#starbucks emotion ad video

[mahamid110]

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- Gym

- Hair Salon

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- Jewelry

- Realtors

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[hannahsmusings]

Jackson

*Jackson’s head felt heavy with all of the thoughts that were running through it, his chest so tight with unspoken emotion and he wasn’t sure how much longer he could go on like this, never experiencing these sorts of emotions before, not even for his own fiancé, and that added a layer of guilt that made his head hurt even more* *he pushed th thought of Madison from his mind, just wanting to focus on the here and now which was also new for him, Jackson basically living in the future and constantly thinking about the next step, but right now, he just wanted to be present with you* *he scoffs playfully as you rib him for not even drinking the coffee, shrugging* Sorry, I was a bit busy trying to preserve my business and my good name. I don’t really reheat coffee. Do you who I am? *he chuckles, giving you a soft smile, his body clearly sagged with relaxation and relief, so happy now that Parker was back on board and that his huge project that was going to bring in millions of dollars wasn’t going to fall through, knowing he had you to thank for it all* *he feels a pang of warmth hit his heart as he sees you look at the label and smiling, knowing that he got it right, not realizing that he really did pick up so many little facts about you over the weeks of working together, he didn’t even know Madison’s coffee order or if she liked coffee yet he knew exactly how you liked your coffee and even how you took your tea* *he sits down when you do, taking a long sip of his coffee, not minding that it nearly burnt his tongue, not realizing how badly he needed a caffeine boost until now* Yes, that’s probably good. I brought some work shirts and I can change if we need to do any video calls. *he runs a hand through his hair, realizing he would need to fix that as well if anyone was going to be seeing him, sighing a bit as he took another sip of his coffee* I also need to call my father… I’m putting it off, but I’m sure he is waiting to hear from me. Unfortunately. *he groans as he sits back in his chair, that familiar tightness creeping through his chest, his shoulders getting a bit stiffer at the mention of his father*

_________________________________

*chuckles at your teasing, grinning a little and shrugging* You drink Starbucks, my estimation off what you do and don’t do has definitely changed. *laughs a little, liking that we were back to the comfortable teasing, despite my heart still pounding from our closeness a second ago* *sips my coffee and hums, settling at the table and in my own world as I put a tick next to Parker’s name, not realising you were looking at me* *looks up and nods as you say you could change for video meetings* I can be in the background note taking and actioning if that’s helpful. *murmurs softly before raising a brow as you mention your father, watching with intrigue how you retreat in on yourself even thinking of him, your expression darkening and frowning for you, hating that he had this effect on you* I can call him if you want? Update him and tell him you’re in a meeting? *your father terrified me and he clearly despised me but I could see how it was affecting you and if I could make it easier then I wanted to try, wanting to ease your burden as much as possible* 

[dwaynespano]

Starbucks emphasizes its mission of igniting and nourishing the human spirit one person, one cup, and one neighborhood at a time in its one-minute "It Starts With You" advertisement. In the advertisement, a diverse group of Starbucks employees and customers are shown smiling while doing various activities such as drinking coffee, chatting with friends, and using laptop computers. The video emphasizes the importance of interpersonal relationships and community while encouraging viewers to better their own lives as well as the lives of those around them.

The target market for the "It Starts With You" advertisement includes a diverse group of people who value close-knit communities and interpersonal relationships, as well as current and potential Starbucks customers. The advertisement's target market is people who want to improve the world and feel a sense of purpose and belonging.

Even though they aren't always the main focus, the video promotes Starbucks snacks and beverages. Instead, the emotions and interactions accompanying visiting a Starbucks location and meeting new people are emphasized. Instead of being essential to the advertisement's message, the products are presented as a fun addition to the sense of community.

The advertisement "It Starts With You" does not appear to result from overt media manipulation. The video does not advertise the brand or products using overtly persuading or deceptive strategies such as guilt or fear. Instead, it emphasizes community and human connection, which should appeal to a broad audience.

The "It Starts With You" advertisement captures viewers' attention because it appeals to a universal desire for belonging and connection. The video's upbeat and encouraging message motivates viewers to take action to better their communities. Due to the diversity of the cast, the advertisement appeals to a larger audience of viewers who can identify with the situations and emotions depicted in the clip.

The advertisement went viral and sparked debate because it was released when the country debated social justice and racial inequality issues. Some viewers felt that the advertisement's portrayal of a sense of community and belonging could have been more complex because it did not directly address these issues. Some praised the advertisement's upbeat message and diverse casting.

Starbucks' brand and overall mission are successfully and positively promoted in the "It Starts With You" advertisement. It taps into viewers' innate desire for belonging and connection, inspiring them to take action to make a difference in the world. It may not be able to solve all of our society's complex problems. Still, it serves as a powerful reminder of the importance of interpersonal relationships and businesses' role in fostering them.

References:

ETBrandEquity. (2022). Starbucks makes coffee experience better with personalised names in new ad. ETBrandEquity.com. https://brandequity.economictimes.indiatimes.com/news/advertising/starbucks-makes-coffee-experience-better-with-personalised-names-in-new-ad/92802091

[squideo]

Why Should You Animate Your Business Story?

Telling your businesses’ story is important. It humanises your brand for customers and gives people a better insight into your company. But how to do it? 

Animation is a powerful medium for storytelling, and a well-crafted story is ideal to build brand loyalty and B2C relationships. Consumers are less interested in listening to ordinary promotional messages and prefer to watch videos that tell compelling personal or brand stories. The ideal way to do that is with an animated video. Animated videos allow you to experiment with various styles and effects and puts no limitations on your imagination.

What is a Businesses’ Story?

Creating an animated business story has a lot of benefits, so let’s explore a few of them. One of the best reasons to create a video is to show off your company’s accomplishments. 

It’s a tough world for any business to survive in, and the older your company is the more impressive it becomes. It puts you ahead of your competitors. Won any awards that are hidden away at headquarters? Instead of taking them on a tour, talk about what made you a winner and set yourself even further apart from other contenders vying for their custom. 

Taking your customers and clients through the story of your business humanises your brand, especially if you focus on the story of the company founders and other people instrumental to its development. This lets the audience forge an emotional connection to these people and become motivated to see the continued success of their business. 

Animating your story also saves a lot of time. Instead of creating content for anniversaries and answering the same questions in business profiles and interviews, roll out the video. And don’t worry about it becoming outdated. The beauty of an animated story is that extra frames can be added over time as more accomplishments are accrued. 

What Story to Tell?

The world is full of stories, and choosing the right one to tell is important. Businesses, big and small, have a lot of milestones and accomplishments behind them. So, what story should your animated video focus on?

01. A Tale as Old as Time

Been around the block a few times? An animated video can quickly encapsulate a company’s history, tracking every step from its foundation to its present activity. Showcasing your longevity will demonstrate to an audience that your company is here to stay; and highlighting your accomplishments will establish you as a forerunner in your field. 

This can be a brief tour, such as this video by Kiehl’s, the American cosmetics brand. It explains its foundation then takes viewers through the introduction of new people and the creation of its most popular products. 

Want something more in-depth. Look no further than The LEGO Story, a seventeen-minute long animated video which takes viewers along the entire journey of this company. It’s certainly too long for a television advert, but that hasn’t stopped the video getting 58 million views on YouTube. 

02. Paint the Town…

Major overhaul? A change in directors, logo, name or branding? Transition your customers and clients through this rebrand with an animated video. Create a narrative which explains the reasoning for these changes and makes your audience excited to become a part of your company’s future. 

Burger King launched its new logo and brand guidelines with a punchy video that showcased its new graphics, uniforms and chain interiors. 

When delivery service Hermes rebranded to Evri, a massive campaign went out to publicise the name change and answer the inevitable questions for the reason behind it. The advert focused on customer service, as the business tried to leave its unfavourable brand reputation behind. 

03. I Do Solemnly Swear

For Starbucks’ 50th anniversary, they launched a short video that took viewers through a brief visual tour of their past before focusing on their future commitments to sustainable products. 

As public scrutiny on businesses grows, due to social media exposing their unsavoury practices, some companies have taken the opportunity to refocus their story to put them in a more favourable light. This could be like Starbucks, looking at environmental sustainability, but can also focus on other topics such as providing a living wage, a commitment to health and safety standards, or aligning with social movements. Apple has long committed to being an inclusive workspace, which is a story they tell in the following video.

04. Come Together

2023 marks the 100th anniversary of the Walt Disney Company. Its advertisements have largely focused on encompassing this vast company, rather than focusing on its history. By compiling references to the multiple studios Disney owns, this video shows the story of the world’s most successful media conglomerate. 

[eyecatchersadagency]

Branding vs. Logo Design: Understand the Difference

Everyone must be aware that every company has its logo. Logo is actually been defined as a shape which a company uses to describe itself. For example there are various big companies whose logo is as Nikes’ Swoosh, McDonald’s golden arches (M) and Starbucks has green mermaid. But what exactly is the branding then.

Branding is the complete experience of how your customers experience your company, Brand is the perceived emotional image of a company as a whole while a logo is just a simple mark which helps in identifying the business.

Let me help you in understanding the concept by taking some examples:

NIKE: Nike uses swoosh as the logo which is one of the most recognized logos among all the famous sports brands.

The logo represents motion and speed. It’s very nice but very simple as well. While doing branding they have covered everything including commercials, sports celebrity endorsements, product packaging, store design, product placement on tv and movies, sponsorships, in-store graphics, hang-tags, the music in its videos, the design of the website, print ads, product photography, technology, and on and on and on…

So, why do you think Nike has chosen such a simple logo and put all the efforts on the branding? This is because customers will never experience your company through the logo but they will know your brand by your products, packaging, commercials etc. Hence, it is very important to understand that logo is just a small part of all your designing efforts.

Understand how the combination of your logo and branding can help in creating a good impression on your potential customers. .This is how it works.

When a potential customers sees your logo they will definitely look for something familiar to them.

If they remember the logo for example swoosh of Nike, they will recall all the past experience they had with that brand like commercials, product quality, packaging, seeing others wearing the clothes of the same brand, the way the product is endorsed by the celebrity, the feedback you get from your friends, etc.

With all those collective memories you calculate that you know this company (brand) and what experience you had with the products in the past.

Hence, you decide to buy a pair of shoes from Nike.

So, Logo is a very important visual clue to the brain to recall the brand experience but brand and logo both are hand in hand. The logo must have the clarity, definition, uniqueness and articulation of the larger brand behind it. Hence, you can say the logo is the tip of the brand iceberg.

At Eyecatchers, we partner you in creating a brand identity for your business from Brand-name Research to Trademarking, from effective and elegant Brand Design Solutions to creating a Brand Personality, for companies of all sizes, from start-ups to start-overs. We also understand the practicality of your logo appearing on screens, business cards, letterheads, pull up banners, vehicles, websites, mobile apps, hoardings, shop signage, product packaging, newspaper adverts just to name a few, on different surfaces, in different sizes, in different conditions! And we design it so!

[redwineconversation]

Amel Majri FFF Article (December 26, 2022)

I usually hate giving clicks to FFF while Diacre is still employed, but I also have about 6 videos to translate/transcribe and since I am at my mom's house / don't have cleaning and laundry to do as an excuse for avoiding those translations, I have to resort to other excuses instead.

Blah blah standards disclaimers apply, @OL Comms pls pls buy me Starbucks I will do anything, y'all know the speech by now.

AMEL MAJRI: "BEING A MOTHER, IT CHANGES YOUR LIFE"

After suffering a serious injury in October 2021, the French international player at Olympique Lyonnais, who gave birth to little Maryam last summer, returned to the Lyon group in mid-December. She looks back on her last months, magnificent and emotional at the same time.

A meeting was set at Olympique Lyonnais training center for a 20 minute interview which lasted twice that, filled with anecdotes and smiles. Amel Majri, who will celebrate her 30th birthday on January 25, showed up alone but Maryam was not far away. On the ground floor of the building, the left back or left winger had found someone amongst her teammates to babysit. The one whose nickname is the OL baby saw the light of day on July 5, 2022 in a period where Amel Majri became the first international French player to give birth while still playing professionally. Surrounded by her loved ones, supported by her club which extended her contract until 2026 shortly after she had given birth, the international French player acknowledges having taken advantage of her time away due to her torn ACL and meniscus on the left knee to start having a baby with her husband. Having rapidly become pregnant, she experienced a whirlwind of emotions and then a race against time to return to the field. For FFF.FR, she rewinds the film and walks us through her new life.

HER NEW LIFE: "Life is very, very good"

"With the year coming to an end, we went in search of happiness near you. Life is good, Amel?"

It [life] is very, very good for me. Being a mother, it changes your life. It asks for a lot of sacrifices but it's a nice change.

The nights aren't too difficult?

At first, it was hard, I really suffered as soon as I gave birth because I had a 30-hour labor which ended with a cesarian. After, I breastfed. To give your breast [to your baby', not sleep, wake up 5 to 6 times a night, every hour or every two hours, it was hard. Since mid-September, she only wakes up once! For a normal person, six hours of sleep, that might not seem like a lot but for me, it's like having 10 hours of sleep! Au début, c’était dur, j’ai galéré dès ma sortie d’accouchement car j’ai eu 30 heures de travail achevées par une césarienne. Ensuite, j’ai allaité. Donner le sein, ne pas dormir, se lever 5 à 6 fois par nuit, toutes les heures ou les deux heures, c’était difficile. Depuis mi-septembre, elle ne se réveille plus qu’une fois ! Pour une personne lambda, 6 heures de sommeil, ça peut ne pas paraître énorme mais pour moi, actuellement, c’est comme une nuit de 10 heures ! 

Does it test your patience?

Honestly sometimes, you snap. You're not used to it, it's new, and you're maybe not conditioned to live like that. We should be more supported. Yeah, sometimes, I did snap and it was really hard. What got me through it, it's the love you have for your child. You know why she is waking up: she's hungry, she was to be close to you and feel you.

You have birth to little Maryam on July 5, 2022. What sort of baby is she?

She is full of pep, she moves around a lot and gets bigger every day. She likes being in her mother's arms, she got into that habit (she laughs). She is calm and only cries when she is hungry.

Who does she look like?

The first time we saw her, we didn't really know who she looked like the most. There are days when she looks more like her father ad others where she looks more like me. Sometimes, my husband and I like to tease each other: "she doesn't look like you". She takes after both of us and I see myself [in her], after with her hair! (She shows us a picture of the screensaver on her phone and starts laughing).

Would you say it is easy to juggle life as a mother, a woman, and an athlete?

I'm not going to lie to you. If I had to do it again, I don't think I would do it. I'm torn. On the one hand, we have to advance in France and in order to do that, there has to be pioneers because it would be discriminatory to make it difficult for us to have children. On the other hand, there is the reality and the expectations in the world of professional sports. Today, I can breastfeed, but will I be able to do it as much as I want? Are they going to tell me to introduce bottle feeding and mix the two, that it is good as well? If I do that, it's a little as if I am putting my baby in parentheses because of my work. For me, it's hard to do both. There is also something else that we can't control and that's the motor of an athlete: sleep, and with that, recovery. When you don't have any children, preparation and "invisible training", it's just you and your conscience. But here, imagining I am doing everything perfectly, if my daughter wakes up five times a night for two years, I am not going to sleep. if I'm not sleeping, I am not going to be able to play 90 minutes or make it through a 2-hour training. If I had to choose today, I would wait.

What is your schedule?

I pump the milk and I try to organize it with my husband to look after the baby. He is a physical trainer and sometimes we have our training sessions at the same time. The club authorized me to come with my nanny. Up to the age of one year, she can even come with us when we travel. In terms of scheduling, I come to the club with the little one once or twice to the club, when my husband has finished, he comes to pick her up.

Are you able to protect your baby from the media?

Yeah, I don't want her exposed on social media. Even when we get to the stadium, I'm careful that she isn't filmed as to protect her. In the locker room as well, I said to my teammates not to post any InstaStories or anything like that. They respect that. It's my choice. Take the example of "Björki" (Sara Björk Gunnarsdottir, teammate at Lyon between 2020 and 2022 and also a mother), she's the opposite, she puts her child on social media.

Maryam, is she the club's child?

Everyone is happy. When you see a baby, you forget about your worries for a bit. When the players come back from training, they want to take care of her, to hold her, see how much she has grown. Wendie (Renard) and Amandine (Henry) looked after her recently when I was doing my individual sessions. That allowed me to breathe and focus on my recovery.

HER PREGNANCY AND THE DESIRE TO GO ON MATERNITY: "Maryam is the good thing which came from my injury!"

When did this desire to go on maternity start?

It's linked to my injury. I talked with the surgeon who told me that being back for the Euros (2021) would be too tight. I also asked if being pregnant during my recovery would be too risky, he answered that it would. We weighed the pros and cons with my husband and said why not? It happened quickly. (laughter) The good thing which came from my injury, it's Maryam!

You met your partner in 2011 before having a [religious] marriage in 2012 and then a civil marriage in 2018. More than 10 years without having kids, that can seem like a long time..

In normal life, that's true. Even if there are no rules, often it happens after two or three years in a relationship. It's specific to each couple. We know what it takes to be an elite athlete: you can't just take a step back and your career in parentheses. It's not possible when you're younger either: at 22 or 23, you have to prove yourself, gain experience... My husband is patient, he knew what he was getting into! (she smiles)

How did your pregnancy go?

I can't complain because I didn't really have any problems unlike "Björki" for example but at the end, it was long. The delivery, it was the worse moment of my life. When I had the contractions I said to myself, "Come on Amel, you tore your ACL, you climbed mountains..." But it was really hard to do it with the lack of sleep. I went 30 hours without sleep. I had a birth plan which couldn't be followed. I fell apart completely, I couldn't stop crying. Two or three days after having given birth, I went through a sort of baby blues because I wasn't sleeping and I had to breastfeed. It's a small dip and then you go ahead. Talking about this is essential. Okay, your baby was born, she is there and healthy, all is good, life is rosy but there is the flip side: it's not evident or easy. Thankfully, I was supported by my family, friends, and midwives. They were really top and are indispensable.

Were you able to continue playing sports?

The night before I went into labor, I was playing a tennis match! The previous night, I had lost and I wanted revenge. It's probably that which started the labor. At the club, I was doing two training sessions a week, with no contact obviously. The more I advanced in the pregnancy, the more the intensity went down but I kept up a rhythm. I needed an activity because I was getting bored and they told me nothing would happen [to my child].

Beyond your husband, you could also count on the support of your sister, Rachida..

She was a huge support, she took care a lot of Maryam. When you give birth, you get a lot of visits at the hospital. Often, it's in the afternoon, you're awake and the baby is sleeping at that time. So I couldn't just recuperate. My sister came, stayed with me and took care [of Maryam] while I caught up on sleep. She was a massive help. Poor her, I sometimes yelled at her...

HER BODY AND HER INJURY: "I want to come back as a footballer"

How have you found your body?

(She searches for the right words) It's as if I had to turn the power on and off and the machine started back up. I remember when I had to do to heel to bum again, I felt as if I was doing it for the first time. Indeed, I was discovering my body again. No longer running with a big stomach, feeling sensations in the scar of the cesarian.. Sometimes it stretches, it's weird. In terms of progression, I felt as though I was progressing during the sessions with the physical therapist or physical trainer. I was gaining muscle again, I was gaining confidence. And I found my rhythm again thanks to the numerous sessions which increased progressively.

Your last game dates back to literally October 1, 2021 against Bordeaux in the D1 Arkema...

It's true! I remember it as if it was yesterday, I was having a good game with a goal thanks to a combination with Catarina (Macario) and an assist (she smiles)! I get injured in the 60th minute. It wasn't a contact but a light shoulder knock with Vanessa (Gilles). She touches me slight, it puts me off-balance and I fall down. I leave the field, I breakdown because I'm so frustrated. At first, I was on the ground in shock, I heard a crack but I tried to convince myself it wasn't serious. I did three heel-to-bum exercises, I felt that my leg couldn't hold and I understood that it was serious. I told myself, "come on, Amel, it's not in your head, sit down." More than a year, it's long, I can't take it anymore! I'm so eager ... There was the injury, the pregnancy, the labor ... I want to leave it all behind me and become a footballer again but with Maryam (she smiles). There is some positive which came from the injury.

[comrade-meow]

Why a hand gesture has South Korean companies on edge 👌

It took three years for players to notice the "offensive" hand gesture lurking in one of South Korea's most popular multiplayer games.

When players made their avatars laugh, talk or give the "OK" sign in "Lost Ark," they clicked an icon featuring a gesture that might have appeared benign to many: an index finger nearly touching a thumb.

But some of "Lost Ark's" users began claiming in August that the gesture was a sexist insult against men, and they demanded its removal.

What happened next underscores a trend in South Korea among anti-feminists, who have been increasingly pushing companies to repent for what they see as a conspiracy within the government and private companies to promote a feminist agenda.

Smilegate — the creator of "Lost Ark" and one of South Korea's biggest video game developers — quickly complied with the requests for removal. The company removed the icon from the game, and vowed to be more vigilant about policing "game-unrelated controversies" in their products.

A gender war has been unfolding in South Korea for years, pitting feminists against angry young men who feel they're being left behind as the country seeks to address gender inequality. 

Now, though, the latest development in this war is reaching a fever pitch. Since May, more than 20 brands and government organizations have removed what some see as feminist symbols from their products, after mounting pressure. At least 12 of those brands or organizations have issued an apology to placate male customers.

Anti-feminism has a years-long history in South Korea, and research suggests that such sentiments are taking hold among the country's young men. In May, the Korean marketing and research firm Hankook Research said it found that more than 77% of men in their twenties and more than 73% of men in their 30s were "repulsed by feminists or feminism," according to a survey. (The firm surveyed 3,000 adults, half of whom were men.)

The fact that corporations are responding to pressure to modify their products suggests that these anti-feminists are gaining influence in a country that is already struggling with gender issues. The Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development says that South Korea has by far the largest gender wage gap among OECD countries. And roughly 5% of board members at publicly listed companies in the country are women compared to the OECD average of nearly 27%.

A suspicious sausage

The online firestorm that has spread across South Korea's corporate landscape kicked off in May with a simple camping advertisement.

GS25, one of the country's biggest convenience store chains, released an ad that month enticing customers to order camping food on their app, promising free items as a reward. The ad showed an index finger and a thumb appearing to pinch a sausage. The finger-pinching motif is frequently used in advertising as a way to hold an item without obscuring the product.

Critics, though, saw something different in that hand signal. They accused it of being a code for feminist sympathies, tracing the use of the finger-pinching motif to 2015, when the symbol was co-opted by Megalia, a now-defunct feminist online community, to ridicule the size of Korean men's genitals.

Megalia has since shut down, but its logo has outlived the group. Now anti-feminists are trying to purge South Korea of its existence.

Source: Megalia, @starbucksrtd/Instagram, @gs25_official/Instagram

GS25 removed the hand symbol from the poster. But critics still weren't satisfied, and began trawling the advertisement for other feminist clues. One person pointed out that the last letter of each word featured on the poster — "Emotional Camping Must-have Item" — spelled "Megal," a shorthand for "Megalia," when read backward.

GS25 removed the text from the poster, but that still wasn't enough. People theorized that even the moon in the background of the poster was a feminist symbol, because a moon is used as the logo of a feminist scholar organization in South Korea.

After revising the poster multiple times, GS eventually pulled it entirely, just a day after the campaign launched. The company apologized and promised a better editorial process. It also said it reprimanded the staff responsible for the ad, and removed the marketing team leader.

The online mob had tasted success, and it wanted more.

Other companies and government organizations soon became targets. The online fashion retailer Musinsa was criticized for offering women-only discounts, as well as using the finger-pinching motif in an ad for a credit card. The company defended the use of that motif as a neutral element regularly used in advertising, and said its discount program was meant to help expand its small female customer base. Still, founder and CEO Cho Man-ho stepped down after the backlash.

South Korean demonstrators hold banners during a rally to mark International Women's Day as part of the country's #MeToo movement in Seoul on March 8, 2018. Dongsuh, the Korean company that licenses a Starbucks ready-to-drink line in the country, was attacked in July after one of its Korean Instagram accounts published an image of fingers pinching a can of coffee. The company pulled the ad and apologized, saying that it "considers these matters seriously." The firm also said the image had no hidden intent.

Even local governments have been caught up in the pressure campaign. The Pyeongtaek city government was criticized in August after uploading an image to its Instagram account that warned residents of a heatwave. It used an illustration of a farmer wiping his forehead — and critics noticed that the farmer's hand was shaped similarly to the finger pinch.

"How deeply did [feminists] infiltrate?" one person wrote on MLB Park, an internet forum used primarily by men. Another person shared contact information for the city government, encouraging people to flood their channels with complaints. The image was later removed from the Instagram account.

Gender wars

At the core of the anti-feminist campaign is a widespread fear among young men that they are falling behind their female peers, according to Professor Park Ju-yeon, professor of sociology at Yonsei University.

The sentiment has grown because of a hyper competitive job market and skyrocketing housing prices. The government has also rolled out programs in recent years to bring more women into the workforce. Proponents of those programs have said they're necessary for closing gender gaps, but some men have worried they give women an unfair advantage.

Another compounding factor: Unlike women, men in South Korea have to complete up to 21 months of military service before they're 28 years old — a sore point for some men who feel unfairly burdened.

Anti-feminists have also taken umbrage with President Moon Jae-in, who, when elected in 2017, promised to be a "feminist president." Moon pledged to fix the systemic and cultural barriers that prevented women from participating more in the workforce. He also vowed to address sexual crimes in the wake of the global #MeToo movement.

This year's corporate pressure campaign adds another complication, as brands weigh the possible fallout.

Young men are "big spenders," said Professor Choi Jae-seob, a marketing professor at Namseoul University in Seoul. He added that many young people today are driven by personal political values when they buy things.

Ha, a 23-year-old university student, said he pays attention to what companies say about gender issues before making a purchase.

"Between two stores, I would use the one that doesn't support [feminism]," said Ha, who declined to give his full name because he said that gender is a thorny topic among his peers.

Ha said he's far from alone. When his friends were discussing the GS25 camping poster, for example, he was surprised to find that many of them felt the way he did: "I realized that many men were silently seething."

"I realized that many men were silently seething."Ha, a 23-year-old university student

The gender war leaves companies in a tough spot, according to Noh Yeong-woo, a consultant at the public relations agency PR One.

By not responding to allegations that they are taking a stance on gender issues, that could lead to what Noh called a "constant barrage of accusation" and the creation of a stigma. It also means that companies are actively monitoring online groups and studying what their users have designated as hidden codes or associations, to avoid being called out.

"They are continuously checking for the next problematic symbols," Noh said of brands in South Korea.

Stigmas and fighting back

Some women, though, say that the corporate apologies are also creating a climate where some people are afraid to identify as feminist.

"It's the new Red Scare. Like McCarthyism," said Yonsei University's Park, referring to the mass hysteria to root out communists in the United States in the 1950s.

Lee Ye-rin, a college student, said she has been a feminist since middle school. But in recent years she has found it impossible to be open about her stance.

"It's the new Red Scare. Like McCarthyism."Professor Park Ju-yeon, professor of sociology at Yonsei University

She recalled an incident in high school, when some boys openly heckled a feminist friend of hers while that friend was giving a class presentation on the depiction of women in the media. Lee and her classmates were too scared to defend the friend.

"We all knew that a person who would step up and say that feminism is not some weird thing would be stigmatized, too," Lee said.

In response to this year's anti-feminist pressure campaigns, though, some feminists have been fighting back. The apology over the camping poster from GS25, for example, prompted feminists to call for boycotts against the company. Some people shared images online of themselves shopping at rival stores, using hashtags that called on people to avoid shopping at GS25.

Balancing act

As there doesn't seem to be much hope of finding middle ground for those waging South Korea's gender war, experts say companies have to figure out ways to avoid being dragged into a brand-damaging fight.

Noh, from PR One, encouraged companies and organizations to educate their employees on gender sensitivity — and even reconsider the use of symbols that have become heavily politicized.

Finger-pinching motifs "are images with complex metaphors and symbols and they already carry a social stigma," he said. "So, once you get involved in it, it's hard to explain them away ... the issue keeps spreading until they are removed as demanded."

Park, the Yonsei University professor, said that part of the problem is that many South Korean companies are led by older men who don't have a firm grasp of present-day gender issues. The average age of an executive-level employee at the country's top 30 publicly traded companies is 53, according to a 2020 analysis by JobKorea, a Korean version of LinkedIn.

That suggests a level of irony. Maybe it's not that some of these companies have a specific agenda, as online critics are accusing them. Perhaps for some of them, high levels of leadership are just not in tune with the debate.

To Park, the vitriol directed at companies has also buried some of the underlying, systemic issues that contribute to gender inequality, along with debates about how best to crack the glass ceiling or address the division of labor at home, among other concerns.

"Some very important debates are being buried," Park said, adding that today's gender war is being fought on the tip of the "iceberg." "It's not a fight about the fingers."

[allthemoregray]

6, 11, 17, 23, 26, 30, 35, 37, 38

6. My darkest fear is that I’ve reached my peak in terms of improvement and will never be able to better the way I write now. Not that I am not alright with my writing style now, but I fear that I am not capable of becoming as good as I want to be.

11. I do believe in “kill your darlings.” When I first started out writing I had a nasty habit of adding extraneous details and characters to my stories -- I still do, but not as much. For the most part, I don’t typically grieve the darlings I murder because I get aggravated by their existence and just want them to go away. In that respect, I am pretty ruthless. I guess I would only grieve if I truly believed in what I had been writing, and I usually didn’t do that in the cases where I killed my darlings.

17. I’m gonna go with L’Appel du Vide for this one and talk about Adriano’s parents, because details about them will be pretty limited in the actual story. Domizio was the eldest son of a washed-out mafioso back in Sicily who was tired of his father’s laziness and the failing state of their business, so the moment he turned eighteen, he basically took over and started from the ground-up to rebuild into an actual organization, while his father took a back seat. However, about three years in, with everything going smoothly, Domizio’s father arranged for his son to marry a young, northern Italian girl whose parents were desperate for the money & status attached to the family. Pressure from his family & friends led to Domizio going through with it, but at twenty-one, he had no interest in actually paying any attention to his fourteen year-old bride. He stuck her in the household of one of his aunts and for the next three years, Madiana was ignored and left behind as he continued to further his ambitions. By the time she was seventeen, she realized that she would be forever stuck alone & abandoned unless she actually caught her husband’s attention, so during one of his rare visits to check on her and make sure she was well (the bare minimum), she successfully seduced him and after a week, became pregnant. With the birth of his first child approaching, Domizio decided that the time had come to expand further and moved with his pregnant wife to New York, where eventually, Adriano was born. His relatives are all still back in Sicily, living off the money he sends home. Madiana’s family does not ask about her or the children.

If I talked about all the lore I wanted to discuss we would be here for hours, but I’ll share this for now.

23. I write at my desk, on my phone. I sit in my red backed chair that squeaks every time I rock back-and-forth in it, with my MacBook in front of me, playing some YouTube video or TV show or movie, because I cannot stand working on only one thing at a time. The rest of my desk is covered with bits and pieces from my Harry Potter Gringotts metal model set, a reusable Starbucks cup I have never used, a fake succulent, and a Star Wars music box.

26. A lot of my characters are largely made up of qualities I want but feel I don’t have; cleverness, inner strength, overwhelming compassion, etc. In addition, they are all locked in some form of struggle, whether with another person or a situation. When I write, I try to imagine how a specific quality could influence their reaction to something, as opposed to how I might react. For example, if my mother yelled at me, I would clam up and get overwhelmed. But if I’m writing Darla, I think about years of suppressed anger, or protectiveness for younger siblings, and I know she could fly off the handle. I don’t typically have a hard time getting out of my characters’ heads, but sometimes the emotions stick with me and I use them to further daydream about the story, even if I am not writing at the moment.

I don’t regret getting into the heads of my main characters, because they are mainly good people. I even enjoy writing Giovanni and Michele and other such characters, because they still have some parts to them I like. But my main villains, such as Adriano, Eli, and Ethan, scare me. They all treat people like things and use their charms against others, always with harmful motives. It’s not easy getting into their heads. I always rush to get out. It’s why I never write from their perspectives - it’s hard to get across how removed they are from everyone else.

30. Soo this answer is severely underwhelming; I never remember my dreams. I don’t think I have had a dream that I’ve remembered in months, and usually, the memory fades within several minutes of waking up, if I remember at all. The snippets of feelings I can recall tell me they’re usually pretty bizarre anyway, so I doubt any of them seep into my writing.

35. Editing and proofreading. Fuck editing & proofreading. Once I have written it, it is perfect, and if I try to reread and find any mistakes to fix, I won’t find any because there are none (at least in my opinion). I do not believe in first drafts; it’s either a good sentence or I’m deleting it and starting over. This is why it takes me forever to update. Is this a good thing? Perhaps not. But I refuse to go back and edit. My pride won’t take it.

37. Future historians would be highly concerned and make wild theories about the state of my home life and mental state. They would also probably think of me as a sadist, considering what I put my characters through. Unless they read my old YOTD fanfics, in which case they will just think I am pathetic.

But also, they would probably just think I was a very horny person. I will neither confirm nor deny this.

38. Probably the fact that I can only write with another form of media in front of me. I can never sit down and be like ‘Okay I have a few extra hours let me try and write this chapter,’ I have to be watching something and then I will pull out my phone and type away. It kinda makes me feel dumb, but I feel lazy when I watch something without writing and my brain feels empty when I try to write with nothing else going on. I also worry if this is a sustainable way of writing and if I might struggle with this in the future. I might just be overthinking the weirdness of this one, though.

I guess another possible thing is my tendency to take popular premises and imagine what the worst possible outcome would be. For example; Perfect popular guy is attracted to shy, unpopular girl!! But it turns out he’s a horrible person with a perfectionist complex and only sees her as a way to complete his ‘ideal family’ obsession. Or something.

[justafairytailofinnocence]

I’m like bombarding you with requests but could I by chance get a Peaky blinders and marauders era matchup? Could I have an added one shot maybe?

My pronouns are she/her

I’d like to be shipped with a male

I’m like the biggest loner. i love spending time alone in my own world doing my own thing. I spend way too much time daydreaming. I literally can go from astrophysics to aliens or dark matter to magic in 20 seconds. Reality, we don’t know her.

I can be quite touchy feely and emotional but do everything to hide it. I struggle with my feelings a lot.

i either overthink or don’t think at all there is no in between. one minute I have a set out plan and the next I’m jumping into things randomly. It’s like I’m either super anxious or am pretending my problems dont exist.

my hobbies include creative coding, digital illustrating, weight lifting, watching movies/shows, playing video games, reading fanfic in the dead of night (you know the 4 am fics hit different).

im obsessed with Starbucks vanilla lattes (Ik so basic) and that’s probably the only reason I actually go outside

My style is pretty much the fandom sections at hot topic from 2012 (the chokers, plaid skirts, combat boots and fandom shirts. Bonus if u add knee socks or fishnets💀)

i absolutely hate the cold, small talk, crowds, and social gatherings. I’m super awkward not in the cute uwu way but In the 😐 way.

if it helps in anyways I’m a Slytherin, intp personality type, and true neutral alignment.

Thanks ❤️

Hi dear💖, For the peaky blinders I ship you with:

Arthur Shelby🥃

- He doesn’t get along with most people but for you he gets soft.

- He would relate to you; you might have to calm him from time to time.

- He would gloat about you saying you’re the best thing to happen in his life.

- He would totally beat down any man for you.

- I can see the two of you getting along.

- John might tease you.

- You’re more likely to tell Arthur he’s getting a bit much.

- He does have a drinking problem, so you’ll have to keep an eye on him.

- You would get married by the farm side; you had a family in a cottage together. He has your hair and your eyes.

Oneshot:

Arthur came home one night, he smelt of whiskey and cigars. “Oi y/n ya here dove” he spoke with a heavy accent. Arthur’s wife came up from behind the corner “yeah”, he pulled you in with his lanky arm. “I’ve fookin missed ya y/n” he started to kiss the back of your neck and trailed further to your lips. The man was certainly taller than y/n, sometimes he would sleep with her in the cold mornings. Arthur eventually went off into the kitchen to get some whiskey “ya know tom’s been lookin out for us, I’m gonna make this bloody family proud”.

Y/n listened to her husbands rambling and couldn’t help but tune out often because she had no idea what he was slurring. “Hm that’s great” she replied with a grin.

Everything was peaceful in the household of a gang member and y/n his wife.

For harry potter I ship you with:

Remus lupin🐺

- He would be the type to be a book worm and often stay out of trouble unlike his friends.

- He’s probably one of the top ratings of nicest characters so he would totally become loyal to you.

- You would just need to keep an eye on his werewolf form, he wouldn’t bother you with that.

- There would be times where he doubts himself, but you would show what family truly is.

- You would go on dates in the library or the forbidden forest.

- You would be a part of the order.

- After Hogwarts he proposed to you and you lived in a cottage, your child is human with your hair and his eyes.

Oneshot:

Y/n was rather certain he would be back, it was full moon. It might seem strange but yes, her husband is a werewolf and half the time once a month he had to be away. Y/n knew it was a condition called lycanthropy, however she still couldn’t help but worry. She often hoped he would be home safe. Her child was sleeping while she sat by the fire.

The doorknob slowly swung; y/n could see her husband has returned from his outing. Y/n runs up and hugs him “I’m glad your home” she swore not to leave him. The two loved each other so much that no matter where they were it was blossoming.

“I’ll always be safe y/n, always” he muttered beneath her neck.

Anyways that's all I have for now:

Ta Ta✨

[ao3feed-crimeboys]

Just a sip! (Does it still matter which one?)

by Pancake_Panda131

Dream leaned forward, his pericing green eyes locking onto Tommy’s blue ones. “Get a job,” he hissed, “or you’re gone.”

Or

Wilbur techno and Phil run a small family owned coffee shop. They need some more help. Tommy needs a job. Sbi ensues

Or

Author worked at Starbucks and figured they’d do their part and write a coffee shop au

Words: 4004, Chapters: 1/12, Language: English

Fandoms: Dream SMP, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF

Rating: Not Rated

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Characters: Wilbur Soot, TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Phil Watson | Philza, Niki | Nihachu, Jack Manifold, Toby Smith | Tubbo, Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Sam | Awesamdude, Ponk | DropsByPonk (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Alexis | Quackity, Charlie Dalgleish | Slimecicle, Cara | CaptainPuffy

Relationships: Wilbur Soot & Technoblade, Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit, Technoblade & TommyInnit, Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, Sally the Salmon (Dream SMP)/Wilbur Soot, Ponk | DropsByPonk/Sam | Awesamdude

Additional Tags: Villain Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), sorry - Freeform, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Coffee Shops, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, CHARACTERS NOT THE STREAMERS, Good Sibling Wilbur Soot, Good Sibling Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Good Older Sibling Wilbur Soot, Good Older Sibling Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Good Parent Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Bad Parent Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot and Technoblade are Siblings, Sleepy Bois Inc as Family, Sleepy Bois Inc-centric, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Violence, Sleepy Bois Inc as Found Family, Angst with a Happy Ending, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, I'm Bad At Tagging, no beta we Die like all of my favorite characters in this god forsaken rp, author worked at Starbucks, and hated it, all experiences are based on that, good old coffee shop AU, Tommy is my fav and it shows, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Maybe - Freeform, who knows - Freeform, Title from coffee by Jack stauber, no real significance just wanted it coffee related, love me titles w the second part in parentheses and it shows, Only like one of the italics worked I’m not used to HTML sorry

source https://archiveofourown.org/works/40932435

[jtsfavslut]

The Less I Know the Better

Description: In which Grayson sees the love of his life move on, at least that’s what he thought. Based on the overplayed song by wanna be indie TikTok girls ‘The Less I Know The Better’ by Tame Impala.

Warnings: None really

Word Count: 2k+

Suggested Song: The Less I Know the Better - Tame Impala

It hurt.

All Grayson was feeling was pain and guilt.

Pain because he loved her and had to see her walking around and be happy with another man that wasn’t him. And guilt. Well, he felt guilty because it’s his fault she’s no longer his. If only he could’ve kept his dick in his pants, he would be the one with her now, even if it wasn’t completely his fault.

Too deep in his thoughts he didn’t realize that she was walking over to him and that he was staring like a lost puppy.

“Hi Grayson,” her dreamy and angelic voice spoke, making Grayson regret coming to the mall.

“Hey Y/N,” he replied. His deep voice making her remember all the good times they spent together. All the time he made her feel good, and not just about herself. All the time he would vent to her and she would sit and listen.

“How are you doing? How’s Ethan doing?” She asked him, trying not to be as awkward as she could. She doesn’t know why she walked over to him, she doesn’t know why she needed to talk to him but here she was; Talking to her ex trying to pretend as if nothing happened.

“I’m good, and he’s alight, how bout’ you tho? You seem happy,” he asked and regretted it instantly as he watched her face drop the smile that was being displayed.

“Happy? No. Calm? You could say that,” she said with a chuckle at the end. He wanted to ask her what she meant. Ask her if she needed someone to talk to, but he didn’t want to push it.

“I don’t know what you mean but sure,” he replied causing her to let out a little giggle.

“You know what I mean Grayson,” she said, shaking her head. “I just don’t know how to tell him.” She said, the sad tone in her voice causing Grayson to frown.

“Oh god, I can’t talk to you about this, that's weird,” she slightly shouted, realizing what she was talking about and to whom she was talking to.

“It’s fine Y/N, you know I’ll always be there for you,” he replied in which she responded with a smile.

“Me too Gray, actually I got a new phone and number and my ICloud got locked out so you know I don’t have any contacts so slide me your number if you want.” She said with a smile making his heart perform a gymnastics freestyle performance.

“Yeah here,” he said, handing her his phone. She was about to grab it when a loud and angry voice spoke from beside them.

“Y/N what the fuck are you doing?” Her un-official boyfriend's loud voice spoke, making her face display pure fear.

“Nothing Geo, I’m just talking to an old friend,” she nervously spoke, knowing that if he knew she was talking to her ex-boyfriend it would not end pretty.

“I told you to stay over there, not to go hoeing around,” he shouted at her, not realizing that Graysons fists were clenched in anger. He was not only upset that he was talking to her in such ways, but upset because the fear in her eyes was pretty evident.

“Don’t speak to her like that,” Grayson said in a deep voice, grabbing her and placing her being her.

“And who are you?” Geo asked in a sarcastic tone.

“A guy who knows how to speak to a girl, which clearly is not a thing in your life,” he responded with a careless shrugged. He wasn't intimated one bit, he already knew the type of guy he was, an all talk, no action douche.

“Yeah right, Y/N let’s go,” he replied rolling his eyes.

“No. I’m not going anywhere with your ass, were not even officially dating,” she replied, walking in front of Grayson to show she wasn’t scared of him.

“Y/N, lets go. Don't make me move you the hard way,” he said and grabbed his arm, digging his finger into it, before a hard punch from Grayson made contact with his fist making him let go of her arm and stumble back.

“Again, don’t talk to her that way,” he said grabbing her arm and pulling her out of the store ignoring the looks the people were giving them.

“Are you ok?” She asked looking up at him with glossy eyes, the same look she gave him when he told her what he had done.

“Are you ok? He said putting emphasis on you. He knew she was the type to worry about others before herself, one of the things he loved about her the most.

“I’m ok, it’s probably just gonna bruise up,” she shrugged and wiped the few tears that streamed down her face with a deep breath. “Do you want to go eat something and talk? I know we have a lot to talk about,” she asked him and he nodded his head.

They ended up choosing a small little restaurant that was across the mall.

“I need to ask you something.” She said as the waiter left after leaving their drinks at the table.

“What is it?” He said putting his phone in his pocket since he wanted to give her his full and undivided attention.

“About what happened with that situation, I know that there’s something I’m not aware of. It doesn’t add up to me, because I know you’re not that type of guy,” she quietly said, Grayson knew she was going ask that at some point but it still made him feel worse.

“You might not believe me but someone slipped something in my water, you know I don’t drink, and I purposely wouldn’t get drunk, all I remember is taking multiple sips from my cup and waking up on the floor.” He replied while playing with his fingers, a thing that he did when he was nervous, the only one that knew he did that was her.

“I know you don’t drink which was why I was confused. I was too caught up in my emotions to even let you explain and now I feel horrible.” She pouted making him shake his head.

“Don’t feel horrible. I betrayed your trust even if it wasn’t purposely. And I would probably have reacted the same way,” he reassured her and grabbed her hand in attempts to make her feel better.

“I still feel bad. You were literally sexually assaulted and I was too petty to even realize it,” she said and intertwined her fingers with his, both of their hearts jumping up and down with excitement and the feeling of each other.

“Hey don’t worry about it, I’m ok. And again how were you supposed to know, you were feeling hurt and angry,” he said, she was so glad he was so understanding.

“Ok now that we’ve cleared the air, I heard E has a little boo thang,” she said causing him to chuckle.

“Yeah she’s pretty nice, you know her too,” he said causing her eyes to widen.

[Okay listen, I’m not gonna name any names because I don’t want to speculate things even tho it’s pretty obvious as to who took Mr.Grants heart from y’all and I’ve been shipping it ever since that video cuz fuck Ethma literally eww 🤮 but yeah]

“Ooooo, we’ll talk about that later,” she replied, taking a sip of her drink. “I dropped out of college,” she added as Grayson and her confused look.

“Why?” He asked.

“I don’t know, it just wasn’t for me. At least not that major. Well I didn’t drop out completely I’m just taking a long break. And between you and me, with this Instagram and TikTok money, I don’t even need to finish,” she replied causing him to laugh.

“That’s true tho, you don’t even need to get a ‘regular’ job” he replied putting air quotes on the regular.

POV CHANGE

“Yeah, I might drop out completely. I don’t even want to be a surgeon anymore” you shrugged.

“Honestly do what makes you happy, because I remember you got really stressed out while studying and that’s not good for you,” he replied.

“And you get stressed out while coming up with video ideas, but yeah” you said, causing him to shake his head.

“Gray, I’m so sorry but I need to go. I have a doctors appointment in an hour and I would cancel it if I could but that would make it my third time rescheduling it.” You said with a pout once you checked the time on your phone.

You didn’t want to stop talking to him at all. You missed him, his voice, his face, you missed everything about him. You hadn't seen him in 3 months and the last time you saw him wasn’t rainbows and sunshine. But if you cancelled your appointment you would have to get a new doctor and you weren’t in the mood for that, plus you’ve been feeling a bit sick for the last few weeks.

“Hey it’s ok, we can talk again later,” he shrugged with a smile making you feel less guilty.

“Ok, just text me later and we can link yeah?” You replied, getting up and leaving a five dollar bill on the table.

“I will,” he said, getting up too.

“Good, don’t leave me waiting,” you said and placed a quick kiss on his cheek and left the restaurant with a smile on your face and made your way to your car.

You went home first taking a quick shower because you didn’t want to go to the doctor’s office feeling dirty, got dressed and left, stopping at Starbucks to get a drink and drove all the way to the office.

You were feeling anxious but you didn’t know why. You weren’t the type to get nervous when going to doctors or dentists so you were confused as to why.

When they called your name you got up from your seat in the waiting room and made your way to the door where the lady who called your name was at.

“Ok Y/N, I’m going to ask you a few personal questions are you ok with that?” Your doctor asked once you got settled inside the room.

“No, I’m fine,” you nodded your head and she sent you a smile.

“Good. So you said you were feeling a bit weird these past few weeks?” She asked and you nodded your head.

“Yeah, I haven’t had my period in the last few months, but it’s always been irregular, but I’ve been feeling weird and lightheaded in the mornings.” You explained as she nodded her head and wrote things down on a piece of paper.

“Any Nausea?” She asked and you shook your head.

“When was the last time you were sexually active to had unprotected sex?” She asked.

“About three months ago,” you replied. You didn’t lie, Grayson was your last. You met Geo about a month ago and never did anything with him, and didn’t plan too either.

You don’t even know why you decided to give him a try. He was controlling, sexist, and a douche. The complete opposite of Grayson. Grayson was more caring and compassionate. Always wondering whether you were ok and if you needed something.

He was your first everything. First boyfriend, as in first male friend, your first kiss, your first boyfriend, the person that took your virginity and the only person you fell in love with. He was your first for over 14 years so when he told you that he fucked another girl, you couldn’t help but be driven by your emotions and not let him explain, which you regretted. You were crushed, for two months you only left your apartment to get food or to go on drives so when you met Geo at a grocery store and he seemed charming you decided that maybe you had to move on, but look at how that turned out.

“I’m going to have you pee in this container, just to make sure, ok?” She said, causing your anxiety levels to rise.

You nodded you and head and grabbed the cup, walking over to the bathroom while she waited outside for you. After you were done, you washed your hands and exited the bathroom, handing her the cup with shaky hands.

“It’s ok, relax,” she said, noticing your nervous star and walking outside the room leaving you alone with your thoughts.

The seven minutes she took to come back seemed like seven hours, and when she came in with a smile on her face you didn’t know what to think. Your mind was completely empty.

“Congratulations Y/N, you’re pregnant!”

This sucks ass I’m sorry

Tags: @angelgrayson @rhyrhy462 @blindedbythelightt @dolansficsandpics @godlydolans @persistence-ofmemories @episkygrant @aquadolan @wavydolans @evergreendolan @vinylhazza @b-r-i-l @mercurygrant @plantbasedgray @dolansontheblock

[sunstonespells]

it's been a minute since i've been obnoxious about how wonderful my significant other is so while i'm here:

i got to see johnny this week for the first time in several weeks and it was so good!!

i drove 2 hours to baltimore for therapy so he drove an hour from where he lives to meet me and spend the day with me

i showed him my grandma's house (formerly my great-grandma's house) which includes a huge photo gallery of my family members, some of my art projects, things i'm going to inherit, old projects of my dad's, the swimming pool/swingset/gardens of my childhood

we did a little driving tour past the house i was mostly raised in (which was foreclosed on and remodeled), the house he lived in when he lived in baltimore, and our old high school where we first met

he went to five below with me, which is one of my favorite things and i do it after therapy to get squishmallows or pokemon cards or candy and he thought it was cute and helped me open my new pokemon cards

i took him to hampden for the first time, showed him some neighborhoods i lived and worked in, and we walked the avenue so i could show him businesses i like or that my friends run, places my pals still work, etc.

he got hungry so i showed him the best place to get pizza and took him to sit in the skate park to eat. he asked some guys if he could use their boards and i got to watch him skate around for a little while (which is something i really love, i grew up hanging out with skaters and filming for them and he hasn't gotten to skate much in the past few years but he's really good at it.)

we popped in to my cousin's crystal & candle shop and i got some herbs and oil and introduced him to my cousin, which makes that the first person in my family he's met (other than probably meeting my parents at my house once in high school? but i don't remember him coming over, he remembers it more than i do.)

i told my pal brian we would swing through mt. vernon so he could meet johnny and we stopped in to see him at my old job, where toooons of stuff that i wrote on the walls and things i added to the shop are still there more than two years after i stopped working there. ran into some more of my old coworkers outside at the cocktail bar around the corner and chatted with them for a while.

we went back to my grandma's house to pick up my car and spent some time there talking with her. it's a big deal to have a partner to introduce some of my family for the first time in 8-9 years (my grandma loved him; she was talking about him with my cousins yesterday and it's also her birthday today so i called her and she said sweet things about him)

johnny gave me one of his hoodies a few months ago (he gave me a TON of his old clothes and i love that) and he just bought the same one again so we can match

he stops at starbucks when he misses me and wants to think about me even though he doesn't really like coffee, he just likes the caramel and the whipped cream

when we video chat and his daughter sees/hears me she tries to fight him for the phone and says "i just want stella!" a lot and tries to make plans with me, and he says "me too!" and BOY does that make me emotional

i have a history of having people be extremely noncommittal with me and never wanting me to share anything about my relationship with them and to be secretive about things; i've had people hold my hand and then drop it in public when they saw someone they knew (more than once), and i have a lot of complexes about that. johnny tells me how proud he is to be mine and he likes hearing about when i talk about him with other people and he'll show off pictures of me when he spends time with his friends or his brother's friends or his family and tells me all the nice things people say about me.

the last "real" relationship i was in was 8+ years ago and other than my almost 2-year relationship towards the end of high school, my longest relationships were all about 3 months long or less and were never able to get serious or real in any meaningful way other than making me feel like i wanted or needed too much. (he spent that same 8 years that i was single in one longterm relationship that wasn't right.)

we've been together now for longer than my previous adult relationships, and without any actual conflicts, despite prolonged distance and suddenly lessened communication and major dramatic events in each others' personal situations, transitions to new homes and jobs and other big changes, and me dealing with a lot of trauma responses... we are still doing super well and super in love.

i can FEEL myself letting my guard down on things and feeling safe enough to not have to worry because he's incredibly honest and trustworthy and he takes his responsibilities and the impact of his choices on others and his future so seriously. i know that if something comes up, he'll handle it. he's just a genuinely good person. i could go on about this point for days.

[splendidlyimperfect]

Ooooo if you’re still doing the sentence starter thing can I request: “ i can’t believe that asshole said that to you .  it’s not true, you know.” And “you want me to punch him in the face ??” Please??? With Natsu comforting Gray???

this took a while, i can’t remember how long ago this was submitted, time is fake, i’m sorry <3 i hope you enjoy it! 

read my lips

rating: teen and up pairing: gray/natsu tags: modern au, established relationship, covid fic, coffee shops, hard of hearing character, sign language, ableism, audism, emotional hurt/comfort, me projecting on gray as usual

**tw for ablelism/audism (ableism targeted at Deaf/HoH folks) and an instance of the r-slur

-----

“I don’t care what Lucas says, Han shot first.”  

Natsu emphasized his point with his sewing needle, shooing away Happy when he tried to bat at the thread.

“I’m not disagreeing with you,” Sting insisted from the other end of the video call. “I’m just saying that he did kind of invent Star Wars.”  

Natsu rolled his eyes at his cousin as he nudged Happy away from the laptop. “Yeah, and he suggested Darth Icky as a Sith name to the game devs for ‘The Force Unleashed’, so it’s probably time for him to just, y’know, not be involved anymore.”  

Continue reading on AO3

Sting snorted, shaking his head as he tied off a knot on the back of his embroidery and flipped it over to study the design. He sighed, holding it up to the camera so Natsu could see the uneven stitches.  

“I don’t think I’m ever gonna get this,” Sting complained. “Yours looks so much better.”  

“I’ve also been doing it for years,” Natsu pointed out. He was about to say something else when the front door slammed open, bringing with it a red-faced Gray who looked like he was on the verge of tears. He kicked off his shoes, tossing his mask into the laundry basket at the door and throwing his bag on the floor.  

“Hey, love,” Natsu said, waving his hand to get Gray’s attention. Gray shook his head, refusing to look at Natsu and storming into the kitchen. Natsu frowned. Gray had been in a good mood when he’d left that morning, and he’d texted Natsu only an hour ago – on my way home, gonna pick up coffee, love you <3 

“Everything okay?” Sting asked.  

“No, I gotta go,” Natsu said, setting his embroidery down and giving Sting a concerned look. “I’ll text you later, ‘kay?”  

Sting nodded. “Hope everything’s okay. Love you.”  

“Love you, too.”  

Natsu nudged Happy off his lap, then headed to the kitchen, where Gray was aggressively washing his hands. Eventually he turned off the water but stayed where he was, head down and fingers gripping the edge of the sink.  

“Gray?”

He didn’t answer, so Natsu reached around the corner and flicked the lights a couple times. Gray sighed, grabbing the towel and finally turning around to face Natsu.  

What’s wrong? Natsu signed. Gray’s cheeks were still flushed, and he refused to meet Natsu’s gaze. 

I can’t fucking understand anyone, he signed eventually, looking like he was going to cry. Natsu frowned and Gray added, With masks on. I can’t read anyone’s lips and I feel so stupid.  

Natsu’s heart ached at the defeated look on Gray’s face. He stepped forward and reached out for Gray’s hand, which was balled into a tight fist. It took a few seconds, but eventually Gray sighed, letting Natsu slip their fingers together.  

“I just wanted a coffee,” he said out loud. His voice was tight and on the edge of tears. “The barista kept asking me something and I couldn’t hear her, there was too much background noise. It’s all just… sound. I didn’t understand. She had to write it down and people were staring, and I felt like an idiot, so I just left.” 

Natsu ran his fingers over Gray’s, bringing his hand to his lips and kissing it.  

“It’s so frustrating,” Gray said quietly. “Everyone thought I was stupid.”  

“I’m sure nobody thought—”  

“They did.” Gray’s jaw tensed. “The guy behind me thought I couldn’t hear at all, but he was so fucking loud. I heard him laughing, telling his friend I was…” Gray’s voice broke and he quickly rubbed at his face with the back of his hand.  

“C’mere, sweetheart,” Natsu said gently, pulling Gray close and wrapping both arms around his shoulders. Gray leaned into the embrace and pressed his forehead to Natsu’s shoulder.  

“He said I was retarded.”  

Natsu froze at the words that were muffled by his shirt. “What?” he tried to pull back to look at Gray again, but Gray wrapped his arms around Natsu’s waist and kept him close. He was trying his best to hold it in, but he was definitely crying now.

Natsu held Gray tighter, protective anger filling his chest as he ran his hand up and down Gray’s back. “I’m so sorry,” he said against Gray’s ear. “I can’t believe he said that to you, that’s horrible.”

Gray didn’t say anything. Natsu could see him biting his lip to keep back the tears and the soft sounds that came with them. He sighed, holding Gray as close as possible and pressing his cheek to the top of Gray’s head.

“I love you,” he murmured as he ran his fingers through Gray’s hair. They stood like that for a while, and eventually Gray’s shoulders stopped shaking. He sniffed and wiped his eyes with his sleeve.

“Hey,” Natsu said gently, pulling back and making sure Gray could see his lips. “You know what he said isn’t true, right?”

“I…” Gray swallowed and looked back down at the floor. “It’s just so frustrating. I get so embarrassed and I feel so stupid.”

Natsu shook his head, nudging Gray’s arm and switching to sign.

First of all, that guy is an idiot and a terrible human being, and if I ever see him, I’m gonna punch him in the face. Secondly, you’re not stupid. You’re one of the smartest people I know. You know four languages, you can build computers from scratch, and you can code faster than humanly possible. You know every single piece of lore from World of Warcraft – which is ridiculous, by the way, but adorable.

Gray’s lip quirked up in a tiny smile.

There’s nothing wrong with you, Natsu continued. No matter what. Doesn’t matter if you want to wear your hearing aids or not, if you want to talk or sign, or if you need extra time understanding people.

Gray sighed and ran his hands through his hair. “I know. It just sucks.” He exhaled loudly, then looked up at Natsu. “I’m sor—”

“Don’t you dare apologize.”

“But—”

“Look, I know we’re Canadian, but apologizing for someone else being an ass and calling you a slur isn’t allowed.”

Gray laughed and the sound relieved the anger and frustration in Natsu’s chest. He studied Gray’s face for a moment – the deep blue of his eyes, the tiny scar on his forehead, the barely noticeable dimple on his left cheek.

“What?” Gray frowned at him.

“You’re pretty,” Natsu said simply, leaning in and kissing Gray’s nose as a pink flush spread across his cheeks. “And I love you.” Before Gray could attempt to deflect the compliment, Natsu added, “Do you still wanna get a coffee?”

Gray’s expression shifted into something uncertain. “I can just make it here.” He gestured to their coffee machine, but Natsu shook his head.

“That’s not what I asked. Do you want to go out and get coffee?” Gray gave Natsu a suspicious look and he laughed. “I have an idea,” he said, gesturing to the door. “C’mon, let’s go for a drive.”

~

Natsu made Gray drive. He gave directions that lead away from the house, across the freeway, and into the neighboring suburb. The roads were unfamiliar but Natsu navigated them from his phone, clearly looking for something specific.

“Where are we going?” Gray asked again. He glanced over at Natsu, who just grinned at him and pointed out the window. A Starbucks sat in the middle of the shopping complex on the right side of the road.

“Do the drive through.”

“There’s tons of Starbucks back in New West,” Gray said, frowning as he flicked on the signal and pulled into the parking lot. “Why’d we come all the way out here?”

Natsu didn’t answer, just gestured to the menu screen as Gray pulled up to it. He looked at Natsu, ready for him to interpret whatever the barista said, but was surprised when the screen lit up instead. Someone with long, dark hair appeared on the screen, dressed in a green apron and giving them a warm smile.

Welcome to Starbucks, how are you doing today?

Gray’s eyes widened as he watched them sign, and it took him a moment to realize that they could see him.

Good, he replied quickly, hoping he didn’t look too confused. Um. You?

I’m great! What would you like to order?

Gray stared blankly at the menu for a second, then remembered he always got the same thing. Doubleshot on ice, please? he replied. Grande? Natsu poked him and he batted his hand away. And a Java Chip Frappuccino.

Awesome, see you at the window! The barista smiled and waved at him before the video switched off and the screen returned to normal.

Gray managed to hold in his tears until they had their drinks and were parked in the lot. He quickly wiped at his eyes with his sleeve, trying to hide his face from Natsu.

“That was Rogue,” Natsu said gently, reaching over and pulling Gray’s hands away from his face. “Sting’s new partner.”

Gray swallowed, trying to push down the lump that blocked his throat. “They can… they know sign.”

“Yeah.” Natsu brushed Gray’s hair out of his face and tucked it behind his ear. “Sting was telling me about them earlier – their little sister is Deaf so they’re pretty close to fluent in ASL.”

“Oh.” Gray stared down at Natsu’s hand in his, trying to figure out how to explain the complicated sensation in his chest. The frustration and embarrassment from earlier were gone, replaced with a deep sense of relief.

Natsu nudged Gray as he let go of his hand, and Gray looked over at him.

You’re not stupid, Natsu signed, balancing his drink on his lap. You’re smart and funny and gorgeous, and I love you so, so much.

Gray stared him – wild hair and bright eyes and the wide smile that Gray had fallen in love with so many years ago. “How do you do that?” Gray asked softly. Natsu raised an eyebrow. “You always know how to make things better.”

“Making you happy is my superpower,” Natsu said, grinning as he took a sip of his drink. “Now, y’know what you can do with lips besides read them?”

Gray raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“Kiss them.”

“You’re such a dork,” Gray said, shaking his head and laughing.

“You love me, though.”

“I do.”

Gray leaned over the console and pulled Natsu in for a long, slow kiss. Natsu’s hand brushed through his hair and he leaned into the touch – into the way that Natsu always felt like home.

“Mm.” Natsu hummed happily as he pulled back and pressed their foreheads together. “See, this is why I make you feel better – I get kisses when you’re happy.”

“So you’re not just being altruistic?”

“Not entirely. I may or may not have ulterior motives.”

“And do those ulterior motives happen to involve clothing?”

“That’s entirely up to you.”

Gray laughed and brushed his nose against Natsu’s, then pulled him in for another kiss. He tugged lightly on Natsu’s hair, biting gently on his lower lip and tasting chocolate on his tongue. Then he pulled back and smiled, setting his coffee in the cup holder and putting the car into drive.

“Let’s go home and find out.”

[villlainarc]

(I Could Put) A Little Stardust in Your Eyes

Summary: Stars are beautiful things. They glitter in the sky, blessing all those who wander the lands beneath them with soft, silvery light, and stars, being beautiful things, help others to find beautiful things of their own.

Humans, too, are beautiful things. That’s why the stars favor them especially, granting them another to spend their life with. These are soulmates; beautiful things drawn together to create yet another beautiful thing, a fate for each person written in the stars.

Pairings: romantic Losleep, queerplatonic Roceit, platonic Logince, platonic Sleepceit

Warnings: internalized arophobia for one (1) part of one (1) scene, let me know if i missed anything else

Word Count: 12,498

Taglist (ask to be added!): @max-is-tired @raaindropps @kiribakuandcats @main-chive @emo-disaster @wingedsoulmatedreamer

Notes: *shoves everything that happened in yesterday’s video aside except from the name reveal thank god for the find and replace feature* wdym roman and janus were mean to each other

for @sleepless-in-starbucks’s a meter of space contest (belated congrats on 1k and 1 year!)

fun fact i’ve been working on this since december and i remember this was based on a half-prompt or two (i think it was pining losleep from lia and then soulmate au from meri? We Can Pretend That’s Right) that i got when i asked for some but at this point i’m too tired to find the post and also if lia’s memory fails aer then i’m just gonna. Remain An Anonymous Anon fhdkfjd 

ao3

_________________________

Logan likes to study the stars.

There are several reasons for this: they’re beautiful, they fill the sky, bringing light to the darkest of times, they’re constant, ever-shining, they speak of a wider universe.

And of course, they lead you to your soulmate.

Now, Logan hasn’t met his soulmate, but he’s still awed by the stars.

And he doesn’t need his soulmate anyway, not when he has Remy.

Remy. His best friend, full of beauty even at his most broken. His constant, ever-brilliant best friend who convinces him that life can be more than just facts and numbers, who taught him to look at the stars as more than just stars.

Logan knows that stars are glowing balls of incredibly hot gas. He knows that they’re primarily composed of hydrogen and helium, and he knows that their colors differ depending on their temperature.

And yet, when Remy says, “Each star is a lost dream, hoping to return home,” with such conviction, Logan has no choice but to believe him. When Remy proclaims, “Stars are hope for those who have nothing but their light,” Logan knows that in many senses, he’s right. And of course, when Remy purrs, “Ah, but you see, the stars are really just the sparkles I see in your eyes come to life,” Logan can only blush.

Stars aren’t just phosphorescent spheres of hydrogen and helium, and they aren’t just a tool used to find soulmates. Remy proves that, and that’s why Logan finds he loves both him and the stars so very much.

_________________________

Remy likes to study the stars.

There are several reasons for this, and they all lead back to Logan. His best friend, his very own star.

Remy had always wondered why anyone needed the stars when the people around them could shine so brightly on their own, but then he’d seen the way that Logan’s eyes lit up when he was given the chance to talk about them.

Then, he thinks that maybe the stars exist only to sparkle in his friend’s eyes. Maybe the stars exist just so Logan’s whole being can glow when he tells Remy that “Most stars come in multiples and orbit one center of gravity,” and does he think that this could be another reason that stars are the things that determine soulmates? Maybe the stars exist solely for Logan to look so radiant as he mentions to Remy that, “The stars with the most mass burn out the fastest,” and doesn’t he find it fascinating that some of the brightest things in the universe are so short-lived?

Or maybe the stars exist so he can watch as Logan stops talking about them at the slightest hint of a smile on Remy’s face, voice falling into nothing as he sits and stares. Maybe the stars exist so Logan can look at Remy as though he is one too.

Then again, maybe it doesn’t matter why the stars exist. Maybe they and their soulmate determining properties don’t change anything. Maybe the stars can’t change anything at all, especially not where Logan and Remy are concerned.

_________________________

But nothing so beautiful lasts forever, nothing so bright will survive for long. Even the night—the mystical, magical night, a time so shrouded in mystery—must fade, its secrets unveiled as the black velvet lifts away.

And as morning dawns once more, all is revealed. Nothing remains hidden, and the protection of everything held dear is no longer granted so willingly. In a world where light once again reigns and all is laid bare, something as fragile as the happiness Logan and Remy share can not and will not possibly survive.

Every beautiful thing must die, after all.

_________________________

They meet Roman first.

Roman, who Logan’s star finally shines for. Roman, the beautiful, perfect man who’s demeanor is just as bright as Logan’s star. Roman, the actor, the celebrity, Logan’s soulmate.

Logan is, of course, immediately smitten. Who wouldn’t be? This is Roman Prince, after all. He’s everything anyone could ever dream of having in a soulmate. And Remy’s not jealous of that, not jealous of him.

He’s not.

Remy likes Roman. He’s eccentric, but caring and sweet and sensitive and better with emotions than Remy will ever be. Logan deserves someone like him, someone who’s the fire to his ice, someone who’s just the right amount of extra to serve as Logan’s foil, someone whose head is high enough in the clouds that he lifts Logan ever so slightly from the ground upon which he’s so determined to stay.

Remy likes Roman. He likes that Roman is Logan’s soulmate, believes that two people so perfect must be right for each other.

And they are. Remy sees how easily they fit, how precisely they slot into the other’s life. They’re soulmates—of course they belong together. Of course they fit, of course they work, of course they’re… perfect.

Remy doesn’t know what he’d expected. Of course Logan has a soulmate who’s thousands of times more wonderful than Remy could ever hope to be. Of course he does. Remy shouldn’t have ever expected any different, not for Logan. Logan deserves all of this, deserves Roman and his romantic tendencies and pampering and love. Logan deserves all of that and so much more.

And Remy, no matter how much he cares for Logan, could only ever be so much less.

_________________________

They meet Janus next.

Janus, who Remy’s star finally shines for. Janus, the handsome, perfect person whose intelligent eyes shine with more intensity than any star in the sky. Janus, the flirt, the sophisticated and elegant, Remy’s soulmate.

Remy is, of course, immediately smitten. Who wouldn’t be? After meeting Janus, you’d understand how hard it would be to not fall in love with them. He’s everything anyone could ever want in a soulmate, and Logan isn’t jealous of her. Not jealous at all.

He’s not.

Logan likes Janus, truly. Janus, who’s so smooth, suave, and charming. Janus, with words like gold and a tongue of silver, so much more eloquent and self-assured than Logan could ever dream of being. Yes, Remy deserves someone like them, someone who can give him everything he’s ever wanted and more, someone who can wax poetic about him with all the ease of breathing, someone who’s dramatics give Remy’s heart a reason to soar.

Logan likes Janus. He likes that Janus is Remy’s soulmate, believes that two people so perfect must be right for each other.

And they are. Logan can see how easily Janus can bring a blush to Remy’s cheeks, how much she can make him smile. They’re soulmates—of course they make each other happy. Of course they laugh together, of course their eyes are brightest when they meet each other’s, of course they’re… perfect.

Logan doesn’t know what he’d expected. Of course Remy has a soulmate who’s trillions of light-years better than Logan could hope to be. Of course he does. Remy deserves all of this, deserves Janus’s brilliant mind and sparks of romance and love. Remy deserves all of that and so much more.

And Logan, no matter how much he cares for Remy, could only ever be so much less.

_________________________

On the night Logan and Remy have their first kiss, it’s raining—storming, really. The raindrops fall in sheets, and it’s a struggle to see anything more than a foot away. The sky has clouded over too, and the world is lit only by neon signs and street lamps, car headlights and refractions. There isn’t a single moonbeam to light the sky and not one star glimmers.

Perhaps that’s why they feel emboldened enough to talk to each other—really talk to each other—to confess, to pull each other close, to put everything they’d ever known in jeopardy. Perhaps, once the source of their fear had drifted out of sight, Logan and Remy understood for the first time that there was nothing to fear at all, that there never had been.

Perhaps, then, it is the trade of starlight for city lights that causes Remy to take Logan’s hand without a care for who’s watching, to spin him around with a laugh beneath a sky full of storm clouds, to twirl him ever closer before they stop in the middle of the sidewalk—does that all just to see his face, to have him near, would have always done all that and more. Perhaps it is the way the neon lights are reflected in the sheen of water on Remy’s face that causes Logan’s breath to catch in his throat, perhaps it is the fact that the raindrops coating Logan’s glasses looked like stardust that causes Remy’s heart to do that same.

Perhaps it is everything that was and is that lifts Remy’s hands to Logan’s face, keeps their eyes interlocked, lets the words “you’re beautiful” spill out of one of their mouths, out of both of them, out of none. The words might have been spoken with the way their eyes sparkled, hearts pounded, breathes quickened, smiles deepened, but they are there, floating in the air between them. They’re there as Remy wipes the streams of rain from Logan’s face like they’re tears, with an impossible sort of gentleness reserved for only the most precious of things. They’re there as he continues to brush his thumbs over skin dark as night and just as beautiful, they’re there as smiles fade into hopeless longing. They’re there as Remy’s gaze asks what words cannot, as Logan responds with a nod, both imperceptible to anyone outside of the now silent world of their own creation.

This time, Remy knows he says, “You’re beautiful, Logan.” He knows this because he feels Logan’s cheeks heat up beneath his hands and though his self-control had been a lost cause from the start, any that he may have still possessed vanishes in an instant. Remy’s eyes slip shut, and he’s falling.

Remy and Logan kiss like falling stars, doomed from the very moment their lips meet. They kiss like a star about to go supernova, like they know their time is limited to this instant and this instant alone. Their kiss is Gliese 436b, a paradox that occurred against all odds. Like Gliese 436b, the world around them is so cold, and yet they burn from the inside out. They are shooting stars, and they wish upon each other, neither wanting time to start up again, for everything to fall in on itself, for their universe to collapse.

But they burn too brightly to survive for long, so a collapse is inevitable. The light that was their kiss transforms to the complete absence of it as they both go dark; for Remy and Logan are not only stars, they are also a black hole—cosmic quicksand, dragging each other into the unknowable as they hold on with everything they are and it is still not enough, never enough. They can’t hold on forever, and so they must let go and they must breathe. That is their first mistake: extinguishing their shared light.

As they stop burning so intensely, they make their second mistake: allowing the light to stay dark. They still have their hands placed in rain-soaked waves of hair, running over cheeks streaked with what could be raindrops or tears, gripping wet shirts that cling to torsos, gliding over arms made smooth by water, but they will not kiss again. And that is a terrible, horrible thing because it allows for mistake number three.

Their third mistake is one that would have happened one day, even without mistakes one and two, one that is so inescapable that nothing could ever dream of stopping it. The third mistake Logan and Remy make is allowing for their once-burning light to collapse in on itself, to fall apart so thoroughly that the place they shared their kiss will never again allow anything near it to shine that brilliantly or at all. The street lamp that watches over them now will never again be illuminated after tonight, impossibly dark no matter what lightbulb is twisted into it. The car headlights that pass by will flicker, and any neon signs nearby will dim before going out with a pop of sparks. The collapse they will allow creates a darkness so profound that one cannot pass under the street lamp, stare into the headlights, wander past what used to be a neon sign without shivering—not from the cold, but from an atmosphere so desolate that anyone who bears witness to it will remember it with a feeling like a dagger to the heart for the rest of their days.

Their third mistake brings about an all-encompassing darkness, but the all-encompassing darkness is a result of the collapse that precedes it, a collapse that begins when Logan untangles one hand from rain-soaked waves of hair and yanks the other away from its grip on a wet, clingy shirt, and a collapse that is their third mistake, not the darkness that follows. The collapse only grows more devastating as Logan, still gasping for air, breathes out an apology. “I’m sorry,” he says, and the rate of the collapse increases astronomically.

“Why are you sorry?” Remy asks, about to destroy any hope that the black hole they’ve created might not rip entire galaxies apart. “Did you not want to kiss me, babe? No, forget I asked that,” he laughs, shakes his head, interrupts himself before continuing on a course set towards destruction, “of course you wanted to kiss me. I know you, doll, and I know you wanted to kiss me, and you said you wanted to kiss me, and I know that you love me. You must, and even though the stars say you don’t, I know you do and I know I’m right.”

“Remy,” Logan breathes, not wanting to say anything else at all. “Remy, I—” he hesitates once again, and the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest hitches as Remy leans forward in anticipation. Logan wants to prevent the shattering of the hope etched on his face, wants to offer an explanation that could somehow minimize the damage of the most destructive thing in the universe. But he doesn’t. He, in fact, does the exact opposite of that. By simply saying, “You’re wrong,” Logan has effectively sealed his and Remy’s fates.

“No,” Remy says, walking over broken glass with his voice, “I’m not wrong. You’re lying, babe. I know you are.”

In a sharp contrast to Remy’s, Logan’s voice is colder than space itself, freezing anything remotely human immediately and without remorse. “What does it matter? We both have soulmates, and mine is not you.”

“What does that matter?”

“What doe—” Logan looks incredulous, and the divide between him and Remy widens as he takes a step back. “I’m afraid I don’t see what you mean. Soulmates aren’t the sort of thing you can ignore quite so easily.”

“Come on now, babe. You of all people have heard stories of people who never find their soulmates, who find love in other places, who—”

“But those people haven’t found their soulmates. That’s the point, and that’s where we differ from them. We have found our soulmates, and ignoring the stars so blatantly will only break their hearts. I refuse to do that.”

“They’ll understand though, I know they will.” Remy’s voice sounds infinitely less sure than it had when he’d begun this conversation. The conviction has drained from his words, drawn into the endless depths of the ever-growing black hole.

Logan shakes his head, expression closing off entirely. “No. They won’t, and you know that as well as I do. You’re only deluding yourself if you truly believe otherwise.”

“Babe—”

“Please don’t.”

Remy knows what Logan’s tone means. That discomfort, that refusal to accept the pet name that’s normally thrown around so very casually, that icy expression twisting for barely the blink of an eye into involuntary fondness—Logan does love him. Not that Remy had ever doubted that fact, not really, but the confirmation is a comfort to hear. “Logan, then,” he amends, making a point to speak his name as reverently as possible, fitting as much love and adoration into one word as he can. “Logan, my darling, my dear, my light, my star—you will never know until you try.”

Logan, as a general rule, doesn’t blush. His skin is too dark for the red heat rushing to his cheeks to stand out and even if that wasn’t the case, he is impossible to fluster. But tonight, under a street lamp that will all too soon flicker out for good, Remy can see the barest hint of color gracing Logan’s cheeks. His mouth opens as he tries to form a response, but it shuts again just as quickly.

“No,” he settles on after a moment that had stretched on for a short eternity. “No, I am not going to risk hurting them. I care for Roman, and Janus is… she’s important to you. So we will not speak of this again. It would be best to forget this happened entirely.”

“Logan—” Remy begins, saying that name with the same sweetness he’d used before, reaching a hand across the darkness between them with a wish for one last brush of his hand against Logan’s cheek, one last touch.

Logan takes another step backwards. “I think it would be best if I didn’t see you for a while.” Another step. “I’m sorry,” he says. I’m sorry for kissing you when I knew I shouldn’t, I’m sorry if you loved me and I hurt you by pulling away now, by always pulling away, I’m sorry for falling in love with you when I knew we were never meant to be. I’m so, so sorry, he doesn’t say.

“I—” I love you, Logan. Nothing you do now or ever will change that, Remy doesn’t reply. “I’m sorry too,” Remy decides to say instead.

As the black hole from their supernova of a kiss forms fully, Logan walks away, rain streaming down his face once more, tasting oddly of salt when a droplet catches on his lips.

As the black hole from the supernova of their kiss forms fully, as Logan walks away, Remy stands beneath the street lamp, watching him go before the lights surrounding him all flicker out.

As the black hole from the supernova of their kiss forms fully, as Logan walks away, as Remy stands beneath the street lamp, every spark of hope either of them had ever held is extinguished by the rain that pours down around them; each dream of what could have been is consumed by the black hole of their own creation.

Everything beautiful must die, after all.

_________________________

Roman has been fighting for perfection his whole life.

From the moment he was born, he’d been expected to do everything right. Not one slip-up had been allowed, not one action that could in any way be perceived as wrong.

He’d been able to appear flawless—he still can, of course, and he doesn’t want to know what would have happened if he hadn’t been. His smiles glitter, the light hitting them just right each and every time. His grace is unprecedented, his skin unblemished, each curve of his muscles chiseled to perfection. Roman’s ideas are always polished when he presents them, and you’d have to comb through hours of footage to find a second of any of his performances that could be considered anywhere near average, and you simply wouldn’t find anything below that standard. Each word he says is picked out meticulously, long before he plans to speak them, and each laugh is even more carefully timed.

There is not a single aspect of Roman that wouldn’t be considered enviable. He has everything—star status, money, friends, fans—and it’s all due to his absolute perfection.

And it was hard to get there. God, it was hard. Being held to such a standard, constantly on display, each move he made being judged to the highest extreme imaginable—to anyone else, it would be impossible.

But for Roman? This has been his life for as long as he’s lived it.

The only thing that’s ever-so-slightly imperfect about him is the distinct absence of a soulmate in his life. It’s okay though! The world is more accepting these days, and soulmates no longer define you. The fact that Roman doesn’t have one hardly ruins his perfection.

Still, though, it does. The world may be more accepting, but not having a soulmate is far from destigmatized, and Roman is the only person of his caliber to be so very… flawed, in that sense.

He tries not to show how much it hurts to be looked down upon for something entirely out of his control, but it does. It hurts, and it hurts more than he will ever say. Roman’s fight to be perfect is doomed to fail unless he can manage to fix how utterly broken he is.

So that’s why, when he meets Logan and their stars light up the whole sky, he falls hopelessly in love in the very next breath he takes. The stars chose Logan for him, and the stars would not be wrong. It doesn’t matter who Logan is, what he’s like, if he likes Roman in return—it’s all negligible.

It’s all so very negligible because now, at long, long last, Roman is perfect.

_________________________

Janus has been perfect his whole life.

From the moment she was born, everything they’d done had been effortless. It was unfathomable that he’d make a single slip-up; not one action that they could ever make would be perceived as wrong.

Janus is, of course, far from perfect—and to be completely honest, he’s not sure why anyone would view him as such. Sure, she’s impossibly suave, causing anyone who crosses their path to swoon with the slightest of winks and sure, their cleverness enchants anyone who hadn’t yet fallen for them. Even with half of his face horrifically scarred, she is still one of the most utterly gorgeous beings to have ever lived—all glitter and mismatched eyes and charm, lit from within with confidence and smirks and eloquence. His words can convince anyone of anything, yes, but that isn’t to say that they’re manipulative. That would make him imperfect, and Janus is not imperfect—she is quick-witted and full of class, voice sugary sweet in a way that can’t possibly be genuine and yet is almost always entirely so.

There is not a single aspect of Janus that wouldn’t be considered enviable. He has everything—a brilliant mind and looks to match, riches, influence, people who would kill for them—and it’s all due to her indisputable perfection.

But the thing is—they aren’t perfect. Appearing to be perfect doesn’t mean that they actually are. And now— now he can’t be imperfect. Now, she’s held to a standard she can’t possibly keep meeting, constantly being observed and studied and judged—to anyone else, it would be impossible.

But Janus? They make this impossibility look effortless.

The only thing that offers him any reprieve from his neverending performance is the fact that he doesn’t have a soulmate. It’s the one thing that keeps her even slightly imperfect, and Janus is perfectly fine with it staying that way. All they want is to prove—one flaw at a time—that they aren’t infallible.

Still, though, no one believes him. They’re kept on a pedestal, their lack of a soulmate going completely ignored. Everyone she knows remains stubborn in the belief that she can do no wrong.

They try not to show how much it pains them to be living a constant lie, to never be allowed to act in a way that’s true to who they are, but it does. It pains him, and it pains him more than he will ever say. Janus’s quiet struggle to be herself is doomed to fail unless she can manage to prove to someone how truly broken she is.

So that’s why, when he meets Remy and their stars light up the whole sky, he nearly falls apart right then and there. It doesn’t matter to them why the stars had chosen Remy for him, and not only because the stars wouldn’t be wrong. It doesn’t matter who Remy is, what he’s like, if he too feels panicked and suffocated by the very idea of a soulmate—it’s all negligible.

It’s all hopelessly negligible because now, on a day that’s come entirely too soon for her liking, the stars have torn away her one hope at being perceived as imperfect.

_________________________

There is no such thing as perfection, not a single person who could ever be considered flawless. Even the day—the glorious, golden day, a time so saturated with majesty—has its faults, its radiance paled by the multitude of stars that pierce the night.

And as the sun does rise, each fissure that’s torn its way through each person is revealed. In the harsh light of day, there’s nowhere to hide and each stain lain upon a pristine world is thrown into sharp relief. Unable to conceal anything else, darkness retreats and, having been so thinly veiled, there was never any way Roman and Janus’s perfection could have withstood the onslaught of daylight.

The idea of perfection is a beautiful thing, but like all beautiful things, it can never last.

_________________________

Roman loves Logan. His boyfriend is brilliant and funny in a dry way Roman hadn’t ever thought he’d grow to adore, and Logan’s mind is one of the most beautiful things Roman has ever had the honor of being in the presence of. He is in awe of the darkness of Logan’s skin and how he can run his own hands over it, making golden lights spread over the night sky of Logan’s face or take Logan’s hand in his, causing warm starlight to glow from between his fingers.

And Logan is his soulmate. The stars brought them together, and Roman couldn’t be happier, couldn’t be luckier.

Roman loves Logan, really, he does, so why are his eyes constantly drawn to Janus? Janus, Remy’s soulmate. Janus, with the scar on his face that they make beautiful by framing it with shimmering golden highlights and the confidence to wear it proudly. Janus, whose smile could light the night sky all on its own. Janus, whose winks and compliments cause Roman to melt a little more every day. Janus, who— oh god. Janus, who—

Janus, who Roman’s in love with.

Janus, who Remy’s in love with, who’s Remy’s soulmate.

Janus, who isn’t Roman’s soulmate. Janus, who he can’t be in love with. Janus, who wouldn’t ever love him.

Roman realizes this, of course he realizes this. He understands that he will never be allowed to be with Janus, no matter what he may want. He knows that he still cares for Logan, albeit not in the way he’d originally thought. Spending his life with Logan won’t be so bad.

Even if Janus is right there, her gorgeously mismatched eyes taunting him every time they’re in the same room. Even if they continue to wink, to smile, to compliment, to flirt, Roman knows they cannot ever and will not ever be together. No matter what he may want.

So he ignores his feelings. Ignores Janus’s incessant winks, his smiles, compliments, flirtations. Roman ignores it all, making a point to dote on Logan ever more, take him on increasingly extravagant dates, use every opportunity he can to kiss him. He knows that doesn’t equate to love. He knows that he isn’t proving anything to anyone. But what else can he do when his mind short circuits every time Janus so much as looks at him, when it goes completely blank each time they laugh?

Nothing. Roman can do nothing about this, and it’s driving him insane. So what if this doting, these lavish dates, those unabashed displays of public affection are all performed to stop himself from further examining his own feelings? So what if it isn’t truly helping? So what if he can’t help but imagine running his fingers through Janus’s hair even as his hand ghosts over Logan’s? So what if he dreams that the fingers his are laced with belong to Janus instead? So what if fantasizes about holding them close to his body and burying a kiss in her hair while it’s Logan who leans against him?

Most days, faking everything works. Most days, everything feels almost normal. He’s been a perfect actor his entire life, and he’s not about to stop being one now.

And if no one notices that something isn’t normal, then maybe nothing is.

_________________________

Janus loves Remy.

…That’s a lie. He doesn’t love Remy.

…That’s not quite true either, though. Because they do love him, they do love his snark and sarcasm, his smirks and coffee-brown eyes so often hidden behind his sunglasses. It’s not true at all, really, because she does love all that and more. Just not in the way soulmates are, according to society, supposed to love each other.

So they aren’t in the wrong exactly, and she isn’t truly lying every time they tell Remy ‘I love you,’ but he also isn’t truly free of blame either. Her feelings may not be her fault, but the way they handle Remy’s feelings is. So she’s careful, so incredibly careful. His actions don’t betray a thing. To an outside observer, he would appear to be utterly, perfectly in love.

But that’s just the thing. She’s not.

…That’s a lie too. They are in love, just not with Remy.

At least, that’s what he thinks he feels. She thinks she’s in love, but then again, they’ve never been in love before. He has no idea, if he’s being honest, what love feels like. All she knows is that when she looks at Roman, she feels something entirely different than what she feels when she looks at Remy.

Remy feels like comfort and stability—something to hold onto when the rest of the world falls to ruin, a star that remains set in the sky, guiding you home.

They’d always been told that romantic love would feel like fire—something that burns on contact, a wonderful, searing pain that scorches you from the inside out, illuminating the best parts of you and incinerating the worst.

Whereas Roman… Roman feels like sunlight—something that’s not quite intense enough to burn on contact but still managing to light up corners of you that would otherwise remain hidden, casting shadows on things you’d rather not see, a ray of light that fills you with warmth and happiness and something just slightly to the left of what you’d imagine true love to be.

Janus doesn’t know a word for that feeling, though. It’s not quite as intense as love has been described to her as, but what else would it be?

No, they’re definitely in love with Roman. Roman, who’s spun of sunlight and pure gold. Roman, who’s outer physique betrays just how strong he is inside. Roman, with his bright laughter and genuine words and a mind full of ideas so intensely radiant no one else could have possibly dreamt them up. Roman, who she could wax poetic about for hours on end.

Roman who, yes, is Logan’s soulmate and not his. But that’s just a technicality, isn’t it? No star had ever stated that soulmates had to be strictly romantic. And the stars are wise. Soulmates were their gift to the world, they wouldn’t mess something like this up. Society is what dictates that soulmates indicate romantic attraction and romantic attraction alone.

And society is often wrong, is it not?

So perhaps Janus and Remy are, in fact, still soulmates. Perhaps Roman and Logan are as well.

But perhaps they’ve all been wrong about the sort of soulmates they are.

But then again, what if Janus is wrong about this? What if the stars do only deal in romance and her feelings for Roman are nothing more than infatuation? What if—god forbid—society is truly right this time? What if they just… choose to ignore their gut feeling this time? What if it’s better to continue pretending, just in case? Because what if he’s the reason Remy’s heart breaks, that Logan’s heart breaks, that his own heart breaks when he realizes his love for Roman is unrequited?

Yes, that’s what she’ll do. Keep pretending. Doing anything else won’t be worth the pain.

So Janus goes on pretending—pretending to be in love with Remy, pretending to be perfect. At times, it comes as easily as breathing. But at other times, she has to imagine Roman’s face in the place of Remy’s. Replace pale skin for golden, add warmth to his eyes and hair, sharpen his jawline and cheekbones, fill out his frame with just a touch more muscle. Pretend the cocky smirk is a blinding smile. It’s still easy enough, most days, and that’s all that matters.

They’ve been pretending their whole life, it’s not as though anything will go wrong now.

_________________________

The day of Janus and Roman’s first kiss is not “most days.” It’s the opposite, really. Logan and Remy aren’t there, for one. Janus is awake before the day has truly begun, and the scene in front of him is painted with golden fire. The sky is perfectly clear, and the only thing needed to light up the world is the soft glow of the sun.

Perhaps this radiance is why Roman too is awake at such an early hour. Perhaps that’s why he’s sought out Janus, why he’s approaching the steps of their porch with such light in his eyes. Perhaps, once the dark of night had passed, the truths Roman and Janus had held so close are finally brought with them into the dawn.

Perhaps, then, it is the trade of a midnight-colored sky for one spun from gold that causes Roman to fit himself next to Janus on the top step without a passing thought spared for the rest of the early-morning stillness, to allow his hand to linger just slightly too close to hers, to watch as the slow rise of the sun creates a perfect halo around their head. Perhaps it is the warmth of Roman’s hand that rests so close to theirs and the matching look on his face that causes Janus’s breath to catch in her throat, perhaps it is the way that the sky full of fire sets Janus’s eyes alight that causes Roman’s heart to do the same.

Perhaps it is everything that was and is that convinces Roman to place his hand over Janus’s, interlocks their fingers, lets the silence linger for a moment, for an hour, a year, a lifetime. The silence persists and though there is such intense meaning in the heat that ignites in their eyes and in the way their hearts pound, breaths quicken, faces glow—the air remains heavy without their voices to fill it. The world goes quiet as Roman lifts Janus’s hand off the ground like it’s a rose made of glass. It stays quiet as he becomes transfixed by the hand resting in his own, it stays quiet as he looks up to meet eyes of molten gold and sunlit skies. It stays quiet as Roman’s gaze asks what words cannot, as Janus responds with a nod, both actions imperceptible to the rest of a world still held captive by sleep.

Like the breaking of porcelain, Roman’s voice shatters the silence with the words, “You’re beautiful, Janus.” The destruction of something so pristine is more than fine though because as he says this, Janus’s face begins to glow with even more warmth and any restraint Roman may have previously been inclined to show vanishes in an instant. Unwilling to break anything else, Roman’s eyes stay open as he falls.

The kiss Roman lays on Janus’s hand is delicate, softer than the drift of cherry blossom petals floating to the ground. He’s impossibly careful with every movement he makes, picking his way through a cluster of thorn-covered roses—both avoiding drawing blood and basking in the beauty that surrounds him. Roman may have only kissed Janus on her hand, but that simple action causes both of their bodies to go alight with tongues of fire. They are the coming of dawn, bright and brilliant and inevitable; they revel in their warmth and the hope that they represent.

Sunrises don’t transform into black holes, don’t destroy everything they touch, don’t cause the universe to collapse. They simply are, certain and pure.

Nothing is ruined when Roman lifts his lips from the back of Janus’s hand. There is no tragedy that follows his next breath, no misfortune that befalls him. He merely sits there, breathing, living, waiting for Janus to make the next move as his hand remains wrapped around theirs.

“What was that?” Janus asks finally, choosing those words to fracture the silence while already knowing the answer to them. It was a confession, a confirmation, a spur-of-the-moment decision, a kiss.

“A kiss,” Roman replies, echoing Janus’s thoughts. “Did I overstep any boundaries?”

“No, no. I would have stopped you if I were uncomfortable.”

“Then what is it, my dearest?”

“I just— I need to think. I promise it’s not anything you need to worry over, but… I need time.”

“That’s perfectly fine,” Roman says, worrying anyway.

Janus’s head drops into their hands, and the world falls into silence once more. With nothing else to do, Roman leans back on his arms and lets his mind wander aimlessly as well, trying his best to stop himself from catastrophizing. He replays the kiss in his head, a soft smile growing on his face before he gasps and his eyes go wide with a realization.

Pushing himself off the ground, Roman turns to Janus. Placing a hand lightly on her knee, he proclaims, “I think you’re my soulmate, Janus.”

Janus blinks, startled. After going completely still for a moment, the reply he ends up giving is, “Are you sure?”

Now it’s Roman’s turn to blink in incredulity. “Yes, of course!” he says, a slightly conflicted frown growing on his face. “I know I have to have a soulmate because everyone has a soulmate and I know I don’t like Logan in the way you’re supposed to like a soulmate because the feelings I have for him are in the same vein as the feelings I have for my other friends—really, I’ve begun to think of him as my best friend because I do love him so very much, just not like that—and I love you in a different way, so you must be my soulmate. Since I can’t— I can’t just not have a soulmate, it has to be you. I love you, Janus, and I love you differently, so this is the only explanation that makes sense.”

“Roman, darling, that’s not how soulmates work.”

“What do you mean? Of course it is!”

Janus takes a deep breath, resolving to keep his voice gentle upon realizing he’s likely about to completely shatter Roman’s world-view. “Soulmates aren’t strictly romantic, you do know that, right? Often, they can take the form of a best friend or, when one or more of the soulmates in question is aromantic, a queerplatonic partner.”

“That can’t be right,” Roman says, scrunching up his nose in thinly veiled disdain. “Soulmates have to be romantic, that’s just the way things are.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, love,” Janus says, tacking the bit of affection onto the end to soften their words. “They don’t have to be romantic, and there are more cases than you can imagine that prove that. Your soulmate is determined by the glow of your star, not through your own interpretation of how you feel. You may love me, but that doesn’t mean I’m your soulmate.”

“So then… what are you saying? Do— do you not love me as anything other than a friend and you don’t want to properly reject me? Is that why you’re making up this elaborate story? Or is it because you don’t want to hurt Remy or Logan? Or—”

Janus cuts him off before he can come up with anything else. “What? No, it’s not that at all! Besides, Remy and Logan are so clearly in love that I don’t think they’d mind us being together at all and—” Janus cuts themself off, clearing their throat. “—and we can worry about those two gay disasters later. That’s not where I was going with that, apologies.” She rakes a hand through her hair before continuing with considerably less frantic energy, “I’m telling you the truth, Roman. I wouldn’t make something like this up, especially not since I—” Janus frowns suddenly, cutting off her words.

“You…?” Roman prompts, a glimmer of hope spreading across his feature.

Taking a steadying breath, Janus replies, “Since I— I love you too. But,” they add, holding out a hand once they see Roman’s mouth open, words on the tip of his tongue, “I don’t think I love you in exactly the same way you love me.” When Roman’s joy turns to confusion, she quickly begins speaking again. “It’s… a bit hard to explain, in all honesty. I know I don’t love you in the way I would love a friend, but at the same time—” Janus stops, unsure of how to continue. “You know how romantic love is supposed to feel like fire?” he decides to ask, changing approaches entirely. “And how platonic love feels like… a fixed star?”

And, weirdly enough, Roman does know. He understands Janus’s strange comparisons because he feels exactly the same way, and he’s so startled by the way that they’ve apparently seen into his heart that he merely nods in response.

“Well,” Janus continues slowly, “what I feel for you is something in between. Think of it as sunlight, almost. It’s still a force of golden heat, but it feels less like burning and more like a soft warmth that saturates your entire being. It may come from a fixed star, but the sunlight itself is more fluid and of a far warmer hue. It’s love, undoubtedly, but not exactly in the way you’d think of it.”

Roman nods again, Janus’s words resonating with him in a way nothing has before. Then, realizing again what she’s saying, shakes his head rapidly. “No. No, you’re wrong. That sunlight feeling is what I feel for you, and I know that’s romantic love. It has to be. Just because it’s less fiery than we’ve been told it should be doesn’t mean it’s not romantic love.” Roman shakes his head again, repeating in a whisper, “It has to be.”

“I’m not telling you what you’re feeling, Roman. Your sunlight feeling can still be romantic, I’m just trying to explain that mine isn’t.”

Roman knows, somehow, that his sunlight feeling isn’t romantic either. Calling it romantic simply doesn’t feel right, but he ignores that sense of wrongness. If this isn’t romantic love, then Roman has never felt romantic love and that means he’s broken and— “I can’t be broken,” Roman rasps out.

Janus reacts immediately, taking Roman’s face in her hands. “You aren’t broken.”

“But if that sunlight isn’t romantic love—”

“I told you it could be,” Janus interjects.

“—and I know it’s not and I’d only be lying to myself if I said it was—but if that’s the only thing I’ve ever felt that gets even sort of close to fire, that means I’ve never felt real romantic love and that means I’m broken.”

“No, it doesn’t. You aren’t broken,” Janus repeats again, the sunlight in their eyes turning her gaze that much more intense. They take a breath, taking one hand from Roman’s face to run it through his hair almost unconsciously. “Have you heard of the term ‘aromantic?’”

Roman shakes his head slightly, careful not to dislodge Janus’s hands from where they’re currently tangled in his hair and brushing over his cheek.

“It refers to someone who doesn’t feel romantic attraction in the same way the term ‘asexual’ refers to someone who doesn’t feel sexual attraction. Neither one means that the person is broken, or unfeeling, or in any way flawed. It’s simply a part of who they are—and a part of who I am.” Janus untangles his hand from Roman’s hair before shifting to sit on his knees. “Whether you also choose to adopt this label or not, whether you relate to it or not, whether you want to wait and find out more before you do anything or not, you, Roman Prince, are. Not. Broken.” With those words, Janus raises herself up until her forehead is level with Roman’s, resting it against his. “You. Are. Not. Broken,” they repeat, putting as much emphasis as they can on each word without screaming it.

“Thank you,” Roman says, and he means it with all of his heart. “I love you,” he adds, and he means it not as an afterthought, not in the way that feels like fire, and not in the way that feels like a star, but in the way that feels like sunlight.

“I love you,” Janus replies, and he too means it in the way that feels like sunlight.

She tilts her head down, Roman tilts his up, and their lips meet in the middle.

The first kiss Janus and Roman share is full of warmth, of passion, of love.

The first kiss Janus and Roman share is in the light of a sunrise that’s barely begun.

The first kiss Janus and Roman share is, even with all of their flaws, somehow, someway, impossibly perfect.

_________________________

“I kissed Janus.”

“That’s nice, Roman dear.”

“Logan, I love you with all of my heart, but did you hear a word I just said?”

Logan blinks, looking up from his book. “Of course I heard you, darling. You said you kissed Janus, which to be perfectly honest, I’m not sure why you expect me to have some kind of reaction to—” he freezes, realization lighting his features. “Oh my god. You kissed Janus.” A thousand different emotions flash across his face at once; relief and betrayal, joy and pain, uncertainty and fear and confusion. “Explain,” he finally settles on saying.

“Easy. I love them, and they love me. When two people fall in love, they often choose to—”

“Roman.”

“Right, sorry. Before I continue though, I feel like I should mention—and this may seem a bit out of the blue, but I promise it’s relevant—you’re in love with Remy.”

“…I’m what.” Logan peers at Roman through squinted eyes, his deadpan voice at once skeptical and utterly baffled.

“In love with Remy, but I’ll get back to that in a second. Firstly though, have you heard of queerplatonic partners or queerplatonic relationships?”

“I am familiar with the terms, yes. What does this have to do with—”

“Shh, just listen for a moment, Lo.”

Logan raises a sardonic eyebrow, not saying a word as he waits for Roman to continue.

“Yes, silence is good for listening,” Roman says with a grin. “Anyhow, what I was getting at is that essentially, Janus and I are in love, just not in the way one would be… romantically in love like, say, youandRemyare.” Roman coughs at the end as though clearing his throat. “He taught me about how he doesn’t feel romantic feelings for me, but rather something just a bit… different. I realized I felt exactly the same, she kissed me, you know the drill. That moment had all the makings of a perfect love story, if I’m being honest,” Roman swooned.

“That’s lovely, but I’m fairly certain that I, and not Janus, am your soulmate.”

“Ah, that’s where Janus’s genius comes in. Again.” Roman fluttered a hand to his chest, swooning once more. “They did research on that exact topic after realizing that ignoring their feelings would only lead them to more pain that they didn’t need, and you know what she found?”

“…Am I supposed to ask you a question for dramatic effect?”

“That would be ideal, yes.”

Logan sighs. “Whatever did she find?” he drones, barely an iota of energy put into his look of mocking curiosity.

“Close enough!” Roman declares. “Since you asked so kindly, I’ll let you know that Janus found out that soulmates—drumroll, please—don’t have to be romantic.”

Logan’s exasperated expression dropped from his face immediately and his whole being seemed to brighten with new hope. “What did you just say?”

“Soulmates! Don’t have to be romantic!”

“Are you certain?”

“Are you doubting the research capabilities of the love of my life?”

“I thought I was the love of your life.”

“Exactly!” Upon seeing Logan’s frown, Roman amends, “I mean, you can both be! That’s what’s so great about this discovery! Soulmates don’t have to be romantic, and in fact, there are so many precedents for them not being romantic that I’m shocked, I’d never heard a word about any of them before today.” Roman’s bright expression dimmed the smallest bit as his voice became more serious. “My point is though, you can both be the loves of my life since there are so very many types of love to be expressed and I have a nearly infinite supply of love to go around.”

“Oh.”

Roman looks at him incredulously. “‘Oh?’ Is that all you’re going to say?”

“If you’ll give me a moment, I’ll provide you with a more satisfactory reaction. I need to think about—”

“—what this means for you and Remy. Yeah, I know, I get it. You love him and he’s the best friend that you could ever ask for and you don’t want to ruin that by changing the label on your relationship.”

“…No. Not that at all.”

“No?” Roman asks, sounding genuinely confused. “Was that… was I not right?”

Logan tilted his head from side to side in contemplation. “Mm, those were my feelings before, but then—” he suddenly clamped his mouth shut. “Never mind.”

“No, please continue.”

“I’d rather not.”

“Aw, come on Lo. I won’t be upset.”

“Oh, I know you won’t, not after what you just explained. I’m more worried about— about Remy right now.”

“Sorry?”

Logan takes a deep breath. “I kissed him.”

“You what now?”

“Or he kissed me, or… it’s a bit of a blur, actually. I can’t seem to remember exactly what happened, but—”

“Logan, love, why would Remy be upset with you because you kissed him?”

“It’s not— it wasn’t—” Logan scrunches his face up as though trying to hide the emotions reveal themselves upon it. “It wasn’t the kiss.”

“What was it, then?”

“It’s… after the kiss, I… may have freaked out just a bit and decided it would be best for us to leave each other alone… ‘for a while’ I said, but I meant indefinitely.”

“Logan.”

Logan holds up a placating hand. “I’m perfectly aware that this was a terrible decision on my part, but in all fairness, I have never once claimed to be good at handling my emotions, especially not ones as overwhelming as what I feel for, uh. You know.”

“For Remy,” Roman says, looking expectantly at Logan. “You realize you’re going to have to admit out loud that you love him someday, right?”

Logan coughs awkwardly, looking to the side to hide his flushed face. “Yes, for— for Remy. Yes.”

“…That’s a start,” Roman concedes. “Now, what do you plan to do about your grade-a idiocy?”

“I haven’t thought that far ahead.”

“Yes, well, perhaps you should’ve.”

“I’m aware, Roman.”

“Would you like some assistance?”

“With… apologizing?”

“Mhm.”

“You know, I think that’s one thing I’ll be able to handle myself. I just have to call him, and everything will—”

“Hold on, hold up, stop right there. What, exactly, do you think you’re doing?”

Logan freezes, fingers hovering just above his phone screen. “…Calling Remy to apologize to him?”

“After breaking his heart, you’re going to apologize with a phone call?”

“That was the plan, yes. Why?”

“Because that’s a terrible apology!”

“As far as apologies go, I think it’s actually pretty standard.”

“Sure, but this is the love of your life, we’re talking about, Logan. You can’t apologize to him over the phone. You need to shock him with a romantic gesture so grand that he’ll have no choice but to forgive you!”

“Do you think— do you think there’s a chance he won’t forgive me?”

“No!” Roman corrects quickly. “That isn’t what I’m saying at all. I just think that this is a bigger deal than you’re pretending it is, so a bit of romance certainly couldn’t hurt.”

“You may be right, but I’ve never…” Logan shakes his head. “I wouldn’t even know where to start.”

“Well… if you don’t want to do something too grand and romantic, you can at least take him somewhere special.”

“Like a fancy restaurant?”

“No, not quite. More like… someplace that holds meaning for the two of you, you know?”

Logan lights up, positively glowing. “I think I have just the place.”

_________________________

“Remy darling, have you left the couch at all today?”

Remy pouts in response. “So what if I haven’t? I’m in emotional distress, babes.”

“Hm,” Janus hums. “While that’s fair, I still don’t think merely sitting around all day is going to do much to help with that.”

Remy’s pout grows. “Just because you’re right doesn’t mean you have to say it.”

Janus laughs lightly. “Come on a walk with me? You need to leave the house again someday.”

“I don’t, actually. You’re a fancy lawyer, so I can become a lonely hermit who never leaves his house with no consequence. Besides,” he grins, and after so much practice, it hardly looks forced at all, “I have you, and what more could I want?”

Janus raises an eyebrow, but they don’t comment. “How about if you come on a walk with me anyway, and if you really want, we can even go to that criminally overpriced coffee shop you like so much.”

“The one that’s over a mile away?”

“That’s the one.”

“And we’d have to walk?”

“Remy, darling, walking is good for you. A mile is hardly anything, anyway.”

Remy continues pouting, hoping that something in his face will make Janus relent. “You’re starting to sound like Lo—” his voice gives out, and he has to clear his throat to continue sounding unaffected, “—like Logan,” he finishes. “And why do you want to go on a walk so much anyway?”

“I have something I’d like to talk to you about, and if we start having a conversation while you’re seated, you’ll inevitably start pacing around the room. I’m just taking preemptive action to avoid that, love.”

“Good point, but now I’m worried. What do you want to talk about?”

“Come on a walk and I’ll tell you,” Janus says, a wry smirk on his face.

“This is blackmail.” Remy looks at Janus dolefully, his pout having taken up permanent residence on his face at this point.

“Oh, you don’t have to come if it would inconvenience you that much. I can always go out and get coffee by myself.” She blinks innocently, knowing perfectly well that no matter what she says now, Remy’s mind has been made up. There’s no way he’s going to be able to sit at home knowing that Janus wants to talk to him about a very mysterious, very anxiety-inducing something.

“You know what—” Remy trails off mid-sentence, realizing he’s been beaten. “I’ll get my jacket,” he says begrudgingly, finally standing up from his spot on the couch.

Janus smiles in reply, standing up to go wait by the door. “Good choice.” When Remy returns, leather jacket wrapped around himself, they gesture to the now-open door. “After you.”

“Thanks bunches, doll. Now,” he says, the moment he’s stepped past the threshold, “what’s this you wanted to talk about?”

“Why don’t you wait until we get outside at the very least? It wouldn’t do for us to have made it all the way out the door only for you to return home after barely a minute.”

“Sounds like you’re making excuses, Janus, my darling, my love, light of my life.”

“I would never,” she replies easily. “That’s a perfectly reasonable explanation.”

“Sure it is.”

“I haven’t the faintest idea what you’re talking about.”

“Sure you don’t.”

“Just… walk down the stairs. That’s all I ask, love.”

“Yeah, and I couldn’t possibly complete such an arduous task.”

“Remy—” Janus sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose between his forefinger and thumb.

“I’m joking, I’m joking. The task is arduous, I’m just skilled enough to complete it without even breaking a sweat.”

Janus raises a skeptical eyebrow, shaking their head at that. “Why do I put up with you,” she deadpans.

“Because you love me,” Remy sing-songs, bounding down the stairs ahead of them.

“How could I forget,” he murmurs, watching Remy with thinly veiled amusement.

“How indeed,” Remy agrees, having just barely overheard them from partway down the staircase. “Now come on, I don’t want to be kept waiting after you’ve mentioned an important conversation.”

Janus descends the stairs after Remy, silent until they reach the bottom.

“What’s up?” Remy asks again, stuck to Janus’s side once more like a lost puppy. “Is something wrong?”

“No, nothing’s… wrong, exactly. And we aren’t outside yet,” she points out.

“That’s not ominous at all, babe.” Remy rolls his eyes, but Janus can tell he only does it to mask his nerves.

“I suppose it is,” Janus muses.

“…So’re you gonna elaborate on that?”

Janus steps outside. “One block first, so you don’t decide to turn back as soon as I start talking.”

“You’re stalling,” Remy points out, but he doesn’t press the issue any further.

“So I am.”

The two walk almost one full block in companionable silence before Remy asks again, “What d’you want to talk about?”

“It hasn’t been a block yet,” Janus insists.

“Technicalities bore me. Spill.”

Sighing, Janus says with no preamble at all, “I kissed Roman.”

“Stop right there, hun. Now, I’m sorry, but you what?”

“Kissed Roman,” they repeat.

“Anything else you’re going to say about that? At all?”

“So many things.” Janus takes a breath, opens his mouth, closes it again.

“Go on then,” Remy says, gesturing for her to do so with a nod of his head.

“Right. Essentially, soulmates aren’t necessarily romantic, and I don’t love you in a romantic sense. I don’t love Roman in a romantic sense either, technically—but that’s an explanation for another day. All that matters right now is that, provided you’re alright with it, Roman and I would like to be in a queerplatonic relationship and would far prefer to be nothing more than friends with you and Logan. Close friends,” he adds, “best friends, even, but not romantically involved. There’s precedent for this sort of thing if you’re wondering, and I can pull up a few sources that I have saved—”

“No, you know, I think I’ll be fine without a lecture. I get the picture, but what do you expect me to say? That I’m not heartbroken, that I wasn’t ever in love with you either?”

“Pretty much, yes.” Janus narrows their eyes at Remy. “You aren’t heartbroken, and you weren’t in love with me, correct?”

“I, uh—”

“You don’t have to lie, especially not after I told you the same was true for me.”

“Yeah, okay. I haven’t been in love with you, I just thought that you loved me and I didn’t want to hurt you by telling you the opposite was true.”

“Well, you can stop that now. And you can admit you’re in love with Logan.”

Remy freezes. “Sorry?”

“You’re in love with Logan.”

“I mean, I’m not going to tell you that you’re wrong, but how did you manage to figure that out?”

Janus fixes him with an incredulous look. “Are you serious?”

“…Yes?”

“Oh, Remy, darling, your crush was so obvious that I’m shocked the entire world didn’t see it.”

“It was?”

“Once I knew to look for it, very much so, yes. And you’re aware Logan loves you too, yes?”

“Mm, I’m pretty sure you’re wrong there.”

“And I’m pretty sure I’m not. What makes you think he doesn’t love you?”

“Well, he sorta kinda said that we shouldn’t ever speak to each other again? And like, he kissed me before that—or maybe I kissed him? And I know I was a bit pushy afterwards with confessions and all that, but I thought he was alright with me kissing him or with him kissing me and I’d been certain he was in love, but then he sort of freaked out, so I’m getting a few mixed messages. But at the same time, I think saying ‘we shouldn’t see each other for a while’ is a pretty clear rejection, don’t you?”

“I think that Logan’s a moron sometimes.”

“Hey!”

“Hush now, I meant that in the kindest way possible. He’s not very skilled at recognizing or dealing with his emotions, that’s all I’m saying.”

“Well, you aren’t wrong—”

“I know.”

“—but I’m still not sure if he meant it?”

“He didn’t, Remy. I can assure you of that.”

“How do you know, though?”

“Observation. That, and the fact that he tried to distance himself from you after your kiss. He didn’t want to hurt you.” Janus pauses in mock contemplation. “That, or he truly does hate you with his entire being and never wants to see you ever again in his entire life.”

“What?”

“I’m kidding, darling.”

“Why do I put up with you?”

“Because you love me,” Janus says, echoing Remy’s previous words back at him with a smirk on his face.

“Mm, right.” Remy goes silent for twenty whole seconds before speaking again. “But like, should I talk to him? Just in case, or something?”

“Well, I don’t think that’s entirely necessary, and Roman should be updating him on this whole situation as we speak, but if you think you should clarify, then I suppose you— hang on.” Janus frowns, pulling their phone from their pocket and answering it.

“Roman? Yes, I’m with Remy. Why do you ask?”

She goes quiet, listening to the voice on the other end of the line before replying, “Oh?”

They laugh lightly. “Anything for you, love.” A smile still on his face, he hangs up and puts his phone away.

“What was that about?”

“That? Nothing, darling, nothing at all. If you feel so inclined though, you might want to stop by wherever it was that you first met Logan.” Janus gives him a knowing smile. “Just a thought.”

“What if I choose not to?”

“Well, I can’t exactly make you go, but I think you’d regret it if you didn’t.”

“And that means…?”

“I’m afraid that’s Logan’s secret to tell, not mine,” they say, blinking innocently. “Now, unless you absolutely have to get coffee, I’d recommend you go find the love of your life. It’s getting dark, and I wouldn’t want you to lose your way.” She flutters her fingers in a wave, turning away. “Feel free to join me if you’d like, though.”

Even though they’d offered, she knew that Remy, of course, would never put anyone or anything before Logan and sure enough, when she turned back, Remy had already vanished around the corner.

_________________________

Everyone is made of stardust; each and every creation born of the remains of long-dead stars. This dust scattered across the universe at the dawn of time, forming galaxies and planets and stars—so very many stars—continuing to do so until the inevitable heat death of the universe, a constant cycle of creation.

If everyone comes from beauty, it only makes sense that they all contain it within themselves too, and it only makes sense that all creation is, in some way, magically, enchantingly interconnected. It also makes sense, then, that the stars—having come before nearly every other object in the known universe—understand these connections better than any other. Once those facts are taken into consideration, it’s no wonder at all that it is the stars that determine soulmates, and it’s the most widely accepted scientific theory as to why they do.

Logan knows all this about the stars, knows that everything that is and was is connected in impossible, unimaginable ways.

Remy knows this too, knows that things that come from beauty have every capacity to be beautiful themselves.

They both understand this, and yet it has taken them so long—so long—to apply that knowledge to themselves. It’s only as they walk alone upon tree-lined paths lit by twilight and look up at the sky, the first stars twinkling in their eyes, that they realize that if everyone and everything is beautifully connected, then they are too. And if they’re connected so beautifully, then what force in the universe could possibly keep them apart?

_________________________

“Do you think they’ll manage to work everything out?”

“Logan and Remy?”

“Mhm.”

Janus laughs, and it sounds like a fairy tale, like a golden bell forged from magic. “Contrary to popular belief, Logan is smart, so—”

Roman snorts, and it doesn’t sound like anything more than it is. It’s not poetic, it’s not the sort of thing to be lingered on in pretentious descriptions—it just is, and that’s why it’s perfect.

“Don’t laugh,” Janus says, laughing, “He is, albeit incredibly oblivious.”

“You can say that again.” It’s a muttered phrase, never one meant to be taken seriously, but Janus hadn’t ever claimed to play by the rules.

“He is, albeit incredibly oblivious,” they deadpan before continuing as though Roman hadn’t let out a laugh like light itself, shimmering so brightly that even in its softness, it couldn’t be missed. “But either way, I have no doubt that if you could come to your senses, they will too.”

Roman shoots up from his position lying across Janus’s lap. “What’s that supposed to mean?” His voice may sound offended, but the glimmer in his eyes betrays him.

“Oh, nothing at all, darling. I was merely implying that if Logan is oblivious, then we would need to invent an entirely new word to describe you.” Roman gasps, and Janus can see so many of her own mannerisms in the movement that her fond smile grows, could only ever grow around him. “I mean that in the best, most adoring way, of course.” His smile may have been replaced by a smirk then, but it doesn’t stay that way as not a moment later, Roman kisses it away.

“Of course you do,” he says, leaving behind another kiss—this one on Janus’s cheek—before adjusting his position. Now his head rests on Janus’s left shoulder, and he has much easier access to the line of their jaw and unfairly beautiful cheekbones (for kissing purposes, but also for admiration ones). “I know you love me.”

“Lies and slander,” Janus claims, but she’s burying her rapidly reddening face in Roman’s hair to breathe in the sunshine and cinnamon, so her words hold little weight.

Roman only laughs again, and this time Janus can feel the way the time pauses for the briefest of moments as their boyfriend blankets the world with his own form of magic, with a laugh that feels like fairy dust.

When the world resumes its usual rotation, Roman is smiling at him again. “I know you love me,” he repeats.

“I love you,” Janus agrees, voice softer and more honest than it’s ever been. Roman melts into him, humming contentedly as his face turns upwards, eyelashes fluttering in a silent request. And how could Janus possibly say no when her boyfriend has eyes burning with such light?

Janus kisses Roman, and the sky blazes with sunshine and fire. They meet, and they are a kilonova, showering the universe in gold. They aren’t soulmates, and they aren’t quite in love, but they are everything to each other and more and somehow, some way, they are perfect. So perhaps it’s fitting, then, that they aren’t soulmates. A word such as that couldn’t possibly define all that they are.

They both know intrinsically that there is no such thing as perfection, that it’s human to be imperfect. They know that some cycles are forever fixed and that somethings are meant to end.

So even though they know this and even though they may not be soulmates and even though they are aware that it is because of the stars that they met and because of the stars that they’re together, Janus and Roman will still never go gently into darkness, into the night. Just because they understand that perfection is an impossibility does not mean that they will not fight for something as near to it as they can get in every waking moment.

And as they rage against the dying of the light, the golden star that illuminates the world fights too, and it rises once more. Bathed in its glow, Janus and Roman are both unwaveringly confident in the fact that this moment, this sunrise, this picture-perfect kiss is… perfect. They know without a shadow of a doubt that no matter how unlikely, how impossible, they are perfect.

_________________________

“It’s been a while since we were here,” Remy muses, cresting the top of the hill, smiling when Logan comes into view. “I’m glad to be back.”

“Me too,” Logan says, returning his smile, so close to appearing calm, to hiding his nerves. “Why don’t you sit down?”

“Anything for you.” Remy’s words were meant to sound cheeky, but they come out genuine in a way Logan can’t even begin to process.

Logan takes a breath when Remy is seated in front of him. “I have an apology to make.”

“Oh?” Remy cocks his head curiously. “Hun, if anyone should be apologizing, it’s me. I was the one who overstepped my boundaries when I shouldn’t have and kept pushing for a confession of what I thought was the truth even after you denied it so vehemently and I—”

“Remy,” Logan sighs, “you have no reason to be sorry, I assure you.”

“I— what?”

Logan takes a breath, steeling himself. “Remy, I know I hurt you when I walked off the way I did and ceased all communication with you. And I— I also lied to you that night because I was… scared. I was scared to admit what I felt because I was scared that it would hurt someone else I care about, so I denied that I— Uh, that is to say, I denied what you said. I know that’s no excuse for not telling you the truth, but I hope you can forgive me nevertheless. I’m truly sorry for hurting you, Remy.

“And I— I love you. Hurting you broke my heart, and I never want to feel like that again.” Logan clears his throat, trying to continue speaking past the emotion beginning to clog it. “In any case though, even though we aren’t star-determined soulmates, if you’ll accept me, I’d still like you to be my boyfriend, and I yours. Because if I’m being perfectly honest, no matter what kind of relationship they dictate, the stars don’t matter, not really, because I choose you. I have always chosen you.”

Remy sits there for a moment, star-struck and silent. At long last, he finds his voice returned to him. It’s breathy and barely audible, but it’s there without a doubt because Logan knows—he knows—he hears Remy ask, “Can I kiss you?”

That isn’t, after all, the sort of request you would miss for anything less than the world.

And Logan knows—he knows—he’s been gifted the most beautiful thing in existence when he replies, “For the light of my life? Anything,” and Remy leans closer and he knows—he knows—that everything in the universe is right when they collide.

Together, they are stars. And like stars, they glow brighter together, side by side before they meet and emit a light so brilliant it could be seen across galaxies. Like stars, they collide and fall into each other and become one. Like stars, once they’ve touched they steal the light from the air around them to aid their luminance, and they shine and they glimmer and they gleam and they don’t want to ever let go.

And yet, they are more radiant than the most brilliant constellations, than quasars, than every star in the sky combined—so radiant that whole galaxies pale in comparison. Logan and Remy are stars, but they are also so much more.

They are human.

They are human, and that’s why the stars look upon them with such favor. They are human and imperfect, they are human and ablaze with more dazzling, glittering, intense light than even the stars themselves could possibly fathom, they are human and they are in love.

They are human, and as they kiss beneath the clear, bright sky, they realize that this—whatever this may be—is right. Logan and Remy are not soulmates, but the stars don’t make mistakes. Logan and Remy are not soulmates, but they were meant to find each other. Their kiss was meant to happen.

Logan and Remy are not soulmates. No, Logan and Remy are something ineffable, something human, something more, and if that means the stars painted their destiny in a different hue, then they are glad they can see all the colors of the sky.

_________________________

It is said that nothing so beautiful lasts forever, that nothing so bright survives for long. It is said that even the night—the mystical, magical night, a time so shrouded in mystery—must fade, along with any secrets it holds. It is said that every beautiful thing must die.

It is said that there is no such thing as perfection, that not a single person could ever be considered flawless. It is said that even the day—the glorious, golden day, a time so saturated with majesty—has its faults, its radiance paled by the stars of night. It is said that everything beautiful must die.

And it is true that beauty never lasts, but it isn’t meant to. Beauty so often exists because of uncertainty, because of the flighty nature of life. Everything beautiful must die, and that is why these beautiful moments are as beloved as they are. That is why Remy and Logan look at each other like they’re stars, why Roman and Janus allow themselves to be imperfect, why Remy allows himself to be vulnerable, why Logan admits that he’s not always right, why Roman stops putting on his never-ending show, why Janus allows themself to be truly honest, and why all of them will treasure each precious second from now until the end of time.

_________________________

find other stuff i’ve written under #writings from the stars

[soysaucevictim]

Week 3. I’m... struggling.

-

May 1

I tried to get some sleep in after the all-nighter a bit before 9AM... “got up” around 3PM. This to mean I lied down and didn’t really get any proper sleep, because mind was racing about that project.

But resting was still okay. After I got back up and updated some logs, I did today’s exercise...

First, today’s DD. 50 squats with EC. Manageable, moderately aerobic work. One of the last things I did before things went pear-shaped...

I shortly after found out I lost a family member and I saw what happened. I’m not going to describe it here, for many reasons. But I’ve been dealing with the images and emotional pain since... I probably will in some fashion, for a long time.

Last, Day 13 of BREATH. “Feel“. Yoga was emotionally uncomfortable as hell... but I brought myself to the mat accepting that I was going in feeling extremely tender in that dept. Let’s just say there were some waterworks and a very real sense of survivor’s guilt. That’s all I’m going to say there.

I tried to deal with things with chatting and discretionary venting on Twitter...

I forced myself through another all-nighter to finish that sewing project. Fought against images and waves of intense emotions to keep going. I don’t think I would’ve succeeded at sleeping through the night anyways.

-

May 2

I tried to sleep again round 8AM - it was more just physical rest till like 10AM. Too restless.

Touched base on what happened with a family member. They were... all of us were... are distraught.

I had a more successful attempt at sleeping for a couple hours after that. Honestly, painful. But it was mutually beneficial and necessary. Probably made the nap easier.

Shortly after, I endeavored to get some working out done.

First, today’s DD. 50 climber taps with EC. Ngl, it took a little psyching myself up to get down and do this. As expected, really started feeling the abs in the last 10-20 reps.

Second, Day 14 of BREATH. “Space“. This was less emotionally fraught - even though there were moments wrapping up that I had twangs of sorrow. It’s too soon to let everything I’m going to need to go... but I imagine, there will be in the future. Too raw and in pain to manage that yet. I did like the back arch balance stands and toe stand moments, the most.

Last, Day 13 of 1′HIIT. Level 3, 1′ rest. Had phone on floor because it was all planks. My climbers ran at more of a jog than a sprint - but then again energy levels wasn’t up to that. The last 2 sets in particular that were the hardest.

Made dinner, did some dishes, chatted and started on that vent art of Virgil to help process things a little. I basically pulled another all-nighter.

-

May 3

I decided to let care team know about what happened with a local crisis unit/line, before trying to get some sleep.

I woke up proper around 3PM, I think this was modestly more restful.

After some of the usual... was both somewhat relieved and distressed when one of the family member’s friends called his phone. We were able to let his circle know what happened.

I then got to some exercise again.

First, today’s DD. 1′ elbow clicks with EC. I counted 74 reps by the end of the duration. Manageable and simple.

Second, Day 15 of BREATH. “Enter“. Despite walking into this having eaten a lot of wasabi peas - I  elected to do full planks and kept back knee raised for high lunge variations upon Adriene’s invitation to. It was nice getting into a sort of flow - gathering what we were going to do next before Adriene instructed a few times.

Last, Day 14 of 1′HIIT. Level 3, 1′ rest. The squat hops were honestly the brutal part, today. Was tempted to not shoot for Level 3, but decided to anyways. Just glad I completed it, today.

Did some of the usual, made some dinner, and finished up that drawing.

I stayed up obscenely late, but not another all-nighter.

-

May 4

I woke up around 11AM.

Touched base with therapist on the phone. Made a mortuary appointment and asked family to help get me (and Dad) to that appointment later in the week.

Hit the showers, met some more family in person.

Did some of the usual before deciding to add, sort, and transfer the contents of my Anxiety Box into Virgil’s jar. I also decided to start filling the Patton jar with some things I was grateful for. I think this was helpful.

I dusted off Facebook for the first time in like years. Saw that his friends have been pouring condolences onto his page. I was pretty disconnected from his circle of friends... wound up adding many of the ones I recognized hearing about. This was a painful straddle between gratefulness and sorrow.

Had to field another call on his phone. That hurt too. I kind of wished I could unlock it.

I then got going on my workouts, pretty late...

First, today’s DD. 1′ raised leg circles with EC (supine). I counted a total of 45 reps, reversing the direction at the 30″ mark. Doable despite needing to hold head up.

Second, Day 16 of BREATH. “Discipline“. This was an extremely chill day - focusing on extending and slowing down the breaths... definitely well-timed given how tiring/harrowing today has been.

Last, Day 15 of 1′HIIT. Level 3, 1′ rest. Just arm work, I’d say these days are amongst the easiest to get through. Again, good for energy levels.

I wound up in bed around the same time as yesterday.

-

May 5

I woke up around 11AM again.

I went to Seeking Safety Group again. I wanted and needed to be there. That’s all I’m going to say on that one.

Got home, almost dozing off. But spent all day and night hanging out with a local friend.

I did some dishes and made one of the Hello Fresh Meal. Creamy pesto grillng cheese ciabattas. Me and friend really enjoyed this one.

Among many things - I think sharing DWIT and the first half of “The Poisoner’s Handbook“ were some of the highlights.

We wound up talking the night away, despite it not being the best idea.

Oh well, the bed was made at that point.

-

May 6

So one of the first things I had to deal with was a morning dental appointment. It was a nice appointment, talked about things with discretion. I’m hoping it may get a tiny bit easier to talk about for it. (Obviously NOT oversharing to anyone and everyone.)

Grabbed some Starbucks and had to get frustrated with LogistiCare, in activating my return trip home. I was honestly getting close to collapse of exhaustion by the time it got to me. (Not going to blame anyone really... it was unfortunate for how bone tired I was.)

Got home and took a short nap, before the mortuary appointment.

I kind of didn’t want to - but after that, I was roped into seeing extended family. It  was nice but also further exhausting. But I will say that a highlight was being able to share with my great uncle a series about the Spanish Flu. He likes history stuff and learned a lot of new things about that situation - also was nice tying it in with his interest in stuff like the WW. (Also glad and was struck by all the observed parallels with, uh, what’s been happening with COVID. But I’ll leave it at that.)

Medical history and the like was a welcome distraction. Especially the fact that that great uncle was an interested party to share it to.

Got home again and spent some of the night on the usual and decided that I was only up for catching up on my DDs...

First, yesterday’s DD. 40 side bridges with EC. It was questionable, given sheer level of exhaustion. But I felt like catching up on SOME of my regimen anyways..

Last, today’s DD. 40 windshield with EC. Same thoughts about previous exercise.

Updated some logs and stuff before hitting the sack. In the green zone for once, yet again. I was just so profoundly exhausted at that point.

-

May 7

I woke up around 11AM.

One the first things I wound up doing was fielding a lot of phone calls to get other appointment-related affairs handled.

Spent some time on the usual and sketching an art idea out that I’m not sure I’ll flesh out just yet. It’s kind of detail-intensive.

Then, I decided to catch up on my exercise regimen.

First, today’s DD. 2′ bicep extensions with EC. I counted 155 reps by the end of it. Biceps felt pretty tired after that one, at that pace. But very doable.

(After watching some YouTube and whatnot...)

Second, Day 17 of BREATH. “Explore“. Man, was this intense on my quads for my energy levels today. But I tried my best to get through it as best as possible. I think the chair poses were especially intense.

Third, Day 18 of BREATH. “Center“. This was alright. I liked the calf raise hold stuff and a lot more of the chill stuff today. Warriors were okay. Still have a ways to go to pull off Crow Pose, but that is a challenging one, for sure.

(After a lot of usual stuff...)

Fourth, Day 16 of 1′HIIT. Level 3, 1′ rest. Intense, but I enjoyed the fact this was mostly jumping jacks. Think the twist jacks were the weirdest part. Got fairly winded by the end.

(After making/eating some dinner and watching some videos for that to settle...)

Last, Day 17 of 1′HIIT.Level 3, 1′ rest. A bit more strength-oriented leg work - what with the leg raises and lunges. Glad I didn’t have to worry too much about doing this in a semi-full stomach (butt kicks do some jostling but generally not as much as like high knees).

I spent some time watching/listening to videos and updating some logs after this.

I got to bed pretty late in the red again... but not an all-nighter.

[completelyuncreative2]

I don’t want the Moon

Dan has graduated from NYU and needs to find a place to live in New York with very little money. Cue a cute coffee shop barista who happens to have exactly what Dan needs. This was written for the Phandom Reverse Bang. Thank you to my amazing beta, Tasha @yourfreindlyblogstalker. Check out the artwork by @candanandphilnot here.

Read on AO3

Dan walked into a coffee shop he had never heard of before. He normally went to Starbucks, but a friend had recommended this place. So, Dan figured he would try it. He looked around. The place looked like all the pretentious coffee shops he saw on instagram, he didn’t know what else he expected, most of his friends were pretentious. That’s what he gets for being a drama major at one of the most prestigious arts universities in the world, NYU. Dan walked up to the man behind the counter. He was about Dan’s height with pale skin and jet black hair.

“What would you like?” the man asked.

“Black coffee,” Dan said.

The man raised an eyebrow, obviously surprised by the simple order. Dan figured this was probably the kind of place where people ordered their coffee down to the degree it should be served. “Coming right up,” he said.

Dan sat down at a table toward the back and took out his phone. It was late afternoon, so there weren’t many people there. According to the sign posted in the window, the place was closing in about fifteen minutes.

The man gave Dan his coffee in a to-go cup, then he started cleaning the store.

“I can go, if I’m in the way,” Dan said.

“It’s alright. It’s nice having company. No one usually comes in at this time.”

Dan nodded, and the man continued wiping down the counters and tables then started singing along to the music playing on the radio. Dan tried to hold back the laugh trying to escape from his throat, but he couldn’t. 

The man snapped back to reality. “Sorry,” he said. 

Dan noticed that a blush had spread across the man’s face. “Don’t be.”

“Like I said, people usually aren’t here now.”

“So, you forgot I was here.”

“Not possible.”

Dan raised his eyebrows at the man, and the man must have just processed what he had said.

“I should probably go,” Dan said, starting to stand up, “Let you get back to work.”

“You don’t have to.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

Dan sat back down. Another song came on. Dan recognized it, Time is Running Out by Muse, and started bopping along to it.

“You like this song?” the man asked.

“Yeah, Muse is one of my favorite bands.”

“Mine too. My name is Phil, by the way.”

“Dan.”

“Nice to meet you Dan.” Phil was just about done cleaning the store. He still needed to wipe down the table Dan was sitting at, and probably mop the floor, but he couldn’t do either of those things while Dan was still there.

“Nice to meet you too. I’m going to go now and let you finish closing.”

Phil looked disappointed. “Maybe I’ll see you again.”

Dan nodded. He didn’t want to commit to anything. This wasn’t really his kind of place, but he did want to see Phil again. Dan left the coffee shop and headed back to his apartment.

His apartment was actually his parents’ apartment. Although it may as well have been his, since his parents were rarely there. Except for today. When Dan walked through the door, he saw both of them at the kitchen table, and his mother must have cooked because there was pot roast on the stove and three plates on the table.

“Hi,” Dan said.

“Hello,” his Dad said.

“Is everything alright?”

“Everything is fine,” his mom said, “sit down, Daniel. We need to have a chat.”

Dan sat.

“Daniel,” his dad said, “your mother and I have been talking, and we think it’s time for you to start looking for your own place.”

“What?”

“Well, you’ve finished university now. You’re an adult. You can’t live with us forever.”

“I know, but where am I supposed to go? I can’t afford to live on my own.”

“You have some money saved, you’re working, and your dad and I can help out a little at least for a month or two,” his mom continues.

Dan didn’t know what to say, not that it mattered, he realized the conversation was over when his mother got up and started serving dinner.

After dinner, Dan went up to his room and spent the better part of the night on the computer looking up apartments online. None of them were in his price range.

The next morning, well, afternoon, Dan found himself in front of Phil’s coffee shop. That wasn’t the name of it, but it’s how Dan had started thinking of it. 

The coffee shop was relatively empty. There were a few people as far away from the door as possible. Dan thought they must be aspiring screenwriters because their heads were buried in their laptops. He walked up to the counter and was about to order a black coffee, when Phil asked him what was wrong. Dan was trying to hide how upset he was. He used to think he was good at hiding his emotions, but obviously he wasn’t since this practically stranger could see through him. Dan was about to say “nothing,” but he ended up blabbing to Phil about the entire conversation he and his parents had the night before. Phil listened patiently. 

After Dan had finished, Phil said, “Do you want to come over? My shift is over. I have to wait for my cover to get here, but once she does we can go.” Against Dan’s better judgment, he agreed. A smile spread across Phil’s face, “Great.” 

Right on cue, a girl walked up behind Phil. She had clearly come from the staff entrance. Phil greeted the girl, then said “I’m just going to make something and then I’ll get out of your way.” The girl nodded. Dan stood off to the side near the door while he waited for Phil. A few minutes later, Phil came out from behind the counter. He had taken his apron off and he was holding two to-go cups. He held one out to Dan. “Caramel Macchiato. On me.”

“Thanks,” Dan said. Phil nodded and then they left.

When Dan and Phil got to Phil’s apartment, Dan couldn’t believe it. Phil lived in a two-bedroom apartment on the upper west side. Just the living room was at least the size of his parents’ whole apartment. “Make yourself at home,” Phil said. Dan sat on the couch and noticed Phil’s entertainment system. He had a wall-mounted, flat-screen TV along with several video game consoles on the table underneath, and stacks of video games on either side.

“I never want to leave this place,” Dan joked.

“You don’t have to.” Phil said, sitting down next to him. He wasn’t joking.

“What?” Dan said.

“Stay here. With me.”

“I can’t afford this place.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“What do you mean don’t worry about it? I can’t just stay here and not pay rent.”

“I don’t pay rent here either. My parents bought it for me.”

“So, I can just stay here? For free?”

“If you want to.”

“Of course I want to, but…”

“But…”

“Well, what’s in it for you?”

“What would be in it for me?”

“I don’t know, but you don’t pay rent, so you don’t want a roommate for money. So, why do you?”

Phil took a deep breath. “Company.” The simple answer caught Dan off guard. Phil continued, “I never had a real friend before, at least not since I was a kid. I was getting to the point where I was about to put an ad up on Craigslist.” Despite his best efforts, Dan couldn’t hold back the chuckle that escaped from his throat. Phil rolled his eyes. “Anyway, when you came into the shop, I really wanted to be friends with you, but I could tell it wasn’t your kind of place…”

“How?”

“I could tell you were hesitant when I asked if I would see you again. So, when I saw you today, I didn’t want to lose the chance again.”

Dan took all of this in. “But, why me? We don’t even know each other.”

“I’d like to think I’m a good judge of character, and I know we have the same tastes in music and coffee. Which are the only two things I really care about.”

Dan laughed. “And video games.”

“Do you want to play?”

“Always.”

“What game?”

Dan ran his eyes over Phil’s collection. “Mario Kart.”

Phil set it up, and they spent the rest of the afternoon playing. Dan won more often than not. Around 8pm, Dan said he should probably get going.

“When will I see you again?”

“Are you working tomorrow?” Phil shook his head. “So, when can I move in?”

Phil’s face lit up. “Seriously? You want to?”

“Yeah. I mean I need to let my parents know first, but since they want me to move out anyway, I don’t think it will be an issue.”

Phil jumped up and hugged him, nearly toppling both of them over. Dan grabbed onto Phil’s shoulders to steady himself. “I’ll see you soon.” He was about to walk out the door when Phil stopped him. “What?”

“We don’t have each other’s numbers.” Dan took out his phone and handed it to Phil. Phil put his number in Dan’s phone. “Text me, so I have yours as well.”

Dan nodded and texted Phil. Phil’s phone buzzed. “I’ll see you soon,” Dan said. Then he left.

When Dan got home, his parents were watching TV in the living room. “Hi,” he called.

“Hello,” his mom said.

“How’s apartment hunting going?” his dad asked.

“Good, I think I found a place.”

“Really?”

“Yeah”

“Where?”

“Upper West Side”

Dan’s parents looked at each other. “Who’s paying for that?” Mr. Howell asked.

“A friend.”

“Since when do you have friends who live on the upper west side?”

“Since when do you know any of my friends?” Dan shot back.

“Daniel! Show some respect.”

“Can’t handle the truth? You haven’t given a shit about me for as long as I can remember. As soon as I was able to take care of myself, you expected me to be an adult.

“That’s not true, Dan.” his mom said.

“Really? So, why did I have to get a job when I was fourteen? Why have I always been home alone after school since I was seven? Why are you insisting that I move out of a place that you’re hardly ever in?” When Dan finished, he ran up to his room and slammed the door, leaving his parents in the living room dumbfounded. He knew he was being childish, but he also knew that if he kept going, he was going to cry, and he was not about to give his father the satisfaction of seeing that. When Dan regained his composure, he texted Phil.

Dan: Can I move in tomorrow?

Phil: Sure, but are you going to be able to pack everything by then?

Dan: Do you want to help? ;)

Phil: Of course! What time?

Dan: 11

That was enough time that he would be awake and his parents wouldn’t be home.

Phil: See you then :)

Dan smiled to himself and texted Phil his address.

The next morning, Dan woke up to an empty house as expected. His parents typically left for work around 7, and it was already 10. Dan got up and got himself some breakfast before brushing his teeth and taking a shower. By the time he was done it was a quarter to 11. Phil would be there any minute. At five to 11, Dan heard a knock at the door. He opened it and saw Phil standing on the other side. He was holding a bunch of flat cardboard boxes.

“Hi,” Phil said.

“Hi,” Dan said, stepping back so Phil could walk through. “You brought your own boxes?”

“I figured you didn’t have since this was so last minute.”

Dan felt his face heat up. He couldn’t believe how well Phil knew him already.

Phil looked around the apartment, and Dan was suddenly conscious about how small the apartment was compared to Phil’s. “Do you want anything? Coffee? Water?”

“I’m fine, thanks. Should we get started?”

“Yeah, let’s go.” Dan said, heading towards his bedroom. It only took them a couple of hours to pack everything. Dan didn’t have that much stuff, and he figured he could leave his video games since Phil had all the same ones and more. Dan had gotten a couple of suitcases and threw his clothes and sheets in them. They had packed everything in Phil’s car and were standing on the sidewalk in front of Phil’s car. Dan was seriously considering just leaving and not telling his parents, but then Phil asked if his parents knew he was leaving. Dan considered lying and saying yes, but he knew Phil would be able to see right through him. He shook his head.

“Dan! You have to tell them!”

“Why? It will probably take them at least a week to even notice I’m gone.”

“That can’t be true.”

“It is.”

“Dan. Tell them.”

“Fine.” Dan pulled out his phone and texted his parents that he was moving out. He wanted to send a snarky comment along with it, but he knew Phil was reading the text over his shoulder. “Sent.” Dan said. Phil nodded, and they got in his car and drove to his apartment.

After only a few days, Phil’s apartment, well now his apartment, felt more like home then his parents’ place ever did to him. Especially since Dan didn’t have to worry about rent. He spent some of his time searching for auditions, usually when Phil was working at the coffee shop. The rest of the time he just ate, slept, and played video games. It was exactly how he thought adult life would be when he was a child. He never expected it to actually happen though. Phil got home from the coffee shop a few hours later. He was holding a box. “What’s that?” Dan asked.

“A present.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“Yes I do.”

Dan opened the box and saw a Cartier watch. “Phil, I can’t accept this.”

“Of course you can.”

“Why would you do this for me?”

Instead of answering, Phil leaned in and kissed Dan. The kiss caught Dan off guard at first, but after a few seconds, he was kissing Phil back. “That’s why”

“Phil! You don’t have to buy me expensive watches for me to kiss you!”

“I want to.”

A smile spread across Dan’s face. “Come here.” Phil was already right in front of him, so he took a step closer to Dan. Dan kissed Phil harder than before.

“Wow,” Phil said after Dan had pulled away.

“You don’t need to buy me anything for me to kiss you.”

“Ok.”

“What’s wrong?”

Phil sighed. “It’s just that with every relationship I’ve been in, the person always expected stuff, you know? Someone finds out that money is no object and then they expect you to buy them the moon.”

“I don’t want the moon, Phil. Just you. I love you.”

“I love you too.”