#still a bunch of fun and there were a lot of improvements as well

[magentagalaxies]

going to a comedy open mic tomorrow mostly to watch my friends (it's at a cool venue that my improv troupe performs at once a month and a few improv troupe friends are doing standup there) but when these friends were asking if i'd be interested in coming they were like "btw there's usually a ton of open spots on show days if YOU want to do something... and they're not strict about it only being standup either, people have done character pieces and sketches etc like they embrace the weirdness... and they're not strict about time limits you could probably do anything between three and eight minutes... sometimes if there's not enough people signed up they'll even let you go twice..." and i'm like god damn it i thought i was gonna take a break from aubrey but this setup is like tailor made for an aubrey appearance lmao

[letorip]

i heard your name [ii]

“i want you so, i can hardly let you go, please be mine for a time, now and forever”

===+++===

pairing: cairo sweet x reader

summary: after several weeks of trying to run in the opposite direction, you find you can no longer evade the magnetic pull yanking you towards her

warnings: explicit but gender neutral sexual content, being used both physically and emotionally, 'lover boy' is used ironic and is still considered gender neutral, implied teacher-student relationships

word count: 6.4k

A/N: definitely making another already because it’s kind of getting juicy. again inspired by pale fire and hot summer nights.

===+++===

You had always heard that people looked like their pets, but it had never occurred to you that someone could look like their house. Standing in front of Lovell Hill, it was impossible anyone else but Cairo Sweet lived there.

The building stood tall, with white towering ionic columns that reached to hold up the dark clay tile roofing like soft angelic hands lifted to the sky. Everything about the house was big, with a giant, wide cedar porch and a towering balcony that looked out over the small garden in front of its door.

You had figured Cairo was well off from her clothes and general overabundance of education, but this screamed a wealth so extreme it almost wasn’t computing in your brain. Not with your own tawdry house that had only been built two years ago and was about the size of Cairo’s home if you sliced it by a quarter.

You had seen homes like these in movies or on the home improvement channels. Most motels had the home improvement channels on the TV, and you had watched with a sense of awe, sitting on the mouldy carpet late at night with your mom asleep behind you, looking at the muted tours of the homes with a private envy.

Such grandeur was incomprehensible and didn’t exist beyond the screen and TV magic. Or, that’s what you thought until you stood at the end of her garden, with all its greenery and a few lines of flowers, looking up at the front door.

It was quite the dilemma, to knock or not to knock. You could turn around right now, save yourself a whole bunch of sleepless nights and half a brain if you just told her you felt sick and had to cancel. She’d be annoyed, sure, but maybe Cairo being angry was better than Cairo being hungry.

You weren’t all too sure you wouldn’t try to satiate her hunger, and that was a dangerous game to play. Since she had sat down beside you in class, fleeting had been slowly drifting away, and you found yourself clutching onto what little of it you had left, rebuking the witchcraft that seemed to tug you to her.

You were about to do that, walk away, but then the door to the balcony swung open, and out Cairo came, leaning over the railing with a smile, and you felt your own heart clutch to your ribs. She propped her head up on her palm, peering down at you.

“Are you coming in?” She asked, laughing. “You’ve been standing there for ten minutes.”

“I’m just looking. At the landscaping,” you called up to her, and it was mostly true, though Cairo laughed like you were being funny. You felt a blush rising to your cheeks. Fleeting, you idiot.

“It’s my parents’ house. I know it’s a bit much,” said Cairo, standing up straighter.

“A bit?” you said, the sarcasm worming its way into your voice. It was a lot much.

“Yeah,” she replied, smiling at you again all bright. “A bit.” You smiled back, holding a hand up to cover your eyes so you could continue to stare at her on the balcony in the sun, like your own Juliet.

“Can I come inside?” You asked, taking a few steps forward into the shadow the roof of her house casted over the ground. Cairo seemed to find a playfulness with the question, and you were left there like a moron, wondering why she was laughing again.

“No, actually,” she said. “I invited you here to make you walk over here and then walk home.”

“Did you."

“I did,” she nodded, having fun. “I’ll be down in a minute when I’m done with something; the front door is unlocked."

"That seems unsafe," you said.

She raised her eyebrows at you. "Why, are you worried for my safety?"

You shrugged, deciding neutrality was the best policy. There wasn't anything wrong with saying you were worried about her as a friend, but you knew she would draw some strange entendre. "I would worry about random people wandering in, to be honest."

Cairo shook her head. "Not here in Tennessee. Now go inside. The longer you stall me the longer it takes me to finish what I'm doing." With that, she disappeared back inside, leaving you on her porch. You swallowed the lump in your throat and went inside.

Cairo Sweet's house was much like her soul, in grandeur and in wealth. Even in the foyer, which was where you found yourself, the walls seemed to reach up much like the pillars, raised towards the covered sky. A grand staircase led up to the second floor, and with the soft closing of the door behind you, Cairo called out from up the stairs.

"You can go into the kitchen, I left some wine out on the counter."

You blinked. "Wine?" You said back, making sure you were hearing correctly. Cairo's laugh floated down from the second floor.

"Yes, 'wine.'" You had never had anything like wine before, though the way she threw it out so casually made you think she was no stranger to the concept.

The kitchen was the room right off to the left of the foyer, with a large bay window and some checkered ceramic tiling on the floor. In the centre sat an old gas range stove, a similar shade of green as the walls. The brass handle curved down to the drawer on the bottom, and it looked like a droll little mouth underneath the knobs.

On the white marbled countertop that boxed the stove in was a set of two glasses and a bottle of reddish wine that was three quarters full. The entire room was immaculately clean, with the perfectly angled chairs sitting around the nook table in the corner and the utterly spotless surfaces, both floor and table.

It looked just like those staged houses on the home improvement channels, and you wandered over to peer into the glass hutch, which was piled up with books in stacks around it. The top cabinet held an array of glassware, some of them gathering dust. They were pretty, and you leaned in to the ceramic ones with antique designs etched into the sides. You wanted to own dishes like those, someday.

"The plates are pretty, aren't they? It’s a real shame about the led.” You spun around to find Cairo behind you. Your heart immediately started doing a backflip in your chest. Cairo was no longer in the soft shirt and shorts she had been wearing on her balcony— no. Instead, she was now in a silky cream-coloured dress, one that clung to the curves of her body and hung elegantly from her shoulders in a way that made the tips of your ears warm.

She walked right up to you as if there was no difference, staring at the plate you had been looking at with what couldn't possibly be a genuine curiosity. Up close it was clear she had put on some makeup, her lips glossy and pink and her eyes dark. She had to know she was playing you like a fiddle.

You watched her in laser focus as she nodded at the plate. "My parents bought that one from a village in the Swiss Alps."

"What?" you mumbled, clever as always.

"The plate," she said, like it was obvious. "Most of the plates in there are from Switzerland or China."

"Oh...cool."

Cairo brushed past it, gesturing back to the bottle that sat on the counter. "Would you like some?" she asked, clasping her hands behind her back.

"But what would your parents say?" you asked. Mostly you were looking for any excuse not to, but you were also filled with curiosity. Cairo Sweet hadn't just fallen out of a coconut tree— she was the product of whatever her parents were like and you desired to put two and two together, and for that to make it make sense.

"They're not here right now," she replied, walking right over to the bottle and pulling the cork straight out. You swallowed but followed her over, and Cairo grabbed a glass to pour it into.

"So you live here?" It was a genuine question, and part of you was still struggling to understand that this was just someone's everyday lifestyle. Cairo nodded.

"That's what Winnie asked me too, when she first saw it. People say my house is haunted."

"They do?"

"Yeah," she said. "Lovell Hill. It's famous, or at least around here it is."

"Well... is it true?"

Cairo shook her head. "Sorry to disappoint. Only thing that lives here is me."

"And your parents?"

Her mouth thinned into a line at the question, but she spoke quickly. "Yes, them too." Then Cairo held up a glass. "Would you like some?"

"Uh, no thanks. We should probably start on the assignment...," you trailed off. Cairo was staring you down with a certain glint in her eye. “What?”

"You've never drank before," she said. It wasn't a question, and you could feel heat going back to your face. To any other person, you'd have no problem saying no, but to her you felt your breath catch in your throat.

"Uh, I have, I just don't want any right now," you lied. And Cairo knew you were lying, judging from the smile she watched you with. But she only shrugged.

"You can have some of mine later, then," she said, straightening up and walking out of the kitchen. You followed her like a proper guest, like she was a tour guide helping you through the jungle. You warily tailed her out of there and up the stairs.

On the landing there were even more books, in large, towering stacks near the railing, ended on each side by potted plants and small floor decorations. You stopped, taking a thick paperback from off the top of one stack and turning it over to read the back. “Have you really read all of these?” You asked. Cairo turned.

“Not all of them, no. Most of them belong to my parents, so they’re cheesy spy thrillers and soapy romances.”

You nodded. “My mom reads those ones too.”

“Anyways, what do you read?” Cairo asked, walking over to you and taking the book from your hands to look at it herself. You shrugged.

“For a while there, anything I could get my hands on.”

She tilted her head. "What do you mean?"

"Uh, just that my mother didn't take me to bookstores a lot," you said, having gotten comfortable with lying. In reality, you had mostly read travel books and magazines from gas stations, since those were really the only places you and your mother stopped often. You didn't start actually reading book-books until you were about ten, and your mom bought you a kindle for your birthday.

But giving Cairo the truth would mean telling her you were on the road a lot, which would mean telling her about why it was you moved so often, which would mean telling her you would probably be leaving soon, so you lied. It was typically a better idea to vanish without warning one day, off to another state like you had been one giant bad dream.

"Mm," she hummed it agreement, putting the book back down and leading the way into a door that stood at the far end of the hall. "My parents didn't either, when they realised I bought like ten or twelve at a time," she said, tugging you into her bedroom.

It was exactly like you could have imagined it, with a darker shade of green and ebony wainscoting that matched the grand bed in the middle of the room with fluffy, lush bedding and a near mountain of pillows in the centre.

"Well then," Cairo drawled. "Shall we?"

The smirk she was staring at you with sent a shiver down your spine. You gave her a cautious nod and pulled your backpack off of your back.

===+++===

You had your paper almost completely done within an hour of laying down on Cairo's bed to write it, though in the corner where Cairo sat typing hers, she seemed incredibly frustrated. You had only been observing her a little, watching her type what could've maybe been a few words and then immediately holding down the delete key until they were all gone.

You understood to a certain extent— windows were so unbelievably symbolic it was possible to go in millions of directions when writing your story. But you were almost done, and inspiration had hit you from the moment you knew what your symbol was meant to be.

You put the final finishing sentences in where they were meant to go, and put down your pen, sitting up to crack your fingers and stretch your back. Cairo looked up at you, eyes glaring.

"You're finished?" Her tone was sharp, and you looked around the room in surprise.

"Yeah?" You replied. Cairo narrowed her eyes at you.

"How," she demanded sitting up in her chair and slamming her laptop shut.

You shrugged. "I don't know, I kind of rushed it anyhow."

"Let me read it, (Y/n)," Cairo said, holding her hand out. You leaned forwards and tossed the paper to her, rolling over onto your back to stare up at the ceiling while she read it. She had one of those popcorn roofs, with bumps all over it, and you found yourself tracing a little path in your mind.

"This is..." she said after a few minutes. You turned your head to look at her sideways. "This is really good," said Cairo, but in a way that made your eyebrows furrow.

"Why'd you say it like that?" you asked, sitting up from where you had been laying.

"Like what?" She asked standing up from her chair and walking towards you, to lean on one of the bedposts. You swallowed.

"I... don't know," you muttered.

"Hm," she hummed. "I have a question."

"Yeah?"

"The astronaut. The one who goes crazy in outer space from looking out the window on his solo mission. Is that supposed to be you?"

"Oh. No, he isn't. He's just a character I thought of," you shook your head. Cairo raised an eyebrow at you.

"But he is a lot like you, isn't he? Alone, I mean. That's why you lied to Winnie about lunch." She got you with that line. You stared at her, frowning. Your mind screamed LIE over and over, but you knew there was no point. Not when she was reading you like a book. She took another step towards you, until she was standing in between your legs where you sat. You hadn't realised there was any connection with the astronaut when you thought of him, but maybe he was?

"Are you lonely, (Y/n)?"

"No? I mean, I don't think I am." It came out in a whisper; you didn't need to speak loudly when Cairo was so close. You could feel her hot breath on your cheeks like a fan.

"I've been thinking of you, since you arrived," Cairo murmured. Her fingers crawled up your knee slowly, the pads of her fingers brushing the hem of your shorts. She looked down at the small space between you.

"Yeah?" You asked.

"You're captivating," she said. "It's annoying. Shrouded in mystery and answering to no one."

"Yeah?" Pink was flushing towards your cheeks.

She smiled, looking up at your face again. "Yeah. It would be less distracting if you didn't come with such nice eyes."

You swallowed. It felt like everywhere her fingers went she left behind a trail of pure fire, churning up your insides. Your mind was screaming at you to not be an idiot. You'd probably regret this in a month or two when your mom told you you would be leaving again. Stop, right now and save yourself so much sleep, you idiot. That would've been the smart thing to do.

Her hands came up slowly, skimming gently up your neck until they landed at the nape, and you were reminded of the lollipop she had plucked from your lips to place in her own for a moment.

"Cairo, what're we doing?" you managed. Cairo shrugged.

"You ask me that but I'm not entirely sure. I just know it feels nice," she whispered to you. "So shut up and let me feel nice," she said with a smile.

Within an instant, her lips pressed hard into your own. You pulled your head back in surprise but Cairo's soft palms held you firmly where you sat, and you found yourself melting at the feeling. It was messy and it wasn't graceful, but it spoke of the passion that bubbled under Cairo's removed exterior. She started to move against you then, and you against her.

You found yourself entranced at the sensation, and pulled away just to get a look at her face. She was breathing heavily, lips red and eyes wild, and you only came back wanting more, reconnecting the both of you, your hands moving to her waist and then up her back.

"Cairo..." you mumbled, her lips moving to your jaw and then hastily to your ear.

"Mm," she hummed.

"Cairo, I can't," you managed, trying to pull away but finding her still on you. Your mind was yelling at you horrible, horrible things, not only about yourself but about what you wanted to do to her.

"Mm," she sounded again, moving down your neck in a way that left you tingly.

"Really, I just—"

"Take my hands off of you, then," she challenged, in between peppering kisses and sucking on a spot directly over your pulse. You shivered.

"I can't."

"Well, I guess we're at a crossroads," she said. Her right hand slid down your chest to the hem of your shirt, sliding gently underneath and laying itself flat against your stomach. She smirked when she reconnected your lips, knowing she was winning.

"This is a really bad idea."

"You talk too much."

"No, because this is really a conflict of interest. We're supposed to uh..." you stammered, getting distracted by he hand on your stomach slowly getting lower and lower, creeping towards the top of your shorts. "We're supposed read each other's stuff and be honest."

Cairo stopped, pulling away, raising her eyebrows at you. "Are you serious? You don't want to have sex with me —when you've been practically eye-fucking me since we met— so that you can be an honest peer grader???"

"Well, when you say it like that, it sounds stupid."

"That's because it is stupid."

"I— I just can't do that with someone."

She scoffed. "Are you waiting until marriage or something?"

"No."

"Are you asexual?"

"No."

"Is it Winnie?"

"No."

"Do you like boys?"

"No!"

"Then why? I mean, come on. We both knew this would end one of two ways."

"We're better off as just classmates, trust me."

Cairo blinked at you for a moment, like you were the most confusing person she had ever met. Then she got up off of you. Your lap felt lighter, but also emptier, and you wanted to scream up at the stars for not being able to just indulge this one little desire.

"Fine," she said, and her tone caught you off guard. Most people would probably be upset or angry, but it just seemed like Cairo was challenged and endeared. Like she was going to work out your problem and get right back to this situation, only this time she'd get exactly as she wanted.

She wouldn't, you promised yourself. Never ever. The heartbreak wasn't worth it. Cairo checked her watch. "Could you come over tomorrow too? I'm not done with my story yet, and I want you to read it."

"Uh," you thought out loud. You didn't see why not. Maybe you wouldn't be lovers, but just innocent friends? You weren't so much a monster that you wouldn't be able to stop yourself if you hung out with her. Innocent friends were much easier to forget anyways. "Sure," you said, unknowingly giving her exactly what she wanted.

===+++===

You had gone to her house almost every night for the past week, laying on her bed while she sat in the corner in the same familiar chair, typing the same bloody story that she refused to be satisfied with. It was becoming a pattern, even an unconscious one. The next day had been entirely as awkward as expected, with you trying to act as unbothered as possible.

The friendship was going better than you had anticipated, and you were very pleased with your own self restraint. Winnie had come over too, once or twice, and you enjoyed existing within the context but still on the periphery of a friendship.

Cairo Sweet would hunt you down as her friend or as her whatever-you-were, so you figured giving into one would be the path of least resistance anyhow.

She must have been an insanely picky writer. She wrote every word with an overabundant caution, like she was trying so hard to craft perfection. It was like she wanted her keyboard to drip liquid gold onto the page, and the critics to all collectively clap when she finished a sentence.

"You're like George R. R. Martin with how slow you finish a story," you had said once, out of the blue. Cairo looked up at you, offended, and thrown a pillow in your direction that connected with your face.

"I'm trying to cultivate perfection of the written word," she said, and you rolled your eyes.

"God, writers are so pretentious," you wrinkled your nose. "The only people who like to read annoying writers' books are annoying people."

Cairo scoffed. "Yeah, what, you want to be surrounded by James Bond fans? Stephen King fanboys?"

"That's cool, though," you shrugged. "Gets the point across, isn't badly written, and makes a sometimes beautiful passage along the way."

"Oh, so your writing," she joked, smiling at you. It was an innocent smile, and one that so starkly contrasted the lustful one she had looked at you with only a few days ago. Even in memory, her eyes sent a shiver up your spine.

"Yeah, well, people seem to like it. I guess I’m doing something right," you said. Cairo frowned.

"I don't get it," she shook her head. "And you still won't let me read that first one you wrote."

"It's not exactly something I want to talk about to you."

"Why? Is it bad?" she asked, sitting up straight. You knew she meant 'tell me your dirty secrets' by that.

"I just don't want to."

"Hm," she grumbled, laying back in the chair. "And anyways, if what you say about that thing is true, I don't know why Miller liked it. His book is full of the flowery stuff you complain about."

"He wrote a book???" You were incredulous.

Cairo nodded. "A while ago. Apostrophes and Ampersands."

"Never heard of it."

Cairo shrugged. "It didn't exactly make massive waves. It was ingenious though. Grand and tragic."

"You read it then?" You asked, sitting up and turning towards her.

"Yes, I did," she replied nonchalantly. "I enjoyed it."

You looked out the window for a moment, then back to her. Friends should be friends. "Can I borrow your copy?"

===+++===

"God," you groaned, reading Mr. Miller's book with it held over your head, laying on your back. Cairo had given it to you two days ago and now you were slogging through it, waiting for it to get interesting. "'Human ruins of a madman's love,'" you mocked.

"It's gorgeous," Cairo said. She wasn't in her usual chair, she was sitting by the window with it cracked open, a cigarette in her hand.

"It's not— wait, are you smoking?" You asked, sitting up. Cairo rolled her eyes, grinning at you.

"No, I'm just sitting here with a cigarette lit in my fingers."

"God. Wine and a cigarette, what are you, thirty-four."

"Shut up," she said, putting the cigarette in between her lips and puffing out the window. "And anyways that quote is beautiful."

"Maybe," you challenged. "But what is it actually saying?"

"She means everything to him and he's going crazy for her," Cairo said, like it was obvious. You nodded.

"That's the thought and THAT'S what's good there. That's universal. He's losing the plot— getting lost in the sauce— of trying to sound like he's saying something, to the point where he's losing the entire meat of the message."

"Maybe," said Cairo. "But you said one of your books was If You Give a Mouse a Cookie. Not exactly the height of literature."

"And I stand by that," You said. "That's actually enjoyable. You don't enjoy reading this, you enjoy being clever enough to read this, when it's saying something you've heard a million times in a million more decipherable ways. And those ways end up being more beautiful, too.”

"Perhaps," she said. "Or maybe I think the writing is beautiful."

"Well then, I think you're crazy."

"You're welcome to do that," Cairo replied, smile still wide. "You probably will."

===+++===

You managed not to cave until a warmer day, about a week after that. Cairo Sweet had previously been a sweet exterior with absolutely nothing on the inside for you to feel a deep pull towards. Only now, after slowly becoming comfortable, was the magnetic pull becoming physically painful.

Winnie had been absolutely beside herself, miffed at Cairo coming down and swiping you for herself. For a friend or for something more, it didn't matter. You were indisputably hers. And after a life of belonging to no one, you thought maybe Cairo took some sort of glee over making you belong to her.

Class was boring, Mr. Miller was fine, your mom seemed to be doing better, and school seemed to drone on. So when you came back to Cairo's house like normal, you were entirely unaware of how quickly you would fail your mission.

You were barely in door before she was running down the stairs, and the look of worry and surprise in your face only worsened when she got so up close to you, just for a second, and then just as hungry and hurriedly as before, kissed you with a brutal ferocity.

You were taken aback. Something was off. You pulled your head away and Cairo's palms pressed to your cheeks, thumbs brushing against the side of your face. She pulled you back and you had to turn your head away. "Cairo, what—"

"Shut up for once, please. Just kiss me the way a girl wants to be kissed."

You could feel every neuron telling you to get away from her. This was exactly what you had said you didn't want. And then there was the other side of you. The one that wanted to take her right then and then. You swallowed.

"I can't do these kinds of connections, Cairo. I told you."

"That's fine," Cairo rushed, her hand resting on your shoulder blade now. "I need one thing from you, and that's it. I don't ask for much, but I really need this."

Your eyebrows furrowed at her. "What are you talking about?"

"You've said you don't want anything, and okay, that’s fine. At least give me your body for the night. No strings attached.”

You blinked. “What?”

“I don’t owe you anything, you don’t owe me. We just do whatever this is. You make me feel good, and that’s it.” Her fingers had slithered back up to your hair, scratching gently at your scalp in a way that pulled your focus.

It just took a final glance at her face, for the dam to break. Her cheeks were a dusty red, eyes dilated and staring at you, and though you cursed yourself and your idiot Cro-Magnon mind, your palms went to her legs, tugging her up harshly and wrapping her legs around your waist.

“Shit,” you muttered, highly aware this was probably a bad idea. Cairo wrapped her arms around your neck, kissing you with a smile, and then once that broke, a passionate fervour. It was so much but it was so good. You carried her like that, up the stairs to her room, throwing her down on the bed.

She flipped you over, sitting on your lap like she had been back when the both of you first tried this, and it was all too intoxicating. Cairo’s hands went to your shoulders, pushing you back against the mattress before she leaned over, kissing you softly for a moment until it grew into more.

“Wait—” You said, and Cairo sat up, glaring at you.

“You did not get me all the way up here just to back out now,” said Cairo, annoyed beyond belief. You shook your head, tugging her back onto you. Her hair fell around you like a shield to your little private moment.

“I’m not backing out,” you promised, whispering because you felt like you didn’t want to be too loud. “I mean I’ve never … before.”

Cairo smiled at you, looking into your eyes for a moment. “Me neither,” she whispered back.

“Really?” you asked. Cairo raised her eyebrows.

“Fuck you.”

“No,” you shook your head, hand reaching up to move some of her hair out of her face. That wasn’t how you meant it. “…Really?”

She paused, eyes boring into yours. Then she gently nodded, and lowered herself down onto you, placing her lips on yours for another divine moment. It was all too hot in there. She let out a gasp when you tugged down her skirt.

===+++===

It was about five weeks after you had arrived, and you had gone to Cairo's house almost every week day, to continue exactly what had latched around your throat and tugged you harshly towards her.

There, in the milky white lighting of Cairo's table lamp, with her body snugly laying back against you and her book out in front of her, you fell in love for the first time. Really, fell in love.

Not the kind of "love" that swirls around your head as a child and wraps around the leg of the pretty girl in your class who has shiny hair. That kind of “love” where you can't get out a real sentence while talking to her. In comparison to the heavy feeling growing in your chest like a tumour, that was a mild liking.

No, this was the real thing. Adults had always said cryptic things about love, like "when you know, you'll know," and it hadn't ever really made sense, until it did.

As you looked down to watch her nose scrunch from the Nabokov, those three little words took on a whole new meaning. Her dark hair tickled the bare skin of your chest where she laid. Unlike her you still hadn't put your shirt back on, and you shivered a bit, even from under her blanket and her body heat. Her eyes, dark and focused, scanned across the paper, before elegantly flipping past the page with her thumb.

It was one of those renaissance paintings people cried for, in the Louvre, only it was playing out right in front of your eyes. And with that sudden rush of messy emotion, came the dastardly realisation that you were truly fucked.

"You're staring," she said, pulling you from your thoughts. She looked up at you, curious eyes focusing on your own. "What're you staring for?"

You shrugged, the movement shaking her against you. "What's the book you're reading?" You asked. "You seem mad at it."

She hummed, leaving her finger as a bookmark and flipping the cover towards you. The cover read Pale Fire. "That's because it's mostly incoherent rambling," she said. "Makes no sense."

You raised your eyebrows at her. "You don't understand Pale Fire?"

She tilted her head back, challenging you. “And you do?" You nodded. You had written a report during the two months you were in Maine. "Of course you do,” Cairo groaned, rolling her eyes.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You asked.

Cairo shook her head, patting the side of your leg with her free hand. “Nothing.”

You sat up. “No, seriously. What do you mean?”

She sighed, closing the book around her index finger to hold her page. Cairo shut her eyes for a second, choosing her words carefully. “I mean... you’re annoyingly clever at something you don’t really care about.”

You laughed. "Careful, Sweet. If I didn't know any better I'd say you're jealous."

"Well, I am," said Cairo. "I care about writing so much, and here you come along with literally no passion for it, and you're out-writing me."

"Uh, sorry?" You said with a smile. But the frown you saw on her face told you she wasn't really joking. Cairo scoffed, sitting up and turning towards you.

"No, I'm serious. You barely even try and you spill some amazing few paragraphs, and Mr. Miller loves you like you're his favourite student," she lamented, throwing her hands up in frustration.

"I promise," you sighed, "that I really don't mean to. I don't get it either, so—"

"—See, but that's what's so frustrating!" She cut you off. "You don't mean to. You don't mean to get in my way, but you do because you're so unbelievably perfect at everything, and Mr. Miller loves you so much."

"Okay, wait a minute," you said. "That's not fair."

"What's 'not fair' is me working my ass off until senior year to get to do what I've ALWAYS wanted to do, WRITE, and then you come along and pull all the praise and probably the recommendation letter too!"

You sat there for a moment, taking her words in, your mouth open in surprise. There had always been an inkling that Cairo was unhappy with having you in her class, but you had drowned the thought out with her lips on yours and treasuring every moment you made her smile with something stupid you said.

You cleared your throat and Cairo was already apologising. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that," she said, reaching towards you. "It's just so important to me, I get really worked up..."

"It's fine," you rushed. You knew people screamed and said nasty stuff when they were mad. It's just how people were, and it made sense to you. Your mom was like that too, with the yelling and stuff. "Do you..." you mumbled, trying to figure out how to solve her problem. "Do you want me to stop trying?" You asked.

Cairo's eyes lit up within an instant at the idea. "That would be amazing," she breathed. "Thank you so much." She reached across the space between you, kissing with a softness that hadn't previously been there. It was sweet, just like she was, and you breathed a sigh of relief, with the confrontation being over.

You nodded. "Sure." Then your gaze went out the window, realising the sun was starting to set and rain clouds were starting to form. Your hand flew to your leg, having forgotten you were only in your underwear.

"You left it downstairs, remember?" Cairo said, almost playful. When the two of you had gotten to her house, her lips had been so firmly ravaging your neck that your pants hadn't even made it up the stairs before she tugged them off and flung them to the marble bust that stood nearby. You sighed.

"Do you know what time it is?" You asked, getting up from the bed and around to the other side to pick your shirt up off the floor. Cairo also got up, throwing the sheets off herself and walking right over to her closet.

"No, I left my phone at school on accident," she replied, opening the door and flicking through the hangers. You pulled the shirt on over your head and fixed the soft collar. On the opposite side of the room, Cairo pulled out the same cream-coloured dress she had been wearing when you first came to study with her. You paused.

"You're getting all fancy?" You asked, turning to her floor mirror and attempting to fix your absolutely messy hair in a way that it wouldn't be clear Cairo had run her hands through it and gripped on tight.

"Mhm," Cairo said. "Having a guest over tonight."

"Oh. They work with your parents or something?" You said, turning to watch her with curiosity over her answer. Cairo pulled off her shirt so that she was now completely naked. She turned back to you with a smile.

"Do you like what you see?" said Cairo, and it made you blush a bit. You nodded.

"You're absolutely beautiful," you said. If you weren't worried about getting home before dinner, you would have walked right over to her and tugged her back into her bed. Cairo waved you off.

"You're too kind," she said. "Now run on home, lover boy." Cairo disappeared into the bathroom with the dress in her hand, and you heard her rustling around with the sink, probably doing her makeup.

"I... I guess I'll see you, then," you said, left alone in the room.

"Mhm," she called from the bathroom. You frowned, but did a final scan for anything you needed to take before heading out her bedroom door and down the stairs, to where your jeans were clumsily thrown over the Roman statue's head. You tugged your phone and keys from the pocket.

"Fuck," you cursed. Only around thirty minutes to get the whole way across town to your house before your mom started worrying. You walked right over to the door... only to find it was also pouring down rain, now. Dammit. You tugged on your jacket from where it had been hanging on a steel coatrack by the door, pulling the hood up.

You walked out onto the porch, shut the door behind you, and took off running, going as fast as you could down the garden and then up the street into the woods. You got about a hundred metres from her house, that was, until you stopped.

Driving right past you, barely able to see him in the storm, was Mr. Miller. Driving right to Cairo's house in his little sedan. You froze, stopping dead in the rain to watch him go. Even after his license plate retreated in the distance, you felt a sickening sense of dread begin to pool in your gut, one that was already tarnishing your prior bliss.

===+++===

part three perhaps? i also have a tara carpenter one in the works and a lorraine day that's mostly done so hopefully i'll be updating more frequently

[vincentbriggs]

Hello! Transfem person here. I haven't started HRT yet, but want to procure a 1730s menswear suit (actually decided based on your video). I would prefer not to wait for it if possible, since I don't know when HRT is going to be possible. I am, however, a little concerned about my bust size changing and affecting the fit of the waistcoat. Is that decade usually pretty forgiving in it's tailoring? I am also considering having the upper back tie like some later waistcoats to accommodate if necessary (even if it's not entirely historical), but I figured I would ask you.

Thank you!

Hello! Ooh yay! Not enough people do early 18th century, so I'm delighted to hear that! (Link to the 1730's suit mentioned.)

I think the fit would be affected, yeah. The sides of the waistcoat are easy enough to let out (and we have extant examples of waistcoats with an extra strip of fabric added into the side seam) but the curve of the front is pretty important to how it sits on you. But then, it is fashionable in that era to leave quite a lot of the top portion unbuttoned, so maaaybe you could get away with it not fitting as well, depending on what changed and how much?

Regarding the adjustability of waistcoats, some of the earlier ones actually do have lacing in the back! This red one is an especially nice example, and it's separate all the way to the top.

(c. 1740's, V&A) (Though you also do see ones with the back hacked up and a bunch of ties that were likely added by Victorians for their fancy dress parties.)

The breeches also have adjustable waistbands, of course, so I think the hardest part to alter would be the coat. The back vent is edge to edge, so there's no overlap to sneak a bit more width out of, and letting out the side seams would require re-doing those massive pleats, which were the part I found the most difficult when making my coat. But fortunately those coats were worn open a lot of the time, so even if they're not quite right when buttoned, they should still look ok unbuttoned.

It's very difficult to predict how the fit will be affected, since HRT is different for everyone and things keep changing years down the line. (One comment on this post talks about suddenly getting more breast and hip growth after 7, 12, and 14 years.)

I only have experience from the transmasc side of things, and alas, I very much did outgrow all my old waistcoats and coats. My 1730's suit needs alterations, because the waistcoat is a bit too small, and the coat seams could use a bit of letting out too. (I made those the year after top surgery, but my ribcage kept expanding and my posture improving for quite a while.)

I've been putting it off because alterations are boring :/ My pre-top surgery waistcoats are all way too small across the chest even though material was removed, because my posture was kinda bad and I didn't even notice it, and I expect that the opposite could also lead to the same sort of better posture from more confidence & comfort.

But bodies keep changing forever anyways, even without transitioning. Plenty of cis people can't fit into the things they sewed when they were younger, so we may as well make things to fit us now. Perhaps you could make the suit now, but use a not-too-expensive fabric, and then maybe alter it later, or make a newer and better one with the experience you gained from the first one!

Also I know you specifically said menswear suit, but I want to add the fun fact that women's riding habits in this era looked extremely similar to men's suits!

(Left: Maria Amalia von Habsburg by Franz Joseph Winter, right: Member of the Van der Mersch Family by Cornelis Troost.)

As far as I can tell, the main differences are that the riding habits have a petticoat instead of breeches, and are made to fit over stays.

(Empress Elisabeth Christine in riding costume, unknown artist.)

So similar, in fact, that this portrait of a young lady in a riding habit was misidentified as a young man!

Most of the petticoat is out of frame, but you can still see that it's not beeches, and the stays shape is pretty obvious. Very silly of Sotheby's not to notice!

I have no idea if you're interested in wearing a riding habit, and I'm not sure how difficult it would be to alter the somewhat looser men's coat to fit over stays, but thought I ought to mention it.

[olderthannetfic]

A common argument I see against constructive or negative opinions (even in For Readers spaces now apparently 🙄) is that they crush people's dreams of being a writer.

And like. I have diagnosed issues with rejection sensitivity, so sharing my work publicly was extremely difficult for me at first. But it was just something I had to get through if I wanted to be a writer. When I was in a university level creative writing class, I was stunned that they wasted a seminar teaching us stuff like you're/your and there/their/they're until I noticed that my classmates found it really useful. I realised 00s fandom taught me better grammar than the actual official school system, say nothing of charactisation, voice, pacing, etc. There were a LOT of resources to help new writers understand writing 101 and avoid annoying mistakes/cliché plots, which you don't really see anymore. I honestly feel like I got an expensive years long creative writing course for free.

And even as a melodramatic and oversensitive tween, I always had the attitude that I wanted my writing to be good, so if people pointed out typos or grammar mistakes I'd just thank them, fix it and remember for next time??? I never once felt "bullied" by legitimate criticism: as someone who actually was bullied a lot IRL, 00s fandom was actually one of the few spaces where I felt comfortable and safe. Whereas tbh I don't always feel comfortable with this modern culture where fanfic writers demand comments in return for creating "content" "for free" but setting strict demands for what kind of comments they want to receive. (And ofc it's for free! It's not their intellectual property!)

Which is all to say, if someone telling you "hey, maybe consider adding paragraph breaks" makes you want to quit writing forever then maybe you didn't actually want to be a writer all that much.

--

I think people mix a whole bunch of dissimilar things.

If you go to art/film/etc. school, you'll need to get used to group critique. It's partly about advice, but a lot of it is about toughening you up for future situations where your audience is not going to care about why a work isn't up to their standards. I think some of these practices actually can be pretty damaging. It really depends on the professor to make them constructive.

A key element is that people who are going through that are usually supposed to already have some experience and be pretty committed, so they aren't going to shrivel up and quit.

When I was a little baby writer, I was indeed pretty sensitive. Even while trying to finish the first draft of a novel, I need cheerleading or maybe goading to put my ass in a chair. The hard part is getting the words out, not making them good. So a lot of negative shit, even if well meant and useful, would just be discouraging.

But...

There's a big difference between having no interest in back seat driving from AO3 comments and opposing all review-ish conversation anywhere, whether it's bookmarks or discord servers or other archives that have more of a culture of reviews than of comments for the author.

I think you can want to improve but not want to do it via AO3 comments. You should still leave readers to do their thing outside of your comments though. Analyzing or reviewing can be a big part of someone's own fannish activity—a positive and fun hobby for them, not just an excuse to yell at the writer.

[jisuto]

On the topic of game reception, what are your thoughts on the current state of pokemon?

OK THIS ASK WAS SENT BEFORE THE HUGE LEAK LOL but I have a lot to say:

I watched VHS tapes, played the games, and owned merch since a young age so the series is very special to me. But I don't like the current direction at all and it's not because of the designs or nostalgia. The quality and game performance plummeted so how can I enjoy playing when there's mad lag or low frame rate that hinders my progress and worsen the experience??

It took too many years for them to realize they need to put quality over quantity after the SWSH mess, seeing that they can get away with pretty much ANYTHING and still make huge profit. You see people say that Pokemon should've never went 3D and stay 2D but tbh, it's a series that improves it's graphics as technology advances so it's not a surprise for them to finally go 3D and personally I think that's fine but just keep it looking good and fun (though I would love a 2D/3D hybrid). XY introduced a lot of new features but still lacked in some aspects that still haven't really been solved or added.

Reusing assets is common in the industry but only to a certain extent. They claimed that SWSH was taking a while to make because they were making brand new models which turned out to be a lie and they look like bootleg figures with the new lighting. The 3DS models were ripped from Pokepark, including some animations, but a lot of them still barely have any character. They have their own in-house team (Creatures Inc) so they made the decision NOT to have pokemon properly animated or look alive.... Also they made spin-offs like Ranger, Colosseum, Pokepark, and Pokken which look AMAZING

FRLG took only one year while HGSS was being developed at the same time as Platinum and took 3 years to finish that turned into one of the best games and remakes ever made. As the franchise expands, the team also needs to add more manpower but Game Freak can definitely afford to get more resources to help them?? They can't continue having a ragtag team of like 20 people to make a game back then and do the same now then expect good results... Hire more people who know how create with current gen consoles IT'S COMMON SENSE PLS also I can't believe they had a different company create BDSP knowing how beloved and groundbreaking DPPT was?? No redesigns like the previous remakes and thought it was a good idea to keep it looking a carbon copy to the DS style...

Also it's shocking to see how fan reception can change how the devs direct the next gen ESPECIALLY when it's not even real constructive criticism?? When Unova came out, I remember seeing all the online outcry about "OH THEY HAVE AN ICE CREAM CONE POKEMON AND A TRASH BAG, THEY'RE RUNNING OUT OF IDEAS EW" then actually hear it being repeated at school.... I WAS TRYING TO SURVIVE SINCE DAY 1 IN THE TRENCHES DEFENDING THIS GAME IT WAS ALWAYS GOOD AND DIDN'T NEED 10 YEARS TO AGE WELL. It's crazy how these are the same people who want another Kanto when Trubbish is Grimer (garbage waste) and Vanillite is Voltorb (based on literal items) then you could not catch any other pokemon from different regions in the main game. And the leak confirmed that the disgruntled hate from the west made the devs not release new pokemon in B2W2 and move them over to XY instead AND NOT GIVE A SINGLE GEN 5 MEGA EVOLUTION. So we were robbed because of genwunners who were fixated on the wrong things and ignored all the great content Unova brought us. It's strange how players keep complaining they want a different and fresh game, but want it to continue being super formulaic and binary like wtf do you want make up your mind

None of the switch titles really got me invested and I always end up replaying the older games but hopefully PLZA will break the curse and finally give us a nice game. Also why don't we have more spin-offs on the switch if there's so many of them floating around like the DS had a bunch??? STOP BEING COWARDS I WANT A POKEMON NINTENDOGS GAME OR THAT FIRE EMBLEM CROSSOVER WE WERE SUPPOSED TO GET. I JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN AGAIN ;w;

[docholligay]

Choose Your own Adventure: June 2024

Listen the quality is middling and I really really wish I had more time to work out the rough bits of this but it's 3021 words which is more than I've written in a month in a long, long time. So thank you all so much!

I’ve had nightmares ever since I was a kid. 

I guess that’s not actually all that impressive, plenty of people can say they’ve had nightmares since they were a kid. No, what I mean is, I’ve had the sort of nightmares where I dream too deep, and I can’t escape, since I was a kid. 

You ever dream too deep? Where you know you’re dreaming, but you can’t get yourself out of it. The most insane things can be happening around you--once I was trapped in Picasso’s Guernica, after I saw a picture of it in my sixth grade social studies book--but it must be real, because if it weren’t real, you could wake up. 

I was doing that. I couldn’t wake up, but I was in the most fucking insane situation of my life. Not a quite a nightmare, too strange to be a nightmare. Sitting in a historical house in England, surrounded by a bunch of people that aren’t real. Completely fake. Internationally trademarked, even. 

The fact that they weren’t real, however, wasn’t keeping me from building a fire in a glorious marble fireplace  while noted fictional characters Fareeha Amari and Haruka Tenoh moved furniture around, trying to get a space for everyone to draw their boundaries for the night. 

It was tense. Tension’s a lot more fun when you’re writing it instead of living it. 

Lena dropped an armful of wood beside me and crouched down, looking at the arrangement of logs. It’d be fair enough to question what I was doing. I’m good at building a fire, great even, but that supposes a number of things are true. I don’t know if they’re true here. Does wood even cure in the UK? It must, wood cures everywhere, but it’s just so goddamn damp here. 

“Set of matches upstairs.” She picked at the edge of one of the logs. “If you need.” 

I didn’t want her to go upstairs. I don’t know why, but it prickled across my skin. I don’t like it. There’s something odd about this place, beautiful as it is. Don’t get me wrong, I still wanted to wander around every inch of the house. The carved woods, the hand-knotted carpets, no one to tell me I couldn’t touch it, running my fingers across the flocked wallpaper. But I didn’t want her to. 

“Well, I’m just gonna look around here,” I stood up, stepping toward the mantle,  “has to be a match somewhere, it’s a fireplace for fuck’s sake. Can’t light it with hope. No need for you to run around all hell in the dark.” 

She chuckled appreciatively and got to her feet. 

“Oh, I’m alright.” She scratched the back of her head, “I’m the only one knows where it is. Improve everyone’s mood a bit, warm fire.” 

I’ve had these dreams all my life. The fastest way to get out of them, is to follow the rules of them. My brain wants these worlds to be real, and so they have to be real. If I call it a dream, if I try to break out, it closes in tighter. Dream people don’t like to know they’re fake dream houses like to stay firm on the ground. These dreams are waves to be ridden. That this one feels more real than anything I’ve ever had is all the more reason to be careful. All I needed to do was get through it. As soon as the tow truck pulls up, I would just fade into the dawn. I’ve done my part. 

But the reality of it. Even looking at Lena, I couldn’t imagine the perfection of her. Everything’s the way I know it, but have never seen. Her eyes are bright and brown and filled with stars. Her smile is crooked and constant, completely unself-consious. Her messy hair with its chestnut glimpses in the light. All perfect. But things I hadn’t imagined, either. Things that were completely correct, but I could never have written down. The barely-visible scar on her arm, from breaking it as a child. The rips in her sweater, lovingly darned. 

Was it like this for God, that his creations were made more real in their own time? 

Wow, comparing myself to God, that’s a fascinating level of arrogance on display as I’m freezing to death. 

“Haruka!” I call out behind me, “Can I use your lighter?” 

Lena looks at me. I shrug. 

“She smoked when we were in the van.” 

“Oh yeah!” She laughs and adds a small piece of tinder to the fire, “I forgot. She’s been round the backside of every pub we’ve stopped at.” 

Haruka tossed it, not leaving Mina’s side, not wanting to join the conversation. It doesn’t matter. She’s still young, and annoying, and I don’t expect it. If I could have picked, I’d meet forty year old Haruka. But the lighter is more important now, one step closer to waking up to my three year old running into the room. I’ve done this plenty of times. 

First fire. Then phone.

_________

Lena watched the fire catch, and then rose to her feet, offering Doc’s shoulder a pat. Everyone would be a better mood when they were a little warmer, and maybe Lena herself could cast off the strange feeling that had come over her since she went into the house. The house wasn’t talking to her, the house didn’t know her, the house wasn’t creeping around her like the ivy on the side of the house. 

Course not. 

That didn’t mean, though, that things weren’t odd. 

Fareeha was moving together couches and piling in bedding from another room. It was a good idea, they’d probably all have to spend the night here, and Lena ignored the twinge that she shouldn’t be using the fine coverlets, the down pillows. It was just like a thought said in another room, anyway. 

She should go apologize. She thought it would be funny to scare Fareeha--and it was--but Lena did whatever came to her mind first, and never thought a day, a month, a year past it. She should have known it would bother her, having spent so much time trying to professional in front of two people who wouldn’t know professional if it slapped them across the ass. Who, honestly, didn’t care about how well Fareeha ran the organization. 

But Fareeha did care, and Lena had upset her, and she cared about Fareeha even if she was an annoying stick in the mud who never met a rule she didn’t like. When you care about people, sometimes you have to pretend you care about other things as well. 

So she went to Fareeha’s side, and touched at the pillow on the couch in front of her, fluffing it slightly. 

“Listen, earlier, that’s the sort of thing you more or less expect from me andI I thought it’d be a bit of fun, and---alright, what I --I didn’t mean to embarrass you. In front of the posh poodles. Or what ‘ave you.” 

Fareeha barely looked up at her. “Who said that you embarassed me?” 

Lena gave a short sigh. Well, she’d done her part. Fareeha’s pride was what it was, and there wasn’t much to be done about it. 

“Right.” She looked at the shadows the fire threw upon the wall, squinting as if she could almost read them. “Strange place.” 

She said it quietly, almost to herself, but flicked her eyes back to Fareeha’s, knowing she would hear and hoping she would confirm it. Not quite a whisper, but most certainly a private conference. Fareeha said nothing, her eyes simply meeting Lena’s in silent assessment, but nothing was not a denial. Right, of course. Fareeha, for whatever her faults might be: Her stubborness and pride, for example, qualities that Lena herself most certainly did not embody, or, if she did, embodied them in a much less annoying way--for all that, she trusted Lena. She didn’t think Lena was crazy. 

She took the silence, as she took most silences, as leave to continue. 

“Don’t you wonder about this rain?”

“In England? No. I absolutely do not.” 

“It doesn’t rain like this.” Lena shook her head, trying to ignore the shadow play on the wall.  “It drizzles, London fog, grey, all that. Does this seem a drizzle to you? For hours now. Doesn’t strike you as odd. Just a bit? Something is not right.” 

Fareeha smiled. “We are,” she waved a hand and clapped it heavily on Lena’s shoulder, squeezing. “on a windswept moor, or something. You don’t hear ghosts, just Heathcliff howling.” 

Lena took a few steps back and shook Fareeha’s hand off her shoulder. 

“Right, first off, we ain’t in Yorkshire, this is Surrey. Buy a map. Second off, you’re really proud of finishing that book. Third off,” It reached a stage whisper, a wide gesture, “don’t bloody patronize me! Fareeha!”

“Fourth off, there’s a ghost in Wuthering Heights.” 

Lena and Fareeha both looked over to where Doc had appeared beside them. Lena didn’t much care for anyone to have quiet feet but her. 

“You think this house is haunted?”

“Not necessarily, I’m just givin’ a book report. I guess. Anyway,” Doc broke from Fareeha’s gaze, “Everyone’s mood would prolly greatly improve with some food.”

Food? 

When did she eat last? She ran back in her mind, trying to figure out what it had been. They’d been at the Spoons, for some ungodly reason ordering chicken katsu, and what had she had? A little pizza. A pint. Alright, two pints. She should be fine. She spent a lot of time talking, didn’t she? At least, Fareeha had said so, but you know--

She saw the pizza box in the back of the van, more than half full. 

“Right! I’m ‘ungry, is all.” 

Plenty of people who were supposedly experts in a thing that had never happened had said plenty of things about her, after the slipstream, and most of them had been only too happy to suggest Lena be tossed in the bin like a broken toy. She’d never be right, you know. MIght never talk again, then did, might never take care of herself, did that too, might never be able to work again, check, and she would have had her pilot’s license back immediately if everyone at the CAA wasn’t so bloody straightlaced. She had done it all, everything they said she wouldn’t. 

Might even be a danger to herself or others, for all she’s talking about seeing the pasts overlapping, about screaming into a London that was covered in soot that was under siege by the Vikings that was bombed to the ground that was her living room.He’d never let that go. She’d been a bit forgetful and chatty, with a tireless body, since she was small, but now everything she said and did was some proof of his theory. Everything was proof of an ‘unquiet mind’, never mind that they’d been happy enough to recruit her busy, loud mind before. She’d hated that insufferable prick the most, and that was quite the accomplishment. 

No one thought she was crazy, why was she thinking about this? Why was she thinking about the house? She was hungry. When she was hungry, it was easy for her to jump tracks. Happened all the time. 

Fareeha was looking at her carefully. 

“I have meal replacement bars in my bag. You can have any of them.” 

If there was anything worse than Fareeha’s constant criticism, it was her occasional concern. 

“Oh, right! The blueberry kale one.” Lena gave a bright smile, “Not to betray me English right of resignation to misery, but ‘ave we tried going the kitchen?” 

“I can cook. I’ll help.” 

___

I don’t know why I volunteered. Other than I knew exactly what kind of meal replacement bars Fareeha has stashed in her backpack, and even if there were only a few scant things in the pantry, it would be beter than a bunch of bars with the name “Superfood slam” or “Supergreen.” 

Also, I genuinely did think everyone would be better off with some food. I don’t know what Mina’s up to in the corner with Haruka, but she keeps giving me this stare, like she’s trying to peer into my soul. She knows something’s up with me. 

I just have to keep going until it’s finished. Six am comes real early.

“Alright.” Lena shrugs with a smile, “I can probably manage not to kill anyone, so between the two of us it’ll be a regular feast.” 

You’re actually a pretty decent cook, I want to say, you took an A level in food studies in a desperate attempt to get what you needed to qualify as a pilot. You grew up helping cook. You may be the best cook in this room who isn’t me. But I need to remember I don’t know these people, at least to them. 

Remember the dream about the opera? Remember telling your seatmate the end of the story? Remember how the stage caved in, remember how it dragged you down, remember how you forgot to believe in the dream? Remember how dark it got? Lena is a stranger to you and you don’t know anything about her you couldn’t have read in a magazine somewhere. 

Relax and enjoy the dream. Hell, maybe it’ll give you some ideas for that crushing writer’s block you’ve had. It’s easy, everyone agreed to send you two off, there was a flashlight given over, and you more or less understand the layout of older houses--why does this place look so familiar anyway? It’s not the Moss Mansion. It’s not the Biltmore.--so you thought you could find the kitchen. Easy. 

But why are there so many things I would never imagine? Why are the cell phones different? Why--

“What about you, then?” Chipper and bright. 

“What about me?” 

We were wandering the first floor, looking for a dining room, which would suggest a kitchen. The walls were dark, carved in relief squares with pictures and saints’ portraits hung, all of them watching, some directing, some whispering, but all watching. 

“You know,” she swung the flashlight in front of her, “Married. Kids. Sunday league team. Just making conversation in the dark.” She laughed at herself. “Nothing important.” 

“Yeah, married. Daughter.” I’m never sure how much to say, how to keep from betraying myself. I suddenly remember I’m not supposed to know anything. “Oh, you?” 

“Nearly there!” A sliver of moonlight hit her face, and the beauty of the joy in her face was illuminated in silver like a holy manuscript. 

“Going to ask ‘er next month, when we go on ‘oliday. Oh, but she’s beautiful. And so kind. Patient, which to ‘ear me family say is the only reason she can tolerate me. I don’t know ‘ow I ended up so lucky--you imagine, girl like ‘er, in me family’s pub with the sticky carpet and--but that doesn’t matter, i did manage to charm her, and now I’ve got the ring.” 

There was a strange twist in my stomach, then. Something deep and sick inside me, like I ws aboard a tossing ship. 

“Never really saw meself settling down, not that I didn’t want to, but it’s a dangerous life, mine, and--”

Ah. Guilt. That’s what it is. 

“Here it is.” I half-ran through the dining room. I couldn’t listen to her be in love anymore. “Kitchen.” 

___

Doc was flipping through the pantry, muttering to herself as she took the tops off a few spice jars, sticking her nose over the top. 

“Boy, no one here’s been particularly burdened by seasoning.” She set the jar of smoked paprika back down with a clink. 

“Yeah?” 

“Everything’s old.” She reached into the pantry again. “Least in here.” 

Doc moved away from where the unhappy jars sat, and went to another cabinet. People teased Lena, said that she never paid attention to anything, but the problem, Lena had often observed, was that she paid too much attention to everything, and it was hard to keep it all catalouged. Looking at Doc, watching her mutter to herself, the way her fingers drifted over surfaces, the way she bounced when she walked and how her eyes wandered. Lena couldn’t be sure, you could never really be sure of anything like that, but there was something kindred between them. 

“You’re a bit like me, I think.” Lena jumped up onto the countertop and opened a tall cabinet, revealing nothing but some old glassware. 

“No,” Doc shut the cabinet with an annoyed thump, “You’re a little like me.” 

Didn’t ask how she meant. Didn’t even think about what Lena might have been saying about it. Didn’t disagree. Doc stopped in the middle of the room and nodded. 

“I’m older than you, I mean. I came first.”  Doc shrugged. “So it’s you who’s like me. A little bit.”

She stood in front of the few cans they’d managed to gather and threw a pot on the stove, turning on the gas and striking a match all in a swift and praticed motion. The burner lit without dramatics. 

“Anyway, who the fuck wants to talk about it? Congratulations, we’re both twitchy and weird. Want to place bets on who can sit still the longest? Short game. Hand me that knife, will you?“ 

Lena sat down on the butcher block counter, her arms around her knees and watched Doc as she popped open cans and began to toss them in the pot. Not everyone wanted to talk about what made them tick, and it wasn’t even as if Lena had necessarily wanted a deep conversation about it. It was only an observation, an extension of friendship. Maybe she’d embarrassed her by noticing. Lena’d felt that way herself a time or two. It doesn’t always feel complimentary to have someone tell you they know you’re odd. Not every family was like Lena’s about it. She grabbed the knife and extended it toward Doc. 

Kill her.

Lena jumped back with the ferocity of it, the knife clattering to the counter. Doc turned to her, eyes narrowed. 

“What is it?” 

Kill her before she kills you. 

For next month

[lfghughes]

Can u pls do one inspired by if this was a movie by Taylor swift for jack Hughes??

a/n: officially listening to this song on repeat now. hope you like this!

Your fingers reached across the bed, disappointing flooding your body when all you felt was emptiness. It had been a couple months since your breakup but some mornings before your brain was fully awake you still would reach out for Jack, only to be disappointed when you realized he wasn’t there any more. You weren’t even sure why you were disappointed. You had been the one to break things off but in the back of your mind you had thought that within a week or two he would show back up, promising things would change. That stuff only happened in movies.

There was no romantic moment where he showed up outside your place with a boombox playing your favorite love song or a huge public display of his love for you. All you got was radio silence from him which was exactly what you asked for. Didn’t he realize you wanted the opposite of what you actually said? Now was the perfect time for him to not listen to you. A groan left your lips as you got out of your bed.

Going out tonight was not something you were willingly participating in but when your friends said you were going out they didn’t mean it at as an option. Actually they made it very clear they were tired of your moping around and that this would be good for you. You managed to prove them wrong because after being home all day your mood did not improve and you actually preferred not going out at all. You didn’t even try to look like you were having a good time and anytime a guy came up to you, you brushed him off.

Somehow the night managed to get worse when you noticed Jack. It took you a few seconds to really realize it was him because of all places for him to go to why here? Maybe you were still home asleep and this was a bad nightmare. But no this was real and the cherry on the cake? He was surrounded by a bunch of girls. You broke up with him and yet it stung knowing he was moving on. Your eyes locked with each other and you saw a flash of pain grow on his face. It felt like there was no air left in the room so you quickly excused yourself from your friend circle, they were all too busy to really notice anything.

It got slightly better outside except for the fact that it was pouring down rain and you didn’t exactly have a ride back home. Why had you listened to your friends instead of driving yourself out here. You’re not sure what really took over you but you stepped out into the rain and even though you would regret it in about fifteen minutes, the water felt refreshing on your skin. “You’re going to catch a cold out there.” Jacks voice made you jump, not expecting him to have followed you out. He was still standing under the awning but you could see it in his face that he was deeply considering stepping out.

“Why are you out in the rain?” The question was so simple that it made you giggle, the first time laughter had left your lips in weeks. “It was hard to breathe in there.” You answered. Once again he looked up at the sky and then stepped out into the rain in front of you. You looked up at him, watching the water droplets hit him. “You should go back inside.” Of course you didn’t want him to leave but you were sure he would have a lot more fun in there. “I’m not going to leave you alone.” Again his words made you want to laugh, he had already done that successfully.

“I miss you.” This time his words hit deep and when you looked in his eyes you knew he meant it. “You didn’t even try..” You spoke low enough that you weren’t even sure if he could hear your words over the rain but the look of confusion on his face let you know he heard you just fine. “You told me not to.”

“Well you’re an idiot.” The words slipped from your lips before you could stop yourself and this time it was Jack who was left laughing. His hand went to the side of your face, pulling you in until your lips met. The kiss made you forget about the rain outside or about everything in general except for Jack himself. He pulled away just enough “My car is right down there, let’s get you home.”

[here2bbtstrash]

Miss you❤️

i miss you all so much, my goodness 🥹 shall we do a small life update?

partner moved in! my place was small to begin with so it's definitely a little cramped in here now 🥴 but we have our eyes on getting a bigger place when the lease is up. i'm super happy to have him around all the time, just sleeping in the same bed every night and sharing our meals together brings me so much comfort. it's been really wonderful!!

i turned thirty 😳 and honestly it... hasn't been a big deal at all lmao. i feel so excited to be entering this decade. i think i care a lot less about things that ultimately don't matter than i did in my twenties, and i feel a lot more sure about myself and what's important to me! plus i had a super-fun karaoke party with some of my favorite humans 🥰

i've seen so much kpop this summer, and it's not even over yet!!!! txt, itzy, ive, stray kids, ateez, and we have (g)i-dle, kard, and seventeen still to come before the year is through!! the shows have all been AMAZING, and ofc the best part is having friends come into town and getting to experience it together!! (and yes we did see lolla felix in person and no i have not recovered 😵‍💫)

and for the least-fun update..... health news 😔 after a whole bunch of concerning symptoms that were continuing to worsen over the last year, i sought out a specialist and got some tests run and have been diagnosed with ✨endometriosis✨ - and friends, this shit blows. i am on some new meds that we are hoping will help mitigate symptoms so that i don't have to have surgery (for now!), but the adjustment period has not been even a little bit fun, nor have the swirling unknowns about things like fertility or long-term quality of life. it's something i'm trying to give myself space to process and get adjusted to, bc even as someone with long-term mental health issues and adhd, adjusting to a chronic physical illness is a whole nother fucking ballpark. but i'm hopeful for an improvement with these new meds, and very lucky to have the best support system i could ever ask for - y'all know who you are 🫶

unfortunately, because of all these bullet points but particularly the last one, writing has continued to be at a full standstill. i am really hopeful that the inspiration will come back for me when it's ready, but for now i'm allowing myself to be in a different season of life and feel okay with that! i am still counting down the days til our boys come home (i quite literally am on the verge of tears every time i think about how SOON we will have hobi back MY LOOOOOOVE 😭😭😭) and i cannot wait to see what this next chapter brings, for them and for us!!

i hope you're all doing well, would love to hear your own life updates if you feel like sharing!! MWAH 🤍

[project-sekai-facts]

Is it me or are the new outfits simpler? Like old ones had a lot of tiny useless details all around, the new ones look "cleaner" in comparison. It's not bad I kinda like it but it definitely feels weird

Before we start I just wanna say that I kinda critically analysed the costume designs instead of you know. just talking about the details. cool here we go

Yeah aside from VBS they all feel so. Plain, I guess? MMJ’s outfits probably the worst instance, imo they felt more same-y than before and I get they’re an idol unit so they were gonna be uniform but there’s something off. It’s the blue, I get that it’s probably a nod to the blue penlights, but using green or their respective image colors would’ve been better I think. You can barely even see Haruka or Shizuku's image colors on the skirts. Honestly I don’t think the accessories are that bad, they’re pretty cute and fit the group, though the costume being so plain outside of them just makes it look like there should be more. the thing is the outfits aren't the same, they have different skirts and shirts like the original it's just the fact that they all have the same color scheme and similar-enough accessories that it makes the differences less noticable. their image colors should've been the primary or secondary color not the tertiary color.

Leo/need I can get being more uniform, it goes with their whole thing, and I liked how there’s still a lot of details to differentiate them and give them personality. Honestly their original color scheme was pretty basic but making their image colors the secondary colors instead of of the primary colors of their outfit? it just wasn't it. honestly it wouldn't be too bad if the grey wasn't such an ugly color it looks really bad. if they'd gone with black or a much darker grey for the blazers it would've looked so much better and made the accents stand out more. also, the lack of accessories... i get they're more "professional and mature" but their outfits are quite boring, especially next to Miku's. If all of them had a big star armband like Honami or even had a bigger star buckle anywhere (like on a belt) it would look a bit nicer.

WxS was an improvement from Leo/need maybe? The outfits are definitely the most detailed so far, and they had a lot of personality. I like that they kept the original theme of character types (Rui being a villain, Nene being a fairy, etc), and it's not hard to tell what role each of them are meant to be (except emu but it wasn't obvious what hers was in the first place). I think Tsukasa's fits his personality quite well; he plays hero roles so he has a prince sort of outfit, he's the leader so he's got the sash, and he usually dresses very smart. it's very plain though, definitely could've done with brighter colors on the accessories, and maybe keeping the belt charm. also the jacket and trousers being the same color without much to separate them and balance it out doesn't look great. emu and nene's are both better, the color palettes are really nice and their outfits aren't plain holy shit. Emu's fits her personality really well - just by looking you can tell she's a fun and positive person. Rui's is probably the one i'd say is best out of the bunch. I know we can't see the front but the asymmetry and use of black in the color palette makes it stand out a lot and really adds something that the others were lacking. it's a very good villain outfit as well.

N25's were simple, but managed to actually pull it off. they didn't feel really plain compared to some of the other units despite actually being pretty plain. their outfits were always dark, and that hasn't changed, but making the colors more murky adds an extra layer to it. the addition of the flower patterns really adds something to take away the plainess of the original outfits, as well as adding relevant symbolism. Mafuyu's especially stands out being the lightest color and being the most ragged. It tells you she's different, she appears bright and perfect at first, but when you look further down, she's damaged. The image colors could've done with being a bit brighter maybe but other than that these are pretty good.

VBS outfits are actually really good. There I said it. They're able to feel cohesive as a group while still managing to reflect the individuality of each members and not be plain. The outfits fit their personal styles really well, Kohane's more girly, An's more cool and mature, Akito's sporty and active and Toya's more smart but still has the street look. Despite their outfits looking totally different, you can tell they're a unit because of the reddish-pink accents on all their outfits and also using white as a unifying color. i know i complained about the white making the other outfits plain but it's far more balanced out here and isn't as in-your-face. it isn't like MMJ and WxS that have white as their main outfit color. With VBS it's just one white item of clothing: Kohane's sweater, An's cargos, Akito's hoodie and Toya's tshirt. it's incorporated in a very natural way and isn't overly prominent. their image colors and other colors are used just as much in the outfits to balance it out. they have the best balance undoubtedly. even the accessories, they aren't big and there's not a whole lot of them, but the outfits already have a lot going on so they don't need to be complex, they're just there to add something extra.

There’s too much white.

[tizeline]

Now that we're entering into 2024, I'm asking some artists and writers that I follow:

1) What is the one piece you're most proud of from this past year?

2) What are some pieces that you would have liked more people to see? If you can include links, I'd love to go check them out!

3) What were your top three favorite pieces (art, comics, fics, etc) that someone else has made this past year?

(As always, no pressure to respond! Feel free to just ignore, or let me know if you'd rather I not send you these kinds of asks in the future.)

Oh this is fun! :D

1) The drawing I'm the most proud of this year is actually one I never ended up posting lmao, so I suppose this is the perfect reason to actually do that

I always feel a bit self-concious about posting non-fanart drawings cuz they don't tend to gain as much attention. Which, I am fully aware that there are more important things than clout! But I am a simple woman, I crave validation 😔 Anyway, I am still very happy about how this one turned out. I very much prefer drawing characters over enviroments, which led to me being way worse at drawing enviroments than characters, so I've been pushing myself for the last couple of years to get better at drawing backgrounds and surroundings. While I still definetily have a lot of room for improvement, this illustration here is the best I've done in drawing enviroments yet.

2) Again, original stuff don't tend to get as much attention (which I fully understand btw, I don't wanna make it seem like I'm complaining too much, I very much appreciate any and all support I get!!!!) but this post with some doodles of my OCs as well as this random drawing of some forest with a big stone head lying in it are a couple of posts I wouldn't mind if more people saw so..... the links are there if ya wanna have a look 👀

3) Oh man, I've seen so many awesome artpieces this year, i can't guarantee that these are my actual top 3 picks, but here are some that I could remember liking (and that I also managed to find lol) (also these are in no particular order

This GIF was the first piece of RotTMNT fanart I ever reblogged and it's still glued to my mind it's just great honestly.

Man I do not like Timothy in the 2012 TMNT series at all but MAN do I love the way pinetreevillain adapted the character for the Rise universe! He's made quite a few comics of Rise!Timothy and he made the character so extremely likable I just hdsjhgjakfga also Pine's artstyle is delicous yummy yum go check out his art now!

I really like those reanimation projects where a bunch of people collaborate and reanimate induvidual segments in their own style, and there was recently one of those released that was a remake of The Clothes Don't Make The Turtle episode from season two of RotTMNT and it's great! Go and watch it here!

[sorormaior]

What were the other Primarchs (Dorn, Mortarion, Jaghatai, etc) thoughts of Cary?

I meant to answer this. Yesterday. OH WELL

So the main thing is that Cary is there to balance out Night Haunter. They are there so that when he’s like. I would like to start stabbing my brothers they slowly shake their head. They’re a Captain of no company but if asked they’d point at him and be like. I’m the captain of that.

So that being said: they moved through high command a lot, therefore they are known. Here are various opinions on The Captain.

LION EL’JONSON

I was actually going to put in that he once cracked their orbital socket backhanding them after they got a bit too sassy, but it never made the cut. He likely preferred having them around as it made Night Haunter easier to deal with. They’re efficient and that’s what matters.

FULGRIM

That’s his sweet baby! Fulgrim took one look at the two terrified children clinging onto each other and was like. Well I can’t not raise them. He’s a guy who raises people up, and Cary thinks about him often, misses him. They were close.

PERTURABO

My man Pert don’t like anyone much. I don’t think he’d have like, objections or problems with them but like: he wouldn’t care. They do their job and don’t get in his way.

JAGHATAI KHAN

Forgive my ignorance but I know. Little about him. However I don’t see that he would have had any problems with them, probably would have been happy to exchange a few words with them, nothing special.

LEMAN RUSS

Cary’s not allowed to drink with Space Wolves anymore. They still haven’t gotten the stains out of the rugs. He liked ‘em.

ROGAL DORN

In Carylore: Dorn grabbed ‘em to stop them interfering with the Emperor and Night Haunter’s first meeting. So his first impressions of them were of a ratty, underfed teenager who tried to punch him. His impressions have thankfully improved. They are now a ratty Astartes who does paperwork and can be trusted to reel Night Haunter in.

FERRUS MANUS

Doesn’t bother him, keeps communication efficient, once on the Bucephalus he walked past a bunch of Iron Hands cheering them on as they tried to lift weights. Was surprised they made it through augmentation, consistently surprised they’re still alive.

ANGRON

No thoughts head angry. Cary had more interaction with Khârn anyway.

MORTARION

Generally positive opinions, Cary doesn’t show outwardly as a psyker (the future visions could have been explained by geneseed anyway) and they’re polite. They have definitely tried to feed him before and showed some concern about his health without overstepping the mark. They were kind to him, and that’s what matters.

MAGNUS

Thinks they’re funny and one of the better members of the Eighth to talk to. Was once patronising to them at a legion social and Cary hasn’t quite forgotten or forgiven. He did look to them to be the voice of reason on occasion when having a discussion with Night Haunter

HORUS LUPERCAL

I think about Horus a lot as a guy who is like, running on charisma and social skills. I think he’d see Cary as a kindred spirit in that regard. Game recognises game etc etc.

LORGAR

Another one of the delegation of light crew. Pities them, something Cary would dislike him for if they knew. Thinks they’d make a good prophet.

VULKAN

He’s generally kind of disappointed by them, but how much of that is magnified by Cary’s own guilt is up for debate. They are both “good” people in bad positions, and Cary is desperately trying to keep an entire legion from falling to pieces. But Vulkan always made them feel like they should be doing more. Complex feelings on both sides.

ALPHARIUS OMEGON

Useful. Knows how to tailor a report. Knows how to act around different people. One to keep an eye on.

Didn’t include Night Haunter or the other two Weedsmoking Primarchs or Gman, but can do in another post/reblog if wanted :DD

Thank you for the question! This was fun to think about!!

[laugtherhyena]

What are some of you're favourite Sprite edits you've made Whether that be this year, or any over years you've been in the sprite editing business

Ok so I've made A LOT of edits over the years so it took a lil while for me to sort out the favorites and why exactly, but here it is so get ready for some rambling!

First things first i gotta say this isn't really organized from the one i like the most and least, i like all of these edits a whole lot and i really don't think i can pick one or two to be the favorite.

So let's start from the start (sorta) i have to give a spot to my Fantasy Au twins edits, it would be illegal to not put them in this list

The Sdra2 Fantasy Au was one of the first things i made in the fandom and i was attached to it for a long while. These are actually the 4th version of their sprites, out of all them only the 3rd had a full gallery of sprites and trust me they were complex since on top of posting i even made different tails and ears to move around depending on the emotion of the sprite.

Even tho i never finished this 4th take on them I'm pretty happy with the redesign (since as i grew older i realized some of my choices were questionable and i really should have thought more before just going with it, just keep in mind i was a dumb 14-15 year old then) and the improvement on graphical quality because not only does it show how much i improved in editing but also because editing the fantasy twins were my first really hard edits and i was always happy with how well i was able to translate their weird little designs to sprite form.

The Fantasy Au as a whole had a lot of edits with a bunch of complicated details that i never finshed and although I don't like them as much as the twins i do feel like they deserve to be shown somehere so have this pile of lizards, undead firemen and two human girls.

(fun fact; i didn't know how to add textures back then so see those scales on the dragons? I made them all by hand-)

Next one on the list has gotta be the Nijiue siblings! Crazy to think these guys are only 2-3 years old like it feels like they've been with me for ao much longer!

These guys where my first try at making Oc sprites since before all i did were Au stuff and they're very very dear to me, as you can probably guess by the amount of spites an different iterations i made of them over the years. While there are a few things i could improve upon them if i were to remake their edits nowadays, i never felt a strong need to do so because as it is their sprites hold up well imo so remaking them feels unnecessary to me.

And you know I can't really talk about them without mentioning the Voidswap Au and a couple tumblr blogs owned by friends of mine. After Voidswap's cancelation i didn't thought I'd ever use these guys for anything so to think that nowadays there's so many people who not only know these characters but care for them a lot out of seeing them in Asoot and Dfta more recently really fills me with joy! I'm glad y'all enjoy my silly siblings so much and obviously huge thanks to the mods for wanting to include them in their stories, I really couldn't be more thankful for that!

And since we're talking about the fam, let me add Mako to the list as an honorable mention of sorts, a i'm still very happy with how i made her adult designs especially the whole closed trenchcoat and open trenchcoat thing she has going on and how i was able to cary out the heart motif on both of them :]

This next one is one of my newer edits + a pretty simple one which is this Irl Sora design i made for mod Bubbles around early this year.

Honestly, I don't even know how to explain why i like it this much? Maybe it's because Sora is one of the characters from Sdra2 i still decently enjoy or because i had a fun time coming up with her design. I had in mind that i wanted something plain and simple just like her in-game one, just adapted to a more adult look. Rolled up sleeves to resemble her uniform's ones and a scarf to bring back the spark of red her old design had, i also gave her the short hair that post game Yuki has because it's still her body at the end of the day + i think butch-ish Sora looks pretty good :]

From simplicity we jump back into weirdness with these last ones because obviously i wouldn't leave my girls out of this list, what did you guys even expect?

Favoritism? Absolutely, by now I'm sure all of you know how much i like these two but focusing on the graphical side for once, I'm super proud of their designs, i think they fit with the weirdness of some of Linuj's design choices pretty well which in turn makes them look kinda legit? In my head at least. I also had a lot of fun working on their sprites, especially Beni's since it had been a long while since i last tried to really exaggerate expressions on sprites of my characters so that was really fun! + I'm super proud of the baby sprites i made of them too, almost as much as i like their standard/adult designs really.

[otakween]

Digimon Battle Spirit 2 - Final Thoughts

This game was so FUN!! I liked it a lot more than the first installment of Battle Spirit even though the games were very similar. They just added a bunch of little touches to this sequel that upped replayability big time. I still only beat it twice (and on easy mode teehee) but I can see myself revisiting this one in the future :)

Notes:

I'm glad Frontier got a couple video game tie-ins despite the fact that it wasn't very popular. I think the quality of this game actually improved my opinion on Frontier somewhat. The sprites were so charming and each character's attack style was so anime-faithful. Very immersive for fans of the show.

There were digimon I didn't recognize in this? Who the heck is this rainbow one? This isn't the kind of game where you get digimon names on screen, so I was just like -shrug-

This was my first time testing out RetroAchievements and I think it's really neat. Here is me getting an achievement for beating the Shooter game:

I've given up on 100%-ing games but I'll definitely continue to use this feature just for fun!

I loved the little animation I got when I unlocked Lowemon of him jumping onto the character select screen, that was awesome.

I played as Chackmon and Fairymon, my two fave Frontier digimon and they both had such distinct play styles. I think I liked Chackmon's attacks more (it was really fun to perform icicle lala and freeze people by turning into stalagmites) but Fairymon was good for defeating Cherubimon because she could jump (fly) really high.

Even though it would be very annoying, I kinda wish this game had voice lines. I was mentally shouting "Brezzo petalo!!" when playing as Fairymon lol

There's a hacky way to win by hanging out in corners and stun locking your opponent, but I tried not to overuse that. It would be good for getting really high scores if I cared about that.

Speaking of scores, the tamer tags are such a good addition to increase replayability. You can get different tags based on the difficulty you play at and your final score. I can't be bothered, but if I was a kid with ample free time, it would be fun to try to unlock them all.

The shooter mini game was so fun! It was basically Digimon billiards. Of course, it was a lot easier to beat with save states because I lost many times lol. Fairymon kept launching me off the side of the board. It was funny to see the NPCs sometimes accidentally slide out of bounds and the digivolution mechanic was clever. This is the kinda casual game I could see myself playing just to kill time (like pinball or solitaire).

This game had way fewer digimon to play as/unlock? They probably only wanted to include digimon with human forms (I guess they could have borrowed Tamers characters for that). I could see this being a downside for some, but I was relieved. I unlocked Lowemon and had all the digimon just like that ;)

Cherubimon was very similar to Millenniumon, seemingly really hard at first, but you just need to learn the pattern. It was a little tedious still though because you had to get every move right. Not a battle you can zone out to lol. All the animations during and after the fight were very well done.

[armenianwriterman]

If you were not previously aware, there is a My Hero Academia musical theater adaptation called the Ultra Stage. I've been watching videos of it and it is so good! I am obsessed with it and you should look it up yourself. As of right now there are four stage plays that cover the show's events up to the end of Deku vs Kacchan Part 2. Some highlights include:

A very talented cast of actors who really embody the characters and perfectly sell the songs and choreography. The big highlights for me are Ryota Kobayashi as Bakugo, Yume Takeuchi as Ochako, Raita as Shigaraki, and Yuki Okamoto as Present Mic.

Great costumes dedicated to faithfully recreating the looks from the show (seriously, Present Mic and Shigaraki looked like they stepped out of the screen and materialized into live action)

Some really dang good songs! My personal highlights for me are "All Might" (All Might's pretty catchy theme music that gets multiple reprisals), "All Might: Izuku and Shigaraki Version" (A specific reprisal I want to highlight that's an incredible duet that takes place during the mall scene), "Evil is Spreading" (A villain song by Dabi, Toga and Twice), and finally "I Want To Be a Hero" (the main theme that plays at every stage play).

Gran Torino has an entire song where he sings about frozen taiyaki using his cane as a guitar while All Might, Endeavor, Aizawa, Present Mic and Best Jeanist put on white suit jackets and serve as his back up singers. The whole thing is bonkers enough to deserve its own separate mention.

They use a ton of practical effects to recreate the Quirks in live action, such as ribbons for Tsuyu's tongue and Sero's tape, mini sparklers for Bakugo's explosions and Kaminari's electricity, and they even managed to recreate Shigaraki' disintegration power and I still don't fully understand how they did it.

The stage play is very funny. There's always someone in the ensemble doing something silly in the background, every single person hams it up like no tomorrow (except Aizawa naturally), and they have a ton of fun with the stage play medium.

The transformation between big and small All Might is to have one run on stage, stand in front of the other while matching his pose, and then take over while the first All Might runs off stage. It's super endearing.

Nezu in this play is a puppet they make the teachers carry around and interact with, and seeing it fills my heart with joy every single time.

During act breaks, they have Aizawa, Present Mic and Aoyama come on stage to entertain the audience with improv skits they do in character. They are ridiculous even compared to everything else that happens, and they need to be seen to be believed.

The fight scenes are very well choreographed and feel like actual combat.

Even in spite of all the goofy elements, they actually do take the story seriously and there are some really tense moments, most of which are Shigaraki's scenes.

There's a very funny detail at the end of the first play where every single actor comes on stage and does the "Go Beyond, Plus Ultra!", except Shigaraki, who just looks at them in annoyance

I know I mention Shigaraki specifically a lot in this list but the dude who plays him goes so hard in the role that I have to give him extra credit.

To portray Hagakure, they use a projector to create an invisible person wearing clothes and have Nazuka Kaori, her actual Japanese VA from the show, pre record a bunch of lines and play them on stage.

This one isn't really a "highlight" per say but they somehow made Midnight's outfit even hornier then canon and that's genuinely impressive tbh.

There's a scene of Tsuyu dancing around in tap shoes and it's so perfectly adorable.

The subtle character development of Todoroki slowly getting involved with the dancing and shenanigans as the plays go on are fantastic.

They don't always have all the kids in every play so instead they have items to represent the ones who aren't around, ie in the first three plays they have a smile pile of sugar cubes glued together and everyone calls it Sato while Kirishima carries it around everywhere.

There's one act break skit in particular that kills me where Aoyama and Twice try to fight for the audience's attention.

Kota punching Deku in the nuts is somehow just as funny in live action despite him obviously not actually punching him.

They made the doctor healing Izuku after the Muscular fight so funny for literally no reason and I'm so glad they did.

In this recording I watched, Aizawa got an actual leg cramp mid improv skit and his and Mic's struggle to stay in character was honestly gold.

They manage to make All for One, his big fight with All Might, and the United States of Smash just as badass as they were in the anime.

Koda's pet bunny in this version is portrayed as Bakugo in a bunny suit. That's a highlight in and of itself.

Bakugo throughout the Deku vs Kacchan Part 2 fight and the end of the final show of the fourth stage play looks like he's constantly on the verge of tears and it works so well.

In conclusion, this is so amazing, more people need to see it and I hope that they get to continue and adapt the rest of the series.

[maochira]

Hello! I've been obsessed with your platonic writings and I have an idea, feel free to ignore it!

What if you tell either bachira, reo, sae, and maybe shidou, that you're aromatic, but yet also a helpless romantic. And you're kinda just sad you have all these cute date ideas, but you feel like you can never experience it.

So they just decide to take you on a platonic date to prove you wrong.

I LOVE THIS ANON IT'S SO CUTE AAHHH THANK YOU😭😭 I'm not aro but I'm a lesbian who's VERY platonically in love with Zantetsu so I'm gonna add him,, added Tokimitsu as well!!

Requests open! - current writing event - masterlist

Characters: Bachira, Reo, Sae, Shidou, Zantetsu, Tokimitsu

Tags: aromantic!best friend!reader, platonic dates, fluff

A/N: Writing these scenarios made me giggle kick my feet doing muffled screams smiling to myself SO SO MUCH

Bachira - Ikea date!

Bachira really wants you to feel loved and wants to make you feel special. He knows how much you'd love to experience all these cute scenarios you always talk about, but none of them ever sounded like something he could put his entire heart into. What mostly stuck in his mind were the domestic scenarios you imagined sometimes. and it gave him an idea. Bachira wants to surprise you, so he pretends he needs to get a new desk and wants your help to choose. Of course, you agree and go along. While you walk through Ikea, Bachira makes you sit down in one of those presentation rooms and starts acting out a scenario you once described to him, in oddly specific detail. It confuses you at first, but you play along and it ends up being a lot of fun. You do that in many more of the rooms, and even if it's silly and childish, knowing Bachira always paid so much attention to what you talked about makes you feel so loved. And even if it's just playing pretend, acting out some of your imagines scenarios makes you very happy.

Reo - shopping date!

When Reo notices you're having a particularly rough day, beating yourself up about how you'll never be able to experience all the cute things in your head more than usual, he decides to take you on a shopping date after school. And from the beginning, he calls it a platonic date. It confuses you a bit, since you've never heard of that before, but to avoid the rest of your day going downhill, you agree to his offer. Reo makes it very clear that he wants to spoil you by buying things that will bring you joy. At first, you hold back a little, but Reo keeps encouraging you to choose more. But because you don't want him to go out without anything for himself, you choose a bunch of matching things you can share with him. After that day, you never see Reo without the matching bracelet on his wrist.

Sae - cat cafe date!

Sae wants to prove to you, that you don't need the romantic aspect to feel so loved. And he's very serious about it. He wants to prove it to you with something special that you will definitely keep in mind for a while. He knows he wants it to be something typical like eating somewhere together, but he always thought there was something missing. It was a coincidence when he found out about the cat cafe in the next city, but he immediately knew it's where he'll be taking you. From the moment he invited you, to the moment you sit down in the cafe, you notice how serious Sae is about this. But the cute cats walking around, asking for his attention make him break the serious facade a little. Sae still acts like he usually does around you, but it's obvious how he puts more effort into making you feel loved by being more affectionate with his words. In the end, you not only feel happy from the cat lying and purring on your lap, but you also feel very loved by your best friend Sae. He definitely proved his point.

Shidou - concert date!

Shidou has never been good at comforting or giving advice, but he's always been there to listen to whatever is on your mind. Usually, he tries to lighten your mood with jokes, but he knows that won't improve anything in the long run. When Shidou finds out your favourite band is playing at a festival nearby soon, he immediately buys tickets so he can take you there. You're surprised by this and insist on paying him back, but he doesn't let you and explains it's his job to pay because he's the one taking you on a platonic date. This surprises you even more, since it's something you wouldn't have expected from someone like Shidou. You're overjoyed and thank him over and over. Both of you look forward to the concert, and it ends up being one of the most fun experiences you've ever had. During your favourite song, Shidou even gets on his knee and pretends to propose to you, which makes you laugh a lot.

(A/N: that last part is based on a thing my friends did at a concert we went to recently, hehe)

Zantetsu - late-night picnic date!

Zantetsu didn't plan to make it a late-night date. His original plan was to surprise you and take you to your favourite spot in the nearby park and watch the sunset together. But he forgot the time and arrived at your place when the sun was already completely set. Still, you're surprised to see him on your doorstep at such a late hour, especially because he's dressed so nicely. Zantetsu is extremely serious about this, that's why he even put on a suit. Zantetsu awkwardly explains his (new) plan to grab some food and drinks at a convenience store and do a late-night picnic in the park. Of course, you agree to it and get dressed in something nice as quickly as possible. You and Zantetsu have so much fun, you end up spending the entire night until sunrise in the early morning together. Sharing that sight with your best friend is a memory that always makes you smile when it crosses your mind.

Tokimitsu - boba date!

Tokimitsu has always hated to see you so sad over how you feel like you're missing out on something. And as your best friend, he definitely wants to let you experience at least a fraction of the thing you've told him about. Usually, Tokimitsu likes to plan things days ahead, so he can make sure nothing goes wrong. But when you ask him to get boba after school, the words "How about we make it a date?" shortly followed by a panicked "a platonic one, of course", slip out of his mouth. Tokimitsu immediately starts apologizing, thinking he crossed a line, but you tell him it's okay and you'd love to make it a platonic date. Tokimitsu always treats you very gently and is careful with you, but that seems to double during your boba date. He also makes sure to remind you to chew the tapioca/bite the popping boba properly, as he's afraid you'll choke on it. It's a bit cliche, but the cliche is what Tokimitsu wants to have you experience, so you share one drink with two straws. Even though there's nothing romantic about it, spending this time with Tokimitsu makes you feel very happy and loved.

[mixelation]

wait okay notes to self on the Political Situation in reborn au ->

for plasticity/reborn au (and i sort of just like this headcanon in general), oto as a village is 100% an orochimaru project, BUT there are native ninja families to the country (which is where the Oto team we see in the chunin exams come from). none of those families took "sides" in the third ninja war but they still had to deal with a lot of spillover fighting on their land-- ninja cutting off routes through the country, burning down villages at strategic locations, shit like that. a lot of scuffles with oto clans trying to push foreign ninja out of their territory because that's THEIR LAND and then it not going super well because they'e individual families vs whole villages that can just send more ninja if they think occupying that land is a good idea

so towards the end of the war orochimaru swoops in with a bunch desperately needed supplies and is like: aren't you TIRED of being tiny and weak? you know what would really help you-- and he unites the clans in his own village. he's been REAL good at buttering up clan leaderships and also investing in improved training and playing at being respectful of old traditions so everyone's on board with him being leader.

once he has his village, orochimaru immediately starts pushing out older ninja-- they go missing or weird shit happens to discredit them, etc. he also starts bringing in interesting wayward youth (and the occasional disenfranchised adult) from across the continent, which is why oto morphs from something that looks like a cohesive "new" village with themed sound-based attacks in part 1 to a series of hideouts filled with teenagers with weird powers in part 2.

so tori is around for the unification and it actually benefits her a lot because she's able to leverage it to get actual ninja training. it's a delicate game of getting enough attention from orochimaru to get what she wants but not SO much attention that he decides to poke at her, but she has the significant advantage of being mentally an adult. she's not actually a doe-eyed eight year old orphan who's desperate or love-- she's a fully actualized adult who doesn't need his approval or attention the way he tries to twist all his followers.

anyway, the fun of reborn au is that this is late-game plasticity tori who's fully come into herself as "not a ninja, still a monster" so i want her to have a lot more agency than she does at the start of plasticity. so she plays the ninja training game but at some point she's like: well, i should just nip this whole oto thing in the bud. and so she flees but in a way that really cuts the whole thing off at the knees and makes it dissolve early [DETAILS DEPENDING]. early reborn au tori isn't used to thinking like a ninja so she avoid combat-oriented solutions, but she's very effective at causing chaos in new and unexpected ways

(orochimaru is deeply annoyed but after he mellows out i think he'd be like: you know what. respect)

ANYWAY, I generally use the narutopedia map for geography (although sometimes i ALSO use made-up small countries not on there so don't treat it like a bible), so. grass borders sound to the west (and rain borders grass to the west). in plasticity, i said that grass did better in the war than rain because they were able to ally with larger nations early on. so. ~5 year post-war, grass isn't totally wrecked but their neighbor sound definitely IS and grass's take-away is that they're also basically at the mercy of bigger nations, and so they're interested in making themselves stronger, and fast. and their neighbor just? imploded? and now there's all these new science experiments running around and up for grabs? grass is like: YOINK OURS NOW

(konoha is like: hey what the fuck is happening? which is why kakashi's team was sneaking round)

unfortunately for grass they've gotten kind of cocky in their invasion of their neighbor and have underestimated the weird ass shit show going on in rain. i need to rotate the timeline of the ame trio/third war stuff some to know what nagato-konan were up to (i think i'm going to make them very focused on just rain so major events in other countries are still mostly the same, bc otherwise it's a nightmare to plan), but basically i think the winning nagato-konan strategy is that they would just unilateral make themselves leaders of the ninja village AND the country. so the outcome is yahiko has been put in charge of the country to distract him so nagato-konan can do unhinged ninja stuff. also yahiko might be the one non-reincarnated person who knows bc i think that would be Funny

(everyone: you just? TOLD someone? immediately?? nagato-konan: um, yes?)

anyway, long story short, grass has been kidnapping wayward ninja for Experiments and fucked up by grabbing a handful of ame citizens. so shortly after the tori-kakashi-deidara escape, konan show up and is like: hi. :) what the fuck. :)

i haven't decided how extreme ame's movement against kusa would be yet, but i DID decide karin & her mom end up in rain as a result. is this fix-it fic enough for u