#spn 15x18 coda

[highfunctioningflailgirl]

Empty

There’s nothing abstract about death. No grappling with mythical concepts. No vague hopes, built on blind faith. Not for Dean Winchester, anyway. Death is a gut punch, immediate and real, and he feels its shock in every bone as he sits on the bunker’s cold floor, head in his hands.

And afterimage of Cas plays on repeat in his head. The sucking, slurping noise of the Empty taking him. Castiel’s teary smile - serene, accepting.

He’s gone.

He’s gone, and with him the chance to reply to his confession. To man the fuck up and say something, anything instead of just standing there like an idiot and, tail tucked between his legs, going for a stupid “Don’t do this.”

Love.

Loss.

He can handle both, but not like this, not in this sudden, heady, terrible mash-up of something ending when it could just have begun.

Castiel’s death cuts through Dean like an axe. He’s cleaved in half and bleeding out. No strength left to pick up the phone and answer Sam’s call. No oxygen in his brain to process that the world is ending. His muscles are deflating, skin cold, and everything that hurts is slowly growing numb.

Cas is in the Empty. Dean is empty. Hollow. Drained. A shell.

Death isn’t abstract. It’s physical. Sticky, black and consuming.

Dean cries into his hands.

Take me as well.

[fanfic-corner]

do u have any fics that i wont have heard of? like ones with fewer hits so there harder to find

ooo this is a good one, anon! you haven't specified which fandom you're interested in, so I'll start with SPN and then do some other fandoms if people are interested :) and for the purposes of this, I'll be counting anything with under 5k hits as lesser known!

Lesser Known Destiel Fics

you're the one that i wanted to find by badritual (373)

The Castiel of old has fallen away like molted feathers, leaving behind a wholly new creation.

gay love pierced through the veil of death and saved the day by honeybee (444)

Cas doesn’t die. That’s literally it.

this is a good thing, dean. (prayer is a sign of faith) by cascountsdeansfreckles (529)

Dean’s legs still don’t want to move. He sits propped up against the wall and stares unseeing at the chair in the middle of the room. Everything that Cas said plays over and over in his head. The image of Cas looking devastatingly relieved, content, as he was taken from Dean won’t leave his mind.

He doesn’t know what else to do. So he prays.

1 Missed Call by glenien (597)

The buzzing never stops.

so it goes by K_K_TiBal (665)

Castiel returns one more time to retrieve something he left behind.

absurd in the best way by clasch (669)

Castiel tries to make a pie for Dean.

Bodily Communion by runsinthefamily (905)

Survival in Purgatory has some weird aspects.

may i feel said he by bk119 (1k)

a coda to 15.19. cas comes back, and words are said.

choices. by scoundrelhan (1.1k)

Castiel thinks he’s dying. Humans are always doing that.

you can have it, though by make_your_user_a_name (1.1k)

Jack was walking away and it was too late. It was too late because Dean didn’t think he would have to say anything. He thought Jack would bring it up and they would never have to know that he missed Cas so desperately it hurt. It hurt so goddamn bad.

And then Jack stopped and turned back to the Winchesters, his eyes focused on Dean. And that’s when it hit him. Jack knew. Jack knew what Cas had said. Jack knew Dean needed to say it or the second Cas was back everything would just go back to normal.

So he did.

“Bring him back.” His voice was low but it wasn’t threatening. It came out more broken than anything. Because he was so broken. And maybe it was okay to let them see it. “Bring Cas back, Jack. We,” he glanced at Sam and took a deep breath. “I need him.”

15x18 coda: it's in the being by contemplativepancakes (1.1k)

Blood splatters from a severed neck, the body twitching before it collapses to the floor. It sprays across Dean’s face, dotting red droplets over his cheeks and in his hair. Dean keeps his mouth shut so he doesn’t get the taste of copper stuck in it; he already can’t get Cas’s face out of his mind.

Dean knows this is the last place he should be, that with the world ending, it doesn’t really matter if there’s one less nest of vamps in the world, but if he stops moving, then he’ll… have to think.

“I wondered what my true happiness could even look like, because the one thing I want, it’s something I know I can’t have.”

Fuck, they wasted so much time.

15x19 coda: stripped of everything holy by contemplativepancakes (1.2k)

“About time we put you on the family tree, right?”

Jack sinks down in the chair across from him, contemplating. He puts the tip to the table and rests it there.

Jack glances up at him. “Why isn’t Cas’s name here?”

That’s a damn good question, Dean thinks. It’s because he was too much of a fucking coward. Dean’s still having trouble reconciling everything Cas said with the past ten years of his life. It seems like, maybe, if he thinks about it hard enough, he can see that Cas returned his feelings, but he still can’t believe Cas said all those things. He’s bullshit all the way through, but Cas… Cas hadn’t thought so.

Dean clears his throat. “We’ll add his next, huh?”

candles & wishes by harrow (1.2k)

Dean turned to Cas speculatively. “Do you have a birthday?”

Now Everything is Easy 'cause of You by chai_lattes (1.3k)

Cas never understood why humans were so fond of sleeping, but he was starting to. Dean chalked it up to knowing that they were finally safe, or Cas finally had a real bed, but Cas would just smile, quietly knowing the real difference was no longer having to sleep alone.

Cas reflects on being human, being happy, and being a morning person.

Chocolate, Caramel, and Zombies (Of a Metaphorical Sense) by TextReciprocation (1.4k)

Castiel approached the counter and looked at the menu contemplatively. The barista spun around to face him, eyes bright and hair untidy. He was roughly Castiel's height and build, with sandy hair and lightly tanned skin. Castiel's breath caught at the sight of him, but he bit his tongue, chastising himself.

Cute baristas were rarely gay and always taken. Castiel knew this. Fate, as it happened, was a cruel mistress.

Never Enough by make_your_user_a_name (1.5k)

It took him hours to notice it. He hadn’t felt it in the moment. Hadn’t felt the Cas’ hand stick slightly to his shoulder as it pushed him away, leaving him to face the Empty alone.

But now that he’d noticed it, it was all he could look at. That bright red handprint standing out starkly against his jacket. It was perfect, really. Not a drop out of place. Just a handprint and nothing else. That was all he had left.

The handprint where Castiel had “gripped him tight and raised him from perdition.” And now he’d saved him one more time. Same shoulder, same placement, same sting when Dean looked at it.

It was poetic in the cruelest of ways. And if it weren’t for everything, he would have thought this was Chuck’s writing. But, no. Castiel was the only part of Chuck’s story that he couldn’t control. Because Cas had fallen.

how's hope feeling today by sleepinnude (1.5k)

After Cas is gone, bees start to follow Dean.

Sunrise by mattzerella_sticks (1.7k)

Dean and Sam were free. Finally, unequivocally, free.

But this wasn't the happy ending Dean had expected. Maybe in the past, having Sam in the passenger seat tearing across an open stretch of highway as the sunsets, it'd be what he wanted. But that was years ago. He's not that man anymore. Dean's tired of sunsets, of saying goodbye. He yearns for a different ending. One that's less of an ending, and more of a beginning. A sunrise instead of a sunset.

Sam has his. Dean lost his. Despite this setback, he won't stop. He'll live in memory of his sunrise.

Except, what can he do when he feels those rays on his face again?

Loving Castiel by dinluke (1.9k)

“How did you find me?” Dean asks. Castiel squints and looks at him like he’s the sun.

“Your, uh, yearning was pretty loud,” he says sheepishly.

Sleep Deprivation by Honey_Honey (2.3k)

Dean licked his lips. They tasted like honey. Which was funny, seeing as it was the one part of his breakfast he hadn’t eaten. In fact, Cas had tried the honey instead.

Oh. Oh fuck.

“Did I just kiss Cas?”

And Sam’s descent into uncontrollable laughter was an answer enough.

Walk Through Fire For You by purple_charlie (2.3k)

Boyfriend.

The word still feels foreign in Dean’s mouth, still brings back echoes of John Winchester’s thinly-veiled (if even that) homophobia. "Man up, don’t be a sissy, I didn’t raise a fairy". It’s a swollen blister in the back of Dean’s mind, throbbing with pain whenever a stranger’s eyes linger too long on Cas’ hand in his, whenever a waitress double-takes at how close they sit in diner booths.

But here, dirty dancing with Cas in a warehouse full of other queer folks, Dean wants to shout from the rooftops- I’m Dean Winchester, I drive the baddest car in town, I lift heavy things for a living, and this is my boyfriend.

Could Not Return You by tigersinlondon (2.8k)

Dean might have gotten over himself when it comes to sleeping with Cas (in the sex way, not the cuddles-and-snoring way), and even telling him that he loves him, but he’s not ready to do anything crazy like hold his hand in public, or admit aloud that they’re in a relationship in front of Sam, or God forbid, actually share a room, a bed, a living space with Cas.

Funny Bone by PallasPerilous (4.9k)

It wasn’t even a particularly creepy skeleton; it was in kind of a “just chillin’” pose on the floor. One ankle was still locked up in a heavy iron cuff, at the end of a short chain leading back to the wall. Snoresville, as dead stuff goes; Dean’s seen worse at Disneyland.

It was the skeleton’s comment about Dean’s ass that really livened things up.

Compromise by tiamatv (7.5k)

It wasn't uncommon for Dean to find himself tracking down an ex-angel in their underground home in the middle of the night, because Cas got nightmares. Ten years ago, though, if anyone had told Dean this would become a semi-regular occurrence in his life, he’d probably have laughed so hard, his beer would have come out of his nose.

Crazy Hex Girlfriend by whichstiel (10k)

Dean and Castiel infiltrate an extravagant couples-only Halloween party at the invitation of the party’s host who has been receiving mysterious threats. They patrol the party for hex bags and dark altars, interview suspects, and Dean happily scores a lot of free food. He just wishes he could score with Cas.

How Many Slams In An Old Screen Door? [podfic] by Tenoko1 (15k/2hr podfic)

In which Castiel is a theatre major terrible at first impressions; Dean is a set designer who likes Cas anyway; and the most chaotic production of Les Miserables in history somehow manages to go off without a hitch. Or, just as you should never give a moose a muffin (because he'll want some jam to go with it), you should never give a blank check to a university theatre department. [podfic version]

The Cabin on the Lake by DeanRH (22k)

The Winchester brothers are long lost to history. The angel keeps the vigil, haunted by the shadows of his regrets.

Among other things.

this post is getting way too long so I'm gonna start a second one now!! hopefully you can enjoy these lesser known fics in the meantime :)

[ipromiseimawriter]

WIP TITLE GAME

RULES: post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! and then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

Tagged by @zahnie - thank you omg!!

From most recently worked on to least (roughly): (I tend to be pretty literal with these for the most part, if they don't already have a title)

destiel fix it fic - draft 2: is what it says on the tin. I will get to chipping at the end of this godforsaken series, so hELP ME. I do have a fancy lil summary though (this could get edited later but y'know!!):

“What are you doing? Dean, no–!” “You asked me to stop you. So I’m stopping you.” ( As promised, the Empty came for Castiel when his soul called. When it sang a happiness so profound that nothing else could possibly contain it. But Dean wasn’t ready to let go – and if you were to ask him, he’d swear he had failed Cas one too many times. So when the time came, he sank right down with him. )  Chuck could’ve called it, really. But there’s no biblical preparation for their journey through the Empty. It’s all up to them, now, while Sam and Jack (and friends) race to undo Chuck’s damage to the world. Alternating POV. 15x18 CODA/Fix-It Fic for end of 15x18/15x19 & beyond [15x20 who is she lmao]

destiel theatre bitches AU: an incredibly self-indulgent AU where Dean and Castiel are professors for a theatre department at a (made-up) small liberal arts school somewhere in Kansas. Cas is a new arrival to the department who's making waves (and suggesting some batshit shows for production), Dean's the gruff and well-loved scene shop head/tech professor who doesn't like his toes getting stepped on (jk yes he does), and they're gonna be soooo normal about it (me when i lie). nearly everyone and their mom is in this AU. we have fun here

Welcome to Purgatory: an original work (longform)! a story inspired by my time interacting with SPN/with other horror-fantasy adjacent medias, some characters I've had for 1000 years, and just - fucking around and finding out. I def tried to NaNoWriMo it before, to no such luck, so I just chip at it on my own time. I've got a running tag for it if you're ever interested! (old summary)

Jules Herrick went missing without a trace in the early nineties, and his hunting partner, Simon Villanova, never saw him again. We jump ahead about twenty-five years and realize why he should’ve stayed missing. Victor and Amelia are two childhood friends separated by time and responsibility, reuniting for what should be a normal road trip under less fortunate circumstances - the death of a mutual friend. However, the trip is quickly derailed by a strange pursuer that sends them on the run, and into action.  The people who catch up with them to help are not what they expect. The lives their families have led were kept from the two for safety. But between a rogue demon, its lost hellhound, and a secret organization hunting down the missing man and his cohorts, one question must be asked: What does Jules Herrick want with the end of the world, as they know it?

go catch a sunset (stanford-era dean/the outsiders bullshit): a Stanford-era Dean fic (which has 2 chapters up!) that I sort of use as my lil swimming pool for figuring ideas out? Mostly just speculation and big character thoughts on that very vulnerable time. I'm v much looking forward to introducing both Bobby and Cassie soon, getting some Winchester drama, and picking at those good backstory characters.

mama barracuda (WIP title - eldritch horror type shit): an original work (short story). "There's a monster in the woods, just off the beaten path from Hope's home. She isn't the first to be trapped into position of Keeper for the Barracuda of the Backwoods, but she is the first - in a very long time - to truly understand her. They call her Mama." So essentially - monster collects teeth for her own rotting mouth. Sisyphean effort on the Keeper's part. Symbiotic parasite/mother-daughter type shit. LOTS TO UNPACK.

honorable mention: a bunch of plays and other lil bits that would take me too long to describe <333

tagging: @subtlefires, @disabled-dean , @butchabouttown, @luckshiptoshore , and anyone who wants to play! (this includes all my friends who may see this and go "hey i have wips". give it to me. i want to see it)

[wintrata]

and so the Righteous Man knelt;

pairing: dean winchester/castiel tags: spn 15x18 kinda-coda, angst, major character death, flash fic, 700wc (read on ao3)

Our Father, who art fucking around Somewhere, You know ain’t the praying type, but I don’t know what to do without him.

and so the Righteous Man knelt;

Our Father, who art fucking around Somewhere, You know ain’t the praying type, but I don’t know what to do without him. It’s been an hour and a half and I don’t think I’m getting up off of this floor, ‘cause he loves me. I never even got to say it back. Did You write my heartbreak, too?

Hallowed be thy name when he calls for You, even when You didn’t think to answer back, and that’s years, man, I watched him. I saw the fall. I’d say sorry for planting the seeds of doubt in Your good soldier’s heart but that was Your work as much as it was mine. You never even picked up the phone.

Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven. Does that please You? Is that sufficient? That my mama died flaming on burning plaster over my dad, and You wrote the pages to that book, was it enough? My baby tells me he loves me and has to leave, did You need more, still? Why would Thy Will need all this bleeding? Why would Thy Will mean the first of the sins was love? That all we’d ever do was get it wrong? I’m no saint, I know my day will come, and You’ve no room for me upstairs, I won’t fight that, but I love him, and I haven’t let him know yet.

Would You give us this day, and the day after that? Just a fraction of a fraction of a moment of his time, I’ll make him sandcastles and breakfast, and apologise some more. I don’t beg, You know that, You wrote that into my wirings. You know I’m telling the truth, but just give him back to me, I’ll not bite the hand that I eat from. I don’t trust myself to be deserving but for him You know I’d try. Just a day. For a day with my baby I’d penance with my life. Pay another forty years in the pit You heated, for the forty years I did it all wrong. Your measure of a lifetime in sulfur and sores for the one I'm living now, I haven't got much left anyway. I’ll make churches with my bare hands, if You bring him back, I would swim the deep, dig the grave back open, fit back into the box. Say You are love. Say You loved the world so much You gave Your only son. Say I'm desperate. Say I love him so much I don't even have to be here for it if it meant he'd wake in his bed and hold his son, I’m praying, man, can You hear? Can't You give him the chance I'm not gettin'? I can’t be all grief and handprints and running.

Do You take deals, God? I’ll put the drink down, I’ll stop the lies, give back our daily bread, our tender meat, the next headless corpse or frightful spirit, another go at my soul. Bring my sweetheart back.

And forgive us our trespasses, I promise not to make any more, do You hear me? It means You’ve won, it means I’m Cain, means I’m crawling on the dirt, I’m the murder. Means I'm whatever you need me to be. Means I’m scared. Means I’m afraid that if I were to lift my stone-wielding hand and ask my little brother to close his eyes, he would understand and turn his back to me. He knows I'm asking for my love back. He’d forgive me for this, just as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil,

or at least deliver him to me. Or me to him. Or someone good to somebody who don't deserve 'em but loves 'em like nothing You've ever written in Your good Book. If You opened the door I would ask to be folded into the Empty just as he. I don't suppose I'm asking for too much. Heaven is a peace I'm not getting but long already made. If You can't lead him back to the phonebooth, can You at least let me slip into the dark?

Amen.

[misha-moose-dean-burger-lover]

for @irrlicht-ghostfront. spoilers for 15x18 ahead.

dean's still in room 7B, folded into himself against a wall, when sam and jack find him. two sets of footsteps fade into just one, as sam approaches slowly. this has to be just him. dean won't cry in front of the kid.

"dean." he tries, but gets interrupted.

"sammy," dean sounds devastated, voice scratchy and ruined, as if he's been crying for hours. which is probably exactly what he's been doing.

sam reaches for him, mouth twisted in sympathy.

"sammy, he said he loves me."

sam's not an idiot, he pieced it together when he saw his brother, and jack had told him about cas's deal on their drive back, so he knows. he thinks he gets it. dean's feeling guilt, and grief, and —

dean lets out a choked sound of pain. "sam, he — he told me. he told me i've changed him, and he wasn't supposed to change, and he told me he cares, and i care, of course i care, and i —"

sam swallows, tears pricking his own eyes at the state his brother was in. tensed, still in disbelief, trembling with his words. hair ruined to an absolute mess, and red rimmed eyes with nothing but loss in them.

"i couldn't even say it back."

"dean," sam whispers, scared now. "please get up."

"i couldn't — i couldn't even say — and he said it made him happy to just be, and not have, and i couldn't even —" dean breaks down with another sound of anguish, even as he let his brother take his arm and hoist him to his feet.

"and then he leaves —"

"i get it, dean." sam tells him softly, wanting to promise his brother the redemption he craved, a do-over, and most of all, a tryst with his angel.

"sammy, he was right here, and he told me he loved me, and i couldn't even — couldn't even save him, couldn't even —"

sam hugs him.

and for once, dean lets himself be held together by his brother, instead of taking charge. burying his face in sam's shoulder, dean continues to shake, breathing raggedly, and sam knows he has to keep himself together for his brother's sake, because he's never seen him come apart like this. and he's seen him come apart way too many times.

"how could he?" dean grits out, and sam has no answer for him. "how could he love me — how could he go away? and how could he never know i —" dean trails off, but begins again. "i —"

sam closes his eyes wordlessly, and waits for dean to let himself say it.

and he does.

"sammy, i love him too." dean whispers, and that's it. he's there, he's finally there.

but cas isn't.

"i love him, and now he's gone."

[jemariel]

Lead Me Home

15x18 coda. Rated M.

They’re back. They’re all back. Everyone Chuck took—Donna, Eileen, Stevie, Bobby, the other hunters.

All of them.

Except one.

Even when it should be impossible, Castiel will always come when Dean calls.

Angst, then fluff, then smut. This is just what I needed to write today.

Read on Ao3

Buy me a ko-fi

[rf--idontusethisanymore]

15x18: CODA

Find on Ao3 here

...because the one thing I want...it’s something I know I can’t have…

Dean sits with his head in his hands, heart screaming in his ears.

...I know how you see yourself, Dean...I know how you see yourself…but everything you have ever done, the good, and the bad, you have done for love…

The bloody handprint weighs against his shoulder, almost with a pulse of its own.

...you know, ever since we met, ever since I pulled you out of hell, knowing you has changed me. Because you cared, I cared...I cared about the whole world, because of you…

Sam’s calling, but Dean lets it ring. It doesn’t matter.

...I love you...I love you...I love you…

Dean’s breath hitches, and he tears his hands through his hair, slamming his fists to the floor and head back against the wall. Tears stream down his face as he sees Castiel in his last moments on the back of his eyelids, looking at him with pure admiration, saying I love you…

“FUCK!” Dean yells, then grinds his teeth so hard he’s surprised there aren’t tooth shavings in his mouth. He cries for what could be hours or years. Sam calls a few more times, then the phone stops ringing. “Goddamnit, Cas,” Dean whispers, eyes red and puffy, nose running, cheeks covered in tear tracks. 

He opens his eyes and sniffs, runs a hand roughly under his eyes, then braces himself and looks at last to his left shoulder. Dean stifles a sob at the sight, a mimic of that first brand Castiel had left on him all those years ago. He raises a shaking hand up, up, up, and gently brushes the mark. The blood is dry. 

Dean takes a shaky breath, then clinches his eyes, bows his head, sending a prayer he knows won’t be heard, that he knows is eleven years too late…

I love you too, Castiel.

[deanscasanova]

die and rise the same

destiel, 1.3k, 15x18 coda

read on ao3

Shoutout, as usual, to @sharkfish​ for their help!

---

Dean knows how this goes.

They’ve lost Cas half a dozen times now, over the years. He knows the drill. He hurts, then he grieves, then he fights, and then - although sometimes in the middle here he gives up, accepts the enormity of what he’s trying to do, the impossibility of it all, but still always, always, always - he gets Cas back.  

Dean knows how this is supposed to go. He hurts and he cries and he screams, and then he gets back up again and keeps on fighting. But he doesn’t want to keep fighting. He doesn’t want to get back up. He doesn’t want anything, and he wants everything he can’t have, and it hurts, and it hurts, and it-

They’ve lost Cas half a dozen times now, over the years, but Dean can’t quite put his finger on how many times he’s lost Cas. On the moment it became a loss he didn’t quite share with Sam. Something different. Something personal. Something like lov-

Dean doesn’t know how this is supposed to go.

Cas flipped the script. He was always good at that, right from the start, and for a while there Dean thought he was used to it. But now here he is, collapsed on the floor with a bloody handprint on his shoulder and he can’t. He can’t get up, can’t keep on fighting, can’t go through this all again, again, when every time it feels like it’s going to tear him apart from the inside.

He’s done this half a dozen times before, yet every time feels like the first. He’s tried ignoring the pain, pushing it down and focusing on the hunt and pretending, pretending, until he almost manages to convince himself it’s not there. He’s tried drinking, beer and whiskey and then anything he could get his hands on, because a hangover hurts less than heartbreak, because an empty bottle is the kind of future he can handle. He’s tried just letting himself feel, telling himself that he needs to feel it before he can move on, that in time it’ll pass and it won’t hurt so much - but it never works. It consumes him until there’s nothing else but agony and anguish and still no angel by his side.

He’s tried denial and anger and acceptance and apathy, and none of it is enough to replace what he’s lost.

So instead he just sits there, collapsed on the floor with a bloody handprint on his shoulder, and he cries, and he remembers.

He remembers the days when a handprint on his shoulder was an embarrassment, a weight of a different kind. Burden rather than belonging. Something he hid and that Sam teased him about and that he’d have given anything to be rid of. He doesn’t remember when that changed, can’t remember a moment he liked having it there, but at the same time remembers that he was sad to see it gone. That it was just another loss, on top of so many unbearable losses, that left him kneeling in the dirt in a cemetery so close to home.

He remembers those early days, when there was nothing between them but duty, a civility that sometimes bordered on hostility. When it was the job, the job, demons to fight and monsters to hunt, and there was no room in the day for anything that wasn’t in service of stopping Lucifer. He thinks about how they failed, and they failed, and they kept fighting anyway. How Castiel fell, was corrupted day by day, by the shit and the Earth and Dean.

How slowly, so slowly that Dean barely even noticed, duty turned to loyalty. How loyalty led to loss. How one day loss was gone and left devotion in its place.

And he remembers that first betrayal, the day devotion died. A betrayal that left him bleeding, like nothing he’d ever known, that hurt more than he could ever have prepared for. He remembers a ring of holy fire, and the blasphemy it brought to light. He remembers a coat, fished from a river, soaking wet but still so bloody. The coat that Cas once wore, folded up into the trunk. Carried from car to car, from job to job, through those very darkest days. Because grief doesn’t care about betrayal; grief comes anyway, even when it shouldn’t, love with no place to go but the old coat cradled in his arms.

He remembers the Cas who didn’t remember. He remembers the Cas who did. He remembers when the darkest days got darker, and Cas was far too far away.

He remembers those days in purgatory, when all he wanted was Castiel. He remembers the days after purgatory, when all he wanted was Castiel. He remembers the days after, the years after, through every betrayal and every bereavement, when all he wanted was Castiel.

He remembers a bloody hand on his bloody cheek in the cold stone of a crypt. A sword stabbed into wood. Churches and forests and bedsides made holy only by his prayer. His back against the wall in an alley in the rain. Tears in newly-human eyes. Stolen glances, fleeting touches, and hugs that would never be tight enough. A hunter’s pyre and scorched wings and the condemning stillness of a lake. He thinks I’d rather have you, cursed or not, and I’m not leaving here without you. He thinks don’t ever change, and don’t make me lose you too, and I need you -

And about Cas, through it all. He thinks about Cas, by his side, about Cas, about Cas, about we’re making it up as we go, and I’ll come with you, and I lo-

He remembers the days when having Castiel by his side was enough. When the open road and an angel by his side was all he needed. All he wanted. A beer and a burger and jokes that didn’t hit, squinted eyes and a tilt of the head and -

He wonders when that stopped being enough. When he started to want more. Started to want the thing he could never have.

Things he maybe could’ve had. This whole time. If only he’d -

Happiness isn’t in the having, it’s in just being, he said. Well Dean must be broken, because happiness couldn’t be further away without Castiel by his side. He’s spent too damn long without Castiel by his side.

And Castiel doesn’t always come home. After more than a decade, Dean has come to terms with that. Cas doesn’t always come home, but that’s okay - because as long as Dean’s around, there’ll be someone to bring him home.

So he’ll bring him home.

Dean stops crying. He picks himself up. He doesn’t grieve, because to grieve would be to accept that Castiel is gone, and he won’t accept it. He never will. Because if he taught Castiel to feel, then Castiel taught him faith. So he fights, and he fights and he fights, and -

And he brings Castiel home.

Dean doesn’t know how this is supposed to go, but he’s done being afraid. He’s done holding the truth at the back of his throat and choking through the days. He’s done hiding, he’s done pretending, and he’s done grieving for all the time they’ve lost to fear. Because there will never be a right time, but there will always be a now.

So he says it. He says it without elegance, without diminishing. He finally says it, lays it all out, lets it stand and speak for itself.

He says, broken and bleeding; “I love you too.”

And Castiel looks at him, with that fond look in his eyes, and says; “Hello, Dean.”

[destiel-owns-my-ass]

Destiel 15x18 Coda

I was waiting for someone to drop a coda for that scene in 15x18 and since y’all didn’t come through fast enough, I wrote it myself. I really hope y’all like this bc i poured my heart into it. Also this is hella sad and angsty so please get ready for that. Enjoy!

--------

The loud pounding on the door every minute or two made Dean even more distraught than he had been already. Death would get through this door any minute and take him. And there was nothing he could do about it. "She's gonna get through that door." Dean voiced his concerns out loud. He slowly stepped towards Cas, hoping maybe the angel had any idea how to get them out of this situation.

"I know. Cas wouldn't even look at him. 

"And she's gonna kill you, and then she's gonna kill me." How could the angel stay so calm in moments like this? They were about to die. Did he not understand the seriousness of the situation? The door kept pounding in the backround, making it impossible to stay calm. "I'm sorry." This was all his fault. If it wouldn't have been his stupid idea to confront death they wouldn't be here right now. "Wait, there is- There's one thing she's afraid of." Dean raised his gaze from the floor, looking at Cas with new found hope in his eyes. "There's- There's one thing strong enough to stop her." Cas continued. He turned to face Dean, with a look the hunter couldn't describe. Desperate, but somehow with a glimpse of hope in his eyes. He had no idea what the angel was talking about, but maybe there was a way out of this situation. Dean searched Cas face for answers before he continued. "When Jack was dying, I- I made a deal to save him." "You what?" What the fuck had that to do with this situation? And why hadn't the angel told him sooner? A surge of anger swelled up in his breast but Dean tried to ignore it. "The- The price was my life."

What? Shock and confusion filled the hunter. 

"When I experienced a moment of true happiness, the empty would be summoned and it would take me forever." "Why are you telling me this now?" Dean was trying to put the pieces together in his mind but this was all happening so fast. Billie kept banging on the door, and made it impossible to form a conherent thought. "I always wondered, ever since I took that burden, that curse, I wondered what could it be, what- what my true happiness could even look like." Dean wasn't following. "I never found an answer. Because the one thing I want... it's something I know I can't have." The door kept pounding in the backround. Dean had just gotten out of almost having a heartattack a few minutes ago and now this. It was just all too much in too little time. "But I think I know- I think I know now." Cas had an odd smile on his face. Was that relief? "Happiness isn't in the having. It's in just being. It's in just saying it.

"What are you talking about, man?" This didn't make sense. Not at this time. They were about to die. Why did Cas start monologing?

"I know. I know how you see yourself, Dean." Dean couldn't hide the confusion spreading in his face now. What did that have to do with anything? "You see yourself the same way our enemies see you. You're destructive and you're angry and you're broken. You're- You're Daddy's Blunt Instrument." No,no,no. Dean realised what direction this was turning into. He tried to keep his emotions at bay, the way he always did, but this was different. He felt his eyes tearing up. This couldn´t be happening. Not right now. "And you think hate and anger,that's- that's what drives you. That's who you are. It's not" Everything Dean wanted to do was to tell him to shut up. He had realised what was happening. He didn't know how or why- but it was. He could be wrong though. Dean begged to everything that meant anything to him that he was wrong. "And everyone who knows you sees it. Everything you have ever done, the good and the bad, you have done for love." What Cas was saying- he couldn't believe it. The shock washing over him right now was undeniable. "You raised your little brother for love. You fought this whole world for love. That is who you are. You´re the most caring man on Earth. You are the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know." Cas teared up too know.

Dean wished he could stop this, but whatever was happening right now... it felt final. The door kept pounding in the backound. Dean had to swallow. He couldn't comprehend what was happening right now. Too many emotions all at the same time, washing over him. He had never seen the angel behave this way.

"You know, ever since we met and ever since I pulled you out of Hell, knowing you has changed me." A teared rolled down his face now. Dean couldn't think, couldn't talk, couldn't do anything but watch and listen. "Because you cared, I cared. I cared about you. I cared about Sam. I cared about Jack. I cared about the whole world because of you." Dean looked the angel deeply in the eyes, not being able to hide his fear now. "You changed me, Dean." "Why does this sound like a goodbye?" "Because it is." This was happening too fast. Dean slighty shook his head. No. This couldn't be happening right now. Cas couldn't leave him again. "I love you." What? No, he was lying, no one could ever love him, broken as he was. Dean couldn't accept this. Not right now. Not when Death was literally knocking on the door. "Don't do this, Cas" He was screaming in his mind. Please don't do this now, this is the worst timing ever. Dean heard a strange sound and turned around. The empty was summoned. He couldn't stop his lip from trembling. He turned his back to the empty to look at the angel one last time.The one thing, Dean had wanted for years, Cas had just admitted to. But he couldn't be happy about it. Because he would leave him. He searched the blue eyes he had learned to love, for anything. Any sign that this wasn't real. That this wasn't happening right now. But before Dean managed to get anything else out of Cas, the door swung open with a bang, and Billie entered the room.

"Cas-" was all he managed to say before Cas laid his hand on Dean's shoulder. "Goodbye, Dean" "What?" The angel pushed Dean away and all the hunter could do was to watch the man he loved get taken away from him. The black goo took both the angel and Death in a matter of seconds, before he could even realise what was happening. Dean stared at the spot in the room, in which the empty had dissapeared into. All that was left now was a deafening silence. He couldn't stop the tears from rolling down his face now. Cas was gone. The man he loved was gone and Dean didn't even have a chance to tell him. His phone started ringing, but Dean didn't have the energy to answer it. He knew it was Sam and he couldn't tell his brother what had happened. Not yet. Instead he just sat on the floor, sobbing into his palms and swearing to himself, whatever it would cost, he would get the angel back.

[neirilien]

What if they could save Cas from the Empty by extracting and destroying his grace once and for good, so that the Empty would have no power over him. But the spell that would be able to do it from afar would need a little bit of said angel's grace. And guess where they could find it? In Dean, who still has a bit of Cas' grace inside of him after Cas stitched him back together in Hell. But taking that little bit of grace out would kill Dean, because there would be nothing holding him together anymore. Sam and Jack would naturally be against it, but Dean would tell them, he'd tell them he loves Cas and that he can't, can't live without him. And he would beg Sam, tears streaming down his face, to do it, to save Cas, for him. And he would. And then Dean would die with the same content, relieved smile on his face as Cas did, and he would die happy, because finally, it was him who was able to save his love. And then Cas would appear, confused, and Sam and Jack would be there, both of them crying, and Cas would ask for Dean - and they would just sadly shake their heads, and Cas would realize what happened and he would just break, and Sam would just very quietly tell him: He asked me to tell you he loved you too.

[nurtalie]

I hope we get to see a little something like this...

            There he is. Cas. Five feet away. Cas. Beautiful and brilliant and alive. He’s breathing the same air Dean would be if he could remember he isn’t drowning anymore.               Cas takes a step forward and lets a tender “Dean” float from his upturned lips. His shining eyes are as full of wonder as the years, the words, the secrets, the fights, the touches, the sacrifices, the wins, the rebellions, and the love that led to this place where nothing is empty... To this time when the whole world is full of flourishing promises they believe they can hold it to.             “Cas,” Dean exhales, and their mirrored expressions are those of two people who know their name is safe in the other’s mouth.             But Dean needs Cas to know he’s more than just safe with him. He needs him to know that because of him, he believes he deserves to be happy.             It’s in just saying it.             “I love you too. Cas, I’ve loved you for so long… I just wasn’t ready to say it, but you’ve made me brave in a way fighting monsters never could.”             Now those baby blues are glazed with… Incredulity? Bewilderment? Awe? Understanding? Elation? Cas moves through the kaleidoscope he was just handed, without ever taking his focus off Dean.             “You love me too?”             He’s moving. He’s focused.             “You love me too.”             Dean’s body shakes as he lets out a joyous laugh. Finally, he and Cas are moving together.             “Come here you dumba-.”             Dean’s cut off by a force that has stretched out his life in a direction he never thought he’d get to move; a force that he changed. A force that changed him. A force that, for the first time, he gets to love in all the ways he’s longed to.             Cas tastes like the colours of a rainbow seeping into rich soil, and when Dean’s lips slowly become his own again, he reaches up to gently run his fingers through messy dark hair. Cas leans forward to rest his head on his shoulder and Dean pulls him in even closer.             They know a rescue from The Empty isn’t a promise of a life with no emptiness. They know a godless world doesn’t mean a world of goodness. They know the death of monsters didn’t birth an era of peace. But they will always be there to remind each other of the words spoken all those years ago, in that decrepit barn where sparks flew.             Good things do happen.

[finaledenialist]

Ok, so basically I haven’t written anything coherent in years. YEARS. I am not a writer guys. But something in me just snapped. And I kind of wanted to write something since 12x23, but never managed to. So anyway. Here it is. I have nothing in my defence. warnings: angst angst angst lots of angst; post 15x18; more angst; cas is dead; dean is sad; occasional Bad Word™, happy ending though, 2.8k words

*

This wasn't the first time Cas died, obviously.    Although it was the second time it felt truly permanent. Dean didn’t want to, but he remembered it all. Three years ago he was kneeling next to Cas' dead body, watching helplessly as the first raindrops started to wash away the trace of burnt wings on the ground. He couldn't believe what just happened, what he just saw. He doesn't quite recall how long he was kneeling there, but by the time he snapped out of this overwhelming feeling of disbelief, shock and helplessness, he was soaking wet. He remembers clearly as he looked at Cas' vessel, Cas’ body, laying in the mud and thought that no, not like this, he has to get Cas somewhere, anywhere from the dirty ground. Still in complete shock, he managed to grab Castiel's body and slowly lift him up. The trenchcoat was wet and dirty and smelled awfully, and Dean was barely able to get up and stand on his own two feet. His vision was blurry, and one thing he was sure of, it wasn't because of the rain. It was hardly the first time he ever had to move a dead body. It was always awful and generally hard to do. Moving an inert body took a lot of physical strength, and Dean was no stranger to it. Holding Cas though... This was some whole other level. 

The ground was slippery and boggy and Dean was trying to focus on every step because the other option was falling down and that meant Cas would once again end up in the mud and this was just too much. One step, two steps, three; towards the house. The sound of torrential rain was deafening but it was a good thing, at least Dean didn't have to listen to his own thoughts.  The scene of angel blade ripping through Cas right in front of him started replaying itself over and over and over again; Cas' blue eyes, looking directly at him, suddenly became full of light, and in the next second the blue, celestial light was everywhere, and it was bright and blinding, and Dean's eyes were burning but his whole body was paralyzed and he couldn't stop staring at the one thing he hoped he would never have to witness ever again.

And all of a sudden the darkness fell, almost darker than it was just moments before, and Cas was no longer looking at him; his eyes were empty and his body was sinking to the ground as Lucifer slowly pulled out the blade, smiling like Dean's world didn't just excruciatingly fell apart. Dean felt like he was experiencing everything in some kind of a sick slow motion. He knew his feet slipped on the mud, he knew he was falling, he knew his knees hit the ground but at the same time he felt like he was merely a powerless observer, who couldn't react. 'Dean', he heard from the distance, 'Dean!' Sam's voice slowly started to drag him back to reality. The reality he didn't want to be in. 'Dean!'    He blinked a few times, and there he was, again, in the dirt, on his knees, desperately clutching to Cas' body like it was his last lifeline. Dean glimpsed at Castiel's face, and by God, it was a mistake. He quickly looked up to Sam. 'Dean, the nephilim...', Sam cut off the moment he saw Dean's red, swollen, unseeing eyes, 'Oh my God...' Dean was still staring at him blankly. After a moment he exhaled, looked around and tried to get up without a word, still holding onto Cas. Everything was dirty and slippery, and ugly, and dark, and wet, and cold, but Dean had to stand up, he had to carry Cas inside, it was so cold... He didn't even feel Sam's arms helping him get up. He didn't feel anything. He was awake and unconscious at the same time. He was like a moth, instinctively drawn to the house lights.

*

He spent the night in the room with Cas' body. He recalls Sam trying to talk to him, but he just grabbed the first bottle that he found, chugged it down and passed out on the floor. It wasn't like he wanted to die, but at that moment he didn't want to be alive either. But now. Now was different. No, in a way it was the same. But at the same time it was different. By some unimaginable way this time was worse. Much worse. He always thought that it was impossible for something to be worse than what happened the night Jack was born. Castiel's death three years ago was shocking, unexpected, sudden and fast. This time? Oh, fuck. He was completely devoid of emotions and drowning in them at the same time. He felt absolutely nothing and everything all at once. What just happened has left him completely frozen and paralyzed. His body and his mind were actively refusing to process what he just saw.

And what he just heard.

He was just staring blankly around him, like he was looking for an answer, an explanation, written on the bunker's wall. His phone was buzzing, but he barely gave it a thought. The whole world might as well just end and disappear for all he cared; his own world was just taken away from him seconds ago (or was it hours?), so why, why should he give a damn if the planet kept on turning or not? And there he was, a sobbing mess once again, because he just lost. Again. At this point he should be used to losing, to loss, honestly. And yet this time it hit him harder than ever before. I love you. Goodbye, Dean, echoed in his head over and over again like a mantra, like a curse. Cas' eyes, more blue than ever, looking straight into his own. I love you, goodbye, Dean. I love you, goodbye, Dean, I love you, I love you, I love you. ‘I love you, too, Cas’, he whispered, with his face buried in his hands. I love you, too.

*

'Ready?', Sam's voice was uncertain and a little shaky. What they were about to do was risky and probably stupid as fuck, but— 'Sure', Dean lied. What if it doesn't work, what if something goes wrong, what if he won't find Cas, what if he won't bring him back, what if he comes back without him, what if everything goes terribly wrong... 'Ready when you are.'

It's been some time since they got rid of Chuck. It included Amara and Michael and all the strength they could find. To be quite honest, all the events just mashed up into one big cloudy memory for Dean. He felt like he was existing on autopilot all this time. Bottom line though, they got rid of the omnipotent bastard, got back all the people who disappeared... Well, almost all. But again, Cas wasn't 'people'. With all the help they could get, they finally crafted a spell to open up a portal to the Empty. Fine, not they, it was mostly Sam, Jack, Charlie and Eileen combining forces to read through all Rowena's spells and grimoires. Dean, on the other hand, spent most of his time locked in his room, not daring to hope.

And not being able to look at Jack. It was impossible but somehow happened anyway. The kid looked like a younger version of Cas, minus the hair. Every time he glimpsed at him, he felt his heart breaking yet again. And it was not just the looks. The last time Cas died was the night Jack was born. Dean looked at him and couldn't help it - the sight of Cas' dead body on the ground was always there. The burnt wings. And then, the Empty taking Cas. All these memories just rushed over him like a tsunami every time he looked at Jack. It was unbearable.

'I can't do this, Sam', he said one day to his brother, 'I just can't. I can't even think about this. If this thing... If this... Whatever you all are doing... If this eventually doesn't work out, I am not sure I am going to be able to survive this. So I just... I just can't help you with this'. Sam only nodded in agreement, desperate to get Dean out of his room, but at the same time understanding that if they don't find a way to open up the portal to the Empty, then all he was doing was giving Dean false hope.

And they already had Dean on suicide watch.

So, each day they buried themselves in the books, spells and lore, working as hard as they could to find anything that could help. Occasionally they caught a glimpse of Dean's shadow on his way to the kitchen or bathroom. Sometimes Dean even stood in the library's door for a minute or two, stared at them with a bottle is his hand, like he was anticipating. All they could give him was a reassuring smile. At the beginning they tried hugs, but Dean never let them touch him. It was like every touch hurt him. Little did they know, everything hurt.

After some time, they finally got a breakthrough. At the beginning they didn't tell Dean, but things finally started working out and the spell was ready in no time. Jack and Charlie were just high-five'ing each other, and they were all about to discuss who is going to get through the portal, when Dean appeared in the door. 'What is happening?', he asked quietly, and suddenly there was absolute silence. Everyone looked at Sam. 'I...', he finally grunted, 'I am not sure if you want to hear this'. 'Try me.' Sam took a deep breath. 'We... We found a way to open a portal to the Empty.' Dean blinked and then closed his eyes. 'Are you sure?' Everyone looked at each other, not daring to say a word. 'Yes, Dean', Sam finally said, 'We are sure.' 'Where is it', Dean whispered. 'Where's what?' 'Where's the portal', Dean said again, through his teeth, eyes still closed. 'We... We haven't opened it yet. We we just about to—' 'Do it. Now', Dean's eyes were now piercing through Sam. 'Dean—' 'Now.'

And here they were now, in front of an opened portal to nothingness. Dean's eyes were completely focused on the darkness. 'Dean... Remember. It stays open for an hour', Sam said, unsure if Dean was even listening to him. But Dean was, in fact, listening, the thing though? He couldn't care less. If he gets stuck, he gets stuck and stays there. It didn't matter. His life lately wasn't much different from what he was seeing right now in front of him. 'Yeah, sure', he muttered, and stepped inside.

*

It was... Dark. Not like Amara-dark. It was just all black. It was nothing. No right, no left, no up, no down. He was standing and floating at the same time and the feeling was... Honestly? It was liberating. He looked around but all he saw was, ironically, nothing. The silence was actually calming, though. He wouldn't mind staying. After all, one thing he was sure of — Cas was there, somewhere. Cas. The thought made his heart beat faster. Blood was pumping through his veins and he was suddenly starting to feel again. He blinked and tried to focus, steadying his breath. Cas. Cas was there somewhere. Well, this whole thing is at least worth a try. If he doesn't find him, he will simply stay here. An hour, Sam said. Dean looked at his watch, confused. 50 minutes left, he estimated and looked around.    But there was still nothing to be seen. 'Cas?!' he yelled in a raspy voice, 'Cas?!' His voice, his breath and his hands were shaking. 'Cas?!' he cried out once again. And again. And again. And again, and again, and again. He didn't know when he started to run around, more and more desperately, but it was dark, it was so dark and his voice was completely scratched from yelling, and it was cold, and there was no Cas, and he was all alone and— 'Castiel?!', Dean called as loud as he could, feeling the tears in the corner of his eyes, because damn it, when and why did he let himself believe that he can find Cas in this emptiness? At this point his whole body was shaking, and he heard a quiet sob escaping his mouth. But he also heard something else. At first he thought he made that rustle, somehow. But then he heard it again, and this time he didn't even move a single muscle. He didn’t even dare to breathe. He exhaled, very, very slowly. And even slower, he turned around. And then he saw it. A figure surrounded by light composed of every colour he ever saw. He had to squint his eyes; the light, albeit beautiful, was blinding. And he could swear he saw it before. Because he did. It was the last thing he saw before waking up in a coffin, what seemed like forever ago. It took him a second to recognize it, but once he did, the feeling of familiarity and safety surrounded him completely and all he could do was stare at the figure getting closer, and closer, and then all those feelings were replaced with just one — the long anticipated feeling of relief. 'Cas', he mouthed almost without a sound, scared to close his eyes, too afraid that the light and the figure were merely an illusion, about to disappear. But after he blinked, it was all still there. And it was Cas, his Cas; the dumb, self-sacrificing idiot whose absence made Dean's life completely numb and pointless and unlivable. He wanted to run to him, to wrap his arms around him and never let go. He was shaking more than ever, but somehow managed to take a first step towards the light, and then the next one, and the next one, and one more. Oh, God. Cas looked awful. Absolutely terribly. Like he has woken up in a middle of the worst nightmare. He looked confused and scared; no, he looked absolutely terrified. His eyes were unfocused and his steps unsure. And then he saw Dean. He stopped walking, and his eyes widened. His mouth opened in disbelief. He looked petrified. 'What...', he whispered fearfully, 'How...' 'Cas', Dean's voice broke, 'I'm here' 'You're not supposed to be in here' Castiel said, now completely frightened, looking straight into Dean's eyes. After a moment he started to frantically look around. 'Look, I don't know how, or why...' 'What?!', Dean cut him off, blinking away the tears, 'Why?! Why as in why I'm here?! Are you serious...' 'Dean', Cas didn't let him finish, 'Are you even real?' he added quietly and softly. Dean felt blood rushing to his head; he suddenly was in a fight mode once again, starting to feel everything all at once - the anger, the fear, the pain; like after weeks of being numb his mind decided to unleash every emotion a human being can possibly feel. No. Not now, Dean thought, Now focus. Focus, he told himself but his eyes were feasting on the sight of Cas, his Cas, like he was a blind man who suddenly was able to see for the first time in his life.  'Cas. Cas, we have to go. We have to go', he said, desperately 'I— I don't know how much time we have left, I—', I don't even know now where is the fucking portal, he thought. 'We need to go', he said instead with a broken voice. 'Dean, I—' But Dean had enough. He reached for Cas' arm, grabbed it and started walking. Towards the portal, hopefully. 'Dean—', Castiel’s voice was very weak, 'Dean. Dean!' 'What now?', Dean finally stopped to look at Cas. He looked like he was just chewed up and spat out by a cow, but once Dean’s eyes landed on him, he just couldn’t stop looking. Man, I thought I’m never going to see you again, he thought and exhaled. 'We really gotta go, Cas’. But Castiel was staring at him like he just received a revelation, like a man lost in the desert who saw an oasis after days of being burned by the sun and deprived of water, like— 'What if it doesn't work?' Cas said quietly and closed his eyes. When he opened them, they were full of tears. No. Not again, Dean thought. 'Cas. Cas, look. Cas, look at me', he cupped his face, so he could stare directly into Cas’ eyes. 'We had that conversation, remember? In purgatory. And that conversation is over', he said, maybe a little bit too harshly. 'Although there is another one that is not over. Far from over, actually', he added more softly. Cas was looking at him, anticipating. 'Dean, I... What I said...' 'I heard what you said. And now we need to go. Understand?' 'Yes', Cas said after a while, 'I understand.’

[demonicseries]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Supernatural Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester Characters: Castiel, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Jack Kline, Chuck Shurley, Vladimir Putin Additional Tags: Crack, crack!fic, 15x18 coda, Fix-It, Happy Ending, Humor, Vladimir Putin ships destiel, 15x18 Summary:

Dean just lost Cas, but him and Sam somehow still have to kill god.

[adsp-destielcockles]

Beautiful 15x18 coda story on Twitter

[misha-moose-dean-burger-lover]

I'm in desperate need of 15x18 codas. I've read all of yours obviously - they were so soft, I loved them! Do you have any recs/favs?

ahh, thank you, that's so lovely of you!! and yeah, I think I might have some for you. (I'm not the best at keeping track of recs, but I'll keep adding onto this list as I come across more, okay?) for now —

it's not different, sam by @writtenmemxries is one of the most heartbreaking codas I've read about the aftermath of 15x18

left ajar by @rambleoncas is about dean & jack, and is just generally the definition of pain, I love it

@irrlicht-ghostfront wrote an angsty 'dean processing his feels' coda here

this is @cursed-or-not being a blessing, and giving us a happy ending <3

here's a coda by @theangelwiththewormstache which is a very interesting, different version of the episode's ending!

@irrlicht-ghostfront also wrote this heartbreaking coda about sam in this episode, and it's really good :'(

@quicksilver-ships wrote this with dean telling sam, and a dash of pain <3

[jemariel]

hi!! lead me home was the comfort i n e e d e d💕 it was so lovely and well written💖 thank you so much for sharing it💓

You’re so welcome, I’m really glad it worked for you <3<3<3

[fic link]