#spring semester SUCKS

[benedrylprincess]

the most beautiful girl u know is struggling in math rn….. </3

[parksrway]

last year I told myself I was gonna get a lot of updates out and then the fall semester curb stomped me and I didn't update for seven months

[biscuityskies]

Accidentally made myself important at church and now it’s biting me in the ass

[eyeballcommander]

soo...Commander Peepers. How's everything going? We haven't heard from you in a long while and I just wanted to check in to make sure you're alright

Bad. Not really feeling social.

[ambersky0319]

My grandma keeps getting exasperated that I refuse to ask my grandpa to drive me anywhere but like...

This is the man who told an 11 year old with depression, anxiety, and abandonment issues "I don't want you" in the middle of a lobby at a therapy place and saw nothing wrong. This is the man who has told me to "go to hell" because I couldn't help with his internet issues. This is the man who point blank admitted his behavior is problematic, but used the excuse that he was too old, as a reason for why he wouldn't change his behavior.

I don't want a relationship with him anymore. I made that clear. And while I'm still in this house, I will be civil with him. I will not remark on his comments. I will give simple answers to questions asked. I will help if the situation is dire. However, that does not mean I will engage with him for longer than I have to. And it means that I refuse to be stuck in an enclosed space like a car with him.

I don't think either of my grandparents have realized that, when I said the outcome of that conversation a few weeks ago would determine if we would have a relationship going forward, I meant it.

I've ignored my grandpa while living in the same house as him for 6 months - only interacting with him if it was absolutely necessary since i relied on him. And at the time, I still felt like I would have some relationship with him. But now? Now I feel nothing for him. That relationship is dead. I have no plans on making it better. I will simply be treating him how I treat anyone else I dislike but must tolerate.

I just wonder how long it will be for them to realize this.

[sowthetide]

Update 8/20/23

Hey y'all!

I bet you're wondering where your Sunday update is at, and for that I'm sorry. I've decided to take a hiatus. The weekly update schedule was fine when chapters were shorter, simpler, and relatively in line with canon. But as they get longer, more complex, and deviate further and further from canon, still trying to update weekly has been a drag.

This isn't to say I'm losing interest in this fic, far from it, I just don't want it to become a chore (the absolute worst thing that can happen to a longfic imho). Thank you to my beta goddcoward for giving me the permission I needed to take this break <3 I was so relieved yesterday that it spurred me to write 2000 words of what will (probably) become chapter 29 in about 2 hours after days of writer's block, so I know it was the right decision.

I don't know when exactly I'll be back, but I want to have at least three chapters finished by then (so probably about a month from now). Trying to finish chapters the same week I post them has been more stressful than fun, and I want to build up a buffer of finished chapters that I've really had time to sit with and evaluate before I start posting again.

All of that said, there are so many character arcs and story twists and different POV chapters I cannot WAIT to get to. This has been such an incredibly fun project so far, and I am so grateful to all of you for reading, commenting, and sharing your thoughts with me. I appreciate it all so, so much <3 <3 <3

[corpsentry]

replying to ao2 comments from 2019. hope my old readers know i am not dead i just got a gf

[thedevotionaltour]

starting to hit that i have no psych and my medication feels constantly on the edge of becoming highly precarious bc we have switched insurance and my previous doctor is like no longer my doctor to prescribe it and idk how long the therapy center i went to will continue to let the psych there prescribe me stuff and if they still can with insurance changes. guys i hate it just a little

[copperyy]

where did winter break go. where did my adequately-stocked queue go

[quicksilversquared]

We are back on our bullshit with the house thermostat again. I figured that maybe the other upstairs person had managed to steady things out while I was gone, since I came back to a room ~65 degrees (F) and some people like that temperature, I guess. They've apparently been keeping the door at the base of the stairs closed to create a micro-environment in the stairwell, which apparently worked last year.

The temperature has been dropping all evening. I've adjusted the thermostat up at least three times. This is stupid.

[emometalhead]

Why is college so expensive? 😭😭

[dreaminterlude]

lost my wallet today and felt anxious and eerie all day and got no work done in the midst of trying to find it and find another place to work 😐

[elytrafemme]

long theoretical post about my friend hugging me

like. to dissect a matter that none of you are involved in and then i'll delete in the morning: my friend in college hugged me about ten minutes ago and i don't understand why. he's a physically affectionate person so we knew it was bound to happen, it was a running joke between us that we'd like schedule our hug to happen. nothing extraordinary happened tonight. in the second half -- which is when i spent the most time with him -- i was so fucked up that i barely processed what was going on? i was listening to what he was telling me, he just rambled about stuff, and it's interesting and i could recite all of it if asked and the expression he made at each part, but there was absolutely nothing in my head. and he never asked if i was okay which i think he would have if he thought something was wrong, because he's done that before. and we were alone so he could have and there would have been zero consequences. but he didn't ask me what was wrong, so it's hard to assume that the hug was for emotional consolation reasons. he wouldn't have noticed me on the brink of tears, either, he's not that observant. i would have known if he had. and i didn't do anything truly kind to him today, i listened to him talk about his interests and we hung out for a while, but that's what we do all the time. nothing happened. there was the chair thing but i thought i played that off well, i tried to have a coherent narrative about it an hour later too so he would guess what i had hoped, and i think i was successful. he wasn't distressed, i would have known. and he was tired but he's been tired a lot before and he's never acted like this. so he had zero reason to hug me unless he maybe sensed that this entire time i just really fucking wanted him to hug me, but he wouldn't have, and i would never have voiced that, because i don't want him to see me at that level. but i needed that hug badly. and i don't understand why i received it.

[sevens-evan]

anyways sorry for ventposting i go back to college on sunday and i had a nightmare abt it last night and i feel very weird today <3

[pepprs]

let’s be clear there is never a good time to get your redacted but why does it always have to be the WORST possible timing for me. they are literally busting through the walls as i type this and my cr*mps are so fucking bad but i have to help pack

[lannisterdaddyissues]

sorry i’ve been so inactive and noncommunicative today friends!! i see all your tags and messages and asks and i love you for all of them i just don’t have the time to answer them right now 💔 but please keep tagging me in things and sending me stuff!! i love it!!! 🥹