#steve murphy mentioned

[elizaleclerc]

epiphany 📠 ⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩

"just one single glimpse of relief / to make some sense of what you've seen"

summary: fem!reader and javier deal with the aftermath of a traumatic mission

song: epiphany by taylor swift

word count: 2.6k

author's note: first javi fic yippie. hella angst / nightmare trope / mentions of death / hurt/comfort / 18+ but no smut just fluff / established relationship / DEA agent reader / translated spanish

The car ride back to your apartment was suffocatingly quiet, the weight of grief hanging heavily in the air. The familiar streets flew by as Javier drove, but you couldn't focus on anything other than the images burned into your mind. As a DEA agent for over a year, you had seen your fair share of horrors, but never before had you witnessed something so gruesome right in front of you. It was easier to read about these things in paperwork, detached and removed from the reality of it all. But now, the memory of it all was haunting and raw, replaying in vivid detail with every passing second.

Your head felt numb, as if a thick fog had settled over your thoughts. Your whole body felt heavy and weighed down, as if invisible chains were holding you back. The sensation in your stomach was nauseating, like being on a rollercoaster that never seemed to end. Even though you wanted to vomit, you knew it would be futile - your body was too weak to even try. Even Javier, known for his stoic demeanor and ability to handle tough missions, was uncharacteristically quiet. The only sound filling the car was the low muttering of the engine. Not even the radio provided any source of distraction or comfort in this tense moment.

Javier expertly parked the car in the driveway of your shared apartment, the smooth engine purring to a stop. The dim yellow glow of the streetlights illuminated his face as he turned to you, concern etched into his features. But you didn't move to get out of the car, your gaze fixed on something far off and unreachable. Javier's gentle touch on your hand jolted you back to reality. "Hey," he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper, "let's get inside where it's warm." His words were like a lifeline, pulling you out of the depths of your thoughts. He understood the weight that was pressing down on you - he was carrying it too.

You nodded, and languidly pushed the car door open and scooted out of the passenger seat. Your legs felt like noodles, weak and wobbly from the energy you exerted on today’s mission. Javier put his arm around you, his thumb delicately circling the top of your shoulder.

Javier's keys jingled in the lock as he turned the handle of the front door, and the familiar scent of the apartment enveloped you like a warm embrace. After hours of feeling disoriented and disconnected since returning from the mission, this was the first sense of comfort that washed over you. The office had been a blur, with memories of sitting at your desk attempting to file paperwork but unable to even type on the typewriter. But now, as you lazily walked into the apartment, everything slowly started to feel real again. Javier set his keys down on the sleek kitchen island, and you followed him aimlessly, your mind finally starting to settle from its chaotic state.

“I’m gonna assume you aren’t hungry?” He asked, his voice still soft. You shook your head no. He nodded, “What do you need?”

As you lifted your gaze to meet his, you couldn't help but notice the deep brown pools of concern gazing back at you. But beneath that concern, you could see a deeper turmoil brewing - the weight of today's mission and countless others weighing heavily on his shoulders. "I don't know," you croaked, your voice hoarse from screaming and covered in dust. You weren't even sure if Javier could hear you over the ringing in your ears. Tears welled up in your eyes as flashes of today's horrors replayed in your mind like a never-ending nightmare.

“Listen, you have to talk about what happened today,” he said urgently. In his experience, keeping everything bottled up inside only made things worse. He leaned across the counter, his elbows propping him up as he reached out to hold your hand in his. His touch was warm and comforting. “Tell me, cariño, what's going through your mind right now?” His dark eyes searched yours with concern and empathy as he waited for you to open up to him.

More images flashed through your head. Your throat burned trying to hold back more tears. “I should’ve done more to save them…”

He sighed, “Mi amor, you can’t think that way. You and I both know we did our very best today. The ‘what ifs’ will only haunt you if you let them.” Javier’s voice was persistent yet comforting. This wasn’t his first rodeo, so you knew he was probably telling the truth.

“How do we go to work tomorrow like nothing happened?” Your voice cracked out, and Javier squeezed your hands.

“Everyone in that office apart from the damn secretaries have experienced days like this. They know what we’re going through. We take as much time as we need to get back into the swing of things, and we persist. That’s all we can do, querida.”

You stood in silence, the words caught in your throat as Javier moved around the spacious apartment. The soft glow of golden lights flickered against the dark walls, casting shadows across his face. He poured two glasses of whiskey from a crystal decanter, the sound of clinking ice cubes filling the room. He slid one glass towards you and you reached out to take it, feeling the coolness of the glass against your fingertips. You brought it to your lips and took a slow sip, letting the warm liquid spread through your body and soothe your racing thoughts. In the background, Javier shuffled around the living room before the smooth melody of an oldies music vinyl began to fill the air.

As you made your way into the room, the smell of Javier's cologne mixed with the remnants of cigarette smoke enveloped your senses. You could feel his warmth radiating from the couch as he sat there, whiskey glass in hand, waiting for you. As you slouched down beside him, your body immediately relaxed, finding solace in his comforting presence and scent. The tension in your muscles began to melt away, and silent tears escaped your eyes once again. The weight of the day's events was finally settling in, and you were now more aware of your memories and surroundings than ever before. With each passing moment, you were forced to confront the aftermath of the mission and all that it entailed.

You sniffled as Javier scooted you closer to him. You laid your head down next to his chest and he caressed the side of your arm. “I know, I know.” He whispered as your tears wet his shirt underneath you.

He wasn’t just saying that to comfort you, he really did know. His own memories of tough missions flashed through his head. He remembered when he witnessed his first death on the job. He knew the feelings of regret and guilt that now lingered inside of you. He had gotten better at coping with the aftermath and trauma of missions, but that’s one thing that the DEA doesn’t teach you.

Once most of your tears had subsided, your mind was back to feeling blank. However, you recognized the song that was now playing from the record player. It was a soft oldies song that you and Javier once slow danced to. You thought it was cheesy at the time, but Javier convinced you to dance with him. He could persuade you to do just about anything.

Javier shifted and got up from the couch, your body sinking into the cushions slightly with his absence. You looked at him curiously as he held out his hand, “Dance with me, amor.”

You almost huffed out a laugh, but couldn’t muster up the energy. “Really, now?” He simply nodded in response. You sighed, and slowly got up from the couch.

You moved closer to him, relishing the warmth and strength of his embrace. His arms encircled your waist, pulling you in close as his fingers traced gentle patterns on your back. You closed your eyes, sinking into the feeling of being held by someone who loved you. In the background, the soft melodies of the song played, transporting you to a distant memory. It was the first time you had heard this song, dancing with Javier in this very apartment. The room was filled with cardboard boxes waiting to be unpacked, but Javier was too eager to set up his treasured record player. A fond smile graced your lips as you swayed together, lost in each other's presence.

“Te quiero mucho (I love you so much)” Javier muttered as he placed a kiss at the top of your head. His hands slowly moved up your arms, holding you tightly to him. It was as if he was so worried he could’ve lost you today that he didn’t want to ever let go of you.

“I love you too Javi,” You rested your head onto his chest. You were finally feeling a sense of peace, a sense that you could go on tomorrow and be almost okay.

“Cmon, let’s call it a night.” Javier sighed and you looked up at him and into his brown puppy eyes that held so much love for you. His lips placed a soft kiss onto yours. A kiss that wasn’t meant to lead to anything else. A kiss that stated he was here, just for you to love.

As the minutes ticked by, you both showered and changed into fresh, cozy clothes. Finally, you found yourselves snuggled up together in bed, with Javier's strong arms wrapped around you from behind. His soft lips pressed against your neck and shoulder, leaving a trail of gentle kisses that sent shivers down your spine. The soothing tempo of his breathing next to yours was like a lullaby, easing you into a peaceful slumber.

That was when the nightmare started. You were back inside the shabby house from earlier. Windows were broken and wooden boards were rotted. You couldn’t believe that anyone actually lived there. You held your gun down tightly by your thigh, just the way that Carillo had taught you. Javier was leading in front of you, and Steve was following behind you.

You heard a glass shatter from upstairs and immediately turned your head towards Javier and Steve, knowing looks shared between the three of you. Your mind seemed to fast forward this awful dream. There were three small children being held as hostages, and two men who the DEA had been trying to track down for months. You had your gun pointed at one of the men, Javier and Steve pointing theirs at the second man. Steve was trying to reason with them, but this was an impossible scenario. Your mind was racing but also laser focused. How could you get them to surrender to the DEA and also let the children go? From what you could tell these children were just pulled off the street, their innocent souls only being used as collateral for a scheming drug cartel.

Before you knew it, guns were firing and you lunged back behind a piece of furniture. You heard the voices of Steve and Javier yelling and trying to fight the men, but it was too late. You stood up and scanned the room, your eyes shifting from Javier to Steve, who were trying to catch their breath, then to the three small bodies lying on the ground.

Your own blood-curdling scream tore through the silence, jolting you awake. In an instant, Javier's strong arms enveloped your trembling body, soothing and comforting you in his warm embrace. Your chest heaved with ragged breaths and tears streamed down your cheeks as you struggled to regain control of your emotions. "Shh, it's okay, I'm here, you're safe," Javier murmured tenderly, gently stroking your hair and rubbing your back. Gradually, your breathing slowed and your heart rate returned to normal as the nightmare faded away. But the fear lingered, a palpable presence in the air. It took several minutes before you could calm yourself enough to speak.

You sat up and put your head in your hands. Javier rubbed your lower back as he sat up with you. “Do you want to talk about it?” He asked, and you thought for a moment.

With teary eyes you looked over at him. “They were just kids, Javi. They didn’t do anything wrong.” Your throat burned and more tears fell. Javier pulled you into him so that your head laid on his chest.

“I know. We are gonna do everything we can to get the bastards who took those kids from their families.” He massaged the side of your arm.

“Javi…” You whispered slowly and moved away to look him in the eyes. You grabbed his hand, running your fingers lightly across his knuckes. “You always talk about raising a family. I always loved imagining a bunch of little Javis running around,” a smile tugged at your lips but disappeared in an instant, “but after today…” Your voice trailed off but Javier was waiting for you to continue. His sad eyes were locked onto your face as you stared at his hands in yours. “I want a family, I really do. But I just think about those kids today. What if those were our kids. Kids who just wanted to play out on the street, and now…”

“Oh angel,” His voice was raspy and you looked up to see tears in his own eyes. “I love you so much, and I know your pain, because it’s mine too. Not a day goes by that I don’t worry about our future, about our family. When we get to that point, where we’re ready to settle down, I’ll take an office job. I won’t care what I’ll do at that point. We’ll move anywhere we want, as long as I have you, and any little ones we bring along.” He smiled lightly as his hand came to rest on your jaw. His words brought tears to your eyes. You didn’t realize how much Javier thought about the future between the two of you. He had a plan for every scenario; he would quit his job tomorrow if it meant having you by his side.

“I love you Javi,” You whispered and planted a small kiss to his cheek.

“Eres mi vida (You are my life), I don’t know what I’d do without you.” He moved his hand down to the back of your neck, pulling you in for a soft kiss. It was so gentle, like he knew how fragile you still felt. His lips felt like the softest silk and the warmest blanket. “Let’s get you back to sleep now.”

“I’m sorry- for waking you up,” You apologized as you laid back down on your pillow. Javier laid facing you, his arms shifting you closer.

“You didn’t wake me. I remember my first nightmare from a mission. I wanted to be awake to help you through yours.” He explained in a low, tired voice. He sacrificed his own sleep just so he could console you when yours was interrupted.

“Oh,” you muttered. You wrapped an arm around his torso. God, you thought, you would be totally lost without him.

You saw Javier smiling to himself, “You’re stronger than you think querida.”

You just shook your head, “I don’t know that I did to deserve you Javi…”

His hand lightly massaged the side of your hip, “You’ve got the purest heart of anyone I’ve ever met, cariño.” He kissed the top of your head, and before you knew it your eyelids felt heavy and you were pulled into sleep again.

Javier sighed to himself, “Dulces sueños mi amor. (Sweet dreams my love.)”

[amyispxnk]

Mi Niña Hermosa

Masterlist

Summary - Javier gets you pregnant, but then he gets scared, leaving you to raise your little girl all alone. One day, he sees you working at a brothel to try and make ends meet, and realises what he needs to do.

A/N: for this ask! i hope you like it pookie<3 also please excuse any bad spanish! i tried my best with it but it might not be 100% accurate.

Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader

Word count: 2k

Warnings: mentions of sex work and sex, violence, language, pregnancy/children, arguing, brief suicidal ideation, hurt+comfort, angst, men being men

DO NOT COPY THIS FIC IN ANY WAY PLS AND TY.

“Shh, shh, Carmen, mi amor. Está bien,” you plead with your baby daughter. She’s been up for the past hour because of yet another explosion a few blocks away. You think it was a car bomb this time, but does it really matter? All you know for sure is that Carmen is not going to let you sleep through the night because of it.

She’s almost 12 months old now, which means it's been almost 2 years since you last saw Javi. You hate yourself for it, but sometimes you look at your little girl and feel bitter. It’s not her fault, but she was the reason that Javi finally said goodbye to you.

You both knew it was a long time coming, but when you showed him a positive pregnancy test that night, you yelled at each other until your throats were raw and all your tears had been cried, before he slammed the door in your face and left you there. It was the final time you saw him.

Because of Carmen’s deadbeat father, you ended up in a brothel. It was one of the hardest decisions of your life, but you knew you had to do it for her.

“¡Muy bien chicas, salgan y ganen algo de dinero!” You want to jump out of this building, is your first thought. Crash all the way to the floor and forfeit this terrible life you’ve been ‘blessed with’. But you can’t. So you hold your head high, plaster on a smile, and walk out into the lobby of the brothel.

Your smile drops when you see him.

Of all the fucking brothels to go to, he chooses this one? The one you just so happened to start working at a week prior? That tenth-storey window looks even more tempting right now, especially when he locks eyes with you.

He’s with a man, blonde hair, blue eyes. You think that man’s name is Steve Murphy. Yes, you’ve seen them on the news. Who the fuck hasn’t? It just makes you even more frustrated. He left you and Carmen behind so that he could hunt down Pablo Escobar. He abandoned the two of you for fame.

Javi’s eyes dart back and forth between you and Steve, before he starts making his way towards you.

Hell to the fucking no. You turn on your heel and almost drag a man you noticed was ogling you for the past 5 minutes into one of the rooms, letting the curtains close behind you, separating you from Javi.

The time you share with that man is no different than any of the other men you’ve been with, all uncomfortable and gross for you, mind-blowingly good for him.

Sometimes you still think of Javi when you feel a man on top of you. He was the best you had, after all.

Outside, Javi curses loudly, drawing the eye of a few people and his partner.

“What the fuck was that, Javi? We’re here to question the girl, not chase after this random. Your dry spell that bad?” Steve laughs, clapping him on the back. Javi quickly shrugs him off, jaw clenched and gaze hollow.

“I know her.” He mutters. Yes, he knows you. He knows every part of you. Your smile, which he only saw on a rare occasion. Your eyes, which could always pierce him, see straight through his soul and see the worst parts of him. Your body, which you now sell because of him.

Steve is still yapping on about something or other whilst the storm inside of Javi swirls, growing and growing. You’re behind that curtain, selling your body. He knows why you’re doing it too, and it makes him feel even worse. He feels like he’s about to pass out as it all hits him at once.

What a piece of shit he’s been.

You don’t deserve this life. You deserve to be happy, supported and protected by someone, anyone who can help you. Not Javi though. He’s not fit to be a father. After what he’s seen, what he’s done, he could never care for something as precious as your baby.

But he knows what men are like. Knows that, somehow, he’s one of the better men in this country. It’s not a high bar to pass, this he knows too, but he figures that it must be why you have to work here to provide for yourself and his child. Fuck. He doesn’t even know the gender, the name. He wasn’t there for you at all, and he should have been.

It feels like there’s no going back though. How could he ever apologise enough or make it up to you? What he’s done is irreversible. Just from the way you reacted when you saw him now, it feels like it’ll be impossible to try to apologise to you.

He thinks of his father, his mother. How disappointed would they be? They probably already were, but with this? Abandoning a girl with a child he gave her?

They would surely disown him.

He feels like he’s been ungrateful too. After being raised by two loving and caring parents, how could he leave his own child without one? And with a life like this?

He runs a hand down his face, telling Steve to shut up. A loud shout from the man behind the curtain, surely finishing without giving you a moment of pleasure. He knows what you sound like when the sex is good. You barely made a peep in these past 5 minutes.

The man walks out, commenting on ‘how good that slut was’ as he walks past Javi and Steve, and it takes everything in him not to punch him square in the face there and then.

“I need to talk to her, Steve. 5 minutes.” Javi decides suddenly. He can’t let this go on.

“You better not be fucking on the job, Javi.”

He grunts in response, entering the room and letting the curtains slide closed behind him.

The entire world goes still, silent just for the two of you. Almost 2 years have gone by, and this is how you meet. The shame almost swallows him whole.

“I’m so sorry.” He says, before you can even register what’s happening, because he knows you’ll be ready to kick and scream to get him away from you when you do.

Unsurprisingly, your eyes well with tears, and your face twists into one of disgust.

“Why the fuck are you here.” You spit, holding your robe tighter around yourself.

“We were here for a job, and-”

“Do you think I actually care? You fucked off two years ago, I don’t want to see you back here now. Whatever it is you want, I don’t care.” You interrupt. Yes, this was going to be as difficult as he thought.

“Baby, please just-”

“Don’t fucking call me that! You don’t get to call me that!” You shout. He’s on borrowed time before somebody comes and escorts him out of here.

“Just listen to me, please. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He pleads, desperate for you to listen. He doesn’t know how to get his message across to you.

Your tears burst forth, fat droplets cascading down your skin as you turn away from him.

“Go away, Javier. I don’t want to see your face ever again. I see it in her everyday and it already haunts me enough.”

His baby is a girl.

“I’m here to talk about her. I… I want to help. I’m so sorry for leaving. I got scared. I thought- I wasn’t ready to take care of something as precious as a baby… I thought you would get hurt if it was discovered that a DEA agent like myself had a child.”

“Yeah. Agente de la DEA, Javier fucking Peña,” you scoff, “who abandoned his child in pursuit of fame. To catch a bad guy. Some fucking hero you think you are.”

He can’t get angry with you. He won’t. However wrong you are about what you just said. He won’t do it.

“I don’t want fame.” He grits out. How much of an asshole is he that you thought he would leave you for fame? “I’m trying to help this country. It was dangerous enough for me to see you regularly, you know this. If I was seen with a woman and a child, they wouldn’t waste a second trying to kill you both. I couldn’t let that happen to you. I care about you. Please understand, baby.” He begs you again, hand carefully reaching for your shoulder and turning you to face him. You’re still sniffling, silent tears falling down your cheeks as you refuse to meet his gaze.

“Mírame.” He whispers, cupping your jaw and tilting your head up so he can see your eyes.

“Please, I’m sorry.” He says. He’ll say it thousands, millions of times, it still won’t be enough, but he can see that you’re starting to understand.

“It’s been 2 years. I had to be pregnant and raise her all by myself. Not once did you check on me.”

“I was scared. I was being a coward, I know. I… I won’t be surprised if you tell me to leave again, but let me help pay for her. I don’t want you working here. It’s dangerous.” He murmurs, eyes shining with emotion as he looks into yours.

You shake your head, and he gets ready to argue about it, but you pull him closer, squeezing the air out of him and shaking with sobs again.

“I’ve needed you for so long. I- I don’t know how I managed this long. I need you, Javi.” You choke out, his heart shattering with every word until it’s laid out on the floor for you.

“I know. I’m sorry, baby, I’m so sorry.” He soothes, running his hand through your hair.

Over the next month, he helps you leave the brothel, gives you some money to get on your feet. You still live apart, despite his protests that you’d be safer living with him, you’re not ready yet.

Today you figure will be the decider of that. He’s going to meet Carmen.

You rub your eyes as the morning sun hits you, rousing you from your sleep. The clock reads 9:37. Just over 20 minutes until your daughter finally meets her father.

The 20 minutes are spent waking and feeding her, before a knock on the door stops you.

You exhale shakily and walk to the door, opening it slowly.

“Hola, Javi.” You say softly. He greets you, equally timid. You notice he’s holding a little teddy bear in his hands, almost making you laugh at how it looks being held by this big brooding man, but you just shake your head.

“Come and meet her.” You murmur, opening the door further so he can step inside.

There, messing around on your bed, is the most beautiful little girl he’s ever seen. He can definitely see his features on her face. The lips, the eyes. She got your nose, thankfully he thinks, and her hair is a unique blend of yours and Javi’s.

“She’s so beautiful.” He whispers, and you just nod, still unsure of your feelings for him right now.

“Carmen, baby, say hello.” You coo, picking her up and bringing her over to Javi. He’s quiet, scared, as always. But then she babbles at him, clapping her hands together and trying to reach for him. The teddy. He almost forgot about it.

“Hola pequeña, soy tu papá. ¿Quieres el peluche?” He says softly, waving it around a bit before handing it to her and letting her play. You and Javi talk for a bit while she sits on the bed, but then something happens. She gets tired, which is normal around 2pm, but instead of crawling to you, she goes to Javi. Carmen wraps her little fingers around one of his larger ones, curling up in his lap. The two of you still, and it shocks you to see tears appearing in his eyes as he strokes her hair, letting her sleep on him.

You decide to move in with him that night, realising that you don’t want him to be away from you and Carmen ever again.

TYSM for reading, I hope you enjoyed! Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated! 💞

[greenwitchfromthewoods]

you in my eyes [4] l Javier Peña

Summary:  you weren't friends and you certainly weren't planning anything more together

Warnings:  angst, enemies (?) to lovers, misogyny and sexism at work, some bad language, sexual innuendo, Murphy shows up, alcohol, a guy says nasty things about a woman, mentioning marital infidelity, some blood, physical violence, concealing an incident of violence

A/N: I think that after this chapter, those few people who read this may have mixed feelings. I get it, I had them too. However, I wanted to put myself in Reader's place and situation, and unfortunately such things happened and still happen. Remember - it's just a story. If you are in a similar situation - report it and take care of your safety. However, I hope that in the next chapter (5) I will be able to give them some better moments, they deserve it. of course, I will be grateful for any feedback from you. a fragile and uncertain part of my heart needs it.

your feedback is very important to me and I want to thank you for all the reblogs, comments and likes. I secretly hope you like this story.🖤 sorry for all the mistakes

[previous chapter]

[masterlist]

The next few days were pure chaos. After O'Connell received a call from headquarters and a sharp reprimand from his superior, he made sure everyone stayed busy. Javier and Murphy quickly got on with their work, trying to stay out of O'Connell and Messina's way.

"He cut himself shaving," Steve muttered as the man passed them in the hallway one morning without a word.

"What?" Peña looked up, clearly distracted.

"He cut himself shaving," Steve repeated, pointing to the small bandage on the back of Peter's neck. "I heard him tell a couple of the guys that were smoking outside the office this morning."

"I don't give a damn," Javier muttered. "He's a pain in the ass after that last action. It pisses him off even more that she was the one who tried to stop him."

"And that mole. Do you think they'll find him? Who could it be?"

Javier shrugged. He had his job to do and didn't feel like playing at finding a mole in the office right now. They passed another open room and Peña involuntarily glanced at your desk. Everything was perfectly organized on it, except for a few files that someone had left for you to read.

"She's still gone?" Steve could clearly read his mind. "Three days?"

"Four." Javier corrected him involuntarily.

"Did she say anything?"

"She rarely says anything."

Murphy looked at his friend. He had never seen him pay attention to someone's absence from work before. "She's a good agent," he finally said. "She saved our asses."

Peña's brown eyes landed on his friend, he nodded. "Just don't tell that to O'Connell."

When he saw you in one of the pubs that muggy evening two days later, he almost felt relief. Javier’s watchful eyes immediately noticed a familiar silhouette. The black dress hugged your body, and when he approached you, he saw that you were already tipsy.

"You weren't at work." he said, nodded to the bartender, and after a moment, he too was given a glass of whiskey.

"Were you worried?" you smiled mockingly. "I was sick."

"Sick?" he repeated.

Instinct, however, wouldn't let him rest. Something about it didn't sit right with him. He saw how uncomfortable you felt when he was next to you, and your gaze wandered around the room as if you were looking for someone.

"Look at me."

His voice was clear, he knew you heard it but decided to ignore it. That's why he gently grabbed your chin and turned your face towards him.

He swallowed before speaking again. "Who did this?"

The lipstick didn't hide your healing lip, and the remnants of the bruise on your face were still visible. You could feel Javier's gaze scanning your body. A few more bruises on your arm. What could be hidden under the dress?

"Who did this?" he repeated a little more sharply. "One of them?" he nodded towards the men who were watching you. Peña knew one of these guys, you had gone out together one evening.

You finished your drink. "Leave it." you mumbled.

He leaned towards you, you could clearly smell his cologne mixed with cigarette smoke. "How am I supposed to leave it, huh? You disappear for a few days, and now I see this. I need answers."

"You won't get them from me." you hissed. "Why do you care? We're not even friends."

He clenched his jaw. Exactly, why did he even care? Maybe because you were a woman? Maybe because you had helped him so many times, completely uninterested? Maybe he felt guilty? Or maybe he just liked you, in his own way?

Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed that the man who had been watching the two of you had moved. He slowly walked towards you and Javier knew that he had no arguments for you to stay with him.

"Doll, shall we go?" he mumbled as he approached you.

Fuck, you were drunk. Your legs buckled under you as you stood up from the chair and if Javier hadn't grabbed you, you would have landed on the floor.

"I'll take you home." he said, but you shook your head.

"Everything's fine." you replied and your companion grabbed your arm.

Peña watched as you struggled to take the next steps and he felt that he should react. But you were a grown woman, you made your own decisions and if he interfered you could have broken his nose. 

But at that moment his blood froze. The man who was leading you nodded to another one, and he stood up with a smile and was already at your side. You probably didn't even notice him.

All the bad thoughts popped into Javier's head and without thinking he jumped out of the chair. He caught up with you just as you were walking outside.

"Gentlemen!" he said, placing his hand on one of the men's shoulders "I advise you to leave her."

"Get lost, buddy." one of the men hissed "She wants to come with us, right doll?"

Even though you had your eyes open you couldn't form a full sentence. The alcohol was already flowing through your whole body and it was only a matter of time before you could completely lose control over yourself.

"I don't want to cause trouble, but if you insist." Javier pulled his badge from his belt "We can forget about this."

The men looked at each other clearly irritated, but they probably came to the conclusion that you weren't worth the trouble. So you collapsed on Javier, they threw a few curses and went back inside.

"Fuck, good thing you ran into me." Peña mumbled looking around and located his car "I'll take you home."

"Javier..." you sighed, your hand tightening around his, that was around your waist. "Fucking prince."

"I'm far from him, but at least you'll be in one piece. Come on."

It was a challenge to lead you. Every few steps you stopped and Javier began to wonder if it wouldn't be better if he just picked you up. He was already considering it very seriously when he heard someone say his name.

"Fuck." he hissed, realizing who it was.

Peter O'Connell was heading towards him. His tie was already stuffed into his trouser pocket, and his eyes were sparkling suspiciously. He was drunk. However, a wide smile appeared on his face when he saw Peña, and then you.

"I didn't expect that!" he laughed. "You finally made up your mind? Great choice!"

Javier mumbled something indistinctly. But he sensed that something had changed in you. Your hand seemed to grip his more tightly, your figure straightened a bit.

"Peter..." you said quietly.

"I'm glad you're feeling better now." Peter glanced at you lasciviously, the dress you were wearing suddenly seemed inappropriate to you. "I see that the office gossip has a grain of truth to it. Do you work after hours, huh?"

“I have to take her home.” Javier interrupted, pulling you along with him.

"Have fun with her, Peña!" Peter's raucous laughter echoed behind him and the man felt something curdle his insides "I thought you were like me, but you're smarter. Much smarter! If I had known that all I had to do was get that whore drunk to spread her legs, this whole mess would have been avoided." 

Javier stopped abruptly, your eyes meeting for a moment. 

"Not only did she fuck up the whole plan, but she also has to be so cocky. Women like her need to learn humility, Peña! And we'll teach them that lesson. Don't be gentle, these bitches like it rough!" 

It was as if the missing pieces suddenly fell into place. Javier saw it all in your eyes, noticed that you shook your head, whispering his name quietly, but it was too late. His blood was boiling in his veins. 

The hand you were holding ripped away from you and Peña abruptly moved away. You had no chance of stopping him. With one well-aimed punch, he knocked Peter to the ground. Blood gushed from his nose after the second, but Javier didn't stop. He held him by the lapels of his jacket and punched him a few more times.

"Javier! Javier!" your screams barely reached him.

Finally, you grabbed his arm and with no small effort, pulled him away from O'Connell. Blood was already soaking his shirt, and he curled up on the sidewalk, groaning.

"We have to go, Javier." you said, hugging him. "We have to go."

With shaking hands you opened the door to your apartment and rushed inside. The door didn't have time to close when Javier entered after you. Without a word you got out of his car, he barely stopped in front of the building you lived in. He couldn't leave it like that, especially when he saw how shaken you were.

"Will you tell me what the fuck is going on?" he asked seeing you throw your bag on the table breathing sharply "Did he do this to you?"

"It's none of your business." you panted, looking like you'd lost your mind, pacing nervously "You shouldn't have done that! You'll get in trouble! Fuck!"

"I was supposed to listen to him say things like that about you?!" Javier growled.

"You've listened so far!"

He clenched his jaw, rested his arms on his hips and breathed deeply himself. "I won't say I'm sorry. That son of a bitch got what he deserved!"

You rested your hands on the table and leaned over, a groan escaped your throat. Helplessness, anger, despair - all of it built up inside you and had to find an outlet. A sob followed immediately after that and Peña felt his shoulders slump.

"Was that him?" he asked quietly, you nodded "Fuck! You should report it."

You snorted. "You think so?" you lifted your head and looked at Javier.

Although the alcohol was still coursing through your body, adrenaline made you much more alert. You took off your heels and casually ran your hands through your hair.

"What do I say?" you shrugged "My word against his. You know very well what opinions are circulating about me, I won't be credible. Besides... Shit. He probably already bragged to you that we had an affair."

"Yeah, he mentioned something."

You looked at him with pity, but you probably felt more sorry for yourself.

"I was young and naive. Peter seemed like a fucking god to me." a strange smile appeared on your lips, but it didn't reach your eyes, they still seemed terrifyingly sad to Javier "I fell in love, just like that... I wouldn't break up his family, he said he was separated, that his marriage had been dead for a long time..."

Your voice broke. Javier felt a lump in his throat that prevented him from saying a single word. He could only listen to you. And look. And the sight was simply pathetic.

You were beautiful. He knew it, although he pretended not to notice. And that smile of yours... Or when you made him angry, you were the best at it. Only recently had he been able to admit to himself that sometimes he would like to switch places with those men you took home. He didn't understand it.

"He came here and he was furious. He shouted that I could have fucked up his career again." you continued in a quiet voice, arms wrapped around your chest, eyes wandering somewhere on the floor "He said I owed him something..."

"Did he…?" Javier barely recognized his own voice.

You quickly shook your head. "No. We just... We had a little fight."

"Jesus!" he took a step towards you, his legs felt like cotton "And you're saying I shouldn't punch him in the face? You should report it."

You shook your head again. He noticed you quickly wiped your face so he wouldn't see your tears.

"Peter will leave eventually. And now he will for sure." you said, your voice firm, as if you were discussing a plan of action with him. "If he tells Messina what happened, there would be an internal investigation, and that would bring all this shit to light. He'll want to avoid that."

"And you'll leave him like this?"

You looked up at Javier. "What am I supposed to do, huh? Who will take my side?" you saw him twitch "Javier, it doesn't make sense. I won't win this. I can only show up at the office tomorrow and see what Peter will do."

"And if he doesn't leave?

"He will leave, he's a coward. He transferred me to another department in fear that his wife would find out about me, and then he moved to another state with his family. But maybe you taught him something."

Javier sighed quietly. He knew perfectly well what you were talking about and although he thought you should have done differently, he knew the reality. You were right when you told him once that if you had a dick you would be treated differently.

He came closer and his fingers brushed your arm in a tender gesture "Do you want me to stay here with you?" he asked.

"No need." you replied, and seeing his look you added forcing a smile "But I appreciate it, Javier. I really do."

"At least I'll come tomorrow and take you to work. And no, I won't take no for an answer."

You nodded. "Okay."

He had beautiful eyes. God, you'd known that for ages. But when they were fixed on you like that, you could feel that he was really seeing you. He licked his lips with the tip of his tongue.

"You're tough, you know that? Tougher than most guys."

"And you're not like him, Javier."

"I brought you the files you asked for. I will bring the rest when the latest statements and reports are completed."

You took the files from Loise's hands and thanked her, but the woman didn't seem to want to leave your desk so soon.

"Is something wrong?" you asked, seeing her nervously picking at her cuticles.

She glanced over her shoulder as if she was afraid someone might overhear you, and then said, in a not-so-quiet whisper. "I heard O'Connell's going back to the States."

"Oh."

"You don't know why?" Loise looked at you closely.

You shrugged and shifted in your seat. "How would I know? It's none of my business."

Loise rolled her eyes. "Come on! I heard what the guys were saying on their cigarette breaks. About you and him."

A cold shiver ran down your spine, but you tried not to let it show. You didn't need to get involved.

"Gossip is not our job, Loise. Thank you for that and..."

"You dumped him for Peña?"

"W-What?!" you gasped in surprise. "What kind of question is that?"

Now it was Loise's turn to shrug and fold her arms over her chest. "We saw you this morning. You came in the same car."

"That doesn't mean anything." you snorted.

"You've never come with anyone before."

"Loise! ​​Do we really have to have this conversation?" you stood up and glared at the woman. "It's none of your fucking business. Focus on your work, not gossiping."

The woman straightened up indignantly at your outburst. Her cheeks reddened with anger. "I'm sure Peña's already gotten into your panties, huh? You deserve each other."

"Loise, why did you even think I wear panties?"

The woman opened her mouth, clearly wanting to tell you something, but almost jumped in fear when someone entered your office.

"Messina called a quick meeting. Are you coming?" Javier announced, looking at you, and then, sensing the strange atmosphere, he moved his gaze to Loise. "Sorry, did I interrupt you?"

You shook your head. "Never mind. Yeah, I'm coming."

Javier let you through the door, threw another quick glance at Loise and followed you. "Did something happen?"

"She came to tell me that O'Connell is coming back to the States." You sighed.

"I've heard that before too. But that's not what really got you so worked up, is it?"

He opened the door for you.

"No. People noticed that we came together today."

"Damn..." Javier already knew what you wanted to say. "Now we're sleeping together?"

"Yeah, and I don't wear panties."

"What?!"

You just gave him a quick smile and you entered the conference room where most of the team was already gathered. Murphy smiled at the sight of you and gestured for you to come over.

"Connie asked me to invite you to dinner with us on Saturday." he said looking at Messina who was entering. "We don't take excuses. She wanted to thank you for telling us about the ambush." ​​

"I don't know, I'm bad at things like that." you replied, although the offer seemed very nice to you.

Steve laughed. "I guess you're no worse than Peña."

"Hey! I'm here, asshole!" Javier said.

"She invited you too. You have to eat a normal meal eventually."

You could barely hold back your laughter. "Okay, I'll come. Thanks."

☆☆☆☆

Thank you for your time.

taglist: @qpiiee @missladym1981 @axshadows @djappleblush @picketniffler @txmel @wowitsafemale @cheekychaos28 @underneath-the-sky-again

[icanbringyouinhot]

Take something bad and make it into something good - Chapter 1

Paring: retired!Javier Peña x F!reader

Summary: After leaving Colombia, Javier slowly but surely slides into a post-burnout depression that he tries to self-medicate with alcohol and self-imposed exile. However, his friend Steve Murphy and his wife Connie are not having it. Turns out, their endless nagging got him in a very interesting situation that turned out to be exactly what he needed. (Though, he’ll never admit they were right.)

Here’s the song that inspired me: Something Good by Paul Haig (spotify link)

Warnings: I don’t think there are that many, honestly. There’s no smut (boo-hoo, this is my first fanfic ever posted in here, I’m shy ok?..). No physical description of the reader, though I did describe her clothes because we love a well dressed diva. Vague mentions of alcohol abuse. Mentions of blood, wounds, guns, and depression because our boy is traumatized by what went down in Colombia. The reader has one small tattoo on her forearm. Let me know if I forgot anything, this is my first fanfic, idk what the hell I’m doing.

Word count: Roughly 2k.

A/N: Ok so there’s a few things, PLEASE READ: (1) As I said two times already, this is my first fanfic, I’m nervous and insecure about my writing, so please, please, please, give me any advice you have, criticism, words of encouragement, anything that could help me grow. I ain’t no pussy, you can tell me this is shit and I won’t start crying (as far as you know teehee). (2) The story the reader is talking about is my latest hyper fixation, however, i couldn’t find the source. There’s an article that says it belongs to the Chumash Tribe, but there are also other articles and reddit posts that say the otherwise. I have no idea were I know this story from, it just spawned into my smooth brain. For safety measures I chose not to associate it to any Native American tribe and let the reader’s granny take the blow, because I don’t want to offend anyone and because I am from Europe, so idk what the hell I’m talking about and it would be disrespectful to pretend that I do. (3) The art pieces and the artist that are featured in this fanfic are real (they are also present in the little collage that I’ve made, there in the middle, for visual reference)!!! But i don’t have a clue when he did his work and I was too lazy to google it so i have no idea if they existed by the time Javier Peña left Colombia (or if the art pieces ever touched the American land). Once again this fanfic was a last minute thing I didn’t put that much thought into it. (4) Once again i pulled this story from my bum bum and i don’t know if there’s a Modern Art Gallery in Houston, but I don’t care, I take my artistic liberties to invent one on the spot. (5) English is not my first language!!!!!! I tried really hard to make my sentences beautiful and clear, because sometimes in my head everything is an absolute mess. Once again, Idk what the hell I’m talking about. This fanfic is 100% the concept of raw dogging life and see where it gets you.

Okay!!!!! I think that was it. I think we are ready for our first flight together. I have to inform you that I don’t have any right, license or experience into flying the FanFic Aircraft. Too late, you can’t get off now, I shut the doors. Thank you for choosing our company to fly towards your next destination: JAVI LAND!!!! (play national anthem.)

(Also if someone knows how to add those colorful spacers on a post, I also forgot how it’s called, please send me a message and explain to me like I’m your grandma, thank you!!!!!)

Okay here we go. I’m nervous.

Chapter 2 >>

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Javier Peña had a lot of sins he had to try to pay for, but never in his life did he imagine this would be the price.

Four months. That’s how long’s been since he’d left Colombia for good, leaving behind all the bullshit he had to endure, the mistakes he made, the deaths he’d witnessed.

In all fairness, he thought that going back to the states would motivate him to rebuild his life and start anew. That was his honest to God intention. However, once back in the good ol’ Merica, he realized it no longer felt like home, not in his dad’s old house, not in his new apartment, in a different city, nowhere. He became almost a recluse, filled with rage, resentment and frustrations, never leaving his house much, except for runs to the closest liquor store or the bar down the street.

The first few weeks, Murphy gave him space to sort out his thoughts, drink himself into oblivion, chain-smoke through the night and avoid human interaction like the goddamn plague, only checking on every now and then but never pushing.

Then, they started showing up.

First it was just Murphy, with beer and bad jokes, watching football games, doing anything but talk about Colombia or feelings. Then, Connie started showing up too, with thinly vailed concern and always bringing something for him to eat, all while trying to pull words out of him with pliers. They even had their daughter have a try at him, convinced that no one could resist the innocence of a small, bright-eyed child, especially one that loved her ‘uncle Javi’ like he hung the moon just for her. Yes, Javier loved his niece and would do anything for her, but that was the one thing that he couldn’t do, mostly because he didn’t know how.

No matter how many times he tried to turn them down, they were relentless. They’d pestered, prodded, and outright bullied him into getting out of the house ­– something about fresh air, new experiences, maybe even fun, as if he had any patience for that word anymore. They started up with the occasional dinner invitation, then it was offers to take him out for drinks – somewhere nice instead of the dingy, dimly lit bar where Javi spent his weekends. He never wanted to go anywhere, but Murphy and Connie always insisted until he gave in just to shut them the hell up. Well, more Connie than Murphy, really – she was the one planning every intervention, though she’d been sweet enough not to say that word out loud.

And now… this.

This one – Oh, this one took the cake.

A fucking art gallery.

Connie got her grabby hands on some invitations from an old patient lady that actually owned the fancy Modern Art Gallery in Houston, and Murphy, as the good husband that he was, just went along with it.

But Javier Peña didn’t belong here. That much was obvious from the moment he stepped through the doors of the establishment, wearing a scowl and the same old leather jacked that had seen more blood and dust than it had high society.

The walls were lined with massive canvases – some monochrome, others smeared in chaotic swirls of color – but what stood out the most were the ones that had been slashed and punctured, riddled with holes like someone had taken a knife to them in a drunken rage.

Murphy, the bastard, was actually trying to appreciate it. He stood next to Connie, nodding along as she pointed to different pieces. Javi had no doubt Steve didn’t understand a damn thing either, but unlike Javier, he was at least pretending.

He took a long sip of his whiskey – at least the open bar made this bearable.

At one point during the night, Connie leaned in and, in a hushed, reverent tone, explained that the artist, Lucio Fontana, had created these pieces with great precision to “explore spatial concepts beyond the canvases”, emphasizing “the interplay of light, shadow and space.” He just rolled his eyes and moved further away from her in a corner, plotting his escape.

What a load of bullshit.

All he could see were stab wounds. Bullet holes. Scars carved into the fabric of the country he had spent too many years fighting in. If he looked long enough, he swore he could see blood seeping through, hear the gunshots echoing in his skull.

And maybe that said more about him than the art itself.

He exhaled, running a hand over his face. He needed another drink.

He turned to leave – and walked straight into someone.

“Shit, sorry.” He muttered taking a step back, but the woman in front of him didn’t seem bothered.

You were standing close to one of the mutilated canvases, your back straight, hands folded in front of you as you studied it. You wore a calf-length silk skirt that shimmered under the lights and a lacy top that showed just enough skin to be distracting. But what struck him the most was the way you were looking at the canvas in front of you – not with the pretentious admiration of the other guests but with quiet, genuine thoughtfulness.

You waved off his apology with a small smile before turning your gaze back to the painting – a deep navy-blue canvas punctured with what looked like a thousand tiny holes.

Javier should’ve walked away, but instead he looked at you looking at the painting, and the curiosity got the better of him.

“You actually like this shit?”

You smiled, slow and knowing, like you were expecting that reaction. “Maybe.”

Javier huffed incredulous, crossing his arms. “Really?”

You gestured to the navy punctured canvas, “It reminds me of an old story my grandmother used to tell me when I was little.”

Javier pulled his eyebrows together, puzzled. The only thing it reminded him of was the dark colored government van that got ambushed and was completely obliterated along with the agents inside. But he couldn’t say that, and before he could open up his mouth to say anything else, you already started telling your story.

“Before the humans appeared on the planet, the rocks, animals and plants lived in harmony. They were the people of the world. They lived in harmony and peace, appreciating and taking care of the nature and of one another. They woke up every morning greeting the Sun, and went to sleep waving goodbye to the Moon, thanking her for looking over them.”

Javi found himself listening despite himself, watching you as you talked, tilting you head in his direction, gaze lost, but a small smile creeping on your lips as you continued to narrate the story.

“As time passed, they started to forget. They didn’t greet the Sun anymore or show any appreciation, and the Moon was completely forgotten. They became jealous of each other, thinking others possessed more than them, greed taking over their hearts. They started to take more than they needed, either to consume or to sell away. They didn’t help each other, cooperation didn’t exist anymore. They separated more and more, arguing, hating, fighting, hurting each other.”

His eyes darted between you and the painting, his mind running a thousand miles per hour, but knew better than to try to interrupt you.

“The Creator had been watching and said ‘Enough’, throwing a blanket over the whole world. Now the world was in darkness, people frightened. Each of them tried individually to take off the blanket, but no one was able to reach that far. Desperate, they formed a council, to discuss what they should do. After endless meetings and failed attempts, a hummingbird came with a plan that demanded everyone to cooperate. The hummingbird got on top of the crow, the crow got on top of the owl, and the owl on the eagle. The idea was simple, the eagle was supposed to fly as high as he could, then when his energy ran out, the owl took over, then the crow, until finally the hummingbird got close enough to puncture the blanket with its beak. Light seeped through, and everyone got their hope back. They started working together until they punctured enough holes in the blanket for them to have light and warmth again. The animals that couldn’t fly helped from the ground, preparing water, food and shelter for everyone. The Creator was so pleased to see that the people were living again in harmony that he lifted off the blanket, and the people never took what they had for granted anymore.” You seemed to finish your story the moment your eyes were focused on again, this time shifting your gaze towards Javier. His face was an amalgamation of emotions – confusion, admiration, concentration. “Anyway, it’s said that after they lived again in harmony and peace for many, many years, the people started to forget again.” You added with a shrug, this time with a knowing look into your eyes.

Javier looked at the canvas again. He still saw violence – still saw the wounds, the tearing, the things he couldn’t erase from his mind. But for the first time, he also saw what you did. Something else. Hopeful.

“You got all that from a couple stab marks on a painting?

You turned to him fully, amusement flickering in your eyes. “Art is what you make of it.”

Javier tilted his head, watching you. “So, what do you make of that one?” he said pointing to a different canvas – one with a long, deep cut right in the middle of it, like a wound.

You studied it for a moment, pursing your lips, then said, “Loneliness.”

“Loneliness?”

“Yes, the loneliness we all feel sometimes, almost like a wound right in the middle.” You said tracing absentmindedly a finger over your chest. “Separation. The way we carve ourselves apart from others, whether by choice or by force.”

Javier’s smirk faded slightly. He wasn’t used to conversations like this. Usually, when he talked to women, it was all surface-level-flirting, small talk, nothing deeper than what was necessary. But this? This was different.

If your words affected him, he didn’t let it show, but truth be told, a bitch slap would’ve stung him less than this.

He scoffed giving a skeptical look, “Alright smartass, and that one?” he pointed to another, where multiple slashes ran parallel, like scars.

After another pause for consideration, you said, “Community. We crave connection, we need it. No one survives alone. Even if we are wounded, we heal better when we are surrounded by others. Pain shared is pain halved.”

He almost wanted to ask if you knew Steve and Connie and if they put you up to this, but something in your expression made him reconsider, because when you spoke, when you came up with these awful, soul barring interpretations, you seemed lost in thoughts for a second.

“Where do you come up with this stuff?”

You grinned, “Pulled it out of my ass, mostly.”

He barked out a laugh, “Figures.”

You leaned in slightly, voice conspiratorial, “Truth is, I think this whole thing is bullshit.”

Now that was something he could get behind. “Then how the hell does a smart woman like you end up stuck at an art gallery she doesn’t even like?”

“My grandmother owns the gallery.”

Javier blinked. “Shit.”

You smiled slyly, “Yeah, so don’t tell her I said that.”

“No promises.” He said, “I’m Javier, by the way.” he added, and you shook his hand telling him your own name.

After a beat, you cleared the air, “The only one I’ve actually meant was the first one. The story kind of stuck with me.” You said as you rotated your forearm, letting him see the tiny hummingbird tattoo you had, so small, fragile and beautiful. He wanted to kiss it, honestly,

“So, you really believe in that?” he asked with his characteristic smile plastered on his face.

You glanced at him. ‘Believe in what? That the sky is a blanket and the stars are holes?” you asked amused.

Javier shrugged, “I mean, the whole idea. That there’s a way out, that people could actually find a way to fix their world at some point.” He explained his question, because it sure like hell never felt like that when he tried to lift the proverbial blanket that the cartels threw over Colombia.

You smiled, but there was something wistful in it. “I think stories like that exist because people need them to. To make sense of things, to find hope. The world’s a little less lonely when you see that there are others with the same way of thinking. Maybe if more people knew the story and they’d believe in it, things would change too.”

Javi studied you. You weren’t like the rest of the people here – weren’t fawning over the art just to seem cultured, weren’t talking in circles to sound impressive. You were just… real.

And that was a dangerous thing for him to be around.

You two stood there, quiet for a moment, the hum of conversation and clinking glasses filling the space between you. It should have been awkward, but it wasn’t.

Javi wasn’t sure when was the last time he’d met someone who actually entertained him, let alone someone who made him forget the shitstorm in his head. You had that way of carrying yourself – calm, amused, like the world was something to be studied but never taken too seriously.

“So, what about you?” you said after a moment, “If you hate this so much, why are you here?”

Javier sighed, glancing across the room where Steve was balancing a glass of wine while his wife animatedly discussed another piece. “Some friends dragged me.” He muttered.

You nodded in consideration, then looked around for your own dear grandmother. She was way over her head discussing with a circle of quests just like she did the whole night. Aside from knowing that you came, she didn’t get the chance to check in on you or chat at any point during the event, and you took a wild guess that it wouldn’t be happening anytime soon either.

You grinned, tilting your head slightly. “Tell you what – I’ll make you a deal.”

Javier arched a brow. “Yeah?”

You leaned in, lowering your voice. “There’s a bar two blocks from here. No abstract art, no bullshit. Just whiskey and decent company. Maybe some food too. You in?”

Javier hadn’t expected the night to be anything other than a painful endurance test, something he did mostly for his friends than for himself. He sure hadn’t expected to meet someone like you. And for the first time in a long time, he thought – why the hell not?

His lips curved into a genuine smile – he couldn’t remember when was the last time he smiled as much as he did ever since he started talking to you.

“Hell yeah, lead the way.”

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[javierpena-inatacvest]

Chapter 1- I D.A.R.E. You

Summary: After starting your new job as a 3rd grade teacher at Alma Pierce Elementary School, you meet a handsome Javier Peña who has been forced to come give a presentation to your grade. Although you've never met him, you're shocked to find out you may have more in common than you'd think.

Warnings: Mentions of Javi's past work for the DEA, mentions of death and grief, language, financial compensation if you were subjected to the D.A.R.E program as a child, Javi's family friends giving him sass

Word count: 6.2K

A/N: Post Season 3 Javi lives forever in my brain, as the first chapter of this story takes place in Laredo, May of 1997. This man deserves love, and boy is he going to get it.

Series Masterlist Next Chapter

“It’s your lucky day, Peña!” 

Javier glanced up from the pile of paperwork scattered across his desk to acknowledge the voice coming from the doorway to his office. 

“What do you want, Carter?” 

Javier's voice half grunted in response, his eyes shifting back down to the pile of papers on his desk. In his doorway stood his office mate, Detective Eric Carter. When Javier began his new position with the Laredo County Sheriff's Department 4 months ago, it took everything in him to keep from calling his new co-worker Steve. At a glance, he looked just like his old DEA partner. Tall, lanky, with a wiry head of blonde hair and bright blue eyes. 30 seconds into meeting Carter, it didn’t take long to realize looks were about the only thing he and Steve Murphy had in common. Eric Carter was a human ray of fucking sunshine, and his chipper demeanor was blinding Javier this early in the morning. 

“It’s your turn!” Carter replied in a sing-songy voice, slapping a red file folder onto Javier’s desk, covering the papers he had been sorting through. Javier picked up the folder and crinkled his brows in confusion. He turned the cover towards him, holding it just far enough away so that his squint trying to read its contents wasn’t too obvious. God, he just needed to give up and buy reading glasses already. 

As he got the folder just the right distance away from his face, he gave Carter a look that said absolutely fucking not. The folder read D.A.R.E school assembly lessons, with a picture of the Lion mascot giving a big thumbs up in his black D.A.R.E shirt. The office had recently been recruited by Laredo Public School District to start giving presentations to the Elementary schools, using the program aptly abbreviated for Drug Abuse Resistance Education. 

“Just take away the “R” and rearrange some letters and it spells DEA!” Carter laughed to himself. “It’s like it was made for you!” 

“No.” 

“Sorry Peña, you’re bottom of the totem pole this week. We’ve all done our time, and you’re the last one left in the office who has yet to go present. It’s not even that bad, you just basically go talk to these kids for an hour and tell them drugs are bad, don’t do them, yadda, yadda, yadda, you get the gist, and then it’s done. Piece of cake!” 

“I’m not fucking going.” Javier scoffed. “I have shit I have to get done.” Gesturing in annoyance to the piles of papers on his desk, now in disarray from the folder being thrown on his desk. 

“Not a choice, Mr. Peña.” 

A new voice passed by the doorway, and a much broader frame stood behind Carter’s. Chief Deputy Dean Morris, had joined the conversation, knowing that it wouldn’t end easily for Detective Carter if he kept harassing Javier about it. Morris was head of the department, and what he said, went. Coming from a background in the Air Force, Morris knew how “civilian” a position at a sheriff’s department must have felt for Javier after his time in the DEA. 5 years ago, it seemed fair to think that neither of them would have assumed paperwork, mundane training programs, and now, arguing over talking to 10 year olds about the dangers of doing drugs would have played any importance in their jobs. 

 “Right of passage. Ever since the school board dropped this on us last year, we’ve all done our time. Believe me, no one wants to do it, but like Carter said, today is your lucky day!” Morris’s voice oozed with sarcasm, knowing that Javier would absolutely hate every second of what he was about to have to do. 

“You lucked out on your day to go too, Peña. It looks like you get to go to the school with the hot teach-OW! Hey! What was that for?!” Morris had slapped Carter’s shoulder before he could get out the rest of his sentence. 

“Keep it in your pants, okay Carter?” 

Carter let out a huff of defeat. “I’m just saying, he could have gotten worse days to go…” 

“Just read from the notes, let the kids ask a couple of questions at the end and then you’re on your way. Easy peasy. When you get to the school office they’ll let you know where to go.” 

Javier opened his mouth to rebuttal, but before he could even get out a word, Morris held up his hand to stop him. 

“Not a choice. I’ll have Carter help you finish sorting paperwork, so don’t try to bullshit me and tell me that you have too much work to get done.” 

Javier let out a sigh of frustration that was a little louder than he intended it to be. His hands rested on his forehead as he rubbed the bridge of his nose before replying. 

“Fine. But this is one and done.” 

“Good man.” Morris reached over Javier’s desk and gave him a pat on the shoulder. He and Carter started to make their way out of Javier’s office when Morris turned his head over the back of his shoulder. 

“Carter’s right about the teacher, too. She’s a catch.” He winked and shut the door behind him. 

Javier gathered his things and made his way through the office, passing by Detective Carter’s desk. 

“Have funnnnnnn! Say ‘hi’ to the hot teacher for me!” Carter mocked, twinkling his fingers, waving at Javier. 

Without saying a word, Javier flipped him off, and kept walking. 

Settling into his truck, Javier set down his belongings in his passenger seat, and opened up the red file folder to see where his unexpected journey was taking him. 

This is fucking ridiculous He mouthed to himself as he cranked up the AC in the truck with one hand, and rummaged the other through the items on the seat. Reaching next to him, he grabbed and opened the folder, and grazed his index finger down the inside cover, where a schedule of schools, dates, and times were printed. At the bottom, he found 

5/27/97- Alma Pierce Elementary School, 12:00-12:30 pm, school cafeteria

 Javier’s heart sank to the bottom of his stomach. He read the line several times, re-checking the location and date to make sure what he read was true. 

Fuck. 

To any of his other co-workers who had been tasked with giving one of these D.A.R.E. presentations, the elementary school they were assigned to that day most likely held little to no significance. Of course, out of the 16 elementary schools in the Laredo Public School District, Javier was assigned to the one that held the most significance to him. 

The school that his mother taught at for her entire teaching career before she passed away. 

Since returning home from Colombia, Javier had been avoiding human contact like the plague. He had returned as somewhat of a “hometown hero” after his accomplishments with the DEA but couldn’t have felt further from it. He had become Laredo’s hottest topic. 

“What was it like to help catch Escobar?! The Cali Cartel?!” 

“We’re so proud of you, the DEA couldn’t have done it without you!”

“When are you going to come over and tell us all about Colombia? We want to know everything!” 

Each question, compliment and conversation about his time in South America was like a knife to his heart, slowly twisting with each word that came out of someone’s mouth. He could feel the guilt and burden of his time away growing heavier and heavier as he politely smiled through these conversations. 

But worse than the strangers who felt entitled to berate Javier about his time in Colombia, were his friends and family who he had been actively avoiding since returning home. Besides his father, Javier hadn’t seen anyone close to him since his mother’s funeral 8 years ago. It hurt Javier knowing that he had returned to Laredo a changed man, haunted by the things he had seen and done. His mother’s closest friends, those that she worked with at Alma Pierce Elementary School, had promised to fulfill Lucia Peña’s dying wish that they would look out for Javi and made sure that he came home okay. 

Well, Javier was home. He wasn’t quite sure how to break it to them that he wasn’t really okay. 

As he drove and parked in front of the school building, Javier’s heart began to beat heavier in his chest. His fingers drummed on the steering wheel as he started at the entrance to the school. He couldn’t decide if the feeling swirling around in his stomach was comfort or terror, knowing that Alma Pierce Elementary looked exactly the same as it did the last time he was here 9 years ago with his mother. 

He did know that part of that feeling definitely had to be terror, as he began to think about the fact he was about to be interrogated relentlessly by his late mother’s closest friends. Might as well sign these women up to work for the DEA- they were probably more terrifying than anyone Javier had encountered in his time working there. 

After a few more deep breaths, Javier gathered his things out of his truck and headed towards the main doors. Each footstep felt like he was walking through wet cement, questioning if it was too late to turn around.

Practically tip toeing in to the office, hoping to be as inconspicuous as possible, Javier let out a soft “Hi, I’m from the sheriff's department, I’m here for-“ 

Before he could even finish his sentence, the office secretary, a tiny and graying Señora Gutierez was thrusting her arms across the threshold of the office desk to wrap Javier in an impressively strong hug. 

“JAVIER PEÑA. I cannot believe it’s you! oh my sweet mijo, look at you! The older you get, the more like Chucho you look, dios mio! Why haven’t you stopped by?! We have all missed you so much, what have you been doing? It is so good to see you!” 

Here we go.

“Hola, Señora.” Javier half grunted from how tight he was being squeezed. “It’s nice to see you too.” 

“I have lots to ask but I know you need to go, or they will know that this old woman has been running her mouth, making you late.” Señora Gutiérrez began shooing her hand, as to send Javier on his way. 

Javier chuckled. He felt his body begin to ease slightly, letting the familiarity of friendly faces bring him a small sense of comfort. 

“I would hope after this VERY LONG time that you have not been to see your mamà’s dearest friends, you still remember where the cafeteria is?” She gave Javier a playful grin.

“Sí, Señora.” 

“Everyone will be so happy to see you, mi amor. Now go, or everyone will be after me for keeping you!” 

Grabbing his things, Javier made his way down the bustling hallway. Tiny faces stared up at his, as he shuffled his way towards the cafeteria doors. There, he was greeted by a sea of children chatting amongst themselves and 3 smiling faces, patiently waiting for his arrival. 

“JAVI!” 

Out of any of the faces he was bound to see today, these were the 3 he would recognize anywhere. The ladies who stood before him were the fellow 3rd grade teachers who had taught alongside his mother for almost 20 years. 

The ladies surrounded him in a bear hug, Javier quietly noting to himself that he had definitely reached his hug quota for the next several weeks. 

“It’s so good to see you, Javi.” The first of the 3 women spoke, her words sweet like honey. Linda Garcia was short and stout, her gray bangs brushing over the brim of her glasses as she looked up at Javier. Linda had always had a soft spot for Javi, and reminded him the most of his mother. 

“It’s good to see you t-“ 

“PENDEJO. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?! WHY HAVE YOU NOT CALLED?! WE SWORE TO YOUR LATE MOTHER THAT WE WOULD TAKE CARE OF YOU, AND IF IT WASN’T FOR CHUCHO KEEPING US UPDATED TH-” 

“Maria, let the boy breathe, this is the first time you’re seeing him in years, and this is the route you’re going to take? Dios Mio.” 

Standing next to Linda were her 2 partners in crime, Maria Rogers and Estelle Lopez. 

If you didn’t know Maria Rogers, you would be shocked to see the ferocity that came out of such a tiny woman. Javier’s mother used to refer to her “el v��lcan”- a matching nickname for her fiery personality. 

Estelle, on the other hand, was one of the most soft spoken people that Javier had ever meant. If she had something to say, he knew it was time to listen. 

“Hi everyone, it’s really great to see all of you.” Javier meant it. As overwhelmed and flustered as he was, it brought him peace to know after the hell that these last 8 years had been, some things never change. 

“MRS. ROGERSSSSSSS. WHEN IS THIS GONNA START?! I’M HUNGRY AND I KNOW LUNCH IS AFTER THIS.” 

“BE QUIET, MICHAEL. YOU KNOW WE’RE STILL WAITING FOR ONE MORE CLASS. YOU’RE SO ANNOYING.” 

“AM NOT!” 

“AM TOO!” 

Chatter and fidgeting amongst the 3rd graders instantaneously increased, the crowd of children now growing restless. 

“Oi, these niños will be the death of me, thank goodness this school is almost done.” Maria mumbled under her breath, the other 2 teachers rolling their eyes and laughing in agreement. “We’re just waiting on one more class, but they should be here any minute.” 

Overhearing the conversations shouted across the cafeteria, Agent Carter’s voice wandered through Javier’s thoughts. 

“You get the school with the hot teacher!” 

Obviously, Carter was not referring to the 3 women who stood before him. Although he wasn’t one for crude office banter, Javier couldn’t help but wonder if Carter’s statement really held true. With a genuine curiosity and a slight smirk on his face, he leaned back, arms crossed and asked, “Yeah wait, there’s still four 3rd grade teachers right?” 

The women all shot him a look that took him aback, their eyes burning a hole though Javier. 

“Jesus, you men really have a one track mind don’t you. Yes, I’m sure all of your friends from the department have been more than happy to tell you about our new teacher who just joined us. She is a sweet girl, and I am sure she is sick of getting harassed by all of you.” 

“Maria, I was just asking a quest-“ 

“Javier Jesus Peña, I have known you since before you were born. Wipe that smug look off your face, I know exactly why you asked the question”. 

Yup, things haven’t changed a bit. 

Before he could retort, the cafeteria doors began to swing open, followed by a long line of children, and you. 

“1, 2, 3, eyes on me!” 

“1, 2, eyes on you! 

God, the amount of times you’d had to repeat that phrase as the end of the school year approached, you might as well have gotten it tattooed on your forehead. 

“Okay 3rd graders, we’re already 5 minutes late for our assembly, and I’m sure the other classes are not going to be happy that we’re holding them up, and probably making us late for lunch after” 

The chatter stopped. With only a few days left in the school year, you were running out of ammunition to keep your class’s attention. At least the threat of being late to unch would work for now. 

A little hand shot up from the middle of the line you were about to trail down the hallway, like a mother duck with her babies following in line. “What’s your question, Jaun?” 

“Do you know if it’s gonna be the same guy as last time? He was kind of scary.” Mumbles of agreement came from the voices surrounding him. The Laredo Sheriff's Department had sent in a slew of their employees each week for these presentations, and you had been convinced none of them had ever even attempted to talk to a child. Last week’s presenter, Martin, Michales, something like that, had spent the large time of his presentation talking about getting murdered by the Cartel, leading to tears from many of your students, and a prompt request to not have him back. 

“I don’t know sweetie, it seems like there’s someone new who comes every week, but I sure hope it’s not him.” The class let out a small giggle. These were the moments you loved about your job as a teacher, especially now that you had moved to an older grade where your kids finally picked up on your subtle jokes with them. 

You had been with your class since after Christmas break, filling in as a long term sub for a 3rd grade teacher on maternity leave. The job followed an impromptu move from Chicago to Texas after breaking off your relationship with your boyfriend (regrettably, almost fiancé)  of 3 years, who had been cheating on you behind your back for 2 of them. You felt like an idiot that you hadn’t seen it coming, but it still hit you like a ton of bricks. Paul had plenty of red flags, but your optimistic demeanor and the mounting peer pressure of watching your friends get married and start their own families made you feel trapped. It still stung to think you would have settled for a miserable life with Paul out of the fear you wouldn’t find anyone else. 

 Desperate to get as far away from Illinois as possible, you packed your bags and made the nearly 4 day drive down to Laredo, Texas. Laredo,  a strange choice to many, but made nothing but complete sense to you. Your best friend since the 2nd grade, Sarah Alverez, had moved to Laredo your Freshman year of high school, her father accepting an agricultural engineering position in ranching country. You spent every summer until college visiting her and her family, having nothing but the fondest of memories for a sleepy town outside of San Antonio. It was a stark chance from the hustle and bustle of Chicago suburbia where you had spent your childhood. Long, carefree summer days made you promise yourself that if you ever did leave Chicago, you’d find yourself here. Well, you had made good on your promise, but for reasons that still made your stomach churn in gut-wrenching knots. 

You and your class journeyed down the hallway to the cafeteria. Thank god it was a short trip, because you were far too tired to put up with the bickering and shenanigans the back of your line often seemed to plague you with. Just as you were entering through the cafeteria doors, you promptly turned around, your body facing the line as you walked backwards further into the cafeteria. “Isabella and Jorge, keep your hands to yourself! You two know you’re not supposed to be in line togeth-” Before you could finish your sentence, the back of your body collided with one behind you that you hadn’t seen since turning around to stop a near WWE smackdown in the hallway. You had bumped into kids more than once who weren’t paying attention to their surroundings, but it became very clear, very quickly, that the body you had backed yourself into was not a child’s. 

The body you had backed yourself into was much taller and broader than yours. Two large hands firmly, but gently grasped around the middle of your upper arms to catch you without stumbling backwards any further. An overwhelming scent of cedarwood and sage cologne filled your senses. This obviously was not one of your coworkers, either. 

“Oh my gosh, I am so sorr-“ you started to apologize as you came to face the body that had stopped you in your tracks. Your apology halted as you were met by incredibly broad shoulders covered by a navy blue suit jacket. As your gaze continued upwards, the shoulders were followed by a strong square jawline and plush lips, the upper covered with an impeccable mustache. Continuing up, you were met with the most beautiful, deep chocolate brown eyes, whose soft stare soon met yours. There was no denying that this man was devilishly handsome. Realizing that you had most definitely been starting too long, you restated your apology. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize you were behind me.” Your eyes shifted away from his and darted down to the floor. 

A small smirk formed on his face as he looked down at you. He didn’t realize it, but he couldn’t help it. You were wearing a yellow sun dress that hit just above your knees, covered by a light washed denim jacket. Your dress swayed beautifully as he watched you take your last few steps backwards, making him question himself if he let you run into him on purpose. You smelled like vanilla and something sweet that he couldn’t quite put his finger on. Pink embarrassment flooded your cheeks as a soft smile on your face met his. He now too realized that he had been staring a little too long, and that he still had his grasp on your arms as you had turned around to look at him. 

“No it’s okay.” He let out a small laugh under his breath. “I just didn’t want you to go too much further and trip over anything else.” He gently let his hands leave her arms, and watched as she brushed a piece of hair out of her face and looked back up at him. 

“Should we go sit down now?!” A small voice shouted from your line, causing you to snap back to reality, realizing that you had a line of children still standing behind you. 

“Yes, sorry sweetie” you replied, brushing your dress down back into place. “You guys can go find a spot behind Mrs. Rogers’ class.” Your class passed by you, paying no mind to the interaction that just took place between you and the man you had just bumped into. 

As you watched your class pass by, you turned back around to find the man still staring at you, causing your heart to palpably beat in your chest. The same strong hands that had caught you were now extended in your direction, offering a handshake to introduce himself. “I’m Javier Peña, uh Javi, actually” as your hand met his, realizing how small they felt in his grip. “I’m from the Laredo Sheriff's department, I uh, I’m the one that’s supposed to be doing the whole presentation thing today.” Your hand stayed in his as you introduced yourself. God, his hands were something else.

His grip loosened as your co-workers began to move towards you. You began to realize how hot your face felt, knowing that you were flushed with embarrassment not only from almost falling into a crowd of 10 year olds, but from how awe struck you were by the man who had caught you.

The three women on your 3rd grade team had taken you in as one of their own when you started your job here. They had been more than happy to step in to help you with whatever you needed, including trying to set you up with every single man your age that they knew. With the exception of the parade of overly forward sheriff's department members who had been at your school every Wednesday. Those 3 had no problem telling those men to fuck right off and leave you alone (in the nicest way possible.) The ladies slowly crept closer towards you, sly grins stretched across their faces as they giggled like school girls. 

“OH, so it looks like you met our sweet Javier!” Linda said with over exaggerated enthusiasm. 

“Sweetie, you’re SO good with the technology around here, you know how us old ladies are. Maybe you could help him set up the video he needs for his presentation today?” You knew damn well these women knew how to press play on a VCR. You grimaced your face at Maria. While you couldn’t see your face, you were absolutely positive your expression was screaming “Oh my God, could you please make it any more obvious that this man is insanely attractive and you don’t need to add to the embarrassment after I already ran into him like an idiot?!” 

“Yeah, of course, I’d be more than happy to help!” You pointed towards the stage that sat in front of the cafeteria. “Just come this way and I’ll show you how to set it up.” 

Following behind you, Javier leaned his head down towards yours. “Must be the most complicated VCR set up I’ve seen in a while.” 

You let out a giggle. “Yeah, they're all very sweet, but not the most skilled with anything that has to do with technology. When our principal had mentioned the idea of us potentially getting a computer lab, they just about had a heart attack. Setting up the TV to play a video should be no problem.” You gestured towards the stage at the front of the cafeteria where the TV cart was kept for presentations. He followed behind you, keeping a respectful distance.  Not respectful enough to keep himself from staring at the curve of your ass in your dress as you walked up the stage stairs. 

“Do you have the tape you need to show?” Your words went in one ear and out the other. Carter and Morris weren’t kidding. He hated to admit that those idiots were right about anything, but God, you were beautiful. His gaze was locked on you as squatted down next to the VCR, ejecting its previous contents. It seemed in that moment that you very much both realized that when Javier stood in front of you, you eye level with his waist, staring up at him, dangerously close to his coc- 

“Uh, yeah, yeah sorry,” he shook his head slightly to snap himself out of the thought he was about to have. “Thanks.” he smiled sheepishly. 

“Well I’m no technology expert, but all you should have to do is press play wherever you need to, and you should be good to go! Let me just roll this cart out for you and we’re good for you whenever you’re ready!” You began pushing the cart out onto the stage, but before you could get anywhere, Javi had his hand over yours. 

“You don’t have to do that. I’m sure it’s probably heavy, I can push it.” He insisted. 

You raised your eyebrows and gave him a look that made him step away. 

“What, you think I can’t do it?” Defiantly, you pushed the cart out to the middle of the stage to prove a point, looking back at him and shrugging with an “I told you so” look on your face. Any other woman he had met would have thankfully given up the task, let alone offer to do it at all. At that moment, Javier Peña knew you were not just any other woman. And that- that terrified him in the best way possible.

 Just before you hopped off the edge of the stage to re-join your class, you looked up at him as he ran his fingers through his locks of thick, curly brown hair, trying to regain his composure. 

“Good luck up there, Mr. Peña.” 

Javier couldn’t even tell you what had happened in the 30 minutes that he was up on stage. There were many times throughout his career where he had stared out into a sea of blank faces as he gave a presentation about intel, informats, wire taps… but having the eyes of 80 9 and 10 year olds glued to his every word was an absolutely terrifying experience. Not because he was nervous about the judgment of a child who may or may not even be able to tie their shoes or wipe their nose, but because of what they may say about him to you. It took everything in his power not to stare at you the entire time he was up there, but every time he glanced in your direction, your face lit up with a reassuring smile. You had even given him a little thumbs up when he had successfully started the VCR, playing a clip of Daren the D.A.R.E Lion. 

As the presentation finished, the kids applauded and gave a unanimous “thank you!” prompted by the teachers. 

As your class gathered behind you to walk down to the cafeteria, Maria tapped your shoulder. 

“Take a picture, mija, it will last longer.” 

You were too busy staring at Javi to even notice that Maria was talking to you. Her words went in one ear and out the other. 

“Huh, what? Sorry, did you say something?” 

“I said, take a picture, it will last longer.” Maria laughed to herself. “I don’t think your eyes have left him once since you walked in here.” 

You hated to admit it, but it was true. You had known this man for less than an hour, and he already had butterflies dancing around in your stomach. God, what were you, 12?! Pull it together. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Maria.” Of course you did. If you were wearing pants, they would be up in flames. Liar, liar, pants on fire. 

“I’ll take your class to lunch today. I’ll be back to help stack all of the chairs in a few. I’m sure he could use some help cleaning up, and I’ve heard that VCR is really difficult to work.” Maria nudged you before she turned around to collect your class and parade them out of the gym. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” 

Trying to contain your excitement, you playfully rolled your eyes and shook your head. 

The other teachers and students left, leaving just you and Javi. He gathered his things that he had left on the stage and started to make his way back down the stairs. It took him a moment to realize you were standing at the edge of the steps, arms crossed over your chest, smiling up at him. 

“I’m sorry if the kids were rowdy. It’s been a zoo since there’s only a few days of school left.” You both let out a small chuckle. Now that you two were alone, you became very aware of how nervous you were.

“You did a really great job! Honestly, you’re the best person we’ve had since we’ve started doing these presentations. The guy we had last time, I can’t remember his name, something with an M?! Anyways, I don’t think he’s ever spoken to a child in his entire life, and there were definitely some tears.” 

Definitely Morris, Javi noted to himself. 

“Thanks, I uh- didn’t think I’d be so nervous to talk in front of a bunch of kids. I’m glad it wasn’t too bad. I should thank you for helping me with that video. Didn’t need to get my pride bruised in front of 10 year olds.  Also glad I didn’t make anyone cry.” 

You both let out small laughs, your cheeks revealing small smiles across your faces. While the silence between you grew, the distance between you began to shrink as you both subconsciously took a small step towards each other. 

He watched as a small wave of sadness flooded your expression. “Stinks that this is the last week of presentations before the school year ends. it would have been nice to have you back.” You looked at him with a half hopeful smile. You saw the same feeling reflected back in him as his brow scrunched and bottom lip entered a small pout. 

“Oh shit. Yeah, I uh, I guess I forgot it’s the end of the school year. That would make sense there wouldn’t be anymore presentations.” He rested one hand on his hip, as the other traveled through his thick, brown locks. You bit down on your bottom lip, stunned by his broadness and shoulders to waist ratio, which was made even more apparent as his fingers combed through his hair. His deep brown eyes met yours, melting you instantly.  “If I had known that you would have been here, I would have signed up to come a lot earlier.” 

Before you had a chance to recover yourself from the puddle you had just turned into, the cafeteria doors swung open once again. Maria was a woman on a mission. Her tiny, thin frame marched with purpose towards you both. 

“Oh good thing I caught you, amor! I was just thinking that I had something important to tell Javier before he left and I’m so glad you’re here to hear it too. Javi happens to be a dear familiar friend, and I was just telling him before the presentation how excited I am to see him and his father at my cookout this Saturday! I know you had mentioned you were thinking about going! You’ll be there, won’t you Javier? Aren't you so excited to come to the party this Saturday?”

Maria and Javier entered a silent stare down. Their expressions allowed them to have an entire conversation without speaking a word. 

There’s a party on Saturday? What are you talking about? What does this have to do with anything?

Dios Mio, Pendejo. Take the hint. I already invited her. She will be there on Saturday so you can see her again. Don’t mess this up. 

“Oh really?” You chimed in, perhaps a bit too over enthusiastic. “I wasn’t really going to know anyone besides the staff at school, so it would be nice to see another familiar face!” In all honesty, you were trying to find a way out of going before just now. Huge social gatherings of strangers weren’t really your thing, but if it meant it was a chance to see Javi again, you would brave it. 

“Oh yeah, the uh, the cookout! Yeah, uh, yeah, I’ll be there. It would be really nice to see you again, too.” Although Javier’s tone carried a tint of confusion, his smile was confirmed that his statement was genuine. 

“Bueno!” Maria clasped her hands together and shook her head in delight. “So you will BOTH be there on Saturday!” 

You could already feel your heart swelling at the prospect of seeing Javi again. 

“Oh and mija”, Maria turned towards you, your face lighting up, wondering if she had even more good news to deliver. “They need you in the office. Isabella and Jorge got into a wrestling match in the cafeteria and the secretaries needed to call their parents. Oi, these niños are like wild animals, summer cannot come fast enough!” 

“Of course they did. They might as well put WWE referee under our job description because it seems like that’s all I’m doing all day. It’s like herding feral cats.” you groaned. “Those two cannot be together next year…” 

Javi let out a snort. “Sorry”, he said, trying to contain his laughter. You joined in, realizing the ridiculousness of your statement. 

“Alright, well I guess that’s my cue to go. It was really nice to meet you, Javi. I’m really glad I get to see you again.” It took every ounce of strength in your body to move yourself out of the cafeteria doors. As you walked away, you turned once more to look back over your shoulder, to find that Javi’s eye’s hadn’t moved from your direction since you turned around. “See you on Saturday.” 

Even after you were out of sight, Javi still stood frozen, his eyes wide and jaw still half open. 

“Hola, earth to Javier, are you there?!” Maria interjected, waving her hand in front of Javi’s awe struck face. 

Snapping out of his trance, Javier began to speak, but was stopped before he could get out a single word. 

“Listen to me mijo. I want you to be happy. That was all Lucia asked for before she passed. So first and foremost, you are welcome.” Maria gestured, alluding to the fact that Javier owed her big time for what had just happened. “Secondly, she is a sweet girl. If you do anything to break her heart, so help me, I will come to the ranch and run you over with your father’s tractor. Understood?” 

“Understood.” Javier understood that this was not a threat, it was a promise. 

“Good. She’s a good one, Javier. She reminds me so much of your mother. Lucia would have loved her.” She reached up her hand to cup the side of Javi’s face, before bringing her other arm around him for a hug. 

Javier exhaled, trying his best to hold back the tears that were welling in his eyes. It was the first time since returning home that he felt a sense of relief and comfort fill his body. Maybe, he was more than the man he was returning home from Colombia. Maybe, the people who loved him before he left still loved him now, despite the person he’d become. Maybe, just maybe, someone else could love him for the new man he now hoped to become.  

[wannab-urs]

Title: Something Sweet

Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader

Summary: You’re new to the team in Colombia and all alone on your birthday. Your partner, Javier Peña, decides to do something sweet for you. 

Tags: Set vaguely during season 1 before Javi gets extra angsty, canon compliant-ish, reader feeling lonely, sassy!reader, flirty!javi, alcohol (wine), brief mention of a gun bc I feel like a DEA agent wouldn’t just answer the door all willy nilly, kissing, javi asking for consent, but y’all did share a bottle of wine, kissing, fingering f receiving, marking, unprotected PinV, cuddling. I always write angsty Javi, but this is FLUFF, so sorry if it’s OOC, I’m slightly out of my element here. 

WC: 2107

A/N: This fic is a birthday gift for @psychedelic-ink. Sil, you’re a wonderful friend and you do so much for the Pedro Pascal Fandom community on top of being an incredible writer. So, with some help from @pedrorascal with the beautiful gifs, I schemed up a little fic for you. I hope you love it! Happy Birthday and Happy Holidays AHHHH. 

Moving to a new country two weeks before your birthday, which also happens to be Christmas Eve, is not ideal. You moved to Colombia from Miami after a promotion, earning a spot on the elite team working to catch Pablo Escobar. 

The last two weeks have been a whirlwind, trying to catch up on all the facts of the case. You have to learn every sicario by sight and all of their names, aliases, and frequent hang outs. You have to learn about everything Escobar has done in Colombia, all the cartels and how they connect, it’s all extremely exhausting and time consuming. 

Which is why you have no friends yet, unless you count your new partners Javier Peña and Steve Murphy. Which you don’t. You barely know them, and from what you’ve seen so far, Peña is an asshole. Steve might be okay, but you just haven’t had time to get to know him yet. 

You take off your windbreaker and hang it on the back of your chair. It’s kind of ridiculous that you have to work on Christmas Eve, but there’s no rest for the wicked and therefore no rest for you either. You sit down and open the first file on your desk, immediately getting down to business without so much as a greeting for your partners. 

A couple hours into the work day, a shadow darkens your desk. “What do you want, Peña?” 

“God damn, hermosa. Touchy today? I brought you a coffee.” Peña sets the cup of lukewarm black slop on your desk and leans further into your space, peeking at the files you’re reading. 

“Yes, actually. Did you need something or did you just come over here to bother me?” 

“I just came over here to compliment your nails, actually,” he takes your hand in his, inspecting your nails, and then looks into your eyes. “I like the color. Suits you.” 

You feel heat rise to your cheeks. Peña is cute. Gorgeous, really, but you don’t make a habit of flirting with your coworkers. “Thanks… They were my birthday gift to myself.” You tug your hand away from him and place it in your lap. 

“It’s your birthday?” He asks, still leaning much too far into your personal space. You nod and look back down at the file. 

“I have to get back to work now,” you almost whisper to him, all your bitter snark from earlier replaced by a sense of melancholy. There’s not a soul in this entire country who knows it’s your birthday today. Aside from Javier, now, you guess. Javier lingers for another moment before pushing off your desk and leaving you to your work. 

You’re starting to pack up for the day when Peña comes up to your desk again, sitting on the corner. 

 “So what are your plans tonight?” he asks. 

“Huh?” You don’t have any plans. A phone call from your friend in Miami and a bottle of Chilean wine maybe. 

“Your plans? For your birthday?” 

“Oh. I don’t have any. Don’t really know anyone yet so…” you trail off. You feel kind of pathetic, even though you know it’s completely reasonable to not have a group of friends yet. 

“Me and Murphy could take you out?” 

“Oh um–”

“Actually, Jav,”  Steve calls out from his desk. “Me and Connie have plans tonight. Christmas Eve and all,” he gives you an apologetic look. 

“It’s fine really. I’m gonna have a nice relaxing night in. Thanks though.” You put on the best smile you can and head for the door. 

You hang up the phone after your short call with your friend. It’s expensive to call long distance, but she stayed on with you as long as she could. She told you all about her new boyfriend and that everyone had wished you a Happy Birthday and Happy Holidays. You’re grateful she didn’t ask about your job or your love life. 

As you pop the cork on a bottle of wine, there’s a knock on your door. You stare at the door questioningly, as if it will tell you who’s there. Who on earth could be knocking at your door at 8pm on Christmas Eve? 

You grab your gun and sneak over to the door, peeking through the peephole. Broad shoulders and a dark head of hair are all you can make out through the tiny lens. Javier? You set your gun on the side table and pull open the door. 

“Peña? What are you doing here?” 

He turns around and holds his hands out to you. “Brought you something.” He’s holding a birthday cake, clearly store bought, decorated with a generic “Feliz cumpleaños” scrawled on top. A bright smile lights up your face. 

“Oh Javi, you didn’t have to!” 

“I wanted to. You gonna invite me in for some cake?” He raises his eyebrows at you. 

“Oh! Yeah sure. Come in!” You step to the side to let him through and close and lock the door behind him. “Sorry about the mess. I’m not fully unpacked yet.” 

“I’ve been here for 7 years and I’m not fully unpacked. It’s fine.” Javi reassures you. He sets the cake down on your kitchen counter and starts rifling around for plates and silverware. 

“I can do that,” you try to move him out of the way, but he’s having none of it. 

“No, it’s your birthday. Let me. You pour yourself a glass of wine and go sit on the couch.” 

“Fine… thank you.” 

“You’re welcome.” 

You grab a couple glasses and the bottle of wine and carry it to the living room with you. You’re kind of shocked he’s here. He’s always flirty in the office, but he’s like that with everyone. He’s not what you’d call friendly otherwise. Maybe he just feels bad for you. 

Javier drops down onto the couch beside you holding two plates with hefty slices of chocolate cake. He hands you one of the plates and a fork. “Happy birthday. I’m not going to make you do the whole candle thing.”

“Thank you, Javier. This is really, really nice.” You feel like you might cry. It’s just cake, but you felt so alone, and it’s like he really saw you. He saw through whatever exterior shell you were wearing and decided to try to make your day better. 

“Just Javi is fine. And it’s not a big deal, really. You deserve something sweet on your birthday,” he says looking down at the cake in his hands.

“It is to me. A big deal, I mean,” you say softly before taking a bite of the cake. It’s nothing special, just a plain chocolate cake, but it means so much to you. 

You and Javier, Javi, chat about where you’re from and how you came to work for the DEA. You tell him about living in Miami, about the promotion that brought you here. You finish the bottle of wine and a couple more pieces of cake and the conversation doesn’t stop for a long time.

Late in the evening, you finish a story about your 6th birthday, one your aunt always told to the whole family every single year at your birthday dinner. He’s sitting close to you, his thigh pressed against yours despite there being plenty of room on the couch to sit without touching. It makes your heart flutter a little. 

You don’t know if it’s the wine or what, but the little crush you have on him is getting pretty hard to ignore. Javi smirks at you, reaches up, and brushes his thumb over the corner of your lip. 

“Got a little icing there, cariño,” he says, his voice lower and huskier than it has been all night. He brings the icing smeared thumb to his mouth and sucks it between his lips. Your eyes track the movement, pupils blowing wide. He really is pretty. 

You feel yourself lean in toward him, almost unconsciously chasing that thumb to his mouth. He brings his hand up to your cheek and searches your eyes for a moment. He must see what he was looking for because he pulls you closer and presses his lips to yours. 

His lips are soft, warm, gentle on yours. You grab his face in your hands, not wanting him to pull away yet. He slips his tongue along the seam of your lips and you part them, letting him in. You’re not sure who makes the move, but slowly, your back is lowered to the couch, Javi a comfortable weight on top of you. Your hands explore his broad shoulders, the muscles of his back, his trim waist, as he plunders your mouth with his tongue. 

“Can I touch you?” He rasps against your lips. 

“You already are,” you giggle. “Sorry. Yes, Javi.” 

He huffs a laugh into your mouth and slips a hand into your lounge pants, fingers finding your dripping seam. “Wet for me already, hermosa?” 

Your cheeks heat up in slight embarrassment, but you nod. You’re soaked just from kissing him. By the feel of him against your thigh, he’s not better off. He pushes two fingers inside you and presses his lips back to yours. You gasp into his mouth, hands fisting in the back of his shirt. 

His fingers immediately find the spongy spot deep in your core. He curls them, dragging the pads of his fingers along your g-spot with every pump of them inside you. You cling tightly to him, burying your face in his shoulder. 

“Come for me, baby.” 

Your body responds to his command instantly, the tension in your belly releasing into waves of pleasure. Your cunt flutters around his fingers and you whine into his neck as he works you through it. You collapse back onto the couch, and he wastes no time dragging your pants off you. 

You hear the clink of his belt opening, the sound of it hitting the floor. You sit up on your elbows to watch him as he strips off the rest of his clothes. You bite your lip, drinking in the sight of the gorgeous man before you. 

He takes your hands in his and pulls you to your feet before pulling your tank top off you. “Shit, hermosa,” he whispers almost reverently as he takes one of your tits in his large hand, rolling the nipple between two fingers. “Gorgeous.” 

 He kisses you again, wrapping his strong arms around your body and pushing his chest flush with yours. “Bedroom, cariño?” 

You walk him back to your room, barely separating your lips from his for the entire journey. You fall back on your bed and he follows, settling between your legs. His lips drag down your jaw line to your neck as he lines himself up with your entrance. Javi sucks a mark just below your collarbone as he slowly thrusts inside you. 

You wrap your legs around his hips and pull him deeper into you, whining at the stretch. “Fuck, Javi.” 

“Working on it, cariño,” he teases as he bottoms out inside you. He pushes himself up on his elbows and stares into your eyes as he pulls out and thrusts back in smoothly. Your mouth falls open, a little huff spilling out as he bottoms out again. He feels so fucking good inside you. 

Javi sets a steady pace, thrusting into you hard and slow, eyes never leaving yours. When your eyes flutter shut and your back starts to arch in pleasure, he slips his arm under your back, pulling your hips higher on his thighs. The new angle is everything. You gasp out a moan every time his cock punches deep inside you.

Javi is everything in this moment. Your world narrowed to the feeling of his cock pounding into you at that same maddeningly slow, hard rhythm. You feel yourself tightening around him, feel a coil winding in your belly tighter and tighter. 

Javi’s lips find yours again with a kiss that’s more a clash of teeth and tongues than anything as you come hard on his cock. Javi lets out a low groan into your mouth at the way you squeeze him. He thrusts into you a few more times, fucking you through your high, before he quickly pulls out and spills all over your belly. 

He rests his forehead on yours for a moment, catching his breath. He kisses you deeply one more time before falling to the bed beside you. Javi pulls you into his arms, not paying any mind to the mess he made on your stomach. He holds you close, kissing the top of your head. 

“Happy Birthday, cariño.”

[creedslove]

DESERVE IT - PART ONE

Javier Peña x f!reader

Summary: you defend Javier after some other agent makes rude comments about his personal life, not allowing anyone to hurt him

Warnings: angst, fluff, mentions of past relationships, mentions of bad relationship, Javi being ashamed and embarrassed

A/N: Just a scenario I had with Javi before bed last night that stuck with me the whole day, so I had to do something about it. And no, no smut for Javi this time 😭

1.6k words

You and Javi were focused on the pictures you received from the informants, watching them closely and trying to draw any detail from them that could somehow help you guys get a clue on Pablo's whereabouts.

You weren't Javi's partner, but since Steve's wife left him, you decided to step in to help out Javi, as he was overloaded with work.

You two had grown closer in the past year, when you moved into the same apartment complex as the other agents did.

You weren't an agent, but you were in charge of supervising all the paperwork and sending it back to the American government.

Javi got closer to you just like he did with every woman: by throwing his charms on you. Which would've worked if you weren't still hurt because of your last bad breakup.

When Javi made a final attempt at seducing you, you were straight up honest with him. You wouldn't jump into his bed because you were still scarred from the last time you allowed someone in, but you assured him you admired him for being honest as well, not playing with anyone's feelings and getting straight to the point.

After that, Javi found a friend in you, and you found a friend in him.

He did everything he could to protect you and you did everything you could to make sure he was safe, you often checked on him, made him meals when you knew all he had was a pack of cigarettes and liquor.

And God, Javier was sweet. He still flirted with you, of course, and you flirted back, he knew you had no intentions of sleeping with him, but it was kind of your thing, he didn't save up any pet names for you. You were querida, cariño, princesa, cielo… you name it. You just felt so at ease with each other.

He was the kind of guy who would leave chocolate on your table or a small flower he found on the street, whatever he saw that reminded him of you. It didn't matter if it was something small, it just made your heart melt and feel welcome there.

You also were aware of Javi's sexual behavior, and not only you, everyone was and you were familiar with his reputation. You knew he slept around, had no strings and even paid for sex, but you never brought it up. Some people called him a manwhore, and though in practice he was one, it never affected how you saw him.

Javi also really appreciated how you never brought it up and on the rare occasions one of the guys from the office made a comment or a joke about his lady friends or his favorite brothel in your presence, you completely ignored it and began talking business instead.

You could tell Javi was trying his best to find something in those photos, but it seemed like a dead end task. So you turned to the pile of paperwork he still had ahead of him and sighed.

"I'll help you with that, Javi… you can take a bathroom break or go for a coffee if you want"

Javier felt his heart clench in his chest at your sweet offer. That wasn't your job, you had no obligation to do that, hell, not even he had the obligation of doing Steve's job but he had to just because he was a little pussy after his wife left him. Javi looked at you for a second, wondering why Steve couldn't be strong like you were. You'd had an awful breakup and though he didn't know the whole story, he knew you enough to assume you just picked up the pieces and started over again.

As if you read his mind, you smiled softly at him "I know you're pissed off at Murphy right now, this is definitely not the best time to have a man down in our team, but cut him some slack. He's going through a real hard time, and a broken heart can really take us down, I know it did when it happened to me, but he'll get over soon" you reminded Javier and placed your hand on his in a comforting way.

You both didn't notice one of the CIA agents approaching your table, and only realized your hands were still touching when the man let out a laugh.

"Y/N and Agent Peña? What is this, holding hands in the office now?" Carlos eyed the two of you up and down and shook his head.

"I can't believe this, Y/N… I expected more from you. You're the office's muñequita. All of us wanted a chance to get you and you go and choose Peña?!" He scoffed.

"You could do so much better than this manwhore, you do know he can't keep it in his pants and all the prostitutes in the country know his name, right?"

You stiffened in your chair and took a quick look at Javi, seeing he gripped the sides of the table to the point his knuckles turned white, he was tense and angry, and yet he didn't dare look up and face Carlos.

It took you a split second to realize Javi was ashamed.

You slammed your hands on the table and got up abruptly, dragging the attention of both men. You stood at full height, though the CIA agent was taller than you, you wouldn't let him intimidate you at all.

"When you say I could do much better do you mean yourself? Because that's hard to believe, Carlos. Not only are you painfully unattractive but extremely stupid and rude" you spat at him "you're married and you chase after women while your wife is waiting for you at home, so I'm guessing you're the real manwhore here. Javier is single and he can do whatever he wants, and trust me when I tell you he does it better than any other man and certainly better than you ever will. Never talk about him like that with your filthy mouth or I swear I'll knock on your door and tell your wife all about your little adventures" you groaned feeling your blood boiling at that whole situation.

It was extremely uncalled for. You didn't care if Javier had troubles with some other agents, he was your friend, he always protected you and took care of you when you needed and you would never admit someone treated him like that in front of you.

Carlos gulped and left without a word. You sat back down and looked at Javi, he finally looked at you in the eyes but remained silent.

"Y/N… I-" he started but you could tell he was still embarrassed about the whole situation so you shook your head.

"I'll finish these tasks at home, can you give me a ride?"

•••

The ride home was silent and you respected that. You weren't sure if Javi got angry with you or if he was just channeling his anger towards Carlos. Either way, you didn't want to bother him.

Javier was still a gentleman and carried the piles of work you both needed to work on. He placed them on your coffee table and sat on the couch, surprising you as you'd figured he'd be back to his apartment.

You got him a drink and one for yourself and you both began working on the paper. He was silent as his eyes scanned the papers even if his brain couldn't process what was written.

"You didn't have to defend me like that, Y/N"

He broke the silence and stared into your eyes.

"Yes I did, Javi. Because you would've done the same for me. Carlos is a pig and he walks around that fucking place as if he was still in high school bullying every one he meets" you told him "he had no right to talk about you like that, and he also doesn't have the right to treat me like that… even if we were fucking, it's none of his business and I don't think you are bad at all"

Javi licked his lips as he nodded.

"About what he said… about me being a manwhore… Do you agree?" He knew he was stepping into a cloudy area, at the same time he wanted to know your true opinion. He was also scared of hearing the truth.

You bit your lower lips and sustained his look for a while, thinking of how to answer his question.

"If you asked me about any other man, you know… my opinion on your…let's call it sexual behavior, I would agree… but I can't when it comes to you, Javi" you extended your hand and touched his arm "what I guess I'm trying to say is that you are different. I like you and I would never look at you differently because of it, I don't think it's a good lifestyle but I won't despise you for that" your hand went for his face, cupping his cheek gently as his sad brown eyes melted you on the inside and out.

"You really think that, hermosa?" You nodded

"I just don't understand why you do it… I mean, look at yourself Javier, you can make any girl weak at the knees, you can have any woman in a heartbeat… I think you deserve a relationship, a wife, kids…. The whole package, Javi. I don't know why you think you don't deserve to be happy, when in reality you are the one who deserves it most"

You leaned in and kissed his lips so softly, at the same time his hands clung to your hips.

Javi's heart was beating so fast at that moment. All of your words, your kiss, your touch and your lips, it all had a deep impact on him. He didn't know why someone like you could like someone like him, but he continued to kiss you, even if he didn't deserve it.

____

A/N: I love Javi, I hope you guys enjoyed it! ❤️

[crowandmousewritingco]

It Began As a Joke

Paring: Javier Peña x gn!reader x Steve Murphy

Words: 1.4k

Rating: P (for porn)

Author: Mod Crow

Summary: It started as a joke, but it's not a joke anymore.

Warnings: Mentions of breeding, face fucking (There are others. 18+ MDNI)

It was originally just a thing between Steve and you. After Connie left to go back to Miami with their daughter, Steve fell into a dark place. The first time the two of you fucked it  was fueled by emotions and alcohol. The second time happened right before Connie had come back. That was also the first time you met Connie, and to say that the meeting went well would be a bold faced lie. You had been sitting on what used to be their couch, wearing one of his old college shirts wrapped in a blanket you had brought with you the last time you stayed at his place.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hearing the door knob jiggle, you assume it’s Steve finally back from the office and the store. Getting up off the couch, you wrap your blanket around your shoulders as you make your way to the door. You make quick work of the locks excited to see him again.  Pulling open the door, you smile.

“It took you lo-” With the door open, you lock eyes with the women before you. You had seen her in pictures that were sparse throughout the place. “Oh you must be Connie.” You chuckled nervously, you knew who she was, and you knew that Steve hadn’t talked to Connie since she left. 

“Who are you? And where’s my husband?” Connie looked past your shoulder, eyes scanning the living room. It was obvious that Steve never mentioned you. 

“Steve had something at the office to do, then he was running to the store. Would you…Would you like to come in?” You stepped aside, the blanket falling off your shoulder. Connie’s eyes looked from the living room behind you, to you, to the now exposed clothed shoulder.

“Are you inviting me into my own house?” If looks could kill, Connie’s glare would have made you drop dead in the doorway. Shoving her way past you, you watch as she examines the space as if she had never been there before. Pushing the door shut, you walked further into the living room. 

“I-I thought you weren’t coming back, neither did Steve or Peña. After you left, Steve spiraled into a dark place. You had just up and left and you left with his kid. I was there for him when you weren’t.” Pulling the blanket back up, you cover your shoulder once more. Looking at Connie, you harden your gaze, if she was going to give you an attitude then why not return it.

“I left with our kid. Steve was putting work above us and the baby, so of course I’d leave. I thought maybe it would make him realize that he needed to put more effort into us. Apparently all it made him do was go out and find a new hole to fuck.” As the last word slithers from her lips you could feel your blood come to a boil almost instantly.

“It wasn’t my fault your husband was a drunken mess. It wasn’t my fault that your husband was convinced he had lost his wife. I didn’t do that to him. You did Connie.” Taking a step towards her you stare at her with unwavering strength. 

Watching as Connie also takes steps toward you, you’re expecting her to argue her side, to fight back in some way, hell, you were even ready to hear her call you every name under the sun. That’s not what happens though. You hear the slap first, then the white hot stinging. In the midst of all the chaos, your brain didn’t have time to register the sound of the door opening behind Connie. Looking back to her, you raise your hand to your cheek. 

“What the fuck is going on?” Hearing Steve’s voice, your eyes snap to him. Watching him walk further into the room, you can see Connie’s expression soften before turning around to look at her husband.

“Steve, thank Christ you’re home. She was insulting me and calling me all these names. She wa-”

“They.” Steve’s eyes snapping to you before looking back at Connie. “It’s them and I’m not that stupid Connie.” Steve’s eyes find you slower this time. When they finally found you, you could see the frustration and anger melt from his eyes. “I heard the slap, I watched as they brought their hand to their face. The face you slapped.” 

“Wh-What? Stephen, what are you saying? You’re willing to throw away our marriage for this…” You look at Connie as she wildly gestures to you, “Thing?” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The things that happened after all of that was kind of a blur. You remember lunging at Connie, you remember managing to get a couple of hits in, mostly to her body, but the few hits that really mattered to you were the punches to her face. One of them blackened one of Connie’s eyes, the other making somewhere in her mouth bleed.

But that was then though. This is now, and right now, you were between Javier and Steve. Steve buried deep inside you, and Javier using your mouth just how he wanted. This whole thing had started out as a passing joke while out one night. You had expected them both to laugh along with you, but you were the only one laughing. You knew that the two of them were imagining the scenario. 

“Fuck baby,” Looking up through your lashes, you can see that Javier had dropped his head down, locking eyes with you, “I don’t think it’s fair you get to fuck them. Their pretty little eyes are practically begging for me to fuck that lovely hole of theirs.” You felt him reach down and tangle his fingers in your hair, holding your head still so that he could fuck your mouth. With every thrust his cock his the back of your throat causing you to gag every time.

“Too bad Peña, only I’m allowed to breed this pretty hole.” You felt Steve grip your hips tighter as a mumble string of curses fell from his parted lips. “A real shame you don’t get to feel how tight they squeeze when they gag.” You could hear the smirk in his voice and normally it would make you roll your eyes, but all you could do was gag and moan on Javier’s cock. With every thrust made you squeeze around Steve more and more as you felt the heat in your stomach climb. “If you keep that up baby, you’re gonna make me cum.” Taking that as a sign, Javier became rougher, only making you squeeze Steve tighter. 

Feeling Steve’s thrusts become erratic you knew he was close and based on the way Javier was now moving he was too. Without warning -even if you could have said anything- you slam yourself back on Steve as you cum. Javier finished not too long after, and Steve was the last one to cum. 

As both pulled out, you collapsed to the mattress below. Panting, you close your eyes and listen to the two of them walk around the bedroom. The first thing you feel is a cool wet cloth gently cleaning you up. The next thing you feel is the blanket being pulled over you. The last -and your personal favorite- thing you feel is the bed dip beside you. Rolling over to face the body, you open your eyes. Though it isn’t Steve you see, it’s Javier. Feeling the bed dip behind you. Looking over your shoulder you watch as Steve situations the pillow.

“S-Steve is Javier staying?” Your voice hoarse from Javier’s fucking. You watch as Steve nods before laying down beside you, wrapping an arm around your waist. Laying down beside Steve, you feel Javier do the same, his arm wrapping around your waist just above Steve’s arm. Closing your eyes you take a deep breath, Javier’s smoky scentmixing with Steve’s woodsy musk almost making your head reel.

“You should get to sleep. We have a long day tomorrow.” You could hear the smirk in Javier’s voice. 

“Shut up Peña, but he is right baby. We do have a pretty long day tomorrow.” You feel Steve press a gentle kiss to the back of your head. Humming out tiredly, you mumble a soft ‘good night’ to the two of them. You had no idea what tomorrow held for you, but that was a problem for you to deal with later.

Credit: @inklore

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[pasc4lfuzz]

me vuelves loco

pairing: javier peña x f!reader a/n: i've tried writing before, but every time i've tried and even posted, i've deleted it after less than a week because i didn't like what i'd written. I don't know if I'll regret this one-shot after a while and end up deleting it, but I hope you like it. ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE!!!! summary: During the DEA New Year's party in colombia javi can't take his eyes off you. rating: MATURE! MDNI warnings: flirting, heavy make out, alcohool, remembering sex (i think this would be the right term lol) word count: 3.5k dividers by @/saradika-graphics

December 31st and you and the DEA still haven't caught Pablo Escobar, and so goes another year of hard work, always getting close to the goal but never quite finishing. As always, on New Year's Eve, the DEA throws a party for its employees. Last year you didn't feel like going, you preferred to stay at home, you, a bottle of wine, a plate of pasta alfredo and the TV on. 

You were immersed in your own thoughts for a long time as you sipped your wine, reminiscing about everything you did last year, especially your mistakes, how many times you and your partners were close to catching the head of the cartel and something went wrong, taking you back to the beginning. But that didn't even come close to occupying your mind during the night, definitely not, in your head there was only Javier Peña, that man with the broad shoulders and slutty waist, the way his thight jeans hugged his legs and ass, the cheesy grin he did when he hears the sound of your heels through the office. But surely one of your biggest mistakes - or the one you try to convince yourself was a mistake - was having sex with Javier. You didn't want to be another notch on his belt, but (un)fortunately you ended up giving in, but how could you not? 

That night you were going over some files with Javi in his apartment, glasses of whiskey on the coffee table, some papers lying on the sofa and on the floor, Javis eyes every few minutes on you, admiring you, flirting with you until you couldn't stand it. Suddenly you remember Javier's lips where in yours kissing you hungrily, his tongue searching for yours while their hands stroked from your waist to your ass and their hands tugged at your hair. You remember everything down to the smallest detail, the way he kissed your whole body, the feeling of his tongue flicking your clit, he tasting your pussy like a starving man. The weight of his body on top of yours and how your inner walls hugged his cock in every thrust, his groans and whispers praising you were echoing in your mind, and you realize, you've got it bad for Javier Fucking Peña.

So this year you've decided to go to the party, maybe you'll meet someone important there, get more contacts to help with Escobar's case. Work, work, work, that's all there was to your life lately, stressing you to the limit many times, you saw things and situations you'd never forget, but in the end you told yourself the same thing, in the end I'll have helped a lot of people, and that's all you wanted. As well as thinking that going to the party will help you at work, a week earlier Connie Murphy was at your apartment, your partner Steve's wife met you by chance in the building that the DEA had made available to the agents when you were coming home from work with Steve and Javi, and since then you've become friends. 1 week ago, the night Connie came to your apartment to have dinner and talk, she mentioned the party and said she was going with Steve and asked you if you were going.

"I don't know Con, I was thinking of going but... it's not really my scene" You say sighing and throwing your head back on the sofa, wiping your hands across your face "Maybe there I'll be able to talk more to some people from the Embassy and-" You're interrupted by Connie waving her hands and starting to talk.

"No, no, no, that's enough work talk and work thinking" Connie puts her hand on his shoulder, making him look at her "You work too much, you put all your time and effort into the DEA, I understand that it's supposed to end all this madness once and for all, but I think it's best if you give it a rest, you know." 

Her gaze gradually calms you down, your shoulders relax and your posture is no longer rigid from all the stress you've been going through lately.

"Think of this party as an escape from your problems, there won't be any narcs there for you to worry about, and I'll be there too," Connie says winking in your direction, eliciting a huffy laugh that shakes your head.

"Yeah, I'll go, at least I don't have to drink my own wine" You shrug letting out a sly smile.

The atmosphere in the main hall where most people were meeting is buzzing with energy and excitement. The vast space is adorned with shimmering decorations, exuding a bit sense of luxury, besides this was a DEA party, some colombian politicians were there making presence. Soft, warm lights bathe the room in a flattering glow, casting a sophisticated aura over the gathering. Lively conversations fill the air, complemented by the soft tones of a electric guitar, bass and a woman singing beautifully playing in the background. You're wearing a pearly white satin dress that goes all the way down to your heels, your make-up is simple but your lips are a deep red.

You pass some of your coworkers doing a fast small talk in pursuit of your goal of getting to the bar counter. There are at least 3 people in charge of making the drinks and preparing the drinks that are ordered, you give a friendly smile to the man who approaches you on the other side of the counter asking if you would like anything. You quickly look at the drinks menu and order a Cosmopolitan. 

This isn't one of the best scenarios you could imagine yourself in, you barely enjoy going out for a happy hour after long hours at work, let alone a New Year's Eve party with almost everyone you've worked with. You blame Connie, who, by the way, you haven't seen until now, while your eyes slowly wander around the room watching the others chatting and smiling. One of your favorite pastimes is:

observing.

Many times have you found yourself late at night when you couldn't sleep at your window, feeling the soft caress of a refreshing breeze that carries a subtle hint of the surrounding nature. The gentle touch of the air eases the sticky, humid air that normally hangs heavily in the Colombian nights, providing a respite from the tropical heat that characterizes this part of the world. Colombia wasn't a city that never sleeps like New York or a night city like Los Angeles, but there was a bit of movement at night, and you love watching people pass by and guessing where they're going, who they're meeting or how their day went. And now it's no different.

You're immersed in your thoughts, your attention going from person to person analyzing their features and posture, some with fake smiles just to please the rest around them, others very excited about the turn of the year with a fresh start, and a good number of the people you work with exhausted, just wanting this drug war to end.

Your trance is interrupted when you hear a familiar voice in your ear.

You knew that voice very well.

A voice that sends your heart racing and your spine tingling with anticipation.

It's Javier, his voice velvety, sultry, and more than enough to send shivers down your spine, awakening a deep sense of longing that you find both thrilling.

“Hermosa, I didn't expect to see you here” 

You turn your head to the right and see Javier Penan, leaning slightly with his right arm on the counter, with that smirk in his face that drives you crazy- NO!

You hate it.

“Peña.” You give him a slight nod and pick up your Cosmopolitan, which should have been sitting there for at least two minutes while you paid attention to your surroundings. 

You feel Javier's gaze travel slowly from the top of your head to the tips of your toes, as if he were taking in every aspect of you. His eyes travel with an almost tangible intensity, like a physical caress on your features. You can practically feel the way his gaze follows the outline of your hair, pauses to appreciate the shape of your face and then moves down, lingering on the curves and lines of your body. The way he looks at you is almost hypnotic, as if he's trying to memorize every inch of you.

“You look stunning,” he says, and you feel your heart skip a beat as his eyes meet yours once again. Those warm, brown puppy dog eyes that you had thought could see right through your soul.

You feel exposed, laid bare under his gaze, like a book open for inspection. There's a spark of mischief in his eyes, as though he's enjoying the effect he's having on you, and he leans in a bit closer, a hint of a smirk playing at the corners of his lips.

“You don't look so bad yourself,” I reply, quickly looking him up and down. The suit he's wearing hugs his body perfectly, emphasizing the broadness of his shoulders, and making it hard not to appreciate the way it shows off his physique. I can see the strength in his frame, the way his shoulders bunch up as he rolls them back, and the way the fabric stretches over the muscles of his arms. My eyes dart back up to his face, where his mouth curves into a small, wry smile, the look in his eyes almost smug.

“Like what you see?” Javier winks at you and you take a big sip of your drink, breaking eye contact.

“you wish” I roll my eyes placing the drink down ”have you seen Connie?”

“Hm yeah she’s actually with Steve talking with Noonan” He points to his partner and his wife talking with the ambassador.

“Excuse me Peña.” You say walking away from him, you can feel his eyes glued in your ass, watching the way your hips sway as you walk through the room.

As the night wore on,you were engaged in a conversation with Connie and started to question your decision to listen to her.

"Connie, I think I'm leaving now," you said, finishing the last sip of your drink as your eyes scanned the room.

She gasped, clearly not believing what you were saying. "No, no, no! We discussed this already. If you leave, you'll be all alone on New Year's," she exclaimed.

You nodded, replying, "That's exactly what I had planned, just like last year."

“No, come on stay for me, soon Steve is gonna start getting sleepy and i would get bored” Connie waits for your response.

You close your eyes taking a deep breath before answering a simple “Fine” and Connie smiles at you.

“I’ll get you another Cosmopolitan” Connie leaves towards the bar to get you the drink she promised.

As you patiently wait for your friend and your drink, you couldn't help but take another look around the room. This time, you noticed something you hadn't before - a nearly closed door. Intrigued, you couldn't resist exploring further, walking towards the door and gently pushing it open.

Behind the door, you found yourself in a cozy little library, filled with books and the faint scent of old paper. As you walked along the shelves, your eyes scanned over various titles until something caught your attention - your favorite book.

There it was, standing out among the others, and your heart skipped a beat out of excitement. You eagerly pulled it out from the shelf and held it in your hands, feeling a sense of comfort and nostalgia wash over you.

“That’s a good one.” A voice behind you echoes through your mind, of course it's Javier.

You turn around looking at him trying to hide your emotions from the guy that little by little was stealing your heart, and that scared you. You shouldn't feel that way about him, you know very well that Javier Peña doesn't do relationships.

“Didn’t know you read.” You say sarcastically putting the book back in its place.

“Oh please, I know I'm not the most intelligent man but sometimes I read.” He says while slowly walking towards you, it’s like your body is calling him.

"Anyways, it's a classic, of course it's good," you say with a hint of excitement. Without realizing it, you start to passionately ramble about the book, your words flowing effortlessly as you speak.

"I mean, just the way the author captures the essence of the characters' development throughout the story, the way the plot unfolds, the way the conflict is resolved - it's all so brilliantly done. And don't even get me started on the writing style!" As you finally finish your passionate ramble about the book, you suddenly notice Javier's gaze fixed on you, almost as if it was burning through your skin.

"Why did you stop?" he asked, taking a few steps closer, his eyes never leaving yours.

“I…” You can’t trust your own words at this point, afraid you’ll say something that will fell wrong.

A shiver ran down your spine as Javier spoke in a low, sultry tone, his words sending a warm sensation coursing through your body.

"I don't think you realize this," he continued, his voice dropping even lower, "but you literally become ten times sexier when you talk about books."

“Stop right there Peña” You put your index finger in his chest “I know where you tryna get from this, and im not ending up in your bed” 

“Hermosa” Your heart skipped a beat as Javier pulled you closer, your bodies now touching, his whiskey breath hot against your face. "Believe me," he murmured, his voice dropping to an even huskier tone, "I'm not just trying to get you in my bed. You might not believe this, but I really like you."

A wave of heat washed over you as you looked up into his eyes, wondering if there was more to  his words than just a line. And he was right, you didn’t believe him at all.

“Doesn’t seem like it” You murmur

Javier's gaze deepened as he looked into your eyes, his voice still carrying that sultry undertone. "I like the way you prefer tea over coffee," he began, the words coming out slowly and intentionally, "and how you always drink your jasmine tea in our office. The smell of it wafts through the room, constantly reminding me of you. And your laughter, it sounds like a 5-year-old's - innocent and carefree. But it brings a smile to my face every single time I hear it."

As you giggled and shyly looked away listening to him list the things he liked in you, Javier's smirk widened, his fingers gently catching your chin and turning your face back to him.

"Yes, that's the laugh," he repeated, a hint of amusement in his voice, "the one I was talking about. It's infectious, you know."

Your eyes get lost in his, it’s almost like you can see and learn everything about him just by looking at his brown chocolate eyes. Javier's lips left a trail of gentle pecks on your cheeks, while his words echoed in your ears, sending a surge of heat through your body.

"I like it when you let your hair down," he murmured, "but I also like it when you tie it. I like it when you speak in Spanish," another kiss on your other cheek, "and most of all, I love the way you talk about the things you love."

As his lips hovered millimeters away from yours, leaving you yearning for more, you couldn't resist any longer.

The moment your lips met, an explosion of sensation took over. It was a hungry and passionate kiss, filled with months of built up tension and desire. Your grip on Javier's neck tightened as you pulled him closer, your bodies pressing against each other. His hands found their way to your hips, holding you tight as the kiss deepened. Tongues danced in a greedy, desperate dance, exploring each other's mouths as if trying to devour one another.

It was like an explosion of feelings all together, you felt like your heart could jump out of your chest at any minute. 

Sure you’ve already shared a few kisses with him, but it was always with a second intention, just like that one night you never forget. But this is different, the kiss was slow and deliberate, every movement filled with emotion and desire. Your lips moved in tandem with each other, exploring every inch of the other's mouth. A soft moan escaped your lips as Javier's tongue traced along your lower lip, seeking entrance. You granted it willingly, allowing him to plunge deeper into the recesses of your mouth. The kiss was hungry, but it was also tender, a perfect blend of love and excitement.

You feel your back against one of the bookcases as Javier kisses you more and more. Your hands pull his hair and massage his broad shoulders.

As you pulled your head back, gasping for air, Javier instinctively tried to chase your lips, unwilling to break the connection. He opened his eyes and couldn't help but let out a low growl at the sight of you biting your bottom lip, your eyes still closed in the aftermath of the passionate kiss.

As you opened your eyes and caught sight of his smile, something in your heart flipped, and you knew you were in too deep. "I believe you," you whispered, holding his face gently in your hands, your thumbs gently caressing his jaw.

"But if you really want this," you continued, your voice firm yet tinged with a hint of vulnerability, "you have to try not to mess things up. I'm willing to give you a chance, but I need you to promise me you'll be careful with my heart."

Javier's smile widened even further as you spoke, his heart swelling with a mixture of relief and affection. He leaned into your touch, savoring the feel of your thumbs caressing his jaw, and he nodded in agreement.

"Don't worry, hermosa," he murmured, his voice softer and more genuine than you had ever heard it before. "I won't mess this up, I promise. I'm all in."

Without missing a beat, your lips crashed into each other once more, the passion and intensity of the moment taking over. The world around you faded away as you both become lost in the kiss, the hunger for each other growing stronger with each passing second.

As the kiss deepened, you found yourself pressed up against the shelf, Javier's body pinning you against it as his hands roamed over your body, touching every inch of exposed skin. His lips moved from your mouth to your neck, leaving a trail of hot, hungry kisses along the sensitive flesh. Your bodies instinctively moved closer, creating a delicious friction that sent waves of desire coursing through you. The kiss grew more intense, full of passion and need, as your hands became tangled in his hair, pulling him impossibly closer.

As your fingers tangled in his hair and he continued to kiss and bite at your neck, an unexpected moan escaped your lips. You tried to bite your lip to hold it back, but the sensation of his lips against your skin was too overwhelming to contain. This only fueled Javier's desire, and he let out a low growl in response, one hand on your hips and the other one on you inner thigh pulling your right leg up to his waist.

A shiver ran down your spine as Javier's breath tickled your ear, his hot whispered words sending a thrill of pleasure through your body. "I forgot one thing," he murmured, his teeth gently biting down on your sensitive earlobe. "I love when you moan for me."

His body was still pressed against you, pinning you to the wall, and you could feel the effect your moan had on him, the tension and desire in the air palpable.

Just as Javier's lips were about to descend onto yours once more, the sound of an unwelcome voice called your name, breaking the spell. You both froze as the door handle turned, the wood moving just a fraction before it swung open.

Connie stood in the doorway, her eyes widening in surprise as she took in the scene before her.

"What are you doing - oh my god," she gasped, quickly shutting the door again.

Javier takes a few steps back running his hand through his hair as you smoothed your dress. “Connie?” you ask behind the door and open it seeing her holding your drink. “I… I took a little longer to grab your drink and then i was gonna hand it to you but you weren’t there anymore so i looked for you and-” She spoke nervously trying to process the moment she had just seen. “Ok hm thanks for it by the way” you grab the drink from her hands taking a sip before looking quickly at Javier.

“It’s almost midnight by the way” Connie says leaving the library.

You felt a pair of warm, strong hands gently gripping your waist from behind. Javier's hot breath sent a shiver down your spine as he leaned in close, his lips ghosting over the sensitive flesh of your neck.

"Come on, I want another reason to kiss you," he murmured, his voice low and seductive.

[writing-my-time]

Good Morning

Pairing: Steve Murphy X F!Reader Word Count: 1.5 Warnings: 18+, no plot, consensual somnophilia unprotected sex, light creampie mention. Author’s note: Started writing this about 4 months ago. Stuff happened. Came out the closet (again). Thought I should get around to writing again.

“Well, look at you.”

It’s not a sight he expected. To come home well past midnight to see you like this was a treat, to say the least. You, on your back; naked and dozing, warmed by nothing other than the blazing Colombian heat. At some point in your sleep, you’d kicked off the blanket, exposing yourself to the arid air, and subsequently him in the process. He wants to let out a low whistle, or give your ass a gentle love tap, but he can’t. That’d wake you up, and while a sleepy kiss to welcome him home sounds nice, Steve has other plans. Tonight is the perfect time to do something he’s always wanted to try. Months ago you’d spoken about it. You’d even woken him up a few times with some of the best head of his life, but he had yet to return the favor.

Steve pulls off his tie, discarding it to the floor where the rest of his clothes quickly end up following. For once, he doesn’t bother to put them in the hamper. Not when you’re laid out this bare and beautiful. He’s careful when his knees first hit the mattress, crawling up at a slow pace. For a moment, he simply gazes at your sleeping form, smiling at the way your face twitches in your sleep. What are you dreaming about, he wonders. Your home? Your work? Him? Christ, does he hope it’s him. He cards a hand through his short hair, sweat now beginning to bead at the roots. Heat or not, he wants you. His palms grip the undersides of your thighs gently, ever so slightly spreading you open so he can nestle between them. As soon as he leans down, his eyes close, as if needs to shut out every other sense for the moment when his lips meet the apex of your thighs. 

“Jesus, sugar.” He whispers against you. “You’re so beautiful.”

Your flavor burns onto his tongue as soon as he gives the first kitten lick. Dainty and sweet, just to test the waters. A satisfied hum comes from deep within his throat. A smug grin pulls onto his face, only growing as he hears you quietly whine in your sleep. With his big hands still on the fleshy meat of your thighs, Steve continues. At first he keeps up with the delicate licks. Each draw of his tongue only barely nudges at your clit. You stir, he stops. He’s not quite ready for you to wake up yet, especially not when you’re so pliable in his hands. It’s dizzying, the way your brows twitch, even in your sleepy state. Tiny mumbles escape you, each getting more needy than the last. Every sound and every movement urges him on. Steve groans as he spreads your needy lips just a little further apart, letting him lap at your core with flat stripes. He’s eager now, becoming bolder and bolder with every stroke of his tongue.  

He kisses down your thighs as he pulls away. Steve sits back on his haunches. His face glistens, your juices dripping off his mustache. A sweaty palm drags over his even sweatier brow. It’s only then does he notice the way his cock is standing to full attention, weeping at the tip and bobbing in time with his heartbeat. How you manage to do this with nothing in return is beyond him. Not with how his cock begs, bobbing in time with his rapid heartbeat. He drags his rough tongue over the chapped surface of his lips, biting back the urge to rush. With one hand, Steve grasps himself. One, two, three tugs and he's oozing gooey slick onto himself. A hoarse grunt escapes him, filled with need. Salvation won’t come with his hand.

“Gotta take you now, baby."

Not a request, but not an order, either. Steve leans over, placing one steady hand beside your head, the other guiding himself to you. His aching tip nudges at your slit, parting the spit-ridden folds with ease. He swallows, brow twitching. Warm and wet and perfect. He sinks in. It’s a slow push to the hilt. Almost agony as your awaiting walls flutter around him. Your face twitches, lips parted from soft snores, now broken as his invasion continues. Hips against hips. Body against body. Steve lingers against you, still buried deep. You squeeze him tight, even in this state. Christ he could stay here forever. It’s why easing back takes just as long to do. His eyes are transfixed on the space between you, watching with perverted ecstasy as the same walls that swallowed him are now barely kissing his tip. 

“Jesus.” He whispers, dropping his head as he catches your wetness glistening off his shaft.

Steve stays still for a few more seconds. Slow, he tells himself. Delicate. Heat and passion was his style. Not necessarily rough, but definitely not gentle. But he can’t be like that. Not now. He wants to teeter the line a little longer, wanting to see how far he can take you without you waking. A breath, then he pushes back inside. Each slow, languid roll of his hips has Steve dizzied. Pure ecstacy courses through him as he feels you flutter around his thickness. He can tell you're close to waking, that familiar crease between your knitted brows tells him all he needs to know. Leaning down, Steve presses a chaste kiss to your neck. It earns a sweet hum as you shift into his weight.

“Well hello.” You mumble, stretching out your arms as a wry smile pulls at your lips. “Having fun?”

“A lot, yeah.” A raspy hum, his mouth still trailing up the soft column of your neck. The words aren’t poetic, but they’re earnest, and hardly hold a candle to the extent of his desire.

He furthers his proof by rolling his hips, and your legs instinctually wrap around him. There’s a raspy quality to your whines, evidence of the sleep that had possessed you only moments prior. Steve loves it. He grins to himself as your lithe body curves so nicely into his. You match his lazy movements as the groggy fog lifts. A soft moan echoes out in the dimly lit room. Your breaths intertwine as your foreheads meet. Sweat and spit combine, morning breath on your tongue, cigarettes on his. Steve doesn’t mind; never has, never will. His Adam’s apple bobs in his throat as he holds on so desperately.

You aren’t much further behind. All the work of his rough tongue has your clit throbbing. A pulse that’s borderline morse-code. Both your hands sling around his neck, while both of his twist in the pillows. You’re both caged into each other’s embrace. Panting, moaning, needing. He kisses up your throat, stubble grazing on your soft skin. Teeth find your earlobe. Steve exhales.

“Touch yourself for me, babe.” He urges, voice almost breaking under his own impending release. “Not gonna last.”

You obey, hastily bringing your hand between your sweat-laden bodies. Soft curls meet softer fingertips as you glide between your folds. A gasp escapes you at your own touch, harsh swirls on your stiff bud. Steve’s lazy thrusts build with haste, eliciting a sweet slapping of skin that echoes around the room. Wet shlicks fill your ears, your own arousal exposed every time he slams home. The other hand digs into his back. He grunts, you whine. Burning hot need pools in your stomach, the familiar knot threatening to snap. As your gummy walls clamp down tight, Steve has to hold himself back. Not yet. Not until you’re milking him dry. His lips press into the crook of your neck, and he swirls his tongue along your jaw.

“Come on, baby.” He rasps, desperation bleeding through every rough pant. “Need you to come.

Again, and again, and again, you rub faster, picking up speed until pure bliss fuzzies your vision. You arch your back, and Steve grins against your collarbone. Though, it’s short lived pride. His cock twitches on the next thrust, suffocated by your squeezing heat.

“Where do you want me to-”

“In me. In me, in me, in me-”

Steve cuts off your pleading with a rough kiss. A deep, chesty moan escapes from deep in his throat. All the while, his tip weeps inside of you, unrestrained in his eagerness. Hot white ropes spill forward, painting you from within as his thrusting gives out. His hips slam against your thighs in one final effort to chase his high. You shudder once he pulls out. Slick release pooling between your thighs and onto the sheets, sinking in the fabric until a wet patch forms. Steve pants harshly, dragging his lips from your own, all the way down to your sternum.

“Good morning.” He slurs, resting his head on your chest with a lazy smile.

“Morning, babe.” You reply, kissing his hairline with a small hum.

[couldsewyouastitch]

Things Left Unsaid [Javier Peña]

pairings: javier peña x f!reader wordcount: 2.3K ish warnings: strong language and profanity, sexist and misogynistic comments/workplace harassment, mentions of the hair lenght, references to violence and blood, implied trauma and PTSD, references to drug trafficking and criminal activity, sexual objectification, mild sexual content/references, descriptions of emotional distress, references to guns/weapons, smoking, cursing...

a/n: i wasn't sure if i wanted to post this because i am my own worst critic and i kept telling myself that i am not good enough to do so... but this was something that is somewhat inspired by a real event with real people, and i had to come to terms with knowing about it on one way or another... thanks to @thundermartini for reading the first draft and leaving me the most amazing message in my inbox after that. anyway, you know what to do, read, love, hate, like, reblog, send me a message, tell me what you think, comment...

main blog: savedyounine | discord: saveyouanine

masterlist

The house slouches on the block like a forgotten drunk. Tired. Unremarkable. Just another weary face in a city that’s seen too much. The pale blue paint peels in long, curling strips, exposing the wood beneath like old scars. A rusted metal gate leans off its hinges. The porch light flickers weakly. An afterthought. A dying firefly no one bothers to swat away.

It doesn’t call attention to itself. It doesn’t need to. Just another forgotten place in a city full of them.

Inside, the air is dense, weighted with old cigarette smoke and the scorched bitterness of coffee left too long on the burner. The walls have absorbed it all—years of nicotine, restless nights, and the kind of exhaustion that doesn’t fade, no matter how many hours of sleep one steals.

The overhead light buzzes, flickering at odd intervals, just enough to set your nerves on edge. Typewriters clatter—a mechanical heartbeat—while the wiretap machine hisses and spits out fragments of conversation. Men speaking in low, measured tones. Sicarios making arrangements. The price of a shipment. The price of a man’s life. Women with no names who belong to no one but get passed around anyway.

A burst of laughter cuts through the static—loud, careless. The sound of men who will never lose sleep over the dead.

Javier Peña leans against the kitchen counter, a cigarette hanging loose between his lips as he absently jabs at an omelet that’s already past saving. The eggs are burning, edges curling black against the scratched pan, but he doesn’t care. He’s only cooking because his stomach has been clawing at itself for hours, and the fridge holds nothing but warm beer and instant coffee. 

From the doorway, Steve Murphy watches Javier like he's watching a car wreck in slow motion.

"That smoke alarm’s gonna go off again." His voice is flat, tinged with something between amusement and resignation. 

Javier draws on his cigarette. Exhales through his nose. Waves the spatula at his partner without looking up. 

“Disconnected that piece of shit weeks ago.”

Murphy exhales, a sound caught between a snort and a sigh. “Of course you did.”

Javier glances at him, grinning around his cigarette. “You act surprised?”

Steve opens his mouth as if to answer, but stops when you walk in. 

Mariposa.

Javier never says the name out loud. Never lets it slip. He isn’t even sure where it came from—just that it stuck, somewhere in the back of his mind. Soft where everything else about you is sharp. A joke, maybe. Or irony. Because you don't fit the name. Don’t fit something delicate, something that belongs in sunlight. Not in this place. Not in this life.

You move through the room like you’re both there and not, like a ghost dragging its chains. A stack of files sits under one arm, paper edges curling like they’ve been handled too much. Your newly shorn hair sticks up in uneven tufts, and even now, the sight of it still throws him. Because he used to spot you instantly in a room full of men—just a glance, just the way your long hair caught the light. Now? Now you blend in. Disappear. 

But you weren’t always like this. 

A few weeks ago, they pulled you out of a raid looking like something that had been left behind in the wreckage. Blood poured down your face, dark where it mixed with sweat and dirt. And Javier has seen a lot of things—bad things, ugly things—but something about that has hit him sideways. Twisted something deep in his gut.

The bastard who grabbed you had gone for your hair first. Wrapped his fist in it, yanked you back so hard your spine arched, gun pressed against your temple. A good grip. A solid hold. Later, you told him—in that flat voice of yours, the one that makes everything sound like an afterthought—that it was just instinct for men like that. No different from grabbing a bitch by the collar.

What you didn’t say, but what he could see clear as day, was how much it had gotten to you.

Javier's thoughts come to an abrupt stop when an agent across the room calls out to you, “Nice haircut!”

You don’t even glance up. Just flip open a file and mutter, “Go fuck yourself.”

Javier exhales smoke through his nose, watching you without watching you. There’s something tight in his chest, something that hasn’t loosened in all the time since. He doesn’t touch it. Doesn’t acknowledge it.

Just like he hadn’t that night.

The night you cut it off.

No.

The night he cut it for you.

You had come to him, silent and hollow-eyed, knees pulled to your chest as you sat on the floor of his apartment. The scissors had been clenched in your hands, your grip too tight, like you were trying to find the nerve. And Javier had stood there, looking down at you, still seeing you the way you had looked after the raid—blood smeared across your face, dirt smudged into your skin, silent in a way that had scared him more than your scream ever could.

“Cut it off,” you had said, voice raw. “Please.”

So he had.

He had crouched in front of you, taken the scissors from your hands without a word. Hadn’t asked if you were sure. Hadn’t tried to talk you down. Just ran his fingers through your hair one last time, slow and deliberate, committing it to memory. And then he had begun cutting—the sharp snip of the blades the only sound between you.

And he had taken his time. Made it even. Made it right.

As much as he could, at least.

You hadn’t sobbed. Hadn’t shaken. Just sat there, unblinking, as the pieces of your old self had fallen away.

And Javier had wanted to say something. Should have said something. Something solid. Something that wouldn’t have sounded cheap coming out of his mouth.

But there had been nothing.

So he had kept cutting. Kept working until there had been nothing left to take.

After a moment, he had exhaled, set the scissors down, and run a hand over the uneven strands.

“Come on,” he had muttered.

You hadn’t asked where he was taking you. Just let him lead you to the bathroom. Let him nudge you to sit on the edge of the tub. He had turned on the faucet. Tested the water with his fingers. Tipped your head forward over the sink.

Javier had worked in silence, fingers gentle as he had rinsed the stray strands from your skin, as he had lathered government issued soap into the uneven remains of your hair. He had been careful, methodical, like it had mattered that he got this part right.

When it had been over, he had grabbed a towel and pressed it into your hands. Walked out without a word.

Now, you keep it short.

No more easy handholds.

Smart.

“—shit, I’d still fuck her.”

Vargas’s voice drags Javier out of the memory like a fist to the ribs, sharp and uninvited, yanking him back into the stale air of the office.

Javier barely holds back a sigh. 

Here we go.

"Not like she’d let you, pendejo," Reyes mutters, shaking out a cigarette and flicking his lighter open with a practiced motion. "She’d probably bite your dick off."

"Nah," Vargas continues, flipping through his notepad, his tone as casual as if he were discussing the weather. "These hardass bitches? Always the ones that like getting roughed up."

A low chuckle rolls through the room, loose and unbothered. Even Murphy, usually the one to step in, only shakes his head, offering nothing more than the faintest look of distaste before turning back to his work.

No one stops it. No one ever does. It’s just how men like them talk. Because the only woman in the office only gets to be one of two things—off-limits or fair game.

Javier flicks his cigarette into the sink, watching the ember sizzle against the metal. He could tell them to shut the fuck up. Could knock Vargas’s teeth through the back of his skull just for the hell of it. But he doesn’t. Not because he agrees, not because he doesn’t care but because he knows exactly how you would feel about it.

You would hate it.

The last thing you want is a man standing up for you like you need protecting.

So instead, he exhales slowly and mutters, "You should probably worry more about getting your dick wet at all, Vargas."

Laughter erupts around the room, and just like that, the subject changes.

Javier lets himself glance your way.

You don’t react. Don’t flinch, don’t frown, don’t even pause as you flip through the file, turning each page with careful, measured precision. But he catches it anyway—the slight tension in your fingers, the way they press just a little too hard against the paper’s edge.

And then, for the briefest second, you look up.

There’s nothing at first. No acknowledgment, no irritation, no gratitude. Just a glance, cool and unreadable. But beneath it, something lingers—a flicker of understanding, maybe. Or something close enough to it.

Then it’s gone. You turn another page, as if nothing happened.

Later, as you pass his desk, you drop a folder in front of him without a word.

Javier doesn’t move, doesn’t look up right away. But he notices—because he always does—that the hand resting on the edge of his desk is steady again.

—

After, when the house becomes unbearable—when the clatter of typewriters grates against his nerves and the air turns thick with stale cigarettes and too many bodies in too small a space—Javier steps out onto the back porch.

The heat is a living thing, wrapping around him, pressing against his skin, damp and relentless. He rolls his shoulders, but it doesn’t shake loose. 

Something sweet and rotten lingers in the air. The mango tree in the yard, branches heavy with overripe fruit, drips sickly-sweet decay.

He hates that smell. The way it clings, the way it turns the air thick.

He flicks his lighter open, flame sparking in the dark as he raises a cigarette to his lips.

That’s when he sees you.

You’resitting on the steps, knees drawn up, arms looped loosely around them. From behind, you could be anyone—just another agent taking a breather, trying to shake off the weight of the job.

But Javier knows better.

He debates turning around, giving you space. You’ve been on edge, more than usual. Snapping at people. Keeping your head down. Like you’re waiting for someone to reach for your hair again.

And that’s when you shift, just slightly, and the light from the house catches on her cheek.

A streak of wetness.

Fuck.

Javier exhales, slowly, then moves.

He doesn’t speak, just lowers himself onto the step beside you, leaving enough space so it doesn’t feel like a question. Close enough to be there, far enough to let you breathe.

And for a while, neither of you says anything.

The night settles around you—cicadas, a dog barking somewhere down the street, the distant crackle of a radio inside. The air still carries that sticky-sweet rot from the mango tree, heavy and cloying, making it feel like the night itself is pressing down on you.

You shift slightly, arms tightening around your knees. Then, almost absently—

"It’s worse at night."

Your voice is quiet, like you aren’t even sure you meant to say it aloud.

Javier rolls his cigarette between his fingers, watching the ember flare and fade.

"Yeah." His voice comes out rougher than he means it to. "I know."

You let out a short breath—not quite a laugh, not quite anything.

"Yeah," you murmur. "I guess you do."

Neither of you fills the space that follows. The silence stretches, not awkward, just thick with something unspoken. A car rumbles past somewhere beyond the trees, the faint thump of a radio disappearing as quickly as it came. The sounds of a city that doesn’t give a shit about either of you.

You exhale slowly, pressing the heels of your hands against your eyes for a second before dropping them.

Your voice is quieter when you speak again, "Does it ever stop?"

Javier takes a drag, lets the smoke sit in his lungs before exhaling. He doesn’t answer right away. Not because he’s trying to be profound, but because he honestly doesn’t know what to say.

Eventually, he settles on the truth.

"It gets quieter."

You turn your head slightly, looking at him out of the corner of your eye, like you’re trying to gauge whether that’s supposed to be comforting. It isn’t. You both know it.

But after a moment, you nod.

That’s all.

Inside, Murphy’s voice cuts through the quiet. "Javi, new intercept. You’re gonna wanna hear this."

Javier stubs out his cigarette against the step, grinding the ember to nothing before standing.

He hesitates—just for a second—then holds out a hand.

You look at it, then at him. Not like you don’t know what to do, but like you’re measuring something. Like you’re seeing the line between you, thin and fraying.

Then, slowly, you place her palm in his.

It is cool. Rough in places. The faint ridge of a scar beneath your thumb. A callus from your trigger finger.

He memorizes the feeling before you pull away.

Without a word, you step past him, disappearing into the house.

Javier watches you go.

Mariposa.

You’ll never be his. Not in the way that matters.

But in the ways that count? Javier wants to believe you already are.

[jennaispunk]

Just Another Saturday Night....

Note: Happy Valentine's Day Ali @pedgito. I'm your Space Sisters secret Valentine!!! I hope you enjoy it!

Summary: Javi invites himself to help you babysit for Steve and Connie on Valentine's Day. What happens between you is completely unexpected.

Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader

Warnings/Tags: fluff, sexual tension, kissing, touching, Valentine's Day, friends to lovers, language (Javi, who else?), brief smoking, brief alcohol consumption, mutual pining, no significant age gap, brief use of Spanish, Javi and reader work in the same building but aren't co-workers. Reader understands Spanish, Reader is shorter than Javi and has hair long enough to tuck behind her ear, no other physical description of reader is given. The photos in the moodboard are for aesthetic only.

Word Count: ~5.5k

Other notes: This is my first published fic so please be nice! I am beyond nervous about putting this out there.

Special Thanks to @sawymredfox for the amazing moodboard, @beefrobeefcal for your advice, and @fallingforthearch for beta reading and squealing about this with me.

Divider by @saradika-graphics

It seemed everyone in this damn building was talking about their plans for Valentines Day. Everyone except for you. Today was just a normal Thursday. You shook your head, trying to clear your mind as you made your way through the bustle of the DEA headquarters. There was no use in giving it any more thought. Love was overrated anyway, right? You dropped off some paperwork to the director’s secretary and headed back to your own desk in the Embassy. The clacking keys of typewriters and sharp ringing of telephones hummed around you as you crossed the room, and you narrowly avoided a collision with an agent with his head stuck in file.  The sound of your name being called across the bullpen made you stop in your tracks.

You scanned the room to see Steve Murphy, smiling at you from his office door. You smiled warmly in return and made your way over to him. Steve and his wife Connie had welcomed you with open arms when you first arrived in Colombia. They had taken you under their wing and the three of you had become close over the last 6 months, frequently sharing dinners at their apartment with their adopted daughter, Olivia, and occasionally Steve’s partner, Javier Peña.

Javi….he was always an enigma to you. He was handsome and a shameless flirt. He was quick with a line and a smile, and he used it to his advantage. There wasn’t a woman that worked in this building that hadn’t been subjected to his charms, and you were no exception. Of course, you had a thing for him. How could you not, with his aquiline nose and pouty lips that just begged to be kissed.  You’d spent enough time with him to know him pretty well, but he held you at arm’s length, never letting you get too close. He seemed content to keep it that way and you let him. It’s not like you actually had a chance with him anyway.

“Hey Steve, what’s up?” You studied him as he grinned at you in that goofy way he always did. That smile reminded you of your brother and it made you miss him. Maybe you should call him and check in.

“I need a huge favor.” he asked with a soft smile.

You groaned softly. You hoped Connie wasn’t trying to set you up on another blind date. The last one was an absolute disaster.

“I don’t like the sound of this.” Your eyes narrowed. “What did you do this time?”

He chuckled and crossed his arms across his chest. “I didn’t do anything. I need a babysitter on Saturday. I was able to score reservations at that new restaurant downtown for Valentine’s Day. Connie’s been dying to try it since they opened, and I thought that it would be a nice surprise for her.”

You chuckled softly. “And you thought that your little spinster friend would be free on the most romantic night of the year?”

“You just haven’t mentioned any one special lately, so I thought you’d be free.” He cocked his head. “Why are you calling yourself a spinster, anyway? You’re gorgeous.”

The familiar combination of cigarette smoke and aftershave hit your nostrils before you saw him, and your breath hitched. Steve’s eyes darted over your shoulder, and you followed his gaze. “Ain’t that right, Javi?” The turquoise button-down shirt and tight dark wash jeans accentuated his biceps and his cinched waist. Javi appraised you, arching his brow and quickly raking up and down your body. “Sure, you’re at least a 7, princess.” He teased in the way only he could, flashing you that grin that made your knees weak. Your hands curled into fists at your sides.

Princess. That word single handedly made your blood boil and your stomach flip at the same time.

“Thanks, Javi.” you shot back, rolling your eyes.  He moved closer to Steve’s office door, crowding you with his broad frame. “What are you two talking about anyway?”

“I’m trying to get our friend here to babysit for me and Connie on Saturday.” Steve grinned, his puppy dog eyes staring you down.

“I’ll babysit for you.” You said. “I’d love to spend some time with Olivia.”

Javi wasted no time and butted in. This was his chance to get you alone and he was going to take it.

Javi smiled, his eyes dancing. “Why don’t I join you? I don’t have any plans for V-day either. What’d ya say, princess? Want some company for babysitting duty?”

Your words failed you and you just looked at him, your eyes wide.  His chocolate chip eyes stared down at you, waiting for you to speak.

“Ummm….” You stammered, your nails digging into your palms. “Sure. Why not?”

He gave you a crooked grin and nothing else.

“What time do you need me?” Your head swiveled back to Steve.

“Six o’clock?”

“I’ll be there.” You flashed a quick smile and turned on your heels.

“See ya then, princess.” Javi shouted to your retreating form.

You knocked on the apartment door at 5:50 pm, tapping your foot rhythmically as you wait. Olivia’s laughter seeped through the door and the tension drained from your shoulders. Connie’s smiling face greeted you a moment later. “Thank you so much for watching Liv for us.”

“It’s no problem at all. You know I love spending time with her.” You smiled warmly at her and walked over to the couch, making yourself comfortable. “You look amazing, by the way. You’re going to have to let me borrow that dress sometime.”

Steve came around the corner bouncing Olivia in his arms while she laughed. The sight made your chest tighten. “Look who’s here, Liv.” The little girl gave you the biggest smile and you stood to take her from her father’s arms.

“We’re going to have a lot of fun tonight, huh?”

Olivia giggled and grabbed for your necklace.

You and Connie chatted idly, while Steve headed into the kitchen. A knock on the door interrupted the conversation.

“Hey, Javi!” Steve ushered him into the living room.

Javi’s eyes settled on you, his hands clenching into fists then relaxing. His chin jutted forward almost imperceptibly. Even in a simple T-shirt and jeans, you still managed to make him want you even though he knew he shouldn’t.

Why did he have to wear that plaid shirt? You thought to yourself as he sat down in the armchair adjacent to the couch. The red and white plaid shirt stretched across the broad expanse of his shoulders. Your heart began to beat a little bit faster, and you bit the inside of your cheek.

“Babe…. we’d better head out or we’re going to be late.” Connie stood and you watched as Steve helped Connie with her coat. He wrapped his arms around her from behind and nuzzled her neck. You sighed quietly and looked away.

“Have a great time.” You take Olivia’s hand to wave at her parents. “Bye Mommy and Daddy.”

Connie leaned down and kissed Olivia’s cheek. “Be good for your Auntie and Uncle.” She looked at you. “Call us if you need anything.”

“There’s beer in the fridge.” Steve said, his eyes darting between you and Javi. “You two behave yourselves. That’s a brand-new couch you’re sitting on.” He wiggled his eyebrows.

The click of the door latching echoed in your ears, making you painfully aware of the fact you and Javi were alone. The television droned in the background as the two of you looked at each other.

“I…” you both start. The sound of your combined nervous laughter made Olivia join in with her own forced laugh, breaking some of the awkward tension that had been building between you. Your eyes snap back to Javi as he clears his throat.

“You first.” His lips lift into a crooked grin.

“I was just going to say that I’m surprised that you were serious about babysitting with me tonight. I thought you’d have a hot date tonight.” He hadn’t mentioned that he had been seeing anyone lately, but maybe he was just keeping it quiet for now.

His throaty chuckle filled your ears. “Why would I want to shell out big bucks on Valentine’s Day when I get to have two pretty girls all to myself tonight?” He teased. His trademark smirk flashed across his face, but his eyes betrayed him with a softness that made the blood rush directly to your cheeks. His eyes flitted away from yours.

You opened your mouth to ask him what he was about to say but Olivia had other plans. She grabbed at your shirt and let out a whine. You realized she was probably hungry. Connie had told you she’d prepared Liv’s dinner and put it in the fridge. “You hungry, bug?” Her babbles confirmed your suspicions, and you sat her on the floor in front of her toys while you warmed up her dinner.

Although the night had started awkwardly, you and Javi settled into comfortable conversation. The pizza he’d ordered had just been delivered and you put Olivia in her highchair with her own dinner in front of her.

“The pizza here is good.” You told him as he took a bite of his slice, “but it’s got nothing on the pizza back home.”

His brow arched. “Oh yeah?”

You never talked about your home much. The subject never really came up in conversation between the two of you.

“Yeah.” You said with a smirk. “There’s this small pizza joint there…. It’s the best pizza in the world. I would fight anyone on that.”

The sound of his chuckle reverberated through your entire body and his eyes settled on you. “That’s pretty big talk, maybe I’ll have to try it sometime.” He finished his slice and wiped his hands on a napkin. “Anything else special about your hometown?”

You told him more about your hometown, and he told you about Laredo as you finished eating. Olivia, never one to sit still for long, voiced her impatience and you lifted her from her highchair.

“I’ll clean up.” he volunteered, causing you to raise your eyebrows.

“Don’t look so surprised.” he smirked.

You laughed and adjusted Olivia on your hip. “If you insist. Liv and I will be playing in the living room.”

You spread some toys out on the living room floor and sat Olivia down. You stretched out on the floor, stacking some blocks in a pyramid. Olivia babbled and knocked them down, causing you to laugh softly. The sound of his footsteps made you both look up at him. Olivia grabbed a block and held it out to him. “You want Uncle Javi to play? Say ‘Come play with me, Uncle Javi’” Your eyes drifted up to meet his, your eyes twinkling at the double meaning behind those words.

Javi’s hands immediately went to his hips, his left knee jutting out slightly. His eyes darkened as his tongue pressed against his cheek. His eyes darted to the floor then back at you. You smirked as he turned away, your confidence soaring at the fact that you’d managed to rattle him, even if it was only a little. “Maybe Uncle Javi needs a minute.”

Javi stood with his back to you, willing himself to calm down; He wasn’t a man to get flustered easily. The idea of playing with you made him hard. He thought about football…..the amount of paperwork on his desk….anything to stop thinking about you.

A few moments later, he spun back around with the cool, confident mask firmly back in place. He didn’t acknowledge what had just passed between you and you let it slide, not wanting to push your luck. He sat down on the floor with you and picked up a block, smiling at Olivia.

The three of you played on the floor, you and Javi taking turns with the blocks and watching Olivia squeal with delight as she knocked them down. You wondered if you would ever have this……the man and the baby. Maybe it wasn’t in the cards for you. Maybe you were always meant to be on the outside looking in.

Olivia’s yawn snapped you from your thoughts. You smiled as Olivia pouted and rubbed her eyes. “Looks like someone’s getting sleepy.” You sat up and gathered the little girl into your arms. “Let’s get you to bed, little one.” A warm feeling flowed through you as Olivia nestled her head into your shoulder. You cuddled her closer, relishing the feeling of someone needing you.

As you walked the hall to her room, she began to cry. Soft sobs filled your ears, and it broke your heart. “Hey, it’s okay babygirl.” You tried your best to soothe her as you bounced her lightly in your arms. Her sobs only grew louder as you paced her room, murmuring soft words into her ear. It seemed the more you tried, the louder she got. You tried everything you could think of, but nothing seemed to help. The sound of her cries made your stomach drop. You tried to think about what Connie would do if she were here as Olivia’s wails grew even louder. “I know I’m not your mama, but I’m trying kiddo.” Panic gripped you as you struggled to calm her. It shouldn’t be this hard to calm a crying baby, right? You couldn’t just let her continue to cry like this, you had to do something, but you were at a loss. Tears stung your eyes as you desperately racked your brain for the magical solution to your problem.

Javi silently watched you as struggled in vain to soothe Olivia. The nightlight in the corner cast a soft glow over you, highlighting your features in a way that made his breath catch in his throat. You looked beautiful holding a child in your arms, even if that child was currently wailing in your ear. It reminded him of a life he could have had if he had done things differently. A life that he still wanted but was afraid to reach for. He lived in a dangerous world, and he couldn’t ask someone, ask you, to sign up for that; but fuck if he didn’t want to.

“Do you think I could try?” Javi’s voice carried over the sound of Olivia’s cries. A wave of relief washed over you as you saw his unmistakeable frame leaning against the doorway.

“Please….” You said as you handed Olivia to him. “I’m out of ideas.”

“What seems to be the problem here, bebecita?” he cooed. “Did your auntie pinch you?” He chuckled softly at his own joke. Olivia wailed even louder, clearly not impressed by his attempt at humor.

You leaned against the wall as he paced the small room, bouncing the Olivia in his arms. He spoke to her softly, murmuring sweet words in Spanish. Olivia seemed to respond to him, her wails lessening in intensity. The tension you were holding in your shoulders began to slowly melt away and you closed your eyes.

“Duermete mi nino (sleep my child)…..duermete mi amor (sleep my love)…..” Javi crooned quietly.

Your eyes immediately snapped open. He was singing to her. Your chest tightened as the words of the lullaby floated to your ears. Holding a baby looks so good on him. The tenderness in his voice was unexpected and you ached to know that side of him. The image of Javi holding a child the two of you created danced in your head as he continued to sing slightly offkey. You tried to shake the image from your head, but it was no use, it was seared into your brain.

“Duermete pedazo de mi corazon (sleep little piece of my heart)….” Olivia was fast asleep on his shoulder by the time he finished the song. He gently laid her in her crib, covering her with a blanket. He looked to you, pressing a thick finger to his lips and motioned toward the door. The two of you quietly crept out of the room, closing the door behind you.

You couldn’t wipe the smile from your face as the two of you plopped down onto the couch.

“Why are you smiling like that?” He asked. His eyes held a look you’d never seen from him before.

You shifted uncomfortably in your seat, the heat rising to your cheeks. “What are you talking about?”

He smirked at you, making your face heat up even more. “You know exactly what I’m talking about, princess. What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?”

You looked away for just a moment before meeting his gaze again. “You were so good with her. Where did you learn to do that?” His smile made you want to lean in and kiss him, but you held back.

“I grew up in a large family, lots of cousins. There were always babies around.” His eyes fell to the floor. “My mom used to sing that song to me and my little sister when we were little.” The raucous melody of the cartoons you had on for Olivia cut sharply through the sudden shift in your conversation.

“It was a beautiful song.” You offer, not knowing exactly what to say. That was the most personal thing he’d ever shared with you. The silence lingered as you struggled to come up with the perfect thing to say to cut the tension in the room. “Even if it was offkey.”

His eyes jerked up to meet yours, his signature smirk plastered to his face. “You think you could do better?” he teased.  Laughter drowned out the din of the television. “Probably not.” You admitted.

You let go of a breath you didn’t realize you were holding. Your heart raced a little bit faster at the realization of how close you came to confessing your feelings. Did you see something in his eyes before he looked away? You couldn’t be sure, and you certainly weren’t going to ask. You settled back into your seat on the couch and searched for the remote. “I don’t know about you, but I’ve had enough cartoons for a while.”

Javi’s large hand engulfed the remote as he held it up. “Found it.” You immediately reached for it, but he held it out of your grasp. “Finder’s keepers, princess.” he teased. “I’m choosing what we watch.”

Your bottom lip jutted out and you narrowed your eyes. For a split second, you contemplated trying to fight him for it, but your head won out in the end. Sinking back into the couch, you admitted defeat. “Fine” you pouted, “just don’t pick anything stupid, okay?”

He laughed, the sound filling your stomach with butterflies. The smirk plastered to his face as he started flipping channels.

“I’m grabbing a beer.” You stood from the couch, stretching your arms above your head. “You want one?”

You notice his eyes on you and quickly lowered your arms, suddenly aware that your shirt was riding up, giving him the perfect view of your stomach.

He noticed that you noticed, and he cleared his throat, dragging his eyes away from your body. “I’d love one, thanks.”

Javi let out a deep breath. He’d come so close to telling you how much he wanted you. He wanted to take you in his arms and show you just how deeply he felt for you. That was his plan when he showed up tonight, but now that he was so close to you; he was chickening out. He’d only hurt you in the end, he’d find a way to mess it up.

You returned with two cold beers, and you offer him a bottle. Your fingers brush against his, sending sparks through your body. Settling back into the couch, you tucked your legs under you and took a long drag from your bottle. The cool liquid slides down your throat easily as you try to focus your attention on the television. He finally settled on something and leaned back into the couch. His legs deliciously spread wide, dangerously close to yours despite the distance between you. The heat was radiating from his body, and you struggled to maintain your focus on the movie he chose.

The two of you watched in silence, drinking your beer. It’s comfortable in a strange way and you find yourself wanting more of this. Just being in each other’s presence, not needing words. You could almost imagine this being a normal evening at home, curled up next to him on the couch with your head on his shoulder.

His laugh snaps you from your thoughts. Your attention is drawn back to the movie and it’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever seen.

“You actually like this movie?” You grimace at the absurd scene on the screen.

“How can you not like this movie? It’s a goddamn classic!” He took a long drag from his beer and peered at you over the bottle.

Your brow furrowed. “That’s debatable, but whatever you say, Javi.”

“Just give it a chance, princess. It gets better, I promise.”

A playful scoff erupts from your lips. “It better or I’m never letting you pick the movie again.” The heat rises to your cheeks again. This isn’t a date and your eyes dart toward him to see his reaction. His eyes were focused on the screen, but his moustache twitched slightly. You bit your lip and prayed he wouldn’t say anything. He didn’t but you could’ve sworn he moved a little closer to you.

The credits had barely started to roll when you snatched the remote of his thigh. “My turn!” Your lips curve into a playful smirk as you point the remote at the television. He reached for the remote and you swat his hand away.

“Oh….so that’s how it’s going to be.” He smirked back at you.

You weren’t going to back down, even though you knew he could easily wrestle it away from you if he wanted. “Yep.” You responded; the cockiness dripped from the word.

His jaw twitched and his eyebrows raised. Without warning, he leaned forward and grabbed for the remote. You stopped him with a hand to his chest and tsked. “Didn’t your mother ever teach you to share?” she teased. His eyes narrowed as you laughed.

“You’re asking for it, princess…..I fight dirty.” A devilish smirk formed on his lips.

“Ooooh, I’m so scared.” You rolled your eyes knowing that the size difference between you meant you didn’t stand a chance but part of you wanted to see what he would do.

Without warning, he pounced. He reached out for the remote again and somehow you kept it just out of his reach. The sound of your laughter filled the room. His tongue darted out to wet his full lips and then he descended on you.

He grabbed you by the waist and tickled you. Your shriek pierced the silence, and you covered your mouth to keep from walking up Olivia. He was relentless as he leaned into you, pinning your back against the armrest, tickling you mercilessly. You pulled your hand away from your mouth, laughing and struggling to breathe.

“Javi, please….” you laugh as you squirmed in his grasp.

“Oh, now you want mercy?” he teased, tickling you even harder with a smirk on his face.

“Okay, okay. You win. I give up……I give up!” Your breath is ragged, and tears leak from your eyes from laughing so hard.

You suck in a deep breath as he finally stops tickling you, but he doesn’t move away. He had you caged in with his muscular arms.  He just stared at you, and you found it impossible to hold his intense gaze. You can feel the heat radiating from his body. His lips, so soft and full, were close enough to yours to feel his breath against your cheeks. His hand cupped your cheek and suddenly his lips were on yours. You froze, unable to process what was happening and he pulled back. His brow furrowed and his brown eyes searched your wide eyes.

“What are you doing?” You weakly croaked out.

Javi chuckled softly and smirked. “What does it look like I’m doing?”

Your face burns with heat. What an idiotic thing to say. Of course you know what he’s doing. What you want to know is why, but your pride keeps you from asking. You already knew the answer.

“Haven’t you noticed the way I flirt with you is different from the way I flirt with the other women at the office?” His voice is low and husky and for once he’s the one having a hard time keeping your gaze.

You shook your head slowly and your brows furrowed. Maybe you had noticed, but you thought it was because he could never possibly be interested in you romantically. You never let yourself entertain the thought of him wanting you in that way.

“It’s because you’re not like them, princess…. you’re different.” The corner of his mouth twitched into a crooked grin. He gently tucked a strand of hair behind your ear.

You blinked rapidly, thinking that you’re imagining this. You’ve been wanting to hear these words for so long. Suddenly, it feels like all the air has been sucked out of the room and your lungs fight for oxygen.

“Javi….” He immediately cut you off with a finger to your lips.

His Adam’s apple bobbed, and he exhaled loudly through nose. He shouldn’t tell you this, but it’s too late. He’s already kissed you once and now he wants more; he’s too far gone.

“Just let me say this, please.” You watch his eyes close for a moment, then open again; His brown eyes intensely focused on you. “I have feelings for you, princess……. I want to give you everything.” His eyes narrow slightly. “Would you give me that chance?” His voice is pleading, bordering on desperate.

You nodded, too overwhelmed to speak. You had wanted this for so long and now it was finally happening. The slight hum from the baby monitor filled the room as you continued to stare at each other. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed, his tongue darted out to wet his lips.

His thumb brushed your bottom lip as he looked into your eyes. Your skin tingled with the sensation, and you somehow resisted the urge to take the thick digit into your mouth and suck it. The rise and fall of your chest matched the pounding of your heart as he slowly leaned in and captured your lips with his.

His tongue touched your lips, and you parted them without a second thought, allowing him access to your mouth.  

This feels like heaven. You had dreamt about what it would feel like to kiss him and the reality is better than you could have ever imagined. His kiss was surprisingly gentle, his soft tongue probed your mouth with a quiet intensity that made you throb for more.

His large hand cupped the back of your head as he gently pushed you down into the couch. His breath was quick and heavy as he leaned into you. His nose pressed against you as he deepened the kiss, pushing you further underneath him.

The rest of the world was completely forgotten as you pulled him even closer to you, snaking your fingers into his dark hair. Your tongues danced to a perfect rhythm as you both lost yourself in desire.

His hand found the hem of your shirt and his fingers slowly crept under the fabric. A soft moan escaped you as he finally came into contact with your bare skin. His calloused fingers skated across the smooth skin of your stomach, brushing across your ribcage, moving higher at a painfully slow pace surely designed to drive you insane.

The taste of the cherries mixed with the bitterness of the beer on your lips made his head swim. The way you had parted your lips for his tongue......God, he wanted to devour you. He wanted to take you right here on this couch and claim you as his.

He settled into the cradle of your thighs, his growing bulge pressing firmly against your aching heat.  “Fuck, cariño.” The words left his lips in a breathy whisper, the want blanketing you like a thick fog blinding you to anything other than him. Your tongue licked into his mouth hungrily, almost desperately. His tongue pushed back against yours with equal force, letting you know  he was just as much into this as you were. The ornamental clock on the wall ticking to the pace of your breathing as you fell deeper under his spell.

Javi’s thick fingers traced the lace of your bra, the thin material leaving little between his hand and your skin. Your breath faltered as his thumb brushed across your nipple until it sharpened under his ministrations. He quietly moaned his approval into your mouth along with a more forceful thrust of his tongue. Your back arched, pushing your body into his hand…..the desire pooling at your core.

Neither one of you heard the click of the latch as the front door swung open.

“Oh, fuck!” Steve’s voice brought you both crashing back to reality.

Javi’s head snapped up, his eyes wide and mouth agape. You scrambled out from underneath him, tugging at your shirt in a desperate attempt to cover up.

Steve chuckled and shook his head. His eyes danced between the two of you and he smirked. “I knew you two fuckers wouldn’t be able to keep your hands off each other.” His keys clanked against the bowl, and he shot a glance at Connie trying to suppress her giggles. “There better not be any cum stains on my couch.”

Javi’s jaw twitched as he moved away from you but otherwise, he was the picture of calm, not a shred of embarrassment shown on his beautiful face. You, on the other hand, were a different story. Your face burned as your eyes bored holes into the floor. You couldn’t even bring yourself to look at Connie or Steve, even though the smile on your face could have lit up the darkest night. You were embarrassed about being caught but you didn’t regret a single moment of what happened between you and Javi on that couch. You swallowed your feelings of embarrassment and lifted your chin. You weren’t a teenager who’d just been caught making out with your boyfriend by your parents, you were an adult and you had nothing to be ashamed of.

“Did you enjoy the restaurant?” You asked Connie, changing the subject to calm your racing heart.

“Oh my god, it was amazing! The food was ridiculous. You would love it.” Her eyes darted to Javi and the subtle raise of her brow didn’t go unnoticed by you.

“I’m glad you had such a great time.” The two of you chatted briefly about how Olivia did throughout the night. Your eyes darted toward Javi and Steve, the two of them engrossed in their own conversation.

You grabbed your purse and called out to Steve, telling him you’d see him at work on Monday.

“Do I see double dates in our future?” Connie asked quietly as the two of you hugged.

You laughed softly. “Maybe?” Your eyes darted to Javi and the two of you locked eyes for a brief moment.

Your eyes drifted back to the couch. The heat of the moment you and Javi shared spreading through your body like smoldering embers. Your eyes fell on Javi one last time, his lips twitched into a crooked grin.

“I guess I should get out of here too.” Javi clapped Steve on the shoulder. “I’ll walk you out.”

He pecked Connie on the cheek and opened the door, allowing you to exit first. His hand rested gently at the small of your back as he guided you toward the stairs.

“You know, Valentine’s Day isn’t over yet Princess.” Javi whispered in your ear, his breath hot against your skin.

The warmth of his hand at your back made your skin tingle. “No, I guess it’s not.” Your lips twisted into a small smirk.

When you reached your car, he grabbed you by the waist spinning you around to face him, his eyes intense with desire. “I’m not ready to stop celebrating.”

Your breath hitched in your throat as he pressed his body against yours. “Me either.”  He leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to your lips before pulling away just enough to look at you.

“My place.” His voice was rough with desire. It wasn’t a question; it was a statement.

You slowly nodded, not wanting to seem too eager. He brushed his lips against yours one last time before releasing you from his grip and walking toward his own car; pausing momentarily to tilt his head to light a cigarette.

Was this the start of something? You had no idea…..but you were damn sure going to find out.

[andy-15-07]

Anchored Hearts

Pairing: Javier Peña x Reader x Steve Murphy

Word Count: 1914| requests are open (send requests, I will gladly answer them all)

Pedro Pascal Masterlist

The stale office air clung to Javier's clothes, a grim reminder of the long hours they'd spent dissecting Escobar's latest move. He glanced at Steve, who was nursing a lukewarm coffee, his eyes bloodshot. "Another all-nighter, huh?" he sighed, rubbing his temples.

Steve chuckled, a weary sound. "Wouldn't trade it for the world, amigo. Not with you two by my side." He gestured towards the door with a tired grin. "Let's get some sleep. Y/n's probably worried sick."

Javier nodded, a familiar warmth spreading through him at the mention of Y/n. He couldn't wait to see her, to feel her arms around him, to lose himself in the comfort of their shared bed.

As they stepped into their apartment, the sight that met them sent a jolt of unexpected tenderness through them. Y/n lay sprawled across their bed, a rumpled sheet pulled half-way down her shoulder, her hair a wild halo around her face. She was fast asleep, her chest rising and falling in a gentle rhythm.

Steve let out a soft whistle, a grin splitting his face. "She looks like an angel."

Javier couldn't help but agree. Y/n, with her messy hair and a mischievous smile that could melt glaciers, was the most beautiful woman he'd ever known. He felt a surge of protectiveness, a fierce need to shield her from the darkness that clung to their lives.

"She must have been exhausted," Javier murmured, his voice rough with sleep deprivation. "Poor chica."

Steve moved towards the bed, his gaze lingering on Y/n's peaceful face. He reached out a hand, gently tracing the lines of her cheek. "She works too hard, you know," he said softly. "Always putting everyone else first."

Javier nodded, his heart aching with a mixture of love and concern. Y/n was a force of nature, a whirlwind of energy and compassion. But sometimes, he worried that she pushed herself too hard, that she didn't take enough time for herself.

"We need to take better care of her," Javier said, his voice low. "Spoil her rotten, make her happy."

Steve grinned, his eyes twinkling. "I'm all for that. Maybe we can start with a proper breakfast in bed tomorrow."

Javier chuckled, the tension of the past few days finally beginning to melt away. "Now that's an idea I can get behind."

They stood there for a moment, watching Y/n sleep, a comfortable silence settling between them. It was a rare moment of peace, a fleeting glimpse of the life they longed for – a life filled with love, laughter, and the simple joy of being together.

Later, as they slipped into bed beside Y/n, her sleep-muddled murmur greeted them. "You're back," she mumbled, snuggling closer to Javier.

"We are," Steve replied, his voice a low rumble. "And we missed you."

Y/n stirred, her eyes fluttering open. "Did you have a long day?" she asked, her voice still thick with sleep.

"Very long," Javier admitted, pulling her closer. "But it was worth it, now that I'm here with you."

Y/n smiled, her eyes crinkling at the corners. "I missed you too," she whispered, reaching for Steve's hand. "So much."

Steve leaned down and kissed her forehead. "We missed you more," he murmured, his voice husky.

Y/n snuggled between them, her body fitting perfectly against theirs. "I love you both," she whispered, her voice barely audible.

"We love you too, mi amor," Javier replied, his voice thick with emotion.

As they drifted off to sleep, the weight of their worries seemed to fade away. They were safe, they were together, and for the first time in a long time, they felt a sense of peace.

The next morning, true to his word, Steve made breakfast in bed. Pancakes piled high with fruit, steaming coffee, and freshly squeezed orange juice. Y/n, still half-asleep, giggled as they showered her with affection.

"You two are spoiling me rotten," she murmured, her eyes twinkling.

"That's the idea," Javier replied, grinning. "You deserve it."

"And what about me?" Steve asked playfully. "Do I get any spoils?"

Y/n grinned, reaching for him. "Of course you do," she whispered, pulling him down for a long, lingering kiss.

As the days turned into weeks, their lives began to settle into a new rhythm. The constant threat of Escobar's violence still loomed, but they found solace in each other's company. They spent their evenings curled up on the couch, watching old movies, their laughter filling the apartment. They went for long walks on the beach, hand in hand, the sound of the waves washing away their anxieties.

One evening, as they sat on the balcony, watching the sunset paint the sky in hues of orange and purple, Y/n turned to them, her eyes serious. "I know this isn't easy," she said, her voice soft. "Living with the constant fear, the danger..."

"It's not," Javier admitted, his gaze fixed on the horizon. "But it's worth it. Worth every single risk."

Steve nodded in agreement. "We have each other," he said, his voice firm. "And that's all that matters."

Y/n smiled, reaching for their hands. "You're my family," she said, her voice thick with emotion. "The only family I need."

Javier pulled her close, his arms wrapping around her. "We're family," he echoed, his voice rough with emotion. "Always."

As the sun dipped below the horizon, casting long shadows across the city, they held each other close, their hearts filled with a love that transcended the dangers that surrounded them. They knew that the road ahead would be fraught with challenges, but they also knew that they would face them together, hand in hand, their love an unwavering beacon in the darkness.

Weeks turned into months, and their bond deepened with every passing day. Then, one morning, Y/n woke up with a strange fluttering in her stomach, a feeling she couldn't quite place. It wasn't the usual pre-coffee nausea, this was...different. A faint suspicion bloomed in her mind, a suspicion she confirmed later that day with a trembling hand and a little plastic stick.

She waited for Javier and Steve to come home, her heart pounding with a mixture of excitement and trepidation. How would they react? This wasn't exactly part of the plan. But as soon as they walked through the door, she knew she had nothing to worry about.

"You're back late," she said, trying to sound casual, but the tremor in her voice betrayed her.

Javier, ever perceptive, picked up on it instantly. "What's wrong, mi amor?" he asked, his brow furrowed with concern.

Y/n took a deep breath and held up the pregnancy test, the little pink plus sign screaming its message loud and clear. "I think we're having a baby," she whispered, her eyes shimmering with tears.

The world seemed to stop for a moment. Then, Steve let out a whoop of joy, scooping Y/n into a bear hug. "We're going to be dads!" he exclaimed, his voice thick with emotion.

Javier, momentarily stunned into silence, finally found his voice. He pulled Y/n close, his lips finding hers in a kiss filled with love and wonder. "A baby," he murmured against her lips. "Our baby."

The news of the pregnancy brought a new wave of emotions – joy, fear, anticipation, and a profound sense of love. Y/n, initially overwhelmed, soon found herself embracing the changes in her body. Morning sickness, though unpleasant, was a constant reminder of the miracle growing within her. Javier, ever the attentive partner, would bring her ginger ale and crackers, rubbing her back until the nausea subsided.

Steve, meanwhile, became a self-appointed guardian angel. He insisted on carrying her groceries, insisted on extra pillows for her burgeoning belly, and even took over the cooking, his culinary skills surprisingly impressive. He'd spend hours reading aloud to her, his voice a soothing balm against the anxieties that sometimes crept in.

As the weeks progressed, Y/n's belly grew, a living testament to the life they were creating. The kicks and flutters became more pronounced, turning her body into a symphony of movement. Javier would often place his hand over her stomach, marveling at the life within, a tear sometimes escaping his eye.

One evening, while attending a prenatal yoga class, Y/n felt a sharp pain, a sudden tightening in her abdomen. Fear gripped her, but she tried to remain calm, focusing on her breathing. Later, at the hospital, the doctors diagnosed her with Braxton-Hicks contractions, a common occurrence during pregnancy.

The incident, however, served as a stark reminder of the fragility of life, the precarious balance between joy and fear. They discussed the possibility of relocating, perhaps to a quieter place, away from the constant threat of violence. But the thought of leaving their work, of abandoning the fight against Escobar, filled them with a sense of unease.

Despite the anxieties, they cherished every moment. They attended prenatal classes, read countless parenting books, and even started decorating the nursery, painting the walls a soft shade of blue. Javier, ever the pragmatist, insisted on installing extra security measures in their apartment, while Steve, ever the optimist, focused on creating a warm and loving environment for their child.

Finally, the day arrived. Y/n, exhausted but exhilarated, gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. They named her Sofia, a name that echoed with the hope of a new beginning. As they held their daughter in their arms, their hearts overflowed with a love they never knew existed.

Life with a child was a constant juggling act. The demands of the investigation, the ever-present threat of danger, the joys and challenges of parenthood. But through it all, their love remained their anchor, their guiding light.

The small apartment, once filled with tension and exhaustion, now echoed with the laughter of a toddler. Sofia, with her curly hair and sparkling eyes, was the heart of their world. Javier, who once thrived on stoicism, melted at her giggles. Steve, who never thought he'd have the patience for children, was now the king of tea parties.

One rainy afternoon, Javier sat cross-legged on the floor, a small plastic tea cup balanced precariously in his large hand. Sofia sat across from him, her tiny brows furrowed in concentration as she "poured" tea into his cup. "More, Papi?" she asked with a grin.

"Por favor, princesa," Javier replied, his deep voice softened with affection. He leaned forward, pretending to sip the imaginary tea. "Exquisite, as always."

Steve walked in, arms crossed, a smirk on his face. "You realize you just called her invisible tea 'exquisite,' right?"

Javier shot him a mock glare. "Better than your cooking."

Sofia squealed in delight as Steve dramatically clutched his chest. "That hurts, Javi. Truly."

Later that evening, Sofia demanded a bedtime story. Steve and Javier took turns, their voices weaving through tales of brave knights and clever princesses. Sofia's little head rested against Y/n's shoulder, her tiny hand clutching Steve's finger while Javier stroked her curls.

"Goodnight, my loves," Y/n whispered, her heart full as she looked at the two men who had become her everything and the little girl who completed their world.

As the years went by, moments like these became their anchor. Sofia's first steps were met with cheers and tears. Her first word—"Papi"—left Javier speechless and Steve teasingly jealous. She brought light to their lives in ways they hadn't imagined possible. And as she grew, so did their unwavering bond, a family built on love, resilience, and the promise of always facing the future together.

[icanbringyouinhot]

Take something bad and make it into something good - Chapter 2

Paring: retired!Javier Peña x F!reader

Summary: After leaving Colombia, Javier slowly but surely slides into a post-burnout depression that he tries to self-medicate with alcohol and self-imposed exile. However, his friend Steve Murphy and his wife Connie are not having it. Turns out, their endless nagging got him in a very interesting situation that turned out to be exactly what he needed. (Though, he’ll never admit they were right.)

The song of this chapter: Breakers by Local Natives

Warnings: mentions of trauma, PTSD, depression, alcohol abuse, smoking, very brief, very vague mentions of blood, death, political injustice, Javi being a total fluff ball of insecurities. No physical descriptions of the reader. No smut (yet?). Lemme know if I forgot something.

Word count: 4k (last chapter literally said double it and give it to the next one)

A/N: Since Javi is having the big D word (depression) I am playing fast and loose with his physical description. So if you get the feeling that I am describing the Joel Miller from the first episode of TLOU, you are absolutely right and I am not sorry about it. And it will probably happen again.

<< Chapter 1 — Chapter 3 (coming soon in theaters) >>

Let's begin, shall we, ladies? *smirks charmingly*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Javier woke up as if from the dead with a groan. His head was pounding – no, that’s putting it too mildly – his head felt like someone spent the whole night going at it with a jackhammer and it finally cracked open. His whole body ached in a familiar way, making him feel glued to the mattress, even the mere attempt to untangle himself from between the sheets was fruitless as his arms felt heavier than the day before.

Nothing was new though.

In the last four months Javier woke up feeling like absolute shit at least three days out of seven, each time having the same reason – drinking himself stupid until he fell into a dreamless state. After that, things succeeded in the same order each morning – head about to explode, a splitting, pulsing pain behind his eyes, his body sticky-wet from a repulsing sweat that reeked of alcohol and the annoying feeling of his tongue and throat cushioned with cotton. Each and every damn time, without fail, but it wasn’t a good enough reason for him to stop doing what he was doing.

At first, he lied to himself saying that he was just letting loose, finally out of the government’s heavy boot that was pressed on his chest for so long, celebrating his retirement. He promised to himself that once he got it out of his system, he would get back on his feet and start doing something with his life.

Then, when the festivities were over, he used the excuse that a glass or two of something wouldn’t hurt on the days he was feeling a little under the weather.

Now he was drinking just to help himself sleep.

He didn’t care enough to try to come up with new excuses anymore. All he cared about was numbing the hollow cave he had inside of him, until he forgot it was there. Life was bliss when he couldn’t feel the tip of his fingers, his nose, or the demons of the past that gnawed at whatever was left of his soul.

Why the ever-loving fuck was he awake right now? His body sure didn’t feel like it was ready do to so.

Right when he was about to come to his senses, or fall back asleep – he wasn’t sure which one, Javier realized that the phone, which hadn’t stop ringing this whole time, was the reason of his premature conscient state.

He groaned, rolling onto his stomach, burying his face into the pillow. It smelled like whiskey and cigarettes. His whole damn apartment did.

The phone stopped for two seconds. Then started again.

“Fuck’s sake,” he muttered, reaching blindly, knocking over a half empty glass in the process. The smell of stale liquor hit his nose as it spilled onto the floor. He finally found the receptor, bringing it to his ear without even opening his eyes.

“Wha-…” his voice sounded like he chewed gravel for fun so he cleared his voice before trying again, “What?”

A pause. Then, Steve’s voice, sharp and unimpressed. “You sound like shit.”

Javi grunted. “What do you want, Murphy?”

“I want to know where the hell have you been last night.”

Javi exhaled deeply, running a hand down his face. “Christ, Steve. What, you checking on me now?” he muttered, now rubbing his eyes, hoping that applying a light pressure on them would ease the pulsing pain. “I was right there at that damned gallery you and your woman dragged me into.”

There was a pause for silence on the other line, but Javier knew that silence. It meant Steve was trying to recollect himself before talking again, already sick of his bullshit. He could almost imagine him pinching the bridge of his nose and brushing his hay-colored moustache with a pissed off expression.

“You know that’s not what I meant, Javi… You just disappeared halfway through the night, you didn’t answer your home phone, never left a message, seriously, what the fuck?” Steve scolded him like he was a troubled teenager and Javi had to resist the temptation to grind his teeth – he didn’t want to worsen his headache. “Connie and I thought you left to crawl into a bottle again. You’ve been real fuckin’ predictable lately.” His voice was calmed down in intensity, disappointment taking over, “I really thought you were making progress here, and there you go pulling the same shit again.”

If he had any energy or fucks to give, Javier would have snapped back defending his honor, but he had neither, so he kept his mouth shut. Even so, Steve’s words stung, reminding once again of the disappointment he’s become.

“I didn’t do that.” He muttered into the speaker. “I really tried to stay there the whole time. It’s just…” Javi debated if he should tell the truth, and hell, for a second he considered the option of letting Murphy think he was slipping back into his own problems, but after all the support he’s given him, it would have been just plain cruel. “I met someone.”

“You met someone?” Steve echoed incredulous with a hint of amusement that didn’t go unnoticed by Javier.

Damn right he met someone. The most fascinating woman he’s ever talked to in God knows how long. The night before was one of the few times when he felt good – really fucking good – for a large number of hours.

After the two of you ditched the art exhibition, you picked up a leisurely pace walking down the busy streets, your arms brushing against each other at all times like there was a gravitational force pulling you towards one another. But never holding hands. God no. The first and most obvious reason for both of you was the fact that you barely knew each other, yet the second reason – the one only Javier knew, was the fact that he couldn’t bring himself to tainting your spirit with all the shit he carried around.

So, the two of you just walked and talked, well – most of the time you talked, like a damn chatterbox that you were, but he loved every second of it. He couldn’t pinpoint the exact reason why he was so fascinated by you. Sure, you were an incredibly intelligent woman, funny, humble, self-aware, real – and to say that you were beautiful was an understatement. But above all these things, there was something about you, something that didn’t have a word but felt almost tangible. You were a breath of fresh air for a man like Javier, who lived for far too long feeling suffocated.

“Well? Who the hell did you meet?”

Oh, right.

“Just some woman at the gallery.” Javi tried to keep it simple.

“So, you picked up a chick and brought her back to your place.” It wasn’t a question, it was a statement, like when you say the sky is blue, water is wet and Javier’s mental health was in a serious decline. Just stating the obvious.

Not this time though.

“Actually, no I didn’t. Just went out for a drink, spent some time talking, then walked her home.”

“So you didn’t fuck her?” Steve’s words made Javi slightly flinch.

“No, moron, I didn’t fuck her.” he grunted.

He would’ve though. He wanted to. But he couldn’t, simply couldn’t. You were standing in front of him all soft, kind and pure, he would have never forgiven himself if he allowed his blood-stained hands to ruin your perfect soul.

And it sure wasn’t easy sticking to his motives. At one point during the night, you’ve given him enough hints that you most definitely wanted more.

                                                            -

“I swear, it’s older than you!” you defended your very old bottle of whiskey at home, earning yourself a pearly grin from Javi, one that came with a dimple on the right cheek.

“How the hell did you get your hands on something like that? And why didn’t you drink it already?”

“One of my grandma’s exes was collector and just randomly gifted me one for my birthday. He was so set in his ways to impress her that he just gave me like it was no big deal.” You shrugged and at this point in the night Javier already learned that your grandma wasn’t a typical grandma. “You know, Javi,” your voice suddenly dropped an octave, “we could always go over to my place, try that whiskey together.”

He smiled, ignoring the fact that he was actively screaming on the inside, shrugging it off. “I think I’ve had enough to drink for tonight. Maybe next time.”

                                                            -

And then he went back to his place and got fucking plastered trying to fall asleep and forget about you.

“Since when Javier Peña turns down an opportunity like this?” Murphy’s voice creeped inside his hungover mind.

He didn’t know what to say, what lie or cheap excuse to offer him, because all he had was the painful truth – he didn’t want to ruin someone good.

“Just didn’t want to.”

Another pause. “You gonna see her again?”

Javi didn’t answer.

Steve exhaled sharply. “Jesus, Javi…”

He sat up slowly, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. His head throbbed and his mouth tasted like a goddamn ashtray.

“Okay, let’s cut the crap. We both know why you are like this, and I keep telling you, this is not Colombia. You’ve gotten out, you are free, alright? Stop kicking yourself and ruin your life over it.” It was the first time Murphy addressed the elephant in the room ever since Javier came back to the states. “Do you think any narco, sicario or some big government weasel loses any sleep over you?”

Javier didn’t say anything. He didn’t need anyone to lose sleep over him because he didn’t lose any sleep for them either. The civilians, the innocent kids, women and men alike, his coworkers who had families they needed to take care of, even Murphy’s fucking dead cat, those were the ones he dedicated his sleepless nights to. Those were the ones who didn’t deserve to die, but they did, many of them because of the fucked up decisions that he made. He dedicated his insomnia to every poor soul out there who was a victim of this fucked up system and who thought that the government was working to help them. What a fucking joke.

He may be out of Colombia now, but everything that happened there stayed with him.

                                                            -

“You always this broody, Peña?”

“Only on Tuesdays.”

You laughed at that, the sound warm and genuine. ”Lucky me, catching you at your worst.”

“Oh, sweetheart.” He smiled bitterly, taking a sip of his drink. “This ain’t my worst.”

                                                            -

Steve, either sensing something in his silence or just being relentless as usual, kept going. “Look,” he said, his voice lowering, “I get it. I was there too, I know how shit was down there. I know you can’t just – just move on like nothing happened, pretend that part of you didn’t exist.”

Javi clenched his jaw.

                                                            -

“So what’d you do before?” you’d asked, tracing circled on the rim of your glass.

He’d taken a long sip of his whiskey before answering. “Worked as a cop.”

You tilted your head. “That’s it?”

“That’s it.”

He could feel your eyes on him, like you were trying to read between the lines, see past the half-truths. But you didn’t push. You just nodded, accepting it at face value.

That was the thing about you. You made it easy.

                                                            -

Steve was still going strong with his pep-talk on the other side of the line, “… - but you can’t waste your life like this, man.”

Javi scoffed, rubbing his temple. “I’m fine.”

“The hell you are.”

Silence stretched between them. Javi ran a hand through his hair, staring at the floor, at the empty bottles, the scattered cigarette packs and dirty clothes abandoned in random places.

Feeling that Javi wasn’t willing to answer, Murph just went on talking, “Listen, how ‘bout you come over tomorrow, we’ll make a barbecue, have some beers, maybe tell us some more about your new friend from the gallery. And-… “ Steve’s voice suddenly turned a lot sweeter and softer than the one he used on Javi, “…-yes, babygirl, I’ll tell him – Uncle Javi, Olivia is very excited to show you what she’s learned in her ballet class.” Javier could hear the muffled voice of his niece buzzing somewhere close to her father, which almost made him smile.

“Listen, man-…” he wanted to say but Steve cut him off briefly.

“It’s not a request, Javi.”

Javi gritted his teeth. “I don’t do barbecues.”

“Well, tough shit, you do now.”

Javi groaned, flopping back onto the bed.

Steve’s tone sharpened. “You don’t show up tomorrow, I’m coming to your place, beat some sense into you and drag you here myself.”

There was a long pause, followed by Javi’s curses and something mumbled that sounded a lot like I leave those commanding assholes just to be ordered around by this washed out shit.

“Fine”

“Fine?” Steve echoed in disbelief.

Javier grumbled, again, by this time his headache’s gotten even worse. “Yes, jackass, fine. I’ll be there.”

“Good. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Said Murphy and abruptly ended the call.

He didn’t want to see anyone. Didn’t want to make small talk, pretend to be a functioning person. He was too tired for that.

He sat there in his bed, staring at the ceiling for God knows how long. He wished he could say he was thinking about something, but he was too tired and numb to do that. So he just sat there, listening. He heard the TV of one of his neighbors, he could hear the buzzing of the street outside, cars, people, the world moving on while he felt frozen in time. He listened to his own breath, feeling that rotten muscle pump the blood in his body, blood that should have been spilled on some dark and dirty alley in Medellin a long time ago.

He didn’t feel real. This was a reoccurring thought for him. He didn’t feel real, not for some time now.

Yesterday he felt better though, good enough to let himself be fooled that maybe things are finally starting to move into the right direction. For a few hours he wholeheartedly believed that maybe Murphy was right, he just needed fresh air, a change of scenery, some light. Oh, how easy things would have been if he had the mental complexity of a plant.

But it wasn’t that what made him feel better. He’s been dragged around by the Murphys plenty of times in the last few months and it didn’t change anything. No, it was you. As awful and unfair as it would sound, you were the sole reason for his bettered state of mind.

And for half a second, he believed it was real.

Your name alone sat warm in his mouth, something soft and sweet in a world that had nothing left but jagged edges.

You talked too much, that was the first thing he noticed.

You filled the air like it was your goddamn job, talking about art and books and your strong opinions on everything, talking about the world like it still had a prayer, like the world wasn’t a miserable, fucked-up place, like people weren’t selfish, cruel, broken things.

And your laugh. The way you’d leaned in, eyes bright, telling some ridiculous story about your childhood. The way you’d made it sound like everything in your past was warm and easy, like you didn’t have a single ugly thing weighting you down.

How could he ever let himself ruin that?

And the way you looked at him – Jesus.

Like you thought he was someone worth looking at. He hated it.

Hated how easy it was for you to smile at him, how quick you were to tease him, how you sat there in that dim lit pub, laughing at something he said like he was just some guy, some normal fucking guy and not a ruined, hollow shell of a man.

Most importantly, he hated himself for how you made him feel and the fact that he couldn’t stop thinking about you. What has he – a boy? A fucking boy? Going all gooey and enraptured over you just because you treated him like a decent human being?

Javi grumbled something, shifting in his bed, then, with a heavy breath, he pushed himself up and stumbled toward the shower.

The water ran cold for the first few seconds. Not that it mattered. Javier just stood there, one hand braced against the tile, forehead resting against his arm, eyes shut against the sting of last night’s whiskey and self-loathing.

By the time the heat kicked in, scalding against his skin, he still didn’t move.

His head throbbed in sync with his heartbeat. His stomach churned, threatening to revolt. He should eat something, but that required effort. And he didn’t have the energy for that—not when his own fucking brain wouldn’t shut up. On top of that, he already used all his energy to get into that shower

            He could still hear your laugh. Still see the way you’d thrown your head back, all teeth and warmth, touching his shoulder anytime you’d bend out in laughter, something so damn genuine about it that it made his chest ache.

                                                                        -

           “He flew right into my room. Just – boom, right into the window. Poor thing was too stunned for a solid minute.”

           “Bet he regretted that one.”

           “Oh, for sure. But I took care of him, you know, let him hang upside down in my closet for two days and fed him apple sauce until my grandma found out I was keeping a bat as a pet.”

            You said it so simply, so easily, like it was the most natural thing in the world – to see something broken and hurt and try to help it.

            He chuckled – actually chuckled, at your innocence. “You could’ve gotten rabies!”

            “I could have also gotten a life-long friend, Javi!”

            “I think you would have been the only five grader with a rabid flying rat for a friend.”

            “When you don’t have friends as a child, anything would do.”

            He just looked at you with compassion, with fondness.

            After a beat, you added with a small, sweet voice, “His name was Timothy.”

                                                                        -

          "Tell me more about your grandmother and her gallery" he asked after a beat, glancing around at the sea of people in the pub. He was dying to know more about you, but at the same he didn’t want to be too straight forward about it. If he was to be honest about it, you almost intimidated him.

You smiled warmly. "She's had this gallery since before I was born. She still curates a lot of the exhibits, even though she keeps saying she's going to retire."

"And you? Not in the family business?"

"God, no," you said with a dramatic shudder. "I love my grandmother, but this is not my thing."

"Could've fooled me," Javi muttered.

You tilted your head with an amused grin. "Because I can make up a bunch of nonsense on the spot?"

"Exactly.”

You shrugged. "Just a skill I picked up along the way."

Javi narrowed his eyes slightly, studying you. "You a writer?"

"Not professionally," you said, almost shyly. "Just... stories, sometimes."

"Huh." He looked you over again, like you were a puzzle piece he hadn't quite placed yet. A storyteller. That made sense. You had that kind of mind – the kind that found patterns, that turned nothing into something, who turned something bad into something good just with a little wordplay.

                                                                        -

Javi exhaled sharply, pushing off the tile, scrubbing a hand through his wet hair. The shower was too damn small, the walls too fucking close. He felt restless, a dull, crawling sensation under his skin that no amount of water could wash away.

                                                            -

“So, what, you don’t paint? Or play piano?” you’d asked, eyebrows raised over the rim of your glass.

He’d snorted. “Sweetheart, I don’t do a lot of things.”

“Tragic.” You leaned forward, elbows on the table. “A man with hands like yours should know how to do something.”

                                                            -

Something had twisted in his stomach at that.

Because you didn’t know. Didn’t know what his hands had done, how much blood they had on them, how much of it he still felt even now, months after leaving Colombia behind.

He scrubbed a hand over his face, the water still running too hot.

He shouldn’t have let it get that far.

He shouldn’t have walked you home.

And he sure as hell shouldn’t have stood there like some fucking idiot when you’d tilted your chin up, leaning in just slightly, that subtle invitation hanging between the two of you.

Javi had kissed plenty of women.

Hell, he’d spent the better part of his time in Colombia doing exactly that—distracting himself with soft mouths and eager hands, chasing oblivion between someone else’s legs. But last night…

You’d been right there.

Your lips, just a breath away. Your eyes, half-lidded and expectant. Your voice, softer than before, still playful.

“Are you coming up? That old ass whiskey is still waiting to be consumed.”

He should have said yes.

Should have let you pull him inside, let you press up against him, let you—

Javi slammed the water off, gripping the edge of the shower wall, chest rising and falling too fast.

He had wanted you. Fuck, he had wanted you. Of course he did, he was depressed, not dead.

But not like that. Not like some drunk asshole looking for a quick fix, for something—someone—to chase away the ghosts.

You weren’t built for that. And neither was he. Not with you.

He wanted to be able to give you something real, because you were real. And he? He was a coward and a liar who hid himself under a mask.

Javi ran both hands down his face, inhaled deeply, then stepped out onto the cold tile.

He grabbed a towel off the rack, rubbed it over his face, through his hair. The mirror was fogged up, but he didn’t bother wiping it. Didn’t need to see himself right now.

Didn’t want to check if the kind of man you might’ve thought he was, was there, only see the complete opposite.

He didn’t want to see how he let himself go, his iconic moustache already blended in with a thick beard and his hair wild, unkept, curling in all the wrong directions.

Javi was still damp when he collapsed onto his couch, a towel hanging loosely around his neck, hair dripping onto his shoulders. His body felt heavy, his skin too tight.

His apartment smelled like stale liquor and cigarettes. He should clean up. Take out the bottles, wash the dishes, maybe even open a damn window.

Instead, he reached for the pack of cigarettes on the table, lit one and took a long, deep drag.

The nicotine settled uneasily in his stomach.

He let his head tip back against the couch, staring at the ceiling.

You were gonna forget about him. Probably already had.

Women like you—bright, soft, good—they didn’t waste their time on men like him. And that was for the best.

But it didn’t stop him from wondering, though.

Didn’t stop him from thinking about the way you’d smiled at him in the dim bar light, eyes shining with something he didn’t deserve.

Didn’t stop him from wishing, for one brief second, that he was someone else. Someone who could have leaned in, kissed you, taken your hand, let you pull him into something warmer than he’d ever known.

Javi exhaled, smoke curling toward the ceiling.

He needed another drink.

But Steve’s words rattled around in his skull.

“You can’t waste your life like this.”

Javi huffed a humorless laugh. Too late for that.

Still.

Tomorrow, he’d go to that stupid barbecue. He’d sit there, let Connie make a plate for him, let Steve give him shit, let their kid run around the yard like life was something easy, something good.

And then he’d go home.

Drink. Smoke. Try not to think about the fact that, for the first time in a long time, he’d wanted something more than just another forgettable night.

And fail.

Because he could still taste the ghost of a kiss that never happened.

And he wasn’t sure he’d ever stop wanting it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: Now, let me explain myself before you start throwing the tomatoes.

Did I rob you all of their date? Yes.

Am I sorry? No. Because more sneakpeeks will come later when the reader's gonna have her turn on the pov.

Or at least that's what I tell myself, because most of the time I have no Idea what the fuck I'm doing or what's the direction I wanna take until I'm already there.

Also please don't be shy to drag me down and give me your honest opinion, I promise I will take it like the good girl I am like a champ.

[tightjeansjavi]

Tie Me Up Like I’m Surprised

Sex Escapades With Agent Peña

(Javi Peña x f!reader NSFW)

A/N: thank you to the lovely anon who sent in a request for Javi to tie you up with his tie. This one is for you, babe &lt;3

Summary: Your boyfriend Agent Peña invites you as his +1 to a cocktail party at the U.S Embassy in Colombia. You can’t get enough of the way your boyfriend looks in that tie.

~word count: 4.2k~

Warnings:established relationship, smut with no plot, semi public sex, office sex, Javi is the dom in this one, reader is 100% sub, consent consent consent, slight power dynamic (if you squint) teasing, edging, some degradation, nicknames, huge fucking praise kink, cream pie, cum eating, oral (male and female receiving), unprotected p in v, pussy play, cock warming, mentions of smoking and drinking. Once again, this is straight up filth/porn and is NSFW. Do not open this around your boss, or coworkers please. (+18) minors dni !

Songs used:

Tuyo by Rodrigo Amarante

needy by Ariana Grande

Dress by Taylor Swift

Pussy is God by King Princess

You never had said yes so fast in your entire life when your boyfriend Javi asked you to be his +1 at the U.S Embassy cocktail party. The only two people that knew that you and agent Peña were dating were Steve and Connie. They both did a pretty damn good job of keeping yours and Javi’s relationship on the down low. Excitement flooded through your system at the thought of attending this event with you around Javi’s arm. His arm candy. God, the other receptionists were going to be fuming. Almost every woman in the office had a crush on agent Peña. You had nothing to worry about of course. He was all yours, and vice versa.

You had just finished clipping your earrings in when Javi knocked on your apartment door. “It’s open Jav!”

He pushed the door open then when he got a first long look at you and his eyes nearly bugged out of his skull. “Are you ready cariño—holy shit.”

You were wearing a sinfully red cocktail dress. The length was work appropriate, but still flirty. The bodice was tight and hugged your curves beautifully. Just enough cleavage was peeking out for it to show your wild side while still appearing classy, professional. The hem of the dress fell at your mid knee and there was a small slit going up the side of the fabric. You paired the dress with nude, strappy heels that had just a touch of shimmer on the fabric.

“Eres tan hermosa. ¿Te has puesto esto para mí?” (you are so beautiful. Did you wear this for me?) Javi rasped as he strode into your apartment. He wasted no time to back you up into the nearest surface he could find, which happened to be your kitchen countertop. “You’re so fucking beautiful querida. You’re killing me in this fucking dress, baby.” He grasped onto your hips, burying his face between the sliver of skin visible between your breasts. He licked a sinful stripe with his tongue—

“Jav! Baby, we can’t! We’re gonna be late and you know how Murphy gets!” You threaded your fingers through the back of his hair with a giggle.

“Don’t care. He and Connie can wait five more minutes for us.” He drew his face from between your breasts and despite the fact that he knew you’d get upset at him for messing up your lipstick, he kissed you anyway.

“JAV!” You slapped his bicep playfully as you pushed him away.

“I’m sorry, cariño. You just look too damn kissable right now.” He chuckled and swiped his thumb over his lips, wiping off the residue of your lipstick from them.

“Yeah, and now your lips are cherry red Javi.” You shook your head with a grin as you placed your hand on his chest and pushed him away from you playfully.

“Just means I get to carry your kisses on me all fucking night querida.”

Just when you were about to respond to his vulgarity, Steve had honked the horn from where he was parked on the street below.

“C’mon agent Peña, I need a dirty martini stat if I’m going to make it through this event.”

“You and your dirty martinis.” He chuckled, bringing his hand to your lower back as he nudged you towards the front door of your apartment. The hot, humid Colombian air was already causing the fabric of your dress to stick to your skin and you wondered how your boyfriend wasn’t dying in the tailored suit he was wearing.

He held the door open of Murphy’s car for you, letting you climb in first. He may or may not have given you ass a little pinch before he climbed in after you, pulling the door shut.

“Took you both long enough.” Steve grumbled from the driver's seat. “Was about to leave your ass here, Peña.”

Javi was already reaching into his suit pocket, pulling out his cigarettes and lighter as he placed it between his lips. “Sorry, Murphy. Had to ogle at my lady real quick.” He rolled the window down, reaching over you to roll yours down as well before he lit the tip of the cigarette.

“Oh, I’m sure you did just that.”

Javi looked over at you as he took a long drag from the cigarette and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively in your direction as he brought his arm around the back of your seat, resting his fingertips along your exposed shoulder. “It’s not everyday I get to see her in a beautiful dress like this.” He shot you a wink.

At the event, in one of the U.S Embassy’s many large conference rooms, Javi was quick to head to the open bar for your dirty martini with extra Olives. He returned to your side and handed you the glass, his fingertips brushing yours as you watched him closely. The rim of the glass was perched against your lips as you took a sip. Christ, he looked so fucking good.

Much to your disappointment, your boyfriend was pulled away to engage in mindless office chatter. However, despite the distance between you, his eyes always found yours in the room.

You were specifically watching the way his hands would move to adjust his tie. The tendons in his hands would flex under contact as he placed his hand on his hip while his elbow rested alongside one of the high tables. You could tell by the expression on his face, that he was bored of the conversation he was un-actively participating in.

Your glass was nearly empty as you swirled the remaining contents around mindlessly. You caught his attention simply by pushing your hair over your shoulder, exposing your neck in the most casual fashion. Your legs crossed over one another, heels glistening in the lighting as your fingers delicately held the stem of the toothpick. You wrapped your lips around one of the olives on the toothpick and sucked it into your mouth.

You heard the scraping of Javi’s chair before you caught sight of him approaching you. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing cariño?” He hissed, leaning down over you as you gazed up at him innocently, lashes fluttering.

“Eating these olives and trying to get your attention. Think it worked?” Your lips curved up into a cherry red stained grin.

“Oh, it worked alright. C’mon.” He grasped your wrist in his warm palm, pulling you up from your seat. He didn’t care if anyone was watching the two of you at this point. He knew that people would gossip regardless.

“Jav what are you—”

“Shh. Just follow me. Don’t ask silly questions querida.” He tsked under his breath as he released his grip around your wrist and let his hand rest at your lower back.

Soon the two of you were outside the conference room. The echo of your heels clacking along the smooth tile could be heard, followed by Javi’s heavier footsteps behind you. After turning down a hallway, you knew exactly where he was taking you. Straight to his office.

He was quick to open the door and nudge you inside before he pulled it shut and locked it behind him. He reached under the back of his suit jacket, pulled out his gun and placed it along his desk with his badge next to it. “You couldn’t keep your eyes off me all night, cariño. I was looking for a perfectly good excuse to depart from the conversation I was having. You gave me just the excuse I needed.”

He had you backed into his desk with zero hesitation. “I couldn’t keep my eyes off you because you look so fucking good tonight Jav. Not sure why, but that tie is doing things to me.”

“My tie, sweet girl? What about it?” He was already effortlessly slipping off his suit jacket, tossing it down alongside where you sat upon the edge of his desk. When he moved his hands up to loosen the tie around his neck, you reached up to stop him.

“No no. Let me do it.” Your hands were around his, ceasing his movements as the fabric slipped between your fingers.

Javi was dipping his head down, nudging his nose against yours before he was closing the gap and capturing your lips between his. “What do you like so much about my tie, cariño? Don’t be shy.” He mumbled into your lips while his hand ghosted around the outside of your thigh as he hiked it up around his hip, causing your back to lay flat across his desk. You could hear papers and pens clinking to the ground from the movement but Javi didn’t seem to care.

“I just couldn’t stop thinking about all the ways you could tie me up with it.” You breathed out against his lips, tasting the warm whiskey on his tongue wrapped deliciously in faint cigarette smoke. You were quick to grasp the buttons of his shirt, popping them open so his glistening tan chest was exposed.

“Jesus fucking Christ. That’s what you have been thinking about? You’re so unbelievably filthy baby. So filthy for me.” He mumbled against your lips as he slipped his tongue into your mouth, letting out a deep exhale as he gripped onto your thigh tightly.

Your fingers skated across the exposed skin on his chest greedily as you kissed him deeper, your tongues actively exploring one another’s mouths. Your kisses with Javi were never short of filthy. You loved the way he completely took over your lips with his. “Yes, Jav. Please tie me up baby and have your way with me.” You scraped your nails down his chest, eliciting a groan from the cavern of his throat.

“You don’t have to ask me twice, cariño.” His lips detached from yours. They were smeared with your cherry red lipstick and swollen with your kisses. He didn’t waste another second before he slipped his tie from around his neck as he leaned down over you. “I could blindfold you. Or gag that pretty mouth of yours. Hmm..” he pondered while he stood between your legs. He couldn’t help but let his hand that was gripping the outside of your thigh, dip inwards before his thumb was brushing lightly across your clothed clit. He could feel the wetness pooling through the fabric as he let out a deep chuckle. “This turning you on already querida? Your pretty little pussy has soaked through your panties.” He hummed as he applied a bit of pressure to your covered clit.

Your body lurched forward from his touch alone as you took your lower lip between your teeth. Your thighs instinctively spread open for him as he cupped your aching cunt with his warm palm. “Fuck, Jav. Please. I can’t handle your teasing tonight.”

“No? Oh, my sweet girl. You want me that bad, huh? Oh my poor poor greedy little baby.” He stroked his thumb across your clit once more. “Be a doll and grab the box of smokes from my jacket cariño.” He rasped.

You nearly cursed under your breath from how fast you were reaching for his suit jacket and pulling the box of cigarettes and lighter from the internal pocket. You placed the cigarette between his lips, holding in your soft moans as he continued to play with your clit. Your fingers shakily lit the cigarette for him as he took a drag, blowing the smoke off to the side. “Arms behind your back sweetheart. Be a good girl while I play with your pussy, okay? Just want to hear those pretty little sounds from you cariño. Want to make sure that you’re nice and ready for my cock.”

You tossed the box of cigarettes and lighter down onto his suit jacket before bringing your arms behind your back as he requested. “I’m always ready for your cock Jav.”

“I know my sweet girl. You’re always so good for me.” He kept the cigarette pursed between his lips as he removed his thumb from your clit and reached around you. You felt the smooth fabric of his tie wrapping around your wrists as he tied them together in a bow. “Now, if only I had some proper rope to tie you up completely. I think this will do for now. How’s it feel? Not too tight?”

Your breath hitched in your throat when you tried to wiggle your wrists but they wouldn’t budge. “No, not too tight baby. Just enough that I can’t move them.” Your lips were held in a pout as you looked up at him.

“Perfect. I love seeing you like this cariño. Always looking so pretty for me.” He brushed his thumb across your lower lip, dragging it down slightly. “You want my cock now, pretty girl? Ask nicely.”

“Please, Javi. Can I please have your cock now?” You breathed out, feeling the ache between your thighs continue to pulse.

“Of course you can, baby. It’s all yours.”

With his cigarette still expertly pursed between his lips, he quickly undid the button of his dress pants and pulled the zipper down and freed his cock from the restraints. He loved the way that your eyes would widen slightly every time you saw his cock. It’s like you were amazed by the length and girth of him, no matter how many times you had seen it.

You watched the way it slapped up against his stomach, the ridged head was leaking with precum and you were nearly salivating at the sight. “Can I taste you, please Jav?”

“You want to suck my cock baby?”

“Please.”

Your lips were already parted open, eagerly waiting for him. He brushed his tip across your lipstick stained lips as your warm, inviting mouth wrapped around him. Your tongue swirled around the ridged head, tasting his salty precum. You watched with an innocent look, your mouth filled with his cock as Javi’s eyes rolled back into his skull.

“Fuck cariño. You’re going to fucking kill me with that pretty little mouth of yours.” The tip of the cigarette dipped down slightly between his lips as his hand found purchase on around your face. His thumb was gently stroking your cheekbone as you hollowed your cheeks out to take more of him in. “Oh fuck, you’re so beautiful, mouth full of my cock. You love this don’t you cariño? Look at you, filthy girl.” He hissed under his breath when the tip of his cock nudged the back of your throat.

You gagged around him, feeling tears prick the corner of your eyes as you looked up at him. Each time you bobbed your head, Javi could feel himself stretching out the soft, fleshy interior of your cheeks against his thumb.

More praises began to fall from his lips as you continued to suck him off greedily. Javi was in complete bliss, having you beneath him like this, mouth filled with his cock. He couldn’t wait to fill you to the fucking brim.

He reached down, tapping his cigarette out before he slipped out of your mouth with a ‘pop’ before you could speak, his lips were on yours kissing you deeply as he could taste himself on your tongue. “If you would have kept that up, I would have been cumming down that pretty little throat.” His hand was wrapped around your throat, tilting your head back slightly as he nipped at your lower lip. “Wrap your leg around my waist, cariño and prop your other foot up on my desk.”

He brought his other hand around your lower back, propping you up gently so you wouldn’t fall back. Your leg found purchase around his hip while you propped your heel clad foot against the side of his desk. His tip was firmly pressed against your clothed clit, eliciting a moan from both of you. He dropped his hand that was firmly grasped around your throat, to between your legs. His fingers pulled your thin panties to the side, exposing your pussy to him.

He dragged his tip across your slick folds, coating himself in your arousal before he slowly sunk himself inside of you. He loved the way your pussy immediately gripped around him. Your walls were wet, warm, and inviting and he could stay buried inside of you forever. He felt your heel digging into him from where it was wrapped around his waist. “So fucking tight cariño. Taking my cock so well. Fucking love the way your pretty little pussy grips around me.” He jutted his hips forward, knocking you into his desk as your lips parted open.

“Fuck me, Jav.”

“That’s the plan querida.” He chuckled as he rutted his hips into you again. At this angle, with your thighs spread wide, you could feel him everywhere inside of you. Your head fell back slightly as a moan slipped out as he fucked into you.

Javi’s hand was still firmly wrapped around your lower back, keeping you steady as his other hand gripped onto the edge of the desk for support. More things were being knocked over from how hard he was fucking you. He could see your tits bounce under the fabric of your dress with each heavy thrust.

He silenced your sweet moans with his lips where his teeth clashed against yours in a heated, desperate kiss. He drank in your sweet sounds, praising you against your swollen lips as you clenched and pulsed around his thick cock. “That’s it baby. So good for me. Always such a good girl. You wanna cum my sweet girl? Not until I say” he mumbled into your lips.

In one swift movement, he had slipped out of you and carefully flipped you over on his desk so you were bent over the side of it, your wrists bound behind your back with his tie. You were at his complete and utter mercy now.

Javi had given his cock a few quick tugs as he crouched down, and dragged his tongue across your soaked pussy a few times getting a proper taste. Your thighs quivered when you felt his tongue flatten against your clit. “Javi. Fuck. Please! D—don’t tease me you asshole.” You mewled.

“Shh. Don’t worry, my sweet girl. You’ll get my cock again in just a second.” He hummed against you, flicking his tongue a few times before he stood up. You felt his hands harshly yank your hips back against him. “You gotta learn some patience, cariño. Enjoy the moment.” His hand had harshly made contact with your left ass cheek. His open palm stung the soft skin as your body lurched forward. He leaned down over you, soothing the red skin with a kiss before he bit down causing you to let out a surprised yelp.

“Jav..” you warned.

“Be a good girl for me, cariño. Don’t make me tell you again.” His lips dragged from your ass up your spine and between your shoulder blades. His broad frame completely enveloped around you as he slowly slipped back inside of you. He was less gentle this time as he rammed into you, over and over again. The hem of your dress was bunched up over your hips as you cried out his name.

He let his hand dip under you, flattening across your stomach before dipping down between your legs where his fingers furiously began to rub at your already swollen clit. The building orgasm in the pit of your stomach had your ass arching into him, meeting his thrusts half way as you gyrated your hips back into him. “That’s it baby. Fuck yourself on my cock, just like that cariño. Look at you being a filthy little whore for me. Getting yourself off on my cock.” He flicked your clit faster, edging you to your crashing release.

“Javi—javi! Please, baby. Please let me cum!” You were nearly sobbing at this point as he continued to relentlessly pound into you.

His eyes were locked on where your bodies were connected. With each thrust of his hips, and glide of his cock, he could see you gripping him, coating his cock in your arousal. “You wanna cum, my sweet girl? C’mon cariño. I know you’re so fucking close baby. Cum around my cock. I want you to complete fucking coat me. You think you can do that for me baby?”

You replied with a strangle moan, mixed in with his name as you clenched around him.

“Ahh. That’s it. There she is, there’s my pretty fucking girl. That’s it baby. I got you.” He listened to your sweet sounds of ecstasy fill his office space and his greedy ears. His fingers continued to work your clit as you hit your orgasm with a deafening crescendo.

“Wh—where can I cum cariño? I don’t want to ruin this pretty dress of yours—”

“Inside of me Javi.”

“Are you—”

“Yes. Just fucking do it.” Your walls were still clenching around him. “I’m on the pill, and we’re both clean.”

As soon as he had your full consent to cum inside of you, nothing was stopping him as he grunted out your name. Sinking his nails into your hip as he spurted his hot ropes of cum into your pussy. You felt him coat your walls entirely as he collapsed against you, his lips brushing against the shell of your ear as he stayed buried deep inside of you. His cock twitched a few times before it softened but he didn’t have the strength to move yet. “Fuck Me.” He whispered against your hair, pressing a kiss against the side of your neck.

Yours and his cum was dripping out of your pussy and around his softened cock. You both were catching your breath as the post sex high set in. Javi slowly propped himself up on his elbows, looking down at where he was still buried deep inside your pussy before he gently untied your wrists. “How was that baby? You feeling good?” He softly spoke as he tossed his tie over his suit jacket.

“Absolutely turned my fucking brain to mush, Jav.” You looked over your shoulder at your proud grinning boyfriend. “If you’re gonna stay inside of me like this, mind grabbing me a smoke?”

“If you’re alright with it, and of course cariño.” He grabbed a cigarette from the open container on his desk and placed it between your pretty lips before he lit it for you.

“Mmm. Well, you’re in luck because I quite enjoy the way you fill me up baby.” You propped yourself up on your elbow as you wiggled your ass back against him, taking a long drag from the cigarette.

“This is why you’re absolutely going to murder me one of these days. Can’t just go and say that shit to a man baby. You know what it does to me? Not to mention, you look so fucking pretty, cigarette between those lips, my cock still buried inside of you after you’ve been properly fucked. God, you’re so beautiful.”

You let out a soft giggle as you took another drag before plucking the cigarette from your lips and reached back and placed it between his lips.

“Mmm. You should have brought your camera so you could have taken a picture of me like this. Oh well, next time.”

Javi took a long drag, keeping his eyes locked on yours as he slowly slipped out. He used a few tissues from the Kleenex box that was discarded on the floor to gently wipe between your thighs. He gently fixed your panties and pulled your dress back down over your thighs before he tucked himself back into his pants.

“We should probably make ourselves presentable before we head back out there. Hopefully no one has noticed our absence.” He swiped his thumb across your lower lip, leaning down as he gave you a quick peck.

You both quickly tidied up his desk, picking up the discarded papers from the floor and neatly stacking them once more. You both headed to the empty bathrooms, cleaning up your appearance as you did your best to wipe away the smeared lipstick residue from his face.

By this time, Steve and Connie 100% knew that you and Javi were up to no good as you finally made a reappearance. Your boyfriend’s hair was tousled, and his tie was crooked but at least his fly wasn’t down. Your lips were swollen and your dress was a bit crinkled at the bottom. If that wasn’t the dead giveaway, it must have also been the fact that you both had that post sex glow to your faces.

“Where the hell have you two been?” Steve had inquired.

“Wanted to show her something in my office.”

“Are you—did you guys really?”

“We sure did. Anyway, I’m parched. You want another dirty martini cariño?”

“Nah. I’ll take a whiskey on the rocks please.”

“That’s my girl.” He grinned, giving your waist a light squeeze before him and Steve went to go order another round of drinks.

“Did you guys do it in his office?” Connie asked.

“Is it that obvious?”

“It’s written all over your face babe.”

“We did, and it was just as hot as you’re thinking it is.”

“Damn, I’m gonna need to convince Steve to let me visit him after hours sometime.”

You and Connie giggled together as you glanced across the room at agent Peña. He shot you a flirty wink, causing Steve to roll his eyes in annoyance.

Damn you Javier Peña, damn you.

Taglist: @chaotic-mystery @loquaciousferret @peterhollandkait @userpedros @meveispunk @lovers-liability @atinylittlepain @777-wonders @novemberrain-writes @cutesyscreenname @korynnekorynne @bearsbeetsbeskar @beskarandblasters @yazsos @soaringcloud @soft-cryptids @pr0ximamidnight @last-girl @kirsteng42 @str84pedro @dinsdjrn @bonglorddaryl @mirasantidotes @dreamingofdaddydin

[javierpena-inatacvest]

Chapter 12- I Love You. I Know.

Summary: As the end of October approaches, you and Javi learn more about celebrating Halloween and Dia De Los Muertos together. After a sleepless night, and a Halloween party at the Murphy's, Javi begins to open up to you about his past.

Word Count: 15.6K (I'm sweating)

Warnings: SMUT (18+), unprotected p in v sex (don't be silly, wrap your willy), oral (m receiving), vaginal fingering, creampie, praise kink, semi-public sex (Oh the poor Murphy's...), PTSD/Anxiety around grief, loss and Javi's past, some angst/tension, mentions of drinking/being drunk (Steve is getting PLASTERED), mentions of food/eating, SO MANY STAR WARS REFERENCES, literally this chapter made me sob while I was writing it, editing it, and re-reading it, I am SO sorry

A/N: You guys. Holy shit. This chapter really had me in my feels. This chapter was def a labor of love, but I'm really happy with how it turned out!! Thank you for as always for all you kind words, you truly, truly, TRULY have no idea how much your support means to me 😭💖 Also please don't kill me after you finish reading this chapter I PROMISE *things* are happening so soon I can literally taste it, but I needed for this chapter to happen first, and you would be silly to think that *things* didn't get its own whole ass chapter and I am just as excited as you AH

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The excitement of October’s conclusion was in the air, and the joys of getting to celebrate what you hoped would be the first of many holidays with Javi was at the forefront of your mind. While the end of summer meant school was here and your carefree days were gone until next June, October meant it was time for one of your favorite holidays- Halloween. It was one of your most cherished things to celebrate as a kid, and even still as an adult. The memories of jumping into leaf piles off your swingset with your brothers, dressing up in goofy, homemade costumes to trick-or-treat (because your mom was not about to buy 4 new sets of costumes every single year), carving pumpkins, and stealing as many of your brother’s Kit Kat bars as you could without getting caught, filled your heart with a warmth and joy that you couldn’t quite describe. While the 80 degree temperatures and lack of bright reds and yellows painted across the leaves falling from their trees was much different from the Chicago Octobers you were accustomed to, it hadn’t stopped you from heading full steam into Halloween. 

“So do you have any thoughts on what we should be for Steve and Connie’s? I have no problem going out to buy stuff for costumes, but I can already hear my mom yelling at me for wasting my money on cheaply made clothes I’m gonna wear for 5 hours when I have something perfectly good in my closet.” You rolled your eyes as you shuffled through the hangers, Javi sitting on the edge of your bed folding the laundry you were working on putting away. 

The two of you had gladly accepted the invitation from Steve and Connie to spend the weekend with them in San Antonio, as the Murphy’s planned to host a Halloween party at their house for their friends and co-workers, giving you and Javi a chance to have a fun weekend out of town together. 

“Hmmmm?” He asked, looking up at you as you grabbed a few shirts, examining them for costume potential. “We’re dressing up for this thing?” 

“Yeah, that’s like, the whole point of Halloween, dummy.” You giggled, throwing a few options on the floor before making your way over to your pants. “Didn’t you dress up as a kid for Halloween?” 

Unlike yourself, Javi had spent his whole life celebrating Día de los Muertos, Halloween having nowhere near as much relevance to him as it did to you, spending the end of October and first days of November gathering with his family to spend the day making Pan de Muerto (Day of the Dead sweet bread),  watching the parades on the streets of Downtown Laredo before visiting the cemetery where his grandparents were buried, decorating their graves in cempasúchil (marigold flowers), candles and photographs with his primos (cousins). Since his mom had passed, Javi hadn’t been home to celebrate with his family, and had almost forgone the tradition completely during his time in Colombia, the pain and loss of his mother and the solemn sadness of celebrating alone leading him to try his best to forget about the holiday all together. 

“Uh, no, not, not really. Didn’t really do Halloween, isn’t really as much of a thing down here. My family always celebrated Día de Los Muertos instead.” He replied, almost embarrassed by his answer, not wanting to damper your excitement as you dug through your closet for costumes. 

Your heart sank to your stomach, feeling awful that you hadn’t even taken into consideration that Javi's traditions around this time of year were completely different from what you were used to. The two of you had never really talked about how you wanted to celebrate future holidays, and always had wanted to make sure that the important parts of your lives were celebrated equally. Javi hadn’t said anything after you had spent the past few days putting up Halloween decorations around your apartment, and now you felt like an idiot assuming he had spent his whole life celebrating just like you. 

“Oh… Shit. Javi, I’m so sorry, if you don’t wanna do costumes, we don’t have to, you just hadn’t said anything about Día de Los Muertos so I just assumed that-” 

“Baby, it’s okay.” He pushed himself up off the bed, the width of his broad palms wrapping around your hips, trying to ease the guilt he could tell was rapidly consuming you. “You’re right, I never told you about it. It’s been a long time since I’ve done anything to celebrate it, and I haven’t been home for it since I’ve gotten back from Colombia. I just- I don’t really know how to feel about it, I guess. The last time I did anything for it was before my mom died. I was never able to bring myself to do anything about it while I was gone, and I guess now I just feel really shitty that was the way I decided to handle it.” It broke your heart to see the pain in his eyes, pulling yourself closer to him as you wrapped your arms around his stomach, leaning your head against his chest. It was then, the realization had hit you too- This would be your first year of holidays without Patrick. You didn’t know as much as you would have liked to about Día de Los Muertos, but you did know that it was to celebrate the lives of loved ones you’d lost, a feeling that you and Javi were both all too familiar with. 

“Listen…” You raised your head, looking up at him, arms still intertwined around his waist. “I don’t- I don’t wanna make you do anything that you’re uncomfortable with. I guess this is the first time we’ve ever really talked about this kind of stuff. I wanna spend the rest of my life with you, Jav, and that means celebrating the things that are special to both of us. The things that are important to you are important to me too. I want our lives for us, for our future family, to be filled with all the things we care the most about, whether that means keeping old traditions or making our own new ones. It would mean a lot to me to get to celebrate Día de los Muertos with you, and if it’s okay, I would love to sprinkle in some Halloween too, because I’m fucking dying to carve a pumpkin.” 

You smiled up at him as his hand slid under your jaw, his thumb tracing across your cheek as he tried his best to hold back the tears welling in his eyes. It took everything in him to not ruin his plans, wanting to run into the bedroom, grab the ring out of his sock drawer and propose to you that very instant. Even after all this time, Javi still couldn't believe that he was the person you wanted to share the rest of your life with. That you wanted to intertwine your past, present, and future with his, to have a life, a family, together that the two of you could cherish forever. Never in a million years had he assumed he’d be anywhere close to where he was today, holding the world’s most beautiful, perfect woman in his arms, as she told him how she wanted nothing more than to build a family and spend the rest of her days with him. 

“Osita… I fucking love you so much, you know that?” He leaned in, his lips meeting yours in a soft and deep kiss, your heart racing as he pulled you in tighter. 

“Yeah, I mean, I guess, just a little bit…” You giggled, poking fun at him, considering not a day had passed since the first night he had said it that Javi hadn’t told you just how much he loved you. 

“Shut up, you dork.” He chuckled, making you squeal as he picked you up, playfully shaking you in his grasp before setting you back down. “I’d love nothing more, Hermosa. I don’t know how the fuck you’re supposed to carve a pumpkin or what the hell you have planned for these costumes, but I’m all in. I want it all with you, Osita. Thank you.” 

“Of course. For as much or as little as you want to do for Día de los Muertos, I’m all in too. I’m gonna be honest, I love Hallowen. Not as much as Christmas, but it’s a close second. It means you’re gonna have to trust me with a giant ass knife and cover yourself in pumpkin guts, though.”

“My trust is quickly starting to fade. Seriously though, what the hell are we supposed to dress up as?” He raised an eyebrow at you, nodding over to the pile of clothes you had pulled from your closet, now piled on the floor. 

“Don’t worry, I’ve got some ideas.” 

  The weeks leading up to the holidays had made for fun at home date nights, the both of you genuinely looking forward to learning about the traditions you had both held so dear to your hearts. Almost every night after work, you had done something to celebrate the events leading up to the day. You had shown Javi a few of your favorite Halloween movies, including It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown, Beetlejuice, and Ghostbusters, very adamantly insisting to him that those movies were about as scary as you were going to get, blaming your brothers for scarring you after forcing you to watch The Exorcist at the ripe age of 7 years old. In addition to the movies, you had told him about other funny Trick-Or-Treating stories from your childhood, Javi’s favorite being how your brothers, (being the ruthless idiots they were) paid one of their friends in all of their halloween candy to jump out of a bush dressed as a terrifying old lady to scare the absolute shit out of you, and making you quite literally pee your pants. In return Javi shared his favorite memories of cooking in the kitchen with his mom as she made Pan de Muertos for his family, the two of you even attempting to make it one of the nights after work, milling about the kitchen together as Javi told you about his family you had yet to meet, or had passed away long before you. 

After a lengthy hunt, you were able to find pumpkins, bringing them to Chucho’s house to carve them since you had nowhere to put them inside your apartment. You offered him the rest of your Pan de Muertos in exchange for a place to work on your pumpkins, and while he gladly accepted the bread, the three of you knew Chucho was always happy to have you and Javi over, regardless. 

“So tell me, mija,” Chucho spoke in between mouthfuls of sweet bread, rocking back and forth in his chair, “is there a meaning behind carving the pumpkins, or is it just for fun?” 

“Just for fun! Okay, it looks like we’re ready, you want me to show you how to do it, or just let you go for it?” You smiled at Javi, the two of you sitting cross legged on Chucho’s porch, pumpkins open in front of you. 

“You just scoop them out, right?” Javi questioned, looking into the pumpkin with an unsure grimace. “It seems like there's a lot in here, Osita. I have to get all of it out?” 

“Yeah, or else you can’t see the design when you carve it. C’mon you big baby, just stick your hand in there and pull the guts out!” You laughed, digging your hand into your pumpkin, scooping out hearty globs of pumpkin guts, slopping them into the bucket Chucho had set out for you. Reluctantly, Javi joined, you and Chucho both absolutely dying at Javi’s face as his hand met the squishy fibers inside his pumpkin. 

“Jesus, that feels fucking gross!” He laughed, shaking his head as he threw some of the seeds and strings into the trash next to him. 

“You need me to do it for you?” You giggled, flicking a pumpkin seed at him as he winced with the second handful he pulled out. 

“No, cabrón (asshole), I can do it.” Javi grumbled as he rolled his eyes at you, the both of you scooping hearty handfuls of goop. 

“You hear that, Chucho? Calling me an asshole because he’s too scared to pull out pumpkin guts.” You looked back at his dad, giving him a playful grin, his smile already wide from the enjoyment of watching the two of you. With your back turned to Javi, you hadn’t noticed the small handful of seeds he had collected in his hand, lining up his arm to aim right at the back of your head. “I can’t believe that- HEY!” You whipped your neck around, running your hand over the back of your neck, picking seeds and strings out of your hair, seeing Javi snicker to himself as your jaw dropped open in shock. “Did you seriously just throw pumpkin guts at me?!” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, must have been a ghost.” He shrugged, smirking to himself before digging his hand back into his pumpkin. 

“You see this?!” You looked back at Chucho, pointing your finger at Javi, pretending to be stern, although your laughter quickly escaped. “Absolutely ridiculous, I swear.” 

“Javier, that is no way to treat your future esposa! (Wife) No quiero mis nietos ser cubierto en calabaza! Me encantáran en cualquier caso, pero todavía! (I don’t want my future grandchildren covered in pumpkin! I will love them either way, but still!)” Chucho scolded with a smirk, you and Javi silently smiling to each other at the thought of one day doing this with your own children. Javi had tried to stop fighting off his dad’s comments about grandkids a while ago- Chucho knew just as well as the two of you that he would have his grandchildren soon enough. 

“Ella lo pído… (She asked for it…)” Javi muttered under his breath, shooting his gaze up at you as he felt cold goop hit the side of his cheek, wiping the pumpkin you had just thrown at him off with the back of his hand, watching you smirk silently to yourself as you continued to scoop out your pumpkin.

“Ahora… Estamos a mano. (And now… We’re even.)” 

The 3 of you chatted on the porch, the sky now painted a dark black, filled with twinkling constellations above as you finished carving your pumpkins. Yours, a cute ghost with a little smiley face, and Javi’s, what he had tried to convince you and Chucho was also a ghost, even though it looked more like he had just carved a squiggly hole in the middle of his. It took a little prodding and convincing, but as you all talked about how the Peña family had spent many a Día de los Muertos, you and Chucho were able to get Javi to agree to go visit his mom’s gravesite on the Sunday after you got back from Steve and Connie’s party. Chucho had even promised to keep his tias, tios, and primos (aunts, uncles, and cousins) completely out of the picture this year, wanting to give Javi all the time and space he needed to go see his mom for the first time since her funeral. He was reluctant at first, riddled with the guilt of leaving her unvisited all these years, but as he felt the gentle squeeze of your hand, your silent reassurance was all he needed to know that you would be by his side, every step of the way. As you said your goodbyes, Chucho hugged you just a little extra tighter than normal, as if to thank you for everything you had done for his son, and just how thankful he was to have you in his life, too. 

Even though the Murphy’s had very graciously offered to let you and Javi stay on Friday night as well as Saturday, both Steve and Connie very much understood when you had told them on the phone that the only thing that you wanted to do after coming home from the chaos of managing an elementary school Halloween party was take a very, very long nap. You and Javi had spent the night ordering pizza and watching Young Frankenstein, only lasting about 20 minutes into the movie before you were dead asleep, snoring against Javi’s chest, still dressed in If You Give A Mouse A Cookie costume from earlier today. Carrying you to bed and undressing you from your mouse ears and oversized overalls, Javi curled into bed next to you, pulling your body against his as he stared at the ceiling. Despite how hard he tried to fall asleep, he laid there, wide awake as ever, as his head raced with the tornado of thoughts brewing inside his brain. 

Javier Peña had never really considered himself to be an anxious person. For most of his life, he couldn’t be. For the sake of his job, the sake of his family after his Mom passed, Javi had survived the only way he had known how- Block it out, and ignore it. And so far, that strategy had seemed to bode for him pretty darn well. But that was before he had anyone who depended on him, cared about him, anyone who made his life worth living for. That was before he had met you. Now, Javi found himself at the crossroads of a moment he had been waiting for since the moment he had first laid eyes on you. Something that brought him absolute joy and sheer terror at the same time- Javier Peña was going to propose to you, and he was an anxious fucking mess. 

If that in itself wasn’t enough, things at the Laredo County Sheriff's Department had been an absolute shit show. Mexico was the only thing on anyone’s radar, making for long days and high tension at the office, trying to do anything to slow the spread of the cartel’s influence across the border. Day after day, report after report, it felt like the department was drowning in the endless shitty news of new death tolls, record breaking trafficking stats, and lack of control as cocaine moved across the Rio Grande at a groundbreaking pace. Even though he found himself even further removed from Mexico than he ever was in Colombia, he couldn’t help but feel that painful, searing wrench in his gut when he sat down to really think about it. 

You. 

Spending your lives together.

Having a family.

Protecting his wife and kids. 

The things he would do to keep you safe.

The terrible things he had done he had justified were keeping other people safe. 

The imagines of the things he wish he could unsee.

The pain and hurt he wished he could take back. 

The fear of what he was capable of doing. 

So with a knot in his chest from work, a ring hidden away in his sock drawer, and the beginnings of a plan to ask the woman he loved more than life itself to marry him, Javi coped with the weight of his stress the only way he knew how. He couldn’t fucking sleep. 

The thoughts played in his mind on repeat, torturing him with every loop around his brain. He tried his best to close his eyes, to empty his head for a moment of peace, but no matter how much he wished he could have willed himself to sleep, it was no use. By the time the alarm clock on his nightstand read 2:05 AM, Javi had completely given up on the idea of rest for the night, quietly making his way out of bed to go wander around the living room. It wasn’t long before you too were also awake, rolling over in your sleep to find Javi’s space in the bed cold and empty. Rubbing your eyes and propping yourself up against your pillow, you scanned around the darkness of your room as you came to, realizing that Javi was nowhere to be found.  Draping one of the blankets from your bed over you, you crept into the hallway, greeted by the soft light of one of the living room lamps painting shadows against the wall. 

“Javi, are you up?” Your voice still soft and sleepy, rubbing your hand along your face, squinting from the sudden brightness that lit up the room. 

“Osita, baby, did I wake you up? I'm so sorry. Go back to bed, okay?” Javi shot up from the couch, setting down whatever book he had been half focused on reading as he watched your bed headed figure meander into the living room. 

“No, it’s okay.” You grumbled, holding out your blanket covered arms for Javi to melt his body into yours, wrapping you in a tight hug. You pressed your head into the bare skin of his chest, snaking your hands around his waist as he planted his lips against the the top of your head, burying his nose in your tangled hair. “Baby, what’s going on? Why can’t you sleep? I’m worried about you, Jav.” 

“I’m… Yeah, I’m okay, Hermosa. Just a lot on my mind.” He sighed, his exhale still buried in your hair as he savored the smell of you, still lingering even in your sleepy state. 

His pause alone was enough to know okay wasn’t the word that you would use to describe Javi right now. His words were burdened and fatigued, making it clear that whatever was on his mind was weighing on him more heavily than he wanted to admit. 

“Are you sure? Javi, if you wanna talk about anything, you know I’m always here, right?” 

You wanted so desperately to pry. Everything in you had a feeling that whatever was keeping him up were entangled in the parts of his dark parts past, the last secrets holding up the final wall between the two of you. You knew from your brothers how hard it was to talk about the pain and suffering they had witnessed, and begging them to talk about it before they were ready only seemed to make it worse. Hell, after Patrick died, it felt like you didn’t sleep for weeks, and it had taken you months to open up about it. You knew Javi hurt, and as much as you wanted to, digging deeper into the things that plagued him in his restless nights wasn’t what he needed right now. Right now, he just needed someone to be there for him. 

“Is there anything I can do, Javi? I just wanna help.” The breath of your sympathetic whispers were hot against Javi’s skin, squeezing your arms to pull him as close to you as he could. He paused for a moment, letting out another deep breath as cradled the back of your head with his palm, running his hands through your hair. 

“Will- Will you stay up with me? Just a little bit longer?” His voice trembled as you turned your head to lock your eyes with his, the gentle nod of your head bringing him a moment of relief. 

“Of course, baby. Of course I’ll stay up with you. Do you wanna turn on the TV or put on a movie? Sometimes that helps me sleep.” You stretched your arms over your head, scrunching your face as you yawned before tugging your blanket tighter around your body. 

“Believe me, Hermosa, I know it does.” He let out a soft chuckle as he pressed a soft kiss against your forehead. 

“Oh shit, yeah that is true. I don’t even think I made it halfway through Young Frankenstein tonight, which is a crime. It’s such a good movie. I don’t even remember getting into bed.” You yawned again, this time taking one of your blanket covered fists to try and rub the sleep out of your eyes, forcing yourself to stay awake. 

“Well, if you give a mouse pizza and a movie after a long day at school, then she’ll probably need her boyfriend to carry her to bed because she’s so tired.” Now awake enough, Javi’s cute jab at your costume for school made you let out a little giggle, giving him a little shove with your blanket wrapped body. “Why don’t we turn the rest of it on, so you can finish watching?” 

“I don’t wanna fall asleep on you, Javi.” You grumbled, pouting up at him, considering he had just asked you to stay awake with him. 

“It’s okay. As long as I have you by me, I’ll be alright, I promise.” Reluctantly, you nodded in agreement, plopping yourself on the couch as Javi turned on the TV, rewinding the VHS tape to the point where you had fallen asleep earlier before joining you, draping his arm around your shoulder as you tucked in your knees and scooted closer to him. You sat for a few minutes in silence, letting the sounds of the movie fill the background. As you turned your head to look up at Javi, you could tell that even though his eyes were pointed at the screen, there was no way he was really watching the movie. Reaching up your hand, you ran your fingers across the length of his strong jaw, his stubble scratching against your palm, forcing him to look back at you. Your eyes met his, the sweet, chocolate brown looking back at you, with a confusing mix of exhaustion, guilt, want and helplessness. You brought your face closer to his, your lips now only inches apart as your whispers danced against his mouth, desperate to find something to ease his pain. 

“What do you need, Javi? Whatever you need, I’ll give it to you.” 

His tongue swept against his bottom lip, taking one last shaky breath before his words left his body with his exhale. 

“You. I need you.” 

His hands found their way to the bare skin of your thighs, his fingertips barely brushing against your flesh as he traced his way up to your torso, toying with the hem of one of his shirts that always looked so much better on you than him. Pressing his palm against the soft curves of your stomach, he tugged at the waistband of your sleep shorts, causing you to shift your body so he could slide them down your legs. Reaching over towards his lap, you grasped at his boxers, feeling him already half hard under the fabric as you rubbed your hand against him. Javi held your hips, slowly guiding you to straddle him as you kicked your shorts off your feet, leaving them in a pile on the ground. Slowly, you began to grind deeper into his lap, the feeling of him now fully hard beneath you. Gently prompting you to raise your arms over your head, Javi lifted your shirt, leaving you bare as he dropped it next to your shorts. 

“Is this okay?” Javi rasped, pressing languid kisses against your neck and collarbone as you ran your hands against the width of his broad shoulders. 

“Of course, baby.” Your reply low and horse as you began to drag the fabric of his boxers lower and lower, finally letting his cock spring free as his waistband pushed past. You brought your palm to your mouth, licking a long, wet strip across it before wrapping it around his length, thumbing over the precum already leaking from his tip. Javi tilted his head against the back of the couch as you twisted your wrist, stroking his cock, letting out a hushed moan before sitting back up to watch you. 

“You’re fucking perfect, Osita. I don’t deserve you.” He dug his fingertips into the soft flesh of your ass, his sweet, brown eyes locked on yours as you pressed against him, nibbling at his ear. 

“You deserve everything, Javi. I could give you everything in the world and it still wouldn’t be enough.” Javi grasped at your face, cupping your cheeks as he pressed his lips against yours in a deep, intense kiss, his voice shaky and lustful as his mouth parted with yours before he spoke. 

“I don’t need anything besides you, Osita. Eres mi todo. Estás todo lo que necesito. (You are my everything. You’re all I’ll ever need.) He shuttered, letting out a low groan as you continued to rub your hand along his length, Javi now reaching down to trace lazy circles around your clit before dipping his fingers inside your wet heat. His fullness made you whimper, wrapping tighter around his cock as you stroked him, now bucking your hips against his hand as his fingers curled, bumping against the spongy spot that made you lose control. “Does that feel good, sweet girl? Fuck, you’re so wet. 

“Mhmmmmm.” You gasped, rapidly nodding your head as his digits pulsed inside you, your cunt already drenched, desperate to feel the fullness of his dick, despite the thickness of his fingers. Carefully, you lifted your hips, moving yourself closer to him as you ran your fingers through the soft ends of his sleepy curls. Sitting up on your knees, Javi removed his hand as he watched you hover over him, his palms roaming to your hips as you guided his tip through your folds, collecting your arousal before lining him up with your entrance. His jaw went slack as you lowered down on to him, taking your time as you savored the stretch of every sweet inch until you had bottomed out at his base. 

“Fuckkk, baby.” He mewled, gently guiding his hands against your hips as you dragged yourself up along his length before headfully sinking back down, the tip of his cock bumping against your cervix with each movement. Javi nipped at your neck, trailing hot, wet kisses down your collarbone before stopping at your breasts, flicking this tongue along each of your pebbled nipples as you pushed deeper into his lap, whimpering at his touch. “My sweet girl, always taking me so well, like you were fucking made for me, baby. God, you’re so fucking gorgeous.” Javi pulled you in tighter, caging his chest against yours as his arms wrapped around the small of your back as he rested his face in the crook of your neck. “Fuck, I love you so much, Osita.” His words were desperate and needy against your bare skin, digging your fingers into his dark curls as you swirled your hips around his cock. 

“I love you too, Javi. More than anything.” You moaned as felt Javi shift his weight, thrusting upwards as he buried himself deep inside you. His fullness had you digging your nails into the nape of his neck, your body melting into his with each push and pull against each other. You could feel the all too familiar tingle creeping up your legs and through the base of your spine as Javi’s hand found its way to circle around your clit, already throbbing as the curled hair around his base brushed against your sensitive nerves. The lewd noises of your moans and tangled bodies drowned out the sounds of the TV behind you, practically hearing how wet you were as Javi cock slipped in and out of your heat, his pace pounding as he punched into you. You could feel your walls beginning to tighten around him, arousal pooling in your belly, Javi knowing you were close as you whimpered into the crook of his neck. “Fuck baby, don’t stop- ahhhh- please don’t stop, I’m so close.” 

“I know, baby, I know. Let go for me, Osita. Wanna feel you soak my lap before I fuck you full of me. Cum for me baby, it’s okay, I’ve got you.” Javi’s fingers rubbed faster along your clit as you rolled your hips, sinking yourself deeper onto his cock with each thrust, your vision going white as you could feel yourself come undone. 

“Javi, Javi- fuck- Javi, Jav-ahhhhhh.” You could feel yourself gush around him, crying out his name as you reached your high, your legs shaking and fingers digging into his skin, pleasure flowing through your veins. 

“That’s it, Hermosa. Fuck, baby, I’m gonna cum too, fuck myself so deep inside you. My perfect girl. Mierda- Quiero que seas mío para siempre, mi amor. Solo tú, por siempre y para siempre. (Shit- I want you to be mine forever, my love. Only you, forever and always). Fuck me, I- fuckkkk.” Javi hissed as he buried himself deep in your hilt, spilling every drop of his spend against your walls. You could feel the mixture of the both of you dripping down your thighs, soaking Javi’s lap as you slumped into his body, your heart racing as the damp curls of his hair pressed against your shoulder. You both sat there for a moment, letting your chests rise and fall together in sync as you came to. “Fuck me, Osita. I could stay like this forever, baby.”

“You and me both. Although, I feel like that would make things awfully inconvenient for the both of us.” Your soft, sleepy giggles making Javi smile as he ran his fingers though the twisted ends of your hair. Carefully, you lifted yourself up, hissing at the loss of Javi inside you. 

“Thank you, Osita.” Javi whispered, tenderly circling his thumb along your jaw as you curled up next to him. 

“For what?” 

“Just- fuck, you’re so good to me. I don’t know what I’d do without you. So, I just- thank you. Thank you for being everything I need.” Planting a gentle kiss on your forehead, Javi pulled you tighter, holding you in his arms as you leaned against him. 

“I’ll always be here for you, Javi. I promise.” 

You hoped he knew. That he knew your words were true. That when the time came for him to open up to you, letting you into the painful past that loomed above him, that you wouldn’t run. You would be right by his side, just as you were right now. 

“Well good morning, Sleeping Beauty.” Javi chuckled as you twisted in the passenger seat, stretching your arms over your head, scrunching your face, letting out a lengthy yawn. 

“Fuck, how long was I asleep for? How much longer do we have left? Sorry, I wasn’t planning on sleeping that long, I just wanted to take a nap for a little while we drove.” You ran your hands over your face, looking out at the bright Texas sun shining over the neat suburban neighborhood you now found yourself driving through. Javi reached over across the center console, rubbing his hand along your thigh as he chuckled to himself. 

“Baby, I knew from the moment you fell asleep you were gonna be out for the rest of the drive, it’s okay. I was just worried I was gonna have to wake you up in the Murphy’s driveway.” You grumbled as you looked over at Javi, giving him a playful swat against his arm, shaking your head, now emerging from your post nap fog. 

“Well if we weren't up fucking at 2:30 in the morning, perhaps I wouldn’t be so tired, hmmmm?” 

Javi rolled his eyes as you poked fun at how the both of you had found yourselves last night, trying to ease Javi’s sleeplessness. While your solution had worked enough to ease him back to bed, it had now left you wide awake, wondering what had been going through Javi’s head, torturing him enough to keep him up. It had also meant that the two of you had slept in much longer than you intended, leaving later than planned for Steve and Connie’s. The two of you had quickly packed your things and hit the road, stopping to grab lunch on the way before you found yourself dead asleep next to Javi for the last hour and a half of your journey to San Antonio. With only a few minutes now left in your drive, you peered out the window, admiring the houses that lined the quiet streets of the Murphy’s neighborhood. 

“This is a cute subdivision.” You smiled over at Javi, admiring the houses, charming and inviting as they were freshly decorated from Halloween. 

“Yeah, it is pretty nice.” He grinned back, wrapping his palm around your thigh, giving your leg a little squeeze. He took a deep breath, his voice now shifting in tone, becoming more shaky and nervous. “Would you uh- would you, um, wanna live in a neighborhood like this?” 

“Maybe. I don’t know, the houses are all really close together. I spent so much of my life in the city, and even at my house growing up, everything always felt so cramped. After coming here, especially after seeing your ranch, I don’t know, I would love to be somewhere with more space. But that’s a big ask, so, maybe one day if it works out, I guess.” You reached over, rubbing your hand along Javi’s arm, your soft smile meeting his tender gaze as he smirked, nodding to himself. 

“Yeah, one day.” 

Taking a last turn down one of the neighborhood streets, the two of you pulled up to the quaint two story home belonging to the Murphy’s. Turning off the ignition, Javi paused for a moment, grinning to himself as he ran the hand resting on your leg up to your face, cupping your check as his eyes roamed the length of your body, taking every inch of you in as his sweet brown eyes consumed you. “I love you, Osita.”  

“I love you too, Jav.” Both of your heads tilted, your lips gently pressing against one anothers as you traced your hand through Javi’s dark curls, pulling him closer into you. You could feel his smile against your mouth as his tongue barely swiped against your bottom lip, the two of you so lost in the moment, you hadn’t even seen Steve make his way out of the house to greet you, let alone the fact that he was now standing at the driver’s side door, hands on his hips as he watched your impromptu makeout session in Javi’s truck. 

“You two lovebirds want help bringin’ your bags in, or do I need to give you a minute?” Steve chuckled to himself as you and Javi shot up, hearts racing and faces going white hearing his distinct drawl and rapid tapping at the driver’s side window. Taking a deep breath to compose himself, Javi placed one more soft kiss on your forehead before promptly turning around to flip off Steve and opening the driver’s side door. “You two are worse than a pair of horny teenagers, I swear.” You could hear Steve still snickering to himself as you exited out your side of the car, making your way over to find Javi and Steve in a tight hug, lovingly patting each other on the back. 

“Fuck off, Murph.” Javi shook his head against Steve’s embrace, pulling away to grab your two bags from the backseat. 

“Listen, I’m not the one makin’ out in my driveway.” Steve shrugged as you sheepishly emerged from your side of the truck, smiling at you as grimaced at him. 

“He started it…” You glanced over at Javi, you and Steve now both giggling as he pulled you in for a hug. 

“Of course he did, wouldn’t put anything past this old bastard. How ya doin’ sweetheart? Good to see the both of you, we’re really glad you guys could make it. 

“She’s doing great after the hour and a half nap she took on the way here.” Javi interjected, slamming the truck door behind him, slinging both of your bags over his shoulder. 

“Whatever, you meanie. In my defense, I was not planning to sleep that long, and I think Halloween exhaustion got the best of me.” You shot Javi a quick wink, trying to bite down on your lip before turning back to face Steve. 

“Listen, I don’t blame ya. I’m fuckin’ exhausted after trick-or-treating with 3 kids, let alone tryin’ to keep ‘em wrangled at school all day. I love those girls, but I don’t think I could've gotten them in my parents car fast enough when they came to pick ‘em up this morning. Here, come on in, I won’t make you stand out in the driveway all day, unless you need to make out more.” 

As you stepped into the Murphy home, you were greeted by an abundance of Halloween streamers and banners hanging in the living room and up the stairwell to the second floor, along with a few Barbie dolls and accessories scattered across the entryway, nearly stepping on one as you came through the door. You could smell the sweet scent of something baking in the kitchen as Connie came rushing through the hallway, arms outstretched to greet you and Javi. “Oh it’s so good to see you two, thank you so much for coming!” Connie squeezed you and Javi in a tight hug before she backed away, kicking one of the toys on the floor across the room. “Sorry about the Barbies, I told the girls to clean up before they left for their grandparents this morning but I think all 3 of them are still running on a sugar high from last night and that obviously didn’t happen.” 

“Thank you so much for having us! Don’t worry about it at all, I totally understand! Javi was just telling me on the way over how much he was hoping the girls had Barbies he could play with anyways!” The 3 of you laughed as Javi rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest as you gave him a smirk and a little nudge. 

“Fuck, I forgot how funny she was Jav.” Steve snickered to himself, picking up one of the Barbies and tossing it across the room into one of the toy baskets along the wall. “Seriously though, we are really glad you guys could make it. Your birthday party was fun as hell, old man. Glad to be close enough to actually see each other and do stuff like this again.” 

Before Javi would respond, you all jumped, startled by the sound of the kitchen timer beeping rapidly from the other room. “Oh crap, sorry, I gotta grab the cupcakes out of the oven!” Connie grimaced apologetically, making her way back to the kitchen. 

“Do you need any help?” You asked, excited to spend more time with Connie. 

“Oh my gosh actually if you could help with frosting the cupcakes that would be amazing. I made these yesterday for Olivia and Abby’s class parties, and I had no idea it was gonna take so long and was worried I wasn’t going to have enough time for all of them before the party! Thank you!” 

“Of course!” You replied, grinning at her before following her lead to the kitchen, giving a little wave as you disappeared around the hall, looking back at Steve and Javi. “Have fun, you two.” 

Steve paused for a moment until the both of you were out of sight, waiting to forcefully slap his hand against Javi’s chest, making him groan from the unexpected pain. 

“What the fuck was that for, you jackass?” Javi winced, glaring at Steve. 

“Where the fuck’s the ring, man?! Steve hissed through gritted teeth, looking back at Javi in disappointment. “I thought you were gonna fuckin’ do it after you got back from Chicago and met her family?! I thought everything was all good with- oh shit, did something happen with the ho-” 

“Shhhhhh! You fuckin’ idiot, please, talk louder, I don’t think the people at the end of the street could hear you.” Javi looked around the corner, clenching his jaw, praying that you hadn’t heard anything from the kitchen. 

“I’m not that fuckin’ loud… Shit, what the fuck happened then?” Steve grumbled, looking over at Javi with concern. 

“Can we maybe talk about proposal plans somewhere that’s not right by the woman I’m trying to propose to?” Running his thumb over his balled fists, Javi’s eyes darted back and forth, staying on the lookout for your return. 

“Fine, fine, fine. I’ll show you where the guest room is and then you can tell me.” Steve motioned up the stairs, Javi trailing behind with both your bags draped around his shoulders

“Was I really that fuckin’ loud?” 

“…Have you heard yourself talk?” 

“So how’s everything been going at work? There definitely was a full moon sometime in the past week because things were crazy at the hospital, I’m sure they had to be equally as bad at an elementary school.” You and Connie giggled as you squeezed a dollop of orange frosting onto one of the cupcakes before taking one of the little bags to pipe on eyes and a mouth to make it look like a pumpkin. 

“Oh my god, I think it must have been on Wednesday, I had a boy cut another girl’s hair with scissors and then had to call another parent because her daughter bit another kid at recess pretending to play werewolves. I felt really bad we didn’t come last night, I was exhausted after our Halloween party, I fell asleep on poor Javi at like, 8 o’clock.” 

Although you found yourself laughing with Connie again, you couldn’t help but shake the uncomfortable feeling you had in your gut as you thought about after you had woken up in the middle of the night to find Javi wide awake and distressed. You carefully set down your spatula, taking a deep breath before glancing over at Connie, still frosting next to you. “Hey, uh, Connie? Can, um- Can I ask you something?” Connie immediately sensed the shift in your tone, putting down her cupcake. 

“Of course, honey. What’s going on?” 

“Did um, did- Did Steve ever- ever talk to you? About all the stuff that happened in Colombia? I mean like, I know you were there, but I don’t know. Sorry, I don’t know what I’m trying to ask, this is probably way too personal, I-” You could feel yourself shrinking, retracting in embarrassment at your overly intrusive question, unable to finish your thought before Connie cut you off, placing her hand on your shoulder. 

“Oh, honey…” Her eyes were filled with sympathy as they looked back at yours, letting out a sigh before she responded. “Did something happen?” You began to nod your head no, even though you could feel the words yes burning in your throat. You took another shaky breath, trying to hold back the tears now welling in your eyes as you spoke. 

“No I mean- well, yeah, I guess. Last night, I woke up and Javi wasn’t in bed. He was out in the living room and I could tell that something was bothering him. I don’t know- maybe it was nothing. I just- when my brothers came back from active duty, there were a lot of things that kind of just went unspoken. I knew it was hard for them to talk about. Charlie handled it okay, but my brother Patrick never wanted to talk to anyone about what happened, and it just- I don’t know Connie, I don’t think Javi would ever do anything stupid like he did, but- fuck- it scares me sometimes. I know Javi’s done things that he’s probably not proud of, and I get it’s part of the nature of what his job was. I don’t care. I really don’t. People do shitty things when they’re put in shitty situations. But he never talks about it. Ever. Does… Does he not trust me? I care about him so much, Con. More than anything. I get so worried about him.” 

Your tears were now streaming down your cheeks, leaving your face wet as you wiped the back of your hand across your skin to try and do some form of damage control before Connie embraced you, pulling you in for a hug, tightly wrapping her arms around you. “Oh sweetheart. Of course he trusts you. When Steve came back, he was a mess. I don’t think it really all hit him until he was finally home. I guess you’re right, it was different because I was there, but even then, there were things that happened that I didn’t know about. After begging and begging him, I finally got him to go to see someone and it really helped, but even now, there’s times where it still creeps up on him. Honey, Javi loves you so much. I didn’t think I’d ever live to see the day he was in love as he is with you. If he’s anything like Steve, he just doesn't wanna hurt you.” 

You sniffled, taking a step back to wipe your nose with your sleeve, your lip trembling as you tried to keep from crying harder than you already were. “But that’s what hurts, Connie. It hurts me to think he has to keep this from me, like I’m gonna think less of him for what he’s been through.” 

“I know. Have you talked to him about it?” Connie’s voice was gentle and sweet, rubbing her hand along your arm as she listened to what you needed to get off your chest. 

“No… I guess I should have. I never wanted to pry. I know it’s hard to talk about, I just- I wanna be there for him Connie. I don’t want him to have to do it all on his own.” You shifted your gaze to the ground, guilt washing over you. After Patrick, you couldn’t live with the idea of letting Javi try to suffer through his past alone. You loved him more than anything- and even the slightest thought of going through anything similar to what had happened to Patrick again with Javi was almost paralyzing. 

“I think the best thing you can do is to go talk to him.” Looking back up, you saw Connie smiling at you, trying to convince you that everything would be okay, even if it felt like it wasn’t. “Why don’t you go find him? Party’s starting soon anyways, you can go change into your costumes and come down wherever you’re ready. I’ll be just fine with the cupcakes, tell Steve can put himself to work frosting.” The both of you grinned as you tried to wipe your tears, nodding slowly in agreement. 

“Thanks, Connie.” You whispered into her shoulder as you pulled her in for a hug before heading up the stairs to find where Javi and Steve had gone. It didn’t take you long to find the pair, hearing their voices carry through the hallway from the slightly cracked door of the guest bedroom. You were about to knock and interrupt their conversation, stopping yourself with your fist barely touching the door as you tried to make out what they were talking about. 

“The offer was in fucking cash, too. I was trying to make it easier so I could speed up the process, but it’s been taking them so goddamn long to close on everything so I can finally go sign the fucking paperwork.” 

“That fuckin’ blows, Jav. I’m sorry. It’s not like she knows any better, though. It’ll still be a huge fuckin’ surprise, I’ll tell you that much.” 

“I know. It’s been killing me to wait this long. I just want it to be perfect, Steve. She deserves everything. Honestly, I’m kinda glad it bought me some more time. I need to find a way to get her to see it before everything’s official in case she fucking hates it.” 

“Javi. She’s not gonna hate it. Fuck it, tell her Connie and I are lookin’ for somethin’ and we wanted you two to go see it for us. I don’t know, maybe that’s too obvious. Speakin’ of which, I should probably go check to see if she needs anything before this party, I’m already in the fuckin’ dog house for forgettin’ to bring the girl’s trick-or-treatin’ bags to school, I don’t need to be in trouble for anything else.” 

What the hell were they talking about? What was Javi signing? Why was it taking so long? What the hell did it have to do with you? Wait… holy fuck. No way… Was he- 

Before you could finish your thought, you suddenly realized Steve was making his way towards the door. You quickly rapped your fist against the wood, trying to play off the fact you had been eavesdropping and make it look like you had just unassumingly made your way upstairs, not overhearing the conversation the two were just having. 

Knock, knock. 

“Hey, it’s me! Uh, Steve, Con wants to know if you can help her with the cupcakes really quick.” You pushed open the door, trying your best to smile at the suspicious pair as Steve shook his head, looking back at Javi. 

“It’s always fuckin’ somethin’. I don’t even know what I did wrong this time, I swear.” Steve held up his hands defensively, sliding his way past you in the doorway before heading downstairs, leaving you standing there awkwardly, unsure how to feel after your conversation with Connie and the one you had just overheard. 

“Hey, Osita. How’s everything goin’ down there? Sorry, we were just about to come down and- Hey, baby, you okay?” Javi stood up, concern spreading across his face from the strange scrunch in your brow as you stared at the floor. 

“Ummmm…” You froze for a moment, unsure of what to do. On the one hand, your conversation with Connie had you ready to confront Javi, to finally work up the courage to ask him about the past life he had tried his best to keep from you. But as you glanced over at him, seeing his sweet brown eyes and stupidly handsome face, remembering the discussion you had just overheard through the doorway, the other hand meant you weren’t at risk of ruining your night that the two of you had been so looking forward to, and right now, the other hand was going to have to be the one you needed to play. “Yeah, yeah, I’m good, I just- I was gonna ask you something but forgot what I was gonna say. I’m sure I’ll remember it eventually.” You smiled at Javi, neither of you completely convinced by your response. “But um, Connie said that people are gonna start getting here soon, so we can change into our costumes if you want.” A smirk slowly stretched across your cheeks as you nodded over to the black duffle bags laying on the bed. 

Javi’s grin matched yours quickly, grabbing your hips and pulling you closer against him as you giggled. “You sure we’re not gonna be the only ones dressed up?” 

“Well considering it’s a Halloween party and I literally just talked to Connie about what she and Steve are wearing downstairs, I’m gonna give it a pretty confident yes. Worst case, it just looks like you’re wearing a white shirt and vest, Mr. Solo. You stuck up, half-witted, scruffy looking nerf herder.” You raised your eyebrows, playfully poking at his chest. Javi paused, shaking his head at your quote, firing one right back at you as he bit down on his lip. 

“You just like me because I’m a scoundrel. There aren’t enough scoundrels in your life.” 

“I happen to like nice men.” 

“I am a nice man.”  

Javi cupped your face, pulling you in for a long, heavy kiss before backing away to unpack your bags, shooting you a quick wink as you rolled your eyes. Jesus, he even found a way to make Star Wars sexy. Just when you thought you couldn’t be anymore in love, Javier Peña never failed to find a way to make you realize you’d never stop falling for him. 

After putting in what felt like the 74th bobby pin into your hair after getting the last braid wrapped over your head, you gave yourself a once over in the mirror, pleasantly surprised by how well your costume had turned out. While Javi was disappointed you were adamant you were not going as Princess Leia from Return of the Jedi and showing up in front of a group of strangers at Steve and Connie’s party in her slave costume, you and Javi both agreed that Hoth Princess Leia was definitely the next best look. Staring at you with his puppy dog eyes, Javi had been adamant about waiting with you as you finished getting ready, leaning his hip against the bathroom counter, arms crossed over his chest as he watched you finish the last of your hair and makeup. 

“Okay, I think that should stay. All those years of braiding my hair for under my hockey helmet are finally coming in handy for something.” You snickered, pushing the final clip into your hair to hold it into place, giving yourself a once over in the mirror. As you looked yourself down, Javi’s eyes wandered up and down your body just as fast, practically undressing you as fast as you had put your costume on. 

“Goddamn, Osita… Fuck, you’re so hot.” 

“Me? Jesus Christ, Javi. You put Harrison Ford to shame with how fucking good you look. I like Han Solo better with a mustache anyways.” You licked your tongue against your bottom lip, running your hands along the muscles of his arms, straining against the tight henley shirt he was wearing under his vest. You were no better than Javi, practically having to force yourself to not look in his general direction while you were getting ready to prevent yourself from pouncing on him. But given the lack of chatter downstairs, and the impressive speed at which the two of you had gotten ready, you really couldn’t help yourself. Slowly, you let your hands begin to slip down his arms and across his chest, palming at the denim of his black jeans as he let out a deep groan. 

“Hermosa…” He hissed against your neck as you grasped at the bulge now growing under his pants, your other hand now making its way down to undo his belt, the clinking of the metal drowned out by Javi’s heavy panting. You began lowering your body, sliding Javi’s pants and boxers down his thighs as his cock sprang free, his tip already red and leaking with precum. You rested on your knees, face to face with his length as you wrapped your hand around him, slowly stroking him a few times. 

“This okay, Captain Solo?” You batted your lashes at him, giving him a wink before letting your spit dribble onto his cock, taking his tip into your mouth and swirling your tongue around it. Curling your fingers around his base, you began to twist your wrist, hollowing out your cheeks as you took him deeper into your mouth. 

“Oh, fuck me. Holy shit, Osita.” He moaned, tilting his head back, letting his jaw go slack as your head bobbed back and forth. He gently rested his hand along the side of your face, helping to guide you along his length as you took him deeper and deeper down your throat. “Jesus Christ, baby. Fuck, that feels so good. You look so hot, god fuckin’ dammit.” Javi’s words were labored and shaky as you started to increase your pace, wrapping your free hand around the back of his bare thigh, digging your fingertips into his leg. Feeling the pressure beginning to build in his stomach, Javi began rocking his hips, his jaw completely slack as he looked down at the sight of how well you took him in your mouth, saliva dribbling down your chin as sucked along his cock, hard and heavy on your tongue. “Fuck, Osita. I’m not gonna last much longer. Can I cum like this, baby? Fill up that- fuck- fill up that pretty little mouth of yours?”” 

You glanced up at him, nodding, your lips still wrapped around his dick, the motions of your head and wrist now becoming faster and sloppier as you watched Javi’s brow scrunch and jaw clench, a sign you knew all too well that he was moments away from coming undone. 

“Such a good fucking girl, taking me so well. Fuck, baby- shit- se sientes tan bien, estoy tan cercaaahhhhhh-” (you feel so good, I’m so closeeeee-). The hot ropes of his spend coated the back of your throat, the salty, tangy mix filling your mouth as Javi whined, giving his hips one last push as kept your lips wrapped around him, making sure that you had milked him of every last drop before releasing. Letting your spit and his release fall from the corners of your lips, you wiped your mouth with the back of your hand, smirking up at Javi’s blissed out expression. “Jesus Christ, Osita. You’re too fucking good at that. Holy shit. Lemme take care of-“ 

You held up your hand to stop him as you stood up, your gesture cutting off the rest of his sentence as you helped to pull up his jeans and boxers still resting along his thighs. “I’m allowed to give my hot ass boyfriend blowjobs without anything in return. C’mon, we better get downstairs before Steve walks in on us again.” You pressed up on your tiptoes, planting a quick kiss on Javi’s lips as he reached down to buckle his belt before the two of you tried your best to fix yourself up in the mirror to avoid the inevitable shit Steve was about to give the both of you. Giving Javi a quick nod in the mirror before turning off the light and heading out the door, he gave your ass a playful smack, making you squeal in surprise, making you turn on your heels. Resting his hand on his hip, he beamed at you, biting down on his lip. 

“Fuck, I love you.” 

“I know.” 

The Murphy’s living room had begun to pool with guests as you made your way down the stairs, looking for Steve and Connie amongst the crowd. You and Javi both grabbed a beer from the cooler at the bottom of the stairwell, quickly turning around as you heard Steve’s familiar twang approaching behind you. 

“Well I’ll be damned. You got this motherfucker in a costume? He must really love you.” Steve chuckled, shaking Javi by the shoulders. “And Star Wars too?! You asshole, how many times did I try to tell you they were good fuckin’ movies?! You shoulda dressed him up like Jabba the Hut.” You and Steve cackled as Javi rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, and what the fuck are you supposed to be? A sad pirate?” Javi jabbed, poking fun at Steve’s poorly put together costume. 

“Listen, Olivia and Abby both wanted to be the Little Mermaid, so we had two Ariel’s, Con was Ursula, Madison was the yellow fish and I didn’t wanna be that annoying ass crab, so pirate it was, asshole.” Steve retorted, punching at Javi’s arm, the two of them laughing at each other like little boys. “Alright, go enjoy yourselves lovebirds, I’ll see ya in a little bit. And Javi?”

“Yeah Murph?” 

“You really gotta start checkin’ your pants, buddy.” 

Javi’s cheeks turned red, his eyes darting down to his zipper, still all the way undone from your activities upstairs, the both of you grimacing at each other, sheepishly avoiding eye contact with Steve as he disappeared into the crowd. 

It really wasn’t a surprise to Javi how many friends the Murphy’s had already managed to make in their time since moving to San Antonio. Their house was quickly crowded with all sorts of people- Steve and Connie’s co-workers, neighbors, parents of friends Olivia and Abby had made at school, regardless of where the party goers were from, everyone had collectively agreed to make adult Halloween just as fun as any kids. You and Javi were having a great time catching up with Steve and Connie, as well as meeting some of their other close friends, one of Connie’s neighbors being an elementary school teacher, giving you two plenty to commiserate about from the hellish week it had been. It didn’t take long for the party to move outside, Steve drunkenly deciding that he needed to make a bonfire, despite adamant argument that with the amount of alcohol Steve had in his system, he was going to spontaneously combust if he got close enough to a flame. Javi, sober enough to still help his friend make rational decisions, was glad that Steve was happy to let him build the bonfire. 

“The force is strong with you, Han Solo.” You giggled, Javi wrapping his arm around your shoulder, pressing a soft kiss into your forehead as the two of you stared into the flickering orange glow of the fire pit. 

“Not strong enough to extinguish Steve if he got close enough to it. Hey, I got shit all over my hands, I’m gonna go to the bathroom and wash ‘em off. You need anything while I’m inside, Princess?” You smiled as you nudged Javi at the nickname he had been adamant about using since you had put on your costume. 

“I’m good, thank you. I’m gonna go wait over on the swingset so I don’t completely reek of bonfire later.” Javi nodded as he slid his hand down your back, giving your ass a quick squeeze before making his way through the crowd, heading towards the house. Surprised no one else had capitalized on the chance to sit down, you wandered over to the wooden playset at the corner of the Murphy’s backyard, taking a seat on one of the plastic swings, kicking your feet against the grass below. 

“Hey, there she is! How goes it, Leia?” Taking a few long strides through the yard, Steve was now quickly making his way over to you, stumbling over his own feet as he somehow managed to sit himself down on the swing next to you. You tried your best not to laugh at Steve’s drunken state, but his current antics weren’t making it very easy on you. 

“I could ask the same to you. You doin’ okay there, pirate?” 

“Fuck sweetheart, I’m doin’ fuckin’ great. Where’s the asshole?” 

“Inside, I’m sure he’ll be back out soon.” You snickered at Steve watching the beer dribble down his chin from the overly confident swig he had taken. 

“Good, I don’t need ‘em right now. You were the one I was lookin’ for.” Steve pointed in your general direction, but clearly wasn’t aware enough to hit his target head on. 

“Me?” You laughed, pointing back to yourself. 

“Yes, you. You talk to him yet?”

“About?” You paused, wondering if Steve had any inkling of the conversation you were planning to have earlier, or if he was drunkenly deciding you and Javi needed to discuss something else. 

“You know about what. I talked to Connie earlier. I figured I owed it to you to come talk to you about it, too.” 

Your heart began to race, that uncomfortable feeling once again beginning to churn in your stomach as you thought about the things you and Connie had discussed earlier. “Steve, you don’t owe me anything, I-” 

“No, I do. Hold on a second.” Steve turned away, letting out a hearty burp, pouding on his chest before facing back towards you. “Sorry, I’ve been holdin’ that in for like 10 minutes, I needed to let it out. Anyways… What was I sayin’? Oh shit, yeah, the grumpy bastard. Listen, sweetheart. I know it’s gonna fuckin’ suck,  but you gotta be the one to bring it up and talk to him about it. If I know anything about that motherfucker, it’s that he will bottle things up for way too fuckin’ long until someone gets it out of him. He’s a good guy. He says he’s not, but he is. Saved my ass more times than I can count. That job made us do some fucked up shit neither of us are fuckin’ proud of. But that doesn’t mean he gets to keep it from you. I swear to God, that asshole is so fuckin’ in love with you, it makes me sick. You make him so happy. He just doesn’t wanna fuck up the best thing that’s ever happened to him.” 

You weren’t sure if it was the right thing to do, but in that moment, all you could manage was to reach over to the swing next to you, pulling Steve in for a hug as you tried to keep your tears from staining his shirt. “Thanks, Steve.” You whispered, leaning back into your seat, using your sleeve to wipe the wetness from your cheeks. 

“I know you love him too. You deserve to know. Don’t let him be a stubborn jackass to you, okay? I’m bein’ serious. I should be the one thankin’ you though, honey. In all the years I’ve known him, I never thought I’d see ‘em this happy. I promise I won’t get this drunk at your wedding.” Steve winked, straining to push himself up out of the swing, somehow managing to catch his balance as he stumbled into the grass. 

“You do make a very inspirational drunk, Steve.” You laughed to yourself, looking up at him with a genuine smile. “Thank you.” 

“You’re welcome. Alright, enough sap, I’m gonna go get another fuckin’ beer, I’ll see ya around okay?” 

“Okay, maybe a water would be good for you, too.” 

“Water’s for pussies.” 

“Water’s good for people who don’t want raging hangovers tomorrow.” 

“Pirates are always drunk, so I’ll be fuckin’ fine.” 

“Whatever you say, Steve.” 

It didn’t take long for Javi to return, easily spotting his tall, broad body making his way through the crowd, beaming at you as he walked over to the swings. You tried your best to smile back at him with the uneasy pounding in your chest quickly building, feeling your heartbeat in your throat. “Hey, Hermosa. Sorry it took so long, I ended up stopping to get another drink on the-“ 

“Do- Javi, do you trust me?” 

Your words were quiet and blunt as they rolled off your tongue, your eyes peeled on your feet kicking through the grass beneath you. 

Javi’s brow immediately scrunched in confusion, completely off put by your question and demeanor. “Do I- Baby, what are you talking about? Of course I trust you? What’s going on?” Setting down his drink, he began making his way next to you in frantic, worried strides. 

“Then why won’t you talk to me about it?” Your eyes darted from the ground up to his, his sweet brown eyes swirling with confusion at the firm tone of your voice and desperation growing across your face. 

“Talk to you about what? Hermosa, what’s going on? Is everything ok-” 

“Why won’t you talk to me about Colombia?” 

 Javi took a step back. He wasn’t sure if it was out of defense, or absolute shock from the words that had just fallen out of your mouth. He stared at you for a moment, his jaw locking as you could see how hard he swallowed, trying to bide his time as he calculated his response. 

“Osita… It’s not that simple.” 

“That’s not an answer.” 

“I don’t understand why we’re talking about this. Baby, if this is because of last night, you don’t need to worry about me, can we please just drop it?” The two of you faced each other in an unspoken standoff, Javi’s hands now resting on his hips as you crossed your arms over your chest. You had tried so hard to be patient, but in the moment, it was like all of your frustration was beginning to boil over. 

“That’s exactly why we’re talking about this, Javi. Because I fucking worry about you. All the time. I’ve tried so hard to be patient. I’ve never, ever tried to get you to talk about it because I know it’s fucking hard. But last night, you’re up at 2 A.M, wandering around the apartment, and I’m begging you to tell me what’s wrong and you won’t fucking do it. I’m not an idiot, Javi. I can’t live in this weird in between space in your life where you pretend your past doesn’t exist when I know it still fucking haunts you. Why won’t you just talk to me about it?” 

Javi could feel his heart pounding in his chest, his palms sweating as they clenched in tight fists at his sides. He tried so desperately to find an answer, something, anything he could tell you to try and justify his choices. The choices he had kept from you. The choices he couldn’t forgive himself for. “Because, I- fuck- because, goddamnit, I just- I was a terrible fucking person, okay? The things I did, they were-” 

“What? Fucked up? Painful? Shitty? Of course they fucking were, Javi. You were literally in Colombia chasing down Pablo Fucking Escobar. What did you think I thought you were doing down there? Filing away paperwork? You don’t think I know that you did things you regret? That you’ve hurt people? Made choices that hurt innocent people who didn’t deserve it? I know Javi, I fucking know. I watched my brothers come back from the same goddamn thing. I tried so hard to give them space, to let them come to terms with the fucked up things they did on their own, and you know what fucking happened? One of them’s fucking dead because of it. I can’t let it happen again. I don’t care about what you did. It doesn’t make you a bad person. But you can’t try and hide it from me and pretend like it doesn’t exist. I wanna spend the rest of my life with you. But I can’t if you don’t trust me. Please trust me. Please. I love you so much, Javi. I can’t lose you.” 

Javi stood in silence, as the both of you fought the tears streaming down your cheeks. He wasn’t sure if he had just been hit in the gut with a giant sucker punch, or if the weight of the world had just been lifted off his shoulders. He truly didn’t know how to feel. He wasn’t even sure if he had heard you correctly. Did you really just tell him that you knew about the fucked up, terrible things he had done and that you didn’t care? That you still fucking loved him? All you wanted was for him to trust that you wanted to be there for him? He could feel his hands trembling and lip quivering as he tried to find the words to speak.

 “Osita… I- fuck, baby. Osita, I’m so sorry. I trust you with my fucking life. You- You don’t deserve to have to deal with with all the fucked up things I’ve done. I don’t wanna scare you away, baby. You’re the best thing that’s ever fucking happened to me and I was so terrified if you found out about the terrible person I used to be, you’d leave. It’s not fair to you, I can’t expect you to carry the weight of all the fucking things I’ve done, too. I’m so sorry.” Quietly, Javi sat down next to you on the empty swing, burying his hands in his face. Gently, you reached over, pulling his hands away, forcing him to look at you. 

“Whatever you tell me isn’t gonna scare me away. I promise. The only thing that’s gonna scare me is when you try to pretend you’re okay when you’re not. Javi… Javi, I just- I just wanna be there for you. I don’t want you to have to do it alone. I’d do anything for you. I trust you more than anyone. You’re my best friend. I just- fuck- I just want you to trust that I’ll always be there for you to. I promise.” 

And just like that, the last brick holding up the wall between you and Javier Peña collapsed. There was nothing left to run from. Nothing left to hide. After he returned home, he was a changed man. He had hated the person he had become. Maybe there was a part of him that didn’t want to be loved, because he didn’t believe that he deserved to be. But then, there was you. 

You. 

You had taken everything he had known and changed his life for the better. You had become his better half, the person he loved more than anyone in the world. You had proved he was worthy of more than just existing- you had proved to Javi that he was worth the love and happiness you had promised him from the moment you had come into his life and made it worth living for. 

“You promise?” 

“I promise. Always.” 

The way Javi grabbed you and wrapped you in his arms, grasping at the back of your shirt as he pulled you in tighter, feeling the hot breath of his silent sobs against your shoulder told you everything you needed to know. You didn’t know much, but if there was one thing you did know, it was that you loved Javier Peña more than life itself. As quickly as it had felt like your life had fallen apart, he had come into it and picked up the broken pieces to put it back together. And on an October night in San Antonio, sitting on an old wooden swing set in the Murphy’s backyard, you hoped that Javi knew that you would always be there to pick up the shattered parts of his past, too. 

You weren’t sure how many hours had passed as you sat hand in hand in the swings with Javi as you listened to anything and everything he had to say. Long after the backyard was empty, and the bonfire had faded to embers and ashes, and the only one left awake besides the two of you was Connie, trying to drag Steve back inside from the plastic lawn chair he had passed out on, you finally made your way up to bed for the best sleep the two of you had in a very, very long time. Your goodbyes to the Murphy’s had been short and sweet- Connie exhausted from the late night, and Steve barley coherent from how hungover he was, you were still both so thankful the two of you had made the journey out to see them, and the both of you, just as grateful for the sweet and supportive life long friends you knew the Murphy’s would become. Most of your drive back to Laredo was spent in a comfortable silence, the golden sunrise spilling through the windows of Javi’s truck as you cruised down the highway, Javi’s hand never leaving yours, your fingers intertwined together as his thumb gently rubbed against your soft skin and your head rested against his broad shoulder. 

“How are you feeling about seeing your mom today?” You asked, lightly squeezing his arm as you smiled up at him, now exiting off the freeway quickly approaching the cemetery where you planned to meet Chucho to celebrate Día De Los Muertos, trying your best to comfort Javi as he prepared to see his mom’s gravesite for the first time since her funeral almost a decade ago. Javi let out a quiet sigh, his grip tightening just a little tighter around your hand as he looked over at you, a surprisingly calm look flooding his face. 

“I’m actually doing okay. Better than I would have thought. I think I was always so worried that she wouldn’t be proud of me and the man I’d become after she was gone. I um- I finally think that she’d be proud of me now.” He glanced over at you, his smile soft and tender as he soaked in the reason for his pride sitting right beside him. 

You noticed Chucho’s truck as you pulled up to park along the edge of the small cemetery, Chucho excitedly waving you down as you both hopped out of the car. Walking around to Javi, you were quick to grab his hand, giving him a reassuring grip as the two of you made your way through the gravestones along the thin cobblestone path towards Chucho, already arranging the items he had collected for Lucia’s ofrenda. 

“Hola, niños.” Chucho grinned, wrapping his arms around the both of you. “I’m so glad you’re here.” 

“Thanks for letting me be a part of today, Chucho. I know… Well, I just- I’m really honored to- just, thank you.” Chucho wasted no time pulling you into your own hug, his rough and worn hands holding you by the shoulders as he looked at you with misty eyes. 

“Mija, I should be thanking you. If it wasn’t for you, I don’t know if we would all be here today. Lucia’s last wish to me was that I would promise to make sure Javier was happy. Now hija, I think my sweet Lucia can rest a little easier knowing someone else has already fulfilled my promise for me.” As the two of you spoke, you hadn’t noticed as Javi had quietly stepped over to his mother’s gravestone, crouching next to it, his fingers delicately tracing along the engraved letters of her name, his other hand holding one of the marigold flowers Chucho had brought with him. The two of you watched quietly as Javi sat next to his mom, gently placing the flower on the shiny stone as he spoke. 

“Hola, mamá. Te extrañé. Siento haber tarado tanto.” (Hi mom. I missed you. I’m sorry I took so long). Javi’s voice trembled as he took a deep breath in, slowly exhaling as his hand rested on the stone, warm from the sun, shining brightly in the blue November sky. “Que estaba asustada de de verte porque estaba orgullosala de la persona en la que me había convertido. Que no quería decepcionarte. Tenía miedo mucho, mamá. Me sentí como si todo se derrumbase. solo quería olvidar. Pero entonces…” (I was scared to see you because I wasn’t proud of the person I’d become. I didn’t want to disappoint you. I was so scared, mom. I felt like I let everyone down. I just wanted to forget. But then…).  Javi turned his head, seeing you and Chucho, arm in arm, a smile growing across his face as looked back at the two people in life he loved the most. He took an extra moment to stare at you and the soft grin spread between your cheeks, basking in the comfort and warmth of the woman who had forever changed his life for the better. “Pero entonces, mamá, La conocí. Que es perfecta. Nunca supe que podías amar tanto a alguien. Ella es lo mejor que me ha pasado. La habrías amado.ella es una maestra, tambien.  A veces me pregunto qué ve en mí. No sé qué hice para merecerse. voy a pedirle que se case conmigo.Cuidaré bien de ella. Ella se merece todo lo que le pueda dar y más. Espero que estés orgulloso de mí, mamá. te echo mucho, Pero le juro a usted, al fin soy feliz. Te amo, mamá.”  (But then, mom, I met her. She is perfect. I never knew you could love someone so much. She is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. You would have loved her. She’s a teacher too. Sometimes, I wonder what she sees in me. I don’t know what I did to deserve her. I’m gonna ask her to marry me. I’m gonna take such good care of her. She deserves everything I can give her and more. I hope you’re proud of me, mamá. I miss you so much, but I promise you, I’m finally happy. I love you, mom.) 

With a gentle nudge from Chucho, you softly stepped behind Javi, gently placing your hands on his shoulders before he rose up and you wrapped your arms around his waist, resting your head against his chest as he wiped away the tears welling behind his eyes. Staring down at Lucia’s gravestone, Javi ran his hand through your hair, carefully planting a kiss against your head and burying his nose in the soft waves of your hair. 

“I wish I would have had the chance to have met you, Mrs. Peña. I would have had someone else to commensurate with over all of the crazy teaching stories I’m sure the both of us have. Maria, Estelle and Linda all miss you a lot too, but I’m sure they haven’t changed a bit. Thanks for raising such a good son. I don’t know what I would do without him. I know he says that he doesn’t know what he did to deserve me, but I really think it should be the other way around. I promise I’ll look out for him.” You tried your best to smile through your soft sobs, looking up at Javi, tears streaming down his wet cheeks. It wasn’t long before Chucho had snuck up behind you, patting each of you on the back before smiling down at Lucia, too. 

“Estos dos están tan enamorados, Lucia. Tal vez más que tú y yo. Ella es una buena chica. Estoy muy contenta de que ella sea parte de nuestra familia. Finalmente tendremos a nuestros nietos, también.”  (These two are so in love, Lucia. Maybe even more than you and I. She is a great girl. I am so happy she is a part of our family. We are finally going to get our grandchildren, too). Chucho winked, nudging Javi in the side, forcing him to laugh through his tears, shaking his head at his dad’s comment. “Now, no more tears, you two. This is a happy day. Your mamá is smiling down on you, and I can almost hear here scolding me to keep you from crying anymore. C’mon, let’s decorate and eat, I even brought pozole.” 

The three of you spent the next hour decorating Lucia’s grave with bright orange and gold cempazuchitl (marigold flowers) and little Calaveras (sugar skulls) painted in bold colors and refined details, sharing and laughing about Javi’s favorite memories of his mother while snacking on the Pozole Chucho had brought to share. For the first time in a long time, Javi no longer felt guilt and grief when he thought about his mom- her memory filled him with love and joy. He wasn’t the same bitter, broken man he was when he had said his final goodbyes to his mother all those years ago. While he wished he could change the past, the reality of the present, and his future finally brought him peace, knowing he could be proud of the man he had become, thanks to you. 

As Javi helped Chucho to clean up the extra flowers and decorations he had brought, you couldn’t help yourself from reaching at the wrinkled photo you had shoved in your pocket as you had packed up to leave from the Murphy’s this morning. You carefully took it out, holding it gently in your hands as you tried to uncrinkle the edges. “You ready, Hermosa?” Javi called out, now a few steps ahead of you, making his way back towards the truck. “Hermosa?” He asked again, thinking perhaps you hadn’t heard him the first time. When he was greeted by silence again, he looked back to see you staring at the crumpled photo in your hands. 

“I um- I know that he isn’t buried here, and uh, if you don’t want me to, it’s okay- but um- is it, is it alright if I leave a couple flowers for Patrick?” You sniffed, a tear dropping down on the photo of the two of you, Patrick holding you in a headlock as you laughed with a wide, toothy grin, drowning in one of his old Blackhawks jerseys that you were so excited to wear because it belonged to him. 

“Of course, Osita. Of course it is.” Javi smiled at you softly, turning back around with the tub of leftover decorations, making his way towards you. Quietly, you walked back over to Lucia’s gravestone, carefully setting down the picture of you and Patrick next to it, putting a few marigolds over top of it so it stayed pinned in place from the warm breeze. 

“I miss you, asshole. You deserved so much better. I hope you don’t still think that I hate you. I mean, I do, but you know what I mean. Honestly, you were lucky you didn’t have to live through the Blackhawks losing in the playoffs this year, that fucking sucked. Mom and Dad and Charlie and David all miss you too. I finally went back home to see them. It still wasn’t the same without you there, but I know you don’t hurt anymore. I hope that you don’t hurt anymore. I love you, Patrick. Crack open a cold one up there for me, okay?” Trying your best to not to uncontrollably sob, you sniffled, wiping the tears running down your face as you leaned your head against Javi’s chest. He ran his hand along your back as he held you tighter, letting you take a moment to get everything out before you took a deep breath, nodding your head as if to signify to Javi and yourself that you were okay. 

“You okay, Osita? We can take all the time you need, baby.” Javi whispered, pressing a gentle kiss into your shoulder. 

“No, I’m okay. I just- I wanted to do something for him, too. Thanks, Javi. I love you.” 

“I know.” 

After several more long hugs goodbye with Chucho, you and Javi began your journey back home, marveling at the beautiful sunset, painting the sky with bright pinks and oranges and the warmth and comfort of Lucia and Patrick’s presence. You were so lost in thought staring out at the fading sky, you hadn’t even noticed that Javi had detoured from your usual route home until he had said something to you. “You okay if we make a quick pit stop on the way home, Osita?” You nodded, smiling at the golden glow covering his face. It wasn’t long until you were veering off the main road, Javi turning to make his way down a tree lined gravel pathway with a “For Sale” sign posted in front of it. 

“For sale?” You questioned, looking over at Javi before peering out your window to watch the trees lining the path pass by you as the gravel crunched under the truck’s tires.

“Yeah, uh- I was talking with Steve at the party yesterday and he- uh, one of his buddies said he was looking to get out of the city- wanted a plot of land to build on. Said he had heard good things about Laredo but didn’t have time to go check things out for himself, so I told him I would go take a look around and let Steve know what I thought.” Javi replied, trying his best to sound nonchalant as you shrugged before looking back out the window. As you reached the end of the path, the trees opened to reveal a beautiful, lush green field, the sun setting perfectly along the rolling hills of the horizon in front of you. Turning off the ignition, Javi gestured for the both of you to get out of the truck so you could go take a look around. 

“Jav… This is beautiful.” You marveld, grinning as you took in the beauty of the open space drenched in golden sunset. 

“You like it?” Javi grinned, laughing as you spun around, the gentle breeze blowing your hair in and out of your face. 

“Oh my God, yeah. Tell Steve’s friend to get on this place ASAP before I scrounge up every penny I have and sell one of my kidneys on the black market to buy it from him. There doesn’t even need to be a house, I’ll just lay in the empty field, perfectly content.” You giggled, letting out a happy sigh as you grabbed Javi’s hand, leaning your head against his arm as you admired the sun slipping away below the horizon. 

“I’ll take that as a yes then. He said he’s wanting to build a house here, do you think- do you think that he would think it’s got enough space? It’s not too far from everything? I know it’s a little farther from downtown and a longer drive to work- if uh, if he works by where we do, you don’t think that’d be a problem? For him?” Javi squeezed back, trying his best not to stumble over his words. 

“Are you kidding me? It’s literally perfect out here, Javi. Could you imagine getting to see this every night? He better put some big windows on this house so he can get all of the sunlight, oh my god, it would be so pretty. It’s not even that far from everything, and the view makes the extra drive time worth every minute. I know it’s probably a far way off, and we haven’t really talked about it, but I would love to live at a place like this someday.” 

Javi smiled to himself, looking down at you as you rested against him, soaking in every ounce of you as he shifted his arm to wrap around your waist, gently rubbing his thumb along the soft hem of your shirt before letting out a content sigh. 

“Yeah. Me too.”

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