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zepskies · 2 years ago

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Never Say Goodbye - Epilogue

Pairing: Dean W. x Female Reader

Summary: The first time you and Dean sensed each other’s thoughts and feelings, you were just kids. It would take years to realize that you both were bonded for life, and even longer to finally meet. [Soulmate AU] (Rated M for eventual scenes – 18+)

AN: Song inspo for this chapter is “Sweet Time” by REO Speedwagon!

Word Count: 2,200 Warnings: Fluff overload!

Epilogue

Seven months later…

Dean settled his hands on your waist as he sidled up behind you in the kitchen, this time in the apartment you shared with him.

You jolted a bit in surprise, but your spine still tingled pleasantly when he enveloped you from behind.

You had gotten ready so quickly this morning that you hadn’t even greeted him yet. He was reminding you of it now as he pressed a kiss behind your ear.

“Gooood morning, Vietnam!” he joked.

He could call you and Sam nerds all he wanted, but Dean loved a classic movie reference.

You smiled and grabbed one of his hands.

“Hey, baby. How do I look on my first day as Senior Library Curator?” You turned and showcased what you were wearing.

Dean took in your long black pencil skirt, dark red blouse, and your “I mean serious business” heels with a low whistle, and he twirled you by the hand for effect. Dean himself was already dressed in his work uniform.

“I always like you in red,” he said, briefly focusing on the hint of cleavage, then down the curve of your waist before his gaze fell to your heels. His grin deepened. “I’ma need you to keep those on tonight.”

You laughed and grabbed onto his arms. “I will cook for you in nothing but these heels, but I just need you to do one thing for me.”

Dean’s brows raised as his grin edged into a suspicious smirk.

“I’m listening,” he said.

“I need someone to come pick out the flowers with me this weekend,” you said. “And the plates at the dinnerware rental place.”

Dean tipped his head back and groaned. That was so not “just one thing.”

You rubbed his arms.

“Please?” you asked. “I’ve already got the silverware picked out. I just need some help deciding on a few things.”

“I’m really not the one you want to take. I’m good with anything, seriously.”

You pouted at him. “You can’t be serious. You really don’t have any opinion on this stuff? This is our wedding, Dean.”

He gave you a measured look.

“Listen,” he said. “I don’t care if you want a Mariachi band with little sombreros on every drink. I just wanna get married.”

You laughed, but the sentiment behind his words made you smile. Your hands slid up to his shoulders as he pulled you in closer. A new silver ring, this time with a small shining stone, glinted on your left hand.

One of the few things Bobby had saved of Aunt Karen’s had been her wedding bands. He’d seen no better use for her engagement ring than giving it to his almost-son, for his almost-daughter. Dean was grateful, and you were honored to wear it.

“Okay, how about this,” you said. “I’ll ask Ellen and Jo to come with me to pick the flowers and the plates. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is creating a music playlist for the DJ.”

Dean perked up at that. Since the Roadhouse burned down, Ellen and Jo had moved up to Sioux Falls. Last he’d heard (yesterday, from you), Ellen had all but moved in with Bobby.

“But no ACDC,” you warned him. “And I’ll be approving the list when you’re done.”

Now it was his turn to pout. “Killjoy.”

At the puppy-dog downturn of his eyes, you rolled yours. You knew he was playing you, but somehow you were always weak for it.

You made a sound of exasperation.

“Okay, fine. One ACDC song.”

Dean flashed you a grin. “That’s why you’re my favorite.”

“Mhmm.”

“And, just so I know, are we still on for the naked cooking?” he asked.

You scoffed.

“Oh, no. That’s for men who obey me. You, sir, just welched out of every request I made.” You emphasized this with a finger pressing into his chest. Dean chuckled.

“Touché,” he said. “Okay, here’s what I can do for you. I will…take you out for dinner on Friday.”

You crossed your arms, waiting expectantly. Knowing he hadn’t hooked you yet, he amended.

“Tomorrow?” he said. “We’ll get sushi. Come on, we never get sushi.”

Mostly because Dean didn’t trust raw fish. But if he must, he could get some fried breaded shrimp if it made you happy. Plus, there were all those dipping sauces.

Dean liked dipping sauces.

“Dancing,” you said. “Tonight. Sushi after. Tomorrow, I promise I’ll cook for you…with the heels, and very little but the heels.”

Dean thought about it with an undecided hum. He wasn’t working late tonight, so he supposed he could go out. He almost grimaced at “dancing,” but you were gentle in pushing him past his comfort zone with stuff like this (and teaching him how to dance, slowly but surely).

Still, it was worth it to see you get all dressed up. Naked cooking was also very worth it.

“All right, I think I can make that work,” he said.

You smiled brightly, and he realized it was already worth it.

“Okay, I just have a few minutes before I need to get out of here,” you said, taking a breath.

You were a bit nervous about your first day in your new position. You had just been promoted after almost a year. While you were comfortable in your job at the museum, overseeing the rare books library, you’d never been a manager before. You would now have two new hires under you, and it was your responsibility to train them as well.

Dean felt your nervousness. He rubbed your back. “Hey. You’re gonna be great, baby. You know what you’re doing.”

With a grateful look, you braced your hands on his chest and smoothed out his black Sioux Falls PD uniform. He filled it out well.

“Gotten used to having a real uniform yet?” you asked. “Hope my dad’s not driving you too crazy.”

Dean grinned. “Nah. I’ll admit, he kicked my ass a bit in the beginning, but he’s a lot like Bobby. Soft in the middle.”

In fact, Jack was the one who’d recommended that Dean try out the police academy to begin with.

“You’ve got the instincts,” Jack had told him. It was their first time sharing a beer, about a month after Dean returned to South Dakota permanently. He’d been struggling to find a job that would fit him (and his lack of professional experience).

“What you lack in discipline now, you’ll make up for in knowin’ how to read people,” said Jack. “Being solid under pressure. Good at running down leads. And who knows. Maybe you’ll make detective one day.”

Dean smiled at the idea, but he still cocked his head uncertainly.

“I don’t know. I’m not exactly used to grabbing a warrant before I pick a lock, ya know?”

“Well, I know this.” Jack pointed at him. “You’re a shark, Dean. Sharks can’t stay still, they’ve gotta keep swimming.”

“Okay, meaning?”

“Doing construction, working on cars, fixing people’s houses…after a lifetime of being under fire, are you really gonna be content doing any of those?” Jack asked.

Dean was grateful for that conversation. While there were things he missed about his old life, he was able to build a new one. And he didn’t have to hang up his gun to do it.

Dean let go of you so he could twirl his keys around his finger and clip them to his belt in one smooth motion. “Just you wait. I’ll be runnin’ this town in no time.”

“That’s a scary thought.” You laughed. “Oh hey, has Sam called you? He’s supposed to tell me if he’s bringing a plus one to the wedding.”

Dean smiled, despite a rueful twinge. Sam was halfway through his first year in law school—over in New York. He came home for the weekend whenever he could, but if Dean was honest, it was hard letting Sam run back to school.

What made it easier was that Dean wasn’t alone this time. He had you. You were also understanding, and you insisted that Sam stay here at the apartment whenever he came home.

“Yeah, he was gonna tell you in person this weekend, but…he found her,” Dean said.

You gasped. “No, he did?”

“Yeah, he really found his soulmate. On the subway of all places.”

You laughed. “That must’ve been a fun ride.”

You could only imagine the chaos of starting to hear your soulmate’s thoughts in a New York City subway. You were so happy for Sam.

You clapped your hands.

“Oh, I’m so excited to meet her! This is going to be so awesome! Is he bringing her this weekend? What’s her name? Is she going to school too?”

Dean laughed and calmed down your onslaught of questions. That, at least, hadn’t changed.

“Okay, come on. You’re going to be late for work,” he reminded you. “Your first day as head boss lady of dusty books.”

“Excuse me. Rare dusty books,” you corrected with a playful slap to his chest. “But this is too important! Ugh, I’m calling him right now.”

“No, you don’t. He’s in class, and now we both need to get to work. Come on, get those perky buns movin’.”

He ushered you out by lightly spanking your butt. You sighed, but you were still smiling as you grabbed your purse and let him guide you out the front door. You lived on the first floor, so it was a quick walk to where both your cars were parked: the sleek black Impala and a blue Camaro, side by side.

Before you forgot, you reached out and grabbed Dean by the collar.

“All right, Officer. Have a good day today,” you said.

Dean smirked and tucked a strand of your hair, freed from your clip, behind your ear.

“See ya, beautiful. Don’t dust off any suspicious lamps.”

“I thought you said genies weren’t like that in real life,” you quipped. You leaned up on your toes, and he met you there with a kiss that was sweet at first, but then it lingered and deepened. He held you to him close.

These were the small kinds of moments that he liked to savor with you. Because it reminded him of a time when he never thought he would have this—a life outside of hunting. A life after hunting.

It wasn’t perfect, but it was a real life with you, where Sam was still an important part of it.

“I love you. You know that?” said Dean.

And he meant that, deep in his bones.

When he gave you that ring a few months ago, it finally hit him that what he felt wasn’t just part of the “cosmic bond,” as you’d once called it. The two of you had scraped and fought hard to find each other, and even harder to stay with each other.

And he hadn’t protected you just because he felt responsible for your safety. He’d done it because the idea of losing you had scared him worse than dying himself.

So when you smiled and kissed him again, Dean breathed in your perfume and reminded himself that those darker days were in the past. Your airy laugh reminded him.

“Yeah, I do know,” you replied with a wink. “I’ll see you later.”

He tugged you back by the hand. “Uh, uh. If I say it, you gotta say it.”

“Oooh, I see. My bad,” you nodded. You took his hand—the one that wore his mother’s ring—and you kissed his knuckles. “I love you. I love you, and I love you. Be safe out there.”

He grinned and finally released you. You got in your car and watched him leaning against Baby with his arms crossed and his sunglasses on. In his police uniform, he looked like a scene out of Bad Boys.

You beeped the horn at him twice before you pulled out of the driveway. Dean watched you go with a smirk. When he realized he was pushing it for time himself, he climbed into the Impala. He stroked the leather steering wheel.

What do you know, Baby. We’re respectable.

Jack was definitely going to ride his ass for being late. Today, that was all right.

Dean never thought this would be his life, but he had a feeling that his dad would be proud.

He would be, he heard you say in his mind, through the soul bond. He is.

Dean smiled.

Focus on the road, he reminded you. He sensed the equivalent of you rolling your eyes. But a few minutes later, he heard you jamming out to REO Speedwagon. Another rock wannabe, in his opinion. Only you would listen to that crap.

Baby, we can take our own sweet tiiiime. And spend it when we want to ‘cause it’s yours and miiiine, you sang, and not always on key.

Let our love come easy and we fiiiind…~

Dean shook his head, despite a fond smirk.

…Well, he thought, maybe this one wasn’t that bad.

We can make it. And we’ll take our own sweet time.

AN: *sniffs* Who's peeling onions?

But seriously, thank you so much to all of you who read and enjoyed this story! It's been one of my favorites to write in a long time.

And I will say, if I do get requests, I will return to this AU and dabble some more. I love early seasons Sam and Dean, and this world is a special one to me!

Read the Sequel:

Ready for some bonus chapters? Here's a three-part sequel:

Summary: You and Dean are just weeks away from getting married, but when you find a questionable book at work, it spirals into one last hunt for you all.

Keep Reading: Bonus Track #1

Series Masterlist

Dean Winchester Masterlist

Main Masterlist

@curlycarley @buckywenal24 @jamerlynn @iprobablyshipit91 @globetrotter28 @deamus-liv @irgendwas122 @deans-spinster-witch @dogbarkbark4445 @my-proof-is-you @vera0124 @deans-baby-momma @lacilou @samanddeaninatrenchcoat @theonlymaninthesky @spnexploration @itzabbyxx @cevans-winchester @imagineteller1 @icequeen1371 @tiredqueen73 @bitchwitch1981 @abbigaleelizabeth @ohgodthebogisback @where-the-river-bends @loveprof6 @shadowcrowsworld @thespnlover @this-is-me19 @stevenknightmarc @leigh70 @pallographsunspot @syrma-sensei @brain-has-left @jassackles @hobby27 @ashbatz @zaratahir @lokisnumber1whore @saranghaey @jori21 @lillyrob @adoringanakin @agirlwithdemonblood @mimaria420

#spn #supernatural #spn season 2 #dean x reader #dean x you #dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x you #dean winchester x female reader #dean winchester x soulmate!reader #dean x female reader #spn fanfic #soulmate au #sam winchester #bobby singer #ellen harvelle #fluff #never say goodbye finale #zepskies writes

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antigonewinchester · 1 year ago

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15x20

And we come to it... The End of Supernatural.

But we’ve got a double feature this time: because I watched 1x20 too. With 15x20 calling back to that ep so specifically, I thought I’d see what the finale looked like in its context.

There’s a lot of talk of how the early vs. later seasons differ visually in terms of lighting, cinematography, etc., but I was also struck in their difference in tone. There’s a sincerity to 1x20, not just in what’s happening but in how the writing takes itself & the situation seriously, while 15x20 is much lighter and humorous, verging into bathos at points. It’s exactly the same as the contemporary MCU/Disney blockbuster humor: never letting the tension build for too long and breaking it was jokes. Maybe I’m just a bit too earnest but this kind of humor rings really hollow to me. It often feels self-defensive, like the writer(s) are hyper aware of their audience & its reaction and so they make fun of themselves before the audience can make fun of them.

I’d forgotten The Twilight Zone reference early in 1x20; love that. All of the John - Sam - Dean family drama is so compelling -- Sam still hotheaded & angry, John caring but not willing to give up his authority, Dean the peacemaker in the middle of it all. (The rest under a cut because it got long.)

DEAN: What happens if you die? Dad, what happens if you die, and we coulda done something about it? You know I been thinking. I ...think maybe Sammy's right about this one. We should do this together. [SAM nods.] DEAN: We're stronger as a family, Dad. We just are. You know it. JOHN: We're running out of time. You do your job and you get out of the area. That's an order.

Kripke’s idea of ‘family as everything’ is the foundation of this ep. It’s also obviously about healing the original family estrangement in Sam leaving and John rejecting him for it--John has to relearn how to “believe” in family again, which first starts to happen when Sam & Dean rush into save him, and then he saves Sam, using a bullet from the Colt to kill Luther holding Sam hostage, even though it means one less chance to get the YED. If, as SW analyzed, Dean takes on John’s narrative role in S4/5 with Sam, then Dean is in this narrative position thru the entire rest of the show. For ex, in Dabb’s seasons, so much of the writing focuses on Dean not “believing” in or resenting/rejecting family, which drives almost all the emotional conflict. And then cue Dean’s heartfelt deathbed speech in 15x20 about how much he loves Sam & thinks Sam is such an amazing guy, right? The ultimate “I believe in family & love you so much” speech. Dean’s speech even parallels what Sam’s son tell him as he’s dying, so framing Dean in a parental role to the end: (”SAM No. / DEAN (softly pleading): Look at me. Look at me. I need... I need... I need you to tell me that it's okay. I need you to tell me... Tell me it's okay. / SAM (through tears) Dean... it's okay. You can go now.” versus “DEAN II: Dad. It's okay. You can go now.”)

With the Colt, what stood out on this watch was how even though it’s a weapon that can “kill anything,” it’s not divine or blessed or anything like that; it was just a gun made by Samuel Colt for ordinary human hunters. Given how fantastical the show gets by the end, the Colt is grounded in a satisfying way. In order to fight creatures stronger than they are, people will make a tool that’ll allow them to overcome all that, just through sheer human ingenuity & stubbornness.

Jenny is the obvious throughline between these two eps, but there’s also John being integral to both (returning in 1x20, Sam & Dean figuring out the case thru his journal in 15x20) and both eps dealing with vampires. In 15x20, the situation is clearly meant to be a mirror reflection of Sam and Dean’s family tragedy: vampires invade a house, kill the father instead of the mother (but leaving her traumatized and unable to speak, literally & metaphorically) and steal the 2 kids away, but ending more happily with Sam & Dean saving the kids. There’s also again shades of sexual violence against children, in the vampires not just killing the kids but keeping them alive for years, both to feed and feed on them. If it’s more alluded to in 15x20, then it’s literal in 1x20, with vampires intertwined with sexual violence all over the ep: Kate & Luther making out / getting ready to have sex while Jenny watches, with Kate then turning Jenny by assaulting her with a kiss (complete w/ incestuous undertones in Luther then saying “Welcome home”); John looming over Kate and Luther like a creepy stalker when they all invade the vampires’s nest; Dean playing bait and drawing the vamps out, with Kate assaulting Dean very similarly to how she did Jenny. The ‘Dean playing bait’ scene was also interesting in that Dean is very much vulnerable (what if Kate had just gone for his neck?) while the masculine violence of the Winchesters is highlighted as well... John & Sam shooting Kate and the other vamp, John coming in with “sweetheart” to Kate when he confronts her, Dean taking Kate off in a bridal carry, a parody of the real thing. They’re both the hunted and hunters.

SAM (crying) Then don't leave me. Don't leave me. I can't do this alone. DEAN Yes, you can. SAM Well, I don't want to. DEAN Hey. I'm not leaving you. I'm gonna be with you... [DEAN is crying as he places his fist over SAM’S heart.] Right here... every day. ... DEAN Goodbye, Sam. Goodbye.

Telling that it was Jackles and Jarpad who added in those callbacks to Sam & Dean’s dialogue in the pilot, not Dabb. Good for them, tho.

I’m surprised I’ve never seen a comparison made between Dean’s death and Jack’s departure in 15x19! If Jack is a Christ figure, then Dean is a messiah figure, and those figures very often die; both Dean and Jack gave up a chance at a normal life to save the world & protect the people they love, Dean as a hunter & Jack as God; they both do the “I’ll still be with you, in your heart” gesture; it ends with both Jack and Dean saying goodbye, and they both then go onto to ascend to Heaven or a heavenly place. People talk about how Jack’s ending is messed up because he’s just a kid with too much responsibility put on his head, but the show idealizes / does the same thing with Dean, in how much it valorizes Dean’s protection of Sam. I think back to Jarpad’s quote talking about the finale that got people in a huff (“It was a success story — it was Dean’s success story,” Padalecki reflects on the “Supernatural” series finale. “This guy gave his life for years and years and years and ultimately gave his life to have his No. 1 on the planet live as normal a life as possible.”) but like? Doesn’t this attitude seem exactly how the show viewed Sam & Dean at this point?

I’ve also seen people talk pretty cynically about Dean’s death and as much as I’m not a fan of Dean dying I also just cannot read it as cynically as some people do. Dean didn’t die because he “couldn’t live a normal life,” he died because the show set up the “Dean = chooses the hunting life, Sam = wants a normal life” framing back in S12, Dabb’s first season, which culminates here in Dabb’s last, with Dean dying on a hunt after saving 2 kids from something horrible, and Sam going on to live without Dean and having a ‘normal’ life, wife, a son, even if he deep down he longs to be with Dean again. If Dean most represents “the family” in the narrative, then of course he couldn’t get a wife and kid like Sam could; that would be Dean choosing to have another family over Sam, and that wouldn’t work with Dean’s narrative role. In S15 too, Dean’s death also fits thematically with the emphasis within the last season on making sacrifices and dying for what you love and the people you saved living on after that sacrifice. Ketch, Rowena, Cas, Jack (sort of), Dean, to name some major ones. There’s also that Sam dying & Dean living on would be a repeat of Swan Song, so I can see why they would’ve wanted to avoid that plot beat because they’d already done it once. If anything, I’d say Dean’s death echoes his one in 3x16: telling Sam to carry on without him, Sam being unable to prevent his death, but this time instead of going to Hell, Dean ends up in Heaven. And Dean gets narratively rewarded with the perfect, best Heaven ever! The one that is stated he deserves!! I just don’t see how that translates into the writers seeing Dean as not normal or having something wrong with him?

OKAY last few things: I actually like the regular “Carry On Wayward Son” and then the cover version, what can I say. Despite ppl saying Dean spent however many odd decades in Heaven waiting for Sam, it’s clearly implied he only waited a short time in Bobby saying “Time up here, it's... it's different,” which is calling back to Hell’s time dilation, Dean’s 40′s years, and his now only spending a few minutes separate from Sam in comparison. And while I 100% understand not liking the finale, it’s kind of fascinating to me that the finale basically framed it as a final, fantastic Happy Ending for Sam & Dean, they are at peace for all eternity, isn’t that so nice, and parts of the fandom somehow read it as a tragic or unhappy ending. It’s just... so clearly not. It is if you wanted to the story to end another way, but c’mon, the story wasn’t going to end another way. It ended as it started, the Epic Love Story of Sam & Dean.

#i did it. finally!!#spn rewatch #season 15 #sam & dean #sam #dean #it's also HILARIOUS to me that my reaction to game of thrones S8 and spn S15 were basically the same #in that 1) they are not as bad as the audience reaction suggested and 2) fit w/ the ideas & themes established in the last seasons #i understand not liking them. but they weren't random or out of nowhere or betraying the story

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