#still does so i finally gave u- and took ibuprofen

[eebie]

i had a dream i was at walter white’s house and walter and jesse were there and they wr3e fighting like REALLY going at it and i was just standing there staring at the stove because the stove was still on n i was just waiting for everything to explode. If you think about it it has a l0t of significance in regards to their relationshi and i think a3t. Some point jesse started chasing me around with a gun and then he stalked me for the rest of the dream. Cos id be like walking around late at night and i;d see his silhouette and once hed realize id spotted him he’d bolt

[fruitcoops]

If you’re up for more of a series could you possibly write the part of Remus recovering at home after leaving the game (the one with the stick to the face) and Sirius having to take care of him and all that?

Yes, I can! I’m so glad you guys are enjoying the continuation of something I wrote so long ago <3 Side note: I would give my left foot to be part of the Lions groupchat. Sweater Weather credit goes to @lumosinlove!

TW for bruises and blood

Sirius was worried. Even though Remus claimed he felt fine, he was just fine, everything was fine, a small seed of doubt lingered in the back of his mind. He had dozed off in the car on the way home—Sirius’ heart had stuttered for a moment before the swelling-enhanced snores started. His phone lit up every few seconds, but he didn’t dare take his eyes off the road for even a millisecond, just in case.

Remus woke when the car stopped and immediately winced. “What’s wrong?” Sirius asked, taking the hand that rested on his thigh.

“Just hurts.” Remus kissed his knuckles as best he could. His skin felt strange, and the edge of the tape was an unfamiliar sensation next to the softness of his lips. Sirius collected their gear from the trunk, then helped him up the front steps; just as he went to unlock the door, he felt Remus’ hand tighten on his forearm. “I hate not being able to see well.”

Sirius kissed his temple. “That’s what you’ve got me for.”

Hattie stopped in her tracks as soon as the door opened, and Remus frowned. “Hatters? Where are you, sweet girl?”

“She’s here.” Sirius whistled for her and crouched, setting their bags aside while Remus sat crosslegged on the floor and held his arms out. Hattie’s tail wagged low, almost as if she was afraid; she glanced up at Sirius, who tilted his head back toward Remus. “Go on, mon chou, he’s not going to break.”

“C’mere,” Remus said softly, shifting in her direction. “C’mere, babycakes. I need some cuddles right now—there we go. Okay, Hat Trick, okay.”

Sirius carefully closed the door as Hattie climbed into Remus’ lap and let him hug her, resting her chin on his shoulder. “Good girl,” Sirius said softly. A quiet sniffle led to a flinch. “Re? What’s wrong?”

“I fucking love our dog.” His voice sounded even more clogged than before.

“Are you alright?”

“It really hurts.” A shuddering breath made Hattie nuzzled closer. “Hey, good girl. I love you.”

Sirius sat down next to them and wrapped his arm around Remus’ shoulder, tracing a pattern with his thumb. “Deep breaths. You can take more Tylenol in a few hours. Let’s go get some ice, yeah?”

“Can I stay here with her?”

“Of course.” Sirius kissed the top of his head and gave Hattie a gentle pet before walking into the kitchen and grabbing an ice pack out of the freezer, as well as a towel to wrap it. The last thing Remus needed was a freezer-burned bruise. They were in the same position when he came back, though Remus raised his head from her thick fur when he heard him coming. “I’m going to put it on your face, okay?”

“Okay.” Remus sighed when the ice pressed against his eye and one hand came up to cradle Sirius’, running carefully down to his wrist. “Love you.”

“I love you, too. I was thinking about making some soup if you want to hang here for a bit.”

Remus nodded silently, though his lower lip wobbled in the one spot it wasn’t puffy. Sirius carefully transferred the ice pack to his hand and ran his thumbs over Remus’ cheekbones—usually they were sharp enough to cut glass, but now they were purple and overheated under his touch. He kissed each one before going back to the kitchen.

After grabbing some soup from the freezer and turning the stove on, he finally took his phone out. You Have: 20 New Messages

Message From: J ;)

Did you get home safe?

Call me when u can

Lil is worried ☹

Tell Re we send big hugs

 Message From: Tremz <3

Lmk when you get home

Leo is making soup for u

Bringing it over demain matin and won’t let us have any :(((

 Message From: Bliz

Nat sends her love for Re

Remember ice packs and NO IBUPROFEN DUMBASS

Ily

 Message From: Dumo

Sa mère est inquiète

Send text when home safe, love you

 Message From: Walkie Talkie :P

U okay? Sending lots of love

Lmk if you need soup or smth <3

 Message From: Hope <3

Thank you for the call honey <3

Tell Remus not to look at his phone and keep us updated please

Love you so much <3

 Message From: Baby Rookie

I’m bringing y’all soup and that’s a threat

NO IBUPROFEN OR I’LL TP UR HOUSE

Big hugs for Re <333

 Sirius laughed under his breath.

Message To: STANLEY CUP CHAMPS FUCK YES

Home safe. Re is fine, getting lots of cuddles from Hattie. Thanks for the messages.

 He sent a few more texts to the individual people and, after a quick conversation with Hope, stirred the soup until it began to bubble. Remus entered the kitchen a few seconds after he took two bowls out of the cupboard. “Smells good.”

“It does. Are the lights bugging you?”

“Nah. At least I can see.”

Sirius poured out two portions and set one in front of Remus, handing him a spoon as well. “Careful, it’s hot.”

The corner of his mouth twitched. “Can’t cook it cold.”

Sirius’ phone began to ping several times in rapid succession and he turned the ringer off quickly, checking the screen to make sure there wasn’t an emergency. “Leo’s bringing us soup in the morning.”

“Neat. Is everyone else okay?” Remus blew the steam off his spoon.

“The guys are all worried about you.” Sirius glanced back up, only to see Remus staring down at his soup bowl, frozen in place. “Re? Sweetheart, what’s wrong?”

“Is this my mom’s?” he asked in a small voice.

Sirius wracked his brain. “…I think so? It was in the freezer. Is that okay?”

He nodded silently and a tear dripped down his cheek. “ ‘s fine.”

“Are you sure?” He reached across the counter and pressed Remus’ hand between his own, wiping his cheek dry.

“God, I miss them. You called her, right? To let her know I’m fine?”

“I did. She told me to give you something.”

Remus’ eyebrows drew together and he looked up. “What?”

Sirius scooted around the table and wrapped his arms around Remus, pulling him in for a tight hug and pressing his face into his curls. “This.”

“Thank you.” Remus went a little boneless against him. “I needed that.”

“I bet. Do you want me to give them another call so you can talk to her?”

Remus squinted at the clock. “It’s pretty late.”

“They’re still awake.”

“Could we?” Remus dug around in his pocket and handed it to Sirius, who dialed Hope’s number and put it on speakerphone.

The call connected on the first ring. “Hello?”

“Hey, mom.”

“Are you okay, love?” Hope sounded like she was on the verge of tears already. “You sound a little funny.”

“A little banged up, but I’m alright.” Remus gripped Sirius’ hand tightly. “We heated up the soup you left us.”

“Oh, I’m so glad. Have you taken any Tylenol? Ibuprofen is bad for bruises, but I don’t know how much pain you’re in.” Her voice hitched at the end of the sentence.

“Mom, it’s okay,” Remus said gently. “It’s okay, I promise I’m fine. It looked worse than it was.”

Looks pretty bad to me. “Hestia took really good care of him,” Sirius said instead. “We got home safe and we’re icing up now.”

“What’s the healing look like? Sirius said you didn’t have a concussion.”

Thank you, Remus mouthed before turning back to the phone. “About two weeks, mostly for the little scrapes.”

The ‘little scrapes’ were held together by strips of medical tape, but once again, Sirius kept his thoughts to himself. “The blood was just a regular old nosebleed and a cut on the lip.”

Hope paused and they heard a new voice in the background. “Alright. Is it okay if Jules and your father say goodnight?”

“Yeah, totally.” Remus sniffled and Sirius silently handed him a tissue.

The line crackled for a moment. “Re?”

“Hey, buddy!” All trace of pain and exhaustion disappeared from his voice. “How’s it going?”

“Are you still bleeding?”

“Nope, my nose is a-okay. I’ve got a pretty cool black eye, though. Kinda look like a pirate.”

“The announcers were saying you were really hurt.” Jules’ voice wavered and Sirius’ heart broke a bit.

“Well, they were wrong.” Remus leaned closer to the phone, as if he could reach right through it. “In two weeks I’ll be good as new. I was really lucky.”

“Okay,” Jules still sounded unsure. “Mom says I have to go to bed.”

“Yeah, it’s late, buddy. Sleep well. I love you.”

“Love you, too.”

There was a rustling noise. “Remus?”

“Hey, dad.” The exhaustion returned and Sirius rubbed his back gently, letting him lean on his shoulder.

After a moment of hesitation, Lyall sighed. “Alright, they’re in the other room. What actually happened?”

“High stick from the Ravens caught me in the face. No concussion, just bruises and swelling.”

“Do I want to ask Sirius to send me a picture?”

Remus winced. “Probably not.”

He sighed again. “I’m sorry we can’t come out and see you.”

“Don’t worry about it, dad,” Remus said softly. “Really, I’m okay. It sucks, it hurts, I’ll ice it and be fine.”

“Sirius, are you there?”

“I’m here.”

“If he starts pulling some ‘go back to practice early’ bullshit—”

“Dad—”

“—don’t let him. If you have to lock him in the bathroom, I promise to cover for you.”

“Yes, sir,” Sirius laughed.

Lyall chuckled on the other end as Remus groaned. “Love you.”

“Love you, too. If Sirius locks me in a bathroom, I’m citing you in the court case.”

“There won’t be enough witnesses if he does it right. Sleep well, kiddo. Thanks for calling.”

“Love you,” Remus said again as the call ended. He blew out a long breath and leaned his forehead on Sirius’ chest. “Thank you for that.”

“Ne rien, mon loup. You should eat and then take a shower.”

“Are you saying I smell?” Remus teased.

“Yes, I am. I also think you’ll feel better if you do.”

They ate in silence; both were hungry, so it wasn’t long before Remus walked carefully up the stairs. Sirius checked the groupchat as he poured himself a third bowl of soup. You Have: 7 New Messages.

Message From: STANLEY CUP CHAMPS FUCK YES

DETAILS CAP

That is the blandest fucking response I’ve ever read

I’m guessing y’all are alive then???

Y’all

Haha y’all

Ok gator boy

Give Hattie lots of kisses from us and also GIVE US DETAILS

 Message To: STANLEY CUP CHAMPS FUCK YES

What do you want to know??? We got home, ate soup, called parents, and now Re is showering

You’re so fucking nosy jfc

Also cut Rookie some slack it’s hard being so far from his swamp

 Message From: STANLEY CUP CHAMPS FUCK YES

From the bottom of my heart, go fuck yourself.

He doesn’t have to he has Remus

Pots I’m going to remove your kneecaps

 Sirius paused just before responding. Despite the quiet of the house, he couldn’t hear the shower running. “Re?”

“Up here.”

“Did you take a shower already?”

“Not yet.”

The bathroom door was ajar and the light was on when he entered their bedroom; Remus stood at the sink, staring into the mirror as he felt along the edges of the butterfly tape at his lip. “Did something happen?”

“It’s worse than I thought.” Sirius stepped inside and joined him, staring at their reflections. The stripes that marked the stick’s edges had turned almost indigo since they left the rink; no less than six pieces of tape decorated the places between mottled bruises. Remus reached up to touch his cheekbone and Sirius guided his hand back down.

“Poking it won’t help.”

“Two weeks, huh?”

“That’s what Hestia told me.”

“Will you help me get the tape off?”

Sirius patted the edge of the counter and Remus pushed himself up on it, leaning forward for easy access. The first one was easy—a small cut just below his brow. It slid away without an issue and Sirius pressed a gentle kiss to the spot, then moved on to the next one. They fell into a rhythm—one side, second side, slow pull, and a kiss, until only two were left.

Remus hissed in pain as he lifted the edge of the tape across the bridge of his nose and Sirius shushed him softly, moving to the other side. “Two more, sweetheart.”

“Just rip it off.”

Sirius gave him a look. “Absolutely not.”

“I’ll do it.”

“No, you won’t, because that would be a stupid idea.”

Remus huffed, but didn’t protest. His jaw ticked as Sirius pulled the last bit off. “Can we leave the lip one?”

“Not unless you want an infection.”

“You’d be a good PT.”

“I would be the worst PT.” Sirius worked the inner edge free. “I know, like, ten stretches and basic first aid. My bedside manner sucks, too, and I’d pass the fuck out if someone asked me to set a bone for them.”

“Good points all around,” Remus laughed.

The motion pulled the last of the tape off and Sirius held it up with a grin. “All done. Hey, your swelling is down. I can see your eyes now.”

The slight gleam of amber brightened as Remus smiled. “I thought I could see a little better.”

“Do you want company?”

Remus thought for a moment, prodding the cut on his lip with his tongue. “As much as I’d love to invite you in, I think I need a second to myself.”

“Cool.” Sirius kissed his cheek and stepped out of the bathroom. “Yell if you need anything. I’ll be in bed.”

He made a pit stop downstairs to gather Hattie and bring Remus’ ice pack up, and by the time he finally slid between the sheets it was nearly midnight. Remus came out of the bathroom a few minutes later, looking happier but still incredibly worn out. He took another Tylenol and snuggled up against Sirius’ side with a quiet hum, laying the ice pack over his face once again.

“Sleep tight, Re.”

“Love you.”

[hopelikethemoon]

Stircrazy (Javier x Reader) {MTMF}

Title: Stircrazy Rating: PG-13 Length: 2300 Warnings: Angst Notes: You can find everything about Maybe Today, Maybe Forever here. Set November 1991.  Summary: Javier grapples with his feelings after Reader was shot. 

@grapemama​​ @seawhisperer​​ @huliabitch​​ @beccaplaying​​ @rogrsnbarnes​​@thewallpapergoesorido @twomoonstwosuns​ @gooddaykate​​ @livasaurasrex​ @ham4arrow​​@plexflexico @readsalot73​ @hdlynn​​ @lokiaddicted​​ @randomness501 @fioccodineveautunnale​  @roxypeanut​​ @snivellusim​​ @lukesrighthand​​ @historynerd04 @mrsparknuts​​@synystersilenceinblacknwhite​ @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead​ @exrebelshocktrooper​@awesomefandomsunited @ah-callie​​ @swhiskeys​​ @lady-tano​​ @u-wakatoshii @space-floozy​​ @cable-kenobi​​ @cool-ultra-nerd @himbopoes​​ @findhimfives​​ @pedrosdoll​​ @frietiemeloen​​@arrowswithwifi​​ @random066 @uncomicalhumour​ @heather-lynn​ @domino-oh-damn​ @cyarikaaa​​ @ahopelessromanticwritersworld​​ @im-still-a-pieceofgarbage @ksgeekgirl​​  @yabby-girl​ @xqueenofthecraziesx​​ @punkass-potato​ @coredrive​​ @pascalesque​​@theduchessofkirkcaldy @queenquazar​​ @sabinemorans​​ @buckstaposition​​ @holkaskrosnou​​@yespolkadotkitty​​ @fleetwoodmactshirt​​ @seeking-a-great–perhaps @kochamcie​​ @jaime1110​​ @katlikeme​​

Javier couldn’t remember a span of time in the past five years where he hadn’t looked up from his desk and seen her sitting across from him. 

He knew where she was — logically, he knew she had been in the hospital and now she was home resting. All her shit was still on her desk, right where she’d left it that grim day. He knew she’d be back, but it still didn’t sit well with him to see an empty desk. 

She could’ve died. There was so much fucking blood and she had looked so frail laying there, bleeding out on the blacktop. 

He’d seen death. He’d caused death. 

Javier wasn’t certain he could’ve coped with her death. If her desk was vacant because she was gone. He’d tear the whole fucking drug industry apart with his bare hands.

It shouldn’t have gotten to him as much as it had. Steve was worried, like any friend would be, but Javier was devastated. 

And clearly it was obvious that he was fucked up, because he’d already had to sit through half a dozen meetings with the director. They could tell he was off his game. Wouldn’t anyone be if they’d seen their partner almost die?

At least he tried to convince himself that he’d feel this same way if it had been Steve instead of her. 

The second the clock struck five, Javier was on his feet and pulling his leather jacket one.

“Hot date?” Steve questioned, tucking his pencil behind his ear as he looked up from the report he was combing through. 

“Nah,” He shook his head, keeping his face as neutral as possible as he met Steve’s gaze. “It’s been a couple days and I thought I’d swing by and check out—“ He nodded his head towards her desk.

Steve’s brows rose upwards, “You know, Connie asked me to check in on her today. These files can wait until Monday.” He stood up and tossed the pencil back on his desk, grabbing his own jacket. “I’ll come with you.”

Javier tried to mask his disappointment — because there shouldn’t have been any. This weird feeling he felt for her wasn’t a welcome one. But seeing her like that had uncorked the bottle of emotions he felt and he didn’t know how to stuff it all back in. 

He cared about her and he knew it went beyond the lines of friendship. If Steve hadn’t shown up when he did that day — he might’ve confessed his stupid fucking infatuation, right there as she bleed out in his arms. 

But he was the same fucking idiot who hadn’t called her in three days. He’d been there when she got discharged and then—

“You good Peña?”

He shrugged, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Yeah.”

The ride over to her apartment was unnecessarily tense. Useless chit chat about work, the bullshit meetings with the director, and where Javier was headed after they left her apartment. 

In the stupid scenario he’d come up with that morning, he’d pictured himself unwinding with her on the sofa, watching telenovelas and… nope. He wasn’t going to let himself go down that path. 

Whatever he felt was just his brain over-compensating from the shock of it all. There was no them, beyond being friends and partners. 

It wasn’t like she’d called him over the past three days. It clearly wasn’t like that for her. 

Steve leaned against the wall beside her apartment door, while Javier knocked at it. It took her a minute, maybe two before she answered — and the look on her face made it worth it.

“You asshole!” She shouted with a laugh as she swung the door open. “You gave me a fucking heart attack.” She hobbled forward without hesitation and threw her arms around him. 

Javier curled an arm around her, running his hand up and down the length of her back. “Hey hobble horse.” He murmured warmly, inhaling deeply as he savored the moment. 

“Oh, fuck you.” She laughed, punching him in the arm. 

“How are you feeling?”

“Better now,” She said as she pulled back, grinning at him. “Much better now.”

Steve cleared his throat and she whipped around, “Steve!”

“Look at you up and around.”

She pulled away from Javier and moved to give Steve a quick hug too. It didn’t linger the way theirs had. And he hated himself for even comparing the two. 

“I’m so glad you assholes finally decided to come visit me.” She remarked, looking towards Javier then. “I fucking miss work.”

Javier chuckled, “If I’d known you were missing work that badly, I would’ve brought you a stack of paperwork to sort through.” His brows rose upwards as he spotted the gun she had tucked into her waistband. “Expecting a different type of company?” 

She bit down on your bottom lip, nodding your head towards the apartment. “Come in, we can talk.” She looked towards Steve, “Both of you. Please come in.” 

“Don’t worry, I didn’t think you were gonna leave me out here in the hall,” Steve offered with a good natured laugh, following them into her apartment. 

“Sorry it’s a mess,” She made a face, gesturing around the apartment m. “I haven’t really been up for cleaning and shit.” She grabbed up two empty beer bottles, hobbling into the kitchen to throw them away. 

“You know you’re not supposed to be drinking with the meds you got sent home with.” Steve cautioned, hands on his hips as she returned from the kitchen. “Am I going to have to tell Connie?”

Javier tensed as her gaze darted towards him warily. She was chewing on her bottom lip, trying to look unaffected as she hobbled over to the sofa, flopping down and propping her leg up on the coffee table. “The Percocet makes me feel like shit, I’m not taking it.” 

“Popping ibuprofen instead?” 

“Steve.” Javier warned — he didn’t know about her past, not the way he did. 

She shrugged casually, shutting the TV off. “Ibuprofen does the trick.” She rubbed her hands together as she looked between the two men. “So, what compelled the two of you to swing by? On your way out for a drink and wanting to rub it in?”

Steve scratched at the back of his neck. “Javier mentioned that he’d be coming by after work so I thought I’d tag-along.” 

“Oh,” She nodded, looking at Javier as he perched himself on the arm of the sofa. His teeth were clenched together so tightly, he could feel the way his muscle ticked under the pressure. “I thought he’d lost my number after I got discharged.” 

“Ha. Ha.” Javier snorted, shaking his head as he drummed his fingers against the arm rest. “It’s been fucking hell at work.” 

“He’s had about four-dozen meetings in regards to the shooting,” Steve admitted, sinking down into the armchair across from them. “You should be glad you’re out for the time being. You’ll get to avoid all that bullshit.” 

“I’ve had two calls with the director,” She revealed with another shrug. “And I’ve got to go through a psych eval before I’m even allowed back in the field.” 

“Shit.” Javier’s head snapped to look at her, his brows drawn together. “When do you think you’ll be back?”

“After the new year probably,” She chewed on her bottom lip. “They, uh… I don’t think they want me back until I’m fully healed.” 

Steve whistled, “Damn.” 

Javier was still staring at her, “Two months? Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Unfortunately, I’m not joking.” She sank back against the sofa, rubbing at her thigh just above where the wraps were. “I’m gonna go fucking stircrazy.” 

“If you took your pain pills, it would help.” Steve pointed out and Javier shot him another look. 

She nodded slowly, “I’ll get right on that.” 

Javier cleared his throat, “So what have you been doing to keep from losing it?” 

“Sleeping until ten, watching novellas, and I’m thinking about trying a new cookie recipe every day.” She laughed quietly, “I’ve already lost it.” 

He clicked his tongue against his teeth, “Well, stircrazy looks good on you.”

“I’m flattered.” She retorted, gesturing to her hair. “I call this the rat’s nest. I haven’t showered since I got out.”

“Why not?” Javier questioned.

“I’m not supposed to get the wrappings wet and I haven’t had it in me to do a kitchen sink hair wash yet.” She made a face, “Should’ve warned you before you hugged me.”

He shook his head, lowering his gaze to the floor, “It’s all good, baby. I think you get a free pass.” Javier was hyper aware of the fact that Steve was staring at him. “I’m just glad you’re up and moving.”

“Yeah, well… I want back in the office sooner rather than later.” She grabbed the remote again. “You wanna watch something?” She looked towards Steve then, “We can work on your language skills.”

Steve shook his head, “I've gotta get home to Connie.”

“Right.” She nodded. 

“And Javier and I came in the same car,” He gave him a look, an unspoken warning. 

Steve had a point. Even if it wasn’t ever verbalized. 

This was a dangerous game and he wasn’t about to go down that path. 

“So you did come here to rub in the fact that I can’t go out,” She snapped her fingers. “Aren’t you both real friends.”

Javier pressed his tongue to the inside of his cheek and looked away, “Sometimes plans change.”

It was probably for the best that Steve had decided to tag along — otherwise, Javier had a feeling he would’ve been tempted to take advantage of the situation. To use that strange bond that was formed after a near-death experience. He had wants that were solely centered around her and he had to let them go. 

He scratched at his cheek, tilting his head to look at her then, “I didn’t tell you where I was gonna go after. I’m not rubbing anything in.”

She hummed skeptically, “Yeah, whatever.”

“I think Connie’s planning to bring by a casserole tomorrow.”

“Ohh. Well, maybe the three of you could come over tomorrow and we can have dinner together or early lunch.”

Javier rubbed his thumb over the crease between his brows, sighing heavily. “Yeah, maybe. I might have plans.”

“Alright, then Steve and Connie can just come over.” She corrected with a slight edge to her voice that made something wither and die within him.

Goddammit. He should’ve just fucking called. Then he wouldn’t have to sit there feeling like an idiot for caring. 

Caring too much. 

Javier dragged a hand over his face before rising off of the arm of the sofa, “Steve’s right, we probably should get out of your hair.”

She frowned as she met his gaze, but it was a fleeting expression that was replaced with a grimace as she hauled herself off the sofa. 

“You don’t have to get up—“

“I want to.” She huffed, letting Javier help her up off the sofa. Her fingers curled around his forearm for support, her touch like a fire that burned him. 

“Just don’t hurt yourself.” Steve retorted, arms folded across his chest as he watched the pair of them. 

“Not planning on it,” She retorted with a thumbs up, releasing her hold on Javier. “Thank you for coming. Both of you.”

Javier gave her a faint smile, “I’ll call.” 

She nodded, looking away from him then. “Not gonna hold my breath.” 

“I’ll let you know about tomorrow,” Steve told you, winding his fingers through his hair as he started for the door. “I’m sure Connie will want to come over.”

“You’re both more than welcome.” She told him, hobbling on her bad leg as she followed them to the door.

“You never mentioned what the gun was for,” Javier pointed out, stopping a few feet behind her. 

“If you called you’d known,” She shot back without hesitation. “I’m not stupid. I know I should be watching my back.”

Javier sighed heavily, “I’m sorry—“

“Don’t.” She shook her head as she pulled the door open. “You have nothing to be sorry for, Javier.”

Javier lingered in the doorway, staring straight ahead at Steve in the hallway, before he turned back towards her. “I’ll call you tonight, alright?” He worked his jaw slowly as he looked down at her. 

“I’d like that.”

“You have a good evening, now.” Steve drawled out, cutting into the moment and dispersing whatever new tension has formed there. 

“The Past Does Not Forgive has been on every night.” She told Javier as he lingered in front of her, “I’ve been dying to hear your thoughts on it.”

Javier chuckled, “I think Esteban should cut his losses and get the hell out of that situation.”

She laughed, “Oh, he’s a fool blinded by love.”

“Aren’t they all.” He shoved his hands into his pockets, glancing back at Steve who had propped himself up against the wall — watching them. “I should go. Take care of yourself.”

“I am.” She reached out and gave his arm a squeeze. “Thank you again.”

“For what?”

“Being there.” She pulled away and took a step back, shutting the door between them. 

Steve cleared his throat, “You good, man?”

Javier shrugged, “Seeing your partner get shot fucks you up.” He said dryly, “Don’t get jealous. I’d be just as torn up for you.”

He fished a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket, sticking one between his lips and lighting it up. “That’s horse shit and we both know it.”

He bummed a cigarette off Steve, lighting it up and taking a drag. “I don’t know, I think if we lost you it would throw this whole shit show on its head.”

“Good thing I’m not leaving.” Steve said a little too quickly.

[dalishwolfhound]

LONG POST but I'm on mobile so I cant do a cut sorry!

So I keep seeing people's experiences of top surgery and realising that I never shared mine? I think it's useful for people to know how widely different people's experiences can be, because hoo boy there's a lot of variation.

I had double incision surgery privately with Mr Yelland in Torquay, UK, October 2019

So I was admitted on the day at 7am and was taken to a private room that was mine for the duration. I was told then that my surgery would be around 10.

I knew beforehand that I would be staying 1 night and that Mr Yelland did not use surgical drains.

I saw Mr Yelland at like... 7:30 for him to draw on me

And then saw a couple other nurses/HCAs who took my food orders, and the anaesthetist who asked me basic medical questions like had I been poorly recently etc.

Then I was ushered into bed in my hospital gown and a nice nurse put some VERY tight stockings on me.

Everything was so chill and well run my anxiety was very managable, even though waiting is the WORST. Then at 10ish and VERY attractive orderly came and got me. They wheeled me down through the corridors in an entire hospital bed all the way to theatre and THEN I was allowed to get up and walk like 5 paces onto the room adjacent to theatre.

A very nice man with a fantastic moustache (i told him) introduced himself as Mr Yellands surgical assistant, and they got me lying down on the table in the room so the anaesthetist could sort out the canular for my anaesthetic.

One of ny fondest memories is of a female nurse who had accompanied me down to theatre acting as a human tourniquet and s q u e e z i n g around my arm so the canular could be inserted.

(It hurts a bit but it's fine)

Seriously everyone was just so chill and just getting on with stuff it was hard to be panicky or anything! The good moustache man told me that my arm would feel warm as the anaesthetic went in (it did a bit) and told me to think 'good thoughts'. I remember laughing at how ominous that sounded and then distinctly remember the anaesthetic hitting my brain and being like 'oh yeah there it is'. Then I thought of a vine.

Then I woke up! There were two very cheerful cute nurses on either side of my bed when i woke up, and I dont remember much of what I said or anything but I distinctly remember thinking I was VERY lucid when in fact i was VERY not.

I waved to people as I was wheeled back down the corridor back to my room, and the only thing that hurt AT ALL was the center of my chest just a little bit.

My stay after that I think I documented in a very hazy state on here, but the main things are:

When they say drink lots they mean it. I felt fine but my temperature was high until they finally managed to get me to drink enough water

The post op binder got real uncomfy real fast. It was basically like wetsuit material and it started to roll around my ribs.

That first night was MISERABLE I wont lie. Sleeping was so difficult since i had to be propped up, and the binder was HELL and arguably the most painful part of that whole night.

I was sent home at around 10 the next morning, with painkillers (codeine) and anti-inflammatories (ibuprofen) and instructions on excercises I should be doing right from the get go.

I spent the next few days at home, in bed as much as I needed but also downstairs. My chest was sore, but truly the worst thing from this period was the lower back pain from sleeping propped up.

Number one advice for this: get a memory foam V pillow, a travel neck pillow, and as many other pillows as you can. The V pillow was a lifesaver for being propped up.

By the following monday (5 days later) I was taking short trips outside, but I got VERY tired and winded easily. In this time I had to wear the post op binder 24/7 except the brief time we (mum and I) had to take it off to make sure my dressings were dry (they were). Putting the binder back on is AWFUL and truly miserable.

I had my post op 6 days after surgery, and was told I didn't have to wear the binder anymore (phew!). Weirdly however not wearing the binder made me WAY more stressed about my new chest because suddenly there was no support, and understandably my mobility suffered a bit because I was reluctant to stretch as much as I had been in the binder.

(But I continued with my excercises religiously and had full mobility back in like 6 weeks)

I was instructed to put tape (like.. dressing tape it seemed like) over my incisions to keep them supported and here is a big warning:

GETTING THIS TAPE OFF SUCKS AND IS TRULY THE ONLY TIME I PANICKED AND CRIED DURING THE WHOLE EXPERIENCE. The tape stuck to the scabs and when I was removing it pulled some of them and got me bleeding. Which does really bad stuff to your brain when you're bleeding from a 24" incision across your chest.

But I survived! The first shower after surgery (6 days) wasnt the relief I'd hoped for, but every one after that got better. I recommend washing with the tape on and peeling it off when it's wet.

HOWEVER it will probably leave a hellscape of tape residue that the adhesive wipes WILL NOT touch and when I finally took the tape off for good it took me 45mins and NAIL VARNISH REMOVER to get off as much as a could and it still wasnt all of it.

(I have two permanently ruined teeshirts that gave tape residue on their inside from the days after that.)

I'm currently around 4 months post surgery (February) and I've been back at the gym for about 4 weeks. I've slowly eased back in, but strength and mobility is coming back fast.

So yeah, that's my experience!

[5sos-imaginations]

Could u maybe do a kidnapper Michael & it’s like when u were younger you and your friends never spoke to him so he wanted to kidnap and make u love him & the truth is u loved him the whole time (even when u were younger) your friends just didn’t let u speak to him

AN Requested by tumblr user: @mk15x  . This is loosely based off of once upon a time, one of the stories anyway. So if it seems familiar, that’s why. Also hello ???? It’s been nearly three years since I’ve been here???? I’m working the graveyard shift at work and I’m bored, so I came back to these. Also I miss creative writing. Also I’ve come back to my ATL imagines as well. If you wanna check that out. Lmao. guess I’m back ???

Warning: alcohol mention

Your POV

It was Friday night and my friends had just told me that they were going home. I groaned at the thought of being left alone, I wasn’t done yet. Why they had to leave already was beyond me, but I wanted to stay and party. I was busy dancing against some dude’s boner, and I had worked hard to get him like this, I wasn’t about to go home just yet.

“Alright, you guys go home without me!” I called, waving from the dance crowd. They turned around and broke the most sacred girl rule ever: never leave a friend behind. I was drunk, I wasn’t thinking clearly about all the things that could happen to me. All the things that were bound to happen in a room full of men on a dark Friday night. I wasn’t planning on going home with this man, I hope he knew that.

At about 2 A.M. the bar was closing and people were getting ready to go home for the night. I waited for my friends to show up because in my drunken state I had forgotten that they had already left.

“Alright, miss, it’s time to leave,” one of the bouncers told me.

“I’m w-waiting for my friennndds,” I slurred.

“I’m sure they already left, everyone’s gone.”

“Ohhhh. Right.” I nodded and hopped off my stool to go and hail a cab. Usually cabs waited close to bars at this time to catch rides. I was on my way to find one, when I saw a figure staring at me from down the sidewalk. My arms flew up to my shoulders to shield myself from the cold. In my drunken stupor, I thought I’d go check it out.

I squinted my eyes at the figure and stepped forward to get a closer look. “Hello?” I called out. I looked around, and everyone else had gone home. “Who are you?”

The figure said nothing, and it didn’t move. There was something oddly familiar about the posture, but I couldn’t remember. I wasn’t sure I could remember, even sober.

It finally moved and I took a step back in surprise, but when I caught my footing, it had disappeared. I shrugged and turned towards the street. I was sure that at some point a taxi would come pick me up. I stared at the barren street as it remained to be just that. Someone was definitely coming to get me, it’s not like they could leave me out here. Could they?

I heard faint breathing behind me and felt the warmth of their breath. I didn’t want to turn around to confront it. Maybe I had been imagining it. I stared hard at the continuously bare road with no one around. I saw a hand appear behind me from nowhere and started to stagger in an attempt to run away, but I was too drunk to do anything worthwhile. There was someone behind me, and it was too late to get away now. The hand covered my mouth and then another came around from the other side of me pinched my nose. I was out within five seconds.

When I awoke, I was in a cold damp room. I didn’t see anyone around, and by now most of the alcohol had worn off. I was still wearing my party dress, but it hadn’t been touched, so I don’t think I was taken for a sexual reason. At least I hoped so. I pushed myself up and looked around. My head was killing me, and I had no concept of the time. There were no windows, there were no doors. Only this room, and a small light that hung on the ceiling.

“Comfortable?” a voice asked from wherever he was. I was finally able to make out his figure, though faint, in a dark corner. He had the same posture as the figure from last night. It was a vague memory, but I distinctly remembered the posture. I wasn’t chained and I wasn’t tied up, but I felt uncomfortable, so I didn’t respond to his question. He let out a soft menacing chuckle. “Good.” I looked around the room for any other sign of life or previous capture and found nothing. “Don’t bother screaming,” he spoke. “The room’s soundproof.”

I squinted hard at the figure to try and make out who he was. His voice gave me an eerily familiar shiver, like I’d heard it before in different contexts. I started to get up, but my head started pounding and I fell back down to a sitting position.

“Here, your head must be killing you.” He slid a tray over to me, and for a split second I caught his appearance. Then it clicked. I knew who he was.

“Michael?” I coughed out. My throat was dry from the night before, and my headache wasn’t helping matters either.

“Not important,” he spoke as he stood up. He walked toward me, and I could finally see that it was, indeed, Michael Clifford, a boy from my past. My longest and most passionate crush I ever had. I may have dated throughout my adult life, but no one had ever come close to what he meant to me. We may have seen each other in the halls and we may have had one class together, but the feeling inside me he ignited was not a small one, and not one I could ever forget.

“Why?” was all I was able to make out.

“Also not important. Eat your eggs, love, I don’t want them to get cold.” I looked down and he had given me two ibuprofen for the pain and some scrambled eggs with milk. Hangover food. At least he was a thoughtful kidnapper. I took the ibuprofen and started to shovel the eggs in my mouth with the fork he gave me. I looked back up at him.

He smiled and turned away, back up the stairs to where I assumed he lived. I sighed and continued to eat my breakfast. When it was done, I was feeling better - hangover-wise anyway, though  I was cold, since I was in my outfit from last night. I sighed and looked around at my new place. It was dark, and a little cold, but not unbearable. I laid down on the ground and sighed. I guess this was my life now. I closed my eyes and thought back to when I knew Michael in high school.

***

“Did you see the new kid?” one of my friends, Martha, whispered to me.

“Yeah, he’s kinda cute, right?” I smiled back.

“Cute? I mean I guess, if you like that sort of thing. Look at his fringe!”

“What’s wrong with it?”

“It’s so long, like who does he think he is?” Sandra spoje up. “Pete Urie?”

“Okay, first of all, you’ve got to pick one, because Pete Urie isn’t a real person. At least a real famous person. It’s either Pete Wentz or Brendon Urie. Second of all, who cares?”

“Whatever,” They both rolled their eyes. “If you want to hang with us, you seriously better not talk to him.”

“But’s wrong with that?” He had walked by at this point, maybe even heard us talking about him.

“I just don’t want to be associated with someone like that,” Martha sighed, continuing to walk. I stared back at him longingly. I wanted to talk to him. Even be his friend. I guess this was it.

***

I internally cringed at that thought. I can’t believe I let my friends decide who and who not to talk to, like they had any sort of say. If they were really my friends, they wouldn’t have cared. Though that is who I’m living with now, even if we’re only friends out of commonality of location. And now the boy’s a psycho, so like a lot of good that did.

I heard the door open from upstairs again. I hope he was grabbing me a blanket. He approached my room, I’m assuming through the door I didn’t know existed in the first place. He walked up to me, and grabbed my (now empty) tray. He meandered toward me, and helped me up. He lead me out of the room upstairs from where he had gone. “Where are we going?” I asked him. No response. “Are you letting me go?”

“No,” he stated promptly. He stopped walking for a second, and I stopped walking with him. He wasn’t gripping my arm very hard. I could escape if I wanted to. Though I didn’t really want to. He thought for a moment, but then continued walking with me.

“Mm. Well.” He lead me to the rest of his place, which was a house of a sort. It looked like it was once lived in quite happily, but then a tornado of frat boys just totally trashed the place. “This isn’t quite clean, actually.”

“Yeah, it’s not.” We continued walking. We reached a surprisingly neat room, and went inside, about four feet in. “Listen.” He started, looking at me. In his eyes I saw longing, but for what, I couldn’t place. “I’m in like.. Dire need of someone to clean this house.”

“Yeah, that much is obvious.”

“And I know how much women like freedom.”

“That’s a good observation.”

“So, if you cleaned for me, you could earn your freedom.”

I stared at him in disbelief. “Are you telling me you kidnapped me because you wanted me to clean for you?”

“Well,” his hand reached up to scratch the back of his head bashfully, letting mine go. “Not entirely. The kidnapping thing was mostly to scare you.”

“That mostly worked. But why?”

“Not important-”

“A lot of things are not important it seems.” I laughed lightly at that.

“Yeah, well. What can you do. Anyway, you can stay here, or you can go to wherever you live, I don’t really care. Just, make sure you’re here every day.”

“So are you going to help me or something?”

“I don’t really know honestly. Didn’t think I’d get that far.”

“So you’re not going to pay me?” I asked him.

“No.”

“So what’s stopping me from just, never coming back?”

“Your undying love for me?” I opened my mouth to respond, but he continued on, interrupting what I was going to say. “Nothing, actually. You don’t have to earn your freedom. You can leave for all I care.”

“Yeah?”

“Just try not to fall in love with me if you come back again,” he said quietly, laughing to himself. He turned to walk away, but I spoke up before he could leave.

“Too late,” I muttered.he heard me, it seemed, as he stepped dead in his tracks. I looked around for something comfortable to put on, since I was still cold. Seriously, did he not have heat in this place? I found a hoodie lying on the floor and put it on, covering my hands in the sleeves like paws.

“What was that?”

I shrugged and sat down on the bed. “I can’t not fall in love with you, I’ve been in love with you. Since we were like 16.”

“Wait, wh-what the fuck? But you’ve-” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “You’ve never given me the time of day! Back then, since then.”

“Yeah, well. I’m nervous around people I find attractive. And my friends didn’t want me to, and I didn’t have a backbone to stand up to them.”

“You,” he took another breath, this one shallow. “You don’t even know me.”

“I know more than you think.” I stood up, and stared back at him. “That sounds creepier than I meant it to be, but it’s true. I’ve always wanted to get to know you.”

“Then,” he took a step closer to me. “This was all for nothing?”

“All for nothing? I thought you said you kidnapped me to scare me.”

“Well, yeah. I said that. But that was mostly because I was regretting it. Originally, I was going to make you fall in love with me.”

“Mmm. Not really helping your case there, bud.”

“Yeah, well I didn’t do that.”

“A good choice.”

“So,” he sighed, somehow nearer to me than he was before. “You’re actually in love with me.”

“Yep. As it was established.”

“So, are we going to do anything about it?”

“Like what?” I was also getting closer to him. We were now only about six inches apart. The only thing around was a bookcase with antique dishware on them.

“Oh you know,” he smiled. I could feel his breath on me, and my heartbeat started to pick up. He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, smiling at me. “I like my hoodie on you.”

“Thanks,” I smiled shyly. “It’s comfy.”

“It suits you.” his voice was barely above a whisper as he leaned in for a kiss. I glanced down at his lips, my heart rate skyrocketing, then met him halfway. My hands went up to rest at the nape of his neck, playing with his overdyed hair, while his rested on my cheeks. I deepened the kiss, and he pushed me against the bookcase with more force than he was intending, causing a cup to fall to the ground. We both pulled apart to the sound of glass breaking.

“Fuck,” he gasped, breathless. He bent down to pick up the cup, then stood tall, knowingly close to me. “He fell.”

“He?”

“This whole tea set has a personality. My mom was all about that shit. This teacup is the son of that teapot right there. I can’t remember the cup’s name, but I remember the pot’s name was Mrs. Pots.”

“Chip.”

“Chip?” he looked at me expectantly.

“Like from the movie. You know, Beauty and the Beast?”

“Oh yeah!” He smiled again, and I immediately wanted his face to show nothing but that. “Chip,” he smiled contently.

[rosequartzharry]

He was hurt.

He knew checking the several different social media accounts was a bad idea.

But he did it anyways.

On every single one was pictures of her and some guy sharing a drink. His DMs were flooded with ‘are u ok’s and words of encouragement to move on. But it wasn’t that easy. He’d gotten attached to this girl, and she ended things so abruptly. They’d only been together about 3 months, but he’d gotten so smitten so quickly. They seemed to be inseparable, but that was only through the pap cameras. When they got home, she’d always pick a fight about the same thing: privacy. He knew his fans were kind of persistent when he or anyone else from 1D got a girlfriend. Her Instagram and twitter were flooded with questions, insults, and provocative statements. She put her social media on private, but that didn’t stop the tweets. She was fed up one night and walked out, never to be seen from or heard from again. Her last words to Harry that night were ‘I love you, but I can’t do this anymore’. That sentence had been running through Harrys mind for the last week.

It was a good thing he’d stocked his house with alcohol, because he sure as shit didn’t want his fans seeing him depressed and drunk every night out at bars or clubs. He knew they worried about him sometimes.

Harry wasn’t one to leave drunk voicemails, but tonight was different. He’d seen that picture of her and that guy not 12 hours earlier, and was completely shitfaced now, laying on his couch staring at the picture.

 He didn’t remember much of last night, but he did know he drank enough to give him a massive hangover this morning. Not even ibuprofen and coffee could cure it this time. When he checked his phone, he saw the last app open was the phone app. Oh jeez. He’d called her 12 times. God only knows what he said to her in his voicemails that he inevitably left her. He remembered in one he left saying something about “What does that guy have to offer you that I don’t? Does he treat you half as good as I did?” He didn’t want to know the answers, nor did he want to remember anything else he’d said in those voicemails.

He didn’t talk to anyone that day. He was too embarrassed about the voicemails that he just stayed cooped up in his house all day. Drinking and stalking her Instagram. She’d really had him whipped. He finally decided to try and get his mind off it with TV, but it didn’t do much. Every little scene reminded him of her somehow. He was plastered, again, and leaving voicemails, again. This time, the voicemails were more poetic, but also had a mix of jealousy and depression about the breakup 8 days prior. “How could you move on so quickly, hm? I’m sitting here in this fucking house, by myself. Laying on YOUR side of the bed. You’re probably out with HIM living it up, not even giving a damn.” Once he hung up the phone, he threw it at the wall just under the framed picture he had taken of her on the beach. He saw the picture and just sobbed. He must’ve been sitting there for 2 hours just crying about that magical 3 months with her. He remembered the day she walked out, he’d never cried like that before.

When he finally managed to calm himself down, he sent one final voicemail. “I don’t want your body, that’s not what I miss. I hate to think about you with somebody else.” Short and sweet. With puffy eyes and tears all over his sweater, he went to bed.

 The next morning, his eyes looked bloodshot. He could remember the night before a little better than that other night, so knew that he’d cried for a while. He went to the bathroom but didn’t check his phone this time. In a petty attempt to spare himself the shit he’d find on her twitter and Instagram. When he finally did pick up his phone, he had a few texts. Some from his mom and his sister asking if he was okay, and 2 from her.

Harry, you’ve got to stop calling me. We didn’t even date for very long.

Please. I’m trying to move on. You should to.

He didn’t respond to her, but he knew she’d notice he read them. He had his read receipts on, because when they dated, she turned them on, he just didn’t have the heart to turn them off again.

He was hungover, again. He drew a hot bath to try and help ease his tension in his muscles. He knew breakups made him tense and stressed. But this time it was like it was amplified. He’d been in previous relationships, but those breakups were nothing compared to this. He just wished it would all go away. He liked to see the positive things in life and not focus on the negative. But something about losing her brought out this sad, depressed side of him. He’d been wearing the same sweater since she left. It was covered in tears and small splashes of alcohol.

When he got out of the bath, he was a little less tense, but still had a headache like nothing else. He never liked to get shitfaced like that, but it was different when you were grieving. He didn’t give a fuck, frankly. And drinking seemed to distract his sober self from the pain. He looked at her texts again after putting on a clean t shirt. There was no time for buttons when you were this sad and, apparently, clumsy with your alcohol. He soon remembered that she had given him this shirt, which led to his first drink of the day.

All the sudden, he got a call. He would’ve rejected the call and sat around to mope, but it was Niall. A few days ago, he would’ve ignored the call or picked up to give some excuse as to why he couldn’t come over. But for some reason he picked up.

“Hey.”

“Hey, Harry, how’s it been going?”

“Fine, I guess” he knew it was a lie, but was curious to see if Niall would see through it.

“I’m coming over, that didn’t sound fine. I know you’ve been depressed about her, I want to get you out of this slump, lad.” Before Harry could say no, Niall had hung up. He and Niall had stayed pretty close since the hiatus, so it was normal for every couple of days they would get together and hang out. Harry just hoped he’d be able to keep himself together for Niall’s sake. He didn’t want to unload his shit all over Niall. But when Niall finally arrived, Harry opened the door and burst into tears.

With no words, Niall came in, and gave him a big hug. He closed the door behind him with his foot so he could comfort Harry.

“I know you miss her, lad.” Harry didn’t say anything for a while, just cried.

When he finally stopped, he apologized, “I’m sorry, Niall, I didn’t mean to unload all over you, I just couldn’t hold it back” Harry sniffled, grabbing tissues from the table by the door and blowing his nose.

“That’s okay, you’ve got to let it out” They walked over to sit on the couch. Niall noticed Harry’s home was a mess. There were empty bottles scattered across the living room and clutter all over the coffee table and bookshelf.

“Harry how long did it take you to drink all this?”

“Dunno, those are from the last couple days, I just couldn’t be bothered to clean them up.” Niall sighed and started tidying up. He’d never seen Harry in such a broken state.

Once the mess of bottles and miscellaneous clutter had been picked up, Niall had an idea. “I think we should clean up anything she left behind, to help you get over this. Just seeing her stuff all the time can’t be good for your mental health, lad.” Harry just sat on the couch staring at his hands.

“Yeah, you’re probably right.” Harry sighed, staring at the room for a minute before getting up. While he was doing that, Niall had grabbed a box to put it all in. Harry started going around looking for things that were hers or gifts from her. There were mostly pictures of her that he’d taken. Small piles of polaroids all over the bookshelf. He grabbed them and looked through them. Almost immediately regretting it because after the first couple he felt the urge to cry again. They were pictures he’d taken of her on the beach. He wiped away the couple of rogue tears and put the pictures in the box. Niall didn’t say anything because he didn’t know what to say.

“It occurs to me that she gave me this shirt.” Harry took off the shirt and put it in the box. He walked into the bathroom to check for anything of hers. She’d left a toothbrush and a small lotion sitting on the sink that he hadn’t noticed before. He picked up the toothbrush and threw it in the garbage. He didn’t think shed want it back. He put the lotion in the box out on the coffee table and migrated to his bedroom. Most of her stuff was still here, since it had only been about 9 days since she left.

He decided to start with the closet. He opened it and saw the few shirts shed put in there for when she was over. Harry pulled them out of the closet and carefully folded them, putting them in the box. Next was the scarf hanging from the headboard. He picked it up and put it right next to the shirts. Last but not least, that picture. He thought it was the most beautiful picture he’d ever taken. He almost didn’t want to get rid of it. But he knew he had to for his mental health. He pulled it off the wall and set it on the bed. When he finally saw the empty space it left on the wall, he started crying again. He couldn’t help but feel sad seeing the last and final piece of her memory had been removed. All that was left was the hole that the nail left behind.

Niall heard Harry crying from the living room and rushed in to comfort him. When he sat down on the bed, he was careful not to sit on the picture. He didn’t say anything, just hugged Harry to his shoulder and let him cry.

“Let it out, buddy” Niall rubbed Harrys back while he cried. He’d never seen Harry this broken before, but he could see just how in love he was with this girl before they split. He was like a lovesick puppy. He would never shut up about how great she was and how lucky he was to have her in his life. It broke Niall’s heart to see his friend in such bad shape.

They must have sat like that for half an hour when Harry finally calmed down. Niall didn’t care in the slightest that literally all of Harry’s tears were on his shirt. “How about I stay for a couple days and help you through this, yeah?”

“Oh, Niall, I don’t want to burden you-,” Harry was cut off.

“It’s not even an issue, I just gotta run home and grab some stuff. I’ll take this box to her for you so you don’t have to.”

“Are you sure, Niall?”

“Yes. I don’t mind.” Niall grabbed the box of her stuff and headed down to his car.

Harry watched him walk to his car to make sure he got there okay. Niall was one to trip over his feet when he couldn’t see them directly.

Once Niall had gotten to his car safely, Harry grabbed his phone and a bottle and laid on the couch. He decided, against his better judgement, to check her Instagram one last time. Her most recent picture was one of her and that guy kissing on the same beach from the photo hung in the bedroom. Harry sighed and opened the bottle, not taking his eyes off the picture.

 He didn’t know how long he’d been staring at the photo drinking, nor did he know how long Niall had been gone for. But Harry jumped when his door opened and Niall walked in with a small backpack. Harry saw it was Niall and looked back at his phone, taking another drink of the, now, half empty bottle. Niall peaked over Harry’s shoulder to see what he was doing. Niall saw the username and snatched the phone out of Harry’s hand.

“Hey! What do you think you’re fuckin doing, mate?” Harry was more startled than angry.

“You can’t keep staring at her photos. It’s not healthy.” Niall said, going to her profile and unfollowing her. He would’ve blocked her, but that wouldn’t stop him from looking, and at least unfollowing her made it harder for him to just get to her profile.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right” Harry said, looking down at the bottle in his hands.

Niall walked past Harry to sit on the couch. “I’ll take that,” Niall said, snatching the bottle out of his hands and putting it on the opposite side of the couch where Harry couldn’t get it. Harry didn’t even flinch. In fact, he barely seemed to give a damn. Niall couldn’t help but notice how detached Harry was.

“I think we should go out tonight. Not drinking, you’ve done plenty of that. But we should go bowling or to a movie or something.” Harry didn’t seem opposed to the idea.

“I think we should go bowling, anything to get my mind off this. I think I’m actually fresh out of tears.” Harry laughed, but it wasn’t super genuine.

  It had been about a month since Niall stayed at Harry’s to cheer him up. Harry was certainly doing much better these days. He had even gone out in public and looked exceptionally happy over the last two weeks. He still felt a little sad he’d lost her, but he couldn’t help but think it was for the best. Tonight, he decided to go celebrate with his band. He didn’t know what they were celebrating, but Harry liked being with his band mates.

He’d been talking guitar stuff with Mitch when out of the corner of his eye he saw her. He hadn’t seen her in a month! He almost wanted to go up to her and say something, but even liquid courage couldn’t help him. He just sat and watched her from across the room.

He saw her looking through her phone absent mindedly. But Harry had noticed that same guy from the pictures a month ago walking over to her with two shots. He couldn’t help but feel jealous, but happy. Happy that she’d found a guy who would make her happy, but jealous it wasn’t him. He watched as they took the shots and gathered their things. He watched them leave and felt the urge to go after her. But he didn’t, he decided to let her go finally. It was like the universe was giving him the closure he needed to live his life again.

He sent her one final text. He made it poetic because that’s just who he was. That was evident by his tweets.

Our love has gone cold. I’m happy you’re intertwining your soul with somebody else. All the love. H xx

[happy2bmyownboss]

I had planned to just ‘chill out’ this weekend and maybe work on our next little house on the prairie adventure but lately, things rarely go as planned around here.

Friday had been rearranged for a very important event that didn’t happen because of a HUGE misunderstanding. To say I was disappointed would be a HUGE understatement but this event has been rescheduled for Wednesday, so fingers crossed that everything goes as planned.

Friday evening I had been binge-watching some Fixer Upper when a text came through. It was from Southwestern Produce to let us know that they had rescheduled the veggie pickup due to bad weather… well, that threw a little wrench in Saturday’s plans as I had already scheduled a few other things around the pickup but I quickly got to work a rescheduled things so I wouldn’t have to get up quite so early… yay! I still need to figure out a plan for next weekend as I already had plans for Saturday morning…

After the kids were in bed, I decided to go ahead and take a nice long hot shower and try out my new Norwex body cloths. I had heard that if you used them to exfoliate before shaving then you would have smoother legs for longer… it’s true. Almost three days later and I barely have any stubble… They also work well to remove makeup… even waterproof mascara!

That night my stomach started to hurt so bad… I guess those treats from the bread store do not agree with me anymore. I will miss my carrot cakes but I’m sure with a little bit of experimenting I will find something similar that is THM approved and my tummy will be happy again. I was up most of the night throwing up… I have such a bad gag reflex that if I even hear someone vomiting I will start myself, then once I start I can’t stop… not fun.

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Saturday morning I woke up in the recliner feeling as though a herd of horses had taken turns kicking me in the stomach. I woke up early even though I’d planned on sleeping in but Ms. Comet has her routines and she lets everyone know when something is off.

After bringing her in from her walk I got a phone call from Mr. Awesome who was out of town for a meeting. He needed us to come to where he was which was about 3 hours away… sigh, I really didn’t feel like going but decided it might be fun to go and there was a square dance scheduled for that night as well.

I had to go out to the shed to grab the kids’ suitcase which is always half-prepped for travel. While I was out there I decided, for some unknown reason, to straighten things up a bit as it has gotten a bit cluttered from some shopping that I have done over the past few months.

Within a few minutes I had it looking pretty good and I just had one more box to move… a very heavy box. As I was moving the box I lost my balance and started to fall. I let go of the box, the box fell forward, and I went backward. I put an arm out… even though I knew I shouldn’t, and landed on my extended hand which snapped my wrist the wrong way. OUCH!!!

I got myself up and brushed off and grabbed the suitcase to head to the house. I had a good bruise and scrape on my left arm and it feels like a bad sprain. My arm was in a bit of pain but there was so much to do and just a little time to get it done. I still needed to run an errand and go by Walmart as I had promised to take a neighbor by there. While we were there I grabbed an arm brace and an ACE bandage to put on my arm in the hopes it would quit throbbing. I also took a couple of ibuprofen to help with the pain.

After finishing up our errands we headed on our drive. About midway, we stopped to go potty and grab a bite to eat. Traveling with all of these kids can be a little crazy so I decided to stop at a McDonald’s that was near the exit. After dragging all the kids to the restroom and coming out to go ahead and order some lunch I noticed someone had my oldest son, who has special needs, by the arm… I almost freaked out. I’ve heard all of those CRAZY stories and my mind was flooded with a million different thoughts.

As it turned out it was the manager and she was very helpful. She made sure to help us get our food ordered and even helped me get the drinks and all. It was extremely nice to find such a friendly person on such a CRAZY day. We got our order and were on our way again.

As we got close to our destination we saw some dinosaurs along the road… the kids really loved this and we plan to try to make another trip down to visit this place soon!

Upon arrival at our destination, I was a bit grumpy… really grumpy! My arm was killing me and my back was starting to ache as well and Mr. Awesome was not anywhere to be found! It turns out that I had made it there sooner than he had expected and he had gone to lunch. Yeah, I wasn’t really a pleasant person and I have apologized for my mood a couple of times.

Mr. Awesome gave me the hotel key and I punched the address into the GPS and gladly headed that way while he stayed for the second half of his meeting. I was really looking forward to getting everything unpacked and relaxing for a few minutes until we needed to pick up Mr. Awesome.

Well, as luck would have it our GPS was not cooperating and after making 3 U-turns I decided to head back to where Mr. Awesome was. I also stopped and grabbed a few snacks for the kiddos.

Mr. Awesome was surprised that we had waited in the parking lot and he thought it was kind of funny when I told him about the GPS malfunction… I really wasn’t in the mood to laugh.

I gave him the van keys and he took us to the hotel. When we made it to the room the hotel key card was not working which made me glad that we hadn’t made it to the hotel earlier. I would have been so upset if I had gotten there and couldn’t get into the room.

We got unpacked and got everyone ready for the dance that evening. Then we all went to Denny’s for dinner. I found myself getting grumpier and grumpier because I really didn’t feel well and I had already taken a few more ibuprofen to try to ease the pain. When I realized just how grumpy I was being I felt even worse and I apologized to Mr. Awesome.

After eating we headed to the dance and had a great time. Everyone there was excited to see the kids and the smiles on their faces made me feel better than I had all day long. Then Mr. Awesome took me to meet the caller, Tom Miller, and he actually recognized me as we are Facebook friends… lol. That was actually pretty neat!

We got our picture taken with him and he took up with William. He then asked to take some pictures with the kids and they were ALL being so SILLY! It was a great night and probably one of the best dances I’ve ever been to!

We ended the night with a trip to Denny’s for ice cream but unfortunately, they were out of vanilla ice cream. I had my heart set on some apple crisp but I didn’t think it would be quite the same with chocolate or strawberry ice cream so I settled with some cheesecake.

We headed back to the hotel and the kids were so ready for bed! I was ready too but I was so uncomfortable that I couldn’t sleep well and when my alarm went off at 6:30 I was so glad to be able to take a nice hot shower… I really wish I had thought to take a soak in the tub the night before though.

Mr. Awesome had one more meeting that we all attended and then we headed back home. My arm was throbbing so badly on the trip home… I had cut myself back to one ibuprofen at a time because I know how my stomach is and I knew that it would start hurting if I continued to take them two at a time on a consistent basis. We got home and caught up with Papa O and Nanny J before unloading the van.

I was excited to get the mail from Saturday as the optic scarf I had ordered came in. I thought this would be perfect for Mr. Awesome to keep on his bag to use for cleaning his square dance equipment. He seems to love it so far.

Norwex has a variety of scarves in different colors and patterns. I think I may know a few people who may get them for Christmas this year. They are great to have on hand for cleaning your glasses and tech devices while on the go. 

Once the kids helped unload I gave them each a couple of assignments so that everything could get put back where it needed to be. The kids headed out to play and I sat down to rest. I wrapped my arm with the ACE bandage which felt so much better than the brace had and I dozed in the recliner for a bit.

Later that evening I made a quick dinner of baked chicken and baked potatoes. I really wasn’t feeling well and my stomach had started to hurt again. Needless to say, I didn’t get much sleep last night because I was in so much pain with my stomach. I can say that it has finally eased off but I have not been able to take any more Ibuprofen today so my arm is still a bit sore but better than it was before.

Last night was so rough though… I really had to remind myself to just relax and breathe. As I sat on the bed this morning I noticed a big fish crane out on the dock. I watched him for a good while and that helped me to relax quite a bit and made me more determined to have a good day today…

I also tried my best to reflect back on this weekend and to think about how much I have been blessed. I am truly so BLESSED in so many ways. I was reminded of this a couple of different times when strangers came up to compliment our family and to tell me just how much Mr. Awesome adores me… yes, I am so BLESSED.

Even though the pain was bad at times I told myself that it wasn’t gonna be any better if I just laid in bed. I’ve dealt with chronic pain for so long that I know that half of the battle is just showing up. I gave myself several pep talks and got out of bed and began to get ready for the day. There have been many times throughout the day that I’ve really just wanted to give in and go back to bed but I haven’t and I am feeling much better than I did this morning.

Today is a day that I am so glad for routines (and freezer meals) as I really relied on them to help me get through the day and get everything finished that needed to be completed. Right now the kids are laying down for some quiet time while I finish up this post. They are super excited to go to the dance tonight as they are in class right now. A lot of the dancers from this weekend were so excited to learn that the kids will be dancing soon and they invited us back again.

The laundry has been washed and is hanging on the porch… it is pretty humid today so it isn’t drying very fast at all. The dog has had a bath and the house has been fairly straightened up. I also have some Crockpot Italian Chicken on for dinner, this was one of the freezer meals we made earlier this month, and I will put on a pot of rice later and some green beans. We also pulled a pack of frozen rolls out of the freezer.

I think I may go ahead and try to get a little nap in before quiet time is over as I really am quite EXHAUSTED.

I hope you all have a blessed week and please stay tuned for some important updates later this week.

Monday Message: Seeing Your Blessings Through The Tears I had planned to just 'chill out' this weekend and maybe work on our next little house on the prairie adventure but lately, things rarely go as planned around here.