#stand up comedy tour soon

[casannibal]

if pelle wasn't swedish he would be

pelle-pino

[readyforevolution]

Bernie Mac, born Bernard Jeffrey McCullough, was a true gem in the world of comedy. Born and raised in Chicago, he had a tough upbringing, but he used those experiences to fuel his humor. His comedy was raw, real, and relatable. He had a unique style of comedy that was both edgy and warm-hearted, a combo that's pretty hard to pull off!

He started his career doing stand-up in Chicago's clubs before making it big in HBO's "Def Comedy Jam." His iconic "I ain't scared of you..." line is still quoted today. Bernie's humor was fearless, he wasn't afraid to push boundaries and speak his mind, which is part of what made him so special.

His success in stand-up led him to Hollywood. He was part of the "Original Kings of Comedy," a stand-up tour and film that also featured Steve Harvey, D.L. Hughley, and Cedric the Entertainer. Bernie also had a successful career in film and television. His role in "The Bernie Mac Show" was beloved by many, and he showed his range with roles in films like "Ocean's Eleven."

But what I think made Bernie Mac truly special was his heart. He was known to be incredibly kind and generous off the stage. He used his success to give back to his community and help others. His legacy in comedy is undeniable, but his impact extends beyond just making people laugh.

Bernie Mac left us too soon, but his humor and spirit live on. His ability to make people laugh, his fearlessness on stage, and his big heart are all part of what made him a legend.

[scotianostra]

Thomas Sean Connery was born in the Fountainbridge area of Edinburgh on 25th August, 1930.

Big Tam, as he was affectionately known around Fountainbridge in his youth, well he was Tommy until his teens, when he shot up in height and stature, at one point he entered a bodybuilding contest, he was 6'2″ at the time, weighed around 14 stone, had a 48-inch chest, 25-inch thigh, and his arms were 15.25 inches.

His first job was as a milkman with the St Cuthbert’s Co-Operative Society in Edinburgh. I would think he would have delivered the milk on a horse drawn carriage, the stables for these horses was in the are he grew up, were in Grove Street, where I used to live the main offices for St Cuthbert’s still stands round the corner on Fountainbridge.

Connery also played football at junior level for Bonnyrigg Rose, my cousin played for them too for several years.

A few more facts about Sean are he has a tattoo on his arm that state “Scotland Forever” he got when he enrolled in the Merchant Navy, he was discharged from that job due to stomach ulcers, between jobs he was a nude model for art students at Edinburgh College of art, again not to far from Fountainbridge. Other jobs he took up were, a lorry driver, a lifeguard at Portobello swimming baths,a labourer and a coffin polisher!

I think it is interesting Connery never strayed far from Fountainbridge in his younger days, indeed when he decided that acting was a career he was going to pursue, it was the nearby Kings Theatre he got a job helping backstage, he was also competing in bodybuilding competitions at this time and while at an event in London he learned that there were auditions being held for South Pacific, he was picked to appear on the chorus line but as the production toured the country he was making his way up the ladder.

By the time it hit Edinburgh he had the part of Marine Cpl Hamilton Steeves and was understudying two of the juvenile leads, and his salary was raised from £12 to £14–10s a week, when the production was reprised the following year he had the lead role on the tour, taking over from the actor Larry Hagman, who played the part in London’s West End.

Connery never looked back from there and of course the role of James Bond catapulted him to international stardom, Ian Fleming though was against him getting the part initially, he said Sean was “unrefined” and not what he had in mind, Sean soon won him over though and Fleming later admitted he was an “ideal” Bond.

A few of the parts Sean either didn’t get or turned down are Gandalf, in the Lord of the Rings series of films, he said he never understood the books and also wasn’t keen on 18 months of filming in New Zealand. He also turned down the chance to play the role of the Architect in The Matrix Reloaded and The Matrix Revolutions. Sean was asked to portray King Edward I in Braveheart, but was too busy working on Another film at the time, Patrick McGoohan took the role instead, I’m sort of glad he never played Longshanks.

His 93rd and last film was 2003’s The League of Extraordinary Gentleman - although he officially retired in 2006, although he was temporarily tempted back to do the voice of Sir Billi in the animated adventure comedy of the same name.

Sir Sean Connery passed away in his sleep on 31st October 2020 at his home in the Bahamas, his son said he had been unwell for some time. The official cause of death was pneumonia, heart failure and old age, his death certificate revealed.

In a career spanning over 50 years, Connery earned an Academy Award, multiple Golden Globes, including the Cecil B. DeMille and Henrietta Awards, as well as two British Academy Film Awards (BAFTA) awards.

I've posted more pics than I normally would, firstly to show that Sean was much more than the first Bond, but also because the Scottish public, had and still have a big connection and love for the big guy.

Sean Connery 25th August 1930 – 31st October 2020.

[cazzyf1]

Some of my favourite quotes from David Benson's 'Hunt v Lauda'

'He was nursing a toy yellow-eyed gorilla which made alarming noises and clapped a pair of cymbals attached to its hand.

"Whats with the gorilla?"

James looked tired. "It's called smiler. Alistair and Teddy gave it to me to celebrate my championship."

Teddy smiled benignly: "The gorilla was not very popular in first-class lounge I'm afraid."

"No," said James, "and they wouldn't let me blow my whistle either." He produced a police whistle and blew it.' - p7

"When we boarded the plane, he (James Hunt) insisted on joining mechanics in touring class until the lights were turned down for passengers to sleep." - p8

"Niki had always wanted to marry Mariella but she had refused to do so until he had become world champion." - p21

"The unsuspecting young actress Marlene Knaus was going to endure a trial that few women, even with a tremendously experienced and well-founded background, could have endured." - p21

"I telephoned James Hunt in Johannesburg where he is preparing for the South African Grand Prix. He told me, "I have been in daily contact with Susy and am fully informed about what is going on. I wouldn't stop her getting a divorce. I am trying to help her as much as I can so that she makes the right decisions. Obviously if she wanted to come back to me, I would help her do that." - p40

"I walked out of the dinning-room to an annexe alongside it, and sitting in the corner with a lady I didn't know was Niki Lauda; he smiled and asked a Carol and me to join him for a cup of coffee. He introduced the girl alongside him very simply, "This is my lady," She was, of course, Marlene Knaus, a very beautiful girl, with her hair in a rather severe style, brushed back, and a bun on the top of her head. We had a long chat about seat belts - both were empathetically in favour (that evening the house of commons in the UK were debating on making seatbelts in cars compulsory) - but the important thing was that I established a friendly relationship with Marlene when other people on the racing circuit cold-shouldered her, thinking she was merely some local pick-up. In fact, she and Niki were planning to get married as soon as they flew back from South Africa." - p44

"The main topic of conversation was the break-up of the long relationship between Niki Lauda and Mariella. Helen (Stewart) offered, with the best possible intentions, to get in touch with both Mariella and Niki is necessary to heal the breach. Having seen how close Niki and Marlene were in South Africa, I doubted if this were possible. As it turned out, a day after we had our discussion in Nina's home, Niki went quietly to a register office near Vienna and married Marlene." - p47

"He tried awfully hard not to hurt me." - (Susy about James) - p58

"James was standing right alongside me. Tears welling in his eyes. "It's stupid," he said, "It does not affect the performance of the car or make it any faster. Not even the Ferrari team protested and they were the ones who have the most to win..." - p62

"It was in triumph, therefore, that Hunt, six weeks before his 29th birthday, left for Britain in preparation for the John Player Grand Prix at Brands Hatch. With good humour and in high spirits, he took part in an event before the race and revealed another facet in his talents. It was at the Albert Hall at the Grand Prix Night of the Stars, a concert in aid of the Graham Hill Memorial Fund. The hall was packed with evening-suited celebrities who had paid up to £500 for a private box. Hunt was introduced by astronomer Patrick Moore who had just done a soft-shoe shuffle. Suddenly, Moore reached for a trumpet left behind on the bandstand by Chris Barber, who had done an earlier turn. "You're supposed to be good at blowing your own trumpet," he said, "so try this one." The audience dutifully laughed expecting a knockabout comedy turn. But Hunt took the trumpet, the studio band started to play and Hunt's clear, clean notes echoed through the vast auditorium. It was a memorable moment. When the audience realised that Hunt was playing for real, they roared their approval and then sat in silence as James plaved like a professional. Hunt's brother, Peter told me later: "I had a hell of a job convincing the BBC, who were recording the show, that James really was a good enough trumpet player to perform on TV. He learned to play at about 12 or 13 when he was at Wellington. He was in the school orchestra and the school band and played solo at concerts. Stuart Turner, Public Affairs Director of Ford of Britain, had a box at the Albert Hall. He turned to me after Hunt had finished his solo and said: "Now I have seen everything: James Hunt playing the trumpet at the Albert Hall we'll have Niki Lauda doing a comedy act next." - p73-4

"Niki himself, having almost killed himself in a first-lap accident there in 1974, has always campaigned against the Nurenburgring. He argued that the 1976 German Grand Prix should be switched to the Hockenheim Ring, a purpose-built circuit with outstanding safety facilities installed after the death there of Jim Clark in 1968. But Lauda was reviled by the Germans for his attempt. In practise at Nürburgring spectators displayed a huge poster of Lauda and his car. Across it was written, 'Lauda 20 kilometres per hour. Aus.' Ring bystanders are hard on anyone threatening the thrill of the race." - p80

"Sunday's race day was altogether depressing from the start. The young American driver Brett Lunger had heard the night before that his father had died unexpectedly in the United States and Brett decided to stay and go on with the race before returning home. It was to be a vital decision in the saving of Niki Lauda's life." - p81

"Jackie had a remarkable story to tell that Niki's agents had telephoned him soon after the crash and asked him to appear at a promotion for a new line of jeans which were being marketed in Niki's name. Jackie refused, saying he would only appear with Niki's permission. Niki was telephoned and they were told that he was determined to be there himself." - p86-7

"What would the situation be if Niki was fit to drive and Ferrari still wouldn't come to the track?" I asked Alastair, without hesitation he replied: "We will lend him a car so he and James can fight it out." - p89

"Then Niki arrived in his Jaguar with Marlene and Willi Dungl, his masseur/confidant, the man responsible for building Niki up physically in preparation for the race. There was a last-minute panic when it was discovered that Dungl had left his passport back at the house but he had an identity card and Niki knew that with Ferrari influence we would have no trouble getting Willi into Italy. Niki insisted on carrying out all the check-out procedures himself and we made a beautiful take off from Salzburg Airport." - p95

"At one point I was asked if I wanted to see a priest. So I said: "OK." He came in, and gave me my last rites - crossed my shoulder - and said "Goodbye My friend". I nearly had a heart attack! I wanted someone to help me live in this world, and not pass into the next." - p98

"I was watching his wife Marlene's eyes as she protectively, solicitously, studied her husband. She seemed almost proud of his scarred features." - p101

"A beautiful elegant grey/green-eyed young woman by the name of Marlene Knaus enjoyed life of a promising screen actress and model. A member of one of the most respected families in Austria she fitted easily into the jet set world of show business. She moved easily too in the rarefield world of medicine in which her grandfather was a renowned gynaecologist and in the artistic circles into which she was born as the daughter of a famous painter." - p101

"I used to smoke maybe one or two cigarettes a day, but from the time of the accident I have become a chain smoker. I know that this is not good for my health but it helps me through the crisis." Niki does not smoke and he says that this fact helped him recover from his lung injuries, but he does not reprove Marlene for smoking." - p102

"Marlene is a delightfully warm person. Her handshake is firm. Her eyes are steady and constant. They are the eyes of a woman who could inspire a man to great things, and she likes to touch the person that she is talking to. She looks at her husbands scarred face and gently strokes it." - p103

"Hunt, who had trotted through the driving rain along the length of the pits to salute the supreme courage of his world title rival Niki Lauda." - p104

"I just wish there bad been no accident, no disqualifications, no aggrevation, and Niki and I were fighting it out fair and square on the track. After what Niki has achieved, he deserves that at least. What Ferrari have done is to devalue the world championship and to cloud Niki's brave recovery. His recovery is absolutely amazing and he really is fit again." - p125

"His wife Marlene was happy with his decision. She had said earlier; "When he got into the car and drove away, I wanted to throw myself in front of it and stop him." - p140

"All Hunt knew was that he had to pass everything in sight. It took him two laps to catch and pass Alan Jones in the Surtees. Now he was fourth. Almost on the same bend he came upon Regazzoni in the Ferrari. Would the Swiss Italian let him through or hold him back? Ostentatiously Rega moved over and waved Hunt through ar a point where the Ferrari pit could clearly see his manoeuvre. As Rega passed his pit he gave them the two finger sign to show his disapproval that he had been dropped from the team for 1977." - p142

[fluffypotatey]

OK SO! the tommyinnit 101. technically this isn't really tied to an smp though.

so first we must start at the very beginning. the dream smp. in late 2020-early 2021, the dream smp was at the height of its popularity, and tommyinnit played one of its most prominent characters (tommy, henceforth referred to as c!tommy). now the thing about c!tommy is that both he and cc!tommy (idk if i've talked about the c! vs cc! divide before but that is its own 101) were under 18 at the time, and therefore if you shipped his character with anyone about 70% of the fandom would tear you apart.

honestly dsmp isn't too relevant here, though, except to introduce tommy and tubbo. you see, in a world of straight men using their little block guys to flirt with one another, tommy was Very vocal about loving women. being Straight was part of his Bit in the same way that being Annoying and playing the able sisters music from animal crossing was.

anyways in late 2022 he uploaded a vlog of him and tubbo getting married, tubbo mostly against his will. they pulled out all the stops- got an ordained minister (their friend scott, who you may recognize from the life series 101s) to do a little ceremony, had a lot of their friends acting as different members of the wedding party, even signed and filed real paperwork!

yep. that's right. they signed legal fucking paperwork. i've heard that tubbo didn't even know it was a marriage certificate, he thought it was a waiver for being in the video or smth. that's right, known straight man tommyinnit tricked his best friend into getting Real Life Legally Married to him, presumably just for shits and giggles.

This fact went unnoticed until mid-late 2023. tubbo was playing on the QSMP with some other people (i know FitMC, not sure who else), and was joking about going to Vegas and getting married to Fit. and then tubbo realized he was still married to tommy.

also, around that time, tommy wrote and published (to wattpad) a rpf crack fic called Tommy x Tubbo Love Triangle, where tommy leaves his Real Life Girlfriend molly for tubbo (molly dies directly afterwards because it was so romantic) and then he and tubbo kiss without tongue. tubbo was not consulted during the production of this fanfiction.

after learning about the marriage, tubbo started working to get a Real Life Divorce from his Real Life Friend Tom. tommy refused to sign the paperwork. if any of this ever goes to court tubbo fully intends to livestream the whole thing.

around 2 months ago, tommy did a parody of "I'm Just Ken" called "I'm Just Tom," in which he begs tubbo not to divorce him. it must be seen to be believed. idk if the link will work in an ask but i need you to see it https://youtu.be/laAPXcxjDlI?si=wPQM3ZJHBIv11Cfr

also if you're wondering how molly, tommy's Real Life Girlfriend, feels about all of this? she thinks it's hilarious. for the past month or two-ish (?), tommy's been doing a stand-up comedy tour in america (because they are all british), and at the same time tubbo's been doing a subathon (aka tubbathon bc it's tubbo) (a subathon is a twitch stream with a timer on it. the stream ends when the timer finishes out, and whenever someone subscribes to the streamer's channel more time is added) (the tubbathon is still going btw and isn't slowing down anytime soon). at one point molly came onto the tubbathon, and tubbo bought her a new phone bc hers was shit. (directly afterwards tommy posted a vlog about it, saying he felt like he was being cucked by his gay husband)

fans have dubbed these three the nightmare polycule, and it's not hard to see why.

and then, finally, this morning (last night in england time), tommy and tubbo were on a phone call. tubbo (gay) encouraged tommy to "say the f slur!" and tommy said, and i quote, "I'm bicurious, so I guess I could say like a fifth of it. [Tochat] Hear that, ya -ggots?"

i needed to tell you all of this so that you would understand the full insanity of all of this. there are some bits that don't really translate unless you were a dsmp fan in the 2020-2021 era, but i need you to see the ongoing insanity this man creates. he had been planning to use that joke for his live comedy show

ok uh

wow

i some pointers on his singing voice (a bit too belty there, that'll damage the throat later, some vowels need rounding)

hilarious that he rhymed Tom with arm

reading this was like a fever dream

molly is me tbh this is the most hilarious drama i have ever read

his comedic timing is beautiful

what the fuck

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Excellent Bugle episode this week, episode 4311. I’d wondered for the last couple of days why it hadn’t come out, because they’re usually recorded around Saturday and released on Mondays. This one came out on Wednesday, and as soon as I started listening to it, of course I understood why. They presumably waited a couple of extra days to record to see if more news would unfold in the Trump situation, so they wouldn’t have to talk about something that people knew nothing about.

I guess it’s also worth taking a bit of time to plan your wording instead of responding to that incident immediately after it happens. Find a way to say both “Obviously you shouldn’t assassinate people” and “We still hate that guy though”, strike the balance in a way that won’t have the Daily Mail announcing WOKE SOCIALIST COMEDIANS SUPPORT POLITICALLY-MOTIVATED MURDER AND JACK BLACK WON’T MAKE MUSIC WITH THEM ANYMORE. I think they did a pretty good job of avoiding that, though Andy might have toed the line a little when he read out a list of victims of successful assassinations who deserved to die less than Trump did. I enjoyed that list.

Anyway, I was pleased when the episode appeared in my podcast app this morning, and even more pleased when I clicked and saw the lineup. Andy Zaltzman, Tom Ballard, Chris Addison. Tom Ballard hasn’t been on The Bulge in a while so it was nice to have him back – he was there in person, as he’s doing WIPs in London right now. Which I know because I’ve been checking the London comedy venues for stuff to see while I’m there, and learned that I could see a Tom Ballard WIP if I were there just a few days earlier. But it’s all right that I’ll miss it, since I’m seeing him in Edinburgh. I think his current WIPs are less about working out the show in general, as he did have it finished, but more about translating the Australian politics-focused material to Britain for an Edinburgh run/British tour. I’m really looking forward to seeing the show.

So I was pleased to hear from Tom Ballard on The Bugle again, but I have to say, the only small downside to this fantastic episode is that Tom Ballard didn’t actually get all that much of a look-in. And that’s not due to any weaknesses in what he had, it’s because he was on with Chris Addison, and the other guests always get pushed to the side of the edit when they’re on with Chris Addison, and rightly so.

I’ve said before that Chris Addison is an amazing Bugle guest because he doesn’t do stand-up anymore. The Bugle isn’t a fully improvised podcast; Andy and the guests turn up with prepared material on topical subjects and then present it and react to each other’s stuff. But most of the time, the comedians are writing for lots of different things at once, and put down a few bullet points worth of ideas for stuff to say on The Bugle. If one of those ideas is deemed good enough to make their stand-up show, they’ll polish it up for that. The version they take to The Bugle is their rough draft.

But not Chris Addison. He doesn’t have a stand-up show to be the final version, or other areas to spread out his ideas. He’s writing multiple finished, polished stand-up monologues for each topic they discuss. He’s throwing all his gold at The Bugle, because he doesn’t have to save any for anywhere else. Andy and other Bugle guests have stopped more than once during his episodes to admire his work/admonish him for making everyone else look bad. One time when Nish Kumar did this after one of Addison’s routines, Chris Addison explained that he just comes across this way because The Bugle is the only opportunity he’s had to write new comedy material in over ten years, and he misses it and enjoys that chance. Which made me say, how many other talents are being wasted out there because Andy Zaltzman didn’t work with them in the early 2000s and put them on the Bugle 15-20 years later? How many brilliant comedians don’t write stand-up material anymore, but are just itching for a chance to do it again, if only an old friend would invite him on a podcast?

That’s what Chris Addison does normally, and this latest episode was no exception. If anything, I think he was on stronger form than usual. He had multiple monologues across the episode that were formatted like a proper, fully-formed stand-up routine. He had tags on tags, of the sort that most comedians only develop after months of WIPs where they think of one or two more words at a time. One of his monologues had a callback to something from a previous monologue. Oh my God, Chris, just fucking book some stand-up gigs again. You can still write your sitcoms and whatever else you’re doing.

So that was great, once again. But that isn’t actually the reason I wanted to write this post. The reason I’m writing this post is to call attention to this exchange, from fairly early into the episode:

Andy Zaltzman: I’d like the Republican Party to become a serious political organization again. That’s right up there with my absolute top pipe dreams, along with eternal peace; guilt-free foie gras; a functioning rail network; compulsory lanyards for all – everywhere, all the time, so we don’t have to remember anyone’s name; a ceasefire in the culture wars – and an equitable and lasting ceasefire, not just one that bumps all the problems down the road, [cough] Versailles; competent top-level administration that safeguards the future of Test cricket for at least the next 4,000 years; and having a head like an orange. Those are my top pipe dreams. Chris Addison: [laughs] That’s a very, very good – very in-joke.

That is an excerpt from Bugle episode 4311, released on July 16 but recorded on July 15, 2024. Now I would like to draw your attention to an excerpt from a questionnaire that sketch comedy duo Zaltzman and Oliver filled out about their 2004 Edinburgh Festival show, published on BBC.co.uk on July 28, 2004:

If the Edinburgh fairy could grant your wish, what would your wish for? AZ: A head like an orange. JO: A head like an orange.

Here’s the important thing about those two quotes: I have carefully combed through the entire individual and combined back catalogues of Andy Zaltzman and John Oliver, and I am pretty confident that those are the only two references ever made to having a head like an orange. This includes within the two sources – I have quoted the entire relevant passage both times, there is no context around it to explain what the hell they’re talking about. They made this joke one time in 2004, I read that questionnaire ages ago and wondered what they were talking about, and now they’d done it again, nearly exactly 20 years later. Like, within two weeks of being exactly twenty years later. And they will not tell us what they mean.

Now, it is possible that I’m just forgetting something here. The fact that Chris Addison recognized the joke in 2024, and that it apparently originated in 2004, makes me wonder if it could have been from The Department, the radio show that Andy Zaltzman, John Oliver, and Chris Addison wrote and starred in together in 2004-2006. I’ve heard every episode of that show a few times each and I don’t remember anything about a head like an orange, but it was pretty dense writing so I could have missed it.

The other possibility is that this is something from Political Animal, the stand-up night that Zaltzman and Oliver ran in London/in Edinburgh during the festival, starting 2003. They’d host it and other comedians would come on to do exclusively political stand-up material, and I know Chris Addison was one of the people who performed there a lot in the early days (Andy, you need to re-start Political Animal in 2024, just so you can make Chris Addison do a set). Some of this got recorded for BBC Radio 4 as well, and there were a lot of weird Zaltzman and Oliver sketches that appeared in the radio show in between the guests, and someone having and/or wanting a head like an orange seems like the sort of thing that could have happened in one of those sketches. I don’t remember it happening, but it’s been a while since I’ve heard that show, so it could have been in there. Even if it never appeared on the radio show, my best guess for the origin of the Orange Mystery is that it was some inside joke from their many Political Animal live shows that didn’t get recorded.

I really want to know this now. I wanted to know before, that 2004 questionnaire is one of my favourite of the weird like Zaltzman and Oliver historical relics. But I want to know even more now that it’s been referenced for only the second ever that I can remember, twenty years later, and we have confirmation that Chris Addison knows what it means. But he’s not telling. And neither is Andy.

I mean, they didn’t tell us, there. Didn’t say they’d never tell. I do pay The Bugle approximately $28/month – by far my most expensive monthly direct debit (well over twice the amount that I pay every month for any other one thing, besides, you know, rent and bills), even though I keep telling myself I need to be careful with money and should probably cancel that one because I can’t quite afford it, but I’ve taken so much free entertainment from Andy Zaltzman that it feels like the least I owe him.

The point is that because I pay this much money, I am a premium subscriber who can access their monthly show in which Andy answers questions submitted by premium subscribers. I just recently wrote a post about how I tend to be horrifically embarrassed by the thought of interacting with comedians I like, normally I’d never do this. But I’m thinking I might, in this case. It’s a reasonable question, isn’t it? Why does Andy Zaltzman want a head like an orange? I might send that in. Interacting with famous comedians does feel slightly more justified if I've paid for the privilege.

It originated way too early to be a Trump joke, no one was talking about his orange head in 2004. I keep trying to picture a head like an orange, in the hopes that that that will jog my memory of some other time when that image has been in my head, perhaps due to some other reference that I’d heard Zaltzman and Oliver make to it but had since forgotten. But every time I think of it, all I can picture is the curious orange from This Morning with Richard Not Judy, and that’s not it. I have never heard Zaltzman and/or Oliver reference Lee and/or Herring, I can’t imagine they’d start with this. My only other vague guess is maybe a joke about the colour of Andy’s hair? But why?

@lastweeksshirttonight @nyomkitten @bimwi, any of the Tumblr Buglers recognize this? Can any of you read this post and say, "How on Earth is Meerkats forgetting the very obvious [old Bugle episode in which they clearly explain their in-joke about a head like an orange, which I am somehow the only idiot who can't remember]?" Because if none of you tell me that's the case, then I'm emailing Andy Zaltzman to ask. Well, I'm emailing Producer Chris, and I'll just have to hope he puts the question to Andy.

Although I recently heard someone else get the opportunity to put just one question to a comedian, and they went with "Fuck marry kill - Rob Beckett, Ricky Gervais, Daniel Kitson", and it did make me think that is the perfect use of an opportunity to ask a comedian one question, and that should be the only question asked by any fan who's ever in such a situation again. Sorry to betray that by asking about a head like an orange instead. Andy Zaltzman and Daniel Kitson sharing a stage/radio studio has delivered some of the most awkward, social chemistry-free energy I've ever heard, so I'm sure he'd have a fun answer to that question too. He might have to let Ricky Gervais live just so he could avoid a marriage or sexual situation in which someone made him do a Marvin Gaye impression in the middle of it.

Edit: Okay, I've been informed that apparently there is an old joke about a man wishing for a head like an orange from a genie? I'd never heard it before but a guy I knew from England told me it was quite well known (and showed me a link to an American site, so apparently they had it there). I had never heard of this. Am I the only person who'd never heard of this? It hadn't occurred to me that Andy Zaltzzman would be referencing a joke he hadn't invented.

[andorshitdaily]

nominating vetch for most likely to be a star. he gets bit parts whenever they need someone to play a big guy in a movie but he's so recognizable and lovable he becomes a fan favorite and is soon widely beloved. like that guy who plays all the slenderman type creatures in every horror movie

i personally am looking forward to his stand up comedy tour. eh? eh??? okay

[theeldritchcorvid]

The Train Story

So I thought I'd have a crack at telling a story from my past in hopes it'll make you laugh. I am inspired here by the masterful work of @inbabylontheywept and @gallusrostromegalus who have such evocative writing styles that I can never hope to match. So here we are. TW for brief suicide mention.

The year is [REDACTED FOR PRIVACY] but all you need to know really is that it was Autumn and Unseasonably Warm for Autumn and that this story is set in the UK because that's where it happened. My mother and I had been preparing a series of trips to university open days, which would ordinarily be done in Summer but I was paralysed with fear about university so we were a touch late to the party.

This specific trip was to Bristol. Our route took us via Paddington Station, and I like that station because it actually has a little statue of Paddington Bear there. And he's my favourite little guy. Anyway, I digress.

It was an early start - how early I can't actually recall - but I was kind of annoyed anyway because it was Saturday and I was missing Drama Club (I would later learn I missed auditions for a scene from the Addams Family) but here we were anyway.

The first clue of Something occurring was when we arrived on the concourse and no trains were leaving. And there was a huge crowd clustered around the line at Departures. There had been a fire on the line, meaning no trains could leave.

The crowds grew. Time ticked on. I did some maths and realised we were doomed to miss our tour of the anatomy building. We considered booking it. We were assuaged from this by the unexpected arrival of one of my friends, who was also en route to Bristol.

A train did, eventually, leave, an hour behind schedule, and that train was so packed there were people standing from London to Bristol. Which, for those unaware, is just about TWO HOURS. At one point the train stopped at Bath and people had to fight their way out of our carriage because we were at the front of the train and the platform was short.

Eventually, though, we survived. We had a lovely open day, of which the details are irrelevant, and we headed for home.

which, of course, was when the trouble started.

It is useful to the story to know that I was without a means of communication at this time. My mum had her phone, but mine was getting repaired and thus out of the picture. So I had to retell this story by recount after the fact to my peers on discord, which is where I am retrieving the details. It may not be accurate as to what happened next in reality. But we are here for comedy not my autobiography so Here Fucking Goes.

We are sitting on the train back, and around Bath we hear someone over the Tannoy ask for the conductor to come to the driver's carriage. We know not why. Soon after, we are told our train will be stopping at Swindon. SWINDON. Which is, for the record, a LONG way out of London.

We stop. We are told another train will be along soon and to catch that. Which we do. Unfortunately, this train is already pretty packed, and we are stuck standing - my back is pressed against the wall, hanging on to a handrail for dear fucking life.

In hindsight, that train being half an hour delayed should have been a clue that something was up.

We get to Reading with the standard 'stuck-standing-in-a-packed-train' difficulty, shuffling around to let people disembark. Then we stop at Reading. We do not leave.

It is discovered someone had committed suicide further down the line, as well as ANOTHER FIRE, halting all trains at Reading. We are encouraged to get off the train and get some air. Another train, we are told, is going to Waterloo, London. That, we assume, is our best bet.

Everyone else has assumed the same thing. The scrum at the ticket-gates is worthy of a zombie apocalypse movie. Nobody is let through. The station staff aren't letting us - the Waterloo train is already rammed. Then, the announcement:

"We are able to run two trains to Paddington from platforms 11 and 10".

Or something like that. I think at this point I was starting to dissociate. People start moving - nay, running. Mum and I try to be calm, but we are caught up and start running too. I am laughing. I remember that. Like Vincent Price in Thriller. Like the Joker. Like the Dentist in Little Shop of Horrors.

We get on the train. We get seats. The train leaves, and there is a cheer from the carriage. I burst into tears. We ring my father, let him know we're going back to London. We're alive. We get down to the Elizabeth line, there's a train there... and it's broken down. Well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw, I think.

We change lines. We divert. I have never been so thankful for the London Underground in my life. Eventually, we get on a train home. It is now dark. We rattle on through the darkness.

then

the

train

stops.

in the dark. and the train driver comes over the tannoy, he is apologetic: someone in the train ahead has pulled the emergency stop and is now running around on the tracks.

the dam bursts. I collapse into a fit of hysterical giggles, laughing about how we're cursed. I explain the entire thing to a group of middle-aged butch lesbians in our train car. I can't remember how they reacted, but I think they thought it was funny.

we get home at eight pm. I eat so much Chinese food I feel sick, and tell the whole sorry story to my friends over discord. Mum got refunded for the whole sorry mess.

And I didn't go to the university of Bristol, for those curious.

[jasrussell]

BASIC INFORMATION.

full name: jaswinder russell

nickname: jas, thunderbolt ( exclusively by ravi ), jazzy

age: twenty six

birth date: july 17th 1998

birth place: aurora bay

nationality: american

gender: cis female

pronouns: she / her

orientation: bisexual

neighbourhood: fisher’s cove

occupation: stand-up comedian

time in town: her entire life up until 2022 and then returned end of july 2024

@aurorabayaesthetic

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE.

face claim: geraldine viswanathan

hair colour: dark brown

eye colour: dark brown

height: 5'6"

build: petite

scars: n/a

tattoos: a small tattoo of the sun on her wrist for her brother

piercings: jas her nose and ears pierced

FAMILY.

parents: advika russell ( nee mohiuddin ) , arthur russell

siblings: ravi russell

PERSONALITY TRAITS.

+ venturesome, independent, creative - loquacious, dramatic, impulsive

HISTORY.

Jaswinder Russell was always an unconventional child with unconventional dreams. While her friends and family had dreams of becoming doctors, lawyers and actors, Jas had had her sights set on something else—a medium.

It was a dream born from binge watching shows such as Ghost Whisperer and Medium that would last all of six months. One night she had convinced Ravi to watch The Shining with her. Jas only made it through the first act before she was crying into Arthur’s lap. This would be the beginning of a string of pipeline careers for Jas that would make her a jack of all trades, but master of none.

A girl born with a sharp tongue and a quick wit, Jas was always cracking people up—which often landed her in trouble at school for being deemed too disruptive in class and landed her in hot water with her parents every time parent-teacher conference rolled around.

Advika and Arthur were never angry—only disappointed and occasionally frustrated that their daughter chose to waste her high school education on acting like the class clown. Jas was happy to coast along, her grades never suffered but she never truly excelled in any subjects during her high school career, she graduated with grades high enough for her diploma but knew college was an unlikely route.

Jas has drifted through most of her life, shrugging her shoulders at questions about her future and career path. She wasn't like Ravi—with his passion for cooking and experimenting in the kitchen. Jas had a hundred passions and interests, but none that she ever considered herself interested or passionate enough to pursue a career.

Until 2019 when she started posting skits about growing up with her Muslim Mom on TikTok. ( Think Laura Ramoso on TikTok with her German Mom TikToks. ) It was a project created to let her creative juices flow after feeling aimless and lost for several years, not knowing what she wanted to do with her life. Jas soon found her TikTok's gaining traction with likes, comments and views skyrocketing into the high millions within a couple of weeks of beginning to post them.

Shortly after her TikTok catapulted her onto almost everyone's FYP, Jas took her skit and quick wit to local bars for their comedy nights to flex her comedic muscles and test the waters at stand-up comedy. Her jokes were an instant hit with the audience and quickly earned Jas the coveted Thursday night comedy slot at a local comedy club.

In 2022 Jas applied for a spot in a comedy showcase in Los Angeles to win a chance at taking her act on tour with other new voices in comedy just like her. For the first time in her life, Jas had won something and she had finally found something she was passionate about. After winning the showcase, Jas went on tour mid-2023 and has been touring the country with her popular comedy act until she returned home to Aurora Bay recently after the tour's final date in New York.

TIDBITS.

her favourite ice cream flavour is pistachio and is an avid lover of all things matcha flavoured.

jas learned about their estranged family from ravi, not advika and arthur. she stands firm on the feeling being mutual—if they don't want to know her, then she doesn't want to know them either.

doesn't consider herself muslim or christian but considers her faith to be somewhere in the middle—practices aspects of both religions but doesn't consider herself to be devout in either

comedy heroes that she aspires to be half as good as are mindy kaling, margret cho, jen brister, sindhu vee and quinta brunson.

one of her dreams is to book a guest role on abbott elementary

big time yapper

WANTED CONNECTIONS.

GENERAL

friends from growing up in aurora bay / high school friends / colleagues from summer jobs growing up / tiktok followers / friends of her brother / best friends / ride or dies / / people she met on tour / rivals / enemies

ROMANTIC

first kiss / unrequited love / tinder matches / exes / one night stands / flirtationships / situationships / bad dates / friends with benefits / enemies to lovers / high school exes / first love / etc

ESTABLISHED CONNECTIONS.

new roommate of @noah-atwood

tiktok friends with @reggiellewellyn

[digitaltariq]

Ricky Stanicky Stars Jermaine Fowler and Andrew Santino Snort It Up

Abstract - Jamie Foxx sang 'Blame it on the alcohol,' however now it is all concerning the imaginary good friend in Zac Efron's movie. - Ricky Stanicky ensures laughs with Peter Farrelly directing and real-life comics as Efron's friends. - Interviews with stand-up comedians introduced laughs, aiding performances & comedic timing within the movie. There's nothing like a very good scapegoat — till it stops working, in fact. Jamie Foxx as soon as crooned, "Blame it on the alcohol," however in a brand new Zac Efron-starring movie on Prime Video, the saying ought to as a substitute go, "Blame it on the...imaginary good friend." Sure, the title for Ricky Stanicky, as anybody who's seen the movie's promotional trailer can affirm, derives from a made-up particular person {that a} trio of lifelong mates use to weasel their approach out of any variety of "sticky" (pun meant) conditions. With Oscar-winner Peter Farrelly on the helm, plus real-life comics enjoying Efron's friends, Ricky Stanicky ensures a great deal of laughs. We not too long ago caught up with the movie's scene stealers — in addition to John Cena enjoying the outrageous eponymous persona — in an interview in Los Angeles to study what went into crafting a kind of throwback, slapstick comedy within the trendy period. Andrew Santino (Beef) and Jermaine Fowler (Coming 2 America) additionally dished to MovieWeb about working alongside Efron and their different tasks within the works.

'My God, Was It Boring" — Not!

Ricky Stanicky Launch DateMarch 7, 2024 StudioFootloose Productions, Michael De Luca Productions, Rocket Science What's one benefit to interviewing acclaimed stand-up comedians? The interview itself is sure to garner some laughs. Ricky Stanicky has its justifiable share of hilarious sequences, each on bodily and verbal ranges. It will need to have been a thrill for the actors to shoot these scenes, so we requested Santino and Fowler if they might affirm our suspicions. "Not likely. No. You'll assume so, however my God was it boring," Santino joked to us, in typical deadpan-comedy vogue. "They paid us in hugs, which is a bit demeaning." To which Fowler replied, refusing to let the joke die, "You'd assume with all of the superb individuals we had on set, it would be good." For the reason that pair are execs with regards to comedic supply, it is secure to say this actually aided them in fleshing out their performances on the massive display. "It undoubtedly helped. Simply timing, comedic timing," stated Fowler. "It helps give your rhythm." Then, Santino could not assist himself however flip our query right into a gag once more. "And even typically, should you're ok, you possibly can end one another's..." he stated, ready for Fowler to conclude the sentence — which Fowler, in fact, refused to do. It was actually troublesome to maintain a straight face throughout all this banter! On the matter of real-life stand-up expertise, Santino is preserving busy together with his profession exterior of appearing. "I am ending up a tour with my good good friend Bobby Lee," he informed us. "We do a 'Unhealthy Buddies' tour."

Associated Ricky Stanicky Assessment: The Wondrous John Cena Cannot Fairly Save Peter Farrelly's Uneven Comedy Oscar winner Peter Farrelly follows up Inexperienced Ebook with a pair of Zac Efron tasks, the newest feeling all too foolish and fails to make the most of the actor. Followers of FX's hit collection Dave will acknowledge Santino as Mike, a.ok.a. Lil Dicky's supervisor within the present. Sadly, the present's star Dave Burd recently confirmed he will likely be taking a protracted hiatus from the present. "It is simply post-strike. I believe they're shifting on to different stuff," Santino informed us after we requested concerning the current announcement. "That is type of what occurs." Watching Cocaine Bear With Efron Going again to Ricky Stanicky, it is arduous to pinpoint simply which of the ridiculous scenes was maybe the funniest. We requested the pair if that they had a choice, wanting again on the top outcome. "My favourite a part of the movie was truthfully the bris scene. It was most likely probably the most enjoyable, silly, free, goofy," stated Santino, with out revealing too many spoilers. "It took 4 days as a result of it was such an enormous set piece, and to observe all of it come collectively after we noticed the screening was wild." "Yeah, the film involves that time, like, all the things we have labored for comes at that time," Fowler stated, piggybacking off Santino. 4:43

Associated Unique: Peter Farrelly and William H. Macy on Embracing Hilarity With Ricky Stanicky The Oscar-winning Inexperienced Ebook director and the Oscar-nominated Fargo star spoke to MovieWeb about their Zac Efron and John Cena comedy. Fowler and Santino play the friends of Dean, the movie's true protagonist, performed by the little-known actor Zac Efron. "He is great. He actually is," stated Fowler. "The dude is simply straight up a cool-ass dude. Most occasions, we might hang around at his Airbnb or simply play beer pong and pay attention to sit back music, play ping pong, films. I watched Cocaine Bear at his home after considered one of our days on set. That was hilarious." Santino continued, on Efron: "He is a very good dude, very simple to work with and actually type of wished to stay within the comedic moments. And I do not know methods to say it with out sounding bizarre, however he type of wished us to cleared the path for a few of the comedic moments and actually type of allow us to do it, and adopted go well with a bit bit." Because the chief of their little trio, Efron's character Dean is perpetually in misery, as he tries to juggle the lifelong lie that's "Ricky Stanicky" whereas sustaining some kind of blissful marriage to his spouse Erin (Lex Scott Davis). "He was battling a lot, his character had so many lies he needed to sustain with," Fowler informed us, in pondering extra concerning the Dean persona. "So you possibly can see within the movie, the best way portrayed his character, he was boiling. It was actually cool to observe him type of strike that steadiness." Try the efficiency for your self. Ricky Stanicky is now streaming globally on Prime Video. You may watch it via the hyperlink beneath: Read the full article

[dootiexcupcake]

Reader teaching Soobin how to skateboard

JWJEKEJJDJEJE OK IM SUPER EXCITED TO DO THIS BC I FIND THIS CONCEPT SO ADORABLE *wails*!

I just want to apologize right now bc I do not skateboard and I don’t even have friends who skateboard so my knowledge is less than limited looool

☆ when you and Soobin first met it was actually at the skate park

☆ it’s very funny how that came to be considering the fact that he doesn’t skate

☆ but he had Beomgyu and Kai to blame for dragging him to the park that day despite that

☆ but it all wound up working out in the end because he, of course, met you <3

☆ if Soobin was being completely honest; he’s kind of embarrassed about the fact that he doesn’t know how to skateboard. This whole time he had you under the assumption that he did (because why else would he be at a skate park 🤔?)

☆ but when he bashfully came up to you one day and asked if you could teach him, you were taken aback but more than happy help! after you finished laughing of course

☆ so now here you both are. At the very skate park that you two met at

☆ you try to hold back your laughter as much as possible when he shows up in full protective gear. He’s more safe and secure than you were when you first started skating, you think to yourself

☆ you take him to a more secluded area of the park so he’d be able to focus better and less people will get in his way

☆ “so just like a walk you're going to put your front foot on the board straight, and your back foot on the ground straight, and then you're just going to take a step, lift up, take a step, lift up and that's basically it. Don't even worry about stepping on the board yet literally just go back and forth with one foot”

☆ Soobin stared at you intently as he soaked in every step you gave him

☆ you continued to demonstrate various other basic skills on the board before turning back to him, “you wanna try it out for yourself?”

☆ Soobins eyes widened at the suggestion but he nodded his head regardless and got on his board

☆ as expected, his first few steps were very shakey. As soon as you saw him begin to fall you ran over and placed your hands on his hips to steady him. thankfully for Soobin you didn’t see the way his face flushed red

☆ after a few more minutes skating back and forth Soobin wanted to move on to the next step. Stopping

☆ luckily for him, that’s the easiest thing in the world

☆ you stood a few feet in front of him and acted as a mark for him to stop at. The more he went, the further you distanced yourself from him

☆ Soobin was doing very well for a beginner! He’s your best student!…well…he’s your first and only student

☆ you had a big smile on your face when Soobin was skating towards you at a higher speed than last time, “look at how fast you’re goin soobie! You’re doing really good!” You yelled out from across the park. Soobin had his typical crescent eyed smile as he got even closer

☆ but your smile dropped when you noticed Soobin wasn’t doing the most important part of this step

☆ “Soobin don’t forget to bend your kne-!“

☆ both of you came crashing down to the hard concrete with a loud thud

☆ “ugh…soobinnn” you drawled out as you rubbed the back of your head, eyes squinting in pain. You tried to move your other hand until you realized it was stuck. ‘Stuck on what?’

☆ “hey, are you alright? Sorry for not bending my knees by the way! I totally forgot!”

☆ ah..so it seems your hand was stuck between a Soobin and a hard place (wow you should go on a comedy tour with that material)

☆ you looked down at your hand and saw it pressed flushed against Soobins chest. You glanced back up and

☆ wait…

☆ both of you stare at each other wide eyed when you come to the shared realization. eyes glued to one another for what seems like an eternity

☆ “uhm…Soobin…” You finally break the silence and it forces Soobin to snap out of his daze as he scrambles to his feet. He stretched his hand out for you to grab and you take it as you stand to your feet as well

☆ it is very awkward for a few seconds with the two of you not able to make eye contact with one another.

☆ “s-sorry again for the-not bending my-uh..”

☆ oh soobin..you can’t help but feel butterflies in your stomach at his cute stammering

☆ you feel bad for him, so you nudge him in the side and reassure him that it’s all good

☆ which causes him to give you a thankful smile

☆ “so what’s the next step?”

txt m.list | main m.list

[hcrdknocklife]

closed starter for @utterxdesires

If someone were to ask Jacob what he loved the most about being an actor, he probably would have told them that it was the fact that he got to travel the world for work. But as much as he loved to travel and live in different countries for a few weeks or months at a time, it was safe to say that the last few months had been particularly difficult for him. Not that he had not enjoyed having the opportunity to film a romantic comedy that was set all over Europe, but considering the fact that he finally had some sort of a romance in his own life that had been put on hold for the time being, Jacob had come to regret the fact that he travelled so much for work.

Needless to say, he had spent his entire time he was away thinking about Juno, and the undeniable feelings that he had harbored for her. While they had kept in touch over the last few months, the time difference had made it so that text messages had been their only form of contact. As the days went by, Jacob had begun to miss Juno, to miss holding her in his arms, to miss kissing her, to miss showing her how much he had wanted her. Juno had been the first person who had treated him as a person rather than an actor, letting him let loose at her favourite pub after the interview, and paying attention to him in a way that no one else had. It was only a matter of time before he had realized that he wanted to hold onto her, to not let go of someone like her.

Perhaps that was why he had called her as soon as he had landed, letting her know that he was back in town, asking her where she was because he wanted to see her right away. He had stopped by the flower shop on his way home from the airport, picking up a bouquet before he had his driver drop him off, and the moment he had laid his eyes on the woman who had rocked his entire world after months apart, a rather wide grin had found its place upon his lips, and he made his way over to greet her with a kiss on her cheek, offering her the flowers. "I know that I took off immediately after we had sex, and the timing wasn't right. But I want you to know that I could not stop thinking about you. I want to do this the right way. I want to get to know you, properly. How would you like to go on a date with me? And I don't mean a home-cooked brunch, or a tour of my home, followed by a one-night stand. I want to take you out on a proper date, where I pick you up from your home, and take you to my favourite spot in town, where we can have a candlelit dinner, and talk for hours about anything, and everything, and then we can go for a walk along the beach, and I'll kiss you under the moonlight, carry you back to the car. I want to do this the right way, Juno."

[grandhotelabyss]

Do you have any "must-read" literary magazines/book publishers/blogs, etc.?

I think the best literary coverage in magazines these days is in Compact and Tablet, because whoever's putting up the money and whatever their agenda has evidently and wisely decided to keep the cultural coverage much more free of overt politics than other venues. I'm not only talking about "wokeness" here but also the nonsense we find in the "anti-woke" venues, like, just to give an example, this tacky "Zombie Reagan" complaint in Quillette that English departments are dying because they teach, and I quote, "Foucault, Judith Butler, Kant, and Gloria Anzaldúa," yes, I repeat, Kant. Whereas Compact gives Gasda free rein to take it to the Oxfordians (not least Yarvin), and let the tech-adjacent neoreactionary politics fall where they may, just as Tablet lets Blake Smith chart the uncharted middle course in subtle essay after subtle essay on queer theory and politics, the very subtlety itself guaranteed to offend activists of all camps. Not to mention that both venues publish interesting free agents like Valerie Stivers and Naomi Tanakia. In the same vein, Unherd is good for political and cultural commentary—pretty unpredictable, if convergent upon what we might call the new center. The Mars Review of Books also seems interesting, but it's too soon to tell. There's still good material in the usual places like LRB, NYRB, The Nation and Harper's—Will Self almost (almost!) persuading me to read a book I've privately been calling Adenoid, for example—but it's been more mixed since the commanding heights crudely tried to requisition the whole of humane culture in reaction to Trump. (Full disclosure: I've written for Tablet a time or two myself.)

In our agitated and ever-shifting media environment, one would have to cover Twitter accounts, Substack and other newsletters, podcasts, and YouTube channels too, across the cultural and political spectrum, so I have both too much and not enough to recommend. I've always thought Katherine Dee had her finger on the pulse of the culture, so her work in various venues is a longstanding recommendation. The renegade and provocateur Justin Murphy is always interesting if often silly or willfully offensive. The aforementioned Matt Gasda's Substack "Writer's Diary" is always compelling. Lately I've been admiring Emmalea Russo's tour of the Divide Comedy with reference to cinema and astrology and modernism and theory and what have you, also on Substack. The collected 1990s-era YouTube lectures on great books and intellectual history by Michael Sugrue and Darren Staloff are also recommendations of long standing, and Sugrue and Staloff also now produce new material, if more casual. My favorite podcasts specifically for literature and the arts are Manifesto! and Art of Darkness.

Favorite book publishers? Not exactly. The go-to answer is NYRB Classics; they publish a lot of stuff that interests me, including things I didn't know would interest me until they published it, especially their nonfiction catalogue, whether Simon Leys's collected essays or Simone Weil on the Iliad or Gillian Rose's incomparable Love's Work, and their attention to major world fiction neglected by other publishers (Platonov, Jünger, Salih). But as I believe Ann Manov once Tweeted, some of those midcentury novels might have been deservedly forgotten; hate me if you must, but I never did finish Stoner. They should reprint the whole of Dorothy Richardson's Pilgrimage, though who knows what the copyright situation is there. Another publisher recommendation: you'll rarely go wrong reading a classic in the Norton Critical Edition.

[scotianostra]

Thomas Sean Connery, born in the Fountainbridge area of Edinburgh on 25th August, 1930.

Big Tam, as he was affectionately known around Fountainbridge in his youth, he was Tommy until his teens, when he shot up in height and stature, at one point he entered a bodybuilding contest, he was 6'2″ at the time, weighed around 14 stone, had a 48-inch chest, 25-inch thigh, and his arms were 15.25 inches.

His first job was as a milkman with the St Cuthbert’s Co-Operative Society in Edinburgh. I would think he would have delivered the milk on a horse drawn carriage, the stables for these horses was in the are he grew up, were in Grove Street, where I used to live the main offices for St Cuthbert’s still stands round the corner on Fountainbridge.

Connery also played football at junior level for Bonnyrigg Rose, my cousin played for them too for several years.

A few more facts about Sean are he has a tattoo on his arm that state “Scotland Forever” he got when he enrolled in the Merchant Navy, he was discharged from that job due to stomach ulcers, between jobs he was a nude model for art students at Edinburgh College of art, again not to far from Fountainbridge. Other jobs he took up were, a lorry driver, a lifeguard at Portobello swimming baths,a labourer and a coffin polisher!

I think it is interesting Connery never strayed far from Fountainbridge in his younger days, indeed when he decided that acting was a career he was going to pursue, it was the nearby Kings Theatre he got a job helping backstage, he was also competing in bodybuilding competitions at this time and while at an event in London he learned that there were auditions being held for South Pacific, he was picked to appear on the chorus line but as the production toured the country he was making his way up the ladder.

By the time it hit Edinburgh he had the part of Marine Cpl Hamilton Steeves and was understudying two of the juvenile leads, and his salary was raised from £12 to £14–10s a week, when the production was reprised the following year he had the lead role on the tour, taking over from the actor Larry Hagman, who played the part in London’s West End.

Connery never looked back from there and of course the role of James Bond catapulted him to international stardom, Ian Fleming though was against him getting the part initially, he said Sean was “unrefined” and not what he had in mind, Sean soon won him over though and Fleming later admitted he was an “ideal” Bond.

A few of the parts Sean either didn’t get or turned down are Gandalf, in the Lord of the Rings series of films, he said he never understood the books and also wasn’t keen on 18 months of filming in New Zealand. He also turned down the chance to play the role of the Architect in The Matrix Reloaded and The Matrix Revolutions. Sean was asked to portray King Edward I in Braveheart, but was too busy working on Another film at the time, Patrick McGoohan took the role instead, I’m sort of glad he never played Longshanks.

His 93rd and last film was 2003’s The League of Extraordinary Gentleman - although he officially retired in 2006, although he was temporarily tempted back to do the voice of Sir Billi in the animated adventure comedy of the same name.

Sir Sean Connery passed away in his sleep on 31st October 2020 at his home in the Bahamas, his son said he had been unwell for some time. The official cause of death was pneumonia, heart failure and old age, his death certificate revealed.

In a career spanning over 50 years, Connery earned an Academy Award, multiple Golden Globes, including the Cecil B. DeMille and Henrietta Awards, as well as two British Academy Film Awards (BAFTA) awards.

[ausetkmt]

Tiffany Haddish's Ex-Friend Defends Serving Her Legal Papers Outside Comedy Club, Says Actress 'Refuses' to Apologize for Extortion Allegations

Trizah Morris explained why Tiffany Haddish was served outside of the Laugh Factory.

Tiffany Haddish's former friend defended serving the actress with legal papers outside of the Laugh Factory in Hollywood, telling RadarOnline.comexclusively that Haddish has yet to apologize for accusing her of extortion.

RadarOnline.com told you first that Trizah Morris had filed a defamation lawsuit one year after her children sued the comedian.

Haddish was served around 6:45 PM on August 28, 2023, allowing Morris' $1 million lawsuit to move forward in court.

"Tiffany Haddish was dodging service at her residence, so we had to serve her at the Laugh Factory," Morris told RadarOnline.com in a statement on Thursday.

Morris is suing Haddish and fellow stand-up comic Aries Spears, detailing in court docs how she was close with the Girls Trip star from 2011 to 2020 but was not friends with Spears despite meeting him in 2014.

She accused Haddish of grooming her kids and having them perform sexually inappropriate skits in 2014.

Morris is the mother of two adults who sued Haddish and Spears for child sexual abuse over sketches they filmed with the comedians while they were minors.

Jane Doe alleged Haddish had her film a scene where she simulated oral sex and also claimed her brother was used for a skit with Spears about a pedophile's fantasy.

Haddish's attorney, Andrew Brettler, previously told TMZ the lawsuit was an extortion attempt last fall, claiming, "Plaintiff's mother, Trizah Morris, has been trying to assert these bogus claims against Ms. Haddish for several years."

The comedians denied all allegations of wrongdoing and labeled the lawsuit a shakedown for money.

"While this sketch was intended to be comedic, it wasn't funny at all – and I deeply regret having agreed to act in it," Haddish also said. "I really look forward to being able to share a lot more about this situation as soon as I can."

As we reported at the time, the plaintiffs dismissed the case in September 2022.

Morris filed her lawsuit over statements Haddish and Spears made after her children sued.

Morris later filed her lawsuit over statements the comedians made, labeling her an extortionist.

The court docs stated she claimed to have called Haddish's lawyer in February to ask the actress to release a statement clearing her from the extortion claims.

Morris said she got a call from Haddish in March and was told by Haddish that she would address it if the question was brought up, alleging the actress instead spoke negatively about her in a press tour interview weeks later.

"Haddish refuses to apologize to me for lying about being extorted," Morris alleged to RadarOnline.com on Thursday. "Tiffany Haddish thinks this is a joke and she [allegedly said in April 2023] that Hollywood is going to protect her, that's why she became Jewish."

Morris claimed that Haddish made the last remark when she asked Haddish about clearing the extortion claims.

[wrestlingisfake]

G1 Climax Day 2 preview

D Block: Tetsuya Naito vs. Jeff Cobb - Naito is 3-0 against Cobb, which might explain why this match doesn't have any sizzle for me. It's just kind of there, and it feels like it's the main event just because Naito's the biggest star on the card.

Naito is my pick to win the whole tournament; pitting him against SANADA at Wrestle Kingdom for the world title just makes a lot of sense. If I'm right, that means New Japan has to spend the whole tour trying to convince you he's not the obvious favorite. And their favorite way to do that is book a guy into a 0-2 or 0-3 start to put them on the brink of elimination. The fact this match is going on last almost telegraphs that the big story of the show will be Cobb getting a win over Naito.

C Block: Tama Tonga vs. EVIL - I don't expect either of these guys to do better than 4-3 in the block. Actually, Evil could do a lot worse if they book him like his buddy SHO in the Best of the Super Jr. a couple of months ago. Tama's cool and I'd like to see him pushed, but seeing as Tanga Loa is finally back those two should get back in the tag title hunt as soon as the G1 ends. I don't think the outcome of this one is going to make much difference in anything.

D Block: Zack Sabre Jr. vs. Hiroshi Tanahashi - Sabre is the NJPW World television champion; Tana is one of the NEVER trios champions. I could see either of these guys winning the block, with Naito barely squeaking by as runner-up.

A few years ago it felt like Sabre had Tana's number, but in singles matches Tana leads the series 6-4, and Sabre hasn't beaten him since 2019. I could see Sabre winning to even the score up a little. Although it would make sense for Tana to get a win to set up a TV title match. Note that this year's block matches have a 20-minute time limit, whereas Sabre's whole deal as TV champ is that nobody can beat him in fifteen. So if Tana does win, I expect it to be about 17 minutes in.

C Block: Eddie Kingston vs. Shingo Takagi - Eddie is the new STRONG champion, having won the belt from KENTA on July 5. I think all of Eddie's New Japan matches have been under the Strong brand, but now he's really in New Japan, y'know? Beating a former IWGP world champion in his G1 debut would be huge, even if Shingo isn't protected as much as some other former world champs. I'd go ahead and do it, but New Japan is more conservative than I am about giving out big statement wins like that.

I was going to say I don't think either guy is going to make it to the knockout stage, but as I look over all of C Block, none of those guys seem like strong candidates. So hell, maybe the idea is to keep the tippy-toppy guys out of the way so Eddie can win the block. It wouldn't be the worst idea in the world. I'll certainly be rooting for that to happen, but I bet I'll be disappointed a lot.

D Block: Alex Coughlin vs. Shane Haste - Coughlin is one of the STRONG tag team champions, alongside his partner Gabe Kidd. I'm sure at some point Coughlin and Kidd will have to contend with Haste and his own partner, Mikey Nicholls. But for now they're just two tag team guys in a singles tournament, so I don't expect much from either of them. I'd put Haste over to remind everybody he exists, but they may want all the new Bullet Club guys to shine in the early going.

C Block: Mikey Nicholls vs. Aaron Henare - I don't think Nicholls will do any better than Haste in this tournament, but chances are he can beat Henare. I really thought last year Henare would make a big impression in the G1, but now I've given up on the poor guy. If he can beat Nicholls, good for him, but I don't expect him to do better than 1-6.

D Block: Hirooki Goto vs. Toru Yano - Goto is a co-holder of the IWGP heavyweight tag team championship. Yano is mainly a comedy bullshit guy in the G1, but occasionally his comedy bullshit leads to a win that shakes up the standings. Interestingly, Yano has not beaten Goto in nine years. Something tells me he's due.

C Block: David Finlay vs. Tomohiro Ishii - Finlay is the NEVER singles champion and Ishii is one of the NEVER trios champions. I'm very confused this is the opening match. Finlay is getting the strangest "new leader of Bullet Club" push I've ever seen. This is a rematch from Finlay beating Ishii in the New Japan Cup, which suggests Ishii might get his win back. If it's me I have Finlay go 5-2 and at least finish second in the block. But I'm not so sure they're as committed to him as I think they should be.