#squirrel was a last minute addition so she looks a lil off

[adridoot]

Do you think Jayfeather is lonely?

[daydreaming-jessi]

Henlo I am buzzing with energy, so I decided to go ahead a conclude the whole cliffhanger in the Beej and shoggoth au I left last time lmao. This is gonna be a monster I feel so um I’m so sorry

SO! one night Lydia and Beej were hanging out, watching horror movies. Delia and Charles went out on a date, and the maitlands were having a quiet night in up in the attic.

The cats were acting weird all day. Shoggoth kept walking the house, checking every window, barely stopping to eat. Azazel was actually keeping still, seeming to keep vigil in the sitting room seemingly, watching the wall that still had marks on it from months before. Circe seemed to be on edge, actually hissing at anyone that petted her out of nowhere, and patchie and Beef kept hiding under the sofa.

Lyds and Beej tried to walk them, but they weren’t having a good time. Beej was worried, but lyds suspected a mouse had gotten into the house or they’d seen a stray outside and tried to appease beej’s worries with Friday the thirteenth.

So the two were sitting on the couch cuddling under the knitted blanket barb had managed to make, making jokes at cheesy acting and props, eating popcorn and just having a good time all around.

Suddenly there’s a shout upstairs, and a series of bangs and shuffles. Lydia and Beej share a concerned look. Suddenly shoggoth let out a very haunting yowl and charges upstairs, with Azazel close after. Lyds and Beej decide they should investigate.

Up they went, to the attic, coming up to a chilling sight. Green light filled the attic, Adam and Barb were suspended in air, looking very similar to a sight seen months before.

“Barb, Adam!” Lydia cries, rushing forward. Beej remained at the stairs, frozen, as a familiar energy hits him, holding him frozen in place.

“You.”

Lydia turned to see a familiar sneer, familiar red glasses and pearls. Juno.

“I should’ve known it was you harboring these fugitives,” Juno sneered.

“How... how are you back?!”

“You think a simple sandworm can stop me? My son is an idiot, kid. They only stop ghosts, not millennia old demons that keep order of the netherworld.”

Barbara lets out a pained scream at that moment.

“Let them go! They didn’t do anything!” Lydia sounded hysterical now. When barb was being exorcised before, it didn’t sound half as painful as it does now. She got the feeling Beej had been holding the power of the exorcism back, months before.

“These ghosts are fugitives, punk. They should’ve gone to the netherworld the day they passed. No exceptions. If they wanted to be in the living world, they should’ve gotten a pass. But now they have to be punished,” Juno huffed. Both ghosts let out pained cries.

“No! Wait, please, you can’t! They-they didn’t know-“ Lydia tried.

“Oh please. They have the book. They knew they were breaking the rules.” Juno interrupted.

Lydia was panicking now, and she quickly sucked in a deep breath. “Beetlejuice!” She cried.

“Don’t bother.”

Lydia turned to see Beej standing rigid, frozen with his eyes rolled into the back of his head, hair black. A skeleton stood beside him, chattering and clicking.

“I should’ve known he’d stay around here, bumming off a bunch of breathers. He grows a spine for once and then doesn’t even try to take over. Why do I even keep him around?” Juno brushes past Lydia, moving to circle Beej, like patchie eyeing up a squirrel he’s about to pounce on.

“Why do I keep him around? After everything I’ve done for him, and he drives me to drink my sorrows away! I’ve given him all I could and he just disappoints me over and over again... I believe I’ve had enough. Keep those two in place. It’s time I start over with this mess,” Juno smiled, sending a chill down lydia’s spine.

“No!” Lydia cries, leaping forward to stop the demon. But Juno flicks her wrist, and Lydia freezes in place, lifting off the floor.

“Well well Lawrence. Do you remember that little curse I cooked up for you? Wasn’t there a little clause about your true name? What was it, Betelgeuse?”

The room becomes cold. The green light becomes mixed with black shadows. Lydia feels tears springing into the corner of her eyes without thought.

“Ah. Now I remember. Oh foul son o’ mine, never shall you be seen lest named times three. But, beware. Should your true name be uttered thrice, bid farewell to any life. Such a shame, isn’t it? You had such potential. But you wasted it all and wasted me away with them. Remember, everything I do, I do for you. Maybe now you’ll learn your lesson,” Juno hissed.

Lydia wants to scream, fight, do anything. Her family is about to vanish before her, and there’s nothing she can do. Charles and Delia weren’t here to help, barb and Adam were going to be gone, Beej was about to be gone, and who knows what Juno was going to do to lyds. I’m so sorry Dead Mom.....

“Betelgeuse. Betelgeuse. Betel-“

A yowl fills the air, and suddenly Juno has a face full of black fur, white slashing the air. Juno screams, and the skeleton is bowled over by four other balls of fur, scattering it’s bones across the attic floor. Adam and barb fall to their knees, gasping and sweaty. Beej gasps, stumbling back. Lydia crashes to the ground. She can hear the door opening downstairs, the panicked shouts of her parents starting to come closer.

“Argh! What a horrible little creature! Ah, Jesus! How on earth did it touch me.... ? what did you do Lawrence?” Juno stares down the panting green haired demon. Beej glares back, hair a mixture of white and red.

“Can’t handle a little cat scratch ma?” He growls.

The door slams open, Charles and Delia enters looking ready to fight. They see Juno, sees their family collapsed to the floor, shoggoth lay unmoving as her kids slowly move to protect her, and both are ready to act.

“Get away from our family!” Charles nearly roars. Juno looks unimpressed, and tries to flick her hand again. “Dad!” Lydia cries, but nothing happens. Juno’s eyes widen. She tries again. Again.

Adam and barb have managed to stand and pull Lydia up to her feet as well, standing close to the door outside, ready to run if need be.

“What did you do Lawrence?”

“What was that thing about names again, Mom? How they are powerful enough to control an entire being if you know it right? Well, I’ve learned a lot these past few months, more than I ever learned from you. And one of the things I learned is that cats are smarter than anyone I’ve ever met, and mom cats are a helluva lot better than you ever were,” Beej smiles, remembering all the rants Delia and lyds gave when they heard just how well Juno raised him.

A hellish growl fills the air. Juno looks back to see the black shag she threw standing up, a neon green eye zeroed in on her.

“Ma, meet shoggoth and her kids patchie, Azazel, Circe, and beef. They don’t like it when our family is disturbed.”

A rumble fills the room, a chorus of hellish growls echo through the air, and Juno screams.

“NoNONO! How could you do such a stupid thing?! How could you?! I’ve given everything, everything! You idiot, you awful bastard! NooooOOOOOOOOOO-“

Juno seems to crumble in on herself, her screams filling the air. Barb and Adam clutch Lydia tighter. Charles and Delia rush forward, and grab Beej, pulling him away from the shrieking demon slowly spewing out smoke that reeks of cigarettes. The ghosts hurry to them, everyone holding each other close.

Shoggoth throws her head back and yowls, and the roof cracks open like a maw, and black and white stripes descend.

“NO, NO MY POWER! NO, STOP! I CAN’T BE STOPPED LIKE THIS NO!”

A sandworm wraps Juno up tight, the roof closes, and Shoggoth stalks closer, shadow leaking behind her, and overtaking the room. It’s like all those times shoggoth lays on a sleeping face, blocking the world out.

Slowly the light comes back. The bones are gone, all that’s left of Juno is her red candy glasses.

Sandy is lounged around the attic, seeming to purr at the black lump in the middle of its coils.

“Shoggoth!”

Lydia and Beej rush forward, closely followed by the others.

The kittens are pacing worriedly, mewling and gently butting at their mother’s body. Beej reaches out, like he did three months ago, gently scooping up the giant, black cat and cradling her close to his body.

“Is she...?” Lydia feel liquid start to drip down her face, her throat aches, all she’s able to think is that despite everything she’s lost another person.

A small purr sounds off from beej’s arms.

“Oh thank god!” “Shoggoth!” “How is she?” “She okay??” “It’s ok, lil guys, Mom’s gonna be okay.”

The kind vet that checked up on shoggoth all those weeks ago, performs a late night home visit.

Shoggoth now has a limp that may not go away, her tail is even more crooked, but she’s purring and grooming everyone like she didn’t just eviscerate a millennias old demon. The kittens just can’t decide what to do with themselves. They’re cuddling their mom, they’re cuddling their humans, they’re play fighting with Sandy.

Speaking of...

Sandy refuses to leave. No matter how much Beej tries to cajole her, the sandworm shakes her head stubbornly. “You’re too smart for your own good!” Beej grouches. But he is scratching her chins.

Delia: How on earth is she gonna fit in this house?

Sandy: *shrinks herself down to a more typical snake size to better match her environment*

Delia: *exhasperatedly clutching a crystal now* well I guess this is just what the universe planned for us I guess!

Adam: *happy snake nerd noises*

Lydia now teases Charles for the whole “our family” thing for a minute, but then he’s like “lyds I knew the instant that demon showed back up in our house that we’d adopted a family of ghosts.” She just smiles and hugs him. He’s certainly not wrong.

So things return to normal, just with the addition of a garbage disposal of a snake slithering around, randomly picking a human or ghost or demon or cat to be a new perch. Sandy certainly doesn’t have a favorite perch. She loves all the Adams and non-Adams equally, what are you talking about?

She has her own heating rock she retires to every night that Adam built for her. No kitty dare bother her lounging time, except for shoggoth, because sandy’s a pushover for shoggoth. But then again, who isn’t?

And Beej? He can’t complain. He’s not invisible or alone anymore. His mom won’t bother him again as he recovers from her years of abuse, he is constantly inundated with the cutest lil kitties and snake, has a punking lil sister, pseudo parents, and a cute couple of ghosts that call him sweet. All because of a girl who lost her mom, a widower, a life coach, two white middle class ghosts, and a ragged black cat, all of whom that he loves freely, and dearly.

Oh, there is one thing that’s new. Beef learned how to turn on the stereo. And somehow, Jump in the Line plays every time. Yeah, Lydia knows for certain Dead Mom is proud of their new family. She loves it a lot too.

PHEW! That be it for that. I may draw things for this au more, especially since they now have a pet sandworm snake lol. I’m so glad so many people like this au, I love it a lot. All because i just thought to myself “what if Beej found a cat?” and just started tapping at my phone. It’s dumb and cute and probably tropey and a lil ooc, but hey. That’s the fun of fandom. Lemme know if you’re curious about something, I love chatting about this stuff

beetleb@bes, pls dni