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[logansargeantsbabymom]

None Of This Is Your Fault.

Brian "Otis" Zvonecek x Fem!Firefighter!Reader

A/N: Sorry that I've been so inactive, I know this is no excuse but I school started and my job is starting to get into it's busy season and to my luck I managed to tear my meniscus and I've been in so much pain so writing has been the least of my concerns. I am getting surgery on Thursday so I will be writing more soon. For now, please enjoy my new fic.

This is a 20 chapter story and I've put 10 chapters in one fic. It's a lot but this is my apology for being inactive.

Chapter 1:

Five years. That’s how long I’ve been with Brian. It feels like a lifetime and just a blink at the same time. We met in the most unconventional of ways—running into each other during a late-night call, both of us soaked in sweat, soot smeared across our faces, the smell of smoke thick in the air. It wasn’t the most romantic setting, but maybe that’s why it worked. There was no need for pretenses between us. We were both drawn to the fire, the adrenaline, the chaotic beauty of our work. And somehow, through the chaos, I found him.

Brian “Otis” Zvonecek—my partner in every sense of the word. He’s not the guy who sweeps you off your feet with grand gestures or sweet talk. No, Brian is the guy who shows up every single day. He’s steady. Kind. Funny in the way that only he can be, with those ridiculous puns and the way his face lights up when he thinks he’s landed a good one. It’s impossible not to laugh when he’s around, and God, that’s what I love most about him—he makes everything lighter, even when the world feels heavy.

But these days, the world is feeling a little heavier than usual.

We’ve both been working nonstop—Firehouse 51 is like a second home, though lately, it feels more like a first. There’s something comforting about the firehouse, the constant hum of activity, the sound of the trucks rumbling to life, the distant chatter of my crew—no, my family. And Brian? He’s always been at the center of it all. Our relationship bloomed in this place, surrounded by the people who understand what we go through every day.

I remember the early days with him so clearly. It started as a few casual glances across the engine bay, nothing serious at first. Just an awareness of him. His laugh was what caught me. The way he threw his head back, completely unguarded, while the rest of us were tense and wired after a tough call. He had this way of letting it all roll off his back, and I admired that.

It wasn’t long before we were partnered on every shift, making excuses to grab dinner after. One night, after a particularly tough rescue, he suggested we go for wings. I was exhausted, drained, and covered in soot, but something in his voice made me agree. I needed that—something normal, something grounding. We sat in that little corner booth, devouring spicy wings, laughing about the ridiculousness of our lives. It was simple, but it was the first time I felt like I had found something real. Something worth holding onto.

That’s how we’ve always been—just us, grounded in the simplicity of being together. No grand romantic gestures, no pressure to be anything other than who we are.

And for five years, it worked. I always felt secure with Brian. Sure, we’ve had our share of arguments—what couple doesn’t?—but they were always small, petty things. We’d bicker about who forgot to fill the gas tank or who left the towels on the floor, but those disagreements never lasted long. We were always able to laugh it off, make a joke, and move forward.

Lately, though, I’ve been different. Not us—me. I feel it deep inside, like there’s something pulling me away, pulling us apart. I don’t know why, but these past few months, things that shouldn’t bother me do. Things that used to make me laugh now irritate me. And sometimes, when the irritation boils over, I lose control in a way I never have before.

Brian doesn’t say it, but I can tell he’s worried. He’s always watching me now, his brown eyes searching for some sign that I’m still the same Y/N he fell in love with. But the truth is, I don’t feel like the same person anymore, and that scares me more than I care to admit. The outbursts come out of nowhere—sudden, violent flashes of anger—and then, just as quickly, they’re gone, like they never happened. And the worst part? I can’t remember them.

It’s terrifying.

It started small. A broken plate here, a slammed door there. I chalked it up to stress. Firefighting is a tough job, and we’re no strangers to pressure. But as the weeks turned into months, the episodes became harder to ignore. They were no longer just occasional moments of frustration—they were frequent, and sometimes, I wouldn’t even realize something was wrong until I saw the look in Brian’s eyes. That look of concern, like he didn’t know how to help me, like he was afraid to say the wrong thing. I hated that look. It made me feel like I was losing him, losing us.

But I kept telling myself it was fine. I was fine. If I just pushed through, if I worked harder, the episodes would stop. I thought if I ignored it, I could outrun it.

I was wrong.

Tonight, as I lie in bed next to Brian, listening to his soft breathing, I can’t shake the feeling that something big is coming. Something we won’t be able to ignore. I stare at the ceiling, the weight of it pressing down on me, my chest tightening. The love I have for him is overwhelming, and I don’t know how to protect it anymore.

Brian stirs beside me, his arm draping across my waist as he pulls me closer in his sleep. I close my eyes, taking in the warmth of his body, the familiar scent of him. He feels like home. But the fear of losing that—of losing him—is more than I can bear.

Tomorrow is another shift. Another 48-hour stretch. I tell myself things will get better, that I just need to push through. But deep down, I know something has to give.

And I’m terrified that when it does, it’ll be too late to save what we’ve built.

Chapter 2:

The first time it happened, I barely noticed it. Looking back, that should have been my first clue. It was such a small thing—a flash of frustration that I thought was just stress from work. We were off-duty, Brian and I, sitting at the kitchen table after a long day. We’d been talking about the usual—our shifts, the next firehouse event, Cruz’s latest terrible joke. Brian had a way of making everything feel easy. Comfortable.

But that night, something was different.

I don’t even remember what set me off. One minute, we were laughing, and the next, I felt this surge of anger bubbling up inside me. It wasn’t anything Brian said or did, not really. It was more like a wave crashing over me, completely out of my control. I felt like I was drowning in it, and the next thing I knew, I was standing over the kitchen sink, my hands trembling as I stared at the shattered remains of a glass I didn’t even remember throwing.

Brian was standing a few feet away, his face pale, his eyes wide with shock.

“Y/N… what just happened?” His voice was quiet, careful.

I blinked, trying to piece together the moment, but it was like a fog had settled over my mind. “I—I don’t know.” My voice sounded distant, unfamiliar. “I didn’t mean to—”

“It’s okay,” he said quickly, stepping forward. He placed his hand gently on my arm, his touch grounding me. “It’s okay. It was just a glass.”

But it wasn’t just the glass, and we both knew it. Something had shifted inside me, something dark and uncontrollable. And the worst part was, I couldn’t explain it. I couldn’t tell Brian what was wrong because I didn’t know.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, my throat tight. “I don’t know what happened.”

Brian smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “It’s fine. We’re both tired. It was just a glass.”

I nodded, but as I swept up the broken shards, I couldn’t shake the feeling that something had broken inside me, too. And it wasn’t going to be as easy to put back together.

Chapter 3:

Weeks passed, and the tension in the air between Brian and me seemed to grow with each passing day. It wasn’t just at home anymore—my outbursts were starting to creep into our shifts at the firehouse. It wasn’t anything major at first, just little moments where I’d snap at someone or lose my temper more easily than usual. Everyone chalked it up to the stress of the job, and I let them. It was easier than admitting something was wrong.

But inside, I could feel it building—this pressure, like a balloon swelling inside my chest, ready to burst. I thought I could handle it. I thought if I kept myself busy, if I focused on the work, I could push it down. But firefighting isn’t a job where you can afford to lose control.

I remember one call in particular. It was a standard house fire, nothing we hadn’t seen a thousand times before. The flames were manageable, but there was a lot of smoke. We went in as a team, each of us with a role, moving in sync like we always did. Brian was with me, like he usually was, our movements so familiar we didn’t even need to talk to communicate.

But something was off that day. The smoke felt heavier than usual, the heat more oppressive. My helmet felt like it was pressing down on my skull, making my head throb. I tried to push through it, focusing on the task at hand, but my mind was racing. Every sound—the crackle of flames, the muffled voices over the radio, even my own breathing in the mask—felt like it was closing in on me.

“Y/N, you good?” Brian’s voice crackled through my radio.

“I’m fine,” I muttered, though my vision was starting to blur at the edges. We were almost done, just a few more minutes. I could make it. I had to.

But then, out of nowhere, the frustration hit me. I don’t know why—it wasn’t a particularly stressful call—but something inside me snapped. I felt a surge of anger, irrational and uncontrollable. I swung my axe harder than I needed to, cutting through debris with more force than was necessary. I heard Brian call my name again, concern clear in his voice, but I didn’t respond. I couldn’t. I was too focused on the pounding in my head, the rage bubbling just beneath the surface.

When we finally exited the building, I ripped off my helmet and tossed it to the ground, breathing heavily. My heart was racing, my hands trembling.

“What the hell, Y/N?” Brian was at my side, his voice sharp. “You could’ve hurt yourself in there.”

“I’m fine,” I snapped, my voice harsher than I intended. “It’s nothing.”

“It’s not nothing,” he said, his brow furrowing as he looked at me. “You’ve been off lately. This isn’t like you.”

I turned away, not wanting to hear the concern in his voice. I didn’t want to admit that he was right—that something was wrong with me. “I told you, I’m fine.”

But I wasn’t. I knew it, and Brian knew it, too.

Chapter 4:

The firehouse had always been a place of comfort for me. It was where I felt in control, where I knew I could make a difference. But lately, even that had started to feel like a burden. My outbursts were becoming more frequent, and I could see the strain it was putting on everyone—especially Brian.

At home, things were getting harder. Brian tried to be patient, but I could see the frustration in his eyes whenever I lost my temper. He’d always been the calm one, the one who could smooth things over with a joke or a smile. But even he couldn’t keep pretending that everything was fine.

We had one of our worst fights a few nights after that call. I don’t even remember what started it—something small, something stupid. But it spiraled out of control so fast. One minute, we were sitting on the couch, watching a movie, and the next, I was yelling at him, accusing him of things that didn’t even make sense.

“You don’t even care about me anymore!” I shouted, the words spilling out of my mouth before I could stop them. “You’re always at work, or with Cruz, or doing anything but being here with me!”

Brian looked at me like I’d just slapped him. “Y/N, what are you talking about? I’m always with you! We work together, we live together—how much closer can we get?”

“That’s not what I mean!” I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes, but I didn’t care. “You’re here, but you’re not really here. You don’t look at me the same way anymore. You don’t—”

“Stop,” he cut me off, his voice calm but firm. “That’s not true, and you know it. I love you. I’ve always loved you.”

His words should have soothed me. They should have made me feel safe. But instead, they only made the anger flare hotter. “Then why do I feel so alone?” I whispered, my voice breaking.

Brian’s face softened, and he took a step closer, reaching for my hand. “Y/N, I’m right here. You’re not alone. But something’s going on with you, and you won’t talk to me about it.”

I yanked my hand away, refusing to meet his eyes. “I’m fine,” I muttered for what felt like the hundredth time.

But I wasn’t. I wasn’t fine, and I was pushing him away without even meaning to. I could see it in his eyes—the worry, the frustration, the helplessness. He didn’t know how to fix this, and neither did I.

That night, we went to bed without saying another word. Brian turned his back to me, and I lay there, staring at the ceiling, feeling the weight of my own silence pressing down on me. I wanted to reach out to him, to tell him I was scared, that I didn’t know what was happening to me. But the words wouldn’t come.

All I could do was lie there and wonder how much longer we could keep pretending that everything was okay.

Chapter 5:

The firehouse was unusually quiet that night. It was the kind of quiet that crept into your bones, making you restless. We were on the second day of a 48-hour shift, and exhaustion hung in the air. Normally, a shift like this didn’t faze me—adrenaline and routine kept me going. But tonight, my head felt like it was being squeezed in a vice. The migraine was pounding behind my eyes, a dull, throbbing pain that no amount of coffee could fix.

I rubbed my temples, trying to will the headache away. Brian had noticed it earlier in the shift and offered me some Tylenol, but I turned him down. There was something about this headache that felt different, heavier. And I was already on edge—there was no way I wanted to dull my senses while on duty.

I kept my distance from the crew tonight, choosing to sit quietly at the kitchen table, nursing my coffee and staring blankly at the TV. Normally, I’d be laughing with the rest of them, especially Brian and Cruz, who were busy trading ridiculous jokes and stories. But I couldn’t focus on any of it. The migraine had lodged itself deep in my skull, making every sound feel like nails on a chalkboard.

I was counting down the hours. Only eight more hours of this shift. And then, finally, Brian and I could go home, grab food from the new Wingstop, and just unwind. It had been a long week, and I was craving something normal, something that would remind me of the simplicity of us. I clung to the thought of getting those wings together. It was the one thing keeping me grounded, the one thing I was looking forward to after the chaos of the last two days.

As if on cue, Brian wandered over to me, his smile easy as always, though I could see the concern lingering in his eyes.

“Hey,” he said softly, sitting down across from me. “How’s your head?”

I forced a small smile, though I knew it didn’t reach my eyes. “Still there, but it’ll pass. Just need to get through these last few hours.”

“We’re almost done,” Brian said, his hand reaching out to gently brush mine. “And then it’s Wingstop time, right? I’m starving.”

I nodded, feeling a small flicker of relief. “Yeah, can’t wait. Been thinking about it all day.”

Brian paused, his brow furrowing slightly. “Actually… about that. I just grabbed Wingstop with Cruz an hour ago. Didn’t realize you’d still want it tonight. You cool with grabbing something else?”

The words barely registered at first. They came out so casually, so matter-of-fact. But as they sank in, I felt a sharp, searing heat rise in my chest. My fingers tightened around the coffee mug in my hand as the rage swelled, unbidden and uncontrollable. I blinked, my vision blurring for a moment as my heart pounded in my ears.

“Wait, what?” I could hear the edge in my voice, sharp and venomous, even as I tried to keep it together. “You just had Wingstop? You knew we were supposed to get it together after shift.”

Brian’s eyes widened, taken aback by the sudden shift in my tone. “I didn’t think it’d be a big deal. We can still get it if you want. I’ll eat it with you, no problem.”

“No,” I snapped, the word flying out before I could stop it. “I don’t want it anymore.”

Brian frowned, confusion and concern mingling on his face. “Y/N, what’s going on? It’s just food. If you want Wingstop, we’ll get Wingstop. It’s not a big deal.”

But to me, it was a big deal. It felt like everything—the headache, the exhaustion, the tension between us—was boiling over, and this one tiny thing had pushed me over the edge. I could feel it happening, the anger building into something unstoppable, and I hated it. I hated that I couldn’t control it, couldn’t stop the words from tumbling out.

“You always do this!” I shouted, my voice breaking as the room seemed to close in around me. “You say one thing and then turn around and do whatever you want! Do you even care about what I want anymore? All I wanted was this shift to end so we could finally go home and have a normal night together. But no—of course you couldn’t even wait for me to get the food we talked about!”

“Y/N,” Brian said softly, reaching out to touch my arm, “I didn’t mean—”

“DON’T TOUCH ME!” I jerked away from him, my heart racing as the room fell silent. Everyone was staring now—Cruz, Mouch, Sylvie, Herrmann. Even Chief Boden, who had been standing by the door, was watching with furrowed brows.

I could feel my hands shaking, my vision blurring as tears welled up in my eyes. “All I wanted,” I choked out, my voice trembling, “was a little quality time with my boyfriend. But instead, I get stuck on this miserable shift with a migraine and a boyfriend who only cares about himself.”

The words hung in the air like poison, and as soon as they left my mouth, I felt something inside me shatter. My heart was pounding, my breath coming in ragged gasps, and before I knew it, tears were streaming down my face. I didn’t even recognize myself in that moment. This wasn’t me.

Brian stood there, frozen, his face pale with shock and hurt. “Y/N, I…”

But before he could say anything else, it was like a switch had flipped. The anger drained out of me as quickly as it had come, leaving me feeling hollow and confused. I blinked, wiping my tear-streaked face as I straightened my posture, suddenly aware of the silence in the room.

“Why… why am I crying?” I asked, my voice soft, bewildered. I looked around at everyone’s faces—confusion, concern, shock—all eyes on me. The pressure in my head eased slightly, the migraine fading as quickly as it had come.

Without another word, I turned and walked to the bathroom, the weight of everyone’s stares pressing down on me like a heavy fog.

Chapter 6:

I spent a long time in the bathroom, splashing cold water on my face and staring at my reflection in the mirror. My face was flushed, my eyes red from crying, but it wasn’t the physical exhaustion that scared me. It was the blank space in my mind, the way the anger had flared so hot and fast, only to disappear without a trace. I didn’t remember half of what I’d said, and what I did remember felt like it had come from someone else’s mouth, not mine.

I leaned against the sink, gripping the edge of the counter so hard my knuckles turned white. I didn’t know what was happening to me, but it was getting worse. And I was terrified.

When I finally stepped out of the bathroom, I saw Brian waiting for me by the door. His face was etched with worry, but his voice was calm and steady when he spoke. “Chief wants to see us in his office.”

My stomach dropped. I nodded silently and followed him down the hall, my footsteps heavy, my heart pounding in my chest. Chief Boden rarely called anyone into his office unless it was serious. And this? This was definitely serious.

When we stepped into the office, Chief was sitting behind his desk, his expression unreadable. He gestured for us to sit, and the tension in the room was thick as we did. Brian sat next to me, close but not touching, his hands resting tensely in his lap.

“Y/N,” Chief Boden began, his deep voice gentle but firm. “Brian explained what’s been going on with you lately. I need you to listen carefully to what I’m about to say.”

I nodded, my throat tight.

“I’ve seen my share of stress in this job. I’ve seen how it can affect people—physically, mentally, emotionally. But what happened out there today wasn’t normal, and it wasn’t safe. For you or for anyone else. You’ve been one of the best firefighters on this team, but I can’t have you putting yourself or others at risk.”

I swallowed hard, the weight of his words settling over me like a cold blanket.

“I’m not asking,” Chief continued, his eyes locking onto mine. “I’m ordering you to go to Chicago Med. You’re not coming back on shift until the doctors clear you.”

His words hit me like a punch to the gut. “Chief, I—”

“This isn’t up for discussion,” he said, his voice softening but still firm. “You need to get checked out. Something’s going on, and you can’t ignore it anymore.”

I felt Brian’s hand brush against mine, a silent show of support, but I couldn’t look at him. I couldn’t face the disappointment in his eyes. All I could do was nod again, feeling a wave of helplessness crash over me.

“Take the rest of the day,” Chief said. “Go to Med. We’ll be here for whatever you need, but you’re not coming back until you get answers.”

Brian stood up, helping me to my feet as we left the office in silence. I could barely process what had just happened—how quickly everything had spiraled out of control. As we walked out of the firehouse and towards the car

Chapter 7:

The ride to Chicago Med was eerily quiet. Brian drove, his hands gripping the steering wheel a little too tight, his gaze focused on the road. I sat in the passenger seat, staring out the window, my mind a blur of confusion, guilt, and fear. Every bump in the road sent a fresh wave of pain through my skull, but it wasn’t just the migraine anymore—it was the uncertainty gnawing at my insides. Something was wrong with me. Deep down, I knew that now. But the thought of facing it, of having a doctor tell me what was happening… I wasn’t sure I was ready for that.

Brian didn’t say much during the drive, and I was grateful for that. I wasn’t sure what I would have said if he’d asked me how I was feeling. How was I supposed to explain the emptiness inside me, the way I felt like a stranger in my own body?

As we pulled into the parking lot of Chicago Med, Brian finally spoke, his voice soft but steady. “I’m coming in with you.”

I nodded, unable to find the words to argue. I didn’t want to do this alone. I didn’t want to walk into that hospital and face whatever it was that had been slowly unraveling me. And as much as I hated feeling vulnerable, I needed him with me.

The bright lights of the hospital stung my eyes as we walked through the automatic doors, the sterile smell of antiseptic hitting me like a wall. Brian led the way, his hand resting on the small of my back, guiding me through the bustling halls. We didn’t have to wait long before we were ushered into an exam room by a nurse, who took my vitals and asked the standard questions.

Then, there was more waiting.

I sat on the exam table, swinging my legs back and forth, my hands folded tightly in my lap. Brian stood next to me, close enough that our arms brushed every now and then, but he didn’t speak. He didn’t need to. His presence was enough—steady, calming, even though I knew he was as scared as I was.

After what felt like an eternity, the door swung open, and Dr. Will Halstead walked in. I knew him well—he’d treated me a few times before, and he was a friend of ours outside of work. But today, he didn’t greet me with the usual smile or lighthearted joke. His expression was serious, concerned.

“Hey, Y/N,” he said, glancing between me and Brian as he took a seat on the stool across from us. “I hear you’ve been having some… unusual symptoms.”

I nodded, my throat tight. “Yeah. I guess you could say that.”

Will frowned, his brow furrowing as he flipped through my chart. “Brian filled me in on what’s been going on. The headaches, the mood swings, the memory loss… we’re going to run a few tests to get a clearer picture. I know it’s scary, but we need to figure out what’s causing all of this.”

I swallowed hard, my heart pounding in my chest. “Do you have any idea what it could be?”

Will hesitated, and that hesitation sent a chill down my spine. “There are a few possibilities,” he said carefully, “but I don’t want to jump to conclusions until we have more information. We’re going to start with a CT scan to get a look at what’s going on inside your brain.”

Inside my brain.

The words echoed in my head, sending a fresh wave of panic through me. I glanced at Brian, who was watching me closely, his expression unreadable. He reached out, taking my hand in his, and I squeezed it tightly, my pulse racing beneath my skin.

“Okay,” I whispered, my voice barely audible. “Let’s do it.”

Chapter 8:

The waiting was the worst part.

After the CT scan, they sent me back to the exam room to wait while the results were processed. Every second that ticked by felt like an hour. I sat there, nervously tapping my foot on the floor, while Brian paced back and forth in front of me. His anxiety was palpable, and it mirrored the panic building in my chest. I didn’t know what was worse—the not knowing, or the fear of what we were about to find out.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Will came back into the room, holding a manila folder in his hand. His expression was serious—too serious. My stomach twisted into knots as I watched him sit down again, the air between us heavy with tension.

“Y/N,” he began, his voice low, “I’m not going to sugarcoat this. The CT scan showed something concerning.”

I felt Brian’s hand tighten around mine, his grip almost painfully strong. I couldn’t breathe. My chest felt tight, my heart pounding in my ears. “What is it?” I managed to ask, my voice barely above a whisper.

Will took a deep breath, his eyes soft with sympathy. “You have a tumor in your brain. It’s located in the frontal lobe, which explains the mood swings and memory lapses you’ve been experiencing. It’s putting pressure on the surrounding areas, which is likely causing the migraines as well.”

A tumor. The word hit me like a freight train, knocking the air from my lungs. I stared at Will, uncomprehending, as if he’d just spoken a foreign language.

A tumor. In my brain.

I felt the world tilt beneath me, everything spinning out of control. My heart pounded in my chest, and I was suddenly aware of every sound, every breath, every sensation. Brian’s hand in mine, Will’s steady gaze, the sterile scent of the hospital—all of it felt too real, too overwhelming.

“I—I don’t understand,” I stammered, shaking my head. “A tumor? How…?”

Will nodded gently, leaning forward, his tone careful but honest. “It’s a lot to process, I know. But the good news is that we caught it early. It’s operable, which means we can remove it. We’re going to need to schedule surgery as soon as possible.”

Surgery. Tumor. The words swirled in my head, but none of them made sense. This wasn’t supposed to happen. I was healthy. I was a firefighter—I fought through flames, saved lives. I wasn’t supposed to be the one lying in a hospital bed, waiting for a doctor to cut into my skull.

I felt my hands start to tremble, and suddenly, the weight of everything came crashing down on me. The months of mood swings, the fights with Brian, the outbursts I couldn’t control—it all made sense now. There was a tumor inside me, something foreign and dangerous, controlling me from the inside out.

“Oh my God,” I whispered, my voice breaking as the tears started to fall. “Brian… I’m so sorry.”

Brian’s arms were around me in an instant, pulling me close as I sobbed into his chest. “No,” he murmured, his voice thick with emotion. “You don’t have anything to apologize for, Y/N. None of this is your fault.”

“But I—” I tried to speak, but the words were lost in the sobs that shook my body. All the anger, the fear, the guilt—I couldn’t hold it back anymore. “I’ve been awful to you. I didn’t know…”

Brian held me tighter, his hand running through my hair as he pressed his cheek to the top of my head. “It doesn’t matter,” he whispered. “None of it matters. We’re going to get through this. You’re going to be okay.”

I wanted to believe him, but all I could think about was the word that Will had said: tumor.

Chapter 9:

We left Chicago Med in a daze. The world outside felt too normal, too calm, compared to the storm raging inside me. The sky was still a brilliant blue, people walked down the street, completely oblivious to the fact that my life had just been turned upside down. Brian drove in silence, his hand resting on mine, squeezing gently every so often as if he was reminding himself I was still there. I couldn’t get the word out of my head—tumor.

It felt like some terrible nightmare, one that I hadn’t woken up from yet. Except this wasn’t a nightmare. This was real, and no amount of blinking or pinching myself would make it go away.

We pulled into the firehouse parking lot. I didn’t want to be here, didn’t want to face the crew and see their reactions when they found out. But we had to. They were my family—they deserved to know.

As soon as we stepped inside, I could feel the weight of everyone’s stares. They knew something was wrong. Cruz and Mouch were sitting on the couch, glancing at us with concern. Herrmann, sitting at the table, stood up as soon as he saw us, his brow furrowed.

“Everything okay?” he asked, his voice cautious.

I looked at Brian, but the words got stuck in my throat. How was I supposed to tell them? How was I supposed to explain that everything I’d been through over the past few months wasn’t just stress or exhaustion, but something far more terrifying?

Brian took a deep breath, his voice low and steady. “We went to Chicago Med. Will Halstead ran some tests on Y/N.” He paused, his grip on my hand tightening. “They found a tumor. In her brain.”

The room went silent.

It was like the air had been sucked out of the firehouse. I could see the shock ripple across their faces, the confusion, the fear. Cruz’s mouth opened as if to say something, but no words came out. Boden stepped forward, his eyes filled with quiet understanding.

“A tumor?” Herrmann repeated, his voice barely above a whisper. “What does that mean? Is it… is it serious?”

I took a shaky breath, trying to keep the tears at bay. “It’s operable,” I said, the words sounding distant, as if someone else were speaking them. “They’re scheduling the surgery soon. I’ll… I’ll be okay. That’s what Will said.”

But as I said it, I wasn’t sure if I believed it. The fear gnawed at my insides, making it hard to breathe, hard to think. How could I be sure everything would be okay when nothing felt okay right now?

There was a long, heavy pause before Boden spoke. “We’re going to be here for you, Y/N,” he said softly, his voice steady and full of quiet authority. “Whatever you need—whether it’s before, during, or after the surgery—you’re not going through this alone.”

The words should have brought me comfort, but instead, they only made the knot in my chest tighten. I didn’t want to be the one who needed help. I didn’t want to be the one who was weak, who was sick. I was a firefighter. I was supposed to be strong, to take care of others. Not the other way around.

But now, everything had changed.

I couldn’t hold it back any longer. The sobs broke through, my chest heaving as I tried to breathe, to speak. “I’m sorry,” I choked out, my voice breaking. “I’m so sorry.”

Boden stepped closer, his hand resting gently on my shoulder. “You have nothing to be sorry for,” he said softly.

But I did. I was sorry for everything—for the outbursts, for the way I’d lashed out at Brian, for the times I’d scared the crew with my unpredictability. I felt like I was falling apart, unraveling at the seams, and I couldn’t stop it.

Brian pulled me into his arms, holding me tightly as the tears streamed down my face. I felt everyone’s eyes on us, but it didn’t matter. I couldn’t hold anything back anymore. I cried for everything—the fear, the uncertainty, the guilt.

“I don’t know how to do this,” I whispered into Brian’s chest, my voice trembling. “I don’t know how to be this person. I don’t know how to… how to be weak.”

Brian’s voice cracked as he held me even closer. “You’re not weak,” he whispered fiercely. “You’ve never been weak, Y/N. You’re the strongest person I know. And you don’t have to go through this alone. We’re all here for you—for whatever you need.”

I shook my head, pulling back just enough to look up at him, my eyes red and swollen. “But I’ve been so awful to you. I pushed you away. I didn’t know what was wrong with me, but I—”

“Stop,” he cut me off, his voice thick with emotion. “None of that matters now. None of it. You were scared, and you didn’t know why. But we know now. And we’re going to fix it. Together.”

I wanted to believe him. I wanted so badly to believe that everything would be okay. But the fear was still there, lurking in the background, whispering that things might never be the same again.

The crew stepped forward one by one, each offering words of support, hugs, and quiet reassurances. It was overwhelming—feeling so much love and care when all I felt inside was fear. I wanted to tell them how much it meant to me, how grateful I was, but the words got stuck in my throat.

Finally, Boden spoke again, his voice gentle but firm. “You need to rest, Y/N. Go home, get some sleep, and prepare for the surgery. We’ll be with you every step of the way.”

I nodded, though I wasn’t sure I’d be able to sleep with everything swirling inside me. But I appreciated the sentiment. I appreciated all of them.

Brian took my hand, and we started to leave. As we walked out of the firehouse, I looked back at the crew—my family—standing there, watching us with worried eyes. They believed in me. They believed I could get through this.

I just wished I could believe it too.

Chapter 10:

The night before the surgery was the longest night of my life.

Brian and I went back to our apartment, and for the first time in what felt like forever, the silence between us wasn’t filled with tension or misunderstanding. It was just… heavy. There was nothing more to say, nothing more to do but wait. I could see the worry etched into Brian’s face every time I caught him glancing at me. He tried to hide it, but I knew him too well.

We made dinner, but I could barely eat. The thought of surgery, of having someone cut into my brain, was too much to bear. I pushed the food around on my plate, my stomach churning with anxiety.

Brian eventually took my hand, pulling me into the living room. We sat on the couch, and I rested my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes as he gently stroked my hair. His touch was soothing, grounding me when my mind started to spiral.

“I’m scared,” I admitted quietly, my voice barely above a whisper.

“I know,” Brian whispered back, his voice soft and full of love. “I’m scared too. But you’re going to get through this. We’re going to get through this.”

I wanted to believe him. I wanted to hold onto his words like a lifeline. But the fear, the uncertainty—it was all-consuming. I couldn’t shake the thought that something could go wrong, that I might not wake up after the surgery, that everything could change in a matter of hours.

“What if…” I started, my voice trembling. “What if something happens? What if I’m not the same after?”

Brian’s hand stilled in my hair, and he pulled back just enough to look at me. His eyes were filled with so much love, so much emotion, that it took my breath away.

“No matter what happens,” he said softly, “I’m here. I love you, Y/N. Nothing’s going to change that.”

The tears welled up again, and I blinked them away, trying to stay strong. But Brian’s words broke something inside me, and before I knew it, I was sobbing, my whole body shaking as I clung to him.

“I don’t want to lose myself,” I cried. “I don’t want to lose you.”

“You won’t,” Brian whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “You won’t lose me. You’re not going anywhere, Y/N. You’re stronger than this. We’ll face whatever comes next together.”

I buried my face in his chest, feeling the warmth of his arms around me, and for the first time that night, I allowed myself to believe him.

[deanstead]

she's alright, i guess

Pairing: Stellaride x SeverideDaughter!Reader

Requested: yes, by anon

Summary: Y/N hasn’t been very welcoming towards having Stella in their lives, but when she’s faced with a situation, Stella proves to Y/N that she’s in her corner.

Word Count: 2.2K+

Tags/Warnings: Dad!Kelly, mentions of attempted assault, single parent, victim shaming

A/N: This is a different kind of request/fic from what I've written for OC so far but I was pretty intrigued by it so I decided to give it a go. Not opening requests for daughter fics at the moment still because I’m not sure how this turned out yet so let me know what you guys think!

STELLARIDE MASTERLIST

You looked up from where you’d been playing with the food on your plate, only to catch Stella smile at your father who was sitting next to you.

Resisting the urge to make a face, you turned to look at him. “Can I be excused?”

Kelly gave a small sigh and turned to look at you, looking like he wanted to say something and then deciding against it, merely nodding. “Yeah, go on.”

You gave his girlfriend a last withering look before you took your plate back into the kitchen.

Kelly suppressed an audible sigh before he looked back at Stella. “Sorry.”

Stella smiled and shook her head. “She just needs some time.”

You rolled your eyes and headed back to your room, plopping yourself down on your bed and staring up at your ceiling.

It wasn’t really that you didn’t like Stella. Hell, you’d been okay with her before you found out she was dating your father.

As far as daughters went, you were sure that you were at least three times more protective over your father than your classmates were about their own parents.

Maybe it had something to do with the fact that you only ever had Kelly growing up. You’d overheard countless discussions about people telling him that it was hard being a single parent especially with his job but whatever anyone said, and however Kelly had felt from the first time he’d found out he’d had a daughter and come to get you, Kelly had stuck it out with you.

Over the years, especially once you were older, you’d seen many girlfriends come and go - some didn’t want commitment, some ran the moment they found out about you, some just… didn’t make it. It didn’t matter that Kelly had seemed fine with everything. You were not, so all that had done was make you even more protective over him.

So when you’d found out about Stella, you’d felt your hackles raise.

Logically, you knew Stella had done nothing to deserve this but your 15 year old brain couldn’t seem to override the emotion with logic.

You lay there for a while more until there was a knock on your door and Kelly poked his head in.

“Hey kiddo. Can we talk?”

You sat up but didn’t give him an answer because you knew very well what he wanted to talk about and you weren’t sure you wanted to hear it.

Kelly came in anyway, pulling out the chair at your desk and sitting across from you.

“Will you give Stella a break?”

You looked up with a look of protest and Kelly held up a hand.

“I know.” Kelly said in a low voice, giving you a small smile to show you he wasn’t mad. “Just lighten up a little and give her a chance. That’s all I’m asking.”

You didn’t say anything but Kelly let out a chuckle as you pursed your lips. “Go easy.”

He pressed a kiss to the top of your head before patting your hair affectionately and leaving the room.

You pulled your jacket tighter around you, glancing behind you.

You hadn’t meant to let it get so late but you’d gotten a little too immersed in your notes and lost track of time. Other than the wind blowing against your back and making you shiver, you hadn’t realized how quiet the road from your friend’s house was.

You kind of regretted not calling Kelly to come and get you, but you also didn’t relish the idea of waiting here so you’d forged on, telling yourself you’d walked this street thousands of times.

But now, you were pretty sure someone was following you, hearing the echoing footsteps behind you.

Damn it.

Your hands that were jammed into your pockets closed around your phone but you were also worried things would escalate so you picked up your pace instead.

You heard the footsteps behind you match the increase in your speed and just as you thought you should break into a run, you were yanked backwards and unable to maintain your balance, you tumbled onto the concrete pavement, feeling the concrete scrape against your skin.

Your head snapped upwards, feeling your heart fall straight into your gut when you looked back into the face of the man that now towered over you.

It was a stranger, not a face you remembered seeing, but his lips ticked upwards in a smile that flipped your stomach over and your gut feeling as well as every nerve in your body was screaming at you to get up and run.

Flight.

You scrambled to your feet, slowly moving backwards as he now stepped towards you. His movements had slowed, like a predator that had just cornered his prey.

He took another step towards you and with well chosen timing, you brought your knee up swiftly, just like how Kelly had taught you.

Winded, the man bent over but not before letting out a growl.

You didn’t stick around long enough to find out what he had to say, your legs already moving before your brain realized you were running.

The wind blowing against you was painful but you didn’t dare stop because you weren’t sure if he was on your heels.

You turned the corner, sparing a glance back and collided straight into someone.

“Sorry.” You panted, glancing up.

“Y/N?” Stella looked surprised to see you before her expression switched to one of concern. “What’s wrong?”

Stella glanced up at the empty street behind you and then looked back at you. “You okay?”

You really didn’t have the energy for anything else. You just really needed an adult. You glanced up at her without talking and Stella reached for your hand.

When you didn’t pull away, Stella squeezed. “Do you want me to take you home?”

You shook your head quickly. “No. Wait. I just… I don’t want Dad to see me like this.”

Stella studied you for just a second more before she nodded. “My apartment’s just around the corner. Why don’t you come and have something at my place and we can talk? If you want to.”

You hesitated for just a second but you were still kind of spooked so you nodded, letting her lead you back down from where she came from, not even realizing your hand was still in hers.

Stella wasn’t exaggerating when she said her apartment was around the corner.

Within five minutes, you were seated on Stella’s couch, a cup of hot tea in your hands while you found yourself telling her what happened.

It was weird - you’d expected Stella to maybe pat your shoulders a little to reassure you that things would be fine before trying to convince you to call Kelly so he could come and get you. She wouldn't be the first girlfriend to hand you back over to your father as soon as she could.

But the emotions on Stella’s face as you told her were new to you - looks of concern, before outrage and then… if you didn’t know any better, you’d think she was upset.

You fell quiet after a while and Stella scooted a little closer to you.

“Alright, Y/N, listen.” Stella said and you looked up at her. “We have to report this.”

You looked back down again, your index fingers twirling together even though you were still holding the mug.

“I’ll come with you.” Stella paused. “If you’ll let me.”

You looked up again and nodded quietly. "You… You’d do that?”

You registered a look of surprise on Stella’s face before she next spoke. “Of course, Y/N.”

“Can we not call my dad yet?”

There was a small silence and you held back a sigh. You knew what would happen if your father found out about this. Other than the fact that you hated making him worry and that you knew things might get blown up out of proportion with practically everyone getting involved, it was kind of awkward talking to him about some stuff.

Stella glanced at you. “How about we take things one step at a time?”

You bit your lip and Stella nodded encouragingly at you. “Let’s go to the district and then when you’re ready, we can call Kelly alright?”

You nodded quietly, taking another sip of tea before Stella smiled. “Ready?”

You got up and Stella grabbed an extra coat off her coat hanger, draping it around your shoulders.

Stella had been told to wait outside while you gave your statement to the uniformed police officer sitting across from you but you were regretting this with each question the officer asked you.

“What were you doing out so late?”

“Is this what you normally wear to school?

You were done with the insinuations in his voice and tone. You were 15, not an idiot. You knew exactly where this was going and you’d been around your father’s friends long enough to pick some stuff up.

You stood all of a sudden, the nails digging into your palms in an effort not to let the angry tears out. “I’m not answering any more questions.”

“What do you…”

You didn’t let him finish his sentence, opening the door and stalking out.

As promised, Stella was right outside, glancing up as you walked out, reading the expression on your face instantly.

“You okay?”

You pulled Stella’s jacket tighter around yourself. “I just want to go home.”

Stella frowned, glancing up at the officer that was now outside the room as well. “You still have to answer a few questions. You can’t just…”

You didn’t move and Stella looked back down at you. “Y/N?”

“He hasn’t asked me a single question about what happened.” You said in a low voice, focusing only on Stella now. “No questions about how the man looked, what street this took place on, how he sounded.”

Stella frowned. Those were enough for her to put together a few pieces of the puzzle.

“Those are necessary questions. We need to know if…”

“Kidd. Y/N.”

You glanced up at a familiar face and Stella patted your back. “Told you I got you.” She whispered in a low voice so only you could hear.

Stella nodded with a smile at Hailey.

Telling the officer she’d take over, Hailey led you back into the room and smiled encouragingly at you.

“Stella called me. Will you tell me what happened?”

It was easier than you’d expected to talk to Hailey but even as you told her what happen, you found yourself internally steeling yourself for a lecture of some sort and you suddenly just really wished Kelly was here.

But Hailey offered no lecture or talking-to. Instead, she treated you like an adult, taking down the information you offered, her questions only revolving around important information she obviously needed, before she closed the book.

“Thank you, Y/N. Here.” Hailey handed you a small bottle and a small device. “Pepper spray and a small panic button.”

You looked up a little surprised and Hailey smiled. “If nothing, maybe it’ll help you feel safer.”

You nodded, keeping the things she handed you and Hailey came around and squeezed your shoulder before taking you out of the room again where Stella was waiting.

“Dad must be worried, I…”

Stella shook her head with a smile. “I told him you’re with me so he wouldn’t. I can call him if you’re ready.”

You felt involuntary tears well up in your eyes before you nodded. "Can you? I... I think I really need him."

Kelly was here in record time, running up the steps of the district as if he’d been waiting nearby in the first place but you didn’t care. The rush of relief and safety when you saw him made you wonder why you hadn’t gone to him immediately anyway.

“Y/N!”

You didn’t say anything, merely shooting off your seat to dive into your father’s arms like you were a child once again.

“You okay? Let me see.” Kelly pulled away just a little to look at you but other than remnants of the startled look in your eyes and new tears ready to spill over, you weren’t really hurt.

Kelly gently pulled you back into his arms and exhaled. “Thank god.”

He was never one for long verbal communications of how much he loved you but you didn’t really need him to tell you. This was even more apparent now as you were huddled in your father’s arms in the middle of a police district.

“You must be starving.” Kelly said after a while, looking down at you to wipe a stray tear off your face. “Why don’t we go get something to eat, hmm?”

You gave a small crooked smile and Kelly looked up, meeting Stella’s eyes.

“I’ll call you tomorrow.” Kelly said with a small apologetic smile at Stella. “Thank you.”

Stella nodded, but you interrupted them. “You’re not coming to eat with us?”

Kelly raised his eyebrows.

“Thought I’d give you two some private time.” Stella said, although she seemed to be weighing the look in your eyes now.

You shrugged. “You can come eat with us, too.”

Kelly glanced between his girlfriend and daughter. “Did something happen?”

You shrugged, lowering your voice. “She’s alright I guess.”

Kelly chuckled, swinging an arm around your shoulders as he led you out of the district. Stella fell into step on your other side and you smiled up at her. “Thank you.” You whispered, fully aware your father could hear you.

Stella smiled. “Thank you, too.”

Kelly just smiled at both his girls as the three of you walked down the empty streets. Together.

THANK YOU FOR READING!! PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THOUGHT OF THIS!!

If you want to support me, buy me a coffee!

[amsgrey]

Clutz

warnings: bad writing lol

synopsis: You wipe out while doing Girls on Fire, Kidd makes Kelly call your brother.

The first time you were introduced to Firehouse 51 was when Jay took you to a game and Kidd and Severiade were there. It was almost like Jay and Severiade were copies of each other, with the same sense of humour and attitude. Kidd had taken you under her wing, explaining what was happening at the game while Jay and Severiade cheered. When the game ended Stella encouraged you to drop by the Firehouse sometime to meet everyone else, seeming that everyone at Med and the district were all close.

You took Stella up on that, stopping by when they were on shift with baking. Normally you would take it to Jay or Will at work but they were both too busy today to stop and talk. When you wandered through the doors into the break room, immediately Stella jumped up to greet you.

In her Milwaukee accent, she declared, "This is Y/N Halstead! She's welcome here whenever." She said the last bit to you, grinning. She quickly went around the room rattling off the names of everyone.

You smiled, holding up your container, "I bought brownies."

Cruz got up from the table and mockingly raising his hands like he was thanking the lord, "You're a saint."

It became some kind of routine, often you would bake something a week, dropping it to the district and to the firehouse. They were always excited to see you; soon it became exactly how intelligence treated you. Like you had gotten a bunch of aunt and uncles overnight, who all cared about you.

Eventually, Stella convinced you to join Girls on Fire, roping Kylie into convincing you it was a fun program. Kylie told you about how Stella annoyed her until she committed to staying in Girls on Fire and now she was helping run it. When you joined, you loved it. It was nice to be around other girls who were like you and also be training in a fun way.

When Jay would pick you up after, he was always amused by how excited you were to tell him about what happened. Will was also impressed with the first aid they were teaching. He teased you about how he had tried to teach you and you didn't care, but now when it was someone else you were interested.

"That's because you suck at teaching," You replied.

Girls on fire was normally cancelled when it snowed, but today it had been on and off so Stella said she'd find something to do on the apparatus floor. Boden allowed Stella to park the squad and truck rigs on the driveway so you could use the floor. After a while of running around in turnout gear, you all started to complain about being overheated. Kylie had said something smart about getting used to the feeling if you wanted to actually fight a fire. Kidd had agreed, but opened one of the doors anyway so that there was some airflow.

There was a little snow here and there, but mostly clear. Jay had said that morning it was typical spring, somewhere in the middle of everything. The group was doing hose drills when your partner lost control of the spiralled hose. It slipped out of her hands and down the driveway. You all laughed and you went to grab it. Your partner had mixed up the couplings, meaning you could easily do a shoulder roll as you gathered up the hose. Kidd cheered on your technique, explaining what you were doing as you went. You held one arm around the hose and jogged back towards the group. As you headed back, you hit black ice. You felt yourself falling face first and threw your unoccupied arm out to stop your fall. When your palm hit the ground, your wrist buckled and you could almost feel the break.

You dropped the hose, immediately snatching your wrist to your chest and letting out a string of hushed curses.

Kidd came jogging over, "You good?"

You groaned, "Peachy," you gave her a thumbs up with your good hand.

Kidd chuckled, she offered you a hand up. You let her pull you up, groaning with the jolt in your wrist.

"Let me take a look," Kidd offered, she gently rolled up the sleeve on the turnout coak and looked at your wrist. It had swollen up to twice its size and turned bruised.

You screwed up your face, "Just my luck."

"I think you broke it," Kidd chuckled, amused by how irritated you looked. "Might have to get you to med,"

She walked you back towards the Firehouse, now more careful of the ground. When you got inside, Brett and Violet were waiting with Boden and Kelly. Boden gave permission for Violet and Brett to take you to Med, seeming it was easier than calling your brother. Violet and Kidd helped you out of the turnout gear then jumped into the back of the ambulance with you.

As you were pulling out onto the street, Kidd asked if you had your phone.

"Crap," you cursed, patting your pockets, "I left it in my bag at the station."

Violet laughed, "Worrying about breaking your phone but not your wrist?"

Kidd laughed, "I'll call kelly."

Jay answered his phone on the second ring, "Halstead."

"Hey Jay," Kelly spoke from the other end, "Kidd asked me to call you-"

"Is everything okay?" Jay interupted.

"Uh-" Kelly hesitated, the silence allowed Jay to hear the blearing of the dispatch bells through the phone, "Kidd, Sylvie and Violet took Y/N to Med- look, I gotta go, I'm sorry. Kidd will meet you at med." Kelly rushed through his words, hanging up so that he could respond to the call.

Jay slowly put down his phone, a frown. If you were hurt you would have called him, but why would Kidd be taking you to Med if you weren't hurt?

"Who was that?" Kevin asked as he walked past Jay's desk.

"Kelly Severiade," Jay responded, "He said Y/N's been taken to med."

"What?" Hailey quickly walked over, "Why?"

"He didn't say," Jay came to his senses, grabbing his keys and phone, "Just that Kidd was taking her to Med with Sylvie and Violet."

Voight caught the tail end of the conversation, urging the team to pack up so they could all go to Med for support. He could tell from the look on everyone's faces how they were all quietly worried.

Jay had to hold back the urge to flick on the lights and sirens. and speed across town to Med.

Will could hardly control his laugh when he watched you walk into Med, cradling your arm.

"Laugh it up, William," You scolded, letting him help you onto the bed in an exam room.

"I will," He chuckled, gesturing for you to give him your arm so he could look at it.

You pouted, "Can't I have a decent doctor?"

Will rolled his eyes dramatically.

"I doubt you'll find one here," Maggie said as she walked in, coming to stand at your good side with a hand on her hip, "What have you done to yourself?"

You grinned sheepishly, unable to find the words.

Kidd came to your rescue from the doorway, explaining how you managed to wipe out and land on your wrist. And then going on to explain how you left your phone in your bag so you couldn't call Will or Jay before.

"Let's get an X-ray for that wrist then," Will said, watching Maggie type it into her tablet, "It's probably broken so we'll put a call into ortho to get it casted."

Maggie nodded along, putting her tablet away and propping your wrist on a pillow and placing an ice pack over it.

"Ortho is backed up, it might be awhile before they get down here."

"You can use that time to think of what colour cast you want," Will said with a playful grin. He let you know that he would have to check on a few different patients but he would be back to see the X-rays and check on you later.

Kidd took a seat next to you, smiling and asking how you felt.

"Like an idiot," You replied, "You always warn us to be careful and I had to go breaking my arm."

Kidd laughed, "Hey, at least you got us out of the firehouse for a bit."

You smiled, watching Sylvie and Violet come over to the door after stocking up the ambo and making a hot coco trip.

Sylvie put a cup on the tray next to you, "Hot coco for you."

"Thanks," You replied, cradling it with your good hand.

Violet jokingly ruffled your hair, "Anything for our favourite patient."

You laughed, bidding your goodbyes after they said that they had to leave for the firehouse. Kidd asked you to keep her updated and even if you couldn't do girls on fire, you should still come along. You said you would, you could stand on the sidelines and cheer like her and Kylie.

You were left alone for a little while before Will finally returned with the X Ray tech.

Will showed you the Xray on the screen, "Well it's definitely broken."

"Oh thanks, doc," You scowled, "I couldn't tell."

Will laughed, taking a seat and leaning on the bed while you spoke with the Ortho resident. The resident offered you your pick of four colours and you had made Will choose because you couldn't. Will had immediately chosen Black and you scoffed, 'No way.'

You almost hit the roof when Jay came running into the room. He looked terrified and completely out of breath. He stood staring at you and Will for a moment, then the rest of Intelligence came barreling in after him.

"Hello," You said slowly, confused why they were all there.

"Kelly called," Jay said.

"I forgot my phone at the firehouse, Kidd didn't have your number," You said sheepishly.

Jay let out a sigh, "I thought you were seriously hurt."

Will was laughing quietly, "Why didn't you call me?"

Jay frowned, "I tried," He argued, "You didn't pick up."

Wills smile fell, "oh,"

You burst out laughing, "Wow, one job big brother."

Jay turned back to his team, telling them they could go seeming you clearly weren't about to die. He came around the bed and took a seat at the end.

He gestured to your arm which was now cast in bright yellow, "What happened?"

You waved your casted wrist around, "Broke my wrist."

Jay shook his head in disbelief, "How did you manage that?"

"I slipped on black ice," You shrugged.

Jay looked a little disappointed, "Of course you did."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

Will smiled, "He only means you aren't always the most sure footed."

You faked being offended, "Are you calling me a clutz?"

"Yes," Both your brothers replied.

Will and Jay laughed as you crossed your arms and sunk into the bed with a pout, "Thanks a lot."

[taliaaurora]

You Look Happier - Kelly Severide

Warning: none.

Summary: Being a member of Firehouse 51 meant you were also invited to Kelly's wedding. You didn't imagine seeing your ex-boyfriend walk out of the while with someone else would break you that bad.

Word Count: 558.

A/N: I'm sorry for being distant from Tumblr and not posting anything in the last couple of months. This last semester at uni was a living hell, I hope i can write more now that I have more free time. I hope you enjoy this, I ❤ u!

Want to join my tag list? You can request it here! 🦋

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“You look happier.” You confessed, walking up to Kelly before taking a seat next to him at the bar. You knew that the music playing in the background was not loud enough to hide the sadness in your voice. He knew you like the back of his own hand, so you couldn't help but feel a little ashamed by the comment you just made.

"That's because I am." He flashed you a half smile. "I am happier." You couldn't say it didn't hurt you a bit when he confirmed that. You met his smile and stared at him for a while, rearranging the thoughts in your head. You wished it was you. You wished you were the girl that just walked out of the aisle with her arm looped around Kelly's.

"I'm happy for you. Really, I am." You nodded your head, gently squeezing his arm. "I am sorry that things didn't work out between us. But…seeing you here with that big smile on your face made my heart fill with joy. I always wanted you to be happy, Kelly. Even if that means I have to see you getting married to someone else."

Kelly stared at you for a while, not knowing what to say. He could see you were telling him the truth, you really were happy for him, but the look in your eyes told him something else. He could see right through you. You were hurting.

“I heard you’re leaving 51.” He changed the subject, taking a sip from his drink as he looked away. Deep down there was this odd feeling as if he was suddenly doubting the decision he made just an hour ago. He felt that if he kept looking into your eyes for too long he might regret getting married to the person that could've been you. Sometimes he looks at you and asks himself where did it all go wrong.

“Yeah, I'm leaving 51.” You quickly nodded your head, whipping off the tears that were forming in your eyes. “I need a fresh start, you know? I think spending some time away from Chicago might do some good.”

“Away from Chicago or away from me?” Kelly mumbled, his question felt more like a statement. Before you could answer, he shook his head and flashed you a smile. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. I think you should do whatever makes you feel better. If staying away from Chicago for a while is the solution, then go for it. I’ll be here for you when you come back.” He gently squeezed your shoulder as his own eyes started to water.

You nodded your head and pressed your lips together, holding back a sob. There was no point in holding back the tears, they were already running down your face as you quietly stood up and grabbed your purse.

Looking back at the party, you saw all of your friends smiling and having fun. Herrmann saw you standing there and quickly made his way toward you, noticing the fresh tears in your eyes. Without saying a word, he grabbed you by the hand and dragged you to the center of the room where all of your friends were drinking and dancing. Everyone from 51 was there, having the time of their life. They would hate you for not saying goodbye.

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[twistnet]

sights to behold [ stella kidd ]

⋯ SUMMARY ; there’s something absolutely magical about getting to see the woman of your dreams come around from behind the divide to show you her wedding dress for the first time -- and to think in a little less than an hour, you’ll get to call her yours for all eternity

⋯ WARNINGS ; female!reader + fluff [ weddings, loving and soft moments, some tears -- all happy, hand holding + sweet kisses ]

you stood in front of the floor-length mirror, hands brushing down the front of your dress almost as if to smooth out any wrinkles. letting out a nervous breath, you couldn't help but feel a sense of wonder. dressed in a breathtaking ivory gown, intricate lace detailing accentuating your every curve. the gown flowing down behind you gracefully. all made just for you. it was a symbol of your love and commitment, and the embodiment of your dreams.

just down the hall of your dressing room, sat all your friends and family gathered together in one room mingling with the murmurs of excited anticipation. as today was the day you would exchange vows with the love of your life, stella.

violet had only exited the room moments ago to grab your soon to be wife from her own dressing room. the bridesmaids face bright with a smile at the prospect of the two of you getting to see each other’s dresses for the first time.

a gentle knock interrupted your thoughts and with a fluttering heart, you turned to see stella standing in the doorway, a nervous smile on her face as she step further into your dressing room. she wore a pristine white wedding dress, a perfect match to your own, but with a touch of her own unique style. the dress hugged her figure elegantly, and her radiant smile outshone any sparkle in the room."hey, beautiful," stella whispered, her voice filled with awe as she drank in your breathtaking appearance. "i can't believe we're getting married today."

you couldn't help the tears that gathered in your eyes as you smiled softly, "i feel the same way, stella. this is a dream come true."

stella takes a step closer, her eyes never leaving yours. "may i?" stella asked, gesturing to your dress. you nodded, letting her approach and watching as her fingertips lightly brushed the delicate lace on your gown. marveling at the craftsmanship, her eyes shining with admiration."it's perfect," she murmured, her voice barely above a whisper. "just like you."

a surge of warmth filled your heart, and you reached out to take stella's hand. "and you are the most beautiful bride i could ever imagine," you replied, your voice filled with love.

stella's eyes shimmered with unshed tears, reflecting the depth of her emotions. "i am the luckiest person in the world to have found you, to be able to spend the rest of my life with you."

as your eyes locked, time seemed to stand still. the world around you faded away, leaving only the two of you, connected by an unbreakable bond. in that moment, all doubts and fears melted away, replaced by a profound sense of certainty and love. "you're my everything, stella," you confessed, your voice trembling with emotion. "today and always."

with tears of joy glistening in her eyes, stella drew you into a tender embrace. in that embrace, you knew that your wedding day wasn't just about the fancy decorations, the flowers, or the guests—it was about the love you shared, the promises you would make, and the lifelong journey you were embarking on together.

leaning back just enough to hold your gaze once more, her lips spread into a smile as she asks, “are you ready?” and once she has your confirmation, hands link together and are brought up to allow her to press a soft kiss to the back of your hand -- too afraid to ruin all the hard work violet had done with getting your ready this morning.

hand in hand, you both stepped away from the mirror, ready to begin the next chapter of your lives. your families awaited for you down the hall, filled with the promise of forever. and as you walked down the aisle, side by side, in your matching wedding dresses, you couldn't help but feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude— for the love that had brought you here and for the love that would carry you forward into a future. 

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[study-coffee-chicago]

Holiday Away (A Halstead Brothers + Halstead Sister Imagine)

A/N: I figured I'd write a festive imagine! Don't forget to vote and comment!

Enjoy! 

"Hey! The Halsteads are here!" Hermann exclaimed as you, Jay, and Hailey walked into Molly's.

"Three-fourths of us," you answered. "Will's at work."

"He'll be here later though, Hermann. Don't you worry," Jay reassured him.

"Good," Cindy said. "We have more than enough food.

"Where's everyone else?" you asked, meaning the rest of 51. You knew that everyone's schedule always got screwed up during the holidays, so some people on their normal shift got stuck working a different one.

"Pretty sure Stella and Kelly picked up a bit of overtime, so they should be here soon. I don't know when all the rest of them will be here," Herrmann answered.

 "Well, I went out with Gallo, Violet, and Ritter last night and Gallo and Ritter were three sheets to the wind when we left, so they're probably sleeping off hangovers," you said.

At this, Jay's eyes widened. "You didn't tell me that. Did they get home okay? I told you to call me or Will if you needed a ride home."

"Violet said she'd get them back to her apartment at least. And, she texted me when she was back, so don't worry. Jeez, have a little faith in me, Jay."

Jay rolled his eyes.

"Guys, we can continue this conversation when we have some food," Hailey said.

Jay nodded. "Good point."

The three of you grabbed Thanksgiving food with all the fixings from the bar and sat down.

The minute you sat down, in waltzed Adam, Kim, and Makayla followed by Kevin and... you gasped.

"Vanessa?!" you exclaimed and jumped up.

"Looks like they pulled it off," Kevin said as you ran up to her and gave her a hug.

You pulled away and gave a confused look to Kevin. "Pulled what off?"

"We all knew for months that she was coming home for Thanksgiving, but we decided to surprise you."

"Well, consider me surprised!"

"Alright, grab some food and then you can catch up!" Hermann yelled. "Cindy will murder me if all this food she and her book club made goes to waste!"

"Christopher!" Cindy yelled.

Hermann shrugged. "What? It's true."

You all laughed and then let the rest of Intelligence fill their plates while you helped Jay push together a table so that you could all sit together.

When Vanessa sat down, you decided it was time that you broke out your Spanish...despite how rusty it was from two years of online Spanish classes plus your current gap year between undergrad and grad school.

***

Half an hour later, Kelly and Stella walked in. And then, fifteen minutes after them, came Gallo, Violet, and Ritter.

"Hey!" Stella yelled. "If anyone wants drinks, c'mon up to the bar!"

"They ain't free, though!" Hermann yelled again. Cindy gave him a side-eye. "Fine. Fifty percent off, but only because it's a holiday. And, Lee Henry will be here with the other kids soon, so if he wants a drink, don't give it to him! He's still a few months away from the legal drinking age."

A few of the first responders laughed and then you waited for a few people to get up and go to the bar and then you went up.

When you ordered your drink from Stella, you had to yell over how loud it was starting to get. Some of the doctors and nurses from Med had just walked in, so there were even more people here. You couldn't believe it had only been you, Hailey, and Jay just a little over an hour ago.

"Hey, Y/N," Stella greeted. "What can I get for you?"

"Something fruity and a bit strong," you said.

Stella raised her eyebrows and she shared a look with Kelly who was sitting at the bar right next to you.

"Everything okay?" Kelly asked.

"Yeah, everything's fine," you answered. "Just started to get a bit crowded in here and I know my social meter will go down in about an hour."

"Your what?" he asked.

"I won't feel like being around people in an hour," you clarified.

"Fair enough," he said.

Then, Violet came and stood next to you. "Hey, Y/N. You hungover at all from last night?"

You shook your head. "I only had two drinks last night, remember? And they were super spaced out. You have any trouble getting Gallo and Ritter back to your place?"

"The hardest part was getting Gallo in and out of the car and up the stairs. Luckily Ritter wasn't as drunk as Gallo so he helped me with that part."

"Good. He drinking anything tonight?"

Violet smiled. "Well, he said no more drinking last night, but in about hour he'll probably break that. But, Ritter promised he'd only have two drinks tonight so I don't have to deal with both of them like I did last night."

"Well, that's good."

Then, Stella came out with your drink and you handed her some money. When you got back to your table, Makayla asked if you'd play her in Trivia Crack, to which you happily obliged.

***

You had been here for a little over three and a half hours and to say it was loud would be an understatement. Stella and Kelly were here, and so was Gallo since they didn't have close family to go to. Violet and Ritter had left a while ago to go spend some time with their families and Adam, Kim, and Makayla had left so that they could break into the pie that Makayla and Kim had made last night and Adam promised that they'd decorate for Christmas tonight, too. Will was here and since he had to drive himself home, he was capping himself at two drinks, so he wasn't as loud as Jay was because he was officially three sheets to the wind as of two drinks ago (Hailey had officially cut him off and Stella would now be serving him soda water with a splash of alcohol on the straw so that he assumed the drink was alcoholic). And there were lots of first responders who you hadn't met who were on shift and just stopped by for a Thanksgiving meal because they weren't able to spend the day with their families since they were working.

Unbeknownst to you, Hailey had had many a panic attack in her life and had been watching your body language. She had noticed how your brow was slightly furrowed all the time and how your eyes seemed to be hyper-focused on your drink in front of you and how your foot was bouncing on the leg of the chair.

"Can we go home soon?" you asked.

"I just got here," Will said. Then he caught your gaze. He too noticed your face. "Okay, how about we leave in an hour?"

An hour. You could do that.

"Okay. An hour. Yeah, that works," you agreed.

***

At least, you thought you could do an hour. Everything was normal and then you had to use the bathroom. You didn't go in there to avoid people, but to actually use the bathroom. But, when you were walking to the bathroom, you finally grasped how many people were there when you had to squeeze past people and were constantly saying excuse me and sorry.

There were too many people here and they were judging you. They were looking at you, talking about you.

You finally made it into the bathroom and, by some miracle, it was empty. You stood at the mirror and gripped the sink as hard as you possibly could because you needed to get out of here and you needed to do it now.

You couldn't go back through the crowd, but you didn't have your phone to text Hailey. It was still back at the table.

You still needed to pee though, so you made your way into a stall and you tried to focus on your breathing.

Was it getting faster? Shallower? Or was that all in your head?

Fuck, you didn't know anymore. You didn't know anything. You didn't know why you were feeling this way and why you always dreaded having to be around people and why you hated the holidays, but it happened and it always happened. And every year, you forgot how bad it was and then you agreed to do things and then Thanksgiving rolled around and you knew you were in a hellish month and a half of having to do too many things and see too many people and wear too much makeup and—

Oh, God. Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God, oh, God.

It was happening.

You weren't to the point of hyperventilating, but you knew that in about a minute your breath would be coming out in gulps.

You grabbed your left wrist with your right hand and dug your nails in as hard as you could. You hissed at the pain, but it gave you something else to focus on. You needed to get out of here and into Jay or Will's car before you became the talk of everyone's next shift.

"Y/N? Is that you?"

Shit. Stella.

"It- It- I'm fine," you said. But, even you wouldn't believe that statement.

"Doesn't sound like it. Are you sick? Do you want me to get Hailey? Or Will or Jay?" She asked.

"H- Hailey. Get Hailey."

"Okay. I'll be right back. Just, stay here."

Then, you heard footsteps and the sound of the door opening and closing.

Oh, no. Stella knows. Now people are gonna know you can't even handle seeing people for dinner and what if they tell people? What if they check you into the hospital for a psych eval? It wouldn't be crazy since you were around doctors and nurses. Or worse, what if Jay, Hailey, and Will didn't want to deal with you since you ruined Thanksgiving and they put you on a 72- hour psych hold? What if they—

"Y/N, hey, it's Hailey," Hailey said gently. "Stella's outside the bathroom. She's just telling people that there's an issue with a toilet so they don't come in." She paused and you looked down and saw that her feet were right outside your stall door. "Can you open the door?"

Slowly, you opened the door.

Hailey's eyes wandered down to your left wrist, which she saw was scratched up and she made a mental note to make sure it got cleaned when you got home. But, she knew that the important thing to focus on right now was your breathing.

"Y/N, I know these suck, okay? But, I'm gonna have you squeeze my hand and just focus on my breathing, okay?"

You nodded. "Sit- Sit down?" you asked.

"Sure, we can sit down."

You moved about ten feet and then slumped against the bathroom wall next to Hailey. She knew the floor was probably filthy, but she didn't care. All she cared about was making sure you, her little sister-in-law, was okay.

It took multiple tries and squeezing Hailey's hand as hard as you possibly could, but you eventually got your breathing back to normal.

Hailey wrapped an arm around your and pulled you into her as you finally began to cry.

"It's okay," she said gently. "It's okay."

You just continued to cry.

You had ruined Thanksgiving.

"Do you wanna go home?" You nodded. "Do you want me to have Stella take you out the back way and then Will can meet you there? I would take you, but Jay's drunk and he'll be more likely to listen to me than to Will when I tell him we need to leave later." A ghost of a smile appeared on your lips as you nodded. "There's that Halstead smile. Now, I'm gonna go get Stella and then have her stay in here with you and I'll talk to Will, okay?"

You nodded one more time and she squeezed your hand once more and then stood up and left the bathroom.

Not fifteen seconds later, Stella walked in, taking Hailey's place.

"C'mere," Stella said and held her arms out.

You stood up and hugged her as the last of your tears trickled down your cheeks.

"Let's get you outta here, kid," Stella said and quickly got you out of the bathroom and thorough a door marked employees only which was a door five feet to the left of the women's bathrooms. Then, you and she weaved your way through the many boxes in the back until you finally made it to the back exit.

When you got out, you were met with the smiling face of your oldest brother.

"Hailey said it would probably be best if I took you home and I think I agree. I don't need a shiner from having Jay punch me when I'm trying to shove his drunk ass in my car."

Will expected a laugh from you, but when nothing came, he just thanked Stella and led you to his car...which was parked half a block away.

"What do you say I stop at the gas station and grab us each a pint of ice cream, hmm?" Will asked when he started driving.

"We already had pie," you answered, your voice monotone.

"It's Thanksgiving. No one's counting. And, I think we should."

You shrugged. "Okay."

"And Jay doesn't get any because he'll just puke it up anyway."

"Get some for Hailey, too," you reminded him quietly.

Will smiled. He was just happy you were saying something instead of just answering questions.

"Do you know her favorite flavor?" he asked.

"Strawberry," you answered. "But, I think she only says that one's her favorite because Jay doesn't like it so he won't steal it."

Will laughed at that. "Okay, one pint of strawberry ice cream for Hailey, one pint of cookies n crème for you, and one pint of whatever looks good for me."

***

"Not so fast, missy," Will said after you walked in the door, grabbed a spoon from the kitchen, and made a beeline for your room. You turned to face him. "Gotta clean up your wrist first."

"How'd you know about that?" you asked. "And, they're barely even there. It's fine, Will."

"Hailey texted me about it while I was in getting ice cream and you were in the car. And, I don't care if they aren't deep. I'm cleaning them. Simple as that."

You knew there was no point in arguing with him and all you wanted to do was go to sleep after you ate your ice cream.

"Fine," you agreed and then put your ice cream on the counter and made your way to the bathroom.

You pushed yourself up onto the counter while Will busied himself grabbing supplies from the first aid kit.

"Jay really keeps this thing stocked, doesn't he?" Will commented.

"Him and Hailey are cops," was all you said to that.

Will just nodded, sensing you didn't want to talk that much, but that didn't mean that he wouldn't try like hell to get you to talk about what happened. After all, as the oldest, wasn't it his job to get to the bottom of it?

"Hand please," Will said after he got the alcohol wipes and bandaids out. You obeyed and held out your left hand, palm up. Will quickly inspected it. And, you weren't lying when you said the scratches were just superficial. "They're not deep at all."

"Told you," you mumbled.

Will busied himself with washing his hands and then opening the packet of alcohol wipes, hoping you'd say something. You didn't.

"This is gonna sting," He told you, and you bit your cheek as he wiped down your wrist. Then, he waited for it to dry and put a bandaid on it. "There. All better."

You got off the counter. "Can I have my ice cream now?"

Will knew bribery wasn't a good way to get someone to open up and though he would never use it on a real patient, you were his little sister, and therefore, that rule didn't apply to you.

"Depends," he began, "You gonna tell me what happened back at Molly's?"

"Nothing really happened," you told him. Because it was true. Nothing technically happened; your nervous system just decided to screw you over.

"People just don't have panic attacks for no reason, Y/N." He wasn't saying this in a rude way but in a caring way.

You sighed. "Jay's stubbornness is rubbing off on you."

"Good."

"Fine. There were too many people. I'm gonna go eat my ice cream now... in my room... alone."

"Just remember to throw it away when you're done," Will reminded you because he knew that was all he was going to get out of you right now. "Don't need an ant infestation in your bedroom."

You just nodded and made your way to the kitchen and grabbed your spoon and your pint of ice cream from where you had left them.

When you got into your room, you changed into a pair of comfy pajamas and then sat on your bed and opened your ice cream.

Then, you popped in your headphones and opened an audiobook on your phone, so that you had something else to listen to instead of your own thoughts, and started eating your ice cream.

Half an hour later, you had thrown away your empty pint of ice cream and laid in bed, ready for sleep to finally overtake you.

But, all you could think about was how you had ruined Thanksgiving and how you still had to somehow make it through Christmas and New Year's with all those people and parties without this happening.

Eventually, you cried yourself to sleep.

***

"How's the headache?" Will asked Jay the next morning.

"Will? What? I know you have a key, but—"

"I asked him to stay," Hailey said, walking out of the kitchen holding two cups of coffee. She handed one to Jay and left her cup of coffee on the table. Then, she pulled a bottle of Advil from her hoodie pocket and handed it to Jay. "Take 'em, mister."

"I will," Jay answered. "But, why'd have Will stay?"

"Well, between you being drunk off your ass and Y/N having a rough night, I can only deal with one thing at a time. He's here in case you were still drunk and Y/N had another panic attack."

"I'm gonna be honest here," Jay began, "I only vaguely remember last night."

Will and Hailey quickly filled him in, even though he remembered most of the night up to when you had to go home.

"So, did she talk to you?" Jay asked after he downed the pills and took a sip of his coffee.

"If you mean did she tell me anything useful, not really. She just said that there's too many people."

Hailey nodded. "That can happen. Overstimulation and stuff like that."

"Maybe I can get through to her," Jay suggested. "Sometimes I get that way with fireworks."

"That's a trigger, Jay," Hailey stated. "Not the same thing." She paused. "Or it could just be everything piling on together."

All of a sudden, something clicked in Will's head. He remembered working a case a couple years back where a woman came in and had chest pain. As it turned out, she was just having a panic attack. After speaking with Dr. Charles, they learned that the cause of it was the holidays on top of everything else happening in her life.

"Maybe it's all the people she has to see between now and New Years," Will suggested. "We had a patient come into the ED because of that once, thought the panic attack was a heart attack, happens more often than you'd think."

"Well, we can't force it out of her..." Hailey trailed off.

"True," Will agreed. "But I can phrase it as a yes or no question."

"And if it is, then what do we do?" Jay asked. "No Christmas parties? Just do Christmas with us four this year? Stay in on New Years?"

"We'll figure that out when we get there. But, start thinking of ideas just in case."

***

"Hey," Hailey said gently when she heard movement in the kitchen from her place on the couch next to Jay. She had been reading while Jay had been watching football highlights from the many games that happened yesterday. She nudged Jay and he turned his head to look at you. "You want some breakfast? Or, more like lunch now, I guess."

"I got it," you said. You knew if you talked any louder that you'd start crying, so you quickly made your way to a cabinet and took out a bowl and then a mug so that you could focus on making your breakfast.

You hadn't even had time to spoon yogurt into your bowl before Jay was up and placed a hand on your shoulder.

"Hey, talk to me, kiddo."

At that, you finally broke. You cried like you had last night. Except, this time, Jay wrapped his arms around you in his overprotective-big-brother way that always took away your bad dreams and worries when you were a kid.

"Let us in, Y/N," Jay whispered. "What's going on?"

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to r- ruin Thanksgiving!"

"Oh, no," Hailey said as she made her way over to you, holding a cold glass of water for you to drink when you could. "You didn't ruin in."

"I did! I'm sorry!"

Jay pulled away from you and put his hands on your shoulders. "Hey, look at me." You looked up at him. "You didn't ruin anything. And, even if you did, I didn't remember the second half of last night anyway."

The last part almost got a smile out of you. Almost.

"Do you know why any of this happened?" Jay asked.

Hailey sighed. Her husband obviously still didn't understand regular anxiety as she did. So, she decided it was time for her to step in. "What he's trying to say is, what was happening before you ran into the bathroom? What was the last thing you were thinking? Because sometimes it's not one specific thing that you can easily identify."

You looked down and thought for a beat.

"I was thinking that there were a lot of people."

"Okay, good. That's really good, Y/N."

And, I know that there's a lot of people we have to see and parties we have to go to for Christmas and New Years and- and I didn't want to tell you I don't want to go because you guys might think I'm stupid—"

"Whoa, hey," Jay said quickly, effectively cutting you off. "We'd never think you're stupid."

You wiped your nose as it started to run.

"You should. I think I'm—"

"Nope, none of that," Jay cut you off again. "How about you eat and then go take a shower and then we can watch movies all day? Because Lord knows this hangover's kicking my ass."

You nodded. "Yeah, yeah, okay."

Then, you took the glass of water from Hailey and chugged it before going to take a hot shower to wash away your multiple breakdowns from the past twelve hours.

***

"Hey, you—"

"I got something," Jay told Will over the phone as soon as he heard the water running. "And, as much as it pains me to say it, you were right, about the holiday anxiety thing."

"She told you that?"

"I don't know if she meant to say it or it just tumbled out, but yeah."

"So, what do we do?" Will asked.

"How much time off do you have saved up?"

Will sighed. "Jay, what are you planning?"

"I'm not planning anything. This just popped into my head, I swear. So, how much time off?"

"Enough. Now, what were you thinking?"

"What if we go up to the cabin, say on the 19th? We can spend Christmas and New Years up there. I'll ask Voight for furlough later and get back to you. I don't think it'll be an issue, though."

Will sighed. "Listen, that's two and a half weeks. I have enough, but everyone wants off for the holidays. But, if I can't swing it, you just bring Y/N up there and have Christmas without me."

"Will—"

"No, I'm serious. I'll be fine. I'm more worried about her." He paused. "Wait, how's she getting time off?"

"I'm gonna talk to her about going tonight so that she can request time off when she goes into work. It's easier for her to get off than it is for us, anyway."

"Yeah. Well, let me know. And, I'll talk to Goodwin tomorrow. Y/N's doing better then?"

"A bit. She was still upset, but then me and Hailey talked to her. She's showering now and then we'll see how she is."

"Okay, keep me updated."

"Will do. Let me know if you get the time off."

***

3 weeks later

"Why are we leaving so early?" you complained when you and Jay were carrying things out to his truck.

"Because we have to pick Will's sorry ass up. And, if you don't complain anymore, we'll stop for breakfast on our way to pick him up."

You looked at him and raised an eyebrow. "You're not lying to me?"

Jay shook his head. "Nope. Now, how about you jump in the trunk and I'll hand you everything?"

"We're covering this stuff with a tarp, right?" You asked.

"Oh, yeah," Jay agreed.

It was snowing a little bit right now, so you knew as you drove north, that the snow would only get heavier.

"Good." You looked at the boxes sitting on top of Jay's suitcase, duffle, and toolbox. "Are any of these presents?"

Jay handed you your suitcase and your set it down in the bed of the truck. "No snooping. Some you will get tonight, though."

"Tonight? Really?" you asked excitedly.

"Just a couple little things from me and Will."

"You wanna give me a hint?"

"Hmmmm, how about no?"

"How about yes?"

"No."

"Fine."

Ten minutes later, the truck was packed and you were doing one last double-check through the house while Jay said goodbye to Hailey. Voight said he needed at least one detective in Intelligence for the next few days, so Hailey was gonna fly out early in four days—on December 23–and then Jay would go and pick her up while you and Will stayed at the cabin and then she'd stay up there through New Years and ride home with the three of you.

Now it was time to grab breakfast, pick up Will, and then it was off to Wisconsin.

***

You thought that you were dying. Actually, maybe that was a little too dramatic. You just wanted to jump into an ice-cold lake. Maybe that would make your headache, dizziness, and nausea stop.

You leaned your head against the window. You had taken Dramamine fifteen minutes ago when you three had stopped at a gas station to grab drinks and go to the bathroom, but it wasn't kicking in yet.

"Will," you groaned.

"You okay back there, Short Stack?" he asked and turned around.

"No. How long does this take to work?"

Will studied your face. "You look a little pale." He turned back to face forward. "Jay, take that exit up there and pull into the first parking lot. Y/N looks like she's gonna throw up."

Jay glanced in the rearview mirror. "I'll turn down the heat," he said and fiddled with the dial. "Five minutes, kiddo. Hold on for five minutes."

"It takes about thirty minutes to an hour to kick in, so when we find somewhere to stop, we'll stop for about twenty minutes, and then you should be good. Just close your eyes."

"Okay," you mumbled.

Will said something to Jay, but you didn't catch it.

"Yeah, I'll get it out when we stop."

"Okay, good," Will said.

You didn't know what they were talking about, but frankly, you didn't care. You just wanted the spinning to stop.

Five minutes later, Jay pulled into the first parking lot he saw, which happened to be one for a church. And there was no one in the parking lot other than you, which you were grateful for because you really didn't need other people seeing we you throw up the breakfast that you had eaten earlier.

The minute Jay put the truck in park, you were out of the truck and doubled over.

You heard a door slam and then Will was right next to you.

You dry heaved a couple of times.

"Ugh," you groaned. "I just wanna puke so that it'll stop, but nothing's coming out!"

"I know, I know," Will said. "But sometimes that's all it is."

You groaned again. "I wanna sit down, but I don't wanna sit in the truck because it's too hot."

Will looked around and he saw the church entrance covered by an awning, keeping the area below it free from snow. "How about we walk over to the doors and you can sit under the awning? How's that sound?" You nodded and started walking towards it with Will staying close to you in case you got dizzy or something like that. "Jay's grabbing you some Benadryl from the first aid kit and some water. Hopefully, that'll help."

"Yeah, because I'll be asleep until we get to the cabin," you said as you slumped against the building.

"Exactly."

Will was squatting in front of you, but you needed him to sit down next to you.

"Sit down," you ordered.

"Why?" Will asked, a smile appearing on his face. "So you can use me as a pillow?"

"Yes."

"Fine." He reluctantly agreed and slumped down against the building and you quickly leaned against him and closed your eyes. "Better?"

"Hmm, much."

You heard quick footsteps approaching and opened your eyes.

"Here," Jays said and squatted in front of you two and held out a pill and a bottle of water. "Take this. And then I gotta get a picture of you two to send to Hailey. You two are adorable."

You took the pill and water from Jay and glared at him playfully.

"Yeah, yeah," Will said. "Laugh it up, Jay. But, your ass is sitting in the back because I'm driving now and Y/N needs the front seat so she doesn't puke."

Fifteen minutes later, your Dramamine had finally kicked in and you were back on the road, this time with Will driving, you in the front seat, and Jay stuck in the back.

***

"Perfect. Got it," you heard Jay say as you were just starting to wake up.

You blinked and opened your eyes to see that you were exiting the highway and then you turned to see Jay throwing himself back into the seat where he had been sitting. That got your attention.

"What happened? What were you doing?" you asked and shot up in your seat. Your question was answered by Jay just smiling at you sheepishly and pressing a few buttons on his phone.

A notification popped up on both your and Will's phone.

"Check your phone," Jay told you.

You glared at him and reached for your phone.

It was a notification in the group chat between you, your brothers, and Hailey, which you had named Halsteads x4.

There in the chat was a picture of you sleeping with your mouth wide open and a spot of drool on the front of your hoodie.

You looked between Jay and Will twice and then looked down at your hoodie.

Yup.

The drool was still there.

You wiped at your face just in case there were drool marks near your mouth that the camera didn't pick up.

"That picture doesn't go anywhere except that chat. You hear me?" you ordered.

"Hmmm, I'll think about it," Jay said.

"Yeah, me too," Will agreed.

"You two are assholes."

Will laughed. "Love you, too."

Then, another notification popped up in the same group chat. It was from Hailey.

Awww, she drools almost as much as you, Jay.

"Ha! Shots fired!" you yelled. "I am so glad you married Hailey."

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up," Jay said sarcastically. "Just park up there," he told Will.

"What are we doing?" you asked.

"We're switching drivers," Jay answered. "I can maneuver this truck on the backroads better than Will. We don't need to run head first into a tree tonight."

"I drive fine, thank you very much," Will argued.

"You almost gave me a heart attack when you slammed on the brakes. Twice! I'm surprised you didn't wake Y/N up!"

"Well, I'm not getting out of the front seat, so you get to sit in the back, Will."

"You are so lucky you're the youngest," was all Will said to that.

***

"So, which one of you is checking for mice?" you asked when Jay put his truck in park in front of the cabin.

"I sprayed that place with rodent repellant and set so many mouse traps before we left in July, you'll be fine," Jay told you.

"No!" you yelled immediately. "You have to go check. I'm not gonna be screaming for one of you to come downstairs in the middle of the night to come catch a mouse for me!"

"Just go check, Jay," Will agreed.

"And you're not coming because...?" Jay asked.

"I'm the one who gets to tell you if your mouse bite is infected if you get bitten. And, you have a gun, I don't."

Jay sighed and unbuckled his seatbelt. "Yes, because if a mouse runs in front of me, I'm gonna shoot it, which is gonna put a hole in the floor. Think, Will!"

"I do more thinking at my job than you do!" Will argued.

You leaned your head against the passenger seat.

Hailey will be here in four days...Hailey will be here in four days..., you kept repeating to yourself.

"Just make sure there's no mice, please. You both do lots of thinking at your jobs. Just, go check the cabin, Jay."

You swore you heard him say that he hated being the middle child when he got out of the truck.

***

Half an hour later, you and Will finally entered the cabin. Jay had confirmed that there were no mice and he hadn't seen one...except for the one in the oven that he burnt to a crisp and then took care of it and put the oven on the self-clean cycle while he searched the rest of the cabin. And, if he did see any more mice while he was searching the rest of the cabin and had to get rid of them, well, he made sure not to tell you that because he wanted you to be able to sleep tonight.

"I get Mom and Dad's room, right?" you asked.

"Yeah," Jay confirmed. "Until Hailey gets here. Then you switch with me and get the loft."

"I should get to share a room with Hailey and you and Will should just stay upstairs," you said.

"I'd like to sleep with my wife, thank you very much." You burst out laughing and Will almost dropped the box he was carrying. "Not like that! Jesus Christ!" Jay tried to walk it back, but it was too late.

"As long as we don't hear any noises, feel free," Will joked with a shit-eating grin on his face. This, in turn, earned him a punch in the arm from Jay.

"I don't need to think about that, you nasties!" you yelled. "La, la, la, la, la, la!" you yelled as you made your way to your room to put down your suitcase and duffle.

Ten minutes later, you had everything inside and had just finished putting fresh sheets and blankets on your bed.

You walked out of the room and asked about the thing you wanted to do the most since you learned about it this morning.

"Can I open my presents now? Please?" you asked.

Jay and Will laughed. "It's like you're five," Will commented.

"At least I don't snoop for my presents. Jay," you said and turned and glared at him.

"That made me into the detective I am today."

"Oh, bullshit!" Will yelled. "But, yes, you can open your presents."

Jay walked upstairs to the loft and came down with two bags.

"Merry early Christmas, kiddo."

You took the bags from him and quickly opened the bigger one first.

Inside, were two Christmas sweaters. One was gray and had a pug wrapped in Christmas lights on it and the other was green and said Fleece Navidad and had a sheep with a Santa hat on it.

"They're so cute!" you exclaimed.

"We figured you needed something festive," Will said. "And, me, Jay, and Hailey all have the dog one so we can match."

"That part was Hailey's idea," Jay chimed in. You opened your mouth to say something, but Jay quickly cut you off. "And she's bringing them up with her. Our's are not here."

You gave him a fake pout, causing both he and Will to laugh. Then, you moved on to the next bag.

"A face mask...body scrub...shower fizzers...fuzzy sloth slippers...nail polish," you said as you took items out of the bag.

"Hailey had the idea for a little self-care kit for you," Jay explained. "So, most of this stuff was her idea."

"Um, I found the slippers, thank you very much," Will said.

You laughed. "Thanks, you guys. I love it."

"I vote hot chocolate and at least the first two Home Alone movies," Jay suggested. "Everyone good with that?"

"As long as you spike the hot chocolate with Bailey's," Will said.

"I second that!" you agreed.

Jay rolled his eyes. "Fine. I'll spike the hot chocolate."

***

"Wake up. Y/N, wake up," you heard Will say as he began to gently shake your shoulder.

You rolled over and opened your eyes. "Hmmm. We're on vacation. Let me sleep."

"It's 2:00. You've slept like fourteen hours."

That got you up.

"What? How?"

"Well, you fell asleep on the couch last night—"

"I know that. I mean how did I sleep that long without waking up once?"

"You were tired. Now, get up and get ready. We're cutting down our Christmas tree."

"What? I thought there was a dinky fake one that mom and dad left in the attic from when you and Jay were little."

"Yeah, but we thought it would be more fun if we cut down a tree. It's cold out, so wear layers. And before you ask, yes, coffee is already made."

"Okay, I'll get ready. Hopefully, Jay doesn't hurt himself with the chainsaw."

"Better him than me."

"Will!"

He put his hands up in a sign of surrender. "What?" Will laughed. "It's true!"

You chucked a pillow at him. "Now get outta here so I can change."

***

"Wait!" you yelled as Jay turned on the chainsaw after the three of you picked out a tree.

"What? What's wrong?" Jay asked as he quickly turned off the chainsaw.

"I need you to pick up the axe."

"Why?"

"Yeah, why?" Will parroted.

"Just humor me and pose like you're gonna chop down the tree. Or whack it once. I don't care."

"Why?" Jay asked again.

"For an Instagram post."

"You're not gonna let this go, are you?"

"No."

He sighed. "Fine."

You took out your phone and filmed Jay taking a whack at the tree with the axe.

Then, you pocketed your phone and walked closer to Will. "We don't have a lumberjack, we have a lumber Jay."

Will smiled and shook his head. "That's what you're gonna caption it, aren't you."

"Yup. Shocked you know what that is."

"Oh, Jay's gonna love that. And, I am not that old."

"I'd beg to differ."

"Can I use the chainsaw now?" Jay yelled.

"You're good!" you yelled.

"Will, get over here and direct me!"

Will walked over and you trailed behind him—at a safe distance—to watch this.

"Why am I directing you and not Y/N?" Will asked.

"You know how she is with directions. You're helping me shove this thing into the truck so I can back it up to the door of the house so we can get it inside, too."

"I have very valuable hands!"

"There's extra gloves. Now, c'mon! We're burning daylight here!"

You laughed. "Okay, now you are both officially old!"

***

Later that night after getting the tree inside and decorating it, Jay and Will were both immersed in their card game upstairs on the floor of the loft. They tried to convince you to come play with them, but they were playing Euchre and you had no idea to how to play, and to be honest, you had no desire to learn how to play.

So, you decided now was the perfect time to sneak off to Jay's truck and try and find the wifi password for it.

You grabbed Jay's keys off the hook by the door and then quietly opened the door and went outside.

You thought the smartest thing to do would be to open the driver's side door with the key instead of hitting the buttons.

You did this and then got in the driver's seat and looked for the wifi network.

Nothing.

You reloaded your settings and even turned your phone off and on again, but still nothing.

You turned the key in the truck and the engine quickly revved to life.

But, this alerted your brothers and they came running outside before you could even attempt to put the password in.

"What the hell are you doing?" Jay yelled as he yanked open the door. "Get out! Now."

"Jay, relax," Will told him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sure Y/N has a perfectly fine explanation for this." He locked eyes with you. "Don't you, Y/N?"

"I wanted the wifi."

"For?" Jay probed and raised an eyebrow.

"To watch the Hawks game."

"To watch—" Jay looked down and shook his head and started laughing. "You wanted my truck's wifi to watch the Hawks game?"

"Yeah," you answered quietly. Even though you were 22, Jay could still easily change into the scary detective in front of you in a heartbeat.

"Why didn't you just come tell me?" he asked.

"Because I thought you'd say no."

"And you're right."

"Jay! Why would you—" Will started, but Jay quickly cut him off.

"Right that I won't let you connect to it. But, I'll pull the truck around closer to the cabin, put it in auxiliary, and then you can watch the game on my laptop. That sound okay?" 

"Yes!" You jumped out of the truck so that Jay could get in and move it.

At the end of the night, the three of you were all exhausted from cutting down the tree and the game was high scoring and went into a shootout that Jay almost forgot to go back outside and turn off his truck.

***

The next day was a very relaxing day. You used all your self-care stuff and read a book and drank warm wine throughout the day while Jay and Will spent time in the barn doing who knows what.

The next day was spent similarly, except for the fact that it was mostly Jay who was holed up in the barn all day while you convinced Will to make cookies and watch all of the Santa Claus movies with you.

Will periodically went out to the barn to help Jay, and even though you wanted to go in, every time you tried to, you were stopped by either Jay or Will—one time Jay had to actually carry you back inside the cabin—and they wouldn't tell you a single thing about that they were doing in there.

Now it was finally the 23rd and Hailey was going to be here soon. Jay had to wake up early to get to the airport to pick her up, but he had promised that he'd bring breakfast back for you and Will, mainly because Will couldn't cook and you hated cooking things for multiple people (you always made either too little or too much).

***

Once Jay got back with Hailey and the four of you ate breakfast, you quickly led Hailey into your room.

"What's the rush?" she asked with a big smile on her face.

"I need help wrapping Will and Jay's gifts and I need to do it before they make me go upstairs because Jay snoops and there's a lock on this door."

"Ohhh. I got it."

"Also, did Jay tell you what the two of them were doing in the garage? They've been holed up in there for two days and when I try to go in, they stop me."

Hailey shook her head. "Jay didn't mention that."

You crossed your arms over your chest and cocked an eyebrow. "Are you just saying that because he told you to say that or because you actually don't know?"

Hailey laughed. "I really don't know, Y/N. You look like Jay when you do that, though. He does that a lot in interrogations."

You quickly uncrossed your arms. "Please never say I look like him again."

Hailey shook her head. "Okay. Now, what are we wrapping?"

***

"You wake 'em up," you hissed at Will on Christmas morning.

"No, you," Will argued back.

"You've seen the body parts! I don't need to see a penis on Christmas!"

"Well, I don't need to see my brother's penis or my sister-in-law's boobs. Seeing a patient's for medical purposes is different."

"You're older!"

"That's seriously the best argument you could come up with?"

"Yes, now—"

"You know we can hear you, right?" Jay yelled from the living area below you. "Me and Hailey have been up for an hour."

"Oh, well this is awkward," you said quietly so that only Will could hear you.

"We're coming down now, Jay!" Will yelled down and then proceeded to get out of bed and walk downstairs.

When Will was downstairs, you made your way over to the closet and changed your shirt into the sweater with a pug with Christmas lights on it. Then, you grabbed Will's from the dresser and headed downstairs.

"You forgot this," you told Will.

You had suggested that all four of you wear your matching Christmas sweaters today and Hailey enthusiastically agreed. After that, Jay texted you that this would be Hailey's first Christmas where she's not alone or with her family and he wanted to make it as special as possible. And, it would be the first one where they were actually married.

Will quickly put on the sweater and Jay threw a Santa hat to you.

"You're Santa this year, kiddo," he told you, which meant that you would be the one passing out the presents.

"Ho, ho, ho," you said and placed it on your head.

Then, you grabbed your present to Jay and Hailey to give to them.

***

Half an hour later all the gifts were open and you thought you had done a pretty good job with your gift-giving this year. You had given Hailey and Jay a set of brand-new pots and pans since they were always complaining about the ones they had. And then, you added something small for each of them such as a pack of fancy face masks and tea for Hailey and a six-pack of beer from around the world for Jay. For Will, you had gotten him a customized stethoscope with the Blackhawks logo and their colors inscribed with his name. You reassured him that Maggie had helped you order so it was up to doctors' and nurses' standards.

"We have one more gift for you and Hailey," Jay said.

You looked around. "Where?"

"Grab your shoes and come out to the garage."

As the four of you walked out to the garage in the cold weather and through a dusting of snow on the ground, you asked Hailey if she knew what was going on.

She said she had no idea.

"Merry Christmas," Jay said with a huge smile on his face as he opened the garage.

Sitting in the center of the garage was what looked like a homemade hockey net, made out of what looked to be wood and painted red and black for the Blackhawks and then rope tied in small knots between the posts as the net. There were two hockey sticks and when you looked closer you saw that one said your first initial followed by Halstead on the shaft of your stick and then H. Upton-Halstead on the shaft of Hailey's. There were also two pairs of hockey skates and a burgundy bag filled with hockey pucks.

"Now you see what we've been doing in the garage for so long," Will told you.

"You two built all this?" you asked, astonished, as you picked up your stick.

"We just built the net," Jay answered. "Me and Will know a guy from playing pickup who knows a guy who makes custom sticks, so he made those." Jay looked at Hailey with a puzzled look. She looked like she wanted to cry. "You okay, babe?"

"I just- I don't know how to skate," she answered quietly.

Jay put an arm around her. "That's okay. I'll teach you."

"We thought of that," Will said and quickly came back with a folding chair. "You can bring this on the river to help keep your balance." He turned to you. "As for you, I'm teaching you how to hockey stop."

"Why?"

"Because, when we play two-on-two, you're on my team and I don't want to lose."

Jay scoffed. "We both know I'm the better shooter here."

"The rule is we have to keep the puck on the ground. No wrist shots, bud. I don't feel like having to do impromptu stitches."

"Hmm, we might actually win," you said.

"What do you guys say?" Jay asked. "After we have cinnamon rolls for breakfast, wanna start skating? And then we can come in and all work on lunch together?"

"You promise I won't have a broken arm after this?" Hailey asked.

Jay laughed. "I will try my best."

Then, the four of you went back inside and ate a breakfast of cinnamon rolls and coffee. Then, you brought everything down to the frozen river and started lacing up your skates for a day on the ice.

Over the next week while you were at the cabin, Hailey successfully learned how to skate and how to protect the puck with her stick, and Will successfully taught you how to hockey stop—you were better at stopping with your right skate forward than your left skate—and Jay taught you how to do a wrist shot. And, nobody needed stitches or broke an arm or any other bone.

You would say that this was a great way to spend Christmas away from everyone, but still with the people you loved.

A/N: See? I told you it would be festive! As always thank you for reading and please remember to reblog and comment! As always, if you want to be added to my taglist, just tell me and I'll add you!

Taglist: taglist: @theambracer88 @virtualreader @kelelas-life @celyndavies @brookerz122493 @musicismyescape27 @anotherfan07 @thexplosivegirl @dreamingwithlens @xoxmariaxox @911ls-tarlos @iamasimpingh0e @i-like-sparkly-things @herecomesthewriterwitch @liampayne88 @glitterquadricorn @luvreading67 @smoothdogsgirl@afriendlyneighborhoodhufflepuff@actlikesummerr @lcothr523 @star-wars-lover

[leslieseveride]

[spexialvixtimxunit]

A Special Moment

500 Follower Special

Part 2 from - Eating out

Warnings: Top!Stella Kidd x Black!Afab!Female!Reader,

Masterlist

Note: It's been a while since I posted and I forgot I had this in my drafts and was supposed to post this a while ago, I hope you enjoy this.

*there are writing mistakes in my works, I don’t proofread!*

。　♡ 。　　♡。　　♡. 。　♡ 。　　♡。　　♡ 。

“Tonight is all about you.” You whispered as you examined her body. Her hair was spread out all over the bed, her body hugged a black dress tightly to her figure.

You began your hunt, pushing her dress up to her waist, spreading her legs as you pulled off her underwear. She studied you, watching your every move.

You found what you were looking for, going down on her, devouring her wet area. She let out a moan as she grabbed onto your head, pushing you close. You moved her hands and grabbed onto her wrist.

You shook your head no as you could hear how frustrated she was. “If you move, you can’t cum.” You said while removing your mouth from her area.

She let out another whine, wanting you to touch her, having you to touch her. You could tell she was getting slightly angry as you continued to tease her by edging her, ever so slightly.

Stella let out a moan, figuring that she was about to cum, you pulled away, edging her once more. “Baby stop, please. Please let me cum. I need, I need to cum baby please.” She mewled.

You chuckled, "Only because today is about, I'll give you what you want only for today." You continued to devour her, savoring every feeling and flavor spilling out of her.

You allowed her to pull your face close to her as she came all over your face. You giggled as you could hear her soft panting as she whined in pleasure. "Oh fuck, baby." She whispered.

You got up and pulled up your dress to straddle her waist, leaning in to plant soft kisses on her flushed cheeks. Nothing could compare to the feeling you had felt every time you made her cum.

Naturally, her hands placed themselves on your waist. "How was that for a birthday gift?" She laughed at your comment. "I guess that was surely a surprise for me and I definitely enjoyed myself." She flirted.

"If you think that was the rest of your gift, you are wrong." You readjusted yourself, lining both of your clits up, pushing your hips together. "I want us to cum together." You whispered, letting out a moan as you could feel the wetness of your area slip all over her.

Soon enough all the excitement spilled over your bodies and you both came. "Oh my god, that was something else." Stella said sheepishly. YOu smiled, "Happy birthday Stella, I'm glad you enjoyed yourself tonight."

。　♡ 。　　♡。　　♡. 。　♡ 。　　♡。　　♡ 。

[sailingfireshipz]

The fact that he gave her a hard time about it just for him to have tried it to begin with lmao.

[callsign-dexter]

Heatwave of Emotions 18+

Request: Hey hooooo my dear ❤️ I love your blog sooooo much that I cannot resist to send in a Kelly Severide idea for my bday on Monday 🫣🥰 but of course you can write it whenever you have time !It would be something where you're just moved to Chicago, working at 51 and everyone immediately loves you, especially one grumpy Lieutenant. So after some weeks adjusting to everything and even getting closer with Kelly, which everyone notices and sees how happy you make each other, you finally agree on a date with him. Which turns out absolutely great and you're about to kiss as some random chick disturbs you both (she's been a one time thing with him at some point but not something serious) and you leave him standing there, being hurt and sad. The next days you barely talk with him and don't get him any chance to explain, so the rest of 51 tries talking in your mind that he's never been that serious about a girl until you showed up and stuff. Sooooo on a free day you show up at his apartment, wanting to talk with him, but as he opens the door you notice he just came out of the shower and you cannot get your thoughts together, so you kiss him, which he gladly returns and the situation gets into his bedroom, getting away all doubts of you🔥😉

Pairings: Kelly Severide x Paramedic!Reader

Warnings: angst, fluff, smut

Masterlist

A/N: Happy Belated Birthday to the anon who sent this in! I hope you enjoy it!

A/N 2: @talesofreading and @imagine-all-the-fandoms here is some Kelly Severide for ya!

When you moved to Firehouse 51 in Chicago from your old house back in Colorado, who wasn’t the best towards women, you thought this was going to be the same way. Boy, were you wrong. When you walked in you saw several women and the house and when they saw you, they immediately welcomed you and made it feel like home. Sylvie Brett, Stella Kidd, and Gabriela Dawson became your immediate friends and you couldn’t ask for anyone better to hang out with. When you were introduced to the rest of everyone, they were quick to make you feel welcomed and that made you smile. There was one person that caught your eye and you could tell that you had caught his eye as well. Once everyone cleared out and it was just you and him in the room, he approached you. “Hi I’m Kelly Severide. I work on Squad 3.” He said and smiled a dazzling smile that had you swooning and you smiled back at him.

“I’m Y/N Y/L/N. I’m gonna be working on Ambulance 61 with Sylvie and Gabriela.” You said and he smiled and nodded.

“You’ll be with the best. So, what made you move here?” He asked and you could tell he was actually curious and not looking for small talk.

“My firehouse back in Colorado wasn’t the best towards women and my ex-boyfriend cheated on me and he worked in the same house. I was the laughing stalk and needed a new start.” You said and he looked like he was actually pissed that happened to you.

“That is no way to treat someone as beautiful as you.” He said and you actually blushed and you were going to say something else but the bells rang for Ambulance 61 and he looked at you. “Well, it looks like it is your time to shine.” He said and you nodded as Sylvie came and motioned you to come and you did as you were walking towards the ambulance and got in the back, she turned to you.

“You and Kelly, huh?” She said with a smirk and you just bowed your head and smiled while blushing.

“Ohhhh, what is this about?” Gabriela asked and Sylvie turned to her.

“When I went to get her, she and Kelly were talking up a storm and he was smiling like actually smiling.”  She said

“Are you saying that Kelly and Y/N have a crush on each other already?” She asked and you just blushed furiously because yes it was true.

“Exactly what I’m saying.” She said

“Stop it guys.” You said but you were smiling and they laughed.

“In all seriousness, this is the first time I actually saw him smile an actual smile.” Sylvie said

“Really?” You asked and she nodded and turned back to look at you.

“Yes, he doesn’t smile a lot and he has been a grouch for a while.” She said but you didn’t get to ask any more questions because you had arrived at the scene. You three worked perfectly together but you couldn’t stop thinking about Kelly and he couldn’t stop thinking about you.

——————————————————————

4 weeks had gone by and you were loving your new house and they were loving you. You fit in well with the group.  We were close with all them but you were very close to none other than Kelly Severide. You won’t admit it but you had a crush on the handsome Squad 3 member whenever you were in the room together. Both of you could not stop smiling and making heart eyes with each other.

Not many calls were coming in so you took this time to tidy things up and get to know more of your coworkers. You had just come back from using the restroom when you heard Casey's voice and stopped where you couldn’t be seen, especially when you heard your name. “Ever since Y/N came, Kelly has been a lot nicer.” He said

“Oh absolutely, he is smiling a lot more and it's creepy but it’s nice.” Stella said and everyone agreed this made you smile to yourself. You had noticed that his mood had changed and to be honest it was nice to have a male being so nice and making you feel noticed. It had gone quiet so you had walked away with a smile on your face. You walked where the trucks were and found Kelly sitting there and that just made you smile even more. You walked over to him and sat down and he looked up and smiled.

“What are you smiling about?” He asked with a smile.

“Oh, nothing really. I just love this house and it’s nowhere near my last one and I’m so grateful for that.” You said and he leaned up further.

“We absolutely love having you here. I know I do most of all. Speaking of knowing you. I have to admit that I do have a crush on you.” He said and that made you blush.

“I do too.” You said shyly.

“Well, if we feel the same way then maybe go out on a date with me. I know you have turned me down in the past.” He said, this hasn’t been the first time that he had asked and each time you had politely turned him down and he understood and didn’t push but that didn’t stop him from asking a few weeks later. You looked at him thinking, this is the first time that you both had admitted that you had crushes on each other.

“Ok, fine. I’ll go on a date with you.” You said and the biggest smile appeared on his face.

“Really?” He asked and you nodded.

“Really.” You said

“What kind of food do you like?” He asked

“I really love Thai food.” You said and he smiled and nodded.

“I know this really good Thai place. I’ll pick you up at 7 tomorrow night.” He said and you nodded.

“Sounds like a date.” You said

“Indeed, it does.” He said and then the bells went off. You all were heading out onto the call.

——————————————————————

The day of the date started the few days you had off and you were somewhat looking forward to it but not really, you had really just wanted to be with your crew because being alone in a house by yourself sucked. You had spent all day getting ready for your date that you had even called Stella, Sylvie, and Gabriela over to help. When they asked why and you told them they practically squealed and dragged you to your room and started going through your closet. After finally settling on a pair of jeans that hugged your legs and accented what they needed and a nice red shirt that once again accented everything it needed to, you were ready. While you waited, they did your hair and makeup and then you all gossiped. It was mostly about Kelly but you didn't mind not in the least bit. They left around 6:30 PM and now you just had to wait.

7 PM rolled around and Kelly was knocking on your door. During the weeks everyone had exchanged phone numbers with you and some of them, mostly the 3 females that had become your friends, knew you address one being Kelly. You walked to your door and opened to find him on the other side holding some flowers and that made you smile. “These are for you.” He said and handed you the flowers which you gladly took.

“Thank you. Peonies are my favorite.” You said taking them and bringing them up to your nose to smell them. “Come inside while I put these away.” You said and stepped aside and he did just that. 

“So, our reservation is at 7:30 PM.” He said “It doesn't take that long to get there.” He added and you nodded as you finished putting the flowers in a vase. When it was close to 7:30 PM you both started to head that way. It turns out it was a walking distance but he insisted on driving and you let him. He found a place to park and then he was shutting off the engine and walking over to your side of the car and opening the door for you and that made you smile. 

“Thank you.” You said and he smiled.

“You’re very much welcome.” He said and when you were plenty enough away from the door, he shut it and locked it. You walked in and straight to the desk “Reservation for two under Severide.” He said and the hostess nodded and smiled.

“Right this way.” They said and you followed them. You both were led outside to a semi-private area and Kelly pulled out the chair for you. The date was going well and you two got to know a lot about each other. When the date was over, he paid for it and then you both left. As you were walking to his car that was parked a few feet away, the both of you stopped at a little park that was close by with a fountain. 

“I really had a nice time with you.” You said looking up at him and he smiled.

“I did too. Do you wish you would’ve gone out with me sooner?” He asked and you chuckled.

“I think I was right to turn you down those three other times. It just helped make this night even more perfect.” You said and he chuckled.

“I get it. I’m just glad you said yes, this time.” He said and then turned to you and the both of you stood there staring at each other and you both slowly leaned in. Your lips were almost touching when a female voice sounded.

“Kelly? Kelly Severide?” The voice said and that made you both look up and over at the voice.

“Alexa.” He said and your stomach dropped. Everyone told you about his flings and relationships that didn’t work out. You expected to meet them sooner or later but not now.

“Why haven’t you texted me back? I wanna hook up again.” Alexa said and that made you feel even worse.

“I told you we were done.” He said and he shook his head and looked over at you. 

“Baby, I promise we are done.” He said and you just shook your head. Alexa put her hands on his biceps and got all up and close. 

“It’s only been a week. A week too long. Ditch this tramp and come back to my place with me.” She said trying her hardest to work. Kelly didn’t say anything.

“I can’t believe I actually fell for this. I should’ve known better. You’re just as bad as my ex, you were hooking up with her when you were talking and trying to go out with me. You know what? I’m so done. Never talk to me again, Severide.” You said and he cringed and started to panic. You only called him Severide while at work all the other times it had been Kelly. You pushed past them and started to walk away. You heard some talking and the fact he wasn’t running after you right now broke your heart and tears fell. “I was so stupid.” You told yourself you were almost home when you heard your name.

“Y/N, please stop.” Kelly said and you did but didn’t turn around. “I haven’t talked to that girl in months and when you came into the house all communication stopped. You have to believe me. She was lying.” He said and you shook your head and turned around and when he saw the tear tracks running down it broke him. 

“I can’t. I’m sorry. How do I know she’s not lying?” You asked and he hesitated and you let out a watery chuckle. “Do me a favor and lose my number. The only time I will speak to you is at work but that’s it.” You said and walked the rest of the way to your home leaving him standing there. You shut the door and slid down it and sat there and sobbed. 

Kelly was distraught. Since you had come into the house, he hadn’t hooked up with anyone, he wanted you and only you. You made his days better and his drinking had cut down tremendously. He just hoped that he could talk to you and let you know that but right now you weren’t listening to him. He immediately pulled out his phone and sent a couple of text messages to you and called you but the messages went unanswered and the calls went straight to voicemail. 

——————————————————————

When it came time for you to go back to work you were dreading it. You didn’t want to see him at all. You told him all about your ex and how awful men were to you. When you had arrived at the station the only spot available was by Kelly’s car and you sighed but parked next to it. You killed the engine and got out and walked into the nearly silent station. You walked into the locker room and got changed and then you were heading to find everyone else. As you were searching for anyone, Kelly rounded the corner and you stopped and so he did. He looked like hell. He had bags under his eyes and his eyes weren’t as bright. “Y/N.” He said your name with a breathless whisper but you just shook your head and walked away.  

Each time he tried to talk to you, you would just back away or make up an excuse that you had something to do and leave. You felt bad for doing so but he did break your heart and most importantly your trust. You still love him but you had built walls up and they weren’t going to come down anytime soon. You had to put up with him for 3 days while you worked and it was gonna be difficult but you were going to pull through no matter what. 

Over the next few days, you avoided him like the plague and each time he tried to corner you and tried to explain the bell had rung each time saving you. You honestly didn’t know if you were going to give him another chance or not. Everyone had settled into the kitchen while Squad 3 was out on a call. While you were there, they got to talking about anything but the subject of Kelly had come up. “Gosh Kelly has become so irritable in the last few days. He’s even more grumpier and pretty much has gone back to his old ways.” Stella said and then she turned to you. “How was the date?” She asked.

“It was great and he was a gentleman. Afterwards we went to a little park near my house and as we were talking some girl came up named Alexa. She said that they hadn’t hooked up in weeks. She started touching him and he didn’t even try to stop her. He knew my history with men and how I was cheated on.” You said and everyone was quiet. 

“You know he has certainly changed since you came here. He started to become happy and friendly. His attitude has changed drastically.” Sylvie said and everyone nodded in agreement. 

“You’ve changed him for the better.” Gabriela said and you just sat there quietly taking it all in. 

“This Alexa girl he hasn’t talked to in months, almost close to a year.” Casey said and you looked up surprised.

“So, he was telling the truth?” You asked and they all nodded and now you felt bad for not giving him the time of day to actually explain. 

“He was. He is so in love with you that it is almost sickening.” Herrmann said, you thought about it and then the bells were ringing and Ambulance 61 and Truck 81 was being called out. As you were walking to the ambulance, the Squad 3 truck was pulling into the station. As Kelly got out you both made eye contact with each other but you had gotten in and shut the doors and you were off.

——————————————————————

When you got off shift you had debated on going straight home but you needed to see Kelly. You walked out to your car and noticed that he was already gone and you sighed. You got into your car and started the engine and headed over to his apartment. You knew where it was because you had been over there several times just to hang out and that was the first time you had admitted to yourself that you were absolutely in love with him. 

You pulled into a space and parked and killed the engine. You started your way into the building and walked to the elevator and pressed the button and it immediately opened. You got in and then pressed the button for his floor. You waited anxiously for it to arrive at his floor and when it did you knew there was no going back. You got off and walked to his door and knocked. There was no answer. You debated on going back home or not but didn’t get a chance to turn around because the door was opening and it was revealing Kelly with a towel wrapped around his waist and his hair was wet. “Y/N?” He asked and you couldn’t think of anything to say as you looked him up and down. 

After a few minutes you finally had enough and no words were coming to you so you just smashed your lips onto his and he returned it. He was so surprised that it had pushed him back but he had grabbed your waist and pulled you inside and shut the door. He pushed you up against the door and the heavy make out session continued. You finally pulled apart when air was needed and you could feel his erection from underneath the towel. “I’m sorry. I believe you and should’ve let you explain.” You said and he shook his head.

“That doesn’t matter right now. Jump.” He said and you did so and then he was back to kissing you, hard. He walked his way to his bedroom and gently laid you down. You broke the kiss and pulled the towel off and your mouth watered at the sight, he was huge and you loved it. “You like what you see?” He asked and you nodded.

“Very much so, but I’m wearing too many clothes.” You said and he chuckled and then started to slowly undress you while caressing every part of your body and kissing it. Soon you were completely naked and showing all of you to him. 

“You’re absolutely beautiful.” He said and you blushed. He laid down on the bed and gently spread your legs and dove in. When his mouth met your hot core, you moaned and grabbed onto his head and pushed him more into you.

“Kelly.” You moaned out and he smirked, he circled your clit and then he pushed a finger into and you were throwing your head back. He thrusted into you and then added a second finger “Oh my gosh.” You moaned out that the rubber band feeling was starting to get tight and you were close. “I want to come on your cock.” You moaned out and he nodded and licked one more broad stripe up you before he was lifting his head and pulling out his fingers. He crawled up to you and kissed you, you tasted yourself on him. 

“You ready, Baby?” He asked while pumping himself twice and you nodded.

“I need you inside me.” You said and he nodded and positioned himself at your entrance and he pushed in. You both moaned together as he did so.

“You’re so tight.” He said and when he bottomed out you felt so full and he stretched you in all the right places. He stayed still for a minute letting you adjust.

“Move.” You moaned out and he nodded and started to gently thrust into you. Your hands went to his back and your fingers dug into his shoulder blades.

“You’re perfect.” He said and started to thrust faster making you moan louder.

“Right there.” You said as he hit your g-spot. “Oh my gosh, I love you.” You moaned out and that just made him go faster.

“I love you too, Baby. You’re the only one for me.” He said and dipped his head down into your neck and sucked on it. He gently bit it and that you were clenching around him. 

“I’m close.” He said and you moaned out.

“Me too. I want you to cum in me.” You moaned out and that just seemed to make him go faster. 

Kelly’s thrust was becoming sloppy and you knew he was close. Your fingernails bit into him making him hiss. He reached a hand down to your clit and started to rub vigorously which helped you get closer. “Cum with me.” He moaned out and then he was bending down, taking one of your nipples into his mouth and sucking on it. When he gently bit it is when you came and you clenched around him which made him cum. You both came while calling out each other’s names. You both were coming down from your highs when he pulled slowly out of you and laid next to you. You both panted out of breath but a smile was on both of your faces. “I wasn’t lying when I said you’re the only one for me.” He said and you turned to look at him.

“I know. Everyone talked to me. I’m sorry for not letting you explain.” You said and he smiled at you.

“It’s ok. I’m just glad we’re here with each other now.” He said and you nodded “I love you.” He said and you smiled.

“I love you too.” You replied

“Will you be my girlfriend?” He asked and you sat up leaning on an elbow.

“Yes. I would love to.” You said and he smiled and he leaned over and kissed you.  You were his and he was yours and that is all that mattered. Nothing was going to change that not now or ever. 

Tag list:

@kmc1989

@els-marvelvsp

@atarmychick007

@nyx2021

@grandstrangerphantom

@angenu01-blog

@talesofreading

[sylkiddsey]

Prompt: “I could’ve helped.”

Set in season 12

She’s frozen.

She’s actually physically stuck in front of the tv in the common room. Stella or Violet is behind her, bracing her shoulders.

She can’t move. She can’t think. Her heart is free falling in her damn chest. The tv is broadcasting a breaking news story about a recent shooting.

A shooting in Portland at a firehouse. The firehouse Matt works at. The station her fiancé went to this morning for one of his last shifts.

The one where the reporter has announced multiple injuries on site. The one a gang member walked into and fired shots.

“Brett.”

The voice is muffled by her internal panic but then Severide is kneeling next to her. He looks worried but also confident. “I’m sure he’s okay. He probably wasn’t involved.”

It’s the probably that is tearing her soul. She can’t help but think about the last firehouse shooting at 51. She witnessed him take a bullet, but it was different then. They were friends. They hadn’t fallen in love yet.

Now, she’s the most in love with him (and anyone) she’s ever been. Now he’s the man she’s marrying and building a family with.

She’s white knuckling her phone, willing for Matt to call her back. The second Kidd flagged her down when she got back, Sylvie called him. She called him once, twice, three times and a few dozen after that.

He won’t answer.

“I…this isn’t real,” she whispers, tears filming her eyes. She looks at Severide, then behind her at Stella and the rest of 51. “Right? Tell me this isn’t happening.”

Obviously, no one can.

She doesn’t know if he’s okay. She doesn’t even know if he’s alive. Her head is spinning, and her heart physically hurts.

Mouch places a hand on her back from his spot beside her on the couch. His reading glasses are perched on the edge of his nose as he scrolls on an iPad. “I’m going to find you flight, okay? Just in case.”

Oh god, this isn’t happening. She’s going to pass out.

Severide squeezes her knee. “Boden is making calls. He’ll find something out. It’s going to be fine.”

She appreciates his comfort, but he doesn’t know that. Her voice shakes when she speaks. “Severide, I can’t…”

Lose him.

He nods. “I’m sure he’s fine.”

She’s about to point out the facts but then her phone vibrates in her hand. She almost breaks her neck checking the ID.

She springs from the couch and instantly answers, pushing her way past 51 towards the kitchen. “Matt.”

She hopes it is him and not someone calling from his phone to deliver the worst news possible.

“Hey, I’m okay.”

The sound of his voice breaks her resolve. She lets out a sob and covers her mouth. Her relief, however, worries all of 51. Severide looks panicked from her reaction.

She gives them all a thumbs up to communicate he’s fine. All of 51 looks relieved too.

She’s probably going to be a wreck over this phone, so she wants privacy. She exits the common room and heads towards the locker area.

“Oh my god,” she cries. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” he assures. “I’m sorry. I just got my phone. I would’ve called you sooner.”

She’s just glad he’s calling now. She sits on the floor against her locker. “I’m just so relieved you’re alive. I…I can’t even imagine what I would do if…”

“Hey, don’t go there,” he whispers. “I’m perfectly okay.” He pauses for a second. “Well, more or less.”

Now that she thinks about it, she has heard a lot of voices in the background. It doesn’t sound like he’s home.

“Are you in the hospital?”

He hesitates which gives away the answer.

“Baby, what happened? How bad is it? How could you not lead with that? What hospital?”

He chuckles. “It’s nothing. It’s just a graze.”

What does that mean? What kind of graze?

“Did you get shot?!”

“No, not technically,” he says. “I was grazed by a bullet. I’m fine.”

She’s equally terrified and furious. Matt downplays his injuries. She has no idea what he’d define as a graze.

“You’re not fine. You were shot. Where? Has a doctor seen you yet? Have they disinfected the wound?”

“Honey.” His voice is full of fondness. “I’m okay. A bullet grazed my arm. I barely lost any blood and I needed only a few stitches. Now I’m just waiting for discharge papers. I swear to you, miss paramedic, I’m fine.”

She has a hard time believing that but she’s going to try for her own sanity. “Okay. Okay, you’re fine. How is everyone else?”

He sighs. “Everyone is going to make it. The guy who fired the gun definitely isn’t though. We’re all okay for the most part.”

That’s a relief. She’s gotten to know the people he worked with while in Portland. She likes everyone there.

“I wish I could’ve been there,” she whispers, shutting her eyes. A tear rolls down her cheek.

“I don’t. Sylvie, I don’t want you anywhere near that. I’m just glad you’re safe in Chicago,” he replies. “Plus, there isn’t anything you could’ve done.”

She’d argue that.

“I could’ve helped. I’m a paramedic and you’re, you know, my man. I could’ve taken care of you.”

He laughs. “Your man, huh?”

Sylvie grins. “Yes.” She glances down at her engagement ring and blinks back tears. “I just…I really thought I lost you, Matt.”

“Hey, that’s never going to happen,” he replies. “Do you really think I’d let a little bullet get in the way of making you my wife after all these years?”

She smiles because she knows he’s right. He’d fight like hell to come home to her but that doesn’t mean terrible things can’t happen.

“I love you so much,” she says. “And if you were here right now, I’d kill you for doing this to me and Severide.”

“Well good thing I’m in Portland then. I know what you’re capable of and it’s scary as hell.”

He’s such a dork.

“Hey, I love you so much too, baby,” Matt says. “And I’m genuinely sorry I scared you. I’ll make it up to you when I’m back in Chicago.”

She’ll hold him to that.

[alittlextrathatway]

Line: "I close my eyes and the flashback starts." Location: hospital

This is not how Matt envisioned spending his first day home. He truly believed the worst was over now that he was back on Chicago’s hallowed ground. He and Sylvie made it through. They were together again and planning a life together. What could go wrong?

Everything. The answer is everything.

In all his time working for the CFD, he had never once heard of a bomb being mailed to anyone. But especially not a firehouse.

And now Sylvie is in the ER. He wasn’t at 51, he didn’t watch it happen, but he got a call from Stella afterward. She wasn’t sure of Sylvie’s condition. The scene was chaotic, she never saw her, but she knows she was loaded into an ambo and driven away.

Fear squeezes his heart like a vice. The waiting area is full of first responders, already wanting to know how to support 51. Thankfully, the bomb didn’t go off inside the firehouse or this could have been a lot worse. It’s all the comfort he can manage until he sets his eyes on Sylvie.

He storms through the waiting area and passes the double doors into the ED. Everyone else may be waiting patiently but he isn’t. His fiancée is through those doors. The mother of their newly adopted daughter is in danger. He’d take a sledge to the hospital wall to get to her if he had to. There’s no stopping him.

Maggie must have predicted he would barge in as he pleased because she’s waiting for him in front of the nurse’s station.

“Kidd said Sylvie’s—“

“She’s fine, Casey. She’s okay.”

“No offense, Maggie, but I’d like to judge that for myself.”

She points behind him to Trauma 3 and Matt hurriedly spins around. The flashback hits him with as much force as a halligan to the head. It takes him back to that day, years ago now, where she fell through the floor. The day he had to watch her cry through tears of physical pain. The day they lost Otis.

Because sitting on the hospital bed, feet dangling over the edge, is Sylvie. Her arm in a sling, her face covered in dust, and tears in her eyes. She looks small and scared but whole. Blessedly whole.

“Thank god,” Matt mutters, taking a deep breath as he steps into the small room.

“Matt!” Sylvie exclaims, throwing her good arm around him.

“Hey,” he says, pulling her as close as he can without jostling her arm. The same arm she broke in the Arnow collapse. “I’m here.” He leans back and frames her face with his hands, thumbs swiping at tracks of tears on her cheeks. “Are you okay? What happened?”

“That poor delivery driver,” she says, with a shaky inhale. She pauses to exhale, willing herself to calm down. “I don’t think it was supposed to happen that way, Matt. He picked up the package and turned to face the house and then…all of a sudden I was thrown into the back of the open ambo. My elbow slammed into the stretcher and now I’m here. God, it happened so fast I don’t even know if — oh god, how’s everyone else? Do you know? Have you talked to anyone?”

He closes his eyes, imagining all the ways today could have cost him everything, and then forces the images away. Right now, Sylvie needs him and panicking over how close he came to a life without her won’t help. He kisses her grimey forehead and then presses his against her temple, pressing her to his side.

“Just Stella. She didn’t know much either. The scene at 51 is chaos and she’s working with Boden to try and get a head count.”

Sylvie rubs her good hand across her forehead as she takes in the only new information he has. “Well,” she says meeting his eyes with a loud sniffle. “Welcome home, I guess. Some first day, huh?”

“Any day you’re with me is better than most,” he assures her. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” she replies, relaxing into his arms. “God, I’m glad you’re here. I don’t know if I could handle this without you.”

He’s glad he’s here too. He can’t imagine hearing about this from the other side of the country. Now, more than ever, he’s glad he came to his senses and proposed. From here on out, they’ll never have to deal with a crisis like this alone again. They’ll always figure it out. Together.

***

This is kinda based on some things I’ve seen and heard about 12x01 filming. As usual, I’m probably wrong lol.

Send me a Taylor Swift or Kelsea Ballerini lyric and location to my ask box! I’ll write you a Brettsey fic too! 💗

[sailingfireshipz]

Ooooooh, you're beautiful mind! It's happening

y’all here me out for a second. in the infection crossover we got kelly telling stella that he’d go in bed with stella, their kids, and grandkids surrounding him. what if in this crossover we get stella telling kelly she’s ready for kids

[study-coffee-chicago]

Trifecta from Hell (A Halstead Brothers + Halstead Sister Imagine)

A/N: I’m finally posting this here because I got my laptop back! And, it’s unedited because at the time I posted it on Wattpad, my laptop was still being fixed and I hate writing/editing on my phone.

Anyway, sorry it's taken me so long to update! I haven't been watching PD since Jay left, so I didn't really have any ideas for a bit!

But, I have some now and have an idea for a fluffy Thanksgiving and Christmas imagine, so keep an eye out for that in the coming weeks!

Anyway, please remember to reblog and comment!

Enjoy!

Today had been fine...at least it had been until you got out of work and were stopped by one of your coworkers practically screaming at you. And, this wasn't where you typically worked, they were just really short staffed, so you were constantly pulled over here. But, you didn't have access to things that their normal staff did—you worked in mental health, so the most important thing you needed access to were updates on clients...which you didn't since you weren't this places full time staff—and since you were here so much, they were starting to think of you as their normal staff.

But, without access to everything, mistakes were bound to be made and you were the one getting blamed.

And this was what you had ranted to Jay about on your way home.

You were still crying after you hung up the phone and knew you were on the verge of a panic attack. But, you were on the highway and you couldn't easily just pull over.

So, you used a coping skill that you hadn't used since middle school: you dug your fingernails into the skin on the inner part of your wrist. Hard.

You removed your right hand from your left wrist—your left hand still being the one holding the steering wheel during this—and put it wheel and once again drove with both hands. But, you kept crying. So, you continued the process until you were just short of making your wrist bleed.

***

When you got home, you told Jay about your wrist and assured him you hadn't cut yourself, just dug your nails into your skin. And then, well, you broke down.

"Everyone fucking leaves!" you yelled. "What's the point of being here anymore? All I do is work! I have no friends, except for like two, Emma texted and told me she didn't want to be friends anymore! Everyone fucking leaves, Jay! And—" Your voice cracked. "Maybe it's me! Maybe I'm the fucking problem! Maybe it would be better if I was dead!"

Jay stood up. "You know you don't mean that. And, all the stuff with Emma, something else had to have been going on. You just have to get out more, make some friends. The pandemic definitely hasn't helped because you didn't get a full college experience, but—"

"What's the point, Jay? If everyone just leaves, why am I wasting my fucking time? I don't wanna be here anymore!" you cried as hot tears rolled down your face.

Jay opened his arms. "C'mere."

"No." You turned. "I'm going to bed."

Hopefully I won't wake up you thought to yourself.

"Y/N—"

"I said I'm going to bed!" you yelled and grabbed your backpack and made your way to your room.

Then, you cried yourself to sleep.

***

That was how you found yourself sitting next to Jay in his truck as he drove to the district the next morning.

"I'm 22, Jay. Just let me stay home," you pleaded for the billionth time that morning.

"After yesterday, me and Will feel it's safer if you're not by yourself."

"C'mon, I'm not gonna kill myself," you told him.

"After yesterday, well, me and Will aren't so sure."

"I just wanna sleep."

"And you can," Jay told you. "On the couch in the break room."

"Ugh." You leaned your head back in your seat in frustration.

When you pulled into the district, you figured it was better for you to walk inside because right now, you wouldn't put it past Jay to physically force you out of the truck and carry you inside.

"Chuckles Jr," Trudy said from the desk as she put the phone back in her cradle when you and Jay entered. "What brings you here?"

"I'm here against my will," you told her and Jay just rolled his eyes.

"She's here because it's safer for her," Jay said.

At this, Trudy's eyes widened. "Safer how? What's going on Halstead? You know between me and your sergeant upstairs, we have eyes everywhere."

"It's nothing like that," Jay said, assuming Trudy meant that an old case or collar was coming back to bite him in the ass. "She's just got some personal stuff going on, so I brought her here to keep an eye on her." And with that, Jay started walking towards the stairs, and you started following, still sulking.

"Sensitive case, Halstead. Y/N can't be up there. Intelligence and yours truly only," Trudy said, causing Jay to turn and look at her and you to throw your head back in frustration.

"Sarge, can you watch her for the day?" Jay asked.

"She's an adult, Halstead. Can't she look after herself?" Trudy asked, throwing him some of her signature sass.

"Thank you!" you said and pointed a hand towards Trudy. Finally, someone was on your side. It was like a breath of fresh air after arguing with Jay all morning.

"Can I talk to you?" Jay asked Trudy. He looked around at all the officers milling about. "Privately?" She nodded and the two moved to the door of the office. Jay gave you a pointed look and nodded to the bench before him. "You move from this bench, I will put you on a psych hold."

You went and sat down on the bench and Jay heard you mutter something about how fear tactics don't help in these kinds of situations, but, for once, he figured it was best to ignore you.

***

Ten minutes later, Trudy and your brother came out of the office.

"C'mon, kiddo. I'm bringing you to 51. Figured it would be much more fun for you to hang out with them than to sit behind that desk with me all day."

"Lucky me," you replied sarcastically.

"Hey, watch the--"

"Halstead, go upstairs and do your job. I'll take it from here," Trudy said, effectively cutting him off.

"Don't do anything stupid, Y/N," he told you. You huffed and rolled your eyes and then he shook his and turned around and jogged upstairs and into Intelligence.

"Ever ridden in a patrol car?" Trudy asked. You shook your head. "Then today's your lucky day because me and you are gonna go grab the best on from the CPD lot and we might even stop for donuts, give you the full beat cop experience."

"Lucky me," you said sarcastically and shrugged.

Trudy just looked at you and pursed her lips, trying to figure out what had you so down.

***

"Listen kid," Trudy said when the two of you got back in the patrol car with a box of two dozen donuts and coffee for you and her. "I'm not giving you a donut until you tell me your side of the story. I've heard your brother's, but I wanna hear yours. What happened at work that made you feel this way?"

You sighed. "It's not just work. It's everything."

"Work was just the tip of the iceberg then, huh?"

"Yeah," you said feeling yourself get choked up. "It's just- everyone leaves, so what's the point of trying to make friends, you know?"

"Kid, when you're as old I am, I can tell you one thing, if people aren't meant to stay in your life, they won't. But, maybe try hanging out with Ritter and Gallo and Violet at 51. They're close to your age, right?"

"A few years older," you answered. "They'll probably just look at me like Jay's little sister like everyone in Intelligence does."

"Hey, you'll never know unless you try."

"I guess," you shrugged. "Can I have a donut now?"

***

When you walked into the firehouse, you appeared fine, maybe a little sad, but fine nonetheless.

But, when you saw the number of firefighters in the common room, you started to become hyper aware of your surroundings and your breath caught in your throat.

"Hey, mini Halstead!" Kelly exclaimed from where he was grabbing breakfast. "What brings you here? C'mon, come get some breakfast, kid!"

You just looked him and then quickly shook your head.

"Gotta go to the bathroom," you said quickly and then turned around and calmly walked out of the common room and then speed walked down the hallway and into the bathrooms.

You could do this...there weren't that many people...there were, what? Four on squad, two paramedics, which made six. Then there was Chief Boden which made seven. Then there was Stella, which made eight...then there was—

Fuck! Who were you kidding? This was way too many people! And Jay thought this was a good idea?

You rested your head against the bathroom stall that you had locked yourself in and then pulled out your phone and sent a text to Jay with shaking hands.

There's too many people here. I hate you

He responded within thirty seconds.

Love you, too. Just making sure you're safe.

If your phone was indestructible, you would've thrown it on the ground.

You pocketed your phone and leaned your head back on the stall door.

Fuck.

This was going to be a long day.

***

You didn't know how much time had passed, but it hadn't been a lot, probably only five or ten minutes, when you heard footsteps coming towards the stall you were currently standing in.

"Y/N? It's just me," you heard Stella say. "Trudy told me, Kelly, and Boden what's going on. Can you please come out?" You didn't. "Can you at least say something? So I know you're okay?"

You sighed as frustration bubbled up in your body. That's what they all wanted to know: that you were okay, that you were safe.

You flung the door open. "I'm okay! I'm alive, aren't I? That's all you guys want, isn't it? Just to make sure I'm alive even though I'm fucking miserable?!"

Stella quickly backtracked and slammed the door to the bathrooms closed and then stood in front of it, effectively blocking your path to get out of here.

"Hey, I know feelings are something you Halsteads have a hard time expressing--at least your brothers do--, but I know you're hiding something under all that anger, Y/N," Stella said gently but firmly.

"You- you do?" You definitely weren't expecting that.

"I do. Now, I'll stay here while you calm down, and then how about we go kick Kelly out of his office so that I can braid your hair? Does that sound okay?"

"Really?" you asked. "Don't you have Lieutenant stuff to do?"

Stella waved her hand. "That stuff can wait a few hours. Plus, I'm still waiting on my office to get finished, so I can always use that as an excuse if I need to. Now, take some deep breaths, splash some water on your face, and I am going to give you the best damn braids in the whole CFD."

***

"You wanna tell me what's going on?" Stella asked when she was halfway through braiding your hair. The feeling of her fingers in your hair made you relax. It reminded you of when Erin used to do your hair for school picture day when you still didn't know your way around a straightener yet.

"I dunno," you answered truthfully.

"You don't know if you wanna tell me or you don't know what's going on?" Stella asked as she continued braiding.

"A little bit of both, I guess."

"Anything I can do to help?"

"Doubt it. Unless you can make some friends for me appear out of thin air."

"You'd be surprised at what I can do, Y/N."

***

"Violet!" Stella yelled fifteen minutes later when she told you she needed to go dig some more hair ties out of her locker...which was a lie.

"Yeah?" Violet asked and looked up from where she and Brett were watching an episode of House Hunters: International on her phone.

"Do you and Brett mind making a supply run to Med or something in like half an hour? It's just that when I was braiding Y/N's hair, she said something about wanting more friends. And, I figured going on an ambulance ride with you two would be more friendly that taking her in one of the trucks, so—"

"We'll take her," Sylvie chimed in. "Maybe even stop for some food on the way back. Everyone needs a friend once in awhile."

"As long as the place has better coffee than here," Violet said.

"Thanks, you guys. You're the best."

Stella started to walk off to go finish your hair, when Gallo and Ritter turned around from where they were making sandwiches at the counter.

"Everything okay with Y/N? Anything we can do to help?" Ritter asked.

"I think she just needs some friends," Stella said.

"Well, lucky for her, me and Ritter are some of the friendliest people you know," Gallo chimed in, causing Ritter to roll his eyes.

"What he means is, we'll figure something out. We all know how it feels go be lonely sometimes."

"Just don't do anything too crazy," Stella warned. "I'm looking at you, Gallo."

Then, Stella left the common room and went to her locker to retrieve some more hair ties and then went back into Severide's office to finish braiding your hair.

***

"Want some coffee?" Gallo asked when you walked back into the common room after Stella braided your hair.

"Gallo, this stuff tastes like tar. Nobody likes this. Don't poison the poor girl!" Ritter exclaimed, which caused a ghost of a smile to appear on your lips. But, it disappeared as quickly as it came.

"Well, lucky for her, we are going to grab some supplies from Med and she is just the person we want for a ride along," Violet said cheerfully.

"And we're stopping for food and coffee on the way back," Brett said. "61 is officially out of service for the next two hours."

"You really want me to go?" you asked. "Because I get carsick easily."

Brett waved her hand in dismissal. "We won't be turning on any lights and sirens...and we'll make Violet sit in the back."

"Rude!" Violet exclaimed. "But, let's get going. We're only out of service for a couple hours."

When you left the paramedics, Gallo turned to Ritter.

"I have the perfect idea," he said.

"Oh, no," Ritter groaned.

"What oh no? My ideas are great, thank you very much."

"Yeah? Says who?" Gallo said nothing. "My point exactly."

"Do you want to hear my idea or not?"

"Fine. What's your idea, Gallo?"

"Instead of going to Molly's tomorrow night, maybe you, me, and Violet can meet up at my apartment and drink and play some poker or something? And we can invite Y/N? I just know that when that guy jumped off that ledge when I thought I had a save, that I needed some friends. Sounds like she does, too."

Ritter smiled. "That's actually a great idea, Gallo."

***

A few hours later

It was around 7pm and everyone had gone out on a call. You were just sitting in the common room on the couch reading.

Then, you went to the bathroom and planned on coming straight back to the couch and your book, but your body had other plans.

You looked down and immediately relief washed over you.

You had gotten your period.

Sure, you had been diagnosed with depression and it was the beginning of winter in Chicago, which meant some seasonal depression sprinkled in there, but now you had a reason. An in-your-face reason that you were feeling this way: you had been PMS-ing.

You made your way out of the bathroom to grab a pad or tampon that you had thrown in your bag for emergencies and then went back in the bathroom and finished up.

When you came back out, you saw that 81 was back from the call.

"Pssst, Stella," you hissed.

She turned and walked over to you. "What's up?"

"Do you by any chance have some tampons?" you whispered.

"I do. Follow me."

***

Jay picked you up half an hour later.

"Have fun?" he asked.

"A bit," you answered. "Me and Sylvie and Violet went and got lunch and coffee. We went to this really good sandwich place."

Jay smiled. "Good. I'm glad you're doing better."

"Yeah, I got my period so it all makes sense now."

Jay had learned long ago that you did not care if he and Will knew you were on your period. And, while Jay was weirded out by it at first, he quickly realized that he couldn't be because he was the one responsible for buying you pads and tampons.

"Do we need to stop at the store?" Jay asked.

"No. But it all makes sense now! That's why I was depressed. Or it was the trifecta from hell."

"The what from hell?" Jay asked.

"Trifecta," you answered. "Clinical depression, seasonal depression, and PMS all at once."

Jay laughed. "Guess so."

"It helps when I have a reason for it. Don't know why, but it helps."

Jay nodded. "You're not too tired, are you?"

You shook your head. "No...why?"

Jay smiled. "You'll see."

"What is it?" you asked excitedly.

"You'll see when we get home."

"Jay," you whined. "C'mon! At least give me a hint!"

"You used to do this in school."

You furrowed your eyebrows. "What? That doesn't make any sense!"

"Exactly."

***

"So, what are we doing?" you asked as you got up to the door of your apartment. Jay knocked on the door. "It's your apartment! Why are you—"

"All set up in there?" Jay yelled.

"All set!" Hailey yelled back.

"All set with what?" you asked.

"You'll see when I open the door," Jay told you. "Patience, young grasshopper."

You rolled you eyes as Jay unlocked the door and followed him in.

Inside, the lights were dimmed and there were were four mugs on the bar and also four wine glasses next to a bottle of wine.

On the kitchen table was a spread of your favorite snacks including Oreos, Tim Tams, and Goldfish. There was also a tin of tamales with all the toppings with all the fixings and chips and homemade salsa from Mama Garcia's.

Then, in the living area, there were books stacked on the coffee table and blankets laid out on the couch and even a few pillows on the floor.

There was a pumpkin scented candle sitting on one of the end tables.

Finally, propped up against the TV, sat a mini white board reading Reading Day 2022.

You broke out into a giant smile. "How did you guys even come up with this?"

"Me and Will remembered you'd get so excited when you'd have that one reading day in March in elementary school when you'd just read and eat snacks all day, so we figured we'd recreate it," he answered.

"And we made the adult version," Will added. "Which is why there's wine...and I may or may not have put some Bailey's in the hot chocolate."

"Will!" Jay exclaimed.

Will put up his hands in a sign of surrender. "In my defense, I was unsupervised."

"Y/N, if you want hot chocolate without the alcohol, I'll make you some," Jay said.

"Nah, I think I'll take the spiked version," you answered.

"And, I brought over some books that were on your TBR that I grabbed from the library," Hailey added.

"Wait," you began as you furrowed your eyebrows, trying to put the pieces together. "I thought all three of you were at work?"

"I worked an eight hour shift instead of a twelve today," Will explained. "That was planned anyway since we're short staffed."

You nodded. "And, what about you two?" you asked and looked towards Jay and Hailey. "I thought you had a super sensitive case or something?"

"Turns out criminals are really stupid," Jay answered.

"We caught the guy at like three in the afternoon," Hailey explained. "And Voight said we could just do the paperwork tomorrow so Jay started thinking—"

"Oh no!" Will said dramatically and threw himself down on the couch. "He's gotta be so tired from thinking!"

Jay scrunched up his face and quickly flipped Will off, hoping that you wouldn't notice, but you had.

"Anyway," Hailey continued, annoying Will's antics even though everyone could see how she smiled when Will made that joke...she just didn't feel like laughing at her boyfriend. She figured three against one wasn't the fairest ratio. "Jay said he had this idea and told me about it, so I said I'd go on your TBR on Goodreads and try and find some books for you and that we'd need two cars so I could get the food while he picked you up."

"And then Jay called me and told me I was in charge of the alcohol," Will said.

Jay gave him a pointed look. "He really wasn't," Jay said. "He just put himself in charge of it."

You hadn't stopped smiling throughout the entire explanation of how this all came together. "Either way, thank you guys. So much."

"Pick a book and I'll grab you some food," Jay said.

"Everything on the tamales. Cheese, sour cream, sal—"

"I know what you like, Y/N. But, wine or the spiked hot chocolate?"

"I'll start with wine," you answered and the wandered over to go pick out on of the many books Hailey had brought over.

For the rest of the night, you, your brothers, and Hailey read books and ate good food and drank. The four of you also may or may not have built a blanket fort. And, you may or may not have cried when Violet texted you and asked if you wanted to meet up with her, Gallo, and Ritter tomorrow night and play poker. And, when you said you didn't know how, she said that they'd teach you.

This is what it felt like: to have people in your corner. And, even though Jay was being dramatic and overprotective when he made you go to 51 earlier to have people keep an eye on you, you knew it was just because he and Will cared about you so much that they couldn't bear to lose you.

And they wouldn't lose you. They had proven that they'd make damn sure of that.

A/N: Thank you for reading and don't forget to vote and comment!

taglist:  @theambracer88 @virtualreader @kelelas-life @celyndavies @brookerz122493 @musicismyescape27 @anotherfan07 @thexplosivegirl @dreamingwithlens @xoxmariaxox @911ls-tarlos @iamasimpingh0e @i-like-sparkly-things @herecomesthewriterwitch @liampayne88 @glitterquadricorn @luvreading67 @smoothdogsgirl @afriendlyneighborhoodhufflepuff @actlikesummerr @lcothr523 @star-wars-lover

[leslieseveride]

oh, i thought stella's star "girls on fire" recruit took that training manual from stella for some diabolical scheme, whoops. 😅

[sailingfireshipz]

The way he just was giving the most adorable smile while simultaneously giving her the biggest heart eyes as she told that story 🫠🫠

https://www.tumblr.com/sailingshipz09/763471877413945344/that-still-do-from-stella-was-sooooo-laced?source=share

Omg can we imagine this scene paralleled. They're at Mollys for a 51 event or gathering the conversation of engagement or marriage comes up, Cruz & Hermann tell their stories about how they got proposed. Ritter, Violet & Novack are sitting there listening & one of them asks Severide how he proposed to Kidd. Of course, Kelly being Kelly, he just looks at Stella & smiles. Stella starts to tell the tale & the entire time she's telling the story, they're just giving each other the heart eyes!! At the end of it, she gestures her head towards the door so they can get out of there & go home with each other...