#spin-tingler

[drchucktingle]

Trevor’s Hanukkah has been a fun ordeal, packed with delicious food and great conversation, but now he’s exhausted and his family is begging him to spin the dreidel. Trevor finally gives in and ends up the big winner, collecting more foil-covered chocolate coins than he knows what to do with.

This is Hanukkah gelt, and Trevor’s not convinced that the taste of these old, cheap chocolate coins will be any good. He gives them all back except for one, but when Trevor realizes his snack is sentient, a whole new set of problems arise.

Now Trevor is awkwardly playing host to his living gelt, but as the night goes on the two of them begin to notice there more blossoming between them then just hunger for a snack… there’s a hunger for some dick.

This erotic tale is 4,000 words of sizzling human on gay living Hanukkah gelt action, including anal, blowjobs, rough sex, and sentient chocolate coin love.

----

happy hanukkah buds enjoy new tingler POUNDED BY THE HANUKKAH GELT I WON PLAYING DREIDEL THAT I THOUGHT I’D NEVER EAT BUT NOW I’M SEEING IN A WHOLE NEW LIGHT BECAUSE IT’S TWO IN THE MORNING AND I’M HUNGRY out now on amazon and patreon

this is the single version of one of the new stories featured in holiday paperback GREAT GIFT FOR BUCKAROOS

[power-handmaiden]

Day 252: I Have No Butt And I Must Pound

Damn, I really loved this one. I was very curious about what exactly it would be about going in, considering that the story it references has a lot about it that would be... not exactly suitable for the overall optimistic world of tinglers. I'm no stranger to tinglers that are references to other works going off and doing their own thing, when it makes sense for an erotic story- if anything, I was surprised by just how much this one retained of the work it references, cleverly twisted (spoilers, but not really if you are paying attention to what the erotic tingleverse is like on the whole) to a utopian setting rather than a dystopian one.

This story is part that, part callback to "Pounded In The Butt By My Book "Pounded In The Butt By My Book 'Pounded In The Butt By My Book "Pounded In The Butt By My Book 'Pounded In The Butt By My Own Butt'"'"" which is in itself a reference to and re-framing of the "Chuck Tingle is an artificial intelligence on a server farm in Nevada" conspiracy. OK, I'm not sure if the Nevada detail was something anyone ever believed or just Dr. Tingle's own spin on it, but either way, it's part of the Tingle mythology now. Either way, these two ideas play together very well, melding the author's feelings on the worlds he creates with that of a fictional digital construct with the power to shape his own world.

[tawneybel]

Note: Ten favorite monsters, part eight. Previous part. The Point is a seriously underrated movie. Catch it if you’re into stuff like The Phantom Tollbooth or Yellow Submarine.

1. Oblina from Aaahh!!! Real Monsters

Tbh, I didn’t really watch this show. Rugrats was and is my fave Nicktoon, so my first exposure to ARM was crossover episode “Ghost Story.” (That, “The Last Babysitter,” and Rugrats in general has great juvenile horror.) But I have a soft spot for female monsters that have “girly” features while still giving grotesque.   

2-4. Anglerfish-esque monsters

Dark spider spirit from Avatar: The Legend of Korra: Some kind of arachnid, anyway. Don’t let her teethies fool you. This lady will just yeet anyone spirited away into the Fog of Lost Souls, she hates people so much.  

Grand Fisher from Bleach: The Bleach Wiki describes him as “resembl[ing] a giant hamster.” Which is great. Didn’t even think of that. Rats aren’t the only rodents that can scary. But he’s included here because I love monsters that mimic victims’ loved ones.

Frogfish from The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie: SpongeBob has other anglers, like two cute ones from “Rock Bottom,” one of my fave episodes. As with Grand Fisher, I love how the Frogfish uses a biological dummy of sorts as a lure. In this case, its tongue. Bringing to mind the Alaskan Bull Worm. 

5. Old Dark Frog from Days with Frog and Toad

This and Bony-Legs were seasonal delights for teeny Tawney. The illustration where he's looming, nay, towering over a chilled Frog was so hair-raising.

6. Brain Eating Meteor from The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy

Pretty much exactly what it sounds like. Has one of the best villain songs ever. Thank you, Voltaire.

7. the Demons of Ignorance from The Phantom Tollbooth

It’s like with the Blue Meanies where I can’t pick just one! There’s the Terrible Trivium, of course. But also the barely-there-but-will-bring-you-fear Threadbare Excuse, draconic Two-Faced Hypocrite, etc. 

8. the Pointed Man from The Point

Trickster who sounds like a shaken clock. Tumblr sexyman candidate right there. 

9. Sadako Yamamura from Ringu

Screenshot’s from Ringu 2. The visage creeping after Mai as she climbs with Yoichi out of the well is based on the forensic reconstruction of Sadako’s corpse.

Localizations are hit or miss for me, but I’ll admit The Ring 2002 was more entertaining. However, I think Sadako’s generally a more interesting villain than Samara.

While Ringu notability took inspiration from Videodrome, it’s its own unique spin combined with Japanese ghost lore.

10. the Tingler from The Tingler

A literal spine-tingler, living on people’s vertebrae. Emits a cardiac, pulsating sound when free roaming and swells after gorging itself on fear. 

Note: Eventually, I will try reading the Ring series. I read more murder mysteries than straight-up horror. Might add other Aaah!!! Real monsters to future lists if I ever watch the show proper. 

[bitter69uk]

Heartfelt thanks to everyone who attended the Lobotomy Room film club’s presentation of Strait-Jacket last night at Fontaine’s! According to Wikipedia, the shock-by-shock hagsploitation classick was released into American cinemas on 19 January 1964 – so sixty years ago today! As I argued in my intro, director William Castle is frequently derided as a hack reliant on gimmicks (skeletons dangling over the audience. Electrical shocks administered under seats), but his movies like House on Haunted Hill (1959), The Tingler (1959), 13 Ghosts (1960), Homicidal (1961) and The Night Walker (1964) are kitsch fun – and stark, mean little b-movie Strait-Jacket is his masterpiece. It’s got an atmospheric isolated rural setting. The action is enveloped in deep chiaroscuro film noir shadows. There are sudden eruptions of violence. In particular, the pre-credits cold opening, sketching in the past of axe-wielding anti-heroine Lucy Harbin, is haunting, powerful and economical filmmaking. Whisper it – I find Strait-Jacket more enjoyable than the more prestigious What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? or Hush … Hush, Sweet Charlotte. And - sporting the harshest, wiggiest jet-black wig in cinema history and jangling those maddening charm bracelets - glorious leading lady Joan Crawford’s force-of-nature performance is pure opera or Kabuki theatre. The scene where she strikes a match on a spinning record (and then essentially sticks her fingers in the mouth of her daughter’s fiancé) is the zenith of camp. Then there’s the blatant Pepsi product placement … Diane Baker’s perky ever-present Alice band … a LOT of blood-curdling screams …  a leering and heavily perspiring George Kennedy as a farmhand whose job description mainly seems to be beheading chickens … and a pipe-smoking doctor explaining, “Sanity’s a relative concept …” Strait-Jacket is 93 minutes of perfection! The next film club is 15 February and I’ll be announcing the title soon.

[ducktalkspodcast]

Comic Reviews and Preview: IDW's Disney Afternoon Giant #6

Comic Reviews and Preview: IDW’s Disney Afternoon Giant #6

We absolutely love the Disney Afternoon, and a few years ago Boom! Studios published a series of Disney Afternoon comics. These comics included DuckTales, Rescue Rangers, and Darkwing Duck. This year IDW Publishing began publishing a collection of these comics under the title Disney Afternoon Giant.

We missed these comics when they first came out, and we were shopping for the trade paperbacks…

[brawltogethernow]

So on the whole, how useful would you say Death Note is for teaching someone how to write a convoluted plot between enemy chessmasters that's at least... 50% watertight?

General disclaimer that I haven’t touched the source material directly in many years, and all my dn posts are me feeling my feelings. But yeah, I can shake my 8-ball about this.

There are two components to dn’s approach to “a convoluted plot between enemy chessmasters”, and they’re only roughly stapled together. There’s the rivalry/characterization part, which is both compelling and silly, and is mostly about aesthetic. That never really concludes in a satisfying way. It’s not TRYING to, because the characters are pretty much there to hold up the thought experiment premise, which demands a lot of grit and unpoetic death and not solid foundations of character/relationship work. Like there’s stuff there but you’re really deep-mining for it and doing a lot of the work yourself, and that’s by design. All of the character arcs, which are pretty thin on the ground, trend in a negative/dismantling direction (because it’s a tragedy), and few of the relationships play out all the potential they have (because it’s not a tragedy about relationships).

The character aspect of the chessmaster stuff is heavily reliant on the conceit that once people are smart enough they will start reaching the same conclusions in the same way. Like there’s a single most ideal train of thought for every situation that even people who should have very different thought processes will reach with the assistance of enough little gray cells. This isn’t uncommon in smartboi stories, but dn went absolutely ham on it, if you want to make a study of that trope.

The biggest takeaway there is probably noting how the creative team seems to have been unaware that a lot of their audience was actually buying into that between the lead and their rival as a “meant to be enemies” kind of thing and didn’t realize that faction would be less interested once it became obvious that no, all geniuses in this world are taking turns using one brain. I’ll freely admit I deliberately misread this element to maximize my own investment.

Then there are the tricks and puzzles. The odd logical hole is inevitable, but overall they’re solid. They’re also just procedural plots delivered in a less formulaic story than that usually makes one think of. There’s nothing distinguishing them from the weekly puzzle of a House episode or a Detective Conan arc except for raw creativity and panache. There is rarely any characterization going on whatsoever. The twists require players, but you never get the sense that only whoever is being pulled to act could fill their part. They’re always stand-ins for perfectly generic individuals, putting their distinctive quirks and intense personal philosophies aside. This is that idea that there’s one way of thinking that everyone is accessing at staggered intelligence levels in play again. People are simplified until they can be pieces in contraptions no more complex than Light’s exploding desk drawer trap.

This is why the trick plots of dn don’t get pored over a lot by fans. They’re looped too loosely to the rest of the story to have an emotional impact that will make them memorable long-term. They’re deceptively simple, too. Kind of the opposite of a story twist that makes you rethink everything that came before it in a new light. You can’t dismantle dn and reassemble it like pentominoes very easily. A lot of it is grand set pieces, and if you tease out any of the puzzle plots they sort of lose structural integrity and flake away. This is why most canon divergence fic for dn is “diverging” by asking the question “what if Light were less of a shit”.

Ultimately, Death Note only gives the impression of being a complex engine made of moving parts. Its strong suit is its showmanship. It’s very good at carrying you along from twist to twist in a state of mild beffudlement that doesn’t quite escalate to belligerent and securing that “Oh wow! That was clever!” reaction. The mastermind-offs of are deceptively static, pretty much coming down to one party either failing or succeeding to thwart a plot laid out by another in advance without a lot of combating each others’ machinations in real time. Once resolved, twists vanish from the consciousness like disappearing gold. There’s no fiber to them, just flash.

This isn’t critique! Most elements of this story do what they’re deployed to do. (If the tricks needed workshopping, people would analyze them more, ironically.)

I’m myself shit at (de)constructing brain tingler twists and can’t really identify if dn’s are useful for instruction purposes. Not for people who don’t already have a natural talent for them, I guess! It might be interesting to identify why they’re not immediately identifiable as bloodless trick plots, except I suspect it might just be that the rest of dn is so insane and dissimilar from stories that usually contain those? Like I already compared it to two Holmes descendants, and it definitely has BBC Sherlock “let the asshole speak, genii are a protected species” vibes, and the criminal protagonist facing off with a detective premise is Arsene Lupin-y, yet I still feel weird identifying Death Note itself as in this broader genre because *gestures to all of it*.

It’s the least formula-reliant example of the breed I can think of right now, which is neat. (Annnnd also definitely feeds in to people being dissatisfied with it because they miscalled what it was trying to be. Dn is just generally pretty unique, and I imagine the team was making up a lot of its playbook from scratch as it went along, which leaves the audience in kind making up the experience of consuming it.)

All of the above is incidentally why dn is infamous for being very compelling in the moment but then having people revisit thinking about it and decide the he-knows-that-I-know-that-he-knows conceit is actually ridiculous and needs to be taken with a grain of salt.

So uh. This all SOUNDS like bad form, but that’s arguably me being a basic bitch who “likes when plot and character and aesthetic inform each other”, and that’s just fundamentally not what Death Note is. Also it’s kind of a lofty starting goal and writing is hard. Like! This approach worked! We are discussing a very successful property with many fans. (And a weirdly finite cultural impact for its popularity but this isn’t necessarily why.) I guess this is an acceptable playbook, and the takeaway is that you CAN successfully Frankenstein together different unconnected storytelling methods, and it will look dazzling and impressive and barely leave any of your readership feeling confused and hollow inside and likely to return and make fun of themselves for accidentally liking your work wrong.

Oh, also, dn as do’s and don’t’s of building a mastermind character. Do give headlining characters eye-catching, memetic traits. Don’t fail to trace those traits down so they actually represent something at your character’s core because you crossed over the line from “spinning characters out as foils and parallels who compare and contrast to each other in interesting ways” into “all of your smart characters are basically the same challenge-seeking misanthrope stamped with different surface features” -- except WHO ELSE IS GOING TO HAVE THAT PROBLEM? THAT’S NOT NORMAL.

So yeah you COULD study Death Note, or you could binge some crime dramas and then some X-Men issues that have battles in the center of the mind over the same weekend and get basically the same net effect.

[mycatshuman]

The Emo Who Stole Christmas

Chapter 4 : You're A Mean One Mr. Grinch or Virgil and Roman Are Done With the Who's and Decide to Get Back at Them.

Word Count: 3,477

Warnings: stealing of Christmas, may be some cursing, grown adult blaming a child for their problems, let me know if I missed any

Pairings: Pre-established Prinxiety and Logicality and Demus

Masterlist | Previous | Next | More Chapters

Again, a big thank you to @icequeenoriginal for being the co-creator. This was a mother-daughter effort and I love it.

❄🎅🎄❄🎅🎄❄🎅🎄❄🎅🎄❄🎅🎄❄

Virgil stood staring down at the Whoville in the ice-cold snow. 

Yes, the Grinch knew that tomorrow all the Whos would wake bright and early and rush for their toys. 

"And then, the noise! Oh, the noise! Noise, noise, noise!" Virgil exclaimed as he stomped around. "They'll bang on tong-tinglers. They'll blow their floo-flounders. They'll crash on Jang-jinglers and bounce on boing-bouncers!" He held his hands to his ears as if he could already hear the horrific noise. 

Then Whos young and old would sit down to feast. 

"And they'll ready and they'll feast. And they'll feast, feast, feast, feast!!" Virgil exclaimed as he stomped around. "They'll eat their Who pudding! And rare Who roast beast! And that's something I can not stand in the least." Virgil paused in his ranting. "Oh no!" He exclaimed horrified. "I'm speaking in rhyme!" He cried out. "Blast you Whos!" He exclaimed as he fell to his knees. 

The more the Grinch thought of what Christmas would bring…the more the Grinch thought...

"I must stop this whole thing!" Virgil exclaimed as he stood up and paced. "For year after year, I've put up with it now! I must stop this Christmas from coming! But how?" Virgil blinked. "I mean, in what way?" He let out an annoyed growl and turned to walk inside. He opened the door and was hit with a blast of cheery Christmas music. 

"Christmas is going to the dogs!" Virgil blinked as he watches Remy lazily bath himself to the music. Virgil opened his mouth only to close it again confused. He quickly jumped at the sound of his door opening and turned to find Roman dressed in sweats.

"Roman?" Virgil asked concerned. "How are you feeling?" Roman shuffled forward and fell forward into his lover's arms. Virgil's arms came up to wrap around the other and envelope him in a hug. 

"Virgil…I want to live with you. I don't want to be down there anymore. Not with the way they keep treating me, like some ornament meant to be stared at or ignored! Please! I don't care if someone finds out, I can't live there anymore!”

Virgil blinked rapidly. "Love," he started. "Are you 100% sure about this?" Roman nodded. Virgil sighed and ran his hands through the other soft curls. 

"Virgil?" Roman asked softly after a while. 

"Hmm?"

"I want to make them pay. I want them to understand. I don't-I want them to-" Roman groaned and hurried his face in Virgil's chest, ironically too emotionally exhausted to deal with his emotions.  Virgil frowned and snuggled the other closer trying to provide as much comfort as he could. Then, his mind began to whirl. 

Then the Grinch got an idea. An awful idea. The Grinch got a wonderful awful idea. 

Virgil pulled away from Roman and announced. ”I’m going to steal Christmas.” Roman blinked as Virgil smirked. "They want to hurt you so bad, they'll lose Christmas. And if they want a monster, then I'll show them a monster!" 

Roman hopped up, finally finding some energy. "Yes! I'll go make the costume. You work on the sleigh!" He turned to Remy only to stop. "And you just keep bathing yourself." Roman ran off and began working while Virgil started on the monstrous sleigh. 

”With this coat and this hat, he'll look just like Saint Nick!" Roman exclaimed. As they worked, Roman's voice sang a little song he had composed from all of the stupid rumors about the Grinch. "'You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch,'"  Virgil chuckled as he heard the other sing. "'You really are a heel. You're as cuddly as a cactus, You're as charming as an eel, Mr. Grinch! You're a bad banana with a greasy black peel!" Roman walked over to Virgil with the hat and place it on his head as he sang and place a quick kiss to his cheeks before going back to work on the jacket. "'Just face the music, you're a monster, Mr. Grinch, yes, you are. Your heart's an empty hole. Your brain is full of spiders. You've got garlic in your soul, Mr. Grinch. I wouldn't touch you with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole.'" Virgil snorted as Roman danced around with the jacket before sitting on a table out of his way so he could work on the pants. "You know, if you ask the Who's Who of Whoville, No one's denyin”  Virgil spared a glance at Roman and smiled. Boy did he love him. 

"'You're a vile one, Mr. Grinch." Roman picked up the song again. "'You have termites in your smile. You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile, Mr. Grinch. Given the choice between you, I'd take the seasick crocodile!" Virgil giggled as Roman tossed the pants over to the same table. He closed the front door behind him after having moved the sleigh outside and walked over to Roman. He wrapped him in a hug and kissed his temple. Roman hummed happily. Virgil hated to have to wipe the smile from his face. 

"Roman," Roman made a small noise of acknowledgment. "I'm going to need you to go home. Just for tonight."

Roman ripped himself away from Virgil. "What?! Why?!" 

"I can't have you helping me-" 

"No! You can't--no!" 

"Roman, please-"

"No! No! No!" 

"Roman, I can't have you getting in trouble. I want to make sure if you ever want to go back, you can! I can't bare to have you help and then regret it and then want to leave but you can't because you've been shunned. Please, Roman. This is all I ask. Just this one night. Please." 

Roman stared at Virgil for a while before reluctantly nodding. "Okay," he whispered. He wasn't happy about it, but he knew it would make Virgil feel better about everything. "Okay, just-" Roman moved forward and placed a hand on Virgil's cheek. "Be careful, okay?" Virgil nodded. "Thank you." Roman pushed up on his tiptoes and gave the other a light kiss. "I'll see you later." 

"See you later," Virgil promised

-----

Virgil sat with Remy watching Santa through a telescope. "He should be finishing up anytime now. Wanna talk about a recluse? He only comes out once a year but does he catch any hate for it? No! He probably lives up there just to avoid the taxes." Virgil ranted. He paused as he watched as Santa flew away in his sleigh. "Whoops. I forgot about the reindeer…" 

Did that stop the old Grinch? No, the Grinch simply said: 

"If I can't find a reindeer, I'll make one instead." Virgil turned around and faced Remy. "Remy!" Remy rolled his eyes and prepared himself to wear a headband with antlers. Virgil quickly found a reindeer headband and placed it on his cat's head before placing a red nose on his nose. "Okay, you're a reindeer and your motivation is that you're a deer with a red nose and nobody likes you. One day, you save Christmas-" Virgil paused. "Ignore that. We'll just improvise. You hate Christmas! You're gonna steal it! Saving Christmas was such a lousy ending. Okay and action!" 

Remy glared at Virgil before knocking the red nose off. Virgil blinked and then he gasped. "Brilliant! You regret your own nose because it represents the glitter of commercialism! Why didn't I think of that?" Then Virgil walked off and climbed into the sleigh along with Remy. 

Virgil flipped the switch and the sleigh came life, vibrating with power. "That feels good." Virgil turned to Remy "Here goes nothing," and he pressed the bottom to start actually start moving. The sleigh rose up in the air and Virgil grinned. "Wow! It actually works! Okay! Let's go! On, Crasher! On Thrasher! On, Vomit and Blitzkrieg!!!" Virgil screamed as the sleigh shot off and began spinning violently, turning over and over. "We're gonna die!" Virgil shrieked. "We're gonna die! I'm going to throw up! And then we're gonna die! Mommy, tell it to stop!!" He cried, eventually he was able to wrangle control of the sleigh and they flew smoothly through the sky. Virgil stayed frozen for a moment before allowing himself to slightly relax. He let out a sigh of relief. "Almost lost my cool there." 

All their windows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air. All the Whos were all dreaming sweet dreams without care when he came to the first little house on the square…

Virgil slowly brought down the sleigh on top of the roof of an overly decorated house. He noticed a traffic light among the variety of lights. "Weird." He turned back to Remy. "This will be our first stop."

The old Grinchy Claus hissed. And he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist. He'd slide down the chimney, a rather tight pinch, but if Santa could do it, so could the Grinch.

Virgil stood up and tied a rope around his waist. He stepped up onto the edge of the chimney and prepared to dive. "He's planning a double-twisted interrupted forward-flying 2-and-a-half with a combo tuck and like. A high degree of difficulty," Virgil muttered and jumped and dove headfirst down into the chimney. 

He got stuck only once, for a moment or two…

Virgil groaned quietly. "Stupid suit," muttered, referring to the furry suit of the Grinch. Something that helped him scare kids off and leave him alone now was slowing him down from his biggest scare of all. He huffed.

Then he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue. 

"A little more stealth, Thomas, please." 

Thomas lowered his voice. Where the little Who stockings all hung in a row. 

"These stockings," he grinned. "Are the first things to go." The Grinch opened a jar and turned it upside down, shaking out moths. "Alright, fellas, chow time." The moths quickly gobbled up the stockings. 

Then he slunk to the icebox. 

"Slunk?" 

He eyed the Whos' feast. He took the Who pudding. He took the roast beast. 

"Hike!" Virgil called out as he launched the roast beast through his legs like a football player. 

He cleaned out that icebox as quick as a flash. Why that Grinch, even took their last can of Who-hash. Then he stuffed all the food up the chimney with glee. 

Virgil threw the bag up the chimney and spun around to face the tree. "And now," grinned the Grinch. "I'll stuff up the tree!" And the Grinch grabbed the tree and he started to shove, when he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove. 

Virgil turned to find Emile and grimaced. He felt really bad about this….

"Excuse me" Emile called softly. 

The Grinch had been caught by this tiny Who child, who'd got out of bed for a cup of cold water. 

"Mr. Santa, what are you doing with our tree?" 

But you know, that old Grinch was so smart and so slick, he thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick. 

"Why my sweet little tot!" Virgil exclaimed grandly. "There's a light on this tree that won't light on one side. So, I'm taking it home to my workshop, sweet child. "I'll fix it up there, then I'll bring it back here."

Emile narrowed their eyes. "Santa, what's Christmas really about?" 

"Vengeance!" Virgil exclaimed before remembering he was supposed to be pretending he was the perfect Who Santa. "I mean...presents, I suppose." 

Emile frowned. "I was afraid of that." 

And his fib fooled the child. Then he patted their head and got them a drink, and he sent them to bed. 

Emile paused their journey up the stairs. "Santa?"

"What?" Virgil asked. 

"Don't forget the Grinch-" 

Virgil couldn't take it anymore and walk out from behind the tree. "I'm sorry." 

Emile blinked and furrowed their brows. "Why?" 

Virgil bit his lip. "To show you all what's more important ...and to get back at everyone for upsetting Roman." 

Emile nodded. "Okay. Well...good luck, Virgil." 

And when Emile Lou went up with their cup, the Grinch went to the chimney and stuffed the tree up. Virgil quickly shot the tree up the chimney and grabbed everything else before climbing back up the chimney. And the last thing he took was the log for their fire. On their walls, he left nothing but some hooks and some wire. And the one speck of food that he'd left in the house, was a crumb that was even too small for a mouse. Virgil reached down and picked the mouse up deciding to allow it to eat something so long as it wasn't in a Whos’ house. Then he slithered and slunk with a smile most unpleasant, around each Who home and he took every present. 

Virgil took a saw and cut a circle above his head and the floor fell through along with the Christmas tree and its presents. He stepped up through the hole and smirked. "They're in sale. Everything must go." And he began to take it all. 

------

Virgil froze as he stepped into the bedroom of a magazine picture-perfect house. Oh. This was Roman's house. He glanced around at the decorations and found himself smiling fondly. He should have known. Everything just screamed Roman from the abundance of reds, whites, and golds. He carefully walked over to the bedside table and noticed the ring box the mayor had given Roman. He nearly growled as he went to take it before noticing something else. It was his gift. The one he had made for Roman all those years ago. Virgil's eyes watered and he forced himself to blink the tears away. He shook his head and quickly snatched the ring box off of the table. He went to move only to be stopped by a tan hand yanking him down and lips crashing into his. Virgil blinked in surprise before happily giving into Roman and allowing the other to wrap his arms around his neck. 

Roman pulled away after kissing Virgil senseless. "Virgil," he asked softly. "Please, let me help." Virgil bit his lip. "I suppose..." He started. "You can help...but...just promise that if we get caught, you say I forced you to do it, okay?" 

Roman's eyes widened in surprise. "Wait! No! I can't-" 

"Then I can't let you help." 

Roman blinked. "I-okay," he sighed in defeat. "I'll tell them you forced me." Virgil let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you." 

-----

Roman froze as he finally dragged the attention away from Virgil's hiding place. He hadn't realized the Whos would put out guards to guard the path leading to Mount Crumpit after everyone went to bed to protect from the Grinch. From Virgil. But Virgil ran out of fuel for his rocket sleigh and he had to drag it up the mountain himself. But they were losing moonlight, and the long way around wouldn't work. So Roman offered to try and distract them. But now, he was very nervous. The Who guards had rounded on him. Accusing him of being in league with the Grinch. Of course, he was, but Virgil had made him promise and he wasn't about to break his promise. 

"You really think I'm in league with the Grinch?" Roman asked the guards. 

They nodded. "Yeah, why else wouldn't you have immediately said yes to Mayor Anton's proposal?” 

Roman grimaced. He really hated the mayor. 

"If I really hated the Grinch, would I do this?" Then Roman started his song. "'You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch. You really are a heel, You're as cuddly as a cactus, You're as charming as an eel, Mr. Grinch. You're a bad banana with a greasy black peel. Just face the music, you're a monster, Mr. Grinch, yes, you are. Your heart's an empty hole, Your brain is full of spiders, You've got garlic in your soul, Mr. Grinch. I wouldn't touch you with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole. You know, if you ask the Who's Who of Whoville No one's denyin'. You're a vile one, Mr. Grinch. You have termites in your smile. You have all the tender sweetness Of a seasick crocodile, Mr. Grinch. Given the choice between you, I'd take the seasick crocodile.'" 

As Roman sang, he watched Virgil carefully carry the sleigh behind the two guards and try to rush up the path until he wouldn't be noticed. 

"I suppose not," one of the guards said once Roman's song was done. Then they both turned back to face the mountain. 

Roman blinked. Surely it can't be that easy! But it seemed it was. So he turned and quickly found the nearest garbage chute and took a ride to the top of Mount Crumpit. Prepared to meet his love at the top. 

----

3,000 feet up, up the side of Mount Crumpit, he rode with his load to the tip top to dump it.

Virgil grunted as he set the sleigh down carefully in the snow and turned to face Roman who was standing before him. "We did it!" He exclaimed excitedly. Roman grinned, leaped into his arms and wrapped him in a tight hug. Virgil placed a kiss to Roman's lips before setting him back down on his own feet. Virgil turned to Remy. "That wasn't so bad, was it Remy?" 

Remy rolled his eyes as he remembered at least 30 different breakdowns Virgil had had along the way. 

Roman turned towards the horizon. "They'll be waking up now," he said. "I know just what they'll do. All of them down in Whoville will all cry!”

----

"What an embarrassment! I've been robbed!" The sheriff of Whoville exclaimed as she rushed out of her house to her car. She climbed in and turned the siren on blissfully unaware of the rope attached to her bumper. She quickly drove off. 

Mayor Anton awoke with a start and suddenly, his bed crashed through the big window in his room with him in it. As Whos came out of their homes they watched as the mayor slid past on his bed. As the sheriff made a turn around the Christmas tree in the middle of town, the Mayor's bed slid around and came to an abrupt stop.  

The sheriff stepped out of her car and stopped as she noticed the mayor. "Mayor May-Who?" 

The mayor quickly jumped out of bed and pulled on his robe that was luckily still attached to the bed. He looked around noticing the damage. He frowned. "I wonder who could have done this," he said as he noticed Emile and their family come into view. "I'll tell you one thing: Invite the Grinch destroy Christmas." He raised his hands and beat on his bed. "Invite the Grinch destroy Christmas!!" He paused to take a breath and Emile frowned. "But did anyone, anyone listen to me?" 

"I did!" The mayor's assistant piped in but the mayor ignored him. 

"No. You choose to listen to a little not-to-be-taken-seriously child. And they haven't even grown into their nose yet." Anton shook his head. "Emile, I hope you're very proud of what you have done." With that, the mayor turned around. 

Emile frowned and looked down as tears welled in their eyes. 

"If they aren't, then I am!” 

Mayor Anton turned around to see Patton, Emile's dad, and Logan, their father had stepped in front of them. "What?" He asked, not sure if he had heard correctly. 

"I said, if they aren't, then I am. I'm glad he took our presents."

Who's around all gasped as the Mayor gawked at them. "You're glad? He's glad!" The mayor shouted to the crowd. "You're glad that everything is gone.? You're glad the Grinch virtually wrecked…? No, no. Not wrecked, pulverized Christmas. Is that really what I'm hearing?" 

Patton sighed. "You can't hurt Christmas, Mr. Mayor. It's not about the gifts, or contests or the fancy lights." He turned and gestured to Emile who's face showed hopefulness. 

"That's what Emile has been trying to tell everybody. "

The mayor blinked. "What is wrong with you!?! This is a child!" 

Patton pulled Emile close against his side. "They're my child. They happen to by right by the way." Patton turned towards his family. "I don't need anything more for Christmas than what's right here, my family."

The Who's all erupted into cheers and began telling each other Merry Christmas. Emile smiled brightly. They finally understood. Logan grabbed a hold of Patton's robe. "Merry Christmas honey!" He yanked Patton into a kiss. Missy and Pranks covered their mouths like they were going to be sick as they moved away from their parents. 

"Give me a break!" The mayor cried out as he turned away. 

Meanwhile, Emile was looking up at Mount Crumpit before they moved to find a garbage chute. "No one should be alone on Christmas," they whispered as the hit the side and started their ride to the top of the mountain. 

❄🎅🎄❄🎅🎄❄🎅🎄❄🎅🎄❄🎅🎄❄

Everything Taglist: @spxced-oxt @superwholocked-for-life @mirror2thespirit @aroundofapplesauce @lyditist @little-euro-girl @unicornofdarknessstuff @maryann-draws

The Emo Who Stole Christmas Taglist: @logical-princey @mostpeopleannoyne

May I suggest listening to this song as mom or you know @ icequeenoriginal showed it to me saying this is how extra Roman is singing the song and I quite agree.

[tiny-kylo-ren]

“And they’ll shriek squeaks and squeals, racing ‘round on their wheels. They’ll dance with jing-tinglers tied to their heels! They’ll blow their floo-floovers, they’ll bang their tartookas They’ll blow their who-hoopers, they’ll bang their gardookas They’ll spin their trumtookas, they’ll slam their sloo-slunkas They’ll beat their blum-bloopas, they’ll wham their who-wonkas! And they’ll play noisy games, like zoozittacarzay, A roller-skate type of lacrosse and croquet! And they’ll make ear-splitting noise galooks On their great big electro-whocarnio-flooks!”

How the Ren Stole Christmas part 5/31

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[scottbcrowley2]

Padres star Fernando Tatis Jr. to remain at shortstop - Wed, 12 Feb 2020 PST

New San Diego Padres manager Jayce Tingler is making it clear that Fernando Tatis Jr. will continue to make his diving, spinning moves at shortstop rather than in center field. Padres star Fernando Tatis Jr. to remain at shortstop - Wed, 12 Feb 2020 PST

[goarticletec-blog]

Buster Scruggs review: Coens' western homage is pretty slow on the draw

New Post has been published on https://www.articletec.com/buster-scruggs-review-coens-western-homage-is-pretty-slow-on-the-draw/

Buster Scruggs review: Coens' western homage is pretty slow on the draw

Howdy, pardners! It’s been a long day’s ride, so knock that dust off your chaps and take a pew right here by the campfire for The Ballad of Buster Scruggs.  

Tim Blake Nelson saddles up as Buster Scruggs in the new film from Joel and Ethan Coen.

Netflix

This here hoedown, streaming on Netflix starting Friday, is a rootin’ tootin’ new movie from those Coen boys, wanted up and down the frontier for spinning yarns like True Grit, No Country for Old Men and The Big Lebowski. 

This new wagon train of theirs was originally slated to be a fancy-dan TV show taking the form of an anthology of standalone Western stories. The finished film recounts six campfire tales, gothic spine-tinglers and shaggy-dog stories.

Each chapter opens with the camera diving into the pages of a Western storybook, which sure does set the old-fashioned tone for the series of tall tales and mood pieces. Hell, one story is even based on a Jack London tale, if that don’t beat all!

But this movie doesn’t just draw inspiration from the pages of old books. It’s a goldarned love letter to the western genre.

The trail begins with an affectionate return for one of the most old-fashioned pieces of movie lore you can imagine: a singing cowboy. Coen Brothers regular Tim Blake Nelson opens the film riding onto the screen grinning cheerily and harmonising with the echoing canyons in milk white duds. Garrulous and chatty, his character Buster Scruggs is the antithesis to the squinting, scowling Man With No Name of modern westerns — right up until someone questions whether his shootin’ irons work, at which point he proves himself as deadly as Clint Eastwood at his orneriest.

Complete with Tex Avery-style cartoon dust cloud and elaborately twirling pistols, this opening chapter is as stylised as all get-out. There’s a delight in baroque language when Buster soliloquises about “the day’s measure of hoof clops” and saloons full of “customers amenable to drawing up in a circle around a deck of cards”.

This ain’t set in the Old West. It’s set in an old western.

Buster Scruggs rides herd on a posse of stories unfolding in a frontier fantasia that never existed, ‘cept on a Hollywood back lot. Some of the other chapters keep that stylised feel, with details like a solitary bank clearly meant to look like a matte painting from an old movie. Others feel more gritty and grounded, like the tale of a grizzled prospector lumbering across vast sweeping landscapes and getting the muck under his fingernails as he pans for gold over and over.

The Coen Brothers explore how the western was won.

Netflix

From singing cowboy to pastoral wagon train romances to gothic ghost stories, these yarns span various iterations of the western. The main through-line is the signature Coen brothers element of the unexpected: Chucklesome black humour and grotesque violence is never far away. Either is as likely as the other in any given situation, and laughs and violence often arrive wrapped together.

Deliciously funny as these stories frequently are, the endings are rarely happy. Although to speak plainly, the endings are rarely even endings. Many of us god-fearing reg’lar folk expect a twist at the closing of a short story, but life ain’t like that on the frontiers of the Coen brothers’ imagination, no sirree.

The last story in particular is more of a mood piece than a story, a haunting meditation leaving more questions than answers. But while it’s a lyrical and lovely slice of mist-shrouded eeriness, it’s also not much of a resolution. I’m put to mind of the abrupt ending of the Coen boys’ espionage pastiche Burn After Reading, in which a baffled J.K. Simmons tries to puzzle out what just happened. “So that’s it then?” he ponders. “What did we learn?” 

Zoe Kazan joins the wagon train.

Netflix

One thing we don’t learn in The Ballad of Buster Scruggs is anything about the genre being celebrated. In its obvious affection for the traditional western myth, the film ignores or just plum repeats the worst sins of the genre. Not once but twice do whooping savages charge over the horizon to brutally ride down white innocents. In this day and age it’s hard to watch a film that lauds the steadfastness of white settlers forcing their way into the unspoiled west while depicting Native Americans as a demonically hostile force.

From the revisionist westerns of the 1970s to more modern reinventions like Deadwood and Westworld, there’s a lot of life in the ol’ western yet. The Ballad of Buster Scruggs is overall a delightful confection and looks right purty with its endless wide-screen landscapes and desert vistas, but it sure does leave a cowboy thirsting. Part storybook, part love letter, Buster Scruggs ends up feeling like a Coen brothers B-sides compilation, full of half-formed thoughts and beautiful but maddening vignettes.

CNET’s Holiday Gift Guide: The place to find the best tech gifts for 2018.

Movie Magic: The secrets behind the scenes of your favorite films and filmmakers. 

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[power-handmaiden]

Day 214: Not Pounded By The Physical Manifestation Of Someone Else's Doubt In My Place On The Autism Spectrum Because Denying Someone's Personal Journey And Identity Like That Is Incredibly Rude So No Thanks

From the title alone I didn't expect to relate to this one because... I don't really talk about the fact that I suspect that I'm on the autism spectrum outside conversations with my wife and on my private twitter. If you don't discuss something publicly, there isn't much opportunity for people to doubt it, right?

A big thing I related to was the protagonist's circumstances. Someone who doesn't pursue a formal diagnosis, not because he can't afford or access it, or because he masks so well that the assessments miss it, but because he is uninterested in having a diagnosis that could complicate things for him if it were on the record, when all he really needs is that framework to understand himself. It's something I don't see discussed very often! (I'm reluctant to discuss it myself because I don't want to scare anyone away from pursuing a diagnosis if they think it might help them in their personal circumstances but... there are benefits and there are drawbacks and they're different for different people.)

It's an interesting choice, one that makes the tingler more broadly relatable, that the doubt could be coming from anywhere. The title calls him "someone else's doubt" but in the story itself there is no particular confrontation with another human that this doubt is obviously coming from. The protagonist hasn't discussed this part of himself with anybody but his therapist and a supportive friend, but the very idea of someone else potentially doubting him is still very real.

(After all, isn't that why some of us don't care to discuss our neurodivergence in the first place? To feel "safe" from potential critics?)

This is one where the no-sex tinglers' tendency to put novel spins on the formula of erotic tinglers really shines. To have sex with the living concept here would be acquiescing to his central idea. Indulging the doubt. Just taking the easy way out and following the script. Even though the title makes it obvious how the story will play out, having such a well established structure for erotic tinglers makes it so satisfying to watch the protagonist break out of it.

[power-handmaiden]

Day 104: Slammed By My Handsome Fidget Spinner

That was an interesting moment in time, when fidget spinners became really popular, really suddenly, far outside the usual market for fidget toys, for whatever reason. Was it because of the pervasive stress that a lot of USAmericans were feeling at the time? Did we just all have need for a little outlet? Maybe not all of us, the popularity of fidget spinners in 2017 also brought its share of critics who didn't understand the point of them, but this tingler does well to illustrate their purpose before any ass slamming happens.

There is a point in a great many tinglers I've read where the protagonist feels a tension, and quickly realizes he needs an erotic release. This one does something clever by giving the protagonist that feeling of tension, and need for something to channel it into, without the outlet for it being obvious this time. The need to fidget. It's a very relatable scene for those of us who experience it. Getting to spin the fidget spinner provides the release and resolution that the protagonist acutely needs, while the sex afterwards is an extra expression of love and harmony between human and living object for after that need is taken care of, and I think that's beautiful.

[power-handmaiden]

Day 255: Not Pounded By The Handsome Physical Manifestation Of My Twitter Suspension Because It Was Reversed

This breaking news tingler interrupts the run of current events tinglers. There will be one more tomorrow! But, with current events tinglers, Dr. Tingle has a tendency to get them out FAST. This one is on such a personal topic, too!

A thing I've been remarking on since the very beginning of the year is the way that tinglers will often put a sympathetic spin on manifestations of ideas that might be unpleasant or difficult. So, that in itself isn't unusual in this tingler... however, it's very fun to see in a no-sex tingler! Most often, if a living object is in a no-sex tingler, it's to convey a rejection or distancing from that idea or concept. This one is more in line with erotic tinglers about difficult events or feelings, in the way that it's about making peace with the idea and making a new connection with it. It's neat to see the way this one takes the kind of journey I've seen many tingler protagonists take already, but via a platonic rather than a sexual route!