#ss bois night

[anemonenosblog]

i am literally. this close. THIS. close. to. fucking. cry. and shout.

my family has a serious obsession w me being gay and keeps forcing me to come out and out the closet. no matter how hard I say no, I REPEATEDLY hear “oh you came out? cant hide now can you?” like no bitch i was basically out years ago at a young age w all those subtle signs of queerness but brushed it off and went w being straight until my queerness became visible to me. i just wasnt so sure and i didnt know this community existed until i was like really old. back then you never knew I was GAY LMFAO.

and they keep saying “you owe me an explanation as to why you’re gay”, “if youre gay why watch kpop boy groups?” (she keeps calling them chinese and i wanna fucking smash a wall omfg), “you owe us a coming out story”, “youre not gay stop lying” etc then I said I don’t owe them shit and they REALLY said “oh but we’re your family? we should know” like.. there’s worser they said but dear god. that house is so lgbtq+ phobic, im suprised. the homophobia, lesbophobia, biphobia, transphobia, etc was REAL and showing in that HOUSE and the whole convo was just utterly disgusting.

i had my own PERSONAL experiences, lemme keep it confidential between me, myself and I.

then she says “oh but do you like 🐱 (down there) or a 🍌 (a guys below)” ? like dont fucking sexualise me??

they kept outing me multiple times,, and keep bringing up that i am a GAY PERSON.

LEAVE ME ALONE?? then my sis had the audacity to say im making up “excuses” like you’re straight? stfu you are not GAY. don’t speak for me. ever heard of unattainable men? oh ofc not cause youre so ignorant lmfao

I hate it here so much...

y’all mfs need to understand, not every person who likes women is a fucking lesbian. People can be bi and have a gf / attraction to girls. and just like how having attraction to men doesn’t mean you’re “being gay” or “straight”. you can be bi, pan, omni, etc even ace and like men. NOT EVERYONE WHO HAS SAME SEX ATTRACTION IS GAY AND/OR LESBIAN. bi, etc people EXIST.

I feel so annoyed and upset, and they SAW my vents in my phone about everything that happened to me. like don’t go through my fucking phone w/o permission??? and then my friend blocked me cause she got jealous AFTER ALL OF THAT.

and this is ALL on christmas. YESTERDAY.

ffs this christmas is fucked up bruh.

I’m never coming out.

and then the way I said people can change lgbtq labels of their sexuality, nothing bad and then my family goes “but you aren’t cake? how the fuck can you change labels lmfao stop lying”

Well done, thanks for forcing a fucking person to come out and out me numerous times.

the only way I’ll come out in when I leave this fucking dungeon. now I can’t even like women anymore now cause i feel so disgusting....

i really need help to feel comfortable in being queer. im really going through a hard time and I need some support please.

[ugh-yoongi]

a word from our sponsors | knj

you’ve co-hosted a podcast with namjoon for three years; have known him even longer. the two of you have always been the picture of platonic, but that hasn’t stopped the internet from doing what the internet does. the shipping? a little weird at first, but you can understand it: two attractive twenty-somethings always in close proximity to one another, obvious (platonic!) chemistry—people have created ships for less. the fanfiction, though? also pretty funny… until you can’t stop thinking about it. 🎙️

pairing: namjoon x f. reader genre: podcast, friends to lovers au; crack, smut, fluff rating: explicit. minors do not interact. warnings: parasocial relationships galore, a m*n with a p*dcast, author abuses italics, swearing, alcohol, reader uses a pseudonym/nickname (piper) because writing the meta fanfiction scene would've been too weird without one and i refuse to use y/n, dialogue-heavy but it is a fic about a podcast, everyone is down horrendous, mentions of social media & fake r*ddit posts, ex-boyfriend yoongi but in a good, healthy way. let me know if i missed anything but mostly this is just two goofballs not realizing they're in love with one another. smut warnings: kissing, oral sex (f. receiving), fingering, unprotected vaginal sex (fiction), protected vaginal sex (nonfiction), a lil squirting, mild degradation, mentions of a p*ss kink but there is no actual pee i promise (...lest?), i didn't intend to write size kink but it's namjoon so it just showed up anyway, slight dom!joon, everyone orgasms. wordcount: 17.5k credits: this was entirely inspired by that one episode of the basement yard where frankie reads the smut fic of him and joe, so credits to both that author and that podcast. spotify, for their podcast name generator. astro-seek for helping me drag namjoon astrologically. an extra special, gigantic thanks to @effortandmore for writing the meta fanfic (3k of it, no less!) and not batting an eye when i said it could have pee in it as a joke. this is as much yours as it is mine. finally, @hot-soop and @the-boy-meets-evil for reading this over for me and telling me i'm funny. author's note: happy birthday, indigo! here i am to validate every fear you've ever had that the people you write porn about may one day read it. live and on air. :)

You’ve co-hosted a podcast with Namjoon for three years.

You can learn a lot about a guy in that amount of time.

None of it is especially salacious. You know all about his family and his dog and the brand of recycled paper towels he insists on buying in bulk. You know what he’d written his grad school thesis on and what he’d looked like in the thick of it, when he was staving off his fifth mental break of the week. You know how fidgety he gets when it’s closing in on Friday night and he’s got a date—how much he stresses over which restaurant to pick, which cologne, which expensive cashmere sweater to wear.

You also know what the internet thinks about him. Intimately.

Kim Namjoon, according to the internet, is peak husband material. He has cheeks ripe for pinching and thighs small countries would go to war to defend. He has a lap that doubles as a seat and dimples people want to get baptized in. He has Instagram selfies with hundreds of thousands of likes and comment sections full of intelligible keysmashes, especially the ones he posts from the gym.

Kim Namjoon, according to the internet, is a man written by a woman.

Looking at him now, you aren’t sure that’s true, you think people just need to raise their standards. Namjoon is just… Namjoon. He’s intelligent and kind and up to date on modern feminist theory, is all. And, sure, maybe in the current political landscape that puts him far above the rest of men, but the way the internet has latched onto him is a little concerning.

“There’s another post about whether or not we’re dating,” you say, pushing your glasses up the bridge of your nose.

sooo let’s be real here, we ALL think they’re dating, right?? Posted by u/pod-shipper 2 hours ago

Just like he always does, Namjoon huffs out a soft laugh, makes his way around to your side of the table. Puts his large hands on your shoulders as he leans in close to read from your screen, snorting every time he reads a sentence he finds particularly amusing. Whichever cologne he’d chosen this morning is, admittedly, very nice.

It’s sooo obvious, especially in the episodes they film and post on YouTube. The way they look at each other?? I don’t even look at my HUSBAND like that! (+1264) ↳ omg ur sooooo right! i could MAYBE buy that they aren’t full on dating, but they’ve def at least slept together. Namjoon is so 🔥🔥🔥 (+791) ↳ um how can namjoon be dating her when he’s already married to me 😌💅 (+3) ↳ For the millionth time, can we not speculate on their personal lives? This is weird and reinforces really harmful ideas that men and women can’t just be friends. (-51)

“How come they never talk about how hot you are?”

You can tell by the look on Namjoon’s face that he hadn’t meant to say that—or, if he did, he didn’t mean to say it like that, with an entire pout, eyebrows raised nearly to his hairline. “Cursed to be ugly and dumb,” you joke to ease the sudden tension, reading the comment that simply says you’d have to be the dumbest person alive to not sleep with Namjoon.

He scrunches his nose at that. Returns to his side of the table. “Yeah, I don’t think so, lots of people haven’t slept with me.” Starts to unpack all the gear from his bag before he says, “Hey, all that stuff—does it bother you?”

“What do you mean?” you answer, the corner of a protein bar stuck in your mouth. Namjoon always insists on recording at the most inconvenient times.

“People thinking we’re together,” he clarifies.

You shrug. “I dunno. Not really. Comes with the territory, I think, not to mention how much you love to overshare—”

“Hello?”

“I’m just saying,” you retort, hands raised in self-defense. “There really was no need for you to mention you blew your grad school stipend on a porn scam.” Namjoon looks affronted, like he can’t believe you’d stoop so low as to bring that up. “Or that you lost your virginity at fifteen.”

“We have a relationship podcast,” he states simply. “That’s kind of what we do, right? Talk about relationships? And the spectrum of human sexuality is part of that.”

You slump back in your chair as you quirk an eyebrow. “No one said it wasn’t, I just said you overshare. Which you do.”

“And that’s why there’s a dozen Reddit posts a week discussing whether or not we’re dating? Because I overshare?”

“Yeah, exactly. That’s the kind of behavior that leads to parasocial relationships. People latch onto that shit. Makes them think they’re your friend.” He glares. “Don’t give me that look, you know I’m right. It’s bad enough you’ve word-vomited all this highly personal information about yourself, but to not even do it under a pseudonym? It’s like you’re begging for trouble.”

Another comment he doesn’t even realize he’s making: “I don’t beg. For anything.”

To this day, you’re not sure why Namjoon asked you to co-host a podcast with him.

His reasoning had been simple: “You’re my best friend and we don’t agree on anything.” Hard to argue with that. Namjoon has seemingly endless patience, even in the face of things he shouldn’t entertain, and you… do not, to put it simply.

You’re not a cold person. Your fuse isn’t short. You’re just a little jaded, is all. Have far less propensity for bullshit than Namjoon does, so the two of you play well off each other. You end a sentence with a well-punctuated full stop and Namjoon’s right behind you to sigh and say maybe you shouldn’t be so hasty, not everything in the world can be so black or white.

Except some things are. Somewhere along the way, the podcast—which Namjoon had affectionately named Place Him Gently in the Garbage, even though some people should be shoved in there with force—had picked up a following. A big one. And now, every week, you’re inundated with emails ranging in severity. Sometimes people just want to vent after their tenth bad date in a row or share funny stories, and Namjoon lets you take the lead on those, but sometimes it’s a little more serious. That’s where Namjoon shines, all that endless patience, and people love him for it.

“What’s on the agenda today?” he asks, accepting a thick stack of papers from Jungkook.

Ah, Jungkook.

You aren’t sure what he actually does. Some kind of social media manager, which is obvious from the wildly out-of-context clips he posts of you to TikTok, and it’s his responsibility to go through the thousands of emails you get from listeners, but aside from that all you’ve got are your suspicions that he just sticks around to swindle Namjoon out of more and more money.

“I’m in a silly goofy mood,” comes Jungkook’s reply, and you let out a witch cackle as Namjoon winces. Nothing good ever comes of Jungkook being in a silly goofy mood, and that’s quite alright by you.

Fifteen minutes later finds you with a camera in your face that you greet with an unamused, flat stare. Jungkook is used to it by now. Just films for a few seconds before turning his attention to an unaware Namjoon. Head down, pen and highlighter going a mile a minute as he pores over the stack of papers with all the doggedness and eagle-eyed stare of a literature professor.

That’s the thing about Namjoon—he takes this really seriously. So do you, but not in the ways Namjoon does. He’s all skill and determination and you’re color commentary. It works. It clearly works, so you aren’t too bent out of shape about it, but sometimes you worry. Namjoon takes this really seriously and sometimes you worry that he takes it too seriously, that he carries the burdens and worries of all these strangers, that he’s trying to solve and fix things that aren’t his responsibility to solve and fix.

So he takes it really seriously and you don’t take it as seriously as you maybe should, and everything is by design. Balanced.

Twenty minutes later finds you staring across the table at Namjoon, who asks, “Are you ready?” and does one last equipment check before he launches into, “Welcome back to another episode of Place Him Gently in the Garbage with Namjoon and Piper. What’s new with you, Pipe? Any fun news?”

Pipe. It drives you nuts. Feels like nails on a chalkboard. “I see you almost every single day,” you respond dryly. “But for the sake of entertainment, I’m thinking about getting a cat.”

“A cat?” Namjoon parrots, and his eyebrows disappear beneath his fringe because he knows what that means.

You’ve co-hosted a podcast with Namjoon for three years, but you’ve known him even longer.

Since your first year of college, which is also when you met Yoongi. Yoongi, your ex. Yoongi, the person you’d been with for six years and had planned a life around. Yoongi, now one of your closest friends, because the two of you still love one another but no longer in that way, which is fine. But also—Yoongi, allergic to cats.

So, yeah. Namjoon knows what that means, and he has the good sense not to mention it. Unlike him, you’re intensely private and keep your cards close to your chest. Your listeners don’t even know your real name, let alone that you’d gone through a breakup a year ago.

“What kind of cat?” he continues, like his entire world hasn’t just been turned upside-down.

You shrug. “Eh, I don’t know. Probably one that’s been in the shelter a long time, I guess. I’m not too fussy, you know?”

“Right, a cat is a cat,” Namjoon says, thinking he’s done something. You and Jungkook gasp at the same time. “What? Why are you giving me that look?”

“Because that’s a fucked up thing to say! A cat is not just a cat. They have little personalities, just like people. You’ve got—”

“But you just said you’re not fussy,” he interjects. “And I know they have personalities and that you have to find one that suits your lifestyle! Like, you can’t have one of those really cool cats that likes to go kayaking and shit, it’d never work—”

“What does that mean? Why couldn’t I have a cool cat?”

“Hey, all you cool cats and kittens,” Namjoon mocks, and you can tell he thinks he’s done something again, but his impression falls flatter than flat. An awkward silence fills the studio. He coughs. “Anyway. Do you have pictures?”

“Yeah. I also have a list of candidates ranked by how cool their names are. Number five, Casserole.”

“That’s cute.”

“Mhm,” you agree, “but Casserole is a kitten, and I’m not sure I’m ready for that kind of responsibility.”

“They do say you should adopt kittens in pairs.”

“And that’s how they get you. You want one kitten and they talk you into two, and before you know it you’ve got, like, twelve cats. Number four, Party Girl.”

“Sick name.”

“Number three, Toddler.”

“Toddler?”

“Number two, Flat.”

“Just Flat? Understandable.”

“And, finally, number one: Human Torch.”

“Yoooo.” Namjoon laughs. “You have to adopt Human Torch. Let me see.” You pull up a picture on your phone and hand it over. “Okay, for our listeners—Human Torch is a young, male Domestic Short Hair. He has stripes. I don’t know what that’s called.”

“Tabby,” Jungkook chimes in.

“Jungkook says he’s a tabby. He’s cute. Adopt him.”

You return your phone to your pocket. “Maybe. I still think I want an older cat, but I’ll consider it. What about you, though? Any new dating horror stories to share?”

Ah, the dating horror stories. Your most dedicated shippers are convinced they’re fake, that Namjoon just makes them up on the spot to keep them off your trail. If only. Not in the if only they were fake and Namjoon and I were actually dating kind of way, but the holy shit one of my closest friends is a fucking disaster and it’s a little embarrassing kind of way.

“Not really,” he answers. “I’ve got a date this Friday, though. Trying to decide if dinner and a movie is too boring.”

“It’s a classic for a reason. What are you gonna see, My Big Fat Greek Wedding 3?”

“Three?” Namjoon emphasizes, truly sounding scandalized. “Since when are there three? I haven’t even seen one or two.”

“Okay, first of all, the original is a classic and it’s a crime you haven’t seen it.”

“And second of all?”

“There is no second of all. Repeat point one.”

He snorts. “I’m not gonna see that, anyway. Maybe the re-release of Howl’s Moving Castle.”

“Subbed or dubbed, though?”

“Are you trying to get me canceled?”

“Absolutely.”

“I like both,” he chickens out. “Now, let’s stop wasting time and get to the point of the show.”

“Talking about cats is a waste of time?”

“I—no, we’ve just got a lot on the agenda today.”

“Like what?”

“Well, there’s lots to talk about on the celebrity front—”

Namjoon loves this part. As esteemed and educated as he is, not even he is immune to good old celebrity gossip. (Inside him there are two wolves.) Lives for it. Texts you about it at all hours of the night. Sends you links to Reddit threads with hundreds of comments. Has more opinions on Celebrity Big Brother than he does on Ludwig Wittgenstein, sometimes, and when that’s the case you know you’re in for a long evening. You’ve never even seen an episode of Celebrity Big Brother.

But Namjoon loves it, so you’ve become fond of it by association. Reminds you a bit of Yoongi and his love for sports and sports anime.

“—one should we start with?”

“Whatever you want,” you answer, because you haven’t been paying a lick of attention and you aren’t sure it matters anyway. Namjoon can talk to a wall on a good day, but he’s an entirely different beast once mundane, innocuous celeb gossip gets involved.

And even though you hadn’t been paying attention, it seems like this was the right thing to say, because Namjoon smiles so wide his dimples crater his face. “Cool. Let’s start with Taryn Manning. Did you see that bizarre—”

“Who?”

“What?”

“Who is Taryn Manning?”

Namjoon looks a little dumbstruck. Even Jungkook’s arching an eyebrow at you. “Are you serious? She was in Orange is the New Black and Crossroads.”

“The Britney Spears movie?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh. Weird, okay. Continue.”

Your co-host shoots you a very pointed look. “I will, thanks. Anyway, she posted a video on social media talking about this affair she had with a married man. Like, she pulled over on the side of the road to record this. Said she can’t stand the man’s wife because she called her a quote-unquote lunatic.”

“I—huh, thought we weren’t supposed to say that anymore. Alright.”

“But wait, it gets even more bizarre. Listen to this quote—and this is direct. This is a direct quote from the video, I can’t stop thinking about it: ‘Don’t you ever threaten me when your husband came to me to get his butthole licked.’ Can you—”

“What? Namjoon, what in the fuck—”

“It’s crazy, right? She was gonna buy this guy a boat.”

“Namjoon, this is a family show, you can’t just talk about ass-eating unprompted.”

“No it’s not.”

“Well, you still shouldn’t talk about ass-eating unprompted. It’s unbecoming.”

“You’re unbecoming,” Namjoon fires back, because he can’t help it. The words are out of his mouth before he can think. “Sorry, that was out of line.”

You sigh. Know whatever look Jungkook is catching on his camera right now is exasperated and pointed, the corners of your mouth probably tugged up just a hint. “Unbecoming, like I said.” Namjoon scoffs. “Anyway, so this actress was gonna buy this married guy a boat and was eating his ass?”

“Yeah. Apparently it was her friend’s husband? They all went to a Taylor Swift concert together.”

“Jesus, this keeps getting worse. Big year for Hollywood cheaters.”

“It is, right? Cheaters and divorces. Something in the water, I guess.”

“I saw the astrology girlies saying a bunch of planets are in retrograde, so—”

“Can you explain that to me? Like, what does it mean for a planet to be in retrograde? Why is it causing divorces?”

“I don’t know, I’m not an astrology girlie. That’s why I said the astrology girlies. What are your big three, though?”

“What’s that?”

“Your sun, moon, and rising signs.”

“How do I find that out?”

“Ugh,” you intone, “don’t worry about it, I’ll do it myself. What time were you born?”

Namjoon rattles off a time.

You grab your laptop. Pull up the page, type in Namjoon’s date of birth and birthplace, and wait. Then you’re staring at a circle with a bunch of lines in it that also don’t make a lick of sense to you. You roll your lips to keep from laughing and school your voice into something deadly serious. “Bad news: it says you’re a virgin.”

“Virgo,” Namjoon corrects, not taking the bait. “I already knew that.”

You scroll a little further down the page. “Your moon is in Sagittarius. Oh god, listen to this, they’ve got you pegged: ‘The greatest need is to always search for something. In order to feel safe you need a philosophy or belief’—”

“Haaa, that’s not—”

“—’You need to have a goal or mission that gives your life meaning. Your faith must be voluntary and it is a paradox that fighting against dogmas may lead you to other dogmas.’ Yeah, that’s you.”

“That could apply to anyone,” he argues. “There are seven-billion people on this planet; I’d imagine a sizable amount of them would say that also describes them.”

“Hm, sounds like your faith in astrology is not yet voluntary. Did you know you’re a Scorpio rising?”

“No. I’m sure you’re gonna tell me all about it, though.”

You smile. “Correct. ‘People with Scorpio on the Ascendant need to fight against dark and destructive power in their life.’ Is that true?”

“Yeah, you’re the dark and destructive power. You keep sidetracking me and we need to get to the point of the podcast.” He grabs the stack of papers Jungkook had given him. Looks more highlighter than paper, if you’re being honest. “I guess Jungkook thought we needed a lighthearted kind of day.”

“That was nice of him, considering what he gave us last week. I guess we’re allowed to have faith in humanity today.”

To your left, Jungkook scoffs.

“Alright,” Namjoon starts, putting on his Very Serious Podcast Guy voice, “first up we’ve got a question from one of our listeners in Canada. It says, ‘Hi, Piper and Namjoon. I recently agreed to go on a blind date with a friend of a friend. She said he was a bit old-fashioned but really talked him up so I thought I was in good hands—and then he showed up to get me in a ‘67 GTO and exclusively referred to me as doll. He didn’t use my name once. I’m torn, because he was really nice and I had a good time otherwise, but this is weird, right? Should I see him agai—’”

“No,” you interject.

“Can I finish?”

“You don’t have to. This guy sounds greasy.”

Namjoon pinches the bridge of his nose. “And why is that?”

“Ignoring the fact that this guy has arguably one of the lamest classic cars around, he didn’t use their name once? Not once, in all the time they spent together? That’s really disrespectful.”

“Some people are just pet name people,” Namjoon argues.

“With absolute strangers, though? It’s really giving the impression that he didn’t even know it, not to mention some people are uncomfortable with pet names. The whole shtick is super lame.”

“I agree it sounds a bit misguided, but—”

Ignoring Namjoon, you say, “Sorry you had to go on a date with the ghost of less-cool James Dean. Into the garbage he goes.”

And, just like he’s done a million times before, Namjoon rolls his eyes and says, “If you really like this guy and want to see him again, a bit of communication will go a long way. Tell him the pet name made you uncomfortable—if it did—and offer to pick him up for the next date. I don’t think he’s completely destined for the garbage, yet.”

“You’re just saying that because you don’t have a license. You probably think a 1967 Pontiac GTO is the pinnacle of romance. That’s probably like picking someone up on a Specialized Aethos to you, eh?”

“That’s a fifteen-thousand dollar bike, I’ll have you know.”

You groan. “Oh my god.”

Ep: #183 - Namjoon is a Virgin

I think Namjoon had the right idea on this one. Sure, the car can be considered lame, but I think a lot of men are deeply insecure and therefore overcompensate when it comes to dating. Women are hard to impress when they have unlimited options. You have to stand out, so I’m glad he advocated for him. Piper can come off like such a misandrist sometimes. (-649) ↳ just shut up bro namjoon would fuckin hate u (+204) ↳ Imagine caring about something like this when they’re getting a cat together 🙄 (+19)

You think about the cat thing for nearly a week.

Adopting a cat is certainly not the worst idea you’ve ever had, and truth be told it’s been a little lonely, living by yourself. No more Yoongi in your space; no more Holly. So, having a new little friend around might do you some good.

It’s just—

It’s a big commitment, and there’s also the dog sitting-shaped elephant in the room. Ending things on good terms means you’re still Yoongi’s second-choice sitter whenever he has to go out of town, and while you love Holly dearly (the two of you had adopted him together, after all), he’s a lot like his father in a lot of ways.

Should I get a cat, you type out, and it’s only been in Yoongi’s inbox a few seconds before the most unflattering picture you’ve ever taken of him is flashing across your screen.

“Are you dying?” you ask, because Yoongi doesn’t call you for much else.

And you already know what his response is going to be. “We’re all dying.”

“Lighten up, Yoongi. One might say being so existentially nihilistic before noon causes wrinkles.”

There’s a split-second pause. “It’s nine p.m.”

“Sure, but it’s before tomorrow’s noon, so it still counts.”

“Whatever. Listen, before you adopt that cat, I need a favor.”

“You going out of town again?”

“Yeah. Shouldn’t be long, though. A week at the most, five days if I’m lucky.”

“That’s fine, bring him over whenever. Yijeong’s busy?”

This pause is far, far longer. “No,” comes Yoongi’s eventual response, but it’s slow. Unsure. A two-letter word has never taken so long to say in the history of ever. “He’s, uh. Coming with me?”

Oh, you think. This is where your ex awkwardly and hesitantly breaks the news of his new relationship. You’ve known this day was coming, and this is what you get for staying friends with him. “This is a fanfiction plot,” you accuse. “Hot, mysterious man moves into a gaudy apartment complex after ending a long-term relationship and meets his equally-hot and mysterious neighbor and they fall in love.”

“I—that’s not—my apartment is not gaudy.”

“Yes it is. There’s a giant gold bust of a weird bird in the lobby.”

“Weird bird?” he parrots. “It’s a swan.”

“I see you’re not denying the in-love-with-your-neighbor accusations.”

“Am I on trial?” Yoongi retorts, and it’s such a Yoongi thing to say when what he means is, is this okay? He means, are we able to talk about this without it being weird? He means, I won’t ever say as much out loud, but your acceptance means a lot to me, and I’d like for you to give me this.

So you lower your voice and soften the edges because it’s not really something to joke about, and you say, “No, of course you’re not on trial,” and Yoongi knows what you mean. “And if you were, you'd get locked up for fifty years. You can’t lie for shit.”

There’s a beat of silence before he clears his throat, mutters a thanks that is so quiet you almost don’t catch it. “Send me pictures of the cats.”

Later on, once you’re freshly-showered and tucked into bed with a candle and a book (Eloge de l’amour by Alain Badiou at Namjoon’s insistence and request), your phone buzzes with a text from Yoongi—

Yoongi: toddler is a fucking hilarious name for a cat but so is flat Yoongi: it’s a tie for me You: Okay well pick one 🙄 Yoongi: yijeong says get both You: Both???? Is he paying my vet bills? Yoongi: kinda out of line to proposition him for money. flat is also good with dogs, js You: If he’s now being raised by you two, my perfect, well-behaved son is probably long gone. Does he even count as a dog anymore? Yoongi: me and yijeong both say fuck off Yoongi: holly too. he says he doesn’t miss you anymore and he’s not coming over now Yoongi has added Yijeong to the group Yoongi has changed the group name to #ThirdWheelChat Yijeong: Please don’t drag me into this. Also I did not say “fuck off” You have changed the group name to People Who Have Seen Yoongi Naked Yoongi: fuck you

You should’ve known something was going on with Jungkook, because it’d started like this:

(When you and Namjoon started the podcast three years ago, it was in the living room of his apartment.

Surrounded by books and plants. He loved to record in the afternoons back then—Namjoon loved to say it was because of his grad school schedule, but you’ve always suspected he just wanted to preen in the golden hour light, much like he’s doing now.

“Is this really necessary?” Jungkook whines from his spot on the couch. He’s already swindled Namjoon out of two bags of microwavable popcorn and three cans of sparkling water. “It’s a Saturday afternoon; I could be doing something so much more fun than this.”

Namjoon scoffs. “Are you saying this isn’t fun?”

“Yeah. It sucks, actually. This could’ve been an email.”

And because Namjoon is accomplished, mature, and absolutely incapable of not taking Jungkook’s bait, the space between his brows creases as he sends a murderous glare Jungkook’s way. “Stop eating my food, then. And drinking my drinks. And lounging on my couch like that—”

“I’m not lounging,” Jungkook argues.

“You’re manspreading all over the leather!”

“This is how I sit!”

“Well, knock it off! My couch is only for fun and people who think I’m fun!”

Jungkook rolls his eyes. “So you fuck on it?”

“What?”

“What other fun things could you possibly do on a couch?”

Namjoon blinks. “Watch… watch a movie?”

Jungkook groans, throws himself backwards against the pillows as if he’s suffering a Victorian ailment. “Jesus. No wonder you can’t score a second date.”

“Okay, that was a little uncalled for. There are a ton of reasons a person might not want a second date, and no one is obligated to go out with me—”

“Uh-huh. Anyway—”

You clear your throat. Try to hide your own can of seltzer you’d taken from Namjoon’s fridge in the midst of his and Jungkook’s bickering. “Not trying to be rude, but I have an appointment at the shelter at three. If, y’know. You wouldn’t mind speeding this up a little.”

“Oh! Yeah, of course—”

“Oh, so you’ll speed this up for her but not—”

Namjoon pinches the bridge of his nose. “She,” he begins, jerking his thumb in your direction, “isn’t needlessly complaining and actually has someplace to be.”)

It was just a quick little rendezvous in Namjoon’s living room to come up with a rough draft for the following month’s episodes. He couldn’t do it over text because he’d fallen down the steps at his office and landed on his ass on the corner of a step and his phone had been in his back pocket. Cracked clean in half. And he couldn’t do it over email because he—rightfully—knew Jungkook would ignore them because he has his inbox set up to send all of Namjoon’s personal emails to the trash.

But Jungkook holds onto things like that. Grudges. Loves to let Namjoon think bygones are bygones and pop up a few days later with some evil scheme. Hence:

“What is this?”

Jungkook smirks. Rocks back on his heels. “It’s fanfiction.”

“I can see that, but… why?”

This is where Jungkook shines: the ominous, cheshire cat grin; the aw, shucks demeanor that gaslights Namjoon into thinking Jungkook couldn’t possibly be fucking with him. “Well, you were having trouble coming up with ideas for episodes, and there’s an email in there from someone whose partner reads really expli—”

“Jungkook, this is fanfiction about me.”

You can’t help the laugh that escapes you. Of all the weird shit you’ve seen on the internet (and there’s been a lot), fanfiction of people you know—your friends—was something you’d managed to escape. Probably by virtue of not knowing anyone famous enough to warrant fanfiction being written about them.

But you should’ve known. You really, really should’ve known.

“Oh my god?”

You’re not sure who says it. Could be you or Namjoon, but the sentiment is the same. He mouths a what the fuck at you that’s met with a shrug. You’re in uncharted territory now, too. “Where did you even find this?” you ask, taking the stack of papers from Namjoon. “And why did you print it out?”

“Because I’m going to track down whoever wrote it and get them to autograph it. Then I’m going to buy a nice frame and hang it on the wall behind him, so we never forget this historical moment in Place Him Gently in the Garbage lore.”

“It’s a podcast,” Namjoon deadpans, “how can it have lore? And how much lore can there possibly be?”

“It’s the internet,” you concede. “The lore possibilities are endless. Don’t tempt them.”

Jungkook nods sagely, well-versed in the degeneracy of the internet. “Yeah, that’s how you end up with shit like 4chan.”

“4chan? There’s Space Jam porn on there.”

As the youngest, all Jungkook can do is roll his eyes. “Sometimes explaining this shit to you feels like trying to teach old people how to rotate PDFs—”

Namjoon scoffs. “I’m not that bad. I know how to rotate a PDF.”

Wow, Jungkook mouths. “Anyway, back to the fanfiction—”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Namjoon interjects. He looks at you. “It’s weird, right? Like, it’s weird that people have written this about us?”

About us.

Your scope of the world narrows to the size of a pinhead. It’d just been about Namjoon before. This is fanfiction about me, he’d said, and you hadn’t been included in that. Now it’s written about us and you’re included.

“I—what?”

“It’s about us,” Namjoon repeats.

Jungkook rolls his lips. “It’s about the two of you fucking, to be specific.”

“Can you not—”

“Fucking a lot,” Jungkook continues. “So much fucking.”

Namjoon looks at you, and it’s all you can do to keep from laughing. The look on his face is pure bewilderment, both that Jungkook has cooked up this idea and is hell-bent on executing it and that he remains employed. And maybe it’s a little bit of nerves, too, because neither of you are ignorant of the risks. Reading fanfiction about yourselves—about the two of you as a couple, specifically, or at least two people who have sex—is weird. Not something you can unread.

And maybe it’s because you’re so determined to not make it weird that you send Namjoon a cheeky, exaggerated wink, shrug your shoulders, and say, “I’ll need a couple drinks, but I’m down.”

Jungkook throws his head back and cackles wildly, and that look of bewilderment on Namjoon’s face morphs into something else. Trepidation, maybe; definitely disbelief, because sometimes he lets himself get swept away in Jungkook’s schemes, but it’s rare that you follow suit.

As Jungkook continues to laugh, you wonder if you should’ve said no.

Namjoon has two stipulations: the two of you have to film the episode completely alone, and he, too, needs to be a little drunk.

The latter? Piece of cake, considering Namjoon has become some sort of whiskey aficionado in recent years. His drinking is streamlined and to the point—he knows exactly how much and what to drink to get him where he wants to be. You can’t say he isn’t efficient.

The former, though? Borderline impossible. From the second Namjoon states his terms, Jungkook is having none of it. Argues that he’s the one who found the story and the one who cleared it with the author, so he deserves to witness the fruits of his labor.

“No,” Namjoon repeats for the nth time, “no way. I’ll barely be able to do this with just her, let alone both of you.”

And that—that doesn’t bother you, right? You force a laugh, because why would it bother you?

There are few secrets between you and Namjoon, except your respective sex lives have been staunchly off-limits. Namjoon could be a virgin for all you know, and as you study him—the way he keeps bobbing his leg, the slight shake in his hands—you wonder if that’s the reason he’s being so weird about this.

It’s just a story.

Fiction.

Most people don’t have to worry about someone writing stories about them fucking their friends. If they do, you reckon even less actually read them. So, sure, it’s a little strange, but people from all over the world send in stranger stuff all the time, don’t they? It’s literally the reason you’re in this predicament.

Eventually Jungkook agrees. His whining has gotten him nowhere, so he just throws up his hands. Posts a cryptic little “u guys won’t believe what the next patreon ep is lmao” that sends the internet into a frenzy. Doubles your Patreon numbers almost immediately, and both you and Namjoon do a good job of pretending the pressure isn’t overwhelming.

Jesus. You have to read explicit fanfiction about yourselves. On camera.

Namjoon gets caught up with work and isn’t available until the weekend, so you’re forced to sit with the nerves for a few days. Not too bad at first, but you’re nearly coming out of your skin by Thursday with the need to know. You’re well-versed in the world of fanfiction, but this is fanfiction about you: your name, your likeness, maybe even your personality.

What will they know of Namjoon, though?

Will they get it right, the way he looks with his jaw clenched? How impossibly deep his voice can go, both when it’s raspy with sleep and when he’s fully at ease? Will the Namjoon in the story be closer to the Namjoon you know, or the version of himself he presents to the public?

And you’ve known him a long time—long enough that there are few secrets between you, but you don’t know the most intimate parts. All the parts the internet loves to speculate on. All the little gaps that, apparently, need to be filled in by fanfiction.

Will they know what Namjoon looks like when he gets off?

No, you scold yourself, jerking awkwardly like you’ve been burned, and neither will you.

Because you are not going to think about this. Your thoughts are not going to go there. Namjoon is your friend, and you’ve listened to him scold an endless amount of men on the podcast for exactly this behavior. Sexualizing their friends. You’re not going to do it, too.

Maybe that’s why you’re kind of seeing double when it comes time to record. Namjoon needed an extra shot and offered you one as well. You’d necked it without a second thought and now you’re here, trying to ignore the slight tilt of the room as Namjoon adjusts the camera.

“How’s the shot look?” he asks, gesturing vaguely behind him at his laptop screen because Jungkook had refused to lend you his fancy cameras if he wasn’t allowed to be involved.

It’s a completely normal question.

It’s a question you’ve asked and answered a million times.

Except—there’s something horribly distracting about Namjoon in this moment. The outline of his back muscles through the thin fabric of his t-shirt. The way the sleeves are tight around his biceps. He’s always been a gym rat, always carries around a protein shake that smells and looks completely foul, but you can’t remember it ever being this obvious.

And you take too long to answer, because Namjoon straightens up just enough to send you a concerned look. Which does not help. You are not imagining what else might cause his brows to pinch like that, what might have his lips parting, have sweat dotting his hairline.

You swallow. Hard.

“Looks fine,” you manage to say. He’s still staring. Are you on fire? You feel like you’re on fire, which would make sense. Would explain Namjoon’s sweating and concerned stare and the fact that he cannot stop staring at you. “Maybe a tiny bit to the right if we’re being picky,” you tack on, hoping it’ll break whatever spell the two of you are ensnared in.

It works. “To the—the right, yeah, makes sense,” he rambles.

He moves it an inch to the left.

—

Things are tense, to say the least.

Recording hasn’t been this awkward since your first episode, or maybe ever. You’re sat across from one another like you always are, and usually Namjoon would be making quip after quip by now, talking endlessly until Jungkook shushed him long enough to get the intro filmed. Now, there’s just silence.

“Should we…?” Namjoon startles. Bangs his knee on the underside of the table and drops a string of curses. “Sorry, are you—”

“I’m fine,” he says, cutting you off. He gestures vaguely toward the camera. “I’ll just… yeah.”

Showtime.

You wipe your hands on your jeans, unsure of when they got so damp. Unsure of when you’d grown so nervous, too, because you’d been fine an hour ago. Had strolled in with two cups of tea and a little too much confidence, giddy at what you were about to do.

Maybe the nerves had shown up alongside the alcohol. This sounds reasonable, and you do not, under any circumstance or for any reason, think about Namjoon’s back. Or his biceps.

Namjoon makes it through the intro, dimples deep and wide as he smiles, and you also don’t think about the way his voice cracks and gets a little breathy when he introduces you. It’s only because he’d been drinking, and the flush on his cheeks attests to that. The same flush that creeps down his neck, still a little sweaty; disappears beneath the hemline of his shirt.

“—Jungkook had. Right, Piper?”

Now it’s your turn to startle, and there’s not much you can do to hide the obvious except ask Namjoon to redo the shot. Because it’s bad enough the internet already overanalyzes every move you make, every word choice, every instance you’ve stared at Namjoon a second longer than they thought you would—this is a blatant display of… affectedness.

“Sorry,” you say, “I wasn't paying attention. Can we redo it?”

You’re expecting a playful scolding. A ha ha, get it together, because that’s what you usually get. But there’s nothing aside from Namjoon studying you and nodding. Asking if you’re okay. Saying, “Is this—this is weird, right? Is it too weird? Maybe we shouldn’t—”

An out. Namjoon is giving you an out, and you should take it, you know you should take it, so there’s absolutely no reason at all you shake your head and say, “No, no, it’s fine! I think I’m just a little, uh. Drunk?”

“Are you sure? We can—”

“It’s fine, Joon,” you insist. “Besides, it’ll be good content, right?”

“Good content,” he parrots. “Yeah, for sure.” He fidgets in his seat, runs his hands down the span of his thighs. Very, very thick thighs. “I’ll grab us some water.”

You faceplant onto the table as soon as he’s out of the room. When did his thighs get so thick?

But the water helps. Cures whatever strange, insatiable thirst has come over you, because you feel much more human after a few glasses. Less drunk, too, which makes sense. Yoongi could barely escape your drunken, horny wrath when the two of you were together, so you chalk it up to a Pavlovian response.

Namjoon does the intro again. Introduces you strong and steady, not a hint of nerves, and explains, with a fresh blush taking over his upper body, what the episode’s going to be about. “Someone wrote fanfiction about us,” he says, scratching at the back of his neck. “It’s, uh, pretty explicit. Jungkook thought it’d be funny if we read it.”

You snort. “He might get fired, depending on how this goes.”

“He should get fired regardless,” Namjoon deadpans. “Anyway, we have permission from the author to read this so don’t come after us, and, as always, we’ll put all the credits in the video description.”

“Special shoutout to Jungkook, though, who was not allowed to be here with us for this momentous occasion.”

Namjoon laughs. “I’m sure he’s having plenty of fun at home.” You both pause. “That’s not—I’m not implying anything with that! I just meant—you know, like. He’s hanging out and enjoying his day off.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Moving on. I have two copies of this. Do you want your own?”

You grin, wicked and wide. “Nah, just read it to me.”

“Making me do all the work,” he huffs. “Typical.”

“There’s a stack of papers in front of you that might say otherwise.”

It’s clear you catch him off-guard. He cocks an eyebrow, opens and shuts his mouth a few times like a goldfish. An obvious question sits on the tip of his tongue: You think you’d be in charge? Instead he coughs, jerks his head to the side, and says, “I guess we’ll see.”

It sounds like a challenge.

Thirty seconds is all you get before Namjoon’s shuffling his stack of papers and clearing his throat. Asking if you’re ready and jumping right into it once you say you are. Reads the first few lines like they’re some old lecture notes, and they’re conservative and safe-for-work enough that you start to relax.

And then Namjoon reads, “A louder one wonders if Namjoon is a pet name person—if he’d call her ‘honey,’ or ‘gummy bear,’ ‘babe,’ or ‘baby,’” and you choke.

“Gummy bear?”

Namjoon laughs along with you—the weird one that almost sounds like a dog panting. “You want me to call you gummy bear?”

“I want you to call me a Lyft,” you snark. “I’m leaving.”

He continues:

And that’s how it starts, wandering thoughts, wandering fingers—the first time Piper comes to the thought of Namjoon calling her baby, pushing inside her, showing her that he definitely doesn’t beg, but she does… Well, she’s a little ashamed. She’s apparently got a reputation to maintain, anyway, not to mention a friendship.

His eyes leave the paper and lock onto you. “Or maybe you’d prefer baby?”

“Fuck off.”

Weeks after that first time, it’s become a habit, thinking about Namjoon as something more than a friend. It’s confusing and a little mortifying and it’s starting to affect her in ways she hadn’t expected. When they record, she feels fidgety—she’s jumpy when he gets close, has all the stupid obvious tells of an unwanted crush: her breath hitches when he whispers (why the fuck is he whispering in her ear, anyway? Doesn’t he know what that does to a person?) inside jokes to her so Jungkook can’t hear, her heart rate spikes when their fingers accidentally brush, she feels itchy and hot and a little embarrassed whenever he holds eye contact with her. It’s terrible, and it’s only made worse by the way he’s doing all of those things more than usual. Or, at least she thinks he is, thinks she’s not imagining the way his eyes linger on her more than she can remember happening before or the way she’s caught him staring at her lips when she chews on the end of her pencil mindlessly. 

You’ve completely forgotten how to breathe.

Namjoon’s staring again. You need to salvage this. He’s only on paragraph three and you’re already squirming in your chair and imagining things that are not appropriate. So you roll your lips, return his teasing. “Well? Do you stare at my lips?”

It works. “No,” he scowls.

“You sure?” you joke, morphing your face into something half-pout, half-duck face.

“We’re never gonna finish this if you keep making comments.”

“You started it,” you point out. “Go on, then.”

There’s some dialogue. Some prose that hits way too close to home, has you wondering who on earth wrote this and how they plucked every single thought from deep within your psyche. A pang of fear that maybe you haven’t been as subtle as you’d thought all these years. A moment to confirm to yourself that, no, you haven’t been harboring a secret, deeply-buried crush on Namjoon.

Then he reads—

And then he kisses her. It’s greedy and hot, his lips like a branding iron. She moans a little against her better judgment when he licks at the seam of her mouth, and in return, she can feel Namjoon’s lips curve into a smile against her own. It’s better than she’d been imagining it, really. He’s a good kisser—firm at the right times, soft when she needs it, careful but not cautious. He holds her jaw with one hand and keeps her right where he wants her beneath him (as if she’d want to move, anyway).  When their lips finally part, he rests his forehead on hers. It’s intimate in a way she hadn’t expected, and he looks at her as if she’s the answer to every question. Finally, he whispers, “What’re we doing, Piper?” His lips are still wet and pink and a little swollen from kissing, and she barely hears the question—she’s too busy thinking about kissing him again, about pulling his plump bottom lip between her teeth, teasing and…  “Kissing,” she says finally.  “What do you want?” he asks, sinking to his knees in front of her. And if that alone isn’t an answer to his question… “Whatever you’re willing to give,” she replies. It feels like she’s wanted this forever, this and so much more. Once she got the idea in her head, it’s hard to know if she ever felt differently, ever truly thought they could just be friends. Or, if in the back of her mind, in the dark corners that she never lets see daylight, she always knew she wanted Namjoon. Always knew she loved him.

—and everything goes right out the fucking window.

Namjoon sits with those words for a moment. Scans the paper in his hands and frowns a little when he confirms what you already know. “The rest is, uh. Porn.”

“That is why we’re here.”

“Last chance to back out.”

“I’m not scared,” you lie. “Are you? You’re the one who keeps stalling.”

He huffs. “You’re a pain in my ass,” he retorts, and then nothing is all that funny anymore.

Because Namjoon was right: the rest is straight-up porn. He’s barely able to read the part where he goes down on you with a straight face, turning a deep shade of crimson. Stutters through the part where you pull his hair, and that is not something you needed to know about your friend. You think he loses his grasp of language entirely when he reads, “When he slides a long finger into her and brushes past her most sensitive spot, she arches into him and lets his name fall from her lips in a soft cry. Piper, notorious skeptic, is a babbling, trembling mess as she gets closer to her orgasm,” because all the words are garbled together, producing nothing but gibberish. You think he’s ready to keel over and die when he reads, “Namjoon pulls away briefly, lips slick with her juices, and licks over his top one, pausing to tell her how good she tastes before he dives back in.”

“That was nice of them to include. I appreciate their attention to detail in regards to my personal hygiene.”

“This is so embarrassing,” he whines.

You roll your eyes good-naturedly. “Gimme. I’ll finish it.” He hands over the papers immediately.

Except you regret it immediately. The words you’re staring at are not words you ever thought you’d read or recite in your entire life. Not even for a million dollars. “Oh,” you say instead.

“See? Not as easy as it looks.”

“This is really embarrassing,” you confirm. “I might need another shot.”

“Y-yeah. Alcohol sounds good.”

Namjoon staggers forward obligingly, looks completely fucked out and pliant, willing to do whatever she asks. She remembers the sounds he made when she pulled his hair, wonders if he likes being bossed around, if he wants her to tell him what to do, to be a little mean to him. Maybe it’s different from her dreams, maybe he will beg her. She wants him so badly, she’d do anything for him. So, she pulls his briefs down to expose his absurdly large member, already mostly hard, and slaps it. Gently at first to see how he’ll react, and when he shudders and jerks his hips, she does it again, a little harder. “Look at you,” she whispers, “such a needy boy.”  He whimpers at that, eyes pleading. “Please, Piper…” he whines.   “Please what?” “Please let me fuck you,” he begs. She wants to, wants him so much, wants to feel him stretch her open, and from the looks of his cock, thick and long and drooling with precum, he could. “Should I?” she asks. She musters all her confidence to keep the condescending tone up. It feels wrong given how desperate she is to get him inside her, but it also seems to be getting him worked up and equally as desperate. “Do you even know what to do with that big, stupid cock?”  Namjoon’s cock twitches, and he begs, “I—I’ll fuck you so good, Piper…. I know how, I promise. Just… please?”

“Oh my god,” the two of you say in unison.

You so badly want to ask if this is biographical. How Namjoon feels about a little degradation; what he’d do if someone actually called his cock stupid. Ifsomeone has called his cock stupid. You dare a glance at him and conclude that someone’s had to. Namjoon just has that kind of energy.

But you can’t ask because it’d be weird, so you keep reading.

“How do you want me?” she asks softly when their lips part. There’s a wild look in his eyes, like he’s processing all the possible options out of everything he’s considered. And then it occurs to her. “Have you imagined this before? Thought about how you’d fuck me?” she teases him as she stands, stepping into him. Piper pushes one hand through his hair, brushing it back off of his forehead and wraps her other around his dick, squeezing a little for emphasis on her words. “Yes,” he groans as she strokes him, thumbing at the head of his cock. “Tell me what you want, then. Want me on all fours for you? Want me to show you how it’s done, to let you lay back and ride you so you don’t have to put in any work?” Namjoon’s breathing is getting heavy, pupils blown wider with each suggestion. 

“I told you!” you shriek, laughing in between the words. “I told you I’d…” And then your gloating tapers off, because what happens next has your brain malfunctioning.

“All of that,” he whines as she lets go of his hair and brings her hand down to run a fingertip over his perineum. “Want all of that. Want to bend you over the table and fuck you right here. Hear your sounds in the microphone.” Even in her dirtiest thoughts about him, she hadn’t considered the microphone, hadn’t considered recording it. When she thinks about it though, it makes sense. Namjoon is exactly the kind of person that would get off to someone’s voice. So, she does. She makes a show of turning around and slowly bending over the table, sliding her upper body across it carefully until she can reach her microphone and turn it on. When she says into it, “What’re you waiting for?” she sees over her shoulder the way that Namjoon shivers.

This is… not good. You’re never going to be able to look at a microphone the same way, which is extremely not good for a person who supplements their income with a very popular podcast that requires them to speak into a microphone for extended periods of time.

This is very, very bad.

Namjoon must be thinking the same, because he lets out a strangled a-haaa that’s less of a laugh and more a plea to God, the gods, the entire gamut of higher powers that might be able to save him. No one’s going to, you think, staring down at the paper again. This godless piece of fanfiction will be preserved on the internet forever, will be seared into your mind forever, and no amount of praying is going to erase it.

“I should, uh. Just read the rest, yeah? Get it over with?”

“Mhm. Yep. Yes, please.”

Don’t say please, you almost say. You can’t take it; not after what you’ve just read.

So you put on a show. Steel your expression and your nerves and take it seriously. Use voices and sound effects and desperately try to stave off the awkwardness you know is inevitable because a smut fic is probably only going to end one way, and that’s with you acting out Namjoon having an orgasm.

Maybe you’ll have another one, too, if the author is nice.

It’s sweet, she thinks, the way he’s easy for her, takes his time with her. Strokes his fingertips along her sides and kisses the back of her neck reverently. As much as she loves it, part of her hopes he’s not always like this—hopes he’ll give as good as he takes, hopes he’ll put her in her place. She can feel his cock hard against the cleft of her ass, not even inside her yet, and still, she thinks about next time and the time after that. “Still okay?” He breathes into her ear as his tip rubs against her cunt.  “Yeah—want you, Joon.”  “Never thought I’d hear you say those words.”  “I never thought you’d record them,” she teases, eyes glancing up to the flashing light showing the mic picking up all of this as he starts his slow slide into her.  Piper falls even further forward when he bottoms out, letting her forehead rest on the table. He’s whispering filth in her ear, about how he has something to prove, how she’ll never want anyone after this, how no one can fuck her the way he does.  She hates that he’s right.  Each stroke brings a new sensation: sparklers, butterflies, nerve endings on fire as he fucks into her and licks and sucks at her neck, her shoulders, her ear. Piper can’t even think, and this is what people mean when they talk about being fucked stupid, she decides.  It’s perfect.  Every time she thinks she’s getting close again, he changes something: fucks her a little shallower, moves his hips just a little, slows down, speeds up… It’s driving her crazy.  “Come on,” she whines. “I’m so close…” At least she can tell he is, too. No longer able to sustain the dirty talk, he’s breathing heavily, letting out broken moans and sighs of her name. He’s moving rhythmically now, thrusts consistently faster.  “Oh, fuck, Piper,” he groans, “Gonna cum.” One of his hands finds her clit and he rubs careful circles over her, bringing her to her peak along with him, no more teasing.  When she comes, it’s with a loud moan into the studio mic, and that seems to be what tips Namjoon over the edge, too. His hips stutter into hers as he comes, her cunt clenching around him for what feels like forever.

You deserve an award, you think. An Oscar. You didn’t even groan when you had to read the word “cunt,” and that’s a feat in and of itself.

“Is it over?” Namjoon asks, words muffled by the hands covering his face.

“Not quite,” you answer. “There’s some aftercare, and at the end you ask if I’ll piss on you.”

Namjoon gags. “I asked you what—”

“Today’s episode has been brought to you by Stamps-dot-com—”

HOLY SHIT THE NEW PATREON EPISODE???????? Posted by u/pod-shipper 4 minutes ago NO WAY. NOOOOOOO FUCKING WAY DUDE THERE’S NO FUCKING WAY THEY DID THIS AS AN ACTUAL EPISODE WHAT THE FUCK WHAT HTE FUCK WHAT EHTU FKF DFGLKDG;L (+705) I wasn’t sure if they were messing around before, and I was quite critical of the “shippers,” but now I’m pretty convinced. (+423) ↳ we’ve been telling y’all for YEARS 😤 (+197) ↳ Glad you’ve seen the light, u/RandomAcorn2058! (+5) ↳ ugh. they weren’t messing around before and they aren’t messing around now. do you guys not listen to what they say? namjoon’s been dating, and piper got out of a six-year relationship just over a year ago. if they’ve had something going on for “years” that means they’re both cheaters, and that’s a really shitty thing to assume about them. not to mention it makes the entire point of the podcast moot. (-63) Why do you guys think Jungkook “wasn’t allowed” to be there? (+314) ↳ So they could fuck lmao it’s so obvious (+329) ↳ because it’s awkward af? would you wanna read porn about yourself w all your coworkers in the room? (+2) ↳ the “it’s awkward” excuse is sooooo lame he’s the one who found it and is the one who edited the episode, he’s gonna see it regardless. (+15) ↳ Tbh I’m more curious about how he even found it to begin with? Do they have a throuple thing going on? Like, why was he looking for smut fic about his bosses? (+38)

You do not get through recording unscathed.

You are very scathed. Perhaps the most scathed a person has ever been.

Jungkook texts the group chat sporadically throughout the week, cracking jokes and making memes at your and Namjoon’s expense which is par for the course and shouldn’t have you off-kilter, but something inside you feels deeply wrong. Feels like someone’s given you devastating news; feels like it used to back in uni when you knew you’d failed an exam and were just waiting to see how badly.

It both helps and doesn’t that the internet is so invested. All the clips Jungkook keeps posting have re-doubled your Patreon numbers, and jumping up a tax bracket never hurt anyone, you included. But all of those jokes and memes largely went unanswered by both you and Namjoon, still too close to the incident to find the humor in it from the other side.

The two of you had sex.

Not literally, of course, but you figure you might as well have with the way you’re feeling. The way you’re avoiding one another. Someone wrote a story about the two of you having sex and you both read it and something about that, days later, feels really fucking unsettling.

In a bad way? You aren’t sure. It’s not like you’re mad or upset or any other synonym. You just feel… off. Itchy from the inside out, and that’s far from the norm in your and Namjoon’s friendship. In all the years you’ve known one another, you’ve never once avoided each other, including the time you’d set him up with a close friend and he showed up 45 minutes late to their date and ghosted after.

(Unsurprisingly, that friendship had not lasted.)

Maybe it’s because Yoongi had always been there as a buffer. You aren’t of the belief that men and women cannot be platonic friends, but being in a years-long committed relationship nixed a lot of awkward interactions and assumptions off the bat. Even Namjoon had known Yoongi first. Had introduced himself to you in your shared 100-level psych course with a, “Hey, you’re Min Yoongi’s girlfriend, right?” because they ran in the same underground circles and Namjoon had idolized him from afar for years.

Pretty fucked up, then, that Yoongi’s off in Los Angeles with his hot new boyfriend and you’re on your couch, Holly at your feet, pointedly ignoring your texts.

“I’m gonna get a cat,” you say to the dog, trying to redirect his attention when he starts chewing on your sock again. Holly doesn’t offer any input, of course, and he’s a lot like his father in that way. “I can’t believe you have a stepfather. You’re a proper child of divorce now, Min Holly.”

There are a pile of unread texts you continue to ignore in lieu of showing Holly pictures of adoptable cats. A few more memes from Jungkook, one from Namjoon’s new phone asking to move the recording date a few days because “something came up at work,” one from the food delivery service you admittedly use too much offering 10% off your next order, and two from Yoongi. This reminded me of you, the first one says beneath a picture of an ice cream cone on the ground, and another one of him holding a water gun that says send me a picture of my son or else.

You eventually reply back with a picture of your middle finger, Holly nothing but a blurred brown blob in the corner of the frame.

That’s how it goes for the better part of a week. Namjoon’s work issue lasts four days. He doesn’t offer an explanation and you don’t ask for one, you just wait for the all-clear text and try to quiet the nerves once you get it.

You’ve never been nervous to see Namjoon before.

The more popular the podcast became, the more money rolled in. The more money that rolled in, the more you could afford nicer things. That meant going from recording in Namjoon’s living room to a bona fide office space. Third floor, an expanse of windows and natural light, thirty-five minute commute by train.

Today, it feels more like thirty-five seconds.

You can hear Jungkook’s witch cackle from the stairwell, and your mind fills in the blanks of Namjoon’s exasperated sigh. It helps, your brain reminding you that you know these people. You know this is Jungkook’s late gym day, so he’ll be in a pair of sweats and a hoodie that drowns his frame. You know that when Namjoon has work issues and feels like an inconvenience, he always shows up with two boxes of baked goods from the bakery near his place, and you know both of them will save the best donut for you.

So you walk in and Jungkook’s in a hoodie and sweats just like you expect him to be, and there are two boxes of baked goods next to the coffee machine. Both of them say hello and wave and, for all intents and purposes, everything is normal.

Except it isn’t.

Because Namjoon looks… different.

Not in a bad way. Not in a bad way. He almost always dresses nicely, always looks polished and put-together, usually because he’s either going to or coming from campus—fitted shirts, either of the tee or dress variety, and earth-toned cardigans; tailored trousers that are sometimes corduroy; polished loafers. Sometimes, if he’s feeling extra casual, a stark white pair of tennis shoes.

Today, he wears none of those things.

No, today torture comes in the form of form-fitting jeans and a t-shirt a little oversized so he can roll the sleeves. His hair is brushed back off his face instead of parted down the middle. He’s wearing gold jewelry that glints in the sun. A pair of off-white Converse high-tops. And, much to your horror, he’s also wearing his glasses.

According to the internet, Kim Namjoon is peak husband material, which you can usually ignore, but not when he’s wearing glasses.

You avert your gaze, convinced you’ll burst into flames if you stare too long, not to mention Jungkook will notice and that’s a ribbing you’d rather die than take. So you avert your gaze and pointedly ignore Namjoon, who’s talking about his work crisis to no one in particular. Something about a co-worker going on an unexpectedly early paternity leave, and Namjoon being asked to cover some of his courses until they could find a more permanent fix.

Jungkook asks a question you don’t catch. Because paternity leave means his co-worker and his partner had a baby, presumably via old-fashioned methods, and it’s not a direct mention of sex but it’s close enough to send you into a coughing fit you have to blame on your donut. Neither of them buy it, but Namjoon is a good enough person to look genuinely concerned. Reaches out, probably to slap your back, but the thought of him touching you is just… too much.

So he barely gets out an, “Are you o—” before you choke down whatever’s left in your mouth and cut him off with a, “Yep, all good!” before you’re scurrying off to the opposite side of the room like a little rat.

It doesn’t get any better.

Both of you are so stilted and awkward during recording that Jungkook has to be the voice of reason and call it, suggest trying again tomorrow. Luckily he has enough b-side stuff he can release if need be, Namjoon’s work emergency providing a decent cover, and he sends the two of you home for the afternoon with all the exasperation and incredulity of a disappointed parent.

Thirty-five minutes back home.

Thirty-five minutes to sit in the embarrassment of not being able to do your job. Thirty-five minutes to catastrophize and wonder what you’re going to do if you can’t get it together. Namjoon will keep the podcast, of course; you’ll be replaced with someone else. Maybe someone less cynical, maybe someone more, but undoubtedly a man. After this mess, you can’t imagine Namjoon would want another female co-host.

But as embarrassed as you are, your traitorous brain keeps thinking about Namjoon.

Thirty-five minutes to think about his glasses and his rolled-up sleeves and the way the denim of his jeans contoured perfectly to his thighs. Thirty-five minutes to think about, “Please let me fuck you,” he begs. Thirty-five minutes to squeeze your thighs together and overanalyze the way he stumbled over his words today; how he could barely make eye contact. Thirty-five minutes to draft a dozen resignation texts and delete them all.

You groan, head thunking against the train window. You’ll take a cold shower as soon as you get home.

That’ll cure you.

You get home and walk Holly so long he gives up halfway through and you have to carry him back to your apartment. You take a cold shower and actually find it pleasant once the initial shock wears off, so it doesn’t work to keep all your rogue Namjoon thoughts at bay. You make a simple dinner and don’t think about Namjoon sitting you on the counter and having his way with you. You tuck yourself into bed far too early and consider going back to therapy, because clearly something very, very bad has happened to your psyche.

Needless to say, nothing cures you.

But it’s a new day, and you’re determined to get your shit together. Yesterday was a fluke, because you’re so normal and so capable of being in the same room as Kim Namjoon.

Except—you’re not.

Jungkook’s there when you arrive, mindlessly scrolling through his phone. Barely looks up at you to say hello, and barely returns it when you do. You double-check the time, because you can count on two fingers the amount of times you’ve shown up and Namjoon wasn’t already there, jotting down extensively-detailed notes, circling and highlighting and chasing down Jungkook to ask questions.

“Where’s Namjoon?”

Jungkook shrugs. “Dunno. Not here.”

You roll your eyes. “Super helpful, thanks.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes right back. “You don’t pay me enough to also be his handler.”

You bite your tongue. Arguing with Jungkook means you’ve already lost the war. Not worth it. But it still eases your worries a bit that he doesn’t know any more than you do. That Namjoon hadn’t only texted him to say why he was running late because he didn’t want to—or couldn’t—talk to you.

So you wait. And you wait and you wait and you wait. Jungkook lets you talk to people on his dating apps and tells you about his new gym routine until your eyes are glazing over. Orders food delivery for the two of you because he gets hungry after an hour and had already eaten what was left of the snacks before you arrived. Cracks a joke that isn’t really a joke about calling the police, because Namjoon still hasn’t shown up and he hasn’t said anything and none of your texts are showing as delivered.

You’re halfway to hour two when the office door bursts open and Namjoon stumbles through, soaked with sweat and stammering over apologies.

“I am so sor—I broke my phone again so my alarm never went off and then I missed my bus? And apparently they’re not running the regular bus schedule today so the next one was a half-hour wait, but then I…”

You don’t catch the rest, because Namjoon is covered in sweat and breathing heavily and a week ago you could’ve survived this. A week ago you would’ve cracked a joke and handed him a towel and told him to get to work. A week ago you would not have been paralyzed in your seat, transfixed on the sweat rolling down the side of his neck.

You are fucked beyond belief.

Jungkook elbows you in the ribs, bringing you back to reality. “...even paying attention?” You startle, face warming in embarrassment. Namjoon still isn’t looking at you. “This is so sad to watch,” Jungkook mumbles, and thankfully it’s only loud enough for you to hear. “Like some stupid shit you only see in nature documentaries.”

Well, you can’t really argue with that, now can you?

But you’re a professional above all, so you hum an acknowledgment and take your regular seat. Pointedly ignore Jungkook. Wait for Namjoon to assume his position as well, and you’re surprised to see the space in front of him empty. No notes. No script. There’s just… nothing.

“Are you okay?” you ask, gesturing to the space in front of him when he seems confused. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you without a stack of notes in front of you.”

“I forgot them.”

“Don’t think I’ve ever seen you do that, either.”

Your tone is light and airy, not at all accusing or confrontational, but Namjoon’s jaw clenches nonetheless. He scoffs, fires a shitty little, “Were you not paying attention when I was talking about what a horrible fucking morning I’ve had?” at you that makes even Jungkook flinch. A few moments of stunned silence, and then, “Oh fuck, I’m so sorry, that was rude—”

“Yeah, it was,” you agree, and all of a sudden you feel too big for your body. Feel like there are ants beneath your skin, feel like everything is wrong, and you don’t want to be here anymore. “It’s fine. Let’s just—”

Namjoon looks like he wants to argue, but he just sighs and says, “I—yeah, okay.”

This is where Namjoon would usually launch into the intro, a dimpled smile already plastered on his face that’d drop as he discussed another failed first date with that brand of self-deprecation that makes him so endearing. This is where he’d say what have you been up to, Pipe, and you’d try not to groan because how hard could it possibly be to add one more letter, another syllable, but Namjoon seems incapable of it. This is the part that, for three years, has been seamless and easy and instinctual, just two friends having a conversation.

There’s a red light on your microphones that indicates you’re recording. It’s on and it mocks you, because Namjoon is not doing the intro or telling you about a failed date. He doesn’t use that cringey nickname. He doesn’t say anything at all. His mouth opens and shuts and no words come out. What’s worse is that you know exactly why he can’t speak, because you’re thinking about it, too.

“So, uh,” you begin, and Jungkook makes a gagging sound from behind you. “Come here often?”

Namjoon ignores you. “Right, right, the intro…” He sucks in a breath. “Welcome back to another episode of Put Him in the Trash, I’m—”

“Joon—”

“Namjoon, and my co-host here is—”

“Joon, that’s not—”

“Piper. Wait, why are you looking at me like that?”

“That’s not the name of our podcast.”

“Huh?”

“You said Put Him in the Trash.” Namjoon just blinks. “It’s Place Him Gently in the Garbage.”

“Is it? Since when?”

“Since forever?”

He looks at Jungkook, who is hiding behind his hands. “Is she right?”

A beat of silence. “I can’t do this,” he half-shouts, half-whines. “Are you two going to be like this forever? Because if you are, I’m quitting. I’m so serious. I’m gonna quit. I can’t take it anymore. The two of you are insufferable.” Another beat of silence, before Jungkook stands at full height and lords over you and Namjoon. “Forget today. Just go home and try again on Monday. This is so—I’m seriously gonna quit.”

Yoongi comes on Saturday afternoon to pick up Holly.

Yijeong isn’t with him, which is almost disappointing. Now that he’s dating again, you were looking forward to seeing just how awkward it could get with the three of you in the same room, but he looks good. Refreshed. The trip clearly did a world of good for him, and you can’t even bring yourself to crack a joke at his expense.

He, however, has no such hang-ups. “You look like shit.”

“Weird way to say thank you.” You click your tongue and look down at Holly. “Do you see how your father treats me? You should bite him.”

“My son would never. But also, thank you.” He flops onto the sofa. “You do look like shit, though. You wanna talk about it?”

“Not with you, preferably.”

“Oh, gross, is it a dating thing, then?”

“I—no.” You pause. It’s not a dating thing, but you still feel like you’ve got motion sickness whenever you think about it. How would you even begin to explain this to Yoongi, anyway? Someone wrote a porn fic about me and Namjoon. You remember Namjoon, right? Namjoon, that I’ve known and have been friends with since college. Yeah, that Namjoon. Anyway, someone wrote fanfiction about us having sex, and it fucked me up so bad I can no longer be in the same room as him.

No fucking way.

“You look like you’re holding in a fart.”

“You know, I’m getting really sick of you. Did you just come here to insult me?”

He snorts, but his smirk dissipates a few seconds later, a familiar seriousness filling the void. “We’re okay, right? Was the Yijeong thing too soon?”

“No,” you answer immediately, leaning over to flick him on the forehead. “We’re fine, and if you’re happy, then I’m happy for you.” He still looks doubtful. “You want me to start singing ‘I Will Always Love You’ or something? It’s just… weird work stuff.”

“Depends. Are you singing the Dolly Parton or Whitney version? And real work or podcast work?”

“Podcast work, and obviously the Whitney version.”

Yoongi seems surprised by this, eyebrows disappearing beneath his fringe. “Like, the podcast with Namjoon?” He presses his tongue into the fat of his cheek when you nod your head. “Not gonna lie, I didn’t think that was possible.”

“Like I said, it’s weird. It wasn’t, like, an argument or anything.”

“How weird?”

“You’re so fake, Min Yoongi. You act like you’re so distinguished and above drama, but really you’re just as hungry for gossip as the rest of us.”

He shrugs. “I’m not denying it.”

God help you, you’re going to rip off the band-aid. “Someone… Jesus, this is so embarrassing. Someone… wrote? Fanfiction? About us.”

“About you and Namjoon?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh my god—”

“About us… uh. Having sex? Specifically.”

“Oh my god—”

“Jungkook found it and thought it’d be funny if we read it for an episode.”

“Oh my god?”

“So we did? And it was really weird, which I expected, because I’ve known Namjoon for a long time, and I never, ever thought about having sex with him because we were together and me and Namjoon are friends, so yeah, it was fucking weird. But now… I don’t know. I can’t stop thinking about it? And now we can’t even be in the same room as one another.” Yoongi is a concerning shade of red. “So our show is gonna get canceled, because we can only release b-side stuff for so long until people realize something’s up, and it was Namjoon’s podcast to begin with so obviously I’ll get fired—”

“Oh my god, you want to fuck Namjoon.”

Yoongi sounds like a strangled cat when he says this, which does not help the way you feel like you’ve been hit square in the face with a frying pan. “No,” you argue, though it sounds more like a question. You do not want to fuck Namjoon. “No, no. No. It’s just because it was weird.”

“Did you forget I dated you for six years? I know what you look like when you want to fuck someone.”

“You’re telling me you wouldn’t be weird if someone wrote fanfiction about you fucking your friend?”

“Not if I didn’t actually want to fuck them, no.”

“You’re a liar. Get your dog and get out of my apartment.”

Yoongi laughs as he stands. Pats you on the back in the most condescending way you’ve ever had someone pat you on the back. “Let me know how it goes. No need to give me credit for your moment of horny clarity.”

Min Yoongi is a bastard.

Unfortunately, as you come to find out, he’s also a correct bastard.

You want to fuck Namjoon.

Which is… not great, you have to admit, considering he can barely stand to be around you, so you take another cold shower and decide you’re going to take this to your grave. You’re going to spend the rest of the weekend getting your shit together, and you’re going to show up on Monday and be a consummate professional. You’re going to look at Namjoon and say, ha ha, isn’t it so funny someone thought we would have sex? I don’t think about it at all because I am so cool and normal about it.

You’ve got it all planned out. You’re going to show up fifteen minutes early with your own box of pastries. You’re going to look nice, if not a little pretentious—maybe a nice sweater. You’re going to be prepared with notes of your own. You might even be nice to the villain of the week so Namjoon doesn’t have to pinch the bridge of his nose and sigh at you.

And then someone knocks on your door.

You find Namjoon on the other side, and all your plans immediately go to shit.

Has he always been this tall? You can’t remember. You can’t remember a lot of things, including how to speak, because Yoongi had launched you into a crisis of epic proportions and now here’s the source of it, standing right in front of you. With all of his… height. And thighs. And that heady, musky cologne he always wears, that you can still smell now even though there’s an unfortunate amount of distance between you.

“Uh, hi.”

You blink. “Hi,” you parrot, and it’s a little insulting how one single word seems to have sucked up all of your brainpower. “Namjoon,” you tack on, not awkward at all.

“Sorry to just show up,” he says, scratching at the back of his neck. Very bad idea; makes his biceps bulge. You barely swallow your whimper. “It’s just—my phone’s still broken, and it felt bad leaving things how we did? So I was hoping we could talk.”

Talk. Namjoon wants to talk to you. Normally: not a problem. Currently: big problem. You manage a nod, open the door wider to let him in, and you don’t think about how jarring it is to have Namjoon in your space. You don’t think about how your legs feel like jelly all of a sudden, or what it’d be like if Namjoon bent you over the couch, or the kitchen counter, or the—

You cough. “Do you want anything to drink?”

“Oh, sure. Maybe just some water if you have it.”

If you have it. What kind of person doesn’t have water? But you tell him to make himself comfortable and get him some anyway, and you mull too long over the size of the glass. Ultimately decide on a smaller one, because if things get unbearably awkward you can excuse yourself to the kitchen to get more.

“I haven’t been here in a while,” Namjoon says from the living room, and when you look up he’s sorting through a stack of books near the window. Some he’d lent you months ago, notes jotted in the corners, sticky notes in the shape of sea animals on important pages. “You ever wind up reading this?”

The Idiot. Namjoon had raved about it when he was in the midst of his 19th century Russian phase, right after he’d read a bunch of Tolstoy and Pushkin. You shake your head—though, judging from the title, you wonder if someone hadn’t written your biography.

“It’s good. If you have the time, you should definitely give it a shot.”

“Yeah, of course,” you say, handing over his water. You take a seat in an armchair, pull your knees to your chest. Namjoon’s still looking through your books, isn’t looking at you, so it feels safe to say, “You wanted to talk?”

“Yeah.” He moves to sit on the floor, massive thighs spreading until he’s comfortable. Thank god he can’t see the look on your face. “I just wanted to make sure we’re alright. Things have felt pretty weird since we filmed the, uh.” He coughs. “Thing.”

“Right, yeah.” You realize he’s waiting for an answer, and you offer up a very rushed, “We’re fine, Joon.”

“Are you sure?”

Yeah, you’re sure: sure you absolutely cannot be having this conversation in the safety and sanctity of your own home. It’s tainted now, contaminated by all your uncontrolled horny thoughts about the man in front of you. You’ll have to fumigate. Might have to pick up and move, actually, or call an exorcist.

“I’m sure,” you assure him. “The… thing… was weird, but it’s fine. Temporary.”

“Do you think we shouldn’t have done it?”

That’s the million-dollar question, isn’t it? Because, in isolation, reading a porn fic about yourselves wasn’t a big deal. No one got hurt. Everyone who needed to be consulted was consulted. The episode made the two of you a lot of money, and Jungkook even promised to send some of it to the author, so your bases are beyond covered.

So, should you have done it? There wasn’t a good enough reason not to, because the story itself was never the problem.

The problem is staring you right in the face. It’s sitting on your floor, a book cracked in half at the spine and forgotten in his lap. The problem is looking at you like you hold all the answers to the universe’s secrets, and it’s no small thing to be looked at like that. The problem is that Namjoon is looking at you like that from across the room but you’re wondering what it’d look like from on top of you.

The problem is that you’ve co-hosted a podcast with Namjoon for three years, have known him even longer, and you’ve just realized today that you want to have sex with him.

And you can’t say that, can you, because Namjoon came here to fix things which really does not lend itself to a hookup. Namjoon cares about your friendship and your working relationship so much he came here to try and salvage it, so you’re going to keep your mouth shut. You’re going to say, “I think it’s okay that we did,” and leave it at that. Because it is okay.

Because you’re the problem.

It feels like a small victory when Namjoon sags in relief. When he exhales and says, “Okay, good, because I think so, too.”

“It made us a lot of money,” you tack on.

Namjoon’s eyes widen as he laughs. “Right? Like, that was almost too much money. Just to watch us read porn?”

“About ourselves. I think that was the selling point.”

He stands. You do, too. “Never thought I’d be doing that,” he says, returning the book to where it belongs. “Definitely the most embarrassing thing I’ve done for money.”

“Being a man with a podcast wasn’t embarrassing enough?”

He snorts. Gets closer to the door. “Hey now.” You’re going to survive this. “Thanks for entertaining me, by the way. For a second there I was really worried we’d fucked it all up.”

Just the ending. Just one more thing to say and you’ll be done with this, and then you can take your third cold shower in recent memory and triple text Yoongi with a full-fledged mental breakdown. Maybe he’ll bring Holly back and you can register him as your emotional support animal.

And Namjoon must sense the awkwardness that’s crept back in, because he tries to cover it with a joke. Says, “Haaa, like you’d actually piss on me, right?”

Except it sounds like he’s got a mouth full of marbles.

It’s no wonder you mishear him.

Because he says like you’d actually piss on me but you hear like you’d actually kiss me, and there isn’t a universe that exists in which the following makes sense: you, stunned into silence in the doorframe, Namjoon saying his goodbyes, you thinking fuck it, last chance and saying, “Yeah, I’d kiss you.”

Namjoon stops dead in his tracks. “What?”

Your entire body is on fire. “Is, uh. Is that not what you said?”

“I don’t think it matters anymore what I said.”

“I’d argue that it does, for the sake of my digni—”

“You’d kiss me?” Namjoon… doesn’t look put off of the idea, which is surely a point in your favor. Interesting to note that his diction is crystal clear, now. Bastard. “You’d kiss me right now?”

There’s also no explanation for the way you say: “It’s only been an option for ten seconds and you’re already begging for it?”

You’d say there’s no explanation for the way Namjoon’s jaw clenches, the way he repeats I don’t beg for anything, but maybe the simple fact is: the two of you want to fuck each other. And, judging from the way Namjoon crowds your space, keeps dropping his gaze to your mouth, it seems very likely to happen.

All that fixating you’d done on Namjoon’s thighs was wasted, you think, as you take in the shape of his mouth. His lips. The way his tongue darts out to run along the bottom at the last second before he reaches out, tilts your head up, and finally presses his mouth to yours.

And you’ve got to laugh, because no piece of written fiction could ever accurately portray what it feels like. How soft his lips are. The way he touches you—gentle, but still dominant enough to have you moving the way he wants, have you backing up into your apartment so he can smile against your mouth as he closes the door behind him.

No piece of fiction would get it right, the way you’re unsteady on your feet, breathless at the way Namjoon’s kissing you. How he only breaks apart long enough to ask where do you want me in that throaty, deep voice of his. How you’re so overwhelmed you can’t decide: unsure if you want to waste the time it’d take to get to your bedroom, but if it’s only going to happen once, wanting to make it count.

So you decide to risk it. Plant your hands in the middle of his exceptionally broad chest and push him in the direction of the hallway, and if the two of you can’t wait, can’t control yourselves, well.

But the story had gotten one thing right: Namjoon does kiss like a branding iron, hot and greedy. Namjoon kisses you like there’s nothing else he wants to do in this lifetime, and it makes you dizzy. Has you off-kilter, stumbling into the wall as you try to remember where the fuck your bedroom is and why it’s so far. Just like the fictional version of you, you also moan when he licks into your mouth.

“Should I do it the way we did in the fic?” Namjoon asks as the two of you cross the threshold into your bedroom, a cheeky grin on his face. “Do it like this?” he questions, pushing you gently until you’re on the back in the middle of your bed, chest heaving as you lift your head to look at him.

Namjoon is so, so big from where you lay, just hovering at the foot of your bed. Cheeks ruddy, bulge prominent. “What’d you say you wanted?”

Takes a second to remember how to breathe, let alone what you’d read. What do you want, Namjoon had asked, right before he’d sank to his knees in front of you. “Whatever you’re willing to give,” you answer.

Namjoon smiles. Puts one knee on the bed, and the way it dips beneath his weight is unsettling. Why does he have to be so fucking large. “That’s right, baby.” Christ, you think, because there’s another thing that fic had gotten right. No one on earth would be immune to Namjoon calling them baby in that tone of voice.

The riposte biting at the back of your teeth gets swallowed whole as Namjoon grabs your ankles and drags you to the edge of the bed. “May I?” he asks, hands poised above the waistline of your leggings. You nod, and Namjoon drags down your underwear with them. “Fuck, look at you,” he groans, awe creeping into the edge of his words.

“You want me to do it the same way? Hm? You’re being awfully quiet; thought you were giving me shit about being the one in charge,” he chides.

Because you’re short-circuiting. Namjoon’s on his knees, just like you’d envisioned, and his mouth is dangerously close to your cunt. How can you be expected to think and speak under these conditions? But if Namjoon can find the brainpower to be a bastard, so can you, because what you’d read and the way he’d reacted can both never be forgotten. So you thread your hands into his hair and pull. The resulting moan is enough to sustain you for years.

“Are you gonna keep running your mouth, or are you gonna make me come on it?”

He blinks. “Jesus Christ.”

There’s precedent. Fictional Namjoon ate you out like a man starved, like he couldn’t get enough. Had fictional you writhing and insatiable, so it’s a lot to live up to, but it doesn’t deter him in the slightest. He hesitates for only a second, giving you one last chance to back out before the two of you set every last boundary on fire, and then he’s settling between your thighs and making you see stars.

Now you know what it’s like. Now you don’t have to rely on fiction, and it doesn’t matter because it’d never compare to the way Namjoon feels as he works to bring you to your ruin. The way he flattens his tongue to lick long, thick stripes; the way his lips suction around your clit. The way it feels when he groans against your core. The way he says, “Fuck, you do taste good,” like that’s a completely normal thing to say. Like he doesn’t know exactly what he’s doing to you.

But you need more and Namjoon knows it. His mouth doesn’t leave your cunt for a second, but his fingers find your mouth, so you put on a show. Wrap your lips around them, suck on them the way he’s doing to you, make sure they’re slick. Namjoon groans again, doubles his efforts. Slides one thick finger inside of you and barely lets you adjust before he’s adding a second.

In an embarrassingly short amount of time, Namjoon has you unraveling. Presses incessantly on a spot that has your vision whiting out. Has you trembling, a little panicked as you say, “Joon, fuck—Namjoon, wait—” as it builds and builds and builds.

You might black out for a second, because you come to and Namjoon looks… stunned. He looks like he can’t believe any of what just happened, and you blink a few times, try to come back into your body, and when you regain enough consciousness, you’re extremely aware of the large wet patch beneath you.

“Um—”

“Holy shit.”

“Namjoon, that’s not—that’s embarrassing—can you grab a—”

He shuts you up with a kiss. Presses the taste of you into your skin, and all those silly protests die in your throat, because if Namjoon was needy before, he’s desperate now. Covers your body with his own, hips dipping down low enough to press his erection into the juncture of your thigh, and the weight of him is delicious. Has you fisting the fabric of his t-shirt to pull him closer, has you pulling it over his head, his pants following. Has your hands skimming down every thick part of his body until you reach his cock, hard and aching and slick with pre-cum.

“I need to suck you off later,” you say, done with overthinking. Time to just be honest, and Kim Namjoon has a dick you need to feel down your throat. “Remind me.”

He whines, thrusts into your hand a little harder. “How could I forget that?”

“Don’t know. Didn’t know if this would be the only time,” you answer. “Did you bring a condom?” Namjoon nods, fetches one from his wallet and rolls it on.

He hovers above you again. Looks nervous, all of a sudden, like he can’t tell his lefts from his rights. All out of sorts. You’re about to tell him it’s fine, you don’t have to do anything he doesn’t want to, don’t have to do anything at all, when he says, “It doesn’t have to be.” You just stare. “The only time.”

There’s a conversation to be had. You know that. Both of you clearly have feelings you need to talk about and sort out, but you reckon they can wait. They’ll still be there in the afterglow, in the morning. So you nod, say okay, Joon, and kiss away the insecurities that still linger.

You think about the fic. Think maybe Namjoon would appreciate it if you cracked a stupid joke, just like he’d tried to do earlier. “Has anyone ever called your cock stupid?”

He laughs, breath fanning against your skin. “No. Wanna try it and see what happens?”

Might as well. You try to remember the exaggerated tone of voice you’d used. Repeat the line—“Do you even know what to do with that big, stupid cock?”—and wait.

There’s a beat of silence, and then—

Namjoon swallows thickly. “I, um. Unfortunately, I think that really works for me.” You laugh. Pull him closer. Wrap your legs around his waist as he starts to move against you. Has jokes of his own. “Please. Please let me fuck you.”

You roll your eyes, laugh tapering into a giggle. “Do you know how?” Namjoon nods, looking all too much like a puppy eager to please its owner. “Do you promise?” He nods again. “Okay. Okay, come here.”

You expect him to move fast; expect the first time to be frenzied and a little awkward. It isn’t. Namjoon lines himself up and pushes the smallest bit inside, and then he’s leaning down to kiss you. Threads your fingers together, squeezes your hand. Pushes further inside and mumbles praise just beneath your ear.

It’s dizzying, the amount of care Namjoon handles you with. How soft he is. Does nothing to ease the discomfort of the stretch, the overwhelming fullness, but he talks you through it. Tells you how good you feel, how beautiful you look. Spills a lot of words you’d probably be embarrassed to hear and he’d be embarrassed to say if this was any other time, but in the heat of the moment it all just works to unravel you faster.

He bottoms out. “Okay?” he asks, and you’re rewarded with a dimpled smile when you say you are. Namjoon is a devastating kind of beautiful.

But, as he gives you time to adjust and you give him the all-clear, he also fucks like a demon. What once was hand-holding is now your wrists pinned to the bed, your body caged beneath him as he rolls his hips at a pace that has your eyes rolling back into your head. You’ve been deceived. Lured into a false sense of security.

It’s almost a shame this isn’t being recorded, because you want to memorize all the sounds Namjoon’s making. Want to hear them for the rest of your life. Don’t want anyone else to be the reason he sounds like this, and as he ups his pace and presses his lips to your neck, you don’t want to sound like this because of anyone else, either.

Maybe one of those times in the future, you can talk him into it.

Namjoon reaches down, rubs circles into your clit. Every time you think you might be close, he pulls his hand away, smiles like the devil. You let him have his fun for a while, let him think you’re keen to lie back and take it, and then you tighten your legs around his waist and flip him onto his back.

He doesn’t think it’s very funny. Looks up at you all bewildered. “What’re you—”

“You were taking too long,” you snark. “Figured I’d take matters into my own hands.”

“Yeah? Shit,” he says as you begin to move. “Fuck, baby, like that. Ride me just like that.”

You do. Don’t change a thing, because Namjoon’s cock is long and thick enough to hit exactly where you need it to. You can feel yourself clenching, feel yourself getting wetter, and the sight of Namjoon beneath you does nothing to stave off the inevitable. He looks even better than you’d imagined: skin flushed, eyes squeezed shut, head thrown back, sweat-slick. You want to make him cry. Want to give him the entire world. You will.

Namjoon thrusts at the same time you roll your hips, and that’s what does it. Has you crying out, has stars flashing behind your eyelids. Has you saying fuck, fuck, fuck as he drives you over the edge for the second time. Has you on the brink of oversensitive as he thrusts a few more times to chase his own end, almost delirious at the way Namjoon moans as he spills into the condom.

Has you swooning, just a bit, at the dopey way Namjoon smiles at you, eyes half-lidded and crinkled at the corners.

“Was that okay?”

You snort. “Yeah, I’d say it was decent.”

“Maybe next time you could pee on me,” he jokes.

You whack him on the chest. “Sure. Or we could record it.”

Has you a little shocked at the way his cock twitches inside of you at the mention of it.

On Monday, you don’t wear a pretentious sweater.

When you stroll in, Jungkook’s already got the best donut shoved halfway into his mouth because he’s a shithead. He eyes you warily, probably hoping with all his hope that you spent the weekend finding God and getting your shit together.

And then he realizes you’ve got on Namjoon’s hoodie and he nearly chokes to death.

“What the fuck are you wearing—”

Namjoon appears at that very moment, and it’s so hard not to take credit for the way he’s glowing, the dazed smile on his face. But Jungkook notices, because Jungkook notices everything, and his gaze darts between the two of you: your hoodie, Namjoon’s face, your face. He opens his mouth, something inappropriate bound to spill out, but Namjoon beats him to the punch. “Ready?” he asks you, and you nod.

It’s seamless.

No hiccups, no awkward stuttering. Namjoon gets through the intro without a hitch, and it feels exactly like it used to. Just two friends having a conversation. It’s obvious Jungkook still wants to say something, but after suffering through last week, he stays quiet lest he makes it worse and sends the two of you back to the bad place.

“How was your weekend, Pipe? Do anything fun?” Namjoon rolls his lips, tries not to laugh.

So you play along. “No, not really, just some dog sitting. How about you?”

“Oh, you know me. Had another first date on Saturday.”

“Did you? How’d it go?”

“Perfect.”

It’s a blessing Jungkook isn’t filming this, because your eyebrows raise so far they nearly disappear from your face altogether. There isn’t even a hint of hesitation in Namjoon’s voice, and although you would’ve described it the same way, hearing him say it with such conviction has you a little stunned. “Wow. You gonna see her again?”

“Yeah,” Namjoon says, sharing a private smile with you. “I think I am.”

who the FUCK is namjoon dating Posted by u/pod-shipper 7 minutes ago This has honestly ruined my entire day. I thought all the stories he told about dating were a bit… Like, what kind of guy has a podcast about relationships but can’t seem to be in one? But you could just HEAR it in his voice how much he likes this woman he went on a date with over the weekend and I’m sick to my stomach. (+2195) ↳ bro you and me both 😭 i genuinely thought him and piper had something going on fr (+1302) ↳ Seriously might stop listening because of this! Any woman with self-respect would never let their partner host a podcast with someone they’re obviously in love with. If he gets serious with this woman, Piper will be gone within 6 months, mark my words. (+927) ↳ I wouldn’t worry about it too much! My cousin works at a really nice restaurant in the same city Namjoon lives in, and she said she saw this “date” on Saturday and that it wasn’t anything serious. (+788) ↳ Piper got a cat and Namjoon finally got a second date. Face it, it’s over. (+325) ↳ cannot believe him and piper aren’t dating.. do you think i should delete all my tiktok edits? (+4) ↳ this is unhinged lmfao i thought y’all hated piper? you’re in here bitching abt her being a “misandrist” every week and now ur gonna stop listening bc namjoon isn’t dating her? pick a lane and stay in it (-64)

Thank you so much for reading! I'd love to hear your thoughts, and reblogs/shares are always welcome! I appreciate you very much~ ♡

[museofmanta]

adeline's darkest night - ep12

don't mind me, just collecting their height difference

[hugshughes]

invisible string L. Hughes

Luke Hughes x fem!reader

synopsis - Luke had been one of your closest friends since childhood. Somehow, everything in both of your lives just came back to each other.

wc - 3.8k

contains - cursing, literally nothing, extremeeeeeeeee fluff, kissing, hugging, cuddling, (im just a girl ok), obliviousness, this is a bittttt cliche... THEY CONFESS AND KISS IN THE RAIN OK???? idiots in love, eating and drinking. TAKES PLACE SUMMER 2023 (like end of May???)

an - SLIGHTLY EDITED!!! im hunrgy. anyways THIS WAS SO FCUKINF CUTE TO WRITEEEEEEE. my luke baby is so invisible string😇😇😇😇. ugh i miss him. i (possibly intoxicatedly) karaoked better man by Taylor Swift the other night just fyi. my author notes are like my personal diary because i assume no one reads them. i could prob say my ss number and full name address and no one would ever know. do u guys know how fuckign embarrassing it is to reread a fic u posted a few days ago and find typos like u guys probably think im stupid and hate me now. this was not at all about Luke Hughes or Invisible String... ENJOY BABIES!!!!

-

green was the color of the grass, where i used to read in centennial park. i used to think i would meet somebody there.

You were what some would call a hopeless romantic. You loved love. You loved reading it, watching it, seeing it in real life, it was just beautiful to you.

You'd grown up with the Hughes boys. They were your neighbors during the summer, your family's lake house being next to theirs. You were the same age as their youngest son, Luke. You two were ride or dies during the summer, and when you finally got a phone in seventh grade, you two texted the rest of the year.

It was finally summer, your school year at Notre Dame had come to a close and you were able to fly home and go to the lake with your family all by May 13th. You watched the final Canes games against the boys, you were sad for them, but so proud of your best friend.

It was nearing June, and you were alone in the lake house, opting out of the afternoon boat ride for some peace and quiet. You walked through the halls, stopping at the dresser covered in summer photos. You and your brother, you and Luke, more you and Luke, and some of your brother and the Hughes.

teal was the color of your shirt, when you were sixteen at the yogurt shop. you used to work at to make a little money.

You noticed one of your favorite photos wasn't there, the one of you and Luke when you were about 16, you're both standing behind the counter at the ice cream place you two worked at during that summer. You spent all day with Luke during those days, and it was the best.

You opened the dresser the photos sat on, seeing more photos. The ice cream shop one, and one you weren't anticipating. You didn't know your mom had printed and framed it. It was you and Luke the summer you were 18, both smiling at the camera with the sunset in the background as you sat on his lap in an Adirondack chair in the backyard of the Hughes' house.

The photo gave you crazy butterflies. That summer was the last time you saw Luke during the summer. Last summer you two were both at the lake at different times, you'd seen his whole family, minus him. His mom told you how he was still with his college teammates on a different Michigan lake. You had to act like you didn't really care, even though you did, so much.

Since the picture was just sitting in the dresser, not on display, you decided to take it to your room. You placed it gently on your bedside table, smiling then leaving to go down to the pool.

time, curious time. gave me no compasses, gave me no signs.

It was weird how you and Luke always seemed to be pulled together. There was some driving force between you two that was unbreakable, not even if you wanted it to. When it wasn't the summer, you lived three hours from the Hughes family, so randomly bumping into Luke was even more bizarre than anything else.

You remember when you were 15, you and your mom were picking up dinner one night at a local place and in walks Luke, Jack, and Ellen. You squealed when you saw him, running over to say hey. The boys had been in town for hockey, weirdly enough.

Interactions like that happened way more often than normal, you randomly bumped into the boy at least once every two or three months for years.

were there clues i didn't see? and isn't it just so pretty to think,

You remember when you were surprised by Luke at age 17. He came and surprised you as your prom date and you were floored. He had flowers and a corsage for you, and his tie matched your dress perfectly. Your moms thought it was the cutest thing ever, how you both blushed and giggled when near each other.

all along there was some invisible string, tying you to me?

Even though you two couldn't seem to get away from each other, neither of you ever made a move romantically. It just didn't seem realistic, you already lived hours away from each other and were going to colleges even farther, well Luke was going to the NHL but you get the point.

You guys were just best friends, always best friends. Your families knew, especially his brothers. They were your biggest fans, probably because they saw how you made their baby brother, how soft he was with you. You made him gentle, but also made him more comfortable and talkative, which Quinn and Jack loved.

ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

Luke made you weak, and your family noticed. You could jokingly bicker with him, but when it came down to real disagreement, you never could with Luke. He just gave you those deep hazel eyes and you were melted on the floor. He was just that person for you. The one who could ask you to do anything under the sun and you'd do it for his praise.

You spent long nights with Luke, sitting in the backyard of one of your lake houses and watching the moon and stars and talking about anything. You could listen to Luke talk about property tax for hours and probably never get bored, that's how much you admired him.

bad was the blood of the song in the cab, on your first trip to L.A. you ate at my favorite spot for dinner.

You remember the weirdest instance of your bumping into each other, you were in Los Angeles with friends during the very beginning of winter break and saw Luke eating in the same restaurant as you with a couple of his friends.

You texted him, not believing what you were seeing. You asked him if he was in L.A. When he responded 'Yes just for a few days why' you were shocked. You stood and made your way across the noisy restaurant and went up to his table, where you put your hand on his shoulder and when he turned around, he was the most surprised he'd been in a long time.

You remember he jumped up, hugging you so tightly, pulling away with his jaw still dropped. You guys always told each other you had to stop meeting 'like this', but it never seemed to stop.

The next day, you two planned to branch out from your friends and meet up for lunch. You guys drove a little ways from Los Angeles, east into the country, and ate at the cutest restaurant that had a view of a lake. You two always found yourselves together by lakes.

bold was the waitress on our three year trip, getting lunches down by the lake. she said i looked like an american singer.

You remember how bold your waitress was at that restaurant, immediately boasting about how she thought you two were the cutest couple she'd ever seen. Your face was burning hot, trying not to have a breakdown in the middle of the restaurant. It got even worse when Luke didn't correct her and just said 'Thank you', instead.

That was the last time you saw Luke, you were hoping to see him very soon, though. It had been almost two weeks since the loss to the Canes, so it made sense for the boys to be arriving soon. You'd already seen Ellen and Jim a couple of nights on the back porch with your parents, but no 6'2 boys named Luke were to be seen.

time, mystical time. cutting me open then healing me fine. were there clues i didn't see?

You'd had two boyfriends in your life. One in your 8th-grade year and freshman year of high school, then one in your junior year of high school. You'd broken up with boyfriend #2 because you realized you compared him to Luke, every move he made, you compared to Luke. It made you feel terrible, but you were head over heels for another boy.

You and Luke had your senior sunrises on the same day during your senior years, and decided to skip them and drive to the lake to watch the sunrise together. Your moms were furious, but it was one of the best memories you had with him.

Your interest in each other was so painfully obvious that most of your and his family referred to you as his girl during the summer. 'Where's Luke's girl?', or 'We're just waiting for Moose's girl.' It was never when you two were in the same room, so your reactions were always priceless.

and isn't it just so pretty to think, all along there was some invisible string, tying you to me?

Your family was back from their afternoon boating escapade and you could hear them all bustling in. The second they walked in you heard your brother shout for you.

"Moosey's girl! Come down here!"

ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

You blushed madly, getting up from your bed and walking down the stairs with an annoyed look on your face. When you got to the bottom of the stairs you could see your sister-in-law slapping your brother across the back of his head, telling him to leave you alone.

"What do you want?"

You immediately went from annoyed to overjoyed when your almost two year old niece ran over to you, shouting out your name. You picked her up, giving her a kiss on her tubby cheek, embracing her sandy and salt water ridden love.

"We're going out to dinner in like, an hour and a half? Honestly just whenever we can get that little monster bathed and dressed."

You nodded but immediately jumped to defend your little best friend.

"This thing? This baby is an angel, aren't you?"

The little girl nodded, a sassy smile on her face as she tried to say 'angel, dada.' in her slurred toddler speech.

"See?"

Your brother gave you both a look, before springing into action to grab his baby, tickling all the giggles and sqeals out of her.

You talked and played for a little longer before getting ready to go. You quickly showered and dried your hair, putting on a little linen white summer dress, and your old pair of Birkenstocks. You drove with your brother and sister-in-law on the way to dinner, sitting next to your niece in the backseat.

a string that pulled me out of all the wrong arms, right into that dive bar.

You guys were seated immediately at the restaurant, you sat between your sister-in-law and dad at the table, just close enough to talk to your favorite niece.

The restaurant was a popular spot for locals and tourists near the lake. It had a big bar in the middle and lots of tables surrounding, it was loud, but not obnoxious, and very homey. You'd probably been there over a hundred times in your life.

You were watching a random golf tournament on one of the many TVs in the bar when your brother called out your name. You looked up and the look on his face was excitement and shock.

"Look who happened to show up!"

something wrapped up all of my past mistakes, in barbed wire. chains around my demons. wool to brave the seasons.

He pointed behind him, and your eyes followed the trail to the entrance, where you saw none other than Luke Hughes standing with his family, waiting to be seated. Your jaw dropped, and a smile came over you. You saw Quinn hit Luke and then point directly at you, and when your eyes met Luke's, you could've fainted. He was in khakis and a white polo and looked so handsome.

You stood up, mumbling something to your family before practically running over to the entrance, throwing your arms around Luke.

one single thread of gold tied me to you.

"Holy shit."

Luke had his arms wrapped around you so tightly, he was so surprised to see you. He knew he would have seen you tomorrow if not tonight but he still just missed you and was shocked.

"We have gotta stop meeting like this."

You giggled when you pulled away from him, as reluctant as you were on the inside. You quickly hugged the rest of his family, not without Jack whispering, 'hey Moose's girl' to you.

You pleaded with the bar staff to push more tables together so you could sit with the Hughes, and it didn't take much convincing, seeing they'd known you since you were 6.

You sat next to Luke after the readjustment for the new tables, now sitting between him and your niece, who had all but thrown a fit about how she wanted to sit by you, not her dad, which made you laugh in his face.

At some point, you'd taken the baby from her high chair and brought her into your lap. You and Luke were both in your little world with her, she was so cute and loving. You guys didn't notice how practically the whole table stared at you with knowing eyes, they all knew, everyone except for you two.

The food came, and the baby was back in her seat. You just talked and talked and talked to Luke. You'd last seen him in December, and there was just so much to say. You'd both had tons of stuff happen to you, his NHL career, your career, everything was so exciting to tell him about.

Luke was so heavily infatuated with you, it was funny. His brothers watched as he folded for you so easily, admiring every syllable that left your mouth, nodding like a man possessed. They mumbled to each other, making fun of their baby brother's obliviousness.

cold was the steel of my axe to grind, for the boys who broke my heart. now i send their babies presents.

At some point, dinner got a little bit boring so you pulled out your phone, and what popped up was the baby registry you were buying something off of for your ex-boyfriend's pregnant wife. It was funny, how everything boiled down. Luke saw the infant clothing on your phone and gave you a questionable look.

"'S there something you're not telling me?"

You looked up at him, then back to your phone, your eyes going wide at the insinuation.

"Oh my God, Luke, no! This is for Darren's soon to be born baby, with his wife.

"Darren? Like your ex boyfriend Darren?"

You nodded, laughing and explaining the whole thing to him. You'd somehow become friends with his now wife in your freshman year of college, her junior year, and with the way the world worked for you of course she was married to your ex-boyfriend.

The rest of the night was perfect, and ended with your whole family, minus your sleeping niece, in the Hughes' backyard around the fire pit. That night you ended up right back where you were in the picture on your nightstand, right in Luke's lap in your favorite Adirondack chair.

You spent the next week with the Hughes boys, specifically your Hughes boy. You drove the boat out on the lake, wake surfed, Luke even convinced you to go golfing, not that it took him very long because you would say yes to anything he asked.

gold were the color of the leaves, when i showed you centennial park.

You sat by Luke at the end of the dock while you two watched the very cloudy sunset. There was supposed to be rain soon, but it didn't mean the sunset wasn't still pretty. Your thighs were pressed together with how close you sat to each other, giving you both warmth in your chest.

Neither of you said anything, but you both felt something when you let your head rest on his shoulder.

"This is so pretty, Lukey. I missed this with you."

It wasn't much, but it was a way to say that you loved him without saying the real words. I missed watching the sunset with you, I've always loved you.

hell was the journey, but it brought me heaven.

"I missed you."

You closed your eyes, you just wanted to be with him, didn't matter where. You could be watching a sunset on the lake or climbing a mountain, if you were with Luke you were happy.

"Think it's gonna rain soon?"

You looked up at him when you asked, your head never leaving his shoulder. He looked down for a second, before looking out at the sky.

time, wondrous time. gave me the blues and then purple-pink skies.

"Probably, but let's just stay for a few more minutes, okay?"

"Okay."

You relaxed into him further. His arm went to your back, rubbing back and forth. It could probably be pouring down rain and you wouldn't even notice, not when you had Luke with you, like this, you were Moose's girl after all.

It started sprinkling, causing you to look back at Luke, waiting to see if he reacted. He didnt, so you just stayed. Rain never hurt anybody, you'd be the last person to ruin this moment complaining about rain.

This was so strange. It felt like you were stuck in time, the gentle rain made you feel encapsulated in the moment. You sat there, staring off at the sky, the sunset was not as clear now with the thick clouds rolling in, but the colors were still there. The rain kept on passing through, the drops gaining weight and speed.

Luke didn't mind the rain, but he didn't want you to feel like he was forcing you out here, so he shifted to stand, grabbing your hand.

"C'mon, you can't get sick during summer."

You sighed, letting him pull you to your feet. He didn't let go of your hand as he turned to pull you back to your house. You don't know what came over you, but the circumstances seemed perfect, you felt like you had to tell him. You pulled him to a stop, and he turned to look with a confused face.

"What's wrong?"

You looked from him to the ground, looking at your feet, the worn dock you'd run around on summer after summer, the lake you grew up swimming with him in. This place was so full of Luke, of you and Luke.

"I, I really like you Luke. Like literally since we were 12, and I, I just.."

You trailed off, looking anywhere but those eyes.

Luke was flabbergasted. That's the only word to describe how he felt. The girl he was in love with, just said she liked him since they were little. He just stared at her, not believing what he heard.

"Are you for real?"

You would've been embarrassed, had you not heard the pure hope in his voice. You nodded, feeling your face heat up. You covered your face with your hands self-consciously. If you could look at Luke's face, you would’ve seen how he was red all from his neck to his ears.

Luke gently grabbed your hands, pulling them away from your face, and replacing them with his own. He tilted your head back so you looked at him, staring at you for just a second before pulling you in, kissing you, finally.

and it's cool, baby, with me.

Holy shit. You were freaking out, you were probably gonna be jumping up and down whenever he decided to stop kissing you. He did pull away, after a long while, when the rain started pouring. The colors of the sunset had been drowned out by the thunderclouds but you two still felt all sunny on the inside.

There was a rumble in the far distance, while you stared at him, and him back at you. You couldn't contain your excitement, you felt like running a marathon.

"Oh my God."

Your hands went back to your face, and you literally jumped. Luke laughed as you surged with happiness. He felt the same way, his smile bigger and brighter than ever before.

You grabbed his hand, tugging him back to your house quickly. You were finally under the cover of your back porch, out of harm's way. You grabbed two towels from the outside cupboards and wrapped yourselves up, you dried your feet off before running up the stairs, Luke hot on your tail.

You two got upstairs and sat on your bathroom counter while you dried off. You talked quietly, giggling an awful lot.

Once you got dry enough, you led him to your bedroom. You grabbed one of his sweatshirts you had before going to take a pair of your brother's shorts, throwing them to Luke when you got back to your room.

"Here, go change so you don't get sick."

You noticed he had more than the stuff you'd just thrown at him in his hands, he had the picture that previously sat on your night stand.

and isn't it just so pretty to think,

"I like this picture, you have to send it to me, baby."

Baby? You could've died. You nodded, mumbling out an butchered agreement, gesturing for him to leave and get dressed again.

While he was gone, you changed into some sweatpants and another one of Luke's sweatshirts, one you'd had for almost two years. When Luke came back into your room, he'd noticed your sweatshirt immediately. It was from his travel team when he was 16, and it made him so happy.

all along there was some invisible string,

You smiled at him sweetly as he walked back over to you, grabbing your face and kissing you for the second time in the last thirty minutes. You got the same butterflies you'd had living inside you since you were a little girl. This boy had been living in your head since you'd known him, and he was finally yours after you'd been his girl for so many years.

tying you to me?

You both pulled away, wrapping each other in a hug. Luke rocked you two back and forth, leaving kisses on your head.

"I love you, Moosey."

"I love you."

ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh he-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

[vivwritesfics]

I need just the tip with hangman

Heed the warnings for this one - but at the same time I need this Hangman to rail me within an inch of my life lmao, I could write so much for these two

Warnings: smut, age gap, power imbalance, virginity taking, innocence kink, fingering, p in v

The Squad didn't know that Maverick had a daughter when that mission happened. No, they found out about his daughter after, when things were normal and Penny invited them all over for a barbecue in the garden.

Upon hearing that Maverick had a daughter and she was on her way, they all expected her to be Bradley's age or near enough.

They didn't expect her to be in her early twenties.

They didn't expect her to be a stunner.

Maybe it was the beers that gave Hangman such loose lipped. But he couldn't stop that 'holy shit' from slipping out. Who could blame him, though?

But then...

"Bradley!" She ran into Roosters arms and wrapped her own arms around his neck. Figures, Jake couldn't stop himself from thinking as he looked at them.

He didn't interact with her at that barbecue, but he was acutely aware that her eyes didn't leave him. After a few more drinks she whispered something in Bradley's are, something that had him standing up and saying 'No way!'

The next time Jake saw her was at the beach. She giggled, waved and batted her eyelashes at him before she ran back to her friends.

Jake couldn't take his eyes off of her if he wanted to. Everything she did, it was like she was putting on a show for him and only him.

But, even then, Jake didn't approach.

It was only when he found her at the hard deck. He didn't know she was there looking for him, the handsome aviator that her dad knew.

She sat alone, drinking as she waited for Jake to walk in. And, when she did, she was on her feet, standing beside him as he leant against the bar, ass sticking out.

Jake was sweating. Here was Mavericks daughter, pressing her ass against his dick.

"Hey, Hangman," she said as he turned towards him and wrapped her lips around the neck of her bottle, deep throating it.

Jake visibly gulped. His hands were on her hips ss he stared down at her and leaned forward. "Does this shit work on the boys your age?"

She shrugged her shoulders in such a sweetly, innocent way. "I wouldn't know," she said, breath hot on his ear.

Holy fuck, she was a Virgin.

There wasn't much that could restrain Hangman at that point. But Penny's eyes on him certainly did. He kept her near him thought, kept an eye on her while they drank.

And, at the end of the night, he took her back to his truck.

"Is your dad gonna kill me when I drop you home?" Jake asked when he began driving.

Her fingers danced up his thigh and she let out a hum. "Not if you take me back to yours ," she mused as she popped the button on his trousers.

How was Jake supposed to say no to that? He sucked in a breath as he went past her place, continuing on to his own. Her breath hitched when she realised, but Jake didn't notice.

Jake parked up outside of his place. He helped her out of the truck, but they didn't get further than that. No, Jake had her against the truck, lips bruising against her own.

She moaned against him, hands pulling at his hair. Jake threw his head back, a moan coming from the back of his throat. "Holy shit," he groaned as she attached her lips to his neck.

With her legs around his waist, Jake carried her into his house, with his hands under her ass, squeezing and kneeding at the flesh. He managed to open the door and dropped her on the bed.

But then his hands were on her thigh, pushing her skirt up. Suddenly, she was nervous under his pretty gaze. "Wait," she squeaked, grabbing his wrists.

Jake let out a breath as he looked at her. He moved his hand to her knee and moved his thumb from side to side. "What is it?"

"I-I've never done this before," she whispered, and Jakes eyes softened.

He leaned down and kissed her, softly this time. "I'll take care of you," he whispered against her lips.

She nodded. "I've got you, Bug," Jake whispered as his hand moved down from her knee. His fingertips brushed her thighs and touched her through her underwear.

"Holy fuck," she whispered.

Slowly, he pushed her underwear to the side. His rough fingertips were gentle against her clit, and every touch had her crying out for him. And, each noise she made was music to Jakes ears.

The way she writhed beneath him, Jake couldn't stop watching her. He kept his thumb pressed against her clit, his long fingers pushed inside. One at first, but even that had her gasping.

"Hangman," she cried, throwing her head against the arm of the sofa, back arching.

There was something about that, something about her calling him by his Callsign. It unlocked something animalistic in him. But he was still taking things slow and gentle.

As he worked her open, he freed himself from his trousers. She opened her eyes and looked down at him, looked down at where his hard on hit his stomach.

"Jake," she squeaked, and he stilled his fingers. "I-I don't think I can take that," she whispered.

He didn't mean to smirk, but he couldn't help himself. "Too big for you, Bug?" He whispered as he pulled his fingers out of her cunt. He placed them between his lips, tasting her, releasing a hum. "So sweet, Bug."

She whined beneath him, hips moving on their own.

"How about just the tip?" He asked almost sweetly, and she rapidly nodded her head.

Jake rolled the condom into his length. He stood before her and she reached down to wrap her fingers around him. It was such a pretty sight, one Jake didn't think he'd ever get enough of.

He eased himself forward, nestling the head of his cock between her folds. She let out a whine and grabbed his hand, squeezing as he eased himself forward.

"Just the tip," he reassured her, squeezing her hand.

The way she squeezed him, it was almost too much to handle. Jake pulled back and eased himself in again, this time a little further. Her breath caught in her throat and he pulled back again.

"Sorry, Bug. Just the tip, I know."

Jake couldn't wait to have her bent over the arm of the sofa, cock splitting her folds as he ravaged her.

[ackermai07]

hi there !! i hope you're having a great day so far ^^

i wanted to request the three musketeers (katsuki, izuku, shoto) that give prince/ss treatment to reader ! like the reader is just so tooth-rotting sweet that the boys can't help but treat reader that way ฅʕ◍·̀·́◍ʔฅ

you are so free to ignore this if its not up to your taste ^^ thank you in advance !! 💌🍰

girl you're crazy if you think this isn't up to my taste, you literally blessed me with this! Anyways I hope you have fun reading, enjoy!

𝗣𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴: Todoroki, Bakugou, Midoriya, fem!reader

𝗪𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴: headcanon, fluff!

Don't repost!

The one thing we all agree on.

He'll cook for you.

No one argues with this; he's literally your personal chef.

He'll always make sure you eat well, whether you're a big eater or not.

This damn guy will literally stuff your stomach and cook for you anytime.

You can wake him up even at 2 a.m., and he won't mind, like:

"Hey, Katsu... I'm feeling kinda hungry... so-"

"Shut up, I already know."

And boom, he'll get up to cook a delicious meal for you and make sure you go to sleep feeling full.

He also loves styling your hair, no matter the type.

Straight, wavy, curly, it doesn't matter.

Just tell him how you want your hair, and he'll do it professionally.

He does most of the chores for you, like cooking, washing dishes, doing laundry, etc.

He absolutely hates seeing you tired or exhausted; he sees himself strong enough to do everything.

"You weren't created for exhaustion, not even your beautiful ass deserves to be tired from sitting."

Another reason he always holds you in his arms when you're alone together.

He always brings snacks for you at school.

At the end of each class, he turns around to give you candy or chocolate to keep you energized.

(He completely refuses to admit he brought them for you, always saying he got them by chance.)

When you're sitting in the dorm with others, he lets you rest your head on his shoulder if you're tired.

He absolutely doesn't let you go downstairs; he always carries you bridal style while going down while you're in his arms.

His excuse is that you're too foolish and will definitely trip and fall and hurt yourself.

(He loves you dearly and worries about you like crazy.)

Did I mention he's your guard dog?

Wherever you are, he walks behind you and gives death glares to anyone who dares to stare at you.

He also makes sure every day that he's the first person to say good morning or goodnight to you, whether in person or through messages.

He's not a big person with words, but he makes sure to say "I love you" enough times because he knows it makes you happy.

Believe me, he's just there for your happiness (I would die for this man).

This boy is the epitome of sweetness.

He's not just a green flag, he's the whole forest.

One thing I'm sure of is that he'll take notes for you during classes.

Even if you've already taken your own notes, he doesn't mind.

He still brings your notebooks and edits your notes to make them look like his own.

If you ask him why he does this, he simply replies:

"Just to ensure our information is the same so we don't have any problems when we study together."

He just loves being the reason behind your intellectual growth and knowing that he's helping you.

Every night, literally every night, he braids your hair.

Because he simply read that braiding hair before bed helps keep it healthy.

(He loves touching your hair and smelling its scent.)

Speaking of nighttime, he takes you for walks at night when everyone else is asleep and lies on the grass to watch the sky just because you told him you love seeing the stars.

He's literally the kind of gentleman who lays his jacket over a puddle of water for you to walk on so you don't get wet.

He has a sixth sense about you, so for example, whenever something bad happens to you, he's already there to fix it.

He's 100% ready to defend you against anyone and doesn't feel embarrassed to stand up to them either.

He carries your bag for you on the way to school and back to the dorm, insisting on it even when you say it's okay.

He loves sharing his food with you; he always does.

No matter what it is, he always makes sure you take at least a bite of it.

"I don't taste the food's flavor until I share it with you."

He always keeps your hands intertwined and makes sure you're close to him, especially in crowds.

Every day, he makes sure to kiss you on the cheek and tell you how perfect you are, how lucky he is to have you, and how much he loves you.

This guy is literally like a character from books.

He has a top-notch degree in princess treatment.

He buys you anything you want, no matter what.

Even if it's a car plated with gold, he'll always fulfill your desires.

He flirts with you, but in poetic ways.

For example, he reads a love quote or a poem and makes sure to dedicate it to you.

Either he writes it for you on a paper and places it on your desk in your room before you wake up, or he whispers it in your ear just to drive you crazy.

He loves seeing you shy and flustered.

He also buys you books, a lot of them.

The reason for that is your talk about a story or a novel.

Be sure that by tomorrow he'll present you with the entire book series along with a red rose.

"Shoto! You didn't have to do that!"

"If my girl desires something, she gets it."

(Help me... I'm melting while writing this)

He lets you do anything to him literally.

Braiding his hair, putting makeup on him, dressing him up as you wish... etc.

Just say the word, and he's like, "Yes, ma'am"

(Once you put your daily makeup on him, and literally you cried because he looked more beautiful than you by miles.)

This man is literally carrying your bags when he takes you shopping.

And he doesn't complain; it gives him a sense that he's your strong man.

He also allows you to try makeup on the back of his hand.

(He's as pale as hell.)

He carries you on his back if you feel tired from walking.

Or in other words, if he feels it, which means he always carries you on his back.

So you won't tire from something as silly as walking.

He knows that everyone is looking at both of you, but does he care? Of course not.

(I feel like he's read "The Art of Indifference" at least 100 times.)

He's the kind of guy who allows you to wear anything you want.

You might come to him not sure about your clothes, and he simply shrugs in indifference.

"Wear whatever you want; I can fight."

(But not too revealing because you won't get away with it.)

One of his greatest features is that he uses his quirk to either warm you up or cool you down according to the weather.

He always gives you his jacket even without you asking because he knows that his scent calms you down and also ensures that you're warm.

Like the others, he makes sure you eat well and goes crazy if he knows you haven't.

(I think this is an Asian thing...)

This might seem gross, but on the contrary, it's not the case for him, but he allows you to spit out the food you didn't like on his hand.

He tells you to do it in the most poetic expression ever.

He hugs you a lot, first because he loves being close to you and secondly to stick his scent to you, so people can smell you and know that you're his

(he has a special scent so..)

(I've written a lot for him, I know, and I'm sorry, but I love him so much that I couldn't stop!!)

I hope you had fun reading! Please feel free to request more whenever you like!

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐄𝐧𝐝.

[crestapex]

“Simon!! I made some fo-“

Simon:

I just saw this piece of art by @temeyes. And just like the infamous Grug once said, “I have an idea!” Like, you don’t even know how quick I was to write this.💀 (I’d also like to imagine this as the aftermath after of my other post regarding big boy Simon.) (It also gets slightly, like the smallest amount ever, suggestive towards the end.)

Summary; SFW/SS—(0.9K Words): Simon is quick to disappear after a big dinner, so you set out on the search for him. Seriously, you live in a one story apartment, so how do you even manage to lose a man his size?

You cross your arms, humming to yourself as you steadily tap your foot on the living room’s hardwood flooring. Your eyes continue to scan everything, from the couch to behind the couch, again and again. You could’ve sworn Simon was right here, in this very flat, all but a few minutes ago—though it feels like you’ve been searching for that man for hours. It’s not like you heard the front door open and close, and it’s not like you heard the back door leading to the balcony open and close either. So where in the bloody hell could he be?

You huff in frustration, your arms dropping to your sides. And so you’re back on the move, trudging off down the narrow hallway. Maybe you should check in the office? Or maybe he would magically appear in the bedroom, probably having decided to nap the rest of the afternoon away? Or maybe you should try calling his name?… Wait, didn’t you already do all that?…

Ugh. And all you wanted to do was curl up on the couch and watch a movie with him. Perhaps spend the rest of the night indulging in some sweets you had just waiting to be eaten. Yet, here you are, searching for this beast of a man. Like a needle in a haystack, strangely enough. And true to the whole ‘Ghost’ persona, you supposed.

You brought your fingers up to the bridge of your nose as you passed the kitchen for the second time in a row. You closed your eyes, only for a split second to take a deep breath in. “Okay, Simon. Riley. Where the hell are you-”

Thud!

And another breath—well, gasp would be more like it—out as your foot proceeded to collide with something so firm, yet so soft.

Your hands went up quicker than the speed of light, one firmly planting itself on the wall and the other grasping for dear life onto the doorway. The doorway of the bathroom you would soon learn. The one fucking place you forgot to check.

But the sounds of hard thudding from your hands being slammed against the thick walls was also accompanied by a fairly familiar sound. The sound of a low growl, a grunt and some deep, incomprehensible mumbles. You would’ve assumed you accidentally hit a bear if you weren’t familiar with those sounds, honestly. Well, he may not be a bear, but he was nearly the size of one. So, close enough?

“Jesus Christ, Simon!” You shouted, moving your head downwards to finally come face to face with your ghostly lover. You steadied your stance, lifting your hands up and off the wall. You could only watch as he slightly curled up from the rather heavy hit he just took to his poor gut, but just for a second. Whoops. “…Seriously? This is where you’ve been?”

Simon groaned, obviously not being too happy with his little snooze being so aggressively interrupted. “Bloody hell, love. Are ‘ya tryin’ to mess up another rib?” Despite his obvious annoyance, you couldn’t help but be a little amused, especially with seeing him in such a vulnerable state.

There the beastly man lies, his shirt up to his chest, leaving just the very lower half of his pecks exposed. His large body planted firmly on the bathroom tiles, with any skin and flesh below the lower half of his stomach jutting out from the bathroom doorway. The vast majority of his belly rested firmly on the tiles, most definitely relishing in the refreshing coolness emitting from the bathroom floor. His muscular arms stay splayed out above his shoulders and head, his chin resting lazily on his tattooed forearm. And his eyes firmly held shut. Wow, what an absolute sight to behold.

Okay, so maybe you couldn’t help but feel slightly bad. Even though he was the one in the way and almost messed you up.

“Well, I’m sorry to interrupt your hibernation, but I just had a question for you.” You crossed your arms and raised a brow, a smile beginning to form on your face. You couldn’t help but snort and snicker, “You look like a walrus, by the way,” you threw in, still taking in the sight of a truly comfortable Simon in his natural habitat.

“Hm?” He hummed, moving his head to the side to rest on his forearm. Opening one eye just enough to where he could see you. Your eyes crinkled at the sight, as no matter how relaxed he looked, there would always be a hint of that signature Simon Riley grumpiness permanently etched on his brows.

You put your hands on your hips, continuing to look down at your beloved, “Anyways, I was just going to ask if you wanted to move to somewhere more comfortable, like the couch, and watch a movie with me.” You began to kneel down to his level, resting an arm on your thigh and bringing the other to rest on the side of Simon’s tummy, giving him a few light pats, “There’s also dessert waiting if you think you can fit anything else in there.” You just couldn’t stop yourself from lightly chuckling as you began to soothingly run your nails down his side.

A deep, chesty rumble was soon emitted from Simon in response, the sound of pure satisfaction you’ve come to learn. You watched with a raised brow as he began to leisurely flip himself over and onto his back. He then brought his arms down from above his head, one hand moving to rest on his chest and the other placing itself firmly on your thigh.

“Mm’. Dessert, yeah?… Is it you?” He lowly chuckled, licking the very edge of his lips as his eyes narrowed with anticipation. His large hand beginning to gently caress the area. Cheeky bastard.

[huexuri]

i have a thought! soob sending u a whimper audio or a lewd ass clip of him playing w himself bc he's so desperate for u to come back lol

yes omgeeee anon u are so smart !!!! i was thinking of something like this earlier but this seems like a better idea😭 also u are my first ask THANK UUUUUYYYUUUU

⋆ please come home (switch!soobin x switch!reader)

NSFW, MDNI!

(warnings: soob is switch(very sub lean) in this, reader is switch(dom lean), fem!reader, protective!soob, bratty!soob, degrading, masturbating, whimpering, sexting, dry humping, pet names: [good boy, baby, slut] thigh humping, tell me if there's more!)

note: ive been dying to get a request like this omg what a way to start the new year (HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERUONE)

"soob," you sighed.

you'd only be going out for a few hours to a party that one of your girlfriends practically begged you to go to, and since you haven't met her since the pandemic, of course you agreed to go. yet when soobin said himself that he absolutely didn't mind yesterday night, it didn't occur to you that 5 minutes before you head out, he'd be holding on to your arm asking who's gonna be there, where are you off to, etc. maybe it's just one of his protective traits, but you two agreed on this, so you weren't sure why he was so protective of you now.

"just promise you're not gonna go and let other guys hit on you okay? you know you get tipsy so easily right? i'm not saying i don't trust you at all ... i just don't want other guys to look at you! because you're so pretty in this dress... but only my eyes are allowed on you right? just don't go ar—"

"soobin!! i won't drink or anything okay? don't worry about me so much, just send me a message when you feel lonely okay? i'll talk to you on the phone if you need to. it's gonna be fine, soob.." you cut his words off, gave him a peck on the lips, smiled at him with reassurance and waved him a goodbye before he smiled back at you hesitantly.

"bye!! be safe!!!" was what soobin yelled as you were about to shut the front door, and all you could respond with was a louder "mhm!!!!" followed by the door flying shut.

an hour later, and you're sitting at the bar gossipping with all of your girlfriends. other than that, they constantly persuade you to drink. but knowing you, after one shot you go all red... which, sipping your iced water you decline their offer... over and over and over again. they just won't stop bugging you!!!,, so, you excuse yourself to the bathroom just to text your beloved.

sneaking yourself into a stall, you open your chat box to realize you'd left him on delivered for an hour ... "damn," you muttered to yourself, feeling bad that you possibly left him worried, but only 2 unread messages greet you with : "i miss you already!!:(" followed by a 2 minute long voice note.

you immediately plug in your earphones, ready to listen to whatever song he wanted to sing or whatever gossip he had to tell you.

"haa... miss you s-so bad.... mmh... come home pretty please?—a-ah fuck....."

immediately your eyes widened at the lewd sounds he made, you paused the voice note with a look on your face as if you just got caught commiting a crime. it caught you SO off guard, that was the thing you least expected ...., he knew you had a thing for his moans. in fact, it was one of your major turn-ons.. but soobin was never a vocal person in bed, he'd deny it even. if he made any sounds, he'd get flustered immediately. he thought it made him seem too feminine, so he never believed you when you said you liked it.

was this really him? you thought to yourself..

your finger hesitantly pressed the resume button on your screen.

"f-fuck, baby.. i'm c-cumming, aah,, you like it? come... c-come back for it.. ss—shit !!.."

2 minutes in, the audio coming to an end, you felt your thighs squeeze against each other, you felt your walls clench around nothing. my god, he sounded heavenly. you could hear the squelches of him stroking himself up and down, you could practically hear his pace fasten as his breaths became more irregular and his moans slowly increase in volume. you could literally tell when he busted all over himself. and oh, you did not know how much this aroused you until today.

screw this party, screw the drinks. he SO knew how to get you to come back home.

"i'm coming." you simply sent him, then you get ready to leave. after you left the stall, with a "sorry everyone, i have to go back, it's urgent.", you hastily left the party.

you practically bust the door open when you reach back to your apartment, panting as you see soobin lying on the couch scrolling away on his phone as if he didn't just get you leaking out of your panties. this son of a bitch, seriously.... teasing like that and acting like nothing happened??

"oh hey! you're finally back!! i missed you~" soobin happily exclaimed as got off the couch and walked up to you to give you a peck.

when you don't reply, he has the audacity to ask you what's wrong. towering over you, he still acts cute and ignorant until you nudge him against the door as it flings shut. your knees are in between his slightly bent legs and immediately you shove your lips into his, cupping his face as your tongues fight for dominance. your free hand reaches down to his bulge to stroke it through his pants. he moans into your mouth and oh my fucking god did it turn you on even more. how badly did you miss his beautiful voice? you could feel his erection start to fill in the space in your palm as it grew bigger and harder. pulling away from the kiss with both of you panting, soobin only pouts at you..

"what did i doooo? why so rough?" he looked at you with glistening, innocent eyes. not so innocent though, because he knew what he was fucking doing.

squeezing his clothed cock in response, he let out a soft moan at that. "soobin you fucking brat ... you KNOW what you're doing." you say in between breaths.

in a blink of an eye he'd flipped you over, now your back leaning the door with a soft thud, "brat, huh? say it again.." soobin responded, with a smug smile on his face.

when you don't respond but smash your lips back onto his, his dominant composure melts away into your kiss and he desperately grinds against your bare thighs. you rock your hips in response and his moan travels down your throat again. your hand wanders around, tugs on his waistband and sinks under, where now you feel the material of his boxers and his cock that twitches in your palm. your other hand runs up his shirt and tugs at his nipple, which he bucks his hips in response. he finally pulls away from the kiss, this time sloppier, and runs a finger though your hair. you took your hand off his boxers and your other hand out of his shirt, and placed them both on his shoulders.

"do you want it?" you muttered.

"i've been waiting for so long," soobin whispered, barely able to make out words.

"promise that you'll put those vocals to use?"

"y-yes."

now your hands leaving his shoulders and holding onto his wrist, you lead him to the sofa and pushed him onto his back.

"couldn't even wait until i came home, huh.." you muttered as you quickly unbuckled your tight leather dress. soobin only looked up at you with eager eyes when your dress fell off of your shoulders, exposing your body to the cold air. throwing the dress on the ground, you pull his pants down as well. just as he was going to take off his boxers you grabbed his wrist, and instead sunk down onto his hard on, the both of you clothed.

"but—"

"soobin, patience.."

you interlocked your fingers with his and started to grind down on him. his precum and your slick starts to seep through the cloth and soon you were sloppily humping him. he didn't lie when he said he was going to put those vocals to use, because as you rocked against him, he let out the most heavenly sounds you'd ever heard from him. those broken moans, only he could see how badly it turned you on. his fucked out face and his wet hair weren't helping either.

"i r-really want to cum ... p-please!—" soobin was only able to mumble between whimpers.

"not yet, hang in there..." you cupped his face, then thrusting a finger into his mouth. "take it like the good boy you are, and maybe i'll let you cum in me.."

soobin only nodded in response, his eyes squeezed shut as he sucked on your finger like his life depended on it — his saliva coating every surface of your finger.

"gooood boy... so needy just for me... huh? sent me a clip of you playing with yourself just so i can help you finish?"

his eyes fluttered open with the neediest look someone could ever look up at you from, in response to the pet name. you smiled at that and let him release your fingers. you pulled down your soaked panties and motioned him to do the same, he looked at you with a "really?" kind of look, and when you assured him, his cock immediately sprung out of his boxers— tip fiery red and shaft twitching like it's deprived of touch.

"do you wanna fuck me?" you said as you lied down on your back, looking down at him, looking like he's been desperate to fuck you.

"oh my god.." soobin panted.

soobin positioned himself in between your legs, his twitching cock against your aching cunt, he looked at you with a final confirmation.

"go ahead, baby."

with one full thrust he thrusted into you. unaware about his bigness, when you winced slightly in pain he was worried if he'd done anything. but since he was so desperate... you didn't want to ruin his moment, so you let him.

"s-soobin... fuck.."

"shit, baby.. you're so fucking— t-tight..."

eventually, your walls had moulded into the shape of him, and each thrust became less and less painful, more and more pleasurable. you were so focused on how good he felt when it caught you off guard that he started to play with your clit, long, veiny fingers flicking up and down on your swollen bud as he thrusted in and out of you at a controlled pace.

"fuck, fuck— when did you— get this g-good with your fingers... mmh..." you muttered.

soobin looked down at you with a satisfied smile and continued to rub circles on your clit,, soon his thrusts became sloppier, strings of saliva mixed with all sorts of other bodily fluids connecting soobin's body with yours...

"i'm—fuck, c-can i please!! please please... please let me c-cum.. mmh—!" soobin moaned, with obvious need in his voice, beads of tears welling up at his eyes, sweat dripping down his chest and soaking his shirt,,

"s-soobin... you can cum, baby ..... s-shit i—i'm—" your voice shakey, you could feel yourself reaching your climax. you fisted his shirt and pulled him closer to you, now chest to chest, you pulled him in a sloppy kiss, he moaned into you as you felt his warm seed fill you up to the brim.

you both stayed like this for a whole 5 minutes in silence. you thought he'd fallen asleep until..

"thank you.." soobin whispered.

"what?"

"thank you for coming back home."

"mm.."

"do you really like it when i'm vocal?"

"are you fucking serious, soobin?" you playfully smacked his back in a effort to hit him.

you could feel soobin grin against your ear.

"let's go get you cleaned up, pretty." soobin patted your head as he got off of you.

"hey, you too.." you weakly responded.

soobin could only giggle at that, and you scoffed.

[samheughanswife]

Sam

Sam was in his element. With friends, Steve and comfortable in the auditorium.

Refreshed from a week of sun,sand and sea. Add in off the socials grid. No random blondes in bikinis, or the gym blonde rats at the North Bondi open gym breathing the same sea air as him instantly given a nickname and assumed bumping curlies.

He shared that he had a session with the famous Bondi Beach lifeguards. He was encouraged to dive off the rocks at the South end of the beach- Bondi. He shared he had never dived in his life( sure that’s not true, just not into the Pacific Ocean) He was shown how to swim back to shore in a rip, ( that’s what drowns people not understanding how to get out of a rip). And generally living a beachside life. He joked that he didn’t sleep in the sand, he had a house (?? 👀).

Loves 🇦🇺. Not the snakes he revealed to an answer re the snakebite episode. Met all the famous animals. And shared that he felt the walk to the top of the bridge more now than when he did it eight years ago ( doubt that). Mentioned the bars he hit up and the restaurants.

A week well spent. As you all have seen he has the tan to show for it.

Two afternoons were lost to late summer thunderstorms. What did he do then?!

He answered the expected questions regarding the end of OL. He is ready to say goodbye. He has been in discussion regarding work. He wants to continue to travel after the S8 wrap.

Mentioned going to Everest and working on getting distribution in 🇦🇺 for SS. And other countries.

Shared a tidbit that when he went to the studio his “things” had been moved for a new younger cast. All tongue in cheek. Said he is looking for to BOMB.

This was a contented man. It was all easy conversation and engagement with just under 945 fans. The auditorium capacity is 945 and there were about 20 empty seats.

He did not bring up the spirits unless asked. He didn’t have a bottle on stage. That bag on the table was Steve’s- with a drink bottle in it and a place to put the discarded written questions. He was not selling his booze, he was riffing. Laughing and just being relaxed.

Asked about Caitriona ( got to say that the audience was a Sam only) and he discussed her getting prepped for directing. Said they had FT her the night before, all the guys and showed her what she was missing. He said how much they had shared and that really “ THEY WERE LIKE BROTHER AND SISTER” ✅ ✅. Crowd liked that.

He said that it will be difficult working away the final time. Very poignant. But he said he is ready.

The rest was the same questions and answers. The event organizers said there will be a USB to buy. So the rest will be there for those who will buy and then share here.

I’ve been told that on the soulless account comments have said that the guys were disheveled and looked unwashed. BULLSHIT. All their clothes were ironed( I am that woman who judges unironed clothes. Sam had ironed his T-shirt and pants. His hair was not oily. And his eau de parfum was that of a man who had showered early and had used deodorant. Those hollow jealous haters were truly reaching for something- anything.

I’m guessing that the Melbourne audience will be just as thrilled and appreciative of the chance to be in conversation with the OL lads. There is a song from one of my teenage favourite 🇦🇺 band Australian Crawl. It’s called The Boys Light Up. It’s the perfect song for the fun day yesterday. The boys did light up.

[acehoons]

dating the zerobaseone boys . . ?!

☆! ot8 x gn!reader. fluff. not requested.

a/n: i didn’t include yujin bc i’m not comfortable in writing about him in a romantic way, since we have quite an age gap. hope u guys understand.

% . . kim jiwoong

this guy’s the most protective boyfriend to exist ever

is big on physical touch as a love language

always have to have his hands on you

on your waist, holding your hand, even gripping your thigh sometimes??? this man istg

more under the cut.

loves taking you out in dates

is a big restaurant man

i feel like jiwoong likes “traditional” dating

like taking you out for dinner, paying for your meal, walking you back home

i mean you deserve the best treatment so

he’s also big on surprises

if he gave matthew a bouquet on his birthday, imagine what he would give YOU, his s/o

likes to listen to you talk

let’s you ramble about your day for hours

he doesn’t really mind it, even if you think you’re annoying him with your rants

his favorite past time is to listen to you so

can read you like a book as well

takes him 0.1 seconds to know if and when you’re upset

would always try to calm you down by holding you in his arms

hates seeing you cry too

he sees one tear fall from those pretty eyes and he’s already on his way to soothe you

“what’s wrong, are you okay? please don’t cry.”

overall he’s a big softie for ya

% . . zhang hao

zhanghao’s definitely the type of bf that just loves to annoy you

teases you to no end

he just loves to elicit reactions from u, i feel like

but really, he’s incredibly caring

won’t hesitate to pamper you at any given time

he even calls you his prince(ss)

especially when you get sick

boy!! this man is never gonna leave your side when you’re ill

always tries to make time for you as well

even if he’s super busy, he’ll clear his schedule somewhat

even if it’s just for 20 minutes

is big on updating you throughout the day

you’d receive texts from time to time, just zhanghao telling you about his day

“we’re on our way to the company” “gyuvin fell on the stairs and landed on his butt lol” “dw he’s fine”

calls you at the randomest hours of the day to check up on you

likes to make sure you both are aware of eo every day

because he’s afraid of you drifting apart

his favorite dates are the spontaneous ones

like eating in a diner at one random night or going out for a convenience store run at 2 am

will always be there for you

doesn’t matter what you need

a hug? a new bag? 15 million won? someone to help you hide the body?

he’s there to provide

% . . sung hanbin

hanbin is a bf and a mother combined into one

is never not coddling you

always makes sure you’re taking care of yourself

and if you aren’t, he will >:(((

big on words of affirmation!!

but i feel like he’s the type to try and hit all of the love languages as much as he can

but yours (and by proxy, his) favorite is words of affirmation

bc he never fails to praise you and tell you how proud he is of you

the first time he said reassured you, you cried like a baby

and he cradled you like one, too

is there to comfort you at the speed of lightning

whenever you tell him that you aren’t feeling well, his priority is to ensure that you feel better asap

makes sure that you’re prioritizing your health over everything

sends photos at random times of the day

“babe we’re in busan! wish u were with us rn :(“

the two of you aren’t big on going out

so date nights would be spent with just the two of you cuddling on the couch and watching a movie

although you end up falling asleep halfway through

he secretly loves it

takes photos of you when you’re asleep and sets it as his lockscreen

tries his best to make homecooked meals for you

but if not he’ll just end up ordering takeout for you

he just wants to make sure that you are always happy, healthy and fed

% . . seok matthew

now this man is the definition of a golden retriever bf

is the happiest when you guys are together

loves to take you out on dates!!

library and park dates are his favorites

just anything involving the two of you walking around together

is also a clingy baby

is immediately sad when you guys separate

spends most of his days thinking about what the two of you could do together

likes to listen to music with you

makes you lots of playlists to listen to

is also the type to facetime you for a period of time

when you’d be studying and he’d be practicing his vocals

likes to ask you for advice as well

he thinks you’re one of the smartest people he knows so, it makes sense

is fond of sending you photos of things he sees that reminds him of you

“babe look! this goat looks just like u ㅋㅋ“

teases you sometimes, but not as much

is also big on cuddling

boy if you guys sleep together.. good luck

expect this man to cling on to you so much

he’d almost be laying on top of you

likes to bury his face in your neck

this might sound weird, but he loves your scent so much

not your perfume, but your natural scent

it reminds him of home, almost

because at the end of the day, he always comes home to you

% . . kim taerae

another sunshine boyfriend

he’s just always so smiley when you’re around

likes to take buy you flowers and chocolates

you’d put one of the flowers behind your ear and he’d take a photo

later you’d see it as his lockscreen on literally every gadget that he has

likes singing to you

but also likes to hear you sing

even if you think that you aren’t good, he just likes your voice

sends you snippets of him singing whenever he can

is big on quality time and acts of service i think

whenever you go out on dates, expect this man to do everything for you

even if it’s just to tie your shoe or to ask for a napkin in a restaurant

you are a prince(ss) to him. period

likes playing with your fingers whenever you hold hands

he does it a lot, especially whenever he’s nervous

like before a performance

having your hand in his calms him down a lot

can also be a little protective of you

he’s okay with you wearing anything you want when you go out,

but expect him to wrap his arms around your waist whenever he notices someone staring at you outside

incredibly whiny when you won’t give him what he wants

“babyyyy, i need one more kiss, c’mon!”

i mean, who can resist this man???

% . . shen quanrui

make way for our young and rich tall and handsome charisma boss baby

this man is going to SPOIL you rotten

obvi buying you material things isn’t an issue

he’ll get you the most expensive things even when you complain

you need a new bag? he’ll get a louis vuitton. you need some clothes? there’s a chanel store near his place. you want some food? expect some gourmet takeout

he just wants to provide you the things you deserve, even if they are expensive

but ricky doesn’t just spoil you with material objects

he’s big on assurance as well

always making sure that the two of you don’t end up in any disagreements and misunderstandings

the thought of you worrying about him worries him

always asks your opinion on things, too

about his clothes, his singing, dancing, etc.

sometimes he uses that as a way to get you things

he’s send you a photo of a necklace one day and ask,

“baby, what do you think of this necklace?”

you’d say it’s pretty and boom, next day he’s bought it for you

if he’s big on giving you expensive gifts, he’s big on receiving handmade ones from you

he loves everything you make for him

handwritten letters, crotched stuff animals, everything

he keeps all of them in a box in his closet

and if you ever buy him any piece of clothing or jewelry

expect him to always be wearing it

because in a way, it makes him feel like he’s carrying you with him wherever he goes

% . . kim gyuvin

boy.. good luck

you just got yourself a bf and a baby all in one

i’m jk, but we all know gyuvin’s a (literal) giant baby

likes to be coddled by you most especially

acts just like a little kid when he’s with you

but that’s only because he feels comfortable being with you

loves to watch movies with you!

at home or at the cinema, doesn’t matter

buys you lots of snacks. like. tons

it’s his love language; to feed you

likes to go to fun little events with you, like music festivals or fiestas

this boy has a social battery as big as a truck, so prepare yourself

introduces you to his friends a lot

and invites you to their hang outs

you end up being a part of their friend group, almost

and everyone loves you because you take really good care of gyuvin

although you make sure not to mother him too much, sometimes you just can't help it

you end up buying him things he needs or calling him at noon to make sure he's eaten his lunch

in compensation, gyuvin likes to make sure that you are always happy

would be the type to say a random joke or to even embarrass himself in public just to see you smile

"babe, babe, what do you call a fake noodle? an im-pasta!!"

it gives you a headache sometimes but you genuinely love it about gyuvin

how he always prioritizes your happiness,

sometimes even above his own

% . . park gunwook

another giant baby, oh boy

but unlike gyuvin, gunwook doesn't require much care actually

you just give him few hugs and cuddles and he's good to go

requires a lot of attention from you. like. all the time

if you guys are separated expect to receive dozens of messages and facetime requests from this man

always wants to talk to you during his breaks or whenever he isn't busy

and he always has a story to tell you

he's a little clueless when it comes to dating, given how young he is

so most of your dates just end with either the two of you hanging out at home

or just a simple late night walk around town together

however, he does like shopping with you

he's not as "giving" as ricky, but he's definitely one to buy you a few expensive pieces here and there

especially if he sees a pretty bracelet or a nice pair of earrings

loves to surprise you with them

he's big on physical touch as a reward

it's his motivation

"ok so if i finish my chores i can cuddle with you? alright, got it"

boom he's washed the dishes and mopped the floor and cleaned his desk table all in under 20 minutes

physically relaxes whenever he's with you

like he'd be tense whenever he's out in public, always wary of everything he says and does

but when he's with you, it's like all of his worries wash away

he loves you so much

to him, you are his comfort

acehoons © 2023

[jungwnies]

☆*:・ﾟenha birthday special

syn ' how they treat you on your birthday pairing ' bf!enhypen x gn!reader

author's note ' since it's sunoo's birthday month as well as mine i thought i would do a cute birthday special :)

word count ' 1.15k

이희승 ' lee heeseung

he would be the one to do something so intimate

he doesn't really get a lot of time with you considering their recent comeback

but today he is dedicated to treat you well

either cooks breakfast or has breakfast ordered so when you wake up you can eat immediately

takes you out for lunch

takes you out shopping

literally treats you like a prince(ss)

buys you a very sentimental gift tbh, like a promise ring or necklace and makes you swear to never take it off

when you get back from lunch the boys pop out of no where as well as some of your friends and surprise you :(

heeseung took you out because he wanted to throw you a surprise party and let's say you were definitely surprised

you weren't expecting a party, but when you saw everyone your heart felt warm

(rest underneath the cut)

박종성 ' park jay

kind of similar to hee

very intimate day but lowkey you guys just stay in

he doesn't want to go out

he makes you breakfast in bed, has your favorite movies

literally greets you in the morning with a bouquet of roses or your favorite chocolates

its like valentines day but your birthday

maybe a little more than a kiss in the morning, if you're thinking what i'm thinking hehe

makes you dinner and makes you dress up because he sets up candle lights

dims the room

and then pulls out his gift

which is probably so expensive, and definitely has your birthday carved into it

just a sweet and intimate day with the two of you guys since he feels like he never gets time alone with you :c

심재윤 ' sim jake

greets you in the morning with flowers & your gift

it's definitely a necklace, he loves the way they hang from your neck ;)

tells you to get ready so he can take you out for breakfast and lunch

literally has a whole bucket list for your birthday filled with things you told him you wanted to do over the past few months

he takes you everywhere

the amusement park, the han river, a Photo Booth, an aquarium, a cat/dog cafe, literally you name it and he's taking you there

you were confused why you were at the hybe building as the last stop

but when you walk in literally all your friends, family, and enhypen including some staff you've made friends with over the years of you dating jake jump out and surprise you

why does this lowkey make you wanna cry though? like why is jake so sweet

and then gives you another gift

a promise ring because he swears he will always be by your side no matter what

literally tells you happy birthday and tells you he will be at every birthday for you even if he's out of the country

he will come back just for you :(

ugh i love him fr !!!

박성훈 ' park sunghoon

literally doesn't know what to do so he asks for help

he thinks surprise parties are stupid tbh

he wakes you up in the morning with breakfast in bed though

tells you he loves you all the time

he takes you out to eat and takes you shopping

he literally takes you into a helicopter just he can show you around all of south korea lOL

will literally buy anything if you ask

he sees you eyeing something? it's already in the car

he feels bad for not throwing you a party but honestly who even has time for that 🙄

takes you out to one of your favorite places to eat, literally rented the place out just for the two of you guys

makes it all cute and romantic (jay told him to do this!)

pulls out a necklace and apologizes if you didn't enjoy your day which lowkey makes you sad

you did enjoy your day!

promises next year will be better, but nothing will top the night the both of you had together 😉

김선우 ' kim sunoo

omg he plans the cutest day ever for you

wakes you up with literally a dozen gifts

jewelry, clothes, plushies, just all of your favorite things

makes breakfast for two

it didn't turn out the best but the effort was there and that's all that matters

asks you what you want to do today because he something planned for you later

and he takes you out to wherever you told him

literally so much fun whenever you're with sunoo it's really unbelievable

surprise party at the end of the day at a really cute barnhouse

all your friends and family and enhance are there to surprise you

literally themes it after your favorite things

literally makes you want to cry

양정원 ' yang jungwon

PLEASE HE'S SO CUTE

wakes you up face to face with him

he's doing his bling bling eyes and he's like "happy birthday jagi"

UGHHHH sick to my stomach because he's so cute

when you get up from bed tell me why enhypen jump out behind the couches and yell scaring you but also greeting you good morning and happy birthday

surprise breakfast party :c

because he wants to spend the rest of the day until night time just alone with you

takes you out and around showing you everything and buying you whatever your eyes land on tbh

ends the night with snacks and your favorite movie

and then he pulls out the gift he bought you

which makes you want to cry because it's so

ITS SO SENTIMENTAL UGH

screaming crying and throwing up over this

waits for you to fall asleep before you do and then wishes you happy birthday one more time right before it hits 12am

😭

西村 力 ' nishimura riki

so sneaky serious mastermind

literally pretends to forget it's your birthday

LITERALLY DOESN'T SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY FOR THE WHOLE DAY AND IT MAKES YOU KINDA MAD

you ignore him and he feels bad but he's gotta go through with his plan

it's around night time now like 9pm and riki is like "let's go out"

and you're like okay maybe, maybe he's just been waiting

he takes you to one of your favorite restaurants, but why was it dark inside?

when you walk inside every shouts happy birthday and riki kisses you and apologizes

literally looks at you with such sincerity and he's like "i'm sorry babe, but if i didn't ignore your birthday i would've spilled"

pulls out a gift from the inside of his pocket and hands it to you

literally the prettiest necklace /or bracelet

literally took like like 2 months to pick it because he couldn't decide which one you'd like more

ends the way with the two of you guys in bed watching your favorite movies

being cuddled up with riki >>>

2022 © jungwnies thanks for reading - reblogs, comments, and likes are appreciated!

[lucifertoxics]

give me butterflies | viscount tewkesbury

pairing: tewkesbury x reader | genre: friends to lovers | warnings: no warnings <3 | word count: 1.4k | aura's note: just a cute tewkesbury ff because who wouldn't want to have him as their boyfriend, so enjoy :)

[ BACK TO MASTERLIST ]

The evening was lovely. It was one of those summers nights when you lose track of time. Young people dressed up for occasion, were dancing to the rhythm of the classical orchestra.

As you were making your way through the crowd, a hand grabbed your arm to drag you away from the ballroom. That's when you immediately recognized your childhood friend.

"Long time no see. You have grown. I can't help but wonder, are you still such a poor dancer?" Tewkesbury said warmly, putting on a gentle smile.

"Tew! What are you doing here?" You said surprised to see him there, as you hugged him tight, wrapping your hands around his neck.

His hand moved to the small of your back and hugged you warmly, his lips curling into a teasing smile. "I couldn't bear miss this party. I was hoping to run into you again. Oh, how i missed our conversations." He looked at you with an amused expression. "I'm sure most of the gentleman in line to have the honors of dancing with you must envy me right now."

"You can be sure of that." You smiled looking at him. " But i'll be more delighted to dance with you more than any other gentlemen."

Tewkesbury chuckled, enjoying the soft way you were teasing him. As the orchestra was striking the first chords for the next dance, he took your hand and led you to the dance floor. "You look beautiful tonight, by the way. This shade of violet is very becoming on your skin."

"Thank you." You said blushing as you looked at him. "You don't look too bad yourself, black always suited you."

Tewkesbury laughed, appreciating the praise of his attire. He danced graviously, his movements fluid and sensual, making the most out of every spin and step you took together. And, even with the crowded dance floor, he managed to catch your gaze from time to time while dancing, his gaze full of longing and tenderness. He finally broke the silence, his voice soft and flirtarious. "Tell me...have you missed me, by any chance?"

"Of course i've missed you, we haven't talked in a while!" You said smiling and looking at him as the two of you danced.

Tewkesbury'a grin widened as he heard your answer. "I'm relieved. I'd be furious if you tood me you haven't missed me!" He danced closer to you, his movements getting a bit more passionate and sensuous now, He leaned closer ss you two swayed together, his voice barely a whisper. "Tell me...should we make up for our lost time now?"

"That woukd be such a great idea." You smiled as you looked at him. He looked so handsome. The way his eyes glowed as he looked at you as if you were a precious jewel he had never seen before. The way he laughed at your teasing. You loved everything about this boy. "And how do you suggest we do that?"

"I was thinking we could find a quiet place in the garden, or maybe in one of the salons. You know to get some fresh air..." He paused, his words carrying a hidden meaning. "Or we could spend some time without all those people around us." His voice was full of tenderness and sensual desire; his eyes scanned your features for a few seconds before he asked. "Just...just the two of us?"

"Ever since i've known you, you have always liked flowers so i might suggest that we could go to the garden." You said in the same tone as his, still looking into his eyes.

"How sweet of you to remember my fondness for flowers." He tilted his head with a cheeky grin. "But i like how your mind works, a lovely place to start. Let's go to the garden then." He led you out into the warm summer night, passing through the elegant halls ans crossing the threshold of the garden. He walked beside you, his hands holding yours as you walked, his other hand on your waist. As the two of you were getting further away from the party, he pulled you closer to him.

You look at him surprised by his action. "So how have things changed while i was gone? Did you miss me that much?" You say pushing his shoulder playfully.

"It's safe to say i have." His fingers combed through your hair, taking time to appreciate the way your hair looked so soft ans shiny in the moonlight. "Did you miss me too?" He teased peacefully, pulling you closer ro him. "To you, i'm just the same boy you knew a long time ago, but...i've changed a lot since you last saw me, in more ways than one."

"And how did you change?" You said rearranging his tie still keeping eye contact. "Certainly you have much grater hair now." You said ruffling his hair.

Tewkesbury smiled at the way you were playing with his hair. "First...I grew a bit, i'm not that skinny kid you used to laugh at anymore. I got taller, more..grown." His hands moved away from your hair to your waist, his voice getting sexier as he continued. "Second...i'm not as innocent as i used to be. If i were to tell you what i've been up to in recent years, i'm sure you'd blushed, a lot."

"I heard about your recent adventures and courtings that have happened" You smiled looking at him. "Girls seem to be all over you, viscount" You said in a teasing voice wrapping your hands around his neck.

Tewkesbury chuckled, enjoying your playful teasing. "Courtings?" He asked in a sarcastic tone. "That sounds very fancy, if i may say so. I've had countless girls trying to get my attention, and yet...none of them ever made the cut, so to say. They didn't have that thing about them. They never caught my attention. He leaned closer to you, his voice becoming more romantic. "And what about you? Any special gentleman in your life?"

"Well there have been several of them that have tried to catch my attention, but no one in particular has managed to give me the butterflies i have been longing for." You explained yourself to him in a romantic voice, as what you have just told him also had a hidden message.

Tewkesbury grinned as the hidden message sunk in. "So you're looking for someone to give you butterflies, is this what you're trying to say?" His grip tightened around you, and his voice had dropped to an amorous whisper. "Someone that can make you feel something special, someone you would be eager to spend time with...and who amkea hours dissapear in the blink if an eye, is that correct?"

"Yes, that's exactly what i search in that someone." You said leaning in closer to him, playing a bit with the hair from the back of his head, focusing on his face.

Tewkesbury smiled as you played with his hair. "Then tell me, do i give you that feeling? Do i have it...the special something you've been looking for?" He caressed your cheek, his lips a few inches from yours, close enough for you to feel the heat of his breath on your skin.

"You've always had that, tew." You leaned into his touch, closing your eyes, enjoying the feeling.

Tewkesbury's grin widen as he heard your words and saw your action; he moved his other hand to the small of your back, his lips now just an inch away from your earlobe. His breath was warm, yet subtle enough to make you lean toward him. He spoke with a low voice, his words drippung with sensuality and desire. "I should have come to find you years ago..."

"You're here...and that's what matters." You said leaning in closer to him, your lips inches apart.

This time, it was Tewkesbury who leaned in, wanting to close the last gap between the two of you. He moved slowly, letting time pass before your lips finally touched. When it finally happened, your lips smashed together so naturally, as if they were made exactly for each other. Your tongues danced, as your hands caressed each other's back as you stood together in a passionate embrace. A moment later, he pulled away and looked at you intently. Your breaths were mixed and your hearts beat quickly in your chests

© LUCIFERTOXICS ⎯ do not translate, plagiarise or claim any of my works as your own.

[dixonsgirl93]

Daryl Dixon as a Dominant would include:

(Everything mentioned is consensual)

(Also slight no-apocalypse AU mentioned)

Daryl Dixon would be a soft Dom.

He’d claim to hate brats and their attitude but secretly enjoy their energy.

When he’d reach his limit of receiving bratty behaviour, he’d growl “enough” and grab your throat as a warning.

He’d be a dry asf texter, preferring to talk on FaceTime or talk in person.

His dominance would hardly show over text. So much so that you don’t take him seriously which you end up being punished for later.

He’s not too rough with you, disliking most sadomasochistic acts, except a light spanking.

Aftercare would be amazing, he’d hold you in his arms for hours after, tending to anywhere you’d got sore.

He’d have Dominant’s guilt, again because he hates hurting you but knowing you enjoy it and having you reassure him all the time, makes it easier on him.

During regular activities, he likes to make sure you’re fed and looked after, wordlessly handing you food and giving you a stern look when it seems like you refuse it.

If he’s not cuddled up with you at night, he likes to stay close by, not wanting to risk anything happening to you while you’re asleep.

He’d encourage you to communicate any and all of your needs, whether he can meet them or not.

You would be his prince(ss). No one would treat you better and despite the fact he has trouble communicating and opening up, being with you and encouraging you to do it, encourages himself to do it more. Which makes him a better partner.

He talks about you and your relationship as if you’ve been together forever, as if you’re already married. When other people talk about you as a couple, they often say you’re like an old married couple.

Which leads him to casually mentioning marriage one day, wanting to know your thoughts before he made any plans (although he had already started making a ring for you).

When sitting together alone or in a meeting, he’d always put his hand in yours or on your thigh, the physical sensation of you keeps his head collected. If you’re here, you’re safe.

One thing he would often do, which you saw as a punishment, would be to refuse you certain things unless you drank water e.g. coffee, alcohol, sex, kiss etc.

He talks you through it, in his deep, gravelly, sexy voice and he loves it more by your reactions to it, smirking smugly and riling you up.

He says “use your words, prince/ss. Tell me what you want and how you want it. There’s a good girl/boy.”

[hymnalbedo]

Cuddling with genshin impact boys in a cold night *ੈ✩‧₊˚ღ

Hello! it's my first time making a blog so please tell me if i missed something.Probably will make a part 2 i use the color red twice for Diluc and Kazuha and sfw ofcourse^^ Mention of:fluff,cuddling,kissing,(character's name) being clingy to the reader and pet names beloved,sweetheart,mylove etc. Ft.Albedo,Diluc,Tighnari,Childe,Kazuha,Venti,Scaramouche x gn! reader

Albedo

You haven't seen Albedo in a while since he was always on his lab working. Tonight was cold, it was freezing cold on his office. He was finishing an experiment that literally took him weeks. He was shaking because on how cold it was.

"Beloved? can i come in?" you said gently while knocking on his door. His eyes went wide in excitement. "Yes my love, come in please.." he said rushing to his chair and waiting for you to open the door. And when you did, he opens his arms as he waits for you to come and embrace him

"Aw.. my love wants some warm hugs yes?" you said before going to his arms. He kissed your forehead before speaking. "Oh my love, i missed you so much, i missed your hugs so much.." Albedo said before kissing your lips softly and gently. You kissed back and touches his cheeks that made him lean on the way you touch his cheeks.

"I bought a scarf only for you my beloved" you showed him the scarf which was in his favorite color. "Oh! you have the perfect timing!" Albedo said chuckling before letting you wrap the scarf around his neck. "Oh my! Bedo you looks so so cute!" you said that made Albedo hide his face on the crook of your neck.

"I'll help you finish this tomorrow my love." You said brushing your thumb at his cheeks. "You will do that? really?" Albedo said "Thank you so much my loveee!" Albedo said kissing your face that made you giggle. He puts his arms on your waist and his other hand grabs yours and kissed the back of it.

"It's getting pretty late my prince/ss let's go sleep yeah?" Albedo carried you and lays you in your shared-room he turns off the light before laying beside you. "Goodnight my pretty baby. I'll be here when you wake up." he kissed your forehead,cheeks and your lips before keeping you safe on his chest.

Diluc

He was walking home after he visits the Dawn Winery. He didn't knew it will be cold tonight and he didn't bring a jacket. "Ooh.. it's cold tonight.." he said bringing his hands on his sides. While you, you were waiting for Diluc at the door since you knew he didn't bring a jacket.

You saw him and he was a little bit far but you didn't care. You removed your jacket and runs to him. "Luc, here have my jacket oh.. my poor 'Luc.." you said worried as you wrapped the jacket around him before hugging him. He quickly hugs you back "I missed you love.. I'm sorry i've been away for days.." he said almost crying that made you laugh.

"Oh.. my poor baby, don't cry it's okay. Come here we will go home and i'll cuddle you, and i'll make us a tea you like that?" you ask while holding his hands. You don't really care on how cold his hands was you just want him to be warm. "You're so warm my love.." Diluc said nuzzling on your neck while you two walk.

"We're here 'Luc you can go inside i'll make us tea and i'll warm you up" You said before kissing his cheeks. After you make some tea, you sits beside him before letting him on your chest. "Mmm.. so soft and warm.." DIluc said that made you chuckle. He takes a sip on the tea you made before going back to your chest before falling into a deep slumber. You slowly kissed his forehead and joined his slumber.

Tighnari 

It was a cold and silent night. Tighnari was tired as a forest watcher, it was tiring from him. Tighnari was walking to your place but even though he wore a Jacket, it was still cold. He saw you from afar and immediately hugs you "I missed you my baby.. Please warm me up, i wanna be cozy.." Tighnari said while hugging you as his ears perked up. You giggled and touch and scratch his ears.

He got excited and kissed your cheeks. "Come with me Nari, let's go warm you up and cuddle" you said leading him to your place while holding his hands. The both of you sat down on your small couch that Tighnari loves to sit on. You light up the small bonfire in the middle and sat beside Tighnari.

"You know my love, you look beautiful tonight no, everynight. You look beautiful everynight" Tighnari said kissing your lips. After kissing you, he lays on your chest and slowly puts his arms on your waist. He kissed your forehead softly and smiles.

"My Nari, are you cozy now?" you asks holding his hands "Oh yes my love, i'm getting cozy here beside you" He said nuzzling on the crook of his neck. You scratch his ears slowly and gently to not startle him as he gradually fell asleep.

Childe

He came home running towards you and when he did, he was full of cuts and bruises that startles you. "O-oh my ginger boy, what's wrong?" you asks confused while running your fingers on his hair. "I missed you so much, and it's cold outside.." he said while burrying his head on your neck.

"Is that so my dear? let me clean your wounds and we can cuddle is it okay for you my love?" you said caressing his cheeks. "Oh yes as long as you give me a kiss first." Childe says pointing on his lips. You giggle and slowly kissed his lips.

"Mhm.. so soft and delicious.." he mumbles between the kiss. He pull back and let you clean his wounds. He was looking at you while you clean his wounds which made you flustered.

"Childe, please stop staring i can't focus.." you said hiding your tomato-like face that made the ginger boy chuckles. "Oh why not enjoy your beauty my love? you are so beautiful i can stare at you for hours." Childe said kissing your forehead.

"And, we're done. We can cuddle now!" you said opening your arms. Childe jumped on your arms and kissed your neck "I missed you, i missed you, i missed you.." Childe repeats the same words over and over while kissing you.

"I'm sure you are tired, sleep now with me my love." you said as Childe nods his head. You caress his cheeks before giving him one last kiss on the cheeks before falling asleep.

Kaedehara Kazuha

He watches the moon while he endures the cold wind that hits his body. He was thinking about how lucky he was finding someone like you as you brought joy to Kazuha's life and he is grateful to have met someone like you. A smile slowly went visible on his lips.

"Hello Zuhaaa!" you said smiling before sitting down beside him. "Oh hello there, cutie pie. How are you darling?" he said smiling as you lay down on his chest. "I'm doing good, how are you?" you reply as he kissed your forehead.

"I'm fine, but my day got better when I saw you under the moonlight, my love." he said smiling at you. "Aw really? i love you Kazuha, so so much.." you said before leaning in to kiss his lips.

He slowly kissed back and pulls away. "Your lips are so soft love.." Kazuha said before poking and squeezing your cheeks. "Ihhh! your cheeks are so soft.." Kazuha said kissing, Squeezing and poking your soft cheeks.

You let him do whatever he wants on your cheeks since you love him so much you are willing to do anything or everything for him. "Can i lay on your chest my love..?" you asks smiling which Kazuha can't and won't deny. "Ofcourse my sweet baby, how can i deny that cute face of you hm?" He kissed your forehead and laid down on the cold green grass while you were on his chest.

He puts an arm on his head to make it a pillow while looking at you. "You look so sweet, look at you all cute just for me.." Kazuha said smiling at you. "Do you wanna cuddle while watching the moon?" you asks nuzzling on the crook of his neck as he nods.

He was about to speak when he saw you asleep on his chest. "Aw.. my baby.. Your Zuha is always here for you my love, sleep well." He kissed your cheeks and lips slowly and gently to not disturb you before drifting to a deep slumber.

Venti

You were waiting for Venti to come home and was a little worried because it's late in the midnight and it was cold. The door slowly creaked and Venti came inside.

"Hello windblume! how are you?" Venti said hugging you and kissing your forehead. "I'm doing good, how are you darling?" you said still clinging at him. He didn't answers and carried you in a bridal-style. He stares at you,smiles before kissing your lips.

He gently puts you on the bed and hugs you. "I won't plan on letting go windblume, sorry." Venti said nuzzling on your chest. "Oh really? i don't mind my love." you said giggling before running your fingers on his back.

He looked at you before kissing your lips. the remaining taste of the dandelion wine that Venti drank, you could taste it while you both are kissing softly. Venti pulls back and smiles. "Your lips tastes so delicious.." Venti said touching your lips with his thumb.

"Do you want to rest my love?" Venti said while hugging you gently. He lays on top of you and starts kissing your neck, "Mhm.. yum" Venti said chuckling while he lays on top of you and nuzzles his face on the crook of your neck.

He kissed your forehead and smiles "My love, do you want to sleep now?" he asks and chuckles softly as you nod your head. He position himself on top of you and nuzzles on the crook of your neck before kissing it.

Scaramouche

It was freezing cold outside and the only warm place Scaramouche know is your place. He loves the smell of your small house, and the way you smiles when he response with an annoyed tone. He doesn't want to admit that he enjoys your warm hugs.

You were reading a book on the couch while your scented candle is lit when you heared someone knocking at your door. You quickly puts the book down and opens the door to see Scaramouche.

"Oh Scaramouche? what are you doing here-" you were cutted off when he suddenly hugs you. "Don't speak, warm me up please." he said closing the door before throwing your body and the couch and climbing on top of you.

He nuzzles his face on your neck and kissed it. "Mine,mine." Scaramouche said while kissing your neck. His eyes were closed as he hums. He grabbed your arms and puts it on his back before kissing your lips.

"Let us sleep now, Scara." you said kissing his forehead. "Okay." he said before kissing your lips. "Your lips are so soft and warm." he said before nuzzling on the crook of your neck. He slowly snakes his arms on your waist before pulling you closer to him.

"You are only mine,mine got it?" he said while looking at you. A grin slowly appears on his lips and when you nods. "I'm so sleepy, let us sleep yeah?" you said before planting a soft kiss on Scara's forehead as you both fall in a deep slumber.

YAY IT'S FINALLY DONEE!! it took me almost 7 days to finish this :( but it's okay as long as you guys enjoy it!

[kkami-writes]

devil's advocate — chapter six. cw. none wc. 778 + 12 SS

A week had passed surprisingly fast with the kids who had no immediate schedules, mostly dance practice to perfect a few routines for a few performance videos they were going to record soon. It was currently Friday night with all the boys home, spread out across the dorms and by the smell slowly wafting into your room, Minho was in the kitchen cooking. Which reminded you that you needed to ask the boy for some lessons. You had never been much of a cook before - only knowing how to cook a handful of things but it was definitely something you’d like to learn. If not just to give Minho a break from working hard all day only to come home and cook for a bunch of still growing boys. 

You were busy getting changed out of your work wear, slipping off your blouse and throwing it into your hamper. While yes, you could just magically change your clothes directly onto your body, you had figured it would be best if you got used to doing things the ‘normal’ way. If you had to pretend to be a human, you might as well get used to it. Letting out a sigh, you run a hand through your hair. It was certainly something you’d have to get used to. After all, it was still up in the air how long you were going to be stuck here. 

There’s a knock at your door but the person on the other side doesn’t even bother waiting for a response before walking into your room, not even aware that you were changing. The effect of living with 7 other boys you mused, them probably not used to the term privacy. You turn your head without moving your body to see Seungmin frozen in the doorway, his gaze glued to your naked back. He’s staring at your exposed skin, eyes trailing down your spine. You raise an eyebrow at him, surprised that he’s still standing there and hasn’t fled at the first sight of your half-naked body. 

It’s then you realize just exactly what he’s staring out, a more frustrated sigh escaping your lips. “Do you mind?” You question him with a more pointed stare. This seems to snap Seungmin out of his daze, now coming to terms that you are in fact, not wearing a shirt. He retreats, slamming the door in his wake. 

“Shit, sorry. I just- uh wanted to come let you know that dinner is ready,” 

“Ok. Can you give me a second? Let’s talk for a minute,” 

“...ok,” His voice is soft and slightly muffled behind the door. Quickly, you pull on some more comfortable clothes, hoping the boy hasn’t run away from the slightly awkward situation. When you come back to open the door he’s staring at the floor, looking very much like a puppy that’s just been scolded. Seungmin’s ears are tinted red and you can’t help but find him oddly adorable. Had you not felt a little bad, you might have teased him just a little. 

“Come in for a sec, yeah?” He does so, shuffling in and taking a seat by the desk. He doesn’t say anything nor does he look up at you, much too embarrassed to do so and instead waits for you to initiate the conversation. 

“So. I assume you saw them?” Seungmin nods his head, this time raising his gaze to you. “I’m not mad, it’s ok,”

“Um- How did..” His voice trails off again. “No sorry, I shouldn’t ask,” 

“It’s fine. I don’t mind telling you. Remember when I explained that I was a hybrid? Half demon, half succubus?” Seungmin nods. “I had avoided giving you a more proper term. It’s not that I was trying to hide it? I just, I don’t know.” You shrug. “Didn’t seem relevant. But since you’ve seen it, I’ll explain. I’m a fallen angel. What you saw are the scars from where my wings used to be. Before they ripped them off and threw my ass into hell”

Seungmin blinks at you and you can practically see the clogs in his brain trying to work. “Sorry, I know it might be a little too much to process. I’ll explain more later, ok? In the group chat. For now, let’s go eat, I’m sure you’re hungry,” 

You move to pat the boy on the shoulder, gesturing with your head for the two of you to join the rest of the boys. Seungmin sits there for a second, blinking and trying to process your words. In the end he can’t quite wrap his head around it so he moves, coming to join everyone else at dinner.

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[callm3-q]

Found a ss of Tubbo talking abt how he was 'speachless, much like Bad Boy Halo after his night with Cucurucho'

:D... Take this away from me pls... :'D