#still can’t believe I actually have some

[yanderenightmare]

Gojo Satoru & Geto Suguru

♡ TW: fear, prank, prank gone too far, dubcon-ish

♡ GN reader

“Haha, ‘Toru—nice try,” is all you say to the tall figure, having stood patiently in wait and perfectly positioned to do a jump scare with his silly store-bought Ghostface mask on.

You sigh and go back to your dealings, and he remains as if the gist isn’t up—ever-committed to the task as if you’re suddenly going to forget that it’s him. Like—of course, it’s him! Despite what the movies will have you believe, not a lot of guys have bodies like that.

If he was really committed to tricking you, he should have worn something baggier to hide his perfectly shredded chest. But no—he’s set on wearing his black muscle shirt—probably opting to make you both scared and horny at the same time.

You carry on with what you’d been doing—cleaning up the kitchen. “Oi, quit standing there already and come help me.”

He doesn’t. But that’s not unlike him—he’ll take any excuse not to do the dishes. And right now, the excuse is this dumb prank. But it’s your fault in any case—you’re the one that put him up to it by saying he’d never be able to get a rise out of you.

You sigh and scold yourself for being so short-sighted—should’ve kept my dumb mouth shut. Knowing him, he’s probably going to be this way all through October, the insufferable prick.

He still stands there. Silent. And still. Eerily unlike him. And almost, just almost, utterly unlike him.

But no—don’t be stupid! He’s the same height and the same build, for fuck’s sake! What are the odds of someone with the exact same measurements as your boyfriend breaking in right at the time he isn’t around in something so cliche and dumb as a Ghostface replica? No, it stinks of Satoru—it’s got his goofy antics written all over it.

You scoff again—a little winded this time, a little strained. You have to hand it to him—he is a little scary when he shuts up for this long.

“You can knock it off, Satoru. I know it’s you.” You face him again, hand on your hip, with a frown. 

You sigh again when he still doesn’t answer, insisting on his stupid tactic of psyching you out. And you’re getting pissed that it’s actually almost working.

“Ugh, you’re so stupid.” You start stomping over—aiming to rip that dumb thing off his head and point your death glare directly in his insufferable blue eyes—those insufferable blue eyes you’re actually starting to hope are under there more than knowing without a doubt are there for sure. 

“Tch—it’s insulting if you think some half-assed performance like this is gonna be enough to scare me. At least have the creativity to come up with something somewhat decent–”

You stop in your tracks halfway over. Hair is peaking out from under the mask. You hadn’t seen it from afar, matted against the black shirt he was wearing—but how could you? How could you when it’s not white hair?

You flinch backward. Stumbling. Assessing the dark, silken locks a second time before looking up at the mask again—that soulless white warped skull with pitch-black bottomless eyesockets.

You take another step back. Breath hitching in your throat when the figure takes a step as well—toward you.

Your heart flares. It’s not Satoru.

Eyes peeled, you feel the panic overthrow you in an instant—like a cold rush, reaching all the way into your bonemarrow, making it hard to move, hard to do much of anything without feeling vulnerable to what it might trigger.

But once the figure pulls his hand out from behind his back, brandishing a butcher’s knife that catches the light and glints in the air—you have no other choice but to run.

What a perfect fucking day to wear fuzzy fucking socks! Fucking October cold is going to be the reason you die—stabbed to death in your own house by some cringey Scream fanboy. No—this can’t be the end—not this way! Why isn’t Satoru home yet? Why can’t he ever be where you need him to be?

You make your way through the house—hoping to reach the door, but turning the corner has you slip and fall, and the intruder’s on you—knife raised, poised prettily in the air above your helpless body, clad in your tiny heart-print pj’s—like the perfect hot airhead in any slasher spoof.

You scream and squeeze your eyes shut, “No! No—please! Please! Satoru, help!”

And right as the knife is supposed to come down and puncture your chest, making it spurt out red until you finally bleed out, dead and gone, there’s a bang instead as two palms land flat on the floor on either side of your head.

Joined by a muffled voice, “Are yah scared yet?”

With your eyes wide open again, you look up at not one mask blocking out the ceiling light but two. And with all the pure alarm savaging your chest, you manage to let out a real horror-movie squeal—unlike a sound you’ve ever made before.

And then, of all things, there’s laughter—no, not laughter—straight cackling.

And—fortunately or unfortunately—you’re quite sure you recognize that sound.

The last one pulls off his mask, and you really can’t believe it—pretty porcelain face squished in amusement with tears of joy in the corner of his insufferable blue eyes.

That fucking bitch.

“You should have seen your face!” he chortles—downright heaves. But for all his handsome features, he truly must be the ugliest laugher there is. Or maybe it’s just that the bastard always laughs at your expense, and after one too many times, it’s left a bad taste in your mouth.

Still, you sigh, eyes closed in relief, “I hate you, ‘Toru. You took it way too far, you ass.”

“No, no, Satoru, help~” he ignores you and mocks in a high-pitched moan, showing not a sign of remorse—holding his hand over his stomach as he falls to the floor, struggling to leave room for breath between hooting and howling.

Your eyes go to the original perpetrator. “And you? You proud or what?”

The wearer pulls off its mask and is revealed to be none other than Satoru’s best friend—Geto.

Honestly, you should have fucking known...

“Sorry, hehe…”

You’re upset—you make that clear with your pout, giving him your best guilt-tripping look from where you rest beneath him.

But still, within, your heart eases at the sight of his kind face and that apologetic smile across it—ever thankful to see him and not the cold-blooded murderer you were convinced was going to kill you only a moment ago—even when pinned beneath him in a position that should be making Satoru jealous.

But your boyfriend couldn’t care less, it seems—too busy rolling on the floor and laughing out loud quite literally, even banging his fist against the wood. Prick.

“I’m gonna throw up–” you say as the nerves finally settle. “And when I’m done, I’m gonna kill you. Both of you.”

Geto seems to think that’s fair, still with that sheepish smile on his face, but Satoru is quick to interject—laughing fit over as he shakes his head, “Nuh-uh. You said if I manage to scare you once this Halloween, I’d get whatever I want.”

You swear he can be such a child sometimes.

Oh, who are you kidding? He’s always a child. It’s only surprising he’s managed to rope Geto into all this—a guy who’s usually so mature.

“I don’t remember saying that…” you sigh, laying the back of your hand atop your forehead, still calming your breaths and the pounding in your head—your body not yet caught up to the fact that it’s trepidation over impending death was all just some silly joke played on you by two idiots.

You can’t believe him—you can’t believe either of them.

“Fucking shit, Geto—I thought I was gonna die.”

He still hasn’t gotten off you—the look of worry on his face tells you he’s probably just wanting to stay close to make you feel safe. You appreciate it, though it’s a little awkward lying beneath him like this—it’s not exactly a position you share with just anyone…

“Honestly, I didn’t think it would work,” he says—eyes slim like always, in that charming way. “I always thought you were smarter than to fall for something this stupid.”

You pull a frown at that—taking it all back. He’s as childish and dumb as Satoru is. He’s just better at hiding it. 

“Oh, shut up—as if you wouldn’t scream if someone chased you down with a knife,” you grumble. “Now get off, you prick.”

You begin to lift yourself onto your elbows, yet despite the clear intention of getting up, Geto doesn’t budge to make it happen.

No, instead, he leans further in—fine-kempt raven hair slipping off his shoulders, falling with the same grace as a veil.

“I was told there’d be a prize for the one that got you to crack, and seeing as I’m the one that made that happen—I want it.”

You have to blink—blanched at the sudden demand.

Satoru, as well, a little stunned—looking wide-eyed at the two of you, upside down where he lies flat on his back, long limbs stretched out like a starfish.

“You what now?” both of you ask in unison.

Geto chuckles before repeating, “My prize. I want it. It’s only fair,” as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. 

Satoru rolls over on his stomach to view you both the right way, pursing his lips in thought. “Hmm…” Hand on his chin as if it’s really something to deliberate when the dumbass very well knows what the two of you had bet on and how it very much isn’t a reward you can give to just anyone.

Yet, despite that. “Okay,” he agrees—as if it’s even up to him.

“Hold on now, wait a minute.” You intervene in the almost business-esque dealing they’d somehow held without you. "Not happening.”

“Why not?” they both ask, looking at you. 

And you can’t keep from gaping. The nerve.

Spluttering as you explain, “Because it’s—well, because it was a bet between me and my dumbass boyfriend, and it was very clear what the prize was gonna be, come winner or loser—so, sorry to break it to you, but there is no prize.”

But that doesn’t seem to deter Geto. “Oh, I think there is…” he all but purrs as he leans down further.

“Satoru already agreed. And you’re already on your back beneath me.”

His smile isn’t all so friendly anymore, and still… you can’t help but blush being caught beneath it, holding your breath with fear a little different from the one before but no different in how it makes your heart pound.

“So, if neither of you mind…" he grins slyly. "I think I’ll just take it.” 

♡ GOJO SATORU masterlist ♡ GETO SUGURU masterlist ♡ JUJUTSU KAISEN masterlist

[sleepy-steve]

pt 2 of steve "dies but doesn't stay dead" harrington and eddie "ferryman of the river styx" munson // 1.9k // pt 1 ♡

—

november 1984

Eddie checks. Of course he checks. Asks around, eventually to his superiors to make sure he wasn’t going to get in trouble for not collecting Steve. It’s uncommon, they tell him, rare, even. But not unheard of. People die briefly and come back to life. Usually only the one time. The answer should be good enough. Should be. Isn’t though. It frustrates Eddie to no end. Months of wondering and ruminating with the firm belief that he won’t get to see Harrington again anytime soon to ask.

He doesn’t have to wait long.

This time Eddie is on the boat. Leaning over the edge, a hand dangling low to the black water, staring at the same patch of grass he first saw Steve sitting. In fairness, all souls appeared in that general area. But Eddie is fixated on the exact spot Steve had shown off his deep chest wounds. It’s for this reason that Eddie jumps three feet into the air when Steve materialises in the same spot again less than a year later.

Sitting up with a rattling gasp and a look of fury on his bashed-in face—again?! Eddie briefly thinks—Steve yells, “Fucking Hargrove!”

“Christ, Harrington!” Eddie shouts, hand over his chest despite the distinct lack of heartbeat. “Could give a guy a bit of warning.”

Steve looks around, eyes surrounded by more dark bruising taking a second to focus on Eddie, chest heaving as he calms down. “Shit, sorry, man.”

They just look at each other for a few long moments, Eddie standing like a frightened cat on his still wobbling boat. He clears his throat to break the silence. “Who, uh. Who’s Hargrove?”

Scoffing, Steve drags a hand down the side of his face, then winces as it passes over bruising. “Douchebag new guy.” He sighs, settling his forearms on his knees. “His sister is friends with some kids I know. Was coming after them, so I…” Trailing off, Steve gestures to his face.

“What? Offered yourself up as a human punching bag and got yourself killed? Again?” Eddie says, trying not to sound too judgemental.

“Yeah, well,” Steve sighs. “I wasn’t just gonna let him beat up a kid. They’ve been through enough without some dickhead coming in and kicking the shit out of them.”

Eddie feels his brows pull together slightly as he sits back down on the bench of the boat, arms crossed over the edge. It’s not like Harrington was the big bully of Hawkins High, but defender of local kids is… new. “Sounds like a grade-A asshole.”

Steve snorts. “He is.”

“Kids were lucky to have you around as their… babysitter?” Eddie offers, cracking a grin.

Steve rolls his eyes, a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth. “Something like that. Probably didn’t need me at all. Stuck around long enough to see her drug him, so they should be fine.”

Humming appreciatively, a thought moves across Eddie’s mind, and he can’t help himself. “…No monsters this time?”

“Ha, ha,” Steve rolls his eyes. “Yeah, I know you don’t believe me, but the monsters did actually come back, which is why I was with those little shits in the first place.” He sounds annoyed, but there’s a fond look behind those bruised eyes. One that gives Eddie a little spark in his chest. “But no, this death was just a regular guy.”

It’s Eddie’s turn to snort. “This death. So casual.”

A full grin breaks out on Steve’s face, contrasting heavily with the bruises and the blood under his nose. “Well, when it’s happened this many times, kinda hard not to view it as like. Just this thing that happens, y’know?”

Eddie doesn’t really know. Of everything he’s learnt about death—through his own and through everyone he’s met since—this thing Steve goes through is beyond him. Incomprehensible. He nods anyway.

“How many times have you died, Harrington?”

“Hmm…” Steve looks up as he thinks for a moment. “This would be… five? Or six?” He shrugs. “I’m not sure if it happened when I was a baby.”

He says it so casually, so matter-of-fact, Eddie almost wants to double-take. It sounds so truthful, he struggles to not believe him. Even though Eddie knows he’s not losing much by believing him, a small part of him still has doubts. And worries for his job. “You gonna get in the boat this time?”

Steve snorts. “Not this time, buddy.” Something jolts in Eddie’s chest at the familiarity. “Maybe next time though.”

“Next time,” Eddie mutters under his breath, shaking his head. “You anticipate dying again?”

“Well, no,” Steve chuckles. “But based on how things have been… and apparently I’m not too careful.” He gestures at his bruised up face, eyes bright with humour between the blues and purples and reds.

“The monsters?” Eddie supplies, just teetering on the edge of sarcasm.

“Monsters, douchebag guys, car wrecks… you just never know.”

The casual tone in which Steve talks about his deaths still has Eddie reeling. It’s been well over a year and Eddie is surrounded by death constantly, and he still struggles to think about his own. Tells himself he’d rather not dwell, which is true, but it also hurts. He shakes it off, shifting his focus to the bruised and beaten boy in front of him.

“Or… you could save yourself the trouble, and get in the boat now?” Eddie gestures down at his boat with a little hand flair. He’s joking. Mostly. If Steve did have the chance to go back to the land of the living, Eddie didn’t want to take that away from him. Not that he thought Steve was getting that chance. Not completely, anyway.

“Wish I could, but I don’t make the rules.” Steve grins at him, like they’re sharing a secret. And they kind of were. Eddie wasn’t sure how many people knew about Steve’s semi-regular dances with death.

“And since when have you ever been one to stick to the rules?” Eddie asks, propping his arm up and resting his chin on his palm. Looking at the boy on the grass. His hair is longer this time.

Steve laughs, head tilted back. “Fair point. But if you want me on that boat, you’re gonna have to come over here and drag me onto it.” He raises a brow at Eddie in challenge.

Eddie rolls his eyes. “Wish I could, but I don’t make the rules.” He repeats Steve’s words back at him, mocking him.

“Well, well, well,” Steve says, tone playful. “Look who’s being a stickler for rules now.”

“I know,” Eddie drags it out, struggling to hold back his smile. “Crazy, huh? Divine punishment for being born the son of a criminal, I guess.” Eddie’s gaze drops down to the black water beneath him.

Steve scoffs at him. “Like you never smoked pot or broke speeding laws in that van of yours.” 

Eyes widening before he can stop them, Eddie’s shocked Steve even knows about the van. Shocked that Steve knows anything about him at all. What world is he in where the king of Hawkins High knows about Eddie and his beat up old van? Even being in the grade below him, Steve had a popularity pull that was noticed by those in Eddie’s grade. Confusion and surprise subsiding, Eddie finds himself leaning forward even further.

“Coming from you?” Eddie challenges back. “We all know about the famous Harrington ragers, Mister Keg King.”

The title makes Steve roll his eyes. “Never saw you at one.”

It was true. Eddie hadn’t attended any of the parties, for fear of his reputation making him a target. He drops his gaze again. “Didn’t think I’d be welcome there.”

Steve doesn’t respond, and the silence grows between them. They haven’t moved, but Eddie feels further away from him. Like the weird little familiarity they’d developed was being forcefully shoved apart. Eddie doesn’t look up to see Steve’s reaction. Doesn’t want the pity.

“So, you really can’t get out of the boat?” Steve breaks the silence with a complete topic change.

“Nope,” Eddie responds, popping the P. “She’s my new baby, now that I don’t have my van.” He pats the side of the boat with his free hand.

Steve shifts forward until he’s sitting as close as he can to the water’s edge without getting wet. Close enough for Eddie to see the broken capillaries under his skin and the little green flecks in his eyes. He takes in the cuts on Steve’s jaw and forehead, the two black eyes, the blood under his nose. The way his knuckles are bruised and bloodied to match. Something in Eddie feels oddly… protective. Like he wants to jump in front of anything that might hurt this guy he doesn’t even really know that well.

“Change your mind about getting in the boat?” Eddie asks, voice low, now that Steve is so close.

“No,” Steve huffs a laugh. “But you can’t move, so I figured I should.”

“Just that desperate to be close to me, are you?” It slips out of Eddie’s mouth before he can think about it. And Eddie wants to punch himself in the face over it.

But to his surprise, Steve doesn’t recoil away or yell at him. Instead, he laughs softly, cheeks faintly pink beneath the bruising. “What can I say? The allure of your… baby…” He says it with a smirk. “Very tempting.”

Taken aback by Steve’s… flirting is the only word to describe it, but that can’t be right, Eddie immediately switches to joke mode. He won’t entertain the idea that Steve Harrington was honest-to-god flirting with him. He won’t.

“I’ll get you into this boat one day, Harrington. Mark my words.” 

He knocks on the edge of the boat twice before smoothing his hand over the wood. Watches as Steve’s eyes follow his hand, seemingly fixated on it. Eddie briefly wonders what would happen if he touched Steve. Would that commit Steve to being stuck here? Commit him to moving on? Would Eddie even be able to feel him?

Gaze shifting back to Eddie’s face, a smile grows on Steve’s face. “Maybe. One day.” He shrugs, like his eventual death is a fun, whimsical topic.

Eddie is about to comment on Steve’s tone, but before he can, Steve’s head whips to the side, hearing something Eddie can’t. Just like last time.

Unlike last time, Steve doesn’t get up right away. “Looks like my time’s up.”

“How do you know?” Eddie is so curious, he can’t help but ask.

“I can hear—” Steve waves vaguely around his ear. “—stuff. From where I am. The kids are yelling. Hope they’re not too freaked out.”

“Guess you better get back then,” Eddie says, trying to hide his disappointment.

“Yep.” Steve pulls himself up into a standing position, now suddenly looking down at Eddie, who leans back on instinct, shifting back on the boat bench. “But I’ll see you next time.”

“I’ll be here.” Eddie gestures at the boat, palm up. Like he has anywhere else to go. “See ya, Harrington. Stay away from monsters.”

“I’ll try,” Steve laughs, walking backwards on the grass. Keeping his eyes on Eddie as he retreats.

“Try not to get that pretty face bashed in again,” Eddie calls after Steve’s already fading form, grinning wide.

Steve just laughs, the sound of it echoing even after his body disappears from Eddie’s sight.

[mapiforpresident]

For Claudia x patri x reader, can you do one where R wears a real Madrid jersey or supports real Madrid?

Disowned

Patri x reader x Pina

~~~

The evening was cozy and low-key, with Patri and Claudia sitting cross-legged on the living room floor, their eyes glued to the TV as they battled it out in FIFA. Their competitiveness with each other on full display, with Patri teasing Pina every time she missed a chance and Pina grumbling dramatically when Patri scored.

“You only win because you play as Barca,” Pina muttered, her brow furrowed as she mashed the buttons on her controller.

Patri smirked. “And you lose because you keep switching teams, amorcito. Stick with Barca and maybe you’ll win one.”

Pina huffed, her gaze sharpening as the game restarted. “I don’t need advice from someone who cheats.”

“Playing well isn’t cheating,” Patri shot back with a grin.

You watched from the hallway, holding back a laugh as you adjusted the white jersey you’d swapped with Misa after the last match against Real Madrid. The badge felt foreign on your chest, but the thought of Pina’s reaction made it worth it.

You sauntered into the room casually, hands in your sweatpants pockets. “Who’s winning?”

“Me,” Patri said confidently, her focus still on the game.

“For now,” Pina shot back, but then her eyes flicked to you—and froze.

The controller slipped from her hands onto the rug as her gaze locked on the Real Madrid crest emblazoned on your chest. Her jaw dropped, and for a moment, she looked like she couldn’t decide whether to laugh or cry.

“What. Is. That?” Pina’s voice was sharp, her Catalan accent cutting through the room.

Patri glanced over at you, her eyebrows raising in disbelief and confusion. “Amor,” she said slowly, setting her controller down. “Why are you wearing that?”

You shrugged, doing your best to keep a straight face. “It’s Misa’s jersey. We swapped after the last match, remember? Thought I’d show her some support.”

Pina blinked at you, stunned into silence, which was a very rare occurrence. Then she pointed at the door. “Out. You can’t sit here wearing that.”

You crossed your arms, smirking. “It’s just a jersey.”

“It’s not just a jersey!” Pina exclaimed, rising to her feet. “It’s Real Madrid! How could you do this to me? To us?”

Patri, clearly trying to suppress a laugh, shook her head. “You’re playing a dangerous game, amor.”

“Dangerous? I’m just wearing my friend’s jersey,” you said, feigning innocence as you gestured to the back where Misa’s name and number were printed. “See? Nothing wrong with showing some love for a childhood friend.”

“Childhood friend or not, you’re still dead to me until that thing is off your body,” Pina declared, crossing her arms and turning her back to you.

“Oh, come on,” you said, walking up behind her and resting your chin on her shoulder. “You can’t be serious.”

She shrugged you off. “I don’t speak to Madridistas.”

Patri chuckled softly but quickly masked it when Pina shot her a glare. “I’m staying out of this one,” she said, holding up her hands in surrender.

You sighed, deciding to up the ante. “Fine, if Clau’s disowning me, maybe Patri will appreciate this jersey,” you teased, moving closer to her.

“Don’t even think about it,” Patri said, standing up and taking a step back, her expression a mix of amusement and mock disapproval. “I have loyalty to this club—and my sanity.”

“Wow, you two are dramatic,” you said, grinning as you plopped down on the couch. “It’s not like I’m switching teams.”

Pina let out a long, exaggerated sigh. “I can’t believe this betrayal. Do you even love me? Us? Barca?”

You rolled your eyes, finally breaking into a laugh. “Okay, okay, I’ll change. But only if you admit I got you good.”

Your girlfriend huffed, crossing her arms tighter. “Not until I see you in an actual jersey. The one with my name on it.”

Laughing, you headed back to the bedroom, quickly swapping the white for your Barcelona jersey—the one with Pina and 9 proudly printed on the back. When you returned, Pina gave you an exaggerated once-over, her pout finally softening.

“Now you look like someone I can love again,” she said, walking up to tug at the hem of your shirt, straightening it with a satisfied nod.

You grinned, wrapping an arm around her waist. “Are you done ignoring me?”

“Maybe,” she said, pretending to think it over. “But you owe me a back massage for the emotional damage.”

Patri joined the two of you, shaking her head as she hugged you both. “You’re lucky she’s forgiving,” she teased. “If it were me, you’d still be in the doghouse.”

Pina gave her a playful nudge, but the three of you dissolved into laughter, the prank officially forgiven. For now.

[midnightshard06]

Sonic

Sonic grinned proudly. “Well Tails and me have been family for a long time now. Practically raised the kid myself heh. We’re close as you might expect. We also help keep each other in check. He, usually, keeps me from doing anything too reckless and I make sure he actually gets enough sleep and eats at least two meals a day.” He put his hands behind his head before a contemplative look came over his face. “If I have any blood related family out there I have no idea where they are. Not that I really care to find them anyway.” He put his hands down and shrugged. “Plus Shadow, and I guess Eclipse too, is in the picture now. Me and Shadow are on really good terms.” He chuckled. “Spending all that time helping him adjust to earth and doing my best to undo everything he’d been taught to think about himself helped with that. We’re… really close yeah.” A fond smile slipped onto his face for a moment before it slipped into a more cocky grin. “Eclipse is ok too. Fun to mess around with plus he makes a decent game partner when I can’t rope anyone else into it. He’s about just as competitive as me which makes it fun.”

Shadow

Shadow looked down for a moment before sighing. “Well not long after I was created I suppose I only considered Maria and perhaps Black Doom and some of the Black Arms my family. No one else at that point mattered to me. With Maria gone now though… well I find my family has expanded quite a bit. I think she would be happy to know that.” He cleared his throat. “Of course there is what is technically my biological family with Eclipse and the Black Arms. Eclipse is… a lot, but I am happy to have met him. Without his help I fear the confrontation with the Black Arms would have ended in tragedy. The Black Arms now look up to me like a leader, but I believe our relationship is positive.” He crossed his arms and scowled. “As for Black Doom… well he’s dead now so I suppose there’s not much of a point in speaking about him.” His ear twitched as his expression turned into something more neutral. “There’s also the Biolizard, which I suppose in a way could be considered my sibling as well. I… am doing my best to help them. Going back up to the Ark is hard though.”

His expression softened. “Then I suppose there’s Sonic and Tails. The two who took me in and took the time to help me.” He glanced around as if looking for something, or someone. “Sonic and I are very close. I admit I’m not sure what I would do without him at this point. His steady presence has helped me adapt much quicker I think. As well as realize some things.” He sighed. “Tails I’m far less close with but I still appreciate everything he’s done for me. I believe some of my lingering unease with the fox may be due to his connection with science. It… reminds me of the Ark. It’s something I’m working on though.”

Silver

“Oh! I’m really close with my family. Especially my parents.” Silver grinned. “I’m really grateful Sonic and Shadow decided to take me in when they found me all those years ago. It’s a little hard sometimes to get them to let me do things that might be dangerous, but I’ve been working on getting them to downplay their protective steaks for a while now.” He puffed his chest out. “Clearly it’s been working since they’ve let me start going to the past with Mephiles on a regular basis. Plus even before that they’d let me go out and scout the nearby ruins.” He tapped his chin. “There’s also uncle Eclipse. I don’t see him too often but Shadow likes to call him a bad influence on me. I think he’s fun.”

For characters!

If any of you have family, what's your family relationship like?

More character questions!!

[strnilolover]

NNN - matt sturniolo - family issues

!Warming! : this writing may contain sensitive topics for some people, including family fighting and burn out. please read with caution if family arguments or arguments in general easily trigger you.

You had slammed the cabinet door shut harder than you expected to. Your mothers words cutting your skin like a knife, your patience snapping like a taut rubber band that had been stretched too far. “I can’t believe you just said that.” you gritted, turning to her.

Your mom stood across the kitchen, arms crossed, her eyes narrowed in irritation. “I said what I said. You’re always lounging around, doing nothing, while I’m the one keeping this house together.” she spat out.

“Are you kidding me?” Your voice rose as you turned to face her, incredulous. “I vacuumed the whole house this morning, cleaned the bathroom, and scrubbed the kitchen. I’ve been running around all day trying to keep this place livable while you’ve been sitting on the couch!” your voice raised more — you were irritated and upset.

why can’t she just see how hard you work?

“And yet, the laundry is still sitting in the basket, isn’t it?” she shot back, her tone sharp and cutting. “You can’t even finish one thing properly!” her own hands slammed against the counter as her words left her lips.

Your hands balled into fists at your sides, shaking. “I can’t do everything! I’m one person! You don’t even notice the things I do unless there’s something left undone.” you could feel the tears brimming in your eyes — but you couldn’t let her see she was affecting you, you had to be strong.

“Oh, poor you,” she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “Life is so hard for you, isn’t it? You act like you’re doing me some huge favor by cleaning, but you live here too. It’s your responsibility.”

You stared at her, your chest heaving. “Do you even hear yourself? I am doing my part, and then some! You’re the one who doesn’t lift a finger but still complains that nothing’s good enough.” you choked out.

Her face twisted in anger. “Don’t you dare talk to me like that. You have no idea what I deal with every day, keeping this house running and keeping you in it!” she screamed, coming around the counter and getting closer to you,

“Keeping me in it? Are you serious right now?” you echoed, your voice trembling more with disbelief and hurt. “You act like I’m some freeloader who doesn’t contribute. I’m breaking my back trying to help you, and all you do is tear me down!” Your said. “And on top of everything, I worked a full shift this morning. What more do you want from me?”

you were trying, you really were. Did she not see that?

Her scoff was sharp, cutting through the room. “Oh, sure. You do barely the minimum and expect a medal. Maybe if you spent less time pretending to help and more time actually contributing, I wouldn’t have to ask you for money all the time!” she was almost in your face now, you could feel her breath fanning you.

You stared at her, your hands trembling with frustration as you leaned back a little. “Are you seriously throwing that in my face? Every time you ask me for money, I give it to you. Every single time. Do you even know how hard it is to keep my job and still manage everything at home?”

She shook her head. “Don’t act like you’re some kind of saint,” she snapped. “You live here. It’s your responsibility to pitch in. Or do you think you’re entitled to a free ride?”

“I do pitch in! I’m doing everything! I pay bills when you’re short, I clean up after everyone, and I still go to work to make sure I can cover my own expenses. What do you even do besides sit there and criticize me?” you snapped back, leaning forward from your leaned back position — though that might not have been the best idea.

Her nostrils flared as her eyes turned dark, and she jabbed a finger at your chest — the force digging into your skin making you wince slightly. “Don’t you dare take that tone with me. I’ve sacrificed everything for this family, and all I ask is for you to pull your weight.”

“Pull my weight?” you repeated, your body beginning to tremble more from your overwhelmed emotions. “I’ve been carrying this house on my back, and you know it! But sure, let’s pretend I’m the problem. It’s easier for you, isn’t it?” you sniffled slightly, the words barely making it past your lips and you tried to keep it together.

“You know what?” she snapped, throwing her hands up. “If you hate it here so much, then maybe you shouldn’t come back. Go find somewhere else to stay if you think you’ve got it so bad.”

Her words stung, piercing deeper than you expected. “Fine,” you said, your voice cold and steady despite the tears beginning to spill over your waterline. “I will.”

Grabbing your keys and slipping on your shoes, you muttered under your breath, “Maybe you’ll finally notice how much I actually do when I’m not here to do it anymore.”

“Don’t come crying to me when you realize how easy you have it,” she called out as you slammed the door behind you.

The cold night air hit your face, mingling with the tears that spilled over as you made your way to your car. Your hands were shaking so badly that it took three tries to get the keys into the ignition.

You barely registered the drive to Matt’s house, your mind replaying the fight over and over like a broken record. By the time you reached his front door, your tears were coming harder, the lump in your throat so heavy it hurt to swallow.

You hadn’t even raised your hand to knock when the door opened. Matt stood there in sweatpants and a hoodie, his hair tousled like he’d been lying down, but his entire demeanor shifted the moment he saw you. His brows furrowed in concern as his eyes scanned your tear-streaked face.

“Baby,” he said softly, stepping aside to let you in. “What’s wrong?”

As soon as his arms opened, you crumbled into him. The second you felt his warmth and smelled the familiar scent of his cologne — something woodsy and comforting — you broke down completely. Your hands clutched at his hoodie as your sobs wracked your body.

“Hey, hey,” he murmured, wrapping his arms around you tightly. “It’s okay. I’ve got you. Just let it out.”

He gently guided you into the living room, keeping you close as he sat down on the couch and pulled you into his lap. His large hands rubbed soothing circles on your back while his other hand cradled the back of your head.

“I-I can’t do it anymore, Matt,” you finally managed to choke out between sobs. “She doesn’t see anything I do. She doesn’t care. She just — she just keeps tearing me down.”

“Who?” he asked softly, leaning back just enough to look at you. His hand moved to cup your cheek, his thumb brushing away a stray tear. “Who’s tearing you down?”

“My mom,” you whispered, your voice breaking. “She said I don’t do anything, but I do everything. I worked this morning, cleaned the whole house, and then she asked me for money again — like she always does — and still told me I don’t pull my weight. It’s like… no matter how hard I try, it’s never enough for her.”

Matt’s jaw tightened, his eyes darkening with anger. “That’s not fair. You work so hard, and she has no right to treat you like that. I’ve seen how much you do, how much you give. You’re amazing, and if she can’t see that, then that’s on her — not you.” he said, holding you tighter to him.

You sniffled, wiping at your cheeks. “It just hurts, you know? I’ve been trying so hard to keep everything together, and she acts like I’m nothing but a burden.”

“You are not a burden,” he said firmly, tilting your chin up so you had no choice but to meet his gaze. “Do you hear me? You are not a burden. You’re one of the strongest, most selfless people I know. She doesn’t deserve you.” he stated, making sure you knew his words were true.

“But she’s my mom,” you said softly, your voice trembling. “I want to make her proud. I want her to see that I’m trying.” Matt’s expression softened, and he leaned in to rest his forehead against yours. “I know you do. But you don’t have to destroy yourself to earn someone else’s approval, especially hers. You’re enough just as you are, okay? You’re more than enough.”

You let out a shaky breath, fresh tears spilling over, but this time they weren’t just from sadness. There was something in his words, in the way he held you, that eased the tightness in your chest.

“Thank you,” you whispered. He shook his head, “You don’t have to thank me,” he said gently. “That’s what I’m here for.”

He adjusted you in his lap, tucking the blanket tighter around your shoulders before pressing a soft kiss to your temple. “Listen, you’re staying here tonight. No arguments. I’m not letting you go back there like this.” he muttered against your temple.

“I don’t want to go back,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. “Then you won’t,” he said firmly. “This is your home tonight, and for as long as you need it to be.”

You rested your head against his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. His hand rubbed slow, soothing circles on your back, and his voice was soft when he spoke again.

“You know you’re not alone, right? You’ve got me. Always.”

You sniffled once more. “I know,” you whispered. “I just… I feel so unappreciated sometimes. Like nothing I do matters.” you could feel the self doubt settling into you now — from your mothers words earlier. Were you really not doing a good enough job?

“It matters to me,” he said, his voice steady and sure. “Everything you do matters to me. I see you, and I’m so proud of you. You’re doing more than anyone should ever have to, and you’re doing it so well.”

You looked up at him, your heart clenching at the sincerity in his eyes. “You really mean that?”

He hummed, “Of course I do,” he said, a small smile tugging at his lips. “I’ll tell you as many times as you need to hear it until you believe me. You’re incredible, and anyone who can’t see that is blind.” And a soft laugh escaped you, he grinned, his thumb brushing your cheek. “There she is. There’s my girl.”

You felt your cheeks flush at the nickname, and for the first time all day, the tightness in your chest began to ease. “Do you want to talk more about it, or do you just want to relax?” he asked gently. “Relax,” you said after a moment. “I’m too tired to think anymore.”

“Good call,” he said with a smile, grabbing the remote from the coffee table. “How about something stupidly funny? Or do you want me to cook something for you first? I can make you those pancakes you like.” You shook your head, leaning into him. “Just stay with me.”

“Always,” he murmured, pulling you closer.

He put on some random comedy show, and you both sat in comfortable silence for a while. His hand never stopped tracing lazy patterns on your back, and every now and then, he’d drop a kiss to the top of your head. By the time you started to drift off, your body nestled against his, you felt a little lighter than you had in days.

© strnilolover

a/n : am i self projecting? maybe. but i’m not in that situation anymore and haven’t been for over a year. but please, if any of you are in this kind of situation, know that there is always a way out. don’t be afraid to ask for help. (i also wrote this on the bus without my glasses so i’m so sorry if some parts may not make sense)

[existential-crisis-of-the-mind]

Small Talk (Jason Todd x Reader, Pt 2 of 3)

(Pt 1)

Premise: Jason worries that you're just putting up with him out of a misguided sense of pity.

Jason seems about ready to dip into fight or flight mode. Though you’d be surprised if flight mode even exists in his dictionary, perhaps it only applies to the dangers of expressing emotions rather than actual physical threats.

“Okay…” you begin slowly, mulling over your words so as to not spook him off, “Well to start off. No, I don’t pity you”.

He only frowns at that, crossing his arms around his torso tighter in response. Alright, can’t say you were all too surprised by that. Trust doesn’t seem to come naturally to the guy.

You take a breath before looking him in the eye, “Jason, I like you. I like spending time with you. I like what we have… is that so hard to believe?”

Jason averts his gaze in response, seemingly unable to face you. “I-I don’t know” he grumbles, a frustrated exhale escaping his lips.

“I don’t know what you see in me. I guess I'd rather tear down whatever halo effect you’ve got going on right now, rather than waiting for you to realise what you're getting yourself into, and walking out at a later point”. At least the former offers him some false sense of control, he gets to strip down the facade and push you away on his terms.

“So you think I’m going to just up and leave the day I see the ‘real’ you?” you have to bite back a scoff at his reasoning, but insecurities can take any form, and the fear of abandonment always seems to be the front runner in his case.

You shake your head as you counter him, “Jason respectfully, there was no point at which I thought you were putting up a prince charming act, you’ve never really made much effort to hide your broodiness”.

In fact, you've always appreciated how he never put up a front, his frank personality being one of the first traits that drew you in.

He bristles at your comment, but you can see some of the tension leaving his body as he uncrosses his arms.

“Hey! I can turn up the charm when I want to”.

You raise an eyebrow in response, that’s a shoddy defense at best.

You decide against bringing up the time he set the fire alarm off attempting to cook spaghetti for the two of you, or that other time he picked up flowers for you only to get into a scuffle on the way home, leaving you with five broken stems (but 3 petals stubbornly clung on, so they still counted as flowers according to him). No, now’s not the time to bruise his ego.

You sigh, deciding to try a more direct approach instead.

“What’s this really about Jason? Have I said or done something to make you feel this way?”

The genuine question coupled with the gentle tone of your voice further disarms him. He huffs a breath as he looks away.

“No…I just- I don’t know why you put up with me at times”.

You could feel the weight of his words even though they were spoken under his breath. Put up with what exactly? His sudden disappearances? His injuries? The bouts of sour moods? He doesn’t even know. But he can only imagine the combination to be unpleasant.

You reach for his hand, which is currently bunched up into a fist by his side before continuing “Jason… I love what we have. I mean, I know you’ve got your bad days, but you’ve never taken them out on me...”

You take a deep breath feeling somewhat hesitant about your next words, but knowing they need to be said.

“Look, I don’t know much about your past, and frankly I don’t need to, I enjoy what we have right now… But it seems like you’ve been let down plenty of times before, and those fears are being projected onto us".

He stiffens, confronted with the truth he barely lets himself think about. Instead of facing it head on, he chooses to deflect.

“That doesn’t seem like enough of a reason for you to stick around”

He may be trying to sidetrack the conversation, but you’re done beating around the bush. You need him to know he’s enough, more than enough. That you’re happy with him and not just putting up with him for the sake of it.

“Does it bother you? That I like you just the way you are?” 

He hunches over at your words, choosing to face the muted television screen instead of you.

“Not bother… I guess it’s a bit hard to believe. I mean I know I’m quite the looker and have a wicked sense of humour” he says dryly, though you don’t miss his attempt at biting back a snicker, “But man do I come with a lot of baggage” he concludes with a self depreciating groan.

You shake your head as you scoot closer to him on the couch, “Will you give yourself some grace for once? It doesn't seem like you were dealt the best hand in life” you retort, feeling defensive on his behalf.

“You’re trying to make sense of it all, you’re trying to do what’s right. Shouldn't that count for something? Don’t discount your efforts” 

He shakes his head as he turns to face you, conflict colouring his features.

“But isn’t it exhausting to keep up with (Name)? I can’t exactly offer stability- Hell, I can’t even say trouble finds me, I actively go seek it... I mean, I don’t even know what my future’s gonna look like, let alone what our future will look like”. 

Why stay when you can go seek out something more secure, more certain?

That question remained unsaid. Maybe he was being a coward, but part of him didn’t want to probe for answers he was not ready to hear.

“Jason, I’m not going give up what we have now because of a pessimistic ‘what if’ future that may never come to be… You make me happy. You’re so good to me. I wish you could see that”.

Feelings of sadness and frustration settle within you at his incessant attempts to downplay himself. Downplay what he means to you.

You spend a moment wracking your brain, trying to conjure up the magic words that will get through to him. Considering which memories you can point to as evidence for your case, what traits of his you can highlight in your defence. But so many moments flit through your mind, warm memories playing over like a cinema reel, you don’t even know which to choose from. 

That itself is enough proof that’s there’s plenty of reason to stay right here, by his side.

Now it was just a matter of getting him to see the same.

---------------------------------------------------------

Initially thought of writing this in 2 parts but 1am big brain energy has given me enough ideas for a pt 3.

[rafaslittleboy]

older & wiser

big brother! sonny carisi x reader

summary: sonny overhears a private conversation between yourself and your older cousin mia about lack of self pleasuring tools and decides to take it upon himself to help you (ft. a dick mould that he got for his first year of college as a joke… but it comes in handy).

warnings: brother-sibling incest, use of small vibrator, clit play, reader isn’t gendered but has clit & vagina, kissing, fingering, sonny uses a very special dildo on you 😉

special thanks to the love of my literal life @noellawrites for editing this majorly for me. love you forever ❤️

Sonny nursed half of a beer can as he listened to his sisters talk, zoning in and out of their conversations. Baby talk, gossip about co-workers, talking about the ‘bad’ stuff their husbands have done (lack of washing dishes, not doing laundry—stuff the husbands should have been doing). Uninteresting conversations, to say the least. Nothing he could relate to.

His own relationship with Amanda had been… not the best. She was a piece of work and treated him like crap most days. Sonny thought being with her could settle some of his own internal thoughts, help him move on from someone that he really shouldn’t be falling for.

“Sonny, be an angel and go n’ tell ‘em both that dinner’s almost finished, you know how those two can be,” his mom told him as she pulled out a casserole from the oven, steam wafting in her face.

Sonny let out a strangled grunt as he sat up and placed his open can on the coffee table. He was getting old and any sudden movement strained his muscles—all those years running around as a detective really caught up to him now that his job is to sit down at a desk all day.

It had been a while since the whole family had come together. So many scheduling conflicts and Sonny’s hectic schedule always changing at the last minute; you never got to see your brother. Still living at home, you never got to see any of your siblings because they were far older than you—your oldest sister was in her fifties, while you were in your early twenties.

“--oh god, Mia,” your voice was heard through the cracked door, and he frowned at first but stayed behind the door to listen in. “That’s so embarrassing!”

“Oh my god,” she gasped, “is this what you use?” and a giggle followed afterwards. “It’s so small!”

Your face burned with embarrassment, “can we put it back now?” and you reached out to grab the tiny matte black vibrator but she held it back just enough that you couldn’t grab it from her hand.

“This is like… travel sized, I bring something like this with me on road trips.”

You groaned again, “please just give it back, it’s making me feel weird seeing it in the light.”

Mia finally gave in and tossed it back to you, “you should get a real one, something that can actually get you off. Like a boyfriend, to begin with,”

“Mom doesn’t want me to date yet,” Sonny hears a drawer open and close, “she says that ‘I’m her last baby and she wants me to do things right because everyone else didn’t’.”

“Like fuck?” Mia said, and he heard you groan. “Come on, it’s your life. She can’t tell you what to do.”

“I know, I know. I just… don’t want to go against her wishes.”

“You know, you could do other things with guys. When I started college, me and this guy jerked each other off—technically, that wasn’t having sex.”

Sonny frowned, he didn’t really exactly want to know about Mia’s sexual escapades and he should have really just told you both that dinner was ready–but something was stopping him. The buried, perverted part of him wanted to hear; but only for what you had to say.

Sonny knew it was weird, having these taboo feelings towards you. He tried to ignore the fact that he had watched you grow up and was still attracted to you. But with you in your twenties and single, he truthfully believed no one was good for you other than himself. That he was your soulmate.

That’s why he kept it all dead and buried. Secretly, behind all of his ADA work and previous detective work, he went against all of his own morals to harbor feelings towards his baby sibling. He was a pervert and he knew it.

“... Maybe,” you exhaled, “I just—the guy I want has a girlfriend, or is about to, anyway. I don’t just want to do something with just anyone. I want him.” Your voice trailed off into something Sonny identified as sadness.

Your reply had Sonny frowning again in thought. Who were you talking about? From the information from his sisters and mother about you, you weren’t seeing or talking to anyone. If you were to tell any of your sisters anything about your personal–personal life, you would always tell Bella. And unfortunately for you, if Sonny wanted to get any information from his little sister, she was the weakest link and would tell him with little pressure.

Who exactly were you referring to? The perverted side of him hoped it was him you liked.

After a while, Sonny decided he had been lingering long enough and was getting hungry. He stood straight and cleared his throat, opening your door.

“What’re you two doin’ up here?” as if he didn’t just listen to your whole conversation.

“Nothing,” Mia said with a stifled smile, “just… small talk,” and then she laughed and you pushed her shoulder in an attempt to get her to shut up. Your face went a few shades darker with embarrassment and you couldn’t make eye contact with him.

“Anyway, mom said dinner’s ready.” Sonny said, “‘ya better get down there before it’s all gone, ‘ya know how our sisters are.”

Mia got up first and her wide smile didn’t falter as she left, ducking under Sonny’s extended arm.

“You comin’?”

“Yeah,” you forced a smile, and half of it was genuine. You got up off your bed and followed down the stairs behind your big brother.

—

For the next few days, Sonny couldn’t keep his eyes off of you. He saw you reaching for salad dressing and thought about you using that tiny vibrator to desperately get yourself off. You needed a real cock, someone who really knew how to pleasure you. And he knew it had to be him, your own big brother, as he jerked himself off in his childhood bedroom right next to yours in the middle of the night.

–

“Sonny, hey,” you said softly as you sat up, closing the lid of your laptop and pushing it off to the side.

It was late at night, nearing midnight and you were working on an essay for school before you put it off for too long and had to write the whole paper in one night before it was due.

“Jus’ wanted to check in on you,” he said, and he walked forward and sat down on the edge of your bed. “You uh… you doin’ okay?”

“Yeah, sure, I’m okay.” you reply, “are you okay?”

“Yeah, kiddo. I, uh, I got a gift for ‘ya,” he says, giving you a little half-smile.

From behind his back, Sonny pulls out a wrapped gift, slightly smaller than a shoe box.

“Wh-what—?”

“Jus’ open it, baby,” he urges, placing it in your hands. You follow his lead, pulling the ribbon off and unwrapping the box. You look up at him briefly before opening the lid. What you see inside almost makes your heart stop.

“Dude—“ your eyes widened at the object in the box. a dildo, a really real dildo, staring back at you. it was a deep peach color that faded to a red at the tip.

“Why?”

“…Mia might’ve said somethin’ to me,” he fabricated, it was the only excuse he had, really. And it wasn’t as if you were going to go and ask her, either. “About your… uh… lack of experience.”

“Oh, god,” you put your head in your hands to avoid looking at him. “She shouldn’t have told you anything, I shouldn’t have even told her about it.”

“Gotta tell ya, I’m a little upset.” Sonny placed the toy back inside the padded box and placed it away from you both. You peeked over your fingertips to look at him. “Would’a thought you would’ve come to me ‘bout all this.”

“Well… you’re my brother, I just thought you’d… I don’t know, judge me.”

Sonny tuts, “in my line of work, kid? I’m more approachable than our sista’s.” And he’s right, because you didn’t go to your sisters or your parents–Mia only found out by pure accident and a slip of the tongue.

“I—I guess so.” you say, lowering your eyes to the ground.

When Sonny lifts up your chin with his finger, your eyes meeting his in an oddly intimate gaze.

“I wanna help ‘ya, baby.”

“I dunno, Sonny. You’re… my brother,” you sigh.

“I’ll lock tha’ door, kid. ‘Ya ain’t gotta worry, hm? Jus’ gonna be between me ‘n you.” he hums.

He doesn’t wait for your response, hands moving to your sides and shimmying down your underwear.

As much as you hated to admit it, his touches drove you crazy. He looked at you so tenderly and it made your pussy throb. You never knew that your own older brother could make you feel so sexually charged.

“How’s this feelin’, baby?” he coos, running one finger up and down your slit while his other hand rests on your tummy.

“‘S-s’ good, Sonny,” you whimper, reminding Sonny of all those sweet moments you’ve shared as siblings. And now, you were moving so far away from that.

Sonny watched as your pussy juice dripped onto your bedding, leaving a little damp spot below you.

“Where’s ‘ya lil’ toy?” he asks, glancing at your bedside table.

“Uh–um…” you blush, reaching under your pillow and pulling out the tiny toy he’d seen you and Mia looking at a few days before.

He takes it from you gently, smiling as he goes back down to your pussy. He moves the bullet to your clit and savors your reaction, hips jutting upward as he presses the ‘on’ button.

“oh—Sonnnyy,” you moan, head falling back onto your pillow. Your older brother was making you feel better than you ever had, doing the same exact thing you’d tried countless times before.

Sonny moves the bullet downwards, inching it into your entrance as you gasp and try to keep yourself quiet. He slides it in and you can feel tears escaping your eyes at the blissful feeling of being fucked.

Then, the bullet died. You raised your head just enough to let out a single sob of discomfort, your eyebrows furrowing and thighs falling even further because of said discomfort. Your hips shimmy to get any sort of feeling back on your sensitive bud.

“Hey… s’alright,” Sonny said as he placed it on your nightstand, “I can use my fingers, see?”

Within a few seconds, Sonny had one fingertip on the outside of your underwear and was circling your clit in slow strokes. He heard you sigh in relief due to the brief absence of pleasure in your little bud. His fingertip was firmer than the plastic vibrator, you could feel the difference and preferred his fingers more.

Sonny was loving it more than he expected. Pleasuring you and making you feel good awoke something in him, and he never wanted to go back in holding back his feelings for you.

He used his free hand to turn your face so he could press a soft kiss on your lips, and your mind was so clouded that you kissed him back without a second thought. You let your own hidden thoughts and feelings about your older brother take charge (like they did when you touched yourself, but this time, you didn’t feel disgusted while it happened). Sonny’s lips were soft and by god he knew how to kiss, taking charge immediately and opening your mouth to him.

Sonny swallowed your sound of disappointment when he took his fingertips off your swollen clit and then he swallowed your moan when the same fingertips slid down to your dripping slit, feeling up and down the arousal he caused.

“S’this for me?” he asked against your lips and you nodded, “fuck–yeah, you–it’s for you,” and he smiled at your response. You’re so desperate.

When he reached for the toy, you were disappointed. You didn’t know why you expected him to pull himself out and fuck you; this whole time with him was supposed to be him teaching you how to use the toy he got you.

He placed the tip against you and slid it through your folds, your wetness coating his huge head. He bit his plump lip and his eyebrows furrowed together, now he was really imagining it being his cock–you were incredibly wet and he wanted to swap places with his molded cock.

“Shh, it’s just the head, you can take it,”

Sonny began slowly fucking you with the dildo, bringing it out until only the tip was inside you, to pushing it all the way back in until it barely kissed your cervix.

“That’s it,” he cooed, “just take it, relax…”

He smoothed his palm over your tummy and sprawled out his fingers. Sonny closed his eyes and tried—and he really did try—to imagine it was him inside you, making you make those little noises, making you feel good. To imagine pushing inside you and feeling your warm and wet hole contract around him.

Technically, it was. It was him inside you, making you feel so good.

You were taking his cock, despite it being a silicone copy. You were taking it like a champ, half of it being able to fill you and he knew that if he trained you enough you would be able to take all of it. Maybe that’s another activity he can do with you.

Sonny moved so he was between your legs and your eyes were transfixed to the very hard bulge in his gray sweatpants. Your pupils dilated even more and your mouth filled with saliva, legs spreading just a little more with pure want. You felt your insides throb at the thought of him inside you and you wanted nothing more than his body weight on top of you and his hard cock thrusting inside you until he was satisfied.

Your small hand wrapped around his wrist and he looked at you with soft, yet lust-blown eyes, “can I… can I see yours?”

It was a question he never expected you to ask him. He had obviously worked you up so much that lust had clouded your mind and you asked for what you wanted.

“You sure?” His hand rubs your bare thigh, and you felt the warmth from his palm on your burning skin and all you wanted was more. Your big brother’s fingers inside you again, and your eyes were locked onto the bulge in his sweatpants and your mouth watered at the idea of doing more than seeing it—but you had decorum (what was left, anyway) and you didn’t have the confidence to ask him to put it in your mouth.

“Yeah,” your voice came out as a hoarse whisper and you watched as Sonny’s thick and long fingers went to the waistband of his sweats and pulled down just enough that his cock slipped out and bobbed at the extra room–no longer being confined–and he heard your audible gulp at your first sighting at his very real, very erect cock.

Sonny hoped you didn’t recognise the shape as he held his sex-toy-copy in his spare hand, but he watched as you tore your eyes from it and to his face; “it’s… big,” is all you said.

“Can I touch it?” You licked your bottom lip.

Without answering, Sonny took your limp wrist and placed your loose hand on his cock, your fingers curling around his thick cock and he groaned at the first contact. Your head tipped to rest on his shoulder as you familiarized yourself with his cock, fingers tightening and your fingertips just barely touching.

“I bet you get all the girls and guys,” you smile lazily, eyes half lidded as your teeth bite your bottom lip. You wanted nothing more than for that to be inside you instead.

“Ya’ jealous?” He smirks and rubs the tip of the toy against your opening, sliding it up to your clit then back down again, teasing you.

As you muffle your moan and tug on his cock, Sonny decides that he has to fuck you one way or another—and right then, he wanted to fuck you with the toy. He wanted you somewhat used to having something big inside you before he even thought about convincing you to let him guide his cock inside you and fuck you hard and soft.

“Fuck–jesus, oh my god,” your back arched slightly as he thrust the tip inside you, already pushing you to the edge. He moved his wrist slowly, working you open enough to be able to take the tip of the toy. Sonny had been playing with you for so long that he had your body hyper-sensitive and aching for an orgasm. “Sonny–it’s big–really big–”

Sonny smiled down at you and continued to softly fuck you with it. A soft squelching filled the room and his cock twitched in your loose grip, your fist squeezing down on it lightly when the tip entered you and hit against the spongy spot inside you that you could never reach on your own without an intense arm workout that ultimately failed in the end anyway.

Sonny brought his other hand down to your wet clit and used the pad of his thumb to rub small circles on it, making it impossible to hold the moan that was caught in your throat. It was louder than you thought and Sonny gave you a warning look. Too loud meant that either of you could be caught doing what you were doing and it would’ve been a horrible event to explain.

“Shh, baby… ya need’a be quiet, need’a keep ya tone down. I know m’ makin’ ya feel good.”

You nodded, letting out a really shaky sigh and closing your eyes as Sonny pleasured you. You had to bite your tongue when Sonny slid more of the toy inside you and put more pressure on your clit. “Sonny—” you whined, clenching your eyes shut.

You could feel an orgasm creeping up on you, and it felt different since it wasn’t yourself that was causing it. It was someone else, and more importantly, it was your big brother; The Big Bad ADA. It turned you on more than you’d like to admit, being fucked by a dildo by your own brother while you held his heavy, large cock in your hand and jerked him off the best you could while you were feeling so fucking good.

The pace of the dildo-fucking changed, and you felt it punching inside your wet pussy harder and just a little bit faster and god, you felt so full. You didn’t know how much you were taking of the toy, but it felt like a lot. You wanted to scream that it felt so good, but all you let out was a frustrated, muffled moan held back by your lips.

“Like that, baby? S’it feelin’ good when I fuck ya like this?” His mock-baby-voice and cooing made you feel as if you were a puddle, and you nodded in response. Your hips tried their best to thrust back on the toy, but everything you were feeling was building and building and building into something you couldn’t handle.

You nodded as he fucked you with it even harder and managed to fit at least half of it inside you, leaving a white cream every time he pulled it from inside you and a little damp patch on your blanket with just how wet you were. Your legs shook as he kept it up, his thumb on your clit rubbing hard and fast and the toy punching inside of you had you teetering on the edge and he felt it. Your fist squeezed tight around his cock.

It hit you fast and hard, a few more hard circles from his thumb onto your swollen clit had your tight walls squeezing so hard on the toy inside you, taking only seconds for him to make you cum—hard.

Your fingers squeezed down on his cock as you experienced the most intense orgasm you’ve ever had in your life, little spurts leaving your puffy pussy as he fucked the cock into you. The pressure of your fingers along with being painfully hard and turned on allowed Sonny to thrust into your hand and groan deep from his chest as he came. His hot, milky cum shot from the head of his cock and landed on your thighs, pussy and abdomen.

Sonny slumped down on an arm on top of you, breathing hard as he came down from his high and his cock jerking in your loose grip, getting the last bits of himself out and onto your hot, sweat-slicked skin. He let go of the toy inside you and let the tip stay inside you, your bottom half twitching in the aftermath.

“Christ, kid,” Sonny chuckled, wetting his dry lips. “Ya really wrung me out t’dry.”

You let out a breathy laugh along with him and kissed him, because god did you need it. Need him. In your state of mind, you didn’t care about any consequences. You loved your big brother and you were confident he definitely loved you back.

The kiss was sloppy, drool leaving the corner of your mouth as you moaned into each other. Sonny reached between you to slowly slide the toy out from inside you and used his fingers to touch your very oversensitive pussy, swallowing your gasp.

“Came real hard, didn’t ya?” He smiled against your lips, leaning his head back enough to look into your dazed eyes. You smiled and pushed his face away, “don’t get all ‘high horse’ on me, counselor.”

He kissed you again, “next time, it ain’t gonna be the toy.”

And god, you wanted nothing more than that.

[blueikeproductions]

Y’know thinking it over, I think one of the reasons TFONE failed, after looking at other comments, is it ultimately did nothing new. The marketing didn’t help, but I’ve noticed a lot of people be irritated at the modern 13 Prime concept and the more modern political bent (no longer Cold War inspired, but instead some mild identity politics and heavier ideological differences that modern audiences have notably struggled with) persisting, and this movie does little to change that.

The Bayformers films, love ‘em or hate ‘em, ultimately tried new things: The Allspark, reinventing the Prime mythology for its canon, Sentinel Prime as the best villain the series had, a group of ancient Autobot Knights that Optimus was apparently part of alongside the Dinobots, and so forth.

What did TFONE actually offer that was new?

Well.

Not much.

It was a complete retreading of the Aligned backstory we’ve been given for the past decade or so: Optimus and Megatron were former friends that overthrew a corrupt system that Megatron kept rebelling against, starting the Great War.

The same story that Prime did, that Cyberverse did, that IDW did, that Netflix WFC did, sure a few things were reshuffled but it’s the same, slagging story. TFONE even recycled Sentinel Prime as the main antagonist again, his motives not that dissimilar from his Spock adjacent counterpart.

People complain about the Great War being over done, but that’s clearly not stopping people eagerly tuning into Skybound’s version of it as of typing. General audiences, like it or not, vastly prefer the war between the Autobots and Decepticons, they don’t care about Grunkle Vegeta Megatron, his younger years as D-16 and his tumultuous friendship with Orion Pax.

The only thing new TFONE technically did was better establish Optimus and Megatron as being good friends originally. Aligned and the other series did a terrible job with this, with it ping pinging between Megatron already being power hungry and insane, he just hid it better, to him and Optimus being written as a couple who had a bad break up but can’t get over each other. TFONE still leans towards the later, not helping current situations but at least you do legitimately feel bad this time the friendship fell apart. The friendship was actually believable, that was the strength, but alas most people don’t really like the idea of Prime and Megs being friends.

It’s why I still feel the upcoming Age of Primes toy line will struggle, because once again, the 13 Primes are not a well known aspect of the lore, and modern shows haven’t done a great job at fleshing out Solus or Quintus, and stuff often falls back on Alpha Trion, a character from the old cartoon that people simply are more familiar with.

We desperately need to flesh these characters out better, we need to go back to a Vector Prime befriends the modern kids and Autobots plot for each Prime to make sense of them going forward. That’s the only way new fans will get to know them better and actually care.

As for TFONE, with current problems at Hasbro and Paramount, it’s not looking likely this story continues, but whether it inspires cartoons and comics after EarthSpark anyway we don’t know. Clearly the plan was to use TFONE as a springboard for future content, but it simply didn’t make money to justify it. If Hasbro is satisfied with it doing well on Paramount+, then maybe it evens out, but I legitimately believe the core problem has been trying to make the Aligned canon stick to most modern media when it clearly isn’t. I think we need a new approach, keep the Primes if you want, but don’t slavishly have it be the EXACT same story with them in each movie, comic or cartoon. TFONE DID modify the Prime backstory so that’s a good step, but whether they take that for future cartoons we don’t know.

[iamdeltas]

#agatha is just so interesting to me because she really can justify anything to herself but you still see in small moments like this how it#hurts her to do so but she does and then she just moves on because she /has/ to because she can't dwell on it#she'd be drown from the onslaught of all she's done if she allowed herself to falter on just one thing#she has to be decisive. she has to be callous. because she can't afford to stop or look back#i also don't think agatha truly wanted to bring jen into this either#i know some ppl are thinking she purposefully bound but i truly believe she didn't know or realize who was going to be effected by it#or even after who /had/ been effected by it. i think agatha wasn't actually lying when she said that she chose to leave jen alone#I do think it didn’t give her as much of a pause as sharon and alice did because the reasons she left jen alone hasn’t been for a century#I honestly think the easiest person for her to drag into this was Lilia and then Lilia also ends up being the first she shows kindness too#and honestly that scene was so good because I think she would have shown kindness to her either way because Agatha knows death#she knows grief and how the pain lingers and burrows into your very bones#so I think no matter what she probably would’ve had the same reaction#but I also just wonder if Lilia’s comment of ‘try to save Agatha’ effected her as well#because I think Agatha gets what Lilia’s deal is or at least has an idea. and while she did pause for a second. she played it off quickly#but I wonder if that did really hit her#because Agatha is a witch killer. she has this power that she can’t totally fully control that takes and takes and she’s never once been#thought in her life to be good or kind or anything like that (except by Nicky or Rio) and it’s clear when she was with Nicky they needed to#take from the witches to hide from death to allow Nicky to live and Agatha cannot take without killing#if the witches knew what she was/how her power worked/how Nicky survived they would be killed just like her mother’s coven tried to do#no one would be willing to risk teaching her to risk sheltering them if they knew#she knows that firsthand and anyone who knows anything about Agatha Harkness would rather see her dead#and then Lilia comes in. Lilia who read her immediately. who /knows/ who she is. she says to try to save /agatha/#I don’t think Agatha would allow herself to fully believe it (which is smart because that’s not actually what she was saying)#but god. I bet that stuck with her (via @roots-symphony)

I was going through the scene where the other witches arrived in Agatha's home. And I noticed something when Alice arrived:

Agatha actually didn't look happy.

Agatha didn't think Alice would arrive—she knew what she planned to do—and she didn't think they would open the Road. Agatha was more than okay that Alice wouldn't join but Alice still arrived.

And then when she was going to recruit Sharon, Agatha paused and closed her eyes.

I thought Agatha was just gathering strength because she was not as social as she presented. But now I realize Agatha was also trying to make peace with what she was about to do.

Agatha doesn't have regrets, but that doesn't mean they don't get to her sometimes. Also, she's had three years off from killing, and even though she doesn't remember that time fully, it was still a break from her usual.

This is why she was blasé about Sharon Davis's death, she knew one way or another she was dragging poor Sharon to her doom. This was the split second beat where Agatha makes peace with the idea that she could live with this choice.

[pintadorartist]

KOSA may return to the HOUSE

Recently, 32 state Attorney Generals have sent a letter to Mike Johnson urging him to pass KOSA. This comes after reports that Senator Blumenthal (Connecticut) says he talked to leadership, and they said they'd pass it.

While there isn't an exact date for when it will be voted on, it's still a good idea to remind your representatives to vote no on KOSA.

Call, email, and Fax these people as much as you can, since they are house leaders:

Dems:

Hakeem Jeffries

(202) 225-5936

Ayanna Pressley

(202) 225-5111

Ilhan Omar

(202) 225-4755

Jamaal Bowman

(202) 225-2464

Cori Bush 

(202) 225-2406

GOP:

Steve Scalise

(202) 225-3015

Mike Johnson

(202) 225-2777

And here are scripts to call, email, and fax; If your Representative is a Democrat use this one:

"I am urging you to VOTE NO on KOSA. Nearly 200 human rights and LGBT organizations total came out in an open letter opposing it. The ACLU is against it. Hundreds of thousands of Gen Z, who actually live online, are against it. We know the harms of social media, and we know this is not the solution. The new language does NOT meet any concerns brought up, in fact many organizations were ignored. Major news have reported that this bill actively harms kids. We do not want this. 

The rewritten bill would still allow any state attorney general, and now the FTC, to sue any website for “harmful” content. When you have Republicans calling anything LGBT “sexual exploitation” or anything about race “CRT” to successfully ban books and teachers, then they will use any justification to censor the internet. The Missouri attorney general used “mental health” successfully to ban gender-affirming care with backed up research. Suicide rates will skyrocket for marginalized youth with this bill restricting content.

Multiple experts agree this bill pushes age verification, even with the new language. KOSA hands more private data of children to third party companies. Furthermore, updated language threatens encryption the same way the Earn It Act does. How is this protecting children’s privacy?  KOSA actively harms kids. Do NOT support this bill. Thank you."

If your Representative is a Republican, use this one:

"I am urging you to VOTE NO on KOSA, the Kid’s Online Safety Act. This is a dangerous bill that will harm children and censor pro-life off the internet. Many news organizations have reported that this bill actively harms kids by exposing their private data to strangers under the guise of protecting them. We need to hold Big Tech accountable, but KOSA is not the solution.

The bill let any state attorney general and the FTC to sue any website for “harmful” content. Do we really want blue state lawyers deciding what can and can’t be allowed online? Big Tech is already censoring us. That’s why they support KOSA. This is massive government overreach. We need a bill that actually protects children by creating better security measures instead of bringing about more censorship to everyone. 

Multiple experts agree this bill pushes age verification, even with the new language. KOSA hands more private data of children to third party companies, which would put them in further danger. This also exposes everyone else. How is this protecting children’s privacy? What parent would want their child’s private data in the hands of strangers like this? KOSA is actively putting kids in danger. It censors our freedom of speech. Do NOT support this bill. Thank you."

Also call, email, and fax your Representative:

Here are some petitions and letters to sign; they both have a call tool:

[thatnonameuser]

For some time now I’ve gotten curious, how exactly do they figure out who’s a Yandere and who’s a Darling? Like how do they do that and how do they determine it. There’s also so many people that it could get hard to keep track on who’s who, Although they could use files. How do they do it? Also how do you distinguish a Yandere and a Darling? Like what are the traits?

Okay, so....... 😅

I kinda swept that one under the rug and said I would deal with that later, actually never, so I guess I have to handle that now. 

Similar to mental illness and neurodivergence, yandere and darling behavior is diagnosed based on a set of personality traits and behaviors that the testee has to see if they have traits strict to yanderes or darlings. Usually around age 5-10 or (50 to 100 for fae like Malleus) for half a year to get an understanding of their personality and behaviors.

Records are made and well documented in every country, so that every yandere, darling and neither is properly recorded. 

The tell tale signs of a yandere are -

Possessive behaviors to loved ones and possessions.

Control issues, specific to the people in their lives.

Trouble accepting death and separation. 

Willing to make great sacrifices to keep something important close to them. (breaking the law, killing someone, violating some moral code)

Jealous to things they can’t have, to the point they’re willing to steal it or hurt someone for it. 

Clingy behavior to one or multiple things in their lives, to the point they don’t ever want to part with it. 

Difficulty sharing people they care about with others. 

Following and studying objects of their affection to the point they sacrifice their other responsibilities. 

Stealing and keeping things to themselves so that no one else can have them. 

Manipulating others to not part with them.

And any other actions that describe possessive, obsessive or manipulative behavior.

For Darlings, it’s much less strict with the signs, because each darling is different. Feral, pure of heart, they’re all different. But there’s still a basis….

A darling can be diagnosed if….

They are able to share the things they like with others. 

They don’t believe in hurting others to keep the things they love to themselves.

They have a tendency to react poorly to the things that yanderes consider fine. 

While they might experience jealous or clingy behavior, it’s not to the point of drawing blood, kidnapping or stalking. 

While they might be possessive with belongings, they aren’t willing to stab someone for it. 

And some other reasons I can’t think of right now.

One massive flaw with this method is bias. The understanding that darlings are helpless and demure can cause some to be judged based on appearances. Cute kids often get misdiagnosed by opinions on what the tester thinks is darling behavior. Families might also carry this bias, and treat the yanderes like darlings because of their inherited behavior.  The inverse applies to darlings being misdiagnosed as yanderes for having violent or extremely clingy behavior. 

(This actually applies to Epel. Because of his adorable looks, he was misdiagnosed as a darling till he reached his early teens when his yandere behaviors got too apparent to ignore so he was retested and correctly diagnosed)

Another flaw (the one that lead to Neige being misdiagnosed) is that the yandere doesn’t have any connections (familial, platonic etc) to allow them to be appropriately diagnosed.

[biblical-chronicles]

A quiet shift

_______________________________________________________

where Liam starts distancing himself as his mind has led him to believe that the reader feels summat for Noel, the reader helps him to understand that he's actually the one for her.

_______________________________________________________

You’d always been caught in the middle of the Gallagher brothers. Not in a dramatic way—most of the time, anyway—but in that strange, chaotic balance they both seemed to keep. You were mates with both, though in different ways.

For months now, you’d been growing closer to Liam. There was an ease about him that felt like home—well, when he wasn’t winding you up for fun. He had this knack for making you laugh when you needed it most, for knowing exactly what to say to brighten your day. Somewhere along the way, the laughs and the banter shifted into something more, though neither of you dared to admit it.

But then, something changed.

At first, it was little things. Liam didn’t call you "love" as often, nor did he call you at random times of the day just to make you laugh. Then, when you’d pop over to see him, he’d make an excuse to stay busy, the warmth of your conversations cooling into something awkward and distant. The banter, the light-hearted insults, and that signature Liam energy—it all seemed to drain away. You’d catch him watching you sometimes, but when you’d look his way, he’d turn away like nothing happened.

You’d tried to brush it off, thinking maybe he was just having an off week. But weeks turned into over a month, and the pit in your stomach only grew heavier. It wasn’t just that you missed him; it was the way he’d gone cold without explanation. You started overthinking every interaction. Did you say something wrong? Was he annoyed at you for some reason?

One afternoon, after a particularly awkward encounter where Liam barely acknowledged you, you found yourself pacing in Noel’s kitchen while he leaned lazily against the counter, sipping on a brew.

“What’s up with you then?” Noel asked, raising a brow. “You’re wearin’ a hole in me floor, stomping about like that.”

You stopped, crossing your arms. “It’s Liam. He’s been acting... weird. Like, properly weird.”

Noel smirked, already amused. “Weird how? He finally grown a brain?”

You shot him a look, but he just shrugged.

“He’s been avoiding me,” you admitted, biting your lip. “Won’t talk like he used to. Barely even looks at me and I don’t know what I’ve done.”

Noel took another sip of tea, clearly holding back a laugh. “You? Nah, you ain’t done owt. He’s probably just bein’ his usual daft self.”

“That’s not helpful, Noel.”

“Look,” Noel said, setting down his mug, “Liam’s stupid. Like, properly thick, always has been, always will be. He probably thinks you and me have summat goin’ on.”

You blinked at him, stunned. “Me and you? That’s ridiculous, he surely doesn't”

“Yeah, I know that,” Noel said, chuckling. “But him? He sees you hangin’ round here, havin’ a laugh with me, and his brain turns to mush. He gets all shy when he’s actually feelin’ summat for someone, y’know.”

Your cheeks flushed. “He—he feels something for me you think?”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Noel muttered, rubbing his temples. “It’s so obvious it hurts. He’s just too much of a muppet to say owt.”

The pieces started falling into place, and a mix of relief and frustration flooded through you, although you were still doubtful of Noel's theory. After all reading Liam wasn't the easiest of tasks.

“Well,” you said, taking a deep breath, “I’m gonna have to talk to him either way, aren’t I?”

Noel raised a brow. “Good luck with that. R’kid’s as stubborn as a mule. But, hey, might be worth it, just don’t tell him I helped, yeah? Can’t have him thinkin’ I’m nice or owt.”

You laughed despite yourself, feeling a slight spark of hope for the first time in weeks.

The next evening, you found yourself standing outside Liam’s bedroom door, nerves rattling your chest. You’d rehearsed what to say a hundred times on the way over, but now, staring at the scuffed wood of the door, every word had fled your mind.

Still, you couldn’t back out now—not after everything. Summoning your courage, you raised your hand and knocked. A shuffling noise came from inside, and after a moment, the door creaked open.

Liam stood there, dressed in a plain T-shirt and jeans, his hair slightly disheveled. He didn’t flash that cheeky grin you’d come to expect, nor did he give his usual “Alright, love?” Instead, he just nodded slightly and stepped aside to let you in, his silence hitting you harder than any insult could.

You walked in, your eyes scanning the familiar room. The bed was unmade, a few discarded records lay scattered on the floor, and a small pile of clothes lay in the corner. Usually, the space felt warm but now, it felt muted, the weight of Liam's distance pressing down on you.

He stayed by the door, arms crossed as he leaned back against the frame, avoiding your gaze. The air between you was tense, heavy with unspoken words.

You took a deep breath, sitting on the edge of his bed. “Alright, spill it,” you said, your voice sharper than you intended. “What’s going on with you?”

“Nowt’s goin’ on,” he mumbled, not moving from his spot.

“Don’t give me that,” you snapped, frustration bubbling to the surface. “You’ve been avoiding me for weeks, Liam. You barely talk to me, you don’t even joke around anymore. It’s like I don’t even know you right now.”

He shifted uncomfortably, still not meeting your eyes. “You’re makin’ a big deal out of nothin’, love.”

“Nothin’?” you repeated, your voice rising. “You’ve practically shut me out, Liam! Do you know how much that’s messed with me head? I’ve been sitting here thinking I’ve done something wrong, that I’ve somehow fucked this up without even knowing it.”

“It’s not like that,” he said quickly, finally glancing at you. His voice defensive, his posture stiff, only fueling your frustration.

“Then what is it like?” you demanded, standing up now, unable to stay still. “Because I’m at me wit’s end, Liam. You’re the most important person in me life, and I feel like I’m losing you. Do you even care how much that’s hurt?”

Your voice cracked on the last word, and before you could stop yourself, tears started streaming down your cheeks. You hated crying—especially in front of him—but the weeks of bottled-up emotions had finally burst free.

Liam’s head shot up at the sound of your voice breaking, his defensive walls crumbling in an instant. “Oh, fuck,” he muttered under his breath, pushing off the doorframe and walking toward you. “Don’t—don’t cry, love.”

But you couldn’t stop. You sat back down on the bed, burying your face in your hands, the sobs shaking your shoulders. “It does matter, Liam,” you choked out, your voice muffled. “I’m so lost. I don’t know what’s happening, and it hurts so much to lose you.”

Liam crouched in front of you now, his hands hovering awkwardly as if he didn’t know whether he was allowed to touch you. “Hey,” he said softly, his voice uncharacteristically gentle. “C’mon now, don’t... don’t cry. Please.”

When you didn’t look up, he sighed and hesitantly placed a hand on your knee. “I’m sorry, alright? I’m sorry for bein’ a knob. Just... look at me, yeah?”

Reluctantly, you lowered your hands, your tear stained face meeting his wide, worried eyes. “Why, Liam?” you whispered. “Why have you been like this?”

He let out a heavy sigh, running a hand through his hair. “I thought... I thought you and Noel had summat goin’ on.”

You blinked at him, utterly confused. “Me and Noel?” you repeated, your voice incredulous. “What the hell gave you that idea?” You said not believing Noel's theory to actually hold true.

He shrugged, looking down at the floor. “Dunno. You’re always round his gaff, laughin’ at his shite jokes. Figured I was just gettin’ in the way.”

Your jaw dropped, and despite the raw emotions swirling in your chest, you let out a disbelieving laugh. “You’re a fucking moron, Liam.”

He flinched, misinterpreting your tone, and started to pull back. But before he could, you grabbed his hand, holding him in place. “No, listen to me,” you said firmly, your voice steady now. “You’re a moron because you could’ve just asked. Instead, you’ve been torturing me for weeks over something that doesn’t even exist.”

His brows furrowed. “So... you and him... there’s nowt going on?”

“Of course not!” you exclaimed, giving his shoulder a light shove. “Noel’s like... like an annoying older brother. And he thinks you’re a muppet, by the way, for getting this in your head.”

A flicker of his old self returned as a sheepish smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “Wouldn’t be wrong, would he?”

You rolled your eyes, but the sight of that smile sent a wave of relief washing over you. “No, he wouldn’t. But you’re me muppet, alright? And if you ever pull this shite again, I’ll knock some sense into you.”

For the first time in weeks, Liam let out a proper laugh—a warm, hearty sound that filled the room. “Fair play,” he said, his voice softer now. “I’m sorry, love. I dunno what I was thinkin’. Just got scared, I guess. Thought I’d lose you either way.”

“Well, you’re stuck with me,” you said, giving him a watery smile. “so get that through your thick skull.”

His grin widened, the mischievous glint returning to his eyes. “Stuck with me, eh? Lucky you.”

You shook your head, laughing despite yourself. “Don’t make me regret this.”

Before you could say anything else, Liam pulled you into a tight hug, his arms wrapping around you like he never wanted to let go. You melted into him, the weeks of tension and confusion finally slipping away.

As you pulled back slightly, he tilted his head, his nose brushing against yours. “Can I...?” he started, his voice uncharacteristically shy.

You didn’t let him finish. Closing the gap, you pressed your lips to his, the kiss warm and full of all the emotions you’d been holding back. When you finally broke apart, he smirked down at you.

“Knew you fancied me,” he teased, his energy back to normal.

You swatted his arm playfully. “Don’t push it, Gallagher.”

But as he leaned in for another kiss, you couldn’t help but smile. It was good to have your Liam back as a friend and summat more now.

________________________________________________________

me daft brain totally left this one sittin' in the drafts... So massive apologies to the person who asked for this a while back. But it’s here now, so I hope it was at least worth the wait. Proper sorry again, and if you wanna throw another request my way, I’ll sort ya with a priority pass xx

[xetlynn]

JJK Imagines- Yuji Itadori

Impression

Summary: reader is chubby due to her cursed technique, she doesn’t believe she’s a good fighter because of the way she looks. Always being hard on herself. She’s not used to praise or compliments.

Not requested.

[jjk] [master list]

“I can’t believe Gojo is having me train you. Megumi might be better.” I frown, not understanding how I’m certified enough to train the boy who needs to be stronger due to being Sukuna’s vessel. I’m only a grade 2, on the verge of being semi grade 1. Megumi is practically building himself to be grade 1.

 “Don’t be hard on yourself. You’re strong.” Megumi dryly says. “Yeah, [Name]-chan! He praised you when he talked to me. So that has to mean you’re amazing!” Itadori expresses our senseis supposed approval of me. 

“Brother!” A voice calls out loudly, I wince at the sound, I glance over to Megumi who does the same thing. “Todo, I told you that wasn’t me! I don’t know what took over me!” Itadori cries out, running away from the larger man who has a grin on his face. “Oh but don’t you remember when we went to the movies together, brother! Don’t say that!” Todo responds, catching up with the boy and lifting him up in the air. “That never happened!!!” 

I cover my mouth attempting to not laugh at my classmate who’s getting manhandled by an annoying brute of a guy. Unfortunately he’s still in Tokyo after the whole sister school exchange event. Where Kyoto’s principal gave his students orders to kill Itadori. 

“I’m going to go find Maki, she needs help with something.” Megumi whispers over to me, probably so Todo doesn’t see him and give him the same treatment that is being given to Itadori. “Todo, Itadori needs to do some training.” I cross my arms, the man turns his head over to me. Giving me a weird expression before ignoring me. My expression falls.

Todo’s always treated me this way, I roll my eyes. “Hey, I know you heard me, you big lug!” I Smack his arm that was holding onto Itadori. “He can do his training with me! Can’t you, brother?” Todo places the pink haired teen down but a hand is still on his shoulder so he can’t go anywhere. I see a sweat go down his forehead, he quietly pleads with me to help him. 

The big guy doesn’t enjoy my company very much after he lost against me in a fight. And for some reason he kept bringing up how I am not his type. I’m guessing it’s because I’m not skinny nor super tall for his liking. “Ah, he isn’t disagreeing!” He roars into triumphant laughter, bringing Itadori into his side. “Did you know that we have the same type? Tall girls with big butts!” Todo smiles proudly but Itadori puts his head down in shame for some reason. 

I feel my chest pang a little bit. I didn’t know Itadori had the same type actually… I sort of have been catching feelings for the boy. I don’t even know why. I can’t get myself to have a full conversation with him without panicking but he’s always been persistent in talking with me from the beginning. When we thought he was dead that’s when I kind of realized my feelings for him. Obviously it was a small thing since we hadn’t known each other long. When he showed up with Gojo sensei my heart raced. Indicating I still had that stupid crush on him. 

It didn’t matter though, I’m not his type. I don’t know if I would be anyone’s type. My cursed technique makes me… bigger than others. Having to eat more than a regular person. 

“Todo, Gojo wants [Name] to train me today. I can’t go against Sensei’s orders!” Itadori scratches the back of his head awkwardly. Todo frowns, letting him go. “I guess I can’t argue with that! We will have to hang out later!” Itadori gets smacked in the back pushing him toward me and I catch him.

“Let’s go, Itadori.” I sigh, dragging him to the training ground. “You know you can call me Yuji, right?” He responds sadly, picking up his pace so I can let him go. My hand feels cold now. “Mm, Itadori rolls off the tongue better.” I tease him, his face drops as I snicker. “Kidding, kidding!” “Okay Yuji, we should start with some stretching!” I say as we enter the training ground. I place my hands on my hips. 

“I’ll follow your lead [Name]-chan!” He gives me a closed eyed smile, my face grows hot. “R-right.” I stammer, beginning the training with stretches. I feel foolish. This idiotic crush is going to form a false narrative of my personality to him! 

I disregard looking at him when we do the stretches, only naming out what I am doing with my face avoiding his area. Normally I keep my head held high, this stuff doesn’t bother me! Why is it affecting me so harshly? He’s been back a total of three days and I act as if I’ve had a crush on him for months. He hasn’t been around for a month beforehand!

After I finish my stretches I glance up to see him still doing his last one. I stand straight, observing his body structure. The muscles appeared vividly through his workout shirt. “Am I taking too long?” He abruptly inquires, startling me out my staring.

 “Hm, why would you ask that?” I tilt my head to the side. I wasn’t rushing him, at least I hope it didn’t seem like I was. 

“You were staring, and seemed upset.” He shoots up from his spot, stretching out his arms. “Oh sorry, I was thinking.” I lie… partially. “Thinking about what?” 

“How I’m going to beat you!” I kick his legs causing him to fall to the ground with a loud grunt. “Awe, you caught me off guard!” Yuji whines, getting right back up and we get into defensive positions. He goes to hit me but I move away swiftly using my cursed energy to make me move faster. 

“That was the point!” I giggle, I attempt to punch him but he grabs my fist, swiping my feet like I did to him. Only I didn’t fall down. Surprisingly catching myself in time. “I wasn’t expecting you to fight this well!” He tells me earnestly. 

“Don’t underestimate anyone, Yuji Itadori!” I push on his pressure points in his back. Shocking him enough to get him back on the ground. “What was that?” He yells as I smirk, shrugging my shoulders. Dropping down to attack him, unfortunately he rolls away in time. Tackling me down this time. 

“What’s your technique?” He demands to know, I raise a brow. I thought he’s seen me use it before. I think back to the past few times I’ve fought. 

I guess he’s never really been around to see it… I didn’t go with him, Nobara or Megumi when they went to that building where he died from Sukuna. And in the event I was separated from him, putting up a fight against Momo and Mai with Nobara. “You’ll have to find out.” I huff out, absorbing his minimal cursed energy that he was currently using. He doesn’t use it much but it’s something for me to take. 

I shove him off of me, showing off the muscularity I now suddenly had. I already have impressive strength but absorbing others' energy only feeds it. 

Pretty much superhuman, which I’ve heard Yuji has that normally without any cursed energy. I sort of got to witness it when he sparred with Gojo for fun earlier. “You’re stronger than before.” Yuji states, I smile with a nod. 

“That’s your cursed technique? Strength?” He seems confused, he isn’t far off but it’s not the answer. I hear someone walking into the grounds. Yuji and I don’t look away from one another. It was Panda. I focus on his energy, slowly absorbing it without him realizing. 

“Your cursed energy… It grew!?” He shouts, I then attack him once again. This time it throws him backwards about 15 feet from where I stood.  

“Hey, I told you to stop doing that to me!” Panda reprimands angrily but doesn’t do anything about it. “Sorry.” I mutter, I don’t think it was loud enough for him to hear though. “You took his cursed energy?” Yuji mainly talks to himself as he gets back up. I could tell he was tired though. It was an effect on what I did. 

“Mine too?” He glances down at his hands. Yuji fully lifts himself up, running to get me. I stick my tongue out before I run out of the way. He hit the pillar I was in front of him. Knocking him straight down. 

I give back Panda and Yuji’s energy. “You okay, Itadori?” I stood above him, slightly bent over so my face was in his. His eyes open. “It’s Yuji, [Name]-chan!” He groans, taking my reached out hand to help him stand up. “Sorry!” I bite back a laugh. 

“That was so cool!” He cheers suddenly. I awkwardly thanked him, holding myself. “Does it tire you at all? How strong can you get? Actually, how many people’s cursed energy can you take before it’s too much?” He quizzes me, my face scrunches at all the questions not knowing when I can answer any of them as he continues to praise my cursed technique. My face was burning as well since I didn’t expect him to be this impressed by this. 

“It makes me hungry.” I spurt out, rubbing my stomach not soon after it growls. “Wait, really?” He asks. 

“Mhm! If I absorb too much it weakens me, making me super hungry.” I explain to him, wiping sweat off of my forehead, I turn to talk to Panda but it seems he had already left the grounds. Usually after I train he joins me to get food, knowing that I’m going to be ultra hungry after using my technique. He helps with my errands as well. My shoulders drop in disappointment. Who’s going to help me now? 

 “Let’s go get food then.” Yuji’s face gets serious. 

“Oh, it’s okay. I still have some things to do before I go get food.” I say, I didn’t want to be alone with Yuji unless we were fighting. Eating food with him… seemed too romantic for me. “I can help!” Yuji offers, I flinch, not knowing how to get out of this now. “You don’t have to, I’ll be okay.” I wave him off. Starting to walk off the grounds. 

“I’ll pay! But if you truly don’t want to go with me. I understand. We’re not true friends just yet.” He walks beside me, I mentally curse at myself for making him think that we aren’t true friends! 

“I- I want to eat with you! I just don’t want you to feel obligated to hang out with me.” I stop in my tracks to bow my head down, now feeling weirdly shameful. 

“[Name]-chan I hope I didn’t make you feel like I don’t want to hang out with you.” He bows down fully to apologize to me. “I actually asked Gojo-sensei for you to train me because I wanted to hang out with you!” He blurts out, surprising me. I take a step back. “Really?” I ask. Gojo just went up to me telling me I had to train him and I didn’t have a choice.

He peaks up while still being bowed down. “Yeah… you just seem really cool. I hope that isn’t weird.” He slowly lifts his upper body back up to look at me. 

“It’s not weird at all. Thank you, Yuji.” I wrap him in a hug. I’ve never had someone find me cool. It was new. People’s first glance at me is usually the last. I don’t impress anyone, the way I look pushes people away instead of reeling them in. Megumi and Panda were the only ones who spoke to me first. Megumi doesn’t judge quickly though. It’s something I always appreciated. 

“Of course.” Yuji hugs me back before I let go. “Let’s go get food!” I grin, taking his hand. 

+Extra+

“Why didn’t you tell me how cool, [Name]-chan is!?” Yuji shakes Megumi dramatically. “Her technique is so cool, I want to hang out with her all the time!!!” He tells the dark haired boy who just gives him a straight faced response. “Seems like you have a crush on her.” Megumi bluntly says. Yuji lets go of the boy. 

“A crush on [Name]...” He feels his heart begin to beat fast. “You call her [Name]-chan. You talk about her too much. A crush.” Megumi sighs. 

“Hm… I think I do…” Yuji pictures [Name]’s face in his mind, making him smile softly. 

[gacha-incels]

The qrts of this post makes me embarrassed to be an English pm fan

https://twitter.com/NO_TOMORROW_ARK/status/1859930835719541153

💀 tsunuls video is a cancer upon the English speaking fanbase...

it’s unbelievable like genuinely just what is there to say. I can’t even find the words anymore, this behavior is, I don’t know, cult-like at this point. this strict dedication to the wrong information provided by one video they prop up like their holy book or something. The violent language lobbed at Korean women who again and again try to explain the actual circumstances of the situation. I can’t believe it’s gotten this far.

I think the thing that is the most frustrating is seeing all these people saying “can we just stop talking about this” “can we never talk about this again” “why are we bringing this up AGAIN” etc- and I know I’ve said this before but it shows the complete lack of understanding regarding the actual issue. YOU and your best friend tsunul who sees this as “project moon drama” with a clear start and end do NOT understand what is going on. this isn’t a little internet drama thing, you post a little video, it goes away. Why do you think Korean women have been tirelessly posting, and often IN ENGLISH to get to YOU, regarding the systemic, societal, brutal and often fatal misogyny in their country? This is an issue of feminist ideological verification, an issue of ongoing misogyny- this is a woman who was fired at the behest of incels because they didn’t like that she had posted about feminism, because they thought she drew a pinched finger, and whatever other ridiculous reasons, and they got her fired due to this. The laws are NOT on her side (no surprise) and therefore she has to concede it wasn’t illegal firing. This happens to women constantly, they are targeted by incels, harassed, get fired for expressing any sort of support for women’s rights (or less- see the Renault case and others). Incels target women specifically and do this so they cannot work and make their own money. I have examples of this all over this blog. Vellmori’s case has been added to these, and the ongoing conversation surrounding them- there is no END. Speaking about this is ALWAYS RELEVANT as it is STILL HAPPENING.

in reply to that tweet by citrussalt some idiot posted the tsunul video and wrote “your move, adolf hitler”

Here’s the OP’s original tweets:

(Video link)

(Article link)

(Article link)

[marycom15]

Thinking about mary pcfc again,,, per usual. [LONG POST]

They're such a simple character but so interesting!! It makes my blood boil how much mischaracterisation i've seen seeing of them in the fandom because they're literally the easiest chara ever like HOW do you get them wrong :/// some people clearly just don't care about any characters other than their blorbos... not dropping names this time though.

The thing about Mary is that we never get to fully see them. Sure, both Mary and Mark appear quite often, and the lines between those two characters often blur, but we never quite get a full picture of them. I strongly believe that the true character of 'Mary' lies somewhere between the God and Mark persona. The distinction between them two gets stomped all over by the show, and often times the fans can’t quite tell whether the other characters see Mary or Mark in certain scenes, some going as far as to speculate that the others know both are the same person. But that's just obviously not true.

PCFC is known for its unclear distinctions between canon and non-canon episodes, most of its runtime composed of semi-canon lore where the direct events probably never took place in canon, yet the relationships and traits established through them persists. It's a curious phenomenon clearly sparked by the fact that the writers do not know shit and should all be fired. It's no wonder then that when they have a character who's split into two different personas, they often entirely forget about it and just write them as something inbetween - a compromise between their two sides. Which, funnily enough, is as close as we ever get to seeing the 'real' Mary.

For those a bit slower and Mary haters, let me explain this even more simply - and to do that, we need to get to the core of Mary's character, their defining trait in the series. Their divinity.

We actually don't know that much about it. Despite how well-established divine beings are within the PCFC universe, they're mostly more minor deities that operate under Mary's watch (like the love pantheon) or have been directly gifted power by them (like the mods). Mary themselves rarely expands upon their divine power and whenever they're seen as the God persona, they act generally distant and closed off. While they're still a kind god, they make sure to leave space between themselves and the mortals - Elo being an exception, but we'll get to them.

When it comes to the origins of their powers, we only know that they ascended rather suddenly, and presumably without much say on the matter. There's been mentions of a previous god and the 'Champion' who ruled under him, but they both presumably left, leaving Mary to clean up the chaos caused by the Lawless Time. We don't know exactly when they rose to power, but considering how clumsily they were handling their godhood at first, it's safe to assume they only gained divinity quite some time AFTER the previous rulers left, and probably rushed to try and fix the world before even fully understanding their powers.

Inexperienced and suddenly given a unimaginable power, they actually handled it all pretty well. Fuck you Mary haters and all those who think they were shit in the early episodes!! Mary haters DNI!! They just rose to power DURING a long-term crisis and they were just one guy with no guidance! But one thing's right - while they still took care to be kind, they were disconnected from the actual civilization. In my opinion, it's partly because obviously their status as a god made it harder to have casual interactions, but also partly because Mary was desperately trying to act 'godly'. Let me explain

They were obviously unsure of their power and role, doubting their own abilities, but they were still the god, protector of people - so they needed to appear strong. Partially to try and convince themselves they're not entirely unfit for the role, and partially to reassure the public. They developed this distant and rather unemotional persona, hiding their face and heart - sure, they were still a 'good and kind god', but they couldn't quite connect. Connection isn't meant for gods. It's mortal.

Quite obviously that put them under a lot of stress. They treated their relationship not as an interaction, an equal exchange, but as a chance to prove themselves to be likeable and get people to revere them. Early season, they were so focused on their role as a god, they completely forgot that they were still partially human, and had human needs. This is where, sadly, I do have to mention a certain character. Yes, I'm talking about sk*w. CW for all of the shit it does in early seasons, trust me guys i hate it just as much as the next person (or even more!!), but it's undeniably an important part of Mary's storyline.

In some ways, Skew is a folly to Mary. While Mary struggles to interact with others, Skew seems to be a natural people magnet. Mary's divinity is forced upon them, and they solemnly decide to accept this life in order to fullfill their duties, Skew ascends fully willing and eager to take up his role. Mary's a good person, and Skew is the definition of evil and problematic. But it can't be denied that he is liked by the other characters, at the very least during the first few seasons. And Mary's jealous.

At that point my poor baby has been working so hard to rebuild civilization, yet they're rarely met with any actual appreciation. The people are clearly evil :(((. And so they try to fit into society, by mimicking the way Skew acts - this is a trend that persists in all of their arcs btw, mimicking others and failing a bit. This is where the whole seemingly random part of them claiming to be evil comes from, in case you non-Mary fans didn't know. But instead of being appreciated, they get ridiculed instead - with Skew as the main perpetrator.

We all know how the evil arc goes. It’s no wonder they target Skew, really. They’ve been bottling up frustration for a long time now, simply pushing forward to do best by their beloved civilization, and when they get attacked by him for trying to fit in, Mary decides to make him.. Just like them. Kind, good and caring – and everyone *hates it*. I think that at first robo-skew represents Mary’s true values, but of course they get twisted as Mary rages on.

And this is where Elocom comes into play!!! My OTP <333 Elocom haters you’re the worst, dni I hope you get exposed and cancelled. Elo’s the only one who stands up for Mary, and they get immediately attached. She’s their most devoted follower, and they’re obsessed with her in turn. Their relationship is definitely incredibly codependent during the evil arc, but that barely lasts after it ends. Mary sees someone who offers them a bit of sympathy and immediately starts showering them with love. They were desperate for this connection, no matter how much they might’ve been denying it.

Which makes it even more tragic when Elo falls.

No matter how much ‘divine wrath’ they instilled upon the world during that arc, this is when Mary finally felt humanity again. Since the day of their ascension (which for all we know could’ve been well over a month ago!!) they’ve been living as a divine being, despite their body still being mortal. Sure, many things changed once they rose to power, but its clear that they haven’t fully transformed. There are changes, and they’re definitely the most powerful of the divine characters we know, but their power level is still oddly close to the lower deities considering their status as Parkour God.

They aren’t fully divine, which isn’t actually something we get much info on, though many visual clues point towards their distaste of fully embracing godhood and god boots being the reason for this. I am absolutely insane about the fact that the writers refuse to elaborate on Mary’s divinity because there’s !! So much we don’t know. I really hope this gets expanded on in the reboot ;(

When Elo falls, Mary doesn’t visit. They lose that one piece of humanity they had, but this time, they’ve tasted enough to realise their yearning for it. And so, the Mark persona is born. It says a lot that we basically know nothing about their life as a pro, and says even more that they themselves barely seem to remember it. Not in a typical way, they do recall people and events, but they fully cannot piece back together the person they used to be. A few of the background characters remark on how Mark has changed, but chuck it up to the chaos of the godless era. They no longer know who they were – in a way, they’re rediscovering themselves in this new role of God alongside the viewers, who have a similar level of knowledge about pre-godhood Mark. Which is pretty much zero.

So, who does Mark end up being? An exaggerated idea of humanity. They’re odd, a bit off-putting, but generally seen as just a bit of a funky and harmless weirdo. Mark tries so hard to blend in by simply repeating the things he’s noticed others like – but by looking solely at the moments which get most attention and laughs, he completely misses the mundane aspects of being mortal. In a way, Mark’s an amazing human disguise when it comes to their odd bits of personality, but they lack the casual and mundane parts, which makes them feel odd and unnatural to others. They’ve forgotten what it’s like to be human, and their notes are faulty.

With both the Mary and Mark side of this character established, it’s time to repeat my point – neither of them are the true Mary. The truth lies somewhere inbetween. ‘Mary’ is them desperately trying to be a god, and ‘Mark’ is them desperately trying to be a human. Their whole issue stems from not being able to fully embrace godhood, being stuck between two worlds with no real place to be. Maybe that’s why there are so many new deities and other divine-esque beings. Maybe Mary’s just observing them, hoping to find a way to exist without fully detaching themselves from their humanity.

To summarize, we know exactly as much about Mary as they do – which is not much. I see many ways for their story to go. They could embrace divinity and gain a higher level of power, or they could do the opposite and forfeit godhood in the name of humanity. Maybe they manage to find a way to exist in this odd space between two worlds they’ve found themselves in. Maybe something completely different will happen. The longer the series goes on, the more the lines between Mary and Mark blur, which makes me believe that it’s building up to some sort of big moment – especially if you remember that no matter how blurred the lines are for us, the characters still act as if Mary and Mark were separate people during the important scenes.

There’s still a lot to be explored about them, and I hope the writers don’t butcher my beloved babygirl :((((( they don’t deserve it!! Skew traumatized them so bad. I hope Elocom is endgame and Skewlocom burns in superhell <3 Also I literally can't stand the people who say they don't "get" Mary like bitch be for real with me!! Their character is literally so easy to understand its sooo annoying like wdym they're complicated. They're literally just stuck between two worlds. That's so simple it's got the number 2 in it, which is a low number. Which means its not complicated. Idiots.

[ladyintree]

her eyes narrow in on her,   offended that she’s speaking like that isn’t something on tai’s mind.  it always is,   because she hates that mikayla didn’t get the life she deserved—  free of her father but more than that,  too.   not what actually happened to her.   she wants to ask if she was supposed to stay with her out of some obligation—   but she has enough restraint not to go there,  not when it doesn’t feel accurate.   she loved mikayla,   she loved her more than anything even when they did break up,   but it’s because she loved her that she felt like they couldn’t go on like they were.  she always thought that someday,  there would be a chance for them again — when they were both in the right place — but that never happened.  she didn’t realize then that saying goodbye was final for her.  ❝  that was not my response to … that,  ❞   she mutters in frustration,   quickly glancing to their surroundings,  then back to her.   ❝  i wanted to be there for you, ❞   she reminds her, like it’s simple to her.  ❝  i wanted to be the person you could still come to when you needed to talk, but—  but that wasn’t enough for you, ❞   she reminds,  letting out a scoff.   her eyes close when mikayla admits to never reading them;  part of her always expected that,  because surely,  something would’ve caught her attention,  but it still hurts.  taissa was still trying.   ❝  that’s not what i was doing.  what the fuck?  i cared about you,  ❞    she says,  voice slightly louder now,  growing with frustration.  

 it’s starting to feel embarrassing, the way mikayla throws that in her face.  it does feel like it’s spiting her—  but she didn’t necessarily believe mikayla would do that on purpose.  this is just her own insecurities getting the best of her,   a blatant reminder of how much she’s failed,  despite giving up on the love of her life to try to make something of herself.  ❝  excuse me if i don’t want you to do something you hate, ❞    she argues with a scoff.  ❝  i know it’s not about me.   you’ve made it clear you don't think about me at all,  ❞    she points out, rolling her eyes at the thought,  because even the worst company from the wilderness,  those still alive to run into at any moment,  tai still thinks about them,  so she can’t fathom why it's so easy for mikayla to have let go of her— her wife.  she holds her hands up as she shakes her head.   ❝  no.  good for you, mikayla.  ❞   her words come off condescending,  but she doesn't actually mean it that way.  she's is happy for her, despite it all.  ❝  if you're happy—  good for you.  that's all i wanted.  ❞    she just couldn't have the weight of it all on her own shoulders;  it felt consuming,  like it was going to suffocate her trying to be everything mikayla needed in there.  leaving entirely might not have been the best option,  but it felt like the only one back then.     

her jaw clenches, and mikayla doesn’t have to finish her sentence for taissa to know what she’s suggesting.  but even now, as angry as she’s been with taissa, and even given how estranged they feel—   she still thinks she would do anything for her.  taissa knows she’s alive because of what mikayla did for her out there,  not just physically,  but mentally.   she believes the same is true for her, too—  but mikayla keeps suggesting she’s wrong.   ❝  she—  i didn’t give up on you,  ❞  she corrects.   ❝  maybe you just never understood me.  ❞   but taissa doesn’t believe that, either.   she thinks mikayla would’ve understood her better than she understood herself.  her eyes narrow in on her and she shakes her head.   ❝  maybe if you listened to anything i said that day,  or let me finish,  or —  read my fucking letters —  you’d know the truth.   but i guess you like your story better,  where i’m just the bad guy.  ❞

taissa rolls her eyes,  because mikayla doesn’t need to defend herself for that—  she’s already made it clear she doesn’t care about taissa.  ❝  didn’t say you did,  ❞    she mutters,  taking a deep breath and forcing herself to stand taller,  trying to pull herself together again.   ❝  seems like you’ve been sitting on that one for a while, though,  ❞   she says, nodding back to her,  wondering just how long she’s been antsy to call taissa out on it.   her jaw clenches when mikayla goes on,  because that’s not what she thinks.  it’s never been what she thought,  even when so many people did assume the worst of her before things got bad.  taissa always saw more in mikayla.  she’s also never been loved by anyone the way she was loved by mikayla—-   which is exactly why it’s so difficult for her to comprehend mikayla wanting absolutely nothing to do with her now,  because how did she just turn that off?  ❝  i don’t think you're heartless,  mikayla.   you know that,  ❞   she reminds, her eyes narrowing in on her.   ❝  there’s a difference between being heartless and being so willing to give up on people when things didn’t go your way,  ❞    she adds, ignoring the fact that that’s basically exactly what she did to her first.  

after everything has mikayla on the verge of snapping the way she promised asher she wouldn't. her jaw clenches tightly, teeth grinding together as she takes a slow, deep breath, holding back the rant that's going on in her mind— how it was taissa who gave up on them after everything, who decided that what they had meant nothing out here, like it was just something to get them by in the wilderness, something they no longer had any use for anymore. “ i just killed my dad, tai, ” she reminds her calmly, because it feels like tai's forgotten. “ i almost died. and your response was to— to fucking dump me. so yeah, i cut you out of my life. but you're the one who decided you didn't give a fuck first. ” maybe tai never said that specifically, but it felt that way. “ i didn't read them, ” she admits, keeping her voice flat. “ wasn't really in the mood to hear you try to make yourself look better. sorry doesn't really erase what you did. ” it killed her, not knowing what those letters said, throwing them out before the temptation could get to be too much, but she figured it was what was best for herself— and since it was clear that tai didn't care about what was best for mikayla, she had to focus on that instead, even if it meant ignoring the only woman she'd ever loved.

she looks away, annoyed, because she doesn't think she could ever get tai to understand, not when she got to grow up with parents who supported her, while mikayla only had a man who put her down, who used every opportunity to make her feel like nothing. “ i just fucking told you why. it's not my fault it's not what you want to hear. because you'd rather hear me tell you it's to spite you, right? that it's about you, not him? ” she lets out a cold laugh, her head tilting slightly. “ well, i'm fucking sorry, but not everything has to do with you. ” it doesn't feel like tai knows her, because playing out of spite is something mikayla would have always done— especially now, when most of her choices have been stripped away from her, forcing her to turn back to soccer, because it's one of the few things she's ever actually been good at, whether she liked it or not. “ i'm not miserable, ” she lies, but she's trying to believe her own words more than anything. “ it sounds like you're just pissed off that i'm doing fine without you. ” she's not, but she's learned to accept that, telling herself that happiness no longer mattered, that it wasn't even something she wanted anymore, because she can't stand the thought of losing it again.

mikayla doesn't want to have this conversation at all, but her pride won't let her walk away. she can handle the pain, she thinks, because it's all she's ever felt anyway, but that doesn't mean she enjoys it. “ i was in love with the person i was with out there, ” she clarifies. “ you know— the girl i married. the one i would've— ” killed for, died for, done anything for, but she stops herself before she could go there, feeling like she shouldn't have to. “ but you're not her, taissa. and maybe i was just wrong about you, and you never actually were the person i thought you were, but— the girl i loved wouldn't have fucking given up on me just because it was hard. she would have tried. so i don't know who the fuck visited me that day in prison, but— that wasn't her. ” that's what she's told herself the last few years in her determination to move on— because it was easier to separate tai into two different versions: the one she loved, and the one who hurt her, because that made it easier to come to terms with the fact she lost her.

her jaw clenches again, realizing she fucked up, but it's easy to brush it off like it doesn't mean anything, her shoulders lifting in a small shrug. “ nat, obviously. but trust me— i never fucking asked. ” that's not entirely true, either; there's been a few times when mikayla has, telling herself that it's just because they went through something horrible together, so of course she's curious, never stopping to consider the fact that she can't say the same about some of the other survivors. her head falls back in annoyance when tai, again, accuses her of not giving a shit, because it's not true, and she's sick of hearing it. “ okay, yeah, you got me. i didn't give a shit, ” she agrees sarcastically, because arguing against it seems pointless when tai won't listen. “ nice to know you think i'm as heartless as everyone else does. ”