#squealing and crying and sobbing ily thank you for reading

[peachsayshi]

I re-read your story -the way you love me- the other night (slightly drunk) while drinking wine and man have I man thoughts about your book.

I have fallen in love with the way you have written these characters and showcased Satoru’s willingness to slightly change (we love this) and idk I was re-reading your story and I just miss them and probably their dialogue.

Maybe I’m just speaking this as a lonely 26 year old who might relate to the reader after leaving a long term relationship (obviously who doesn’t wish for a Satoru in this case), but... your story has made me smile and attach to characters I didn’t think I could.

Btw please don’t take this as some form of pressure to update bc I understand that good, great things in your case take time, and I just wanted to express my gratitude as I have been sort of a ghost reader in terms of interacting.

Thank you so much peach and I definitely look forward to reading the next chapter (or even sneak peaks) throughout your process. It’s a privilege to be able to read your stuff💙

- 🍰 anon

(sneak peak for the next chapter below)

my dear 🍰.nonnie,

first off - thank so, so very much for taking the time to read my story. this kind of feedback means so much to me, I cannot even express my gratitude towards you right now.

❤️ I am so glad you love this story, and I promise another update will be on the way soon! the next chapter has been in the works, and I've been slowly going through and finishing/cleaning up the incomplete parts. .

my own personal loneliness actually inspired me to write this. I was going through a very tough time when I started writing the way you love me, and this story gave me a lot of good distraction and comfort even then ❤️ I see pieces of myself in there, so being able to make a connection with you guys also means a lot. I'm sending a big, big hug your way. changes like this are always tough to go through, but you'll get through it, I promise! I'm glad my story was able to make you smile, and bring you some comfort during this time

I really do appreciate your words, I cannot even express it enough in this reply. Of course, I would be more than happy to share a sneak peak! Here you go:

“I shouldn’t have…I shouldn’t have been so cold with you, I shouldn’t have…”  You curl your fingers around his uniform, clutching onto the fabric with the refusal to let go. “I was just… so mad. I didn’t even give you a chance…” you confess, the words spilling out of your throat and burrowing into his heart. “I was protecting myself because I didn’t….I didn’t want to get hurt again… because I can’t bare it a second time, especially if it’s you who breaks my heart…”  You feel his grip on your waist, a subtle clench the only response.  “I’m so happy you’re here,” you weep, “I missed you so much. I’m so-…I’m so sorry…I want to make things right. Please let me make things right…” 

[the-kr8tor]

KATYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!

I JUST READ CHAPTER 15 (SPOILER ALERT, SPOILER ALERT, SPOILER ALERT)

AAKSHYAHDINDUDHD THAT WAS A ROLLERCOASTER OF A RIDE. MY FRICKING HAPPY ENDING, AKANSHAJHSJD I LOVE YOU SO MUCH (RESPECTFULLY)

OMG OMG OMG I CRIED. I CRIED REAL TEARS. I CRIED REAL TEARS AND MY EYES ARE WET.

BUT THE ENDING AKAJAHVSISMKDKDJRJ I'M SOBBING WITH JOY AND SADNESS IT'S SO BITTERSWEET

THIS IS MY NEW ADDICTION. WHEN I SAW THE NOTIF I LITERALLY SCREAMED AND MY SISTER TOLD ME TO SHUT UP

AJWJAJJSJDJ GHOSTFLOWER/GWILES MADE ME SOB. AND HOBIE OMG I CAN'T ANYMORE I FEARED FOR HIS LIFE. And MIGUEL OMG I KNEW I COULDN'T HATE HIM THAT MUCH. Lyla my bae AND YURI UGHHHH I LOWKEY ADORE HER. I can't stop squealing and giggling and kicking my feet OMG omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg I'm gonna kms

STOPPPPPP CAPTAIN STACY????? GWEN'S FATHER???? THERE FOR HIS LITTLE GIRL??? I'M GONNA CRY I HOPE SHE RECOVERS. AND MILES' FRICKING REACTION I'M LITERALLY DYING OVER HERE

HOBIE ALMOST GETTING EXECUTED GOD SAVE ME I WANTED TO MURDER SOMEONE. OF COURSE HE'S GOING DOWN WITH SOME SNARKY LITTLE COMMENT LIKE THAT

And I wanted Mathias to be killed in the harshest, painfullest, bloodiest way possible omg you did not disappoint

That queen istg I hated HER GUTS

I am never getting over this fic. Y'know when u read a really really REALLY good book and you get book hangover and you google everything related to it and make Pinterest boards for it (i totally don't already have a board dedicated to ur fics)?? Yeah. That's what I'm gonna do. Literally drunk on this fic. I'm gonna end up writing unpublished fanfic about this fanfic. That's how obsessed I am. Like I need all sorts of stuff I need to see R and Hobie grow old and experience the world together I need to see the twins in the BDAS universe- OMG I NEED TO SEE BILLIE AND RAMONA AS PIRATES OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG

Honestly worth the wait, my heart is satisfied ❤😭

I think that just about covers it, if you've read this review all the way through I'm actually so happy 🥺😊

Literally crying real tears rn I can't believe it's over 🥹

Sending loads of love ❤🌾

BDAS SPOILER ⚠️

THANK YOU SO MUCH, ANGEL!!!!

HAHAHHAHA I got u all with the miguel fake out 😂 Yuri is wifey material ngl

Yeeesss captain stacy did a magician move and appeared from nowhere 😂 now they've got an actual adult on the ship

I always knew mathias needed a very painful death! I was debating whether he accidentally gets hanged ala tarzan villain or drowned in shallow waters but I'm still glad I went through with what I wrote bc r gave him a beating lol

ONG YOU HAVE A BOARD FOR THEM?! THANK YOU THAT'S SO CUTE 🥺

They deserve so much happiness 🥺 can you imagine the babies in bdas?!!! Oh Hobie would have his hands full with them onboard

Thank you!!! I cannot express how much I appreciate your love and your thoughts ILY ❤️❤️❤️

Lots of love to you, my love!!!!! (⁠｡⁠♡⁠‿⁠♡⁠｡⁠)

[joheun-saram]

Whenever, Wherever (jhs)

Summary- Hoseok is a time traveller but that’s not the strangest thing that has happened to him. The strangest thing is when he meets a girl he’s never seen and she tells him he’s her best friend.

word count- 6.7k

pairing- timetraveler!Hoseok x Reader 

rating- R

genre- angst, fluff, smut

warnings- car accident, mention of parental death, mention of miscarriage, major character death, description of gun shot wound (but not gory), explicit smut (unprotected lovey dovey sex), hoseok pukes a lot (soz babe ily)

a.n- Ahhh I finally finished my Secret Santa fic for @thebtswritersclub! I’m so excited to reveal that I’m indeed @baepsaetan‘s secret santa 🎅🏼Day did you guess I was your ss? Did you like me subtly asking you questions about this during our sprints? hehehe! Happy new year, love! 💕

For people who can guess, this was inspired by the Doctor, River relationship and is loosely based on the Time Traveller’s Wife (eventhough I straight up have never seen the movie and literally only read the wiki page 🥴)

A huge thank you to Bella @hobisbeautifulass​ for beta reading for me! I’m sorry I made you cry at work!

As always feedback appreciated, a reblog and a like goes a far way. Send me an ask! 💌

-

The day his mother passed away was when Hoseok discovered his gift. 

Stranded by himself in a large suburban park in the middle of the night, there was an eeriness surrounding the dark expanse of road. There were no cars, no streetlights, and no solace to be found on the edge of the wooded trail he stood before. His heart was still racing, adrenaline coursing through his veins as he remembered seeing the blinding lights of the trailer in front of him just moments ago, his mother’s voice ricocheting through his head. He didn’t understand how he got here, and how the loud honks and screeches of tires had fallen to give way to this deafening silence.In the distance, he hears footsteps. The crackle of crushed leaves echoing in the air as he sees a man with dark hair, dressed in a large black sweater and a pair of blue ripped jeans, step forward. In the eight years he had lived thus far he had never been as terrified. The man lifted his arm as if to reach out towards him, and Hoseok closed his eyes tight, wishing he could run away.

Before he knew what happened, he was lying in his bed under his warm, colorful duvet. He rubbed his eyes, his heart still pounding and feeling an overwhelming urge to vomit. He thought it was a dream till his father entered with a tear-streaked face to let him know about his mother’s fatal accident.

That was the first time he time traveled, but it wouldn’t be the last. He didn’t know why he could do it. He didn’t know how he could control it. All he knew was that he was drawn to certain places, certain times. It was never when he wanted, like the first time when he wished he could go back to a few hours and not be greedy for ice cream so his mother would not have to drive him. Or the time he wished he could go back to tell his grandmother he loved her. Or the time in university where he wished he had never got caught cheating and lost his scholarship.

For being a time-traveler Hoseok’s life was full of regrets but the one thing he would never regret was meeting her.

-----------

For most people time is linear. There is the past, the present, and the future. But for Hoseok, time is a tangled mess, a convoluted web of events that he can only watch unfold. Never having the power to control where he ends up, Hoseok felt helpless, like his life was a punchline for the universe. All through his life, he would wind up at weird places at weird times. He would never know how long he would be there before being zapped back to whenever he came from.

Hoseok was twenty-five, he was single, he was a music producer, but most of all, he was tired. Lately, his time jumps were too frequent, going from happening once a year or so to once every few weeks. He would find himself in odd places at odd times, sometimes it was a quaint suburban street at dawn, other times a posh private school at midnight. All to stay there for seconds before zapping in his bed, as usual, his entire day lost, nausea bitting at his throat.

“Hoseok? Oh my god! It’s really you!” The new barista at his favorite coffee shop squealed when he made it to the front of the line, jarring him from his thoughts as he aimlessly scrolled through his Instagram, trying to decipher if he missed out on anything important. He looked at her, dressed cutely in a yellow sundress with the establishment's blue and gold apron on her waist. Her hair was loose around her face, her smile brilliant, as she looked at him with excitement. She was beautiful and it took Hoseok a few moments to stop himself from his shameless ogling.

“I’m sorry, do we know each other?” he asked, confused. He would have remembered if he ever saw her. She looked pretty unforgettable. Maybe she was one of Yoongi's friends, although something tells him Yoongi would find her sunshine persona offputting.

“Yeah! You’re my best friend!” She pointed at him, as his mouth dropped. Okay, so she was crazy. Great...

“Uh…” Hoseok didn't really know how to answer that, so he decided to follow his gut and just ignore her comment. “I’m sorry. Can I just order?”

“Vanilla latte, no whip, half sugar coming right up!” She beamed as she wrote on the cup, leaving him dumbfounded.

“How did you…?”

“Told you! You’re my best friend!” She pranced away to make his drink, as he stood there confused. When she returned, she handed him a drink and Hoseok could do nothing more than smile half-heartedly as he walked away. Did he have a stalker?

He decided not to visit that coffee shop again. Better not give this crazy person any more ideas.

------------

Hoseok stood in someone's home, someone's living room, dark other than the moonlight that filtered through the windows. It was a modest room, resembling one of those he would see on television. In the center of the room, there was a bright yellow rug flanked on three sides by a couch set facing a television hooked to the wall above a fireplace. It seemed cozy, somewhere he would have liked to live.

He had no idea where he was and he cursed his gift once again. This was getting ridiculous. This was the first time he had appeared inside someone's home. He shook his head as he looked at the clock placed on one of the small tables next to the big couch.

3 am. Great. He was trespassing in the middle of the night.

He decided to escape before the owners caught wind of him. As he made his way towards the door, a family portrait caught his eye. It hung right next to the front door, framed by a beautiful gold frame.

His mouth dropped. It was him. He looked a little older, the lines next to his eyes a little deeper as he sat smiling on a grassy field, his arms around a beautiful woman in a yellow sundress holding a small infant wrapped in green blankets.

He felt his heartbeat pick up. He knew her. It was the random barista girl. The one who insisted she knew him. What the fuck?

Before Hoseok could spiral any further he heard a noise behind him. Turning he saw her, dressed in flannel pajamas, walking down the stairs. She looked around her mid-thirties, nothing like the chipper twenty-something he'd seen last week.

He stood there blinking at her as she came closer, awe on her features that quickly morphed into sorrow. She touched his face gently as if in disbelief that he was there as her eyes glistened in the moonlight.

"Hobi?" She spoke, her voice was hoarse as a tear slipped down her cheek. Hoseok didn't know why but he felt his heart lurch at her tears. He had no idea who she was but he felt this innate pull towards her. He wanted to hold her, wipe her tears, and most fucked up of all, he wanted to kiss her.

"I- who are you?" He asked softly, his hand coming to hold hers as if he couldn't help himself, leaning slightly into her touch.

"We haven't met yet?" Her voice was wet with tears as she sniffled, moving closer to him. She hugged him, wrapping her arms around him tightly as if to feel if he was really there. He stood silently as she squeezed him close, and wrapped his arms around her when she started sobbing into his chest. He held her tight as she cried, his eyes brimming with sympathetic tears.

"I missed you so much Hoseok," she said as she looked up at him. He had never seen a more beautiful woman in his life. Before he could think, he was leaning down to capture her lips with his own, his heart in his throat. She tasted like strawberries and mint, and he felt his head turn into a haze. Before he could deepen the kiss, he felt the familiar feeling in the pit of his stomach. He pulled apart as he saw her fade slowly, trying his hardest to hold on to her as she did the same.

All too soon, the familiar sight of his bedroom materialized as he stood there alone, her last words ringing in his head.

"No! Please! It's too soon!"

He didn't know when he started crying, but soon he was kneeling on his floor sobbing for a girl he didn't even know the name of.

-----------

Hoseok didn't know when he fell asleep, but he woke up on the floor of his bedroom, his face puffy and back sore. Without a second thought, he rose from his position, grabbed his keys, and bolted out of his apartment. He had to find her.

It took him six days to meet her again. Six days of anxiety, amped up from the coffees he chugged as he visited the coffee shop at different hours. He couldn't even describe her properly, every time he went to the cashier to tell them how she looked they gave him an odd look. Maybe it was because by the third day he looked like a deranged stalker, describing her height and her build to anyone who worked there. He was surprised they hadn't banned him yet.

On the sixth day, she waltzed in and sat across from him, not a care in the world. Her smile was wide, a juxtaposition to the sad, older version of her he was fixated on. She wore a polka-dotted dress which hitched up a little as she crossed her legs. Hoseok was speechless as he almost choked on his coffee.

"You told me to meet you earlier but honestly, I just wanted to annoy you a little." She giggled, her hand coming up to cover her mouth, her eyes lit with mirth, and the stress of finding her hit him like a ton of bricks. Hoseok jumped out of his seat, his arms around her shaking as he tried to control his breathing. His mind was fuzzy, he had no reason to react this way, but he couldn't help himself. He didn't know her but he missed her. His heart was beating a mile a minute as he held her tighter.

"What took you so long?" He asked his voice a little hoarse from not speaking all day, his breath coming out in puffs against her neck. She hummed a little apology as her hand reached his hair, stroking his scalp in a way that made him instantly relax. He melted into her, her sweet floral scent a balm to his anxious nerves.

"Do you even know my name yet?" She spoke, her voice light and airy, as he finally let go of her. He cleared his throat in embarrassment, the tips of his ears turning as red as the beanie atop his head. He settled back in his chair awkwardly staring at her, fiddling with the string of his sweatpants that laid on his thigh. He looked up at her smiling face, as she put her hand on top of his. "It's Y/N. It's nice to finally meet you, Hoseok."

Her words were simple but their effect was anything but. Hoseok felt like everything in his world made sense, that all those times he had puked after a shitty trip down the stitch of time was worth it. Her hand was so soft, skin so perfectly smooth as her thumb stroked his hand, that Hoseok had a hard time finding words to express how he was feeling.

He looked at her shyly, not knowing where his nerves were coming from, as he smiled, meeting her warm eyes.

"It's nice to finally meet you too, Y/N."

----------

Hoseok sighed in annoyance as he walked down the path of the familiar suburban neighborhood. The sun shone brightly, and all he wanted to do was to be zapped out of here so he could end up in bed next to his girlfriend. It had been barely thirty seconds since he saw her, her soft skin molded against his as she slept next to him, her hair tickling his nose as he spooned her. He missed her already. This wasn't fair. Why did he have to walk around this stupid cul-de-sac when he could be wrapped in her warmth?

Ever since the coffee shop, things with her had progressed extremely fast. He couldn't help himself. He never felt as close to someone as instantly before. Granted, he knew they were going to get married and have a beautiful child together, but that didn't mean he knew how fast he was going to fall for her.

The day he first learned her name, he couldn't wipe the giddy smile off his face. She was different than any other woman he had met. She was outgoing and optimistic, and brave. Much braver than him. While he stuttered to ask her for her number, she leaned across the table grabbed his phone, unlocking it as if by magic, and added her phone number in. While he wrote and rewrote eighteen different texts, pacing in his living room, she beat him to it with a casual "Stop overthinking, dummy. It's only me!"

How could he stop overthinking? It was her. His dream girl gift-wrapped and sent to him by fate. He never thought his gift would be good for anything, but she was here and all his previous suffering finally made sense.

As he walked along the sidewalk, biding his time, he approached a bus stop. It was cute, and definitely not from his decade. A janky blue bus stopped, and out she walked, making Hoseok miss his step and almost trip. She was dressed in a school uniform, a crisp white shirt with a plaid skirt, a cute flower-shaped backpack on her shoulders, and her hands full of college pamphlets. Hoseok couldn't help the smile that overtook his features. He wanted to run up to her but he realized even if she was his girlfriend now, it was still a crime to approach a minor. His gift was so stupid.

He stood there, averting his stare and looking at his shoes instead, as she walked closer to him. He promised himself not to be a creep and try to talk to her but her voice makes him break his resolve.

"Ew. Can you not get a hint? Get away from me, you creep!" she yelled and Hoseok's head snapped up. He felt his face flare with rage as he watched a kid around her age try to put his arm around her as she tried to shove him off. The kid was relentless, throwing cheesy pickup lines her way as she continuously rejected him. He wanted to beat that little shit to a pulp.

Clearing his throat, he approached the two. "Dude, she said no. Get off her," he spoke through gritted teeth.

"What's it to you, old man?" The boy rolled his eyes, his hand still wrapped around her as she pleaded at Hoseok with her eyes. Hoseok wasn't old! He wasn't even thirty yet! He hated this kid.

"It's not nice to forego consent, kid," he sneered, schooling his face into the coldest expression he could muster. It seemed to have worked because one look at Hoseok's face and the future sex offender had his hand to himself before he walked off with a huff. Hoseok glared at him as he disappeared in the opposite direction. Good riddance.

"Thank you so much!" Her voice was higher than it was now, a little spring to it that only comes from innocence as she looked at him with round eyes. "You're like my own personal superhero!"

Hoseok felt awkward. He never wanted to talk to her here. Running his hands through his hair, he smiled at her, throwing an awkward "Any time!" as he rushed away. The feeling in his gut was back and he had never been happier to want to throw up. The afternoon sun faded as he stood in his own room, blinded and running to where he knew his trash can was.

As he vomited into the plastic can, he felt a hand rub soothingly down his back. She handed him a water bottle when he sat up next to the bin, his head aching.

"Welcome back, babe. When did you go this time?" She giggled at her own joke. God, Hoseok loved that laugh.

----------

Hoseok was nervous. He hadn't been this nervous in a really long time. Surrounded by all his friends dressed in custom tuxedos, he fidgeted with his bowtie, and scrutinizing his reflection in the mirror he fixed the lapels of the blood-red jacket he was wearing. Who convinced him this gaudy suit was perfect for the occasion? Oh yeah, his bride.

Jung Hoseok thought he'd accomplish a lot of things by the time he was thirty-one. He thought he would have signed to a major label as an in-house producer (he did), he thought he would be living in a beautifully decorated apartment downtown (he does), he thought he would have a cute little dog to welcome him home (Mickey is adorable, in case you were wondering), but he never thought he would be waiting at the end of the aisle for someone who would want to share their life with him.

Ever since she came into his life, Hoseok felt like it was filled with sunshine. She brightened every aspect of it. The first time he kissed her, really kissed her, it felt like happiness was resonating through his entire skeleton - like she was the one thing missing in his world. The first time he told her he loved her he almost threw up from the nerves knotting in his stomach.

He promised himself he wouldn't cry, but he couldn't help himself as she walked in. She had foregone the usual white gown, quoting something about the patriarchy, as she walked towards him in a dress, equally as red as his suit.

Her smile was wide and he was in awe of her beauty. He sniffled through his vows and she winked at him through hers, a simple gesture that made him chuckle and relaxed the emotions brewing in him. She could always do that with the simplest of things, be it a touch or a look. He kissed her with passion as their friends and family cheered. He hoped she didn't mind how much he was blubbering. He promised himself he wouldn't cry.

Their wedding was one of the best moments of his entire life. Dancing to cheesy music, cheek to cheek, the couple in red stood out amongst others in black. Hoseok was so in love that he didn't even mind when at the end of the night he felt the familiar buzz in his ears. He was slightly upset that he abandoned his new wife on his wedding night, but is it abandonment when the hotel lobby fades into what he knows now is his future home?

He saw her there, sitting on the couch, a frown on her face as she seemingly stared into space, dressed in a set of comfy pajamas and he couldn't control himself. Whispering her name so as not to startle her, he moved towards her when she smiled up at him. Sitting next to her on the couch, he pulled her to him with a grin. She giggled as she settles herself on his lap, running her hands over his jacket, before soothingly scratching his scalp. Hoseok couldn't help but lean into her touch, a goofy grin on his face. He was sickeningly in love.

"If it isn't my handsome new husband. I've been waiting for my wedding night for years." She joked as she pulled his face to hers, kissing him deeply. Hoseok's heart lurched in his chest as a little whine escaped him. She isn't surprised in the least to see him there, and why would she be? In the past five years, Hoseok has visited so many different versions of her. In a way, it's part of how he fell in love with her. She may only be thirty-one to him, but he'd seen her at every stage of her life.

As she deepened their kiss, his hands went around her waist squeezing her tight as she ground on him gently. He remembers the different versions of her as he feels his blood rush through his body, each touch sparking electricity under his skin. He remembered when he first laid eyes on her in that small cafe, his nerves on their first date, her tears when he proposed, the first time he had her under him after she invited him for a movie. But he also remembered her at six playing in the sandbox in the park, sixteen and humming to pop songs while she walked home, thirty-six as she cried in his arms, seventy when she looked frayed and weak but still beautiful. He had seen all of her life, moments that he was lucky enough to be brought to more often as he fell more in love with her. He had visited her hundreds of times, and he couldn't wait to do that for the rest of his life.

He kissed down her neck, leaving little bites that he soothed with his tongue as she undressed him, his jacket somewhere on the floor, his shirt mostly buttoned. She moaned as he cupped her breasts, a beautifully airy noise that set his heart on fire.

Soon the two were breathless and naked as he hovered above her on the couch. She arched into him as he entered her, her little whines encouraging him. He latched his lips on her hard nipples, nipping them how he knows she loves. She fit him so perfectly, always so perfect for him. His wife, his soulmate, his Y/N.

"I love you, wife," he whispered and placed his forehead on hers, his hips thrusting into her heat, as he relished the connection between them. He kissed her deep, almost overwhelmed by how perfectly their lips slotted together. He could kiss her forever.

"I love you, husband," she whispered into his mouth, and his pace increased, a hand coming down to rub at her clit. She writhed under him as he pushes her off the edge. Her legs shaking around him, her heels poking into his back, as he savored the way her walls pulled him in. He was panting when he came, filling her up and babbling a chant of her name.

He pecked her face about a thousand times as they both laid on the couch boneless and giggling. When he, inevitably, ends up back on his bedroom floor, he saw her smirking at his naked body on the floor, dressed in his t-shirt, her hair still wet from her shower. She squatted next to him.

"And where is your suit?" she chided, her lips lifting, even when she tries to pretend she's mad.

"We'll get it back in a few years." Hoseok shrugged as he pulled her into a kiss, missing her body next to him already.

----------

The bar Hoseok sat at is loud, too loud for the conversation Yoongi keeps trying to have with him, and that's precisely why he chose it. Next to their table is a bachelorette party, a gaggle of women dressed in feather boas and plastic tiaras, sloshing drinks on themselves as they excitedly laugh. It's an odd contrast to the way he's feeling, the atmosphere on his own table somber.

"So what? You're going to leave your wife at home and get wasted here? Is that what you do now, Hobi?" Yoongi scolded his friend but Hoseok was already too far gone, having had a few bottles of beers before even inviting Yoongi out. He knew he was an asshole, he didn't need Yoongi to remind him, but he needed to escape.

His once happy marriage was becoming tumultuous, and, no it wasn't because they didn't love each other anymore, but quite the opposite. The past two years had really shown him that even if they were fighting and yelling, they still loved each other. Even when they were mad they crawled into bed together at the end of the day and held each other, not being able to sleep otherwise.

Their marriage started off great. There were cuddles in the kitchen, dance parties in the living room, vacations in Rome, and a night where they both sat next to each other on the floor by the bathroom holding hands as they waited with a little blue stick. They made love on that floor when it showed two lines, but that wasn't a surprise - Hoseok had seen his child in that photo the first time he kissed her.

The surprise was when she woke him up in the middle of the night, thirteen weeks into the pregnancy clutching her stomach, tears running down her face. He had never felt as scared as he did at that moment, breaking all the traffic laws he could get away with to get her to the emergency room. He held her hand through the ultrasound, through the exam where she winced, and through the doctor solemnly telling them they had had a miscarriage. He didn't let himself cry in front of her, always wanting to be brave, but he sobbed when she slept, knowing that he had a child but gaining little solace from the fact as he mourned.

The second time the two lines showed up, they were careful. He waited on her hand and foot, working from home, ensuring she got the proper nutrients. The result was another trip to the emergency room and another night of tears holding each other. By the fourth time, they stopped being surprised, just two zombies driving calmly to the hospital, before returning home. She went to the bedroom, while Hoseok drank himself into a stupor, before asking Yoongi to meet him here.

Hoseok knew he had a child, but he felt hopeless, drowning in the undercurrent of hurt and apathy. He loved his wife, loved her more than anything in the world but he couldn't bear to look at her tonight, couldn't bear to convince her once again that he had seen their child. Maybe they adopted he thought bitterly as he switched from beer to shots.

He walked home in a drunken haze despite Yoongi's worried insistence that he take a cab. Somewhere during his walk, he had started crying, tears painting his face and sending shivers down his body as they cooled in the evening chill. He wished he could fix it for her, she was always so brave, always so supportive of his stupid ideas and moods. Every time they had a fight, she was the first to apologize, a smile on her face as she cracked a joke and tickled him till all his worries were forgotten.

Drowning in self-pity, he barely noticed the buzz in his ears as he entered his house. Stumbling into the living room he saw her sitting on the couch with a cup of tea. He stared at her as he realized he was in the future, her hair greying, and her skin wrinkled. He didn't know how to react, but the tears returned as he rushed to her falling on his knees as he held onto her legs.

"I'm so sorry, baby. I'm so sorry." He apologized again and again. He didn't care that this version of her wasn't the one that needed to hear him, but he felt like a terrible husband, a terrible partner, as he kissed her knees. She stroked his hair and shushed him with a soft smile.

"What happened, Hobi?" she asked, her voice gentle, and he felt all his walls come down as he told her things he was sure already knew. He felt exhausted, every cell in his body aching. He laid on the couch, head in her lap as she listened to him, consoling him with the wisdom of a life lived.

After he had fallen silent, sober, and unable to convey any more emotions, she spoke.

"Hobi. You have to be nicer to yourself. You were the perfect husband. The perfect soulmate." Her words were meant to be soothing, but as soon as he heard them he felt like ice was running through his veins. He sat up immediately, looking at her with wide eyes.

"Were?"

"I shouldn't have said anything..." She looked guilty, hurt crossing across her features, as she ran her hands up and down his arms.

"No! Y/N... I die?" His voice was small, almost timid towards the end of the sentence, as he held her hands to ground himself.

"I'm sorry, baby." Her eyes glistened as she cupped one of his cheeks, looking at him sadly.

"When?"

"I'm not telling you. You'll go insane." She was firm in her resolution, her tone taking cadence that she always used with him when declaring the end of a conversation. But Hoseok couldn't help himself. He was going to die, he was going to leave her. He felt like his heart was going to beat out of his chest.

"I'm already going insane! You have to tell me. What if I can stop it? We can be together. I don't want to leave you!" He pleaded, his eyes wide in panic.

"Hobi... You've never left me. You visit so often." She spoke with a small smile, seemingly reminiscing.

"Please! Please or else I'll go every day knowing it's my last with you. I - I can't do that. Please." He was almost whining at his point and he didn't care how desperate he sounded. He just wanted to know how much time he had with her. He was so stupid, how could he leave to get drunk while she waited for him at home. He didn't deserve the way this version of her was looking at him with such love.

"I barely even remember when it happened." He knew she was lying, could see it from the way her gaze averted his. Hesitantly she continued. "I'll... I'll just tell you. It's the day after you see yourself for the first time."

"See myself?" He repeated, his brain running through his memories. He would have remembered if he saw himself. It would be hard to forget, but he came up empty, tears of frustration lining his eyes as he ran his hand through his hair.

"That's all you told me. That you saw yourself and you felt bad for not being able to give yourself advice."

"I won't ever leave you. I promise. I'll come back. As much as I can." He kissed her at that, repeatedly, her lips soft under his. She knew he couldn't control his ability, but she smiled at him anyway, agreeing with his promise, telling him she'll see him soon, even if she had no idea if that was true.

When he was transported back to his room, he couldn't help himself from heaving on the floor, the contents of his stomach painting the hardwood. As always, she rushed to him, wiping his tears and walking him to the bathroom. She helped him change, before cleaning up after him, despite his protests, as she glared at him every time he tried to sit up from the bed.

When she returned from putting the cleaning supplies away, she shut the door to their bedroom, and there, on the hook behind it, hung his wedding suit, the crimson a bright splash of color amongst the white. She followed his eyes, giggling a little.

"You already made up for being an ass, don't worry," she joked, fingers poking at his side to tickle him gently.

Hoseok had missed her laugh. Missed it so much. He cut her off before she could say anything else, whispering apologies against her lips. He was never going to leave her.

---------

He was in a park, the trees throwing looming shadows under the moonlight as he walked around. He recognized this park, it was the one near her childhood home. She had taken him there during their first Christmas together, and he still remembered the silly grin on her face as she showed him the sandbox where she used to spend all her days as a kid, making sandcastles. He smiled at the memory. It was the first time in a while that his time travels hadn't taken him straight to her and he missed not being able to see which part of her life he was visiting.

He walked about reminiscing about his day. It was his daughter's third birthday and he felt a little bad leaving his wife to clean up the mess. He couldn't believe Soojin was three already. He pulled out his phone, scrolling through photographs as he waltzed down memory lane. He smiled softly at the photo from the day she was born. She was so tiny then, her little, pink heart-shaped lips in a pout as she stretched, her eyes almost disappearing beneath her chubby cheeks.

He kept his eyes glued to his phone, looking at photo after photo. There was one of her covered in mushed peas and he remembered how long it took him to get the mess out of the living room rug. There was one of her dressed as spiderman who she had declared her favorite recently after watching the cartoon on Netflix, doing the signature web-shooting pose. There was one of holding on to her mom as she walked for the first time. Hoseok's heart felt full, and he couldn't wait to get back home.

He decided to keep up with the tradition of seeing his wife every time he skipped through time and started walking towards her house, deciding to take the shortcut she had shown him. Humming a little, he placed his hands in his pockets as he strolled along, thinking about the delicious cake he had custom ordered for the party. He could probably eat the whole thing. Would it taste as good after it's been in the fridge?

His musings came to a quick stop however as he looked into the distance, just at the exit of the wooded path. There, dressed in a yellow sweatshirt with a giant dog on the front and jeans that didn't quite reach the ankles, was an eight-year-old boy. He walked closer and his heart stopped as he saw himself for the first time. He was crying, sniffling in the air, and as Hoseok approached his younger self, he vanished into the air.

He felt the air leave his lungs as he stumbled in his steps, falling on to the ground.

"That's all you told me. That you saw yourself and you felt bad for not being able to give yourself advice."

No. It's too soon. He couldn't collect his thoughts as they rushed through his head barely leaving a trace. When he had that conversation four years ago he thought he had more time. Soojin was just three years old. He thought he would have years, that he would see graduations and intimidate boyfriends, and walk her down the aisle. It's too soon.

He could feel himself hyperventilating, his breaths short and his ears echoing with his heartbeat, as he tried to collect himself. He looked at his hands shaking in his lap and his eyes focused on his outfit. How could he have forgotten what the man in his memory was wearing? He put on these ripped jeans this morning, the same jeans that haunted him for the first sixteen years of his life. How could he have not realized that he was the creepy old man he had nightmares about as a kid?

Trying to control his breathing, he started to formulate a plan. He didn't want Y/N to know, he didn't want her to go through the emotions he was going through right now, because she would go through so much worse when he was gone. He sat in the park and let himself cry, hoping that he wouldn't have to leave soon because leaving meant saying goodbye and he was not ready yet. It's too soon.

---------

Hoseok awoke with a sinking feeling in his heart and a lump in his throat. It was the day he had been dreading since before he learned her name. He hated that he didn't have enough time. Enough time to hold her, enough time to watch his daughter grow up, enough time to build a bigger family.

He found the other side of the bed empty and standing up with a groan, he moved to the room next door. He stroked his daughter's cheek a tear spilling out his eye that he quickly wiped. Bending down, he kissed her little cheek, sniffing her calming scent.

"Daddy loves you, baby. Daddy will always love you. Please be good for your mommy okay?"

She only moved a little at his words, sighing before continuing to snooze. Hoseok ran his hands over his face, his heartbeat accelerating. He looked at the mirror in the corner and practiced his smile a few times. He had to be brave. He had to be brave for her, for both of them.

He walked into the kitchen, schooling his expression into one of bliss, as he saw her standing in her underwear and one of his t-shirts, and his heart felt hollow. He loved her so much. He hated that he had to leave this way, but that was his fate from the beginning, wasn't it? Their whole relationship, everything, started from and led to this moment. Padding over to her, he put his arms around her squeezing her tight, his chest molding perfectly to her back as it always did.

She giggled as she leaned into him, softly caressing his arms and making him nuzzle further into her neck. He took in her delicate scent and tried to control his breathing. He could not break.

"Someone's cuddly this morning," she commented, turning around with a grin.

"I just love you, that's all."

She cooed as he brought his lips to hers. What he intended to be a gently good morning kiss, turned into so much more as he lost control of his emotions. He kissed her like he would forget her taste, but it wasn't him who would be dwelling on this moment for years to come.

When the two broke apart, he cupped her cheek as he felt the familiar buzz in his ears.

"You know I love you more than anything in the world right?" He whispered before he started to see his kitchen fade away.

Her voice echoed as he was teleported into a dark room, momentarily blinded.

"Aww, I love you too, my Hobi!"

He fumbled around a little and then he heard it - a loud gunshot, shattering his eardrums. The sound hurt more than the sudden sharp pain in his chest, he thought, as he gasped for air, stumbling to the ground. The lights in the room turned on then and he saw the younger version of his father in law, demanding something, his voice inaudible.

She never told him details about this moment, but kind of fitting that it was in the hands of her father. He never did like Hoseok much anyway. His breaths felt shallow as he chuckled at the irony. Or was it justice? Karma? He didn't know. Nevermind, his chest hurt far more than his eardrums. Fuck, being shot is a bitch.

He felt the nauseous pull for the last time as he dropped into his bedroom. The last thing he saw was his wife  rushing over to him. Oh, she was so beautiful, he was so lucky she chose him.

For being a time-traveler Hoseok’s life was full of regrets but the one thing he would never regret was meeting her, even if that was the reason he lost her.

—

I hope you liked this super sad angst piece, for more fics of mine check out my masterlist

[johnnydora]

someone close to amy dies, jake (and maybe kids) do their best to get her through it. also sending hugs!!!

how did u know i think about this concept all the time?? also this ended up being the longest fic i’ve written in two years did u just cure my depression?? shoutout to @elsaclack for giving this a read thru ily!!!!

When Detective Peralta steps through the doors of the Brooklyn’s 61st precinct, he’s greeted with a smile. “Jake! It’s so lovely to see you again. She’s in a meeting right now, but I’ll let her know you’re here!”

“Thank you, Lucy.” He tries his best, but his own smile doesn’t reach his eyes.

It’s nearly twenty minutes before the captain’s door opens and Amy steps out, shaking hands with the man exiting her office. She smiles, too, when she sees Jake, and he almost drops to the floor there and then. He vowed to preserve her happiness, until death do them apart, and he hasn’t broken that promise in five years. Today, he will.

“Hey, babe! We didn’t have plans today, did we?” In the quick moment she takes to check her watch, Jake lets his smile drop. “It can’t be your lunch break already.”

“No, actually, I’m still on the job.”

He slides past her, without the usual kiss on her cheek, and closes the door behind her when she follows. The light filtering in through the windows is clear and bright, a beautiful spring morning. Just a few hours ago, Amy was opening the windows in the kitchen, little Sadie in her arms, pointing out the new sprouts blooming after the heavy winter. She was smiling, laughing, sprinkling kisses over Jake’s face before they left for work. It was supposed to be a happy day.

“You should sit down.”

He directs her to one of the seats in the back of the room where he can sit next to her, hold her hand between his.

“Jake?” He won’t meet her eyes. “You’re scaring me.”

“I’m sorry,” he whispers. “Carlos was found dead Tuesday evening.”

There’s a moment where Amy’s face falls, but she builds it back up, and takes her hand from his. “Okay,” she says. “Is that all?”

He watches her stand up, rearrange a few items on her desk that were already straight.

“Amy.”

“You should get back to the 99. I’ll see you tonight.”

And she smiles, teeth white and eyes shining. Jake takes a deep breath.

“Yeah. See you tonight.”

She’s home before he is, which isn’t a surprise. It was her turn to pick up the kids from daycare. One of them comes running at him before he can close the door, her pigtails flying. He swoops her up in the air, dangling her upside down just a little until she squeals.

“Hey, peanut, how was your day?”

As she tells him something about the robot they built out of recycled materials, Jake wanders further into the apartment. The television is on, playing one of Bella’s shows. The kitchen is empty except for some animal crackers left under the cabinet.

“Where’s Mama?” he asks, flying the four-year-old back to the couch.

She screeches until he plops her down. “Napping.”

“And your sister?”

“Napping.”

She’s getting engrossed back into her tv show, so he knows he has to act fast to get any information out of her.

“Did you have anything to eat?”

“Shh, Daddy.”

He leans over the couch to kiss her cheek, even if she pushes him away a little. On his way down the hall, he checks on Sadie first, who’s sound asleep in her crib. Amy, however, is wide awake in bed and staring at the ceiling. Gently, he climbs in next to her.

“How you doing?”

She doesn’t answer for a while, so he turns his head to look at her.

“Mom called.” She drifts her eyes down to meet his. “The funeral’s next weekend.”

When he reaches for her hand, she drifts closer, curling into his chest. She’s motionless against him, her breath steady, and he knows she isn’t crying. Hasn’t cried yet. He thought he’d seen her and all of her ways—screaming rage and silent tears and that small smile when she can’t meet your gaze. He’s never seen her lose a brother.

“Do you need anything?”

“They identified him this morning,” she whispers. “Why did it take so long?”

“Ames—”

“I need to know how it happened.”

The air grows darker around them, pressing down. Or perhaps that’s his lungs, collapsing under the weight of his knowledge of the crime. Seeing the body, bloody and crushed halfway under the car. Jake runs his hand down her back, hoping she can’t tell that they’re shaking.

“It was a hit and run. Literally, the man climbed out of his totaled car and ran.” He stops to take a deep breath. When he was first assigned the case to find the runaway, he laughed. Run, run, as fast as you can, Toyata-man! His throat tightens, and he presses a small kiss to the top of Amy’s head. An apology. “Carlos was just a pedestrian, caught in the middle.”

“Why could no one identify him?”

“He—he was hit pretty bad.”

“How bad?”

He moves his lips to her forehead. “I don’t think—”

“I have a right to know.”

His arm is thrown off her as she gets up and starts pacing the floor. She’s mad now. He just watches, waits for her to slow down, maybe collapse and start sobbing. Her feelings always go in and out like waves, and he can’t tell what to expect next. But she stops, sits back on the bed by his feet.

“I have a right to know,” she whispers again.

He’s about to sit up and join her at the end of the bed, but their door squeaks open, and Bella pushes her face through the crack.

“Is it dinner time?”

Amy scoops her up with a smile. “Of course, mi reina. What do you want?”

As “marshmallows!” trails down the hall, Jake rubs a hand down his face. He stays there until the pizza delivery man arrives.

It’s not even two days until Amy gets her hands on the case file. He recognizes it immediately—it was on his desk only two hours ago. She’s hunched over the coffee table, spoon feeding bananas to Sadie as she goes. He’d heard her greet him when he came in through the door, but he still approaches cautiously, sitting gently by her feet.

“Where’d you get that?”

“Rosa.”

Amy flips to the next page, and he silently takes over banana duty.

It’s another three days when her steady facade falters. They took the girls out to the city today—Bella loves staring up at the skyscrapers, and she swears she’s going to build her own next year when she’s all grown up. She’s dancing through a little play fountain when Jake catches Amy fiddling with something in her purse.

He leans forward to press a kiss to her cheek, stealing a glance down as he does. Amy notices the moment she’s been caught.

“I haven’t opened it,” she says.

“Okay.”

“I don’t even carry a lighter anymore.”

He knows. She threw them all away the second they learned she was pregnant the first time around. Leaning his head against hers, he slips the cigarette box out of her hands and intertwines his fingers with hers instead. For a moment, he thinks she’s finally about to cry, but then she shifts away from him, and calls for Bella to come over. It’s time to head home.

Sometimes, she moves slowly. Like in the mornings when she waits for the third alarm before rising to her feet and starting her day, putting in a little less effort than usual. Other times, she’s unstoppable. Juggling two kids at once and managing three other chores at the same time.

Only once does she acknowledge her feelings on the matter, when they’re tucked in bed with the lights off. She mumbles into his chest, “Why did it have to be him?”

He doesn’t have an answer to that.

The funeral is louder than he anticipated. It makes sense, with the entire Santiago clan, including relatives he’s never even heard of, milling around and spreading condolences. Jake’s on daughter duty for the most part, watching from a distance and not getting too involved. But it’s hard to ignore the lump in his throat after his sixth brother-in-law says hello, and he keeps expecting the seventh that will never show.

He watches Amy drift slowly around, though she never strays too far from him. Every few minutes she returns to his side for a quick break. But she always puts a smile back on, braving herself for the next overbearing hug.

“You don’t have to be strong, y’know.” It’s something he’s been telling her every day since the accident.

She just puts on another smile. “I’m fine. Really.”

The first time Jake cries, Bella’s tugging on his sleeve as the immediate family gathers around the coffin with flowers.

“Where’s Tio Carlos?” she asks.

They tried to explain it before the funeral, sitting down with her and introducing the concept of an afterlife—they never wanted to force a religion on their children, but it was the only explanation they had. She only shrugged it off, asked if she could wear her light up sneakers instead of the boring Mary Janes.

So he stays silent and holds her closer to him, pressing kiss after kiss to her hair. She puts up with it for a few moments, then wriggles out of his grasp.

“Can I throw a flower, too?”

He sneaks a final kiss onto her nose, and decides it’s not worth the fight to keep her in her seat.

“Go ask Mama.” He sets her free.

It’s one month after the accident when Amy wakes up shaking and sweaty. Jake frowns as he slowly becomes conscious—he’s always been slow to wake—and throws a hand loosely in his wife’s direction before he manages to regain full function of his limbs and pull himself up to firmly wrap his arms around her.

“Breathe, Ames.” His lips ghost over the shell of her ear.

She takes a staggering breath in, then falls into him, sobs wracking her frame. He continues whispering in her ear, breathing through his mouth to encourage her to match his breaths. Though his hands are shaking where they trace her skin. He’s used to her occasional panic attack and her less often night terrors, but he’s never seen her quite this far gone.

It all stops abruptly, and Jake lifts her from him to look into her eyes. He recognizes what she needs instantly, and pulls her with him off the bed. They only make it just past the bathroom door  before she’s heaving and vomiting onto the tiles at her feet. Her knees buckle, and he carries her the few feet to the toilet before setting her down.

“Deep breaths,” he reminds her, pulling back her hair and securing it with an elastic band. He kisses her temple before fetching her a glass of water, then goes to clean up the bathroom floor as well.

“I’m sorry,” she whimpers.

He sits behind her when he’s done, stroking her back as she continues emptying out the contents of her stomach.

“What for?” he asks when she’s done, leaning back into him and away from the toilet.

She doesn’t have an answer for him, just turns her head into his chest and relearns how to breathe.

The nightmares aren’t a constant, but they return every once in a while. Some nights, they stay up talking, taking turns sharing their fears, what they’re grateful for. One night, Bella pokes her head through the door, tears on her face.

Jake beckons her towards him, pulls her up into his lap.

“What’s wrong, peanut?”

She grabs his shirt into fists, stealing glances at Amy. “Is Mama okay?”

He glances at her, too. She’s still against Jake’s side, but she curled more into the pillows when Bella arrived. Her head is turned away, though, probably to keep Bella from seeing her tears.

“Mama just misses Tio Carlos,” he says.

Bella crawls forward, trying to wrap her arms around her mother’s middle. “It’s okay, Mama. He’s in the heaven. It’s good. It has ice cream.”

There’s a moment where Amy’s breath catches, then she’s turning back towards Bella and enveloping her in her arms. Jake leans in and surrounds them both, and there they remain. For a little while.

“Mama?” Bella whispers. “Mama, mama, mama?”

“What is it, mi reina?”

“Can we have ice cream, too?”

She smiles and wipes away her tears. No more seem to follow.

“Of course.”

On their way to the kitchen, Jake grabs a sleeping Sadie and sits down with her on the floor, his back against the counters. Bella jumps around, way too hyper for three in the morning, so Jake tugs her down, too. Tells her stories about the ice cream monster.

Amy joins them with three giant bowls of ice cream moments later, settling down on Jake’s other side. She leans her head against his shoulder as he finishes his wild tales, tickling Bella with his free hand at the finale. Amy laughs along, her fingers tracing along Sadie’s head. He’s a bit delirious, a bit sleep deprived, but he’s certain it’s the happiest he’s ever been.

As for Amy, she never has a nightmare about her brother again.

[chenlays]

I request a scenario where you, sam/foot/weeb, get to marry the love of ur life chenle

thank u for discussing this w me I’m gonna cry r u ready for this NOBODY ASKED BUT IM GIVING

• y'all know I love my bby chenle right ?? • ok so I’m on my phone doing this I’m h u Rt• but aNYWAYS • I would marry him like 59 times and ?? I’d still be happy that’s good• ok so just he’s rly cute and I’d buy lots of cats and just bury him in kitties and I would cry actual tears of joy that’s a pile of amazing• and ?? Like y Es I would totally be up 4 going out to get sweets at like 2am and just sitting out at night and eating them and talking about life• also oHMY g o d I love breakfast u know just pls I’ll make u breakfast every morning with ur fav even if I have to wake up at 4am or travel 5 miles by walking BYE • I’m probs the most annoying person ever and I’ll just literally shower him in love and just literally every 5 minutes ask him if he’s ok• also I am rly affectionate just l o v e me and keep me warm pls I’m cold all the time• I’m also that cliche bich that takes sweaters and hides them in a secret closet (´ｰ｀)• this is fun• look chenle bby pls if ur ever sad I will cry too and just h u g the pain away and love u okay• also protec u with my life• I’ll buy cute lil cat pajamas for u bby I love u• I’m actually sobbing why did u sarcastically ask this radish• my dream is to actually live in Iceland but I will sacrifice for him• like sure we can live in china if u want idc• also I just wanna b a veterinarian • u know how many cute lil animals I’d have omGG• just havin like 28 parakeets and they’re all just o u t and he’s runnin n screaming everywhere SO CU TE• also stress• but I mean I love him with all my heart like,,,yes release the keets if it makes u happy• ice cream like once a week tho pls• I want that to be my religion• J U ST eatin ice cream n walkin around to look at stuff and just BUying everything • also pls,,,gimme ur nose it’s rly cute bby• u guys I’m tearing up the more I think about him the more love I feel• he just too cute• id probs pay him for a bunch of solos （╹◡╹）♡• wakin up to hear him screeching chewing gum I AM A L I VE• als o just constantly me having to stay away once a week to silently sob• y'all He is p e r fect • “uhm why do u have 600 pictures of an Asian guy with u all the time”• “yeah sorry gtg something came up”• OMG • I literally am so fascinated with spiders• and he’s scared of them aw babs that’s cute• if u see a tiny jumping spider to a huge as fuk tarantula gET ME!!!• the cutest thing ever would just be him SCREECHING because I’m holding a tiny lil spider in my hand just crawling everywhere • can I mention cats again• I am a strong believer in cats soothing your heart and protecting you from heart problems• literally I will spend 10mil to make a cat a service cat for him 🙃• like,,,,if ur scared here’s a cute kitty to purr n make u smile• also endless supply of love from me I’m full of it• I never stop feeling love this is a fact• I am also a good listener and 99.9% reliable with secrets• u ate marks fav cookie??? Don’t worry hun I’ll never tell• also I will literally b rich if I’m a veterinarian so I’m going to a new country every other month• forcibly pushin out that home• pls,,,come to Russia with me I can speak Russian bb • honestly when I’m 25 what can’t I do• I WANT GIANT PUPPERS OMG THEYRE LIKE THE SIZE OF ME NOW• c. Henle riding on a giant Caucasian ovcharka just scremaign and being happy that’s so fukin cu t e• literally take my s o u l I love u• this is re a l LY long I’ll edit it tomorrow I G• but also just I wanna pinch his cheeks and sMOOSH them together and make him happy that’s so wonderful • lele with smooshed cheeks ::))• also like 4993020 lil cheek smooches FUC• I shed a tear I would be so s h y tbh I don’t act like it• I’d probs be that person who has to ask for a hug• I see so many people talking about backhugs for chenle and I would love lt that’s so adorable• also I wanna be bigger than him • like taller ig ??• I like to be big spoon !! Fun fact • I like to snuggle up to ppl rather than snuggle into them• kitty cuddles aw• pls I like to play with hair and snuggle and just squeeze occasionally it’s so sweet• also literally a separate drawer for cat socks • probably just buying like 500 presents for Christmas just for him u know• also that birthday• pls lemme just drag u around lil cute shops and buy u literally anything u want• just luv me and hug me n hold my hand I will be 1056% content• oh I’m crying??? Didn’t notice I was too busy lookin at u smile• ommmmmm I would definitely go to roller coasters with him just for that cute squeal• not if he’s scared• I’ll protect u bby ily• I’ll protect from everything • I can’t fight tho I’ll learn for u• I actually have 37 wallets with just pics I show to people • I don’t like a lot of pda just hold m Y hand thx ❤️• literally I hope I have like 50 succulents just at my job • omg what if he sent cute lil notes in my pocket or food just to say “I hope ur day is amazing!! ily!!”• if that happened • “hey there did u know I am in love wit h zhong chenle”• radish I’ll b at ur house w hyuck a lot just to talk abt happiness• BOY DO I HAVE SOME SOFT STUFF FOR U• frick omg cuteness!!! sittin outside in the middle of fall with kitty print scarves and cute gloves and fluffy sweaters and just sitting in the dark and cuddling to stay warm • just out to look at the stars• silence is so beautiful and that silence is amazing • or “cloud” gazing• his imagination would be so adorable• comin home to literally 60 pillows in every room• “uh bb what’s this??”• “pls shush n stop being mEAN I didn’t know what to DO”• omgmgm im so sappy I’d send cute short letters to him all the time • if I got them back I’d s c r e a m• eating a samich or smth and reading it and just almost suffocating • also I’m sleepy af rn and it reminds me• I love laying on laps or having ppl laying on my lap so I can play with hair• pls let me nap on ur lap and just literally encase myself in my big af pink rainbow sweater  • it covers everything but my legs• I would be so warm w him I’m sobbing• huggin me while I’m nap on the lap• I am so soft for this• sending selcas every few hours just because• literally no I won’t send my ugly• but sweetie pls send all of urs I will s OB and frame literally all of them• more lap naps• just gimme hugs and lemme smooch ur nose and cry myself into a nap on ur lap  • I’m really tired • I can’t think anymore and I’m so soft right now• so here’s the hcs about the marriage id want with the bby I can’t have that nobody asked for•my e yes•ok sorry ily• i also love u radish sm❤️• n chenle babs, bby, sweetie, hun,,,I’m literally cryin for u 💚

[serrpentine]

outofpersonality:( quietly sneaks in here to say how much i adore your passion about axl, i'm always so happy to see how much you love him and how you show this through all the awesome things you post! also your tags are hilarious and i love reading how you gush about him, just keep up the dedication bc i really admire people who are so expressive about what makes them happy! never stop

                     i   .    am   .    CRYING !!  YOU LITTLE CUTE PEACH. 💖 (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ OhmYgOd this was the BEST thing ever to wake up to -INSERT SOB EMOJI X10000- i am dying bc i just– ITS SO WEIRD TOO BC BEFORE I WENT TO BED LAST NIGHT I WAS LAUGHING AT THE STORY OF DAVID BOWIE SUPPOSEDLY HITTING ON AXL’S GF ERIN AND THEN AXL PUNCHED HIM/RAN AFTER HIM BUT GOT A BLACK EYE IN THE END BY DAVID’S BODYGUARD YET?? THEY WENT OUT FOR DRINKS BY THE END OF THE NIGHT WHEN AXL FORGAVE HIM LMAOOO. BUT YES !! BACK TO SCREAMING @ THIS SWEET LITTLE MESSAGE that i appreciate so much!! i didn’t even have a clue. but its so amazing that?? my love for this little ginger nerd SHOWS bc i dont think i love another person aside my mom in this world as much as i love axl rose or makes me as happy. and when other people recognize that?? –  aHem – WHEN AN AMAZING DAVID RPER RECOGNIZES THAT !! i just want to explode bc that’s the best feeling ever. thank you for even describing my posts as awesome. i’m squealing even more now!! just bLESS BLESS ALL AROUND. I COULD KEEP GUSHING ALL DAY AT HOW HAPPY THIS HAS MADE ME !! n thank you so much again for sending me this. come write w me sometime!! 💕💕💕💖💖

@whambamthxnkyoumaam.