#spider monkey fr

[achespink]

I think it’s so insane how . . scary aphrodite kids can truly be even if you don’t think it at first

[brainbaring]

WE COULD HAVE HAD THIS. WE COULD HAVE HAD THIS BUT INSTEAD THEY DECIDED TO GIVE US THREE FUCKING MINOTAURS AND TWO CATS.

[bihanspookies]

NSFW Kano HC’s

Bc I guess I’m into him now!!!

• Get it out the way first: NO PISS

• Spit kink

• In your mouth, on your pussy/dick, in your ass

• Gathers saliva and licks his open palm and lands a loud slap on your ass cheek

• Will also do it to your pussy right on the clit and even across your face

• If you have a dick he’ll drop a fat one and watch the way it slides down the shaft and in between your balls

• “Ya like that baby? Fuckin’ dirty little bitch aintcha?”

• Will grab your jaw with one hand and squeeze your cheeks to get you to open your mouth. Makes you look him in the eye as he drops a ball of spit right on your tongue.

• “Swallow fr’ me love.”

• Dirty potty absolute sailor mouth. Will not shut the fuck up about how good you feel, how you’re being such a good little slut for him. Especially when he’s hitting it from behind with one hand gripping your ass cheek like his life depending on it while the other is scratching down your spine.

• Fucking loves to get some good ol’ sloppy toppy. Loves when you choke and gag, drool down the sides of your mouth, pretty eyes tearing up bc he’s just so big and thick.

• Doesn’t give much but when he does you better hold on tight spider monkey because you WILL feel that beard all up in there.

• Doesn’t know the meaning of slowing down. Goes in hard and nasty. Pussy? Shaking his head side to side, digging the nose into the clit, curling the tongue into your tight hole with his fingers pressing right into your thighs. Dick? Takes it like a champ tbh, all the way down to the base and swallows. Likes to suck on your balls while jerking your cock, looking you right in the eye as he does it.

• If you got a pussy he prefers for you to sit on his face, that way he can drag you across his tongue and nose and smack your ass at the same time, spread the cheeks wide.

• Dick? He likes it when you’re laying down with him kneeling at the edge of the bed.

• Kano eats ass and you can’t convince me otherwise.

• He’ll dig his tongue into that tight ring of muscles from behind. One hand on his own cock while his other fingers you/jerks you off

• Closes his eyes and groans, stopping here and there to bite hard at your ass

• He likes to finish on your face, likes to paint your features white with his cum. If not your face then in your ass bc he likes to part your cheeks and watch his fat load dribble out.

• “Lookat that darling, fuckin’ leaking out of that tight hole.”

• Will lick whatever spills out and push it back in with his tongue

• Fav positions are you riding him, mating press, from behind, standing up with him behind. If you’re facing him he’ll grab your tits, pinch your nipples, give them a slap or two. Facing away, he’ll slap your ass to hell and back.

• KNIFE PLAY? Yeah. He’ll run his butterfly knife down the center of your body while fucking you, the tip just barely poking your skin. He likes the danger and he likes how your eyes are full of fear but trust that he wouldn’t ever cut you.

• Unless you gave him strict permission to do so.

• “M’gonna come pretty, keep ya eyes open for me yeah?”

• As much as he slaps you, you better slap him back if you’re into it. Likes a person who challenges him by pulling his hair (if he’s not BALD) and slapping his face back.

• “Can hit me harder than that baby. Fuckin’ scared or somethin’? Come on, I can take it.”

• Can go for 2/3 rounds but honestly after 1 you’re absolutely spent because he fucks like a dog.

• Doesn’t mind being called daddy but if you do he WILL make it his personality while you fuck.

• “Daddy fuckin’ you good sweetheart? Lemme fuckin’ hear ya.”

That’s all I got 🧍‍♂️

[imminent-danger-came]

It's Finally Time. LMK Game Motif.

Spider Queen: "The game is just beginning!"

(1x04 Noodles or Death) (Shout out to Spider Queen for being the first instance of Game Motif)

-

Sun Wukong: "So, you thought you had all the pieces right where you wanted them?" Lady Bone Demon: "There are so many moves I've yet to play."

(2x00 Revenge of the Spider Queen)

-

Lady Bone Demon: "Your destiny has not been changed or diminished! Your enemies have done exactly what we needed. And now, my queen, the real game can begin."

(2x00 Revenge of the Spider Queen)

-

Sleep Bug Game: "Sleep Bug! Download now from the app store!"

(2x01 Sleep Bug)

-

Lady Bone Demon: "With this, you will build your revenge, one piece at a time. Five more items of power must be collected, and then, we shall forge your destiny!"

(2x01 Sleep Bug)

-

Pigsy: "I've seen it all before, games suck up the best years of your life until you're left a hollow bitter old man."

(2x03 Pig Pong Panic)

-

Lady Bone Demon: "Just a piece in a game you can not possible comprehend."

(2x05 Minor Scale)

-

Game Wukong: "After you complete the tutorials, you'll learn how to access-" MK: "Ugh! This is taking forever! How do I...skip."

[...]

Game Wukong: "REMEMBER. NOT EVERY OPPONENT CAN BE BEATEN WITH BRUTE STRENGTH! DO YOU WANT TO LEARN A COUNTER ATTACK?"

(2x06 Game On) (Game Motif the episode fr fr)

-

Huntsman: "Why am I doing all this for you?" Lady Bone Demon: "You're only asking this now? Because, that is you're role to play in this game."

(2x08 To Catch a Leaf)

-

Syntax: "My Queen, we can begin collecting the materials! The update is ready." Spider Queen: "*Breathes in* Good, good! I'm not gonna let that little lady play me!"

(2x09 72 Transformations)

-

Lady Bone Demon: "It would seem the Queen's usefulness is drawing to an end. Time to remove the unnecessary pieces from the game." Mayor: "With pleasure, my lady."

(2x09 72 Transformations)

-

Spider Queen: "I was just a pawn in the game! Like you." MK: "It's not too late, you can run." Spider Queen: "Haven't you figured that out yet, there's no running from what she is."

(2x09 72 Transformations)

-

Gold Fish Demon: "The rules, they are simple: you put up something of value in order to win something of value! Win the game, get the prize!"

(3x03 Smartie Kid)

-

Lady Bone Demon: "The Samadhi Fire is the final piece of the game, a tool destiny has gifted me to complete my work!"

(3x11 This Imperfect World)

-

Red Son: "That's how I know you won't lose control—you can't, because you're the only hope I- the only hope this world has left. But! Only so long as you master all my tutorials."

(3x11 This Imperfect World)

-

MK: "Ugh! Again! Remind me how this 'game' is supposed to convince me I'm not destined to turn into an evil demon monkey thing again? Cause every option I pick takes me to this!"

MK: "Same!"

MK: "Screen!" Macaque: "Hey you're finally getting it! No matter what options it's giving you, you're always gonna end up in the same spot."

(4x10 The Jade Emperor)

-

Macaque: "Alright misery kid, you were supposed to realize by now that the choices the games giving you, aren't the only choices you've got! Life isn't some pre-written thing like a video game where you have to do what the tutorial says!"

(4x10 The Jade Emperor)

-

The Jade Emperor: "How is it you come to stand before me today Azure, was there a point where you questioned it, or where you to oblivious with your own delusion to realize you are a mere piece in someone else's game!"

(4x10 The Jade Emperor)

-

Azure, who gave you that scroll? Because whoever it was, they must have known this would happen, wanted this to happen! And they used you to do it.

[caramel-covered-apples]

howdy there!

welcome to my tumblr! 🇵🇸🍉

she/her

a minor

bisexual + aegosexual (aroflux?)

fuck jkr and her bigoted ass

askbox is always open! :D

lgbtqiap+ friendly :]

i’m always open to talk about random brainrot and rant about all the things that fill my adhd brain. you may call me apple, soap, or saffron :]

asks and dms are always open! you may always ask/dm me anything if you’d like :D of course, no porn/grooming pls

other fandoms include: six of crows/grisha trilogy, daevabad trilogy, any of v.e. schwab’s books, hunger games/ballad of songbirds and snakes, wings of fire, percy jackson (and related fandoms like magnus chase), gravity falls, marauders, harry potter, the owl house, phighting, atla

i have a varied music taste! whatever makes my brain tingle is considered a good song to me :) i do have hotel ugly, JAWNY, flawed mangoes, and arctic monkeys playing often tho

! if you don’t want to see palestine/gaza genocide reblogs, don’t go into my account. i try to keep my account friendly, but palestine needs to be acknowledged, not some marauders brainrot. !

this blog is a safe space for all orientations, sexualities, genders, identities, and everything in between! we’re all just silly goobers in the end

younger audiences are welcome, just beware of older content! :)

and my wonderful amazing wife who supplies me with amazing art: @thebleedingwing

my tag system is pretty simple & easy to understand:

#apple rambles - the general tag i use for my original posts, like textposting and shitposting

#apple does polls - where i post my polls (because i tend to forget about them and i need to check up on them when they finish)

#apple answers asks - where i answer my asks! #taffy’s favorites - generally some of my favorite posts that i’d like to keep #taffy’s collection of historical artifacts - where i keep ancient tumblr posts, like spiders georg

I’m currently in a marauders band rp! come check out my rp account, where i’m marlene! @marls-boros-bitch <3

i’m also in a pjo rp! go check it out, where i’m piper! @theghostsaredancing

do NOT interact if:

-> you support pedophilia/support MAP

-> you are a homophobe and/or do not believe in LGBTQIA+ rights

-> you are a transphobe and/or do not believe in trans rights

-> you don’t support palestine

-> you think therians/furries are weird (they chill fr)

-> you don’t support disabled people

-> if you stand against autistic people

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to people asking for funds/donations in my askbox:

i will not answer your ask. why? because:

i have no money to give as a minor and a student

the majority of these asks are unverified and i can’t be sure if they are scams or not

^ the majority of these asks are scams and very, very few (as of late) have been legitimate

my blog does not have enough reach for the fundraiser to get the appropriate amount of funding & attention it needs

however, i still wholeheartedly support gaza and all palestinians and i will continue to reblog posts about fundraisers and the situation in gaza. i will never stand for nor support israel.

divider taken from @saradika-graphics’s evermore graphics divider

[just-jordie-things]

Possessed jordie working on the Spider-Man megumi fic:

BAHAHAHAAKFHGAKLJFGHELFBJ FR THO THAT WAS ME THE SLOUCH AND EVERYTHING

i was listening to AM by arctic monkeys on repeat hence my current attachment of arctic monkeys to megumi !!

i fucking love this i'm saving it

[m4sonn]

┊ ˚➶ ｡˚ ☁️The Gang’s Favorite music Artists.

The gang’s favorite music artists and songs! :3

(Thanks to my friend @peachyponyboyy whom I collaborate with for this posts and posts like this)

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : Pony Boy

>Blake Sheldon, he secretly likes country but won't admit it. 

>Post Malone. He loves Sunflower, got him into the spiderverse.

>Taylor Swift, his favorite song from her is “ME!” and “You Belong With Me”

>Unironically listens to Panic! At the Disco.

 >Live Laugh Laufey, Favorite song is “Letter to my 13 year old self” 

> Mitski enjoyer, knows every mitski song. His fav mitski song is a pearl.

> Listens to one Lil Uzivert song and it’s “The end”

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : Sodapop

>Schoolboy Q. I Don’t need to explain further. “Collard Greens” on BLAST.

>He has a wide variety of music, on spotify his liked playlist has around 7,300 songs added.

> Enjoys himself some Laufey after Ponyboy introduced her to him. His favorite song from Laufey is “Valentine” or “I Wish You Love”

>Kendrick Lamar, he recites “tryna strike up a chord, it's probably A Minooooooooor”

>He is all the way on kendricks side of the diss, He started screaming like a girl when he heard “Meet the Grahams”

>Metro Boomin, he loves the spider verse album he had made. 

> listens to one mitski song and it’s washing machine heart (found it off of TikTok, has been listening to that song since 2020 when it went TikTok famous)

> he went to a mitski concert once with pony and Johnny and only knew washing machine heart. looked at pony like he was crazy when he started scream singing to all of the songs

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : Darry

>Honestly, he listens to whatever is on Top 100 Hits or R&B stations.

>Definitely a country music person.

>probably listens to the “did your boots stop working” song and says he relates to it (???)

>His favorite artist is Hozier, favorite song is “Take Me To Church” absolutely.

>Like I said, No Doubt is one of his favorites. He cries everytime he hears “Don’t Speak” (DON'T SPEEAAAK, I KNOW JUST WHAT YOU’RE SAAAYIN, SO PLEASE STOP EXPLAININ.. DON'T TELL ME CUUZ IT HUUUUURTS)

>Destiny’s child listener, fav song is survivor (he relates on a personal level)

>Dolly parton, “A SINGLE MOM WHO WORKS TWO JOBS WHO LOVES HER KIDS AND NEVER STOPS” (also relates on a personal level)

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : Dally

> He listens to fucking Playboi Carti

>He probably listens to random ass trap music with the dude just sayin “Yeah, oh- yuh, poppin pills” and shi

>In secret he listens to The neighborhood and Arctic Monkeys, “Daddy Issues” and “Arabella” are his JAM.

> I feel like he listens to Peso Pluma, he tries singing along to “Ella Baila Sola” but struggles with spanish.

> He’s also an enjoyer of 6arelyhuman, kreyshawn, ke$ha, and ICP, change my mind.

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : Johnny

>He is SUCH conan gray fan, it's not even funny.

>Mitski’s “Nobody” on BLAST.

>Him and Dally share a cig over “Daddy Issues” by The Neighborhood. They just sit in silence.

>Bro’s playlist consists of The Cranberries, The Smiths, The Strokes, The All American Rejects, and The Offspring, Literally any 80’s through 2010’s Indie or Grunge Artist/Band he loves.

> “Let The Light In” is a song he shares with Ponyboy, they’ll sit in the park sharing earbuds, watching the sunset while reading Gone With the Wind.

>One of his favorite songs is “Je te laisserai des mots”. He enjoys Euro music.

> listens to System of a Down

> secretly likes the living tombstone, tally hall, babymetal, wheezer, and lemon demon but refuses to admit it.

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : Two-Bit

>Lets be so fr he only listens to Disney Hits.

>If it's not that he listens to whatever Darry listens to.

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : Steve

>Listens to stupid shit like Ice Spice or smt, Nicki minaj on blast tho ❗❗❗

>listens to whatever Sodapop listens to.

>Also has the Lion King Soundtrack on repeat.

> enjoys lil uzivert, but only the songs before he came out as nonbinary, not because he’s homophobic but because he just thinks they’re better

[tklyhcs]

alright uhhh i saw some people requesting this on other blogs so i'm stealing those actually, taking those thanks (using this an excuse)!! this isn't the fandom i necessarily wanted to start with but the other ones i wanna write have insane amounts of characters so boy band men first i guess

(IF YOU SAW ME ACCIDENTALLY PUBLISH THIS TOO SOON, NO YOU DIDN'T)

heartsteel hcs here we gooo

kayn 💜

ok fr he's so fun to write for, didn't expect this one to be so cute. easy ler and lee! he likes to be a little bully and use his dirty little grabbers, mostly at ez let's be real. he isn't confident he's gonna win any other matchup so ez is easy picking. and thanks to the blooper reel k'sante is another target because kayn is a scrapper and crawls all over him like a monkey. mostly spiders his fingers all over and laughs evilly like he's won a hard fought battle. he's slinky and quick so he mostly has his target begging for someone else's help, and when they do get said assistance he cries and whines that it's not fair. don't be fooled he enjoys the extra attention!

he just plays to win all the time so when someone else tags in he's sure make everyone know that HE WOULD HAVE WON!!!! HAD IT NOT BEEN FOR EVERYONE ELSE CHEATING!!!! and man that stupid leash why does he even wear it if someones gonna tie his wrists in a knot. and like a true lee he wears that crop top so when he's all tangled go for the abs! he laughs so much it becomes obvious how he got so cut, by laughing his lungs out apparently. when he laughs his fangs show too it's cute.

he's also painfully obvious about not minding since he neeeever calls mercy, never surrenders. he just deals with it! not something someone who DOESN'T enjoy it would do. he could easily call mercy and call it quits but hmmmm he doesn't seem to want to, odd.

for spots i wanna say the waist is really really bad. top of the ribs under the armpits, his abs, his sides, all have him kicking his legs with a shout. he also scream laughs, explodes into laughter at first touch. but his voice also cracks at the first yelp, sounds like a cute lil boy shriek. partial to being "attacked", as he calls it, on the couch. he likes getting to be able to flop down and pass out after, sorta like a little kid it's so fucking cute bro he tuckers himself out laughing and wriggling on his back. dude is exhausted n happy (he swears he is NOT happy abt this) he's just tired for no reason okay. now it's his post giggle episode nap!

k'sante 💛

hear me out ok when i saw his shirt being a turtleneck i was IMMEDIATELY LIKE 🫵 his spot is the neck. it's so the neck. suddenly for him there's more than a few perks of being like.. 6'7" and it's not just being able to get things from high shelves. kayn and ez are menaces to this man it's gotta be 2 on 1. and in the official art pieces, ez getting carried on his back? oof k'sante y'all shouldn't have done that. cause now there's legs locked around his chest and ez is like SURRENDER OR DIEEE and getting all up into that shirt collar. he SCREECHES and spins around trying to shake him off he's stuck on him now. hopping around doing a lil giggly dance with ez on his back. kayn jokes and teases about how instead of focusing on singing, he should work on his dancing instead!

thanks to the blooper reel i can die on the hill that k'sante is a whiny boy and calls yone for help all the time. yoneee helpppp they're bullying me m gonna tell yoneee aaaa. kayn saying OH YOU BIG BABY stop complaining!! no one to help you now! ez is this guy's worst nightmare his cold little fingers are like knives on his neck. k'sante tends to run hot so they're just so nicely sticking a cold can of soda to his nape to help obviously. yone will help sometimes but mainly just because he's trying to keep the team on track (he will also torture k'sante with cold soda cans).

necks are a good tickle bite's worst enemy. chomp. and when someone is up in there biting, he just has to laugh and wait til it's over ☺ and with both of his elbows bent up so he can use his hands to cover his neck. gasp.. who's to protect his armpits! 🤭 noooo one! his neck is his worst spot so he'll make sure to keep it covered! but that does mean he'll get some armpit tickles instead! pick your poison k'sante. they team up on him like this often and ngl he likes it when they're close on em! sweethearts. but he doesn't wanna LOSE so he brings his puppy eyes to yone he's like 👉👈 yone.. help.. what a cop out! but it's not that great of a cute beg it's more like k'sante scream laughing and attempting puppy eyes but yelling HELP AAAA YONE HELP awkwardly waggling his arms. i love making big men be tickly and look foolish. sorry i love embarrassing them uwu

ezreal 💚

wow what a lee he's textbook lee i bet he has a secret tumblr account for all his private tk blogging activities. there's a lot to say about him: MOST IMPORTANTLY though his cute smile alright look at his teeth they're so fucking cute i'm obsessed. probably his only weapon as a ler are his sharp teeth. pointed and dull at the very bottom makes for very ticklish bites, so beware if you're too confident in winning! he will wiggle his head between your head and shoulder and bite! exaggerated fake growls and all. he'll be a little too proud of winning, so don't let him.

he has a reaaaally cute snort laugh too. i think his fans would document it thoroughly and embarrass him by posting clips of it nonstop. he has a more controlled laugh for outings because he's serious about his fandom image, but sometimes he laughs at something and chokes on his breath a bit there. i think it would be a shame of someone (kayn) decided to squeeze his side and make him giggle and snort while he's doing some filmed social media trend. that would soooo bad amiright 🫶 lol he would scream, cover his mouth, and tell his followers that he's BUSY and MUST LEAVE immediately. he basically RUNS to his room to scream into his pillow. like how dare u embarrass him in front of his online friends.

the clip hits all platforms in record time and he maaaay read a few comments because it's people saying it's cute of him and he secretly fawns over those. like "omg you think i'm cute heehee" he's ridiculous. but phel and kain playfully tease him sending pig emojis 🐖🐖🐖 ez is like "DON'T SEND THOSE TO ME DON'T- HEY DON'T POST THAT ON SOCIAL NOOO DON'T COMMENT MY FANS WILL SEE" and they all affectionately change his name in their phones to 🐖 just to tease him.

for spots, he'd be ticklish up sides to his ribs, spidering fingers have him slumped into the couch, laughing hard and snorting, of course. his feet and knees are quite ticklish! only known because he tends to put his feet up and yone continuously tells him to knock it off. but he found that suddenly tickling his socked foot does the trick.

aphelios 💙

he's a difficult one, since he's not much of a talker! but not like he's spared from anyone's wrath. his laugh is what you'd expect and it's fantastic; breathy, wheezy, and full of obvious mirth.

he's prone to pranking the others and while he can be nonchalant and aloof, sometimes the sight of one of the others falling or making utter fools of themselves has him in stitches (and being forced to laugh via tickling is no different). and when he wears his mask it's especially endearing to see his eyes screwed shut as well as him holding his stomach and hunching over, shoulders shaking.

he can't help acting like a little troublemaker and they always pounce on him after he gets someone good with those pranks he pulls. seems like he's more playful than he looks. if anyone stretches, he's the first to poke. if someone gets stuck doing something, phel is there making sure he doesn't waste the opportunity, what a jerk! so do everyone a favor and give him a taste of his own medicine. he's his own worst enemy though, because once he starts wheezing in laughter you pounce on him with tickles and it's downhill from there. he's already laughing so he has no chance of fending off an attack.

and a secret: he's very weak to teasing too! he doesn't talk back he just hides his face in shyness. they fall for a trap he's so deviously placed and now he's under them, mumbling out giggles when they poke him all over saying "what's so funny huh??" he waves his hands at them and pushes em by the shoulders trying to curl up the best he can. pokes drive him nuts and then when you speed up it's even worse, him trying to catch the offending hands. "no timeouts allowed because you started it!"

but it seems like he just doesn't stop pranking the others, so he must like it more than he lets on. he's surprisingly a goofy lil boy. he laughs himself silly, voice hitching and gasping all the way. he laughs himself DIZZY it's cute. he's like kayn he needs a break after. and usually even after whoever is done bullying him, he spends his time giggling quietly his skin still feels electric. he sure is brave for someone who takes so much time to recover.

yone ❤

he's a fun one, the stoic characters always are. most likely to screw his mouth shut and try to deal with pesky fingers at his ribs until he can't any longer. prone to overworking so breaking his concentration is absolutely a necessary activity. and also breaking his concentration playing video games is also crucial, because according to sett he plays too well so he must suffer and be prodded at during playtime too. -i mean what sett would never stoop so low he says.

anyways- yone's usually the mediator but he can get caught up in the mess when someone points out that he's been getting off the hook when it comes to roughhousing. he typically prefers 1 on 1, so he won't lose kayn says. and maybe that's true no one knows. he's really REALLY good at pretending he isn't at all sensitive and keeps it together for, i dunno, 5 seconds. it doesn't seem like a lot BUT it deters most. not these motherfuckers they're in it to win it.

yone will hold back then the giggles bubble up in his throat and you can hear him hum a moment, then they spill out from his lips. he mumbles and whispers out giggles for a moment then it becomes very apparent he won't win this fight and he covers his mouth. that's when it's over. he really starts to laugh and realizes the sensations just won't stop and he's lost. he's most likely to swear actually lol he's like i can handle this. i can handle this..... Fuck.

once he's attempted to cover his mouth he has already lost. he has a very nice, boisterous laugh and his smile is also a 10/10. it's nice to not see his eyebrows furrowed so much. he's lucky he's good at catching people's offending wiggly fingers or else he'd fall apart way more often. so when they trail fingers up his back where he can't reach them or fend them off? it drives him nuts. index finger from the nape and down the spine has him arching and twisting away with a loud yelp.

and that leaves the stomach vulnerable and that's next. tickling at his stomach and he jumps back and grabs whoever's wrist and says to CUT THAT OUT. okay mr. grumpy, jeez. it works as a good attitude adjustment because if he's mad at one of em for fooling around, this can easily divert his attention. k'sante usually has the job of doing so but when he does, he doesn't get yone's support the next time he's on defense. in fact, yone might lead the charge.

sett 🧡

hahaaaa oh man last but not least. most ticklish easily what a mess. being 6 foot 10 is not gonna help him here. sure he can rough somebody up but this is way more difficult for him. the one to be on the floor first begging "pleeheheaasee-" and kicking his leg like a puppy.

he's OBVIOUSLY most sensitive in the midsection he's a tummy boy okay just trust me. and this man may lift, box, it doesn't matter because if you knead his midsection his strength goes right out the window. you can feel him paw at your prodding hands with the weakest grip you've ever seen. his worst enemy is when you do the claw hand on his belly he's in hysterics i'm telling you. wiggling on his back saying "i give! i give!" and flopping onto his side when he's released from their tickly clutches. now, make that two pairs of hands, or ten, he doesn't have a chaaaaance.

he's definitely a good tickle monster to the others but once they elect k'sante to hold him down (he can bench sett apparently so he's gotta be the bad guy on this one) he's like "NOO DON'T DO IT GUYS I'M SORRYEHHEEHE" he preemptivey starts laughing when he sees wiggling fingers creeping closer and closer to him, begging wildly for mercy before anything happens. he calls out to each one of them, praying that they'll help! he's not the one to take what he dishes out.

and also the ears! don't forget about those! they are oh so ticklish and they twitch when you touch them. roll the delicate ear between two of your fingers and it has him in a fit of giggles. any fighting techniques he might know mean nothing in the face of a laughing fit.

first to help someone relieve stress via giving attention and being a stress toy himself. though, he's prone to going after someone first even if he always loses. we appreciate his effort. he'll probably have someone fighting on his side simply because he's a lost cause. has a good relationship with physical affection! his favorite to give: ticklish kisses n raspberries, in combo with a hug of course. try not to get caught in his clutches. if those are his tactics.. maybe he does deserve to get got. he's not as embarrassed as his track record would suggest! takes his inevitable loss in stride.

haaa this long as fuck 👍 i don't think i've written anything at all since 2018 or smth really i tried to keep these diverse so lmk how i did! also like always i do not reread and check anything so. this is it

[brainfilehasstoppedworking]

I'm a bit tired and high on absolutly nothing but air, and i come up with this weird headcanon :

Kiyondo (and a tiny bit Celestia) forced Kiyotaka to watch Twilight. For absolut no goddamn reason.

Here is his differents reaction to the movies iconic moments (that i chose. Obviously)

First movie ; The "You better hold on thight spider monkey" Line :

Taka : Why does he say that ??

Kiyo : Dunno, dude's weird.

Taka : Let me look up something quickly.

Kiyo : *pause the movie while Taka is writting violently on his phone*

Taka : *show something on his phone to Kiyondo*

The picture on his phone :

...

*silence*

Kiyo : It does look like her-

The "Sparkly vampire"

Taka : Why ?

Kiyondo : *shurg*

Second movie ;

The "I am depressed for 8 months because my hot vampire boyfriend left me"

Taka : ... Somehow this feel familiar ?

Kiyo : How ?!

Taka : I-I don't know ! It feel like something i have done in another life or something...

Kiyo : Okay !! Coffee break !! Now.

(I don't remmember what happened in the other movie so fast foward to Breaking dawn part 1)

The "Oh god, oh god, he broke the freaking bed frame 😳" scene

Taka and Kiyo : ....

Taka : ...Is it weird if i want that ?

Kiyo : If it's weird i don't want to be normal...

Taka : God...

Kiyo : ...You think Mondo can do that ?

Taka : Brother !... I-I don't know...

Kiyo : Well you know what to do next.

"What the hell happened to the house- THEY HAD SEX ??? THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED ???"

Taka : I need that man but only for that part.

Kiyo : This movie is awekening something in ya and i am all for that bro.

Taka : I mean, Jacob is more handsome but if Edward do that to me...

Kiyo : Bro ! Stop ! But yeah, Team Jacob ?

Taka : Yes. Team Jacob.

Kiyo : Anyway back to the fact that ya are a slut-

(If you want more of Taka reaction to certain movie just come in my ask box bro, i'm so bored and i'm okay with watching weird movie lmao)

LMAOOOO, OMGGG, TAKA ME FR!!! Get you a guy who loves you AND WILL BREAK THE DAMN BED WHILE Y'ALL HAVE SEX! (I wonder who he gets that from...*looks over at Takaaki*)

Also, yes, Team Jacob, he was a little annoying in later movies, but like...love him <33. I wonder how he'd react to Edward telling Bella he watches her sleep. From the first movie fndne. It's not iconic, but broski is so weird for that, like HELLO???

Also, go to bed soon! Sleep is very important! (<- hypocrite)

[mari1testicals]

What’s up, I’m Marie or just call me Mari if you’d like lol.

﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋

I can draw but I’m not the best at it LOL.

My favourite colour is yellow. Just to put that out there lmaooo. I also like teal but yellow is my main.

I really like cosplaying but I live so far out in the bushes I rarely get to go to cons 😭 but still dressing up is extremely fun for me.

I live in Canada teehee

I’m currently trying to shift lmaoo

﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋

Fandoms that I am in:

Vinland Saga

Demon Slayer

Danganronpa

Attack on Titan

Jujutsu Kaisen

Sally Face

Mob Psycho 100

My Hero Academia

Sk8 the infinity

Ranfren

Probably a whole lot more I just cannot remember for the life of me. 😭

﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋

My favourite anime/game characters at the moment.

Canute

Thorfinn

Muichiro Tokito

Zenitsu agatsuma

Rui that spider demon LOL

Tanjiro kamado

Gyutaro

Sal fisher teehee

Hajime Hinata

Celestia Ludenburg

Miu iruma

Tenko Chabashira

Floch Forster… 😞 (pls hear me out on him)

My glorious sons, Shigeo Kageyama and Ritsu Kageyama

And my husband, Reigen.

Satoru Tsukada

Nyon

Randal ivory

Reki Kyan 🫶

There is a lot but my main four is:

Zenitsu agatsuma

Shigeo Kageyama (mob)

Miu iruma

Satoru Tsukada (Ranfren)

﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋

Even though I couldn't care less for it , Ships I enjoy:

ObaMitsu

ZenTan

ZenNeku

TanKana (kinda LOL)

SaneGiyuu (I’m sorry it’s like a guilty pleasure 😭)

InoAoi or Aoino

Komahina (teehee. Also a guilty pleasure LOL)

HinaNami

Sometimes Randal x satoru or Sebastian teehee

Oh and CanuFinn

Canute x me fr

Before anyone loses their mind I don’t really mind the shinogiyuu ship, but most of the time I see them as friends. Same with sanemi and Giyuu LOL I ship them sometimes but mostly see them as friends. Like friends with benefits or smth like that.

﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋

I don’t really have much friends so if anyone wanna hmu LOL 😜

I picky promise to always be a good friend 🫶

﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋

I have this strange feeling that one of my irl friends are gonna find me.

﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋

I also really enjoy listening to music , my favourite song is Hey Lover. It just makes me happy for some reason LOL.

Well actually I kinda like the cover by Wabie more but I don’t rlly mind which one I’m listening to lmaoo.

Top songs teehee

Hey lover by Wabie LOL

Out like a light by Ricky Montgomery

UwU by Chevy

Lover is a day by CUCO

Get a hold of yourself by Jack Stauber (actually cannot get away from this man no matter how hard I try to move on)

R U Mine? By arctic monkeys

Japan by Yot Club

Touch by Cigarettes After Sex

Sweater Weather by The Neighbourhood (it reminds me of my danganronpa phase in 2020 lol. It was when I was most happy)

Sadderdaze by the neighbourhood

Bro does anybody fw listening to music on YouTube 😭 literally don’t wanna pay for no adds on Spotify

♫﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏♫

[luxekeyah]

𝑴𝑬𝑬𝑻 𝑲𝑬𝑲𝑬 ♛

𝘼𝘽𝙊𝙐𝙏 𝙈𝙀…

hi!! my name is MaKeyah🌷 but you can call me keke, key, keyah, allat! it’s easier anyways lmaooo, 9teen, black, a may taurus (yuhh hehe), currently in school but not really thinking abt going back, and i live in a fake state😋

𝙈𝙔 ��𝙉𝙏𝙀𝙍𝙀𝙎𝙏𝙎…

film

books

pop culture

plants and flowers

redecorating

𝙒𝙀 𝙎𝙄𝙈𝙋𝙄𝙉𝙂..?

the answer is always yes ☝🏽

spider-verse — peter parker (andrew and tom’s version), miles morales, hobie brown, spider-noir, miguel o’hara, and felicia hardy

aot — eren jeager, armin arlert, hange zoe, levi ackerman, jean kirstein, reiner (on occasion), and mikasa ackerman

demon slayer — uzui tengen, rengoku kyojuro, giyuu tomioka, sanemi (on occasion), yoriichi and muzan

mcu — matt murdock, wade wilson, frank castle, bucky barnes, sam wilson, bruce banner (avengers assemble series), thor, wolverine, storm, marc spector/steven grant, t’challa, steve rogers (only age of ultron and winter soldier), and druig

jjk — gojo satoru, geto suguru, nanami kento, maki zenin, megumi fushiguro, yuuji itadori, inumaki toge, and yuta okkotsu

𝙃𝙀𝘼𝘿𝙋𝙃𝙊𝙉𝙀𝙎 𝙊𝙉…🎧

my music taste varies but… sza, yeat, kaytranada, ice spice, beyoncé, tyler the creator, frank ocean, the wallows, billie eilish, playboi carti, the neighbourhood, arctic monkeys, rihanna, sade, kendrick lamar, metro boomin, megan thee stallion, normani, ariana grande, pinkpantheress, the weeknd, doja cat, miguel, odetari, chloexhalle, baby keem, childish gambino, brent faiyaz, 21 savage, cardi b, givēon, and many more…

𝙊𝙉 𝙍𝙀𝙋𝙀𝘼𝙏…🎧

deli : ice spice

got it good : kaytranada ft. craig david

flawlëss : yeat ft. lil uzi very

new jeans : newjeans

𝙎𝙄𝙍𝙀𝙉 🤍 𝙏𝙃𝙄𝙎…

my girlfriend, my friends, watching youtube, baking, baking, plants, shoes (mainly crocs fr…they’re comfy), anime, scary movies, films in general, my cat zeus, marvel, sometimes dc, drawing, tattoos, discord and many more…

𝙇𝙐𝙓𝙐𝙍𝙔 𝙁𝘼𝙑𝙀𝙎…

youtubers : coryxkenshin, dashie, berleezy, kyahnextdoor, monet mcmichael, and deb smikle

movies : coraline, the conjuring series, everything, everything, it, any spider-man movie (except amazing spider-man 2)

color(s) : sage green, purple, red, black, brown, baby blue, white, pastel yellow, and baby pink

books : they both die at the end, beautiful creatures, good girl’s guide to murder, we were liars

[axolozzy]

my friends said my room is very autistic so i’m making a post about all the silly autistic things in my room because i’m bored

first we have the three tumblr sexyman (and spamton showing his whole spamussy. sorry about that)

yes my walls are green screen color because my 13 year old self was obsessed with lime green and i still am

next we have garfield who watches me sleep. very silly. and also Rubik’s cubes because i’m autistic

this fucking thing

gay gay canada gay

my cousin kept beating up my minecraft bee with a hammer last night >:( also yeah there’s a whole ass blanket nest on my floor we were silly last night

speaking of last night, my friends threw my rubber banana behind my bed!!! what the fuck!!! i can’t get it out cuz there’s a shit ton of spiders under there!!! fuck!!!

gay 🌈

spot sitting on my shelf :) very cool

we can’t forget about my spamton carcass jar. spamton fucking DIED. there’s are his ashes. pay respect and donate all of your kromer or else

star box i made in ceramics kinda inspired by tawog end credits

ALPHYS!!!

i made william tawog last year but the rubber band broke and his wings fell off that’s so fuckign sad im sorry william

this realistic snake i use to scare people sometimes 🐍🐍🐍

what the fuck is this i don’t know what the fuck this is my sister gave it to me i’m scared

this is my stick wizard staff

MY JEVIL!!!! last year i made a jevil bobble head in ceramics and i never posted it anywhere so here’s my silly jevil!!!! and wiggly i got from etsy

erm. what the scallop (creepy spongebob creepy eyes they stare into your soul)

monkey i got in spain!!! i forgot what that place was called but it was a huge mountain with lots of monkeys and it was very cool!! :DDD i wanna go back it was so fun

my friends call this the autism shelf

MR SMALL!!!! I SPENT OVER 100 DOLLARS FOR THIS ON ETSY BUT IT WAS WORTH IT!!! MY FAVORITE THING EVER FR!! :D

ZEPHYR!!!

last but not least, here’s me with snakes 🐍🐍 i love snakes 🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍 so silly

[aftout]

Do the ACC cast have favorite animals? If they do, what are they?

This will be . A long posts. Whoops!!

Wanda - She’s never been a big animal person but she holds a sort of deep respect for turtles. “This thing can live for over 100 years? Fuck man. Wish that were me.”

Walani - SHARKS 👍👍👍 SHE LOOOVES SHARKS 👍👍👍👍 SHE IS A SHARK DEFENDER UNTIL SHE DIES 👍👍👍 she thinks they’re so cute she is agonized that she cannot have a great white as a pet 👎

Woodlegs - Has become rather fond of crabs lately. I wonder why.

Wilbur - “That’s a monkey?” He is hyperintelligent let him have this one thing. He was told about giraffes once and has been enamored ever since.

Wheeler - CAT PERSON!! This is canon and I refuse to change it to anything else.

Wigfrid - BIG raven gal. God forbid a woman wants to respect Huginn and Muninn 🙄

Wilba - She wants a pog as a pet so fucking bad, man. Malfafa is NOT allowing one in the palace. Wilba is in shambles.

Wormwood: HE LOOVES ALL BIRDS OF ALL SHAPES AND SIZES they sit in his branches they sing the prettiest of songs.

Max - It would argue that the swimming horrors are animals. Very few agree with it :((

Wilson - He collected beetles as a kid. Goes crazy for those things idfk man

Willow - BEARS!!! BEARS!!! BIG OL GRIZZLY BEARS!!! LIKE BERNIE!!!!

Wickerbottom - Another cat person 🫡 get up and salute the flag 🫡

Wes - He’d feel bad if he chose a favorite <:(

Webber - Okay don’t tell the spiders this, but his favorite is actually the butterfly … scandalous!!

Wolfgang - He used to love frogs! The constant is putting a strain on these feelings.

WX-78 - Bees 👍 I do not understand why but I trust Klei’s vision.

Wendy - Hamster :))))))))

Abigail - She actually prefers rats.

Woodie - He rocks with any animal that is not a bird. Preferably something that he doesn’t morph into, either; he’s sick and tired!

Lucy - She thinks that mantises are so cool.

Warly - He loves oysters but in a chef kind of way. In a “I miss my mom so bad I’m gonna throw up” kind of way.

Winona - A dog person!! Yippee yahooo!!!

Walter - He has a badge in being friendly with dogs. Speaks for itself methinks‼️

Maxwell - Silly Lavae!!! Teehee!!!

Wortox - Platypus … “he’s just like me fr 😢”

Wurt - She chases grass geckos as a hobby.

Dollinda - The briar wolves are her best friends…

Fifi - Don’t even bother trying to ask them.

Charlie - Put some respect on Mr. Skitts’ and Mr. Skittish’s names 😞😞

Wagstaff: ANYTHING HE CAN POKE AND VIVISECT, BAYBE!!!

Valor - Rare moleworm enjoyer!!!!

Pearl - Glommer. That is an animals 👍

Jack - He loves a good owl. Hoo hoo or whatever.

Genny - Ferrets! Hoohoo!

Marie Carter - Everyday she cries that she never got to see a dodo bird.

[weavercobra]

Campfire Tales

A fun little story that elaborates on some backstory for the Expedition.

Once more, darkness covered the jungle like a blanket. Having moved deeper into the ruins, the Expedition had set up camp in a long abandoned feast hall. Julius had spent most of the day transcribing the few remaining symbols on the walls and sketching the decorations, trying to make sense of things. By the time night had fallen, he had already started on translating the text, when Fulla had decided to drop by to give them an update on everything else happening in the lost city.

“...and then she more or less broke the flask over the statue's head,” she explained. “And wouldn't you know it, the thing was a petrified demonic gorilla, who promptly woke up and decided that now his time to rule had come.” “And what happened?” Wan asked.

“We kicked his ass until he wouldn't be able to conquer as much as the surrounding flowerbeds,” she replied, stretching her front limbs out in a gesture indicating she had imagined that result to be obvious. A gesture that was also hard for everyone but Julius to see, as the shadowy arachnid kept her distance from the campfire, leaving barely anything but her crimson eyes to pinpoint her location. “Also got the local charau-ka to agree to behave. For a given value of the word.”

“Explains why we haven't had to fend off those monkey bastards all day,” Wan noted.

“A nice story,” Lena commented. “Reminds me of when I still had my ship. Me and the crew would gather together on quiet nights and swap stories before hitting the sack. Share some rum while at it. Good times.” She took a sip from her bottle. “Mind you, pretty sure half of them were bullshit, but we'd run out of stories pretty damn quick if they all had to be true.”

“Eh, a good story doesn't have to be true,” Lillian noted, wearing a chef's outfit as she stirred the stew the group was going to have for dinner.

“Right. Speaking of stories, there's one I'd like to hear.” The pirate hunter crossed her arms. “How the fuck did you guys get friendly with that spider?” “Well, we hired her for a job,” Harold explained. “Simple as that.” “Is it? Is it really?” she pointedly inquired.

“No, but...” Xavier trailed off, eyeing Julius.

The cleric sighed. “Fine. I'll tell the story.” He took a sip of coffee. “So here's what happened...”

... The day was sunny. And the day was also warm.

Fulla entered the camp. And Fulla said: “Hello.” And Julius said: “Hello. I am Julius.” And Julius said: “Who are you?” And Fulla said: “I am Fulla.” And Fulla said: “I am here for the job.” And Julius said: “For the job? Do you mean the archaeological job we are doing here at the camp where we are?” And Fulla said: “Yes.” And Julius said: “Good.” And then Julius and Lillian and Harold and Xavier and Wan and Bogdan and Fulla went into the ruin.

The ruin was dark. It was hard to see because it was dark.

And Julius said: “I've brought a light.” And Julius turned the light on so they could all see in the ruin which was dark.

And Harold said: “Good idea, Julius.” And Julius said: “Thank you, Harold.” And then Julius and Lillian and Harold and Xavier and Wan and Bogdan and Fulla went deeper into the ruin.

And then Lillian said:

...

“Cut, cut,” Lillian interrupted, suddenly wielding a megaphone. “Julius, what was that?”

The cleric was now leaning away from the elf, arms held up in an ineffective attempt at keeping her magnified voice at bay. “I was trying to tell a story,” he tersely noted.

“Tell a story?” Lillian asked, wearing a puffy outfit reminiscent of the type a bard of the court might wear. “Where were all the descriptions? Why did you use the same phrasing so many times? What was with the dialogue? You're good at many things, but a storyteller you ain't.” She sat down. “How about you make sure our dinner doesn't burn and then I can tell the story of how we met Fulla?” “Sure,” the cleric sighed and got up.

“Okay, let's start over,” the elf said. “It was a warm and sunny day, heat rising from the rocky cliff sides. And far above the dusty roads flew the devil Dringraun, scouting the area for trouble. And as she rounded a boulder strewn hillside, she saw...”

...

It was a warm and sunny day, heat rising from the rocky cliff sides. And far above the dusty roads flew the devil Dringraun, scouting the area for trouble. And as she rounded a boulder strewn hillside, she saw something peculiar. A rather large black spider making its way down the road. She immediately lifted her rifle, ready to end the predator before it could jump one of the workers, but then she paused.

The spider was very much following the road.

And then it stopped, adjusting its thorax to look up.

Which the erinye knew was rather unnecessary. The arachnid's eyes were arranged so that it had no doubt spotted her. Which meant it was a display purely to inform the flying fiend that she in turn had been spotted too.

“Who goes there?” she challenged, daring to fly a bit lower.

“So, decided not to shoot, have you?” the spider responded in Taldane. “Oh well.” “Oh well?” “Guess I'll have to wait a bit longer to find out what erinyes taste like.”

There was a brief pause.

“You'll end up tasting a bullet if you don't answer my question,” Dringraun warned the black arachnid.

“I'm Fulla. I'm here because of a job notice,” came the answer, as she pulled out a piece of paper she had webbed to her side. “Archaeological aide to new digsite. That around here, yes?” The devil descended a bit further, enough so that she could both read the notice and have time to react should the spider decide to try and jump her. “That's us, yes,” she said, having studied it. “I am Dringraun, currently assigned to scouting the area for potential threats. Main camp is around the corner, just down the road. You'll be looking for Julius Leroung. He's the one leading this excursion.”

“Right. Thanks.” And with those words they parted.

...

“Wait. How do you know the part you weren't there for?” Lena asked.

“I read Dringraun's report, asked Fulla what happened to make her being termed an obnoxious bug and extrapolated from there,” Lillian replied.

“It's surprisingly accurate,” the shadowy spider herself commented. “Though I did also ask her if I could get a nibble before she flew off.” The pirate hunter raised an eyebrow.

“Hey, she started out planning to shoot me on sight,” the umbral arachnid continued. “I felt it was only fair to give a little back.”

“One imagines that calling her an obnoxious bug was done with some measure of restraint,” Wan remarked.

“I did have to read an archived version,” Lillian noted. “So it was probably... Toned down for propriety's sake. Anyway, how did she react to your question?” “I'd say she was glaring daggers, but it was more like glaring full on greatswords,” came the bemused reply.

“I think we're getting a bit off track here,” Julius stated, as he added some spices to the mix. “And furthermore, this whole bit has absolutely nothing to do with the events in question.” “It helps set the scene,” Lillian replied. “Introduces one of the main characters, establishes a bit of personality. You know, makes it more digestible. Everyone else gets introduced next, so it helps break things up.”

“Seems needlessly roundabout to me, but apparently I don't know storytelling,” the paracount said, rolling his eyes. “Anyway, do go on.” “Right. So anyway, Fulla continued down the road and...”

...

Fulla continued down the road and soon after found the camp. Several tents and temporary structures had been raised around a big digsite, from which the sound of clanging tools and rocks breaking could be heard. At the road, two soldiers stood guard, engaged in conversation until they spotted the approaching spider. They put their hands on their weapons, but hesitated to actually draw them.

“I'm looking for Julius,” Fulla stated. “I'm here for the job offer.” “Oh,” one of the guards said surprised, visibly relaxing. “Ehm... Big black and red tent over there.” “Thanks.” And with that exchange finished, she continued into the camp.

The appearance of the large, black spider waltzing into camp caused an immediate reaction. Many of the workers stepped away and stared, yet the fact that she had come this far without being stopped caused most to hesitate to try to interfere.

Fulla took the opportunity to investigate the camp closer. The post itself had been vague on details, but from what she could see, they were digging for something. The fact that most of the diggers were slaves and hired workers rather than professional archaeologists told her that either the camp's leader was an utter buffoon or that whatever they were digging for couldn't be easily broken by a clumsy swing of a pick. Most of the camp was dedicated to support personnel, with very little in the way of equipment for the storing and transfer of valuable objects. Again, either incompetence or this camp was merely an initial expedition. If the latter was the case, it probably meant they were trying to locate a larger site and that following expeditions would be better equipped to catalogue any finds. She figured she'd get her answers once she spoke with the one in charge.

Approaching the tent, she found a muscular orc and a human with a hat playing cards outside. Both of them looked up at the approaching arachnid.

“Can we... Help you?” the human inquired.

“I'm looking for Julius,” Fulla replied.

“I see,” the orc noted, before calling to the tent: “Hey, Julius, a giant spider wants to see you.” “Oh, what is it now?” came a voice from the tent, as a man exited. He was dressed in practical, solid clothes and had black hair, which matched his...

...

“Yes, thank you, I think we all know how I look,” Julius interrupted. “Also, why are you being coy about Wan and Harold's names? We all know who they are.”

“Because Fulla didn't at the time,” Lillian replied, slightly annoyed at having been cut off mid-story. “And the story is from her perspective.” “Does it really need to be from anyone's perspective?” the paracount asked. “Hell's bells, Lena just wanted to know how we met.” “Hey, I like a good story,” the sailor noted.

“Though how did you pick up on what Fulla thought of the whole thing?” Wan asked.

“She asked. I told her I figured either Julius was looking for a specific site or he was a complete idiot,” the spider clarified.

“Now, if I may continue without further interruptions,” Lillian said sharply. “Julius exited the tent...”

...

Julius exited the tent and stared at the spider. “Yes?” he finally asked.

“I was told to talk to you about this,” she said, handing over the notice.

The paracount carefully took the sticky paper and read it. “Ah, that,” he said, handing it back. “You wish to be hired as an archaeological aide.” “Provided this whole affair isn't a complete joke,” Julius looked rather miffed at the insinuation. “And by that you mean what exactly?” “The people digging probably couldn't even spell archaeology, let alone document anything. Equipment around here is mostly to support the staff. Food, sleeping tents and so on. That tells me you're doing one of two things. Either you're looking for a site which will then be explored by a follow-up expedition or you're about to pulverize some priceless ancient find, in which case I will have to eat you.”

Julius glared at the spider, caught between admiration at her insight and offence at her even thinking he would be that careless. “I can assure you, I know what I'm doing,” he informed her. “And consider yourself hired. We're looking for an old access tunnel, which we believe leads to the lost city of Rachikan.” “One of the lost Jistkan cities,” Fulla noted. “Fascinating. However did you come upon this digsite?” “I have my sources,” the paracount noted.

“Devils then I take it.” He paused. “Yes.” “Interesting. So what do you need my help for?” “Once we find the access tunnel we can descend into the city. But as you pointed out, much of the personnel here would be ill-suited for such a task. Me and my associates are therefore planning to go down there ourselves for a preliminary survey of the site.” “I hear a but coming.” “But the Jistkan civilisation were known to specialise in the creation of constructs and I therefore suspect any intrusion on our part will be met with resistance,” he explained. “So getting additional help who can also assist in documenting finds would be helpful. So far, you're the only one to respond to the notice. We'll see if more show up while we dig. For now, I should introduce you to the rest of the team.” He gestured with his hands to the two cardplayers. “This is Wan, our team's sharpshooter, and Harold, our defence specialist.”

The two gave their greetings.

“Now come along,” Julius said as he walked off, Fulla following behind as they headed for one of the bigger tents.

Inside, the smell of food filled the air. Standing by a large pot was a massive, muscular man clad in a tanktop, while next to him an elf in a cook's uniform was busy chopping greens.

“Julius. Good to see you,” the man said as he waltzed over and patted the paracount on the back, which almost knocked him over. “How is digsite going?”

“It's going fine, Bogdan. We're making progress,” Julius said, rubbing his sore shoulder. “We have gotten some potential help in Fulla here.” The massive man looked to the arachnid. “Oh. Is spider. Welcome. Not know what you like, but you say if you get hungry, yes?”

“I will,” Fulla commented.

“Bogdan here is our healer and medic,” Julius said. “And also our main offence when in battle. And over there is Lillian, who does a little bit of everything, but primarily serves as our diplomacy and deception specialist.” He looked around. “Where's Xavier?”

“Seeing if perhaps some explosives would speed up the digging,” the elf noted.

“Of course he is,” Julius replied. “Xavier is our stealth and demolition specialist. He's also a few lines short of a pentagram.”

“Is funny guy,” Bogdan noted. “Good mood. Doesn't afraid of anything.” In the distance, there was an explosion followed by the sound of yelling.

“But perhaps like bombs too much,” the large man continued unaffected. “No one perfect.”

“I better go see how much of a problem that just became,” Julius sighed and turned to head out again. “Feel free to spend your time however you like, Ms. Fulla. I'll inform you when we have had a breakthrough.”

... “Bogdan sounds like a good guy,” Lena remarked. “Wish I could have met him.” “Yes, well... He was,” Julius noted, focusing intently on the stew. “And he sure was our best cook.” He tasted the mix. “Bland. Lillian, I'll need a hand with the spices.” “Sure, sure,” the elf said, now back in her cooking uniform. “Harold, sum things up while I save our dinner.” “Huh? Sure,” the orc replied. He scratched his head. “What is there really to say? We spent the next couple of days getting to know each other while the digging went on. We got along with Fulla and the opposite seemed true too. Not much to add.” “Me, Harold and Fulla went hunting once. Got to see how a spider eats their prey,” Wan said. “What a terrible day to have eyes.” “Come on, don't be so sensitive,” Fulla remarked in an amused tone. “I figured you' be curious.”

“Yeah, no, reading about it was enough. I didn't need to see external digestion in person, thank you very much.”

“Anyway,” Lillian said, sitting back down in her bard costume. “So a couple days later...”

...

A couple of days later, Fulla found herself trying to play a game of gnomish origin called Clockwar with Xavier. It was a strange board game reminiscent of chess, but all the pieces were mechanical and moved via intricate mechanisms that had to be wound and set correctly to get the pieces to go where it was desired. If done wrong, pieces could end up charging off course or shooting allies. And having very little in the way of manual dexterity left the spider very much at the mercy of chance, a fact she reflected upon as her paladin bravely charged right off the table. “That means that piece is out, yes?” “That it does,” Xavier confirmed. “Still, you're doing better.”

Fulla stared at the bloody aftermath of her berserker using one of her clerics to beat up her wizard. “If you say so.”

“Alright everyone, breaktime is over,” Julius said as he entered. “They've found it.” “Great. Then I can stop standing here embarrassing myself,” the arachnid noted, as Xavier began packing the game up.

Following the cleric outside, they found the rest of the team at the bottom of the digsite, where the stone had cracked like the shell of an egg to reveal a dark tunnel.

“Now then, according to historical sources, Rachikan was an important forge town, built underground to be closer to the veins of metals that fuelled its production,” Julius explained. “These access tunnels were used as means of transportation to and from the surface. So unless it has suffered further collapses, we should be able to follow this straight to the site itself. Any questions? No? Then let's get in.”

“I should probably go first. Don't need no rope anyway and I can spot if there's anything waiting in the dark while you guys get set up,” Fulla offered.

“An excellent idea. Well then, after you,” the cleric replied, gesturing to the hole.

The arachnid stepped forth and descended, clinging to the ceiling of the revealed tunnel. She took a couple of steps to turn her body, her many eyes scanning the room. It was a long tunnel descending at an angle, a wide track of rusted iron following the floor. It reminded her of traintracks.

“Well. Any problems?” Wan asked from the hole.

“Nothing I can detect.” “Good. Seems like we'll get at least a couple of minutes before we get fucked.” A rope ladder was unfurled into the hole, letting the others enter the tunnel.

“Let's see what we have here,” Julius noted, turning on his torch. “Ah. Tracks.” “Mining carts, perhaps?” Harold guessed.

“This was an access tunnel, yes?” Lillian asked. “So probably more for transporting people.” “Like a train,” Julius agreed, writing notes down. “If we could find the vehicles used for these it would help, but it is an excellent hypothesis for now.”

The team began descending. Bogdan and Harold took the front, Wan and Xavier the middle, followed by Julius and Lillian. Fulla took the unusual position of following along on the ceiling.

“So, how far do we have to go?” Xavier inquired.

“No idea. Rachikan was described as being underground, but how far... Who knows,” Julius replied. “And that's if we don't get stopped by a cave in.” “There's something up ahead,” Fulla remarked.

“Where?” Bogdan asked, raising his own torch. “Ah, there. Fulla is right. There is train wagon ahead.”

Attached to the tracks was a cart, a mixture of wood with flaking paint, rusted iron and once beautiful windows now shattered.

“Has seen better days,” Harold noted, opening a door with a tortured whine of metal. “Seems pretty unused.” “Still, this does indicate we were right. The Jistkans had invented a rudimentary train system for transportation,” Julius said, stepping onboard. “Lillian, take some pictures. I'll begin drawing sketches.”

“On it,” the elf said, wearing a brown jacket and hat as she fished out a camera.

Fulla stepped into the wagon, still walking on its ceiling. “I see it once had some carpeting.” “Yeah. All moulded and ruined. Unsurprising. These damp caverns are not gentle to such materials,” Julius noted, investigating a pile of rotted clothes in what had probably once been a closet for passengers to put their clothes in. “Hey, I found a button,” Xavier called.

“Pick it up and we'll take a look at it,” the cleric replied.

“Okay.” There was a click.

There was a rumble.

There was a slow, metallic screeching sound as the wheels of the wagon turned for the first time in centuries.

There was a lurching feeling of the entire thing moving.

“Uhm, he mean machine button. Not jacket button,” Bogdan offered.

“So I realise,” Julius sighed.

And then the wagon picked up speed, descending downwards into the tunnel.

Everyone clung to rotten seats and metal poles, as the momentum of the wagon threatened to hurl them out the back.

“Fucking dammit all, someone hit the brakes!” Wan yelled, as the ancient wagon noisily rumbled onwards.

“I think I see it!” Xavier announced, hanging onto a chair. “The lever.” “I'll get it,” Fulla said, slowly crawling forward. Around them, plates of wood loosened and flew off, as the metal frame creaked ominously, rusted components slowly splintering under the strain.

“At this rate, the whole thing will come apart around us before long,” Harold noted, holding Lillian with one arm and maintaining a grip on a metal pole with the other. With a scraping snap, the top of the pole came loose, bending ominously. “Maybe sooner than that.” “I got it!” Fulla called, wrapping her mandibles around what they hoped was the brake. “Just a good pull and...”

There was a loud clunk as she pulled.

“It's not slowing,” Wan remarked. “The brakes must be busted.” “I mean... That's a word for it,” Fulla noted, turning around holding the now detached lever.

“Well... Damn,” Julius squeaked.

“Don't worry. The track's ending,” Xavier yelled and pointed.

Everyone else looked up and saw the rapidly approaching barrier at the end of the tracks.

And they began screaming.

...

“And then what happened?” Lena asked.

“We crashed. Hard,” Wan said. “I'd say I still remember that ride in my nightmares, but at this point, there's pretty stiff competition for that with everything we've been through.” “Suffice to say, it left us all rather addled,” Lillian noted. “In fact, I don't remember much of what happened between us impacting and me waking up to Julius healing me. So anyway, in the middle of the pile of debris that...”

...

In the middle of the pile of debris that had once been the wagon, Julius called upon the powers of his deity to mend Lillian's bleeding wounds, as Bogdan and Harold were digging Xavier out of the twisted frame of the cart.

“Wow... That was fun,” the spiky-haired gnome said as he was pulled out. “Let's do that again.” “Let's not,” Wan groaned, as Fulla handed him a bandage for his bleeding forehead. “Where are we anyway?” Julius looked away from the remains of the cart with a grin. “Rachikan,” he said.

The others followed his gaze. Illuminated by the occasional light was a skyline of towering structures, crumbling palaces, massive pillars and plazas and everything else one would expect from such a grand city.

“It looks spectacular,” Harold noted.

“Yes. I imagine our arachnid friend here's got the best view though,” the paracount noted.

“That I do. I also see signs of inhabitation and plenty of movement,” Fulla noted, as she observed the sprawling ancient metropolis. “Julius, I think there might be more than just constructs here.”

There was a scraping of stone as something moved in the dark. Several shapes slinked forward, growling angrily. They were of humanoid shape, their skin pale and their hair bleached white. Their eyes were large and red, their bodies dressed in scraps and furs, each one wielding a club or pipe.

“Fascinating. Morlocks,” Julius remarked, taking a step back as the threatening humanoids began closing in. “It would seem the Jistkans never left the city.”

“Maybe they friendly,” Bogdan suggested.

One of the morlocks roared and leapt forward, ready to smash the man's head, when Wan's rifle rang out. A bullet caught the attacker in the chest, launching them backwards.

“I'm gonna go with a hard fucking no on that one,” Wan remarked and aimed again, as the rest of the morlocks charged.

Drawing his revolver, Harold fired into the crowd, catching a couple of blows on his shield as he shifted to his scimitar.

At his side, Bogdan let loose with a hearty laugh and a couple of swings from his massive splitting maul, its head featuring an axe-blade on one side and a blunt maul-like square surface on the other. His attack was devastating fracturing skulls and slicing off limbs with every swing.

Julius paused to get an overview of the situation, as Fulla pounced on an attacker to his right and Xavier shanked a morlock in the throat to the left. He felt Lillian poke his shoulder. “Yes?” The elf pointed up.

The human followed her finger.

Several morlocks were crawling down the cavernous wall, seeking to encircle them and cut them off from the exit.

He grabbed his mace, a beautiful, bejewelled weapon that he had commissioned upon completing his clerical training, and drew it. The gems magically lit up, casting a scintillating light around it. Immediately, the morlocks on the wall began recoiling and retreating away from the unfamiliar shine.

The paracount took the opportunity, conjuring a ball of hellfire in his hand, before launching it at the cluster. The fiendish fire exploded, launching several of the cave-dwellers off the wall with grievous wounds and sending the rest scurrying away. “Of course. Xavier, flash grenade,” he ordered.

“Wait,” Fulla called. “I...” Whatever she wanted to say disappeared into a loud hiss as the area was filled with a blinding light, the gnome having thrown the explosive the moment he had gotten permission.

The morlocks howled as their eyes were burnt by the flare, those on the frontline suddenly finding themselves unable to fight back. They began to run, howling in pain and agony.

“And do not come back!” Harold yelled as a final salute at the retreating cave-dwellers.

“Well, that went well,” Wan noted.

“Julius,” came a low hiss.

“Hmm?” the cleric indicated, turning to Fulla, who was looking kinda wobbly.

“I. Don't. Have. Eyelids,” she hissed.

“Oh... Sorry,” he replied forlornly. “How are you?” “Blinded.”

“Ah.” “This is why spiders like the dark. Seriously.” “Well, at least you can comfort yourself with the fact that the fight is over.”

This statement was followed by the barest moment of silence, which was interrupted by a thumping sound, one that steadily got louder and louder.

“You just had to say something,” Wan groaned.

With a loud slam, a massive shape burst through the nearby boulders, shattering them. A tall stone statue stepped forward, each step echoing through the vast cavern.

“That would be golem, yes?” Bogdan asked, holding his maul high as the construct approached.

“Looks like it,” Harold said, holding his shield up.

The stone statue swung a massive fist, slamming into the orc's defences, launching him backwards. Bogdan took the opportunity to step forward, swinging his weapon at the construct's exposed legs. The blunt side smashed into its calf, sending cracks through it. The golem responded with a backhanded blow, sending the large man stumbling backward.

Meanwhile, Wan was firing shot after shot into the construct, blasting off chips of stone. “We need a new plan, like right fucking now,” he called.

“Does it look top heavy?” Fulla asked.

“What?” Julius asked perplexed.

“I still can't see anything but blurs. Does it look top heavy?”

“I think every part of him is heavy,” Xavier noted, launching a pebble with his sling, which did little to the construct as it tried to hit Bogdan with a haymaker.

“Then give me a moment,” Fulla said, as she began pulling a string of webbing from her abdomen.

Harold fired a couple of shots from his revolver, each bullet splintering part of the golem's surface. The lumbering construct turned around and stomped towards him, taking another swing, which the orc elected to dodge this time.

The flagstones splintered as the solid knuckles of the statue slammed into them.

“Now,” Lillian called, as she and Julius ran towards the golem, each holding onto one end of a long length of spider-silk.

Behind them, Wan and Xavier kept firing, more to overwhelm the construct than do any damage.

Stumbling back, it blindly raised its hand as its face was peppered with projectiles and swung it wildly at the group.

However, Bogdan charged in with a swing of his maul, knocking the blow off course as his comrades ran past him. The two began running around the golem, the string of silk attaching itself to its legs and tying them together as the two kept circling. The construct tried to move, but the thick, sticky substance completely threw off its movement, causing it to fall over with a loud crash.

Not wasting any time, Bogdan leapt at the fallen construct, bringing his weapon down on its head. The golem tried to get back up, only for the massive man to smash it again. And again. And again.

At the fourth blow, the head crumbled and the golem went still. From its shattered neck seeped a glowing green mist, which vanished into nothing.

“What was that?” Xavier pondered.

“A fiend. The golem's source of power,” Julius noted, writing something down in his journal. “So it is true. The Jistkans did use captured fiends as power-sources for their golems. This might explain my commission.” He turned to Fulla. “Thanks for the assist. How are your eyes?” “Oh, I can see again,” the spider noted with a concerned tone. “And that means I can see that the guys that escaped before are coming back with some friends.” Julius paused. “How many?” “A couple of hundred of them.”

“A couple of what?” “A couple of hundred of them.” “How about we call this preliminary investigation a success and get out of here?” Wan suggested, as the sound of running became louder.

“Good idea,” Julius agreed. “Let's fall back. Very quickly.”

...

“So then we had to run uphill all the way back to the entrance,” Wan remarked. “Couldn't feel my legs for the entire next day.”

“But better than getting bludgeoned by morlocks,” Harold noted.

“By the way, sorry about the blinding,” Xavier noted. “I think I forgot to say that back then.” “It's fine,” the shadowy spider replied. “Just be careful if we end up fighting together. I'm actually even less fond of light nowadays.”

“As is rather typical for shadow creatures,” Julius remarked as he tasted the stew. “Almost done.” “Then I'll finish up,” Lillian remarked. “Having safely returned home, they spent the rest of the day recuperating. The workers...”

...

Having safely returned home, they spent the rest of the day recuperating. The workers sealed up the tunnel entrance, so nothing would accidentally get out.

The next day was calm. With the digsite a confirmed success, work was halted to wait for more personnel and equipment to be moved in. Which meant that for the most part, people were just relaxing. Julius was sitting outside his tent, putting the finishing touches on his report. “So, what are you gonna do now?” he asked Fulla, as he closed the report. “You could earn a lot more money staying here as a full-time archaeologist.” “Thanks for the offer, but I'm heading southwards for now,” the spider replied while sucking the liquefied flesh from a cocooned catch. “I might just return someday though. It's a big site and there's probably a lot to be discovered.”

“Fair enough. It's not like we'll be staying either. Getting all the equipment set up and getting the right personnel would take a while even without bureaucracy slowing things down,” he noted. He looked up. “But for the people here, it means a long vacation. Good for them, but I have other things to do.” “Another reason why I won't be staying. Any plans for your next find?” “Well, I currently have my eyes on securing a...” “Julius, guards say a guest has arrived,” Xavier said as he ran up to them. “Some guy from the court who wants your report.” “That was quick,” Julius remarked.

“Guards at the gate say his papers all check out,” the gnome added.

“Must be eager to hear if we have found anything of value. Xavier, invite them in and offer them a cup of tea while I go get copies taken,” the cleric said as he headed off. “Will do.”

The gnome returned moments later with a man in tow, a human male dressed in a black jacket with lightly curling red hair cascading from his head.

“Can we offer you a drink, Mister...?” Xavier inquired.

“Zadimus Black. And no thanks, I'll be leaving shortly,” he replied. “My ship will be setting out in a few hours, so I must return as soon as I have the report.” “I see.” “Has there been any... Hello there,” the man noted, eyeing Fulla. “Unusual. I don't remember a spider being posted here. Who do I have the pleasure of talking with?” “Fulla,” the arachnid replied, finishing sucking her catch dry. “I'm a mercenary archaeologist.” “I see. And how would you describe the site?” “Fiercely guarded. Already had to eat a couple of people.” “I see,” Zadimus replied unperturbed.

Fulla eyed him. “So what's the court's interest in this?” “The Jistkan Empire was known for its mastery of constructs. Such devices would be valuable to anyone possessing them.” He looked up as Julius approached with a stack of papers. “The report, yes?”

“Indeed. Bring my regards to the court,” the paracount said, handing them over.

“So I shall. Best of luck with your future endeavours then.” The man nodded and walked off.

Xavier watched him leave. “Hey, Julius, since when did agents of the court wear badges?” “Badges?” Julius inquired confused.

“Saw it under that jacket. Was orange with an A on it.” “Might be a new division or something. It's not like they tell me everything,” Julius replied with a shrug.

“Well, I've had my fill. I'll be off then,” Fulla said, discarding her dessicated catch. “Best of luck with your future missions. Maybe we'll team up again some day.” “I would most certainly appreciate your assistance. Your contributions yesterday were invaluable,” Julius noted. “Safe journey.” “You too,” the spider said, as she walked off towards the camp's entrance.

The two watched her leave.

“By the way, you said you had something lined up,” Xavier remarked.

“What? Oh, yes. I've already sent Lillian off to do some preliminary work,” Julius noted, returning to his chair and opening his journal.

“And what are we going for this time?” The cleric smirked. “A dragon's hoard of valuables,” he replied, eyeing the name Ironhide on one of the pages.

...

“Did you have to end there?” Julius sighed.

“It sets things up for our next story,” Lillian replied.

“I rather don't care for that one.”

“So then you went off and then...” Lena paused, gesturing to Fulla's body. “All of that happened.” “Yep. Fun times. Then I went off to investigate a lost pyramid before finding my way here,” she said, before briefly pausing. “Sorry to hear what happened, by the way.” “It's in the past,” Julius sighed. “Nothing to be done about it now. Dark Lord willing, we'll meet him again on the other side someday. But for now, we have all of this to attend to.” He finished stirring. “Food's done. You want some?” “No. I prefer something... Fresher,” she said. “But I can always drag whomever I catch back here if you want the company.” “Thanks, but no thanks,” Wan remarked, scrunching his face. “Watching you suck some poor boar's intestines out like it was a juicebox will ruin my appetite.” “Have it your way. I'll see you all around again later,” Fulla noted, as she faded back into the dark of the jungle.

“Well, that was fun,” Lena said and yawned. “But I think I'll hit the sack once I've had some of that stew. Fucking tired, you know.”

The evening continued in peace as the expeditionaries enjoyed their meal, exchanging a few more stories before settling in for the night.

[wizard101meme]

I think honestly the most terrifying mob for ME had to be those monkey spiders in emperya. they were horrifying. definition of terrifyingly moseying fr.

[lostinfables]

SPIDER MONKEY?!?

I'm dying I fr can't stop laughing

I am sorry to have killed you rip