#still can't believe it's been like 8 years since i watched this series

[deliciousangelfestival]

Switched Sides 1 - Lloyd Hansen Series

Character: Lloyd Hansen x former Hitman!FemaleReader

Summary: Y/N L/N quit her job as a hitman to take care of her nephew after her stepbrother died. It’s been a year since she became a good aunt to her nephews, and she wants to keep it that way. But her quiet life got disturbed when her former boss asked for her help.

Warning: Nothing

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4 , Last Chapter

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The pendulum bar of the metronome kept moving left and right. This object has helped to calm her anxiety and nightmare. Because of her former job as a hitman, her ears become sensitive to sounds. 

Y/N L/N, 37 years old, is a former hitman. Code name ‘Antartica’. She quit her job after she met her stepbrother for the first time in 8 years.

'Ring!'

The alarm from her phone reminded her it was 5 a.m. The ringtone made Y/N jump out of her bed and went to the bathroom to wash her face and teeth. 

At 5.15 am, she went to the first door beside her room to have a quick inspect before jogging on the treadmill.

She ensured her footsteps weren't loud, so the little one inside the crib won't wake. 

Y/N looked down and saw a cute toddler in his onesie with a little blanket covering his little body. 

'He is still asleep; that's great.'

Then she carefully moves to another room to see another kid. She opened the door and saw the teenage boy still asleep. 

'Good.'

If anyone ever told her, she would become an aunt she would laugh at them. 

But after Y/N became the legal guardian for his stepbrother's kids, the earth would turn to hell if anyone tried to hurt her nephew. 

After ensuring everyone was still asleep, she did a quick workout by running on the treadmill. 

At 6.30 a.m. After she showered, she knocked on the door of the oldest to wake him up. 

Then she went to the youngest, Kendall L/N, 2 years old, and brought him down with her so she could watch him while she was making breakfast. 

At 7 a.m., Mark L/N, 9 years old, came down the stairs, yawning, "You could just give me cereal, aunty."

Y/N smiled at him while setting up the table. "It's okay, besides I like to cook."

Mark smiled at her. He wondered how a hitman like her could be gentle and be the best replacement for his parents while he still had other relatives who had normal jobs. 

He never met Y/N, but he always heard the stories of her from his father. Mark's father is a policeman but is proud to have a step-sister who works as a hitman.

-Flashback starts-

Mark finally met Y/N at his father's funeral. She was quiet. None of the relatives want to talk to her. It seems like they are scared of her. She didn't shed a tear but she look so sad looking at his father's coffin.

After the funeral, everyone discussed who would care for him and his youngest brother, none wanted to volunteer. 

Mark heard his relatives murmur:

"If only Mark, I would love to, but the youngest, it would take a lot of work."

"I don't have time to take him to the hospital."

"And he always cried, my children will be angry with me."

"We have to talk about the big elephant in this room. Caring for cancer patients takes a lot of money, and their father didn't leave enough money for Kendall's treatment."

Mark wanted to cry and hide for being useless and couldn't protect his baby brother. He can't believe he heard from his relatives that they will become a new burden.

'SMASH.'

Someone punched the thick mahogany table and made a hole. It was Y/N, his aunt. 

"I will take care of them."

When he saw the ruined table and his relatives scared looking at Y/N, he felt somewhat relieved because someone defended him.

It was awkward at first, but her habits were the same as his father's. The way she cleaned up the house, cooked everything, and her perfume was the same as his father's.

Mark remembered his father always wore a perfume his sister gave him.

His father told him before it was Y/N who took care of him since their abusive parents rarely stayed home. 

He knew her former job as a hitman from his father, but it didn't matter.

Because she gives her everything in taking care of them, especially his younger brother Kendall, who always cried because of the pain from the chemotherapy he went through.

Kendall got diagnosed with blood cancer. It'd been a year for him getting the treatment. 

She would stay up all night to hold him. Before, it was Mark who watched over his brother Kendall if he woke up in the middle of the night. But with Aunt Y/N here, he could sleep until morning.

He felt guilty but his aunt told him not to worry "I'm used to not sleeping for 5 days. This is nothing."

That's what Mark and Kendall's life has been for a year. His life could be considered normal, with an aunt, a former hitman, as his second parent. 

-Flashback ends-

Y/N drove him to the school, along with his brother, in the infant car seats. Kendall will need another chemotherapy today. He rubbed his little brother's hand. 

How come a little kid like me could hold the pain? As an older brother, he wished he could do something to help his younger brother. 

"We've arrived."

"Aunt Y/N, you don't have to drop me there."

"Why not?"

Mark pointed at the group show standing before the school entrance door. "Because of them?"

"Uurgh, mothers." 

YN rubbed her forehead; she could deal with kingpins, mafia leaders, and pirates, but with mothers, she couldn't do anything. 

Mothers are complicated, they don't use any physical weapon, but their words are more hurtful than knives. Y/N doesn’t hate them, but they’re competitive on how to make their children be the best in this school.

Mark didn't go to private schools, but most of the mothers here are fighting to make their children enter an Ivy League College. They could be friends and enemy at the same time.

Jealousy and gossip are too much for Y/N. It's better to stay away from that group. 

Y/N agreed with Ky; she stopped before the mother saw her car. 

"I'll be here when you practice."

"Yes, I'll see you later, Auntie Y/N." Mark waves his hand.

When she saw Mark enter the school building, Y/N wanted to escape her mother by using her driving skills. But there is a speed limit in school areas. So she at least has to open her car window and greet them. 

"Fiuuh." Y/N sighed, relieved today she doesn’t have to make small talk. She drove the car to exit the school and headed to the hospital. When the vehicle stopped at the red light, her phone rang. But that ringtone is from her other phone. After she quit her job, nobody ever calls her again from that number. 

'Ring.' 

It must be urgent. Y/N turns her head to see Kendall, who is still sleeping. She hopes nothing bad if she accepts the call. 

“Speak.”

"Hello, Antarctica." 

Y/N held her breath when she heard his voice. It's been a year since she met him, and he called her using a code name. That means he needs her for a mission.

"You're still alive?"

"Hmm, cold as always; here I thought motherhood changed you."

"What do you want?"

"I need your help."

Y/N rolled her eye; he knew she had left the old life behind. And the mission he gave is always dangerous; she can’t take a risk while caring for her nephews. 

"I'm busy."

'CLICK.'

She turned off the cell phone so he wouldn't bother her momentarily. It’s been a year since she has had a quiet life without a life-threatening mission, and she wants to keep it that way. 

At the hospital. 

Y/N is sitting beside Kendall, getting his medicine to treat his cancer. 

Every time she sees him crying when the nurse puts the needle through the skin, it's killing her. If doctors could transfer Kendall's pain to her, she would accept it. 

There's an alternative besides chemotherapy. Doctor told her there was available oral medicine, but they needed to wait for months to get it.

She sighed; being a parent is difficult. How come her brother keeps smiling while being a single parent? That's amazing. 

****

At the school.

Y/N is supposed to pick up Mark and then go home. But she almost waited inside the car for 20 minutes, and he didn't come out of the school. 

She carried Kendall into her arms cause there was no way she would leave him alone inside the car. Y/N carried Kendall in her arms all day since Kendall hated the stroller. He prefers to be hugged by his aunt because her perfume resembles his father's.

"Bwo?"

"Yes, we will see him."

Kendall clapped his hands. He is always excited whenever they pick up his brother from school. 

On the way to Mark's classroom, she met group mothers in the hallway. And their leader Jenny who is also a PTA. She's perfect from head to toe, has blonde wavy hair, wears designer clothes from head to toe is walking towards Y/N. Jenny is a softly-spoken person but vicious at the same time. 

"Hi, Y/N and baby Kendall." Her high pitch made Kendall hide his face in Y/N's shoulder. 

"Hi, Jenny." 

"How are things at home? If you ever need help, tell us in the group chat."

So you have material to gossip about my family? No, thank you. 

"Thank you, but now I still could manage."

"Great. So can I ask, have you prepared your stuff for the school bazaar tomorrow?"

This month is the school anniversary; for the first of the month, there will be a bazaar, sports, and music events. Every student and parent is mandatory to join. 

Y/N couldn't choose because his brother had volunteered to bring food to the bazaar. 

"Yeah, I've made vegan brownie cake."

"Ooh, vegan and homemade cake. Lovely."

Y/N has thought a 50 ways to step away from this conversation. If she were still a hitman she could make Jenny fainted.

"Aunt Y/N. Aunt Jenny."

Mark's presence saved her from the conversation. Even Kendall stretched his arm towards his brother. 

"I'm sorry the math teacher gave us extra assignments."

Y/N brushed his hair, then held his hand. "Don't worry. I'll see you tomorrow Jenny."

"Bye."

While on their way home, Mark remembered what his aunt said to Jenny.

"Is it true you're going to bake a cake, Aunty Y/N?"

"No, I have ordered it from the bakery."

He laughed because his aunt was not able to bake. Then something caught his attention. An unknown number keeps calling Y/N phones.  

"Aunty, an unknown number keeps calling you."

"Just ignored it."

Y/N didn't say anything, which means he should stop asking. He realized when Y/N was with them, she never received a call or called someone. It must be true she has left everything behind. 

****

At unknown location

Inside the room, there is a man sitting in the darkness while looking at an old photo. It seems like he longing for that moment when the picture got taken.

That man is Lloyd Hansen—a sociopath, an insane and deadly person in the hitman industry, and also Y/N's former boss. 

"Sir, Antarctica is not answering, but we have her location." 

Lloyd smirked; he knew this would happen. He snapped his fingers. "Well then, we should go for a quick visit tomorrow."

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4 , Last Chapter

Main Masterlist || Buy me Ko-fi please 🥹

[pikatrainer99]

Branch from Trolls has PTSD, paranoia, depression, and anxiety and you can't change my mind! (Part 1: Trolls) (SPOILERS FOR A MOVIE THAT CAME OUT 8 YEARS AGO BUT JUST IN CASE 😅)

(This entire three-part analysis was SUPPOSED to be completed in its entirety by the end of May since it's for mental health awareness month, buuuut...I couldn't finish it in time (had to take a break and take care of myself because my PTSD has relapsed lately...AGAIN... I've been getting triggered really easily by just about anything and I hate it so much 😑), but at least the FIRST part is ready in time...so here we go!

Branch is my favorite character in DreamWorks' Trolls franchise, and for many reasons. One of them being that he is very relatable. As someone with PTSD, paranoia, depression, and anxiety myself, I find it easy to put myself in Branch's tiny Troll feet and feel how he feels. (I also headcanon him as autistic, which I also am, but that's a post for another day). With this series of posts I will be analyzing his character journey and how his mental struggles affect him and his life. I will only be going over the three theatrical films in the franchise in these analysis posts, because, while his mental struggles are ABSOLUTELY present in the TV shows, I haven't seen every episode of the TV shows and I have a lot to discuss with just the three movies because I love Branch and relate to him so much.

So, to start this analysis, let's take a look at the first Trolls film. When Branch is first introduced, he is a grumpy, depressed, pessimistic gray Troll, and the only Troll in the village who doesn't sing, dance, hug, or party.

He instead chooses to spend all his time working on gathering supplies and rations for his, as he says "highly camouflaged, heavily fortified, Bergen-proof survival bunker." He lives in the bunker and has enough provisions to last him ten years…eleven if he's willing to store and drink his own sweat…which he is (gross).

Branch always feels the need to be crazy over-prepared for everything (so do I), no matter how crazy it drives the others (same here). The other Trolls all say that he ruins everything by interrupting their fun and panicking that "The Bergens are coming!" when in reality there's no Bergen in sight and there hasn't been for 20 years by that point and he's just paranoid. To them, he's basically like the boy who cried wolf…or in this case, the Troll who cried Bergen.

When Poppy invites Branch to her party, Branch immediately declines, saying that he "wouldn't be caught dead at her party" before adding that all the others "will be caught and dead" because of how big, loud, and crazy it's going to be. Branch frustratedly declares that Poppy's party is just gonna lead the Bergens right to the Trolls, and they all just brush his warning off because they haven't had to worry about Bergens in 20 years. That night, during the party, Branch is out collecting more provisions and he looks at the party from afar, scoffing at the others and their carefree attitudes before retreating back to his bunker. Before he knows it though, Poppy is banging on his door because a Bergen attacked the party and took all her friends. Branch, in his paranoia and anxiety, drags Poppy inside the bunker with him and sets up all his traps as they sit and wait in silence before Poppy tells him the Bergen is gone.

Branch, still paranoid, doesn't believe her and says that it could still be out there "watching…waiting…listening…" He clearly feels like he can never let his guard down, always on hyper-alert, checking for any danger. This is a common symptom of PTSD - hyper-vigilance (I have this symptom myself), and it can contribute to paranoia, making it even worse (it definitely does for me, and it looks like it's the same for Branch).

When Poppy asks him to go to Bergen Town with her to save everyone, Branch, with no hesitation, says no, that they're not his friends, they're Poppy's friends, and that he's staying in his bunker because his bunker is safe. He takes her down to the lower levels of the bunker, and this is where we see some obvious evidence of his mental state. There is frantic fear writing ALL OVER THE WALLS, and it says things like, "Run", "Danger", "Bergens eat us", "Teeth in the night", among many other things that are hastily scribbled and illegible (though Branch has bad writing in general, so it's already hard to read, but my point stands). He's even got multiple papers with horrifying drawings of the Bergens hung up on that wall as well. I have never really seen anyone else in this fandom talk about the writing all over Branch's walls, so I'm gonna talk about it myself. It makes it look like the poor guy spiraled, lost control, and had a manic episode…or eleven.

(Seriously, just LOOK at all this!!! This man is NOT okay!!!)

He's clearly TERRIFIED of Bergens, and wants to do everything in his power to avoid ever encountering one (which, fair, they do wanna EAT the Trolls, so that's a valid fear). Branch's fear of Bergens though, is not a normal fear, it seems to be a phobia, which would explain the paranoia. Obviously there's something going on inside his head involving Bergens that will definitely be revealed later. (foreshadowing)

Poppy completely disrespects Branch's needs, wishes, and privacy by letting all the other Trolls into the bunker while she goes to save her friends that got taken. This kinda made me upset because Branch clearly didn't give her permission to invade his personal space like that and make his own home suddenly feel unsafe with everyone there going through his stuff all at once. He freaks out when it's "Hug Time" because he doesn't want to be touched, especially not by all these Trolls he doesn't trust, so he packs a backpack and goes after Poppy, saving her from some spiders.

(This is honestly really upsetting to watch, she totally disrespects and ignores his boundaries here and it hurts to see him freak out over Hug Time because I also hate being touched, which means I also dislike hugs as a result of that...I only willingly hug my grandparents, that's it, no one else, not even my own parents.)

The whole way to Bergen Town, Branch is gloomy, brooding, and irritable. He tells Poppy that the world isn't all "cupcakes and rainbows" when she asks what happened to him to make him the way he is.

Poppy and her constant singing get on his nerves, the worst instance of this being when she starts singing at night when he's trying to sleep, making him angry enough to throw her ukulele into the campfire, burning it.

(This scene always gets a laugh out of me, the way it's animated is just perfect comedy XD)

Singing is clearly triggering for him, which we find out why later on when he adamantly refuses to sing with the others when they're trying to help Bridget get a date with King Gristle by giving her a makeover. Poppy asks him why he won't sing and he responds with (probably) the most iconic line in the entire film (and not one that people seem to be able to take seriously…but I take it as seriously as can be): "BECAUSE SINGING KILLED MY GRANDMA, OKAY?!"

(His facial expressions here as he tells the story of what happened to his grandma are just...DreamWorks nailed it, and also the knee hugging pose...he's just like me for real 🥺)

We then see a flashback of a young Branch, happy and colorful, singing his heart out, but the Chef Bergen comes for him and he's so lost in song he doesn't notice, or hear his grandma warning him.

This causes his grandma to push him out of the way, and get taken instead.

Branch is so distraught by his grandma's sacrifice, that he loses all his happiness and becomes depressed, turning gray in the process, and vowing to never sing again.

(This poor child had to witness his grandma meet her untimely demise...and he blames himself for it...that's really depressing in my opinion, I seriously don't understand why people find this scene funny, it triggered my own PTSD really BAD the first time I watched it...I'm used to it now so I don't have my PTSD triggered by it anymore but it still hurts to watch.)

Now the bigger picture is clear. He's got PTSD and paranoia involving the Bergens because of what happened with his grandma as a child. His grandma's sacrifice also started his severe depressive state, as evidenced by him turning gray immediately after she got taken. When the flashback ends, Branch is staring silently and sadly out the window, looking like he's trying not to cry, his depression getting a hold of him once again.

(Again, DreamWorks really nailed the facial expressions here...he looks so broken 🥺)

I understand how he's feeling in that scene, my grandma is my LIFELINE, the person I feel the safest with…seriously I confide in her and tell her more things than I tell my own mom because I trust my grandma more…I even stayed at her house for a while a few years back during my worst mental crisis ever just so I could have the feeling of constant safety and less nightmares…so if something ever happened to her I wouldn't be able to live with myself. Singing is a trigger for him, and so are Bergens in general…which makes me upset at the others, AGAIN, when they sing the song that Branch was singing during that time…my thoughts were like, "Come ON guys, that song is probably the most triggering song for him…" As you can probably tell, I get upset with the others quite a few times whenever I watch this film, because of how they treat Branch. Eventually the entirety of Troll Village is thrown in a pot, ready to be served for Trollstice, and it's here where Branch's character development really becomes apparent. Poppy turns gray, quickly followed by all the other Trolls, and Branch looks around at everyone turning gray, like him, and, desperate to do something about it and help the girl he's now grown to love, he finally breaks his 20-year-long "no singing" vow as he begins to sing "True Colors" in what is probably the most beautiful scene in the entire film (I know it's my personal favorite scene).

(There they all go...turning gray...and Branch is just looking around at everyone, clearly upset by this.)

(His expressions here...you can tell he's thinking, "I've gotta do something!" And he does, and it's beautiful 🥺)

Thanks to Branch, Poppy and the other Trolls are able to regain their colors, and thanks to Poppy, Branch FINALLY regains his colors after 20 years!

(He's getting his colors back! I always feel so happy when I watch the True Colors scene, it's just so beautiful and satisfying 😌👍)

(They're so cute, look at them dance together 🥺! Broppy is best Trolls ship and no one can convince me otherwise, these two are PERFECT for each other 😌)

He thanks Poppy for showing him how to be happy, stating that "happiness is inside of all of us, sometimes you just need someone to help you find it", quoting one of Poppy's lines from earlier in the film. Branch now feels comfortable singing and dancing with Poppy and the other Trolls as they teach the Bergens that same lesson by singing "Can't Stop The Feeling", which helps the Trolls finally make peace with the Bergens after many many years of fearing being eaten by them.

Poppy is crowned queen, Branch finally asks for (and gets) a hug from her even though it's not Hug Time, and the movie ends.

(They are so adorable I can't take it!)

This is not the end of Branch's journey though, there's still two more movies to cover! I'll be covering the second movie hopefully soon, so I hope you look forward to that, and I hope you enjoyed this character analysis on Branch in the first movie! If I missed anything please feel free to let me know in the comments! I sometimes miss things especially with relatable characters because sometimes there are aspects that trigger me so I try to forget about those aspects, and sometimes the character as a whole just hits too close to home and writing analyses on them is too overwhelming because of that (Branch is one of those characters, so it took me ages to write this and gather all the GIFs and images...and also this entire analysis was written ENTIRELY from my memory of the events in the first movie, so there's that part too). Also please excuse the potato quality images and GIFs...I tried my best to find good ones but most of them I found are just REALLY bad quality so...sorry about that 😅

Okay, that's about it for this post! I'll see you guys next time for another Branch analysis, this time for Trolls World Tour! Catch ya later! 👋

[xoxo-sarah]

I Wanna Be Yours || Part 8

Part 7 | part 9

↝a/n: I am sincerely apologetic for not updating this series in so long. I hope you still like it!

↝pairing: Robin Buckley x fem!Wheeler!reader

↝Warning: slightly proofread, cannon events

↝⎙ 2.16.24

Disclaimer: I do not own Robin Buckley, or any character from Stranger Things. I only own y/n (reader's character) and any characters I create with my own brain. If you have a problem with my work, send me a private message. Thank you.

“Oh shit.” Nancy parked the car.

So many people stood around, gawking, standing on their tiptoes to look over other people's heads and shoulders. All to see what was going on. Whatever was happening, the news trucks and cameras didn't help with privacy. They were broadcasting everything to the whole town.

“C'mon, this way.” Nancy walked behind the white and orange van, watching as the new sheriff, Powell, talked into the cameras that were right in his face, “reporting a homicide here on the lake. Officer Callahan here and myself arrived first on the scene. We made our way to the shore of Lover's Lake, about ten yards from the house you see behind me. Uh, it was there that we found the victim, an 18-year-old senior from Hawkins High, Patrick McKinney.”

You scoffed as Powell went on to show a picture of Eddie, the 'person of interest'.

“Oh, man.” Steve sighed, “This is not good. Really not good.”

Powell walked away, the crowd following with even more questions.

“Dustin? Can you hear me?” Eddie's voice crackled from the radio. “Wheeler?”

Dustin yanked the radio from his backpack, turning around for some privacy.

“Eddie. Holy shit. Are you okay?”

“Nah, man.” You could hear his voice muffled, probably from running his hand down his face or something. “Pretty-pretty goddamn far from okay.”

“Where is he?” Robin spoke up.

“Where are you?” Dustin echoed.

“Skull Rock. Do you know it?”

“Uh, yeah.” Dustin answered, unsure.

“New Corn Wallis and-” You began, furrowing your eyebrows. You hadn't been there in forever.

“Garrett, yeah. I know where that is.” Steve finished for you, making his way back to the car.

“Hold tight. We're coming.”

You hadn't gotten off the radio since you got in the car. You had all but yanked it from Dustin's grip and began talking about any and everything with Eddie. Maybe you were trying to lighten the mood, Robin didn't really know. Your mood had taken a total change.

You were cracking jokes and replaying memories to the guy on the other side of the radio.

You eventually stopped, still smiling at the one memory of Eddie nearly falling on his face your first day of high school. He had been trying to impress his friend but miscalculated his steps and fell right as you had walked by. It was a funny first encounter.

It was quiet for a moment.

“I'm going to go to prison, aren't I?” Your smile fell. How were you to tell him that you didn't know? Sure, you were going to do all that you could not to let that happen. But you can only do so much.

“No. No, I don't think so.”

“Y/n,” Eddie's voice trailed off, not entirely believing you.

“No, you're not going to prison because you haven't done anything wrong. Everyone else thinks you did because they don't know any better. They don't know what's actually going on. Can't really blame them, right? It's easier to blame a kid than something nonhuman.”

Eddie waited a moment to reply, digging his palm into his eye socket. “I guess you're right.”

“Of course I'm right.”

Steve and Dustin continued to bicker from their pace in front of you.

Robin walked beside you, Nancy on her other side.

Glancing back at Max and Lucas, Robin scoffed. “Oh, my god. They're so adorable. I just wanna squeeze 'em, you know?”

You nodded, glancing back, yourself.

Nancy stayed looking forward, brown paper bag in hand.

“If I'm permitted to see a silver lining in the end-of-the-world doom and gloom, it would be the rekindling of some old flames that, frankly, never should've been snuffed out.”

At the glare Nancy sent, you couldn't help chuckling, just listening as the two went back and forth.

“I didn't mean that as a hint or anything.”

“Right.” Nancy rolled her eyes.

“But,” Robin continued, “If I did mean it as a hint, would that be so terrible? To wish for happiness for my friends?”

This time, Nancy stopped in her tracks, scoffing as she turned to Robin. “You think I'm not happy?”

Robin fumbled over her words, “I-I'm sure you are. It's just, the other day in the library, I mentioned Jonathan and you sort of flinched or winced or something like-”

“I didn't flinch or wince.”

“Okay.”

“Jonathan and I are fine.”

“Got it.”

“We're good.”

“Right.”

“Guys.” They looked at you for the first time since they began talking. You pointed at Steve and Dustin, who were only getting further ahead. Nancy turned and began walking.

“It's just…” Nancy trailed off, going back to the Jonathan topic. “He was supposed to be there for the break, and then he backed out last minute for some vague, mumbly Jonathan reason. And, to be honest, I'm not that surprised because I've been feeling him pulling away lately. I don't know if it's because we're 2,000 miles away or if he's met someone new or what. Now I can't find out why because apparently, he's blown up his family's house phone or something.” She took a much-needed breath, before continuing. “So, yeah. If the mention of his name caused a slight muscle spasm on my face, that's probably why.”

“Seems like a perfectly reasonable reason to flinch, wince, or something.” Robin offered a small smile.

Nancy smiled back. “You said ‘the happiness of your friends’, so, does that make us friends? As in, officially?"

“Uh, yeah. I mean, right? Everyone here is my friend. Right, Y/n?”

“I guess.” Your nose playfully crinkled. Robin had always found that adorable. Especially when you were picking at her.

“Right.” Nancy looked between the two of you.

"Bada bing, bada boom. There she is, Henderson. Skull Rock. “In your face, man. In your stupid, cocky little face.” Steve bragged, taking in the beauty of the rock he was all too familiar with.

“Doesn't make sense.” Dustin mumbled, looking around, and at his compass.

“Yeah, yeah. Even with it staring you in the face, you can't admit it. Just can't admit you're wrong, you little butthead.”

You walked around the bushes, further ahead of the other 4. You saw Dustin and Steve just as Eddie jumped down. “I concur. You, Dustin Henderson, are a total butthead.”

“Jesus. We thought you were a goner.” You couldn't help but smile as you watched Dustin hug Eddie, who probably smelt rank.

“Yeah, me too, man. Me too.”

You were right about Eddie smelling. He held you under his arm, all his appreciation for you being expressed in the bear hug. You just wished your nose didn't work at that moment.

“When I got back to shore, I tried calling you guys, but, uh,” Eddie took a swig out of the canteen with his other hand. “My walkie was busted, man. Drenched. So, I did the thing that I do now, apparently. I ran.” He chuckled, no humor behind it at all.

“Do you know what time it was? The attack?” Nancy questioned.

“Yeah, no- I know exactly what time it was. My walkie wasn't the only thing that got soaked.” He threw his watch in her direction.

“9:27.”

“Same time our flashlights went kablooey.”

You looked at Robin confused. She mouthed 'I'll tell you later', you had yet to be let in on all that had happened when you were at the funeral. You just felt like they weren't letting you in on everything on purpose, not because they just forget.

“Which means what, exactly?” Steve asked.”

Apparently, you weren't the only one who was confused about all of this.

“That surge of energy was Vanca attacking Patrick.” Nancy threw the watch back.

“Well,” Robin tried, “We're one step closer. We know how Vecna attacks.”

“And where he attacks from.” Lucas adds.

“So, now we just need to sneak into his lair in the Upside Down and drive a stake through his heart.” Max states.

Robin scoffed, “If he even has a heart.” She glanced at you, thinking of how you and Max are currently on edge, scared if you'll even get the next second to live. The rest of the group were worried about Max, with her coming out and telling everyone everything that had happened. She saw you, saw how you didn't want to worry anyone. That's how you have always been.

“A stake? Is he a vam- is he a vampire?!” Steve looked around.

“It was a metaphor.”

“A bullet should work on him, right?” Eddie offered.

Lucas shrugged, “I say we chop his head off.”

“Colorful ideas.” You gawked at them. These are children ready to murder whatever is making your lives a living hell.

Nancy nodded at you, “I'd say all of the above, but we can't do any of that 'til we find a way into the Upside Down.”

“We need El to get her powers back.”

“Everything was way easier.” Steve turned to Eddie, “We had this girl. She had super-.”

“Superpowers. Yeah, you've mentioned her.”

You lost it, “Let's stop talking about El, alright? She's over 2,000 miles away with Mike and Will. They're having fun, and they can't help us here. So, just stop talking about her and her powers that made things so much easier.”

Everyone shut up, letting you breathe.

Eddie spoke up after a moment, “Hey, uh, Henderson's not cursed, is he?”

Dustin, who hadn't said a word since you had made it to the rock, was pacing, but stopped short and stared into the woods.

“Cursed? No, no. He's fine. Mental? Absolutely.”

“Boom!” Dustin's outburst had everyone jump out of their skin. “Bada, bada, boom.”

Steve was utterly confused, a little concerned about his friend.

“I was right.”

Steve's eyebrows dropped, a sigh rolling out of his mouth as he rolled his eyes. “Skull Rock was north.”

“Seriously? You're serious?” Steve couldn't understand why this kid couldn't just be wrong.

“Mhm!”

“This is Skull Rock! Okay?!”

“Mhm.” Dustin was as calm as can be, while Steve was beginning to get agitated.

“You're totally, absolutely, 100% wrong. Right now.”

“Yes-”

“What?!"

“And no.”

“Oh, my god.” Steve put his hands over his face, dragging down.

“This compass worked correctly when we left the Wheeler's. It was correct when we got in the car on Kerley. But it started to slip the further east we went. Now, it's way off. When I was leading us here, I wasn't wrong. The compass was.”

Steve threw his hands up. “So, you're using faulty equipment. You're still wrong.”

“Except it isn't faulty. Lucas, do you remember what can affect a compass?”

“An electromagnetic field.”

“Yep.”

“I'm sorry. I must've skipped that class.” Robin shook her head.

“In the presence of a stronger electromagnetic field, the needle will deflect towards that power. So, either there's some super big magnet around here or-”

“There's a gate.”

•2021-2024 by xoxo-sarah on Tumblr•

• My work is not to be translated, copied, modified, and/or reposted on any other site without my permission. [!I don't give permission!]

🫧 Taglistׂׂ ૢ ~ @overtrred28 @ihatepeanutss @jovana1234578 @dobbycarl @kyleeservopoulos

[reigningqueenofwords]

Move In?

Pairing: Bruce x Reader Word count: 2,045

Read on AO3

Part 3 of Without Me

Pulling your hair up, you made your way back towards where Bruce still slept in his bed. It had been two months since the night at Hole in the Wall already. Your life had changed dramatically since you began seeing Bruce, and you couldn’t be happier. Crawling up the bed, you smiled at how peaceful he looked. Carefully, you barely touched his cheek, silently giggling when he scrunched his nose. You got back under the covers and started trailing your fingers up and down his back.

He let out a soft noise instantly, but took a few minutes to wake up. “Mm.” He nuzzled into you. “So comfy.” He mumbled.

“Calling me squishy?” You gently scratched his back with a grin.

“Nope.” He let out a small yawn. “What time is it?” He hugged you to him as he rolled on his back.

“Almost nine.” You kissed his nose. “Got the coffee started…” You smiled. “I was thinking I’d make us breakfast, too.”

“Hmm. You’re amazing.” He kissed your jaw, fully awake now. “I gotta say, that’s the best I’ve slept in ages.” He admitted.

“I wonder why.” You grinned. Reaching up, you ran your fingers through his hair.

He chuckled. “Might have something to do with this hot chick that spent the night.” He flirted with you.

You blushed. “Sweet talker.” You grinned. Your head was on his chest, and you enjoyed listening to his heart beat. “It’s almost the end of the school year.” You said softly.

“Which is a fucking relief.” He chuckled. “Though finals are going to kill me. Literally.” He shook his head.

“You do realize I usually head home for part of the summer, right?” You said softly.

He blinked and looked at you. “You do, don’t you?” He frowned. “This year, too?”

You shrugged a shoulder. “I’d like to see my family, but I might shorten my trip. Or...you could come, too?”

He tilted his head into the pillow. “You’d let me meet your family?” He asked, surprised.

You nodded. “Only if you wanted to…” You traces a pattern on his jaw. “I won’t force you.” Did he ever meet the parents of his girlfriends?

He thought about it for a moment. “I usually just kick it here. So I’d love to spend more time with you.” He felt you smile against your chest. “Your dad won’t try to kill me, right?” He asked playfully.

You hummed. “He might. Then ask you about the latest type of car you have. It’ll keep him entertained for days.” You giggled. “My younger brother will be your shadow.”

He grinned, tracing patterns on your back. “Whatever makes my woman happy.” You blushed like crazy and buried your face in his chest. He kissed your head with a chuckle. “Do we need to fly there?”

“You’d love that. Some private jet.” You teased. “I usually drive, it’s about 8 hours.”

“I love to show off.” He admitted with ease. “But 8 hours alone sound great.” He squeezed your waist. “Maybe make it longer by making stops along the way?” He suggested.

“Road trip?” You brightened.

“Road trip.” He agreed happily, surprising even himself.

You grinned and kissed him happily. You were very excited for him to meet your family. It meant a ton to you, but you had a good feeling about Bruce. Even Kyle seemed to be rooting for the pair of you.

Bruce squeezed you. “How about I help with that breakfast?” He offered, feeling very domestic with you.

“You can look pretty and watch.” You giggled. “Mr. I-burn-toast.” You teased. “I'd hate to see what you do to pancakes.”

“It was once.” He nipped your shoulder with a chuckle. Hearing you laugh, he moved to tickle you.

You gasped before letting out a series of laughs, slapping his hands. “Bruce!!” You wiggled. “I’ll kick you!” You warmed through your squeals.

“Worth it!” He grinned above you, dodging your arms. He pinned your arms and attacked you with kisses. “You’re so fucking cute.” He said between kisses. “And I can't believe you're mine sometimes.”

You smiled lazily and looked at him. “I can’t believe you’re mine either. My sweet, boyfriend.”

Bruce kissed you softly. His mind swam with emotions as he poured what he felt for you, something that never had come so easy. You easily returned them.

The ending of the semester came quickly, but for a couple weeks you and Bruce had barely seen each other since you were swamped with last minute projects. It was starting to get to you. You weren’t clingy, but you missed crashing at his place. You texted all the time, or as much as you both could anyway, but it wasn’t the same as hugging or seeing him.

Finally, you were getting home from your last final to see his car parked in your driveway. You silently cheered and rushed to get inside. “Bruce!” You nearly tackled him.

He lifted you with ease into a hug. “Hey, baby.” He grinned, kissing your cheek. “I’ve missed you!”

“I’ve missed you more.” You hugged him tight. “Are you all finished?!” You asked excitedly. “I am!”

He pecked your lips. “All done. I wanted to come celebrate with you.” He grinned. “Pack a bag, I’m taking you away for a weekend.” He said excitedly.

“I have work.” You pouted.

“Ditch. Call in. Quit.” He shrugged as if it was nothing.

You blinked. “And I’d be unable to pay my bills.” You reminded him. “My phone would get cut off, I’d lose my room here, car insurance would go bye-bye…”

He whined. “But I could provide all that for you.”

That took you by surprise. “Is the Bruce Wayne wanting to get serious by moving in together?”

He blushed, a rarity for him. “I’m crazy about you…” He nodded. “So, move in with me? Quit your job and let me take care of you?”

You stared at him. “That’s a huge step.” You ran a hand through his hair. “I’m not saying no, either. Just wanna make sure this is really what you want.” You’d never heard of him living with a girlfriend before.

He smiled. “I’ve never been more sure. These past couple weeks have only assured my decision.” He told you honestly. “Hell, we can go apartment hunting, too.”

You couldn’t help but smile. “I’m so into you. I can’t believe I’m about to agree to this.” You teased. “Let’s do it.”

He fist pumped the air and twirled you. “So weekend away it is?” He looked like a kid at Christmas.

“I’m officially all yours.” You grinned. “How's that sound?”

“The best thing I’ve ever heard.” He let you go. “Go pack.” He grinned. “I'll make reservations.”

You made a happy noise and rushed off happily. Life was really looking up. You weren’t one to move in so quickly with a boyfriend, but you didn’t bother talking yourself out of it. It just felt right.

Bruce leaned against your counter, making some calls and emails to set up the perfect weekend. He couldn't wait to have you to himself for a few days. The past couple of weeks dragged without you. It felt like part of him was missing. He smiled now that he could have you uninterrupted from school work. Even just lounging around would be welcome.

When you came out with a couple of bags, he beamed. “Ready?” He asked, moving to take them.

“More than. I don’t even know what I packed.” You giggled. “I just was excited to spend time with you.”

“You’re perfect.” He kissed your shoulder and followed you out. “How would you feel about meeting my parents?”

You looked up at him. “Your parents? You’d want me to?” You asked shyly, your cheeks tinted pink.

“I’d be so proud to show you off to them.” He said earnestly. “Dinner this weekend?”

“But...I’m not rich.” You weren’t like anything like the girls in his past. You were terrified they wouldn't like you.

“And?” He put your bags in the trunk. “Why does that matter?”

“Well, I mean...I don’t know. Won’t they not approve of my...class?” You didn’t know how to put it. You were a poor college student like many of your classmates. “I'm just scared they won't like me.”

“They’ll love you.” He told you. “They know you’ve been keeping me on my toes.” He smiled. “My mom loves that you call me a brat!” He laughed.

“You are! My brat now though.” You brightened a little. “No fancy dinners, though?”

“Hmm. That’ll be hard. Unlike me, they have zero knowledge of Hole in the Wall like places.” He rolled his eyes but chuckled.

You giggled. “Should we introduce them to something like bowling?” You asked playfully.

He snorted and laughed. “I’d pay to see that.” He told you as you both got into the car. “I can’t see my parents bowling .” He shook his head. “They’d buy new bowling balls and shoes and probably make their own bowling place.” He cracked up at the idea.

You smirked slightly. “It’s a suggestion!” You giggled. “There’s also roller skating.” You laughed.

He lost it, laughing so hard he went silent as he rested his forehead on the steering wheel. You grinned at the sight. “That’s great.” He squeaked. “So great.”

“You’re freaking adorable right now.” You shook your head. You’d never seen him like this.

“You’re adorable with your suggestions.” He wiped his eyes before leaning over to kiss your cheek. “I love them. And you.”

You blushed and grinned widely. “I love you, too, Bruce.” You tapped his nose. It had been the first time the pair of you had said it. It had warmed up your entire chest and stomach and you giggled as he nuzzled in your neck. His arms wrapped around you tightly.

He let out a breath. “I was going to tell you this weekend, but I couldn’t help myself.” He kissed your neck gently. “You’re just so amazing.” He smiled against your skin.

“So are you!” You squeezed him. “My life has changed with you in it.” You said happily.

“Same here. You’ve made me a better man.” He said easily. “I’m not looking forward to cheap thrills and shit.”

“Glad to hear it.” You ran a hand through his hair. “Now, let’s get away for the weekend, my love.”

“With hopefully a lot of pleasure.” He winked and sat up. Seeing you blush never got old.

“Holding you to that.” You mumbled shyly.

When the pair of you pulled up to a hotel, you blinked. “I'll never get used to this.”

He grinned. “I love seeing your surprise.” He said as the valet came out. He took your hand as you both got out while people gathered your bags. You were so bashful about being treated like this. It was something he really enjoyed. You weren’t in it for the glam. You were with him because you enjoyed his company- no matter what the pair of you were doing. “I wanted to really treat you this weekend.” He added. “Show you how much you mean to me.”

“You already do that.” You said lovingly. “But I won’t complain to a bubble bath. I’m sure they have huge ones.” You told him, winking.

He licked his lips. “You just like to tease.” He ruffled your hair. “I’ll get you back.”

“You do it without meaning to so I’m sure.” You grinned, sticking by his side as he checked in. Your hand was on his back, your head on his shoulder as he did all the talking.

The receptionist smiled at you every so often before finally handing the keys over. “Best suite we have, Mr. Wayne.” He assured him. “Complementary basket, as well.”

“Perfect.” Bruce winked at him before wrapping his arm around your shoulders. “Shall we?” He motioned to the elevators.

“Yes please.” You stayed close to him. “Burgers from room service for dinner?” You asked.

He laughed. “I love how we can have the best steaks, and you want burgers.”

You grinned. “I love burgers. And fries. They’re from different places.” You shrugged.

“Cows and potatoes?” He teased.

You shoved him lightly. “Fancy and not fancy!” You laughed. “Smartass.”

“Your smartass.” He nudged you back.

[mysecretlittlelibrary]

Just Let Me Adore You Pt. 8

Pairing: Stucky x Reader

Word Count: 3.7k

Warnings: none actually this is pretty cute they just go on a date lol

Genre: Pretty much ALL fluff, it's cute

Summary: You’ve been dating your boyfriend, Bruce, for 3 absolutely blissful years. He’s a scientist and professor who is as smart as he is kind and if anyone asked, you were sure you’d spend the rest of your life with him. That is until two mysteriously charming men that Bruce swears are dangerous take an interest in you that threatens to turn your entire life upside down. I mean… what exactly are you supposed to do with two gorgeous men telling you something that suggests that basically everything you think you know is a lie? And why does part of you have enough doubt to wonder if they might be telling the truth?

Series Masterlist

***

You watch curiously as Wanda shuffles through one of the boxes sitting around the guest room in her apartment. Even though you've been here a few weeks you're avoiding fully unpacking your things since you snuck them out of your and Bruce's previously shared apartment.

"You should really unpack this stuff like how do you find anything if it's all in boxes?" Wanda huffs.

"All the important stuff is unpacked. I didn't really expect to be going on dates. I mean at this point it's a good thing I even managed to go back to the apartment and get the rest of my life from my old place." You shrug. "I dunno if I should bother because like- it's not at if I'm moving in permanently."

"You could! I mean I have the extra bedroom, it's yours if you want it, you're already here. Why not?"

"We'll- talk about it later."

"OH! Where's the dress they bought you?! It's not like you could wear it with Bruce I'm sure. You could break it in now!" She says.

"It's in the other box." You point to where the dress should be and Wanda quickly pulls it out. The dress is a red floor-length off-shoulder number that looks as good now as it did when you saw it in the store. "I can't believe they bought me a dress because they liked my voice." You shake your head.

"I mean the dress is gorgeous. Put it on we have less than an hour before they're meant to arrive and you still have to decide on makeup and shoes and accessories." Wanda hands you the dress and you laugh at her frantic list as you take off your tank top and shorts to put on the dress.

"I need a different bra." You mutter.

"Do you have strapless bras?" She asks.

"Yeah I've got one- I actually hate it but I do have one." You say. You shuffle through a box until you find the bra and switch out your loungewear bra for the strapless. You shimmy on the dress and turn for Wanda to look at it. "Well? What do you think?"

"You know, exactly what looks good on you." She says with a nod.

"Lucky me since I didn't try it on before Bucky and Steve decided to purchase it." You muse.

"Okay, makeup. Do you wanna keep it simple and dramatize with accessories or go with dramatic makeup and keep the accessories simple?"

"I dunno I really like dramatic makeup." You hum throwing a t-shirt over the dress to do your makeup.

"So do dramatic makeup. We can give you a cute pair of earrings and one of those dainty necklaces of yours." She shrugs.

"The sun."

"What?"

"They gave me a sun necklace. Would it be too much to wear that and the dress they gave me? Too definitive on where we stand even though I have no idea how I feel about them?"

"Well it's gold, you'd have to match it with- wait what bag are you carrying?"

"I was gonna go with a black clutch."

"Is it black and gold or black and silver?"

"I have both."

"Well you have to go with the gold one."

"Okay." You laugh.

"Shoes? What shoes?"

"You can pick." You tell her.

"Are all your shoes in the closet?"

"Yes, those I unpacked." You tell her.

"Black heels. That way something in your outfit matches your bag." Wanda holds the shoes in question up. This particular pair of heels has gold detailing on the stiletto, a gift from your mother a couple of years ago.

"Perfect." You tell her. You finish your makeup and slide the shoes on. Your final makeup look is gold eyes and a red lip that matches your dress. You complete your look with the sun necklace and a pair of simple gold hoops.

"You look amazing!" Wanda gushes when you look over at her for a final assessment.

"Well, that's good since it's five after. They should be downstairs already." You say loading your clutch.

"I'll go down with you so I can let them know that if they mess this up I'll have their heads." Wanda says following you out of your room.

"These are mobsters Wanda please remember that before you threaten them."

"What they are is men taking my best friend out. Mobster or not I expect them to treat you perfectly and they should know there will be consequences if they don't."

"Do you intend to tell them you're a witch?" You ask her.

"Absolutely not. Then I lose the mystery factor that makes my threats that much scarier." She shakes her head and you laugh. When you exit the apartment building a man exits the vehicle parked right at the front and walks over to you.

"Miss y/n. Miss Wanda."

"Do we know you?" Wanda quirks an eyebrow at him.

"I'm Mr. Rogers and Mr. Barnes' driver. They're waiting in the car." The man explains leading you both over and opening the door. Steve gets out of the car to allow you to slide in between him and Bucky.

"Y/n, you look gorgeous." Steve kisses your hand and helps you into the car. Well, it's actually a truck, with tinted windows and spacious seats even with three of you in the back.

"Thank you Steve, hello Bucky." You say. When Steve settles back into his seat, Wanda sticks her head into the car before the driver can close the door.

"Gentlemen. Hello." Wanda smiles and you roll your eyes at her.

"Hello Wanda." They say in unison.

"I just want to make sure they we're all on the same page here. If y/n comes home with anything negative to say about this evening I will put you both in so much pain you won't even be able to scream. Are we clear?"

"We have no intention of seeing anything but happiness on y/n's face tonight Wanda, don't worry." Steve says kindly.

"Good. I will be holding you to that. Y/n, have a good night okay?"

"Thank you Wanda. I'll see you when I get back." You say. The driver waits for her to back up and then shuts the door before getting into the car.

"You look amazing y/n." Bucky says.

"Thank you Bucky." You nod. "Where are we going tonight?" You look between the two men.

"If it's okay with you we'd like to keep it a surprise." Steve says.

"Alright sure. I did give you permission to pick the place." You nod. You watch the streets of New York go by as you're driven through the city until eventually the car stops and the door is opened for you. Steve exits and holds a hand out to you to help you down from the car and then Bucky climbs out after you. Steve keeps his hand in yours and Bucky places one of his at the small of your back as the three of you enter one of the fanciest restaurants you've ever seen. Steve talks to the maitre d but you don't hear what he says, you're too busy looking around at the ornate interior of the place. Everyone in here is dressed to the nines, and despite knowing your outfit matches the environment, part of you feels out of place with the clientele of this place. You're all led to your table in a more secluded area of the restaurant. "This place is- very fancy." You say once you're seated and left alone by the maitre d.

"Are you uncomfortable? We can leave if you'd like." Bucky's voice is soft as he makes the offer.

"No, I'm fine. It was just an observation. I'll admit this isn't my usual scene but I am okay here. Thank you for checking though." You say.

"So this is one of those places that has a set menu, and they just bring out the courses for you once you've sat down. We thought it'd be simpler this way." Steve says.

"Oh okay. That's cool." You say. Just then a waiter brings your first course, a seafood tartlet.

"How have you been handling the new information y/n?" Steve asks.

"Which piece of new information are you referring to? Being a werewolf, my boyfriend lying to me for at least a year, you two being total stalkers, or the fact that your infatuation with me is totally out of your control?" You ask.

"All of it really. Whichever you want to talk about." Steve shrugs.

"Well, the werewolf thing is- somehow the least shocking bit of all of this honestly. That was pretty easy to accept, it didn't inherently change much for me, plus my mom has been pretty open to talking about it all so I at least have help navigating it."

"And- things with the hunter?" Bucky asks.

"I've moved all my stuff out of the apartment so as far as I'm concerned I'm done with him." You say.

"Can I ask what happened? How you, found out that we were right?" Steve asks. Your first course plates are then replaced with the entree which you miss the name of when it's brought but you enjoy the dish anyway.

"I called my mom about the werewolf thing and when I brought that up to him I just asked him if he knew and I could tell he was lying when he said no." You shrug. "It turned into a big dramatic blowout but the details aren't important really. He lied so I left. That's the moral of the story." 

"I'm sorry. That kind of betrayal can't be easy to deal with, and if you ever want to talk about it more we can lend an ear." Steve says.

"It is what it is, you live and you learn." You say.

"Just say the word and you'll never have to see him again." Bucky says.

"Hm that- sounds like a threat on his life." You muse and Bucky simply shrugs. "Is that just how it goes with mobsters?"

"When necessary." He says casually.

"Interesting. I have an unrelated question though, that I've been wondering about all week."

"What's that?" Steve asks.

"If this... werewolf infatuation with me, however it all works, is affecting both of you... am I expected to make a choice at some point here? Between the two of you, I mean."

"No. You don't have to." Bucky says.

"I don't have to? You'd be able to handle that kind of dynamic? Where I just, date both of you indefinitely or, permanently? Because if you're gonna like kill each other over this I don't want anything to do with either of you. I have no interest in being the subject of some sort of contest."

"We've done it before." Steve says.

"Oh so this is just normally how you date?" You ask.

"Well- it's not exactly our default no but, this isn't our first rodeo either." He chuckles.

"You don't think it'll cause problems? Not having me to yourself?" You ask curiously.

"Not at all." Steve says and you turn to Bucky who hums his agreement.

"We told you before, we share most things." Bucky says.

"Okay. Well as long as that's the truth, moving on. I know what you do for work, theoretically, so what do you do for fun?" You ask.

"Theoretically?" Steve quirks an eyebrow at you.

"I mean I've got an idea of what the whole mobster thing could entail yeah but it's not like you're gonna give me the details, are you?" You shrug.

"Do you want details?" He asks.

"We'll tell you anything you want to know." Bucky says.

"Anything? Really? You don't think I'm too innocent to know the inner workings of your crime empire?" Your question is kind of sarcastic but you are curious if they'd seriously tell you about it.

"As much as we want to protect you, we also know that if we want you to be part of our world you need to be prepared for what's in it." Steve says.

"If you choose us we want you as our equal y/n, in all things. Even our business." Bucky says placing a hand over yours.

"So- like I could be part of decision-making?" You ask, mostly to gauge how far this equal partner thing goes. Bucky and Steve glance at each other with a look you can't really interpret.

"If you want to be." Steve nods.

"It's that simple?" You ask skeptically.

"When it comes to you, things will always be as simple as if you want it, it's yours. We'll give you anything you ask of us. Always." Bucky says.

"You two are dangerously charming. Saying all the right things." You hum.

"We'll never make a promise we don't intend to keep." Steve says.

"That's easy to say now." You scoff.

"We know that hunter betrayed your trust in him, so we'll do whatever we need to, to gain your trust and we will treat it with the respect it deserves. The respect you deserve." Bucky says.

"I take it trust is very important to you? Especially with the kind of work you do." You say.

"Precisely." He nods.

"That's good to know." You hum. "So, hobbies. Do you have any or does work take up all your time?"

"We have a few hobbies. I like woodworking." Steve says.

"I like drawing and reading." Bucky says.

"We both do hunting." Steve offers.

"Like with guns or as wolves? Also is it just for sport or do you eat what you kill?"

"Why would we hunt with guns?" Bucky scoffs.

"I mean humans hunt for sport and obviously they use guns and since- I don't think we have the same dietary restrictions as like vampires I imagine there's nothing stopping you from just shooting things for fun because you can." You shrug and Steve chuckles. Your entree plates are then swapped out for a dessert, a layered slice of cake.

"We hunt as wolves. Usually, just things we can eat." Steve says.

"It's not really valuable to kill just for killing sake. We aren't monsters." Bucky offers.

"Monsters no but mobsters yes." You say and Bucky smirks.

"Hunting isn't work, it's a hobby." Steve says.

"Okay, hunting, woodworking, drawing, and reading. Anything else?"

"We- dedicate a lot of time to work. So, not really no." He shrugs.

"How do you intend to have a relationship if you're both basically married to your work?" You ask.

"We aren't married to it. We don't have much else to pour energy into yet so we dedicate our time to work but it's not the kind of thing that would take over our lives if you were in it." Steve shakes his head.

"How do you know?" You ask.

"The job hasn't always been our life." Steve says.

"And we have capable people working for us. We feel confident stepping away when we want to. There just hasn't been much worth pulling us away." Bucky says.

"Don't read into this question, I'm just trying to learn as much as I can so I make an informed decision at the end of tonight. Do you realistically believe I'd be worth pulling you away from work?"

"We already know so." Steve says immediately. Bucky pulls out a phone from his pocket and places it on the table.

"This phone only calls your security detail. They are the only ones with the number." Bucky says.

"Sorry, are you still having me followed?!" You blink at him. Your gaze snaps between the two men. "I want an answer and it better be the truth." You say when neither of them speaks.

"We don't trust your ex." Steve says.

"That is not the question I asked you." You frown.

"Not... fully." Bucky says.

"Not fully?"

"They aren't following you like before they just check in." Bucky says.

"I don't need your men to check in on me. That's ridiculous. You make it sound like I'm in danger." You say.

"We won't call them off. I know you don't like them but we have to take precautions especially because you've been seen with us. We- have enemies and we will not leave you vulnerable to them." Steve says firmly.

"I don't like this. But I also don't like being an exposed target so- I'll yield." You say crossing your arms.

"Thank you." He says quietly.

"I have one last question, and then we can call it a night." You say.

"Anything you want to know." Bucky says.

"Since you guys have been like- basically stalking me for a few months is there anything you don't know about me? I feel like I'm at quite the disadvantage here."

"We didn't do a deep dive into your personality or anything. We really just know general things, your job, your old address, age, birthday, and some things we could observe like that you'd rather walk than take a cab and you'll sooner call someone than send a text, and at work when the store's empty and you're reading at the counter your face gives away all of your thoughts when you're enraptured." Bucky says.

"Woah." You mutter.

"We don't know much, not anything that anyone who worked with you wouldn't be able to find out but you learn a lot from observation." Steve says.

"Clearly."

"Any last questions y/n?" Bucky asks.

"What do you want out of this? Out of me?"

"We want to make you happy. Whatever that means." Steve says.

"No, I want you to be selfish with your answer, not diplomatic. What do you want out of this? What is the ideal outcome in your minds? If you two were writing this story, how would it end?" You ask. There's a pregnant pause as you're sure Steve considers another careful answer.

"We'd marry you. Devote our entire lives to you and in turn, you'd do the same. You'd come into our world, learn every bit of information and run it all with us. You'd walk into every room with us on either side of you. You could say jump and everyone under us would ask how high. In my version of the story, we make you a queen, adored by all. It doesn't all have to be tomorrow but that is how it ends." Bucky says. Steve sighs at the end of Bucky's answer. You're quiet for a long moment as you consider his words. It's dramatic and intense and realistically it should scare you because from anyone else it would come off as psychotic.

"Is it always like this with you two?" You ask after a while.

"What?" Steve asks.

"Steve you're more calculated with your words, everything you say is meticulous, thought out. While Bucky, you seem to be a little more impulsive. If you open your mouth you will say exactly what it is you're thinking, it's why you don't talk as much as Steve, right? You're more likely to say something reckless and Steve stresses when he thinks your words might cause trouble. The if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all rule." You explain. Steve and Bucky blink at you with clear shock on their faces. "You two aren't the only ones with observational skills." You say proudly.

"That is impressive." Steve muses.

"If she chooses never to see us again after this Steve I will never date another person. I simply can't imagine settling for less, because anyone else would be less." Bucky says to Steve which makes him chuckle and you giggle.

"To answer your question, yes that is usually how things are." Steve says.

"So what happens now?" Bucky asks.

"Now, I'd like you to take me home." You say standing up. Steve and Bucky follow your lead. Steve tosses bills on the table as Bucky walks you towards the door with his hand at your back. By the time you step outside the car you came in is waiting at the curb and the driver is standing by the door. Bucky helps you into the car before getting in behind you, while Steve pulls the door on the other side open and slides in, sandwiching you between them. The drive back to Wanda's is pretty much quiet, only once the car stops in front of her building and the driver gets out does one of them speak.

"Will we see you again?" Steve asks. The driver opens Bucky's side of the car and he steps out to help you out of the car.

"I only promised you one date." You say. "But, if you leave me with the best way to contact you, we'll see." You take Bucky's hand and climb down from the car.

"Your phone." Bucky says. You unlock the device and hand it to him. He inputs his number and then Steve's and gives it back to you.

"Goodnight boys. Tonight was nice." You say.

"Goodnight y/n." Steve says.

"Goodnight." Bucky nods getting back into the car. They watch you walk into the building and don't pull off until you're in the elevator. When you enter the apartment, quietly in case Wanda is asleep, you kick off your heels and let out a sigh.

"How was it? Tell me everything!" Wanda comes rushing down the hall and nearly gives you a heart attack.

"Fucking hell were you just waiting for the door to open?" You ask her clutching your chest.

"Obviously. You went on a date with two super hot werewolf crime lords I won't be able to do anything until you tell me about it!" She says pulling you to the couch excitedly.

"It was great Wanda. They're a little intense honestly, but they were perfect gentlemen and answered all my questions even though I basically spent the night interrogating them. I think I like them." You bite your lip shyly.

"Where did you go?"

"Dinner at some really fancy place. One of those restaurants with a set menu where each course is predetermined and it probably costs like a hundred dollars per person."

"Impressive." She nods.

"Everything with them is. They are-"

"Don't say too good to be true." Wanda points at you.

"I was going to say a surprise actually but too good to be true might be the reality. They talk about me being their equal in all things, like their business, and about making me queen of their empire and devoting themselves to me. It's a little love bomb-y."

"It's only love bomb-y if they can't keep the same energy. Some people just love that intensely and I'd say the fact that they've spent months adoring you without really any promise of reciprocation suggests that's just how they are. Plus werewolves are dedicated partners by nature, I mean it makes sense. Sure it's intense for someone that didn't know they were a werewolf a month ago and it's okay to be cautious, especially after Bruce, but I already told you they're not ill-intentioned." She shrugs.

"All very true things."

"So you'll see them again?"

"I'd like to." You nod.

"Oooo I'm so happy for you!" She squeals jumping up.

"Wanda calm down." You laugh but nothing could possibly chill her out now. Things are changing for the better quickly and Wanda has always been the biggest advocate for whatever makes you the happiest.

***

Part 8/???

Tagged Users: @cjand10 @vicmc624 @mandijo17

[remidyal]

Favorite D20 Villains

Just for some positivity on this, and because it's been a minute since I did a tier or ranking list, have my ten favorite Dimension 20 villains! I'm not going to include anyone from Junior Year since it's still running, and I'm going to go ahead and mention that I'm not including Ragh or Aelwyn who could both easily make this list otherwise because they've spent as much or more time on the Intrepid Hero's side as they did villains.

Obviously, there are potential spoilers in this list, so proceed at your own risk! I'm putting a read more link here just to save people who haven't seen a lot of seasons.

10. Galfast Hamhead, Escape from the Bloodkeep.

Okay I know this one is cheating because the party are the villains and Galfast is, like, the one actually good figure on the opposing side, but I'm still counting her. Just an absolute tour de force in the parts of the series she appears in, and gets away even though she technically loses to the party.

9. Natalia Cicero Connie Lee Carter Bajar, A Starstruck Odessey

She's not the most threatening villain in ASO, but there are really three fronts where villains can work for me: They can be hammy and fun, they can be actually threatening and scary, and they can be someone I desperately would love to see get taken down. Natalia scores all her points in the first and last of these categories; she's not scary, but her entire concept is just so stupid that it makes me laugh every time.

Bonus points for being the target of what I think is the best joke in ASO - high praise - the "My fiancee doesn't really do art" - "I agree" by Ally.

8. Robert Moses, The Unsleeping City.

I believe the only actual person to ever be a main villain in Dimension 20. Genuinely a monster of American history; I was familiar with him prior to watching The Unsleeping City but I would wager that I was in a fairly slim minority. There's some problems with the presentation here and the details of it - I am guessing they would have just made him a powerful vampire if this season was more recent, for one - but I can't say I wouldn't want Robert Moses' plan thwarted. Probably the closest we'll ever come to actually having a campaign fight Ronald Reagan directly.

7. The Stepmother, Never After

Never After for me has a structural problem in that there are too many ideas stuffed into too short a season, and so quite a lot of it feels extremely half-baked. The Stepmother isn't immune to this, but she's also an actual imposing figure for much of the series that feels like a true threat to the party even after they prove that a TPK isn't enough to stop them. The scene where Ylfa looks before they head to the Lines Between is maybe the best Never After has to offer, for me.

6. Madame Loathing, Mentopolis

Honestly, this feels like a more full version of the Stepmother in many ways even though there are only six episode. This is probably because she's not competing with like five other factions in her villainy. The moment where she turns is great, and there's something very satisfying about landing a twist where the villain was someone so obvious that they were dismissed by many as too obviously evil to actually be the main evil.

5. The First Stoats, Burrow's End

Here I'm referring to the four that remained at Last Bast; I think the series in some ways peaked with fighting them, though certainly there were some highlights still to come. I don't think Aabria necessarily meant for this fight to go down at the time and place that it did, but genuinely creepy designs with a creamy layer of fascism on top.

4. Tony Simos, Unsleeping City 2

Remember those three categories? Tony here scores real, real big in the "I wanna see him die" category. He's not the worst person on this list (that's honestly probably Robert Moses), but he's the one I most wanted to see get crushed, and ultimately was in an extremely satisfying way. TUC2's villain duo was overall incredible - we'll revisit that in a moment - but I cheered more when Tony dropped than any other villain D20's ever had.

It is what it could be, asshole.

3. Calroy Cruller, A Crown of Candy

Do you know what I've always hated about you, Amethar?

There's a lot of people who would have this guy at the top of their lists, and I really don't blame them; the main thing holding him back for me is that he really doesn't do very much after that crowning monologue until he goes out like a chump at the end of the steamroll that is ACoC's last battle. (Those of you calling JY's last fight easy should rewatch that one). It is, admittedly, the most satisfying of any of the villain deaths of that finale, especially with Liam's baffling last second resurrection of broccoli pope and captain carrot. Scores very well on all three fronts, and honestly if Amethar had actually died there or if he'd just been front and center at the end then he'd maybe be number two for me.

2. Null, Unsleeping City 2

A dip into real eldritch horror, and does it better than Never After in part because it stands out more against the backdrop of New York. Null scores great on the threatening front; a monstrosity of apathy and depression and lack of connection is a hell of a villain. The world where Pete doesn't roll that crazy banishment check and vanishes partway through the season would have maybe robbed us of some of the insight into this, so I'm glad we got the one that we did.

Kalina, Fantasy High Sophomore Year

This was never going to be anyone else. Kalina's getting points on all three fronts, but conceptually is just an incredible concept for a villain, feels like a real threat throughout the season until the moment they dispel her, and you can feel the amount the players both want to take her down and are in fact worried about her throughout the season. Because of her nature she's able to show up repeatedly without a fight without that not really making sense, which is kind of hard to pull off - most of the villains on this list aren't met much after their villainy is revealed. We'll see if she's back at the end of Junior Year and what kind of state Cass ends up in, but either way we'll always have spring break.

[pedroscurls]

Always Been You (Part 8).

Character(s): no-outbreak!Joel Miller x fem!Reader Summary: You can't hide your feelings for him any longer. And fortunately for you, neither can Joel. Word count: 3.3k Author's Note: And we are here y'all! I just want to thank you guys for being patient with me while I go through some things. I really appreciate every single one of you! Please, please, please tell me what you guys thought about this chapter. This is going to set up for what's gonna happen next... Warning: None. SERIES MASTERLIST

After Sarah’s birthday, Joel started to reach out more often. You didn’t mind though, you missed him and missed your friendship. But it still felt like he was keeping his distance, maintaining that boundary. All you could think about after this past weekend was that mystery woman who made him laugh, touched him in a way that made it seem like they were something more, and kissed him like she belonged to him. 

You tried to not let it bother you, and you tried to force yourself to be happy for him, but even Joel rarely talked about her. You didn’t want to bring it up either, afraid of what his answer might be and knowing that either way, Joel was still so out of reach. 

You were in your apartment, deciding to take the day off to gather your thoughts. Usually, busying yourself with work helped you forget (at least temporarily) about what was bothering you, but when it came to Joel, your mind just wouldn’t shut off. He occupied your thoughts every second of the day and it only made you upset when you realized that you would probably never have your chance with him. 

Even if you firmly believed that Joel was your one. He felt like he was your person… the person you were meant to spend the rest of your life with. 

You were lying on your couch, arm draped over your eyes to try and take a midday nap when you heard a knock at your door. You wondered if it was one of your employees, but when you stood up to open the door, you were surprised to see Joel standing across from you.

“Hi,” he said. “This a bad time?” 

You shook your head and opened your door even further, allowing him to step inside. The last time he was here was three years ago when he spent the night and you both fell asleep in each other’s arms. It felt so long ago, yet it also felt like no time passed at all. 

You shut the door once he stepped inside and you looked up at him, tilting your head in confusion. 

“Everything okay?” you asked.

“I stopped by the coffee shop and didn’t see you,” Joel began, stuffing his hands into his pockets. “One of your employees said you had taken the day off and I just wanted to see if you were okay.” 

“I’m fine, Joel,” you chuckled, reaching out to rest a hand on his arm. You watched him look down at your touch, noticing him bite his lower lip and step just an inch closer to you. “You don’t have to worry.” 

“Kind of hard not to,” he smiled. 

“You could have called me.”

“Wanted to see you,” Joel admitted. 

“Well, since you’re here, you hungry?” 

“I can eat,” he smiled. 

“I have leftovers,” you giggled, dropping your hand from his arm and walking towards the kitchen. You heard the faint noise of him removing his boots before the soft sounds of his footsteps trailing behind you. 

You grabbed the leftover lasagna and grabbed a plate for him, cutting a piece for him to reheat. Joel was leaning against the counter, arms crossed over his chest as he watched you move around your kitchen. 

“I wanted–”

“Joel, I–” 

You both looked at each other and let out a hesitant laugh when you both realized you had interrupted one another by talking at the same time. He took a step closer to you and nodded his head, “You go first.”

You sighed and looked up at him, biting your lower lip. “I miss you… I miss my best friend.”

“I’ve been here,” he said with a sigh.

“We both know that’s not true.”

“I needed to keep my distance,” Joel admitted. “But I didn’t mean for it to last as long as it did.” 

“Our friendship isn’t the same anymore,” you whispered. “And I don’t know how we can get back to the way we were.”

Joel shrugged, “Maybe we move forward and be better than what we were?” 

“What’s better than that?” 

Joel tightened his jaw; he could think of a few things that were better than being just your friend. Being this close to you and being in your apartment made his feelings for you grow stronger, made the love he had for you blossom in a way where he felt like he could just pull you into his arms and confess his love for you. He thought keeping his distance and maintaining the boundaries he decided to set in place was going to give him clarity that his feelings for you weren’t as serious as they were, but when he saw you at Sarah’s birthday party, he realized that the past three years had been miserable without you. 

When he saw you watch him kiss that woman, Joel felt guilty, felt ashamed, felt like an imposter. The woman he had been seeing was no match for you and seeing you this past weekend proved that. 

Joel still loved you… And he loved you as much as he did all those years ago. 

“I don’t know,” he finally responded. “But I have missed you too. Sarah’s missed you also.” 

“Can I ask you something?” you asked hesitantly. Part of you didn’t want to know who that woman was, but you also realized that it was one of the reasons that kept you up at night and occupied most of your thoughts throughout the day.

“Sure,” he replied.

“That woman,” you began, looking up at him. “Is she–”

“We’re dating,” Joel said, feeling a sense of guilt as soon as he answered. “She’s one of the parents at Sarah’s school. We met one day and–”

“Are you happy?” you interrupted. 

Joel looked down at you. This didn’t feel like a conversation he wanted to have, especially not since things were going so well; it almost felt like things were beginning to fall back into place. He wasn’t sure if he was happy, but the woman he had been seeing did distract him from the thoughts that were now coming back to his mind: you. It was unfair to her, using her as a way to try and forget the feelings he had for you, but Joel didn’t know what else he could do to try and move on. 

“It’s still new,” he shrugged. “She just got divorced.” 

“But are you happy?” you repeated. 

“Darlin’,” he sighed. “I don’t think I’ve been as happy as I was when you were more involved in my life, in Sarah’s life,” Joel admitted. 

You sighed, looking up at him and feeling a sudden sense of courage. “We won’t ever get the timing right, will we?” 

Joel furrowed a brow. “What does that mean?” 

“Nothing,” you shook your head, hearing the sound of the microwave alerting you that his food had finished reheating. You grabbed the plate and set it on the counter next to Joel, taking a fork from your drawer and setting it down. As you were going to walk away, Joel grabbed your wrist and pulled you flush into him. You let out a quiet gasp and stared up at him, both hands moving to rest on his chest.

“Joel,” you whispered. 

“What are you not telling me?” he replied, voice quiet. Joel’s face was inches away from yours, lips dangerously close. 

Just as you were about to say something, his phone started ringing, which prompted you to pull away before you did something that would be difficult to come back from. Joel was seeing someone and you were so close to kissing him; you didn’t want it to happen this way. 

Joel cursed under his breath and pulled away from you to see an unknown number on his phone. He excused himself and went to answer it, but all he could think about was how close your lips were to his and how badly he wanted to just kiss you. 

“Tommy?” 

“Hey,” he said. “Can you come pick me up?” 

“Where at?”

“Jail,” Tommy replied.

“What in the hell, Tommy?” 

“Can you save the lecture for a later time?” 

“Which jail?” Joel’s jaw tightened; the moment he looked up at you, though, he saw the concern written all over your face. He wanted to spend the rest of the day with you, to slowly build up the courage to tell you how he really felt, but it always seemed like life got in the way. 

“I’ll be there soon,” Joel finally said. He didn’t bother to wait for Tommy’s response before he hung up the phone. He ran a hand over his face and let out an exasperated sigh; he knew that Tommy had his troubles, but being the big brother Joel was, he always bailed him out. Joel was always there for him. 

“Hey, darlin’,” Joel sighed. “Can we take a raincheck on this?” 

“Is everything okay?” 

He shrugged. “Tommy’s in jail and I gotta go bail him out.” 

“What happened?” you asked, eyes wide. “Is he okay? Is anyone hurt?” 

“I ain’t too sure.” Then, Joel felt all his anger dissipate when he felt you reach out to rest a hand on his chest. The past three years had been difficult on him, but one simple look, one simple touch from you gave him the comfort and relief he didn’t realize he needed. 

“It’ll be okay,” you said reassuringly. “And if you need anything, call me, okay? I don’t mind watching Sarah while you get this handled.”

Joel bit his lower lip. “Can you–” he sighed. “Can you actually do that for me? Watch Sarah, I mean.”

“Of course, whatever you need.” 

“I’ll pick her up and drop her off here before heading to pick up Tommy. He can sit there a little while longer.” 

Before you could respond, Joel wrapped his arms around you in a tight embrace, burying his face against the side of your neck as he held you against him. You bit your lower lip and moved your arms to wrap around his shoulders, leaning your head against his as you shut your eyes. You wanted to whisper in his ear and tell him that you loved him, that you’d be here when he got back… 

But instead, you pulled away and looked up at him. “I’ll see you in a bit then, cowboy.” 

Joel’s lips lifted slightly and he gently gave you a kiss on your forehead. “See you soon, darlin’.” 

—

You and Sarah were sitting on your couch, watching a romantic comedy as she gushed about this boy she had a crush on. It made you smile (and a bit emotional) to see her like this; you knew she was getting to that age where boys her age had caught her interest – after all, she was a preteen now. 

“Can I ask you a question?” Sarah asked, turning to face you. 

“What’s up?” 

“And can you answer honestly? I promise that nothing will leave this room.”

You furrowed a brow. “Okay, you got me worried. Just ask the question, sweet girl.” 

Sarah sighed. “Did you ever– I mean, do you–” she bit her lower lip nervously. “Have you ever had feelings for my dad?” 

Your eyes slightly widened. After all these years, you thought you managed to keep your feelings for Joel to yourself, hoping and praying that no one would notice. You didn’t know how to answer; part of you wanted to tell someone how you felt about him, but you didn’t want that someone to be his daughter. 

But you knew Sarah would be persistent. And you knew that this young girl was too smart for her own good and if you lied, you knew that she would be able to tell right away. 

Though, what you didn’t know was that this same young girl knew just exactly how Joel felt. While Joel was seeing someone (for how long, you weren’t sure), Sarah wasn’t much of a fan. In her eyes, there was only one woman for her dad and she was staring right at her. 

“Sarah,” you finally replied. “I don’t think–”

“I promise I won’t say anything.” 

“It’s complicated,” you admitted. “It isn’t as easy as me telling you how I feel about your dad.”��

“But it is…”

“Sarah,” you warned with a sigh. “Your dad is seeing someone right now and I don’t think it’s fair if I–”

“But he doesn’t even like her, I don’t think,” Sarah pointed out. 

“I don’t think that’s true at all.”

“He doesn’t light up when he’s around her… Not like how he lights up whenever he’s around you.”

“We’re best friends, Sarah, and he’s told me that this woman… It’s still new. Give it time.”

Sarah sighed. “She isn’t you.”

“Sarah,” you pulled her to your side and looked down at her, seeing her big, brown eyes staring up at you with a slight concern in her features. “You and your dad mean the world to me. I know the past few years have been tough, but–”

“I know you love him,” she interrupted. “Whether or not you admit it out loud, I know you do.” 

You narrowed your eyes and gently tapped the tip of her nose. “You watch too many romance movies.” 

She rolled her eyes and leaned further into you. “I think you and my dad should just get it over with and kiss each other already.” Then, she turned her attention back to the movie, giving you time to just reflect on the conversation you had with her. 

Your arm remained around her shoulders and as the movie went on, you heard her quiet snores. You smiled to yourself and grabbed one of your throw blankets to cover her with it, seeing her move away from you to lie down on the couch with her head on your lap. 

Your mind then drifted to Joel. The fact that Sarah wanted the both of you and Joel to get together seemed like something you didn’t realize you needed: a confirmation from Sarah that she was fine with you dating her dad. All these years, you had been hesitant to admit your feelings to Joel because you were afraid of not only losing him, but also losing Sarah. You didn’t want a potential relationship to cause a rift between you and Sarah, or Sarah and Joel, but now that you knew that Sarah was more than okay with you and Joel getting together, it gave you hope. 

It gave you a bit of courage. 

Maybe, just maybe you would finally tell Joel how you felt. 

—

A few hours later, you had put on another movie while Sarah remained asleep on the couch. By this time, you were just downstairs at your coffee shop, making yourself a cup of coffee when you saw Joel round the corner to knock on your door. You walked over to him and led him inside, noticing the tiredness in his features.

“Need your usual?” you asked, locking the door behind him.

“I wanna say yes, but it’s pretty late and I still gotta get Sarah home–”

“Just spend the night. She’s already asleep upstairs.” 

“You’ve done enough already, darlin’, and I don’t wanna impose.”

“You won’t,” you smiled. “Besides, I’m offering.” 

“But–”

“I’m not taking no for an answer.”

Joel chuckled. “Then it looks like we’re spending the night, but we’ll be out of your hair tomorrow morning.”

You sighed and rested a hand on his chest, biting your lower lip. In the back of your mind, all you could hear was Sarah’s words.

I think you and my dad should just get it over with and kiss each other already.

“You act like you’re a burden on me,” you teased.

Joel stepped closer to you and bit his lower lip. He saw a few strands fall in front of your face and he lifted a hand to tuck them behind your ear, feeling you lean against his touch. He had a stressful afternoon, but all he wanted to do was get back home to you and Sarah. It made Joel start daydreaming again about the possibilities of coming home to you every day.

“I just know that you’re busy and–”

“Joel,” you interrupted. “I care about you and Sarah. Whatever you both need, I’m always here.”

“Why are you so good to us? To me? After all that I put you through…” Joel sighed. “I don’t deserve you.”

“Joel, you know I don’t blame you for that.” 

“But I blame myself,” he admitted. “I was miserable without you.” 

“Me too,” you replied honestly. “I missed you, a lot.” 

Joel’s hand remained light on your cheek, thumb brushing against your jawline as his eyes darted between your eyes and your lips. He thought that having boundaries and keeping his distance was going to help him get over you, but now that he was standing in front of you, Joel realized that he would never be able to just get over you. 

The amount of love he had for you scared him – sometimes, the love would become just so overwhelming that he didn’t know what to do with it. It filled his entire being, screaming for its way out, to express his feelings to the one person that mattered most to him: you. 

“You,” he whispered quietly. “You’re somethin’ else, y’know that?” Joel knew exactly what he wanted to do, wanted to say, but he didn’t want to do it this way, he didn’t want to cross that boundary while he was seeing someone. 

“Let’s get you upstairs, okay?” you replied, pulling away from him and grabbing your cup of coffee. You led him upstairs and when you opened the door, Joel let out a quiet chuckle behind you when he saw his babygirl lying on the couch, her snores filling the living room. 

“She only snores like this when she’s really comfortable,” he pointed out, removing his boots. 

“Well, she’s snoring pretty loudly then,” you giggled. “Come on, let me get you the air mattress.” 

Joel followed you down the hall to your bedroom, watching you set your mug down. He couldn’t take his eyes off of you – it was an effect you had on him. Whenever you were around, everything and everyone around you seemed to disappear and all Joel could concentrate on was you. Even now, as you stumbled and tripped over your own feet, Joel caught you instantly, arms wrapping around your waist. 

“Clumsy–

“Little thing,” you interrupted.

Joel smiled, looking into your eyes. “I really wanna do somethin’ that I think I might regret later,” he admitted.

You bit your lower lip, dropping the air mattress to the side as you looked up at him. “I really want to do something too, but I’m scared it’s going to change everything,” you replied honestly.

“I promise it won’t,” he whispered.

“But what if it does?” 

“It won’t,” he reassured. Joel moved one hand to your cheek again, stepping closer until the front of your bodies pressed against one another. 

“Joel,” you whispered, parting your lips when you felt his thumb brush against your lower one. “If I lean in and kiss you, will you pull away like you did all those years ago?” you teased, asking hesitantly.

Joel let a small smirk line his lips, shaking his head. He knew that there would be consequences for what was about to happen next, but all he could think about was how your lips would feel against his. “That’s been my biggest regret… And it’s been somethin’ that I’ve thought about all these years.” 

“Really?” you whispered, feeling his breath against your lips. 

“I’ve wanted to kiss you since the first night we met,” he admitted. 

At this point, you didn’t care about the consequences. You didn’t care that he was seeing someone. All you cared about, all you wanted, was him. 

“Well, kiss me then, cowboy. I’ve waited five years, don’t make me wait anymore.” 

Joel grinned and leaned in, his lips finally pressing against yours.

—

prev. - next.

—

taglist: @casa-boiardi || @veryprairieberry

[themaladaptivewriter12]

Title: "He is Me, and So Are We."

Part 7 of my “Cray-Cray for Cater” series! Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, and Part 6 can be found here!

Parings: Cater Diamond x Twisted Wonderland Male OC (Mirai Yuhara)

Summary:

When Cater begins to distance himself, Mirai can't help but feel he is to blame. Instead of facing his problems head on, Mirai cowers from his self-inflicted fear of rejection, and now it's too late.

cw: Angst, Hurt/comfort, arguing, use of Cater's signature spell, self-worth issues, self-esteem issues, Cater has trouble seeing his own worth, making up

a/n: It's been a while, but Ima make up for it! Promise! I can't believe this series has 7 parts already! Part 8 will be a long one!

a/n: I missed my own anniversary. IMA RIOT!!! Late anniversary post soon.

Reblogs are appreciated, just use my custom tag, #TheMaladaptiveWriter12, if you do!  (─‿‿─)♡

Cross posted from my Ao3: TheMaladaptiveWriter12

“Chamomile, Jellyfish Stingers, Scales of a Coral Snake, Mandrake Root,” Mirai listed, writing down the inventory for Professor Crewel once more. He always got sad when he saw the mandrake root. 

Per usual, Mirai was helping out Professor Crewel with sorting and organizing his supply closet. Mirai liked helping out when and where he could, but also, he liked Professor Crewel, he could trust him. But unfortunately, much to Professor Crewel's chagrin, he couldn’t make Mirai a personal lab assistant. 

“It’s unethical, it shows favoritism,” Professor Crewel said in a mocking tone, face twisted.

Mirai tried to hold in his laughter.

“Yeah, you wanna know what’s unethical? How uptight that old geezer is! I swear he hasn’t changed at all since my school days,” Professor Crewel scoffed, with a sneer.

Mirai giggles as the memory, as he continues his recording. The school, namely Trein, wouldn't allow Crewel employ Mirai, much less pay him, so instead, Crewel overlooks his mistakes in class, well, not all of them, adds an extra point to his grades where he could, gives him access to pretty much anything in the lab, and gives Mirai the harmless little leftover gems and potions from his classes.

“What’s so funny, Little Papillon?” Professor Crewel asks from where he was leaning against the doorframe. A hand on his hip, the other was holding his pipe, its contents unknown.

“N-Nothing,” Mirai stammered.

Crewel smirks, leaning his head against the wooden frame, his gaudy fur coat sliding down his shoulder even more than it already was, “You thinking of that orange haired pup?”

“Orange haired…?” Mirai thought before it dawned on him, face flushing red, “N-No!”

Professor Crewel laughed, “I jest, I jest. But on that topic, how is it going, your relationship, that is?”

Mirai flushed, mumbling, “Isn’t that a little too personal for you to ask, being my professor and all?”

“Oh? And here I thought we were quite close.” Professor Crewel teased.

“You’re almost old enough to be my father,” Mirai deadpanned.

“I’d have to be sixteen to be your father,” Professor Crewel said with a disgusted face.

“You’re four years shy.”

“Your father had you at twenty?”

“Nah, he was your age actually.”

“Huh.”

“You could be my older brother?” Mirai jokes.

That made Crewel burst into a fit of laughter. Mirai snickered.

“Okay, I can be your adopted older brother, and I wanna give you relationship advice,” Professor Crewel said with a smirk.

“Alright, no. Adopted father sounds better.” Mirai laughed.

“But I thought you didn’t like that. Now tell big brother about your boy,” Professor Crewel laughed.

Mirai broke out in a fit of laughter, “Pl-Please don’t say that ever again!”

“Father it is.”

“Ugh, that still sounds horrible.”

“Ima say it every time you act up in my class.”

“No! Please don’t!”

“Watch me.”

“But honestly,” Mirai said after his laughter died down, “I’d say we're fine. Being with Cater is new, it’s fun, and I couldn’t ask for anymore.”

“That’s good.”

“Yeah. He walks me home, and to class when he can. He’s always so caring and nice,” Mirai said with a happily little dreamy smile on his face.

“Well aren’t you a little lovesick pup?”

“N-No,” Mirai pouted.

Professor Crewel chuckled.

“You sound like Sam. He always calls us lovesick Imp, and every time I come in for work, he always tries to read my fortune, but I won’t let him,” Mirai chuckled. 

“Wait,” Crewel said, “You work for Sam?”

“Yeah?”

“And he pays you?”

“Yeah?”

“Why isn't it unethical for him?!” Crewel shouted, throwing his hands up.

Mirai laughed at Crewel.

“You laughing at me, Little Papillon?” Professor Crewel asked, whipping his head around to his student.

“N-No,” Mirai chuckled. 

Crewel smiled. “I guess you don’t need my help after all,” Professor Crewel laughed.

“I mean, I guess there is something that has been bothering me,” Mirai said, mood dropping a bit.

“Oh? Do tell.”

“He’s been distant lately,” Mirai started, eyes downcast. “I can tell he’s forcing himself, I mean, like, I don’t know, I can’t describe it, but he just feels…off.”

Crewel looked surprised at his student’s confession, “Have you spoken to him about it?”

Mirai shook his head, “I don’t wanna, I don't know, spook him? Scare him into hiding even more? I just can’t figure out what would cause him to act this way. He was fine a while ago, but now, I don’t know, he just seems distant. I want to give him the space to work it out, but I don’t want him to ya’know, shoulder it all.”

Crewel genuinely looked stumped. He thought for a moment before speaking again, “The safest route to go about this is communication. Talk about it, tell him how you feel.”

“I don’t wanna seem pushy or nosy,” Mirai confessed quietly, “I don’t want him to get mad at me.”

“Has he ever gotten mad at you for caring?”

“No.”

“Then you have nothing to worry about,” Professor Crewel scoffed, “and if he has, tell me, I’ll handle it.”

Ignoring the threat, Mirai sighed, “I know that there’s no reason for me to be so edgy, but I just can’t help doubting myself. Like what if he doesn’t like me anymore.” 

What if our “I love yous” were fake? Mirai thought.

Professor Crewel got into Mirai space to look him in the eye, “If that boy likes you, then he will stay. If he doesn’t and breaks your heart, I’ll fail him.”

“Professor, you can’t do that!”

“Maybe I can, maybe I can’t, but he does have a few missing assignments,” Professor Crewel smirked.

“I really need to get him on top of those,” Mirai sighed.

“So, will you talk to him, Little Papillon?”

Mirai nodded meekly.

“Speak,” Professor Crewel commanded.

“Y-Yes, Professor Crewel.”

“Good boy!”

Mirai flushed as the praise.

“Whacha talking about?”

Mirai looked behind his Professor and saw Cater leaned up against the doorframe of the closet, a sly smile on his face.

“Cater?” Mirai called, confused, “Is it that late already?”

“Hm,” Cater nodded, “I called and you didn’t answer, so I went looking for you after you didn’t show.”

“You called?!” Mirai gasped. Mirai dug into his pocket and found that there indeed was a missed call from Cater.

“I’m sorry, it was on silent,” Mirai apologized, “I got caught up sorting this out.”

“Go ahead, Little Papillon, I can finish up myself,” Professor Crewel said, waving his student off.

“Are you sure? I didn’t-”

“Are you disobeying me?”

“N-No?” Mirai stuttered.

“Good boy,” Professor Crewel praised, petting Mirai on the head, “Now shoo, out. Remember your homework and to study for your quiz”

“I will! See you tomorrow, Crewel,” Mirai said, waving.

Mirai hurriedly shucked off the spare labware he had on, handing them to Crewel, and made his way to Cater.

“Let’s go,” Cater said, taking Mirai's hand.

Mirai happily took Cater’s larger one, swinging it as they walked. 

“Oh and little pup,” Professor Crewel said with a smirk, “I wouldn’t want to forget those overdue assignments. I’d be a pity for you to suddenly fail my class.”

Cater glared hard at Professor Crewel, grating his teeth, as he shut the lab door behind them. Crewel laughed as they left, shaking his head and went to finish organizing his storage closet.

The next day, Mirai had his shift at Sam’s, and of course he slept in. Mirai rushed around his room, throwing on his designated work outfit, which consisted of a black button down shirt, black jeans and black boots. He grabbed his shoulder bag, throwing in his phone, wallet, and other things he might need and rushed downstairs. In the lounge grim was sitting on the floor eating a tuna bagel, which Mirai gagged at.

“Why didn’t you wake me?!” Mirai cried trying to find his key.

“I did, and you went back to sleep,” Grim deadpanned.

“I’m late!�� 

Finding his key on the mantel, where it wasn’t before, the ghosts no doubt, Mirai ran to the foyer, then suddenly there was a feral screeching sound. Mirai gasped in fear, jumping back a good couple of feet, and looked down at the floor. Grim was glaring at the Prefect, the direbeast holding his tail, bagel forgotten on the floor.

“I’m so sorry,” Mirai cried, feeling horrible.

Grin didn’t say anything, but he continued to glare holding his abused tail, ears flaming a bit higher. Mirai felt bad, really, but he didn’t have time to try and coax the cat from his angered state.

“I’ll make it up to you, promise!” Mirai called, rushing out the door, locking it behind him, and started his way to Mr. S's Mystery Shop.

Mirai shoved the door open, an apology already on his lips. “I’m so sorry,” Mirai cried, “I overslept, Grim didn’t wake me, the Ghosts hid my key, I stepped on Grim’s tail, I-I-”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Sam said surprised, “calm down, Little Imp.”

“But I, but I’m-”

“Yes, you’re thirty minutes late, and it’s fine.”

“But-”

“Ah, ah, ah,” Sam tutted, “It’s just the opening shift. No has even come in yet. Put on your apron, grab a snack, and go calm down.”

“Thank you, Sam! Sorry again,” Mirai rushed out, heading to the back.

Mirai put on his apron and grabbed a blueberry muffin and a bottle of water. As he ate, he watched Sam write the day's sales on a collapsing blackboard in colored chalk, and once he finished, Sam went outside to set it up. Mirai finished his muffin, brushing the crumbs off his clothes, and checked his appearance in the small hand mirror Sam kept under the counter, making sure he was presentable as he waited for their first customer.

It was a slow morning. A few students came in looking for a snack or two. Jack and Ruggie came in some time after, buying ingredients to make some steak.

“Leona’s in a meat mood again?” Mirai asked, laughing at the absurd amount of meat in Ruggie’s hand basket. 

“Ugh,” Ruggie groaned, “well, at least it’s not my money I'm wasting.”

“That will be three hundred and fifty marks.”

Jack looked flabbergasted. Ruggie dug through the battered brown leather wallet and gave the exact amount.

“Thank you,” Mirai chirped, putting the marks in the register.

Jack stepped up next, putting some protein shakes on the counter and the exact amount needed.

“Thank you,” Mirai said, taking the marks.

“You must buy those a lot to know the price,” Ruggie commented.

“Don’t you?” Jack asked, “Surely you must have all his favorites memorized with how many times you come here for Housewarden Leona?”

“Of course. That way, I know how many Marks I will get to pocket in the end.”

Jack sighed, but he knew not to try and lecture the Hyena, this was Ruggie we were talking about.

“Thanks guys, come again,” Mirai called as the two walked out. The two gave their own waves in return. 

A little while later, Deuce and Ace came in asking for an absurd amount of flour, eggs and milk. Sam handled that one, “poofing” everything on their list onto the counter. 

“Unbirthday party?” Mirai asked. 

“Yep, and Trey forgot to go shopping yesterday,” Ace answered.

“Trey did?” Mirai asked.

“Well it was more like he got caught up with his Vice duties that it slipped his mind.”

“Oh,” Mirai nodded thoughtfully.

“It’s gonna be a pain carrying all of this back,” Deuce sighed. 

“I’d help, but I’m currently on the clock,” Mirai said sadly.

“Why do you work anyways?” Ace asked, looking around for Sam before saying, “Sam is very picky with his workers.”

“I didn’t have a Mark to my name, and I needed extra food funds, supplies funds, and clothing funds,” Mirai sighed.

“Sucks man, I’d help if I also wasn’t getting money from my mother,” Deuce sighed.

“I wouldn’t have asked y’all to help in the first place.”

Deuce and Ace looked taken aback.

“I don’t like taking money from others without working for it,” Mirai supplied.

“Oh,” Ace said.

“Guys, enough chit chat, you have an unbirthday party to attend!”

“Oh yeah,” Ace and Deuce shouted in unison, “Bye Mirai!”

The two rushed through the shop and out the door. Mirai shook his head fondly.

“So, Little Imp,” Sam pried, sitting on the edge of the counter, “How’s it going with that boy?”

“Not you too,” Mirai whined, getting a sense of Deja vu.

“Oh? Who was the first?”

“Professor Crewel.”

“You two close?”

“I help him organize his potions closet on Friday’s.” Mirai explained.

“Huh. Anyways, how’s it going?” Sam asked.

“It’s fine, great even, but I feel like he’s distanced himself,” Mirai huffed.

“Distanced?”

“Yeah. I don’t know how to explain it, he still walks me to class, he still walks me home, he still holds my hand, but somehow he feels off.”

“Sometimes in a relationship, you feel like giving each other space, to keep from going too fast,” Sam explained, “Maybe he feels like he’s rushing things?”

“Too fast? Do you think we’re going too fast?”

“Hmm,” Sam thought, “Maybe he’s losing the feel of the honeymoon phase.”

Mirai sighed. 

“But you could always talk to him, Little imp, it doesn’t hurt to try.”

“That’s also what he said.”

“See, us wise old men know what we’re talking about,” Sam laughed.

Mirai snickered a bit, “You’re not old,”

“But you’ll never know unless you try,” Sam said softly.

Mirai nodded.

The rest of his shift was a little busier, but nothing to really work him to the bone. And when the clock struck three, his shift was over. Mirai was uniting his apron when a familiar voice rang out.

“Heyo!”

“Hey Cater,” Mirai smiled, “Just let me put my apron away, and I’ll be right there.” 

Sam was sitting on the counter again, sandwich in hand as he read the paper. “Hey, Little Imp,” Sam greeted, not taking his eyes off of what he was reading.

“Hey Sam,” Cater smiled. 

Mirai came back out, with a smile on his face, “Okay, let’s go.”

“Bye Little Imp, see you tomorrow,” Sam waved with a smile, “Remember what we talked about.”

“Bye Sam, and I will,” Mirai said with a wave.

Mirai and Cater walked in silence. Mirai looked at Cater as they walked, his face was blank, his usual smile nonexistent. 

“Cater?” Mirai called.

Cater seemed to snap out of it, face flashing from surprise to a forced smile. “Yes Hon?”

Mirai thought about what he and Professor Crewel, and Sam spoke about. “Those overdue assignments? Wanna talk about that?” Mirai asked instead. The Prefect was berating himself in his head for chickening out. He’ll wait a bit longer.

“It’s fine,” Cater said, laughing nervously. 

“Clearly not if your assignments are overdue. So Ima help you.”

“Aren’t you just so sweet,” Cater crooned.

“I mean it, Cater,” Mirai glared up at him, “You’re lucky Riddle hasn’t caught on yet.”

“Yikes,” Cater flinched at the aspect of Riddle finding out.

“So, are you busy right now?” Mirai asked.

“No,” Cater said, shaking his head.

“Good. Off to Heartslabyul we go.”

Mirai and Cater entered the mirror to the Heartslabyul dorm. Mirai thought he could never get used to the feeling of going through the mirrors. It felt pulley and pushy, and it made his stomach feel funny every time. When they entered the dorm grounds, it was quiet.

“Where is everyone?” Mirai asked curiously. 

“There was a Croquet game today,” Cater explained, “They should’ve wrapped it up by now.”

“Ah.”

Cater led Mirai inside the dorm and through the lounge and when they entered, there were a bunch of students occupying the lounge. Some were reading, other’s playing cards, one of the tables had several students doing their homework, and in the far corner, at the tea table, Ace, Deuce, Trey and Riddle were having tea and cookies. Trey perked up at the two entering the lounge.

“Hey Mirai, what brings you here?” Trey greeted the prefect.

“I’m here to help this dummy over here study,” Mirai answered, cocking his thumb at the redhead.

“Hey,” Cater gasped, but he didn’t sound offended at all.

“Where’s Grim?” Deuce asked.

“Home,” Mirai supplied, “I accidentally stepped on his tail before work this morning, so I’ve been avoiding him.”

Ace snickered.

“I seriously don’t get how you hang out with that man,” Deuce sighed.

“Me neither,” Cater huffed.

“Guys,” Mirai laughed, “He’s not that bad, nor is Professor Crewel.”

“Cater,” Riddle called, “remember to serve your guests tea, it would be very offensive not to.”

“Y-You really don’t have to,” Mirai stammered, “We’re just here to study.”

“Nonsense,” Riddle dismissed, “It would be rude not to. You’re a guest and a friend, but most importantly, it’s a rule.”

“It’s okay Riddle,” Cater chuckled, “I was getting the tea anyways. I was just gonna take him upstairs first. Black tea is fine, right? It’s only three o’clock.”

“Upstairs?” Ace asked with a smirk.

“Yeah?” Cater asked, “Why? Is there a rule against that?”

“Why upstairs?” Trey asked, a sly smile on his face.

“‘Cus I can’t play music down here,” Cater whined, “It ruins the study vibe.”

“That’s probably why you can’t concentrate, you’re too busy singing,” Mirai chided.

“Am not!”

“Fine, we can play music, but it's gonna be the instrumental version.”

“No,” Cater whined, “Guys! Mi-Mi’s being mean.”

“Suck it up you big baby,” Mirai laughed, smacking Cater on the arm.

The room erupted in snickers. Ever since Cater announced his relationship with Mirai, they became the talk of Heartslabyul. Everyone wanted the latest update on their relationship, and how they were doing. And even with Ace and Deuce’s threats to anyone who opposed, that didn’t stop the playful teasing that Mirai and Cater were subjected to. 

“So you're just studying?” Ace asked.

“Yes, studying,” Mirai gruffed, putting a hand on his hip, “something you should be doing after the state of your last pop quiz.”

A bunch of ‘oohs’ rang out in the room, and Ace had the nerve to look embarrassed.

“Hey,” Ace shouted, face red.

“What quiz?” Riddle asked Ace.

“It was a pop quiz,” Ace rushed out guiltily.

“Have fun studying,” Trey teased.

Cater and Mirai finally caught on to what they were implying, faces growing red. The room erupted in laughter. Even Riddle was chuckling.

“It’s not like that,” Cater whined, face flushed.

“Oh, yeah, like I haven’t heard that excuse before,” Ace cackled.

“Hope you learn a lot of things together,” Trey laughed. 

“Lets go,” Cater said, pulling Mirai out the lounge, tripping over his own feet.

The pair walked up the stairs, through the diamond archway, and down the hall to the wing that held the upperclassmen rooms. Cater shoved the door open and shut it behind him. Mirai liked Cater’s room, it was very “Cater-esque.”

“Uh, you can sit anywhere, I’ll, I’ll get the tea, uh brb,” Cater stammered, standing in the doorway.

Mirai nodded, sitting on the bed. With that, Cater left. 

Mirai spent the time scrolling through his Magicam, when there was clatter outside the door, and Mirai jumped at the noise.

“Uh, I need a little help, my hands are kinda full,” said Cater’s muffled voice from outside the door.

Mirai opened the door for Cater, who was balancing two beautiful covered porcelain trays, one in each hand. One had pictures of cakes on it, and the other teapots.

“Lemme…” Mirai mumbled taking the tray with the cakes on it. 

“Thanks,” Cater smiled, walking in the room, closing the door with hip. 

“Why didn’t you just use your signature spell? Extra hands ya’know?”

“O-Oh, yeah, I guess I could’ve done that.” Cater cleared a space to set everything down on a folding table. “Welcome to casa de Cater!”

Mirai laughed, “It’s nice as always.”

Cater removed the lid with the teapots on it and placed it down, “I hope I did it right, it’s your favorite after all.” There was a beat of silence, and when Mirai didn’t answer, Cater grew concerned. “What’s wrong?”

“S-Sorry, sorry,” Mirai said, snapping out of his stupor, “I-I, it’s just, it’s just, it’s very pretty.” 

The teapot and teacups were clear glass, the saucers looked like shattered glass. The pot handle was gold, it was swirled and twisted, and where the handle met the pot, there were porcelain lilies, trimmed in gold, their centers were yellow. The lid handle was a couple of lilies and a bud, and on the saucers was a lily and a gold twisted stem. The cups were like mini versions of the teapot, and the spoon was long and sliver with a lily on the top.

“What about it has you so quiet?” Cater asked, voice just above a whisper, like as if he spoke louder than that, whatever this mood was would shatter to pieces.

Mirai swallowed hard, trying to compose himself. “It looks just like the one my mother had.”

“Oh,” Cater said, eyes going wide, “I, uh, I’m sorry. We, we uh, we don’t have to use this one. I-I can-”

“N-No!”

Cater halted, not sure what to do.

 Mirai took a breath, trying to calm the sudden panic that rose through his body, before speaking again, “No, it’s okay. I'd really like to use that one, if that’s alright.”

“Okay,” Cater whispered.

Cater took a second before carefully flipping the cups over and poured the dark tea into the cups. As the tea was poured into the cup, its warm and rich scent permeated the air, and Mirai could immediately tell what it was.

“How did you know this was my favorite?” Mirai asked quietly.

Cater smiled softly, “I heard from Riddle that you like Earl Grey, so I brewed you some.”

“Thanks,” Mirai smiled.

“But you can add the sugar and stuff. I wouldn’t want to ruin your tea.”

Cater moved the bedside lamp and placed Mirai’s tea cup, spoon, and saucer, and a glass pot of honey and a bowl of sugar cubes on the bedside table. 

“It’s pretty,” Mirai said in awe.

“It’s been my favorite set, for a while now,” Cater said sheepishly, “It reminds me of you.”

Mirai flushed, “It’s far too beautiful to be compared to me.”

“I’d say you're even more so,” Cater teased, poking the Prefect on the nose, “but it fits you more than ever.”

Mirai flushed and busied himself with putting the sugar in his tea. Once it was to his liking, Mirai cradled the warm cup in his hands, staring into the deep colored liquid. Taking a sip, Mirai sighed, content. 

Cater lifted the lid of the tray with the cakes decorated on, and underneath was a smattering of little tea cakes and cookies. “These are for you,” Cater smiled.

“If you’re trying to butter me up so that we won’t do your overdue work, you're sorely mistaken,” Mirai smirked.

“Me?” Cater gasped dramatically, “Butter you up? I would never!”

“Okay, okay,” Mirai laughed, stirring his tea, “But we’re still doing them.”

“I know,” Cater sighed.

The next two hours were spent in each other's company. Mirai oversaw as Cater did his work, and of course that didn’t go smoothly. More than once did Cater zone out and stare out the window, then he would periodically check his Magicam, which ended up with Mirai taking his phone, sticking it in the bookshelf. Cater whines dramatically at that. Then Cater changed the song that was playing a bunch of times, saying it either didn’t fit his mood, or match the vibe. This then led to Cater picking his favorites to sing along to, then he started dancing in his seat, and then he went on a tangent on his favorite singers and the gossip around them as of late. Mirai had to get him back on track after that one, well that was until Cater got up to “use the bathroom” for the fifth time. 

Mirai really couldn’t help Cater other than keeping the third year on track. They had different lessons, different classes, and different requirements being in different years and all, but Mirai tried to support and help the best he could. And once Cater got focused he didn’t stop, and not long after he finished all his assignments. 

“Done,” Cater sighed, dropping his pencil and stretching his arms above his head. 

“Good job,” Mirai praised, eating yet another teacake. Mirai honestly didn’t know how many he’d eaten since they’d started. 

“That was so boring,” Cater whined, “A total #snoozefest.”

“I’m proud of you though. I really am.”

Cater looked stunned, and as he went to say something, there was a knock at the door. Cater took the opportunity to take the attention off himself and answer it. It was Trey.

“I came to see if you two wanted dinner,” Trey smiled.

“Oh! Can I invite Grim?” Mirai asked, suddenly remembering the cat back at home. “I’m sure he hasn’t had actual food all day.”

“Of course.

Trey left with that and Cater followed shortly after he started up a conversation with the Vice. Mirai sighed. Oh well, he’ll try again some other time.

Days passed and Mirai was kicking himself for not asking Cater earlier, because now, it seemed it was too late. Something had happened after that day Mirai helped the third year with his homework. Mirai knew he was hiding something, but something about that day became the tipping point for Cater, and now it all was just…wrong.

It started with Cater disappearing every so often. Mirai brushed it off until he didn’t show for one of his classes. Riddle had gotten him for that one, but Cater brushed it off saying he went to the infirmary for a stomach ache. And Mirai asked him if he was okay, he seemed to freeze up before kissing him atop his head, telling him not to worry.

 Then Cater stopped stopping by to walk him from classes. The first couple of times, Mirai didn’t mind, he wasn’t a two year old in need of a hand to hold lest he get lost, but after it continued after the fourth and fifth time, it began to hurt. Was Cater busy? Had Mirai annoyed him? Mirai couldn’t find an answer, nor did he have the courage to ask. 

And then when he saw the Heartslabyul third year in passing, he just wave like nothing was wrong. Cater talked his ear off like he always did, not that Mirai minded, but he wouldn’t touch him, or at least not directly. He’d wrap his arm around Mirai’s waist, pat him on the shoulder, but he wouldn’t hold his hand. And oh how Mirai craved to feel Cater’s lips against his own. Mirai couldn’t remember the last time Cater kissed him, he couldn’t remember the last time he felt Cater’s warm breath mingling with his own, the slide of Cater’s tongue against his, or the taste of his cherry chapstick. What about his touch? When was the last time Cater touched his skin, hugged him, held him close like he never wanted to let go when he stayed the night? 

Mirai wanted to be angry, to yell, scream, but he couldn’t. He wanted to be mad at Cater, he wanted to confront him, chew him out, but that wouldn’t be fair, because he was to blame. He was too afraid to communicate, to ask for himself, and now look where that got him. And today was his breaking point.

Mirai noticed it the moment he saw the strawberry blonde that morning for breakfast. Cater had entered the cafeteria with the rest of Heartslabyul, a smile on his face as bright as the sun, ready to take on the world. He was chatty, filling Trey in on his newest Magicam gossip, but something was off. 

“Good morning, Babydoll. Sleep well?” Cater asked, happily.

“Meh,” Mirai said, staring intently at Cater. 

Mirai reached across the table to hold Cater’s hand, but Cater’s eyes flicked to his hand, and in a split second, he dropped his fork.

“Oops,” Cater said, reaching to pick the silverware up. “Ima go get another fork. Brb!”

Once Cater came back, he kept his hands off the table for the rest of breakfast.

It was safe to say Mirai skipped over the stage of dejection and went straight to irritation. What had he done to make Cater not want to hold his hand? And to go as far as making a show of “dropping” his fork to avoid him? Mirai grumbled to himself, the moment the last bell rang, he was gonna confront Cater. The bell rang, signaling the start of classes and Mirai sighed. It was gonna be a long day. 

Throughout the day, Mirai caught glimpses of bright orange waves, but not once were those green eyes on him. But the was something that Mirai wanted to confirm, to see if the inkling in the back of his mind was just anxiety. 

“You guys think Cater’s being weird today?” Mirai asked as he did his Potionology worksheet.

“What ya mean?” Deuce asked.

“Isn’t he your boy-thing or whatever?” Grim muttered out. “Shouldn’t you know?”

“I don't know. He just is.”

“I don’t know man,” Ace said, “Maybe you’re looking too far into things?”

“Maybe,” Mirai said looking back at his work. 

It was their free period and Mirai and the other freshman got together to work on some homework.

“Yall get inna lovers spat or somethin’?” Epel asked curiously.

“Nope,” Mirai said curtly.

“Sure sounds like ya did.”

“Why do you ask anyways?” Jack asked.

Mirai looked across the courtyard where Cater was with a gaggle of third years. He was talking animatedly, his smile wide, his voice light and playful. But his eyes, from here he couldn’t see them, but he knew from earlier that despite his happy attitude, his eyes didn’t show that at all.

“He said he didn’t feel well, earlier this week,” Mirai half lied.

“Well, now that you mention it, he does seem a little unwell,” Sebek mused. 

“His vitals are coming back positive,” Ortho chimed in. “Maybe he’s tired? Idia gets like that sometimes.”

“Maybe,” Mirai muttered, turning his attention away from Cater. 

Classes ended and just when Mirai thought he was gonna make yet another trek home alone, Cater was waiting for him outside the door.

“Ready to go, Baby?” Cater asked.

“Ya sure you’re not too busy?” Mirai asked, a little more than annoyed.

“How could I be too busy for you?” 

Mirai raised an eyebrow, but didn’t say anything as he began his walk home. Cater followed happily, as he typed and scrolled away on his phone. Mirai tried to ignore it, but really? Was he not gonna pay attention to him? Not even tell him of his day? Maybe Cater really was getting tired of him?

“Well, will you at least hold my hand?” Mirai asked, voice harsher than he intended. 

“A-Ah, sorry,” Cater said, panic coloring his face. “Sure.”

Well, why wasn’t he taking his hand? Mirai stared at Cater as he seemed to panic, like he couldn’t figure out how it worked?

“Cater?” Mirai asked.

Cater suddenly looped to Mirai left and switching his phone to his left hand, he reached and took his prosthetic hand into his right. Why?! Mirai let go and stepped into Cater path. 

“What’s going on with you tha-”

The third year suddenly stopped in his tracks, and while trying to avoid a collision, he dropped his phone, the device luckily falling to the grass.

Mirai muttered a curse, “Sorry, lemme-”

Cater gasped, “N-No it’s-”

They both reached for the smartphone and as their hands collided, Mirai reeled back, trying not to let the surprise, no fear, show on his face. Cater’s hands were cold. Cater looked up at Mirai, knowing their hands touched, trying to gauge if Mirai felt it too, but Mirai said nothing, his expression unreadable.

“Sorry,” Mirai muttered.

“I-It’s fine,” Cater stuttered. 

The two just stared at each other, and Mirai tried to fight the tears that threatened to fall.

“Well I gotta stop by Sam’s to pick up some breakfast. Text ya after clubs?” Mirai croaked.

“Of course,” Cater smiled. “Later, Babydoll.”

Mirai watched Cater’s back retreat back to the school building, no doubt going to his club meet. And Mirai’s hunch was right, the theory that had been burning in the back of his mind for the better half of the week was true. This Cater was a fake. He needed to find Cater.

Mirai stopped by Heartslabyul. Most of the guys were at their respective clubs, so it was easy to slip in a claim that he was here to drop something of Cater's off. Mirai followed the hallways that led to the upperclassmen wing, and making it to Cater’s room, Mirai stopped at the door and knocked. No one answered. Mirai knocked again and waited, and still got no answer. Mirai sighed, hoping Cater wouldn’t be too mad as he tried the door, and to his luck, it was open. 

Mirai pushed his way into the dark room, and slowly tipped his way to the bed. 

“Cater?’ Mirai whispered. “Cater?”

Mirai looked at the bed and it was empty, the sheets immaculate. Mirai’s stomach dropped.

“Okay, okay, this doesn’t mean anything,” Mirai tried to convince himself as he exited the vacant room. “So he wasn’t here, cool, that’s fine. So now we just gotta find him.” 

Mirai checked the rest of the dorm, the balconies, the croquet field, and when Mirai couldn’t find him in the rose maze, he began to panic.

“Where are you?” Mirai muttered.

Cater sat in the observatory, looking up at the stars. He was tired, his brain wouldn’t shut up, and now he didn’t have his phone to distract himself. But then again, maybe it was for the best. Because now he didn’t have to see the hateful comments on his feed, now he didn’t have to see all the things he envied, all the things he hated himself for. No he couldn’t compare himself to the thousands of others who he doom scrolled across, now he didn't have to see the cringe photos his double posted in his stead. 

Cater sighed, feeling the pull of magic tingle in the back of his mind. His clone was still out there, filling in as him for the day. Just as it had been for the better half of the week. He could do this, he’d been keeping it up this long and no one noticed. Not his freshmen, not Riddle, not Trey, not Kalim and Lilia. Not even Mirai.

Cater chuckled to himself. Not even his lover could tell the difference. He was just that replaceable, wasn’t he? Just another faceless being, just another unoriginal internet personality, just another poser. The sound of the doors sliding open, made Cater startle, and then irritation washed over him. So much for some peace.

“Getting so extra studying in?” Cater asked, trying to sound like his usual self. “I feel ya. Someti-”

“Ya’know, if you don’t wanna do this anymore you could’ve told me.”

Cater whipped his head around and instead of seeing one of his fellow third years, he was looking down on his angry lover.

“I will not be your plaything,” Mirai shouted, eyes watery, “I-I will not be y-your, your latest trend! So if I’m tiring you, say it to my face and we'll end it now!”

“He-hey, wa-wait! I-”

“And the clone! Really?! I know you know how dangerous that is! How long have you been doing that?! Where are your blot levels at?”

Shoot. Cater hadn’t even checked how much he had accumulated. Cater’s eyes flicked over to his pen. He could still see red, but it was awfully cloudy, black beginning to take up around the edges.

“Clone? There’s no clone,” Cater lied with a smile, “I don’t what you-”

“Boss, I’m back. I took notes on what-”

The clone stopped dead in it’s tracks, it’s green eyes wide in fear much like it’s owners. The double looked between Mirai and Cater, not sure how it could salvage this situation.

“Mi-Mi, I-”

“Dismiss him,” Mirai said, voice devoid of emotion as he ignored the clone. 

Cater stood from his spot on the floor, “Mirai, I-I-I didn’t-”

“If you’re gonna explain yourself, I'd rather hear it from you,” Mirai huffed. “Not, not, not from him, and not with him here. ”

Cater sighed, taking his phone from the copy before dismissing him into a burst of playing 

cards. There was silence between them, neither of them looking each other in the eye. No one knew who’d break the silence first.

“Fine. Let’s just say I’m totally wrong, which I’m not, why were you here all day, and not in your classes?”

“You know,” Cater said playfully, “sometimes Cay-Cay’s brain does a silly and-”

“Cater,” Mirai called, cutting off the strawberry blondes rambling.

“Y-Yeah?” Cater smiled.

“Stop smiling.”

Cater faltered, but when Mirai’s gaze didn’t let up did Cater finally drop the act, and it was like a flip switched. His green eyes were void of their usual happiness and gone was his smile, an irritated sneer in its place. This wasn’t the Cater Mirai knew, but it was one that Mirai wanted to know, as crazy as it sounded. Mirai could count how many times he’s witnessed this side of Cater on one hand. He’d seen it twice during Riddle’s Overblot, and the other was a mistake.

“That’s better,” Mirai smirked snarkily.

“So now you’re here to tease?” Cater sneered.

“Not tease, scold is more like it. Do you know how dangerous that little stunt was?”

“I can handle it,” Cater huffed. “I’ve done it before, I can do it again.”

“Oh come on! You and I both know that’s not a smart idea.”

“So how’d you know?” Cater asked, ignoring that last statement. “How’dja figure it out, cus I honestly thought I was doing pretty good sending those copies. It worked for the better half of the week.”

“To be honest I didn’t know at first,” Mirai admitted, “But then you wouldn't touch me.”

“‘Course. Their body temperature isn’t exactly human.”

“Also, not sure if you know, but the longer your clones stray away from you, the less “normal” they look.”

Mirai thought back to earlier in the day when he’d been watching Cater. The clone looked a bit pale, sick even. And it’s eyes, they were dull, void of life and emotion.

“Noted.”

“No, not noted,” Mirai grit out. “What’s eating you so much that you’d endanger yourself like this?!”

Cater didn’t say anything.

“Are you that repulsed by me that you’d send a clone in your place? 

“Repulsed is one word for it.”

“If you’re mad at me, then tell me why! Yell at me, get in my face, I don’t care! Anything beats the way you-”

“Do you actually love me, Mirai?” Cater asked with a finality that made Mirai’s hair stand on end.

“Wh-What?! You’re asking me that after all of this?!” Mirai asked, “I should be asking you that question!”

“Do you?”

“Of course I do! Even if you’re really making me question everything we’ve been doing these past few months.”

“You sure it’s me and not Cay-Cay?” Cater smiled.

“Wha-What?”

“Oh come on Mirai! You saw it today! I’m replaceable! I’m just another soulless personality! Just another smiling face! No one! Not a single person realized that I wasn’t me! All I have to do is smile, take a pic, make a dumb joke, and act like the next unintelligent trend chasing magicammer out there, and boom! What do you have?! Cater Diamond!” 

“That’s not true and you know it,” Mirai shouted back.

“Ya’know, I started thinking about us after our break. I realized how much has changed, how much I have changed since I’ve met you. And I started thinking about how our relationship might look in the future.”

Mirai was taken aback at his confession, but stayed silent in favor of letting him speak first.

“It then got me wondering if I would ever be able to bring you home to meet my family? And I already know how they see me, but I don’t know if they truly accept us. And then I began to wonder, who is Cater?”

“I-I-I don’t, I don’t follow-”

“Is Cater me or the me I created in response to my sisters? Is Cater the Cater I created in response to my life as the kid who moved every year, as the kid without a real friend in Twisted Wonderland? Is Cater the Cater who overshares to keep people close, that they think they know me, but far enough to have a real connection? And I began to wonder, which Cater you are dating, and if you love the actual Cater, and not the one I created.”

“Of course I love you,” Mirai growled. “I told you before, I’ve never been in a romantic relationship before, so it’s def not a word I throw around lightly.”

“Then who am I to you, Mirai?” Cater asked coldly.

“You already know the answer to that. You’re my boy-”

“Nuh uh. Who am I to you?”

Mirai swallowed, taking a breath, “You are kind and caring, selfless, always putting others first. You are attentive, always knowing how someone’s feeling, always the one to lift the mood. You are you. You don’t have to be smart, or athletic, super pretty, and you don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be Cater, and that’s enough for me.”

Cater was stunned into silence, and Mirai took the chance to continue. “Cater, Cater I, Cater I want to be someone you can rely on, someone you can trust,” Mirai said looking down at his feet, “I’m worried about you, and I’ve been thinking of ways to go about this, but I was scared I was pushing you away. I’ve never been in an actual relationship before, and I really didn’t want to mess this up, well, I guess I already have, but I don’t wanna mess up anymore than more than I already have,” 

Mirai sighed, looking up at Cater, “I don’t want you to face your problems alone if you don’t have to. If you really don’t wanna talk, then we don’t have to, but I’m here for you. I always will be. And if you want me to leave, I’ll go.”

It was the quiet sob that had Mirai climbing the stairs to Cater, and when he saw the rivers of tears falling down his cheek, his heart broke in two. “Oh, Cater,” Mirai sighed, “Come here.”

Cater fell forward, and pressed his face into Mirai's chest and sobbed. Cater gripped the Prefect like a lifeline, fingers white knuckled in his shirt. Mirai let him stay there as he cried, holding him tight, and steady. The Prefect let Cater cry, rubbing his back as his breathing grew between sobs. Mirai would always be there, as long as Cater would allow him to be, he’d be there. 

“I-I-,” Cater stuttered.

Mirai sat up and gave Cater his full attention.

“I feel horrible, I feel like I’m lying to you. And I don’t know how to fix it,” Cater babbled.

“You are more than what you think, Cater. You are more than your Magicam account, you are more than what you post, or how many followers you have. You are more important than how others perceive you, you are braver then your darkest thoughts. You are irreplaceable.”

Cater was sobbing into his sleeves, shoulders shaking. 

“I’m, I’m sorry,” Cater hiccuped, sniffling.

“Don’t be,” Mirai reassured, “But I really am proud of you Cater.”

Cater slowly sat them down and pressed himself into Mirai hold. Mirai slowly fell back onto the cold floors, sighing as Cater smushed his face into Mirai’s neck. They stayed like that for a while, Cater lying on Mirai's chest, and Mirai, combing his fingers through Cater’s soft orange hair.

“Thanks,” Cater croaked after a while.

“You’re welcome,” Mirai said softly.

 Sometime after they both calmed, the two of them ended up laying on the observatory floors, looking up at the bright night sky. Cater was dozing, lying halfway on Mirai’s chest, and Mirai laying there, combing his fingers through Cater’s hair.

“You’re soft,” Cater mumbled after a while.

“Am I?” Mirai asked quietly.

Cater nodded.

“I love your hair,” Mirai whispered, scratching his nails down into the roots, “It’s so soft, so thick, and so vibrant.”

Cater hummed, turning his head into the scratches. Mirai chuckled, scratching down Cater’s head, and onto his nape. Cater sighed shakily.

“I love how bright your eyes are, and I love your freckles.”

Cater whimpered, turned his face into Mirai’s chest, and visible flush coloring his cheeks.

“I love you, Cater.”

“I-I love you, too,” Cater whispered. 

Mirai smiled, kissing the top of Cater’s head and Cater leaned into it, silently begging for more, and obliged with a loving chuckle. 

Cater yawned, “‘m tired.”

“Well we can’t sleep here, but we can go back to Ramshackle?” Mirai offered, “We can make some quick instant Ramen and watch a movie?”

Cater smiled, “Yeah. Let’s go.”

Together the two of them left the observatory, and headed to Ramshackle, the weight of their troubles seemed to float up into the stars as those heavy metal doors slid shut behind them.

[fenimores-book-nook]

A rainy day in a cozy coffee shop <3

11.02.24 ~ Saturday

Good morning (or whatever time it is when you are reading this) and welcome back to the Book Nook! It's been a while since I've written a blog post. After the trip I had to Arizona, the motivation I had was low. But we're back! Saturday mornings when I work make me feel more motivated and productive. I get to sleep in a bit longer since I work at 10 instead of 8 like my weekday shifts. And Saturday shifts are shorter too, so it's kinda like I get my fix of productivity and motivation in the morning and it lasts for most of the day. So, yay!

It's raining quite a bit here where I live, but I enjoy working on rainy days. :) This post is probably just going to be an update post, on my reading, my life, etc. So here we go. ;)

As you know, Halloween was only two days ago. We're allowed to dress up in the bookshop I work at so I had a total of four costumes for this spooky season! I decided to dress up the days leading up to Halloween too. First day of my work week: Tuesday, I dressed up like Dipper Pines from Gravity Falls. (Amazing show, go watch it.) Wednesday, I dressed up as my own version of Peter Parker/Spiderman. I think it was pretty great. ;) Then, on Halloween I dressed up as a witch! It was the costume I was most excited for, hehe. I took inspiration from Agatha All Along (the newest Marvel show and SO INCREDIBLY GOOD!), mainly from the characters Agatha and Teen. I loved it. THEN, Halloween night, my siblings and I had a little party that was a lot of fun and I dressed up with my sister as Frog and Toad from those children's books. I was Toad. :) We were adorable.

Now, the Christmas feels are starting to hit me. Yes, yes I am one of those people who listens to Christmas music early. I listened to it on my way to work this morning, it was amazing. :) But look, I don't skip over Thanksgiving, I'm just a big believer in Christmas music and decorations around turkey time as well. ;) So. To each their own.

I think of feeling festive as a win for me, honestly. The past two or so years Christmas has not felt like Christmas. (Thank you, depression.) But this year, it just hit me and my heart is all happy with the warm Christmas things. <3 Go progress! Go bettering your mental health!

READING UPDAAAAAATE!!!

Another cute illustration. ;) Yes, Christmas/Winter themed because I like it.

I'm still reading The Martian, but I haven't been reading it as much lately. I've been getting more and more in the mood for more comforting reads. Like...rereading The Fault in Our Stars for the fourth (I think) time. But also this one series my sister loves and calls her "trash read" because it's not the best writing but it's one of those book series where you can't stop reading. It's called The Zodiac Academy by Caroline Peckham and Susanne Valenti. I'm only like two chapters in but I've been having the urge to continue reading it. So, it's gotta be good.

Another book I recently started is A Month of Sundays by Courtney Peppernell. It's a poetry book about getting through a dark time. I've read one of the author's other poetry books: Watering the Soul, and it was very good, I loved it. So I'm thinking this one is going to be good too. Deep and possibly will make me cry, but good.

As I wait for my chai to heat up...today's plans are: work, relax at home, then go see a comedian at 7:30 with my dad. Hopefully it'll be good! I am excited to just chill at home, though. Rainy days always get me in the mood for cozy clothes, candles, jazz in the background, and reeeeeeeaaaadinggggg. <3

Oooh, my chai is very good. At home, I wanted a cup of coffee so I made some with creamer, brought it in to work, and made our "Spiced Hayride" chai to add to my coffee. It's chai with salted caramel and apple. (Except I forgot to add salt, but it's still delicious.) So, go make yourself a chai or a coffee or whatever kind of drinkity or sweet treat you want; you deserve it. :)

Until the next one,

Thalia <3

[syrupyy]

comic studio: one year in

so, wow! comic studio is officially one year old as of last week. in that year, i've learned a lot about running websites, and i feel like it'd be fun to write a post going over how i feel about it, as well as showcasing my plans for the future of the site

the original concept

as you probably already know, comic studio is the sequel to cookie comic creator, with the aim of bringing easy sprite comic making to every fandom instead of just cookie run. so, how'd that go?

cookie run is still on top

i guess i can't say i'm surprised that cookie run continues to be the most popular comic maker, especially since i now even have a community of cookie run fans outside of the comic creator - see: my youtube channel - but i will say that i expected one of two things to happen when i released the site: (A.) the site would blow up and everybody would be talking about it (which happened in the cookie run fandom in late 2021), or (B.) the site would flop and literally nobody would use it...

interestingly, i was wrong - for the past 7 or 8 months, comic studio has been floating in this weird in-between, where a bunch of fandoms have small, thriving comic creator communities, but almost none of them as well-known as cookie run comic studio. exceeeeeept...

alphabet lore actually gets more visitors

i'm gonna be real with you, i didn't watch alphabet lore until about a month after the studio for it blew up. i had heard about the series from various random viral tweets, but the studio was almost entirely the doing of some 16 year old british kid named Jackmoo101...

i don't know how or why it happened, but in october of 2022, the alphabet lore comic studio started getting tens of thousands of users, and at this point (as far as i can tell) is the biggest alphabet lore fan community on the internet. believe me, i checked - the amino is dead, the subreddit has like 12 active users - and yet, comic studio sees thousands of alphabet lore comics per week

interestingly, despite getting less views, cookie run comic studio is still far ahead when it comes to the amount of comics posted to the site; this is because a lot of the users of alphabet lore comic studio are under 13, so they're not actually allowed to make an account. in the future, i plan to add a Youtube Kids-style mode where users under 13 can make an account and post comics, just without features like comments and messages that could be used to harm them

what about other fandoms?

while a couple other comic studios have seen moderate success (Friday Night Funkin Comic Studio is #8 and was retweeted by a huge FNF news account when it came out; My Singing Monsters Comic Studio has captured a solid 20% of the fandom for that game; Pizza Tower Comic Studio has been slowly rising up the ranks), i'm sorta starting to notice a pattern: most fandoms that are mostly run by adults don't really see the point of comic studio. all my non-cookie run friends have said at some point "your site is cool but i don't use it because i don't have any ideas", or "meh, the danganronpa studio you made is just OK, i'd rather use photoshop." and why shouldn't they? they're old enough, they know how to work an actual good image editor... the only major benefit comic studio provides to them is easy access to sprites, which doesn't come up on google - if you want PNGs of the south park characters, you'll go to the south park wiki, not the south park comic studio. and again, i totally understand that, i just feel like that's something i should work on

the genshin impact tiktok incident

in june of last year, some random tiktok account made a video about the genshin impact comic studio that got several hundred thousand views, 50k+ likes, and a metric ton of bookmarks. thousands of genshin fans flocked to the site, and for 3 days the genshin fandom on comic studio was lively... until, all of them left at once. why? well, this goes into why i run cookie run comic studio/creator in such a specific and perfectionist manner: people care a lot about how good it feels to use something, and if you don't have both quality and quantity of sprites, they're not gonna stick around

the problem with the genshin comic studio is that there's no good assets to be found - the only official 2d art of the characters emoting are the chibi LINE sticker packs that they occasionally release, and there's only like 4 expressions for like half the characters. other than that, the only other tab is the one with expressionless cutouts of all the models - who can really tell a story with that?

so, it's not a surprise that comic studio failed in the genshin fandom at large. unlike cookie run where i was able to both provide easy access to sprites that previously weren't cut out and also provide a compelling storytelling/guide-making/question-answering/etc. platform, a lot of other fandoms just... don't have anything nearly as useful or interesting to provide. so, what can i do?

3D will change EVERYTHING

(early development screenshot)

currently, there's no good one-size-fits-all solution to pose and take pictures of character models. source filmmaker/blender/etc. are way too hard to learn, mikumikudance usually requires you to go through and translate random japanese sites to download models, and vrchat requires you to get together a bunch of friends to act it out

this is where comic studio will come in (once i finish the feature): every studio will now be able to upload 3d models, hopefully in most popular formats, and have them converted to work with comic studio out of the box - creating an entirely new kind of 3D comic that has never been nearly as doable. and because there is no competition in that market, i genuinely believe that this update will someday 10x the size of comic studio - once people find out about it, everyone's gonna want to mess around with the studio for their favorite game or series, at least once - and at that point, all i gotta do is keep as many of those people around as i can

speaking of people sticking around, the other big problem with comic studio is that a lot of people just don't have ideas. especially older users just, don't know what to do with it - i'm even guilty of this, in that a majority of the update comics i used to make for cookie comic creator were ripoffs of various old, forgotten meme comics. so, what's my plan to solve this? well, i hate to say it, but...

yeah, it's AI

(design mockup example)

2024 update: i no longer plan to go through with this idea. the original text is provided below, but know that i have since changed my mind

i plan to add an optional feature where you can type in a prompt for a comic, like "Write a comic with GingerBrave and Cream Unicorn Cookie where they get ice cream together" and the machine will just... do it for you i have experimented with this in the past, and now that ChatGPT has made a lot of accessible LLMs pop up i plan to take advantage of that. with that said: i will never involve ai-generated art, ai voices, etc. because those are inherently harmful and are not worth supporting i won't add the feature until i can ensure that user input is NOT being used to train any models without their consent, and i will make sure all AI-generated comics are tagged properly so that anyone who doesn't want to interact can just block it out i personally see AI as a tool to help humans and little else, at least in its current state - and adding AI prompting to comic studio is an extension of that. it's just a way to quickly get an idea out; either to get a quick laugh out of you or your friends, or to set down a starting line for you to make your own comic out of. i think this will be a good thing if i do it right; if you have any feedback or questions, feel free to send them my way! i try to listen to everyone, even if i don't always take their suggestions

more help needed

the last thing i can do to help improve comic studio right now is to announce that i'm looking for moderators! if you're an active user on the site, have a discord account and want to help keep the streets of Comic Studio safe, apply here!

as of today, i've also finally finished the site translations into Spanish and Korean (!) i've been putting off asking for new translations until the whole site was translated so that i wouldn't have to immediately ask anyone for more later, but now that it's done i'm finally accepting help - if you know any other languages and want to see comic studio translated into them, send me a message - either on discord, or on here, or comic studio if you don't have any of that. together, i hope we can make the site accessible to everybody

closing thoughts

i still can't believe it's been a whole year already... what is my life? thank you to everyone who's supported me and my creation, and i hope to keep serving you well into the future. if you haven't seen already, the anniversary update is out now, which adds a bunch of social features that people have been requesting for a long time - tagging for comics and user-submitted sprites, comic reposting, and the ability to organize your comics into series. i hope you'll check it out!

-syrupyy

[dangerliesbeforeyou]

Ten TV shows

Game: Add 10 gifs from your favourite shows and tag 10 people. Tagged by the amazing @dollopheadsandclotpoles <3 <3

this was honestly SO hard cos i love so many series lol...

Doctor who

no one's surprised this is my top series pfft... it just means so much to me lol... i genuinely can't imagine a future where i don't get excited for new series of the show, even if all i do is complain about said new series oops lol

Supernatural

... i'd apologise for putting this so high but i'm not sorry... for better or worse (mostly worse) this show changed my life... also thinking about destiel makes me brain go !!!! even after all these years so that's gotta count for smth lol

Russian Doll

this series is genuinely one of the best pieces of tv i've ever seen like both seasons are great but that first one is just a goddamn MASTERPIECE honestly!

Merlin

yes this show STILL has such a big hold over me lol... i regret nothing (also this is an iconic gif and an iconic moment pfft)

Ghosts

this show genuinely features some of my absolute FAVOURITE characters from any media ngl (the captain <3 kitty <3 thomas <3) and it's so funny and heartfelt and if anyone HASN'T watched it then wtf are you even doing?!?!

Miranda

not a show i talk about that much on here (since it never had the biggest online fandom anyway) but this is such a comfort show for me :') i regularly rewatch the episodes if i just want something easy going and funny to watch and it still makes me laugh even though i've heard the jokes 3000 times pfft...

Killing Eve

let's ignore the ending (and the kinda... weird final series) and focus on how GOOD the rest of the show was lol!!!!! villaneve are THE ship of all time to me like.... the chemistry between them is so unparalleled ngl

Sense 8

just the most beautifully queer and diverse series i've ever seen which makes my heart sing whenever i think about it :') like can y'all actually believe we got a series like this??? created by the wachowski sisters no less??????? insane!!!!

Inside no 9

a relatively new addition to the list but i've recently become really obsessed with this show (like i've been watching it for years but i was never that into it until it ended this year, go figure lol)... it's weird and creepy and utterly batshit at times, but you can't help but admire just how creative and interesting it is lol!

History 3 Trapped

ok so is this show good? no. do i care?? ALSO no lol. this show utterly changed my brain chemistry... whether that's for the better, you decide lmao... but tangfei will forever hold a special place in my heart so... i couldn't NOT include it here :')

Tagging (no pressure ofc!!!): @coquelicoq @aerialworms @abnerkrill @asoftspotforangels @micamicster @daikunart @ewnor @asimplestrawberry @mousetaur @yagirlyacchan

[annbourbon]

Well hello folks! It's that time of the year again! And here's my 2023 movie list, keep on mind I actually made the effort to watch movies I have never seen before, even though they're old... so even if you already watched them because they're classics, I didn't until now.

I actually need to get some books to read but for now binged all these days to watch 31 movies & series in a couple of days.

1. Mask Girl (K-Drama, series)✅⭐⭐⭐⭐

Okay this series was amazing. I've been a fan of Orange Caramel even though they're now disbanded, so seeing Nana back on the scene was so cool. But that's not all, honestly:

* Insane plot, made me gasp a couple of times and I've been into K-Drama for a while now so...

* I was actually rooting for Kim Mo-mi the whole time, but also I couldn't find myself to hate the other characters because the actors are so good<3

* Did I mention Nana is there?

* It has so many layers and many points of view which makes it so interesting to watch

I'm not saying anything else because I highly recommend this one.

2. The Platform (movie) ✅⭐⭐

A bit boring at times but quite interesting too. I watched it because someone recommended it to me. I was so disappointed with the ending but at the same time I understood why it finished the way it did. I'm not going to watch it again though. Definitely hated it.

3. Scream (movie, 2023 ver.) ✅⭐⭐⭐⭐

Since I already watched the original one. This one was awesome. I loved the original cast coming back, and also, Jenna Ortega 😍😚

4. Suspiria (remake)✅⭐⭐⭐

I got bored lol it is aesthetic but not a lot. I prefer the school on the original movie. Like, it's so pretty...

Actually I got, really bored at some parts. I wanted the whole ballet concept to be more... macabre and beautiful. They could have put anything else and the idea would have been the same.

I enjoyed the dance. But it's not classical ballet. I'm giving it an extra star because of the aesthetics. It's not creepy or scary. Just another film. Some parts are awesome but mostly... bland.

5. The Deep House ✅⭐⭐

I think, I was disappointed. It's one of those old school movies, you either love it or hate it. I ended up disliking it a lot because it felt kind of lazy. There was no message behind, there was no reason for me to actually care about them as characters, and BTW, the dude there, he was sooooo toxic. I ended up hating him the whole movie except for his last moments. I really don't recommend this one lol but here you have me, trying to find something different.

Well, sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't.

6. Doctor Sleep ✅⭐⭐⭐⭐

I need to be honest, he's still one of my first celebrity crushes. So I might be a bit biased. But I loved the movie. Before you say anything to me, I have watched The Shinning already.

7. Gothika ✅⭐⭐

I might as well be honest. I saw this movie when I was a kiddo. But I had a lot of nightmares about it. Still, now I got to watch it fully. And I realized that it's not as intense as I thought it was. I mean, yes. It has some scenes. But I'm a Hannibal Lecter and Criminal Minds fan now lol it's kind of difficult to get past that.

8. Dreamcatcher ✅⭐⭐⭐

It started pretty average and I was expecting nothing from it. But it got better. And really scary. I hated the bathroom scene but also loved the whole movie.

9. Only Mine ✅⭐⭐⭐

Scary but because it's based on a real story. The movie is pretty decent.

10. Train to Busan ✅⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Was so cool 💕 😢 more than scary it was inspiring me a lot. IDK how to explain it. But I'll be watching it again because *feelings*

I think it's becoming one of my favorite horror movies.

11. Annihilation ✅⭐⭐

Mmmmm I fell asleep. Had to watch it again. And it was not that interesting. I loved the colors though. If I have to say anything about it lol 💤😴

12. Psycho (1960) ✅⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

I can't believe it took me so long to watch this one!!! I love this movie I swear. It's such a good one. It's not as scary as I thought it would be but I think that's a "me" problem lol since it seems like I'm so used to scary things nothing really scares me anymore.

However, the suspense was so in point and I can't even believe that I was holding my breath. Like, how? This movie is so old no? It should be boring and all that uh? Well it doesn't matter. Hitchcock definitely knew his way around. It caught my interest and hold me captive till the end of the movie. I didn't even start scrolling my phone or got bored!

Sure there are a couple of plots that can be "fixed" because we now have better phones and technology, but the whole movie it's timeless. It definitely holds. I loved it. A lot. That can't be said of several other movies and tv shows.

13. Constantine ✅⭐⭐⭐

Not really scary. But really cool. I was having a crush over Tilda Swinton the whole time lol sadly she doesn't get to have a lot of screentime but I repeated her scenes for a while before going to the next movie.

14. Beowulf ✅⭐⭐

By now I'm getting tired AF of bloodbaths. Like it's not even scary. It's disgusting and tiresome. I want to see something else. I really did not enjoy the movie. I'm starting to realize that binging on a certain genre can desensitize a person and it certainly feels like I'm way over it. I remember the movie but I can't remember anything that is worth of comment. Except, maybe... that Beowulf is an asshole, so is the king, and apparently the next king will do the same thing and everyone there deserved what happened to them except ofc the people in town and kids. I don't think I liked the story or movie at all. 💀

15. Disturbing Behavior ✅⭐⭐⭐⭐

Okay so James Marsden and Katie Holmes are so cute together. And they're literally kids here. It was a bit awkward lol but I enjoyed the movie. It's kind of interesting and definitely talks about how society pressures you on behaving in a certain way. All that while making a scary movie. Which is why I might've ended up liking it a bit more than the others. Interesting how parents were so on board with this behavior too. Anyway, since I'm on a marathon I don't really have a lot of time to analyze it as much as I usually do. I probably won't be watching it again, but it's a good movie to analyze and enjoy for a while. For real.

16. The Exorcist (original) ✅⭐⭐⭐

Now we're getting serious lol or not...

Honest reaction

Before the movie>> I'm so scared of it 😭😿😱

During and after the movie>>> wow... It's so... meh 😑

I was a bit distracted during the whole movie. And it's not that scary. Just sad, long, boring and disappointing. Nothing else to comment.

My brother said that I needed to appreciate it a bit more since it's an old movie, but honestly... I prefer Psycho to the Exorcist. Like, I get it. Old movie. Different type of special effects and all that. But still, the whole thing, even the characters feels kinda flat? Nvm the spoilers. I received a similar amount of spoilers from both movies and I still enjoyed Psycho more. I did laughed a lot. But it's not supposed to be a comedy movie 😭🤣

17. 12 Monkeys ✅⭐⭐⭐

TT~TT okay? I really cried for a while. And I had to take some days off because of this one. I started watching other series, kdramas and stuff that made me laugh and forget about this one.

18. Ghost Ship ✅⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

I remember seeing this one everywhere when I was a kid and my parents trying to make sure I didn't watch it. One of the reasons I finally got my hands on it and watch it lol

I really enjoyed it. I was so sad about the girl on the ship. And I usually do not like slashers but somehow I ended up loving this one. Definitely is going to be one of my favorite movies from now on.

19. The exorcism of Emily Rose ✅ ⭐⭐

Boring at the beginning but interesting after 30 minutes into the movie. Which in a way, it's not good lol but let it be. I was thinking to call the Winchesters all the time.

Mmmm I think these two are one of the reasons I stopped disliking horror movies.

The other one would be Fi from So Weird

Which TBH is the original reason I stopped disliking ghosts and monsters. I joined Fi team first before Supernatural. Supernatural was me being edgy and sarcastic all the way, especially on my worse days. But Fiona, she's the one I truly aspired to be. Now I think I'm a mix of both and it's okay. I still prefer Fi over the Winchesters because she gives everyone a chance to be. I mean, I love the brothers a lot... okay not the point of this lol sorry... Ummmm I think you can see I got distracted while watching the movie. 💀🤣

Interesting though, a mix of lawyer-ish fight with "medical terms" and all that in a demonic possession case. Different P.O.V. sure. It definitely makes more sense than the Exorcist where the story ends without anyone (no cops, no lawyers, no other authorities) involved despite several people dying.

"Touched by the hand of God" they said. And believe me when I said "ew" during that part 😭🤣 I wasn't even trying to be funny. Seriously though... there's only one thing I despise more than movie slashers. Religion, especially inside movies. And inside books too. I was so disappointed by Susan's problem when I found out what it was about. I also spent almost my entire childhood inside several Catholic and Christian schools. Most of the time being bullied by everyone there. Please lol I can't stand them (I do realize that not everyone is like that but it left a huge trauma on me so I can't stand those things.) The fun part is, I don't have anything against religions. Just against hypocrisy and lack of comprehension. Still, it's okay for a movie. One or two hours of it won't be bothering me so much. Didn't scare me. But made me uncomfortable. I wish I could hear more about Dr. Adani (?) P.O.V. though.... I believe I will have to watch Heroes (series) for a similar take on that.

20. The Barcelona Vamp ✅⭐⭐⭐⭐

This was... triggering. And not about vampires. But about CP and apparently a real case. Obviously Hollywood has its own take on this so I can't say anything about it until I do my research on the real deal. But the whole movie was interesting and also very, very triggering. Really scary. Some scenes were too uncomfortable to watch so I had to pause it several times. Why? These things are so so close to us and people, sometimes people we know, keep hiding these things from us. Maybe the Barcelona Vamp was innocent. Maybe it wasn't. The only thing that it is true is that nothing like this happens without another one getting involved too. Another one keeping silence. Someone refusing to act. That's how bad it is. Not the movie ofc.

I love the use of color and the use of black and white too. It's definitely a good film. The dialogues... they were too realistic. Sadly. I have known people that say things like that. That keep blaming it onto the victims no matter if they're 40 or 6 years old. Don't watch this movie if child abuse triggers you. While it is not graphic it definitely makes you uncomfortable. And it should. Another thing to say about this movie: the original language is in Spanish. And when I saw it on HBO the English subtitles were lacking. So were the subtitles in Spanish. So either you learn/practice your Spanish or you'll need to find CC and the mp4 file too. To make sure you get it otherwise you'll be missing half of the story.

21. Dracula (1979)✅ ⭐⭐⭐

Okay the whole time I was so into the aesthetics. But sometimes I found it funny. Mmmm but I decided to give it a go because it was an old movie. Honestly it wasn't that bad. A bit cringe but kinda okay. The aesthetics were really pleasing tho.

22. Army of the Dead ✅⭐⭐

I started watching it because... it looked fun. Zombieland type of fun.

The OST is awesome. I'm not taking this movie seriously. I don't know why... oh yeah okay... now I kind of understand why.

Okay it has a lot of tits and a lot of blood in the very beginning. If this is how's gonna be... or not. Oh... it gets better after the first minutes 😜 A bit of character development...

I like this idea of zombies being strong and somewhat more fast. Like Korean zombies.

I fell asleep. Again... *sighs* this is ridiculous. I'll have to rewatch just... I'm not sure...

I'll be back. Let me do a quick rewatch.

Zombie tiger Valentine was awesome. Smart zombies? Cool!!

I think I'm bored...

I mean, it's a cool movie. But I prefer Zombieland.

They're supposed to be great at shooting, so why do they spend so many bullets on killing one zombie if they already know to aim for the head?

I'm rooting for the king. He actually seems decent.

Ohh no they killed his baby 😭

They should pay for it.

Okay... okay, wait a second lol I'm getting an idea...

Why there are no movies with zombies as main characters where the humans are the bad ones?

I mean, we have all what it takes: Usually someone, a doctor, trying to play God, and making a human turn into zombie. The whole zombie apocalypse goes on because they kill the family of subject Zero and all that.

This movie deserves another star just cause the OST is really awesome. Seriously. I'm not going to give it one more though lol the whole thing was quite disappointing.

23. The Fall of the Usher House (Netflix series) ✅⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Okay I saw this whole series in what? Two days? The adaptation was incredibly well done. I'm aware that the story on the book is different but I quite enjoyed the show. Although it's quite graphic. So there's my trigger warning ⚠️ if anything lol honest question, do we need trigger warnings for horror movies?

Carla Gugino's still one of my unexplained crushes, she is still as beautiful as the day I saw her for the first time, does she have a fountain of eternal youth hidden somewhere? Anyway, it surprised me how good she's within the horror genre. To be honest I haven't followed her in years but now she captured my attention so I definitely will be paying attention from now on.💕

I actually screamed during Tammy's death. Her acting is truly on point. It made me feel everything that the rest of the Ushers couldn't. Considering how tired and how much I've disassociated these weeks to be able to watch horror movies every day, I think you can say she's the best of the best.

Ironically, she wasn't even my favorite character but Aunt Madeleine and Camille who I felt they were so alike. And in a way I kept admiring them. And also Lenore but for different reasons. Still I felt captivated by the whole series. Aunt Madeleine monologue is wow! But Tammy's death and the way it was presented to us, I truly felt like I was inside with her. Grieving and feeling all that. I couldn't stop watching despite how much I wanted to.

24. Mary Shelley's Frankenstein✅⭐⭐⭐

It made me jump several times 😭🤣 but I can't quite put my finger on why... maybe because it was raining while I was watching the movie. Maybe because the timing was so on point every time the lightening strikes inside the movie, the same thing happened here...

Anyway this is my first time watching Frankestein and the aesthetics are so good 😍💖 also.. Helena Bonham Carter is there!? And considering how good Kenneth Branagh was playing Gilderoy Lockhart I really found hilarious and on point sawing him play Victor Frankenstein too.

25. #Alive✅⭐⭐⭐⭐ ⭐

What a movie! I wonder if this is tied to Train to Busan and All of us are Dead. I mean, technically it's not. But the fandom can always take upon it and make it a thing. It has happened before lol right?? Please someone needs to make it a thing 😭 even if it's just a fanfic or something. I'll be so happy.

It keeps reminding me of coronavirus 😭

The guy is a good person but... why is he eating such a big ramen? He should be breaking it into small portions lol he really does not know anything about survival. Poor thing 😕 I shouldn't be laughing so much about it but... he's really stupid at times. If he survives it'll be a miracle lol

Oh... she's cute 🥺 kind and smart. She's going to die lol

They are so lucky to have each other. 🥺😭

Oof!

Okay... let's start counting how many times he actually screwed it off lol

Every time I think he's about to screw it off, he saves her lol and I like their dynamic so much 🥺😭 like, not really shipping them. Just, rooting for them and loving their friendship. That's a friendship right?

OMG she's so cool...

No way... see? This is why I enjoy Korean movies so much... their plot twists are insane...

🥺😭💕

26. Freaky✅⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

O.M.G. it's definitely one of the best movies I've seen in a while. Scary but original. And funny. I loved it. Great characters. Awesome development. Good acting. Made me laugh a lot and I was rooting for the heroine. But also... aw 🥺🤧 that ending... And the beginning! 😱💕

27. A nightmare on Elm Street ✅⭐⭐⭐

It's a great movie. Seriously. But I had to pause it several times because I felt sleepy... really sleepy. Which is so weird because I usually don't feel like that while watching a horror movie.

Anyway I found odd watching Johnny Depp as a kid 🤣 but I was rooting for Nancy's character all the way.

28. The Wizard of Oz ✅ ⭐⭐

Aw... cute singing...

Toto what!? 😱 Well...

I'm not sure I liked the movie lol it felt like.... why are they singing so merrily about the death of the witch!? I feel like they're so mean 😭💀

.... Did Glinda just decided to make Dorothy part of her beef against Elephie? (Ignoring the musical plot ofc) they're so mean lololol

Pretty sure lions and tigers are not part of the forest 😭🤣 okay maybe there are tigers on the rainforests. But pretty sure you won't find one... in middle of the forest. Nvm. I realize it's supposed to be a movie... sorry about that lol

Ohhh that last part when they are all together, facing their worse fears together. It's so cute.

I love the hourglass. It's red!! 😍 so pretty.... the movie is cringy lol but the songs are catchy. The red shoes are marvelous too 😍

And that's it. I don't like this movie lol but the songs are awesome.

29. Cirque du Freak ✅⭐⭐

Ken Watanabe!? Josh Hutcherson, John C. Reilly, Salma Hayek and William Dafoe!? How come I didn't watch this first!? 😭😱 looks so cool...

The intro is so long... but kind of interesting lol

I was eating... lucky me, I don't really get nauseous or sick of watching gross things. I used to watch Dr House or Hannibal when I was a kid while I was eating. That's how strong my stomach is lol

... Is it just me or Evra looks a bit like Ross Lynch here? I love Ross Lynch.... maybe that's why lol

Being honest it was below average. But I also liked it. So... the stars do not say how much, because then it'd be a 3 or 4 but the movie deserves only two.

30. Suspiria (original)✅⭐⭐⭐⭐

The aesthetics are so 😍💕

Did I mention I'm a Dario Argento fan? Okay, I'm a new fan lol like, I'm barely starting with his movies and all that, but still, he's the only one who has actually made me feel so excited and terrified at the same time. Like actually screaming and keep me horrified for several minutes. I loved Phenomena with Jennifer Connelly. Suspiria seems like a dream and a nightmare at the same time.

She looks like Lily Collins 😳

God... the aesthetics... that blue, and those walls... 😍💖

It's actually ballet! 😭😚

The music gives you an actual headache...

Are they trying to drown her!? That diet seems so... lol still... I wish there was a school like that. Minus the bloodbath ofc

lol I like how Susy prefers to sleep before spying on the teachers. I'd be pissed irl because there's nothing better than a mystery but... the movie's making me laugh a little with that. I think they're putting something on her food though.

Okay Susie's definitely taking pills to sleep, you do recognize the signs after a while... I'm surprised I didn't notice before... but Sara keeps shaking her so much it's impossible for her not to be awake unless she's on drugs 😭

Omg...

Okay... the ending was a bit disappointing. But also good? Still, that makes me like the remake a bit more. Ummm... I think I like both movies now. I'm keeping this on first place because the aesthetics and music. Some parts are dark but nothing big if you're into horror movies. Still... I think I want to watch it again because of the aesthetics. *sigh*

31. (No title. I'll be watching a movie with a friend 😚💕)

🦇✨ 🎃 ✨ 🎃 ✨ 🎃 ✨ 🎃 ✨ 🎃 ✨ 🦇

My take: I'm usually a person who likes horror movies. A lot. But... I'm so tired of them RN so I definitely took some horror movies out to make it a bit more light and that's why I ended up watching The Wizard of Oz and Cirque du Freak. And I still ended up hating them lol that's how tired I am. I'm about to puke already. Seriously. Someone please get me something else to watch lololol

I am now looking for the original books of Oz after watching Return to Oz and The Wizard of Oz (which tbh I never saw the original one until now, but several animated ones, and I always found them so creepy I could not even.)

I'm definitely not going to watch horror movies in a while. I'm so done with it. Also, this is why I was struggling so much and couldn't find another movie to make it 31 to the point I almost fall asleep with most of them. I can't feel a thing with most of them. And I love Suspiria. I'm not going to watch anything else after this movie. Not right now at least.

I did enjoy the movie with my friend. I think it's one of the best things. Just because I spent almost 2 hours with that person. That already makes everything 1000% better.

Things that I've learned:

* I hate slashers, unless they're really good or do not have so many gory details. Or it's a bit more "elegant" lol idk how to explain it, except for me liking more Hannibal than a random freak with a knife. You guys get it no?

* My favorite Halloween movies are with ghosts, but I prefer psychological thriller movies.

* I can endure religions on movies but I hate them with passion.

* Monsters are not my thing because they usually are so brainless and so are the people around them trying to kill or run away from them. Use your brain! (This is why I'm a Ravenclaw -.-)

* American zombies suck. They're slow and boring. Please do not mention to me War Z. Korean zombies are awesome and they're the only reason I started watching zombie movies 💀 I like them fast.

* I will root for the brainy and most sassiest person in the room. If this one is killed I will root for the killer.

* I don't think I'll be celebrating Halloween with horror movies next year lol but who knows right?

* The winner of this list would be: Psycho. And in second place I'd be picking Freaky cause I really enjoyed that movie.

* I'm growing less and less fond of Halloween the more time it passes (not the idea itself, death and undead will never scare me but the whole horror show puts me a bit.... off now. I'm starting to understand my own roots a bit more too like being fond of this time of the year because it ends but not because of the horror, ya know what I mean? I'm getting old I think. Or maybe I'm coming back to the person I used to be.)

* Most horror movies and series lack of character development or something that makes it attractive and lets the audience feel compelled to root for them. That's why many people started rooting for the monster. It lacks humanity. They're just bloodbaths. It's boring.

* It took me so many hours to think of my costumes, design something somewhat decent, pull all the pics and watch movies at the same time 😭 🤣 it was fun but I won't be doing this again.

* I love autumn 🍂🍁🍂

* Somehow I'm more in touch with my feelings right now.

* Some movies and series actually made me feel inspired to go back and write!

* I really, really love autumn 🍂 it's just this cozy, nostalgic feeling. I'm trying not to cry whenever I see the sunlight through the leaves. 🍁

[tinamaetales]

You’re not sorry

“So you’re apologizing…..Ok, I don’t forgive you……No, I’m not gonna give you closure. You don’t get that. You have to live with the shitty thing you did for the rest of your life. You have to know that it’s never, ever going to be okay……I’m not gonna feel better and I’m not gonna be your prop so you can feel better” - Herb Kazaz, BoJack Horseman Ep. 8 Season 1 “The Telescope”

It has been five years since the last time I stepped foot inside my Psychiatrist's office and now looking back there's a part of me that screams I should have continued my therapy....but the thing is I really cannot afford it. And now, I have become messier than ever. My depression got worse and I'm just trying to survive each day. That's the keyword, trying. I used a lot of distractions though, good and bad. Good distractions are the music of my fave, iKON, and watching Miami Heat games. Bad distractions are spending an awful amount of time watching tiktoks of those who are as mentally ill as I am because instead of going to therapy we just rely on the internet to have some sense of belongingness especially when you feel like no one is really on your side. And I do feel that most of the time......I feel like no one truly understands and no one actually believes that I am struggling badly. I'm mentally unstable despite the fact that I do not have a proper diagnosis about my condition. I just know. Why? Because it's my mind and my body. I can feel it. For fuck's sake, I live with it.

What I noticed in our society is that it is easier to doubt someone who is vocal about their struggles instead of believing them and supporting them. It is easier for our society to gaslight someone into thinking that they are just allowing themselves to be weak instead of understanding them. And when someone decides to end their life, it's either people would finally get it and feel remorseful that they should have seen the signs or they would still say that the generation of today is just not mentally strong enough to handle life. And then there's another scenario, someone will be badly mentally fckd up that they end up being a horrible person then they will treat others horribly too. Hurt people will hurt people and so the cycle never ends.

As I mentioned earlier, I used a lot of distractions as I try to live each day. For someone like me who hates going outside and prefers to be alone, binge watching shows on streaming apps is a form of distraction. I’m not really picky when it comes to movies or series that I watch though, I just want the plot to make sense and not be over the top with so many plot twists and unnecessary “different” endings. One of the series I ended up loving is BoJack Horseman. 

BoJack Horseman is not an easy to watch show. Yes it started as a quirky show about a former lead star of a successful 90s sitcom but as it progressed, it showed the harsh reality of the entertainment industry and how not being held accountable for your fuckery can make you a monster. It's crazy because BoJack as the main character of this show is not likable at all (at least for me). Throughout the show you kinda cheer for him to get better and grow up but then he always ends up disappointing you. However, knowing his history, especially with the kind of family he has, you can't help but feel some empathy for him. I guess that's the thing about main characters, despite the flaws you still want them to become triumphant in the end because somehow you can see a version of yourself with them. But how long can a person tolerate one's behavior? I do not want to label myself as a good person because I know that I am far from that but there is a certain part of me that knows how to forgive especially if they are deserving. However, when someone refuses to be held accountable for their mistakes and refuses to see how toxic they are does it really make me the bad one here if I chose not to forgive?

The show has six seasons and 77 episodes but I did not feel that it was long because the execution of the episodes are great. There are a lot of episodes which make me feel uneasy about how close they hit home. But for this blog post I will be discussing two scenes from two different episodes because these two scenes are about the topics of accountability and forgiveness: The Telescopes from ep 8 of season 1 and It’s You from ep 10 of season 3. 

Have you ever met someone who is too full of himself? A person who obviously has issues in life but does not exert efforts in making himself become better and instead use their difficult past as an excuse for being a shitty person? A person who does not want to be held accountable for their mistakes and people around him tolerated him so he never learns? Well that’s my father. Also, that is who BoJack Horseman is. But if we are going to make this a competition about who is worse then my father is definitely winning this contest, unanimously. While watching the show, I cannot help but see parts of my father in BoJack Horseman especially in episodes “The Telescope” and “It’s You” Both of those episodes have confrontation scenes with a friend of BoJack (Herb in episode 8 season 1 and Todd in episode 10 season 3) who refused to accept his apology and want him to be held accountable for his actions. And I both agree with them.

For context, in the “The Telescopes” episode, Bojack apologized to his friend Herb for betraying him years ago. He chose to protect his career instead of standing with Herb. And he even further that betrayal when he did not contact him for so many years. Now that he learned that Herb has cancer, he decided to visit him and apologized and I like that Herb refused to accept such a self serving apology. The quote above was what Herb told BoJack after he apologized. I like the way he emphasized how BoJack is only apologizing now so he can have closure and to make himself feel better. Because horrible people do that. They will only apologize so that their guilt will not eat them up especially when their apology gets accepted. But the damage has been done, right? Just like what the famous saying states, the ax forgets but the tree remembers. What’s the point of accepting an apology if it does not make you feel better but will only make the jerk feel better coz “yey, finally!” their shitty actions were forgiven. Those kinds of apologies are self-serving. They ended up fighting and then Herb said this line (I really like this one, thank you writers!) “You know what your problem is? You wanna think of yourself as the good guy. Well I know you better than anyone and I can tell you that you’re not. In fact, you’d probably sleep a lot better at night if you just admitted to yourself that you’re a selfish goddamn coward who takes whatever he wants and doesn’t give a shit about who he hurts. That’s you. That’s BoJack Horseman” Now, that’s the kind of wake up call that someone like BoJack deserves to hear. He deserved those words because they are true, he’s a coward. He always blames others or the circumstances to make himself feel better instead of owning up to his mistakes. 

Another episode I mentioned here is the 10th episode from season 3 of the show and here is some context: Todd and BoJack had a confrontation. BoJack was mad that Todd did not want him to become a nominee for the Oscars and then Todd was mad that BoJack slept with Emily (the woman Todd dated). But honestly, I think it was really not the Emily thing that Todd was mad about but rather all the other things BoJack did, like when he sabotaged Todd’s opera, and they all piled up so Todd ended up bursting at that moment. BoJack said “I’m sorry, I screwed up” to which Todd replied with “You can’t keep doing this! You can’t keep doing shitty things and then feel bad about yourself like that makes it okay! You need to be better!” BoJack tried to reason out so Todd followed it up with “You are all the things that are wrong with you. It’s not the alcohol or the drugs or any of the shitty things that happened in your career, or when you were a kid. It’s you” This is another “calling out” that BoJack deserves because he just keeps on doing shitty things and then feels bad about it for himself but does not actually do things to make things right. At some point, as a friend you will just get tired of someone like him. And while there’s an argument about what led to this confrontation with Todd is not something that Todd himself should be mad about, I saw that scene as a way of having Todd as the “representative” of all the other people that BoJack treated badly. In that scene, he was being called out for a lot of things he did not just related specifically to Todd.

So now we start the discussion about my father. Actually every time I typed the words “my father” I felt disgusted. I hate being associated with him. I hate the fact that we share the same DNA. I just hate him. And before the moral police come here and yell “But he is still your father!” please hear me out first. A child will not resent or hate their own parent if the said parent was not horrible. And that’s my main issue. My father was a horrible person to us. Actually an entire year is not enough for me to tell the entire story of how horrible he was and why he’s the reason my mother, my sister and I are all fcked in the head now. He treated us horribly but always gave the reason that he’s older so he knows better. He always used the “parent” card and always used the “I provided you food, I sent you to school….” monologue as a justification to his behavior. He’s the kind of person that should have never become a parent and a husband in the first place. He’s a hurt person and he ended up hurting others too - he hurt us. His decisions in life always end up with the rest of the family suffering the most. He had this mantra that since he had it difficult growing up, his children should also not have it easy in life. The latest shitty thing he did is getting a housing loan that he cannot afford just so he can brag to his mother. And when he experienced a difficult time getting employment, I ended up using my bonuses and even acquired a loan just so we can pay for this house because he promised to pay me back once he gets another contract again (he’s a seaman). But then he never did. He was aware of this. He was aware that employment in his career would wither as he aged but he did not care. He still continued with that loan despite objections from us; hell, that jerk was even mad that we were telling him not to buy a house. And fast forward to today, I have no savings and I have a loan too. You might be wondering where he is? Back in his hometown, chilling. He can even sleep peacefully at night while snoring while me, on the other hand, is more mentally fcked up than ever. As I mentioned earlier, he did a lot of shitty things to us but that housing loan was just the most recent. So the “calling out” scenes from BoJack Horseman were some of my favorites from the show because those are also the things I wanted to tell him. I just wish I had the courage to do so.

My relatives are very much aware of this situation but they always tell me to just forgive him; easy to say when you’re not the one directly affected by his actions. They even have the nerve to give me lectures about how important it is to forgive and it makes me a bad person for treating my father this way. But am I really the wrong one here? He’s not even sorry. For years, he will do shitty things to us. Sometimes he apologizes but sometimes he does not. But in all those scenarios, he’s not sorry. I do not feel any sincerity on his part at all. But why is it that despite the fact that I’m the one who was wronged here, he’s the one who has people on his side while I’m the one being labeled as the bad one? I am conflicted because I cannot forgive. For a long time now, I tried so hard to find it in myself to learn to forgive not just him but also all the other people who wronged me but I really cannot do it. I cannot do it because I’m a tree that remembers every hit of the ax while the ax is living comfortably. Why am I the one who cannot have peace of mind when I’m the victim? I have been struggling with the concept of forgiveness for a long time but those confrontations from BoJack Horseman episodes are somewhat validating because it shows how I’m not the only one who cannot accept apologies. He’s not even genuinely sorry, so why would I extend the olive branch here?

X,

TinaMae

PS, There are a lot of things from BoJack Horseman that I would like to discuss and hopefully I find the time to write about them. The show is good, I highly recommend it!

[sakuplumeria]

Hello, I am using my main account since I can't ask questions with my sideblog. Thank you again for the questions choices, they were all awesome: 2), 4), 8), 17), 32), 38), 46), 52), 61), 67), 73)

Thank you for the ask!! Interesting choices~

2) A character in Saiyuki that grew on you

I always like Goku. I don't know why I liked him when I was little, but the more I know his story the more I like him. I'm quite sad when people see him like a child, he sees so much more than it seems. I'm thrilled to see how sensei developed his character, specially in Even a Worm arc, and how sensei drew him much more mature in Blast. Not only Sanzo, but he's like the sun to me too :3 There are many characters that grew on me as I spent more time with Saiyuki, Sanzo, Koumyo, Tenkai, Jikaku, Gat…

4) Favorite member of Kougaiji’s group

Is Zakuro part of his group? Yeah? No? Then Instructor Wang it is. I'm… oddly attracted to eccentric old men lmao.

8) Which character do you really dislike?

This is a hard question, I never really dislike a character as they all have their background stories… If I have to choose though, Li Touten, probably, for using Nataku like that :/

17) How long have you enjoyed Saiyuki?

I watched Reload and Reload Gunlock on TV when I was in elementary school, and you know they used sensei's art for the ending songs? I was so captivated that I searched for the manga. That's the first time I really worked myself to search for something. I just realized it's been around 20 years… omg

32) Do you enjoy writing/drawing/creating fan works for the Saiyuki fandom?

Absolutely! I write and draw and make covers, also translating the songs to English. I used many websites and you can see them here. I wish I have the energy to create more… at least to finish the ones I started..

38) Do you binge read the entire series or read selected chapters?

Sometimes I binge read, sometimes I read selected chapters. Mostly I read selected chapters when I'm in the mood!

46) If [character] died, what do you think they’d be reborn as?

Since you didn't give me the character, I'll go with Goku for the next two questions. By the way, I don't think Goku will die soon, I headcanon him aging very slowly… I wrote a fanfic about this, where Goku lives in the modern world lol. But anyway, I kinda imagine him reborn as a celestial being, much like Jeep, with powers and big responsibility for the world. A dragon maybe? I never thought about this before actually so I just type whatever pops up in my head lol

52) What are 3 tropes that describe [character]?

Amnesiac Hero :(

Innocent but Powerful

Bottomless Pit, as they always say

61) Do you seek out spoilers or avoid at all cost?

I don't mind spoilers, sometimes it helps me to get into the story better.

67) What’s something you think would improve the series?

Remake all the animated versions, with quality. Let's say, by Platinum Vision, the one who produces Reload Blast. Honestly, I like Saiyuki so much, but I don't rewatch it that much, besides Burial, because of the quality of the animes… It's also the reason why it's so hard to tell my friends about Saiyuki. People tend to watch rather than read, but I don't really want people to watch Saiyuki with the quality they have now. So yeah…

73) What character is still a mystery to you?

I wanna say Koumyo but well, I'm more interested in Tenkai and Taruchie. They're the ones with connection, connecting Ibun, which I see as the oldest story of Saiyuki on earth, and Blast, which will be the ending of it. Even though they're not the center of the plot, I believe they took an important part in it. That also brings me to Sai Tai Sai... but I guess we'll find out about Sai in the future. I hope to see Tenkai and Taruchie lore as well :3

[simm-mouse]

Thank you for @juliabachelor tagging me^^

1. What's your favorite sims death?- I like the death by ranting in The Sims 3. I find it funny that Grim is pissed off about sims talking shit about em, and makes them die and come back to life as a warning. If you do it again within 12 hours or a day he will take the sim's soul. My guy can't handle criticism. Imagine dying because you talked shit about the reaper

2. Alpha CC or Maxis Match?- I like both. At first I started with Alpha CC, but then I've been leaning more into Maxis match side of CC

3. Do you cheat when your sims gain weight?- Nope, I believe in putting in the work to getting the body you want

4. Do you use move objects?- Yep, never not used it

5. Favorite Mod?- I like any mods that give the game more realistic feeling. I like pregnancy mods so there's more to the pregnancy like ultrasound. I also like mods where they have story progression with Sims that you are not playing so there's stuff for them to do

6. First game/expansion/stuff pack you own?- So I'm going to be a little extra rn, and talk about which pack I got for each game in the first ever game I got in the series. I was renting the console versions before I got my hands on one of the pc versions (Back then my family was more into consoles). The first ever game i got in the series was the Sims 2 for PS2. As for the main series on pc, I got the Sims 3. For 3, I actually got two packs at the same time. I got the Sims 3 supernatural and pets for christmas. A couple years later my grandma got me the Sims, and all it's packs from either a yard sale or thrift store. I think the first one I downloaded onto my computer was livin large. A year or two later I got the Sims 4 and for that one, I got one of those bundles for discs. It was the spa day and perfect patio bundle. Lastly, when I got the Sims 2, I think for that one I got freetime first

7. Do you pronounce live mode aLIVE or LIVing?- Just aLIVE

8. Who's your favorite sim that you've made?- I think One of them was named Miyah Bloodbore. She's a half human half vampire sim that tries to control her urges to bite sims. I'll draw her sometime in the future

9. Have you made a simself before?- I used to back when I was a fetus, but now I cringe at the idea of making myself in anything

10. What sim traits do you give yourself?- The ones I'd have now would be Socially awkward, Neurotic, Artistic, Brooding, and Clumsy

11. Which one is your favorite EA hair color?- I don't have a favorite

12. Favorite EA hair?- I don't have a favorite for this one either

13. Favorite life stage?- Adult

14. Are you a builder, or are you into the gameplay?- I'm both. When I started playing the game, I was more into gameplay. Over the years I have gone into building. But sometimes it does depend on the mood I'm in, Sometimes I'd rather build a house then play the game lol

15. Are you a CC creator?- Nope, but it would be cool to try through

16. Do you have any sim friends or a sim squad? I think everyone here in the Sims community is lovely and I would love to be pals with y'all. I do have real life friends that also enjoy the series

17. What's your favorite game out of the series?- this might be a little surprising considering I never really talk about this one, but my favorite one out of the main four is Sims 3. Sims 2 is fun to play, but Sims 3 gives me so much nostalgia. I played that one the most out of all four, yeah it's not perfect but I still enjoy playing the game. Also the color wheel, and open world, how I miss it

18. Do you have any sims merch?- Nope, but I would like to make some since I made a Tycho charm several months ago

19. Do you have a youtube channel for sims?- Nope, but I used to watch a lot of Sims gameplay

20. Who's your favorite CC creator?- I have so many favorites I can't pick just one! One of the creators I get CC from the most is RavenSim

21. How has your sim style changed throughout the years?- It has changed a lot. I used to be those summers that would make the perfect life for sims. But now whatever happens, happens and I just roll with it

22. What's your Origin/EA ID?- Hilmouse08

23. How long have you had a simblr?- I've had this account for several years. Since becoming a simblr, it's been several months

24. How do you edit your photos?- I use photoshop, for lately I've been wanting to try reshades

25. What expansion do you want next?- I want that damn horse pack, or maybe something with fairies. Also maybe not a new pack, but fix or add more to packs that already exist like they did for spa day

Again, I'm very bad with tagging people. I really don't know who to tag. So if you're reading this and have not done this yet, you have been tagged 🫵

[lunova-rambles]

finally finished Hilda s3 a couple of days ago and straight up cried :') I can't believe it's over

I have some critiques about s3 alkjahf so I'll get those out of the way first and then all my crying fangirling at the end!!

My main gripe was with the alternate universe episode; it feels so out of place compared to the others?? I kind of get what they were going for since the moral sort of ties into the finale, but it wasn't that clear of a tie-in, so it feels more like it should've been a s2 episode tbh?? But obviously you can't go back and add smth to s2 LOL so I just think it could've been written a little better considering the pacing of the season

I know it was a longer finale BUT GIVE US MORE EPISODES PLEASEEEE 13 eps in the first 2 seasons and only 8 in s3 (similar runtime tho ig) aghhhh I want the balanced numbers though :')

ANYWAY AGHHHH HILDA IS OVER NOOOOO 😭😭 GIVE US ANOTHER MOVIE PLEASEEEE

It's hard for me to find many shows to watch/finish since I have big issues with second-hand embarrassment, but thankfully Hilda has less of it, so it's something I latched onto and binged with my younger sibling! So it has been a comfort show for a couple of years now :')

THE ART STYLE. Oml the art style. Bruh I'm so heckin glad about the visual design choices of this whole series. The colour palette is limited in a way and it's so gosh darn consistent and balanced and it makes me want to eat every frame oml. Something I always point out to friends is the environment since I did an art style challenge once and grew to appreciate the details (not to mention the soundtrack?? geez what a solid show)

But by far my FAVOURITE part of this show is the contemporary fantasy aspect, specifically contemporary fantasy where the fantasy elements are still unnatural but accepted. I love any story like this where magic isn't exactly 'common,' but it's accepted as normal. The best example of this are the nisse since they're so common in Trolberg, yet most people who live there don't understand exactly how they work!

Overall, love this show, you know I love it when I wish I could've helped make it