#staring at my ceiling crying

[ephemeralzenith]

fate vs agency: altan trengsin and fang runin

The Phoenix outright states: ‘You humans always think you’re destined for things, for tragedy or for greatness. Destiny is a myth. Destiny is the only myth. The gods choose nothing. You chose.’ But is that true?

Altan and especially Rin were doomed by the narrative the moment Speer was razed, the moment they were whisked from their homes to a lab or an abusive household.

The thing is: nobody actually wanted them. They were dirty Speerly shaman trash; Altan was experimented on and Rin was abused for her entire childhood. Even in Sinegard, they were both discriminated against - Altan’s a freak of nature who is used for entertainment even if people fear him, and Rin is only her skin colour - even though they both worked so hard and DESERVED to go there. Nobody wanted them until they went to the Cike.

This fuels the anger that has been curated since they were literal kids. Of course they’re angry, and of course they don’t know how to express that in a healthy way - they’ve ALWAYS been abused, they’ve never known anything else. Obviously that doesn’t excuse some of the things they’ve done because of this anger (see: Altan’s abusive behaviour and Rin’s genocide), but the people around them, and society as a whole, failed them. There were two children, maybe Speerlies, but they were two hurt and scared children.

They did choose some things, but they were doomed the moment that Nikan decided to place them in Shiro and the Fangs’ hands. They were so angry, so hurt, so scared - they never would know anything else, really.

Fate doomed not only Rin’s fate, but the possible future she’d have with Nezha. They loved each other, but they could never have each other. Rinezha are the star-crossed lovers, the Romeo and Juliet, the Pyramus and Thisbe, the fleeting touch, the only kiss, the necessary betrayal and the leaving one behind. They are a walking juxtaposition - fire and water, general who wants absolute destruction and government official/ruler who needs Nikan to be safe for the future, poor and rich etc etc. And yet, they have these soft moments because they know how war destroys; they love each other in spite of all of this, but they can never have each other, because Nezha is the last Yin left, and Rin will never live in a world where Hesperians rule her home.

The Phoenix (and Rin by extension, I guess) doesn’t believe fate exists - that there is a choice for everything - but literally everything ensured Rin and Nezha would never be happy and in love: their race, their positions in power, their ideologies, their families, their relationships with other people, their thought patterns, their beliefs, their relationship with their power/shamanism… literally everything would’ve fucked them up. And yet, here they are defying fate, only to fall back into it again. Love is not enough.

The same goes for Altan and Chaghan. They can never have a healthy relationship where Altan doesn’t die. Altan cannot live, he’s self destructive and miserable and angry. He lives only to destroy and when he isn’t destroying, he wants to die.

They could’ve made choices, yes, but nobody makes rational choices in war. They were limited by the tools society gave them, and yeah, they were awful people, but fate itself doomed them before they were old enough to think.

:(

[not-equippedforthis]

shout out to the very distinct feeling of 'oh god i'm going to become at least mildly annoying about this aren't i'. binging ds9 season 1 and i outright giggled at a very small mannerism julian did. got hyped when o'brien showed up. grinned widely at kira just Being There. felt the urge to yell and cheer and scream at the slightest hint of whump. the character dynamics and friendships are beginning to interweave like strings in a tapestry and i almost detonated upon realising this. uh oh.

[yujeong]

Me: Damn, I didn't expect to love Tonkla as much as I do, I wonder why that is

Tonkla: *is insanely lonely and self-destructive and tries to cope in concerningly unhealthy ways*

Also me: Oh

[wordsinhaled]

is it late enough at night that i can share my /hj headcanon that edwin is a secret chappell roan enjoyer?

bet he first hears chappell on one of crystal’s playlists and makes a big point of scoffing, but HOT TO GO! actually kind of gets him in his feelings. crystal catches him one day humming it and swaying along in his own elegant and dancerly way, sort of lost in his own world while reorganizing his bookshelves. only because charles happens to be out, of course

she startles him and he whirls around with his hand on his heart even though ghosts can’t actually have a heart attack

they share this staredown that worldlessly communicates “you are never living this down” “if you ever use this as blackmail material against me i will enchant all of your socks to never have a pair for the rest of time”

(a few days later edwin finds a copy of the rise and fall of a midwest princess vinyl leaning up against the victrola waiting for him. ‘cause crystal gets it, okay. she gets it)

[kimuramasaya]

S.I.L.Y. (221115) ✧ Yoseob

[bigtittiecomitte]

Me after reading this fanfic

[hyperfocusthusly]

Something about Charles bringing the exact same type of lantern into Hell to save Edwin that Edwin bought into the attic where he gently told Charles stories while he died

[baeshijima]

HAPPY BDAY WORLDWIDE BELOVED

[emagios]

Why am I on the depressed side of the zelink fandom 😭😭😭

I see one breathtaking, renaissance esque artwork, and then the most soul crushing character analysis between the two (but HEAVY on botw/totk zelink)

[xi-off]

very silly ghost head sequel concept where yuu and shou are paranormal investigators

(yuu still likes her headbands but shou prefers his hair up. hairstyle of the day just depends on who gets up first. as do some other things)

[xxplastic-cubexx]

i’m way to angry of a person to relate to charles as much as i do. anyway please never stop drawing first class cherik i love them so much

not sure what i can do for you for that first bit but i can for sure do a better job at fulfillin that second part !!!!!!

[bylertruther]

y'all moved on but i literally still can't believe this is real life. what the fuck. spread ur wings, mr schnapp... sniffling, crying, weeping bc i am so full of Joy... not 2 be corny but it's always a lovely thing when someone steps into the light n lives their truth... when they feel safe and loved enough by those in their life that they feel they can and genuinely want to share this part of themselves with the world... mr schnapp who has played will byers for such a big part of his life and explored his own self and come to terms with who he is at the same time that will has... will, who means so much to so many and has such a realistic journey that we seldom get to see, especially in such mainstream media, literally the biggest show in the world... just so moved that he went from being scared in the closet to feeling so loved and at peace that he would share this part of himself with the world in such a silly, light-hearted, and entirely noah way, always so true to himself and full of light... i just. 🥺 a lot of feelings are being felt rn. good for him!! GOOD FOR HIM!!!!! 💗🏳️‍🌈🫂

[anotherpapercut]

I have a job interview in 1 hour and I think I might throw up

[todayisafridaynight]

yk in retrospect it really is no surprise that rgg has a lot of queer fans. outside of the games being utterly homosexual of course

[ignitification]

“I want to take care of Miri. I couldn’t do anything. I didn’t even try. I refused to face reality, ran away from my father. I was little more than a breathing statue. I was okay with that. But now I’ve learned that people’s hands feel warm. That there are places that feel nice to stay. We have to take care of her. We can change.”

[thewingedwolf]

this man. tells blue. after she found out izzy had been leaking info, jared had been hiding a shitton of info from her, & all her allies don’t trust her anymore & she didn’t know why. and that she’s feeling unsure about everything. he fucking tells her. “if you only felt comfortable with me and izzy you shouldn’t have agreed to a final four.”

BITXH?!