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2025 glow up
Drink water
Fraternize with no one. Live in complete isolation so as not to risk being disappointed ever
take walks
#already living the life 🫡#convincing myself that I’m so used to the complete isolation that it’s not a problem anymore
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The interlibrary loan has exhausted all possible sources and couldn’t find the book I wanted,, is there any reason to go on?
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Cutting your bangs can really revitalize your entire head
#I only trimmed them and I feel like I’ve gotten much more volume on my entire head not just the bangs#I know there’s no way this actually makes sense but I guess I only see the front of my hair so that’s why
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My life is so waiting for Godot coded
#waiting for over an hour at two different bus stops in the past two days 👍#never understood that main character bs until now
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i can't be the only one who's just straight-up ... bored with women hating themselves. my mom keeps lamenting to me how upset she is about her gray hair. my friend stares at her laugh lines every day in agony. my sister loses sleep over the horrible unbearable thought of looking fat. and every time these women i love open up to me, i can't help but think ... then stop staring at yourself? stop drowning yourself, narcissus, and just fucking live your life instead of sitting in front of a mirror obeying cosmetic corporations' lies. just stop it. this is getting ridiculous. you're too smart to be falling for this bullshit. "oh no but these men who hate women told me that if i'm ugly i'm worthless!" girl if you actually believe that then good luck. but i am getting worse at being supportive of people whose nonsense worldviews keep them trapped in pain. stop looking at yourself start fucking living i am pleading you deserve to be happy and it is stupid that you disagree
#just because something is simple doesn’t mean its easy#<<<literally#it will take some effort to reframe your thinking or avoid negative messaging in apps/tv/etc but you can at least try#try to simply ignore it and soon it won’t even be something you think about
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Showing up *slightly* unannounced to my advisor’s office so I can get him to sign paperwork makes me feel like Valerie solanas
#I did say it in an email that I could come in person if that’s easier#but that also went unanswered like the countless other emails I sent him about the paperwork
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rip to mary oliver but i’m different. i do have to walk on my knees for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
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what is that little thang in the bottom left corner
#me when I saw a chipmunk scurrying across the sidewalk in front of me#it was a delayed reaction realization#and also I just want to brag so everyone knows I saw a chipmunk today
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Screaming crying throwing up at the function where I’m surrounded by British people
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I don't mind being a girl but sometimes I look at other girls and I think about how we are not the same gender
#okay I think this pretty much sums how I feel but struggle to explain#and it’s not even a ‘I’m not like other girls bc I don’t like pink’ thing because I still feel like an imposter if I'm wearing a dress#I know people see me as a girl but sometimes when I'm reminded of that it feels weird...I just sit there like huh ok#other times I'm a bit more 'uhh im not sure' ...all in my head tho I would never say it out loud (bc I dont even know myself)#all this to say yea maybe im not a girl but also it doesn't always bother me/I can just not think about it...but will that eventually burst#maybe but also maybe I can just continue to avoid that and it could be fine idk
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I can’t listen to the depressing music I used to listen to when I was younger, which I consider a win
Back then I would just play those songs constantly, truly the embodiment of that “wake up and listen to [xyz]…did you even try to be happy” meme but now I can’t just sit and listen because my emotional baseline is higher than it used it be. At least that’s how I’m thinking of it. It could also simply be a change in preferences over time but I still do listen to some sad songs it’s just no longer wallowing in the sadness or feeling like it’s inescapable. Writing this realization down makes me feel like things did actually get better despite what I thought when I was like a teenager. Even though it’s not perfect now and I still have my lows, I know I’ve gotten better
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they hate to see a big fucking pathetic coward loser winning
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basically if you are lonely rn even if you are so lonely you think you could just die because you will never stop being lonely you have to keep going regardless because things will not always be that way and wonderful people will enter your life when you least expect it. this sounds totally hollow i’m sure because these kinds of reassurances sounded hollow to me when i was so lonely i thought i could just die but i am okay now and i love people who love me too and you will also be okay and you will also love people who love you too.
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