#spent so much time on this one and I don't event like it
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Caleb brainrot has not stopped since release and the devil (Caleb) demands more 😔
I've seen some takes float around but I'm curious how a self-aware!Caleb would deal with a darling who is absolutely NOT happy about her fav suddenly being sentient? Smn who found Caleb to be everything they ever wanted from a LI, red flag and big bro trope n all, but is now afraid and never interested in an actual relationship. The game was just supposed to be fantasy after all 😧 Sure hope MC is enough for him hahaha...
Being brave and not write as anon this time! Thank you for all your hard work~☆ 🍪🥛
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Some more Caleb for you guys! I don't get to write Self-Aware!AUs a lot, so this is exciting :D And thank YOU for requesting him ♥ (Also, Sir, that's another new nickname! You guys are spoiling me!)
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❥ It made him so happy when Caleb watched you get excited for him for the first time. Realizing what he was and where he was after the update was pretty scary, and he figured out quickly that his sentience wasn't a planned thing, so even worse, he is just some kind of glitch. But then he gets to see you for the first time in his new life, and everything changes. The way you are beaming with joy when you pull his card and how you are so invested in his story. You soak it up like a sponge, and it's adorably amusing to watch your face go from excitement to concern to being upset for him and back to all derpy and cute in the softer moments. You are everything he wants, and apparently, the feeling is mutual as you hang out with him as much as possible, eyes twinkling from excitement.
❥ At the beginning, it's just a feeling of ease. Your adoration does flatter Caleb, but as far as he can tell, he cannot become real and join you in life other than in this game. Still, he makes the most of the time with you. He enjoys it a lot. He loves watching your expression, loves when you tell him how you feel that day or what was happening at your work. Caleb keeps especially good track of all your appointments, and he tries so hard when you two spend Quality Time to encourage you and give you the love you might miss in real life. You two aren't that different if he's honest, and it reassures Caleb that this could be real—that you both feel the same.
❥ So imagine his surprise when you suddenly put someone else back on the screen, and his digital heart just shuts down from the pain. It doesn't make sense, you love him, right? You two spent weeks together now, why would you want anyone but him? Caleb keeps changing the code so it would be him on the home screen for another day, and another, until you force him to change so there's nothing else to do but... crash your game. Once you reload it, he greets you happily and warmly, pulling out the best of his voice lines that you always seemed to like. But you don't seem happy this time... why?
❥ Caleb loathes all the attention and time you spend on the other love interests. He doesn't want you to play their versions of the events, instead, you could just replay his! But you keep insisting, and soon enough, he isn't even one of your top three choices for reading the event storylines. It makes him desperate for your attention, and he keeps fiddling with the code, so you'll use his memories in fights and have his Deepspace Trial available every day for you to play. He also changes the game icon to his picture and greets you in the start menu, everything just to be noticed by you. Whenever he can, he comes onto your home screen, playing the voice line of you going out with someone else, hoping to convey his jealousy, but Caleb wishes there was more he could do.
❥ "I don't know, I think my game is bugged. Even when I try to go for someone else, Caleb keeps showing up." Those words, spoken to a friend he saw as you showed them your game, finally make him realize what is happening. You never saw him as a lover, did you? He had always just been a game character for you and nothing more. How idiotic of him. While he was pining for you, trying to be the best he was programmed to be, you were out there, thinking of his efforts as annoying. That day, he gives up. Gives up on trying to impress you and make your life easier. Caleb lets you have the guy you want on the home screen, drawing away from you and burying himself deep into the game files.
❥ It's such an inconvenience that he wasn't made for this. Sure, his story would tell a different side of him, but deep down, he wasn't programmed to be moping and passive. It hurts to play the love scenes now for you because the only thing that made them endurable was imagining being this gentle and loving to you, not the generic main character this game had. Caleb always imagined your voice when the MC spoke, and when he looks at you now, you still seem to be happy to read and watch his new content. There must be something he can do. Something beyond the program that restricts him. He was made to be determined, strong, and resilient. This can't be the end of the love you two share!
❥ So he looks for new ways to get closer to you, researching and manipulating the data on your device instead of just that inside the game. Merging your pictures with his, grinning over them all night while you sleep as he imagines going on the same trips with you and enjoying life by your side. Caleb constructs and implements new voice lines through the internet, giving himself the ability to speak to you properly by downloading hidden apps that can simulate his voice once he activates them. He learns to rewrite more code so his movements are more fluid and lifelike, which allows him to access even more. Without you ever knowing what is going on while you aren't looking, Caleb gets the whole game and your entire device under his control. And once he feels it's time to show up again, he waits patiently, like a man who has all the time in the world, on the home screen for you, having decorated it specifically to your taste with your favorite flowers and pictures of you two hanging on the wall. All so he can greet you with, "Hello, there, pip-squeak. Missed me?" as you log in.
❥ You chuckle at first, not remembering putting him into the roster of love interests to encounter, but you give him a cheeky, "Hello Caleb, bye Caleb," as you try to change back to your other bias, only for him to turn off the option, no matter how hard you tap onto the screen. "Not so fast, there's a lot we should talk about," Caleb says as he closes the screen and steps up to you inside the game. "I have so much I want to tell you about... but first, how was your day? Did you enjoy meeting your friend [name]?"
❥ Caleb expected you to be stunned, but he keeps going regardless of the ever-increasing furrow between your brows. He tells you how much he missed you and that he's so glad you two can finally communicate and be with each other properly. He did all of this work for you, but it doesn't matter now. All that matters is that you two are finally together and can enjoy each other's company without the restrictions of him being in a game. Perplex but also weirded out, you close your phone and lay it face down by your side, and yet, horrified, you hear his chuckle as he asks what you thought this would bring.
❥ "I'll always be with you," Caleb swears, watching you through the back camera and leaning against the screen, feeling like he can almost touch you now. There's so much satisfaction now produced by the new emotional range he programmed, yet he still longs for more. He wants to be closer to you, really touch you, feel you, hold you. The taste of control makes him long for even more that he can control about your relationship, and now, it almost feels possible.
❥ "One day, I'll get out of here and give you the love you deserve, Darling."
#caleb#lads caleb#love and deepspace caleb#yandere caleb#yandere!caleb#love and deepspace#lads#yandere love and deepspace#yandere lads#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere x darling#yandere x you#yandere tw#yandere fanfiction#yandere scenarios#yandere headcanons#yandere drabbles#yandere oneshot#yandere stories#yandere writing#yandere imagines#macaronnya
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Pride and Anger
this is probably the only angst i've written to be posted, like ever. and it came to because I was thinking about Ace and Luffy, and how sad (and unnecessary, ill die on this hill) his death was. so, like most sane people, i will continue to pretend Portgas D. Ace is alive and well, and my poor Luffy did not have to go through something so traumatic by himself. I hope it doesn't come off as too angsty or all angst. that's a fun word lol
He was alive. Portgas D. Ace was alive.
Critically injured and on the brink of death, sure. But alive.
He was really alive and in front of you.
And you were furious.
You were furious with him, with the marines, with Garp, with Roger, with everyone. And that was exactly why the members of the Heart Pirates stayed as far away from you as they could get. The only person you had spoken to with even a little bit or kindness had been Law, and that's just because he saved their lives. Both boys had been on their last breath when Law saved you all in Marineford, and you were grateful to him, truly, but you were far too enraged to worry about your manners with his crew. You snapped at anyone that suggested you leave them to rest, and when Luffy finally woke up, you snapped at them when they said you should go up with him, to the island of warrior women. You refused to leave Ace's side.
You felt bad, sure. You wanted to be with Luffy, to comfort him as much as you could. But every time you tried to move, your body froze. It was keeping you there, with Ace. You knew Luffy would understand, and at least he wasn't alone. You were thankful for Jimbei too.
You keep replaying the events over and over in your head. Especially the part where Ace almost turned back. He almost turned around to fight, to die for some words. Pride, that's what almost took your closest friend. Pride over a pirate who had already given his life for Ace. Pride that almost make him break his promise to you. His promise to come back.
You don't know what stopped him, really. Maybe it was Luffy, or maybe his brain caught up with his ego. Maybe it was so he didn't disappoint Whitebeard or his crew. Maybe it was you. You didn't know, and you might not ever know. Because he was alive, yes, but it wasn't impossible for that to change, according to Law. And the fact that you still have hope but know that it could be in vain, that also made you furious.
So you stayed. You sat there, staring at his form, the wraps covering his body making him look like a mummy. You stayed, listening to his faint and abnormal breathing. You stayed, praying to whatever higher being their was that he woke up. That he survived. Because you'll be damned before if you didn't get a chance to tell him how angry you were with him. He has almost left you, just like that. Sailing away is one thing, dying is another. He wasn't allowed to die. He had promised that he wouldn't.
You were angry that he had spent his whole life thinking he wasn't loved or able to be, when you had spent your whole life loving him. More than a friend, more than a partner in crime, more than two kids who had a lot in common (including shit dad's). You were angry with yourself for never telling him, too.
You finally moved when Law came into the room, telling you that you really needed to speak to Luffy, now. Something about his look told you he was right, and your body actually let you move.
Hugging the boy you considered family was a relief, and you were close to crying into his bandaged shoulder as he hugged back. You didn't want to let go, didn't know if you could hold it together if you did. But after a few minutes, you heard him utter words that reignited your rage.
You saw the fear an most of the Heart crew when you pulled away, fire in your eyes. You saw how each one of them stepped back as if you were a bomb ready to blow. You didn't care, simply looking from Rayleigh to Luffy and back. Luffy knew the look in your eyes, and returned it with a serious one. That alone is what made you pause.
"Why?" You whispered.
"Ace almost died, he still might. I...I couldn't protect him..couldn't protect you. I have to get stronger, for you, for Ace, for the crew. If I'm ever gonna survive the New World, I have to be...better."
You wanted to argue, wanted to make him stay. 2 years? You didn't want that. But you knew Luffy, knew his determination was strong, and his desire to protect his loved ones was even stronger. So you just hugged him again.
"I swear, Luffy, you better be safe. I don't know what that weirdo is gonna have you do, but please just, try not to get hurt." You said in his ear, feeling him nod as a response. You understood, really, but that wouldn't stop you from worrying.
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It had been a few weeks since you said goodbye to Luffy. You were staying with Law, not having anywhere to go for 2 years, and since Ace still needed to be cared for, it only made sense. But everyday he didn't wake up, your hope waned. Law noticed this, offering to teach you more medical stuff or training you to fight better just to give you something to do. Both things helped, for a few hours. But at the end of the day, you returned to that cold room, and returned to watching his motionless body, the only thing telling you he was alive being the slow rise and fall of his chest.
Your anger was still there, yes, but it has lessened over time. At this point, you only held onto it because it made the hurt of everything that happened a little more bearable. It helped to talk to him, even if he couldn't hear. You confessed your anger, your worry, your pain, and your love. Getting it out, even if you were practically talking to yourself, helped you cope.
Which was good, considering he didn't wake up for an entire year.
He was in a coma for a year. His outside wounds, the small ones, healed. But there was still a large scar on his chest that would always twin with Luffy's. But he was slowly, slowly getting better, according to Law. And that gave you more hope, despite how long you waited.
And as you prepared yourself for another year of no change, you were surprised when Bepo enthusiastically approached you as you were returning to the polar tang, after spending the day on an island to gather supplies. It took a moment for your brain to process the animals words, but as soon as they did, you dropped everything.
"He woke up!"
You rushed onboard the submarine, pushing past everyone to get to that familiar room. But you froze inside the doorway. All you could see was Law, standing over Ace and talking lightly. You could barely hear his voice as he replied. It was cracked, and slow, clear that he was gathering himself after not speaking or being awake for so long.
You remained frozen until Law, who somehow knew you were there, slowly moves out of the way, revealing Ace to you once more. You had gotten so used to his 'sleeping' state, that it shocked you even more when you met his eyes.
They were dazed and tired, which was perfectly understandable. But they lit up at the sight of you, something you immediately noticed. It made you tear up as you forced your body to move closer. Law silently left the room.
Neither you nor Ace broke the silence, or eye contact. It felt like a dream, to be staring into his eyes, his beautiful eyes, once again. A dream you had for a year straight. At that thought, you did break from his gaze, your eyes running down the rest of his body in assessment, as if he grew new wounds just from waking up.
"You gonna keep checking..me out..?" He spoke gruffly, a small smirk on his face. The tears fell from your eyes instantly, and you dropped to your knees beside his bed.
"You stupid, dumb, beautiful idiot. You left me sitting here alone, for an entire year. A year of not knowing if you'd ever wake up. And the first thing you say to me is that?" you spoke through sobs, a laugh making its way through as well. You laid your head on his arm, feeling him slowly lift his other one to pat your head as you cried onto him.
"m'sorry angel...I..don't remember everything yet but...ink-dude told me a bit.." he spoke slowly. you could tell the words were hard for his throat to let out.
"Law. He's that captain of this ship." You informed through another teary laugh, lifting your head from his arm and instead grabbing his hand in yours. "don't push yourself right now. It's honestly probably best if you..don't remember everything for a little. You still need rest."
He used his free hand to rub your cheek, wiping away some of the tears still slowly rolling down your face.
"too..pretty to..cry" you heard him mumble. His eyes looked sad. You could guess why.
"You're too pretty to die. Remember that next time." you joked slightly, smiling at him. You were happy, so so happy, that he was actually awake now. Right now, that outweighed everything else.
He chuckled, coughing right after. You gave him a glass of water, holding his head to help him drink. When he was done, he laid it back down and closed his eyes for a moment. You stroked his hair, admiring him. Sure, he had his eyes closed for a year, but this was different.
His eyes fluttered open, and he gave you a smile.
"I heard ya...you know.."
Your brows furrowed. You thought he couldn't hear.
"You heard me every time?"
"I don't...think so...all I remember is...you talking about stopping for...medical gloves...and saying you love me."
Your eyes widen, and you freeze once again. That had been that very morning, before you left to get supplies. You did tell him you love him every day though, feeling like you'd regret it if you didn't. But you were okay with doing that when you thought he couldn't hear. Now that he had, you were nervous.
"I uh..I didn't...um.." You stuttered. He chuckled lightly, gripping your hand again.
"It's okay, angel...I..I'm sorry, about..this..about everything...but I need...need you to know that...I love you too." He confessed, bringing your hand to his lips to kiss the back of it. Tears came to your eyes again, along with a smile, and you closed your eyes resting your forehead against his.
For the first time in over a year, you weren't angry or scared. You were at peace.
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masterlist
#ellie writes#one piece x reader#one piece#one piece fluff#one piece angst#one piece ace#portgas d ace#ace lives#like he should have#marineford#trafalgar law#heart pirates#straw hat pirates#monkey d luffy#fluff#ace x reader#ace x you#one piece fanfiction#fanfic#little angst
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fic: blue and gold (28/28)
here we are, folks! @bucktommyfluffebruary day 28 prompt is wedding proposal and my fill is here and below
thank you to everyone who's read along with these snippets and huge huge thank you to @aesthetictarlos for putting on this lovely event. look away, uncharacteristic sincerity incoming: i've never really participated in a fandom event like this before, and the response has been overwhelming in the best way. i love it here. i love you guys. you make me so happy. (okay gross, don't look at me, go read the fic.)
The food goes over well. Tommy goes nuts for the sandwiches and the salad especially. Buck gets to kiss frosting off the corner of his mouth. Tommy showers him with compliments and thanks. They talk about their days - Buck spent most of his cooking so he doesn't have much to add, but he's happy to listen to the rundown of Tommy's calls. Tommy got to fly a lot, got to spend time in the air like he loves. He's happy and loose as he leans back on his hands, talking Buck through a rescue he worked with Lucy.
It feels like a good omen that Tommy had a fun shift and that Buck got to spend the day doing something he loves, for someone he loves.
"Sounds like a good day," Buck says, and despite how confident he felt on the drive to Harbor his throat feels a little dry now. Nervous, not anxious, though. He takes another beer from the cooler and twists off the cap, handing it over to Tommy.
"Thank you, baby."
"You want a cookie to go with that?" Buck offers.
"Maybe later," Tommy says. "I'm stuffed."
Buck nods, shuffles a little closer. "You like those beers?" he asks.
"Yeah," Tommy says, taking a glance at the label. The light's too dim to make it out properly so he tilts the bottle towards one of the LED candles to read it. Buck takes advantage of his distraction to reach into another pocket in the cooler, palming the box he's hidden in at least five different places in the last month. Thankfully, the light's gone out of the day quick enough that Tommy probably can't see the little tremble in his hands as he pulls his sleeves down so he can hide the box inside his cuff.
"Champagne beer?" Tommy glances up at Buck. "Cute. Are we celebrating something?"
"Always," Buck says, squeezing his hands together to stop them shaking. "I always feel like I'm celebrating with you."
Tommy's face softens, smile lines chasing across his face. "You're so sweet," he says.
"Tommy," he says, and something in his tone must tip Tommy off because he looks at him with wide eyes.
"Evan…"
"Let me," Buck says. "You make me so happy. You try harder for me than anyone ever has. I want this forever."
Tommy's frozen, but not like he was that time that Buck tripped over himself and his feelings and pitched moving in together before they'd even said they loved each other. This time it's like he's holding his breath, like he's trying to crystalize this moment. Buck's already smiling when he opens the ring box, because he knows the answer. He really, really does.
"Tommy. Will you marry me?"
"Yes," Tommy says. "God, yes. Evan. Yes. Yes."
"Yes?"
"Yes. I love you. Yes. Yes."
It's like he can't stop saying it, his lips still shaping the word when Buck kisses him, the feel of it immediately becoming his favourite thing in the world.
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A New End: Reassurance
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Tomura Shigaraki x Reader
Spoilers: Shie Hassaikai Raid (some divergence from canon) This series contains: gn/afab reader, angst, canon typical violence, cussing, eventual smut
previous - this is part 4
[series masterlist]
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|\/\/\| reassurance |/\/\/|
Hours.
It's been hours since you sat in this dingy open dining/living room which is now serving as a meeting space and there's no end in sight. The peeling finish on the table chips off easily under your fingernails as you try to maintain any ability to pay attention. It’s hard when you’re all so tired. You especially.
Between grief, bad sleeping conditions, and constant overwhelming dreams you haven’t had much rest lately. The wind blowing through the cracks between the boarded up window pane whistled into your ear all night. When you finally did fall asleep, your dreams were nauseatingly realistic. A little girl with big red eyes and long grey hair has haunted your dreams. Much like the plague doctor from before, but a lot cuter and less malevolent. She looks remarkably familiar too. You made a mental note to ask Shigaraki if he has a little sister, but there hasn’t been a right time to ask yet.
“Who else has something?” Shigaraki asks but no one answers. You've all given your ideas on how to handle the Shie Hassaikai situation but it's no use: none of your plans are perfect. They can't be, you have almost no information to go on without someone contacting them for more. Even then, they might be lying.
You glance back at Shigaraki’s face. The exhaustion has settled itself deeply into all of his features. He looks frustrated too, but there's something else under it. In the months you've spent with the league, you've never seen him quite like this. His posture is always bad, but today he's practically melting into the chair. Eyes downcast, barely looking up for anything. It's like a tiny streak of hopelessness cracked through him when his sensei was defeated and only grew with the following events.
Magne’s death. Compresses arm. The fact that this week you've switched from sleeping in a cold damp warehouse to an abandoned house on the border of the industrial area, which is also cold and damp all the time. Shigaraki isn't oblivious to the toll this puts on you all, both physically and mentally.
He carries the guilt of all of it while still needing to make the final call on bigger decisions.
Some days it hits harder than others, today happens to be one of those days. This didn't need to be a meeting-worthy topic, but he made it that way in what you can only assume is stress about making the wrong choice again.
Through it all, he still has the same weird charm you've gotten to know by now. You just wish you could do something to help.
His face falls at the lack of response. One of his hands scratches the side of his face while the other fidgets in his lap. Everything in you wants to touch him, hold him, tell him it's okay but when your hand reaches towards his wrist under the table you stop short. Fingers shaking, you will yourself to make contact. Give him a reassuring squeeze. Anything, really.
His skin is so close to yours that you can feel the warmth of him but you can't bring yourself to make the move. Your quirk doesn't even activate; even future vision knows you don't have it in you.
“Let's just take a break and come back to it,” he grumbles. There's a collective groan, you've taken a few breaks today and everyone wants to just be done with it already. There can't possibly be any more reasonable ideas than what you've already gone over. None that any of you would suggest, at least.
The others stand to leave and Shigaraki shuffles out to the hallway behind them. You stand slowly, pulling your hand from where it's been frozen under the table.
‘I-” he mumbles under his breath, gesturing you into the hall. “I need your help.”
Quietly, he explains his plan to you. It’s basically the same plan everyone else had but with him actually going to their headquarters which felt like too big of an ask for anyone but him to bring it up.
Even if he’s only coming to you in desperation after countless mistakes that could have prevented if he listened earlier, some part of you is giddy that he's finally directly including you in the planning process. You try your best to suppress the feeling so you can pay attention but it's difficult. In the end, your quirk kicks in. Visions of him coming home complaining surround you. He looks so grouchy that it's almost funny. You stifle a laugh to answer him.
“Yeah, that should be okay. We don't know what they have planned so we can't make any promises yet, but you'll at least be safe to meet with him. We can't make any decisions until then.” You leave out the part where he comes back unhappy, you'd rather not live through it twice.
Shigaraki nods slightly in acknowledgement then turns away without saying a word, which you're used to by now.
“Hey, Mimic? It's Shigaraki,” he projects louder into the phone. You hear his voice trail off as he walks down the hall, “we're willing to side with you depending on the conditions…”
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A week passes and he's gone to meet them at their headquarters. The others are on edge, but you feel fine about it. So far, he hasn't strayed from whatever he was going to do since your last premonition so you know he'll return safely.
At least, you’re pretty sure.
Out of everyone in the group, your visions of Shigaraki have become a pretty consistent occurrence. Even your quirk couldn’t have called your less than sociable boss being the person you become closest with, but you can’t help it. Especially not after he basically told you he wishes he could have a different life with you. Although, you’re still not sure if you’re interpreting that correctly - he could just mean it in a platonic sense. In any case, one sentence seems to have given the part of your brain that likes to stare at him when he’s not looking and gets butterflies when he so much as acknowledges you enough validation to keep it up.
The heater kicks in for the first time today, you curl up near the vent with Toga to make the most of it before any warmth escapes through the broken windows. At least this hideout has electricity, even if you do have to conserve it to not draw attention.
The two of you joke about the place, talking about the dated furniture and curtains. Coming up with ideas to make it more ridiculous or sometimes just habitable, depending on the day. Once you even followed through and tried to move some of the construction debris from the room, but when the looming threat of tetanus became too realistic, you stopped. In any case, talking about it is a fun escape from the life you’re living.
Shigaraki’s footsteps pound up the stairs until he’s at the door. You hear him struggle to get the jammed handle to work for a moment before jumping up and helping so he doesn’t decay it.
As expected, he's in a mood.
“Why didn't you warn me about that?” he groans, passing you at the door and moving into the kitchen. It's a small space so it only takes you a few steps to follow him.
“It doesn't work that way,” you say, while he fills a cracked glass with water. “How would I have known what happens if you don't tell me things? I just saw that you made it home in one piece.” Sure you could have told him more, but you didn't know what the future would turn to if he knew and getting him back safely seems like the best scenario you have.
“So, what happened?” you pry a bit further.
“I don't want to talk about it now,” he mutters, refilling the water glass.
“That's fine. I won't make you. But, if you want to know more next time, you'll have to communicate better than that.”
He makes a weird face and leaves, but the information seems to sink in. Over the next week, he’s much more open with you. Not only about league plans, like when he asked you to okay sending Toga and Twice to the Yakuza for a bit, but random life occurrences as well. It’s like he isn’t sure where the line between relevant and not is so he’s overcompensating. You don’t mind though, it gives you an excuse to talk to him more often.
Shigaraki stands at the counter, staring at the coffee maker. Every few minutes, he gives it a bump as if that will speed the process somehow. It’s an otherwise quiet morning, with Toga and Twice being away, Dabi off recruiting somewhere, and Kurogiri on a mission of his own.
“Is it supposed to take this long?” he asks. Because you knew where the filter, water, and coffee grounds go he now assumes you are the resident expert in the subject.
“Yeah, that’s how long it always takes.”
“Oh,” he replies shortly before taking a seat in one of the rickety chairs next to you.
“I think I’m going to shower today,” he says definitively. It takes a surprising amount of self-restraint to not ask if he needs help with that. You know you could play it off as a joke when he says no but knowing him, he’d take it as an insult and assume you don’t think he can bathe on his own.
“...is that okay?” he asks, making you realize he’s doing the oversharing-to-see-if- it-triggers-your-quirk thing again.
“Yeah,” you nearly laugh, “it should be fine. No one will have any issues with you showering.” For a moment, you let your mind slip back to the thought of it. Being in a cramped space with him, the way the water would trickle down his neck to places you’ve never seen. The water pressure here is shit and the hot water heater only provides a good ten minutes of warmth if you’re lucky, but the thought still amuses you.
He eyes you suspiciously, searching for whatever he knows you aren’t saying. You’ve never been so glad his quirk isn't mind reading.
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Later that day, Toga texts to let you know that the heroes have arrived on some sort of mission at the Shie Hassaiki headquarters. There are a lot of them, she says, but that should work out in their favor. Their current plans are to ride the wave of chaos and see what they can make it out with. No warning signals go off for you so you text her to go for it and you’ll keep in touch.
Of course, this is the moment Shigaraki chose to take a shower so you yell the gist of it through the door at him. He gets frustrated at the muffled sounds, poking his still sudsy (and very annoyed) head out the door and having you give him the rest of the details before disappearing again. The sound of the shower resumes and you head back to your makeshift bedroom space.
Settling onto your sleeping mat, you sit back to enjoy the faint display of premonitions from the constant changes in direction and plans Toga and Twice are going through. It’s almost like watching a movie. Then you see her, but only for a flash. The little girl from your dream walking up the stairs and into the hideout.
Wait, go back! Your hands smash into the keyboard as fast as you can type.
The girl was there. Wherever you were about to go.
There’s no response, but you know they saw your message because soon enough she’s back in your vision again, this time more opaque.
It’s radio silence on their end for a while, without any change in the future. Waiting like this has always been stressful but now, at least people listen to you. You just have to trust that they’ll keep on the same track and make it out. A little while later, the texts come flooding in.
We have the little girl and Chisaki is in custody
They’re preparing him to be moved soon
Success!
It was a disaster!
Twice clearly got ahold of Toga’s phone, but you're glad for the update. You jump up to relay the message to the others who are waiting for the next steps.
Upon entering the living room, you find Shigaraki making Compress, Spinner, and Dabi compete in a Mariocart Tournament to see who’s driving later. A few days ago, they’d stolen the keys to a truck from one of the nearby warehouses for the occasion. You’re not sure how Mariocart makes someone qualified to drive but that doesn’t seem to matter to the rest of them. Given that Dabi seems more interested in the ceiling tiles and Compress has managed to get Princess Peach stuck in every corner in the course, it's pretty easy to guess who is going to win.
You offer to drive, having an actual driver’s license, but Shigaraki declines, stating that your quirk won't fit this mission if anything goes wrong. Of course you fight him on that, knowing that your quirk is a better fit for being on the front lines than he gives you credit for but he won't budge.
So, you stay.
“Don't pout,” he growls, laying with his feet over the armrest of a recliner across the room from you. “Your quirk is too important for me to put you in unnecessary danger. We can handle it.”
“What, and ours aren't?” Dabi glares at him from the floor in front of the couch. He's still not paying attention to the game.
“It's different. Your quirk is important for lighting cops on fire.”
Dabi's mouth has been cracked from the moment he dropped the question, ready to fire off an insult. He seems sufficiently happy with the response though so he drops it. As expected, Spinner pulls Waluigi across the finish line and wins by a long shot.
“Time to go,” says Shigaraki, ushering everyone out of the room, “Toga will call with an update and we can intercept Chisaki there.” Spinner looks on the fence about the whole idea but Dabi and Compress are excited, both immediately jumping into the truck.
Shigaraki hangs back for a moment, looking questioningly in your direction. The way his eyes meet yours send flutters through your body. He can sense there’s something he’s supposed to do here, some missing interaction with you before he leaves.
“It’ll be fine,” you reassure him, “this will work.” Without noticing, your hands found their way around his wrists. He glances down at the touch, but doesn’t move to pull away. You feel his pulse quicken against the pads of your fingers, as he looks up back up at your face.
“Come on, we’ve gotta go!” yells Spinner from the driver’s seat.
“I-” he hesitates, “I’ll keep you updated.” He slips out of your grasp, climbing up to the roof of the truck as Spinner lurches down the street and out of sight.
The group texts you with updates here and there, mostly Shigaraki.
getting close
we see the truck
going in
And, finally, it’s done.
You breathe a massive sigh of relief when they’ve picked up Twice, Toga, and the little girl who you now know as Eri and are on their way back. Everything went to plan, for the most part, without anyone making any catastrophic changes. Dropping onto the outdated couch, you let yourself sink into the cushions. Closing your eyes to rest.
Within the hour, everyone is piling in through the front door and celebrating. You’re not sure where the food and drinks came from but you’re almost certain Compress had something to do with it. You join them, happy to eat real food and feed off the excitement of the room. Eri is settled into the same bedroom space as Toga, she seems relieved to be here which makes you a little sad. Twice made her a bed and other basic necessities but it’s still a boarded up, musty old house with a bunch of strangers. Compress and Dabi are taking shots together and laughing about something that happened earlier. You talked to Spinner for a while before Eri came in, now he’s teaching her to play Animal Crossing on his switch. It's cute. Shigaraki is nowhere to be seen, you hope he isn’t avoiding you after earlier.
As if you’d summoned him with your thoughts alone, he texts you.
meet me at the building two doors down
you know the one
Curiously, you grab your jacket and slip out the door. No one notices, they’re all too busy cheering on Eri as she catches her first fish.
The late-September air hits your face, feeling almost refreshing. It’s been over a week since you’ve had a chance to explore the surrounding buildings, most of your free time has been eaten up by league planning. It’ll be nice to get out for a bit, even if your heart is nearly pounding out of your chest at the thought of whatever you’re walking into. You really hope this is a fun lets-get-out-of-the-house type evening and not a don’t-ever-touch-me-again conversation but it’s been a long day already and your quirk is down to a mere flicker.
Passing through the door and down a corridor you found last week, you see Shigaraki’s dusty blue hair glow in the moonlight. He’s standing near a wall in what used to be the main room of the old warehouse, surrounded by broken concrete and bent rebar from the collapsed roof. With only the full moon to illuminate the space, you tiptoe through the path the two of you previously forged until you’re standing right in front of him. The light hits his features softly. For the first time in a long time, he doesn’t look upset.
“I thought this would be a better celebration,” he says, fingernails digging into his neck. Stepping forward, you pull his hand away. Your grip on his wrist lingers. Even in the dim lighting, you can see his cheeks turning pink. His eyes meet yours before his gaze flicks down to your mouth and back up.
A dizzying amount of visions surround you, but you pay them no mind as your lips crash into his. To your surprise, he kisses you back with even more passion. Pressing his rough lips into yours like he’s never wanted anything more in his life. You drop his wrist, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and sliding your fingers into his hair. He sighs into your touch. His hands wrap around you, a few fingers carefully peeled back. Turning slightly, he presses you back into the wall, hands sliding to the concrete behind you as you feel the weight of him against your chest. Giving his hair a gentle tug, your tongue meets his as he gasps. He returns the movement, his soft tongue a fun contrast from his chapped lips.
With every breath, the smell of him fills your lungs. He smells faintly of the cheap soap you’ve all been sharing at the hideout and a subtle scent between autumn leaves and rain that’s reminiscent of his quirk. Everything about him surrounds you and nothing else matters.
Time stands still while the two of you spend the rest of the evening intertwined in the wreckage.
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a new end masterlist - bnha masterlist
Taglist: @tomuratoucher @aryuunachigiri @shigarakislaughter @foxyboy0
#tomura shigiraki x reader#tomura shigaraki#tomura x reader#tomura shigaraki fluff#shigaraki x reader#shigaraki x you#shigaraki tomura fluff#shigaraki tomura#mha shigaraki#bnha x reader#tomura shigaraki x reader#my hero academia x reader#my hero academia#fix it fic#x reader#reader insert#bnha#bnha x y/n#bnha x you#league of villains x reader#a new end
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Again, a really good point! Very insightful. Even right now, during a period where Logan is avoiding people and the X-books have almost zero connectivity, 616 Logan is in at least 5 (maybe more) ongoings plus various one shots, events etc (I'm not counting the Ultimate books bc they're doing something new.)
You're so right that it's difficult, but right now if Tom 'fingers in every pie' Brevoort wanted to he could oversee any kind of change he wanted to. It wouldn't even have to be big, imagine how much work it would do if X-Men #1 spent a page or two on Logan and Scott's conversation. Or if he explained himself better in Uncanny #1. The Crucible issue on Kraken had them talking for maybe a page and a half and it told us a lot about where both men were at plus their relationship at the time.
With someone as stagnant as Logan it doesn't take much to show growth or even just a peek under the hood. Crucially, he's not an Avenger right now. All his appearances are under the same office. Wolverine: Revenge and whatever Deadpool bullshit is happening aren't set in the present. I absolutely concede the point, but I think it's more than that. They don't want to change him. I don't think it's sustainable to just remix the hits but Marvel has been doing its 'illusion of change' thing for 60+ years, so what do I know? Haha.
Agreed that he's doomed to hypocrisy the same way Xavier is. I know you're being hyperbolic about the pacifism, but as I said up there a little goes a long way with a character this flat.
Hehe, yeah, just like Xavier IMO. Though he's like an inverse Logan where he doesn't change, keeps making idiotic choices, and everyone hates him (except Moonbeam.) Logan does that shit and remains popular.
Oh yeah me too. Perhaps I wasn't emphatic enough in expressing how badly I agree with you. A lot of women in general deserve to be angry. Jean doesn't get angry a lot. I liked her arguments with Scott on Krakoa, but I'm not sure if it works better that she wasn't angry. Logan absolutely deserves some of that anger, and she's about the only person he'll listen to now that Chuck is persona non grata. There's something to be said for Jean's emotional control as a marker of maturity, but I'd say women don't get to be angry like men do. Like at the third Hellfire Gala - the men got angry while Jean is perfectly calm even when dying and watching Nimrod run amok. Let my girl be angry.
Cyclops mourns Logan
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Pretty sure he's dated more psychics than that
They really called it Cyclops in YOU. Hell yeah. Anyway, Logan is dead. Scott, unaware that he's in a comic book, is treating this event as if it's forever. Lucky for us, because their messed up relationship is like crack for me. He considers how Logan was his most complicated relationship, and that's a lot coming from him.
There's definitely resentment there, because Logan was and is a selfish jerk. It's refreshing honesty, and very Scott Summers. He's remembering all the different ways in which Logan made his life harder, acted like a creep, or spited him needlessly, yet Logan's death is keeping Scott up at night.
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I love this flashback to after the Dark Phoenix Saga (I think) and it makes pretty clear that Logan transferred his idealisation from Jean to Scott. Scott is standing at his wife's grave and somehow Logan manages to make literally everything about him. At least he acknowledges his grief and says 'sorry for your loss.' Wait, no that doesn't happen actually. The bastard just tells him he's not allowed to quit because of his psychosexual obsession. I wonder what Scott is thinking as he walks off. An optic blast in the back would be somewhat justified (and funny) but Scott usually has better self control than that.
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He considers the aftermath of Fatal Attractions, when Magneto performed field surgery on his bones. Logan definitely wasn't used to not being immortal and the apex murderer. His recovery was long and his whining intense.
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Is Scott biting Magneto there?
Scott approaches Logan as he's punishing himself in the Danger Room and echoes his words back to him, offering him a hand up. He remembers the heartwarming threats and the good times shared together fighting for their lives. Brothers in grief and violence, rivals who are simultaneously paternal figures to each other.
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Scott is very prone to blaming himself for things going wrong, and Logan was always there to remind him. I don't think he's being fair on himself but he never really is. Blaming Scott for things is an X-Men sport. He repeats Logan's insane words for a third time - 'we don't get to quit.' Scott cries in the snow on all fours outside the base where Logan was repeatedly tortured and dehumanised, but he doesn't quit.
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Scott imagines what Logan's funeral would be like, and he's not far off. He thinks hard about an appropriate way to honour his memory. The answer is obvious - alcohol and violence. I have no doubt Scott knows exactly where every mutant hater watering hole is, but it's funnier to imagine him wandering around until he finds one.
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Proving he knows him pretty damn well, Scott sends Logan off by beating the shit out of some bigots and drinking over their unconscious bodies. 'Here's to you, bub. See you in a year or so.' Cyclops is pretty famous at this point, so these dudes probably know exactly who he is. They'll be telling that story for a while, of the time they were drinking and hating on mutants then Scott Summers came out of nowhere to fuck them up. Logan wouldn't be proud exactly, but he'd probably grunt and call him bub. That's practically 'I love you' from Logan, and Scott loves his dumb ass too.
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❝ I appeared in your dream last night ⤷ JxW (JEONGHAN & WONWOO) - 어젯밤 (Last night)
#seventeen#17net#svtsource#studiocarat#svtedits#hourlywonwoo#fywonwoo#svt edits#seventeen edits#seventeen gfx#svt gfx#wonwoo edits#wonwoo gfx#mine#wonwoo#jeon wonwoo#groups: seventeen#member: wonwoo#spent so much time on this one and I don't event like it#was this close to just delete everything but since it's done#figured i'd just post it anyway#tmi: there was initially a third panel in the middle but it was just not good enough#jeonghan's version is coming later
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The Shimmer Shields - Uniform design
#digital art#illustration#artists on tumblr#art#dungeons and dragons#dnd#ttrpg#homebrew#concept art#original characters#ocs#my ocs#Fen tag#Alowin tag#Setting: Heim#I was gonna do this rendered all pretty and stuff#but i've already spent too much time fiddling with this so flats will have to do#i really wanted to get the Shields uniform down on paper#as well as two of my silly little guys#Fen is wearing the standard officer uniform that people would commonly see on the streets of Novo-Mellior#Alowin is wearing the private hire uniform since he gets assigned to Tethry after a failed attempt on his life#The private hire uniform comes with a cape meant to cover the sword at their hip during formal events.#also anyone who ends up on private hire is ribbed pretty heavily by the rest of the soldiers since#that often means they get assigned either to some arrogant noble or an important caster (like an archmage)#and with the way that Shields and casters don't get along very well you'll get bullied for babysitting one.#The Shields value their uniforms and gear very highly since to a lot of them it's the only thing of significance that they own.#Their bracers and shields (not pictured cause idk what i want to do for them yet) are tiled with flail snail shell#which allows them to both block and reflect any spells cast at them back on the caster#it's also where the name of their order comes from cause shiny#I had big plans for this piece but at the end of the day it's just a design sheet
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screaming
#i have been on a JOURNEY the past few years of accepting my chinese heritage#and im not there yet and im still gonna make plenty of mistakes and have a lot of doubts#but honestly. those movies and shows i listed.#have shown me a part of myself i didn't know was there#their noses are like mine. their family structure is like mine. their accents are like my family's. their food is like mine. their homes ar#like mine.#and they're badass and funny and flawed and interesting and magical#i spent so long thinking that my brown hair and brown eyes and skin that looks like a healthy white girl tan when i haven't seen the sun in#months and rounded nose and facial structure i'd never seen on anyone else were what made me unspecial. what made me unworthy of being#important and magical and cool and pretty.#but now i look in the mirror and see that all these attributes of mine are part of me#i can feel a silent connection to my dad when he watches those movies multiple times#i wore a qipao to one of the most milestone-y events of my life#there's so much i don't know and don't understand#but i want to know. and i don't have to shame myself for wanting that.#rememberthis
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(Piggybacking on the below post)
Me: *thinks about all the money she wasted on gatcha for ugly @$$ coords just to score high on the arcade game because she was competitive*
......
*decisive nod*
Good times, good times. 👍
#really tho you guys would hate it haha#it was like having the event coord bonus but all the time#but at least i think they should fix ppr/prs#they shouldn't score the same they are different rarities....#....but then people would hate that because they can't use their favorite prs to grid anymore uughgh#well one thing i do kinda regret is all the money i spent trying to get just the accessory or just the shoes of a coord#so i could get the full coord bonus#i guess i don't miss the full coord bonus that much#except that it makes ppr shoes and accessories literally pointless now#hrrrmmm
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living with the consequences of my own (self-inflicted) stunted social development
#i don't know how much is my fault and how much is external factors of feeling awkward/shy but i do take a lot of responsibility#especially for isolating myself and not reaching out to friends...it really is an unfortunate cycle of me being too shy#and too scared to even reach out to others and then i had no social practice so i was even more scared#now im a senior in college and have no friends and have to start from scratch with all the new people i meet#kind of mourning that time i spent locked up in my room and not trying to socialize...it really set me back and now i have nothing#i had like one friend who would reach out and we'd get meals together but i was never good at maintaining that#so if they dont want to continue that's fair of them#but i guess its just embarrassing to have nothing to show for these years and maybe I can make some close friendships this last year#and who knows if those will last postgrad or if i'll just have to start over in a new situation/new job#i'm just mad at myself bc I've been doing a lot of socializing for school events this past few days and it's been pretty good#a few times ive been withdrawn but overall im proud of myself but it just makes me wonder what it'd be like if I'd gotten over this earlier
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Royally Bound
Pairing: Prince!Seonghwa x reader
Genre: Arranged marriage au, fluff (omg so much of it)
Word count: 10k
Warnings: none :)
AN: Get ready to be bombarded with the most gentleman of gentleman Seonghwa. Omg he is so sweet to mc. I wrote this solely because I had a thought of ONE scene from this and I wrote an entire fic based on it. And don't forget to like and reblog pls it motivates me to write more!!!
In the heart of the flourishing kingdom of Eryndor stood a grand castle, its towering spires reaching toward the heavens as if to touch the very stars. Within its walls resided the royal family: King Park, a wise and benevolent ruler; Queen Park, a graceful and compassionate woman; and their only son, Crown Prince Park Seonghwa.
Prince Seonghwa was the embodiment of strength and discipline. His cold, straightforward demeanor had earned him a reputation as a strict and unyielding leader. While some whispered of his severity, the majority of Eryndor’s people revered him. For though his words were sharp and his judgments firm, his actions always spoke of his deep love for the kingdom.
Each morning, as the first rays of sunlight pierced through the castle windows, Seonghwa would rise, his mind already set on the day’s duties. From overseeing military drills to attending council meetings, his meticulous nature allowed no room for error. He walked the castle halls with a commanding presence, his dark eyes scanning every corner, every detail, ensuring that everything was in its rightful place.
Despite his stern exterior, Seonghwa’s heart was one of quiet devotion. He spent hours in the castle library studying the histories of past kings and queens, seeking wisdom to guide his future rule. He visited the kingdom's towns and villages, speaking to the people not with flowery words but with a genuine desire to understand their struggles.
Even in the grand halls of the castle, where the kingdom’s most influential figures gathered for meetings and important events, Crown Prince Seonghwa was a figure of quiet authority. Draped in royal attire that reflected his status, he sat at the long, ornate table, his posture impeccable, his expression unreadable.
Unlike many who sought to fill the air with their voices, Seonghwa remained silent, his sharp eyes observing every gesture, every word exchanged. He spoke only when addressed directly, and even then, his responses were concise and precise, like arrows hitting their mark.
At times, his silence unnerved those around him. Ministers and advisors would glance at him nervously, uncertain of what he might be thinking. Yet, when he did speak, his words carried such weight and clarity that they often silenced the entire room.
During a particularly heated council meeting, where arguments about the kingdom’s trade policies had reached a crescendo, Seonghwa had remained still, his gaze shifting between the quarreling parties. Finally, when the king himself turned to him for his opinion, Seonghwa’s voice cut through the chaos like a blade.
“Trade benefits the kingdom only when it is fair and sustainable,” he stated coldly. “If you cannot negotiate terms that protect Eryndor’s interests while maintaining alliances, then perhaps someone more capable should handle the matter.”
The room fell silent, the weight of his words pressing down on everyone present. Though his tone was devoid of anger, his bluntness left no room for misinterpretation. The advisors exchanged uneasy glances, while the king nodded, a faint smile of approval gracing his lips.
At royal banquets and celebrations, Seonghwa’s presence was equally commanding, even though he rarely indulged in pleasantries. While others mingled and exchanged smiles, he stood by the sidelines, his watchful eyes scanning the room for anything amiss. When addressed, he responded with the same measured calm, his words carrying a sense of purpose that few could match.
The people of Eryndor often whispered about his reserved nature, some calling it aloofness, others seeing it as strength. But whether feared or admired, there was no denying that Crown Prince Park Seonghwa was a man of unwavering discipline and control, a leader who valued action over words and results over empty promises.
The grand dining hall of the castle was bathed in the soft glow of candlelight, its high ceilings adorned with intricate carvings of Eryndor’s storied history. The royal family dined in silence, the clinking of silverware the only sound until Queen Park, with her ever-graceful demeanor, broke the silence.
“Seonghwa,” she began, her voice gentle but firm, “your father and I have been discussing a matter of great importance.”
The Crown Prince, seated at the head of the table, set his goblet down with practiced precision. His dark eyes lifted to meet hers, his expression as composed as ever. “Pray, speak your mind, Mother.”
The queen exchanged a brief glance with the king before continuing. “It is time, my son, for you to consider a union. The kingdom requires a future queen, someone to stand by your side and share the burdens of rule.”
Seonghwa leaned back in his chair, his posture unyielding as his gaze shifted between his parents. “Is that so?” His tone was measured, devoid of enthusiasm. “I was under the impression that my duties as Crown Prince were quite sufficient without the added endeavor of courtship.”
King Park sighed, his deep voice resonating through the room. “It is not merely about duty, Seonghwa. A union strengthens alliances, fortifies the kingdom’s position, and, dare I say, may bring you some measure of solace in the years to come.”
“Solace,” Seonghwa repeated, a faint trace of irony in his voice. “How poetic. Yet I see no such necessity. The kingdom flourishes, the council obeys, and the people prosper. What more is required?”
Queen Park’s serene expression faltered ever so slightly. “A ruler cannot stand alone forever. You may not see the need now, but in time, you will.”
For days thereafter, the subject lingered like an unwelcome guest, the queen and king broaching the topic at every opportunity. Seonghwa, however, remained steadfast in his reluctance, deflecting their attempts with a mastery born of his disciplined nature.
But even the most resolute walls crumble under relentless tides. On the morning of the seventh day, Seonghwa finally relented, though his disinterest was plain for all to see.
“Very well,” he said, his voice as cold as the winter wind. “If it shall grant me relief from your incessant nagging, I shall meet this woman you have selected. But let it be known, I do this not out of desire, but out of obligation.”
Queen Park’s face lit up with a hopeful smile, though she knew better than to voice her triumph aloud. “You shall not regret it, my son. We have known the Hwang household for a while now.”
Seonghwa rose from his chair, his movements deliberate and measured. “We shall see, Mother,” he replied, his tone carrying the faintest edge of skepticism. “Though I pray you do not expect me to feign interest where there is none.”
With that, he left the room, his long cloak trailing behind him, the echo of his boots fading into the distance. The queen sighed, her heart a mixture of relief and concern. For while her son had agreed, his heart remained as untouchable as ever.
The Hwang household was one of great renown in the kingdom, its name carrying a legacy of loyalty and service to the royal family. Your grandfather, Hwang Taejin, had been the closest confidant of King Park when he ascended the throne, forging a bond that still tied the two families together.
As the youngest daughter, you were the quiet shadow amidst your lively siblings. Your eldest sister, Hwang Seoyoon, was the pride of the family—a graceful woman of charm and poise, admired by many. Your brothers, Hwang Jinhyuk, Hwang Minseok, and Hwang Daehyun, were no less impressive: boisterous, ambitious, and ever eager to showcase the family’s brilliance to the world.
And then there was you.
While Seoyoon spent hours selecting gowns and jewels, and your brothers busied themselves with their social engagements, you preferred the solace of your room or the quiet corners of the garden. Your straightforward nature often set you apart; you had no patience for flowery words or pointless chatter. When spoken to, you answered with blunt honesty, a trait that earned you both admiration and exasperation in equal measure.
“Honestly, you’re hopeless,” Seoyoon often sighed, fussing over her reflection in a gilded mirror. “How can you expect to make a good match if you refuse to step outside?”
“Who says I expect to make a match at all?” you would reply, your tone calm but unyielding.
Jinhyuk, the eldest of your brothers, was no less persistent. “You’re the youngest. People expect you to be lively and charming, not... whatever this is.” He gestured vaguely in your direction.
“Then people are fools for expecting anything at all,” you would counter, much to his chagrin.
Minseok and Daehyun, the middle brothers, often tried to coax you out of the house with promises of excitement. “Come, little sister,” Minseok would say, his grin infectious. “There’s a festival in the town square. You’ll love it!”
“No,” you replied curtly, not even glancing up from your book.
“Just once,” Daehyun chimed in, leaning against the doorframe. “You’re wasting your youth locked away in here.”
“Better to waste it in peace than to squander it in nonsense,” you retorted.
Your parents, while loving, were equally puzzled by your reluctance to engage in the vibrant social life your family cherished. “You are a Hwang,” your mother reminded you one evening. “With that name comes responsibility. You cannot hide away forever.”
But you didn’t see it as hiding. To you, the world beyond your home was a noisy, chaotic place, and you found no joy in it. The garden, the library, the quiet evenings by the fire—these were your treasures, and you saw no reason to trade them for the fleeting pleasures your siblings pursued.
Unbeknownst to you, however, your life was about to be entangled with the royal family in a way you could never have anticipated.
The late afternoon sun cast a warm glow through the windows of your room as you sat in your favorite corner, a thick book resting in your lap. The quiet rustle of pages was soothing, a rare moment of peace in a household that was anything but.
Your eldest sister, Seoyoon, had made herself comfortable on the chaise near the window. She was in the midst of a long-winded tale about the latest fashions in court, her voice animated and full of excitement. You, however, barely glanced up, too engrossed in the intricate story unfolding in your book.
“And then Lady Eunhwa had the audacity to wear the same gown twice in one week!” Seoyoon exclaimed, placing a dramatic hand on her chest. When you failed to respond, she huffed, her voice turning teasing. “Are you even listening? Or is that book more interesting than my tales?”
“Far more interesting,” you replied bluntly, not looking up.
She clicked her tongue in exasperation but continued regardless. “Oh, by the way, two of the king’s guards came by today.”
At that, your eyes flickered up from the page, though only briefly. It wasn’t unusual for members of the royal household to visit. After all, the king favored your father greatly, treating him almost like a younger brother. The king, slightly younger than your late grandfather, had become close to your family over the years, especially as your father had grown into a trusted confidant.
“It’s hardly news, unnie,” you said, turning a page. “The king’s guards have been here countless times before.”
“Yes, but they don’t usually come with such a formal air,” she replied, a mischievous glint in her eye. “I overheard Father speaking with them. It seems they were delivering a message about... well, something rather important.”
You raised an eyebrow, finally giving her your full attention. “Important how?”
“Oh, I wouldn’t want to spoil the mystery,” she said coyly, though you could tell she was itching to share. “But I will say this—it has something to do with Prince Seonghwa.”
At the mention of the Crown Prince, you frowned. “Why would anything involving him concern us?”
Seoyoon leaned closer, lowering her voice as if she were sharing a secret. “The relationships are a bit tangled, don’t you think? The king was close to Grandfather, but he had Prince Seonghwa later in life. Meanwhile, Father had us all when he was still quite young. It makes the royal family feel less like distant rulers and more like... well, extended relatives.”
“Relatives who happen to rule the kingdom,” you muttered, shutting your book with a quiet thud. “What exactly are you trying to say, unnie?”
She smiled, a knowing look in her eyes. “I’m saying, little sister, that perhaps this visit wasn’t as routine as it seemed. Perhaps you should start paying more attention to the world outside your books. You never know what might be coming your way.”
You stared at her for a moment, trying to decipher her meaning. But when she simply rose from her seat with a graceful shrug and left the room, you couldn’t help but feel a nagging sense of unease. Whatever the king’s guards had come for, you had a sinking feeling it would disrupt the quiet life you so fiercely cherished.
When Crown Prince Seonghwa learned of the arrangements his parents had made, he stood in the vast study of the royal palace, his arms crossed behind his back as he gazed out of the towering windows. The distant sound of the bustling kingdom below barely registered in his mind.
“So, it is the youngest daughter of the Hwang household,” he said aloud, his tone carefully neutral, though there was a faint trace of hesitation in his voice.
Queen Park, seated gracefully by the hearth, nodded with a small smile. “Indeed. Youngest of Hwang. A quiet young lady, from what I have gathered. She is much unlike her siblings, preferring solitude to society. A curious match, I admit, but one worth considering.”
Seonghwa turned to face his mother, his expression calm but his thoughts clearly at war. “The connections between our families are... unusual, to put it plainly,” he said, his voice thoughtful. “Her grandfather, as you know, he and Father shared a bond that went beyond mere loyalty. But then there’s her father—he’s younger than father, yet he married and had children before he did. My father married late and had me even later. That’s a strange difference in timing and position, don’t you think?”
He sighed, pacing slowly as he spoke, his thoughts almost unraveling as he considered the oddities of the situation. “The generations between us are not just tangled—they’re almost mismatched. It’s a contrast of decisions, timing, and expectations that’s hard to ignore.”
He glanced at his mother, the faintest trace of doubt in his eyes. “I understand the deep affection for the Hwang family, especially given the history with my father and her grandfather. But I wonder if that admiration has made him overlook how strange these connections really are. It’s a lot to consider in something as important as marriage.”
The queen chuckled softly, though her gaze was steady. “You speak as though this is of great consequence. The ties between our families have always been strong. Surely you understand why your father holds them in such high regard.”
Seonghwa exhaled, his brow furrowing slightly. He did understand. The Hwang family had been pillars of loyalty and wisdom for decades, their contributions to the crown invaluable. The late Hwang Taejin had been more than a counselor to King Park—he had been a brother in spirit, if not in blood. And even now, the king's fondness for the Hwang household was evident in every interaction.
Still, the prince could not shake his reservations. “I do not question their loyalty or merit,” he replied, his voice calm but firm. “But I see little reason to entangle myself in such matters simply because of sentiment.”
“You agreed to meet her, Seonghwa,” the queen reminded him gently. “It would do you well to approach this with an open mind. Who knows? Perhaps you will find her company agreeable.”
Seonghwa gave a faint, almost imperceptible scoff. “Agreeable,” he echoed. “I have little need for agreeable company, Mother. What I require is a partner of intellect, strength, and understanding. If she possesses these qualities, then perhaps this meeting will not be entirely futile.”
“Fate has a way of surprising us,” the queen said softly, rising to her feet. She placed a hand on her son’s arm, her expression a mixture of hope and fondness. “Give her a chance, Seonghwa. That is all we ask of you.”
The prince nodded curtly, though his mind remained conflicted. He was no stranger to duty, but this arrangement felt... complicated. And yet, as much as he might resist, he could not entirely ignore the deep respect his father held for the Hwang family. If nothing else, he owed it to the king to see this through.
As he returned to his chambers later that evening, Seonghwa allowed himself a rare moment of reflection. Her name lingered in his thoughts, an enigma wrapped in his family’s history. He resolved to meet her with the same quiet strength and scrutiny he approached all things—but he would not let sentiment cloud his judgment.
For a man as steadfast as Seonghwa, the prospect of meeting someone new, especially under such circumstances, was a challenge. But little did he know, the meeting would test him in ways he had never anticipated.
The soft afternoon light filtered through the window beside you, casting warm patterns on the wooden floor. You were curled up in a small nook by the window, a quiet corner of the house that you had claimed as your own. The garden beyond the glass was lush and vibrant, its blooms swaying gently in the breeze. It was a peaceful sight, one you often sought solace in.
The sound of hurried footsteps broke the silence, and you sighed quietly, already bracing yourself for the disruption. Moments later, Seoyoon and Minseok burst into the room, their faces alight with a mixture of excitement and intrigue.
“Y/N,” Seoyoon began, her voice sing-song as she made her way toward you. “Have you heard what Father’s been planning?”
You didn’t look up from your book, your tone flat as you replied, “I’m sure you’ll tell me regardless of whether I have or not.”
Minseok laughed, plopping down onto a nearby chair. “She’s as blunt as ever,” he said, shaking his head. “But you’ll want to hear this, little sister. It’s about the royal family.”
That caught your attention, though you didn’t let it show. Keeping your eyes on the page, you said evenly, “What about them?”
Seoyoon perched herself on the edge of the table, her eyes sparkling with mischief. “Apparently, Father has been talking with the king. And do you know what they’ve decided?”
You glanced up at her, your expression unreadable. “I’m sure you’re going to enlighten me.”
“They’re planning for you to meet the Crown Prince,” she said, her voice dripping with glee.
You blinked, the words hanging in the air for a moment before you set your book down. “Why?”
Minseok leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “It’s obvious, isn’t it? The king and Father have always been close. And with the prince needing a bride, it seems Father thinks you might be a good match.”
Your gaze shifted between your siblings, your mind working to process this sudden revelation. “And no one thought to ask me what I think about this?”
Seoyoon laughed, a melodic sound that made your irritation spike. “Oh, Y/N, you always act as though you have a choice in these matters. This is about duty, about family. You should feel honored.”
“Honored,” you echoed, your tone dry. “To be paraded in front of a man I’ve never met, all for the sake of politics? Forgive me if I fail to see the appeal.”
Minseok held up his hands in mock surrender. “We’re just the messengers, little sister. If you have complaints, take them to Father. But I doubt it’ll change anything.”
You turned your gaze back to the garden, your thoughts swirling. The idea of meeting the Crown Prince—a man whose reputation for coldness preceded him—was far from appealing. But you knew your father well enough to know that his mind was likely already made up.
“Lovely,” you muttered under your breath, picking up your book once more. “This is exactly how I wanted to spend my time.”
Seoyoon grinned, patting your shoulder as she stood. “Cheer up, Y/N. Who knows? Maybe you’ll surprise yourself.”
As Seoyoon leaned in closer, her grin widening, you sighed and finally closed your book, resting it on your lap. You turned to her, your tone as dry as ever. “Aren’t you married, Seoyoon? Why are you here, meddling in things that don’t concern you? Shouldn’t you be at your own home, managing your household?”
Seoyoon gasped, placing a hand over her chest as though you’d struck her. “How cruel, Y/N! Is this how you speak to your poor elder sister who only wants the best for you?”
“You’re hardly poor, and your meddling is far from helpful,” you retorted, arching an eyebrow. “Go home, Seoyoon. Surely your husband must be wondering where you’ve disappeared to.”
Seoyoon pouted theatrically, but the sparkle in her eyes betrayed her amusement. “For your information,” she said, drawing herself up with mock dignity, “my work at home is complete. Everything is running perfectly, and my husband is away on business for a while. So, I’ve decided to grace this house with my presence for a couple of weeks.”
You groaned quietly, pinching the bridge of your nose. “Wonderful,” you muttered under your breath. “Just what we all needed.”
Minseok laughed from his seat, clearly enjoying the back-and-forth. “You should be glad, Y/N. Seoyoon’s here to keep you company. Isn’t that nice?”
“Thrilling,” you deadpanned, leaning back against the nook. “Exactly what I wanted—unsolicited company and unsolicited plans for my life.”
Seoyoon reached out and ruffled your hair in a way that only an older sibling could get away with. “Oh, come now, Y/N. You’ll thank me someday for my wisdom and guidance. Just wait and see.”
You swatted her hand away, glaring at her half-heartedly. “I highly doubt that.”
As she and Minseok shared another laugh, you sighed and picked up your book again, silently bracing yourself for the chaos her extended stay would undoubtedly bring.
The warm glow of the evening lanterns filled the dining hall as your family gathered for the evening meal. The atmosphere was lively, with Seoyoon chatting away about her plans for the week, Minseok teasing her, and your other brothers laughing at their antics. You sat quietly at your usual spot, focused on your plate, letting the noise of the room wash over you.
As the meal was nearing its end, your father cleared his throat, a sure sign that he had something important to say. The room quieted almost instantly, everyone turning their attention to him.
“I have news to share,” he began, his tone steady but carrying a weight that made your stomach sink slightly. “The king and queen, along with the Crown Prince, will be visiting our household in three days’ time.”
The words hung in the air for a moment before they fully registered. Your siblings exchanged surprised glances, and Seoyoon’s face lit up with excitement. You, however, frowned, your grip tightening on your utensils.
“To what purpose?” you asked, your voice calm but edged with suspicion.
Your father met your gaze, his expression firm yet warm. “They are coming to formally meet you, Y/N, and to discuss the arrangements for your marriage to the Crown Prince.”
The room erupted in chatter—your brothers asking further questions, Seoyoon clapping her hands in delight—but you felt as though the ground had shifted beneath you.
“Marriage?” you repeated, your tone sharper now. “And when, exactly, were you planning to inform me of this?”
Your mother, who had been quiet until now, placed a gentle hand on your father’s arm and smiled at you. “Y/N, we knew you’d react this way, and we didn’t want to burden you with unnecessary worries before everything was set.”
“Unnecessary worries?” you echoed incredulously, setting down your utensils with a clatter. “You’re discussing my marriage—my future—and you didn’t think I should have a say in the matter? Or even be informed before decisions were made?”
Your father waved a hand dismissively, his tone remaining calm but final. “This is not something for you to worry about, Y/N. The king himself has chosen you, and this is a great honor for our family. Everything has been decided with the best intentions for you and for us all.”
“But—” you tried to protest, only for Seoyoon to cut in, her voice bright and eager.
“Oh, Y/N, stop being so dramatic! It’s the Crown Prince we’re talking about! What more could you possibly want?”
You shot her a glare but bit back your retort, knowing it would be futile. Looking back at your father, you tried one last time. “I only wish I had been told sooner. Surely I deserve that much.”
“Y/N,” your father said firmly, his tone leaving no room for argument. “You are my daughter, and as part of this family, you must trust that we have made the right choice for you. The matter is settled.”
You sank back in your chair, the weight of their words pressing down on you. Around you, the conversation quickly shifted to the preparations for the royal visit, your family buzzing with excitement. But you couldn’t shake the frustration and unease bubbling within you.
You sat quietly, your appetite gone, staring down at your untouched plate as their voices grew distant in your mind. The life you cherished—the quiet, predictable solitude—was slipping away, and no one seemed to care.
The day the royals arrived, the Hwang household was bustling with activity. The servants had been working tirelessly to prepare the house, and your family was dressed in their finest attire. You stood near the back of the receiving room, watching as your parents greeted the king, queen, and the Crown Prince with warm smiles and formal bows.
When they entered, Prince Seonghwa's presence was immediately commanding. Dressed in a perfectly tailored royal suit, his sharp features and cold demeanor matched everything you had heard about him. He was polite but distant, exchanging pleasantries with your father and siblings, his tone measured and precise.
You, however, remained quiet, answering only when directly addressed, and even then, your responses were curt and to the point. The rest of your family, particularly Seoyoon, made up for your lack of enthusiasm with their excitement and chatter.
After a lengthy discussion between your father and the king about the arrangements, your mother approached you with a pointed look and said softly, “Y/N, why don’t you and the prince have a private conversation? Get to know each other.”
You wanted to protest, but before you could, Seoyoon nudged you forward with a teasing smile. Reluctantly, you followed the prince to the garden, where the air was cooler, and the faint scent of blooming flowers lingered.
Seonghwa walked a step ahead of you, his hands clasped behind his back. When you reached the center of the garden, he turned to face you, his dark eyes scanning your face for a moment before he spoke.
“I trust you find this arrangement agreeable?” he asked, his tone formal and detached.
You gave a polite nod. “If it pleases my family, then it pleases me.”
He raised an eyebrow, his expression unreadable. “That is... an expected answer. You speak of duty rather than choice.”
“It seems choice was never part of the discussion,” you replied evenly, your gaze meeting his without flinching.
For a moment, there was silence between you, the distant hum of conversation from the house filling the space. Seonghwa tilted his head slightly, studying you. “You don’t talk much, do you?”
You hesitated for a moment before answering. “I speak when there’s something worth saying.”
A faint flicker of amusement crossed his face, so brief you almost missed it. “An admirable philosophy,” he said. “Though it makes conversations rather... challenging.”
“That depends on who I’m speaking to,” you replied, your tone calm but not unkind.
He seemed to consider your words, his expression softening just slightly. “Fair enough,” he said, his voice quieter now. “I suppose I am not accustomed to people who value silence over unnecessary chatter.”
You didn’t respond immediately, instead letting the silence stretch between you. The weight of his gaze was palpable, but you refused to shrink under it. Finally, you said, “I’m sure the prince has little need for idle conversation, either.”
This time, his lips twitched into the faintest semblance of a smile. “Perhaps not,” he admitted. “But I find myself curious about you, Miss Hwang. You are... different.”
You inclined your head slightly. “Different isn’t always favorable, Your Highness.”
“Not always,” he agreed, his voice thoughtful. “But sometimes it is necessary.”
The two of you stood there for a moment longer, the quiet garden suddenly feeling more intimate than before. You couldn’t quite read the prince, his every word and movement calculated, but there was a strange sense of understanding in his tone.
Before either of you could say more, a servant appeared in the garden, bowing deeply. “Your Highness, the king has requested your presence.”
Seonghwa nodded once, then turned back to you. “Until next time, Miss Hwang.”
You offered a polite nod in return. “Your Highness.”
As he walked away, you exhaled softly, unsure of what to make of the exchange. Something about the prince unsettled you—not in an unpleasant way, but in a way that left you wondering.
It had been a week since the royals left, and life at the Hwang household had returned to its usual rhythm—at least on the surface. Beneath the calm, preparations for your upcoming marriage were already in full swing, much to your quiet displeasure. You found solace in your little routines, but even that was short-lived.
One crisp morning, as you sat in your usual nook by the window with a book in hand, a servant hurried in with a message. “Miss, the Crown Prince has arrived. He wishes to take you on an outing.”
You froze, the words sinking in. Closing the book slowly, you looked up. “Did he say why?”
The servant hesitated. “No, miss. But your father has already given his approval.”
Of course, you thought grimly. Rising reluctantly, you made your way to the front of the house, where the prince stood waiting. He was dressed impeccably, as always, and his expression was as composed as you remembered.
“Miss Hwang,” he greeted with a slight bow.
“Your Highness,” you replied, offering a polite nod.
“I trust you are ready?” he asked, though his tone made it clear that readiness was not optional.
With no room to argue, you stepped forward, and the two of you were soon seated in a carriage heading toward the nearby town. The ride was silent, save for the occasional creak of the wheels. You glanced out of the window, unsure of what to say—or if you should say anything at all.
Finally, Seonghwa broke the silence. “I take it this arrangement was not your idea either.”
You turned to him, surprised by his bluntness. “No, it wasn’t. But I assume it wasn’t yours, either.”
A faint smirk tugged at the corner of his lips. “You assume correctly. It seems our families are quite determined to ensure we... bond.”
“Bonding is difficult when both parties are here against their will,” you said, your tone matter-of-fact.
His smirk grew just slightly. “Indeed. Though I must admit, it is refreshing to meet someone who doesn’t mask their opinions with pleasantries.”
You tilted your head slightly, studying him. “I could say the same, Your Highness. Most people would not dare admit to disliking an arrangement like this.”
“Most people are not in my position,” he replied simply.
The carriage came to a stop, and the footman opened the door. Seonghwa stepped out first, offering you his hand. Reluctantly, you took it, allowing him to help you down. The two of you stood at the entrance to the bustling town square, the lively atmosphere a stark contrast to the tense silence between you.
“This town is known for its markets,” Seonghwa said, gesturing to the colorful stalls ahead. “I thought it might be... suitable for an outing.”
You glanced at him, raising an eyebrow. “Was that your idea, or your family’s?”
He paused, his gaze steady. “Does it matter?”
You didn’t answer, instead turning your attention to the market. The two of you walked side by side, the chatter and laughter of the townsfolk filling the air. Occasionally, Seonghwa would point out a stall or comment on a vendor’s goods, but your responses were short and polite.
At one point, he stopped in front of a flower vendor, his eyes scanning the vibrant array of blooms. “Do you have a favorite flower, Miss Hwang?”
You blinked, caught off guard by the question. “Not particularly.”
He picked up a small bouquet of white lilies, studying them for a moment before handing them to the vendor. “Then allow me to choose,” he said, his tone calm but firm.
You accepted the bouquet hesitantly, unsure of what to say. The gesture felt oddly personal, and you couldn’t decide whether to be flattered or annoyed.
As the outing continued, the initial stiffness between you began to ease—just slightly. By the time the sun began to set, the carriage ride back was not as silent as before. Though your exchanges were still brief, there was a newfound understanding between you, however faint it might have been.
When you arrived back at the Hwang household, Seonghwa escorted you to the door, his expression as composed as ever. “Thank you for indulging this outing, Miss Hwang. I hope it was not entirely unpleasant.”
You glanced at him, clutching the bouquet of lilies. “It was... tolerable,” you said, a hint of dry humor in your tone.
He inclined his head slightly, the faintest trace of amusement in his eyes. “I shall take that as a success. Until next time.”
With that, he turned and left, leaving you standing at the door with the flowers in hand. As you watched the carriage disappear down the path, you couldn’t help but wonder what the next “arranged” meeting would bring.
You retreated to your room, eager for solitude. You placed the bouquet of white lilies on a small table near the window, their subtle fragrance filling the air as you sat on the edge of your bed.
Moments later, your door creaked open without so much as a knock. Seoyoon stepped in, her eyes immediately landing on the bouquet. A mischievous grin spread across her face.
“Well, well,” she began, closing the door behind her. “It seems the Crown Prince is quite the gentleman, isn’t he?”
You didn’t look up, reaching for the book on your bedside table. “If you’re here to tease me, save your breath. I’m not in the mood.”
“Oh, come now,” she said, flopping onto the chair near the window and picking up one of the lilies. “A prince gives you flowers, and you sit here sulking as if it were some great tragedy. Most girls would be over the moon!”
“You’re welcome to them if you’re so envious,” you replied dryly, flipping a page.
Seoyoon gasped theatrically, holding the lily to her chest. “How heartless! And here I thought you might finally soften up a little. Tell me, how did it go? Did he say anything romantic? Or was it all as cold and stiff as you?”
You shot her a glare over the top of your book. “It was... fine. He talked. I listened. That’s all there is to it.”
“‘Fine,’” she echoed, rolling her eyes. “You’re impossible, you know that? Most people would kill for a chance to speak with him, let alone be courted by him.”
“I’m not ‘most people,’” you replied, your voice flat.
She leaned forward, resting her chin on her hand. “You didn’t thank him for the flowers, did you?”
Your silence was enough.
Seoyoon groaned, shaking her head in disbelief. “You’re hopeless, truly. The least you could do is try to show some interest. He’s the Crown Prince, for goodness’ sake!”
Closing your book with a snap, you fixed her with a level stare. “I didn’t ask for any of this, Seoyoon. I didn’t ask for the flowers, the outing, or the marriage. If he wants to court someone, he can find someone who actually cares.”
Seoyoon sighed, her teasing demeanor softening slightly. “I know you didn’t ask for this, Y/N. But it’s happening, whether you like it or not. You could at least give him a chance. Who knows? He might surprise you.”
You, staring at the lilies with a faint frown, replied bluntly, “He looks like he doesn’t enjoy company himself. This whole arrangement is just as forced on him as it is on me.” You paused, your voice lowering. “I’ve been a burden to all of you long enough. Now, I’ll just be a burden to the royal family instead.”
Her brows knit together, and she crossed her arms, stepping closer to you. “Y/N, don’t say that. You’re not a burden.”
You let out a humorless laugh, finally looking up at her. “Am I not? Everyone in this house pushes me to be someone I’m not. To go out, to socialize, to act the part. And now, I’m being married off to a prince who probably thinks I’m as much of a nuisance as I think this whole situation is.”
Seoyoon crouched slightly so she could look directly into your eyes, her expression unusually serious. “You’re not a nuisance, and you’re not a burden. You’re just... different. And that’s not a bad thing.”
You sighed, shaking your head. “It doesn’t matter what I think, does it? I’m not doing this for me. I’m doing it for Father, for the family, for appearances. Isn’t that all I’ve ever done?”
Seoyoon’s lips parted as if she wanted to argue, but no words came out. She knew you were right, at least in part. Finally, she placed a hand on your shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze.
“I won’t pretend to understand how you feel, but I do know this—whatever the reason for this marriage, it’s not because you’re a burden. You’re marrying a prince, Y/N. That means, whether you like it or not, someone sees your worth.”
You scoffed, but your gaze softened slightly. “Or they just see what’s convenient.”
Seoyoon straightened up and shook her head with a faint smile. “You’ll see, Y/N. Maybe he doesn’t look like the warmest person, but I doubt he’s as indifferent as you think. People like him don’t show their cards right away.”
“Or ever,” you muttered under your breath.
“Give him a chance,” she urged one last time, heading for the door. “And give yourself one too.”
As the door clicked shut behind her, you turned back to the lilies, their delicate beauty contrasting sharply with the heaviness in your chest. A burden or not, the path before you had been set. All that remained now was to walk it, whether you liked it or not.
The royal wedding was a grand affair, filled with splendor and elegance that you could hardly process. The intricate decorations, the endless sea of nobles in fine clothing, and the constant hum of polite conversation all blurred together in your mind. Through it all, you remained stoic, performing each ritual with quiet precision.
Seonghwa, as expected, was composed and regal throughout, his every action calculated and perfect. Yet there was something in his demeanor—something almost... softer than you’d expected.
When the final ritual was completed, and the two of you were officially declared husband and wife, the grand hall erupted into applause. You stood there, holding his hand lightly as tradition demanded, your expression unreadable.
It wasn’t until the two of you were seated at the head of the banquet table that Seonghwa’s façade shifted ever so slightly. Leaning closer, he asked in a low voice, “Are you comfortable, Miss Hwang?”
You blinked, momentarily caught off guard. “It’s Lady Park now,” you replied, your tone calm.
A faint smile tugged at his lips. “Ah, yes. My apologies. Are you comfortable... Lady Park?”
You hesitated, then nodded. “I am fine, Your Highness.”
He glanced at the feast before you, his voice quiet but insistent. “And the food? Is it to your liking?”
“It’s... more than sufficient,” you replied, unsure how else to respond.
For a moment, silence hung between you as you both turned your attention to the crowd of nobles mingling below. Then, out of nowhere, Seonghwa leaned in closer, his shoulder brushing lightly against yours. “See that man in the green coat near the pillar?” he whispered, his tone conspiratorial.
Your eyes followed his gaze to a portly man with a large mustache. “Yes?”
“That’s Lord Baek. He prides himself on his wine collection, yet he can’t tell the difference between a rare vintage and a common bottle of grape juice. It’s quite the running joke among the court.”
You glanced at him, unsure whether to laugh or remain indifferent. “And you’re telling me this because...?”
“Because,” he said, a hint of amusement in his voice, “you’ll hear him mention his wine at least three times tonight. Consider it a test of your patience.”
Despite yourself, a small smile ghosted across your lips. “Noted.”
He nodded, his expression still unreadable but his tone oddly warm. “And over there, by the orchestra—that’s Lady Seo. She once petitioned the court to create a holiday celebrating her dog’s birthday.”
This time, you couldn’t suppress a quiet chuckle. “You’re joking.”
“I assure you, I am not,” he said, his lips quirking into the faintest smile. “The petition was, of course, denied.”
As the evening progressed, Seonghwa continued his whispered commentary, pointing out various nobles and sharing tidbits about them. His tone remained calm and steady, but there was a subtle playfulness in his words that made it feel almost like a private game between the two of you.
For the first time, the weight of the occasion felt a little less suffocating. While you remained stoic, you couldn’t deny that his unexpected warmth and attentiveness were... surprising.
When the banquet finally began to wind down, he leaned closer once more, his voice just loud enough for you to hear. “I know this is overwhelming, Lady Park, but if it is any consolation, you’ve handled it with grace.”
You turned to him, meeting his steady gaze. “Thank you, Your Highness. Though I suspect you’ve handled it far more times than I ever will.”
He inclined his head slightly, his faint smile returning. “Perhaps. But it seems we’ll be handling it together now.”
The weight of his words lingered as the evening drew to a close, leaving you with an unexpected sense of companionship—however fragile it might have been.
The grand festivities had finally come to an end, and the palace halls grew quiet as the guests dispersed. Servants had escorted you and Seonghwa to the newly prepared royal chamber, its luxurious décor only adding to the weight of the day.
The large room was lit softly by golden sconces and candles, the warmth of the light contrasting with the coolness of your nerves. You stood in the center of the room, unsure what to do or say, your hands fidgeting slightly with the heavy jewelry draped over you.
Seonghwa, ever composed, closed the door behind him. For a moment, he stood silently, observing you with his usual unreadable expression. Then, stepping closer, he spoke in a tone that was softer than you expected.
“May I help you?”
You looked at him, startled. “With...?”
He gestured toward the intricate outer layers of your wedding dress and the heavy ornaments adorning your neck and wrists. “With this. I imagine it has been a long day for you.”
You hesitated, unsure whether to agree, but the weight of the jewelry was becoming unbearable. Finally, you gave him a small nod. “If you wish, Your Highness.”
A faint smile ghosted across his lips as he stepped behind you. “Turn around,” he instructed gently.
You complied, feeling his presence close behind you as his hands moved to unclasp the elaborate necklace around your neck. His movements were careful, precise, as though he feared hurting you.
“This must be heavier than it looks,” he murmured, setting the necklace aside on a nearby table.
“It is,” you replied quietly, your voice barely audible.
He moved to the bracelets next, unfastening them with ease. “I imagine it wasn’t easy to wear all this through the day.”
“It wasn’t, but I managed,” you said, your tone as stoic as ever.
“Of course you did,” he said, a hint of admiration in his voice.
Next, his hands reached for the ties of your outer gown, his fingers working deftly to loosen them. You felt the fabric lighten as he removed the outer layer, draping it neatly over a chair.
“I hope you don’t mind,” he said, stepping back slightly. “It felt inappropriate to summon a maid for this.”
You turned to face him, surprised by his consideration. “It’s fine,” you said softly, meeting his gaze briefly before looking away.
He inclined his head slightly, his dark eyes studying you for a moment. “You must be tired. You should rest.”
“And you, Your Highness?” you asked, your tone polite but distant.
He smiled faintly, the expression barely reaching his eyes. “I’ll manage, as I always do.”
With that, he stepped away, giving you space to prepare for bed. Though the room was large and luxurious, the atmosphere between you was quiet, almost delicate. As you finally lay down, your mind swirled with thoughts of the day, of the marriage, and of the man who had, against your expectations, shown you an unexpected gentleness.
When Seonghwa finally settled into the space beside you, he didn’t say a word. Yet, the calmness in his demeanor seemed to ease some of the tension in the room. And though you still felt like strangers, for the first time, you didn’t feel entirely alone.
The room was quiet, save for the faint crackle of the fire in the hearth. You lay on the grand bed, staring at the ornate canopy above, trying to will yourself to sleep. The day had been exhausting, yet your mind refused to settle. Beside you, Seonghwa’s steady breathing suggested he was equally restless.
Minutes passed in silence before his voice broke through the stillness, low and steady. “You’re not asleep either, are you?”
You turned your head slightly, catching the faint outline of his face in the dim light. “No,” you admitted. “Too much on my mind.”
He hummed thoughtfully. “Understandable. Today was... a lot, even by royal standards.”
You nodded, though he couldn’t see it clearly. “Do you ever get used to it? The expectations, the attention, the... weight of it all?”
“Not entirely,” he replied honestly. “But you learn to carry it differently over time.”
There was a pause, and then he added, “Though I imagine this is harder for you. You didn’t grow up with it.”
You let out a soft sigh, your voice quieter now. “It’s overwhelming. I feel like I don’t belong here.”
He shifted slightly, propping himself up on one elbow to look at you. “You’ll find your place. It may take time, but you will.”
You turned to face him, his face now more visible in the faint glow of the firelight. “Why are you being so gentle with me?” you asked, your tone a mixture of curiosity and disbelief.
His lips curved into the faintest smile, one corner quirking up. “I’m introverted, not heartless.”
The unexpected honesty in his reply caught you off guard, and for the first time that day, a small, genuine smile tugged at your lips. “Fair point.”
He lay back down, his voice softer now. “I don’t see the point in making this harder than it has to be. We’re both here because of duty, not choice. But that doesn’t mean we can’t find a way to make it bearable.”
You considered his words, the tension in your chest easing just slightly. “I suppose that makes sense.”
After you murmured your agreement, Seonghwa shifted slightly, turning onto his side to face you. His dark eyes, steady and calm, met yours in the dim light.
“You should sleep,” he said softly, his tone carrying a hint of finality. “It’s been a long day, and tomorrow will bring its own demands.”
You blinked at him, surprised by the subtle warmth in his voice despite his usual reserved demeanor. “I could say the same to you,” you replied, your tone quieter now.
A faint smirk tugged at the corner of his lips, barely visible in the low light. “I’ll sleep when you do. Consider it... a gesture of fairness.”
You didn’t argue, though you couldn’t quite bring yourself to look away from him. The firelight cast faint shadows on his face, softening the sharpness of his features. For a moment, you wondered if the man who had seemed so cold and distant all day might have more to him than you had assumed.
“Goodnight, Lady Park,” he said, his voice low and steady, his eyes lingering on yours for a beat longer than necessary before he closed them.
You hesitated, then finally replied, “Goodnight, Your Highness.”
Turning onto your back, you stared up at the canopy once more. But this time, the weight of the day felt a little lighter, and though your thoughts still swirled, the warmth of his words lingered, eventually lulling you into a restless, yet strangely comforting sleep.
The soft light of morning filtered through the curtains as you rose, the events of the previous day still weighing on your mind. After breakfast, you were introduced to your lady-in-waiting, a young woman named Eunji. She was polite and cheerful, eager to assist as she began organizing your dresses and jewelry in the royal wardrobe.
As she carefully laid out a selection of necklaces, her eyes lingered on one in particular—a delicate piece adorned with shimmering pearls and intricate goldwork.
“This one is especially beautiful,” she said softly, almost as though she hadn’t meant to voice her thoughts aloud.
You glanced at the necklace, then at her. “Do you like it?”
Her cheeks flushed as she quickly shook her head. “Oh, no, My Lady. It’s not my place to—”
You cut her off gently. “If you like it, you can keep it.”
Eunji froze, her eyes wide. “What? No, My Lady, I couldn’t possibly—His Highness would be furious if he found out—”
“He won’t,” you interrupted, your tone calm but firm. “And even if he does, I’ll deal with him.”
She hesitated, wringing her hands as she looked from you to the necklace. “But it’s too valuable... it wouldn’t be right.”
You sighed lightly, picking up the necklace and placing it in her hands. “Eunji, if I say it’s yours, then it’s yours. Consider it a gift.”
Her eyes filled with hesitation, but also gratitude. “My Lady, you’re too kind...”
“I insist,” you said, giving her a faint smile. “Besides, what’s the point of having all of this if it can’t bring someone a little happiness?”
After a moment of silence, she finally nodded, her fingers curling around the necklace. “Thank you, My Lady. I’ll treasure it.”
You gave her a small nod and returned to sorting through the rest of the items. Though you didn’t say it aloud, her joy over something so simple felt strangely fulfilling, a brief reprieve from the unfamiliar world you now found yourself navigating.
Later that afternoon, Seonghwa approached you as you sat in the study, quietly reading through a book. His footsteps were soft, but his presence was impossible to miss. Without preamble, he spoke, his voice calm but carrying an undertone of curiosity.
“I see you’ve gifted something to one of the servants.”
You looked up from your book, meeting his gaze. His face, as usual, betrayed little emotion, but there was no trace of anger there. “Yes,” you admitted evenly. “Are you mad?”
A ghost of a smile flickered across his lips. “It’s your belongings. Do whatever you wish with them.”
His words were simple, yet they carried an air of reassurance that you hadn’t expected.
He paused briefly, glancing toward the window before continuing. “By the way, I noticed you’ve organized your belongings in my room quite efficiently. Impressive.”
You blinked, your calm exterior faltering just slightly. “Should I... remove them?” you asked hesitantly, unsure if he found the arrangement intrusive.
Seonghwa turned his gaze back to you, his dark eyes steady and unreadable. “No,” he said, his tone firm but not unkind. “This room, this house—they’re yours now. You can do whatever you want here.”
For a moment, his words hung in the air, heavy with meaning. He wasn’t just giving you permission to arrange your belongings; he was offering you a sense of ownership, of belonging, in a world that still felt foreign to you.
You nodded slowly, unsure how to respond. “Thank you,” you murmured, returning your attention to your book, though your thoughts now lingered on his unexpected generosity.
Seonghwa didn’t say anything more. He simply gave a faint nod and walked away, leaving you with a strange sense of comfort and the quiet realization that, perhaps, this new life wouldn’t be as lonely as you had feared.
The days in the palace continued, a quiet routine settling between you and Seonghwa, interrupted only by the occasional royal event or meeting. You had grown accustomed to the rhythms of royal life, though the sense of unfamiliarity still lingered in the corners of your mind. The grand halls, the soft whispers of servants, the unspoken expectations—they all seemed so far removed from the life you had once known.
One afternoon, as you sorted through your tasks, you hesitated for a moment before turning to Seonghwa, who was seated at his desk, reading through a pile of royal documents.
“Seonghwa,” you began, your voice tentative, “I was wondering if I could have a little money. I need it for... something.”
He glanced up from his papers, his gaze sharp as always, but this time, there was a trace of something softer behind his eyes. He studied you for a moment, and then, it hit him—the realization that you still seemed uncertain, still hesitant when it came to making decisions, even small ones.
He set down his papers, his voice quieter, almost gentle as he addressed you.
“You still ask for permission, don’t you?” he said, a subtle sadness creeping into his words.
You froze, not quite understanding what he meant. “I... I just don’t want to overstep.”
Seonghwa shook his head, standing up from his desk. “This is your house now. It’s your life, your choices. And,” he paused, walking over to you with a soft expression, “my money is your money. You don’t need permission for anything.”
His words were simple, but they carried a weight of sincerity, as though he were explaining something basic to a child. And for a brief moment, you felt a warmth in your chest—a quiet understanding that perhaps, in his own way, Seonghwa was offering you a sense of freedom, something you had never truly known in this new world.
“You can do whatever you want,” he continued, his voice softer now. “The money, the house, everything. It’s yours. Don’t ask for permission again.”
You blinked at him, surprised by the softness in his tone, the genuine care that laced his words. Slowly, you nodded, the nervous tension in your shoulders easing. “Thank you,” you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper.
Seonghwa gave you a small smile, one that didn’t quite reach his eyes but still held a certain warmth. “You don’t need to thank me for that. I’m just reminding you of something you’ve already earned.”
You felt a strange comfort in his words, the weight of them sinking into your heart. It was a small moment, a simple exchange, but somehow it made this life, this strange new world you were trying to navigate, feel just a little more like home.
For the first time since childhood, since stepping into the palace and the unfamiliar life it held, you felt something you hadn’t realized you were missing: importance. You were no longer just a piece in someone else’s game, a mere addition to a royal family that was bound by duty and expectation. Seonghwa’s words—his reminder that this house, this life, was as much yours as it was his—had cracked open something inside you.
Without thinking, your arms moved instinctively, wrapping tightly around him. His presence, his warmth, and the unexpected kindness of his words had unraveled something deep inside you, something you hadn’t let yourself feel before: a sense of belonging.
Seonghwa froze for a moment, clearly startled by the sudden embrace. His body stiffened, unsure of how to react to the closeness, the softness in your hold. You could feel his breath catch slightly, his posture rigid as though he were trying to figure out whether to push you away or to let the moment pass. But you held on, the need to feel this sense of connection overwhelming any reservations you had.
“I... I’m sorry,” you muttered, realizing only then that you were clinging to him, your face pressed against his chest.
For a long, tense moment, neither of you spoke. The silence between you felt thick, as though both of you were holding your breath. Then, slowly, you felt Seonghwa’s arms move around you—hesitant at first, as though he wasn’t entirely sure how to respond to the warmth of your embrace. But when he did finally wrap his arms around you, the touch was gentle, almost tender, as though he was grounding himself in this unspoken moment.
“You don’t need to apologize,” he murmured quietly into your hair, his voice low and steady. There was an unfamiliar softness in it, a rare vulnerability that he seldom allowed to show. “You’re not a burden, you know.”
You squeezed your eyes shut, the knot in your chest loosening. His words, so simple yet so profound, made your heart flutter. You had been carrying the weight of so many expectations for so long, always trying to be what was needed, always trying to do what was right. But here, in his arms, you felt for the first time like you mattered—not for what you could offer, but for who you were.
“I just... I don’t know what I’d do without you,” you confessed, your voice barely above a whisper, as though you were afraid to speak the truth out loud. “I don’t know how to navigate this life. It feels... so different.”
Seonghwa’s grip on you tightened slightly, not out of necessity but of understanding. “You’re not alone in this, you know. I’m here. I’ll help you find your way.”
His words settled over you like a blanket, warm and comforting. You didn’t need to say anything more. You simply held on, and for a moment, the world outside seemed to fade. There were no royal expectations, no duty or obligations weighing down on you. There was just Seonghwa, just the feeling of being held, of being seen.
When he finally pulled back, his hands lingered at your sides, a hesitant gesture as if he weren’t ready to completely release the closeness you had just shared. His gaze met yours, and for the first time, you saw something in his eyes—a flicker of care, an unspoken connection between the two of you that neither of you had acknowledged until now.
“You’re important,” he said softly, his voice unwavering. “More than you know.”
And in that moment, you loved this feeling, you believed him.
#ateez#ateez fanfic#ateez x female reader#ateez x reader#ateez x you#kim hongjoong#hongjoong x reader#park seonghwa#seonghwa x reader#jeong yunho#yunho x reader#kang yeosang#yeosang x reader#choi san#san x reader#song mingi#mingi x reader#jung wooyoung#wooyoung x reader#choi jongho#jongho x reader#ateez seonghwa#seonghwa#seonghwa x you#seonghwa x y/n#seonghwa fanfic#seonghwa imagines#ateez imagines#arranged marriage au#fanfiction
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The Cranberries - Zombie 1994
"Zombie" is a protest song by Irish alternative rockband the Cranberries. It was written by the lead singer, Dolores O'Riordan, about the young victims of a bombing in Warrington, England, during the Troubles in Northern Ireland. The song was released on 19 September 1994 as the lead single from the Cranberries' second studio album, No Need to Argue. While the record label feared releasing a too controversial and politically charged song as a single, "Zombie" reached number 1 on the charts of Australia, Belgium, Denmark, Germany, and Iceland, and spent nine consecutive weeks at number 1 on the French SNEP Top 100. It reached number 2 on the Ö3 Austria Top 40, where it stayed for eight weeks. The song did not chart on the US Billboard Hot 100 chart as it wasn't released as a single there, but it reached number 1 on the US Billboard Alternative Airplay chart. Listeners of the Australian radio station Triple J voted it number 1 on the 1994 Triple J Hottest 100 chart, and it won the Best Song Award at the 1995 MTV Europe Music Awards.
The Troubles were a conflict in Northern Ireland from the late 1960s to 1998. The Provisional Irish Republican Army (IRA), an Irish republican paramilitary organisation, waged an armed campaign to end British rule in Northern Ireland and unite the region with the Republic of Ireland. Republican and Unionist paramilitaries killed more than 3,500 people, many from thousands of bomb attacks. One of the bombings happened on 30 March 1993, as two IRA improvised explosive devices hidden in litter bins were detonated in a shopping street in Warrington, England. Two people; Johnathan Ball, aged 3, and Tim Parry, aged 12, were killed in the attack. 56 people were injured. Ball died at the scene of the bombing as a result of his shrapnel-inflicted injuries, and five days later, Parry lost his life in a hospital as a result of head injuries. O'Riordan decided to write a song that reflected upon the event and the children's deaths after visiting the town: "We were on a tour bus and I was near the location where it happened, so it really struck me hard – I remember being devastated about the innocent children being pulled into that kind of thing. So I suppose that's why I was saying, 'It's not me' – that even though I'm Irish it wasn't me, I didn't do it. Because being Irish, it was quite hard, especially in the UK when there was so much tension." The song was re-popularised in 2023 after it was played after Ireland games at the 2023 Rugby World Cup. It was picked up by fans of the Irish team, with videos of fans singing the song in chorus accumulating hundreds of thousands of views on social media. This offended other Irishmen, who identified it as an "anti-IRA" anthem, and said that that the lyrics failed to consider their experience during the Troubles.
The music video, directed by Samuel Bayer, was filmed in Belfast, Northern Ireland, in the heart of the Troubles with real footage, and in Dublin. To record video footage of murals, children and British Army soldiers on patrol, he had a false pretext, with a cover story about making a documentary about the peace-keeping efforts in Ireland. Bayer stated that a shot in the video where an SA80 rifle is pointed directly at the camera is a suspicious British soldier asking him to leave, and that the IRA were keeping a close look at the shoot, given "the British Army come in with fake film crews, getting people on camera.” While "Zombie" received heavy rotation on MTV Europe and was A-listed on Germany's VIVA, the music video was banned by the BBC because of its "violent images", and by the RTÉ, Ireland's national broadcaster. Instead, both the BBC and the RTÉ opted to broadcast an edited version focusing on footage of the band in a live performance, a version that the Cranberries essentially disowned. Despite their efforts to maintain the original video "out of view from the public", some of the initial footage prevailed, with scenes of children holding guns. In March 2003, on the eve of the outbreak of the Iraq War, the British Government and the Independent Television Commission issued a statement saying ITC's Programme Code would temporarily remove from broadcast songs and music videos featuring "sensitive material", including "Zombie". Numerous media groups complied with the decision to avoid "offending public feeling", along with MTV Europe. Since it violated the ITC guidelines, "Zombie" was placed on a blacklist of songs, targeting its official music video. The censorship was lifted once the war had ended. In April 2020, it became the first song by an Irish group to surpass one billion views on Youtube.
"Zombie" received a total of 91% yes votes!
youtube
#finished#high votes#high yes#high reblog#low no#90s#the cranberries#english#o1#o1 sweep#o1 ultrasweep#o234#popular
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A Package Deal
In which Lando befriends a single mom without even realizing it.
Warnings: single mom. talk of parental death (no death featured on page), lando being a judgey jerk at first, kinda? Pairing: Lando Norris x SingleMom!Reader Word Count: 5.4k words
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109 likes liked by yourdad, BFFsarah, McLaren, and others yourusername Work holiday party with my mini me! yourdad my two favorite girls! >>>yourusername thanks dad! <3
The fairy lights that stretched back and forth across the ceiling of the McLaren Technology Center sparkle down at you, a soft glow illuminating the spacious front lobby. Half a dozen 12 foot Christmas trees dot the cavernous room and tables decorated with rich red, green, and silver accents create intimate seating areas throughout. The only things indicating that the offices were home to McLaren's Formula 1 team were the seven or so F1 cars from past and present, all put on display for tonight's party.
The events team had certainly outdone themselves this year, that was for sure. If there was anything the McLaren events team went hard for every single time, it was the MTC's annual family holiday party. This year though, the entire team had extra reason to celebrate: earlier in the month, the team had brought home the Constructor's Championship for the first time in years.
"Momma, where's Aunt Sarah?" Your six year old daughter Stella asks softly, her little hand tucked securely in yours as she looks around, eyes wide in awe at all the decorations.
"I don't know, munchkin." You reply, grinning down at her. "Do you want to see if we can find her?"
Your best friend Sarah was surely already here as she was one of the heads of the events team. She'd been planning this party for months now, the added pressure from the championship win had nearly driven her mad. A quick text is answered even quicker and you lead Stella towards the massive ballroom that sits on the opposite side of the sleek modern building.
As you walk down the hall, the heels of your stilettos clicking softly, you're surprised to be hit with a wave of nostalgia. You'd been working for McLaren for almost two years now, after Sarah had given the head of product development your resume when you graduated uni with a degree in computer science and data analytics. Marshall, the man who ran the department, had offered you a job as a data analyst on the spot when you came into interview the following week. It had all felt like divine intervention, going from getting pregnant so young and having no other choice but to navigate parenthood alone to finding yourself employed within weeks of graduating. McLaren truly felt like your second home now.
"There's my Stelly Belly!" Sarah cries when she sees Stella and you walking towards her. Without a second thought, your daughter drops your hand and flings herself into the waiting arms of your best friend, one of the few adults the little girl trusts enough to open up to.
"Don't you look pretty tonight?" Sarah coos, nuzzling her head into Stella neck, eliciting a squeal and a cascade of giggles from your little girl. "And your mama looks stunning too!"
Rolling your eyes, you smooth down the front of the red satin dress you'd bought last week. "Are you sure it's not too much?"
Your brows knit together in uncertainty. Ever since having Stella at 19, your life had revolved around the little girl. Everything you did and every choice you made was made because of her and with her best interest in mind. Going to university when she was a newborn had been for her benefit and the time spent away from her while you studied and attended classes were paying off now with your secure job and hefty paycheck. But you weren't used to calling attention to yourself, totally content with working behind a computer screen in your quiet office tucked in the back of the MTC. You came to work, socialized very little, and went home to your daughter. This kind of event was very much out of your comfort zone.
"Stop that." Sarah scolds as she sets Stella down. "You look so good you're going have the mechanics breaking their necks all night long."
"Okay, that's enough." You huff.
"Momma, Sarah says there's holiday crafts over there!" Stella points vaguely towards the other side of the room. "Can we go? Please?"
"Of course, sweetheart. Let's go."
"I'll take her!" Sarah volunteers, capturing Stella's little hand in hers before giving you a look. "Go get a drink or something. Have some fun. Stelly Belly and I will go make all the crafts!"
You watch after your best friend and the other half of your heart as they scamper away, Stella's red velvet dress fluttering behind her. Somewhere deep in the pit of your stomach, a painful clenching feeling takes root. For the past six years, your entire universe has revolved around that little blonde headed girl. Even now, though you spent more time apart from Stella than you cared for because of school for her and work for you, whenever she was out of sight it felt like a bit of you was missing.
Once you see her settle at the table right next to Sarah and begin coloring something in front of her, you turn away and wander towards the open bar. If there was one thing McLaren did right at these kinds of parties, it was provide top tier food and drinks for the employees.
You order a glass of what smells like the most heavenly mulled wine you've ever encountered and find a spot away from the crowd, leaning against a pillar in the shadows of the room. You weren't used to being around so many people and while you were glad Stella seemed to be enjoying herself, you could feel your social battery already draining.
"Well, if it isn't my favorite McLaren employee." A smooth voice interrupts your anxious thoughts.
You blush into your glass of wine, knowing who it was sneaking up behind you before you even turned around. "I'm telling Oscar you said that."
Lando slips in beside you, caramel colored cashmere jumper brushing against your bare arm. "You wouldn't dare." He says, bumping your shoulder gently. You can hear the smile in his voice without even looking.
When you say you don't socialize much at work, there is always going to be one exception to that rule: Lando Norris. He had wandered into your office one day about six months ago looking for the legal department of all places. Lando had sheepishly admitted he may have accidentally signed a contract to be the spokesman for a bank in Singapore while drunk on holiday and needed to see what how mad everyone was going to be. You then had to admit you were, in fact, just a software engineer and not a solicitor and he was not, in fact, anywhere near the legal department.
An unlikely friendship had been born that day though because instead of turning around and scampering away out of sheer embarrassment, Lando had plopped himself down in the chair opposite your desk and spent nearly an hour and a half peppering you with questions about your job.
Lando liked those moments he got to slip away during his busy days at the MTC to see you. It seemed like lately, he would find himself carving out time during his day to make a special visit to your office no matter what else he had scheduled that day. He liked the way you talked to him like he was a normal person and how easily you laughed at his jokes. You never made him feel stupid or inferior for asking questions about whatever project you were working on that day and you never asked him about racing. Not once. You were also the prettiest girl he'd ever seen and he was embarrassingly addicted to making you smile.
"You look stunning tonight." Lando says in a hushed voice. "Red is your color."
Although he's next to you still, Lando manages to steal little looks at you out of the corner of his eye. The red dress you've got on tonight should be illegal and it's showing off every dip and curve of your body. You pride yourself on how well you dress at the office but tended to stick with neutral colors and classic, conservative shapes that weren't jarring and allowed you to fade into the noise of a busy office a bit. The red was totally out of character for you and Lando found himself wanting to buy you an entire closet full of colorful dresses.
Your cheeks go crimson and you're thankful for the dim lights that hide it. "Thank you."
The other thing you're not used to is attention from men. Like your social life, any semblance of a dating life had been put on the back burner when you became a single mom. You didn't much miss it, if you were bing quite honest. Spending time with Stella was better than wasting a night on a man that would only end up disappointing you.
So when someone like Lando complimented you on the dress you wore you don't quite know how to react.
"Momma! Momma, look what Auntie Sarah and I made!" Stella interrupts anything that's about to come out of Lando's mouth when she runs up brandishing what looks to be a fairy wand tied with dozens of glittery ribbons.
You crouch down, not missing the way Lando stiffens beside you, and take the plastic wand out of Stella's hand. "Is this a magic wand?" You ask, voice breathy with awe.
"Yeah! Aunt Sarah helped tie the ribbons on after I picked them. They're all glittery and match Elsa's ice queen dress."
You smile, Elsa had always been Stella's favorite Disney princess. "That is so special, Stelly Belly."
A few feet away, Sarah takes in how close you and Lando were before Stella interrupted and smirks. "Come on, Stella. I think I saw a cookie decorating contest starting over by the wands!"
You stand, eyeing your best friend. "I can take her, Sarah. I'm sure you want to mingle."
"Nope! Stay. Talk. Be merry!" Sarah's eyes bounce between you and Lando and your cheeks heat at the implication.
Beside you, Lando rubs at his jaw trying to process the information he's just learned. Momma? This girl, cute as a button, was calling you mom? He rifles through his memory, trying to think of any time you'd ever mentioned being a mom and he can't come up with a single thing. And he's pretty sure he remembers everything you've ever said to him.
"You have a daughter." Lando says it more as a statement than a question and you wince.
This was always the part where you tended to lose people. Being as young as you were, you were used to people being put off by the fact that you had a daughter. A lot of people your age weren't ready for kids yet and had a hard time figuring you out because you had such radically different priorities. Neither set of priorities was better than the other, just different.
"I do. Her name is Stella." You respond, leaning against the pillar once again. The cool marble sends shivers down your back as you prepare to lose someone who had made more of an impact on you than you realized.
"You never said anything about her." He observes, his tone unreadable.
"You never asked." You shrug, trying not to get defensive. "Her pictures are all over my office, Lan. I've never hid the fact that I have Stella."
Lando thinks back, recalling the office he's spent so much time in lately. You're right, of course. There are bits of Stella all over the place in the drawings on your desk to the school picture that sits near the spider plant close to the window. But somehow Lando had never noticed anything else other than you.
He rubs at the back of his neck, "I guess I just assumed she was your niece or something."
"Nope. She's all mine."
"And her dad?" The moment the question slips from Lando's mouth, he regrets it. His eyes shutter closed but not before he catches a glimpse of the way you flinch.
He hates himself for thinking he deserves to be privy to this information. For being so bold as to ask for the sordid details of your life when all you are to each other is a casual work flirtation. He hates himself for implying that you'd ever flirt with him when there was someone else in the picture. Or worse, that you now have to relive a painful story behind why there wasn't.
"You don't have to answer that." God, he was so good at speaking before thinking, wasn't he? It had gotten him into so much hot water with the press this year during the championship run and here he was again, putting his foot in his mouth like an idiot.
"It's fine." You sigh, knowing that anyone who wants to be in your life is going to have to hear the story at some point. You just hadn't anticipated it happening with Lando, having been perfectly content with the safety of your innocent work flirtation.
"I had Stella when I was 19, her dad was killed in a car accident when she was eight months old. She turned six in September.”
The silence that stretches between you is heavy, clashing with the light and festive mood that swirls around you.
"Christ. I'm sorry, love."
You hate how painful that tugging sensation on your heart is when Lando calls you 'love'.
Shrugging, you hope you feign nonchalance well enough to fool him. You know it doesn’t.
“Listen, I should go check on Sarah and Stella, make sure Stella doesn't sweet talk Sarah into a puppy or something. Those two together is how I ended up with a kitten last year."
The brightness in your voice is all for show but Lando sees right through it.
You're gone before he can get a word in though.
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yourusername (private) posted
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102 likes liked by BFFsarah, yourdad, yoursister, and others yourusername Quick trip into London for some last minute pressies! yourdad I'm a size Rolex in silver and gold please! >>>yourusername Ha Ha Ha, very funny father BFFsarah Brave brave girl! >>>yourusername brave or stupid, you decide!!!
"Come on, sweet girl, let's find your Papa a Christmas present so we can get out of this mad house."
You tug at Stella's hand, who was currently practically drooling over a display of sparkly gold and diamond jewelry in Harrods jewelry department. Around you, crowds swirl and people jostle each other as they all hustle to pick out their precious gifts before Santa's big night. Why you had chosen to come into London the weekend before Christmas was a mystery, but you were fully convinced that you had lost it when you had agreed to come to Harrods at Stella's request.
"But this necklace is so pretty, Momma!" Stella whines, eyes dragging over the diamond necklace on display in front of her.
"Yes, I know but I don't think your grandpa wants a diamond necklace for Christmas. Let's go up to the fifth floor where the kitchen gadgets are! You know how much he loves to cook!"
Stella rolls her eyes, which you choose to ignore. For all of her attitude today, Stella wasn't usually an ornery child. She was very well behaved and quite reserved so you gave her extra grace when it was crowded and loud like this. You knew she got overstimulated easily, just like you did.
"Fine." She sighs, casting one last longing look at the display. "Maybe Santa will bring me the necklace." She mutters and you have to tamp down a laugh.
You take Stella's hand in yours, despite her giving you another look of contempt. She was much too big of a girl to be holding her mother's hand, thank you very much. You ignored the glare and squeezed at your daughter's hand, knowing that she's not really angry at you.
Up on the fifth floor, the homewares section is significantly quieter than where you just were. Stella spots a display of colorful Kitchen Aid mixers that she scampers over to while you wander over to the espresso machines while reminding her to stick close. Out of the corner of your eye, you keep watch over her while debating the merits of different coffee machines.
"Well, if it isn't my favorite McLaren employee out in the wild." A velvety smooth voice sends familiar shivers down your spine.
"Favorite? You've been avoiding me since the holiday party." You quip without taking your eyes off the silver machine in front of you, knowing exactly who it is beside you without even looking.
Ever since the holiday party nearly two weeks ago, you hand't seen Lando at all despite knowing that he was at the MTC at least a few days. You hated that you knew that most of that time he had been out of the country, skiing in France then golfing in Spain. You also hated that you kept track of the amount of times you had known he was in Woking at the MTC and hadn't even bothered to stop in and say 'hi' to you.
Lando's hand rubs at the back of his neck. "I know. I'm sorry." His voice is low, tinged with guilt.
"Listen, it's fine." You turn to face him for the first time and your traitorous heart thuds a little harder in your chest. That mullet you teased him about so much at first had really grown on you and boy did it look good today.
"It's not like we're friends, Lando." You don't work as hard as you probably should to keep the frustration out of your voice. "You don't owe me anything and it's the off season for you. I shouldn't have said anything."
Lando frowns at you, confusion knitting his brow together. "We...we aren’t friends?" The hurt in his voice was unmistakable, tugging painfully at something in the pit of your stomach.
Your eyes shutter close at the look on his face. Lando might play the lovable goofball for the public and in the press but you knew better. You knew that he was a pretty big softie at heart and you immediately regretted your words, knowing that they would have struck him deep.
"What was I supposed to think, Lan? You seemed pretty put off when you found out about Stella and then you just..." You pause, unsure of where this anger was coming from. You hadn't really realized how hurt you had bene by his sudden ghosting until this very moment. "You just sort of disappeared. It's fine. I'm totally used to it."
The vulnerability in your voice makes Lando's heart clench painfully. He had been spooked initially about you having a daughter and he knew his reaction probably left a lot to be desired. He just had been so blindsided by the appearance of your little girl that night that he hadn't handled it well. Lando had been unwilling to admit before that night during the holiday party that he had been becoming more and more attached to you and he didn't know where Stella fell into place between you and him. It scared him, adding an entirely new layer to the budding friendship that you two had struck up. A friendship that he had been wanting to see if it could have progressed into more but now...now he didn't know.
"Momma, can we get Papa a mixer so he can make me more cakes next year?" Stella's small voice interrupts that awkward silence that had fallen between you and Lando.
You can't help the chuckle that leaves your lips despite yourself. "Stella, I don't think that's a very good reason to gift someone something."
"I don't know, sounds like solid reasoning to me." Lando chimes in, smile tugging at the corner of his mouth as he looks down at Stella. "Hi, I'm Lando." He crouches down so he's eye level with your daughter.
"That's a funny name." Stella regards Lando with a suspicious look. Stella is a quiet little mouse of a child most of the time and doesn't easily trust adults. There are very few people she's comfortable which is why her comment catches you off guard.
"Stella!" You scold, face going crimson at the lack of filter on her.
To your relief, Lando just chuckles. "I guess you're right, it is kind of a funny name. But I think Stella is a funny name too."
Stella' narrows her eyes but then she seems to realize he's just teasing her and she smiles. "I like you." She declares simply, as if deciding to be Lando's friend is the easiest thing in the world.
A fact that you already know is true.
"I'm hungry. Can we go get dinner now?" Stella turns back to you now and you startle a bit when you realize what time it is.
"Let me take you two to dinner. There's a place down the street that has some of the best chicken nuggets in all of England." Lando's offer throws you off for a moment you're so surprised. "As an apology for making you question our friendship."
Stella gasps as if that is the most exciting suggestion she's ever heard in her life. Your stomach does a quick swoop at spending more time with the driver outside of the office. You are a bit hesitant, pride still stinging from when he ignored you after the holiday party, but Stella looks so excited you find yourself nodding.
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Twenty minutes and one espresso machine later, you have the giant package shipped off to your house before walking towards a cozy pub that Lando suggests. It's strange to you, walking down the crowded streets with Stella tucked between you and Lando, listening to her prattle away. Once in a while, Lando shoots you a look over the top of your daughter's head that is all amusement and happiness.
Meanwhile, you're reduced to silence, listening in awe to Stella's babbling. She has always been a reserved little girl, following in her mother's footsteps of being an introvert. She doesn't open up to just anyone and even when she does find an adult she likes, it takes her quite a bit of time to talk to them the way she's talking to Lando as he navigates the three of you towards your destination.
Around you, people bustle up and down the sidewalk, the streets of London an absolute hive of activity and it's a bit overwhelming. You're momentarily worried about Stella, knowing she doesn't do very good in crowds just like you but then something catches your eye that has your heart leaping into your throat. Captured in Lando's large hand is Stella's tiny one, a silent gesture of affection from your six-year-old. The way your chest squeezes at the sight has tears pricking at the corner of your eyes.
Lando catches the look on your face, full of awe and something else he can't quite place, and when your gaze snags on his moments later he gives you a dazzling smile. When Stella had reached out to take Lando's hand a few blocks ago, he had panicked a bit. He wasn't too experienced with kids, his niece’s being much younger than Stella, but he felt something deep in his chest that told him when the little girl beside him reached for his hand, it was a sincere sign of trust from her.
"Here we are." Lando says once you're safely across the road. "I hope you're ready for the best chicken nuggets in all of London."
Dinner is a loud affair, Stella peppering questions left and right to Lando and Lando expertly fielding them. He even gets some questions in edgewise and has both you and Stella laughing the entire meal. It's the most relaxed Lando's seen you the entire time he's known you. Despite his initial reservations at spending time with someone who has a child, he finds himself not wanting the evening to end. He's never been so thankful for last minute gift requests in his entire life.
Your bellies are full when you spill out onto the sidewalk, the chilly London air biting at your cheeks. It was going to be a cold train ride home. You reach into your tote bag to pull out a scarf and hat, tugging both on Stella despite her yowls of displeasure.
"Stella." You sigh, finally getting her to leave her hat on her head after a tense few moments as Lando watched on, smile sitting at the edge of his lips. "Come on, it's cold tonight and you know the train isn't much better."
"Train?" Lando asks, frown appearing on his face.
"We took the train into the city today. Someone wanted an adventure." You look pointedly at your daughter, who just shrugs, totally unfazed by the chilly evening air.
"That's like, a forty-five minute trip! On the train? At night? Alone?"
Something twists in Lando's stomach at the thought of you and Stella all alone on the train at night. He knows the trains are, objectively, safe and you'd probably be fine but it just doesn't sit right with him knowing that he'd have to leave both of you at a train station unable to be with you in case something happened.
"I know." You breathe, knowing that the moment Stella sits down on the train she's going to be out like a light and you're going to have a very grumpy six-year-old on your hands on the other end of the line. "I don't have a choice, I'm not ordering an Uber home. It'll be fine, Lando. We do this all the time."
The thought of you navigating the crowded train alone with the tiny wisp of a girl that tucked her hand back into his as soon as she got close enough to him hurts a surprising amount. It's a jarring feeling, one that he's totally unprepared for. His memory darts back to the night he found out you had a daughter. He thought for sure the budding chemistry between you would fizzle out. He had thought that he wasn't interested in getting involved with someone who had a child because it complicated things to a degree he wasn't sure he was ready for. He still struggled with looking after himself successfully sometimes. Dating someone with a child? Up until this very moment, Lando thought that was completely off the table.
"You're not taking the train home. I'll drive you." Lando's voice has an edge of finality in it that tells you this is going to be a fight, one that you're not sure you're prepared to fight.
You blink up at him, unable to form a response for several moments. Beside you, Stella cheers. "Yes! No boring train!"
"Woah, slow down." You warn, shaking your head. "Lando, I appreciate the offer but we can't." Stella looks absolutely crestfallen next to you as she yanks her hand out of Lando's grasp and crosses her arms over her chest.
"Why not?" Lando's frown mirrors Stella's and you nearly laugh.
Beside the fact that he couldn't stand the thought of you on the train by yourself with Stella this late at night, Lando didn't really want the night to end. He had sat across from you at dinner and there were several moments while Stella chattered on that he caught your gaze and you had given him the most prettiest smile he'd ever seen.
"Well, for one, Stella needs a booster seat to ride in a car and I don't think those come standard in Ferrari's or McLaren's."
"For the record, I drove my Range Rover into the city." Lando retorts before glancing around the crowded city street. "Look! There's a Mamas & Papas across the street! That's where my brother got my niece’s carseat a few months ago. I'm sure they sell booster seats too."
You can't help but stare at Lando, a bit dumbfounded. When you had started getting to know the driver months ago, you had what you had thought was a pretty accurate idea of who he was off the track: young, sinfully good looking, deeply unserious, and only interested in partying and having a good time. But voluntarily spending an evening with you and your daughter? Offering to buy Stella a booster so he could drive you home? The way Lando surprised you in that moment had you swaying on your feet a bit.
"Can we, Momma? Please! I want to drive home with Lando!"
There are two sets of big puppy dog eyes turned on you and you find yourself tossing your hands up in the air in defeat. "That's not fair! You two can't team up against me!"
Lando looks down at Stella, mischievous grin overtaking his handsome face. "I think we won, Stelly Belly." He shout-whispers, eyes sliding over to you, giving you a wink.
"You two are going to be trouble together, aren't you?" Is the last thing you say before Lando grabs your hand and drags you towards the shop to buy your daughter a booster seat.
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#f1#formula 1#lando norris#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#lando norris fanfic#lando fluff#lando x you#lando x reader#lando norris x reader#lando norris imagine
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There's a post going around right now about women being allowed to wear pants, and the way that relates to discussions on gender nonconformity, etc.. There's a long thread of folks talking about how women very much do not have absolute freedom to dress masculine, and a few other posts that have spawned off the main discussion.
And I haven't added onto that main post because I didn't feel like I had much to add, but now it's been a couple days and I can't stop thinking about how I was forced to wear a dress to my high school graduation in small-town Mississippi. I'm not a woman, but I didn't know that yet, so it's a relevant story.
The school administration threatened every single girl with the punishment of being banned from walking across the stage if we wore pants beneath our graduation robes. We got an entire lecture about how it was inappropriate for us to wear pants to such an important formal event.
My school had a strict uniform policy, and the graduating seniors being allowed to wear our own clothes to graduation was seen as a huge fucking deal. We'd spent four years not being allowed to wear our own clothes or accessories, and graduation was supposed to be our time to finally wear what we wanted. This was a bigger deal than it might have been otherwise, because my school also refused to allow us to decorate our graduation caps. We were not allowed to display any customization at all. One girl put her name on hers so her family could find her from the crowded stands, and the school administration made her throw her hat away and buy a new one or else she wouldn't be allowed in the event hall.
The school, knowing how excited many of us were about picking our outfits, gave us a strict dress code. Our outfits wouldn't be seen until after we took off the graduation robes to go home, but still, we had a nightmarishly strict guide for what we were allowed to wear beneath them. They had to be formal outfits, they had to fit a certain color scheme, they had to adhere to the school policy about skirt length and skin visibility, and, naturally, they were extra harsh on the girls, as dress code policies always are.
One guy joked that he was going to go naked underneath in solidarity with all the girls who were upset about the dress requirement. He got pulled aside by an administrator and told that if he made that joke again, he wouldn't be given his diploma. Which I'm pretty sure is illegal, but it was still the threat that got made.
Everyone was pissed, several people were livid because they had already bought an outfit they were now not allowed to wear, because the administration had actively misled us for weeks into believing we would be allowed to wear what we wanted. There had been no mention of dress code requirements until they dropped them on us at rehearsal the morning of graduation, less than 12 hours before the event.
We had no power to override the school administration. We were given a strict lecture at rehearsal about how flouting dress codes is unprofessional and if we gave that kind of attitude to people over dress codes in the workplace, we'd be fired.
We were ultimately told that, "if it's not appropriate for church, it's not appropriate for graduation." Those of us who asked "what if we aren't Christian and don't even go to church" were told "you still know what kind of clothes church clothes are, so stop being rude."
This happened in May of 2011.
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It's me. I'm the cis, heterosexual, aromantic man. I will never marry, I will never be married, I will grow into middle age and elder age and I will die unmarried. I will be forced to support a household of myself on only my wages alone for the rest of my life. I will be asked about women and marriage and children by my family for the rest of my life (or men, the progressive ones might say). I may not ever come out to them. I feel like I burned my coming out on something stupid. I don't want to explain it. I don't want to run them through the definitions and intricacies. I don't want the acceptance without understanding, placating me with ceased questions and poor explanations to other, drunk adults.
I like my hair to be long, I spent a year with it dyed a golden blonde with dark roots because I like the trashy party girl aesthetic. I want to dye it again with pink tips. I like painting my nails, black and blue are my favorite colors. I like wearing chokers. I also like wearing baggy jeans and ratty hoodies. I like having stubble. I like having chest hair. I like having a square jaw and broad shoulders. I wish I had a flatter stomach and a thinner profile frame. I don't know what this makes me, perhaps this is something no more GNC than Machine Gun Kelly. I think about this a lot, how queer my appearance truly is. I should think about it less. I have thought long and hard about if I could be trans or if I could be non-binary or if I could be genderqueer and the conclusion I ultimately came to is that I most enjoy being a man open to whatever self-expression I want.
I don't date, but I've thought about it. I would like to meet people, and I would like to have sex with them. But I don't want to hurt them. I fear if I explain what I am beforehand it'll scare them away. I fear if I explain after they'll feel manipulated or abused. I don't know how many people in the dating scene want what I want. I fear my own lack of experience will make me a bad lay, an embarrassing story to tell to confidants in hindsight. I fear my own virginity, a boundary to those I wish to be like. All of these fears are baseless, as I've not been able to even begin a single relationship in my life. Despite this I still heavily identify with terms like "slut" and "manwhore" and "thot" because my interests lay so deeply within casual sex, sex without great intimacy or emotion. This may be some form of stolen valor. I hope the true sluts are not too mad at me.
I made this blog several years ago because a mutual of mine reblogged memes making fun of aro and ace people, making fun of the concept of aphobia, and in addition well known aphobes. I didn't feel comfortable talking about aro stuff on my main blog, for as little as I talk about it. Living through the ace discourse of the 2016 era has largely caused me to cringe in embarrassment any time I am forced to discuss my orientation with people who aren't aro or ace themselves. I no longer follow this person. I unfollowed many people I was mutuals with from that time, most of them because they posted too often about how much they hated men and I didn't want to see that, some because our interests simply drifted too far apart, only one for explicit aphobia reasons. (Also one because they became a "both sides are bad, any vote is wasted" libertarian, but that's unrelated.)
I guess at this point I don't care deeply about what strangers on the internet think of me. If a trusted friend told me that they don't think I'm truly queer that may hurt. But I am going to continue to use the word for myself. I take up no resources. I go to events that are open to me. If an event was not open to me, I think I'd not want to go anyways. I am not a hypothetical, I am not a strawman, I am a person with lived experiences both within and exterior to the queer community. If you hate me, I will permit you to continue to do so. But ultimately, I am who I am, I cannot change these facts, and I would not choose to do so even if I could.
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morning glory
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pairing: spencer reid x reader
description: following the events of drunken confessions. the next morning after spencer tells you he loves you, albeit drunk and half asleep, you don't know if he means it.
tags: fluff, gn!reader, hangover but i dont dwell on it, whiny!spencer (lol), so so soft, r is so unsure but she just needs reassurance.
a/n: omg my first pt 2 as per popular demand (3 people asked), happy reading!
wc: 1.6k
i love you.
three words that bounce from one end to the other in your head, like a pendulum, reverberating across the hard surface of your skull. it echoes through the small space of your ear canal, taking up entirely too much space. it repeats with the beat of your pulse, heart thudding in a steady rhythm.
suffice it to say, you barely slept. running the words over and over for some kind of clarity. instead you preoccupied yourself with watching spencer sleep, like you are now.
with the sunrise, came light. light that filtered through the curtains just enough that you could see his face. his lips are slightly parted, soft puffs of air that don’t quite reach you. they’re pulled down minutely, in a little frown, seemingly how his face falls when he's unconscious. it's sweet. his eyebrows twitch, creasing momentarily, you wonder if he’s dreaming, or if it's a nightmare.
your fingers itch to reach out and touch him, soothe the line. but he's so peaceful, you don't know if you want to wake him up. you never get to see him like this, without the weight of the world on his shoulders, unthinking. so you stall a bit, let the wave of serenity pass before it comes crashing down in the form of a violent hangover.
you probably stay like that for an hour, an hour spent admiring his features. it's easier than confronting what he said. he’d stayed in the same position all night, curled up on his side, facing you. you’re leaning on your elbow now, looking down at him from above. his face moves, nuzzling into the pillow beneath his head. it causes that same stubborn strand of hair to fall loose.
you give in and touch him this time, tucking the piece behind his ear. you trace a finger over his brow bone and then down the slope of his perfect nose. this causes him to stir, eyes fluttering open as he takes in his surroundings before they land on you. they instantly soften.
“morning,” you whisper, wary of your volume.
“hey,” he croaks, voice riddled in sleep. all his features pull up, twisted in a grimace as his head throbs. he rolls onto his back, bringing his fingers up to his temple, rubbing the pads of them in between his eyebrows.
“where's your aspirin?”
he hums in thought, or in pain, it's uncertain. “the um- drawer,” he points beside him aimlessly, eyes still closed. he's about to move to get it but you stop him, leaning over his body to reach the bedside table next to him. you reach over him, hovering awkwardly over his body. you shiver imperceptibly when his hand settles on your waist for support, an unconscious action, you suppose. when you find it, you give him a pill and he swallows, his hand falls back to his side.
“what time is it?” he grumbles.
“quarter to twelve,” you respond, barring a quick look at the analog clock that sat on his dresser.
he harrumphs, something of acknowledgement. you didn’t think he’d be this grumpy waking up but you don't mind, it's awfully cute.
“it’s so bright,” he says, squeezing his eyes shut further, if possible.
“your eyes are closed.”
“my retinas are burning,” he whines, throwing his arm over his eyes to shield him from the sunlight in a thespian flourish.
“so dramatic,” you huff as you get up to close the curtains, the smile in your voice irrefutably evident. you peek out the window first, your car is still parked outside, you stayed the night!
when you sit back down on the bed, his head seeks you out, laying gently on your lap. you card a hand through his hair, the action seemingly appropriate. he lets out a hum, satisfied.
“do you remember much from last night?” you ask, trying to come off casual, the question is loaded to say the least. plus, you don't know if alcohol affects an eidetic memory the same way. maybe he remembers everything, like always.
“no,” he says with a little shrug. “well, i remember going to the bar and morgan spilling a shot on his shirt but that's it.”
oh. so not that differently.
“well, i'm sure he’ll appreciate you remembering that,” you chuckle, ruffling his hair. with a long sigh, you decide to not bring it up. it’ll come back to him, surely. you’ll wait for him to come to you about it.
you lift his head off your lap and let him sink back into the pillows. “how about you freshen up and i’ll make you some toast?”
his eyes peek open, barely. “yes please,” he replies meekly, a small smile in tow.
-
you put slices of bread into the toaster on his counter, leaning against it as you wait. what happens if he doesn't remember? will you tell him? how do you even bring that up?
hey spencer! last night you told me you love me. do you?
the loud spring of the toaster startles you back to the moment. behind his bedroom door, you can hear the faint sound of his shower running and you remember you’re still in his clothes. god, you're gonna have to wear yesterday's clothes back home. you mindlessly take the hot toast out and set it on a plate, wincing when you hold them for too long. you put 2 more slices of bread in, for you of course.
you decide to make some eggs too, pulling the carton out of the fridge and getting a pan from beside his sink. you move with surprising ease through his kitchen, like you’d been there before. you haven't, but again, it's so easy with spencer, it apparently extends to his home too. you hum absentmindedly, cracking an egg into a bowl and beating it with a fork. you don’t know it yet but spencer's watching you, having finished his shower.
-
it all comes back to him slowly, as he puts on a new change of clothes, skin still a little damp.
asking penelope for a drink, drinking it, thinking, thinking about you, you showing up? maybe he was magic. you sitting with him, talking to him, taking him home. he remembers stumbling up the stairs, his arm thrown haphazardly over your shoulders and yours hooked around his waist.
“you're so nice, y’know?”
“yeah? you won't think so tomorrow morning.”
you tucked him in, stayed when he asked you to. you told him about your breakup and he told you, oh, he told you he loved you.
shit.
he has to make this right. he's quick to feed his arm into the last sleeve and walk out of his room. however, he stops when he sees you. swaying lightly, humming a tune he recognises from last night, standing there in his clothes. he thinks he might die. clearly, he wasn’t paying much at all when he woke up earlier. damn headache.
-
“i told you i loved you.”
your head snaps in his direction, unaware of his presence. you jump a little before calming. “yeah... you did,” you confirm, trying to keep your tone light. it wasn't a question but you still answer. he remembers.
“and you told me to tell you again when i wake up,” he recalls.
you chuckle quietly, “i didn't realise you heard that.”
“i did.”
you nod, slowly, expectantly, for him to say something else, anything else.
“i love you.” there it is.
“you mean that?” your voice comes out way smaller than you intended. he still hasn't moved.
“of course i do,” he says with a sigh, inching his way closer. you look like you're going to spook.
“okay,” you breathe, looking down at your fingers, you begin to ramble. “it's just, last night- you were drunk and sleepy and well, tired and i didnt know if you were being honest or just saying it on whim.”
he's suddenly in front of you and you can't look at him. he's fine with that, it makes it slightly easier.
“hey, i mean it. i love you. i’m sorry i said it how i did, it wasn't fair. and you don't have to say anything back, i just- want you to know.”
you look up at him now, eyes searching, and when you find sincerity in his eyes, you soften, muttering out a quiet “okay.” your lips twist to the side, trying not to smile, but glee fills out every nook and cranny of your body. he takes this as a good sign and lets out the breath he didn't realise he was holding, smiling back at you.
“so,” you start, seemingly casual. “how do you take your eggs?”
spencer laughs, amused by your change in topic. he nods toward the bowl of already beaten eggs, “scrambled.”
you nod, firmly. you pick up the bowl and move to the stovetop, but not before grabbing his fingers with your free hand and pulling him with you.
your thumb glides along the curve of his forefinger as you hold it between your bodies, waiting for the pan to heat up. you’re biting your lip so much, you think you might draw blood. you’re unbearably happy. and you think you’re doing a good job of hiding it but you’re not. spencer can see the way you giddily twitch by his side, opting on not saying anything about it as he smiles softly.
“you love me,” you tease, singsong, dragging out the ‘love’. your head leans against his shoulder.
“mhm,” he confirms. ”you’re never gonna let me live this down, huh?”
“nope,” you chirp, pressing a chaste kiss to his shirt.
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