#spock refuses to tell him the compound to wash it off

[ifdragonscouldtalk]

for the prompt: spones (or spirk) where McCoy is turned into a dog, and Spock has to deal with this gigantic canine following him around the ship. idk if he knows that it's McCoy, but I thought this would be a cute prompt haha

Found the furry! Get 'em lads! /j

I know you wanted him to be a big dog, but I have a soft spot in my heart for small dogs, so I hope you still like this.

Spock resisted the very Human urge to pinch the bridge of his nose as if warding off a headache, a habit formed from seeing Jim and Leonard perform the same one too many times.

“How?” he demanded lowly, voice flat as he started down at the miniature poodle on the transporter pad. It was a deep chocolate color with tight, wiry curls and nearly invisible silver glimmering through the coat, and it couldn’t have weighed much more than four kilograms -- probably closer to three.

“Er,” was Scott’s eloquent reply, and it told him all he needed to know. The poodle continued to glare up at him -- and it was clearly a glare, although he hadn’t known before now that Terran canines possessed the muscles to manipulate their eyebrows in such a way.

“Well,” Jim said, rubbing his hands together, and Spock already knew what he was going to say, illogical as it was, because he knew the man that well.

“No.”

“Spock,” Jim whined.

“No, Captain. I am not fit to care for... him.” He caught himself from saying ‘it’, knowing Leonard would remember and make hell for him once he was back to normal for it.

“Spock,” Jim said again, sighing.

“Captain,” he replied, and pretended it wasn’t illogical and petulant.

“He’s your boyfriend.”

“I am not, what do you Humans say? A ‘dog person’.” And he wasn’t. Spock had never seen the appeal in the creatures. Shelats were far more reliable, clever, and clean, and made much better pets. Even Terran felines were preferable. He had nothing against dogs, but he had little desire to care for one, and even less so when it was apparently his current mate.

Leonard raised slightly on his haunches and growled. Spock raised an eyebrow back.

“It’s just until we figure this out,” Jim reasoned. “All you have to do is feed him and make sure he doesn’t get lost or stuck behind a door or something.”

“You are fully capable of those things yourself, Captain.”

Leonard growled at him again, louder, his scowl intensifying as he rose onto all fours, tail up in defensive position. Spock frowned at him.

“Look, I could make this an order, but I think it’s pretty clear Bones wants to go with you anyway.” Jim paused, then chuckled. “Ha, Bones. ‘Cause dogs like bones.” Leonard barked at Jim angrily, startling him into taking a step back before he chuckled in amusement. “Harsh crowd.”

“I’ll be right on this, sir,” Scott piped up, and Spock imagined if he was capable of headaches, life aboard the Enterprise would be a constant one. He almost understood what Leonard meant when he complained so much now. “We’ll have ‘im sorted out in no time.”

“In the meantime...” Jim said expectantly, trailing off. Spock did not sigh.

“I will not carry you,” he told Leonard, and got a glare and another soft growl in return. “Will you use a litter pan?”

It was illogical to think Leonard looked sour at the idea. Canines did not have that much range of expression. Still, he could imagine the rant Leonard was no doubt drafting in his mind, despite the tip of his head that looked very much like a nod.

“Very well,” he said, and did not sigh again. “If you’ll excuse us, Captain.”

“You’re very excused,” Jim replied, clearly amused, and Spock resolved then that once Leonard was back to normal, he would not interfere with whatever punishment he planned for their insufferable captain.