#spy x family s1 ep 6 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

circumstellars · 4 years ago

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I’m collecting my fanworks into master-posts for my own need to be stupidly organised! For your viewing pleasure, here are direct links to my gifs thus far.

This post is now discontinued! Leaving for posterity, but from here on out please see these links for the current masterposts this one has transformed into (02/2021):

Gifset Masterpost: The Umbrella Academy Gifset Masterpost: TUA Cast+

I accept prompts, if I have the time, as long as they’re TUA or cast related in some way. I make them as HQ as the source will allow, within the size restrictions of tumblr. I work with Adobe Photoshop and do my own editing. I put a lot of work and effort into these - please do not repost without credit!

Note; ‘Art set’ is defined as gifs/set that are edited beyond the conventional cut and colour, so to speak. Including but not limited to: special animations, effects, timing sequences, blending, texturing, etc. are found in anything labelled ‘Art set’.

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Season 1:

Luther + Stars Over The Dordogne [EP1] [Art set] It’s been a long time since I’ve had a good sleep [EP2] You know someday, I’d really love for you to meet her [EP2] Allison, Luther + forgetting this place, but not you [EP2] (1) Allison, Luther + Claire’s superhero [EP2] (2) Five + Klaus (and his nicest outfit) [EP2] (1) Five + Klaus (and their cover story) [EP2] (2) Klaus' nicest outfit [EP2] (3) Five, Luther, Klaus + a stakeout in the van [EP3] (1) Five, Luther + Klaus' waxing experiments [EP3] (2) Luther, Five + get out of the van Klaus [EP3] (3) I can't believe I have a sister [EP4] [Art set] Maybe I will have some coffee [EP5] [Art set] Five + Stellar’s higher resolution foray [EP5] Five + Kin [EP5] [Art set] Klaus + I’m 10 months older [EP5] Klaus, Ben + saving Luther [EP7] I’m afraid your reputation precedes you [EP6] [Art set] Season 2:

Five meeting Elliott [EP1] Diego Hargreeves falling in love [EP1] Luther finding Vanya in 1963 [EP2] Imagine Batman... then aim lower [EP2] Ray, Allison and Axel [EP?] Klaus + Hippie Van [EP3] Klaus + waking up [EP3] [Art set] The Mexican Embassy: Diego getting his ass kicked [EP4] (1) The Mexican Embassy: Diego kicking ass [EP4] (2) Klaus, Allison, Vanya + Family Affairs [EP5] Breathe, Allison! + Let’s Dance! [EP10]

Harlan throughout S2 [Art set] Season 1 & Season 2: Precursor to a massacre + Five [S1EP1 vs S2EP7] Klaus + immortality immorality [S1 & S2, various] The Hargreeves siblings close-ups: S1 vs. S2 [EP1] [Art set] Five, What Did You Do? [S1EP1 vs S2EP7] [Art set] 1 2 3 4 5 6 7, siblings in colour [S2 Promo] [Art set]

Five, Klaus + To My Brother [various] [Art set] *shop request

TUA Big Bang 2020: Family, Broken [S1 & S2, various] [Art set]

Five's arguable power upgrade (meta + gifs) [S1 vs. S2]

David Castañeda:

David Castañeda for Roofers Promo (??) (2015)

MasterClass with Robricio (2016)

David Castañeda on guitar (via Instagram) (2019)

Kids. Love. Beer (via Instagram) (2019)

The Book of Interview (2020) DA MAN Photoshoot (Colour) (2020) DA MAN Photoshoot (B&W) (2020)

‘Viendo la película el otro día... ’ (via Instagram & Twitter) (2020)

Aidan Gallagher:

"Do what comes naturally” (201?)

Whatever this is Nicky, Ricky, Dicky & Dawn (201?)

For #Actnow (2019) For #Actnow (alternate set) (2019)

Tom Hopper, Emmy Raver-Lampman, David Castañeda & Elliot Page:

TUA promo for Netflix Latinoamérica (2018) [Art set]

Tom Hopper & Robert Sheehan:

Buzzfeed x Earth Locker: 24 Hours 0 Waste Challenge (2020) (1) Buzzfeed x Earth Locker: 24 Hours 0 Waste Challenge (2020) (2) Buzzfeed x Earth Locker: 24 Hours 0 Waste Challenge (2020) (3) Buzzfeed x Earth Locker: 24 Hours 0 Waste Challenge (2020) (4)

Justin Min:

Justin Min interviewed for GQ (2020)

Emmy Raver-Lampman

TUA interview for Tribute (2019)

Robert Sheehan:

On the awkward scenes in Misfits S01 for Digital Spy (2010)

Killing Bono BTS (LQ) (2011)

The 100 face journey For RTÉ (2015)

Moonwalkers BTS Interview (2015)

Robert Sheehan talks with Spacehop (2016) Robert Sheehan for Spacehop (again) (2016)

Fortitude [S2] [EP5] (2017)

Mortal Engines interview on Lorraine (with Hugo Weaving) (2018) Mortal Engines GigaTV Mag Interview (2018) (1) Mortal Engines GigaTV Mag Interview (2018) (2) Netflix: The Great Irish Debate interview (2019) (1) Netflix: The Great Irish Debate interview (2019) (2)

The Toilers - Banshee Betty (music video) (2019) (1/?)

Noisy little buggers (instagram?) (2020)

Rock Rivals [EP4] (2008) Rock Rivals [EP4] (2) Rock Rivals [EP6] Rock Rivals [EP6] (2) Rock Rivals [EP6] (3) Rock Rivals [EP6] (4) Rock Rivals [EP6] (5) Rock Rivals [EP6] (6) Rock Rivals [EP6] (7) Rock Rivals [EP6] (8)

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Last updated: discontinued here!

#tua #the umbrella academy #umbrella academy #robert sheehan #klaus hargreeves #David Castañeda #diego hargreeves #mygifs #myworks #my nonsense #masterposts

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kaypeace21 · 6 years ago

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CODE RED: Will is going to be Number 12!

exhibit A) Matthew Modine (who plays Dr.Brenner) posted this on instagram.

Exhibit B) I already discussed why Will has powers in more detail here.

“Both El and Will could communicate through different dimensions (Will exploded 2 phones , El exploded a radio at the school). Both of their moms’ had “crazy aunts” - powers are genetic. Both had their brain waves monitored at the lab and their measurements were off the charts, plus they were being unknowingly recorded on video. El and Will are the only people who could touch, speak, and hear each other in the void. They both tore through walls (with that pink gunk between the normal world and upside down). They both can track others when concentrating -Will found Hopper, El found Will. Both communicated psychically by transferring their conscious- El to talk to Mike in his basement using the void (in s2) & Will to his mom in the living room (in s1). They are the only magical d&d characters (mage & cleric). When El uses her powers to their highest capabilities, her eyes turn red (at the end of s1 and 2 ) … so it’s interesting that when Will was fighting for control of his ownbody his eyes went from hazel to black. And in s1, Will’s storyline is all about him communicating through flickering/shining lights- and when El uses her powers lights always flicker.Also before Will goes missing , he asks Dustin for his X-men comic- later in reference to El ,Dustin asks “Do you think El was born with her powers like the X-men?” And when Mike says El is “channeling him (Will)”. Dustin says “like professor x”. clearly hinting that they were both born with powers, like the X-men.

In s1 Will was described to be “shadow walking” In D&D Shadow walking is – “ largely illusory, but quasi-real. characters can use this spell to travel rapidly by stepping onto the Plane of Shadow, moving the desired distance, and then stepping back onto the Material Plane.” This quote perfectly summarizes Will’s power - which he was shown to be using in s1 & s2 (before his possession)- he can be partially-present and can physically interact with both dimensions at the same time. This explains how he was standing in the real world next to Mike in the field, while the mind flayer took possession of him in the upside down version of the same field.

Also, in the show, the only people who have powers are women: Terri, Kali, and El. However, in the cannon prequel novel “suspicious minds” Terri, Alice, Gloria, and Ken have powers. So as of now, Ken is the only guy in the ST universe who has powers … and he just so happens to be gay . And people suspect Will is gay… so… on to the next point XD

The show and comic hint Will had dormant powers or used them and was unaware he was doing so (before the upside down incident). He sent himself accidentally to the upside down (the lightbulb glowed just like all the lights in Hawkins did when El closed the gate in s2) also El accidentally sent herself there too. The comic heavily implies Will was born with several powers (similar to how El has multiple powers). His may be shadow walking, teleportation, and invisibility. All 3 of these powers in D&D are powers of a wizard/sorcerer - which is synonymous with the term mage (which is used to describe El). Also, in the show the password Will picks for castle byers is ‘Rhadagast’ (a wizard in lord of the rings). According to D&D invisibility is a level 1, teleportation is level 5, and shadow walking is a level 6 in order of increasing difficulty. However, It wasn’t until Will’s possession that Will truly became a cleric (which I’ll explain in detail later). Will always had powers and was unaware he was using them (before the upside down incident)- the only powers he used at the time were invisibility and teleportation .Do you guys remember when Jonathan said Will was “good at hiding” cause teleportation and invisibility seem like something a kid who hid from his abusive father might of used accidentally A LOT!

However after his possession, Will becomes a cleric. “Clerics are given their powers by a god” (in this case he would have been given similar powers to the mindflayer). So will is going to be OP as F***!”

And before that post, I discussed why I thought Will & El would be kidnapped by the government at the end of s3 here

Exhibit c) “The promotional poster for st3 states “One summer can change everything”. While David Harbour states , “There is a major event at the end of ST3 that will dramatically change the course of the rest of the series”.

in the 1st pic a gun’s pointed at her face and in the second she’s being led away into a helicopter

The next photos show Joyce and Will hugging ,but in the following pics Will is gone.

Essentially the scenes of the kids looking back at the empty Byers’ house is the last scene in s3. Every season has a one month time skip- and the clothes that Dustin, Mike, and Max were wearing included pants and or long sleeves. The fact they spoiled the ending indicates it’s a red herring. It’s not simply that the Byers moved- it’s that they moved due to the trauma of losing Will. I believe throughout the season Joyce will want to move (like Bob wanted)- the only thing holding her back is the fact that Will’s support system (his friends) and Hopper are there.But after Will is taken away she leaves.”

exhibit D) Will’s comic references Dr Brenner and a novel that foreshadows later events, post here.

“Martini? Like Dr. Martin Brenner! Who the Duffer’s said they’re bringing back. And if what I said about the s3 finale of El and Will being kidnapped by the government is true. It would make sense for s4 to be where he’s brought back.”

In the book “The 2 main characters are very similar to Will and El. Literally the boy , Peter is quiet, gay-coded,and in love with his “protective” childhood bff . And Lola (sounds like s1 El-androgynous, buzz cut, brown hair, and eyes)-they team up to survive and are the first to meet. Essentially, Peter and Lola’s platonic love for each other- and their dependence on each other , allows them to keep their morality, mental health, and physical safety in tact- and this will probably echo the Will/El dynamic.It’s about a psychiatrist who kidnaps and tries to brainwash orphans into becoming weapons/spies for the government.”

So YEAH, along with all that, the fact that Will went missing in s1, and El was missing for most of s2, only verifies to me that both will be taken at the end of s3 and be separated from Mike and others for most of s4 (since it would have Will & El’s stories finally converge). Alot of people don’t realize that Will and El’s narrative arcs have been paralleled to one another through the whole series.The fact that they both have powers, were both used as spies, have ptsd, are both described as ‘quiet’, both had their dads force them to kill animals, had abusive dads who used them for their own gain (Papa- as a spy, Lonnie for the settlement money), had narrative arcs where they tried to get back to their mothers- and back to their “home” (friends & family), willing to sacrifice their lives to save everyone else from the monster, same stuffed lion plushie. The fact it’s practically cannon Will was the one who made up the whole “friends don’t lie” thing - that El loves so much. Since in ep 1, Will was honest with Mike about having a bad roll , despite Dustin and Lucas encouraging him to lie to Mike.

And this is why it’s pretty much confirmed to me. Honestly, I’m going to cry so much in s4 when we first see Will with a buzzcut and the number 12 tattooed on his wrist... and El with a buzzcut again and both being experimented on. Also in s4, we’ll also see the other numbers in Brenner’s care as well. As it would match with the poster and the book “House of stairs” that was referenced in Will’s comic book. * I encourage you to look at my links, since I went into more detail :)

#stranger things #will byers #eleven #stranger things theory #byler #mileven

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crossedbeams · 7 years ago

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ROSE REVIEWS… THE X-FILES - S1.E11 Eve

<<1.10 Fallen Angel ——————————— 1.12 Fire >>

I’m salty today and what better way than to transfer that into something positive than to finish this long overdue and almost certainly irrelevant recap of Eve. Read on for children who are almost as scary as their acting is bad, prison aesthetics and idiotic blithering by me.

THE PLOT

The fathers of creepy children are being exsanguinated on opposite coasts and Mulder wants to know the aliens have upgraded from cows. IVF suspicions run wild and with a little help from good old Deep Throat, the terrific two suspect genetic government experiments gone wrong may be responsible for the shenanigans. When the creepy kids go missing, things escalate and soda becomes a very dangerous refreshment...

Let’s go...

MY STREAM OF SEMI-CONSCIOUSNESS

Ah. The X-Files, the show that is always a scenic autumnal bath for my eyes…. And where under the leaves there is probably a dead person eaten by a molewoman or an alien. Honey? I’m home.

We find ourselves in an idyllic suburban neighbourhood, (always bad news on screen), where very concerned joggers approach an underdressed child and her stuffed animal. It’s hard at this stage to decipher whether the kid is creepy or just a really bad actor but the suspense synth hardly encourages us to give her the benefit of the doubt...

They head to the backyard, where peppy jogging neighbour fails to notice that the kid’s dad is dead coloured, posed like a corpse and basically, stereotypically and obviously dead... until he claps him jovially on the shoulder causing a tragicomic half slump of dead dad, and exposing vampiric looking marks. The kid screams, not sure why, she’s way too far away to see anything. This is the point at which I begin to suspect that she is both a bad actor AND entry #224 in the Vancouver local listing of Creepy Kids for Hire. Move over Conduit boy!

CREDITS!

This week we only wait 2.5 mins for our special baby Agents to materialise, Scully dressed as a Catholic grade schooler and Mulder wearing a tie designed, as far as I can tell, to look like mushroom soup with licorice allsorts floating in it.

Their poor fashion choices don’t seem to put them off them though, and we zigzag between lip biting (Mulder), making weird moany noises (Scully), and the level of inter office eye contact we’ve come to expect from these fluffy baby agents all set to a soundtrack of cattle mutilation chatter. And our series first (!) cow slideshow!

Scully is still naive enough to ask why Mulder believes cattle mutilation is linked to aliens. Give it a few weeks and you’ll realise that aliens is pretty much always the answer to “Why….” on the X-Files and that eyebrow is the only appropriate response before you just go with it.

I can’t wait :D

As Mulds and Sculls traverse some stairs, I realise that creepy kid #1 is called Teena. Spelled the same as Mulder’s mum. Because apparently the X-Files name bank isn’t only shallow in the male department. Also is Teena a normal spelling in the States? Here it’d only really be Tina….

I then get distracted by Scully in the biggest of purple coats. I’d love to see S1 Scully’s closet. A symphony of oversized pastels with overcoats to clash… don’t worry though hon. You’ll get some style later though for the bargain price of two (2) family members and also your ova. Poor Scully.

Scully also looks incredibly young in this scene, speaking all soft to the kid. Moments like this I struggle to believe that Mulder “never saw her as a mom” until Home. She’s all melty round the edges even though the kid is weird and creepy.

When creepy Teena starts talking about red lightning, the massively coached and unnatural pauses in dialogue and the trouble pronouncing exsanguination are just so glaring you can’t believe that this kid’s innocent charade will hold up as long as it does. But it all adds to the creep, just in time for…

**bring bring ** Scully leans in to kiss her spoopy partner tell Mulder there has been another murder. Darn. Seriously though. Close talkin to the power on uuuungghhh right here. No wonder this fandom is so thirsty.

We’re in Vancouver San Franciso, still in giant coats, for another exsanguination and what we now know is death by digitalis. Mulder says that the two estimated times of death were at the “exact same time” and I chuckle to myself like the pedant I am. Estimates cannot be exact dumdum. It also takes the edge off him mansplaining timezones to Scully. SHE IS A MEDICAL DOCTOR DAMMIT.

This scene has very nice warm, sunsetty lighting which is nice as our Spooksters demonstrate why the X-Files department is always over budget; they’ve flown cross country to do two laps of a crime scene while reading a file aloud and the kid they wanna question isn’t even in town. Where is she? I’m glad you asked, coz remember that sunny warmness? Well it’s over.

Back on the east coast, creepTeena is getting outcreeped by a thunderstorm and what appear to be disembodied footsteps at her door. We see nothing but a flash and then the door is open. It’s tense and I’m pretty sure this is never explained, raised as a concern beyond “she got abducted”?

A new day means new suits, Mulder in a tie inspired by parquet flooring and Scully in eggshell and pinstripes and a brown trenchcoat named regret. It’s a lot to process and they still don’t seem overly concerned about Teena’s kidnapping. Despite his post Samantha abduction PTSD, Mulder’s only contribution is a dramatic sky point and the suggestion the cops need to look up, but then dun dun dduuuuunh - there’s another one.

Sinister Cindy in the house. Literally.

She informs them she has lived there “since she was born eight years ago”. Zero inflection with that info and a sentence structure as unnatural as the phenomena Mulder wants to blame. Deffo a rent-a-creepykid. 100%. The woodenness only adds to it.

Commence super awkward kitchen convo where they Mulder and Scully try and fail to find a tactful way to imply Cindy might not be this grieving wife’s legitimate child. A birthing video is offered and declined. Thank god. Imagine is CHris Carter had to watch rushes of an actual woman’s vagina with a female child emerging.

Mrs Reardon’s insistence that Cindy was daddy’s girl is pretty horrifying once you know how it ends. Damn creepy kids. Listening in while watching politics, Cindy is infinitely creepier than Teena and I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not for this kid “actor”.

Back in the car and Mulder is still pretty blase about Teena’s abduction/kidnap, though I forgive him because his flippant potato/potahto is adorable and he does hang out in the bushes to try and protect Cindy from getting nabbed sending Scully off to the IVF clinic alone. Ahh... the foreshadowing is out there.

At the Luther Stapes Medical Centre, a doctor mansplains IVF to Scully. She does not punch him. Another way that she is better than me.She does however, maintain super intense eye contact with him for the entire walk and truly it is a miracle she doesn’t fall over.

The next scene is pretty uneventful except that I can honestly say that Sally Kendrick is the last human I would want toying with my cervix. She’s...robotic and it looks like she has to work out how to sit down like a human. She could give Theresa May lessons.

Back at the hotel there’s some funky camera panning that I am here for and also I think there is some dialogue but let’s be honest.... this is more important

Yes Professor I would like some extra credit and may I also just smooth your poofy hair.

Even Scully knows it. Hence her confusion at being ushered out, for no obvious reason. She just wants to look at him and maybe get inside his shirt and ... and... Mulder’s “what’s a girl” is cute.... but this is cuter. (even more overanalysing of this scene here for ya glasses lovers).

Instead of meeting a girl, Mulder meets Deep Throat in an excessively aesthetically pleasing place. Honestly, Eve is a beautiful episode. Despite the creepy kids and imprisoned women. (Eve Aesthetic here). DT seems very concerned that Scully not be invited and while I’m sure that this has some link to the possibility of spy!Scully, it reads more as jealous older manfriend wants pretty Mulder to himself. And honestly I get it. God, fic has ruined me. Anyway, enough of that, enjoy this picture of pensive waterside Mulder and try to recall the specifics of the Deep Throat reveal. Project Blah. Boys called Adam. Girls called Eve. Clones. Bad. Disaster. EVE-il is at work. ¬¬ (sorry)

Mulder has brought sunflower seeds because meeting an informant without snacks = rookie error.

The important thing to note is that Deep Throat basically sets the stage for the Super Soldier Arc and everyone forgets about it when they actually get to the super soldier arc. God, for a continuity pedant, my fave is SO problematic!

Deep Throat finishes by telling Mulder he’s scored him front row seats to what’s left of the whole fucked up thing.

Cut to the most aesthetic Institute for the criminally insane and after some hot DAMN camera angles we get panic buttons and a tromp into the deeps where they keep all the government created monsters, including Eve 6.

I just wanna take a moment away from my snark and give a huge shout out to Harriet Harris who is SO good and creepy in this episode. A lot of the Season 1 extras/bit parts are average to the extreme and honestly, Harris makes this episode. Without her eyeball biting, jerky, wild eyed delivery, this ep would be as mediocre as the creepy twin actresses.

Now we’ve got that out of the way - we find out that Eve 6 screams when the lights are on but is fine with an industrial sized flashlight being shone all up in her face. Nobody’s ever got a good look at her... except presumably the person who undoes her straitjacket so she can pee? And now Mulder and Scully.

Eve 6 is my fave Eve tbh. She’s this perfect mix of terrifying and pitiful, alludes to the telekinetic connection that the younger Eve twins later reference, and is the kind of proof of government misdeed that and older Mulder and Scully despair of, delivered while they’re way too young in their partnership to do anything about it. She tells them that Eves are into suicide, psychosis and murder, and on exiting, our baby agents still don’t suspect the kids.

(Break for actual analysis) It struck me during this scene how this case tunes into both Mulder and Scully’s demons. For Mulder, it’s the missing girls and the incarcerated Eve represents a scenario that could explain Samantha’s absence in the most horrifying ways. What if she is a locked up experiment just like Eve 6? For Scully it’s a visceral representation of her struggle between scientific duty and Christian morality. The creation of Eve 6 is an aberration against both good scientific practice AND the divine right of Good to control life and death... and yet she is also a victim who did not choose too be engineered and while Scully tries to question her, maintaining composure, this face/stress swallow really says it all.

Just to double the sucker punch we cut to Cindy asking the lord to take her soul, her mother looking on with a mournful doomladen stare before telling her daughter how special she is. Cindy is unmoved, because she is special(ly evil) and Mama Reardon leaves, bereft of her husband and unacknowledged by her kid. We get it Chris Carter. Genetic experimentation BAD, family GOOD, foreboding, CHECK.... now can we just-

Mulder Scully stakeout! There is no iced tea in the bag and when Mulder posits that the adult Eves 7 & 8 did done the murders, Scully pulls this face, and mutters without much conviction that she was beginning to suspect the girls.

GOOD CALL SCULLY

Except Mulder then says “no no and here is why” and Scully just goes with it. The whole delivery at set up of this scene feels very Season 1, by which I mean Scully vacillates wildly between submitting to Mulder’s experience and being done.with.his.shit, Mulder gets all the big lines/theories/feelings/hunches and Gillian especially (and David to a lesser degree) seem unsure how to play their nuances and dynamic. Essentially it all becomes irrelevant because CRISIS takes precedent but being the super-nerd I am, this stuff fascinates me as evidence of them still learning their characters. No way S5 Scully gives up on a plausible theory so easily, even if it makes 8-yos into suspects. If cats can be evil, these staring, soulless kids can be too.

Cue Mark Snow jangles and Cindy and her similar to Teena’s bunny rabbit run away from her terrifying wall dolls and many crucifixes towards the window where she makes terrifying eye contact with Scully’s binoculars before getting grabbed by someone who is considerate enough to announce themselves by turning on the lights?!.

Mulder will take the back! (any time Mulder. Any way ¬¬ ) and sets off with his almost convincingly held gun/torch combo while Scully takes the indoors. This is, invariably, only going to go one way.

DOWN GOES SCULLY!

Sally Kendrick/Eve? leaps through the window where Mulder confronts her by asking her which Eve she is, allowing her a chance to pull a gun, shoot at him and escape and this is why you don’t want S1 Muldo and Sculls handling your home invasion. I mean who holds their gun like this, takes out a psychopath and ends the day without a hole in them?

Fox “Thinks he can outrun a car” Mulder is who.

I love his idiot face though.

Despite the fact that Cindy didn’t struggle/scream/react to her apparent kidnap at all, Scully’s remaining focussed on the adult Eves in support of Mulder’s dismissal of her earlier theory... well I already said it but - *sigh*

After Scully briefs the police and Mulder tries to reassurea distraught Mrs Reardon that her increasingly abnormal daughter will be found we get the kind of side by side, meaningful moment that I am here for all day long. Except that the height difference is so extreme that they never actually get Scully in focus!

And Scully’s “and then what” brings us back to unsettling truth that even if the kid gets found, things aren’t looking good for her given how much murder is in her genes. Poor Mrs Reardon.

Very X-Files, through-the-motel-sign shot and we see Sally Kendrick taking Cindy into motel to meet Teena. The girls look... creepy... and Kendrick looks weirdly and simplistically happy given that she has multiple abductees, severe genetic issues and the FBI on her back. Maybe poor old Sal just wants a normal life? Unlucky girl, this is the X-Files, no happy ending for anyone EVERR. Except possibly a two-faced rapist who likes Cher but that’s for another time.

Back to Sally Kendrick who is rocking a poloneck and showing a remarkable lack of nutritional concern for someone supposedly a genius. Pretty sure 8 cartons of fries are no better for psychotic murder-kids than regular ones. She begins to explain that she was pretty hopeful that she’s evolved the murdering out of her second batch of Eves but turns out she actually made it worse! Let’s pop a check in the box for “playing into popular concerns about genetic testing” and “reasons you shouldn’t do it yourself”. She tells Cindy and Teena she’s “disappointed” that they’ve done murders ahead of the curve. They are not bothered which is unsurprising given they don’t know her/are psychopaths.

Aesthetically this scene is very pleasing and the lack of stilted kid dialogue “we just knew” vs. long sentences definitely adds to tension. As does the total lack of background music. Hearing even these fairly limited actors candidly and remorselessly admit to murder is effective. And Kendrick’s slightly desperate plea that they not think that way, that they be “better” as she designed has the double effect of showing her own Eve-y instability and her very human desire to not have made a horrible mistake in creating this terrifying she-devils.

Sorry Sal.

Genetic destiny’s a bitch

And the X-Files narrative demands that when you play god you get dead. unless you’re the CSM in which case you probably drink digitalis and kale for breakfast to aid skin regrowth. Bye bye Sally Kendrick. Thanks for the creepers.

On attending the crime scene, Mulder and Scully are midway through being told that the scene is undisturbed when they hear stuff breaking. This prompts some X-Files-Action-MagicTM and some truly outrageous faces by Gillian.

Yup

What is most disturbing on rewatching is that with the scene secured, Scully confirms death and Mulder goes to gaze out the window while the Creeper twins cower and cry on the floor. Noe we know they’re guilty AF by this point, but in the narrative DumbScull and MulderingItOver haven’t quite got there because they’ve been too busy gazing at each other so we have two children just whimpering in the corner while Scully pokes a corpse and Mulder mulders about.

Scully does eventually go and pat them. And again I say fuck you CC and anyone else who “didn’t see her as a mother”.

Mulder volunteers to chaperone the creepsters to hospital and beyond and the guy in charge kinda just goes “meh”. Pretty sure some liberties have been taken with child service procedures but hey, at least this means we’re almost at the crescendo moment. Right?

Having loaded them into the car, where their spiffy red outfits match the velour upholstery and promised they’ll talk about “what happens next” (again, is this really FBI jurisdiction? Fox Mulder counselling bereaved kids seems like a HORRIBLE plan to me) , Scully and Mulder note the girls attachment and somehow miss the horrifying expressions of murder on their creepy little faces.

Again though #aesthetic

Cue some spangly night driving music, Mulder looking all pops over a red vinyl steering wheel, Scully playing mom and the creepsters plotting murder in the back. Ver ver X-Files. They pull up to a used car lot masquerading as a rest stop and go for a group wee,Mulder makes the rookie error of a) hyping evil kids with sugar and b) letting them order a murder weapon, and as soon as Scully’s distracted, one of the creepsters, possibly Sinister Cindy creeps out to spike the drinks.

Now at this point, honestly, I’m questioning the kids narrative motives. Yes they’re murderous, but aren’t they also meant to be hyper intelligent? Amd getting marooned at a nowhere rest stop, with the corpses of two FBI agents seems SUPER dumb. Like they’re a bit small and loudly dressed to hitch a ride to Vegas and make it on the strip. What gives, creepsters?

The waitress tries to stop her plan by insisting she wait to take the soda until it’s paid for, but is way too easily placated by the kids excuse. Stick to your guns lady, you might just stop a murder.

Although apparently nobody is paying any attention because THIS ISN’T SUSPICIOUS AT ALL IS IT?

Apparently Mulder doesn’t think so, even knowing digitalis is sweet and that there is something weird afoot, he doesn’t question his super sweet diet drink or the kids totally normal and not at all weirdly resistant to drinking sugar free soda and just does this. Seriously it’s like he wants to die in agony.

Scully’s not much better, simply commenting on the “syrupy” taste. MMhmm. Bitch. You’re a medical doctor with a previously voiced suspicion. Quit sipping the murder juice.

Fortunately, after some suspenseful drawn out paying and a forgotten key excuse, Mulder FINALLY twigs when he finds some green goop on the table. Apparently murderTwin is cackhanded when she pours and Mulder, having licked the poison just to check it’s murdery enough (I just cant even) rushes outside to karate chop Scully’s drink away from her in a way so unsubtle that the creepers escape.

Which is actually great news because it gives us all the chance for a nice dark, X-Files bread and butter cat and mouse around a truckstop, cool lighting and tubey-arty stuff sequence. Which I’m here for.

Despite some pants ruining puddles, the twins are quickly apprehended except for some gun wielding truckers interfere because in this universe regular citizens can hold law enforcement at gunpoint and prevent them doing their job/identifying themselves and anyway everyone almost gets shot and the kids run off again. I should probably insert some pithy political point here about arming the kids too but I’ve been writing this review for 84 years and I don’t have the energy.

Fortunately, at this point Mulder and Scully rediscover some investigative nous and having flashed an ID and truckboy, they trick Sinister and Creepy into thinking they’ve sped off after a school bus. Mulder goes full on child catcher and nabs them with a “gotcha” and is finally deaf to their “we’re just little girls” plea.

I’d like to take a second to flag up his response “that’s the last thing you are” because he’s wrong too. They are little girls, as well as psychopaths, and everyone’s insistence that they must be one thing or another is a device for narrative obfuscation as old as the bible. The appearance of beauty/youth/innocence is not mutually exclusive of the presence of malign intent or evil. Just ask Henry James/Oscar Wilde. Or me. I literally wrote a dissertation on this so. Yeah. They can be little girls and killers Mulder. Don’t be reductive.

But I guess we do need the simplicity of “this kid is evil” otherwise Mrs Reardon ripping her daughter out of a picture and burning it would be more conflicting and we’re only on season 1.

Likewise the disturbing concept of two eight year olds in a secure prison. I mean yes thy’re creepy but - duh duh dunnnnh - rescue is at hand! Eve 8 shows up for them and once again thy “just knew”. This is the kind of X-Files ending I love. This is the kidn of story I would have loved the revivals to pick up. Imagine (recast) grown Cindy and Teena, off doing murdery clone stuff. Yep. Okay. I’m done now. This is the end.

Except the score. Which is...

A solid “C” Grade (26/50)

Plot 6/10 - It’s entertaining and a good idea but I penalised it because it depends on Mulder and Scully being super slow on the uptake. That said, they do actually solve the case.

Mulder 6/10 - Mulder is in charge (thanks S1) and presents a mess of grieving brother, heroic car catcher and good cop. Good, in character stuff but not exceptional.

Scully 4/10 - Scully seems to forget she’d an MD and a badass here. She lets Mulder talk her out of (correct) suspicions, gets taken down in the action scene and generally second fiddles. She’s a cute mom but not the Scully we want to see.

USP 3/5 - This was an ambitious idea, beautifully presented, and while it didn’t quite get the polish to make it iconic it is memorable, creepy and a good representation of S1 bread and butter eps.

Other Characters 5/10 - These points are all for Harriet Harris. None for you creeper twins. None for you.

Bonus points 2/10 - One for being aesthetically pleasing. One for the dorky, cute, feeling out Mulder/Scully moments (motel urnghh) and also their mom and pop act at the rest stop.

That’s all for now folks. I’ll probably have the next one done this decade. Fire. Goodie.

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