#spn samily

[especially-obsessed]

#icanteven

pt. 3

#icanteven - The Neighbourhood 

"I can't even, I can't even believe what you did to me You can't even, you can't even say I'm overreacting I can't even, can't even hear your side Shame on me, you fooled me twice"

Summary: series; Sam cheats on you.

Pairing: Sam Winchester x reader, Dean Winchester x reader

Warnings: descriptions of depression, guilt, anger, infidelity, fluff

Word count: 2.3k

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

“Dean?” You spoke clearly into the phone. 

“Who’s this?” he responded gruffly, not recognizing your new number. You hesitated, contemplating hanging up altogether. Before you can respond, you hear Dean suck in a jagged breath. “y/n?” he says, barely above a whisper. You let out a sigh of relief, not having to explain who you were to someone you had known so well. 

“Hi,” you replied awkwardly. You can hear Dean let out his own sigh of relief. “Dean, I-”

“Where the hell have you been?” he asks, cutting you off. Straight to the point. Oh-kay.

“That’s not important. But I’m in Kansas right now. About an hour from the bunker. Meet me at the Moondance Diner on 48th Street. 12:30.” you can’t help but bite your lip, waiting for his response. 

“Okay, sweetheart, we’re on-”

“Just you,” you say, your heart lurching at the mention of him showing up with someone else. With him. Dean was silent, choosing his next words carefully. You wondered who else was in the room with him, causing his hesitation. 

“Okay, I’m on my way.” The line disconnected. 

You sat alone in your ‘borrowed’ car, parked somewhere off the side of the road by a cornfield. You were so close to home that you knew these roads like the back of your hand. You could drive to the bunker with your eyes closed from this point. Which also meant that it was not going to take Dean an hour to get to the diner. You put the car in gear and pulled back onto the road. There was no way to tell how Dean was going to react to seeing you. You flipped on the radio to distract yourself from the thought, ignoring the pit that was slowly growing in your stomach. 

“It was her, wasn’t it,” Sam said, rounding the corner of the library. He had been in the hallway when Dean answered his phone. His intuition told him not to walk in just yet. Dean stared at Sam, choosing whether or not to lie to him. He knew he couldn’t get away with it. 

“Yes,” he said dryly. He shrugged on his jacket and made his way to the staircase. 

“I’m coming,” Sam said, grabbing his own jacket off of the table. Dean stopped abruptly, swiveling on Sam, who had quickly closed the distance between them. His boots whimpering against the concrete floor at the sudden change in pace. 

“The hell if you are,” he said. He didn’t miss the hurt in Sam’s eyes at his reaction. “The last thing we need is for her to see you and bolt again. The whole reason she left in the first place was because of you,” he let the last word out with a bite. “So no, you are not coming with me. Let me handle this,” Dean finished, leaving no room for Sam to respond as he continued up the staircase. 

Sam was frozen in place, his eyes glossing over. The bunker door creaked as Dean opened it, and Sam nearly jumped out of his skin as it was slammed shut. Sam set his jaw and took in a deep breath, not knowing what to do with himself.

You chose a table in the very back of the diner by a window. You wanted to see when Dean pulled up in that beautiful car of his. It had been 35 minutes since you called him. And you were actually excited to see him, the feeling taking over your anxiousness. 

The car’s engine alerted you to his arrival before you even looked out the window to see him. You grinned to yourself, knowing who the next bell jingle would be signifying. Sure enough, you watched as Dean glided into the diner, instantly scanning and searching for your face. You pushed back your chair and made eye contact with him. He wasted no time in walking to you and embracing you. You breathed him in deeply, missing every single thing about him. Dean let out a forced chuckle. 

“Hi, sweetheart,” he mumbled into your hair. He let you go and held you at arm's length, scanning over your body, checking for any major injuries. 

“I’m okay, Dean,” you said, wriggling free of his grasp on you and sitting down at the table.

He nodded and sat down across from you. Your waitress showed up with water for both of you, but Dean paid her no attention. He was waiting for her to leave. He was waiting for you to say something. She almost looked disappointed at his neglect. When she finally left, you spoke first. 

“Dean, I’m so sorry,” you started shakily. You could already feel tears pricking at your waterline.

“Where have you been?” He asked you again, more questions lingering behind his eyes. 

“Around,” you state simply. Dean scoffed, opening his mouth to say something when the waitress walked back to your table. She sets down two cheeseburgers with fries and extra onions on the side of Dean’s. He smiled half heartedly at the gesture. 

“You’ve been hiding from us, from me,” he said, pushing his burger to the side. Not a good sign. “It was like we were always two steps behind you. You deliberately picked places we wouldn’t have checked, used aliases that you’ve never had before. You ditched your phone. You went through all of that trouble to just be, what, around.” He scoffed, shaking his head. He was hurt; you could see it plain as day. Running with the Winchester boys as long as you have, you’ve picked up on their tells. Especially Dean’s. His closed-off expressions and backhanded retorts. He wasn’t mad, he was upset. 

“I was running from Sam, okay? I knew you would try to find me, and he would do anything possible to try and talk to me. I just couldn’t face him, Dean. Not after what happened that night-” You cut yourself off, feeling your throat start to close just at the thought. You quickly picked up a fry to try and hide your own pain. 

But Dean knew you just as well.

He wasn’t here to justify his brothers' actions. Far from it. He just wanted to see you. To make sure that you were okay. To bring you back home. 

“y/n, please, you don’t need to keep running,” he said to you. You refused to look up, feelings of guilt and despair circling around in your head as you picked at your burger bun. Dean reached across the table and grabbed your hand, forcing you to look at him. “Stop running. Come back to the bunker with me. Come home,” he pleaded. You could feel the sincerity in his voice. 

“You know I can’t do that. Not while Sam is still there,” you said flatly, pulling your hand free of his. You chuckled, though it was void of anything funny. “And it’s not like you would kick Sam out for me. Not that I would ever ask you to.” You watched as Dean’s shield went back up, trying to mask the pain from his face. He sat back and looked out the window at the diner parking lot, at a loss for words. He knew you were right. He could never choose between you and Sam, and you would never ask him to do so. 

“Dean, I just wanted to meet up with you and tell you that I’m okay. And that I miss you. I miss the bunker, I miss Cass,” you pulled out your phone and typed in Dean’s number, knowing it by heart now. You sent him a text message, saying your first name only. “I just sent you my new phone number. I’ll still be around. We can still talk,” you attempted to reassure him. He looked back at you, his shield still up but faltering. 

“I didn’t save your contact earlier. Figured you used a burner,” he said dryly. You gave him an unimpressed look, like a teenager who was just told their outfit didn’t match.

“Dean, stop,” you said, starting to get upset at his tone toward you. No matter what you had gone through, Dean never spoke to you this way. You clenched your fists, digging your fingernails into your palms, feeling your anger starting to bubble up inside of you. 

“So what, this will be the last time that I see you? I just get your new phone number and then you’re gone?” he continued. Too far. 

“Damnit, Dean, I said stop!” you raised your voice at him, slamming a fist down on the diner table. Breathing deeply, you glanced at the table across from you. The couple quickly looked away, embarrassed to have been caught staring. 

“Are you kidding me?” you asked in a hushed voice. “You honestly think I could go on with my life, never seeing you again?” you asked, surprised by his accusation. Surprised by your own outburst. “No, no, I’m just moving on. I’ll still be hunting, moving around the country again, like before I met you guys.” you fiddled with your fingers, not knowing what else to say. This wasn’t going exactly as you had expected it to. Dean was far more hurt than you had anticipated. “You can always call me Dean. You know, if you needed me, I’d be there in a heartbeat. I just can’t go home.”

You watched Dean’s face as he processed what you had just said. He knew you were hurting. He just always thought that you’d be coming back home one day. There was no use in him pushing you any farther. You had made up your mind, and you weren’t going to budge. He knew you well enough not to push you much more. He cleared his throat and pulled his burger back in front of him. He picked it up with both hands and looked at you over the top of the bun.

“So, where are you headed to next? I hear Florida’s nice this time of year,” he says, taking a bite from his burger. You smiled and picked up another fry, feeling a sense of normalcy sink back in. 

The two of you had been talking for a few hours, discussing everything from music to the restaurant you still wanted to try across the country. You spent time reminiscing about old hunts and people that you had met along the way. Dean asked if you needed any of your things from the bunker, and you shook your head. 

“Clean slate. I traveled with everything that was super important to me. Everything else either belongs in the bunker, with you guys, or in the garbage,” you said, taking another bit of pie. Dean nodded, almost finished with his own. You pushed your plate forward and smiled at Dean. 

“I need to take off,” you said, saying the words that you were both dreading. Dean shook his head again and sat still for a few seconds. He cleared his throat and set down his fork, his chair scraping against the floor as he stood. You mimicked his actions and stood as well. Before you could say anything else, Dean pulled you into a tight hug, nearly knocking the wind out of you. You hugged him back just as tight, though. Everyone else in the diner probably thought one of you was dying. You’d given them quite a show, after all. Dean was the first to let go, pulling out his wallet.

“I’ll walk out with you,” he said, pulling out cash from his wallet. You gave him a funny look. 

“Don’t you dare leave leftovers to that pie, mister,” you said sternly. You smiled at him, feeling tears start to well up. “Plus, I know you want to finish it…and mine.” Dean let out a gentle laugh. 

The reality of it was that if Dean walked out with you, your chances of going your separate ways would start to dwindle. There was a very real possibility that he could talk you into coming back to the bunker, even with as stubborn as you were about the issue. 

“Alright, alright. Don’t be a stranger now, you hear?”

“I know where to find you,” you said, winking at him. 

“Take care of yourself, kid,” he said, barely above a whisper. You smiled before walking away, unable to look at him any longer. You made a point to stop at the front counter before leaving, slipping your waitress money to cover the bill and a little extra. You looked back at Dean as she was finishing the order. He had sat back down at the table and already had his fork in hand, pulling your plate towards him. 

“Here you go, miss,” the waitress interrupted your thoughts. “Have a nice day,” she said with a bright smile, handing you back your change. 

“We’re all set, thank you,” you said politely before turning and heading out the door. You burst through the diner door and got in your car as quickly as possible, feeling your lungs tightening in your chest. Tears had started streaming down your face, but you refused to make a sound. You started your car and pulled out of the parking lot, checking your rearview mirror as you left. Dean had parked the Impala next to your car unknowingly, and it disappeared as you rounded a corner, leaving everything behind yet again. 

“I'm all set for the check whenever you get a chance, sweetheart,” Dean said, finishing off the last bits of your leftover pie. He glanced up at the waitress, now fully appreciating her large bust. He was too focused on you earlier to have even noticed. Wow. 

“The bill’s been taken care of,” the waitress replied sweetly. She set down a to-go box and receipt in front of Dean and wished him a nice day. Dean started to shake his head, thinking she had brought the order to the wrong table.

“I didn’t-” he started, but she was already across the diner, topping off a customer’s coffee. Dean stared at the receipt in front of him, analyzing the faded print on the receipt.  

[Paid for in cash. To-go order added: chicken caesar salad with extra dressing on the side] 

Sam’s favorite.

Series Masterlist

A/N: Sorry this is such a late post. Enjoy <3

Likes, reblogs, and follows are never expected but greatly appreciated! These let me know I should keep on doing what I’m doing! (:

Tag List: @deviltion @bollzinurmouth @jjkluvcloudsworld @all444amphitrite @fleumurrr @mostlymarvelgirl @barnes70stark @achillesthebambino @i-love-ptv @pressedwater @therealabadoodle @sarahsobsession @fyegall @mrsmckinnon @shadydelusionalvoid @mb1ndzus @crooked-haven

[almaasi]

reaction post typed while watching SPN 15x08 “Our Father, Who Aren’t in Heaven”

THEY JUST. SENT DEAN AND CAS. TO PICK SYMBOLIC “BINDING” FLOWERS ???

--

06:16pm

probably gonna have to stop in 1 minute for dinner but let’s see what’s happening this week in Mr. Taco/Hotdog Pines For Angel But Isn’t Sure If God Commanded It

-

06:18

OH YEAH ADAM

forgot about him

-

06:19

hmm “lucky elephant” casino/bar

1. pink elephants  = drunk baby dumbo trippin balls

2. kinda looks like a dick

-

06:23

the hell is wrong with sam’s face?? he’s looked SO tense and uncomfortable these last episodes

-

06:24

sam eating salad and eileen eating a burger

given how much food symbolises in this show......i...... kinda wanna say that it means sam sees eileen as a sibling??????? given burgers are bro dean and cas’ thing

either that or she’s one of the family, but then what does it mean about sam’s salad being the odd one out?

....i typed samily there

ha

anyway i wonder if, given how eileen/sam parallels dean/cas, it’s gonna become a thing like “hey eileen i see you as a sibling” vs. dean and cas “cas i love you like a brother” / “BUT DEAN I LOVE YOU IN THE ROMANTIC WAY”

-

06:27

does dean not know what “achilles heel” means

-

06:28

why is there porn music playing as cas knocks on a door

is dean gonna be naked on the other side

are they playing babysitter and affronted neighbour housebreaker

.....just saying okay that comedy sting was weirdly placed

-

06:30

i love that cas is like straight-up Still Here

he was like I’M LEAVING FOREVER and then dean’s like “hey i know i said you ruin everything but uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”

wish we could’ve had that as an actual scene though

-

06:37

dean: but cas if u wanna stay here, why don’t you stay here

RUDE

-

FUCK I HATE THE KNIFE HAND THING

-

they almost........ touch hand.........

/14 blush emojis

cas uses last of power to make dean feel okie dokie

IS HE GONNA FALL FOR DEAN AGAIN

-

06:40

welp dinnertime back laterrr

_

07:50pm

watched the end of “the prince of egypt” and my father (an atheist) was very insistent on proving it factually incorrect while I JUST WANNA WATCH THE ANIMATED MOVIE DUDE

-

hokay where were we

oh yeah cas was trying really hard not to hold dean’s hand

-

07:54

team free will enter hell and are attacked by three lady demons

for some reason i’m thinking of cerberus, the three-headed dog who guards the gates of hell

-

07:55

OMG OMGO OmG OmG ROWENA

DID SHE BECOME QUEEN OF HELL

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YES

THIS IS THE CHARACTER ARC SHE NEEDED

-

THOSE BRAIDS

-

07:57

someday i wanna do makeup as well as rowena’s makeup magically manifests. that glitter eyeliner over the black wing is mmmmmmmmmmmm

-

08:00

ahh bless

a bechdel test pass

it’s been too long

*edit* BUT DID THIS EVEN COUNT??? IF SUE IS NOT SUE

-

queen of hell suits rowena better than any dress she’s ever worn

so we’ve got rowena as queen of hell, billie as death.... need one more lady in charge of heaven to complete a power trio OH YEAH AMARA. god yes give me that......... pun intended i guess

-

08:03

rowena after looking at dean and cas for 1 second: “what am i picking up from you two? tell auntie rowena”

ROWENA IS THE BEST I LOVE HER SO MUCH

-

two grumpy grumble butts: “it’s fine”

WOW

-

YOU HEARD THE QUEEN OF FUCKING HELL YOU TWO

FIX YOUR DAMN PROBLEMS THIS INSTANT

-

SAM WHAT TERRIBLE TIMING

jeez they really don’t wanna have that conversation in front of an audience

someday they better get NOT FUCKING INTERRUPTED

knock knock

who’s there

interrupting moose

-

08:09

adam’s facial expressions look so much like dean’s

-

08:11

for some reason i was just watching dean say “i didn’t wanna jinx it” and looking at his eyelashes and then involuntarily imagined him wearing rowena’s fake lashes

it was a good look

-

dean looks so, sooo pretty in this blue shirt

maybe blue for cas’ eyes

-

08:17

cas says to micheal “your father is certainly not who you knew” but not “our father” as in chuck is no longer his father

-

“you called me assbutt and set me on fire”

yeah pretty much iconic, no?

-

oohh jeez poor michael, poor adam

sent to hell, comes back and is aggressively greeted by the same assholes who sent him there

-

dean put a black armour jacket over his vulnerable blue one to talk to adam

-

08:32

dean sees cas sitting alone and gets himself a beer without offering one for cas

ohhhh that hurts

-

/takes screenshots of cas’ side profile

what a good profile

-

dean’s back in his blue vulnerability shirt

-

OHHHHHHHHHHHHH SEND DEAN AND CAS BACK TO PURGATORY TO FETCH A FLOWER OF SYMBOLIC “BINDING” YES

FIX THE STORY WITH THEIR LOVE

*edit* ............hey. heyheyheyhey does anyone remember those promo posters from season 8 of dean poking his head out around a tree in purgatory and there was a flower there?? and as far as i know we never actually saw the flower in canon and it was Weird? foRESHADOWING or ?????? hindshadowing?

-

no michael’s not coming on your gay flower road trip, dean

no third wheel this time thank u

TALK ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS WITHOUT BEING INTERRUPTED PLEASE

-

michael is literally just....sending dean and cas to pick flowers together

-

08:41

it’s over

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS 10/10 THAT WAS GREAT 

I LOVE THE SETUP FOR WHERE THIS IS GOING

rowena as queen of hell 15/10 best thing that ever happened on this show

adam getting his apology and peaceing out yes good

SENDING DEAN AND CAS TO PICK FLOWERS IN FUCKING PURGATORY THE LAND OF THEIR YEAR OF PINING HELL YES

i love how self-referential this whole story has become and it’s so GOOD to have all these loose ends come back to hopefully be tied up one by one

i just....... i just checked the writer for this episode and i AM AMAZED it’s a deadly duo episode??????????????????????  H O W

bechdel test pass?? holy shit (well...... i doubt this now but still)

only woman who died was lilith and she was awful

unless you count sue but i don’t think sue was real to begin with

and there was a black guy.... with lines.... who didn’t die??? astonishing

also the pacing was like... good or whatever. at least i didn’t think it was patchy like their episodes usually are. and the script wasn’t bland and boring ?? what is happening here

PLUS ROWENA POINTING OUT THAT THERE’S soMethING GoiNg On between dean and cas which draws attention to it for later resolution, despite the audience already knowing they had a tiff

colour me impressed, anyway

[satanandmeappreciation]

Spotlight #8 - buttfaceandme (Buttie)

http://buttfaceandme.tumblr.com/

Tell us a little about yourself!

Hi, I’m Buttie, and you may or may not know me! I like reading SaM and for a while, I regularly graced the fandom with silly doodles and humor. I’m a 21 year old German, I love pigeons, and welcome to my crib.

When did you get into the fandom and how did you stumble upon it?

I found the comic through the original post and started reading it fairly early on (the fact that I can’t remember the exact update it was on at the time for memories sake is my biggest regret to date). After looking through the entire tag, I was a buttman obsessed, and started watch the streams also -- Run was one of my first ones, but I’d seen a handful before it. However, I never talked in streams, and didn’t join the fandom at all until August 2015. When I made my blog (with a placeholder URL that ended up sticking) is when I fell fast and hard, and ended up getting really involved with the fandom. The ‘final’ stream had passed by the time I’d started socializing, so I was pretty upset, but I’ve gotten to attend a lot of streams since then!

Who are your favorite characters/pairings? I’m not big on shipping and vaguely dislike romantic ships -- platonic’s where it’s at. That said, I do appreciate ChamZoe, I’ve got an interest in Kristi/Laila and Anabiel/Jophiel/Metatron and I’m 100% weak for Pailix. The latter’s honestly the only ship I’d say I have, but I guess poly-ships in general are how to get me.

Characters are hard, cause I love all of them. Right now I’d say it’s Michael, Uriel, Pax, maybe Raguel and I loved every moment we had Jericho in the story. Sheipos. (Especially Sheila though.) And that one silver-haired background angel.

Favorite moment in the comic?

My favorite moment is [redacted for spoilers], [redacted for more spoilers] and every time there’s a good shot of Michael (or generally visually pleasing angel stuff -- the bottom line is, art will always trump plot for me).

What is your biggest inspiration as far as your art/writing goes?

I wish I knew how to answer this question, but I really don’t; it doesn’t help that I’m completely lacking inspiration right now. I think usually when I produce something, it’s based on a spur-of-the-moment idea or joke... so maybe it’s the fact that you can take a joke or a concept and take it further, through art? I was in a big art slump before joining the Samily™, and I wouldn’t have started drawing again without outside input. When I made a bunch of humorous, doodly comics, it was kind of like making art with people -- always through interacting, part of a conversation, etc. and that gives you a lot of energy. Also notes. Everybody loves notes. Mhmm.

What would you say is your favorite piece that you’ve done so far?

the real favorite piece is the friends we’ve made along the way

(This is a very tough question, especially since most of my SaM work hasn’t been serious. I’m settling on this comic, because it never fails to make me laugh, and these are what people know me for. However, my magical girl designs are a close second!)

What would you say is one of your favorite things to draw/write? For drawing I guess I enjoy drawing hair, fabric and flowy things a lot; angels, as well as just designing outfits or color-mapping things. With a solid sketch, line-arting is one of my favorite things. Oh, and people facing left at a slight angle, that’s a good one. Also, when I’m doodling traditionally I somehow always end up drawing Gabe! The nose has me hooked (ha ha).

I don’t write a lot, but I used to love discussing meta with people and it was great. I love just putting down my thoughts, rambling, theorizing, and using 27 different adjectives to describe the same thing in a weird mix of poetry and prose. I’m a huge sucker for concepts and thoughts, and can’t do plot.

What do you think influences your art/writing style?

I don’t really have a good answer for this one. I guess I get inspired by cartoons and animation a lot when it comes to style, but I also just really liking at art, so it just all comes together. I definitely  don’t try to do anything specific. No way for me to not mention Orange here though, because I’m sure I’ve learnt more from watching her draw than I can think of. The best way to describe it is that I’ve seen her drawn some things -- like profiles, for example -- and gone ‘oh’, because it just clicked, and suddenly made sense to me.

What are some of your hobbies you enjoy? I like singing, daydreaming, taking walks and generally being outside. And looking at pretty things, which sounds silly, but is super fulfilling.

Before joining SaM, what was a fandom you were part of and are there any fandoms you’re into outside of SaM? I’d stopped being active in fandoms for quite a while before SaM. While I’m a fan of a lot of things, I was always passive and never contributed... before SaM. Things I enjoyed were the unmentionables of Sherlock, SPN and Marvel when they were big, Homestuck, Madoka and maybe other webcomics. I feel like there’s more, those don’t feel like my main fandoms at all, but I can’t think of anything else. It’s all a blur, really, who remembers life before SaM?

Is there anything else you’d like the fandom to know about you or anything you’d like to say to the fandom as a whole? I didn’t wanna make it my favorite piece, but please read Cockoa Latte (NSFW). It’s a work of art. Also, I had nothing to do with Butts before SaM. Nothing. Now they’re my entire identity, proving how damn powerful these people are. What I’m saying is, choose your name wisely.

P.S. I love you guys (even if I don’t know most of you) and I really need to start checking in on the tag again. This fandom will always be special to me. Keep producing all the lovely content you do! ♥

Please check out Buttie’s art tag and show her some love!

SFW Art tag: http://buttfaceandme.tumblr.com/tagged/myart

Writing tag: http://buttfaceandme.tumblr.com/tagged/my+writing

NSFW tag: http://nuttfaceandme.tumblr.com/tagged/myart