#split hook

[ellstronaut]

not to be that person but fuck

n don’t get me wrong I love smut as much as the next person but I cannot stand meaningless smut. With no substance just mindless sex with no passion or any ounce of affection attached to it. No buildup, no pining, no tension so thick it’s palpable no “fuck why are these jeans glued on” no “clumsiness or characters being awkward because sex is awkward sometimes and intimidating” no characterisation, character development or poking fun in a lighthearted way because

“dino boxers really?”

the way they’d be so unapologetic about it too maybe not even vocal but the look that fucking look that screams “yeah? n what you’re gonna do about it?” or maybe they’re flustered but that’s hot either way because it’s them, it’s their quirk

It’s the little details

The vulnerability? The insecurities—trying something new but being afraid to cross or plunge into unknown territories

but it’s their touch—guidance—that unspoken “you’re safe with me”

Subtle hotness/intimacy man

But yeah sex sells. Let’s be real. It’s a cheap way to get views especially when not mindful of how characters would react in such situations

[crystalpallette]

so I finished side order recently

[humaforever]

There was a time when they were little when Harry, Uma, Mal, and Jay were like the original core four right? Idk why this is so interesting to me but I want a whole chronicle of movies about it thank you.

[sysig]

Softly, slowly, I want to love you anyway (Patreon)

[milesworld96]

Sooo….If Hook is rlly in his Batman era

Y know… you can’t have Batman w out Joker😁😁😁😁😁

[dreamertrilogys]

bisexual friend groups have suffered more than jesus

[formal-frog-shoes]

Gosh i hope its not too pixely. I should really figure out how big tumblrs image size is.

anyways more TwistStuck (? Wonderstuck? WonderTwist?) au

[bloodyknucklesforme]

Slasher Ghoap x reader at 3k words rn and we're barely half way through the first chapter... She's gonna be a long one.

[stiwfssr]

SuperMega - I Love Working Out (Official Music Video)

[hotboiessek]

a good dnd session will have you planning out what to do in the next session a month away

[maeamian]

I don't feel like disputing history with the person who wrote the post I'm subtweeting here, and agree with their larger point mostly, but the Brooks Brothers Riot and US Supreme Court are far far far more responsible for GWB's election than Ralph Nader or the Green party ever was and it's important to me that you, my followers, are aware of this.

[tomwambsgans]

shiv is not the kind of person who can tolerate being unsatisfied, ie the exact thing she laid out on her wedding night to tom: "i'm not a good fit for a monogamous marriage" (at least not when it's to him), but she also feels bad about this because she wants to be in an honest relationship, and pretty much can't because no one who would be okay with what she wants would also be someone she can find any stability with. she was definitely trying very hard, in the months between proposal and wedding, to find the middle ground where she starts dropping hints and making it clearer where she stands without outright saying so, like just enough to feel less like she's outright decieving tom, and also to not drive tom away. i feel like her ideal, and what she would have done if tom didn't outright confront her about fucking around, was a "don't ask don't tell" marriage. much like the one that logan and caroline definitely had. a very english aristocrat sort of... stable adultery. she wanted both her and tom to default to their mutual partnership but be free to go and get whatever else they needed when it was plausibly deniable. to simply keep anything extramarital out of the house and to expertly maintain the veneer.

i also think that, due to her struggle with satisfaction, part of the appeal of tom as a partner was in fact that there would be something missing for him, too. like not nearly enough missing as there was for her, bc she absolutely would not stand for someone straying that far, but... essentially this was my deep dive into why shiv (subconsciously) wanted a gay husband. and ironically/tragically for her, it was just inevitable that in order for a gay man to be both as repressed as he needs to be to wanna be with her and stable enough to be a good partner, he will VERY much tolerate being unsatisfied, and he will make her feel just as bad when he's a pathological monogamist and incapable of straightforwardly pursuing what (who) he wants.

[bikananjarrus]

empire strikes back is really han’s mamma mia moment huh

[milesworld96]

So what I’m understanding is that this is the confirmation of Evilhausen, right?

[firendgold]

Pk now I want to hear tour rant about how Harrydore is bettter than Grindeldore. Bring it 🤣❤️

ohhh, this one's easy. I've been in this fandom on and off since 2006, and seen how Harry, Albus and Gellert were written pre- and post-'Dumbledore closet interview'. cracks knuckles

got to hit you with that readmore though. and it's going to be in two parts. I rambled again. ^^

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(...'rambled' is perhaps an understatement.)

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grindeldore vs harrydore

grindeldore

the tl;dr of the below is the following sentences, and then I'll get into it. My philosophy on gr*ndeld*re extends to all other ships in all other fandoms, especially HP: if it's not an AU and you have to excessively mischaracterize Character A to get them to 'fit' with Character B, then it's not a good ship, canon or not. Albus Dumbledore is quite often mischaracterized in order to 'fit' or 'keep' him with Gellert Grindelwald.

here's my problems with how gr*ndeld*re is most often portrayed:

Inconsistency within canon. JKR is partly mostly to blame for this (because she has contradicted her original 2007 statement in the present day with more interviews in the 2010s and with the Fantastic Beasts movies), but the first problem is: gr*ndeld*re was originally an unrequited ship. The original statement was that Albus was dazzled by Gellert's power, his presence, their similarities, their shared ideals... but That Woman wasn't explicit on whether Gellert ever returned his feelings. But based on her quotes where she says "falling in love can blind you to an extent" and that [Dumbledore] was "terribly, terribly let down" by the result of that whirlwind relationship, I think it's safe to assume that her original idea of Gellert cared far more for seeing his grander plans realized than for the needs and feelings of his 'equal'. And yet... in fandom, they are most often portrayed instead as star-crossed lovers torn apart by 'conflicting ideals'.

The second problem is that in the avalanche of fics and art that have come from The Reveal, the original lesson (/moral...?) behind the reveal of gr*ndeld*re, and how it shaped Albus as an adult, leader, and progressive, just... got lost. Completely lost. The whole point of it was to show that even Albus (supposed 'paragon of goodness' until book 7 showed the fandom that he is a regular human being) can make 'relatable' mistakes like... you know... being friends with a fascist. Being in love with a fascist, even. Thanks to said retcon interviews and the new movies (and even before that tbh) the fandom has since: overexaggerated Albus' new clay feet to the point of bashing him, idolized Grindelwald's red flag traits and ideals to the point where he has become the new "Tom Riddle was just misunderstood!" guy, and twisted that lesson/moral/whatever to mean that actually Albus and Gellert were tragically kept away from each other by an itsy bitsy little difference of opinion. A minor little fight. Casual death of your sick sister. Haven't we all been there?

The fandom diminishing the real reasons why Albus and Gellert eventually clashed, were destined to clash, is bad enough. What's worse is the opposite end. Some Dumbledore-bashing fans go the other way and paint present-day Dumbledore with the same brush as Grindelwald, even going so far as to say he still supports The Greater Good even though his entire character is literally built on being the opposite of the pro-magic, anti-Muggle philosophy. Albus has also been painted in some fics and even meta discussions as someone who 'regrets' his past not because his sister died and his brother is estranged from him, but just because his ex-boyfriend is in prison and he maybe kind of regrets not going full fascist with him. Like... bruh. NO. There are people who ship gr*ndeld*re just because they feel like Grindelwald, the worst dark wizard in the world, the reason why Voldemort is only a minor league little lord in comparison, is an appropriate "punishment" for the character they already dislike and thus misinterpret. (Side note: I'm not sure if I'm in a worse hell watching Albus' character get whitewashed for fascism or demonized so he can be a miserable lonely gay.)

Albus diminishes himself to meet Gellert's needs. An in-universe problem this time instead of a meta/RL one: Albus and Gellert were lovers, yes, but in order to be so, Albus had to actively start neglecting his siblings (since in Aberforth's words he was 'doing all right' taking care of them before Gellert showed up) and leaning more into anti-Muggle sentiment. He put all his energy into what for most of the magical world was a wild goose chase after some fairy-tale items. (Remember, most wixen don't give a shit about the Deathly Hallows, or think they're even real.) He became the person Gellert needed/desired most. Albus became a version of himself that he despised later in his life and after his death.

Relationships often include the members changing, and it's easy for even the most devoted partners to fall out of love if they change and are now too different from one another, or one person changes and the other... doesn't. After Ariana died, Albus chose to become a different person and champion the same people he and his family once despised. He chose to stay away from Gellert, whether he called it cowardice or principles or whatever else. And his choice put him in conflict with Gellert, who at sixteen refused to change course or rethink his ideals even when his choices led to the death of a magical person (the type of person he supposedly prizes above all others). His magical boyfriend's magical sister, even. And we see no sign that Gellert changed, repented, or considered Albus until decades later, at the very end of his life—far too late.

Healthy relationships require give-and-take, sacrificing for your partner in things big and small. For high-stakes relationships like Albus and Gellert's (queer in the 1800s, sweet Merlin), that is even more true. During that steamy summer of 1899, it was Albus who did all the sacrifcing/giving and Gellert who did all the taking. Gellert may have entertained the idea of bringing Ariana along on his quest with Albus (we don't know), but Aberforth was right to say that it would have been torture for her—and no alternate idea was brought up that would prioritize the wellbeing of Albus' siblings while he was away. And in the moment of required reciprocity when Albus was at his lowest, Gellert left him behind and went off to go rule the world. Not even the most diehard shipper can argue against the fact that when Ariana died, Grindelwald left.

This problem is even more personal/biased than the other ones. Albus and Gellert parted ways in 1899. They didn't see each other again until the duel in 1945 (because fuck Fantastic Beasts, the scripts don't even make fucking sense). Albus defeated Gellert, put him in prison, and then went on living for another fifty-two years. And That Woman expects me to believe that Albus never had a relationship with anyone before Gellert, and never even looked at another wizard afterward? In 52 years, he was one-and-done? He never once fell in love with other people, whether or not he fully trusted them/let them in? Be serious. Pull the other one. It's not realistic, and it doesn't speak to the kind of man Albus Dumbledore is. He may not have found a man to check the same boxes Gellert did, but he wouldn't arguably be looking for someone too similar to his old flame. He might not trust them unconditionally or be the Perfect Partner for them (bc whew traumaaa), but there would be other people for Albus in a realistic Magical Britain (even discounting time travel shenanigans). Before the reveal, the most popular people to ship Albus with were Minerva, Alastor, and Elphias Doge; these options are still arguably more valid. Albus Dumbledore loves love, he champions love, and he doesn't think he deserves it after his sins, but that doesn't mean he wouldn't go looking. It's mind-boggling to me that with all the well-deserved disavowing of JKR following her anti-trans hate (and her shameless pandering to the same people calling her a witch poisoning their children's minds decades ago), that some people still treat her words about Albus and Gellert's relationship and its effects on Albus in particular as gospel. I sure don't. (Especially because she said he became "asexual" after His One Gay Experience when like. That's not. What asexuality is??? And ace gay people exist???) Whether you count the FB movies or not, there are still decades of Albus' life that are a mystery, and I refuse to believe he closed his heart and caged his dick for all of them.

IMPORTANT END NOTE: These observations obviously do not apply to all gr*ndeld*re shippers. Some people genuinely do like both characters, characterize them correctly, and still want to see them together for reasons. I'm not going to judge them. I ship a frigging time travel age gap ship, how the fuck could I. And I'm also aware that a lot of fics/art are made to color in between the lines of what we don't know in the fandom, bringing Albus and Gellert together during the mystery years, or making one wizard better for the other to address all the ship baggage. I just can't join them because of how rarely that occurs (and, admittedly, how much I personally can't see it). You would not believe how many fics and discussions I've seen that lionize Grindelwald and treat Dumbledore like an accessory, or completely mischaracterize Albus' motivations, intentions, and actions, and then put him with "the other Big Bad". UGH.

Most of the time, I see gr*ndeld*re the ship hurting Albus the individual. It's very rare to find an iteration where Albus is not bearing the consequences of Gellert's choices, Gellert's actions, Gellert's mistakes and harm done. I think Albus deserves better than to be Gellert's accessory just because he loved him deeply long ago.

okay. whew. that was a lot.

a character limit prevents me from continuing here, so the second half of this versus will go elsewhere, sorry!

[essektheylyss]

you don't like the inability to go back through the reblog chain because it makes it harder to 'prev tags'; I don't like the inability to go back through the reblog chain because it makes it harder to reblog a version of the post without an annoying comment, especially when some of the blogs involved are deactivated; we are not the same