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kchuarts · 4 years

Text

Instinct 2

A/N: >:3c I need to be in h*rny jail for this.

Summary: The journey to Jotunheim takes off smoothly, no issues to report. Loki and his crew believe that the mission to close the ripped seam shouldn’t be difficult. However, things do appear too good to be true and events take a turn…

Warnings: 🔞🔞🔞 SPICY SMUT, breeding, dubious consent, impregnation, angst, etc… DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE UNDER 18 🔞🔞🔞

“We are approaching our destination, Prince Loki.” The pilot informed the God in the co-pilot seat. He nodded in response and leaned forward a bit, brows scrunching… Something was very off. “Captain, can you change coordinates to land behind that cluster of trees? Just over there.“ Loki pointed to a clearing to where he had just mentioned. The pilot nodded, tilting the ship in that angle and safely landing in position. "What had you change your plan of landing, your highness?” An Asgardian S.H.I.E.L.D agent raised his brow. Loki looked to the agent then at Astrid who was preparing necessary medical items for the journey. “I need to make sure that we are under complete cover. I have brought my wife with me due to her medical expertise and insistence on joining us… Plus, there could be some medicinal remedies not yet discovered and I am most certain she would be quite cross with me if I had her miss out on such a feat.” He smiled slightly. The man looked to Astrid and smiled brightly, “Why your highness, I hadn’t a clue she was your wife. I thought she looked familiar from yesterday when you both brought my little girl safely to me! What can I, Brand Jorgunson of Asgard, do to repay your graces kindness?” He looked hopeful at the prince.

Oh. Well, Loki was not expecting the father of the little girl to be Asgardian. This fact calmed his nerves about what he had said yesterday. “Your hard work and perseverance is all that I require-” His smile dropped as there was a screech among the harsh winds of the planet. The fleet became silent and Loki crept over to Astrid out of his instinct to protect her. He looked down at his wife as she grabbed his arm and shuddered. “Th-That wasn’t the same noise from yesterday.” She spoke in a hushed voice, holding onto him a bit more tightly. “No, it is not. I do believe that we are as close to the tear as we can physically get without tampering space and time. There are more beasts concentrated in this area due to the high frequency of the tear.” Loki pondered, releasing Astrid. They needed to get to that seam quickly if they were to stop anymore Frost Beasts from leaking through. A familiar feeling of unease washed over the Trickster once more as he stopped right in front of the ships exit.

Loki waved his hand to signal the fleet to prepare for stepping foot outside of the ship. With haste, everyone put their anti-cold suits on and awaited Loki’s next order. “Someone needs to stay close to the ship just in case things go wrong.” One of the crew members whispered. Brand raised his hand, “I will volunteer to stay with the pilot and give the signal.” The Prince nodded in agreement as the thought of the little girl, Brands daughter Lorraine, crossed his mind. He shook his head gently, why was he even concerned about that? He shouldn’t care that much. The pilot nodded, pressing the button as the door slowly opened with some difficulty due to how strong the winds were. Loki grabbed Astrid’s hand again, whispering to her “Stay close to me.” The brunette girl squeezed his hand in reply, not even wanting to go anywhere else but his side. Almost immediately, Loki’s skin changed from it’s pale ivory tone to sapphire. Brilliant lines stood out on his blue skin and his crimson eyes seemed to pierce through anything. Astrid found herself staring at her husband in awe, captivated by how breathtaking she found him. This was indeed a rare sight as Loki almost always refused to show his true form. “Are you alright, my love?” Astrid flinched a little as she was brought out from her stare. She nodded, giving him a smile “You’re beautiful.” Her cheeks were a light shade of pink under her helmet.

His own cheeks darkened slightly from her comment and he felt a warm stirring inside of his chest. Images of her with that same blush, only more deep, flashed in his mind. She was writhing beneath him, panting, crying out his name- “Laufeyson.” He was brought back down by one of the agents impatient tone. What the hell was going on with him? To make matters worse, he felt a growing tightness in his pants... Not good. It couldn’t be mating season for the Frost Giants already, couldn’t it? Loki did his best to distract himself from that theory by leading the team behind a pillar of frozen rock. “There.” He nodded his head toward a visible hole in the atmosphere, Frost Beasts going in and being sucked into the tear. “Amazing. I’ve never seen anything like this!” One of the crew tried to push past the god to get a closer look, mistakenly placing a hand on the small of Astrid’s back. The agent was then firmly slammed against the pillar with a snarling Trickster leering at him. “You do not lay a hand on my wife!” He hissed at the agent, tightening his grip. “Loki let him go! It was an accident.” The brunette placed a gentle hand on her husbands back, getting him to do so.

Rightfully so, the agent was a bit more than upset at this sudden action. “What the fuck is wrong with you!? Maybe we should have brought Thor instead of this untrustworthy criminal!!” The agents voice became louder out of anger. “Travis! Shut up!!” Another agent grabbed the agent known as Travis’s shoulder and shook him aggressively. Ignoring the commotion, Loki’s now larger form loomed over Astrid’s, his eyes glazed over. “Are you alright, my dove?” He wanted to take that damn helmet off to feel her skin. She nodded, her brows scrunched in confusion “Baby, are you ok? Maybe we should contact Brand and get him to send for back up.” She reached up and did what Loki had wanted to do to her. The Prince’s large hand held her smaller one to his face as he still looked into her eyes. “That is unnecessary to call for reinforcements...” He walked closer until Astrid was pinned against the wall, her eyes full of fear instead of confusion. She had not the slightest idea what suddenly came over her beloved, but he had to stop it now. “Loki we should really call for back up, you’re not yourself.” She removed her hand from his grip and placed both of her hands on his chest. Her breath picked up and eyes became wide as he tried to take the helmet off, “Loki stop!!” she tried so hard not to scream.

Just as he was about to take it off, one of the agents let out a scream of terror that was followed by a ferocious roar. Whipping around, Loki saw the agents being mauled to bits by 2 Frost Beasts who had stalked them down. “This is your fault!!” Travis pointed to Loki, blood splattering in the helmet as one of the beasts chomped down on his lower half. The sight caused Astrid to yelp in horror and grab onto Loki tightly. “Brand!!” The prince pressed in on his ear piece as his mind was out of that amorous fog it had previously been clouded by. “Brand come in!!” His jaw clenched, his eyes focused on the beasts approaching. “Your highness! We heard screaming! We are on our way-” , “No!! You will call for reinforcements from my brother and get out of here NOW.” Loki scooped Astrid up in his arms without warning and sprint for the dark, dense wood. At least the stubbornly thick trunks of the frozen trees would slow the beasts pursuing just a little. A loud roar of an engine blasted to life as Brand and the pilot had done as they were told, nearly missing the tear.

As long as they reached Earth safely, then Thor would be here in no time... At least Loki had hoped. In truth, he didn’t know how many beasts could have crossed the realm at this point. “LOKI!!” Astrid screamed as a large clawed foot came down on the both of them. It was too late for the Trickster to make any proper move and Astrid was knocked from his arms. He looked up after the initial impact, frantically searching for his wife until his heart almost stopped. The prince did indeed spot her, but her long brown hair was spread out and her helmet missing. Loki leapt up, rushing over to her and hoisting her back into his arms. Her cheeks and nose were bright red with a nice cut on her forehead to match. “Shit!!” He held the unconscious woman to his body close, hearing the beasts approaching faster than he would like. As if it wasn’t hard already, spears began to fly out of no where. Thankfully, the beasts became distracted by the new intruders and gave Loki time to escape. However, the spears continued to fly in his direction and nearly hit he and Astrid both. The Trickster ripped one of the spears from the ground as he fled, still clutching the woman in his arms tightly.

Loki ran for what seemed like a while and after a brief period of time, the spears stopped. Relief washed over him as he saw an abandoned Jotun village in sight. These structures were built into the mountain and were questionable when stability was considered; but it would have to do. If they were lucky enough, this settlement would have a natural hot spring inside as well. Hastily, he entered in the cave and found that luck was on their side after all. In the cave, there were used furs, baskets that had not been touched for quite some time, some pillows, a few spears similar to the one Loki had grabbed, a hot spring and a fire pit. “Mother, if you lead us here... Thank you.” He let out an exhausted sigh as he carefully set Astrid down on the furs and adjusted them to keep her warm. His touch against her slowly warming cheek lingered a bit longer than he wanted and the unwelcome arousing thoughts returned. Loki felt his cock harden painfully to the idea of stripping the resting brunette from her suit and ravaging her mortal body. “No.” He swallowed, looking away from his wife before getting up. “I will not do that to her.” He scolded himself and took a deep breath. Perhaps scouting the area would get his mind off of these intrusive perversions.

As the prince examined the area, he found quite a few useful tools and ancient artifacts of the people who once lived here. Loki looked down at his hand, noticing he was still blue and tried to shift back to his Aesir form. No such luck. Not only that, but his length was still throbbing with desperate need. He sighed in great irritation and frustration as he concluded it was indeed mating season. “Great.” He ran one of his hands down his blue ridged face. How in the hell was he supposed to protect Astrid from everything on this forsaken planet when he was also one of those dangers? Thor and company could not come any faster or get that damn portal shut; he hoped Brand made it back. His body froze in place as he heard movement coming from where he had placed Astrid. As quietly as he could, Loki crept from the other side of the cavern and almost moaned at the sight. The girl had indeed awakened and was completely naked in the spring, warming herself up. She looked ethereal to the prince with how her skin shined with droplets of water and her long hair floating effortlessly when she sat down.

“She is ready, rightful king.”

Loki jumped slightly from the sudden voice, looking around to see where it came from.

“Do not be stupid, boy. It is your own feral side speaking with you. She cannot hear me.”

He let a shaky breath out, closing his red eyes and attempting to calm his mind and hormones.

“I know you can smell her, she is ripe and ready to be bred. Her hips are so deliciously worthy of child bearing. You will submit in the end... I know how badly you want her in that regard, I have seen your thoughts of her full with your child-”

“Enough.” He whispered to himself, grabbing his head as it began to throb. “I will not do that to her.”

“Baby? Are you ok?” Astrid’s sweet voice captured the prince’s attention.

Her body stood half out of the water, allowing him a view of her breasts, abdomen, hips...

The voice chuckled darkly inside of his head “Baby? Hmmm... She calls you what she has craved to give you all this time. How endearing, but yet you hold back... Because you know it will kill her weak mortal body. But you want to fuck her, claim her, breed her and show everyone that she is yours-”

Loki gasped sharply as he felt Astrid touch his cheek and he ripped away, his pants uncomfortably tight. “Hey, what’s wrong?” She rose from the steaming waters to get closer to him. “You’ve been acting so strange ever since we arrived, please tell me. I want to help you.” Her large teal eyes glimmered in the dim light. The prince swallowed hard, looking away from his wife before his natural instincts consumed him. His heart beat faster, blood pounding in his ears loudly the longer he looked away and fought himself. “Y-You need to go. I cannot be near you. Please, Astrid go back where I had placed you and rest.” His voice was hoarse from the panting he hadn’t realized he was doing. “I’m not leaving you. If you’re hurt please tell me-” She stopped, stepping back as Loki stood with his full height over her. “I will hurt you if you continue to be near me. Now go.” He spoke through his teeth, watching the frightened girl make her way back to the furs and wrapping herself in them; not bothering to put her undergarments or suit back on.

“I....” He started, turning away from her and picking up one of the Jotun spears. “I am going to hunt. I will try to be back as soon as I can, so please just.. Just do not leave this cave.” Loki ran a hand through his dark locks, exhaling loudly before exiting the cavern. Astrid blinked a few times, pulling the furs a little tighter to her body and laying down upon the oddly comfortable pillows. She watched the bonfire until her eyelids became heavy and sleep claimed her tired form.

For at least what seemed like an hour or two, Loki had been successful in hunting a few small creatures that were similar to rabbits. During this time, that awful voice had left him alone and it gave Loki some clarity to think. He glanced at the sky and saw no sign of back up arriving as the tear was still pulling energy into it like a black hole. What kind of trap or battle tactic was this? Sure, Thanos had managed to get Loki alone per say, but made no sudden attack yet. Was this all just an assumption that the Mad Titan was behind it? He already had terrifying numbers for his army, what more did he possibly need and why Jotunheim of all places? The dark haired prince shook his head, shrugging to his own questions before turning around to head back. A sharp thudding pain returned to his head after he thought he had finally been rid of this nasty headache. “Damn it.” He leaned against a tree, grabbing his forehead and squeezing his eyes shut. Along with this upper pain, the lower pain also made itself obviously present. He glanced down at the large bulge in his trousers and whined from how badly his cock throbbed.

“You have what you need, now go and take what is yours.”

The voice returned with an even louder presence.

“You will not gain anything from ignoring your prowess; you will continue to suffer more the longer you fight until you cannot do so anymore. Succumb to it. Breed her and take what is yours!... If you do not, then I will and there is no such thing as being gentle with me.”

“Alright!! I-I’ll do it!!” Loki felt a wetness slide down his cheek. The thought of hurting Astrid was destroying him. The thought of her dying because of what he did to her-

“Just agreeing with me will not do. So unless you want me to take over for you, then I suggest you give into your bodies primal need. This is the last time I will give you leeway before I take control.”

Letting out a weak sob, Loki trudged forth whilst dragging his kills behind him in the snow. His body ached so badly for release and freedom from this torment, but Loki knew how breeding worked and he was terrified. Astrid would be subjected to almost a week of non stop fucking until he was certain she would fall pregnant with his child. As much as he wanted to literally drag his feet and get to the cave as slowly as possibly, his body would not allow it. Within minutes, he was back inside and shedding his armor rather roughly. He had to do this lest that dark side of his do something he would regret. Once he removed everything, Loki winced at the painful pulse that throbbed through his aching member; pre-cum dripping from the angry dark blue head. Supper would have to wait for now, or at least he hoped they would get a chance to get some type of nourishment. He walked over to the sleeping girl and noticed her phone. Perhaps by some odd chance, she would have a signal? He picked it up to test that theory, but no such luck. However, something else caught his attention... She had a period tracking app. He touched the screen, opening the app and feeling his cock throb again as he read that this time she was most fertile.

His nostrils flared as he tossed the phone aside, the screen shattering in the process. She could get a new one later if help arrived quickly. Loki crawled over the sleeping girl and peeled the furs away from her naked body. A growl ripped through his chest, startling Astrid awake. Her lips parted slightly as she wanted to say something, but lost the words. The brunette let out a squeal as the god above her pinned her wrists to the make shift bed. “Loki stop. You’re scaring me.” She whimpered, breath picking up quickly. He did not respond but instead, leaned forward and captured her lips in a sloppy kiss. Astrid’s squirming of protest and small whines only made Loki want her more while she was beneath him. “Loki, stop!!” She gasps, giving a small sob as she felt his teeth sink into the flesh of her neck. This wasn’t the man she married; this wasn’t her Loki. Flashbacks to that day he tried to assault her began to play in her head, and with all her might; she shoved the god off of her and scrambled up. Astrid struggled to crawl to a near by corner of the cave, her chest rising up and down quickly.

The god growled out of vexation, quickly rising to his feet and sauntering to the trembling girl. Astrid noticed his dripping cock, her body betraying her by shooting heat to her lower lips. He was HUGE. This was not to say Loki was not well endowed, because he very much was. However, in this form his length had not only gained an inch or two but also had become more thick. He was going to split her in half with that monster between his legs. Astrid turned her gaze back up to his and held eye contact. Once Loki saw tears slide down her face, he briefly snapped out of his aroused state and knelt down. “Pet... Oh Norns.. I-I’ve scared you, haven’t I?” He cursed himself for doing so. She was still too shaken to say anything but gave him a small nod, curling in on herself. “Astrid.” He gently took her arm, pulling the hesitant woman to him. “I need you, please.” His forehead pressed upon hers and his eyes shut. Astrid began to calm down, sensing that this was not his fault at all and released a shaky breath. Loki’s head began to throb once again, the threat of that dark side of him rearing it’s ugly claws. “Listen to me.” His lip twitched, fighting that voice off as best as he could. “F-For the next week I need to breed you.” Loki felt like wanting to die saying that sentence.

Astrid gaped, her heart racing at what he just said. “But I thought-” She was silenced with a needy kiss. “My feelings about that remain unchanged, but for the time being,” He looked at her “I need you to endure me. I understand you are mortal and have needs. I will do my best to let you eat, sleep, bathe and relieve yourself but I will not stop fucking you. Not until I am sated and positive that.. That you are with child.” defeat laced his voice. Astrid removed her forehead from his, lifting his chin gently to look at her as he had cast his gaze aside. “I love you, Loki. I love you with every fiber of my being.” Her hands moved to cup his face, her thumbs stroking his sharp cheek bones. “I know you know how I feel about it but, we can work something out if anything happens....” Astrid smiled softly, placing a smooch to his forehead before continuing with a nervous look in her eyes. “I will do this, for you but I-I need you to promise me something. If I do end up..” She began to choke up. “I want to keep it. I’m contradicting myself by saying this but Loki.. I love you so much and I want to give you a family of your own. I want to have children with you and raise them together-”

The woman is cut off by Loki scooping her into his grasp and going back to the furs, placing her down on them. “You are so willing and ready to carry my child-” He growled, nipping at her neck. “Yes I- O-Oh Loki!” Astrid moans, breath hitching as she felt his fingers stroke her clit in small circles. She felt his cold lips trail down her collar bone to her breasts, taking a hardened bud into his mouth. Her back arched slightly into him as he sucked and kissed at her breasts hungrily. “I cannot wait to see these swell with milk for our child.” He growled out, abandoning her pearl in favor of kneading her fleshy mounds. “I have dreamt about taking you like this and feeling your quim flutter around my cock as you scream for more.” He reached down, chuckling as he felt how wet she had become just from dirty talk. “My, my... I’ve barely touched you and here you lay, your tight pussy dripping with desire from my words.” He slides two of his slender digits inside of her, drinking in the sound of her moans. Loki hummed at how her walls clenched around his fingers as he pushed them in and out.

“F-Fuck!! Loki!” Astrid whines, throwing her head back as she feels him add a third finger in preparation for his length. She panted loudly, her hips bucking upwards for more friction. Loki grinned at her movements, his thumb now applying pressure to her clit as he continued to finger her. “Look at you, bucking your hips. My fingers feel good, don’t they? Mmm yes, but nothing quite like what I am about to give you.” He pulled his fingers from her cunt, slurping her essence off of his fingers crudely. The brunette whines, she was so close to orgasm before he had to- Oh.

A new pressure stretches her walls, making her gasp a little out of surprise and a bit of pain. “You’re so tight.” Loki moans into her ear, pushing his hips forward into her heat. He does not have time to go slow or slow down for her, his instincts were kicking in. Both of them stilled for a moment in equally and impatiently panting messes before the prince bottomed out and withdrew completely from her before slamming his cock back in hard. Astrid’s nails sunk into her lovers back as his pace was brutal. His hips slammed into her and he growled into the side of her neck, biting the junction where her neck and shoulder met. “You’re g-going to tear me in half!!” The brunette held onto the god for dear life, her whimpers loud from pain and pleasure. It was all too much and had Astrid thinking second thoughts, but it was too late for that. There was no going back and no escaping a horny Jotun male needing to breed.

Loki made a noise somewhere between a whine and a moan as his hips stuttered, spilling his seed inside of her. Astrid moaned at the feeling of his hot seed filling her up, but yelped as she felt him start to jackhammer into her again. He wrapped one of his large hands around her slender neck, staring down at her through animalistic eyes. One of her hands grasped at his wrist lightly in case she needed to signal him when she was at her limit. Astrid’s airflow was cut off, her pussy clenching down on Loki’s cock and milking him on his way to another orgasm. “Mmm my little cock slut.” His voice was rough, heavy with desire. He reached down with his freehand, playing with her clit and laughing as he watched her squirm from overstimulation. Loki squeezed her neck harder and brought her to the edge of sweet bliss as he thrust into her. “Cum. Now.” He ordered, releasing her neck and watching his wife come undone on his cock. There was a sudden glint of fluid that escaped Astrid while she came, Loki had managed to make her squirt.

His pupils widened at this and he came on the spot, groaning loudly. Again, Astrid whined from the ropes of cum he shot inside of her. The girl panted hard, her limbs quivering and exhaustion not too far behind. Loki pulled his rock hard member out of her, placing her on her hands and knees. He watched as his cum dripped from her reddened cunt, making him lick his lips. “Ah!” Astrid jolted forth slightly from Loki entering her again. His pace remained the same and the sound of their fluids smacking together bounced off the walls. The brunette squeaked as a strong grip pulled her back flush to the prince’s chest, his breath hot on her ear. “Such a good girl taking my cock like this, my sweet girl.” He moaned into her hair, breathing in her scent and growling. While his right arm held her against his lithe torso, his left hand traveled back down to play with her sensitive nub. “Oh my god!! L-Loki I’m still sensitive!!” Astrid cried out, her legs spreading a little wider and shaking. It was not long before he had her coming hard over and over again. He would not relent or back off to let her rest as his hormones raged.

Loki took her hand, placing it over her womb and grinning “Do you feel it? My cock fucking you? Burying my cum deep inside you?”

“Y-Yes” she said breathlessly as her husband continued to pound away.

“Yes what?” He growled

“Yes, my king!!” Astrid’s mouth fell open and her clit throbbed from overwhelming pleasure as another orgasm ripped through her tired body. Her eyes were so heavy and her core already ached from the relentless abuse. Astrid tensed up slightly as she felt his fingers on her clit again and another large amount of his cum spilling inside her. “T-Too much!! Too much!! Loki let me rest! Please!” She whined, gasping as he pulled out of her. Astrid was spent. She could not move at all and sleep begged to claim her. “Please.. Let me-Mmm!” She winced, feeling his cock slide back into her but Loki unmoving. “I-I’m sorry my love.” He panted into her ear, cock twitching inside of her. “I will allow you to rest for a bit until I can no longer take it. I am so sorry.” He buried his face into her long, now slightly dampened hair as he curled his body around hers. Loki would certainly try his best to give Astrid what she had required, but the voice still nagged in the back of his mind.

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“Brother?!” Thor called out into the cave and made his way in.

His cheeks turned a deep shade of pink as he heard panting, moaning, and skin slapping against skin. As he walked into the room, he immediately regretted the decision as he witnessed Loki holding a very limp and exhausted, yet still coherent, Astrid. With a final cry, Loki spent the last of his seed and energy inside of his wife, collapsing on top of her and his Aesir form returning.

“Hey, buddy what’s going on in here?” Bruce had attempted to poke his head in but Thor quickly pushed him out, his pants embarrassingly tight. “Er, my brother and Lady Astrid have been fornicating. Let us just be thankful that Stark is not here.” He gave the doctor a sheepish smile. Bruce felt his cheeks become a bit warm, “Right, right. Ahem,” He cleared his throat “Well it has been about a week and a half and I know they’re married so I can’t say I blame ‘em.” He coughed again, wanting to get the show on the road. “Oh for the love of- I’ll go get them.” Brunhilde scoffed, rolling her eyes and walking in to retrieve the debilitated couple. Thor gave yet another awkward smile, “That is exactly the issue, Banner. Loki is a Jotun... He... He has these times where he er, he goes into a..” To save Thor anymore trouble, Bruce waved his hands and nodded “I get it.”

Thankfully, Loki and Astrid remained entwined and unconscious in each others arms the entire ride back. Thor and company had arrived a day or so ago to take care of the portal and find the missing team. The reason why it had taken them a week and a half was due to the Frost Beasts also breeding.

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2 weeks later

“I-It’s negative.” Astrid smiled sadly to Loki, showing him the test stick. His brow raised and he sighed out of relief. Just to make certain, Loki even had Bruce, Doctor Cho and a few Asgardian healers check to be absolutely sure.

“Darling, I know-” The god paused for a moment, thinking of how to word what he wanted to say without causing any grief. “I know that you want to and I am beyond touched that you would go that far for me.” He took her arms gently and rubbed them, “Please understand that I am scared for your safety. We do not have enough research on cross breeding or if you will even survive the pregnancy let alone childbirth. Not to mention Thanos is still actively destroying everything in sight” He paled slightly and shook his head of that thought before looking back into Astrid’s eyes and pushing some hair from the frame of her face. “If I may speak freely, I am terrified that I will be no better than Odin or Laufey. I apologize for withholding information from you, but now you know why I... Why I do not want children.” He quickly placed a kiss on her head. “Be safe and have a good day at work. I will see you later.”

With that, Astrid was left alone and tears sliding down her cheeks. She loved Loki so much and wished he would at least try to understand... But if she had to give up that dream, then she would have to-

“O-Ow..” Astrid bent over all of a sudden, her hand on her scar. She felt.. Cold. She placed her other hand over her womb and felt the same chill. Quickly, she ran to the bathroom in hers and Loki’s shared apartment and turned the light on. Astrid lifted her shirt and saw that the skin where she held her hands was red as if she had laid in the snow. Swallowing hard, she pulled her shirt down and picked the test stick from the trash. It still read negative... “I-I must be imagining things.” She laughed nervously, swiping her clean hand through her hair and turning to wash her hands. As she turned the light off and made her way to work, the test stick changed from negative, to positive.

DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

Man why am I not writing their story out as one big fic? idk. Anyways! I hope you enjoyed this <3 It definitely wasn’t as spicy but eh, I still think it was.

taglist: @lucywrites02

#lokistrid #loki x ofc #loki x oc smut #loki smut #tw: pregnancy #tw: breeding #my writing #mcu loki #mcu oc #writing #loki fanfic #fanfic

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itsuki-minamy · 4 years

Text

“R:B” CHAPTER 8 (Part 1)

TRANSLATION & RAWS: NARU-KUN

* Chapter 1 * Chapter 2 * Chapter 3: Part 1 / Part 2 * Chapter 4: Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 * Chapter 5 * Chapter 6: Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 * Chapter 7

Breathe slowly. The tip of the cigarette burns.

While exhaling smoke, he lifts the finger that clenches the cigarette. A cigarette that he has just started falls under his feet. He tramples it with his foot.

And Suoh releases his "power".

The whole body is engulfed in flames. The swirling column of fire burns around him. An indescribable sense of release fills the cells throughout his body.

Totsuka yelled something, but the voice was burned by the flames and did not reach Suoh.

However,

"Get out of here."

With that said, he calmly stepped forward. The line of sight is not separated from the figure of the King in the distance.

Munakata, on the other hand, had already fixed his point of view on Suoh.

The next moment, the blue aura escapes from the elegant uniform. Countless fine crystals of blue light shine and are reflected in the air. The group of crystals swirls around Munakata as if to praise the power of the king.

In the distance, it looked like a local blizzard or a swirl of thin ice.

Flame and ice.

Destruction and order.

It is seen that they do not fit. That fact now is pretty creepy.

Suoh had already stopped thinking about whether this conflict was correct or not. The limit has already been exceeded. It is a development that was predictable. Then the result will also be inevitable.

He may be responsible for his election as king. What Munakata said about the "responsibility of the king".

However, if he is responsible for his election as king, the Slate that made him king is also responsible. The Golden King who controls the Slate, and the people and society who accept the rule of the Golden King, must be held accountable. He put up with it long enough. Suoh Mikoto's personal "wish" came true. The "result" of that would simply be inevitable and real.

The irritation that had built up, settled, and solidified in place was heated and boiled, and the bubbles of the harsh, destructive impulse burst.

It is impossible to control it anymore and he don't feel like it.

"Everyone, draw your swords!"

A female member who was next to Munakata issued an order. In response, the members in the back draw their swords while calling out to themselves, one after another.

The crunching sound of drawing overlapped and the blades disturbed the reflected light. Swords that touch the sunlight are reminiscent of the brilliance of a school of fish bouncing off the surface of the water.

All members are developing a blue aura similar to Munakata's. The action of drawing the saber is the key, and the "power" is activated. He has interacted with the predecessor "Scepter 4" left by Habari Jin, but it seems that the characteristics of the Clansman have not changed even if the king changes. Defensive battle style. But what about the king himself?

Then, before Suoh watched, Munakata also put his hand on his waist, following his subordinates.

However, Munakata did not draw his sword. He operates the metal clasps to remove the belt from the sword, and carry it in his hand.

Suoh was impressed without knowing it. He knew he didn't like it, but he didn't think it would bother him that much. It is as if Suoh's conscience and reason were educated in advance so that not one millimeter would interfere with complete combustion.

"What's wrong, Munakata? Don't you draw your sword, what's stopping you?"

"A guard baton is more suitable than a military sword for outlaw control. First of all, it is a bit painful to cause a serious injury to a 'senpai'."

Munakata replied coldly.

If this was just a tease, he wouldn't be so upset. It's okay to bet though, but now there's the sword crater case on Munakata's mind. In other words, he is not really motivated.

If he wants to avoid the worst outcome, it is a natural decision as king. No, it doesn't matter if he is a king, anyone who knows the truth of the case must make the same decision. Munakata's purpose is simply to "hold" Suoh while his subordinates secure him.

There is no point in fighting seriously. It is enough to hold it down. So he doesn't draw his sword.

That makes sense. And that theory clearly showed how Munakata esteemed Suoh "lightly" for his intentions and feelings. Since when has it been so fake?

It is unpleasant.

It's not because Suoh is the opponent. Perhaps this man has always been there for it and has built "reasonable" relationships in his life.

After capturing and discussing all the thoughts and actions of the people around him, he analyzes it at one point and eliminate it at another time, leading to the result that he judges the right thing. This is the "ordinary way" of Munakata. Perhaps this man couldn't even imagine the resentment Suoh feels now.

A man who doesn't care about other people's little "self-esteem" in the face of his "correction".

It is interesting.

It is so interesting that the intestines boil. This is the first time he has felt this way.

"Totsuka. Take them and go to Kusanagi."

"King?!"

"By the way, call other people. I can't show up there at the moment. The Blues must be handled by you."

There was a sign that Totsuka was rushing behind him. Although the Totsuka escape is a first-class item, it has a pair with Yamata, and that number is unreasonable to the other party. They will need some time to escape.

When Munakata looked back at his subordinates, the members became nervous for Suoh, but they didn't seem to be scared and had a fighting spirit. They are quite motivated to be a newly established unit.

But they are still newbies.

Suoh raised his right arm high so they could see him well from there. Munakata's expression changes. However, the members are only watching, although they are cautious.

Suoh snorted and lowered his arm toward the unit.

The pillar of fire that had risen from Suoh rose in the shadows and fell on the heads of the limbs like a dragon that fluttered, stretched and leaped.

"Eh?! Strengthen the barrier."

Immediately after the female member screamed, the unit was swallowed up by the flame with the scream. The surface of the asphalt melts with a sizzle and red-swaying heat waves erupt.

Flames and roars crawl down the street and spread radially. Suoh calmly let himself be carried away after the flames he had released.

But the next moment, the spreading flame was swept away by the blue light.

A cold, hard light appears like a blue ice mine in the center of the sea of flames that filled the streets. The huge barrier, which contained all the members of the two platoons inside, pierced through the sea of fire. Even after the flame is completely extinguished, it glows as if nothing happened.

"Surprising."

Munakata keeps the sword still in the scabbard sticking out to the side as a unit.

"The Red King, who is proud of his power and rumored to target the clan member first. In fact, is your hobby stalking the weak?"

It's hard to see such a graceful laugh. The king who protects his subordinates instantly looks at Suoh with an icy gaze.

Suoh snorts.

"I don't believe in the line of a bastard who brings his minions to win a fight."

"Hmm? Oh, I see. Want time to let your friends get away? It's a complicated friendship."

Munakata shot his gaze behind Suoh. Apparently Totsuka did not miss the opportunity Suoh gave him and left the battlefield along with Yamata and the other two immature Strains, it is a true escape.

"However, we have already deployed troops to this area. I would like you to 'cooperate' before things get too big."

"During this period, "cooperation" is a big problem. Does the barrier you are proud of work on that?"

"It's kindness. The proud Red King can always excuse himself."

“Let's talk about teaching, Munakata. If you only care about your upper body and your body, you will lead a boring life."

"I don't think it's the line of someone who lives like a stray after eating and sleeping."

Munakata's vocabulary is not altered. Suoh laughed softly. It's really exciting.

"It's good to keep you waiting every time, but if you can't beat it, isn't it free?"

"Oh, that's very unfortunate, but it's an unnecessary concern, although I don't think it's going to meet your expectations."

When Munakata said that, he waved the sword, saying that playful words would be good.

"Awashima-kun. Retreat and pursue them before they escape."

"Yes!"

The female member replied, although she was still a bit upset. She immediately looks back at the unit and gives instructions.

After all, it seems that high morale is not bad. He wants to stop it a little longer just in case. Suoh manipulates the "power" to knead the flame at once.

However, before that, the Munakata barrier that had developed exploded.

Then, Munakata with a condensed aura closes the distance in an instant. He pushes the tip of the pod with that cool look.

A light and elegant stroke. However, the shock transmitted by both arms protected at the same time far exceeded Suoh's expectations.

Involuntarily look into his eyes.

"Eh?"

Sparks fluttered like an explosion at the Blue King's strike.

Some of the "power" that was being released is dispersed. The moment he thought he would push back Munakata's attack as he gathered up the rest and increased the output, the "power" he put in slipped. In the exquisite moment when Suoh's immediate revulsion was expected, Munakata changed his body and made "power". Manipulate the sword to flow as it is and to stop Suoh's foot with a sheath.

About to charge, he cut the backhand without thinking. When the top and bottom were reversed, he felt it was unpleasant, but he couldn't make it in time. He increases the output of "power" and solidify it without releasing it.

Just before landing, Munakata's pursuit reached the clear target. A sword that hasn't even been drawn hits him gracefully. He received "power", but could not bear it. Suoh flew out like a meteor, with the tail of the flame waving.

++++++++++

A great shock. After smashing the window, Suoh rushed into the store on the first floor of the building. Flames and dust are pouring out of a broken window. It's like firing a bazooka cannon.

Munakata slightly flips the hem of the uniform. All good. And he turned the saber that was still in the scabbard.

Take the first step for now. During this time, Awashima's troops also completed their exit from the street. After that, as per the instructions, they should start chasing Yamata and the others.

There are troops in the vicinity. He told Suoh, but he has to admit that the advantage of the land is with the enemy "Homura", whose roots are in the city of Shizume-cho. It is a situation that requires quick action.

Fortunately, unlike "Scepter 4", "Homura" is just a "group" of clan members.

It is not an "organization". If the person facing the situation does not respond immediately and correctly, or if there is no one to take the initiative instead of the command, it will not work as a whole. Especially in the current situation where the scale is swollen, the footwork should be fatally heavy. It will not be possible to work together in a short period of time. There are many opportunities to take advantage of.

However, the competence of the upper limbs surpasses that of the inexperienced Swordsmen Mobile Division.

After all, it was desirable to carry out the mission quickly and withdraw before the "Homura" was online.

When it comes down to it, the troublesome thing is Suoh. As he could see in the previous act, if he feels like it, he can control the swordsmen alone. He wanted to keep it quiet, even temporarily, to prevent it from happening.

Well, when it comes down to it, he has to do something.

Considering Kagutsu's case, he would like to avoid hitting him head-on to eliminate the possibility. So how does he neutralize it with his own hands? Munakata takes on a number of tactics, compares and examines them beforehand.

When…

Although extremely rare, Munakata doubted his ears at the time.

He hears laughter. A deep, low voice. While angry, laugh because it can't be helped at the same time.

When he saw it, the tent Suoh moved was lush. The inside of the store heats up over high heat and everything starts to melt. A scene as if he were looking at the crater of an active volcano. And from the bottom of the boiling magma, the figure of a man appeared.

The sound is sharp and fierce, the intense heat that it generates, glow several times more than the fire it carries.

"It's discovered." Suoh said.

"What you did isn't bad. I see, it's more than I bargained for. Well done, Munakata."

Then a cold stream ran down his spine.

He clicked his tongue involuntarily. He frowned slightly as if it were a failure.

Perhaps he should have dared to handle it comfortably while suppressing the "power". It went straight on because it was meant to protect Awashima and the others. As a result, he appears to have set the troublesome king on fire. Tired of the hassle of putting out the fire, Munakata silently repositions the remaining sword in the scabbard.

Wait for Suoh's next attack. He prepares for multiple cases, selects the most efficient response for each, and prepares for the circumference with perfect posture.

However…

Suddenly, he realizes. Goosebumps.

"Come on?"

The flame swirls.

Suoh, who turned into a fire bullet, rushed inside with a smile on his face. Directly in front. It's stupid, Munakata develops a blue barrier. Focus the "power" forward. However, Suoh doesn't care at all and doesn't stop.

He compresses the flame with a fist that pulls on his arm and squeezes it. As if shooting an arrow from a tied bow, pull out his fist and release the flame. Munakata takes a hit and repels it.

Tries. The moment of impact was difficult to describe. It is heavy without any preparation.

He stepped on it instantly, but it was carried along with the barrier. Suoh's fist pushes Munakata away as he deploys the barrier.

"Eh?!"

Take it easy. As he said to himself, the moment he brought out more "power", Suoh's pressure disappeared.

He saw it.

Suoh's spinning kick erupted from Munakata's left side, who had lost the spot to bring "power". In addition, it penetrates.

Suoh's kick broke through Munakata's barrier as if shaking a large snake. It was almost a coincidence that he was able to react. The torrent of destruction escapes with the urge to grab the ends of the hair above Munakata, who ducked and dodged. The crushed barrier and the erupting flame flew diagonally upward, engaging the atmosphere. It's like a jet of "power."

With a slap, Munakata shines on Suoh's shaft with the sheath. But it can't hit. Suoh, who was reading the movements, accumulated "power" in his legs and received the blow from Munakata that released him in a forced posture. Also, the kicked right foot falls vertically when Munakata's movement stops after being struck by a foot.

Falls off. Munakata holds the saber horizontally with both hands.

"Eh?"

It was a shock as if he had received a stone. A roaring heat wave breaks through the reflexively readjusted barrier. The bright red aura turned into a shower and fell onto "Scepter 4's" uniform.

Also, it's not over yet.

Suoh stretches his body quickly the moment Munakata is hit by the impact. And, with almost no change in posture, this time he steps on it with the sole of the shoe instead of striking.

They collide again. Also, this time, the "power" cannot be lost. It is trampled from above as it is, and intense pressure is applied.

Munakata crouched down and was pinned to the spot with the scabbard raised above his head.

"Huh, this is the new king? More souvenirs."

Despite the absence, the peripheries were steadily increasing the pressure. Stomping with tremendous "power". The crouched asphalt broke and Munakata's lower body collapsed. It is difficult to get rid of it. He seems crushed the moment he relaxes.

A big smile appeared on Suoh Mikoto's lips.

This signifies the authority of the king.

It is interesting. Munakata opened his eyes

Concentrates and temporarily increases "power" output. He resisted the pressure from above, pushed back, and jumped back hard when balanced. Suoh's right foot, which has lost support, falls. The flame that had grown from the sole of the shoe exploded, scattered, and shot out.

Suoh, who broke the path in front of Munakata, who quickly regained his position, raised his face with a smile.

"It's a good move to turn it into intoxicating intelligence."

Munakata corrected the position of his glasses with the tips of his fingers.

"You also played vulgar footwork as a bully."

Immediately after saying it, he turns to attack this time.

As expected, he is the Red King, and it is difficult to easily suppress the force of Suoh's "power". In that case, it is a good idea to always take the initiative and control the battle itself.

Determine the distance between him and Suoh, and jump to the last minute line immediately. It puts the urge to step on the ground as it is and pushes the tip of the pod. Suoh rocks back. Followed by that, take another step, hit back and attack.

However, the moment Suoh pierced through the sword and advanced, Munakata took a sharp step back and kept his distance from Suoh. It's a spin that takes full advantage of the range difference using the sword against Suoh. If Suoh shows any signs of approaching, he will immediately check with his sword.

Keep calm and protect himself. Like a fighter fighting a bull, he not only controls himself, but Suoh's position and movement as well.

The "power" was in every move. The blue crystals, like grains of light, flutter at high speed as Munakata moves. Suoh's red flame also jumped to respond and collided with the crystal.

Munakata controlled the space and put a burden on Suoh's movement. However, the flame burns the crystal and keeps the Blue King away. "Power" and "power" mix and there is a constant revulsion. Each time the two repeated offense and defense, each other's aura drew a complicated pattern, and one after another, supernatural art was drawn in space.

However…

"... You're lazy." Suoh said.

"You're playing, huh!"

Suoh, who saw that Munakata was unwilling to attack, casually stepped forward. There are many loopholes. However, Munakata does not accept the provocation and backs off as much as he can. Suoh who wants to chase more. Take distance from Munakata and jump.

In that instant, he pivoted down from the forward-bent posture that he tried to pursue. Hit the asphalt with his fist.

It's a hit with "power". Radial cracks roar through the asphalt. Furthermore, the flame penetrated the ground and exploded underground for the next moment.

A terrible fright ran.

The surface of the street ripples and the whole area rocks like an earthquake. Sparks shot from cracks in the street.

People flee in terror, trees and street lights bow and signs fall. The moment Munakata jumped up, Suoh's kicking foot was projected like a hard spear with spikes of fire as he was suddenly struck and broke his landing balance.

He barely received it with the pod while he was out of shape. The feeling of receiving it makes he cold. Breaks. Munakata reflexively controls the surrounding space. While holding the pod diagonally, instead of stopping the impact of the kick, he stop it diagonally backwards. But it is not easy. It is a terrible response that can be transmitted to both hands. The "power" sliding through the sheath was like deflecting the torrent with a single rod.

"Power" hard and fresh.

However, it goes without saying that getting it done is not the Munakata style.

Munakata fine-tunes the direction of the stop. Confront Suoh as he flows and instead keep going. Immediately after Suoh realized it, Munakata took out the scabbard and squirmed in reaction.

Turn sharply with the minimum radius and hit the handle of the sword. Suoh suddenly bent his arm to protect himself, but a small but strong blow allowed the impact to penetrate the guard. Suoh's upper body shakes with an "Uh?!"

The barrier shrinks at once in that gap.

Strengthen the whole body with high-density "power", kick with the foot.

The impact that rises from the sole of the foot is transmitted to the trunk in a spiral and is amplified. There is no time or space to use swords and weapons. When the impact hits the shoulder, he changes it into a punch and performs a shoulder attack. It is a "summoning" technique in Chinese martial arts. Despite being almost in close contact, the tremendous attacking force that broke through did not allow for any defense and struck Suoh's body.

Suoh coughs, crunches, and walks away. He barely steps on it, but immediately after that, he can't stand it and collapses, hitting one knee.

The flames Suoh was carrying weakened the fire for the first time. It is an opportunity. If he bends it and take away his conscience, he can remove the annoying Red King element from the situation. By the time he decided that, Munakata had already kicked the trail and was getting closer.

The target is the tip of the chin. It shakes its head from inertia, not from the lightness of the damage, and causes brain tremors to make physical function addictive. It is not power that is needed for that. It's uncut speed and precision through the needle holes. But first he need to seal the opponent's guard.

Munakata raised the sword. Suoh, who got his knee pierced, is ready to be cut. However, this is a momentary pause. Head to Suoh's guard and strike as if hitting a hole. 90% of this time is decided. He was convinced of that.

Suoh didn't hold back.

Munakata's sword is aimed at the neck. The flame surrounding Suoh is torn apart by the pressure of the sword, and the blue aura released from the sheath penetrates into Suoh's body.

Come in decently.

The moment he was shocked that he made a mistake or did not have room to defend himself, the sword he is trying to pull was firmly challenged and stopped working.

Suoh, who was hit, grabbed the tip of the pod. He dared to receive it for this reason.

Munakata clicks his tongue again. He instantly changes stance and prepares for Suoh's counterattack.

But no counterattack came.

Suoh slowly stood up, holding the scabbard.

"So…"

A hot but cold gaze penetrates Munakata up close.

"You are lazy."

A flame erupted from Suoh's entire body like an explosion.

A raging flame in front of him burns his skin mercilessly. Munakata twisted the handle of the sword while frowning. He removes the scabbard from Suoh's hand and jumps back a lot. Suoh's chase will not return. If so, does the damage remain as is? He honestly can't help but go crazy for Suoh, who had a fighting style that made no sense.

Once again, Munakata and Suoh face off at a distance.

However, it is bad. There is no cut in this.

Looking around again, the shopping street with the two of them was exposed to the devastation of a disaster. The damage to the surrounding area was calculated to some extent, but it was not intended to cause such terrible damage.

The most debatable is that, by doing so much damage, no results have been achieved.

His heart was filled with bitterness.

It is his mistake.

The Blue King is the guardian of "order." And the reason "order" must be maintained is that it protects people's lives, property and well-being.

A society built by many people who work hard day and night. The power to protect society is nothing but "order". It is mediocre but good parents and siblings who quickly go unnoticed. The lives of people like them, who live every day with constancy and sincerity, cannot be trampled on like paper.

The chaotic and senseless destruction that seems to spread out in front of them was insurmountable for the Blue King, who should be the guardian of "order".

It could have been impatient. Even if moving towards Shizume-cho was an unavoidable problem, he had to be more careful. Munakata admitted his mistake and was warned not to follow the same path again.

And… it's time to round up. He has to judge that.

In other battles, damage to the surrounding area cannot be ignored. Damage to "order" can have a serious impact on social functioning.

Furthermore, there is a possibility that even the danger of the outbreak of royalty will come to light as in the case of Kagutsu.

The mechanism that led to the outbreak of royal power has not been exactly clarified, but there is no doubt that the excessive use of "power" by royal power is an important factor. Of course, he shouldn't have taken unnecessary risks, like now.

"......"

It was a bit of bittersweet sand that he has perhaps only tasted for the first time in his life.

Feeling of defeat.

He didn't want to blame his lack of experience. It is the result of carelessness and the sweetness of the assumption.

Munakata raised his stance and lowered his sword.

Correct the position of the glasses with his finger and take a slow deep breath.

"It's okay."

He tried and calmly said...

"Suoh Mikoto. I lost. I don't want any more fights. For the moment, let's leave those three people in charge of "Homura." This time I'll put it like this "

The other part is just the other part, and it is also uncomfortable. However, it is nothing more than Munakata's feelings. It was not something he should consider now.

Withdrawal of troops and reporting to the relevant parties. He will also need to contact the “Tokijikuin”. In addition to dealing with Yamata Daichi's case in writing, it is necessary to rework the plan to deal with "Homura" after that. As the leader of the newly formed "Scepter 4," and as the new Blue King, he has a lot to do.

But…

Suoh laughed again.

This time, he was filled with rage and even felt hatred.

"You are a funny man, Munakata." Suoh said laughing. Munakata frowned.

Does he plan to approach the negotiations to generate more favorable conditions? It is already clear that Suoh has no qualities as a king. So, he can guess to some extent the objective of a man leading the street gang. Prestige or money? Unexpectedly, it may be the correct response for this man to give some "food" and tame from the side of desire. They can be considered reluctant but effective means.

Munakata thought about that while looking at Suoh who was laughing.

However…

"Oh, this is the first time I've met someone who makes me so mad."

Incorrect.

He realized intuitively. Behind Suoh's eyes was something completely different from what Munakata expected. However, Munakata does not know what it is about.

"Lose? Stop? Hey, good. Do what you want. Is it fair? I'll let you like it too."

Under those words, Suoh's "power" jumped. It also rose explosively.

Munakata narrowed his eyes. It is fundamentally different from the conventional way of issuing "power." It is as if it has come off.

Munakata understands. This is the "royalty" of the "king". The true "power" of the "king".

However, with this, the "Sword of Damocles" appears. Furthermore, Suoh intends to continue the battle as it is.

It is no longer limited to the battle between Suoh Mikoto and Reisi Munakata. The "Sword of Damocles" is a symbol of the "King" and a flag of the Clan. The battle with him is already a "war". In other words, what Suoh is trying to do is equivalent to a "declaration of war" from the red clan to the blue clan.

And above all, it could be the second collapse of the capital.

Munakata is half stunned.

"What an imitation!"

Suoh responds by blowing fire from his mouth, still with a vicious smile.

"What's the knockoff? That's right. It's just a story of trying to hit up a nasty guy."

"What are you planning?"

"I do not know."

Suoh intervened.

At the same time that Munakata develops a barrier, he releases "power" towards Suoh. He creates a barrier by stacking several layers of "power" crystals between him and Suoh.

There was not even a movement to buy time.

Munakata's barrier is removed, squashed and pierced, and Suoh's barrier is thinned in the blink of an eye. It is like a living fireball. Suoh's left hand firmly grasped the sword sheath, like it was a toy. It should be a shock to the bones, but Suoh is still smiling.

He craned his neck and approached Munakata as if biting, sharpening his fangs and pulling him away.

"You do not understand it."

The next moment, Suoh disappeared from view. The fist of fire lifts Munakata up from below, before he realizes he's sunk.

It's a direct hit.

"This?!"

Munakata released "power" with all his might and struck. At the same time, he was pushed upward by the "power", and his feet came off the ground.

The airflow is raging and the heat wave sweeps through the area.

A fierce fire engulfed Suoh and the street temperature rose sharply. The updraft created by the flame continued to blow like a storm.

Suoh is left behind by the action of the matching "power".

And Munakata also flew through the air without any means to do so.

++++++++++

The aftermath of the "power" of the kings, which was still passed down after they left, were powerful enough to attract the blood of Awashima.

The repeated tremors of a while ago do not seem to be natural. What kind of spectacle is spreading now on the battlefield of kings?

"Eh, Lieutenant. That's…?!"

"Don't stop, we just have to do our best!"

Awashima scolded the annoying members, but her chest also got upset.

The Red King who has the "power" of destruction. Perhaps it is just a part of the flame that was glimpsed when the unit left. Awashima doesn't even know the full picture of Suoh's "power". What happens when the two kings collide head-on?

Even if she doesn’t like it, it is the craters that have changed the terrain of the country. Awashima clenches her back teeth.

Too many unexpected things overlap ...

First of all, the fact that Yamata was already protected by the "Homura" executives was separated from the previous information. Yamata must have formed his own group within "Homura" and slipped through his eyes to stay away from the higher ranks. Of course, there was the possibility that the executives would make contact without seeing Yamata's behavior, but at least when Awashima recalled the Munakata meeting, such a move could not be confirmed. If the executives left at the same time, there are many problems.

Also, aside from Totsuka who considers himself one of the team's organizers, it is a complete misunderstanding that even Red King Suoh himself, who should hardly speak of organizational management, appeared on the scene. Why did Suoh intervene this time? He detects that movement, but how?

Also, it is tremendous bad luck for the operation, such as suddenly meeting Suoh. They were in a compromised state, and instead of blocking Suoh's movement, Munakata was also stuck.

The calculation difference is also basic from the initial action.

In this operation, Awashima is aware that she urged Munakata to make the final decision. Even if the final decision was made by Munakata, she couldn't erase the feelings of guilt.

Of course, trust Munakata. He as King will always act calm and make the best decision, no matter how difficult the situation is.

Munakata has the knack to make she think that.

But...

Just as Munakata is king, Suoh is also king. It should mean that there is something "special" that sets them apart from ordinary people regardless of the strength of the "power" like Ex-A ability.

There is no way she can predict the outcome of such a collision between the two kings.

She should be calm.

The "Sword of Damocles" has yet to appear in the sky above the battlefield where Munakata is fighting. This is proof that Munakata does not fight "seriously" and that the last line is protected.

Her task now is to secure two people, Yamata and the Strains, who are fleeing with Totsuka. First of all, Munakata holds Suoh just to allow Awashima and her friends to carry out their duties. If Awashima and the others achieve their goals, the battle between the kings will end at that time. If she wants to relieve her anxiety, she must find Yamata and the others as soon as possible.

However, at this point, not only has the report arrived that Yamata was discovered, but no key information has arrived either.

Awashima had a unit under her command split up and searched the area. However, it remains overwhelmingly insufficient. The start was delayed due to the stagnation of the Red King, but the difference in perception of the place was even greater. It would be nice if she could at least sneak into a nearby surveillance camera, but this time she hasn't gotten legal permission for that and she's not technically prepared enough. Anyway, the situation is too unexpected.

Too,

"Lieutenant Awashima. Report of the 1st and 2nd platoons engaged in the battle with the members. After all, the melee continues and it is difficult to leave the battlefield immediately."

Hold the words that are about to come out.

"All good. At the very least, tell them to prioritize minimizing the damage rather than destroying it. In particular, avoid expanding the front line at all costs."

What is transmitted to the others is the communication from the command information vehicle of "Scepter 4".

Platoons 1 and 2 were Akiyama and Benzai. It is a particularly excellent unit in the Swordsmen Division. The fact that the two corps are involved in an engagement battle and cannot move is a considerable annoyance in this situation where even a little manpower is needed.

In addition, deficiencies in the communication network are also highlighted. Since Munakata has always led himself in dispatches until now, the use of the communication network through the command information vehicle is of course well trained, but the members are not used to it. It was difficult to say that the communication and command system was optimized.

No experience as an organization. Therefore, immaturity is emerging one after another in adversity.

It is bad. If this continues…

While doing this, the fleeing Totsuka and the fighting members of "Homura" may be summoning other members of the clan. Anyway, speed was required in this operation. The longer it lasts, the more serious and disadvantageous the situation becomes. And today there are already clear signs of this.

"We should withdraw..."

"Lieutenant?"

"Nothing."

Awashima shakes her head towards the line that spills out involuntarily. Feel it. Despite being in the position of Lieutenant, she is well aware of how much she depended on Munakata.

Only the royal authority can stop the royal authority. So when kings fight each other, how much the remaining clan can be formed depends on the skill of the person who commands the clan. Awashima squeezed the importance of her rank.

Meanwhile, she comes to a side street.

"Squadron. You guys can proceed as is. Look here."

She gives instructions to the members who accompanied her and they divide in two. There is no unit operation anymore, but it is not the case when they are concerned about the format. Anyway, if they don't find Yamata and the others, nothing will happen.

Awashima ran hard on the street. But at that moment ...

"Lieutenant Awashima. Reported by the Fourth Squad. They discovered Daichi Yamata and are currently tracking him!"

Awashima wore a beautiful appearance when she received the call from the command information vehicle.

"Domyoji Andy, he reported."

Andy Domyoji, the commander of the Fourth Squad, is the youngest boy in the Swordsmen Division, he is only 17 years old. His father was a former member of "Scepter 4" organized by former King Habari Jin, and when Munakata became the new king, his father entrusted him to the group.

Domyoji did a good job.

Domyoji has a wild personality that doesn't fit into the category of youth. Wayward behavior is not suitable for organizational behavior, and it is also a troubled member. On the other hand, his father's trained sword skill is one of the best in the unit, and he has an outstanding sense of manipulating "power." And again, to the point of line-of-sight, leading a team the size of a friendly group of students often yields remarkable results. In particular, the latter was evaluated by Munakata and was designated as the youngest platoon leader.

However, the quality of Domyoji that Awashima most appreciates is that he "succeeds". Whether good or bad, Domyoji has a high probability of winning. He can call it luck or star circle, but those qualities are not available through training. Human resources like Domyoji are extremely grateful to those who command the team in the situation where they want to trap the opponent.

"Apart from Yamata? Is there also Tatara Totsuka?"

"Details are unknown! However, only Yamata was in the report!"

"All good. Immediately dispatch Domyoji's current location. Those who can, immediately go to the scene and secure Yamata with the highest priority."

If Yamata can be held down now, it will still be in time. On the contrary, if she misses this opportunity, it will be a problem.

The location data was sent to the PDA with the signal of the incoming call. Be careful and unfold. Don't let them go far.

"Hurry. Don't let them escape!"

Issuing this order over the intercom link, Awashima started running towards Domyoji.

Immediately after that, the sound of a storm blowing in the background echoed.

When she turned around, she could see a large column of flames spilling over the height of the buildings. Unintentionally awesome. It must be the Red King.

Unorthodox exercise of great "power." Destruction and devastation that infects people. It's an unforgivable show for "Scepter 4," which is dedicated to the beauty of "complete order."

"Damn…"

She has to hurry. It was when she thought and tried to run again.

A blue light flashed overhead.

"Hey?"

"Eh?" She looked up at the sky with wide eyes.

A blue shooting star crossed, as if erasing the height of the building. The bright blue crystals, large and small, are superbly dispersed and coiled in a spiral.

At the top was a young man in a blue uniform and a blue aura.

The young man twists vividly in the air, one might think that a geometric barrier has been erected all over the sky. He landed sideways on a huge sign on the roof of a building that was about to collide.

As it is, this time it slides into the outer wall of the building, and falls to the ground.

While flipping the hem of the uniform, he lands on the street without a problem.

It was Munakata.

Awashima found herself dumbfounded. However, she regained consciousness quickly and tried to run in a hurry.

Wham!

Munakata slammed his left fist against the wall behind him without turning around.

"What the hell is wrong with that man?"

At that moment, Awashima forgot her current mission, position, and situation, and opened her eyes and lips like a normal college student.

But that is not unreasonable. Except for this once, Awashima Seri had never seen Munakata Reisi furious before.

Silence lies between them. After a moment,

"Captain?"

Awashima calls Munakata.

Her tone was not that of an aide to the organization leader addressing her superior officer, nor was it that of a vassal speaking to a beloved king. If a comparison was made, she sounded like a surprised but mature girl beyond her years, speaking to a boy in her class who threw an unexpected childish tantrum.

Munakata released his fist and slowly lowered his arm.

"Excuse me. I was distraught."

Then, he gently repositioned his eyes and placed the sword that was still in the sheath at his waist. His voice and demeanor had already fully returned to Munakata's calm and collected demeanor.

…No.

There was a slight feeling of discomfort. On the surface, it's been completely repaired, but it comes from beneath the disguised courtesy of outrage on the inside.

He did not feel that the "King who was a perfect wall" had collapsed. Instead, it is as if the wax from the hard arms is about to emerge...

"Awashima-kun. What is your situation here?"

"......"

"Awashima-kun?"

"Ah, yes! There was a report that they just found Daichi Yamata! Currently, the fourth platoon is chasing him. Other members are also running towards the scene. However, the first and second platoons found the members. of "Homura" and they are facing them. This is a melee battle!"

In a hurry, she corrects her posture and reports the situation. Munakata looked strictly.

"Okay. Then, I'll go there too. Once Yamata Daichi is captured, call the 1st and 2nd Platoons and retreat. We will resolve this quickly."

"Um..."

Awashima didn't know if she could ask, but she couldn't help but confirm.

"What about Suoh Mikoto?"

She was prepared to be yelled at, but Munakata no longer collapsed at all. He has a cold look like a block of ice.

"There is no change in strategy. The Mobile Swordsman Division should continue to focus on securing Daichi Yamata. I will retain that man."

++++++++++

Kusanagi couldn't help but click her tongue at the pillar of flames rising there.

Of course, it was probably very large. For some time now, the vibrations of the "power" that it emanated were often transmitted to this distant place. In other words, it is proof that Suoh is still fighting.

The problem is the other part.

"Please, Mikoto."

Please just "there" make it different. As he wished it, Kusanagi knew it would be an empty sentence. After all, from Kusanagi's point of view, he's colliding with "Scepter 4" in front of him.

First of all, there are countless opponents who can fight Suoh, they can still fight.

"Uoooooh! Mikoto-san is amazing!"

In the middle of a fierce battle, Yata screams with joy when he sees a pillar of fire piercing the skies. Fushimi quickly turned towards the opponents, but the members of “Scepter 4” were also looking up at the sky and holding their breath.

"Damn. What the hell is going on?"

Suoh began to wield "power" shortly after Kusanagi and his colleagues resumed the fight with "Scepter 4."

For Kusanagi, the battle ahead is just a glimpse of the power of the new "Scepter 4". As soon as he learned that Suoh had started fighting, he ran over there and changed his policy to determine the situation.

However, the unit in front of them is quite tough.

Of course, Yata and Fushimi are unexpectedly heating up, and there is also the aspect that the situation cannot continue like this. But more than that, the enemy forces are tenacious and veteran.

Yata and Fushimi are overwhelming in individual battles. The abilities of the two captains there appear to be close to those of the two, but there was still a distinct "power" difference between the two.

#K #k project #k R:B #suoh mikoto #reisi munakata #homura #scepter 4 #k novel

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primedirection · 5 years

Text

Gray Area- Part 2

Warnings: Angst Drama & a maybe a hint of fluff...

AN:

I had too much fun writing this and it's gonna show. I'm so sorry😅 Enjoy!

To the untrained eye dinner was going on without a hitch. The chatter was buzzing and lighthearted around the table. Attendees were in the best of spirits for camaraderie while drinks were poured before receiving great food. Yet, under the surface, Harry wondered why he even bothered to come at all.

For starters he'd forgotten why he was so excited about it in the first place, its couples night and watching his friends so lovey dovey when going through his own turmoil was a form of exceptional torture he could hardly stand. Which was odd given that he himself was usually a lover of love and absolutely lived for cheek kisses, stolen kisses, full on kisses, hand holding, and meaningful glances between people because he found it so endearing. Especially with you and yet here he was totally miserable inside.

Second, everyone is paired up with the exception of himself and his infamous ex, who's partner also happened to be away for work. So what better way for his friends to rectify their 'loneliness' than by seating them together!

As if on cue at the thought she leaned in close just to mention, "So H, I took a consensus but I'm still waiting for your vote." A mischievous smile painting her lips.

"Ehm, that's great." He had to force himself not to smile awkwardly tight lipped, "Don't think you really need it anyway, m'not really in any place to say." As he immediately dived into the menu, he missed seeing the fallen look on her face. Now it would be even better he couldn't sense it.

Despite feeling completely uncomfortable, Harry made the best effort to remain neutral. Fearing he'd draw unnecessary attention and ruin their nights as well on one hand. Then again on the other he meant what he had said to you, when he'd said that he'd done nothing wrong. So he shouldn't even be feeling any guilt towards her at all.

As far as he was concerned the pictures you 'found' not that they were hidden to begin with, were out of his control. Yes, not all of his friends dressed modestly but it surely wasn't his place to tell them how to live their lives. Everyone should be free to do as they please if it makes them happy and as long as it's not hurting anyone. And yes some old photos were still there only because that's exactly what they were, old. He wasn't trying to keep them as a memento he literally saw them once and never thought about it again. So he honestly felt like there was no point in purposely digging it up and deleting it unless he actually had something to hide.

More importantly, he thought that he'd been astoundingly clear you were the only one that he had eyes for. That there wasn't a single soul on earth, whether fully clothed or completely nude that could break the tether he had to yours. Sometimes like now, it scared and infuriated him to no end when you couldn't see it.

Harry would delete the pictures and block every single contact that you wanted if necessary, but he also had to be realistic. Once irrevocable boundary lines are crossed there is no turning back. He's learned firsthand how unhealthy it is to be a prisoner in your own relationship. When insecurity becomes doubt and doubt becomes paranoia. Worst of all when paranoia delves into control. No one is happy, trust is an insincere joke, love is completely lost, and all that really remains is either becoming or owning an object of property.

Surely this case wasn't that extreme, but he wasn't oblivious to how it starts. However it also wasn't lost on him that you both needed to come to terms of agreement in order to move forward. As long as you were within reason, he'd be able to deal with it and vice versa.

With that being said his urge to be social diminished drastically in comparison to his urge to make things right. Thus why he stopped engaging in everything around him altogether and directed his attention towards finishing up cleaning out the useless junk in his phone. Ensuring that if he ever lost you, it'd never be over something as ridiculous as an outdated picture.

As time went on Harry hadn't even discovered the conversation being drawn to him. He jumped suddenly at the realization Clare had been calling out to him. A soft question finally coming through the loudness of his thoughts. "You good, Har?"

It was also then he noticed that everyone had been watching him pointedly now. Tucking his phone away he forced a strained smile and pushed his fingers through the knots in his hair, feigning nonchalance, "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"Because Y/N is here and you still haven't noticed." Mitch deadpans.

Frowning unsure he heard correctly, Harry's gaze briefly swept the room and his heart almost launched right out of his chest upon laying eyes on you. Approaching stoically, arms crossed even from across the room he could easily tell you are unimpressed by tonight's seating arrangement. He also knew better than anyone that you'd be too polite to bother protesting about it. Eventually he stood and offered you his chair while he quickly found himself another, so stunned by your presence he'd forgotten to greet you properly altogether.

"Hi guys! Sorry I'm late, got a little side tracked on the way here," You openly admit accepting his offer, not in the slightest surprised to see his ex's visible disappointment. All the while everyone else greeted you with heartwarming enthusiasm.

"Glad you're here love," Harry finally spoke with a sincere and appreciative smile, unable to help himself from leaning in and planting a quick kiss on your cheek.

"Is anyone even really surprised? I mean, you're practically attached at the hip these days. No offense." His snotty ex snickered bitterly into a sip of wine.

That. That right there is exactly what brought you here tonight. You couldn't ignore Harry's point of having no control of everything he receives, because he was right everyone gets spam one way or another. But there is one common variable that separated the innocent from the inappropriate, and that's the intention behind it.

To be quite honest, after seeing her pictures you went on a downward spiral for a bit. Beating yourself up and asking all the wrong questions. Like why weren't you enough for him? What did you have to do to make him see? And so on and so forth. But with just a little more time alone, albeit a ride home and a mini Instagram stalking session, you were able to think more rationally and even form a different perspective from a few hard facts. Eventually revealing the real answer to your problem had less to do with either of you individually and everything to do with her ill will towards you two being together.

She was literally, a first class attention seeker. Plain and simple. Born into it whether she aimed to be or not. To the extent that whenever she or anyone else she's related to so much as hint at gracing a controversial cover, it became top news worldwide overnight. This one 'cover' should be no different but alas it is, because it doesn't exist.

"Of course we are he's my best friend," You retort genuinely cool calm and collected. Earning a round of admiring 'aws' from around the table bringing up another point, your announcement, "Speaking of friends... Did everyone here get a chance to see your little outtakes? Dying to know which one you picked for the cover."

Her complexion noticeably pales almost instantly, "I- no it's still in editing nobody is supposed to see until it's finished...how did you—" she rambles suddenly nervous.

"Harry showed em to me." You lied happily with a smile just to get under her skin and it worked, seeing as she tosses him a skeptical glance but he's already looking her way with a disappointed frown, "Thought you said you asked everyone?"

"I-I-I was," She stuttered, "I just didn't want to risk it getting leaked...you know I get hacked all the time."

"Oh c'mon, Harry? He's got the worst taste here," Nick teases and receives a pointed glare from him and laughs, "Can we at least get a tip on which cover?"

If you hadn't known better, then you'd be like everyone else and maybe even a little concerned watching her become visibly uncomfortable. But currently you're all too happy to watch her struggle to come up with a believable lie. "Well... its still in the works right now too so I can't really say."

It's kind of funny how you haven't had a sip to drink and yet you felt drunk with power. Well not even necessarily power but it felt damn good to reclaim all the shitty energy she caused you in that short period of time. People like her deserved to be exposed as the malicious fraudulent snakes that they truly were. Cut out root and stem, defanged and hung out to dry.

At the moment you were thrilled and petty enough to do it with a smile, "From what I saw my first guess was honestly Pornhub." Mid swallow on a rather large gulp of wine the self proclaimed supermodel began to choke loudly. Eyes wide while unceremoniously sputtering it up through both her nose and mouth onto the fancy table setting in front of her. You laughed completely unabashed, running on a high of her karma but politely pat her back in aid quietly adding, "No offense."

Fortunately for her, her coughing fit didn't last long as she angrily pulled away from your touch.

"It's a nude piece?" Nick gasped with his hand pressed to his cheek shocked and intrigued all at once, the journalist coming out of him.

"According to what she sent to him. Then again I find it super strange that someone like her would do a shoot of that type of...nature, get it done, and still not know where it's being published." You cheerily answer for her.

However everyone else seemed to be in a battle of mixed emotions as all the clues came together. Sitting back watching silently. You dully noted the disdain and unease directed at she and Harry. Who currently had a deep frown set in place, upset at how things just unfolded.

"Unless you know, there was no intention for them except to go straight to his phone? And yet then again you and your family like to keep it saucy so." Shrugging you grab Harry's glass and take a sip from it. "Mmm, wish this was tea."

"Okay, can you shut the fuck up!" She snarls irritably, passing her hands over her flustered face. "You're seriously annoying!"

Bringing a full fledged smile to your face, "Oh honey, if you're that upset then why don't you come make me? I promise you'll get everything you deserve and more."

"You think you're so tough. I'll kick your fucking ass right now dude and you won't even see me coming!" She snaps pushing away from the table and onto her feet. Causing you to flat out laugh at her attempt of intimidation as well as gain the attention of poor unsuspecting patrons just trying eat their meals in peace.

"Uh oh, someone better fetch security for miss John Cena over here."

"Alright, that's enough let's go." Harry suddenly commands rising to stand in front of you as if he were some type of bodyguard. Wanting to leave now on your own while you could, instead of being removed disgracefully. "Already? I just got here and things are really getting interesting." You playfully tease pouting but get up anyway.

"I'll say." Nick laughs thoroughly amused waving goodbye.

"This is why people like you don't belong in our world, you're scum bitch!"

Again you laugh as Harry begins to usher you towards the exit by the waist calling back, "Sweetheart, you're the one pursuing taken men with staged nudes. You are bacteria! Keep your filthy world and choke!"

In your side peripheral you're able to catch glimpses of people's phones going up to start filming the discourse. The official cue to shut up and get out before an even bigger spectacle was created. You'd apologize to everyone else for the drama later if and when given the chance.

Your more immediate focus right now was Harry, tense and silent stalking off ahead of you in the parking lot. Bee lining for his black SUV. He hasn't asked and probably didn't care to know, but you Ubered here. Regardless he most likely would have made you ride with him anyways.

It's only after climbing inside and shutting the door that he speaks, "Do you mind telling me what the hell is going on with you?"

"You asked me to come to dinner and I showed up. What's the problem?"

His expression became incredulous, "You made a scene."

"Actually she did that. I only called her bluff and ruined her scheme of potentially ruining your honor. You're welcome by the way! From now on, to prevent shit like this from happening I need you not to be passive when they're making passes." You glare at him pointedly.

Harry frowns hard at that suddenly angry, "Fair enough, but I didn't need you to defend my honor Y/N. It was never at stake, and you'd know that if you took my word for it in the first place. Bloody hell woman, do you really think that I don't know how lucky I am to have someone like you in my life? That I'd throw this all away that easily for nothing? I'm not an idiot!"

You sigh heavily from a strong wave of guilt hitting you in the gut at the reminder but manage to fold your arms across your chest stubbornly, "Yeah well it would have been so much easier to believe without all the evidence against you,"

"S'not evidence it's stupid and childish and completely ridiculous!" He argues scratching the bridge of his nose with his index.

"If it's all that then why keep it?" You shrug.

"I'm not, it's gone. Got rid of it all after you left." He honestly admits passing over the item in question itself and with a quick awakening of the screen you instantly find out just like before the pass code is still deactivated. Leaving all accessibility at your fingertips. "Before you go through it though, I need to know something." He turns to fully face you in his seat.

"Okay?" You encourage a little uneasy but mirror his action.

"Do you trust me? And I mean genuinely trust me Y/N. Harry the human that loves sleeping in with you on Sundays, and Harry the same human that has to tour around the world 6 to 8 months at a time and might not have as much access to you as he'd like?"

You practically feel insulted by his need to ask at all but answer him anyway, "Of course I do!"

But he's dead serious, taking ahold of both your hands in his massive ones. Staring deep into your eyes with electric intensity. "Are you sure? Coz' he's the same bloke in charge of that inbox, and those dms, and that browser history! If we're gonna have any chance at all, I need you to understand that."

For a brief moment his sharp liquid green eyes flit back and forth searching for any and all doubt. Though you genuinely have none. "I do Harry, I promise."

Emotion floods in his eyes before he shuts them and shakes his head slowly but surely getting vulnerable, "I only ask this of you because love I can't- I literally can't even stomach the thought of us ever being toxic.. Losing you that way— losing you at all..." You take it upon yourself to free one of your hands just to cradle his warm cheek. In turn he tried to smile in appreciation but his eyes have already begun to burn from the prick and swell of tears, his chest and throat tightening. "You're my everything." He professes softly, "My world, my sun, my stars, my moon, my entire universe. I love you."

You smile in admiration completely smitten getting a little emotional yourself, "I love you too Harry." Pulling him close to kiss him once, twice, thrice, and then just hold on to him a little longer with his face buried in your neck.

"M'sorry for being a crybaby," he mumbles into your skin and you laugh. Then and only then does he come up for air leaving a trail of follow up kisses before putting the previous space back between you. He reaches down on the floor of the driver's seat and retrieves the long forgotten phone. Placing it back in your hand, "S' all yours lovie."

Insanely relieved and extremely giddy at the moment. You simply roll your eyes toss the damned device in the cupholder without hesitation, "Never needed it."

AN: First of all thank you all so much for the support and feedback it was truly inspiring. Hope this turned out alright! Let me know. More blurbs are coming soon so keep an eye out!

#Harry styles angst #Harry styles imagines #Harry x reader #Harry styles #one direction imagines #Harry Styles one shot #One direction one shot #harry styles drabble #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction

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snarky-gourmet · 6 years

Note

She deleted so I guess all of you got what you wanted. She won’t answer messages on kakao or texts. She didn’t deserve this.

Sorry this took me more than a day to get to, I don’t usually check my inbox unless I get a notif, and then it took a while to write everything out as it is quite lengthy and then on top of that the incidents related to this topic kept persisting literally as I wrote it :)

I checked the time stamp on this when I saw it and it seems like you sent this about an hour after I talked to Madds’ friend yesterday–we had a very civil and pleasant talk that cleared up a lot of stuff and she informed me that Madds is doing just fine, which I’m extremely glad about. **Edit: on March 21st, 2 days after the first conversation between us, I received messages from Madds’ friend to alert us that Madds has contacted an attorney, and then continued to falsely accuse those of us in the group chat, including those who have never had ANY involvement in this from the beginning of the disagreement until now, of stalking and harassing her. Those screenshots will be included at the end of the post.**

There seems to be a lot of rumours going on and a lot of people are under the wrong impression given the fact that Maddison has spread falsehood after falsehood in order to make herself look like the victim in a situation that should have been initially so insignificant, there was no valid reason for victim-hood on either side.

This conflict with Madds has been ongoing for several months now, and all of us involved are honestly done with the false accusations, vague-posting, and borderline harassment. As a result, the decision to make this post was reached.

This post’s purpose is to clear our names and make it known that the things Madds has been saying about us are not true. We do not wish for ANYONE to go after Madds or her friends. We would never want harm to come to her. All we want is for this to stop, and according to her party, that’s what she wants as well, so here we go.

Let me make it clear:

None of us from the fandom-oriented group chat Madds used to be in, and then left on her own after a disagreement, have ever:

-Stalked Madds through her public blog or through any other platforms

-Bullied her off the site

-Stabbed her in the back

-Sent her anon hate/death threats or asked others to on our behalf

-Done anything at all that was malicious towards Madds at any time

The only times any of us have contacted Madds personally since she left the group chat have been to try and reason with her, to try and console her, to try and ask her to stop making vague posts about us, to stop blaming us for the anons she was getting, and to ask her to stop trying to turn shared friends/mutuals against us and let the incident go.

The only times any of us have been to Madds’ new blog after she deleted her old one have been to check on her well being, as we would never want harm to come to her, as well as when she has mentioned any of us by name and people who were shared friends/mutuals brought it to our attention.

I will not be mentioning all names of people involved in this conflict as none of us from the group chat at least, wish to drag any more people into this mess who really didn’t have anything to do with it.

Until this point, my personal role in all of this has been little more than a bystander. I am still an active member of the group chat that Madds left, and I know everyone in there very well. I have witnessed what has happened since the start and with the permission of everyone else from the gc, I’m happy to provide answers as to what has actually been going on.

Below the cut is a timeline containing all screenshots we have of everything that has gone on from the beginning of the conflict leading up to a few days ago now, when Madds apparently made the choice to delete her blog completely unprompted by any of us, who were all making it a point to distance ourselves more than before after she threatened to call the cops on us in a text post because she thought we were stalking her.

Tw for in-depth mentions of suicide baiting and implications of self-harm among other things that may be distressing for some to read.

–

The initial disagreement that started all of this took place on November 21st last year, and it is quite frankly, embarrassing and unnecessary that such a small scale disagreement escalated to the extent that it did, and is still ongoing despite our (the gc’s) attempts to reason with, and then when that didn’t work, cease contact with Madds.

We were discussing Key’s upcoming album when Madds (sunshinekibum) brought up how she wishes that sh/awols were more hyped about it, which was a valid point of discussion to be made.

Madds expressed how she felt that she and other lockets couldn’t be happy without others having a negative reaction to it. Kiri brought up the fact that it was close to December, and therefore it was not anyone’s fault if they were not in high spirits, but made it clear that lockets had every right to be happy and there was nothing holding them back from that. Madds apologised, appearing to have taken it the wrong way, then removed herself from the server.

After she had left, Kiri messaged Madds via tumblr to talk things through.

Kiri reiterated that due to the timing of Key’s album being released, she and some other sh/awols were having a hard time being excited and clarified that her words were not meant to be taken as a personal attack on Madds. She apologised, as did Madds, but Madds did not understand that Kiri was not claiming her words to be insensitive. She instead appeared to be using the incident to beat herself up. Kiri pointed out to Madds that she had made a valid point and the way she felt was justified, so there was no reason she should be so harsh on herself.

Madds then explained the reason behind why she left the group chat, citing a difference in viewpoints as well as a desire to not cause any harm, which she had never caused in the first place. Efforts were made to try to get her to see that and possibly invite her back to the gc on her own terms.

Kiri brings up how Madds is misunderstanding her words and feelings about the disagreement in the group chat and doesn’t seem to be interested in seeing her side to things. Madds responds by clarifying that her words were not aimed at Kiri specifically but rather meant as a generalised statement from what she had personally seen. She also acknowledged that proximity to December as a factor, but also stated that she still felt as if she were going to face criticism for being excited by those who were not. Kiri then defends herself, citing Madds’ word choice and tone as the reason for her own words in the group chat.

She continues and points out that Madds is the one beating herself up in this situation, and that no one thought ill of her and no one was harmed by Madds’ words. Kiri then clarifies again what exactly the source of the disagreement was, and requests that Madds does not twist her words as a means to punish herself. Madds apologises.

After this, a bit of time passed, and Madds changed her Tumblr URL to “imaginemp3″. During this same time, there was a post made by Madds that Kiri later alludes to, that appears to reference the disagreement that happened between her and Kiri in the gc, suggesting that she had resentment, or at the very least, remaining displeasure with Kiri for said disagreement. It was later deleted.

Shortly after, Kiri deactivated her previous blog due to an extremely high amount of anon hate and desire to distance herself from the drama at hand. A mutual friend of ours and Madds was also receiving such anons.

After Kiri deactivated, Madds began receiving anons as well, written in the same tonal and vocabulary pattern as the ones Kiri and the mutual friend received, suggesting that they were all sent by the same person. We suspect that Madds is the one who sent them to Kiri, the other recipient, and herself as well. This is the event that Madds claims was all of us in the gc “bullying her off the site”. None of us sent those anons to her. Unfortunately, no screenshots of the ones Kiri nor the other person received exist due to A) the upsetting nature of the messages and B) at the time they received the messages, there was no reason to save evidence of them, seeing as how it was on in retrospect that we suspected Madds of being behind them.

Above are some of the anons that Madds had received, accusing her for being the reason Kiri had deactivated and for suicide baiting her. As a result, Madds makes the last post at the top of the image.

Thinking the worst, many of the people from the group chat and who followed Madds reached out to her via dms and text.

Among those people were Izzy (keyjapandebut) and someone who will be referred to as Sunny, as it is unnecessary to bring their name into undesired drama. Sunny is the 3rd person besides Kiri and Madds to have received the anons just mentioned.

Izzy initiates the conversation and tries to make sure that Madds is alright after the anons she got. Madds deflects, expressing concern for Kiri as priority even after Izzy states that Kiri is fine. Madds continues to place all of the blame on herself unnecessarily. This is when she alludes to the vent post previously mentioned, denying that it was about Kiri or the subject of their disagreement. (Due to the timing of the anons that both Kiri and then Madds received however, as well as the wording in Madds’ post, the opposite appears to be true. Izzy attempts to talk Madds down from the place she was in, and he tries to reason with her.

After Izzy’s first attempt to explain to Madds that she can still talk to Kiri if she needed to, Madds claims that she had been blocked by Kiri on the platforms she could have reached her on, which was not true according to what Kiri had shown us. The most likely explanation, if Madds had indeed sent 4 different discord messages to Kiri, but they had not been delivered, is that since they no longer had a shared server, discord would not deliver Madds’ messages to Kiri. However, when a message does not go through on discord, a bot will reply to the sender with the reason why.

Madds then states that she had requested Sunny to give her phone number to Kiri.

(*There is a missing screen shot before the first message from Izzy in this set. They were taken to show Kiri during this last attempt of his to mediate between the two, then deleted from his device immediately after, so he does not remember the context of the first message.)

Madds once again just asks for Izzy to deliver the message that she says sorry to Kiri and the rest of us. At the same time that Izzy is talking to Madds, he is delivering what Madds asks him to to Kiri. Kiri asks Izzy to relay to Madds that all she wants from this is for Madds to move on. To this request, Madds says she cannot and says that we “can all go be fine without her”. Izzy asks what Madds meant by this, reassures her that what she is suggesting is not necessary for a resolution, and that she had not caused Kiri the amount of distress she thinks she caused her from the disagreement in the gc. To this, Madds seems to shut off, repeating “okay im glad she’s okay”. Izzy picks up on the fact that Madds isn’t really listening anymore, and points it out. Madds continues to just say that “we don’t have to worry about her”.

Izzy attempts to explain as someone who was still on good terms with Madds at this point in time that ceasing all concern over her wasn’t possible, but Madds argued, claiming that since we “all have each other there’s no reason any of us need her”. Izzy sees that as long as Madds is acting like this and continuing to make herself out to both be the sole reason behind all of this as well as the victim at the same time, and tries to reach a resolution with Madds. Madds then says goodbye, that she’ll be okay, and that she is sorry for causing trouble, but will “make sure it doesn’t ever happen again” (that clearly didn’t happen). This was Izzy’s last interaction with Madds.

None of us blamed her for anything that was going on at this point, nor did we ever say anything to imply that we wanted her gone or to feel guilt. All we wanted was for her to stop beating herself up so much–as none of us saw a reason why the disagreement back in November should have caused such distress–and to listen to the words we had to say, as we were genuinely concerned for Madds’ well being.

It was only after later examination of the language that she used during her talk with Izzy, the fact that Madds was still connecting this back to the rather small disagreement that took place, her initial reaction to the disagreement, and the eventual realisation that all of the anons that had been received by Madds, Kiri, and Sunny had the same syntax, that an inkling of suspicion ever rose up in regards to Madds. Izzy in particular became suspicious of Madds due to his first encounter with her when her url was peachykibummie. Madds was a stranger to him, a stranger receiving suicide-baiting anons with the exact same syntax as the ones she, Kiri, and Sunny received. Izzy’s efforts to console her led to a friendship that is now history.

A little while after Izzy and Madds had their conversation, Madds and Sunny had talked. Sunny had told Madds that Kiri wished to speak with her.

(Kiri: Blue Text —— Madds: Grey Text)

The second message that Kiri sends addresses the apparent overreaction Madds has displayed since their disagreement. At this point, suspicion that Madds was acting like this out of desire for some sort of attention was starting to rise up.

To Kiri’s questioning, Madds acts as if she does not understand what Kiri is referring to. Kiri was aware of the way Madds had spoken in the chat with Izzy, as he had been the middleman between Kiri and Madds.

At the bottom of the first image in the set/top of the second image, Kiri brings up the fact that she did not receive any sort of messages from Madds as she had claimed from the conversation with Izzy. Kiri also brings up the post that Madds had made that seemed to have been about her and that seems to have kicked off the series of anons that Kiri, Madds, and Sunny all got.

Madds responds by claiming that she never lied and that Kiri deleted and blocked her over the post she had made, when in reality, Kiri had deactivated due to the anons, and denies that the post was about Kiri, despite the subject matter of the post being the same as the disagreement right down to the details.

(Last text cut off on the bottom reads “Move on. I have.”)

In this series of texts Madds does not understand that everyone was scared for her and that is why multiple individuals checked up on her after she made an alarming goodbye post after the anons she got were suicide baiting her. She then tries to turn the tables on Kiri and accuses her of being the one who is still upset over the disagreement, when the thing Kiri is actually upset over is the post, the anons, Madds essentially disregarding everyone’s concern while attempting to cause guilt at the same time, and then lying about several different things that have happened.

In Kiri’s message she brings up that it was believed that Madds was the one behind all of the anons, as supported by a multitude of details about them. She then clarifies the fact that people checked on her out of concern, as previously mentioned. Kiri also brings up the apparent guilt-tripping that Madds is doing and mentions that she wishes that Madds gets help, but doesn’t wish for Madds to use her as a means to punish herself, which is what she was doing. Lastly, Kiri expresses that she only wanted to ensure that Madds was alright, and that at the end of it all, nothing in the disagreement was important enough for all of this to come out of it.

Those were the last messages exchanged until December 28th.

On December 28th, Kiri has messaged Madds prefacing her request that she drop the situation once and for all after after Kiri had heard from Sunny that Madds was still not past the conflict, and had worked Sunny up enough to cause serious upset, with an apology. Kiri then brings up the fact that she blocked Madds in an attempt to put everything behind them and create distance.

Madds retorts that she had not tried to contact anyone except for Sunny since Kiri had blocked her. Madds then argues that what she says to Sunny about Kiri, who is, once again, someone who is a friend of both Kiri and Madds at this point, is none of her business and that Kiri has “her clean break’ due to the fact that Madds has not talked to her directly.

While it is true that Madds had not spoken to Kiri personally, she had tried to turn Sunny against Kiri, making Kiri out to be malicious towards Madds, and Madds herself the victim. That is what Kiri refers to in her first message in the second picture.

Madds says that it was an honest question for Sunny, and that she is allowed to ask questions and have her own opinions like everyone else. No one had implied that she was not allowed to have her own thoughts and ask questions to Sunny, the question was simply why she had done so if she had supposedly moved on. Kiri acknowledges Madds’ point, and continues asking what Madds’ goal was in asking if she really wanted nothing to do with her.

Madds responds by claiming that her inquiry to Sunny was out of concern for Sunny. Kiri then brings up the fact that while doing so, Madds had caused a significant level of distress to Sunny. Madds responds, suggesting that she did not understand how she had hurt Sunny. Kiri explains that there wouldn’t be a point due to Madds sole response to previous attempts at both Sunny and Kiri explaining how she has caused them harm has been that she “saw how it could come off that way” while never acknowledging what she had done. Kiri then elaborates by telling Madds that Sunny had said to Kiri that Madds had breached Sunny’s trust by attempting to turn her against Kiri.

Madds says that she is getting different stories on the matter, but apologizes for causing issues for Sunny and Kiri. Madds then brings up that her hurting Sunny does not excuse Kiri from hurting Sunny, which was never an argument Kiri tried to make in the situation. Madds also brings up that she wishes to continue the cease of contact that was previously between her and Kiri, and attempts to deflect any further discussion on the matter by claiming that Sunny does not want to be in the middle, which she would not have been if Madds had not tried to turn Sunny against Kiri.

Kiri points out that Madds has no knowledge of how she and Sunny had resolved things between them, and brings attention to the fact that Kiri has not mentioned Madds to Sunny or anyone else, but Madds was in fact mentioning Kiri in poor regards to Sunny, and that was the issue currently at hand.

Madds claims that Kiri is the one upset, and not herself, despite the fact that she had attempted to turn Sunny against Kiri for no apparent reason. Madds again cites concern for Sunny as being the motive behind asking why Sunny was still friends with Kiri. Madds apologises that her actions had hurt Kiri but does not feel as if she was in the wrong for her actions as they were supposedly out of concern for Sunny. She then claims again that she had let the disagreement go a while ago.

Kiri, done with being given the run-around by Madds, suggests a mutual agreement between the two of them to not bring each other up in any capacity any more, and that the two of them part ways and have their peace. Madds responds negatively, does not agree to the proposition, and again brings up that Kiri had contacted her first, which would not have happened had Madds not upset Sunny, and again pushes that what she says to others is none of Kiri’s business, apparently even if it directly involves Kiri.

To this, Kiri says that Sunny is not Madds’ friend, and Madds deflects by saying that Kiri and Sunny have different opinions on that matter and that it is not her issue. The last messages are sent by Kiri and are a request for Madds to gain maturity when dealing with conflict.

After this, there was no contact between any of us and Madds for a significant period of time. Madds had deleted her blog of her own volition. We had no reason to bring up her name in any capacity in the group chat, therefore we didn’t.

When things had settled, Kiri had created a new blog. Sometime during this duration, Madds had also remade and began claiming that we bullied her off the site. She began making vague posts that were in regards to us as well as posts that mentioned Kiri’s name and old URL specifically. These posts ranged from petty to the more malicious ones that were of Madds telling people the falsehood that we drove her off Tumblr.

There was no stalking involved to find her new blog, and to accuse us of such a thing is ludicrous. We are all in the same fandom, and due to this, Madds’ new blog was stumbled upon. We had no idea it was actually her until people who knew us alerted us of easytolovemp3 (Madds) talking shit about us, specifically Kiri. 2 and 2 were put together. Still then, only a handful of us who were actively present in the gc’s conversation at this time actually knew this was Madds, as the rest of us, namely myself and 1 other individual, were at our jobs at the time. Izzy and Kiri both blocked easytolovemp3 as soon as they knew it was Madds, not wishing to have contact with her.

Below is an image of a one of the petty incidents, essentially falsely accusing Kiri of being a kboo. This was brought to our attention through someone who was a shared mutual of both Madds and Kiri on their new blogs. You can see Kiri mentioned by name, and that is how this got around to us.

We were never actively dwelling on Madds’ new blog (or stalking as she put it) and until 2 weeks ago, two of us still didn’t know her new URL. One of us only found out yesterday. As a result, we do not have screenshots of all of the things she said during this time, nor did we save any of the screenshots others sent to us. The thought that this would be a still escalating issue at this point did not cross our minds back then, and honestly? We didn’t want to save the needlessly upsetting posts Madds had made.

Eventually, Kiri started receiving anon hate on her new blog and quietly abandoned it.

Sunny and Madds are still in contact at that point. Due to unrelated reasons, Izzy had deleted his blog some time in December. He recreated a new one this month with the purpose to have it as an art blog. It does not have his english name on it and the focus was on a different fandom.

Now we get to the point on the timeline that took place last week (the week of March 11th).

I had direct messaged Izzy on discord asking if he knew that Madds had deleted all of her posts except for several alarming and concerning ones, and he checked it out. I had gotten word from this from a friend. This was the first time that I had been to Madds’ blog and the first time I even knew this was her.

On her blog, everything was deleted except for posts of her once again accusing us of stalking her, as well as her essentially suggesting that she was going to commit suicide.

Both Izzy and I were extremely worried for Madds, as we would never want anything bad to happen to her. Despite the fact that she had accused the gc of stalking, bullying her off the site, sending her death threats, stabbing her in the back, etc., the fact that it seemed like she was going to harm herself was extremely upsetting. She is someone who we used to be friends with, after all.

In the first image, Madds claims in the tags of the bottom post that half of us have her blocked, which was not true. Only Izzy on his old blog and Kiri on her new one had her blocked. Izzy did not yet have Madds blocked on the newest blog he had just made. Everyone else in the gc had also not blocked her because some of us didn’t know about her blog until the most recent post about us “bullying her off tumblr” came to our attention and some of us had absolutely no involvement with the original disagreement and therefore, had no reason to even think about Madds. Kayden, for example, never had her blocked and had no involvement in any of this besides his proximity to Kiri and being in the group chat. We had indeed not interacted with her, but her claim that half of us had her blocked is incorrect.

We never sent her any of the anons she got on her imaginemp3 account, therefore her claims that we ruined the “one place she felt safe” and “ruined almost all her friendships” have no grounds and seem to be made purely for the sake of getting attention. Again, we strongly suspect that she was the one who sent her own self those anons. Additionally, if you recall the conversations Madds had with Kiri, she is told what exactly she did wrong: the issue was not the trivial disagreement back in November of last year, but the way she was spreading rumours, twisting words, and trying to turn people against us. Her claim to be the one “crying about it almost daily struggling with figuring out what she did wrong” makes no sense.

Shortly after we viewed the post, she had blocked both Izzy and I. Odd since neither of us had made contact with her or mentioned her in any way. It is unclear how she got Izzy’s new blog’s URL as his blog is no longer Sh/inee-oriented, has his English name no where on it, and no one outside of the group chat was privy to his new blog belonging to him. This, along with the timing of some of the vague posts Madds made previously, lead us to the conclusion that we believe someone in our group chat was essentially serving as a spy and sending Madds information on us. It does not add up any other way. The person/people who were possible suspects were removed from the group chat and we have had no further incidents directly tied to our suspicions.

On the left there is a new post coming after the ones in the left-hand image from the last set. On the right are more anons that she got.

The message on the top is the only reason Izzy and I continued checking on Madds’ blog at this point despite both of us now being blocked. It was to check on someone who seems to have posted a final goodbye–that’s what you do when you’re worried about someone, and we had more than reason to be worried.

Please take note of the one anon with the “x” signing the end of their message for later reference.

Above is an image of the post Madds had made after the ones in the previous set. Izzy had checked Madds’ blog early in the morning of last Tuesday, the 19th, to see if she was alright. He messaged me to tell me about it, as Madds was now threatening legal action against us, and I checked for myself, extremely alarmed.

In this post you can see a whole list of accusations Madds has against us, some very bitter adjectives, a lot of nasty names, and of course, the threat to contact the police. The nature of this post speaks for itself, so I don’t really feel the need to dissect it too much. “Terrified to make any move online because I knew you all would be waiting to ruin me again,” however, is especially interesting due to the fact that she was the one slandering Kiri’s name in particular, and every single time Kiri got a new blog, she received an avalanche of anons extremely similar to the others she had gotten before, some even bringing up personal matters that she only ever mentioned in the privacy of the group chat.

Considering the fact that we had done nothing in this extensive list, and she would have known this considering she was the one who had fabricated these baseless accusations, her threats to call the police on a group entirely composed of minorities, the majority being non-white and not a single one of us being cishet, honestly comes off as insidious.

(Some anons that were extremely similar in nature have been omitted due to the length of this post.)

On the left side of the screen shot, the first anon censors out Kiri’s most well known past URL, blingblingis. Madds clarifies that she was previously imaginemp3 before she deleted that blog and remade. “What she tried to pull with me,” alludes to the fabricated stalking, bullying, and other false accusations directed at Kiri and the rest of us. Madds then mentions in the tags that she knows that Kiri has a new blog, however she claims to not know the URL.

The second image in the screenshot can be taken as proof that Madds had spread rumours about Kiri bullying her off the site. Unless Madds sent this anon to her own self, in which case it is evidence of something else.

Please continue to note the “x” signing the end of that anon.

After taking note of all of this, Izzy and I both decided that it was in our best interest to no longer check on Madds even out of concern for her safety. We didn’t want for her to mistake that as stalking and push her towards legal action. It was unclear how Madds even knew we were checking on her at this point.

Later that day, I briefly and vaguely mentioned in the dms to a tumblr user I am friends with what was going on. Without me mentioning Madds by name, only (to be read in sarcastic tones) “How great it was to have someone who you used to be friends with threatening to call the cops on you and your friends over falsified accusations of stalking, harassing, intimidation, and bullying, all because she didn’t know how to handle a tiny fight over kpop,” she, who will be referred to as Moon, immediately knew who I was talking about.

As it turns out, Moon and Madds had spoken before, and Moon told me in a separate message that Madds was giving out a list of names of everyone in the group chat who she was accusing of stalking her, to those who messaged her asking for it. She also mentioned that Madds had told her the fabricated story of everything she claimed we had done to her, which made “us all sound fucking awful”.

The next day, Moon alerted me that Madds had deleted her tumblr out of the blue.

About an hour after Moon had told me that, Madds’ friend, who I mentioned way back at the very beginning of this post, messaged me.

Due to the fact that this individual is a minor that Madds has dragged into a dispute between adults and used as a middleman, they will be referred to as Nova to protect their identity. Please do not ask for their url. Please do not seek them out.

Nova begins interrogating me, who had no in-depth involvement prior to checking on Madds’ blog during her most recent alarming series of posts. Nova demands to know why the supposed “stalking” is going on “even though no one seems to want to talk to her after all of this” (correct!)

I clarify that none of us are stalking Madds, nor have ever stalked her or acted with any form of malice towards her. I also bring up the fact that I didn’t even know easytolovemp3 was Madds until my friend had seen the post making false accusations against us and told me. The fact that she did not have me blocked until after I looked at her blog is also something I brought light to, as well as the fact that the only time any of us from the gc have made contact with her since she left have been to ask her to stop posting about us.

Nova then presses for why we all still wanted to know about Madds and expresses that she thinks that it would’ve been better for us all just to leave it.

I do my best to remain extra civil during the exchange, as I do not wish to make things somehow worse than being threatened with legal action.

At the top of the left side, Nova has sent another message directly following her last one, asking for further clarification on the situation that’s taking place.

I provide a watered down and brief summary of what had happened to that point. I also state that the only reason anyone from the gc even knew about Madds’ new blog was due to the fact that she had literally mentioned Kiri by name. That Madds’ name was only brought up when Madds herself had done something directly affecting any of us, and that was also the only time Kiri had contacted her, was also brought up.

Nova asks how word got around that Madds remade and I clarify again that it was due to the fact that she had mentioned Kiri by name and everyone who knew put 2 and 2 together.

Nova presses again to know if we’re still worried about her, and I answer by saying that we are just worried about whether she may hurt herself, but no one has checked on her blog recently due to the fact that we don’t want our concern to be taken as “stalking”.

Nova accepts my explanation and then claims that Madds is alright and is “pretty much completely moved on now”, which is exactly the impression we all got from being threatened with legal action (this is sarcasm).

Not wanting to stir any issues between Nova and myself, as the conversation was actually going in a very civil manner, I say that I am glad that Madds is alright after her previous posts.

Nova thanks me for answering the questions and I assume that we are done with That.

However, on the 21st I received the first message on the right side of the screen shot from Nova.

Sunny has stated that she got the same message from Nova. She tried to calmly explain herself and Nova replied by telling her she doesn’t have the right to feel upset, in spite of Sunny’s urging that she didn’t do anything.

Nova notifies me that Madds has followed through with her threat of legal action in the form of contacting an attorney, and has named a handful of us from the group chat that she has accused of stalking and harassing her. She then tells me to pass along the message, which I do.

I write back, asking Nova to tell Madds that none of us have done the things she is accusing us of, and now attempting to prosecute us for, and that I am planning to make a post with every single screen shot of proof we are in possession of proving that she has lied and fabricated every single part of her story she has spread around about us as a response to this anon I am answering right now. I then pass along the promise from the gc that we all plan to fully cooperate if Madds gets an attorney, as we have done nothing wrong. This promise still stands.

Nova starts out by demanding to know how I knew her name, to which I respond that Kiri had told me who she was when I passed her warning of legal action along. I then begin questioning Nova as to what exactly Madds wants from all of this, as it has been literally months, and not only has she not let it go, but she has progressively made the situation worse for every single person involved, and has even dragged people who were never initially involved into it.

To my question, Nova claims that all Madds wanted was “to be left alone”. Nova then states that she remade with the intent of none of us ever finding her again, despite Madds mentioning Kiri by name, and then carries on to imply that it was somehow unthinkable that myself, Kiri, and the rest of the gc had access to Madds’ public blog that well over half of us were never blocked from. Additionally, Nova brings up the fact that Kiri had vented to Sunny about the fact that Madds was still not letting things go between them and was talking shit about all of us without any provocation whatsoever on any of our behalves. Nova also claims that “none of this would have happened if Kiri had just left her blog alone and stopped dragging (people?) into it” despite the fact that Kiri, nor any of us were actively “stalking” Madds’ blog, and we were all trying to stay away from her. Once again: Madds was the one dragging people into this. Nova again reiterates her claim that Madds “just wanted to be left alone and requests for all of us to “let it be over”, which is something we were all very much trying to do before shit hit the fan.

I make it clear that “Izzy blocked Madds as soon as he found out it was her in order to prevent any contact with her. Alex hasn’t been in the gc in forever. Kayden’s only association with this is that he is in the group chat. Kiri only found out about Madds’ new blog due to the fact that Madds kept on vagueing about her” (and blocked her immediately) and that due to the fact that we are all in the same fandom, it’s not as far fetched at all as Nova, and apparently Madds, are claiming it to be that Madds public blog was found out by us when people notified us of the slander going on.

Nova only says “She’s gone you don’t have to worry about it” in response to my message.

I bring up the fact that Madds is the only one still hung up over everything, and point out that we never talk about her unless she has done something to slander us recently, as we have no reason to. Again, I make it clear that we never did any of the things Madds claims we did and that she has painted herself as the victim in what, in reality, was a victimless disagreement. Lastly, I express exasperation with the situation, stating I don’t know what else Nova wants me to say here.

Nova responds by repeating that Madds is gone, which sounds like she is suggesting she is now dead in order to make us feel guilty. Thanks! Shame on you.

From this point until otherwise noted, it is a collection of accounts from Sunny as well as texts between Kiri and Alex to further back everything up.

Here is Kiri messaging Alex to confirm that Alex has only talked to Madds once, when they had messaged her after the initial disagreement and Madds was receiving anons telling her to kill herself among other things.

This is a quote from a conversation between Sunny and Madds after Sunny found out that Madds had posted threatening to call the cops on us. Screenshots might be able to be retrieved, but the original conversation between the two has been deleted since it took place.

Sunny: whatever you do, I am begging you to leave Izzy out of this. Please think about what the consequences could be about calling the cops on a mentally ill trans black man. Please.

Madds: I don’t care. If he wasn’t involved he should have nothing to worry about. Maybe he should have thought about that.

Here is a screenshot of texts between Kiri and Sunny discussing that Madds had then told the same thing to Sunny that she had said about Izzy:

Sunny has also provided the following statements:

“She (Madds) would often message me to ask how I feel about this stuff and said “don’t you know they hate me for things I didn’t do” and then mock me when I said I was not understanding.”

“(Madds) Suicide baited me when she knows that’ll work to scare me because of my PTSD.” This is in reference to the fact that Sunny’s childhood best friend killed herself and Sunny had confided this information to Madds when they were on friendly terms.

“She sends me this shit whenever I unblock her to tell her to stop posting about y’all, then threatens to delete and/or hurt/kill herself when I don’t feel sorry for her:

“

Sunny has also stated that she received this same exact anon that I am answering right now! That is so interesting and not at all suspicious or questionable!

Now if I can please ask you to recall the anons with the x signing the end of their messages.

This is a screenshot provided by Kiri (Kirious) of an anon an unrelated blog had received while she and Madds were still friends, before the conflict had started.

In this screenshot of the conversation in the group chat, you can see a photo sent by Kiri of that anon, calling blingblingis a “known bully and liar” as well as “literal trash”. The anon then tells the blog to turn off anon if Kiri sends her “minions”, presumably meaning the rest of us in the gc, after them. The message is signed with an “x”. We suspect that this was Madds sending that anon to that blog due to the fact that it is signed with an x just like the ones Madds had gotten.

Also just like the one that Madds’ friend, Nova had received:

(Screen shot taken by me after Nova messaged me yesterday and before Kiri told me who she was. I had visited Nova’s blog trying to figure out who the hell I was talking to)

The common use of the word “minions” is also a very interesting coincidence. Make of those what you will, but it’s clear that it’s likely either Madds herself or someone “doing her bidding for her”. They have censored Kiri’s name out.

Several of the anons that Madds was receiving longer ago, before this mess, that caused Izzy to initially reach out to Madds at the start of their friendship were also tagged with x’s.

Lastly, but still related, here is a screenshot of the group chat when Kiri got anons mentioning her home life, something that she only discussed in the group chat, and therefore, was only known to members of the group. This also took place before November 21st. These anons were sent to Kiri after the unrelated blog got the anon signed with an “x”.

Unfortunately, due to the fact that having to provide a ton of screenshots to clear our names after all this damage Madds did was unforeseen, screenshots of the actual anons do not exist.

If you’ve made it to the very end of this very lengthy post, I want to thank you for the time you took to read it.

Let it be known that this post was made as an attempt to finally put a stop to Maddison doing the exact thing she accused us of doing so persistently: stalking, harassing, threatening, lying, backstabbing, sending violently malicious anons, and bullying people into remaking their blogs.

We do not wish for ANYONE to go after those who have ties to Madds, nor those who got dragged into this or provided us with helpful information, and that is why we have omitted so many names. If those people wish to come forward with their identity, that is up to them and only them.

So, no anon. We did not get what we wanted. Thank you for asking, though. We just want this to stop, it’s been long overdue.

#Anonymous

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unofferable-fic · 6 years

Text

Do You Fear the Devil? (Loki x Reader): 4 - Milk or Sugar?

Summary: You are one of the many working women roaming the streets of Whitechapel when a madman begins to murder your comrades one by one. The attacks are so gruesome, that the detectives can only describe his work as that of “a devil than of a man”. Loki Laufeyson is a Metropolitan police detective and surgeon who is assisting on the case. As more bodies pile up and you and your friends fear for your lives, the police remain well and truly stumped. When Detective Laufeyson turns to you for help to find the murderer, you must face your fears to save yourself… But who can you really trust when you are the prey being stalked at night by someone who calls himself Jack the Ripper?

Gif originally posted by isleoftom

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Victorian London AU

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Warnings: Descriptions of injuries/violence, gore, language, angst, lil fluff.

Word Count: 5,658

Previous Chapter Next Chapter

Playlist: “Everyone Loves Oranges” — Abel Korzeniowski, “Born Unto Trouble” — Bill Elm & Woody Jackson, “Minnesota, WI” — Bon Iver, “All Gone (Alone)” — Gustavo Santaolalla

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A/N: Also available on AO3. I managed to churn this bad boy out in about four days after thoroughly researching the murder of Annie Chapman. Hope you guys enjoy it, because it was a nice slight change of pace from the other chapters. Thank you very much to those or commented, read, and left likes. Seeing feedback and such genuinely makes my day. Happy reading!

8th September 1888, 6.30 am.

Despite his haggard appearance and fatigue, Loki made it to Hanbury Street in good time. Along the way, PC Barnes provided him with everything they knew so far, and Miss Y/L/N also informed him that the victim was known to them, but mostly to Miss Maximoff. He appreciated the update, even if it was a struggle to keep his eyes from drooping shut.

You are in for a long morning, he reminded himself as they arrived on the scene. Pull yourself together before you draw unnecessary attention!

His first thought was on the massive crowd that stood before him. It must have been several hundred or so strong, and he turned to PC Barnes in displeasure. “What do you expect me to do with all of these people here?”

“Shit,” James mumbled, placing his hands on his hips. “Stark sent Wilson to get more men to contain it.”

The doctor scoffed. “And they are clearly doing a wonderful job of containing it.”

“What the hell do you expect? You know how understaffed we are.”

“Well then let’s make this quick.”

With PC Barnes clearing a way through the throng of agitated people, Loki emerged on to the crime scene with Y/N at his side. Sgt Rogers, PC Wilson, and two other constables were doing their best to control the bystanders, but there was only so much they could do when it continued to grow with each passing minute.

“I’m going to stay with Wanda,” Y/N said, gesturing to her friends, who were sitting against a fence, as far from the body as possible. “I’ll be just over there, not that you shall need me anyway… I would hardly be useful to you.”

“I would imagine that you would be far more useful comforting your friend right now,” he offered her with genuine sympathy. “If you are needed, we shall call upon you.”

“Of course, Doctor.”

He gave her a brief once-over when her back was turned before he joined the inspectors who stood around what he assumed was the victim. “Gentlemen.”

“Ah, Dr Laufeyson,” Inspector Stark greeted him. “Sorry to keep you from your beauty sleep.”

“Luckily I am blessed with an appealing appearance, so no harm done.” Only then did Loki notice Chief Inspector Strange standing beside him. “Oh, Strange, back from your holiday already?”

“It would seem that violent murders have a tendency to cut them short,” he replied, looking grim. “The Chief Commissioner has put me in charge of this case—”

“Co-charge,” Stark added swiftly, wagging a finger between the two of them. “Co-investigating, co-parenting, kinda like a marriage.”

Dr Laufeyson raised a brow and looked between the two of them in amusement. With a slight laugh, he spoke. “Right, of course. Co-inspecting. How innovative.”

Chief Inspector Strange narrowed his eyes at his comrade, his brow furrowing in concern. “Are you well, Doctor? You look quite rough around the edges.”

“Now that you mention it,” Stark began. “You do look more rugged than usual. Not sleeping?”

“Somewhat,” Loki dismissed them, turning his attention back to the body. “I did not sleep well last night. But regardless of my exhaustion, I need to see to this body urgently, Inspector.”

The older man snapped back into action. “Of course. We need you to work as quick as you can this morning, if you wouldn’t mind. The crowd is getting…frisky. Bad frisky.”

“Her name?”

“Annie Chapman, confirmed by Miss Maximoff over there.”

“When was she found?” he asked, squatting down so that he could begin a quick examination.

“A little before 6 am,” Chief Inspector Strange elaborated, looking at a small notepad. “By a man called John Davis. He came straight to the station to report it and we came here as quickly as we could.”

“I do not think your speed would have mattered. A quick glance is all I need to confirm that she is unfortunately beyond all medical help.”

With the little time he had before the body would need to be removed, Loki got to work and performed a quick examination. Annie’s left arm was placed across the left breast, while her legs were drawn up and skirts pushed above her waist, revealing a pair of red and white stockings. He turned his attention to her face, which was swollen and bruised, and turned on the right side. Between the front teeth protruded her swollen tongue, a clear sign to him that she may have died of asphyxiation. A bloodstained, white and red neckerchief that matched her stockings was tied around her slit throat. Upon closer inspection, he noted that it was dissevered deeply, with the incisions through the skin being jagged and reached right round the neck. This attack was as vicious as the one on Nichols, and, upon recalling the abdominal wounds inflicted on the previous victim, Dr Laufeyson quickly checked Chapman’s stomach and found a large gash inflicted by a knife. Though still connected to her body, her intensives were removed from her gut and placed on the ground over her right shoulder.

“Her throat is slit,” he said to the inspectors, without removing his eyes from the body. “But I do not think that is what killed her. Look at this.” He pointed to her protruding tongue. “My guess is that she died by asphyxiation. No sign of a struggle… She must have entered the yard alive. Look here.” He noted the fence above her head. “There are some small drops of blood on the fence, but not enough to imply that her throat was slit while she was alive. Rigor mortis has yet to set in, but the body was quite cold. This could be due to the cold weather, but it is hard to tell. The time of death may have been at about 4.30 am. Then again, I cannot be sure under the circumstances.” With a deep breath, he stood up, not wanting to let his eyes wander to her destroyed abdomen any longer. Even with his profession, he found it difficult to handle.

As Strange took notes of his findings, Stark pointed out some more details to Loki. “Her belongings are scattered around her and the yard too, so I don’t know how that goes with your theory of no struggle. We have yet to question the neighbours on whether they heard any disturbance.”

With a swift look over the items that were strewn about, Loki shook his head. “The ones by the bodies seem purposely placed to me.”

“Like they were arranged?”

“Possibly. It could have been a surprise attack as well. That would not give her a chance to fight back.”

“There was something else of note,” the Chief Inspector began before he ushered the men to a nearby water spigot. “So, let us say that you’ve just murdered a woman, slit her throat, and stuffed your hands into her intestines… Wouldn’t you urgently want to wash your hands of the blood? This spigot is perfectly clean and shows no signs of being used this morning by someone with bloody hands. Why not use it?”

“Why stick your hands in a woman’s intestines in the first place?” Inspector Stark replied. “The guy is probably bonkers beyond belief. If anything, this is just further proof of his audacity. He ran off, quite literally, red-handed.”

Strange nodded in agreement, though visibly put off by the notion. “I should also mention that we found a leather workman’s apron in the yard. It seemed out of place, so I thought it was a curious thing.”

Loki nodded slowly, glancing around the scene again. “The more information, the better, Chief Inspector. But I think I have done all I can here. Chapman needs to be taken to the Whitechapel Workhouse Infirmary before this crowd gets any bigger.”

“I shall send for an ambulance, Doctor. We should also have a word with Miss Maximoff — until we can contact Miss Chapman’s family, she is the closest thing we have to any information about her character or people who may want to hurt her.”

Stark nodded. “Noted. We shall see to it. How about you accompany myself and Wilson to the mortuary, Dr Laufeyson, while Strange sees to the women?”

Loki and Stephen both agreed, mostly just eager to have Annie moved out of the public eye. PC Wilson was sent to fetch an ambulance, and it wasn’t long before one was wheeled to the scene and the body was hidden away it a battered old coffin. The doctor threw a cautious glance at Y/N and her friends while Chief Inspector Strange explained to them what the next steps were. They appeared apprehensive, and Loki hesitated for the briefest of moments before taking his leave.

Upon arrival at Brick Lane, shortly before 7 am, Stark let out an audible groan. Loki looked at him curiously as they pulled up outside the infirmary. “What is the matter?”

“Look who is here to receive the body.”

Loki looked at the gates and immediately set eyes on Robert Mann, the same employee who had taken part in the unauthorised stripping and washing of Mary Ann Nichol’s body. “Oh, for God sake…”

“I’m not having this,” Inspector Stark immediately declared and approached the man. He looked him up and down with narrowed eyes, while Mann appeared thoroughly put off by the stare-down. As Loki and Samuel approached the pair, Stark made his instructions clear. “Considering Dr Laufeyson was apparently misunderstood before, I am going to put this in black and white for you boys. This body is not to be touched, other than being carefully placed in a room, until my colleague has completed a full post-mortem examination. Is that clear?”

“As day, Inspector,” Mann replied with a gulp. “Crystal!”

“I would certainly hope so. I would hate it if you lot were to lose your jobs, or if more women were to die because of your mistakes.” With a grin he gave the worker a hard pat on the shoulder and let them carry the coffin into the mortuary.

“Damn, Stark,” Wilson sighed. “It’s not often that I see you let loose on someone.”

“I suppose it is a rare occurrence.”

“I would usually comment on your out-of-character reprimanding, Inspector,” Dr Laufeyson began, taking off his top hat so that he could wipe his brow. “But with lives clearly at stake, one cannot allow room for silly mistakes.”

“Right you are, Doctor.” He looked to PC Wilson and continued on. “Do me a favour, would you? I would rather you stayed here and act in my stead. You are in charge until we return.”

“We?” Dr Laufeyson repeated.

“Yes, we. Look, I need to go assist Strange in questioning the women. It shan’t be an easy experience for young Miss Maximoff, of that much I am certain, but they are a little more familiar with you than they are with us. Your presence might make it easier.”

“Have Rogers do it,” Loki suggested, not entirely eager with leaving the body and having to be in the women’s company when he looked a mess and needed sleep. “Or Barnes.”

“I already have Rogers and Barnes in charge of speaking with the residents on Hanbury Street. C’mon, Doc. We’re short on men enough as it is, and I want to make the process as easy as it can be for the girl. She’s basically still a kid who just saw her friend’s intestines strewn out on the ground.” While Loki was visibly hesitating, Stark tried to ease his worries. “All I need from you is two hours. Then you can come right back here and perform the post-mortem, that sound alright? Wilson will be here to make sure nothing goes wrong.”

He could hardly go against Stark’s wishes given that he was his superior, and Loki knew that. Despite the fact he would much rather do his job and be done with it, he also wasn’t overly eager with the idea of the inspectors blundering their way through an interview and hassling Miss Maximoff more than necessary. His mind briefly drifted to the thought of seeing Miss Y/L/N again, and he was immediately perturbed by the fluttering sensation that made its home in his chest. He wasn’t sure whether he hated it or liked it.

Give yourself a break, man. So she is an attractive woman — it is not like you have met any of them before. Get on with it and stop making a fuss.

“Fine,” he relented, putting his hat back on. “If you insist.”

“I insist quite strongly, so thank you,” Stark replied, before saying his goodbyes to PC Wilson and returning to Commercial Street Police Station. They quickly made their way to one of the more comfortable back offices where Strange was already speaking with Wanda. Natasha and Y/N sat by her side, offering support whenever the younger woman needed it. The four of them were sat around an interview table in the centre of the room, on which there were a number of cups filled with tea, a kettle, and a few plates of biscuits. As the two of them entered the room, Strange paused the interview to offer them a beverage, which they both accepted.

“I hope you are not giving the young lady too much hassle, Chief Inspector,” Stark teased, sipping from his cup as he took a seat next to him. “I have heard you are not the best with delicate issues.”

“I am doing just fine, thank you,” the man replied, somewhat miffed by the accusation. He turned his attention to Loki, who was shrugging off his coat and hat and hanging them by the door. “What is Dr Laufeyson doing here?”

“I thought the ladies would appreciate his familiar face while Miss Maximoff tells us all she can about Annie Chapman. You hardly expect them to stare at our ugly mugs all morning, do you?”

The women chuckled at that, and Natasha was the first to pass comment. “Give yourselves a bit more credit, boys. You are rather pleasing to the eye.”

While the group around him spoke, Loki kept his mouth shut and instead focused his attention on gathering a few cups, a plate of biscuits, and the tea pot from the table on to a tray. He brought it to the couch that sat to the left of the interview table where the group were gathered. When he set the tray on a nearby end table, he then carefully began laying its contents out before returning the tray to its previous place in the centre of the room.

“And you flatter us, Miss Romanoff,” Stark replied, always quick to give a flirtatious comment. “I request that you cut back on that before our heads explode.”

As Loki took a seat on the couch and began making himself a cup of tea, the chief inspector continued on with his complaints. “Should he not be attending to his duties at present?”

“I have been kind enough to give Inspector Stark two hours of my time,” Loki replied calmly, reaching for the plate of biscuits. “After which I will attend to my duties. Right now, I am to remain here and provide whatever help I can to our ever-complying ladies, here. Would any of you like some tea?”

He knew that Stark had brought him in to try make the atmosphere calmer and less professional. He had stressed before that they were on equal terms with these women, and while it may take Strange a moment to adjust around the arrangement, the women were a little more familiar with him. If his presence would bring them some ease and, in turn, progress the investigation, then so be it.

“I would actually,” Y/N answered, looking between him and Wanda. “It might help to wake me up a little.”

“Go and relax for a bit,” Wanda insisted, wiping the wet stains on her cheeks. She sniffled but pushed her friend on. “Natasha is here, so go sit down and have a cup.”

Y/N looked apprehensive at the thought of leaving her side even for a moment. “Are you sure?”

“Positive.” She gave her an appreciate smile before Y/N retreated to the couch and sat on the opposite end to Loki.

He was quick to grab an empty cup and pour her some of the hot beverage from the kettle. “Milk? Sugar?”

“A little bit of milk, please.”

While the others continued on with their interview, Miss Maximoff providing whatever details and answering any questions about Annie that she could, Loki and Y/N were left to their own devices. When her tea was ready, he carefully handed her the cup and encouraged her to take as many biscuits that she wanted. The others paid them no mind, and the doctor had been prepared to sit in comfortable silence until his companion broke it.

“I’m sorry they made you come in here to humour us.” He met her gaze to see her staring into her tea. “I’m sure you would rather be doing your job in the mortuary.”

What was she apologising for? Did she really feel guilty over such a thing? “I may be of more use in the mortuary, but Stark thinks my presence would make this whole thing go a little smoother.”

“I thought he just wanted you here because you have a handsome face?” she replied, a teasing smile slowly stretching across her face.

Oh? Did she call me handsome?

He could feel his own lips mirroring her expression. “I do believe he referred to my face as familiar as opposed to handsome, but it is nice to know that you think that of me.”

Though she laughed at his observation, he noticed the small tint of red in her cheeks. “My apologies.”

“It is quite alright. I would hardly refuse a compliment, especially when it is true.”

She let out a laugh and shook her head. “Your arrogance knows no bounds, does it?”

“Not particularly. But to answer your question, Inspector Stark thought my being here might help conversation flow easier. After all, the three of you are a little more familiar with me than you are with our dear inspectors.”

Y/N sat there and nodded, pulling her legs up under herself as she got more comfortable. “I think you helped us relax a bit. I know Wanda seems better than she had been earlier.” She sighed. “She could have done without seeing what happened to Annie, but I guess it was unavoidable.”

Loki sipped on his tea before offering his thoughts. “It is grim business to be involved in, and certainly not for the faint of heart — though I would not peg any of you ladies as such — but it is always harder when it is someone you know lying on the pavement.”

“How do you do it?”

“Do what?” he asked, momentarily confused.

“This,” she pressed. She met his eyes now, gesturing around herself. “All of this. You have to witness such gruesome things on a daily basis, most of them up close too. You have to bear witness to how vicious and violent people can be. Does it not horrify you when you see what we do to each other?”

Loki was known, especially by his living patients and colleagues, for having a silver tongue, the ability to string together words, and to talk himself out of anything. It was a proficient skill that he had trained just as much as his medical knowledge. This was, however, not a question he was asked often. Sometimes, PCs Barnes or Wilson may jest and make their usual exclamations such as “that’s nasty! How can you look at that without throwing up?” and he usually dismissed them with a sarcastic quip about how he loves the sight of lacerated organs. But he knew those men, and he did not know much about Miss Y/L/N. Still, he knew by her tone and the events of the day that her question was a genuine one that she wanted to understand. Even though she worked a difficult job and probably saw her fair share of unpleasant sights in Whitechapel, she wanted to better understand how he did what he did. It was clear that her question came from a place of confusion, distress, and genuine interest, and this was a new interaction for him. He didn’t have the urge to reply with dismissive sarcasm or disinterest. Despite the fact he knew very little about this woman, he still wanted to talk to her because she wanted to listen.

Regardless of the anxiety that came with talking to someone about such a personal matter, he was somehow willing to explore it. He barely knew Y/N, and maybe that was the reason why he did it.

“Of course it does.” He paused, carefully keeping his tone level and focusing on the still hot cup in his large hand. “In my experience, you eventually become somewhat desensitised to the horrors you witness. It never becomes wholly manageable, but only a little easier to deal with as more time passes. It is definitely something for only a few lucky people to do, but there are still days when I witness something so… nauseating that sleep eludes me or I turn to a strong whiskey to forget.”

“That certainly doesn’t sound easy,” she said after a few beats of silence between them, the other people in the room forgotten. “You must be very passionate about medicine to be in this line of work.”

“I suppose I am.”

“What made you want to become a doctor?”

He felt her eyes on him again, and turned to meet them, momentarily transfixed by their vibrant colour. He smirked. “Eager to learn more about me, are you?”

“I don’t exactly get the opportunity to ask doctors questions such as these,” she chuckled, opting to grab a biscuit and munch on it. “Usually I just experience a very swift visit with the doctors who check in on all the women that work at the brothel. We hardly get on the subject of how we ended up in our respective professions while they are making sure we’re not pregnant or ill.”

“A fair point,” he agreed and fiddled with his cravat in an attempt to loosen it. “If you must know, I have been fascinated with anatomy from a young age. That, and I liked the idea of helping people.”

“You do not exactly come across as the helpful sort.” When he raised a brow at her, she quickly elaborated. “Ah, that’s not exactly what I meant to say—”

Her mild awkwardness amused him. It was a vast change from the challenging woman he had previously encountered. Loki wouldn’t exactly be himself if he wasn’t eager to poke fun at her for it. “Well, colour me well and truly offended.”

“Dr Laufeyson—”

“It is Loki,” he cut her off, using the lull in conversation to take a biscuit for himself. “Just because you have offended me does not mean that you must start calling me by my title. As stated previously, we are on level playing terms.”

“Loki,” she began again, treading carefully. “What I meant to say was you don’t exactly express an obvious air of concern for others. You definitely seem intelligent and knowledgable and show a genuine interest in your craft, but caring was not a characteristic I would have chosen for you.”

He chuckled bitterly. “You are not the first person to say that to me, darling. And I am sure you shan’t be the last.”

“I wasn’t finished my point.”

“Well, don’t stop on my account.”

“Look, I meant what I said; you didn’t come across as someone overly concerned with others. But then again, you showed up here with the intention of making us, well, more specifically Wanda, feel at ease. You didn’t necessarily have to do that. And not that it’s a big deal, but it was nice of you to make me tea as well. I’ll admit that I didn’t expect even these little caring gestures from you, but I can see now how you would become a doctor so that you can help others.” She finished her explanation and then shrugged. “It makes a little more sense to me now.”

“You seem to be quite good at reading people.”

“Yes, well with a profession such as mine, you more of less have to learn in order to stay safe. It’s something I’ve had to practice over time, but I think I have made a fair go at your character.”

Before he could stop himself, he was suddenly replying with a joke. “And here I was thinking I was doing well to stay mysterious and aloof.”

“You can certainly do better, Loki,” Y/N joked back, and he felt glad that he hadn’t put her off. “Let’s just say that I am certainly right about you being a stuck up, arrogant toff.”

“Ouch… You wound me, my dear.”

“I aim to wound, Doctor. Speaking of...” She pointed to his cheek and winced a little. “Are you alright? I noticed earlier, but felt that Bucky annoyed you with enough questions about your wellbeing.”

His smile faded, and he suddenly recalled how he had acquired the cut on his cheek the night before. He turned his head and looked down at his hands for a moment so that the wound was no longer in her line of sight. He offered a small laugh before he answered. “I will be fine. Robbing is not exactly uncommon around here.”

“I know, but it’s hardly a pleasant experience either!”

“It is nothing I have not dealt with before,” he said, hoping she would simply drop it. “I can handle myself well enough.”

“If you say so.” If she was curious, she let it go for his sake. “At least I just wound you metaphorically.”

“Well, perhaps you would diverge from your wounding to instead humour me.”

“Humour you about what exactly?”

“By telling me how you come to your profession.” When she laughed at his suggestion, he frowned. “Well, it is only fair considering you asked about mine.”

“Yes well, I certainly didn’t chose my profession because I liked it,” she admitted, folding an arm cross her breast, a motion that did not go unnoticed by him. “I think we are both in very different positions.”

That much was clear to him as well. They were currently sitting on opposite ends of the spectrum when it came to work. Loki was no fool — he knew well that most women turned to prostitution out of desperation as apposed to personal preferences these days. Whitechapel wasn’t an area known for its flourishing opportunities. But he couldn’t help but wonder about Y/N and how she came to be in this position. Much like her friends, she was relatively young, younger than Annie Chapman had been anyway. At the same time, he supposed they were all simply women who found themselves stuck in a situation that was less than ideal. It was obvious to him that the reason she found companionship with Natasha and Wanda was their mutual understanding. “I preferred to not make any assumptions.”

“I’m sure your assumptions would be mostly correct.”

He hesitated for a moment before asking his next question, though he felt like the answer was clear already. “Do you have any family that could help?”

She stiffly shook her head before nodding to the two other women. “They would be the only family I have. My parents died quite suddenly, so I didn’t have much choice.”

“I’m sorry,” he offered weakly, well aware that his words would do little. “Were they ill?”

“Tuberculoses.” Her eyes glazed over as if she was no longer in the room or thinking much about their conversation. “It’s one hell of a thing.”

A sensitive subject, it would seem. Perhaps it would be best if I didn’t push that further...

“What about you?” she asked after taking a swift gulp of tea, eager to forget her own memories. “Any family or other Laufeysons floating about?”

“No,” he answered quickly before he could stop himself. She was looking at him quizzically, but he merely repeated himself. “No one of note. It’s just me.”

“At least we have something in common,” she offered, but there was a clear note of sympathy in her voice, one that caused him to look down at his cup again. “Although it’s not a great thing to share.”

“I suppose not, although I am quite content with my own company.”

“All the time?”

“Well with company such as me, how could I not be content?”

She chuckled at that, and he was glad that she found his arrogance amusing rather than annoying or distasteful. “I wish I could feel that way about being alone sometimes.”

“You unfortunately have to learn to manage when it is unavoidable, Y/N.”

“As long as you’re not forcibly excluding yourself, of course.”

He paused, irked by the insinuation, mostly because he knew it to be true in his own circumstances. While he was teased by his colleagues for being a loner, it wasn’t a lie. Bar his patients and his colleagues with whom he worked, he rarely socialised with anyone else. It wasn’t entirely self inflicted, but he had resided himself to that way of life, and he was happy with it. Wasn’t he?

They sat in comfortable silence for a little while, each of them finishing their tea and once again realising the dire situation with which they were so tightly bound. Even when lighthearted conversations could be had, it seemed that the murders and their horror were inescapable. They were both in the thick of it, but Loki couldn’t help but wonder how Y/N felt about it. Yes, they were both hunting the same monster, but said devil was hunting only one of them.

After a while, she spoke again, exhaustion evident in her voice. “My mother used to say that life could be a right load of shite sometimes.”

“Elegant,” he noted. “But also true. It can be tough.”

“The sooner I realised that fact, the better off I was.”

The conversation drifted after that. It never returned to the former depth with which it had begun, but Dr Laufeyson was somewhat relieved to instead speak of things that held little meaning. He always hated small talk, but on this occasion it was welcomed. It did him until the interview had ended and the women were escorted back to the White Swan by Chief Inspector Strange. Inspector Stark thanked Loki for his cooperation once again before the pair of them made their way back to the mortuary.

It was here that they made several unpleasant discoveries.

The first of which was that in spite of PC Wilson’s presence, two nurses had stripped and washed down Annie Chapman’s body after being instructed to do so by the Clerk of the Workhouse Guardians. Dr Laufeyson was so angry that he very nearly flung the clerk on to the street. He had never seen Stark as exasperated before, and his superior’s similar reaction helped to validate his own anger. After a lot of shouting, damning, and cursing, Dr Laufeyson was allowed to carry out his post-mortem. Stark sat in the room with him, grumbling about the idiocy of the mortuary’s employees.

“It is as if they are trying to tamper with the investigation,” he ranted, massaging his temples. “I swear, Loki, my brain is this close to exploding.”

“Shall I perform your post-mortem as well then?”

“Ha, ha, ha. Very funny. I just can’t believe they would do this again…”

Stark kept talking, but Loki zoned out as he turned his attention from Anne’s neck wounds to the large gash on her abdomen. He opened her up to survey the damage inside. What lay waiting (or rather, not waiting) for him both baffled and startled him.

He felt the blood drain from his face at the sight.

Stark was still rambling, but he couldn’t her any of it.

“Stark?”

“… if they’ve tampered with the evidence—”

“Stark?”

“—I swear, Strange won’t let me hear the end of this—”

“Stark?”

“—I shall tell that wanker that the only one who can boss me around is me—”

Loki couldn’t help but run out of patience. “For God sake, Stark!”

The inspector threw his hands in the air and spun around to face him. “What?”

“Her womb is gone!”

Silence engulfed the room.

Stark stood frozen on the spot, his face twisted into an expression of dread and confusion. “Her… womb?”

“Is gone,” Loki finished, turning his attention back down to the disfigured body. “He cut it out.”

In fairness to Stark, he did come to the doctor’s side so that he could peer at the damage himself. He was silent for a long moment, his eyes scanning over the wound. “What the hell are we dealing with?”

“A man with anatomical knowledge,” Dr Laufeyson pondered, unable to pull his gaze away from the mess of mangled flesh and muscle on the table. “A doctor perhaps?”

As he spoke, Inspector Stark’s voice held every ounce of hatred that the man possessed. “This isn’t a man, Doctor. He is beyond that. Whatever we are dealing with, it is more like a devil.”

Despite wanting to remain hopeful to some extent, when Loki studied the work done by the murderer, he couldn’t help but feel the dread that Stark was expressing. The brutality with which this woman’s life was stolen was now as clear as day. This was way out of their comfort zone. Far beyond it.

This was otherworldly.

This was evil.

And they were not ready for it.

Taglist: @heysliver @lisalisa007 @ava-royal @eloisemacguffin @tvdplusriverdale @trickster-grrrl @mellow-mischief @arttasticgreatnessoftheawesome77

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dammitadolfnomorecake · 7 years

Text

Attack on Lycan 3

Stalking through the hallways, Levi glared openly at everyone he passed. Thanks to Eren's sudden appearance and segregation from the rest of the soldiers, he'd become the focus of an endless amount of rumours... so as the kids baby sitter, he'd been dragged into the mess the brat had caused. Erwin needed to do something about this, or more than once person was going to find their wagging tongue cut from their shitty mouths.

Not bothering with knocking, Levi entered Erwin's office with a low growl

"Levi, I've been expecting you"

"Of course you have"

Rolling up his sleeve, Erwin held out his left arm

"I'm not here for that"

"You always get so cranky when you don't eat"

"I'm not here for that. I'm here for because of that shitty brat"

"Giving up already?"

"No, but there's something wrong with him"

"Other than he can turn into a Lycan?"

"It's his smell. According to Hanji, the kid stinks like a wet dog"

Erwin frowned at him, his commander lowering his arm as he did

"Is that not the case?"

"No. He smells sweet, too sweet. There's something in his scent that's making my teeth ache"

Leaning back in his chair, Erwin's frown deepened

"He smells sweet?"

"He smells like blood"

Normally "sweet" and "blood" didn't belong together, but he had no other way to describe the teen's scent. Eren had been walking through castle, trailing that sweet smell all over the place, while completely oblivious to its effects. It was unsettling to say the least, and left him uneasy

"I see. What did Hanji say?"

"She said Eren has developed scent glands on both his neck and inner thighs"

"We already knew he wasn't human, but I wasn't expecting this. We'll need to have Hanji conduct a biopsy on these glands, and for now, he'll need to use scented soaps and keep his neck covered"

"That might have to wait. Eren seems to be sick. Hanji reported Eren felt warm and he admitted to not feeling well"

"Why didn't you bring this to my attention straight away? We can't risk him being sick and his condition speaking"

Pushing his chair back hard enough for it to grate loudly against the wooden floor, Erwin rose to his full height

"Where do you think you're going?"

"To check on him. If this is contagious, we need to act immediately"

"That doesn't mean you personally need to check on him. In fact, it's all the more reason for you to stay away"

Erwin was their leader, despite his obvious need for answers, putting himself in harms was an unacceptable risk as far as Levi was concerned

"It's my duty as commander to ensure the safety of the personal under my command"

Striding from behind his desk and across the room, Erwin was clearly not going to listen to him, so what was the point in arguing the matter further.

The moment Erwin opened the door that lead down to the basement cell, they were both hit with an odour so thick that Levi could taste it on his tongue. Pulling his cravat free, Levi tied it around his face to cover his nose and mouth. The smell had him practically giddy, like a cat with catnip. Erwin on the other hand was openly gagging

"I'll go"

Shaking his head, Erwin pulled his handkerchief from his pocket and held it against his face. Given all they'd seen and experienced, it must be truly revolting for the man to go to such lengths.

By the time they reached Eren's cell, Levi's body felt leaden. His skin was crawling knowing he would come out of this smelling like Eren, yet the sweetness that swirled around him had all but robbed him of his rationality. But whatever he was feeling was driven from his mind when his eyes finally found Eren hiding under his bed while in his wolf form. It was like the brat was seriously injured, as long whimpers and whines fell between small pants and huffs

"Get Hanji down here. We need to know what's going on"

"We can't let her in with him while he's like this, there's no telling what he might do"

"Do you have a better idea?"

"Let me shoot him. I'll make it quick, he'll be dead before he even realises"

"No... I don't think his goal is to hurt us. He seems more in pain, as if he's the one who's hurting"

"What? The shitty brat couldn't survive a 6km jog? He wouldn't have made it this far if he couldn't survive basic training"

As if finally noticing they were there, Eren dragged himself from under his bed, before making his way towards them on very unsteady legs. Reaching the bars, the teen slid his muzzle through and let out a long whine

"Eren. Nod your head if you can understand us"

Whining again, Eren dropped heavily to the floor. Great. The last thing they all needed was for the brat to drop dead under unusual circumstances

"Levi. Go find Hanji"

"Will you be able to stomach the smell?"

Giving him a stern and somewhat disapproving look, Levi nodded before turning away from Eren. Whatever this was, he wanted no part in it.

Word of the foul odour must have already reached Hanji, as he'd barely set foot into the hallway before walking squarely into her

"Whoa! Levi, are you ok?"

"It's that brats stench. He's gone and shifted into a wolf"

Hanji practically squealed with excitement, the loud cry stabbing into his brain with all the gentleness of a thousand knives. Swaying on his feet, he was embarrassed by the fact that Hanji had to catch him

"Levi, have you eaten?!"

"I'm fine. It's the smell. I'll go get something to eat after this is dealt with"

"If it's affecting you this badly..."

"Drop it shitty glasses. Just do your job so I can do mine"

Hanji hummed, some how managing to look concerned over his welfare, but excited over Eren's wolf form at the same time. When they said he shifted, he was expecting to see a more werewolf form, not this shaggy brown wolf that looked like it'd gotten on the wrong side of a hunters trap. He'd seen more appealing half starved mutts running around in the underground. Following Hanji silently down the stair, he kept a hand firmly against the wall as they went.

"Hanji. You're here rather fast"

While Hanji disregarded the fact Erwin's hand was in Eren's mouth, Levi couldn't help but feel that was the whole reason his commander was down here. Being an ordinary man had always been a bitter pill for Erwin to swallow, and now Eren had shown up from no where, and with this never before seen gift

"Levi, can you unlock the cell for me?"

"Can't you just examine him through the bars?"

"No. I need to take samples, and I need to make sure he isn't injured"

"Wouldn't he heal if he was?"

"Levi, unlock the cell. I've got a firm hold on Eren's mouth, so there's very little he can do to hurt Hanji"

"He could just bite through your hand"

"I doubt he wants to"

Following Erwin's orders, Levi held the door open for Hanji, before locking it after she was inside the cell. There was no he was dealing with any unnecessary paperwork, or the potential fall out from his friends being idiots. Keeping his eyes on Hanji, she didn't even hesitate as she walked over to Eren, before kneeling down and placing both her hands on the boys pelt

"Wow. He's so soft. I mean, he looks like he'd be all wiry, but he's super soft. Levi, you should feel this"

"Or I could not, and you could do your damn job"

Rolling her eyes, Hanji's hands moved across Eren's stomach

"Eren, I want you to whimper if it hurts"

Given Eren was already whimpering, Levi was pretty much certain Hanji hadn't thought this through.

From his stomach, Hanji had then moved to Eren's mouth, before working her way down his whole body... including the boys arse. This was something else he definitely didn't need to see

"Hanji, leave his arse alone"

"But Levi, you should see this. His arse is oozing this fluid, almost like a woman would when she's aroused. I'm beginning to think due to his wolf DNA, Eren's gone into a rut..."

"You said he was human"

"That's because other than the scent glands, I didn't find anything out of the normal and you know I haven't had a chance to do a thorough internal examination"

"How do we treat this?"

"If he is in a rut, it means his body is calling out for a suitable mate. I'm not saying we have to find another wolf for him to do the do with, but I would recommend quarantining him until his symptoms fade. The thing with wolves is that they mate for life, a they are highly protective of their mate and offspring. No doubt if we were to give Eren someone to mate with, he'd imprint on them, and see them as his mate, which could be highly problematic during the future. I know we've had no success with sedating werewolves, but given Eren was born human, we should be able to keep him unconscious for the time being"

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Levi nodded

"We'll also need a secondary set of chains for in here. He'll be easily able to slip the ones made of his human form"

"Levi. You can't just chain him up"

"How is it any different from pumping him full of drugs? We know nothing about him"

"And we knew nothing about you either when you first showed up"

Levi shot a glare at Hanji, she way out of line. He was at least more human than Eren...

"I was useful from day one, Eren on the other hand has been nothing but trouble"

Throwing herself over Eren, Hanji rubbed her face against Eren's coat as her hand moved to pat Eren's head, cooing over the teen as she did

"Eren probably didn't even know what was happening. He did say he felt sick, didn't you Eren"

"Enough. Hanji, Eren will be chained and you will monitor all changes in him. Levi, Hanji won't be drugging Eren so you'll be expected to keep watch over the pair of them"

"Alright. Levi, can you tell Moblit what's happening, he'll organise everything we need"

"Hanji. You're not staying in there without supervision. Levi, I'll leave you to deal with Hanji"

Great. No one was able to deal with Hanji. The woman was a force to be reckoned with at the best of times.

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intheheartofthematter · 5 years

Text

So you know and to myself

I hate to bring this up, and there are many more incidents throughout my life, but I think at least this much should be told. Before I worked at the roofing company as Operations Manager, I worked at another commercial roofing company for almost 6 years as AP/AR Manager and a few other jobs when needed... My boss, another owner, would introduce me at times as his Jack of all trades, master of some. (ha. unnecessary interjection, but I’m reflecting too.) My aunt worked there as well before she retired. One day T wanted me to sign her up for a karate tournament (pronoun at the time, will be used). I had a deadline of a little more than an hour left, so I had to ask permission (very strict business) if I could have the form faxed to me, take a few minutes to fill it out, and fax it back. My request was approved. By the time the tournament sign-up form came through on the fax I had very little time left to fax it back. My aunt saw it come through at the same time I did and grabbed it. I gave her a brief moment to look at it, but she started to walk away and take it to her desk. I asked if I could have it, needing to quickly fax it back, and she said, “No. I’m her aunt. I want to read it first.” I said something stupid back, like, “Well, I’m her mom and I need to read it first and get it filled out.” Anyway, after another long minute, with a hmph and a wrinkled up nose at me, she finally handed it to me. Her day ended at 4pm and it was already after that hour. We both often worked late. My day ended at 5. And, at the time my mom was staying with my aunt temporarily while her move to Florida was in process. She goes home, and tells my mom who knows what! and my mom comes to my place of employment, stomps up to the front door with clenched fists, a few coworkers are gasping, saying, “Who is that?” before she opened the door. I reluctantly reply, “My mom.” To sum it up, she stormed in, in front of everyone, and said, “Get your shit! We’re leaving.” I ask her why, is it an emergency, etc. No answer, but her anger escalated, “I said get your shit! You’re leaving with me NOW!” I said, “NO. I get off work in a little while. I can talk to you then.” She then picked up a section of the switchboard, screaming a whole lot at me, and came after me with it, hitting me with part of it. I mostly got out of the way in time. Two people quickly grabbed her arms, forced them behind her back, and dragged her out the door, backward. But as that was happening, she got partially loose and grabbed the door frame, facing me, and said, “Caryl, you’re crazy. You need to go back into the hospital.” (In front of everyone I work with!)... I looked her dead in the eyes, and said, “I’ve never been in a hospital (truth), but I think that’s where you need to be.” Brave of me at the time, because I was still afraid to stand up to my mom. I didn’t meet up with her after that. Anyway, the owner of the company, who always had everyone walking on eggshells, got wind of it from the office manger who saw it all... OMG! He called me into his office the next day. I thought I was going to be fired. He hugged me!!! He told me that he was going to talk to my aunt next, who would be informed that if her sister (not my mom)... her sister... EVER set foot on his property again, he would call the police and SHE would be fired! (Working with her after that was a nightmare, her treatment of me. Noticeable to everyone. She was warned a few times to act professionally towards me or be fired. Rick hired me not long after.)

So...

After he confronted my aunt, she went home and told my mom, which led to my mom leaving me a message on my answering machine saying that I was disowned from the family due to irreconcilable differences, that I never should have been rude to my aunt like that, blaming me for almost getting my aunt fired, and that she’d be informing the rest of the family that I want nothing to do with them! Me! Not her not wanting anything to do with me! Laurie, already a practicing psychologist in the midst of earning a PhD, came over (we lived 3 doors down from each other at the time) and listened to the message in disbelief. She then reminded me of how my mom had always been like that towards me while growing up (not physically, though), why she always felt protective of me, and that it was time to let her go... don’t respond, don’t play into her games, just focus on recovering emotionally. (And, at the time, I was already dealing with T’s dad threatening me all the time, death threats, coming around, stalking me... having him arrested, his family calling and demanding I drop charges. A lot to deal with, basically.)

Within a week, my mom started showing up to T’s elementary school, leaving packages, demanding to see her granddaughter during class, and shitty stuff like that. The school called me in for a meeting, wanting to know what was going on, saying that they can’t allow her to come on school grounds anymore, or accept packages, not knowing if a bomb would be in one, lol... seriously! And that they would have no choice but to call the police if she stepped foot on school grounds again. I told them I would let her know, so I had to call her. That didn’t go over well. She blamed me, of course. Her next move was to write letters to my main friends, T’s family on her dad’s side (who I was already distancing myself from), my grandparents, my dad, and a few family members on my mom’s side. Basically, each letter was different... everyone contacted me, one by one, reading them to me. She was trying to turn everyone against me after disowning me. Laurie was livid over the letters she and her parents received, and called my mom to confront her and defend me, also telling her she’d better back off and stop tormenting me or she’d hire a lawyer. All contact with me, and anyone she had written letters to, ceased after that for 3 years! until I received a card from my mom with a card-printed message that read, “I forgive you.” Call me, mom. I laughed. I told Laurie I was going to call her, against her advice. I did. She said she missed being in T’s life and that was the main reason she contacted me again. I told her that we could see how things go, but if she caused any problems or tried to control my life in any way again, she would be the one to be shut out. T was about 5 years old when she disowned me. And after a little time passed, when T was 9, I let her fly out to visit my mom in Florida - when and where the letter with T’s story was written. Since then, when my mom has tried anything with me I’ve immediately distanced myself again - not cut her off. She did some terrible things to T over time, and T won’t have it, only sees my mom on a rare occasion if she’s in town, but no regular contact, ever. My mom doesn’t have an interest anymore since T’s changes, too. My mom basically acts like T doesn’t exist. No love loss on T’s part. For me, it’s harder. It hurts that my child isn’t loved, and disconnected from the family, other than my aunt and brother, mostly due to my mom and her gossip within our family. When the extended family ever sees me, they often forget I have a child until I bring it up. My mom usually looks mortified and I stop talking. We do not have a good relationship at all. And after my mom told the rest of the family that I wanted nothing to do with them, when she and I started talking again, and I was invited around them again, they were confused by it all. Not wanting to badmouth my mom to them, I just said that we had differences, but let them know that SHE disowned me for 3 years, and that I never wanted to be separated from anyone.

And she never has any compassion towards me over anything I had to do or went through with T’s cancer, my dad becoming paralyzed and my role through all the years before his death, and with Alex or anyone since... She wanted to buy the urn for my dad, her first husband, which I accepted. But she didn’t even contact me when my grandpa died and all I had to deal with out of state. They never let me grieve and expect me to bounce back to normal overnight. She only concerns herself with how well I’m helping out my aunt and looking out for my brother, and on occasion starts in on me in nasty and negative ways, saturated in criticism, on how I need to do this or that with things concerning my own life... and then the distancing starts all over again. Keep in mind, this is just a few things in my ADULT life. The things I went through as a child and had to deal with on my own, no emotional support from my mother, yet always defending and protecting her were bad enough. I’m not implying I’m a saint or expect pats on my back, it’s more a description of the behavior of someone mentally abused.

The most recent, before the trouble brewing now, was when my dad was near the end, the nursing home calling me often because he was refusing to listen to them and accept care, and other things, so I had a lot going on with him at the same time my aunt was in the hospital, then released, in my care again... cooking and serving meals, bathing and dressing her, cleaning up after her, portable potty, the whole shebang, like always. And at the same time shortly after my brother’s incident of being stranded for 3 days, no food and water, on the military base, then had to outrun a fire. His rental car burned completely. I had begged him not to take the trip up to my mom’s in Northern CA, where she lived at the time, because I could tell his medications were affecting him in bad ways, when the tardive dyskinesia was beginning too, but there was no talking him out of it. I later found out that he had planned the trip for Mother’s Day to be the last time to see her, because he planned to kill himself. When he was rescued, he was mentally gone... in part due to the trauma and dehydration of his brain too, off his meds, etc. It took hours before he could remember a phone number, and couldn’t remember our names, for them to contact us. I got the call. His ID and everything burned up in the car. So, after we brought him home, he was bad, like manic and not sleeping, and doing bizarre things like sneaking out of the house in the middle of the night, stripping off his clothes, running from me when I’d try to get him back into the house, arguing, pushing me down and more. He didn’t know what he was doing and I was trying to care for my aunt by myself, take care of the house and animals too, and I couldn’t get any sleep watching them both. So, I called my mom and asked for her help. I told her that I could handle everything but dealing with him too and to please come get him and take him to her house to help him, temporary if not longer. She drives down, sees what I’m talking about, takes him into the ER of our local hospital. They keep him overnight for observation and a psych evaluation. She spent the night there with him. Calls and asks me to pack a suitcase for him because they determined he needs to go into a mental rehabilitation facility, but she comes back with him! And she almost got into lawful trouble over it. When she decided she didn’t want him getting that type of help, after thinking about it, she asked them to release him and they refused saying that it’s been determined he is required to be admitted for the safety of himself and others, and she argued she was just going to take him home anyway... staff stopped her, discussions with doctors ensued, and they let him leave with her because she said he would be in HER CARE and she would get him the treatment through a private facility instead of the one his disability insurance would place him in. Well, she went home the next day without him. When I got upset over it, reminding her that I was overwhelmed as is, and I had called her to come get him, she yelled at me, “GROW UP! You need to take responsibility. He’s your brother!” I yelled back, “He’s YOUR son! I’m your daughter, and I’m begging for your help.” Of course, I got labeled as the loose cannon with a temper, unreasonable, selfish, along those line... getting an earful from her husband later, too, then my aunt and their brother... all because they listen to each other and never to me, always siding with each other, always expecting me to do for them, respect them no matter how I’m treated, and never argue back. It’s maddening. And for the most part, when I stand up for myself, they tend to back off now... but it never lasts... and now while I’m dealing with my own health issues, instead of being emotionally supportive, they’re kicking me when I’m down. I would explain more, and might in small details at some point, but I have a lot to figure out again. Oh! And, when my mom went home, leaving me to care for my brother too, she’d order me around on how to handle it all. Not make nice suggestions, caring at all about me too, but actually get nasty. When I had to take my brother to the psychiatrist and neurologist until he began to regain normalcy, through a lot of changes we incorporated, early on my mom called up his psychiatrist and demanded this and that, and kept calling. He told me that my mom is not allowed to have any part of his care, and that if she continued to harass him or his office he would call the police, which he told her! I didn’t have to that time. She threatened to sue him. More to the entire story, but this whole mess of words, quickly typed, is long enough. It actually opened up a lot of old wounds too, as I kinda told T, in the text, so I’m feeling quiet. I’m stuck in a bad situation that’s about to get worse and I can’t take more. I held off on posting this, but I think I’m okay with sharing here, for myself at least, now.

Yesterday:

Today (had to open read more to show it all)

Oh, I tried pineapple today. Stitch on the table, so I turned him for a selfie.

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nextgennews-blog1 · 7 years

Text

Knowing My Limits by Elizabeth Scher

The greatest gift I ever received was getting fired for the first time. I, like so many in the restaurant industry, am a struggling performer. I had been making my way through the ebb and flow of constant rejection, and not necessarily handling it well.

For the past few years at this point, I had been bouncing around from restaurant to restaurant. I had just moved to New York in 2013 and was having difficulty finding my footing. Wherever I worked was filled with a myriad of issues. I never made enough money, there were never enough shifts, the managers were terrible, etc. There was rampant sexual harassment everywhere I worked. This, unfortunately, was to be expected.

I have been battling severe anxiety for years, which, at this point, been repressed to dangerous degrees. In July 2016 I reached a point where it could no longer be ignored. Realizing I could not safely live on my own, I went back home. I let my job know, and they were incredibly supportive. At no point did they show annoyance or belittle my experience, and I will forever be grateful for that. In fact, many of my coworkers and bosses could empathize seeing as how many have gone through similar issues themselves. Working in restaurants, you are bound to find people who have gone through what are patronizingly referred to as “imaginary problems”. Issues such as addiction, depression, anxiety, extreme anger, etc. Ailments where ignorant advice is given such as “just learn to smile more,” or “it’s all in your head.”

I eventually got to the point where I could live on my own and go back to work. I insisted that working in a restaurant was not contributing to my anxiety. In spite of the following events I still believe this to be true. The types of problems that arise in a restaurant are often immediately resolved. My anxiety is generally concerned with the abstract and/or long term. In a restaurant you have many problems at once, but there is often a clear solution. That being said, I did not go back to work full time. I felt, as did my doctor, that I needed to ease into normalcy. My wallet disagreed, but my body felt it necessary to listen. My job was very cooperative, yet again, and I was allowed to come back on a part-time basis. Based on how I have been talking about this place is seems like the ideal serving experience. It is, however, by far the most dramatic place I have ever worked. I have seen drunk servers fight customers. I, myself, pulled a knife out of a cook’s hands to stop him from cutting himself. One time a manager was fired for literally stalking another manager. This place made Maury seem like a lovely family reunion.

There is one important character that is integral to much of the drama that took place. His name is Jake. Jake was the bane of everyone’s existence. He was an annoyingly loud regular who was crude, young, rich, traditionally handsome, and had a hoard of fake friends at his disposal. The main bartender, Evan, who was also good friend of mine, happened to be rather fond of Jake. Jake essentially paid Evan’s entire salary so it’s hard not to see why Evan had his back. Jake is a truly disgusting person. He would sexually harass every woman, but that is to be expected. He manipulated a host into sending what I’ll politely call “suggestive” videos, and then showed them to all of his friends. He would hand out cocaine like it was candy as though we were some sort of drug Santa. He called one of my friends, a fellow server named Brittany, a “miserable cunt” and was subsequently “banned” for 10 days. He tried to go back the next day as if nothing happened. The only reason he even got reprimanded was because Brittany was leaving for graduate school at the end of the week. The minute she left he was back to his old antics with full force. He has done, and continues to do, terrible things with no punishment. The final straw for me was when he exposed himself to a coworker and a female manager. I personally witnessed the female manager reporting it to the the higher ups and nothing was done. Jake didn’t even so much get a slap on the wrist.

Jake started to weigh on my mind more than I care to admit. Before he was just a slimy irritation, but I never thought he actually would effect me in the way that he did. I started to have panic attacks about possible scenarios involving him. They were only in my imagination, but there was something different about them than my other panic induced downward spirals. Although these events were fabricated, they were not out of the realm of possibility. Jake’s money made him very appealing to the higher ups. He was even being courted as an investor for a future location. He was untouchable. I was starting to think that he could literally rape us and the owner would just say we shouldn’t have been in his way. Unrealistic, yes, but given the way rape is treated these days, that idea is more realistic than I wish it was.. At one point I literally broke down crying about this in the middle of Union Square. There I was, sitting on the sidewalk on a Saturday night, crying about a piece of shit who, frankly, had already mostly decided not to mess with me. I wasn’t exactly nice to him after he called Brittany a cunt.

One of the main lessons I took away from my mental breakdown was to stop repressing stress. I decided I needed to confront this issue. I couldn’t go to management because that had already proven to be futile. At best we were ignored and at worst we were openly mocked. What I decided to do was talk to Evan, the bartender, and my friend. Evan and I grew close because we would commute together. We would rant to each other, talk about our fears and frustrations, and confide in each other. He has fought and won many battles that I won’t go into out of respect for his privacy. He helped me while I was struggling and I will always love him for that. What I thought I could do is go to Evan, as a friend, with my fears about Jake seeing as he actually has some influence. Evan isn’t a manager, but he could deny service. Another thing to mention about Evan is that he is incredibly defensive and stubborn. He has alienated a lot of people who have confronted him about similar issues. I knew that if I confronted him there was a possibility that I could lose a friend. It was one of the hardest things I ever had to do, but I had no choice. The conversation went exactly as I expected. I was crying, he was yelling, I was saying we don’t feel safe, he said I should have gone to management and not him. I said that these were panic induced thoughts, but felt they were still legitimate worries. I suggested that Jake not be given so many “perks” which, I felt, validated his behavior. I also said that Evan encouraged this behavior. He did not take kindly to that. Both of us were emotional and probably not as articulate as we could have been. I had to go to work as he was leaving for the day. I went to cry before my shift, he went right to management.

I left for a little while because I was already scheduled to go on vacation with my family. I came back after about ten days where I learned I was no longer allowed to work shifts until I have a talk with the general manager. My coworkers agreed that I was probably going to be fired in this “talk.” We all agreed that this was, in fact, probably what I needed. This place was making me miserable and the environment was toxic. Lo and behold, I come in the next morning and I have the “talk.” The general manager said I was “causing unnecessary drama.” and they can’t have that, especially from a part-time employee. I then asked him if I could explain why I did what I did. I did not hold back. I explained how I was coming to Evan as a friend, how going to management was futile, and how genuinely terrified we all are around Jake at times. I also made a point to tell him about how Brittany, the aforementioned “miserable cunt,” had gone to the owner the day before that incident occurred. She went to the owner, with another manager, and raised her concerns about Jake. She stated that he is always condescending and sexually harasses her. She had also said that she was afraid to go to the owner about this because she was scared to talk negatively about his friend. The owner’s response to these concerns was “well next time they do that say ‘yeah, well Evan doesn’t have these,’” and made fake breast gestures. It bears repeating that this was in front of another manager; the general manager apparently never knew about that incident. I also thanked the general manager for treating me so well when I needed the time off. It is a rare thing, and I still wanted to show appreciation.

I am not happy about how the confrontation went down, but I am happy I did it. If I had to get fired for anything I’m happy it was for standing up for myself and my coworkers. The whole experience made me realize that I never want to work in restaurants ever again. I wish I could say this type of incident is uncommon. I can’t count how many times a female coworker, at any restaurant I’ve worked, has encountered sexual harassment that has made them feel genuinely unsafe. At one point or another, at this place, every single female staff member had to be talked out of quitting over the sexism. We all said the same line: “it’s just part of the job.”

I learned that I can be a commanding force if I need to be. The whole experience has made me stronger. I still battle with anxiety daily and I am adjusting to the treatment I receive for it, but it has made me a better person. I’ve realized that learning how to get rid of unnecessary stress is difficult, but crucial. The second I walked out of that restaurant after being fired a huge weight was lifted off of my shoulders, as cliche as that sounds. I mean that in a very real sense; I feel lighter. Job searching is awful, but I will take that any day over forcing myself to suppress more anxiety. I know my limits. More importantly, I know how to properly expand my limits without causing more stress. Baby steps are crucial and not a sign of weakness. I always thought that getting fired would be humiliating. I never considered that it could be the most empowering thing that has happened to me. I will be forever grateful.

#anxiety #feminism #restaurantindustry #knowingyourself #recovery #babysteps

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