#spring cleaning on my open tabs

[rubiehart]

hi! ‘m not sure if you’re taking requests rn but i had this thought of jj x waitress!reader, like she’s just trying to take their order and he won’t stop flirting with her. love love love your work!!

i think this request has been sitting in my inbox for over two months i’m soo sorry i’m only just getting to it now. love u nonnie!

you’re working the bar, turns out bussin tables wasn’t your strong suit when the locals would get a little too persistent towards you and you’d go off, snarky little comments that’s just piss them off in turn, you just couldn’t help it.

it’s another gloomy day at work, wiping the counter with some dirty rag that was probably doing more harm than good, but it was just so boring, until the little bell rings above the door signaling an enterance of someone new, eyes springing up from the counter as the boy walks in.

he was cute, fairly buff, red cap rested atop his sun damaged blonde hair, piercing blue eyes, you did a double take and sharply looked away when he began walking towards you, reaching for a glass and cleaning it with the same rag, as he sinks down into the bar stool directly in-front of you. “that rag don’t look very sanitary to me.” he smirks, waiting for you to catch his eye but you don’t. “no shit.” you mumble, internally rolling your eyes but refraining.

“woah.” he chuckles putting his hands up in surrender, which only makes you more pissed. “got a little fire in you, my bad.” you just flick your eyes up to him, clearly unamused. “what do you want?” slamming the glass down onto the beer mat, resting one hand on the beer taps.

“bold of you to assume i want a beer.” he shrugs, not loosing his playful tone even after being shot down so many times, you’ve gotta applaud his confidence. “so natty light?” you ask, fed up of his antics as his smirk only grows wider. "another assumption.” he assess.

“listen, you look poor, natty light’s target consumer. so yes or no?” you ask, and he scoffs. “natty light please.” and you nod, bending down to grab one from the fridge under the counter. you slide it across to him and he hands you a pile of coins, you roll your eyes and start counting it.

he cracks open the tab and takes a long sip before speaking again. “so, what’s a pretty girl like you doin’ working’ at this shit shack?” he leans forward, flashing that charming smile. “what’s it to y’a?” you mumble and he hisses. “you’re stubborn.” he adds and you nod. “y’a think?” you ask sarcastically and he smiles, before you look at him again.

“you’re 25 cents short.” you nod towards the pile of coins, he tongues the cut on his lip and sighs. “tell you what? consider this payment.” he says before reaching for your hand, turning it over and scrawling something on your palm, dropping the pen onto the counter top and winking, taking the can with him before the bell above the door rings again fo signal his departure before you can even get a word of protest in.

he’d written his number on your palm, in possibly the worst handwriting you’d ever seen, wondering how you were gonna decipher this shit later. you finally let the smile creep onto your face that you’d been holding, you were calling, no doubt about it.

[oneforthemunny]

knight in shining leather |bouncer!eddie munson x bartender!reader|

prompt: based off this ask- heyy!! i was reading you bouncer eddie series and i love it so much :((((. if you take requests could you maybe do a little blurb of reader being bothered by a creep and eddie being the knight in shining leather that he is helps her. this is such a lame plot i'm sry. pls just write anything for bouncer eddie when you have the time it would be so cool!! sending hugs

reposting from my deleted blog <3

contains: possessive!eddie, jealous!eddie, a little dark!eddie not towards reader, creepy men, cat calling, language, oral fem & male rec, throat fucking, squirting, rough p in v sex, hickeys, creampie. minors dni.

It was a slow night at The Hideout, especially for a Friday. All the college kids had gone back to school for the spring, and it was too cold for others to venture out, snow and ice covering the ground. But in any weather, you could always count on your regulars showing up on Friday nights. The regulars, who would ski if they had to, to make it down to the bar nestled in downtown Hawkins.

It was you, Eddie, and Ellen for the night. Tony and Valerie had shown up, but cut earlier with the lack of customers. You were bartending, taking care of the familiar patrons, while Ellen was the manager on duty for now, helping clean and keep the jukebox rolling. Eddie was at the door, in all black of course, tight beanie around his head to fight the cold, wild curls flying out around his face.

"Can I get another sweetheart?" Roy slurred from the other end of the bar, shaking his empty glass your way. You smiled, grabbing another glass, tilting it to stop the foam as you filled the beer.

You added beer number five to his tab before sliding it to him, switching the full glass out for his empty. "Your friends not joining you tonight?" You asked him, wiping the counter down with the spare rag.

Roy blew air out his mouth. "No, pieces of shits bailed on me. Can ya believe that?"

You giggled, getting his a fresh bowl of peanuts. "That's tough. Sounds like you need some new friends." You chided in cheery, playful conversation, filling another glass for the man on the other end who indicated he wanted one.

"You wanna be my friend, baby?" Roy blubbered, eyes glazed with a sloppy smile.

You snorted, lifting a brow at Roy. "Depends how much you tip tonight." You shot back with a tight lipped smile, walking to serve your other customer.

Roy howled, slapping the wooden top of the bar, nearly falling out of his stool. Eddie looked over, face stoic, hard, like it always was when he was working. He needed to be tough, or at least appear to be, especially with this crowd.

They were harmless, usually, drunks that liked to spend their hard-earned dollars tossing booze down their throats. Sometimes, they'd get a little out of hand. Eddie would have to intervene or call them a cab.

Eddie turned when the door opened, the frigid, biting wind of the night slipping in with the person who opened it. Eddie looked at the ID the man presented, but he really didn't need to; the guy looked Wayne's age.

"There a cover tonight?" The man asked, eyes already blood shot, swaying in his snow covered work boots.

Eddie shook his head. "Nah, not tonight."

The man nodded, stumbling over to Roy, clapping the man loudly on the back. The two had a rather loud, slurring reunion, stumbling in and out of stools. Ellen cut her eyes from you then back to Eddie, rolling her eyes.

Eddie's lips pressed in a tight line, looking over at you, the way you smiled, laying down a coaster, leaning forward on the bar to get his order.

"What's good here, huh, angel?" The man slurred back at you.

You fought the urge to roll your eyes. "Well, your friend here likes our draft." You motioned to Roy. "But that'll depend what you're in the mood for."

"I'm in the mood for something tasty." The man licked his lips, eyeing you. "You on the menu?"

You did scoff at the comment. "No, but I make a mean old fashioned. You want one of those? Or are you more of a light liquor kinda guy?" You asked, trying to shift the conversation and get away from him. He wasn't a regular, you weren't sure about him.

"I'm whatever kinda guy you want me to be, baby." He grinned all sloppy, swaying towards you. "Make me whatever you want."

You nodded, rolling your eyes when you walked away. You closed out a tab for another before starting his. You smiled at the customer, Johnny, when you handed him his tab, thanking him when he left you his usual 20% tip.

Eddie watched you carefully, nodding at the two leaving with a tiny smile. You reached for your bourbon, bending over to grab a glass out of the bottom shelf.

The man beside Roy let out a loud, ear piercing wolf whistle, cackling into the other man after. You felt a cold prick run down your spine, face flushing.

"Goddam, baby, I'll have you make as many drinks as you want if you stay bent over like that!" The man whooped. "Get to see that ass all night. No wonder you love this place so much, Roy!" He laughed, slamming his hand on the bar, so the glass jumped.

"Hey, easy there," Ellen warned, raising a brow at the two. "Roy get your friend under control."

Roy nodded, lifting a hand in apology, as the other guy bristled, eyes narrowing to focus, teeth gritting and snarling. "'M not doin' anything wrong, you fuckin' bitch. Stay outta it." He snarled.

You felt your heart hammer, looking at Ellen then at Eddie. Eddie stood, fists clenched as he walked, slow and purposeful behind the two, heavy boots clanking on the wooden, creaky floors.

"Hey, watch it, man," Eddie growled. "Settle down or get the fuck out."

The man turned, swaying slightly, looking at Eddie before scoffing, turning back to you. "Hey sugar tits, you got my drink, honey?" He slurred.

"I'm finishing it up." You said slowly, warily looking at Ellen to see if she'd give you the cut off sign. "Tryna make sure it's perfect."

"If it's coming' from you, I'm sure it is." He smirked.

He looked at Roy, nudging the man drunkly before pushing his coaster purposefully off the counter. "Whoops." He laughed, snorting slightly. "Hey, sexy baby, could you pick that up for me? Ole klutz over here knocked it over." He clapped Roy on the back.

Eddie's jaw grit tight, looking at you then the man. He could feel his blood boiling already, hands tingling from the way he had them clenched. You looked at Eddie, rolling your eyes and walking to where the coaster fell, bending over and picking it up.

The man whistled again, clapping his hands as you flushed, furious and embarrassed. "Goddam, baby, you gonna keep teasing me like that?" He asked, laughing and leaning towards you. "Stick that pretty little ass out for me one more time, huh? Better yet, come over here and let me see it. Or do I need to drop something again?"

"Alright," Ellen snapped, walking towards the two men. "They're gone. Eddie, get them outta here."

Eddie was already stepping towards them. Roy's face dropped slightly as the other snarled. "The fuck you kickin' us out for?" He snapped. "I haven't even got my goddam drink!"

"Yeah, and you're not gettin' one." Eddie growled. "Out. Now. Before I have to make you." He threatened, boasting his chest to intimidate the older man. Sure, he could take him, drunk and old he wouldn't be an issue.

Roy apologized to you, drunk but sincere, holding his hands up as he tried to coax his friend. The man snarled. "The fuck you gonna do, huh?" He snapped at Eddie. "You gonna... you gonna make me leave, huh, pussy boy?" He laughed mockingly in Eddie's face.

He turned back to you, snarling and mean. "Dumb bitch, 's your fuckin' fault. Walking' around like a goddam whore, just asking' for it, then when you get it you don't want it, huh?" He spat, angry.

Eddie's hands were on his shoulders, yanking him out of the stool. The man fell to his knees, groaning in pain before Eddie had him back up, shoving him out the door.

Eddie pushed the drunken man out the door and into the snowbank on the sidewalk, and he would've smirked when the man groaned in pain if he wasn't so furious. Roy was still inside, covering the tab and apologizing to Ellen and you.

Eddie looked down at the drunk man, trying to twist and move out of the freezing snow. "The fuck you-you-"

Eddie bent down, pushing him back on the ground, teeth bared and a grip on his collar, dangerously close to his neck. His rings were cold, biting against the man's jugular. "I better never see you here or near her again, you understand?" He growled.

The man stammered, lifting his hands gently. Eddie slammed him harder into the ground, the snow sinking around his head. "Understand?"

"Yes, fuck, yes!" The man stuttered. "Jesus, fuck, I-I don't wanna come back here anyways!"

Eddie snarled, shoving him slightly before standing up. "Good." He bit. "Now get the fuck outta here." He turned around, leaving the man to get out of the icy ground.

He nodded curtly to Roy as he left, not listening to his apologies. He was fuming, buzzing, adrenaline shaking and rattling his bones. His jaw still ground together, eyes not meeting yours though he could feel them on him. He needed to calm down before he did.

Ellen came over, checking on him, and checking to make sure they were gone, before patting him on the back. "Go have a drink." She nodded towards the bar. "As soon as these two leave, we'll call it a night, huh? Think that's enough excitement for us all."

Eddie stomped over to the bar where you watched him from the other side, eyes rounded to meet him. "Thank you," You whispered.

Eddie nodded. "Anytime, baby," He grinned, but it didn't meet his eyes.

He was still angry, not at you, but at that disgusting fucker. Who the fuck did he think he was, talking to Eddie's girl like that, talking to you?

You poured him a beer, cutting an orange and placing it on his glass. Eddie sipped it slowly, the tingle in the back of his throat mixed with the alcohol calmed him slightly. You smiled at him, squeezing his hand gently when Ellen wasn't looking, before checking on the other two that still remained at the other end of the bar.

The night moved slow. No one else came in. The final people left, letting you cash out for the night. Eddie helped you stack chairs, while Ellen unplugged the jukebox, the three of you walking to the back where you parked.

Eddie had just climbed in the van, barely putting the key in the ignition to roll over the engine when you pounced on him. Hands on either side of his face, pressed against his side, lips attaching to his, hard and needy like he was your life line.

Eddie faltered for a moment, movements stuttering before he kissed you back, his own hands finding your waist, the back of your neck, pulling you as close to him as you could.

Eddie's brows furrowed when you pulled back, eyes canning your face, your rounded eyes, blown pupils, bottom lip ticked between your teeth. "What was that for?" Eddie asked, shocked, amused.

You shrugged, placing your hand over the zipper of his jeans. "I dunno, just a thank you, I guess." You grinned, eyes batting at him. "For saving me tonight. My hero." You purred, squeezing him through the rough fabric of his jeans, grinning when he groaned low and throaty.

Eddie flew over the icy roads, squirming under your touch the entire way. You palmed him gently, slowly, pressing kisses up and down his neck, shoulder, collarbone, cheek. Nuzzling your nose against him before trailing the tip of your tongue down his exposed skin.

You were throbbing between your legs, had been since Eddie had grabbed the man so aggressively- so protectively. The adrenaline and sheer primeness of it all made you soak, your head reeling and fuzzy as you fumbled through the rest of your shift. He had done that for you, was protective over you.

You and Eddie stumbled through his trailer, his boot shutting the door behind him, teeth gnashing, lips mushing, hands roaming and groping. You pushed Eddie back onto the couch by his sternum, dropping to your knees, hands fumbling to undo his belt and zipper.

Eddie grinned, brows lifted in amusement. Gone was the anger, the disrespect he felt from that man. He worried that you would be hurt, upset by what he said, maybe even angry at him for being so rough. Instead, here you were, ready to jump his bones, needy and aching all for him.

"Easy, baby," Eddie muttered, ringed hands finding your hair as you freed him frantically from his boxers.

Your soft hands held his cock, thick and long, oozing already from your teasing touches in the car. You wasted no time licking a long stripe up the base to his tip, swirling the salty pre-cum around your tongue over the head. Eddie groaned, head tilting back against the couch cushions.

You pumped his length, sucking what you could of the thick head down your throat. "Atta girl, that's my girl, fuck," Eddie groaned, gripping your hair a little tighter so you whimpered, vibrations tickling down his shaft to his sac making him tense, bucking gently in your mouth.

You gagged gently at the intrusion and Eddie let out a near pornographic moan. "Fuck, baby, can I- shit- can I fuck your throat? Please?" He begged, half lidded and lust filled.

You clenched your legs, nodding with his cock still in your mouth as he grinned down at you. That's how you ended up, head lolling off the arm of the couch, mouth open and gripping Eddie's thighs as he thrusted into your throat, relishing in how you gagged and swallowed.

"Fuck, baby, you're doing so good for me. You're such a good girl, aren't you? Good little girl." Eddie praised, eyes pinched close in pleasure.

Tears pricked your eyes, breathing slow to try and match his pace, nails digging into his hairy thighs. Eddie's abs clenched, pulling out of you slowly, before fisting himself.

He moved so his balls were in your face, heavy and hitting your nose, but you knew what he wanted, instinctively sucking them gently, tongue rolling over the skin.

Eddie's breath stuttered, grunting as he jacked himself quicker, leaning over you. "'M gonna cum, baby. Just like that, oh fuck, just like that. 'M-" Eddie groaned before you felt the hot spurts on your chest, your tummy.

Eddie's chest heaved, hunched over you, bracing himself with the back of the couch. You looked up at him, eyes meeting his through his curly bangs.

Eddie grinned at you, reaching down to kiss you, hard. He didn't waste time walking around to the other end of the couch, pulling you by your legs so your hips were on the arm of the couch, kneeling down to kiss your inner thighs with sloppy, wet kisses.

You moaned, arms above your head as you grabbed at the couch, back arching when Eddie licked a long, fat stripe through your folds, circling around your clit.

"Oh!" You whined, clenching when he kitten licked your clit, one hand on your lower tummy, pressing gently, the other adding a finger and pumping slowly in and out of you.

Normally, he'd tease you. get you whiny, teary-eyed, the way it drove him crazy, but not tonight. He was urgent, needy, devouring you from the inside out like a madman.

You felt it building quickly, the sweet release that threatened to take over you any minute. The way Eddie was sucking, nibbling at your achy clit, his long fingers curling and pumping at a much faster pace, mixed with his other hand pressing on your tummy; you knew you were going to soak him, flood him.

You writhed, hips wiggling to get away, the pleasure overwhelming. Eddie knew just how to work you, toy with your body to get it to do exactly what he wanted. Your eyes rolled back, hands pressing against his hand, but it wouldn't budge.

Eddie rolled your clit between his lips, licking gently while his fingers curled, pressing hard down on your lower belly. You cried out, back arching, legs pushing against his back as you gushed around his fingers, spewing all over him, all over the couch.

Eddie grinned, the squelch of wet liquid around his fingers as he pumped into you still was a melody, your cries and moans music to him. Eddie watched as you bucked, then slowed, legs falling and giving out, melting into the couch with heavy breaths.

Eddie licked you once more, the sweetness of your release making his eyes roll back. He stood over you, wiping his wet, shiny mouth with the back of his hand and you whimpered, legs snapping shut, throbbing again.

He was on top of you in an instant, hands on wither side of your head holding him up. Lips on yours, tongue swirling around your mouth so you could taste your release on him. He kissed down your jaw, neck, collarbones, chest, sucking large bruises as he went. He wanted everyone to see them, to know that you were his.

You moaned, legs wrapping around his waist, hands in his hair as he sucked deep bruises into your tits, biting and sucking at them, then rolling your nipples in his mouth, teeth grazing them slightly so you yelped.

He pushed himself into you without warning, rutting into you fast, hard, deep strokes that had you gasping, clawing down his back, feet dug into the meat of his ass.

Eddie pressed his face into your neck, sucking and nipping the already sensitive skin, marking it up even more. Your eyes rolled back, bodies rubbing together, chaffing skin to skin.

"Fuck, gonna cum inside you, that ok?" Eddie grunted, his nose nuzzling your cheek, lips pressing sloppy kisses to your flushed skin.

You nodded, gripping his arms, biceps bulging in your hands. You drooled at the definition, the inked skin firm and prominent next to you. Eddie snapped his hips flush against yours, smirking when you cried out, burying your face into his neck to try and muffle the pathetic cries falling from your lips.

Eddie snapped his hips a few more time, clenching with a grunt when he spilled inside you. He kept himself inside you as he rode out his high, long, deep breaths, his mouth hovering over your shoulder. You were barely holding onto him, legs still wrapped loosely around him, head swimming with feeling and fullness of him.

Eddie pulled back, brushing his bangs back so he could look at you. Marked up and bruised, mouth shaped red marks all over your neck and chest. He trailed his finger down your neck, over the well of your breasts where he really bit down.

"'M sorry, baby." He muttered to you, cupping your cheek with his hand. He hadn't asked to do that, cleared it with you, and the guilt was setting in. Girlfriends in the past were furious with him when he'd mark them like that, angry that they'd have to cover them up, and he didn't blame them.

You smiled softly, tucking your chin down to look at the damage. "It's alright." You whispered, tired. "I can cover them it's alright."

Eddie shook his head, pressing a kiss to your lips. "I should've asked. I can put a coupla spoons in the freezer. That trick worked in high school-"

He moved out of you, not caring that you were oozing him on the worn fabric of the couch, his cock softer and covered in both your spend. You catch his hand gently, thumb running over his rough knuckles. "Eddie, it's ok. I promise." Your eyes shone up at him, warm and gooey in your own afterglow.

Eddie hesitated. "It's ok." You reassured, bringing his hand to your lips brushing them feathery light over his knuckles. "I-I liked it." You blushed at the admission, nuzzling your nose into his hand to hide your giddy smile.

Eddie's eyes lit up, cupping your jaw with his hand, lifting your gaze to his. He cocked his head to the side, dopey grin on his face. "Yeah? You liked it?" He asked. You nodded. "You like it when I mark you up, huh? Want everyone to know who you belong to?"

You bit your lips, legs shifting uncomfortably. The dull ache between your legs was still there. Eddie knelt down so his nose was touching yours, an intense look in his eyes. "Who do you belong to?" He whispered, sending shockwaves down your spine, shivering against the couch.

Eddie pressed his lips towards yours so they were barely touching, hairs of his bangs tickling your forehead and eyelashes, sweaty against your skin. "Who do you belong to, baby?"

You squirmed against his gaze, feeling a little vulnerable, a little electric with the way he was looking right through you. "You." You whispered, your bottom lip brushing his, leaning in to kiss him.

Eddie pulled back slightly, his hand on your jaw. "Say it again." His eyes were dark again, lust blown, intense.

You shivered, legs clamping together and you could feel him still running out of you, creating a puddle under you. "You, Eddie," You whispered, eyes rounding into his gaze. "I'm yours, Eddie."

Eddie grinned, teeth bared and grip on your jaw tightening just slightly. "That's fuckin' right." He muttered, lips crashing into yours. He moved so you were halfway off the couch, holding onto him for leverage, his grip secure on you. "All mine." He nipped at your bottom lip, dragging it between his teeth.

Eddie moved so he was on the couch, long legs crowding on either side of your hips. He pulled you up gently by your arms, so you were in between his legs, curls ticking your cheeks when he kissed you again. He laid back slowly so you were on top of him, hands gripping your waist, your hips, anywhere he could grab and squeeze.

"My turn now." Eddie grinned, wiggling playfully underneath you. "Mark me up, baby. Show the world I'm yours."

[goldenavenger02]

ate a sleeve of saltines on my floor and i knew

"I think I hate mum."

The way she said it, so calm and sure of herself without a thread of hesitation in her voice despite the gravity of what she was saying, was the most worrying part of it all to Charlie.

(Hi, couple things. One, inconsistent posting schedule is sticking around due to a few factors. Two, I coincidently posted this on Tori's canonical birthday. Three, Graceland Too by Pheobe Bridgers is actually so Spring Siblings coded that it makes me want to scream. Four, this fic is NOT anti medication, I don't want that to be what comes across. Five, I will get back to posting about Nick and Charlie soon, I just have thoughts about siblings being one myself.) (Sorry for this long-ass author's note. And now, on with the story!)

Tori didn't like having visitors in her flat.

For one, she cherished her time alone. With Michael back in Essex for his rigorous skating training and the rest of her various classmates split up between various parts of the UK, she had come to Edinburgh with a clean slate, a fresh start and no one who had heard about the school she had attended going up in flames.

And for two, being nearly fourteen hours away from where she had grown up meant that unlike Charlie, she had a feeling that it was going to be a much more rare occurrence that her parents would just decide to "drop in" on a Tuesday evening then when her brother went off to uni.

However, being all along in Edinburgh meant that everyone was a stranger to her and even if they were in the same classes or it was one of her professors who happened to be from Truham, she did not want strangers in her home; even the girls she was renting the flat with felt like nothing more than acquaintances to her, only catching glimpses of them when she did venture out of her room and engaging in the same small talk that she figured every other freshman did when they first moved into the dorms.

The "how's it going?", "are you running to Tesco soon?" and "do you want to go to the gym with me?"

And for Tori, the answers she gave were always the same. "Fine", "Yes, I'll pick up more Wheatabix" and "I did my time in P.E."

It wasn't that she was trying to be unapproachable, or "prickly" as Oliver called it, but if her picking up cereal and refusing to go to the gym for fun was being unfriendly, then Tori was more than happy to be alone.

And so, with her Mathematics homework open in one tab and Tumblr opened in another, she was fully ready for a night to herself with a few texts from Michael in between.

Until the knock on her door snapped her away from the screen and to the opening door to see one of her flatmates, Emma with red curls and pale, freckled skin who always asked her if she wanted to join her in the gym, not crossing the threshold into her room with a soft smile on her face.

"Tori?"

"Yes?" She asked, going to the trouble of offering a fake smile, hoping that it would get Emma out sooner but also remembering to at least try and be friendly.

"Sorry to interrupt your studying, but there's a guy here."

"We live with two other girls, and I am not in the business of hooking up," Tori said, gesturing to the small ace flag on her wall that Charlie had bought her a year prior before returning to look directly in Emma's green eyes, "it's not my stray."

"He just looks a lot like that guy in that photo," Emma stopped to point out one of the frames, "so I figured you knew him or something."

Tori examined the frame she was pointing at, but it wasn't Michael she had been gesturing to in that picture from the fete.

"Dammit, that one is mine," she muttered, tossing the frame on her bed before pushing right past Emma to see, sure enough, her brother who was supposed to be fourteen hours away standing in her shared, small lounge, "Charles, what the hell are you doing here?"

"Tori," Charlie breathed, and she quickly assessed that physically, he was fine, which did nothing to quell her confused anger, "I can explain."

"You had better, because when mum finds out you've fucked off fourteen hours away on a Friday, she's going to be pissed," Tori said before realizing that not only Emma was present, but so was Phoebe with her bleached blonde hair that rode down in waves across the entire length of her spine and Mel, whose silver ring pierced into her nose shone brightly against her jet-black hair in a way that made her feel way too small, "come on, we can talk in my room."

And with that, she wrapped her hand around Charlie's much colder one and pulled him into her room before locking the door; she stayed standing with her back against the door while Charlie took a seat on the end of her bed, and pulled in a breath to collect herself before asking.

"How's Nick?"

"How's Michael?"

Tori let out a breath, trying to let any frustration that was wrapped in her confusion about why Charlie was here and relief that he was stable enough to match her sarcasm, before finally cutting to the chase.

"Charlie, why are you in Edinburgh and not Leeds?"

And Charlie, this time, stayed quiet for a few minutes, kicking at a small piece of dryer lint with the toe of his red converse sneakers that had seen better days, before finally meeting her gaze with a much more watery glint in his eyes that diminished most of the relief inside of her.

"Figured mum and dad would be slightly less angry if I came to you instead of going to Nick," he stopped, taking a breath that sounded a lot like he was doing his best not to cry, "so I said I was going to school and got on a train instead."

Tori sighed, finally pulling her back away from the door before depositing herself on the bed, resting her hand on her brother's back and rubbing gently in between his tense shoulders before asking, "do they know where you are?"

"If they checked my phone's location."

Tori pulled in another breath, not as intense as the first one, while never pulling her palm away from where it rested on his spine, before coming up with the solution in her head, whispering it on the off chance that Charlie got angry with her.

"I'll handle mum and dad if you tell me why you left in the first place."

Charlie finally used that as a chance to pull away from her and stand up; for as long as she could remember, or at least until he opened the drum set on Christmas one year, Charlie needed to pace when he was angry like he was physically trying to use his steps in order to push all of his frustration away from him.

When he would finally calm down, however, he would become a deflated version of himself with tears running down his face, like a helium balloon that had flown out of a child's hand and into a muddy field somewhere.

And when Charlie deflated, that was when he would become obsessive and lose his appetite.

"You still haven't outgrown that, have you?"

"Outgrown what?"

"Pacing when you're angry and can't get to your drums."

Despite the anger still in his eyes, Charlie managed a chuckle around the furrow in his forehead that helped Tori's chest feel a little lighter, like the deflating wouldn't be as painful as it had been just two years prior.

It was light enough that Tori didn't fear any repercussions when she stood up from her bed and said, "I'm going to go get us a snack first."

Phrasing it as a statement, as well as offering to share, usually gave Charlie little chance to lash out against the thought and that fact stayed true as he nodded in agreement, giving Tori the chance to walk into the lounge and go straight for one of the bags of microwave popcorn, taking the chance to send her dad a quick text as it spun around endlessly.

Victoria

Charlie's with me. I'm sending him home before Monday, but I think he just needed to breathe. Sixth form isn't easy on anyone.

And with that, she silenced her phone and emptied the popcorn into the pale yellow bowl that she had smuggled from home when she moved out; their mum's anger could dissipate while she handled the current situation.

After all, it was what she was good at.

She opened the door to see Charlie still in the same spot she had left him, towering over her but still looking like he had one, two, even three years prior deep within his blue eyes.

"Is that mum's bowl?"

Tori just brushed off the question, balancing the popcorn on her duvet before shoveling a few pieces in her mouth and letting the salt coat her tongue while saying, "just start from the beginning."

To her surprise, he didn't hesitate to start letting the words spill onto her purple shag rug.

…

Charlie wasn't sure when he ended up lying down on the hardwood floor of Tori's room, her shag carpet under his head; he was sure that when all of the anger about his mum and his eating disorder and his OCD had left him that Tori laid next to him, however.

When he was little, Tori always had snacks in her room. A packet of Gushers here, a sleeve of Oreo's there, it was nice to just talk about the newest episode of one of his favorite shows and snack on whatever she had smuggled into her room while their parents were asleep.

Despite years passing, Oliver being born and all of the mental shit both of them had gone through, not to mention Tori moving all the way to Scotland, she still kept snacks in her room.

It was obvious that she didn't like most people, but he couldn't stop himself from wondering if the food was not just to keep her from interacting with people she didn't want to see, but also for these very circumstances where his brain decided to launch a full blown assault that made even thinking about the growl of his stomach turn into an uneasy nausea.

She had left the popcorn on her bed but had pulled a sleeve of soda crackers from a drawer somewhere, leaving it on the floor.

"Geoff's got me trying some new meds, for my OCD."

"How's that going?"

"It's clomipramine, so it's making me gain weight," Charlie let out a shaky breath, feeling a wave of tears build in his eyes just by saying it out loud, "and mum's, you know, fucking thrilled, but I…I really don't want to replace my wardrobe."

"Charlie-"

"It's also destroying my libido, so I feel like I'm ruining things for Nick and I know it's just the stupid voice in my head telling me that, that Nick could probably still love me even if I was a goddamn worm-"

"Charles," Tori said, clapping a gentle hand over his mouth which only then got him to process just how wet his cheeks were and how angry he still was at his mum, "two things, okay? Let me say two things, and I need you to hear them."

Charlie managed to nod, to will himself not to let the voice of unmedicated anything overwhelm him.

"One, you are correct. Your sap of a boyfriend, like my sap of a boyfriend, would love you even if you were a worm and if he was here right now which he isn't because you paid like, two hundred more pounds to come to Edinburgh instead of Leeds, he would say the same thing that I'm going to say."

She stopped to wait on his nod, but also to pull in a breath.

"Two, if the medicine is having adverse effects, you change it. You know how many different anti-depressants I went through before my brain decided to actually function on Zoloft. You just gotta find what works, even if it pisses mum off, because?…"

Charlie sighed, a little bit of annoyance within, knowing fully well what she was going to say, because Geoff used it one time after he had vented about his mum and she had clung to it like it was gospel.

"Because this is about my brain, not mum's."

"A plus, Charles," she said, offering a plain soda cracker in his direction, "A plus."

He took the cracker, letting it's plainness coat his nerves and wash away the jitters that were just under his skin.

Before he knew it, Tori had pulled her laptop in the floor and cued up one of Twilight films, the half-empty sleeve of cracks still in between them; he wasn't sure which one it was, despite having watched all of them with Nick, but it possibly was the one comfort that his sister and boyfriend shared, so he accepted it and slipped another bite of cracker between his chapped lips.

It was so normal, it felt like home in the way it hadn't felt since the night before they made the two day drive to Edinburgh to help Tori move in; for that brief moment, he felt fourteen again where the safest place in the world was in Tori's bedroom, eating for the first time that day and watching some familiar movie tinged with childhood.

And then Tori broke the silence in between sips of what Charlie could only assume was diet lemonade.

"I think I hate mum."

The way she said it, so calm and sure of herself without a thread of hesitation in her voice despite the gravity of what she was saying, was the most worrying part of it all to Charlie.

"You don't mean that."

"Maybe I don't," Tori shrugged again, "but maybe I do. Maybe I hate the way she brushed off my obvious struggling, maybe I hate the way that she's been handling everything when it comes to you, maybe I hate that she doesn't believe that I even have depression."

Charlie sighed softly; he knew that no matter how tense his relationship with their mum was, the relationship between her and his sister was even more frayed, slowly severing with every small argument until the two of them could hardly even pretend to enjoy the most small of small talk.

"But she's still mum," Charlie found himself gently squeezing Tori's smaller hand, unsurprised when she squeezed right back, "and, no matter how much she fucks up and how often she fucks up, she…she does try, Victoria."

"That's what makes all of it so hard."

Charlie nodded again, letting the soft voices within Tori's computer fill the silence yet again.

At least until a notification chimed and Tori stood up to grab her phone from her bedside table.

"Micheal?"

"No, I silenced my text messages," she said before reaching for an orange prescription bottle settled next to a picture frame, "it's Zoloft time."

Charlie nodded, pulling his phone out of his pocket to see if Nick had the chance to check his phone despite it being late and having a rugby match in the morning.

"Your meds?"

"Left them at home." Charlie responded, sending a quick row of hearts to Nick before tucking it back into his pocket.

"Good," she agreed, settling back onto the floor, taking a swig of lemonade, and resting her head against Charlie's shoulder, "they were making you feel awful about yourself."

"I'll talk to Geoff about it on Wednesday, promise."

"What would you do without me, Charles?" Tori deadpanned, forcing Charlie's brain to instantly and briefly flash back to a burning building and his sister on a ledge and Micheal Holden being the only one who could convince her to let him and Nick take her to the hospital.

He pushed it away, he took in the fact that Tori was here; fourteen hours away and hair that had stayed cropped in a bob since that day he had gone to the beach and barely reachable on a good day but here.

"Don't ever forget that I'm here for you, okay?" He begged, unable to think about his words before they slipped out of his lips.

"Considering you came all the way to Edinburgh to see me, I think that is an impossible task."

And Charlie? Well, Charlie was more than happy with that answer.

[enjoythesilentworld]

Wille's Month - Freedom

day 23!! @youngroyals-events <3

Wille and Simon go out to enjoy a nice, summer day in town. Something is weird, though, and they can’t quite place what it is.

read below or on ao3 (G, 800)

Wilhelm was used to people staring at him. He’d gone his whole life that way; still remembers the first time he realized that his life was very different from his friends’ lives, and that not everyone had to walk out on fancy balconies in a suit at 6 years old and wave at crowds of cheering people. While he wasn’t necessarily okay with it – in fact, he rather hated it – he knew how to handle it. 

Simon, on the other hand, was not used to it. He’d been unwillingly thrown into the spotlight first by August, and then for a second and third time by Wilhelm. What made it even worse was that the stares Simon got were unkind stares. They were judging and sneering, whispered gossip and smothered giggles. 

So, now, despite the fact that Wille’s stepped down and it’s been years since the video and the speech, whenever they go out in public, Wille no longer knows how to handle it. He doesn’t mind the stares on him, but knowing it makes Simon uncomfortable, knowing his beautiful boyfriend pretends it doesn’t, makes Wille all the more nervous and angry. How dare they continue to gossip when they don’t even know Simon at all? How dare they make him hesitant to be in big crowds or, God forbid, anywhere near a royal monument? 

He is never thinking about it directly, but the anxiety is always there bubbling in the back of Wille’s mind. So aware of Simon, always aware, and never wanting to cause him any more undue harm; which, that’s the problem, isn’t it? Even after all this time, it’s still Wille and his (former) royalty status that brought all this shit down on them. 

It’s a gorgeous summer day, the sun finally out in full force after a rainy spring, and they’ve decided to go out to run a few errands and maybe have lunch at a park. At this point, it’s second nature for him to keep tabs on their surroundings, prepared to throw glares at anyone who dares look at Simon wrong for even a second. They make it to the main thoroughfare of shops without incident, though, and the worry fades to the background. 

Simon looks absolutely radiant in the warm sunlight, blissful and smiling. They swing their hands between them as they walk, admiring the pretty window displays and commenting on the delicious smells coming from a bakery nearby. A street performer is playing the violin, and they drift over. Wille wraps his arms around Simon, and they sway there for a moment, enjoying the music and the gentle breeze. As they continue down the path, they pass a jewelry store and Simon eyes the rings in the window. When he turns and sees Wille’s giddy expression, he giggles and shakes his head. They already know; the promise is there. But, they have time. Not yet, but soon. 

By the time they grab a few sandwiches and settle down on a park bench, Wille can still feel something weird wiggling under his skin. Glancing around, he doesn’t see anyone staring at them or any ill-disguised camera phones. 

��Does today feel kind of weird to you?” Simon asks, looking over at him with a smear of mustard on his cheek. Wille reaches out to wipe it away, then sucks his finger into his own mouth to clean up. Simon smiles in thanks, then continues, “Not a bad weird. Like, today is lovely, but just kind of weird?”

Wille hums when Simon brings a clean hand up to rest against the back of his neck, fingers gently brushing the short hair there. “Yeah, I was just thinking the same thing. I don’t know what it is.” 

They both look around for a moment, admiring the ducks circling in the pond before them. Somewhere across the way, a group of children laugh and chase each other through the grass.

“Oh my God,” Simon gasps out, grip tightening on Wille’s neck. He drops his sandwich onto the paper wrapping in his lap, and turns back to Wille, mouth open in shock.

“What?” Wille sits up straighter, scanning around them in fear. 

“No one’s looking at us! No one’s been looking at us all day!” Simon exclaims, wide eyes still trained on Wille. 

It can’t be. Wille looks at the groups of people around them, then thinks back to their walk through the shops. That feeling he’d had wasn’t anxiety, it was confusion.

“Oh my God,” Wille repeats. 

Simon laughs joyously. “Are we finally irrelevant?” 

Still not fully believing it, Wille continues to think. Not even the cafe attendant spared them a second glance when they’d ordered their sandwiches. They’d even asked Wille for his name for their order – Wille had never given his name for anything like that in his life. 

A smile grows on his face, large enough to rival Simon’s. Finally, he looks back over at his beautiful, beautiful Simon, chest bursting with love and glee.

“No,” Wille says, shaking his head. “We’re free.” 

[avorbl]

Avor's Watchlist for weeks 15 + 16

I had planned to use my week off to catch up on shows but I just started new ones before I got sucked into Perfect 10 Liners while doing digital spring cleaning (got open browser tabs down by 10% to 3700).

Currently Airing

Exclusive Love 11/12 With how cutthroat the Taiwanese funeral business seems to be it finally makes sense that they have to have a family member at the helm.

Last Meal Universe 5/8

Close to You 7/8 A weekly dose of pining enjoyable to watch.

Lost in the Woods 5/7 Its beautiful as long as stay zoomed out.

Top Form 6/11

Sweet Tooth, Good Dentist 4/12

Fight for You 5/12

Heesu in Class 2 8/10 Its so good the relationships, the characters, the colour signalling. I want to wrap myself in it.

Business as Usual 3/6 I like the pacing in this story while it might not have a lasting effect the delivery has me engaged.

Something Is Not Right 2/8 Like the mix of sorting out of the relationship and absolute comedy.

Boys in Love 1/12 Its seem cute but I fear for roller coaster they going to take us for 12 episodes espially viz a viz GMMTV and parents

My Stubborn 1/10 Looks fun and messy.

What I am catching up on

Inheritance Detective 3/10

Bansan Blues 2/10

My Intimate Relationship with My Teacher 8/24

My Dearest Nemesis 6/12

Perfect 10 Liners 17/24 The first episodes were bad but then it got watchable.

Still on my Watchlist

Word of Honor 29/36

Tengu’s Kitchen 2 6/10

Playboyy 9/14

Yamibaito Kazoku 2/12

BLT Sandwich Cafe 3/12

My Journey to You 2/24

Finished in the last two weeks

All for You 12.04.25 7/10 Two people at different speed corresponding to their social roles. Simple story with bad subtitles.

The Time Padauk Blooms 18.04.25 8,5/10 Two pairs one highschool-aged the other closer to thirty discovering that the bond that they feel has to be accompanied by fitting words and actions to stay strong and persist. A nice bromance. I need to learn more about the cultural importance and meaning of new years celebrations in Myanmar since this is the second series I have watched that involves them.

Your Sky of Us 19.04.25 8/10 Nice fluff to remember the series by.

[stressedlawsecretary]

Today's Focus

All the razor perceptions that cut just a little too deep

03.28.25 - I'm annoyed this Friday but like...I'm annoyed because people online are annoying not because anything major is going on. It's actually quite a gloomy, windy, chilly little spring Friday. Which, I think, calls for extra coffee today.

Work - Okay I have a few more procedural NYM things to cover; primarily recog hearings and vital records cases - you know, the things our office isn't contesting in the least? I have a few efiles (of course, those are never-ending; this part of the job is like doing dishes) but other than that I hope nobody needs me.

Background Noise - At home, so the DVR will be most of the background noise; I will have my YT slop on mute as well (there's a lot of drama I have a small interest in, but not enough to watch a full 1hr+ video on it.) Speaking of YT, I got 19 videos off yesterday; a good chunk of these were nearly an hour long, and I got a full hour off of a 1:50 video last night.

Study - Friday and the weekend are for Wikipedia, though again I don't know how much I'll do considering how busy I've been. I'm gonna try though; I have a lot of tabs open/started that I'd like to finish.

Speaking of finishing, I finished the last five (5) chapters of The Marvelous Land of Oz so I get to start book three (3) next week. I also did five (5) pages of A Short History of Paper Money & Banking, along with the press release from Wednesday, and 16 different articles.

Extras - Friday means I clean the catbox and prep it for the weekend; I want to finish sweeping and using the wet Swiffer on Dad's bedroom floor, then clean a couple bins out of my fridge as extra chores. I have to make a run to the out-of-the-way grocery store for rhubarb for the meal tonight, but other than that the Dijon mustard pork roast should be easy. Then it's the last three (3) episodes of Kiramager for the week and then gaming throughout the weekend.

[darkobssessions]

Once a month, I feel an unprecedented sense of urgency about all the life I've let slip through my fingers for the last 3 weeks and I enter into an almost manic state of maintenance.

Life this way is incredibly disjointed, moments of sanity gathered together by fragile thread. I cannot be consistent nor functional, and even as my strength picks up, I anticipate its waning.

I never know what will be urgent to me this time. The order of the books on my shelves? My unanswered emails? Working on the systematic issues in my life that prevent me from moving forwards? The latter being of utmost necessity but incredibly taxing, and near impossible under these circumstances.

This time, after descending into the deepest darkest pits of hell, so dark that an actual demon inserted itself into my dream, I am feeling the temporary emergence again. I can feel the urge to be taken in by it again. The incredible relief, the sense of salvation, the euphoria.

Even though I know better now that this experience is cyclic, it is so charming in its appeal, so convincing in its giving three dimensionality to my life that I find myself being drawn in by it.

I will be worked up into a frenzy. I will answer messages and arrange meet ups and clean my inbox and open 100 new tabs and make a new to do list and start another business and plan my next trip. I will race against the clock to get any of the urgent things done.

I will rage, rage, against the dying of the light. I'll not see the descent coming. It'll take me by surprise like it always does, a week or so from now. It'll be subtle at first, and I will begin to withdraw. All of this predictable and premeditated, all of it visceral and yet masked from my understanding, not noticed until it is too late.

What will I do with my brief window this time? I was just too tired to cope yesterday. Now the little spring is winding up and I can feel the wild darting about for a target. At least I know now this isn't life. It's my life, but it is not a life.

"Nobody heard him, the dead man,   

But still he lay moaning:

I was much further out than you thought   

And not waving but drowning."

-Stevie Smith

[fanplastik]

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐀𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐂. 𝐁old / italicise what applies.

━━ 𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐒

tinkling of piano keys / the click of a lock / an engine starting, stalling / sinful whispers / stifled sobbing / the rattle of death / alarm blaring / a siren call / spanish guitar strumming / loud laughter at midnight / banshee screeching / drunk hiccuping / the giggle of a child / rolling thunder / disdainful chuckling / bones creaking / carefree whistling / singing off key / flesh hitting concrete / white noise / a mirror cracking / laboured breathing / a groan of pain / waves lapping at the shore / the roar of a lion / pages turning / swords clashing / deep humming / birds chirping / dial tone / tongue popping / fingers tapping a surface / crystals breaking / music turned up to the limit / raindrops on a roof / angry yelling / yawning at noon / horns going off / ravens talking / bubblegum bursting / splashing water / teakettle squeal / militia drums / wolves howling / slow, sarcastic clapping / soprano notes / whispering pleas / gregorian chants / mournful cries

━━ 𝐕𝐈𝐒𝐔𝐀𝐋𝐒

filled notebooks / dogeared books / clean shaves / empty stares / sleeping at a desk / the witching hour / driving all night / restless tides / broken windows / coffee any time / freshly baked goods / bonfires / lounging felines / circles under your eyes / bedhead / tangling in the sheets / leather jackets / paint stains / music sheets / too many tabs to find the music / weary brows / card games / messy ponytails / strained smiles / unsent texts / heart on your sleeve / slow dancing in the rain / star gazing / torn jeans / piles of clothes / filled bookshelves / hurricanes / chapped lips / cliff diving / the lights in venice / stolen kisses / poet shirts / half melted candles / empty coffee mugs / hot tea / unlaced boots / shameless flirting / too young to be so old / laced fingers / eyes in the trees / bloody knuckles / french letters / neon lights / ivy covered balconies

━━ 𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒

burnt leaves / turkish coffee / spiced rum / moss / vanilla beans / freshly cut grass / decay / sea salt / strawberries and cream / cinnamon / honey / copper / pineapple / wet dog / pine needles / wood shavings / rainsoaked bark / something sharp, indefinable / Russian tea / dandelions / squeezed limes / Italian wine / freshly laundered clothes / coming rain / hardtack and gruel / roasting flesh / something cloying in the chest / ichor / lilies in spring / pollen / damp clothes / meatpies / greasy coins / curdled milk / leather / bone marrow / wet cement / ricecakes / open paint cans / cocoa leaves / tar / apples / sandalwood cologne / orchids / molded onions / cheap perfume / mistletoe / rubber on fire / grave dirt / old books / new books / melting plastic / roses / poison oak / sea cucumbers / peppermint

taken from my other blogs

tagging you who know the song believe by cher

[cheddar-baby]

when i have to use my scroll wheel to reach the other side of my open tabs i think its time to do some spring cleaning...

[phoenixplans]

5 Ways to Spring Clean Your Digital Life

Your devices deserve a reset too. These quick tips help you declutter your digital world and reclaim some peace of mind.

There’s something magical about spring—new growth, fresh starts, and a renewed sense of clarity. We clean our homes, reset our habits… but how often do we spring clean the one space we live in all day long? Our digital lives.

Between the avalanche of emails, the dozens of open tabs, and the graveyard of forgotten files on our desktops, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. The good news? A digital reset is easier than it sounds—and it feels so good.

Here are 5 ways to declutter your digital space and make room for peace, productivity, and a little more breathing room:

1. Inbox Detox

Let’s be honest—most inboxes look like a junk drawer. Set aside 15 minutes to:

Unsubscribe from newsletters and spam you never open

Archive or delete old conversations

Set up filters or folders to auto-sort incoming mail

Bonus tip: Try email batching—check your inbox only at set times to reduce overwhelm and distraction.

2. The App Audit

Scroll through your phone. How many apps do you actually use?

Delete the ones collecting digital dust

Organize your home screen by categories or folders

Hide or disable the apps that steal your focus

Your phone shouldn’t feel like a slot machine. Make it a sanctuary instead.

3. Purge Your Photo Gallery

Thousands of pictures—and how many are screenshots of memes or blurry duplicates?

Back up important photos to cloud storage or an external drive

Delete anything you don’t need or want to remember

Create albums for quick access to your favorites

Decluttering your gallery makes space for the moments that really matter.

4. Reorganize Your Home Screen

Your digital “front porch” deserves a glow-up.

Choose a calming background or minimalist theme

Move the most-used tools to your main screen

Turn off notifications that constantly pull your attention away

(Pro tip: I use Buzzkill to automate how my notifications are received now. For example, when a specific notification that I receive daily comes through for the day's free assets from one of my favorite websites, Buzzkill automatically opens the notification, making me deal with it right then and there. On the other end, I have my banking notifications that have my balance in them hidden under a "Nothing to see here" tag until I'm ready to view or swipe away and if there is any notification from my daughter, it reads it out loud and keeps reminding me about it until I either reply or swipe it away. Finally, I auto-dismiss most YouTube notifications unless they include "Josh Johnson" as a keyword because I'm always excited to watch my favorite comedian that day.)

Less chaos, more intention. Your nervous system will thank you.

5. Tidy Up Your Files

Your desktop isn’t a junkyard.

Move files into clearly labeled folders

Delete old downloads, duplicates, or documents you no longer need

Back up everything important to a cloud service or drive

Try sorting by task, project, or priority—whatever works for your brain.

Final Thoughts: Clear Space, Clear Mind

Digital clutter might not seem like a big deal until you realize how much noise it’s creating in the background of your day. A tidy device can bring clarity, boost productivity, and make you feel more in control.

You don’t have to do it all at once. Pick one task a day—or even one per week—and let your digital life bloom, one refresh at a time.

Need help getting started?

Our Digital Declutter Checklist is live now on the social media platform of your choice. Grab it and let your spring reset begin.

Want a little help staying on track?

Check out our Phoenix Reset Kit that launches this week in the Etsy shop or browse more self-care and productivity tools designed to help you rise. Click here to shop.

---

Delete the junk. Reclaim your focus. Rise like you damn well mean it.

—Katie (aka the redheaded rebel who once had 47 tabs open and called it “multitasking”)

P.S. The Phoenix Reset Kit is nearly finished (I’m fighting perfectionism with every pixel). Stay tuned—it’s dropping later this week, and it’s built to help you burn the old systems down and build better ones.

[fartemis-crock]

CHARACTER AESTHETIC.

𝐁old /italicise what applies.

━━ 𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐒

tinkling of piano keys / the click of a lock / an engine starting, stalling / sinful whispers / stifled sobbing / the rattle of death / alarm blaring / a siren call / spanish guitar strumming / loud laughter at midnight / banshee screeching / drunk hiccuping / the giggle of a child / rolling thunder / disdainful chuckling / bones creaking / carefree whistling / singing off key / flesh hitting concrete / white noise / a mirror cracking / laboured breathing / a groan of pain / waves lapping at the shore / the roar of a lion / pages turning / swords clashing / deep humming / birds chirping / dial tone / tongue popping / fingers tapping a surface / crystals breaking / music turned up to the limit / raindrops on a roof / angry yelling / yawning at noon / horns going off / ravens talking / bubblegum bursting / splashing water / teakettle squeal / militia drums / wolves howling / slow, sarcastic clapping / soprano notes / whispering pleas / gregorian chants / mournful cries

━━ 𝐕𝐈𝐒𝐔𝐀𝐋𝐒

filled notebooks / dogeared books / clean shaves / empty stares / sleeping at a desk / the witching hour / driving all night / restless tides / broken windows / coffee any time / freshly baked goods / bonfires / lounging felines / circles under your eyes / bedhead / tangling in the sheets / leather jackets / paint stains / music sheets / too many tabs to find the music / weary brows / card games / messy ponytails / strained smiles / unsent texts / heart on your sleeve / slow dancing in the rain / star gazing / torn jeans / piles of clothes / filled bookshelves / hurricanes / chapped lips / cliff diving / the lights in venice / stolen kisses / poet shirts / half melted candles / empty coffee mugs / hot tea / unlaced boots / shameless flirting / too young to be so old / laced fingers / eyes in the trees / bloody knuckles / french letters / neon lights / ivy covered balconies

━━ 𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒

burnt leaves / turkish coffee / spiced rum / moss / vanilla beans / freshly cut grass / decay / sea salt / strawberries and cream / cinnamon / honey / copper / pineapple / wet dog / pine needles / wood shavings / rainsoaked bark / something sharp, indefinable / russian tea / dandelions / squeezed limes / italian wine / freshly laundered clothes / coming rain / hardtack and gruel / roasting flesh / something cloying in the chest / ichor / lilies in spring / pollen / damp clothes / meat-pies / greasy coins / curdled milk / leather / bone marrow / wet cement / rice-cakes / open paint cans / cocoa leaves / tar / apples / sandalwood cologne / orchids / molded onions / cheap perfume / mistletoe / rubber on fire / grave dirt / old books / new books / melting plastic / roses / poison oak / sea cucumbers / peppermint

tagged by: @mad-hunts thx <3333 tagging: u bitch my braincells are too damaged for thinking rn

[dancuny]

Robot Royal 36 Camera

Being a big fan of The Robot cameras and having done an earlier blog post on the Robot Luftwaffen Eigentum camera, I wanted to get a camera I could use when we went on vacation or just out for the weekend. Years ago, I came across an excellent and working condition Robot Royal 36 camera. It was from an online auction, so I made a relatively low offer and won it.

 When I received it, I was surprised by the weight and heft of this particular camera. I put it through routine tests to see if the shutter was indeed opening and closing, which it was. The lens was clean, another positive, and the transport was active and in good working condition.

 When COVID hit, I was laid off from one of my favorite jobs. I started writing my camera blog. After being off work for ten months, I got hired for a better position and loved the job, company, and boss, but I put the camera on my shelf for the next four years until I recently retired and started writing my camera blog again.

History:

Otto Berning & Co. started in Dusseldorf, Germany, in 1933. Otto Berning and Co. began to manufacture amateur cameras in 1934 when a young watchmaker in his 30s, Heinz Kilfitt, designed the first compact camera for what Robot would be so well known for. The design had a spring-loaded motor winder, a unique item brought to the camera industry due to his watchmaking skills. Heinz Kilfitt also designed the camera to have a 24x24mm film format. He offered the format size to both Kodak and Agfa, who rejected it, so he sold the design to a young Hans Berning, who was only 23 and worked for his father's company. 

 Robot cameras provide a film format of 24x24mm on most of their cameras. An advantage of the 24x24mm frame size was that the photographer could get 50 images on a roll of film instead of the standard 36 in the traditional 24x36mm format. Another advantage was that there was no need to turn the camera for vertical shots.

Some unique features of the Robot cameras are that they use a rotary shutter and sprocket film drive system, which are more common in the cine cameras of the time. Robot cameras also have a 90-degree switchable viewfinder, allowing the photographer to point the camera in a different direction while looking through the viewfinder and taking photos. All the cameras have a winding motor of film advance system that allows the photographer to wind the motor and shoot rapidly up to 5-6 frames on a single wind, depending on the camera.

 Robot also provided either Carl Zeiss or Schneider-designed lenses on their cameras, which gave the photographer unparalleled sharpness in their images. The cameras were die-cast zinc and stamped stainless steel bodies chalked full of clockwork inside, and they are very sturdy and extremely well made, a testament to the high-quality materials used in their construction. 

During WWII, Robot produced cameras for the German Luftwaffe to put on their Stuka dive bombers. After the war, Robot continued producing high-end cameras like the Robot Star and Junior cameras. Robot produced the Robot Royal in three formats, with a few feature and film format variations. 

My Camera:

My model is the Robot Royal 36, model III, and it has the film format of 24x36, the most common film format for 35mm cameras. My camera has a Schneider Xenar 45 mm f2.8 lens. My camera has a Schneider Xenar 45mm f2.8 lens. It measures 5.5" wide x 3" tall x 2.75" deep from the front of the lens to the back of the camera and weighs a whopping 2 lbs. 0.4 oz. That's the first thing I noticed when I unwrapped the camera. This is a very solid and well-built camera with unique features that set it apart from other cameras. 

To open the camera, as you hold the camera there is a chrome tab with etching on it on the left side. With your thumb, you lift that and the latch and open the back of the camera. Unlike most 35mm cameras, this camera has a take-up spool you need to load the leader into as opposed to just putting the film leader into the take-up slot, and the camera takes up the film. You need to take the take-up spool apart and thread the film leader into the spool, then put the cassette back together and load the film and take-up cassette into the camera. Then fire two frames, and you're ready to go.

My camera has shutter speeds from 1/2 sec to 1/500 sec, along with B for timed exposures. The bottom of the camera has a winding mechanism that allows me to fire 12 photos at full wind, which takes me about ten and a half cranks to wind fully.

 The rangefinder on my camera is very bright and easy to focus. The other significant item about the Robot camera and lens system is they allow the photographer to shoot with zone focusing, which is fantastic for street photography. The lenses have yellow, green, and blue dots, which correspond to the colored apertures on the lens. The lens's apertures 2.8 and 5.6 are in yellow, F8 is in green, and f16 is blue. All you need to do is match up the color dot on the focus dial and the aperture used, and the lens shows you your depth of field. This procedure is similar to all other lenses, but the color coding makes the system more "user-friendly."

Removing and reattaching the lens of the Robot Royal 36 is simple. A tabbed collar at the bottom of the lens, when moved to the left, allows the lens to be detached. To reattach the lens, align the two red dots and slide the collar counterclockwise. This careful procedure ensures the lens is securely in place.

Once I shot the film, One the back of the camera and to the right of the viewfinder is a switch with a green dot for regular forward film transport, there is a red dot which closed the viewfinder half way and "R" for film rewind. I put the camera in the "R" position and reminded the film as a regular 35mm camera procedure. On the bottom front of the camera are the flash sync ports for "X" (electric flash) or "M" (bulb flash) settings.

Results:

 I took a roll of film, put it through my camera, and walked around my backyard to see how the camera performed. This is the first time I got to shoot with the camera since I bought it 4-5 years ago, and there were a few anomalies in the camera. There seems to be a slight light leak, but to be 100% transparent, the film I used was old, and one I had shot just a few frames with and rewound the film with the leader exposed more than ten years ago, so I can't 100% blame it on this camera.

Conclusion:

While Leica has the prestige, Robot and Alpa are probably the best-built cameras in terms of craftsmanship and overall quality. The camera is excellent, the lenses are fantastic, and it offers things built into the system, like motor advancement and an excellent feel. I had a great time shooting with it, and I need to run a fresh roll of film through this beauty more often.

Thank you for taking time from your busy day to review this blog.

Until next time, please be safe.

[houseofgerrard]

Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: Tahari White Linen Long Sleeve Tunic Blouse Size 2X.

[zwei-rhunen]

Cat puked on my keyboard. Cleaned it but the keyboard is very unhappy, and refuses to work properly ( the s key outputs "s/" , space bar now translates to window+shift+tab (or whatever the shortcut is that displays a menu of currently open windows on your current desktop), my w key is suddenly "7" and my 7 key is "w[", etc etc. It is fucked upppp lmao)

I set it aside, hoping if I give it a few days off then it'll spring back to life. If not then good thig its black Friday month lol but I've been using this specific keyboard for so long, I'd hate to let it go.

Tried bringing out another keyboard we've had sitting around and after wiping it down (YEARS of thick dust accumulation lmao), realized the batteries needed changing ofc. Couldn't get the batteries out bc the compartment was too snug + one battery had kinda exploded and probably some of that dry acid wasn't helping to allow battery removal so i chucked that in the bin.

Briefly contemplated the possibility of playing with just my mouse over the next few days.

Looked down at a shelf and remembered I have a controller.

Issue: I am as good as a controller as I am with breathing underwater. It's a foreign device. I Do Not Controller

But that's okay, I just need a solution for movement bc my mouse can handle all the button-pressing bits lol (technically I CAN navigate with the mouse too, but turning is really awkward, clunky and slow I just realized I can change the mouse sensitivity, oh shit! I'm invincible!!!!)

Thankfully, I just need to swivel my thumb on the stick and nothing else NOPE I'm putting the controller back inside the emergency break glass case. Ya gurl is rocking it with one hand!!

Gonna set up some chat macros (hello/goodbye/i seem to have misplaced my keyboard + emotes ) and I'll be good to go I think!

[lolsie-prompts-off-pinterest]

My (Partially) Tidy Phone

CW: implied school shooting

Most people periodically clean out their phone. Be it monthly, weekly, daily, hourly, most people sweep away the unused apps, or search bars just to clean up their space– if it gets bad enough, sometimes clear it away to make their phone run faster. 

I clear out 98% of my phone almost daily. It bugs me to know that things are open and running in the background so I get rid of them. I delete every duplicate photo, unused app, clear things away, go through my safari app and clean it out with mini purges. I like my space neat, tidy, and efficient. There is only one thing that is criticized and forgotten. A page lost in time. 

Truly a testament to its time, the Hunger Games fanfiction has been sitting in my tabs since the reawakening of the fandom in the early spring. (All the movies had been put on Netflix and Tik Tok did as Tik Tok does, obsess and move on) I’d spent spring break re-reading the series. I’d fallen in love with the story again, Katnis and her bow, Peeta and his words, just like the rest of the internet had. I believe the fanfiction was a retelling of the story, but it was such an insignificant part of my life that I can’t remember for sure. I didn’t even finish it. I’d started reading the fic out of blatant curiosity. I’d only been a part of major and active fandoms previously, so I wanted to know what fanfiction from the early 2010’s even looked like. 

I don’t remember anything specific about the story. Some fanfictions had made me roll on the floor crying with laughter. This one didn’t. I’ve cried over some of the stories. Not this one. Some of the plots are original– something I’d never seen before. This was a retelling of the series. I don’t remember anything about it because it wasn’t anything remarkable. 

There’s one reason and one reason only that it stays on my phone when nothing else does. This was what I’d been pretending to read while stifling tears and fearing for my life on a random day in Junior Year English. 

[mikerichardson2023]

Organization and structure is the primary objective for this week. Initially, the aim was to pick up where the work ended in the Spring. However, bearing the internship's overarching goals, I shifted my focus. Historically organization and structure are some of my weaknesses; this week allowed me to develop these personal skills. When the time came to open the computer this week, something felt off. The plan was to open the device, pull up the digital history project and primary sources and dig into the work; It was more complex than I'd hoped. I was met with a plethora of issues. I must situate the various issues before the work can actually begin. My computer has become a dated device and occasionally needs to be fixed. It took about fifteen minutes for the password prompt to appear and another twenty to boot up. I reflected on my situation while sitting in my complacency. In the past, I would have become upset with the technology and the situation dwelling on negative aspects. I realized this situation presented a unique opportunity for development. I decided to reboot the computer, ensuring any updates were validated. This was an excellent decision for a couple of reasons. Once the computer finished rebooting, the device ran efficiently as it should have before this moment. While the computer updated, I used the time to organize my office space. There were still papers and books from Spring that needed to be properly stored after the end of the semester. The room needed a bit of cleaning attention after the material was organized. I high-dusted and wiped surfaces. Traditionally I would have required more time and effort to do this under these circumstances. This was an opportunity to act like a professional and set up my space so that I may work more comfortably and efficiently. Once the space was cleaned and the device worked, I returned to the original plan of picking up where I left off. However, I decided to continue the process of organization and structure that had been started. I accessed the digital history project and primary sources. The institutions established during the late 19th and early 20th centuries are listed by state. I developed a Word document with screenshots focusing on the States and zoomed in for easier readability. Using this document will certainly help with the pacing of search inquiries. This document will save time shifting back and forth between pages and identifying the next school on the list. Furthermore, I plan to print these pages out as a checklist to accompany the project's development, assisting me with the organization. Finally, I decided to assess the state of the digital history project. I used this time to do a bit of housekeeping but this time digitally. I went through the list and completed several tasks. I checked for spelling errors and adjusted capitalization issues. I deleted schools that were added to the list more than once. Finally, I reset the colors of the tabs on schools that were filled in for demonstration purposes. The project feels significantly more organized and structured, so I will be ready to pick up where I left off in the Spring. I realized how vital organization and structure are to professional development by holding myself to a higher standard than I traditionally have. I did not get negative when confronting adversity and used the time wisely to create an environment and protocol that would make developing this digital history project more efficient. I am excited to get back to work.