#steve rogers gfanfic

[iwillbeinmynest]

Pain - Steve x Reader(f)

Authors notes: So, I found these prompts and this is what came of it lol. sorry, not sorry. (You know I live to write angst)

Prompts: “No, you can’t sleep yet!” “I need you to open your eyes. Can you do that for me?” “Just stay awake a little longer, okay?”

Word count: 950

Notes/Warnings: ANGST, mentions of blood and death, crying also I tried to throw in a little fluff but idk how much it will help lol

 Also, because im short on time I did not sped a ton of time proof reading it… sooo, there will be errors, sorry. 

  Pain isn’t new to me; I’ve been feeling it all my life. What is new, is the sensation of the need to let it consume me. The need to to walk into the waves and never look back.

“No, no, no, no! Come on, please!” Steve rushed to where you were sprawled on the ground and dropped to his knees, dust pluming into the air.

His hands hovered over your body, fingers splayed wide, as he assessed the damage and tried to decide how to help you. You had been shot and, what was worse, you had been shot taking a bullet meant for him. He finally found the wound only to realize how close to your heart it had come. He ripped the bottom of your shirt off and balled up the fabric to press at the top of your ribs.

“Stop bleeding, stop bleeding, stop bleeding.” He chanted to himself. He pushed a little harder, after seeing a small stream of blood trickle down your shoulder, and you winced. Your eyes fluttered open and he reached a bloodied hand behind your head.

“Hey!” His eyes were wide and desperate. “Hey, just be still, okay? Help is on the way.” Steve paused and shook his head. “I shouldn’t be saying that to you, you’re an Avenger. Come on, Sweetheart,” He cooed. “Walk it off.”

You managed a weak smile. “Sorry.”

“No, no, don’t be sorry.” Steve’s eyes were wet but the tears didn’t break. “I should have been paying better attention.”

You shook your head. “You were a little pre-occupied.” Your eyes drifted closed and you let out a short breath. “I’m so tired, Steve.”

“No. Come on, now. Hey.” Steve gave your head a light shake. “I need you to keep your eyes open. Can you do that for me?”

You nodded and pried your lids apart.

“Talk to me. Tell me anything, I need you to talk to me.” Steve pressed harder into your wound. The cloth he had ripped from your shirt was already soaked through.

“Okay.” Your voice was tired and weak but a small smile stretched across your face. “This one time…about a year ago,”

“Good.” He encouraged as he checked his surroundings. The fight was over but he couldn’t shake the habit. “That’s good keep going.”

“I saw this super hot blonde guy in a coffee shop before my first day at a new job.” You took a struggled breath. “I was feeling pretty good about myself so I slipped him my number. Turns out, he was my new boss.”

Steve cracked a smile. “Oh, yeah?”

You nodded slowly and your eyes fell closed.

Steve shook you again. “Hey, open your eyes. Tell me about this hot blonde.”

You opened your eyes and tried to focus.

“He was your boss?” Steve prompted. The worry in his voice was heavy and his brows pulled together.

“Mhm. Super hot but, super clueless when it came to women. No matter…” Deep breath. “How much I flirted with him, he didn’t seem to get the hint.”

“What happened next?” Steve’s eyes were flooded with tears.

“I had to spell it out for him. Pushed him against a wall and kissed him.” Your eyes fell shut again. “You shoulda seen the look on his face. Worked out though, he took me to dinner that night. A nice place too, probably pretty expensive.”

“Well, he’s the boss right? It’s only fair to take his best girl out to a nice dinner.”

“Oh, he did.” You said slowly.

“Just stay awake a little longer, okay?” Steve cupped your face and ran his thumb over your cheek.

You forced your eyes open, again. It was getting harder.

“Nat!” Steve shouted into his com. “Where are you? I need to get her out of here, now!”

“Anyways,” You went on. “We started dating after that and pretty soon, I fell in love with him.”

Steve stopped and looked at you, his tears running freely down his dirt stained face. “He sounds like one lucky guy.”

“Yeah.” You reached up and grabbed the wrist of the hand he cupped your jaw with. “But I’m luckier.” Your words came like molasses, slow and thick.

“(Y/N), please, hold on.” Steve begged. “Nat said that she and Clint are on their way in the jet. Just a few more minutes.”

“I’m so tired.” You blinked slowly and sighed. “I just need a second to rest.”

“No, I’m sorry. You can’t do that.” Steve sniffed and wiped his tears with his shoulder, never taking his hands off of you. “Are you hurting anywhere else?”

“I’m not hurting anywhere.” As you exhaled, your eyes fell shut again and you knew there would be no opening them for a while.

“No! You can’t sleep yet!” Steve shouted.

“I love you, Steve.” You whispered, your voice barely audible.

“I love you, too, (Y/N). So much. Please open your eyes.” Steve was pushing so hard on the wound that he was pretty sure he’d cracked one or two of your ribs.

Your grip on his wrist loosened and your whole body relaxed.

You didn’t hear Steve tell you how much he needed you. You didn’t hear him screaming and cursing. You didn’t feel him shaking you in an attempt to wake you up. You didn’t feel the tears that landed on your face; tears that mixed with yours.

It felt like years passed before your eyes opened again but, when they did, you were met with a familiar blue gaze.

“Hey, beautiful, “Steve smiled. “It’s been a few days. Where ya been? I owe my best girl a fancy dinner.”

  I wanted to quit; to give into the pain and let it drown me. But, I had something to fight for.

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