#started by copying a post. turned into full ass rant. im not sorry
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incorrect-hs-quotes · 1 year ago
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KARKAT: HEARD SOMEONE SAY "WHO EVEN OWNS A ROLLING PIN ANYMORE" AND MY BRAIN FUCKING FROZE TRYING TO PROCESS IT. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN. ARE YOU IMPLYING ROLLING PINS ARE OUTDATED TECHNOLOGY?? DID WE COME UP WITH A SHINY NEW 21ST CENTURY METHOD OF FLATTENING DOUGH OF WHICH I REMAIN UNINFORMED?! IS THERE NOW AN APP ON THE APP STORE PEOPLE ARE USING INSTEAD??? I'M LOSING MY MIND.
KARKAT: "OOOOH WHO EVEN OWNS A ROLLING PIN" PEOPLE WHO BAKE. YOU IDIOT. YOU ABSOLUTE SHITLESS CHICKEN LEG OF A FUCKING PERSON. ARE YOU JUST SMASHING YOUR PHONE INTO YOUR DOUGH AND EXPECTING IT TO BE MAGICALLY MADE FLAT BY THE *MIRACLE OF TECHNOLOGY* LIKE A DELUDED TECH BRO KISSING HIS STUPID APES AND THINKING THEY'RE ACTUALLY WORTH MORE THAN THEIR OWN PISS ON A GOOD DAY?
KARKAT: "WHO EVEN OWNS A ROLLING PIN" YOU ARE THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE SMART DEVICES IN EVERY FUCKING ROOM IN YOUR HOUSE AND TREAT YOUR ALEXA LIKE FAMILY EVEN AS IT WATCHES YOU AND TRANSMITS DATA TO OUR CORPORATE OVERLORDS. "OOOH I GOT A NEW SMART OVEN" WHY DOES YOUR OVEN NEED TO BE SMART? IT DOESN'T! IT CAN BE DUMB IT'S NOT A SIN. IS IGNORANCE NOT BLISS? CAN MY FRIDGE NOT PEACEFULLY TOIL ITS DAYS OUT COOLING MY FOOD AND DISPENSING MY WATER, UNAWARE OF THE LARGER WORLD IN WHICH IT LIVES? BECAUSE IT'LL BE HAPPY DOING THAT.
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cindytingle-blog · 6 years ago
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silk | spiderman.
two
summary: wouldn't everyone like to be taken in by THE tony stark? i mean, you get to hang out with the freaking avengers everyday right?
cindy moon begs to differ.
word count: 2,035
A/N: sorry it lowkey sucks, im not the best at writing fight scenes to be honest
"ELLA CAN WE go?" I groaned as I laid there on the bleachers, back against the cold metal as I watched her doing sprints across the track field. "If I don't get food in my stomach in the next twenty minutes, I will kill you."
She stops running in front of the bleachers, hands on her hips as she caught her breath.
"You're talking to the girl who eats like 2,000 calories in one sitting," she breathes out, letting out a breathy chuckle afterwards. I rolled my eyes as I sat up, fixing my hair as I did so.
"You've been running out here for like an hour and a half now, I literally finished my homework forty-five minutes ago. You should be tired," I complained as I stood up, grabbing her water bottle from her bag before tossing it over to her. "You don't wanna get a heat stroke do you?"
"Relax, I'm not gonna get a heat stroke," she assured as she took a big sip from her water. "Just five more minutes."
"And after five minutes you'll only have fifteen minutes to get food in my stomach before I murder you," I replied, groaning as I sat back down.
"I can work with that."
I once again watched as she practiced her sprinting drills, literally flying across the track. Meanwhile, I pulled out my phone from my pocket and scrolled through social media. I scrolled past the numerous posts about Iron Man and the Avengers, not interested in reading them at the moment.
I ended up finding a photo of Ned and Peter, posted on Ned's account, which showed them posing with a Lego tower. I snickered, scrolling past it before I see a pair of sneakers in front of me.
"You ready to go?" I looked up to see Ella standing there, a sweat towel pressed to her forehead before she let it drop on her shoulder.
"Finally," I groaned, grabbing my backpack before we walked down the bleachers, heading for downtown.
We walked into the cafe, quickly ordering before sitting down at our usual table by the window.
"You're lucky you got all that money, you buy like five hundred sandwiches," I laughed as we got situated.
"Listen, when you're a true athlete like me, you get hungry a lot," she explained as she grabbed her phone. "Whether it's protein or not."
I mean, I swing on webs and fight criminals after school, isn't that sort of the same?
"Yeah, okay," I chuckled as we hopped onto our phones.
"Did you see Liz's new hairstyle?" She questioned, which I replied with shaking my head. She pushed her phone into my face, showing me the picture of the senior girl Liz, posing in a picture with her best friend Betty, her hair now straighter with a slight wave.
"It looks good on her," I replied, not really caring about it that much. I zoned out right when Ella went on a rant about something irrelevant as I looked at my phone to see that the attempted robbery yesterday was actually on the news.
'He just pointed a gun at my head,' the cashier of the small convenience story, Emma Ferguson, explained. 'He forced me to give him the money from the cash register, and obviously I was like scared for my life so I did it. But then this like, superhero girl thing came and beat the crap out of him, it was crazy! She quickly bought something before running out of the store quickly'
"Oh god," I groaned under my breath, pinching the bridge of my nose.
"Something wrong?" Ella questioned, trying to lean over the table to see what I was looking at. I was quick to shake my head, playing if off as nothing.
"It's nothing, just really hungry," I replied as I continued to read the article.
'Could you describe the girl's appearance?' We asked Ferguson.
'Well, she looked kind of young, but that's just from judging by her face above her nose. She wore a red mask thing on her nose which covered everything below it, and her suit it was like some sort of black, white, and red spandex suit,' Ferguson explained. 'The arms and legs were black meanwhile the torso part was white with a red like webbing pattern.'
My thoughts were interrupted by the employee setting our food down in front of us.
"There you go," he spoke, shooting a friendly smile down at us. "Is there anything I can grab you guys?"
"Nope, I think we're good," Ella replied, sending the guy off before she began stuffing her face once again. I sighed, locking my phone before placing it on the table besides my plate. "What were you so focused on?"
I looked up at her, sending her a questioning look.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, what were you looking at on your phone?" She questioned through a full mouth. "You were like glaring down at it, was kinda creepy."
I rose my shoulders up in a shrug as I took a bite from my sandwich.
"Just reading something I found," I replied simply, hoping she would drop the subject. Fortunately, she just shrugged her shoulders and continued eating.
"So Cindy," she spoke up, dropping her third sandwich onto her plate. "What'd you get for number nine on our biology homework?"
I raised an eyebrow at her, shaking my head disappointedly.
"I thought we talked about this Ella," I sighed. "No more copying off my homework."
"But Cindy-"
"No buts Ella, do your own homework," I rolled my eyes, finally finishing my food. She groaned, throwing her head down as she stomped her feet.
"Come on!" She whined, grabbing my arm. "Please just one more time?"
"I thought I told you no," I scoffed, ripping my arm out from her grip. She pouted once again, crossing her arms as she leaned back in her chair.
"You just aren't being fair right now," she mumbled, eating the rest of her third sandwich.
"I'm being fa- are you being serious?" My eyes widened as I stared at her, watching her every movement.
"Yes, you aren't being fair," she stuck her tongue out afterwards as she took a bite from her pickle.
"Whatever."
___________________
After finishing up at the cafe, we began our walk to Ella's house, which thankfully wasn't very far at all.
"You don't think your foster mother will actually kill you right?" She questioned as she played with the straps of her backpack. I chuckled, elbowing her.
"I'll just have to run off before she can."
We both laughed, but it ended almost as soon as it started.
"Down on the ground!"
Our heads both snapped to our right to see a woman on the ground, her face pressed against the concrete while a man holding long, unusual looking gun pressed the gun to her temple.
"Holy shit," Ella muttered before grabbing my wrist. "Cindy, we have to go. Come on!"
She tried to drag me away, but while running I slipped away, digging into my backpack as I ran into an alleyway. I quickly stripped out of my clothes, changing into my suit before hiding my backpack under the dumpster. I pulled my mask on before running out from the alleyway, approaching the man and woman.
"Hey buddy!" I yelled to grab their attention, the man's eyes turning upwards to me.
"Who the hell are you?" He questioned, keeping his foot on the woman's head as he pointed his gun at me.
"I'm literally about to kick your ass, don't think my identity is really important right now," I spoke. He glared before firing a bullet, which I was quick to dodge before I shot a web towards his wrist, twisting it which caused him to yelp in pain and let go of the gun.
"For a criminal, you're kind of a dumbass," I commented before running towards him, swiping his feet out from under him. He grunted but got up back onto his feet, quickly going for his gun.
He began firing numerous bullets, which I jumped out of the way every bullet he shot before shooting another web, grabbing the gun from him.
"What the hell?" He yelled as the woman scrambled up, running away from the scene. Running up towards him, I swung the gun to his head, which seemed to have knocked him out of consciousness. I chuckled before spinning a web around his body, completely trapping him. "That was just too easy, I swear."
I pulled him up, shooting a web onto his mouth as well just to prevent hearing his voice if he were to wake up before we got to the police station. I quickly threw him over my shoulder before beginning to walk away from the scene.
As I walked, I was quick to notice that multiple people had been videoing the whole thing.
"Great," I mumbled under my breath, breaking out into a sprint towards the police station.
Quickly running inside, I toss the man over to the first cop I saw.
"Bad guy, tried to shoot me and someone else!" I informed before quickly running out of the station, back towards the alleyway where I left my backpack. "Oh, ew."
Cautiously going onto my knees, I dragged my backpack out from under the dumpster before quickly changing back into my regular clothes.
"Gross," I complained from touching the dirty dumpster, grabbing my hand sanitizer before squeezing some onto my hands and rubbing them together. "I really need to hide my backpack somewhere that's not a health hazard."
I sprinted across the street as I searched for Ella, only for her to not be found. Quickly grabbing my phone from my backpack, I was quick to notice all the missed calls from Ella. I sighed as I pressed the call button.
"Hel-"
"Cindy Moon, where the hell are you?" Her voice screeched into my ear, causing me to hold the phone away from my ear.
"Jesus Ella! You don't have to scream!" I grunted, shaking my head.
"Oh I'm sorry that I'm worried for your ass! You just disappeared while someone was about to get murdered right in front of us!" She yelled, panting afterwards. "Tell me where you are!"
"I'm like three blocks away from where they were," I mumbled, pressing my back against the building beside me.
"You're three blocks-" she scoffed. "Just stay there, I'll be there in a few minutes."
She hung up, causing me to let out a sigh of relief.
She was gonna kill me.
_____________________
"Olivia, I'm home!" I announced as I walked through the door.
"Cindy!"
The hair on the back of my neck stood straight up, causing me to quickly look to my left and catch the football before it could smack me in the face.
"Charlie what have I told you about this?" I scolded, throwing the football back. "Stop throwing balls at me when I get home."
He stuck his tongue out tauntingly, causing me to roll my eyes before heading towards the stairs. Before I could head up the staircase, the news quickly caught my attention.
"Witnesses say the masked figure was spider-like, shooting webs out from her fingers before tying the shooter up with the webs."
My eyes widened as a video played of me, fighting the man from earlier.
"Shit," I muttered.
"She looks so cool," I looked over to Charlie whom's eyes were glued to the television. "Wish I could shoot webs from my fingers. Pew!"
He then pretended to shoot webs at me, causing me roll my eyes before running up the stairs and into my room. I shut the door quickly, throwing my backpack down on the floor next to my bed before slipping my shoes off and throwing myself onto my bed.
I looked over to my open backpack to see my suit peeking out from the side. I sighed, turning onto my side as I stared at it.
If only I wasn't bitten by that stupid spider, I wouldn't have to risk my life everyday like this.
But I had no choice, I had to have gotten these powers for a reason.
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