#spinning has brought me such joy and i just really want it to be accessible to anyone who's interested in it

[trashpandacraft]

@mor-and-more, this is for you. tumblr won't let me add video to reblogs and is being highkey uncooperative about this, so it's new post time.

many people who are fairly new to spinning are anxious about dropping their beautiful drop spindles.

first: honestly, you don't have to be. they're called drop spindles for a reason—because you drop them. it's going to drop sometimes; that's just the nature of the craft. it's ok. most of them are pretty sturdy.

second: if this is putting you off starting, try what i only half-jokingly call the no-drop method! it's pretty slow, so you're probably not going to want to do this forever, but you can use it to get to a place where you're comfortable enough that you're willing to try other things.

this is basically park and draft, but not a variation i've seen discussed much, so i made a video, featuring my cat, who really really really wants to help. there's a text version of this method after the video.

this is a no-audio situation (other than random background noise), so quick notes.

first and foremost, i'm holding the spindle between my feet, because that's what's comfortable for me and because i took this video around a tripod. there's no reason that you can't do this sitting on the sofa with the spindle between your knees, or with your legs crossed tailor-style and the spindle tucked into the fold of your knee, or whatever else makes sense for you.

the other thing is that i had to trim the video a little to fit on tumblr, which is why it ends abruptly. there are videos made by much more skilled videographers about how to do things like predraft, find the staple length, and draft while you spin, so i don't show any of that either (except incidentally), but if anyone's like 'no, i feel that having this from you, specifically, will make my life better,' let me know and i'll make another video. maybe without the cat. (maybe with more cat! who can say.)

text version, including some extra notes:

trap the spindle so it can't move, but you have easy access to it. (see list of suggested positions above.)

take your predrafted fibre and hook it onto your spindle. i like to basically fold a staple length in half and use that. once it's hooked, keep your hand there, holding the fibre so it stays folded around the spindle hook.

keeping the spindle trapped, twist it. you're just loosening your feet or knees or whatever enough that you can twist the stick.

twist will move into the fibre around the hook. hooray! your fibre is now attached to the spindle. twist a little more. keep pinching it at the top!

draft out a tiny bit more fibre, move your pinch up to the top of that, and let the twist move into the drafted fibre.

keep twisting, drafting out a little, letting the twist move up, and twisting some more. if the yarn looks like it's getting too loose, let the tension off of the yarn and keep twisting, then reapply the tension. a weird thing about twist is that it doesn't move well unless it's under tension. i really tried to show this in the video, and i failed. i will repeat attempts if anyone desires.

if you're not sure if you have enough twist, just move your fibre hand towards the spindle. if the yarn twists around itself, you're probably good. (i check that a lot in this video, because i never spin in this style recreationally, and i don't have good instincts for it.)

when you have an arm's length of yarn, wrap it onto your spindle. for the first time you do this, you'll want to hold the bottom of the yarn, right where it attaches to the hook, as well as the top of the yarn, right before you get to unspun fibre. just wrap it onto the shaft of the spindle. i sometimes find it useful to lay the first tiny bit of the yarn—again, the bit that was on the hook—parallel to the shaft, and then wrap over that, which helps make sure things are good and tight.

hook back onto the spindle and repeat.

you can do this as long as you want to, up to and including forever. it's sort of a hybrid style of spinning—not quite suspended spinning, not quite supported spinning, and not quite grasped/clasped spinning, but a collection of elements from all of them. you're making yarn! you're spinning!

that said, after you do this a few times, you may feel like it's a little unnecessarily fussy and slow. which is also totally fine. try loosening your grip on the spindle and giving it a little twirl. you don't have to let go entirely if you don't feel ready to, but loosen up enough that it'll spin, then clamp back down. you can see me doing this at the very end of the video. at this point, you're basically doing park and draft, and can go from there.

like i kinda implied at the start of this post, this is very far from the only way to approach learning to spin, but especially if you're anxious about damaging your spindle or (like me) hate unexpected noises, it might be one to consider.

[monsterkisserlove]

Fuzzy Moonlight: Chapter 6

You met a bear in the forest, but could he be so much more? Could he be your escape from the oppressive village you find yourself trapped in?

TW/CW: Abandonment mention, religious persecution mention, parental death mention. If I've missed any out please let me know and I'll add them in immediately!! They both really really reeeeeeally horny for each other but still SFW so far. Well SFWish...

Pairing: M werebear/F reader

a/n: Still SFWish but getting some spicier vibes! Future NSFW chapters will be marked! Again, under 18s DNI! This blog and these fics ain’t for you.

Chapter 5

Despite the biting cold of your wet garments, you felt warm, no you felt feverish, staring up at the man as he brought his other hand to your jaw, thumb stroking over the soft curve as he tilted your face up by his large thumb placed delicately under your chin and he lowered his to yours. 

Barleys’ lips pressed against yours, and your eyes fluttered closed, his languid, searing kiss further erasing any cold you felt. You didn’t notice your own fingers curling around the back of his neck, grasping onto his golden, wet locks of hair as you rose on tiptoes to press yourself closer against his vast chest. 

As you tugged gently on his hair, Barley let out a soft growl, hands going to your waist, squeezing and pulling you even closer to him, fingertips digging into your soft skin as the kiss became more passionate, more animalistic. You parted your lips, allowing him access which he took immediately, needing to feel you further, to taste you. 

Barley groaned in pleasure when a small whimper emerged from your throat at the heady sensations he was delivering to you, your head empty of every thought, only him and his talented tongue and what more he could do to you.  

Clearly his head is exactly in the same space as yours when, in one fluid movement, he pulled you up in his strong, thick arms, your legs wrapping around his waist as he spins and pushes you against a wall with a slight thump. 

The gasp that left your lips at the sudden change was quickly replaced with soft keening and whimpers as his clever mouth kissed, bit and sucked at the column of your throat, his beard scratching at your skin. All the attention making you light headed as you imagined just what his beard and mouth would feel between your thighs.  

You tightened your legs around his waist, grinding yourself against the considerable bulge in his trousers bringing the heated kissing to a grunting stop as he rutted back against you, his eyes screwed shut and holding onto the very last shred of control he had left. 

Suddenly a thought came through all the dizzying hedonism, you don’t know this man. 

Yes, he is kind and funny and just so fucking handsome but you don’t truly know him. 

“Ah,” you gasp out, his teeth nipping at your skin, “wait-, stop... Ah, wait.” You panted out, catching your breath as Barley immediately stopped all of his affections, and gently carried you to a straw mattress covered with a huge pile of furs and set you down reverentially.  

Seating himself beside you, he tilted his head, an apologetic look on his face and concern glittering in those bright, golden eyes. “I-, I’m sorry, I got carried away...”  

Your eyebrows shot up, and you shook your head vehemently. “No, no! That was good, I mean really, really good,” now that made Barley smirk proudly, “but we don’t know each other, I never usually do anything like this...” 

“That’s understandable,” Barley nodded, looking more than a little disappointed at the imagined rejection, “once the rain has calmed down, I’ll escort you back through the forest to get you home safely.” 

The despondent look in his eyes almost broke your heart, even though you'd only met the man a few days ago.  

Reaching over, you pushed a lock of his hair behind his ear, palm settling on his cheek. “No, listen, I’m saying that I want to get to know you better.”  

Barleys’ smile was breath taking, practically radiating joy, his own hand covering yours on his face, reveling in your gentle touch. “I would very much like that too.” He murmured huskily, closing the gap between the two of you to press a sweet kiss against your lips for just a moment.  

You wanted to enjoy this moment, to just live in it but the cold from your drenched clothes was seeping into your bones, a shiver, and not the enjoyable kind, making you shake and your teeth chatter. 

Barley, noticing this, jumped up with such agility that it surprised you such a large man could move so quickly. “Oh hell,” he muttered to himself, “you’re frozen!” 

Cuddling into yourself to stave off further cold, you watched him with amusement as he opened and shut drawers and cupboard doors, clearly looking for something. As he let out a triumphant ah-ha you giggled, nestling a little deeper into the furs as he came bounding back. 

“I’ve got some towels and one of my shirts,” Barley rubbed the back of his head awkwardly, “I know you said that we should get to know each other and I’m really not trying to get you out of your dress but you should really get out of this dress...” 

You laughed again, standing to take the items offered. “Thank you, I appreciate it, is there anywhere I could change?” He nodded and directed you to a part of the cabin cut off from the rest.  

You hadn’t noticed earlier, due to all the excitement, but now you could see that his cabin was really just one large room with designated areas for the kitchen and resting place, wooden dividers giving the impression of privacy. The only room with a door is the bathroom that you’re now standing in, and you could see that everything was handmade or carved, it illuminating take the rustic beauty of it. 

As you undressed and unlaced yourself from your sopping clothes, you day dreamed about spending time in that deep, wooden bathtub, submerged in hot perfumed water and just maybe as a treat Barley could join you... 

Shaking the improper thoughts from your mind, you dried yourself before slipping into the shirt Barley had given you, the hem reaching to just above your knees. The fabric feels so soft against your skin, the smell of pine and wood smoke filling your senses, almost making you forget the need to get to know him and instead just climb into his lap and beg him to take you.  

Once more you had to shake your head before you left his bathroom, your dress now draped carefully over the edge of the bath to dry, and you tugged nervously at the hem of his shirt to cover more of your exposed thighs.  

It wasn’t as if a man had never seen you naked before, as if you’d never had sex but this was the first time you’d ever felt this way about a man. The desire for him to find you beautiful, for him to be as captivated with you as you are with him.  

Stepping out, you saw Barley lounging upon the furs he’d originally set you down upon, obviously now changed himself. The shirt he wore was missing, hair decorating his chest and disappearing down into the cloth breeches that he had switched into from the leather trousers, the ends of his blonde locks curling at the ends as he dried in the warmth of the cabin.  

A warm light was flickering up the walls, the fireplace basking the entire room in a golden hue and temperate heat. 

But that wasn’t what was making you flush, it was Barley and his gaze upon you. 

It was the look of a man seeing the sun for the first time. 

And it made your heart swell that it was directed at you. 

Barley grinned, beckoning you closer to him and you followed as if being pulled by some kind of invisible string. The man before you held out his calloused hand and you took it, marveling in the difference of size, his whole hand closing around yours.  

Settling in the soft furs next to him, you curled your bare legs beneath you. You’d never been so comfortable with another person before, not like this. Helena was the closest thing to family you’d ever known but she was much more a maternal figure and Barley... Well, he was something much more. 

“I hope you’re feeling a little warmer, I’m sorry I didn’t notice sooner.” Barley told you with a rueful smile. 

“I could say the same thing.” You replied but he just laughed, running a hand through his messy hair, the same hair you’d been tugging through your fingers just a small while ago.  

“I run hot,” he shrugged, “so I honestly didn’t notice until you began to shiver.” Barley shot you an appraising glance. “But I’m assuming you’re a little more contented now you’re out of your wet garments, yes?”  

You nodded in response, a warm smile gracing your features, fingers playing with the hem of his shirt. Barley turned to face you properly, his leg pressed close to yours, heat seeping from him to you.  

He really did run hot.  

“Well then,” he started, “in the spirit of getting to know each other, could I ask you a question?” 

“Of course.” 

“I know you said that Helena asked you stay here, and that you must have been very close after being her apprentice, but do you have no other family? I do not mean to be blunt but, is there not anyone out there who may be concerned about you?” 

Sighing, you dropped your head, staring into your lap before answering. “No, I don’t, but it’s a long story.”  

Barley cocked an eyebrow, falling silent for a moment as the storm raged on outside, wind and rain rattling the window panes. “Well, I don’t think either of us are going to be leaving anytime soon so we have time for a long story. But only if you want to, of course.” 

“In the spirit of getting to know each other, I suppose.” You started and went on to tell him the morose tale of your childhood. The story of how an unwed woman falling pregnant in a town that viewed everything through the lens of righteous condemnation ended with you being abandoned on the steps of an orphanage three cities over. 

Of how you were never adopted, but then again neither were many of the other children that you resided with, and how at the young age of sixteen you were discharged from the care of the orphanage. That it was Helena who found you years later trying to sell the mosses and sweet herbs you’d scavenged, well, stolen, from the medicine woman's own garden. 

All she’d told you, with her characteristic easy grin, was that you had been setting your prices far too low and that people in this area would spend thrice the amount you were charging.  

After that it had really been all of Helenas’ doing, she’d offered you board and room on the condition that you’d work in her apothecary. Of course, you’d agreed immediately, and then she began training you and now... Here you were.  

Throughout your tale, Barley had never once made you feel as if you were oversharing, as if you’d been irritating him. He’d simply offered you sympathy and comfort during the hard parts and never once looked at you with pity. Something you appreciated far more than he could know.  

During that time, if even possible, you’d both pressed closer to each other, basking in the contact of another person. A sensation that both of you had sorely missed.  

“Now,” you fixed him with a smile, “what about your family? How did you wind up here?” 

As Barley paused, eyebrows pulling together in soft a frown, you hurried to add on that he was to only tell you if he was happy to do so. 

“No, no... It’s not that, it’s just been such a long while since someone asked that I don’t know where to start.” 

“Like you said, we both have time right now for long stories.” If anything, the storm had gotten worse, rain lashing against the window so hard that you worried for the glass. 

“I suppose you’re right,” he chuckled, one of his large hands settling on your knee and giving you a tender squeeze, “there’s really not much to say though. Simply that I lost my parents when I was seventeen.” Your hand covered his, sliding your fingers between his as you felt his pain and it broke your heart. 

“We were attacked because of who we were,” Barley continued, pausing as if he were unsure what to say next, clearly picking his words carefully, “people like me and my family are what you’d call outsiders. We’re not... Not like regular folk.” 

You cocked your head, wondering if he would elaborate further but he didn’t so you simply nodded, encouraging him to go on.  

“So yeah, after that, I travelled place to place, picking up skills and things before setting up here.”  

Obviously, he was holding back but you understood, some things were just too hard to talk about. 

“I guess that would explain your feelings about the villagers, being an ‘outsider’ and all that. They’re barely friendly at the best of times, let alone someone who lives in the so-called beast infected forest.” 

Barley chortled at that, his body wracked with laughter, eyes crinkling in glee. “Y’know,” he wheezed, “I’m almost sure when they say beast that they mean me. They’ve actually confronted me about it before, on one of the rare trips I took to the village before I stopped going completely. Telling me that I was an agent of the devil and I was bringing evil here.” 

You shook you head. “Oh, that sounds like them alright, I feel like I’ve dropped from one place heavy with persecution to another.”  

The hand on your knee squeezed you again, his other pushing a lock behind your ear delicately.  

“That being said,” Barley murmured, “be careful with them. Panic makes stupid zealots dangerous. I’d hate for anything to happen to you because of your association with me.”  

You nodded as he pressed a delicate kiss to your forehead, stilling your movement, his concern and desire to keep you safe spilling from every word and sweet caress.  

It wasn’t a moment later that the small amount of tension that had settled was broken as you both shared more light hearted stories from your respective pasts’, and learnt of each other's likes and dislikes. It wasn’t a surprise to you that one of his big loves was food, and he wasn’t picky at all.  

That didn’t mean he was a bad cook though, as he served you some hearty potato and venison stew that had been quietly bubbling for the past few hours.  

As the storm raged on outside, the waning gibbous moon hidden behind thick, dark clouds, you and Barley were cocooned in the languid warmth of your new found connection and obvious chemistry. After the events of the day and the very early start, exhaustion over took you both and that’s how you found yourself curled up with Barley pressed against you, his naked chest against your back and his thick arms holding you tight.  

No thoughts of work tomorrow, or the insipid villagers, just that you’d not been this happy in such a long time. 

Sleep came so very easily to you both.  

TBC

[votederpycausemufins]

All my knowledge is of hermitcraft and the stuff people have written for the Hermit!Tommy Au but I kept having this idea and needed to write it. I also think i got a bit out of character halfway through because it was supposed to be short, but i vibed with it too much so now it’s long and maybe not 100% accurate but it’s still angst followed by fluff.

also @petrichormeraki wanted me to tag them when i posted this.

Tommy had been with the Hermits for a while now. He hadn’t really kept track of when he first arrived, but it had at least been a few months. Otherwise, time was a mess. The Hermits has all but legally adopted him and all the joy that came from them caring for him made time seem to fly by.

Doc was fun to be around because while Tommy was perfectly fine never going back to the SMP, the way the man acted gave Tommy a small bit of familiarity in a good way to his past life.

He likes hanging out with False, mainly for sparring. Never anything deadly, but even if there wasn’t a need for Tommy to constantly look over his shoulder, it was good to keep from getting too rusty.

He doesn’t really hang out with Zedaph as much as Zedaph hangs out with him. Normally the Hermit would come out of the blue with something new for Tommy to try. Flicking levers over and over for something that would normally be as simple as using a furnace just became fun for Tommy, especially if he had energy pent up.

Xisuma is someone Tommy doesn’t run into much, but the fact that he doesn’t is something Tommy finds comfort in. Even as the server admin, the man is very down to Earth. Nothing like Dream ever was.

And then there’s Grian. Tommy got along with all the Hermits fine and of course there were some he preferred over others, but Grian took the cake for him. When he first showed up, Grian was the one to give him a place to stay at his old hobbit hole. Professor Beaks had been left there and still used to the SMP and scared for his life, Tommy hid the pet bird as leverage for his own safety. When Grian found out, he mostly shrugged it off, but the tens of chickens in the hobbit hole the next day was proof of retaliation.

Tommy didn’t understand the underwhelming response at first, but responded in kind, using the eggs from the chickens Grian had left to egg the Hermit’s base. When the builder nearly broke the door to the hobbit hole, Tommy grabbed his axe, ready to fight for his life, but was taken aback by the cheerful look on Grian’s face.

After that, Grian had practically taken Tommy under his wing. He showed Tommy how to build more effectively with cobble, eventually managing to get the teen to have some variety. Grian also brought Tommy along on his various chaotic endeavors, leaving behind chickens, mycelium, and possibly some missing doors.

The two chaotic red wearing Brits got along so well that they sometimes spent entire weeks together. Because of that, Tommy was all too aware that the Hermits participated in MCC as well.

It made sense. A few of the Hermits vaguely recognised him when he showed up in Hermitcraft and a few of them looked familiar to Tommy. That had made him feel a little safer since now these people weren’t complete strangers, but it did complicate things. Every so often, the portal to MCC would open and the Hermits participating would go through. The closest Tommy would get to the portal was just before the Hermits left, occasionally giving a ‘Good luck Grine!’ or something similar to Grian as he went through. But after that Tommy stayed as far away as he could manage.

The portal there led to MCC. And from there, there was a portal that led to the SMP. If Tommy could get to Hermitcraft, others could too. And that idea was terrifying, no matter who it was. Dream was a worst case scenario, but even if it was Tubbo. Tubbo had exiled him, and even if they were still on good terms after that, Tommy could have visited at some other MCC, but he didn’t, and that idea likely wouldn’t go over well, especially since otherwise, people probably thought he was dead and Tommy didn’t care to correct them.

But compared to all those other times, today was very different. Today Tommy wasn’t at the sidelines to help send off the other Hermits, he was one of the ones being sent off. They had taken every precaution. Mumbo had rebuilt his Spookification chamber for Tommy with some alterations, specifically removing the firework method of alteration. The teen was also dressed for being on a team with Grian as the Cyan Creepers, so his familiar red and white shirt was missing. But under Tommy’s costume, he still kept the chain necklace holding his compass. He refused to part with it, though made sure he would be hard to access to keep from glancing, knowing at the championships, it wouldn’t be spinning wildly anymore.

With a comforting pat on the back from Grian, he and the other Hermits walked through the portal. The crowd of people that were on the side almost immediately overwhelmed Tommy, making him think that it was a bad idea all over again, but the sight of the two other team members for the Cyan Creepers reassured them, especially as they lined up for the cameras for some fun and silly times. Then once the games began, he was too focused on winning to think of much else.

Before long, the championships were over. They had come in fifth, which was a bit disappointing at first, but on the other hand, it was still pretty good and kept the spotlight off of him. When dodgebolt began, Tommy stood next to Grian, but with a crowd of people, a good game, and no perfect place to sit, the both of them wandered for a better vantage point.

At one point, Tommy managed to push his way right up to the edge of the viewing ledge. It was the perfect place for a while until the action moved, causing everyone to decide it was the perfect place. Enough people moved nearby that Tommy was worried about falling into the pit below, and he almost did before someone pulled him back.

Tommy was ready to thank whichever Hermit or even other player helped him but the words died in his throat when he faced the person who grabbed him. He knew that mask and neon green color. And there was no reason for him to help Tommy unless-

“I finally found you!” Dream spoke. He raised his voice to be heard over the crowd, but not too much to draw the attention of others. Tommy froze as he definitely heard the words. But there was no way for Dream to know, he didn’t look at all like normal.

“I-I’m sorry.” Tommy tried not to stutter, hoping just the situation of being grabbed would excuse it. “But I don’t think I’m who you’re looking for. I’m new here. Unless you’re greeting me for being new.” It was something he prepared before in his mind after Grian brought up the possibility, but it felt sloppy putting it to use.

“Oh don’t lie Tommy. I know it’s you. I guess you got lost, but it’s okay, you can come back now. I got rid of the exile for you. Aren’t you glad?”

Tommy was glad for the mask that covered Dream’s face. He wasn’t sure he wanted to see Dream’s actual expression. “How did you-” He started to speak, but Dream cut him off, poking Tommy’s chest, right where the compass was.

“Weren’t you paying attention to the teams? Tubbo got put with me. And between games he just happened to glance at his own compass. And wouldn’t you know it, it led me right here.” Dream held up the compass that belonged to Tubbo. It looked damaged, and it was recent. Tubbo likely didn’t want to give the tyrant admin the compass, but lost it to Dream anyway.

“Give that back to Tubbo!” Tommy shouted at Dream, trying to snatch it from him.

“Feisty now, aren’t you? We can take care of that when you come back. I’ll also give it back to him if you come with me.”

Tommy froze. There was no way he was going back, but what could he do? Everyone was focused on dodgebolt, and he didn’t want his appearance to have caused more trouble for Tubbo.

Tommy glanced at the crowd one last time before reluctantly nodding. Dream grabbed his hand in a painful clench and dragged him out of the crowd towards the SMP’s portal to leave. However, just before reaching it, Dream stopped. Tommy, who had been looking back at the crowd, hoping someone would see what was going on, turned towards the portal to see Grian standing in front of it.

“Heya, where do you think you’re going. MCC isn’t over yet. Dodgebolt it still going on.”

Tommy expected Dream to just push past Grian or even give some sort of retort, but the actual reply was shocking. “Uh, n-no, just… have to head back early. Th-the game delays made things run over. A-and we’ve got to get b-back for… something else. Don’t w-want to be late for that.”

Dream’s words made Tommy so shocked he forgot to breathe. Dream was scared, no he was terrified. And he was terrified… of Grian. Tommy looked back at the Hermit who stood unflinching in front of them.

“Really? I could have sworn that you were here when I arrived, and that kid wasn’t. And he definitely came from a different portal. I know since I was keeping my eye out for my teammates. So why’s he going with you?”

“I uh…” Dream struggled, struggled, to give an answer, letting Grian continue. “That’s what I thought. C’mon kid, let’s go back to the crowd. You can stay with me until it’s over then I’ll help you find your portal back.”

And Grian took Tommy away without any retaliation from Dream. Tommy was left in awe. Grian wasn’t even an admin in Hermitcraft but Dream was terrified of him. It was amazing! But at the same time, it made Tommy spiral a bit.

When everyone returned, Grian had made sure Dream left before the Hermits and Tommy did so Dream couldn’t watch Tommy leave. Tommy stuck to False’s side as they walked through the portal, Grian being the last to come through as he continued to act as a guard. When he tried to comfort Tommy after his run-in with Dream, he understood when the teen responded he just wanted to go home. The championships were exhausting enough without a scare like that.

The next day, Tommy hung out with False. And then Zedaph, and then Doc. Grian noticed immediately, but didn’t pay much mind to it. He noticed since Tommy had spent a full week only hanging out with him, so the sudden absence of the boy was noticeable, but it made sense that he would want to hang out with the others.

After that, Grian didn’t pay too much attention to the lack of Tommy until he ran into him while stocking the barge. Tommy had been buying something at the store when Grian flew in. He nearly dropped his diamonds in trying to leave in such a hurry that it finally concerned Grian. The builder started visiting other Hermits Tommy tended to visit and ask about him. No one really noticed much other than Tommy dodging any questions about him possibly going to hang out with Grian.

Grian decided to leave it alone, and he was definitely going to, but after another run in with Tommy, he threw that decision out the window. Grian normally wouldn’t have done this, but after trying multiple times to just talk to Tommy and being unsuccessful, the builder had to essentially corner the teen.

Immediately, Grian regretted it. Tommy was trembling, obviously scared, holding a sword in his hand. He carefully tried to point out that Tommy didn’t need to have his sword out, but instead of just putting it away, Tommy just threw it on the ground, also throwing down his other gear. Grian had heard of Tommy doing this before with the other Hermits, so he immediately recognised what was going on and dived to grab the gear. It scared Tommy more, but Grian wanted to make sure nothing ended up destroyed.

“Tommy, calm down, I just want to talk. Did I do something wrong? I mean, obviously I must have, you look scared out of your mind every time I’m around you. But I can’t think or anything I did and I don’t want this to keep happening. So can I know what’s going on?”

Tommy didn’t speak for a while. He just looked defeated and terrified. Grian called in some of the other Hermits to come help Tommy calm down, though at first it didn’t help. But over time, Tommy finally did stop looking so terrified and they moved to somewhere he would feel less cornered. It took more coaxing after that, but finally, Tommy explained himself.

“He’s scared of you. Dream is… actually scared of you.”

“Yeah, I’ve killed him once or twice. Plus my full name is Lord Grian Dreamslayer, so it’s kind of in the name.” The builder tried to say it as a joke, but it didn’t seem to lighten the mood.”

“He’s the admin and he’s scared of you. And you… I’ve been hanging out with you.”

Grian nodded. “Well yeah, we do fit together well. ...Did he say something at MCC to make you think I didn’t like you?”

Tommy shook his head. “N-No. You’re right, you’re fun to be around. But dream likes… liked messing with me. And tried to train me. And I hang out with you more than I had with him, and I’m more like you. I-If you’re somehow more powerful than him-!” The rest of the words stopped in Tommy’s throat, choking him up. Stress was nearby and gave Tommy a careful hug for comfort, which helped him a little.

Grian waited a little bit for the tension to calm slightly before he spoke. “I don’t know exactly what Dream has done to you. You’ve told us a lot, but you obviously haven’t told us everything, and telling us isn’t the same as experiencing it. But let me tell you that I’m not going to do what he’s done to you. I remember how you were the first day we found you. And I see how you are now- well, how you were a few weeks ago- and I’m happy. Happy because you’ve been happy. You’ve been safe and cared for here and it shows. I don’t want to force you to be anything, I want you to be you. Sure, I’m powerful enough to kill Dream, but I’m not going to use that power on you. I’m only going to use it around you if it’s to keep him away from you.

“And! And! It’s just because of how your server is. Here we can go to the end. We don’t have a set amount of lives. We build massive structures and sell totems for a single diamond each. We fight Withers for fun and make farms with them. We farm just about anything you can think of. And Tommy.” Grian paused, making sure Tommy was paying attention. “You may be from somewhere far off that none of us old Hermits have seen, but now you’re here. And new home or not, that makes you a Hermit too. Sure you can be like me. Or you can be like False or Doc or Scar or Mumbo. But so far, you’ve been pretty you. And that you is a Hermit.”

Tommy took a few moments to process it, but the message seemed to get through to him. With that, Grian stood up with a smile. “Now I get that you probably don’t want to hang around me much right now. It makes sense. Maybe hang out with some other Hermits and learn some new stuff to get your mind off of things. Plus, I also did some talking around looking for you, and got you this.”

Tommy’s eyes practically sparkled as Grian placed down some music discs. He greedily grabbed the treasures and stuffed them in his inventory, looking up just to see Grian flying off. Taking on Grian’s idea, Tommy decided to go with Cleo and try to wrap his head around those armor stands again. While he wasn’t a pro, he did manage to make one scene of the hermits all holding weapons and surrounding an armor stand in lime leather armor. Grian was right. He was a Hermit. And he wasn’t going back. At least, not permanently, he thought, clutching his compass. Maybe, there would even be another Hermit like him.

[sunshinejihyun]

Command Me, Command You - Helios

Author’s note: I’m here to wish the happiest of birthday to my most beautiful and wonderful friend @otomecooties​. This isn’t much, but I love you too much and couldn’t bear to not have anything to give you for your birthday.

Summary: Helios gives her all of her favorite things for her birthday

Warnings: NSFW - if you’re under 18+, please don't read!

Word Count: 2,273

Masterlist

She was still in the same spot that Helios had left her in that morning, bent over her tablet and bopping along to the music she was playing through her headphones at that moment. She hadn't noticed Helios come in, even after his loud boots fell to the floor and he set down the bags he had gotten at the store.

Helios made his way over to her then, brushing her hair back from her neck and placing a kiss there, his teeth dragging along the sensitive skin and making her shiver. She let out a breathy sigh and leaned back in the chair, setting the tablet pencil to the side and moving her head so Helios could have better access to the skin.

He traced up her neck, alternating from nips to gentle kisses before he got to her ear. He gently removed the earbuds and placed them on the desk next to her pencil, before sucking on her earlobe. “I’m back,” he whispered, his voice deepening in the soft state.

“Hm, yeah I figured as much. Didn’t think it’d be a ghost kissing on me like that.” She retorted, causing Helios to let out a low chuckle and reach his hand up to her neck, moving her head so her lips were brushing his own.

“I’ll let you get away with the sass this time, because it’s your birthday. But next time, I won’t be so lenient.” A shiver ran up her spine at that, and Helios could almost hear the gears in her head turning, looking for a way to push his buttons once more and get what she really wanted.

“Wow, I must be a lucky girl huh?” She asked, pulling out of his grip before spinning her chair around so she was facing Helios. “My own boyfriend is being slightly nice to me on my birthday.”

The smirk on her face was enough for Helios to want to drag her out of the chair and throw her onto his bed, having his way with her in any way he saw fit, but he didn’t. If she was going to behave like that, he’d teach his lesson the hard way. “Just for that little comment, I’m not gonna let you have what you really want until you’ve learned your lesson.”

She frowned at that, biting her lip slightly and Helios stuck out his finger, poking her lip and causing her to drop her hold on it. “You’re gonna deny me of what I want on my birthday?” She whined slightly, reaching out her arms for Helios to pick her up from the chair. “I don’t see how that’s any sort of fair.”

“And I don’t see how it’s fair that I went out today and got you dinner and cheesecake and yet all you want to do is fuck me.” Helios retorted, carrying her to the kitchen. “I have half a mind to make you sit on this counter and fuck yourself with your fingers until you’re a wanting mess and then I’d make you stop before you could cum, wash your hands and eat your meal.” Helios felt her shudder and adjusted herself in his arms, rubbing against his midsection softly and causing a groan to emit from her throat. “In fact, I know you’d just end up getting off on it, and that’s exactly why I won't do it.” Helios lightly tapped her butt before setting her down.

“You’re an evil, evil man Helios.” She narrowed her eyes at him in a joking manner and he laughed at her face, a small feeling of joy blossoming in his chest. “How dare you do me so dirty on my birthday.”

“I fear you’re mistaken,” Helios pulled the hamburgers out of the brown paper bag and handed her one, unwrapping his but pausing before taking a bite. “If I were doing you dirty right now, you’d know.”

She didn’t respond to that, opting to go to the silverware drawer and grab a fork and a knife before cutting off a piece of her burger. She looked Helios in the eye as she took a bite and laughed as he rolled his eyes in exasperation. “Look, you have your weird habits that I don’t judge and I have mine. Get over it.”

“I didn’t say anything!” He laughed around a mouthful of fries as she ate another small bite off her fork. “If you’re happy, that’s all that matters.”

“Wow, you’re laying it on thick tonight huh?” She asked, wiping her face on a napkin. Neither of them was eating at the dinner table, Helios was sat on top of the kitchen counter and she leaned her elbows on it, both of them exchanging looks that ranged from sweet, to silly, to as seductive as it could get with hamburgers in their mouths.

“Only the best for you.” He responded, around the last bite of his burger. “I even got you some cheesecake.”

Her eyes lit up at that, and she moved to stand in between Helios’s legs, a yearning look on her face. “Did you get the kind from the grocery store that has all the assortments of them so I can try all the different flavors?”

His hands fell to her hips and he pulled her in close, smoothing back a stray piece of hair. “Of course I did, I know my girl.”

She leaned into Helios’s gentle touch and Helios smiled at her before leaning down to press a kiss to her cheek. “Your girl, huh?”

“Don’t make me repeat it.” He teased, prodding her side and smirking at the way she squirmed in his arms. Helios released her then and she went to the fridge, bending over to grab the cheesecake platter before nodding towards the living room.

“Want to join me on the couch and we can watch some shitty reality TV and gorge ourselves on this cheesecake platter?”

Helios hopped off the counter then, making his way over to her and kissed her once on the lips softly. “And this is why I tolerate you more than others.”

She scowled at that, making Helios chuckle and she grabbed his hand, leading him towards the dingy couch that Helios had acquired in the time he’d been living in the warehouse before she got there. Flicking on the TV, she sat down close enough to Helios where their shoulders were touching and offered him first pick of the cheesecake platter.

He picked up a strawberry piece then, and took a bite. “You know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen that look on your face outside of the bedroom.” She observed, taking a bite of her own chocolate piece. It had caramel and pecans on top and Helios eyed it, wishing she’d offer him a bite. “In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you eat sweets before in your life.”

“Well, I love sweet stuff.” Helios responded, holding out his piece as an offer for her to take a bite. He watched as her lips closed around the creamy substance and his mind went blank for a minute as she licked some of the extra cream off her top lip.

“Really? What’s your favorite flavor?” She asked, returning the favor and offering him a bite of the dark chocolate. The bitterness from the chocolate mixed with the sweetness of the caramel danced over his tongue and Helios almost moaned out then, but he swallowed the cake instead.

“I do enjoy green apple hard candies a lot.” He replied, and a complicated look danced over her features before she smiled and took another bite of her cheesecake before turning back to the TV.

Helios didn’t pay attention. He instead opted to watch her, smiling when she smiled and laughing when she did. He wasn’t much of a TV person and felt slightly guilty for taking a day off work, but watching her enjoy herself helped ease the pang of uneasiness in his stomach. She put his mind at ease, made him feel like he could let his guard down, just a little bit.

“My stomach is going to burst.” She complained after her second piece of cheesecake. “What are you doing to me?”

“Trying to immobilize you so I can have my way with you.” Helios deadpanned, poking her leg with his socked toe.

“Very funny,” turning off the TV, she crawled over to him, settling herself into his lap, her middle pressed against his crotch. “I think since it’s my birthday, I should have my way with you.”

Helios’s hands found the backs of her thighs, right under her butt where the skin was sensitive and soft. He stroked gently, and she responded in kind, moving her body against his pelvic area. “I think we both know that even if you tried, you’d be begging me to fuck you into the bed by the end of the night.” Helios whispered, one of his hands leaving her thigh and fisting in her hair.

Instead of any normal retort, she brought her mouth down harshly on his, her tongue seeking his own almost immediately.

The soft feel of her tongue was something Helios craved, almost like oxygen. He felt his mind slip into a deeper feeling of relaxation, one that he only felt when he could submerge himself in her completely, and he pulled her down harshly on him, both of their centers meeting as he thrust up in time with the pull. They both cried out then, and she pulled away from his mouth, panting out her pleas into the otherwise quiet warehouse.

“I wish I could drive you as crazy as you drive me.” She said once Helios had flipped their bodies over. There was a bead of sweat already running down the side of her face and he leaned in and licked it off, keeping his mouth close to her ear.

“Everything I do is to come back to you. When I’m out on a job, the only thing keeping me from getting hurt or killed is the thought of you. Believe me, it’s you who doesn’t realize how crazy you drive me.” Helios thrust his clothed center against her own and relished in the way she writhed beneath him, the small noises she made as he pleasured her through their clothes. “I want to make you cum in your pants.”

“I’m not a high school boy,” she objected, though Helios knew from the high pitched way her voice was raised that he was getting to her, and doing so quickly.

“When you’re ready to cum, I want you to beg for it.” Helios said, snaking his hand in between their joined bodies to rub at her clit through her leggings. She had already soaked through her panties, and Helios could tell just how turned on she was by the way his fingers were quickly starting to wet. She bit her lip to stifle a moan and Helios narrowed his eyes. It was almost as if he could feel his eyes start to shift amber, and he grabbed her neck with his hand. “Look at me.” Her previously closed eyes started to open and as she met his own eyes, normally blue but now a deep amber, they widened. “I command you to beg me to make you cum.”

She couldn’t look away, so transfixed on his eyes as he played with her, her moans now tumbling out of her mouth loudly in complete ecstasy. “Please, please make me cum. Helios, I need it.” The words came out almost unwillingly and Helios slipped his hand inside her leggings, meeting soft wetness and applying direct pressure to her clit now. Her body jerked, under him, her nipples so erect he could see it through her tee shirt. “Daddy, please.”

That sent Helios over the edge, working hard on her clit with one hand while his other palmed himself harshly through his black jeans and with one final pinch to her clit, she came undone on his fingers, a cacophony of inaudible swears and pleas leaving her mouth as she writhed underneath him. Helios continued gently stroking her through her orgasm.

She then leaned over and unbuckled Helios’s belt and pants and took his hard cock out of his pants, the precum already smeared over it from the abuse it withstood from his rubbing earlier. Without any warning, she took his length into her mouth, head bobbing up and down at a fast pace, hitting the back of her throat every couple of thrusts. Helios was already close when she came on his fingers, but the feel of her soft tongue licking as she sucked brought him over the edge and he grabbed her hair, holding his cock in her mouth as he came, his cum hit the back of her throat and forced her to swallow it.

She pulled back then, wiping the spit on the collar of her tee shirt before smirking at Helios. “Talk about cuming like a high school boy. You couldn’t even last five minutes into a blowjob.”

“Fuck you,” Helios pulled her mouth to his and kissed her harshly.

“Oh you will be in a few minutes, babe. But we’re taking this to the bed.” She stood up peeling off her wet panties and leggings before stripping out of her shirt, leaving her completely naked in the open area. “I command you to follow me.”

Helios’s mouth hung open as he watched her butt swing seductively back and forth while she walked to the bedroom and without further prompting, Helios pushed his pants off the rest of the way, quickly following behind.

[scruffyssketchbook]

I've been really inactive lately, so I'll try to get this posted.

I noticed something that might classify as a plot hole. The PC system add-on that allows pokemon to get injured.

For starters, we never get an explanation for why this add-on was added in the first place. Supposedly, Vay was loopy from his "karp krakers", and put the add-on into the PC without thinking.

Also, we never get an explanation as to how this add-on works. Or, more accurately, how the PC works. Does the PC normally prevent the eevees from feeling pain and being injured at all? For example, even if Blizz tried his hardest, punching someone would be like punching a brick wall for an average person. Or, does the PC simply heal any major injuries the eevees take on? Or is it somewhere in between?

I know that, from the perspective that this is a comic that needs drama, having the add-on allows characters to hurt each other. (See Jed and Shane.) But, from an in comic perspective, this makes no sense.

Secondly, even if we did have a good explanation for how the add-on came to be, why didn't the trainer just get rid of it. And I don't want the explanation that she's stupid. She is 16, she knows how to work a computer. Even if she didn't, she could force Vay to do it, or get Bede (The person who runs the PC system in Sinho) to do it. I also don't want the explanation that she is negligent. She is, but she took the time to look into it after Harmony got hurt. I doubt she would just turn around and do nothing after learning about the add-on.

I may be missing context here, as there is one comic page that I can't access, the page 100 variation on patreon. Maybe there's an explanation in there, but I wouldn't know.

Thirdly, even if we ignore the trainer, what about Dusk? We already know that he has tried to get Blizz to work with him in stopping Icedrop and Greenpaw from fighting. Not to beat around the bush, Greenpaw does bully Icedrop, they just do it in a more covert, mental, and emotional way than Icedrop bullies Greenpaw.

However, Blizz refuses to help, partially because both Dusk and Blizz are petty. If Dusk genuinely wants to stop Icedrop, why not just get rid of the add-on? We know Dusk can manipulate electronics, so why not just delete the add-on, either from within the PC, or sneakily from outside it? Furthermore, Dusk is not stupid. He knows that Vay added the add-on, or at least could figure that out. He and Vay are also in good relations, so why doesn't he, or hasn't he, asked Vay to get rid of the add-on?

The explanation of "Dusk is just a jerk" does not work. Dusk can be a jerk, but everything he does he does for a reason. Most of him being a jerk comes from him being egotistical, narcissistic, and thinking he knows what's best for everyone even when he doesn't.

The only explanation that works is that he doesn't get rid of the add-on due to the fact it would put Daisy and the other hospital vees out of a job.

Last, but certainly not least, is the fact that pokemon other than eevee exist in the trainer's PC. We even get to see one of the other boxes. My point here is that the other pokemon would notice something wrong eventually. Best case senario, they notice due to realizing they can feel pain. Worst, they notice due to a major injury not being healed by the PC.

Those pokemon would want to know what happened. Amusing they either are told the truth or find out on their own, why wouldn't they ask Vay to take off the add-on. If Dusk (since he is the only one I can think of who would try to spin a story) told them a lie, then would every pokemon in the entire PC believe him. Charm and smooth words can only go so far.

___________________________________________________

I have two extra questions I thought up while writing this.

Bonus question 1: How did the trainer know that Harmony was injured? Did vay tell her? She check the pokemon's health in the PC often (both stat, and convential health)?

Bonus 2: If we know pokemon can learn to read and write, then why have none of the pokemon other than Vay tried to communicate with their trainer. What is the point of using Vay as a translator, when the pokemon could just write to the trianer? Do they just want to hide how much they know?

On top of that, if pokemon can learn to use computers, what's stooping them from just using text to speech, completely circumventing Vay all together.

bonus 3: Do the pokemon age in the PC? We know Eve is around two years old, so is she physically still a newborn, or has she physically grown?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Summary/tl;dr

q1: What are the specifics of how the damage allowing add-on was put into the PC?

q2: How does this add-on, and the PC system's healing ability, work?

q3: Why didn't their trainer take the add-on off the PC?

q4: Why didn't Dusk take the add-on off the PC?

q5: Why didn't any of the other pokemon in the PC take off the add-on?

bq1: How did the trainer know that Harmony was injured?

bq2: Why don't we ever see pokemon that know how to write communicate with the trainer?

bq3: Do the pokemon physically age in the PC?

Author chan: Over here asking the important questions! Alright! I can explain!

The mod basically prevents pokemon from healing without outside means like things that can heal a pokemon, Potions, full heals, antidotes, etc etc. This is why it's called the Damage keeper mod.

Normally in the PC, pokemon can feel pain, but they will quickly heal overtime, but with the mod, it just stops this function all together. Usually in the world, it's used with the "No heal on Entrance" mod for trainers who participate in Nuzlocke challenges.

Vay inputted the Damage keeper mod into the PC for one reason, and one reason only. No, he wasn't loopy, He knew what he was doing, and added it on purpose. It was a pretty selfish decision all in all, but I can't say the reason why. It's vaguely hinted to tho. Yes! It makes no sense to have a mod like that inputted in universe. Literally no other character would ever put in this mod into the if given the chance! But, Vay put it in for a specific purpose. Said purpose was actually shown in "Battle scars". Now. Why would Vay do this? Why would he input a mod that makes all pokemon to keep the damage they receive in the box?

Well. He simply only thinks of himself. He didn't think or care about the effect the mod would have on the other pokemon in the PC, just how he could use it to do what he wanted to do. And yes. Vay is a jerk. He's my least favorite main for a reason, you know.

Next up!

As said in comic 200c, Mods are very hard to take off. Why? Well. We are dealing with actual creatures. One wrong move and hundreds of them will get corrupted and essentially die. This isn't like Minecraft, despite me comparing the PC to a minecraft server for explaining how it works to others. Since this mod affects the pokemon directly, its harder to remove because it’s just a big risk for the pokemon. This is also why Dusk cant just remove it. It is too big of a risk to all the pokemon in the PC, which there are over 1000 of at this point. Healing items and free hospitals are a temporary fix.

Also! Blizz does try to help with the bullying, as seen with comic #302, where he states "It's a misunderstanding" followed by text covered by Bolt talking/ignoring him saying "I saw a greenpaw eevee being bullied by Mike and Tike and-" Which, we see on page #298 Tike was the eevee he was punishing.

Lastly! Why don't the other pokemon notice. Well, The few who have been in a PC before do, but most of the pokemon were wild pokemon before they appeared in the PC, so they don’t know how a normal PC feels like. And ofc, how would a pokemon know who to ask about why the PC works the way it does? Mods are common in the world, cause trainers like to give PC pokemon things to do while rotting away. This is actually going to be talked about with Eevui, the new Eevee the trainer obtained via wondertrading. He was in a normal PC before he was traded, so he'd notice the difference, and will comment on it. Funny thing, I have a comic about him trying to describe the PC to pokemon who never been in one before before he goes in the trainer's pc, and it looks completely different from OUR PC box.

Bonus Questions!!

Harmony was brought out of the PC, to the pokemon center, and a nurse Joy informed her that her pokemon was badly injured.

Bro, you so right. I realized this last year and was like "omg" until I remembered that- Pokemon language is different from human language. Ofc, there are pokemon who can read human language in the world, but pokemon and human stuff are different. And in the PC, things are translated into pokemon if not already in pokemon. This does mean pokemon can write to the trainer and it can get translated, but Vay is just an easier method of translation, especially for pokemon who have a harder time reading, writing, and typing (also there are different pokemon languages as well so oof) then like. Not every pokemon knows how to read and write. It’s a privlage usually given only to few captive pokemon. Wild pokemon learning how to read/write in their own language is VERY RARE, especially due to the lack of materials. And the only civilized boxes in the PC are box 1, 2, and 3, so only pokemon living in those boxes have a reason to learn how to read, and resources to learn.

Pokemon are born the height that they stay at all their life, unless they evolve. (Or are Nego. The little weirdo) This is to mimic how it is in pokemon games. So, no. Pokemon don't physically grow. They DO mentally age however. Pokemon tend to age mentally at different rates, so for example, a newborn who is immediately thrusted into situations not meant for a baby (ie, breeding, battling, contests) will mentally age faster than someone (like Eve) Who has stayed in the PC all their life. Nego and Eve are about the same age (Nego being 6 months older) Yet, Nego acts like an infant while Eve does not. This is because Nego ages physically and mentally like a human, while Eve ages quicker mentally, like pokemon do. This also tends to mean that when a pokemon is born doesn't matter much, as they can mentally be ahead or behind.

I hope these answered your questions!! I like talking about SSEC world building! (Its just that I never have the chance to talk about it in detail QuQ)

[zebrabaker]

Pain, Loss, and Recovery; Part 9

Here it is, as agreed! If anyone wants added to the taglist, please send an ask!  Remember, Patrons get early access, even Basic, which is only $5 a month, while VIP is $9 a month. I also made a ko-fi if you guys want to help me out!

PLEASE COMMENT

Marinette, after spending several minutes cooing over the motorcycle and the helmet he had presented her (it was pink with a cherry tree design on the sides, and custom made) she leapt into his arms again.

“Thank you, Dami. I needed this. Not the motorcycle, obviously, but the distraction.”

“Of course, malaki. I’m always here for you. We all are, from Alfred to Cass, we’re here for- oh no.” Damian blanched.

“Dami?” Marinette asked from his arms, craning her neck to look at him.

“We forgot to tell Cass.” He whipped out his phone, and groaned when he saw the screen. There was over a dozen missed calls from his youngest sister, and almost twenty texts.

“What? Oh, she’s probably so worried!” Marinette gasped. Damian frantically dialed, calling Jason to assess the damage.

“Demon Spawn, where the hell are you? You, Bruce, and Dick just up and disappeared, and took Alfred with you! No one has called us or even texted! Cas is flipping out!”

“Todd, shut up. We left for Paris. Tom and Sabine have…” He glanced at Marinette whose joy was gone, replaced with concern and sadness. “passed away. I’m just calling to tell you that we won’t be home for some time. Tell Cassandra, one of us will call with more information soon.”

“Demon Spawn, wait! You can’t ju –” Damian hung up and shoved his phone in his pocket, sighing. “Those back home have been informed of the basics. Now, I had Chloe bring a pair of your leggings, your sneakers, a leather jacket for each of us, and I brought my helmet. Want to take it out for a spin?” He gestured at the bike, and Marinette bounced in place.

“Yes!” She squealed, running back into the building.

X0X0X

They zoomed down the streets, bobbing and weaving through traffic. Marinette was pure grace on her bike, dancing between cars and trucks, guiding the motorcycle like it was second nature. He was sitting behind her, arms around her waist as she leaned into a turn. He leaned with her, taking the turn so sharp that they were almost parallel to the asphalt. They came to a stop in front of the bakery, and Marinette dropped the kick stand with an easy flick of her ankle. She reached back and tapped his knee, and he dismounted the bike, pulling off his helmet with the ease of practice. Marinette slid off the bike and removed her helmet, shaking out her hair, which was partially matted to her head with sweat. With the way the sun touched the horizon behind her, and how her hair shined in the light, she looked just like an angel. He felt his ears burn a bit, and he cleared his throat to grab her attention.

“Dami?” She asked, staring up at him. He coughed a bit, emotions clogging his throat. She looked at him who was so damaged and broken, with such trust, so much love, and all he could do was try to give her the world in exchange.

“You mentioned when we talked last week that a new fabric shop opened and you hadn’t had a chance to go yet. Would you want to go now? The SUV is parked in the garage, and I can park your bike while you change.”

“Really? That sounds fantastic, my knight. Let me run up to my room and change, I’ll be quick, promise!” She ran past him, froze, ran back, pecked him on the cheek, and ran off again. He chuckled, grabbing the handlebars of the motorcycle and carefully walking it back to the small garage behind the bakery.

After waiting almost twenty minutes, he began to worry. Marinette was picky with her outfits, but she never took more than fifteen minutes to get changed. Killing the engine, he stepped out of the car and made his way in through the back door. He was in the living room when he heard it. Muffled sobs, echoing from the ajar trap door to Marinette’s room. He bolted up the stairs, before freezing. His angel was sitting on the floor, still in her dress from the funeral. She was sobbing, no, bawling her heart out, clutching something to her chest.

“Malaki, mahbub, nur hayati, I’m here. Please, what has you so upset? All I want is to fix this, to see you whole once more. What’s wrong?” He dropped to his knees behind her, setting a hand on her shoulder. She couldn’t even seem to hear him, so lost in her pain. Damian gently scooped her into his arms, cradling her to his chest as he stood, walking over to her chaise. He may not be able to calm her down, but one of the many things Dick had taught him in the last seven years was that sometimes, crying was a good thing.

After far too long, her sobs abated. He stopped rocking back and forth (It had been an attempt to soothe her, okay? He wasn’t the best at emotions!) when he heard a few sniffles, and looked down to see his angel staring blankly at her knees, still curled into a tiny ball.

“Hey, malaki.” He murmured, hoping to catch her attention. Luckily, he succeeded. She blinked a few times, before looking up at him.

“I…I don’t know if I can do this.” She whispered after a few seconds of staring at him.

“Do what, my luck?” Finally caving to the urge, he shuffled his legs a little under her. She shifted herself to the side, curling up beside him so that she was in the fetal position with her head against his chest.

“I can’t be strong anymore. I’ve….” Taking a shuddering breath, she pressed on. “I’ve tried so hard to be strong, first against Chloe, then for all of Paris, then Lila and Paris at the same time, and I’ve been doing it for years. I’m tired, Damian. I’m so tired, and I can’t even rest yet.” She sounded so shattered, and something in his chest raged, raged at the fact that Marinette, his perfect, amazing, wonderful angel, had been made to face this alone, that she’d not been willing to turn to him for this. He swore, then and there, to make everyone who ever hurt her pay.

[ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes]

Dawn in Your Eyes Part 19

Summary: Alfie has little to no idea why Caroline ever gave him the time of day. The blind woman seemed far too sensible to even speak to him. But soon he finds himself falling helplessly in love.

Part 19: She has red hair.

            “Mornin’ Timothy.” Alfie reached into his pocket to retrieve a few coins.

            “Good to see you, Mr. Solomons.” However, the young boy didn’t smile when he handed over the newspaper.

            “Bad news?” Alfie put the coins in the boy’s hand and unfolded the paper.

            “Hurrah for the Blackshirts!”

            Alfie frowned, reading the headline a couple of times to see if it was a joke or not. “Unbelievable.” He mumbled.

            Timothy didn’t know what the headline meant but everyone he sold the paper to had a similar reaction. No one in the Jewish community was happy this type of ideology was gaining support. It was most likely why those men had been spreading propaganda around his street like Candace had seen.

            “People are really thick sometimes, Timothy.” Alfie sighed and tucked the newspaper under his arm. “All I’ve got to say ‘bout that.”

            “Mr. Solomons!” Someone shouted from down the street. “Mr. Solomons!”

            He turned to see Candance making a mad dash toward him. “Where’s Caroline?” Of course, past events made him terrified. Had she been taken again while he was gone? Had something happened?

            “She’s at home. Her water broke.” She was gasping for air by the time she reached him.

            Alfie stared blankly at her. “Erm…her what?”

            “She’s gone into labor, the baby’s coming.”

~~~~~~~~~~ 

            Pilot was frustrated beyond belief. There were too many people in his space and they just kept arriving. First Alfie and Candace returned back and shooed the Newfoundland away from Caroline. Then Julia arrived. Next was Elizabeth and Richard. They were all talking at once, arguing about things Pilot didn’t understand. More family members arrived, cousins and aunts who all had a say. And they all took up space, blocking Pilot’s access to Caroline. The large dog paced back and forth but couldn’t get to the bedroom.

            Finally fed up, Pilot snapped at Richard who was standing by the stairs.

            “Oi, what’s that about, aye?” Alfie frowned and grabbed the dog by the harness. “C’mon, you and your brothers can wait in the study.” He herded the three dogs into his study and shut the door.

           ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            Caroline was up in the bedroom, things had been chaotic ever since her water broke and she sent Candace to find Alfie. Her husband had arrived in a panic. He called practically the entire family over because he had no idea what to do.

            Julia sat beside her niece, holding her hand reassuringly. “Call Hanna again.” She instructed Alfie.

            “She’s already left the house, she won’t answer the fucking phone,” Alfie replied as he paced by the door.   

            “Alfie, please take a deep breath,” Caroline begged. “Everything is going to be okay.”

            “Right, I trust that, yeah, but I ain’t ever had a kid before so I don’t fucking know what to do.” Despite the long months, Alfie realized that he still wasn’t prepared to be a father. Of course, he wasn’t sure if he ever would be. There wasn’t a manual for parenting.

            “Just sit down.” Julia moved from her niece’s side to pull a chair up next to the bed. “Sit down, I’ll get you tea. There’s no telling how long she’ll be in labor.”

            It was the first time that Alfie really trusted that Julia knew best about the situation. Although she wasn’t a mother herself, she’d been present at several births before. So he listened and sat down.

            “Where’s Pilot?” Caroline asked as her husband took her hand in his.

            “I put him in the study with Apollo and Cyril. He made a go for Richard, which is fucking hilarious, innit? But I figured it be best, right, if they were kept away from all the madness. Like a family reunion down there.”

            “Promise me you won’t let all of them in here.” She moaned in horror at the thought of all the family crowding around her.

            “’Course not, they’ll stay downstairs. They just wanted to be here for support. Think Elizabeth wants the first to see the baby, me aunt is probably already cooking, and well, you know how news spreads.”

            Caroline laughed softly. “I know.”

            He smiled and brushed back her hair. “You scared?” He wondered, mostly because he was terrified.

            “I was initially. But, I’m not right now.” She took a deep breath and rested their joined hands over her stomach. “Maybe I will be later but I…I know that we’ll be okay. I’m not scared with you here.”

            “I love you.” He whispered and leaned forward to kiss her forehead.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~           

            A couple of hours later, Caroline was much further into her labor. Hanna, the midwife had arrived and was coaching her through breathing as they checked progress.

            Alfie and Julia remained by Caroline’s side. She clutched onto her husband’s hand as she cried through the contractions. It gutted Alfie, knowing there was nothing he could do but let her squeeze the daylights out of his hand.

            As if the room wasn’t chaotic enough, the sound of howling had started up downstairs.   

            “That’s Pilot.” Caroline panted.

            “Why’s he howling?” Alfie hadn’t so much as heard the dog bark a few times before. He was a silent giant in and outside the house.

            “He must hear Caroline.” Julia stood up. “I’ll go get him.”

            Alfie furrowed his brow. “You think it’s a good idea to have a fucking dog here right now?” But Julia had already left.

            “It’s okay.” Caroline closed her eyes and braced herself through another contraction.

            “Keep breathing,” Hanna instructed from the foot of the bed.

            “Keep breathing, love.” Alfie echoed and dabbed the sweat from Caroline’s face. “Almost done.” At least, he prayed it was almost done. He was anxious to come out of the labor with everything going okay. He wanted to be assured that his wife and child both made it out safely. Healthy and happy. That’s all he needed. He would set fire to everything in his life if it meant they were happy at the end of the day. That was the first promise he would make to his child.

            The door opened and a big mass of fur pushed his way to the side of the bed. Pilot nosed his way to Caroline’s hand, gently licking it to reassure her that he was there.

            “Oh, good boy.” Caroline couldn’t find the strength to reach out to pat him.

            “She’s alright,” Alfie assured the dog, giving him a loving scratch behind the ears.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~          

            Pilot, from then on, remained one of Caroline’s supporters in the room. One could argue that he was one of her calmest supporters as he remained a large, peaceful presence in the room. Meanwhile, Alfie was constantly reminding his wife to breathe even when she was breathing. He was only trying to mask his absolute panic.

            “Alright, here we go.” Hanna alerted. “Big push!”

            Caroline let out a pained yell and dug her fingernails into Alfie’s hand.

            He didn’t protest one bit. “Hear ya, love. I’ve gotcha, m’right here.” He couldn’t imagine the kind of pain or strength she had to endure to give birth. It was something he wasn’t keen on thinking about because it would make him grimace in discomfort. Alfie had known pain but he wasn’t sure any of it came close to childbirth.

            “It’s a girl!” Hanna announced as she moved the newborn to a blanket.

            “A girl!” Julia gasped with joy.

            Alfie looked up and it felt like the world was spinning a bit slower. There she was. His child. His daughter. “Fucking hell,” He let out a shaky laugh and felt his eyes sting with the onset of tears. “Look at her. Oh, Carrie’s she’s got your aunt’s red hair. S’like fire, it is.” He laughed and shook his head.

            Then the baby let out a wail that could probably be heard from France.

            “Well, she certainly sounds like a Solomons.” Julia quipped.

            “Let me clean her up.” Hanna wrapped the crying child in a blanket and brought her into the bathroom.

            “She’s healthy?” Caroline asked.

            Alfie turned to answer but was met with a grim sight. His wife looked deathly pale and suddenly didn’t seem to have any energy. “Carrie? Are you okay?” He quickly moved back to her side.     

            “Is she healthy?” She asked again, ignoring or simply not hearing her husband’s question.

            Julia looked alarmed too. “Caroline…” She touched her niece’s face.

            “Did she look healthy? Is anything wrong?” Her voice grew fainter.

            “Hanna!” Alfie shouted for the midwife.

            That’s when Julia gasped. She lifted the sheets near Caroline, showing Alfie a dark red stain. 

Permanent Tag: @papa-geralt-of-cirilla​ @giftofdreams​ @biba3434​ @kimmietea​ @karmezii​

Tag list: @zazasblogxx​ @thinkingsofamadwoman​ @deaflikehawkeye​ @bellarkebxtch​ @evelynshelby​

Masterlist 

[renaerys]

11. “You’re going to make it. Just stay awake.” (Butch/Buttercup)

{{Original posting unfortunately deleted. Reposted here.}}

February Fic Prompt #11 originally requested by Anon. Greens shenanigans and hella innuendo, just the way I like them.

xxx

Everybody knew that the best person to go on night patrol with was Boomer. The guy talked but not nearly as much as Bubbles, who could probably talk herself through an earthquake and never even notice. He wasn’t a micromanager like Blossom or a straight-up jerk like Brick. And he definitely was not even half as annoying as Butch could be.

“You ever wonder what the fuck is up with Monster Island?”

Butch sat next to Buttercup on the Millennium Tower, the tallest building in Townsville, with their feet dangling over the edge and the city lights at their feet. She narrowed her eyes at him. “No.”

He ignored her. “You know, ‘cause that place is what, three? Four square miles? And the monsters just keep coming.”

“What’s your point?” Buttercup said, not really caring. Her watch read a quarter past midnight. She should’ve been in bed an hour ago.

Butch suddenly leaned in close, and Buttercup leaned back away from him. He looked very serious, and that almost always meant he was about to say something mad dumb—

“Giant beast orgies.”

Buttercup groaned. It was going to be a long night.

“For real! They must be going at it 24/7 poppin’ out tentacle monsters and dino hybrids and flaming squirrels at the rate we fight ‘em. How does that even work? Like, are they all just fucking and it’s Baby Roulette to see what’s gonna come out?”

“Dude, gross. I don’t want to think about that shit.”

“Pssh, don’t lie.”

“I’m really not.”

“You’re not even a little bit curious about what kinda Stranger Things shit is going down right over the bay?” Butch pointed southwest toward Citiesville’s Golden Bay, where the aptly named Monster Island sat a few miles off the coast. “Like the Booger Monster we fought before the Reds fucked off to Snob College. How does that even work?”

He made a crude gesture with this fist and forefinger and then pantomimed picking his nose. Buttercup shoved him off the edge of the building.

“Cut it out, Butch. I said I don’t want to talk about that shit.” She grabbed the backpack he’d brought and pulled out a bag of chips. “Besides, there’s nothing to talk about. It’s just weird monster biology, end of story.”

Butch floated one hundred stories above the ground and grinned at her. “So you have wondered about it.”

“Clearly not as much as you, Horny Darwin.”

He threw back his head and laughed from his gut. Buttercup scowled and stuffed some chips in her mouth. The crunch helped her focus, but her eyes were drooping and her head felt a bit fuzzy.

“Hey, you okay?” Butch was no longer laughing as he hovered close and peered at Buttercup. “You look tired.”

Buttercup cast the chips aside. They weren’t really helping, and she wasn’t hungry, anyway. She ran a hand through her shoulder-length hair. “Yeah, I woke up at 4 a.m. today.”

“Why the hell would you wake up that early on a patrol night?”

“Because I wasn’t supposed to be patrolling tonight, you were.”

“Oh, right. I forgot.”

Not surprising. Butch tended to tune out shit that didn’t directly concern him, especially if it was coming from Blossom. She’d called Buttercup at four in the goddamned morning ranting about some giant hairball monster that had attacked Ivy University campus and how Brick had been so sleep deprived that they’d both nearly suffocated to death and she had to help him to bed and somehow all of this was now Buttercup’s problem because Blossom knew they were patrolling alone for only a few hours to get out of it but no one should be patrolling alone in case of giant hairballs attacking. Buttercup pointed out that the likelihood of another giant hairball attacking Townsville, which was clear across the country from Blossom and Brick’s college, was pretty low. Blossom told her to cut the attitude and make sure Butch didn’t patrol alone tonight. She did not have time to argue when she had to go convince the administration to change Brick’s finals schedule so he could actually get some sleep.

And since Boomer and Bubbles were currently out of town at a music festival until tomorrow, Buttercup had no choice but to be here tonight.

“Ugh, whatever. Did you bring any of those energy shots? I’m about to pass out,” Buttercup said.

Butch sat back down next to her and pulled his bag onto his lap. “You know that shit’s basically radioactive rat piss.”

“This from the guy who scarfed three bacon double cheeseburgers on the flight over here.”

He grinned wolfishly and flexed his bicep at her. “Hey, this hot bod doesn’t get by on yogurt and protein shakes alone. A man needs red meat.”

“A man needs less cholesterol in his diet if he wants to live past 40.”

“See, this is why it’d never work between us. Sorry doll, I gotta lead with my stomach.”

Buttercup snapped at that awful pet name he’d taken to calling her lately and swung around to punch him in the stomach. He caught her fist just as it made contact, absorbing the brunt of her force, and met her eyes. The son of a bitch was still grinning.

“Don’t fucking call me that,” she hissed. Her fist shook and sparked with green energy as she tried to finish her punch, but he held on.  

Halfway under her as she threw her weight behind her stalled punch, Butch’s smile relaxed into something softer but just as dangerous as he looked up at her through his messy bangs. “You kinda like it.”

Buttercup dug her knee into his thigh right over the femoral artery, and he shuddered. “Yeah, this is me liking it.”

She applied more pressure, and he gasped. His other hand grabbed her shoulder and threw her off him, but Buttercup rolled and landed on her hands and feet in a crouch. Butch matched her guerrilla stance and they faced off on top of the world with the stars at their backs and thunder in their veins.

“Still gonna pass out?” he asked.

“What?”

“You said you were about to pass out. Is this any better?”

Buttercup frowned. He’d provoked her on purpose to distract her from her sleepiness? That was almost…

He got up and stretched like a cat, and Buttercup couldn’t help but notice the subtle ridges of his abs when his dark shirt ran up for just a moment. Clearly he was excelling at that gym trainer job he’d been at full-time since they graduated high school.

Not that that mattered at all.

She got up and wiped her hands on her jeans. “A little, I guess. Still tired as shit though.”

Butch cracked his neck like he was getting ready to fight, but he wasn’t. For as long as she had known him, Buttercup had always been able to sense when he felt the urge, just as he could sense it in her. Primal, instinctual, not just a need but a desire to ruin and be ruined all for the manic joy of surviving it. She felt it less the older she got once her body stopped changing and growing, but every couple of months they would inevitably seek each other out for a row. Not even monsters could quite scratch that particular itch. If anything, they exacerbated it.

“Sweet. I got a few other ideas,” he said.

Buttercup crossed her arms. “You get ideas?”

“Ha ha, you bitch. I’m serious.”

She cracked a smile. “We’re on patrol.”

“Yeah, so let’s go patrol.”

“What’re you—”

He took off in a blaze of green, not flying but running down the side of the Millennium Tower, dodging balconies and flipping off the flagpole like some kind of insane Super gymnast. He didn’t lose momentum when he landed and took off running across the busy street toward the next building.

Buttercup was dashing after him before she could think twice about it, to hell with staying here by herself. She slid over the roofs of two cars crossing the street and leaped from balcony to balcony as she climbed the next building higher and higher. Butch had already made it to the top and paused to look back at her. His smiling challenge boiled her blood, and he took off sprinting again along the drain pipes. Buttercup flipped over the guard railing on the roof, sprinted to the other side, and leaped off the edge in a free fall.

The night wind whipped her loose hair, and she somersaulted to cushion her landing on the pedestrian sky bridge connecting this building to the next. Butch slid down the drain pipe and landed similarly a short ways ahead on the glass and metal bridge. They faced off, and she couldn’t help but grin fantastically at the sight of him winded and emanating green power, ready to run.

They didn’t speak, there was no need. He took off and she tore after him, each carving their own path leaping concrete chasms, rolling into their falls, and racing against gravity and mortality up the mirror-bright sides of skyscrapers. Buttercup cartwheeled through a narrow path between two huge AC generators and landed like a cat on the metal railing, where she spotted an enormous tower crane powered down for the night in the midst of a new construction project. It was tens of stories tall, and she wanted nothing more than to run up its mast.

Butch had the same idea and leaped like a monkey from the roof of the building next to hers and grabbed the jib. He hit it with the force of a Super, and the huge machinery whined and began to swing. Buttercup abandoned her original plan for one that would be a thousand times cooler. Moving fast, she raced along the thin railing and pedaled through her jump to get her across to the next building over. The crane groaned in protest as Butch sprinted along the length of the jib. She wouldn’t have much of a window.

With a running start, Buttercup scrambled up the wall of the roof access door and jumped high into the air just as the long, metal winch cord came swinging by. She grabbed it barely in the nick of time and went spinning.

Above, she searched for Butch and found that he wasn’t slowing his momentum even as he neared the end of the jib. Buttercup gave the winch cord a little extra boost of her power and went careening high into the air on an updraft just as Butch free-dived off the jib. The night air parted for her and the stars fell to meet her as she reached out, elated, and Butch reached back.

They joined hands at the wrists, and Buttercup moved with gravity and the momentum he’d brought with him before it could wrench her arm clean out of the socket. Together, they hurtled through the air, bounced off a radio tower pole, and landed in a two-man roll on a private rooftop golf course.

Butch was laughing when they came to a stop in a heap on the green, and Buttercup laughed with him. He had his arms around her as she hovered over him.

“That was,” he stammered, breathless.

“Amazing!” Buttercup said.

“Fucking incredible! Holy shit, when you ran for the winch cord—”

“I didn’t think I’d stick it for a second—”

“But you did and I swear I lost my goddamned mind—”

“You jumped! You fucking idiot, you’re lucky I was there to catch you.” Buttercup shoved him, but he only laughed again and held her waist tighter.

“Woman please, how could you ever resist the chance to catch this hot shit? I saw your face, you totally creamed yourself!”

“Fuck you, it was the moment and I wasn’t even looking at you!”

They could hardly breathe as they laughed, and gravity rolled them over. The grass was cool under Buttercup’s cheek, and above the stars were bright and close. Slowly, the moment subsided as they caught their breaths and watched each other through the gloom.

“I kinda knew you’d catch me,” Butch said.

Buttercup rolled her eyes. “I regret it already.”

“Sure you do.”

He was smiling, but there was no mocking or malice behind it. Strangely enough, Buttercup thought it suited him.

She pulled away before she could finish that dangerous train of thought, and he let her without making a big deal out of it. They sat up side by side and looked out over the city and the ocean beyond. Monster Island was dark, but the detection barrier surrounding it glowed a subtle blue in the starlight and city lights.

“Five and a half hours until sunrise,” Butch said, checking his watch.

Buttercup groaned. “That’s so long from now.”

He nudged her shoulder with his. “You’re gonna make it. Just stay awake.”

“Wow, genius plan.” She nudged him back.

“Hey, I got plenty more ideas where Super Parkour came from. Just say the word.”

Buttercup allowed herself a smile in the darkness. Butch could drive her crazy, but over the years she’d gotten used to his self-indulgent vulgarity. Sometimes she didn’t mind. Sometimes it was just kind of nice. Familiar. A pull she couldn’t explain or describe, except that she knew he felt it too, and he always knew exactly what she needed.

“In a few minutes,” Buttercup said, her eyes drooping a bit as sleep crept up on her little by little.

She could feel his warmth through her sleeve and his, close enough to touch, close enough.

“Yeah,” he said, and turned his gaze skyward. “Just a few more minutes.”

They had all night, after all.

[tarithenurse]

The good Villain - 7

Based on the prompt “You’re the villain and you know that you just want the ‘good guys’ to understand why”

Pairing: Loki x Fem!Reader (eventually) Content: Parley? Chips, yearning, dealing with trauma.

Chapter 7

…   Reader   …

You have never in your life enjoyed standing up before a crowd. Speeches, attention, gawking silence. None of it was your glass of kwah, and even less so when the audience consists of a bunch of people carrying a grudge who have only just agreed to release you from prison. Still, a sideways glance at Loki helps steel the nerves. I can use their help, anyways.

Quietly, searching for the right way to express yourself better than the translation device can do on its own, you explain about the mission that brought you and your team to the seemingly vacant facility. If only I had known. Like in the ghost stories for adolescents, a worse faith than death had been waiting to suck out the very essence of each crewmember, leaving them crumbled on the floor as empty husks with heartbeats, and while the first apparently had been swift and painless attacks…each member of the Avengers turns pale as you describe the effects of what you learned to be a Soul Leech’s feeding ritual.

Confusion comes first, replaced by a skin-prickling mix of understanding and fear. The kind of terror that creeps in from the darkest corners and weighs a person down with leaden chains as the body no longer is under their control. Then comes the complacency. Dulling their senses and the will to fight except in short bursts of clarity where desperation flares like bombs going off in their mind to illuminate – for no more than a second – what they have lost and what is about to slip away for ever. They know beyond a doubt what is happening but cannot change the horrible fate.

You had heard their strangled cries echo, smothered by the faintest whimpering before that too seized and all there was left was silent pleading. It had compelled you to end the life of five, instinctually knowing that they were about to suffer a fate worse than death. Your second in command had come staggering towards you with the last teammate trailing behind, both dazed and confused and all too keen to accept orders without questions or concerns about the fate of the rest of the crew whom they helped carry on board, only leaving a child behind riddled with wounds. Dead. The youngling had to be dead, you were sure…but something made you linger on the threshold to the airlock.

By the time your heartrate returned to normal, the research station was ablaze.

“You tracked them here?” Stark is not really asking as much as trying to organize his thoughts aloud.

There is a pain in Barnes’ eyes when he looks up at you. “The two survivors?”

“Padded cells,” you grimace at the croak in your voice, “barely remember any of their lives.”

The redhaired woman is more calms than the rest, clearly analyzing the situation like any other mission report. “Why through the chin ‘nd up?”

“Not noticeable at first glance by the authorities…gives me time to either eliminate new targets, move on.”

“Smart.” Of course. “How many targets left?”

“Unless they have multiplied…just one.”

 …   Loki   …

Something has shifted within the God of Mischief. What had simply been a slight infatuation fueled by curiosity starts to fill his thoughts at all times, and while the memory of [Y/N]’s smile brings him joy it also bothers him to the point where he often finds himself walking the empty halls at night in the hopes of a distraction.

One such night, he passes the room [Y/N] has been provided as replacement for the cell to find the door ajar and a sliver of light streaming out. Not a sound can be heard. She must have left to retrieve something.

Hesitating for only a heartbeat, Loki slips in after checking the coast is clear. One look. Now that it has been accepted that she may not be a simple murderer, she has gotten her belongings back

Displayed along the long desk by the window are the weapons laid out in neat rows next to a few tools he assumes are for maintenance. At the foot end of the bed sits the backpack with the contents tightly rolled except for a set of clothes and the heavy boots over by the chair to the left. All of it is easy to access and even the weapons stash can be rolled up in a makeshift container and carried with ease. Easy to get ready for a fight or escape.

Already, his hands are itching to move things around maybe even take one of the lovely knives for himself, just to tease the Betan, and stepping closer Loki is already making up which one to slip away with when something hard presses into his back right between the shoulder blades.

“Explain yourself,” [Y/N] hisses coldly.

She won’t kill me…I’m her first ally and the only one that has lived up to a promise that made a difference. Self-assured and ready for a bit of fun, he spins around and adeptly catches and twists her arm to deflect whatever weapon she carries…but the only thing dropping to the floor is a bag of chips. In a swift move, Loki has her wrists in each of his hands (the difference in size now the cast apparently has been removed is obvious), her arms crossed under her bosom and back against his torso.

“Not this time, my dear,” he chuckles into the multicoloured hair.

They are cheap moves, stomping on his foot and banging the skull into his face, but they hold the element of surprise thus serving the purpose and before his vision has cleared again, he is lying on the floor.

“Yes, also this time.”

Perhaps shame or anger would be more fitting at this moment, however it is admiration that fills his heart and he cannot help the smile playing across his face as he stares up at the woman. Even now, dressed in soft shorts and a pink t-shirt that clearly does not belong to her, [Y/N] still maintains all her strength and poise.

“You are staring.” Even the furrowing brows are a shimmer of blue and green.

Naturally, pet. “Simply admiring the view from down here. You should join me.”

She does not. Picking up the fallen bag, she throws herself onto the bed with a sigh. The foil of the snack crinkles as it is torn open, and Loki finds a new smile growing on his lips at the sound of appreciation escaping her with the first crunch. It is so easy to imagine how slender fingers carry the golden slices to the darkened lips where the tongue slips out to aid in bringing the prize home in a cheeky yet delectable manner before the mouth closes in a tiny pout.

Deciding he has to see it the Asgardian sits up only to have the air stolen from his lungs at the sight of the splayed out figure. Oh, there is no doubt [Y/N] knows that he is staring…still she does not stir, not even when Loki takes a corner of the bed to sit on. Not when he scoots closer, a hand reaching forward undecided what the movement is meant to grant him.

“One more inch, and you will be half the male you are now.”

As Loki lies in the darkness of his own room, the mesmerizing shimmer in [Y/N]’s dark eyes is the last memory to flutter through his mind before sleep claims him.

[existing-on-cloral]

In case you didn't know this, I'm also on Archiveofourown under the same username! On there, you will find the fanfiction that I will begin posting here today. Therefore, without further ado,

Brooklyn's Night Terrors

A Steve Rogers X Reader fanfiction

The pretty scientist working to eradicate a vigilante villain catches the eye of the former Captain America. He jumps back into the time machine, becoming young again in order to live out a new life with his best friends, and perhaps her.

Paradise has a price, however.

The tracked vigilante kidnaps Sam Wilson and leaves the shield for Steve to take up one last time. Reluctantly, Steve takes on the mantle of Captain America once more as he teams up with his old pal Bucky Barnes and the beautiful and deadly smart scientist.

"Lust can cloud the mind, but love makes it clear as day."

Chapter One: Night Calls

He was tired.

So very tired of having to throw around a stupid Frisbee just to save the world, only for it to be attacked again.

Steve just wanted a little peace and quiet for once in his life.

He didn't regret the choices he made. But now, Bucky could barely look at him. Maybe there was a little regret there, just for his best friend.

Still, the life he had chosen didn't prevent him from wanting to still know what was going on. Sam took him down to a new office a few months after Steve returned to look at what new and interesting villains might be threatening the city.

"Serious Predicaments Evolving Citywide and In All Locations," Sam read, pushing Steve's wheelchair up the accessible ramp. "The officers call it S.P.E.C.I.A.L."

Steve smiled. "At least the world isn't done with insane acronyms."

Sam laughed. "You got that right. Did you hear what happened with that kid Tony brought to the battles?" His tone turned serious, even as they went through the spinning door. Sam loved spinning doors. "Tony left an AI for Peter, E.D.I.T.H. Even Dead I'm The Hero."

"Heard something like that, but I just remember what happened in London." Steve shivered. "Almost makes me want to take the shield back."

"Almost?" Sam teased. "You're not getting this back, man."

Steve chuckled as they headed further inside, towards what Sam described as "smart women central". "A lot of the scientists here are actually women. Turns out they are a bit smarter than us," Sam explained, stopping the wheelchair outside of the lab.

"That they are," Steve said, leaning forward, even though that didn't help his back, and watching the scene inside. All of the people inside except one were staring up at the board, where a woman stood, giving a presentation.

Sam whistled. "That's the top scientist. She's won two Nobel Prizes, one for Physics and one for Peace. Eradicated a lot of threats that could have destroyed a lot more than a couple of cities."

"Oh, so when she does it, she's 'internationally recognized' and 'a hero'," Steve joked. "But when we do it, we're 'dangerous' and 'need to be put in check'."

"The difference," Sam snickered as he headed for the door, "is that she didn't save a city by destroying it."

He opened the door, and the scientist's voice drifted out. "...we believe that this vigilante may have obtained the time machine used to send the Avengers back in time to collect the six Infinity Stones. Our theory is that she will use it to bring back the Winter Soldier and perhaps Agent Romanoff, before Romanoff was taken in by S.H.I.E.L.D."

Graciously, Sam propped the door open so Steve could still listen, then went inside, leaning down to tell a scientist a joke. "Doctor!" he greeted her, taking an empty chair in the second row.

"Thanks for coming, Captain," she returned with a wink. "Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to present Sam Wilson, who, as usual, is fashionably late to the party." She grinned, stepping aside and offering the floor to Sam.

Sam, with his usual theatrics, stood and strutted to the front of the room. "This vigilante is dangerous. We are absolutely sure of that, but we believe that we can and will beat her. The only time machine she has is the van used by Scott Lang, so the Avengers still have their own time machine. What we are hoping for is that we can pinpoint the moment she plans to capture the Winter Soldier and intercept her there. This is, of course, a last-ditch resort in case we don't take her down while we are in this time."

Steve watched, impressed. Sam had always been confident, but he hadn't really spoken in front of people a lot. This was new for Sam, and he was doing an excellent job at it. His eyes flicked to the scientist, who was watching Sam with interest. He smiled to himself, turning his attention back to Sam, who was saying something about how the heroes would win and he was confident in their success.

When they left the building after Sam's pep talk, Steve instructed Sam to take him to the old Avengers facility upstate. "I'd like to see if Bruce can make some adjustments to the time machine. They can be reversed and we'll still have the machine if we need it."

Sam relented after more pleading. Even the grit of Sam Wilson was no match for Old Man Steve's puppy dog eyes.

"You sure this is safe, Bruce?" Bucky asked, keeping an eye on Steve as he hobbled over to the time machine.

"67% sure," Bruce said, fiddling with the controls. "Should be adjusted correctly." He pressed a button and Steve was sucked into the machine.

Bucky rubbed his face. "Bruce, any second now I'd like my best friend back."

Bruce pressed another button and Steve flew back out. He looked young again, but-

Steve began to cough violently, clearly struggling to stay on his feet.

"Send him back in! That's teenage Steve!" Bucky yelled, running over and grabbing Bruce's arm.

"Okay, okay!" Bruce said. He pressed another button and Steve went back in. A few seconds later, Bruce pressed another button and he came back out, this time appearing to be the Steve from seconds before he returned the Infinity Stones.

Steve took off the helmet and shook out his hair. "Am I blond again?" he asked.

Bucky laughed. "Always have been on the inside."

"Was that a dumb blonde joke?" a voice asked from the door. Sharon Carter strode inside, leading the scientist from the presentation with her. "Just wanted to bring up my favorite doctor to see the time machine and what we've got to work with."

Bucky gave the agent a playful smile. "All in good fun, Agent Carter."

"I see our old hero is young again," you said, walking up to Steve. "The world is grateful for everything you've done for it, Captain."

Steve offered you his hand, and you took it. "Thank you for your kind words, but I think I've had enough avenging for one lifetime."

"More than one, from what I gather just took place," you joked.

Bucky cleared his throat. "We've got business to take care of, Doctor. Thanks for stopping by."

You turned away from Steve. "Right. Thank you, Mr. Barnes." You gave him a warm smile and Bucky smiled back.

Steve sighed. It was back to the 40's all over again. Bucky flirted with a girl and Steve had to sit there and watch. Still, he didn't even know your name.

"Oh! Where are my manners?" You spun back to Steve and told him your name, a smile crossing your face at the end of it, as if your own name was the greatest delight in the world. He tested it out, and found that saying your name gave him joy too, but no more joy than when you gave him a wink, a nod, said, "Steve," and then left, dragging Sharon with her.

Bucky strolled over to Steve, giving his friend a smirk. "Someone's got the hots for a scientist," he sang, ruffling Steve's hair.

Steve swatted his hand away.

"Just think!" Bucky joked, "if she'd walked in a few minutes ago, your life could have become Grumpy Old Men!"

"I understood that reference, and I wish I didn't understand that reference," Steve groaned. "Stop, Buck."

Bucky laughed. "Sorry, Steve, I couldn't help myself."

Bruce cleared his throat. "Who wants to help me fix the time machine in case S.P.E.C.I.A.L. needs it?"

Steve sighed and headed over to help Bruce. With Bucky's sense of humor, it was going to be a long day.

Sharon gave you a poke once you two were in the hallway. "You never wear makeup to work."

"I'm not wearing makeup," you shot back.

She rolled her eyes and grabbed your arm, stopping you in your tracks. Before you could react, she had smudged her thumb across your eyelid and it came away brown. "Makeup. You knew Sam was coming in to talk today, didn't you?"

You shook your head and started walking, forcing her to catch up. "I always wear makeup for presentation days. You've seen me at my worst, Sharon."

Sharon smiled. "I have, and need I remind you that I have some pictures from those days?"

This stopped you in your tracks. "You wouldn't dare."

"I have Wilson's contact information. You've gotta ask that boy out, or I'll send him the pictures." She grinned, knowing she had you.

You gritted your teeth. Sharon always knew how to get you to do what she wanted. "Fine. I'll ask him out tomorrow. But not a word of this is spoken outside of our conversations, or I'll send that agent you're talking to the footage from your apartment hallway when you lived across from Steve."

Her eyes widened comically. "You wouldn't dare," she threatened.

"Send the pictures to anyone, and they find out exactly how much Sharon Carter had the hots for Steven Grant Rogers." You scrunched up your nose, giving Sharon the cutest face you could.

"I never told you his full name," Sharon teased.

You blushed. "I do my research like any decent scientist."

The two of you made your way back to headquarters, still poking fun at each other for supposed and not-supposed crushes. Sharon was a good friend of yours, but she could be such a tease, especially when it came to your crush on Sam Wilson. Your resolve was strong, though. Tomorrow, when Sam came to check your progress on the time machine, you'd ask him out for coffee. You'd need a good night's sleep first, though. It was getting pretty late.

[yuzusorbet]

Fantasy On Ice, Sendai, May 31 (Fri) to June 2 (Sun) 2019 ~my account~

[wrote it for myself, to remember all the little details]

When I heard that Sendai was one of the places for Fantasy On Ice 2019, I immediately knew I had to get tickets.  I made my first trip to Sendai in April 2018 for Yuzuru Hanyu’s Olympic victory parade and I fell in love with Yuzu’s hometown.  FaOI Sendai would be the perfect occasion to visit again!  I quickly asked some friends for help and, miraculously, they managed to get tickets for all 3 shows from the official ticket draws.  I’m eternally grateful!  At that time, Yuzu’s participation was not yet announced but we knew he would be there.  Even if he couldn’t do jumps yet, he would definitely make an appearance in his hometown.  Weeks later, it was announced that he would be in the shows in all 4 locations.  Fans were delirious with joy!  Besides the thought of seeing him, it also meant he was recovering well!

This would be my 4th Yuzu-ice show.  2015 I went to FaOI Kobe; 2017 Niigata; 2018 Shizuoka.  So glad Sendai is an FaOI location this year;  it’s the first time!  

I flew into Tokyo Haneda Airport and took the shinkansen to Sendai.  My hotel is very near the main station.  The show venue is Sekisui Heim Super Arena, in a small town called Rifu, north of Sendai, in Miyagi Prefecture.  It is not easily accessible, so there were special shuttle buses to take us there from Sendai Station.  We had to buy the bus tickets from a vending machine in 7-11 in advance.  Cost for a 2-way ticket was 2500 yen, half-price for one-way.  

Day 1, Friday (show time: 5pm) 

At about 3pm, I followed signs that pointed to ‘FaOI shuttle bus’, which basically meant following the crowd.  (The long queue was to the right of this photo.)

Boarding the bus in an orderly manner.  Each bus moved off once it was full.

On the bus, I looked around me and wanted to laugh.... everyone’s phone screen or wallpaper was Yuzu’s face!  hahaha...... it was surreal. xD

It was a long bus ride, about 45 minutes.  We finally reached and I saw many stalls selling food outside the arena.  But the sky was grey and rainy, and suddenly the drizzle became very heavy rain.  I quickly lined up to go into the arena.  Thank goodness I had my waterproof parka.  Much better than an umbrella!

When I got to my seat, I had a nice surprise.  The people sitting next to me were Taiwanese fans that I had met during Yuzu’s parade last year!  So happy to see them again! 

Besides the great company, my seat position was really good too.  Right in the centre of one long side (East) and not far from the rink for an ‘A’ seat!  (First row is Premium, then Arena, SS, S, A, B.)

While waiting for the show to start, we chatted and exchanged gifts.  One of them gave me a little drawstring bag with a single feather embroidered on it.  A simple design that is so beautiful, especially for us Yuzu-fans.  I was so touched.  I only had snacks from my country to offer. :P

Then the show started.  When Yuzu came out for the opening, we all screamed!!!!  He danced with so much energy and happiness pouring out of him and his jump was awesome!  It was a 4T with a high kick, and then, as he danced in front of the whole group of skaters, he did a “I can’t hear you, c'mon” kind of gesture to the audience. (You can see it HERE.)  OMG he was so cool!!! I don’t know how the people sitting on the short side, right in front of him, survived.

2nd part of the opening:  Yuzu skated in with Jeff, Javi and Luca, and they were joined by 4 ladies.  His pair dance with ice dancer Anna Cappellini was so cute! And he was so smooth and confident! 

Individual performances: so many wonderful performances…. I will mention some of them at the end.

When singer ToshI came onto the stage, he said, “Sendai is figure skating and we have 2 Olympic gold medalists here… Arakawa Shizuka (loud cheers) and Hanyu Yuzuru!!!!!!” (loud screams)   Then he did the Yuzu-call......

ToshI: YUZU!!  (points mike to audience) Audience: YUZU!!! ToshI: YUZU!! Audience: YUZU!!! ToshI: YUZU!! Audience: YUZU!!! ToshI: But he’s not coming out yet. (hahaha…..) (Next was Stephane Lambiel.) 

Yuzu’s performance was last, as usual.  'Masquerade’ was so passionate and intense that my heart was thumping like crazy and I had to scream at many parts (and I heard  others’ screaming as well).  The music plus ToshI’s singing was very loud and drowned out our screams, thank goodness.  When Yuzu threw down his glove at the end, we all jumped to our feet and screamed and clapped.  MASQUERADE WAS ELECTRIFYING!!!  Video here.

Finale: Yuzu came out in the finale costume (black and white with frilly sleeves). So handsome!  After the group number, he disappeared backstage while the others did their jump or spin battles.  He appeared again wearing the  FaOI tee, wiping his face with a towel and sipping from a water bottle.  Then he went to stand next to Plushenko.  He tried the quad lutz, popped first time, then 2nd time he stepped out a bit.   When all the skaters started to go back in, one by one in a line, he did the 'high ten’ with each of them, some hugged him, he twirled Anna, and then Luca twirled him!  haha…. that was so cute!   Then as always, he stepped out of the rink, and from the side of the stage, he shouted “arigato gozaimashita!!!”  He bowed, walked backwards while waving, and before he disappeared through the curtains, he blew us a kiss!!  I think I died……

The show ended at about 8.30pm.  Rainy, dark, and took forever to get onto one of the shuttle buses that took us back to Sendai Station.  But head is totally filled with Yuzu and Masquerade, and heart is totally happy. :)

Day 2, Saturday (show time: 2pm)

On Day 2, I did not take the shuttle bus.  My friend Ella came to watch the Saturday and Sunday shows.  Her Japanese friend rented a car and drove us there.  (5 of us in the car made the shared cost much cheaper than the shuttle bus ticket.) 

It was a sunny day and I was very excited about the food (which I did not try on Day One due to rain).  From afar, I saw the tentage.....

When I got there, the whole place was like a carnival!  As I wandered around, someone suddenly tapped my arm.  It was my fan-friend K-chan!  How amazing that she spotted me among the crowds!  The last time we met was one year ago at FaOI Shizuoka!  So happy to see her, even if it’s only for a minute. xD

The stalls were awesome.  I have never seen food at previous ice shows!  The food sold here were specialties of Sendai and the regions nearby, and there were long queues at every stall.  There was nama biru (draft beer), miso ramen, yakisoba, gyu-tan (grilled beef tongue), croquette with bits of gyu-tan inside, skewers of Yonezawa beef (famous beef from Yamagata), and zunda soft serve ice-cream (zunda = sweet edamame bean paste).

  Above: my Zunda ice-cream.... so yummy.

Above: Gyutan.  Below: Croquette and Yonezawa beef.

I wish I could eat everything!  But I only had time to try these 4 things over Sat and Sunday.  They tasted SO GOOD.  (Thanks to Ella for her recommendations!)  There were many benches near the stalls and people were sitting there enjoying the food under the blazing sun.  

It felt like a festival to celebrate Yuzu being there. :))  Besides the official merchandise, there were also booths selling Sendai snacks in beautiful FaOI packaging and music boxes of Ballade No.1 and SEIMEI.   There was even a photo booth with staff helping fans to take photos! xD 

And when you got into the ice arena, every seat had a plastic bag with some promotional material and a pack of FaOI Sendai wet wipes!  haha….. so you could wipe your sticky hands and mouth if you brought food in to eat! 

Sendai, you really are the best! :D  (So, I have 3 of these wet wipes from the 3 days but I can’t even bear to open one of them to use!)

For Day 2, I was on the other long side (West) and a bit off-centre nearer the short side.  So I had a totally different angle of the show and my row was nearer the rink than yesterday -- fantastic!  The person next to me was also Ella’s friend and she offered me some lovely sweets.  Yuzu-fans are really sweet! :)

Opening: Yuzu fell on his opening 4T, so when he came out again with the other 3 guys (Jeff, Luca and Javi), he did a beautiful 4T before doing the usual steps with the others.  Hahaha, I was laughing inside, that is so HIM!

In the middle of show: ToshI’s YUZU-call this time was even longer than Day 1!  Felt like we were at a rock concert!  He made each side of the rink call out “Yuzu!” 3 times, like a battle to see which side was louder.   So it was one long side first, then the short side (in the video below, you can hear it’s a bit softer cos short side has less people), then the other long side.   Toshl says in his blog that this is the “やりすぎ編😅 ”, meaning the “too much (or overdone) version”.   Haha…. I like Toshl.   (Didn’t know him before this.)  We were all so high shouting “YUZU!!!” with all our lung power! xD Video of Day 2 Yuzu-call (ToshI’s blog)

Something comical: During the flying acrobatic skaters’ performance, I could see 4 or 5 men at one corner outside the rink pulling the rope to raise the skaters into the air.  They were running to and fro holding the rope and they were so funny!   End of performance, when the 2 skaters bowed, the men also bowed in their corner and waved as they marched off in a line!  Haha........ (this could only be seen from seats on the West side.)

Intermission: In previous FaOI’s, during intermission, 2 of the skaters (but never Yuzu) came out in zambonis and shot little presents to the audience, like signed FaOI tees.  So I waited a while but there was nothing happening... (same for all 3 days).  So I went for a walk to stretch my legs.  Went to put my fan letter into the gift box for Yuzu.  It’s just a simple postcard from my country. :) 

Last performance: Yuzu’s ‘Crystal Memories’ –- so beautiful I think I forgot to breathe. The Y-spiral was near my side of the rink.  His right leg raised up high was slowly lowered in a beautiful line with his body and it was just so heavenly to watch from where I was.  So many other exquisite moments...... words won’t do justice. Watching live, costumes always sparkle and glitter 100 times more than what we see on screen.  Yuzu was so sparkly he looked like an angel of light, sent from heaven to bring beauty and love to our world. Video of 'Crystal Memories’

Finale: As the skaters skated around the rink waving, Yuzu skated slowly, looking up at the audience.  I think he was trying to see as many fan-banners as he could. Like yesterday, he went backstage to change out of the finale costume and wore the FaOI tee to do the quad challenge.  The 4Lutz today was a step-out/hand-down.  The staff were putting some chairs onto the ice near the stage. When Yuzu realised it’s group photo time, he dashed backstage and came out very quickly in the black-and-white finale costume again, and he was grinning away.   Haha, it was a really quick change!  I wonder who the lucky person was, helping him backstage. xD

At the very end: He shouted 'arigato-gozaimashita!’ and we shouted back 'arigato-gozaimashita!’   Then, just before he disappeared into the curtains, he did the phantom 'take-off-the-mask’ gesture.  And we SCREEEEEEEEAMED!!! xD

I floated on cloud nine to the car park.....  Soon we were on our way back to Sendai Station area.  In the car journeys to and fro, the music was excellent, thanks to a friend who has a Yuzu-playlist in her phone which she connected to the car stereo.  All the music that he has skated to, from novice til now.... SP, FP, exhibitions..... ahhhh what great music..... it was really the GREATEST selection!

As we reached Sendai Station area, a funny thing happened.  Our friend drove onto the wrong road and we found ourselves on a highway going off to a different area!  She frantically looked for an exit but there were none.  We just had to keep going on this highway, further and further away from Sendai Station!  Then I saw a sign saying we’re heading for「泉中央」...... hey, isn’t that the area of Ice Rink Sendai?  We’re heading for Yuzu’s home?  Our friend kept apologising for going the wrong way but we told her IT’S OKAY!!!!  We’re going to Yuzu’s home!!!  Hahaha..... the wrong road suddenly felt so right! xD

The sun was setting.....  We became quiet.... gazing at the golden colours of Yuzu’s hometown while his music serenaded our senses.

(Glad these photos I took with my iphone in a moving car turned out well.)   After driving for some time, our friend found the way back towards Sendai Station.  We were late in joining a group of fans for dinner but what a nice little detour we had!   Very grateful to our Japanese friend who did all the hard work while we just soaked in the sights and sounds!

Day 3, Sunday (show time: 1pm)

For Day 3, I bought a one-way shuttle bus ticket as I would return by rental car.  Like Day 2, I lined up for food before the show.  The lines were very long and there were staff holding signs that said “end of line (food name)” for each stall so that people would know exactly where to queue.  Moving slowly in line, I used the time to admire the Yuzu-world around me.  Almost everyone was wearing or carrying things that showed their love, like Ciontu tees, Pooh keychains and Irene bags.  I myself was wearing the Phiten mirror ball necklace.  Some things were so beautiful and unique and I took photos.  (edit: separate post made on this; link is below.)

After eating, I walked around and spotted Yuzu’s signature near the arena office!  It was from year 2010!  At that time, the wing in his signature was very distinct.  So cute. :)

Close to 1pm, I went into the arena to look for my seat.  I had an ’S’ ticket and I was excited about being much nearer the rink than the previous 2 days with 'A’ tickets.  But when I got to my seat, I saw that I was only just in front of my row yesterday!   Realised that my 'A’ seat yesterday was the FIRST row of all the 'A’ seats and my S seat today was the LAST row of all the S seats.  Hahaha…….. I was a bit disappointed but then I was really lucky for the A seats!  (Seat order: Premium, Arena,  SS, S, A, B)

The good thing is, I was on the West side again and nearer the stage this time.  I would be able to see Yuzu going in and out very clearly!  And I had my concert binoculars!  I bought it just the night before, from a budget shop near my hotel. Sometimes the shows provide rental of binoculars but this one didn’t.  I usually use it for the finale, when the skaters are just having fun, so I can see Yuzu’s cute expressions. :)

I was also extra happy as I would be sitting next to Ella who came into the arena soon after me.  2 Japanese fans behind us heard us talking and knew we were not Japanese.  They showed us a huge folder with many Yuzu clear files and pamphlets, and asked us if we already have them.  We said no and they took out some to give to us!  Omg..... what super nice fans!!  They said they would be going for Kobe FaOI and Toyama FaOI as well!  They were at Worlds in Saitama too!  (Wow, I wish I could say the same!)  How lucky we were to sit in front of them!   

Opening: Wonderful like the other days and Yuzu did a beautiful 4T.   After the group performance, as he walked towards the backstage curtains, he took off his outer mesh top and swung it around, just before he disappeared thru the curtains.  Haha.... how cute can he be…… xD

Middle of show: ToshI said he talked too much yesterday so today he would say less.  The audience protested a bit with an “Ehhhhhh??”  But there was no Yuzu-call today. :(

During Masquerade,  Yuzu fell on both his jumps.  For us fans, it did not matter at all, but we knew he would feel terrible about it.  I wondered if the temperature was affecting him as the venue was very warm.  Day 1 was OK but it was warmer on Day 2, and on Day 3  I was actually sweating a bit in the middle of the show.  And I wasn’t the only one feeling it cos I saw people fanning themselves.  Literally a very hot FaOI.

Finale: After the group number, Yuzu disappeared backstage to change into the FaOI tee while the others did jump/spin battles.  Came out with towel and water bottle. Wiped sweat, drank water.  Then he did some stretching, and sat on steps at the side of the stage and massaged his legs for quite a long time.  (So glad I was seated that side and I saw him so clearly.)   I guessed he was getting ready for the quad lutz …..  because he fell on both his jumps during Masquerade, he really wanted to do a good jump for us.  He tried 3 times - popped twice and fell on the last one.  And decided it was enough. Thank God!  I was getting worried because he had only just recovered.  My heart was in pain watching him try so hard.  Yuzu, we know you always want to give your best. But please take good care of yourself!   (One week later, he did a beautiful 4Lz in Kobe Day 3!  YES!!!!!!!!)

At the end, instead of the usual deep bow towards all the skaters and artists, he knelt down and bowed with his head on the ice.... orz.   He looked so cute and funny doing that and we all laughed, but our hearts were aching cos we knew he was feeling truly apologetic and extremely ‘kuyashii’....

For the final skating around the rink to wave to the audience, he went to Plushenko and pushed him to the start of the line, then Plush and Yuzu 'circled around each other’ trying to make each other first in line, haha….. it was so sweet.  Video (from Plushenko’s IG) 

At the very end, at the side of the stage, he took the mike and said a few words.  I cannot remember what he said except for this: -  Actually this is not Sendai…. (it’s actually Rifu, just outside Sendai) - He wishes FaOI will come here again. (what else did he say…….. sigh, my head must have been too overwhelmed by this time.)

After shouting arigato-gozaimashita (without the mike), he walked backwards towards the curtained doorway, and just before he disappeared, he bowed deeply and said 'arigato-gozaimashita’ again (with the mike). My heart deeply and sincerely also says, “Yuzu, arigato-gozaimashita!”  Thank you for everything you do!

At past FaOI’s, I always bought one tee and one towel.  (I think they only had one design each.)  This year, they had 2 designs each and it was so hard to choose and Yuzu wore both tees and I love both colours of the towel..... so I bought everything (goodbye my money).  And the FaOI book of course;  the cover and photos inside are so beautiful. 

I felt this was the best FaOI I’ve ever attended.  I will mention briefly some performances that I love a lot.

~Shizuka Arakawa: so beautiful and elegant;  love her skating, esp her spiral and layback ina bauer.  Love her costumes too.  One was white and sparkly, the other had a Japanese style.  Both performances were excellent. ~Nobunari Oda:  Music from the movie 'Ghost' - his skating was so sad, I almost had tears.  Then 'Mission Impossible' was so funny!!!  Really love Nobu-kun! ~Stephane Lambiel: Love both numbers, especially the one with ToshI singing the sad and beautiful Japanese song 'I Love You'. ~’Akai Sweet Pea', sung by ToshI, skating by Johnny Weir.  I love this song!  Originally sung by Seiko Matsuda. ~'Monochrome' by Anna Cappellini and Luca Lanotte: So amazing!!!  Everything looked like a black-and-white movie!  The colour on their skin must have taken a lot of time and effort.  Their performance was superb! ~Rika Kihira: So energetic and strong!  Love the choreo. ~Satoko Miyahara: skated her new SP on Day 1 and her new FP on Day 2 and 3.  I like both a lot! ~Javier Fernandez: the flamenco performance was so fun! 

Plus all the other performances, I enjoyed them all!  Thank you to all skaters and artists and staff! 

On Sunday, once the show ended, Ella rushed out of the arena with her huge bag.  There was a taxi waiting to take her to Sendai Airport to catch her flight home.  I was a bit worried she would miss her flight but she made it, phew!  And she saw some skaters at the airport!  Jeff, Scott, Rika and Satoko!  Wow, they are fast! :D 

A big thank you to Ella and all the Yuzu-fans I met.  I received so much love and so many gifts..... really grateful to all you wonderful people! 

The little pouch with a feather was perfect for my new binoculars.  Will be bringing them along for future events. :) 

So many beautiful things and memories added to my treasure chest.....  Dear Yuzu-kun and Yuzu-fans, til we meet again, take care and God bless!

(Next, I will write about the other places in Sendai that I visited on this trip.)

*All photos are taken by me.  (some faces are blurred for people’s privacy.) *If my memory is not so accurate for some details of the show, my apologies. :)

Added later:

Part 2: Yuzu-world

Part 3: home rink and Olympic monuments

Part 4: Nanakita Park and schools

Part 5: An unexpected journey

Part 6: yuzu and zunda

Part 7: other Yuzu sightings

[needsmoresarcasm]

Favorite Books of 2019

I read a bunch of books in 2019. I loved a lot of them. Here are my ten favorites.

10. Because Internet: Understanding the New Rules of Language, Gretchen McCulloch

Most books about internet culture are garbage because they are written from the perspective of someone who is outside internet culture. Gretchen McCulloch, I am positive, is a part of internet culture. She was on fandom mailing lists and had a LiveJournal, I’m sure. She had to be to write Because Internet, which is an incredibly well written book about how language has evolved to fit online discourse. Because Internet is so fascinating, as it is able to explain thoughtfully (and compellingly) many things that internet people understand inherently. It parses through the evolution of a keysmash or an emoji. And it really helps show how language on the internet is not somehow the deterioration of language, but just another natural step forward.  9. HHhH, Laurent Binet

Originally written in French, HHhH deals with the entire genre of historical fiction. The narrator in HHhH is writing a novel about the murder of Reinhard Heydrich, a high-ranking Nazi official. That novel-within-the-novel is the bulk of the actual HHhH. But the narrator, who has spent years researching the actual facts, struggles with how much history and how much fiction he should be putting into the book. And so the book explicitly plays with the reader’s expectations, and comments at times on paths the story could take. The book works without the metatextual commentary, it’s propulsive and a little wry. But the added layer really just adds to the intrigue: what’s historical fiction supposed to do? And does any of it even matter? 8. Out East: Memoir of a Montauk Summer, John Glynn

Out East is a coming out memoir that deals with entirely internal struggles and not external hardships. Of course, there is an incredible amount of privilege at play for a coming out to be devoid of external hardships. And yes, the memoir, about a group of (mostly white) friends who rent a beach house in Montauk for a summer, is steeped in privilege, which John Glynn is acutely aware of. But John Glynn is not asking for your sympathy, he is instead telling a deeply personal story about self discovery and sexuality in the 2010s. He captures the world-shattering confusion and fear of learning that you don’t know yourself in a visceral way that still somehow maintains perspective. I cannot say that this book is for everyone, but man, was it for me.

7. Red, White & Royal Blue, Casey McQuiston The year was 2019, and everything was awful. Enter Red, White & Royal Blue, a wildly escapist fantasy that dared to dream: what if the world wasn’t on fire? So Red, White & Royal Blue is truly the most escapist novel out there, a fun romp of a romantic comedy that is entirely unconcerned with the disasters of reality. No, we’re just going to take the biracial son of the first female President of the United States and the charming, responsible prince of England and let them fall in love. Let hijinks ensue. Let this wonderful, bubblegum, fizzy drink of a novel enter your brain and wipe away all your worries. God, I had a blast reading this novel. Make everything gay 2020.

6. Soonish: Ten Emerging Technologies That’ll Ruin and/or Improve Everything, Kelly & Zach Weinersmith

Soonish is the exact kind of nonfiction that I want. It made me feel smarter and also made me laugh. Soonish takes on exactly what its subhead describes: ten emerging technologies (robotics, fusion power, asteroid mining, bioprinting!) that may or may not prove disastrous. It walks through the current science and then the possibilities, and how far off those possibilities are. And then it walks through the potential benefits and consequences. It’s an incredibly accessible read, written with the right balance of information and levity, striking that xkcd Randall Munroe balance. And it also has very funny comics and illustrations interspersed throughout, which will just bring your life so much joy.

5. Just Mercy, Bryan Stevenson

Too real. Just Mercy is too real. This is not the right space to get into all that this book says about racial injustice and the flaws of the American justice system. It says a lot, and it says it extremely powerfully. But Just Mercy is Bryan Stevenson’s memoir, too. And it’s equally powerful for what it reveals about Stevenson. It’s so incredibly intimate, and Stevenson really lets the reader into his mind. And I think that openness really makes the whole thing land. Because Stevenson is hopeful and dedicated, and being that close to his inner thoughts ends up turning his story into something inspiring, not enervating. There’s an anecdote about an old woman on a bench outside the courthouse that Stevenson describes, and Stevenson’s retelling is so sure of the overwhelming, indomitable potential goodness of the human spirit that I may have shed a tear. Or two. Or a hundred.

4. The Song of Achilles, Madeline Miller

I’m not usually one for deeply tragic stories, but The Song of Achilles I guess is the exception that proves the rule. Locked into the Iliad’s telling of Achilles and Patroclus’ fate, The Song of Achilles feels tragic from the first line. But every sentence builds their relationship and makes you invested, even as tragedy looms. The writing is gorgeous and almost musical; the passion swells and crashes like an orchestra. The book smartly focuses on Patroclus’s humanity to ground Achilles. It’s through Patroclus that we see and understand Achilles, which makes the sharp turns, where we see through Achilles, cut even deeper. In any event, the whole affair is horrifyingly romantic, and I loved it.

3. Homegoing, Yaa Gyasi

Everything about Homegoing is spectacularly audacious. It is an economical 300 page book with the weight, scope, and ambition of a thousand page page epic fantasy series. Homegoing begins by telling the story of two sisters who, by the whims of circumstance or luck or fate, end up on wildly divergent paths. In Ghana in the 18th century, one is sold into slavery and the other marries an Englishman. Homegoing then follows the parallel paths of their descendants through eight generations. Though Homegoing only devotes a single chapter to each character, it manages to develop those characters and their specific settings in more detail than some entire books can. And these chapters are great not only because of what they say about the larger themes of racism and colonialism and family and history, but because of the nuanced, particularized stories they’re able to tell about the individuals.

2. Picture Us in the Light, Kelly Loy Gilbert

Contemporary Young Adult books can feel hit or miss for me. Many of them end up feeling a little shallow or juvenile. And this isn’t a criticism of the books, but a necessary side effect of the fact that I’m not the intended audience. But Picture Us in the Light knocked me over with more force than any “adult” book I read.

Picture Us in the Light, at first blush, is a typical story about Danny Cheng, a Chinese American high school student worrying about getting into college, swirls with weighty plot elements--suicide, citizenship, poverty, familial sacrifice--but never resorts to melodrama. Each issue is treated with a deft, steady hand. But more than anything, it is just the story of Danny Cheng trying to figure out his life. His voice is specifically crafted to reflect everything he is: an aspiring artist, the child of immigrants, Asian American, maybe queer, a Californian, and, maybe most importantly, a teenager. Because Picture Us in the Light turns the youth of its genre, its audience, and its main character into an asset; it channels that unformed teenage energy of wonder, uncertainty, and anxiety to heighten every emotional beat. And mostly, it brims with empathy and optimism for Danny and, really, for everyone.

1. The Starless Sea, Erin Morgenstern

The Starless Sea is the reason I read books. As a kid, I fell in love with reading by devouring entire series, getting lost in a fictional world for days or weeks or months at a time. What made reading so addicting was the feeling of being entirely immersed in the currents of a story. It’s a feeling I don’t get from books much any more. I read too fast, I think too much, and, mostly, I’m too easily distracted. But The Starless Sea brought that feeling of having just spent two weeks reading every Redwall or Lord of the Rings or Ender’s Game book and no longer being able to discern reality from fiction. And for that blissful literary hangover, it was the best book I read in 2019.

The Starless Sea is about Zachary Ezra Rawlins, a video game design graduate student, who comes across an old, unmarked book in his school library. In that book, he comes across a story that impossibly contains a moment from his past, and the book proceeds to unravel that mystery. However, this plot summary is misleading in its linearity; The Starless Sea is structured as books within a book, chapters will switch from the story of Zachary to the story Zachary is reading to maybe a different story altogether. And in this way, it unfolds as a puzzle box, or maybe as nesting dolls, or maybe a Mobius strip (or maybe all three), where figuring out exactly what stories are being told only adds to the experience. 

You won’t find a review of this book that doesn’t call Erin Morgenstern’s writing beautiful or atmospheric or dreamlike, which is appropriate because Erin Morgenstern’s writing is beautiful and atmospheric and dreamlike. Between the whimsical descriptive flourishes and the outward spiraling fantastical plot, the book is always on the verge of floating away or spinning out. But Zachary Ezra Rawlins grounds the story; he’s real and genuine and good, and never have I rooted more for a character. He believes in the power of a great story, and that’s ultimately what this book is about: the ways in which a story can sweep you away. And, truly, The Starless Sea just washed over me, lifted me up, and swept me away.

[cursed-ice-spirits]

Fairy Lights

First of all, happy fucking birthday Rebecca.

Second of all, I blame @thecursedvaultchild for dragging me into this ship. 

Enjoy.

Rebecca put up the last fairy light around the statue and jumped down with a smile. 

She had decorated the Courtyard with fairy lights. Where she got them doesn’t matter. All it matters was that her date is coming soon and she’s extremely nervous.

“You can do this, Lord,” she told herself as she tugged at her purple ao dai. It was beautiful, but was she enough for it? No, stop it. “It’s just a date. With Diego. Who you fancied for a while. No pressure.”

Rebecca took a deep breath and thought back to her conversation with Andre before she went on the date. 

“You look nervous,” Andre said with a slight smile as he zipped up her dress. “A Knut for your thoughts?”

Rebecca pursed her lips. “I don’t know. What am I doing going on this date? This is Diego, one of the best duelers AND dancers in all of Hogwarts. He’s way out of my league.”

“Stop that,” he snipped, poking at her cheek, before going back to doing her hair. The length made it a bit harder to style it but he can deal with it. “You’re not so bad at dueling yourself. Have you seen what you did to Lockwood last week? That coward ran off with his tail between his legs.”

He saw her crack a smile at the memory and continued. “You’re talented at Charms, you’re a master at art and Arithmancy, you know your way around COMC, and you’re a great dancer as well. I should know this, I was your date for the Celestial Ball, after all. All those things make up for the areas you’re not so good at and it makes up who you are. You need to stop putting yourself down.”

“Harder than it looks, Dre,” Rebecca frowned at the mirror. “I don’t know… there are all sorts of what-ifs. Like—“

“What if this turns out like Charlie?” He asked. “It won’t be. It was a mutual break-up and both of you thought it’s better suited not to be in a relationship. Which is fine. But Caplan? He genuinely likes you. It’s not like, one of his flings or something, but he genuinely likes you. Lana thinks he does anyway.”

“Really?”

“Yup.” He finishes the last touches on her hair and pulled back. “You can do this, Bex, just be your true self. Don’t pretend to be someone you aren’t. Just be happy and believe in yourself.”

“Believe in yourself,” she repeated to herself. “Be your true self. Don’t pretend.”

She sat down at the fountain, facing the entrance of the courtyard and closed her eyes, feeling the wind blowing against her face. It was a beautiful night, a perfect one for a date, and the fact that they weren’t supposed to be out this late gives her a bit of giddiness that comes with breaking the rules. 

Given, she’s a prefect, and she shouldn’t be condoning this, but still.

It’s… nice to be out.  Forgetting her troubles for a moment, she lets herself smile. 

“Your smile is like the sunshine, Sunshine.”

Rebecca couldn’t help but let out a slight laugh as she opened her eyes and looked up, seeing her date smiling down at her.

“That was absolutely horrible,” she said as Diego helped her up. “What do you think?” She asked a bit nervously. 

“It’s beautiful,” he said, and he wasn’t looking at the fairy lights decorating the courtyard, no he was looking straight at her. 

Rebecca felt her ears redden. “I meant the decorations, you doofus.”

“Who said it was about the decorations in the first place? They can never outshine you.” Diego laughed when she just buried her face in his shoulder in response. “You’re adorable when you blush.”

“And whose fault was it in the first place?” She asked, stepping back to pout at him, but it ruined the effect with the gigantic blush still on her face. 

No matter how many times he flirted with her, she still blushes and it frustrates her to no end, because he should not still be having this effect on her after months of pinning and pinning, that’s so unfair. 

“Mine of course,” Diego said with a grin as he tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “And proud of it.”

“Obviously, since you take great delight in making me blush,” she says, rolling her eyes as she poked at his cheek. 

“What can I say?” He grinned as he gently took hold of her hand, catching her by surprise. Kissing every one of her fingers, he looked down at her with a smirk that always drives her mad without fail. “You look gorgeous in red.”

Rebecca’s face turned completely scarlet. “D-D-Diego!” She splutters. 

“What? I’m just saying the truth.” Diego took hold of her chin and tilted it up. “Look, there’s the red now.”

“Oh my god,” Rebecca said. “You are impossible.”

“But you love me,” Diego pointed out, laughing when Rebecca didn’t even bother to deny that, since she was the one who confessed in the first place and asked him out on a date, before running off and dealing with Andre making fun of her the entire day.

Imagine her surprise when he corners her the next day and agrees.

“Shut up,” she says instead, swiping at his arm. 

“Make me,” Diego shoots back with a smirk.

Rebecca reddened even more if that was possible, but grabbed his collar and tugged him down to her level, ignoring the yelp that escaped, and placed a kiss on the side of his mouth 

“Hope that counts,” she tells him as she lets go, then runs off. 

“You little minx!” Diego laughs as he goes after her. “Get back here!”

Seems like he was prepared this time, because he easily catches her and brings her out into a twirl, taking joy in her gasp of surprise, before pulling her to his chest. “Gotcha.”

Her face was burning at the proximity. “Ah, so I can’t really pull the same trick twice, huh.”

“Nope,” he said, popping the ‘p’. He tapped her nose. “How bold of you. Did you really try for a full-on mouth kiss? On the first date?” He teases.

“Still, pretty bold.” He runs a thumb over her scars, sending shivers down her spine and looks at her in the eyes with a soft look that made her heart flutter. 

Rebecca feels her lips quirk into a smile. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“No reason at all,” he said, curling a lock of her hair around his finger and tucking it behind her ear again. “I was just thinking… the atmosphere is rather romantic, don’t you think? How about we… I don’t know,” he leans down and purrs into her ear, “dance?” He pulls away, smirking at her red face. “If there’s music of course.”

She blinks, trying to regain her composure. “T-That’s what I was planning to do before you decided to make me breathless as always. And I know a way to fix the lack of music.”

Seconds later, music starts “mysteriously” playing in the background. Rebecca grinned up at him. 

“A girl has to be prepared.”

“A beautiful girl,” he adds as he lets go. Before she can react, he sweeps into a bow and held out a hand. “May I have this dance?”

Rebecca laughed. “You didn’t have to ask in the first place.” And, with twinkling hazel eyes, she took his hand.

They fit like pieces in a puzzle and danced beautifully. Rebecca was extremely grateful her mother had taught her how to dance, or else she would have tripped over her feet and step on Diego’s foot and that will end up in a disaster. But for now, there was no misstep, or stepping on feet, and she couldn’t help but laugh every time she twirled and twirled, and before she knew it, he was bringing her out into a spin and sweeping her into a dip.

“Oh!” she gasped, finding herself face to face with him. “Hi there.”

His gaze was surprisingly soft as his hand spins into her hair. The smirk that appeared when they were dancing seems to fall away into a fond smile.

It left her speechless. To see that smile aimed at her. 

“You missed earlier, y’know,” He said suddenly. “Allow me to fix it.” Rebecca blinked. “Wha--?”

She was swiftly cut off when he brought her head up and pressed his lips against hers and making the butterflies in her stomach flutter furiously. 

Warmth seems to spread through her entire body. Starting from her fingertips, all the way to the tips of her toes. She melted in his arms and went to kiss back, fluttering her eyes shut and tilting her head to give him better access. 

It was her first kiss and…

Wow. 

Wow.

Unlike the kisses he shared with Summer, it wasn’t hot, passionate, and fierce, it was gentle, sweet, as though she was fragile and he was afraid of hurting her. 

(In many ways, that was so so true.)

Her hands slipped from his shoulders to his hair, threading long fingers through the brown locks. She felt him smile against her lips as he pulled her up to her feet, hands lowering to her hips to pull her closer.

Her heart threatened to burst out of her chest. And it was all over too soon. 

They pulled away at the same time, panting for breath. He stared down at her as though she hung the stars and moon in the sky.

“Wow,” she said, and that was all she can manage. 

Diego’s lips twitched into a smile. “Wow indeed.”

He went to pull her in for more, but then a small meow cut through the air, freezing them in their tracks. 

“I guess we overstayed our welcome,” Rebecca said, her hushed voice filled with glee as she flicked her wand and turned the music off. Another wave took down the fairy lights. “Come on, let’s go before we get caught.”

“Definitely,” Diego grinned as he kissed her neck, making her squeak. “Don’t want to get detention, eh, Miss Prefect?”

Rebecca grabbed his collar and tugged him towards her, pressing a kiss on the side of his mouth and smirked when he freezes up. 

“Oh look at that, I missed,” she said innocently, her eyes twinkling mischievously. “Race me to the Common Room and maybe I won’t miss.”

He smirked. “Oh, you’re on.”

And they raced out of the Courtyard just in time to miss Mrs. Norris passing by, giggling like the teenagers they are and not the battle-worn warriors that fought and fought against Vault after Vault.

They may have kissed more outside the Common Room. 

They may have talked and talked until the wee hours of the morning, before cuddling on the couch. 

They may have done both of those things, but all that mattered is that Penny’s squeal of delight after finding them asleep on the couch together woke them up.

Rebecca let out a groan as she buried her face in Diego’s chest and, if possible, snuggled closer to him. She felt him chuckle and reach up to play with her hair, coaxing her gently to go back to sleep.

Tuning out Penny’s excited chatter about whatever she’s rambling about, Rebecca slipped back to the arms of Morpheus.

She’ll deal with the rumors later. 

[nyame-adi]

So the flavour of the month(year and forever because I just love this place) is still Switzerland and in continuation from last weeks post here are:

10 things I wish I knew before I moved to Switzerland

You do not have to carry the whole of the UK in your suitcase

Moving to a new country, you would want to prepare to make your transition as smooth as possible in real african nature  my mum had it in her mind that it is smartest thing to get me to clear out the shelves in Argos, Lidl, Ikea and Tesco- basically everywhere that would take our money! – Guys I went to this country with 4 suitcases a blender, a sandwich maker( I DIDNT EVEN LIKE SANDWICHES LIKE THAT TO CARRY ONE) cutlery, vaccum packed pillows and plenty packs of Maggie cube, the list extends,  but it was too much.Now, I’m not knocking being prepared for a big move and sometimes it is much cheaper to bulk buy, but I learnt the hard way…. you need to be reasonable with the lists you make. I made a list based of what I would need for university but in reality I  realised when my tenure ended(the hard way) that I packed wayyyyy too much. This included some things  I never used(not proud to say it) – coming home was misson impossible, getting on 2 trains with a journey of a duration of 2h30 from Lucerne to Zurich, navigating the airport before catching a flight to the UK with +4 suitcases BY MYSELF.Lesson:  You do not need to carry a sandwich maker unless you really like sandwiches otherwise then do you. okay well the main lesson is be kind to yourself and let the things you don’t need go.

Take ALL your seasonings with you

If you like flavour – just to do it, thank me later because the seasoning game in switzerland is WEAK, sorry not sorry. As someone who loves food and cooking I remember struggling to find common jerk seasoning – alternatively amazon is the plug for all your tropical sun seasonings – have no fear amazon is here. I did hear from my aunt that if you’re in Zurich you will be able to get supermalt, african seasonings and food items in and around Stauffacherstrasse, tram stop Helvetiaplatz, been there once or twice and there’s a nice little community of africans there.Lesson:  Jollof without Maggie/stock cube is not Jollof.

Time is your friend

I think that goes for everything – take time and settle into your environment because its not going anywhere, in my previous post  I mentioned I took quite a while to settle into my environment (which is normal) but rushing the process or feeling bad for not adjusting is not going to help anything if anything it really kills the vibe.Lesson:  Take time, Enjoy the View and settle in.

Almost everything closes on a Sunday – Don’t eat all your snack on Saturday

Self explanatory really, do all your shopping in the week and leave sunday for Church and chilling less commercialism enhancing the quality of life.Lesson:  Get Organised! Leave that packet of popcorn for tomorrow, you will not die. HA BA!

Make friends

NO ONE IS SAYING GO AND CARRY THE WHOLE NEIGBOURHOOD ON YOUR HEAD. BUT no interaction is done with only one person (As in yo, yourself and you). I’m an introvert so I can easily get aorund by being locked in a cocoon and coming out when I feel like it which is usually NEVER! Nothing good comes from being in a foreign land alone.Proverbs 13:20 : Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.Lesson: It easier to get around if you know people who can direct you accuratey and with love. No man is an Island and sometimes you can be your own companion of fools.

Home is where YOU make it

Get comfortable – HI HELLO WAKE UP, this is where you are at now! looking back at what WAS home will rob you from what is NOW home, focusing too much on where you want to be will steal todays joy. Buy that lamp you wanted! Create that chill corner! Do what you got to do. The worst thing for me was being somewhere I called home that didn’t feel like…home because I chose to blame my environment for not being like what I knew.Lesson: Get settled girl, take responsibility for your HOME – rest your roots and ease them out when it is time to bounce.

Stienhofstrasse outside my window

Stienhofstrasse accomodation

Stienhofstrasse

Should have been #1 – Your faith will keep you

Its easy to be very anixous when you are away from home and I can’t lie I did and still do sometimes fall into the trap. If you’re like me you’d think youself into oblivion and if you do not CHECK. YOUR. SELF. You’ll just spin into a web of fears. Take it easy! Foh Ril! this is a good time to get grounded and cling on to God replace those thought’s with His wisdom and knowledge all packed into His divine word.

What if i get lost on my walk? What if someone kidnaps me? What if i run out of money? What if i get ill? Who will care for me? What if i don’t make friends?

Lesson: Matthew 6:34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Stay humbled and find peace, John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.                             

This is your passport in (to Germany, France, Italy, Liechtenstein)

Switzerland is beautiful nestled between other picturesque countries. Unlike the UK it is more feasible to access these places without having to do too much. Infact some countries do not even require getting on a plane to get there.

ZURICH TO MUNICH: 370 KM ; 3h30 on cars; 3h45 by Flixbus; 4hrs by train; 50 mins -1hr by flight

ZURICH to LYON: 419 KM; 4h51 by car; 5h by train; 1hr-1h30 by flight

ZURICH TO COMO: 235 KM; 2h51 by car; 3h by train; 55min flight to Milan and 40 min train journey

ZURICH TO VADUZ: 109 KM ;1h5-1h30 by care; 2h40 train; no flights …Lesson : This leads me to the next point.

Day trips for the win

Need a say more? I used to get so bored staring out my window wishing I could do more with my time. Its not until I took my first trip to Bellinzona that I realised that THIS DAY TRIP THING IS A SHOUT! All it requires is a little planning so you don’t miss your bus or train back home and this can be done pretty easily – when I had last visited Switzerland I took a day trip which took me through the North of Switzerland up until Stein Am Rhein( boardering Germany) and back to Zurich – We had multiple stops and our tour guide provided us with many a dead joke, jkjk, she brought the vibes and told us many a story paired with a couple history lessons –  I booked the day trip on the day  (early morning of course) at the ticket office in Carparkplatz Sihlquai 2 minuets from Zurich Central Station.

Lesson: Can’t put a price on the experience

No experience is too expensive

Especially if it will infrom your understanding of the world today.

So there you have it 10 things I wish I knew before I moved to Switzerland.

      10 things I wish I knew – Switzerland So the flavour of the month(year and forever because I just love this place) is still Switzerland and in continuation from last weeks post here are:

[the-potter-analyst]

Chapter 12 - The Mirror of Erised

One can never have enough socks!!

Harry Potter and the Sacred Text word of the day: (White) Privilege

When I learned that this was the word that the hosts would use for chapter 12, I was.... intrigued to say the least about how they would connect the concept. But once again, I was amazed on what they found! Basically the invisibility cloak was a symbol for both having privilege and not having privilege. The original word(s) of the day is “white privilege” but the idea can also work for privilege in general, which is why I have white in parentheses. Just to put it out there, I’m an asexual black woman which right off the bat puts me at a disadvantage for the top categories of privilege lol, so this topic is something very close to home and I will not sugar coat anything. istg if I get any defensive replies or asks

The invisibility cloak having a double meaning around privilege is so fascinating to me. It reveals how invisibility can be good or bad depending if a person is privileged or not. For example, if you’re white, you will largely be ignored on the things you do; you can get away with almost anything. This is the positive side of the invisibility cloak, as Harry can roam around the castle without being noticed, particularly at night, and not be caught. On the flip side, a white person will be seen as an individual, their actions defining themselves and not an entire group. Alternatively, this is the complete opposite of any minority. Any black person walking down the street will be noticed because they are black, my people literally can’t do anything without the cops being called on them. And a black person’s actions ends up being a collective definition of the entire race. Like... a white shooter will always be talked about as an individual and the event being an isolated case. If the shooter is black or Arab or whatever? The media will spin it like the entire minority is evil. But if a black person is successful, their efforts are ignored. Can you name any black inventors? Because technology wouldn’t have been the same without them, yet you never learn about them in history books.

Harry notes that the cloak doesn’t stop him from being solid, which made me think about how being invisible and ignored in a negative way doesn’t make a person any less of a human, no matter how they may be treated as such. Just food for thought I guess.

Something Sacred Text host, Vanessa, said really struck me. She talked about how she was literally side stepped by someone so they could tap her black friend on the shoulder and compliment her outfit. And Vanessa, connecting it with invisibility and visibility, commented how the person probably (unintentionally) gave the compliment because her friend looked nice, for being black. And... I’ve never thought about that stuff quite in this way. I just assumed (white) people just tried to go out of their way to be nice to a black person, but to be honest I never gave much thought about it or its meaning in the first place. I get compliments from complete strangers everywhere for articles of clothing to my hair. Like just yesterday this white man walked up to me at a restaurant to say he loved my hair, which was in an afro. I’ve always thought it was weird to compliment random strangers like that, not in the way that you’re standing in line or something and compliment a girl’s purse who’s right in front of you, but literally walking up to someone who’s just minding their own business to do it. And cause this happened after listening to the podcast, I kept thinking is he trying to be encouraging to people with natural hair? does he really think his opinion is going to boost my self esteem like that? (normally I’d just brush it off and think that person’s weird) I know that wasn’t his intentions, but this is what those actions imply when it comes from a white person who’s a stranger.

Dumbledore says something that really holds true about privilege: “Strange how nearsighted being invisible can make you.” When you have it, you aren’t always aware of what your privilege gives you or what others without it experience. Like for me, I admittedly don’t think about ADA regulations all the time because I have an abled body, so it’s not something that I personally have to worry about unless I get an injury. But someone in a wheelchair, someone with a cane, someone with an invisible disability has to think about these things, because that’s their life. They need an accessible doorway for example just to get in a building. As a female, I can’t go out alone at night or even the bathroom at a bar without worrying I might be assaulted, but this isn’t something that men have to think about. So next time you’re defensive about something that someone of a minority group says about your privilege, think about this quote. Think about how your privilege makes you nearsighted. And then fucking listen.

Another long post lol I can’t not rant about this topic The rest of the chapter will be analyzed under the cut.

I kinda wonder if Hermione wasn’t in Harry’s friend group, if he and Ron would be as motivated to find out who Nicolas Flamel was. Obviously the constant searching in the library was her idea lol, because that’s her thing. When she doesn’t know something, she consults books AKA goes to the library. Though I think because Harry knew he read the name somewhere, he would have been searching in books as his curiosity had hit an all time high, but it would’ve probably been limited to his school books. Ron probably would’ve only joined occasionally to help Harry out, or done the same and look through his own books. I find it funny that the trio only looked through books about modern or recently famous wizards, which makes sense because you don’t exactly expect someone to live over 600 years lol.

Christmas morning of Harry’s first year always gives me so much joy to read (and watch). He gets so excited that he has presents!! Even the 50 pence that the Dursley’s sent he responds with that’s friendly lmao. I will also never get over the fact that Mrs. Weasley, after learning from Ron that Harry didn’t expect to get presents, made him a goddamn sweater and some fudge 😭 I also love how the Weasleys basically adopt Harry, and it’s not just Mrs. Weasley, it’s Fred and George too. Fred pulls wizard crackers with Harry during Christmas dinner.... they played in the snow until they were cold and wet.... not to mention the twins look after him in Quidditch.

The contrast between Christmas morning and Christmas evening is so interesting to me. Harry wakes up to presents from many people, eats all he wants for dinner, spends the day having fun with the Weasleys, and then after an adventure with his invisibility cloak, finds the Mirror of Erised. And this scene is so heartbreaking. I can just feel the empty silence as Harry longingly looks at his family, I can feel his ache for the people he never got to know. The hosts brought up how white/western culture is very individualistic, but at the expense of feeling disconnect with one’s own heritage. I also want to add how the same disconnect happens with a diaspora. This topic is a little interesting when considering that there’s a widespread headcanon that Harry is half Indian or just poc, so the feeling of disconnect might be even more powerful.

For what Ron sees, I’ve said previously that Ron’s insecurity is being the odd one out in his family, the one who doesn’t have a special thing because all his older brothers have already done it. So in the Mirror, he sees himself being the best of all of them combined. And he’s alone. He wants to stand out. So far I’ve seen a lot of signs that Ron takes his family for granted, which I get since he’s 11 and one of the youngest in a large and loving family: he’s embarrassed about their class status, he pushes away his mother when she tries to clean dirt off his face, he tells Harry he can see family any old time. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing since Ron’s still fairly young though (he also didn’t resist being told to wear his Weasley sweater like Percy), but again and again we’ll see moments like this where it’s apparent that Ron and Harry’s desires are the complete opposite of each other. Ron is also less obsessive than Harry, which is why I think he had a bad feeling about the mirror  while Harry didn’t despite the two fighting over it while in the empty classroom. And he gets so worried about Harry! He tries to get him to eat, or play games, or even visit Hagrid, anything to get Harry out of his depressive state.

I wonder why the Mirror was moved to the empty classroom for anyone to stumble upon though. Maybe Dumbledore needed space to tamper with it? And the best time would be the holidays when most of the students were away? Why not do it in the Room of Requirement where is was probably kept before this? And was Dumbledore invisible every night while modifying the mirror? Or just to keep an eye on it? I can’t stop thinking about his comment on not needing a cloak to be invisible.

Small things

The Weasley twins bewitching snowballs to basically hit Voldemort ahaha

I will always laugh at the “Gred and Forge” joke xD

What time do they have Christmas dinner.... afterwards it says they spent a “happy afternoon” playing outside, which I don’t know if they would do at night when it’s cold and snowy lol. And being in Scotland, the sun will set pretty early. So was this actually a Christmas lunch? I’m so confused

ONE CAN NEVER HAVE ENOUGH SOCKS CAN I GET AN AMEN

hjsdfhsjkdf but actually, as an adult that’s all I want for Christmas (even though I have no room for them anymore haha)

Scabbers why are you sleeping on Harry’s pillow you creep

Special shout out to all the Hogwarts house elves that make Christmas magical, as well as every other day at Hogwarts :)

Previous: Chapter 11 - Quidditch

Next: Chapter 13 - Nicolas Flamel

[sickandtideeeee]

By Bast - Chapter 9 (Erik x Reader)

A/N: maybe things will start moving from here haha. Please comment/reblog if possible! <3

Did you really want to hear this tyrant’s sob story?

It didn’t matter how you answered that question – there was an absolute need to hear him that sprang from somewhere deep within. In mere moments, you were consumed wholly by the hellish childhood that unfolded unsteadily before you. Erik – his American name was Erik Stevens – spoke clumsily and nonlinearly, sorting through the events of his life as though they were an endless tangled mess of cables.

It was an unnatural retelling of his life up to this point in time. When he had first started speaking, his tone was as flippant as usual as he described growing up as a child like any other believing in “fairy tales” of a fantastical land, Wakanda, imparted to him by his father. He paused suddenly and briefly, undoubtedly wondering if it was worth divulging this much personal information, but then something else seemed to seize control of his voice. He opened his mouth and words now seemed to tumble out, shakily, far from his own volition. His tone grew from confused to angry and finally evolved into a calmness that sharply contrasted the fiery confidence he always exuded.

What was even more unnatural was that some of the words N’Jadaka spoke would trigger memories in you that were not your own. Through his eyes, you saw his father in health, trying to instill a sense of self-confidence and pride in his son, teaching him where he came from. Through his eyes, you saw his father slain, and you knelt over a lifeless figure many times larger than the then-preadolescent N’Jadaka. The blood splattered in and around the deep claw wounds in his chest had already begun to dry or congeal, betraying the many hours he had lain there, all alone in the center of a small, dimly lit apartment. Vibranium claws glistened, protruding from his chest.

What kind of evil person leaves a child to bury his father and fend for himself?

Through young Erik’s person, a hastily packed suitcase slung over his shoulders, you knocked and knocked on a familiar apartment door only to find that ‘Uncle James’ who lived down the street seemed to have disappeared off the face of the earth. Little did young Erik know that ‘Uncle James’ had long returned to Wakanda, and taken charge of another child, yourself, as though he had not abandoned another in dire need.

You watched him navigate the horrors of the foster care system, a preteen committing his first homicide while defending himself from a sexual predator who also was deemed the man of the house. As he progressed through adolescence, you felt the silent, caustic rage that emerged from his constant abandonment and disregard.

He graduated from university with honors despite growing up disenfranchised. He joined the military immediately. He flew through the ranks. He murdered, lied, stole, cheated and manipulated others his entire adult life. He threw out any hope of a normal life for the sake of wrath. He worked with international criminals, including one well-known to Wakanda, Ulysses Klaue, in order to get access to what he needed. Revenge.

You saw him keep score on his body, life after life after life.

You had seen enough. You shook your head as though to rid yourself of any further images. Had you been in a trance? At some point, your fingers had curled gently around his wrist. Withdrawing your hand rapidly, you stood up shakily, head still spinning.

N’Jadaka stared at you incredulously.

“You didn’t just hear what I said. You saw it.” He said this in a low whisper. His statement didn’t quite sound accusatory.

You didn’t respond, but your eyes began to glisten. It was enough for him to know for sure.

“Shit!” This time he bellowed, and you reflexively covered your ears, cowering as he seemed to fly towards you in a flurry of anger. For a split second, you wondered if you would become another raised mark on his skin.

“You fucking-!“ You closed your eyes, waiting for the blow. When it never came, you opened them to see him towering over you, hands clenched into fists. He glowered at you with eyes now tinged blood-red, his face hot; he seemed to literally be giving off steam and you could almost feel it off his skin, he was so far into your personal space.

“That shit was private. Don’t you ever fucking do whatever you just did again.” He spat, his face merely millimeters from yours. His intimidating glare lingered just a few seconds before he turned his back on you.

“Get the fuck out.” He said, without looking back. You recognized that this was a small act of mercy. If he had to take another look at you, he would change his mind and snap you like a twig. On that note, you took no time to gather yourself and skittered over to the door. You had entirely too much information to mull over the rest of the day.

But before you left him to his own, you stopped at the doorway. For the first time since he had arrived, you had garnered a tiny kernel of sympathy for him. Mustering the courage to speak, you faced his direction one more time.

“They were wrong to do that to you.” You croaked softly. You watched the muscles of his back tense up in response, but he did not respond. Your words hanging in the air just a little longer, you promptly turned and left.

He was and is still wrong to be who he is now, but they were wrong too, you thought, letting the door slam shut behind you.

--

It was not as though you hadn’t expected N’Jadaka to be above holding grudges – this was a man who was harboring anger against an entire country, after all - but this was excessive.

“So you really will not let me leave this room?”

The Dora standing in front of your doorway, facing outward, turned her neck to you and shook her head. She was clearly enjoying this, as indicated by the mischievous smirk that crossed her face.

Your stomach growled audibly, and you let out a defeated sigh. You had been confined to this room from the moment you woke up this morning at sunrise, and it was now approaching mid-afternoon. The guard turned on her heels suddenly as you attempted to close your door, almost startling you. She was at least 6 and a half feet tall and had to almost bend over to whisper to you.

“What did you say to him anyway? We’re all wondering.”

“Nothing.” Of course you lied. However, you weren’t sure if it was for your sake or for his.

She scrunched up her inappropriately cherub-like face in disappointment.

“That’s no fun,” she grumbled, crossing her arms as she returned to her post. You narrowed your eyes slightly in irritation, but quickly forgave her. Her earnestness could be useful. There was something about the softness of her voice that earned some trust. You decided not to lose this opportunity to ask about Amina. To your dismay, she frowned and kept mum, turning away from you.

You decided not to press - at least for now.

Instead, you retired back to your desk. Just from her facial expressions, you had gleaned enough important information. They had been alerted to her disappearance, but she did not appear to have been captured… yet.

Sitting at your desk, you used an AV Bead from your Kimoyo bracelet to access the internet. Through the grapevine, you had heard rumors that N’Jadaka was preparing to impose some censors to the network in a couple of weeks to limit the possibility of insurgency. Prideful as he was, he was tremendously aware that in the hearts of his citizens, he was only secondary to his much-preferred cousin and decided to block any discussion on the latter through the networks.

Today, you were shocked to see a trending, flashing headline that suggested the deployment of vibranium weapons to the Western world was happening in just a few hours.

Are you fucking kidding me?

Accessing the link brought you to a giant countdown timer with mixed commentary on the subject:

- how can this man just appear like this and make us meddle in things that have never concerned us?

- Finally someone understands that if we do not show ourselves to the world, they will feel like they have discovered us

- this man is very unstable. idiot ilali!!

- ^^ Tchaiii, my friend. Have you not heard that he has his people patrolling day and night? I beg, if you want to survive until sunrise please hold your fingers.

All of a sudden, you heard a muffled cry and a loud thud outside your door. Startled, you immediately went offline, almost dropping your beads. You faced the door with wide eyes. That had sounded too much like incapacitation.

Outside the door was a familiar voice.

“Nki, it’s me!”

It couldn’t be.

You ran out the door, crashing into Shuri, and the two of you both laughed and cried. Amina stood beside the two of you, the unfortunate young lady who guarded your door now slung over her shoulders, entirely unconscious.

Before you could ask any questions, Shuri thrust a Kimoyo card into your hands.

“My brother is alive and we’re about to bring this entire mess down. Please take this to my lab. If you see a mediocre-looking American, he knows the rest of the plan.”

Confused and overwhelmed with joy, all you could do was laugh.

“I’m serious, just make sure he stays out of trouble,” she insisted, already jogging away backwards. “I have to go!”

You nodded as she ran off, and then looked over to Amina, who thankfully looked well albeit a little tired.

She gave a small smile back at you, adjusting the human weight on her shoulders. Through her eyes, she gave you a promise to return and explain.

“Be careful,” she warned, motherly as always. Then she ran off as well.

Tagging:  @syndrlla97@iwantsomethingeternal @1killmonger @chasingsunlight @hoopshoney @destinio1 @wakanda-inspired @thadelightfulone @lalasparkles @pessimisfit @youreadthatright @stark-red19 @ruruly20 @bossyboyd03 @autumn242 @heybriheyyy @thelovelyliterary @muse-of-mbaku @bidibidibombaclaat @supersizemeplz @romanceoftheeveryday