#started drinking Monsters again too and they always make me anxious (bc I dont eat anything)
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I truly and honestly dont even have the energy or willpower to eat anymore. I'll have 1 thing a day maximum I am so miserable
#started drinking Monsters again too and they always make me anxious (bc I dont eat anything)#idk I feel like my body is in pain all the time & my chest hurts all the time#and all it does is make me too anxious to eat or take care of myself. I feel like a fucking child#Im never gonna grow up am I. im such a big stupid mess. a kid trapped in an adults body. I want to mature with my age#but it feels like ive been stuck at the same age for like 10 years. ptsd has given me brain damage#I cant handle anything anymore. I want to break down at the smallest things#Why am I such a worthless failure piece of shit loser. I have a pit in my stomach every fucking day#the crushing anxiety is wearing me down. I dont even care anymore#I just. cant do it lol I just really cant take it much longer truly. I want to live I want to live I want to be able to breathe steady#vent#tw vent
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