#staying in school might kill me. and its not like im gonna get good grades. id be lucky to pass

[wackpedion]

im at that point in life where even my moms telling me it might be best for me to drop out Whats This Mean For Me

[kaleidoscopiccc]

yapping time!!

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

coffee mugs all the way

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

chocolate bars, I hate lollipops I love chocolate

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

bubblegum

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

loud. very very loud. lots of personality. (I was one of those kids who was convinced she was a grown adult)

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

can

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

grunge, i don't think i have a specific aesthetic i just kinda wear what i think looks cool, its just that most of the time what looks cool is black clothes

7. earbuds or headphones?

headphones, earbuds give me a headache

8. movies or tv shows?

tv shows, not the biggest film connoisseur

9. favorite smell in the summer?

I spend my more memorable summers in turkey so simit vendors next to the Mediterranean Sea, also more recently burnt popcorn

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

I was really good at solo badminton if that makes sense, not much else, not excited to have to take pe again

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

toast. I love toast

12. name of your favorite playlist?

oh all of my rtc characters playlists, rn it’s “oceans gonna take you down // ocean oconnell rosenberg - rtc” and “like a lamb to the slaughter // penny lamb - rtc/legoland”, also “don't you worry about your curly hair” im very emotionally attached to

13. lanyard or key ring?

lanyard, I lose stuff too easily

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

 I can get behind anything sour 

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

to kill a mockingbird :3

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

my pair of tennis shoes of the year

18. ideal weather?

RAIN GOD PLEASE I WANT RAIN

19. sleeping position?

ok the long side of my bed is up against a wall so there’s this perfect corner that I can fit my entire front body body into and it’s the comfiest thing ever

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

notes app but using the draw function or notebook, i like writing things

21. obsession from childhood?

I’ve retained a good amount of Greek mythology knowledge from 4-7th grade

22. role model?

it’s so cringe but basically all the cyclone actors that regularly interact w me i love all of them w all my heart

23. strange habits?

I meow a lot. but like. just the word meow. that might just be a stimming thing idk. idk a lot of things.

24. favorite crystal?

any one w pretty colors, I’m a little crow at heart

25. first song you remember hearing?

hello by adelle

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

stay home. its never just warm in az, always boiling

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

again, its never cold, just a little cool. so hanging out w friends :3

28. five songs to describe you?

Letter to my 13 year old self (i too have curly hair and a foreign name and wish to be a star), pink pony club, the prophecy, the grudge, youre gonna go far

29. best way to bond with you?

ASK ME QUESTIONS! MAKE ME TAKE STUPID ONLINE PERSONALITY QUIZZES! LET ME INFODUMP!

30. places that you find sacred?

the theater, I LOVE the theater

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

tank top, leather jacket, mini skirt, bandana, sick ass earrings

33. most used phrase in your phone?

btw

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

ay. gaz. duh duh duh!

35. average time you fall asleep?

12ish

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

vines compilations

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

dufflebag

38. lemonade or tea?

lemonade. lemonsssss……..

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

lemon cake

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

kid dressed up as jesus went around dapping up 5th graders

41. last person you texted?

@wa3v3y

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

jacket pocket

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

leather jacket

44. favorite scent for soap?

rose

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

fantasy

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

my moms childhood clothes I stole

47. favorite type of cheese?

I hate cheese, if I have to pick, mozzarella 

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

vişne :3

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

fuck it, we ball

51. current stresses?

school soon…………

52. favorite font?

fonts are a pain

53. what is the current state of your hands?

long black nails idk how else to explain it I like my hands

55. favorite fairy tale?

NASRETIN HOCA

56. favorite tradition?

I make chocolate pudding every new years, thats very fun i think, i also just like chocolate pudding

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

November 2022, June 2023, September 2023

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

I’m really flexible despite not having much visible muscle, I have a really good semi-short term memory, and I can recite the entire script of ride the cyclone word for word

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

I should’ve stayed home …

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

magical girl, I really wanna be a magical girl

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

“I would gladly take my 17 years over nothing”

62. seven characters you relate to?

every cyclone character (this counts as 3), amity blight, lisa frankenstein, beth march, christine canigula

64. favorite website from your childhood?

friv 2016, I was SUCH a flash game girl

65. any permanent scars?

acne scars, don’t pick at your skin kids

66. favorite flower(s)?

call me basic but I really do love roses, and forget me nots! I love forget me nots!!

67. good luck charms?

not a charm but I always re-paint my nails when I REALLY need something to go well

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

your skin doesn’t actually have sensors for “wet”, your brain uses surrounding context clues to figure out what actually feels wet

70. left or right handed?

right, I do use my left for basically everything else though

71. least favorite pattern?

fake paint

72. worst subject?

chemistry. it’s not even hard I just don’t listen in class

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

like a 7

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

like 4 or 5, i was very early to everything

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

in n out french fries

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

gas station coffee, coffee is coffee

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

don’t have a drivers license but my school id is Pretty Damn Bad

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

earth tones, I love me browns and blacks and greens

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

fireflies

82. pc or console?

PC PC PC I HATE CONSOLE PC AND ALWAYS PC

83. writing or drawing?

writing, my ability to draw is far too inconsistent

84. podcasts or talk radio?

podcasts

84. barbie or polly pocket?

Barbie, i have 2 sitting in my closet rn

85. fairy tales or mythology?

mythology

86. cookies or cupcakes?

Cookies! I make some banger chocolate chip cookies

87. your greatest fear?

everyone love leaving me, and death, isn't that everyones

88. your greatest wish?

come out wout anyone caring

89. who would you put before everyone else?

@wa3v3y hi tagged you twice. love you.

91. boxes or bags?

bags

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

lamp, dim enough for ambience, bright enough to comfortably see

93. nicknames?

hate them, hate them so bad

94. favorite season?

autumn! ultimate weirdgirl season!!!

95. favorite app on your phone?

tumblr, hi guys

96. desktop background?

trinity ride the cyclone!!!!

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

one… my moms….

98. favorite historical era?

tudor dynasty!

weird asks that say a lot

in

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

7. earbuds or headphones?

8. movies or tv shows?

9. favorite smell in the summer?

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

12. name of your favorite playlist?

13. lanyard or key ring?

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

18. ideal weather?

19. sleeping position?

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

21. obsession from childhood?

22. role model?

23. strange habits?

24. favorite crystal?

25. first song you remember hearing?

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

28. five songs to describe you?

29. best way to bond with you?

30. places that you find sacred?

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

32. top five favorite vines?

33. most used phrase in your phone?

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

35. average time you fall asleep?

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

38. lemonade or tea?

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

41. last person you texted?

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

44. favorite scent for soap?

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

47. favorite type of cheese?

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

51. current stresses?

52. favorite font?

53. what is the current state of your hands?

54. what did you learn from your first job?

55. favorite fairy tale?

56. favorite tradition?

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

62. seven characters you relate to?

63. five songs that would play in your club?

64. favorite website from your childhood?

65. any permanent scars?

66. favorite flower(s)?

67. good luck charms?

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

70. left or right handed?

71. least favorite pattern?

72. worst subject?

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

82. pc or console?

83. writing or drawing?

84. podcasts or talk radio?

84. barbie or polly pocket?

85. fairy tales or mythology?

86. cookies or cupcakes?

87. your greatest fear?

88. your greatest wish?

89. who would you put before everyone else?

90. luckiest mistake?

91. boxes or bags?

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

93. nicknames?

94. favorite season?

95. favorite app on your phone?

96. desktop background?

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

98. favorite historical era?

[am3ricanj3sus]

every tc i have had

okay this is like kinda chronological but also kinda not cause its when i noticed them not the grade they particularly teach.

edit: i lied this is chronological order.

mr. mh

okay starting with my first ever tc omg this is so crazy.

my 7th and 8th grade english teacher

he lowkey made me hate english ngl cause we wouldnt read like books books we read and analyzed a lot of articles lowkey pissed me off

one time he got mad at me cause he thought i had gum in my mouth but it was just wax for my braces that i started chewing on cause i didnt wanna spit it out cause it lowkey was minty

he just omg... okay my 8th grade ass should not have been thinking about him the way i was

like he wasnt tall by anymeans but he had like a husky build. like okay lumberjack. he wore so many fucking flannels omgggggg.

hes a millenial so like...harry potter nerd to the maxxxx. also like he has a freaking beard and ugh he made it work he was literally sooooooooooo.

i was shy back then so i didnt really talk to him but he was nice and like one time i fell asleep in his class on zoom and he like stayed in the call and when i woke up i was like SHITTTTTT. i think my mic was on when i did that but like whateverrrrr

hes the biggest nerd ever

okay next

mr.bell

okay second tc everrrr

my 7th grade math teacher OMG WHY WAS I SO YOUNG WTFFFF PRETTY LITTLE LIARS WHAT DID U DO TO MEeeeeeeeee.

okay so like i have always hated math but we did khan academy soooooo like made my life super easy i cheated ngl.

OMG HE ugly asf looking back why tf el sol let me like that. what evaaaaaaa

he was so skinny like bones and he was pale like okay jack skellington howd u get here tffff

OMG HE WAS SO TALL TO LIK 6'4 LIKE OKAY FUCKKKKKK

he was really nice to me bc i sucked at math sooo like yeah im goat

i wrote fan fiction about this guy im gonna kms

it was fire tho. no tf it wasnt

okay next i cant thinkn aboout him anymore

mr. dua

okay my freshman year english teacher....

i like never really said anything about him. idk maybe its just cause he was old and nice to me.

he always encouraged meeeee

i was his best student #sorrynotsorryteacherspetforever

he was like around maybe 6'1???? he was taller than me thats what matters!!!!

okay intermission was taken had to blow my nose

anyways he was just like... idk he was just giving father. like in a freaky way.

he wasnt ugly he actually was handsome even with that fuck ass lazy eye.

other than dat i didnt learn shit in that class

next!!!!

mr. fuck ass hoe

okay this mf i hate this mf i hated him when i took his class i hate him now.

I HATE CHEM!!!! AND HE DIDNT MAKE IT ANY FUCKING BETTER!!!!!!!!! MADE IT SO MUCH FUCKING WORSE IM GONNNAAAAAA.

he was like nerd tho. not hot but just smart that makes u attractive cause ur smart. he was tall too. and my fav baddie nationality which i wont say thats too much might as well tell u when he graduated (1998)

like he was so fucking smart that it made me angry and i wanted to hate fuck him.

AND HE IS A SHIT TEACHER? TFFFF like hes so smart that like you have to go up to him and ask him to dumb it down and he'll be like "i dont get what you dont get"

also like oh boy oh boy this school year with him im soo angerrrrrrrrr. but whatever u a bitch.

iid still fuck him tho dont get me wrong.

NEXT!!!!!

mr. not so professional

well. wow another english teacher shocker woowww.

he was a shit teacher i learned nothing he was just hot.

like the only good part about that class was to kill a mockingbird and like other than that like what were we doing.

i mean it was his first (and last) year at our school soooo...

but he was hella baddie. kinda short but well built and like had greatttt hairrr.

one time he showed up to class with like a hickey on his neck and its was kinda like... oh wow okay freak...get freaky with me

i dont really know where he is now? probably teaching somewhere else who knows idc.

WHOS NEXT!!!

mr. c

oi oi oi... the man that started this blog... my baby daddy...my pookie... my baseball player...

okay but like ive never even had his class tf.

honestly i dont even rember how this one started. like one day i just noticed him around campus and was like OOOOOO THATS ONE.

like i think its simply cause he a man. and older than me. and has a job. and like it hot.

hes really nice tho hes such a cutie. like he hasnt done anything wrong yet... lets keep it that way...

i can count on one hand how many times ive talked to him this is humiliating

one time he said he liked my sweater i mean it was like my halloween costume and like i mean yeahhh it was intentionally picked out with him in mind so... yeah.... MY PLAN WORKED!!!

hes just llike sooo. hes tall but not too tall. hes like built but not like shredded gym rat like soft and defined enough. his hair eh... idk what he does like i think he has curls but like he keeps them super jelled it makes me mad. he has facial hair like okay lets turn it from black to ginger alrighttt ahhhhh tongue sticking out emoji. that was freaky guys wait

over all hes just great. a great charismatic guy. a great charismatic older than me and like kinda awkward guy

honorable mentions:

mr rah rah

mr gym rat

okay thats all dont rat me out.

[unlikelyempathpruneauthor]

'Family support's just so wholesome, i can't! Your writing's great 💙 i have a request (tho it's more than fine if you're not taking them/ don't feel like doing this one): bau!reader losing a loved one, not telling anyone and throwing themselves into work but masking it up pretty well so no one notices how broken they are until after a though case reader falls asleep on the jet and has a nightmare, reid puts 2 & 2 together and comforts them.. idk just feeling a bit moody today, hope u r fine 😊

Hold you in my arms

A/N: hey! I'm glad you enjoyed family support! Im glad you also enjoy my writing thank you so much! im sorry I took forever to write this one up! Hopefully its what you wanted. I did kinda rush the case so we could have Spencer and reader content, so sorry if it is rushed and bad. hope you enjoy this one!

TW: family member going through cancer.

things to know: the italics in the beginning are going through the death of the brother, and near the end is the dream. regular font is what happened or is happening how ever you want to put it.

You were a really private person, for the most part, but with your team, they knew mostly everything about you. Which knowing them for years was okay with you. As long as they didn’t know any more details you were fine with that. Your family meant everything to you and you wanted them safe. You never wanted to be the reason they were tortured or even killed.

However some things that caused death weren't your fault completely. Your brother was getting near to death. He’s been fighting leukemia since he was 15 and recently it's been getting worse. You stayed with him the days you didn’t work or didn’t get called in. Lucky the last few days you had with him you only had paperwork to finish.

The team noticed how fast you would complete them and how detailed and well written they were so they thought nothing of it. Spencer though he noticed despair and worry, but he didn’t say anything since you two were only friends and if you had something to tell him you would reach out.

“Is she okay?” Prentiss asked as the team shrugged. “Yeah Spence is she alright seems like something is up?” Rossi said as Spencer shrugged not knowing what was wrong with his best friend and “secret” crush. “She hasn’t said anything or talked to me, she’ll probably talk when she’s ready” he said as that left the team with that and spending their own free time the way they do.

You would walk into the hospital with two thoughts in your mind. “He’s alright he’s okay, he’s fighting” or “it’s too late you work too much and now he’s gone” and when you would enter the room relief was hit and you saw him eating or watching tv.  

You two would talk and spend time with one another, but he would beg you to go back to work and not worry. “Matt, no I'm staying until they call alright? You said as he held your hand. “Please go back to work I’m fine, I know you’ll make it in time once my monitor goes crazy” he said as you glared at him. “Don’t say that, I’m staying.” You said as he gave you the look your mother gave you. “Ugh fine I’ll go, but you need to call me if anything happens.

Like that you would go back to work and finish even more paperwork. Like nothing was wrong. You were sad inside but you didn’t show. You were strong, well you had to be, your brother was told he was gonna live for 2 months and he just passed his 1 month, this scared you. You couldn’t lose him now. He was your other half considering how young he was. Why do good people die young and terribly?

When that day came, you were called by your mom. You were home so you quickly left your home not even worrying if you left something on, your main focus was your brother. Seeing him alive when you go there.

Once you got to the hospital you arrived and saw them resuscitate him. They gave you a look that said, he wasn’t gonna make it and you needed to say goodbye. Your parents were sitting in chairs while you held your brother in your arms like the first time you met him. He was just your little baby brother and you knew he was gonna do great things.

Memories of you and him passed through your brain like one of those movies. The good and the bad. As the monitor went flat he was gone, your baby brother was gone. Tears just flushed through your eyes not caring if some got onto him. All you could do was hug him and let him rest the way he wanted to. In your arms.

“It’s okay, it’s time for you to rest.” You said as you kissed his head and held on for a while longer.

That was the last time you saw him. You currently got back from the funeral, and you changed so the team didn’t notice anything. As you walked over to your desk you got a new picture frame out with a picture of you and your brother when you were 10 and he was about 3. You smiled at the way your brother smiled.

“Y/n” someone said. “Y/n? You alright?” Spencer said as you looked at him. “Yeah Spence sorry I was just thinking. What’s up?” You asked as he smiled. “Well we have a case, so let’s go?” He said as you smiled back and headed to the conference room.

The case introduced was about an unsub killing young 20 year old males. Most of them were either in college or working for their families. They were good people but they were just killed for no reason. Which made you think of Matt. What if….no stop it.

As you debriefed the case you were headed to New Orleans. As you got your go bag you were met by spencer who was waiting for you per usual, spencer noticed something stopped you. “y/n? You okay?” he asked as he startled you and you blinked many times not knowing he was there. “Yeah im okay, uh just thinking.” you said as he hummed. “Alright..oh is that a new picture?” he asked as he grabbed the new frame with your picture. “Actually it's an old one, i just thought i could have another picture you know.” you said as he nodded. “Yeah, i do, is this your brother?” he asked as you nodded. “Yeah i was 10 and he was about 3 years old in that photo, it was the first day of school for the both of us, he was going to preschool and i was going into the fourth grade” you said as he noticed your sincere smile. “Is he doing okay?” he asked as your heart stopped, but you knew you had to lie, you didn't want to bother him. “He's fine, going into his fourth year of college,” you said as he nodded, but he read through your lie, you thought your heart stopped internally, but your whole body shifted and he knew something happened. you then were interrupted by a hotch. “Guys we should get going, seems like they need us earlier than i thought.” he said as you nodded heading over to the jet.

As you read through the file you were still thinking about Matt, you knew he wanted you to work instead of grieving for him, and you were gonna do that until it was gonna finally break you. You just kept thinking about getting privacy to let the tears to come out.

As you landed, you had to talk to the family of the recent victim. As you got there you saw them break down, not only did you lose someone, they did too. As if your instincts were nagging at you, you walked in to talk to the family, understanding completely what they were going through.

After talking to the parents, they told you Jerry was sick. He had been going through some type of chemotherapy and he didn't go to his last one days before getting kidnapped. That was weird, maybe the unsub knew who they were. But you didn't really know how to back that up with so you called garcia.

“Hello my beautiful princess, how may i serve you today?” she asked as you smiled. “God pen, never change,” you said as she hummed. “Not in any world my love.” she said as you looked down at your file. “Hey can you see if any of our victims was going through some type of therapy, like chemo?” you asked as she typed away and you waited.

Maybe this was some type of coincidence, like god was giving you a chance to save someone, after losing someone.

“Woah, uhh, our first victim, David, had thyroid cancer, and our other two victim, had leukemia. How does this connect?” she asked as you sighed. “Our latest victim had some type of cancer and was going through, chemotherapy.” you said as she sighed. “God why would someone kill someone who is going through a hard time?” she said as you sighed as well. “I don't know love, that's what I'm gonna figure out.” you said as she hung up leaving you to tell the team. You walked over to where everyone was standing and they seemed to pay attention before you began to talk.

“So all of our victims went through some type of sickness that involved them to get chemotherapy, what if our unsub is going through that and by killing them they are taking their place by getting some chemotherapy.” you said as they all shuffled looking through.

“That could explain why they didn't have certain belongings with them. And could explain why some didn't have their id.” Morgan said as you nodded. “Alright well call garcia to widen her search, good job y/n” hotch said as you nodded. “And this person might be working near any of the hospitals, our victims went to.” you said as they all nodded and you were getting ready to deliver the profile.

While this happened you got a call from your mother. You quickly picked it up leaving the room. “I'm sorry I have to take this.” you said as hotch nodded and you went into a hallway.

“Hey mom? Everything okay?” you asked as she hummed  “i am, its just i really hate to bother you, but i can afford the funeral i only paid half of it... And i don't wanna ask you for money-” she said, stumbling over her words as you cut her off. “Mom hey, dont worry about that, let me give you my credit card information all right? Tell them to send me the bill to my apartment. You don't have to worry about it alright?” you said as she sighed and sobbed. “Okay, im sorry...its just i saved up money for college but it wasn't enough and i know you do-” she said as you cut her off again. “Mom don't worry about it. I had some money saved up for him too in case he needed something. It's fine mom.” you said as you kept reassuring her. You then met the team again as they had a lead.

“Hey sorry it was my mom.” you said as they found a guy who lost his family because his wife had left him for his best friend, he was then told he had lung cancer and didn't have insurance or enough money to pay for his treatment. He was recently seen at the same hospital all the victims were at, and that meant he was getting ready for his next victim. He also worked as a janitor at the hospitals, which explained how he got the information from them.

You and Reid were sent to his house as the rest of the team was sent to the hospital. As you got there you noticed the lights were on. “You check the front while i check the back.” he said as you nodded. You had a police officer behind you as you cleared the house. Everything seemed clear, but the odd things was why were the lights on. He probably left in a rush.

You both checked everything as found and he had schedules of the patients. He also worked in many hospitals which explained how he met the other two victims. Reid called hotch and gave him the address to the hospital next on the list. It was most likely he was just living here because you didn't find any bodies in the house, but you still searched outside his house.

You were walking around the back as you noticed humps in the ground...oh no. “reid! I think i've got bodies” you said as reid came along with a dog and they were sniffing and barking. “Yeah he definitely killed them here. Morgan and prentiss just found a shack a couple miles away from here and all their clothes and stuff are. Where is he though?” he said as you nodded.

You ended up finding him in the hospital reid found next on the list. They ended up getting the guy and taking him to the station. He was in the interrogation room and hotch let you take him. Reid was with you and you just stared at the unsub.

“You ready?” he asked as you nodded. He walked over to the door entering the room as the unsub looked at both of you as you sat down. “So uh mark? Right?” reid said as the unsub nodded. “Yeah, can you tell me why I'm here?” he said as you looked at Reid and he let you take the lead. “Well mark, your property is filled with missing people who were filled missing, you know, because their family cares about them. Why did you kill them?” you asked as he scoffed. “Please my family cares about me.” he said as you glared at him.

“Really mark, they do? Then why aren't they here? We know your wife left you for your best friend and he matched all the victims appearances. You killed innocent boys who were just starting their life. You're just mad that their lives were settled and not yours.” you said as the unsub felt uncomfortable that you knew all that.

“Mark, we know you killed them because you were eventually gonna kill your own friend.” reid said as he just shook his head as if he was going crazy.

You two were just throwing the truth at him as he exploded.

“I had to do it! They were gonna ruin someone else’s life too! I couldn't let them go through that.” he said as you too got your confession, not that you needed it.

“Look mark, we didn't need this but we got what we need and i hope you get what you deserve.” you said as he yelled, “you don't even know what they felt. Why do you care so much!” he said as you stopped in your tracks and turned around. “You know what i do, i know what it's like to lose someone, they were already suffering so much, and you ruined it more for them. They had more time, but you didn't care. If you really care, family is important, and losing one is even worse, especially from sickness. Knowing that i couldn't do anything hurts. You're the one who doesn't know. You only know what it felt like to kill them knowing you were gonna live and they were gonna die.” you said leaving as reid and everyone behind that mirror just heard what you said.

As you got back on the jet, you were so tired you fell asleep right away. You were just so tired you didn't know what to do.

You were running through the unsubs home and noticed a body that looked familiar. It was matt. You quickly ran over to him and saw his face. He was already dead. You then were tied up seeing the unsub shoot him over and over. “NO! Matt, no! You had more time! Why!” you said.

“You had more time….why did you kill him…” you mumbled as you were moving around a lot and crying. Reid noticed and he quickly put his book down as he shook you up. “y/n...hey it's just a dream...y/n'' he said as you woke up with tears falling out of your eyes. “Im sorry, sorry.” you said as you wiped your own tears away. You sat there in complete silence. You were comfortable so it wasn't awkward.

You then saw the way Reid looked at you, which was the look that told you he knew what was wrong. You sighed in defeat as you asked him. “How do you know?” you asked as he half smiled. “Well today when you mentioned Matt, your mood changed, and I knew something was wrong, and you also wanted to comfort the victims family. You seemed like you knew what they were going through. And when you told us about the victims being sick, you seemed really sad for them more than a regular person would be and when you talked about losing family, I knew something was up.” he said as you nodded. “So you profiled me huh?” you said as he nodded and gave you a sincere smile

He was waiting, but he spoke first. “y/n i'm here for you, just know that, even if you feel alone i'm here for you always.” he said as you nodded.

He was about to get up as you spoke. “Matt died...two days ago...and the funeral was today, and i'm not okay.” you said as your tears fell out. Spencer held you as he wiped your tears away. “I'm so sorry, y/n.” he said as you shook your head. “spence its fine.” you said as he nodded, but he knew it wasn't fine. “Its just...when he died, i held him in my hands. I was there when it happened.” you said as he felt very sorry that you had to go through that.

“Im so sorry. Here come here.” he said as he opened his arms so he could hold you. You were thankful for Spencer, he was always there for you and you were glad he was there for you for this. It made being able to grieve much easier.

[between-two-fandoms]

Who We Used To Be (Ray/Rose/Trevor)

As told by myself and @thesevenumbrellas tag teaming the whump in the 18+ JatP discord. Sev I swear we operate on the same braincell levels, we do be clowning. @bobbywilsonsupremacy  let us know what you think of this! I know you and I both hardcore ship Raybse.

Cover was created by @thesevenumbrellas​. Please don’t steal it.

This post got long so fair warning.

We wrote this in a discord server over the time span of hours so there’s some mistakes but i’m too lazy to go back and fix it all. Basically we tag teamed on a Raybse Trevor Wilson-centric whump story and can destroy a fandom with a single touch.

You’ll understand once you click the cut.

Don’t Steal Our Writing (but please reblog this to spread it around).

Trauma Time.

major whump warning

(Ren) Okay so if we're gonna be starting at 90's ot3 my children ray/bobby/Rose know that Ray is a panic bi and loves both of these humans very much with his whole ass heart.

(Ren) He takes pictures of his girlfriend and boyfriend while they’re on dates because he wants to capture the moments he was happy the most. Bobby always shed away from the camera burying his face in Rose's shoulder or leaning in for a kiss. Anyways as time goes by Ray notices Bobby's change in behavior. From being his go-happy-trauma boyf to being caught up in the music scene, often out at all hours to parties and label meetings only to come to to sleep on the couch, not even sharing the bed like he used to. It reminds Ray of the time when Bobby was grieving his boys. Ray hates it, but he loves bobby so he pushes his feelings aside to try and arrange more dates for the three of them to go on together.

(Sev) Ray waking up to only Rose in the bed and not Bobby, and it feels too cold in bed without him. So he'll try to call him, because it's 3am and he's supposed to be home and he's not. And Ray remembers what happened to Bobby's bandmates, and he can't admit it out loud but he's worried. Because what if that happens to Bobby? He knows it was a freak accident! What are the odds of it happening again?? But he can't shake that feeling when Bobby doesn't come home at night and Ray stays up all night worrying. Anyway he tries to call Bobby and Bobby doesn't answer. He'll leave loads of voicemails, trying not to be pushy because he knows Bobby doesn't respond well to that. But he's worried. He'll say "hey please call me when you get this." and then ten minutes later try again "hey just text me that you're safe okay?" He can't sleep because Bobby still isn't home. It's 5am. He has to go to work in two hours. Rose keeps telling him to go to bed but he can't.[2:58 PM]Bobby finally texts back. "I'm okay! Was playing with some friends, the gig went over time and then we went to  party." Ray wants to be angry because seriously? No phone calls because he was at a party? But he knows that'll just push Bobby away more!

(Ren) And so Ray has all of these festering emotions that boil down to worry and concern at the core but he's just so scared hes losing Bobby cause he never really had his own family to begin with and then one day when Ray comes home early from a photoshoot he can hear Bobby and Rose fighting over Bobby signing the contract that says he wrote Luke's songs but Ray just hears yelling before he even opens the door with his name thrown into the mix and then he gets even more scared because what if he loses Rose and Bobby? if he lost both of them he'd be destroyed. So he doesnt knock. He doesnt go home. Instead he walks around the city until he was supposed to go home originally and he opens the door and there's a sort of eerie silence in the air.

(Sev) Trevor’s unable to shake the feeling that something terrible will happen to Rose and Ray because he's with them. His entire family were killed in 1 night because he wasn't there with them. So at first he's clingy as fuck to Rose and Ray because what if something bad happens when he's not there? What if what if what if... But as time goes on the thinking flips. Maybe it's the music industry that's the problem. It's these weird connections in his head of if he's too successful, bad things might happen. But he can't quit music like that, he can't give up on Luke's dream. He owes his boys to become successful. So instead he distances himself from Rose and Ray. That way they won't be caught up in whatever bad thing is going to happen to him. He distances himself and he waits for it all to drop. He waits for the universe to punish him again.

(Ren) And the universe punishes Bobby when the tension between him and Rose tightens so much he knows there's no going back from it but he's not admitting to stealing the songs because he didn't. He helped Luke write all of the songs more than Alex and Reggie ever did, staying up late with Luke after fights with his mom and Bobby didn’t want Luke to be alone so yeah, he wrote the songs. Maybe not as much as he claimed but he sure as hell made sure his brother wasn’t alone so that counted for something right? And it did. Until Rose kicks him out of bed because she's pissed he'd even consider stealing music and he cant tell Ray because of the NDA the label got him to sign at a party when he was drunk and the only reason Rose knows about it is because she was there when he signed the damn thing and so Bobby pulls away from Ray because isnt it going to be easier in the long run? If he doesn’t attach himself to Ray who'll just get angry at him like Rose did?

(Sev) It's the guilt that grows inside of him every passing day. They're my songs too he tells himself over and over again. But during the dark nights, three glasses of whisky in when the world is getting hazy... even he can't believe the lies he tells himself. He fucked up Sunset Curve. He fucked up his friends' memories. And now he fucked up the only good thing he'd ever had. Ray texts him nonstop. He doesn't understand why Rose kicked Bobby out and he doesn't understand why Bobby listened. Bobby can't take Ray away from Rose. He's fucked up and a terrible person, but even he can't do that. He doesn't give Ray his new address. He refuses to meet up even for Ray to give him his stuff back. All Bobby can do is hold onto Ray's sweatshirt he stole away and a bottle of perfume the same brand Rose always wears. He cradles these things in his arms and cries.

(Ren) And that's the last he sees of Ray for all of 5 years, 20yr old puppy-dog eyed loving precious ray who Bobby would run to the second Rose says its okay. But rose never does. And then Bobby meets a cute blonde and six months later the barista shows up on his doorstep shoving Carrie into his arms calling her a bastard child. Carrie is not a bastard child Carrie is his and he loves her the second he sets eyes on her and so Bobby turns into Trevor when the new year rolls around and he starts his own album. It doesn’t do as well as Luke's his first album did but it was his. And then one day Trevor signs Carrie up for dance because Trisha from first grade made fun of her for not being able to do the splits and on the way out of the dance studio Trevor bumps into Ray, a terrified looking girl clutched to his leg. Carrie doesn't miss a beat. "Hi! I'm Carrie let's be friends!" and Carrie drags Ray's daughter off and Trevor shifts awkwardly and is suddenly 17 again but Ray's eyes still twinkle like the did when they were kids and he's still wearing eyeliner so Trevor almost missed it when a flicker of recognition crosses Ray’s face and a smile quirks at the corners of his lips and he says, "hi im Ray, thats my daughter Julie. Wanna go out for a drink?" With that same mischievous glint in his eye that made Bobby fall in love with him in the first place.

(Sev) Trevor almost stops breathing. He should say no. He knows he should say no. He's an awful person. He doesn't deserve someone like Ray. He never deserved either of them. He knows that. But can't force himself to say no. Maybe it's the twinkle in Ray's eyes. Maybe it's the soul crushing loneliness he's felt ever since he left them. Or maybe it's the way Carrie and Julie are giggling in the corner like they've known each other all their lives. He says yes. The drink ends up at a family friendly restaurant with both the girls in tow.

(Ren) Rose shows up because Ray the asshole apparently texted her while he was in the car saying he met one of Julie's friend's parents and wanted to go out on a date (keeping things pg ofc) aklsdf. And when Rose does show up Trevor sees how... sick she looks. How much paler she looked than she did all those years ago how - he still knew he loved her even if she still decided she hated him.

(Sev) The mood drops quickly. Trevor wants to ask about Rose, but not in front of the kids. Ray wants to ask about their past, but not in front of the kids. Rose... Rose who holds all the answers... doesn't know where to start first. She had never regretted not telling Ray the truth. She never wanted to change Ray's perception of Bobby like that. Ray who looked at their boyfriend as if he'd hung the moon. Ray who stayed up worrying all night until Bobby came home. Ray who held Bobby through countless nightmares... But that makes the truth staring them in the face so much harder. Because she never gave Ray the choice. She realized that a few years too late after she catches Ray staring at old pictures of Bobby in their photo albums. She'd made the choice for him. And then there's Trevor... still beautiful, staring at her with so much concern her heart breaks all over again.

(Ren) The tension doesn't fly over Carrie's head like he hoped it would, she talks to Julie about My Little Pony and Pokemon and High School Musical and their mutual hatred for Trisha from school but Carrie's hand never lets go of his and he finally plucks up the courage and stretches his arm out and says "we're vegetarian for the most part, hope that's okay." And a smile quirks at the corner of her lips and she asks "for the most part?" and Trevor nods and Carrie pipes up from her seat saying "daddy hates hot dogs,” in that blatant fact kind of way kids say things without realizing how problematic it could be. It wasn’t her fault though, Trevor has yet to tell her about her uncles, about how he was in a band, about how they were going to be legends.

(Sev) Rose and Ray both freeze at Carrie's voice. He doesn't know if the girls notice, because he's too busy trying to fight back the panic in his throat. It's been a long time since anyone had brought up ... what happened. It's easy to pretend it didn't happen when his name is Trevor and no one knows him. But these two people know him. They know him more than anyone else ever has. Even the boys. The truth hits him hard at that moment. A truth he'd been avoiding for almost two decades. Ray and Rose know him better than even he knew himself. Maybe that was why Rose had been so furious with him, or why Ray continued to chase after him even months after he moved out. Trevor hides the building panic and sudden realization with a smile. "What an I say," he said as causally as he can. "I'm a picky eater." A few hours later they end up back at the Molina's house. Bobby has no idea how it happened. -No, Trevor has no idea how it happened, he scolds himself. He's Trevor. He has to be Trevor. Trevor got him this far, Trevor made the difficult choices. Bobby was the one who got his friends kill and destroyed the best relationship he ever had. Still, it becomes harder and harder to remind himself of that. To stop himself from slipping into the comfortable shoes of Bobby, boyfriend of Ray and Rose as if the past 17 years had never happened. He finds himself on their sofa, a sofa that brings back memories both good and bad... he finds himself in a familiar home, his old studio just a short walk away, his ex's giggling in the kitchen as they make his coffee the way he's always liked it without asking for a reminder.

(Ren) Trevor can remember the day he stopped drinking the coffee Ray made for him, the morning after his first fight with Rose, when he wakes up cold because Rose basically cocooned herself around Ray's body, keeping her back turned to him and as much as he wanted to reach out to Ray, to hug him and comfort him and tell him it was all going to be okay... everything was too stuffy and too tense and deciding he just had to leave because he was going to suffocate otherwise.

(Sev) He should leave, just like last time. What was he even doing here? He should take Carrie and- Then Ray's in front of him, pushing a hot cup into is hands. "The girls are playing upstairs," he says. His voice is so calm, so understanding. "We don't have to talk if you don't want to." Trevor almost laughs. Because that's so like Ray. Almost a decade without answers and he's giving Trevor the option to ignore it all. To pretend like nothing ever happened. But he can't be that selfish again. So he shakes his head. "I'd... like to talk to you... to both of you."

(Ren) And then suddenly rose is eyeing him sus but he's been putting this off for to long and honestly fuck his label because they screwed him over one too many times for him to still even consider their relationship anything other than employee-client1[4:06 PM]and so Trevor takes a sip of Ray's coffee holy shit how did go so long without it?! and he explains it. he explains everything.

(Sev) Ray doesn't speak as Trevor explains. He never interrupts or even look surprised. His face is completely unreadable. He doesn't move until Trevor's done. And then once he is, he only stands up to start pacing the room. Trevor's oddly reminded of Alex as he does so,  and the memory is enough to make him flinch. "This... this is what you two have been hiding from me for so long?" he asked, voice brittle. "This is... this is what cost us... I mean..." But he can't finish. Ray just shakes his head, back to both Rose and Trevor.

(Ren) Suddenly he's seventeen again. Seventeen and a mess in Ray's arms burying his face into the man's chest finally feeling the weight of the world lift off of his shoulders and suddenly Rose is hugging him from behind, her too-skiny bone arms snaking around his chest and hugging him tightly threatening to never let him go saying "amour," and pressing a kiss to the back of his head, "amour we never stopped loving you."

(Sev)It's like no time has passed by the time he's done crying his eyes out. They're all huddled on a sofa that was always too small for three. Trevor's in the middle, clutching at them both as if they're going to disappear on him. Ray sits with his legs underneath them, his arms pulling the both of them into his chest. And then there's Rose, suddenly so much more delicate than Trevor remembers. She sits half on his lap, curled into them, her fingers knotted in his hair. "I can't believe you two kept this from me," Ray whispers. There's no anger. He doesn't think Ray's ever been capable of being angry. "I'm sorry," Trevor whispers, throat raw from tears. Ray answers with a firm kiss to his temple. "We wasted so much time..."

(Ren) Trevor just lays between them in their bed, nothing sexual and nothing tense it’s just them being together and Rose playing with his now-long hair, braiding it right down the middle despite it being too long for others to braid. Her fingers feel nice as they tug at his roots, familiar and a sense of calm washes over him. He lets ray fop on top of him like they used to, burying his head in his chest just listening to his heart beat, his steady constant breathing because Ray used to be afraid one day he'd wake up and Bobby would be dead too. Rose humming lightly, soft lullabies that chased away dark thoughts and Trevor just finds it so comforting, a feeling of home he hasn't had since the day he left and so he wraps his arms around Rose and Ray tight, promising himself he won't screw up his second time around.

(Sev) It's a few hours later when he speaks again. The girls are asleep in Julie's room (delighted at their surprise sleepover.) Ray's almost nodded off, head resting against Trevor's chest. But Rose is wide awake. She's laid out, tangled between them, eyes focused on something far away. He can see it more clearly now. The tremble in her hands, the way she's so still, the circles around her eyes. He takes her hand in his. "What is it?"

(Ren) And Trevor wants it to be a prank, he wants the sinking feeling in his gut twisting around his heart, the same feeling he had the morning of Sunset Curve's Orpheum performance coiling up his spine to go away. He wants everything to be okay, that he told the truth, that he was forgiven, that the universe was finally on his side for once but of course it's not because when has it ever been.  Rose's fingers run lightly over his knuckles and Ray wraps his arm around him from behind, his hands resting against Trevor's chest, something solid for him to focus on and as a tear starts to roll down Rose's cheek he reaches up to brush it away, running his hand through her hair only to pull out a clump as he pulled away but he couldn't run when his instincts to run kick in like they always used to do when situations turned emotional, bury it in his mind and lock up his worries like he always did but this wasn't going to be something he could run from.

(Sev) Life is not the fantasy or a fairy tale. There are no happy endings, only happy moments. He'd like to say they picked up right where they left off, Rose lived until a ripe old age, and they never fought again. But he'd be lying. It was hard to fold their lives back into place again, especially with Carrie and Julie. To just pick up after their seventeen year old selves was an impossible dream. But they could do breakfast. And breakfast became dinner. Dinner became one date which became two which became many. It took trouble and care, but they slotted themselves back into each other's lives again. There were lunch dates, and movie nights. There were late night wine dates and early morning coffee dates. They found their happy moments. A decade of separation had smoothed out the rough edges. If Trevor stormed out after a harsh argument, he'd return the next day with flowers and apologies. If Rose snapped and lost her temper, she'd take herself off for a walk to cool down. If Ray was bothered by something, he'd speak up instead of pushing it all down. They found their happy moments. And when 1 month became 1 year, they celebrated with moving boxes and a new, bigger couch. When 1 year became 2, they celebrated with promise rings and whispers of a better future between light kisses. 3 years became 4, became 5, and so on... They found their happy moments. But life is not a fantasy or a fairy tale. Their story ends in a hospital. Rose dies with both her husbands at her side, with both her daughters and son clutching on her hands. She dies with a smile on her face, knowing she is not leaving them to suffer alone. Ray and Trevor grieve together.

(Ren) And this time the girls are the ones who get into the fight but Trevor and Ray are there for Julie and Carrie no matter what they're fighting over carrie told julie she liked flynn but julie said flynn was hers first and doesnt understand how she can feel squishy love for two people. And this time the girls are the ones who get into the fight but Trevor and Ray are there for Julie and Carrie no matter what they're fighting over carrie told julie she liked flynn but julie said flynn was hers first and doesnt understand how she can feel squishy love for two people. They stick to their daughters through the worst of it but they don’t let the girl’s fighting rip into them too. It’s not what Rose would’ve wanted for them, it’s not what she would’ve wanted for Julie or Carrie either.

(Sev) And when Julie plays with her ghost band, it's much earlier that Trevor recognizes who she's playing with.

(Ren) Luke’s mad at first, ofc he is but after everything is explained and out in the open Trevor finds himself at home in a building that never felt like home despite the fact he grew up in it.

[tsukidotcom]

Haikyuu HC to COVID-19 (Karasuno edition)

This is horrible 💀 im just so bored so I made whatever this mess is KFJSJDMSK enjoy

Hinata Shouyou

huh? isn’t it just the flu?

“No, hinata. People have died from it-“

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH-

goes bananas

whenever someone sneezes or coughs, his soul leaves his body as he runs away to sanitize/wash his hands for a miserably long time.

eats an expired can of peaches thinking it’s his last resort

lowkey happy school is closed because homework sucks

but also highkey hates it because now all volleyball tournaments are closed

then gets all angry when he realizes he’d have to do online school???!!?? like wtf he got jipped.

thinks they could still do volleyball if they did online calls cus if the school can do it,, then vOLLEYBALL CAN

will probably miss half of the class calls from oversleeping/forgetting anyway.

sheepishly ask yamaguchi, yachi or tsukishima for help on assignments/notes. (he will NEVA ask kageyama. he’s always in competition with him here!)

still practices volleyball 24/7 in his backyard or room (maybe even with his baby sister??)

He’s really good at practicing all by himself from practicing all alone in middle school—

but will probably go crazy being alone all the time with his family. he just wants to play volleyball with the team again.

looks up “what to do when you’re bored” or “what to do at home while in quarantine” on youtube

Kageyama Tobio

probably says he’s immune to the corona because he’s just better than everyone else

doesn’t really think it’s real until school shut down because of it

When he sees that corona is airborne he wont know what that means so he’d probably think it’s produced by air itself?? which makes him think air is trying to kill the human race?? and will be so confused as to why it decided to pop up now???

DESPISES online school. He had enough trouble understanding it from the gecko, so now he has to learn it basically all by hiMSELF?!?

And no way is he just gona email the teacher for help. If he does it’s gonna be only once in his lifetime. Anymore than that he thinks he’s doin too much. He doesn’t want his teachers thinking he’s dumb 😭

he says literally nothing during the calls he just tries to pay attention? and fails because he’s on a computer. in his room. alone. he’s bound to daze off or stare at a pen for 5 minutes.

Obvi still practices volleyball. Very much misses it. At least Hinata had his sibling to practice with him. tobio is a lone wolf in his household.

When his mom goes out to get groceries he gives her one of those doctor masks so she doesn’t catch corona.

Few moments later through the internet he realizes that corona is smaller than air molecules so if you can breathe through something you could still get it so he struggles for an hour thinking he just killed his mother

When his mom is back he keeps his distance in case she’s carrying the plague

omg did she just cough or am i imagining things no she definitely coughed she has corona oh oh god

In reality she was just clearing her throat.

is lowkey worrying about everyone and how they are 🥺 (yes, maybe even hinata).

thinks he’s science smart by calling it covid-19 than corona.

Asahi Azumane

He just worries about everyones health

like he just imagines the worst case scenario’s and starts to get really worried if people got it. Always checks on everyone and asks if they’re feeling any symptoms of corona ❤️

He’s either not gonna get it or he gets it and dies there’s no inbetween

but he’s jesus himself so theres no way he nor anyone in his bloodline can get it

is very happy to know that dogs can’t get it.

Takes online school seriously and tries his best

And is honestly so sad school just ended??? even if it’s temporary, he could be learning, playing volleyball, and going about his day instead of staying in a cage. he’s a third year so—how would graduation even go..?

always is up to date on the news !! and notifies everyone if anything important is added/changed.

Always tells everyone to stay safe! Whether through text or before ending a call.

only buys a lot of toilet paper from the fear of there being no toilet paper in stock since evERYONE IS BUYING IT-

Starts to try new hobbies that he put off for the longest time cus quarentine is rlly getting to him.

Is all out a family guy so he doesn’t mind the extra time with his family.

Nishinoya Yu

OAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOA

420 blazin’

thinks going outside means you’re instantly gonna die from corona attacking your white blood cells (????)

but also probably doesnt care as he goes outside like everyday to run around and get rid of energy (and to practice volleyball, of course).

also why is it called white blood cells when blood is red ☠️ smh

Buys 101611018320129 bags of chips because that’s his comfort food

yay more gaming time!!!

Noya🐒: Tanaka do u wana play minecraft 2getr latr?

Tanaka🍌: HELL YEAH!!

doesn’t shower for three days straight because screw personal hygiene!! No more school!!! Can do whatever he wanted!! It’s basically summer!!!

until he’s forced to do online school.

Is def the class clown. Probably somehow kicks the teacher out of the call through a little bit of hacking.

“alright guys so i’ll be you’re substitute teacher for the day-“

tbh acts the same as he would in school. maybe a little more rebellious because, i mean, what is the teacher gonna do? send him to DETENTION? call his mOMMY?

Calls/spams literally everyone in his contacts because he’s so bored and lonely. Answer him!! Y’all will be on facetime for hours!!

He’s fun to facetime.

Will call you a loser if you don’t have an apple iPhone because then he can’t facetime you and facetiming is one of his favorite things to do to pass time (besides gaming)

HE A TRUE GAMER

Okay but he lowkey still tries at school for the sake of his grades and his future ;-; maybe calls asahi or sugawara for help??

always looks up his homework on the internet to see if he can get an answer key or something (he did that anyway even before corona but)

will do one subject for 3 hours thinking he’s finally done with everythinf till he realizes he has like 4 other subjects and needs to do those too.

Sending memes all the time

Tsukishima Kei

oh, what about corona again?

honestly could give NO fucks??. like ABSOLUTELY ZERO. nonxistent.

doesn’t even remember it’s still happening half the time.

is surprisingly very knowledgeable about corona.

he’s just smart and sciency¿ so he understands the ins and outs of corona like how it works and how its spread.

so if you tRULY want any update or background info on the corona virius, ask Tsukishima.

bitch don’t touch me you have rabies.

doesn’t care that he’s obligated to stay at home because he would have stayed either way. he very much likes being alone.

might go a little crazy cooped up in his room so he’ll hang with his brother/family or go outside before he says ‘okay that’s enough’ and goes back to his room.

isolation? oh okay *puts on headphones*

he rlly gonna be rocking it out in his room cus he can listen to music all day any day

developes a really bad sleep schedule since he had no way to get rid of the energy he got rid of at school.

still a huge tease so he says everyone has the corona virius.

is never online on social media which means he’s never up to date with his frIENDS. Doesn’t have a clue what those dipshits are doing and could care less (besides yamaguchi,, they probably facetime or call thru skype or something).

I bet the whole volleyball squad has a groupchat and honestly he puts all notifs on mute cus his phone keep goin DING DING DING DI DING ID DID IDKNG DING DIG

Brother: Omg why are you getting so many text messages?

Tsukki: Shut up

if he is online on the gc and he texts it would be simple replies like “Hi” “Okay.” “No.” “Goodbye.” and then he’s gone for another week

every first year is begging on their knees for tsukishima to give the answers or help them out and he obviously says: go do the hw yourselves idiots

besides yamaguchi!!!! again!! cus theyre gay for each other

maybe practices once in awhile with his brother or alone in his backyard but he doesn’t care

Tanaka Ryuunosuke

buys 101817 pounds of toilet paper because everyone else is? but not because of the same reason as asahi. he thinks toilet paper is the cure to corona.

GO STUPID AAAAAAAAA GO CRAZY AAAAAAAAAAA-

probably has a part time job at a grocery store so he still has to go to work 😭 i dont even know how he could have a job in the first place he’s probably always late-

still gamin with noya of course

GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM IM PLAYING MINECRAFTT

also buys like all the junk food thats in stock. and since he works at the grocery store he gets a ton of coupons and deals.

texts Kiyoko everyday goodmorning ❤️❤️❤️ and goodnight 😘😘 texts just to be left on read.

“i love it when she ignores me !!!”

scrolls through tiktoks for 1000 hours to pass time

School Is For Losers!!

similar to noya, he thought it was basicaly summer until he realized they were gonna be doing online school. literally had a fit and said he didnt wanna do jack squAt

Laughs so hard when nishinoya somehow kicks the teacher out of the call he’s like laughing so loud and hard he starts crying

all of the sudden has a better view on school

gets excited when he sees nishinoya on the call

makes funny and ugly ass faces when the teacher isn’t looking. everyone laughs and the teacher’s like 🤨

probably uses the green screen effect so he can change hus background (somehow) and accidentally misclicks a file so a girl wit a bikini becomes his background for .5 seconds before changing it to a cursed meme:

doesn’t get half the shit the teacher is talking about

but it’s okay because the half he doesn’t get is the other half noya gets

and the half noya doesnt get is the orher half tanaka gets

they’re two peas in a pod 🥰

until they try explaining it to each other and suddenly get confused?? mental malfunction ¿?

yeah im SMART!!!

s -

m -

a -

r - penis

t -

Daichi Sawamura

quite calm about the whole coronavirus

like he knows it is serious and understands how it is spread but he’s still calm about it??

tells everyone to sanitize and wash hands on a regular. and social distancing!!

honestly still wakes up like he does on normal school days and does all his academics just fine.

he even does gym activities (besides volleyball) for 30 minutes to an hour!!!! he be running on that treadmil! getting stronk!

does each subject on his own for 20-40 min each day. he’s really good at self discipline

makes sure sugawara and asahi are up to date on school work and will gladly help.

sadly can’t help the first years (and probably second years) because that info is deep in his brain and basically forgot how to do it after a year or two of not using it.

VERY VERY VERY sad that volleyball nationals are cut off. this is his last year and for it to be??? gone??? just because of some flu?!?! hates it.

he wishes school to go back and still has hope that school will go back to normal in a couple of weeks (even though it’s a slim chance).

asks the teacher questions whenever he has questions. He’s also vv considerate so he’ll ask questions he knows the answer to but asks them for anyone who’s confused ab it/wants to ask but is too shy. (literally i lov daichi sm)

Eats a healthy amount of everything

asks asahi for any updates on corona even though he’s quite up to date himself. he just wanna make sure he didn’t miss anything.

also doesn’t mind being around his family. he’ll do more chores around the house to help his parents out :> he’s literally perfect wtf

def does worry about everyone in the volleyball gc and anyone else he has contact with. Will also email classmates and ask if they’re doing all right. Even away from volleyball he’s a team player ☺️✌️

Is happy for the rest of the day when asahi tells him dogs can’t get corona.

Yamaguchi Tadashi

oaoaiquqhdkoaiaagadjsiwi?

doesn’t know what to believe anymore

keeps in touch with everyone!! always online 24/7 on social media, vball gc, you name it.

Literally everyone is acting so normal why are people so calm am i the only one worrying about this and the worlds future like this year has been really bad so far for not just me but the whole nation actually the entire world honestly like war almost broke out in january and now this corona stuff is really buttering my crissont the wrong way-

Even though tsukishima literally gives No Fucks, yamaguchi is the complete opposite.

like tsukki and yamaguchi call on skype and eVERY TIME yamaguchi starts with ‘how have you been? do you feel sick at all? have you drank enough water today?’ and so on

“What are you even worrying about?”

“Well...what if you get the corona virius?... it can be deadly, you know!! Thousands of people have died from it!!! The fact school is shutting down and people are panicking is making me feel like i should be panicking-“

Tsukki will then snarkily reassure him it’s fine and people their age are the least likely to get it bad.

Yamaguchi will feel a little better afterwords

“Thank you, Tsukki!”

Tsukki will ‘tch’ it off

Even though he gets really good grades he has triuble finding motivation to do any school work?? doing school work in his own home? 😐

His home was kinda a place he can chill whereas school is a place he can be fully focused

but now his home is ALSO school??!!?

Luckily he understands the work, at least.

When he sees tsukishima on the call, too, he instantly says hello.

“Tsukki!! Hey!! 😁”

“Shut up.”

“Gomen, Tsukki.”

Yeah. Even when they aren’t at school, he’s still the same as always.

He takes extra care of his family and always stays in touch with other relatives. Especially grandpa and grandma. THE SECOND he learned elderly people are at more risk you bet your ass he’s calling them making sure they’re okay. He checks up on them everyday now.

He peobably practices volleyball a little, too. He’s more focused on schoolwork though.

Sugawara Koushi

Have you guys ate dinner yet? 🥺

obviously checking up on everyone

he would fail as a mother if he didn’t.

Actually reads in his free time?? He finally has time on his hands to read these books so.... here we are!

Wakes up at a scheduled time everyday (minus weekends. Maybe sleeps for an extra hour or so).

He dresses in pjs rather than actual clothes because he’s not going anywhere with this social distancing thing.

Always tries to lighten the mood when all the students are on the online call. Maybe crack some joke or innocently play around with the effects.

He still pays close attention in class and does quite well on his own. No help from his parents! He can do everything on his own! He a big boi!

Does homework really well, too. Probably does extra work or more work than needed just because it makes him feel good afterwords.

Honestly i can see him cooking in his free time. If he doesnt feel like reading or scrolling mindlessly through his phone, he gonna cook.

Will make the best cookies in the universe.

HAS A HECK OF A SWEET TOOTH. NOT A DAY GOES BY WITHOUT HIM GETTING HIS PRETTY HANDS ON SUM TREAT

Honestly isn’t too good with exercise so he might gain a few pounds or grow the smallest chub 🥺🥺🥺 he would be so cute omfg.

is realy involved with his family!! they play a board/card game every friday night and have the best time.

if he has a dog, cat, or literally any animal you know he’s gona be hanging with them since he has more time.

Still! Playing! Volleyball! I mean by now every boy is practicing at least a little bit. He would probably be in his backyard playing volleyball with his family. Theyy’d set up a net and everythin! They’re all rookies at it but he still cherishes the moments with them.

It’s honestly still practice. Better than nothing

He talks about how his family plays volleyball and everyone is so jealous like 😭😭 makes him more grateful hearing half the volleyball team saying they have to practice alone.

Watching youtube videos of random videos/vines making him giggling.

“Hey, Dachi, look at this video.”

IS A SWEETHEART STFU !!!

[hey-hamlet]

BNHA AU Ideas: Don’t Praise the Almighty (Part 2)

Also on AO3!

TW: Child Abuse (all kinds implied, explicit verbal and physical abuse), implied CSA

TL;DR:

Things you must sacrifice to make a hero: Humanity, Empathy.

Things you must sacrifice to be a hero: Everything.

But with the end of a symbol come the end of the hurt. 

Starting with I-Island Expo

mellissa calls them over like canon, shouto basically demands he gets endeavours spot. aizawa and yamada go too, mostly because yamada was going there for his show and they heard whispers of all might, and were worried about a possible izuku attending so aizawa went as a plus one

the other kids are there for the same reason, but other than scissors paper rock for the tickets it was a tournament brawl because ochako demanded combat.

she won, of course

anyway, they meet up w david and melissa, and izuku and her go explore the expo when melissa tells izuku shes quirkless he just give her the strangest look, and she's a little confused

i-island was a very chill attitude towards quirks. if you have one, cool, but they aren't useful to the inventors so its nbd if you don’t. and she says ab how she's a researcher and all the and he just looks at her like shes speaking gibberish

"they,,, they let you?"

and melissa looks dumbfounded "obviously? i mean, my grades are good enough?"

and izuku just start to cry. melissa is panicking bc she's already adopted this little hero as her little cousin because he's basically uncle might's kid. she like, hides him away in a corner and tries to understand what's wrong

and all she can get out of this crying kid is

"i used to be quirkless" and "don't tell all might"

she gives him a big hug and he talks ab how he was treated in middle school, and about how he hasn't told anyone in ua. she asks why he said don't tell all might and he murmurs that allmight doesn't think is very befitting of a hero to cry

deep down that doesn't sound right to her. but she only nods, hands him a tissue and they giggle about it behind a fancy model car

back in the office david and all might are talking

all might tells david that he knows his quirk is fading but it's ok, because he's training a successor and izuku is going to be perfect. that sounds ok to david. he's warmed by the total faith all might seems to have in his student, and the close relationship they must have to call him by his first name

all might confesses he’s looking forward to retiring and nurturing his student and david calls off the whole heist (well. he tries to. not that they listen.)

so Yamada and Aizawa are walking around the showroom floor and they see a "i was just crying but im trying to hide it and going an ok job" izuku with some random fucking blonde girl and they s w o o p in bc these are some worried dads

basically Yamada keeps her busy while aizawa says "oh i have to talk to you ab something" izuku goes over to aizawa and hes freaking the fuck out quietly. aizawa just leans down to look him in the eye

"you ok, kid?"

and izuku is confused

"what do you mean?"

"you looked a little upset back there, do you know that girl? is she,,, doing anything? to you?"

and izuku feels all warm and fuzzy inside and smiles at his teacher bc aizawa cares!! ab him!!

"no sensei, shes all mights kind-of-niece, she was just showing me around the expo"

and aizawa winces a little at the all might comment but what can he do

"well, don't forget you can talk to me, ok? i know i gave you my number on an emergency basis but i also want you to know your definition of an emergency is terrible. just call whenever you want"

melissa, bc she understands social cues unlike izuku, and also bc shes fucking 18 looks at yamada and says "what's wrong?" and yamada feels all the force of an 18-year-old girls glare of "ive adopted this kid and ill kick you for him"

"just worried about the little listener is all, he looked a little down"

melissa just sighs and nods

"yeah."

yamada expects her to continue but she doesn't. they both just kinda fiddle around with some random buttons until aizawa brings izuku back, who looks significantly cheerier now. melissa declares lunch is on her and that the teachers are coming too

aizawa and yamada try to wiggle their way out of it, until izuku also tries to so they all double down on going to lunch and izuku gets dragged along

when they get there he's fretting ab what won't ruin his diet plan, and aizawa and yamada feel bad. melissa just tells him to get what he wants

"but i dont want to upset-. i should be sticking to my diet plan though."

aizawa loudly declares hes getting a chocolate sundae and pork cutlet sandwiches. melissa, equally loudly, decides on carbonara. yamada fumbles for a bit looking for something unhealthy because hes a mess, finally finds a chicken karrage bowl and points at it like hes very proud of himself

melissa loses her shit laughing, izuku just giggles softly and aizawa fuckn snorts at the crestfallen look on yamada

izuku quietly asks if getting katsudon would be ok and melissa just looks into his eyes

"izuku i would kill a man for you of course pork katudon is ok"

anyway, the other students turn up, and momo shouts them all food, ochako proudly declares herself the winner of a fighting tournament and aizawa just slumps in his chair

"if i didnt hear that, you dont get detention for using your quirks without supervision"

and ochako just smiles with a scary amount of teeth

"who said we used quirks, sensei?"

and ochako proudly shows off the bruise on her upper arm where jirou punched her and jirou is whining bc she has a foot shaped imprint in her stomach s t i l l from the last round

everyone is talking n shooting the shit. it strikes the kids (and the teachers) a little weird that izuku is in his hero costume (the only other person there in costume is yamada, who is representing his agency. aizawa is in free dress but also his scarf bc he wanted to ask how the fuck it was made) but they just kinda, don't mention it

anyway, the bit w the quirk display

they hound aizawa into doing it, and he makes time pretty similar to bakugo and everyone is cheering for him and he's trying very hard to maintain his "im a professional hero not a dad getting cheered on by his stupid kids"

yamada wants to do it, but aizawa won't let him bc people need their ears

all the hero kids give it a go, including ochako, jirou, momo, etc. izuku (who at this point is like at 10%ish full cowl) makes time tied w Todoroki and izuku is talking ab how amazing todoroki is, and tenya chimes in with "you are quite amazing as well!" and midoriya blushes so hard he looks like a strawberry. he is very very flustered and keeps trying to deny it

eventually, everyone piles on the compliments (even katsuki bc this is the most fun hes had in ages) until izuku gets so flustered he hides behind aizawa like "you won't do this to me right?"

aizawa fuckn ruffles his hair and says "you're a good kid"

izuku just cries but he's smiling so wide everyone knows he's happy

so its the night of the party

izuku is dressed to the nines and he's sad ab it bc he wanted to wear something cheery and bright but instead he was dressed in a charcoal black suit, vest and a dark red tie. black shoes too

the one bit of cheer he shoved in were some red laces bc all might didn't mind them bc he was so "good" ab the suit fitting and the poking and prodding so he wears the bright red laces and he's very happy ab them

all might is in his hero costume, and he's very proud of the fact he and izuku match like a pair with the same shade of red bc that's his successor! his boy! all might tells izuku he can wait outside for the rest of the kids to show up and izuku is so happy! so he thanks allmight a lot more than he needs to and waits outside the door (all might was early to the event bc he needed to schmooze)

aizawa and yamada come later to a surprisingly well dressed izuku waiting patiently off to the side

they ask him why he's out there and he happily chirps that he's waiting for the other students that attended, they smile at him and walk in . all might sends them a glare from across the floor that aizawa returns just as spitefully

anyway, iida texts that he's stuck out the front bc the door won't open so he scrambles over to let iida and, apparently ochako as well, in (for the purposes of this au, todoroki, iida, ochako, izuku and melissa are the only ones of the kids at the beginning, todoroki's melodramatic entrance is stolen by jirou and momo. no mineta or kami bc they just,,, arent there lmao)

so the doors slam shut and melissa is like "wtf wtf" and the announcement sounds. they pile up the stair to look down to the dining room, teachers and other heroes tied up

the kids know a bit of sign from various hero class training bits by aizawa and "fun facts" by mic

so they brokenly sign to allmight and aizawa (the only teachers that can see them) that they are going to fix this

all might nods

aizawa looks panicked. these are kids. his kids. they shouldn't have to fight people with fucking guns

izuku says "ill keep them safe" and aizawa wants to cry because he believes him, but who'll keep izuku safe

so iida starts on his whole "we cant use quirks" speech before melissa can even remind them ab i islands quirk laws, izuku just murmurs

"all might gave me permission to fight. it'll be ok."

melissa freezes bc,,, she knows adults shouldn't be letting these kids fight, even if that's exactly what she's going to help them do. she mentions the quirk law anyway

now todoroki is pissed at all might but the bitch was gonna fight anyway. ochako is 100% roaring for a showdown

now they are,, a little more cautious. bc they are a smaller group here but izuku is like double the power so its not realllllyy an issue. the middle fight happens, they gain the wlw and mlm solidarity pairs (Jirou + Momo, Kirishima + Bakugo)

then pretty quickly lose bakugo and momo for a hot minute as they stay to finish up the fight while sending the others on

oh izuku totally has the punchy punchy thing from melissa i just forgot to mention it

so, bc melissa's dad didnt actually,, want in on it this time he's fighting back. he's stalling, pleading, backchatting; everything he can do to give someone a chance to fix his fuck up before it kills someone

so melissa and izuku make it to the top of the tower

izuku has been at shot more times than he's really happy about, just he has nothing more than a few grazes. melissa has a nasty bruise on her face and a cut on her arm from where she redirected a blow that would have stabbed izuku

the villain is talking ab how this was David's idea, and he's trying to explain to the kids that he's sorry, this was a mistake. he tried to call it off but they wouldn't stop. at this point he is totally away these people are real criminals and has been since the heist began

he's trying to convince them to run because as proud as all might is of izuku, and as proud of melissa he is, they are to young. they don't deserve this

izuku takes out the goons but the villain has already escaped with david and the quirk enhancer

izuku promises melissa he'll keep her dad safe and shes left in the control room crying alone because who'll protect the kid that's been nothing but kind and gentle yet has the weight of the world on his shoulders

also just an fyi bc you needed to know- melissa is down her heels and she lost her hairpin when she stabbed someone with it, she threw her heels at a villain too bc she was running out of ideas. melissa literally tied her hair in a big knot so she could fucking see

izuku is down a jacket - threw it over someone's head then punched them and his waistcoat is unbuttoned bc he need to punch. his hair is going fucking hog wild, even in the tighter clip yagi likes it kept in

anyway, when the alarms go off, all might fucking rockets to the roof and aizawa is fuming bc those are his fucking kids too

he and yamada have to take the goddamn elevator to the roof. its certainly not a slow elevator but aizawa is so fucking tense. yamada isn't much better

all might won't let them fight. he hands david and melissa off to them and tells them he and izuku will handle wolfram and aizawa is so pissed bc izuku is on his last fucking legs here

aizawas quirk doesn't work w the enhancer so he admits there isn't much he can do, but yamada is perfect here. but all might won't move out of the way long enough for mic to let his quirk go. honestly, hed be tempted to do it anyway if not for izuku also being there

anyway, all might and izuku do their lil double detroit smash and its all very sweet

kind of

bc,,, aizawa can see how izuku is shaken up, and close to passing out. visibly in a lot of pain but he's swallowing it all down and acting as if everything is fine and aizawa sees izuku with small might again and wonders why, why do they know each other?

yamada and aizawa feel vaguely ill when izuku and all might return to their shared hotel room after all might grabs a few bandages and alcohol wipes from a first aid kit. bc,,, aizawa can see how izuku is shaken up, and close to passing out. visibly in a lot of pain but he's swallowing it all down and acting as if everything is fine

aizawa and yamada stay with the kids, trying to cheer them up and bandaging wounds that don't need urgent medical care. melissa is just blankly watching out the door izuku left through

"why didn't they stay?"

aizawa just aggressively tightens the bandage around his sliced up arm. todoroki looks pissed. iida just kind of looks down

"im not sure, melissa. im... im not sure"

the next morning, as aizawa and yamada stumble downstairs to eat shitty hotel breakfast food, yamada glances out the window and looks like he's about to cry bc izuku, still battered and bruised, is stepping out of the gym over the road. its only 7am

they basically pounce on the kid and drag him to breakfast, where they find out he has been training since 5 and hasn't eaten yet and he's fucking, sheepish about it

"i got up a little late, so i just to my light routine for the morning, ill have to make up the time a little later"

aizawa just shoves pastries at his kid. izuku tries to stammer out that they arent part of his diet but,,, they look really nice and he's really hungry and stressed,,, and he caves pretty quick

so aizawa yamada and izuku are sitting around a table, both of his teachers arent totally human until they've had a coffee so izuku is happily babbling about some new hero teach he saw as aizawa grunts in affirmation

allmight shows up and izuku blanches. aizawa and yamada are a little too tired to realise until yagi is already over by the table. izuku quietly puts down the pastry and just cringes into himself

"im,,, im really sorry. i - i just"

"i got it for him" aizawa says totally deadpan as he slams back a whole ass cup of coffee

deep down inside he did it to flex on mister "i have no stomach so im not allowed caffeine"

all might sighs and gently chides izuku for not sticking to his diet plan. izuku nods miserably and excuses himself back to the room to 'get changed out of his sweaty clothes'

yagi sits and eats breakfast with aizawa and yamada as they try to understand what,,, what exactly happened there. it hurts both of them because they aren't sure what all mights doing

mic has seen one instance of something nasty going on, but other than that its just been a collection of terrible vibes

Training Camp Time Baby.

after that total clusterfuck of an event training camps still on

all might wants to go but nezu no sells him bc "you literally attract villains, all might" and like bitch is smart, he knows something is up. he's not sure what yet, but he's working on it

all might gives aizawa a personalised training schedule for izuku that he takes one look at and throws it out the fucking window

basically all might goes as "all might's secretary" to monoma

"very worried about my boy, and i think aizawa is training him too hard, could you please give me a run down on what happens each day?"

monoma, starry-eyed: of course all might

and there is this little,,, list of things he doesn't want izuku doing and he phrases them in ways that make it seem like he's being perfectly reasonable. like allergies or bad habits izuku is trying to break or whatever. izuku has to tell all might what happens at the end of every day anyway

all might,,, wants hourly updates,,,, but he realises that's not going to happen w aizawa's deep hatred of students on cellphones lmao

he hears izuku mentioning to todoroki that "yagi" wants to know what's happening at the camp and that he's excited to talk to his mentor about all the training they do. and aizawa is caught between wanting to find some bullshit reason to take izukus phone, or just pretending he didn't hear that bc who knows how much trouble not answering yagi could get him in

he makes an announcement that cellphones are to be on mute for the duration of the camp anyway.

yagi wanted to go on the camp, aizawa wouldn't let him, monoma is yagis mole etc we have covered this

in this au the league never latched on to bakugo, it's izuku that shigiraki wants, but to backtrack

getting off the bus its funny in a sad way bc izuku was so prepared to get hit by one of the teachers "training" them at any time he dodges the landslide

they all just kinda sit there for a second, stunned. izuku sighs quietly and jumps after his classmates

anyway so, they get to the camp a lil faster bc izuku is More Powerful, izuku (bc hes faster than iida on uneven ground) runs shinsou to the campground, they mind control pixiebob to stop the earthbeasts then run back to show the rest of 1A the way out

they get there in 2 hours

aizawa is very proud of his boy for thinking of that! and he ruffles izukus hair and its cute

in this au izuku isn't confident enough to say hi to kouta, but he waves. kouta just glares at him and he hides behind iida

they do a little extra training because 1A finished the earth beast thing so fast, half of the training is all of 1A trying to stop Izuku from going overboard. they get a little,,, disturbed when they realise just how long izuku can train without visibly breaking a sweat

they go to chill in the baths and iida sees izuku walking out of the changing rooms and freezes

because he's c o v e r e d in hand-shaped bruises

he tries not to react bc he doesn't want izuku to be uncomfortable and change his mind ab hanging in the bath w all of them

kaminari goes to say something and kirishima just fucking pulls him under the water before he can say anything, mineta is socially aware enough to not open his fucking mouth

they chat n izuku can kinda,,, tell,,, something is wrong but most of the bruises are places he can't see/doesn't look, like his shoulders, hips, back, back of his legs

and the ones on his wrist he just kinda brushes off bc he's still convinced this is normal. the thing w mineta happens, izuku helps kouta, iida comes with him to give him to the wild wild pussycats

and pixiebob looks like she wants to say something bc who is hurting this kid? and iida just catches her eyes and he looks so worried. she keeps her mouth shut, but makes sure to mention it to aizawa. she feels terrible when aizawa just curses and pulls his hair in frustration

anyway, 1B shows up and its hilarious bc 1A is going hog fucking wild other than izuku, aizawa is forcing izuku to learn to cook

so bakugo is screaming and blowing shit up, todoroki is in a fucking barrel, iida is running like afo is chasing him and aizawa is patiently showing izuku how to scramble eegs

monoma is losing his fucking mind

but yeah aizawa and izuku are sitting in front of a little stove w their legs crossed, izuku is trying to cut tomatoes and aizawa is supervising. they are making breakfast for 1A. slowly. all of 1A is being very careful to not disturb them, so there is this little bubble of calm around the egg station

"why,,, why arent i training?"

and aizawa fucking pauses

"this is training, keep up problem child."

and izuku looks so fucking lost but the eggs smell good and he gets to cook the bacon next. each part of the fucking breakfast is cold by the time 1A gets to eat it bc izuku was cooking it 1 by 1, little portions at a time

everyone just tells him its fucking wonderful

he joins in training after breakfast, ragdoll is placed on "izuku watching duty" which izuku has 0 clue about. if he gets hurt/sore/too tired someone gets sent over to get him to do something else

when she looks at him the first time she wants to cry bc,,, he's not tired, he's more rested than he's been in ages. but the places that hurt, before hes even been training, are sending blaring alarm bells in her brain

anyway, its amusing bc everyone is 'going beyond' and they are just trying to get izuku back so they can know what is 'going beyond' and what is 'going so far beyond how are you still moving'

everyone is fucking wiped and izuku is like 'this is the easiest training ive had in months what' and aizawas want to yell bc while hes being soft on izuku, they arent taking his training lightly, and this is easy?

he gives the curry to kouta like the show, they all go to sleep

izuku has a nightmare and shouto - the only person not asleep - tries not to hear the things he's saying. he can't hear much, but he wishes he hadn't heard anything. anyway at least they all wake up well-rested

unfortunately in this au the villains actually have a half-decent plan, and fucking, communicators -which isn't great for the kids

so muscular sees izuku and is like "oi compress move your arse over here" while he tries to kill kouta. so we get the joy of izuku saving kouta, getting him to aizawa and just as he hands over the kid, compress takes izuku and kouta just starts to cry

"izuku is kidnapped" time is a ride

the only thing they give him is a set of quirk suppressors and dont give him a key to get out of the bar. they are about as nice to him as they are to each other, a little softer on him bc he's young and they pretty much know what's happening to him

like, he gets out of compresses marble and he's panicking and crying, dabi just crouches down next to him and rubs his back, asks him if he's gonna be ok

shigiraki is trying to convince izuku to join then and his face just kinda falls when he sees izuku looking resistant

"you,,, you don't know that what he’s doing to you is wrong, do you."

and izuku looks like a deer in the headlights

"what do you mean? no ones- nothings- nothings wrong."

dabi just sits on a chair bc he knows where this is going and he doesn't like it. shigiraki looks at izuku

"if its not wrong, then tell me about it"

and izuku clams right up

ok but afo wants to talk to izuku. in this au he has literally 0 beef with the kid

he has only so much beef with the ofa users in general and he's typically pretty soft on them for being part of his brothers legacy, as soft as he can make killing them if they won't stop getting in his way, but still

but he hates allmight so fucking much and he's never been totally sure why

anyway, he asks to talk w izuku and this kid is shaking like a leaf and afo tells him

"you are a child. i have no intention of hurting you, i just want to know what all might has done to you."

"hes not done anything bad, i swear!"

"then why don't you tell me about it?"

izuku sits there quietly and afo feels just generally disgusted with humanity tbh

"how did you two meet?" izuku slowly opens up about the day they first met, and afo feels a stab of empathy for izuku, because being quirkless now is pretty comparable to being quirked before, afo doesnt interject beyond nods and encouraging him to keep going

but eventually, izuku totally clams up, starts crying and can't say anything else. afo wishes he didnt look as scary as he did because he wants to give the kid a hug. he calls tomura to take him back to the bar and get him something to eat

it gets to the point that all of the villains are super fucking soft for izuku. he's very nice, treats them well, and has seen some horrific shit

so when all might shows up to "rescue" him, they close ranks. they don't even pressure him to become a villain, because each of them has felt society push them into boxes they didn't want, and they don't want to do that to izuku

anyway, they get to kamino bc the usual fuckery, and izuku is just stranded behind villains crying and looking ill

the rescue squad : bakugo, todoroki, ochako, kirishima, iida, and one stubborn shinso that befriended the hero departments resident nervous wreck

they look across the field and they feel ill because izuku looks sick. but they feel a little better when twice gives him a bit of a hug.

confilcted, but better

they see afo talking to him gently but quickly, gesturing both to the villains and to the section of wall the rescue squad is hidden behind. izuku tearfully points to the wall, afo nods, ruffles his hair, and goes to send him off when all might rockets in

basically afo has looked at izuku and thought "wow he's me but a good person" and thinks he's what his little brother would want a hero to be, so, while he's very much going to continue his villainous thing, he's going to go out of his way to avoid hurting izuku bc this kid is what his little brother wanted OFA to be

and allmight is exactly what he would have hated

so, all might takes a step forward to drag izuku, the villains push him behind them

dabi is basically saying something along the lines of

"so does being in the top ten require you to be a total dick, or is it just a running theme?"

"give him back"

"why all might, izuku is his own person."

"izuku, get over here, now."

izuku lets out a sob and vaults over the villains, hiding behind allmight and all might looks horrifically smug. izuku whispers something to all might, but all might shakes his head (he was asking if he could run away)

the fight begins

a few reasons he won't let him leave:

its punishment for being 'weak' enough to get kidnapped

its backup if afo gets the better of his because hes made sure izuku is more than a force to be reckoned with

he wants to know what dabi ment and hes very read to ask izuku ab it

izuku is honestly shaking like a leaf, quirk going bonkers and he can't turn it off. the rescue squad does its thing, and their hearts break when they see izuku look at them tearfully and shake his head

they all hide in the crowd and cry as they watch the fight go on, izuku shakily pulling people from the rubble in the background. when hes gotten all of the people free he can, izuku kind of runs out of reasons he isnt actively helping allmight. he grits his teeth and dives into the fight with the other villains

hes trying to keep them away from all might and they all look heartbroken ab having to fight him dabi is saying something along the lines of "we know he hurt you, but how? why?" and izuku is just crying

all might can hear this too

izuku actually misses a few kicks and punches bc his eyes are too filled with tears, but the villains are careful not to hurt him too much. they just want to get him down and out of the fight, but as uninjured as possible

but that's a little fucking difficult when compress and kurogiri are down for the count and everyone else has nasty death quirks

eventually, it gets to the point that trying not to hurt the other villains is only hindering afo, and all might is pulling exactly 0 punches with izuku present, so afo teleports the villains away, they feel bad ab leaving izuku behind but there is no way this little hero would go with them. they know that now

afo goes to deal the final blow to all might, izuku just moves

cant stop himself from planting himself between them and trying desperately to catch the punch. hes hurt, badly. but he's not as dead as all might would have been

there is a vicious edge to all might’s smile as izuku is blown across the battlefield, and lays there w/o moving

afo feels sick, all might just looks pleased

"ive done pretty well wouldn't you say?"

afo just stares at him

"ive created the perfect hero. selfless down to the last breath, filled with overwhelming power and determination."

"he's flawless. isn't he."

afo wants to gag

"so, in creating your 'perfect hero', you find it acceptable to sacrifice your own humanity?"

"absolutely"

(all mights been small might for this conversation i just forgot to mention it l m a o )

they exchange their final blows

izuku shakily gets up from where he lays crumpled on the ground and staggers over to all might, where he stands victorious over afo

iida, todoroki, shinsou, Bakugo, the people who have seen what yagi has done to izuku and how he has treated him are now slapped with the realisation that the number one hero and the person hurting their best friend are one and the same

shinsou punches a wall, bakugo looks like he's about to be sick. iida and todoroki look shell shocked. ochako is just lost and confused

all might wraps izuku is a hug, where izuku hides his sobbing face. all might whispers something in izukus ear, not that the cameras can pick it up

"come on now, heroes don't cry."

izuku takes a breath, wipes away his tears and steps back. All might rests a hand on his shoulder and looks into his eyes, and loud enough for the cameras to pick up and announces

"you're next."

izuku nods solemnly

in the back of a conference room, vlad watches as aizawa goes deathly pale in realisation. at ua, nezu watches on with a degree on concern. at the hospital, the clueless members of 1A cheer. those who know more feel nervous, those who know the most feel sick.

the internet goes fucking bonkers. all might transformed, defeated a crazy villain, and literally declared his successor live on television

izuku and all might end up in the same hospital room, and all might,,, allmight.. ye.

anyway, the kids from the rescue attempt call aizawa over and over and over. every teacher, student, pro

any hero of ua staff they have anyway of contacting, begging to find out where izuku is right now. aizawa would tell them if he wasn't going exactly the same thing himself

eventually recovery girl calls him and he hightails his way over. fyi inko isn't there bc shes passed out drunk at home uwu

he bursts into the hospital room with as much dignity as he could possibly have and it's not really very much. doctors are hovering around, stitching wounds, taking blood, and watching an ecg pretty closely (they felt the room for a minute and izukus started going crazy, so they thought something may have happened to his heart)

the amount izuku perks up when he sees aizawa is heartbreaking he rushes over and immediately starts looking him over, apologising and telling him he's brave and that he's sorry he couldn't be there to help and izuku tears up. all might is glaring a hole in his back but aizawa doesnt give a shit right now, his kid basically go taken by the boogeyman and his unstable son, then has a target painted on his back on live tv. aizawa gives 0 shits ab all might right now

izuku just looks stunned, and then he lets out a watery giggle

"you shaved, sensei."

and aizawa is caught between crying and laughing. gently asks izuku if he can give him a hug, and izuku looks so shocked he was asked aizawa heart breaks again. izuku nods shyly and gets a Good Dad Hug

aizawa stays until izuku falls asleep, then he rounds on all might

“I don’t know what you’ve done to him, but he looked more afraid to be stood next to you than a man who has killed countless. Whatever you did, you won’t be doing it again.”

All might goes to say something, anything, but aizawa grabs him by the front of his hero costume

Aizawa tells him in no uncertain terms that he’ll never be alone in a room with izuku again for as long as he lives.

And with that, he storms out, leaving all might to stew.

[rainbat]

Even though we'll never see it on screen/know for sure how do you headcanon TJ's parents reacting to him being gay? Like from what we know of Cyrus' his parents would be supportive but with TJ its been implied (albeit very subtly) that his home life isn't as good with the "your the only person i can talk to like this" about his feelings and "classic TJ" driving the good things away from him lines

I have two dividing HCs, similar to how i see his family life.

On one side, I draw TJ’s family life/parents off of the ever hoping Kippen siblings. Obviously Amber’s parents fight a lot, that’s canon. She said on the phone that she wasn’t going to go home because it made her upset to see them fight and they .. didn’t seem to care. Her dad lost his job and she has a job as a 14/15 year old  to help compensate. Throw TJ into the mix then, a kid who has dyscalculia, didn’t know how to do 3rd grade math in 7th grade and NO ONE knew or even THOUGHT he might have a learning disability? I don’t see their parents as very...aware. They have marital and job issues, their kids have jobs to try to support them, and they don’t care if their kids are struggling socially/in school or if they even make it home for the night. I think TJ being gay would be the LAST thing they would care about at that point. I will always hc TJ’s parents as emotionally neglectful, that they just honestly don’t care THAT MUCH about him (or Amber). Him being gay is just something he’s known for a while and just...never really cared to tell his parents. It’s not something he ever feels he would get satisfaction out of.

In that retrospect, how I can see the situation going down is: He’s with Cyrus, they hang out at TJ’s house a lot since his parents are never there, they’re on the couch together and maybe Amber is there too, just watching a movie and his dad comes home and Amber and TJ are..unbothered, don’t care to even look up. And their dad is like ‘who is this? Why is there another kid in our house?’ and TJ is just like ‘That’s Cyrus, my boyfriend’ and his dad is just like ‘Okay well don’t give him any of our food, I just went shopping’  and huffs off. And Cyrus is like *blink* ‘your dad knows you’re gay?’ and TJ just shrugs, ‘I guess he does now’

OKAY other hc, which is assuming it’s been proven TJ and Amber are :( not siblings.. i’ll try to keep it a little short oops it is long

TJ’s parents, again, are emotionally neglectful. His mom has remarried and he has a couple younger step siblings that she, and his step-father, spoil and adore, while TJ is a glorified, free babysitter. They instil proper, catholic values which, surprise, surprise, means they aren’t super huge on gay rights. Ironically, learning about the existence of gay people in church is what made him realise he could like boys like that, and that he does. So he stays silent, suffers through church, avoids ever saying anything because it’s not a conversation he knows is going to go well.

Cue Cyrus, finally a boy that he just..would give the world to. He’s met Cyrus’ parents, he’s out to most people. But they still avoid his family. He has to be careful to keep it from his siblings and his mom and step dad, which is a little toxing for Cyrus, but he doesn’t complain. Of course TJ can tell though. He wants to say something, wants to  show off his boyfriend so badly, if maybe it slightly is in spite. There’s a point where he just..does it. Just snaps. Maybe something escalates to it but he’s just like, ‘Well guess what, mom? Cyrus is my boyfriend. Yeah. Boyfriend. Like, really fucking gay.’ and she’s just kind of like ‘stop it, Tname Jname. Stop making stuff up just to make me mad.’ and TJ  would literally have to prove he was dating Cyrus. He’d pull up pictures of them together, show her text conversations. Just reveal EVERYTHING and yeah.. i don’t imagine it going well. 

She’d definitely just try to push the ‘you just want attention/youre just trying to make me mad’ route. Since he was..already pretty neglected i think they’d just live in passive aggression. He’d still have to  babysit and do whatever she asked, but it was with  more anger and spite. I  think, hope (lol this is my head but ok) that over time things would get a little easier..but idk i live for angst i don’t see her ever being like ‘bring Cyrus around for dinner’ i think more just like ‘he’ll grow out of it eventually but im not gonna deal with it if i dont have to’ ‘as long as he’s still at church’ etc. Somewhere..far down the road she would end up attending his wedding, to a man whoever that may be..and maybe sort of apologising for his childhood

WOW that was a lot im so sorry but .. TJ just. .. really makes my brain start chugging..also i just got out of a final an hour early and have an hour to kill.. so  you get this!

wow i love angsty tj

[blacksheep28]

IKEA Days

The group headed for the door.

She paused, heading for the living room to dig out her keys and nab her real clothes. “Hey, you boys can start the car, I need to change real quick.” The keys were pressed into the hands of whoever was closest before dashing off to get ready. Papyrus gasped, practically exploding with excitement at being entrusted with the keys. The group headed out. “we’re just starting the car, not driving it,” Papyrus reminded them.

Once she had a bra on again and she’d smoothed out her hair as much as possible, Shannon rejoined the boys outside. “So where to first?” “PAPYRUS MENTIONED A PLACE CALLED IKEA THAT SELLS FURNITURE PUZZLES!” Sans exclaimed eagerly. "Yep, it sure does." This would be fine, right? She'd put together IKEA furniture before. It couldn't be that bad. "Alright. Figure out where you're all sitting and hop in, I'll drive." The lazy Papyrus settled into the back while the other Papyrus and Sans engaged in a staring contest. Sans looked at them from the front seat. “that seems intense.” Papyrus whipped to look at him. “SANS! WHEN DID YOU GET HERE?” "Well. Shotgun it is. Hope you can navigate well, Sans," Shannon shot over at him with a smile. "Middle row or back row, you two, we have places to be." The shocked pair clambered into the back and settled down. Sans chuckled. “I’m a great guide.” "Alrighty, guide us safely to the mystical land of IKEA, my greatest guide." Shannon pulled out of the driveway and headed towards the city, flipping on the radio and offering out an AUX cord. "Any of you have musical preference?" “better than girl guides,” Sans joked. He pulled out the map. “OH! I LIKE FAST MUSIC!” Papyrus volunteered. “BATTLE MUSIC!” Sans added. “how about swing?” Papyrus asked. "I'm going to pretend you mean the Canadian version of Girl Scouts and spare you from my fist in your face," she smiled sweetly, then tossed the cord back towards the middle console. "I like it all, take turns." Shannon suddenly felt like she was thirteen again and helping take care of too many children at once. Sans blinked. “girl scouts? not girl guides?” So many jokes he’d have to redo. Papyrus took the cord first and blasted out  Everything is Awesome. "That what we call it where I'm from." Shannon raised a brow at the music, but didn't take back her cord and tapped her finger along the wheel in time when she found the beat. Sans directed Shannon along as Papyrus took over and put on Sing Sing by Benny Goodman. Her tapping switched immediately to the old fingerings she remembered on the tenor. "Whoever picked this wins definite brownie points," Shannon shouted back towards the boys. Papyrus grinned. “will hold you to that honey.” She grinned towards her rear view mirror and felt a little remorse when they pulled up to the IKEA. It was fun getting to know their music tastes, in her opinion. "Okay, so this place is easy to get lost in. Nobody wander off," Shannon stressed, pointing at Sans and Sans. "You especially. I could spot the others from a mile away, but I'd lose you two forever." “got it. no wondering.” “SANS! SHE SAID NO WANDERING!” “right. no wondering about wandering.” “SANS!” “i’ll just have to wander on wondering.” Papyrus screeched in anguish, the relaxed Papyrus chuckling while the energetic Sans looked torn. Shannon stared blankly at the exchange. "...I didn't get enough sleep for this. Sans, you stay with me." She took his hand in hers and held on tight. "Is there anyone else I need to physically hold on to?" Sans looked at her holding his right hand. “something’s right.” Papyrus looked like he was fighting the urge to kill his brother. The other Sans looked pained at that one himself. The sweatshirt Papyrus slumped over to Shannon’s other side. “i don’t want to get left behind.” At first her cheeks flushed. Then the word play hit her and she tipped her head back and groaned, slipping a hand into Papyrus' anyway. "You two are terrible. Come on, let's go get some furniture." She dragged the group inside and asked where they wanted to begin. "What do we need to get first?" “BEDS FOR EVERYONE,” Papyrus stated. "So we need two beds, I'm assuming the beds you've already got at home are still in tact," Shannon nodded. "So we are going to 'bedroom', follow me." The group traveled through, the occasional customer and employee watching them curiously. Monsters were still an oddity with how rare they were.

“HOW ABOUT THIS ONE?” Sans suggested, pointing to a bed that looked really hard to assemble. “why don’t we test it,” Sans joked. "It looks nice. Let's see." Her hand left Sans' for exactly three seconds to test the bed's sturdiness, and there he went. She grabbed for him immediately. "Whoa, hey, no wandering off. You already have a bed, mister, don't make me pull a Girlfriend Move and have you keep your hands in my pockets," she threatened with a glare. Sans chuckled. “worth a try.” Sans examined the bed. “IT LOOKS STURDY.” Papyrus hummed resting his head on Shannon. “looks good.” "Why don't you test it out, Sans?" She looked to the skeleton in her grasp and squeezed slightly. "Not you. You stay here." “gonna leave me sans bed?” Sans face palmed. “THAT IS MY NAME AS WELL,” he complained. He sat on the bed and bounced slightly. “IT’S COMFY!” Shannon smiled towards the energetic Sans in need of a bed and let go just long enough to give a light smack to the back of the other Sans' head. "That's great! How about you, Papyrus, see anything you want to try?" Sans chuckled at the smack, only half heartedly even attempting to dodge. “I DO NOT NEED A BED! MY RACECAR BED IS VERY COOL AND SUITS ALL MY NEEDS!” Papyrus answered. “think she meant me,” the other Papyrus muttered awkwardly. He slouched down. "Yeah, I did mean this one," she clarified, jiggling Papyrus' hand in hers slightly with a hum. "This... Might get confusing if you boys are all going to stay together. Maybe we should come up with a naming system." Sans unfortunately lit up. “how about comic for me?” “WHAT? WHY?” Papyrus asked. “cause i’m comical.” Shannon bit back a laugh and looked at Papyrus and Sans' strained expressions. "Not that it isn't fitting, but let's choose something that won't give half the household an aneurysm, maybe." “I COULD BE GUARD!” Sans suggested brightly. “could just call me pal,” Papyrus suggested lazily. “PAPS! THAT’S NOT A PROPER NICKNAME!” "I mean, if you'd like that, little blue dude," she agreed before turning to address possibly the worst nickname she'd heard yet. "And that is just truly awful, orange, I'd mix you up with people in a heartbeat. No way." Sans blushed blue again, before quickly forcing his magic back. Why did he like the way that sounded? Papyrus chuckled looking down at his hoodie. “huh. orange works.”

“what about bill?” Sans suggested straight faced. Shannon took a look at 'Orange' and chuckled softly. "You know what, it's unique. It works." She eyed Sans suspiciously-- After that comic suggestion, there was no way this wasn't a trap. Somehow. "Bill sounds fine. If that's what you want."

“THAT’S VERY MATURE OF YOU,” Papyrus congratulated. Sans immediately started humming the Bill Nye theme song. Papyrus twitched. “NYEH!” It took every ounce of self control to snap her mouth shut and keep from chanting along. She twitched, before completely dissolving into giggles. Sans grinned widely, looking completely pleased with her response. Orange Papyrus snickered as well, while the other two looked simply exasperated by their lack of maturity. “HARD TO BELIEVE THEY’RE OLDER,” Sans commented. “Okay, so you’re officially forgiven for wandering off earlier,” Shannon gasped through her dying laughter. “Whew.” She shot a look at the skeletons still holding her hands and raised a brow. “Really? You two are older?” “yup.” Sans grinned at her. “YOU WOULD NEVER GUESS IT FROM HIS BEHAVIOR,” Papyrus pouted. Her eyes flitted between the sets of siblings curiously. “No, no, I see it. Me and my brother are the same way,” Shannon admitted with an amused sigh. “When I was in grade school I helped him with his high school homework.” Orange and Bill looked impressed, while Sans and Papyrus gasped in awe. They looked absolutely ecstatic. “WOWIE! YOU MUST BE BRILLIANT!” Papyrus cheered. “I BET YOU’RE GREAT AT PUZZLES!” Sans exclaimed. The praise made her want to sink into the mattress in front of them and never resurface, but puzzles? Shannon lit up. “I do like puzzles! Mysteries are my favorite, but I like all kinds!” she gushed excitedly, squeezing Bill and Orange’s hands. Orange happily squeezed her hand back. “IT’LL BE GREAT PUTTING THE BEDS TOGETHER,” Papyrus said happily. He and Sans walked over and picked up the huge boxes the beds came in. “I’m sure it will be,” she smiled before her entire expression froze at the sight. They were just picking up the beds, like they were nothing. “I... Wow, monsters sure are strong, huh. Do you— Do you two wanna set those down somewhere before we continue?” “WE CAN PUT IT IN OUR PHONES,” Papyrus answered. “BUT SHOULDN’T WE PAY FIRST?”

Shannon looked around to find the direction of the checkout before she paused, whirling back around to Papyrus. “Wait, phones? Do you have a QR scanner or something?”

“A WHAT?” Papyrus asked. “a qr scanner. handheld device that scans an item to help people buy it,” Bill answered. “NO, WE DON’T HAVE THAT. WE JUST STORE ITEMS DIRECTLY,” Sans said.

“What the hell does— What do you mean, you store items directly?” she asked with a nervous laugh. “Do you have like hammerspace in your cell phones?”

“basically,” Orange admitted. “DO HUMANS NOT HAVE THAT?” Sans asked. “HUMANS LACK A LOT OF BASICS,” Papyrus explained. “WE ARE WORKING TO HELP WITH THAT BUT IT IS SLOW.” “their science has stuff we didn’t know,” Bill pointed out.

Shannon took a minute to just stare at the ground, slightly agape. Actual endless space inventory was a thing to monsters, and also basic. “I...really need to learn more about monster magic,” she sighed softly, straightening up.

“WE CAN TEACH YOU!” Papyrus immediately volunteered.

“You know? I’d like that,” Shannon smiled. “But primary mission first— Let’s take these up to checkout to put on hold.”

The group walked to the front. Every single human they walked past, employee and customer, stopped and stared at the floating boxes following the skeletons.

Shannon leaned across the service counter to scribble her name on a piece of paper. “We’re buying these, but we have some more looking around to do,” she explained with a smile. The employee took their ticket without a word and Shannon moved the group away, reclaiming Bill and Orange’s hands. “So what else, boys?”

The bed boxes were put down and they continued in. “still need mattresses and blankets,” Orange noted.

“CLOTHES TOO,” Sans added. “IT’S BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE YOUR HOODIE WAS WASHED.” Orange shrugged lazily.

"Okay, so back to the bedroom. And we'll stop by a clothing store on the way home, if you'd like," Shannon offered, leading the way back to the right section. "There's actually a mall in the center of town."

“sounds good to me,” Bill said lazily. The group tested a few mattresses, Orange letting go to flop face first into one while Sans yelled at him for being lazy.

She grinned at Orange's behavior and followed suit, hopping down on the bed beside him. How could she pass up the chance to test out a mattress? "Oh, this one's a good one. Gives just a little, firm support."

“SHANNON! DON’T ENCOURAGE HIM!” Sans scolded. Papyrus picked up Bill where he had somehow managed to fall asleep while standing.

"How else would you test the mattress, little blue dude?" she shot back, lifting her head just enough to grin up at him.

“THAT-IT-“ Sans spluttered a little. His cheeks tinted faintly blue. “THAT NICKNAME IS LONGER THAN MY ACTUAL NAME!” He finally got out.

Her grin turned into a softer, sweet smile upon seeing Sans' reaction. "Yes it is, but you do know I'm talking to you," Shannon hummed in amusement. "Would you prefer little blue?"

His blush increased further and Papyrus laughed softly. Orange grinned. “yeah little bro. that work?”

"Little Blue?" she sang playfully. "I'm waiting on an answer here, it's rude to make a lady wait."

“IT’S FINE!” Blue ducked down, really embarrassed now. The nickname was awfully sweet. Papyrus walked over with Bill under his arms. “SO THIS MATTRESS GOOD?” Orange lazily have a thumbs up.

Shannon laughed and let him be before the poor thing died of blue face. "Okay, then let's get it for you," she said to Orange, offering out a hand to coax him up from the mattress. "And get off it so we can bring it home."

“you can bring me with the mattress,” Orange suggested. “PA-ORANGE!” Blue scolded.

"Orange." Shannon paused and instead of prying him from the bed, used her previously offered hand to try and tickle him from the bed. Her fingers danced along where his rib cage would be.

Orange jolted and rolled off the mattress to escape the tickles, nyeh hehing quietly. Blue grinned happily and grabbed the mattress with his magic.

"There we go, one upright skeleton," she said proudly, grinning. "I'm getting pretty good at wrangling you boys, you know? Might have to make it a full time job. Now, off to blankets!"

“THAT SOUNDS GREAT!” Papyrus exclaimed. “THEN YOU COULD BE WITH US ALL THE TIME!” Blue raced off to deposit the mattresses with the bed frames before coming back and picking out blankets. Blue picked out a blanket covered with racing comets and planets while Orange picked out a blanket with a spiral on it.

Shannon paused. It was definitely something for him to take it so literally. "I-- I'd really love to, big guy, but I have a job and bills to pay," she laughed, feeling her face redden. The blankets weren't what she would have expected for the brothers, though to be fair, they weren't very close yet. "I like them. Good choices, Blue, Orange. You two all set on bed stuff?"

Papyrus sagged. “OH. BUT WE CAN HANG OUT AFTER RIGHT?”

"We sure can," she promised with a reassuring pat on Papyrus' arm. “seems so,” Orange agreed. Blue looked around. “WHERE’S BILL?”

"Oh, shoot, I let go of him for one second--". Shannon looked around and retraced their steps for a good few minutes before sighing and taking in a deep breath. "Papyrus, forgive me for what I'm about to do. Ahem-- WHAT'S THE MATTER, BILL?"

His voice came from a bin full of pillows. “everything...everything is matter.” Papyrus stared at the bin as if it had betrayed him, his children, and everything he believed in. “except energy, of course.”

She grinned and marched over towards the stack of pillows to peer inside. "There's my little meme buddy. Come on, Bill, let's go. Sooner we get done with chores, the sooner you can take a real nap."

“pretty comfy here.” Contrary to his words he pushed himself up. Maybe working so long on the machine hadn’t been his best idea. He just really didn’t want to wake up to find things reset. There was a reason he mostly napped instead of sleeping through the night. Blue and Orange carried their blankets to add to their cargo. “just clothes now, right?” Orange asked.

A hand stretched out to help him from the bin. "Yeah, yeah, we'll make something just as comfy when I take you home," she promised. "And... Let's see, I think so? I'm just the valet here, boys." Blue and Papyrus carefully went over everything. “PILLOWS!” Papyrus exclaimed. “right here bro.” Bill slipped the pillows onto the pile and Papyrus grinned. “NOW WE’RE GOOD!” Blue announced. They paid, took out their phones-and somehow got it all in them.

"And there we go, all set!" Shannon just watched as the group made their purchases and the items literally disappeared into their phones-- It was hard not to stare. "Wow, you guys... Were not kidding. Okay, good to know."

“DO YOU WANT YOUR PHONE UPDATED?” Papyrus asked kindly as the group headed back to the car. This time Orange stole shotgun.

She unlocked the car with a little beep and slid into the driver's seat. "Thanks, Paps, but I don't think human technology is even capable of an upgrade that advanced," Shannon laughed softly. "You ready to be my first mate, Orange?" “aye aye captain,” Orange teased. Papyrus looked rather shocked. “DO YOU NEED A NEW PHONE THEN?” Blue asked in concern. "What? Oh, probably, but I hate the new phones. They're too big for my little baby hands," Shannon laughed, tossing back the AUX cord while she started up the engine. "Plus they're expensive, Blue, don't worry about it."

“YOU SURE?” Papyrus asked. “IT SEEMS RATHER REMISS TO LET YOU GO WITHOUT SUCH BASIC TECHNOLOGY.”

The car started off in the right direction at least, and Shannon smiled into her rearview mirror. "Don't worry about it, Papyrus, like I said-- It's very expensive. I don't really have the need or the money right now."

Orange carefully gave directions as they drove, far more precise than Bill had. “ALRIGHT.” Blue put on This is War by Thirty Seconds to Mars.

She was ever grateful for Orange's competent dictation. Driving to unfamiliar areas was a nightmare. "Interesting choice, Blue," Shannon hummed curiously, "Didn't peg you for this kinda guy." “IT’S GREAT!” Blue enthused. “THE PASSION! THE RHYTHM!”

"I'll have to introduce you to EDM some time," she smiled.

“SOUNDS GOOD,” Blue said happily. Bill accepted the aux cord and put on Saskatchewan Pirates. Shannon's eyebrows raised at the music choice, but she said nothing-- Some of her music choices were garbage. High quality garbage.

“MY TURN! NYEH!” Papyrus happily seized the aux cord. Can’t Stop the Feeling by Justin Timberlake played out, Papyrus and Blue dancing to it. "Oh, good one!" Her hands slapped at the wheel to the beat, head bobbing back and forth in lieu of actual dancing while driving. Shannon sang along to every word and grinned over at her first mate while paused at a stop light.

For just driving to get clothes it was fun.

[tidsoptlmist]

It’s a Boy-Girl Thing - E.D.

Authors note: I’M BACK! for those who care: my holiday was sO MUCH FUN OH MY GOD!! I had the bEST time!!! sadly school has started again and i’m drowning in homework again!!! 

disclaimer 1: over these past few weeks I’ve received so many asks about whether or not I was still gonna update this: the answer is YES!

I hate the feeling of letting you all wait or maybe letting you down when i’m not posting as often as i (and you) would want me to. 

the things is that (and this might come as a shocker) actually do have a life outside of tumblr. I’m in my senior year of high school and I trying to get good grades, so I can get into a good university next year...

I do love writing this and I am so excited to continue writing this story (and more!!) and I will not stop until this story is finished!!! I promise ahha!! I see those messages as a compliment (bc apparently you all like this very much and want to read more) but sometimes they make me feel a little bad/stressed because i feel like I’m let you all down... so yea..... I hope you all understand! 

(what im trying to say is that i dont really mind those asks but at the same time it won't help asking bc YES i will be updating: but only when I’m able to...) (which will be regularly again next week!!!!) (promise)

disclaimer 2: this wasn't proofread so my apologies for any (loads of) spelling/grammar error!!!!! im a dyslectic assclown who cant spell to safe their own life so yea... just a lil heads up

Part 9 一 ANIMOSITY

Summary: Ethan and Y/N are neighbors. And although Y/N is on good terms with Ethan’s twin brother Grayson, Y/N and Ethan loathe each other and are constantly in dispute. Ethan is a populair varsity football player, who likes to be in the spotlight. Y/N prefers to stay under the radar, while reading books and poetry.

Although the constant bickering between the two drives everyone around them crazy - the two live their separate lives peacefully. At least that’s how it was until they wake up one morning and every had changed…

PART 1 || PART 2 || PART 3 || PART 4 || PART 5 || PART 6 || PART 7 || PART 8 || PART 9 || PART 10

You liked sports. You honestly liked being active. But not in late summer, when it was hot like an oven outside and the air humid.

You could feel the sweat dripping down your back, your shirt completely drenched. Your heart beat banging in your head and your legs shaking. You squint your eyes against the intense sunset.

Ethan had made you run around the field all afternoon. He had made you run laps, do pushups, situps and all different sorts of exercises which names you had forgotten right after Ethan said you could stop doing them. After finishing you had dropped yourself next to Ethan on the grass: completely worn out.

‘What are you doing?’ Ethan had asked.

‘I’m taking a break. Actually, not even a break: I’m done! I think if I continue I might get a heart attack or something,’ you breath still went rapidly.

Ethan just laughed while grabbing a water bottle from the cooler he had taken with him. ‘What are you on about? This was the warming up!’ He threw a cold bottle of water next to you in the grass. Your hands quickly opened it and you gulped down half of the bottle before glaring at Ethan.

‘I’m definitely warm…’ You mumbled annoyed.

Slowly you had gotten up from the grass and Ethan had made you catch footballs for an hour. The sun was now setting and your whole body ached. You fell onto the bench at the side of the field.

‘I don’t think I’ll ever be able to leave this bench. I can’t carry your body anymore Eth,’ you sighed and wiped your forehead with his shirt. It didn’t help much: your shirt was completely soak. Ethan stood in front of you, grinning. Silently you watched the sunset behind the hills.

‘Let’s go home,’ you said, getting up. You grabbed your bag and looked at Ethan. He was still smiling at you. ‘I thought you said “you were never gonna be able to get off that bench”,’ he chucked at you. You rolled your eyes, but couldn't help but let a smile creep on your face.

‘We really need to head home though. Grayson said something about a party this morning and I think he really wants to go,’ you say as you walk towards the parking lot where Ethan had parked your car earlier.

‘Who’s hosting the party?’ Ethan asked you, eyeing your in a curious manner.

‘Austin, I think…’ You say, trying to remember what Grayson had said this morning. ‘He said Austin invited you both. And that it would be a big party. Apparently his parents are out of town.’

‘You should go,’ Ethan says, as he opens the trunk. You put the footballs and bottles of water and other training gear in the trunk.

‘I don’t want to go,’ you say in all honesty. Ethan rolls his eyes as he closes the trunk again.

‘Grayson and I never go somewhere alone-’

‘Yea, that’s kinda weird: you two should try to being more independent,’ you cut him off. Ethan eyes you angrily - irritated that you cut him off, but ignores your comment.

‘Like I said, before you cut me off: we never go somewhere alone. If Grayson wants to go: you go with him,’ Ethan says as he walks towards the driver seat. You walk towards passengers seat and get into your car.

‘I don’t like those kind of parties! What do you want me to do while I’m there?! Also; this could only go wrong. Someone will definitely notice something’s off!’ You tell him, trying to convince him why you shouldn’t go to Austin’s party.

‘You can try talking to some girls?’ Ethan suggests chuckeling, but quickly comes back from his idea: ‘Wait, no! Don’t talk to girls! You’ll for sure embarrass me!’

You glare at him. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

‘Y/N, you might have a 4.0 on your GPA but you definitely don’t have a 4.0 in flirting,’ Ethan laughs at his own joke.

‘I’m not that bad….’ You say softly.

‘You know what, I’ll go to the party as well. That way I can keep an eye on you so you don’t embarrass me too much.’ Ethan says. You give him another glare. Annoyed how he won’t trust you.

The field wasn’t far from your home. Ethan parked in front of the Dolan house and you got out of the car.

‘Do you need to pick an outfit for tonight too - or do you trust me to pick one out myself without embarrassing you?’ You snarled at him. Ethan looked unimpressed by your remark.

‘Nah, you’re good,’ he simply said, pushing a strand of your long hair out of his face. In the days that he had been trapped in your body, he had only wore your hair down. It was now that you relised it was probably because he didn’t know how to tie a ponytail with long hair. You huffed and walked towards the trunk where you got the footballs and other training gear.

You walked towards the Dolan house without saying goodbye to Ethan. You dumped the training gear in the garage and walked immediately upstairs. You grabbed a clean pair of undrwear and some basketball shorts and walked towards the shower.

You took a quick shower - the same way you did that morning. This time the towel didn’t drop and you got the underwear on in one go. You stood infront of Ethan’s side of the sink and sprayed on some cologne. You closed your eyes as you inhaled the scent: it was smelled very good.

You walked out of the bathroom and layed down on Ethan’s bed. The party wouldn’t start till 9:30 - so you had a good three hours to kill.

Before you really could think of something to do, Grayson barched into the room. These boys left eachother no privacy did they?!

‘E,’ he exclaimed as he jumbed on the bed next to you, ‘wanna play some video games?’

And before you knew it, you were walking towards Grayson’s room. It was practially the same as Ethan - but with different colored bedsheets and instead of a poster of a motercycle there was a poster of old looking car. You recognised Grayson’s Ford Bronco - altough the one on the poster was red in color. Grayson turned the PlayStation on and handed you a controller.

‘Dude!!’ Grayson yelled at you. You stared at the screen. “YOU DIED” it read in thic red letters.

‘I swear I shot them first! I don’t know how I died?!’ You said annoyed.

‘Why are you so bad at this game?! Did you lose all your skills while haning out with Y/N today or something?!’ Grayson said jokingly, although he stilled looked a little annoyed at you for losing.

‘No,’ you mumbed while restarting the game. Playing video games was more fun then you innitionally thought it would be. Grayson was good company too, chatting away about his day.

‘How is Y/N doing?’ Grayson asks suddenly. You huff, concentrating on the game, ‘she’s good.’

Grayson falls back on the bed, starring at the ceiling, ‘she looks good.’

His comment makes you forget the game and within a second the red letters spelling out “YOU LOST” fill the tv screen again.

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ You ask Grayson, confused. Grayson gives you a ‘like you don’t know what I’m talking about’-look. You gave him the ‘I-really-don’t-have-a-fucking-clue-what-you’re-talking-about-so-tell-me-now’-kind of look.

‘You said it yourself E: she has a good ass!’

You look at him in shock. It was weird hearing Grayson making comments about your ass - well just any ass - without getting red and flushed.

‘I never said that!’ Ethan would never say something like that about you!

‘Yea you did, like three days ago,’ Grayson says while taking the controller from you hands. ‘But don’t worry, I won’t tell Sophia tonight.’ He chuckles at his own joke. He walked towards the PlayStation and turns it off.

‘Is she gonna be there too?’ You mentally roll your eyes. Your energy level for this party just dropped to minus 6.

‘Yea, so let’s have some diner and get ready for this party,’ Grayson says as he walks out of his room. When he’s halfway down the stairs you hear him laugh and say:

‘and don’t forget to bring protection! We don’t want any surprises in 9 months!’

thank you for reading!! leave a comment if you feel like it!! 

please read the DISCLAIMER at the top!!

also: 

- i wrote a short grayson imagine but its not that good should i still post it???

- do you guys want me to make a master list? if so: let me know!! my ask

TAGS : @asapethan , @gabrielle-stark & @coconutethan here you go babes!!

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

how to keep yourself together during uni semesters in australia:

im not gonna lie: over the past 3 years at uni, i have never kept myself together. so, im probably not the right type of person to give anyone advice on how to keep yourself “together” at uni lmao. but i felt like doing it, since im close to finishing so here you go, people:

class/subject and degree advice:

- if you’re not doing a double degree (which will probably give you four or five subjects to do each sem, and a full 4-5 days at uni each week, like some of my friends), stay home on your days off. take those days both to relax, and also fill yourself in to do some of your readings (although i’ll admit i only started the “doing my readings” thing this semester after two years of ignoring them, lol whoops.) this will help your stress levels a bit (hopefully) bc at least you know what the fuck you’re talking about in class and can actually say something during your tuts/lectures.

- if you’re doing a single degree or even a double degree (again i know some people who’ve done it with double degrees), and your full load of 4 or maybe 5 subjects is stressing you the fuck out, drop down to three units per a semester, if you want to actually keep a full load for certain things. yes, it will make your degree go slower in most cases, but not as slow as going part time. it will obvs make your load a tad lighter (if you’re a full-time student), and it’ll free up your days spent at uni. it will give you fewer deadlines to worry/stress about. 

on another note, go part time if you want to/have to. i met one person at a careers fair this year who’d been at uni for five years doing her commerce degree with just one subject a semester bc it gave her less stress and plenty of time to actually work at her job.

- go to your faculty’s/school’s help desk to find out whether your course progression is right. also book meetings with the head of your faculty whenever you can; according to the head of the students bookings are open or wherever possible in your timetable. doing this lets you know whether you’re progressing with your course in the right time-frame, or right time-frame for you. remember, these people are there to help you. this saved me hours of worrying throughout my degree. 

- TRANSFER DEGREES IF YOU HAVE TO: if you feel out of your depth, or completely disinterested in your degree, transfer from it. in some cases (mostly if you’re in the same faculty and the degree is a flexible/general one) you can easily get the first year subjects in transfer credit. this is what i did in first year, when i realised that i felt very out my depth, personality-wise and for other reasons, in the bachelor of communication and media studies in 2015. i knew, after one semester of it, that it was not what i wanted to study.

I realised that forcing myself through marketing and management subjects and studying blogging at uni just bc i had a tumblr- yes, that was my kind of ridiculous and super misguided reason for picking the course, believe it or not- would “kill” me, (like obvs not literally) but it would drain tf out of me if i continued w/ it. but  luckily, since it was in the same faculty, all i had to do was do an extra subject in spring sem in 2015 (bc degree changes required you to have 24 credit points in a semester to transfer at my uni for most courses), and that sem sucked, but i got a years worth of credit in my degree, so i finish one semester earlier.

- for classes in a single degree, try and find your ideal amount of days at uni. my ideal is three days. i almost had the opportunity to have a two day week at uni this sem, bc the timetable gods were almost good to me. but unfortunately, the timetable gods were assholes and managed to let a two hour tut for one class (editing) on tuesdays ran through my US literature lecture. but i also didn’t really want just 2 days at uni, bc i knew that i probably wouldn’t be fucking productive at all in the 3 remaining days i had off during the week.

- go part-time if you have to, no matter whether you’re on a single or a double degree. do your degree on your own terms.

- don’t listen to your parents spiel on your degree or what majors/minors to do. same goes for running your subject choices by your parents. 

- or if uni is really, really getting you down, you can defer for six months and go back later. (also, for mental health, see a councilor/psychologist either from your uni or outside of uni, i started doing this after a mental breakdown in second year). 

- on feedback from your professors/tutors: okay, so. i’ll admit here that i’ve become the asshole student that literally only gives a shit about the number grade, rather than the quality etc comments that the professor (usually) gives back to me after they’ve marked my assignment, bc i don’t really have the heart to read what they’ve written etc. but, like. actually read their feedback... or listen to it. 

if you have an odd professor that likes to give audio feedback (one of my philosophy profs did this, and no. i didn’t listen to it on either assignment, particularly bc it was my least fave subject that sem and bc i had a drama with the essay that lost me like 20% of my grade for that subject), listen back to it and see what they say on your (presumably, i have faith in y’all) well bullshitted essay. their feedback is valuable. also don’t be afraid to approach your tutors for feedback either.

- on asking for help/advice on your assignments or the subject in general from your profs/tutors: DO THIS. of course, it’ll just be general guidance in their consultation hours or via email, but, don’t be scared to ask them! it might boost your marks a bit or help you clarify your essay’s argument or something like that. i was too terrified for the better part of my degree, and then too stubborn to ask for help from my profs/tutors and i think that’s why my marks and my mental health got kinda shitty. idk how to ask for help. but then again, idk how many people actually do this in the courses i did. but y’all do it.

for the general side of this, they can help you by giving you extensions (if they’re not an asshole) or whatever to help you sort your shit out. this is something i never did. but do it when you need it.

- on the topic of marks, they don’t matter. but don’t try and settle in the “p’s get degrees” mindset... even though i say this whenever i get a final mark and it’s a pass. i aimed for a credit average tbh, marks wise. i’m dead average lmao. but then again, i’ve never been a straight-A student, born to graduate uni with like high class honours or the like.

general uni life and life advice:

- GET YOUR P’S OR BLACKS (i.e. GET YOUR DRIVER’S LICENCE Y’ALL), if your family circumstances permit it or if you’re motivated enough, before you get to uni. it’ll open up so many opportunities on campus (if you don’t live on the campus and you live far away from it). and also other ops outside of uni. (but then again you might not bother driving to uni everyday  bc like uni parking, depending how it is at your uni, will always be a fight for spots.

- although i said earlier to use your days off to do some study... also use them for self-care and like life admin meaning the following:

face masks

actually take a looooonnnnngggg fucking showers y’all. the shower is the one place you’ll actually fully relax while you’re at uni. also it’s a good place to mentally plan and map out your essays etc.

yes, netflix

BUY A KINDLE (if your budget permits ofc). although it was a big cost on the outset obvs (its like $200), it was the best investment for me. i saved a fuck ton of money for some subjects, bc the books were either free or like $20-$30 cheaper on my kindle and not anywhere between $20-$40 for some texts in the uni shop. like, textbooks for english lit/creative writing or even philosophy (sometimes) etc subjects, can amount in costing to $200 or more in total for buying separate texts, just like a single, average business/law/nursing/science textbook.

read books from outside of your prescribed texts, and get totally engrossed in them if you can. i did this in first year with the complete tomorrow, when the war began series and the ellie chronicles (it’s sequel trilogy) by john marsden. and yes, i completely ignored by readings for these books, bc i hated like 90% of my uni texts. but i’ll admit that it made uni a tad more bearable, though.

if you have free days, do not go into uni. use them to catch up on sleep. or do my next point.

apply for jobs. maybe you’ll be lucky to get one and learn how to balance study with work. also it can keep you sane, money wise. something i didn’t get to have during these last 3 and a 1/2 years. but you’ll also get to know how hiring works, in general.

make yourself a fucking study timetable. this will help you get an idea of when you’re set for study. and i know, i know. it’s so hypocritical of me to suggest this bc i never bothered to make one for myself anf instead went with “i’ll study when i feel like it”......... which, um, barely ever happened all throughout uni... until this sem. lol whoops. try and stick to your timetable.

if you can, delete you fucking tumblr. 

COFFEE! COFFEE! COFFEE! MAKE THIS BEVERAGE YOUR FRIEND.

if your uni has a bar, don’t avoid it. you might make friends there. i was alone at uni for a vast bulk of the time, so i avoided the bar and mostly stayed in the library.... which didn’t give me much time to make friends.

if you make good friends at uni, talk to them often, so that you can coordinate some of your classes/tuts with them and so you can exchange not w/ each other to save time come exams. it’ll also save your ass in some classes where the prof passes around the roll in the lecture and doesn’t really check the attendance

also try and pick subjects that have recorded lectures, those fuckers save your ass come essay writing time etc.

if you’re doing literature/creative writing etc subjects, read some of your prescribed texts in the uni break- in either the november-march break or the june/july break. yeah, it’ll drive you insane bc you’re reading for a class in the holidays, but, fuck. it’s saved my ass a couple of times with books that are anywhere between 200-400 pages long (e.g. wuthering heights, lady chatterly’s lover, the grapes of wrath, any of shakespeare’s plays etc etc) giving me either a lighter reading load bc I’d finished the book during break or I’d left a few pages near the end of the book, but had read the bulk saving me a fuck tonne of reading time during the heavy part of the sem.

AUDIOBOOKS BITCHES. i only started using audiobooks on youtube when doing shakespeare. but damn. they’re amazing if you don’t really want to be engaged in a physical book sometimes, and great for gauging the tone of whats being said/picturing the characters more clearly when doing literature/creative writing subs. i’ve heard several times that they’re particularly good for commuting to and from uni, if you live far away. but sometimes they can be a bit pricey.

buy secondhand textbooks y’all.

DO NOT BUY YOUR TEXTBOOKS IN ADVANCE, in some cases. i did this for a lot of my subjects, and some times one to two of the texts changed each year... or in one case, THE WHOLE FUCKING READING LIST CHANGED. LITERALLY, and i’d spent like $200 buying the books in advance. but also, i got to read some good books by accident. don’t waste your money. but if you can find them cheap (like old editions in other fields obvs, that students are selling, buy them if you hella need the book)

take lunch in to save money on expensive campus food. but on that same note, don’t forget to spoil yourself with some of the nice food on campus every once in while.

also for lit/creative writing subjects, go to your local op shop or thrift shop to find some of the older books and get them for like $2 or 90cents instead of the fucking $15-$30 that your uni will have you sell your soul for.

Feel free to add more!!! and defs for other fields! 

[sneaky-mermaid-renegade]

Claire-voyant Chapter 1

So here is my first youtuber ego story thing. I think its bad but my friend says its good \_(’_’)_/. Either way I sincerely hope you enjoy!

I would like to thank @retro-remix for being my editor since im horrible with words and @markiplier-egos for a very specific insult near the end of the story XD.

@itsdanimotherfreakingglitter @markiplier-egos @moonysmayhem @sunstar121  @ferociousfangirlofmanyfandoms I believe you guys wanted to be tagged for this? Sorry if im wrong! 

              I really messed this up.  Im sitting on a high ledge trying to evade a pink haired lunatic, a man with bandages over his eyes, some sort of 3-D filter demon, among others.  I must be nuts because the only thing that crosses my mind is ‘why do they all look alike?’ Oh, where are my manners! My name is Claire, and im currently stuck in some sort of large house belonging to some very crazy people.  You're probably asking what the heck is going on? Well, it's a long story, so I hope you have some time on your hands.

I guess it all started a while ago ...

        I hated today.  Today was the first day of the new school year.  All I had to do was make it through the day without catching the attention of bullies, and what did I do? Now i’m running down the streets being chased by kids two grades above me.  Sometimes being the odd one really bites me in the butt.  I look behind me, only to find that they’re still on my tail! I see the park up ahead and skid onto the path.  Surely i’d lose them in the thick woods that lined the park! Right? I rush into the woods, dodging trees and shrubbery.  I can hear them tearing through the undergrowth as I start to get stitches in my side from running, my knee high socks snagging on thorns.  I come upon a cliff and realize I can't get down without harming myself.  When I turn around there they are, Staring at me.  

        “Where you gonna run now, Claire-voyant? Dontcha got something in your “magic satchel?” one of them called.  I grit my teeth at the nickname, and hug my satchel closer.  It had all the things I thought would come in handy, which included, a flashlight, a multi-tool, some twine, and other trinkets I thought would be useful.  Although right now I didn't have much to fend them off with.  I had a pocket knife, but even deep in the woods they would find a way to get me in trouble if I pulled it out on them.  “What's the matter? Didn't see this coming?”  I don't reply as I edge closer to the cliff.  I don't need to engage them when they have me between a rock and a hard place.  “If you dont wanna play our game, you can always play with the bottom of the cliff instead!” the other shouted rushing forward.  I panicked and dove off the cliff.  Not the best idea, I admit, but I wasn't thinking.  The last thing I remember is a bright flash before I hit the hard ground, and everything going black.

        I'm sleeping.  I must be.  My eyes are closed, and I don't feel like getting up so it must be monday.  Except my bed feels like a rock, and my blankets must have fallen of in the night because im super cold.  I open my eyes only to close them tightly again.  It's too bright, and im getting a headache from it.  I bolt up at that.  I am not a morning person so my room always, always has the blinds shut.  This is not my room.  I look around to find im in some sort of studio.  ‘How did I get here?’ I think to myself.  I have vague memories about hitting my head, but I don't remember how.  I think back to the day.  I can remember everything up until school ended, then it gets hazy.  I hear ringing in the distance, no not in the distance.  My ears are ringing.  Wait .  .  .  headache, Light sensitivity, memory loss, ear ringing.  I think for a minute.  Aren't those the symptoms of a concussion? I'm not too sure, but whatever it is it can't be good.  I decide to try and find help immediately.  After all one thing I know for sure is that if not treated, concussions bring pain.  Unfortunately for me, this is the exact time someone walked through the door.         It was a man, wearing pink suspenders, and shock of pink hair.  He also had a silver gun in hand.  That made me worried.  The instant he saw me I bolted up and looked around for a place to hide.  There was two chairs in front of a fake brick wall.  I ducked behind the brick wall and climbed up a ladder that led to a catwalk.  Looking down, I see the bewildered pink man shoot his gun at me while running towards the ladder.  At the end of the catwalk I spied a door and ran to it, while hearing bullets ricochet off nearby metal objects.  I pull open the door and lock it behind me.  I then pull a pair of pliers out of my satchel and break the door handle.  I hear him yelling as he pounds on the door, but I dont stick around to hear what he’s saying.  I skid around the next corner and stop to catch my breath.  As the adrenaline ebbs away I feel a sharp pain through my skull.  My headache is getting worse.  Concussion or not I definitely need help, but is there anyone else here? If so, are they all as crazy as that cotton candy lunatic?         I decide it will do no good if I stay here and do nothing, so I set off down the hallway.  I open a door and slip through into a library.  Its really dark so I pull out a flashlight from my satchel, and I wander through the maze of bookshelves.  Some of them seemed like good books, but the jabbing in my forehead pushed me forward.  Suddenly I came upon a desk with someone in it.  I immediately hid.  I could hear the noise of a pen on paper and muttering, as I slowly inch away towards an elevator I see at one end of the room.  Through the books I can see he has bandages over his eyes.  This should be easy, all I have to do is make no noise and he wont be able to tell im there! I slowly walk across the floor.  Im a foot away from the elevator when I hear him talk.  “The Host believes you are hurt.  The Host will forgive you for sneaking around his library without his permission if you go get treatment. ” I stood planted where I was in shock.  How did he even know I was there? Then the cotton candy lunatic walks in, and we lock eyes.  This gets me moving.  I sprint to the elevator and press a random floor.  The elevator slams shut just as he runs up to the door.         The elevator door opens to a dark room.  It looks like some sort of office, with a desk in the middle of the room.  I walk over to the desk only to find papers strewn about it.  I pick up a newspaper clipping.  “Three people killed at Markiplier Manor. ” it read.  Before I had a chance to read the article the door opened to reveal a man.  I think anyway.  He was completely monochromatic with overlapping images of himself in blue and red.  Like as if someone had drained all the saturation from a photograph and added a 3-D filter.  Panicking, I ducked behind the door as he opened it.  He closed the door and walked to the desk.  He sat down and began to work on whatever papers that were there.  He hadn't  seen me.  He hadn't seen me! This was my chance! I carefully crept to the doorknob, keeping a watchful eye on the man.  At one point he looks up and sees me.  We both stare at each other until I break the silence by throwing the door open and bolting down the hallway.  I look behind him to see him speed walking towards me.  Why he wasn't running? I don't know, and I don't care because it gave me a big enough headstart.  I frantically look for a place he won't find me.  I look around and find a high shelf with potted plants next to a window.  I clamber up and pull up my feet just as the monochromatic man walks up.  I hear him dial someone on his phone.  “Tell everyone to be on high alert for a young girl. ” I hear him say.  He ends the phone call and walks away.  I lean my head against the window.  After all that the adrenaline has worn away again, and i'm left with a blinding headache.  The coolness of the glass takes away the edge of the pain, so I stare out the window.           Outside I see a beautiful garden, filled with trees, flowers and a pond.  On the other side there seems to be another place.  It's a lime green manor of sorts, with blue window shutters and a blue door.  Many people walk by, putting me on edge, but they always seem to pass.  I must be crazy because instead of being scared all I can think about is why they all look similar.  Like, they all wear the same face.  Are they twins? No there are at least 12 of them, maybe more Is there a word for 12 twins? Is it possible? If not what are these guys? Looking down at the passing people.  I spot the black and white guy, the bandage guy, and the pink carnival guy, but also new people.  There is a normal guy in a tux, a guy wearing robes and has a peanut butter beard, a doctor, four news cast guys, four robots, and a guy with a skateboard and a tank top.  

*time skip brought to you by doritos*

        I don't remember when I fell asleep, but I woke up to someone trying to grab my foot.  “What the-!”I screamed and pulled it up from where it was hanging over the edge.  Looking around I found that all of them were gathered around my hiding place.  I could barely think with my headache, but one clear thought I had was ‘I am so massively screwed!’ The monochromatic man cleared his throat.  “We would greatly appreciate it if you could get down from there. ” he said flatly.  “Why? So you can attack me, you desaturated demon?” I called down.  He didn't seem very pleased at my remark but said nothing.  “My diagnostics indicate you are already damaged” the robot in the blue shirt muttered.  I pulled out my pocket knife.  “Yeah, and I don't feel like getting ‘damaged’ even further!” I said slowly, clenching my fist in pain.  The regular guy in the tux spoke up “I hope you didn't ruin any of my plants up there!” The demonic 3D man knocked him upside the head.  “Thats not whats important right now!” he sneered.  That got me mad.  I wasn't thinking very straight with my headache, but this guy seemed nice.  Trust me when I say I can tell these things.  So I chucked my pair of pliers at him.  “Leave him alone you hot topic wannabe!” I shouted.  He lunged for me, but the man with bandages held him back yelling “The Host holds Dark back with all his might, just as Claire passes out from her concussion!”

And then everything goes black.

        I’m asleep again.  I’m sure of it this time.  I'm on a soft bed with the blankets pulled up, and i’m hugging my pillow.  Except it's still very bright.  I sit up fast.  The one in the doctors coat is at the end of the bed.  I inch back in the cot.  He hold up his hands.  “Its okay! Jeez, I won't hurt you! In fact im very glad you woke up! We were all very worried. ” he spoke softly.  I stare at him.  “Worried? You guys were chasing me! I was shot at!” I yelled.  He flinches.  “That was probably Wilford.  Look I only want to patch you up and send you home.  Dark isn't very fond of you after you called him a ‘hot topic wannabe’!” I mess with my blanket for a bit before saying “I don't really have a home. ”

[saltyslack-toast]

#KnockTheBook : Anne Frank

“The nice Anne is never present in company, hasn’t appeared one single time so far, but always predominates when we’re alone. I know exactly how I’d like to be, but, I’m only like that for myself. And perhaps that’s why, I’m sure it’s the reason why I say I’ve got a happy nature within and why other people think I’ve got a happy nature without. I am guided by the pure Anne within, but outside I’m nothing but a frolicsome little goat who’s broken loose”

I knew this book exist since I was in elementary school it was on the 6th grade I guess. I saw this book in one of the notability book store (re: Books and Beyond) in kinda so-so Bandung Mall (re again: Istana Plaza). I read the behind book preview and my curious ass was really intrigued, that time I didn’t know wtf is holocaust and my English skill was so poor, I mean like still but now its getting better right?????  My 11 years old wallet was penniless, so I didn’t buy the book,  that’s ok though because book wasn’t the main source of my happiness and I don’t really read much books that age. Many years later, there was BBW Bandung in 2019, and I’m so excited since I started to read quite a lot of books after I’m in college and just like that, I found a gem I’ve been wanting for since I was starting my puberty and now I’m at the edge of my puberty era (STILL COULDN’T MOVE ON FROM MY PUBERTY DAYS, PLEASE CHECK THE PREVIOUS POST OF MINE OR I’LL KILL U! Never mind it was a trash anyway). I’m gonna review this book in a way this book relating my life, because I SWEAR TO GOD Anne Frank is me in 1942 indeed.

Okay let’s cut the shit off of the personal history attached to this book, cause no one cares, no one probably read this master of shit.

The title of the book is “Diary of A Young Girl: Anne Frank” written clearly in the book’s grayish cover and it has a picture of queen Anne herself writing on her diary I suppose?? So it basically Anne frank writing her story and someone took a picture of her posing like she was writing the story and the picture became the cover of her story that she wrote when someone was taking that picture, got it?. The book is published by Wilco Publishing Book in 2013 in Mumbai, India. The book’s price is written on its cover, it was 19.95 in US Dollar and converted to Rupiah approximately worth RP 326.569, please note that I convert this price when USD 1 is worth RP 16.300 (fuck you corona). But don’t worry, if you are going to buy one in BBW the price is 50% cheaper than the original one, omg someone take me to BBW RIGHT.NOW!.

For those who dumb in history but insist to read this history-biography kind of book (WHICH IS STRANGELY CONTRADICTION, like dude u suppose to have good grades in history class if u like this kinda book, but whatevs I don’t judge), chillax there’s gonna be a short sum about what���s happened in WW II and the origin short story of Hitler gon’ mad with his bonkers political party. Also, there is a little summary about Anne’s previous life before she starts writing her diary in that crazy era she’s living. This book is literally her diary, I said diary, it means u could see her recounting her daily activities in a writing book (Except the fact that she named her diary with Kitty and consider it as her friend).

In this book, you are going to meet plenty bold characters. Here I describe few of ‘em that quite memorable for me. First is Queen Anne herself duh! She’s fucking THAT BRIGHT, I mean she was 13 when she wrote the story of her life, loves to read books, emotionally instable just like a mad teenage typical but she really has very unique perspective of how she depict the whole condition when she was in hiding. Second is her fucking family duh!(2), her mummy is weirdly kind of remind me to my mom FOR REAL, both of them were as problematic as her youngest daughter, sensitive, and caring as regular moms out there. Daddy is totally a sweetheart and kind of hard-working just like most of the Jews I guess?? And Margot which is Anne’s older sister, you know that golden child in the family who always be the spotlight in your big family gathering? Yes she is one of the kinds. Not only Anne and her family that is pretty intriguing, but there is also one little family which also joined Anne’s family in hiding, that is Mr. Van Daan Family and all of their dramas *applauding* that is caused by Mrs. Van Daan’s deportment (She’s quiet funny for me though) . There is still a lot amount of characters that is also involved in this book, but you can read the book by yourself its good honey trust me its good and worth it.

I think for the first time I managed to look serious in previous paragraph right?

What’s very interesting to me is how Anne and her mom fighting could be very relatable to all of us. The peak of these fighting dramas was on Friday, April 2nd 1943, when Anne refuses to have her mum took prayers with her, I would say that was truly heart breaking moment. You know the time when you had a huge fight with your mom and you feel so miserable because you disgust the situation where no one was there for you and all you can do is to blame yourself because you love your mom and realized that she got nothing wrong, and what you did is  self-loathing all days long, as her mom said,

“I don’t want to be cross, love cannot be forced”

I’m on my fucking tears for reading that sentence, perhaps people that has lots of problem with their life might be understand exactly how it feels, for longing to just vanish from the world because die in all likelihood would still make people around to be distressed because of you? (OMG Ana, u really need stop exposing yourself!). However, after all the fights with her mum, Anne figured out that it’s only the matter of unpleasantness and misery rebounding all the time. She learned that it still much better for hard words on paper than to be carried along with her mum’s heart (it’s a pro tip y’all!).

“Leave me in peace, let me sleep one night at least without my pillow being wet with tears, my eyes burning and my head throbbing. Let me get away from it all, preferably away from the world!”

           Anne was hiding for 761 days, of course many things happened and her relationship with Peter (the only son of the Van Daan’s family) is one of the cutest story I liked. Peter was 3 years older than Anne, in my vision he’s the type of nonchalant chap, yet very sweet inside. Started with Ana’s frustration to be alone, ended with having another person other than her family to be talked to. Peter and Anne, after they were close to each other (because they weren’t really get along together at first), they spent most of their times in the attic which is Peter’s basecamp in the annex, talking about life as a teenager and their complicated family before the life in the annex. It kinda remind me of how surviving life becoming the point of how we see each other’s color, Anne had become comfortable to talk with Peter about all her difficulty and so otherwise. Anyway, their fucking love story gonna prompt you to the nostalgia of young love in mid school.

“Already this morning I noticed that peter kept looking at me all the time, not in ordinary way I don’t know how, I just can’t explain……. I made a special effort not to look at him too much, because whenever I did, he kept on looking too and it gave me a lovely feeling inside...”

It’s not over yet, there’s going to be a lot of scenes that giving you goosebumps which cause by a burglar, yes not a ghost, but a fucking burglar, and other shits that would give you a nerve because Anne’s diary also described how the current war situations going (IT WAS SO INTENSE F U HITLER ROTS IN HELL U DUMBASS). The war was not only happened outside the annex but also inside, the war over making noises when everyone’s sleeping and the use of a little table in afternoon between Anne and Mr. Dussel, I perceived it quite hilarious!

. That’s probably a glance of how this book is so intriguing for me. The perspective of Anne Frank of everything sometimes could be so naïve but also relating to my life as well, even until today. Especially during this corona outbreak which has becoming the pandemic, I’ve stay at my home only for 39 days but already feeling sick even for an introvert and antisocial like me could be that JADED, so right now y’all bitch imagine being Anne Frank have to stayed in a hiding for fucking more than 2 years with exactly the same annoying people every fucking day. Nevertheless, if you guys interested to read this book you can buy it in BBW which available in Tokopedia on 27th April until 3rd May this year, so please don’t miss the chance! (to be noted that im not having any relation to BBW, im just so happy that this bazaar coming up into my life). And also you can check the official website of Anne Frank House in www.annefrank.org, there’s a lot of information you could uncover about Anne and other people in furthermore and the visual of the hiding they have been living (IT’S SO MUCH COOL BRUUH).

I think that’s it, I really had no idea how to review a book, this shit just basically me mumbling my opinion about the books I have read. I hope my writing is getting better than the previous post (even I thought this trash was a degrading quality of mine). And a bit information, I finished and posted this writing in the time of corona virus, it was so hard to everyone enduring all the negative impact from this pandemic on our life, so please if you’re lucky enough to  still be able enjoy all the fortunes, please help those who badly impacted of this pandemic and I. BEG. YOU. TO. STAY. AT. YOUR. FUCKING. OWN. HOME. If you’re still strolling around for unimportant purpose and not even using a mask, im literally gonna kill you bitch!

So yeah, that’d be all. Thank you for read until this much guys!

*me talking to non-existing audience*

Xiao, see you in advance!

[jassieajoc]

Dim

I can still remember the very first time I had an anxiety attack. It was a morning on the way to school, I was with my kuya and our driver. I was still in 3rd Grade that time and I can still remember the sudden anxious feeling, It was like the whole world was swallowing me alive. I can still remember myself being so confused. I didn’t know what was happening to me, I was doing okay and the next time I knew I was being paranoid. I felt shitty that day. That day something grew in me. Something foolish and dark. And I didnt know that that something would be the start of my fucking life.

The first time I hurt myself was when I reached High School. Freshman year. Still so clueless of the world ahead of me. Still so innocent of the things I havent tried yet. So eager to try. So naive to care. I was having so fun but deep inside I was lost. I was scared. I was too ignorant that I forgot to think that there would always be a consequence. You see, thats the downside of having fun. The downside of being so happy. There would always be a fucking consequence. I got so insecure. I got so selfish. I thought my family didnt love me anymore. I thought I was going so bad that I became mad and then I got rebellious. I started cutting myself. I tried drinking alcohol. It was the start of losing myself. Sophomore Year came. I was doing okay. I wasnt as bad as I was. But I was as lost as before. The sad nights were still there. I got called names. Bitch. Slut. I got called names for being too friendly. For trying to distract myself from my evil self. Now im back again on hurting myself. This time, I would stay up all night thinking foolish thoughts. I would cut myself again but this time I cut my legs so that its easy to hide. I did foolish things in school again. But it was the kind of fun that makes you forget you are sad. I was doing okay after that but im still lost as ever.

The first time I had a suicidal thought was when I was still 11 yrs. old. Following the first time I started hurting myself. I had it all planned. I would hang myself and leave my suicide note below me. I already even wrote the fucking note when my mom went inside my room and saw it. And it was the first time I saw my mom, broken. I broke my mom. After it happened, people knew about it. I was more ashamed when they told me I was being stupid. They thought I was just fooling around that time. That I did it to have the things that I want. They told me I was just being spoiled. That Im too young to take things seriously. Too young to feel sad. Thats when I started being careful. Every time I feel lonely and sad, I would keep it all to myself. Scared that people might tell me im stupid again. I dont wanna broke my mom again. I dont wanna be a burden just because im thinking I really am a burden.

It was Junior Year when I got called names again. This time it was more hurtful. Sometimes they would tell it to my face. Sometimes just by the look from their faces I would already know —“what a bitch”. Maybe I was really a bitch. Maybe they were right. Maybe they’re not ones who were insecure, maybe I was. I started blaming myself. “Stop fooling yourself” “You’re not good enough” “You dont have the right to feel bad. You’re the one who’s doing it to yourself”. Then that was the time i realized, I have the shittiest self-esteem ever. Ive tried a lot of things this year. Lots of firsts. Crazy, fun, dangerous, and shitty things. I also started making myself look good. Feel good. But in the midst of all that, Im still losing myself. I was lost than before. I wanted everyone to love me. I wanted them to notice me. What the hell am I doing? “This wasn’t me”, I tell to myself. No matter how hard I try to be better, self-hate always wins. I was still hurting myself during these moments but this time it was quite different ‘cause a friend knows and im glad that despite all this negative things, someone cares. Up until this very moment Im still thankful for that friend. You know who you are, and God knows how grateful I am to have a friend like you. I couldn’t remember some serious (negative) things during Senior Year. It was a smooth sail. But not the smoothest ‘cause i still had fights with my ex boyfriend. I got so worried about my grades. I was stressed doing schoolworks. But to add it all up it was a great year. So great that I thought I was doing okay. I thought I had overcome that feeling. But little did I know, it was just hiding at the back of my mind.  

The first time I tried killing myself was when I reached College. Funny how the older I get, the more serious it became. See when I said I thought I was doing okay? Wrong. Little bitch was just resting. Waiting to attack me. It was gone for a year but the moment it came back, it was stronger. It was all over me. Now that Ive been carrying this bitch for almost 6 years now I think its time for me to give it a name. Lets call it, Dim. Why Dim? Well you see, the word dim means having a limited or insufficient amount of light, seen indistinctly, perceived by the senses or mind indistinctly or weakly. And dim is the perfect word to describe what im feeling all these years. The feeling of darkness. Dim wasn’t really that strong at first. He was quiet. He was as if trying to be friends with me. It was my first year of college so I was busy doing homeworks. Trying to figure out how college life works. First sem done and I thought I became friends with Dim already. Until he betrayed me. My boyfriend that time and I broke up. My whole world was shuttered. I was so down and Dim was the only one who was always there with me, so I let him take over my life. That was the time when I started avoiding people. I refused to go out, I stopped going to my classes. I was so scared. 2nd sem was a blur. A complete blur. Summer came and it was… okay. I guess. It was the start of fucking up my life. Walwal dito, walwal doon. Landi doon, landi dito. I was sooo lost that I forgot to have some respect for myself. All I can say is, that was the wildest summer that I had. I bet ya’ll waiting for the part where I tried to kill myself. Then here you go. January 2017, I had the worst anxiety attack ever. It was so bad I thought I was going insane. I called the suicide hotline but guess what they told me? THEY TOLD ME TO GO TO THE NEAREST HOSPITAL. Great. There I was crying hysterically on my bed. Alone. There I was wanting to end my fucking life and ya’ll gonna tell me to go to the nearest hospital? Crazy. So yeah, I had the pills on my hand when I thought “Am I really gonna end my life just because Im scared? Just because I didnt know what was happening to me?” Then I called 911. They asked me whats the problem and I only told them one word, “suicide”. They asked me who and that was the moment I broke down, I told them, “ako po”. I can hear them panicking and then there was silence on the other line. Then an another woman talked to me. I told her everything I felt that day and she told me nice things to make me feel better. We had a good talk and I was crying the whole time. She somehow convinced me that suicide is not always the answer. I owe her my life. Fast forward to March 2017, I got sick. I got bacterial infection —not STD,  from someone whom I loved so much. For the second time, my mom cried in front of me. For the second time, I saw my mom broken. I broke my mom, again. I became lost more than ever. I was so ashamed of myself. I was so angry. Why do I always fuck up? Ganyan na ba talaga ako ka bobo?

The second time I tried killing myself was 2 months later, I started falling for this guy. Who lied to me. I was a mistress the whole time, and I didnt know. My mom eventually knew about it because the wife was a pyscho —Sorry not sorry. I disappointed my parents. AGAIN. Only in a span of 2 months I was a disappointment, again. You see, Dim was winning this time. He was already bigger than me. He was all over my room. He was all over the building. He was all over me. That was when I took the pills. I can only remember myself falling asleep and the next thing I know I was at the hospital. After 7 years of dealing with that bitch Dim, I was finally diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder. After 7 years of trying to hide the pain, my parents finally knew about it. After 7 years, my friends finally realized that I wasn’t fooling around. I wasn’t being overdramatic. There were pros and cons to this situation. Pros, they finally knew about my depression so they were overly understanding. I felt free. It felt like nothing is holding me back anymore. It felt like I finally won over Dim. I felt stronger than Dim. Cons, they finally knew about my depression so they were overly protective and hella paranoid, thinking I might blew up in any moment. Even though I felt free and stronger than Dim, I can still feel his presence. I still feel weak. Ive been seeing my doctor every 2 weeks now. Im taking meds. People are helping me. Months have passed and I thought I was really okay now. I thought I had it under control until 3 months later, I can feel him all over me again. It seems like the pills are not working anymore. I started keeping secrets from my doctor. I started telling lies to my family and friends just so they wont worry about me anymore. Im even back on hurting myself. I cut my wrists and legs. I tried overdosing myself again. Twice this time.   It gets worse everyday. Its seems like Dim knows my weak spots now, he knows where and when to hurt me. I keep blaming myself even on the smallest things. Sometimes I think, what if Im going insane? What if Im never going to be okay? I dont even know anymore.

I didnt write any of these so that you’ll pity me. I didnt write any of these to make ‘papansin’. I didnt write any of these so that you’ll know my story. I wrote this so that all of you people who are reading this can understand. I want you guys to understand that depression is never a joke. Depression isn’t easy, it never was. I want you to understand that even the smallest things can hurt a person a thousand more. I want you to understand that depression isn’t just a bad day. It is a never ending battle between you and your mind. Depression isn’t just being tired because you had a shitty day. It is a different feeling piling up until one day you cant deal with it anymore, you’ll blow up. Depression isn’t just being lazy. It is the thoughts and the paranoia that makes you feel so tired you can’t get out off your bed. It is the heavy feeling that sinks you deeper, makes you not wanting to wake up, hoping you can sleep the sadness away. If you know someone dealing with depression, help them. Support them. Sometimes, presence helps. Just being there for them helps. Even a simple hug can make them feel a little better. Listen. Dont say anything. Just listen to them and hug them.

This is for the ones who fought and never survived, Im sorry. Im really, really sorry. Wherever your souls are right now, I hope you now have the happiness you pretend to have. The happiness you truly deserve. For the ones who are still struggling from their demons, I am here. We are here. Its okay to cry, its okay to lose your shit but sweetie, just remember to never ever let your Dim beat you. You are stronger than him.

A small act can change a person’s life. Right this moment, somewhere, someone needs your help. Ask. Because sometimes, you can either save a person’s life or be a minute late.

And right now, you’re too late.

[hey-hamlet]

BNHA AU Ideas : Happy Famlies

Also on AO3!

TL;DR: This AU is exactly what is sounds like. Everyone gets a happy family. 

Feat. Dadmight, and his sons Izuku and Tenko, Big Bro Dabi with his little bro, Shinson and his Dadzawa.

allmight n inko end up dating and tenko n izu are brothers

dabi and tenko are third year ua herocourse students when izu and the others join

tenko is a soft sunshine boy cause izu rubbed off on him a lot

dabi wants to be an underground hero so he'll never be like his father

todoroki takes the entrance exam so inasa and hitoshi are recommendation students

izuku kills the exam because he starts ua being able to use full cowl 5%, breaking allmights record with a whopping 130 points

because consider dabi, shouto, izu, tenko and hitoshi all singing karaoke together, dabi has a tambourine and tenko is violently shaking maracas

izuku and inko dont know toshi is allmight, but tenko and toshi are terrible liars

the first time toshi meets izuku its just tenko presenting him saying "you gotta give it to him dad"

izu is only 5 n still broken up about having no quirk, toshi says he might just be a late bloomer while tenko nods

toshi sneaks izuku his quirk when he turns 7, izuku wakes up n accidentally punches a hole in the ceiling, he n katsuki make up cause izuku has a bomb ass quirk even if it does break his bones

he and inko just think he was a late bloomer cause his quirk was so strong. tenko and toshi highfive

seven year old izuku walking back into his house like mom i broke both my arms again :(((

katsuki actually helps him work out the flick thing

"it breaks my arms!" "then use less you dumb fuck!" "oh yeah actually thank you"

they’re so used to shouting criticisms while sparring that they still do it after they enter ua

when they spar at the sports festival mic can’t get a word of commentary in bc it’s just a constant slew of

“kACCHAN I TOLD U TO STOP LEADING WITH UR RIGHT”

“SHIITY DEKU IF U LAND LIKE THAT UR GONNA BREAK UR LEGS”

dabi n tenko the third years can hear them in their own stadium. tenko is cheering softly, dabi has a heart attack when he sees the walls of ice

izu has a massive handshapped scar on his wrist from when tenko saved him by pulling him out of the way of a car

he doesnt mind it but it makes tenko sad so he wears a lil cuff over it

tenko snuck in to watch the entrance exam he n toshinori are cheering quietly, the other teachers just sigh

izuku broke allmights record for points scored in the entrance exam but hes still scared he failed

tenko wants to s c r e a m

USJ ANGST TIME

starts as normal students enter, villains arrive kurogiri has an ear piece and is talking with afo directly, some of the 8 prefects goons are there too

hitoshi used his quirk on kurogiri to find out who they are, but is targeted after that and the villains know not to respond

the students are scattered, its izu/tsuyu and hitoshi. they do the whirlpool thing w/o the sitcking, hitoshi instructs them to tread water and not to move

hitoshi is nearing quirk overuse, tsuyu is shaken, izu is pretty much ok

aizawa is fighting the villains as normal, the nomu arrives

hitoshi tries to mind control the nomu, kurogiri attempts to direct one of the nomus punches to hitoshi, aizawa cancels the portal, severing one of the nomus arms. its grows back, aizawa is beaten

izuku charges forward, fighting the nomu with a higher percentage of full cowl than he can safely use but they are evenly matched

todoroki shows up, cant help because the two are moving so fast he cant aim his quirk and not hit mido

he and hitoshi keep kurogiri busy

before allmight arrives, dabi and tenko do, after seeing tenya running towards the school

izuku can barely move, over using his quirk to the point that he has countless micro fractures and the nomu has landed a few punches, and he took others to protect aizawa

tenko yells at dabi to grab izuku, kurogiri mentions that his master killed tenkos family and hes pissed

he cant stand up to the nomu but shouto makes an opening and he and dabi try to damage it as best they can, shouto has to hold izuku down to stop him from joining the fight again

allmight arrives, quickly dispatches the nomu, turns on Kurogiri

so tenko, allmight and a shaky izu are all facing down kurogiri while afo is trying to convince him to keep fighting

reinforcements arrive and kuro nopes out

as soon as the portal closes, izuku collapses and tenko n allmight rush over, shouto is grabbing onto dabi and hitoshi is trying to get aizawa to respond

hitoshi, crying, has to ask dabi to pick up his dad because his arms are shaking to bad hes scared he might drop him

tenko has no gloves anymore and he cant touch izuku and hes just lost, shouto wraps an arm around him and hitoshi n they cry as dabi takes aizawa and allmight takes izuku to recovery girl

aizawa n izu in the same hospital, hitoshi tells him what izuku did n aizawa fucking, breaks out of bed like a jackass to call him a problem child then fucking limps back

less depressingly, happy families dabi and tenko do "get help" from Thor Ragnarok

"gET heLP hEs BUrnINg UP"

aizawa : "kids that movie is like 240 years old"

izuku : "so... you know it then?"

aizawa: "fuck"

nighteye and gran torino are izuku and tenko's terrible uncles

he stars school at 5%, internships is 10%, camp gets him up to 15% so hes around 25% at the eri rescue

ochako being a terrible influence on kirishima

“uraraka i like katsuki. what do”

“push it down”

“what”

“pUSH UR FEELINGS Down”

also happy families shouto actually interns w nighteye n izu because dabi said he was an ass so no death thanks

one person asks izuku what his quirk is

he pauses

"aaaaaaaaaa"

"hm"

"my mum has minor levitation and my dad is quirkless"

izuku pauses again.

"wait"

"wait im not toshis biologically"

"waiT Who WAs My FirST Dad?"

shouto thinks inko has an affair w allmight then married his secretary but izuku met toshinori through tenko so he just lays down on the floor and screams

shouto’s brain is going to explode one day

consider tenko and izuku looking soft and pure but you turn around and suddenly you dont have a wallet and your food is gone

happy family izuku and kastuki were eachothers first kiss but in a dumb ass way

izuku was like "i need to ruin my frist kiss so the next one will be better"

"wow me too, you seem like the worlds worst option!"

"cool!"

they both almost gagged afterwards

tenko walked in on them violently scrubbing their lips

“wow katsuki who was ur first kiss”

bakugou stares off fondly into the distance

“deku :))”

"it was fucking terrible" wistful sigh

izuku, blushing happily: “id never do it again”

izuku: "yeah i scrubbed my face until it bleed so none of my skin would be tainted"

first week of 1a, someone asking izuku if he and katsuki are/were dating so izuku asks ochako to launch him into the sun

no matter how many people they date everyone always insists that katsuki and izuku are dating each other

izuku is actually dating shouto but no one believes him for some reason

dabi and hitoshi find it so funny

please consider dabi being the frontrunner of these rumours, like these random first years will come up to izuku while he’s eating lunch with shouto and they’ll be in t e a r s

“wHY ARE YOU CHEATING ON BAKUGOU SENPAI?”

izuku starts crying

shouto, totally deadpan: "i thought our love was real, izu-chan"

izuku wheezes

they have a katsudeku fan club and shouto’s the mascot

dabi is in it. hes a full hero at this point but nezu gave him a pass so he could attend

they have weekly meetings

it’s dabi, shouto, kirishima and like twenty first year girls from every class

shouto, in a deadpan voice: “good morning girls today i saw katsuki and izuku sharing bread. discuss”

kirishima is one of the most popular fanartists

tenko loves the meme but looking at his brother and bakugo “dating” makes him deeply upset so he breaks in to decay all the art on the walls once a week

he crowds shouto in tears one day

“how are you okay with your boyfriend and your classmate being the subjects of such horrid art”

shouto, deadpan: “it’s just a prank bro”

izuku falls asleep in the common room and toshi carries him back to his room and has to call tenko to unlock the door for him. tenko was in his own dorm on the other side of school.

he sprinted

iida the good boy finishes his essays the week before and hands them in a day early

izuku, the hot mess, procrastinates by training until he cant feel his arms and doing any other subject work than the stuff due, stays up till 4am to finish his essay and doesnt go back to sleep cause its time for his morning run

they get the same grades

no one knows izuku is a hot mess

Dabi is like izuku but he doesnt study hes just depressed

Tenko finishes his the day before but he gets izuku to read it over

shouto does his essays in class

aizawa wants to be mad but he remembers him mic n tensei distracting the teachers for as long as they can to violently finish their essays

“katsuki why didn’t you finish your essay”

“i was making oreos from scratch sensei”

"fair, give me some and you can hand in it wednesday"

he bribes every single teacher into giving him extensions and no one can refuse him bc his extra spicy curry is to die for. he maybe sometimes he helps deku get an extension too but if he does that’s no one else’s business but his

izuku acts so soft w the others "oh isnt kacchans food so good? "

but he climbs into through katsukis window

"bitch whats the recipe"

izuku banging on katsuki s window at five in the morning: “kacchan give me ur fucking curry recipe you promised it to me three years ago”

bakugos hands shake as he tries to call aizawa

“i see u calling sensei kacchan, put the phone down and no one gets hurt”

he has one of katsukis limited editing all might figurines in his hand

“give me the recipe and all might lives katsuki. it doesn’t have to end this way”

shouji, stressed and sleep deprived walks into bakugou’s room just to see izuku menacingly trying to force his way in while bakugou is crying

[jiminnieblues-blog]

get to know me tag(s)

yoo so recently i’d been tagged to do three get to know me tags, and i dont want to make three separate posts for each so im gonna combine all of them in this one post which is under a cut bc……….its really long LOL anyways i was tagged by @lovhobe, @elementaljimin, and @protectkimtaehyung thank you so much guys!!!!!!!!!!! <333 im glad i got to know yall better asdfgh

im tagging @jiminslipgloss​, @jxxminmols​, @kismet-soo​, @baeklipse​, @sonyeondn​, @neckatie​, @kihyunswife​ and @bulletproofbookworm​ you guys are welcome to do however many of these you want lol i just didnt wanna tag people separately for each tag

i was tagged by @lovhobe​ to do the 20 questions one tysm!!  instructions: answer the 20 questions and tag 20 amazing followers you would like to get to know better. (lol yall already know i aint tagging 20 people)

name - zara

nickname - um a few of my friends like to call me zar-zar and i get called zaro by my family a lot

zodiac sign - cancer

height - 5′ 3″

orientation - straight

ethnicity - pakistani

favorite fruit - pineapple i think

favorite season - fall

favorite book series - idk um i’ll be that person and say harry potter lol i cant rlly think of a good series rn but my fave book is the kite runner 

favorite flower - i dont rlly know a lot of flowers but i like roses and the vibrant colors that orchids can have

favorite scent - fresh laundry

favorite color - purple

favorite animal - zebras?

coffee, tea, or hot cocoa - hot cocoa

average hours of sleep - five

cat or dog person - i like both but i think i like cats a little more

favorite fictional character(s) - this is hard bc i used to be in a lot of fandoms asdfghjkl draco, red & gold, percy, bakugou, link and i have more from all the drama i watch but the list will be to long lmao !!!

number of blankets you sleep with - three

dream trip - idrk?? somewhere out of the country i guess i dont leave the us unless im going to pakistan lol

blog created - i had to check my archive lmao but i made this blog in oct of 2015

number of followers - :^)

NEXT i was tagged by @eternaljimin​ for the get to know me tag tysm !! there werent any instructions just.........answer the questions lol.

a - age - fourteen lmao.........................

b - biggest fear - tight spaces

c - current time - 10:35 pm

d - drink you had last - water

e - everyday starts with - getting out of bed??

f - favorite song - im saying this just bc it just came out but RUMOR BY KARD IS A BOP WATCH IT AND SUPPORT THESE LEGENDS  

g - ghosts are real? - idk my dude

h - hometown/country - us

i - in love with - jimin?

j - jealous of - i was just watching sbs kpop star and there are these two kids who are eleven yrs old and are so talented i wish i was talented you feel 

k - killed someone - why would someone even ask this akshf ofc not

l - last time you cried - i think i cried today lmfao

m - music you last listened to - RUMOR BY KARD

n - newest thing you bought for yourself - i think the last thing i spent my money on was cheez its from the vending machine @ school ajksf

o - one wish - i wish my life went smoothly and that i wasnt mentally ill?? lmao

p - person you last messaged - @jiminslipgloss​ :)

q - questions you get asked often - since i wear the hijab i get a lot of questions abt that i also get questions on my rbf like ‘why do you look so depressed all the time’ asfkjkj

r - recommended (movie? series? book?) - i just remembered that i read this book called this blinding absence of light and it was rlly good a little explicit but it was a damn good book i rlly wanna re read it 

s - song you last sang - i dont rmbr but it was probs a track from hamilton lol

t - thanks, last person you said thanks to - the waiter that gave me food @ a restaurant i went today 

u - underwear youre wearing - not sure what this is asking but im wearing a purple one rn???

v - vacation, your dream vacation - i dont rlly have one lol

w - worst habit - idk if this counts but i lose my temper a lot? is that a habit? if not i tend to space out/get distracted a lot esp in class

x - x rays youve had - my teeth, my ankle, a few of my fingers

y - your favorite food - rice !

z - zodiac sign - cancer

for the third one i was tagged by @protectkimtaehyung​ for the seventy questions tag tysm!!!!!!

do you have a good relationship with your parents? yeah

who did you last say i love you to? um listen im rlly not tryna be edgy but i seriously dont rmbr the last time i said ily irl

do you regret anything? i regret a lot of things lol

are you insecure? unfortunately

whats your relationship status? single

how do you want to die? asdfghjkl um a painless death i think

what did you last eat? rice

played any sports? i used to play tennis and swim but now i do kung fu

do you bite your nails? no

when was your last physical fight? i kind of have......to fight in kung fu so like when i last had class lol

do you like someone? no

have you ever stayed up forty-eight hours? yeah

do you hate anyone atm? i tend to hate a lot of ppl lmao?

do you miss someone? uhm i dont think so

have any pets? no :// i used to have parakeets but i gave them away and i just recently found out that they passed away :(((

how exactly are you feeling right now? i was kinda happy but since its sunday night im starting to feel shitty bc i dont want to go back to school tmrw afjh and im rlly tired

ever made out in the bathroom? no

are you scared of spiders? yeah lol

would you go back in time if you were given the chance? this is an interesting question bc it depends like if i were given just one chance then mayyyybe id go back and change smth i did that was stupid but if were given the chance to go whenever i want then probably not bc thats way too much pressure/commitment to have a power like that sdhfa 

where was the last place you snogged someone? i havent snogged anyone lmfao

what are your plans for this weekend? sleep

do you want to have kids? how many? i dont want to have kids bc childbirth doesnt seem appealing to me but idk i might change my mind when im older/more mature

do you have piercing? how many? one on both ears

what is/are/were your best subjects? the only classes i have solid as in are art, lit, and w4p lol math and science are def not my thing

do you miss anyone for your past? from my past, yes

what are you craving right now? sleep

have you ever broken someones heart? in first grade some kid liked me and i embarrassed him in front of his friends to get him to stop liking me so yeah i was wildin in first grade

have you ever been cheated on? no

have you ever made a significant other cry? no

whats irritating you right now? my tiredness? 

does somebody love you? oh geez i hope lmao

what is your favorite color? purple

do you have trust issues? yeah

who/what was your last dream about? um i dont think i remember v clearly

who was the last person you cried in front of? my mom

do you give second chances out easily? i dont think ive been in a situation where ive had to but i probably wouldnt 

is it easier to forgive or forget? wow um can i say neither lol

is this year the best year of your life? definitely not

how old were you when you had your first kiss? havent had one

have you ever walked out naked? no

favorite food? rice

do you believe everything happens for a reason? hmmm probably idk man i dont think too hard lol

what is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? scrolling through this hell website

is cheating ever okay? no

are you mean? i probably dont come off as mean online but im not gonna lie i def get mean irl

how many people have you fist fought? i dont think ive been in a situation where i had to punch someone?

do you believe in true love? ive never experienced romantic love so i wouldnt be able to say but probably aajkf ive read/watched too much and analyzed too many relationships for me to say love is real but...........love isnt real yall

favorite weather? when the sun is covered by clouds and its a little chilly

do you like the snow? ive only encountered snow like twice so idk but i feel like i wouldnt like it very much lol

do you want to get married? idk man

is it cute when someone calls you baby? pet names arent rlly my thing lol 

what makes you happy? sleep...........im rlly tired rn 

would you change your name? no

would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? this is an interestingly phrased question lol. well i dont rmbr the last person i kissed so idk

your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? wow that would be rlly sad LMAO but id turn him down and tell him to get better standards wtf

do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? well they wouldnt be considered my friend if i couldnt act like myself around them so yes

who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? i just texted my friend so we can play video games aslfkh 

whos the last person you had a deep conversation with? literally the same dude from the last question lol

do you believe in soulmates? um no i dont think so?

id there anyone you would die for? my family/friends

thanks everyone again for tagging me !! <33