#stacy's mom?

[one-time-i-dreamt]

Stacy’s mom from the hit song Stacy’s mom is Jigsaw from hit movie series Saw. My gym teacher and I were stuck in the first Saw trap. I beat her up with a radiator and then chased Stacy’s mom in a high stakes chase scene.

Good dream.

[suncrat]

[cleverusernameh]

i think it's very interesting how the 80% of The Electric Company (2009) is a latent memory in my brain. Like, no joke, I rewatched an episode for Jack McBrayer reasons, and seeing all of the word segments in between was like waking up a set of sleeper agents---but they're all still a little sleepy so they're a bit fuzzy on all the instructions.

And then there's the entirety of Prankster Planet, which I also saw a video of just now and it's like??? Take me back??

This song feels like a part of that 20% I don't remember, which is frankly a shame since Manny and Danny are absolutely busting it up on this song.

Also this song feels like a retrieval cue for a different song, but I do not know what it is. best I've got is "Answers" by Goldfinger (which I'm adding below for fun), but my brain is not satisfied with that answer, so if you see this, please send any similar sounding songs my way!

the electric company doesn't like you

[sreppub]

Gotham galas in the early 2010s -> current/future robins following B around the ballroom like guard puppies

[marzipanandminutiae]

Stacy's Mom but the singer is a preschool teacher and Stacy is her favorite student, who has a really hot single mom

is that anything

[notbecauseofvictories]

Apropos of nothing, a mutual once suggested a series where the unnamed narrator of rock ballad "Stacy's Mom" slowly seduces every member of Stacy's family. I would like it on the record that I still think about that.

[luimnigh]

...so it turns out Stacy was not, in fact, a fellow teenager, but a mother herself.

Everyone calls this a song about MILFs when it's actually about a GILF.

[andrevasims]

(Video Source)

[spaceshipellie]

stacy’s mom

dina x masc!reader

part one (two)

summary: you want to fuck your friend’s mom and that’s it

warnings: MILF DINA HELLO, smut with friend’s mum, smut with plot, age gap (reader is early 20s and dina is in her 40s), reader is such a simp, eating out and fingering (d receiving), 18+ mdni

author’s note: i wanted to to try and write something with a more masc reader too and this seemed fitting so hope this doesn’t flop

˚ · • . ° .

it was summer and you were sitting in your friend stacy’s garden, drinking beer, listening to music, and laughing about dumb memories from the first year of college.

“i was so intimidated by you,” she blushed.

“nah, really?” you scoffed.

“yeah, you were this cool, mysterious skater girl.”

“oh i’m not cool and mysterious anymore?”

“well,” stacy laughed, “you are cool but not mysterious.”

she slapped the front of your baseball cap before ripping it off and putting it on herself.

“ow, hey,” you laughed.

“hi girls!” a sweet, intoxicating voice sounded from over by the conservatory door. your head snapped up. stacy’s mom. god, she was hot. your stomach flipped every time you saw her.

“hi mom.”

“hi dina.”

you allowed yourself a second to quickly look her over. she was wearing denim shorts and a tank top with no bra, holding a basket of laundry on her hip. you knew it was really wrong but there was something about her you couldn’t get out of your head. maybe it was the way her hips filled out her jeans, or the way her hair flowed over her shoulder, or the way her budded nipples poked through the fabric of her top. all you knew was that you could probably fuck her better than her boring ex husband. you watched as she went back inside, bending over to pick up a sock she dropped.

“are you listening to me?”

“sorry what?” your head snapped to stacy.

“you’re so weird,” she giggled, “anyway i was saying we should try that new milkshake place that opened up in the mall.”

“oh yeah, yeah sounds good,” your voice totally distracted.

˚ · • . ° .

stacy had dragged you around so many shops in the mall, making you watch as she gave little catwalks in the changing rooms. eventually you’d got the milkshakes and were now back at her house in the kitchen where dina was preparing dinner.

“hope you’re hungry,” she smiled at you.

you licked a bit of milkshake off your finger that had dripped down the glass, looking at her. “starved.”

“good, well dinner should be ready in about thirty minutes. seeing as it’s still so hot out i thought we’d eat outside by the pool?”

“okay sounds good, we’ll be down then!” stacy chirped, grabbing your arm to pull you upstairs. your eyes, still looking at dina, lagged as you looked away. it sounds great, you thought. you hoped that by the pool also meant going in the pool.

half an hour later, dina called up the stairs that dinner was ready. her hand brushed yours as she handed you a plate and you all sat around the patio table to eat. you could see dina had a bikini top on under her top now.

“how’s college going?” she asked you both.

“not bad, still think mrs clark hates me,” stacy said, shovelling food in her mouth.

“probably because you always skip her class,” you mumbled, playfully nudging stacy’s arm. she laughed and shushed you.

“what about you?” dina said, looking straight at you.

“it’s good, mrs clark loves me,” you joked. she laughed and it made your cheeks flush, a small smirk on your face. fucking hell this was getting too much.

after you were done eating, stacy jumped up to clear the table and take the plates indoors. you shifted in your seat having been left alone with dina. the silence was burning. you cleared your throat, running your hands down your jean covered thighs.

“you know last time i was here you hadn’t finished the pool yet, looks nice.”

“oh of course! well, you guys should go in.”

you hummed in response. you didn’t have any swimming stuff with you and definitely didn’t want to borrow any of stacy’s bikinis. you would have to go in in your boxers and sport bra, which on this occasion wasn’t the worst thing in the world.

“yeah sure.”

“i might join you,” dina said, loosely tying her hair in a bun, your eyes snuck a glance at how her fingers ran through her dark hair, “oh as long as you don’t mind me crashing your time with stacy,” she laughed.

“not at all,” you grinned at her. crash all you want, you thought. stacy returned, funnily enough with a bikini on.

“you coming in? i brought a bikini down for you to borrow but figured you probably don’t want it.”

“and you’d be right.” you pulled your t-shirt off over your head.

“i didn’t realise you had so many tattoos,” dina mused, seeming to admire the ink that adorned your arms and torso. you ran your hand over your stomach, instinctively looking over your tattoos yourself.

“they look great, i love them.” she was killing you.

“thanks.”

stacy was already in the pool when you started pulling your jeans off. you felt very exposed now just in your boxers but also thought fuck it and tried to keep your cool.

“jump in,” stacy giggled.

you took a couple steps back so you could run and cannonball into the pool, completely splashing stacy. when you resurfaced you rubbed the water from your eyes and shook your head. both dina and stacy were looking at you.

“you coming in then?” you nodded at dina.

she stood up and started peeling her tank top off, revealing a black string bikini. jesus. if that was bad, watching her undo the button and zipper on her denim shorts, and shimmying her hips out of them was utter torture. you knew it was wrong to stare, especially when her daughter, your friend, was right there but you couldn’t help it. you soaked in the way every inch of her body submerged into the water as she walked in. you adverted your eyes after realising you’d just been staring for ages. hopefully that sly smile on her face wasn’t because she had noticed.

you all floated around for a while, talking, trying stupid tricks. well, you doing stupid tricks to try and be impressive. it was getting late but as it was summer it was still light and warm out.

“this has been fun, but i’m off to bed,” dina said climbing out of the pool. you watched the way the water dripped off of her ass as she walked up the steps, grabbing a towel to wrap round herself.

“okay, night mom.”

“night,” you said.

“we should probably get out too,” stacy suggested and you agreed.

you were now lying on the pull out bed in stacy’s room in the dark, wearing loose sweatpant shorts and a baggy t-shirt. you couldn’t really sleep and stacy was long gone by now so you decided to get up and grab a glass of water from the kitchen.

“oh, sorry,” you mumbled upon seeing dina leaning against the counter by the sink, sipping on a mug of tea. she waved her hand as if to say carry on so you grabbed a glass and tried to ignore how close you were to her whilst you filled it up at the tap.

“can’t sleep?” she asked.

“no really, i’m basically nocturnal,” you laughed nervously. she laughed too. man, she had a pretty laugh.

“me too, i love staying up late when time allows.”

you leaned on the other counter and took a sip, watching the way she hugged the mug.

“it’s a lot more peaceful.”

“it is,” you agreed.

“like nobody knows what you’re doing.” was she…? she couldn’t be… but you could have sworn you saw her look you up and down when she said that.

“not a single clue.” you finished the water and moved closer to her, purposely leaning in slightly to place the glass by the sink behind her.

“well, g’night,” you said, your voice low.

as you turned you suddenly felt her hand grab yours so you spun around to look at her. her facial expression seemed to be a mix of wanting and contemplation. you decided to focus on the former. her hand didn’t leave yours for a moment before she realised and quickly pulled it back but she didn’t make any attempt to leave.

being taller than her, you looked down at her whilst you moved closer. you looked down and slowly reached for her hand again, testing to see how she’d react. she let you. you smirked to yourself before looking into her eyes, then her lips, then her eyes. fuck it. you leaned down to press a soft kiss on her lips. when you pulled away, your mouth hovering over hers she surprised you by grabbing your face and slamming your lips together again. your hands flew to her waist as you pinned her against the counter.

she moaned into the kiss and you took the opportunity to move your tongue against hers. it was hot and you couldn’t believe you were doing this right now. your arms wrapped around her waist and you let your hand rest half way on her ass. her hands travelled down to the hem of your t-shirt and flustered around with the amount of fabric before she managed to slip one underneath and brush your skin. oh, okay. if that’s what you want, that’s what you’ll get, you thought.

you pulled her tighter to your body as you moved the two of you around so that she was now pressed against a different counter. one she could sit on if necessary. she groaned as her back hit it. you started to move your kisses down to her neck.

“stacy can never know about this,” she whined breathlessly.

“mom’s the word.”

“that’s not funny,” she laughed.

“it’s pretty funny.”

your lips didn’t let up on her neck, now making their way back up to hers. you reached your hands down to her thighs and indicated for her to hop up onto the counter. you now stood between her legs, heads now the same height near enough and your hands glided up her thighs to her hips. hers became tangled in your hair as you started kissing down her body and getting onto your knees. you couldn’t believe your fucking luck right now.

you left small kisses on her inner thigh, your fingers dipping beneath the waistband of her shorts. you were half expecting her to tell you to stop, realising the situation, but her fingers only tightened themselves in your hair pushing you further. you pulled back and looked up at her whilst you peeled her shorts off, her lifting her ass to help you.

you pushed her legs further apart, exposing her glistening pussy. you could hear little whispered curses falling from her lips in anticipation.

you grinned to yourself, feeling smug, and looked up at her before flicking your tongue lightly over her clit. she flinched at the sensitivity. you gave her clit a few flicks before dragging your tongue up the length of her cunt, letting it slip between her folds.

“oh shit,” she whimpered.

you buried your face, laying your tongue flat against her, almost letting her grind herself onto you. you could taste how more slick was seeping out of her hole so you moved your fingers to tease at it.

“please,” she begged.

not wanting to push your luck too much you curled a finger inside her, letting her get used to it before slipping a second in. she let out a squeak and you laughed lightly before shushing her. the vibrations of your laugh sent a shock through her body. you worked your fingers in and out, relishing in the wet sounds it was making. your tongue kept flicking her clit until you could feel her clenching around your fingers and her legs fought to stay open.

“i’m gonna…”

“come for me.”

you fucked her through her orgasm and when her hand went limp in your hair and instead brushed it away from your face you pulled your fingers out and stood up. you placed your hands flat on the counter either side of her and leaned in, making her taste herself on your tongue. you grabbed her shorts beside you and pulled away from the kiss to help her put them back on and she hopped off the counter, still trapped by your frame.

“i should probably go to bed now,” she murmured.

“okay.”

she didn’t move still. her hands brushed your arms that hung at your sides. she leant up for another kiss before eventually lighting pushing you so she could get passed and head for the stairs. she stopped and turned, giving you a ‘i can’t believe that just happened’ smile and she put a hand over her mouth to stifle a laugh.

“right, i really am going to bed.”

you took a sip of your previously abandoned water and smirked at her, watching her disappear up the stairs.

the next morning you were grabbing your things to leave, downing the last mouthful of orange juice.

“we still good for the movies next week?” stacy asked.

“yeah, can’t wait.” you gave her a quick side hug.

“was good to see you,” dina smiled knowingly at you.

“thanks for dinner,” you said, then hugging her and mumbling in her ear, “and dessert.” she subtly slapped your arm. stacy seemed oblivious.

“right, bye.” you threw your backpack over one shoulder and left with a shit-eating grin on your face.

[elimultilastname]

HEAR ME OUT! For the DeliaxJessie shippers Jessie singing Stacy's mom but replace the Stacy name for Ash

[panlight]

She's not going to be "Renesmee" in public, right?

I mean, the Cullens are supposed to 'blend in.' Giving your child a one-of-a-kind name is not conducive to that. I suppose they didn't know she was going to be immortal but it wouldn't be a bad idea to assume she may be and consider that when choosing a name? It's the one time they could have made a strategic, thoughtful choice about it.

Which, again, Elizabeth is right there. For Edward's human mother whose plea made Edward and Bella meeting possible in the first place, and for Elizabeth Bennet from Pride and Prejudice. It's got a million nicknames that can fit any vibe or aesthetic you want. It makes so much sense. It feels so in character. It matches the other Cullen names, especially Alice, Edward and Isabella (which is essentially the same name as Elizabeth, btw, so 'Elizabeth' could also be honoring Bella, which I think Edward would love!).

'Renesmee' is always going to stick out. She's gotta be going by Ren/Wren or Nessie (tells people it's short for Vanessa) or Carlie or something in public, right?

The Cullens were never very good at blending in as written, but 'old fashioned' grandparent names don't stick out in quite the same way. 'Renesmee' is unique and memorable in a way that's not great for secrecy. I still remember people from my school days who had interesting names.

[iwasbored777]

I know this wasn't necessary for the movie's plot but it should've been in the movie I'm crying 😂

[lunalivvy]

“you saw the way he lit up around her” why is no one talking about that scene it was so cute

[livelaughloveluobinghe]

resentment of chunshan is a grammy contender btw

[armandsfangs]

IWTV Twilight!AU 2nd person POV fic where you transfer to a new high school and move in with your divorced dad in New Orleans. At school, you become friends with Real Rashid who tells you about the weird but hot family that lives at Rue Royale - the kids are all adopted, and also dating each other?? There's the sensitive bookworm Louis Du Lac, the cheerleader captain Lestat de Lioncourt, the chess club champion Claudia Du Lac, and the sewing club leader Madeleine Eparvier.

And there's Armand. He's the theater kid, and the only one that isn't (currently) dating an adopted sibling. You sit next to him in home economics class, and he stares at you, unblinkingly, while putting a rat into a blender. You wonder if you smell bad.

One day, an axe comes flying at you out of nowhere. Armand appears and deflects it with inhumane speed. You ask him how he did that. He tells you to "Rest." You black out. When you wake up in the school nurse's office, she says you lost a lot of blood when you were hit by an axe that left two puncture wounds in your neck. You suspect that all is not as it seems.

You meet Armand again in a forest with an intense blue filter.

"How old are you?" you ask.

"27," he responds.

"How long have you - wait, why are you still in high school?"

He disappears into the trees.

You dream of him prying open your bedroom window with a crowbar, tiptoeing past your bed, and disappearing into your house, only to return with a heavy sack over his shoulder, with which he climbs back out the window and closes it behind him.

The next day, Armand shows up to drive you to school on a motorcycle with slicked back hair and fuckass sunglasses. Your dad is livid. Armand smirks.

He takes you on a fancy dinner date that feels like an interview. He stares at you like he's reading your mind and never touches the food on his plate. Now you know he's a vampire, but it doesn't bother you. In fact, it excites ypu.

A school dance is coming up. You ask Armand. He scrutinizes you like mold in a petri dish. He says yes. Your dad volunteers to chaperone the dance. You argue with him for hours.

The night of the dance is magical. To your surprise, Real Rashid is an amazing dancer as he twirls you around and makes you forget your embarrassment from your dad being a chaperone. It takes you a while to notice that you've forgotten about Armand too. He's not on the dance floor anymore. You worry that you've upset him.

You go into the gardens in search of your spurned date. You feel guilty right up until the moment where you find Armand sequestered in an ivy covered gazebo, his perfect pecs glistening in the pale moonlight —

— as he bounces on your divorced dad's dick and moans, "Daniel!" like his life depends on it.

You scream in outrage.

This is the second time that you, Stacy Molloy, got dumped by someone who fell in love with one of your parents.