#stel ball run

[wald-prinz]

GyJo sketch from a couple weeks ago that I SFW-ed for Tumblr

[luke-hughes43]

Stella Gets Hurt

(disclaimer, the injury aspect of this is not fully true. the how and nature of the injury is accurate but the diagnosis and treatment stuff is totally not accurate.)

(also, I used to play softball so I might’ve gotten a little carried away with the in game detail.)

~

stella’s pov

so today is Ohio state at home. it’s the last game before big ten’s start. luke and the boys lost in Boston at the frozen four which was devastating but him and the other freshman have been at every home game since they got back. 

I’m batting 3rd and playing center field like every other game this year. I’m one homerun away from the ncaa single season homerun record by a freshman. I’m at 30 and I just need one more.

it’s the 4th inning, osu had a homerun in the first to get them on the board with the lead. I lead off the inning and on the third pitch, which is in my sweet spot, I swing and crush the ball. 

the ball lands over the fence in center field as I go to round 1st base and I smile. the michigan fans are going wild, and I can make out Luke’s voice in the crowd cheering for me. as my foot makes contact with first base, my right knee gives out.

there’s a pop and I clutch my knee in pain. 

the tears start flowing from the pain, but I’m trying to force myself to stand so that I can make my way around the bases. at this point the whole stadium has gone quiet and I can hear luke say, “stel?” somehow I force myself up but I fall as soon as I try to walk to second.

eventually I make it to 2nd base but I can’t force myself to keep going anymore. it hurts too much. I just end up holding my knee at 2nd while the trainer comes out to see me. he asks, “what happened? where does it hurt?”

I explain, “there was a pop in my right knee as I round first. I tried to keep going because if I didn’t then the run doesn’t count but it hurts so much.”

“ok, just breathe for a second z. I’ll have a better picture of what’s going on once I get you to the training room, how does that sound?”

“I need to touch the bases first. my season is over, touching home is 31 and the record will be mine. I need this. please.” I explain to him. he nods and goes to talk to the umpire. he comes back and says, “you would have to touch all the bases yourself for it to count.”

I nod and he helps me stand. I take a few deep breathes and start slowly walking towards 3rd. I hear luke say, “come on baby. you got it.” I make it half way to 3rd before I have to stop because it hurts too much. two girls from osu ask the umpire, “blue, if we help her touch the bases, will it count?”

“I don’t see why not.” he responds, and so the two girls come over and help me up. we start the journey to home plate and the girl wearing number 3 says, “I’m ashley by the way.”

I give a faint smile, “stella.” the girl wearing number 7 adds, “sarah. that was a great hit. we know it was for the ncaa freshman record.”

 as we round third, ashley then says, “our schools may have a long hatred for each other but you earned this record so we wanna give it to you. especially since your season is probably over.”

I smile, “this means more than I’ll ever be able to tell you both.” I make eye contact with luke and I can tell that he’s worried. I don’t really change my facial expression because I don’t know what to say. sarah says, “it’s the least we can do.”

ashley asks, “that your boyfriend?”

I nod and say, “we’ve been together almost two years. he’s my whole world.”

they both smile and when we get one step away from the plate, we stop. They let go and say, “you deserve to touch home on your own volition.” I nod and thank the both again before stepping out and making contact with the plate. the crowd claps and cheers for me reaching home and emerson and lauren immediately wrap their arms around me so I don’t fall.

as emerson and lauren guide me to the dugout and trainers room, I see bella waving Luke to come down and he does. he meets me at the trainers room. when I get in the trainers room and finally sit down, I start sobbing from the pain. luke comes over and holds me while I cry, “shhh, you’re ok baby. just take breath sweet girl. it’s gonna be ok baby.”

I bury my head in his chest and grip him tight. he holds me tight to him and I cry my pain out. I sob, “it hurts so much.”

“I know stel, I know. just breath. it’ll be ok. we’ll get through this together.” luke says and tightens his hold on me. he softly scratches my scalp to try and relax me. the training staff walks in and the trainer says, “oh sorry, I can come back and give you some time.”

I shake my head, “no, you don’t have to.” I wipe my tears as they come over and I hold luke’s hand tight while they evaluate my knee. after about 10 minutes, the trainer says to me, “I got bad news kiddo.”

“it’s my acl isn’t? I felt the pop, and I know the look on your face.” I ask and he just nods. I feel the tears streaming down my face and I just lean my head on Luke’s arm and let out a breath that I didn’t know I was holding. the trainer says, “we’ll still need an MRI to confirm but everything is looking like an ACL tear. I’m sorry kid. I already scheduled the MRI, it’s tonight at 8:30 at the hospital. we’ll have the results on monday.”

I nod and just try to focus on anything but the pain and a season ending injury. the trainer has me put a brace on and hands me crutches to use for the time being. he gives me space to do what I need to and I say to Luke, “can you help me to the locker room? I need to get my phone to call my mom.”

he nods, “of course stel.” just as we go to leave the training room, bella walks in with my bag, phone, and ethan. she says, “how you doing baby girl? what’s the diagnosis?”

“acl. I have the MRI tonight to confirm but it’s the acl. I’ll be out until next season. and oh my fucking god does it hurt.” I say. bella’s face drops and forms a frown on it. she takes my free hand and gives it a soft squeeze. ethan gives me a fist bump and says, “sorry about your knee dude. but you got the record, and no one can ever take that away from you.”

I smile softly at ethan and do my best to curl into luke. he wraps an arm around me and says, "I’m gonna take her back to the dorms so she can call her mom. and then I’m going with her to the MRI. well catch up later with you guys.”

they both nod and luke helps me down and then back to my dorm. Luke helps me change and then gets me settled in bed. he hands me my phone so I can call my mom. she picks up on the first ring, “stel?”

“momma, it’s bad.” I choke out. she says, “what happened honey? we saw you go down but they cut the feed after that.”

“it’s my acl. and it hurts so much. but I got the record. today was 31.” I say and force a smile. she also smiles, “I’m so proud of you baby. is there a plan for the knee?”

“MRI tonight and then on monday I’ll find out the official word and then the plan. I don’t need you to fly out so stop looking for flights. I’m ok for now, I have luke and Bella.”

“I know but your still my daughter and you need your mom sometimes.” she tries to reason with me. I shake my head, “I just want you to come out for surgery. I wanna have the surgery out here.”

“ok, we can figure that out. Call me again monday when you know more information ok?” she asks. I nod and she says, “I love you honey, get some rest please.”

“I will. bye mom.”

after that, she hangs up and I cuddle into Luke until I have to go for the mri. I ask quietly, “lukey?”

“yea?”

“can I get a kiss please?” I say almost whispering. he smiles and then leans down to kiss me softly. when he pulls away he says, “you never have to ask stel.” he kisses me again, “I love you stella.”

“I love you too.”

he then climbs into bed to cuddle with me. he pulls me close to him and says, “get some rest sweet girl. I’ll wake you when it’s time for your MRI. just get some rest baby.”

he rubs my back and right before I drift off to sleep I hear him whisper, “god I love you Stella. forever my best girl.”

[news365timesindia]

[ad_1] It was a night to remember for Abhishek Sharma. (PC: X/BCCI) In the heart of Mumbai, the city of dreams, Abhishek Sharma delivered a performance that turned England’s evening into a nightmare. The young all-rounder sparkled with the bat, unleashing a blistering 135 off just 54 balls, a display of both power and grace. But his brilliance didn’t end there as he returned to the field with the ball, claiming two wickets in the solitary over he bowled, completing an unforgettable all-round display.  India surged to an imposing total of 247, and England, in response, were left reeling. The visitors crumbled to a mere 97, enduring a crushing 150-run defeat in the final T20I. It was a one-sided spectacle, a fitting reflection of India’s complete dominance in the series, which they wrapped up with a 4-1 scoreline. England never quite found their footing with the bat, stumbling from the moment Phil Salt departed, as the Men in Blue swept the game away with ease. It was one of those magical nights for Abhishek, where everything he touched turned to gold. What stood out in his innings was not reckless slogging, but the sheer elegance with which he played his shots. His balance, precise footwork and clean stroke-making were the hallmarks of his knock. Even during the quieter middle overs, when he was away from the strike, he remained unfazed. England’s pacers kept testing him, but he dispatched them with authority. The spinners fared no better, conceding 70 runs in just five overs.   Scoring 247 in a T20 match is a rarity, yet there was a sense that India could have posted an even bigger total. There was a phase when only two overs produced double-digit runs, largely due to England’s tactical effort to keep Abhishek off strike. The visitors managed to regain some control after the drinks break, with Brydon Carse picking up three quick wickets. Abhishek was deprived of the strike during this period, slowing India’s charge. Though Shivam Dube’s brisk 30 provided a late boost, wickets continued to tumble at the other end. Sanju Samson’s struggles against the short ball continued as he fell to it for the fifth consecutive time in the series. However, that was England’s only breakthrough in the Powerplay. After that, Abhishek took complete control, launching a blistering assault on the bowlers. He raced to a 17-ball fifty, making him the second-fastest Indian to achieve the milestone, and then stormed to a century in just 37 balls — the second-fastest T20I hundred in matches between full-member nations. Even in the death overs, he provided the finishing touches before eventually departing.   Tilak Varma chipped in with a quickfire 24 off 15 balls, while Abhishek continued his fireworks from the other end. India dominated the first half of the innings, amassing 143 runs for the loss of just two wickets. With Abhishek at the crease, England faced the daunting prospect of conceding well over 270, with even a 300-run total looking possible at one stage. However, the visitors managed to claw things back in the latter stages of the innings.   England’s chase, apart from a quick fifty from Salt, never really took off. In fact, they suffered yet another collapse. Spin proved to be their undoing, a recurring theme throughout the series. Abhishek, Varun Chakravarthy and Ravi Bishnoi shared five wickets between them, while Mohammed Shami delivered a stellar performance, claiming three scalps. Dube also made an impact at his home ground, striking twice in the middle overs to ensure England had no way back into the game. The post Abhishek 135, England 97 all out appeared first on Sports News Portal | Latest Sports Articles | Revsports. [ad_2] Source link

[news365times]

[ad_1] It was a night to remember for Abhishek Sharma. (PC: X/BCCI) In the heart of Mumbai, the city of dreams, Abhishek Sharma delivered a performance that turned England’s evening into a nightmare. The young all-rounder sparkled with the bat, unleashing a blistering 135 off just 54 balls, a display of both power and grace. But his brilliance didn’t end there as he returned to the field with the ball, claiming two wickets in the solitary over he bowled, completing an unforgettable all-round display.  India surged to an imposing total of 247, and England, in response, were left reeling. The visitors crumbled to a mere 97, enduring a crushing 150-run defeat in the final T20I. It was a one-sided spectacle, a fitting reflection of India’s complete dominance in the series, which they wrapped up with a 4-1 scoreline. England never quite found their footing with the bat, stumbling from the moment Phil Salt departed, as the Men in Blue swept the game away with ease. It was one of those magical nights for Abhishek, where everything he touched turned to gold. What stood out in his innings was not reckless slogging, but the sheer elegance with which he played his shots. His balance, precise footwork and clean stroke-making were the hallmarks of his knock. Even during the quieter middle overs, when he was away from the strike, he remained unfazed. England’s pacers kept testing him, but he dispatched them with authority. The spinners fared no better, conceding 70 runs in just five overs.   Scoring 247 in a T20 match is a rarity, yet there was a sense that India could have posted an even bigger total. There was a phase when only two overs produced double-digit runs, largely due to England’s tactical effort to keep Abhishek off strike. The visitors managed to regain some control after the drinks break, with Brydon Carse picking up three quick wickets. Abhishek was deprived of the strike during this period, slowing India’s charge. Though Shivam Dube’s brisk 30 provided a late boost, wickets continued to tumble at the other end. Sanju Samson’s struggles against the short ball continued as he fell to it for the fifth consecutive time in the series. However, that was England’s only breakthrough in the Powerplay. After that, Abhishek took complete control, launching a blistering assault on the bowlers. He raced to a 17-ball fifty, making him the second-fastest Indian to achieve the milestone, and then stormed to a century in just 37 balls — the second-fastest T20I hundred in matches between full-member nations. Even in the death overs, he provided the finishing touches before eventually departing.   Tilak Varma chipped in with a quickfire 24 off 15 balls, while Abhishek continued his fireworks from the other end. India dominated the first half of the innings, amassing 143 runs for the loss of just two wickets. With Abhishek at the crease, England faced the daunting prospect of conceding well over 270, with even a 300-run total looking possible at one stage. However, the visitors managed to claw things back in the latter stages of the innings.   England’s chase, apart from a quick fifty from Salt, never really took off. In fact, they suffered yet another collapse. Spin proved to be their undoing, a recurring theme throughout the series. Abhishek, Varun Chakravarthy and Ravi Bishnoi shared five wickets between them, while Mohammed Shami delivered a stellar performance, claiming three scalps. Dube also made an impact at his home ground, striking twice in the middle overs to ensure England had no way back into the game. The post Abhishek 135, England 97 all out appeared first on Sports News Portal | Latest Sports Articles | Revsports. [ad_2] Source link

[ancient4liens]

stel ball run x nyan neko sugar grils

[neverendingparable]

"Stellan."

Stellan looks up from the morning cup of coffee he's having in Morayne's Lounge to see Maso, more furious than Stel has ever seen him before. He looks like he can barely control himself, fists balled until the knuckles turned white. He's not angry at Stellan, that's as much as he could tell but whatever pissed him off must have been severe.

"Maso," He starts carefully, placing his cup aside. "Calm down, okay? What happened-"

"Thursday."

"What?"

Maso can barely get a full sentence out.

"Rex." He spits the name out, as if it was something rotten on his tongue.

"Rex hurt Thursday?" Stellan frowns. "That's...okay. Okay, we'll deal with it-"

"When? When does anyone around here do anything? Why has it been an entire fucking year and Rex is still around, still hurting my friends? Are you going to do something? Is Neil? Tell me what the fuck you are waiting around for!"

"Calm down!" He raises his voice over Maso's angry shouting, hoping to regain control of the situation. He's not afraid of Maso, but seeing the other so angry makes him wary of what might come next. The last thing they need is an Office wide bloodbath birthed out of revenge. "Listen, we can figure out something. Just...come. Sit down and tell me what happened. Whatever it is, Rex won't get away with it, okay? I promise."

"I'll kill him, Stellan. I'm going to kill him with my bare hands." They were beyond soothing voices at this point. "I'll make whatever Alice did to him look like child's play."

"Maso-"

The ex-fusion turns away from him quickly, teeth gritted, but Stellan sees it anyway. The beginning of tears welling up in the corners of his eyes. This isn't just about Rex - it's just the final straw that broke the camel's back. He's not going to be able to talk Maso out of anything, not this time.

Stellan runs a hand through his hair and sighs.

"Okay." He says softly. "Tell me what you need from me. Do you want me to call Neil? Molly? She's been waiting for a moment to run Rex through with her sword, I see no reason to hold her off now. I can also-"

"Get Icarus for me."

"I- what?"

"I want Icarus."

"...fine. I don't know if he'll show up for Rex but I'll call him." 

It's about time Icarus got back into the habit of fixing Office problems, now that he's back. Stellan thinks as he gets up to join Maso in the middle of the Lounge. He placed a hand on the other's shoulder, giving him a gentle, comforting smile.

Maso relaxes a little once he sees Stel believes him and isn't going to fight him on this. But no amount of comfort is going to stop him from feeling deep, unbridled rage. 

It doesn't matter if it's Rex or Vir, they're all the same to Maso. He's going to make them regret ever fucking with his friend.

[blazedgraysons]

babe can u bless us w some new years smut w papi gray ?

oml i’m sorry it took me so long to finish this but of course, angel!! lmaoo let’s start the new year out with some hate sex with gray.

warnings: so i guess the words papi gray triggered something in me because i don’t really know what this is anymore. anyways hatefucking, a smidge of choking, some dirty talk and the return of my fave: cocky fuckboy grayson. anyways hope you like it bby <333

New Year’s had never been your favorite holiday. Too many blacked-out people in a bar, all with high hopes for the year that come quickly crashing down the next day along with their hangovers. Plus, it doesn’t help that you’ve been puked on two NYEs in a row.

It wasn’t like you had a personal vendetta against the holiday, just the older you got, the more you wanted to spend New Years' at home. So you ended up creating your own traditions: Indian food, shitty beer, and rewatching your favorite chick flicks.

This is why you were so surprised to find yourself outside of a huge party this year. Your two best friends had dragged you with them, explaining how they didn’t want to ring in New Year’s without you.

“I look like a disco ball.” You groan as the three of you walk in, Ali and Stella confidently leading the way.

“You look hot.” Ali assures, smiling in what you figure is supposed to be a comforting way. She had been the one to invite the two of you tonight, and a part of you feels bad for your miserable attitude, knowing that she just wanted to spend time with you.

“Warning: Dolan at 3 O’Clock.” Your other friend, Stella, whispers into her red solo cup, and you can feel your bad mood return. Turning your head slightly, you can see Grayson Dolan walking in with his entourage, already acting as if he owns the room.

You can hear Ali snapping at Stella, reminding her how they agreed not to point him out tonight, but all you can focus on is how arrogant Grayson looked.

The two of you had never gotten along, a wrong first date leaving each other permanently on the other’s shit list. Despite your disdain for another, the two of you ran in the same friend group, so you saw each other more often than you like. At this point, everyone knew to keep you two far away from each other unless they wanted a whole night of insults, fighting, and yelling.

“Remind me why you two hate each other again? It’s been like two years.” Stella asks nonchalantly, tilting her head as she holds up her drink.

“We just do. He was a dick on our date. Some people aren’t meant to get along.”

“Aw, you two just need to kiss and makeup.” Ali coos, fixing your hair.

“More like fuck and makeup. So what if you had a bad date. The two of you still have this weird sex thing that needs to be figured out.” Stella interjects.  

“I do not-“ Your friends start laughing at your loud objection, watching as your face grows hot in embarrassment.

“I do not want to fuck him!” You hiss, hiding your face from nosy onlookers.

“Why not? I would; he’s fucking hot.” Stella whispers, gesturing over to him. All three of you look over at where he’s standing against the kitchen counter, laughing loudly with his group of friends.

You hated to admit it, but she was right: he really was super attractive. He’s simply dressed in jeans and a black t-shirt, denim jacket finishing everything off. It’s nothing special, but you hate the fact that he still somehow managed to look better than everyone else here.

He looks over, smirking when he sees your little group staring at him. All three of you turn away, doing a horrible job at trying to look inconspicuous. Your back is turned towards him as you fix your hair and smoothing out your dress. Ali’s eyes light up suddenly, and she’s whispering to Stella before turning back to you.

“Stella has to pee; we’ll be right back.” She rushes out while dragging Stella to the nearest bathroom. Before you can protest, Grayson’s taking their spot.

He’s chewing his gum obnoxiously, and you can’t help the way your eyes focus on how his jaw moves with every bite.

“Didn’t think I’d see you here tonight, Y/N.”

“Yeah, I was just leaving. Decided it’s not really for me anymore.” You get out, moving past him to walk to the door. You figured you can just call an Uber and text your two friends you were feeling sick. Before you can make it past, he grabs your arm to stop you.

“C’mon, it’s the last day of the year. Can’t you be nice to me just for tonight?” He asks, eyes shining with mischief.

“ Don’t you have some other girl to mess with?” You yank your wrist back, walking off as he follows you.

“Why? You jealous.” He asks, and you know that arrogant smirk is painted on his face.

“Over you? Hardly.” You keep moving until he says something that has you stopping in your tracks.

“Did you wear that dress for me tonight?” Your jaw clenches, annoyance washing over your body. However, you figure two can play this game, so you turn around, walking towards him with a flirtatious expression on your face. He’s looking down at you, appreciating the way your attitude has done a complete 180. You wrap your arms around his neck and bring his face towards yours, leaning in as if you’re going to kiss him.

“Fuck you.” You whisper, mouth millimeters away from his. You turn away, turning to look at him over your shoulder one last time. The irritated expression on his face and his clenched jaw should’ve warned you that you were playing with fire. Still, you simply keep walking forward, choosing to look for Ali and Stella.

Maybe you could stay a little longer to see how this plays out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fuck Grayson Dolan.

At this point, you weren’t sure if you were angrier at him or if you actually wanted to fuck him.

All you know is he was pushing every last button.

It started with constant flirting - just with everyone else besides you. You knew Grayson was a tease, but you swore he had given every girl at this party his signature charming smile. The one that screamed, 'I'm Grayson Dolan, and you're the only one here for  me.' You had pretended like you hadn’t seen red when he leaned down to whisper a joke in some girl's ear, winking at you when he notices the way your eyes had narrowed and your lips were puckered.

It only got worse when he decided he needed a refill on his drink, coming up to where you were standing in the hallway. He slyly placed his hands low on your waist, pressing up against you to squeeze by even though you both knew that there was more than enough space.

You were in the middle of debating on whether or not you should finally leave for good this time, figuring you shouldn’t have to subject yourself to this torture when you still have leftover takeout in your fridge.

“Hey, we need to talk to you. Can you meet us in the upstairs bedroom in like 5 minutes?” Ali appears out of nowhere, blonde curls messed up as if she’s been running her hands nervously through her hair. Stella just nods casually, and you look at the two of them suspiciously.

“What are you two planning?” You ask.

“Nothing! Upstairs. Five minutes!” Ali assures, kissing you on the cheek before walking off again. You can tell she’s drunk, smelling the lingering vodka shots on her breath. However, curiosity gets the better of you, and after five minutes, you’re slowly walking up the stairs.

“Ali? Stel?” You call out, getting nothing in response. You keep walking until you reach the end of the hallway, closed door in front of you. You open it, greeted with the sight of Grayson in front of you.

“What the fuck?” You both exclaim, the door closing behind you. You jangle the door handle, cursing under your breath when you realize it’s locked.

“We’re not letting you out until you guys kiss!” Ali calls out.

“You guys got 20 minutes until midnight.” Stella laughs, both still holding the door tightly to keep you from breaking through.

“Oh my God, we’re not fucking 12. This isn’t 7 minutes in heaven.”

“Less talking, more frenching!” Ali yells, giggling loudly as her heels slowly click away.

You roll your eyes, “You two are the fucking worst.” You kick the door before sliding down against it, tilting your head against the door.

“Your friends are weird.” are the first words out of Grayson’s mouth, and you roll your eyes.

“They mean well, they’re just really … stupid sometimes.”You get back up to your feet and start knocking on the door, hitting it with your palms, anything that could hopefully get a passerby’s attention.

“Can you stop banging on the door? It’s annoying.” Grayson mumbles out from where he’s sitting up on the bed after five minutes of your obnoxious knocking.

“I’m sorry, did you want to spend New Year’s locked in here with one another. I’m trying to get out.”

He leans back down on the bed, covering his eyes with his arms. “You realize it’s locked; we’re stuck in here. No one’s coming up here for a while.”

You hate to admit it, but you know he’s right. With only 20 minutes until midnight, everyone’s going to be downstairs, not wanting to miss the main event. You walk over to the dresser, sitting on top of it as you pull out your phone to find someone to text for an emergency rescue.

“We really should just sleep with one another.”

You nearly drop your phone in your lap from his sudden outburst. “I think that’s the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard.”

“Why not? I think you’re hot; I know you think I’m hot. Stop- don’t try to argue with me; I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I’m not paying attention. Let’s just get this over with; clear start to 2021.” He looks over at you, raising an eyebrow.

You roll your eyes, “I’m not sleeping with you Grayson.”

“What, scared you might actually like it?” He pushes himself up off the mattress and stalks over to where you’re seated on top of the dresser. You start to feel uncharacteristically timid, not knowing how to react under his dark gaze. You don’t say anything, just watching the way his eyes rake over your entire body slowly.

He takes a deep breath, “If I kiss you right now, will you let me?” You wait a second before throwing on caution to the wind, and nodding, deciding to give in to whatever tension is growing between you.

He leans down, softly kissing you before coming back to gauge your reaction.

“If you kiss anything like the way you fuck, this is gonna fucking suck.” You whisper, smiling at the way his face drops. He pulls you into him, forcing his lips onto yours roughly. It’s messy, teeth clashing into one another, noses bumping, and you love it. You didn’t want softness, you didn’t want intimacy, you wanted Grayson to let out everything he felt towards you.

He starts to roughly mark down your neck, leaving dark marks, and you whimper, desperately pulling his jacket off his shoulders. He leans back slightly, pulling his shirt over his head and your mouth falls slightly. You take in all the deep contours and ridges, not even missing the way he flexes briefly.

“Like what you see?” He rasps out, pants growing tighter at your open arousal.

“Just because we’re fucking doesn’t mean I’m another one of your fans. I still fucking hate you.” You pull your dress off and spread your legs slightly on the dresser. You mentally thank Ali for forcing you to skip wearing a bra because the way Grayson’s face zeros in on your bare tits has you whimpering softly. He moves even closer to you.

“Doesn’t seem like you hate me right now.” He whispers, eyes darkening at the dark spot growing on your underwear. His arms are on either side of your thighs as he’s standing in between your legs. You can feel the heat coming off from his body, close enough that you can pick up the subtle nerves in his energy under waves of excitement.

“Whatever.” You’re trying your hardest to remain unaffected, calm under his intense gaze. Still, between the lack of touch and the way he’s looking like he can’t figure out how he wants to ruin you first, you start to squirm.

He pulls roughly at your underwear; you watch as his biceps bulge until the fabric falls apart in his hands. Whatever facade of calmness you were trying to maintain flies out the window. You swallow deeply, eyes wide as he tosses the ruined underwear over his shoulder with a cocky smirk. The smug look on his face is enough for you to snap back to normal and return to your usual backtalk.

“Watch it, asshole. Those aren’t cheap.”

“Trust me, I’ll buy you two more to make up for it. Now shut up; you talk too much.” With that, he’s leaning down and sucking your clit hard.

You’re not quick to compliment Grayson, but you can admit he’s incredible at eating pussy. He genuinely sounds like he’s ready to die in between your legs, quietly groaning to himself with every suck and lick. Your breath hitches at the imagery, and he’s slowly licking up your slit, savoring the way you taste for him. He gives you a few more licks before he starts sucking at your clit again, and you can feel yourself growing closer.

“Fuck, Gray- I’m about to cu-“ Before you can finish, he’s pulling away and smiling up at you with shiny lips.

“Fuck you.” You practically spit out, and he just laughs shortly, amusement barely hidden in his face.

“Before I make you cum, I wanna hear you ask nicely.” He’s leaning into you again, lips hovering yours, mirroring the same position you had him in earlier. You push his shoulder, hoping to give you some distance, but he stays firmly planted in place.

“If you think I’m gonna beg for your sorry excuse of a dick -“

He cuts you off, fingers slipping inside you, and he starts curling his fingers, your back arching into his touch. With how close you were to your orgasm, you’re falling apart in a matter of seconds. You start whimpering out his name, and he stills all his movements, thumb hovering over your clit.

“Beg.” He demands, and neither of you misses the way you tightly clench around him from the change of tone in his voice.

You stare at him long until he lightly brushes your clit, reminding you of what you’re missing in your stubbornness. You sigh dramatically before swallowing your pride and saying:

“Grayson, fuck me.” He stares at you pointedly, and you sigh again.

“Please, Gray. Want you to fuck me, please.” You whisper. It’s not a lot, but he knows that’s probably the most he’s going to get out of you at this moment, so he just smiles proudly and starts moving his fingers again. The coil in your stomach starts to grow tighter, and your toes curl when you start cumming all of your fingers. You cry out, nails scratching down his stomach as he continues to move his hand to work you through your orgasm.

He leans back, sucking up everything on his fingers before unbuckling and taking his pants and underwear off. You were glad he had made you cum before because he was big, bigger than anyone you’ve ever been with before. He brushes his dick over your entrances a few times, tapping his dick lightly on your clit. You whimper slightly, and he winks, arrogant persona back in full force.

“You’re still a dick.” You whisper, no real sting to your words.

“Yeah, I know.” He strokes his dick lightly before sinking in, and both of you moan out from the initial feeling.

He starts snapping his hips relentlessly, not giving you time to adjust to his pace. Your eyes begin to roll back, only able to focus on the wood digging into your back, arm wrapped around your waist, and dick ramming roughly into you. You’re moaning out constantly, nothing able to come to mind to express how good he’s making you feel.

However, Grayson is starting to get frustrated, not satisfied with the way you’ve laid out in front of him. He picks you up, holding you close to him before dropping you carelessly on the bed. Before you can say anything, he’s twisting your body around, so you’re on all fours in front of him and is sliding back into you, taking you from behind. You’re arching underneath him, allowing him to reach you even deeper as you moan out. He’s practically fucking you into the mattress, and from your constant sounds and ass jiggling in front of him, he’s releasing a guttural groan.  

He places an arm next to your head while wrapping a large hand around your throat, lightly cutting off your air. His body is entirely over yours, encasing your entire body in his large frame. It all starts to get to be too overwhelming, and your mind starts to go blank from the pleasure, pulling at the railings to get away from how hard he’s fucking into you while also leaning back into him to get more.

“Stop running; thought you wanted to see how good I can fuck you.” He moves his hand to slap your ass, and his dick jumps from the way you start squeezing around him. He rubbing your ass, ready to spank you again, when the both of you stop from loud screams coming below you. You both hear yells about countdowns and New Year’s and Grayson’s leaning down, rutting himself into you before whispering in your ear -

“How much you wanna bet I can get you to cum before midnight?”

10!

You didn’t think he could go any faster, but his movements pick up, hitting your g-spot with every movement of his hips.

9!

He brushes his fingers against your lip, watching as you slowly take them into your mouth and start sucking. You don’t miss the way he lightly swears when you lightly nip at the pads of his fingers. “Fucking brat.” He mutters before he’s wrapping his hand around your throat again.

8!

He moves his hand, going back up on his knees so he can hold you still as he keeps thrusting into you.

7!

With the way he’s gripping your hips and pulling you back into him, you already know you’re gonna be bruised with his fingerprints on your hip tomorrow.

6!

You start to fall forward, and all you can think about is how badly you want to cum.

5!

He starts rubbing at your clit, and you swear you can feel him deep in your stomach, knowing that he’s going to be responsible for your limp tomorrow.

4!

“If only I knew earlier that all I needed to do to get you to shut up was to fuck you properly” were the words coming out, and you hate yourself for moaning out louder at the way he says it.

3!

You can tell he’s starting to get close by the way he starts slowing down, choosing to grind his hips slowly into you.

2!

You haven’t stopped moaning, volume picking up until you’re practically sobbing into the pillow. You briefly think how grateful you are for the screaming in the living room when Grayson smacks your ass hard before groaning in your ear, “Fucking cum, Y/N.”

1!

The tight feeling in your stomach snaps, and a small spurt of wetness releases, you squirting into his dick and thighs. You practically collapse forward, suddenly exhausted, and it only takes a few more thrusts before Grayson’s pulling out to cum on your lower back.

Happy New Year’s, Y/N.” He whispers in a cocky tone, pride in how he practically has you reduced to nothing underneath him.

He covers you in a blanket before getting dressed and walking back out to the party, not even bothering to hide his self-satisfied smirk when his friends ask him why he missed the ball drop.

[music-of-melody]

A Fanatic Heart

Author: @acotazriel

Word Count:  7k

Rating: T {canon-typical violence & language}

Relationships: Riven/Musa 

Summary: What if all the Winx fairies were specialists and all the specialists were fairies? What if Riven doesn't realise how he feels for Musa before it's too late? What if he never has another chance again? May be continued into a series.

A/N: So this started out as a simple picture but ended up being an entire universe thanks to the amazing @acotazriel - Skye you have been honestly incredible throughout this all, especially given that I gave you like 3 sentences to work with so all the kudos to you! It has been a joy editing this and being a part of the creative process!

Riven hovered on the balls of his feet as he scanned the forest clearing. The woods were far too silent, with no noise in the way of birds, insects, or even a breeze among the treetops. The forest was waiting, like him. He scowled, feeling familiar eyes on his back but not turning around to face them. The Burned One had disappeared only thirty seconds ago; he knew it couldn’t have gotten far. He took the brief moment of respite to wipe the sweat from his brow as his eyes raked over the stand of shrubs, seeking any and all movement that might betray his quarry’s presence.

A twig cracked to his left and from the corner of his peripheral vision he caught sight of a charging, blackened figure. He whirled and dropped into a crouch just in time for the Burned One’s misshapen claw to swipe uselessly at the air above his head.

It fucking snuck up on him. How the fuck had it done that?

Riven didn’t waste time wondering; instead, he leapt backwards away from the swinging, venomous claws. The Burned One snarled and snapped but still Riven danced backward, drawing his opponent onto the offensive, forcing it to take the lead. After several seconds of distanced swipes, it took his bait and pounced forward—just as Riven anticipated. He timed his own leap to react to the Burned One and took the smashing blow right in the center of his reinforced chest plate.

He smirked even as he staggered two steps backward from the force of the blow. Right where he wanted.

The Burned One was strong, and in the following second Riven focused his mind on that kinetic energy it had imparted on his chest plate. He lifted his hands upward with his palms out and then let forth that same force in a wave of energy, blasting right at the Burned One’s approaching figure.

Riven grinned as the Burned One immediately tumbled backward, heels over scaly head, until it finally rolled to a stop forty feet away. “Thought you’d like that,” he taunted.

It slowly got to its feet, baring jagged fangs at Riven as it straightened to reach its full height. Riven sank into a crouch and raised his hands, palms outward again, and focused on the Cinder at its core.

It charged, screaming its demonic yowl, legs striding faster and faster over the uneven ground. It was thirty feet away and closing fast. Riven’s leg wobbled beneath him, still sore from the wild kick it had landed on him when it had first jumped them from above. At least it hadn’t broken his skin—he wasn’t Infected.

Yet. He reached out with his mind and felt the Cinder as it smoldered within the approaching Burned One—hot to the touch and full of dark energy, friction, and hatred.

Fifteen feet away now, screeching for all it was worth, reptilian feet pounding over the earth as it lunged. Riven drew a deep breath and visualized the Cinder bursting into smithereens.

Nothing.

The Cinder stayed intact and still the Burned One charged. Riven exhaled sharply in frustration and rolled to his right to dodge.

The Burned One spun on its heel to follow Riven’s progress, and he braced himself for the bite of its claws into his left shoulder—

Just as Musa leapt over his head and slashed her staff downward with both hands against its neck.

It screamed again, that horrific squall that chilled Riven to the bone (though he’d never admit it), Musa’s staff splitting into the three sections with which she fought as she charged the Burned One. She was a blur of forest green and ivory, her staff appearing as three pieces or as one when it suited her, leaving no place for her opponent to dodge or avoid the striking metal. Riven watched with satisfaction as she struck its head, its gut, its thigh, and its neck in quick succession. It slumped to its knees in agony, its maw gaping with an unheard scream of pain, and Riven raised his hands again and closed his eyes.

The Cinder beat like a defective heart, seething and bubbling with aimless rage. Riven clenched his fists as if squeezing the Cinder from the outside and Musa raised a forearm to cover her eyes. The Cinder exploded into a thousand fractals of light and energy that ricocheted outward through the forest and faded harmlessly into nothing.

When the reverberation deadened, Riven opened his eyes to see Musa bracing a booted foot against the Burned Ones’ corpse to roll it onto its back.

She jerked her staff upward in the snapping motion that folded the three pieces parallel to each other and lifted her gaze to him. “Thought you were going to take that one down by yourself?” she asked in a mock casual as she sheathed her staff into its quiver on her back.

“I had it under control,” Riven said with a grin as he straightened up. He scanned his body quickly, looking for any tears in his armor or breaks in his skin. Coming up empty, he cocked his head towards the unmoving corpse. “Just didn’t want you to get lazy.”

She huffed a laugh. “Right,” she said, voice dripping with sarcasm. “Yeah, I’d be a real couch potato if I didn’t have to jump up and save your sorry arse every five minutes.”

“I was fine. I could have taken it,” Riven said. One of these days he’d take one down all by himself and prove to Farah he didn’t need Specialist support. Prove to himself that he didn’t need anyone.

“Whatever. Toss me the sampling kit.” She knelt to the ground beside the Burned One while Riven unclipped the small leather pack at his belt. He tossed it to her and she caught it deftly, unzipped it, and withdrew Professor Harvey’s biosampling tackle.

He watched her scrape some of the Burned One’s scorched flesh into a vial and wished he’d paced out his cigs better. Now he was restless and directionless until they could return to camp. “Maybe I’ll just let it get you next time,” Musa said after a long beat. He arched an eyebrow at her. “Once it Infects you and I have to kill it, maybe you’ll see why Farah wants everyone to fight in teams.”

“Yeah, Farah’ll really go for that,” Riven scoffed.

“Farah says mutual trust—”

“It’s not a question of trust,” Riven cut her off. He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back against a tree trunk with his eyes narrowed. “It’s a question of you doing your job, and me knowing that you’re gonna do your job.”

He’d lost count of the number of times he’d had this conversation. He avoided her frustrated expression and uncrossed his arms to withdraw the small throwing knife he kept in his boot, running his thumb over the blade to test its sharpness. He checked that Musa was still busy with the sampling kit and made another notch in his leather chest cuirass. “That makes nine,” he announced.

She wrinkled her nose. “I thought it was eight?”

“No, I’m counting that one back in the moor for us.”

She huffed another laugh. “Sure, just don’t tell Silva that—I already saw him tally it up in his count.”

Riven shook his head and clucked his tongue. “He really lets getting chosen by a dragon get to his head, doesn’t he.”

Musa laughed, for real this time, her chestnut brown eyes glinting with glee. “You’re just saying that because he’s the only fairy to beat you in hand-to-hand combat.”

“That was a technicality—” Riven had just begun his retort when a loud shout echoed behind them. They both whirled, Musa already jumped up and her staff drawn and ready, studying the surrounding woods for the source of the noise.

“There,” Musa pointed out. In the far distance Riven could just make out a couple of trees that were swaying back and forth in an unnatural motion—not from the trunks, but from the roots. Another cry—this time a feminine scream.

They broke into a sprint at the same time. “I think it’s Flora,” Musa panted as they darted between trees and over shrubs.

“Nah, that’s Brandon’s style,” Riven refuted, thinking of the motion of the tree trunks. “Besides, I got way too good at recognizing Stella’s screams back when she was with Sky—”

Musa shot him a glare, but they both saved their breath as they ran through the woods. They reached the top of a ridge and paused when they caught sight of two Alfea uniforms—one Specialist, one fairy.

Brandon was down, lying on his side with one hand clutching his stomach and the other outstretched in front of him. Stella’s twin swords flashed in the sunlight as she hacked and parried the Burned One in front of her. The ground beneath their feet rippled and rolled like waves on a pond—every time the Burned One raised its arms, it stumbled on the erratic ground while the forest floor beneath Stella remained as steady as a rock.

But she was hurt, too—Riven could see from the way her left arm lagged behind her right, and sure enough, within a few seconds the Burned One managed to knock her left blade from her hand.

Musa and Riven didn’t wait another moment. They charged down the hill, Riven already reaching his palms outward, making sure to stay two steps behind Musa’s staff.

This one was bigger than the one they’d just killed - it towered over Musa’s compact form, although he knew this just played into her strength: speed. She was a flurry of flashing metal and darting green as she dodged the Burned Ones’ swipes and claws.

Riven reached Brandon and crouched on his haunches. “It got you?”

“Fuck me, yes,” Brandon hissed, and pulled his hand away from his stomach for long enough for Riven to see a smear of red blood and black Burned One bile webbing outward from the wound. “Got Stella too.”

“We’ll take care of it,” Riven promised. He rested a steadying hand on Brandon’s shoulder and turned to look back at their Specialists. Musa and Stella had already managed to bring it to its knees, and within a blink, Musa drew back with a powerful swing and leveled the Burned One with a furious strike to its neck. It keeled backward, and Stella raised her right sword with both hands and stabbed it downwards into its chest, pinning it to the ground.

Riven approached, palms outward again, and now—with little danger from the lifeless form—cradled the Cinder in his mind, then crushed it with minimal effort, squeezing his eyes shut as the energy rippling outward nearly surged through them.

Stella let out a slow, rattling breath as the Burned One’s life force drained away. She staggered back, catching her breath, and then immediately hurried to Brandon. In the span of seconds she reached his side, knelt, and rolled him onto his back. Riven and Musa approached as well, Riven drawing forth his first aid kit from the pack at his belt.

“I’ll be okay,” Brandon said thickly. His breath was ragged and both hands clutched at the wound in his stomach. His eyes never left Stella’s. “I’ll be okay.” Riven had the sense that his words were more of a plea than an assurance.

“Of course you’ll be okay,” Stella shushed him as she cradled his head in her lap. “It’s dead, we just have to get you fixed up.”

“And you’re okay, Stel?” Musa asked, running a questioning hand along Stella’s left arm.

“Fine,” Stella answered absently. “Just nicked my wrist, that’s all.” To justify her nonchalance, she extended her left hand out to show Musa and Riven. Her sleeve had torn and there was a line of blood where her forearm met her hand, but it didn’t appear serious.

Riven handed over gauze and healing potions. “Think you can walk?”

“I’ll be okay,” Brandon repeated. “Just give me a second.”

Musa took Riven’s forearm and pulled him backward to give Brandon and Stella space. They watched from behind Stella, handing her additional bandages and tinctures as she tended to her fairy. Within a few minutes, the color returned to Brandon’s face, although he couldn’t hide the pain that flicked over his features when he tried to stand. Riven offered an arm to help Brandon limp back to camp but the other fairy brushed him off. “I’m fine, I’ll just go slow,” Brandon said.

Stella looped Brandon’s arm over her shoulder so she could help him walk. “We’ll see you guys back at camp,” she said. “And thanks for the assist.”

“Yeah—thanks,” Brandon forced out before Stella led him forward.

Musa and Riven watched them walk away for a long beat before Musa collapsed her staff back into thirds, sheathed it, and then ran a hand through her hair. “That was a little scary.”

Riven shook his head dismissively. “I’ve been telling Brandon for weeks he leaves his core too exposed when he fights. And I’ve heard you yourself telling Stella she needs to tighten up her left side.”

She glared at him. “That’s harsh, Riv. People make mistakes—that doesn’t mean they deserve it.”

“I didn’t say they deserved it—and we don’t make mistakes,” he grinned. “We haven’t lost yet. Not with real ones, anyway.” The simulation Burned Ones that they’d faced back when they were still training didn’t count.

“Yeah, but…” Musa’s lips formed a thin line as she stared after Brandon and Stella’s receding forms. “Sometimes I wonder if you’re going to be saying that shit behind my back if I ever make a mistake.”

He hissed an exhale in frustration. “You think I wouldn’t have done the same for you? I’m doing my job, Musa, which means I’m not leaving you on the ground to die.”

“Even if I left my core too exposed or didn't tighten up my left side?”

She threw his words back at him, her tone mocking, and he stopped short and turned to face her. “Fine, you want me to say it? I do. I do care about you. You’re a fucking good fighter and I don’t want anyone else at my side.”

Her mouth curved into a mischievous grin. “So you do trust me.”

“That’s not what I said.”

“That’s what I heard.”

He huffed a sharp exhale through turned-up lips that ruffled his quiff. “Whatever. Let’s just keep patrolling.”

Before he followed her forward, he notched another mark on his cuirass.

===

They returned to camp a few hours later. The first thing they did was check on Brandon in the infirmary tent being tended to by Harvey, and then Musa went to wash up while Riven headed to the mess tent.

He loaded up his tray with as much food as he could fit before looking for Sky in the fairy tent.

“Heard you had a productive morning,” Sky asked from his cot, looking up from the throwing stars he was cleaning.

Riven nodded through a mouthful of stew and puffed out his chest to show the two new notches he’d made. “Told you we’re the best team,” he said with pride after chewing and swallowing. “What did you and Bloom do?”

“Killed three, actually.”

"Bullshit!" Riven exclaimed, but Sky just chuckled and shook his head.

“Ask Silva.” He stood up. “Actually, I’m heading that way, you should come with. He asked me and Bloom to try out his new idea—”

Riven's eyes narrowed, projecting his disappointment as irritation. "What about our debrief hike?"

Sky’s gaze dropped back to his hands and the pile of cleaned throwing stars at his feet. "Can't today—I already promised Bloom I would."

Scowling, Riven picked up his bread. "Right, can't compete with a shag now, can I?"

Sky frowned and glanced back up. "It's not a competition, Riv. I'm just moving our mates time, I'm not bailing so I can get laid."

"Right—you're just bailing and getting laid."

Sky rolled his eyes, set down his rag, and grabbed his cuirass from its hook over his bed and pulled it over his head. “You’ve got a letter, by the way,” he changed the subject and pointed at the desk against the far wall.

Riven lowered his head to his lunch and shrugged, ignoring the spike of inadequacy at its likely contents. "Don't care." Sky fastened the straps on his cuirass with a puzzled expression that made Riven's ears burn. He hated pity, and in his desperation to fill the silence with anything else he spoke again. "It's probably just Dad telling me not to come home next time we get leave."

"Riven..." Sky's tone was so full of unsolicited sympathy that it further frayed Riven's already irritated nerves.

"Read it, I don't care," he said through another bite. "Go on."

Sky finished tightening his chest harness, walked to the desk, and slit open the envelope. "'Dear Riven, you are most welcome at home in two weeks,'" he read, his voice rising hopefully. Riven raised a hand for him to read on, and Sky looked back down at the letter. "'...however your stepmother and I will be on holiday in Melody. You can let yourself in. Write soon.'" He finished, deflated, and dropped the letter back onto the table, at a loss for words.

Riven shrugged to prove to Sky that he didn't care. At least it was longer than his father's usual letters, he thought dryly.

"I'm sorry, Riv.” Had Riven been less peeved then he would have appreciated the sincere apology in Sky's voice. "Let's do our hike when I get back."

"Yeah, sure," he replied dully. "Enjoy spending time with your ball-and-chain."

"She's not my ball-and-chain, Riven," Sky sighed, exasperated as he laced his boots. "She's more than that... she's my lifeline."

Riven made a retching noise in the back of his throat, gagging at Sky's sentimentality, but after Musa’s comments this morning, the comment hit closer to home than he thought it would.

"Right, well, see you when we get back." He left the tent, leaving Riven to finish his meal in silence.

===

As soon as he was done Riven tossed his tray back into the mess tent and shoved his hands into the pockets of his uniform. As much as he didn’t want to admit it, he couldn’t help but feel let down by Sky. Sky was the one who’d dragged Riven on these hikes at first, a way for them to have some time to themselves away from the girls, just the two of them like before. Riven had gone along begrudgingly at first but had in the last few months found himself looking forward to them—a chance to compartmentalize and destress with his best friend from the furor of battle and camp life.

And now, Sky had blown him off.

He set his jaw as he paced through camp. He knew that Sky didn’t mean anything by it, but it still niggled angrily in the back of Riven’s brain. He kicked a rock in the path, savoring the sweet agony in his toe because it distracted him from the nervous energy in his mind. He could have that relationship with Musa if he wanted—he just didn’t want to. They were soft, all of them, and if Riven knew one thing it was that the people you trusted always let you down in the end. If you gave them a piece of your heart, it was inevitable that they would crush it.

“What is it?” A voice in front of him spoke and Riven looked up, surprised to find himself in front of the infirmary. Musa looked up at him from where she knelt in Professor Harvey’s herb garden. “Does Dowling need us?”

“What? Oh, no,” Riven said quickly, silently cursing himself. He knew better than to connect the dots that thinking about Musa led to him finding himself arriving at one of her usual haunts. “I, uh— how’s Brandon?”

To his surprise, instead of a simple answer Musa glanced back into the tent, then stood up and brushed the dirt from the knees of her trousers. “Let’s talk out there,” she said quietly.

Riven nodded, falling into step beside her as they paced along the path and out through the temporary barrier erected around their campsite. “Huh, I didn’t know it was bad.”

“It hit his aorta,” Musa admitted, pushing aside the underbrush as they walked vaguely north. “He’s not Infected or anything, it’s just going to take him a lot longer to heal than they thought.”

“That sucks,” Riven agreed. Still sensitive about Sky’s comment, he chose not to offer any more opinions about Brandon’s form—in fact, he regretted his previous remarks. He thought back to his earlier conversation with Musa and cringed. “Stella must be pretty cut up.”

“She definitely feels guilty,” Musa admitted in a low voice.

Riven pressed his lips together, holding a branch out for Musa to walk beside him and not get whacked in the head. “She shouldn’t—it wasn’t her fault. The one they knocked heads with looked like a nasty bugger.”

Musa allowed a small smile up at Riven. “It was—and someone’s being generous,” she teased. “Did Riven grow a heart?”

“Wow, say something nice about a guy on death’s door, and suddenly you’re a saint,” Riven shot back. “Brandon’s a damn good fairy. We need him.”

“Ah, that’s right,” Musa said, her tone dropping from teasing to mocking. “He’s just doing a job.”

“That’s not what I meant—”

“That’s what I heard,” she said again. She drew up short and turned to face him. “Tell me, have you ever trusted anyone?”

He stopped as well, feeling a twist in his gut. He didn’t want to continue this age-old conversation, but for a different reason than usual—he was alarmed that she was upset. He didn’t want one more person to push him away. “Why does it matter to you?” he asked. “Why do you care so much about trust when we should be worried about Burned Ones and Rosalind and fucking psycho Beatrix—”

“Because if I’m just a job to you, Riven, then I can’t do this.”

His lips parted and he stared, dumbstruck.

“If you can’t trust me then I don’t want to do this. I’m going to ask Dowling to be paired with someone else.”

His brain sagged at her announcement, briefly flashing through his life if he didn’t have his Specialist next to him. Having to start over with someone new… someone likely less capable… someone worse. Someone that wasn’t her.

“Musa—”

“No, don’t, Riven—”

An otherworldly scream cleaved the air above their heads. Riven flinched and looked upward in time to see a Burned One drop from a tree above their heads.

Fuck.

He reacted instantly with his training and skittered backward, stumbling at first and then more skillfully as his training took over. The Burned One had missed them in its initial lurch, but it was already upright and snarling towards them as they hurried to overcome the surprise.

“Got a shot?” Riven shouted as he ducked beneath a swipe of its jagged claws. He rolled to his feet and glanced quickly at Musa—thankfully she had kept her staff with her, and it was already twirling in her hands, a blur of metal and ivory.

“Take it,” Musa yelled back, and Riven acknowledged with a quick “Aye!” She was asking him to use his energy absorption powers to take a blow and then reverse the energy back onto it. Riven straightened up and danced backward, taunting the Burned One to prowl forward and away from Musa while she got her bearings. “Come here, you little fuck,” Riven shouted, hoping to distract it.

It lunged and Riven leapt sideways to take the brunt of its force on his breastplate. It struck true and Riven almost laughed in delight as he focused that energy back through his palms, and blasted the Burned One twenty feet backward.

With some breathing room now between the pair and the Burned One Musa charged. Her staff was a spinning twirl of silver and white as she advanced and struck forward as the Burned One pushed itself to its feet. Her staff struck over and over at any exposed areas the Burned One left open, causing it to keel backwards in pain. Musa rained so many blows on the creature that it keeled backward, stunned by pain, and if it had been anything but a Burned One Riven would have felt sorry for it.

Riven advanced with palms out, his mind sharpening on the Cinder at its core. Musa struck out again and again on Burned One while he located that beating mass of rage and hatred. He closed his eyes and focused on it, imagining it bursting into smithereens.

“Now,” he called out, their sign for her to shield her vision, and the Cinder exploded in another blast of light and energy.

The silence that followed the Burned One’s destruction felt more weary than usual. Riven dropped to his knees, cowed by the surprise and viciousness of their sudden fight, and opened his eyes to see Musa shakily folding her staff by hand into thirds before glancing over at him.

“Fuck, they’re getting bolder,” she said, and he nodded.

“Got to be on guard.”

“Luckily we’re ‘the best,’ right?” Musa said with a jittery chuckle. Riven’s lips thinned—they’d been caught by surprise. Only their training had saved them.

“Yeah, the best.” He righted himself, dusting off his uniform where he’d rolled on the mossy forest floor. Despite himself, he couldn’t help replaying Musa’s earlier words from that morning in his head—so you do trust me.

He knew by any other metric that’d be true. Riven finally forced himself to admit it. If Bloom was Sky’s lifeline, then he knew Musa was his. He could call it whatever he wanted, but it was trust.

The thought of admitting it to Musa made his gut twist again. It went against almost everything he stood for, to admit that he was wrong—except for his number one principle: honesty. If that meant admitting to Musa that he trusted her, then that trumped everything.

He opened his mouth.

Musa cocked an eyebrow at him—waiting for his smarmy retort—but before he could speak the brush behind her solidified from thorny oleander to the shape of a Burned One.

His words died on his lips, replaced by a silent scream.

The Burned One struck out at Musa from behind—her staff lay limply in her hand and her eyes were fixed on Riven. On him. Instead of herself and her back and the slim body that he should be defending.

It was like she recognized what had happened before he did. Her chestnut eyes sought his as the Burned One’s claw sank into her back, and he felt her scream on every level—physically, mentally, psychologically—and even fucking deeper than that. He felt her scream in his very bones.

He watched her fall almost in slow motion, her arms raising first in reaction to the pain, the staff falling from her grip and clattering uselessly to the forest floor—then her legs as she pitched forward, knees buckling, and the rest of her body followed, a rag doll to the deep wound from the Burned One’s dagger-like claws.

And her face. Her fucking face. Warped in surprise, with pain glossing over her features in a slice that made Riven feel as much if not more pain than she. His Specialist, in pain—attacked.

She crumpled. The Burned One stood over her body, crowing victory in its nonverbal tongue and still slashing at her body, and Riven felt a fire that he’d never felt before alight in his veins. It spread from his heart to his gut to his extremities, carrying surprise and rage and a loss that he had never before felt in his life.

Musa. It had hurt Musa. It had hurt Musa to the point that she’d collapsed and he was still standing, and he ceased to be Riven—he became a pillar of furor and mania.

It had hurt the one person who had fought by his side the last six months.

It had hurt the one person who was always there when he needed her, conscious or not.

It had hurt the one person who knew him inside out and still chose to fight beside him.

It had hurt his Specialist. His Musa.

He screamed in guttural rage and it felt as though his voice ricocheted through the entire forest.

Suddenly, in the midst of his fury, pain exploded between his shoulder blades. It wrenched through him with enough violence to cut short his cry, and he staggered forward as if pushed by an invisible force. Beneath the anger and passion he felt something else—something kinetic and physical, something fundamentally different about himself.

He fell forward onto his knees and pressed his hands to the dirt, blinking back tears of pain as something huge—something massive erupted against his back, ripping his shirt in half at the back seam. He crawled forward on his hands and knees, seeking to escape the burden on his shoulders, to slither out from beneath whatever-the-fuck-it-was now weighing him down and pressing him against the earth. It had to be a Burned One—another had snuck up on them, and gotten Riven this time, and this was what it felt like to be Infected, to have the venom coursing through his body, paralyzing him—

He wouldn’t be able to help Musa.

The thought made his head fly up and face her, every atom in his body resisting that thought. He had to save her. He fucking had to.

He grit his teeth through the pain and dared a glance behind him. Another yell escaped his throat at the sight—this time from surprise. Indigo talons twice the size of an eagle’s hovered over his shoulders, almost dagger-like in shape, connected with a lighter purple webbing—

He choked as he connected the pain between his shoulder blades with the apparition in front of his eyes.

Wings. He had fucking wings.

Riven fought to regain his breath as he pulled himself to his feet, stumbling a little as he compensated for the additional weight on his back. His shirt and reinforced breast plate fell from his chest but he barely noticed. He had wings.

More than that, he realized—he had power.

He could feel it thrumming through him—where before his magic had been a murmur, now it was a roar. It vibrated against his bones and he could feel it crackling at his fingertips. Power.

He barely had to focus—the only thing in his mind was Musa, collapsed at the Burned One’s feet, and Riven simply raised his palms.

The Burned One took a step backward, daunted by the change in Riven’s appearance. He flexed muscles that sixty seconds ago he didn’t know he had and spread his wings as wide as possible to make himself appear larger and more intimidating.

It recovered from its fright and charged at him in a frantic frenzy, but Riven found his reaction times halved by his normal standards—each swipe of the Burned One he met with a slap of his own hands, swatting it away before it could puncture his skin. It yowled in frustration and tried to clap its hands together around Riven’s torso but he simply ducked, leaving it hugging itself in a bizzare embrace. He closed his eyes—almost lazily—and within milliseconds cradled that Cinder in his mind—He didn’t need to concentrate on his focus nearly as much as before.

He focused that rage and energy onto the Cinder and felt it explode into nothing, from boiling hatred to empty peace, and then he opened his eyes.

It was gone. The Burned One had disappeared but Musa still lay on the ground. He knew she wasn’t in danger of Infection, but like with Brandon’s injury there was no time to waste. He scooped her into his arms bridal-style, and when her head lolled against his chest he felt a plunge of something deep in his chest, near where his wings had taken root.

Musa. His Specialist. He needed her.

He didn’t even know how he knew to take flight, but he just knew. His wings carried him through the forest, low and darting as a dragonfly over the brush and through the trees. His shoulders ached with the exhaustion of muscles weak with lack of use, but Riven didn’t care. He forced himself forward, not stopping until he reached the barrier, and even then he pumped his wings forward until he reached the infirmary.

He landed awkwardly on his feet and barrelled inside, Musa still in his arms, knocking aside equipment and paraphernalia left and right with his wingspan. He didn’t care. The only thing he cared about was the seep of her blood onto his shirt and then the floor, and how he had to stop it.

He had to save his Specialist. The one he trusted with his life.

Professor Harvey straightened up from Brandon’s cot, his eyes as large as saucers as he took in the sight of a winged Riven holding Musa’s limp body. A healing fairy stood in the back of the tent behind him, her jaw agape, gaze locked on the violet daggers of Riven’s wingtips.

Riven lifted Musa towards Harvey as if presenting a macabre offering. They weren’t helping. They weren’t moving. They just fucking stared.

“Help!” he bellowed at Harvey. “Help her!”

Harvey blinked but the spell finally broke. He leapt forward to take Musa from Riven’s arms and the fairy behind him hurried over as well. Riven and Harvey lowered onto a cot, her back and the worst of her injuries facing upward. Riven sank onto his knees and ran his hands through Musa’s hair, then over her face as if he could stroke life back into her. Her face was paler than he’d ever seen—even her lips looked desaturated. Her eyes were closed and looked far too relaxed, as if she was asleep, but he couldn’t think that because that’s always what people said when they d-

He forcibly stopped that thought and clutched at her head. “Musa,” he choked. “Musa, wake up—”

“Riven, I need to get by you,” Harvey said above him. Riven felt a pressure on his right side somewhere unusual and realized that Harvey was trying to lean over Musa through his still-flexed wing. He shifted two steps to the left so he was at the head of the bed, but he felt a hand on his arm.

He looked up at Sky, concern written all over his blue eyes. “Riven, come with me—”

“No,” Riven said, clutching closer to the metal frame of Musa’s cot. “No, not without her—”

Sky’s hand closed more firmly around Riven’s arm. “Riv, you’re in the way—let the healers work.”

Maybe Sky was right—the healing fairy squeezed past his wingspan to reach the supplies above his head—but he couldn’t leave her. It was his fault she was hurt, they’d been arguing—he should have protected her.

But Sky wasn’t leaving him a choice. Silva appeared next to him, and between the two of them they grasped Riven’s upper arms and pulled him from the tent, his errant wings still knocking bottles from shelves and curtains from their rods. Riven’s vision stayed fixed on Musa, dread pooling inside him at how small and frail she looked on that cot.

He didn’t even realize they had dragged him into the strategy tent until he blinked and Silva was snapping his fingers in front of Riven’s eyes to rouse him.

“Riven,” Silva said. “What the hell happened?”

Riven stared at Silva, but he wasn’t really seeing him. He saw Musa, her face torqued in pain, the way her knees and elbows bent as she fell, her brown pigtails splayed out against the earth. His fault.

“Riven,” Sky reached out with a hand and turned his chin to force eye contact. “Riven, are you alright?”

He swallowed thickly and jerked his head downward out of Sky’s grip to stare at the ground. “Burned One came out of nowhere—we killed it, but then there was another—camouflaged somehow. It got M—” his voice caught and he stopped, unable to finish.

“But you killed it?” Sky prompted, and Riven managed a brusque nod. “Musa’s gonna be fine, Riven—she’s hurt but not Infected.”

He screwed his face up at that. Sure, she wasn’t Infected. She was just unconscious with pain and incapacitated for who the hell knew how long, and it was his fucking fault.

“Riven.” He wished they’d stop saying his name. He didn’t want any of them—he wanted to be alone. With her. With Musa.

He felt another hand on his arm and tried to pull it away, but the hand clenched harder, forcing him to look up. Silva stared down at him, expression full of something akin to sympathy. “I know you want to blame yourself, but it’s possible to make no mistakes and still lose. That doesn’t mean you’re a bad partner—it means you are alive. That’s life.”

Riven shook his head, but as he ran the fight back through his head, he found the smallest bit of solace in Silva’s words. He drew a shaky breath and gave Silva the barest hint of a nod.

Silva released his grip on Riven’s arm and nodded back. “Want to tell us how you got those?”

Pushing aside his guilt about Musa meant that the sensations of his body all came roaring back, and Riven grimaced in pain. His shoulders ached at the notch of his wings, his chest was sore from taking the Burned One’s blow, and he felt a general sense of exhaustion from his flight back to camp. “When the Burned One got her,” he said and lifted his gaze to observe the tendrils of purple reaching above his head. “It just happened. I was so angry—and then they just burst out of me. It hurt like hell.”

“Looks cool as hell,” Sky said with a grin, circling Riven to admire the wings from all angles.

“What else happened?” Silva asked, and Riven turned back to face him with a quizzical expression. Silva gestured to the wings. “Anything besides these?”

“Yeah,” Riven said slowly, recalling that thrum of energy that had surged through him. “Power. It was like my magic was twice as powerful and half as easy. I’ve never killed one so quickly. Not on my own.”

Sky wolf whistled in admiration and Riven allowed a small grin.

Then his grin vanished, replaced by a grimace of pain. He stumbled forward and grabbed Sky’s shoulder to keep himself upright as his back muscles wrenched and contorted. A keen of pain escaped his clenched teeth—it felt like his back was splitting open between his shoulder blades. He gasped and sank to his knees, pulling Sky down with him, his legs unable to support him in his agony.

As suddenly as it started, it stopped. Riven stayed on the ground, hands on his thighs, breathing away the memory of the pain. He felt lighter and somehow lesser—more muted. He looked up and confirmed what he’d suspected—his wings had vanished, receding inside him.

“Now that was cool,” Silva chuckled.

Riven grimaced again and used Sky’s shoulder to haul himself back upright. “Does this mean I can go back now?” he asked, looking from Silva to Sky. “I can stay out of the way.”

Silva and Sky exchanged a glance, at which Silva nodded. At the smallest motion Riven immediately turned for the tent flap and hurried forward.

Sky came with him, for which Riven was silently appreciative. Even though he didn’t want to talk, he didn’t want to be alone with his thoughts either, and Sky was his best friend. He would be a silent companion if that’s what Riven needed.

Harvey begrudgingly let Riven back inside and Sky left Riven in an out-of-the-way corner, an agitated but quiet spectator to Harvey’s ministrations. He returned a few minutes later with water and a clean shirt, both of which Riven accepted gratefully.

They waited long into the night, Riven’s gaze never leaving Musa. Sky’s head drooped against his shoulder and he reflected on what his friend had told him earlier, about his Specialist being his lifeline. Fuck, he’d been right.

===

Some color had returned to Musa’s cheeks, but she was still weak from loss of blood and the extent of the Burned One’s claws in her body. Riven only left her side to eat, which Harvey did not permit in the infirmary. The other teams came in at various times to wish her well and congratulate Riven on his transformation. He always hated when they brought that part up. As impressive as it was (so they said), it was without a doubt the worst twenty minutes of his life.

After a few days’ recovery she lay on her stomach with the white bandages still wrapped around her torso while Riven perched on a stool beside her cot, one foot up on her bedframe and the other tucked on the crossbar of his stool. “I’m still mad I’m the only one who never got to see them,” she sighed and rested on hand beneath her chin. “Stella says they wouldn’t have been out of place at a spring fashion show.”

“My wings were extremely masculine, thank you,” Riven said, and Musa laughed hard enough to grimace in pain and clutch at her ribs. They fell silent and Riven ran a thumb along the seam of his trousers, still unable to think back to that time without flinching. “Maybe I’ll learn to control them, but until then I honestly hope you never see them.”

She gave him a bracing smile, and he knew she understood without him having to say it—that if it took Musa getting mortally hurt for his wings to appear, he’d rather never transform again.

She reached her hand out and he took it, thumbing a wide arc over the back of her hand. His Specialist. His partner. His life.

[wiypt-writes]

Too Loose And You’ll Lose It

Ch2: I’m Not Jealous...Why Would I Be Jealous? Co-written with @icanfeelastormbrewing​

Summary: The Losers run their first mission together since they bust the Child Sex Trafficking Ring a few months ago, and things don’t quite go according to plan, leading to some nasty tension between Jake and Stella. As time progresses the rift increases leading Jake to make a decision about the nature of his and Stella’s relationship, and the consequences of his decision lead Stella to make one of her own…

Warnings: Bad Language words. Some angst and 2 dumbasses so afraid to admit their feelings to one another, they’d rather ignore them completely…

Pairing: Jake Jensen x OFC Stella Stevenson.

A/N:  Yeah, yeah, we’re sorry…but what would our fics be without the standard angst and dumbassery…and let’s face it, Jake IS a total dumbass. A lovable dumbass, but still a dumbass. Also, in this is a lot of Creative License. There’s limited detail about the CIA base online (dur) but I do have a fairly good grasp of UK Military codes and security levels as I worked on a lot of bases so we’re running with that…if it’s not directly the same over in the US then…sorry not sorry!

And yes, our other OC in here is shamelessly named after Evans… and our bub needs some love today.

TLAYLI Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Chapter 1

August 2007

“OK Losers, let’s fuck this shit up and get home. I got a date in less than 23 hours.” Clay grinned at Pooch who let out a chuckle.

“You sure don’t wanna miss that…she’s volatile.” Roque’s soft baritone came back over the coms.

“Yeah, which means I’d rather not be late.” Clay replied.

“Good call Clay, I’d hate to be picking up the pieces of you like I had to do with Pooch when he missed Future Mrs Pooch’s birthday last month…”  Jensen replied, looking at Pooch as he sat in the van, laptop open “How is Little Pooch performing since she ripped your balls off?”

Pooch glared at him and elbowed him harshly in the ribs “Ouch, Pooch be gentle!” Jensen rubbed at his side, wincing.

Clay rolled his eyes as Pooch and Jensen started bickering between themselves, Cougar’s soft snickering echoed down the coms from his vantage point perched on the building next door. “Ok, seriously, we’re trying to work here and all I can hear is you lot.” Stella hissed, “Can you focus up?”

“Sorry Arty.” Pooch said, shooting one last glare at Jensen who simply arched an eyebrow and sniffed slightly, tapping at the keyboard.

“And I can see you.” Jensen grinned as the CCTV footage of the inside of the office flicked onto the screen “Wave for the Camera Stel…”

At his words, Stella turned to look at the camera which was above her in the corner of the room and flipped him off. Clay gave a snort.

“That’s not a wave sweetheart.” Jake said and she let out a growl.

“Jensen, I swear to God���”

“Enough you two.” Clay groaned “Roque, Arty get on with it. Cougar, sit-rep on the auction.”

“Still going on…” Cougar obliged “Everyone still in the main room.”

“Jakey…” Stella spoke, and as they watched she began to search the room as Roque kept watch at the door. “Are you sure it’s in here?”

“Yup…” Jensen said “The signal says you’re right by it.”

On the screen Stella paused and looked at the large, ornamental cabinet against the right wall. She stooped to examine the lock and then snorted. “Standard dead bolt.”

“You think they’d be a little more careful…” Pooch mused, watching the footage on the laptop.

“Well to be fair they have a lot of security on the door” Stella replied, and with that hitched the skirt of the tight, figure hugging midnight blue body-con dress she was wearing up slightly and retrieved a tiny device from the top of her stockings.

Jake gave a groan, and then a little yelp as Pooch slapped him round the back of the head. “Pooch man…like, didn’t you see that?”

“Shut up!” Clay said, glaring at him, his eyes then flicking back to the screen as Stella began to wrestle with the lock of the cabinet.

“Boss, they’re wrapping up. Cougar spoke. “The device has sold…I got eyes on our middle man…”

“Ok…” Stella said, and they watched as she gave the little picking device a twist to the right before she sharply jabbed it downwards, then up. Then she gave a little “yes” of triumph and yanked the door open, only to then give a groan of frustration.“Shit.”

“Shit, what’s shit?” Roque asked, and Clay saw him turn back to look at her from where he had been peeking out of the door.

“It’s in a damned case…”  She said, yanking it out and dropping it on the desk, crouching down so she was eyelevel with the locks. “These are harder to pick than a fucking padlock.”

“You got company heading your way.” Cougar spoke “2 guys, armed, approaching from your left.”

“Fuck.” Clay mumbled, as Jensen tapped another button and a smaller viewing box appeared in the top right of the monitor displaying footage of the corridor.

“Want me to drop them boss?” Cougar asked.

“Let’s wait a bit, see if we can get out clean.” Clay said. “But be ready just in case.”

“Got about 40 seconds tops until they turn the corner and I won’t have a shot.”

“Roger.” Clay said

“Once Cougar loses sight we have about another 60 seconds before they hit your position.” Jake said, his eyes flashing as he watched the CCTV of the two men walk down the corridor before his eyes moved back to the larger footage box of the room Stella was in. “Come on Stel…”

“I’m going as fast as I can…” she grumbled, twisting the device in the fiddly locks. One of them sprang open and she hastily moved to the other.

It was deadly silent, Jensen holding his breath as his nerves started to get the better of him. Roque and Stella were both unarmed, they had to be to get into the auction in the first place. The only reason Stella had managed to get that lock pick in through the metal detectors was that it was made out of a specialist, plastic resin. His right hand rested over his mouth, fingers pulling at the whiskers on his goatee as his knee began to jerk slightly.

“Ok I got it…” Stella said, and she grabbed the large, metal hard-drive, flipping it over. “Jake now what?”

“The back should screw off.” He said, watching as she flipped it over, dropped it on the desk and hastily worked at the screw positioned at the top.

“I lost sight.” Cougar said.

“Ok, grab the drive and get of there.” Clay instructed and at that point Roque spun back into the room, making to pick it up but Stella slapped his hand away.

“Arty, what…”

“If we do that we’ve no chance of tracking this back via the middle man to the buyer…” she shook her head, still working at the screw.

“Our priority was retrieving the device.” Clay said, “The buyer is a bonus.”

“Stella, do what he says.” Jake said, swallowing nervously “Get out of there, now!”

“No, I almost got this…” Stella mumbled and with a final twist of her wrist the back sprang open. Quick as a flash the three men in the truck watched as Roque pulled off his watch, twisted the back of it and retrieved the data chip inside, handing it to Arty.

“Lift up the large, flat circuit board in the middle.” Jake said, and she followed his instructions, quickly swapping the chips out. She then hastily screwed the back on before jamming it back in the case. She snapped the lock shut, before she rammed it back in the cupboard.

“30 seconds…” Jake muttered, “Stel…come on…”

She didn’t reply, instead she quickly locked the cabinet door and Roque grabbed her hand and they ran into the corridor, running in the opposite direction to the approaching danger.

Jensen hit a button, flipping the footage of the corridor so it filled the screen and felt his blood run cold. He could see the corridor was long. And there was no way Roque and Stel would make it to the corner at the bottom before the men spotted them.

“They’re not gonna make it…” he muttered, and all 3 of them in the van stood up, grabbing their guns.

“Cougar…” Clay instructed as they emerged from the van.

“I’m by the gates” he said simply and Clay cocked his gun.

“Roque, Arty try and hide until we get in there…” he said simply as they sprinted across the road towards where Cougar was waiting, all the time listening to the chatter on the coms.

“Door, door…” Roque muttered “Shit it’s locked…”

“Roque…” Stella hissed.

“What?”

“Shut up and…”

Her voice cut off and Jensen heard a noise on his comms, a noise that sounded very much like…

Oh hell, no.

“Are they…is she…” he looked at Pooch as besides him Cougar started chuckling “Are they kissing?” Jensen wheeled round to look at Clay “Tell me, that’s not kissing I can hear!”

Clay shrugged as Jensen pulled a face, making a disgusted snort through his nose. “Stel, are you kissing Roque? What the fuck-“

“Hey, what the hell are you 2 doing back here?” an unfamiliar voice sounded in Jensen’s ears, followed by the loud noise of lips smacking and he looked at Pooch, his mouth hanging open.

“Sorry…we just…erm…” Stella giggled, “Yeah, we…”

“Can’t keep my hands off her” Roque chuckled, and Jensen couldn’t help the growl that bubbled from his throat at the words “Can you blame me? She’s a stunner, right?”

“Yeah, well, you shouldn’t be back here.”

“I know, we’re really sorry…I guess, well, I guess the excitement and the champagne…just got me a little…” Stella trailed off, giggling again.

Pooch grinned as Cougar winked at Jensen who’s jaw was set. He could picture exactly the face Stella was making, batting her eyelids all innocently, biting her lip.

And she’d just kissed Roque.

Fucker.

“Go on, get out of here…” the man’s voice instructed Roque and Stella and Roque said something back that Jensen didn’t quite catch as he pulled his ear piece out and turned off his coms link.

“Ok, back to the van.” Clay ordered, looking around at Pooch, Cougar and Jensen, who’s expression looked like that of a bulldog licking piss of a nettle. As the 4 of them headed back down the small lane to the non-descript Cable Company van, Clay shared a glance with Pooch who simply raised his eyebrows. Over the past 3 months since Stella had moved to the base in Virginia, the dynamic between her and Jensen had been the subject of immense puzzlement for the team. Stella had assured Clay when she joined that whatever had been going on was over, as they hadn’t seen each other for a year, but it was clear to see that them being in such close proximity of one another had thrown fuel on the allegedly damp fire.

For all intents and purposes the team basically agreed that they might as well actually be dating. They spent their evenings together, watched movies, went home for the same weekends… the whole “friends with benefits” thing they had going on was also complete bullshit as neither of them was seeing anyone else. Clay got the distinct impression, however, that Jensen was the driving force behind it not being official but here he was acting like a total brat because she’d had to kiss Roque as part of her cover. It was fucking ridiculous, but until either of them ended it or admitted their feelings, there was nothing he could do.  

“We’re out. Heading to you now.” Stella sounded in his ear just as Jensen opened the rear door to the van.

“Good.” He said with a smile as he climbed into the back of the can. “Nice work guys. All of you, job well done.” He said, nodding.

“Yeah, especially you Roque from the sounds of things!” Pooch quipped and Cougar gave a snort as Jensen slammed the ruggedized laptop shut.

“Watch it, that’s worth more than your annual pay check.” Clay pointed at Jensen, then to the laptop.

“Ah don’t mind him Clay, he’s just a little jealous.” Pooch teased.

“Jealous? I’m not jealous.” Jake said, far too quickly “Why would I be jealous?”

“Because Roque just totally tongued your girl” Cougar grinned, making Pooch snigger. Clay rolled his eyes.

“She’s not my girl.” Jensen snapped, and at that exact moment the door to the van slid open. Jensen turned to look at Stella, and he inwardly groaned as he knew full well from the expression on her face she’d heard him. But her outward slip was quick, and she recovered herself fast, stepping into the van closely flowed by Roque.

“Oooh, someone kissed someone.” Pooch grinned and Roque glared at him.

“What are you, 5?”

Stella flopped onto one of the fold down seats in the back, and took the water Clay handed her with a mumbled thanks.

“You ok?” he asked her.

“Yeah.” She nodded “I’m fine. Was just a close one.”

“Can say that again.” Pooch said and Stella rolled her eyes.

“Alright, knock it off.” Clay said, looking at her and then to Jensen who looked like a sulky teenager, and it was too good an opportunity to miss, so with a smirk he added “Otherwise Jensen’s gonna have a fit and as annoying as he is, we need him.”

“Like he cares.” Stella mumbled, and Jake glared at her, positively shooting daggers with his eyes across the van.

Roque chuckled, more amused at Jensen’s attitude than anything “Well if he doesn’t care he’s an idiot. You’re a damned good kisser Arty.”

Stella looked at him, and raised her eyebrow. “Glad I met with your approval Roque.”

Cougar nudged her and she looked at him as he nodded towards Roque, tipping his hat slightly “How was it for you?”

“A solid 7 and a half outta 10.” She shrugged and Clay, Pooch and Cougar erupted into laughter at Roque’s indignant look.

“7 and a half?”

“I docked half a point for the fact you bumped your head into mine…” she shrugged “And it would have been a 9 if you’d felt my ass.”

Pooch banged on the dash of the van, howling with laughter as Clay chuckled deeply, shaking his head. Cougar grinned at Roque who himself gave a snort, and Stella turned her head to look at Jake. Her eyes locked onto his to find him simply looking at her, not a shred of amusement on his face. Eventually he raised his eyebrows and looked away, taking a deep breath.

Stella rolled her eyes and swallowed. Ok, that had been a bit out of order, but hearing what he had said just before had hurt her. Yes, she knew she wasn’t ‘his girl’, she hadn’t been for a while but if she was honest she was struggling with that, and was fast coming to the conclusion that she couldn’t keep doing what she was doing.

The trouble was, she wasn’t sure she was strong enough to end it.

*****

As it turns out, the decision was taken out of her hands. Upon return to base, the relationship between them grew increasingly icy over the following week or so. They had no contact outside of work, and even in work it was civil at best. Stella was angry at Jake’s behaviour, how pathetic he was being over the whole Roque thing, a kiss that had been nothing more than an undercover distraction, but more than anything she was hurt. It was clear to her that he didn’t care about her like he used to. Things had already shifted between them dramatically since that evening a few months ago back home after they’d been out for drinks with Pooch and Jolene. He’d become a little more aloof so to speak, and whilst they still hung out, did all the things they used to do as best friends, and still fucked, she’d noticed how he was less affectionate before and after. Almost like he had deliberately put up a wall to remind her that this was simply an arrangement, so in her mind, especially after his outburst in the van following the latest mission, he had absolutely no right to be pissed at her for kissing or going with anyone, regardless. But, after a fortnight or so of being treated to Jake’s cold stares, being intentionally ignored in conversations, and being subjected to watching him attempting to flirt with any female he came across, Stella went into self-preservation mode and avoided hanging around with any of them outside of work as much as she could.

August ticked into September, and it was almost a month or so after the mission when Clay rocked into the little office the Losers used on the base and Stella smiled at him, looking up from a report she had been writing on a couple of recruits she’d been asked to train.

“I didn’t know you were back.” She smiled as he perched on the edge of her desk.

“Got in this morning.” He replied, “Where’s the rest of the team?”

“Pooch is on Drill Ops, Cougar is on the shooting range and as for Jensen, your guess is as good as mine. I haven’t spoken to him in ages. In fact, I don’t even know if he’s in the State or not.”

“Still?” Clay groaned “Oh come on Arty, don’t you think this has gone on long enough? When are you gonna sort stuff out?”

“When he grows up and apologises for being a jerk.”

“So basically never.” Clay rolled his eyes.

Stella shrugged “I don’t want to talk about it Clay.”

“Fine, whatever.” Clay sighed, “Do you reckon you could at least try to be civil though? It’s gonna make running this team hard work if you two are at each other’s throats. And I don’t wanna have to ask one of you to leave.”

She looked at him, and he stuck his bottom lip out and she sighed before she turned back to her computer “I’ll think about it.”

“Suppose that’s better than a flat out ‘Fuck off, Clay…” he rolled his eyes, hopping off the desk and ruffling her hair. Stella ducked out of the way, swatting at his hand. “Oh, before I go, you got the reports on the Atlanta job?”

“Yeah, they’re in the Red Link area…” Stella pushed her chair back and stood up, smoothing down her uniform top before she gestured for Clay to follow her. Together they made their way down the corridor and Stella stopped at a high-security door, bending down so the scanner pad could take her retina print. Once inside the door shut behind her, and she swiped her ID into the slot to the side of the other thick, glass door which opened in front of her. She moved into the main room and turned, waiting for Clay to enter behind her.

“I fucking hate those things.” Clay mumbled as he stepped through the entrance. “They make me feel like I’m about to plummet through the floor into Thunderbird one.”

Stella chuckled “Its top secret, classified info Clay, you know this.”

She strode over to the key safe positioned on the wall, punched in the code and then selected the relevant key. Clay followed her to the a cabinet at the back which she unlocked and pulled out a Manilla file with the words “MILITARY SECRET- CLASSIFIED” Stamped all over, and the words “Operation Bon Echo” underneath. She handed it to him and then grinned.

“I don’t need to tell you that ya can’t take that outta this room do I?” she teased and Clay shot her a look.

“Stel, I been running Military ops since you were knee high to a grass hopper.” He arched an eyebrow and she laughed.

“Do you want me to stay so we can go through it or…” “No.” he shook his head “I just want to read it now it’s not that fresh in my mind. Helps me analyse it a little better. I’ll call an official Lessons Learned at some point.”

“Ok, well when you’re done make sure you lock up.” She said. “And don’t forget to make sure you swipe your ID again on the way out, or the system will still think you’re here.” “Grasshopper.” Clay looked at her again and she laughed.

“I wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t check.” She smiled “I’ll catch you later.”

Clay waved her off and Stella let herself out. Deciding that she could do with a break she wandered out of the Original Headquarters building she was stationed passing the Kryptos sculpture in the little courtyard and made her way down through the landscaped garden area where a few people were milling around, sat at the various benches, taking in the bright early September Sun that had settled over Virginia. She passed the main entrance to the CIA Museum and made her way over to the Starbucks near the New HQ building. More people were sat outside on the benches and she felt herself inwardly groan as she recognised 3 of them. Pooch, Cougar and Jensen. Of course.

“Hey Arty!” Pooch called and she smiled, making her way over “We were just talking about you.”

“Sounds ominous.” She said, her eyes focussed on him to avoid looking at Jensen.

“We ain’t seen you properly in weeks.” Cougar leaned back in his chair, his hat as always perched on his head.

“Well I’ve been busy” she shrugged, “And speaking of which, I gotta get back so...” she gestured to the door of the Starbucks and smiled.

“Movie and pizza on Friday?” Pooch asked “Jolene’s coming here this weekend, sure she’d be pleased to see you.” “Yeah, maybe.” Stella nodded. Pooch flashed her a smile, as did Cougar, before she turned and walked away.

“So now you’re not even speaking? At all?” Pooch looked at Jensen who shrugged, picking at the label on his Starbucks cup. The words “Glasses” had been scribbled on the side by the barista as a means of identifying who the coffee belonged to. They weren’t allowed to ask the Agents’ names so instead they usually provided physical descriptors of something around their appearance when ordering. Cougars usually bore the word “Cowboy” given that he was rarely without his black Stetson and Pooch’s held the words “Eight Ball” on account of him being that closely shorn he was almost bald. Jake had found it amusing at the time when he’d offered that up to the pretty girl behind the counter…

“You’re being a pain in the ass.” Pooch glared at him. “And a buzzkill.”

“How, what…why am I a buzzkill?” Jensen looked at him, frowning.

“Cos she’s not hanging around with us anymore because you’re being a prick.” Cougar shot back, picking up his coffee and taking a sip.

Jensen ignored Cougar, as he placed the cup down on the table, his finger absentmindedly trailing round the rim of the plastic lid. He knew he’d fucked up. He could remember the hurt in Stella’s eyes when she had opened the door in the van to hear him protesting how she wasn’t his girl. He’d been pissed off, and had snapped it out in a moment of frustration and anger but deep down he knew that it wasn’t true. Well, it was true…she wasn’t his girl anymore, because of decision he had made years ago, a decision that he’d come to with the best of intentions but knowing that didn’t make it any easier.

What hurt him more than anything now, however, was the realisation he’d come to that night of the mission as he’d led in the hotel room. He was still dragging her along with every damned decision he made, and the more he thought about it the more he realised that had been the case through the entire time they’d known one another. They started dating when he finally plucked up the courage to ask her out. They quit because he decided it was right. Then the ‘arrangement’ they had was something he came up with, because it suited him and he’d been selfish, well and truly had his cake and eaten it. She played along with his decisions every damned time and that made him feel like shit. Because she was such a strong, vibrant, stubborn person in every other area of her life. She was fierce, took no shit, she was a fucking bad ass…and the only explanation for her allowing him to be the way he was, was that she loved him, like really loved him. And he didn’t deserve her.

He knew what he had to do, he had to end their arrangement although he was pretty sure it was at an end anyway. Maybe his outburst in the van had been a blessing in disguise. But that said, she was still the best friend he’d ever had, the person he cared about most in the world and he didn’t want her to hate him to the extent she didn’t want to speak to him ever again. He might be a dumbass but he wasn’t stupid, and he certainly wasn’t naive enough to think that things could ever go back to how they were before they’d dated, but he had to try and salvage something…even if it was simply so that she could actually bring herself to hold a conversation.

**** Stella was sat on her sofa, munching on a bag of popcorn when there was a knock on her door. Given that no one had buzzed through, that meant it was someone who lived in the block that housed The Losers’ CIA Owned Condos. Pressing pause on her remote, temporarily halting Simba’s pouncing lesson she padded over to the door and checked through the viewer. When she saw who it was she gave a deep breath and debated not answering it, before she gave her head a shake and mentally told herself to grow up.

“Since when have you started knocking on my door?” she asked, opening it “You usually just walk in…”

“Well given how things have been between us I wasn’t sure you’d appreciate me using my key.” He smiled at her. “Can I come in?”

Stella turned around and headed back inside her condo, “You want a beer?”

“No, it’s ok. Thanks. I errr, I wanna talk to you.”

“Sounds serious?” she turned back to look at him as she crossed towards her sofa. She perched where she had been previously sat, tucking her legs up besides her and Jake took a seat a few cushions down, nodding at the TV.

“You must know this off by heart by now.”

“You know full well I do.”

“Yeah, that and every other damned Disney film out there.” he snorted and she grinned, before she took a deep breath.

“I’m pretty certain you didn’t come over to discuss my Disney obsession Jake.”

“Yeah, erm…” Jensen cleared his throat. “I came to apologise. I’ve been an ass, a childish ass, and I’m sorry.”

Stella looked at him, before she took a deep breath, but she didn’t speak so he carried on.

“I want us to be friends again.” He said gently and she studied him for a moment before she sighed and gave him a soft smile, reaching for his hand.

“I’m sorry too Jake.” She said, licking her lips “I haven’t exactly behaved like a grown up either…and I’ve missed you.”

Jensen looked at her, and saw her eyes were shining and he knew she wasn’t getting him. He let out a soft sigh and hung his head and instantly her hand moved from his, reading his body language and signs as she always could.

“Jakey, what’s wrong?” she asked softly and he raised his head to look at her and he shook it gently side to side. God, she was making this so damned hard.

“I think you got me wrong Stel…” his eyes locked onto hers, his voice soft.

“What do you mean?” she frowned “I thought you wanted things to go back to how they were?”

“I do, but…not like that.” He shook his head “This thing between us, this…arrangement…I think its best we stop.”

Stella felt a wave of cold crashing over her and she temporarily froze as she realised that this was it, his final admission that his feelings for here were nothing more than friendly, that she was nothing more than a convenient way for him to simply get his dick wet from time to time. And now she wasn’t even that.

“Stel?” Jake said softly and she blinked a little, pulling herself together. She gave him the best smile she could muster and nodded.

“If that’s what you want.”

“I think it’s for the best” Jake chose his words carefully, because it wasn’t what he wanted, and despite himself, even now, he couldn’t lie to her.

“Ok.” She nodded, giving him another small smile.

“Hey, we had a good run.” He said, attempting to break the tension and she rolled her eyes.

“You’re a jerk.” She shook her head, and he shrugged.

“I know.”

There was a moment’s pause, and for the first time Jensen could remember, it was fucking awkward. And he had to get out of there. “I err, I should…” her gestured over his shoulder towards the door with his thumb and Stella nodded.

“Sure.” She agreed “I got a film to finish so…”

“I’ll leave you to it.” He said, standing. “Buy you a coffee tomorrow?”

“Yeah, sounds good.” Stella smiled.

He nodded to her, his hand falling to her shoulder as he stood up, giving it a squeeze.

Stella just managed to hold her tears back long enough for him to shut the door behind him.

***** Things between the two of them settled down after that, but there was a shift, that didn’t go unnoticed by them or the rest of the team for that matter. The once best friends turned lovers turned best friends with benefits now had to navigate simply being buddies. It was odd for them both but they managed to remain on good terms.  Not great, but good. They could hold a conversation, laugh, joke…the team was happier because of it. But there were no movie nights, no time spent alone. Neither wanted themselves put in that position, this was the new normal for Jake and Stella now, just how it had to be. It hurt them both- after so long, of course it would…but it was better than nothing.

Another month ticked over, and October brought some cooler weather. The leaves on the trees turned to their firey reds, golds and yellows announcing that Fall had arrived, and brought with it Stella’s favourite thing of the season…pumpkin spiced lattes.

“You have an unhealthy addiction to those things…” Pooch grinned as she picked up the coffee from the counter.

“Best thing about Fall.” She shrugged, turning to leave. She instantly collided with a wall of solid muscle and her precious latte went cascading down the front of her uniform and the crisp, white shirt of the unfortunate man she had collided with.

“Shit!” he yelled and Stella’s hand flew to her mouth

“Oh my God, I’m so, so sorry!” she looked at the man, instantly noticing the deep, blue eyes that looked back at her. They were shining with a natural, kind natured glint and she swallowed as the man sighed, and shook his head.

“Don’t worry about it.” He said, his voice deep “I wasn’t watching where I was going.”

Stella placed the now half-empty cup down on the side, and took the pile of napkins Pooch handed to her.

“Thanks…” she mumbled, before she offered them to the man.

“What, you’re not gonna wipe it down for me?” he winked and she gave a snort before she chuckled a little, shaking her head.

“I think I’m in enough trouble as it is, don’t you?” she smiled and he gave another chuckle, as he dabbed at his shirt which had now started to go a little see through thanks to it being wet. A not entirely unpleasant turn of events in Stella’s opinion. She scanned him up and down quickly, taking in his sharp navy suit, shiny shoes, black tie before she looked back at his face which sported an immaculately trimmed beard, sharp nose and jawline, brow furrowed in concentration as he focussed on cleaning his shirt up.

“No trouble.” He flashed her a smile that lit up his handsome face, his eyes crinkling slight in the corner and Stella swallowed a little, surprised to find her stomach fluttering ever so slightly with butterflies.

“I err, I should go…” she nodded. “I’m sorry again.”

“Like I said, don’t worry about it.”

She gave him another smile, the heat in her necks and cheeks unbearable, before she picked up what was left of her latte and along with Pooch exited the store.

“Ok, so he just totally watched you leave.” Pooch nudged her and she shook her head.

“Stop!”

“Girl he was eye fucking you!” Pooch snorted “And you were eye fucking him!”

“I was not…” she protested, before he looked at her and she laughed, shaking her head “Ok, maybe I was…a little. Girl can look, right?”

“Hey, no judgement from me!” Pooch smiled “You’re young, free, single…”

“Yeah…” Stella sighed, stealing a look over her shoulder taking in the mystery man from behind “That I am. Thanks for the reminder.”

“You know you could just tell him how you feel.” Pooch gently suggested as they walked towards the entrance of their building.

“What?” Stella looked at him. “How I feel? I just, literally bumped into the guy.”

“I don’t mean him, I mean Jensen.”

“What? Why would you…” Stella looked at Pooch who raised an eyebrow at her. She shook her head “That’s done, it’s over. He ended it, again, and this time it’s a clean break. I’m not raking over old ground, Pooch. Nothing good comes of it.”

Pooch looked at her as he swiped his access card, pulling the door open and allowing Stella to step into the building in front of him. She headed down the corridor, her camouflage clad shoulders slumped a little and Pooch sighed.

“Pair of dumbasses.” He mumbled to himself, as he headed after her towards the office.

***** The good thing about Arty and Jensen being on speaking terms was that their team social events were lighter in atmosphere, and at the end of the week when Clay suggested a few beers they all accepted.

It was the Friday before Halloween, and The Losers were gathered in a bar not far from their Condo building. It was packed full of people, some in fancy dress, some not. The bar itself was decked out in Halloween decorations, Jack-O-Lanterns spaced along the dark wood bar and on the taller tables at the sides of the room. As Roque and Clay came back from the bar with drinks for the team, they handed them out and Clay paused as Jensen had picked up the lantern from their table. He held it next to his face and arranged his features into a grin and Pooch snorted as Jensen placed it back down, picking up his beer.

“I take it from the fact you’re back that your pick up line didn’t work on that nurse.” Pooch looked at Jensen who shrugged.

“What was it this time?” Clay asked “Did you use the ‘did it hurt when you fell from heaven’ line or was it more of a ‘I’m a trained, lethal killing machine, wanna see my weapon’ kinda moment?”

Cougar, Roque and Pooch snorted, whilst Cougar looked at Arty who was studying the label on her beer bottle “Tell me you didn’t fall for anything like that?” he quipped.

“JJ never used a chat-up line on me, Coug.” She shrugged and Jake looked at her.

“I was 10 when we met, Stel.” He arched an eyebrow “10 year olds don’t use chat-up lines.”

“We didn’t start dating until we were 17.” She looked at him, taking a swig from her bottle.

“Exactly, seven years later. Didn’t need one.” He winked. She rolled her eyes before she grinned.

“Actually, you kinda used one once…but we’d already been dating for 10 months by that point.”

Jensen frowned “What?”

“Prom night. We got home to yours and you turned to me, and said, and I quote, ‘wanna fuck’?”

Jensen grinned and Cougar looked at them both “Wait, you dated for 10 months before you…” “We did other stuff.” Jake shrugged.

Cougar snorted.

“We were kids, Coug.” Stella smiled

“Awww, did you pop his cherry, Stel?” Pooch grinned and Stella smiled in response.

“Hey, I popped hers too.” Jake chipped in.

“I feel like I should be congratulating you or something.” Clay said, causing the team to laugh and Stella rolled her eyes.

“It wasn’t some big mission, Clay…” She looked at him and Jensen snorted.

“It felt like it.” He placed his bottle on the table before he smirked “I had to get my dad to make sure the house was empty.”

That entire day was imprinted on his brain, fresh as if it had happened only yesterday…but in that moment he was taken back to the conversation with his dad as he stood in the living room, just before heading out to pick Stella up.

“Hey dad…” Jake looked up as John walked into the room. “Will anyone be home when I get back?”

John Jensen looked at his son, arching an eyebrow “I know your game…” Jake shrugged and grinned. “Just…oh, I dunno, just be careful ok? I’ll take your mom out for a drink but I can’t promise we’ll be out late.”

“That’s ok.” Jake said, “Me and Stel aint planning on staying too long anyway. Just long enough to see who spikes the punch or starts the first fight.”

“As long as it ain’t you.” His dad looked at him and Jake grinned.

“Hey, I’m a lover not a fighter.”

“Yeah, sure you can kill ‘em all with love when you join the army.” John snorted and Jake shrugged.

“Come here, let me sort your tie…” John sighed, stepping forward to straighten the knot. “Fuck, I can’t believe I’m asking you this but…you got any condoms son?”

“A few.” Jake shrugged.

At that John laughed “ A few? I admire your optimism.” He paused and then narrowed his eyes “Did you steal them from my stash?”

“No I bought em, Jesus…” Jake groaned “Like I needed that image.”

“Yeah because the image of my 18 year old son banging his childhood sweetheart is so much better.” John rolled his eyes.

“You and mom are like a hundred or whatever.” Jake looked at him, pulling a disgusted face “It’s gross.”

“Ok.. Now listen to me. If your mother finds out you’re…you know…this conversation, never happened.” John stepped back “You hear me?”

“Loud and clear pops.” Jake nodded “You know though, Stel’s stayed here before. Mom didn’t seem to mind.” “That’s because your mother never heard you hitting each base like I did. She thinks Stella stays in the spare room, whereas I know full well she stays with you and then sneaks back in there before everyone gets up…”

His dad had come through for him. He house was empty when they got back. His mom had actually been cool about it all as well to be fair, she loved Stella, still did as a matter of fact. As the memory of the morning after their first time came back to him, he grinned and looked at Arty.

“Remember mom knocking on my door in the morning, asking if she was bringing 2 cups of coffee in or 1?”

“Fuck, yes.” Stella snored “I nearly died of embarrassment.”

“But she never bothered putting you in the spare room again.” He winked as the group laughed. “Good times.”

“Yeah, yeah they were.” Stella sighed, before her eyes fell back to her bottle of beer, biting back the snipe she had brewing in her mind.

Before you fucked it all up…

“Hey…” Pooch nudged her and she looked at him, noticing he was watching something at the bar “Aint that flash coffee dude?”

“What?” Stella asked, her eyes snapping to where Pooch was looking “Oh yeah.”

“Who’s flash coffee dude?” Clay asked.

“Guy at the bar in the grey sweater.” Pooch said, grinning “Arty spilt a pumpkin spiced latte all down his shirt. He didn’t seem to mind though, was too busy undressing her with his eyes.”

At that Jake’s head snapped up and he looked over at the man who was stood with another guy a little shorter than him, chatting as he perched effortlessly on one of the high stools, his long jean clad legs stretching out in front of him, right foot resting on the rail at the bottom.

“That’s Evan Christianson.” Roque said “He works in Intel.”

“What kind of a dick name is that?” Jensen snorted

“Who cares?” Stella said, her eyes still on the man “With a body and face like that he can be called what the fuck he wants. Look at his poise…”

“You know…” Cougar took a pull of his beer “I’m not gay but I’m considering giving it a go.”

They all laughed bar Jensen who was studying the man Stella seemed to have the hots for. He wasn’t surprised at all to feel that green eyed monster stirring in his belly, but what could he do? They were free agents, it wasn’t like he expected her to stay single forever. He stole a look at Stella who was smirking a little at something Cougar had just said, shaking her head.

“Absolutely not, I’ll make a tit of myself.” She protested.

“You already did that when you spilt coffee all down him.” Pooch smirked “Don’t be a pussy.”

Stella bit her lip, weighing up her options. Should she? Could she? In the corner of her eye she saw Jake turn away, and momentarily felt a flash of guilt before she shook herself out of it.

He doesn’t want you anymore…

“Oh fuck it…” She shrugged, and grabbing her beer she headed off in the direction of the bar.

“Where is she going?” Jake asked.

“Don’t be a dumbass Jensen.” Roque smirked “It’s obvious.”

The men watched as Stella reached Evan and gently tapped his shoulder. He spun round and flashed her a huge grin, showing immaculate white teeth as he said something to her.

“Why is he smiling at her like that?” Jensen demanded and Clay looked at Pooch.

Cougar snorted “He likes her.”

“No shit Cougs…” Roque looked at him.

“Oh, he’s buying her a drink…” Pooch said, as Evan nodded towards Stella’s beer and then turned towards the bar tender.

“We have lift off boys!” Clay grinned, and the group smirked at one another, before they turned away, not wanting to watch or intrude. Jensen’s eyes, however, remained where they were until Clay slapped him on the shoulder.

“Cheer up Jensen.” He said gently

“I’m not…I don’t need to cheer up.” Jake shrugged, turning back to his beer. His eyes flickered around the bar then, deliberately avoiding the two of them stood at the bar before he focussed in on the Nurse he’d been talking to before he rolled his shoulders back and stated “Innabit losers, I got stuff to do.”

He headed across the bar towards the blonde and the remaining 4 men all looked at one another before shrugging, and continuing with their conversation. But Clay, always the leader, made sure to keep one eye on them both.

****

“It should be me buying you a drink.” Stella smiled and Evan laughed.

“Well what kind of gentleman would that make me?”

“The kind who had a hot cup of coffee spilt on him by a clumsy ass Captain who wasn’t watching where she was going.”

“Well, if I was the type of guy to use a pick up line, I’d tell you I was impressed that the clumsy, but might fine ass, belongs to a Captain.” He smiled and Stella grinned, her ego stoked a little at the veiled compliment to both her appearance and rank.

“Flattery will get you everywhere.” She flirted back, thanking him as the bar tender slid their drinks over to them.

“I hope so.” He winked, taking a pull from his bottle. “I’m Evan by the way.”

“Evan Christianson, yeah I know.” She smiled, taking a drink herself and he looked at her, his eyebrow raised “Roque told me.”

“Oh you know Roque?”

“Yeah. We worked together under Clay.” She nodded to her team where they were all stood round their table, noticing that Jensen wasn’t with them. But before she could think anymore of it Evan spoke again, as he raised his beer to Roque who did the same in acknowledgement.

“Small world.” He smiled at Arty. “So, do I get to know your name or…”

“It’s Stella.” She smiled, “Stella Stevenson, or as that lot call me Arty…”

“Let me guess, short for Artois, like the drink.” He smiled and she laughed, nodding. “Well, Stella or Arty, pleased to meet you. Again.”

“I promise to try not to spill a drink on you this time.” She smiled and Evan gave a little chuckle.

“Well I am partial to a pumpkin spiced latte, prefer to drink them though not wear them if I can help it.”

“I thought you wore it pretty well to be fair.” Stella smiled and he raised an eyebrow, a cheeky glint flashed in his eyes.

“That so?”

She bit her lip and turned back to her drink, picking it up and taking a big sip, smiling to herself as she felt Evan’s eyes studying her face.

From there the conversation began to flow. Evan told her a bit about him, his role in the Intel branch, how he’d himself been in the Navy having worked his way up to Commander by the time he was 30 before leaving a few years back to join the CIA. He was a few years older than her at thirty-five, and hailed from Boston, although Arty had sussed that anyway through his accent. She in turn told him about her life, her career and a little about her family. He seemed interested, genuinely. Asked her questions, answered hers as he bought another couple of drinks, each time declining Stella’s offer to pay.

It was a surprise to her just how easy the conversation and gentle flirting came to her. Whilst her and Jensen hadn’t been together or badged as exclusive, she hadn’t had any kind of relationship since he’d ended things with her 5 years or so ago. She hadn’t been interested, but here…well, she was finding that interest piqued.

A few hours later she left the bar with a smile on her face…and Evan Christian’s number safely stored in her phone.

***** Chapter 2 Part 1

[what-is-your-plan-today]

Too Loose And You’ll Lose It

Ch 2- I’m Not Jealous, Why Would I Be Jealous

Co-written with @icanfeelastormbrewing​

Summary: The Losers run their first mission together since they bust the Child Sex Trafficking Ring a few months ago, and things don’t quite go according to plan, leading to some nasty tension between Jake and Stella. As time progresses the rift increases leading Jake to make a decision about the nature of his and Stella’s relationship, and the consequences of his decision lead Stella to make one of her own…

Warnings: Bad Language words. Some angst and 2 dumbasses so afraid to admit their feelings to one another, they’d rather ignore them completely…

Pairing: Jake Jensen x OFC Stella Stevenson.

A/N:  Yeah, yeah, we’re sorry…but what would our fics be without the standard angst and dumbassery…and let’s face it, Jake IS a total dumbass. A lovable dumbass, but still a dumbass. Also, in this is a lot of Creative License. There’s limited detail about the CIA base online (dur) but I do have a fairly good grasp of UK Military codes and security levels as I worked on a lot of bases so we’re running with that…if it’s not directly the same over in the US then…sorry not sorry!

And yes, our other OC in here is shamelessly basically Mr Evans himself...

TLAYLI Masterlist // Main Masterlist 

 August 2007

“OK Losers, let’s fuck this shit up and get home. I got a date in less than 23 hours.” Clay grinned at Pooch who let out a chuckle.

“You sure don’t wanna miss that…she’s volatile.” Roque’s soft baritone came back over the coms.

“Yeah, which means I’d rather not be late.” Clay replied.

“Good call Clay, I’d hate to be picking up the pieces of you like I had to do with Pooch when he missed Future Mrs Pooch’s birthday last month…”  Jensen replied, looking at Pooch as he sat in the van, laptop open “How is Little Pooch performing since she ripped your balls off?”

Pooch glared at him and elbowed him harshly in the ribs “Ouch, Pooch be gentle!” Jensen rubbed at his side, wincing.

Clay rolled his eyes as Pooch and Jensen started bickering between themselves, Cougar’s soft snickering echoed down the coms from his vantage point perched on the building next door. “Ok, seriously, we’re trying to work here and all I can hear is you lot.” Stella hissed, “Can you focus up?”

“Sorry Arty.” Pooch said, shooting one last glare at Jensen who simply arched an eyebrow and sniffed slightly, tapping at the keyboard.

“And I can see you.” Jensen grinned as the CCTV footage of the inside of the office flicked onto the screen “Wave for the Camera Stel…”

At his words, Stella turned to look at the camera which was above her in the corner of the room and flipped him off. Clay gave a snort.

“That’s not a wave sweetheart.” Jake said and she let out a growl.

“Jensen, I swear to God…”

“Enough you two.” Clay groaned “Roque, Arty get on with it. Cougar, sit-rep on the auction.”

“Still going on…” Cougar obliged “Everyone still in the main room.”

“Jakey…” Stella spoke, and as they watched she began to search the room as Roque kept watch at the door. “Are you sure it’s in here?”

“Yup…” Jensen said “The signal says you’re right by it.”

On the screen Stella paused and looked at the large, ornamental cabinet against the right wall. She stooped to examine the lock and then snorted. “Standard dead bolt.”

“You think they’d be a little more careful…” Pooch mused, watching the footage on the laptop.

“Well to be fair they have a lot of security on the door” Stella replied, and with that hitched the skirt of the tight, figure hugging midnight blue body-con dress she was wearing up slightly and retrieved a tiny device from the top of her stockings.

Jake gave a groan, and then a little yelp as Pooch slapped him round the back of the head. “Pooch man…like, didn’t you see that?”

“Shut up!” Clay said, glaring at him, his eyes then flicking back to the screen as Stella began to wrestle with the lock of the cabinet.

“Boss, they’re wrapping up. Cougar spoke. “The device has sold…I got eyes on our middle man…”

“Ok…” Stella said, and they watched as she gave the little picking device a twist to the right before she sharply jabbed it downwards, then up. Then she gave a little “yes” of triumph and yanked the door open, only to then give a groan of frustration.“Shit.”

“Shit, what’s shit?” Roque asked, and Clay saw him turn back to look at her from where he had been peeking out of the door.

“It’s in a damned case…”  She said, yanking it out and dropping it on the desk, crouching down so she was eyelevel with the locks. “These are harder to pick than a fucking padlock.”

“You got company heading your way.” Cougar spoke “2 guys, armed, approaching from your left.”

“Fuck.” Clay mumbled, as Jensen tapped another button and a smaller viewing box appeared in the top right of the monitor displaying footage of the corridor.

“Want me to drop them boss?” Cougar asked.

“Let’s wait a bit, see if we can get out clean.” Clay said. “But be ready just in case.”

“Got about 40 seconds tops until they turn the corner and I won’t have a shot.”

“Roger.” Clay said

“Once Cougar loses sight we have about another 60 seconds before they hit your position.” Jake said, his eyes flashing as he watched the CCTV of the two men walk down the corridor before his eyes moved back to the larger footage box of the room Stella was in. “Come on Stel…”

“I’m going as fast as I can…” she grumbled, twisting the device in the fiddly locks. One of them sprang open and she hastily moved to the other.

It was deadly silent, Jensen holding his breath as his nerves started to get the better of him. Roque and Stella were both unarmed, they had to be to get into the auction in the first place. The only reason Stella had managed to get that lock pick in through the metal detectors was that it was made out of a specialist, plastic resin. His right hand rested over his mouth, fingers pulling at the whiskers on his goatee as his knee began to jerk slightly.

“Ok I got it…” Stella said, and she grabbed the large, metal hard-drive, flipping it over. “Jake now what?”

“The back should screw off.” He said, watching as she flipped it over, dropped it on the desk and hastily worked at the screw positioned at the top.

“I lost sight.” Cougar said.

“Ok, grab the drive and get of there.” Clay instructed and at that point Roque spun back into the room, making to pick it up but Stella slapped his hand away.

“Arty, what…”

“If we do that we’ve no chance of tracking this back via the middle man to the buyer…” she shook her head, still working at the screw.

“Our priority was retrieving the device.” Clay said, “The buyer is a bonus.”

“Stella, do what he says.” Jake said, swallowing nervously “Get out of there, now!”

“No, I almost got this…” Stella mumbled and with a final twist of her wrist the back sprang open. Quick as a flash the three men in the truck watched as Roque pulled off his watch, twisted the back of it and retrieved the data chip inside, handing it to Arty.

“Lift up the large, flat circuit board in the middle.” Jake said, and she followed his instructions, quickly swapping the chips out. She then hastily screwed the back on before jamming it back in the case. She snapped the lock shut, before she rammed it back in the cupboard.

“30 seconds…” Jake muttered, “Stel…come on…”

She didn’t reply, instead she quickly locked the cabinet door and Roque grabbed her hand and they ran into the corridor, running in the opposite direction to the approaching danger.

Jensen hit a button, flipping the footage of the corridor so it filled the screen and felt his blood run cold. He could see the corridor was long. And there was no way Roque and Stel would make it to the corner at the bottom before the men spotted them.

“They’re not gonna make it…” he muttered, and all 3 of them in the van stood up, grabbing their guns.

“Cougar…” Clay instructed as they emerged from the van.

“I’m by the gates” he said simply and Clay cocked his gun.

“Roque, Arty try and hide until we get in there…” he said simply as they sprinted across the road towards where Cougar was waiting, all the time listening to the chatter on the coms.

“Door, door…” Roque muttered “Shit it’s locked…”

“Roque…” Stella hissed.

“What?”

“Shut up and…”

Her voice cut off and Jensen heard a noise on his comms, a noise that sounded very much like…

Oh hell, no.

“Are they…is she…” he looked at Pooch as besides him Cougar started chuckling “Are they kissing?” Jensen wheeled round to look at Clay “Tell me, that’s not kissing I can hear!”

Clay shrugged as Jensen pulled a face, making a disgusted snort through his nose. “Stel, are you kissing Roque? What the fuck-“

“Hey, what the hell are you 2 doing back here?” an unfamiliar voice sounded in Jensen’s ears, followed by the loud noise of lips smacking and he looked at Pooch, his mouth hanging open.

“Sorry…we just…erm…” Stella giggled, “Yeah, we…”

“Can’t keep my hands off her” Roque chuckled, and Jensen couldn’t help the growl that bubbled from his throat at the words “Can you blame me? She’s a stunner, right?”

“Yeah, well, you shouldn’t be back here.”

“I know, we’re really sorry…I guess, well, I guess the excitement and the champagne…just got me a little…” Stella trailed off, giggling again.

Pooch grinned as Cougar winked at Jensen who’s jaw was set. He could picture exactly the face Stella was making, batting her eyelids all innocently, biting her lip.

And she’d just kissed Roque.

Fucker.

“Go on, get out of here…” the man’s voice instructed Roque and Stella and Roque said something back that Jensen didn’t quite catch as he pulled his ear piece out and turned off his coms link.

“Ok, back to the van.” Clay ordered, looking around at Pooch, Cougar and Jensen, who’s expression looked like that of a bulldog licking piss of a nettle. As the 4 of them headed back down the small lane to the non-descript Cable Company van, Clay shared a glance with Pooch who simply raised his eyebrows. Over the past 3 months since Stella had moved to the base in Virginia, the dynamic between her and Jensen had been the subject of immense puzzlement for the team. Stella had assured Clay when she joined that whatever had been going on was over, as they hadn’t seen each other for a year, but it was clear to see that them being in such close proximity of one another had thrown fuel on the allegedly damp fire.

For all intents and purposes the team basically agreed that they might as well actually be dating. They spent their evenings together, watched movies, went home for the same weekends… the whole “friends with benefits” thing they had going on was also complete bullshit as neither of them was seeing anyone else. Clay got the distinct impression, however, that Jensen was the driving force behind it not being official but here he was acting like a total brat because she’d had to kiss Roque as part of her cover. It was fucking ridiculous, but until either of them ended it or admitted their feelings, there was nothing he could do.  

“We’re out. Heading to you now.” Stella sounded in his ear just as Jensen opened the rear door to the van.

“Good.” He said with a smile as he climbed into the back of the can. “Nice work guys. All of you, job well done.” He said, nodding.

“Yeah, especially you Roque from the sounds of things!” Pooch quipped and Cougar gave a snort as Jensen slammed the ruggedized laptop shut.

“Watch it, that’s worth more than your annual pay check.” Clay pointed at Jensen, then to the laptop.

“Ah don’t mind him Clay, he’s just a little jealous.” Pooch teased.

“Jealous? I’m not jealous.” Jake said, far too quickly “Why would I be jealous?”

“Because Roque just totally tongued your girl” Cougar grinned, making Pooch snigger. Clay rolled his eyes.

“She’s not my girl.” Jensen snapped, and at that exact moment the door to the van slid open. Jensen turned to look at Stella, and he inwardly groaned as he knew full well from the expression on her face she’d heard him. But her outward slip was quick, and she recovered herself fast, stepping into the van closely flowed by Roque.

“Oooh, someone kissed someone.” Pooch grinned and Roque glared at him.

“What are you, 5?”

Stella flopped onto one of the fold down seats in the back, and took the water Clay handed her with a mumbled thanks.

“You ok?” he asked her.

“Yeah.” She nodded “I’m fine. Was just a close one.”

“Can say that again.” Pooch said and Stella rolled her eyes.

“Alright, knock it off.” Clay said, looking at her and then to Jensen who looked like a sulky teenager, and it was too good an opportunity to miss, so with a smirk he added “Otherwise Jensen’s gonna have a fit and as annoying as he is, we need him.”

“Like he cares.” Stella mumbled, and Jake glared at her, positively shooting daggers with his eyes across the van.

Roque chuckled, more amused at Jensen’s attitude than anything “Well if he doesn’t care he’s an idiot. You’re a damned good kisser Arty.”

Stella looked at him, and raised her eyebrow. “Glad I met with your approval Roque.”

Cougar nudged her and she looked at him as he nodded towards Roque, tipping his hat slightly “How was it for you?”

“A solid 7 and a half outta 10.” She shrugged and Clay, Pooch and Cougar erupted into laughter at Roque’s indignant look.

“7 and a half?”

“I docked half a point for the fact you bumped your head into mine…” she shrugged “And it would have been a 9 if you’d felt my ass.”

Pooch banged on the dash of the van, howling with laughter as Clay chuckled deeply, shaking his head. Cougar grinned at Roque who himself gave a snort, and Stella turned her head to look at Jake. Her eyes locked onto his to find him simply looking at her, not a shred of amusement on his face. Eventually he raised his eyebrows and looked away, taking a deep breath.

Stella rolled her eyes and swallowed. Ok, that had been a bit out of order, but hearing what he had said just before had hurt her. Yes, she knew she wasn’t ‘his girl’, she hadn’t been for a while but if she was honest she was struggling with that, and was fast coming to the conclusion that she couldn’t keep doing what she was doing.

The trouble was, she wasn’t sure she was strong enough to end it.

*****

As it turns out, the decision was taken out of Stella’s hands. Upon return to base, the relationship between her and Jake grew increasingly icy over the following week or so. They had no contact outside of work, and even in work it was civil at best. Stella was angry at Jake’s behaviour, how pathetic he was being over the whole Roque thing, a kiss that had been nothing more than an undercover distraction, but more than anything she was hurt. It was clear to her that he didn’t care about her like he used to. Things had already shifted between them dramatically since that evening a few months ago back home after they’d been out for drinks with Pooch and Jolene. He’d become a little more aloof so to speak, and whilst they still hung out, did all the things they used to do as best friends, and still fucked, she’d noticed how he was less affectionate before and after. Almost like he had deliberately put up a wall to remind her that this was simply an arrangement, so in her mind, especially after his outburst in the van following the latest mission, he had absolutely no right to be pissed at her for kissing or going with anyone, regardless. But, after a fortnight or so of being treated to Jake’s cold stares, being intentionally ignored in conversations, and being subjected to watching him attempting to flirt with any female he came across, Stella went into self-preservation mode and avoided hanging around with any of them outside of work as much as she could.

August ticked into September, and it was almost a month or so after the mission when Clay rocked into the little office the Losers used on the base and Stella smiled at him, looking up from a report she had been writing on a couple of recruits she’d been asked to train.

“I didn’t know you were back.” She smiled as he perched on the edge of her desk.

“Got in this morning.” He replied, “Where’s the rest of the team?”

“Pooch is on Drill Ops, Cougar is on the shooting range and as for Jensen, your guess is as good as mine. I haven’t spoken to him in ages. In fact, I don’t even know if he’s in the State or not.”

“Still?” Clay groaned “Oh come on Arty, don’t you think this has gone on long enough? When are you gonna sort stuff out?”

“When he grows up and apologises for being a jerk.”

“So basically never.” Clay rolled his eyes.

Stella shrugged “I don’t want to talk about it Clay.”

“Fine, whatever.” Clay sighed, “Do you reckon you could at least try to be civil though? It’s gonna make running this team hard work if you two are at each other’s throats. And I don’t wanna have to ask one of you to leave.”

She looked at him, and he stuck his bottom lip out and she sighed before she turned back to her computer “I’ll think about it.”

“Suppose that’s better than a flat out ‘Fuck off, Clay…” he rolled his eyes, hopping off the desk and ruffling her hair. Stella ducked out of the way, swatting at his hand. “Oh, before I go, you got the reports on the Atlanta job?”

“Yeah, they’re in the Red Link area…” Stella pushed her chair back and stood up, smoothing down her uniform top before she gestured for Clay to follow her. Together they made their way down the corridor and Stella stopped at a high-security door, bending down so the scanner pad could take her retina print. Once inside the door shut behind her, and she swiped her ID into the slot to the side of the other thick, glass door which opened in front of her. She moved into the main room and turned, waiting for Clay to enter behind her.

“I fucking hate those things.” Clay mumbled as he stepped through the entrance. “They make me feel like I’m about to plummet through the floor into Thunderbird one.”

Stella chuckled “Its top secret, classified info Clay, you know this.”

She strode over to the key safe positioned on the wall, punched in the code and then selected the relevant key. Clay followed her to the a cabinet at the back which she unlocked and pulled out a Manilla file with the words “MILITARY SECRET- CLASSIFIED” Stamped all over, and the words “Operation Bon Echo” underneath. She handed it to him and then grinned.

“I don’t need to tell you that ya can’t take that outta this room do I?” she teased and Clay shot her a look.

“Stel, I been running Military ops since you were knee high to a grass hopper.” He arched an eyebrow and she laughed.

“Do you want me to stay so we can go through it or…” “No.” he shook his head “I just want to read it now it’s not that fresh in my mind. Helps me analyse it a little better. I’ll call an official Lessons Learned at some point.”

“Ok, well when you’re done make sure you lock up.” She said. “And don’t forget to make sure you swipe your ID again on the way out, or the system will still think you’re here.” “Grasshopper.” Clay looked at her again and she laughed.

“I wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t check.” She smiled “I’ll catch you later.”

Clay waved her off and Stella let herself out. Deciding that she could do with a break she wandered out of the Original Headquarters building she was stationed passing the Kryptos sculpture in the little courtyard and made her way down through the landscaped garden area where a few people were milling around, sat at the various benches, taking in the bright early September Sun that had settled over Virginia. She passed the main entrance to the CIA Museum and made her way over to the Starbucks near the New HQ building. More people were sat outside on the benches and she felt herself inwardly groan as she recognised 3 of them. Pooch, Cougar and Jensen. Of course.

“Hey Arty!” Pooch called and she smiled, making her way over “We were just talking about you.”

“Sounds ominous.” She said, her eyes focussed on him to avoid looking at Jensen.

“We ain’t seen you properly in weeks.” Cougar leaned back in his chair, his hat as always perched on his head.

“Well I’ve been busy” she shrugged, “And speaking of which, I gotta get back so...” she gestured to the door of the Starbucks and smiled.

“Movie and pizza on Friday?” Pooch asked “Jolene’s coming here this weekend, sure she’d be pleased to see you.” “Yeah, maybe.” Stella nodded. Pooch flashed her a smile, as did Cougar, before she turned and walked away.

“So now you’re not even speaking? At all?” Pooch looked at Jensen who shrugged, picking at the label on his Starbucks cup. The words “Glasses” had been scribbled on the side by the barista as a means of identifying who the coffee belonged to. They weren’t allowed to ask the Agents’ names so instead they usually provided physical descriptors of something around their appearance when ordering. Cougars usually bore the word “Cowboy” given that he was rarely without his black Stetson and Pooch’s held the words “Eight Ball” on account of him being that closely shorn he was almost bald. Jake had found it amusing at the time when he’d offered that up to the pretty girl behind the counter…

“You’re being a pain in the ass.” Pooch glared at him. “And a buzzkill.”

“How, what…why am I a buzzkill?” Jensen looked at him, frowning.

“Cos she’s not hanging around with us anymore because you’re being a prick.” Cougar shot back, picking up his coffee and taking a sip.

Jensen ignored Cougar, as he placed the cup down on the table, his finger absentmindedly trailing round the rim of the plastic lid. He knew he’d fucked up. He could remember the hurt in Stella’s eyes when she had opened the door in the van to hear him protesting how she wasn’t his girl. He’d been pissed off, and had snapped it out in a moment of frustration and anger but deep down he knew that it wasn’t true. Well, it was true…she wasn’t his girl anymore, because of decision he had made years ago, a decision that he’d come to with the best of intentions but knowing that didn’t make it any easier.

What hurt him more than anything now, however, was the realisation he’d come to that night of the mission as he’d led in the hotel room. He was still dragging her along with every damned decision he made, and the more he thought about it the more he realised that had been the case through the entire time they’d known one another. They started dating when he finally plucked up the courage to ask her out. They quit because he decided it was right. Then the ‘arrangement’ they had was something he came up with, because it suited him and he’d been selfish, well and truly had his cake and eaten it. She played along with his decisions every damned time and that made him feel like shit. Because she was such a strong, vibrant, stubborn person in every other area of her life. She was fierce, took no shit, she was a fucking bad ass…and the only explanation for her allowing him to be the way he was, was that she loved him, like really loved him. And he didn’t deserve her.

He knew what he had to do, he had to end their arrangement although he was pretty sure it was at an end anyway. Maybe his outburst in the van had been a blessing in disguise. But that said, she was still the best friend he’d ever had, the person he cared about most in the world and he didn’t want her to hate him to the extent she didn’t want to speak to him ever again. He might be a dumbass but he wasn’t stupid, and he certainly wasn’t naive enough to think that things could ever go back to how they were before they’d dated, but he had to try and salvage something…even if it was simply so that she could actually bring herself to hold a conversation.

**** Stella was sat on her sofa, munching on a bag of popcorn when there was a knock on her door. Given that no one had buzzed through, that meant it was someone who lived in the block that housed The Losers’ CIA Owned Condos. Pressing pause on her remote, temporarily halting Simba’s pouncing lesson she padded over to the door and checked through the viewer. When she saw who it was she gave a deep breath and debated not answering it, before she gave her head a shake and mentally told herself to grow up.

“Since when have you started knocking on my door?” she asked, opening it “You usually just walk in…”

“Well given how things have been between us I wasn’t sure you’d appreciate me using my key.” He smiled at her. “Can I come in?”

Stella turned around and headed back inside her condo, “You want a beer?”

“No, it’s ok. Thanks. I errr, I wanna talk to you.”

“Sounds serious?” she turned back to look at him as she crossed towards her sofa. She perched where she had been previously sat, tucking her legs up besides her and Jake took a seat a few cushions down, nodding at the TV.

“You must know this off by heart by now.”

“You know full well I do.”

“Yeah, that and every other damned Disney film out there.” he snorted and she grinned, before she took a deep breath.

“I’m pretty certain you didn’t come over to discuss my Disney obsession Jake.”

“Yeah, erm…” Jensen cleared his throat. “I came to apologise. I’ve been an ass, a childish ass, and I’m sorry.”

Stella looked at him, before she took a deep breath, but she didn’t speak so he carried on.

“I want us to be friends again.” He said gently and she studied him for a moment before she sighed and gave him a soft smile, reaching for his hand.

“I’m sorry too Jake.” She said, licking her lips “I haven’t exactly behaved like a grown up either…and I’ve missed you.”

Jensen looked at her, and saw her eyes were shining and he knew she wasn’t getting him. He let out a soft sigh and hung his head and instantly her hand moved from his, reading his body language and signs as she always could.

“Jakey, what’s wrong?” she asked softly and he raised his head to look at her and he shook it gently side to side. God, she was making this so damned hard.

“I think you got me wrong Stel…” his eyes locked onto hers, his voice soft.

“What do you mean?” she frowned “I thought you wanted things to go back to how they were?”

“I do, but…not like that.” He shook his head “This thing between us, this…arrangement…I think its best we stop.”

Stella felt a wave of cold crashing over her and she temporarily froze as she realised that this was it, his final admission that his feelings for here were nothing more than friendly, that she was nothing more than a convenient way for him to simply get his dick wet from time to time. And now she wasn’t even that.

“Stel?” Jake said softly and she blinked a little, pulling herself together. She gave him the best smile she could muster and nodded.

“If that’s what you want.”

“I think it’s for the best” Jake chose his words carefully, because it wasn’t what he wanted, and despite himself, even now, he couldn’t lie to her.

“Ok.” She nodded, giving him another small smile.

“Hey, we had a good run.” He said, attempting to break the tension and she rolled her eyes.

“You’re a jerk.” She shook her head, and he shrugged.

“I know.”

There was a moment’s pause, and for the first time Jensen could remember, it was fucking awkward. And he had to get out of there. “I err, I should…” her gestured over his shoulder towards the door with his thumb and Stella nodded.

“Sure.” She agreed “I got a film to finish so…”

“I’ll leave you to it.” He said, standing. “Buy you a coffee tomorrow?”

“Yeah, sounds good.” Stella smiled.

He nodded to her, his hand falling to her shoulder as he stood up, giving it a squeeze.

Stella just managed to hold her tears back long enough for him to shut the door behind him.

***** Things between the two of them settled down after that, but there was a shift, that didn’t go unnoticed by them or the rest of the team for that matter. The once best friends turned lovers turned best friends with benefits now had to navigate simply being buddies. It was odd for them both but they managed to remain on good terms.  Not great, but good. They could hold a conversation, laugh, joke…the team was happier because of it. But there were no movie nights, no time spent alone. Neither wanted themselves put in that position, this was the new normal for Jake and Stella now, just how it had to be. It hurt them both- after so long, of course it would…but it was better than nothing.

Another month ticked over, and October brought some cooler weather. The leaves on the trees turned to their firey reds, golds and yellows announcing that Fall had arrived, and brought with it Stella’s favourite thing of the season…pumpkin spiced lattes.

“You have an unhealthy addiction to those things…” Pooch grinned as she picked up the coffee from the counter.

“Best thing about Fall.” She shrugged, turning to leave. She instantly collided with a wall of solid muscle and her precious latte went cascading down the front of her uniform and the crisp, white shirt of the unfortunate man she had collided with.

“Shit!” he yelled and Stella’s hand flew to her mouth

“Oh my God, I’m so, so sorry!” she looked at the man, instantly noticing the deep, blue eyes that looked back at her. They were shining with a natural, kind natured glint and she swallowed as the man sighed, and shook his head.

“Don’t worry about it.” He said, his voice deep “I wasn’t watching where I was going.”

Stella placed the now half-empty cup down on the side, and took the pile of napkins Pooch handed to her.

“Thanks…” she mumbled, before she offered them to the man.

“What, you’re not gonna wipe it down for me?” he winked and she gave a snort before she chuckled a little, shaking her head.

“I think I’m in enough trouble as it is, don’t you?” she smiled and he gave another chuckle, as he dabbed at his shirt which had now started to go a little see through thanks to it being wet. A not entirely unpleasant turn of events in Stella’s opinion. She scanned him up and down quickly, taking in his sharp navy suit, shiny shoes, black tie before she looked back at his face which sported an immaculately trimmed beard, sharp nose and jawline, brow furrowed in concentration as he focussed on cleaning his shirt up.

“No trouble.” He flashed her a smile that lit up his handsome face, his eyes crinkling slight in the corner and Stella swallowed a little, surprised to find her stomach fluttering ever so slightly with butterflies.

“I err, I should go…” she nodded. “I’m sorry again.”

“Like I said, don’t worry about it.”

She gave him another smile, the heat in her necks and cheeks unbearable, before she picked up what was left of her latte and along with Pooch exited the store.

“Ok, so he just totally watched you leave.” Pooch nudged her and she shook her head.

“Stop!”

“Girl he was eye fucking you!” Pooch snorted “And you were eye fucking him!”

“I was not…” she protested, before he looked at her and she laughed, shaking her head “Ok, maybe I was…a little. Girl can look, right?”

“Hey, no judgement from me!” Pooch smiled “You’re young, free, single…”

“Yeah…” Stella sighed, stealing a look over her shoulder taking in the mystery man from behind “That I am. Thanks for the reminder.”

“You know you could just tell him how you feel.” Pooch gently suggested as they walked towards the entrance of their building.

“What?” Stella looked at him. “How I feel? I just, literally bumped into the guy.”

“I don’t mean him, I mean Jensen.”

“What? Why would you…” Stella looked at Pooch who raised an eyebrow at her. She shook her head “That’s done, it’s over. He ended it, again, and this time it’s a clean break. I’m not raking over old ground, Pooch. Nothing good comes of it.”

Pooch looked at her as he swiped his access card, pulling the door open and allowing Stella to step into the building in front of him. She headed down the corridor, her camouflage clad shoulders slumped a little and Pooch sighed.

“Pair of dumbasses.” He mumbled to himself, as he headed after her towards the office.

***** The good thing about Arty and Jensen being on speaking terms was that their team social events were lighter in atmosphere, and at the end of the week when Clay suggested a few beers they all accepted.

It was the Friday before Halloween, and The Losers were gathered in a bar not far from their Condo building. It was packed full of people, some in fancy dress, some not. The bar itself was decked out in Halloween decorations, Jack-O-Lanterns spaced along the dark wood bar and on the taller tables at the sides of the room. As Roque and Clay came back from the bar with drinks for the team, they handed them out and Clay paused as Jensen had picked up the lantern from their table. He held it next to his face and arranged his features into a grin and Pooch snorted as Jensen placed it back down, picking up his beer.

“I take it from the fact you’re back that your pick up line didn’t work on that nurse.” Pooch looked at Jensen who shrugged.

“What was it this time?” Clay asked “Did you use the ‘did it hurt when you fell from heaven’ line or was it more of a ‘I’m a trained, lethal killing machine, wanna see my weapon’ kinda moment?”

Cougar, Roque and Pooch snorted, whilst Cougar looked at Arty who was studying the label on her beer bottle “Tell me you didn’t fall for anything like that?” he quipped.

“JJ never used a chat-up line on me, Coug.” She shrugged and Jake looked at her.

“I was 11 when we met, Stel.” He arched an eyebrow “11 year olds don’t use chat-up lines.”

“We didn’t start dating until we were 17.” She looked at him, taking a swig from her bottle.

“Exactly, six years later. Didn’t need one.” He winked. She rolled her eyes before she grinned.

“Actually, you kinda used one once…but we’d already been dating for 10 months by that point.”

Jensen frowned “What?”

“Prom night. When you told me the house was empty because you’d told your dad to scram for the evening...”

“Awww, did you pop his cherry, Stel?” Pooch grinned and Stella smiled in response.

“Hey, I popped hers too.” Jake chipped in.

“I feel like I should be congratulating you or something.” Clay said, causing the team to laugh and Stella rolled her eyes.

“It wasn’t some big mission, Clay…” She looked at him and Jensen snorted.

“It felt like it.” He placed his bottle on the table before he smirked “I had to get my dad to make sure the house was empty.”

That entire day was imprinted on his brain, fresh as if it had happened only yesterday…but in that moment he was taken back to the conversation with his dad as he stood in the living room, just before heading out to pick Stella up.

“Hey dad…” Jake looked up as John walked into the room. “Will anyone be home when I get back?”

John Jensen looked at his son, arching an eyebrow “I know your game…” Jake shrugged and grinned. “Just…oh, I dunno, just be careful ok? I’ll take your mom out for a drink but I can’t promise we’ll be out late.”

“That’s ok.” Jake said, “Me and Stel aint planning on staying too long anyway. Just long enough to see who spikes the punch or starts the first fight.”

“As long as it ain’t you.” His dad looked at him and Jake grinned.

“Hey, I’m a lover not a fighter.”

“Yeah, sure you can kill ‘em all with love when you join the army.” John snorted and Jake shrugged.

“Come here, let me sort your tie…” John sighed, stepping forward to straighten the knot. “Fuck, I can’t believe I’m asking you this but…you got any condoms son?”

“A few.” Jake shrugged.

At that John laughed “ A few? I admire your optimism.” He paused and then narrowed his eyes “Did you steal them from my stash?”

“No I bought em, Jesus…” Jake groaned “Like I needed that image.”

“Yeah because the image of my 18 year old son banging his childhood sweetheart is so much better.” John rolled his eyes.

“You and mom are like a hundred or whatever.” Jake looked at him, pulling a disgusted face “It’s gross.”

“Ok.. Now listen to me. If your mother finds out you’re…you know…this conversation, never happened.” John stepped back “You hear me?”

“Loud and clear pops.” Jake nodded “You know though, Stel’s stayed here before. Mom didn’t seem to mind.” “That’s because your mother never heard you hitting each base like I did. She thinks Stella stays in the spare room, whereas I know full well she stays with you and then sneaks back in there before everyone gets up…”

His dad had come through for him. He house was empty when they got back. His mom had actually been cool about it all as well to be fair, she loved Stella, still did as a matter of fact. As the memory of the morning after their first time came back to him, he grinned and looked at Arty.

“Remember mom knocking on my door in the morning, asking if she was bringing 2 cups of coffee in or 1?”

“Fuck, yes.” Stella snored “I nearly died of embarrassment.”

“But she never bothered putting you in the spare room again.” He winked as the group laughed. “Good times.”

“Yeah, yeah they were.” Stella sighed, before her eyes fell back to her bottle of beer, biting back the snipe she had brewing in her mind.

Before you fucked it all up…

“Hey…” Pooch nudged her and she looked at him, noticing he was watching something at the bar “Aint that flash coffee dude?”

“What?” Stella asked, her eyes snapping to where Pooch was looking “Oh yeah.”

“Who’s flash coffee dude?” Clay asked.

“Guy at the bar in the grey sweater.” Pooch said, grinning “Arty spilt a pumpkin spiced latte all down his shirt. He didn’t seem to mind though, was too busy undressing her with his eyes.”

At that Jake’s head snapped up and he looked over at the man who was stood with another guy a little shorter than him, chatting as he perched effortlessly on one of the high stools, his long jean clad legs stretching out in front of him, right foot resting on the rail at the bottom.

“That’s Evan Christianson.” Roque said “He works in Intel.”

“What kind of a dick name is that?” Jensen snorted

“Who cares?” Stella said, her eyes still on the man “With a body and face like that he can be called what the fuck he wants. Look at his poise…”

“You know…” Cougar took a pull of his beer “I’m not gay but I’m considering giving it a go.”

They all laughed bar Jensen who was studying the man Stella seemed to have the hots for. He wasn’t surprised at all to feel that green eyed monster stirring in his belly, but what could he do? They were free agents, it wasn’t like he expected her to stay single forever. He stole a look at Stella who was smirking a little at something Cougar had just said, shaking her head.

“Absolutely not, I’ll make a tit of myself.” She protested.

“You already did that when you spilt coffee all down him.” Pooch smirked “Don’t be a pussy.”

Stella bit her lip, weighing up her options. Should she? Could she? In the corner of her eye she saw Jake turn away, and momentarily felt a flash of guilt before she shook herself out of it.

He doesn’t want you anymore…

“Oh fuck it…” She shrugged, and grabbing her beer she headed off in the direction of the bar.

“Where is she going?” Jake asked.

“Don’t be a dumbass Jensen.” Roque smirked “It’s obvious.”

The men watched as Stella reached Evan and gently tapped his shoulder. He spun round and flashed her a huge grin, showing immaculate white teeth as he said something to her.

“Why is he smiling at her like that?” Jensen demanded and Clay looked at Pooch.

Cougar snorted “He likes her.”

“No shit Cougs…” Roque looked at him.

“Oh, he’s buying her a drink…” Pooch said, as Evan nodded towards Stella’s beer and then turned towards the bar tender.

“We have lift off boys!” Clay grinned, and the group smirked at one another, before they turned away, not wanting to watch or intrude. Jensen’s eyes, however, remained where they were until Clay slapped him on the shoulder.

“Cheer up Jensen.” He said gently

“I’m not…I don’t need to cheer up.” Jake shrugged, turning back to his beer. His eyes flickered around the bar then, deliberately avoiding the two of them stood at the bar before he focussed in on the Nurse he’d been talking to before he rolled his shoulders back and stated “Innabit losers, I got stuff to do.”

He headed across the bar towards the blonde and the remaining 4 men all looked at one another before shrugging, and continuing with their conversation. But Clay, always the leader, made sure to keep one eye on them both.

****

“It should be me buying you a drink.” Stella smiled and Evan laughed.

“Well what kind of gentleman would that make me?”

“The kind who had a hot cup of coffee spilt on him by a clumsy ass Captain who wasn’t watching where she was going.”

“Well, if I was the type of guy to use a pick up line, I’d tell you I was impressed that the clumsy, but might fine ass, belongs to a Captain.” He smiled and Stella grinned, her ego stoked a little at the veiled compliment to both her appearance and rank.

“Flattery will get you everywhere.” She flirted back, thanking him as the bar tender slid their drinks over to them.

“I hope so.” He winked, taking a pull from his bottle. “I’m Evan by the way.”

“Evan Christianson, yeah I know.” She smiled, taking a drink herself and he looked at her, his eyebrow raised “Roque told me.”

“Oh you know Roque?”

“Yeah. We worked together under Clay.” She nodded to her team where they were all stood round their table, noticing that Jensen wasn’t with them. But before she could think anymore of it Evan spoke again, as he raised his beer to Roque who did the same in acknowledgement.

“Small world.” He smiled at Arty. “So, do I get to know your name or…”

“It’s Stella.” She smiled, “Stella Stevenson, or as that lot call me Arty…”

“Let me guess, short for Artois, like the drink.” He smiled and she laughed, nodding. “Well, Stella or Arty, pleased to meet you. Again.”

“I promise to try not to spill a drink on you this time.” She smiled and Evan gave a little chuckle.

“Well I am partial to a pumpkin spiced latte, prefer to drink them though not wear them if I can help it.”

“I thought you wore it pretty well to be fair.” Stella smiled and he raised an eyebrow, a cheeky glint flashed in his eyes.

“That so?”

She bit her lip and turned back to her drink, picking it up and taking a big sip, smiling to herself as she felt Evan’s eyes studying her face.

From there the conversation began to flow. Evan told her a bit about him, his role in the Intel branch, how he’d himself been in the Navy having worked his way up to Commander by the time he was 30 before leaving a few years back to join the CIA. He was a few years older than her at thirty-five, and hailed from Boston, although Arty had sussed that anyway through his accent. She in turn told him about her life, her career and a little about her family. He seemed interested, genuinely. Asked her questions, answered hers as he bought another couple of drinks, each time declining Stella’s offer to pay.

It was a surprise to her just how easy the conversation and gentle flirting came to her. Whilst her and Jensen hadn’t been together or badged as exclusive, she hadn’t had any kind of relationship since he’d ended things with her 5 years or so ago. She hadn’t been interested, but here…well, she was finding that interest piqued.

A few hours later she left the bar with a smile on her face…and Evan Christianson’s number safely stored in her phone.

[crocodilenialledfics]

You’re all I need (the air I breathe)

five - in which Stella and Niall go on dates 

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love-at-first-sight, falling-too-fast, uni au that will make your heart ache (in a good way)

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Stella found herself chewing on her nails as she waited for Niall outside the dormitory. He was five minutes late without a text. The anxiety began to pool inside of her belly. 

Stella was nervous and anxious. She was nervous for the date, anxious because Niall was late. He was getting later by the second. Stella pulled her finger out of her mouth just long enough to call him, phone pressed against her ear. 

“Fuck,” she muttered as it went to voicemail. She stood up from her seat on the bench, heading back inside. 

What else could she do besides try to find him? She took the steps to his floor, breathless by the time she reached his door. She knocked and crossed her arms over her chest. 

The door opened a few seconds later. Niall’s eyes widened when the realization hit him, “Stella,” he murmured. 

“You forgot?” Stella asked. 

“Something came up,” he told her, voice quiet. “Can we-“

“Niall?” A voice said from inside the room. “I came all this way and-“

Stella was convinced that she was blacked out, watching Niall’s mouth move. She couldn’t hear anything he was saying. Her mind was consumed by the idea that Nadia was here with Niall. She was the reason why Stella was stood up, why Niall had to cancel, why Niall forgot to cancel, why Stella had a broken heart on what was supposed to be the best night of her life. 

“Stella,” Niall said, shaking her, two hands on her shoulders. “Did you hear me?”

“Who is that?” Stella asked, voice barely a whisper. “Is-is it Nadia.”

“Stel,” he murmured, eyebrows furrowing. “It’s complicated.”

“Complicated how?” She demanded, hands balling into fists by her side. 

“I just is,” he urged, tugging at his hair. “Please, don’t overthink this. I’ll explain everything just-just- I can’t right now.”

“You can’t,” Stella laughed, dryly. “Because Nadia is here and she came all this way to see you and it’d be rude not to-“

“That’s not fair,” Niall sighed, lifting his head to look at her. 

“What’s not fair is that you made this seem easy,” Stella told him, eyes stinging. “I was an idiot to believe you.”

Stella walked away from him, eyes welling with tears. She felt foolish, diving almost headfirst only to have the rug pulled out from under her. 

Stella could only breath when she closed her door behind her, eyes slipping shut. Veda was at Zayn’s. She could feel this alone. 

Stella changed into her pajamas, crawling into bed. When her head hit the pillow, she let out a sigh, rubbing her eyes. She’d let herself feel sad for a while.

But Stella knew Niall wouldn’t leave it like this. She knew in her bones that he’d be at her door, begging her to open up. It took only two hours and he was there, knocking on the door until Stella opened the door. 

Stella hoped that she looked as miserable as she felt. She hoped that Niall felt guilty for it. “Stella,” he said, voice soft. “Can we talk?” 

“I don’t want to talk to you,” she told him, gripping the doorknob tight in her hand. 

“That’s okay,” he said. “You don’t have to talk to me. Can you at least listen to me?”

Stella let him him, finding her way back to bed before he’d even closed the door. Niall slid in beside her, back against the wall. 

“Nadia was having some regrets,” he told her, not wasting a second to explain. “I guess whoever she’d moved on with wasn’t as solid as she’d thought it was. Wanted to go back to something familiar. I didn’t entertain the thought,” he murmured. “Sometimes I feel like we were supposed to meet. You fill in the spots that Nadia never could- that no one ever could. I’d be an idiot not to realize that.”

Stella didn’t say anything, silent beside him. She was chewing on her nails, eyes glued to the wall opposite of them. 

“It was complicated because I didn’t want to just-just tell her to fuck off, you know? She came all the way from London to talk,” he explained. “I’m sorry if that hurt you, stel. You know the last thing I’d ever want to do is hurt you.” 

Stella felt herself forgiving him. She didn’t want to give in. She shook her head, eyes beginning to sting again. She couldn’t get over the thoughts of what it’d be like to not have him in the ways she wanted. That she almost lost him without even having him. It was the fear bubbling inside of her. 

“Stella,” he mumbled. “I know you said you didn’t want to talk to me but-but I really wish you would. Tell me how you feel. Are you angry?” 

“I’m not angry,” Stella whispered, digging her nails into her palm. “I’m scared.” 

“Why?” 

“There was this moment that I felt like I lost you,” Stella murmured, eyelashes fluttering. “It’s not easy sharing you with anyone. I can’t be just your friend. I wouldn’t have been able to if...” she trailed off, shaking her head. 

“You think it’s easy sharing you?” Niall emphasized, shoulders bumping against hers. “Fuckin’ kills me, you know that?” 

“How would I know if you’ve never said it?” Stella asked, voice entirely too soft.

“You’re right,” he nodded. “I’ll tell you more. First, I just need you to look at me.” Stella turned her head to look up at him. “Need to see those eyes.” 

Their eyes met and Stella knew for sure that she’d never let him go. Niall reached toward, pushing the hair from her eyes, “I’m so fuckin’ sorry that this night happened.” 

“Me too,” Stella agreed. 

“I’ll make it up to you,” Niall told her, an unspoken promise. 

Stella nodded, eyelashes fluttering at the feeling of his hand on her head, his fingers in her hair. Niall let out a sigh, shaking his head, “you know, you make it really hard not to kiss you.”

Stella chuckled, looking up at him. Niall’s hand drifted away from her face and she immediately felt the absence. “Don’t make plans for tomorrow,” he told her, sliding out of her bed. “We’re going on a date.”

//

Stella would admit, she was losing her mind. The most she’d gotten from Niall was a hand hold and some soft touches that only let Stella’s imagination run wild. Their dates had racked up to three- in official terms. Not counting the before times they’d spent together which were almost countless.  

But Stella was losing her mind, watching Niall glide through life seemingly unbothered by the fact that he’s yet to kiss her, yet to even try. Stella watched him from the other side of the futon, beer in his hand, unbothered. 

Stella wanted Niall to be bothered- she wanted him to be really bothered. Not miles of space between them, the unspoken words no where near being spoken. It just wasn’t working. 

“Hey,” Stella said, tone a bit sharper than she’d meant. 

“Hey,” Niall chuckled, eyes drifting from the tv to look at her. 

“Are you ever gonna kiss me?” Stella asked, sounding a bit more desperate than she hoped. 

“Um no,” Niall answered, eyebrows furrowed. “You kiss before marriage?” 

Stella laughed despite her best efforts. She collapsed against the futon, letting out a loud groan. Niall laughed, pulling her toward him, “Stel, I thought we agreed that you’d get some patience?” 

“I have been really patient,” Stella mumbled, one leg falling over his. “The most patient.” 

“The consequences of kissing will be irreparable, you know,” he said, voice soft as he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Once we go there, it’s no going back.”

Stella didn’t want to go back. “I don’t want to go back,” she whispered. 

“If we kiss,” he said, “you’re going to fall in love with me and odds are, I’ll fall in love with you. Is that a risk you’re willing to take?” 

Stella breathed out a laugh, looking up at him, “Niall it’s not that serious.”

“It is that serious,” he emphasized, laughing. “Don’t think that it isn’t. You just kiss every lad you meet, no thought into the matter?” 

“I mean,” Stella laughed, thinking about the boys she’s kissed in her life. “Yeah.” 

“Wow,” Niall shook his head. “That’s really- that’s- I’m speechless.” 

“So you don’t want to kiss me?” Stella asked, looking up at him. Maybe she licked her lips, eyes flicking from his lips back to his eyes. “Not even a little?” 

“I want to kiss you a lot,” he murmured, tilting her chin up. His thumb brushed over her bottom lip and Stella’s eyes slipped shut. “So much, that I think if I kissed you, I’d never be able to stop. I can’t go slow.” 

Stella didn’t want to go slow. She let out a noise that could only be described as a whine, opening her eyes to look at him. Niall hummed, shaking his head, “stel, you never even give me a fuckin’ chance.” 

A hand on her hip, the other tilting her chin up and Niall’s nose brushed against hers. Stella’s breath hitched in her throat. “But do you want to kiss me?” He asked, breath warm against her lips. 

“Yes,” Stella murmured, eyes fluttering shut. It was too much, looking at him. 

“Look at me,” he urged, and Stella opened her eyes back up. “Does it feel right to you?” 

“Yes,” Stella whispered. Everything felt right with him. 

The moment was shattered. The door opened and Louis came in. Niall dropped his hand, looking toward the door. Louis was on his phone, distracted. Stella slid her leg off of Niall’s reaching forward for her cup of wine. 

“Hey,” Louis finally said, dropping his phone on his bed. “Did I interrupt?” He asked, looking between them. 

“Uh no,” Niall chuckled. “What’s up?” 

“Z’s having a party,” Louis told them, dropping his bag on the floor. “You guys gonna come?”

“Maybe,” Stella answered. 

“I’m heading there now,” Louis told them, tugging his shirt over his head, grabbing a clean one from his closet. “Think Eleanor’s gonna be there.” 

“Nice,” Niall commented, looking over at Stella. Stella couldn’t meet his eyes, though. She knew she’d blush, giving it all away. 

“So,” Louis began. “Are you guys coming?” 

“Uh,” Stella mumbled, rubbing her forehead. “I don’t know, L. I’ve had a migraine all day.” 

“Niall?” 

“I have a ton of homework to do in the morning,” he explained. 

“Just say you’re gonna fuck,” Louis laughed, tugging his jacket on. “I’m not going to be offended.”

“We’re not going to fuck,” Stella argued. “I’m actually going to bed.” 

Louis laughed, watching Niall’s face contort into one of confusion. “Whatever you guys say,” Louis shook his head. “I’m not coming back tonight. Do with that information what you will.”

“Louis we’re not fucking,” Stella groaned, covering her face with her hands. “Tell him we’re not.”

“We’re not,” Niall told him, giving Louis a wink. 

Louis laughed, shaking his head, as he walked toward the door, “have fun, tonight, Stel.” 

Stella was mildly embarrassed, looking at Niall with an annoyed expression on her face, “we have to go to the party now.”

“Why?” Niall laughed, sitting up to set his bottle on the table. 

“Because now Louis thinks we’re having sex,” Stella groaned, pulling at her hair. 

“Relax,” Niall chuckled. “He knows we’re not having sex.”

“We’re going to the party,” Stella told him, standing up. She finished the last of her wine, setting her cup down on the table. “I’ll meet you outside. I have to get ready.”

“This is ridiculous!” Niall exclaimed but Stella was already out the door.

Stella met him outside not ten minutes later. She changed from her sweatpants into a pair of jeans and sneakers. Niall put a pair of jeans on too. It was hardly a happy occasion for Stella. Her grumpiness couldn’t be masked. 

“Kissing before marriage,” Stella muttered as they walked. 

“It was a joke,” Niall mumbled, shoving his hands into his pockets. 

“Hilarious,” Stella breathed. 

“You laughed,” Niall argued, amused. “Stella we better figure out this attitude of yours before we get to this party.”

“My attitude is because you won’t bloody kiss me,” Stella grunted, shaking her head. 

“Well Stella,” Niall laughed, “I was going to but Louis walked in and then someone decided that we had to go to this stupid party so someone wouldn’t think that we’re shagging.”

“You don’t get to point fingers,” Stella argued, wrapping her arms around herself to keep the cold away.

“I would’ve been just as happy staying home, kissing you on that stupid futon all night but instead we have to party,” Niall argued back. “So I think I’m going to point fingers regardless.” 

Stella shook her head, “I’m getting drunk tonight.”

“Think you’re already half way there, love,” Niall breathed out.

“We need some space,” Stella told him as Zayn’s flat came into view. 

“Space,” niall laughed, shaking his head. “You are absolutely insane, Stella.”

Stella laughed, taking the steps up to the flat in twos. Niall was right behind her, following her into the warmth. Just as the door closed behind them, Niall grabbed her wrist, pulling her in. Stella wanted to fight him but their bodies collide and Stella lost her breath.

“Lighten up,” he murmured, nose brushing against hers. “I can’t kiss you when you’re this grumpy.”

Stella made the move, leaning up on her toes to press her lips against his. Niall pulled her in by the hip with one hand, and cradled her face with the other. 

If Niall wasn’t holding onto her, Stella would have floated away. She all but moaned against his lips. Niall pushed her until her back hit the wall and his hand tangled into her hair, deepening the kiss until it was too much. Niall pulled away, breathing heavily as he licked his lips. 

“All you had to do was kiss me,” Stella murmured, nudging his nose. 

“Needy,” he murmured back, pressing another kiss to her lips, this one chaste. 

And how could Stella walk into the party having knowing what it felt like to kiss Niall, knowing that she wanted to spend the entire night kissing him more and more and more until they couldn’t breathe. 

Niall pulled away entirely, fingers skimming down the length of her jacket clad arm until he slid his hand into hers. “What was it you said about getting drunk?” 

Suddenly there was nothing she wanted more than to be completely sober. She gave him a smile, shaking her head, “I forgot.”

Niall hummed at that, nodding, “try not to look like you just got snogged.”

Stella let out a groan, rubbing her cheek, “your fault. And you look like you were snogged too.”

“I’m Irish,” he refuted. “I always look like I’ve been snogged when it’s cold out.”

That was unfair, Stella decided, running her fingers through her hair where he tangled it. She smoothed her hair down with her free hand, “that’s as good as it’ll get.”

They took the steps up to Zayn’s flat. Stella felt herself hold her breath as he opened the door, hand falling from hers. She felt like she was moving in slow motion. “I’ll take your jacket,” Niall said in her ear and she unzipped it, letting him pull it from her.

Stella went to the kitchen, pouring herself a drink. Maybe she’d like to be a little drunk after all. The wine in her belly settled enough to make her keenly aware of everything going on around her. 

“Stella Bella,” Veda sang, leaning on the counter. She had a smile on her face. 

“Hey,” Stella chuckled, leaning against the counter. 

“I haven’t seen you in hours, roomie. What’s been going on?” Veda asked. 

“What did Louis tell you?” Stella asked, an annoyed expression on her face. 

“That a certain someone was getting laid tonight. Is this not true?” Veda asked, eyebrows furrowing. 

“No it’s not true,” Stella laughed, rubbing her forehead. “Niall and I are like friends, okay?”

“Friends that are dating,” Veda argued, straightening up. “Jeez do you guys need a nudge? I’ll get a game of seven minutes in heaven started for you.”

Stella laughed, shaking her head, “Veda please no.”

“Aw come on,” Veda teased. “It’ll be fun.”

“What would be fun?” Niall asked, coming up behind Stella. He reached around her, grabbing a beer off the counter. 

“Seven minutes in heaven,” Veda told him before Stella could answer. 

“Seven minutes in heaven,” Niall echoed, shaking his head. “It does sound like fun. I vote Louis and Eleanor first.”

“Unfortunately you two have already been voted in,” Veda told them, straightening up. “Let me get my timer ready.”

“Veda,” Stella warned.

“I’m kidding,” she cried, defensively. “Obviously you can have as long as you need in there.”

“Veda,” Stella groaned. 

“Okay leaving,” she laughed, squeezing past them. “Sorry, Niall. Someone’s grumpy tonight.” 

Stella took a sip of her drink, turning toward him. “Louis told Veda we were having sex tonight.”

Niall all but choked on his beer, covering his mouth with his hand as he coughed, “fuckin’ hell, Stella.”

“That’s why we had to come,” Stella emphasized. “Get it together.”

“You get it together,” Niall laughed, shoulders brushing against hers. “All you’ve talked about tonight is sex.”

“Other people have been talking about sex,” she clarified. “I needed to clear the air.”

“If you insist,” Niall murmured, looking down at her. “But we’re gonna have sex tonight?”

“No we’re not,” Stella told him, amused as she looked up at him. 

“But we can play seven minutes in heaven?” He asked, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. 

“As many minutes in heaven as you’d like,” Stella murmured, holding his gaze. 

“Fuck me,” Niall breathed out, pulling away. “I’m removing myself from the situation out of respect for you,” he told her as he turned his back to her. 

“Niall,” Stella laughed, watching him walk away. 

“Not right now,” he called back, shaking his head. 

For the entirety of the evening, Stella wandered between the living room and the kitchen, feeling restless. She sipped her drink, talking to zayn, and then Veda, and then Louis, and then Veda again until Niall found her with her jacket. 

“Let’s go,” he said, handing it over. 

“Oh you’re ready?” Stella asked, pulling her jacket on nonetheless. She was feeling light on her feet after her drink. 

“Yes I’m ready,” Niall laughed, pulling his on. “You said an hour.”

“Alright alright,” Stella laughed, letting him guide her to the door. 

They took the steps down and out to the dark Manchester street. Stella felt cold to her bones, looking up at him. “This night was really unnecessary, you know,” Niall said as they continued to walk back toward campus. 

“It was,” Stella agreed.  

“We could’ve stayed in and snogged,” Niall added. 

“We could’ve,” Stella agreed, nodding. “But what’s the fun in that?”

“I’m sure there’s a little fun in that,” Niall chuckled. 

Stella decided that there was more than a little fun in snogging- especially with Niall. The way his lips brought her to her knees was dizzying. Every time he kissed her, she felt dizzy, eyes closed, feeling every inch of him. 

Fingers under her jumper, teasing at something that Stella would give him, no hesitation. Their lips moved together clumsily, Stella too anxious to relax, to give in and let him take over. 

Niall was patient, keeping the pace slow when she wanted it fast. Her eagerness got the best of her. Niall came up for air, breathing in her exhales. Stella found the strength to open her eyes up to look at him. 

“Stella,” he murmured, pushing his fingers through her hair. “Why does everyone call you Stella Bella.” 

“My mum calls me Stella Bella,” she told him, voice barely a whisper. “Louis and Veda have called me it forever.” 

“Bella means beautiful in Italian,” he whispered, nose nudging against hers. “It all makes sense.” 

Stella kissed him again, soft and sweet. Niall pulled her impossibly closer, one hand pressed against the small of her back. This was where she wanted to stay forever. 

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[moonlightreal]

Winx Club season 8/23

In which the foreshadowing doesn’t happen.

23 Between the Earth and the Sea

Alfea!  Ooh, more potions class!  Tec and Aisha have five minutes to prepare an elixir, but Aisha is distracted.  “Are you online, Aisha?”  Aisha decides careful measuring doesn’t matter and dumps in the whole test tube, and the potion explodes in Palladium’s face.  Our girls have flunked the test!

Tecna is pissed. Aisha says at her pace they wouldn’t have had anything to turn in. “everything has to be perfect” vs “trust your instincts.” the two are glaring lightning at each other when the star case appears to break up their feud.

The Winx go outside to hear the wishing star’s message, and we get a ground-level shot of the round gazebo with a moat around it.

“Corallia is an ancient star belonging to the oceanic constellation.” Tec reports, and I guess that’s where we’re going.  But we didn’t hear the box’s riddle!  there’s always a riddle!

Team evil is watching.  Valtor is on his throne with Icy and Stormy perched on the arms and Darcy at his feet.  Heh, he looks annoyed at having all the girls crowd him. They overheard Stella talk about wanting to go to a beach on Corallia, and the Trix gloat that they always take missions seriously.  Good point, actually.  Icy wants to get to Corallia first, but then Valtor stands up and says he thinks the Trix could use a vacation.

Well that’s unexpected.  

Valtor wants to go get the star himself, since the Trix blew it last time.  Well I guess it is getting close to the end of the season, if he’s gonna leave the house now is the time!  He chuckles and walks through a portal.  

Icy’s pissed. Stormy floats herself up and lounges on Valtor’s throne, Darcy floats back to sit on the armrest, and here’s an interesting conversation.  Icy’s angry at being cast aside, but it turns out Valtor can dump them back in limbo anytime he wants.  The two of them are in Valtor’s good graces for getting him prime stars.

Icy just snaps, “You two keep quiet!”  She sounds angry but that is one weak comeback.

Cut to… ocean! Surf music!  Winxboarding!  Occurs to me suddenly that the boards, with their hand-hold bar, must be meant for really little kids, like almost-toddler age.  Older than that and the boards would just be skateboards with nothing to hold on to.  Is that the target age for my show?  I feel embarrassed suddenly… oh wait, no I don’t.  I love whatever show I love.

Cute byplay with Stella saying they should do this more often and Bloom saying, “what, embark on a life threatening mission to save the magic universe?” Stella’s happy with life threatening missions as long as it’s on a beach.  I dunno, has your life been threatened much?  Last episode was a dance contest.

Beach!  Bitey hermit crab comedy!  Stella comedy!  

Then the girls arrive at what looks to me like a forest of fungus that grows off the sides of trees, but the girls think it looks like a coral forest. Only it’s not underwater.  The star box compass wobbles around and then the box disappears.  No help finding this star!

Aisha wants to search in the water ‘cause she wants to swim, but Tecna points out that the compass only moved here on the island.  Musa suggests splitting the party but flora says better not since the Trix are sure to be around.

Then… surfer lumens!  Grass skirts, lies, and lil surfboards.  They’re happy to have guests and Tecna says Corallian lumens are famous for their hospitality.

Stella fashion spells the girls into the cute jacket-skirt-hat looks we’ve seen before.  Not an island look, so we know there’s no island doll line.

I totally have a Malibu Barbie.  Speaking of island doll lines.

The girls visit the surf lumen village and meet another bitey hermit crab.  I like bitey hermit crabs.  The lumens introduce their leader, Duchess Coraline, and the girls are presented with drinks and hammocks.  Bloom tells Coraline about their mission, and Musa says the star is hidden in a place where there’s “symmetry between light and shadow.”  So there was a riddle, my video must’ve glitched.

Aisha says in the sea there’s balance between the light above and darkness below, but Tecna wants to check out the volcano.  They glare.  Now Bloom says they can split the party.  Stella ends up climbing the volcano and she’s not too happy.  Bloom thought she’d be distracted on the beach.  Heh.

They get to the top of the volcano and there’s something bright inside… Tec says it’s Corallia’s star core.  Then some lava golems pop up!  (muggle spellcheck doesn’t know “golems.”)

Cosmix time!  Tec says they golems are just guarding their territory so we can’t hurt them, just distract them.  Stella gets that job.  Fighting… more lava golems come up.

Deep in the crater surf lumens guard the core.  Valtor walks out of his portal right next to them.  And says “Boo!”  Sigh.  Surf lumens flee in terror.  Valtor catches them in a spell bubble and throws evil magic at the core, turning it dark purple.  Hmm.

What if: Valtor is still running out of starlight and came to recharge himself because he doesn’t want the Trix to find out.  they’d totally take advantage of his weakness if they knew.

Down on the beach Aisha tells some bitey hermit crabs what they’re looking for.  They go into the water and Aisha is “sure the prime star is at the bottom of the sea.”  so why not use Sirenix?  Hermit crabs bring back a boot, a vase, and an anchor.

Tecna lands to ask for help with the lava golems.

Then she sees a… shell?  I think it’s a big clamshell with purple patterns on it. It is symmetrical so tecna thinks it could be symmetry between shadow and light.  Aisha tries to pry it open.  Tec tries to magic it open. The shell is halfway between the sea and land.  When the girls realize this, the shell opens and the star is released!  Tecna gets it and it’s floating towards the star case when… a metal sphere clamps around the star, falls to the ground and starts to roll away. What the heck?  Tecna flies after it, but there’s Valtor!  He made star-grabber balls to catch the stars for him!  

Aisha grabs the ball with her morphix, because she’s great.

Oh no, the volcano’s erupting!  Valtor set it off.

Valtor does the choice thing again.  Save the star, or this island and the surf lumens.  Aisha hesitates, but Tecna says they need to save the island.  

Everybody transforms, but it’s too late!  Eruption!  Tecna takes charge, ordering Flora and Aisha to lumen village rescue while she and Musa go find Stella and Bloom, last seen at the crater.  Aisha and Flora do some good rescuing with their magic and the lumens get to safety.

The other four meet up and Stella tries to drop a shield over the volcano, but it’s too strong for them.  Tecna realizes they have to fix Corellia’s core, and that means going into the erupting volcano.

So they fly down. Tecna uses “virtual shell” to protect them from the smoke and “cosmix analysis” to see what Valtor did to the core.  She drops her shield with them in it over the core and the girls use cosmix power to fix the star core.  Yay!

The lava golems and lumens come to say thanks.

But we lost the prime star!  Aisha is upset.  Stella says they lost the battle but not the war and , ‘Valtor will never win!”  Well he’s already HALF won, Stel, you should be somewhat worried right now.

Tecna and Aisha have a moment on the beach about “where land and sea are in perfect balance” and they hug and it is very very shippy!

Valtor comes home with his star.  Only one more to go!  He gloats about how son he’ll have his wish granted, to be the most powerful sorcerer in the magic universe!

Icy, watching behind a pillar, snarls.

Next time: this is it, folks!  We’re going to a planet called Dyamond!  ...and the foreshadowing never happened.

[evilkakyoin]

ugh i need to reread stel ball run but im like =_= stupid and lazy

[devastelin-ravensorrow]

Sydryn

Dev had woken with a flutter of eyelids, slightly disoriented as there was almost no sound. It was the sound of Rassa's breathing quietly against his chest though that set things back in order. He lay there for a few moments, silently as he listened to the soothing sound of her chest rising and falling, fingertips tracing the curves of her hip and toying with the end of her hair. 

Eventually, he did his best to slip out of bed unnoticed, not wanting to wake her for what he had in mind. Finding a pair of pants, he tugged them on before leaving the bedroom and making his way down the stairs. Reveria was already in the kitchen, eating some of the food that Vel prepared every morning. Bacon by the handful was getting shoved down her gullet but when she saw Dev she flushed and tidied herself. "Oh. Uh. Good morning." She tried to hide her embarrassment with a cough, leaning back in her chair to cross her legs and arms.

Dev just smirked, the tone enough to indicate embarrassment but he couldn't really see the food so had no idea why. "Gooooood morning. Didn't mean to startle you. Just... Coming to see if you still had him." Rev snorted at that. "What kind of cunt do you think I am? Course I do." If he'd had eyes, they'd have been rolled just then. "Well can I have him back now?" Rev eyed him over as if judging and assessing. "You really like her don't you?" A nod was given in return. "I do. Though I think it might be more than just 'like.'" The druidess couldn't help but let her lips curl into a small smile. She was a sucker for this shit after all. "She's gonna love him. Come on then." She got up and motioned for him to follow. It was a few moments later that Dev snuck back into the room, cargo in hand. He sat, ever so quietly down on the bed before releasing his passenger. A short little corgi puppy that had white fur mottled with darker coloring sat looking up at him for a second, tongue hanging out of his mouth happily before Dev pointed at Rassa. The pup looked to her and excitedly ran over, gently licking her nose.

Rassa was dead asleep, in fact, she hadn't been so deeply asleep in years. Most Shal'Thera were light sleepers, strictly because they were trained as such--but when Dev got up and out of bed, she didn't stir. When he was out of the room, she turned over on her stomach and occupied the very center of the bed. Her black hair was in wild waves around her, and she breathed in and out steadily - wiggled down into the covers. It was the second time that he opened the door that Ras mumbled something about him coming back to bed. She was cuddled up with a pillow, her eyes still shut as weight was placed on the bed. It wasn't until there was a puppy in her face that her eyes went open and she laughed. Rassa sat straight up and picked up the pupper, "Stel! He's adorable! Is he yours?"

Dev grinned like an idiot at her reaction, the laugh was some sweet, sweet music to his ears. Scooting over on the bed, he wrapped an arm around Rassa, as his free hand went to pet the puppy. "Mmmmm. He's yours Sass. Or ours. I got him for you though." He rubbed the little guy's ear between two fingers. The puppo seemed super happy, licking all over Rassa's face as his tiny stubby tail wagged furiously. Giving her a squeeze he grinned some more. "Little guy doesn't have a name. I thought you might like that honor."

Rassa picked the puppy up and nuzzled her face into his face. "He's mine!" She sounded almost like a kid when she said it- squeezing the puppy gently. "I love him, Stel..he's ours, okay?" She leaned into him and kissed his cheek. "Is Reveria okay with him being here? I just don't want to upset her..." She put the little guy down, letting him pounce all over the bed. "Help me name him..something Darnassian? Or something more light than that?"

His ears flushed a bit at her kiss, he'd been worried she might not want a puppy. He returned the kiss to her forehead, leaning his head against hers as they watched the bounding ball of cute energy. "You know she's been the one watching him for me. I got him before we ever went to the farms even. I think she was gonna keep him if she didn't think I was a good guy or something." He smiled, giving Rassa another kiss on the forehead. "What about... Oso? Or... Sydryn? Hmmmmm... Could always go with something like Ziggy too... What kinda names you thinking of?"

"Ziggy.." She scrunched her nose and shook her head. "Not that, and..not Oso." She looked at the puppy. "I like Syd.." She bent down to kiss the puppy on the top of his head. "What about you puppy, do you like the name Syd?"

Rassa cooed in Darnassian at the puppy. "Want to be a ship puppy?" She scratched his ears, "Nooo, you can go everywhere with me. What a good boy." She smiled and took the puppy up in her arms, hugging him into her chest.

Dev watched the pup as Rassa picked him up and snuggled him. He couldn't really see all the details but the little guy's aura told him enough. The pup canted his head at being a ship doggo but when Rassa said she'd take him everywhere, he got all excited, tail wagging like mad as he licked her face over and over. Then came the names. Ziggy and Oso didn't seem to warrant a reaction but his little ears perked up at being called Syd. He looked at her intently, tongue hanging happily before letting out a bark. "I think he likes Syd too." Dev grinned, leaning against Rassa. "He's got a collar and leash downstairs if you wanna use them when we're in the city. Or we can just make sure he's well trained enough not to run off.” He shrugged. "You like Syd!" She said, laughing as he licked her face. With a big smile, she bumped her head with the puppy's.  "Oh! you have a lot to say, don't you!"

“And... " He reached into his pocket, pulling out a little bag of treats. The puppo immediately went still, eyes locked to the bag, ears standing straight up. The little guy watched intently as Dev handed the bag off to Rassa. "... These are apparently some really good treats. Probably help with training him."

She chuckled before she turned to look at Dev. "Maybe a leash for now but I don't like to keep animals on leashes though. So what if we just try to train him well?!" She laughed at the puppy, "He already knows! Oh, Stel- he's such a sweet boy." With a giggle, she looked at the pup. "Syd, can you sit for us? Sit, boy!"

Syd was staring intently at the treats as Rassa asked him to sit. He looked from the treats to her and then back to the treats before spinning in a slow circle, hunkering down on his haunches after. He whined as his nose wiggled wildly at the treats.  Dev grinned and let out a chuckle leaning over to press a kiss to the top of Rassa's head. "He is the sweetest boy! Look at that. I wonder if they trained him or something already?"

Rassa leaned over and dug her hand into the bag to get a treat. "Wait," she told the puppy, holding the treat. She offered it then with an open hand. "Good boy~" She presented it to him to take.

Syd looked like he was straining so hard to sit as the treat was held out before him. Soon as Rassa said 'good boy', he shot forward and snapped up the treat, sitting back down to munch away happily on it. Syd finished crunching up his treat, vacuuming up any spare crumbs before turning his gaze up to look expectantly at Rassa. A grin came over her lips when Dev kissed her head. "Reveria maybe has a way with animals?" She chuckled, reaching over to hug him tightly. "Thank you, Stel. This means so much to me." Dev was all smiles as she hugged him, happy that he'd been able to make her happy. His arms went around her just as hers were around him. She gazed at the puppy then, "We could take him out into town..or at least downstairs to see Rev."

Looking down at her, the glow of her eyes sang to him as she looked back at the puppy. "Well, we could take him for a walk. You think the harbor would be a good place? Or did you have somewhere specific in mind?"

Rassa grinned at the puppy, giving him some patting on his head between is over-sized ears. He gave a single bark then took off in a circle around the bed before he ran at Dev and sort of head-butted his leg. He snorted as the puppy charged him, giving Syd some wild rubs across his cute little face after. "You're a feisty little guy! That's good though. You can scare off all the bad guys for Sass." A giggle came out of Ras before she stood up- still naked from the night before. Carefully, she set the puppy on the ground, then made for the wardrobe to begin dressing. "I think the harbor would be fine. Maybe we could take him to see the kids that stay in that school sometime.."

He followed Rassa out of bed, wandering over to her before she managed to get any clothes on, hugging her from behind as he laid several kisses along her neck and shoulder.  "Mmmm... I'm so glad you like him, beautiful." Grinning, she wrapped her arms over his and leaned back into him. Her eyes shut and for a moment she soaked in his affections. There was a brief recall of the night before, how he'd kissed down her neck. This was different. Sweeter. She flushed.

He held her for another couple minutes, continuing his string of kisses before he released her and went about getting himself dressed too. When he left her there to get dressed, she lingered for a moment- looking up and down him. She hummed, before she pulled on her trousers, then went to pulling on her top.

"We could get something to cook for dinner while we're in the harbor too. You could teach me something new." He grinned to himself, working the buckles of his half shirt. "That would be nice- we can cook for the house, as a thank you for watching Syd." The puppy bounced between the two of them, plopping down on his butt and staring up at Dev.  

Dev pulled on his gloves and belt, then set about wrapping his feet before squatting down in front of Syd with a grin on his face. "Syd you wanna go outside? Wanna go for a walk?!" It's like the pup knew exactly what he was saying, running around in a circle, barking wildly before running to the door, nudging it with his little nose. He then turned to face Rassa, tail wagging wildly as he offered up a few barks.

She picked up her blindfold and stared at it for a while, as though debating. "I think we could make a big pot of good things, we'd eat it back home. Like a big bowl of broth and you put things in as it boils." A chuckle that he couldn't help but let out escaped Dev, a wide grin with dimples showing on his face. He wrapped his blindfold around his wrist before wandering over to Rassa and offering to do the same with hers, only on her wrist. "I think that sounds amazing. Pretty sure you're gonna have to help me out on the making sure things don't boil too long front. I'm fine with that though! It'll be like a family dinner, except, just everyone in the house." Planting a kiss atop her head he motioned at the door. "Ready to roll?"

(tagging @theshalthera and @revthepunchbear for mentions! The amazing @eilitheduskbringer wrote this with me! What a great writer to get to have as an RP partner!)

[jc]

20 Jahre Blogger: 20 Dinge, die ich gelernt habe

An einem Sams­tag saß ich allei­ne zuhau­se, natür­lich am Com­pu­ter, und klick­te mich von Link zu Link. Im heu­te nicht mehr in die­ser Form exis­ten­ten Inter­net­ma­ga­zin Dr. Web las ich vom neu­en Trend „Web­log“, der natür­lich aus den USA kam. Mich inter­es­sier­te zuvor­derst der tech­ni­sche Gedan­ke. Die eben­falls nicht mehr exis­ten­te Blog­ging­soft­ware Grey­mat­ter muss­te auf dem eige­nen Webs­pace instal­liert und mit Perl zum Lau­fen gebracht wer­den. Kras­se Anfor­de­run­gen für mich damals, aber ich hat­te Zeit und noch nie Angst vor Her­aus­for­de­run­gen. Um 15:14 Uhr mel­de­te ich dann Voll­zug: „So, lasst uns begin­nen.“1

Was ich da begann, war ein Vor­stoß in eine sehr klei­ne Gemein­de deut­scher Web­log­ger/innen. Man begrüß­te mich und in der Fol­ge begrüß­te ich eben­falls alle Neu-Weblogger/innen. Wir kom­men­tier­ten gegen­sei­tig flei­ßig. Es ent­stan­den Bekannt- und Freund­schaf­ten, Netz­wer­ke, Geschäfts­be­zie­hun­gen. Tho­mas Gigold fei­er­te vor ein paar Mona­ten bereits sein Zwan­zig­jäh­ri­ges und hat noch ein wenig mehr dazu erzählt, wie es damals war.2

Ich habe extrem viel gelernt und tue es noch immer. Den­noch hät­te ich nie gedacht, zwei Jahr­zehn­te durch­zu­hal­ten. Zumal Blog­gen schon lan­ge nicht mehr in Mode ist. Die coo­len Kids geben ihre Daten schon längst exklu­siv den Anbie­tern sozia­ler Netz­wer­ke. Als Inhalte-Ersteller kann ich nach­voll­zie­hen, war­um man das macht. Es ist ja so viel ein­fa­cher, als Geld aus­zu­ge­ben und sich mit Web­ser­vern rum­zu­schla­gen. Als Inter­net­bast­ler und natür­lich auch jemand, der schon vie­le Diens­te kom­men und gehen sah, ist es mir aller­dings ein Rät­sel, war­um man die eige­nen Daten nicht auf dem eige­nen Webs­pace haben will.

Wie auch immer. Im Alter wird man starr­sin­nig und unfle­xi­bel, des­halb gehe ich davon aus, dass ich noch vie­le Jah­re blog­gen wer­de. Mal mehr, mal weni­ger; mal per­sön­li­cher, mal sach­li­cher; aber immer mit viel Freu­de am Veröffentlichen.

20 Dinge, die ich durch und beim Bloggen gelernt habe

Nach den ers­ten zwan­zig Jah­ren kann ich ja mal zurück­bli­cken. Was hat das Blog­gen über all die Jah­re mit mir gemacht? Was habe ich erreicht, gelernt, erfahren?

Inter­net­freund­schaf­ten sind genau­so gut wie Real-life-Freundschaften. Schon allei­ne, weil die­se Tren­nung, die heu­ti­gen Kids ja gar nicht mehr ver­ste­hen, schon vor zwan­zig Jah­ren künst­lich waren.

Durch das Blog­gen habe ich mir ein ganz tol­les Netz­werk auf­ge­baut, das sich durch Social Media dann immer mehr erwei­ter­te. Der grö­ße­re Teil der Leu­te, die ich heu­te ken­ne, habe ich zuerst digi­tal erlebt.

Je mehr ich schrei­be, des­to mehr schrei­be ich. Das Schwie­rigs­te ist der Anfang.

Ich muss­te einen Rhyth­mus fin­den, um regel­mä­ßig zu blog­gen. Anfangs war das (mehr­fach) täg­lich, spä­ter weni­ger, aber – nicht zuletzt durch mein Tage­buch – ver­öf­fent­li­che ich min­des­tens ein­mal pro Woche was. So kom­me ich gar nicht erst raus.

Ich muss mich immer wie­der moti­vie­ren. In man­chen Pha­sen war das leicht durch vie­le Leser/innen. Manch­mal ist es ermun­tern­des Feed­back. Ab und zu auch eine Spen­de in Klein-Leas Spar­schwein. Am nach­hal­tigs­ten ist mei­ne Mit­glied­schaft bei den Iron­blog­gern.

Durch das Blog­gen konn­te ich Vie­les aus­pro­bie­ren und lern­te bald, dass ich was mit dem Inter­net machen will. Es brauch­te zwar noch ein paar Umwe­ge, aber hier bin ich nun, Inter­net, und lebe von und mit dir.

Durch das Blog­gen habe ich ein per­sön­li­ches Archiv, das mitt­ler­wei­le mein hal­bes Leben umfasst. So oft konn­te ich schon nach­schla­gen: Wann war das noch­mal? Was habe ich gemacht? Mit wem?

Man kann sogar mit lang­wei­li­gem Pri­vat­kram Geld ver­die­nen. Ich mei­ne damit gar nicht, dass ich hier wild Ban­ner oder Google-Anzeigen ein­bin­de, genau­so wenig bezahl­te Bei­trä­ge – auch wenn ich eine Zeit lang ein paar Krö­ten dadurch mach­te. Ich mei­ne damit Men­schen, die durch mein Geschrei­be zu ech­ten Kund/innen mei­nes Unter­neh­mens wurden.

Ich habe durch das Blog­gen enorm viel über HTML, CSS, PHP und sogar ein wenig Java­script gelernt. Das Wis­sen brauch­te man frü­her, um über­haupt anstän­dig (auf dem eige­nen Webs­pace) blog­gen zu kön­nen. Ich bin zwar nicht mehr am Ball geblie­ben, aber das Basis­wis­sen hilft mir noch heu­te fast jeden Tag.

Über­haupt habe ich so viel über das Inter­net gelernt. Ich weiß, wie Domains funk­tio­nie­ren, was der Unter­schied zwi­schen IPv4 und IPv6 ist und war­um das WWW nicht das kom­plet­te Inter­net ist.

Ich war wegen vie­lem, was ich beim Blog­gen lern­te, auch eine Zeit lang Dozent (und lern­te, dass das nichts ist, was ich haupt­be­ruf­lich machen wollte).

Ich habe auch eine beein­dru­cken­de Brei­te an Wis­sen in ver­schie­dens­ten The­men­ge­bie­ten neben­bei bekom­men. Ein­fach, weil ich so vie­le unter­schied­li­che Blogs lese bzw. gele­sen habe.

Blogger/innen sind Men­schen, die etwas zu sagen haben. Jede/r auf ihre/seine Wei­se und natür­lich nicht immer in dem Gebiet, das mich inter­es­siert. Aber nie­mand schreibt (nach­hal­tig) über nichts.

Ich lern­te Geduld. Nicht alles funk­tio­niert auf Anhieb und auch eine Leser/innenschaft muss man sich müh­sam aufbauen.

Ich lern­te Demut. Ande­re kön­nen bes­ser schrei­ben, besit­zen die inter­es­san­te­ren The­men, haben mehr Erfolg, die span­nen­de­ren Kon­tak­te, die auf­re­gen­de­ren TV-Auftritte und sehen auch noch bes­ser aus.

Ich fass­te Mut. Durch das Blog­gen muss­te ich ler­nen, Men­schen anzu­spre­chen – digi­tal und ana­log. Und über­haupt, jeder ein­zel­ne per­sön­li­che Bei­trag kos­tet Überwindung.

Mit dem Blog­gen kann ich auch ein biss­chen das Bild über mich steu­ern. Nicht, dass da so viel zu steu­ern wäre und noch weni­ger, dass da in zwan­zig Jah­ren bestimmt eini­ge pein­li­che Sachen zusam­men­ge­kom­men sind. Aber ich ver­su­che natür­lich immer, mich von mei­ner bes­ten Sei­te zu zei­gen und las­se die schlech­ten eher weg. 

Die Welt der Blogs ist unend­lich. Noch nie ist mir der Lese­stoff aus­ge­gan­gen. Im Gegen­teil muss ich immer mal wie­der in mei­nem Feed­rea­der alle Feeds auf „gele­sen“ stel­len, um über­haupt mal wie­der die Chan­ce zu haben, mit­zu­kom­men. Es tut jedes Mal kör­per­lich weh.

Ganz frisch habe ich gelernt, nie­mals Lis­ten mit einer bestimm­ten Anzahl an Punk­ten blog­gen zu wol­len, wenn man nicht genug dafür hat.

Und last but not least lern­te ich: Es ist egal, ob es das oder der Blog heißt. Aber rich­tig ist natür­lich das Blog.

📨 Nie wieder etwas verpassen?

Neue Bei­trä­ge per E-Mail erhalten

💝 Gern gelesen?

Spen­de was für Klein-Leas Sparschwein 🐽

Das voll­mun­di­ge „Wir“ bezog sich auf mich und mei­ne dama­li­ge Part­ne­rin, die aber nicht viel bei­getra­gen hat. Zeit­wei­se führ­te sie statt­des­sen ein eige­nes Blog. ↩

Tho­mas ist übri­gens einer der­je­ni­gen, die ich noch nie per­sön­lich getrof­fen habe. Und trotz­dem ver­fol­ge schon zwei Jahr­zehn­te, was er so macht. Klei­ne Tei­le des Weges gin­gen wir ja sogar zusam­men. ↩

(Original unter: https://1ppm.de/2021/05/20-jahre-blogger/)

[jessiemieli]

“I’m not saying you can’t shoot him. I’m just saying you can’t shoot him here.” FOR STEROLINE AKA MY HEART

Be warned, this is a very long, poorly written one…

Caroline was picking at her nails asshe leaned against Stella who was sitting on the hold of her car. The rest ofthe Serpents were lounging the parking lot of the Whyte Wyrm discussing theongoing conflict with the Northside, but Caroline was barely paying attentionto what they were saying. Her own personal problems with her friends on theNorthside had kept her from going back there recently except for school.Because of her family the Serpents had allowed her to spend her free time withthem and that happened to give her more opportunities to see her girlfriend.Despite all of the drama going on between the two sides of their town, it hadyet to impact their relationship in any drastic way. If anything, it hadbrought them closer together. Caroline was finally learning where she fit inand it turned out to be on the Southside, with her family and Stella Sharpe.

“What the hell are they doing here?”

At the sound of Sweet Pea’s voice,Caroline glanced up from her hand to see a small group of young men walkingtowards her group of friends. She sat up a little straighter when sherecognized him and his obviously tacky apparel. He was one of the main membersof Ghoulies and while they lived on the Southside, they had no business comingnear the Whyte Wyrm uninvited.

She wasn’t surprised when theSerpents got to their feet to approach the other gang members. Caroline stayedseated at the table, even after Stella slid out from behind her. The rivalrybetween the two groups was longstanding and she had no reason to insert herselfinto it. Her family had their own problems to worry about.

“What do you want, Isaiah?” SweetPea asked, folding his arms over his chest defensively.

“We’re not here to see you,” theolder teen said with a smirk. He lifted an arm and pointed directly atCaroline. She couldn’t help but roll her eyes. Stella glanced over her shoulderat her girlfriend and Caroline gave a faint shake of her head. “Your familykeeps refusing to set up a meeting with us and we need to talk business.”

The blonde scoffed before pushingherself to her feet, coming to stand beside Stella who instinctively shiftedher weight towards her girlfriend. Caroline tilted her head slightly as shepursed her lips. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Malachai wants in on your drugtrade,” Isaiah told her with his nose in the air. “You know we have the revenueto break even and then some.”

Caroline had to actively fight theurge to slap the stupid out of this kid. She stepped towards himslowly. “I don’t know what you’re talking about and even if I did I’m not a bigenough idiot to talk about it out here in the open. So, if my uncles decidethat you’re little association is worth the effort they’ll contact you. Now,get the hell out of my face.”

“What did you just call me?” Isaiahasked and stepped towards her with a scowl pulling at his features. He reachedbehind his back and drew a small knife from his pocket, flipping it open as hetook another stride in Caroline’s direction. Before she had time to react,Stella moved between them and gave the older teen a hard shove. Even though shewas a couple years younger than him it was enough to put him on his ass andmake him drop the weapon. Her fellow Serpents were behind her in a second,ready to back her up in case the other Ghoulies tried anything, but from thelook on their faces, none of them were feeling lucky enough.

Caroline smiled to herself, hesitatingto step in even after Stella pulled her small handgun from her waistband andpointed at the man. She wouldn’t give the Ghoulie a second thought if hergirlfriend shot him, but the parking lot of the Whyte Wyrm wasn’t the place fora show of force.

She stepped between Stella and SweetPea, placing a hand on the barrel of the gun slowly. Caroline pushed downlightly and Stella lowered the gun reluctantly as she raised an eyebrow at her.

“He’s not worth it, Stel,” Carolineexplained with a careless shrug.

“Come on, I’m not gonna kill him.Just give him a little flesh wound to remember this by,” Stella responded witha knowing smirk on her lips. Caroline smiled back at her, unable to admire hergirlfriend’s tenacity.

She leaned in slightly and loweredher voice. “I’m not saying you can’t shoot him. I’m just saying you can’t shoothim here.”

Caroline gave Stella a quick winkand returned her attention to the Ghoulie on the floor. She offered him a handand after a long moment of thought he took it, allowing her to help him to hisfeet. But she didn’t let go once he was standing. Instead she gave his arm ahard yank, causing him to stumble towards her. She put her mouth near his earand lowered her voice to a whisper.

“Now, if you ever threaten me againI will tell my uncles and they will come after you. And I can promise that noteven the cops will be able to identify your body when they’re done with you,got it?” Caroline asked, pausing only long enough to allow the man to nod. Shestood up a little straighter and forced a smile onto her lips. “Good. I suggestyou get out of here before I let my girlfriend shoot your balls clean off.”

That was all it took to send Isaiahand his minions running. Caroline waited until they were out of sight to faceStella again. She was already smiling.

“Good job, babe,” she said with anod.

“Thanks,” Caroline responded,smirking to herself.

“Did you add in a little deaththreat?”

Caroline gave a faint shake of herhand. “More like a threat of torture and dismemberment.

“Nice touch,” Stella noted.

“I thought so,” her girlfriendagreed.

“You guys are so weird,” Sweet Peamuttered before turning on his heels and joining the rest of the Serpents whohad retreated moments prior.

Caroline let out a short laugh when Stellamet her gaze again and she quickly joined in. She gave a shake of her head andclosed the distance between them, wrapping her arms around her girlfriend’swaist. She pulled her into a short kiss and smiled as she pulled away. “Oh, hehas no idea.”

She took Stella by the hand and ledher back to the table that they were sitting at before. There was a lot toworry about these days no matter which side of town Caroline was on, buteverything seemed easier when she was with her friends and family, Stella inparticular. Caroline would do anything to make sure that her relationship wasthe one thing to stay constant in her life. Aside from her family, Stella wasthe last thing she’d want to lose to the darkness consuming Riverdale.