#spiraled again haha
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uh ohhhh, wanna kms again XD
#spiraled again haha#i wanna kms#ugh fml#could i maybe not for once yk#sad grl#depressing life#txt#988blr#i wanna cvt#i wanna die#i want to curl up and cry#k!ll me please
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the golden ratio
#honestly i treat the distortion as therapy. like yeah the day was shit now come here i have to draw something BEAUTIFUL to function again#i love the distortion so so so so much honestly it's just insane#the very concept of this creature scratches my brain like nothing else💔#there are exactly two things in the world that have ever given me that particular weird surreal _feeling_ and distortion is one of them so.#couldn't appreciate it more haha#thank you for coming to my ted talk#the magnus archives#tma#the magnus pod#tma fanart#tma the spiral#the distortion#tma the distortion#helen distortion#PLEASE STOP TAGGING MY HELEN DISTORTION ART AS MICHAEL DISTORTION..............I JUST LOVE ANDROGYNOUS PEOPLE#and androgynous monsters too apparently#tma helen#the magnus archive fanart
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hey guys asking for prayers again bc i almost kms again yesterday
also pray for my friends who had to hold me hostage until i was ok enough to be on my own again
#i'm being serious#it was not fun#but i am still here so that is good#trying to make it funny haha so i don't start blaming myself and spiraling again#love y'all#wannabe vents#prayer request#catholic#christian#christianity
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Something something jon doodles
I wish they talked more about him as a cartoonist and hopefully maybe one day make a relatable slice-of-life spin off about his daily life about his awkward and zestiness he radiates in which we can all say “he’s so me” in unison
#oh yeah let me use my tumblr again bc i’ve never really used it properly in my life before#proceeds to spiral into arbuckle madness#more like unbuckle those pants amirite haha idk im trying to be funny it’s a joke iM JOKING-#digital art#mellowforests#art#garfield#jon arbuckle#garfield fanart#garfposting#garfield movie#the garfield movie#animation
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don’t you find it odd?
#ghost and pals#ghost-p#pathological facade#kasane teto#vocaloid#only back because I’m sick and spiralling LOL#ok bye again HAHA#ysart#I forgot how to draw so back to the ballpoint pen brush#pills cw
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"I got the feeling that Mr. Yorishima... wanted to give a loquat to Natori, and I got one because I just happened to be there. Yet I got the sweet one. Natori gave Mr. Yorishima a sour face. And I thought there's no winning even in such a tiny thing."
#natsume yuujinchou#matoba seiji#natori shuuichi#horrible exorcists#started thinking about the loquat story out of nowhere again and went into a spiral lol so i doodled this in between other things#something about this story......................and the way hes just like 'oops haha that didnt mean anything. see ya'#NO COME BACK.......#and i thought theres no winning even in such a tiny thing............#i think it's somewhat representative of matoba's mindset that that's what that story is to him#well also it's kind of an allegory for that whole arc#the unintended consequences/burdens of a wish#which matoba is the inheritor of a lot of lol#but in this case i guess he inflicted that on natori. briefly#but even so it comes back to him because it just reminds him that There's No Winning#anyway.
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pretty sure i saw a post that was almost 90% a vauge about me but its literally so stupid i cant stop laughing about it
#boyposting#it was about how people with hard kinks will still hate fauxcest lmao#which ive talked about multiple times#just bc i have a hard kink blog doesnt mean i dont have legitimate triggers#i thought this was the site that basically invented trigger tagging lmfao#and again idrc if youre into fauxcest#i just do not want it <3#dont want it near me unless u want me in an actual spiral and if you have an issue respecting that ur a fuckin asshole#ppl w fauxcest kinks are literally the biggest snowflakes in online kink community like im sorry#sorry i got ocd and it would make me spiral into somewhere i dont wanna be if that kinks brought up#its all 'keep scrolling and block and move on' until i actually block people haha
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Do you think fedya would still commence his plan even if it required hurting his s/o's loved ones ? and do you think dazai would do the same ?
OMG NONNIE i’m supa sorry this is late i wanted to think abt this tons but little did you know tht you js opened up my entire world of fyozai chess game 🙂↕️ i won’t spoil too much on it yet (hehe something’s coming) BUT !! i’ll answer this <3
fyodor would, unfortunately fnnsjwjk. :( bcz he has this plan “for the better good” ultimately, he prioritizes the bigger picture & the end goal. ofc he would take you into consideration & would probably hold your loved ones in higher regard compared to all others (he wouldn’t actively seek out to hurt them ofc), but js as he’s willing to sacrifice certain pieces on the chessboard (obviously how the game works !!) if it had to come down to bargaining a better world in exchange, he would take it. ‘it would b worth it in the end’ he would tell you, in his eyes, if he weighed both on a scale. personally i hc this bcz in one of my fyozai (self-indulgent) universes, fyodor & his s/o (not officially tg at tht point) had known each other in the past, but him hurting their loved ones causes them to turn against each other & sparks this whole enemies to lovers thing HAHAHA. but back to the main point, the sole piece he wouldn’t sacrifice is the queen. ultimately you.
i think dazai would try very hard not to. esp bcz i like to think (at least after the dark era) he doesn’t throw away people like pawns, unlike fyodor for most ppl. esp for ex. if you had someone close to you tht reminded him of his relationship w/ odasaku 🥹, he definitely wouldn’t want to take tht away. in general he would not want to hurt you. it would b one of his ‘gambles’ tht he’d have to take & he would only touch those pieces on the board if it meant protecting the queen, who is once again you. bcz he wouldn’t sacrifice the most important piece either.
#.* reverie’s loves (ˇᵋ ˇෆ#⁺˖ ෆ no signature#𝓁𝒶𝒷𝓎𝓇𝒾𝓃𝓉𝒽 𝑜𝒻 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒 △#again so sorry for the late response this had me working my mind esp on DAZAI HAHA; i feel like he’d spiral bcz he wants to protect his s/o#above all#meanwhile fyodor unfortunately is…😞. it’s fyodor after all#𐙚 ��� ˖ fedya must be fancied .ᐟ
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i love dnd..i love playing heavy utility/support/backfield and i love having three to six attacks in a turn and an insane ac. at heart im a support player ill get my hands on whatever we're missing in a group
#looks at a druid a fighter and a bard fighter. okay cleric time.#i LOVE playing cleric turns out.#though abjuration wizard is still super super fun its a different flavor of support#it's not buffs it's 'i am going to transfer literally all that damage to myself and war caster style succeed my witchbolt concentration'#doing insane amounts of damage while taking damage (+ with temp hp and then just a lot of hp. im taking the tough feat as soon as possible)#aabria iyengar was right these abjuration wizards are craaaazy. but war domain clerics also fuck hard#my abj wiz is very much an experiment in 'what if someone who is not at all suited to this life tries to adapt as well as she can'#the point is that she isn't a cleric. do u understand. she's not a cleric and that's the point it's the. hbbbgbfhb. she's out here#functioning as a combat medic on some aasimar features + healing kits/potions + arcane ward. Look At Me#i also really enjoy playing nonreligious characters in these worlds where deities 100% exist not in a 'fuck the gods' way but in#a way somewhere between 'i'm all i need' and 'i called and no one answered' and 'may or may not go on an insane power hungry spiral and#try to get a touch of godhood' which is in part very due to my own agnostic and people-loving heart and 'haha what if i icarused this girl'#a resentful caution towards gods an immense respect towards religious companions and 'when your god isn't here to help. i will be'#anyway REACTION arcane ward you don't take damage im fine. next turn reaction shield ward's back up. the thing is.#she will drive her hp down. the ward isn't much like it goes past that temp hp. it's 14hp that shit goes down and carries to her hp#but it never drops. any leveled spell puts hp back into the ward. a 1st lvl shield puts it at 2hp and she can use it again#she is not suited for these conditions but my god it is fun to watch. i care her.#i explained that subclass feature to a player that's not in that campaign and said. like. yeah she can take damage. when her ward drops to#0 it carries to her. any leveled abj spell puts it back up. and she can use it and drive her hp down again.#do u understand what i am explaining to u! do you get it! she is and has always been a punching bag!#she was a very valuable asset to the army and the group she was drafted! into. because when she's there. people just don't fucking go down#aside from her. aside from her. AAAAH. she's so cool. she is very smart i am still riding the high of critting every turn w witchbolt and#reacting to ward a party member against a crit that would have dropped him by taking the hit herself. and she didn't break concentration#badass
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bleh
#blabbering#rambling/whining/complaining/venting ahead:#I think the horrors have finally caught up to me and the depresso is starting to take hold#i don't usually experience this until winter but I think the sudden drop of activity and people going on hiatus and such -#has triggered this early for me#basically I can't be left alone with my thoughts for too long or i start spiraling REALLY badly.#i don't really handle change very well haha...#i have the notorious curse of second guessing anything and everything and putting it on repeat in my head and then amplifying it#which sucks bc I don't have any more escapisms that work now bc this was already my escapism and I have no human connections irl#(I'm not kidding either. I've failed time and time again to make friends irl and was always the proactive one about it. But alas... ugh)#my only source for connections is online bc i struggle to make friends (especially at my age and how my energy keeps depleting and depletin#might lowkey be sharkweek but usually I just get more agitated and not this (this is very specific to the winter horrors™ for me)#i guess I may as well check out the spears while they're around still (tho in between me making dinner). I'm just feeling super bummed out#and not excited like I was the other day about it (ofc I blame the depresso™).#I don't even know what to do for my beta characters. Head empty. Head gone. sigh.#also it sucks bc next week is gonna kick my ass at work (canada day/july 4th/july in general/5 DAYS and long shifts in there too)#i'm going to be so tired and so alone and with nothing to look forward to. Idk what to do bc none of my usual distractions are effective no#No escape. No seretonin. No company. Nothin'. I notice I when i start getting bad like this when I fall back hard into pokemon#(because it was my childhood escapism and I was a neglected only child who was left alone a lot; hence the connection lol)#i'll probably just have to suffer through it and be an absolute wreck of a person i think. I don't really have any other options#watch me get sick again bc canada sucks to work bc everyone has it off and they ALL GO TO THE STORE I WORK AT AND IT SUCKS.#gonna try to draw more too but the depresso is eating my brain worms (the healthy brain worms)
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only been listing to La Dispute today
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Project discovered
#my art#krokstar au#pre war college au#just realized that maybe part of the reason his roommate has been sleeping in his room with him may not be because he’s clingy#but maybe because he’s turned his own room and bed into a makeshift lab#where he’s currently housing a giant gun#Krk may be rethinking some things now#krk texting kick off: he’s been gone for 8 days but I think I’m back to normal now :)#krk texting kick off back 30 minutes later: I’m about to spiral again haha :]#also was star about to compromise whatever he was working on to get krk his stupid cup? Yeah#lol
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Hey this just in? Ptsd sucks balls
#Oversharing on the internet times#Ptsd#-10/10 don't recommend#Ugh#Need my brain scrubbed and shaken out#I would like a new one please and thank you#I promise I won't let this new one be tortured I'll be extra careful#Love how my subconscious has decided that I'm just the worst person on earth all my dreams lately are like#Hey what if you were monstrous? What I'd you personally committed horrific acts against other human beings?#Let's explore that reality in hd#These aren't even the fun nightmares where I can convince myself I'm not seconds from throwing up they were so bad and can decode them#And do dream work with them#Those nightmares always end up having really cool symbolism and are helpful in deeply deeply meaningful ways#I am willing to suffer those nightmares I have made my peace with them it's like a game almost#These ones just shake me up for fucking days and become a never ending spiraling cycle ugh ugh ugh#It's like my intrusive thoughts were made I to a TV show fuck#Me: slightly rude to my gf#My brain: what if you were the same level as evil as rapist#Me: great I'm going to throw up and claw my skin off and have a panic attack thank you brain that was super fucking helpful#The way that my brain is convinced that I'm evil actually is sure is....#Well. It. It seems like my brain learned to abuse myself that it's doing the work of my torturer for her ten years down the line#Mm. Hate that thought a lot actually going#....I was actually going to keep these tags fairly short I wanted this post to be a vague haha ptsd sure is something post and not#Spill my guts in the tags again but what else is new have done this for years so whatever
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me after posting a vent and deleting it 5 minutes later (if you're chronically online enough you've seen all of my vents but they never stay)
#kipbarks#guys I think I am spiraling again. guys I think I am not okay. guys guy s=help#haha what was that. who said that
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New pfp
I missed doing greyscale on bright colors….
#art#arty art#yep#the aspects#pfp#hmmmm#love the dp colors#they’re my favorite#I actually had green and purple hair for a while there…#it was probably my favorite hairdo I’ve ever had hehehe#I need to do that one again#right now though it’s just half green half blackberry#??#not blackberry just black#black is my natural color#also it makes me happy when my hair feels healthy/soft so I try to keep at least some of my hair the natural color#bad months get full head dyes#also! this is my shortest I’ve ever worn my hair! wowie#my hair gets in my face a lot#need to start wearing my clips again#maybe put them on glasses again too…#maybe I could pull off a spiral color pattern? my hair is curly enough for it to curl up into individual pieces#ignore my ramblings haha#just thinking about future looks I could try
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i think 3 AM me is slightly deranged <3
#rosie babbles#wh13#ml#yes. this is a warehouse 13 x miraculous ladybug fanfic. this was just supposed to be a crack 'haha what if they were in the same universe'#but the plot bunny is once again spiraling out of my control#my brain: hey remember that one show you havent watched in months?#me: yuh#my brain: the kids need a support system of some kind from adults who are familiar with the magic of the world but who'll acknowledge that#the kids are the best suited for the miraculous conflict and just need backup sometimes#me: …uhhh#my brain: so you should bodily yeet the warehouse crew into paris france#me: whuh#id in alt text
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