#started writing this in the car while my sister was singing kids songs to her 3 y/o oops so sorry if it's a bit janky | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bi-lavelent · 5 months ago

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Lone Wolf (Quinn Fabray x Fem reader part 10)

Warning:Fluff, Angst, Bullying, Cussing

I was waiting outside of Glee the next day for Santana. I had been doing this since I missed being in the class I would move in time to not be seen at the end but I could also hear a couple things like how Mr.Schue wanted them to do ballads for the week.

INNER THOUGHTS

Damn are you kidding me one of the weeks I could actually sing I wasn’t allowed to be in the class I mean hell the only type of music I do song is county and heavy metal and a little bit of rap and hip hop. But I mean come on I deserved to be in that class I would blow everybody’s socks off. Too bad Rachel was the only one without a partner. Since Hope had decided to stay home and help Matt with his Spiderman problems. Maybe he had got bitten in his ear and it had caused for him to become a superhero. That would be cool you know if superhero existed Santana would make a hot black widow or a hot Miss America maybe then she could open a portal to where we could be ourselves. We had been secretly dating for the past couple of weeks. But god I think that I was falling in love with her. She would also make a hot Hawkgirl. Damn having sex with a superhero would be hot. Wait I was thinking about my sister and her boyfriend gross. I wish that I could sing a ballad with Santana everyone wouldn’t think that she was gay because they didn’t get to pick their partners. They would just think that we’re friends. I sat there waiting for Glee to end and when Santana walked out I walked out to the car with her.

“Hey hot stuff how was your day.” I asked

“Good how bout yours?” Santana asked as I drove out of the parking lot

“It was okay I’m just kinda bummed I’m not in Glee I know the chances are slim but singing a ballad with you would be amazing and they wouldn’t even know about us because we wouldn’t have an option but to be with each other.” I said

“Yeah well maybe we could sing a ballad together some other time right know I have to pick a ballad that would be good for me and Britt.” Santana said

“Mine Taylor Swift.”I said

“Oh my god yes. You know that your perfect” Santana said and then leaned over and kissed me

“I know I am.” I said

“What were you thinking for us if we were partners.” Santana said

“Oh I have list know for the ones that we probably could pull of together Delta Dawn. The ones that I really love Forever and Ever amen, Always on my mind, Concrete angel, Blue eyes Crying in the rain, Til the rivers all run dry, Live like you we’re dying. The ones that I would love to do but we definitely can’t do together because I don’t know how your voice would pair with heavy metal Nothing else matter, November rain, Fade to black and Mama said.” I said

“Wow you put a lot of thought into this.” Santana said

“Yeah well I had a lot of time well the human contraceptive fell in love with the teacher. Dude did you see the way she was staring at him it’s the same way I stare at you. The same way Puck stares at Quinn and the same way Finn stares at Rachel and sometimes the same way Quinn stares at Rachel. Oh trust me he gets students who have crushes on him all the time two years ago there was this nerd named Suzy Pepper she would write his name in hearts ask him inappropriate questions and made everyone else uncomfortable. She grew up on a farm and was very religious like super religious. Like she started the Celibacy club. She’s waiting for marriage. I wish I could go to the high school reunion in a while and ask her how that faired for her in the long term. Nothing against the Celibacy club babe. But why are you even in it I know that you had definitely fucked Puckerman before me. Which must have sucked if he was your first time your lucky he didn’t get you pregnant anyway She graduated that year. I think she changed her name to April something to sound better she’s going to John Hopkins medical center she wanted to be some kind of doctor. A surgeon I think.” I said

( I’m sorry I had too for those who understand the reference with April being from Ohio and her being on the show it can’t be a coincidence)

”Okay well how do you know that.” Santana said

“Cause I had fucked most people in the Celibacy club hell I had fucked almost every one in the school by my Sophomore year. Too bad the hot people came the next year. You know the hottest one I saw was one I was supposed to mentor her. I had to drop out last minute because I felt like I had a crush on her the second I saw her. She had long Gorgeous brown hair and a smile that could light up any room that she walked in.But I chickened out last second as I was walking towards her I saw one of my friends and sent one her to mentor her last year well I mentored her kid we promised to never talk about this with anyone ever.” I said

“Oh who were they let me guess Rachel or Mercedes. I need to know who it was so that I can be mad at you and them.” Santana said

“Here name was as beautiful as she was. When she laughed she made me laugh to I would watch from afar never really wanting her to see the way I blushed every time I looked at her and how the red on my cheeks depended every time I heard her voice. She didn’t know who I was but I kept my eye out for her to the point where I had her schedule memorized. I realized that I also started seeing her out and about ofcourse she never looked at me why would she.” I said

“Why would she not trust me it’s hard for me to take my eyes away from you.” Santana said

“It wasn’t last year.” I said smiling at her

“tell me who it is now.” Santana said

“Wow you really are clueless sometimes her name was Santana Lopez.” I said

“Wait me you were like stalking me last year.” Santana said

“I wasn’t stalking you.” I said

“You kinda were. Wait you were friends with toxic homophobic bitch.” Santana said

“Yep best friends.” I said

“What are you still.” Santana asked

“No ofcourse not I’m just waiting for someone who I put first and will also put me first. But everyone I find already has a best friend and I will always put them first and they will always put me in last.” I said

“Okay well what about me.” Santana said

“Yeah go see how Brittnay feels about that and then I would be your third maybe because you have Quinn after Britt and so you won’t work.” I said

“Oh you could easily replace Quinn even if we weren’t fucking each other.” Santana said

“Good to know.” I said

As we pulled up in front of the house I went inside to do homework and Santana also did the same going to her room. People at school Questioned if I was adopted by her family. As I had gotten close with her parents and it showed I wanted them to know that if she did come out and wanted to be with me that they’d be okay with us dating. I called my sister and put her on speakerphone as I got into my pajamas

“Hey” hope said

“Hey” Matt said

“Hi how you feeling.” I said

“They found eggs in my ear.” Matt said

“Hey buddy I totally understand price of living downstairs.” I said

”See she gets me.” Matt said

“I’m sorry that you have to go through that. How are your parents treating you with all of this.” I said

“Good what are they doing in glee has Santana told you?” Matt and hope asked

“There just doing ballads this week your not missing anything.” I said

“How’s the Lopez treating you.” Hope said

“There good a lot better than our family how have the Rutherfords been treating you?” I asked

I didn’t see that Santana had walked in and sat in the chair behind me

“There good can you believe these families eat food together and not just like let you eat anywhere.” Hope said

“It’s nice you know eating together and eating a dinner for the most part and not just our parents saying fend for yourself.” I said

“How long are you staying at the Lopez.” Hope asked

“I don’t know I hope they will keep me till I’m 18 and then I will get my own house and you can move there and will be safe.” I said

“We’re gonna be stuck in fucking Lima, Ohio aren’t we?” Hope asked hearing the sadness in her voice and the words made tears go down my eyes

“You can get out of here. Just keep at Cheerios don’t piss anyone off and get out of here. My last hope was Glee. Without it I will most likely never be leaving here.” I said

“We’ll have fun with Santana and the Lopez.” Hope said

“Have fun with the Rutherford and not to much fun with Matt. I can beat him up and he knows that I will go all boxing Y/N on his ass and she has no remorse.” I said

“You already we know we’ve hooked up you walked in on us once.” Hope said

“I screamed that I would be burning that image out of my mind and we would never mention it again.” I said

“I love you bye.” Hope said

“I love you too cherish being with the Rutherfords well you can we both know this isn’t forever will have to go back to our abusive mom and our neglectful father who is a pastor and won’t even talk to me without threatening to kill me.” I said

“Yeah I will cherish it feels good imagining they were my family. It’s just weird dating my brother when I think about it.” Hope said

“I’m doing the same thing here except the dating thing. Bye love you.” I said hanging up on her

“Your family doesn’t feed you and your parents abuse you?” Santana asked tears running down her eyes

“What you’re telling me your parents have never purposefully run you over with a car (I laughed) because you had an F? or called you a Cunt because you didn’t clean up your room? or tells you every single day that you don’t actually have friends because they don’t talk to you outside of school or Glee or that Nobody will ever love you because of how you act. Your father has never threatened to shoot you if you bring another girl home and he finds you in bed. Your parents didn’t send you off to a conversion camp to try to fix you but the only thing that happened was that you got raped by a camp counselor. Your parents don’t just leave you at home with no food when you were six and told you to fend for yourself.” I said starting to cry as Santana ran over and hugged me

“Hey Hey, Hey I got you. You’re safe here with me I will keep you safe for as long as I need to they won’t lay another finger on you I promise. I will try and help you get that house and protect your sister okay I love you.” Santana said

“You what.” I said

“Nothing.” Santana said

“Okay thank you. You are really the best secret girlfriend anyone could ask for.” I said

“Is there anything else you want to tell me I know that you have been keeping something secret.” Santana said

“I love you too.” I said

Next day at school (Thursday)

An announcement had come over the intercoms from one of the boys saying “We have an issue with Fags at this school we have found the solution everyone either look at the TVs near you or open your laptop and click on the link that we sent you.” The video of me getting rapped was on every Tv and everyone’s laptop.

“Shit,Shit,Shit” I whispered under my breath. I was at the end of the hallway in Mr.Schues room I started to run out of the classroom to the nearest exit he looked at me and I just pointed to the computer. As everyone turned to the TV’S or clicked the link I could see The incident happening over and over and over again as I ran out of the school and to my car and took off to the Lopez household and up to my room I hid in the bathroom so that no one would find me I stayed their all day long crying over the situation. Everyone at school had seen me get rapped I guess that it was no longer a secret that I could hold onto

Later that day in Glee.

“Y/N was hot in that video” Puck said

“Really Puckerman yeah I get she was a Jerk to us but a video of our Friend getting rapped was broadcasted to the whole school.” Rachel said

Mr.Schue walked in as the kids talked about what had happened.

“Look guys I get that everyone was excited to sing our ballad for Finn and Quinn. But I feel like we should focus on what happened today. Trust me when I say that I know that Y/N messed with a lot of us when she had her outburst. But she didn’t deserve this no one does and the fact that this happened is appalling.” Mr.schue said sitting down

“It’s all my fault.” Finn said

“WHAT DID YOU DO FINN?” Quinn yelled asked at him

“I was so mad at Y/N after what they did to me. That I told the guys on the football team who let it spread like wildfire. If I just kept my mouth shut this wouldn’t have happened to her.” Finn said

“Santana you live with her did she tell you anything.” Quinn asked

“No she just said that she didn’t like the campus. I know that she seemed off. I just thought that maybe she saw the father of her child. I didn’t imagine this is what happened.” Santana said

“I don’t feel safe you heard them and saw peoples faces. I’m scared that I might be next. I am also scared that I saw many women and men getting off to it.” Kurt said

“We need to suck up what she said about us and be there for her right now. She needs her friends who didn’t watch the video. Who are gonna stick by her side and protect her.” Mercedes said

“That’s easy for you to say she didn’t say anything about you.” Quinn said

“She right my marriage might be over, Quinn and Finn might be over. But she would have protected all of you and you know it.” Mr.Schue said

“Santana can we all come to your house.” Rachel asked

“I don’t want my privacy invaded but for Y/N I’d do anything.” Santana said

“Good we’re carpooling there now. She needs us now we’re picking up her sister and Matt if he can come and we’re going to comfort her.” Rachel said

“My dad can come get me and other pepole.” Artie said

“Mr.Schue, Quinn, Kurt. You’ll drive. I think that Kurt should go with the freshman first as they all have the best relationship with Y/N. Then Quinn can Drive Santana, Mercedes and Brittnay. You will all go and get as much Ice Cream and Chocolate and Movies that she would Like.” Rachel said

“and pizza.” Santana interrupted “she loves pizza”

”Mr.Schue you’ll drive Finn, Puck , Racheland Me. We will get there after we figure out how to make these assholes pay for what they did to her.” Mike said

“Artie can you try and pick up her sister and Matt and fill them in on what happened?” Quinn asked

“Ofcourse.” Artie said

“Y/N on three okay 1, 2,” Mr.Schue said

“Nope not doing that.” Puck said

“Uh uh” Brittnay and Santana said

“Okay let’s get going.” Santana said

“Kurt here’s my keys don’t lose them don’t steal them just go protect her with them pls and then give them back when I get there.” Santana said

Soon enough Kurt and the freshman pulled up in front of the Lopez house and got out of Kurt’s car. Tina jiggled the keys into the door and opened it up.

“Okay Tina go check down stairs, I’ll check upstairs and then we will both go upstairs and check.” Kurt said

“Okay” Tina said

They both went looking around the house running opening every door looking for me. Soon enough they went upstairs and checked in all the bedrooms eventually finding me in my bathroom with a broken mirror as I decided to punch it when I got angry. Kurt ran over to me and wrapped his arms around me as i cried into them. Tina sat in front of me handing me tissues.

A few minutes later Quinn pulled up to the Lopez household they ran straight in as Santana grabbed the keys off the table and put them in her pocket. She ran upstairs to my room and saw me and the others sitting on the floor. Kurt saw the worry on Santanas face and decided to get up and switch spots with her. I snuggled deeper into her calming down a little bit at the feel of her arms around me.

“Rachel thought that food would make you feel better.” Santana said

“Shiva” Kurt said

“Isn’t that when someone dies. I haven’t died.” I said

“Your innocence did” Artie said as he wheeled in having been carried up the stairs by Matt and Hope

“Oh..” I said before getting cut off

“That died along time.” My sister said cuddling into my other side

“We got you we’re not mad at you anymore. You need a support system and me and the others will gladly be that.” Quinn said

“Where’s everyone else.” Matt said

“There trying to figure out if there’s anything they can do about this.” Quinn said

“You mean besides send these assholes to prison.” Santana said rubbing my back

“They can’t go to prison.” Tina said

“Yes the can they put underage porn on the internet.” I said

“Who was underage all of the boys were 18 except the one who was filming was a sophomore.” Matt said

“I am I’m only seventeen I turn eighteen this summer and if you mean to tell me that the people who rapped me are adults than there In even more trouble.” I said

“We ain’t leaving you okay we all already called our parents and they are okay with us staying here.” Artie said

“What about your parents.” Hope said looking at Santana

“They’re out of town for a medical conference.” Santana said

“Are they ever home.” Tina asked

“Yeah actually they are. But that’s coming from someone whose parents just leave them for weeks on end.” I said

Soon enough Mr.Schue came by with Puck, Rachel, Mike and Finn

“Is there anything we need to do Mike asked we could kick there asses.” Mike said

“I’m not even gonna talk you guys out of it this time.” Mr.Schue said

“Did you guys find anything.” I asked

“Yeah the cops will be there tomorrow.” Mr.Schue said

“Look as nice as this is I just feel uncomfortable okay you all saw me naked.” I said

“We didn’t watch the video we saw who it was in the mirror of the bathroom. Heard what they said and turned it off before anything happened.” Artie said

“I’m gonna leave you kids be. I already contacted your parents and the school if you want to all take some time off to comfort Y/N.” Mr.Schue said

“I also called my dad you don’t need to go to work he will continue to pay you. But you don’t need to show up.” Kurt said

“Can someone go get the food and movies.” Santana said

“We’re on it” Finn, Matt, Mike, and Puck said

“Kurt are you doing okay.” I asked still snuggled into Santanas arms

“What about the other gay kids at school.”Kurt said “What about me if they did this to someone everyone in the school was scared in what stops them from doing it to me.”

“We will we’re gonna protect you two at all cost. We’re your own secret service.” Rachel said

“I just want things to go back to normal. I know you guys didn’t see me naked but everybody else did. I just wish that I had a Time Machine.” I said

They boys came up with the movies and the snacks as Santana picked me up and carried me over to the bed.

Santana layer next to me in the bed. Hope and Matt layer on the flour with a pillow from Santanas bedroom. Mercedes, Quinn and Brittnay all sat against the wall. With a blanket they had found down stairs Artie sat in his chair outside the room. Tina sat on the side of the bed I was laying on with Rachel. Kurt and Mike sat in the doorway. Well Puck and Finn sat outside the door in the hallway. Mr.Schue came back to check on us a couple times.

I hade woken up in the middle screaming after having a nightmare about the event happening again. Santana shot up with me rubbing my back. As everyone else stated to wake up. I was breathing really heavy and was having a hard time talking.

“Is everything okay?” Quinn asked

“You okay Y/N?” Kurt said

“Did something happen?” Finn asked rubbing his eyes

I burst into tears as Santana moved over Quinn and Brittnay ran to me hugging me.

“Are you okay?” Mercedes asked

“I’m so sorry I just had a nightmare.” I said

“About what ?” Santana asked

“I guess I can’t lie to you guys anymore it wasn’t a nightmare I was reliving it. Everytime I close my eyes I see it happening. It hasn’t stopped it’s been happening since it happened.” I said

“Is there anything we can do to comfort her?” Santana asked looking at hope

“I don’t know usually her waited blanket calms her down. But it’s at our house.” Hope said

“Are you able to go back there?” Artie said

“I guess.” Hope said leaving the room

“Finn, Mike, Puck and Matt pls go with her.” Santana said

“Matt pls protect her from them.” I said he looked at me knowingly and nodded

“Is there anything we can do til then ?” Quinn asked laying her arms over my legs to try to calm down.

“I have thousands of blankets downstairs.” Santana said

“We will all go get them.” Quinn said

They all left and Artie rolled across the hallway to use the restroom.

“What can do for you baby?” Santana asked

“Human weighted blanket once the blankets on me can you cuddle me please.” I said

“Ofcourse.” Santana said

“How much of the video did you watch? Tell me the truth please.” I said

“Why are you asking.” Santana said

“Santana you were in the lunchroom you had access to TVs everywhere around you.” I said

“I watched the beginning and then I saw what they were doing to you and i tried to look away but no matter where I looked I saw what was happening to you. Why didn’t you tell me.” Santana said

“Because I was scared of how you would react. I was scared if you would say something like that’s every women’s dream.” I said

“We had sex that night for the first time. Were you just trying to wash them out or did you actually want it.” Santana asked

“I wanted it. Trust me if I could delete that day I wouldn’t because as horrible as it was the end of the day was amazing. You made that day change for me you turned one of the saddest most unsafe days of my life. Turn into the hottest, Sexiest, happiest most safe days of my life.” I said

“I love you.” Santana said

“I love you too.” I said

“Hey babe, Hey Y/N” Puck said as he entered

“Hi” I said

“Can you Scoot over so that I can kiss my girlfriend.” Puck said

“Sure I’m gonna go to the bathroom.” I said giving Santana sad eyes

I walked out and saw Artie standing at the bathroom door in front of the room I pushed him into it and turned on the light.

“What What What What?” Artie yelled

“How much of that did you see and hear.” I said

“YOU AND” Artie yelled

“Shhh be quiet.” I said

“You and Santana are dating each other.” Artie said looking at me

“Yes Artie you can’t til anyone she doesn’t want to come out of the closet yet.” I said

Meanwhile

“I don’t wanna kiss right now I want to comfort my friend. Why are you jealous.” Santana said

“No not jealous. Just I let you spend time alone with those dudes during football games and I know they raped her because she was gay but what if they did it to you.” Puck said

“But they didn’t and she needs us.” Santana said

Soon enough I left the bathroom with Artie and headed back to the room everyone else was already in there laying down again. Except for hope and the boys. I laid down let me snuggle back into her. She wrapped her legs around me I quickly fell back to sleep.

During the night Santana needed to get up so Quinn Switched spots with her. It switched throughout the night and the next day by the time I woke up I was in Brittnay’s arms.

“Good morning.” Brittnay said

“Tell me it didn’t actually happen?” I said

Santana and Quinn were stood at the door. “It happened.” Quinn said

“Where is everyone?” I asked

“Some of them are out getting food.” Santana said sitting on the bed and pulling me close to her as Quinn sat down

“Others went to get clothes and supplies to stay here again.” Quinn said

“Me and Matt went to get your school work. The cops want to talk to you at the school.” Hope said

“No I can’t. I can’t go back there all the kids are gonna look at me. The Sam way Puckerman did the second he saw me. They all watched the video including him.” I said

“You knew he saw it?” Quinn asked

“He was practically undressing me with his eyes.” I said

“Could we get the cops here?” Quinn asked

“NO NO NO cops. I can barely talk to you guys.” I said

“Okay No cops.” Santana said

“We will go get you some food.” Hope said dragging Matt with her

I leaned over to Santayana and whispered into her ear “Damn I don’t except that this how the three hottest cheerleaders at school would be in my bed. I thought about this and I was never crying.” I said

“Shut up” Santana said

“What did she say?” Quinn asked

“Nothing important she just said that she feels safe with strong women only being in the room with her.” Santana said

“Two strong women one strong sexy Latina goddess.” I whispered

“She just said I told you not to say that.” Santana said

“Well thank you for the compliment.” Quinn said

“Why isn’t Brittnay talking.” I asked turning over to see a sleeping Brittnay

“She didn’t sleep last night a lot of us didn’t our parents keep coming to check in on us.” Quinn said

“How are you feeling?” I asked

“Finn told my family about the baby so know I’m living with him and his mom.” Quinn said

“Are you still selling the baby to Off her Meds.” I asked

“No your freak out made me realize how stupid I was being plus she was giving me no money.” Quinn said

“What’s it like living with your ex-boyfriend.” I asked

“It’s better than her living with mine.” Santana said

“Don’t worry I told them. We realized after your outburst that maybe a friendship that has a ton of lies isn’t a good friendship.” Quinn said

“Well maybe you should go for puck.” I said reaching down for Santanas upper thigh

“Yeah you can have him he’s not that good anyway.” Santana said

“Finns family is nice.” Quinn said

Later that day I tried to go downstairs and eat dinner with everybody when there was a knock at the door. We were all sat down talking and eating takeout from Breadstix.

“Wait so you mean to tell me that the school has been shut down because of the incident.” I asked As Mr.Schue sat down with us.

“Not quit its shutdown until we know that it is completely safe for everyone.” Mr.Schue said

“Well I guess it is a better time than ever.” I said

“For what” everyone said looking at me.

“I called Principal Figgins today we both decided to have me go back for a week and if it doesn’t do good then I will transfer to Crawford Country Day.” I said

“What’s that?” Kurt asked

“I’ve heard of it it’s a girls only private school with a no bullying policy.” Mr.Schue said

“How do you know?” Finn asked

“They’re against us at sectionals.” Mr.Schue said

“Wait that means most likely we will be up against each other.” Santana asked

“Yes” Mr.Schue said

“Let’s talk about something else.” I said

“Like what.” Hope said

“Like what this means because I don’t even understand why you all are here what the second I step back into that school will you all disappear again.” I said

“You’re back in Glee.” Mr.Schue said

“Wait really.” I said

“Yes even if you don’t stay we will all support you.” Mr.Schue said

“Let’s change the subject before she starts to cry.” Santana said

I through a Breadstix at her

“My dad is gonna stop by later. With your stuff. He went and emptied out your locker at school and work.” Kurt said

“Thank you.” I said

As time went on Mr.Schue left and we were all sat on the couch watching a movie. I was sat over by Artie. As Santana and Puck made out. Artie grabbed my hand and pulled me away from looking at them. Tina and Kurt were sitting in front of us on the ground at our feet. When there was a knock on the door Santana went up to get it. I walked into the kitchen which was just off the living room but not visible from the door. Kurt had walked towards the stairs which was right in front of the door.

“We heard that hot fag who was in the sex tape. Was staying here. Oh wow you got two of them here. Hi faggy (he waved at kurt) we want a time like those guys got.” The guy said

“Yeah no you’re not going anywhere near her.” Santana said

“Why are you a Lesbo to?” The guys asked

“If we were.” Quinn asked

“Yeah” Rachel said

“You think you could take all of us” Hope said

“She dosent need to be fixed” Mercedes said

“Well I could change all of you.” He said

“Get away from the girls.” Puck said

I walked over there they weren’t getting hurt to protect me

“Wait aren’t you one of the guys who were there wait you all were the guys.” I said

“Ready for round two darling.” He said as he pushed Santana to the side Quinn put her arm in front of you

“Aren’t the cops looking for you.” I said

“Why would we get arrested we’re a bunch of consenting adults. The sad thing is that you have a bunch of underclassman protect you.” He said

“Yeah well you see we all might be seniors but guess what you all might have birthdays after October.” I said

“Yeah so what.” He said

“I have a Summer birthday which means that I am only 17.” I said

“Shit.” He said

The football boys tried to tackle most of them given it was 4 to 5. The boys tackled most of them Mr. Hummel arrived just in time pulling up and seeing the guy running he tackled him.

“I’m gonna call the cops.” Tina said

As she called the cops Santana lead you over to the spot where her and Puck used to be sitting. You layer your head on her lap and the rest of your body went over Quinn and Brittnay with your legs going on Mercedes and your feet on your sister they put a blanket over you. Santana messaged your head something she usually only did after you guys had sex. The cops came and arrested the guys

“Is she able to talk right now.” The cop asked Mr. Hummel

“Yes.” I said

”Okay can everyone leave.” The cop asked

“Can someone stay.” I asked

“Yes but they have to be someone who you will be okay with hearing you talk about it.” The cop said

Pucks definitely out, So is your sister she didn’t need to hear it all. “Burt can you stay.” I said looking at him near the tv

“She needs her friends after this so if you guys could just go upstairs or downstairs or something.” The cop said

“What do you remember?” The cop asked

“I have blacked a lot of it out, but they didn’t cut anything out of the video.” I said

“You watched the video?” Mr. Hummel asked

“Yeah I know that I probably shouldn’t have but everyone had seen me weak and vulnerable I kept replaying it in my head but it kept stopping when they all had a sick inside of me and then it would start over again. I wanted to watch them leave the room. I want to watch them leave me.” I said

“Okay are you sure those guys were the ones that rapped you.” The cop asked

“Yes those face are burned into my mind no matter what I do.” I said

“Sir will you be okay if your daughter’s friends stay over.” The cop asked Burt

“Yes, now can you bring those guys away before I do something that I will regret.” Burt said

The cops left

“Why did you go along when they said I was your daughter.” I asked

“Look I know that you’re not my actual child but I love you and care for you like one. You treat Kurt like a brother. Also I have been here two days and I have seen every other kids parents except for yours and you are the one who are hurt. Clearly your dad isn’t willing to be manly enough to take care of you so you are our daughter. Trust me I love you like a child and I am sure that a lot of the other parents you know feel the same way.” He said

“Thank you.” I said hugging him and crying

“GUYS THERE GONE.” I yelled

Everyone came upstairs.

“We all need to get some sleep.” I said

“Boys you can sleep in the Guest room downstairs me and the girls will sleep upstairs with her. That way she feels safe.” Rachel said

We all went our different ways. I went upstairs and went to my room. Well everyone else went to Santanas.

“I’ll go first.” Santana said

she went down the hallway to my room. Came into my room and locked the door.

“Come here.” Santana said

I ran into her arms and we kissed each other.

“Your boyfriends here.” I said

“I know.” She said

“They why.” I asked

“Because I saw how me making out with him during the movie affected you and I wanted to apologize. It’s you okay trust me if I fell for a man he would be a lot hotter than Noah.” Santana said

“Who’s Noah? Oh my god is that Pucks real name.” I said

“You will never let him live that down will you.” Santana asked leading me to the bathroom to brush my teeth.

After I brushed my teeth she was brushing hers with the brush she kept in my bathroom. “You wanna take a shower together?” I whispered in her ear.

“Hell yeah will just have to be quiet.” Santana said

“Okay.” I said

We both got naked and jumped into the shower.

“We have been talking about men touching you all week and how to cheer you up. I think that I can remind you why you like women and cheer you up.” Santana said

As she got on her knees and started opening me up with her fingers and then putting her tongue inside me. She was in the middle of doing it when I heard the door open. I popped my head out the curtain to see who it was. Shit shit shit it was Puckerman

“Hey what do you need?” I said

“Oh hey Y/N do you know where Santana is.” Puck asked

I tried my best not to moan as she brought me to my climax.

“Yeah I asked her to go buy me some Carmel ice cream and a hot tea. Before bed she asked me if there was anything that I needed. She should be back soon. If you wanna go downstairs and play video games with the dudes I’ll send her down there when she come back.” I said

“Do you know how long?” He asked

“Well she was gonna walk down the street to the house her parents were staying at and drive with her dad. So I don’t know maybe like 30-40 minutes. If she comes here first I will be sure to send her down to you. Just pls no sex she is the first one protecting me tonight.” I said

“Yeah no problem. Thanks Y/N you are a really good friend.” Puck said as he left and shut the door

I gripped onto the sides finally allowing myself to orgasm.

“you taste so good.” She said coming up to kiss me

“No no no I had a full blown conversation with your boyfriend as you fucked me.” I said

”Okay so what do you want me to do?” Santana asked

“I don’t know. He can beat me up okay if he could til that you were actually here instead of at the store I would be dead.” I said

“Okay well you gave us 30-40 minutes I can think of several things I can do you just have to lie down.” Santana said

“You know I want that. But you can’t look like you just got out of the shower he will kill me.” I said

“Okay well we are finishing this when this whole situation is over. Okay the second it’s just you and me in this house we are having hot steamy shower sex.” Santana said

“Oh please yes.” I said

“I’m just scared okay come on there’s women letting you snuggle into them all night long and I’m scared you’ll fall for one of them. Okay you already have a crush on Brittnay and Quinn what if they develop feelings and you leave me.” Santana said

“I will never leave you I promise.” I said

“Oh really.” Santana said

How was I supposed to tell her that we only had a few months left this summer this June we would have to over legally.

“Yes” I said

Santana dried off and put some clothes on and went downstairs. I was laying in bed waiting for my Latina Goddess. When Mercedes came in.

“Hey chocolate angle. What’s up?” I asked

“There’s so much drama going on I don’t know who’s gonna stay and who gonna leave. Everyone except for Rachel and Finn. Have found out that Pucks the father. Because he told me and I opened my stupid mouth.” Mercedes said

“Well Santana might be mad at Quinn for sleeping with her boyfriend.” Mercedes said

Santana came up stairs “No Me Gusta , No me Gusta” she said crying as she went into the room and shut the door

“Well I guess I’m all yours still in secret but I am all yours.” Santana said smiling and kissing me

“Finally.” I said

I woke up in the middle of the night cuddling into I don’t know who I went to grab my water from the side of the better. Falling on top of the person.

“Babe what do you need? It’s me Santana” Santana said

“Oh good I just need my water.” I said

“We aren’t switching tonight we decided that since you were scared to sleep alone that we just shouldn’t switch. As you need someone you trust.” Santana said

“Good okay well I’m going back to sleep.” I said

The next day I woke up late in the afternoon as I had been. From all the crying. “Hey sleepy head.” Quinn said

“Coffee” I said like a zombie

“Do you wanna do anything today?” Kurt asked

“Coffee” I said like a zombie

Just as I said it Santana rounded the corner with a coffee for me

“You’re my favorite.” I said grabbing the Coffee from here

I sat down at the table with everyone. “You know we really do feel like a family like this. I feel like we are a family just one where half the people have slept with each other.” I said

“Oh shut up. Atleast we ask the people we like out.” Quinn said

“You try being gay every hot dude is straight.” Kurt said

“Yeah every hot woman is straight. You guys are the luckiest sexuality.” I said

“You’re hot and you’re a lesbian so there clearly are hot women who like women.” Puck said

“Thanks Puck but find another hot woman who likes women and we will talk.” I said

“There’s plenty of hot lesbian celebrities.” Rachel said

“Like who and don’t say Ellen or Portia.” I said

“Well there’s or there’s.” Rachel said

“Suze Orman , Cynthia Nixon” Kurt said

“K fine one. The gay community has plenty.” I said

“Sure we do like who.” Kurt said

“Ricky Martin, Neil Patrick Harris, Johnathan Groff, Rock Hudson, Cary Grant, Tab Hunter, Roman Novarro.” I said

“Okay well if we’re going that route you also got Audrey Hepburn.” Kurt said

“Not my type.” I said

“Hot, Can pull off short hair.” I said

“Yeah well.” Kurt said

“Face it most hot celebrity men are gay.” I said

“Most lesbian look like they crawled out of spending a week in Lowe’s .” Kurt said

“Lowe’s .” I said

“What?” Quinn questioned

“Kurt why did you do this?” Hope asked

“What did he do?” Rachel asked

“He said the word you know how you don’t say candy around kids. You really shouldn’t say the H word or the L word near Lesbians. You also shouldn’t watch the L word with Lesbians they go feral.” Hope said

“That we’re I wanna go today Lowe’s .” I said

“We don’t have a Lowe’s .” Rachel said

“No but Columbus does.” I said

“We aren’t going to Lowe’s .” Santana said

“Plssssss. It will make me happy.” I said

“Fine but only a few of us are coming” Santana said

”Okay I’ll go get my clothes on” I said running up the stairs

“Lowe’s is a lesbians Sephora.” Kurt said

“Nothing in that sentence made sense but I like Lowe’s so I’ll go with her.” Puck said

“Do you really think that it’s a good idea to go with your ex-girlfriend.” Artie asked

“Actually Wheels is right. But us footballers need to go just in case she runs into people from school.” Puck said

“Lowe’s is my happy place I could get lost in there for hours. My use to just drop me and my dad off when it opened and we stay there til it closed.” Matt said

“Okay well whatever makes her happy right.” Finn said

“Okay who’s coming.” I said as I looked for my keys

Once Matt, Finn, Puck, Mike and Me were in the car we drove off. Santana wanted to stay back with the girls and Kurt who were watching the notebook and getting a pedicure and manicure. That would suck on a Santana I guess you weren’t getting fucked anytime soon. Artie got picked up by his parents during breakfast they wanted him to go home and be able to function around normally.

We headed on the hour long drive. “Do you guys wanna listen to music.” I asked

“What do you have.” Mike asked

“Don’t judge me I have Nickelback, Limp Bizkit and Metallica.” I said

“Oh my god Yes. I thought that you were gonna say something like Justin Biber” Finn said

“I bet your girlfriend loves those first four words.” I said

“Are you kidding me none of the hot girls at our school will let anyone to fuck them.” Mike said

“Wait I thought that they were atleast giving it to the dude’s. I dated one of the Cheerios the one in the Neck brace for like 1 year and 2 months and nothing.” I said

“Have you pulled anybody.” Matt said

“Well I know that you have pulled my sister Matt and Puck pulled Santana. I have a cheerio who I have pulled.” I said

“So I guess me and Mike are the only virgins.” Finn said

“Speak for yourself buddy.” Mike said

“You’re a Virgin?” I said

“Not for the lack of trying.” Finn said

“Let’s just listen to music and not listen to Finsters pathetic sex life.” Puck said

“Puck you fucked his girlfriend don’t think that you can say much. Well you had the hottest girl in the school giving you access. Nothing against Quinn she’s okay but Santanas really hot.” I said

“Wow sounds like you have a crush on our girls.” Finn said

“They’re not your property.” I said “Also it isn’t for the lack of trying to get a crush on anyone else I just have good taste. Don’t worry we haven’t done anything.” I said

“can we just listen to the radio.” Matt said

“Sure.” I said

Popping in the disk for Limp Bizkit. With in seconds we were all singing along.

It's just one of those days When you don't wanna wake up Everything is fucked Everybody sucks You don't really know why But you wanna justify Rippin' someone's head off No human contact And if you interact Your life is on contract Your best bet is to stay away, motherfucker! It's just one of those days

It's all about the he says/she says bullshit I think you better quit lettin' shit slip Or you'll be leavin' with a fat lip It's all about the he says/she says bullshit I think you better quit talkin' that shit

It's just one of those days Feelin' like a freight train First one to complain Leaves with a blood stain Damn right, I'm a maniac You better watch your back 'Cause I'm fuckin' up your program And if you're stuck up You're just lucked up Next in line to get fucked up Your best bet is to stay away, motherfucker! It's just one of those days

I feel like shit My suggestion is to keep your distance 'Cause right now I'm dangerous We've all felt like shit And been treated like shit All those motherfuckers that want to step up I hope you know I pack a chain saw I'll skin your ass raw And if my day keeps goin' this way I just might break somethin' tonight I pack a chainsaw I'll skin your ass raw And if my day keeps goin' this way I just might break somethin' tonight I pack a chainsaw I'll skin your ass raw And if my day keeps goin' this way I just might break your fuckin' face tonight

Give me somethin' to break Give me somethin' to break Just give me somethin' to break How 'bout your fuckin' face? I hope you know I pack a chainsaw (what?) A chainsaw (what?) A motherfuckin' chainsaw (what?) So come and get it

We were soon coming close to the Home Depot. “Damn why didn’t you sing with us. During the Girls vs Boys week.” Finn asked

“Same reason Kurt had to perform with you guys. Mr.Schue dosen’t care what kind of voice you have. Even if I have a bass voice. (I imagine this character being able to hit almost every note but most comfortable at bass Tim foust level) What he told me was to sing at a higher range to match the girls. So that you boys had something to sing” I said

“But none of us can go that low.” Puck said

“Yeah well I won’t have to hide my ability if I switched schools actually I would be used a lot because they do Acapella.” I said

“What’s that” They all asked

“They don’t use any instruments they use there mouths.” I said

“So many gay jokes just popped in my head” Puck said

“You know I actually like having straight friends.” I said

We pulled into the Lowe’s parking lot around 3:00. We all entered and went our separate ways I found some cool lights that went on the ceiling they were meant for kids which I legally still was. I grabbed a Princes one, A space one, A car one and A couple that had music notes. I grabbed an extra Princess one for Brittnay and when I grabbed it I found a ton of superhero ones. I just decided to get all of them I pull all of the cases in my cart. They were only 50 cents each. I moved farther back into the store looking for stuff for my bedroom. When I went to the Key section. Santanas Dad had give me his since I moved in I might as well get one of my own. I walked over to the worker and looked at the designs.

“Do you guys add pictures to keys?” I asked

“Yes we can.” He said “Do you have the photo”

“Yes.” I said pulling up a picture of me and Glee Club

“Oh yes just send that to this machine it has the email on the screen.” He said

As it popped up on the screen. He asked “Who are those people.”

“The club I am in at school.” I said

“Oh what club.” He asked

“Glee club.” I said

“What highschool.” He asked

“McKinley high” I said

“Oh my god my niece goes there Santana Lopez.” He said

“Oh my god she’s in that photo.” I said

“Are you to close.” He asked

“Yes we’re friends.” I said

“Do you know this kid she’s letting live with them. That’s so sweet that they’re doing that.” He said

“Yes it is given that I am that kid It is extremely sweet of them.” I said

“Oh my god My brother love you he says he wishes you were part of the family. He sees you as a daughter.” He said

“That’s nice to know. Hey do you know if Santana would like anything here.” I asked

“Yes here’s your keys. I’ll lead you over to it.” He said

Leading me over to there summer stuff and over to a Dunk tank.

“Are you sure?” I asked

“She’s been saving up money for the past 4 years to buy it. It’s been her dream to have one since she was a kid.” He said

“Really it’s been my dream too. I just don’t have space for it.” I said

“I’m one of the drivers I could drive it over to there house and put it in there backyard if you can afford it.” He said

“Oh don’t worry I’m a senior and I got a job my freshman year that makes me 150$ dollars an hour and I have been saving so.” I said

“You must be really good friends.” He said “ Here’s the tag just say I need Lopez to drive it. I’ll give you a family discount.”

I went walking around and found the perfect gift for Kurt and Rachel a light switch with musical theater Quotes on it. I found lights for Wheelchairs for Artie since his went out and a cushion to make him more comfortable. I found a boyfriend pillow for Quinn. I was walking around and found the perfect gift for Puck was Light switch cover that looked like well looked like a dick. I found supply’s to build a portable dance floor for Mike and a mini fridge for Finn and one for me. A nice head lamp for Matt since I had broken his on accident. I found a decorative pillow set for my sister. I don’t even realize how long I had been in the store until I heard them say that they were closing in 20 minutes they closed at 11:00pm wow I totally lost track of time. Luckily I saw that the boys had too. I went and checked out. I saw Mr.Lopez and waved him over and asked him to drop the dunk tank and the mini fridges off tomorrow around 7:00am. I looked at the total nothing unusual from my usual shopping spree at Home Depot. It was only 4,000 dollars but it was worth the smile my friends would have. We all drove back and arrived at midnight luckily we had my key the boys went downstairs I locked the front door and went outside and out to the shed with Mr.Lopez and My power tools and started working on mikes dance floor. It was waist to add the hinges and the foldable part. After that I easily added the kick down stands and a handle. I had just started painting it when I heard the door open.

“Hi, what are you doing” Santana asked wrapping her arms around me

“What time is it?” I asked

”Four I couldn’t sleep without you.” Santana said

“Wow am I making Santana Lopez soft.” I said

“No.” Santana said

“You sleep without me all the time.” I said

“it’s different I know where you are.” Santana said as I continued to paint

“What are you doing.” She asked

“I can’t tell you the suprise would be ruined.” I said

“Go back upstairs I will be up there in 30 minutes. I love you” I said

“Love you too.” Santana said

I finished painting the board it roughly looked like

(Pardon my bad art skills I just use them usually for construction)

I left it out to dry and head upstairs into my bedroom. I shut the door I took my clothes off threw a t- shirt on and went and cuddled into Santana. Setting my alarm clock to go off quietly at 6:00am. I went to sleep at 4:50 and got almost an hour and 20 minutes of sleep. Then I woke up to my alarm and headed downstairs. I made myself some coffee and drank it and then I ate a plantain. I headed outside and grabbed a table from the Garage and set up a nice area to eat and put everyone’s gift at there spot except for Santana, Finn, Mine, Mikes and Quinn’s. I waited until Mr.Lopez pulled into the backyard and dropped all the big stuff off. I knew that it must have waked a lot of people up. Luckily I had also Santanas dad get six dozen donuts and some juices. From actual good places not Lima.

Soon enough everyone started coming downstairs and heading outside.

“What is this?” Rachel asked

”it’s just a thank you for what you all did. We have donuts, Juice, Gifts that you will hopefully like.” I said

“What ever gift you think I would get for you is where you sit.” I said

“Hey do I not have a gift.” Mike said walking over too you

“The big platform over there.” I said

Soon Santana walked downstairs

“Hey Y/N do we have any gifts?” Finn asked and pointed between him and his ex-girlfriend

“Yep Finn I got you that mini fridge over there and I got you this I said holding up the boyfriend pillow.” I said

“What is it?” Quinn asked

”It’s a boyfriend pillow it helps during your pregnancy but it also really helps after if you just want something to hold in your arms.” I said

“Thank you it’s good to have someone who knows what I’m going through back.” Quinn said

“What is this?” Santana said walking over too you

“The suprise. I was working on Mikes dance floor last night and this is your gift.” I said moving out of the way of the dunk tank

“How did you know?” She asked

“I ran into your uncle.” I said

“Don’t worry they don’t know that it’s for you. I got you that mini fridge over there if they ask even though it’s actually mine now come on and let’s go eat donuts with everyone else.” I said

“Okay well I know that this isn’t a fancy dinner or anything but I have a toast. Thank you I don’t know how I would have made it through the past four days without you. Okay as I’m standing up I’m realizing how much this looks like a fast and furious scene except a lot more white pepole. Anyway you guys are my family and friends I never believed it when other clubs said that or seniors said that but you guys are my family. I can’t wait to be apart of it again even if I leave I need you guys by my side. This next week is gonna be the hardest week of my life so far and I’m glad that I can run to you guys if I need anything. I get that I am the upperclassman here but we’re all in highschool. Nothing changes the older you get time just goes by quicker I’m glad I get this year and hopefully next year being your friend.” I said

I sat down and put my hand on her hip

“Who am I?” She whispered in my ear

“What do you mean who are you?” I said

“You said this is fast and furious am I Mia or Letty.” She asked

Oh my god She was a Letty and I was a Brian. Lefty’s don’t need Brian’s they need Dom’s

“You’re a Letty. A hot ass Latina badass just like you.” I said

We all sat there having our family breakfast before the hell fire the next day.

“Hey Rachel how’s your crush on our teacher going?” I asked

“How did you know?” She said

“Because you ain’t the first before you guys started there was a really hot female teacher.” I said

“Why couldn’t I have been there.” Puck said

“She was a lesbian.” I said

“What happened?” Rachel asked

“Nothing she was an Olympic swimmer before she started teaching she taught for one year and then left to be a swimsuit model.” I said

“Oh so she was like hot enough to be a model.” Puck asked

“She was hot enough to be more than a swimsuit model if she wanted to be.” I said

“Damn” puck said

Santana started to pinch me I had clearly had gone too far. I wasn’t used to being in a stable relationship. I would have to get used to this. After breakfast everybody left.

“So what do you want to do before my parents get home tomorrow.” Santana asked

“I want to watch a movie with you if that’s okay.” I said

“You wanna watch a movie and make out.” Santana asked

“We’re not upstairs what if we get caught?” I said

“We can go watch on the Tv downstairs.” Santana said

“Awsome.” I said Grabbing a hold of her hand and pulling her downstairs

“What do you wanna watch?” Santana asked

“Transformers?” I said

“Wow did I just switch Puck out for a female Puck.” I said

“How are you not like Puck.” Santana asked

“four fold one I can’t get anyone pregnant, two According to you I am better at Sex than he is, three I will NEVER cheat on you and four I have you in my arms right now and he doesn’t.” I said leaning down to kiss her

“Cuddles?” She asked as she snuggled into me

“Yes Cuddles” I said

The next day

Was decent except for it being obvious that pretty much everyone was picturing me naked all day. It was towards the end of the day. I only had one period left so 50 minutes. I kept my head down luckily this was one of my electives. Which was weight lifting the room was divided into the boys and girls. I just needed a physical education credit and didn’t like working with others so I signed up for this. Which was only taught one period but anyone in sports had to take it. Which made me very uncomfortable as the dudes kept staring.

“Okay split up into groups of two so that you can have spotters.” Coach Sylvester said

“Hey Britt can you be my spotter.” Quinn asked

“Yeah sure let’s go find a Bench.” Brittnay said

“Looks like I’m your partner.” Santana said smiling

“They keep staring at me.” I said

I got up and walked over to the single bench in the corner away from the others

“How much?” Santana asked

“What are we doing today?” I asked

Santana came closer and whispered “We’re doing bench babe are you okay.” Santana asked

“150 lbs” I said

I said as I lied down on the bench

“Are you sure you’re okay?” She asked

”No the girls kept staring at me as I changed. I felt horrible. I expected it from the guys but not from other girls. One of them when I got naked shouted out the same thing that the dude said when he saw me naked.I think that I might just stay in these clothes til we get home.” I said

“No you’ll come into the sports side of the changing room.” Santana said

“You will get introuble.” I said

Sue was making her rounds “Hey coach?” Santana asked quietly

“Yes Santana?” Sue said

“Look with the video situation. Can Y/N change in the Cheerio locker room when it’s mine and Quinn and Brittnay’s time.” Santana asked

“Yes” Sue said

“Thank you Coach” I said

“Are you gonna stay here?” Santana asked

“You know I would but I’ve just wanted to cry all day today.” I said changing the weights for her

“Yeah well I will come watch everything you do with the private school.” Santana said

“I will come support you to. Nothing is gonna change much.” I said

“Are you kidding me I walk certain ways to my classes just so that I can see you.” Santana said

“Okay well we will see each other’s performances. Trust me you’re the only reason I watch high school football games and I will come watch sectionals. I will see you before school and after school and on the weekends.” I said

“I’m gonna miss you.” Santana said

“Can you do one thing for me?” I asked

“Of course what?” Santana asked

“Protect Hope treat her like how I would I need someone to protect her but also tease her.” I said

“Ofcourse I already pretty much do that. Let’s head to the Locker room we can’t be late to your first glee club meeting back and last glee meeting.” Santana said

We went to the Cheerio Locker room and changed. Then we both headed to Glee club.

“Y/N you said you have a songs that you wanted to sing.” Mr.Schue said

“Yes sir.” I said

You tell me it gets better, it gets better in time You say I'll pull myself together, pull it together You'll be fine Tell me what the hell do you know What do you know Tell me how the hell could you know How could you know

'Til it happens to you, you don't know How it feels How it feels 'Til it happens to you, you won't know It won't be real No it won't be real Won't know how it feels

You tell me hold your head up Hold your head up and be strong 'Cause when you fall, you gotta get up You gotta get up and move on

Tell me, how the hell could you talk How could you talk? 'Cause until you walk where I walk It's just all talk

'Til it happens to you, you don't know How it feels How it feels 'Til it happens to you, you won't know It won't be real (how could you know?) No it won't be real (how could you know?) Won't know how I feel

'Til your world burns and crashes 'Til you're at the end, the end of your rope 'Til you're standing in my shoes, I don't wanna hear nothing from you From you, from you, 'cause you don't know

'Til it happens to you, you don't know How I feel How I feel How I feel 'Til it happens to you, you won't know It won't be real (how could you know?) No it won't be real (how could you know?) Won't know how it feels

'Til it happens to you, happens to you Happens to you Happens to you, happens to you Happens to you (how could you know?)

'Til it happens to you, you won't know how I feel

“Can I sing my last song at the end?” I asked

“Ofcourse.” Mr.Schue said

“We have prepared a song for you Y/N” Finn said

Everyone in Glee club except you got down

Santana

Hope

Quinn

Finn

Puck

Rachel

Mercedes

Tina

Kurt

Brittnay

Artie

Everyone

And I never thought I'd feel this way And as far as I'm concerned I'm glad I got the chance to say That I do believe I love you And if I should ever go away Well, then close your eyes and try To feel the way we do today And then if you can remember

Keep smilin', keep shinin' Knowing you can always count on me for sure That's what friends are for

For good times and bad times I'll be on your side forever more That's what friends are

Well, you came and opened me And now there's so much more I see And so by the way I thank you

Oh and then for the times when we're apart Well, then close your eyes and know These words are coming from my heart And then if you can remember

Oh, keep smilin' and keep shinin' Knowing you can always count on me for sure That's what friends are for

In good times and bad times I'll be on your side forever more Oh, that's what friends are for

Keep smilin', keep shinin' Knowing you can always count on me for sure That's what friends are for For good times and bad times I'll be on your side forever more That's what friends are for

Keep smilin', keep shinin' Knowing you can always count on me for sure 'Cause I tell you that's what friends are for For good times and for bad times

I'll be on your side forever more That's what friends are for (that's what friends are for, ya)

On me for sure (count on me for sure, count on me for sure) That's what friends are for

Keep smilin', keep shinin'

“Thank you.” I said crying “ I’m gonna miss seeing you guys every day I wrote my phone number on the board and you all know where I live if you need anything.”

I walked over and grabbed the gutair and sat on a stool.

Daddy, I'm afraid, won't you stay a little while? Keep me safe 'cause there's monsters right outside Daddy, please don't go, I don't wanna be alone 'Cause the second that you're gone they're gonna know Before he went to bed he grabbed my hand and said

Just 'cause I'm leavin' It don't mean that I won't be right by your side When you need me And you can't see me in the middle of the night Just close your eyes and say a prayer It's okay, I know you're scared when I'm not here But I'll always be right there Even though I'm leavin', I ain't goin' nowhere

Dad, we'll be late, and Uncle Sam don't like to wait He's got a big old plane that's gonna take me far away I know I act tough, but there's a churnin' in my gut 'Cause I just can't call you up when things get rough Before I left, he hugged my neck and said

Just 'cause you're leavin' It don't mean that I won't be right by your side When you need me And you can't see me in the middle of the night Just close your eyes and say a prayer It's okay, I know you're scared, I might be here But I'll always be right there Even though you're leavin', I ain't goin' nowhere

Daddy, I'm afraid, won't you stay a little while? I never thought I'd see the day I had to say goodbye Daddy, please don't go, I can't do this on my own There's no way that I can walk this road alone Well, daddy grabbed my hand and said

Just 'cause I'm leavin' It don't mean that I won't be right by your side When you need me And you can't see me in the middle of the night Just close your eyes and say a prayer It's okay, boy, I ain't scared I won't be here, but I'll always be right there Even though I'm leavin', I ain't goin' nowhere I ain't goin' nowhere

“Okay well everyone go home.” Mr.Schue said

“You’re really not here. Anymore” Santana said putter her arm around me

“Your officialy our competition.” Kurt said

“Not until regionals they had to change groups so that we had more time to practice with me joining. I said

“Oh will make it to regionals and you’re going down.” Rachel said

“Bye guys” I said waving and dragging Santana towards the car

I pounce we got in the car I put my head in my hands

“Well this isn’t what I planned for this year at all. I planned on keeping my head down and not doing anything. I planned on staying here at McKinley staying in the closet and being single. But I will choose this everytime.” I said putting one hand on the steering wheel and holding Santanas hand with the other.

#lesbain #queer #lesbian community #quinn fabray imagine #quinn fabray x reader #santana lopez #santana lopez imagine #glee #glee x reader

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crashdevlin · 2 years ago

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Leftoverture 5- Still a Blind Man

Author’s Note: Don’t get me wrong, I loved the finale, but I was thinking about how much I miss Dean and I couldn’t stop thinking about ways I could have him back so…I’m going canon divergent while being as close to canon as possible. ‘Cause that’s how Cassie do. Leftoverture crosses over with Crash Into Me !

Summary: Dean throws in the towel a lot faster than Sam would like. Something's not quite right about Crash giving in and Sam's going to figure it out if Dean won't.

Pairing: Dean x OFC (Crash)

Word count: 1986

Story Warnings: angst, Post-barn scene sads, mentions of major character deaths (Dean and AU!Sam), mentions of depression and suicidal thoughts, memory fuckery, Chuck being an asshole, lots of pain and horribleness, mentions of brainwashing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sam came into the garage as Dean pulled in, obviously expecting to welcome his sister-in-law and step-niece home. His face fell when Dean got out of the car and slammed the door.

"What happened? Where's Cassie?"

"She stayed in Florida," Dean snapped. "With Chuck."

Sam's eyes went wide. "What?"

"Yeah. Apparently, Chuck cozied up to her parents and moved into Crash's room after we let him live." Dean stomped toward the stairs. "He's been calling himself 'Erik' and got in her head about our relationship and her self-esteem has taken a dive because that's always been an issue for her and he knows exactly what issues she has 'cause he's Chuck!"

"Wait, but...but you're alive so why wouldn't she-"

"Because he made her think that we were only together because he wrote it!" He had to take a deep breath to control his emotions about it. "Which is bullshit! Chuck might have pushed her into my life, but he didn't make her the woman I fell for. He didn't...I mean, he wrote circumstances! He didn't write personalities! He didn't write the way she kissed me or how she sings or how she always puts every single person in the world in front of herself and how she never shoulda fallen for a fuck-up like me or…"

He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "She told me to leave. Not even for the kid's wellbeing or to keep from having to deal with my next inevitable demise...Chuck said he was the only reason a woman like her ended up with a guy like me and she ate it up. She downed it like poison and turned in on herself immediately. It was like he confirmed every fear and suspicion she had about our relationship and it...I shouldn’t have even gone. She was better off…" Dean clicked his tongue against his teeth and started down the stairs. "Better off thinking I was dead."

"Dean, get out of the damn pity party for a minute, okay?" Sam followed him into the Bunker. "If you hadn't gone, if you hadn't let her know you’re alive, you wouldn't know that Chuck had infiltrated her life. What are you going to do abou-"

"Nothing." Dean turned in the hallway, looking up at his brother. "I'm not gonna do anything. She knows who he is and what he's done and she sent me home. She made her choice."

"Choice? What choice?"

"To believe him! To look at our whole relationship and boil it all down to one moment that Chuck created, one situation where he pushed her out of her norm, and decide that everything after that was him!" He scoffed. "Every night I laid awake thinking about her smile, every dream I had about some balance of domestic bliss and hunting with her, every song I can't listen to anymore without thinking of her, every dumb green witch or Vegas lights, frickin' Tombstone I associate with her too, but fuck, it was all Chuck, right? It was Chuck that made me fall in love with her."

His whole posture went from anger and fire to dejected and depressed. "Whatever. Chuck can have her."

"You don't mean that," Sam disputed.

Dean gave a sad smile. "You remember when she was with Mike? He would put her down, make her feel bad about herself, encourage her bad habits and self-destruction. 'Tween him and Chuck...seems like she's got a type and I'm not it." He started down the hallway toward his room. "I'm gonna go get a few hours. I've gotta be at the firehouse at seven."

"Dean. Wait a-"

"It's probably better this way. Bunker's no place for kids, anyway."

"This is bullshit," Sam growled. "You were looking for a reason not to bring her home with you!"

"She chose to stay!" Dean called back as he turned the corner. "Speaks volumes."

Sam shook his head, pulling his phone out. "I'm calling her!"

"Tell her I made it home safe!" Dean shouted before slamming his door shut.

~~~~

Sam sighed as he looked down at his phone. She didn't answer. He called four times and she didn't answer once. His sister was avoiding his calls, there was no other reason she wouldn't answer. He had to hope she would read a text.

Dean got home and said you chose to stay in Florida with Chuck and I just don’t understand why. Will you please call me back to explain this?

He set the phone on the table and ran his hand through his hair.

"I'm not sure when I'll be back," Dean said, walking into the library as he adjusted his white Lebanon Fire Department polo shirt. "But I'll bring beer when I come home."

"Dean, you can't just carry on like--like you aren't in agony about-"

"Watch me." Dean's tone was nothing more than a challenge, his face as hard as stone. "I'll be home tonight."

"He has your daughter." Sam stood and looked across the library. Dean bit his lip and looked at the floor. "Chuck has Aria. Even if you don't care about Cassie, and I know you're trying to convince yourself of that, you definitely care about what happens to that little girl. With Chuck in her life...and Mike still in her life...what do you think is gonna happen to her?"

Dean swallowed and gave his head a single shake before he started walking toward the garage. "Doesn't matter. She's not my daughter. Her step-daddy got killed saving two other little kids."

"If she's not your daughter, then I'm not your brother," Sam called after him. Dean stopped in the hallway. "Can't have it both ways, Dean. Either you are Dean, and everything that was his is yours, or you're not. You gotta make up your mind."

Sam watched Dean's shoulders tense, then release before he walked away. He scratched at his brow as his brother's form disappeared. "What do I do, Dean?" he whispered before picking up his phone and trying to text his sister-in-law again.

~~~~~~~~~

Three days of Cassie ignoring his calls and texts, and Dean ignoring that there was an issue, drove Sam to a slightly extreme option.

"Hello?" a soft, high-pitched voice answered the phone.

"Hey, Aria. It's Uncle Sam."

"I know. I saw it on the phone. Hi, Uncle Sam."

"Oh. I wasn't sure if you had my number in your contacts." He cleared his throat. "I've been trying to get a hold of your mom and she's not answering her phone. Do you know where she is?"

"She's in Erik's room. He's helping her meditate."

"She's-" Sam pushed his hair out of the way and looked around, despite the fact that Dean was out of the Bunker. "She's alone with Erik?"

"Yeah. He helps Mum meditate every day." She sighed dramatically and it almost made Sam smile. "She's weird when she gets done though. I'm sorry if that's mean to say that."

"What do you mean?"

"She walks weird and talks all slow and she's like when she drinks beers."

"Beers? Like she's drunk?"

"Yeah. Like when her and Dean would sit in the Dean Cave and have drinks and watch movies and she would get kinda wobbly but not sick wobbly? That's what she's like after."

Sam could hear worry in the young girl's voice. "Oh, okay. I'm...I'm sure that's just how the meditation is affecting her," he tried to soothe her. "She is probably just really relaxed after."

"Okay."

"Can you tell me if your mom has been acting weird other than just after meditation with Ch--Erik?"

"Um...she's dressing up a lot...and wearing makeup again, but all the time, not just when she's going out."

"Is, uh, is Erik your mom's boyfriend?" Sam didn’t want to know the answer, but he felt that he needed to know so that he could give Dean the full picture.

"I saw him kiss her."

"Right." Sam was more than a little upset that Dean's jealous assumption was right. "Um...that’s okay. Can you...do you know how to text?"

"Yeah."

"Do me a favor; if you see your mom acting really weird, text me."

"So she doesn't hear me on the phone with you?"

"So Erik doesn't hear," Sam corrected.

"Okay."

"Thank you."

"I miss Dean. Is he ever coming back?"

Sam ran his hand through his hair and sighed. "I'm working on it, sweetie."

"Okay. I hope you get him back soon. Mum isn't the same without him."

"Me either." Sam looked up at the ceiling and sighed. "I'll fix this. Just keep an eye on your mom for me, okay?"

"Okay!"

"Bye, Aria."

"Bye, Uncle Sam," she whispered before the call disconnected.

~~~~~~~~

"Dean, we need to talk." Sam had the words prepared, he just needed his brother to actually listen to them.

Dean shook his head, not looking up from his sheet of firefighter radio codes. "Nope."

"Just listen, then." Sam sat down across from him, hoping Dean would give eye contact, but not being given the satisfaction. "I called Aria's phone and-"

Dean's eyes snapped up. "You what?"

"I called Aria's phone," Sam repeated. "And she misses you. She misses who her mom is with you. She wants to come back."

"She's a ten year old. She's fine without me."

"No, she's not. She's not fine and neither is Cassie. She's--she's weird. Aria said Cassie is weird since Chuck's been around. I think he's doing something to her."

Dean looked back down, putting back up his defenses. "I'm sure he's fucking her by now. She never has had much resistance to a guy who thinks he's God's gift and treats her like crap. This one just happens to be God."

"D-Dean, that's...what the fuck is wrong with you?"

Dean looked up with a tired expression on his face. "What do you want from me, Sam? I died. She left. Chuck got his sights on her. She moved on with him...sent me home to…"

"Did she say she moved on with him? Or did she want you to be with her?" Dean shook his head dismissively but Sam continued before he could argue. "Because Aria says Erik has been helping Cassie meditate. I think he's been fucking with her head and if I'm right, you are leaving her to be controlled by Chuck just like we were controlled our whole damn lives!"

Dean ran his hand down his face. "I don't think so. She looked clear to me. Yeah, she was excited to see me and then she lied and said that 'Erik' was just a nice guy living in her old room and then she chose to stay-"

"What if she didn't know she was lying? What if he's brainwashing her? We've seen that normal humans can do massive damage to a person's psyche with the right psych knowledge and a bit of magic assistance. Chuck would know-"

"Why would he even do that?" Dean argued. "He didn't know I was coming back, he didn't write it, so he couldn't have set this up to punish me."

"Maybe it's a power trip. I just know that this isn't just Cassie falling victim to her poor self worth. She's fallen victim to him."

"Yeah, that's a nice, convenient, coincidence, but I think you're missin' the horse for the zebra." Dean stood, snatching the paper off of the table. "She moved on. She's allowed to do that. Let 'er move on."

"I don't think I can do that." Sam stood and headed in the direction of the garage. "And I don't know how you can."

"Leave it alone!" Dean called after him.

Sam didn’t respond as he picked up his bag of clothes and tossed it in the back of the old pickup truck. He had to know, one way or the other, what the hell was going on in Walton.

~~~~~

The Kitchen Sink Tags- @flamencodiva @sacriceria @lyarr24 @440mxs-wife @nancymcl @stephv213 @mariekoukie6661 @beachy2014 @alwayskeepfightingsweetheart @cosicas-cuquis @queenoftheunderdark @myheartbelongsintz @squirrelnotsam @akshi8278 @muhahaha303 @agirlwithdemonblood

#cassie writes stuff #spn fanfic #crash into me #fix it fic #dean x crash

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gracebriarwoodwrites · 1 year ago

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15, 20, 27, 36

15.) name one musical album that greatly impacted your life? why?

Wasteland, Baby! by Hozier might be kind of recent, but it's the only answer I can give for this. This album sustains my soul.

Waiting on it kept me going while I was struggling. I caught the first concert of the US leg of the tour and was lucky enough to see a second concert, the last show I saw before the pandemic. Each show was spiritual in its own way. Nina Cried Power was a protest anthem my friends and I relied on in 2020, and the first song my sister and I played blaring from the car's speakers when we got the election news. To Noise Making (Sing) is the song I reach for when my voice feels far from me. I've never seen the ways that I love reflected so well in another's art as I do in some of the songs on this album.

I've loved a lot of albums, but no other album has kept me going or helped me to have a better impact on the world.

20.) who was your very first artistic inspiration?

Patricia C. Wrede, author of Dealing with Dragons! I was a reader as a kid, and I got lost in the Enchanted Forest Chronicles. I noticed that I got a lot of confidence and a lot of joy from her books, and I started thinking about what I might want to give people if I did start writing my own stories. 27.) your latest obsession? and why?

Perfume! I love the artistry of it, and I love the way that scent can evoke memory. I have a perfume journal that I'm trying to catalogue all of my impressions in. I want to understand it! 36.) your favorite mantra to live by?

Everyone is doing their best.

#thank you for the questions ily

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littlequeen7 · 2 years ago

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I have barely any followers so I dont expect anybody to see this. But if there is any place to talk about my love for Taylor, it is here.

I've had a few people ask me why I love Taylor Swift so much. I understand why they ask, and why I might get weird looks, parasocial relationships and whatnot. But what they don't understand and what I have a hard time communicating is that Taylor is more than just music to me.

We grew up together. I'm five and a half years younger than her, so she completely shaped my adolescence. When Debut came out I was just starting the 6th grade, the grade when I learned some harsh lessons about bullying and friendships.

Fearless came out in the middle of 8th grade, the worst year of my life. That album was a comfort to me when everything else seemed hopeless. I had cut-outs from J-14 magazine plastered on my walls, of Taylor and the Jonas Brothers. I tried to convince my teacher that we should sing Fifteen at our 8th grade graduation (I lost that one).

Speak Now came out when I was 15, and I listened to that album until every word was ingrained in my brain. My older cousin bought us tickets to her Speak Now tour for my birthday, and she was my first ever big concert. We drew 13's on the back of our hands and screamed along with her while she sang Mean barefoot, while she hit giant bells during Haunted (my favorite song at the time), while she floated over the crowd on her balcony in her Love Story outfit right in front of us, close enough I thought if I reached out I could touch her. I don't remember which cover she sang, but she did it in her purple dress, with sharpie scrawled across her arms. I took so many blurry and grainy photos of her that day. Speak Now will always have a very special place in my heart.

Red came out when I was 17. I learned through one of her diary entries that she had actually written the song Red on the flight home from our concert. To think that I saw her not even 24 hours before she wrote one of the most iconic songs of her career was mind blowing. I was dating now, so all of the songs about relationships became relatable for the first time. I knew from the moment I heard it that All Too Well was the best song of her career, and I have some obnoxious Facebook posts to prove it. The Last Time became one of my favorite songs she had ever made. Flash forward 5 years and I was posting 22 on my Facebook the minute it hit midnight. (Yes, Facebook. I'm old and uncool, we've established that already.)

1989 came out the year after I graduated high school. I was on my own for the first time, completely unprepared and immature, with a toxic partner who I ended up staying with for 5 years. I still have distinct memories of riding the bus past the WWU campus on my way to work, blasting the album in my headphones. I was in my semi-popular Lana Del Rey Tumblr days then, and you best believe I was making gifsets of the Blank Space music video. These were also the years when I sank into my deepest depression. 1989 was a bright light in that darkness.

Reputation came out when I was actually 22, right after leaving the five year relationship, and leaving everything I owned behind me or in storage, while my ex took my two beloved cats. This was my revenge era, my short lived "hoe phase" if you will. I remember listening to it for the first time in the car with my mom while driving to Seattle. I remember listening to it in the kitchen with my then 11 year old sister, and her saying "well that's inappropriate" during one of the songs (probably Dress). I was a little too harsh when I said, "well she's a grown adult, shes writing for herself, not writing for kids." What a brat. I specifically remember one Tumblr post from a fan that went to the Secret Sessions, of her gasping and saying "Taylor!" in a scandalized way during one of the songs (my guess is, again, Dress) and Taylor replying something along the lines of "I know, right!" To this day, Reputation is the album I have the most fun listening to, and the one I blast the loudest in the car.

Lover came out when I was 24, living in a small room without a door in my Grandma's house that doubled as her office. This was the no privacy era and it did NOT slay. This was also the era that I was in love with someone I shouldn't have been (you play stupid games, you win stupid prizes). Every love song on that album was dedicated to him. False God became a new favorite. This was the time right before it all fell apart, when the entire world shut down and I hurt people and was hurt myself (again, stupid prizes).

Folklore came out in the midst of being completely isolated from the world, except being dropped off at work every day and trying to go to college online. The beginning of my severe and debilitating germaphobia. The constant fear that I would catch COVID from my irresponsible coworkers. Not to mention, my heart was ripped open because I was August, and she was Betty. This album, I think, is the one where I couldn't deny the similarities to my own situation. It felt like it was meant for me, in that moment. Seven was for the little me that died when I was young. This Is Me Trying was a letter to my loved ones, when I couldn't explain that my brain was actively trying to kill me. I've only listened to Hoax twice, because that one is the most painful. I was the epitome of "I can go anywhere I want, anywhere I want, just not home."

Evermore, bless it's heart, came out of nowhere and was an amazing surprise. That being said (Ryan Bergara voice), Tolerate It, Happiness, Ivy, Long Story Short, Closure, Evermore and Right Where You Left Me were a twist in the knife of a trauma that wouldn't leave me, no matter how hard I tried. I was out on my own, truly alone, for the first time in my life. And I was terrified that, like Taylor said, this pain would be forevermore.

The re-records were amazing. I was so proud of Taylor for sticking up for herself and challenging the leeches that had gotten rich off of her talent. The moment she hinted at the 10 minute version on social media, I flipped my shit. Again, I have Facebook posts to prove it lol. I memorized the new verses in a day, I listened to it on repeat for weeks. I was staying at an airbnb the day Red TV came out, and I spent that night dancing around the kitchen with my headphones on.

And now... Midnights. I'm 27 now, and by this point I've lived a thousand different lifetimes. I listened to it in my dorm room alone, with my headphones on the second it was released. And then for good measure, I listened to it again the second the 3 AM version came out. I always need the second listen, to really soak up and understand an album. I made a bracket tournament thingie of all of the songs, and at first Vigilante Shit won, but after a couple more listens, Karma replaced it in the top spot. I listened to this album so much, on repeat constantly, that even though it was released in October, every single song made it to my Spotify Wrapped (not to mention the fact that I was in the top 2% of TS listeners). I was lucky enough to score tickets to the Era's tour, after much anxiety and freaking out from crashing websites and delayed sales. I screamed as soon as it was confirmed. Things have been rough, especially in the last month or so. One of the only things keeping me hopeful is the fact that in 4 months, I will get to see one of my favorite people in concert again.

That's not to mention the merch over the years. A Speak Now Tour shirt, notebooks and posters with Taylor's face on them, two signed CD's, a Red cardigan, a "fuck the patriarchy" keychain, The Scarf, and a few (not as many as I'd like) vinyls. I'm still pissed that my 1989 CD with the polaroids is lost somewhere in my storage unit.

At this point, if anyone is reading this, which I doubt they will, and especially if they have read this far (I'm sorry this post turned into a monster), they're probably thinking that I am a weirdly obsessed fan. Someone who thinks that someone they've never met in person is their BFF. I don't think I'm either of those things, but Taylor Swift has, and always will be a comfort to me. Especially as a neurodivergent person, having just ONE person who has been consistent for most of my life, someone who I can look up to and learn from, music I can listen to and immediately be comforted, is essential. At this point, now that I really think about it, Taylor Swift really is one of my special interests, and she has been long before I even knew that special interests were a thing (late diagnosed).

On top of all of this, she is just a genuinely good and kind person. You don't see that super often, in this cut throat industry. She is someone to look up to, even if Dear Reader says otherwise.

I've been writing this for about half an hour, and my phone is shaking from holding it above my head while I lay in bed and type. If literally anyone gets this far in the post, thanks for reading my weird diary entry I guess lol. Above all else, this is really a love letter to Taylor. Thank you for being there for me through it all.

#taylor swift #taylornation #tswift #midnights #evermore #folklore #lover #reputation #1989 #red tv #speak now #fearless #taylor swift debut #the eras tour #speak now tour

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musicarenagh · 9 months ago

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Jeremy Lloyd-Styles Gives Us The Perfect Gift Welcome to today's chat with Jeremy Lloyd-Styles, a Brooklyn-based indie rocker who's just dropped a sweet new album straight out of his home studio. He made it as a gift for his wife, celebrating a decade of marriage—a real touching gesture. Jeremy's tunes have this dreamy vibe, kinda like they're speaking to your soul. He's been soaking up inspiration from all over, from his days singing in church to jam sessions with family. Growing up, Jeremy got hooked on music from watching MTV and flipping through music mags. It all felt so cool, you know? And that noise from his first concert, it blew his mind—he wanted to make that kind of noise too. Nowadays, Jeremy's not just about music. He's into VFX and writing scripts, all while being a family guy. But it hasn't all been smooth sailing. He's faced his fair share of hurdles in the music biz, dealing with stuff like racism and sexism. But despite the challenges, Jeremy's staying true to himself. He's got big plans ahead, from writing more tunes to keeping his kid alive (which is always a priority!). So, grab a seat and join us as we dive into Jeremy Lloyd-Styles' world—his music, his struggles, and his hopes for the future. It's gonna be a real chat, no fancy stuff—just two folks shooting the breeze about life, music, and everything in between. Follow Jeremy Lloyd-Styles Twitter Soundcloud Listen to 2K80410 https://soundcloud.com/jlloydstyles/sets/2k80410?utm_source=clipboard&utm_campaign=wtshare&utm_medium=widget&utm_content=https%253A%252F%252Fsoundcloud.com%252Fjlloydstyles%252Fsets%252F2k80410 What is your stage name Jeremy Lloyd-Styles Is there a story behind your stage name? Just my government name Where do you find inspiration? Anywhere, really. Mostly from sounds outside. What was the role of music in the early years of your life? I mostly heard music at church or in the car with my mom. I was encouraged to sing solos, or join choirs in school. Are you from a musical or artistic family? My mom and her sisters would sing harmonies, old church hymns, etc around the piano at family gatherings. Who inspired you to be a part of the music industry? Probably watching MTV got me jazzed for making music. Seeing that and all of the music magazines made everything look so cool. How did you learn to sing/write/to play? I was encouraged to play guitar. My cousin, who I thought was the coolest person played drums. He would hype up music to me and that pushed me. Then a friend of mine started getting better at guitar than me and that just wouldn't do, so I started practicing, getting better and I loved writing songs. So basically my apparent childish need to be better than others spurred me on you get better. [caption id="attachment_54506" align="alignnone" width="842"] My cousin, who I thought was the coolest person played drums.[/caption] What was the first concert that you ever went to and who did you see perform? I saw the Winans (a gospel group from the 90s) play. The concert was so loud. I couldn't believe humans could make that much noise. That people were ok with how loud it was. I wanted to be that loud. How could you describe your music? I've written all kinds of music. Since I'm not trying to market myself or fit into anything particular I'm just allowing myself to make what feels good. This particular exercise I wanted to just make a straight forward 90s kind of rock thing. So the EP sounds like it does from my love of 90s rock. Describe your creative process. I hear the cacophony of noises around me and for some reason I pick up melodies. I'm really driven by rhythm and whatever particular vibrations means me feel pleased. What is your main inspiration? Not sure! Whatever music I'm listening to. What musician do you admire most and why? Maybe Daryl Palumbo and Justin Beck of the band Glassjaw. They just keep trucking. They don't care about timelines, they just want to make cool music. It was some interview with Daryl where he said just keep going.

Just keep playing and two things will happen, you'll get better and the people who started off with you and who aren't in it for that long haul will drop off. Did your style evolve since the beginning of your career? I've tried aping so many different styles. I think I've pretty much made peace with the fact with what I make will always be a bastardized version of what I'm trying to copy. And I'm ok with that. Who do you see as your main competitor? The only person I want to be better than now is me yesterday. What are your interests outside of music? I work in VFX. I love film, writing scripts, eating and drinking with friends and spending time with my wife and kid. If it wasn't a music career, what would you be doing? I'm doing it. I'm working in VFX and I guess would try and make some films. What is the biggest problem you have encountered in the journey of music? So many problems. But I'd say the racism, sexism, and age-ism. I could go on. https://soundcloud.com/jlloydstyles Why did you choose this as the title of this project? It's a gift for my wife and has a meaning to celebrate our 10 year anniversary. What are your plans for the coming months? To keep working on the musical I was commissioned to write, make a new EP, write more scripts and keep my kid alive! Do you have any artistic collaboration plans The one I am working on with my friend Jocelyn. That above mentioned musical. What message would you like to give to your fans? Be patient. Make what you like. If you like it, you are a demographic and someone out there will like it. It may be a lot of people or very few, but it doesn't mean it shouldn't be out there. Someone needs it, even if it's just you.

#Interviews #2K80410 #2K80410byJeremyLloydStyles #2K80410fromJeremyLloydStyles #2K80410JeremyLloydStyles #JeremyLloydStyles #JeremyLloydStyles2K80410 #JeremyLloydStylesdrops2K80410 #JeremyLloydStylesoutwith2K80410 #JeremyLloydStylesreleases2K80410 #JeremyLloydStyleswith2K80410

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coldhardbinch · 2 years ago

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Woke up with some things on my mind yesterday and decided to write something Real for once 🙃

Church has always been my family business.

One of my earliest memories is giving my mother attitude while she pulled into the church parking lot. I’d spent the morning trying to convince her that I was too sick to go to church (I was not remotely ill) and she looked at me in the rear view and said, “You’re getting to that age where you don’t want to go to church.”

I don’t remember the whole lecture (I was probably about 3) but the gist of it was that this was not a feeling I was allowed to have. As the pastor’s kids, we were never supposed to be anything but thrilled to be at church. Nevermind that we were there more often than anyone, or that from the second we pulled into the parking lot, we were being scrutinized by the bitties and the deacons, so maybe we didn’t really feel all that welcome here. Them’s the brakes, kid. You’ll go to church, you’ll stay late, and you’ll enjoy it.

When I was a teenager trying to flake out on praise team practice, my father said to me, “The Bible says if you don’t use the gifts God gave you, He’ll take them away.” I went to practice and learned to sing simple songs about a simple faith. I could sing of Your love forever. My brother-in-law led us on his acoustic guitar every Sunday morning. My brother ran sound. My sister corralled her five children into church clothes, then the van. When she was late, I had a perfect view of the whisperers, the gossips, the Did You Notice crowd.

When I moved away from home, I comforted my parents by telling them there was a good Baptist church in my new neighborhood. I never went. When they asked, I lied. Sometimes, when I can get a Sunday off. Eventually, they stopped asking. I rarely called, anyway. I sang in the car, with my friends, in dive bars for karaoke and began to believe that maybe this was somehow my religion.

My sister and I came out to each other via text on the same night. She made a joke about leaving her husband and dating girls. The kind of joke I recognized. I texted back: “So, girls, huh?” and soon we were laughing. “Girls are so pretty!” “Who isn’t obsessed with boobs?”

She left her husband that year. My parents’ adjustment period took some time, some difficult conversations, some days where I was too mad at my mother to speak to her at all. On Thanksgiving, they held a big breakfast that included my ex-brother-in-law’s new wife, my sister’s new girlfriend, and her three kids. I video called in for moral support. My father made sure I was “there” before starting a little sermon about our family’s new normal. Change is hard but can be good, or something. I was out of practice, hadn’t heard him preach in years, tuned out a bit out of habit. Near the end, he turned to whoever was holding the phone showing my face, and credited me with helping to make these changes happen. I just kind of smiled, not sure how to respond. A response I've given him many times. Then everyone went back to their bacon.

That Christmas, I came home and came out of my own closet, to much less fanfare. Everyone kind of Knew, You Know.

I think about that Thanksgiving more and more as my siblings’ children grow up, become their own people. Be allowed to be their own person at all, rather than the Optics Approved Pastor’s Kid. They wear their hair and makeup in ways my parents would never have allowed us to, in defiance of gender norms and sometimes good sense. Openly read books, watch movies, listen to music that I remember having to smuggle past my parents. They go out to plays that have nothing to do with Christmas, Easter, or any part of the Bible. They go on out-of-state school trips, far from their parents’ watchful eyes, without a single religious official around to remind them that Jesus Died For Them.

I think of those little babies, now full-fledged People, running unsupervised through Disneyland. Out with their friends with no fear of being Caught Dressed Like This. Standing up to their dick of a youth pastor. Going away for college. Prioritizing themselves over the 24-hour family business that is being the pastor’s family. And my heart swells to bursting. There is so much in this world that I can’t shield them from, that I simply cannot change. But seeing them spared a few of the specific lonlinesses of my youth heals some part of me I’d forgotten was even broken.

And I think about that Thanksgiving, and all the lonely ones I spent away from family, knowing I would have felt lonlier with them. I think I may always be a bit of a stranger to my family. I think that’s how I prefer it. But I know that I made my family a little less lonely for the next generation. When I see my father’s eyes in my face and so many others, it no longer feels like the gaze of a vengeful god.

#she writes #prose #religious trauma hits different when it was literally your job

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andswarwrites · 2 years ago

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Day 16

This is the first time so far this month that I am deviating from what I had planned to write for the day. I'd planned to talk about some of the challenges N- faces, but I decided those are her stories to tell, and not mine. Even though she is very open about what she goes through in life, and I checked with her to ask if I had her permission to write on the subject, I still can't do it. So rather than talk about the challenges she copes with, I'd like to discuss her gifts. Specifically, how this kid just breathes music.

I wonder how much her father and I had to do with that. I remember making playlists of music I loved from a wide range of genres and playing them for entire afternoons while pregnant, because I knew that even while in the womb, a baby can hear music. Now N- was a very active infant, she was constantly moving and kicking, but while music played she would go still. Unless she objected to the song, that is. How do I know she kicked me when she disliked the song, you ask? Because after she was born, she would cry when I played those same songs that had made her kick me.

Spending five weeks in the N.I.C.U. meant my baby got accustomed to constant noise: voices, alarms, the phone ringing. We were warned that our baby might have trouble falling asleep in absolute silence. We came up with a solution: we put on Muse albums to help her fall asleep, specifically Absolution and The Resistance. S- and I had a habit of listening to music in the car, and N- was introduced at a very young age to Daft Punk, Queen, POTUS, The Beatles, Daughter, the list goes on.

The house that my parents had built was furnished with a piano, and whenever my mom would visit, she would play. I have a video I took of Mom playing, and N- sitting in her high chair next to her grandmother, babbling happily and running her chubby little fingers over the keys. Mom noticed that unlike other children, who had a tendency to pound on the keys, N- would actually make little melodies. Mom purchased My First Piano Adventure books for my daughter, and every time they saw one another, they'd have a lesson.

When we moved to the South Shore my Mom recommended that we get N- a keyboard and look for a teacher for her. There was a Long and McQuade near our house, and we saw that they were offering piano lessons, so we signed our daughter up. N-'s teacher was a quiet, gentle young man, who went above and beyond just teaching. For example, N- composed a piece, and her teacher transcribed it for her. He gave it to her as a gift. At the start of the pandemic, N- could no longer have her lessons in person, so for a while she had them over Zoom.

Unfortunately, N-'s teacher had to find other work, so he could no longer continue N-'s lessons. That was when N- began to take lessons with my mom. In order for that to work, I have to be in the room, because once her fingers touch the keys N- is in her own little world, so if my mom wants to say anything to her at all, I need to intervene, to help Mom get through to her student. And we've learned that in order to get N- to focus on music theory, she can't sit in front of the piano; the keys are like a magnet to her fingers.

My sister gave N- a guitar. N- likes to play it, but she doesn't have endurance: the strings hurt her fingertips. I told her if she perseveres she'll get callouses, but she's not quite ready to suffer for her art. N- and I also sing together. I get into trouble when I don't respect the timing of the song, however. N- and I have very similar music tastes; she introduced me to Chillhop, and her current favorite group is Crystal Castles. Her Dad has very specific music tastes, and N- will request certain songs from his SoundCloud, again, driving in the car.

I think of our family's music tastes like a venn diagram. There's my tastes and there's S-'s and there's N-'s, and there are songs both S- and I agree on, and there are songs that both N- and I agree on, and there are songs S- and N- agree on, and then, in the middle, are the songs the whole family can listen to happily. I guess that's how all families are. Except maybe some families don't really have music they can all enjoy together. I'm so glad that's not the case with our family. I'd say S- is the pickiest of the three of us, and when he likes a sound he can listen to it on repeat for months, and then he substitutes it for a new song or collection of songs. For a while it was Bad Lip Reading; that was actually pretty fun.

You know something I just realized? S- and I have always wanted to include N- in what we enjoy doing: before she was even born I couldn't wait to share our music with her, my favorite books, our favorite shows, our favorite movies, our favorite meals and treats. Of course we want her to have her own preferences, and we respect them, in fact it delights me when she shares with me that she now has a favorite movie, book, color, style. As she comes into her own, in so many different ways, I am even influenced by her. I respect her opinion and personal style.

And to wrap up, when it comes to music, she has it in her very soul. She always has. Ever since she started playing her own compositions, I could detect her mood based on the piece she was creating. When her hamster died, she composed a dirge, and you could hear how much her little heart was mourning. Other times, she simply overflows with happiness. I hope she will continue to express herself through her music, all her life. Just like my writing keeps me grounded, I think her music will help her to process the ups and downs she goes through. And what an amazing gift, to create something that others can enjoy and relate to.

#motherhood #music #personal

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newageauthor · 2 years ago

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🎶✨when u get this u have to put 5 songs u actually listen to, publish. then, send this ask/tag your favorite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool) 🎶

Tagged by @fortpeat ❤️❤️❤️

Thanks for tagging me because this was super fun to do and I actually love talking about music and sharing music tastes! I'm definitely gonna check out your list because I love music recommendations

(In no particular order!)

1) Put Your Records On by Corinne Bailey Rae

This was my favorite song as a kid and is just such a happy song that centers around little girls just being happy in their own skin (mainly black little girls) and just has the vibe of the color Yellow ✨️

2) Don't Want My Heart by Sarah Cothran

I have had a lot of heartbreak in my life and this song perfectly describes the feeling of being through so much. I showed this to my best friend and my partner to remind them what the state of my heart was when they came into my life

3) Dying Is A Beautiful Thing To Do by EASHA

Dude I LOVE EASHA! This was the first song of hers I have heard and I have it memorized and sing it often! Amazing writing! She is so talented!!!

4) I Knew You When by Bob Seger

Bob Seger is my favorite male artist and this song has my favorite writing but it was difficult to choose just one

5) Have You Ever Seen The Rain by Creedence Clearwater Revival

I am in love with CCR and this song is about depression but hits just right when you are having sad hours. My favorite CCR song easily

I'm actually a huge music person so picking just 5 songs was super hard so for fun I'm also gonna recommend 5 albums too!

1) Creedence Clearwater Revival: Chronicles Vol.1

I have always been really close to my dad since he's my only parent and he would listen to this in the background while he took care of me and my sister on his rare days off when I was just a baby and then like 20 years later he showed this album to me and it was such a wonderful full circle moment. When he and I are just in the car and don't really care what we put on we play this album

2) HOLY FVCK by Demi Lovato

I am currently obsessed with this album because I have always respected Demi's music career immensely and was so happy they decided to take a more rock sounding route because her voice just fits it so well

3) Mania by Fall Out Boy

I LOVE Fall Out Boy and it's one of the few music groups my sister and I both love and I basically am in love with every one of their albums but this one in particular was so unique from their usual sound and it was such a wonderful surprise. It's not often I like every single song from an album but this one is an awesome exception

4) Shake Your Money Maker by The Black Crowes

Another album my dad and I bonded over. I have a thing for old rock bands where the singer has a raspy voice. Where they don't really care about staying on key or whatever what's more important is them just having fun with it. This is also the album with their most popular song "She Talks To Angels" which I will never get tired of

5) Elvis 30 Greatest #1 Hits

Now I HAVE to add an Elvis album because he is my dad's favorite artist. This album came out in 2002 when I was 4 and was my introduction to Elvis from my Dad. Ever since then, he would show me album after album telling me every detail behind every song and the story behind the writing. Was the start of my dad and I bonding over music

#Spotify #i was tagged #music tag

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creativeashproductions · 4 years ago

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Proceed With Caution // Evan Buckley

IN WHICH: The reader doesn’t expect to become involved in a hostage situation with her fiance’s older sister, the older sister’s best friend and the best friend’s date from hell. With the addition of a SWAT member, how will the taking of dispatch change?

Warnings: Swearing, blood, threats, angst, guns, hostage/kidnapping

Words: 5.9k

A/N: Recently got into the tv show 9-1-1 and completely fell in love with Buck so here I am writing for him as well. This takes place during the season three episode ‘The Taking of Dispatch 9-1-1’. Reader and Buck are already in an established relationship.

TO BE TAGGED SEND AN INBOX/ASK PLEASE!

Masterlist

The apartment was quiet as the sound of your keys clattered in the bowl on the countertop. It was pretty early in the morning, so you had no doubts that Buck would be just waking up. On his days off, he would use the first day to catch up on sleep; based on prior times, he would be up in half an hour.

“Buck?” You called out from the kitchen. You heard a groan from the loft where Buck was in the process of waking up, “I forgot to drop off that book Maddie wants to borrow. When I get back, do you want to get breakfast?”

A grumble you somehow translated to approval was what you received in response. You jogged up the stairs to the loft to grab the book from your bookshelf. Buck’s bare leg stretched out from underneath the comforter on your side. The soft sighs Buck made in his sleepy state tugged at your heart; the sighs grew louder when you bent to kiss his head.

“See you in a bit.” You whispered to the sleepy soft male. He sleepily grinned in response before curling into your pillow.

The sound of your footsteps softened on the steps back to the main level of the apartment. Your keys snagged from the bowl before you gently closed the door behind you. The sun was gorgeous to be awake to see and had Buck not worked a long shift, you’d have adored watching it with him.

Your car pulled out of the parking spot in the Los Angeles Service Center’s direction that Maddie worked at. Your lips quirked as the radio spewed out the station that Christopher listened to in the car. You could even pick up the book in the backseat where he called his spot. The book could be found in Buck’s Jeep as well.

It had maybe three days since you’d seen the young Diaz, and damn did you miss the kid. Christopher has his enigmatic quality that demanded you love him for all that made him simply Christopher. The second you’d met him, you knew he would mean a lot to you.

You hummed in time with the song that was currently Christopher’s absolute favourite. Slowly you went from humming to singing along when the light turned green. A handful of songs came and went on the admittedly long drive due to traffic.

It was about forty minutes after leaving your apartment that you parked next to Maddie’s car in the parking lot. Lucy was sitting at the front office with a grin you matched. The woman buzzed you before she clocked out with her reprieve Jake.

“Hey, Sue!” You grinned at the older redhead. Sue had absolutely no problem seeing you, given that you were welcome in the building.

Sue’s first interaction was when you came to the centre to pick up Maddie when she came to work sick. Maddie had managed to keep it under wraps for an hour before Sue caught on. Ever since, Sue was fond of asking Maddie about her brother and you.

“Maddie’s not in just yet.” Sue spoke with a kind smile, “If you’ll excuse me, I have to meet with one of our sit alongs.”

You nodded towards her while beelining for the woman’s bathroom, hoping to catch Maddie after using it. You’d drank too much water on your run earlier this morning. Whether it was fortunate or unfortunate in the time you’d entered the bathroom, several things happened. Lucy ended her shift, Jake started his shift, and a group of strangers entered the building.

Your hand went to push open the door when through the crack, you saw two men you’d never seen before. Years of your job gave you enough feeling to know that something wasn’t right. That being said, you eased the door closed and attempted to find a hiding spot.

The garbage was too narrow and had no lid. The few seconds you had left, you glanced up. The ceiling hadn’t been renovated in many years. Rectangular sheets could be raised. Thankful of the rock climbing lessons you’d done with Maddie, you managed to crawl into the ceiling just as the two men entered.

“Nobody’s here.” The one-man with his head as pale and shiny as a cue ball. He gave off the most creepy vibe; the shorter Hispanic man wasn’t as violent looking, “Kinda hoping someone tries something. I’ve wanted to try out this.”

The man waved the large gun in his hand with a sick smile that twisted your stomach. That was the moment you’d realized something was very wrong. The second they left, you gently dropped back on the ground. Your first instinct was to send a message to Athena, but there was a fatal flaw. You’d expected to be in and out of the building quickly, so you’d left your phone in the car.

“Fuck.” You swore. One hand roughly running over your forehead as you contemplated figuring out a plan.

The building had many cameras throughout that you knew the blindspots for. The year after high school and during the summers, you’d worked in the building. Despite having worked here when you were younger, it was never during Sue’s shift. Over the years, you’d come to know the blind spots and a few cameras that were decoys. You even remembered Maddie and her friend Josh complaining about three cameras not fixed yet.

“Think.” You breathed, making a pattern of pacing, “They’ll need a lookout. They’ll take out the security guard first. The front doors are out. It’s a team, so they’ll also need eyes on the building. Terry is definitely a hostage.”

Of course, you’d end up in a volatile situation during the first half of your day before your shift started. The only comforting thing about the situation was the holstered gun on your hip and the badge on your belt. Maybe you should backtrack to why you had a gun and badge; you were an LAPD member, specifically SWAT.

“The changeroom.” You breathed, recalling it was down the hall with no camera. All you needed to do was pretend to be a dispatcher. The changeroom, now mostly a file room, had a few extra maroon and blue uniform shirts.

You timed it. The man holding Sue’s tablet was in the process of talking with his cohort, so you dashed to the room. You took no time in changing into a loose maroon shirt with your thick sweater overtop to hide the gun in the small of your back.

Your holster, badge and personal shirt tucked in the bottom of a box for safekeeping. As soon as you saw your entry, you sat with the group of hostages a hall over. A few looked surprised but let it go when you raised one finger to your lips.

“Y/N? What are you doing here?” Maddie hissed from the other side of a startled Josh. Both of them were surprised at seeing you here, “Oh my god. Buck is going to kill me.”

“I was dropping off your book before I get breakfast with Buck, but it appears my small bladder saved my life.” You snarked with your eyes scanning the room, “What’s going on?”

“That is my date from hell, Greg.” Josh inconspicuously pointed towards the man, clearly giving orders. The anger flared inside you, “You need to get out.”

“Josh, no offence, but I’m an officer with the LAPD. I work with SWAT. I’m your best bet of making it out alive.” You informed the dispatch duo, who went still as Cue Ball patrolled the hallway with a sadistic glint in his eyes.

“They took control of the building for a reason we don’t know about. We’re still working but under strict monitoring. They said it will be an hour, but we’ve seen their faces.”

“No witnesses.” You finished for Maddie with a deep sigh, “Unfortunately I left my phone in the car. Did they take yours-”

“They took Linda’s EpiPen. Of course, we don’t have phones.” Maddie sighed, leaning back to rest her head against the wall. Not even having a SWAT member by her side was comforting; your badge put a more significant target on you.

“We have to warn someone.” Josh mumbled to both Maddie and you, “You’re on shift Y/N?”

“Not for a few hours. I was supposed to drop off the book and get breakfast with Buck before my shift. This was supposed to be five minutes tops, so I left my phone in my car.”

“I already did.” Maddie spoke with a sad look on her face that overtook the fear, “I just hope he gets the message.”

Your hand reached out to squeeze the woman you’d had a hand in raising Buck more than their parents. Maddie had become family when you first started dating Buck. The in-law part of her familial relationship to you never crossed your minds; you were simply sisters to each other.

“Who?”

“Chim. I told him I loved him.” Maddie finished with a teary gaze. It made you sick seeing that look again after Doug.

You remembered seeing that haunted look when she stumbled out of the thicker woods covered in blood. You’d stayed by Athena’s side when Buck clutched her so tight and sobbed with her. It had been before you’d become serious with the man, but it was that frightening day that Buck fell for you. You’d just finished a taxing shift with your team when you heard about Maddie was missing, and Chim was in the hospital. You’d ignored the exhaustion to search high and low through your work contacts before narrowing the search area.

“Good thing Chimney obsesses over the little things.” You spoke, slouching down against the wall, “We’ll get throu-”

“Don’t do anything stupid.” Maddie warned you with her brows furrowed together, and you saw what she was doing. Despite your years of experience and the gun you had, she pushed her fear down behind the concern that a big sister shows her young siblings.

“I won’t.”

At 8am, Buck was just entering the apartment building from grabbing the mail addressed to both you and him when Chim had called.

“Yup, go for Buck.” Buck spoke, opening the door to the apartment he’d only temporarily left. His morning had been late after his long shift the night before. The most productive thing was dressing for his breakfast date with you and grabbing the mail.

“How come 9-1-1 doesn’t respond when I call?” Chimney questioned the younger, now confused male.

“Uh, is that some kind of riddle? Like who watches the watchmen?” Buck asked, closing the door behind him. His eyes scanned around for any indication you’d returned home, but the bowl was vacant of your keys.

“Neither of those things are riddles. Okay, I just tried calling 9-1-1, and I got the high call volume message. Did I miss an earthquake or something?”

“Nope, pretty chill morning.” Buck responded as he closed the fridge door with a bottle of water in hand. The entire conversation wasn’t concerning to him, given that Chimney was often like this.

“Where’s Y/N? She’s the police she’ll know-”

“She’s not home right now. Wait, why are you calling 9-1-1? Is everything okay?” Buck slowly asked with his brows coming together. The sigh of frustration from Chimney was answer enough.

“Your sister said that she loved me.”

“Yeah. Wasn’t that uh, the whole point in that big date you had last night?” Buck inquired on his way to the table. He had a feeling this was going to be a long conversation that would hopefully pass the time until you got home.

“You declare your love, and she declares hers? That’s how it went with Y/N and me.”

“Yeah, I know, okay, but she didn’t, all right? At least not last night. Look, she made this big deal saying that she couldn’t say those words, and then this morning, she blurts them out and hangs up on me.” Chimney speaks, pacing in his own apartment. The side by the side of Chimney and Buck’s separate apartments told different tales of their states.

“It’s still not quite sounding like an emergency.”

“’Cause I sound insane.” Chimney spoke, staring up at the ceiling with a battle in his mind. He wants Buck to talk him out of this, but he also wants Buck to agree with him, “She’s at the call centre. What could happen there? You know what, forget it, I’ll try Y/N again.”

“Again?” Buck questioned just as his co-worker ended the call. Buck tugged his phone away from his ear to stare at it confused.

You always answered the phone if you weren’t working at the moment, but given you still had hours, he found it unsettling. After seeing the news report with the ladder truck on top of him, calls weren’t ignored between you two. That feeling of concern grew when you didn’t answer his call either. Nor the second one.

“Nah, she’s probably talking with Maddie.” Buck spoke, but that second-guessing feeling didn’t dissipate.

In the call centre, you’d been marched to one of the stations with a deep hope that you’d remember everything. It had been years by then since you’d worked as a dispatcher. It didn’t help with the gunmen patrolling the room.

“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?” You calmly questioned the caller.

“Hi, my cat is up the tree by my house. Could you send someone?”

“Can I get your name?” You went through the motions of getting her name and address before you informed the woman, “Okay, the LAFD and LAPD no longer respond to calls of cats in trees. The cat will make its way down on its own. If the tree is in your backyard, I’d use the time to garden or read a book on this beautiful day.”

“Oh, thank you. I’m sorry for taking up your time.”

“It’s no problem. Having a wonderful day Susan.”

In no time at all, you’d been rotated into the board room away from Josh and Maddie. It gave you time to inspect everyone you hadn’t made contact with yet. No one appeared harmed other than in distress with the situation.

“Downtown. They don’t want anyone downtown.” Linda whispered as Maddie was guided onto the floor by the elbow. You’d only gathered her name from her near-silent introduction to you when the hired guns had been far from your area.

“Let’s go.” Greg snapped, roughly pushing you towards the conference room. Something deep in your gut already predicted that someone was going to be stupid.

It was your sharp eyesight catching the minuscule agitation in Greg’s interactions with the Cue Ball guy. The slight tightening of his grip on the gun, the tension in the room growing stifling. And everyone knows that when emotions run high stupid things happen.

“Why do they keep moving us around like this?” The man beside Maddie questioned. He was definitely the most shaken of the group. He was basically shaking like a chihuahua.

“To disorient us.” Maddie spoke, staring at the group monitoring the dispatchers currently in play. Her eyes refused to leave them.

“So, we can’t make a plan.” You finished for your sister-in-law. Objectively out of everyone, Maddie, Sue and you were the most collected individuals for various reasons.

Maddie had lived in a volatile house with a man that could be unpredictable if a situation called for it in his mind. Sue had been working in the centre for years to navigate the emergency while you walked into dangerous situations.

“Jamal.” The shaking man spoke, holding his hand out towards you, “Are you new?”

“No.” You spoke as you shook his hand, “I’m Y/N. Maddie’s sister-in-law. I’m filling in as a favour for Sue.”

The lie slipped off your lips a little too quickly. You decided to come to this hostage situation as if you were undercover. It meant having to ignore that Maddie was in the situation with you.

“Worst day for a favour.” Jamal snorted with his eyes pinned on one of the armed men holding all your lives in their hands. You’d have spoken, but Jamal checked out mentally from the conversation waiting for the other shoe to drop.

The shoe dropped when the IT Specialist announced numbly, “Jake’s dead. They shot him.”

It didn’t matter how long you’d been working for the LAPD, any death, whether it was a civilian or a criminal, it was still was startling. Jake, the security guard that alternated shifts with Lucy, wasn’t someone you spoke with. He was on shift when you weren’t here or just missed the shift change.

“We need to get a message out.” Jamal spoke, glancing at the only people in the right state of mind, and those were Maddie, Josh and you. Terry had seen the violence these men had no issues with.

“I did.” Josh breathed, thinking of the arguably cute security guard he sometimes liked to stare at, “A woman called about onions in an omelette. I dispatched an officer.”

“To the restaurant?” Maddie inquired with her pinkie connected with yours for comfort. Both of you would prefer your SO’s hand instead.

“Not exactly.” Josh replied, staring at his best friend with a glimpse of hope in his brown eyes.

Hope may be the only way you could get out of this without hurting anyone in your admittedly surface level plan.

“Buck will think something is up.” You added

Buck had begun pacing the kitchen of the apartment with Chim adamantly telling his friend his plan to go to the centre. Buck had joined Chimney in the concerned department when you had failed to return to the apartment, return calls and to make matters worse, so was Maddie. His texts had gone unanswered as well, not even having the read receipt on.

“She’s not picking up either. I tried Y/N and Josh, but neither replied. When I tried Maddie and Josh, it went straight to voicemail.”

“Now, I’m definitely going.” Chimney announced, shoving his wallet into his pocket just as someone began knocking on his door.

“What if something is wrong? I know Y/N is a member of SWAT but radio silence? No text to let me know she was called in early?” Buck thought aloud with his finger dragging along his thigh, “Maybe we should call the police.”

“I...think someone already did.” Chimney informed Buck as he stared at the sudden appearance of Sergeant Athena Grant at his door.

“What? What do you mean?” Buck hastily questioned, leaning against the kitchen island. He could just faintly hear Athena speaking on Chimney’s end of the phone, “Chimney? What’s going on?”

“Athena was sent to my apartment. Hang on, Buck, I’m just gonna tell Athena what’s going on.”

Buck stepped away from the island to settle on the stairs to the loft, impatiently waiting for Chimney to finish speaking. That fear of losing pieces of his life expanded deep in his gut, just like the times Maddie left in his childhood. That fear of being left behind.

“What’s she’s saying now?”

“She’s making her case.” Chim whispered as he continued to eavesdrop on Athena’s call with her higher-ups, “Now she’s folding like a cheap suit.”

“All right, let me talk to Athena.” Buck demanded antsy to figure out the situation that clearly had something wrong. That fear he’d thought of early flared catching the tail end of Athena’s conversation, “No! No, no. We can’t just send in SWAT. If there is someone inside the call centre doing something, they’ll know we’re onto them.”

Unfortunately, Buck was correct in this thought process, all thanks to living with a SWAT member. He knew these things after the years he’d been with you.

“Maddie? I think I can sneak up to Terry’s computer. Maybe get eyes on the place-”

“No!” Terry nearly shouted, stiffening when Cue Ball hesitated in the doorway at his sudden shouts. You all held your breath for his reaction, but thankfully he was called away by one of the men, “They have-”

“Terry, I need you to calm down. I’m familiar with these types of situations. I’m SWAT. I need to get on top of this. Don’t be a hero.”

Maddie’s head began to shake when your arm was roughly grabbed by Greg, “Your turn.”

You were separated from Josh and Maddie, but instead of being pushed into one of the dispatcher seats, you were pulled to the original hallway.

“I don’t like how friendly you are with them.” Greg spat, shoving you to rest against the wall, “Don’t move.”

You catch the eyes of Maddie with an apologetic expression before you used the pacing routine to sneak away. You didn’t release your breath until you were attaching your holder to your hip in the change room. By now, your team would be aware that something was wrong, Hondo would be hell-bent on finding you.

Until you had help, you were on your own.

You used each blindspot of the cameras in the halls to the stairwell, and you used a broom to adjust the cameras. The cameras not kept you from view but not appearing suspicious. Once at the floor where Terry was practically always at you softly closed the door.

You’d only started to sit down when you heard the ding of the elevator, “Shit.”

You slipped into the closest containing extra parts if anything broke. Through the crack, you saw Terry being held at gunpoint. The gunman that had been holding the tablet on the floor, Ellis as you’d heard.

“You’re telling me every cop in the city has just disappeared?” Ellis demanded as Terry, and he disappeared around one of the corners. The tapping of a screen indicating Ellis was searching for something with Terry’s involuntary help.

“I’m telling you, I don’t know!” Terry snapped back, creating even more tension in the room, but Ellis didn’t move to grab his gun.

Ellis appeared to the only one reluctant to discharge your weapon, unlike Cue Ball, who just happened to join the party.

“Figure it out!” Ellis spat, turning on his heel at the sound of approaching footsteps. You could see him roll his eyes at his team member walking into the room.

“What’s going on here?” Cue ball questioned the duo in different kinds of distress, and you swore Cue Ball enjoyed the intimidation from his teammate and the IT specialist.

“That police car’s not the only one that’s gone dark.” Ellis nervously spoke, stiffening for the volatile reaction that one could expect from Foster.

“You think they know we’re here?”

“Foster, it could be a system glitch.” Ellis offered keeping one eye on Cue Ball while monitoring Terry’s work as well.

Cue Ball spoke a sentence that sent chills up your spine, “Time to cut our losses.”

As Foster and Ellis began going over their personal plans made out of Greg’s knowledge, you noticed Terry glance over. His eyes widened slightly before quickly looking away when you raised a finger across your lips.

“We can go down the back stairs. I have a car waiting around the corner, we split the art up between the five of us, and we go our separate ways.” Foster spoke, revealing his plan to double-cross Greg, which in all honesty made sense. Greg was ill-fitting to be in charge of their operation, unable to control his lackeys.

“I like that part of the deal.” Ellis breathed, skirting around the trigger happy criminal only to halt in his steps, “Wait, you’ve got a car parked down the street? You were always gonna double-cross Greg.”

“You weren’t?”

“If we’re gonna do this, you can’t just sell famous works of art on eBay.”

“You can’t sell them from prison either.”

At that moment, something almost shifted in the area, something that made you pull your gun from your holster. Your body telling you something was about to happen. It happened in a split second. Foster fled the room leaving only Ellis just outside. With Terry frantically shaking his head, you tiptoed to the unsuspecting criminal.

“LAPD!” You shouted, pointing your gun towards the shocked man, “Put the gun down and put your hands up.”

“Aren’t you a dispatcher?” Ellis questioned, blinking in surprise.

“Aren’t you supposed to be intelligent? Next time check the schedule I haven’t worked here in years.” You spat, keeping your gun pointed on him, “Do I say-”

The sound of two guns going off made Terry flinch and scream as he instinctively dropped to the ground. IT was supposed to be safe, but Terry had now heard three gunshots in under two hours. He really didn’t want to see the outcome of the shots.

A moan coaxed Terry to peek out through the privacy glass. Ellis was on the ground while you kept your gun on him. He didn’t see anything else when the power went out. He didn’t see you drop to your knees, but he heard you.

“Terry...get down. Lay on your stomach with your hands insight, and don’t move.” You informed the terrified IT just as the floor was swarmed.

“Put the gun down!” The sound of Tan’s voice was welcoming as you slowly placed the gun on the ground. “25-David I have Y/L/N. The suspect is down, need medical.”

You got back to your feet when Tan nodded his head, “Thank god. There’s a possible body in the IT room along with the It Specialist Terry.”

“You got your badge on you?” Tan questioned as he cuffed the moaning Ellis up, “Street can you escort her down?”

Street nodded from his position, watching Tan’s back before guiding you to the stairs with hawk eyes. Even off duty, you kept your head on a swivel.

“You caused quite the commotion.” Street spoke halfway down the stairs when you barely mumbled. He caught you as you went down like a sack of potatoes, “Y/N!”

“Adrenaline is crashing.” You moaned, looking at your shoulder where the maroon had grown darker, “I think he shot me.”

“26-David I’m in the stairway. Prepare a medic.” Street spoke into his radio before he strapped the gun away and swept you into his arms, “Think you can have my back?”

“When don’t I?” You wheezed, with the sweat starting to bead on your forehead. As you crashed from adrenaline, you barely noticed being placed on the ground at the main entrance.

A paramedic cutting your borrowed shirt to reveal the bullet hole in your shoulder courtesy of Ellis, the only member who’d thought wouldn’t shoot his gun. You could vaguely hear Maddie calling out your name as you were loaded onto a gurney.

“M-Maddie?” You spoke, tilting your head to see Chris holding Maddie back from, “Chris! That’s my sister in law.”

Chris only let Maddie go when Hondo gave the all-clear, and you were so thankful when Maddie’s hand encased yours.

“Don’t close your eyes.” Maddie pleaded sick with the amount of blood on your skin and soaking through the gauze, “Who’s gonna help me put up with my little brother?”

“Buck.” You breathed sluggishly, blinking as the artificial lights changed to natural with the gun shining through the glass front doors.

“You didn’t let me close mine in that ambulance, so I need you to do the same. Don’t close them. I’m so sorry. This is all my fault.” Maddie cried as an officer pulled her aside as you were stopped. You wouldn’t remember it, but Maddie had to watch as you coded right in front of her.

Maddie had to watch them perform CPR on you and fight for a pulse. She had to think of how’d she’d tell her little brother she’d killed his fiance. The counting of the paramedics sounded as if underwater, and as they did, the world went quiet. Her mind checked out as the trauma settled in.

Maddie stumbled out of the building into a zoo of officers, medics, and news reporters almost robotically. She barely felt Chimney hug her, but she wrapped her arms around him and sobbed.

“It’s all my fault.” Maddie gasped, collapsing against him, “If I had-”

“Maddie?”

Chimney felt Maddie stiffen at the sound of Buck’s voice amidst the multiple voices milling around. Maddie raised her gaze to meet Buck’s blue eyes dripping in relief and question.

“Buck.”

“Maddie, where’s Y/N? Her car…” Buck trailed off, catching the utter heartbreak in his big sister’s eyes. A look he’d come to know in his line of work as a firefighter. The utter devastation that came with watching someone you love die, “No. No.”

“I got a pulse!” Came from the nearest ambulance, and Buck skirted around his sister and Chimney, “Ready to transport!”

Your eyes slowly blinked at the white ceiling of the ambulance with pain in your midsection courtesy of chest compressions. Breathing came painful, and the bullet wound throbbed, but it all faded when you saw blue eyes above you.

“Buck.” You sobbed, more like groaned, as he was urged to sit on the bench holding your hand, “Maddie?”

“She’s okay. Chim’s got her. Can you keep your eyes on me? I need to see those big beautiful e/c eyes.” Buck soothed, bringing your hand to his lips, “Did I ever tell you my favourite colour?”

Despite Buck’s best attempts, you continued fading in and out of consciousness but continued to be stable. He spoke about the funny video Eddie had shown him of Christopher at the end of their shift last night. He talked about everything and anything under the sun during the short ride to the hospital.

The last thing you saw was Buck being held back as the paramedics pushed the gurney into the ER. Everything turned black.

The beeping was the first thing you heard before your eyes fluttered open to a stark white room and that unmistakable hospital scent. You noticed the second thing as Buck holding your hand in both of his with his forehead pressed against them.

“Buck?” You moaned to the one person you had wished to see. The man whose eyes were bloodshot from crying, “What’s wrong?”

“Your heart stopped beating twice. I thought I was gonna lose you.” Buck cried with his lips pressed against your hand, “I was so worried.”

“Hey. I’m fine. I’m here.” You cooed, tugging one hand away to run through his messy hair with a soft smile. His blue eyes brighten at the familiar feeling of your digits in his hair, “I’m not going anywhere. This isn’t here for decoration.”

His eyes found the ring he’d gently placed back on your finger from when the nurses had removed it. It only left your finger when you were on duty, in which it was slung on a necklace hidden under your uniform.

“Better not be.”

“Does the hospital have a chapel?” You questioned out of the blue leading to Buck snorting as you giggled, “I’m serious. When I was bleeding in that building, all I could think about was you. If Maddie is anything like you, she’s waiting in the waiting room with Chimney.”

“You aren’t wrong. All the chairs are taken. Our family was waiting for you to wake up.” Buck breathed, leaning closer to press a sweet kiss to your lips, “Are you sure?”

“About marrying you?” You softly questioned the man who couldn’t help but believe this was a dream. How he’d somehow got the girl of his dreams to agree to marry his ass, “I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. All I want to share is your last name for the rest of my life. You are it for me, Evan Buckley. All the flaws you see are beautiful to me.”

“Only you would want to get married after being shot mere hours ago.” Buck chuckled with a sigh pulled from his pink lips, “I’ll get the doctor for you and find out if we can be married here.”

While you were checked out, Buck left the room to go back to the waiting room where the 118 and your co-workers waited. Everyone perked up at his appearance, Christopher asleep on Eddie’s lap.

“Is she okay?” Bobby questioned as the tension in the room grew more and more. It shattered into relief when Buck grinned.

“She’s sore as expected. She’s gonna catch some sleep, but she’d like to see Maddie.” Buck replied, pinning his gaze on his big sister with her curled into Chimney’s body. Her cheeks flooded with tears of absolute relief, “C’mon.”

The waiting room started emptying with Buck’s promise to keep everyone updated, but before Bobby could step away, Buck asked for him.

“Do you need a few days off?” Bobby questioned just as Buck came closer to the seasoned firefighter.

“No. But could you spare an hour?” The expression on Buck’s face was enough for Bobby not to ask any further questions. He simply followed Buck back towards your hospital room, where Maddie and Chim waited.

“What’s going on?” Bobby inquired, with the addition of the hospital assigned Priest holding the standard bible. Chimney could only shrug in response to whatever was going on.

“I know there have been times we haven’t seen eye to eye, but Bobby, you’re like a father to me. You gave me chance after chance when anyone else would have given up. You guided me on how to be a man. Y/N and I would like it if you’d be here for this.”

“Wait, are you getting married? What about the wedding?” Maddie spluttered, flicking her gaze between her brother and you. Her question surprised her boyfriend and Bobby.

“We’ll still have it. But I want to marry her without the pressure of our parents. Just a private ceremony with some of the people that mean the most to us.” Buck answered for the two of you, “Would you stay?”

“Of course.” Maddie softly spoke with a slideshow of memories playing in her mind of watching Buck grow up.

Watching Evan go through all kinds of injuries, all in the name of attention but never getting it the way he deserved it. She remembered giving him advice for asking out Donna and holding him when he was rejected. The little toddler with the impish grin somehow turned into an idiot in the hospital.

Maddie saw the man her little brother had turned into with the help of the 118 and you.

Buck’s fingers made quick work of buttoning his short-sleeve uniform with the sudden appearance of his friend.

“That’s new.” Eddie spoke from his opened locker holding his uniform and a picture of his family on the door. It was a picture of Christopher, Buck, you and Eddie from the zoo a couple months back.

Buck looked over at his best friend, “Hm?”

“The ring.” Eddie snorted dramatically, looking at the ring that had been living on his finger since he married you five days ago, “Did my invite get lost in the mail?”

“Nah, we just got married in the hospital. We’re still planning the wedding to appease both sides of our family. And I promised Christopher he could be in the wedding. With Y/N on medical leave, the planning will be faster. She’s going stir crazy after five days.” Buck finished tucking in the shirt into his work-issued pants. Lastly, he slid his ring onto the metal chain he had bought recently.

Like you did, he would wear it around his neck when working for safety reasons.

“I’m happy for you, man.” Eddie told his friend just as the bell rang, “You’ll have to tell me how you’re liking the married life.”

“But first, we have a job to do.” Buck supplied all the while jogging to suit up in his turnout gear with Hen and Chimney.

#evan buckley imagines #evan buckley #evan buckley x reader #evan buckley x fem!reader #evan buckley oneshot #911 imagines #911 oneshots #oliver stark #evan buck buckley #evan buckley x y/n #evan buckley x you #caitsy and ash productions

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paradoxesofgalaxies · 2 years ago

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camellia and aloe vera?

Thank you friend 💜

camellia ⇢ what were you like when you were younger? do you think you’ve changed a lot?

Felis coming in with the hard questions XD I know I've changed a lot but have very patchy ideas of what we were like when we were younger so I'm gonna just throw together unconnected anecdotes.

As a baby/infant, we would go with anyone who picked us up. I've heard countless times from mum how she was always worried someone would take me because I would happily go with a complete stranger (this was often brought up in contrast to my sister who would scream if a stranger got within 10ft of her). This anecdote has been on my mind lately in relation to attachment trauma....

We started preschool at 3yo because we liked to be out of the house (again what I was told by mum and grandma). I loved building large structures out of the wooden blocks.

A therapist once asked me why I was bullied. At the time I was mostly offended. Looking back, I can understand why I was bullied. The brainwashing was thorough and I was very vocal about ~the truth~ and trying to convert classmates. I don't think bullying is right but, like, I get it. I was an 11 yo preaching about the horrors of abortion. At 13 I wrote a term paper arguing why the bible is right.

We often wrote and put on short plays with a couple of the neighbors. I was always the witch.

We've been writing poetry since we were 4. Our grandma carried our first poem in her wallet until her death and it lives in a desk draw now. We wrote poems and stories and songs.

We watched a lot of infomercials as a kid (not much else was on at 6am on approved channels and we Followed The Rules). We would pass the time on long car trips making up infomercials about random items in the car.

We could often be found alone on the swing set singing to ourselves. A frequent song was I'm Still Here from Treasure Planet, a movie we saw once while babysitting and fell in love with. And the song stuck with us. "I am a question to the world/Not an answer to be heard" "And I want a moment to be real/Wanna touch things I don't feel/Wanna hold on and feel I belong/And how can the world want me to change?/They're the ones that stay the same/They can't see me but I'm still here"

aloe vera ⇢ what’s something (mundane) you really want to experience in life?

I would love to one day meet up with my wonderful dissociative friends 💜💜

#galactic gab #asked and answered #bullying tw #christianity tw

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micamicster · 2 years ago

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⭐⭐⭐ music question!! any particular song choices you put a lot of thought into or just really want to talk about?

noa ur a real one for this. i know youre asleep rn i hope you enjoy the madness you've unleashed when you wake up <3

Back when I started writing this i complained nonstop about how i didn't know anything about 80s music and im happy to say that is no longer true! I have listened to SO MUCH 80s music in the last month holy shit.

Playlist with all the referenced songs <3 If people want to know what the hell im talkign about at any given time they will all be on here <3

I already talked in the end notes about what music everyone is based on so I won't get into that here. Instead I'm gonna talk about the "soundtrack songs," or the songs that i insist on shoehorning into every scene. (Actually discussed with my sister A Lot about whether the songs are fun or meaningful or are clutter in different scenes and the jury is kinda still out on that. So would be interested to hear what people think!)

The most important songs in part one are probably Last Dance With Mary Jane and Dancing in the Dark. I'd always wanted Last Dance for Steve's crisis about being back in indiana. That's a song I listened to on LOOP writing that scene! I love tom petty so much--i feel like he has a unique sympathy for the characters he creates in his songs. They're very kind songs, and they feel very comforting, even when he's talking about ennui and dissatisfaction and heartbreak. Dancing in the Dark is dancing in the dark i literally cant even explain more. Perfect song. (Other good bruce songs for steve are Brilliant Disguise for Steve/Nancy and Independence Day for his daddy issues <3)

In part I think the major songs are Cyndi Lauper's Good Enough, which I brought into the scene to be another thing they don't have in common. The bus scene is a whole list of Shit They Don't Have In Common, and Good Enough is an answer to that question (if it's good enough for you it's good enough for me), but it's also a kinda depressing hint at Eddie's perspective on the fwb situation (if it's good enough for you it's good enough for me).

Every kid's breakfast order song! Dustin's is a 70s rock song and also a pun (i love dustin). Lucas' is a classic off my favorite Steve Wonder album. It's a little older (1980), so it's probably one his parents played when he was a kid. He sings it to Max in a wildly over the top way (just like he used to see his dad do for his mom) and she pretends hes so annoying but she loves it. (Lucas has the most flexible voice the the group btw he can do any genre). Will is playing a gay ass song by the replacements, one of the greatest of 80s alt rock. Mike is playing an electronic piece that nobody else likes (the icicle works were one hit wonders iirc). El is playing a 60s girl group (headed by the incomparable ronnie spector, who was also abused by her manager, like El was, even though that's not something El would know to associate her with). Max is listening to Talking Heads. She (and will) listen the most widely of any of the kids, but I think her heart lies with new wave/punk (again vs will who is a punk/alt rock kid). Eddie plays Iron Maiden. He's a twenty-something teenage dirtbag babey!

Breakfast club scene I think is self explanatory. Don't you forget about me etc etc

FUCK this is so long. Imma keep goign. Now for some songs i DIDN"T get to include:

REFUGEE TOM PETTY aka the song that best sums up the Eddie/Steve situation in this fic. Could not make it fit naturally into the text but you should know it's The Song

Downtown Lights by Blue Nile is the song I listened to while writing the party scene in nyc. I did not include it because it came out in 1989 which is not accurate :( Alternatively I chose Drive by The Cars for that scene, but I ended up not putting any lyrics in at all, because I thought it might just clutter the thing up. (But I think I left it on the playlist anyway because i listened to it so much lol)

#my beloved letting me ramble about music for pages and pages <3 #my only ho #reading this back i have menthol illness maybe. wow #anyway. thank u for this #the load out

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redspiderling · 3 years ago

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MCU Breakdown: Black Widow, Part 1

I can’t believe this is happening 😭

First of all, congratulations to all of you who’ve been here all these years. We got it. We begged for years, and it’s finally here.

For once I wasn't dreading revisiting this film to write down what I got from it. I felt more like I might not do it justice. This film is so special to me, but here it is, the MCU Breakdown of Black Widow, part 1 (of who knows how many).

I remember back when I started running this blog and talking about a hypothetical Black Widow movie that had never been announced, always "yeah, we would be happy to do it, maybe, someday in the future", and arguing that it would be important for women and girls, no matter its content. I'm so glad we got it like this. So, so glad.

The rest under the cut.

Let's start with some technical details. The film has a lot of setups and callbacks, nothing is done in chance. For example, I love how the light, and the sounds we hear when we first, and last, see Natasha in the film, are the same. We greet her in bright -birds cheeping- morning light, while she's riding her bike home, to her family

and we leave her in bright -birds cheeping- morning light, while she's riding her bike home, to her family (I'm using the term family very liberally here in reference to the Avengers for the sake of the movie, bear with me, you know how I feel about those dudes).

It's signifying new beginnings, each time, not endings. Notice how, what we see is natural light, which makes this scene pop out, and look more real because the light is coming from the sun, and isn’t artificially made on VFX software. You will notice the stark differences in colours and lighting when the emotions and the atmosphere change in this film, because there is a visual language being employed here, the director has a story to say, and she uses all the tools she has to tell it. The light is exactly the same in those 2 scenes, because Cate wants us to make that connection, even if we make it unconsciously.

Natasha is placed in such a positive way, both at the start and the end of the film. There's this discussion about how "real" their little family was, but it was the characters that muddled up that image. The reality of their lives in Ohio is presented in a happy way, that had deep rivers under the surface, for sure. This wasn't accidental, for a lot of reasons.

First of all, if you take it the literal way, they were spies, and had to present themselves as normal. If you take it the allegorical way, any girl could fall victim to trafficking, and if you take it the character way, both Scarlett and Cate wanted to showcase that Natasha is human. They also wanted to give her something that wasn't always dripping with pain and sadness. They were both parts of her life, yes, but there was also joy, and light, and once upon a time she had been a kid, playing with her sister.

Also, and this has been mentioned before but it bears repeating: I love the actress they chose for young Natasha, and I love how they presented her character. She's allowed to be a young teenage girl. She's not sexualised. She's at that gangly stage between childhood and adulthood, and there's nothing sexual about it, no provocative clothing, no excessive makeup. She's a kid.

Plus, I know Cate said the actress already had her hair dyed blue and they just decided to let her have it, but I think it works well for Natasha's character. That small act of defiance, even that early on, against the system that wanted to break her. Also, the film gives us such great character moments, because they let the camera roll and don't rush through scenes, look at Natasha looking at Melina comforting Yelena. We can see the pain, the fear, where she knows that this isn't going to last, and wonders about what will become of them once their lives begin to unravel.

We also get to see the joy on her face, the wonder of discovering the world, how often do you get to see Marvel characters do this, just live in the moment?

Bioluminescence: the production and emission of light by a living organism. Or how Natasha is a bright light, that shines from within. Not my words, Cate Shortland's words. I felt it when I was watching this scene, but it was lovely to have it verified in one of her interviews. I wish I could meet her, and tell her that everything she wanted to put on screen came through, incandescent and crystal clear. Fireflies are a symbol for Natasha, as a bright light that shines from within, and never dies.

Small details that I love, the magnet on the fridge: Don't forget, above a picture of Natasha. LIKE WE EVER COULD, CATE.

We have another setup here, where the family gathers up to have dinner together. Even the sitting arrangement is the same as later on in the film.

Notice also how both young, and adult version of Natasha, communicate so well with Melina, just with their eyes. It doesn't necessary show a deep history between them, but it does show a bone deep level of understanding. Not just of their current circumstance, but of their future, and of what it will do to them. Melina knows what's coming and she's says it "I'm sorry", but they're both resigned to their fate, Melina because she doesn't see a way out, and Natasha because, well, here she's a kid, and therefore is powerless.

The dynamics between Yelena and Alexei is so different. Yelena is young and doesn't understand, so they're speaking about completely different things. "I don't have my shoes" is what she says, and it's heartbreaking in its innocence, as Alexei is loading his gun and reading himself for battle. We can still see that he's not indifferent to her, telling her she can have "fruit loops in the car". He's not a monster, he just doesn't have a choice (or at least, he thinks he doesn't).

Also, notice how the camera angles are employed here: Natasha and Melina look each other eye to eye, Yelena looks up to Alexei, Alexei looks down on her, there is an imbalance of power and understanding in the second set of images, and the camera tells us that.

Melina doesn't let Natasha take the photo album. For one thing, it's certain that Natasha wouldn't be able to keep it. For another, Melina wanted the memories, and probably didn't want anyone else to realise/think that they cared about their little family unit.

There's just a lot of thought that's been put in the details of the script, to show us their bond, their attempts to hide it, to show the characters' personality in everything around them (notice the plants that are ever present in Melina's home, in Ohio and later in Saint Petersburg). She might seem cold, she has been through a lot, but she cares. And that care has brought her pain. And we have to see that pain, because we get the quiet moments like this one, where she stands alone in an empty home knowing that part of her life is over, never to return.

The mission, is the last thing Melina asks about. The last thing Alexei mentions, the last thing either of them cares about. First, she refused to accept that they had completed the mission and were now hunted, then she accepted it and they loaded their family in the car, and then she asked about the leaked files.

Also, notice how that shot is framed. Both images silhouetted by the light because it’s the moment and the prop smack down in the middle of the frame that’s important, now what they’re going through, emotionally, they’re not themselves in that moment, they’re nameless, tools of the trade, expendable in front of that tiny floppy disk.

Yelena is singing while the rest are plunging in despair, but still humour her and play her song.

I found this shot a bit... Jarring. I get it that for American audiences this would show that they're actually leaving "home" behind, but for the rest of us... Eeeh, I'll give it a pass because it is an American production and this is just something to be expected. I mean, Yelena's song was American Pie. We get it, you still love America, just because you're making a film about Russian spies doesn't mean you're a commie Marvel, it's ok.

But in any case, the setup for the action scene here was excellent. Happy, familiar music playing, car is on the main road, car goes off the main road familiar music gets toned down and eventually completely lost in the darkness.

Yelena knows what to do, we see it, so that we know that this 6 year old girl who holds her stuffed animal and walks barefoot has practiced for this moment.

By the way, Natasha did take another item with her along with the photobooth pictures (it also looks like a photo album with Disney princesses on it), it didn't survive the trip. We are informed of this for a very specific reason: Melina didn’t ask Natasha not to take the photo album out of malice, or just because she wanted to keep it for herself. She knew it wouldn’t survive the trip in Natasha’s hands. We also get a close shot of the image strip (and we get it again, during the credits), because it will be important, later on.

Bet y'all also forgot you were watching a superhero movie until this happened? That wasn't accidental, they wanted us to see them as normal people, this is the moment when that ends.

Natasha saved her family, even though she was a terrified kid.

I know that they did the huge titles thing to connect this film to Civil War but... Listen, Civil War needed the huge titles because that script and the way that movie was directed was a complete disaster. We needed to know where the characters were each time with huge ass title because there was NO OTHER WAY TO TELL. Between complete lack of a timeline, and the fact that you couldn't even tell what time of the day it was due to the horrible lighting, you definitely couldn't tell what the location was because it was irrelevant to the plot like, 90% of the time. Not to mention the title cards in Civil War were usually followed by dimly lit grey corridors so, yeah, give us a title so we know at least where they are, generally.

This film. Didn't Need That. For the most part anyway, there are 2 locations where the titles worked. First one was Ohio, the other I'll reveal later.

But here. Guys, they're Russian spies escaping from the US on a small plane... Where else would they go if not to Cuba?!?! This is the Black Widow movie paying for the sins of Civil War, in a small way in this instance.

Yelena tells Melina that pain only makes you stronger, Natasha cries, and they setup my heartbreak for later.

Natasha protecting Yelena, terrified, and staring men down the barrel of her gun anyway. Such a badass and heartbreaking callback.

Notice how this scene makes us look at how men view this. There's an allegory here as well, but I'll address what's actually happening in the film:

Dreykov notices Natasha's natural instinct to protect herself and her sister, and all he sees is something he can use. A tool for violence, instead of sex, in this case. But the implication is there. Not a person, or a terrified girl, just an object to be used by men.

So glad that piece of shit got blown up and never mentioned again. Any man looking for exposition on Dreykov to feel the "loss" when the villain is gone: Fuck you. Go get some therapy.

Moving on from that piece of shit, difference between Melina and Alexei: Melina apologised. Alexei lied, but he also tried to give them hope. We can see the devastation, because the soldiers never thought of them as girls like he did, and didn't blink before drugging them and taking them away.

Yet another setup, of Natasha and Yelena, drugged and powerless as they are taken away. Because it wasn't enough that they were kids, they took away all their choices, and rendered them unconscious.

What can I possibly say about this credits scene.

It's very real, probably the realest minutes in the entire MCU, and it's merciless. They don't try to sugar-coat what's happening, and there are no jokes to diffuse the drama. These are girls being trafficked from all over the world. I don't know about you but I felt the switch from true parallel to real life traffic victims like this shot that looks like footage from Interpol

to Red Room victims as being a clear shift, and I was actually grateful for it. Because here I could put my back against the fact that the red room wasn't real, otherwise I would have broken down before the credit sequence even ended.

It was a stroke of genius to create an introduction to this entire world like that. We rarely see credit sequences anymore and it's a shame, because when they're well done they tell stories in and of themselves, and this is one of the best I've seen.

Even the villain is set up here. He's pointing at girls and saying "that one, and her", like he's picking pigs for slaughter. How much more setup than that do you need, to want to murder that man dead? Not any more, that was enough.

Nobody speak to me I’m crying.

Subtle, but there. Trafficking (and traffickers) exists because it IS being tolerated by governments around the world.

Unnecessary title aside, who else says Natasha looks at herself in the mirror hear and repeats "pain only makes you stronger", as she's being hunted away from yet another family.

Then she's saying it again because it bears repeating and Natasha has been through A Lot these past few years. I love how unfiltered our first image of her is. After all she's been through, we basically see her stripped of all her tricks in a moment where she’s alone with herself and her thoughts(something we later learn she tries not to do much), and she's just a woman having a tiny breakdown in a semi-public bathroom. Again, human.

This is where I will leave you for this first part. Hey, I got through the intro, I count that as a win given just how long this breakdown has already been. If you’ve gotten this far, thank you for reading, come yell at me in my inbox whenever, see you for the next one xo

#MCU Breakdown #Black Widow #Black Widow Spoilers #Natasha Romanoff #I'd like to think that all my followers have already seen it but just in case

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imonthinice · 3 years ago

Text

The Criminal Psychology Majors, Jason Todd x Fem!Reader Part 3/?

Word Count: 1.5k

Author’s Note: Y/N - Your name, A/N -Any name (your best friend’s name)

Part 3! Date 2 is going to be underway with this one. Enjoy!

I had to change my pfp and my header cause they were being dickheads so just be aware if you liked looking at the batboys when clicking on my profile lmao <3

Warnings: Swearing, no beta bitch we die like Jason Todd, Dark humor.

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8) (Part 9) (Part 10) (Part 11) (Part 12) (Part 13) (Part 14) (Part 15) (Part 16) (Part 17) (Part 18) (Part 19) (Part 20)

Y/N woke up the next day feeling like she could take on the world, energized, with a new crush, and full of life, a stark shift from how she usually was. She was never normally a morning person and had a severe addiction to caffeine. I mean, the addiction was still there and she still needed coffee before she could go to her 3pm class and meet up with Jason again, but she was happy. She would put on her clothes and pack her bag before even getting coffee.

“G’morning, A/N!”

“Who are you and what did you do with my best friend?” A/N joked.

“Down girl, I’m just peppy today, it’ll probably wear down and it’s probably a once-in-a-blue-moon deal,” Y/N said as she started brewing her coffee.

“You got a date with Jason today?”

“I do!”

“That explains it,” A/N joked again.

“Says the one with a boyfriend,” she shot back.

“He’s not my boyfriend, we’re just hooking up right now, trust me, if he was, you’d know, darlin’.”

“So what did dreamboat ask last night?” A/N asked.

“Well I said ‘What do you want to know?’ and he said ‘We’ll talk about it today, maybe during notes or maybe during our lunch date, we’ll see how i’m feeling.’ so I think that’s good?”

“You kidding? You got that man wrapped around your finger, respect.”

“Shut up.”

“No thanks, I have free speech y’know.”

“Yeah you can say whatever, but I can also use my free speech rights to tell you to shove it, so, checkmate,” you sneered at her.

“That’s fair,” A/N paused and then changed the subject, “Have you heard Brutal yet?” she asked.

“You’re damn right I have, I wonder where that was for me at 17. But to be fair, I would still blast it now at my parents just to make them irk.”

“They would kill you for listening to that song instead of their Christian Rock.”

“Worth it, I’ll die swinging and singing.” Y/N mused.

“It really is Brutal out here.”

“Leave, get out, that sucked, blocked, friendship over.”

---------------------------------

She walked up to her 3pm class, to be greeted by Jason at the door, with of course, her new knowledge of the tabloids and their minions, she questioned why he’d do this.

“Hey, Y/N.”

“’Afternoon, Jason.”

“I’m trying to give the tabloids a show, don’t mind me.” he mused.

“I’m not surprised, but class is in 5.”

“Then I guess we should sit down and get ready to write at lightning speeds.”

She went to sit down, followed close by Jason. She couldn’t help but notice everyone was staring, but she didn’t care. This is going to be fun, she thought, I’m glad they’re gonna get a fucking kick out of this, she finished her thought.

Class went on as usual, with her scribbling down the notes so quick her arms hurt by the end of it, and Jason just sitting around making sure she wasn’t losing her arms to the writing, and casually laughing at the Professor. Then, the Professor brought up Barry Allen. Dr. Barry Allen and what he does for the criminal psychology people.

“Forensics go hand-in-hand with criminal psych, normally we can tell, as scholars, from the hitting of the weapon why and who might’ve done it.” The Professor said.

She saw Jason tense up a bit, and whispered over to him;

“You know Dr. Barry Allen don’t you?”

“He’s my uncle,” he whispered back.

“Well, be sure to tell him I’ve read some of his essays when I wanted to go into forensics instead of criminal psychology.”

“Really? He has essays?”

“Many. Very good writing. 10/10.”

“You’re going to make his week if you keep talking like this.” he mused.

“Good.” you mocked.

---------------------------

“So, you’re intermixed with a renowned journalist, a legend in forensic testing and you’re the son of Bruce Wayne?” she asked Jason, she couldn’t believe the words coming out of her mouth, but there they were, all cards on the table.

“Yeah, I know this is all new to you but famous people tend to know other famous people.” he joked with her.

“Well that’s fair, I guess I kind of know Clark, I met him once at a office party with my mum.”

“He’d probably remember you.”

“Enough of your family ties, huh? You said you wanted to know more about me?”

“Yes, that, did you tell your roommate to pick up your car?” he asked her.

“I did, why was I meant to do that, by the way?” she asked him.

“Because, we, you and I, Y/N, are going to go for a joyride on my motorbike and try to get away from these,” he lowered his voice, “bitch ass cameras,” he grabbed her hand and started running towards his bike, dodging all the paparazzi who just wanted the snag shot of the two. They don’t even know my name, and they’re going off about this, she thought.

When the two met his bike, she looked over it fondly. This guy really likes his red, she thought, that’s fair, I do too.

“Nice bike.”

“Thank you, Y/N. We can ride this bad boy out to the country and try to escape the cameras, which kind of cuts into the lunch date, but hey-”

“That’s just the life someone famous has to live?” she questioned.

“You’re catching on.”

“I could have been a detective if I wanted it.”

He laughed and sat down on his bike and like instinct, she sat behind him and wrapped her hands on his chest and leant in. She didn’t know how to passenger a motorbike, but he didn’t say she did it wrong.

“You ready?”

“Jason, are you going to kill me?”

“Well if the shoe fits.” he mused.

“I’m ready.”

And off they went.

There was something about the way the bike drove through the streets of Gotham that she loved so much, she had already fallen in love with the restless city and called it home long before right now, but this was exhilarating for her. Somehow driving at 120mph was amazing, it brought out this feeling of freedom, something she hadn’t ever felt back home in Metropolis.

It’s worth it, she thought, it’s forever going to be worth it.

-------------------------------------

Pulling her off of his bike, the two of them laid underneath the tree on the small hill Jason pulled over by.

“Do you think we escaped the pap?” she asked him.

“Probably not.”

“Festive.”

“So, Y/N, it’s your turn to open up about your family. Besides your mum, I already know about your mum.”

“So, my twin sister goes to our rival school, the Metropolis one, I think she’s more of a people person than I’ll ever be. My parents are still together, they got married after they had my sister and I, so I’m a bastard,” she laughed, “I always like telling people I’m by definition a bastard, a lot of them get mad all like, ‘don’t call yourself that you’re a lovely girl’ and it’s just funny to me,”

He laughed, “You call yourself a bastard out of spite?”

“Am I supposed to not? I think it’s funny-”

“It’s pretty funny. I live out of spite too,” he said, almost like he was pulling out a bad memory, but she egged him on slightly,

“Spite who?” she asked.

“Spite God.”

She let out a laugh, and he seemed to let go of whatever memory he had clung onto to watch her laugh. It was clearly a distracting laugh.

“God tried to strike you and you just went ‘Nah mate, go away’? Respectable. I would do that.” she said while laughing.

“That’s exactly what happened, Y/N-” and his phone pinged, he turned it over, it was Dick.

“Mind sharing who that is?”

“I don’t mind, it’s my older brother sending me an article of us today. We really gave them a show holding hands,” he began reading, “ ‘Millionaire’s Son, Jason Todd, Caught Holding Hands with the Mystery Girl.’ “

“One day they will know my name. And it will be a massive article. Like a gender reveal.”

“Like a gender reveal?!” he said back to her, laughing so hard his smile reached ends she didn’t expect it to be able to go.

“It wasn’t that funny of a joke, Jason,” she said.

“It’s a better joke than my brothers and sister could ever come up with, Y/N, and they’ve had Galas to practice for,” he retorted.

“I’ll set it ablaze like the California gender reveal,” she continued with the joke, expecting this to be too far, but this also showed her that Jason liked dark humor, and she did too.

He burst out laughing at this, and she smiled.

“You have perfect teeth, Jason.”

“Is that what you’re focused on?” he asked.

“They are the forefront when you smile, it is hard not to.”

“Romantic,” he mocked her.

“I can be more romantic next date, if you want it,” she said, inclined towards him saying I want it. She was right.

“I want it.”

#jason todd #jason todd x reader #jason todd x fem!reader #jason todd x y/n #jason todd x you #jason todd fluff #red hood #red hood x reader #red hood x fem!reader #red hood x y/n #red hood x you #red hood fluff #batfam #batfamily #batbros #dceu #dcu #dc

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positivityfortoday · 4 years ago

Text

☀ PositivityForToday’s 10K Celebration ☀

There are SO many things worth living for and reasons to smile and be happy! With the help of my lovely followers/friends, I have compiled a list of 1,000 things that make people happy, for my 10,000 amazing followers! Hopefully, this list is able to help you, make you feel better, or give you a reason to smile today!

☀ 1,000 Happy Things ☀

Seeing cows while driving

Moss on really old fallen trees

Seeing a lil baby you don't know in public, and they smile at you!!!

Parents doing their kids hair or just people doing someone they care about’s hair

Really ragged old and well-loved stuffed animals

When the dandelions start blooming

Spring blossom

Daffodils

Bluebells

Sharks

When you're sitting outside your house or something and people passing by wave and say hi

That feeling in the summer when you have your window open and you're listening to your favorite music

When someone does a hobby just because they enjoy it even if they aren't the best at it

Comfort shows and books

People speaking their native languages

When my brother gets something to eat and always gets me something he knows I like

When I finish a crossword

When I see something that reminds me of someone I care about

Paintings

My best friend (I love her so much shhhh don't tell her)

My dog! I love him

My little sisters! Adorable, creative, and very witty. I love them

Music! I get the happy shaky feelings and just,,, y e a h/listening to songs

Singing! Especially for band practice!

Sunlight beams in the morning

The moon

Eagles

That feeling when you’re with friends and you’re all laughing so loudly, and you just feel complete

Talking to my favorite people/talking to my best friend

Sunrises and sunsets

Seeing the stars

Cats

Butterflies/Moths

Snails

Warm sunshine

Purple gel pens

Hugs

My children

Sunny days

Beautiful views

Spending time with my family and friends

Playing badminton

Cycling

Playing with little kids

Playing with dogs

Whales

Animals doing daft things

Talks and walks with my son

Morning breakfast and coffee

A good spicy lunch

Laying in my bed at night and just checking on current affairs and news

My boyfriend

My friends

Art

Owls

Minecraft

Voice acting

Petting my dog

Smelling Flowers

Feeling a cold thing when I’m warm or a warm thing when I’m cold

Giving and getting kisses

Random texts from friends

Coffee flavored chocolate

Singing

Moths with big white wings

Underdone scrambled eggs

A rainy night

Bubbles

That first warm day of spring

Going on hikes

Being outdoors

Candy

Chocolate

The smell of playdoh

Taking photos

Getting new clothing

Candles

Birdwatching

Going on picnics

Writing poetry

Reading books

The holidays

Making people smile/laugh

Coffee

A nice warm blanket

Eating ice cream

Snow globes

Lightning bugs

Flowers after the snow melts

The smell of rain

Sitting on the steps early in the morning

Being the first to wake up

The feeling I get after running

The comfort of a favorite shirt

My girlfriend

Family

Random acts of kindness

Babies

When I play with my dog by pretending to run at her and she goes crazy with excitement

My cat

Rain

Baking

Piano (playing or listening)

Small flowers

Flowy skirts/dresses

Wholesome romances

Hearing a song for the first time and loving it immediately

Playing my flute

Horses

Listening to vinyls on a record player

When someone remembers a little detail about you

Painting my nails

Doing yoga

Doing exercise

Beating a personal record

Rainbows

Making crafts

Taking a shower after a long day

Going to the zoo

Going on vacation

Being at the beach or near water

Watching Netflix

Going to the movie theatre

Watching a live play at a theatre

Learning something new

Teaching someone how to do something

Toasting marshmallows and eating S’mores

Cupcakes

Seeing a shooting star

Taking a nap

When someone compliments me

Decorating my room

Picnics

My favorite band

My favorite celebrities

My favorite actors

Setting a new goal

Collecting rocks

Putting on fresh clean sheets

Seeing Christmas lights

Listening to birds chirping

Giraffes

Camping

Sitting by a bonfire

Eating mashed potatoes

Bullet journaling

Driving in the car with the windows down

Dancing

Looking at pretty pictures

Concerts

Funny jokes/puns/memes

Fireworks

Sparklers

Pretty clouds

My favorite shoes

Getting new art supplies

Making photo edits

Making gifts for my friends and family

Getting gifts from people

Balloons

Succulents

Playing an instrument

Drinking a nice cup of tea

Iced tea on a summer day

Eating fresh fruit

Getting my hair braided

Eating at a restaurant

Being on a boat

Swimming

Making new friends

Finding an animal in nature

Pumpkins and pumpkin patches

Carving pumpkins

Autumn and all the beautiful colors

Acting for theatre

Making video edits

Wearing a costume for Halloween

Dressing fancy

Finding four leaf clovers

Pressing flowers

Scrap booking

Handwritten letters

Stickers

Hummingbirds

Elephants

Eating breakfast

Gardens

Inspirational quotes

Wearing my favorite necklace

Baby animals

Little streams and ponds

Foxes

Sun shining through trees

When it’s foggy out and you can see dew drops on plants and spider webs

Being on a swing

Finally accomplishing a goal you’ve been working on

When a new season of your favorite show comes out

Doing my makeup

Cleaning and organizing

Daydreaming

Taking a bath

Christmas

Watching funny videos

Wearing sweaters and hoodies

Fuzzy socks

Helping people

Little figurines and objects

Popcorn

Brownies

Looking out the window

Wolves

Opening a window for fresh air

The smell of coffee

Watching YouTube videos

Getting a haircut

Seeing a deer in the woods

Watching birds fly

Finding shapes and objects in the clouds

The smell of fresh laundry

When someone tells me something reminded them of me

Stepping on crunchy leaves

Animal crossing

My switch

Softball/baseball

Basketball

Soccer

Seeing cool cars/old cars

Rollerblading

Drawing with chalk on a sidewalk

Going to bed early

Stargazing

Making progress

Checking things off my to-do list

Taking Polaroid pictures

Going for walks

Jogging

Going to the library

Starting a new book

Finishing a good book

Playing board games

Koalas

Slippers

Big trees

Sunlight coming through the windows

Waking up on Christmas morning

Getting book, song, movie, etc. recommendations from my friends

Making music playlists

Finally receiving packages I ordered in the mail

Baking desserts

When my favorite song comes on

When people make playlists for each other

Finding new characters to ship

Having free time

Sticky notes

Sunbathing

Traveling

Peace and quietness

Alone time

Meeting my step/exercise goal for the day

The people who love me

Soup

Coloring books

Getting into bed after a long day

Pillows

Fandoms

How unique and different everyone is

Getting a lot of work done

Looking forward to my future dream job

Playing video games

Being on Tumblr

Taking time for myself

Practicing self-care

Face masks

Finding money you forgot about

Holding hands

The smell of apple pie

Starting a new tv show

Getting letters in the mail

When the seasons change

Summer

Mugs and teacups

Smoothies

Breakfast food

Disney

Going into the woods/forest

Trying new creative outlets

The smell of sunscreen

Eating the food you’ve been craving

Knowing and feeling that people care

Telling a good story

Laughing so hard can’t stop and your stomach hurts

Late summer nights

Late night drives

Sparkles

Glitter

Listening to people I love talk about their favorite things and what they’re passionate about

Listening to podcasts

Turning up the volume of my music

Putting my headphones in

Blasting my favorite songs through my speaker

People accepting and supporting others for who they truly are

Wearing something cozy

Soft light

Love

Warm weather

A well-rested night

Waking up in the morning and feeling refreshed

Knowing that every day is a fresh start

Well written characters

A book I can get lost in

Sloths

My parents

My siblings

My grandparents

The feeling of sand beneath your feet

Heated blankets

Bagels

Toast

Getting something for free

Samples

Constellations

Mason jars

Practicing a new skill

Finding a new hobby

Lazy weekends

Mac n cheese

French fries

Having deep conversations with my best friend

New jeans

Going to IKEA

Skirts

Dresses

Doodling

When other people are happy (especially people I know and love)

Marching band

Sleeping in

Having the day off

Getting new books

Playing guitar

Playing ukulele

Random compliments

A change of scenery

Cuddling

Waking before the sun is up

Reading old letters

Zebras

Exploring

Building Lego sets

Using photoshop to make edits

Journaling

Walking along the seafront and breathing in time with the waves

A good rom-com or nostalgic show

Writing lists

Pinterest boards

Looking back at my accomplishments

Talking on the phone with a friend or family member

Wrapping presents

A blue sky

Loving someone

Waterfalls

Washi tape

Penguins

Donuts

The color yellow

Sleepovers

Cooking dinner

Kind gestures

Trust

Inside jokes

Songs that make you feel nostalgic

Seeing other people’s art

Comfy clothes

Wearing pajamas

Calligraphy

When someone calls you by your nickname

Going to Target

The first sunburn of the summer

Ramen noodles

Chinese food

Thrift shopping

Flower fields

Flowers growing in random places, like through a crack in the sidewalk

Writing

Sparkly snowflakes

When it snows on Christmas

Mixing paint colors together

Perfectly shaven legs

Puddles

The color red

Thunderstorms

The smell of flowers

The ocean

Adult sized onesies

Driving a golf cart

Fairytales

Cartoons

The color blue

Pasta

AO3

Crickets chirping

Seeing everyone’s houses decorated for the holidays, especially Christmas

Other people sharing what makes them happy

Monkeys

Being understood

When someone texts to make sure I got home safely

Iced coffee

Becoming better at communicating with others

Seeing a friend for the first time in a while

Good morning and good night texts

Drinking a cold glass of water

Deep conversations in the middle of the night

Collecting sea shells

Building blanket forts

Tan lines

Being under lots of blankets

Making better health and money choices

Getting chills from a song even after hearing it countless times

Liking how I look

Hot chocolate

Finding new music

Buying cute things

Wearing an outfit I really like

When someone tells you how glad they are to be your friend

Gardening

Watching raindrops race down a window

Trying new food

Finding exactly what I was looking for

Planning my future

Finding a song that perfectly fits my mood or describes how I’m feeling

Writing little notes to people

When someone tells me I did something good

Eating ice cream on a hot day

Making friends with animals

Going to football games

Seeing people genuinely interested in something

Snow days

The last day of school

Winter break

Spring break

Thanksgiving

New Year’s Eve

Turtles

Sitting outside on a cool summer day

Watching rain

Watching the ocean waves come in

Netflix binges

A new movie release I really want to watch

Driving with a window down for the first time in the spring

Taking a cruise

Giving helpful advice

Getting helpful advice

Doing a favor for someone who needs it

Someone referencing one of my fandoms or something I love out of no where

Learning and knowing stuff

Doing something physically challenging or scary

Listening to my bedroom fan while I fall asleep

Coming up with a new creative idea

Finding something I wanted at the store on sale for a good deal

Finishing all my assignments on time or even early

Hugging my dog

Taking my dog for a walk

Teaching my dog a new trick

When strangers stop to say hi to my dog

Listening to audiobooks

The weekend

Finding a new flavor of chapstick

Drinking Kool-Aid, it makes me feel so nostalgic

Watching nature shows on a weekend morning

Watching cartoon shows on a Sunday morning

A good TV show, most likely something I've watched before because that way I know it ends well

A good, delicious comfort meal on a Friday night by myself

A café in the city centre at noon when it's not filled with the morning rush or afternoon coffee breakers

The stars from my childhood bedroom because they're the brightest here

Listening to my favorite playlist really loud on a long road trip and singing to myself loudly in my car

Having an entire day to myself without interruptions from anyone

Opening the curtains first thing in the morning

A new jacket

Going to the cinema on a first release day because it's always super exciting and full of people anxious to see a movie they've been waiting for forever

Listening to live music

Riding roller coasters

Going to amusement parks

Lizards

Seahorses

Starfish

Eating fair food

Feeling an instrument vibrate when you’re playing it

Hearing my dog snore

When my dog dreams in his sleep

Wearing a new piece of clothing for the first time

Feeling the sun on you

Eyes in the sunlight

Seeing city lights

Singing in the shower at the top of my lungs

Looking at someone and them knowing exactly what they’re going to say

Laughing till you cry

Being under a blanket

Going to craft stores

Watching boats

The idea of traveling the world

When my dogs let me lay my head on them

Listening to an old song and having it bring back memories

Candy corn

Crazy socks

Quotes

Fall and the leaves changing color and the crisp feeling in the air

Making snowmen

Making gingerbread houses for Christmas

Making videos with family

Burning a candle

Booping a dog’s nose

Getting letters/notes from people; writing them

Snow globes

Dr. Pepper

Doc martens

Fortune cookies

Potatoes

Easter

Finishing something

Skipping rocks

Warm rain

When someone opens up to you

Finding the right words to say exactly what you wanted

Animal footprints

Eating outside

Fairy lights

The smell of a hotel

Windows

Meeting a new dog

Dolphins

Getting magazines in the mail

Being in the woods as the sun starts to rise and the animals wake up

Warm days

Adirondack chairs

A warm breeze

Clothes and blankets hanging outside to dry

Feeding birds

Aquariums

The color green

Tie dying things

Going to art museums

Going to science museums

New albums from my favorite artists

Seeing moss in nature

Finding cute little mushrooms

When a dog wags its tail a bunch and is excited to see me

Playing fetch with my dog

Obsessing over something and having someone to talk about it with

Going on a walk with my best friend and talking about life

Looking at old pictures and reminiscing on good memories

Reading a book that's so good your brain wants to read faster than it can

Laughing with friends about the weirdest things

Being appreciated for doing small things you wouldn't even have thought about yourself because it's something you *just do*

Being creative

Watching animals

A story I can't put down

Stretching

The moment when you listen to a new song/album by your favourite artist

When you're at a concert and anticipating the moment before the band comes out

When at a concert and they play your favourite song live

The moment when someone compliments your outfit

When you see someone wearing merch of something you like

Seeing the sunrise/sunset

Watching the sun rise out of the water or sink down into it as it’s setting

This ecstatic feeling in general when you're just living in the moment with people who love something as much as you do

Hugging my cat and smelling his fur

Listening to my music by myself and singing to it

Making edits I’m really proud of

Losing hours in a good book or fanfiction

Writing sentences that I actually like

My siblings and my parents when they're being chill and funny

Watching my favorite tv shows and movies and yelling about them into the void

Finding a new good song

Fresh out of the shower + fresh clean sheets feeling when you go to bed

When I come downstairs in the morning and my dog greets me right at the bottom step with her lil’ tail wagging

Knowing that if I ever needed someone to chat with, someone would be there to lend an ear

Tigers

Lions

When you shuffle your music and the exact song you want to hear plays

When all my family is around the outdoor fire on a summer’s evening

When my nieces and nephews give me squishy kid hugs

Being home alone and being able to cook or bake in the kitchen without disruption

Driving around with a friend in the evenings and just belting our favorite songs

Seaside walks

Disney World

Seeing live theatre

The sun shining on leaves and stone buildings

Dancing when I'm alone

Color-coordinating my outfit

Floating on my back in the sea

The smell of summer nights

The smell of winter mornings

Colorful things/environments

Bunnies

Walking along lakes/rivers/the sea

Spending time in nature

Taking care of my plants

Giving affection to my loved ones

Listening to other people's stories

Reading about people I've never met before or places I've never visited before (especially if they are now just a part of history)

Embroidering

Pandas

Swimming in a river or the sea

Stargazing (my favorite moments usually happen an hour before sunrise)

White-caged-bird

Feeling the breeze when I spin and my heartbeat when I dance for an hour at a time

All the wonderful smells of flowers and colours that nature has to offer

Sharing good laughter with someone

Feeling like I belong

Travelling and discovering new customs of different cultures

Hiking or foraging

That feeling when I'm approaching the end of a really good book and I let myself be engulfed by the fact that it's a unique experience, that I'll never experience as the first time again

Observing my local fauna

Petting and taking care of an animal (double the joy if it is friendly with strangers)

Drinking a good cup of honey tea

Finding a perfume that suits me

Eating something sweet

Enjoying a meal with others

Cat paws tapping on the floor

Dipping a biscuit into tea

Trying to catch leaves falling from the tree

Having sunlight hit your face when you’re napping

Objects that cast a rainbow when the sun shines through them

Seeing patterned shadows

Ambient mood lighting

Sleeping

Wearing jewelry

Cheese

Playing chess

Fresh air

Going somewhere new

My Mom’s cooking

Being inspired

When someone holding your hand rubs their thumb lovingly in circles

Picking strawberries

Otters

Painting the walls of my room

Wind chimes

Seeing that your favorite people are active online

Finally understanding something you were struggling with

The excitement you get when someone reblogs your writing or art

Getting a new notebook or journal

Appreciation

Validation

When someone tells you they love you and mean it

The smell of freshly baked bread

When my dog falls asleep on me

Making new online friends

Found family

Finishing cleaning my room

When someone lays their head on your shoulder

Doing something right on the first try

Finally sitting down after standing for a long time

Getting goosebumps from hearing or seeing something you love

Seeing a gorgeous view

Loving someone and them loving you back

Freshly baked gooey cookies

When a song comes on and everyone starts singing

When I’m out for a run and it’s hot and it starts raining. Nothing makes me feel more like a human than getting caught in the rain on a run

Swimming in the ocean

When people are talking about something they really love and get carried away trying to explain it all to you

Puppies

Being in the middle of nowhere and actually getting to see the whole sky of stars that you never get to see in a city

Finding people that love the same things you do

When something silly reminds you of someone you love; like every time I see an orange and green gummy worm I think of my sister

When you’re hugging someone and they squeeze you a little bit before they let go

Weather where you can leave all the windows open in your house

Trampolines

Driving with no destination in mind

Falling asleep to the sound of rain

Hearing other people laugh

Laughing only because you hear someone else laugh and it's just so contagious

The first snowfall of the year

Disney movies

Listening to someone tell stories and they have like 15 side stories in between the main one

Romantic movies

Bubble baths

Smiling between kisses

Wearing sweatpants

A clean house

Pizza

My computer

Cheesy pickup lines

When people tell me they miss me

Cool spring mornings after a storm

My job

Butterflies

New shoes

Oversized shoes

Caramel apples

Volunteering

Meditating

Running my blog

Finding sea glass at the beach

Getting my nails done

Planning vacation

Hot cider

Telling people I love them

Writing in my gratitude journal

Eating homegrown vegetables, fruit, and herbs

Remembering a good dream I had

Happy endings

Colored pens

Decorating for the holidays

Finishing a really good tv show

Leopards

Summer rain

Thunderstorms where I can just open my window to the full extent and just watch and listen

Calls with my best friend

Seeing a meme and sending it to my friends

Getting an email from AO3

That moment when you get an idea for creating something

Walking barefoot on the grass

Sending thank you notes

Writing events I’m looking forward to on my calendar

Dippin' Dots

Spicy food

Seeing a full moon

Eating cookie dough

Eating seasonal food

Bubble wrap

Going to the car wash and getting rainbow soap

Dark chocolate

Soft blankets

Weighted blankets

Soft drinks with crushed ice

When I get an unexpected phone call from someone I love

Wearing flip flops

Longer daylight hours

Having a BBQ

Frosting cookies

Making cupcakes in the microwave

Watching the Hallmark channel during the holidays

Taking selfies or photos with people I love

Putting on lotion

The smell of a baby’s head

The Office

Online shopping

The smell of freshly cut grass

Surprising my family or friends

Looking at the clock when it’s 11:11

Being productive

Quilts

Doing good on an exam

Someone doing a favor for me (especially when I didn’t ask)

Eating pancakes with syrup

Origami

Sprinkles

Confetti

Waving at people

Giving high fives

Complicated Handshakes between you and your best friend

Naps/feeling well-rested

Eating one of my favorite foods

Hearing good news from/about a friend or family member

Looking at nature (these days it's seeing squirrels in my neighbour's garden and looking at my plants and trees)

When make someone happy or feel like I made a difference (including a satisfied client)

Success (good grades, a gifset that does well)

Hugs from my mom

Learning new things

Chatting with my friends because they’re all amazing people

Group watches of my favorite tv show or movie

That feeling when the house has just been cleaned/when I’m freshly showered

Making jokes/laughing with people

Reading fluffy fanfics

Driving on the road to a destination far away, I love the trip as much as (if not more than) arriving at the actual place

Reading affirmations

Green tea

Getting breakfast or lunch from a nice restaurant

Learning about topics that won’t benefit me; like Chinese history, geography, ancient flora and fauna, etc. just things that I find cool

The jokes my girlfriend makes, especially when they’re the same ones she always makes

Stories from the past! Stories from history from people who actually lived through it

Stories in general, just hearing the life experiences of people in completely different positions from me. I love hearing people’s stories

Drawing intricate things, like old buildings, landscapes, and plants

Cooking a nice meal

Grocery shopping and farmers markets especially

My cat! All of her weird little habits too, like how she stands in front of my feet so I’ll push her where she wants to go

Botanical gardens

State parks

Museums

Art galleries

Listening to stories my grandparents tell

When people tell me about their life goals and dreams

Being surrounded by the people I love

Living the best life I can

Partying hard the night away

Daydreaming

Sunflowers always make me smile

Warm tea

Big fluffy clouds in a blue sky

Friendly babies

Hearing a past favorite song

Singing karaoke

Biking riding

Helping others

Chocolate milk

Sweets and fruits

Having fun doing things I love

Dragons

Video games

My favorite things

Writing

Affection

Exercising

Being on Tumblr

Looking at flowers and plants

Playing with my cats

Chatting with my friends (at the moment it’s through zoom, of course)

Finding new ways to decorate my room

Window shopping

Spending time with my boyfriend

Wearing my favorite outfit/accessory

Eating something delicious

The cool side of my pillow

Tears of joy

Woodpeckers

Reading poems

Hugging trees

Tree houses

Airstreams/campers

Playing frisbee

Making sculptures

Puppy ears

The first day of spring

The first day of summer

Sending silly photos to my friends

Building sand castles

Winning prizes at the fair or arcade

Marbles

Cacti

Scrolling through my phone

Writing fanfiction

Seeing someone you haven't seen for a really long time

Putting together collages

Printing out photos I love

DIY projects

Sewing

Crocheting

Listening to steel drums

Haunted houses

Going through a corn maze

Picking fresh fruit or vegetables

Bubble tea

Starbucks

Dunkin donuts

Disneyland

Disney Princesses

Climbing trees

Finishing errands

Rewatching my favorite episodes

Scrunchies

Milkshakes

Ice cream blizzards

Listening to acoustic versions of songs

Hot tubs

Rubber ducks

Coconut flavored food

Dipping fries in ice cream

Discovering a new type of animal

Seeing hot air balloons

Frogs/toads

Splashing in puddles

Having plants inside my house

Teddy bears

Iridescent/holographic things

Bird houses

Breakfast in bed

Crystals/gemstones

Ziplining

Dew drops

Glow sticks

Flower crowns (especially handmade ones)

Spring rain

Watching other people make art

Lighthouses

Finding heart shaped things in nature

Thinking of getting my own apartment

Coming up with a new recipe for food

Cookbook recipes passed down through families

Bookshelves

Making pretty yogurt bowls

Seaside houses

Flying on planes and being in/above the clouds

Flower bouquets

Looking at and learning about the planets

Fruit snacks

Palm trees

Weeping willow trees

Cherry blossoms

Eating cake

Decorating cakes with eccentric icing designs and colors

Whipped cream

Having snowball fights

Hearing Christmas music

Tattoos

Wearing rings

Green grass

A tidy organized desk with cute desk supplies

My craft room

Hammocks

Little cottages

Cotton candy (and cotton candy flavored things)

Looking at all the paint pallet colors in paint stores

Stamps

Taking silly photos in photobooths

Going to the mall

Making jam, especially strawberry jam

Reading outside

Finding a bird nest and watching eggs hatch

Looking at photos of my family and friends

Finding old flora and art books

Eating fresh corn on the cob with butter on a summer day

Lily Pads

Icicles

Inner peace

Sitting under a tree

Not having to turn on the light in your room when the sun is shining through

When restaurants have patios you can dine at

Fishing on a pier

Seeing old couples in public

Making gifs

Trees swaying in the wind

Anime

Dying Easter eggs

Laying in the trunk of a car and watching the clouds or stars

Night lights

Flower shops

Outer space

Kitchens

PB&J sandwiches

Toasted Cheese

LoFi music

Listening to/watching ambience videos

Turtle necks

Peaches

Looking at old maps

Figurines of the earth/globe

Honey and bees

Cheesecake

Seeing footprints in sand and watching them be washed away by waves

Anything related to the moon, stars, and sun

Reading my horoscope (even if I know it’s not real)

Archways decorated with hanging flowers

Yogurt

Pudding

Knowing that I’m not alone

Ancient roman sculptures

Macarons

When someone tells me they care about me

Weddings

Watercolour

Birthday parties

My brother

My sister

When my dog leaves his bed to lay in the sunlight

Doing mini photoshoots with my friends

Hand making bracelets/necklaces (friendship bracelets)

When someone calls me darling or honey

Love letters

Game night

Skateboarding

Stress balls and squishy toys

Starting something I’ve been wanting to do for a long time

Playing cards

Doing puzzles

Word searches

Kittens

Ordering takeout

Stepping out into the fresh air

Creating vision boards

Getting a massage

Writing positive affirmations

Lunch dates

Standup comedy

Listening to classical music

Nature/animal documentaries

Having someone there to listen to me

Listening to someone when they need it

Accepting myself for who I am

Looking back and seeing how far I’ve come and all the progress I've made

Doing something my future self will be thankful for

Speaking up for myself

Being near loved ones

Finding time for my hobbies

Giving myself time to rest

Saturday mornings

Marrying the one I love

Discovering new things

Going to new cities

My idols

Pastries

Feeling the wind on my face on a car ride

The sensation of music in my ears and like nothing else matters

People who have my best interest in mind

Simplicity

Fulfilling my dreams

Discovering a new ice cream flavor

Knitting

Making myself a priority

Knowing that I am important, and I matter

Thank you all so much for following me and supporting my blog! It means a TON! I never expected for this blog to become popular, especially because I originally started it to help myself get through some mental health issues. I am so happy to be able to share my journey of healing with you all! It means the world to me to help or make a positive impact on even just one person’s life! Each and every single one of you is amazing!! You matter and you are SO important! Thanks again for your everything! Have a great day!!! Sending sunshine your way!!

#10K Followers!!!#WOW!!#Thank you so much!!#Positivity #Happy List #Reasons to Smile #Happy #Happy Things #You are so amazing #You Matter #<3 #jkshdfka #this is the project I was working on #thanks everyone for the help #ilyasm #I loved reading all your submissions so much #you all are so sweet ahh #this was so fun to do #I hope you like this

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