#spn + cosmic hierarchy

[shallowseeker]

Amelia Novak + the wreckage of my family

Sometimes I think about Amelia Novak's 10x20 line of trying to put her family back together.

Amelia Novak, trying valiantly to protect Jimmy, after realizing he wasn't lying about the demonic world he'd gotten mixed up in. Although it was ultimately Jimmy who invited the Devil in, she perhaps thinks she'd failed to support him when he needed her the most. This guilt propels her into further ruin. (Images courtesy IMDB)

In SPN 10x20, Angel Heart, we get this:

AMELIA (tearfully): I was dreaming. This whole time, I was dreaming... of finding Jimmy, of putting my family back together. You're not him anymore. I can tell. CASTIEL: No. AMELIA: Where's Jimmy? CASTIEL: Your husband is in heaven. Amelia, I promised to protect your family, and I failed. AMELIA: Not if Claire's alive. She's all that matters. CASTIEL: Claire is alive. She's grown up to be a very strong-willed young woman. AMELIA: Oh, that's my girl. I just ... I shouldn't have ever left her. I-I thought if I could find Jimmy, I would make everything right. But I should've never left her. I shouldn't ... I shouldn't... (Amelia breaks down crying and Castiel embraces her)

You see Amelia...never stopped wanting to fix it. Like as it is with Dean (the symbolic mechanic), her devotion is marked by coming back together even after you've unimaginably failed one other. Like in SPN 7x17 The Born-again Identity:

CASTIEL: We didn't part friends, Dean. DEAN: So what? CASTIEL: I deserved to die. Now, I can't possibly fix it... So why did I even walk out of that river? DEAN: Maybe to fix it. Wait.

Sometimes, you are granted second chances, and sometimes, you are not.

Ultimately, both Jimmy AND Amelia fall prey to angels, and there is no second chance for them. It isn’t fair. It sucks. Faith can be a double-edged sword. Lo, faith in angels can be a triple-bladed dagger. It's a tragic thing.

And like when Dean touches a winged pony and sings along to Air Supply's "All Out of Love," and like Dean when searches desperately for Cas in Purgatory, Amelia is looking for Jimmy, desperately wanting to find him. Because she is consumed by regret and guilt. She feels like she did not support him when he needed her the most.

And what would you say if I called on you now And said that I can't hold on? There's no easy way, it gets harder each day Please love me or I'll be gone I'll be gone <Dean starts mouthing along> … I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without youI know you were right believing for so long I'm all out of love, what am I without you?I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong…  Oh, what are you thinking of? <Sam, witnessing something unbearably private for his brother, awkwardly cuts the radio off>

///

In SPN 10x20, Angel Heart, we see that Amelia falls prey to Grigori.

This Grigori lures her with the illusion of the repair of her family. Just as Jimmy fell prey to the Heavenly warrior-class of Angel, who lured him with the promise of glory of purpose and the promise of protection for his family from the Apocalypse. (That's why we pray to gods, isn't it? To become under their holy protection?) But Grigori are a disturbing revelation about the truth of not just Grigori themselves, but the symbolic truth of angels as a whole, as well as their place in the predatory rank of the cosmic hierarchy, (at least in comparison to humans).

DEAN: Grigori. (Scene changes back to Sam walking through the house gun drawn and ready walking away from the kitchen doorway. We hear Dean say ‘The watcher angels’ as Holloway appears in the shadows of the open doorway. Scene changes back to Dean and Claire at the hotel) CLAIRE: So are they good or bad? DEAN: Well, some of the lore says that they, uh, they help people, and some says that they prey on people.

///

HOLLOWAY: I'm a Grigori. A watcher angel. SAM: Since when do angels feed on humans? HOLLOWAY: Since the dawn of man. SAM: What are you talking about? HOLLOWAY: Your souls... (Holloway walks behind Sam and Sam hides the nail in his hands) Are little slices of heaven that are, if properly kept, delicious meals that can last for years, decades even. SAM: You're not an angel. You're a monster. (Holloway laughs and reaches out to lightly punch Sam on the shoulder) HOLLOWAY: Ahh. (We see Sam’s hands using the nail to open the handcuffs) I prefer to think of myself as a gourmand. I make heaven a place on earth. Keeps me alive and hidden from the rest of the failures that call themselves angels. SAM: Oh, they are failures? Yeah, 'cause you're living so large in your own life. (Holloway turns around quickly and draws his sword on Sam so that it is pointing directly at Sam’s face) HOLLOWAY: There were hundreds of us, but now... (Holloway raises the sword up to show an inscription on the blade) Each of our names inscribed on our swords. A brotherhood of perfectly crafted, engineered beings sent to protect you pathetic, bottom-feeding disasters.

///

Amelia cannot repair the ghostly specter of her perfect family. But she can save what's left of it.

HOLLOWAY: You know there's no fixing her, right? (Claire drops Amelia and aims her gun at Holloway. She shoots him four times in the chest. On the fifth shot the gun clicks, as if it’s empty. Claire shoots several more times with the same result. Holloway shakes his head and walks towards Claire, Angel sword in hand) HOLLOWAY: You really think that's gonna hurt an angel of the Lord? (Holloway moves to strike Claire and Amelia jumps in between them) AMELIA: No! Aah! (Holloway stabs Amelia straight through the chest and then pulls out the sword. Amelia falls to the ground and Claire kneels behind her, holding her up. Holloway looks on, smirking) CLAIRE (crying): Mom! Mom! Mom!

Dean, too, tried to save what was left of his family. With John gone, he followed in his father's footsteps, reaching for the protection of the child at his own expense.

"I was dreaming... of finding Jimmy, of putting my family back together."

And that's sort of what Sam & Dean are doing the whole time, and why he and Sam both hang in this terrible ghost of arrested development. They're reaching for this broken, idealized childhood that they were denied. They crave that lost, nebulous ghost of stability and trust.

“Fixing” is admirable; it's a sign of devotion. But it can also foolhardy when carried to extremes. Sometimes, you get second chances, and sometimes you do not.

There's no perfect answer. Only...

...that hope is so very, very human.

[shallowrambles]

Hunter Heroici haunts me, because it says chasing happiness can’t be solely about running away

i.e. you have to face your actions and integrate the good and the bad parts of your psyche

Apple Pie Life for Sam is, in this view, a meager half-life, a false “Charming Acres” wrapped in golden hues, like a happy gas that blots out all the harder parts of living. Compared to Hunting, the Romanticized Home Life is The Balm of Escape.

And in this same episode, we have Cas goofing off with the whole “becoming a hunter and interrogating the cat” stuff. He’s having a grand ole time and he knows he’s Being Silly with it. Here, the Idealized Hunting with Friends Life is Cas's Apple Pie, The Balm of Escape from brutal soldierhood.

As mirage-home is to Sam, silly-hunting is to Cas. (Here, perhaps Sam & Dean are Cas’s symbolic Ben & Lisa, which is also why he tends to want to shield them from harsh world of Heavenly War.)

The specter of The Apple Pie life, when carried to its extreme, can be a false, idealized happiness. (It's not happiness itself that is the problem. It's that it's not an integrated happiness when it's weighted too far into escapism.) This "fantasy-life” is in sharp contrast to the messy business of living your life as your complicated, imperfect self and showing all your warts to those around you.

And yet it’s important to note that the tempting traps of penance & suicide loom large in this season, too...

Dean's blood-donation (coded-as-organ-donation-in-the-form-of-a-cooler) symbolizes his tendency to sustain the life of Others at his own expense; i.e. sustaining Benny’s addiction-in-order-to-keep-him-on-the-straight-and-narrow (and even bearing some of Sam’s parallel struggles)

Dean's simplified Purgatory world of black-and-white kill-or-be-killed (no-mistakes-can-be-made-here-no-one-can-let-me-down-here) is his False Answer to ending the difficult decision-making associated with hunting in a complex world AND maladaptively dealing with disappointment

Cas's staying-behind-in-Purgatory is metaphorical-suicide for what he did to Heaven (and yet, Heaven comes to rescue him; he cannot escape)

Later, Cas's Heaven trials are his False Answer to ending the difficult decision-making associated with Endless Heavenly Wars

And of course, Sam's Hell trials are his False Answer to ending the difficult decision-making associated with hunting in a world overrun with threats

These are ALL different kinds of extremes of “checking out of life,” and they will all learn that this extreme of not integrating both the Good & Bad parts, and of giving up Self to serve Others, is as unsustainable as is diving into the drunken happy kind of escapism.

It's about integration: family + past actions + mistakes + internal wants + personal needs + duty & obligations.

The path to the Apple Pie Life is in obliterating its Romanticization. The path to Penance is in truly valuing the Imperfect Self.

[shallowstories]

Cas + covered in bees, covered in riches

"We live in a "sorry" universe. It's engineered to create conflict. I mean, why should I prosper from... your misfortune? [CASTIEL puts down a marker and moves DEAN’s marker back to the start.] But these are the rules. I didn't make them."

Castiel, despairing over rank and circumstance in Reading is Fundamental 7x21

Deuteronomy 1:44 And the Amorites, which dwelt in that mountain, came out against you, and chased you, as bees do, and destroyed you in Seir, even unto Hormah.

Isaiah 7:18 And it shall come to pass in that day, that the Lord shall hiss for the fly that is in the uttermost part of the rivers of Egypt, and for the bee that is in the land of Assyria.

Judges 14:8 And after a time he returned to take her, and he turned aside to see the carcass of the lion: and, behold, there was a swarm of bees and honey in the carcass of the lion. 

"In other words, the honey in the carcass is symbolic of a sign post along the intended plan, that Samson – who is on his way to take the Philistine woman (contrary to laws and customs in Judaism) nevertheless, serves God’s purpose. 

Honey is kosher and is eaten by Jewish people during important Jewish traditions and customs.  Despite the fact that the bee is seen as an ‘unclean’ animal, the honey itself is only made by bees, not derived from them (i.e. honey is made by bees from nectar).

Given this fact, if honey can be considered clean, despite coming from an unclean animal..."

buzzaboutbees.net

[naruhearts]

That being said, I’ve calmed down a bit (jk NOT REALLY!!!!!!!). 15x18 will be absolutely pivotal and story-changing in terms of realizations, regrets, character arcs waxing and waning and waxing to like, their biggest ultimatums ever...I have so many words that I don’t have time to fit in one post.

We’ve adored the Found Family Sam and Dean have grown to cherish: a non-nuclear found family that mirrors positive change, self-actualization, and interpersonal vigor in each other. Love and...love. 

Love, in all its forms, truly will conquer all. 

Next week’s episode is gonna hurt us, folks. We’re in the actual, literal, raw, unadulterated endgame now. Next week may change everything we thought we knew about the characters and relationships we love, or better yet, magnify our appreciation for them tenfold. I have to say, my stomach is a bottomless pit of anticipation, COMPLETE TERROR, and excitement, mish-mashed together. 

Most of all, I have to say this: Dean and Cas are meant for each other, in every world, in every place, in every year, in every lifetime. The angel afraid of falling and the man afraid of flying caught each other, intertwined unpredictably, to throw cosmic authorities and hierarchies off course. 

Free will is love. Love is free will. Love isn’t bound by anything, isn’t trapped nor suppressed by universal rules. It doesn’t exist in a singular vacuum. It controls and frees itself. Love ebbs and flows and transcends even “the veil of death and saves the day.”

I thought this specific passage from ReKnew (a Christian website) was fitting (and one doesn’t need to subscribe to Christian beliefs to read this. It’s really relevant): “Love can only be genuine if it’s freely chosen. Which means, unless a personal agent has the capacity to choose against love, they don’t really have the capacity to choose for it...[i]n a world that is centered on love, even God can’t be guaranteed to always get what he wants.” 

It’s now up to the writers to see them through appropriately. We’ll finally know if Team Free Will get a good, more-than-palatable, positive ending (especially one we never expected) full of life and love in the next urgent final weeks of SPN on air, and holy fuck, do I love you all for being in this with me. <3

- Mon

[runawaymarbles]

Fanfics With Epic Worldbuilding

This reddit thread got me thinking about epic fics that take canon and expand it in incredible, thoughtful ways-- some that seem seamless, and like they could be canon if the creators had gone in another direction, and also alternate universes with very cool canon integration. So. On that note. Here’s some of my absolute favorites. (And feel free to let me know some of yours.) 

(More rec lists here) 

The Changeling & Armistice, by @annerbhp | Harry Potter | 180k, 320k  Ginny is sorted into Slytherin. It takes her seven years to figure out why.

This is the best take on Slytherin house, and especially women in Slytherin house, that I’ve ever seen. Features: traditions, mythology, history and types of magic that aren’t part of the canon universe but feel like they should be. (And a cast of wonderful original or almost-original characters.) 

 A Curious Carriage of Crystal and Cold by @etharei | X-Men | 115k  Charles, a miner from a poor village in the countryside, saves the life of Erik Lehnsherr, scion of a successful business family and the richest man on the planet Eisen. Charles is a telepath and somewhat anxious about it, while Erik abstains from relationships because the lights flicker and doors open and electronics vibrate when he gets too excited. Also featuring a long-suffering sister, a foul-mouthed bodyguard, and a best friend with a heart that is definitely not gold.In which there are princes, spaceships, long journeys, and old secrets uncovered

This is just. A whole sci-fi world. Class structure, different forms of etiquette, government structure, real history, fake history, and practical considerations about toilets in space. 

 The Eden!Verse, by @improbabledreams900​ | Good Omens | 550k  Picking up where canon leaves off, [the] Eden!verse chronicles Aziraphale & Crowley's adventures through great losses, gains, and life's cosmic curveballs. From a village on Earth to Heaven, Hell, and Eden itself, Aziraphale and Crowley make many new friends, learn God's plan for them, and discover what it means to love each other. 

The first fic in this series is relatively self contained, but by the second one it’s exploring heaven, expanding on biblical canon and the laws and hierarchy of angels, and weaving lots of different theological and mathmatical theories together. The plotting is so good it makes me want to cry. Also, the original characters are fantastic. 

 Home Out in the Wind by @bomberqueen17​ | Star Wars (Sequel Series) | 320k Poe gave up a lot of things when he defected to the Resistance, but there's always more to lose. War is an expensive lifestyle. You've got to keep your affairs in order and do the best you can with what you have. He owes this former Stormtrooper a life-debt, and beyond that he knows the kid's exceptional, so he's going to do everything he can to get the kid a fair start in this messy business. Finn wakes up and has no idea what to do beyond joining the Resistance, but he knows he’s got to keep up with Poe somehow. 

Dameron family history! Lore, history and culture that’s so well integrated that I had to do some Googling to make sure it wasn’t already Star Wars canon! Other planets! Drugs! Songs! Original characters I would pledge loyalty to forever! The most well-developed OT3 I’ve seen in this fandom! (There’s also a second series, The Lost Kings, about Shara and Kes.) 

The Lay of Looking-Glass Land by KL_Morgan | The 100 | 175K Clarke wakes up wearing the tattoos of the Ice Nation. (OR: Soulmates, parallel worlds, and Ice Queen Clarke; oh my. Canon divergent from 2x16.)

Intricate! Rituals! Grounder lore and mythology! And a wonderful what-if ‘verse being explored more in the sequel.

Pantheon, by Yahtzee | X-Men | 130k  In the year 96 AD, all Rome is aware that their gods have begun to Mark certain people with their gifts -- the healing power of Apollo, the metal control of Vulcan, the deathly touch of Pluto, or the mental powers of Minerva. When those gifts fall to slaves or barbarians instead of the Romans themselves, strict control is necessary. Then a gladiator from Judea meets an enslaved scribe from Britannia, and the repercussions will shake the Empire itself.

An amazing integration of X-Men canon into Roman mythology and life, re-imagining of mutations, and epic scale. You could make a religion out of this. 

Honorable Mention: 

All Things Shining by Askance and Standbyme | Supernatural | 140k  Something in the world is waking up.It isn’t long before it’s brought to the attention of the Winchesters and Castiel: miracles are spreading across the country, the paranormal seems to be shrinking back on itself—and it all has something to do with the missing prayer book of a traveling preacher who died over a century ago. Dean is convinced it’s all the lead-up to another Apocalypse; Sam and Castiel aren’t so sure. Regardless, it sends them out on a less-than-typical road-trip, following the Mississippi and remnants of a very old story that seems increasingly to call to them. And along the way the trio learn much more about themselves—and the consequences and origins of love—than they’d ever have anticipated.

I last read this fic in 2013, but I remember loving the religion that it created. It’s got a lovely fairytale/folklore vibe. And a mythological crack ship that’s... strangely beautiful. Putting it in the honorable mentions because I don’t remember how it ends. 

Redemption Road by multiple authors | Supernatural | 650k  Redemption Road is a fan-generated, large-scale AU project created by members of the SPN and Dean/Castiel fandoms.

This is another one I read once in 2013, but it also had some pretty spectacular expansions of Supernatural mythology, and lovable original characters. It’s set up like a season, with episodes and subplots. 

[why-this-kolaveri-machi]

spn 15.01

SPOILERS ahead

1. sam’s hair looks especially floofy and nice this season! very season-one-y.

2. a brief google search reveals that belphegor, much like abaddon and asmodeus, is one of the princes of hell. his quippy dialogue is more miss than hit--mostly because it makes him sound like almost every demon that spn has featured over the last fourteen years--but given that he apparently tempts people by offering them shortcuts and generally encouraging them to be lazy? it might actually be an interesting choice to have him quip and spout pop culture references left and right. it’s ~meta, you see.

2.5. ... well, that was an anti-climactic end to the zombie apocalypse that was set up at the end of last season.

3. the callback to bloody mary looks weird because it doesn’t work at all without the... aesthetics of s1, if you know what i mean? when most of the horror these days on spn is more insidious and derives from the cosmic machinations that surround the winchesters, bloody mary looks... tacky, and painted on. 

3.5. how did they get ‘woman in white’ from crashed, bloody car with no body in immediate sight???

4. i’m reminded of 8.22, where crowley steadily killed the people samndean had saved from the early seasons in order to force them to meet him on his terms: it functioned well as a neat bit of nostalgia as well as something with real emotional, personal stakes for the winchesters. the ‘saving people’ bit is all that they have to justify both the crap that they have done and gone through. but these call-backs so far... are far more transparent calls to nostalgia, a neat season-by-season retrospective where the audience can clap their thigh and go, ‘oh shit is that the killer clown from s2′s everybody loves a clown??’

4.5. BUT. this is also chuck upending the table and throwing all the pieces on the ground, half-tempting and half-taunting samndean with reminders of how and why they started doing what they did. it’s fanservice, but acknowledging it as fanservice is crucial to the plot of this season. AGH.

5. belphegor is aggressively boring.

i wonder if spn-verse views religion like... a steady progression towards the Truth. like there’s a straight line from ‘primitive’ to... here, where congratulations, you’ve figured god and heaven and hell out, and hey, you got to meet his sister too! in 5.19, a bunch of gods from different ‘dead’ religions got together to try and stop the apocalypse (and were handily defeated by lucifer). but these gods also included hindu deities like ganesha and kali, and i can assure you that hinduism is far, far from being a ‘dead’ religion. but maybe that’s just how it is in spn-verse, where there is an objective God, and an objective way that the universe works. religious myths and deities aren’t abstractions that a critical mass of people decided to believe in, or explanations for how the universe works that’s rooted in their land, their culture, their very blood; these things Exist, and they do so in a hierarchy, and now the winchesters have fought, stabbed and shot their way to the very top.

chuck couldn’t be bothered to write in any kind of nuance for this universe; he’s too pre-occupied with the winchester family drama. eh. makes sense.

6. dean gets to call jack “[their] kid”. oh okay. coolcoolcoolcool. so we aren’t going to address the fact that he wanted to murder jack dead last season because he believed that jack was completely past the point of redemption? we aren’t going to have castiel--the only one of them who wanted to protect jack and give him a chance--say this? coooool, ok, ~~no worries

7. i appreciate all of the cool possibilities arising out of sam’s god-wound: the visions, the fact that he has this connection to their ultimate Big Bad and could (eventually) use it to his advantage. but honestly? i’m exhausted man. i’m exhausted by the idea of something Happening to sam’s personhood without his consent for the eightieth time, and--given castiel’s vision--by the inevitable ‘what’s wrong with sam??’ song-and-dance that’s going to follow. 

8. it’s kinda hilarious and also genius to have all these ghosts creeping about in the middle of the day and in the middle of a neat suburb? and the ghosts running after them, all in a row? LMAO

8.5. the little girl said thank you to sam! and his awkward little nod in response!! ALL YOUR SINS ARE FORGIVEN, SHOW

9. oh fuck did they really end with that shot from the pilot??? i thought that was just something intrepid gif editors came up with! 

... given the endorphin boost that that just gave me, i’m clearly not immune to Show’s repeated appeals to nostalgia.

10. so... that’s that. kind of dull for a premiere, leave alone the Very Last One. barely skimmed over the most exciting things that 14.20 set up. still: cautiously excited for the rest of the season.

[castielmode]

just realised what bothers me about the cosmic system(s) in spn is that it's just all hierarchies of power, and not particularly interesting ones! when they do have the opportunity to make it interesting, they shy away from it bc it's too much pressure

[nerdylittleshit]

Thoughts about Spn 12x12

SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS!

Man, I loved this episode. What a treat. I really feel like the second half of the season is stepping up in its game. Though I think this season had in general some really strong episodes, but towards the end of the first half I got a bit bored. But that is maybe because I think the whole Lucifer-story is done. And yes I know in a way this story brings us back to Lucifer, but in an unexpected and so far quite interesting way.

Before the episode aired we already suspected it would be an hommage to Tarantino (and well, I just saw a couple of his movies and that is years ago, so someone smarter than me please makes a post listing all the Tarantino references). What I expected was a random motw-case told in an unsual perspective/structure. And though we got the latter one, Davy Perez also surprised us with a really interesting case and some new mythology, a Crowley retcon and the return of an old friend. Well played.

I feel like espcially the new writers this season (Perez, Yockey, Glynn) did their homework. They know their stuff when it comes to the mythology of the show, but aren’t afraid to add new stuff (Yockey did this with the angel mythology in 12x10, and here we have Perez giving us new stuff about demons). And unlike some writers who just change the mythology in a way that it fits their story *cough* Bucklemming *cough* they do in a smart way, that doesn’t change the story the way we know it, but adds something to our perspective and makes it more complex. I think this is the advantage when you come to a show that already has twelve years of mythology build up: you don’t need to create something new but rather can go back and add something new to something old. I also feel that the new writers are fandom savvy. Stuff like Cas in a female vessel (or in general Cas’s past) or bringing back the Colt is I think a nod to the fandom. Those are the things many fans yearned to see. And of course there is always a thin line between telling your story and fanservice, but they added these things well enough into their actual stories to say it is just pure fanservice.

But now, let’s get to the actual story (I only remembered half of the title cards and tumblr couldn’t provide me with my need, so there you go).

Prelude:

Just as in 12x09 we see one of the British MoL speaking direct to the camera, though it is Mr. Ketch this time, not Mick. This again makes him the narrator of the story in a way, or as others speculated the stand in for the showrunner (just as Chuck was for Kripke and Metatron for Carver). The focus here is right on the storytelling part. Which makes sense because the actual story is told from different perspectives, which is something that I love (and just in general whenever Spn tells a story from a different perspective).

I think there is already plenty of meta about the dinner scene and the waitress and Cas and Dean’s reaction, which I haven’t read because I am awfully behind on my dash, but I won’t go in detail in here. But if anyone thought of it as a “no homo” I just kindly remind them of the giant “yes homo” that we get at the end of the episode. Either way, I like to believe that Mandy wasn’t just into Cas because he is, as I may quote one Dean Winchester, “devastatingly handsome”, but because they both are science nerds who know cheese isn’t a carb. Also, Cas is yet again associated with the sun (a sunrise special for our Mr. Sunshine). And Dean trying to teach Cas how to flirt reminded me a lot of 9x06 and Dean trying to prepare Cas for his date, aka the gayest episode ever. (Also, Cas stop sniffing the waitress)

I’m kinda indifferent when it comes to Wally, mostly because we didn’t know him enough (still he deserved better). I was wrong in my speculation there would be something shady about him. That was all on Mary. And I already expected he wouldn’t make it out alive in this episode, but I thought he would have lasted longer. It was also interesting to see that appearently he never dealt with demons before. I mean they pretty much walked the earth since season 3 (thanks to Sam & Dean) and we are so used to them I thought it was unlikely to find a hunter who hasn’t dealt with them. Also, did Crowley inform his guarding demons not to kill the Winchesters? It doesn’t seem like that.

Bonus: Mary finally using her mom voice. 

The Wounded Angel:

We start with Cas listening to the radio and it is very intersting what we hear:

Man on radio: Each of us has a time when the physical body dies and we all face God's judgment in the end. There's not one of us alive walking on this earthly plane that will not pay the consequence for their actions. The Lord will hold us in the palm of his hand and he'll weigh our souls. Brothers and sisters, are you worthy?

This refers to Cas in many ways. He almost dies in this episode. We are again reminded of consequences that follow actions, one might say cosmic consequences. And of course the question if Cas is worthy, which I think the episode answers really well in showing us the love and support of his family.

Wally doesn’t seem to be surprised that Mary has two adult sons who are technically older than her, and later she tells him that technically she is her 60s, so I guess he knows her story. I don’t know how common it is for hunters to come back from the dead (because the Winchesters are not the standard), but even then coming back after 33 years is very unlikely. And again this is the same guy who never met a demon before. And who learns that Winchesters never joke when they talk about Lucifer’s child. Poor Wally. (Also “ Keep a lookout. Don't die.”, you had one job Wally, one job.) Of course the demon turns out not be a demon (or at least not an average demon) because that would be to easy. But when Mary saw the yellow eyes I thought for a moment the demon had the special power to make people hallucinate their own worst nightmare (and based on the promo Cas would have seen the Leviathans inside him again).

And of course, of course it is Dean who immediately goes to the wounded Cas. Not surprised at all.

Mother Mary:

Wally: “It all sounds swell, but someone walks up to you and offers you something that sounds a little too good to be true? I wonder, what's the catch?”

This already confirms that Mary made a deal with the devil when she agreed to work with the British MoL. We already know what the catch is, because the British MoL don’t hestitate to even kill humans if they get inconvenient and kill absolutely everything supernatural, even innocents like Magda in 12x04. And this will bite them in the ass with their angel best friend and the Winchester family tradition to become inconvenient.

Still, the question remains how much Mary is to blame for the events of this episode. We know she thinks she is doing the right thing, but we already know this is how half of the apocalypses started in Spn. Didn’t they get her the collector’s edition of the Winchesters gospels? And I think she knows there is something shady about them, otherwise she would have just told her sons about her working with the British MoL. And Dean even mentions that they almost killed Sam, so Wally might wonder what changed her mind.

I think Mary’s way of hunting is rather pragmatic. The good she can do with the help of the British outweighs any kind of consequences (and this again parallels her with Cas: they both have consequences for their actions waiting for them). She asks Sam since when is life about getting what you want. Mary wanted out, but hunters never get out. She wanted a normal life for her sons, but they turned out to become hunters anyway. So what can she do? The best in a horrible situation: saving as many people as she can. Entrance the MacGuffin (I think the light was purely a Tarantino reference and the Colt didn’t all of sudden starting glowing). The safe is hidden behind an image of Michael fighting Lucifer (with his lance?). They both are mentioned, the lance and Lucifer even appear. Regarding Mary though I wonder how much she knows about her sons status as the archangels vessels? Does she know that cupids set her and John up just to breed the perfect vessels? How much does she know in general about her sons lifes? In 12x09 Dean mentioned the prison cell was worse than hell and she didn’t blinked so I guess she knows about that as well.  The segment ends again in the barn, this time with Dean and Cas’s dialogue. Dean keeps his distance to a wounded Cas, doesn’t even touch him, which is unusual. Is it because Mary is around?

Mr. Crowley:

Entrance the king of hell and some new shiny mythology. I think the name Ramiel almost sounds like an angelic name. Did Lucifer use it to spite God? Also, all the old demons have names, whereas the average demons seem to borrow their vessels name (Meg) or might keep their human name (Ruby). I wonder though where Crowley got his name from. I bet from Aleister Crowley and our Crowley thinks he is super clever like that. Anyway, princes of hell. Are they above the knights of hell? If so Abaddon believed them dead or otherwise she would have turned to them to claim their rightfully throne in hell. And it explains her outraged reaction after learning the salesman Crowley became king of hell. Because here is the thing: with Lucifer, Lilith and Azazal gone I thought hell had no longer a clear hierarchy, and Crowley used the chaos and made himself king. But... not so much. Planing, scheming Crowley never planed this but it happened accidently instead. Hell, the female demon he had with him almost became queen of hell. And I guess with the title you get the powers but also that Ramiel transfered them to Crowley in a way? Either way, it paints quite a different picture of Crowley. For years I thought of him as the ambitious demon who first made himself king of the crossroads and later king of hell, just to learn he only had luck. That bastard.

So, the lance of Micheal. Kills the bad ones fast and the good ones slow. Of course I thought it would refer to character rather than species (because Cas is anything but good). And just introducing a weapon that could kill Lucifer (and probably his child as well) only to destroy it. I guess it is useless now. But with the return of the Colt we are reminded of all the awesome weapons we had in the show (and that a lot of us fangirled about in the latest meta challenge), but also the disadvantage of a weapon that can kill everything from a writer’s perspective. Because they are just too good to be true, and bring easy solutions instead of conflict. So they either get destroyed or get lost.

We get the confirmation that there are at least two other princes of hell, Asmodeus and Dagon. Ramiel also said Dagon showed an interest in Lucifer’s child, so chances are we might see her this season. I really thought Ramiel would kill Crowley for breaking their deal, and at this point I feel like I’m telling for years now that I think Crowley’s story is done, and with the reveal how he became king it would have been a good end. Also yet another reminder Crowley never underestimated the Winchesters and that is the reason he is still alive. I wonder though if Crowley made another deal with Ramiel. If so it doesn’t seem to matter as Ramiel died anyway.

And that leaves us with Cas, who we first met in a barn and who is now about to die in one as well. *slowlytearsup*

Something something barn: (yes, that was the exact title of that card)

*startscryingforreal*

Just everything about this scene was so beautiful.

“Thank you. Knowing you, it... it's been the best part of my life.”

Can you imagine how old Cas is, all the wonders he had seen, he had created, everything about this powerfull alien being and yet, spending what seemed to him only seconds with those humans was the best part of his life. I can’t.

“And the things that... the things we've shared together, they have changed me.”

Ok, just everybody look at the way Mary looks first at Cas, then at her sons. Thank you for this very ambiguous sentence and giving Mary Winchester something to think about what exactly is the kind of relationship her sons have with the angel.

“You're my family. I love you. I love all of you.”

BE STILL MY BEATING HEART. Finally. Cas adressing them as his family. Cas accepting his place in this family. I love you. I LOVE YOU. On this stupid show where we still can count on one hand how many times our main characters have said those words this is so huge. And it is impossible not to see this from a Destiel perspective. Because they immediately cut to Dean after Cas said this. And the way he says it. “I love you. I love all of you.” Because the second part wouldn’t be necessary if he already meant all of them with his first “I love you”. So it is adressed to a single person. I wonder who it might be.

hint: this guy

“We are fighting. We're fighting for you, Cas.”

And just, it was so important for Cas to hear this. To see his family being with him, fighting for him, risking their lifes to save him. That is the answer to the question if he is worthy.

Another thing: pretty sure her sons told her they killed Azazel with the Colt. So Mary technically knows that thing can kill Ramiel? Why doesn’t she use it? So her secret remains a secret even though her sons are in danger? I doubt it. I rather think, or at least hope that there weren’t any bullets in the Colt, so it was (at least for now) useless. That is the only thing that makes sense for the woman who was ready to sacrifice herself for her sons in 12x09.

If anyone was betting it would be Crowley to save Cas’s life they are probably rich by now. He destroys the only weapon he knows can kill Lucifer to save Cas. And I think it might have been the image of the Winchesters all gathered around Cas, to be with him in his last moments, that made him make this decision. Because deep down Crowley wants such a deep love as well.

I wonder if the grace or whatever it was in Michael’s lance that healed Cas changed him. I recently read some spoilers that Cas would change, some speculated if he would be rebooted again (and forget about Sam & Dean) and for a moment I thought he might did. But for now he seems okay. 

One last thing:

And the MacGuffin is revealved (that is actually not how a MacGuffin works, but never mind). The Colt is back. Now that it is back they will use it. I just wonder who will be the victim? Lucifer’s child? It didn’t work on Lucifer though. Another prince of hell? Crowley? Cas? Mary?

“I lost a friend. I almost lost one of my boys.”

Mary refers to Cas as one of her boys. OMG. We all wondered how Mary would react to Cas, if she might be suspicious about him (hey, I wrote a fic about that), but insted she just adopted him. Or maybe she was just confirmed in her assumption that Cas is her son in law. Either way, I love it. Cas has a mom now.

So Mary threatens the British MoL (and I totally forgot she filed them under “Hobbits” in her phone... Dean is so much her son). I already said they have no mercy killing her whenever they think she is going to become a problem for them.

Everbody and their mother already wrote about that season 12 so far seems like a subversion of season 6 in many ways. Instead of Cas we have Mary now working behind the backs of Sam and Dean. Whereas Cas opens up about his feelings and the three of them (Sam, Dean & Cas) get way better at communication and for once don’t keep any secrets the betrayal comes from a whole different direction. I wonder if the outcome will be the same. I sincerly hope they don’t kill Mary (again). I don’t think Sam & Dean would survive it (and neither would I). In 11x23 Dabb already showed that he wants to go in a different direction than before. Instead of a sacrifice the world was saved through love and understanding and communication. I think Mary will keep her secret for a while, just to create conflict. But that evetually she will come clean to her sons and ask for their help, and not when it is already too late. Please show us that you can to better than in the past show. I’m done with both Crowley’s story and Lucifer’s, so I hope he just stays in his cell and that’s it. I would say I look forward to next week but we get a Bucklemming, so let’s hope for the best instead.

[shallowseeker]

They're the SAME:

Human things are not for us (paraphrasing Hannah)

White picket fence life is not for us (paraphrasing Dean)

[shallowseeker]

Cas and Anael: shared values but polar opposites, in SPN 14x17

Cas, wading through literal garbage with his sleeves rolled up and Anael not even wanting to hold the flashlight

To have so much in common re:humanity, but they are so different and I love that

14x17

[shallowseeker]

You’re someone’s Azazel.

[shallowseeker]

Angelic hedonism, angelic asceticism: Anna and Hannah

Anna and Hannah are a study of two opposites.

///

Anna + dissociating from angel-ness (angelic brutality)

Anna is THE poster child-angel for complete dissociation and non-integration of the angelic self.

"Angels don't feel ANYTHING, so 'being a human' is the only WAY forward; the angel part MUST be torn out."

Interestingly, it's a self-defeating argument. If Anna felt nothing, she'd have never wanted to tear out her grace in the first place. She's horrified by the brutality of angelic instinct.

However, she takes her grace on when people need to be protected! It's very tied up with hyper-masculine-soldier concepts of war, duty, and emotion. Anna walks the path of hedonism but reaches for duty when lives are on the line.

Even when she returns to angelicity, she wants to be connected to her emotions and experience of being human. Subconsciously, she wants to be integrated. She "pulls a few favors" to inhabit the human shape she connected with and that helped her move through the world and understand her emotions and meaning-making.

She was just beginning to balance her sense of past and present when the authoritarian force crushed her progress.

///

Hannah + dissociating from human-ness (angelic emotion)

In season 10, Hannah quickly realizes angels CAN feel things but decides that they really, really shouldn't. She pushes down these emotions (art, love, poetry) and elevates Caroline's above her own.

Although it's wonderfully altruistic, it's also so interesting how Hannah downplays her own emotions in the process. "These emotions aren't for us." Hannah's emotions, in essence, "don't count." Maybe she even rationalized that her feelings for a fellow soldier were just a side effect of inhabiting a body. Hannah reaches for complete dissociation and non-integration of the "human" self, which is really just how she chooses to label angelic emotion. If angels aren't allowed to be emotional, then it's something that has to be characterized as 'human' instead.

"Angels feel SOMETHING, but it pales in comparison to human emotions, so maybe it doesn't count; the human part MUST be abandoned for the greater good."

Hannah swears off 'human' things in order to be her idea of ALL ANGEL, and yet she struggles to do that, even when she participates in the torture of Cas in season 11. Hannah walks the path of asceticism, and it ends for her almost as brutally as it began.

///

Very few angels decide to integrate the angelic self with the concept of "human" emotion. It's why I'll always love Meredith's Good Intentions script. It GETS it.

I think it's so interesting, because season 10 sees Cas tentatively describing himself not as "A" human, but like "LIKE" a human. Then, seasons 11-13 see Cas letting his angel nature shine through. Eventually, he even stops pretending to be nice on cases! We see a return to growly-off-putting Cas. "You think this is funny?" "No, sir."

In trying to integrate his concept of self, he allows himself to showcase his baseline instincts as an angel instead. We stop seeing him grooming and worrying over his appearance in order to "appear more harmless/human." He still shows an interest in human culture and his practice of language (metaphors & sayings), but it feels more comfortable.

I think late season 14 and 15 showcases Cas being more levelheaded in assessing how humans aren't a monolith...and how angels aren't either. He makes great strides (and some backwards progress). Really lovely stuff!

[shallowseeker]

50% of Cas’s parenting is like:

Sweet nephil.

You will be a cute little warrior-hunter, like your human side.

You will watch tv and play with human toys.

You can never be an angel.

Angels are depraved, creature of manifest destruction and holy war.

You will not embody the worst of my legacy.

[shallowseeker]

Your localization of morality often depends on your species, your in-group, your family

Or else a meat processing plant looks horrific. Spiraling down further, chopping up trees and using them as furniture could even be some sort of corpse desecration, depending on how you look at it.

More reasons to love Metatron:

METATRON: Okay, what then?

(Sam looks troubled.)

METATRON: What, did he ”kill a human” or something? (Metatron uses finger quotes.)

(Sam crosses his arms.)

10x10, The Hunter Games

[shallowseeker]

I'm not human

(I'm pretending to be something I'm not)

I need to pick out all the human-angel quotes from the show. It is such a deep chasm, and the concept shows up so much earlier between Dean and Cas than I even realized.

In season 6:

CASTIEL grabs DEAN's wrist and slices his palm. DEAN: Whoa, whoa! Hey! Ahh! Why don't you use your own? CASTIEL: It wouldn't work. I'm not human.

///

I'm thinking too of, "What happened to you, Cas? You used to be human or at least like one." And in Purgatory, "I don't think it'd work for me, Dean. (I'm not human.)"

///

And Meredith's amazeballs Good Intentions 13x09 script about angel instincts specifically, and "pretending to be what he's not."

///

It's something that weighs on him.

It weighs on Dean, too.

///

It's a very special kind of despair, of not only being so different but also of being destined to wind up in different afterlives.

[shallowseeker]

Ok, but when Dean calls the snake "kinda cool," he's talking about Jack.

Dean: Yeah, no. Yeah, I always thought they were kind of cool, though. Jack: (impatiently, shrugging off the compliment) Well, most people think they're dangerous. Dean: Mm. Well, it's not the snake that's dangerous. It's their bite.

Ohhhh, Cas and Dean talking to Jack in 14x15 under the guise of talking to/about the snake is sooooooooo 🥺

Jack is defensive about opening up about his emotions, so the snake becomes neutral ground -> code for Jack himself.

🐍 🐍 🐍 🐍 🐍 🐍 🐍 🐍 🐍 🐍 

AHHHHH! Kill me now.

Cas:

CAS: You've been spending a lot of time with the snake. ("You've been spending a lot of time alone.") ... CAS: How is he? ("How are you?") JACK: I don't think he's feeling well. ("I don't think I'm feeling well.")

///

DEAN:

JACK: I think it's sad. ("I think I'm sad.") ... DEAN: (accepting this, not pushing him) You try bacon? (Jack adds bacon to the pan) DEAN: So does the snake want to take a trip? ("Do you want to take a trip?")