#still can't see from the latter end of a longer post though

[itsbenedict]

oh for fuck's sake they removed the floating icons again. i'm gonna start throwing furniture at stuff

[nuri148]

My Take on Levi's Age

I originally wrote this as a rb addition to another post. I've been meaning to make it a stand alone post since then, and with all the talk about Levi's age since the publication of bad boy, here it is, finally.

If you ask me, Levi could not have been more that 4-5 years old at the time Kenny found him around 829.

Why?

He's severely malnourished, probably spent several days cloistered in the room with Kuchel with nothing to eat. So my guess is that, though he was old enough to speak and understand Kuchel was dead (even if he could not quite grasp the bigger concept of Death), he was too young to go out and procure himself and his mum some food, be it by stealing or begging. And for that, he's need to be very young.

I lived in Greater Buenos Aires more than half of my life (the infamous "conurbano"), and I've seen lots of very small kids, 4-5 years old, begging like pros for either change or food. It's unfortunately very common in impoverished areas. And I wasn't even in the bad ones. So, in that aspect, the Underground wouldn't be different from our villas or Brazil's favelas.

Kuchel was a prostitute. She wouldn't want Levi to witness her at work. It is fair to think that as soon as he was old enough to cross the street she'd let him roam and go play with other kids while mummy's busy. There, he'd quickly learn how to come by a piece of moldy bread to stave hunger.

So in order to just sit starving by his mother instead of going out looking for help, Levi must have been young enough that his mum could still keep him under wraps; too young to know his way about the Underground's streets, too much of a rookie in terms of using his charm or his cunning to get a bit of food.

Uri Reiss inherited the Founding Titan in 829. BUT, nowhere does it say that Kenny's encounter with Uri happens right after the latter became a titan. So Kenny might have joined Uri up to a couple of years after 829 (not many, as Rod Reiss still looks young in that flashback).

So Kenny finds Levi between 829 and 831; And Levi is 4-5 then, meaning he was born, at earliest, in 823 (considering his b-day is only one week before the year's end, that'd make him 5 in for most of 829) and latest in 825 (same if Kenny found him in 831). That makes him 10-12 years older than Eren and company. , ~20 when he joins the SC, ~26 during seasons 1-3, ~30 after the time skip, and ~33 in the epilogue.

"But Yams said he was thirty-somethiiiing!"

TLDR: I wouldn't consider canon some spur-of-the-moment answer given by Yams in a panel where he's probably tired, nervous, and doesn't have his timeline handy.

Allow me to speak here as a writer: the whims of your imagination often don't align with the logic of what needs to go on the page. So it is perfectly possible to imagine your character in a way that is inconsistent with your timeline. You see them with short hair and summer clothes fixing lunch in their sunny kitchen in a scene and, when they move to the dining room you see them with hair 4 inches longer and serving supper as a snowstorm rages outside. When you write it, you're going to have to pick up one, and go back to your notes often for continuity after, bc your brain keeps forever placing the kitchen in sunny summer and the living room in a winter night. Oh, and they're both simultaneously on the ground and the second floor. Escher pictures make more sense.

The story of AoT spans many years, so we don't know which year Levi is the default Levi in Yams' brain. It could even be the Levi from the time skip, or from a future after the last chapter that only exists in his imagination. Also, Yams has bungled up numbers before so, personally, I don't trust him much in that department.

In any case, Math is a hard science, so if Kenny found Levi with 4-5 years in 829, he can't be 30+ in 850. 5+21=26. No matter what Yams says.

Additional notes:

The original post. With additions. I recommend reading the quoted twitter thread.

Another, recent twitter thread on Levi's age

A lengthy post by an actual psychologist providing scientific foundation for Levi's age when Kenny finds him.

I saw yet another post on Levi's age recently, but I can't find the link rn and I have to make lunch. if/when I find it, I'll add it (and others I may come across)

[benjineedssleep]

even more stardew valley headcanons (the list goes on in endless fervor)

when will the headcanons end? never! when these characters are all you think about, you kinda don't run outta fuel XD

ALSO-- lots of sam today but we do have some special friends here. special friends as in alex and leah and harvey :3 almost forgot... pt 1 // pt 2

whimsigoth abby, grunge/midwest emo sam, scenemo sebastian. i rest my case. sebastian's style varies the most out of the trio. he can go from merely jeans and a hoodie, to a million accessories, to a more dressy outfit with loose button ups and slacks. the latter only when he's feeling Extra Pretty though. (tbh he's always pretty to me. he's a pretty boy...) abby, on the other hand, really loves the style, but is more often than not dressed down because of her general messy/down to earth nature. her true style is pretty much saved for special events and gatherings and even then she can still get down and out (further tearing her stockings, mesh shirts, and any lace she has on). sam's the chillest and most consistent of the bunch with a copy-paste kinda style. he can just go in his closet and pull something out and it'll (probably) match whatever he pulls out next. makes it real easy on his already frazzled brain.

sam's extremely confident when he likes someone until his actions can no longer be passed off as platonic or you know how he feels. at that point, all of the confidence leaves his body. he starts rambling, can't get his thoughts out, and will probably stare blankly (super flustered at that) if you flirt back. it always takes him a second to register that hey, they feel the same but once he does, he's back on his bullshit. he's too big of a touchy feely fool and lover boy to let his nerves get to him all of the time.

haley is a secret rock/metal enjoyer. she loves the girly pop music everyone thinks she's into (charli xcx, chappell roan, etc.) but she's also very much into heavier genres. when she's not yelling out her window for sam to stop blasting music or practicing so loud, she's getting ready for the day secretly enjoying what he plays. her favorite days are when sebastian's over and gets to choose the music.

branching off of that, haley and sebastian are definitely concert buddies. one day he mentions he has plans to see one of his favorite local post-hardcore/metalcore bands and haley is like "SEBASTIAN, BABE, CAN I COME WITH???" and sebastian gets absolute whiplash. after much begging, he let's her tag along and is baffled at how much control she has in platforms in the pit. she genuinely invokes the fear of yoba into 6ft men and has created safe spaces for other girls to mosh due to her immense aura LOL

leah introduces alex to tofu for the first time when she makes a dish for one of the festivals/feasts and he's intrigued by it. she explains to him all the finer details (alex latching onto the high protein part) and even gives him a few recipes to try. while he does make and enjoy the recipes leah shared with him, he often elects to eat the stuff straight from the package. he'll only eat it with a sauce after evelyn catches him inhaling it plain and is horrified.

alex and sam would totally be friends, i don't make the rules. i bet they bond over shitty jokes and showing off all their battle scars from sports and being irresponsible (e.g. having zero coordination and falling off curbs, logs, etc.) as kids. sam takes the cake for battle scars and anytime alex finds a new one he tacks it onto a terribly kept mental list like it's a competition. and speaking of competitions, everything is a competition between those two. some of them even end up leading to new battle scars--

robin has a bit of a temper (canon, i know, keep reading) and one of the ways you can tell sebastian and maru are her kids is by their tempers. maru's the least easily triggered, but only because she can tolerate a lot. once the threshold is crossed, though, she can and will snap. robin's the middle ground, often passive aggressive instead of outright mean or aggressive. sebastian's obviously at the very top. he has next to no patience for bullshit but, as touched on in a previous post (linked up top), his lack of control over his own emotions blows a whole lot of minor shit out of proportion.

speaking of maru, i don't think she swears! she's very particular with her word choice and, honestly, the shit she says can sting a lot more than name calling. with her more pacifistic outlook on life, when she does say mean things, it's purposeful and the truth. unless she's joking around. but that's also scary. she only comes out of her shell a bit with playfully mean humor when her and sebastian start getting along better. "i hate you" and "you suck" and annoyed grumbling becomes a whole ass part of her personality because of him XD

not sure if i've mentioned this but sebastian 100% curses around robin. usually it's when he's frustrated, so she doesn't mind, but she won't tolerate it if the energy is directed at any given person (or living thing in general). he does avoid cursing around demetrius but only 'heavy' stuff like fuck or shit. hecks, hells, and damns are almost always okay. sebastian's a dick though and will sometimes substitute a random thing that sounds a lot like a 'heavy' swear just to watch demetrius get tense. "what the frog" is a fan favorite and makes both robin and maru laugh.

neither sam nor abby curse in front of either of their parents. caroline and pierre already think abby's a bit too... different so she tries to uphold whatever remaining 'good girl' standard she can. sometimes it slips but they tend to forget about it in a week. sam, on the other hand, finds it insanely amusing how his mother reacts to vincent trying to swear (see previous post) and will sometimes egg him on, but won't swear himself. he feels immense shame when he accidentally swears around jodi specifically but around any 'adult' in his life too.

i have no idea how i haven't mentioned this yet but sam is totally the type to do his own piercings. it's a random skill he has and he'll do them for other people if they want. he's only okay with certain stuff though and will say no to seemingly simple stuff if he feels any kind of way about doing it. (the rest of this point is totally a headcanon explicitly from my fic and its timeline so ignore it if you want.) i feel like maybe he learned the skill from the older sibling of a friend back in zuzu city. like he just hung around them in their shop enough and asked a ton of questions and learned about anatomy and stuff. it was probably a hyperfixation for a little while and he just hasn't forgotten anything.

on the topic of sam and body mods i feel like he'd have a couple of random stick and pokes. he treats them like stickers on his instruments and doesn't take them seriously at all. i bet he proposed an ass trio stick and poke where each of them tattooed a different symbol on each other's body. not sure what it would be but something everyone does super differently like stars or hearts. it was a silly thing at first but they definitely get them touched up at a later point so they don't fade =( /pos

okay so i'm a firm believer in the ass trio + haley + alex (+ farmer, sometimes) friend group too. usually only when paired off as ships but even so they'd probably join the tattoo line up too if they're close enough. i do feel like ass trio would get a little weird about it since it would be so many years after their original tattoos and instead suffice for everyone having the same kinda thing. and it would be super dumb like a spoon or a shopping cart or something. so yeah, ass trio stick and pokes and then a separate big group matching tattoo hehe

sam is a trinket kinda guy. he likes those stupid little sticker and plastic jewelry machines at supermarkets, gashapon, claw machines, and spending $100 in an arcade for a $5 plushie. and while he'll sometimes keep his little prizes, i like to think he gets them for other people to show them he's always thinking about them/loves them. like a crow!

i feel like harvey is similar to sam with that, in a sense. but instead of being a trinket guy, he likes souvenirs. he's the kind of guy to get one specific thing from every place he goes. i have a family member that does this with hot sauce (don't ask lol) but i think harvey would be a mug kind of guy. he also does it with tiny toy planes if he can ever find them, but that's obviously not as common as a mug. omg first harvey headcanon on the list(s)? i'm diversifying? omg!

emily is a keychain girlie. i do not make the rules. this girl sees a cute keychain and she's snatching it up. even better if it's from a small business. she has so many that she ends up rotating the keychains on her lanyard (yes, she has a lanyard) to match whatever she's wearing. she's the kind of person that, if an art teacher/fashion professor, would jingle in the hallways. you can hear emily a mile away because of those keychains just like you can hear haley because of her heels and winter soldier ass stride.

good lord i have... so so SO much more but this is like... too damn long. i think the longest one too. i'll continue at a later point. and hopefully stray a little further away from ass trio next time too. i do love the other npcs, i swear. i just have brain rot DFISHADFLH

[pttucker]

⸢And everyone lived happily ever after.⸥ I always hated that phrase. However, the current me dearly wished for that phrase to become true. [Constellation, 'Demon King of Salvation' has reached his ■■.] [You have become the 'Oldest Dream'.] The disappearing lights in the distance resembled the Constellations that still remembered me. And with that, my endless voyage got underway. [Your ■■ is 'Eternity'.]

I was this close to making a reaction post about the supposed "miracle" that happened and why the worldline wasn't collapsing despite Oldest Dream no longer dreaming.

I mean, I was certain it was because Dokja was maintaining the dream and maybe he himself hadn't realized it yet, what with him literally being Oldest Dream. Guess he had one final trick up his sleeve.

I will say that I'm super amused that my theory of him being an avatar and not knowing it was apparently 100% correct but in a manner I completely did not expect. If I have to pick, I wanna say that the moment he chose to break himself apart was right here:

That left only three people behind. "Kim Dokja." It was unknown who among Han Sooyoung and Yoo Joonghyuk called that name out first. The former asked with a questioning pair of eyes. "We are getting off together, right?" [Someone has activated 'Lie Detection Lv… '] That prompted Kim Dokja to smirk softly. "Of course. We should." ['Lie Detection' has confirmed 'Kim Dokja's' words as truth.] "Let's go."

Sneaky, sneaky, sneaky. Dokja scheming until the very last second. Sacrificing himself for his companions One. Last. Time.

Though not as much of a sacrifice as before; he'll still get to "read" about them just like he loves and technically he will also get to live with everybody in a big house just like he wanted. So while part of me is clenching my heart, it's overall a happy ending.

And I looooove that we've circled back to Dokja's ■■ and why it has both the meaning of Eternity and Final Chapter.

I'll admit that I'm still a little fuzzy on what exactly happened with Secretive Plotter, the 999ths and Oldest Dream. I guess they reached the epilogue of their stories and this is the epilogue of Dokja's story? So now they're off in an entirely different worldline once again?

And it seems we have 34 chapters of epilogues to go through now! As well as ongoing side stories! The latter of which I still need to figure out if anyone is currently translating into English.

I'll admit when I heard that ORV had ongoing side stories I wasn't certain what exactly they'd be about but it appears we've still got a lot to wrap up even after the happy ending and you can't tell me that at least in one future side story (or maybe one of these epilogues) Dokja doesn't meet himself again or at least realize that he's missing half his memories.

...Or perhaps his companions will realize something fishy is going on, what with living right beside him and Dokja not remembering a whole 50% of his life. Hmmm.

A tale of this new world continued to flow on. But then, just as the subway's doors closed, Han Sooyoung looked behind her with a slightly unsure, hard-to-read face of someone that left something behind. Even Yoo Joonghyuk looked back, too. The only person who didn't was Kim Dokja. Han Sooyoung and Yoo Joonghyuk's gazes ran into each other, and they began growling at the same time. "What you looking at?!" "I should ask you that, you basta…"

Well, if nothing else, I do dearly wish to see more of these three idiots together. I love that both of them refused to get off the train until they were certain Dokja was coming with them and they both seemed to sense that they'd just lost something.

And I do wonder how exactly the world is going to go on after all of this mess and if they really will try to take Joonghyuk's sword from him. (Not a good idea.)

I mean, they seem to still have all of their abilities and stats? I think? So they're just supposed to live in normal, modern day Korea as if nothing happened while having superpowers??? And I assume most of the world's population is gone unless that was miraculously rewritten.

Or...???

Guess I'll find out.

[devisopod]

Levity Creek!

Chapter two

Have I gone over writing rules yet? No. Will I? Probably not right now.

I feel like short chapters are the way to go atm. Maybe if I get really into it I'll make longer posts. For now, this is what we get. Slow buildup, short additions, and objectively boring shit

I don't think anyone's gonna go back and read this but me lmao

______

The road out of Oklahoma and into the next few states was as long and uneventful as I planned for. Flat, long stretches of nothingness, and eventually piss-poor radio signal.

To no real surprise, but my ultimate dismay, it got colder the further north I got. Laughably, I became thankful that my engine acted as a space heater by the time I reached California. The weather back home was nothing like this and I was beginning to wonder if I was even built to withstand this kind of change. Maybe it's dramatic to think that way, but I certainly don't mesh well with temperatures below sixty degrees Fahrenheit. And neither does my van, which I found out very quickly.

Needless to say, I didn't stay in Palo Alto much longer than it took me to get the engine back up to snuff. Though, I left with more cargo than I intended, and boy, was I unprepared for it.

Fiddleford insisted that I pick up Tate on the drive up if I could. That way we could "bond". It was an awkward conversation, but even for a pushover, he has his way of being persistent. That, or I suppose that I'm just a pushover myself, which is a trait I gained and blame him for entirely. Of course, in the end I relented — albeit, reluctantly.

Now, I don't know much about Emma May given that she came along after Fiddleford and I grew apart. Still, she welcomed me like she knew me, and that made me a little less apprehensive about the whole thing. I'll admit, however, that the interaction was somewhat forced on my part, and on hers it seemed. She was distant and didn't appear entirely present in the conversation. Which, naturally, struck me as odd. Here I was, a practical stranger that was taking her son across two states. Yet, she didn't bat an eye. Regardless, I'm not one to pry.

Coming to terms with being an aunt and temporary guardian, my attention drifts back and forth from the road to the kid strapped into a carseat behind the passenger side. He's barely made a sound since I got him settled in. I'm not sure if that's more comforting or less, but I'm leaning toward the latter the further out I get. To give him credit, he's not misbehaving, but a quiet kid doesn't always make a good one.

His hair hangs over his eyes, squished into place by a hat that's arguably too big for his head. I can't even really tell if he's awake or not, and for a while I wonder if he's mute. In all honesty, I just keep looking back to make sure he's actually still there.

Dealing with kids has never been my strong suit — I'm not even adept at interacting with people my age. I was expected to be "bonding" on the way, but over what, exactly? Involuntarily being confined to the same space for the next six hours? The whole thing has me feeling like nothing short of a disappointment. Whether it's to myself, to Tate, or to Fiddleford, I have no idea.

As a result of my uncertainty and overall discomfort, I spend a lot of time in silence the next couple of hours, and so does Tate. In fact, he makes next to no indication of being there at all for the longest time. There were periods that I almost forgot he was with me and I would be lulled into a relaxed state. Those never lasted long. It wasn't until after we passed the state line into Oregon that he sneezed and I nearly sent the van off the road.

Meeting what I could only assume was his gaze in the rear view mirror, I could see that he was uncomfortable, and probably had been for a while. I always was a sucker for a pitiful look, my sympathy knew no bounds, but I never could help it. With a short exhale, I turn off at the next exit and into a gas station lot. The van rolls to a stop in one of the faded spots and grumbles down to a silence once I've pulled out the key. I unbuckle myself and turn in my seat to face Tate more head-on. On top of being snotty, he was holding tight to his thin jacket and crossing his legs. No doubt about it, he was holding it in, and here I was hoping he wasn't still in diapers.

"You gotta use the bathroom?" I prompt gently.

For the first time on the trip so far, he actually responds with a short "Mhm" and a nod.

"Alright," I grunt, pulling myself from the driver's seat and over the doghouse into the back.

I open the side doors and hop out onto the pavement before working to figure out how to unbuckle this poor kid from his seat. I can only imagine he's wondering why I'm having so much trouble as I struggle with each little belt. It's almost embarrassing, really, and it only makes me feel worse when I know he's probably been holding it for the past hour or two. Once I've finally gotten him out, I pluck him from his seat and set him on the ground next to me.

"You stay close, m'kay?" I say, looking down at him curiously while we make our way toward the station.

"'Kay," he answers quietly.

To my surprise, he grabs for my hand and holds onto it tight. Probably an instinctive reaction for him if I had to guess, but it warms my heart anyway.

Yeah, I could be an aunt.

PREV | NEXT

[theflyingfeeling]

well said, Niko 👏

so I went to exit my emotions in Germany last weekend, details below:

we went to the shows in Berlin & Leipzig, with a VIP experience for the latter

and guyyyyyyyyssss let me tell you, BC really did not lie when they said we were there to Exit our Emotions 😩 the shows went straight to the very top of my personal BC shows list, the energy was amazing and all the new songs sounded incredible live, even the ones that weren't necessarily my #1 favourites, like Where's the Exit and Wolves in California. Especially the former sounds sooooooooooooooo good live 💖

and because I was there mainly to enjoy myself and to exit the fuck out of my stupid useless emotions, I barely took any videos or pictures (I never take pictures anyway, how do y'all manage to take such amazing shots at shows?!) despite having relatively good spots to do so. I kinda wish I had more so I could think back to the shows afterwards, but on the other hand I felt like I got way more out of the show when I put my undivided focus on it, and besides indoor shows are always challenging on that regard due to the flashing lights etc. and I felt like every time I was going to film the lighting was not appropriate so in the end I just couldn't bother 😅

I don't really have much else to report from Berlin other than that the venue was great, I had an excellent view and had the best time ever 🥰

not least because I met so many BC tumblr friends!! it was so nice seeing everyone, please come to the Nokia Arena show y'all, we'll be your host it's hocus pocus 🥺

and then there was Leipzig 🥴

I mean, this is my initial reaction immediately after it (written in my drafts):

🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈

but yeah, as you can see from this post, @exitemotions and I had bought some silly little gifts to give the guys (rock hand glass markers not pictured), and we were so incredibly chill about the whole thing, like, NO ONE has ever been as chill as we were in advance of the VIP experience, I'm tellin' ya 💅

(we were so chill in fact that when we came back to the hotel room afterwards, we noticed we had forgotten the ceiling light on. you know, because that's how chill and zen and calm we had been upon leaving for the venue 💅💅💅💅💅)

the acoustic set was fucking cute, almost like a little campfire hangout 🥺

about giving the gifts and having our pictures taken: I feel like I was working on some kind of autopilot and can barely remember much anything 🙃 which I'm kinda mad at myself about lol, but I guess the guys liked the gifts (Olli said the glass markers were important, as my foreword for them was that they'd no longer have to fight about which glass/cup was whose, and I remember Tommi saying that socks are always useful. the others are owners of feet as well, so I suppose they agree 🧦)

we had made all sorts of grand plans for our individual pictures with the band but ended up with having "regular" ones after all, because while there was no feeling of rush per se at the m&g, everything was still happening relatively fast and sort of in their own course, and if we had wanted to do any funny poses or whatever, we should've been faster and in a little...sharper mental state to ask for them 😂😭

but we were chill though, I promise 💅

(I'm just cringing at myself so hard because I look like a fucking teacher standing for a class photograph 😂💀 it's funnier if you know I'm actually a teacher lol)

during the show we were on 2-3 row because we kinda missed our cue to run and reserve our spots before the acoustic set. personally I blame Santeri the tour manager for this (and also the fact that there were so many people there who had already been to VIP on this tour before, so they knew what to do 🤷‍♀️ meanwhile we were just left standing like "...wat 🧍‍♂️")

the show was just as great as the Berlin one, I honestly can't put them in order because they were both amazing and really made me forget about my sad little life 🖤

Rock Band From Hell was also alright. the one with no shirt on was hot

Ghost Kid was cool too. the one with no shirt on was hot

...so hot in fact that I already fell in love with him at the Berlin gig, and so when we were on our way to the merch booth after the Leipzig show, we ran into him and I flirted chatted with him a bit and had my picture taken with him 🥰 he was soooooo sweet and funny and I hope he'll stay true to his promise and keep the thing I said to him ('the drummer of BC could never [swirl the drumstick in his fingers in between every beat like you do]') "just between you and me" 🤭

from the merch booth I bought the XOXO longsleeve which looks super nice (sadly the quality isn't as super though dfgdgdsdh)

the next day it was time to return home, and as @kraeuterhexchen was seeing me to my platform at the railway station, I broke into tears in the middle of an escalator and didn't stop crying until boarding my plane lol

it's just that I was really nervous about travelling back to the airport from Leipzig because I had two changes of trains and the horror stories I've heard of Deutsche Bahn always being late were only adding to it, and that stress somehow triggered some sort of emotional meltdown in me and I realised the trip that I had been waiting for 6 MONTHS was now ending?? there had been so much talk about how we'd "do this and that when we go to Berlin/Leipzig and see BC" and now it's all done and gone and ?????? how does one move on after that 😭

but mostly I've been crying about the gift I gave to Olli 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

some of you have already heard about this, but I had made Olli this pin cushion ring:

...because I wanted to "support his sewing hobby", as I told him then sdhfhdfhfhfh

he seemed to really appreciate it, and as I demonstrated how handy it was (because you can wear it and easily put the pins there while sewing instead of having to reach to a pin cushion further away on the table), he told me he only had this huge pin cushion ("a brick" he called it, the one you can see on this video), and aaaahhhhh I'M SO ANGRY AT MYSELF for not remembering much else or barely daring to even look at him to see his reaction 😭 I do remember he got very excited when he heard he was getting a sewing-related gift though ("yessss" he said, if my memory doesn't fail me too bad) 🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

and I'm so sad I didn't even get a picture of him with it, because Joona the photographer was in the possession of my phone at that moment 😔 and I also forgot to tell him I had made it myself, though I believe it's self-evident. but, you know. still 😭

and the reason why I've been so emotional about it is because I had made the ring weeks ago already, shortly after the album release event, and since then I have admired it every day (because hellooooo is it not the cutest?!) and I had imagined all the scenarios in which I'd give it to him, what I'd say about it and how he'd react to it (I wondered if he'd even know what it was, but of course he immediately recognized it as a pin cushion when I showed it to him 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭), and yesterday it just suddenly hit me that when I'd be back home, the ring would no longer be there on my table for me to admire and hold in my hands, because Olli has it now? it's OLLI'S now, as intented, and yeah idk why but even now, two days later, I'm still literally crying about it as I'm writing this because I had grown strangely attached to that silly trinket and now I'll probably never see it again 🥺😭 (I guess I should just make one for myself too lol, my old one that I made almost 17 years ago is a wee bit shabby)

anyway, if anyone sees him, can you please tell him to take good care of it 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

the world's biggest thanks to everyone who I hung out with on this trip, but especially to @kraeuterhexchen whose stunning art I can now admire in calendar form on my kitchen wall every month of the year (yes I shall keep you updated):

...and to @another-sun the organizer extraordinaire, as well as to my travelling companion @exitemotions (thanks for all the laughs with a touch of chaos in between <3)

here's me with BC again, the only other picture that's not blurry af lol

in conclusion, 🎵 never again, never again 🎵

...until next time 👀

[shrinkthisviolet]

🚥🔨 ✂ 🧜‍♂️📃

🚥: Is there a character choice or plotline that you regret but is now canon and you feel like you can't change it?

Idk if there's a specific one, but if I had the choice to do this over again, I'd write the arcs in order—s1 and then s2. I feel dissatisfied sometimes with the way I wrote certain things in s2 (Barry & Morgan's relationship, for example, not being quite as close-siblings-esque as it is right now), because there were things I hadn't figured out yet. It's not so severe that I feel the need to overhaul it and write it from scratch*, I think I've mostly worked within that limit fairly well, but…even in terms of writing style, you can kinda tell that my writing style improved from s2 to s1…which is sorta the opposite of the effect you want to have 😅 it's not a bad arc by any means, I'm still proud of it (and it's not finished anyway, so it'll still end strong), I just…sometimes I wish I'd written it after s1 instead of before

*however, I probably will end up tweaking part of Morgan's reaction to Barry's paralysis in 2x06 to be more about "oh my god my invincible big brother is paralyzed", not just about "oh my god Zoom is terrifying". And a while back, I did tweak one of the other oneshots in s2, which originally had Iris not knowing Morgan was Sentry (that is obviously not the case anymore, so I edited it). Minor little tweaks like that are ones I might make (and I will undoubtedly recommend rereading the posted fics of the s2 arc once the s1 arc is finished), but overall, I've managed to stay surprisingly in line with the s2 arc so far.

🔨: Are there any whump tropes that you'd love to see your OC's reactions to even though you couldn't or wouldn't put it into your actual story for whatever reason?

Oooh well I'd love for Barry and Morgan to be captured together by Zoom at some point, but idk if it could work. One of them at a time, maybe, but…I don't know if there's really a feasible way to have them both captured while still fitting in with the way s2's plot unfolds (and I do love s2 and its plot for the most part, so I don't want to disrupt it too much…aside from the few divergences I've already planned)

✂: Is there a plotline that you'd planned to write but for whatever reason has been abandoned?

Oooh well back when Barry & Morgan were just friends, not siblings, there was going to be more awkwardness with Henry and Tina dating, due to Barry and Morgan facing the possibility of stepsiblinghood and feeling awkward about it. That still remains in a sense—the awkwardness is just about gaining a stepparent, and not about also gaining a stepsibling. It included the latter originally, but since Barry and Morgan chose each other as siblings as early as 1x14, it would make no sense for them to feel awkward about becoming stepsiblings.

Oh, the consequences of becoming very attached to them 😅 I fast-tracked their sibling dynamic. I don't feel too bad about it though—honestly I can't imagine s1 without their close relationship, and it strengthens 2x06 (Morgan's reaction to Barry's paralysis is no longer just about Zoom, but also about Barry)...and future arcs in the series. I can live with losing part of the "stepfamily adjustment" plotline, because a) I still have part of it anyway and b) Barry & Morgan being this close from so early on is better in the long run

🧜‍♂️: If your OC could choose to be a nonhuman character, what do you think they would choose? If they are a nonhuman character, would they choose to be human or another sort of nonhuman character?

A siren (the aquatic kind specifically)! Morgan had a mermaid fascination phase, and she loves singing. Plus, after making this moodboard + blurb…I'm quite fascinated with the idea myself (siren!Morgan fic one day mayhaps?) 👀

📃: List a few words, without any explanation, that have to do with ideas you have for future stories or chapters that may or may not ever get written.

betrayal, grief, longing, loneliness, family, new beginnings, trust

oc ask game!

Taglist (send an ask or DM to be added or removed):

@arrthurpendragon @ocappreciationtag @raith-way @vexic929 @ironverseocs

@thechaoticfanartist @tempests-of-hope @negative-speedforce @starstruckpurpledragon @angst-is-love-angst-is-life

[queenangst]

imagine if lou failed that charisma saving throw… in a different game, a helpless pinocchio could do nothing but watch the stepmother devour his father.

the fact that, until the reveal, he saw her as his mom?? his complicated, weird mom with a past (“all moms have pasts”)??? hurts. what gets me is that, between looking at the monster that ruined his happy ending and the entity holding his father hostage, he turned to the latter “in the childlike way that Pinocchio is young” because she was his maternal figure.

HE’S JUST A LITTLE BOY I CAN’T

i did have this thought during the episode though, what i'm worried is going to happen is now that pinocchio is presumably free from stepmother's control that she'll just devour or kill geppetto... since pinocchio is no longer useful to her, geppetto isn't useful to her either - since he's always been a tool to keep pinocchio compliant. and since someone brought it up to me, i think geppetto is still alive up to this point, considering it was his blood that boosted pinocchio's powers in episode 4, and she's had no reason to kill him... but now she may not have a reason to keep him alive.

and yeah every episode as we see more and more of pinocchio interacting with stepmother or talking about her my heart really breaks. imo i've been interpreting pinocchio as accepting of his situation because he knows he has to, bc stepmother is 'taking care' of geppetto. some people have said pinocchio is a bit naive or trusting towards stepmother, but i dont think so... i think he just knows his own position with her. you can really see it in e4 when they're talking post-death that... in my opinion, pinocchio is acutely aware of his position and how little power and agency he had at that point. and this episode, when he was talking to miss muffet - he described how it was all or nothing. all responsibility. that how he sees his own story is that he needed to (and was forced to) grow up and that he can't be a little kid and have fun. combined with the times of shadow and how it was so important that pinocchio needed to be able to lie, that he would break off his own nose... is just really awful and telling. and when stepmother gave him pinocchi-crow, partly as a familiar and partly so she could watch him, he admittedly hated it.

but also, he's never had a maternal figure before. he called her mom. he consistently downplayed and left out information about her to his friends (partly, i think, to protect them/to keep his business to himself with geppetto, and partly for her sake, too). i don't think pinocchio loves her, not the way he loves his father. but as he said, she's helped him and given him gifts. she has looked after him to an extent. obviously from the outside this is abuse and manipulation, and pinocchio is aware of some of that, but i think he does care for her in some way.

and ultimately he is a kid. he's just a boy. a boy on strings.

[imtrashraccoon]

And the winner is....

Chocolate!

With Cookie Dough coming in a close second and Oreo in third.

Thank you to everyone who voted! I didn't think even a dozen people would see it, let alone 68! I enjoyed reading the tags of those who reblogged my poll as well!

While I am disappointed I can't write the scene I had in mind for the bubblegum flavour for Bad Sansuary, I will likely save it for a much later chapter in The Nightmare of Apathy as it's too good to scrap completely. Killer gets to be slightly less unhinged, this time...

Updates to my writing projects and Bad Sansuary under the cut so this post isn't too long XD

I have plotted out the entirety of the plot according to the prompts list for Bad Sansuary!

I think it will be fun as well as challenging to actually write, especially as I won't be winging it this time. Though I'm wondering if I should make an introductory post for my headcanons for the boys or if you guys going in blind would be just as fun. Not that there's anything too different from the normal interpretations anyways.

I aim to write the chapters ahead of time again so I have more time to focus on other projects and responsibilities. I plan for them to be longer as well but I'm not promising anything just yet.

I don't have much in the way of other updates, although I am nearly half done writing chapter 2 for The Nightmare of Apathy. The bad news is I probably won't have much time to finish it until the end of January.

I'm also nearly done writing another bonus chapter from the Self-Ship Underfell Papyrus challenge. Remember that? I'd like to post it sooner rather than later but I can't make that promise either.

As for my other projects? Who knows! I work on them whenever I have time and the inspiration. I have not forgotten The Hand We've Been Dealt or Baston and Hemlock, don't worry!

In the meantime, thank you for making this a great latter half of 2023 for me! I never imagined I'd have half as many people reading my garbage writing. Many of you have given me so much inspiration and motivation to keep going.

I'm not far from the 50 follower milestone and I kinda want to do something to celebrate. It depends how quickly it comes though and how busy I am. Still, I appreciate every one of you who read this far!

Thank you for making the end of my year awesome! You've made a raccoon very happy. (⁠つ⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)⁠つ

[thatspiritualbabe]

Date or Wait: The Dilemma of Being in Separation with Your Twin Flame

Hey everyone! So it's been a bit since I last posted. Where do I begin? I've been doing a lot of reflecting lately. As always, I continue to see lots of signs from the Universe. He misses me, he's thinking about me, he loves me, we can't stay apart, he's coming back for good. All very promising things, some of which I've seen evidence of as he continues to watch all of my snap stories. But then it hit me: has it really been a year since all of the problems started with my twin flame?

There is a lot to unpack and eventually I plan to in a much lengthier article on my twin flame journey. In summary, I've dealt with getting the run around when it comes to making plans to see each other in person, opening up only to become avoidant, ghosting after talking everyday for 5 months, reuniting briefly only to be blindsided by a third party (who clearly he had no problem making plans with her--still kinda salty about that not gonna lie). I've had multiple separations and reunions--the latter of which did not live up to expectations. Through my work with spiritual coaches/psychics I've built up the reunion to be my twin flame telling me everything I wanna hear. I am so sorry, I fucked up, I made a huge mistake with her, I love you and you're the only one I want to be with. I expected to get the commitment I always wanted. Instead, the reunions to date have been him trying to be a part of my life without acknowledging what happened, no apology, no commitment, and repeatedly asking can we be friends?? can we be friends?? can we be friends?? I've set boundaries from the day I discovered the third party (3p): no. To my knowledge the last few times he reached out he's been a single man. But it is important to me that he acknowledges what he and I had before the 3p, that he takes accountability for his involvement with 3p, and works with me to find a way to move forward with me after the 3p. And I let him know that. I won't settle for less. It definitely is progress that he's no longer involved with her, and that he's been frantic over losing me (even though he hasn't yet offered the commitment). But until that day comes, we'll remain in separation.

So what's a woman to do? If you're reading this article, you're likely a chaser dealing with some twin flame pain yourself. You can't deny how drawn you are to your twin, even when apart. The runner feels it too, but because your twin is not as enlightened as you are they will behave in ways that don't make sense logically, and therefore difficult to comprehend. During my first separation after the ghosting incident is when I began to learn about twin flames. I always thought it would be a cut and dry straightforward one and done separation and reunion. So I held onto every sign. I turned away other guys who expressed interest in me because my twin flame is coming back. "Universe, if you're testing me I'm making it clear to you who I want!" Never ever would've expected to reunite only to be confronted with a 3p. Welp. The ghosting was a little over a year ago and the 3p was about 7 months ago.

The twin flame dynamic kinda forces you to tune out logic. If you haven't read my article on how logical societal influence can get to your head check out the link below!

How Societal Influence Makes it Difficult to Navigate a Twin Flame Journey

I'm a hopeless romantic, so of course I still want to believe that one day my twin flame and I will be reunited. I definitely think by dating someone else he can learn I'm the only one for him (though it really fucken hurts that it happened). But I can't deny while I'm waiting on that ultimate fairytale reunion, I'm putting my wants and needs on hold. I'm not in a relationship. I'm not going on dates. I'm not having sex. Would it really be the end of the world if I did those things with a man who's not my twin flame? Would I be happier if my wants and needs were being met now?

I recently was diagnosed with cancer, and although the type I have is treatable and I'm optimistic about my prognosis, it's impossible to hear the word cancer and not worry about your mortality, and all you still wish to accomplish. Suddenly you wonder will I ever be in a relationship again? Get married? Have children? and then maybe it doesn't make sense to put all of your eggs in one basket. Life is too short.

I've debated waiting for my twin and dating other men for quite sometime now and I come to a different conclusion every time. I can't tell you what to do; you know yourself best. But I've wanted to share my experiences to show you you're not alone on this journey. So today I tell you this: I still love my twin flame, and I still hope we'll reconnect in the way I want someday. I want to see everything the universe, spiritual coaches, and psychics said would happen unfold in real time. But, also another amazing man has messaged me, and I am learning to embrace male attention again after being hurt, go with the flow and see where it leads. I wonder what tomorrow will bring. :)

I'm rooting for you, beautiful souls!! If you made it this far, thank you for taking the time to read. I appreciate each and every single one of you who has supported me. If you made it this far, also please consider liking, following, and sharing. Even if I reach one person, I'm happy to be helping that one person and making a difference. <3

[ichika27]

OnS Chapter 129

Tumblr making it hard to make a post also made me too lazy to make this. But I want and need to make this cause this is the only way I could do a "read back" of sorts for chapters no longer accessible in mangaplus. Ugh tumblr wtf stop with the stupid updates!

Anyways, title of this chapter is "The First Vampire". More lore stuff!

The others have now realized that their king might have done a very bad thing.

Shika Madu utters an apology to everyone as large, powerful bolts of light destroy the tower.

An angel appears to tell Shika Madu of God's disappointment at what has been done. Shika Madu pleads and ask he be the only one to suffer as the other had nothing to do with the ritual he was trying to do but the angel said Earth is also done for and with a snap of his fingers, what appears to be balls of fire started raining down.

Amon gets saved by another angel while someone else tells him to go to where their king is. Even after everything, they still see Shika Madu's safety as their top priority. Everyone else around Amon is dying from the rain of fire as he runs of to get to their king.

Shika Madu is angry at what's happening but he is told he could only blame himself for this. He still pleads for everyone else to be spared but it doesn't work as he's told that even their souls would be left to suffer in hell.

Oh, and one last cruel thing the angel does is leave Amon alive just to kill him in front of Shika Madu to show the latter how much he fucked up. When everyone else had finally been killed, the angel tells the others to focus their lightning solely on Shika Madu.

After everything he'd been through and while he's still being burned in lightning, Shika Madu asked to just be killed. Unfortunately, he's informed that he's now basically immortal so he could suffer alone for eternity.

With their jobs finished, the others leave for Paradise. Shika Madu has a message to be passed on to God but he's denied and told that as a sinner, his words would never reach God's ears.

And so Shika Madu was left to burn... and burn.

There's like two timeskips: one says a millenia has passed and another just said "more time...". Shika Madu thinks it's been tens of thousands of years. In the end he's just... sitting there burning until he finally accepted what he's done to deserve all this.

Something happened and he started to feel better and even used his power to shieled himself from the sunlight.

And homonculus Yuu is alive! He saw everything (he didn't show up until now though, wtf?). Shika Madu still plans on bringing everyone back from the dead but he now has no tower to collect the light he needed and even if he did, he's an undead now so he can't use the power of light anymore.

Homonculus Yuu also still has angel Mikaela in a coffin and it's revealed Shika Madu had some kind of backup plan: all the power he needed? Mikaela has them in the form of keys (the ones Ferid was collecting in the present time) but in order to use them, Mikaela has to be revived first.

He then decided to play God since it's the only way to collect the darkness he needed (like how God has the angels to collect light). Using homonculus Yuu, he created a human as he can't make angels.

I guess this would be the first "Yuu-chan"?

Mika and Yuu are here! I guess they weren't there the entire time (That'd have been boring to watch just one guy burn for a millenia). They're confused as well if the homonculus Yuu is Yuu-chan's first incarnation or if it's the newly created human.

Another one popped out and this one looks like a Mika except it's a girl it seems.

And then more were created.

Shika Madu uses his power so that the souls of the dead angels would occupy the new humans as he'd need them to collect darkness.

The new human Yuu sees angel Mikaela's coffin looks inside. He then starts to answer as if he's talking to someone. Mika and Yuu sees this and realized something but looking back, it seems Shika Madu himself hasn't noticed yet.

The new Yuu finds out that his new friend is dead and can't play with him.

Mika and Yuu are confused as to how the other two could converse. Mika thinks that since this is part of Yuu's memories, Yuu should know what the other two are talking about. Yuu is having trouble though and the newborn Yuu says something... unexpected.

It seems angel Mikaela told him to let himself get possessed or something and the newborn Yuu says yes without hesitation.

Once past Yuu gets possessed, current Yuu finally remembers: he's Mikaela.

--

Tumblr's new post editor is making things so difficult. I have trouble rearranging the images and coupled with a faulty mouse, I was about to lose my patience lol.

Okay, I felt bad for Shika Madu, not gonna lie. He did care a lot for his subjects and would've wanted to get punished on his own but of course, he's the king so everyone under him would get in trouble, too. That last one was also cruel with the other angel letting Amon get close enough for Shika Madu to watch him die.

Was the dinosaurs and other prehistoric creatures die in that rain of fire? Is this how the lore of our planet went in this universe? lol

So he gets punished by being left an immortal who burns in the sun. It seems he's been continuously burning for years, too (I found the timeskip funny, I'm sorry. Also, did it never become nighttime at all where he is?). He finds a way to finally become immune for a bit (like a magic sunscreen) and so he's become a "vampire" in a way (no word on if he nees blood yet here).

He ends up creating humans as he's not permitted to create angels like God does. At first I thought this might mean he's the "God" of this world's humans but he knows what humans are before he made some so there are probably humans who already existed at this point and he just mass produced more for his own need.

There's multiple Yuus now. It'd be confusing if the next couple of chapters would still show the past so if it ever happens, I'm gonna have to use nicknames for them to differentiate. Also, I love how Mika and Yuu-chan (I'm just gonna call our Yuu this as it's his nickname anyways) seem to just accept how weird things are getting in their commentaries. I love their interactions.

Speaking of the new humans, they all seem to have their own personalities (or they were about to have them) but then Shika Madu had the souls of his dead angels occupy them and suddenly there's a change as shown when human Yuu (the new one) reacted when a soul entered his body.

Okay, so there were lots of angels in the angel city but there can't have been a really huge amount of them so I'm guessing the amount of new humans made also had a limit and was just enough to house each angel soul. Angel Mika seem to have his own stuck in his dead body since human Yuu got to "talk" to him. They already have a connection but since human Yuu talked to him after getting possessed by an angel already, is this connection with human Yuu himself or was it with the angel possessor and if it's the latter, which angel was it?

We can only see half of the convo since we could only see human Yuu's side but it feels like angel Mika isn't as hesitant to use others if needed. I mean he's asking for human Yuu's body to use when I think current Mika wouldn't want to do that to anyone. But human Yuu immediately agrees and so angel Mika does it (which means either there're now two angel souls in human Yuu or angel Mika's soul kicked out the previous one).

And finally, they're starting to explain the "Mikaela" thing. The new humans are capable of being possessed by angel Mika probably cause Shika Madu and homonculus Yuu made them. He wasn't paying attention so there's a chance Shika Madu didn't even know that at this point yet. The human Yuu is the first one to try and was the only one who could right now since unline the other new humans, he was the only one who could "hear" angel Mika. Anyways, I'm guessing that's why this memory seem to be a shared one between Yuu-chan and Mika's because it, in a way, is.

Theory that the souls of Shika Madu's precious subordinates are also compatible with new humans who are their look-alikes but it's not a prefect reincarnation where they are themselves from the past which is probably why Shika Madu doesn't care much for them.

That said, another Shika Madu-Guren parallel: they both want to do the ritual correctly in order to bring back their people: the angels for Shika Madu and the humans for Guren. It's probably why letting Mika live and having the keys would probably help revive the angels for Shika Madu while killing Mika and having the keys would let Guren revive the humans.

Well, that was long. I better read the next chapters before I get too lazy to make another post and the chapters get wiped by mangaplus.

[continent-of-wild-endeavor]

I posted 414 times in 2022

174 posts created (42%)

240 posts reblogged (58%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@continent-of-wild-endeavor

@kaiyonohime

@saxifraga-x-urbium

@roboticchibitan

@cataouatche

I tagged 390 of my posts in 2022

Only 6% of my posts had no tags

#fiber arts - 53 posts

#art - 34 posts

#knitting - 33 posts

#dogs - 31 posts

#garden2022 - 28 posts

#needlework - 28 posts

#my dogs - 27 posts

#omie - 24 posts

#bloomhaven - 22 posts

#tag thing - 14 posts

Longest Tag: 122 characters

#the fuckin almond monocultures are massively unsustainable and a huge part of the beekeeping industry is built around that

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Snow bunnies enjoying snacks from the yard.

1,031 notes - Posted January 23, 2022

#4

If you imagine a system in which everybody has access to healthcare, and you reject that idea in favor of the current system because you think it would cause long wait times for care, then we are just coming from very different places on "what would be a good way to run society".

Like there are big conversations to be had about whether it would increase wait times, and how we could structure it to avoid or reduce that problem, but if it takes longer to get care, but everyone can get it? That sounds better. That would be a better way to do things.

You're saying you don't want other people to have any, because then you'd have to have less. Given a theoretical choice between a system that's not ideal but does serve everyone, and one that serves some well and some not at all, you prefer the latter.

1,276 notes - Posted January 18, 2022

#3

A moment for a petty complaint:

When people are explaining how to weave in ends, in a tutorial or any video, and they say to "just follow the path of the yarn" or "double the stitches" and then proceed to do THIS

That's a valid way to weave in your ends, assuming your yarn is wooly enough to not slip and it won't be super visible, but that's simply not what you've described.

See the full post

1,467 notes - Posted November 30, 2022

#2

I read somewhere that older ppl in cultures where squatting is more common than sitting in chairs can still comfortably squat, deeply & for long times, whereas what American over 50 can do that and not hurt

It's like a "use it or lose it" thing, so I made sure to spend some time squatting, getting up and down, and it did get easier, though I still can't do it like my little nieces, who can read a book on their knees, but I'm gonna maintain my mobility in this at least

And now it's a nice way to take a break from standing for a bit, or it's the easiest way to do something brief & near the ground, but this is still not what American adults usually do

So sometimes I'm just this strange 30 something woman squatting by the farmstand peeling a peach. And I never think it's an odd thing to do until someone else does.

1,996 notes - Posted July 24, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I was reading a post about dipping baby carrots in ranch, and it reminded me of what I've previously described as an Additive vs. Subtractive approach to nutrition.

The Subtractive view looks at all the things you're currently eating, or might eat in a given day, and sees a pile of Bad Stuff, with probably some Good Stuff mixed in, which would be better if only you could clean off and remove the Bad. The Unhealthy, the Fattening. So this outlook sees the carrots as Good, and that ranch is Bad, so in order to eat well, the thing to do is remove the ranch.

(I fear I've gotten in too deep with capitalizing Things for Emphasis, so I'm going to back off on that now. You get the point - foods are not *actually* fundamentally good or bad, they are just categorized that way.)

Dipping carrots in ranch is not a healthy food choice, because the ranch is unhealthy. The ranch has "cancelled out" the carrots, by adding all that fat and processed sugar & stuff, so it would be better not to have eaten that at all. Subtractive nutrition is very concerned with lessening the Bad things: calories, fats, trans fats, processed ingredients, carbs, sugar, salt, meat, non-organic foods - whatever their current trend of "healthy eating" says will kill you.

On the other hand, the Additive view (which I think is more sensible) looks at the carrots & ranch snack and says, you ate some carrots! Carrots are objectively good for you, and you got that nutrition into your body. Good job! Sure, you also ate ranch, which nobody thinks is a health food, but a) the carrots are still definitely in there, nourishing you, and b) the ranch made you more likely to eat them, and enjoy them, and so eat them again in the future. Ranch also provides essential nutrients, regardless of whether it's the ~optimal~ way to get them.

Additive nutrition looks at your day and sees what nutrients you consumed, any that are helpful. Any good choices you make, regardless of if there are also bad ones. What's good, and maybe let's not go overboard on "Bad" stuff if we're really worried about it, but what did you eat that helped you? Eat food that serves you, and if you can put in more good things that's great! But if you have ice cream afterwards, it doesn't rip the kale out of your stomach. It just means you had ice cream today, and also you had kale.

And while Additive thinking helps with motivation, because it gives you little mental gold stars for lots of things, and doesn't take any away or call for shame if you do eat all the nachos, it really comes into play in decisionmaking, and weighing options. Subtractive thinking says, don't eat broccoli with cheese sauce, the sauce is bad for you. Just eat the broccoli, plain, steamed, with maybe a little low-salt seasoning mix. But let's be real - you're not going to do that. Or at least, not very often, not if you're starting from "I don't like broccoli unless it's covered in cheese sauce". Subtractive thinking says take ALL the bad stuff out, and make only the Correct choices, and then you're being healthy. Otherwise you might as well not have bothered.

Additive nutritional thinking says the broccoli with cheese sauce is adding broccoli to your diet where it would not otherwise have been. It's not a choice between plain broccoli and cheesy broccoli, not really. Really the choice is, do I add some broccoli to my diet today, along with tasty sauce, or do I not eat broccoli at all, because that's what I would be doing otherwise?

10,113 notes - Posted January 3, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[copperbora]

I really appreciate this post too; this is the first time that it has flickered across my radar. I often feel invisible, or like a dog barking at the wind.

Due to my neurodivergence I struggle with bathing and cleaning my room; honestly I usually only manage to do the latter maybe once or twice a year. ADHD makes menial chores like taking a shower stupidly difficult; to my brain showers seem to take absolute hours which could be spent on far more interesting things (my hyperfixations rule me like tyrants that toss out fistfuls of the most delicious candy constantly which I can't help but lap up.)

Right now, I haven't showered in weeks. I thought that perhaps I'd get better at showering after my poor mom passed away last month before her time and she didn't need it at any second in an instance but I'm currently alone in my house, have been for hours, and no shower has taken place, nor will it. It took me years to understand why showering is such a struggle for me and this year I finally had to find a new version of selfcare which is more acceptable for my neurodivergent brain.

Back when my hair was longer (right now it is shorn in grief,) I brushed it out with spray-in cat shampoo - it worked! Also: combing with a good metal comb and wiping my skin down with a warm, damp, soapy facecloth is soothing as well as effective. Hygiene doesn't have to look the same for everybody.

Using a gentle kids' flouride mouthwash instead of brushing my teeth, because science hasn't so far shown brushing to actually make a difference anyway. (Flossing, using flouride and eating less sugar does though. I struggle with the latter. I'm still eating my feelings a little and my incompetent thyroid doesn't help.) Using kids dental hygiene products because the harsh menthol in most adult ones burn my mouth, making toothcare prohibitively painful.

There's more but it's a stretch enough just talking about these things. I always feel like people think me a fruitcake when they hear that I struggle with these things that are so easy for everyone else.

My poor mom who once hiked more than 20 kilometres at a time in a day over rough terrain spent her final years gradually becoming more and more physically disabled. In the end she could no longer even get up. To all the other disabled souls out there: I see you and I will hold the door open for you should we ever meet in person. Being us is so hard. I send you love and hugs from afar. Being gaslit is the worst.

shout out to “gross” disabled people.

people who can’t shower/bathe people who can’t shave people who can’t wash their clothes people who need help going to the bathroom people who have nasty habits (biting nails, picking nose, etc) people who can’t brush their teeth people who can’t go to the doctor people who can’t clean their room people who can’t make their beds people who vomit a lot people who wet the bed people who constantly have diarrhea people who’s physical deformities are seen as repulsive

and every other kind of person I missed that deserves to be here too.

you are people, first and foremost. your thoughts deserve to be heard, discussed, acknowledged, no matter what. you are not lesser. you are just another person. you should never be ignored for what you can/can’t do. you deserve care.

to abled people: check yourself. make sure you listen. and you can reblog, just don’t derail. maybe don’t add on, either.

[tehuti88-art]

7/19/24: r/SketchDaily theme, "Free Draw Friday." This week's characters from my anthro WWII storyline are Rebekkah Schindel, without head covering and with head covering, and Hanna Schindel. They're the wife and young daughter of Isaak Schindel, who I never posted here but he's in my art blog (1/27/23). Rebekkah is pregnant when her husband is imprisoned for defending them so he doesn't get to meet Hanna until much later. There'll be more about them later in my art Tumblr and Toyhou.se.

Regarding their design: Rebekkah is a German spaniel and always wears the head kerchief out in public. Hanna is nearsighted and wears really oversized, secondhand spectacles since they're poor; Isaak is a boxer (uh, the dog, not the profession), so Hanna takes after both parents. Her design's a bit iffy but she's kind of an awkward-looking kid so maybe it fits.

TUMBLR EDIT: Most of Rebekkah's and Hanna's part of the story has already been outlined in Isaak Schindel's entry; Schindel himself is the primary character of the trio, so their background details are mostly undeveloped. The rest of this entry will be written individually to avoid repetition.

Not much to say about Hanna, she's just a little kid. I'm unsure of her age as I'm unsure how long her father spends in the labor camp, though she's likely older than I had originally envisioned, as it seems Schindel ends up in the camp not long after(?) Dannecker takes over, which is pretty early on, and remains until Reinhardt orders the gates opened as Allied forces are taking the city. Given the extended timeline of the war in my story, this could be up to around ten years or so. (I know inmates of camps often didn't survive beyond a few weeks to a few months. Schindel remains alive for as long as he does as he serves as kapo, so he isn't starved (too much), beaten, or worked to death, or executed.)

My brain doesn't picture Hanna as that old, so, maybe, as I mentioned, this is partly due to her just being awkward looking. I originally imagined her as blond, but that makes no sense, perhaps my mind just conflated her with another Jewish child character who IS young and blond, Gabriele Zweifel. In any case, no matter what her age, Hanna is half German spaniel, half boxer, though takes largely after her father Isaak. Her boxer features are prominent, including a bit of an underbite, a snubbish nose, more rust/tan-colored fur, black hair, and a short, chunky build. (Schindel is stocky and short, shorter even than Rebekkah, but physically strong.) The features she inherits from her mother, meanwhile, are her lack of black facial mask, somewhat longer fur on her ears and maybe tail, and her curly hair. Her eyes are sort of halfway between her mother's golden-brown and her father's hazel, though closer to the latter. Her hair isn't very long, and she wears these big, goofy-looking spectacles as she's quite nearsighted (her mother frets over her odd behavior when she's still barely more than a baby, until a doctor friend determines that Hanna simply can't see well, and gives her an old pair of adult spectacles to use until the family can come out of hiding and get a proper checkup), so she's definitely not very feminine or girlish; she might even be a bit of a tomboy. Still, when Rebekkah invites her estranged husband back home to stay (see HER ENTRY), and Hanna hugs her father for the first time, Schindel rubs tears from his eyes and tells Rebekkah that she's beautiful and "takes after you," to which Rebekkah tearfully smiles and says, "I thought she takes after you." "Doesn't matter," Schindel replies, "she's beautiful."

Obviously, both mother and father care for her deeply, and endanger their own lives to keep her safe. Schindel takes increasingly shady and dangerous jobs to provide for his pregnant wife while they're still living in the ghetto, accidentally kills a ghetto policeman while defending Rebekkah and is caught while she escapes, and then assumes the detestable role of Lagerälteste, or kapo, while in the camp--keeping his fellow prisoners in line, and often intimidating or even beating them--on the orders of the commandant, Ernst Dannecker. (This job entitles him to a better bunk, food, clothing, and treatment from the SS, yet doesn't quite excuse him from Dannecker's psychological torture.) His antagonistic duties lessen under Dannecker's replacement, Hasso Reinhardt, who often puts him to work running errands within the administration building, and treats him so much more favorably than Dannecker did that Schindel remains behind when a wounded Reinhardt orders the gates opened, and tries to protect him from the arriving Allied troops. Reinhardt ends up having to vouch for Schindel, as the soldiers can't believe an inmate would stick around to try to help the commandant; Schindel actually bursts into tears when Reinhardt is taken into Allied custody as a war criminal and taken away. He's soon set free after it's determined that he's indeed a prisoner, yet it's a while before he can return to Rebekkah and Hanna, due to the harsh stigma against him for his own wartime activities; he nearly commits suicide, yet decides instead to find a job and try to keep going until he might get a second chance to reconcile with Rebekkah.

Rebekkah, meanwhile, is the brains who helps plot out her and her husband's half-successful escape from the ghetto--at Schindel's request, as he knows she's "the smart one"--and, near term, she has to go on the run without him, and then into hiding with extended family, throughout the war. Acquaintances on the outside help provide for her and Hanna, once she's born, and keep the family informed; through them Rebekkah learns of Schindel's "promotion" in the camp. She's overjoyed to learn that he's alive, yet distraught to learn at what price; similar to Schindel, the thought of Hanna needing her is largely what keeps her going, so both parents, despite the distance between them, keep their daughter in mind as their motivation. Rebekkah manages to keep Hanna safe until the war's end, when friends provide her with funding and the two move into a tiny house in a newly constructed neighborhood near the city's edge. After she reconciles with her husband, he moves in and provides for the little family with his typesetting job.

Hanna is active and curious, doesn't talk much (another reason I imagined her as a lot younger), but is quite affectionate and emotionally demonstrative with her parents; i. e., she's a hugger. Loves hugging. I guess this is how she best communicates. Perhaps she has some sort of mild(?) learning/developmental issue (a thought just struck me, she reminds me somewhat of children I've encountered with Down syndrome--they were always the nicest, sweetest kids I met, just utterly accepting, unlike most of my peers); she's not stupid, but she's not bright, either. Yet she's very sweet, loves exploring the world around her, and hugs her parents frequently, including her mother while she's preparing supper ("Liebling, you have to let me work!" Rebekkah protests), and her father when he leaves for work early every morning (Schindel never, ever protests, just hugs her as tight as he can in return--"My sweet little Hanna! Be good to your Mutter, ja?"). She's definitely a daddy's girl, and Schindel doesn't mind that at all, no matter how odd looking or acting she is, he adores her to bits.

I don't think the Schindels ever have any other children; I'm pretty sure Hanna is an only child. I imagine Rebekkah feels wistful about this, having wanted a big family no matter how impoverished they may have once been (they're better off after the war than before, but are never well off), though Schindel is happy and content as they are: "We have the perfect daughter, the perfect family, what more do we need...?" And indeed, when Hanna pops back into the room, hands dirty from digging in the dirt, and soils both parents' clothes while throwing her arms around them--"Ah!--Hanna Liebling!--my dress!" Rebekkah exclaims, trying, and failing, not to laugh, while Schindel hugs her back and gets ink on her--they have to agree, their family, while small, is just perfect.

[Hanna Schindel 2024 [‎Friday, ‎July ‎19, ‎2024, ‏‎12:00:33 AM]]

[fyrefrostanimus]

Nightmare'd Evans

Even if these designs are nowhere near done (the only two designs of ANY of the Nightmares I have completely sketched are Nightmare Fredbear and Nightmare himself) I might as well post what I have as of Halloween!

So I always thought that Evan (or Chris, as he was known as for the longest time) ended up trapped in nightmare purgatory for some reason. Only when GoldenDuo came along did I really change my mind, but I still really like the idea even though he's my favorite character in FNaF. I guess that if I love a character, I make their life hell.

I already had a self-indulgent AU where the Nightmares stopped messing with him after a while (he no longer had a heartbeat, and that's what mostly got their attention). But I never really considered what would have happened in that context if he'd managed to get close to one of them. Really the little sketch I did of Nightmarionne Evan made me think about that and I decided to at least do the rest of the Nightmares (maybe the Jack-O's in November? still pumpkin pie season then) with that idea with some trivia about each one because I overthink this stuff a lot.

Should be very obvious that these aren't meant as canon. They're goofy little sketches that may end up as part of an AU. Who knows honestly.

There's going to be exposed bone/muscle in some of these and a fair bit of body horror at the end, but I'll put those under a cut since it's a minority compared to the rest.

Nightmare Chica'd Evan

Since I wanted to base Nightmare Chica in general on a velociraptor/vaguely raptor-like dinosaur, I could go absolutely nuts with this design. The main decision for Evan's design based on her was "does he have full hands connected to his arm wings or does he just have a widdle thumb that can't do much or anything?". I ended up settling for the latter because it's just funny to me.

Trivia

Evan can't fly but he sure thought he could at first. He's kinda peeved that he lost access to his fingers but isn't able to fly but he's at least figured out how to pick up a crayon and draw.

Those sharp claws on his feets can do serious damage so don't piss him off or scare him. Luckily he's more apt to bite.

Bouncing off that last point, being like this (like a lot of the other Nightmare'd designs) affects his fight-or-flight response. Here, Evan's more likely to defend himself with a bite before recoiling and asking himself what he just did.

Nightmare Bonnie'd Evan

I've always been iffy on the basic design for Nightmare Bonnie in general, since unlike the others there's no real inspiration you can draw from. There's Monty Python and the Holy Grail's killer rabbit, but he already has the personality and I wanted to keep the canon color scheme. The problem wasn't Evan's design but just Bonnie's.

Trivia

Evan can jump pretty high/far with the rabbit legs, so he can get around fast. You'd lose track of him easy and that's how he'll manage to spook you.

He will hear you coming. Don't even attempt to sneak up behind him because those radar dishes on his head will pick up on where you are and he'll look.

He has funny little fangies that often stick out of the corners of his mouth since they're too big to hide completely while also being comfortable for him.

Evan's much more likely to kick. With how strong his legs are it could break a bone if it hits the right spot. (He's basically a kangaroo)

Nightmare Freddy'd Evan

Not much to say here except that this would probably be the 2nd/3rd most easy Nightmare'd version for Evan to access. If he cuddles up with the Freddles enough he's pretty much just another of them.

Trivia

The tiny bear poof tail Evan has does wag when he's happy but you can only see it from behind.

Evan's main response to fear remains to curl up into a ball and cry. The difference is that you now have to deal with the papa bear.

Nightmare Fredbear'd Evan

The first complete sketch of the group! Another that would be pretty easy for Evan to access (mainly because these two are pretty closely connected with Nightmare Fredbear coming from Evan's fear of Fredbear). I kept Nightmare Fredbear's design close to canon, since I really liked most of the elements of his design and thought they made sense.

Trivia

Evan is really uncomfortable the mouth on his stomach. It doesn't do much, but he probably finds some way to tape it shut so he doesn't have to think about it.

His neck fluff is nice and warm, at least that's a plus.

Evan doesn't really have much of a fear response like this. He may jump a bit, but it's not something big like the other Nightmare'ds.

Nightmare'd Evan

How would Evan even get to this point, to be honest? Design-wise, I decided that Nightmare as a representation of death from the Bite of '83 was a good basis, but I'm not much of a fan of the semi-transparency with a brain inside. It's a cool detail but it's not my cup of tea. But since I can make my own design, I went for a tooth-centric idea. Unlike Nightmare Fredbear, Nightmare doesn't have an extra mouth: he just has a lot of teeth growing out of him like horns, spikes, or sometimes even armor. The head teeth specifically resemble a crown for the heck of it.

Trivia

Evan's little tooth crown is made up of basically baby teeth! If he were still aging they would probably fall out and grow bigger full-size ones, but that's not happening. Only the canines are actually long enough to show through his fluffy hair.

He has longer claws than the other Nightmare'ds, not counting Foxy's hook-claws.

He has two rows of teeth. It's definitely hard to see but they're there and they're still pretty sharp despite being smaller.

Evan defaults to intimidation in this design. He's a little to small to accomplish that, but he tries and that's what matters.

And now we're onto the one with exposed muscle/bone and body horror. The body horror is lower down, but both have the formerly mentioned anatomical attributes.

Nightmare Foxy'd Evan

You know how Nightmare Freddy and Nightmare Fredbear are tied/undecided on 2nd/3rd place? First place of easiest to access actually goes to Nightmare Foxy. Headcanon in this case is that so much of Nightmare Foxy's behavior comes from being jumpscared by an actual person that he feels compassion to a degree, so there's your explanation. Only other addition is that Nm. Foxy's eye covering is torn bedsheets.

Trivia

Evan has slightly longer claws on the hand where Nightmare Foxy's hook is than on the other hand.

He has catlike pupils that contract into slits when you shine a light into them suddenly. He hates sudden bright flashes since it screws up his vision for a bit afterwards.

The lack of skin around his mouth and only having the muscles needed to open and close his jaws makes him really bad at showing facial expressions (His remaining eye can still squint/close). Just look at the ears and tail to tell: he's like a dog.

He got the long tongue and has managed to stick it in his nose hole once. He hasn't done that since getting weird looks from everyone around him.

Evan's more likely to run like this. It's in Foxy's general nature to run around, so he probably has high energy (he'd love playing tag if anyone would end up visiting).

Nightmare Mangle'd Evan

It's body horror time again, folks! I guess getting bold for day 27 of Apoctober and attempting three heads paid off, since it makes drawing two easier. I knew I wanted Nightmare Mangle's design in general to look plain wrong. Mangle got screwed up in Kid's Cove, so why would the nightmare realistic version look any sort of normal? The heads aren't "one fox and one endo" but I thought the funhouse mirror/old circus freakshow idea fit the rather bright white-and-pink color better than anything else here.

Trivia

Evan definitely hates this Nightmare'd version the most. Sure, he doesn't like having a mouth on his stomach when he's Nightmare Fredbear'd, but a mouth that doesn't really do anything is way better than a whole other head that's essentially a younger brother attached to his body (on other terms, he's starting to understand why Michael didn't like being stuck watching him all day every day). And we haven't talked about the awkward way one of his legs splits at the knee (at least I think it's the knee but it's digitigrade legs and I can't quite tell), resulting in two other legs: one under his control, and the other under control of his other head. Plus the third arm pokes him in the face a lot and he can't actually stop it from trying.

His shirt actually rips when he ends up in this form, although if he were to switch to any other form somehow it would mend (ghost logic).

If you thought Nightmare Foxy'd Evan was bad at facial expressions, now he can't even blink so you have to rely on just body language to tell how he's feeling if he doesn't tell you.

If scared, Evan will just freeze and shiver like a chihuahua. He can't run as well, so maybe you won't see him if he doesn't move?

TL;DR please help him he wants some cuddles

If you have any questions about these, please ask. I'd love to talk about them or put them in silly situations (or just draw them in general).

[thatonesongyouretryingtoremember]

✨️intro post✨️

I edit this over time so please check it kinda often for updates esp the last part with some posts I really like/ that I used real life braincells on, and the beginning for if I add more sideblogs. If you have LITERALLY ANY other questions not answered here, shoot me an ask in my inbox and I will probably answer. If I think it's in good faith but poor taste I'll just say that, so if you're being nice I won't be mad or at least I'll like the attention :3

I'm thatonesongyouretryingtoremember. Song for short and OneSong for long. Or Remy??? I use all pronouns or it/it's. My other blogs are @aroasexualboypussy which is a regular sideblog where I keep fandom rbs besides my own fandoms and spam rbs and @jupiter-jayfield-official which is a Mikhailgate blog/El appreciation blog kinda.I also made a blog called @twasagraveyardsmash and that's my "music blog" aka rambling, keysmashing, and reblogging about music I like, someone likes, or my other music- related posts. I have another ST rp blog as Max- @madmaxmayfield71 , and at some point I started a blog called @byler-freeze-book with the intention of it being a byler tag positivity blog but it kinda flopped. You can still send asks there tho <2 @angelbymadonna is my art blog. I also have a Miraculous roleplay blog as Zoe's superhero form, Vesperia @the-real-bee-holder-vesperia

Tumblr-spouse to @exhausted-enby-vibes <2, coparent of Mikhail Max

My blog used to have this glitch where it was hidden, but I didn't do anything to cause that, so if you see smthng lemme know. I also am still confused by tags on here, so lemme know if I tag something wrong. I also reblog most of the art I see, but I don't always know who's in it, so if I end up reblogging a problematic fanart on accident (which I haven't done yet) lemme know as well.

Hashtags I use

#song spouts bullshit, shitposts/non-ST posts

#song says a smart thing, new tag I'm gonna put on longer posts

#songs textpost bullshit, or #song's textpost bullshit, original textpost memes and meme formats

#artist song, my original art [find it on my art blog as well, linked above] [includes ficlets and visual art, the latter with image description]

#song's st rewatch, details and commentary while I watch the show!

#angela is jane, #angela ives, a theory I elaborate on further down in this post

Blog type/ content (I say content, what I mean is it's what my blog contains. It's for me, not you.)

I'll talk about my ST stuff first since that's what I'm primarily posting rn. I'm a fandom blog and will be for the foreseeable future. As far as ST, I have alot of ship content, but in my other fandoms I don't care as much about shipping. You can ask me about fandoms/media I like maybe :)

I ship elmax, byler, Lumax, hopclair, elumax, jargyle, jancy, Boyce, jopper, boycer, duzie, and a few other things. I also reblog some ronance, steddie, byclair etc content as well. My favorite ST character is Kali. Occasionally you'll see my blog possessed by the soul of a Kali disciple or elmax fangirl. I also some fandom posts besides my own if I'm reblogging art from my mutuals' reblogs ofc.

I post a bunch of shitposts about Stranger Things, and longposts related to theories or analysis I'm into at the time.

I am still not over Mikhailgate, btw. Even though I personally think Mikhail ships byler, alot of my mikhailgate content is willhail.

I also read KotLC, riordanverse (I've read 1-14 of chb chronicles and most of 15 and obv not Chalice yet, 1-2 Kane Chronicles, 1-3 mcga, and none of the spinoffs so far. Can't wait for the show!), and I watch The Owl House, Dragon Prince, and She-Ra 2018. I'm not as avidly in fandom for these but I like them. If there's something else you think I might like or don't know if I've seen/read, lemme know! At the time I'm writing this update, I'm sorry into Miraculous Ladybug! but I haven't seen the second half of S5 yet.

Stuff I want you to know

I have a detailed post about the history of mikhailgate.

My Spotify has tons of character playlists!

I have a theory about Kali's time at the lab which is actually a thinly disguised rant about her halfway finished arc.The theory is ass and I no longer believe it, but the rant still stands and I still believe she has more to offer.

^^pretty obviously not gonna happen but I like to keep it up :) it's an old theory that I no longer believe but I still think she should be in the next szn!!!

I wrote a thing about the Material Girl shopping sequence aka about El my beloved nobody else understands her <2.

Nancy and Steve are aromantic. (Check the respective tags as well, I have more)

Byler Week 2022

I'm right about El, nobody else. Jk but here's my super smart ST5 prediction! Aka thinly disguised El Hopper fangirl rant😅😅

Once again I'm the only correct person (/nsrs) so here's the official list my take of the party's riordanverse godly parents

Check out this post and this one and this one to start learning about the theory that Angela is the real Jane Ives!

There are tags for it too, #angela is jane, and #angela ives, make sure to check them out because there is always new input! This is related to the theories that El is actually not Terry's daughter, that El *is* Edward Creel's daughter (I'm not the guy to ask about those, shoot me an ask and I'll tell you who tho!) And that multiple timelines exist within what we see of Stranger Things!