#squatz

[manyblinkinglights]

Good things abt the job I still have three more days at:

Leaning my shoulder against the warm TDS oven while recording its temperature every morning

When it rains, that patch of pavement out back of the A/N basins that bubbles, as if bubbles are another thing a surface can do alongside “sparkle with frost,” “spatter with raindrops,” etc

Huge plateglass window out onto our personal gooseridden pleasure knoll; the swaying of the willows; the sentinel hummingbirds in their season

Smell My Work

Glorious view of the mountain on clear days, and during mornings

BIRDS. So many birds. Gulls and hawks and ducks and little brown ones and minuscule oh so tiny ones (mosquitoes)

SPIDER SEASON!

Spider pit; the hole with the spiders in it. Webs so thick they about win out over the sampling stick.

Being so so so so so hydrated from drinking water on my breaks

My REGALIA, my mask and safety glasses and hard hat and bright yellow antisun sombrero drape attachment and lab coat

LAB COAT. lab coat privilege. who knows what I’m wearing today? who cares?

Knowing the day of the week and the number of the month (lol and the year).

POCKET PENS.

POCKET TIMER

just. so many mosquitoes.

Diva autoclave and its aria. That long sustained child’s clay whistle note.

Shoveling out as much ice as I wanted into my little sampling cooler… great big scoops of ice.

[jockdumboy]

big dumb jock tut

step 1: lift heavy, bro – don’t think, just lift

bro, dis still da most important part. lift heavy stuff erry day. no rest days, bro! no excuses. pick up heavy things, put ‘em down, repeat. simple.

jock lifts:

• bench prees: bro, da king of lifts. lay down, grab da big bar wit da weights on it, and push it up. don’t stop till ur chest feels like it’s on fire. big chest = alpha chest. boom.

• bicep curlz: grab sum heavy dumbellz, bro, and curl ‘em up to ur face. keep goin till ur arms feel like they gon fall off. big arms get all da respect, bro. curlz get da girlz, remember that.

• lat pulldownz: sit on da machine, bro, grab da bar, and pull dat thing down hard. feel dem wings growin on ur back. wings = dominance. don’t stop till ur back looks like u could fly away.

• legz (important now, bro): aight, bro, we gonna do sum squatz. grab da bar, put it on ur back, and squat down. do dis till ur legs feel like noodles, bro. big legz mean u can look good wearin da short shorts, plus u won’t fall over when ur chest gets too big. don’t skip leg day anymore, bro. trust me on dis.

• abs (gotta get da 6-pack, bro): do dem crunches, bro, like 100 at least. don’t stop till ur stomach feels like it’s about to explode. da 6-pack will come, just keep crunchin. it’s all about consistency, bro. plus, da ladies love da abs.

step 2: eat clean, bro – get shredded

bro, u can lift all day, but if u wanna be shredded, u gotta eat clean. no junk food, bro. clean food only, dat’s how u get shredded af.

simple bro diet:

• breakfast: 10 egg whites. no yolks, bro. da yellow stuff messes with da gains. and eat a banana, bro. bananas are good. den wash it down with a protein shake, always gotta have dat shake. protein is life.

• lunch: chicken, bro. lots of it. chicken is like da muscle food. maybe some rice if ur feelin’ fancy, but bro, rice is for marathon runners, not jock bros. and don’t forget another protein shake.

• dinner: more chicken, bro. chicken erry meal. or steak if u feel like it. steak is good too. maybe sum veggies like broccoli cuz broccoli makes u ripped, bro. i seen da big dudes eat it, so we eat it too. end da day wit another protein shake.

• before bed snack: big spoonful of peanut butta, bro. peanut butta got da good fats. plus, it’s delicious. wash it down wit another protein shake, bro. protein is errywhere.

step 3: look da part, bro – dress swole

u gotta dress like a jock bro if u wanna be one, bro. dat means tank tops, ripped sleeves, and da shortest shorts possible. show off da gains, bro.

bro style rules:

• tank tops: if ur tank top don’t show off ur nipz, it’s not tight enough, bro. show dem gains. u worked hard for ‘em.

• short shorts: since we do legs now, u gotta show ‘em off. da shorter da better, bro.

• backwards hat: always rock da hat backwards, bro. makes u look cool af, plus u can see urself flexin in da mirror better.

• sneakerz: just make sure they fresh, bro. u can’t roll into da gym lookin like a scrub. no sandals, bro. unless u got socks on, but dat looks dumb.

step 4: act like a jock bro – lifestyle moves

bein a jock bro ain’t just about liftin and eatin. it’s a way of life, bro. act like a jock bro errywhere u go.

bro rules to live by:

1. flex errywhere: if u see a mirror, bro, flex. don’t even think about it. just flex. people gotta know u swole. bathroom mirrors, car windows, store windows – all flex spots.

2. talk about liftin: u gotta talk about ur lifts erry convo. someone talkin about sumthin else? change it to how much u bench or how many reps u did yesterday, bro. lift talk = respect.

3. drink water from a gallon jug: u need a gallon jug of water, bro. carry it wit u errywhere. if u ain’t drinkin outta a gallon jug, people gon think u weak.

4. grunt loud at da gym: if u ain’t gruntin, u ain’t liftin hard enough, bro. da whole gym should hear u. u lift heavy, u grunt heavy. show ‘em who’s boss.

5. spot ur bros: always spot ur bro when he’s goin heavy. if he fails a rep, dat’s on u, bro. don’t let him down. bros always got each other’s backs.

conclusion: u got dis, bro

bro, if u do all dis, u gon be da biggest, most shredded jock bro in da world. just lift heavy, eat clean, drink protein shakes, and flex errywhere. it’s dat simple. don’t think too much, just do it. now go hit da gym, bro. let’s goooo!

[branislavurban]

B. Urban - Selling

SQUATZ Stationary Cycling Bike Exerciser - Indoor Exercise Bicycle With ...

[hub001]

Amazon com SQUATZ Pluto Home Smart Gym 100lbs of Resistance All in One...

[jesse-ben-israel]

squatz-apollo-board-smart-home-gym-265-lbs-resistance from Jesse Israel on Vimeo.

[dozeer]

OH squatz

3 THINGS I DO IN GYM FOR PADDLING BETTER

[devinhoo]

It looks working out has paid off but really these clothes are just too small

[littleprincehyun]

Baekhyuns version of Move

[surfacage]

I love the way you draw Zack omg ////

yea i like him particularly because even though he’d been fucked over every way possible with every reason to be bitter at the world, he still gave up everything to give cloud the chance to live. also, squat champion. what a guy

[theangrycomet]

Ken Tennyson for the headcanon post

(I forget how different I draw/make him from canon)

Ken Tennyson

Realistic Headcannon: Ken ends up being the black sheep of his family just from his pure normal ness. Nobody tells him jack squatz

Not Realistic but Funny as Hell Headcannon: Like Sandra, he has this nack for befriending deadly criminals, especially his families enemies. Charmcaster and Albedo are the two notable cases.

Heart-Crushing but I can’t be Suffering Alone so you Get to Hear it Too HeadCannon: The DNAlien mutation can resurface, usually causing extreme mood swings and aggressiveness before he mutates. (Ben gets Azmuth to help fix it but still)

Canon says No but it Backstabbed Me So I Do What I want HeadCannon: Ken has HAD it with his Grandpa and the plumbers as a whole. He got freaking abducted and almost turned into some rampaging, homicidal monster because of him and STILL nothing was explained to him. Than Max had the audacity to pretend to be dead for months on end and not to tell anybody that A) he was NOT in fact dead or B) that he was back.

He also feels that Max has kind of brainwashed Ben into doing what ever he wants through the whole “Hero” thing- Gwen to though to a significantly lesser extent.

Ken is done.

[branislavurban]

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[jesse-ben-israel]

Level Up Your Workout with Squatz Apollo Board: 265 lbs Resistance

[curiouser-and-curiouser-fics]

lucio: *winks* it's time to do mah squatz .... oh myyyyyyy~ *booty amplifies*

[thunderdoodles]

im tellin ya - paladins do squatz