#sprydecreates ch

[sprydecreates]

i don’t know you anymore

warnings: angst!

pairings: calum hood x [y/n]

type: full body ; 1k words ; angst ; she/her pronouns

summary: calum has been disconnected here recently. [y/n] confronts him about it.

a/n: like i said, i felt devastated, so i thought i’d write it out. i haven’t wrote angst in such a long time, so i hope it’s okay! let me know how it is :-)

ask box

“you’re just,” there’s a silence, and then a slow intake of air, “you’re not... you’re not who you were when we first met, calum.”

[y/n]’s voice is low, and unfolded; creasing every other moment. calum hasn’t called her back in quite some time. she’s on her voice memo app, practicing a confrontation that might ruin their relationship.

she’s already had a steady stream of tears that subsided, but after a brief thought, tears welped once more, “god fucking, dammit.” she pressed the button and stopped the recording. she’s sitting with her cheeks in her hands, trying to hide away from the sunset that’s invading her bedroom.

calum has been absent a bit too much recently. there have been days where he didn’t even text her until ten at night saying, “Hey, been a bit busy today. Sorry for not texting.” and then she wouldn’t hear from him for another seven hours. they have been together for ten months, but it feels like a lot less.

after calming herself down, she decides to fix the text residing in calum’s messages that eventually reads, “hey, we need to talk. please don’t say you’re busy, because i know you don’t have anything major planned tonight. let me know when you’re free.”

she hits send after re-reading it a few times, and stares at the screen, just waiting for it to say “Read 7:13 PM”. but it didn’t. she didn’t get an answer until 9:44 PM that said, “Okay, call when you’re ready”.

[y/n]’s entire body runs cold, and her hands slowly start to clam up. she takes a few deep breaths to stabilize herself, and then she rings him up. it rings four times before he answers, “hey.”

“hi.”

the silence from the both overpowers the static from the phone, “so, uh, how was your day?”

“good.”

“ah. that’s, good.”

“yeah.”

[y/n]’s tears pop in once more, uninvited this time. calum speaks up after hearing her sigh, “i can kind of guess what this’s about.”

“yeah.”

“you know i get busy, and i don’t mean to not text you back. i mean,” he pauses to return an emotionless sigh, “i thought you said you’d be okay with long distance and me working?”

“and i thought you said you would make me forget that distance was ever an issue for us.”

“[y/n] you know i can’t drop everything to come see you, i’ve told you-”

“it’s not about you physically being here calum.” they both pause, “it’s about you completely ignoring me. it’s about you going out and partying and living it up every other night, not telling me about it, and getting an attitude with me when you know why i’m upset. it’s you not giving a fuck about me anymore. it’s about-”

“don’t even start with that [y/n], you know i care about you-”

“clearly not calum!” her voice bumps up a pitch, and she’s slightly louder, “you don’t even care enough to text me good morning and goodnight anymore! you don’t let me know anything that’s going on with you! you leave me in the stupid ass, FUCKING dust calum! you CONSTANTLY forget about me! do you know how it makes me feel knowing that my boyfriend of ten fucking months doesn’t even like to text me back? doesn’t like to call me? sometimes i wonder if you even love me anymore!” [y/n] decompresses her chest, as she was unaware of holding it in that entire time. tears have started falling down her cheeks, and it’s evident in her cracking, nasally voice.

calum is silent, what a shocker. she remains quiet as well, apart from her subtle tearful inhales. calum finally speaks up after a moment, “i don’t know what to say, [y/n].”

she lets her head fall into her palms, an even worse feeling than before envelops her. she’s letting it all out, everything that she’s bottled up for the past four months is belting out of her. “i figured.” she knew how he was looking right now; slightly wide eyes that seemed pitiful, anxiously tapping his finger against his right thigh, probably biting the inside of his cheek. how fucking pathetic. “do you love me calum.”

he let a sharp exhale invade the room, and he sat quietly for a few seconds. “i, don’t... know.”

by this point, [y/n] is numb. she can’t feel her tears, or cheeks, or chapped lips, “that tells me all i need to know.”

“no, no,” she could hear him wave his hand to denounce her statement, “it’s not that. it’s just, i’ve been doing a lot of thinking here recently.” he paused to hear her confirm she’s listening, but she doesn’t, “um, and i think that, i just wanna be, alone.”

“then why didn’t you tell me this sooner.”

“i told you as soon as i figured it out.”

“no you didn’t. i’m having to force it out of you right now.” he doesn’t respond to that. “but then again, it’s on me for not confronting you sooner. if we would have gotten this out in the open earlier, i wouldn’t be feeling like this.”

“this is hurting me too [y/n].”

“no it’s not calum. you’re gonna hop off here and call one of your friends and be all ‘bring the booze i’m single as fuck’ and forget about me in an hour. that’s what you always do, anyway.”

she can hear him playing with his necklace through the speaker, he obviously wasn’t going to attest, because in the end, he knew she was right. she took one last defeated breath, “it was good while it lasted, but, i just, i can’t do this anymore. you’re not who you were when we first met, and, you’re just, not the man i thought was my soulmate. i’m sorry calum. bye.”

“bye [y/n].” he hung up before she registered what he said.

[y/n] sat in the same position for a good thirty minutes afterwards, her phone still in the same position as it was whenever it auto-locked after he ended the call.

she was going to just go to sleep as is, but her spare pillow still smells like his shampoo.

[sprydecreates]

red gatorade

warnings: mentions of drinking, character in a drunken state

pairings: calum hood x [y/n]

type: full body ; 861 words ; slight angst ; she/her pronouns

summary: a drunken calum arrives at [y/n]’s apartment. does he actually mean everything he says, or is it a drunken spew?

a/n: might make this into a mini series, but not sure yet. don’t wanna scare myself off with the thought. it’s not the longest thing i’ve written, but i wanted to put a read more since it contains drinking. hope u enjoy!

ask box

it’s 3:42 in the morning, and [y/n] wakes up to a third phone call from calum, “h-ello?”

“[yyy/nnnnnnnn]!!” he giggles into the phone, “you’ll never, ever in your wildest dreams, guess where i am right now.”

she sighs as she sits up in bed, prepared to go track down a drunken calum, “you better be on your way home calum!” this isn’t the first time he’s drunkenly called her.

“well,” she hears a bump near the front of the apartment, “right, okay. you see? i’m at your apartment right now. here i am. your welcome mat does say ‘come on in!’, [y/n]. so-”

she quietly laughs as she pushes herself off the mattress, “just give me a sec hun, let me get dressed.”

he whines into the phone, she can hear that he’s pulled it away and forgot he’s not on speaker phone, “i don’t mind if you wear those ‘go coconut’ panties around me. they’re nice! i’d wear em… actually can i have them?”

she shushes him on the phone, as she can hear him down the hall, “shut up, i’m almost there.”

he whispers into the phone, “okay, i’m still here, haven’t left. waiting for you.” his accent is very strong tonight, he must’ve been drinking whiskey.

[y/n] reaches the door and quietly unlocks it. she hangs up the phone once she sees calum outside, dressed pretty fancy. “you changed last minute again, huh? you look good.”

calum wraps his arms around her, holding onto her like they hadn’t seen each other just the other day. “thank you beautiful.”

she chuckles at his comment, the mixed smell of expensive cologne and apple flavored jack daniels engulfing her. wonder if he meant it this time, he claims to forget what all he’s said when he’s wasted. “c’mon, let’s get you in.”

they step inside, [y/n] heading to the fridge to grab a gatorade, “do you have a green one?” calum says as he hovers beside her.

“you know you don’t like the green ones honey.” he grunts softly, “is red okay?” he nods, and they head to her room.

once inside, calum lets himself fall face first onto [y/n]’s bed. he lets out a soft yet forceful sigh, and stays there for a few moments. she sits beside him, rubbing his shoulders lightly before he sits up, “can i stay here tonight? duke’s with luke, i locked my doors, and i’ll buy us breakfast in the morning?”

“of course cal, you know you’re more than welcome to.” he’s now facing her, still on the edge of her bed, “and before you ask, yes, you can sleep in your underwear. you’ve got sweats and pajama’s in the third drawer, too.”

he smiles half heartedly and rubs his thumb across her cheek, “love you [y/n].”

“love you too calum.”

he always does this. he always shows up and acts like him and [y/n] have been in love and dating for a good six years. and he always “forgets” what he said the morning after. does he not mean any of this shit?

[y/n] situated herself back in bed as she waits for calum to come back from the bathroom. she’s zoned out, thinking about what it’d be like if he actually loved her back.

calum saunters in, shutting the door behind him before taking off his pants. he climbs into the other side of bed and takes a gulp of gatorade before laying down next to her. they face each other, like they always do. he invites her to cuddle, and they tangle their legs together; their bare skin comforting each other under the sheets. he comes close to kissing her, but opts for kissing her nose. “i’d marry you if you wanted to marry me.”

“i’m sure, cal.” third time he’s said that. “you always say that when you’re drunk.”

“i always mean it too.”

“mhm.” she closes her eyes and he pulls her to his chest, “goodnight.”

“night, [y/n].”

in the morning, calum wakes up first. [y/n] has migrated to the other side of the bed. she always told him he was like a personal oven, and that she could only take a few minutes cuddled up to him. he remembers everything he said, he always did. he couldn’t ever tell her confidently that she means the world to him. that he thinks she’s the most beautiful woman he’s ever known. that he’s been in love with her for two years. he’s terrified that she’s just being nice to him, and finds him a burden.

but as he watches her sleep, he can’t stop thinking about what it’d be like to be consciously held by her. to tell her he loves her as soon as the sunlight comes through the curtains, and when the day turns dark. what it’d be like to have something good for once.

while he was thinking, she had woken up and mumbled a ‘good morning’ to him. he didn’t register it. so she spoke up again and said, “thinkin’ about what we’re having for breakfast that you so happily said you’d buy?”

he didn’t register that either, apparently, “i’m in love with you.”

oh shit.

[sprydecreates]

thinking about words of affirmation and physical touch being your top love languages, and calum giving all he’s got to you.

you’re out getting dinner from a place where you order at the window and take it off somewhere. the sun is setting, and it’s golden hour.

you’re both standing away from the window, after you’ve already ordered your food. you’re talking about how excited you are to try it, and it’s been on your bucket list for awhile now. calum’s standing there listening and smiling; he’s watching you intently.

when you finally look up and ask him what he’s doing, he says, “just listening. well trying to, at least.”

you mutter a, “what do you mean?”

he whisks a hair away that’s close to your eye while speaking, “you look so beautiful right now, it’s hard to concentrate.” his smile grows wider as the ball of his hand rests against your warming cheek. his thumb is moving back and forth slowly, letting you know he’s there if it wasn’t clear before.

you turn your head to hide a huge smile, and he kisses your forehead and chuckles, “it’s true,” into your hair.

your order is called out, and calum jogs to grab it. he comes back and offers you his hand while doing the grabby hand motion to try and entice you more. you laugh and grab ahold of his hand, interlacing your fingers together.

you’re walking back to your apartment, where he’s planning on staying the night. in your bed with you. where he’ll give you a goodnight kiss or fifteen at least, rub your back until you fall asleep and tell you, “goodnight my love, see you in the morning,” right before you do.

[sprydecreates]

“i miss you,” coming from calum’s mouth.

it’s a different tone.

he says it five seconds after she left to go home. it’s in a ‘come back we were having fun’ way. his pitch goes grovely at the “you” to show his displeasure.

he says it when she’s not able to join the get together with the guys. his words slur, as he’s usually a few shots deep before he calls her and tells her all the repeated “gossip” that they both heard about two days ago. he’s whiney, and often audibly pouts at the end of the phrase to show her he means business.

he says it when they’re thousands of miles apart and there’s a 14 hour time difference. they don’t get to talk too much, as one of them is usually going to sleep while the other is wide awake in the daylight. this showcases an exasperated shift in key from him. he acts as though it’s the end of the world when they can’t verbally speak for so long.

but this time, it wasn’t like that. his voice was filled with sorrow and love as if they were in a heated affair. calum laid on his side in bed, his side profile mashed against the pillow with his phone on the opposite ear. he spoke softly, as if he was afraid of even her hearing him.

maybe he didn’t want her to hear. maybe he shouldn’t tell her that he likes to fall asleep to her snoring on the other end of the phone. and that he can’t stop daydreaming about holding her hand. or that he stole a shirt of hers and takes it with him whenever he has to go. he convinced himself that he’d be better off not telling her he was falling in love with her.

she knew. just recently, but she did. ashton pulled her aside at their last lunch meet up and plainly told her that calum is on cloud nine whenever he’s around her. she’s not been able to take him out of her thoughts since the day she met him. she planned on telling him the next time they were together, but it looks like he beat her to it. all that’s left is to say, “i miss you too, calum. always have.”

[sprydecreates]

[y/n] accompanies calum to soundcheck one day, as do the rest of the girlfriends. the guys make a joke how the girls should preform a song, but [y/n] and sierra take it as a challenge. next thing you know, all the girls are standing on stage, each handling their boyfriends instruments.

[y/n] is the only one who they haven’t heard genuinely sing, so they make it a point to have her be the lead singer. the girls decided on “she’s kinda hot”.

after the set which, granted, went a little better than expected considering the only one proficient in playing is sierra, calum says, “[y/n] you never told me you could sing?!”

she stands stiff in a satirical manner, “i couldn’t tell you, it’d sound like i was dating you just to get famous. i mean that is the only reason i’m dating you, but you didn’t have to find that out early on.”

calum laughs alongside everyone else while walking over to her, slipping his bass over her head, “if you get more famous than me, we’re gonna have to break up. too much of a power dynamic.”

“oh agreed,” she cups his cheeks, “i can’t be seen dating someone with a lower social status than mine!” she giggles at the end of her sentence and presses a soft kiss to calum’s lips.

the boys go to resume their places on stage, calum slowly following suit, “i love you, even if you’re a social climber.”

[y/n] returns a toothy smile, “i love you, mainly for letting me climb.”

they both share a gentle laugh as [y/n] hops off the stage and stands with the girls once more. as they start playing ‘san francisco’ as per [y/n]’s request, crystal whispers to her, “he’s head over heels in love with you.”

as she speaks, [y/n] and calum lock eyes, and he begins to smile after a few seconds. her smile slowly spreads watching calum shyly glance away, “god i hope so.”

[sprydecreates]

calum has a secret tiktok because his best friend [y/n] begged him to download it; primarily so she wouldn’t have to save so many to her phone.

he treated the app like most people do, acting as if he never got on it. but as [y/n] kept sending him videos, he tended to get on it more and more. sooner than later, calum was caught up to all the trends and was sending [y/n] more videos than she was sending him.

there was one trend in particular that calum wanted to do with [y/n], and it happened to be the “i kissed my best friend” trend. he’d been planning how to do it for months, and decided he was going to pull it off when she comes over later.

calum has liked her for awhile now, but he’s been too scared to admit it to her. so what better way than to share a kiss on camera?

calum is sat in front of his computer with [y/n] by his side. he sets up his phone, hits record and says, “okay, so here’s a new song i’ve been working on. i wanna get your initial reaction.”

[y/n] raises an eyebrow, looking at the camera and then to him, “alriiight.” she laughs softly, amused and confused.

calum mutters to himself as he’s finding the file to play. he covered the song to give it more of a special moment, and he titled it as “a chance”; to which she said she liked the ambiguity of the name.

the first few cords hit, and she immediately recognizes the song, “wait, what?”

he turns to look at her as the build up continues, “what?”

she cocks her head back, a wide smile forming, “is this real? is this for a tiktok?”

he shrugs, a smile already at each ear, “could be.”

“you–wait really? you really wanna kiss me?” [y/n]’s heart is racing, and her hands have started to shake from excitement.

“if that’s alright with you, i absolutely would.”

[y/n] holds calum’s face in her hands, letting out a brief exhale before pulling him to her lips as the songs main point begins. his hands gently find their way to her neck, and the back of her head. they both lean sideways, losing their balance from the exertion.

they calm down as the song does, both pulling away and regaining eye contact. they’re breathless for a moment before [y/n] speaks up, “thank god i forced you to get tiktok.”

[sprydecreates]

[y/n] and calum have been dating for a few months. calum was secretly in love with her, she was secretly in love with him. they were both hesitant to tell the other because they only met in person a few times. after hearing all the “you don’t know if you love someone you’ve only met three times!!” jargon, they decided to keep it to themselves.

until one night when they joined a small house party hosted by [y/n]’s friends. everyone was staying the night, so they all drank a fair amount. by the end of the night, calum is drunk, and [y/n] is wasted.

after saying goodnight to everyone, they haphazardly drag each other up the stairs to the spare bedroom.

they’re taking their time changing, mainly because they have the spins. both of them giggling in their underwear, just staring at each other until they get fully dressed in their pajamas.

as they’re laying down, calum wraps his arm around [y/n] and pulls her close, “you,” he starts giggling before he even starts the sentence, “you! you, are good. you’re really good at keeping your drinks down!”

she’s giggling with him, “thank you! i ALWAYS use it as a party trick. gets me, like, a lot of hoots.”

he starts laughing, “hoots?!” his accent becomes thicker with confusion.

“HOOTS!” now the both of them are wallowing in laughter, both of them laying on their backs with tears rolling down their cheeks.

after at least two minutes of cackling, they start to calm down. [y/n] leans over and grabs a tissue from the box on the nightstand, handing one to calum, “here you go!”

calum whines, “i’m so too tired to do that myself.”

[y/n] wipes her own eyes and then carries on to wiping calum’s. he’s for some reason trying to kiss the tissue. [y/n] leans down and presses a kiss to, well, half of his lips anyway. as she pulls back, she says, “you are, SOO lucky, that i am probably in love with you.”

calum snaps back into momentary sobriety with this comment, “wait, what did you just say?”

[y/n] slumps back into his side, throwing an arm over his stomach, her eyes already closed, “huh?”

“what did you say then?”

she’s starting to drift to sleep already, tired from the booze in her system, “good, question… i, do not, remember.”

calum is left with a breaking smile, and more tears brimming, “i’m most definitely in love with you too. if you didn’t say that though ignore that.”

[y/n] is already asleep, but calum makes a note on his phone so he won’t forget about it in the morning. wonder how that’ll turn out?

[sprydecreates]

you’re sat outside at about 8 pm finishing a report for college when calum strolls out with a sandwich, “about done?” you nod, explaining that you’re at the conclusion and you’d be done in a few minutes.

he takes a bite out of his sandwich and watches you type the last few sentences, “th’ moons pretty tonight.”

you hum in agreeance, and without thinking too hard about it, mumble, “so are you.”

you see, you and calum had always play flirted. there were times when it was borderline obnoxious and overzealous, and others when it was soft and more genuine. did you mean it sometimes? absolutely. were you ever gonna tell him? no!

“oh, my god. you? think I’M pretty?”

“you know i think you’re pretty calum.”

he sets his plate on the side table to his right, clasping his hands together in an over exaggerated fashion, “i’d like to thank the lucky stars in the sky tonight for this compliment. i’d like to thank my wonderful mother, joy, for raising me to be this pretty; my dad, david, for-“

your exhausted giggle interrupts his speech, “there is no reason for you to be this extra at this hour.”

calum leans his gaze towards you again, the moonlight beaming onto him, “y/n you gave me a compliment that wasn’t followed by ‘i was being forced to say that’. i’m gonna make the most out of this situation.”

you give him a plausible annoyed facial expression while you shut your laptop, “shut up.”

“make me.”

his risky tone catches you off guard, “what did you say to me?”

“i said: make me.”

calum says this all the time, but it’s usually in a ‘fight me right here right now’ tone. this was a ‘do something about it’ tone; the one that people use in movies to get the other person to kiss them.

in response, you twist your body to face him and prop your elbow on your chairs arm, “how exactly do you want me to do that?”

he mimics you, propping his chin in his hand but instead of on his own chair, he chooses to use yours, “not sure yet.” his eyes flicker from your eyes to your lips. he had done this before, but would always pull away and say, “you dream of kissing me”, which wasn’t fake news. this time though, he stayed still. he was as serious as he could be.

seeing this sudden change of atmosphere, you had to test him, “are you actually flirting with me?” it was said in a hushed, rather shocked whisper.

“what if i am,” his voice was uncertain for the first time around you, “is that okay?”

you manage a shrug, “as long as you don’t say sike afterwards.”

calum’s smile brightens the night, his eyelashes move the light on his face around as he squints out of happiness. he’d been waiting to make a move, but wasn’t ever sure if you were reciprocating the flirting as a joke, or if it meant a little more.

he was lost in the thought of kissing you when you encouraged him to do so, “you can.”

“huh?”

“did you want to kiss me, or were you just gonna stay three inches from my face and let me smell bologna breath?” you said while moving your propped hand to cup his cheek.

“the latter preferably.”

so, you two finally kissed. under the moonlight, under all the stars congratulating you on a true loves first kiss like it was the end of a romantic comedy. yeah yeah, this ain’t a movie yada yada. does it make it one if you told calum you were going to sleep in your own room only to come back into his ten seconds later claiming to have had a nightmare and that you needed to sleep with him, though?

[sprydecreates]

you and calum are going on a first date, and he posts a picture of you two on insta afterwards. the picture is of him standing behind you and smiling while you are brushing your teeth. everyone is kinda surprised, but thinks it’s really cute.

instead of commenting something sweet to match his “First date, kinda nervous” caption, you comment “this is fake, this man straight up BROKE into my house. notice the shocked look on my face in the second pic”.

to say the least, fans started commenting things like “holy fuck y/n that’s scary!”; “This Man Is Named Calum Hood, Be On The Lookout”; and a fan favorite, “this one right here officer”.

it was a pretty good date, nonetheless.

[sprydecreates]

no offense, but imagine you and calum are best friends.

you stay over at calum’s one night when he’s back in town, which is a regular thing. you’re in the bathroom about to brush your teeth before hopping in bed, and he walks to the door frame and asks, “alright if i step in and join you?”

you think nothing of it, until you look up a few seconds after brushing and see cal staring at you through the mirror with wide, soft eyes. you raise an eyebrow, mumble a “what” with a toothpaste filled mouth; giggling at how you sound before washing your mouth out.

calum shook his head, continuing to brush his teeth after realizing he had completely stopped. you shrug and make a noise to say “alright” and step out. once you leave the room he just stands there with rosy cheeks, staring at himself and thinking, “what the fuck?”

you’re sat on the edge of his bed, waiting for him to finish to say goodnight. once he’s out of the bathroom, you can tell he’s a bit confused, “you okay?”

he nods, jumping a bit at your voice, “yeah, fine. i think i love you. why?”

you shrug, “ya just seemed a bit off.” the running air conditioner in the background filled the room, “well if that’s all, i’m headin’ off to bed. night cal. i love you.”

“night y/n.”

you both lay in empty beds, hearts racing thinking about if that moment could reoccur one day, when you’re happily married with three rescued dogs and a toothbrush holder that says “the hoods”.

[sprydecreates]

ferry lookout

requested: nope

warnings: mentions of drinking, language

pairings: calum hood x reader

type: fluff w an angst scene ; headcanon/list ; 3.4k+ words ; gender neutral

summary: you and college!calum finally thought you had found something with each other. too bad there was a miscommunication. or is it?

a/n: i originally intended for this to be a valentine’s day thing, but it never felt right for it. so i spruced it up, and i think it finally feels decent.

i’ve been off my writing game for a bit, so i’m sorry if it feels different halfway through (this is due to being off me game and also changing the idea completely). hope you like it either way! i think it’s sweet.

it was a kind of restless night, and you and calum were having a drive to a lookout.

everyone had things to do, except cal.

ash had a night at the club

mike and luke were studying for an exam they both had the following day

so, cal texted you and asked if you wanted to hang out.

you and calum exchanged numbers the semester before

you sat together for economics, and contacted each other for homework help usually

since it was during spring semester, you both went your separate ways for summer, and didn’t really contact each other

there were the occasional likes on instagram, and texts of memes about how awful the professor was, but nothing else

pretty much an excuse for you two to still talk

you both thought the other was cute, but you didn’t know how to come forward with it. as, you could see, all you two talked about was class, and memes relating to the class

when classes started again, you got a text from calum asking what you were taking

you didn’t have any of the same classes, as your majors were polar opposites

but, he did wish you a good year, and said if you needed any help with your math course, he’d be glad to help

you two spoke every other day, but nothing huge

the lookout was popular with locals, but you hadn’t ever went up there, or heard of it rather, so calum insisted that was where you two would go.

initially, you were just going to grab some late night snacks and head back to his apartment

but on the way, you passed the lookout.

“where’s that little road go?”

“what do you mean where does it go?”

“uh, like, is there a house up there?”

calum pointed to the lookout sign, “are you talking about that one? with the huge ass sign saying ‘ferry lookout’?”

“so, it leads to a lookout?”

“...have you never been?”

“no..? is it big or something?”

calum gives you a playful side eye, then focuses on the road again, “i’ve been up there so many times i can’t count. i can’t believe you’ve never heard of this place. this calls for a change of plans, we’re going up there.”

so, after grabbing your respective late night favorites, you and calum headed towards the lookout.

on the drive, you took this opportunity to ask calum how long he has lived here

“uhh, like. five years, maybe?” calum answered while turning into the road to the lookout.

“ah, i see. so you’re from australia, right?”

“yup. accent give it away?”

“yeah, i mean i noticed you say your i’s like ‘oi’. like you pronounce your friend michael’s name as ‘moie-kol’. but i noticed on instagram that that’s where you went for summer, and you have sydney as your hometown.”

“oh, yeah. i always go back home for the summer to see my family.”

“wait so you’re out here on your own?”

the car neared the parking spaces for the overlook, and calum parked the car in the middle of the lot before continuing his story, “yup. i, well, me and my friends, moved here when we were younger for our band. i was about seventeen at the time.” calum reached into the 7-eleven bag and popped open his bag of pretzels, “we moved here because our first album went kinda big, at least on social media. so we made the choice to pack up, and see what america had for us. we got here, got too cocky, and it all went to shit. had to go back home for a little, live with my parents, save enough money, and then came back.”

“well?” you had already gotten your snack ready, munching from time to time while calum spoke.

“you want the full story?” he glanced over to you, chuckling a bit after seeing you scrunched up in the passenger seat, eager to hear his story for once.

“hell yeah! i wanna know what happened to this band of yours. pleeeeease?”

he quickly swallowed the pretzel he was chewing, and took a gulp of his slurpee, “okay okay, fine. we’re called bromance, by the way. but after we came back, we were still together, just not so hard. like, instead of us making music for fame, we made it because we wanted to. like we sat back in straya talking about what we needed to do, cause we went from thinking we’d hit it big, to having to ask our parents for money for a plane ticket back home. we already had two year leases on two apartments, and we couldn’t exactly break them, so we worked until we had enough money to cover a few months rent on our own, and then we came back. got more jobs, and stabled ourselves.”

you nodded, and closed your jaw which had been slacking with admiration, “is that why you went to college here too?”

he nodded back to you, “mhm. that’s why i’m twenty-two and in second year classes still - i could only afford to take like three courses per semester, if that.”

you held up a hand and shook your head, tilting it downward while doing so, “no judging here, i’m only here because i won a scholarship. i’d be back in my hometown in the local community college if it wasn’t for it, honestly.”

calum raised an eyebrow, “damn, you got a scholarship?”

“yeah, i wrote an essay about my life struggles, and they gave it to me.” you shrugged, and then realized how ungrateful you sounded, “don’t get me wrong, i’m grateful for it, i just don’t see how i got in with it.”

calum pushed and stretched out his bottom lip in both agreement and confusion before he spoke, “well, it must’ve been good if you got in.”

“eh, whatever. tell me more about you, though. i wanna know about your family, and this little bird named ‘mali’ you have tattooed on you.”

for the next hour or so, you and calum explored each others past, and present. the conversation kind of went dry when it came back to this lookout, as you two pretty much knew everything about it that you needed to.

calum was staring out at the vast lights carrying the city to sleep, and he spoke softly to keep the mood, “i still can’t believe you’ve been here for two years and you haven’t been up here. it’s like, the most romantic spot i know.”

you scoffed, raising your hand and shooing off his last comment, “bold of you to assume anyone has asked me on a date since i got here.”

he scrunched the left side of his lip up while looking over to you, “you’re kidding.”

“well, halfway,” you began, lightly speaking with your hands, “i’ve been asked out, but it’s only to fuck.”

calum turns his head back to the view, “i can see that. i never got that bit; i love going on dates, and hanging out and stuff. i don’t know why it’s been looked at as a joke from 2017 on.”

“right?!” you snap your head to calum, “it’s like, what the fuck ever happened to just chilling with a person for a couple of weeks or something and getting to know them that way instead of playing an over-sexualized game of twenty-one questions?”

calum widened his eyes, pointing his index finger at you while you spoke, “honestly!” you two exchanged feelings about current relationships standards and past relationship complications, until it got kind of serious on calum’s ends: “that’s why i don’t really believe in love. cause like, i always try to be a nice guy, like an actually nice one and not a ‘m’lady’ neckbeard thing, but i always get fucked over. and i try, but it’s like, why even attempt if you know something will never come to you?”

you sighed, nodding along with what he was saying, “i get that. but at the same time, you gotta look at the world around you. there’s what, nine or ten billion people in the world that you haven’t met?”

“yeah, but it’s like, if i were meant to fall in love, shouldn’t i have already found a trace of something real?”

you raised your eyebrows, gaining a stern but gentle tone with him, “calum you can’t base love off of what you got when you were seventeen and in your first real relationship. we were kids, and we’re bound to break ‘love’, no matter what age we are. people fall in love at forty, some at twenty - some with their hometown best friend, some with a person halfway across the world. love isn’t dead because it didn’t happen to you like it did in the movies. wouldn’t you rather have something real as to something scripted?”

and with that, calum mentally took note, and decided maybe he’d give love a chance again.

but, that was roughly four and a half months ago.

it was now the end of april, and you and calum had gotten closer than ever.

after the night drive and you both got home safely, he texted you and said, “Thanks for a fun night. It’s cliche as hell, but I think you’ve opened my eyes a bit. Hope to hang soon.”

of course, you two hung out two days after. and two days after that. and after that, and so on.

it was really cute though

lots of sweet banter

couple of deep conversations at each others apartments at two in the morning

which would turn into sleep overs after you two talked more

comments on instagram that were kinda flirty, but still open-ended

any lovey dovey stuff, really

your notes on calum:

really, really good guy. god tier guy.

very romantic, but not a huge fan of pda

humble

insecure but passes it off as humor and refuses to take a compliment or believe someone might like him

offers you hoodies when it’s upwards of seventy-five degrees inside

has made you several home cooked meals

doesn’t shame you or put you down if you’re having bad mental health days and need space

says your name reeeeaaaalllly giggly if he’s feeling soft

knows stan language and actually made a stan account for his own band to secretly interact with fans because you told him about an au where that happens

he of course didn’t tell you to make a stan account for him so you can recreate said au

brought you back a surfboard key chain with your name on it from his trip to australia for christmas

you’re in love with him

calum’s notes on you:

realistic

pushy in the right ways

honest, but sometimes in a backhanded compliment type of way

fashion forward, has given him a couple of new styles to work with

encourages him to try new things and to fully be himself

plays with his hair in order for him to fall asleep

leads to cuddling because he had his arm around your waist and head on your upper torso

gives him confidence to try out ‘feminine’ things (painted nails, (heart stud) earrings, etc)

up to talk about his problems with him

gets along with his friends, and doesn’t act weird because they went viral a couple of times

also interacts with fans as though you’re a stan account yourself

stays around to help with homework, even if you don’t know a thing about what he’s doing

comfortable silence is brought up here too

he’s in love with you

spring is of course, the season of budding romance. or, at least it is to you.

you know, flowers blooming, warm sunsets and seeing each other in golden hour, an overwhelming sense of acoustic guitar playing in the background; that sort of thing.

so, you know what that means?

you decide to ask calum out on a date.

yeah, you! you know he likes you, what could go wrong? 

on a friday evening, you got dressed up, and decided to take calum on a fancy dinner date.

you were ready to go at about six, and gave calum a ring.

“hey (y/n)!”

“hey calum,” you were smiling ear to ear at this point, “whatcha up to?”

“eh, nothing too big. what about you?”

“oh, you’re up to something?”

“umm! kinda but not really?”

your smile drooped, and your tone changed, “oh, alright. cool.”

calum was silent for a second before speaking in a concerned, soft tone, “everything alright?”

you were breathing in through your nose to stop the tears brimming, “yeah, not a problem. i’ll leave you to it. see you.”

what the fuck?!!?!!!!!!!!!!/!?!!!!!!!!!e,me39834,m?!?!?!?

calum? going out????

he wasn’t seeing anyone?E>.dW>QDLWE<

oh my god it was that girl commenting on his pictures that he followed back

he played you

oh my GOD he played you and you LET IT HAPPEN. YOU THOUGHT HE WAS THE ONE FOR YOU AND HE SAT AND SWEET TALKED YOU INTO BELIEVING HE LIKED YOU TOO AND PROBABLY GOT MAD BECAUSE YOU DIDN’T LET HIM HIT IT YET

YOU KNEW WHEN HE SAID HE WASN’T A M’LADY HEADASS THAT HE WAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

coincidentally, your best friend, (y/f/n) called:

“hello?”

“hey! whats up?”

since you and calum were never an official ‘thing’ (even though you told your friends you thought something would happen), you decided to keep it calm, “not a thing, why?”

“wanna come help me get ready? i’m going to the club an-”

“sure, be over in ten.”

(y/f/n) seemed a bit off, but you didn’t really pay attention. you were just trying to get wasted, and throw away the feelings you thought were finally, fine.

this being said, you two jetted to the club.

“hey, (y/n)?” (y/f/n) asked, turning their head to face you.

you turned your head to (y/f/n) while you waited in line to get into the building, “what?”

“is everything, like, good?”

you turned away from them, nodding once, “i’m gonna make it be.”

about an hour and a half after you both got into the club, you received a text from calum.

“You busy?”

left on read

“If u sent something, I never got it”

left on read

“Is everything okay?”

left on read

“Dude what’s going on?”

you rolled your eyes, and angrily slid your phone onto the table in front of you, grabbing what’s left of your second drink and taking a swig. (y/f/n) watched and started to question.

“what’s up?”

you finally broke, “calum.”

(y/f/n) rose an eyebrow, “what about him?”

you sighed, “i finally thought we were gonna be something. i thought he liked me, but right when i got up the courage to ask him out, he told me he had something planned.”

(y/f/n)’s eyes widened, and they started to stutter, “he uh, he said he had something, planned? when? like right now?”

you nodded while you spoke, “yeah,” your hand flew from the crossed position it was in and pointed to your upside down phone, “right before you called, he told me he had something to do.”

“what do you think he’s doing?”

“no clue. he usually tells me he’s going out with his band mates, cause he had to call me one night to help him get one of ‘em home. so he’s always told me to keep me on standby. this time, he seemed really giddy, and like nervous.” you sat quiet for a few seconds, debating on whether or not to stop yourself from tearing up again, “so i’m guessing he found someone and didn’t wanna tell me.”

(y/f/n) picked up their phone halfway through you speaking, probably to look people up to mark out suspected people for later, “i dunno (y/n), i think you’re over thinking a bit.”

you gave (y/f/n) a defeated sigh, shrugging afterwards, “i don’t know. i mean i hope not, but i’m not gonna hold my breath.”

after a few minutes of tense silence, (y/f/n) suggests you two leave, and head back to your apartment to talk.

on the way back, you got to complain about how you thought calum was made for you.

(y/f/n) did keep smiling weirdly. were they the one calum was seeing?   

thoughts came to a standstill, though.

why?

calum’s car was in the parking lot.

or at least it looked like it. you didn’t have his tag memorized, obviously.

(y/f/n) parked, and finally turned to you with a not really well hidden smile, “sorry you thought something was up.”

you had your eyebrows furrowed, “what?”

all they said was, “have fun,” and ushered you out of their car.

you, although confused, walked up to the front door and started towards your room.

when you unlocked your door, you heard a soft guitar playing from what sounded like your living room.

you tiptoed into the dimly lit room, and turned the light switch on. there sat calum, a yellow tinted acoustic guitar sat on his thigh as he strummed it, and started to sing the good side by troye sivan.

it was one of those songs you told calum about, and how it reminded you of him.

not in a ‘we broke up and one of us felt worse than the other’ way, but more or less, ‘we’ll meet in the spring’, as you two did come back to each other during that season; ‘traveled the universe twice’, where he came from australia and stayed by fate; ‘i got the good side’, as you found growth and goodness through each other in hard times. so, in a ‘i love you, and the universe wanted us together’ way.

throughout the song, you had found yourself sat in front of calum, your heart beating as though you had just ran a marathon, and it only sped up as the song ended.

you sat with your palms pressed against the insides of your calves, staring at calum as he let a wide smile settle on his face. he spoke while he sat his guitar on the table in front of the couch where you both sat, “sorry about lying.”

you finally found the strength to whisper, “about?”

he had positioned himself closer to you, now looking into your eyes, “being busy. i mean, i was kinda busy, setting this place up and all.”

you took the opportunity to look around for once, seeing that he had picked up a bundle of your favorite flowers, and scattered them around the room. he had a couple of candles lit that you had smelled since you walked in. and you didn’t know if he meant to, but he was wearing the shirt he wore when you two went to the overlook for the first time.

after taking it all in, you turned back to him, “you did this, all, for me?”

he nodded, giggling a little at your surprise, “mhm. you look beautiful, by the way.”

“wait, did you know?”

“know what?”

“that i liked you?”

“wait, you?” he cocked his head to the side, trying to form a sentence.

“yeah? i was going to take you out to dinner tonight, and like when you said you were busy, that’s why i got so distant, cause i you know thought you were entertaining someone and i got jealous-”

you were cut off by calum cupping your cheeks, “i’m so sorry, i didn’t think to word it differently i just thought you were having like, a night or something and got annoyed not because you thought i liked someone else.”

your palms found their way to calum’s cheeks as well, “no it’s nothing now, i just got freaked out and overreacted without giving you a chance. i’m sorry too.” calum had started to rub his thumbs against your cheekbones, and it threw off your thought process a bit.

this was all you wanted. this, is all you wanted, and it’s right here in front of you; rambling, and shaking, and loving.

“please.” you shook out of your realization, and asked him to repeat himself, “kiss me, please. i’ll pay you if need be.”

to say the least, he paid you in rent money when he moved in five months later, in tickets used to meet his and your family, in presents exchanged during holidays, in a down payment on a house, in baby clothes for your four dogs, and obviously, in all the love he had ever given / had for anyone he had ever met: you. his soulmate that he fell in love with due to an unplanned first date.

[sprydecreates]

endgame

requested: nope

warnings: drinking, heartbreak, extreme self doubt, language

pairings: calum hood x reader

type: angst ; actual body writing (my rat brain doesn’t know what to officially call it) ; 1.9k words ; gender neutral 

summary: rejecting calum wasn’t planned, or wanted. was it for the best?

a/n: hi! i felt like breaking hearts on this good day. was looking for a header earlier, and seen lyrics from halsey’s ‘sorry’ and thought it’d be a wonderful song to write about in a sense.

also gonna try and actually write, not just a hc list this time. hope it’s good! didn’t necessarily proof read it out of fear of hating it so sorry if there are any misspellings or anything.

let me know how you feel about it!

it’d been a couple of months since you moved to california, and things were going pretty nicely. you got back into college, and were excelling. your job was sable, and rather flexible with your schedule and requests for time off. that was great, considering calum was finally back from visiting his family australia.

you had met calum while moving in, considering your apartment was in the same complex as ashton’s (where he was heading). he and ashton helped you move in, as you and a couple of friends who came along to help were struggling on the sidewalk with your hand-me-down couch.

the next day, calum came knocking at your door to see if you were settled alright. you were in the middle of unpacking dishes, and he asked if he could help you. you agreed, cause, why not have a cute australian boy help you move in? he just never left after that; even though he told ashton he’d get to his place soon.

the days have went on, and as cliche as it sounds, you both bonded and eventually had designated cups at each others houses (his is a meme mug that you bought that says “happiness is friends fishing together”, yours is a game of thrones cup with a sword as the handle), matching blankets (that were picked up on a late night target run; his says “mrs” and yours says “mr”), and swapped a pillow each, so you’d be comfortable sleeping.

things were going pretty well, to say the least. only thing that scared you, was rejection. did you like calum? yes, a little too much, but you told yourself several times that it wasn’t love. since it’s convenient to find out about him online, you decided to see if you were his type. seems as though you weren’t, from the girls he was rumored to date at least.

considering this, you called your best friend from your hometown, and explained everything going on. their only advice, was that you needed to talk to calum; they couldn’t tell if calum liked you, or was just being friendly. feeling nervous and hesitant, you invited him over for the chat.

like most of the times when you have a crush, you sat and debated on whether or not you were up for heartbreak. you had never really felt heartbreak, because no one had ever returned your interest for a significant amount of time. so, you didn’t know how to proceed. do you risk telling calum, and getting nothing in return and live your life alone? do you tell him and get a healthy relationship that you’ve convinced yourself would never be endgame?

when calum finally arrived at your apartment, you had cried all you could thinking about every way he could reject you, or how it would end. at this point, you were happy you didn’t have to go through anything that could blindside you.

after catching up, calum brought up the idea of the party, “so, me ‘nd ash were thinking about having a get together with all our friends now that we’re back. to like, catch up with everyone. you wanna come?”

“who all will be there,” you questioned, setting your cup of koolaid down.

“the guys, their girls, some friends.”

“very extensive list, thank you calum,” you joked, raising your eyebrows to signal so. it was nice, feeling comfortable after hours of terror sweats.

he let out a breathy laugh, “sorry, i really only know for certain about eight people. maybe more, maybe like one less.” he sat his fishing cup down, and looked up for your reaction.

you shrugged, thinking more about ‘their girls’ and ‘friends’ and which one you were categorized as, “when?”

he noticed your expression change, “uh, i think this friday but i’ll have to make sure.”

you nodded, “okay, i should be free.”

there was a small silence before calum cleared his throat and stood up, “well i should uh, prolly get going. supposed to meet ‘shton in a bit for dinner.”

you stood up and followed him to the door, “alright, have fun?”

calum turned when you ended your sentence with a question, and shadowed the doorway, “you good?”

you nodded again, tempting yourself to blurt out your thoughts but your fear took you over, “yeah, why?”

“you just,” he looked down at the tips of his shoes, moving them in an anxious manner, “seem, different? i don’t know, like you seem like somethings on your mind.”

“oh, nah,” there was, “just a bit tired,” a lie.

calum nodded, and stepped outside, “alright. i’ll let you know when everything will be set up, okay?”

“alright.”

“call you this evening?”

you nodded one last time and watched him disappear down the hall after your confirmation. after shutting and locking your door, you texted your friend and told her you chickened out, but were going to try and speak to him after the party.

wonderful. two more days of restless thinking, unbelievable amounts of notes written in your phone, and hours of staring into space just thinking of what could go wrong. calum calling didn’t help, either. he sounded more sweet, and soft than usual. or did he always sound like that? did he know about you maybe liking him and was trying to find ways of letting you down easily and this was step one?

ugh. the thought of it all made you sick. literally. friday came around, and you really had made yourself sick with worry. you wanted to get it over with, though. combating sickness AND heartbreak at the same time? undefeated combination. that being said, you didn’t bail. instead, you just showed up in sweats and a beat up old shirt.

no one was really dressed up, which was good for confidence measures, but horrible in the sense that you didn’t scream “i have a cold please don’t get infected”.

calum, however, thought you looked cute. like in a fanfic where you have your hair in a messy bun have on an old shirt that’s baggy but somehow shows off your figure sweats built the same way and you’re about to be sold to 5sos to pay off your parents debt. not that he said all that in one sentence, though.

throughout the evening, you noticed calum getting closer and closer to you, practically sitting on your lap after an hour. you didn’t mind all too much, but it was still strange to experience after all you’ve thought about. he seemed a bit, distant, though. he didn’t speak directly to you like he usually did, no hand on your thigh to push himself up, didn’t laugh at the same joke luke told whenever he popped a cap off of a bottle. something just didn’t, feel good.

after feeling a little dry and all too conscious, you decided to go into the kitchen and take a few shots; seeing as ashton and calum had migrated in there a couple of minutes ago. but, right when you get to the archway, you faintly hear the end of ashton’s sentence, “gonna do?”

calum’s voice came in after his, “i guess i’m just gonna have to tell y/n.”

that’s it. he knows. your heart rate shot up in mere seconds, and the tears made your eyes swell. you quickly turned and headed towards the bathroom, locking yourself in to cry a little bit. you couldn’t believe for a split second that you REALLY thought you were gonna have something. how could you be so gullible? the signs were all there. he was suiting you up to drop you from cloud nine. all the late night calls talking about life made him sick of you and he decided you weren’t the one for him. after that he noticed how much you liked him via the matching things, and it made him sick of you. he was sick of you. Sick. Of. You, and everything that you are to him.

you decided this wasn’t a reunion get together, this was a ‘goodbye y/n’ party. that’s why everyone was exceptionally inviting to you, because they knew you weren’t going to be around much longer, and they wouldn’t have to put up with you after this. if that’s the case, why not go out in style: drunk and pitiful.

you came out of the bathroom after several minutes of breathing in through your nose to stop the tears, and regain your composure. you head straight to the kitchen, nod to calum, ashton, and now sierra before pouring and downing a shot without saying a word. ashton laughs and cheers you on, as he’s never seen you do this before and thought it was a wave of encouragement. calum knows somethings wrong, but he doesn’t want to out you in front of people you aren’t entirely close with.

unfortunately for him, he doesn’t get any alone time with you until you’re five shots and two mike’s hard lemonades in. in other words, you were comprehensive, but your filter was gone and your emotions were bold. calum puts his hand on your shoulder once everyone is out of the kitchen, and asks whats wrong, “i know somethings off with you, y/n. you’ve never drank like this before.”

“not. a. thaaang,” you gave finger guns to him and ‘blew out’ the tips of your fingers.

he halfway smiled, but quickly furrowed his eyebrows and gave a stern look, “i’m serious.”

you shrugged, “me too. you think i, me, am joking?” you pushed his hand off your shoulder and turned to get another shot, but calum stopped you.

“y/n,” he said with his hand on yours, preventing you from lifting the shot glass, “we don’t have to talk about it, but are you sure you’re alright?”

you stopped. his hand was on yours, and that’s how it needed to be. you were staring at your hands, and everything was clear for a minute. you sobered up enough to say, “i heard you.”

he lowered his head, both confused and hard of hearing, “what?”

tears started to form again, “i heard you and ‘shton.”

calum let out a solemn breath and removed his hand from yours, certain this was taking a turn for the worst, “when?”

your breathing had hitched as you tried to stop yourself from crying, “a few minutes ago.” before calum could speak, you began your subtle rant, “i get it. i know i’ve been clingy, and weird, and overbearing and ugly and everything else. i know you don’t like me calum. i’ve fucking known that from day one, and i’m sorry i’ve known it.”

you continued with nonsense babbling until you realized how long you had been talking. calmly, and with tear stained cheeks, you told him goodbye, and that you wished you could be friends.

as you left the apartment and party, calum was left stood in the spot that he would later refuse to go near. he had tears of his own streaming down his face. he recalled his and ashton’s conversation from earlier:

ashton: dude, you’re getting reaaally cozy with y/n.

calum: yeah, i know.

ashton: is there, something... there?

calum: i don’t really, like know? i like y/n so fucking much. borderline love, i guess.

ashton: jesus man. what are you gonna do?

calum: i guess i’m just gonna have to tell y/n.

all this time, calum was the exact opposite of what you kept imagining. he built up the courage to talk to you about his feelings that night. because after all, he thought you were his soulmate: beautiful, smart, humble, different and the same in a puzzle piece manner. he was sure you were his endgame.

so, now what?

[sprydecreates]

spryde’s masterlist

hii, thank u for wanting to read some of my stuff!

updated august 29th, 2020

ask box (for feedback, questions and/or requests, or if u just wanna talk)

how to search: search up #sprydecreates [initials of who you’re looking to read about]! for example, #sprydecreates ch takes you to all the things i’ve created about calum hood!

disclaimer: i come up with my own perceptions of the people/characters i write about. meaning, all of my pieces are fictional.

full body’s and hc’s will have descriptions, but here’s a key for easy access:

headcanon: ☾

full body: ✉

blurb: *

fluff: ✿

angst: :(

nsfw (anything that contains nsfw will have a ‘read more’ bar, no matter how short or long it may be): ♡ 

actively writing about

calum hood

✿☾  ferry lookout 

✿☾  endgame 

✿*  you and calum are best friends who are secretly in love

✿*  you and an overly sarcastic calum kiss for the first time

✿*  calum posts about your first date

✿* love languages are words of affirmation and physical touch, and calum’s showing you all his love

✿* calum admits he misses her in a loving way

love island, the game

gary

:( * gary tells [y/n] his fears in a relationship, while she recalls a potential relationship between them

berries with breakfast series (on a standstill)

✿✉ part one

moodboard for berries with breakfast / irl gary

chelsea

“love is what would happen if you set a relationship on fire” moodboard

irl chelsea moodboard

retired or rarely written about

harrison osterfield

✿*  harrison has a crush on you

tom holland

✿☾ “HOMEmade”

✿☾  babylove’?

shawn mendes

✿☾  wedding bells

dacre montgomery

✿* dacre is leaving for an audition and he finally tells you how he feels