#starting with some smaller stuff to ease back into posting

[kinstein-art]

few random one piece scribbles from various corners of my sketchbooks 😅

[arachniee]

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅ “I’m Their Cure!”

༘✿ Synopsis: Unfortunately, you’ve fallen ill. You didn't tell your lover as you didn’t want to be a burden, so you decided to just let your friend take care of you. And trust me, your boyfriend was NOT having it.

༘✿ Notes: this has been in my drafts long before i created my other series. I needed to get the dust off this and post it lol. This is just purely chaotic fluff that may or may not have grammatical errors. Characters; Lucifer, Vox, and Adam.

‧₊˚✩彡 Lucifer M.

Let’s be honest, this man would have NO idea until you’re coughing up your lungs. It’s either he’s really fucking dense, or you’re just that good with hiding your sickness. He’d literally think that everything was normal until the day he didn’t see you at the hotel at all.

He’s asking everyone his eyes land on, asking them if they knew where you were. Most would just shrug and say no (lies), but just as when he was about to lose hope, his daughter saved the day by telling him.

You were at your friend's apartment?? Why?? That was genuinely the first thing that came to his mind. As he knocked on the (hopefully) right apartment door, he was conflicted when he saw a man with just a t-shirt on with a wet towel in his hands.

His mind went in all directions except the right one. His mind filled up with (horrifying) negative thoughts as he stuttered and asked if you were inside. And when the man in front of him said yes, he was instantly red.

He literally started attacking your poor friend with his much smaller frame, accusing him of doing things to you. The commotion was so loud that you heard the cat fight from your room, thus urging you to sluggishly make your way to them.

You immediately pulled Lucifer away from your friend, who surprisingly didn't have much scratches, as the little man in your hold visibly brightened upon seeing you. But his gaze soured just as quick as he glanced back at your friend.

“Leave.” He’d order, still fuming (adorably). “But this is my apartme–” And in the end, you managed to convince your friend to leave for a few hours. Apologizing to him as you tried to calm your lover down.

After the whole fiasco has died down, it was your turn to glare at Lucifer, who in return, chuckled nervously. Though, he'd try to defend himself, saying things like “who knows what he could have done to you if I didn't arrive on time?”

Once you explain everything to him, that feeling of uneasiness turns into guilt. He feels stupid. First, he didn't know that you were sick, second, he was so stupid that he wasn't able to take care of you properly (even though you didn't want him to know).

Despite your sickness, he's clinging onto you, mumbling sorry’s. He doesn't care if he gets sick in the process, he WILL take care of you now. You will go back to the hotel and stay in bed. You will not lift a single finger at all. You will be treated like royalty (which you practically are, at this point) and he’d be doing all the work for you.

Hungry? He's got a snickers. Thirsty? Here, have some apple juice. Having trouble sleeping? He's literally right beside you on your bed, snuggling close.

In the end, after you got better, it was his turn to get sick. And he's expecting you to reciprocate what he did when you were sick! (He just wants to be pampered and babied by you.)

‧₊˚✩彡 Vox.

Look, he’s a busy man. So hiding the fact that you were sick would be a piece of cake since you don’t meet that often, even if he desperately wanted to. But he does notice once you finally spend time together after a few days. He watched as you coughed and struggled to do things you’d usually do with ease.

He’d be very concerned about your wellbeing, despite not wanting to admit it, at least not so soon. Since he always has to be somewhere doing something, he’d get his most trusted employee to bring you stuff. Flowers to make you feel better? Right at your doorstep. A new, comfier blanket? Already on your bed, neatly folded. And of course, he never forgets the medicine.

He thought that sending gifts and stuff was enough for you (it was), but he was (not) wrong. At least that’s what he first thought during his visit when he finally had time. His eye twitched in irritation as he watched one of your ‘friends’ help you eat the soup, their hands carefully bringing the spoon to your lips.

He’d cough comically loud to try and get your attention. Come on, he’s literally standing in your doorway and yet you’re pretending as if it’s only you and your friend in the room. Once you finally notice his presence, you’d thank your friend before asking Vox why he was visiting you since you knew he was busy.

He refused to speak on that matter until your ‘friend’ left. Your friend understood (thankfully, Vox thought) and left, telling you to call them if you ever needed anything. Your lover would mock your friend behind their back by saying “ ‘cAlL mE iF yOu nEeD AnYthiNg’, bitch, who do they think they are? I can take better care of you by myself than they ever could.”

He’d instantly ask you tons of questions, why didn’t you tell him you were sick? Oh, you didn’t want to be a burden? Bullshit. He is not accepting that lame excuse. Unconsciously, he’d be pouting, and of course, it isn’t a matter of time until he throws a tantrum.

It took almost exactly 2 minutes before Vox was making a scene, dramatically conveying his hurt that you preferred some other bitch’s care than his. Isn’t he enough for you? He’d be making comments about how your sickness might have affected your brain and your taste. Not just in food, but in people.

What? You prefer some cheap fucker’s company during the time you’re vulnerable more than his? No, we are not going to talk about how he’s busy most of the time. And we are also not going to talk about how he literally threw a tantrum just to visit you.

He’d still be pretty cranky about everything, it’ll take quite the effort for him to consider forgiving you. No, kisses, hugs, and all of your attention when you’re better isn’t enough. He wants, no, he needs everything you have to and can offer.

‧₊˚✩彡 Adam.

At first, he doesn’t catch on that you’ve been more sluggish lately. He would complain about how you might not be doing your job properly, though it’s just a facade of his growing concern. But when you brush him off, saying that it’s nothing, then he’d reluctantly disregard the topic.

Once he finally realizes that you didn’t go to work (where he visits you quite often, well, more like everyday), he’d ask almost everyone that he encounters. Lute (who is tired of his bullshit)? Emily? Sera? Everyone will be questioned about you.

When someone finally gives in to his pestering and tells him that you were resting in your home, he’s sprinting there faster than the speed of light. He’d literally be banging on the door, screaming at the top of his lungs for you to let him in.

You’d groan and cover your ears with a pillow as your beautiful friend, Molly, laughed beside you. She sat upright as you tossed around trying to drown out Adam’s yelling. After realizing that he wasn’t leaving or stopping any time soon, Molly eventually asked if you really didn’t want her to open the door. You’d groan even louder, to which she’d chuckle at.

She was so sweet, cooking for you and making sure you drank your medicine. As she grabbed the empty bowl on the coffee table, she smiled as you finally gave her the green light to open the door for Adam.

She always found the two of you cute, the most adorable couple ever! And as soon as she opened the door, Adam zoomed past her, ignoring her presence completely. Once you finally come into his sight, he’d be scolding you about not telling him that you were sick, did you honestly think he wouldn’t be able to help? Don’t underestimate him, damnit!

He’d only ever acknowledge Molly’s presence as soon as she came into the room with medicine in her hands. To say that he’d be pissed was an understatement. He was (cutely) fuming, not only did you not tell him FIRST, but you also have someone else taking care of you?

Jealousy brewed more in the pit of his stomach as he watched you thank Molly and drink the medicine with a smile. Psshh, she just gave you pills! What’s so special about that? If you wanted medicine, you could’ve just fucking asked him and he would’ve given you a whole dozen of boxes!

The whole time Molly was there with the two of you, he’d literally comment (complain) on everything she does, whether it was to help you or not, her every action will be judged by him.

Though he still tries to help, asking you if you want a drink or a snack, making sure you’re not uncomfortable and other stuff. Don’t get him wrong, he’s still pretty fuzzy about everything. And he’d make his feelings known after your friend has (finally) left.

He’d immediately bombard you with questions that you would rather not answer. He’s being a dick, yes, but that’s because you acted like one first! Why would you not wanna tell him? He’s your lover! Do you not love him anymore?

You’d need to make it up to him because explaining that you just didn’t want to be a burden to him is not enough of an explanation, apparently. He’d make you promise that you’d give him ALL of your attention and time next time, and by ‘next time’, he meant when you’re not sick. Because he ain’t coming any closer than 5 meters with you. Get better first!

[i-literally-cant-with-this]

SFW version ::: Dating THE fucking Katsuki Bakugo

Part II (NSFW version ::: Dating THE fucking Katsuki Bakugo)

A/N ::: I'm absolutely feral delulu (god I hate that word but it's really all that can describe accurately how insane I am) for Katsuki right now.

C/W SFW ::: Brief language. Sweet Katsuki on date with ChubbyF!reader // you // y/n, new relationship, testing the waters, sweet Katsuki. Sorry. Had to say it twice. Soft touches here and there, sweet kisses. NSFW stuff will be posted soon.

I edited this many many many many times. So if I missed anything gross, lmk.

Thinking about a fourth date with Katsuki that goes really, really well.

He picks you up in his Black Jeep that has green and orange interior (yeah, it sure does). It's a stick, too. And the gear shifter cap is a custom made piece; a black grenade. Anyway, he gets to your house and walks up to the front door wearing those fucking sexy ankle pants that fit him just perfectly. And a long sleeved polo shirt with that little alligator on it. The collar is popped up around his neck. Not because it's cold or anything. He was told by a friend of a friend of yours that you thought it was incredibly sexy that he wears it like that. Too bad his friend was fucking with him, though. You don't think it's unsexy. But you do have a hard time taking your eyes off of it. Just wondering why he wears it like that.

He holds his arm out for you as you open the door of your place and see him standing there. Looking all sorts of frickin’ handsome. You take his arm with your much smaller hand and he stops for a second to double-check your door is locked up tight. He smiles and tells you that you can never be too sure. There's a lot of crazies nowadays. It warms your heart at how considerate he is about your safety. I mean, he IS a hero. It's kind of second nature for him to be like that. But it's still sweet, though.

You're walking to his Jeep and he opens the door for you and holds your purse while you buckle up. He makes sure your feet are inside the vehicle so he doesn't slam the door on your freshly painted toenails. He'd feel like an absolute asshole if that happened. Like, how do you come back from something like that when you're just starting out dating? Nah, he knows better. He makes his way around to the driver's side, still holding your purse. He hops in, he doesn't climb in. He's so damn tall that his legs allow him to ease his sweet, tight little ass right onto the seat. Handing you your purse, he buckles up too.

His feet get into position; on the clutch and the brake, and he starts it up. The radio was on. From what you heard, it sounded like a motivational/self-help thing. You heard the words 'believe in yourself and you can accomplish anything. You … deserve to be loved, too.' He moved to turn it off so fast that it looked like he was beating it up. 

You put your hands on him. One on his shoulder, the other on his thigh, and leaned over to give him a single, self-denying kiss on the cheek. He smiled at you and you know his eyes were screaming thank you for not saying anything about this.

On the drive to the restaurant, he asked you about your week. It was hard to catch up with him throughout the week sometimes. He has a busy schedule. Still, you appreciated him asking you about how yours was. You talked about how quickly the time went by and how happy you were about that because you were looking forward to your date with him tonight.

He looked over at you at a red light and put his right hand on your thigh and gave the fat on it a tight squeeze. Your skin filled out nicely in his hand. The light turned green and you immediately  missed his fingers digging into your flesh as soon as he put them back on the shifter. It was just nice to feel his touch after not seeing him for 5 days. Though you talked, it wasn't the same as being with him.

The restaurant he's taking you to for dinner has valet parking. He pulled up to the front and tossed his keys to the valet like some kind of cool guy. It made you giggle. You saw him slip a $20 to the kid as he pulled them in close and told them if they so much as got an extra speck of dirt on his Jeep he was going to rip them a new asshole via their belly button. The kid looked at you and all you could do was shrug your shoulders at them and flatten your lips, nodding.

Katsuki walked around to your side again and stuck his elbow out for you to take. You proudly took it and the two of you walked into the restaurant and were blown away by the fanciness of it. Like, ballgown/tuxedo fancy. You looked at each other and the back at the space around you. Slowly backing away, you asked him what happened. He said he didn't know. Nothing was mentioned about super dress code attire and how do you feel about getting something on the pier?

Honestly, you didn't care if you had to eat peanut butter and jelly in a back alley with a decomposing body. You really just wanted to be with him right now. Though you reconsidered the decomposing body and swapped it for a huge dumpster.

The valet brought his Jeep back. Scratch free, and you two did the whole door dance and he drove down to the water. The lights along the walk were beautiful. Soft and white. It made his usually sharp features fuzzy and warm. You couldn't stop looking at him. At his lips. You wanted him to kiss you. Just one. Nothing too heavy. 

As luck would have it, he caught you looking at him when you thought you were being sly. Without saying a word, he cupped your cheek in his hand and leaned down to give you the one, sweet kiss you had been craving since you last were together.

It left your cheeks red, blood hot, and your body dizzy. Your eyes fluttered at the gentle gesture. He let his lips hover just out of reach for a few seconds afterward. You wondered if he was testing the waters. To see if you'd lean in for more. And oh my god, you wanted to. You wanted to kiss him everywhere. But as this was only your fourth date, you managed some self-restraint. Though you'll never know how you did. He looked so sexy tonight. He looked so sexy every time you saw him. 

The two of you made you way down the walk to some vendors and he ordered for the both of you. Some noodles and toppings you've never tried before. They were so good. You enjoyed your time there with him more than you would have at some stuffy old, high maintenance restaurant. He offered to get you a dessert but you declined.

That set him off. "You not eatin' in front of me or some shit like that? Goddamn it, you're sexy as hell. EAT SOME DESSERT!" But you told him you were still full from dinner and you'd love some dessert later. He blushed at his overreaction. You blushed, too. But for an entirely different reason.

A little later into the walk, you took a chance and reached out for his hand, taking it into your own. His palm was sweaty, and he apologized for being a little nervous. He doesn't date - like, ever. Except for you and it's still so new that everything is just a bit scary. Despite his sweaty hand, you held it anyway and laid your head against his bicep as the two of you walked further down the pier to look out over the water.

You walked all the way out to the end and leaned over the railing, dropping a few pebbles into the water that you'd picked up along the way.

"Be careful, don't fall in dum- I mean, just be careful." He almost called you a dumbass but he caught himself. It's an adjustment being around you. One that he's growing to like more and more the longer this almost ruined date goes on.

"I won't fall in," you laughed. "And even if I do, I have the best hero there is to rescue me." You blew him a kiss after you said that and he started toward you, catching it.

"I think you lost something, just now, miss. Does this belong to you?" He put his arms on either side of you and leaned over to kiss your cheeks. So. Softly. You found yourself leaning into him just to get more pressure from his lips. Pulling his head back, he looked at you. Bright red eyes looked over your face to read your expression.

"I didn't lose it, I gave it to you. 'Dumbass'." Smirking, you reached up and brushed the hair away from his forehead. "You're getting a little long up here. I've never seen - um, well, I like it either way."

Tilting his head quizzically to the left he held his breath for a second. "You've never seen ... what? You've never seen my hair this long? How long you been watchin' me, woman?" Katsuki put his hands in his pockets and kicked his feet like you told him he was the most handsome, brilliant man on the planet. 

He thinks so, so why not?

It was adorable to watch him, THE Katsuki Bakugo, squirm. And no, you weren't going to let it slide.

"Yeah, ok. So what? I watch - tuh (sounds like watched but you broke the word apart so he wouldn’t hear you openly admit you had been watching him) you. I have watched you, throughout your career. Ok, ok. God! Twist my arm. I look for things about you. Updates ... and ... well, stuff. Ok? I - I've car- been interested in you for some time." You rolled your eyes. "Are you happy now? You got me to spill my g- mmm!"

Katsuki was in front of you in no time. Kissing you before his feet had even stopped moving. His hands rest gently against the deep curve of your waist. He bent at the knees so he could be a little more face-to-face with you. You're still about 6 inches shorter than he is so the kiss had you standing on your tiptoes.

It made you feel like you were in a movie; The tall handsome blonde Pro Hero bending over to kiss the shorter (hair color) haired girl in the flowing dress at the end of the pier built out over the water. The sunset behind you seemed too overkill until the rain-pregnant clouds drowned it out, if you were being honest. But this had been the perfect evening.

Even when it started to pour down rain it was like you had been caught up in a romantic monsoon. It was a full 5 minutes that you stood there. Lip locked. Hands wondering. Hands wandering. It was one of the first instances in your life that everything slowed down. Your first slow-mo moment. And you couldn't have asked for it to be with anyone else than Katsuki. 

Taglist ::: @darkstarlight82 @arlerts-angel @millennialmagicalgirl

[abbyslev]

𝑷𝑨𝑹𝑻𝒀 𝑴𝑶𝑵𝑺𝑻𝑬𝑹- 𝑯𝑨𝑵𝑮𝑬 𝑿 𝑹𝑬𝑨𝑫𝑬𝑹

A/N: hi angels! i wrote this in two days and its probably rushed, so i apologize, but i wanted to post something while i work on some other stuff. as always, feedback is appreciated and i hope everyone is having a good day! ily all!

WARNINGS: alcohol consumption, fingering, bathroom sex, rough! hange, top! hange, hair pulling, mirror sex, let me know if i missed any!

You traced the edge of your cup, staring at the red lipstick stain that was on the cup.

          You didn’t regret coming, you just wish you friend didn’t leave you stranded in the middle of a party. You were familiar with everyone here, but not enough to go up and start a conversation.

           You picked up your cup, taking a small sip. You brushed off the burning in your throat, licking your red lips. “Did your date leave you?” A voice startled you from behind. “Jesus.” You turn around, laughing. It was someone from your old highschool.

       “Date? Oh no, I came with them.” You point at your best friend, who was taking a row of shots with her girlfriend behind her. “Yeahhhh, I'm assuming your DD?” The reach behind you, pouring themselves a shot. “Eh.” You shrug. You watch them as they drink the shot with ease.

       “How’d you do that?” Your eyebrows furrowed, mouth slightly open. “You get used to it.” Hange shrugs, laughing it off. You roll your eyes, shaking your head. “It’s loud as hell in here. Wanna go upstairs?” Hange nodded their head towards the stairs. “Yeah.” You nod. 

         They push open the bathroom door, flipping on the lights. “Surprised it's clean, they usually trash this place.” Hange sat on the edge of the bathtub, taking your drink from your hand. They closed their eyes, holding back a laugh. 

       “What?” You lean on the counter, raising your brows. “This is 95% punch. There’s like…no alcohol in this.” They hand it back. “Okay first of all, you’re not funny. Second of all, I'm not a crazy alcoholic like you.” You drink a bit, setting it down. “I could definitely make you some better shit than that.” They nod towards your cup. 

          “Sure.” You nod. “I remember you used to throw the best parties in high school.” Hange smiled. “That was all her, not me. I just bought the stuff.” You shook your head. “Oh, yeah? And you’d be in the middle of the circle, always dancing on someone. Drunk as hell, too.” 

        You didn’t even really notice Hange. You knew they were played the drums and were top of the class, especially in chemistry, but that’s all you knew. Hange on the other hand, they knew everything about you. They knew you loved getting shitfaced, loved cherry flavored rolling paper, preferred vodka over pink whitney, and hung out with Connie and his crew. 

         “I was not.” You covered your face in embarrassment. “After prom, at Sasha’s house, you danced with a whole bottle while making out with Sasha and then threw up in her yard  not even an hour later, so yeah, you were pretty drunk all the time.”

        “Okay, what about you?” You crossed your arms. “You were all nerdy, always getting everything right in class.” You faced them, pushing your hair behind your ear. “That doesn’t mean I deprived myself of having fun. I was smart and partied all at once.” They stood up, leaning on the wall next to you. 

        “That still makes you nerdy.” You smiled, holding back a laugh. “Well, you always came to school late, all pretty and shit. You always had your lips all shiny and the cutest outfits. You were never in dress code.” Hange approached you. The room became a whole lot smaller. “Are you implying you liked me, Zoe?” You tilted your head, pushing yourself off the counter. Their hands landed on your waist, bringing you to them. 

       “Did I say that?” They leaned in, lips brushing over yours. Their nails dug into the skin of your thighs. “N-no. But you’re acting like that.” You looked up at Hange. “Acting like what, mama?” They grabbed your chin, making you look up at them.

      “Like you wanted me.” You place your hands on their upper arms. “Who said I didn't?” They push their lips onto yours. You were lifted up from the floor onto the counter. You opened your legs a bit, hands running inside their shirt.

       “Fuck.” They push their forehead against yours, hands working on the back of your dress. While you slip off your dress, they  take their shirt off. You lick your smudged lips, eyes lowering down to Hange’s happy trail. You felt yourself becoming more wet by the second.

         Hange pressed their lips to your bare collarbone, sucking and tracing random shapes. Your voice gets caught in your throat. “Come here.” They slide you off of the counter. “I need you.” You whisper. “I know, baby.” They push your back up against themselves. 

       You were now staring at yourself in the mirror. Hange stood behind you, head in between the crook of your neck and shoulder, pressing wet kisses along your body. Your dress slowly slid off the rest of your body, leaving you in your black, lacy panties. They grabbed your thigh, placing it up on the counter. 

        You made eye contact with Hange through the mirror. “Someone’s impatient.” She mumbled against your shoulder as she saw the desperation in your eyes. They slid their hand in your panties, fingers hovering over your dripping clit. “Please.” You watch their veiny hands rub your lower stomach. 

          “You have to be quiet.” Hange placed a cold finger on your aching bud. Your eyes rolled back, a quiet whimper sounding at the back of your throat. “Shhh.” They whispered in your ear, forming small circles. One of your hands sat on top of their working hand, the other held a fistful of their hair, whispering their name while your face scrunched up in pleasure.

        “I haven’t even touched you yet and you’re already so whiny, baby.” They press a kiss on your shoulder blade. Hange inserted a finger inside you. You gripped their wrist, your legs twitching, aching to close.

      “Keep them open, baby.” They whisper,  adding their ring finger. Your back arched as they pumped in and out of you, sucking and nibbling on your sensitive neck. “Fuck.” You choked out, leaning your head back into their shoulder.

        Hange pushed you over. Their hand went from your lower stomach, to a fist full of your hair. Your skin crawled as the cold counter came into contact with you. “Look at me while i fuck you.” Hange pulled your head back. Your lipstick was smeared and your neck was covered in hickies. 

         Hange’s waist pushed you up against the marble even more. Her fingers slipped from inside of you, into her mouth. You watched as they stuck them into her mouth, licking them clean. “So pretty.” Her wet fingers traced your back tattoo. 

         Your whimper, jutting your hips out to let her know that you wanted more. You felt a sharp pull at your head. “Patience.” She tsked. Her fingers slipped in your again, this time from the back, without a warning. 

           “Hange,” You mewl loudly. “Hush.” She watched as your legs closed themselves. She slipped her knee in between, shaking her head. She lowered her lips near your ear,  grunting. Her fingers sped up, a quiet squelch made Hange whisper your name, praising you for how beautiful you were.

          A knock startled you. Your eyes shot open, making your neck snap towards the door. “Hey, you in there?” Your best friend called your name, jiggling the doorknob. “Hange.” You whisper, freaking out. Hange continued to pump her fingers in and out of you, disregarding the fact that your friend was right outside the door and you were clenching around Hange. 

         “You ok?” She called out again.  “Please.” You beg, closing your eyes. Your teeth sunk into your bottom lip, your legs shaking. “Answer.” She nibbled at your earlobe, now facing up at the ceiling. 

         “I-i’m in here.” You manage to choke out. Suddenly, Hange started to toy with your sensitive clit. Your polished nails dig into your arm. “What’re you doing in there?” She asked, her words slurred a bit together. “Uh,” You racked your brain for something, but it was hard when Hange was fucking you dumb from the back and you were close.

         “Fuck.” You moan into your arm, before Hange yanked your hair to face the mirror again. “Tell her.” Hange mouthed. “I felt sick- shit.” Your legs gave out. Hange held you by your waist, watching as you rode her fingers, head against the mirror. 

       “Want me to come in?” She jiggled the doorknob. “N-no! It’s ok, i‘ll be out in a- fuck…” You felt your cum run down your thighs. “minute.” You finished your sentence. “Good girl.” Hange kneeled down. “Okay, well i’ll be downstairs. Find me when you feel better.” You heard her footsteps fade. 

      Hange grabbed your waist, twisting you around. She grabbed under your thigh, placing it on her shoulder. She had a small spider tattoo on her arm you didn’t notice before. She licked up your thighs, pressing a small kiss on your clit. 

      “Hange, please, I can't.” You shake your head. “Yes, you can, baby. I know you can.” She licked you clean, smiling as you placed a hand over your mouth. She stood up, pressing her wet lips against yours.           “Can a nerd do that?” She handed you your dress. You roll your eyes as Hange slips their shirt on. “Call me soon.” They press another kiss against your mouth, shoving their hoodie in your arms, before leaving that bathroom. You look at yourself in the mirror, realizing you needed the damn jacket.  “God.” You mumbled to yourself, getting dressed.

[hmserebusadjacent]

Don't have to be ok

I came up with the idea for this story this morning, and wanted to write and post it within a day to give myself a little boost after a rough start to the week. Reading this back, I realised this story is essentially me projecting my need to be comforted by Emmrich. But I hope you find the story enjoyable nonetheless.

So please enjoy Emmrich comforting Rook, saying that he doesn't have to be ok, that he will always be there for him.

Emmrich Volkarin x Trans Male Rook (Pining, longing, comfort, implied gender dysphoria on Rook's part, cloud gazing).

Word count: 2,677

AO3 link

Rook hadn't been his usual self today. He'd drifted off into the recesses of his own mind so often that each time it felt harder for Emmrich to pull him back. There was so much anxiety stored in the way Rook fussed with his hair or pulled at the fingers on his gloves, all of that energy just pouring out into his aura too.

Emmrich wasn't the only one to notice, of course. Davrin kept on shooting Rook sideways glances and then looking to Emmrich as if he had the answers. For once, Emmrich didn't have many words to give. It was the subtler signs that also gave him pause, like the way Rook fussed with the way his clothes hung around his hips and thighs. The way he had chewed the inside of his lips so much that Emmrich wouldn't be surprised if it was bleeding.

The necromancer couldn't blame their fearless leader for feeling the strain of leadership, helping to keep his team alive and stopping the world from ending. All that would have been enough but Rook also had to worry about not going mad from anxiety, grief, stress, any of the above or indeed every emotion under the sun. 

He couldn't blame Rook for having off days at all. He just wished he knew how to help better. To ease the strain even if he couldn't shoulder any of it. Emmrich did try, he really did. From ensuring Rook slept well, ate well and always being a willing ear if Rook needed to talk to someone about anything or nothing.

It was the least he could do for the man who had given his life purpose, for reminding him that life could be lived with other people rather than with the dead who no longer needed the spark of existence. Rook truly enlivened Emmrich Volkarin, and maybe one day he would have the courage to tell him.

And to tell him that he loved him above all things too. More than he had ever loved anyone before.

And when he held Rook in his arms whilst they hugged, or when Rook linked arms with him whilst they walked, or when they shared those late evenings chatting about everything and nothing over tea, Emmrich knew that this was what he wanted for the rest of his life.

To be his, in whatever form that took. If Rook also wanted to be his? It would be the happiest day of Emmrich’s life if he found out that Rook liked him half as much as he liked him.

When Rook designated their camping spot for the night, Emmrich's heart clenched with just how tired and fatigued Rook looked. Not just emotionally but physically, and the way he dropped his bag to the floor with a final thud made the mage’s heart jump in his chest.

“Will you two be alright setting up the smaller stuff while I have some time to myself?”, Rook asked, gaze almost pleading even as he willed something like a reassuring smile to his lips.

A niggling voice in the back of Emmrich’s mind said that Rook shouldn’t be by himself, even if he needed it. Maybe it was partly his perpetual need to have Rook in sight so that all felt right with the world.

But he also recognised that Rook had done more than enough today. They had walked miles and Rook hadn’t once complained, even with the evidence of his fatigue present in the dark rings under his eyes. If Rook needed time away from he and Davrin to recharge, to remind himself of where he was in the world, then that was what would happen.

“Of course. Do let us know if you need anything, Rook. We’re here for you.”

Rook’s bottom lip trembled at that, as if he might burst into tears and just give in to the reckless abandon of exhausted crying. But instead he smiled and gave Davrin a nod, and his gaze lingered on Emmrich for longer than it had their companion when he said

“Thank you. I won’t be far.”

When Rook had disappeared off with a blanket under his arm, Emmrich turned back to Davrin to find the elf giving him a look he knew very well by this point. All of the others had sent it his way too, and Emmrich felt his cheeks flushing with heat and just how very obvious he seemed to be. Well, obvious to everyone but Rook, apparently.

Trying to push his worries of Rook to the side for a moment (and failing miserably), Emmrich dived into getting their camp set up, casting glances in the direction that Rook had walked off in every so often.

—----

Emmrich managed half an hour before his mind was worrying so much about Rook that he could barely sit still and allow himself to rest. He’d been counting the minutes, every one that Rook spent wherever he was making the mage’s gut clench with nerves.

“Go and see where he is. I think he would appreciate it”, Davrin announced from across the other side of camp, making Emmrich jump as he was pulled from his looping thoughts. That Davrin thought he would be the best one to comfort Rook was gratifying, that other people thought Emmrich himself made Rook feel so comforted and safe. 

He’d never take the trust Rook placed him and the strength he gained from their friendship lightly. If he could always use that power for good, Emmrich would be a happy man.

He also didn’t need to be told twice to go and check on Rook, finding his way to his feet almost instantaneously as the mage’s mind was already far ahead of him planning just what to say to their friend and leader.

It didn’t take long to find Rook, his energy seemingly having given out on him in a nice little clearing in the woods nearby. The clearing was so pleasingly symmetrical, a beautifully wide circle glade filled with all sorts of wildflowers and buzzing bees. In the middle of this haven was Rook, spread out on his blanket, silhouetted by the sun in a way that only made him look more beautiful. Rook looked so at home here, amongst the wildflowers and beauties of nature that he adored so much, one of the other myriad of things he indulged in to help keep himself sane. 

In that moment, Emmrich was visibly reminded of his wish to take Rook to see the gardens of Nevarra City when the lilies in the ponds were in bloom, to marvel at the brightly coloured fish that came up to the water’s surface to snap at insects. If Rook would allow him he would also take him to see some of the gardens in the Necropolis on the higher levels to see the gardens borne of love and kept going by ongoing devotion that Emmrich wished so badly to feel for his own. If Rook would indulge him, Emmrich would tuck a flower behind one of his pointed ears and lead him on a dance in the magelights he would conjure to light their impromptu ballroom. Maybe if he was lucky Rook would allow Emmrich to artfully drape him over the back of his knee at the end of it all, his eyes shining as they both came back together and chanced a glance down at the other’s lips…

“Emmrich? You ok over there?”

Shattered shards of his hopeful visions cracked apart in Emmrich’s mind as he remembered where he was, gaze focusing back on Rook more clearly and the look of soft amusement on his face. Had Emmrich been staring at him slack jawed for a little while then? It wouldn’t be the first time and it wouldn’t be the last.

“Ah, yes! I just wanted to ensure that you were alright. Perhaps ask if you wanted some company?”

The beaming smile Rook sent his way was so utterly bright compared to the thin lipped smiles the rogue had been putting on earlier. Like something had genuinely managed to lift his spirits in the last half an hour and seeing Emmrich again was the icing on the proverbial cake. Whatever the case was, Emmrich was just glad to see the man smiling and looking hopeful again. Maker, he looked pretty.

“You can cloud gaze with me, if you like. Come on over.”

Cloud gazing? Emmrich couldn’t remember the last time he had done that. The last time was probably with his mother, lying down on the ground on a picnic blanket as they both giggled to themselves over heart and nug shaped wisps of clouds. A time before he had come into his magic, even, before the whole world had taken on a different hue and cast different shadows across all of their lives.

“I’d love to!” Emmrich replied cheerfully, already making his way through the tall grass and flowers, trying his level best not to trip over or to disturb the fuzzy lazy bees too much. With every advancing step Rook came into even lovelier focus, a scabious flower to the left of his head making his eyes shine an even deeper blue. It didn’t seem possible that the space could be lightening too, that the rogue was making the sun shine brighter by his very joy at seeing Emmrich approaching him.

By the time Emmrich reached the blanket and the sitting Rook, his heart was beating out a joyous yet nervous rhythm against the inside of his ribs. How the rogue looked so effortlessly beautiful all the time was beyond Emmrich, having decided long ago to simply bask in the man’s magnificence whilst he could.

“Come on then, you”, Rook murmured as he patted the space on the blanket beside him and fuck did Emmrich want to swoon on so many levels. That their closeness meant he was described using such soft words, commanded with such a fond tone of voice. Besotted wasn't enough of a word to describe the feelings Emmrich had for Rook. Maybe there weren't words strong enough.

But if looks could convey even half of those feelings, Emmrich was sure he was showing them now as he gently lowered himself to sit beside Rook, immediately feeling more calm for being in his presence. As he studied the man across from him for a moment, it did genuinely seem that Rook had found solace in this little space. He couldn't take all the credit for this change, of course, but Emmrich hoped that he had contributed a fraction of that ease that Rook now felt within himself.

When Emmrich laid down fully on the comfortable blanket a minute later, he was more than settled in for the pair of them to remain where they were, to bask in their semi closeness where he could easily brush their hands together if they went to point at the same cloud.

But Rook surprised the mage once again by asking an earth shattering question.

“Would you hold my hand?”

Emmrich turned his attention from the sky and was almost immediately disarmed by the fond look in Rook’s eyes, the entire question such an open quest for comfort that Emmrich couldn’t resist. He put his romantic feelings aside for the moment as he nodded, hand inching across the blanket till he could feel Rook’s hand next to his. Emmrich wouldn’t describe himself as a particularly brave man, but the way he gently placed his hand on top of the rogue’s hand and laced their fingers together might be one of the bravest things he had ever done.

And Rook’s smile was more than worth the risk.

After that, it was just a case of both men turning their faces to the sky and watching the world go by. There were a number of clouds available for perusal, all being blown slowly across the expanse by a thermal wind much higher up. A collage of mist and cloud fluff that still couldn’t compare to the beauty of the man next to Emmrich.

Rook offered his first suggestion for a cloud lookalike, pointing upwards and to the left.

“If you squint, that one looks like a nug. I’ve heard that the Divine has all but filled the Grand Cathedral with the little buggers.”

“There’s got to be someone who adores those creatures, I suppose. Lake Calenhad looks a bit like a rabbit if you squint, or so I’ve been told”, Emmrich replied, glad to hear the little huff of a laugh Rook uttered under his breath.

As Emmrich pointed to a cloud to his right, he felt Rook squeeze his hand as if the rogue worried that the mage wanted to pull away.

“That one looks like an Ocularum. Researchers within the Inquisition produced a fascinating paper on them a few years ago”, Emmrich ventured, delighting in Rook’s smile of intrigue.

“I’ll have to look at it one day.”

The two men continued in this way for maybe ten minutes, occasionally lapsing into silence when no new shapes presented themselves. Emmrich was enjoying himself immensely, and it felt good to see that Rook was too. Sure he still had the dark rings under his eyes and his hand lingered nervously near his own hip sometimes, but the rogue did seem to be calmer and more present than he did before. He often squeezed Emmrich’s hand, and Emmrich was all too happy to provide reassurances that he was still there with him and present in the moment.

When Rook had lapsed into a longer silence than the others before it, Emmrich turned his head and found Rook still looking at the sky but with a bit more of a distant look on his face. Emmrich’s heart ached for him, it truly did, and he wanted to be exactly what Rook needed, whatever he needed.

In the end, Emmrich simply said

“Are you alright? You don’t have to be, you know. None of us would judge you for it.”

Rook’s lower lip trembled again as if he was on the verge of tears, the rogue gently biting down on it a moment later to stop it from shaking. A gloved hand went to cover his eyes for a moment as the man took a long, deep breath in and out. He was clearly grounding himself, and Emmrich didn’t want to disrupt that.

Eventually Rook lifted his hand away from his eyes and turned to look at Emmrich once more, a sad sort of resignation in his eyes.

“Today I’m not. But I’m happy to be here with you.”

The man's voice was distinctly wobbly, and Emmrich's heart knew exactly how that feeling felt. That Rook found his presence so comforting, that he was looking at him with such trust and fondness in his eyes was star shattering. That he allowed Emmrich to comfort him, asked him to hold his hand, made Emmrich feel just as safe and treasured in reverse!

Joy beyond description.

“I'll always be happy to be by your side”, Emmrich murmured, deciding to be brave for the second time today as he let go of Rook's hand and opened his arms instead. With something that sounded like a soft sob, Rook was quick to slot himself against the necromancer's side, throwing an arm over Emmrich's middle. With a soft sigh that matched Rook's own, Emmrich gently wrapped his arms around Rook and gave him a soft little squeeze, resigned to the fact that the man in his arms would hear his racing heart.

“I'll always be here, whatever you need. You can always count on me and my affection for you, my dear.”

A delightful giggle from Rook made Emmrich's chest vibrate, and his heart leapt into his stomach as the rogue threw a leg over the mage's own for good measure.

“Thank you, Emmrich. You really are one of a kind, and a true treasure to me.”

If heaven existed on this mortal plain, Emmrich Volkarin would have sworn that this was what it felt like.

[celestial-dreamscapes]

Hihi!

I was wondering if you could do a period comfort for Beel, Belphie and/or Levi? I just love these so much!

Thanks so much!

Another request said: Hello, could we please have period comfort with the twins and Levi as well?

A/N: Hii I’m soso glad you liked the other posts thank youu 🙏🏼 and thank you for the requests!!! :D

Taking care of you on your period part 3

Word count: 1.5k

Warnings: blood mention, fainting, mention of dying

Part 1

Part 2

Levi:

-He very rarely attends class in person and not online, and on one of those rare times you weren’t feeling well so he’s just very confused before you tell him because you keep standing and leaning on the desk which doesn’t look comfortable at all to him

-And it hardly helps you with the pain but it’s all you can really do while you’re in class besides pacing around which you decide to do as well near your desks at the back of the class

-The teacher decides to embarrass you in front of everyone and asks you why you’re not sitting like everyone else instead of coming up to you which makes you feel even worse, and you don’t even have it in you to throw any retorts at them

-Eventually the pain gets really really bad and even after waiting for some time after taking a painkiller it didn’t kick in, so you tell him you’re just going to head back home and so obviously he comes with you because he’s very concerned and even after you tell him the bleeding is normal, he’s heavily questioning if the amount of pain you’re having is really a normal thing for humans

-His room is unsurprisingly a really good distraction considering he has most of the stuff you’d need to be able to stay in there for hours on end (except for proper food, he only has snacks) so once the pain becomes lighter it’s a good place to unwind and get your focus off of the smaller pains

-It also provides light (from the aquarium part) without being overwhelming enough to give you a headache or migraine and it’s the perfect amount of light to still be able to fall asleep with

-He has tons of blankets and I headcanon he has a couple weighted blankets as well and he’d bring them over for you (you could fold a couple to put behind your back and on your thighs to help ease the pain a bit)

-If you’re on the taller side, his bathtub probably won’t be the comfiest considering you’re already in pain and you’d have to put yourself in an uncomfortable position that would put you in more pain and also share the tiny space with Levi on top of all that, so if you’re not willing to deal with the hassle it’s best you just both go to your room and have him carry all the blankets there for you 

-He starts off embarrassed about buying you period products, but he gets over it pretty quickly after thinking about how much pain you’re in and how much effort he’s saving you, along with the fact that anyone who mocks him for it probably isn’t able to get into a relationship of their own

-Overall, he’s really good with everything but there’s a chance he’ll get the wrong product even though he checks your messages a bunch of times to make sure 😭😭 for example, he might get the right size pad but without wings, but he does learn quickly luckily for you

Beel:

-He’s naturally very warm which most of the time is really cozy and nice but during the times when it’s warmer out or when your body is really hot on its own due to the pain it can get a bit overwhelming

-At the same time though you don’t want to distance yourself physically because then everything just feels even more off, so cuddling with the AC on and a fan blasting while you have a couple light blankets covering you are the best, especially feeling yourself drift off when the sleeping conditions are so perfect and he’s rubbing your back

-Has a tendency to be a bit suffocating with his arms when you two are cuddling so you have to squirm around a bit to figure out a comfy position

-Constantly picks you up with no problem (which all of the brothers can do technically he’s just the one who does it the most often) so that you don’t have to move if you want to go to your room or somewhere else. He has no shame in it too he’ll just carry on like it’s the most normal thing in the world and he’ll act like anyone who judges is the weird one instead of the other way around lmao

-Definitely the type to tell you to focus on resting instead of stressing over your schoolwork, since even if you stress it’s not like you’re able to do it anyway when you’re not feeling well (even if it does sound kind of harsh) so he offers to help you write an email to your teachers to ask for an extension on the deadlines because you aren’t feeling well

-Some teachers are more understanding than others, and the latter ones just get mad at you for not having started sooner, and so you’re still worried you’ll get marks deducted if you hand anything in late

-So in the end he does your work for you 🥺 he doesn’t want you to start slacking in your classes because of him but he doesn’t want you to be in so much pain and also be stressing out about something that seems so insignificant to him at the same time, so he decides to just do it for you even if it takes him a while to understand the material from classes he’s not in

-He gets you basically everything while you rest and doesn’t make any comments about you not being productive or anything that might make you feel bad for relaxing

-He’s still constantly hungry (as usual) but he does his best to push it aside so he can take care of you, especially if you’re cuddling and you fall asleep on him, he doesn’t wanna risk waking you up 

-Though he will probably text one of his brothers asking them to grab him something from the kitchen (how likely are they to actually do it though 😭)

-Sometimes when you’re taking a bath to relieve the pain you want pressure on your lower stomach at the same time but it's a lot of effort to keep your hands on your stomach at the same time as you’re trying to fully relax your body, so he does it for you while taking a bath together. If you’re at the stage where you can literally bathe together why would he be shy about touching your stomach if it’s not a problem for you?

Belphie:

-He definitely knows about periods from Lilith, I imagine she’d learn about it after visiting the human world and them both being horrified at the thought, because why is it necessary to make them bleed so often? Why not once a year instead?

-Despite this though I don’t think he’d know too many of the details, and since he’s never had actual firsthand experience helping someone with it, it would take him a while to adjust to the fact that there are so many other problems that come along with getting your period, not just blood 😔

-I’m not sure if this is canon but if it’s not, I have a headcanon that he can put others to sleep so that would definitely come in handy pretty often. You’d be in too much pain to fall asleep on your own and you can’t stay still enough to keep trying so you’re just ranting about it to him and he offers, so obviously you accept and then you wake up a few hours later feeling much better

-One problem that you encounter quite often is him falling asleep on you, which is fine on its own, but after some time it stops being comfortable for you. But he’s pretty hard to move when he’s asleep so you have to fight for your life to free yourself 

-And then all your hard work trying to move without disturbing him (which hardly ever happens anyway) is thrown away because he wakes up as soon as you get out of his grip smh

-A good thing about Belphie specifically when you’re in pain is that he’s down to lie down and sleep literally anywhere so if you think that lying down on the floor in the middle of his room with a heating pad on your stomach will help your back pain and cramps he’s down, doesn’t even take any convincing from you he’ll just do it

-Even though he still feels a bit awkward helping you and isn’t always sure what you need him to do, he starts to put in a lot more effort in accompanying you everywhere after a while

-More specifically, after you told him about how you were once home alone and the pain was so bad you thought you were genuinely about to die, and no one was answering your messages either. And about the time you forced yourself to go out even though you weren’t feeling well and nearly passed out

-Both stories really concern him so he starts going with you literally everywhere when you’re on your period because he’s slightly paranoid that you’ll end up being left alone somewhere and you actually will die from it, and he’ll have no idea until after it’s too late 

[tottwriter]

Hi, what's an ML in the context of your novel writing month post and how do you suggest finding these alternative communities? My attempts at google searches only result in NaNoWriMo official stuff or other websites talking about NaNoWriMo even with quotes

Hi! ML stands for "Municipal Liaison" and it's the term for what used to be NaNoWriMo's regional organisers. Back when it started, NaNo was a much smaller and more close-knit event, so it had a very informal site structure. It started as a group of friends, then became a mailing list, and then when it spread to the size of a website, some people volunteered to be MLs to liaise between the original team in San Francisco, and other parts of the world. It was sorta...we would pass on official news, and host physical meetups during November to encourage people to write! I unfortunately don't have a full list of which regions continued as independent writing groups, but you might start by looking up the Country/State/City where you live for writing groups, or "november writing meetups" or such. Some are also specifically rebranding as "novelist" or "novelling" groups, to distinguish from more general writing groups. I know of several groups in the US and UK, and there quite a few elsewhere around the world, but unfortunately the biggest thing we have lost with NaNo is the ease of finding each other. As it is, there were multiple attempts to form a database, but we haven't really seen one of them take off in a big way just yet. I hope that it can happen once we get to November and people are more active. That sense of community was honestly what I loved most about NaNo, and what inspired me to help organise my local region.

I wish you luck in finding your fellow Novellists! If it would help, I'd be happy to put together a list of regions I know of, so that people can see who's still out there.

[sichore]

Also 23 for the otp prompts!

tagging @nightklok because they asked for this prompt too! it got away from me a bit... like 2K words a bit.

23. Write about your ship supporting each other through a hard time.

MagJam | mention of MagCharles | 2271 words | post s2. ep. 19 Black Fire Upon Us | non-explicit sex

Mordhaus is attacked and the first thing Magnus feels is worry, sick and gnawing in his gut as he tries to go about the shop as usual. Are they okay? Did they make it out? And the anchorman goes on to say no, they did not. 

All the money and fame in the world didn’t stop them from being infiltrated, invaded like the micronation of shit that they are, and now Charles is dead.

Charles is dead.

Time passes in a haze, swirled and blurred images of life moving on regardless. Nairi notices and asks what’s wrong and he can’t bring himself to tell his daughter the truth. “Nothing. I’m fine. How was class?” And Nairi’s furrowed brow is a mirror of his own, but eventually she stops asking, her hands no longer hesitating as she tells him about her day.

Charles is dead and the hate and resentment that’s built up over the past decade is numbed by a wave of grief so deep that Magnus finds himself visiting the liquor store more and more because he can’t bring himself to touch the bottle of arak in his cabinet. He’s far from sober, but he usually doesn’t let beer bottles collect in his recycling bin this fast. They gather like his regrets and dreams, empty and dusty and sometimes broken before he tosses them out, and then the pile grows all over again.

Two weeks go by. Maybe a month. And then Jimi comes back.

“Oh, hey!” She greets him in a scene like an echo of a time past and it takes his breath away. Jimi, standing in his kitchen with Nairi as they put away groceries, smiling as brightly as she did the first time they did this so many years ago when Nairi was much smaller.

“We were gonna make dinner, but we got a bit carried away at the store,” Jimi apologizes, shrugging, and holds up a takeout container. “How’s Italian sound?”

“Good.” Magnus swallows down the lump in his throat and hopes that eases in the hoarseness in his voice. “I didn’t know you were back.”

“Some stuff came up at work, so…” Jimi shrugs, doesn’t exactly meet his eye. “Here I am!”

Dinner comes from a local Italian spot that Magnus and Jimi had gone to once, together, the evening they decided that no, this probably shouldn’t be a thing. The bread is still soft, the pasta exquisite, and the sun-dried tomatoes far, far sweeter than Magnus remembers.

“There were some changes,” Jimi says, once Nairi retreated to her room for the evening to leave the two of them to polish off the bottle of white wine Jimi had picked up ‘for fun’. Her gaze stays focused on her stemless glass, swirling around her drink. “So I’m finally back here for the time being.”

“For how long?” Magnus ventures, trying not to think about how much his world has shrunk since Jimi started spending more time away at this mystery job than her apartment. Since he was left behind, three times now.

“Mmh, not sure.” And Jimi sets her glass down on the coffee table, curls a leg up onto the couch so she can face Magnus. “How ‘bout you? How have you been?”

Terrible. “Fine.” Spiraling. “Same as usual.”

“You look tired, Magnus.”

He doesn’t have an answer for her.

Jimi is home a lot now. His home, which could have been hers, too. Magnus doesn’t realize how much he’s been slacking on groceries until he starts coming home to the fridge constantly being stocked with more than takeout, leftovers, and beer. Nairi is bright and cheery the following weeks after Jimi takes her on a shopping spree, and frequently sports a colorful jacket from one of her shows.

One evening, Magnus comes home after closing shop to find Jimi asleep on his couch, having been in the middle of folding laundry. She’s not even that good about putting away her own clothes from what he recalls.

He reaches down to brush an errant curl, stops himself, and instead moves her glasses to the side table. It’s enough to wake up the artist.

“Oh, shit, sorry,” she says hastily, rubbing her eyes and sitting up. “I was just –”

“Jimi, what are you doing?”

The way she pauses and her eyes widen in embarrassment makes Magnus kick himself for his lack of tact, but he can’t bring himself to stop. “I mean, you’ve been –”

“Weird, ah, I know. It’s weird. Sorry. I’ll just go–”

“No. Shit, I’m sorry, don’t –” Don’t go, please. She starts to rise and he places his hand on her shoulder and the way Jimi looks up at Magnus makes him jolt. A dormant urge sparks to life and he’s not so quick to snuff it out. “I’m sorry. I appreciate everything you’ve done, really. I know I’m not great at showing it.”

And he pauses, the words sending him down a completely different train of thought. He redirects. “And Nairi’s been really happy to see you again.”

Ignoring the protest in his knees, Magnus kneels down to be more at Jimi’s level, and he sees the way she sucks in a breath, hands clasped in her lap. He tosses his hair over his shoulder with a jerk of his head. “You’ve just got me worried, is all.”

The way Jimi presses her lips together and her eyes harden, he expects her to challenge him right back, because he knows the bags under his eyes haven’t gotten much better since she first asked about them. That the recession is hitting everyone hard, the shop hasn’t been doing its best, and Jimi just seems to be biding her time while making sure Nairi has everything she needs.

And Magnus is grateful, even if his pride is wounded a bit. It’s really not a talk either of them wants to have. “Listen, if you need to come back to the shop for a bit, it’s not a problem–”

“It’s not that,” Jimi interrupts, then sighs, looking away. Her hands twist in her lap and this time Magnus doesn’t hesitate to take one. He watches Jimi’s shoulders sag, and the fight leaves her body, replaced with an emotion he can’t identify that’s gone as fast as a ripple. “I’ve just got a lot of time on my hands. Maybe I should go back to school. Actually finish this time.”

“That’s not a bad idea.”

“Mmh.”

He forgot how small her hands were compared to his, long and knobby and weathered as they are. Jimi holds his hand much more carefully than he handled all those bottles he knocked back. She looks at him now and her eyes are dark as midnight in the summer. He can see the glitter of stars, feel the warm breeze in his hair, the blades of grass on his skin.

“... hey, Magnus…”

“Yeah?”

Jimi squeezes his hand, worries her lower lip with her teeth. Soft, plush lips that he remembers should be treated delicately. “... Lemme finish up here.”

He’s not sure what he was expecting. He should be used to disappointment. “Right, yeah. Okay.”

Weeks and months pass and Magnus remembers feelings other than grief and monotony and apathy. Even tragedy can’t stop Dethklok from flaunting their wealth before the world and that familiar sneer of disgust curls Magnus’ lip, before he changes the channel away from news of that damn statue.

Charles is dead and Jimi’s back and the need for revenge still burns in his chest and Nairi is healthy and well. It’s not exactly his normal, because he’s missing more than he usually is, and maybe some part of him really did believe that negotiating his royalties wouldn’t be the last time he spoke to Charles. It was the band, the rest of those selfish assholes who cast him out, and Charles wasn’t much better than himself, casting away his heart in favor of reaching his goals.

Magnus feels like he’s on the verge of waking from a dream, like maybe he’s getting to the acceptance phase, when Jimi turns to him and says Nairi’s gone for the weekend.

And he snaps out of whatever haze he was in. “Oh?”

“Yep,” Jimi chirps, shrugging. She’s more relaxed as of late, did actually take up classes again. Went to see her family. Said work had slowed down, but it was fine, apparently. “Told her and Haséyá to go have some fun.”

That would explain the text he got from his daughter. “I see.”

“She won’t be back until Sunday afternoon.”

Jimi smells really nice today. “Uh huh.”

“So… I thought we could watch movies, or something.”

“... Oh.”

She does not want to watch no damn movies.

It’s Friday night and Magnus is not alone and he doesn’t really need to concern himself with opening the shop tomorrow. Or for the whole weekend. Jimi is dressed simply in a shirt and sweats and what seems to be little else, now that he takes a good look at the dips of her chest. Jimi is turned towards him on the couch, same as the first night she returned, only this time she’s not asking how he’s doing.

The offer has stayed open all these years and now she gives him an answer. Yes, now, because if not, when? Magnus’ breath catches, and her fingers brush his knee, and the walls he had started building up again atop his mound of grief come crumbling down.

Jimi’s hand is small against him. Her skull, too, feels tiny cradled in his hands as he threads long fingers into her thick hair to draw her face near. Magnus only sees half as well as he used to, yet he plainly sees that beneath the care and sweetness that is Jimi is a pain he can’t identify. He asks if she’s sure and she nods her consent. The last time they kissed outside of the holiday season was on that doomed date. Kissing her feels like tasting the rain after a long drought, only it pours, and pours, and pours.

Magnus pulls back from the deluge and the whimper Jimi lets out takes the rest of the air from him. He takes her hands in his own, kissing her palms and fingertips, unsure if they are promises or apologies. Jimi accepts them all the same. She accepts his touch everywhere; rough calluses over smooth skin, a vice grip on her soft hip, and his longing into the aching core of her.

For her, he tries to be a gentle lover, but Jimi doesn’t let him. She doesn’t look at him much, but they both have a lot of hair in the way, and with him having only one eye, Magnus isn’t sure if he wants to glimpse anything other than whatever pain drove her back here. This, at least, is familiar territory to him, so when she claws at him and holds him tighter, closer, he ducks his head down, and gives it back tenfold.

He buries himself in her and with it he tries to bury that grief, that guilt, the ‘what-ifs’ and ‘could be’s’ that haunt him every time he looks into the mirror and sees that pale ghost staring back at him. It’s far less than she deserves, but Jimi takes it all the same, and in turn does not allow him to ride the bliss that follows release. No, she drags more from him with biting nails and pleading cries, with a voracity that shatters any illusion of innocence he may have still held towards her.

Jimi’s arduous cries turn to shouts, turn to sobs, and eventually, their mingled, labored breaths. In the wake of the storm there is stillness, and silence, and for a while, there is no loneliness.

It’s been twenty years or more since Magnus has shared a bed with anyone through the night. He never did with Mari, and the last person he remembers doing so with is dead. But Jimi stays with him until morning and it’s not as strange as it could be when he wakes up and she’s smiling at him. Wearing his shirt. Pushing his hair from his face and chiding him for not tying it up.

He doesn’t ask if she was thinking of someone else, too, in the dark. In the morning light, she’s looking at him, kissing him, swinging her legs over his hips and sinking down onto him. Jimi moves like the waves and Magnus lets her pull him under.

Afterwards, once she’s cleaned up and he finally manages to rouse himself from bed and do the same, he finds Jimi in the kitchen. The tea she claimed she’d make is unbrewed. Instead, she stands at the sink, the water running over her fingers as she stares with an unreadable expression.

It’s the crack in the otherwise perfect image of her standing in his kitchen, in his shirt, still wearing his scent. Maybe this will only last the weekend. Maybe this is all he’ll ever have. But he had nothing before, has nothing with Charles dead, so he’ll hold onto what little he has, however long he has.

“Hey,” Magnus says softly, jolting Jimi out of her trance.

“Oh, hey.” Her smile is weary. “Sorry, I guess I just kinda zoned out there.”

Magnus says nothing at first. Just closes their distance and wraps his arms around her. With their height difference, her face presses to the center of his abdomen. “It’s okay.”

Jimi’s arms wind around him, too. For a moment, he feels the gravity of a collapsed star, and his raspy voice fills the void. “It’s okay.”

[Soft OTP Prompts]

[yooniesim]

any suggestions for becoming a sims based blog? I used to do it back in the hayday of sims 3 but it's been YEARS and I still absolutely love making sims, but I'm too shy and nervous to interact with the community ;;;

hi nonny! this is a complicated question that I'm not sure I'm the best person to ask lol but let me try it out. I think I'm gonna separate it into two parts for ease of reading. And sorry if it's a bit more cynical than you probably expected. I've just learned a lot i wish I had done from the start, lol. So here we go.

Sims content

Post whatever tf you feel like. If you love making sims, post the hell outta them and don't worry about what anyone thinks. There's no one perfect type of content to appeal to everyone; the community is made up of a million smaller niche ones. Editors, sim makers, gameplayers, storytellers, cc makers, etc. If you're passionate about it, you'll find people that love your posts. So don't worry too much.

Don't get too hung up on editing, if you want your pics to look "better" then use gshade/reshade and/or simple psd actions to your liking. Don't let it get stressful cos it ain't worth it. If you don't enjoy editing, don't do it at all. (I wrote more about how I edit & make it easier in this post)

Try your very best not to worry about notes. I know it's hard. Everyone wants their stuff to be seen, but when it comes to engagement on here, you're aiming for quality over quantity. A few awesome mutuals commenting on your stuff is way better than 600 silent likes. Also, having more attention sucks bc it brings the vile swamp rats out of their holes to see what shit they can stir up. The brief serotonins aint worth it. Just aim to find a few cool ppl to talk about your sims with cos thats all that matters.

If you want, find bachelor/ette or similar challenges ppl are doing and submit sims for them. And once you get some mutuals/followers, open sim requests so you can make sims for people. It's super fun and awesome to see your sims in other people's games! And you don't have to talk too much if you don't feel like it, but it's an easy way to get involved with others.

Social stuff & safety

Comment on peoples posts often if you like them. Engage with ppl. Reblog posts you see you like but don't really have any reblogs. I know you said you're shy but, this is most of the way to actual have mutuals that enjoy talking to you and comment on your stuff as well. You can just not talk if you want but it'll make it harder to have any engagement unless you're really good at edits or cc making.

Don't get involved with drama/discourse, it means nothing and amounts to nothing. If you're going to boost someone else's post, look into it first and look for evidence that it's even true before you reblog. If people hate on you in your inbox, block the anon and don't respond even to laugh at them. Block anyone that gives you bad vibes. They look at you funny, breathe wrong, use a color you don't like. Block. If anyone tries to start shit with you, block & completely ignore them & don't comment on it. It hurts, but there's nothing you can do about it, and people will move on if you ignore them.

Don't reveal any personal info about yourself on here or to anyone in DMs. Don't use your real name. Don't have anything connected to your other socials. Don't trust anyone on here with your vulnerable emotions, past trauma, etc. And don't say anything in DM you wouldn't feel comfortable with everyone else on the internet potentially seeing.

If you pledge to people on patreon, be aware that your email will show up on their end when you do. Dont use your real name as your patreon username.

If simblr is causing you stress, you feel like your mental health is suffering, take breaks. Log off or delete the app for a while.

And... I think that's all I can think of for now. If there's anything else detailed you wanna ask about feel free. But these are just my general thoughts. Good luck, nonny :)

[frommyblog]

Praxis in the face of the OneD&D OGL License.

I'm sure by now we've all heard about the leaked OneD&D OGL License. I won’t waste time explaining what it means and its ramifications for us when smarter people than I already have. Check out those links if you aren't up to date, then come back here. What I am here for is this: community organization. If we plan on putting pressure on Hasbro/WOTC, we may have to do more than create a negative buzz about it (though it certainly doesn’t hurt). And so, I have composed a quick and dirty master post of some stuff you can do that help show Hasbro how detrimental this decision would be for their brand. 

So, what can we do about it?

A great way to think of this list is that you don’t necessarily have to do all of them to participate. Instead, take what works for you and your circumstances. Not everyone will be able to afford buying new ttrpgs or supporting artists, not everyone is willing to “borrow” information and sourcebooks online, and that’s okay! The important thing is that we make clear our stance and opinions on the new OGL License, and these are just a few ways you can do that.

QUICK NOTE DO NOT Harass anyone who works for Hasbro/WOTC or Second Parties, even those calling the shots, and DO NOT Harass the cast of Critical Role. None of them have control over this. And ESPECIALLY don’t harass anyone who doesn’t follow the steps outlined below. Thank you.

1) Boycott Boycotting official WOTC/Hasbro products and second parties is a great place to start. In that case, that means not only abstaining from purchasing products from WOTC/Hasbro, but also second parties, Like Critical Role, Roll 20, D&D beyond etc. You can decide yourself if you want to boycott exclusively D&D content, WOTC content, or all Hasbro properties, but I find the more pressure we put on them and bigger the reach, the better. 

2) Support other TTRPGs and Systems Take this as an opportunity to explore other TTRPGs and Systems. The biggest ticket here is Pathfinder 2e, which split off from 4e when WOTC first attempted to revoke the OGL, and which will probably be the most similar to the D&D ruleset we are familiar with. But if you want to play something different, consider trying Call of Cthulhu, Vampire the Masquerade, Cyberpunk, etc. I’d especially recommend going on Itch.io and looking at the smaller TTRPGs available (note: if you purchased the Bundle for Racial Inequality back in 2020 you probably already have a lot of great games available to you.). There is a treasure trove of great games made by smaller creators that are worth Trying out if given the chance. In the coming months/years, it’s highly likely a lot of new mock D&D systems like Pathfinder will be coming out. Try out those too.

3) Fan Content and Content Creation Additionally, refraining from consuming/making D&D content online (actual play, and the like) will take attention and reach away from WOTC. consider this a humble suggestion to ease up on making/consuming content about D&D. If your favorite D&D creator starts branching out to different kinds of content and TTRPGs, show up and support them. The less attention we pay to WOTC, the better. I’d specifically recommend not watching Critical Role for a time, considering their partnership with D&D Beyond and WOTC. (Nothing against Critical Role, I love Critical Role)

4) 3rd Party Supplements Supporting 3rd party supplements is crucial at this time. If we take pressure off Official D&D products and supporting exclusively smaller creators, we show that our money can and will go to other avenues. Make sure to only purchase/use homebrew specifically from 3rd party websites, kickstarters, and the like rather than the D&D Beyond website. Additionally, support artists and writers. Patreon, commissions, tips, etc. are great options. 

5)🏴‍☠️

Here’s some resources:

5etools - all information you need about 5e, easily searchable for free. 

The Vault - information on torrenting D&D materials

Wikidot - less information than 5e tools, I but find it specifically useful for character creation. Once again, free.

6) Spread the word The more negative buzz we stir up and the more backlash generated, the more WOTC/Hasbro will be forced to do something. And if more people know about the additional ways we can support the cause, the better as well. Remember, the more pressure we put on them, the more likely they will be to cow to our demands for a less restrictive OGL license akin to the one we have had for years. 

In Conclusion:

That’s about it for everything I personally know!  Remember, only do as much as you are able! Even if the only thing you can do is spread information on social media, that’s okay!

If I missed anything or you want to add to/correct something I said, feel free to leave a comment/reblog with that information. I’ll be sure to edit this with as much new information as possible, and give credit where applicable. Thank you!

The strength we have against Hasbro/WOTC here is that we are a large community surrounding a game designed to encourage working together for a common goal. It’s important to remember that we have the power to walk away if necessary and rebuild our community elsewhere. No matter what happens, keep your spirits held high! We will survive this, whether WOTC/Hasbro is with us or not.  And lastly, a prompt for engagement: feel free to reblog/comment with some TTRPG systems made by small creators you would personally recommend or that you want to try. Let’s keep the ball rolling! 

[red-panda-agere]

I need to post something, SHORT FICLET(?) ANYONE?

(Please credit if you use the icon)

Would You Rescue Me?

(Atticus x Giacomo short AGERE oneshot)

Giacomo had a very frustrating day. A few idiots, who still weren't convinced that Team Star was really innocent, had been bothering him through one of his classes, and had even tried to follow him to his dorm. In a panic, he quickly changed directions, heading towards Atticus' room so he wouldn't be alone. They'd called him several names in his history class that he'd rather not repeat, and he didn't even want to know what they were thinking as they not-so-sneakily attempted to follow him to his dorm. When he knocked on a door, rather than attempting to unlock it though, they stood back. The door opened after a few moments, the ones following behind not even seeing who let him in.

As soon as he stepped foot in and the door was closed and locked behind them, Giacomo made sure that both locks were done, Atticus' brow furrowed as he looked down at him, silently asking for an explanation. This wasn't a planned visit in the slightest, something had to have been seriously wrong. After a few moments of an awkward silence, the panic-fueled adrenaline started to wear off as Atticus had began to place some of Momo's stuff on the counter, not saying a word, not wanting to upset him further. The shorter male just stared at the ground. His hands started to shake as he no-longer felt like at any moment he could be pounced on, like a Deerling in a field of Pyroar.

His breathing hitched for a moment, before a quiet choked out sob was heard by Atticus. "Oh little one..." Giacomo broke at those words. He buried his face into Atticus's chest, his hands clenching the fabric closest to his face in a fist. "Dada is here sweetheart..." he started sobbing aloud as the taller now lifted him up. He wrapped his legs around the caregiver's waist. "Th-They were g-gon' get me da" he sniffled as he started to slip down, rapidly. "Din' mean bother you. Was scared!" He choked up again, continuing to pitifully sob. "No harm shall be done to you little one. You are with your Dada little star, you are safe. Get all those scary feelings out baby. Dada's got you..." he spoke softly in a whisper, trying to calm the little one hiding in his shoulder. Atty had pieced together what had happened, one of his few suspicions confirmed. "Dada" he sniffled. He snuggled further into Atticus' shoulder, if possible. "Dada is right here little one..." the taller assured softly. He walked over to the closet for a moment, grabbing a little baby blue case from the top shelf. He popped it open, offering the little one his paci. It had remained in the case, all nice and clean for the next time its comfort was required. Momo hid in his shoulder again for a moment after eyeing the small comfort object. "Dada won't judge Pumpkaboo... He is more than okay if you need it." Atticus would never touch the object himself unless asked to. That was his baby's and he respected it. Giacomo always got very very shy and anxious when it came to any of his little items. It took Atty forever to get him comfortable enough to even use the items infront of him without his help. He still got shy about using them, but Atticus assured him he would never make fun of, or scold him for having such comfort items. But he was a very patient caregiver and would give his little one all the time in the world. He would never push or insist. Whatever made Giacomo most comfortable.

"Can hav' da?"

The smaller asked in a whisper, sniffling. Atty didn't know whether to smile or frown. He'd asked for him to give him the pacifier, a big brave step for him. On the other hand, he must be very desperate or so scared and small he was fully reliant on him. But that's 10000% okay. "Dada's got you little star..."

Atticus grabbed the little red ring on the comfort item, easing the Zorua paci to the little one's lips. The case was sat back up onto the shelf. Most of his little ones' regression items were hidden up there. A very soft Umbreon plushie was sitting on the shelf, Gio's gaze fixed on it. Atty noticed almost immediately something had caught his attention. He looked up at the shelf as well. "What has caught your attention little one?" The regressed boy made a 'grabby hand' at the shelf. That didn't help much...

Atticus then reached back up, grabbing his light blue and white Swablu baby blanket. Gio hesitated, now wanting it as well but still wanting the Umbreon. He now made two 'grabby hands.' Atticus understood now. He grabbed the little blankie and the Umbreon's paw in the same hand. He handed both to the teary-eyed little one, the dark type trainer laying his head back down on his shoulder. One hand heald the Swablu blankie and rested on the opposite shoulder, his arm around his caregiver's shoulder. The other hand heald Umbreon, pulling it up to his chest. "There we are little star..."

The warmth of comfort that seemed to radiate off the taller male in the moment had Giacomo desperate to stay in his hold. "Can Dada set you down for a moment little star?" Atticus asked softly. The baby shook his head, his grasp on the taller's shirt tightening. "Alright bubs, alright." The poison type trainer was going to help him get into some comfier clothes but his emotional comfort comes first. It hurt his heart to hear the crying from his little one, wishing so badly he could never be sad ever again. "How does a bottle sound little one?" Momo hesitated for a moment, nodding a little nervously. "Dada does not mind little one...you are such a brave little star, did you know that? You have been such a big help to Dada today at getting you comfortable. Dada is so so proud of you..." Atticus cooed, making his way to the makeshift dorm kitchen. The darker haired male smiled just a little from behind his paci, sniffling a little, but a soft little giggle was heard. That warmed Atty's heart...

He hummed softly as he skillfully prepared the bottle of Moomoo milk for his little one.

Giacomo softly cried as Atticus bounced him carefully in his arms, a bit calmer than before. The microwave quietly hummed in the background as he hushed the little one. Seeing the poison type Team Star member a bit out of his element, was odd for just about anyone else. He was just in a video game t-shirt and some very thin pajama pants. The fluffy ones or even just regular ones were too warm for him, but he still liked having his legs covered. That wasn't the problem at hand though. "Shh little one...Your dada has got you..." Giacomo tried, he really did, but he was upset. And he was allowed to feel that way. It just hurt Atticus to see him this upset and scared. Atty opened the microwave a few seconds before it beeped, not wanting to spook the little one any more with any sudden sounds. He carefully screwed the yellow, star covered lid on, with one hand, gently shaking it up.

He sat down on a couch, next to the bed in his cramped dorm room. Not too much time was spent in here anyways, but cramped nonetheless. His little one was now sat in his lap, slightly propped up on the arm of the couch, as well his own arm. Atticus kissed his little one's head as he heard a quiet sniffle, setting the bottle on the coffee table infront of them. "Alright little star...can we set your paci down for a moment? You can have it right back afterwards, you have Dada's word...Dada has a baba for you..."

Momo looked away from his caregiver, a bit embarrassed to have Atticus watch him take his paci out. He handed it to his Dada, whimpering a bit as the tears started to build back up a bit as he no longer felt grounded. He clung to his Dada as he leaned over to set the paci on the table, rushing to grab the bottle of Moomoo milk. "Shhh...oh little star. It's alright baby. Dada's got you, please don't cry sweetheart. Look what Dada's got Pumpkaboo..." he hushed softly. Atticus heald up the star themed bottle, gently shaking it to get the boy's attention. A few stray tears slipped down as he reached for it. "Sippy" Giacomo sniffled. Grabby hands were made towards it.

"Do you want Dada's help little one?" Atty asked before he handed it to Gio. The regressed boy thought about it for a moment, hiding behind his blankie in embarrassment. He was chewing on one of the corners. A little shy, he nodded, still clinging to the comfort items with one hand, the other holding his Dada's shirt. "You are doing so good today little one...Dada's so proud of you. So so brave..." Atty cooed, carefully easing the bottle towards him, as if making sure that Gio himself was absolutely sure. Momo leaned forward, a small whine of frustration before the gap was broken, and the little one started to sip on the bottle.

Atticus hummed softly, the little one listening to the rumbling of his chest, as he continued to hold his 'sippy' for him. It went on like this until Giacomo started to doze off. His eyes were fluttering shut every few seconds, his Dada softly laughing at his sweet, sleepy baby. The nearly empty bottle was sat back on the table and the paci was given back to the baby. Gio was carefully sat up, his head back on his caregiver's shoulder.

The baby boy finally slipped into a peaceful sleep, his blankie and Umbreon still in hand. Atticus kept his hold on the little one, gently running his hand through his little Pumpkaboo's hair.

"No harm shall come to you as long as I am here my little one..."

[cynopoe]

Hi there! I’ve just seen your post about your fear of dropping out, and i have almost zero context, but i can still assure you that it is absolutely fine! I know I am just a random Tumblr user who knows nothing about you or your situation, but trust me that it is okay! i’ve been through probably something similar as I dropped out of a university after 7 years basically right before the finish line, i was 26 then! It was scary and i felt immerse shame over it for a while, and that sucked, im not gonna lie… but then i slowly started to feel SO MUCH BETTER as the constant stress and all that shit that i experienced while i still was there started to fade away! Also it really is just a cognitive bias (look them up if you want, they can be quite eye opening), a sneaky trick your mind is playing with you, really. I mean if you have already spent 5 years with this, your brain tries to convince you that it really is worth all the pain, because otherwise it would mean that it was all for nothing and you were wrong in investing this much effort in this… but it’s not true! It’s just a f*cked up “defense” mechanism your mind came up with unconsciously! Believe me, dropping out really is not that big deal, but it unfortunately takes some time to actually internalize this thought properly! But you will get there, i am sure! And you are still very young! You can start something new, get back later to whatever you will stop now, really, endless opportunities! I am 33 now, and i regret nothing, my dropout had to happen, i could become a healthier and happier person because of it! I dont plan to ever finish my stuff, but knowing that i dont have to might have eased my anxiety back then too… So heads up, you will be fine, you got this, you can do it but it is absolutely 100% okay if you dont either! 😊

Oh 🥹 thank you. For writing this. For me, I’m simply being a whining asshole because I become a rabid monster when under stress. I like the field I choose. I like learning. I like the social leverage it will eventually give me. It’s simply that it can get a bit *too much* sometimes.

I don’t plan to give up anytime soon, but seeing such positive thoughts makes me feel a lot better actually. When I think of it on a smaller scale, it really is not a live or die thing. Life goes on. It’s not just dependent on one exam result or a particularly stressful school season.

I’m sure there are other people who could also take something from this. Thank you for being so kind with me

[cooingcrow]

Update!

In a way better mood than the last time I posted. I’m experimenting with a few new techniques to manage myself and my adhd. It’s working for the most part but it’s requiring me to also balance other parts of myself I’ve let take the wheel in my life. So anyways, what have I been up to since the last post?  Drawing. Mostly drawing. I have a harpy oc I’ve been trying to piece out for myself and while it was originally supposed to just be a fun avatar or sorts for me, it’s helping me world build a much larger story I’ve been dying to tell. I forgot about the thrill that comes from getting your hands dirty and experimenting with designs. Example, there are quite a few ways to draw a harpy and there are a number of them that I just want to see in the world itself, so it becomes a question of how do you work the different designs in?

Suddenly you’re coming up with different subspecies, where the branching points matter in the world building, how they fit in with what you’ve already come up with and by sheer accident, figuring out some more hard rules for the magic system you’ve been trying to put in place. I didn’t get all that when I commissioned the original design, so I’m appreciating my new outlook on how hands on I’ve become to the design. 

It’s still going to be some time before I can start writing though. The world that I’m building is thankfully a shared world between some of the SFW and the NSFW projects I wanted to tackle, but these are also such big stories that I wanted to ease into them with smaller works first. I haven’t quite figured out how I’m doing that yet, but maybe that will also become more clear when I draw some more.

I have a good system going for me right now. On the weekdays at work I draw on sticky notes doing little exercises I’ve found in an artbook I like. Sometimes I do freestyle stuff as well. When the weekend hits, I have a dedicated amount of time to draw more intensely without interruption or I’ll do some research on some techniques and after a lunch break I’ll swing back and put what I’ve learned into practice. Either way, I’m having fun with it and that’s all that matters. I recently purchased some new pens and some markers to add a bit more to my sketches. Hopefully I’ll be ready for digital down the line.

[transhuman-priestess]

Did I ever tell y’all about the absolute nightmare that my bottom surgery was?

Well buckle up, homestuck, because this is gonna get fucked up!

So basically if you’re still with me from the Before Times, I kinda disappeared after getting the ol’ snip n flip. That wasn’t the reason, I was just so busy with other stuff I kinda just fell off tumblr.

Firstly, they made me lose 70 pounds, more than 20% of my body weight. A week before surgery the surgeon emails me to check in on my weight loss. I tell her I’m still 10 pounds over. She says they might have to cancel my surgery but send some pictures so she can see.

After taking a couple of borderline-cheesecake photos for my doctor, she sends me an email saying I “look fine”.

Prior to surgery I’m given a very stern lecture that if I have any complications, any at all, I am to contact the surgeon directly, not to go to the ER or anything like that. I don’t really need to be told not to seek medical care from uninitiated doctors, but I’m more than glad to agree to this. Keep this paragraph in mind because it’s the rifle hanging on the wall if this post.

So I go to Philly and they stick me under and everything is pretty great for a while. I have really good depth and I’m able to rage the biggest dilator all the way to like, the second to last dot.

But a week or so after I get home one of my incisions opens up. I call the doc and receive no answer. I am hesitant to dilate because uhhhhh I don’t want to get stuff in a massive open wound in my abdomen??

It takes her about a day to get back to me. She tells us to fly back to Philly (from Chicago) the next day. So like, $1000 right there (bless my parents for helping).

While I’m there getting my cunt restitched, she’s cold, snippy, and insinuates that this is all somehow my fault. I’m pretty sure it’s not but whatever, I’m not the doctor here.

So we fly back home, I’m all sewn up. I deal with the unpleasant experience of having someone’s “emotional support” labradooodle stuff it’s nose directly into my still-bleeding crotch, but I’m okay.

And so I start dilating again, not able to take as much now, but slowly working back up.

And a few days after I get home the god damn incision opens up again.

At this point I’m pretty fucking distraught. I call, and I get no answer. I call again, and again, and again. For days I’m calling and sending emails and I get no response.

We ask my aunt (a surgeon) to see if she can get through to the doctors office. She’s able to with relative ease, and they work out something where I use wound gel and keep it clean. I try to keep dilating at this point but my vagina has started to close up, the opening is about 3/4” wide.

I got some smaller dilators but it was extremely disheartening and uncomfortable and eventually, I just kind of gave up. I felt horrible about it. The last time I contacted the surgeon was to ask for help with my constricted vagina. She prescribed me some topical estrogen cream that, in my view, did absolutely fuck all.

So yeah now I’m stuck with a vagina that’s fused shut and I’ve been that way for like 5 years now. Actually almost exactly 5 years. My surgery anniversary is tomorrow. Fucking lovely.

I have a revision consult in July but it took me forever to even work up the guts to find someone to do it because Jesus fucking Christ the whole thing was humiliating and violating.

But yeah that’s the story of how my cunt became a can’t. Thank you I’ll be here all week.

[whypolar]

re: riddhe, "invested in" is a bit of a stretch so it doesn't really bother me too much to see him bashed, it's more like he's the character who i was compelled by most when i watched. i tend to enjoy rivalries/uneasy allegiances/relationships that revolve around strong ideological differences so i was already primed to like his relationship with banagher, especially in their fight against loni, and was even willing to buy his proposal to/romance with mineva as a sort of political marriage or marriage of convenience thing until it became clear in the OVA that mineva was barely going to be giving him the time of day, which kinda ends up breaking down the main trio both as an interesting ongoing interpersonal dynamic and as synecdoches for their respective factions (i.e. banagher as the vist foundation, mineva as zeon, riddhe as the political branch of the earth federation). i think there are some parts of the novels' characterization that line up, but my main feeling when i read your post about episode 3 was that i'd been so robbed because so much of that characterization was just completely absent, not even necessarily that it was replaced by something worse. i like that riddhe in the novel has stronger convictions, and that portrayal of him probably has an edge on his OVA portrayal because it eases some of my biggest pain points with unicorn's politics overall, but i also like characters who have flawed, conflicted motivations, it's just that the OVA feels like it's pulling a lot of punches. there's probably going to be more to say once we get to his heel turn and subsequent face turn because that's when i felt riddhe becoming really sloppy and incoherent as a character, so i'm interested in how that's handled in the books especially given that he is more or less a completely different character.

re: unicorn in context of UC/gundam, i personally found unicorn deeply frustrating and self-defeating and confusing when everyone else talks about it like it's "a love letter to UC" (focusing more on first gundam through char's counterattack, i think f91 and victory are doing their own things enough and drawing less on specific characters and events from previous installments) but from what i gather you seem to like it? i think my basic complaint is that gundam 00 handles the themes around newtype stuff, the power of communication, belief/faith/religion, and even smaller stuff in unicorn like agency and problematized humanity leaps and bounds better, so what does unicorn have to say about UC specifically and what "purpose" does it serve as a UC story? i still have some problems with it that would have remained problems if it were an AU installment, but being so tied into the continuity of UC makes it harder to write off or reconcile. again though this may be more relevant to revisit at the end of the series.

Ahhh, I see. I feel like a lot of the commentary from people I personally follow re: Unicorn is quite negative, so it seems my fandom context is a little different than yours. Not so much on tumblr where I'm posting analysis, but like, UC Gundam fans broadly whose opinions I respect on Twitter or whatever. Even people who like Unicorn (or parts of it) seem to have significant complaints in my circles.

Coming at it from that angle specifically, hmm… it's complicated. I do think it would be easiest to talk about this at the end. There's a lot of different things going on that I'd have to untangle in my brain. Plus, I want to see how the anime does it, because I know Frontal's story ends differently, and he's a huge deal to me.

I haven't watched 00 yet-- started and liked what I watched a while back, just got sidetracked by life and never circled back. GWitch is the only AU I've watched all the way through. God, there's so much Gundam in the world. Sometimes I think about what I'll watch next when the Unicornbrain finally recedes, and it's so daunting.

Everything you said about Riddhe makes a lot of sense. I do think a lot of the "worse" I'm perceiving is that he feels boring to me (though I also just have a personal grudge against sheltered wealthy 20-somethings who give guilt-trippy love confessions to teenagers. I dated this exact genre of guy for nearly a decade of my life). If they made him less sympathetic in a way I thought was interesting, I'd still be annoyed to not get to see the character I liked, but I might be able to get into it as its own thing.

I do think the OVA feels like it's pulling more punches than the novel, not even on an actual plot level necessarily so far, but like… the "vibe" of the world and the people in it, if that makes sense…? I talked about Syam feeling ethereal and like his edges have been sanded down, and I feel something similar about a number of minor characters, and also just the unnamed people existing in the world. They feel less tangible to me. More abstracted. I have no idea if I'm being coherent at all right now, but hopefully you get what I mean.

[iboulderdashart]

Whelp

Remember back in the day how Tumblr got rid of NSFW content on their site and everyone saw it as the dumbest move they could possibly make and it killed the site? Who could ever make a dumber decision?

Ol' Musk just went "hold me beer" on that by setting up a limit on how many Tweets you could view a day. While I understand it is temporary, you must also understand that this is the dumbest decision ever regardless of the situation all because one of the richest men on the planet doesn't want to pay his tab to Google. I don't know if this'll be the proper death of Twitter we were all waiting for, but I do think it is at least a significant blow regardless.

So fuck 'em.

I'm setting up on Tumblr. I give Twitter credit where credit's due for it's really simple ease of use and accessibility, which is the only reason I stuck around for so long, but now this "temporary" measure is just a force to drive me away. So I'm coming here.

I've looked at other sites, other Twitter alternatives like Hive or Mastodon... but nothing ever just clicked. They're all either weird, ugly, awkward, hard to use, or any combination of the above. Tumblr I'm at least vaguely familiar with and has been my most-likely candidate from the start.

I've another, much older Tumblr account, but forget it. I'm just going to start a new one here. My old Twitter started going to the wayside over time in favor of my art Twitter, so it'd just end up being the case here.

You want mouse art and other dumb things, you got it. Or will get it here, in time.

I went through my follows and tried my best to locate everyone I care about here on Tumblr, but not everyone has a Tumblr. I hope to still find them again some day.

I'll begin with my oldest content and work my way up. Please bear with me as it'll have to be done through my iPad and redownloading stuff off my Google drive. Don't hold your breath on smaller sketches and doodles as I don't save those, just do them as quick exercise. Future quick doodles will be posted and I'll try to get my older ones if I can, but those are currently just on Twitter. It depends on how hard the site wants to fight me for 'em.

So... hope to see ya all again soon!