#still getting brainrot from this film

[curiosityjams]

my future when it comes to still being Active on social media is teebeedee, but my main resolution for 2024 is like...be comfortable w/ being completely offline even if it's just for a day or a week.

[sixeyesonathiel]

Hi!! I didn’t even realize ur requests were open until I checked your pinned omg. Can u write something dark with loser reader and bully fratboy Gojo pls?? They used to be rly close like lowkey childhood besties and everyone thought they were gonna end up together, BUT he got mixed in with the wrong crowd (aka the frat) and now he’s just so MEAN. He bullies her for no reason now but like... in that messed up way where he’s still obsessed w her?? Like he knows her too well, knows what makes her tick and he uses that against her just to watch her squirm. I want toxic codependent vibes, power imbalance, him being POSSESSIVE as hell and her still clinging to what they used to be. And maybe he’s extra cruel bc he HATES that she still gets to him. Also, this is embarrassing but please write the reader as flat chested. Thank uuu

a/n: ahhh this was actually the second request i ever got on here and it made me spiral (in the best way). i literally paused all my wips to double down on this one because the brainrot was insane. i hope you enjoy what i cooked up hihi <3

cw: dark content, somnophilia, cockwarming, dacryphilia, edging, overstimulation, oral sex, fingering, spanking, nipple play, hair-pulling, public sex, exhibitionism, voyeurism, filming, degradation, humiliation, sadism, drug use, alcohol consumption, jealousy, possessiveness, gaslighting, victim blaming, slut shaming, coercion, stalking, obsessive behavior, 18+ only, MDNI.

fratboy satoru who was once your north star, the kid who’d slip you extra cookies during late-night study sessions, his goofy grin lighting up your world. you’d giggle at his dumb jokes under a blanket fort, his hand brushing yours, promising forever with the kind of sincerity only a kid could muster. but that satoru’s dead, buried under the weight of his family’s collapse, his own arrogance, and the frat’s toxic grip. now, he’s a king in a jungle of red solo cups and bass-heavy trap music, his blue eyes cutting through the haze of a packed house party.

fratboy satoru who’s buzzing from the xans suguru slipped him, his veins electric after a football game win, dragging you to the frat house basement where the air’s thick with weed and desperation. the couch is stained, sagging under your weight as he shoves your skirt up, pinning you down with a hand on your chest. “don’t fucking scream,” he hisses, eyes glinting with sadistic glee as his fingers plunge into you, slick and merciless, curling deep while his other hand smothers your whimpers. “bet you’re soaking ‘cause you love this shit.” your body betrays you, clenching around him as tears stream down your face, and he’s eating it up, his grin wicked as you shatter, sobbing into his palm. “look at this pretty cunt, dripping for me like it knows who owns it,” he growls, his voice low and filthy, fingers pumping harder just to hear you choke on your own moans. he doesn’t stop there—keeps going until you’re shaking, cumming again, your thighs slick and trembling. “fuck, you’re a mess, my favorite fucking mess,” he laughs, licking his fingers clean, eyes never leaving your tear-streaked face. he doesn’t soften, just pulls you onto his lap, muttering, “stay still, or i’ll fuck you right here.”

fratboy satoru who thrives on your fragility, your too-soft heart that cracks under his cruelty. you’re in the library, glasses slipping, surrounded by textbooks, trying to claw your way through a chem assignment. he finds you, of course—slips into the chair behind you, yanking your ponytail back just hard enough to make you gasp. “thought you could hide from me?” he whispers, voice dripping with mockery, but he’s already pulling you into a cramped study room, locking the door. he bends you over the table, skirt flipped up, your notes scattering like confetti. “fuck, you’re so small, so breakable,” he pants, belt clinking as he frees himself, slamming into you so deep your nails dig into the wood. “cry for me, baby, you’re cutest when you’re a mess.” you do, snotty and pathetic, your glasses fogging as he fucks you senseless, his cock stretching you until you’re dizzy. “look at you, taking this dick like it’s your fucking job,” he snarls, slapping your ass, loving how you flinch. your tears only make him harder, and when you beg him to slow down, he just laughs, kissing your wet cheeks. “nah, you’re too fucking cute like this, all pathetic and ruined.”

fratboy satoru who’s got an unholy obsession with your tits, small as they are, worshiping them like they’re his personal altar. he’s got you sprawled across his dorm bed, the sheets reeking of weed and cheap cologne, straddling your waist as he sucks and bites, leaving your chest a map of purple bruises and red teeth marks. “fuck, these are perfect,” he groans, teeth grazing your nipple until you whimper, your hands fisting the sheets. he pins your wrists above your head, his knee between your thighs, grinding against you just to feel you squirm. “keep still, or i’ll tie you up and do this all fucking night,” he warns, eyes glinting with that mean streak, and you know he means it. his tongue’s relentless, swirling over sensitive skin, and when you arch into him, he growls, “goddamn, you’re begging for it, aren’t you? little tits driving me fucking insane.” he leaves you raw, marked, and when he’s done, he kisses you hard, all teeth and possession, muttering, “you’re my fucking angel, don’t forget it.” but there’s no softness, just his hand squeezing your bruised chest one last time.

fratboy satoru who can’t get enough of your pussy, addicted to the way you taste like it’s his last hit. “been thinking about this all night,” he says, spreading your thighs wide, his fingers digging into your ass as he buries his face between your legs. his tongue’s obscene, lapping at your clit like he’s trying to drown in you, sucking hard until your knees buckle. “taste so fucking sweet, could live down here,” he mumbles, voice muffled as he pushes two fingers inside, curling them just to make you scream. you grip the counter, biting your lip to stay quiet, but he doesn’t give a fuck—he wants the whole house to hear. “let it out, baby, let ‘em know who’s eating this pussy,” he taunts, licking you through your first orgasm, then another, until you’re a shaking, dripping mess. he stands, chin glistening, smirking. “that’s my girl.”

fratboy satoru who’s a monster when he’s jealous, his blood boiling when he spots you laughing with some nerd at a campus café. he doesn’t confront you there—just waits, simmering, until he’s got you alone in his car, parked in a shadowy alley. “think you can flirt with other guys?” he snarls, ripping your blouse open, buttons pinging off the dashboard. he reclines the seat, forcing your legs over his shoulders, fucking you so hard the car creaks. “this pussy’s mine, you fucking get that?” he spits, slapping your thigh, his cock relentless as you cry out, overwhelmed. “bet he can’t fuck you stupid like i do,” he growls, his pace brutal, overstimulating you until you’re sobbing, begging for him to ease up. but he doesn’t—he leans down, kissing your tears, smirking, “so fucking pretty when you’re pathetic.” when it’s over, he doesn’t soften, just tosses you his jacket, muttering, “cover up, you’re a fucking mess.”

fratboy satoru who films every depraved second, his phone propped on a nightstand as he’s got you bent over his desk, your skirt bunched at your waist. “smile for the camera, baby,” he taunts, spanking you hard enough to leave welts, the sound echoing in the room. the video’s grainy but vivid—your choked whimpers, the wet slap of skin, your thighs trembling as he fucks you raw. “gonna keep this forever,” he says, voice low and possessive, “jerk off to it when you’re not here.” he doesn’t share the vids, thank fuck—they’re his alone, a private shrine to your broken devotion. “look at this tight little cunt, swallowing me whole,” he groans, zooming in as you clench around him, your tears glistening in the low light. “fuck, you were made for this dick.” he cums with a grunt, watching the footage later, stroking himself to your snotty, ruined face, muttering, “you’re mine, always.”

fratboy satoru who’s unhinged when he’s high, snorting lines with sukuna in the frat house attic before stumbling to your dorm at 3 a.m. you’re asleep, curled up in a t-shirt, but he doesn’t care—he crawls into your bed, yanking your panties off, giggling like a fucking lunatic. “shh, just let me have you,” he slurs, burying his face in your pussy, his tongue sloppy but desperate, moaning like he’s getting off more than you. “fuck, i’d die for this pussy,” he mumbles, licking you until you stir, gasping as your body betrays you, cumming under his relentless mouth. he’s still high when he fucks you, slow and messy, his cock slipping in with a wet squelch. “you’re my fucking lifeline, i’d die without you,” he whispers, eyes bloodshot, but there’s no softness—just his hand gripping your throat, keeping you in place as he takes what he needs.

fratboy satoru who’s got a fetish for your panties, always checking what you’re wearing like it’s his birthright. he corners you in an empty lecture hall after class, flipping your skirt up without preamble. “let’s see what you’re wearing,” he says, fingers brushing the fabric, smirking when he sees the plain cotton. “boring,” he scoffs, pocketing them, leaving you bare. “walk back to your dorm like this,” he orders, his voice low and mean. “bet you’re wet thinking about it.” he’s right—your thighs are slick, your face burning with shame as you obey, and he kneels, licking a slow stripe up your inner thigh, teasing your clit just enough to make you whine. “so fucking needy,” he laughs, standing to kiss you, his lips tasting of you and spearmint gum. “you’re mine, don’t forget,” he adds, twirling your stolen panties around his finger like a prize.

fratboy satoru who lives for fingering you at a frat party, right in the middle of the chaos, perched on his lap like his personal trophy. the room’s a blur of flashing lights and pounding music, but he’s got two fingers buried in you under your skirt, pumping slow and deliberate while he laughs with suguru about some dumb bet. “keep quiet, or they’ll all know what a slut you are,” he whispers, biting your earlobe, his thumb circling your clit until you cum, shaking in his lap, tears welling up from the embarrassment. but he doesn’t stop—keeps going, chasing another orgasm, then another, because you’re just too fucking cute, all teary-eyed and red-faced, trying to hide your face in his neck. “fuck, look at you, falling apart for me in front of everyone,” he taunts, his voice dripping with filth. “bet you want ‘em all to see how this pussy creams for me.” you’re sobbing, mortified, but he just licks your tears, thrusting harder, making sure every drunk asshole in the room knows you’re his. when you cum again, he doesn’t even flinch—just smirks, licking his fingers clean, muttering, “good fucking girl.”

fratboy satoru who’s got you bouncing on his dick like a ragdoll, his phone pressed to his ear while he’s laughing with suguru about some frat drama. you’re in his dorm, straddling him on his gaming chair, your skirt fanned out, tits jiggling with every brutal thrust as he grips your hips, slamming you down harder just to feel you choke on a sob. “yeah, sugu, tell me more,” he says casually, but his eyes are locked on your tear-streaked face, your mouth open in a silent scream. “fuck, this pussy’s gripping me like it’s scared i’ll leave,” he growls low, just for you, his free hand smacking your ass to make you yelp. “keep it down, baby, don’t want suguru hearing how you’re creaming on my cock.” but he’s lying—he loves the idea of someone knowing, and when you cum, shaking and snotty, he mutes the call for a second to kiss your tears, smirking. “you’re too fucking cute when you’re falling apart.”

fratboy satoru who catches you washing dishes in the frat house kitchen, your apron tied tight, looking so domestic it makes his dick twitch. you’re humming softly, oblivious, and he can’t take it—you’re too much like wife material, and it’s fucking with his head. he yanks you against the sink, ripping your leggings down, and fucks you right there, the counter digging into your stomach. “look at you, playing house like you’re not my little cumslut,” he sneers, his cock splitting you open as water sloshes in the sink. “this pussy’s so wet, like it’s begging me to ruin your perfect little fantasy.” your hands grip the faucet, knuckles white, as he pounds into you, dishes clattering with every thrust. “gonna fuck you so good you’ll never dream of anyone else,” he says, biting your neck, leaving a bruise. when you cum, crying his name, he just laughs, leaving you there, panties soaked, to finish the dishes.

fratboy satoru who’s paranoid you’re dreaming of someone else, watching you sleep so peacefully in his bed, your face soft even after he’s fucked you raw. he’s high, overthinking, and can’t stand it—he needs to own every part of you, even your dreams. he slips your panties off, careful not to wake you, and slides his cock into you slow, groaning at how warm and tight you are. “fuck, even your sleeping cunt knows it’s mine,” he whispers, thrusting shallow, watching your brows furrow in your sleep. he’s gentle at first, but when you stir, moaning softly, he goes harder, waking you with a gasp as he fucks you deep. “no one else gets to haunt you like this,” he growls, cumming inside you as you whimper, half-conscious. he doesn’t soften, just kisses your forehead, muttering, “stay in my bed, always.”

fratboy satoru who’s got you cockwarming him while he’s gaming, his headset on as he barks orders at his Valorant team, crushing some rival frat. you’re perched on his lap, his dick buried deep, your thighs trembling as he keeps you still, one hand on your waist, the other clicking his mouse. “don’t you fucking move,” he hisses during a pause, his voice sharp, “or i’ll fuck you till you’re screaming and they all hear.” every time he gets a kill, he thrusts up hard, making you gasp, your pussy clenching around him. “this tight little cunt’s my good luck charm,” he taunts, slapping your thigh when you squirm. he edges you for hours, ignoring your whimpers, until the match ends and he finally fucks you proper, growling, “cum for me, show me you’re mine.” you do, sobbing, and he just smirks, leaving you to drip on his chair.

fratboy satoru who’s feeding you bites of his burger at a crowded frat party, perched on a table while he stands between your legs, his plate balanced in one hand. everyone’s too drunk to notice how he’s grinding his bulge against your clothed cunt, your skirt riding up as he presses harder with every bite he offers. “open wide, baby,” he says, shoving a fry in your mouth, his hips rocking subtly, making you squirm. “fuck, you’re so wet through these panties, like a needy little bitch,” he whispers, his voice low and filthy. “bet you’d let me fuck you right here, let ‘em all see how you take this dick.” you’re blushing, teary, trying to chew while he keeps the pressure on, your clit throbbing. he doesn’t let you cum, just keeps you on edge, smirking when you nearly cry from frustration. “eat up, you’re gonna need the energy.”

fratboy satoru who’s obsessed with edging you until you’re a babbling mess, especially after a nightmare where you tried to leave him. he’s got you in his dorm, tied to his headboard, your thighs spread as he teases your clit with slow, featherlight strokes. “you love this dick too much to leave, don’t you?” he taunts, stopping every time you’re close, your hips bucking desperately. “say it—say you’re fucking obsessed with me.” you’re crying, snotty, babbling, “i love you, satoru, please,” and he just laughs, cruel and delighted. “that’s right, my pathetic little angel, keep begging.” he finally lets you cum after hours, your body shaking, and he’s kissing your tears, but it’s not soft—just possessive. “don’t ever fucking dream of leaving me again.”

fratboy satoru who’s got a sick obsession with public bathrooms, dragging you into one at the science building during a lecture break, the fluorescent lights buzzing overhead. “be quick,” he snaps, locking the door, his belt already clinking as he shoves you against the sink, your skirt yanked up. he spreads your thighs wide, his cock slamming into you with a wet squelch, the mirror fogging from your ragged breaths. “love how you take this dick,” he growls, smacking your ass hard, the sound echoing off the tiles as your face crumples, tears spilling from overstimulation. “cry harder, baby, it’s so fucking cute—look at you, sobbing like a slut in a shithole like this.” your hands claw at the porcelain, your body shaking as he fucks you relentless, his pace brutal, loving how your tears streak your cheeks, snot dripping. he doesn’t stop after you cum once—keeps going, growling, “gimme another, let ‘em hear you outside.” you’re a wreck, begging for mercy, but he just laughs, cumming with a guttural groan, his seed dripping down your thighs. he kisses you soft after, wiping your cheeks, but it’s fleeting, his voice cold. “you’re okay, yeah? just us. now fix your face, you look fucked out.”

fratboy satoru who’s vicious when you try to slip away, catching you creeping out of his dorm after a screaming match over his latest stunt—spreading lies about you to keep guys away. you’re halfway down the dim hallway, heart pounding, when his hand clamps around your wrist, yanking you back. “where the fuck you going?” he snarls, his blue eyes wild with something raw, almost feral—fear masquerading as rage. he pins you against the peeling wall, ripping your jeans down, your legs forced around his waist as he fucks you right there, rough and angry, the drywall scraping your back. “you don’t get to leave me,” he spits, voice cracking, his cock stretching you so wide it burns. “this pussy’s fucking mine, you hear me?” you’re sobbing, your nails digging into his shoulders, and he’s relentless, slamming into you until you cum, crying into his neck. he’s kissing you like he’s pleading, desperate, his hands bruising as he holds you tight, whispering, “i’m sorry, fuck, don’t scare me like that.” but there’s no softness, just his grip tightening, a warning not to try again.

fratboy satoru who’s addicted to breaking you, loving how you shatter under him. he’s got you on all fours in his room, the frat house walls thin enough to let every sound carry, fucking you from behind with a sadistic edge. “nah, baby, take it,” he growls, yanking you back by your waist when you try to crawl away, your body trembling from the stretch of his cock, so thick it feels like it’s tearing you apart. “you can handle more, i know you can,” he says, slamming into you, the headboard banging loud as you sob, snot dripping onto the sheets. “fuck, you’re so cute like this,” he whispers, kissing your spine, his voice mocking as he keeps going, even when you’re shaking, cumming around him with a choked scream. he doesn’t stop, pushing you into another orgasm, his cum spilling inside you as he groans, low and filthy. after, he cleans you up, his lips soft on your swollen pussy, murmuring, “you did so good for me,” but his eyes are already glinting, planning the next way to ruin you.

fratboy satoru who flips out when he sees you chatting with a guy in chem class, his jealousy a live wire. he doesn’t confront you there—just stews, his jaw tight, until he’s got you alone in an empty campus parking lot at dusk. “think you can replace me?” he growls, shoving you over the hood of his car, the metal cold against your stomach as he rips your tights open, the fabric tearing loud in the quiet. he fucks you so hard your knees buckle, his cock driving deep, relentless, your hands scrabbling for purchase on the slick surface. “this cunt knows who it belongs to,” he spits, his hand fisting your hair, yanking your head back as he overstimulates you, pushing you past your limit until you’re crying, begging, your voice hoarse. “so fucking pretty when you’re pathetic,” he laughs, kissing your tears, his tongue licking the salt off your skin. he cums with a snarl, leaving you shaking, but he doesn’t let you collapse—carries you to the passenger seat, tossing his jacket over you, muttering, “you’re mine, always remember that.” his hand rests on your thigh as he drives, possessive, unyielding.

fratboy satoru who’s rarely tender, but when he is, it’s after he’s pushed you to the edge, leaving you bruised and trembling. after a night of fucking you senseless—your thighs marked with bites, your wrists sore from his grip—he pulls you into his bed, the sheets tangled and smelling of sweat. “you’re my only light,” he mumbles, voice low, kissing your hair, your shoulders, the purple welts on your thighs. his fingers trace the marks he left, like he’s trying to piece you back together, his touch almost reverent. “don’t hate me, okay?” he says, voice small, almost boyish, and you nod, too exhausted to argue, your body curling into his warmth. he holds you through the night, stroking your back, and for a fleeting moment, he’s that kid again—the one who’d sneak you candy and whisper promises under starry skies. but by morning, his eyes are cold again, his smirk sharp, reminding you the softness is a trap, a rare glitch in his cruelty.

[rosierin]

smack me like you'd spike a volleyball | atsumu, osamu, suna

synopsis: title is self explanatory i fear

a/n; guys idk. sometimes an idea pops into my head and i just feel compelled to share it

anyway enjoy this pure brainrot

this fic is part of the off-season quartet™ series! for more, click here :p

(Y/n) hummed, idly scrolling through her phone. “Y’know, I’ve always wondered…”

Atsumu, from across the room, barely looked up from his drink. “That’s dangerous.”

(Y/n) ignored him. “‘Smack my ass like you spike a volleyball’��how hard would that actually be?”

Atsumu choked on his drink. “What!?”

"You heard me," (y/n) said, voice comically serious.

After composing himself a little, Atsumu actually— like actually pondered her words.

"Ya know, I've had a fan tweet that at me before and I don’t think they realise how painful that would be.”

Suna, who had been listening in on the entire conversation, eventually piped up, without so much as a blink. “Isn’t that the point?”

Atsumu pressed on, his tone almost urgent. “No. No, I mean, that shit would really hurt.”

(Y/n) shrugged, then stood up. “Okay, let’s try.”

Atsumu nearly dropped his cup. “You want me to smack yer ass??”

(Y/n) deadpanned. “No, you clown. Slap my hand like you’d spike a volleyball and I’ll tell you if it hurts.”

Atsumu stared at her, then at her outstretched hand, then back at her face. “Are ya sure?”

“Yeah.”

“This is really gonna hurt.”

“Stop stalling and slap me already!”

Atsumu groaned, stretching his wrist like he was warming up for Nationals. “Jesus. Alright, woman. Don’t say I didn’t warn ya.”

That was the moment Osamu walked into the room.

He took one look at the scene—(y/n) standing there, hand out, Atsumu poised to slap her like he was about to serve match point in the Olympics.

Osamu blinked. “What is happening.”

Suna barely contained his smirk. “(Y/n) is asking Atsumu to slap her.”

Osamu’s stare turned exponentially more judgmental. “…What.”

Suna shrugged but didn't question it. “Dunno either.”

Atsumu waved a hand at them, then jerked a thumb at (y/n). “Hey, don’t look at me, she’s the freak here.”

Osamu sighed, rubbing his temples like this wasn’t even in his top ten weirdest experiences with them. Meanwhile, Suna casually pulled out his phone, thumb hovering over the record button.

(Y/n) rolled her shoulders, steeling herself. “Alright. Moment of truth. Hit me.”

Osamu groaned. “Tsumu, don’t actually hit her—”

Too late.

A loud, cracking smack sliced through the air as Atsumu swung his hand full force against (y/n)’s palm. The sheer impact made the sound echo off the walls.

(Y/n) immediately yanked her hand back, shaking it out furiously. “OW—”

Atsumu looked horrified. “I TOLD YOU, WHAT DID YOU EXPECT—”

(Y/n) fanned her stinging palm. “MY HAND BURNS.”

Osamu stared at them in pure disappointment before shaking his head and walking straight out of the room like he was clocking out of their nonsense.

Meanwhile, Suna, still filming, zoomed in dramatically on (y/n)’s face. “Well?”

(Y/n) flexed her fingers, pain still written over her features. “That actually hurt way more than I thought it would.”

Atsumu scoffed. “I am a literal professional athlete, what on earth did ya expect?”

Suna panned his camera to Atsumu. “Subtle flex.”

(Y/n) rolled her eyes, still shaking her hand. “Okay, athlete. Anyway, I can now confirm that your fangirls do NOT want to get spanked like a volleyball.”

Suna stopped recording, nodding sagely. “Amen.”

Osamu’s voice drifted from the hallway. “Y'all need therapy.”

A beat of silence.

Atsumu grinned at (y/n), waggling his eyebrows. “‘Kay, now turn around, babe. S'time to try out the real deal."

Suna immediately hit record again.

(Y/n) screeched and protected her precious backside.

“ABSOLUTELY NOT.”

[kurooh]

HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY 🔥🥰

I truly love your work I was wondering if you can do more MHA men and how they would be like if fem reader was famous (model, actress , artist etc) have a great rest of your day❤️❤️❤️

BEGGIN’ ON HER KNEES TO BE POPULAR ! — BOKU NO HERO ACADEMIA

⊹₊˚. you’re his celebrity crush. (still, even after you started officially dating)

⟡ feat. aged up! midoriya izuku, todoroki shōto, kirishima eijirou, kaminari denki, takami keigo.

⟡ warnings: 18+ content (mdni), f! reader, some fluff, all characters & reader are 25+, quirkless/modern au, different au’s for each character, brainrot post.

⟡ xoxo, juno: omg nonnie this req is absolutely brilliant. thank you for the birthday wishes!! 💓

being a dancer/performer means your limbs are always a little achy or tight, and that’s where izuku comes in to help you stretch out. in other words, he fucks you in every position possible until you’re melting beneath him. he’ll attend all your performances and cheer, the loudest in the audience.. he’s almost gotten kicked out a few times. izuku’s always observing you, especially when you dance, and so he sweeps you into his arms after dinner, then slow dances with you.

shōto poses nude for you and sits pretty as you paint him onto your canvas, meticulously capturing the slopes and curves of his body. you’re the artist, and he’s your muse — even after years of painting him clothed or nude, he still gets hard from just your eyes on him. after a painstakingly long time spent correcting and coloring, you finally stand and give his drooling cock the attention it deserves.

denki’s a renowned singer, and you’re his groupie. despite the rumors of all the women he’s been with, you’ve come to learn that they were untrue. the second he saw you in the audience cheering, he decided to invite you backstage. then he started giving you free concert tickets to every show; it only progressed from there. so many of his fans are jealous, but he doesn’t care. if he could, he’d fuck your brains out right in front of them. denki helped make you famous by recording your voice and your moans in the studio, then he added them into his songs.

eijirou’s friends are tired of hearing about you all the time— all he does is rave about his beautiful model girlfriend and show pictures of her. he loves to participate in your social media posts and monitor the comment sections, etc. sometimes eijirou leaves one too many marks along your body (your boss hates him), or fucks you until you can barely walk just because. occasionally your instagram posts and sfw rating amps up when eijirou takes your phone and posts something a little suggestive about you two.

your most popular movie received worldwide attention, and even more when the truth about you and your costar, keigo, got out. you couldn’t escape the relationship questions all over social media or in interviews once everyone learned you’d hated each other behind the scenes, yet had unmistakable chemistry on screen. unbeknownst to the audience, you’d only maintained the chemistry with him because of some quick fucks before and after shooting. of course, it’s not like the sex stopped after filming and production— you’re still secretly seeing each other, practically dating now. your fans often ignore or wonder about the blank instagram account that likes to call you theirs in comments below your posts in response to others.

[o-sachi]

Blue Lock Filo! AU Headcanons

𖤓 feat. isagi, bachira, chigiri, kunigami, barou, nagi, reo, sae, rin, karasu, otoya, hiori, shidou, oliver, yukimiya 𖤓 tags: college au, filo au, crack (kinda), sfw, written in Taglish because ???, not proofread lel

note: I'm sorry if your uni isn't here. My knowledge of universities in the country is limited to the big 4 and some others that participate in uaap sobbb

note 2: Send me your own hcs too plspls

note 3: filo moots sana magkaron haha what if

Isagi

He goes to UST and will correct you (nicely) about how to pronounce "Thomasian"

Goes to church with his family every Sunday without failure

He's close with his extended family too, especially the grandparents.

Golden child. Siya yung bata na example ng nanay mo na dapat gayahin mo raw.

A fan of indie Pinoy bands and watches indie Pinoy films.

Cup of Joe fan lol

Too shy to ask anyone out for the Christmas event sa UST (sorry limot ko na ano tawag).

Is in UST, but probably not taking up medicine. Parents were supportive of it though.

Mabilis mag-reply. He uses the 👍 and 😊 unironically

Friends with a lot of questionable/cancelable guys, but he's still genuinely the nice one among them

When he visits a friend's house, he's always chatting up their parents and helping around the house without being asked

Generic sinigang enjoyer :shrug:

Pretty much an average guy. Though he is definitely nicer than most. It shocks you.

(Sorry wala na ko maisip pero basta green flag siya).

Bachira

Goes to UP Diliman for fine arts

A manic pixie dream boy that girls gush about when they see him hanging out at the sunken gardens

Knows all the brainrot and even the Pinoy brainrot

Does the "Ha? Halaman" and says "Sinong nagtanong?"

Loves Jollibee because it's cheap and it tastes good

Spaghetti and Jollihotdog enjoyer

Social anxiety fears him. He'll do mostly everything you ask him for 20 pesos (sometimes for free)

Celebrated his 4th birthday at Jollibee and has a picture with the mascot lol

Bardagulan enjoyer

Has been casted in plays before and is genuinely good at acting

See him running in campus because he's always late to class

Puts too many songs in the karaoke but never finishes the songs because he gets bored halfway through

Runs a FB meme page...

Actually dresses nicely. Hindi mukhang pakboi

Not afraid sumabit sa jeep. Either sa tabi siya ni manong or sabit

Chigiri

Went to some fancy all boys like Brent, then is now in Ateneo

Could be studying business ??

Not conyo. Just straight up English with a really good accent

imessage lang daw mode of communication niya

Always wearing a button up, khaki pants, and loafers na Sperry or sandals from Birkenstock

Was featured in a commercial when he was younger

His mom was very active in the PTA. Their family was often the topic of chismis because yk maraming inggit sa paligid.

Does not listen to OPM or watch Filipino movies because 'corny' daw 'yun

Mabagal mag-reply since he's always busy doing something

Calls people 'baduy' or 'jologs' or 'jejemon' because he can

MATARAY SI ATE KO

Will never catch him on a dating app because, again, it's so baduy daw

Kunigami

I dunno but... UP Baguio vibes siya lol

Will always always always post on his story of him running along the campus

May post palagi ng gym progress at Strava stats niya

People think he's thirst trapping, but really, he's not

Also very close with family and they celebrate all holidays together no matter what

Karinderya food enjoyer (same)

Loves anything na lutong bahay tbh. He's not picky with food.

Mabagal din mag-reply pero that's because he's not chronically online

Does not get internet memes or references. Lolo po siya.

A really good kuya! The type to intimidate his sisters' boyfriends if they ever come to visit their house.

Probably also plays basketball too. They used to live near a gym/ring. He played a lot with the neighborhood kids.

Watches NBA and Manny's boxing matches

Shot puno. Red Horse. San Mig.

Pag nalasing nag-dadrama tapos kakanta ng malungkot na song sa karaoke

Laging naka sando LOL

Barou

UP DILIMAN TOO AND STUDYING ARCHITECTURE

Makes insanely good plates

Laging napapagalitan ni lola kasi nakasimangot palagi

Lola's boy by the way

Gets insane road rage because of the god awful traffic

"Putangina traffic na naman." / "Parang gago 'to mag-drive." / "Sige. Singit pa, hayop ka." (sa naka-motor)

Fan siya ng F1

Malutong magmura lmfaooo

Also a gym bro but doesn't care about sharing it on social media

Barely any social media presence

Tutors his younger siblings

Isn't ashamed of taking food from parties, stuffing it in a tupperware, and heading his merry way home

Argues with people on FB because he can

"Anong sinasabi mo. Bobo ka ba?"

Term of endearment niya ay "Tanga"

Nagi

Parents always get mad at him kasi nga tamad.

Also because he was a picky eater as a child. Would rather starve than eat that one ampalaya dish (was always served at his household which pissed him off)

Wanted to go to the same university as Reo but Ateneo is too serious for him. So he went with sports science in NU

They make sure to meet up still

Always misses his stops because he falls asleep or zones out

He's the guy in class who always has his airpods on no matter what

Hoodie, baggy pants, dunks

Mahilig umutang, pa-unti unti, pero madalas nalilimutan

"Ah. May utang ako? Sorry, nalimutan ko siguro."

COD player na palaging may battle pass no matter what. Nainis siya isang beses kasi sinabihan siya ng PC MASTER RACE. Eh cellphone gamer lang siya

Obviously, he had his ML phase

Trashtalker siguro. "Tulog ka na. Bata," type shi

Teachers always forced him to join the events in the sports fest

Reo

Siyempre, Ateneo 'yan. Management Engineering pa. 'Di niyo kinayaaaa

CONYO 'YAN FOR SURE

He's in a bunch of orgs and stuff because he's a social butterfly like that

May nanay na judgmental sa ibang pamilya lmfao

Was in one of those interviews on campus asking students about their daily baon

"Ah. Isn't 1k a day normal? It's kulang pa nga eh since I live sa condo."

Ayun. Nakatira sa condo pala.

Goes golfing with his dad and posts his swing on IG stories

Crypto bro. Shares his crypto stats(?) sa IG stories

Humble bragger kahit saan. Personal or on social media

Same porma with Chigiri pero mas madalas naka-polo shirt siya

Ralph Lauren and Lacoste boy

Laging VIP seats sa concerts. May napila sa SM tickets para sa kanya

Lowkey a D-list or C-list celebrity

Friends with Filo actors and actresses

Sae

Also Ateneo (Sorry ang daming Ateneo. Alam ko. Pero those are the vibes eh.)

Definitely went for medicine and is planning to study even more sa foreign country

The golden boy of their clan. Always receives the most praise and pasalubong from relatives

He hates hearing the "Ang laki mo na!" greeting

Never engaged in the pagmamano and saying of "po" and "opo"

SURPRISINGLY, he enjoys the dirty ice cream they sell on a cone (it's not actually dirty btw, it's what we call ice cream sold by carts on the street. it's edible dw)

Possibly a frat boy

Gets so many message requests on messenger and insta but he ignores them all

Strava enthusiast din

You'll see him running in all of the best gear

Not conyo. He actually speaks mostly Tagalog but there's that slight 'maarte' accent there

Hates being called 'rich kid' kesyo baduy din daw LMAO

They have a driver, so many yayas, a gardener... ay basta kumpleto staff nila

Ayaw nung staff sa kanya kasi suplado

Drives a BMW

Rin

Went to La Salle and got into LeapMed just to spite his older brother and prove to them that he is better

Relatives always compare them

Even though they're rich, he probably got a lot of hand-me-downs from kuya, which pissed him off SO MUCH

Not a fan of Filipino movies, but he likes the horror movies. He says some of them are really well-crafted and gives a good scare sometimes

Unlike Sae, Rin likes homemade food. I see him liking Menudo lol (I mean, who doesn't?)

Refuses to commute. He's driving or he's being driven. No buts.

Mas gusto siya ng staff sa bahay nila lol

He grew up with a specific yaya. They're actually still close now. He's closer to her than his parents.

The conyo one. Mahilig mag-mura pero exclusively English 'yan.

Takes the longest to reply kaya 'yan walang ka-talking stage lol

100% has beef with the younger members of his extended family. He has that annoying cousin that he tripped once because why not

He hates family reunions, of course

Karasu

UPLB. Fo sho.

Chemical engineering definitely.

Halimaw yarnnn (heart eyes heart eyes)

Bro pulls up to class in a shirt, basketball shorts, and flip flops

Not a fan of the nightlife there, but is a certified manginginom LMAO

Can outdrink his dad and titos. Kahit lambanog pa 'yan

Extra respectful to the ladies in his family. Gets ultra pissed off when someone jokes about getting with his mom or older sister

Malutong din magmura

His personal favorite is "gago" HAHAHA

Medyo dry mag-chat, walang emojis (pero 'yun ang gusto ng mga babae apparently)

Not a fan of Manila (smells weird daw there)

Secretly makes fun of conyo people lol

Street food enjoyer. His favorite is probably isaw or squid balls. Matamis and maasim sauce please !

He can cook, but his mom cooks better, so taga-saing na lang siya ng bigas lol

Mahilig siya sa tapsilog siguro.

Lives off of energy drinks to survive the semester

Crush ko siya. Hala headcanon ba yan HAHAHAHA

Otoya (Oh boy oh boy)

Engineering as well, but at Mapua. Probably electrical engineering or industrial

Gwapo na mabango HAHAHA

VAPES. Onti na lang naka-lanyard na vape niya

Listens to Zild and Hev abi...

Araw-araw may IG story ng car niya, ng music na pinapakinggan niya, or panibagong soft launch

Fan siya ng American Psycho at Blade Runner kasi he is him daw (akala niya siya si Ryan Gosling na may pinagdadaanan...)

Nasa Tinder at Bumble. Bio reads: "Let's see where it takes us."

Na-cancel na sa Twitter before pero wala siyang pakialam (unbothered king?!)

Favorite song ang FE!N

Rap fan 'yan eh

Nako... may Telegram 'yan

Valorant e-boy. Kailangan may duo palagi.

Says he's into cute chinitas probably

Laging may note sa IG or sa messenger lol

"Kumain ka na ba?" texts (hala siya)

Of course, good morning at good night texts din

Frat boy siguro (may frat ba sa Mapua? sorry hindi ko knows)

Drinks a lot, but he can't handle his liquor. Gigising na lang siya the next day may video siya sa boy's GC na kung anu-ano ginagawa.

Hiori

Computer Science probably. Also in UPLB. (Ang probinsyano?? HAHAHAHA)

Studying? Why study when he can be at the computer shop? He lives there, pretty much

Dorms because he wants to get away from his family

Can't be bothered with org/frat culture

Tambay sa forums like freedom walls/reddit/etc

Sumasali siya sa e-sports tournaments

LoL and DOTA player, of course

Also plays a bunch of stuff on Steam as well though. Pero babalik at babalik pa rin sa LoL

Also plays Valorant. Smurfs for fun because he likes crushing the hopes and dreams of people. "Sala ka pa. Haha, tanga," type shi.

Always down for the early morning runs to 7-11 or whatever's open at that hour

Puro pancit canton kinakain. Puro Mountain Dew iniinom.

He and his friends always talk about PC specs...

"Hindi, pre. Mas maayos pa rin 'yung ano..."

Shidou

Also from La Salle maybe? Not the Taft branch though. Hindi kasing yaman nung iba siguro.

Fine arts student! May art account siya sa IG

Napalabas siya sa McDo dati kasi masyadong maingay

Would probably vlog a day of his life at La Salle

Posts all the unhinged shit on their freedom wall and fucks with the people from the Taft branch lol

The reason why their group chat cannot be leaked under any circumstance AT ALL

Always has the weirdest nickname in their messenger group chat

Somehow I get the vibe that he enjoys inihaw lol (same)

Napunta rin minsan sa computer shop. But very rarely because he gets too heated and starts making a ruckus there (mapapalabas na naman)

Expert commuter. Baha has nothing on him. Waterproof siya.

Would probably engage in frat culture, but only for fun

A party animal. 10 seconds niya yung Cuervo ez

Oliver

Umm UP Manila Political Science? Maybe?

Always nominated for council positions or other important roles in university organizations lol

Major kuya vibes kasi

ANONG VAPE VAPE? DIRETSO MARLBORO RED NA

Which is giving out first? His liver or his lungs? Abangan.

Unlike Otoya, he doesn't really date girls at the same time, but more so, he moves faster than what you'd expect (may rebound palagi kumbaga)

Posts on his IG story always with the intention of capturing the attention of someone lol (lagi siya humahakot haha)

"It's not you. It's me."

Bro thinks he's the male lead of a Filipino indie romance film

Cannot shut up about I'm Drunk I Love You

Frequents BGC clubs as well. Aspired to be a DJ once

Lahat ng messaging apps meron 'yan. Replies very fast too.

Search up BGC Boy playlists on Spotify. That's what he does, at least.

Yukimiya

Maybe goes to Normal U. because he wants to be a teacher/professor

The typical softboi you see at a cafe reading a book or typing away on his MacBook

So many girls like him, but he's the type to be in a long-term relationship with a high school sweetheart or something

Most of his stories are of him studying (his notes, his coffee with his notes, his laptop screen)

Ben&Ben listener LMAOOO

Possibly also a lifestyle vlogger or podcaster

Keeps getting offers to model for local brands

Possibly religious (his whole family is)

He looks like he would like adobo. 'Yung may toyo, hindi ung tuyo (ANG RANDOM BAHAHAH)

Munimuni listener (he was sad when the vocalist left)

Wants to win a Carlos Palanca award eventually

Looks like the type to advocate for the local culture and is against colonial mentality

My brain ran out of ideas that's why some are shorter than the others lol

[justhereforthemeta]

Romantic expectations and the story we didn't see: A magic trick hiding in plain sight

Here's a hopeful meta for all my fellow celestial brainrot sufferers out there. Cheers! :)

This idea started as a dead end, trying to track the movements of Crowley’s sideburns/tattoo because I thought time travel shenanigans were afoot. I had to abandon that theory when it was pointed out that David was simultaneously filming as the sideburns-having Fourteenth Doctor, and in-universe Crowley can do whatever he wants with his facial hair whenever he feels like it. But hey - null findings are still findings!

On the bright side, pausing the show to make notations in a spreadsheet forced me to slow down and notice other changes I'd overlooked the first time around: acting choices, costuming choices, references to book lore. And possibly a few surreptitious flicks of the wrist, in places where we’re meant to be focused on the magician’s other hand.

@amuseoffyre and @ineffablefood had a great exchange recently about romance and “the significance of misdirection and three-in-one (magic) tricks” throughout the show. I suspect Neil has done something brilliant with the audience’s long-standing expectations (since the 1990s, really) for the love story between Crowley and Aziraphale to develop. And while it is a wonderful story indeed, playing to this expectation lets Neil distract his audience from the blink-and-you'll-miss-them seeds he's planting for the final chapter.

Continued below the cut...

Let’s start at the beginning of Episode 2. First, context: In the previous installment, Crowley stormed out of the bookshop, was whisked away to Hell by Beelzebub where he learns about the Book of Life threat to Aziraphale’s existence, then returned to the bookshop to dance a little apology dance and hide Gabriel with an unintentionally massive joint miracle. In S2E2, we and Shax catch up with Crowley as he's snoozing in the Bentley.

Shax: “You’re in trouble”

A. J. Crowley, cool as a cucumber: “Obviously. Former demon, hated by Heaven, loathed by Hell. How will our hero cope?”

Interesting! Sarcastic? Yes, absolutely; but that’s also a good 4500 years and an averted apocalypse away from “I’m a demon. I lie,” wouldn’t you say? Someone is sounding a whole lot less depressed and aimless and navel-gazey (do snakes have navels?), and a whole lot more like he’s got a project to focus on, since his "what's the point?" ruminations on the park bench in E1.

And of course we all noticed the costume change right away. Hello, black turtleneck. Feeling cute today, thought I’d cover up my graceful long neck? That sounds unlikely. Let’s put a pin in this one.

There’s also an interesting acting choice going on here. Crowley speaks to Shax in a funny, drawling, too-cool-for-you voice that we haven’t heard in a while. Specifically, not since 1967. If you go back and give the S1E3 scene in the Dirty Donkey a listen, you’ll hear it (and if you know of another instance of it that I've missed, please let me know!). In S2E2, he keeps up this odd voice (if anybody knows what kind of affect this is supposed to be, please do tell!) throughout this dialogue with Shax, except for the brief moment when she first surprises him about the joint miracle having been detected.

1967 was a fun year. Crowley masterminded a heist! And seemed like he was having a ball doing it, right up until his little caper was called off after Aziraphale brought him the thermos of holy water. Crowley spoke to his co-conspirators in that same funny, very 60’s-caper-film voice. He wore a hip 60’s turtleneck. He bought petrol for the only time ever, so he could get those sweet James Bond bullet hole decals for his car (per the book, seen on the Bentley in the show).

Those James Bond bullet hole decals would of course have been part of a promotion for this 1967 release, which you just know our film-enjoying demon went to see in the theater:

Starring this suave, be-turtlenecked guy:

And now - begging your forgiveness - a brief rant.

There are a number of posts out there that refer to Crowley’s S2E2 turtleneck as a flirtatious sartorial choice - actually, ‘slutty’ seems to be the favored accusation. There are even a few posts floating around commenting on how sweet it is that Crowley swaps out his slutty, kinky, throw-me-over-your-desk-and-take-me turtleneck for a more dressy and appropriate collared shirt specifically to attend Aziraphale’s Jane Austen ball. 

Now this is all in good fun, and Crowley does indeed look fantastic here, and I do love a good fangirling sesh as much as the next person. However, fandom’s collective tendency to interpret what we are seeing on the screen through the lens of romantic expectation can, at times, give rise to a kind of blinkered enthusiasm that obscures the original text in a haze that is part Mandela Effect, part unrestrained horniness, and part in-group code talking and identity reinforcement.

Respectfully, Crowley’s black turtleneck does not appear at all in S2E5: The Ball. In fact, it never appears again after the end of S2E2.

For Someone’s sake, let’s collectively pull our heads out of the romantic fog/gutter for a moment and focus on what we are actually seeing in the book and on the screen. For Crowley, this is an uncharacteristic within-period costume change. There is a surreptitious flick of the wrist happening here, out in broad daylight, and we are all missing it.

So here’s a thing. Aziraphale appears to have settled comfortably into life on Earth, his neighborhood, his books, using Crowley as an outlet for sharing his good deeds that he would once have reported to Heaven. Meanwhile, at first glance, Crowley appears stuck in a rut. There he slouches on a park bench with Shax in S2E1: a guy who lives in his car, stagnantly clinging to old familiar habits, mulling over the pointlessness of it all.

Setting aside the bit about living in the Bentley (I’m going to attribute this to well-documented issues between him and Aziraphale, discussed in many other excellent metas, and move on), Crowley has at least two very good, proactive reasons for maintaining his contact with Hell through Shax. First and foremost, it’s a source of information he can use to keep ahead of potential threats to Aziraphale and himself.

But also, I would posit…he kinda likes it.

Recall that book GO was first conceived as a parody, with Aziraphale and Crowley as spy-against-spy (but not really) field operatives in an ages-old cold war between Heaven and Hell. Their entire book dynamic is rooted in the trope of two opposing agents who have been in the field for so long that they now have more in common with each other than with their respective head offices. Their St. James’s Park meetings among other spies and ministers trading secrets are a sendup of what was once a well-known Cold War-era cliché. 

Our contemporary Crowley still likes slick outfits and hellaciously expensive watches and high-performing vintage cars and pens that write underwater while looking like they could break the speed limit. He coaches Shax on how to blend in as a demon on Earth, and he helpfully redirects the wayward contact looking for the Azerbaijani sector chief. He loves improvising and getting away with shenanigans under the institutional radar. And boy golly was he impressed with Jane Austen: master spy, brandy smuggler, and mastermind of the 1810 Clerkenwell Diamond Robbery. 

And if you look at it a certain way, for as long as Crowley has considered himself to be on “[his] own side” - going at least as far back as Job - he could almost think of himself as a sort of double agent. It’s actually a very romantic sort of notion, befitting our hopeless romantic of a (professedly former) demon; but it’s romantic in a very different way than we, the audience, have been primed to watch for.

In other words, in a very “on my own side” kind of way, Crowley really gets a kick out of being a spy. Or at least, dressing up and accessorizing as one, and moonlighting as a good-doing double agent when he can get away with it. And also being a plotting criminal mastermind. Two sides of a coin, really. Just look at Jane Austen.

My point is: No, Crowley did not wait around for Shax to come find him in a turtleneck so that he could go flirt with Aziraphale later. He’ll flirt with Aziraphale no matter what. No, this:

is actually this:

Much like the one he wears to the Dirty Donkey in 1967: 

whilst holy water heist-plotting. Here's a clearer shot with gratuitous Bentley, because I love them:

…and which he'll wear again, with appropriate camouflage, while infiltrating Heaven in S2E6:

That is the 1967 planning a HEIST turtleneck for committing ESPIONAGE and STEALING THINGS in. Because turtlenecks are what modern human master spies wear to get their hands dirty - after all, he saw it in a movie once. 

Crowley dons his tactical turtleneck sometime during the first major break in the action (which doesn't happen until after the joint miracle to hide Gabriel) after he learns about the threat the Book of Life poses to Aziraphale. Loverboy started mentally preparing himself to go after that book immediately upon learning that it was in play as a genuine threat. 

Now let’s pick up at the S2E2 Dirty Donkey scene, reading the story from this angle. Of course, Crowley enables Aziraphale’s delusions about Heaven by hiding information from him, and does not disclose the Book of Life threat when they meet again. They go into the pub, Aziraphale shamelessly paws Crowley’s chest like the seductive Bond Girl he is, and Crowley gets to act all smooth and suave and intimidating as he chases off the interloping Mr. Brown (or Mr. Collins for the Pride & Prejudice fans, take your pick).

Ergo, theory: beginning in S2E2, Crowley is already thinking of himself as a Jane Austen/James Bond action hero (“How will our hero cope?”), psyching himself up to rescue Aziraphale by getting his spy game on and stealing the Book of Life.

Now, watch closely...This is where Aziraphale and Crowley brainstorm their plans to solve the problem they both know about: getting Maggie and Nina to fall in love and thereby get Heaven off their backs. Crowley’s vavoom plan is drawn from yet another movie (“Get humans wet and staring into each other’s eyes - vavoom, sorted. I saw it in a Richard Curtis film.”). But Crowley also implicitly shares his solution to the problem he hasn’t told Aziraphale about. And true to form, Crowley’s Jane Austen solution isn’t the same as Aziraphale’s Jane Austen solution. 

Two solutions that fail by the end of Season 2, and a secret third one that might still work...and there's our magic trick of three.

‘“I’m lost. Am I doing a rainstorm?” Yes, babe. And a heist, too - just not until season three. Can I get a wahoo!? 

I won’t spend time on A Companion to Owls during this meta, except to note that in all three minisodes, we get to watch stories that involve Crowley acting as a double agent on “his/their own side” - successfully making Hell and Heaven think he’s fulfilling their will while saving Job’s goats and children; failing to fool Hell when he does a good deed in Edinburgh; and of course, collaborating with Aziraphale whilst evading detection as an infernal turncoat during the Blitz.

(Because this is getting long, I'll also skip over Crowley's interrogation of Jim in this episode - I'll probably come back to that in another meta. But interrogating is a rather spy-ish thing to do.)

When we catch up with Crowley again later, he’s already slipped out of the bookshop, having left Aziraphale to his biblical reverie about Job. He saunters snakily down Whickber Street as usual, but with a very pointed and swift glance over his shoulder (see pic above). This demon is up to something - possibly something we didn’t get to see, something that may have happened offscreen while he stepped out. In any case, knowing there’ve been unfriendly angels in the neighborhood that morning, he’s rightly concerned about being spied on.

From this point until the beginning of episode six, there isn’t a whole lot of opportunity for Crowley to make any next moves. He babysits the bookshop, during which time he manages to wring some crucial information out of Jim; he follows his Crowley’s Angel around like a puppy, and downs a bottle of red like a good old fashioned lovesick boy once that’s been pointed out to him. If any plotting or scheming is underway, this occult being is keeping stumm for now.

This has been a long one, so I’ll wrap up with Crowley’s infiltration of Heaven with Muriel. The turtleneck disguise works (Archer fans, be vindicated!) long enough to gather some information that will be crucial not just to the denouement of S2, but also to Crowley’s journey in S3 (previous post on Crowley's Fall, Saraqael, and memory wiping). And Aziraphale gets to enjoy that view exactly zero times. The point isn’t oh, a turtleneck! How flirty! So cunty! So cute! Y’all. Everything matters. The costume change was a deliberate choice. In-universe, Crowley’s decision to wear his special spy turtleneck for spying in is a signal that he is out doing spy things, even as we watch.

In sum: Beginning in S2E2 and continuing through the end of the season, Aziraphale and Crowley are actively living out the scripts of two parallel, concurrent, and completely different Jane Austen stories. But you and I, dear fellow audience member, we came here for a comedy with a hefty jigger of romance, and that’s what Neil gave us to focus on. And right up until the Final 15, that was the only story we saw.

Meanwhile, Special Agent A. J. Crowley doesn’t have time to mope around at the end of S2E6. He’s kicked down, but he’s not out. He's got a Book of Life to steal, a very serious bone to pick with a certain memory-wiping angel, and his Angel and the world to save. 

“‘Heigh ho,’ said [romantic, optimist, former demon, hero, master spy] Anthony Crowley, and just drove anyway.”

[the-kr8tor]

Hello again!

Congrats on your one year anniversary 💐

Would it be possible to do star anise + cardamom for Hobie with❣️ for an actors!au where both the reader and Hobie were child actors who worked on a film together (like Moonrise Kingdom if you’ve watched it) and they get the biggest crushes on each other during the shoot, but one of them has to go back to their home country (like Hobie going back to England or something) and they never see each other after.

Then like 10 years later they end up meeting up again for like an actors on actors interview, and they’re trying to be professional with each other while hiding how giddy or infatuated they still are of each other 😭

Just…fluff brainrot.

Thank you!

-😅

Hehehe i hope you like it bestie!!! Thank you for being patient ❤️❤️❤️

Pairing: Hobie Brown x fem! Reader/ Spider-Punk x fem! Reader

Tags: No use of Y/N, no specific physical description of the reader (except for clothing), established relationship, actor AU, childhood friends, fluff!

One year celebration 🎉

“Did you actually have a crush on me?” You almost choke on your water when the words escape from Hobie's smirking lips. He sits across from you, leg perched on top of the other and dressed to the nines in his own style. You'd be lying if you said you haven't been admiring him ever since he entered the studio.

“Oh, come on—” Your smile betrays you.

“Well, did you, love? That little smooch on the cheek felt way too personal.” He counteracts with a teasing look at you, brows wiggling as you reach over to his leg and smack him with the question cards that you two haven't bothered to read out loud.

It's like time didn't pass between you two, as if you were still on set together with him for eight hours a day like you were just playing pretend with your best friend. You'll never admit that you missed him, and that the second your agent brought up the idea of the interview with him, you immediately said yes. You've heard in the greenroom that he too said yes rather quickly— and you know that the famous Hobie Brown doesn't usually say yes to things like this. You're just happy to see and chat with an old friend again.

You hide your face with the card, tamping down your giggles as your cheeks warm from the sight of him. He eggs you on, nudging your heel with his boot.

“Stop, this is vintage!”

“Stop dodgin’ the bloody question then!”

The echoes of laughter spread throughout the soundstage. And the presence of the crew and staff fades in the back of your mind, as if you and Hobie were back in his trailer, playing couch co-op or reading the scripts together.

You sigh dramatically, earning another bout of laughter from him. “Fine! Yes, I did have a big crush on you!”

“I jus’ asked if you had one not how huge it was!” Hobie guffaws, slapping his thigh while you narrow your eyes at him.

“Alright.” You say with a curl of your lips, “my turn, did you have a crush on me back then?”

Without missing a beat, Hobie's expression turns a tad serious but his smile remains. “Still do, lovie. Still bloody do. A big bloody one too.”

You're speechless and he knows that he got you.

“Um,” you blink, giggling nervously as you wipe your sweaty palms on your outfit. You resist the urge to use the cards as a fan. “It's been ten years, Hobie, still?”

The air runs thick, and he sits up properly now, eyeing you softly, elbows perched on his knees. “Yeah, first love, innit?”

Tears well up in your eyes as you clutch the cards tighter. “You've always been such a little shit, Hobie Brown.” He chuckles at your words. You inhale, reaching to hold his hand that he meets you halfway with. “I missed you.”

He smiles, squeezing your hand. “Missed you too, does this mean you'll take the movie offer with me?”

“The one where it could be an oscar bait?” He nods, eyes twinkling. “You’re still fucking cheeky. Absolutely, no doubt about it now, co-star.”

[restlesscrybaby]

Hihiii! I would just like to say, I love your Ring-a-Ding/Lux headcanons! I think k I’ve read all of them and that’s really help to increase the toon-loving brainrot I have over him lol

If you’re still taking requests,,, How about what makes the lovable Mr. Ring-a-Ding flustered and/or embarrassed? The people want to know what gets him weak at the knees and all red in the face! Feel free to make this NSFW, SFW, or both! Whatever you prefer ^w^

(Also I sincerely hope that you’ll feel better soon, please make sure to get plenty of rest!)

Awhh, thank you anon! I'm trying my best to get back on my track, so I'm posting smth to keep my glorious fans fed! Haha!

!! MR. RING-A-DING / LUX IMPERATOR. !!

-- WHAT MAKES HIM FLUSTERED! NSFW AND SFW.

!⚠️ CW. NSFW. MDNI. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. ⚠️!

!!! SFW. !!!

What makes him flustered is;

- His partner in a femme Fatale dress. Phewww..

- A male partner in one of those film-noir suits.. Oh my!

- His partner being possessive of him too.

- His antenna being twirled like hair.

- Gentle touches to him. Rubbing his back, playing with his hair, something physical. He loves touch.

- His partner praising him. In any way. Worship that man and he becomes a mess!

- Being kissed all over the face.

- His partner bragging about him.

- If someone flirts with his partner, but they instead start talking about him proudly. ( Or, if he's there, his partner holding onto him, )

- Using old slang. When you use it, he gets all giddy. Things like 'Give me a honey-cooler..?' ( A kiss! )

- Any thing that looks like a wedding outfit on you. Oh my. It makes his bowtie twist, thinking of you being his that far.

- His partner fixing his bowtie and being very close to him. He likes to admire...

!!! NSFW. !!!

What gets him flustered;

- Being touched softly in sexual ways. Tracing his shaft, gliding a hand down his body.

- Being body worshipped. Yes! Treat him like the God he is.

- For females, the femme Fatale dress.. Adjusting the stocking on your thigh through the slit of the dress. Oh my.. The way it hugs! Phew!

- For male readers, when you slip off the coat of your fancy outfit.. The way your white, button-up shows beneath. Hugging your body in a way.. Phew!

- Being kissed all over. Again.

- His partner flashing him. ... It was a lot different from the time he comes from. It's almost like a heart attack. Phew!

- Being able to take care of his partner after sex. Aftercare.. Sighs! Taking care of the mess and cleaning up and all! Hehe!

- His partner whispering naughty things in his ear.. Especially if you guys are infront of others.

- When his partner gets a bit handsy during one of the romance movies he'll play in the theater... Ohhhmy!!

Please enjoy ^^!! I don't have much for him being embarrassed, so !! >w<!

[tickety-boooo]

S1 final camera angle

Ok I literally JUST woke up for the day and this is what was in my brain: the gomens brainrot runs deep. I have to write it out and I shall from the coziness of my bed on a rainy morning :D This is gonna be a longish one!

Been thinking about this thanks to @vidavalor's post. As a fandom we know that Crowley and Aziraphale always position themselves the same way: Zira on the left, Crowley on the right (from our pov).

But wait! What about that final scene at the Ritz? It ends with a zoom-out of the two continuing their conversation: From Behind.

Why did they film this perspective? It's odd given that the rest of the scene is shot from the other direction. It breaks the 180-Degree-Rule, which is a "rule" in filming that prevents confusion for the viewer about where the characters are and what the action is in the scene. If there's an imaginary line between two characters, the camera cannot pass over that line when filming because then the pov changes.

This zoom-out is an example of a "Reverse Cut", it's literally the opposite of what we've seen for the rest of the scene. So why? They could have zoomed out from the table in the other direction, maybe sending the camera through the window for a cool effect.

This is shot this way on purpose. This is like a private viewing for the audience. We aren't in the audience's position anymore, we're in Crowley and Aziraphale's position. The two continue their conversation, which we cannot hear, so it's still a private moment for them even though we're getting a glimpse of it. I have to go back and watch again to really find examples but I think this is the scene that confirms the idea that when in private, Crowley and Aziraphale break their position rule (whether through them physically moving, or by way of the camera and how the scene is filmed), implying that it is something they do for public appearance. Like with this scene, they're still obviously sitting down and in the same place, but now the audience is welcomed into their pov for a moment. We are now part of the positioning outwards to others.

@vidavalor wrote about a footstool near the couch in the bookshop that would put Crowley on the left (in our pov), and that's one of the earliest scenes in the show between the two of them where they are completely in private. Here are some more examples I can think of off the top of my head/ what gifs I could find to use xD

Calling out specifically any time they're in the car; Aziraphale never drives, so Crowley is ALWAYS on the left (our pov), and it's always a private moment between them, no one else around. Look at the scene where they arrive at the hospital and how they get out of the car. They both specifically walk to re-position themselves on the "proper" side. (I can't find a gif of the whole bit but this scene here:)

This scene also has a brief bit where they switch positions again; they're reminiscing about a personal memory, 1941 and the magic show (even though the audience wasn't aware of it yet before s2).

Actually the whole bit at the hospital is very involved with camera angles (it would merit its own post at some point for sure.)

Calling out the Wall Slam™ Crowley on the left, Aziraphale on the right, UNTIL they are interrupted by someone else and the scene is no longer private, and the camera flips position for the rest of the scene.

Also Rome. Oysters. This one's odd, there are two very brief reverse cuts in this scene.

And lastly, this key shot of them going to their respective offices. This one stands out to me because it's not a "private" moment between them, but it shows that their "public" position matches how they have to arrive at Heaven and Hell. Aziraphale and Crowley actively go out of their way to position themselves relative to one another in public in such a way to face Heaven and Hell. And in this shot, we get to be a part of their pov. We get to be on their side.

[initialchains]

10 things i hate about you | anthony lockwood.

pairing: anthony lockwood x fem!reader

summary: george karim falls in love with your sister, and the only thing standing between him and the love of his life is the fact that she isn’t allowed to date unless you do, too. luckily for him, anthony lockwood would do anything for a bit of publicity.

wc: 5.8k (part one)

a/n: hii i felt so bad for leaving you all hanging, but finals week left me extremely burnt out and tired. luckily, the lockwood brainrot is neverending, so as a way of saying sorry here’s the first part of this silly ol’ fic. (including the first five things to hate about lockwood.)  i’m also super sorry for the next part because it will be 90% angst lol ++ this is inspired by the movie but not completely based on it bc it’s my all time favorite film and i was scared of not doing it justice.

Lucy swore she was going to quit the agency again if George didn’t stop pacing around the kitchen like an idiot. She kept thinking of things to say to get him to stop, but a part of her also wanted to see how long this pathetic situation in front of her would take, she knew it wouldn’t be long until their researcher got tired of walking back and forth. And that’s where she is now. Sitting in the kitchen, an empty mug staring back at her, while George kept pacing in front of her and Lockwood.

“Hey, George! I have an idea. Why don’t you sit down and tell us what’s going on like a normal person, instead of just muttering I’m so fucked over and over?” 

George finally stopped and looked up at her. He stood still for a few seconds before taking a seat next to Lockwood.

“Well, I’m fucked.”

“Yeah, I think we heard that part.”

“Luce, stop,” Lockwood said in the softest voice he could muster, before turning to George. “Do you want to talk about it? Maybe we can help.”

George took a deep breath before starting. “So, you know how I’ve been telling you both and Holly about that one girl from the archives?”

Lockwood smiled at that. The thought of George crushing on a girl after bonding with her about their love for research is still one of the cutest things he has ever heard.

“Oh, right. How are things going with her? Is everything alright?” 

“Well, sort of. I mean, everything is alright, but just when I thought of finally making a move on her, she kind of, um… dropped a bomb on me?” 

“A bomb? But you already knew she’s a Fittes agent, that’s not new.” Lucy stated. 

“Yes, I know. And trust me, there’s nothing wrong with that.” George continued, “She is the sweetest, most intelligent, beautiful human being to have ever lived. I mean it.” 

Lucy and Lockwood shared a knowing look. George was totally a goner for this girl.

“Then.. just ask her out?” Lockwood suggested, watching carefully as George fidgeted with the thinking cloth, now too shy to look at his friends.

“That’s the problem, I can’t,” George explained, before pulling his glasses away and rubbing his eyes. The stress of the situation clearly getting the best of him.

“Okay, this will probably be a stupid question, but.. why?” Lucy asked, genuinely confused by the problem her friend was going through. Sure, asking someone out is frightening, but it’s not like George was about to fight a type two without any kind of protection.

George took a deep breath before finally explaining. “She can’t go out with me unless her sister gets a date, too.” 

Lucy almost laughed at how stupid the so-called bomb was. “Well, ask one of her colleagues to woo her or something. She’s a Fittes agent too, right?” She suggested, remembering the only fact they knew about said sister. “She must know a bunch of people willing to date her.” 

George found the strength to look up, making eye contact with Lockwood and then turning to Lucy, before finally dropping the bomb on them. “I can’t, everyone at Fittes despises her.” 

Shit.

Lockwood and Lucy didn’t even have to think twice about who the sister in question was. There’s only one person who is loathed by every single Fittes agent, and surprisingly it isn’t Quill Kipps. George was talking about Fittes’ very own heinous bitch. (Obviously, the nickname was granted by the one and only Bobby Vernon. But to be fair, it’s not like he is the most reliable of people. Lockwood took note of that.)

Portland Row was silent for a few moments until Lucy finally spoke up. “Well, George. The world is wide, there will always be other people for you to fall for.” 

“Luce.” Lockwood warned her. 

“I’m trying to help!” 

“I know you are, but George really likes this girl.” He explained

“I think I might be in love with her. No, scratch that. I am in love with her.” George confessed in a small whisper.

“Oh, fuck.”

“Luce.”

“Sorry!” 

“I told you we would try to help, and that’s exactly what we’re going to do. Right, Lucy?” Lockwood looked at her, an unspoken beg passing between them. 

“Fine, yeah, we will. What do you know about her sister? Maybe we can find someone with the same interests as her. Like umm.. Holly? or the guy who sweeps the floor at Arif’s?” Lucy almost winced at how stupid their repertoire of options was, the three of them were friends with a limited number of people, and by limited she meant Holly and a guy who always greets them when they get something from Arif’s

George thought for a few moments about everything he knew about her. “I know she’s a team leader–” He couldn’t even finish his list, let alone his sentence, because before he could even continue, Lockwood stood up. 

“I’ll do it.” He said with a small shrug, almost as if it was the most normal thing in the world. 

A chorus of “I’m sorry?” and “What the fuck?” were heard at the same time, but Lockwood couldn’t bring himself to care. He wanted to do this. 

“What? You said you wanted someone to woo her. Right, Luce?” He explained as he took Lucy’s empty mug away from her and moved to the sink. 

Lockwood’s back faced them while he washed their used dishes. “Yes, but.. why do you want to do it?”

“It’s a win-win situation. If I go out with her, George will get to date her sister, and we will get publicity.” The way Lockwood explained the situation with such ease had Lucy thinking he had planned this beforehand.

“Publicity?” George finally spoke up. 

“Yes. You said she’s a team leader, which means she is important, and we also know she’s disliked by every single one of her peers, which means the press will be surprised to see her hanging out with someone. So, if we get photographed together, everyone will want to know what’s so special about the agents of Lockwood and Co. Which means–” 

“More cases.” George finished the sentence for him.

“See? It’s easy.” Lockwood, finally done with the dishes, turned around.

“No, it’s not. I think it’s a stupid idea. You won’t be using someone to get this agency more clients, are you insane?” Lucy stated, indignation lacing her words. 

“Hey, George. You said you were taking her sister out for breakfast tomorrow, how about we make it a double date?” He said with a bright smile, ignoring Lucy’s words. 

“Oh, um.. Okay.”

George was right, Lucy thought. They are so fucked. 

1- I hate the way you talk to me and the way you cut your hair.

“George, calm down. Everything will be okay, I promise.” Lockwood said, sending an encouraging look to the boy next to him. George was sweating, he didn’t expect your sister to accept the double date. He didn’t expect you to accept the double date. 

“I know. I even practiced a speech and everything, it will be alright.”

“You practiced a what?”

George wasn’t able to answer his question because right when Lockwood asked him, they were able to see two silhouettes standing outside of the café they were walking to.

“Oh, they’re here,” Lockwood stated plainly before walking up to them, George looking nervous as fuck next to him. 

Sure, George was a sweaty mess, but he knew this would happen. He even expected you to look at him with disgust in your eyes and say something along the lines of “I was dragged here against my will. Fuck you, Karim. You will never date my sister.” 

What he didn’t expect to see was your face painted with confusion. George was about to greet you with the long speech he spent the entire night workshopping, but before he could even mutter a word, you let out an exasperated sigh and looked George in the eye before you gaze slipped to Lockwood and then back to him. 

“What is it, asshole day? Why are you two here?”

Lockwood was about to open his mouth and answer your question, but luckily your sister spoke up just in time.

“I invited my two friends to have breakfast with us!” She said with a bright, almost angelic smile. George felt like he was in heaven just by seeing her. 

“I know about Karim, but why are you friends with Anthony Lockwood?” 

“Oh, so you’ve heard of me? Only the good things, I hope.” Lockwood said, his charming smile making a way to his face.

“Yeah, like the houses you’ve burned down, and how stupidly reckless you are to the point that you even got shot.” You stated, repulse evident in your eyes as you looked at the man of the hour. 

“It’s adorable how much you know about me.”

“Have you ever been to a psych ward? I can get you an appointment set and ready by tonight.”

“You want to see me tonight?”

George feared you might slit Lockwood’s throat with the way you were looking at him. “We should, um, get inside.” He said, trying (and failing) to break the awkward tension, guiding the four of you into the café. 

George looked at your sister and whispered into her ear “It’s not my place to assume but.. you didn’t tell her we were coming, did you?”

She gave him a shy smile before answering. “I want her to make some friends, and I think someone like Lockwood might help her come out of her shell.”

She looked so innocent that George wanted to break down crying and tell her all about Lockwood’s dumb publicity plan. This was eating him alive. 

You took a seat next to your sister in the booth George had reserved for the four of you. Lockwood smiled when he saw your eyes widen at the sight of him sitting right in front of you. 

“Karim, can you switch places with your friend?” 

“Why? Are you embarrassed I’ll see you blush whenever you look into my eyes?” 

“Have you ever been told that your hairline will recede by the time you’re 30 years old if you keep cutting and styling your hair like that?”  

“Have you ever been told that you’re incredibly beautiful?” 

Your sister had to place her hand over yours before you could reach for the knife placed in front of you by a waiter. Lockwood couldn’t contain his laughter at the look on your face.

“What’s so fucking funny, Lockwood?”

“Nothing. Don’t mind me, please continue with your insults. I relish being the reason behind your thoughts and words.” 

That was enough to shut you up. Your sister, George, and Lockwood shared jokes and stories while you looked down at your plate, the conversation flowing easily between them. Sometimes you’d look up to find Lockwood staring at you, he’d send you a small smile and try to include you in the conversation, but you didn't intend on giving him the satisfaction of getting you to speak, so you’d shut him down with an eye roll. 

The rest of the morning went by smoothly until your sister had the brilliant idea to tell you about her plans for the rest of the day. 

“You’re going to the archives with Karim.. alone? Just the two of you?” 

“Did you not hear her the first time, love?”

“Shut the fuck up, Lockwood.” You snapped at him, hoping your anger was enough to mask the blush rushing into your cheeks. 

It wasn’t. 

“Did I just make you blush?”

“You made me want to throw up.”

“Deny it all you want, but the pet name clearly had an effect on you.. love.”

“Ugh, whatever.” 

The four of you stood up and walked to the café’s exit, Lockwood opening the door for your sister and you. As soon as you got outside, your sister began to apologize for not telling you about her impromptu archives plan with George.

“It’s fine, I don’t mind. Just.. text me when you get there?” You said softly. Way too softly, Lockwood noticed. He had never seen you this vulnerable, maybe your sister was way more important to you than he expected. 

“I will. Promise.”

You said your goodbyes before turning around, planning on walking to your car, but the universe definitely wasn’t on your side today.

“Wait! I’ll go with you.” Lockwood said as he tried to catch up with you, matching the pace of your long strides. 

“I don’t know if you can tell, Lockwood, but I’m trying to get away from you.”

“What kind of gentleman would I be if I didn’t drive you home after our first date?”

“You’re not a gentleman, and that wasn’t a date.”

Lockwood pressed a hand to his heart, feigning hurt. “Ouch, not a gentleman? Thank god my mother isn’t here to hear those words.”

You finally stopped walking and turned around to face him. “What do you want?”

“To.. drive you home?”

“No, Lockwood. What do you want? You tried to include me in your stupid conversation earlier, then paid for my breakfast, opened the door for me, and now you want to drive me home. What the fuck do you want?”

Lockwood stayed silent for a while, just staring into your eyes. “I was trying to be nice to you, is that too hard to believe?” 

He took notice of how you looked away from his eyes and tried to keep your hands busy by playing with the hem of your shirt. 

You cleared your throat before saying, “Fine, but if you fuck my car up, I swear to god, Lockwood..” 

2- I hate the way you drive my car.

The car was silent the entire first half of the ride. Sometimes you’d catch Lockwood staring at you from the corner of your eye, but you never looked back, deciding that looking through the car window was a better sight. 

“You don’t talk much unless it is to deliver a well-crafted insult, huh?” Lockwood said, trying to break the silence. It wasn’t awkward, it was just.. tense. 

“Do you want me to talk to you?” You answered, slightly surprised by the fact that Anthony Lockwood of all people, wanted to have a conversation with you. 

“Yeah.”

“And what do you want me to say? It’s not like I know a single thing about you.” 

“You can say whatever you want, I don’t mind. I’ll accept it whether it is you cursing my entire bloodline, or you saying you’re deeply attracted to me.” 

The car came to a stop, a red light illuminating Lockwood’s sharp features. You hated to admit it, but fuck, Anthony Lockwood was attractive. 

“Me? Deeply attracted to you? Holy shit, did you fall and hit your head as a baby?”

“You so are.”

“Am I that transparent? Because you’re right. Oh, Lockwood, I am so attracted to you and your stupid fucking personality. I want you, I need you. Oh baby, oh baby.”

“You have such a beautiful way with words, love.”

That was enough to get a small laugh out of you. Lockwood kept surprising you, he didn’t back down after an insult or two, and he actually seemed to enjoy being indulged in them. 

He turned his head to look at you as soon as he heard you laugh, a smile adorning his face. A feeling of pride (and maybe something more) swelled in his chest.

“I can’t believe I just made you laugh for the first time and we’ve been on a date for about three hours now. God, I’m making such a bad first impression.” 

“You still won’t let the idea of this being a date go?” 

“Nope. I enjoy being on a date with you. You’re a nice person to hang out with.”

The corners of your lips curled up into a small smile. “You don’t mean that.”

“I do, I would rather take you out on a million dates than spend 30 minutes with any other person,” Lockwood confessed, and he meant it.

“Like you could find a person who would willingly spend 30 minutes with you.”

“Oh, see? That, there. Who needs affection when I have blind hatred?”

The two of you spent the rest of your ride home talking, the tension slowly evaporating, leaving room for the back-and-forth quips that Lockwood and you kept throwing each other. 

Lockwood stopped the car when he heard you say, “Alright, this is my house.” You were about to open the door, but before you could even extend your arm he said a quick, “Wait!” and got out of the car, rounding it to open your door.

“Thanks.”

“Anything and everything for you.”

Just as you were about to answer, a flash and the sound of a camera clicking disrupted the moment you were having. 

“You’re fucking with me”, you muttered under your breath. Lockwood looked surprised too, he had completely forgotten about his plan. 

Take her out for a few days. Get photographed together. Gain more clients.

His heart sank at the reminder of the reality of this situation. He had been so busy having fun with you, that his mind decided to blur out the reason why he was hanging out with Fittes’ most hated agent. 

“Alright. I should, um, go.”

“Do you want me to walk you to your door? Or is the first date too soon to meet your parents?”

“Fuck you, Lockwood,” You said with a smile.

“It doesn’t really seem like you want to.”

He found himself smiling, too. 

3- I hate it when you stare.

“What a fun coincidence to find you here, love.”

You rolled your eyes at Lockwood’s annoying voice. “Yeah, it’s such a fun coincidence that you almost burned this house down and my team had to come help your incompetent agency.” 

“Third time’s a charm.”

“There’s no way in hell you’ve been the cause of more than two fires.” 

“If you let me take you out on another date, maybe I’ll tell you more about them.” You almost stabbed him with your rapier. “Shut up, people might hear.” That brought a bright smile to his face and an incredulous look to his eyes.

“Oh, so you want to keep our relationship a secret? Fine, I’ll take it. I love a forbidden romance.” He whispered, the smell of lavender and lemon engulfing you as he kneeled a bit to whisper in your ear. 

“Yeah, whatever helps you sleep at night. Anyway, I need to go check out the paperwork for the mess you made, can you keep an eye on my team?” You shyly asked, breaking the eye contact he was desperately trying to keep.

“You trust me with your team? I thought my agency was incompetent and I wasn’t good at anything.” 

“It’s just for a few minutes, don’t let this get to your head.” 

“Oh, it’s way over my head, love.” 

You showed him a very special finger, before walking away to talk to Barnes. You tried to remain professional and listen to what the inspector was saying, but you couldn’t shake the feeling of a pair of eyes looking at you. “Sorry for calling you again, you know how it gets whenever Lockwood and Co have a case,” Barnes said, breaking you out of the cage your mind had trapped you in. 

“Oh, it’s nothing. It’s my pleasure to help.” You tried to muster up a small smile for the man, you liked Barnes, he never treated you differently, not even when the way you acted and decided to express yourself wasn’t the most appropriate. 

“And I think it's their pleasure to be helped.”

“I’m sorry?”

You turned around, following Barnes’ line of sight, only for your eyes to meet Lockwood’s. He gave you a small smile but didn’t look away, it was almost as if he longed for your eyes to make contact. You sent him a small frown, wordlessly asking him what was wrong, he just shrugged and waved at the two of you. 

“He is so weird.” You said, turning to face the inspector. “Tell me about it. Well, we are all done here. Have a nice night, and make sure to get home safely.” He answered, eager to get away from the group of agents surrounding him, and walking away. 

Lockwood didn’t miss a beat before making his way to you. “So, I’m thinking we make the second date happen over some tea at Portland Row?”

“Not happening.”

“I’m not one to make a woman feel uncomfortable when she says no, but may I ask why?

“I’d rather spend my time hanging out with ten type threes, than with the group of miscreants you call friends. No offense to Lucy and Holly, though. I quite like them. I was talking about Karim, tell that thing to stay away from my sister.” You answered, finally finding the guts to maintain eye contact while you spoke. 

“You know Lucy and Holly?” He decided to ignore your entire statement, now only focused on the fact that you knew his friends. Anxiety making its way through his body at the thought of Lucy telling you about his plan. 

“Yeah, and they told me some really interesting things about you. I never took you as the type of person to do that type of stuff.”

Lockwood’s heart almost gave out. “What did they say?”

“That you wear pink socks.”

He felt his heart start beating again. Lockwood thought he was about to die in front of you, he made a mental note to thank Lucy for being nice enough to not tell you about his schemes. He found the strength to give you a charming smile. 

“That surprised you? Lord, do you think I’m the type of guy to have a fragile masculinity? My mother raised me better than that.” 

“You mention your mother a lot, are you close with her?

They should give out awards for Feeling your heart stop two times in the span of 3 minutes because Lockwood was sure he would get one delivered to Portland Row’s doorstep by tomorrow morning. 

“I.. um, yeah.” 

Fuck. You made it awkward. You almost dropped down to your knees and begged him for forgiveness. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude into your personal life, it’s not my place to ask and assume shit about your family. I’m so fucking sorry, Lockwood.” The light in your eyes dimmed, the sight of it made Lockwood want to tell you all about his past. He wanted to go back to ten minutes ago when your eyes were shining and looking into his. He internally swore to never let the light leave them again.

“You’re good, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it.” He reassured you in a small voice, clearly not fine. 

“No, I will worry–” You couldn’t finish your sentence because, once again, the light of a camera flash illuminated Lockwood and you, blinding you both for a split moment. 

“Of course they’re here. Jesus Christ, do they not have lives? A family?” 

“Maybe they just like taking pictures of your beautiful face.”

The light came back to your dim eyes at his statement. “There he is.” You said, noticing how his gaze slipped from your eyes to your lips, before going back to the eye contact you had.

“What can I say? I can’t stop myself from complimenting you when you’re around.”

4-  I hate your big dumb combat boots and the way you read my mind.

The streets of London were quiet while Lockwood took a small walk in the early morning. Lucy told him if he walked around the city for a few hours, he’d be able to break in the new pair of combat boots she got him as a present after he made it through 10 cases without almost dying.  

“It’s 8 am and you’re already up being pathetic. I should say I saw this coming, but I really didn’t. Holy shit.” A familiar voice snapped him out of the daze he was in. He was so busy going through a list in his head of all the things he had to do this week, that he didn’t notice you walking next to him. 

“How long have you been walking by my side?”

“Long enough to see you staring straight ahead and not noticing how incredibly pathetic you look. Your boots are hideous, by the way.” You answered, looking into his eyes and noticing how he smirked at your last remark.

“I don’t think Lucy will be happy about you calling her well-thought gift hideous.”

You let out a genuine laugh as soon as he said that. It was the type of laugh that bubbled up from your chest and had you throwing your head back. It made Lockwood feel as if all the morning clouds had disappeared and the sun shone only on the two of you. Sure, you had laughed at Lucy’s gift, but the sound was enough to let the sun shine its warm rays through Lockwood’s heart. An infinite sunbathe.

“Oh, so you find this funny? Hurting my best friend’s feelings?” He asked in a teasing tone, squinting slightly at you.

“So.. I take it she didn’t tell you?” You asked, a small giggle escaping your lips and going straight through Lockwood’s heart. 

“Tell me what?”

“That our plan was to get you the most ugly, repulsive looking, and incredibly stupid boots that we could find? I wasted my money on that, you’re welcome or whatever.” 

He should’ve been offended. Offended at how Lucy wanted him to humiliate himself by walking through the streets of London with a pair of bright neon green combat boots. Offended that she had asked for your help to choose the ugliest pair she could find. But he was too busy fighting the urge to press his lips against yours and to run his slender fingers through your hair. 

Did you not notice how you always bit your lip after laughing because you thought that would stop you from falling into another fit of laughter? 

“Yeah, yeah, you two are so funny,” He rolled his eyes with a smile. “Thank you, love.” He was about to nudge you with his shoulder, but as soon as he turned to look at you, he noticed you weren’t next to him anymore.

His heart stopped for a second until he finally looked back and caught you staring at two women through a café window, clearly on a date. One of them gave the other a bouquet of different types of flowers and brushed back a strand of her girlfriend’s bright red hair. That brought a smile to your face. 

“Hey, you okay?” He whispered as soon as he stood next to you, noticing the sad smile on your face. 

“Oh, yeah. I was just..” 

You didn’t have to say a word for him to be aware of what you wanted to mention. The look in your eyes, and the small smile on your face.. this was the look you always got whenever you saw your sister with George. 

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” Lockwood reassured you. Not wanting to scare you off after seeing the look on your face and the small voice you used to answer. 

“Do you think I’m holding my sister back?” You asked, turning around to look into his eyes, your hands trembling a bit.

He didn’t miss a beat before taking hold of your hand and lacing your fingers together, giving your gentle hand two squeezes. “I think.. you care a lot about her, and that’s completely fine. But it is not your job to dictate what she can or can not do. It’s okay to let her have her freedom and life, just like you deserve to have yours.” 

You took a deep breath before pulling Lockwood into a hug, your arms surrounding his neck. Lockwood was startled for a second but didn’t have to think about it twice before wrapping his arms around your waist, letting you take the lead in this display of affection. 

“I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry? You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I know, but.. um”

“You don’t have to say anything, come on,” He said, breaking the hug and taking your hand into his, pulling you forward to continue the walk you were on.

5- I hate you so much it makes me sick, it even makes me rhyme.

Lockwood looked down at your intertwined hands, thinking of things to say to get the fog of sadness blinding you out of the way. “So you’re a hopeless romantic, huh?

“What the fuck?”

Alright, so maybe this wasn’t his greatest icebreaker ever, but at least it was something. He chose to continue. 

“Don’t think I haven’t noticed how you always stare at every couple we walk past. It’s kind of adorable. Fittes’ heinous bitch being a hopeless romantic? Sign me the hell up.”

“You’re sick in the head, Anthony Lockwood.”

“I didn’t think of you as a hopeless romantic, like.. at all. But I assume this means you’re the type of person who wants flowers and love letters delivered to her doorstep. Right?”

“No.”

“Sure, love. I’ll keep this in mind for future references.”

Lockwood made sure to walk you back to Fittes’ building after spending the rest of his morning with you, choosing to take the weird looks his boots got with pride and a bright smile. Whenever someone stopped him in the street he’d answer with a happy “my best friend and this beautiful lady next to me gave them to me as a gift”. 

You spent the rest of your day going back and forth through Fittes’ small yet numerous offices, talking to different people about your previous and next cases. Sometimes you’d stop to take a breather outside a door, but quickly remembered the importance of your role as a team leader, and snapped out of your seemingly neverending exhaustion. 

“Am I dreaming or is that my best friend in the whole world?” You turned your head to the right to find Bobby Vernon smirking at you, a dry chuckle leaving his lips.

“Fuck off, Vernon.”

“Woah, no need to get all pissy, love.” You clenched your shaking fists, trying to keep your anger in. You may have a short temper, but you would never let someone like him get the satisfaction of making you angry, or at least of noticing the effect his words have on you. 

The thought of someone other than Lockwood calling you by that pet name made you want to burst into tears. How dare they see you as someone who’s weak? After everything you’ve done and fought for to get the role you have as an agent? 

“I don’t have the time for your bullshit, so just spit it out and let me go home.” You said with an eye roll.

“Your sister wanted me to tell you that you got mail. Well, it’s more like a gift, I guess. I assume it’s from your parents because I can’t think of a single human being who genuinely likes you.” 

You knew better than to take his words to heart, but the venom he said them with stung. You knew you were unlikeable, probably even unloveable at this point, but he didn’t have any right to say those words to your face. It made you feel disgusting, you had to fight back the urge to throw up.

“Yeah, alright. Have a good day, Vernon.” You replied as you walked past him and out into the street, calling for a cab to take you home.

The ride back home was silent, and it surprisingly made you miss Lockwood. It made you miss his stupid jokes, his ugly haircut, and his reckless way of driving your car. You were sure the poor guy didn’t know what a stop sign meant. 

As soon as the cab driver got you home, you made sure to pay him and wish him a safe drive, after all, the curfew was 15 minutes away from starting. A sigh escaped your lips after opening your door and heading into your room. The day had left you completely worn out, and Bobby’s words didn’t help at all with the shit day you were having.

You quickly got changed and were about to head to bed when you noticed a package sitting in the corner of your room. A frown made its way to your face when your eyes caught the unfamiliar handwriting with your name on the box, curiosity taking the best of you as you opened the package with a delicate touch.

A gasp left your lips when you opened it and found the same bouquet of colorful flowers you saw the woman give to her partner at the café. A white envelope sat next to them.

With a small smile and shaking hands, you opened it and were greeted with Lockwood’s handwriting.

Hey, my love. 

I’ll be really honest and say that my mind is completely blank as I write this, but I just wanted to let you know that right after I dropped you off, I went to Arif’s with George and heard a love song playing — I couldn’t help but think of your hopeless romantic self as soon as I heard these lyrics: You’re just too good to be true, can’t take my eyes off of you. 

Jesus, I know you’re having a field day reading this. Me? Embarrassing myself and sending you a bouquet and a love letter? You’re right, I must be extremely sick in the head.

Anyway, I hope you have a good day. You deserve it.

With lots of love,

Lockwood. 

(PS: You don’t have to say it back! But I thought it felt right to say it since we’re kind of besties now.) 

The tears you spent the entire day holding back decided to come out right after you finished reading the letter. Sobs escaped your lips as you sat down in your bed, the flowers and letter still in your hand. A strange feeling bubbled up inside you, you didn’t quite know what it meant, but decided to guess it was that disgusting sickening feeling Bobby left you with. 

When you laid in bed and tried to go to sleep, you took notice of how different the feeling you were having right now was from the one you got with Bobby Vernon. Sure, this one made you want to throw up, too. But it also made you want to stare into Lockwood’s eyes again and to feel his arms wrapped around your waist for a few more seconds. You drifted to sleep with a craving of feeling Lockwood’s hand intertwined with yours for the rest of your life.  

[yeosangmaybe]

Hiiii :) This is my first fic on here :0 I plan to do a movie night with your best friend fic for each member but I’m open to requests :D there’s 3 parts but I put ‘em all on here bc I’m not tech savvy enough for that :( lemme know what you think :P

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

genre: female!reader x bestfriend!seonghwa, friends to lovers, mutual pining, fluff, chaotic group chat, yearning

warnings: no smut but alludes to arousal, kithing, mentions of food, brainrot

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Movie Night🎥

The dim glow of the TV screen flickered across the dorm’s cozy living room, the eerie silence stretching between the occasional jumpscares of the thriller film playing. Y/N and her best friend, Seonghwa, were nestled into the couch, a shared blanket draped over their laps as they sipped on sugary drinks and ate their favorite snacks,. Their sleepover tradition was well underway.

Just as the tension in the movie reached its peak, a sudden, masked figure lunged at the screen with a piercing shriek.

“AHH!” Y/N yelped, her body jolting in shock. In her panic, she lost her grip on the can in her hand, sending ice-cold soda spilling over her front.

“Shit!” She gasped, instinctively pulling the fabric of her soaked shirt away from her skin. The liquid seeped through the thin material, clinging to her torso in an uncomfortable, sticky mess.

Seonghwa blinked, barely holding back a laugh as he took in her horrified expression. “You okay?”

She groaned. “No, these are the only clothes I brought.”

He hesitated for a moment before standing up. “Hold on, I’ll get you something to wear.”

A few moments later, Seonghwa returned with a plain white t-shirt and a pair of his boxers, holding them out to her. “Here, you can change into these.”

“Thanks, Hwa,” she sighed, taking the clothes and making her way to the bathroom.

Once inside, she peeled off her damp top, but as she did, she realized the soda had soaked through to her bra as well. She grimaced. Great. She went back and forth on how uncomfortable it would be to keep it on before reluctantly unclasping it and tossing it onto the pile of her wet clothes. With a sigh, she pulled the oversized t-shirt over her head.

It fell loosely over her frame, but to her mild annoyance, it did little to conceal her chest. The fabric draped over her, but the way it hung left the outline of her figure… noticeable. Still, she figured it was fine, it was just Seonghwa after all. He was her best friend.

Slipping into the boxers, she stepped out of the bathroom, running a hand through her hair as she reentered the living room. “Alright, what do you wanna do now?”

Seonghwa didn’t immediately look up, too focused on his phone. “I dunno, we could-” He trailed off mid-sentence as his gaze finally lifted.

Y/N tilted her head. “We could what?”

Seonghwa’s brain short-circuited. Seeing her in his clothes was bad enough, the slightly oversized t-shirt on her figure, his boxers clinging to her thighs. But the moment his eyes flickered over her chest, his face went up in flames. The outline was way too visible, and it sent his heart into a frenzy.

His breath hitched, and he tried to look anywhere but at her. “Uh-um-w-we could, uh-” His voice cracked, and he internally winced.

Y/N frowned, noticing the sudden shift in his demeanor. “Are you okay?”

His ears turned red. “Y-yeah! Yeah, I just-uh- I’ll be right back!” Without waiting for a response, he scrambled to his feet and all but sprinted toward the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind him.

Once safely inside, he leaned against the door and exhaled sharply, running a hand through his hair. What the fuck was that?!

He grabbed his phone from his pocket and quickly pulled up the group chat, typing out a frantic message.

Seonghwa: Guys. Emergency.

Wooyoung: Did you finally confess?

San: LMAO what happened?

Seonghwa: SHE’S WEARING MY CLOTHES AND I CAN SEE EVERYTHING AND I THINK I’M GONNA DIE.

Yeosang: lol

Wooyoung: Wait, WAIT. What do you mean EVERYTHING???

Seonghwa: SHE’S NOT WEARING A BRA.

Hongjoong: Oh.

Yunho: Oh.

Mingi: Oh.

San: Oh.

Wooyoung: BRO LMFAOOO

Yeosang: You’re so down bad, it’s actually hilarious.

Seonghwa: THIS IS NOT FUNNY I NEED HELP

Jongho: yes, you do. the 72 hour hold kind of help, though

Yunho: you’re so cooked

Hongjoong: Just act normal. Hope this helps <3

Seonghwa: I’m going to blame you all for my joker era

Outside the bathroom, Y/N sat on the couch, utterly perplexed. She glanced at the closed door, then at his abandoned spot on the couch.

What in the world had gotten into him?

Part 2

Seonghwa took a deep breath, gripping the edge of the bathroom sink as he stared at his reflection. His face was still flushed, his heart pounding like he had just finished a high-intensity dance practice.

His friends were utterly useless.

Hongjoong: hwa being scared of boobs at his big age is sending me

Wooyoung: HAHAHA

Yeosang: Rip, Seonghwa. You will be missed

Mingi: just take your shirt off to assert dominance

Idiots.

He locked his phone and set it down, inhaling deeply. “Okay, Seonghwa, get a grip. She’s your best friend. You have literally seen her in a bikini before. This is fine.”

He exhaled.

“No, it’s not fine,” he muttered to himself. “She looks way too good in my clothes.”

He let out another groan, running a hand through his hair. But he couldn’t stay locked in the bathroom all night. That would be way more suspicious than just trying to act normal.

Act normal.

Another deep breath. He straightened his shoulders, rolling them back. “Okay. You got this.”

With that, he turned the knob and stepped back into the room, doing his absolute best to seem composed. Y/N was still sitting on the couch, scrolling through her phone, her legs crossed.

She looked up when she heard him return. “Hey, you okay?”

He gave her his most neutral, totally normal, not at all struggling expression. “Yeah. Sorry about that, I just,” he hesitated, scrambling for an excuse, “felt a little sick for a second.”

Her brows lifted. “Oh, do you want me to go? I don’t mind-“

“No!” His response was way too fast, and he immediately winced. “I mean, it’s not that serious. I’m fine now.”

She studied him for a second before shrugging. “Okay, if you say so.”

Thank God.

She scooted back against the cushions, getting comfortable. “So, what now?”

Seonghwa hesitated for only a fraction of a second before moving to sit beside her, keeping his eyes firmly on the TV, not on the way his shirt was stretched across her chest. You will be normal. You will be fine.

And as the next movie started playing, he convinced himself that if he just focused hard enough, he might survive this sleepover after all.

…Maybe.

Part 3

The movie had been long forgotten, its flickering light casting soft shadows across the room. Neither Y/N nor Seonghwa had planned to fall asleep like this. Normally, one of them would take the floor or the sofa while the other took the bed. But exhaustion had crept in silently, and now…

Well, now they were very tangled up in each other.

Y/N stirred first, her body snug against something warm and firm. She hummed contentedly, not yet fully aware of her surroundings. The weight around her felt so nice. She felt safe, comfortable, at ease, until her still-sleepy mind finally registered why she was so comfortable.

Her breath hitched.

Her leg was thrown over Seonghwa’s lap.

His arms were securely wrapped around her waist.

Her head was nestled against his chest, rising and falling with every slow, steady breath he took.

And worst of all?

Her shirt had ridden up precariously high.

Her face instantly burned, eyes flickering down to confirm her very compromising position. Oh god. She should move, fix her shirt, do something. But the warmth of his body, the way his arms fit so naturally around her, the feeling of his arm against her bare skin, made her hesitate.

She shouldn’t like cuddling her best friend this much.

But she felt like a cat in sunlight right now.

Because she had been harboring a crush on Seonghwa since the moment they met. And this? This just brought those old feelings rushing back at full force.

Just a little longer, she reasoned with herself. Who knows if I’ll ever get the chance again?

She let herself sink back into his warmth, inhaling his scent, savoring the way he held her even in sleep.

Then, she heard it.

A sharp inhale of breath.

Seonghwa was awake.

She knew it instantly by the way his body stiffened. She peeked up at him, careful not to let on that she was awake, and that’s when she saw it. His jaw was tight, his lips parted as he exhaled slowly, like he was trying to control himself.

Because, oh, this was bad.

Having Y/N, his best friend who had been unknowingly tormenting him all night, draped over him was already a problem. But the fact that it was morning made things a hundred times worse.

His fingers twitched against her back. His breathing was uneven.

Think of something else. Think of literally anything else, he begged his brain, willing his body to not react to the way she was pressed against him.

He pleaded with any higher being that could hear to help him not react to her exposed midriff. Her bare skin only separated from his own by the thin fabric of his sleep shirt.

Moving carefully, he reached for his phone with one hand, typing out a frantic message in the group chat.

Seonghwa: SOS. ACTUAL EMERGENCY.

San: Again???

Yeosang: Bro, it’s 8 AM.

Mingi: Did she take the shirt off too?

Wooyoung: No way. What’s happening?

Seonghwa: SHE’S ASLEEP ON ME. IT’S BAD. I CAN’T MOVE. HELP.

Y/N could see his messages.

Oh my god.

Her heart hammered in her chest as her eyes flicked back and forth between his texts and the messages from last night.

He was attracted to her.

She barely had time to process that revelation before she heard soft footsteps.

The door creaked open slightly, and a groggy, disheveled Wooyoung walked in.

Seonghwa almost sighed in relief. Finally.

Wooyoung blinked at the sight in front of him, taking in Seonghwa’s desperate expression and Y/N, still feigning sleep against him.

A slow smirk spread across his face.

Then, he simply chuckled and muttered, “Bro’s cooked,” before turning right back around and leaving.

Seonghwa stared in disbelief.

“Wooyoung!” he whisper-yelled.

Wooyoung was already gone.

He groaned, throwing his head back against the pillow in defeat. Useless. Absolutely useless.

He hadn’t noticed Y/N subtly mouthing get the fuck out to Wooyoung before he left.

Which meant he also wasn’t expecting it when Y/N finally lifted her head, looking him directly in the eyes.

His breath caught in his throat.

She was awake.

She had been awake.

And she had seen everything.

His face flushed a deep crimson, and he wished, wished he could disappear right then and there.

But before he could even try to stammer out an excuse, before he could even begin to figure out how to explain why he was reacting this way, Y/N moved.

And then, without warning, she pressed her lips against his.

His mind went blank.

Static. Sparks. Every single thought in his brain came to a screeching halt.

She was kissing him.

And it felt so good.

Seonghwa’s breath hitched, his arms instinctively tightening around her. She was warm, soft, everything he had ever wanted but never let himself hope for.

When she finally pulled back, her breath was heavy, her eyes searching his as if trying to gauge what came next.

Neither of them spoke.

Neither of them knew what to say.

Then…

His phone started buzzing like crazy.

He fumbled for it, his hands shaky with nerves, eyes scanning the flood of new messages.

Wooyoung: OH MY GOD THEY KISSED

Jongho: please don’t get any more fluids on the couch

San: what position are y’all in now

Yeosang: Wow. Rip to the slow burn fans. Wait… stop creeping on them you freak

Wooyoung: I prefer the term supervising

Hongjoong: ??? Should I be alerting the authorities

Mingi: Are you still alive? Blink twice if you need help.

Yunho: NO MORE FRIENDZONE. W IN THE CHAT

Wooyoung: WWWWW

Jongho: W

Mingi: W

San: W

Yeosang: yeah im not doing that

Hongjoong: is this what the kids would call w rizz

Jongho: oh my god someone get peepaw back in his bed

Seonghwa groaned, dropping his phone onto the couch.

Y/N, on the other hand, just giggled.

And, despite everything, despite the absolute chaos of the morning, he couldn’t help but laugh, too.

[baseballmomlesbiandad]

Random QL Superlatives/Favs 2k24

I've been shuffling around these QL streets for a few years now but I typically stay in the shadows and lurk on everyone else's wonderful meta, gifsets, and discussions. This year, I thought I should take a step into the light and reveal a little bit of my heart for y'all. Thanks for keeping me laughing and crying throughout 2024!

Top-tier cuddling award

OonMay, Pluto the Series

May’s neck is the perfect spot for Oon nuzzles. I get her, I wouldn’t ever want to move from that spot, either. For a series that has the first meeting between the leads start with a passionate kiss, it isn’t totally surprising to me that they can rock a cuddle but the sheer amount of time these women spend in May’s bedroom gives us many an opportunity to see them comfy in bed together. Namtan and Film seem so comfortable with each other and I’m really looking forward to seeing them in more GL’s in the future (give me Girl Rules NOW).

Runner up: At 25:00 in Akasaka

Hayama and Shirasaki didn’t have the opportunity to share a bed much in the show (well, as much as OonMay) but when they finally got together and cuddled in the afterglow, I was gobsmacked by this shot. I think ‘Tattoo it on my eyelids’ was my specific response.

The year of tattoos, the best and the worst

Best: Reverse 4 You/4 Minutes

I’ve gotta make this a tie because while Bible’s thigh tattoo in 4 Minutes is particularly popular throughout the community (and I agree!), I went weak in the knees when they showed Christine Gulastree’s tattoos during FourWa’s first hookup. That line all the way down her spine? Idk about y’all but I immediately started drooling. Wa you are so lucky. Christine, are you free this thursday

Worst: The Heart Killers

Oh Kant. Buddy. The tattoo near his wrist was literally smudged. Please, y'all. 

Honorable tattoo mention: Jack & Joker

Listen, most of Joke’s prison tatts are ridiculous but luckily for me, I’m into that shit. I will be getting at least two of Joke’s tattoos permanently placed on my body. No regerts. You’re welcome to guess which ones.

Best kiss

Hotae and Donghee, The Time of Fever bedroom kiss

A year filled with great kisses! But I know from other lists that I'm not alone with this pick. This show was my most anticipated of the year since Donghee and Hotae caught me hook, line, and sinker in Unintentional Love Story. The moment that show ended, I wanted more of them. And then they did give us more (and premiered it on my birthday, no less) and they didn’t disappoint!! Especially by giving us the bedroom make-out with that immediate change of tension in the air when Hotae fed Donghee the orange and touched his lips; Hotae fully shaking with desire and begging to be kissed again; a heater in between them!! the breathing sounds!!! Won Tae Min is such a delight to watch, a great actor in all of his projects and Do Woo is so pretty and holds his own against Tae Min. I love them. I still want more. Give us the sequel to ULS, cowards!!! 

Best almost kiss

X and Namping, Every You, Every Me

Though later in this list I continuously sing praises about Top Piyawat's beauty, the reason why I'm so hung up on this almost kiss really goes to Mick Monthon here. X wants it sooo bad. He is struck stupid by being this close and held this tender by Namping and if I were him, I would simply perish on the spot. I truly loved this show while it was on, had complete brainrot about it, and this storyline in particular fucking ended me (affectionate).

BL Characters that shove me back down the Kinsey scale a la Jin Guangyao at Carp Tower

Tharn from The Sign

via @guzhufuren

IRL I typically self-identify as a lesbian (but like *shrug*) however, every now and then I become infatuated with one of these BL boys and Tharn really did a number on me. I mean c’mon. Babe babygirl Thanatat playing this tiny, feisty, sad, gorgeous man. The mole(s). A snake princess of indiscriminate gender. She is everything to me. He was the moment. Remember when he was so horny that he tried to smother Phaya to death? Obsessed with everything about him. BillyBabe continue to torture me. I don’t think I need to explain further, many of y’all were right there on the crazy train with me.

Namping from Every You, Every Me

I thought no one could tempt me like this after Tharn but then Top Piyawat came in with the steel chair that was Namping in episodes 3 and 4 of Every You, Every Me. What I loved particularly about this show was the dominance swapping between storylines and there’s something so sexy about someone being able to lean into both his feminine and masculine qualities so masterfully (Mick does a good job with this, too). Namping was BEAUTIFUL, his shoulders and slutty tops made me absolutely weak to my knees. I have rewatched these eps multiple times even though they make me snotty cry bc I just can’t get enough of X and Namping. And in the next eps the way Top had me thirsting over him as a fuckboy musician who never wears sleeves? He should be in jail for that. Anyway, Top, will you be my wife.

Most Sensual Pasta Making

At 25:00 in Akasaka

This show had me by the throat while it was airing and I can’t fully explain why other than I tend to feel this way about certain Japanese BL’s with a blonde and brunette pairing (Candy Color Paradox was not a great show but I was obsessed and still don’t know why)—having two nickels, etc., etc. Anyway, the gnocchi making? It was hot, what the hell. As someone who moonlights as a fresh pasta vendor at a weekend farmer’s market, this scene was specifically made for me. As an aside, I didn’t watch My Love Doesn’t Have Long Beans so if they sensually make pasta in that and aren’t just violating OSHA regulations all over the kitchen then I’m sorry!

screenshot via @my-rose-tinted-glasses

Silliest character that had me in stitches of laughter

Shiba Ryoma in Love is Like a Poison

The amount of times this man had me laughing out loud is in the 100s. It’s the stark contrast of his straight-laced, deadpan, almost robotic personality with his silly quirks and impossible-to-hide reactions, especially as Haruto comes onto him more and more as the series progresses. Highlights include every time he has a ‘gay seizure’ as @guzhufuren coined, his knees buckling when Haruto starts sweet-talking his plants, throwing the napkin in ep 4, literally every single thought that crosses his mind eps 1-4, when he tries to make AI Clippy be his 101st partner, the PICTURES, and so much more. The actor who played him, Shogo Hama, gave me everything and Haruto and Ryoma as a couple had me crawling up the walls, particularly in the first few episodes.

Runners up: Ishida in Mr. Mitsuya’s Planned Feeding and Qian in Unknown (Chris Chiu!!)

GL woman I would follow around on my knees for the rest of my life if she asked

Pat, Unlock Your Love

Cake Nawanine. A beautiful brat who knows exactly what she wants, which is that hot soft butch tattoo artist, and will fight all of her evil ex-girlfriends to prove her love. Deane is truly wild for continuing to fumble this absolute goddess of a woman, but what can I say, Deane is basically the Thai equivalent of a ‘hey mamas’ lesbian. Even so, their make-out scenes together were scorching and Pat’s flirting game was top-tier. I had a lot of fun with this little show and will continue watching series with B Mine and Near if they keep making them. And Cake! Please come back to my screen, I love you, I WILL treat you right. 

Thank you @khaopybara for sustaining my lust and love by being one of the few people making beautiful gifsets of my girl.

Most surprising chemistry between an already beloved pair

JoongDunk in The Heart Killers

Hear me out!!! I enjoyed Joongdunk in Star in my Mind and Hidden Agenda and I even thought their intimate scenes and sex scenes in both were pretty good. I was not prepared for The Heart Killers though, like I am really blown away by them as Fadel and Style and they are quickly rising to be one of my favorite branded pairs. I’m sorry it took me so long to recognize real!! As someone (probably a few) mentioned on here, I came to The Heart Killers mainly for FirstKhao, my loves, but am sticking around to see JoongDunk and what else these absolute psychos have in store for us.

Most used show tag that automatically populates first whenever I make a new post on tumblr dot com

The Sign the series

This makes sense because I was unhinged about this show and Babe, in particular. Thank you Saint Suppapong for giving us feral idiots exactly what we want, which is total nonsense, hot hot hot chemistry, and beautiful men wearing dresses. I’m glad I spent the end of 2023 and the beginning of 2024 with this show and I feel very much the same way about The Heart Killers for this year.

Blorbo(s) from my show(s) i.e., characters I have imprinted on like a duckling

I already gushed about Namping, love of my life, will not elaborate more or we’ll be here all week.

Hayama from At 25:00 in Akasaka. I love a quiet yearner, that’s no surprise, but something about Hayama in particular really resonated with me. It’s the LWJ effect, I think, someone who seems to not emote at all on the surface but is really a storm of feelings underneath and Kiita plays it so quietly and intensely. His backstory episode was so good I watched it again immediately after finishing it the first time. Hayama’s friend telling him that Hayama has so many walls up that even he himself doesn’t know what he’s thinking or what he wants? Ooof that hit right where it hurts. 

Mole Goddess possessing the teacher in Caged Again. All of the actors that get to play the Mole Goddess look like they’re having so much fun but her in particular had me rolling with laughter when she was first introduced, looking at herself in the mirror and practicing scolding students to get into character. What a diva. Who is this actress?!

Way from Pit Babe. I know this show started in 2023 but I binge-watched the show a week leading up to the finale in February and was assaulted by the purest pathetic energy of anything I’ve ever seen radiating off of Way. My morning commutes were hell until i took on this endeavor and it was one of the best decisions I made this year. I could not control my laughter on those crowded train cars, I did not care how crazed I looked. Way, you are everything, RIP to the realest (bc allegedly only Way’s lookalike is coming back in season 2?!). Thank you, Nut <3 

Style from The Heart Killers. Again, this is another one that i don't need to explain. I am similar to Fadel in that I like his cockiness...and his lips. Also Style is named appropriately bc i want, nay NEED, his entire wardrobe (and dorito looking ass body).

Other shows this year that have left a mark on me:

Takara no vidro, Ayaka is in love with Hiroko, Fangs of Fortune (not a BL but queer as hell), Love for Love’s Sake, Love in the Big City, 23.5, Cherry Magic TH, Deep Night, Wandee Goodday, Monster Next Door, Let Free the Curse of TaeKwonDo, The On1y One, See Your Love, Dead Friend Forever, Twins the Series, Petrichor

Shows I didn’t watch/finish but have on my list

The Trainee, The Affair, The Loyal Pin, My Stand-In, and probably a lot more, there was so much this year and I'm still catching my breath. If you have any recs for me, i welcome them!

Special shout-out to those who probably see me pop up in their notifs always, particularly @absolutebl, @heretherebedork, @guzhufuren, @respectthepetty, @waitmyturtles, @negrowhat, @yinwaryuri, @lurkingshan, @bengiyo, @spicyvampire, @pharawee and many more. thank you for all you create for little ole fans like me!

Looking forward to what 2025 brings us!

[squirrellypoo]

30 years ago today I saw “Interview with the Vampire” at a mall movie theater somewhere in rural Pennsylvania and it forever altered the course of my life.

Not to be overly dramatic, but seeing the film made me seek out the books, and as I devoured all four (at the time!), it completely opened up my world view from my sheltered rural upbringing. It made me strive to escape, and believe I was destined for something greater. That I could endure and do better.

It was probably inevitable that these characters would become my lifelong favourites - take a girl with Transylvanian heritage, give her a blood disorder, get her reading Dracula in elementary school and exposed to toxic gothic romance as a preteen (Phantom of the Opera!) and it’s no wonder Louis and Lestat became permanently etched into my psyche.

You can draw a straight line between my love for the film and moving abroad at the first opportunity. Love of the film, books, and now tv series has brought me to some of my closest lifetime friends - in 1995, in 2002, and again in 2022. Friends I made 30 years ago, spending late nights discussing every detail, are still friends today.

I took this opportunity to dig through old photos today to find ones where I was re-enacting vampire scenes with friends, or having the poster on my wall at uni, or dressing up as a vampire at Halloween. Sadly I couldn’t find photos from my original 1995 Halloween vampire costume, or giving my speech on vampires in high school English class, or of me wearing my original film teeshirt, so you’ll have to imagine those.

I’ll never be someone that moves from fandom to fandom - for me, this has always been The Fandom, even when Anne Rice herself made it really hard to be an Anne Rice fan in the early 2000s.

I can only hope to enjoy 30 more years of this brainrot in my future. 🥂

[malewifeharem]

celebrity!danheng IL

彡- ,, a collection of my brainrots about dating danheng as diff types of celebs!

cw ⁞ none unless ur allergic to hot rich dragon fluff. not proofread.

an ⁞ i put my whole badussy into this from 3 am till 8. i wasnt gonna write so much for my first post but ehe.

imagine dancer!danheng who lets you join him during dance practice. you sit quietly by the side while you keep your eyes on his sweaty, concentrated form. the song he chose blasts in the background and his sneakers squeak with each of his movements. he's dynamic, powerful, sexy and everything you could ever dream of.

sometimes he worries that you'll get bored (as if) so he glances at you occasionally to check on you. the way you flare up in embarrassment at his sharp gaze is just a bonus. you really question how you managed to woo a water dragon twice your age (dilf?) but you try not to think about it too much.

he mutters a breathy "thank you, treasure," as you hand him his bottle. he doesn't realize you smiling like an idiot as you watch him replenish himself, your eyes once again locking in on your boyfriend's ethereal features. his slick-backed hair falls across his face as he tips his head back, revealing his crystalline eyes — divine, tranquil and pure, just like a river — much like his love for you.

imagine author!danheng who dedicates all of his time writing about his one and only muse — you. in fact, he's been writing about you for lifetimes now — in every new lifetime you two share together, he vows to devote his time to only you. when he's writing, he reminisces about your past dates together and pieces his heart and memories together and masterfully fits it into a vessel. once he's done, he proudly sends it to the publisher and patiently awaits the day he can show the finished book to you.

"how do you like it?"

he asks as he curls into you closer while cuddling (aw im gonna eat him i swear), eager to hear your opinion. Although he knows you adore whatever he writes, he still wants to see the way your eyes crinkle as you shyly giggle at the parts you recognize from your own dates. he wants — no, needs — to engrave the sight and sound of you in his mind so he can write it in his next script.

god forbid if anything happens to you. after inviting you into his life, he finds himself unable to write any angsty or tragic stories — he wonders why.

imagine actor!danheng who invites you as an exclusive guest to the film set. he's currently filming for a romance drama which involves him and another actress acting out a couple of lovey-dovey scenes — nothing more than that. that's what you tell yourself as you cringe, your brain conjuring up an image of another woman kissing him outside of set. you push your seething jealousy aside till you're both back in the dressing room. he doesn't miss the way you refuse to look him in the eye as he casually discusses dinner plans with you.

"what's wrong, darling? if this is about my acting during filming, i'll reassure you once more: whatever happens on set, stays on set."

he gently tips your chin up so you're both looking eye-to-eye. he relishes in seeing you all pouty for him, he can't help but chuckle when he observes the slight glossy look of your eyes — they hold a possessive, feisty glint in them that pulls on his heartstrings in the perfect way. he sighs sweetly before pulling you in for a warm hug, his tail coiling itself around your figure — caressing your back and relieving whatever doubts and worries you held before.

"let's create our own scenes tonight, my love."

[tddyhyck]

i have jaemin brainrot 🥴

need some pov of jaem's gf with him 🙏

YES DIVA ,,, i think there’s a jaem virus lately we’re going through it with him 🥺🥺🥺

idk if u want hard or soft so i’m going to do a little of both

don’t u guys just think jaem would be so soft and charming like the first date he’s just doing that stupid warm smile and getting to know u and actually wants to talk about u and not himself ,,, feeds u some of whatever he ordered bc he wants u to try it ,,

and he’d be like such a gentleman the sweetest peach to everyone your family is OBSESSED with him constantly talking and asking about him probably more than they ask about u lol

buT he’s a freak when it’s just the two of u ,,,, has dinner with your family then fucks your throat in the car still in the parking lot ,,, probably turns u into a horny deviant for him just no thoughts only him fucking u and teasing u GOD HES A TEASE ,,,

and he is so good at humiliating and degrading u 🤤🤤 just the most condescending shit coming from his pretty lips calling you a pretty whore or dumb princess Yes ,,,

he would love teasing u making u wear a vibrator while u shop or sneaking into the dressing room with u ,,, bc he needs to see the items u want ofc no other reason def doesn’t fuck u press against the mirror or anything ,,, also lovE watching your cunt take him watching you stretch around him just gets him off ,,,

and loves to show his strength lift u and bend u and manhandle u ,,, like just piggybacks u everywhere squeezing your thighs while he walks and just listens to u yap in his ear

has u send him videos and pics while he works out and he will send a video of him at the gym moving his shorts and letting his cock out for a just a second ,,,

loves to film you two ,,, like to the point where he buys nicer cameras and sets tripods up and keeps a little handheld one ,,, then spends hours editing and edging himself ,,, before he shows h the final product and he makes u sit between his legs so he can touch you and has h ride him facing the screen so u can watch his cock sliding into you ,,, yUMmy

probably loves breeding you ,,, telling u how he’s gonna get u pregnant and fill you with his babies ,,,

[howthebestwaslost-blog]

Not a single coherent thought in my brain, but here are a few jumbled ones. Loooooong post. Long long long post.

Lots of spoilers for Lux after the break.

Spoons

Is that just a coincidence? In Lux, the spoon reflects the moonlight, allowing Lux into the world and to possess Mr. Ring-a-Ding. In The Devil’s Chord, Maestro appears on several reflective surfaces while the spoon falls. In both cases it seems to help the pantheon member enter this universe. But then Empire of Death: It’s the metal of the spoon that lets the Doctor connect with the time window, does that mean it allows him to re-enter the universe?

Tooth and Claw reference

“You’re seventy percent water, but you can still drown.” (Tooth and Claw)

“We’re sixty percent water and we can still drown.” (Lux - got a bit dehydrated along the way?)

But already in the cold open: “No. Don’t give me sunshine. Because I’m more interested in moonlight. That icy cold beam of heaven. Touching my soul and bringing me life.” (Lux)

“You burnt like the sun, but all I require is the moon” (Tooth and Claw)

The Devil’s Chord parallels

Both Ruby and the Doctor get dragged away and lifted into the air and have their core/soul/energy drained in a confrontation with a god.

Belinda’s dad is “kind of musical. Well, he sings. Well, he loves grabbing the microphone. He’s awful. And he makes me laugh so much.” I’m sure there is absolutely no connection to Mr. Ring-a-Ding/Lux’s repeated “don’t make me laugh”. Yep.

Why is the start of Roman Paradox (Series 5 soundtrack) playing a few seconds later? We hear The Sad Man With A Box later with the fans, where it makes sense, but why here already?

Is all of the episode a trap like the fans’ living room? Who does the Doctor say cut to? When the letters fall from the cinema’s billboard, how does the Doctor know it, standing inside (and did he know that “The Harvest Bringer” was not a real Rock Hudson film)? He’s not surprised that Mr. Ring-a-Ding has an audible soundtrack, but he already mentioned in The Devil’s Chord that he himself can hear non-diegetic music.

Obligatory Timerogue brainrot:

The London Regency Orchestra? “I am the last thing you see before you fall into the abyss”? “Find me”?

Is this the Doctor’s repressed guilt/loss/sense of obligation leaking into the story? Is something or someone trying to reach out? Maybe someone who was initially fictional, a trap like the fans, but decided to help him instead?

And lastly (this is probably silly and I don’t even have a theory, but the Doctor mentioned the bi-generation for the first time since The Giggle a while later, so my coincidence-tingle tingled)

Anyway.