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[logansargeantsbabymom]

None Of This Is Your Fault.

Brian "Otis" Zvonecek x Fem!Firefighter!Reader

A/N: Sorry that I've been so inactive, I know this is no excuse but I school started and my job is starting to get into it's busy season and to my luck I managed to tear my meniscus and I've been in so much pain so writing has been the least of my concerns. I am getting surgery on Thursday so I will be writing more soon. For now, please enjoy my new fic.

This is a 20 chapter story and I've put 10 chapters in one fic. It's a lot but this is my apology for being inactive.

Chapter 1:

Five years. That’s how long I’ve been with Brian. It feels like a lifetime and just a blink at the same time. We met in the most unconventional of ways—running into each other during a late-night call, both of us soaked in sweat, soot smeared across our faces, the smell of smoke thick in the air. It wasn’t the most romantic setting, but maybe that’s why it worked. There was no need for pretenses between us. We were both drawn to the fire, the adrenaline, the chaotic beauty of our work. And somehow, through the chaos, I found him.

Brian “Otis” Zvonecek—my partner in every sense of the word. He’s not the guy who sweeps you off your feet with grand gestures or sweet talk. No, Brian is the guy who shows up every single day. He’s steady. Kind. Funny in the way that only he can be, with those ridiculous puns and the way his face lights up when he thinks he’s landed a good one. It’s impossible not to laugh when he’s around, and God, that’s what I love most about him—he makes everything lighter, even when the world feels heavy.

But these days, the world is feeling a little heavier than usual.

We’ve both been working nonstop—Firehouse 51 is like a second home, though lately, it feels more like a first. There’s something comforting about the firehouse, the constant hum of activity, the sound of the trucks rumbling to life, the distant chatter of my crew—no, my family. And Brian? He’s always been at the center of it all. Our relationship bloomed in this place, surrounded by the people who understand what we go through every day.

I remember the early days with him so clearly. It started as a few casual glances across the engine bay, nothing serious at first. Just an awareness of him. His laugh was what caught me. The way he threw his head back, completely unguarded, while the rest of us were tense and wired after a tough call. He had this way of letting it all roll off his back, and I admired that.

It wasn’t long before we were partnered on every shift, making excuses to grab dinner after. One night, after a particularly tough rescue, he suggested we go for wings. I was exhausted, drained, and covered in soot, but something in his voice made me agree. I needed that—something normal, something grounding. We sat in that little corner booth, devouring spicy wings, laughing about the ridiculousness of our lives. It was simple, but it was the first time I felt like I had found something real. Something worth holding onto.

That’s how we’ve always been—just us, grounded in the simplicity of being together. No grand romantic gestures, no pressure to be anything other than who we are.

And for five years, it worked. I always felt secure with Brian. Sure, we’ve had our share of arguments—what couple doesn’t?—but they were always small, petty things. We’d bicker about who forgot to fill the gas tank or who left the towels on the floor, but those disagreements never lasted long. We were always able to laugh it off, make a joke, and move forward.

Lately, though, I’ve been different. Not us—me. I feel it deep inside, like there’s something pulling me away, pulling us apart. I don’t know why, but these past few months, things that shouldn’t bother me do. Things that used to make me laugh now irritate me. And sometimes, when the irritation boils over, I lose control in a way I never have before.

Brian doesn’t say it, but I can tell he’s worried. He’s always watching me now, his brown eyes searching for some sign that I’m still the same Y/N he fell in love with. But the truth is, I don’t feel like the same person anymore, and that scares me more than I care to admit. The outbursts come out of nowhere—sudden, violent flashes of anger—and then, just as quickly, they’re gone, like they never happened. And the worst part? I can’t remember them.

It’s terrifying.

It started small. A broken plate here, a slammed door there. I chalked it up to stress. Firefighting is a tough job, and we’re no strangers to pressure. But as the weeks turned into months, the episodes became harder to ignore. They were no longer just occasional moments of frustration—they were frequent, and sometimes, I wouldn’t even realize something was wrong until I saw the look in Brian’s eyes. That look of concern, like he didn’t know how to help me, like he was afraid to say the wrong thing. I hated that look. It made me feel like I was losing him, losing us.

But I kept telling myself it was fine. I was fine. If I just pushed through, if I worked harder, the episodes would stop. I thought if I ignored it, I could outrun it.

I was wrong.

Tonight, as I lie in bed next to Brian, listening to his soft breathing, I can’t shake the feeling that something big is coming. Something we won’t be able to ignore. I stare at the ceiling, the weight of it pressing down on me, my chest tightening. The love I have for him is overwhelming, and I don’t know how to protect it anymore.

Brian stirs beside me, his arm draping across my waist as he pulls me closer in his sleep. I close my eyes, taking in the warmth of his body, the familiar scent of him. He feels like home. But the fear of losing that—of losing him—is more than I can bear.

Tomorrow is another shift. Another 48-hour stretch. I tell myself things will get better, that I just need to push through. But deep down, I know something has to give.

And I’m terrified that when it does, it’ll be too late to save what we’ve built.

Chapter 2:

The first time it happened, I barely noticed it. Looking back, that should have been my first clue. It was such a small thing—a flash of frustration that I thought was just stress from work. We were off-duty, Brian and I, sitting at the kitchen table after a long day. We’d been talking about the usual—our shifts, the next firehouse event, Cruz’s latest terrible joke. Brian had a way of making everything feel easy. Comfortable.

But that night, something was different.

I don’t even remember what set me off. One minute, we were laughing, and the next, I felt this surge of anger bubbling up inside me. It wasn’t anything Brian said or did, not really. It was more like a wave crashing over me, completely out of my control. I felt like I was drowning in it, and the next thing I knew, I was standing over the kitchen sink, my hands trembling as I stared at the shattered remains of a glass I didn’t even remember throwing.

Brian was standing a few feet away, his face pale, his eyes wide with shock.

“Y/N… what just happened?” His voice was quiet, careful.

I blinked, trying to piece together the moment, but it was like a fog had settled over my mind. “I—I don’t know.” My voice sounded distant, unfamiliar. “I didn’t mean to—”

“It’s okay,” he said quickly, stepping forward. He placed his hand gently on my arm, his touch grounding me. “It’s okay. It was just a glass.”

But it wasn’t just the glass, and we both knew it. Something had shifted inside me, something dark and uncontrollable. And the worst part was, I couldn’t explain it. I couldn’t tell Brian what was wrong because I didn’t know.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, my throat tight. “I don’t know what happened.”

Brian smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “It’s fine. We’re both tired. It was just a glass.”

I nodded, but as I swept up the broken shards, I couldn’t shake the feeling that something had broken inside me, too. And it wasn’t going to be as easy to put back together.

Chapter 3:

Weeks passed, and the tension in the air between Brian and me seemed to grow with each passing day. It wasn’t just at home anymore—my outbursts were starting to creep into our shifts at the firehouse. It wasn’t anything major at first, just little moments where I’d snap at someone or lose my temper more easily than usual. Everyone chalked it up to the stress of the job, and I let them. It was easier than admitting something was wrong.

But inside, I could feel it building—this pressure, like a balloon swelling inside my chest, ready to burst. I thought I could handle it. I thought if I kept myself busy, if I focused on the work, I could push it down. But firefighting isn’t a job where you can afford to lose control.

I remember one call in particular. It was a standard house fire, nothing we hadn’t seen a thousand times before. The flames were manageable, but there was a lot of smoke. We went in as a team, each of us with a role, moving in sync like we always did. Brian was with me, like he usually was, our movements so familiar we didn’t even need to talk to communicate.

But something was off that day. The smoke felt heavier than usual, the heat more oppressive. My helmet felt like it was pressing down on my skull, making my head throb. I tried to push through it, focusing on the task at hand, but my mind was racing. Every sound—the crackle of flames, the muffled voices over the radio, even my own breathing in the mask—felt like it was closing in on me.

“Y/N, you good?” Brian’s voice crackled through my radio.

“I’m fine,” I muttered, though my vision was starting to blur at the edges. We were almost done, just a few more minutes. I could make it. I had to.

But then, out of nowhere, the frustration hit me. I don’t know why—it wasn’t a particularly stressful call—but something inside me snapped. I felt a surge of anger, irrational and uncontrollable. I swung my axe harder than I needed to, cutting through debris with more force than was necessary. I heard Brian call my name again, concern clear in his voice, but I didn’t respond. I couldn’t. I was too focused on the pounding in my head, the rage bubbling just beneath the surface.

When we finally exited the building, I ripped off my helmet and tossed it to the ground, breathing heavily. My heart was racing, my hands trembling.

“What the hell, Y/N?” Brian was at my side, his voice sharp. “You could’ve hurt yourself in there.”

“I’m fine,” I snapped, my voice harsher than I intended. “It’s nothing.”

“It’s not nothing,” he said, his brow furrowing as he looked at me. “You’ve been off lately. This isn’t like you.”

I turned away, not wanting to hear the concern in his voice. I didn’t want to admit that he was right—that something was wrong with me. “I told you, I’m fine.”

But I wasn’t. I knew it, and Brian knew it, too.

Chapter 4:

The firehouse had always been a place of comfort for me. It was where I felt in control, where I knew I could make a difference. But lately, even that had started to feel like a burden. My outbursts were becoming more frequent, and I could see the strain it was putting on everyone—especially Brian.

At home, things were getting harder. Brian tried to be patient, but I could see the frustration in his eyes whenever I lost my temper. He’d always been the calm one, the one who could smooth things over with a joke or a smile. But even he couldn’t keep pretending that everything was fine.

We had one of our worst fights a few nights after that call. I don’t even remember what started it—something small, something stupid. But it spiraled out of control so fast. One minute, we were sitting on the couch, watching a movie, and the next, I was yelling at him, accusing him of things that didn’t even make sense.

“You don’t even care about me anymore!” I shouted, the words spilling out of my mouth before I could stop them. “You’re always at work, or with Cruz, or doing anything but being here with me!”

Brian looked at me like I’d just slapped him. “Y/N, what are you talking about? I’m always with you! We work together, we live together—how much closer can we get?”

“That’s not what I mean!” I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes, but I didn’t care. “You’re here, but you’re not really here. You don’t look at me the same way anymore. You don’t—”

“Stop,” he cut me off, his voice calm but firm. “That’s not true, and you know it. I love you. I’ve always loved you.”

His words should have soothed me. They should have made me feel safe. But instead, they only made the anger flare hotter. “Then why do I feel so alone?” I whispered, my voice breaking.

Brian’s face softened, and he took a step closer, reaching for my hand. “Y/N, I’m right here. You’re not alone. But something’s going on with you, and you won’t talk to me about it.”

I yanked my hand away, refusing to meet his eyes. “I’m fine,” I muttered for what felt like the hundredth time.

But I wasn’t. I wasn’t fine, and I was pushing him away without even meaning to. I could see it in his eyes—the worry, the frustration, the helplessness. He didn’t know how to fix this, and neither did I.

That night, we went to bed without saying another word. Brian turned his back to me, and I lay there, staring at the ceiling, feeling the weight of my own silence pressing down on me. I wanted to reach out to him, to tell him I was scared, that I didn’t know what was happening to me. But the words wouldn’t come.

All I could do was lie there and wonder how much longer we could keep pretending that everything was okay.

Chapter 5:

The firehouse was unusually quiet that night. It was the kind of quiet that crept into your bones, making you restless. We were on the second day of a 48-hour shift, and exhaustion hung in the air. Normally, a shift like this didn’t faze me—adrenaline and routine kept me going. But tonight, my head felt like it was being squeezed in a vice. The migraine was pounding behind my eyes, a dull, throbbing pain that no amount of coffee could fix.

I rubbed my temples, trying to will the headache away. Brian had noticed it earlier in the shift and offered me some Tylenol, but I turned him down. There was something about this headache that felt different, heavier. And I was already on edge—there was no way I wanted to dull my senses while on duty.

I kept my distance from the crew tonight, choosing to sit quietly at the kitchen table, nursing my coffee and staring blankly at the TV. Normally, I’d be laughing with the rest of them, especially Brian and Cruz, who were busy trading ridiculous jokes and stories. But I couldn’t focus on any of it. The migraine had lodged itself deep in my skull, making every sound feel like nails on a chalkboard.

I was counting down the hours. Only eight more hours of this shift. And then, finally, Brian and I could go home, grab food from the new Wingstop, and just unwind. It had been a long week, and I was craving something normal, something that would remind me of the simplicity of us. I clung to the thought of getting those wings together. It was the one thing keeping me grounded, the one thing I was looking forward to after the chaos of the last two days.

As if on cue, Brian wandered over to me, his smile easy as always, though I could see the concern lingering in his eyes.

“Hey,” he said softly, sitting down across from me. “How’s your head?”

I forced a small smile, though I knew it didn’t reach my eyes. “Still there, but it’ll pass. Just need to get through these last few hours.”

“We’re almost done,” Brian said, his hand reaching out to gently brush mine. “And then it’s Wingstop time, right? I’m starving.”

I nodded, feeling a small flicker of relief. “Yeah, can’t wait. Been thinking about it all day.”

Brian paused, his brow furrowing slightly. “Actually… about that. I just grabbed Wingstop with Cruz an hour ago. Didn’t realize you’d still want it tonight. You cool with grabbing something else?”

The words barely registered at first. They came out so casually, so matter-of-fact. But as they sank in, I felt a sharp, searing heat rise in my chest. My fingers tightened around the coffee mug in my hand as the rage swelled, unbidden and uncontrollable. I blinked, my vision blurring for a moment as my heart pounded in my ears.

“Wait, what?” I could hear the edge in my voice, sharp and venomous, even as I tried to keep it together. “You just had Wingstop? You knew we were supposed to get it together after shift.”

Brian’s eyes widened, taken aback by the sudden shift in my tone. “I didn’t think it’d be a big deal. We can still get it if you want. I’ll eat it with you, no problem.”

“No,” I snapped, the word flying out before I could stop it. “I don’t want it anymore.”

Brian frowned, confusion and concern mingling on his face. “Y/N, what’s going on? It’s just food. If you want Wingstop, we’ll get Wingstop. It’s not a big deal.”

But to me, it was a big deal. It felt like everything—the headache, the exhaustion, the tension between us—was boiling over, and this one tiny thing had pushed me over the edge. I could feel it happening, the anger building into something unstoppable, and I hated it. I hated that I couldn’t control it, couldn’t stop the words from tumbling out.

“You always do this!” I shouted, my voice breaking as the room seemed to close in around me. “You say one thing and then turn around and do whatever you want! Do you even care about what I want anymore? All I wanted was this shift to end so we could finally go home and have a normal night together. But no—of course you couldn’t even wait for me to get the food we talked about!”

“Y/N,” Brian said softly, reaching out to touch my arm, “I didn’t mean—”

“DON’T TOUCH ME!” I jerked away from him, my heart racing as the room fell silent. Everyone was staring now—Cruz, Mouch, Sylvie, Herrmann. Even Chief Boden, who had been standing by the door, was watching with furrowed brows.

I could feel my hands shaking, my vision blurring as tears welled up in my eyes. “All I wanted,” I choked out, my voice trembling, “was a little quality time with my boyfriend. But instead, I get stuck on this miserable shift with a migraine and a boyfriend who only cares about himself.”

The words hung in the air like poison, and as soon as they left my mouth, I felt something inside me shatter. My heart was pounding, my breath coming in ragged gasps, and before I knew it, tears were streaming down my face. I didn’t even recognize myself in that moment. This wasn’t me.

Brian stood there, frozen, his face pale with shock and hurt. “Y/N, I…”

But before he could say anything else, it was like a switch had flipped. The anger drained out of me as quickly as it had come, leaving me feeling hollow and confused. I blinked, wiping my tear-streaked face as I straightened my posture, suddenly aware of the silence in the room.

“Why… why am I crying?” I asked, my voice soft, bewildered. I looked around at everyone’s faces—confusion, concern, shock—all eyes on me. The pressure in my head eased slightly, the migraine fading as quickly as it had come.

Without another word, I turned and walked to the bathroom, the weight of everyone’s stares pressing down on me like a heavy fog.

Chapter 6:

I spent a long time in the bathroom, splashing cold water on my face and staring at my reflection in the mirror. My face was flushed, my eyes red from crying, but it wasn’t the physical exhaustion that scared me. It was the blank space in my mind, the way the anger had flared so hot and fast, only to disappear without a trace. I didn’t remember half of what I’d said, and what I did remember felt like it had come from someone else’s mouth, not mine.

I leaned against the sink, gripping the edge of the counter so hard my knuckles turned white. I didn’t know what was happening to me, but it was getting worse. And I was terrified.

When I finally stepped out of the bathroom, I saw Brian waiting for me by the door. His face was etched with worry, but his voice was calm and steady when he spoke. “Chief wants to see us in his office.”

My stomach dropped. I nodded silently and followed him down the hall, my footsteps heavy, my heart pounding in my chest. Chief Boden rarely called anyone into his office unless it was serious. And this? This was definitely serious.

When we stepped into the office, Chief was sitting behind his desk, his expression unreadable. He gestured for us to sit, and the tension in the room was thick as we did. Brian sat next to me, close but not touching, his hands resting tensely in his lap.

“Y/N,” Chief Boden began, his deep voice gentle but firm. “Brian explained what’s been going on with you lately. I need you to listen carefully to what I’m about to say.”

I nodded, my throat tight.

“I’ve seen my share of stress in this job. I’ve seen how it can affect people—physically, mentally, emotionally. But what happened out there today wasn’t normal, and it wasn’t safe. For you or for anyone else. You’ve been one of the best firefighters on this team, but I can’t have you putting yourself or others at risk.”

I swallowed hard, the weight of his words settling over me like a cold blanket.

“I’m not asking,” Chief continued, his eyes locking onto mine. “I’m ordering you to go to Chicago Med. You’re not coming back on shift until the doctors clear you.”

His words hit me like a punch to the gut. “Chief, I—”

“This isn’t up for discussion,” he said, his voice softening but still firm. “You need to get checked out. Something’s going on, and you can’t ignore it anymore.”

I felt Brian’s hand brush against mine, a silent show of support, but I couldn’t look at him. I couldn’t face the disappointment in his eyes. All I could do was nod again, feeling a wave of helplessness crash over me.

“Take the rest of the day,” Chief said. “Go to Med. We’ll be here for whatever you need, but you’re not coming back until you get answers.”

Brian stood up, helping me to my feet as we left the office in silence. I could barely process what had just happened—how quickly everything had spiraled out of control. As we walked out of the firehouse and towards the car

Chapter 7:

The ride to Chicago Med was eerily quiet. Brian drove, his hands gripping the steering wheel a little too tight, his gaze focused on the road. I sat in the passenger seat, staring out the window, my mind a blur of confusion, guilt, and fear. Every bump in the road sent a fresh wave of pain through my skull, but it wasn’t just the migraine anymore—it was the uncertainty gnawing at my insides. Something was wrong with me. Deep down, I knew that now. But the thought of facing it, of having a doctor tell me what was happening… I wasn’t sure I was ready for that.

Brian didn’t say much during the drive, and I was grateful for that. I wasn’t sure what I would have said if he’d asked me how I was feeling. How was I supposed to explain the emptiness inside me, the way I felt like a stranger in my own body?

As we pulled into the parking lot of Chicago Med, Brian finally spoke, his voice soft but steady. “I’m coming in with you.”

I nodded, unable to find the words to argue. I didn’t want to do this alone. I didn’t want to walk into that hospital and face whatever it was that had been slowly unraveling me. And as much as I hated feeling vulnerable, I needed him with me.

The bright lights of the hospital stung my eyes as we walked through the automatic doors, the sterile smell of antiseptic hitting me like a wall. Brian led the way, his hand resting on the small of my back, guiding me through the bustling halls. We didn’t have to wait long before we were ushered into an exam room by a nurse, who took my vitals and asked the standard questions.

Then, there was more waiting.

I sat on the exam table, swinging my legs back and forth, my hands folded tightly in my lap. Brian stood next to me, close enough that our arms brushed every now and then, but he didn’t speak. He didn’t need to. His presence was enough—steady, calming, even though I knew he was as scared as I was.

After what felt like an eternity, the door swung open, and Dr. Will Halstead walked in. I knew him well—he’d treated me a few times before, and he was a friend of ours outside of work. But today, he didn’t greet me with the usual smile or lighthearted joke. His expression was serious, concerned.

“Hey, Y/N,” he said, glancing between me and Brian as he took a seat on the stool across from us. “I hear you’ve been having some… unusual symptoms.”

I nodded, my throat tight. “Yeah. I guess you could say that.”

Will frowned, his brow furrowing as he flipped through my chart. “Brian filled me in on what’s been going on. The headaches, the mood swings, the memory loss… we’re going to run a few tests to get a clearer picture. I know it’s scary, but we need to figure out what’s causing all of this.”

I swallowed hard, my heart pounding in my chest. “Do you have any idea what it could be?”

Will hesitated, and that hesitation sent a chill down my spine. “There are a few possibilities,” he said carefully, “but I don’t want to jump to conclusions until we have more information. We’re going to start with a CT scan to get a look at what’s going on inside your brain.”

Inside my brain.

The words echoed in my head, sending a fresh wave of panic through me. I glanced at Brian, who was watching me closely, his expression unreadable. He reached out, taking my hand in his, and I squeezed it tightly, my pulse racing beneath my skin.

“Okay,” I whispered, my voice barely audible. “Let’s do it.”

Chapter 8:

The waiting was the worst part.

After the CT scan, they sent me back to the exam room to wait while the results were processed. Every second that ticked by felt like an hour. I sat there, nervously tapping my foot on the floor, while Brian paced back and forth in front of me. His anxiety was palpable, and it mirrored the panic building in my chest. I didn’t know what was worse—the not knowing, or the fear of what we were about to find out.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Will came back into the room, holding a manila folder in his hand. His expression was serious—too serious. My stomach twisted into knots as I watched him sit down again, the air between us heavy with tension.

“Y/N,” he began, his voice low, “I’m not going to sugarcoat this. The CT scan showed something concerning.”

I felt Brian’s hand tighten around mine, his grip almost painfully strong. I couldn’t breathe. My chest felt tight, my heart pounding in my ears. “What is it?” I managed to ask, my voice barely above a whisper.

Will took a deep breath, his eyes soft with sympathy. “You have a tumor in your brain. It’s located in the frontal lobe, which explains the mood swings and memory lapses you’ve been experiencing. It’s putting pressure on the surrounding areas, which is likely causing the migraines as well.”

A tumor. The word hit me like a freight train, knocking the air from my lungs. I stared at Will, uncomprehending, as if he’d just spoken a foreign language.

A tumor. In my brain.

I felt the world tilt beneath me, everything spinning out of control. My heart pounded in my chest, and I was suddenly aware of every sound, every breath, every sensation. Brian’s hand in mine, Will’s steady gaze, the sterile scent of the hospital—all of it felt too real, too overwhelming.

“I—I don’t understand,” I stammered, shaking my head. “A tumor? How…?”

Will nodded gently, leaning forward, his tone careful but honest. “It’s a lot to process, I know. But the good news is that we caught it early. It’s operable, which means we can remove it. We’re going to need to schedule surgery as soon as possible.”

Surgery. Tumor. The words swirled in my head, but none of them made sense. This wasn’t supposed to happen. I was healthy. I was a firefighter—I fought through flames, saved lives. I wasn’t supposed to be the one lying in a hospital bed, waiting for a doctor to cut into my skull.

I felt my hands start to tremble, and suddenly, the weight of everything came crashing down on me. The months of mood swings, the fights with Brian, the outbursts I couldn’t control—it all made sense now. There was a tumor inside me, something foreign and dangerous, controlling me from the inside out.

“Oh my God,” I whispered, my voice breaking as the tears started to fall. “Brian… I’m so sorry.”

Brian’s arms were around me in an instant, pulling me close as I sobbed into his chest. “No,” he murmured, his voice thick with emotion. “You don’t have anything to apologize for, Y/N. None of this is your fault.”

“But I—” I tried to speak, but the words were lost in the sobs that shook my body. All the anger, the fear, the guilt—I couldn’t hold it back anymore. “I’ve been awful to you. I didn’t know…”

Brian held me tighter, his hand running through my hair as he pressed his cheek to the top of my head. “It doesn’t matter,” he whispered. “None of it matters. We’re going to get through this. You’re going to be okay.”

I wanted to believe him, but all I could think about was the word that Will had said: tumor.

Chapter 9:

We left Chicago Med in a daze. The world outside felt too normal, too calm, compared to the storm raging inside me. The sky was still a brilliant blue, people walked down the street, completely oblivious to the fact that my life had just been turned upside down. Brian drove in silence, his hand resting on mine, squeezing gently every so often as if he was reminding himself I was still there. I couldn’t get the word out of my head—tumor.

It felt like some terrible nightmare, one that I hadn’t woken up from yet. Except this wasn’t a nightmare. This was real, and no amount of blinking or pinching myself would make it go away.

We pulled into the firehouse parking lot. I didn’t want to be here, didn’t want to face the crew and see their reactions when they found out. But we had to. They were my family—they deserved to know.

As soon as we stepped inside, I could feel the weight of everyone’s stares. They knew something was wrong. Cruz and Mouch were sitting on the couch, glancing at us with concern. Herrmann, sitting at the table, stood up as soon as he saw us, his brow furrowed.

“Everything okay?” he asked, his voice cautious.

I looked at Brian, but the words got stuck in my throat. How was I supposed to tell them? How was I supposed to explain that everything I’d been through over the past few months wasn’t just stress or exhaustion, but something far more terrifying?

Brian took a deep breath, his voice low and steady. “We went to Chicago Med. Will Halstead ran some tests on Y/N.” He paused, his grip on my hand tightening. “They found a tumor. In her brain.”

The room went silent.

It was like the air had been sucked out of the firehouse. I could see the shock ripple across their faces, the confusion, the fear. Cruz’s mouth opened as if to say something, but no words came out. Boden stepped forward, his eyes filled with quiet understanding.

“A tumor?” Herrmann repeated, his voice barely above a whisper. “What does that mean? Is it… is it serious?”

I took a shaky breath, trying to keep the tears at bay. “It’s operable,” I said, the words sounding distant, as if someone else were speaking them. “They’re scheduling the surgery soon. I’ll… I’ll be okay. That’s what Will said.”

But as I said it, I wasn’t sure if I believed it. The fear gnawed at my insides, making it hard to breathe, hard to think. How could I be sure everything would be okay when nothing felt okay right now?

There was a long, heavy pause before Boden spoke. “We’re going to be here for you, Y/N,” he said softly, his voice steady and full of quiet authority. “Whatever you need—whether it’s before, during, or after the surgery—you’re not going through this alone.”

The words should have brought me comfort, but instead, they only made the knot in my chest tighten. I didn’t want to be the one who needed help. I didn’t want to be the one who was weak, who was sick. I was a firefighter. I was supposed to be strong, to take care of others. Not the other way around.

But now, everything had changed.

I couldn’t hold it back any longer. The sobs broke through, my chest heaving as I tried to breathe, to speak. “I’m sorry,” I choked out, my voice breaking. “I’m so sorry.”

Boden stepped closer, his hand resting gently on my shoulder. “You have nothing to be sorry for,” he said softly.

But I did. I was sorry for everything—for the outbursts, for the way I’d lashed out at Brian, for the times I’d scared the crew with my unpredictability. I felt like I was falling apart, unraveling at the seams, and I couldn’t stop it.

Brian pulled me into his arms, holding me tightly as the tears streamed down my face. I felt everyone’s eyes on us, but it didn’t matter. I couldn’t hold anything back anymore. I cried for everything—the fear, the uncertainty, the guilt.

“I don’t know how to do this,” I whispered into Brian’s chest, my voice trembling. “I don’t know how to be this person. I don’t know how to… how to be weak.”

Brian’s voice cracked as he held me even closer. “You’re not weak,” he whispered fiercely. “You’ve never been weak, Y/N. You’re the strongest person I know. And you don’t have to go through this alone. We’re all here for you—for whatever you need.”

I shook my head, pulling back just enough to look up at him, my eyes red and swollen. “But I’ve been so awful to you. I pushed you away. I didn’t know what was wrong with me, but I—”

“Stop,” he cut me off, his voice thick with emotion. “None of that matters now. None of it. You were scared, and you didn’t know why. But we know now. And we’re going to fix it. Together.”

I wanted to believe him. I wanted so badly to believe that everything would be okay. But the fear was still there, lurking in the background, whispering that things might never be the same again.

The crew stepped forward one by one, each offering words of support, hugs, and quiet reassurances. It was overwhelming—feeling so much love and care when all I felt inside was fear. I wanted to tell them how much it meant to me, how grateful I was, but the words got stuck in my throat.

Finally, Boden spoke again, his voice gentle but firm. “You need to rest, Y/N. Go home, get some sleep, and prepare for the surgery. We’ll be with you every step of the way.”

I nodded, though I wasn’t sure I’d be able to sleep with everything swirling inside me. But I appreciated the sentiment. I appreciated all of them.

Brian took my hand, and we started to leave. As we walked out of the firehouse, I looked back at the crew—my family—standing there, watching us with worried eyes. They believed in me. They believed I could get through this.

I just wished I could believe it too.

Chapter 10:

The night before the surgery was the longest night of my life.

Brian and I went back to our apartment, and for the first time in what felt like forever, the silence between us wasn’t filled with tension or misunderstanding. It was just… heavy. There was nothing more to say, nothing more to do but wait. I could see the worry etched into Brian’s face every time I caught him glancing at me. He tried to hide it, but I knew him too well.

We made dinner, but I could barely eat. The thought of surgery, of having someone cut into my brain, was too much to bear. I pushed the food around on my plate, my stomach churning with anxiety.

Brian eventually took my hand, pulling me into the living room. We sat on the couch, and I rested my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes as he gently stroked my hair. His touch was soothing, grounding me when my mind started to spiral.

“I’m scared,” I admitted quietly, my voice barely above a whisper.

“I know,” Brian whispered back, his voice soft and full of love. “I’m scared too. But you’re going to get through this. We’re going to get through this.”

I wanted to believe him. I wanted to hold onto his words like a lifeline. But the fear, the uncertainty—it was all-consuming. I couldn’t shake the thought that something could go wrong, that I might not wake up after the surgery, that everything could change in a matter of hours.

“What if…” I started, my voice trembling. “What if something happens? What if I’m not the same after?”

Brian’s hand stilled in my hair, and he pulled back just enough to look at me. His eyes were filled with so much love, so much emotion, that it took my breath away.

“No matter what happens,” he said softly, “I’m here. I love you, Y/N. Nothing’s going to change that.”

The tears welled up again, and I blinked them away, trying to stay strong. But Brian’s words broke something inside me, and before I knew it, I was sobbing, my whole body shaking as I clung to him.

“I don’t want to lose myself,” I cried. “I don’t want to lose you.”

“You won’t,” Brian whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “You won’t lose me. You’re not going anywhere, Y/N. You’re stronger than this. We’ll face whatever comes next together.”

I buried my face in his chest, feeling the warmth of his arms around me, and for the first time that night, I allowed myself to believe him.

[deanstead]

she's alright, i guess

Pairing: Stellaride x SeverideDaughter!Reader

Requested: yes, by anon

Summary: Y/N hasn’t been very welcoming towards having Stella in their lives, but when she’s faced with a situation, Stella proves to Y/N that she’s in her corner.

Word Count: 2.2K+

Tags/Warnings: Dad!Kelly, mentions of attempted assault, single parent, victim shaming

A/N: This is a different kind of request/fic from what I've written for OC so far but I was pretty intrigued by it so I decided to give it a go. Not opening requests for daughter fics at the moment still because I’m not sure how this turned out yet so let me know what you guys think!

STELLARIDE MASTERLIST

You looked up from where you’d been playing with the food on your plate, only to catch Stella smile at your father who was sitting next to you.

Resisting the urge to make a face, you turned to look at him. “Can I be excused?”

Kelly gave a small sigh and turned to look at you, looking like he wanted to say something and then deciding against it, merely nodding. “Yeah, go on.”

You gave his girlfriend a last withering look before you took your plate back into the kitchen.

Kelly suppressed an audible sigh before he looked back at Stella. “Sorry.”

Stella smiled and shook her head. “She just needs some time.”

You rolled your eyes and headed back to your room, plopping yourself down on your bed and staring up at your ceiling.

It wasn’t really that you didn’t like Stella. Hell, you’d been okay with her before you found out she was dating your father.

As far as daughters went, you were sure that you were at least three times more protective over your father than your classmates were about their own parents.

Maybe it had something to do with the fact that you only ever had Kelly growing up. You’d overheard countless discussions about people telling him that it was hard being a single parent especially with his job but whatever anyone said, and however Kelly had felt from the first time he’d found out he’d had a daughter and come to get you, Kelly had stuck it out with you.

Over the years, especially once you were older, you’d seen many girlfriends come and go - some didn’t want commitment, some ran the moment they found out about you, some just… didn’t make it. It didn’t matter that Kelly had seemed fine with everything. You were not, so all that had done was make you even more protective over him.

So when you’d found out about Stella, you’d felt your hackles raise.

Logically, you knew Stella had done nothing to deserve this but your 15 year old brain couldn’t seem to override the emotion with logic.

You lay there for a while more until there was a knock on your door and Kelly poked his head in.

“Hey kiddo. Can we talk?”

You sat up but didn’t give him an answer because you knew very well what he wanted to talk about and you weren’t sure you wanted to hear it.

Kelly came in anyway, pulling out the chair at your desk and sitting across from you.

“Will you give Stella a break?”

You looked up with a look of protest and Kelly held up a hand.

“I know.” Kelly said in a low voice, giving you a small smile to show you he wasn’t mad. “Just lighten up a little and give her a chance. That’s all I’m asking.”

You didn’t say anything but Kelly let out a chuckle as you pursed your lips. “Go easy.”

He pressed a kiss to the top of your head before patting your hair affectionately and leaving the room.

You pulled your jacket tighter around you, glancing behind you.

You hadn’t meant to let it get so late but you’d gotten a little too immersed in your notes and lost track of time. Other than the wind blowing against your back and making you shiver, you hadn’t realized how quiet the road from your friend’s house was.

You kind of regretted not calling Kelly to come and get you, but you also didn’t relish the idea of waiting here so you’d forged on, telling yourself you’d walked this street thousands of times.

But now, you were pretty sure someone was following you, hearing the echoing footsteps behind you.

Damn it.

Your hands that were jammed into your pockets closed around your phone but you were also worried things would escalate so you picked up your pace instead.

You heard the footsteps behind you match the increase in your speed and just as you thought you should break into a run, you were yanked backwards and unable to maintain your balance, you tumbled onto the concrete pavement, feeling the concrete scrape against your skin.

Your head snapped upwards, feeling your heart fall straight into your gut when you looked back into the face of the man that now towered over you.

It was a stranger, not a face you remembered seeing, but his lips ticked upwards in a smile that flipped your stomach over and your gut feeling as well as every nerve in your body was screaming at you to get up and run.

Flight.

You scrambled to your feet, slowly moving backwards as he now stepped towards you. His movements had slowed, like a predator that had just cornered his prey.

He took another step towards you and with well chosen timing, you brought your knee up swiftly, just like how Kelly had taught you.

Winded, the man bent over but not before letting out a growl.

You didn’t stick around long enough to find out what he had to say, your legs already moving before your brain realized you were running.

The wind blowing against you was painful but you didn’t dare stop because you weren’t sure if he was on your heels.

You turned the corner, sparing a glance back and collided straight into someone.

“Sorry.” You panted, glancing up.

“Y/N?” Stella looked surprised to see you before her expression switched to one of concern. “What’s wrong?”

Stella glanced up at the empty street behind you and then looked back at you. “You okay?”

You really didn’t have the energy for anything else. You just really needed an adult. You glanced up at her without talking and Stella reached for your hand.

When you didn’t pull away, Stella squeezed. “Do you want me to take you home?”

You shook your head quickly. “No. Wait. I just… I don’t want Dad to see me like this.”

Stella studied you for just a second more before she nodded. “My apartment’s just around the corner. Why don’t you come and have something at my place and we can talk? If you want to.”

You hesitated for just a second but you were still kind of spooked so you nodded, letting her lead you back down from where she came from, not even realizing your hand was still in hers.

Stella wasn’t exaggerating when she said her apartment was around the corner.

Within five minutes, you were seated on Stella’s couch, a cup of hot tea in your hands while you found yourself telling her what happened.

It was weird - you’d expected Stella to maybe pat your shoulders a little to reassure you that things would be fine before trying to convince you to call Kelly so he could come and get you. She wouldn't be the first girlfriend to hand you back over to your father as soon as she could.

But the emotions on Stella’s face as you told her were new to you - looks of concern, before outrage and then… if you didn’t know any better, you’d think she was upset.

You fell quiet after a while and Stella scooted a little closer to you.

“Alright, Y/N, listen.” Stella said and you looked up at her. “We have to report this.”

You looked back down again, your index fingers twirling together even though you were still holding the mug.

“I’ll come with you.” Stella paused. “If you’ll let me.”

You looked up again and nodded quietly. "You… You’d do that?”

You registered a look of surprise on Stella’s face before she next spoke. “Of course, Y/N.”

“Can we not call my dad yet?”

There was a small silence and you held back a sigh. You knew what would happen if your father found out about this. Other than the fact that you hated making him worry and that you knew things might get blown up out of proportion with practically everyone getting involved, it was kind of awkward talking to him about some stuff.

Stella glanced at you. “How about we take things one step at a time?”

You bit your lip and Stella nodded encouragingly at you. “Let’s go to the district and then when you’re ready, we can call Kelly alright?”

You nodded quietly, taking another sip of tea before Stella smiled. “Ready?”

You got up and Stella grabbed an extra coat off her coat hanger, draping it around your shoulders.

Stella had been told to wait outside while you gave your statement to the uniformed police officer sitting across from you but you were regretting this with each question the officer asked you.

“What were you doing out so late?”

“Is this what you normally wear to school?

You were done with the insinuations in his voice and tone. You were 15, not an idiot. You knew exactly where this was going and you’d been around your father’s friends long enough to pick some stuff up.

You stood all of a sudden, the nails digging into your palms in an effort not to let the angry tears out. “I’m not answering any more questions.”

“What do you…”

You didn’t let him finish his sentence, opening the door and stalking out.

As promised, Stella was right outside, glancing up as you walked out, reading the expression on your face instantly.

“You okay?”

You pulled Stella’s jacket tighter around yourself. “I just want to go home.”

Stella frowned, glancing up at the officer that was now outside the room as well. “You still have to answer a few questions. You can’t just…”

You didn’t move and Stella looked back down at you. “Y/N?”

“He hasn’t asked me a single question about what happened.” You said in a low voice, focusing only on Stella now. “No questions about how the man looked, what street this took place on, how he sounded.”

Stella frowned. Those were enough for her to put together a few pieces of the puzzle.

“Those are necessary questions. We need to know if…”

“Kidd. Y/N.”

You glanced up at a familiar face and Stella patted your back. “Told you I got you.” She whispered in a low voice so only you could hear.

Stella nodded with a smile at Hailey.

Telling the officer she’d take over, Hailey led you back into the room and smiled encouragingly at you.

“Stella called me. Will you tell me what happened?”

It was easier than you’d expected to talk to Hailey but even as you told her what happen, you found yourself internally steeling yourself for a lecture of some sort and you suddenly just really wished Kelly was here.

But Hailey offered no lecture or talking-to. Instead, she treated you like an adult, taking down the information you offered, her questions only revolving around important information she obviously needed, before she closed the book.

“Thank you, Y/N. Here.” Hailey handed you a small bottle and a small device. “Pepper spray and a small panic button.”

You looked up a little surprised and Hailey smiled. “If nothing, maybe it’ll help you feel safer.”

You nodded, keeping the things she handed you and Hailey came around and squeezed your shoulder before taking you out of the room again where Stella was waiting.

“Dad must be worried, I…”

Stella shook her head with a smile. “I told him you’re with me so he wouldn’t. I can call him if you’re ready.”

You felt involuntary tears well up in your eyes before you nodded. "Can you? I... I think I really need him."

Kelly was here in record time, running up the steps of the district as if he’d been waiting nearby in the first place but you didn’t care. The rush of relief and safety when you saw him made you wonder why you hadn’t gone to him immediately anyway.

“Y/N!”

You didn’t say anything, merely shooting off your seat to dive into your father’s arms like you were a child once again.

“You okay? Let me see.” Kelly pulled away just a little to look at you but other than remnants of the startled look in your eyes and new tears ready to spill over, you weren’t really hurt.

Kelly gently pulled you back into his arms and exhaled. “Thank god.”

He was never one for long verbal communications of how much he loved you but you didn’t really need him to tell you. This was even more apparent now as you were huddled in your father’s arms in the middle of a police district.

“You must be starving.” Kelly said after a while, looking down at you to wipe a stray tear off your face. “Why don’t we go get something to eat, hmm?”

You gave a small crooked smile and Kelly looked up, meeting Stella’s eyes.

“I’ll call you tomorrow.” Kelly said with a small apologetic smile at Stella. “Thank you.”

Stella nodded, but you interrupted them. “You’re not coming to eat with us?”

Kelly raised his eyebrows.

“Thought I’d give you two some private time.” Stella said, although she seemed to be weighing the look in your eyes now.

You shrugged. “You can come eat with us, too.”

Kelly glanced between his girlfriend and daughter. “Did something happen?”

You shrugged, lowering your voice. “She’s alright I guess.”

Kelly chuckled, swinging an arm around your shoulders as he led you out of the district. Stella fell into step on your other side and you smiled up at her. “Thank you.” You whispered, fully aware your father could hear you.

Stella smiled. “Thank you, too.”

Kelly just smiled at both his girls as the three of you walked down the empty streets. Together.

THANK YOU FOR READING!! PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THOUGHT OF THIS!!

If you want to support me, buy me a coffee!

[timothyslucy]

[taliaaurora]

You Look Happier - Kelly Severide

Warning: none.

Summary: Being a member of Firehouse 51 meant you were also invited to Kelly's wedding. You didn't imagine seeing your ex-boyfriend walk out of the while with someone else would break you that bad.

Word Count: 558.

A/N: I'm sorry for being distant from Tumblr and not posting anything in the last couple of months. This last semester at uni was a living hell, I hope i can write more now that I have more free time. I hope you enjoy this, I ❤ u!

Want to join my tag list? You can request it here! 🦋

———————————————��——————————

“You look happier.” You confessed, walking up to Kelly before taking a seat next to him at the bar. You knew that the music playing in the background was not loud enough to hide the sadness in your voice. He knew you like the back of his own hand, so you couldn't help but feel a little ashamed by the comment you just made.

"That's because I am." He flashed you a half smile. "I am happier." You couldn't say it didn't hurt you a bit when he confirmed that. You met his smile and stared at him for a while, rearranging the thoughts in your head. You wished it was you. You wished you were the girl that just walked out of the aisle with her arm looped around Kelly's.

"I'm happy for you. Really, I am." You nodded your head, gently squeezing his arm. "I am sorry that things didn't work out between us. But…seeing you here with that big smile on your face made my heart fill with joy. I always wanted you to be happy, Kelly. Even if that means I have to see you getting married to someone else."

Kelly stared at you for a while, not knowing what to say. He could see you were telling him the truth, you really were happy for him, but the look in your eyes told him something else. He could see right through you. You were hurting.

“I heard you’re leaving 51.” He changed the subject, taking a sip from his drink as he looked away. Deep down there was this odd feeling as if he was suddenly doubting the decision he made just an hour ago. He felt that if he kept looking into your eyes for too long he might regret getting married to the person that could've been you. Sometimes he looks at you and asks himself where did it all go wrong.

“Yeah, I'm leaving 51.” You quickly nodded your head, whipping off the tears that were forming in your eyes. “I need a fresh start, you know? I think spending some time away from Chicago might do some good.”

“Away from Chicago or away from me?” Kelly mumbled, his question felt more like a statement. Before you could answer, he shook his head and flashed you a smile. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. I think you should do whatever makes you feel better. If staying away from Chicago for a while is the solution, then go for it. I’ll be here for you when you come back.” He gently squeezed your shoulder as his own eyes started to water.

You nodded your head and pressed your lips together, holding back a sob. There was no point in holding back the tears, they were already running down your face as you quietly stood up and grabbed your purse.

Looking back at the party, you saw all of your friends smiling and having fun. Herrmann saw you standing there and quickly made his way toward you, noticing the fresh tears in your eyes. Without saying a word, he grabbed you by the hand and dragged you to the center of the room where all of your friends were drinking and dancing. Everyone from 51 was there, having the time of their life. They would hate you for not saying goodbye.

——————————————————————————

Want to join my tag list? You can request it here! 🦋

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[twistnet]

sights to behold [ stella kidd ]

⋯ SUMMARY ; there’s something absolutely magical about getting to see the woman of your dreams come around from behind the divide to show you her wedding dress for the first time -- and to think in a little less than an hour, you’ll get to call her yours for all eternity

⋯ WARNINGS ; female!reader + fluff [ weddings, loving and soft moments, some tears -- all happy, hand holding + sweet kisses ]

you stood in front of the floor-length mirror, hands brushing down the front of your dress almost as if to smooth out any wrinkles. letting out a nervous breath, you couldn't help but feel a sense of wonder. dressed in a breathtaking ivory gown, intricate lace detailing accentuating your every curve. the gown flowing down behind you gracefully. all made just for you. it was a symbol of your love and commitment, and the embodiment of your dreams.

just down the hall of your dressing room, sat all your friends and family gathered together in one room mingling with the murmurs of excited anticipation. as today was the day you would exchange vows with the love of your life, stella.

violet had only exited the room moments ago to grab your soon to be wife from her own dressing room. the bridesmaids face bright with a smile at the prospect of the two of you getting to see each other’s dresses for the first time.

a gentle knock interrupted your thoughts and with a fluttering heart, you turned to see stella standing in the doorway, a nervous smile on her face as she step further into your dressing room. she wore a pristine white wedding dress, a perfect match to your own, but with a touch of her own unique style. the dress hugged her figure elegantly, and her radiant smile outshone any sparkle in the room."hey, beautiful," stella whispered, her voice filled with awe as she drank in your breathtaking appearance. "i can't believe we're getting married today."

you couldn't help the tears that gathered in your eyes as you smiled softly, "i feel the same way, stella. this is a dream come true."

stella takes a step closer, her eyes never leaving yours. "may i?" stella asked, gesturing to your dress. you nodded, letting her approach and watching as her fingertips lightly brushed the delicate lace on your gown. marveling at the craftsmanship, her eyes shining with admiration."it's perfect," she murmured, her voice barely above a whisper. "just like you."

a surge of warmth filled your heart, and you reached out to take stella's hand. "and you are the most beautiful bride i could ever imagine," you replied, your voice filled with love.

stella's eyes shimmered with unshed tears, reflecting the depth of her emotions. "i am the luckiest person in the world to have found you, to be able to spend the rest of my life with you."

as your eyes locked, time seemed to stand still. the world around you faded away, leaving only the two of you, connected by an unbreakable bond. in that moment, all doubts and fears melted away, replaced by a profound sense of certainty and love. "you're my everything, stella," you confessed, your voice trembling with emotion. "today and always."

with tears of joy glistening in her eyes, stella drew you into a tender embrace. in that embrace, you knew that your wedding day wasn't just about the fancy decorations, the flowers, or the guests—it was about the love you shared, the promises you would make, and the lifelong journey you were embarking on together.

leaning back just enough to hold your gaze once more, her lips spread into a smile as she asks, “are you ready?” and once she has your confirmation, hands link together and are brought up to allow her to press a soft kiss to the back of your hand -- too afraid to ruin all the hard work violet had done with getting your ready this morning.

hand in hand, you both stepped away from the mirror, ready to begin the next chapter of your lives. your families awaited for you down the hall, filled with the promise of forever. and as you walked down the aisle, side by side, in your matching wedding dresses, you couldn't help but feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude— for the love that had brought you here and for the love that would carry you forward into a future. 

blog navigation ⇢ [ one chicago masterlist ]

[sailingfireshipz]

My starting 4 Chicago Fire female character edition. Reblog with who your starting 4 would be. I'd like to see something 🤔 👀

[spexialvixtimxunit]

A Special Moment

500 Follower Special

Part 2 from - Eating out

Warnings: Top!Stella Kidd x Black!Afab!Female!Reader,

Masterlist

Note: It's been a while since I posted and I forgot I had this in my drafts and was supposed to post this a while ago, I hope you enjoy this.

*there are writing mistakes in my works, I don’t proofread!*

。　♡ 。　　♡。　　♡. 。　♡ 。　　♡。　　♡ 。

“Tonight is all about you.” You whispered as you examined her body. Her hair was spread out all over the bed, her body hugged a black dress tightly to her figure.

You began your hunt, pushing her dress up to her waist, spreading her legs as you pulled off her underwear. She studied you, watching your every move.

You found what you were looking for, going down on her, devouring her wet area. She let out a moan as she grabbed onto your head, pushing you close. You moved her hands and grabbed onto her wrist.

You shook your head no as you could hear how frustrated she was. “If you move, you can’t cum.” You said while removing your mouth from her area.

She let out another whine, wanting you to touch her, having you to touch her. You could tell she was getting slightly angry as you continued to tease her by edging her, ever so slightly.

Stella let out a moan, figuring that she was about to cum, you pulled away, edging her once more. “Baby stop, please. Please let me cum. I need, I need to cum baby please.” She mewled.

You chuckled, "Only because today is about, I'll give you what you want only for today." You continued to devour her, savoring every feeling and flavor spilling out of her.

You allowed her to pull your face close to her as she came all over your face. You giggled as you could hear her soft panting as she whined in pleasure. "Oh fuck, baby." She whispered.

You got up and pulled up your dress to straddle her waist, leaning in to plant soft kisses on her flushed cheeks. Nothing could compare to the feeling you had felt every time you made her cum.

Naturally, her hands placed themselves on your waist. "How was that for a birthday gift?" She laughed at your comment. "I guess that was surely a surprise for me and I definitely enjoyed myself." She flirted.

"If you think that was the rest of your gift, you are wrong." You readjusted yourself, lining both of your clits up, pushing your hips together. "I want us to cum together." You whispered, letting out a moan as you could feel the wetness of your area slip all over her.

Soon enough all the excitement spilled over your bodies and you both came. "Oh my god, that was something else." Stella said sheepishly. YOu smiled, "Happy birthday Stella, I'm glad you enjoyed yourself tonight."

。　♡ 。　　♡。　　♡. 。　♡ 。　　♡。　　♡ 。

[sailingfireshipz]

The fact that he gave her a hard time about it just for him to have tried it to begin with lmao.

[callsign-dexter]

Heatwave of Emotions 18+

Request: Hey hooooo my dear ❤️ I love your blog sooooo much that I cannot resist to send in a Kelly Severide idea for my bday on Monday 🫣🥰 but of course you can write it whenever you have time !It would be something where you're just moved to Chicago, working at 51 and everyone immediately loves you, especially one grumpy Lieutenant. So after some weeks adjusting to everything and even getting closer with Kelly, which everyone notices and sees how happy you make each other, you finally agree on a date with him. Which turns out absolutely great and you're about to kiss as some random chick disturbs you both (she's been a one time thing with him at some point but not something serious) and you leave him standing there, being hurt and sad. The next days you barely talk with him and don't get him any chance to explain, so the rest of 51 tries talking in your mind that he's never been that serious about a girl until you showed up and stuff. Sooooo on a free day you show up at his apartment, wanting to talk with him, but as he opens the door you notice he just came out of the shower and you cannot get your thoughts together, so you kiss him, which he gladly returns and the situation gets into his bedroom, getting away all doubts of you🔥😉

Pairings: Kelly Severide x Paramedic!Reader

Warnings: angst, fluff, smut

Masterlist

A/N: Happy Belated Birthday to the anon who sent this in! I hope you enjoy it!

A/N 2: @talesofreading and @imagine-all-the-fandoms here is some Kelly Severide for ya!

When you moved to Firehouse 51 in Chicago from your old house back in Colorado, who wasn’t the best towards women, you thought this was going to be the same way. Boy, were you wrong. When you walked in you saw several women and the house and when they saw you, they immediately welcomed you and made it feel like home. Sylvie Brett, Stella Kidd, and Gabriela Dawson became your immediate friends and you couldn’t ask for anyone better to hang out with. When you were introduced to the rest of everyone, they were quick to make you feel welcomed and that made you smile. There was one person that caught your eye and you could tell that you had caught his eye as well. Once everyone cleared out and it was just you and him in the room, he approached you. “Hi I’m Kelly Severide. I work on Squad 3.” He said and smiled a dazzling smile that had you swooning and you smiled back at him.

“I’m Y/N Y/L/N. I’m gonna be working on Ambulance 61 with Sylvie and Gabriela.” You said and he smiled and nodded.

“You’ll be with the best. So, what made you move here?” He asked and you could tell he was actually curious and not looking for small talk.

“My firehouse back in Colorado wasn’t the best towards women and my ex-boyfriend cheated on me and he worked in the same house. I was the laughing stalk and needed a new start.” You said and he looked like he was actually pissed that happened to you.

“That is no way to treat someone as beautiful as you.” He said and you actually blushed and you were going to say something else but the bells rang for Ambulance 61 and he looked at you. “Well, it looks like it is your time to shine.” He said and you nodded as Sylvie came and motioned you to come and you did as you were walking towards the ambulance and got in the back, she turned to you.

“You and Kelly, huh?” She said with a smirk and you just bowed your head and smiled while blushing.

“Ohhhh, what is this about?” Gabriela asked and Sylvie turned to her.

“When I went to get her, she and Kelly were talking up a storm and he was smiling like actually smiling.”  She said

“Are you saying that Kelly and Y/N have a crush on each other already?” She asked and you just blushed furiously because yes it was true.

“Exactly what I’m saying.” She said

“Stop it guys.” You said but you were smiling and they laughed.

“In all seriousness, this is the first time I actually saw him smile an actual smile.” Sylvie said

“Really?” You asked and she nodded and turned back to look at you.

“Yes, he doesn’t smile a lot and he has been a grouch for a while.” She said but you didn’t get to ask any more questions because you had arrived at the scene. You three worked perfectly together but you couldn’t stop thinking about Kelly and he couldn’t stop thinking about you.

——————————————————————

4 weeks had gone by and you were loving your new house and they were loving you. You fit in well with the group.  We were close with all them but you were very close to none other than Kelly Severide. You won’t admit it but you had a crush on the handsome Squad 3 member whenever you were in the room together. Both of you could not stop smiling and making heart eyes with each other.

Not many calls were coming in so you took this time to tidy things up and get to know more of your coworkers. You had just come back from using the restroom when you heard Casey's voice and stopped where you couldn’t be seen, especially when you heard your name. “Ever since Y/N came, Kelly has been a lot nicer.” He said

“Oh absolutely, he is smiling a lot more and it's creepy but it’s nice.” Stella said and everyone agreed this made you smile to yourself. You had noticed that his mood had changed and to be honest it was nice to have a male being so nice and making you feel noticed. It had gone quiet so you had walked away with a smile on your face. You walked where the trucks were and found Kelly sitting there and that just made you smile even more. You walked over to him and sat down and he looked up and smiled.

“What are you smiling about?” He asked with a smile.

“Oh, nothing really. I just love this house and it’s nowhere near my last one and I’m so grateful for that.” You said and he leaned up further.

“We absolutely love having you here. I know I do most of all. Speaking of knowing you. I have to admit that I do have a crush on you.” He said and that made you blush.

“I do too.” You said shyly.

“Well, if we feel the same way then maybe go out on a date with me. I know you have turned me down in the past.” He said, this hasn’t been the first time that he had asked and each time you had politely turned him down and he understood and didn’t push but that didn’t stop him from asking a few weeks later. You looked at him thinking, this is the first time that you both had admitted that you had crushes on each other.

“Ok, fine. I’ll go on a date with you.” You said and the biggest smile appeared on his face.

“Really?” He asked and you nodded.

“Really.” You said

“What kind of food do you like?” He asked

“I really love Thai food.” You said and he smiled and nodded.

“I know this really good Thai place. I’ll pick you up at 7 tomorrow night.” He said and you nodded.

“Sounds like a date.” You said

“Indeed, it does.” He said and then the bells went off. You all were heading out onto the call.

——————————————————————

The day of the date started the few days you had off and you were somewhat looking forward to it but not really, you had really just wanted to be with your crew because being alone in a house by yourself sucked. You had spent all day getting ready for your date that you had even called Stella, Sylvie, and Gabriela over to help. When they asked why and you told them they practically squealed and dragged you to your room and started going through your closet. After finally settling on a pair of jeans that hugged your legs and accented what they needed and a nice red shirt that once again accented everything it needed to, you were ready. While you waited, they did your hair and makeup and then you all gossiped. It was mostly about Kelly but you didn't mind not in the least bit. They left around 6:30 PM and now you just had to wait.

7 PM rolled around and Kelly was knocking on your door. During the weeks everyone had exchanged phone numbers with you and some of them, mostly the 3 females that had become your friends, knew you address one being Kelly. You walked to your door and opened to find him on the other side holding some flowers and that made you smile. “These are for you.” He said and handed you the flowers which you gladly took.

“Thank you. Peonies are my favorite.” You said taking them and bringing them up to your nose to smell them. “Come inside while I put these away.” You said and stepped aside and he did just that. 

“So, our reservation is at 7:30 PM.” He said “It doesn't take that long to get there.” He added and you nodded as you finished putting the flowers in a vase. When it was close to 7:30 PM you both started to head that way. It turns out it was a walking distance but he insisted on driving and you let him. He found a place to park and then he was shutting off the engine and walking over to your side of the car and opening the door for you and that made you smile. 

“Thank you.” You said and he smiled.

“You’re very much welcome.” He said and when you were plenty enough away from the door, he shut it and locked it. You walked in and straight to the desk “Reservation for two under Severide.” He said and the hostess nodded and smiled.

“Right this way.” They said and you followed them. You both were led outside to a semi-private area and Kelly pulled out the chair for you. The date was going well and you two got to know a lot about each other. When the date was over, he paid for it and then you both left. As you were walking to his car that was parked a few feet away, the both of you stopped at a little park that was close by with a fountain. 

“I really had a nice time with you.” You said looking up at him and he smiled.

“I did too. Do you wish you would’ve gone out with me sooner?” He asked and you chuckled.

“I think I was right to turn you down those three other times. It just helped make this night even more perfect.” You said and he chuckled.

“I get it. I’m just glad you said yes, this time.” He said and then turned to you and the both of you stood there staring at each other and you both slowly leaned in. Your lips were almost touching when a female voice sounded.

“Kelly? Kelly Severide?” The voice said and that made you both look up and over at the voice.

“Alexa.” He said and your stomach dropped. Everyone told you about his flings and relationships that didn’t work out. You expected to meet them sooner or later but not now.

“Why haven’t you texted me back? I wanna hook up again.” Alexa said and that made you feel even worse.

“I told you we were done.” He said and he shook his head and looked over at you. 

“Baby, I promise we are done.” He said and you just shook your head. Alexa put her hands on his biceps and got all up and close. 

“It’s only been a week. A week too long. Ditch this tramp and come back to my place with me.” She said trying her hardest to work. Kelly didn’t say anything.

“I can’t believe I actually fell for this. I should’ve known better. You’re just as bad as my ex, you were hooking up with her when you were talking and trying to go out with me. You know what? I’m so done. Never talk to me again, Severide.” You said and he cringed and started to panic. You only called him Severide while at work all the other times it had been Kelly. You pushed past them and started to walk away. You heard some talking and the fact he wasn’t running after you right now broke your heart and tears fell. “I was so stupid.” You told yourself you were almost home when you heard your name.

“Y/N, please stop.” Kelly said and you did but didn’t turn around. “I haven’t talked to that girl in months and when you came into the house all communication stopped. You have to believe me. She was lying.” He said and you shook your head and turned around and when he saw the tear tracks running down it broke him. 

“I can’t. I’m sorry. How do I know she’s not lying?” You asked and he hesitated and you let out a watery chuckle. “Do me a favor and lose my number. The only time I will speak to you is at work but that’s it.” You said and walked the rest of the way to your home leaving him standing there. You shut the door and slid down it and sat there and sobbed. 

Kelly was distraught. Since you had come into the house, he hadn’t hooked up with anyone, he wanted you and only you. You made his days better and his drinking had cut down tremendously. He just hoped that he could talk to you and let you know that but right now you weren’t listening to him. He immediately pulled out his phone and sent a couple of text messages to you and called you but the messages went unanswered and the calls went straight to voicemail. 

——————————————————————

When it came time for you to go back to work you were dreading it. You didn’t want to see him at all. You told him all about your ex and how awful men were to you. When you had arrived at the station the only spot available was by Kelly’s car and you sighed but parked next to it. You killed the engine and got out and walked into the nearly silent station. You walked into the locker room and got changed and then you were heading to find everyone else. As you were searching for anyone, Kelly rounded the corner and you stopped and so he did. He looked like hell. He had bags under his eyes and his eyes weren’t as bright. “Y/N.” He said your name with a breathless whisper but you just shook your head and walked away.  

Each time he tried to talk to you, you would just back away or make up an excuse that you had something to do and leave. You felt bad for doing so but he did break your heart and most importantly your trust. You still love him but you had built walls up and they weren’t going to come down anytime soon. You had to put up with him for 3 days while you worked and it was gonna be difficult but you were going to pull through no matter what. 

Over the next few days, you avoided him like the plague and each time he tried to corner you and tried to explain the bell had rung each time saving you. You honestly didn’t know if you were going to give him another chance or not. Everyone had settled into the kitchen while Squad 3 was out on a call. While you were there, they got to talking about anything but the subject of Kelly had come up. “Gosh Kelly has become so irritable in the last few days. He’s even more grumpier and pretty much has gone back to his old ways.” Stella said and then she turned to you. “How was the date?” She asked.

“It was great and he was a gentleman. Afterwards we went to a little park near my house and as we were talking some girl came up named Alexa. She said that they hadn’t hooked up in weeks. She started touching him and he didn’t even try to stop her. He knew my history with men and how I was cheated on.” You said and everyone was quiet. 

“You know he has certainly changed since you came here. He started to become happy and friendly. His attitude has changed drastically.” Sylvie said and everyone nodded in agreement. 

“You’ve changed him for the better.” Gabriela said and you just sat there quietly taking it all in. 

“This Alexa girl he hasn’t talked to in months, almost close to a year.” Casey said and you looked up surprised.

“So, he was telling the truth?” You asked and they all nodded and now you felt bad for not giving him the time of day to actually explain. 

“He was. He is so in love with you that it is almost sickening.” Herrmann said, you thought about it and then the bells were ringing and Ambulance 61 and Truck 81 was being called out. As you were walking to the ambulance, the Squad 3 truck was pulling into the station. As Kelly got out you both made eye contact with each other but you had gotten in and shut the doors and you were off.

——————————————————————

When you got off shift you had debated on going straight home but you needed to see Kelly. You walked out to your car and noticed that he was already gone and you sighed. You got into your car and started the engine and headed over to his apartment. You knew where it was because you had been over there several times just to hang out and that was the first time you had admitted to yourself that you were absolutely in love with him. 

You pulled into a space and parked and killed the engine. You started your way into the building and walked to the elevator and pressed the button and it immediately opened. You got in and then pressed the button for his floor. You waited anxiously for it to arrive at his floor and when it did you knew there was no going back. You got off and walked to his door and knocked. There was no answer. You debated on going back home or not but didn’t get a chance to turn around because the door was opening and it was revealing Kelly with a towel wrapped around his waist and his hair was wet. “Y/N?” He asked and you couldn’t think of anything to say as you looked him up and down. 

After a few minutes you finally had enough and no words were coming to you so you just smashed your lips onto his and he returned it. He was so surprised that it had pushed him back but he had grabbed your waist and pulled you inside and shut the door. He pushed you up against the door and the heavy make out session continued. You finally pulled apart when air was needed and you could feel his erection from underneath the towel. “I’m sorry. I believe you and should’ve let you explain.” You said and he shook his head.

“That doesn’t matter right now. Jump.” He said and you did so and then he was back to kissing you, hard. He walked his way to his bedroom and gently laid you down. You broke the kiss and pulled the towel off and your mouth watered at the sight, he was huge and you loved it. “You like what you see?” He asked and you nodded.

“Very much so, but I’m wearing too many clothes.” You said and he chuckled and then started to slowly undress you while caressing every part of your body and kissing it. Soon you were completely naked and showing all of you to him. 

“You’re absolutely beautiful.” He said and you blushed. He laid down on the bed and gently spread your legs and dove in. When his mouth met your hot core, you moaned and grabbed onto his head and pushed him more into you.

“Kelly.” You moaned out and he smirked, he circled your clit and then he pushed a finger into and you were throwing your head back. He thrusted into you and then added a second finger “Oh my gosh.” You moaned out that the rubber band feeling was starting to get tight and you were close. “I want to come on your cock.” You moaned out and he nodded and licked one more broad stripe up you before he was lifting his head and pulling out his fingers. He crawled up to you and kissed you, you tasted yourself on him. 

“You ready, Baby?” He asked while pumping himself twice and you nodded.

“I need you inside me.” You said and he nodded and positioned himself at your entrance and he pushed in. You both moaned together as he did so.

“You’re so tight.” He said and when he bottomed out you felt so full and he stretched you in all the right places. He stayed still for a minute letting you adjust.

“Move.” You moaned out and he nodded and started to gently thrust into you. Your hands went to his back and your fingers dug into his shoulder blades.

“You’re perfect.” He said and started to thrust faster making you moan louder.

“Right there.” You said as he hit your g-spot. “Oh my gosh, I love you.” You moaned out and that just made him go faster.

“I love you too, Baby. You’re the only one for me.” He said and dipped his head down into your neck and sucked on it. He gently bit it and that you were clenching around him. 

“I’m close.” He said and you moaned out.

“Me too. I want you to cum in me.” You moaned out and that just seemed to make him go faster. 

Kelly’s thrust was becoming sloppy and you knew he was close. Your fingernails bit into him making him hiss. He reached a hand down to your clit and started to rub vigorously which helped you get closer. “Cum with me.” He moaned out and then he was bending down, taking one of your nipples into his mouth and sucking on it. When he gently bit it is when you came and you clenched around him which made him cum. You both came while calling out each other’s names. You both were coming down from your highs when he pulled slowly out of you and laid next to you. You both panted out of breath but a smile was on both of your faces. “I wasn’t lying when I said you’re the only one for me.” He said and you turned to look at him.

“I know. Everyone talked to me. I’m sorry for not letting you explain.” You said and he smiled at you.

“It’s ok. I’m just glad we’re here with each other now.” He said and you nodded “I love you.” He said and you smiled.

“I love you too.” You replied

“Will you be my girlfriend?” He asked and you sat up leaning on an elbow.

“Yes. I would love to.” You said and he smiled and he leaned over and kissed you.  You were his and he was yours and that is all that mattered. Nothing was going to change that not now or ever. 

Tag list:

@kmc1989

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@atarmychick007

@nyx2021

@grandstrangerphantom

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@talesofreading

[timothyslucy]

oh, i thought stella's star "girls on fire" recruit took that training manual from stella for some diabolical scheme, whoops. 😅

[witchygagirlwrites]

Broken Bonds-Part 17

Former(ish) Greg "Mouse" Gerwitz x Reader, BabyDaddy! Jay Halstead x Reader

You face a hard case that pushes your limits and makes you finally face your feelings for Jay. The two of you confront those feelings head on.

Warnings: Violence, cursing, nsfw happenings

You sat on top of Kim’s desk next to her as you both went over files from the most recent case. A tip had led to a fairly decent sized drug bust but the tip had also led to the informant being killed and it was your informant. You wanted to know how his name had gotten leaked, who had leaked it and who had killed him because whoever was responsible was going down and you weren’t stopping until you personally put cuffs on them.

“Anything you can tell us that may help us here Kidd?” Voight asked and you shrugged, scrubbing a hand over your eyes “Jerry was a good guy. He had a wife and a kid. Hell he bought me a three pack of onesies when he found out Addy was a girl. He was a sweet guy who’d just gotten into some trouble and was trying to stay out of prison to be there for his son” 

Voight nodded “We’re gonna find who did this, I promise you that. We don’t put up with rats” you nodded because at the moment you didn’t want to hear promises of finding the perp, you wanted names. You wanted their neck under your boot and for them to know the only reason they made it to prison was because you were a mother and didn’t want to go home to your baby girl with any more blood on your hands than was necessary.  

You didn’t miss how Voight cut his eyes at Jay or how everyone was giving you a wide berth. This case was wearing on you. You were responsible for an eight year old no longer having his father because you’d popped him on a drug charge a few years back. You pushed off Kim’s desk to head towards the breakroom. You needed a bottle of water.

You leaned down into the fridge and heard someone walk into the room behind you, you didn’t have to look to know it was Jay. You could damn near feel it was him. “I’m fine” you promised and he scoffed “No, you’re not” you spun around to face him, holding the water bottle out almost accusatory “Ok, I’m not. Jay how the hell would you feel if someone got me killed? Would you think that person should be ok? If someone got you killed I damn sure wouldn’t want them to be ok”

“Sweetheart, it’s not the same thing” he spoke so damn gently you had to blink back tears “Explain to me why it’s not. Because I look at our daughter Jay, our little three and a half month old baby and I imagine some asshole talking you into something that ends up getting you killed and you know what that does to me? Jerry was a good guy. He was just trying to work off his case. This bust cleared him, it cleared him!” you hadn’t realized tears had started falling until Jay was across the room, pulling you into his arms.

He smoothed a hand down your back, the same way he did to soothe Addy “That’s why it’s not the same. If you were some asshole you wouldn’t be hurting over his death. I know he was a good guy. Every time we saw him when you were pregnant he had something for you, he bought stuff for Addy, he loved his son. When we find out who did it and we will I promise you we will bring them down” he pulled back enough he could meet your eyes “But I need you to promise me not to hide away. Addy needs her mom, I need you. The unit needs you”

“I’ve never lost a C.I, Jay” you whispered and he nodded “I know, your heart is so damn big sweetheart. That’s something I’ve always loved about you. For now though you’ve got to use that box to separate emotions from the job then when it's all over and you need to break, I’ll be there to help you or I’ll call Stella or-or even try to get Mouse to call. Whatever you need. If you can’t focus though and promise me you can focus Voight is going to bench you on this case and I’m not going to argue him”

You nodded slowly “I can separate them Jay. I promise you there’s nothing that could distract me from going home to Addy” he smiled “That’s my girl” and pressed a kiss to your forehead “Let’s get back to work” he slipped his arm around your shoulders and the two of you walked out of the breakroom.

You jolted awake for the third time, a thin sheen of sweat covering your body. Every time you’d fallen asleep you’d dreamt of the crime scene but instead of Jerry’s body it was Jay’s. You raised a shaking hand to your face and had to work to draw your breath. You glanced at the time and saw it was a little past two, you had Addy so he was probably asleep. You didn’t want to wake him but maybe if you heard his voice, it would convince your brain he was ok so you could sleep?

You pushed yourself up the bed and grabbed your phone off the table next to the bed. You hit his number and smiled when the photo of him and Addy popped up. It rang twice before he answered, voice deep with sleep “Hey sweetheart, you and Addy ok?” you immediately kicked yourself for worrying him. “I’m sorry for waking you up Jay, we’re ok” he yawned then said “It’s fine but you’re not ok. I can tell from your voice.Talk to me”

“I keep having nightmares” your voice wavered at the end and he spoke your name gently as a way to coax you into telling him “I keep seeing you dead instead of Jerry” you whispered, trying to fight back tears. You heard movement  on his end so you asked what he was doing “I’m getting dressed. I’ll be there in a few minutes” “Jay, it’s two in the morning. You don’t have to come across town.I just wanted to hear your voice to convince my brain you’re ok” “I never said I had to but if you can’t sleep to the point you’re calling me? I’m coming over. That way if you have another nightmare it’s even easier to let yourself know I’m ok if I’m asleep on the couch”

__________

Instead of trying to fall asleep you got up and checked on Addy then waited in the living room for Jay. When he unlocked the door and stepped in he smiled when he saw you sitting on the couch “Is she awake?” he whispered and you shook your head.

He nodded and took his jacket off then kicked his boots off before locking the door back then walked over to sit down next to you. He kept his voice low because he knew if not Addy would pop up if she heard him “Why are you in here?” You shrugged, twisting your crescent ring around your finger “I was waiting on you” he smiled slightly “Well as you see Detective Kidd, I’m alive and well. So you can get some sleep”

You nodded and went to stand then stopped “Do you want to just sleep in there with me Jay?” he opened his mouth then snapped it shut then opened it again before saying “We haven’t shared a bed since Addy was born” you laughed lightly “I know. I don’t think you’re gonna cease being a gentleman because I’m no longer pregnant. I just figured the bed is more comfortable than the couch and this case is kicking our ass enough. I’ll let you take the monitor so if she wakes up”

He nodded after a moment “Ok” and stood to follow you into the bedroom. You walked over to the bed and climbed in. How many nights had you watched Jay strip his jeans and shirt off to get into the bed while you were pregnant? Too many to count probably. However, this time? Your lower stomach flipped when he slid his pants off his hips.

He smiled when he realized your attention was on him “Same sides still?” you nodded so he climbed into the bed and turned to face you “Get some sleep. If you have a nightmare I’m right here to prove I’m ok” you smiled “Thank you Jay” “I told you, anything you need I’m here” he reminded you before pressing a kiss to your forehead.

____________

Jay woke up slowly, sleep fogging his brain slightly. He felt a warm body at his back and the night before came rushing back. You calling after a nightmare, him coming over and you asking him to sleep in the bed. He realized he’d moved around in his sleep to the point he was laying on his stomach facing away from you but you were curled up on his back, fast asleep. You must not have had any more nightmares or had attached yourself to him to the point to ensure you didn’t. Either way he could get used to waking up with you wrapped around him..no he couldn’t think like that.

The light sound of Addy babbling broke him out of his thoughts. You began to stir on his back and he froze when he felt your lips graze his shoulder and a sleepy “Mornin Jay” fall from your lips. “Morning” he replied and you crawled off of him, mumbling an apology. He smirked “Don’t apologize for being on top sweetheart, I don’t mind” and was rewarded with an eye roll.

You shook your head and got out of the bed “You coming to see your daughter since you’re here and don’t have to just meet me at the daycare?” he grinned “Of course” and moved to follow you out of the bedroom to Addy’s room.

You were feeling slightly more human when you walked into the precinct after you dropped Addy off at daycare. Jay had gotten her fed and dressed while you showered then followed you to the daycare. You cut your eyes up when you heard him coming in the door right after you “Here sweetheart” he held out a cup with your usual coffee order and you smiled “Thank you” “Of course”

You stopped at the palm scanner and he opened the door and held it after it popped. The two of you walked up the stairs and you hoped like hell once you got upstairs some sort of break was waiting to find Jerry’s killer. 

You glanced at the board, the picture of Jerry in the corner and felt Jay’s hand on your lower back. You nodded slightly “I’m fine” then headed for your desk. Time to compartmentalize. The mom you who was tearing herself apart at the idea of taking away a child’s father had to sit down while the detective you stood up to find the killer of that child’s father and see them rot in a prison cell.

Kevin bumped your hip on the way by “You good lil mama?” you nodded and bumped his shoulder in turn “Always Kev. You ready to do this today?” “Of course” he replied with a wink.

___________

A break finally came in around noon. Hank had feelers out all over the city along with a good amount of 505 funds greasing the wheels. You had a name. The drug dealer who pulled the trigger was the first hit. “Aaron Pilson” You taped the photo on the board. “History of armed robbery, assault, trafficking” 

Hank spoke up “We take no chance. You get the shot, you put him down” everyone nodded “Gear up, we roll in five”

You cut your eyes at Jay before knocking your shoulder against Kevin “C’mon partner” he grinned “I got ya mama” everyone headed down to roll up to grab their gear.

You slipped your vest on and felt hands adjusting the straps before you had time to and wasn’t surprised to find those hands belonged to Jay. “I can do that” you reminded him and he nodded “I know, I just wanted a chance to tell you to stay close to Kev. We have backup for a reason. Come home to Addy” you smiled up at him “Always. You come home to her too” he grinned “Of Course”

He winked at you then walked off to grab the rest of his gear so you did the same.

_________

“CPD FREEZE” You heard the call out from every entrance of the house as your unit breached it. Aaron was your target. He pulled the trigger but you wanted to know who gave him the name. You could hear multiple offenders surrendering around you and the members of your unit calling clear.

“PILSON IS RUNNING” Adam called across the coms so you cut your eyes at Kevin who nodded before you both ran out the side door “WE GOT HIM” Kevin spoke over the coms.

“Oh this bastard,” you muttered. You’d chased him for two blocks. You and Kevin slid around the corner and a piece of wood caught Kevin, knocking him off his feet “KEV!” you hollered as the same piece swung back towards you, only managing to knock your gun out of your hand. You ducked the second swing and managed to grab the wood,twisting to snatch it out of Aaron’s hand and tossed it.

He grinned at you “Feisty, I like it” You spotted Kevin getting to his feet but didn’t take your eyes off Pilson “C’mon asshole. You killed a friend. Take a swing” he swung on you but you blocked with your left forearm then side stepped and caught him under the jaw with your right fist. He staggered and tried to take another swing but Kevin shoved his gun into his neck “Swing on my partner again, please do it”

He held his hands up so you smiled “On your knees” he glared at you but did as you said. You walked over and picked up your piece then walked back to him “Now, who the hell is selling our C.I.s?” he spit towards your feet as an answer. “Wrong answer asshole” you pressed the barrel between his eyes “One more time. Who the hell is selling our C.I.s?”

____________

You stood between Jay and Kevin as Hank read SWAT into what you were walking into. Logan Henderson. He’d been a patrolman at the twenty-first for a few years and somehow hacked the mainframe, you planned to call in some favors to get it backed up to make sure this never happened again.  “This asshole got money hungry. He’s selling C.I.s now, U.C.s could be next” Hank reminded and a look was passed around the group because all of you had more than one undercover persona.

“We go in locked and loaded” Franklin Young, the man over the SWAT team working with your unit agreed. 

You and Kevin were teamed up with a SWAT member, same as every team of intelligence. You stood at ready until Hank and Franklin’s voices came across the coms “BREACH”

You could hear gunfire and yelling. You moved in with a hand on Kevin’s shoulder. You cleared each corner that way. “FREEZE” you heard Hailey’s voice and came around the corner to see Henderson raise his gun towards her and Jay “DROP THE WEAPON” Kevin shouted but Henderson didn’t so more than six guns fired rounds into his chest.

______________

“Do you want me to go with you?” Jay asked because you were going to see Jerry’s wife and take the money Hank was sending considering she was left with a kid because of a dirty cop. You nodded “Please, I don’t know if I can face her and his son alone” he slipped his hand into yours as the two of you walked out of the precinct “We’ll handle it together”

“I have a question” The moment Stella started any sentence with that you wanted to look for your jeep keys to make a quick exit but considering you were at your apartment and she was holding your baby that was out of the option pool. “Yes dear?” you asked and she grinned “She’s almost four months old, who would you feel about me having her for a night? I just I wanted to take her to the aquarium if that’s ok with you and Jay of course! Plus that way you both get a night free!”

“Stel you know I trust you and Kelly with my life but I have to talk to Jay before I give the ok on something like that” her grin got broader “I thought you’d say that but me and him already talked” you raised an eyebrow and pulled out your phone, scrolling through to Jay’s name.

It rang three times before he answered and you accused “Are you conspiring with my sister?” he laughed “Well hello to you too and no, she asked if I was ok with her and Kelly having Addy overnight and taking her to the aquarium. I said yes because we trust them to be her godparents so why not trust them for one overnight? Why? Is that not ok? She said she was going to talk to you”

You sighed “Honey, you talk to me first. You don’t give my sister approval then tell me when I call” “I’m sorry” he said and you laughed lightly “It’s ok. I’ll talk to you later” you told each other bye then hung up. You looked back at Stella “Friday night ok? Me and Jay have the weekend off unless intelligence gets called on a case” she nodded “That’s perfect”

You shook your head “Now that’s settled, we need to talk” her eyebrows nearly hit her hairline “That’s your serious face. What’s up?” you flopped down on the couch and she looked down at Addy “Uh oh. Mama’s upset. Wanna do tummy time?” she got Addy settled for tummy time on a blanket in front of the couch then sat down with her so she was right in front of you.

“Talk to me” she said, grabbing both of your hands in one of hers. “I think I fell” you whispered, not meeting her eyes. When she was quiet for a moment you looked up and she was chewing on her lip like she did when she was thinking “Out with it” she shrugged “You think? Or you did? And if you fell? Does that mean you fell out? Or are you still fallen and fell also?”

Jesus this conversation was confusing. You knew she was asking if you were still in love with Mouse or not. You raised a hand and let it drop “I don’t know but I know when I’m around Jay the world isn’t as loud. He makes it quieter” she smiled and rubbed your hands “Tell him” you took a deep breath “But what if I’m still fallen and fell also?” she shrugged “We’ll handle it but I still think Jay deserves to know” you looked over at Addy who was gnawing on her fist and gurgling to herself “Ok”

You slid off the couch to sit next to her, running a hand over her head and she began to babble. Stella laughed “See? She agrees!”

Friday evening you’d just finished getting Addy a bag packed when there was a knock at your door. You opened it expecting Stella and Kelly but Jay stood at your door. “Hey” you greeted and he smiled “Hey”

You stepped back to let him in and he went to where Addy was on her blanket and scooped her up. “Just couldn’t go until noon tomorrow?” you laughed and he narrowed his eyes at you “Don’t tease me” you smiled “I’m sorry Jay. It’s adorable really. I love how much you love our daughter”

He walked over to you, holding her in his arms “And I came to see if you want to go to dinner with me tonight” you raised an eyebrow “Are you sucking up for something? Did Adam and Kev steal my jeep and you’re the distraction?” “That happened once!” he laughed so you shrugged “Sure. Dressy thing or?” “No, just whatever you’re comfortable in” you grinned “Even better”

Another knock sounded and you rubbed Addy’s back “There’s Aunt Stella and Uncle Kelly” you opened the door and Stella walked in.You clocked the moment she noticed Jay, her eyes getting big “I’m here to get my niece” Jay smiled “Take my baby then’ she laughed when he passed Addy over and Kelly said “We will handle with care, we promise”

You turned in front of the mirror for the fifth time. You texted Stella and she said this outfit was fine. Nice fitting jeans, cute top and comfy, cute boots. Jay had seen you in so much worse. You’d done your hair and makeup well enough too. You heard a knock and checked the time, should be Jay.

You walked over to the door and opened it, freezing when you saw Jay. He was wearing jeans with a black button down shirt and his st michael pendant hanging loose. He grinned at you “You look good” you nodded “So do you” which only made his grin get bigger. 

“Don’t get full of yourself Halstead” you teased before grabbing your jacket. He watched you with a smirk, “Beautiful woman going to dinner with me who happens to be the mother of my child? Yeah I think I have the right to be a little full of myself” you felt your face warm and laughed “Let’s get going” he reached for your hand so you let him take it, lacing your fingers together.

_____________

“That one was not my fault! I had the choice to take the shot or let Ruzek run straight into three bangers hyped up on pcp!” you laughed as Jay teased you about something that happened years ago when intelligence was freshly formed. He grinned around his drink “Oh come on sweetheart even O laughed” you shook your head at him but honestly now that was a good memory. The bust had gone a little sideways but not in the people died way more in the why are there balloon animals and is that guy making face paint type of way. 

You’d missed this part of your relationship with Jay, the teasing easiness that had always been between the two of you. Since you’d gone back to work and the two of you had found a routine with Addy it found its way back and you found yourself falling further and further. You stared at the man across from you as the realization hit you like a truck. You were in love with Jay. You still loved Mouse but the fact remained you’d fallen in love with Jay.

How could you not? He was a gorgeous man, yeah but he was so much more than that. He was an amazing father, he supported you in everything you did. He had the biggest heart and despite the hell he’d seen still managed to fight for the good in the world. He was gentle when it was called for but absolutely deadly when someone needed to be protected.He was one of your best friends. The night you’d spent with him, he’d checked with you more than once to ensure your comfort and since then he’d made sure to not do anything to make you uncomfortable. When he found out you were pregnant he hadn’t hesitated. He was willing to go through anything and anyone for you and your daughter. He stood at your side, letting it be known that he trusted you to be capable of taking care of yourself but he was willing and able to tag in at any moment you needed him.

He called your name lightly and you blinked a few times, a smile slipping onto your face “Yeah?” the smile he gave you in turn was so damn gentle your heart ached “Where’d you go?” you wiped a hand down your face “Can we get out of here Jay? The food was amazing but I want to talk to you about something important and would rather it be somewhere more private”

He nodded slowly “Of course, let me flag down our waitress and I’ll pay”

____________

The entire ride back to your place Jay kept one hand on top of his truck console, holding yours. You smiled when he parked next to your jeep and his thumb rubbed lightly across the back of your hand “We’re in private” he spoke lightly so you turned to look at him. The streetlight hit his eyes just right, the blue seemed to glow.You felt your heart flip “Want to come in? I know Addy isn’t here tonight but I promise I’ll try to be good company”

He smiled “I think I can suffer through your company” he pulled your hand to his lips, pressing a kiss to it before you both climbed out of the truck. He met you at the front of it and slipped his arm around your waist. You shook your head at him but dug your keys out of your pocket as the two of you walked up to your door. Jay always stood behind you, protectively while you unlocked the door as if he was worried that split second of distraction someone may hurt you.

You pushed the door open and stepped inside, looking back at him “Coming in?” he nodded and stepped in behind you, closing the door and locking it by habit. You smiled at the fact that he was so used to your place and slipped your jacket off. He did the same, laying his own the back of the couch.

_________

You walked into the kitchen with the intention to get a bottle of water and could feel Jay’s eyes on you. You weren’t even thirsty, you were stalling. Why were you stalling? This was Jay. You were never safer than around him. Even if he didn’t feel the same it’s not like he was going to be an ass about it. 

You turned back around and walked back into the living room where he stood in the center of it, watching you with a curious expression “We need to talk” he nodded slowly “You mentioned that but I’m waiting on you to start” You ran a hand over your hair and his eyebrows raised “Baby? What is it?” your heart flipped when he called you baby. You shook your head and walked across the room but he followed you, gently grabbing your wrist to turn you towards him and inadvertently putting your back to the wall “Talk to me. It’s just us, you know that no matter what I’m in your corner. You could tell me you killed someone and I’d probably help hide the body”

You laughed lightly “Yeah well so would Stella, Kev and probably Hailey” he rolled his eyes “Ha ha. I’m trying to make a point. I’m not gonna judge you here. You’re nervous and I can’t remember the last time you were nervous around me, hell probably when you first found out you were pregnant. So tell me, please?” You looked from where he still held your wrist up to him and took a deep breath before pulling your wrist away.

His face fell slightly but when instead you put your hands on his chest, one of them playing with the chain of his pendant he smiled, letting his hands fall to your hips. “Talk to me” he urged. You slowly raised your eyes to meet his and your breath caught in your throat at the look in his eyes. He was looking at you like you were one of the most important things to him, like you were absolutely amazing. Was Stella right? 

___________

“I love you Jay” he smiled “I love you” you shook your head “No, I mean I love you. I don’t know when it happened or what it means for the future but I’m in love with you Jay” “What?” he asked and you nodded, feeling the lump in your throat tighten “I don’t expect you to feel the same because Mouse is still there and..” he cut you off by crashing his lips against yours. This kiss wasn’t like the night you two conceived Addy. Those kisses were rushed, fueled by liquor and lust. This one was gentle, coaxing. His tongue flicked at your lips, begging for access and when you allowed it, he pressed you against the wall with his body rolling his tongue against yours and pulling a low moan from you at the feeling.

“Jay” you tried and he pulled back, grabbing your hands in his and pinning them above your head. Your stomach flipped as you looked up into his eyes, the pupils blown and the slow smile working its way onto his face. “I don’t give a damn about anything else. The rest can be figured out as long as you love me” his lips moved from yours to your neck, tongue and teeth teasing the sensitive flesh there “Do you know how hard it’s been to not let that slip? To not tell you how much I’m in love with you?” he whispered against your skin. You whimpered lightly and he groaned “Oh baby, you sound so fucking pretty” 

You swallowed hard and had to try twice to find your voice “Jay, let me touch you” the grin he gave you was enough to make your knees weak “You want to touch me?” you nodded “Please?” his eyes closed for a moment before he released your hands. The moment they were free you started unbuttoning his shirt, lips finding his.

He grinned against your mouth when you shoved his shirt to the floor and let your hands explore his chest and back “Having fun there sweetheart?” you pulled him closer to you, moving from his lips to his neck, working at the spots that pulled small noises from his throat. His hands gripped your hips tightly as you teased the sensitive skin “Fuck baby, how far are you wanting this to go?”

You pulled back from his flesh and looked up at him before pulling your shirt over your head and tossing it down next to his. His tongue flicked out to wet his bottom lip “I don’t have a condom sweetheart” you grinned “I got an IUD back on my six week check up” his eyes widened “Ok then”

____________

You stumbled through the door of your bedroom, lips not leaving each other. Jay gripped your body tightly as you both tumbled to the mattress, his weight pushing you down into it. He looked down at you and smiled so damn sweetly as he pushed your hair out of your face “I love you” “I love you too Jay” you whispered.

He caught your lips in a bruising kiss and you felt his fingers slip under the waistband of your panties, teasing at your clit. When your hips bucked off the bed he chuckled lightly “Damn you’re sensitive” you glared up at him as best as you could give the position “Well it’s been how many months?” he let one thick finger sink into you, pulling a moan of his name from your lips “Too fucking long” he let another join that one, lips finding yours to swallow the moans falling from you.

You could feel that building inside of you and Jay knew you were close because he broke away from your lips to roll one of your nipples between his teeth “That’s it beautiful. Let me feel you come around my fingers” when he turned his wrist enough his thumb could brush against your clit your building orgasm slammed into you. Your vision went white around the edges as you came, thighs shaking lightly as he worked you through it, whispering in your ear how beautiful you looked and how much he loved you.

When you finally came down he pulled his fingers free and held your eyes as he licked them off, eyes closing “I need a taste sweetheart” before you could say anything he was repositioned between your legs, damn near in a kneeled position given his height, looking up at you. You laughed weakly “Jay Halstead on his knees. I could used to that”  he winked at you “For you? I’ll get on my knees any time, any where” then flicked his tongue across your clit, his laughter vibrating against you when you whimpered his name “Sound as beautiful as you are”

It didn’t take him long to have you a quivering mess under him. Your thighs shook around his head and you were fairly certain your orgasms had stacked on top of each other. “Jay, I can’t I fucking can’t” you begged. You couldn’t, you were too overstimulated and he was still working at you with his tongue. He pulled back and kissed you there once more before slowly working his way up your body, mouth mapping out every scar from your work and mark you had from growing his daughter along the way.

When he got to your lips he pressed a gentle kiss against them, letting you taste yourself “You ok darling?” you nodded “Please, I want you inside me” his forehead dropped to your chest “Dammit you’re gonna be the death of me” you felt him move to kick his boxers off before he was positioning himself between your legs, the head of his cock pressing at your entrance.

He looked up at your face “Are you sure? We can stop” you nodded “Please Jay? I love you” he swallowed hard “I love you” and slowly slid into you, a groan leaving you both at the feeling of the stretch.

He stilled once he was inside of you to let you adjust to him. Your hands smoothed down his shoulders as his lips kissed the hollow of your throat “Feel so damn good” he whispered. You tentatively moved your hips and when it didn’t hurt, instead felt so damn amazing your eyes nearly rolled back from such a small movement you whispered “You can move Jay”

He grinned against your skin as he gave a roll of his hips and your nails bit into his back “There she is” he groaned. You shifted your hips to hook your legs around his waist and his left hand moved to grip your right thigh tightly, his right hand supporting his weight as he found a rhythm that had that pleasure quickly building inside of you “Fuck Jay, right there” you moaned and he rolled his bottom lip between his teeth, eyes flickering down to where he was burying himself into you.

“Fuck, I’ve wanted you for so damn long” he grunted, hips snapping into you. His eyes flew back up to yours “Do you know how fucking sexy you were pregnant with my child?” you couldn’t attempt to respond because his fingers found your clit, rubbing tight circles. Your orgasm slammed into you and you were fairly certain you squeezed his waist tight enough with your legs he may have bruises from them and knew he’d have marks from your nails.

He used the grip on your thigh to spread your legs a little further, burying himself a little deeper as his thrusts got sharper trying to find his own release. “Fuck Jay, please let me feel you” you begged and you could feel his grip on you tighten. He hit that spot deep inside of you and your eyes rolled back, another orgasm slamming into you without warning as you felt him give a final thrust before burying himself inside of you, his own release finally hitting him.

The two of you laid like that for a few minutes, working to get your breathing back to normal instead of like you’d just chased someone for seven blocks. He gently eased your legs down and looked up at you, an almost shy look gracing his face “Are you ok baby?” you nodded weakly “I am fuckin amazing”

He chuckled and pressed a gentle kiss to your lips before pulling out of you, apologizing when you hissed between your teeth at the feeling. You watched him walk to the bathroom and turned your head to admire the view, he glanced over his shoulder and shook his head.

He cleaned himself up then came back with a warm rag and gently spread your knees before cleaning you up. He tossed the rag in the dirty laundry in your bathroom then slipped his boxers on “I’m gonna grab you a water” you smiled at him “Will you stop being so damn good to me?” he shook his head “Never”

__________

After he made sure you drank something and found you a shirt to slip on, Jay crawled into bed next to you and pulled you over onto his chest. His fingers were under the shirt, drawing patterns on your thigh considering you had one thrown across his waist. “I meant what I said, the rest can be figured out” he spoke softly in the quiet room and you knew what he meant. You glanced up at him and felt your heart flip. You did love Mouse, you knew that but you were also in love with the man whose arms you were laying in.

“That’s a worry for tomorrow Jay,for tonight let me enjoy finally being as close to you as I want to be” the smile that slipped onto his face was nothing short of heavenly “I love you so damn much. I’ve been in love with you for months. I just didn’t want to scare you” you leaned up to catch his lips in a gentle kiss, feeling his hand grip your thigh gently “I’m sorry if I made you feel like you couldn’t tell me. Just know you made my pregnancy amazing just by being at my side and I love you so much Jay”

He grinned and squeezed your thigh again “I made it amazing?” you nodded “You really did, I don’t know how I would’ve made it this far without you” one of his hands came up to grip the back of your neck and hold your face in place “I promise you no matter what happens as long as I’m breathing you’ll have me in your corner” you shook your head “You’re too good of a man for me Jay” he pulled you into a kiss before saying “Quit saying stuff like that before I have to show you how amazing you are again”

You raised an eyebrow “That a threat or a promise?” his eyes roamed across your body before he laughed “A little bit of both”

You fell asleep curled up on your side with Jay tucked tightly around you. No matter how chaotic your heart and head was he slowed it down, he calmed it and made you feel safe. You knew he would protect your daughter until his last breath. You’d die for him and he’d die for you.

Did you still love Mouse? Yes but he wouldn’t be home until August, you’d face that part of your heart then and no matter the love you carried for Mouse it didn’t undermine the love you had for Jay, nor the love Jay had for you. You would face it head on.

@desimarie12

Part 18

@nevaehstreater18

@allisonargent144

[sailingfireshipz]

The fact that we never saw Aunt Laverne & Uncle Ray again. 😔 😟

CHICAGO FIRE (2012 -)

– 09x10, One Crazy Shift

[sylkiddsey]

Prompt: “I could’ve helped.”

Set in season 12

She’s frozen.

She’s actually physically stuck in front of the tv in the common room. Stella or Violet is behind her, bracing her shoulders.

She can’t move. She can’t think. Her heart is free falling in her damn chest. The tv is broadcasting a breaking news story about a recent shooting.

A shooting in Portland at a firehouse. The firehouse Matt works at. The station her fiancé went to this morning for one of his last shifts.

The one where the reporter has announced multiple injuries on site. The one a gang member walked into and fired shots.

“Brett.”

The voice is muffled by her internal panic but then Severide is kneeling next to her. He looks worried but also confident. “I’m sure he’s okay. He probably wasn’t involved.”

It’s the probably that is tearing her soul. She can’t help but think about the last firehouse shooting at 51. She witnessed him take a bullet, but it was different then. They were friends. They hadn’t fallen in love yet.

Now, she’s the most in love with him (and anyone) she’s ever been. Now he’s the man she’s marrying and building a family with.

She’s white knuckling her phone, willing for Matt to call her back. The second Kidd flagged her down when she got back, Sylvie called him. She called him once, twice, three times and a few dozen after that.

He won’t answer.

“I…this isn’t real,” she whispers, tears filming her eyes. She looks at Severide, then behind her at Stella and the rest of 51. “Right? Tell me this isn’t happening.”

Obviously, no one can.

She doesn’t know if he’s okay. She doesn’t even know if he’s alive. Her head is spinning, and her heart physically hurts.

Mouch places a hand on her back from his spot beside her on the couch. His reading glasses are perched on the edge of his nose as he scrolls on an iPad. “I’m going to find you flight, okay? Just in case.”

Oh god, this isn’t happening. She’s going to pass out.

Severide squeezes her knee. “Boden is making calls. He’ll find something out. It’s going to be fine.”

She appreciates his comfort, but he doesn’t know that. Her voice shakes when she speaks. “Severide, I can’t…”

Lose him.

He nods. “I’m sure he’s fine.”

She’s about to point out the facts but then her phone vibrates in her hand. She almost breaks her neck checking the ID.

She springs from the couch and instantly answers, pushing her way past 51 towards the kitchen. “Matt.”

She hopes it is him and not someone calling from his phone to deliver the worst news possible.

“Hey, I’m okay.”

The sound of his voice breaks her resolve. She lets out a sob and covers her mouth. Her relief, however, worries all of 51. Severide looks panicked from her reaction.

She gives them all a thumbs up to communicate he’s fine. All of 51 looks relieved too.

She’s probably going to be a wreck over this phone, so she wants privacy. She exits the common room and heads towards the locker area.

“Oh my god,” she cries. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” he assures. “I’m sorry. I just got my phone. I would’ve called you sooner.”

She’s just glad he’s calling now. She sits on the floor against her locker. “I’m just so relieved you’re alive. I…I can’t even imagine what I would do if…”

“Hey, don’t go there,” he whispers. “I’m perfectly okay.” He pauses for a second. “Well, more or less.”

Now that she thinks about it, she has heard a lot of voices in the background. It doesn’t sound like he’s home.

“Are you in the hospital?”

He hesitates which gives away the answer.

“Baby, what happened? How bad is it? How could you not lead with that? What hospital?”

He chuckles. “It’s nothing. It’s just a graze.”

What does that mean? What kind of graze?

“Did you get shot?!”

“No, not technically,” he says. “I was grazed by a bullet. I’m fine.”

She’s equally terrified and furious. Matt downplays his injuries. She has no idea what he’d define as a graze.

“You’re not fine. You were shot. Where? Has a doctor seen you yet? Have they disinfected the wound?”

“Honey.” His voice is full of fondness. “I’m okay. A bullet grazed my arm. I barely lost any blood and I needed only a few stitches. Now I’m just waiting for discharge papers. I swear to you, miss paramedic, I’m fine.”

She has a hard time believing that but she’s going to try for her own sanity. “Okay. Okay, you’re fine. How is everyone else?”

He sighs. “Everyone is going to make it. The guy who fired the gun definitely isn’t though. We’re all okay for the most part.”

That’s a relief. She’s gotten to know the people he worked with while in Portland. She likes everyone there.

“I wish I could’ve been there,” she whispers, shutting her eyes. A tear rolls down her cheek.

“I don’t. Sylvie, I don’t want you anywhere near that. I’m just glad you’re safe in Chicago,” he replies. “Plus, there isn’t anything you could’ve done.”

She’d argue that.

“I could’ve helped. I’m a paramedic and you’re, you know, my man. I could’ve taken care of you.”

He laughs. “Your man, huh?”

Sylvie grins. “Yes.” She glances down at her engagement ring and blinks back tears. “I just…I really thought I lost you, Matt.”

“Hey, that’s never going to happen,” he replies. “Do you really think I’d let a little bullet get in the way of making you my wife after all these years?”

She smiles because she knows he’s right. He’d fight like hell to come home to her but that doesn’t mean terrible things can’t happen.

“I love you so much,” she says. “And if you were here right now, I’d kill you for doing this to me and Severide.”

“Well good thing I’m in Portland then. I know what you’re capable of and it’s scary as hell.”

He’s such a dork.

“Hey, I love you so much too, baby,” Matt says. “And I’m genuinely sorry I scared you. I’ll make it up to you when I’m back in Chicago.”

She’ll hold him to that.

[alittlextrathatway]

Line: "I close my eyes and the flashback starts." Location: hospital

This is not how Matt envisioned spending his first day home. He truly believed the worst was over now that he was back on Chicago’s hallowed ground. He and Sylvie made it through. They were together again and planning a life together. What could go wrong?

Everything. The answer is everything.

In all his time working for the CFD, he had never once heard of a bomb being mailed to anyone. But especially not a firehouse.

And now Sylvie is in the ER. He wasn’t at 51, he didn’t watch it happen, but he got a call from Stella afterward. She wasn’t sure of Sylvie’s condition. The scene was chaotic, she never saw her, but she knows she was loaded into an ambo and driven away.

Fear squeezes his heart like a vice. The waiting area is full of first responders, already wanting to know how to support 51. Thankfully, the bomb didn’t go off inside the firehouse or this could have been a lot worse. It’s all the comfort he can manage until he sets his eyes on Sylvie.

He storms through the waiting area and passes the double doors into the ED. Everyone else may be waiting patiently but he isn’t. His fiancée is through those doors. The mother of their newly adopted daughter is in danger. He’d take a sledge to the hospital wall to get to her if he had to. There’s no stopping him.

Maggie must have predicted he would barge in as he pleased because she’s waiting for him in front of the nurse’s station.

“Kidd said Sylvie’s—“

“She’s fine, Casey. She’s okay.”

“No offense, Maggie, but I’d like to judge that for myself.”

She points behind him to Trauma 3 and Matt hurriedly spins around. The flashback hits him with as much force as a halligan to the head. It takes him back to that day, years ago now, where she fell through the floor. The day he had to watch her cry through tears of physical pain. The day they lost Otis.

Because sitting on the hospital bed, feet dangling over the edge, is Sylvie. Her arm in a sling, her face covered in dust, and tears in her eyes. She looks small and scared but whole. Blessedly whole.

“Thank god,” Matt mutters, taking a deep breath as he steps into the small room.

“Matt!” Sylvie exclaims, throwing her good arm around him.

“Hey,” he says, pulling her as close as he can without jostling her arm. The same arm she broke in the Arnow collapse. “I’m here.” He leans back and frames her face with his hands, thumbs swiping at tracks of tears on her cheeks. “Are you okay? What happened?”

“That poor delivery driver,” she says, with a shaky inhale. She pauses to exhale, willing herself to calm down. “I don’t think it was supposed to happen that way, Matt. He picked up the package and turned to face the house and then…all of a sudden I was thrown into the back of the open ambo. My elbow slammed into the stretcher and now I’m here. God, it happened so fast I don’t even know if — oh god, how’s everyone else? Do you know? Have you talked to anyone?”

He closes his eyes, imagining all the ways today could have cost him everything, and then forces the images away. Right now, Sylvie needs him and panicking over how close he came to a life without her won’t help. He kisses her grimey forehead and then presses his against her temple, pressing her to his side.

“Just Stella. She didn’t know much either. The scene at 51 is chaos and she’s working with Boden to try and get a head count.”

Sylvie rubs her good hand across her forehead as she takes in the only new information he has. “Well,” she says meeting his eyes with a loud sniffle. “Welcome home, I guess. Some first day, huh?”

“Any day you’re with me is better than most,” he assures her. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” she replies, relaxing into his arms. “God, I’m glad you’re here. I don’t know if I could handle this without you.”

He’s glad he’s here too. He can’t imagine hearing about this from the other side of the country. Now, more than ever, he’s glad he came to his senses and proposed. From here on out, they’ll never have to deal with a crisis like this alone again. They’ll always figure it out. Together.

***

This is kinda based on some things I’ve seen and heard about 12x01 filming. As usual, I’m probably wrong lol.

Send me a Taylor Swift or Kelsea Ballerini lyric and location to my ask box! I’ll write you a Brettsey fic too! 💗

[sailingfireshipz]

Just over here fighting the urge to scream into the void about Stella Kidd hopping on a plane to Alabama to bring her husband home.... like, I'd imagine he had no clue she was coming & I'm sure when she showed up, she was pissed yet happy to see him. How did she find him? What did she say? What did he say? She said she had to pretty much put him in handcuffs & drag him home, which means I'm sure they argued about it extensively. It took SIX months for them to rebuild their trust? Oh, to be a fly on the wall. It's like you can't look, but also, you can't look away. Because i know that argument was angsty, and i know the makeup was even more emotionally charged. Oh, I'd pay gooood good money to have seen that in a flashback or something. idk take all their angstiest moments triple them, then add all their steamiest moments, and you MIGHT land on it. 😩

[sailingfireshipz]

Ooooooh, you're beautiful mind! It's happening

y’all here me out for a second. in the infection crossover we got kelly telling stella that he’d go in bed with stella, their kids, and grandkids surrounding him. what if in this crossover we get stella telling kelly she’s ready for kids