#spoliers: she is not perfectly fine

[thicved]

— " I so do NOT need a bedtime! I slept three hours last night, and I'm perfectly fine! See? "

[calypsocolada]

PAPER RINGS | takuma

synopsis: takuma meets your parents, it goes better than expected. authors note: hi there. i was watching the proposal and this story came to me :] i really think jjk is for the girlies and gays with the amount of male characters that are literally too sexy. anyways pls enjoy this story!!!!!!!!!!!!!! does anyone else wanna help me track down gege? he's a fucking menace. cw: slightly suggestive, ANGST, shibuya mention, slight spoliers about nanami wc: 4.3k

--------------------------------------------------------

You glance over at the driver's seat, Takuma is bouncing his leg up and down, his hands gripping the steering wheel, knuckles white. He was nervous. You could tell it instantly. He was rigid, Takuma was never rigid, he was always relaxed. Your first few weeks of dating he was nervous around you and you could see those same mannerisms now. You reached over, turning the radio down a bit. It had been playing the same three Christmas songs on every channel. Takuma glanced over at you and gave you an anxious smile. So you reached over and laced your fingers with his free hand. 

“You survived Thanksgiving, Christmas will be fine.” You whispered, pressing your lips to the top of his hand. You nod his head. 

“I don’t think your Dad likes me,” He starts.

“Why would you think that?” You asked, leaning your head against the seat, inspecting Takuma’s side profile. He was distracting, his jawline and soft brown hair, his chestnut eyes that matched the soft tan sweater you got him. He looked good. Really really good. 

“I don’t know, I just feel like he doesn’t like me.”

“My father is very outspoken, Ino, he once told one of my ex’s that he was ‘fucking annoying’ right to his face.”

“Oh god.” Takuma breathes out. 

“My point is that if he didn’t like you, he would’ve said something to you already.” You say, reaching over to run your fingers through the ends of his hair. Takuma leans into your touch as he presses lightly on the break at a red light. 

“And your mom?”

“My mom,” you laugh. “She loves you.” 

Which is true. Your mom had pulled you aside during Thanksgiving to rave about Takuma. How he helped her in the kitchen and didn’t seem bothered the least bit when helping clean up. Takuma glances at you with a hopeful look in his eyes. 

“Really?” He asks as you nod your head. He bites his lip to keep from smiling too largely. You see his shoulders relax slightly and you roll your head back towards the passing trees. The heat blew from the vents to your cheeks, snow falling fresh and white from the dimmed sky. 

There were things you were keeping to yourself. Big changes you weren’t ready for. You wanted everything to go perfectly this weekend but in quiet moments of reflection you wondered who you wanted it to go perfectly for. Because once you said the things on your mind that just might be the end for you and Takuma. 

You and Takuma have been together for about three years now. You met in Shibuya on Halloween night. It was a crazy night that you didn’t like to remember much of. You’d been there for a Halloween party and next thing you know things were blowing up and people were dying. Takuma had appeared like some sort of superhero, he helped escort you to safety. That night you learned about things you never wanted to learn about. Such as the existence of curses, and that cute boy that you’d fall in love with worked to exterminate such curses. Some jobs he did were fine, minimum damage. But most jobs he’s barely make it out alive. Like the one in Shibuya. Takuma didn’t talk about that night at all, only meeting you. Everything else was an extremely sore subject for him. He had talked about a Nanami Kento at one point while somewhat drunk but the most you got out of him was that he looked up to him but then he got quiet. You assumed Nanami wasn’t around anymore, probably because of the curses they fought. 

That was something you could’ve gone your entire life without knowing because it irrevocably changed things. Life was scarier now. But on the other side of the coin you also met Takuma. 

You and your friends had gone to some stupid party, you remember it raining at one point, your freshly curled hair going flat. You stepped out of the party into the brisk cold air, rain hitting your hot skin, cooling you off. You let your head fall back against the brick wall behind you. You don’t even know why you came out tonight, it wasn’t less than an hour until your friends all found some boys to mess around with and leave you all on your own. You pulled the cold beer bottle up to your lips and downed what little you had left in it, tossing the glass bottle in the trash. It cracked loudly in the bin. You needed another drink. Or maybe you needed to call a taxi and get the fuck home already. You let your eyes fall closed, the bunny ears on your head sliding and almost falling off your head. You adjusted them and shivered slightly, the cold air finally getting to you. Then again what did you expect, wearing a flimsy corset and ripped tights, a cotton ball glued sideways on your ass. Something shifted down the alley, a few cans falling over. You turned at the sound. You were wary usually and dressed like this you shouldn’t have left the club alone. A growl erupted from about thirty feet down the alley. This had you turning and walking back towards the bar until something large stepped in your way, knocking you back on your ass. There was no explanation for what you were looking at. It was a monster, about nine feet tall, with grotesque features and a gaping mouth, its purple tongue lolling to the side. The scream that left your lips was part fear and confusion, part hoping someone slipped you some mushrooms or something because what you were looking at right now couldn’t have been real. The monster spoke then, in a garbled tone, something about its mother? Something about shopping? You couldn’t understand it before there was a burst and suddenly you were covered in purple goo. 

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, it’s dead.” A comforting voice said, you hadn’t noticed you were still screaming. You took a staggering breath, wiping the goo from your face. A hand extended and you took it. The man in front of you steady you, looked you over for any wounds then slung his jacket over your shoulders. “You're okay? I got it before it could touch you?” He asks. You blink a few times, unable to form words through the shock of what you just saw. He reached forward, barely touching your shoulder. “Ma’am, it’s dead. I’m here, nothings going to hurt you.” He says and slowly your eyes raise to meet his. Beautiful brown eyes. There’s a quiet moment, like the world has slowed for a moment. The stranger's eyes looked gentle, his voice the only keeping you from freaking out all over again. “You're not hurt are you?” He asks again and slowly you shake your head. “Thank god for that,” He says and he sounds genuinely relieved. 

“You saved my life.” You say with a sort of unbelievable amazement. “From--from uh- what- what the fuck was that..?”         

You’d asked him his name that night he saved you, he made a show of things and kissed your knuckles as he left. A month or so later he walked into the bookstore you were working in. He had bandages on his eye and the color gone from his face. You almost didn’t recognize him. When he checked out he looked at you, squinting slightly. 

“I recognize you,” he says as you look up.

“I was in Shibuya during Halloween.” You say and recognition dawns on his face.

“You were dressed as a bunny.” He points out as you blush. You certainly were, it was your friend’s idea. You each went as some kind of cute animal. There was a cat, a mouse, a rabbit and your youngest friend dressed as a dog. 

“Not my best costume.” You say, somewhat shielding your face. 

“You looked cute.” You blushed even deeper. “I didn’t get to thank you.” You say as you hand him his receipt. “You saved my life.” 

“You’re welcome. I’d do it anytime.” He says before blushing. You smile down at your shoes. 

“Could I buy you a drink maybe?”

That was the start of everything. You kept seeing Takuma until he finally kissed you, then you saw him all the time. Now three years later you two lived together. Things had been busy and your parents lived in another state which is why he never got to meet them in person until recently. Takuma grew up in a warmer climate and coming down to where you lived, mid-winter was like a Christmas all of his own. The first time you guys flew here for thanksgiving it was snowing. Takuma ran out of the airport and took thousands of pictures. It was cute. He eagerly bought a parka, beanie and earmuffs. He wore them all the entire weekend. This weekend was no different. He was ready now for this climate. He had various cable knit sweaters you helped him pick out, and a barrage of scarfs. You loved how he loved your hometown. He called it Christmas town, and said it reminded him of Hallmark movies. It always made you laugh because it was one of many states that got lots of snow, he just wasn’t used to it.  

You pull up and the front door to your house is already cracked open. The lights are perfectly placed outside, white snow covering the roof and the ground. There’s a shoveled path for you two to follow. You both hop out, Takuma grabs all the bags before you can even think about grabbing your own. 

“Give me a bag, boy wonder.” You tease as Takuma just shakes his head and walks towards the front door. He was very chivalrous all the time, always putting you first. You rolled your eyes lovingly and jogged to catch up with him. 

“Don’t slip on the ice patch there.” Takuma calls out over his shoulder as you step over said spot. Your Mom appears at the front door, the fog on the window blurring her figure. She waves as both you and Takuma wave back. Then she pushes open the door and holds it open for you two. 

“Hi honey! Merry Christmas!” She says as you two meet in a tight hug. 

“Hi mom. Merry Christmas,” you return. Your mom pulls back, tucks your hair behind your ear before turning to Takuma. 

“Hi handsome, love the sweater.” She says, reaching and pulling Takuma into a hug. 

“Hi, Mrs. Y/L/N. Merry Christmas.”

“Come inside you two, out of the cold.” Your mom said as Takuma picked the bags up and you held the door open for him. The heat hit your cold cheeks immediately, the smell of your Mom’s homemade cookies hitting you. You smiled to yourself. You moved away from home several years ago, teenage rebellion, but lately you’ve felt a bit alone. You had your friends, who weren’t really all that great if you were being honest, and you had Takuma of course but all your best friends and family lived here. You missed the cold weather, the snow, the wide open space that city life back there was lacking. You sort of felt like you were being pulled in two separate directions. Homesick and lovesick, you just wished there was a cure. Where everything could be in one place. Then there was the glaring fact of Takuma’s dangerous job. That had you unable to sleep the nights he was out working. Laying on the cold side of the pillow wondered if tonight will be the night he doesn’t make it home. It was really fucking with you lately. Which is why you planned the trip back home on thanksgiving and Christmas, maybe to ease some pain in your heart.  

“Alright, I fixed up your room so if you guys wanna rest for a bit dinner will be ready by six.” Your mom says. 

“Where’s Dad?” You ask. 

“Late, work has been crazy. He’ll be home around six.” She says as you nod your head. 

You lead Takuma upstairs, pushing open the door to your old bedroom. Your mom redecorated it a few years ago, thank god. You’d be humiliated if Takuma saw your old one direction posters. Takuma dropped the bags on the floor and fell onto the bed. You kicked off your shoes and shimmied out of your jacket. Takuma leaned up on his forearms, giving you that look. You cocked your head and bit back a grin. 

“Don’t you dare look at me like that.” You say walking a bit closer. He leans up, reaching for your thighs to pull you closer. 

“Like what?” He asks innocently, large fingers wrapping around you as you bury your fingers into his hair. His eyes glistened in the dim light of your room. 

“You know.” You may as he gives a quick tug and you fall on top of him, legs spread to straddle his legs. His hands travel up and rest just at your hips. “My mom is right downstairs. You’re going to make a terrible impression.” You half laugh as his lips press softly against your open throat. 

“Me? You’re the one who can never keep quiet.” He says muffled against you. You blush deeply remembering the time you met his parents. You two had snuck off and got caught by his cousins. It was humiliating. His lips travel up to your jaw, kissing softly. You shudder, pushing him back onto the bed, caging his body with yours. 

“Maybe I should make a mess out of you then, see how you like it.” You say teasingly, pressing your knee between his legs. He jolts at the contact, a strangled noise escaping his lips. 

“Shit,” he gasps. “No, no, you’re right. It’s not smart.” He said as you laughed, moving off of him. His hands are still on you though, as though he’d really like to take a chance. 

“We should’ve stayed in a hotel.” You sigh, reaching to pull the blankets out from under you. Takuma snorts at that, helping as you two get under the covers. He pulls you against him, wrapping an arm around your back. 

“Are the walls that thin?” He asks as you nod your head against his chest. 

“Trust me they are.” 

“I don’t wanna think about why you know that.” He mumbles in the dark as you giggle. 

Your father was about fifteen minutes late and he came rushing inside, profusely apologizing and kissing your mom on the cheek as he entered. His eyes found you and lit up. You rushed to him as he grabbed you up, spinning you around. You giggled. He pressed a kiss to the top of your head. 

“Hi pumpkin, Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas, Dad.” You beamed. Takuma was a few steps behind you as he held out a hand to greet your father. Your dad glanced at the hand and shook his head. 

“Bring it in, son, it’s Christmas.” Your Sad said as Takuma breathed out a soft laugh, meeting your Dad in a hug. Your heart soared. None of your other boyfriends ever made it past a second trip to your parent’s house. Not a single one. Your father usually had his mind made up the first time. It seems as though Takuma made a good first impression. 

You sat beside Takuma at the table, he held your hand underneath the entire dinner, even as your hands went clammy. It was cute. The dinner went over better than you could’ve imagined. You had never seen your Dad laugh so much, he was usually somewhat serious. But Takuma was funny, that was one of the many things you found attractive about him. He was charismatic and charming, you never stood a chance staying single around him. After dinner Takuma helped your mom clean up as you and your Dad drank cocoa in the living room. 

“Pumpkin,” Your dad started as you turned to him. “I think this one’s good.” He motions to the kitchen. Your heart swells. 

“He is.” You say, there was a sort of swoon to your tone. 

“A lot better than that last one you brought home that one was fucking-“

“Annoying.” You finished with a laugh as your Dad nodded his head, making a face as he remembered.

“I can tell he cares and as much as I don’t want you married off states away from your family I guess I wouldn’t mind if it was with that boy.” You stared at your Dad, feeling slightly choked up. 

“Won, that’s uh- thanks Dad.” You said, sipping the hot drink, but you couldn't stop the tears from falling. Your Dad noticed. 

“Oh honey, did I upset you?” He asks as you shake your head. 

“No! No of course not its-- I,” You buried your face in your hands. Saying it outloud would make the things you felt finally real. You weren’t ready for that. Your Dad reached for you, pulling you into a hug. He pressed a kiss to the top of your head, hugging you tightly. 

“What is it then?” He asks. You didn’t want to talk about it. Today was a happy day. Your family liked Takuma. You loved Takuma. You weren’t ready for things to change. Things were starting to feel normal. 

“Baby, what’s wrong?” Takuma’s voice came from the threshold of the kitchen. Your teary eyes slid to his. Fuck. You turned and pressed a kiss to your Dad’s cheek. Getting up you reached for Takuma’s hand, pulling him upstairs to your room. “What’s going on?” He asks as you press the door closed behind you. You blow out a breath, everything hitting you at once. Tears slid down your cheek in a hurried rush, clearly taking advantage of you finally letting them fall. Takuma was across the room in a split second, pulling you against his chest, kissing your forehead and holding you tightly. You sniffled, his scent strong, warmth and cashmere. He ran his hand through the back of your hair and just held you until you calmed down. 

“I don’t want things to change.” You said, your voice sounding pathetically sad. Takuma pulled back slightly, your eyes meeting his. He reaches and rubs the tears from your cheeks with his thumbs. 

“What things, Baby?” He asks, eyes searching. You swallowed. 

“Us.” You say. He looks at you for a long moment, slowly cocking his head before shaking it. 

“Us?” He echoes. You let your eyes fall closed, annoyed at how you’ve thought about this shit for months but couldn’t form the right words right now. 

“I didn’t wanna do this but my Dad-- he said something.” You say.

“What he’d say?” He asks, concerned about his features, looking as though he might take care of your father for you. 

“It’s not like that, he- he meant well.”

“What’d he say, baby?”

“He said he’d be okay if we got married.” You say, letting your eyes drift back up to Takuma’s. He’s gently biting his lower lip.

“Really?” He asks, his thumbs caressing your cheeks. You nod your head.

“And that’s not something you want?”

“Of course it’s something I want,” You say in a rush, not wanting him to think you didn’t want him, not even for a second. You wanted him. Forever if you could. He slowly nods his head, trying to understand. “I’m sorry, I wanted to know what I was going to say before I said it.” You sigh. “I want to marry you, that’s something you want to, right?” Takuma looks at you like that's a stupid question. He nods his head. “Then there are things I have to say.” 

“Okay,” Takuma says softly. You take his hand and walk across the room, sitting down side by side on the bed. You remembered years spent in this room. Dreaming of the moment you fell in love. Writing little stories in your journal until the sun rises in the sky. Reading them to your family at breakfast. You remember the first boy you brought in here, how he made fun of the books on your nightstand. The second boy you brought home got in a screaming match with your dad. The third one apparently was fucking annoying. And now the fourth. Takuma. There wouldn’t be a fifth. This one was the love of your life, you fucking knew it. It was the love your parents had. 

“I can’t stay with you if you continue to be a sorcerer.” You say and the weight of it leaves your shoulders and presses down on your chest. The look on Takuma’s face. There were no words to describe the confusion, the hurt, the whirling of emotions. 

“Oh,” He says. That’s all he says.

“Ino, I’m sorry, I didn’t want to do this on Christmas but it is something I’ve been thinking about. Especially lately.” 

“Why did you talk to me about it?”

“Because- because I know how much you love it.” Tears well up again. Fuck you hated crying. You never used to cry but now it came so damn easily. 

“I do. I do love it.” He says and your heart breaks a little. 

“I know you do.” You say and your words sound so damn sad. Takuma’s warm hands find yours, lacing his fingers with yours. You take in a breath and clear your throat. “I’ve thought about it ever since Thanksgiving. How my parents seemed to like you. How you being home with me just felt right. How much I love you. Then my Dad says something about marriage and suddenly it hits me. I don’t want to be married years from now waiting by the door while you're out at a job. Wondering if you're going to make it home. Wondering if one of those fucking monsters got you. You told me yourself how many sorcerers die and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about that because, Ino, I don’t want to be without you. I don’t want to know how it feels to lose you.” Tears were coming steadily now. You look and see that Takuma is crying too, he’s nodding his head as though he understands.

“I didn’t- I never thought about it. Jesus…” He sighs, pulling you into the tightest hug. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry, Y/N.” He mumbles into your hair. “I got so caught up in working I never stopped to think about how it would affect you.” He says and you feel that weight lifting from your heart. “I like being a sorcerer, but I love you, of course I’d choose you. I’d choose you anyday, anytime, anyway.” He vows, pulling back, he’s smiling, he’s kissing you. This was all sort of a surprise, you really thought it was selfish to make him choose, thought you’d push him away. “I love you. Fuck sorcery.”

“Ino, are you sure-” He’s kissing the doubt from your lips.

“I’m sure,” he says softly against your lips sending shivers down your spine.

“Marry me then.” You say and Takuma pulls back, a stricken look on his face. You meant it. He’s shaking his head.

“Asshole,” He says and it pulls a surprised laugh from your lips. “I had a whole thing planned.” 

“Can we forget what I said then?” You ask and he laughs heartily, pulling you back to his lips, kissing you softly. “There’s one last thing,” You say.

“You want to move back home.” He says, it’s like he read your mind. “I had a feeling when you pretended not to cry on the way back from thanksgiving.”

“I miss my family.” You say, Takuma smiles.

“I know. I’m fine with that, I like it here.” Takuma says. As far as you know Takuma didn’t get along much with his family which is why he was so eager to impress them. 

“Are you sure? Because we don’t have to move.”

“I want to, baby. Being here feels right.” You can’t help but smile.

“We don’t have to worry about that now.” You say, wiping your face as Takuma leans and presses his lips against your own for a long moment. Then he’s pressing against you as you pull him down on top of you on the bed. His hand grips the back of your thigh, hiking it up as his core presses against yours. You both make some noises as the kisses get messier, more desperate. Your cold hands slip under his sweater, sliding against the cut of his abs. He shivers under your touch. The building tension growing. Something else has grown, pushing against the inside of your thigh as your hands travel around his back, pulling his weight fully on you. His lips kiss a trail to your neck. His other hand sliding down your stomach to the button of your jeans. Fingers deftly unbuttoning your pants, dipping slowly under the waistband.   

There’s a knock on the door that has Takuma’s hand springing out of your pants. 

“Hi, honey, just wanted to check on you guys, is everything alright?” You heard your mom from outside the door. Takuma’s head fell on your chest as he sighed, defeated, you bit your lip to keep from laughing too loudly.

“We’re fine, be down in a minute!” You called out as Takuma groaned against you. 

“I don’t think I can make it this whole weekend.” He whined as you pushed up off the bed, pulling him with you. 

“Don’t you sorcerer's exercise restraint?” You tease as he grabs you by the waist making you yelp slightly, dissolving into laughter.

“You’re really funny,” He says, leaning and pressing his lips against yours. He really can’t keep his hands off you as you two find yourselves falling back into the bed again and again that weekend.

[writersblockedx]

Ghosts - E.M

Pairing - Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader Warnings - VOL 2 SPOLIERS!, Mentions of death and violence, drug and alcohol use, Summary - Y/n starts seeing glimpses of her boyfriend. This would be perfectly fine, except for the fact she had watched him die a week prior.  Words - 1.8K

A/n - I was depressed after finishing Vol 2 so I wrote this.

Masterlist

The first time Y/n had seen Eddie, I mean after he had been swarmed and killed by demo-bats, had been at a small town memorial. While most were packing their lives away, those who had lost someone, or had someone missing (and then presume dead) were urged into a candle lit ceremony. It wasn't much. A lot of pictures (many of Chrissy Cunningham) and flowers joined at the side and then some small notes to the dead. Y/n stuck out like a sore thumb in her infamous Hellfire baseball t-shirt.

Prior to all of this, to Eddie being dubbed suspect number one, no one would have even glanced at the logo. In fact, Y/n and all her friends, were brushed over. People didn't pay them a second of their time. But now, as she walked through the graveyard, she was the girlfriend of the freak, of the murderer, of the missing guy. Y/n had become the centre for glares and mutterings of disappointment and comments of 'what a waste'. The girl could have had everything, yet here she stood, feeling nothing but empty.

She placed a copy of her favourite poloid of Eddie, one of which she had taken at a gig with him and his bandmate. She leant the image far from those deaths that were actually sympathised. It wouldn't take long, maybe only an hour before it was ripped to pieces. Not that it would stop her. No one knew who Eddie was. Nor what he had done in favour of saving this town from it's many monsters. Worse thing was, she couldn't tell anyone either.

As a tear fell from Y/n's eyes, she climbed back up to her feet. That was when she saw him.

It was just a glance, a double take when she could have sworn she spotted that familiar long, curly hair and tainted leather jacket. Her eyes scanned the trees. No sign of anyone.

Her brows had furrowed but she shrugged it off as nothing and went along with her life.

Around a week later, if that, she had been sat on the floor of what was left of her bedroom. Many cardboard boxes surrounded her. Today she was sorting clothes into 'keep' and 'throw'. The girl had been around half way through the huge pile that was scattered across her floor, when she picked out a Metallica shirt that wasn't her own. Her finger tips held it high, letting the material hang.

It still smelt like him.

Eddie had given it to her one night when they decided it best for Y/n to sleep at his. This must have been only a month into dating one another when she hadn't taken one of Eddie's draws for herself. So, the boy generously let her borrow his sacred Metallica t-shirt - even with the few small holes that littered on it. She never gave it him back. Now she wouldn't even have the chance.

The girl pressed the fabric into her nose, letting that scent, his scent of cold coffee and weed, fill her senses.

She missed him.

As she retracted from the t-shirt, letting her eyes flutter open, they met the mirror. And her body went still. In the reflection of the mirror, as clear as day, stood Eddie. He wore his wrinkled Hellfire shirt, with a pair of distraught jeans, a chain and his boots. He smiled at her through the reflection.

Y/n jumped to her feet, "Eddie," Her voice spoke. But, as she turned, ready to face the boy she had cried to God for, she stared at a blank wall.

He had never been standing there.

That night, she had tossed and turned in her bed. She swore he had been standing there. She saw him. And, maybe, this was her minds way of dealing with the overwhelming pain that was consuming her. Or, maybe, something else was going on. I mean ghosts really were nothing compared to the hidden world beneath Hawkins.

When she awoke the next morning, she felt a weight next to her in the bed. She didn't pick on it at first. Her brain had yet to wake properly, yet to even settle back into every day life without Eddie.

As she turned in the sheets, she hit his side. A soft hum felt from her lips that sounded almost like she was saying his name, but it was to muffled to know from sure. The girl snuggled closer into the shoulder of whoever was laying next to her. When the cogs in her brain started running, she realised.

There shouldn't be anyone laying next to her.

Carefully this time, she let her eyes open.

Eddie wasn't there.

But she had felt him. She had touched him. Like how they used to do every morning: Eddie would be stirring awake, which would prompt her from sleep. He'd have his arm hung over her waist from the night before, but she'd turned over, snuggling right back into his side as they slowly got pulled from their dreams.

Y/n sat up in her bed. In her room that didn't feel like her own anymore. In a body that was empty.

She missed Eddie.

The girl had to drag herself throughout the day. The memory of Eddie's touch still haunting her from the morning. It felt as if the universe was tormenting her and the never ending pain that littered her body.

Once again, she was slumped on her bedroom floor, sorting out a variety of boxes. She had been cleaning out one of her draws, when she retrieved a forgotten joint she had once hid from her parents. One that Y/n had been saving for Eddie when he next came to stay at hers for the night. The girl picked it up, letting it twirl between her fingers.

She thought back to the first time she had actually bumped into Eddie. At one of Tina's famous parties, where drunk teenagers was practically spilling out of the walls. Y/n had been wondering outside, only slightly drunk by that point. Eddie had been leant against the wall, a joint stuck between his lips. The only reason he had attended was to sell to girl's like Y/n. However, what Eddie hadn't realised then was that Y/n was more than the naive, rich juniors he usually targeted.

He came to her side when she stumbled at one of the stairs to the front door, "Woah," He laughed as his hand grasped at her waist as to only steady her. "I hope your not planning to walk home." He stated as a smile graced his lips.

Y/n answered by dangling her car keys from her finger tips. Eddie, still sober enough, snatched the keys from her. "No." The girl had whined, dragging her words out.

"I'll get you home, princess." He had told her and, had she not been drunk, she would have at least attempted to hide the blush that painted like freckles across her skin.

Y/n pulled away for a moment, taking in Eddie's features as she realised. "Eddie Munson?" She questioned as to make sure she was right in the boy who was seemingly taking her home.

He nodded, trying to urge her on. "That's me."

"Shit," She had cursed to herself. "Did I interrupted your smoking?" Her words slurred but Eddie still heard her. The girl's tone was smothered in genuine guilt in that idea that she had stopped the boy from his much needed smoke break.

His smile grew and that was the moment Y/n knew she would remember forever. "It's fine. I'm sure you'll make it up to me one day." That had been a joke. But a day later, Y/n was hungover at his trailer door, demanding to thank him. And so, he invited her in and they smoked a joint together.

Now, Y/n was starring down at the untouched joint that Eddie had rolled himself. Though, he wasn't here anymore to smoke it with her.

She'd miss that too.

The girl flicked the joint into the bin, knowing she wouldn't dare even light it now. As she glanced up, peaking through the small gap where her door was left ajar, she spotted it again. Him, wondering through the hallway of Y/n's home. This time, she didn't stand still, her body didn't become glued to the floor. Instead, she rushed after him.

"Eddie!" She yelled as the figure led her towards the kitchen. She had been following Eddie's back, wrapped in his leather jacket as his hair swayed. "Eds!"

Y/n could have screamed when she turned the corner towards the living room and it was completely unoccupied. No leather jacket or baseball t-shirt in sight. "No!" She snapped as her hand soothed her temples that had been pounding since this morning.

This was beginning to kill her.

Seeing him, and then not. Touching him and then not. Smelling him and then not.

It felt like his memory would forever haunt her. She had to question if this was going to be the rest of her life, spent chasing after moments that weren't really there. Maybe she was just slowly loosing her mind.

But then, there came the final time she saw Eddie's ghost.

The girl had awoken to the same feeling of Eddie's figure next to her. Only to open her eyes to an empty space. She sat up in bed, in his Metallica t-shirt that didn't really smell like him anymore. Y/n had pulled herself from her bed like stripping paper from glue. And then she made her way to the bathroom, before opening her bedroom door and being faced with him.

He was starring at her, a slight smile tugging at his lips that only urged Y/n to run into his arms. But, if she had learnt anything, she knew the moment she went for him, he'd disappear back into nothing but a memory. So she stood still in the doorway - despite how much she hated to do so.

She swallowed the lump that had grown in her throat and steadied her breathing. "What do you want from me?" She asked, stern in her tone.

"I want the best for you." He said.

The reminder of his voice could have made Y/n melt. But she stayed steady, letting the water gently prick at her pupils. "I can't-" She started, cutting herself off with a sniffle of a cry. "I can't do that without you, Eddie." His name felt foreign.

He stepped forward and nerves bubble through Y/n's veins. "I promise you," He started, inches from her now. "You can." He said, reaching out his palm. "And you will." His hand cupped her cheek and Y/n welcomed it.

She knew she shouldn't have, but her eyelids closed. "Stay." One word that was a plea.

Her eyes opened.

She stood alone.

[azucanela]

pls some headcanons for Bakugou, Shinsou and Shoto when the reader kisses them infront of everyone. Thank you :)

KISSING THEM IN FRONT OF EVERYONE

FT. BAKUGOU KATSUKI, SHINSOU HITSOHI TODOROKI SHOUTO

SUMMARY: in which you and the boys kiss in public, and now everyone is screaming. oh no.

WORD COUNT: 2.1k

WARNING: season three spoliers, insecurities, arguments,

A/N: i wanted to do scenarios bc this was too good ugh thank YOU for requesting this 

BAKUGO KATSUKI

lol so HAVE FUN WITH THIS ONE

you two are already dating but you keep it on the down low because its Katsuki and he’s like ew people knowing i have feelings other than anger? ew ew ew

you’re fine with it, but if he thinks its bothering you he’ll talk to you about it and smother you with affection, but he’ll act like its nothing

wants to rub it in his faces that you are his girlfriend, yes, but also he doesn’t want the teasing that comes with it. he knows for a fact that all his friends would bully him because he is SOFT FOR YOUUU and he’s also just a generally private person

you respect this and like it’s fine woo yeah okay it’s nice being the only one that sees the side of him that’s all soft and cute and affectionate

i can’t really see the two of you slipping up unless it’s influenced by a lot of emotions

where do these emotions come from? you might ask

his kidnapping.

you were a mess, but it was lowkey, real lowkey. and unlike the others you do not support trying to save katsuki on their own, trusting the heroes to do their job is the way to go.

so you don’t go with them. the next time you see your lovely boyfriend is when he’s giving kirishima money

so naturally, consumed by all the fear and panic you felt while he was gone, you kiss him!

and he kisses you back and its really soft and oh-

what a shame the whOLE CLASS IS THERE 

everyone is really confused, but they’re happy because they think that the two of you finally addressed the clear tension between the two of you, all it took was a lil kidnapping

except then you pull apart, completely disregarding them, your hands on his face, “baby are you okay?”

you don’t call someone you haven’t kissed before baby

then it clicks for the rest of the class

SCREAMS.

so much yelling

oh god have fun with that one

the bakusquad is yelling at him for not telling him, the dekusquad is scolding you for not telling them, there’s just a lot of questionable things

katsuki will get SO FLUSTERED because this is not what we wanted

at least the attention was off of his kidnapping now

maybe that was your goal idk 👀

Katsuki really wished everyone would shut up about his kidnapping, it wasn’t something he wanted to think about right now, or ever if he was honest. So much had happened in the past few days and he was still struggling to process all of it, and the disgustingly warm welcome he’d received to the dorms wasn’t helping. It was gross. 

He’d shoved cash into Kirishima’s hand, rolling his eyes when he began to panic at the possibility that he’d taken it from Denki, shutting down the idea almost immediately.

And then he saw her.

Y/N was shoving past everyone and heading to him, and he couldn’t help the relief he felt when he saw her. Katsuki was grateful she hadn’t been involved in the little escape plan Deku had hatched out, but seeing her made him feel calmer than even as she practically tackled him, hands coming to his cheeks as she brought him into a kiss.

Their lips molded together perfectly, his hands coming to her sides and holding her like he’d never let go as her hands gripped his face rather harshly. It would have been the perfect moment, had the rest of his class not been there. 

Y/N seemed to disregard this as she pulled apart, eyes darting across his figure as his brows furrowed at her clear distress. “Calm down, idiot.” His cheeks are turning red as he realizes that everyone is staring, but he can’t help but focus his attention on her as he feels a wave of relaxation wash over him as she begins to run her hands all over him in search of injuries.

“Oh, I’m sorry, for caring about your wellbeing.” She grumbled, wrapping her arms tightly around his torso when her hands left his face. “Baby, you scared me.” His arms wrapped around her shoulders securely, as he rolled his eyes, though Katsuki wouldn’t deny he was appreciating all the attention she was giving him, he was beginning to feel embarrassed as he allowed her to hold onto him.

As if the kiss hadn’t been enough to astonish the rest of their class, the pet name simply amplified their shocked as they all cried out, “baby?” Kirishima had exchanged looks with Mina, who looked equally confused before returning their gaze to Katsuki, a look of betrayal evident on both their faces.

Stupid barbarians. “SHUT UP EXTRAS!” Katsuki exclaimed, holding Y/N tighter to his chest as his cheeks flushed red, he could hear her laugh against his chest. “Can’t a guy hug his girlfriend in peace.” 

“GIRLFRIEND?”

He was grateful for the subject change, though he didn’t appreciate the fact that his relationship had been exposed, until he looked back to Y/N, who beamed at him. 

If she was happy then it was fine he supposed. 

SHINSOU HITOSHI

welp

this one will probably have the funniest reaction

like

you did not just kiss him, in front of all these people, was that a joke?

i think he’s the only one you wouldn’t already be in a relationship with, purely because this is just 10x funnier

so ever since the two of you first started hanging, there have been people criticizing you for befriending him at all, because of his quirk, they just cannot believe that the Y/N L/N is hanging out with Shinsou Hitoshi

but also, ever since the two of you started hanging out, the bullying has lessened immensely, most because you threatened everyone it was really subtle, but they got the message

nobody screws with Y/N L/N

anyways, you two are probably hanging out again, and it’s been a while since you got one of those comments, which is the main reason this one sets you off.

“quit hanging out with that freak L/N, he’s gonna ruin your chances at becoming a pro.” 

shinsou was used to this, and your violent reactions, so he immediately brought a hand to your arm to ensure you didn’t commit a murder, shaking his head at you

you turn back to him, and you’re lowkey glaring at him before turning your piercing eyes back to the other guys

and without breaking eye contact with them, you grab Shinsou’s face, earning stares from everywhere in the cafeteria, and then kiss him

shinsou is shocked

shinsou.exe

you killed him.

he did not anticipate this um, you kinda caught him by surprise with this one, he genuinely did not think it was possible for you to feel this way for him

when you pull away, the kiss is almost like magic

you don’t mess with Y/N’s friends, much less their boyfriend

When Y/N beams up at Shinsou, he can’t help the way his heart skips a beat. It’s ridiculous, he knows this, and he hates that he can’t prevent it. Shinsou is no fool, he knows Y/N L/N, a UA student that could potentially be a member of the Top Ten heroes in the future, would never like him. He wouldn’t be shocked if she befriended him entirely out of pity, given how students used to treat him prior to their unlikely friendship. She’d weaseled her way into his life, despite his attempts to avoid her, ignore her, and even tell her off, she’d stuck around. 

And yes, Shinsou had made the mistake of liking her. On days like this, he’d entertain the possibility that Y/N liked him back, because sometimes she hugged him for longer than average friends did, or maybe she’d press a kiss to his cheek, or even hold his hands.

That was probably just something best friends did.

“Hitoshi! Don’t you know what this means?” She exclaimed, hands finding their way onto his shoulders in the middle of the cafeteria.

Yes, she used his first name.

Shinsou rolled his eyes, trying to keep himself from getting flustered purely because her hands were on him, “Y/N it’s not a big deal, and besides-”

“We’re going to be in the same class!” Her hands move from his shoulders to around them as she pulls him into a hug, “I’m so proud of you.”

He’s shocked that she’s saying these things, and its clear she has more confidence in him than he does. Aizawa had offered him daily training to get him onto the same level as the other Class 1-A students, and he’d be joining them the next semester, assuming everything went well. “It’s no guarantee.” He mumbles, wrapping his arms around her torso.

Shinsou felt Y/N swat his back as she pulled away slightly, much to his dismay, “you’re so talented! Of course, he’s gonna let you in.” 

She sounded so sure, and Shinsou felt his heart swell with pride. 

He moves to speak, only to be interrupted by a passerby, “L/N. Come on, quit hanging out with that freak.” Y/N recognized him, James, he’d bothered Shinsou before, and he’d tried to get Y/N to stop hanging out with Shinsou and been unsuccessful. “He’s just gonna ruin your chances at becoming a pro.”

Y/N pulls away slightly from Shinsou, her brows are furrowed as she moves to confront him, only for Shinsou to grab her arm, shaking his head. “Don’t.”

Turning to glare at the guy, Y/N scoffed, “is this because I rejected you?” 

“He asked you out?” Shinsou asked, but Y/N gave him a look that said they’d discuss it later. She could remember the day vividly, he’d asked shortly after she returned from hanging out with Shinsou, telling her she could do so much better, and so much better meant him. 

She disagreed. And now Y/N couldn’t help but feel bothered as their argument begins to draw attention from others within the cafeteria, she can see in the corner of her eye that Izuku has come to a stand. Though Iida is grasping his shoulder to try and prevent him from doing anything irrational, they all knew Y/N could stand on her own. 

James scoffed at her words, “you probably rejected me because he made you.” The implications were dark, the idea that Shinsou had forced Y/N to befriend him and reject James, though he’d never used his quirk on her and swore he never would. 

Shinsou found himself releasing Y/N’s arm, taking a step backwards as he sighed, only for her to grab his hand and yank him closer before taking his face in her hands and kissing him.

She was kissing him.

Oh.

Shinsou’s mind empties as Y/N pulls away, turning back to James as she says, “my boyfriend doesn’t need to make me do anything.” And the boy practically stomps off in frustration, grumbling about Shinsou’s stupid quirk or something of that sort. Not that either of them are paying attention as Y/n brings a hand to the back of her neck awkwardly, searching her mind for an explanation.

“Boyfriend?” His voice is soft, small, and he knows there are other people in the cafeteria but he can’t bring himself to care about their stares. 

Y/N turns to him, and she feels her cheeks warm as she tries to avoid his eyes, “well. Only if you want to-”

“I want to.” Shinsou replies too quickly, his cheeks flushing.

Y/N nods, “cool.” 

“Cool.” 

Izuku can’t help but beam as he watches the interaction, hitting Iida’s arm repetitvely as as he exclaims, “does this mean I’ll be able to study his quirk more?”

Tsu just sighs, “this means we don’t have to listen to her pining anymore.” 

TODOROKI SHOUTO

THIS ONE

probably the most relaxed about it, not flustered at all, you tried thoughh

your relationship isn’t really a secret, it’s just that neither of you are that into PDA. 

there will be occasional cuddling on the common room couch of the dorms during movie night, but that’s seen as normal to the rest of Class 1-A. during dates, there will be hand holding, a kiss on the cheek, an arm around the shoulder, otherwise most of the intimacy is reserved for your rooms

this lack of PDA is why class 1-A was completely unaware that the two of you were dating, 

though you hadn’t tried to hide it, you also hadn’t made it entirely public, you also lowkey thought everyone knew.

mostly because it was so blatantly obvious that shoto was in love with you, but the entire class thought he was unaware of his own feelings and you were just oblivious 

oh how wrong they were

you come into class one day and you see shoto and you’re just like lol hi babe and you kiss him, he kisses back, LIKE IT IS THE MOST NORMAL THING

he’s temporarily caught off guard because like i said you two don’t really do PDA, but he digs it, 10/10 would kiss you again in front of everyone, mostly because after all of the CHAOS that this kiss causes, the other boys in the class stop blatantly flirting with you

speaking of chaos

the class erupts into PURE CHAOS

so much yelling and screaming, they are so confused, have fun explaining that one

shoto is equally confused as to why they are confused and you’re just laughing because you knew this would mess with their heads. he ends up getting a little flustered by all the sudden attention the two of you are getting, but maintains his apathetic attitude.

Shoto places his bag beside his desk before pulling his things out one by one to place them onto the desk along with the small cup of coffee. Shoto wasn’t really the coffee type himself, he preferred tea, Y/N on the other hand had an obsession if he was honest. Of course, he enabled this obsession, he liked being the one to bring a smile onto her face. 

Yeah, he was whipped.

He could tell when Y/N entered the room because the atmosphere seemed to change entirely, she seemed to brighten everyone’s mood despite how early it was. Greeting their other classmates, she began to move towards him, seeing that he was holding a cup of coffee, Y/N raised a brow. “You drink coffee now?” She asked as she placed her things down. 

Shaking his head, Shoto extended the hand with the cup of coffee towards him, “it’s for you.” He explained, small smile on his face.

The rest of their classmates watched the interaction, Kirishima punching Kaminari’s arm as he exclaimed, “so manly!”

Bakugou scoffed from beside the both of them, “if he was really manly then maybe he’d actually ask her out.” Crossing his arms, he averts his eyes from the two, finding the class’s obsession with their relationship a tad ridiculous. Though everyone seemed to be at least slightly invested in the potential outcome at this point. 

“Whatever, Bakugo.” Mina says, “L/N has the prettiest boy in class wrapped around her finger- ugh! I want someone to love me like that.” She places her head in her hand, brows furrowing as she stares at the two. Y/N is smiling widely at Shoto, who returns her smile with one of his own. 

And then Y/N kisses him. As though this is an everyday thing. 

Mina practically jumps out her seat, and though Bakugo would never admit it, his mouth gaped open in shock as she cried out, “did you two just kiss?!”

Shoto’s cheeks are red as they pull away, though his face remains apathetic as he looks to the ground and Y/N replies, “can I not kiss my boyfriend?” She tilts her head in confusion, laughing slightly at the outburst and the clear shock in everyone’s faces. 

“Boyfriend?” Hagaruke cried out. “Why didn’t you tell us?!”

Y/N’s brows furrows as she looks to the rest of the astonished class, “did you guys seriously not know? I thought we were obvious, I literally call him by his first name-”

“We thought that was because you two were madly in love with each other but neither could confess!” Momo exclaimed suddenly, her cheeks flaming red at her outburst as she slaps a hand over her mouth.

Mina simply nods in agreement, “exactly! But now he’s buying you coffee and-”

Shoto shakes his head in confusion, “I often buy her coffee, normally she finishes it before we get to class.” He looks to Y/N, a small frown on her face, “today she woke up too late for me to walk her to school so I couldn’t give it to her then-”

“You’re so manly, Todoroki!” Kirishima exclaims, though Shoto simply looks at him in confusion as he removes his hand from Y/N’s waist. 

Shrugging, he takes a seat at his desk and Y/N speaks once more, “I just don’t understand how you guys didn’t know.” Standing beside him as he organizes his things while seated, Y/N runs a hand through his hair, and Shoto’s cheeks seemed to redden once more.

“You guys aren’t normally so touchy!” Uraraka has joined the conversation, shock clear in her features. 

Shoto nods in agreement,  “your behavior today is abnormal, Y/N.”

Now Y/N can feel her cheeks warm as she removes her hand and takes a seat t her desk, “you guys are weird.”

Izuku simply sighs, deflating almost as he watches the interaction and leans over towards Iida, “now I owe Kacchan money.” 

[literaila]

hopeless reality

BAU team x reader 

request: Hii! I’m in serious need of some angsty sshhiiiit and I love your writing... Could you maybe write some platonic BAU x reader where the reader is the youngest, idk she can be like 20 or something, and a case goes TERRIBLY wrong and she’s injure dying and everyone’s like but she can’t die, she was supposed to outlive us all!

warnings: kinda sad, panicked everyone, hotch basically abandons all of them, some spoliers past season 6, no concrete ending.. 

a/n: I’VE NEVER WRITTEN ANYTHING LIKE THIS ITS SO DIFFERENT 

*

“I can do it.” 

Those words weren't surprising for any of them. 

As the youngest, Y/N was always looking for new ways to prove herself to all of them. She was used to the staring, and the scoffs people made when they saw her next to the all mighty prestigious BAU team. She was used to people looking at her and wondering if they had picked someone up off of the highway, or if she was a murder just riding along with them. She was used to being undermined and underestimated by everyone. 

Age was a tricky little thing people didn't seem to look past. 

But it wasn't as if she put up with it. When the local police officers were making side remarks about her right behind her back, she didn't keep her mouth shut. Didn't stand there and listen to them expect nothing of her. 

And she enjoyed the looks on their faces when they realized she was listening. She liked the stammered apologies that came out of their mouths while she stared them down. 

She wasn't one to bite her tongue. 

And she had something to prove, to herself and to all of her teammates. She had to show them that she was valuable, that her age didn't affect how much she could do, how much she was willing to do. 

And so, it was expected when she offered herself up like a doll for sale. 

It's what happens during every case. 

This time though, all of her teammates nodded along with her. It was a man closer to her age, only a couple of years older, and she was the most likely to lure him. The most likely to trap him in the prison of being caught. 

“Okay, Y/L/N will go in, Morgan and Rossi follow her in as backup, blend into the crowd.” Everyone awaited Hotch's formal orders, ready to finally be done with the case that had taken them days to solve. “You three need to remember, he's going to be on the lookout for us, he's definitely seen the news by now.” 

The three of them nodded, Y/N already antsy on her feet as she waited to leave. Definitely the most willing to catch him out of anybody else in the room. 

She nodded at the rest of the team, smiling at Garcia’s “See you soon Neptune! Be careful.” from the phone on the table. She grabbed her bag, filled with clothes that would help her fit into the bar scene, and her vest. Just in case. 

She started to walk out the door, trailing after Morgan and Rossi as they got ready to leave when Hotch called her back into the room. 

Everyone else had already left, and her nerves were telling her to continue walking and get to her job, but out of anyone else there, she was used to being pulled back behind. 

“Yeah, Hotch?” 

“You shouldn't hesitate to call in Derek or Dave, this unsub isn't going to stick around if he suspects something. You know that?” 

It took all of her willpower not to roll her eyes at his protective instincts, instead going for a smile, hoping to ease whatever paternal nerves he could be feeling. 

“Course, Hotchner. I know what to do.” 

She nodded at him, choosing not to stay any longer than she had to, saving herself from his double-checking, and reassuring. 

She waved with one of her hands walking out the door. 

*

Wearing a dress and both a bulletproof vest was extremely uncomfortable. Especially when it was supposed to be discreet. 

Y/N sat in the middle of the bar, sipping on a fake drink, throwing smiles to anybody who seemed to look at her, waiting for the one person she needed looks from to approach her. 

She knew what to expect, an alpha male, expecting her to fall under his wing and go with him home- which of course would be when he would torture and murder her like he did all those other girls -and she wasn't going to let herself slip up when he was so close. 

A couple of guys had come up to her already, asking her if she was new around if she needed some help getting home, if she was lost in a bar like this one. All things that she tried not to show disgust at, smiling and telling them she was expecting someone. 

Though, when she saw him, she knew he would be different. 

He was carrying himself differently. Smirking at everyone else, unlike a normal too confident male would. It was more threatening, like he expected everyone in the room to do whatever he said, whenever he said. 

An alpha male. 

Y/N could tell in almost an instant that this was her guy, and that it was time to put on a show. 

*

It was an easy catch. The bait pulled him perfectly. 

And she played the part just as expected. 

Laughing at everything he said, smiling at him whenever she got the opportunity, drinking the drink she knew he was planning to spike soon. 

It was a rehearsed part, one she was exceptional at. 

But, when he started pushing her, begging her to come home with him, promising her that he would make it worth her while, she didn't know what to do. 

With the last girls, he had waited longer, drugged them before he even dared to take them home, stayed at the bar with them so that they would be more comfortable with him. 

But it had only been twenty minutes, only a short minute since he had first looked at her. 

He was devolving too fast. 

Y/N smiled, trying not to let the sudden nerves she felt show in her eyes, trying to keep herself comfortable sitting so close to him. 

She looked over to Derek, who was sitting across the bar, pretending to drink while he listened to their conversation. He was looking back at her, giving her a look that she knew was asking if she was okay, if she knew what to do. He was worried too. 

She took a quiet deep breath in. 

“I haven't finished my drink yet,” she said, playing dumb, trying to act like she was innocent enough, trying to test him. 

“I have plenty of drinks back at my place.” 

She giggled, playing with the bracelet on her wrist, looking back over to Derek. 

“It's so early in the night…” She whispered, flaunting her confidence, playing off her “drunkenness” as best as she could while still smiling at him. 

But she could tell that he was getting impatient, and wasn't willing to wait anymore. 

“What game are you playing?” 

And she could hear his real voice. Not the man that went to strange bars to pick up women, but the man who murdered them as soon as he took them home. The man who was planning to murder her. 

She looked over to Derek once more, once too much. 

The unsub was looking with her, glaring eyes meeting Derek’s, and the reaction was written out in front of all of them. 

He had seen Derek on TV. Seen him with the FBI. 

He turned back around, his hand slipping to his pocket. 

“You’re with them huh?” He was whispering, but his voice was demanding, furious. 

And the giggle that came out Y/N wasn't fake this time, just nervous. 

“What are you talking about?” She asked, her feet tapping on the barstool, her body getting ready to run, trying to smile. 

“The FBI.” 

He spat the words in her face. The smile falling from her lips. 

The hand moving to point at her. 

What was it she wondered? 

What was pain? 

“Physical pain inspires the worst kind of helplessness.” 

*

Ambulances were surprisingly loud. 

Louder than you’d assume. 

They were threatening, and dangerous, and did nothing to help give you hope. 

Derek didn't get scared. He didn't need hope to keep him upright, he wasn't threatened by any of the ambulances that he had seen before, he didn't find them too loud. 

But he was supposed to be protecting her. 

They all knew, going into the bar, before the bar, that it was dangerous. They all knew that there was a strong possibility that she could get hurt. But she was cautious, and she was brave. So he didn't worry. He didn't think he had to worry. Even with an unsub who was known for lashing out, for making big decisions with no thought. Hotch had told Derek, all of them, that this would be harder than normal, that they needed to be more watchful, more careful. 

She’d been laughing with them in the car on the way over. Telling them that if either Derek or Rossi got in the way of her job, she’d disown them as her friends. She’d laughed and joked with them, not an ounce of fear in her eyes, no anxiety resting upon her body.

But he saw that look in her eyes. 

That strange scared look. 

It was unfamiliar, an anomaly to him. He’d never seen her eyes like that. 

She was the youngest, the most daring, the person who offered to do anything that no one else wanted to. 

She laughed when one of them said they were too tired to go out for drinks, offered to watch both Hotch and JJ kids when they were busy. She moved between them like she was mending with them, and she was everyone's best friend. 

She took too many risks, moved too fast, thought too hard. She did everything on a whim, but it was impossible to stop her. Impossible to fade her from the scene. Impossible for anything to scare her like it would any person. 

He’d never had to worry about her before. 

She’d made it clear that she could take care of herself, that she was strong, that just because she was the youngest and most inexperienced, it didn't mean she couldn't do what any one of them could. 

She was so strong. 

And he’d never seen that look in her eyes before. 

Desperation, trepidation. Two things that had never filled his body like in that moment. 

He could see the unsub moving, he could see her worried eyes, her panicked posture. He saw everyone else around them, moving normally, none of them quite as scared as she was. He saw Rossi looking over at him from the bar. 

And he saw the gun in the unsubs hands. 

He wished he had been paying attention more, watching her, checking to make sure she seemed just fine. He wished he had watched the unsub, checked to make sure he couldn't see any weapons on him. He wished that he could’ve done it all over again, asked her to step back, to let him catch the guy. 

And he wished he could’ve been fast enough. 

The unsub had pulled out the gun, had stared at her with his threatening eyes, and she moved back, tried to get away but, she wasn't fast enough, and the unsub was too quick. 

Derek had watched her stumble backward. He watched the pain light in her eyes and the panic fade out. 

She used to tease him about watching everything. 

���We aren't at work, you don't have to profile everyone in the room, Derek.” 

Then she’d pass him a drink. Tell him that it was supposed to be fun, that they all needed a little more fun in their lives. 

But now, all Derek needed was to get her eyes out of his head. 

Her eyes were so desperate and panicked and worried for everyone, for everything. Her eyes were usually so brave and so curious. 

He needed to get them out of his head, he needed this moment to be over. 

He needed to not be sitting in the back of an ambulance with her. 

It was surprisingly loud. 

And scary. 

He’d never been scared like this before. 

*

Rossi wasn't worried. 

He wasn't. Really. 

He knew her, knew how fast her body would spring back, rejuvenate itself. He knew that she was strong, that she could stand any amount of pain, that when he saw her next she would be smiling, and she’d ask him if this meant they could have a party. 

He knew she’d be fine. 

He wasn't allowed to go in the ambulance with Y/N and Derek. The paramedics assured both him and Derek that only one could go, and Rossi could see the time slipping past them. He could see the clock ticking and he knew that they had to speed things up. 

So, he’d pushed Derek into the ambulance. 

He wasn't worried, so why would he go with her? 

Besides, Derek was scared. He was shut down and focused so much on her, Rossi thought that Derek would have fought him for the place in the ambulance. 

He thought about all the people he’d seen get hurt while working this job. Thought about all the times one of them made a mistake, or someone wasn't quick enough. Most of the time, they were fine. Not many people got hurt on the job. 

There was always a couple weeks of leave, a couple weeks to get themselves back together, but they always came back. 

He hadn't seen too many people die. 

So he wasn't worried. The odds were that she would live. The odds were that she would be completely fine by the time he got to the hospital. 

Because she was strong. She was healthy, had a young body, and more energy than she needed in the first place. 

Rossi thought it might be good for her to slow down. This might be a good experience for someone like her. Someone who takes too many risks, goes out on a whim, and doesn't slow down even when she has the chance. 

This might help her become a better agent. Someone more careful. 

He wasn't worried. 

She’d be fine. 

Really. 

*

JJ got the news first. 

Back at the police department, while they were clearing up. She knew that Derek, Hotch, and Rossi all knew. She knew that the unsub had clued into who Y/N was, she knew that Derek and Rossi hadn't been enough to protect her. She knew that Y/N was on her way to the hospital, that she’d been shot in the field. 

They didn't tell her where. Or how she was doing. 

JJ had been here before. She had been in the situation of not knowing, of constant anxiety, of the questions that just bang back and forth in your head until you can get your answers. 

She knew how that felt. 

She looked over to Spencer and Emily, both of them clueless to what was going on, to their friend being brought to the hospital. 

“Have you got the unsub detained?” She whispered, leaving the room, trying to gather all of the facts before she made assumptions. 

“Yes. He's on his way to the police station now.” 

“And no one else was hurt?” 

“No.” 

JJ nodded to herself, feeling relieved at the news. 

The questions were in her head, spinning around. She knew that she wouldn't have any of them answered any time soon. Not until they could get into the hospital and see her. 

“And JJ?” 

Hotch’s voice was the same as always. Demanding. 

“Yes?” 

“I need you to tell Spencer and Emily.” 

“Hotch-” 

“I’ve got to go.” 

And then she was left. With her news. And her questions. 

And her confusion. 

Of how this could ever have happened. 

*

Hotch wasn't allowed to have a reaction. He wasn't allowed to think about it. 

He was working. He had to do his job. 

Members of his team had been shot before. 

They all knew the risk there was in going in. They all knew how disguises couldn't hide everything. And they all knew that people got hurt doing the job. 

It wasn't surprising. Wasn't anything new. 

But she had reassured him. She had told him she knew what she was doing, she knew what she was doing. 

He had believed her. 

He could hear his voice in her head, telling all of them that she would do it. Like she always did. Like every other time, she got the chance. 

She never took a step back, never looked at the situation before offering to go. 

It was reckless and stupid. 

No one ever said a thing. When she offered to be the bait, all of them accepted it, expected it. They all knew that she would be the first to jump at the chance to go out in the field. They all knew that she was smart and strong, and she knew what she was doing. 

None of them ever said no. It was so hard to say no to her. 

But she had reassured him, Hotch had double-checked this time, just to make sure she would be safe. He put two experienced agents as her back up, two people that he trusted and knew would protect her. 

“I can do it.” 

She could do it. 

She’d been shot. 

And he felt like blaming himself, felt like being angry, furious at her for offering to go, for reassuring him and lying, and he felt like being angry at himself for letting him go, for not properly preparing her. 

But he didn't have time to ponder those thoughts. 

He didn't have the time. 

He couldn't have a reaction. 

He had a job to do. 

He was working. 

He wouldn't think of it. 

*

Emily probably knew better than anyone else. 

She was probably most familiar with pain. With hurt. 

She knew how this would affect her, she knew how she would feel. She knew how it would change her even after she was healed. She knew how the scar would never leave her body, and that she would wince every time she saw it. 

No matter how much Emily wished she wouldn't understand, she did. 

She knew what would happen to Y/N. 

If she lived that is. If she was strong enough, if the bullet wasn't stronger than her. If she wasn't too late, if the doctors could save her. If she would stay alive. 

And she would be there this time. 

If she died. If the world was cruel enough to take her away. 

She would have to be with her friends, she wasn't allowed to run away again. She wasn't allowed to go across the world and break alone, she wasn't allowed to turn her back like she had before. Even if she wanted to. Even if running away seemed like the only thing she could do. She would stand by them, and learn what it felt like to have your friend die. 

But she wouldn't come back. 

That was probably the hardest thought. 

If Y/N died, she wouldn't have the opportunity to come back. She wouldn't have the months to heal, the job across the world, she would have the pain of knowing that her friends thought she was dead, but she also wouldn't have any pain. 

She’d be dead. Gone. Forever. 

And Emily knew what that meant. 

It almost killed her to know that. 

When she watched Spencer freeze as JJ told both of them, when she saw the worry in JJ’s eyes, she knew that the only thing she could do was be there for all of them. For her, if she could. And for them, if she had to. 

It was a scary thing to know your friend was hurt. To know that while everything else in the world stayed the same, several hearts were breaking with the knowledge of the pain their friend was in. It was crazy to think that not everyone's world changed. 

It was selfish of her to be thinking of herself, to be avoiding the memories and the thought that came with Y/N being dead. It was selfish to assume she was. It was selfish that she wasn't doing anything to help her friends, to help herself. It was terrible of her not to hope, not allow herself to feel some relief. 

But she had to protect herself. 

Expect the worse, welcome the best. 

Emily was scared. She was scared for Y/N, scared to be there this time, scared to have to hold everyone together like she couldn't before. Scared for the worse to be the reality. For her friend to really be gone. 

She could hear her laugh in her head. She knew that it wouldn't leave. It wouldn't go away until Emily could hear it again. 

Pain. 

She was so familiar with. She was so used to. 

Pain. 

Emily probably knew that better than anyone else. 

*

38,000 people in America die of gunshot wounds each year. 

An average of 100 a day. 

That's all Spencer knew. 

He didn't know what was going to happen, if she would live, if she would die, if she was okay, if she wasn't. He didn't know what they would do without her, what would happen if she really did die, if the youngest died before any of the oldest could. 

He didn't know how everyone would feel, how he would feel if she died. 

He didn't know what any of them would do without her laughter, without her pushing for them to have fun when work was over, without her running around the office, making everything seem bright when it was nothing but dim. 

He didn't know what would happen. What was happening? 

But he knew

38,000 people in America die of gunshot wounds each year. 

An average of 100 a day. 

He knew that if he could see her, if he had more information about what had happened, he could figure out the probability that she would live. He knew that if he had been there, he would know how to feel, what was going to happen. 

But they were sitting in the hospital waiting room. They couldn't see her yet. 

Derek hadn't said a word. Emily was sitting next to Spencer. JJ was walking around, checking on all of them instead of herself, being as selfless as she could while they were all stuck in a state of panic. 

Rossi was talking to the nurse again. 

There still wasn't any news. 

None of them were sure how she could’ve been hurt, with her vest, and her self defense techniques. None of them were sure how hurt she could be. 

But 

38,000 people in America die of gunshot wounds each year. 

An average of 100 a day. 

Spencer held onto that. 

She wouldn't be one of the hundred. She wouldn't. 

He thought of the sleepovers Y/N, Garcia, and he had. Like children. He thought of how both of them spent the entire night picking on him, trying to make him laugh. He thought of how she always convinced the two of them to come over, told them that it was movie night even if it was a completely random day. 

He hated the thought of not doing that anymore. 

38,000 people in America die of gunshot wounds each year. 

An average of 100 a day. 

She was the youngest. Everyone teased her about it. They all expected her to live for a hundred years, far longer than any of them could. She was the youngest and the brightest and the bravest. She wasn't supposed to die before any of them could. 

38,000 people in America die of gunshot wounds each year. 

An average of 100 a day. 

When she had offered to be the bait, Spencer hadn't felt worried. He didn't even think of her getting hurt, only felt relieved that this case would finally be over, that they could all go home. He didn't worry at all. 

But he should have. 

Because she always did this, she always offered, and no one ever turned her down. The odds were that she should’ve gotten hurt long before this. 

Odds were that she was extremely lucky. 

Except for now. 

38,000 people in America die of gunshot wounds each year. 

An average of 100 a day. 

Spencer didn't know what would happen. He didn't know if she would live, if she would die. He didn't know what would happen. He barely knew anything at all. 

But Derek wasn't talking, Emily was silent, JJ was avoiding the topic, and Rossi had asked the nurse for an update eight times in the last thirty minutes. 

He didn't know. 

38,000 people in America die of gunshot wounds each year. 

An average of 100 a day. 

She wouldn't be one of the hundred. 

She couldn't. 

*

Before JJ had told her, Penelope knew something was off. 

No one had called her to update on if they had got him or not. Her phone had been completely silent. 

That was off. 

She called her Neptune. 

It was one of the planets that couldn't be seen from Earth. 

She’d always asked where the nickname had come from. 

Penelope had called her that because Y/N was unreachable to her. She held so much, all this brightness, and you could barely even tell from the surface. 

It was a nickname that seemed to fit her more than anything else. 

And she couldn't help but think of it as soon as she got the call. 

Neptune. Her best friend. 

She didn't understand much about profilers, but she knew that Y/N was different from all of her other friends. She didn't know if it was because she was younger, and less experienced, or if she just carried something different to her. 

But it was a smart decision to be her best friend, to depend on her. 

They’d spent nights together, laughing, creating insanity with every sentence, every hour that ticked past on the clock. They’d spent time laughing, and crying, learning everything they could about each other. 

‘Best friend’ was a loose term, one that didn't extend far enough for their relationship. 

And Penelope had known something was wrong, as soon as no one had called her. 

The first thought was that the unsub had gotten away, that he was going somewhere else and they still had to catch him. 

But she knew that wasn't true, because they hadn't called her to help. 

And then she thought that maybe he had been difficult, that maybe it was taking all of the team to help deal with him. 

But, that didn't seem quite right. 

And then she thought of all the other times something like this had happened, when she hadn't gotten a phone call, and there was nothing but silence for a couple of hours. 

And all she could think of, was the day Emily almost died. 

And then the bullet Spencer had taken to the leg. 

And then the stabbing Hotch had been through. 

For Penelope, after those thoughts, she didn't have any choice but to find out where they were. 

So, she hacked their phones. 

It wasn't completely rational, but Penelope had never proved to do things that were rational before. And she was far too protective to not do anything. 

JJ’s phone showed up at the police department they were working from. So did Emily and Spencers. Hotch was somewhere across town. Rossi was still at the bar, and Derek was at the nearby Emergency Room. 

By the time she had gotten to Y/N, she knew something was wrong. 

One of them was hurt. 

*

When she finally got the phone call, she had already pulled some of her hair out, stalked the news, tried to hack into the hospital's patient list- which she couldn't because not all of it was digital -and bitten off almost all of her nails. 

JJ had told her, just like JJ always did, informing all of them the best she could. 

And they didn't know enough. 

Penelope had no idea how her best friend was, and even though she’d asked over and over, what had happened, JJ didn't have any answers for her. 

It was a stupid situation. 

Penelope hoped she wasn't hurt. That the bullet hadn't gotten anywhere near anything important, that she would live just as Penelope had years ago. 

If she had lived, so could Y/N. 

She was young and strong and she had been wearing a vest, and there was nothing wrong with her, if they didn't know anything it was good. It was good that no one had told them anything. 

That meant she wasn't dead yet. 

And that's all Penelope had to hold onto. 

She called her Neptune. Because she was unreachable. 

She would be fine. 

*

Her eyes. They looked so scared. Derek was so scared. 

She would be fine. Rossi knew. 

JJ didn't know how this could have happened. 

He wouldn't think of it. He was working. 

Emily knew better than anyone else. 

38,000 people in America die of gunshot wounds each year. 

An average of 100 a day. 

She called her Neptune. 

She was the youngest out of all of them. 

She had to be okay. 

*

my masterlist here.