#spending the month with her is so bad i wish i could sleep all those days and never see her face

[grlfriends]

and tonight [redacted] will be the reason I stay alive

[venuszn]

☆ : Open When

Summary / In which Bada writes you letters to read whenever you miss her presence

Cw / Angst, Fluff, Smut, Dom!Bada, Fem!Reader, Phone sex, ummm probably missed some, MDNI

Wc / 5.3K words

Open when you’re sad

“Hi princess,

I’m sorry that you’re feeling this way right now and that I'm not there to hold you and tell you that everything will be okay. But I can and will tell you that with the words in this letter. You know that I love you and I will keep saying it till the words dry up my throat.

I wish nothing but happiness for you but I’m also aware that bad days are inevitable and that sadness is a human emotion, which like happiness, you should be allowed to feel in all its entirety. I know it's hard right now, but allow yourself to feel sad. You’re allowed to cry, you're allowed to scream and maybe even throw something (like a pillow or teddy - don't hurt yourself). You’re feeling down and that's ok, you’re human.

I know I always say that you're perfect (to me you are, you’re literally heaven sent you’re my angel) but to the rest of the cruel world perfection isn’t possible and so you shouldn’t be too hard on yourself. I like to remind myself that sadness is an emotion. Its power is not absolute. It will come and it will go making room for other emotions such as relief, happiness, hope . . .

There will always be hope.

You are strong and you can take back control of your emotions. But allow yourself to feel them first, it doesn’t make you weak. It takes a lot of courage to face the raw and uncomfy feelings we have and I know you can do it. Go at your own pace and remember that your feelings are valid and that you are loved.

Especially by me, your loving and maybe a little bit obsessed girlfriend.

Lots of love,

Bada.”

A tear dropped onto the paper. You blinked and quickly wiped your eyes, not realising that your girlfriend's heartfelt expressions had triggered an earthquake of emotions within you. Bada knew that you had a tendency to repress your emotions. She knew that when you were sad you skillfully put on a facade, a mask, and played the ideal role of the happy easy going girlfriend. You didn't want to burden anyone with how you felt. You were used to dealing with it alone and so you always did.

But Bada showed you that it was ok to not always be ok. That you didn’t have to bear it all alone. You weren’t perfect, some days you fell back into old habits and distanced yourself from her as the exhaustion from faking happiness would overwhelm you. But she was always patient and waited for you.

She showed you that you could still be loved even on your bad days.

Sobs thundered in your chest. You gripped the letter as if the words themselves would slip between the cracks of your fingers and drift away into the night. Your face grew hot with tears and you allowed yourself to be. To simply be.

Bada wasn’t here with you right now but you knew her love was.

Open when you miss me

Gentle rays of sun shine through your curtains. It illuminates your skin as it kisses it with its warmth. You sit up and raise a tired hand, attempting to shield your eyes as a loud and unflattering yawn rolls from the back of your mouth. Your hazy eyes drift towards the empty space beside you. If you stare long enough you can still see the outline of her presence, hear the whispers of her slow words thick with sleep as she would pull you closer by the waist and join her lips to yours - the sweetest of good mornings.

But now those mornings were not a reality but a memory.

Mornings like this weren’t foreign to you. It had been a couple months now and you had grown used to waking up alone. You missed Bada and this was the first time you were both spending months apart from each other. You were caught between sadness and pride. Of course you were sad but at the same time you couldn’t help but admire the achievements of your girlfriend. Bada’s popularity had skyrocketed beyond the heavens themselves and many artists and idols were reaching out to her for collaborations and such alike. You had never seen Bada glow the way she did. Joy seemed to radiate from her and your chest could barely contain the swell of your heart as it pumped in pride for her.

That is why you smiled and swallowed the lump in your throat as Bada said she was leaving behind her favourite sweatshirt, “because I know it’s your favourite too”. It is why you insisted on driving Bada to the airport and it is why the both of you held each other a little tighter that day and allowed your lips to linger a second more. Bada knew you were trying to be brave for her but that wasn’t what she wanted.

“I’ll see you real soon. Four months will fly by.” Bada said as she gently rubbed your cheek with her thumb.

“I know it will. Have the best time won’t you ? I mean, you’re touring with an idol. That's amazing.” Your voice betrayed you as a slight quiver slipped through.

Bada’s gaze saddened. “I’ll try. You know I'll miss you right ?”

A sob threatened to rise from your throat and you tried to swallow it once more.

“I’ll miss - I’ll miss you more . . .” You choked out.

Bada wrapped her arms around you and brought you to her chest, your arms locked around her sides and you swore you would need to be pried away from her. Her head rested comfortably on top of yours and she squeezed you gently.

“I’ve left you something.”

You pull back and look up at her, confusion knitted your brows. “What do you mean you’ve left me something ?”

“It’s under the bed in a shoebox. And no, it's not shoes.” She smiled down at you.

When you got back to your shared apartment you searched under the bed and immediately found the shoebox. You scoff lightly with a small smile, not believing that you didn’t notice it earlier.

You remove the top and your breath catches in your throat.

A library of letters sat in two neat rows, filling the four walls of the box. You gently run your fingers over the edge of them, sneaking glimpses of the words written on the envelopes.

‘Open when you’re sad.’

‘Open when you need reassurance.’

‘Open when you want to punch your annoying coworker.’

You choke out a laugh mixed sob and tears threaten to spill. You wondered how you got so lucky to have someone like Bada in your life.

The morning sun had shifted slightly, its rays now painted your room walls a warm golden. Bada’s words stared back at you on the envelope as you traced the curves of her letters with your finger, following the path of ink as it journeyed into words.

‘Open when you miss me.’

And so you did.

“Hello my princess,

I miss you too. Very much. I know you’ll see me on social media smiling and dancing but just know that I'm always thinking of you. I wish I could be there with you right now, to hold you and kiss you. I’m writing this before I leave but I just know that I’ll miss your kisses. Of course I will. Kissing you feels like home and I’ll miss my home. Even now as I’m writing this I’m wishing that I was kissing you. But they say absence makes the heart grow fonder. My heart will probably explode from the overflow of fondness. However, I want to apologise in advance for how busy I might get. But I promise I will do my best to talk to you. I have no idea what to expect but I imagine there will be days where our communication is sparse. But always remember that I still love you and miss you.

Please take care of your health, make sure to eat your meals and go to sleep on time. I need you to be happy and healthy when I get back.

I love you and I am counting down the days till I see my baby again.

Lots of Love,

Bada.”

Open when you’re happy

The chime of the doorbell danced through the air and you perked up.

Your lips stretched into a smile as you bounced toward the front door, almost running. You were expecting this as it had become a weekly routine and truthfully, you were near enough befriending the delivery man who you were now seeing more frequently than some of your friends.

You swiftly swing open the door and your eager eyes meet the familiar smile of the old man but you couldn’t stop your gaze from jumping to the brightly coloured item that sat in his arms.

“Good afternoon to you.” He greeted warmly.

You smiled and returned his warmth, “Good afternoon to you too.”

He chuckled and outstretched the item toward you and you took it from his hold.

“Today's flowers are pink asters.” The man said with enthusiasm.

“They represent love and sensitivity. They're also the emblem of Venus - the goddess of love. Your girlfriend is putting all of us to shame.” The man chuckles and you watch as his crows feet deepen. You remember the way he praised Bada, saying that he has never seen such heartfelt dedication from a person.

Bada had scheduled flower deliveries each Monday because she knew that you loved flowers and also because she knew that you loathed Mondays - the man was slightly speechless. He called it young love and made a comment about how some people go through their entire lives unable to find love and that if you find it with someone - anyone - then that's a blessing you should cherish.

And you truly did. You now sit in front of the vase of flowers and you admire its beauty. If the stars themselves fell to the earth and sprouted seed this is what the result would be - vibrant hues and an explosion of petals. They were truly beautiful and your heart pulsed with love for Bada. She was your happiness.

Your gaze shifted back to the opened letter on the side and you read it once more.

“Hi baby :) Happiness looks beautiful on you.

You’re always beautiful but I love the way you gleam and radiate when you’re happy. I especially love your smile. I feel like everytime you smile a fairy is born. I hope to one day meet one of your many fairies.

But I digress, I’m happy that you’re happy. I wish I could see you and be happy right there with you. But feel free to send me pictures of your smile (many of them) and tell me in detail about what made you happy ! You know I'd love to hear all about it. I hope you continue smiling and I know that there are more happy days ahead for you. There definitely will be - you are an attractor of everything pure and joyful (and of me).

I love you lots my angel,

Bada.”

Open when you’re in the mood

You remember when you first saw those words on the envelope. You remember scoffing at your girlfriend, not taking it seriously. She was oceans apart from you, there’s not really much that she could do when you were feeling needy and missing her touches.

You thought wrong.

You also remember the way your brows twitched in curiosity and how you felt a subtle rise of intrigue within you at the two words written on the paper.

“Ring me.”

Though you never thought that you would find yourself in this position. The position being your legs spread apart, your two fingers stretching out your dripping cunt and Bada - on speaker phone listening to the entire thing.

“Keep touching yourself for me, princess.” Bada breathed through the phone. She had been instructing you on what to do, how fast and how slow, ordering you to not hold back your moans because she ‘wants to hear your pretty sounds’.

“Add a third finger.”

You’re not sure if its because of her words or because of how fucked out you were but you nearly come right then. You let out a shaky breath and slide your free hand down in between your legs, you spread yourself a little more, giving your third finger room to enter. The dull sting mixes with the sensitivity and pleasure and you hesitate.

“It only feels good when you do it.” You whine as you slowly push further, your tight hole sucking your fingers in.

“Imagine that those are my fingers. You like it when I finger fuck you, don’t you ? The way you cry out my name and grip onto me as I pound your hole.”

You grew wetter at Bada’s words.

Your fingers slide in and you begin thrusting in and out. A thin layer of sweat glistened your skin as you lay half naked on the bed with your eyes fluttering up at the ceiling. You did as Bada said. You shut your eyes and imagined that your girlfriend was there - above you with her slender fingers stroking your pussy walls. You imagined her kissing the side of your neck as she usually did, and then slowly making her way down to your chest. You imagined her taking your hardened nipple into her warm mouth, her tongue sliding against it as she licked and tasted your tits. Her free hand would then join, playing with your other mound of flesh as her mouth busied itself with the other. She would start off by teasing your nipple by ghosting over it with her thumb. She would then gently tug at it before rolling it between her fingers. You imagined her hushed words, saying something about how beautiful you were and about how good you were being for her before she would mercilessly thrust her three fingers into your cunt, her thumb teasingly brushing over your swollen clit ever so often.

The tightening of the knot in your stomach pulls you out of your fantasy and a loud moan falls from your lips. Your breaths pick up speed and a chorus of whines and whimpers flow from you as you begin to chase your climax. Your back arches and your fingers move faster, curling up as they rub against the top of your walls.

“Fuck - Fuck, Bada.” You cry out as you feel your legs begin to shake.

Bada lets out a breathless curse and you hear shuffling in the background and then a door shut.

“You coming, princess ? I wanna hear you moan my name.”

You nod your head, forgetting that she can't see you, coherent words fail to leave your mouth. Your body tenses and your walls contract around your fingers. Pleasure rushes through you and for a moment you swear you see stars. Your body trembles and your legs shake as cries and moans for your girlfriend fall from your tongue.

“You’re so hot. Fuck. I wanna see you, princess.” Bada says, voice dripping with want.

You lay breathless, fingers still nested in your aching hole as you slowly guide yourself down from your high with slow thrusts. “But you’re not - you're not in your hotel room.” You breathe out.

“I’m farther away from everyone now.” Bada said as she reassured you. “ I’m in an empty room. It's okay baby . . . Plus, this makes it hotter.”

You let out a light breathy laugh, “You’re such an exhibitionist.”

Bada chuckles, “So are you. Now let me see you, princess.”

You reach for your phone and accept the video call request. Bada emerges onto your screen and your heart flutters. You smile and bite your lip slightly. She was wearing her glasses and you had always had a thing for her in her specs. You gazed at her and the lazy smirk that sat on her pink lips.

“Hi baby.”

“Hey princess.”

Your cheeks grew warm and you looked away for a moment.

“Now don’t get shy on me. We’re just getting started.” Bada says with a slight raise of her brow.

“Prop your phone up against something. I wanna see you properly.”

You obeyed and you positioned your phone on top of the bedside table, angling it toward you as you sat with your knees together on the bed.

Bada drank in the sight of you, she licked her lips and you saw her gaze deepen.

“Fuck, you’re wearing my shirt. You fingered yourself in my clothes ?” Bada said as she leaned into the camera slightly. “You’re so dirty aren't you princess, such a slut for me.”

You nod and fiddle with your fingers in your lap. Your body burned with both desire and slight humiliation.

“Go and get my strap.”

Your breath caught and your eyes widened. “What ?” You say, unsure of if you were now experiencing auditory hallucinations.

“I want you to fuck yourself with my strap. Go get it.” Bada stated coolly.

You now found yourself in another position. That position being your legs spread apart, once again, but now with Bada’s thick strap rubbing against your pussy lips, your wetness coating its length. And Bada sat watching through the camera as she once again instructed you on how she wanted you to touch yourself.

Bada stared at you hungrily with pupils blown.

“Keep rubbing your clit with it. Just like that princess. Don’t stop until you’re dripping and desperate, just how I like you.”

Your mouth hung open as you sang soft moans. You guided Bada’s strap against your clit, now swollen, as you rubbed yourself along the length of it in desperate motions.

“Bada - Bada, fuck.” You whine. “I’m close - gonna come . . .”

Bada’s smirk stretches. “Stop.”

Your eyes snap to the screen and you blink furiously. “Pleas-”

“I said stop, princess. Be a good girl for me, hm ?”

You reluctantly come to a stop, your hips slow its pace and you remove the strap from in between your legs.

“As much as I love seeing you touch yourself in my clothes, I want to see your pretty tits. Take your shirt off.”

You do as she says and pull the shirt over your head, your chest now on full display to Bada’s eager eyes.

Bada lets out a breathless curse as her eyes roam your body. “You’re heavenly.”

Your heart flutters at your girlfriend's words.

“Now spread your legs for me and fuck yourself with my strap.”

You moved closer to the camera and positioned yourself in front of Bada’s waiting gaze. You leaned back on one arm and parted your legs, your aching cunt now on show. You guided her strap along your pussy lips coating it with your juices. You hum slightly and a whimper leaves your lips as you gently push in the tip of the strap.

Your eyes flicker back to the screen and you swear you've never seen Bada’s gaze as intense as it was.

“Just like that. Stretch yourself out good for me.”

You sink onto Bada’s strap and your cunt clenches around it. You begin slow motions of gentle thrusting and then throw your head back as you feel the tip hit a particular spot within you walls - cries falling from your lips.

“Fuck. I wish I was there, baby. Gonna fuck you into the mattress when I get back.”

And you knew that was a promise she intended to keep.

Open when we fight

It had been nearly a week since your last proper conversation with Bada. You were both busy and had been adjusting to the constant changes of time zone differences. It was becoming a little draining for the both of you but the daily little check ups and good morning and night messages cushioned the pain. It was the little things that kept you going all this time but you were beginning to crave a little more attention from your girlfriend.

Bada, on the other hand, was becoming stressed. Rehearsals were tough and the jetlag exhausted her. Simultaneously, Bada was also worried about you. She was aware that the communication between the both of you had dwindled recently and she knew you did your best to work with her schedule but she also knew that deep down you were hurting because of it. Bada was beginning to feel inadequate and she carried the blame.

That is why she regretted it as intensely as she did when those harsh words flew from her mouth that one evening.

“You’re suffocating me. You know how busy I am and honestly right now I need some space.”

Bada’s words were like ice to your ears and you felt the frost of her tone bite and sting you. You shivered, slightly taken aback by her words.

“Oh . . . Okay then. No worries, see you.”

You hang up the phone.

You stared into space for a moment. Numbness spreading over you as you swallow your sorrow.

Your phone vibrates and you force your heavy eyes to look over to it. You see Bada’s contact flash on your screen. You scoff and deny the call before putting your phone on do not disturb.

The moon peers at you through your window and you only hope that she’s gazing at you with empathy. She too was worlds apart from her lover, unable to meet. Tears brim in your eyes and you blink them away.

The sun rises and you soon follow. You turn on your phone and then turn off do not disturb only to find countless missed calls and messages from Bada pleading for your forgiveness. Your heart pangs and you decide to respond.

“I just woke up. Went to bed early last night.” You type and hit send before tossing your phone onto the bed.

You were still a little sad. You felt dejected and you felt unwanted. Perhaps you were a little pushy, but all you wanted was to speak to your girlfriend. You sigh as you stare into the mirror at your deflated reflection. A small box under your bed then catches your attention and you find yourself kneeling to pick it up.

Bada’s letters.

You had gone though nearly half of them by now but you had yet to open this particular one.

“I’m sorry.

I don’t know what we fought about but that doesn’t matter because I apologise for making you upset. I would never intentionally hurt you but sometimes I can be a dummy and I make mistakes. So I'm sorry baby. I hate seeing you upset or angry and especially if I'm the cause. I want to thank you for still staying with me all this time regardless. Everyday I'm still learning and growing and everyday I'm thankful that I get to do that by your side. We are two imperfect people but we make a perfect pair if you ask me. I know sometimes you also make mistakes but I forgive you. I will always forgive you. When we fight we showcase our room for growth as a couple and as individuals. We disagree sometimes but that is normal. There’s nothing wrong with you and nothing wrong with us. I still love you baby. I always will.

Lots of love,

Bada.”

Just as you finish reading your phone vibrates and you look to see Bada's name on the screen.

“Good morning baby. I’m sorry about last night. You’re not suffocating. I'm just really stressed right now but I promise it’s not because of you. It will never be you.” Her message read.

Your lips pouted slightly and you typed back, “I'm sorry too. I know I can be extra clingy sometimes. But please don’t feel pressured to always respond. Take out time for yourself too, it’s okay. I’ll always be here.”

On the other end Bada let out a small breath of relief and finally allowed her body to relax. She read over your words and her heart yearned for you.

Another message pings through and Bada breaks out in the first genuine smile that week.

“Btw your letter was cute. I’ll always love you too.”

Open when it’s our anniversary

The chime of the doorbell rang through the apartment and your brows twitched in puzzlement. You double checked the day - it wasn’t a Monday - so weren't expecting any deliveries. You also were not expecting any visitors. Regardless, you make your way over to open the door.

Before you stood none other than the delivery man. Who boasted the widest of grins as he held out a wonderful arrangement of flowers toward you.

You stand, mouth slightly agape as you take in the beauty of the blossoms before you. The sweet aromas danced through the air.

Today was your anniversary with Bada and you had both planned to video call later that night. You knew Bada was busy and that she was gearing up for the finale of the tour later that week, so you were grateful that she cleared out a few hours of her schedule to spend with you. But you had not expected anything like this.

“Your girlfriend really outdid herself with this one.” He chuckled as you took the bouquet into your arms, its sheer size competed with the top half of your body. You poke your head around the bouquet and you smile back. “It’s our anniversary. I had no idea she scheduled flowers for today - and flowers this big. I’m so sorry you had to carry this.” You say with a meek laugh.

“Nonsense. It's my pleasure.” The old man waves his hand, swatting away your words. “You have grown to become me and my wife's favourite customers - both you and your girlfriend. We’re honoured that she chose our small flower store and made all those orders. So please, it’s not a problem my dear. I hope to see you both around sometime and feel free to stop by, my wife would love to meet the lovely lady that she picks flowers for.”

Your heart warms and you nod your head, “Of course. I’d love to stop by. But I'll see you on Monday won’t I ?”

The man shakes his head, “This is my last delivery dear.”

You frown slightly and you feel your mood dampen. “But why ?”

“Because I’m back.”

That voice.

You step out into the hallway and your head spins to the direction it came from.

Bada Lee.

Bada walked toward you. Your eyes scanned her tall frame, her oversized shirt that draped around her body, her grey baggy sweatpants that hung from her hips and her wide and comforting smile that plastered her face.

That was your girlfriend. And she was home.

You ran towards her and she met you halfway, scooping you and the large bouquet into her arms before spinning you around. You laugh and you cry. Trails of tears fall as happiness overtakes you.

“You’re back ?!” You exclaim as you hastily wipe your face.

Bada gazes down at you with the fondest of eyes. “For now, yes. Happy anniversary baby.”

She leans down to gently press her lips to yours.

The old man chuckles in delight, “Congratulations to the both of you. I expect to see you both at my shop very soon.”

You and Bada grin and you wish him well after agreeing to pay him and his wife a visit.

Your head remains in a daze and you squint your eyes at Bada, unsure of if you were now experiencing visual hallucinations.

Bada laughs as she puts down her suitcase, “What ?”

You fold your arms, “You’re really here ?”

“I am.”

“You said next week.”

“I might have told a little white lie . . .”

You whine and gently smack her arm causing her to laugh even more.

“And all those flowers you’ve been sending . . . and the letters ?” You pout slightly. “I don’t deserve you.”

Bada steps closer and takes your chin between her thumb and index. “You deserve everything and more. There was no way I wasn’t going to see you on our two year anniversary. I planned to be here from the very start.”

You look up at her and you hold her gaze. “You did ?”

Bada hums. “I did. However, I'll be catching a flight back tomorrow but by the end of the week I'll be home for good.”

You nod your head in understanding and Bada smiles down at you before leaning in to bridge the gap between your lips. Your arms rest around her shoulders and hers on your waist, her grip firm as she gently caresses your skin with her thumb. You part your lips and tilt your head, Bada hums against your mouth before slipping her tongue through your lips - deepening the kiss.

Moments pass and you are forced to come up for air. Bada then rests her forehead against yours.

“You read today's letter yet ?” She mutters softly.

You gently shake your head, “Not yet. I was about to but then the doorbell rang.”

Bada smiled and took your hand into hers.

“Perfect.”

Bada now sat beside you on the bed with the letter in hand.

She began to read.

“To my princess, my baby, my best friend and to the love of my life,

Happy Second Anniversary <3

Happy 730 days of us and of our love. These 730 days are just the beginning because I know that we have a lifetime ahead of us. Thank you for staying with me, for being with me despite my shortcomings. Thank you for being my best friend, my confidant and thank you for loving me back.

You truly are an angel walking this earth and I sometimes wonder if heaven misses you. I’m prepared to put up a fight because now that I have you - not even Zeus himself could pry me away from you. Nothing on earth nor in the heavens above could taint the love that I have for you. Know that my heart belongs to you and that I am ready to cross whatever seas that may lie between us.

I’ll see you soon my love.

Bada.”

You were at a loss for words and watched as Bada neatly folded the letter and placed it back into its envelope. She then looked at you and gently took your hand intertwining your fingers.

“I love you so much.” You whisper, afraid that your voice would fail you.

“I love you more my princess.” Bada pulled you closer and then set you on her lap.

You gaze down at her and she peers up at you, her fingers ghost over your thigh, tracing lazy shapes over the fabric covering your skin. Sparks of electricity shoot through you and you lick your lips slightly. Bada’s gaze intensifies. Her hands now slowly creep up your shirt, your warm skin under her fingertips.

“I’ve missed you.” You breathe out, gravity pulling you in.

“I’ve missed you too.” Bada’s hands lingered as they explored the familiar territory that was your curves.

You shudder and your breath picks up.

“Wanna show me how much ?” You say softly.

Bada’s lips stretched into a slight smirk but her eyes overflowed with love.

“Of course baby. I’m gonna take my time with you . . . Missed you so much.”

Bada kept her promise and she took her time with you, exploring the work of art that she swore had no price.

Your body, your soul - you.

Author’s note / Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed <3 Feel free to send me requests of letters that you’d like to see Bada write . . . Totally down to do more of those :3

Tag list / @princhii , @lil-elliesgf , @wiselight , @nimxie , [Open]

[ghost-proofbaby]

EARLY MORNING (a barista!eddie x barista!reader au)

summary: new routines are formed between you and eddie, and a code-word is formed for the bad days.

warnings: fem!reader (use of she/her pronouns), mentions of financial struggles, mentions of weed, eddie is just having a rough time (just like me fr)

wc: 2k+

the full menu

Eddie doesn’t process he’s not the only one in the parking lot until your palm is smacking against his window.

He had been too wrapped up in his music he currently has blaring, the heavy bass and guitar riffs of For Whom The Bell Tolls shaking his van’s foundation as he let his eyes close for just a second. He wasn’t sleeping — he wishes he was sleeping. It was early, still four something in the morning, and he had hardly slept at all the night before. 

That slap of your hand against glass startles him, breaking whatever trance he had put himself under.

“Jesus Christ,” he mutters, blinking drearily as he rolls the window down and reaches to turn down the music, glaring at the image of you standing there with your arms crossed like a mother rearing up for a scolding, “Can’t a man have some relaxing alone time with Metallica before he slaves away for the siren?” 

Your demeanor cracks a bit, corners of your lips twitching to expose your amusement. You’d taught him that ridiculous joke — slaving away to the siren. That sly grin you were currently biting down on is the same one you wore when he’d been scolded for saying it in front of management.

“Dude, I could hear your music from across the parking lot. There’s nothing relaxing about it.”

Dude. He pretends like he won’t overthink that term, tries to focus on the endearment behind it rather than the sinking feeling in his gut. It’s hard to do that when you look so damn pretty, though. Bare faced, hair messily styled for the shift ahead of you two, those staple black jeans that always drags his jaw along the floors. 

“Shut up,” he doesn’t even have to ask, already leaning over to unlock his passenger door before you’ve started the journey around the front of the van. It’s a normal routine at this point for the two of you to sit in either his van or your Jeep together before opening. Enjoying a moment of silence with each other before you spend the next five hours and some change navigating the chaos that is the morning rush. Once you’re planted in the seat beside him, door securely shut and a shit-eating grin you don’t try to hide, he finally continues, “It’s relaxing to me. Not all of us start our day with that Taylor Swift shit.” 

Your grin widens, and so does the cavern in his heart that strangely resembles the shape of you, “You secretly love that Taylor Swift shit, don’t lie.” 

And you’re right. Of course you’re right, but for all the wrong reasons.

He loves it because you love it.

“I believe company policy is we can lie until we’ve had our first shot of espresso,” he grumbles, still trying to act unimpressed as he crosses his arms and shuffles deeper into his seat. He pinches his eyes back shut, this time just to avoid staring at you.

His mind and heart alike can’t take the way you look in the lavender dusk that still lingers in the parking lot, the soft light filtering through his van’s windshield. 

Metallica continues to play in the background, much lower than it was previously to your arrival. He’s content to sit here, the sweetness of your perfume hanging heavy in the air and just knowing your presence exists beside him now. To hear your breathing if he focuses hard enough. To listen for if you begin to pilfer through his glove box, to listen if you begin to tap along to any melodies on your knees. Small things. Things you don’t think about, and things that occupy his mind in a suffocating fashion. They have for the last several months now; you’ve managed to occupy his mind quite consistently, even on his days off. If he’s given a day of leisure, all he can do is consider what you’re doing. If he’s scheduled a shift without you, all he does is compare the other baristas to you. It’s poisonous. It spells out trouble. 

But in this moment, it more so whispers comfort. He knows there’s nearly thirty minutes until the key holder for the morning will arrive, and he lets himself lean into it. For the first time in nearly twenty four hours, sleep and rest alike are gunning for him with ease.

He’s got one foot in the door of falling asleep when you break the silence, “Hey, can I ask you something?” 

“You just di-“ 

“Shut up,” you huff, and he cracks open an eye, “I just… Okay, you can tell me to fuck off if you want.”

That catches his attention. Both eyes are wide open now, boring into yours. 

“Well?” he hums. You’re nervous. And it’s cute, and it’s normal. These moments are always quiet between the two of you. He hardly even remembers how this first became the normal routine for you two, but he’s grateful. He looks forward to it so much that his mind has spent the last two weeks trying to formulate ways to extend the tradition to after your shifts together to finally solidify that offer of friendship he’d accepted so long ago, “Don’t just leave me hanging in anticipation, babe.” 

The nickname rolls off his tongue with no effort. It’s different — with other coworkers, with customers, with everyone. He hasn’t picked up the habit of dropping nicknames with these strangers, but he has with you.

You, who has coined him as dude. Again, he tries to not overthink it.

“Have you not been sleeping well?” you blurt out, starting to fidget with the edge of your shirt and not looking up at him, “I just- I’ve noticed you’ve been more tired this last week, and I get it — we’re all always tired in the morning. I mean, it’s early as fuck. But I just noticed you’ve been more quiet and you’ve got these bags under your eyes and you’ve been sneaking more cold brew shots and-“ 

You don’t take a single breath as you rattle off your list of observations, seemingly petrified to reveal to Eddie that you see him. You notice him. 

It’s an unfamiliar feeling; to know someone has a watchful eye on you and, furthermore, cares about the changes they pick up on. 

Eddie doesn’t think he’s ever experienced it before. Or the warmth that floods his chest.

“Oh, hey,” he finally sits up. Your mouth is still moving, ready to continue on, “Hey, sweetheart.”

His hand reaches out and lands on your knee. It effectively leaves both of you speechless. 

“I…” How does he tell you? How can he best reveal the truth? 

I am tired. I’m not sleeping well. Bills are piling up and life is kind of shitty right now, and nothing really makes sense. Except you. You make sense, by some odd chance. You make it better.

“I’ve just had a lot of trouble sleeping recently. Don’t worry about me so much,” he settles on instead, the only words not too heavy to force out of his mouth. 

His hand is still on your knee. 

And suddenly, your hand comes down over his hand, palm a few degrees cooler than his own knuckles. 

“I’m sorry,” you say, “That… that doesn’t help, but it sucks and I’m sorry. And if I can help in any way… just say the word.”

The word — what is the word? He wishes he knew it. He’d blurt it out in a heartbeat. 

His hand squeezes your knee, and in sync, your fingers return the gesture to the top of his hand. 

It’d just been a lot, recently. He’s tried to take some of the burden off of Wayne at home, he’d been looking into taking night classes at the community college back in Hawkins, he’d been considering a second job to help claw their way out of the current sea of debt they were drowning in. He was always in his head, he was having nightmares when he’d try to get to bed at a decent time. Panic attacks were occurring that even the weed couldn’t take the edge off. Questions of his future, questions of his worthiness of the people in his life — they’d all started to haunt the quiet corners of his room in the middle of the night. 

But they didn’t haunt these roads, this parking lot, this time spent with you. You’d enter his line of sight, and it all just shuts off.

“Is everything okay at home?” you gently press at his silence, eyes flickering up at him for only a moment before a finger mindlessly traces over one of his rings. 

No. “It’s… fine.” 

Last night, he’d nearly put a hole in the wall before he’d settled to curling into the center of his mattress until his knees and chest were familiar companions. Until the tears he’d tried to ignore turned into silent sobs and he’d eventually cried himself to sleep a mere hour before he needed to be awake again for work. 

“Just say the word,” you repeat yourself. He wants you to look at him again; it’s easier to breathe with your eyes on his, “Say the word, and… Fuck, I don’t know. We can both call out, just take a nap in the back of your shitty van.” 

And oh, he smiles at that. The thought of the two of you in the back of his shitty van, as you had so lovingly called it. He thinks if you two did that, he might just sleep well for the first time in weeks.

“We’re already here,” he shrugs and finally lifts his hand, patting at your jeans before he entirely retracts his touch. He tries to not ponder on the falter of your own hand, the way you had hesitated in letting him pull away, “But, for future reference, what is the word?” 

“Huh?”

“The word. What’s our code word for… just saying fuck it and taking a day for ourselves,” he explains. 

He hopes he isn’t overstepping a boundary. He hopes you weren’t just being polite.

You smile softly this time, something genuine shining through as you think for a minute before looking at him. This time, your gaze doesn’t falter as you whisper, “Mordor.” 

He can’t help it, he snorts. “Mordor? Have you even read Lord of the Rings?” 

“Nope,” you shake your head, still focused on him, still encouraging the air to enter his lungs finally and not even knowing it, “But I saw your copy on the back desk. Maybe that can be one of our fuck it activities — you read it to me or something. Make me into a nerd.” 

That imagery gets to him. Nearly makes him tear up. You and him, in the back of his van, your head on his chest as he reads his favorite book to you. He nearly screams mordor right then and there. He knows he’s getting ahead of himself, and that’s probably not what you meant, but he wants it. With each passing day that he spends around you, he finds himself wanting things like that more and more. 

You treat him differently than everyone else. You don’t climb into the car of the other openers, you don’t seem to let that painfully polite guard down with everyone else in the same fashion. Even Nicole had noticed it.

“She’s awfully soft for you,” she’d commented one morning as Eddie and her had been left alone as you went to the back to clean dishes before the store was open, “Out of all the people she could’ve gone mushy for, it’s you. Can’t figure out why for the life of me.”

He couldn’t either. But your tenderness you'd extended so easily to him fuels him, makes him yearn for it when you’re not around, makes him think maybe there’s a bigger reason for all of it. Or maybe, that’s just what friends are for.

“Maybe I’ll take you up on your offer one of these days,” Eddie finally muses, leaning his head back and trying to smile with the same type of softness you offer him. Tries to make sure you know it goes both ways. Tries to communicate the fact that one of these days might just come sooner than either of you expect.

Your smile tells him the message is well received.

taglist: @emmaisgonnacry @figmentofquinn @bebe07011 @barbedwirebats @ayooooo0 @neverlearnedcivility @munson-enthusiast @digwhatudug @wow-cam @daddysmodifiedprincess2 @cancankiki @gothmingguk @josephquinnsfreckles @kimmi-kat @thisisktrying @corrcdedcoffin @rip-quizilla @euphoric-rush @eddiemunson95 @kennedy-brooke @mmunson86 @siriuslysmoking @chrissymjstan @live-love-be-unique @chaoticgood-munson @micheledawn1975 @daydreaminglisa @mrsjellymunson @emma77645 @blushingquincy @shadows-echoes @chickennug90 @coley0823 @munson-blurbs @d64d-n0t-sl66p1ng @masochisticlion @hexqueensupreme @capricornrisingsstuff @nix-rose @oeuryale @renaissan-vvitch @corpse-bridex @water-loos @aropodcastfuck @winchester-angel @vivacioussaint @chaussetteblanche @kirisuteg0men @saltmannequin

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[runninriot]

Inspired by the prompt Love is saying "I love you" even when you're scared by @quinns-shadowy-arts for @steddielovemonth day 20

Give and Take

wc: 1737 | rated: t | cw: mentions of drinking and smoking weed | tags: Hurt Feelings (past), Fear of Rejection, Eddie realises he has a crush on Steve, Love Confessions, Friends to Lovers

  

Eddie is just about to leave when Wayne calls after him. Tells him not to stay out too late and to say Hi to Steve. And then he ends how he always does, never lets Eddie go without:

„Love ya, son."

Eddie smiles, gives his uncle an affirming nod before making his way out of the door.

He's heard it so many times now, these words his uncle says so easily, and he wished he could do the same.

It's something Eddie struggles with a lot; telling people he loves them is generally scary as shit.

Because in his experience, to love means to hurt because loving always comes with a price, a piece of your heart you give away with no chance of getting it back.

He’s given away too many of those.

Gave a piece to his mother when he was six. Proudly holding up the card his teacher helped him write for mother’s day. “I love you, mommy” it said on the heart-shaped paper and Eddie smiled, toothless and wide. Got a dead-eyed glare in return when she threw it on top of a pile of unopened letters. Not saying a word, not even acknowledging his extra neat hand-writing or the colourful flowers he’d drawn on the back.

He gave one piece to Jenny in grade 6. The girl with the blue eyes and rosy cheeks who was always so nice to him. One day after school she took his hand and kissed him on the cheek. Eddie felt like flying, told her he liked her a lot, thinking she might feel the same. But Jenny just scrunched her nose, pure disgust written on her face when she told him “Eww, no. It was just a dare.”

He lost a large piece in high school, gave it to Nick. The pretty boy with the seductive smile who dragged him behind the bleachers and stuck his tongue down Eddie’s throat. The kiss was too wet and too sloppy but Eddie thought maybe that’s how it’s supposed to be. Let Nick push him to his knees and willingly opened up wide. Not once, not twice, it went on for a month. And Eddie felt wanted but apparently wanted too much when he asked him to be his boyfriend.

Eddie learned to keep his mouth shut. To keep the remaining pieces to himself.

-🖤-

Steve is already waiting in his car that’s parked outside the Munson’s home, waving happily when he sees Eddie step outside.

They’ve made plans to spend the evening at Lover’s Lake, have a couple of beers and maybe a smoke while watching the sunset.

They do that often, just hanging out together. Enjoying the long summer days and each other’s company.

It’s always nice to spend time with Steve because with him Eddie never has the feeling he needs to tone himself down. Can ramble and rant, can be as loud and impulsive as he naturally is without having to worry about scaring him off. Steve never makes him feel bad about himself, accepts Eddie as he is.

Being with Steve always feels right.

They get along. They’re friends now. And the more time Eddie spends with Steve, the more he understands him, sees him.

He’s vulnerable, like Eddie. Has had his fair share of people misjudging him based on what they see on the outside. Where people assume Eddie is scary and mean, they think of Steve as being strong but dumb. Where they think Eddie’s only interests are metal and nerd games, they think Steve’s life revolves around nothing but sports and girls.

But Eddie knows better. Knows all of Steve’s layers.

Sure, Steve does love his silly ball games (something Eddie will never understand) but he also loves to cook and bake. He hates the taste of ginger and is afraid of moths. He can’t sleep with his back turned to the door and he likes the sound of heavy rain pounding against the window. He hates to read but he loves to listen if someone takes the time to read to him.

Eddie cherishes Steve’s honesty. The way he’s not afraid to ask questions if he doesn’t understand something. The way he’ll tell you, straight forward, when you’re being unreasonable.

Eddie likes the way his eyes sparkle when he’s happy. Likes the way Steve snorts when he laughs really hard. Eddie likes the snappy tone he uses when someone (usually Dustin) gets on his nerves. He likes Steve's fierceness, and his courage, and how much he cares.

Liking Steve is easy because he’s a genuinely nice guy with a big heart who never lets his friends down and always gives so much.

Eddie feels lucky to have him in his life, would give everything to keep him there.

-🖤-

They are lying side by side on a blanket, their minds comfortably buzzed from the joint they shared, while the sun sets over Lover’s Lake, painting their bodies in a dark orange hue. A gentle breeze caresses their exposed skin, just a warm touch of air drifting over their sun warmed bodies.

It’s quiet out here, now that most of the people that came to enjoy a day at the lake have already gone home.

Eddie thoughtlessly turns his head to look at Steve who is lying there with his eyes closed, basking in the tranquillity of the moment. Calm and content, so still and at peace. So different from his usual demeanour – always alert, always a little tense, always ready to step in if someone requires his help.

He's... beautiful like that.

And suddenly it is like something snaps in Eddie's brain.

He can’t tear his eyes away, lets them wander over Steve’s soft features and the expanse of his body. Wonders, foolishly, what Steve’s skin would feel like underneath his fingertips, what it would be like to hold him, maybe even get a taste of his lips.

    Oh no. Oh fuck.

Something in his gut coils and twists, ripples through him like an electric shock wave when the realisation hits.

It was inevitable, really, and maybe deep down he already knew for much longer than he’d ever admit.

It’s a bitter truth to accept but the confession comes easy now that he allows his heart to speak.

He’s in love with Steve.

Can’t have him, clearly. But that’s just how it is. That’s always how it is.

Eddie turns his head back, eyes pinched close in frustration as he tries to breathe through the stinging pain in his chest. His heart pumps so fast it makes him dizzy, makes him feel a little like spinning on a carousel that’s going too fast.

    SHIT! Eddie thinks or did he said it out loud? Because Steve startles beside him and Eddie can feel him ruffling at their shared blanket when he moves.

   “Eddie? What’s wrong?”

Eddie looks back at Steve who’s suddenly so much closer than he was before –  brows pinched together in question, with small worry lines showing on his forehead, his face hovering over Eddie’s.

   “I just realised something,” Eddie answers too honest, doesn’t know where to go from here but he can’t find it in him to lie.

    “Oh,” Steve breathes out, his expression softening as the seconds pass. “Wanna talk about it?”

   “Uh, I- no. I’d rather not.”

The look Steve gives him shouldn’t sent him spiralling even more but goddamn does he look cute with that stupid smirk tugging at his lips.

Eddie wants to bite him, feels a deep red blush take hold of his face. Maybe he can put it off as a sun burn?

   “Who knew that the great Eddie Munson could be so timid?” Steve jokes and okay.

So much for trying to play it cool.

   “I’m not-“ Eddie takes a deep breath, “It’s just something I can’t tell you.”

Steve sits up and without being prompted, Eddie does the same. For a moment they just look at each other.

   “You know you can tell me everything.”

If Eddie didn’t know better, he’d think there’s something like disappointment ringing in Steve’s voice.

   “Yeah, hah, uh- not this, I guess.”

Eddie looks away, can’t hold Steve’s gaze. Nervously he starts to play with the rings on his fingers until a warm hand stops him, causing him to look back up.

   “Try me.” Steve’s voice is soft and Eddie knows he can trust him but-

    No.

He can’t. This isn’t worth losing him over. Eddie knows how this is going to go. He can’t give anymore pieces away.

   “I-“

Only now Eddie realises Steve’s hand is still resting on his own, his thumb gently rubbing circles over the back of it.

Steve has never touched him like this before, so tender it almost doesn’t feel real.

   “I like you a lot, Steve.” The words sputter out before he can even try to hold them back.

Eddie winces, tries to avert his gaze but before he can turn his head to the side there’s a hand on his cheek and a firm press of lips on his mouth and-

Eddie can taste weed, and beer, and the chips they shared. Steve’s breath is hot as he sighs into the kiss, his lips are plush and soft... they’re so fucking soft Eddie feels like sinking right into them.

He allows his eyes to flutter close as he deepens the kiss, wants more of the taste, more of Steve. His hands find their way to Steve’s hips, digging and pulling like he just can’t help himself, needs Steve closer.

They part when their startled laughter breaks the tension as Steve tumbles ungraciously on top of Eddie, looking down at him with glistening eyes.

   “Fuck, Steve.” Eddie feels giddy, breathless.

   “Yeah. Fuck.” Now it is Steve’s turn to blush.

Somehow their lips find their way back to each other, like it’s easy. And maybe it is.

Maybe it is easy because they both want it.

   “Want you, Eddie. Wanted you for so long but I was scared to tell you that I-“ Steve inhales shakily.

Maybe they both feel the same?

   “I love you, Steve.”

This isn’t just a piece. This is his whole heart he holds it out for Steve to take, hoping that this time, he’ll maybe get something in return.

Eddie holds his breath, feels cold sweat running down his spine as he waits for a rejection that never comes.

   “I love you, Eddie.”

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

Dou you still write for fenrys? If you do, can we get some fluff? Everything you wrote about him is absolutely PERFECT!! But ofc, take your time❤️❤️

Hard days

warning: some tog spoilers, loss of a family member, grief.

You had taken shelter in one of the rebuilt cities once Aelin had rightfully claimed her throne. The court was filling up way quicker than expected. The city growing and expanding every day. You had come there with hopes of a better future as well. Full of hope. Full of longing for something better. You had a little shop of your own. Kindly gifted by the queen herself. It wasn't anything big, you just loved sowing. Dresses, tunics, suits you name it. It was an honor to be able to bring your queen's wishes to life.

But it wasn't only the queen who had taken a liking to you. Fenrys had been a regular visitor to your shop. You only knew a couple of things about him. And those too were only from the gossip floating around town. He had a brother. Had. He had been killed by Maeve and he had never truly recovered. Most said that he only walked through the city in his wolf form. Rarely in any of the gatherings as a male. So the white wolf had because quite a regular visitor.

He sat outside for almost all the time. Until it had started snowing and your heart simply couldn't take it any longer. Dropping the fabric and needles you reached for the door. Your heart suddenly started beating fast. In the wolf form, he was huge. No average wild wolf. His head turned to you as you stepped outside. You swallowed quickly. Slightly regret your choice but there was no backing out now.

"It's snowing", you muttered, "You should come inside, the fire is blazing", you nodded towards the fireplace. Fanrys glanced through the window. "I bet wet fur ain't too pleasant either", you giggled slightly. The wolf let out a huff but still got up. Slowly stepping inside. "Is it okay if I close the door, i'll get it open for you the moment you want to go", you said softly, truly to make as little noise as possible. He nodded, continuing to sniff around.

You had continued to talk to him the whole night as you got back to work. Occasionally asking for his opinion on draping and color choices. He responded with blinks nods or growls at times. But you could tell that soon his anxiety eased, his fur getting all fluffy and smooth as he drifted off to sleep. That had been a useful norm for weeks now. Almost every night he was there waiting for the moment the last customer left. You had also started making more food, offering him a pot of his dinner.

Until almost a couple of months down the line when Fenrys hadn't shown up and your anxiety had peaked straight away. You had sat for hours waiting for him but there had been no sign of him coming any time soon. So you did the first thing that came to your mind. "Your grace", you bowed deeply as Aelin opened her cabin door. Dinner sounds falling through the open door. "Yn, what a pleasant surprise", she had smiled, "come in".

But you shook your head, "Have you seen Fenrys, is he here by any chance?". Her face changed instantly as she looked over her shoulder, "No, dear, he doesn't spend time with us that often. Is something wrong?". You swallowed thickly, "He spends nights in my shop but... he didn't show up tonight and I just have this bad feeling", you said, worry lacing your words. A large male with dark features stepped up, "Today marks a year since his brother had been killed, it's better if you leave him alone, girl", the male snarled at you. "Lorcan", another female called out in your defense.

But you only held yourself higher, "I'm telling you that I need to find him. I need to make sure he's okay", your hands twisted into fists, "With or without your help", you said firmly. Lorcan narrowed his eyes at you but something in his eyes had shifted. "Gavriel, you mind", he turned towards the table where a male with long blond hair sat. He simply nodded before getting up, "This won't be pretty", he said in a much calmer tone. "Does it look to you like I care if it's pretty?", you grumbled back.

The woods were dark and maker, you would never step into them on your own. You bad no idea how Gavriel and Lorcan even saw anything. "He might be in a mood", Lorcan warned you. "He's been going through it, our boy", Gavriel added, "But I'm glad that he found a friend in you". You smiled at them your mind still racing. Till your eye fell on a heaving figure. Labored breathing, pained cries. Your steps picked up instantly as you rushed before the two males.

"Fenrys", you called out, pushing through the branches. The wolf only howled in pain. "Fen", you said once more making his head twirl to the side. Fangs out as he gets ready to attack. You stopped instantly and within a beat of a heart two fea soldiers were right in front of you but that only made Fenrys grow more. "Let me", you muttered, stepping from between them. "I got worried", you muttered, "Was waiting for you all night", you said softly, extending your hand towards him. Fenrys's eyes softened as a pained whine left his lips. You simply nodded along, "I know, but you don't have to go through this alone". Almost at the last sound of your words a warm light flashed and a male almost twisted your size and sagged forward. You had reached to catch him your Fenrys as you two sunk to the floor. His hair was all matted and dirty, the scars on his face in desperate need of cleaning and some soothing salve. Yet he was still so beautiful. "Oh, Fenrys", you said softly, guiding his face to your shoulder as you pulled your cloak over him.

The two males had helped you carry him back to your shop, where you had ushered him into a warm bath filled with soothing oil mixtures. Humming to yourself as you carefully detangled his hair section by section. A satisfied growl left the wolf's lips from time to time. "I can give it a little trim, just the tips though", you said after a moment, "Braid it for you as well". Fenrys turned to you slightly, "You should be disgusted by this", his voice was raspy and shaky almost no doubt from the lack of using it. "Nothing about you can be disgusting", you said with a smile, "You are going through a rough period in your life and if I can help even a little, I will", you said firmly, making sure he understood that you truly meant it. "But you've already done so much. You've given me hope", his eyes trailed down and you instantly cupped his cheek, wanting to look him in the eyes, "and I am willing to give you so much more, my white wolf", you leaned in brushing your lips over Fenrys's cheek.

[samiswifey]

Christmas With Her

Paring: Sam Carpenter x Fem!Reader

Warnings: none

Summary: set in the same universe as my Back To You au. It's your first Christmas back in the city and Sam decided to go all out for your short visit back

Getting the news that you were coming back for Christmas Sam quickly decided that she had to make this the best Christmas ever! She knew how important Christmas was to you and you coming back was a big deal that she started putting up decorations to make the apartment a little more festive for your arrival. She knew the Christmas before she left wasn't your best and she has always had it in the back of her mind that she wanted to make that up to you. Now was her chance.

"Sam, don't you think this is too much," Tara motioned to the decorations that covered the house. "She's only here for three days." She said pointedly.

The short time you were here made Sam frown but she covered it back with a smile. "Yes it's only three days but I still want those three days to be the best for her." She said. "Christmas hasn't always been easy for Y/N and I want to make this one the best."

Driving into the city you couldn't help but completely relax at the realization of finally being here. It wasn't a super long drive back but it was long enough for you to be tired and ready for a nap. However this also fueled your excitement for seeing Sam again. Yes you guys call and FaceTime but that's so much different from actually seeing her in person again. She's also the only reason why you're even excited about this holiday and that definitely has to count for something.

Driving for the last few hours you should have been exhausted but the minute you pulled into the parking lot of the familiar apartment complex you felt all the sleep exist your body and you just felt more awake then ever right now.

Stepping out of your car you held a two bags filled with gifts as you made your way up to the door and knocked twice. It wasn't even thirty seconds before the door opens and your pulled into a bear hug by Sam. She said nothing as she repeatedly kissed your face. You giggled but let her continue until she decided to stop on her own.

"Sam stop eating her face and let Y/N come in." Tara teased.

Sam giggled but let you go to walk inside. Your eyes grew wide when you saw how decorated the small apartment was. The decorations were super fancy but they were lovely and they reminded you of home before everything went bad. It was beautiful.

"Oh Sam the apartment looks beautiful! I wish I could have been here to decorate." You said awestruck.

Sam moves next to you and holds your hand. "Hopefully next year we'll be together and then we can decorate together." She said. You smiled at her when she said. "I would absolutely love that."

With this being the first time you guys have seen each other physically in two months you and Sam decided to enjoy each other's company to the fullest. You were both cuddled on the couch with your fingers locked together as you and Sam made small talk on the couch. The conversation wasn't deep but it was meaningful to you. You liked these kinds of conversations because it showed you a more fun side to Sam. She is usually so serious so when you two just got to cuddle and talk about random things you definitely cherished them.

"So what do you do on Christmas morning? Like what's your perfect day?" Sam asked.

You smiled as you thought about it. "We wake up early to make breakfast and we eat together while watching those cheesy Christmas movies," you laughed. "Then we open gifts! All while singing Christmas songs - you'll hate it at first but you'll soon find yourself loving it because you're having so much. Then we eat dinner together and spend the rest of the day just enjoying our time together." You told her. "It would be perfect."

Sam saw the look of excitement in your eyes and she knew that she was about to make this Christmas perfect for you. She, in her mind, still felt like she needs to make it up to you. Like she has to keep fixing what she broke all those years ago. She wants to show you that your relationship is serious to her and that she truly does love you. This relationship is not one sided and she hopes that making this the best Christmas ever can show you that. She has to make tomorrow perfect

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Waking up very early Sam slowly climbed out of bed and tip toed to the kitchen to make sure she had everything she needs to make French toast. She knew it was your favorite when you were kids so she's really hoping that that's still true because she would feel horrible if she got it wrong. That would be a sucky way to start Christmas.

"Sam what are you doing up so early?" Tara asked as she steps into the kitchen.

Sam continued checking ingredients that she had. "Making sure I have everything to make French toast with." She muttered out. Tara was confused by that. "But you hate French toast." She comments. "Why would you want to make it for breakfast?" She asked.

Sam smiled to herself when she thought about you. "Y/N loves it and I want to start Christmas Day with her favorite breakfast. So I really need to make sure I have everything to make it the way she loves." She explains. "It has to be perfect."

Waking up you frowned when you noticed that Sam was not next to you. Sitting up you slowly got out of bed and made your way out of the room. The smell of French toast hit your nose and you smiled as you walked toward the kitchen. You didn't say anything as you watched Sam cook breakfast while singing to herself. You smiled when you remembered that she used to do that back when you were kids. You have always loved Sam's voice and that's something that will never change.

"Baby?"

Sam turns around to smile at you. "Baby I'm so glad you're up! Breakfast will be ready soon." She said. You walked up behind her and gently wrapped your arms around her as you watched her cook. This was something that you used to do a lot before Christina caught you and it forced you to stop showing affection to Sam in public because you didn't want Sam to face her mother's fury again. However now things are different and you can show her all the love and affection you want without being scolded.

"I never asked, but is French toast still your favorite?" Sam asked.

You nodded as you moved to stand next to her. "It's the only good memory I have from my childhood. Us eating French toast together on the weekend. Watching whatever random thing was on TV." You said. Sam laughed "remember when we came across that really bad shark movie! We both wanted to change the channel but it was so ridiculously bad that we kind of got stuck watching it to see how it ended." She said. You laughed loudly at the memory. "Yes! Oh it was so bad that I can't believe it went on to have five sequels!" You exclaimed. Sam shook her head. "They were so bad."

Once breakfast was done you and Sam sat at the table with Tara and the twins there bickering about some new horror movie that had come out. Neither you or Sam really cared for horror movies but you found the conversation interesting considering how heated debates between Tara and Mindy got.

"I don't agree that all B horror movies are bad movies. There are a lot of good ones out there." Tara said.

Mindy scoffs "yeah, like a handful! Most of them are poorly written torture films with little to no plot to keep the film interesting." She argues. This caused them to argue over which movies were actually good and which ones were just had great kills but a terrible story. This conversation was never ending.

The afternoon came fast and you were all sitting around getting ready to open presents. The gifts you got from Tara and the twins were amazing. Yes Mindy gave you joke socks but you absolutely loved them. Chad gave you a coffee maker since yours broke last month and Tara got you three new journals because she knows how much you love to write. The gifts were amazing and you were happy that they loved everything you got them.

Sam sat a little off to the side with one gift in her hand because it was the only one she had to save up for. Her heart was beating fast in her chest as she slowly moves closer to you. "It's not much but I saw it one day when I was out and it reminded me of you so I saved up and was finally able to get it last week." She said quickly. "I really hope you like it."

You smiled as you took her gift and slowly unwrapped it. You gasped when you saw the raindrop diamond that you had when you were younger. Your grandma gave you hers and you absolutely loved it. You wore it everyday until your mom stole it from you and pawned it for money to give to her boyfriend. It was nearly identical to your original one.

"Baby... I love it. It's so beautiful." You said as you leaned in to kiss her. "Thank you."

Sam smiles as she helps you put it on. She was so happy that you liked it because she was extremely worried that you'd hate it, but you didn't and that made her completely relax.

"I hope you guys don't mind but I went all out on getting you guys gifts. I wanted our first Christmas together to be special." You said softly.

Everyone pulled you into a group hug and told you that it would have been perfect no matter what. You being here with them was what was making it special and that had you smiling like a fool at that. It really warmed your heart at how welcoming everyone was. It was amazing.

Spending the last few hours cooking you have never laughed as much in your life as you did today. The last few years you were completely dreading the holiday but this year, spending it with them, had you excited to see what next year bought you.

"Baby do you remember that recipe for that cake you used to love?" Sam asked. "Tara wanted to make it because we have everything here but she just needs the recipe," she adds.

You thought for a moment as you tried to remember everything that your grandma used to put in. It was a fairly simple cake but she did things a certain way and that's what you needed to remember.

"I know everything but she did things a certain way and that's what makes this cake so special." You said as you walked away with Tara behind you.

Sitting on the couch you and Tara looked through one of your notebooks with recipes from your grandma. They were everything you used to love eating that she would make for you. It was bringing back memories of you with your grandma in the kitchen cooking some meal that she thought up. It was always an incredible time when you were with her and just the thoughts alone made you smile.

It made Sam smile at how easily you could make everyone around you happy. It was the thing she loves the most about you because whenever she's been upset you were always there to make her smile and just cheer her up. Even when things fell apart you were there making her laugh and forget for just a moment. She'll never be able to repay you for everything you did for her. She is forever grateful for you.

Sitting around the table there was nothing but happiness and laughter as you and the core four shared stories. Yes some were embarrassing but that's what made them the more fun to share. Dinner was delicious and very well made. Sam kept glancing at you and smiling as she kept your hands locked together.

You could tell that Sam was the most happy she's been in a while and it was an honor to you that you were able to be apart of why she was so happy right now. It made your heart swell to see Sam happy and you would do anything to keep her smiling forever.

With the night winding down you and Sam snuck off to the bedroom for some alone time together. You both sat on her bed as she held another small gift in her hands.

"I wanted to wait until we were alone to give this one to you." She said softly. "It's something that only you and I will know the meaning behind."

You kissed her softly before pulling away to open the gift. Your eyes grew wide when you saw the silver bracelet with your name and Sam's name on it. "Did you recreate our friendship bracelets from when we were kids?" You asked. "Sam that is so sweet!"

You leaned forward and kissed Sam again. This kiss was deeper and much more passionate then the last few you've shared today. Sam could feel the love you were pouring into the kiss and she gave you back the same amount. It was a kiss that told you both everything you needed to know. Your love was real and you both were excited to see where the future takes you. Today was perfect and filled with memories that neither of you could wait to share with your future family. Although Sam was very nervous things turned out way better than she could have hoped for and it filled her heart with happiness to know that your first Christmas with her was absolutely perfect. It was incredible.

[lilystyles]

stuck in the middle with you.

part seven of the no strings attached series by @lilystyles

no strings attached masterlist & main masterlist xxx

authors note the finale, welcome and enjoy! i hope you've liked this series as much as i have enjoyed writing it. i plan to do blurbs of these guys! at ur requests!! follow me to see new one-shots or series coming in future xxxx

brief description y/n is the maid of honour and harry is the best man, what happens when they are forced to share a room? do they reconcile their issues or are they too far gone.

warnings! swearing, sexual themes, alcohol abuse, and ANGST. (10.6k words)

inexperienced!reader x fwb!harry

* * * * *

That night felt like a long time ago now. The memory had a hazy glow of golden light filling it in Y/n’s mind it felt so far away from where she was now. It felt unreachable and dreamlike.

And yet funnily enough Y/n still replayed it in her mind most nights when she couldn’t sleep, it kept her up into the wee hours of the morning, and she wished she could understand. She just wished she understood it. But she still couldn’t, no matter how many times she replayed it she always came to the same conclusion; Harry wasn’t hers and he had never been. All those months really were just a bit of fun to him, a secret fling. She was sure most of his flings were secret, but then again maybe he just didn’t want anyone to know about her. When they weren’t talking and he was off being famous she saw countless paparazzi photos of him looking quite scandalous with many different men and women, and mentions of his new flings, and during university, he had a new person every week whom he’d come into her room to hide from while Y/n went out and made them guilt filled pancakes. Sometimes she’d bump into them around campus and they’d ask after Harry and she’d just give a shrug as if to say, what can you do?

Whenever she started to feel sombre about it all, and lonely without him, she reminded herself of the fact that he was so sick to his stomach embarrassed by the idea of people knowing about them, that he ended things with her just like that. With no consideration or gentleness which was so out of his character when it came to his friends. She had never seen him so callous with someone whom he claimed he was close to. Even if he saw her as just his friend, she didn’t ever take him as that kind of guy. Harry was not a careless person, if anything he cared too much. Thought over and over before speaking.

It had been a month nearly two since that weekend of absolute foggy chaos. Everything was different now. But she could still remember that morning he came to see her crystal clear though, and that memory was grey and bitter now. It was early, and Y/n though hungover had woken up with the sun. Unusual for her, but something other than the Tequila had her feeling nauseous and his name was Harry. She felt something gnawing in her tummy, and it was almost like she could sense something bad was coming. She just really hadn’t expected what did come.

Harry told her he would call her but he hadn’t, which worried her because he always called. He showed up with little warning, Y/n had already rolled herself up in her blanket on the couch planning to spend the day with her face in her toilet. But she heard a knocking at her door just as she’d turned the telly on.

She opened it and was met with Harry’s green eyes, the rims were red from a lack of sleep. His eyes were puffy and he looked about as terrible as she felt, she tried to assume it was just his hangover. His hair was wet and so was his jumper, it must’ve been raining, she hadn’t heard it. He’d been up all night stressed out over thinking while staring at the new series of photos of Y/n kissing his cheek and him looking at her with these love-filled eyes. Not to mention there were so many of his obsessive fans commenting and being hateful towards her, her looks, everything. To Harry she was perfect and he despised what they were saying. He could handle what people said about him, but now that it was Y/n he wanted to cry. He never wanted her to know or read any of the comments. He couldn’t bear it.

Y/n hadn’t checked her Instagram for a few days but if she looked she’d see millions of requests to her Instagram. She wasn’t much of a social media user other than the ones she used for contact with her family.

“Oh, hey.” She said softly, voice all scratchy she looked very ill.

He had this look on his face, and Y/n could tell he had bad news. But she didn’t expect him to say what he said. 

He made them both a cup of tea each and they sat down on her couch but something was shaky and aloof about him. The early morning news played in the background and Y/n felt her head throbbing hard against her skull as she tried hard to focus on him.

“I think it’s for the best if we just stop this.” He said quickly like ripping off a bandaid.

Y/n felt a lump form in her throat and it hurt to swallow.

She blinked. A beat passed and she felt like she couldn’t speak.

“Stop?” Was all she could say, it sounded weak and croaky.

“I-” He was almost speechless. He saw the glaze of tears spreading over her eyes and a wave of guilt spread underneath his skin like wildfire. But he did not back down and backtrack, he just waited for her response. 

He felt guilty, but he knew if they’d gotten even more serious, and he’d told her he loved her and finally told her how he felt that this cloud of trouble that came with being famous would follow her too.

She just nodded at him, biting her lip trying to hold back the tears. They’d risked it, and now they were suffering the consequences. How could they even be friends after something like this? It hadn’t been smart at all! She felt like a fucking idiot. This was her own fault. She should’ve known. Even though Harry is sensitive, even though he is kind, even though he acts like he is hers, she should have known that he did not want to settle down with her. Be with her. He’d had their whole lives to try it on with her, what made her think adding some sex was going to change that?! She felt ridiculous, this was so fucking cliche. She had become that girl. That stupid girl who believed she could change him.

Now she just wished she’d done nothing at all and stayed inexperienced and sad and alone. At least then she didn’t feel this painful weight in her chest like she couldn’t breathe. Like an elephant was sitting on her chest and she had a rock in her throat. She wanted to claw at the skin by her jugular rip it open and dig out the uncomfortable lump.

It hurt terribly to lose him that first time when they’d only been friends. How would she recover from this? It took her months to move on from that. She was a deeply sensitive person, who despite contrary beliefs noticed little things about people and picked up on things others didn’t. She wondered if it was because she had no experience with romantic love and only just these deep-rooted friendships. But it meant losing a friend felt like mourning. She didn’t know if her heart would handle this. She felt embarrassed that she cared so deeply.

But he wasn’t just a boy he was Harry. He was one of her oldest friends. He knew her, he really knew her, better than anyone else. And now she just had to forget him?

Suddenly those nights that were perfect had begun to tarnish with a bitter blackness that she couldn’t stop. She couldn’t talk, she felt like she’d been winded. 

Harry said nothing and watched her, waiting.

She stared at the hands in her lap and her eyes looked like they were a second away from spilling a tear. When his hand reached for hers, she acted like his touch had burned and only then did she look at him. He felt guilt crawl under his skin and he felt like vomiting as a sweat crept up his neck.

“Okay. I understand, it was never meant to be more than once anyway. You can go now, I don’t feel good. I don’t want you to catch this cold.” She said with a flat soft tone, fast like she had something better to do, and like this was very unimportant compared to her other to-do’s.

When he looked for the hurt in her eyes he was met with a harsh cold look he hadn’t expected or ever seen in her eyes.

“Okay, I’ll see you.” 

His hands itched to stroke her cheek but he refrained and instead got up put his coat on and left without another word. When the door shut and she heard his footsteps get quieter Y/n placed her hand on her heart and begged for her lungs to breathe, as a wetness landed on her cheeks and she fell to the floor trying to ground herself. Where had all the air gone? He hadn’t taken that with him too, had he?

He didn’t see her. She didn’t see him. In fact, they’d actively avoided each other since that day. Their friends knew now they’d been together (they had assumed but now knew for sure), the tabloids knew too, and the entire world knew they’d had a steamy fling. But none of them knew why things had ended, and neither did Y/n really. But she wasn’t going to question Harry, especially because that meant speaking to him. She wasn’t sure she’d ever be able to, not without crying or making a fool of herself.

She should’ve known that he had always been carefree when it came to sex and he wasn’t particularly tied down to one place or person he was free. A free spirit, which is probably what helped him be such a good lover, he was attentive and enjoyed making the other person feel good, Y/n was sure the men or women he’d slept with could agree he was good. She wondered if they felt like she did like he was falling in love too.

What made her think she could change him? Why did she let herself get tangled in him, now everything she did was embedded in the memories. It had been nearly six months since New Year's. 

It was Summer now, the cold had vanished and gone with it so had the person who kept her warm. When she met with Daisy to go to the dress fittings for bridesmaids dresses the last person the two girls expected to run into was Harry of all people. He was in one shop over looking for a gift for James and Daisy. Their wedding was in two weeks. He’d been pondering what to get them, they had the most important things already — love, happiness, and great clothes. What do you buy people who have everything they need? They were rich in things that mattered.

Daisy now knew everything that had happened because Y/n told her when she knocked down her door and found Y/n on the floor hidden in mountains of takeaway containers listening to Taylor Swift. She almost wanted to call Miss Taylor herself, after all, she’d written like two albums about Harry. Y/n thought that was rather understandable. He stayed stuck in her brain like honey to her fingers.

Daisy didn’t know what was wrong with Harry and didn’t understand what went wrong. They were perfect for each other, she’d thought so since primary school. She was trying hard to get them to speak, and resolve this. She hated it when they weren’t talking. It just didn’t feel right. She didn’t like it the first time when he got lost in the fame. It was weird seeing them not attached at the hip.

But still, she certainly hadn’t planned to bump into him with Y/n today, who had only just started to leave her flat a few weeks ago, she knew Y/n wasn’t ready. But they had no choice. Y/n had been the one to see him first, well, she unknowingly bumped into a passerby on the crowded street but when the skin against hers basically burnt she whipped her head at the feeling, a slight knowing tingled in her chest and she was met with the green eyes she saw at night, that tormented her daydreams and nightmares too.

Her eyes widened for a moment and Daisy spoke first which Y/n was pathetically thankful for. She thought she must’ve dreaming and in her worst nightmare. She dug her nails into her palm to see if she was awake.

When she felt a piercing pain she knew she was, and she wished the floor would open and swallow her whole never to be seen again.

“Haz? What are you doing here?” Daisy felt like she was interrupting something but knew Y/n needed her help. She was staring at him like he was a ghost, her skin had paled.

He smiled but it didn’t quite meet his eyes when he saw Y/n looking anywhere but at him. The gum on the floor seemed more interesting to her than her old friend Harry.

“Jus’ shopping.” He replied vaguely, as he gestured to the bags in his hands.

Daisy nodded. “Us too. Y/n needs her maid of honour dress, it’s super beautiful, we are on our way to pick it up.”

He smiled. “Oh, nice.”

He noticed the cup in Y/n’s hands. During the summer she loved Matcha it was her summer drink. She especially loved it from this little place around the corner, it was this hole-in-the-wall type of cafe called Lily’s. It’d been somewhere they’d go and study or get some snacks after a long day. It was a place from their years as roommates. When Y/n was particularly down during the summertime Harry would go and buy it for her and bring it home. It always cheered her up. One time this guy Mike stood her up on a date, and Harry bought her a matcha and walked her to her class. On the way they’d run into him walking with another girl and Harry threw his Iced Americano on him.

“Lily’s and shopping? Your favourite.” He said softly trying to laugh, and see her smile like normal, but when she looked at him, it looked like she was in pain. Then suddenly her face was blank. He didn’t know what she was feeling. She felt far from him and unreachable. He’d tried to call her phone but she’d never called back.

“Lily’s isn’t my favourite anymore. They changed their recipe.”

No, they hadn’t. She still loved it there, Y/n just wanted to make it obvious that he didn’t get to act like he knew her. Even though he did, he wasn’t allowed to. Not anymore.

Call her dramatic all you want. But being hurt by her oldest friend wasn’t something she could just brush underneath the carpet and pretend wasn’t there. And why did he have to be famous? If she’d finally forgotten about him for a while then she’d see him on telly, on her socials, on a fucking billboard, hear him on the radio. He was impossible to escape. He even invaded her dreams.

“Shame.”

She shrugged. “Guess I’ll just have to find a new place.”

Harry felt like that was targeted, and resisted the urge to clutch his chest.

There was a pause of the two of them staring at each other and then Harry looked at his watch. “I’ve gotta run. I’ll see you.”

Y/n felt a rush. I’ll see you.

She didn’t see him again until the rehearsal dinner a few weeks later during the peak of Summer heat. Daisy had decided to have her wedding in the countryside, it was beautiful. The hotel all the guests were staying in was this adorable Inn called The Butterfly. The venue was a gorgeous winery. It was perfect. Exactly what Daisy had wanted, cosy, homey, and small. But the winery itself was luxurious and decorated beautifully.

The wedding party was massive though. Full of family and friends. Y/n’s parents were there because they knew Daisy’s and James’ families quite well. Anne and Gemma too. Basically, all of Holmes Chapel was there. It felt like a fucking reunion, Y/n even saw her Kindergarten teacher Miss Prattley. Who happened to be Daisy’s second cousin.

The rehearsal dinner was at this swanky restaurant the winery owned not far from the Inn. It was booked out just for them. It had chandeliers and crisp white tables, crystal glasses for the drinks. Properly fancy, like that restaurant Harry took her to.

Y/n arrived early to the dinner with Penny by taxi. Penny was wearing a clean and elegant-looking suit, it was cream-coloured. Her hair was slicked back and she looked like she was from an eighties music video in the best way possible. She always had a clean, corporate look to her, Y/n said it was because she was a lawyer.

Y/n had gone for a more fitting look at the scenery and weather. She was in a floral sundress that she paired with soft pink heels and gold jewels. She looked beautiful as always. Gentle dewy makeup, and hair styled up. She looked simply adorable and soft.

When the two girls walked up the pebbled driveway they heard a crunch behind them, and there he was. He was in a billowy black button-up and deep brown dress pants. He had some of the buttons undone on his shirt exposing his tattoos, he looked fucking good. Y/n hated him for it. Penny smiled rushing to give him a hug and greeting. Harry had only just arrived today.

Penny rushed ahead of them both at the call of her name from someone (any excuse to get away from that she hated being in the middle). 

Harry and Y/n fell into step silently shoes crunching against the gravel, Y/n tried to slip. And though the tension was horrible, she still had a sense of comfort in Harry’s presence. She didn’t feel the need to talk or scream. He could surely tell by her cold and blunt mannerisms how she felt about the whole thing and how she felt about him. How could he not? He’d released a new album and she hadn’t said anything to him or even bothered to listen. Normally no matter how long it had been she always told him her favourite song and congratulated him. He’d received nothing from her that day.

Had she even listened? She had to know all the songs on that album were about her.

Y/n would like to once again say it wasn’t that he ended things with her, if he didn’t like her anymore that’s fine but it was so sudden. It's how he did it, and why? She was only left to conclude his reason was that he was embarrassed and that annoyed her. What was wrong with her? Was she not cool enough? Not famous enough? Not experienced enough? Not Kendell Jenner or a singer? She thought he liked that Y/n was from the past, but maybe he had changed too much and needed something new and shiny.

But seriously what was so wrong with her he had to run for the hills at the idea of anyone knowing he might’ve slightly liked her — or at the very least found her attractive. What was it? That’s what drove her crazy. 

Why? 

Why? 

WHY?

What drove her even crazier was that he wanted to go back to being old chums from Uni or home. She wasn’t his old friend anymore, she was just someone he had a lot of memories with now. They couldn’t revert back. Especially if he never tells her the truth. They’d have to be these horrible fake strangers.

“You look nice.” He said breaking the silence. The air was humid and thick outside.

And Y/n snapped her head in his direction as they began to walk inside the foyer, the heat had them both glistening in a light sheen of sweat. At least it was nice and cool inside, she found some relief from it. 

His comment was so outrageous to her that she said nothing at all.  

“So I’m getting the silent treatment?” She could feel his eyes on her cheek.

“Until I can think of a reason to talk with you, yeah.” She said clenching the purse in her hand and looking ahead at the room where everyone waiting inside.

“What does that mean?”

She turned her face and suddenly they were almost nose to nose, she hadn’t realised he was so close. “The only reason I’m here is for Daisy and James. My being here believe it or not isn’t to see you. Stop treating me like a hurt puppy. You don’t owe me your pathetic guilt. Just stop.”

He opened his mouth and shut it again.

“I’m not an ex-girlfriend but I’m not just Y/n either. Things are different now. Don’t treat it like something it isn’t. I don’t wish to be around you, and I’m here out of respect for our friends. I’m not going to make this nice weekend about us. Whatever the fuck this little thing is,” She said her hand pointing at the both of them.

He grabbed her arm and she didn’t pull away only looking at him defeated. “Why can’t we go back to the way we were before?” He said desperately.

She yanked her hand away and scoffed at that comment. “We made a mistake, and now we have to deal with it. What about that don’t you under—”

“Guys!!” Called James. “You coming?” He was dressed in blue his long brown hair brushed neater than normal.

Y/n turned and a faux smile returned to her face. “Yeah coming!”

Harry had never been on Y/n’s bad side before and he had to say it was much worse than he expected. He followed behind and Y/n held back from stomping her foot and throwing a tantrum when she saw she was seated beside Harry tonight, maid of honour and best man. For fucks sake.

The food was delicious, Y/n’s wine was great too and after a few, she was feeling more relaxed despite the intense presence to her left watching her the whole night. She started to laugh with others at the table, and when Anne came over to chat Y/n was kind and friendly. 

Clearly, Anne had no idea they were no longer speaking and still assumed they were together. “You two look so nice tonight.”

Y/n smiled. “Aww, thank you, Anne.”

“That is a nice necklace, Darling.” Said Anne looking at Harry’s neck. 

Y/n didn’t look until Harry said “Y/n got it for me, back in Uni.”

She whipped her head to look at his neck. There sat the pedant. She fought the urge to rip it off his neck. 

“Aren’t you just darling?” Said Anne with a smile getting up to go speak to someone, interrupting them. Y/n smiled as Anne stroked her cheek and when she left she relaxed back into her pout. Everyone was chatting to others and Y/n thought no one would notice if she slipped away for some fresh air. 

She walked outside clutching her purse and taking a seat on the concrete steps taking in a deep breath. She pulled out a secret cigarette one in case of emergencies and lit it. She knew it was silly, but she needed a distraction. The nicotine hit her throat and she shut her eyes. She needed a moment to herself.

And as she looked up at the clear night sky and tried to remember constellations she felt her heart rate slow and her skin unprickle. For a moment she felt relief but when she heard the door swing open and heard footsteps that were too familiar she knew she was going to have very little relief at all this weekend, her luck lately was apparently not there at all.

She continued smoking. 

“Can we talk? I don’t feel we finished our conversation earlier.”

Y/n shut her eyes. “There’s nothing to say, H.”

The nickname slipped from her mouth with little thought. She sounded so tired of it all, and Harry noticed by the way her shoulder slumped and her voice drawled out in a slower more rumbling sound.

“You seemed to have plenty ta’ say before. C’mon.”

She opened her eyes when she felt him sit down beside her, his thigh touched hers and she tried to ground herself. 

“I don’t have anything to say. I said it all.”

“You could explain why you’re ignoring me.”

She huffed out a scoff. “Are you joking?”

He caught her eye, and he finally saw some pain in them. Had the champagne gone to his head? He didn’t know why he was bringing it up. But seeing her again he couldn’t stay away. It was impossible, all the work he had done for months, the willpower he had, not to call her, text her, go around to her flat and get on his knees and beg for her to forgive him. That strength and discipline he’d had was flying right out the window the moment he was near her.

“Harry we messed up.”

He frowned hands rubbing against his knees. “Who says?”

“Me.” She turned to him throwing the finished cigarette on the floor and stomping on it. “I can’t even look at you right now, we ruined it. We should’ve- I should’ve known better than to be this stupid and reckless,”

“What was so reckless about it? We were just having fun and it came to a natural end.”

That one stung. It stung deep. So deep it burned. “I’m not like you! We both knew that. We both knew I’m not that kind of girl. I’m not carefree, I’m not sexy, I’m not casual, I’m not half in half out. You knew I wasn’t that girl, why did you make me believe I was?”

He didn’t know what that meant exactly. He didn’t know how to reply.

“I should’ve fucking known. You left me once and I should’ve known you’d do it again. I never know why. You must just get sick of me. A little warning would be nice but don’t worry this won’t happen again. You won’t have to hear from me again.”

“Y/n that’s not true and you know it.” He tried to argue but she was off on a tangent, and he wanted to hear what she said. He wanted to know how she felt. See if he could fix it.

“I’ll see you at these kinds of things and be polite, I’ll be nice to your mum, I’ll smile when you do well with another tour or album, but I won’t be with you. I won’t be something you can come back to when you’re bored of the models and singers and parties. I’ll be a real old friend, who isn’t in touch with you for a real reason. Maybe we will see each other at a Christmas party again, and I’ll smile and wave and we’ll both leave with our boring dates and that will be that, Harry.”

“Y/n, please do-”

“Oh, save it, Harry! you made a fool out of me! I feel fucking pathetic!” She was regretting her last wine, it made her lips loose and her words honest. She started to walk along the front terrace away from him. 

He followed grabbing her arm. “This isn’t the Y/n I know. This isn’t my Y/n.”

Y/n wanted to punch him, but the touch of his hand felt nice and familiar. 

She couldn’t believe he’d been the first boy she had fallen for. 

She couldn’t pinpoint a moment of when exactly she had, but upon reflection maybe it was on the monkey bars during primary school when Y/n lost her first tooth.

She’d fallen down off them after trying to skip to the third bar. Harry quickly jumped down and brushed the tanbark from her face and told her it was okay. He dug around looking for her tooth as she wailed about how she lost it and hugged her when she cried at her bloody hands. 

That night when she wrote to the tooth fairy she said, ‘My friend Harry found it for me so please be extra nice to him when he loses his first tooth he deserves even more money than I do.’ Her Mum still had the letter hidden in a drawer.

Or maybe it was during high school when she got her first period. It had been in the middle of P.E. and she’d leaked right through her skirt and it was obvious what had happened. Harry, who knew from his older sister Gemma, had been the one to go into the girl's bathroom after seeing her crying and talked to her as she refused to come out. He gave her his shorts and went to the school sick bay to find her some pads. 

Or maybe it was when she found Harry in her bed one night with red eyes cuddling her teddy bear, it was a weekend when her parents had left her alone, and Harry was stoned out of his mind speaking nonsense while reaching for her hand. He’d explained he needed a familiar face and that he found comfort in her room. She let him sleep there until the next morning.

Or maybe it was even when he flew her to Paris to see his show back in his One Direction days and they’d snuck champagne in a limo and he kissed her neck in a way that had her feeling so dizzy that she might fall.

Maybe her feelings had bloomed during the nights when he would ride to her house before the others, on his electric green-coloured bike, convincing her to sneak out with the rest of them and he’d bribe her with her favourite lollies and they’d all go sit on the roof of the school.

It could’ve been the night he scooped her into his arms at their school ball and danced with her until her feet gave out when her date had abandoned her.

She simply could not pinpoint when this had happened, but she thinks all along that she’d loved him, and been in love with him since that first day in mothers group when they were babies. 

She just never knew it had been this deeply until he left, again. It hurt everywhere. When she looked at this person in front of her it made no sense how he could be the boy who found her tooth, the boy who danced with her, the boy who kissed her, the boy who held her hand. How was this the same person? This man in front of her was not the person she’d thought.

“Well, the Harry I know would not have done this to me. I don’t understand you.”

“I just trying to pro-“

“Guys! Toast time!” Said Michael. Harry let go of her arm. 

Once again they were interrupted and Y/n wasn’t going to wait for another chance to escape. They went inside and Y/n flattened her hair which she was sure had fluffed up in the wind. Harry stayed close and began to whisper something which Y/n shushed and they walked into the room.

“Y/n! Speech!” Called Penny.

Y/n blushed under the attention. Grabbing her champagne, everyone tapped their glasses with their dessert spoon and soon all eyes were on her. She took a sip and began to think of what to say that wasn’t already in her Maid of Honour speech tomorrow.

“It has been an honour to know Daisy and James since preschool, it means I know all the juicy stuff! Like when he asked her to the school dance with an old boombox from his dad’s shed because Daisy explained she loved that film with John Cusack. In fact, it had actually been my idea, I was there holding him on my shoulders because he wanted to seem taller.” 

Everyone laughed and Y/n locked her eyes on the pair of them sitting together hand in hand.

“But in all seriousness, I have never met two people more perfect for each other. Daisy and James are like butter and bread. They make sense, they are solid, and they are unmovable. To you, it might be Sid and Nancy or Bonnie and Clyde or even Romeo and Juliet, but to me, it’s James and Daisy. They are love, they are what give me hope, and they are two of my very best friends. Congratulations, I am so thankful to be here to celebrate your love for each other. I love you both. Have a good night everyone!”

The night was smoother sailing from then on. It drew to around midnight, Daisy and James had both left earlier to go off and get a good night's sleep and Y/n was helping organise a bit of a cleanup of presents and other decorations she knew Daisy might want as mementos. 

She had thought everyone had left so when she heard the padding of shoes she was surprised and startled all at once. 

“Hi.” Harry slurred. “I know yeh’ don’t want to talk to me, but m’phone’s flat. Can I jus’ use yours ta’ call a taxi?”

Y/n had hired someone from the hotel to drive her back in twenty minutes and had already rung them up earlier to confirm it. “You can ride with me. The car will be here soon. Have some water.”

Even though she was boiling mad with him it didn’t matter, she would always help him. He listened curling up on the floor childishly and sipping some water. Y/n’s movements were slow and he could tell she was tired. 

They’d both made the journey today and had yet to see their rooms. Penny booked the rooms and organised everyone's roommates for the group, neither knew who they were with and hadn’t been to the Inn yet. When the car arrived Y/n realised how drunk Harry was and when he nearly slipped on the concrete steps she reached for him and instinctively he wrapped his arms around her shoulders as she helped him to the car.

She put him in first helping him flop into the spacey backseat and then joined him walking around the other side. As she opened the door his dark brown waves messily parted onto her seat, he was strewn out like a sunbaking lizard. She tried to make him sit up but he whined. His head shifted until it was on her thigh and she’d gotten in all the way. He stopped whining after that and let his head rest there on the silky material of her dress.

“M’ sorry.” He whispered. 

Y/n pretended she didn’t hear him, but let him rest his head. Drunk Harry was stubborn. They arrived quickly so she was thankful for it being close by she was losing her mind, as she helped him inside and walked to the front desk she asked who was under each room. Antsy to get him dropped off and finally have a chance for a moment to herself.

“Last names please?” Asked the lady at the front desk, she looked young, like a teenager, with very little interest in her job. She had a book flipped open on the desk that she had been reading when they came in.

“Styles and L/n.”

She handed them a key. “17.”

Y/n frowned. “Sorry?”

“You two are in the suite upstairs, 17.”

She was going to kill Penny. She huffed a sigh, thanking the girl before she grabbed a firmer hold of Harry’s waist. Her fingers accidentally brushed the bare skin of his hip and the only feeling she felt was regret. Why did they ruin everything? Even if the sex was great, she’d wished she’d never done it. It physically hurt her to be near him. She felt a bruising weight in her chest that ached deeply and burned her throat.

As she helped Harry up the steps she was thankful both of their bags were already in the rooms having been dropped off earlier. She opened the door with the key while balancing Harry against her, and as she slipped inside she thought it looked nice for the next two days and definitely worth the fee they were asking. The room had a balcony that overlooked the little river and garden outside, a nice luxurious ensuite. But overall it looked cosy, with a fireplace which would’ve been nice in winter, no air-con though, and…one bed.

Well fuck, she’d have to call housekeeping tomorrow and ask for them to put two beds in. 

Harry was too drunk to notice right away until Y/n placed him on the bed and helped him get his shoes off. 

“Didn’t know.” He tried to explain big hands resting on thighs, and despite it all, she remembered them on her body.

Y/n sighed and turned when he began to strip himself of his clothes. She grabbed one of the pillows off the bed and moved over to the small couch in front of the TV, she doubted she would be able to sleep. It was stinking hot, and she hadn’t slept much lately. Not to mention she would hardly be able to with him right there.

“Where are y’goin’?” He asked as she began to make a bed on the tiny couch.

Y/n didn’t look at him as she did so. “Couch.”

“Y/n we can share a bed. Don’t be silly.”

Y/n was tired and tipsy and her back hurt from the long train journey here. “Fine.”

It wasn’t like they hadn’t before and she would deal with all of this tomorrow. Anyway, would she rather not sleep on a couch or a comfy-looking bed? She knew her answer.

Harry had chosen to sleep naked, it was very warm in the room, and he curled up on the left side facing the bathroom. Y/n grabbed some small silky pyjamas from her suitcase. It was a thin singlet and shorts that would help her feel as naked as possible in this heat. She walked to the bathroom past Harry and began to wash her face with some cool water and combed her hair smoothing out any tangles, as she opened the door she decided she would plait it back so it didn’t stick to her skin.

Harry’s eyes were shut but she couldn’t tell if he was actually asleep or not. His breathing had slowed to a normal tempo and as she slid into the other side beside him the rumble of his voice startled her. 

“Cute pjs.”

She let out a huffed sigh and slapped her arms against the cool duvet. “Shut up.”

Y/n willed herself to sleep, counting until she got bored, and tried to do some deep breathing, but nothing was working the heat was too much. She felt like she’d been tossing and turning for centuries. Eventually, she kicked the duvet off and sat up, checking the alarm clock beside the bed. It was nearly three. Harry was fast asleep. She got up and walked onto the balcony, sitting down in one of the chairs they had out there as she let the evening breeze hit her. Though it was hot it was cooler outside. She supposed it didn’t help that Harry was like a fucking heater. He ran so hot and even without his arms wrapped around her he still radiated heat like the sun.

She knuckled her eyes pulling her knees up to her chest, resting her chin as she yawned; sleep felt close and far all at once. The breeze made her shut her eyes and she enjoyed the peaceful noise of frogs in the river, and crickets chirping, and let her thoughts melt away. When she opened her eyes she didn’t know if time had passed or not, and did not remember falling asleep.

She wondered what had woken her up, it wasn’t the sun, though the sun did not seem far from her. The sky was at that stage where it was a lighter blue than night, it was just a few minutes before the sun was going to bleed colours into the sky.

It wasn’t an alarm, it wasn’t day yet, and the wind was still gentle and cooling. 

“Wha’ are y’doin’ out here?” When her eyes finally focussed she realised it was Harry who had woken her up. His hand was pressed to her shoulder, and his face looked puffy and confused.

Y/n was too half asleep to get the words out of her mouth. 

“Just come inside.” He grabbed at her wrist pulling her up into his chest. He was still a bit drunk but his skin had begun to pale in sobriety and a deep sadness filled his face that Y/n wondered if was related to her, she hoped he hurt a little bit like she did.

His hand hovered over her waist and pushed her to the bed.

When they began to settle into bed, Y/n felt her limbs sinking into the soft mattress. Harry had turned the fan on higher and they both lay on their backs staring at the white ceiling. Her eyes were shutting on her.

“Can I hold you?” He whispered and she felt like it could’ve been her imagination.

Until he cut himself off he shifted back to look at the roof. “Sorry.”

Y/n didn’t know if it was because she didn’t get closure, because she missed him, or because she was sad, or simply because she slept better with him there, or even because she’d had a few too many but she rolled over and pressed her back into his chest.

“One last time.” She said before shutting her eyes. His arms wrapped around her tightly like he was worried she’d run away like earlier. His fingers danced patterns along her skin and Y/n fell asleep quickly, Harry did too. 

The next morning Harry’s warmth had disappeared and the room was empty. There was no water running he had disappeared and somehow managed to make the bed with her still in it.

Y/n didn’t know whether to be grateful or sad that he had left. She rolled over to the bedside table and saw the time was a few minutes to nine. She sat up scratching her hair and stood up walking to the bathroom she washed her face, put on some moisturiser and sunscreen and slipped into a pair of comfy loose pants and a singlet. She slid into the first pair of shoes she saw and walked off to hunt for some food, mainly just a coffee and something for her throbbing head. She needed an aspirin, now.

The Inn was so quaint it felt like she was in a weird family of hundreds of strangers, it felt like a home, not a hotel. She could smell bacon and followed the scent like a dog in a cartoon. She got herself a plate and a coffee and pinched a muffin too and decided she’d go sit outside. The sun always helped her hangovers.

She opened the door and stepped out onto the porch that wrapped around the whole house full of comfy chairs, rocking ones, swinging ones, padded ones, and benches. She walked down to the edge saw a little padded seat and sat herself down. She enjoyed breakfast, slowly biting and digesting, the wedding was tonight. Starting in the late afternoon. Y/n had a while to prepare herself. She needed to get a lot of things done considering she was the maid of honour.

She needed to make sure both her dress and Daisy’s were ready before tonight. Daisy’s dress was this vintage seventies flowing gown like something Stevie Nicks would wear, they found it in this dead lady's things that were being auctioned off. Y/n originally went because she always found good furniture at those kind of things and was in need of a new coffee table. Daisy just happened to have a free Sunday morning, and by luck they'd found the wedding dress. This lady was cool, with great taste in clothes and coffee tables. Y/n found a panther with a glass table top for her living room. She loved her new edition, it was as eccentric as she'd wanted.

Y/n’s dress was this paled yellow dress, seventies style too. All soft and layered. A floral wrap and some baby pink heels. She was going to do her hair in big rollers and put on some blue eye shadow. She’d found the dress in a vintage shop in Soho and just had to get it. It had this gorgeous white lace trimming and it was the perfect fit for her. How could she pass it up?

When she was up to the final dregs of her coffee she felt someone sit down beside her. 

“Sorry about last night.” That was all he said softly looking down at his feet.

She looked up from her legs. “Yeah, champagne.” She said, shrugging. As if to say 'What can you do?'.

He was in a running getup. He looked sombre at her, hands resting on his thighs hoping they could talk. But Y/n didn't seem interested in talking to him. He wished things could be different. He wanted to say that to her, explain. But without any alcohol or courage, he couldn't find the words.

“Gotta’ run.” She said before he could say anything else and all he could do was watch her retreat away. He let out a big sigh and stood up heading off to find James.

Later that afternoon Y/n saw Harry again. This time he was in a blue suit and they were walking down the aisle together. Their arms were interlocked and Y/n was holding a bouquet of lavender and baby's breath, they both said nothing just walked plastering smiles on their faces for everyone seated watching. Having him close to her again was intoxicating, he smelt all woodsy, and of fresh mint, tobacco, and burnt vanilla. He smelt like Harry, and she'd missed him. She tried not to pay attention to him and just be civil. They moved to their separate sides at the alter faced each other, eyes meeting for a moment.

Y/n honestly looked gorgeous. Like a painting that belonged in a museum.

James looked great too. He was in a white button-down and black flared slacks. His long hair was down in waves and his moustache was neater than usual, he looked excited. His energy rubbed off on everyone else and everyone was getting antsy to celebrate.

Y/n smiled across at James excitedly. Harry was patting his shoulder and the pair of them were giggling about something and it reminded Y/n of assembly during school. Those two always got them all in trouble for chatting during school, devils. When the piano began everyone silenced, it was a cover of 'Dreams' by Fleetwood Mac on the piano. Daisy's Uncle Jay was very talented on the piano and was playing it happily.

The venue was perfect all beautiful flowers and candles lit everywhere, and Daisy’s looked so so so beautiful. She looked so breathtaking that Y/n felt her eyes well up as she watched her best friend walk down the aisle. Daisy’s father Joe was walking alongside her. She was so happy for them.

As the ceremony began no one could keep their eyes off Daisy’s radiance and her dazzling smile.

James' voice was soft and broke as he cried happily. “I have loved you since before I could understand the concept. Thank you for being beautiful, funny, and just my gorgeous girl. I can’t wait to be with you for the rest of my life Daisy, and grow old with you. I am so lucky you want to be my wife."

Harry found his eyes wandering over to Y/n as James' words echoed through the hall. This whole celebration of love was making him awfully upset that he wasn’t with the person he loved today. He wasn’t able to hold her, kiss her, make love to her, make her laugh, make her mad, he wasn’t able to be by her side and pester her with his tickles and teasing. He’d missed Y/n so much, he’d tried getting in touch but knew it would all be a waste she didn't want to talk to him. 

He’d written a whole album about her for Christ's sake, he pined after and missed her more than he thought possible. Of course, he loved her there was no question about it. Selfishly he wanted her back, even if it meant they wouldn’t have privacy with the public. He’d loved her even last night when she’d been so rude and short with him. He wanted to scream it out. I LOVE YOU.

But when their eyes met and she looked at him like he was glass, right through him, he felt invisible and he found himself frowning and trying to focus back on the ceremony. She would never forgive him, would she?

The dinner and reception were hands down the best part of the evening. They’d popped champagne as the sun set and all the group began dancing together joyfully, enjoying mountains upon mountains of delicious food. It was like a Christmas dinner table fit for kings. Chickens, turkeys, fish, salads, lots of crispy potatoes, mashed ones, sweet treats, breads, everything your heart could desire. 

Daisy and James were so happy, giggling together and kissing sloppily as they cut the massive chocolate-layered cake. They stayed together the whole night, holding each other close and chatting away to everyone invited. 

Everyone was dancing and singing together on the dance floor. Y/n was spinning around laughing with Penny and Finn, and her Mum too. She was happy, it was the perfect celebration. Harry kept bumping into old friends, family, and everyone it felt like a reunion and being back to when he was a young teenager at his mum's New Year's parties. He danced too and had quite a few tequilas.

The night was completely wonderful. Full of fun and such a cosy wedding. 

It reminded him an awful lot of the first wedding he ever went to. His Mum's. 

Anne and Robin had announced their engagement a few months prior. It was a beautiful day then too, the second of June, he was nineteen at the time and Y/n was his date to the wedding. They’d come home from Uni for Summer break for a few weeks together, which they would have whether they had the wedding or not. The road trip was to get home but it didn't bother them at all, they just sang together taking turns driving and playing ‘I Spy’. Y/n had been invited on her own by invitation in the mail from Anne, but Harry said they should go together Y/n thought it made sense too.

“Don’t see why you didn’t ask Vanessa.” She said changing in the backseat while Harry covered his eyes with his hands for her privacy and blocked the window from over the car's back facing her. They were on the side of the road changing before the wedding. They’d driven home the morning of and needed to get ready there. They still had a bit of drive before they got there, but Y/n needed to do her hair and makeup in the car.

“Who?” He said. 

Y/n rolled her eyes. “Don’t tell me you don’t know your own girlfriend's name, H.”

He laughed, “Oh yeah, right. That Vanessa.”

Y/n tugged her dress up over her bra and stepped out of the car with the zip undone. “Can you do me up?”

He uncovered his eyes and his hands grazed her bare back, the dress showed a peak of her lacey pink undies. He swallowed thickly and zipped it up. “It's pretty, Love.”

She spun around and laughed at herself. It was very pink, but she thought this was the perfect time to wear it. 

“It’s not too pink?" She asked.

Her dress was this bright fuchsia colour with no straps, it was very 80s. Puffy bottom and it was short too.

He shook his head. “No, no such thing. Y’look beautiful.”

She kissed his cheek in thanks.

They got in the car and Y/n began to roll her hair up into some rollers and do her makeup. If you didn’t know them you’ve assumed they’d been dating for years with how in sync they were, and how comfortable they were around each other.

On the drive there Harry was staring off into the distance of the road. He looked gorgeous today, hair all unruly and dimples on his cheek.

“So why didn’t you invite her? Your girlfriend already hates me. She won’t be happy now.” She said applying a nude lip in the rearview.

“I didn’t want to be with her. I wanted to be with you.” He said looking over like it was the most casual thing to say.

Y/n’s heart swelled and she just looked at him. When they arrived Anne was waiting for them inside the church. Harry grabbed Y/n’s hand to guide her and they walked down the entrance their shoes clacking on the tiles. They found Anne with other members of Harry’s family and she rushed over looking picture-perfect. Kissing both of them on their cheeks in greeting, she'd missed them dearly. 

“You two look gorgeous! So glad you came together. Y/n, Love, your Mum’s inside already she’s antsy to see you both. The ceremony doesn’t start for a few more minutes.”

“Alright, see you out there.” Said Y/n giving her one last hug and Harry did the same whispering something before grabbing her hand once more because it felt natural as they walked into the venue. 

Y/n’s Mum spotted them and instantly waved them over. 

“Baby! Harry!” She called rushing over, she was in a nice floral dress that was blue and looked very dressed up. 

She grabbed them both. “Oh my goodness, the pair of you look just stunning! Harry, when are you going to steal Y/n up before someone else does?” 

Harry just laughed at Y/n's Mum in response knowing how much she tried to play Cupid over the years, Y/n rolled her eyes at her and Y/n’s mother stroked her cheek. “My gorgeous girl.”

After the ceremony the two of them had a few drinks and danced, being few of the only others their age who were actually willing to dance. Harry’s hands were on her waist twirling her about and she fell into his arms giggling. 

She hugged him close before they were both pulled away by relatives. Harry had to go speak with some of his cousins from out of town and Y/n was called over by James' older brother Jimmy about some story she needed to tell someone. 

When Harry finally finished talking to his family he searched the crowd for Y/n but her hot pink dress was nowhere to be spotted. He frowned stepping away from the room.

He went for a wander outside walking through the hallway and stepping outside into the fresh summer air. He spotted her sitting over by the steps that led down to a duck pond.

The gravel crunched underneath his Chelsea boots and she looked over smiling. “Hi, Harry.”

“Sneak away did ya’?”

She nodded. “You know me.”

She had a habit of disappearing at parties. He sat down beside her, their thighs pressing together as he nudged her. She nudged him back. 

“I love you, Babe, you know that?” He said, face crinkled in a smile that was specific just to when he was with her.

She looked over at him, chest aching. “I love you too.” She said softly resting her head on his shoulder he wrapped his arm around her shoulders pulling her close.

“Do you think we will be friends forever?” He asked out of the blue. 

No doubt in her voice, she replied instantly. “You and me, mate, we’re forever.”

The memory made his chest ache and he shut his eyes placing a hand on his heart hoping the sensation would stop soon. But when her laugh echoed from behind him, he knew he was fucked, totally and completely fucked.

As the evening grew later and a blanket of stars and black had swallowed the sky Harry found himself outside walking to a bench to hide away and have a moment to himself, he needed a breather. He’d had a few drinks that had made his knees wobbly as he walked, which is why he felt his brows furrow as he squinted staring ahead. What was that? Was his drunken eyes playing tricks on him? There was a lump that looked like a person lying on the grass. 

“‘Ello?” He called out. 

The lump rolled over and as he stepped closer he realised it was the familiar face of Y/n. His Y/n.

“Oh, Y/n.”

She made a grumble of a noise.

“Wha’ yeh’ doin’ down there?”

“Hiding.” She said.

He looked down at her. “From?”

“You.” She replied.

He sighed heavily. “How many more times am I gonna have ta’ say sorry before you forgive me?”

She sat up. “You give me fucking whiplash, Harry.”

“What? How?”

“First you want me, you're crazy about me. Even if it was just sex, can’t keep your hands off.” She started and Harry could tell she was drunk too, her lips were loose and she was saying anything she thought. 

“I’ve always wanted you.” He said.

She sat up on her knees. “See! You say shit like this, but then you just fucking left.”

He bit his lip looking down at his shoes. “I didn’t want to.”

She stood up. “What are talking about? You're a complete and utter mindfuck. Do you just like seeing me hurt, H?” Her hand fell to her chest like his had earlier. Did it hurt her physically too? To be apart?

He felt his eyes prick with tears and his chest burn with sadness. “‘Course I fucking don’t! I did it to protect you, Y/n.”

“Protect me?! From what, you?!” She raised her voice, hands going into her hair frustratedly pushing her hair back from her face. The air was so hot, crickets chirped in the grass, and she felt mosquitos biting her skin. 

“Don’t you see? Y/n, I’m not right for you. I won’t be able to protect you from them! I can’t do it to you.”

“Them? Who? Do what?” She said feeling her heartbeat speed up at the sight of his eyes watering. Did he actually feel sad about this? She was so fucking confused.

“Be with you…” She felt crushed by his words. “..the world…I can’t stop the hate. Paparazzi or tabloids. I won’t be able to provide you with a normal easy relationship, Y/n. I can’t put you through it. You deserve better. We won’t have any privacy. Surely you’ve seen everything people are saying.”

She sighed, “I don’t care about what people have to say about us, Harry! What do you? You clearly don’t want me, just say it. If you really did, you wouldn’t care what anyone else says. I don’t.”

“How could you even say that? Of course, I do!”

“That’s news to me.” She scoffed. The moonlight lit her face, and though she was acting strong he knew she was very sad.

“I thought you knew.” He said his voice breaking, eyes not once leaving her face.

“Knew what?” She looked at him.

“I love you.”  There it was. Out in the air. For her ears to hear. He'd said it. Not in a casual friend way, not when he was drunk and all lovey-dovey. He'd said it properly.

She stayed silent breathing deeply, staring right at him.

A beat passed. 

“Don’t do that…” She said tears slipping.

“Y/n, I thought you knew! I thought you knew from the minute I laid eyes on you. I thought you knew!” His hands flew out as he spoke with this urgency in his tone. 

How could she not know? He’d only ever had eyes for her. He didn’t care about any other person. He’d have dropped any of them for her no question asked. He could’ve been at his own wedding years from now and left at her call sprinting to wherever she was. He thinks no matter how many years pass he will always feel that way for her. No matter how much she hates him, no matter what. She’s the one with his heart in her hands.

“If I’d have known…” She didn’t finish her sentence trying to process what he was saying.

He stepped forward hands landing on her arms bending close to her face so they were eye to eye. She watched him closely as he desperately spoke. 

“I’ve loved you ever since I’ve known you, I can’t help it, everyone knows. I always thought you did too.”

His hand fell onto her cheek.

“Harry..” She began to cry. He wiped away her tears with his thumb.

“I never wanted you to be hurt. I never wanted any harm to come your way. And I’m so far from perfect, but I fucking love you. More than the entire universe around us. I’d give it all up for you. I would’ve when I was nine and I will when I’m 80. I’ll always love you. And I'm sorry I can't be perfect for you, but it won't change how much I love you.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” She whispered looking up at him. His arms had wrapped around her back pulling her flush against him.

“Because I’m a daft fucking prick.”

And suddenly kissed him. Her lips landed on his hard pulling him down to her by his tie. She pulled away for a second to whisper against his lips. 

“Such a dickhead.” She uttered softly, the rough words sounded endearing, melting from her lips like honey.

“But your dickhead, hopefully.” He replied. 

She just kissed him very hard in response and he scooped her up into his arms, her legs wrapped around him and his wobbly knees buckled, the alcohol providing no help whatsoever, landing them both on the grassy field. Harry's back lying on the grass and Y/n sitting on his lap. 

She giggled. “I love you too by the way.”

“Phew.” He said and she looked down at him rolling her eyes at him. He was looking up at her all besotten.

“Those eyes.” 

“Only get like that for you.”

Then they kissed some more and probably would’ve until sunrise if not for the shout of their names to come inside. They ran through the field hand in hand, stumbling and laughing like idiots in love. Because that’s what they were.

[neteyam-444]

I’ll Make You Feel Better Than He Ever Could

Warnings: Reader cheated on, Cheating reader, wishing death on character, Angst/SMUT, MENTIONS OF SPOILER,

Characters: CheaterNeteyam x Reader/ Aonung x CheaterReader???

Summary: You and Neteyam have been together for about a year. It isn’t until you walk into an empty māori you see him and another metkayina girl groping and making out. You run to your best friend for comfort but it goes further than expected.

•.•.•.

You and Neteyam had been dating for about 1 year after the sullys arrived at your village dealing uturu. You fell in-love with Neteyam at first sight. You along with your childhood best friend Aonung, Rotxo, and Tsireya help the sullys adapt to the way of water along with their swimming and breathing. Those months helping Neteyam, you two couldn’t help but fall in love with eachother. You two would spend much time with eachother, sneak out when everyone is sleeping to spend alone time with eachother. Thus, you two shared your first kiss with eachother along with taking eachothers virginity. It was a special moment for both of you. Feeling eachothers touch and love for eachother. You will never forget that moment.

2 Months have passed and you decided to go for a walk. Neteyam has sort of been different, he has been cutting you off from hanging out as much. His vibe everytime you hang out with him seemed off as if he was bothered to see you. You tried to excuse his actions by all the responsibility he had taken for his siblings along with being the oldest. You were walking thinking until you heard a familiar sound coming from a nearby māori

“mhm…fuck”

Your ears twitched.. that sounded like Neteyam..

“fuck baby hold on”

that was Neteyam.. it was his voice. You felt that horrible sinking feeling in your stomach, you felt yourself turn pale, get sick..

You walked closer to those sounds and listen to the heavy make out section go on.

“N-Neteyam”

you heard the metkayina girl moan. You ripped open the makeshift cover that was covering the way inside. Neteyam and the girl froze. She looked horrified. Neteyam felt instant regret and embarrassment. He pushed the girl away from him. The metkayina girl understood what was happening. She felt utterly disappointed and hurt knowing she was a side and felt horrible for you. She didn’t know Neteyam had a girlfriend and she wished she was never in this position. Her heart broke when you led out the most heart wrecking, painful, sob/moan and tears streaming down your face. Neteyam rushed to you

“DONT FUCKING TOUCH ME”

“I TRUSTED YOU”

“AFTER EVERYTHING WE’VE DONE YOU GO STICKING YOUR TONGUE IN SOME OTHER GIRLS MOUTH”

“I HATE YOU I HATE YOU, I CANT BELIEVE YOU’VE DONE THIS”

Neteyam was hurt, he was instantly apologizing. Holding your hands but you started pushing him and punching him. He ignored the punched and started pleading for forgiveness. You were hysterical, screaming at the top of your lungs many people around were definitely hearing. Neteyam got on his knees and would not let go of you.

“Y/N I’m so so sorry, please, she didn’t mean anything, she was onto me and I don’t know what I was thinking please forgive me”

You felt sick and anger build up inside you. you gripped his hair from his stance.

“You sick fuck, after all those times we spent, after taking my virginity, those times you’ve told me YOU LOVED ME. It was all FAKE. I hate you Neteyam. You broke me and my trust, I will never forgive oh Neteyam. You are DEAD TO ME”

You yanked his hair and he fell into the floor. You wanted sooo bad to kick him. But instead you walked out.. at the doorway you muttered your last words to him

“I wish that bullet killed you”

Neteyams heart broke as you said those words and ran out. He was broken and hurt. He hated himself for his actions. He wished he can go back in time. He hated himself for everything. He just sat there with tears streaming down his face. Defeated but he deserved it.

Aonung was practicing his spear throws by himself until he noticed you running with your hands in your face. Horrible sobs coming from you, he ran in your direction dropping his spear.

He ran to your figure once you dropped on the floor.

“Y/N, what happened?! sshhh it’s alright, Im here”Aonung cradled you in his lap, massage your hair and comforting you in his arms.

“Netey-am… he *choke* he cheated- *sobs* he…” Aonung cut you off no longer wanting you to speak. He understood everything and held you tighter. He wanted to murder Neteyam. Truth is… Aonung has always had a crush on you but when he saw you ha your heart for Neteyam he had no choice but to move on. So for Neteyam to just cheat on you it angered him.

“Y/N Im so sorry, he doesn’t deserve you, it’s going to be okay y/n im right here and i will always be right here with you.” Aonung affirmed his support for you, cradling you and massaging your hair letting you son into his arms. He stroked your hair and let small passionate kisses in your head. Moments had passed and your sobs were becoming shorter. Aonung let you rant and he listend. He was there, his attention was on you.

“Aonung…what is wrong with me.. am i.. am i ugly???”

Aonung was in utter disbelief with your words and was sort of anger with your view of image with yourself?! Of course not you were actually one of the most beautiful metkayina girls in the whole village! You weren’t aware of the amount of times the boys would stare at you, get nervous when you’d talk to them. The boys who would have their ears pointed down when you smiled and giggled. You were genuinely so beautiful. So why in the world did Neteyam cheat on you for?!

Aiming affirmed your were the most beautiful girls he’s ever seen. He cupped your face with both of his hands looking deep into your crystal blue eyes. Aonung has then confessed his long term feelings for you… You were in disbelief. You heart sank. You were happy that Aonung felt this way but felt terrible that he wasn’t your first love.

Aonung first grabbed your hands

~“These hands, are beautiful” he then gives your hand a little peck

~”Your hair, you take your time to decorate your hair with beautiful seashells, and different hairstyles every day” You can’t help but admire that he’s appreciated the time you take with your hair.

~ “your eyes, a beautiful blue, when I look at your eyes I feel as though I am in the ocean. I stare at the ocean at night as it reminds me of how beautiful you & your eyes are when I ever get a glimpse”

You couldn’t help but cry with happy tears. You felt so loved by him. You smile, and you cup his face. And you kiss him. He kisses you back.

“I’m sorry Aonung, I wish I was with you instead of him.” You felt terrible that he wasn’t your first kiss. But aonung confirmed he was okay.

You two were passionately kissing and you two haven’t noticed Neteyam watching the whole thing go down. He was behind a tree watching the love of his life go with her childhood best friend. He wanted to yank Aonung off, he wanted to run to you and apologize, but he couldn’t. He lost you and that is something he has to deal with.

You moaned into the kiss as you started to get more touchy with Aonung. He grips your waist. You start to lay on your back dragging him along on top.

“Are you okay with this y/n, It’s ok if you want to wait” Aonung asked.

“Aonung, I wouldn’t want anything more than to do this with you. But, are you okay with doing this as well?” Aonung consented. He gave you kisses down to your breast and groped the other boob. He sucked on one nipple, he was humping you. Feeling his dick start to grow and your loincloth getting soaked. You guys were letting out soft moans and grunts. He put each of his hands on the ground and got up from your boob. He was humping you harder and more aggressive. You were blushing at the erotic state of Aonung rubbing his dick against your pussy, His muscular body above yours as his face was full of lust. You let out louder moans at the sight plus the pleasure. Aonung then began to untie your loincloth growling at the sight of your soaked pussy out in display.

He began to crawl down until he was face to face with your pussy. He inhaled your scent before licking your slit. You moaned feeling his warm tongue against your pussy. You grip onto his hair that was half up half down. You two didn’t notice Neteyam still watching the show. He was rock hard as well. Eyes glued onto your pleasured state, eyes glossy and puffy from crying. Aonung was sucking on your clit as he pumped his fingers into you.

“Yes, Aonung just like that p-please!” You moaned

Aonung felt pride with making you feel pleasure. He took his two longest fingers and curled them everytime he thrusted into you. Sucking and swirling his tongue around your clit. He was making you feel pure ecstasy. You didn’t feel the pain of your heartbreak anymore. Your thighs squeezing against aonungs head. You felt your orgasm about to erupt.

“Aonung… i’m- fuck- i’m going to! cum!!” you yelled

Aonung moaned in reply as he waited for your juices to spill out. He sucked on your clit harder and he pumped his fingers harder.

“Oh!! f-fuck!!” You arched your back, pulled onto aonungs hair and yelled and your thighs were shaking.

Aonung licked all of your juices up and grunted. He very much enjoyed your taste. He crawled back on top of you untying his loin cloth.

“Are you okay my love” He asked in a soft tone. You smiled at him and nodded.

“Come Ma-Aonung, please, put it inside me” You begged. He then lined up his dick with your pussy and held hands with his other hand with you. Resting his for arm as he slowly entered you. He gave you soft passionate kisses to the side of your head. You were in slight pain as Aonung had a thick girth stretching you out.

Aonung paused as he fully entered you. Seeing if you were showing signs of discomfort. He held you in his arms passionately kissing you. Before slowly pulling back and pushing all the way inside you. You moaned crossing your legs over aonungs waist. You eyes were shut tight. Feeling him enter you and hit that sweet g spot everytime. You gasp as he hit that spot. Eyes rolling back, arching your back. Aonung laughed quietly.

“Is it that good??”Aonung laughed as he went to fucked you faster. Aonung was moaning and growling at the way you tightened around him.

“Agh.. fuuuuck, you feel amazing y/n” Aonung threw his head back as he pounded you.

He took each of your tights and put it over his shoulders and took his dick all the way and rammed inside you deep, fast, and hard, You screamed, you eyes widened and your fingered were digging into Aonungs shoulder. Aonung fucked you in this position like he was never going to get a chance again. You were screaming and moaning at this new position cause ing you to feel him deep inside you. Aonung licked his lips watching your fucked state. He bent over to suck hickeys into your neck.

On the other hand, Neteyam was still watching, slowly rubbing himself and feeling disgusted at the same time. clenching his teeth together. Watching the way Aonung stared at you full of lust and hunger and your pleasured state. The way you squeeze and held him tight. Riding out your second orgasm.

Aonung was all sweaty his muscles clenching each time he trusted.

“Aonung…love.. mmmh! let me .. on top… please” You moaned

Aonung laid on his back with you on top. You put your hands on his chest and started bouncing. He kept his eyes on you… and your beautiful state watching you bounce in his dick. Hoping it wasn’t a dream. It all felt too good to be true. Aonung took your hands and held your hands with fingered crossed with one another. It was pure romantic the way he was showing his love for you.

“Ahhh… my y/n, there is no one …mmh I can see myself with.. oooh, oh my y/n I’m going to make you fuck… feel so much better… than he ever has.” Aonung moaned

Aonung then sat up, hugging you as he pounded into you like a rabbit in heat.

“AAAh!!! Aonung- Slo- Slow down!!” you screamed as he was fucking you at a rapid pace.

“Oh i’m going to cum!!! where??” Aonung moaned.

“Inside!! inside me!!” You screamed holding onto him tighter.

You guys were looking at eachother with tears swelling up. You guys made eye contact before you shared one more kiss before you you guys came into eachother riding out your orgasms. Moaning, grunting, screaming at the pleasure until you guys lay on the ground. Breathing and enjoying eachothers company. After you catch your breath you lay next on aonungs chest as you kiss his cheek passionately while massaging his hair. You guys cuddled and fell asleep moments later.

Neteyam looked at his cum on the tree.. his heart shattered as he watch you and Aonung have sex. He wished he was in Aonungs position once more. He regretted everything, and now he watched his love have sex with someone else all because he decided to have a one night stand. Now he is going to suffer the disappointments from his parents, all the gossip around the village and his once soon to be mate fall inlove with someone else…

[brnesblogposts]

you know who you are

pairing: matty healy x reader

I don’t agree with writing smut about real people so this is all fluff :>

reblogs appreciated if you enjoy :))

The vibration of your phone on your bedside table disturbed your sleep, as you whined and blindly grabbed for it; you were about to press cancel on whoever was calling you until you saw his name.

“Hi.” Suddenly you were chipper as you answered the call. “Hey, darlin’” Matty responded and then an awkward silence ensued until you spoke up again, “Is something up? Why are you ringing me at 3am? You okay?” Concern laced your voice,”I just can’t sleep, sorry I woke you but I was just wondering if you’re coming to the show tomorrow night? Or tonight now I guess” he laughed softly at his joke and you did too. What a dork.

“Yeah I’m in the stands though, by the time I got onto the website all the best tickets were gone, but don’t worry I’m sure you’ll be able to hear me cheering you on! I’ll be the loudest in the room!” You really did wish you managed to get front row tickets, but you’d support him from the stands and probably lose your voice in the process.

“Are you having a laugh? Y/n you’re one of my best friends you don’t need to buy tickets, you’re on the guest list..” There was humour in his voice and you could only imagine his grin, “Well. You’re welcome for the extra money I guess! Have a drink on me” The both of you laughing at your remark, “Sell those tickets alright? I don’t need you spending money on me, I’ll have a car pick you up a couple hours before the show so be ready by about six, yeah?” You nodded before realising he couldn’t see you.. face palm!... “Yes your majesty” you sassed back. “Oh Piss off, my girl deserves V.I.P. Treatment.” The way he said ‘my girl’ had you giddy, you were just very good friends though. Nothing more.

“I’ll let you get back to sleep now, Goodnight Y/n”

“Night, Matty” you replied quietly before putting your phone back on your bedside table and nodding off again.

………………

The next morning

Around seven hours after your sleep was disturbed by Matty you decided it was time to get up, at only 10am there was no rush so you made the most of your day and got some housework done.

Next time you look at your phone it’s about 3 so you decide to start getting ready; hair and makeup done it was now down to the outfit which was the most difficult part of this process. You decided on black trousers, a white dress shirt and your leather jacket. By the time you were done getting ready it was about 5:30 and there was a text waiting for you

‘Can’t wait to see you, been too long X.’

Matty was right, it had been at least a month since you’d seen him because you’d both been so busy with work.

‘See you soon! <33’ was your response. About ten minutes later there was a knock at your door, “Here to pick up Miss y/n?” The man asked, “That’s me! Thank you for this” you were sincere in your words, you really could’ve made your own way there but Matty wouldn’t of had any of it so you didn’t bother arguing when he said he was sending a car.

About 45 minutes later you arrived at the venue and with the flash of his badge your driver continued on until coming to a halt at the back and getting out to open your door. “Thank you so much” You flashed a smile and headed for the entrance, “Band and staff only, please” the brooding guard did not move a single muscle as he barred you from entering. You simply huffed and walked away to make a phone call.

“Hey it’s me” you felt bad asking for help but how else were you gonna get in the building? “Hi, You okay?” was her response and you quickly put her worries to rest “Yeah I’m fine but the security guard won’t let me in, Charli can you sneak out and come get me? I want to surprise the guys and they’re probably busy with soundcheck so I don’t want to distu-“ Charli cut you off before you could finish rambling, “I’ll be there in a second, take a breath!” She laughed before hanging up.

The door swung open to the guards surprise and Charli came running out grabbing you in a tight hug, “Y/n I’ve missed you so much! Way too much testosterone in there” With that you both let out a laugh before turning and taking her hand while she walked you to the green room.

“Guess who I’ve found!” She announced before stepping aside and letting you move forward, a chorus of “Y/N!!” Sounded before you were taken into a crushing hug, the perpetrators beard tickling the side of your face. “Hi Ross!” You squealed as he released you from his arms and before you could breathe the same thing happened with Hann and George, “Don’t break her guys” Charli intervened. There was someone missing, the person you wanted to hug most (no offence to the rest of them, but this one was special) “Where’s Healy?” You inquired. “Havin’ a shit” Ross answered you before you all grimaced, “Tmi” Charli whined but before anyone else could say anything you heard a dramatic gasp from the doorway

You turned around to find a curly headed man staring at you, a smile plastered on his face. Before you knew it he was picking you up and twirling you around as he hugged you “My darling Y/n!” He set you back down on the floor but his hands remained respectfully on your hips, “Hello!” You squealed before hugging him again.

“Did you get over here alright?” He asked with genuine concern and you assured him you did. “I had to go rescue her from outside because the security guard wouldn’t let her in!” Charli interrupted and Matty turned to face you, “Why didn’t you call me, I would’ve rescued the damsel in distress”

“I didn’t want to disturb you if you were practicing and I wanted to surprise you and the guys together, didn’t work anyway ‘cos you weren’t even here”

“I was-“ Before he could finish he was interrupted by Ross “Havin’ a poo!” He laughed. And Matty smacked his arm.

“You look lovely by the way, I wonder who your style inspo’ was for tonight” He raised a brow,“Timotheé Chalamet” You snarked back with a straight face. “Alright, you can go home now.” He stated and turned away but you grabbed his arm and turned him back to you, “I was kidding, obviously! You are my only style inspo’ Matty, promise.” You patted his cheek and went to sit down on one of the sofas.

“Where’s Carly, Hann?” You looked at the man and asked, “She stayed back with the baby who isn’t feeling too well right now” He smiled back “Sending all my love to baby Hann and also to Carly because I miss her.” You frowned and then smiled at Hann. Matty came and squeezed between where you and Ross were sitting on the sofa and earned a glance from his best friend, “What?” He scoffed and lay his chin on your head taking in the smell of your shampoo, “Jealous much” was Ross’s reply and Matty defended himself, “I’m sorry” he exaggerated “that I missed my near and dear friend who I have not seen in over a month!” He rolled his eyes.

“You know the rest of us haven’t seen her either but we aren’t sniffing her hair” Charli spoke back straight faced “Piss off the lot of you” Matty said as he hid in your hair and you just laughed at their antics, you missed this.

About half an hour of just catching up and talking passed, Matty glued to your side the whole time, before the guys needed to head to stage, “Can I just put you in my pocket and take you out there with me?” Matty looked at you with soft eyes and you let out a laugh, “I am on the side of the stage, love. Just look for the dancing lunatic in your peripheral” you smiled at him. With that you wished the guys luck and they headed to state while you and Charli hung back at side stage listening to the thousands of adoring fans screams.

The lights dimmed soon after and then you heard his classic intro

“We are the 1975, the best band to ever exist” The screams increased and they started playing the intro of ‘Somebody to Love’ Charli and you danced and sang along all night, occasionally George would look at Charli from where he was on drums and they’d smile at each other, Matty was way too into the show and you didn’t blame him and it’s not like you were together so you shouldn’t of expected him to do the same.

It was nearing the end of the show and you didn’t know what the next song was gonna be and then the intro to ‘about you’ started. Matty looked right into the camera and mouthed “This is about you, you know who you are, I love you” and then your heart stopped beating because as soon as the lyrics started he locked eyes with you.. “I know a place..” suddenly you felt nervous and a blush creeped up your neck while charli elbowed your side. He turned back to the ground and you let out a breath you didn’t know you had been holding, “He didn’t just-“ was all you managed to get out “He did.” Charli replied and shook your shoulders, she was overjoyed for you because god knows you have talked her ear off about Matty for months now.

The song went on, Matty stealing glances at you every once in awhile, each time making your stomach drop, and then right at the end on the last line he turns 45 degrees and points directly at you not breaking eye contact “Do you think I’ve forgotten about you..” and time stood still for what seemed like years but it was only a short few seconds and then the lights dimmed. For the rest of the set he didn’t glance your way again and you couldn’t really focus. You wanted him to come off of that stage, you had so many questions.

“Just before the guys’ set ended you and Charli headed back to the green room because she could see you were anywhere else but watching the show.

“You alright? Before he gets back talk to me” She sat with you on the sofa “I’m just so confused? It caught me off guard that’s all, I don’t really have any words right now, still very much processing” you laughed lightly but inside you were screaming. “Just take some deep breathes” Charli breathed with you and it actually helped settle your nerves quite a bit.

A few minutes later the green room door swung open and George, Hann and Ross came stumbling in on a high, adrenaline pumping from the show. They were shortly followed by Matty. You decided you needed to talk to him right now or you would go crazy. “Matty, can we um talk outside, privately?” Your voice soft and he nodded heading back out. You followed closing the door behind you.

“Y/n I’m so sorry- I’ve come on too strong haven’t I? I don’t want to lose you as a friend if you don’t feel the same, I fuck. I don’t know why I-“ before he could finish your lips were on his shutting him up and he melted into the kiss, the both of you confirming what you knew was true for awhile, “I love you too” you looked into his eyes and replied to what he mouthed indirectly on stage, at this he smiled so bright and kissed you again.

“I can’t believe that song worked” He said as you both embraced and he kissed your forehead, he had finally got his girl.

[the-bau-quinjet]

Timeless

Summary: Steve breaks up with singer!reader because he doesn't want to hold her back. He starts to question everything after hearing the song she wrote for him.

Warnings: life in the Instagram era

word count: 4695

a/n: 100000% inspired by Timeless by Taylor Swift. i did not proofread this bc I am lazy so I do apologize for whatever typos there are

Masterlist

"I just don't get it," Steve overheard the young women talking while waiting in line for coffee. "She could literally be with anyone and she's gonna pick some old guy who literally fought in World War II?" He already had an idea of where this was going, but the response confirmed his fears.

"I know! Like Steve Rogers is hot but that's so weird! He's like 100 years old," she scoffed.

"A man out of time and probably out of touch," the first replied. "I bet he's totally holding her back."

Steve decided to forgo his coffee, simply turning around and leaving before things could get more awkward for him. Dating you has actually been when he's felt most at home in this century, but that doesn't mean he no longer struggles with his new present day.

Hardly a day goes by without you or someone else having to explain something to him, whether it be an insignificant reference to some tv show or more important information on how certain technology works. Suffice it to say, he feels like his age does show. It's something you've talked about in your relationship, but clearly, something Steve still struggles with.

He decided to walk back to the tower using the time to really think about what was best for you in terms of being with him. The first day the two of you met had been a particularly bad one for Steve, but somehow you managed to cheer him up. You've basically been inseparable since.

The more he thought about it, the more sure he was that those women were right. He was holding you back. You spend so much time with him, and at the tower in general, that you haven't really been living the same way you were before.

Before you met Steve, you had just finished your first world tour. You were always traveling or in and out of the studio. Now, you spend all your time in New York and you haven't had so much as a single performance outside of New York in the two and a half years you've been with him.

As he walked the last few steps up to the tower, Steve had already made his decision.

-

You were practically bouncing up and down on the couch as you waited for Steve to get home. After months of writing and recording in the home studio Tony set up for you, you could finally surprise Steve with some new songs. The one you were most excited about hadn't even been recorded yet. You were just too excited to share the lyrics to wait.

You couldn't help but reminisce as you waited, thinking about the first time you'd ever met. After your tour, all you wanted to do was go home and sleep, but Tony had personally invited you to his latest gala and your manager really pushed for you to go. Turns out, it was the best decision of your life.

The sound of the door opening down the hall broke you out of your daydream. The telltale sounds of Steve hanging up his jacket and tossing his keys in the dish by the door confirmed your suspicions.

You nearly tripped over the coffee table in your effort to greet him, but the look on his face stopped you dead in your tracks. "Steve?" you asked. "Are you okay?"

He sighed in response, one hand running through his hair as he looked at the ground. After a few seconds, he managed to meet your eye, but it did nothing to ease the nerves you were now feeling.

"Did something happen?" you asked just as he spoke up.

"We should break up."

His words felt like a physical blow in the silence that followed. You leaned back into the arm of the couch, suddenly unsure of everything.

"What?" you barely breathed out the question. The emotional whiplash was too confusing to process this quickly.

"I just, I don't think we should stay together. I wish I had more to say, but that's it." Steve cut straight to the bone, his own heart breaking. Still, he thought it was for the best.

"Oh," you barely managed to reply, still reeling from the shock. "Um, okay. I'll just... I'll just go."

You walked blindly down the hall and out the door, not even considering what you would do with all of your things that were in the apartment. You didn't even grab your purse, so you couldn't realistically leave the tower. Instead, you headed straight for the studio.

It felt like if you were recording a song about Steve, you could pretend that conversation didn't just happen. You could live in the past for just another few hours before reality finally hit you.

You still had the music pulled up in the recording booth. You'd gone so far as to take out some of the most inspiring pictures that lead to this song. There were plenty of pictures of you and Steve, but also the old black and white photos you found in the antique shop.

Thankfully Tony set things up so you could record on your own if you wanted, so that's exactly what you did.

Down the block there's an antique shop and something in my head said stop, so I walked in...

-

Instead of facing your emotions head-on, you dove into your work. You recorded every song you had left for the album, only contacting your manager and the label when things were finished.

They had a few things to tweak, but the record was ready not even two weeks later. Since you'd already been teasing the songs on tik tok, your label agreed to a surprise release. Thirteen songs would be released at the end of the week.

With the album ready and the date picked, you switched focus to scheduling performances at award shows and TV interviews. Anything to keep you from the gutwrenching reality of your emotions.

- Steve wasn't doing much better. His mood was foul and everybody could tell. Seeing as you were avoiding everyone by staying in an apartment owned by your label, the team tried cornering Steve for information.

"What the hell happened with Y/N?" Nat finally asked when Steve brushed off the slightly less invasive questions about how he was doing. He simply shook his head, glaring at an unphased Natasha.

"Have you listened to her new album?" Sam asked, trying to break the tension before all hell broke loose.

Steve tensed at the mention of your music. He had not listened to it, but the mere existence sent him into a spiral. In his eyes, it proved his point. Two and a half weeks without him and you were already releasing music. Something you hadn't done in the two and a half years you'd been together.

"Just leave me alone," he all but begged. Listening to the songs he knew- or at least strongly expected- would be about him was too much to even consider. He shook off the questions with the sheer desperation in his eyes. Everyone could tell it was hitting him hard, but not knowing why they broke up made it difficult to try and help.

-

Things continued much the same for the next month. Steve avoided all things that reminded him of you. You worked every second you could, desperate to not have to think about how everything went wrong.

In those few moments when you had actually thought about Steve, you more than anything wanted to know why. It had gotten so far as to you hovering your finger over his contact, one split second from calling when your manager phoned you instead.

"Hello," you answered, desperately trying to hide the strain from your voice.

"They want you to perform at the Grammy's," your manager, Gina, wasted no time with pleasantries.

"Oh my god," you didn't know how to feel. "That's in three days!" This album meant so much to you, but it was entirely about falling and being in love with Steve. How could you perform one of your best love songs on one of the biggest stages in music with a broken heart?

"Do they want a specific song?" Somehow your mind kept working even though your heart was breaking all over again.

"You get to choose," Gina continued to gush, but you couldn't listen. Having to choose was almost worse. You managed to tune back in for the last bit of information. "I know it's weird because you're not nominated, but nobody expected Rihanna to have to pull out. The news is her baby is the picture of health though! Since this is so last minute, they need to know what song the day after tomorrow for scheduling purposes."

"I'll do Timeless," you blurted out. Having to make the decision would be the worst part, right? So now you can just prepare and deal with it.

"You sure?" she asked, wary of it being one of the most detailed love songs on the album.

"Yep!" The enthusiasm was easy to fake. You were excited to perform at the Grammy's, and this is the song you're most proud of. It'll be fine.

"I'll let them know! Check your email for the itinerary. Bye!" she hung up in a flash, leaving you alone with your thoughts again.

Steve's contact was still pulled up on your phone. It felt like it was mocking you. Of course, Timeless would be the song you blurt out in a panic. It was the one you were most excited for him to hear. You can't imagine he's listened to the album. He might not even know it was released. A Grammy's performance was the closest to a guarantee that he'd hear it.

Now you just had to practice singing as if it wasn't going to emotionally wreck you.

-

"We've been invited to the Grammy's," Tony burst into the room with no preamble.

"Who's we?" Sam asked, already planning the suit he would wear in his mind.

"Four of us, bird brain," Tony replied swiftly. "Normally I'd be all over this, but I promised Morgan I would build her big girl bed with her tomorrow, so I'm stuck. You all have to go."

Nat, Sam, and Bucky all seemed okay with the invitation, and in Sam's case mildly excited. Steve, on the other hand, scowled at Tony. He was only about 60% sure the Grammy's were for music, but if the 60% was right he would rather go on a mission in Antarctica than potentially be in the same building as Y/N right now.

"I don't wanna hear it, Capsicle." Tony read the look on his face. "Four of us have to be there, and as our fearless leader that means you. Friday will send the details." He walked out much the same way he walked in, with a dramatic flair that left no room for questions.

"I guess we're going to the Grammy's," Nat cut a look across the room to Steve, gauging his reaction.

"So we are," he mumbled, quickly leaving the room before anyone could ask him about you.

-

Getting ready in your apartment was the only thing holding you together. Gina came over early this morning to lay out the details of your dress, hair, makeup, and any last-minute accessory decisions.

"You ready for this?" she asked, buzzing with excitement. The car would be here to pick you up any minute.

"As I'll ever be," you shakily replied. Despite making the decision quickly, you'd yet to settle the reality of performing the song in front of a crowd with how it felt to record it alone in a booth.

"Well, you can shake off those last few nerves right now. You're gonna be amazing. Remember, you're toward the end of the show. I guess you'll be a break from the nominated artists just before they announce album of the year, okay?"

You merely nodded in response, still trying to get over the nerves. You followed her down to the car, going over the lyrics in your head. Repetition was your best bet to stave off any emotional outbursts during the actual performance.

-

Steve had barely said a word all day, choosing instead to just float through the day. He wore the suit presented to him with no questions asked. He followed the schedule Friday had given him to a tee. He left no room for conversation, the glare on his face deterring any small talk.

He looked up the list of performers in an attempt to see if Y/N would be there, but she wasn't listed. The only thing causing him worry was the "surprise guest" that had been invited to replace Rihanna, who had to pull out of performing because she had a baby a few days ago. The amount of detail about other people's lives on the internet still surprised Steve sometimes, but he was glad to hear she was doing well- whoever she was.

He managed to hold it together through the red carpet, hearing whispers from the crowds that strung his and your name together. That was one of the things that drew the two of you together. It may have been a different kind of attention, but you both had faces the general public might recognize. Being the center of attention was never the goal for either of you, so your relationship remained largely private.

"Weird that he didn't walk the carpet with Y/N..." one guest whispered. Steve's enhanced hearing meant he could still pick up the voices. It was almost as if he was involuntarily listening for your name and honing in on the conversation.

"I mean, they've always been private... unless, do you think they broke up?" the responder gasped. Steve felt his heartbeat increase, being the subject of rumors and gossip never sat well with him.

"But this whole album is so happy! Maybe she-"

Steve was pulled inside before he could hear the rest. Probably for the best, he thought. Now that he knew you were here, he needed to focus on avoiding you.

Apparently, that wouldn't be hard. He and his fellow Avengers assigned seats were much further back than the musicians that were invited or nominated. He could see you from his seat, but you were far enough away to basically guarantee no forced interactions.

He merely sat in his seat, greeting people as they stopped by to say hello, and waited for the show to start. The quicker this thing was over, the quicker he would be able to go back to avoiding his feelings.

-

Walking the carpet was an absolute dream. You only wish you could've been more present. You were still incredibly nervous for your performance, and the murmurs you heard about the Avengers being in attendance did nothing to help.

You just had to choose to believe that Steve wouldn't come tonight. Unless he was so unaffected by the breakup that he could be here without it being a problem, which was a scenario you needed to put out of your head. No thoughts of break ups or Steve. At least, not until the performance.

Finding your table was easy enough once you got inside, and refusing to look around may have seemed odd, but people could easily chalk it up to nerves. Not many new about your surprise performance, but everyone knew it was your first Grammy's ceremony You were on tour when you were nominated for Best New Artist, ultimately winning the award, but missing out on the ceremony.

Other artists stopped by and chatted for a few minutes until eventually the lights dimmed and the show began.

-

Before long, a stage manager was ushering you out of your chair on a commercial break and bringing you backstage to get ready. You hadn't had much choice when it came to your carpet look- a gorgeous pink dress with plenty of tulle- but your performance look was more customizable.

You chose a dark blue set with plenty of crystals sewn onto the fabric. It looked like the night sky, and if blue is Steve's favorite color so what. This was the exact vibe you'd dreamed up when you were writing the song, so it only felt right to perform in it.

Your hair and makeup needed minimal changes, so after a few touch ups, you were being ushered toward the stage. It seemed everything backstage was happening fast enough to leave no time for nerves.

"And now, our long awaited surprise performer! She has taken the world by storm with her surprise release, I wouldn't be surprised if we saw her nominated for next year's awards. Please welcome F/N L/N performing Timeless!"

You were already seated at the piano when the curtains were drawn back. Although the song wasn't a piano ballad on the album, it felt right for this performance. You wasted no time getting started once the cheers died down.

Down the block there's an antique shop and something in my head said stop, so I walked in. On the counter was a cardboard box and the sign said "Photo's 25 cents each."

They were some very literal opening lines, and unsurprisingly the memories were flooding through you. You were out walking around the city, trying to clear your head, when you stumbled upon an antique store. The photos on the counter were the very first inspiration for lyrics to the vague idea of a song.

Black and white, saw a 30s bride and two lovers laughing on the porch of their first house. The kind of love you only find once in a lifetime. The kind you don't put down. And that's when I called you, and it's so hard to explain, but in those photos, I saw us instead.

It was so easy to envision Steve in the 30s, you couldn't help but put yourself in these photos with him. Your lives would be so different if you'd met back then, but there wasn't a doubt in your mind that you would love him just the same.

And, somehow, I know that you and I would've found each other. In another life, you still would've turned my head.

This was something you'd told Steve over and over. Every time he felt unsure of being in this time, you said "I would love you in any life, Steve. Any life. I'm just glad you found me in this one." You really had to gear up for the first chorus. It had one of the most telling, and therefore nerve wracking, lines.

-

Even if we'd met on a crowded street in 1944, and you were headed off to fight in the war. You still would've been mine. We would've been timeless.

Steve was slack jawed as he listened to your song for the first time. The way you were able to take the little memories and build such a beautiful melody out of them astounded him. His emotions were suddenly overwhelming, and there was now way for him to runaway from them this time.

I would've read your love letters every single night, and prayed to god you'd be coming home alright. And you would've been fine. We would've been timeless.

It wasn't that far off from this reality. Anytime Steve was on a mission, he'd write you letters to read while he was away. After the first time, you started writing letters for him to take with him as well. Even if the two of you couldn't talk on the phone, you had something from the other to tide you over.

'Cause I believe that we were supposed to find this. So even in a different life, you still would've been mine. We would've been timeless.

There was that line about a different life again. Steve already felt like he was living a different life, and somehow you knew exactly how to express what he was feeling while simultaneously reassuring him of your own love.

I had to smile when it caught my eye, there was one of a teenage couple in the driveway. Holdin' hands on the way to a dance and the date on the back said 1958. Which brought me back to the first time I saw you. Time stood still like something in this old shop.

Steve could still easily picture the very first second he saw your face. He wanted to be anywhere but Tony's party, having just come back from a mission that was only moderately successful. They had saved the hostages, but the Hydra agents managed to escape. He wanted nothing more than to track them down and being at the party would only delay everything.

When Tony brought you around for introductions, he found the mission had slipped entirely from his head. You somehow managed to lighten the mood without knowing why he was so grumpy, earning an uncharacteristic laugh from Steve still in Captain mode.

It was no surprise to anyone at the party when the two of you spent the rest of the evening together. Sitting at the bar, or the rare slow dance meant you could continue the never ending conversation.

Steve found himself so lost in thought, he missed most of the second verse and chorus. It wasn't until Bucky nudged him that he refocused on your words.

-

We're gonna be... I'm gonna love you when our hair is turnin' gray. We'll have a cardboard box of photos of the life we've made. And you'll say, "Oh my, we really were timeless."

You could feel the tears building through the second chorus and the bridge, but the third chorus really broke you down. You didn't understand why Steve decided it was best to break up and never getting that closure was taking its toll. You couldn't stop the few tears from falling, the notes that followed uncharacteristically wobbly.

-

We're gonna be timeless, timeless. You still would've been mine. We would've been... Even if we'd met on a crowded street in 1944. You still would've been mine. We would've been...

Steve could hear the tears in your voice easier than he could see them. His moment of weakness was haunting him as his own tears started to fall. He brushed them away quickly, forcing himself to hold it together until you were done.

Down the block there's an antique shop and something in my head said stop, so I walked in.

It was clear to him now more than ever that he was so wrong. He let his insecurities get the better of him, and messed up the single greatest thing that had come from being in this century.

With the show nearly over, he didn't think anyone would notice his absence. Instead of returning to his seat at the end of the commercial break, he slipped out a side exit. He wanted nothing more than to talk to you, but had no way of finding you.

"Steve!" He turned at the sound of a familiar voice calling his name. To his surprise, your manager was standing just a few feet away. "She left right after the song, said she's too tired for the afterparty."

Steve nodded, unsure why she was telling him.

"Here's her current address. Code to the elevator is 0704," she winked, passing him a slip of paper. Understanding dawned on him, and he wanted to scream.

"Thank you, Gina. Really," he managed to control the maelstrom of emotion, subtly slipping outside as quickly as he could. He was meant to ride home in the hired car with the rest of the Avengers, but your address wasn't too far from the Garden. He opted to walk, slowly transitioning into a run as his desperation grew. The flash of cameras followed him down the street, but with his speed he outpaced them quickly enough. He had one thing on his mind and one thing only, fixing things with you.

-

The pounding on your door scared you more than you'd care to admit. Nobody should be able to reach this floor without the code, but still. The knocking had an air of desperation that you wouldn't expect from anyone visiting right now. Gina was the logical choice, but was skipping the afterparty that big of a deal?

You had planned to double check through the peephole, but before you reached the door, the very last voice you'd have expected sounded clear through the door.

"Y/N? Gina, she gave me the code. I just, I need to apologize. I... I fucked up." He stalled, in nearly as much disbelief as you at hearing the words fall out of his mouth.

You swung the door open, gesturing for him to come in. You didn't trust yourself to speak. Hell, you barely trusted yourself to look at him. Once you both settled on the couch, you finally risked a glance.

Steve looked more distraught than you'd ever seen him, but his lack of explanation still left you reeling. He seemed to be at a loss for words himself until you looked at him.

"We really are timeless, huh?" he tried easing into things, instantly regretting his choice of words when you nearly vaulted off the couch.

"Steve, what the hell? You break up with me with no explanation and show up quoting my own lyrics to me?" your words lacked the anger you wished you could express, too raw from the performance to cover the dimensions of hurt. The tears were quick to return to your eyes as Steve slowly approached you.

He grabbed your hands in his and when you showed no signs of pulling away, tried again. "I made the biggest mistake of my life that day. Not just in not explaining, but in deciding I knew what was best for you. In thinking I was doing the right thing by giving in to my fears.

"You are single-handedly the greatest person I've ever known. And I overheard these women saying you could have anyone and do anything... I managed to convince myself that you deserved more. To pretend like breaking up with you was noble and not because I was afraid you'd come to the same conclusion as them"

"Steve," you shook your head, a few tears falling. You were at a loss for words. For the last two months, you thought he just fell out of love with you. His reasoning, although flawed, was reassuring. Still, it didn't undo the hurt he caused.

"I should've known better. And I can't undo what I've already done, but I can promise to never doubt you again. To come to you with my insecurities and listen to your voice when mine isn't strong enough. And I hope I can be that person for you in life- to reassure you when you feel lost." He took a deep breath before continuing, "I love you and if you'll have me again, I want to be timeless with you."

You could feel yourself squeezing his hands tighter and tighter as he spoke, trying to funnel the overwhelming emotions into physical exertion instead of tears.

"I love you too," you whispered, voice breaking on a fresh wave of tears. You wrapped your arms around him, letting him lead you back to the couch. You still had a lot to discuss, but right now, you just wanted him to hold you.

-

Bonus:

A few hours later, after many discussions about ignoring gossip and coming to each other with your problems, Steve finally managed to work up the nerve to voice once more question.

"Is the rest of the album about loving me, or is there a breakup song on there? Because I can handle it, but I might need some warning."

You stared at him for a beat before the question really sunk in.

"You haven't listened to any of it?" you confirmed. When he nodded, you just smirked. "While, I guess you'll find out right now then."

You knew it was 13 songs expressing different kinds of love for him, but you would let him sweat it out for the next 57 minutes.

a/n: here are the songs I envision on the album lol:

Timeless, Call It What You Want, Sweet Nothing, Daylight, New Year's Day, invisible string, Dress, False God, Paper Rings, Cornelia Street, evermore, Today Was A Fairytale, Lover

taglist:

Permanent: @averyhotchner @jesuswasnotawhiteman @strawberryspence @andrwgxrfield @jswessie187 @ellobruv @alohastitch0626

Marvel: @leyannrae @livstilinski @oceaniamaddness @justreadingficsdontmindme @ladydmalfoy @freyathehuntress

[sayafics]

Warmth

Just a little spiralling thought of what would happen if OC was stuck in a cabin with Rick and possibly had hypothermia and needed warming up ;) <3

Warnings: dry humping, slight non-con/don-con (OC is asleep at first but all else is consenual ofc)

Masterlist

Alora trudged through the snow with trembling limbs, the cold sinking deep into her skin despite the layers of clothes she dressed herself in.

It had been snowing for days now, but neither Rick nor Alora could have predicted it would get this bad so quickly.

Her eyes were tracking every shadow that crossed her, watching her surroundings and searching for any sign Rick might have passed through the next place she was ready to traverse.

When Alora and Rick had volunteered to go onto a supply run, they hadn't expected this. The prison was running low on medications, bandages, and hygiene products - Alora, never someone who was happy to sit in the scent of her own sweat and hardwork, leapt at the first opportunity presented to, at least, find some more soap.

Rick didn't hesitate to volunteer himself shortly after.

Life in the prison wasn't easy, not after everything they had already been through. But it was simple. It was familiar. It was everything Alora wished she could return to as her teeth clattered in the quietness around her.

Her feet felt numb, fingers stinging as she burrowed them further in her pockets and shrunk back into the collar of her coat in an attempt to hide from the icy winds.

Her head felt heavy, eyes tired and limbs weak as she continued to march through the land in search for somewhere warm to spend the upcoming night.

***

It didn't take Alora long to find some place habitable - a lonely cabin sat hidden amongst the decaying branches of brittle trees. No matter how hard she tried, though, she could only trudge towards it slowly.

Upon stumbling inside, she threw herself upon a cold and solid couch. She curled into a ball upon the lumpy furniture, eyes fluttering closed as she promised to start a fire when she woke up after a short nap.

That was how Rick found her a few hours later.

The man was a frantic mess, unaffected by the cold but horrified at the prospect Alora could be hurt simply because she was not with him.

Guilt ate at him during his search - if he had not let her leave his sight, leave his side, she would still be standing next to him. With him. Safe.

It was with these festering thoughts he stumbled upon the quiet cabin, heart protesting with fierce guilt as his mind encouraged him to rest for a night.

Perhaps a few hours, he compromised.

Upon trudging into the residence, his heart sank to his stomach as his eyes lay upon a rigid and small body - the girls hair lay astrewn, and quiet huffs pass her lips in a quick concession.

"Fuck," Rick cursed as he stumbled closer, hands trembling out of fear instead of cold as he got closer and noticed the blue tinge to Alora's lips.

"Alora," he shook her shoulders, voice growing louder as he grew more panicked, "Alora, open your eyes."

Guilt struck Rick like an arrow, so ashamed and so stupid. He should have stopped her from coming on this run, should have known how dangerous it would be.

But the idea of spending even a few hours with just her at his side was a possibility he could not pass up.

It seemed all his months of pining, however, led to this. And if he could, he would take it all back if it meant she was somewhere safe and warm.

Alora groaned, her eyes barely able to open as she leaned away from Rick's touch - "too warm," her brows furrowed, and she whined in her sleep but Rick only needed to skim the supple skin of her cheeks to feel the biting cold that had taken her over.

"Hey, c'mon sweetheart open y'r eyes, huh?"

"No, 'm tired - wanna sleep," her mumbled whines made his heart sink in dread as he cupped her cold and flushed face in his hands.

"I need you to look at me, can you do that sweetheart? Look at me, baby. C'mon, open those pretty eyes for me."

Her eyes parted open slowly, as though she was lifting the weight of a thousand suns and she gleamed blearily into the eyes of sea blue that were waiting for her familiar gaze - "that's it, sweetheart. Good girl."

Alora answered Rick's praising mumbles with a giddy grin, the quiet huffs of laughter escaping her in a quick concession despite her body trembling under the harsh caress of the cold and frosty winds.

Alora couldn't hold her head up straight, teetering to each side as he lifted a frigid finger to brush against Rick's frost-bitten lips as she sang quietly, "you called me baby."

Rick couldn't stop himself from rolling his eyes, an amused huff escaping him as he regarded her form. He sat up straighter, arms winding her arms to lift her up so she could sit up upon the couch but her slurred words made him pause.

"I can't feel m' hands. 'm tired."

Rick cursed, eyes darting across the quaint cabin as he jumped to his feet. He threw open drawers, barging into rooms to rifle through cupboards and closets until he found a pile of folded blankets and heaved the ton.

Rick placed the blankets upon the floor by Alora's tittering body, eyes growing wary as she settled into a stilted and quiet sleep once more.

He rushed as he made his way to an old and dreary fireplace, kneeling against a flush fur rug and reaching for a set of matchsticks placed nearby.

The fireplace was struck alight with ease, and as a warring heat bubbled through the room Rick was able to step back slightly calmer than before.

He returned to Alora's side, hands hovering over her body as though he was unsure if his next moves would be right. But it only took one more glance at her pale face and sheen forehead for him to regain his bearings.

He began to pull her clothes off of her, frowning at the thin materials as he whispered apologies to the unconscious girl.

Alora stirred awake at his frantic motions, hands pushing him away as her trembling grew fierce under the heat of the fire nearby.

Rick tutted, taking her wrists in one hand as the other tugged down her trousers. He held his breath for a moment, taking in the sight of her bare body.

He pulled a blanket from the pile, wrapping it around the girl before heaving her body into his arms and carrying her to the fireplace. He laid down her squirming body on the fur rug beneath his booted feet, eyes growing hungry as he watched her stretch upon the soft ground and whine as she settled.

Rick stood watching her for a moment, hoping the blankets and the fire would be enough but as time ticked by her shivering hadn't improved and worry grew in the pit of his stomach.

His eyes glanced over the fireplace, a small mirror mounted upon the wall, and caught sight of his own frigid reflection. He bit his lip in contemplation, a hand rubbing down his face and scratching his neck as he decided upon his next move.

With a frustrated groan, Rick began to pull off his clothes leaving him in only his boxers as he stared down at the stirring girl beneath him. He worried the minute he held her within his arms he would not be able to hold himself back, would not be able to control his urges and his desires.

He trudged to the pile of blankets, scooping up two more as he made his way back. He threw them gently atop the girl who's eyes were now opened to stare at his with a weary sense of curiosity.

Rick joined her on the ground, pulling himself under the blanket as the warmth beneath soothed his own tremors of cold.

A weak smile tugged at Alora's lip as she watched him join her, a whimper escaping her lips as his arms wound around and tugged her close. Even through the blanket wrapped around her lithe figure, she could feel every part of Rick she tried to ignore. His warmth radiated through the blanket and it only caused her to shiver in response, the reaction causing Rick to hold her tighter as he thought she was still cold.

In her delirium, far too cold that the chill felt like waves of heat, she writhed and flailed until Rick let her go in confusion, "you okay, sweetheart?"

His voice dripped in concern and Alora could only blink tiredly at the man as soundless mumbles passed her lips and she squirmed within the confines of her blankets.

Alora unwound the first blanket Rick had wrapped tightly against her, and in all her tired hysteria, she began to tug off the last few articles Rick was too much of a gentleman to touch.

She tried to throw her bra and panties to join the rest of her clothes, but they only moved far enough to sit next to Rick's.

Rick watched her with wide eyes, unsure if he should stop the girl or leave her be. It seemed, as she settled with a relieved sigh and a gasping giggle, that he did not have time to make such a choice.

Before he could make another move, Alora shuffled closer to him and burrowed herself in his warmth.

With the blanket he had placed around her now unwound and free, there was no longer a barrier between her naked body and his bare one.

Rick held his breath as he felt her breasts press against his chest, eyes closing tight as he gritted his teeth when she threw a leg over his hip and he could feel her bare cunt against his stomach.

Alora settled into a quiet sleep, her head burrowed into the crook of Rick's next as her breaths were warm upon his cheek.

Rick tried to steady his own breaths, his arms shaky as his arms wound around the small girl to hold her closer, despite his conscious protesting.

Rick groaned quietly at the feeling of her pretty cunt flush against his flesh, radiating such a warmth he had to hold his breath to ground his thoughts. He held her steady by her rump as he tried not to grind into the supple flesh of her thigh which lay directly on his hardening cock.

It had taken him some time to fall asleep, his cock much too hard and the feeling of her soft flesh against his own much too tempting.

The hours ticked by quickly, Rick's hammering heart able to settle slowly as time went by as his body grew tired as the activities of the day caught up with him.

It had to have only been seconds until he woke up again, the sound of something quiet and close alerting him of a presence. He opened his eyes to be met with the dark as the fire had died out and the sun had not risen, but he felt warm beneath the piles of blankets and only grew warmer as he realised what had woken him up.

Or rather, who.

Alora whined in her sleep, brows furrowed as her breaths grew laboured and Rick had to hold back a groan as he realised her hips shifted so she could grind her cunt against the hard flesh of his abdomen.

His hands came upon her hips, his morals warring with his desires as he struggled to come up with an idea of what to do. It seemed Alora's sleepy form did not appreciate his efforts to stop her pleasure and she twisting in his grip, moving down his body to escape his hands and sighing as her uncovered cunt found his hardened cock.

Rick couldn't help the groans that escaped him now - fuck, she was so wet he could feel his boxers becoming damp as she ground herself against him. Rick's hips pushed up to meet her own, uncaring if she was awake or asleep.

His hands returned to her hips, this time to ground her harder against him instead of stopping her.

Whines left her lips like prayers, eyes fluttering as she mumbled nonsense in her sleep.

"Fuck, what a dirty girl." Rick groaned into the dark, winding his arms around her waist as he planted his feet on the ground do he could rub against her even harder. His sounds became almost animalistic, losing himself in the feeling of her wet and sticky pussy that ground against him with ease.

"Rick?" A quiet whimper escaped her lips as Alora's eyes fluttered open and her eyes roll back in pleasure, and at such an enticing sight Rick ignored the twinge of guilt he felt as his grip grew tighter.

"Atta girl, there's my baby. Moanin' for me in y'r sleep. My dirty girl, aren't ya?"

"Rick~" his name passed her lips like a prayer, her hands reaching up to his shoulders as she shuddered at the feeling of slick between her legs and keened at the feeling of his covered cock rubbing against her throbbing clit.

"What d'ya want, baby? Hm?"

"Fuck," her voice broke as she hid her face in the crook of his neck, face damp with tears and sweat, "need more. Please, Rick - feels good, wan' more."

Rick groaned as his head fell back at her words, "shit, you want more, sweetheart? I'll give you more."

His hands reached down to his boxers, Alora whining loudly as he stopped their obscene movements. Rick tutted at the girl, nipping at her exposed breasts as she jumped and twitched upon his lap, "it's okay, baby. I got you."

He pulled down his boxers, fisting his red cock as Alora stared at it with parted lips. Rick smirked at the girl, "don't worry, sweetheart. I'll let you taste it next time."

Alora flushed deeply, hand coming to smack Rick upon the chest as she rolled her eyes and mumbled 'shut up'.

Rick huffed a laugh as his hands returned to her hips, he lifted her up so she was hovering above his stiffened cock and then placed her down upon his stomach so her pretty little cunt was flush against the head of his cock, leaving it trapped between her throbbing clit and his hard muscles.

Rick leaned back, a grin upon his face as he nodded towards her fidgeting hips - he sounded breathless as he spoke, "move those hips for me, baby."

Alora looked at him, almost unsure, but placed her hands behind her upon his thighs as she shifted forwards and back. A drawn out moan escaped her as her head fell back, her long hair tickling his legs as his hands reached to grip her hips tight enough to leave bruises.

His hands guided her to move faster- harder.

She moved up his body, her hips moving frantically as she hovered above his face. Their eyes met as Alora's own filled with tears at the pleasure she felt and Rick only hesitated for a moment before a hand wound itself in her hair and tugged her froward for a sloppy kiss.

The two chased their high, growing desperate as the seconds ticked by until Alora's pussy began to clench and her empty hole ached for Rick's cock. He pulled her into his chest, so close himself that he could see stars.

"Cum for me, baby."

And she did, a loud moan passing her lips as she shuddered upon his lap before falling in a heap atop his chest. Her fatigued body didn't stop Rick from chasing his own high, groaning at the sound of her whimpers as she grew overtsimulated as he continued to bounce her pretty body on the lap, and dug his fingers into the flesh of her rump before finishing with a guttural groan.

He twisted her head up with a hand in her hair, biting her lower lip as his fingers reached down to her twitching pussy to find her tortured clit. He kissed her with an amused smile as he flicked the puffy bead and relished in the feeling of her slick pooling in his lap and the sound of her harsh whines.

He brought his slick-ridden fingers to her lips, tracing them before pushing his fingers in, "suck."

And so she did, on command with wide eyes and flushed cheeks.

Fuck.

Rick had a feeling he could get used to this - maybe the run didn't go as bad as he thought it did.

Especially not if it ended with her naked in his arms and his fingers in her mouth.

[kalissimsblog]

Return to normalcy: Part 1

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Text below the cut

Xavier arrives at the playground with his wife, Cassie, and their children, Levi and Kami. The four of them start making their way over to the play area, looking for the others as they walk. He and two of his siblings made arrangements to meet up and have a playdate for the kids. It’s something they like to do on occasion so the little ones could socialize and spend time with their cousins, but due to recent events they haven’t been able to do so for a while.

Realizing that they are the first to arrive, Xavier scouts out a picnic bench beside the playground to serve as a meeting spot for everyone. When the spot is secured, Xavier urges the kids to go play and plops down on the bench, keeping an eye on the children as they run around. Cassie finds her spot next to him and rests her head on his shoulder.

“This is nice, isn’t it?” she says “It’s been a while since we’ve been able to do something as a family.”

“Yes, very.” he replies

It is a beautiful day, not a cloud in the sky and the temperature was just perfect, not too hot, not too cold. There is a slight breeze that keeps the air from feeling stagnant and keeps the heat at bay. It felt good brushing across his overly-sensitive skin.  He gazes at his wife still nestled against him and smiles. He missed being able to do this.

A few minutes later, he spies his twin sister, Luna, coming down the path, her twin daughters, Harper and Hadley, in tow. Xavier notes the lack of the other two household members.

As she approaches, Xavier waves in greeting. Luna struggles to juggle the squirming toddlers but eventually makes it over to the table. She releases the children and encourages them to join the others. 

“Full of energy, huh?” Xavier asks.

“Just a little,” Luna replies, catching her breath. “Toddlers, you know. Never a dull moment.”

“Sounds about right.” Xavier says, thinking back to when his kids were toddlers.

Cassie, still seated next to Xavier, smiles and looks up at Luna. She’s clearly happy to see her old friend. They haven’t had much time to hang out in recent months so now they could finally get caught up.

“Hey Luna. You’re looking well.” Cassie says

“You as well.” Luna smiles. “You’ve been keeping my brother in check, I hope?”

“Of course. Someone has to.” Cassie says.

The girls giggle and glance at Xavier as if to read his reaction. He doesn’t give them anything so they continue chatting. After a few minutes, Cassie stands up, gives Luna a quick hug, then walks nearer to the play area to supervise the little ones, leaving the two siblings alone to talk.

Luna joins Xavier on the bench. She looks tired and slightly stressed out. Being a parent to toddlers will do that to you.

Xavier wonders about her husband, Aidan, and son, Finn.

“Where are the boys?” he asks.

“Finn isn’t feeling well, so Aidan stayed behind with him. Full moon tonight.”

“Ah, I see. Poor kid. Hope he feels better soon.”

Luna’s oldest child inherited lycanthropy from his father and struggles with the effects of the curse. The days surrounding the full moon, especially the day of, cause him to feel ill and achy. Luna and Aidan dedicate most of their time to comfort him on those days. This explains why Luna seems on-edge today. 

Luna frowns and sighs.

“I wish there was something I could do for him. I hate seeing him in so much pain and not being able to help. It makes me feel like a bad mother, you know?”

Xavier gives Luna a surprised look. His sister is far from a bad mother. She’s always going above and beyond for her children, sacrificing sleep and anything else necessary to meet their needs. Xavier hates seeing her so defeated, and could practically feel her dismay, so he tries to comfort her.

“Don’t say that, Luna. You do everything for those kids. You’re doing your best and that’s all anyone can ask for.”

She sits in silence for a few moments.

“It’s our fault, though.” she finally replies. “If Aidan and I were more careful… I love him, and would do anything for him, but I feel so guilty that he is like this because of us.”

Xavier is unsure how to respond. She’s right, technically. He remembers how rough her pregnancy was with him, how she almost died. If she had chosen not to keep him things would have been easier for everyone. He doesn’t fault her for her decision, and he understands why she feels the way that she does. But now Finn has to deal with the consequences because of her choices.

“Loving him is the best thing you can do for him. Some things are out of our control and we just have to do what we can. Who knows? Maybe one day he can be cured and not have to deal with this anymore.”

Luna’s eyes widened in fear. She’s seems to be remembering what Aidan went through when he was cured. There’s no way she’d subject her son to that same torture. 

Before she could respond, Xavier clarifies. “I don’t mean the same method as Aidan’s cure. I’m just thinking that maybe someday someone will develop a cure that’s safe for people like him. It’s bound to happen eventually.”

Luna relaxes a little. 

“That would be nice.” 

Obviously tired of talking about it, and probably regretting bringing it up, she changes the topic.

“Christian is coming, right?”

“Supposed to be.”

Xavier glances at the time on his phone. Late again. He’s not surprised in the slightest. Christian has always been bad about being on time for anything, work especially. Xavier has come to expect it at this point, but it doesn’t mean that he isn’t disappointed in how irresponsible his little brother tends to be.

To be continued...

[ohtobeleah]

Okay here me out…. DiNozzo and McGee going to your house to get you for a case and walk in to find you and Rooster after spending the night together.

I fuck with this concept I really do. As always here’s NCIS // Bradley Bradshaw if you missed the fix drop on Wednesday! And the new Masterlist

Honestly, I see this happening like a week before you and Bradley decide to make things official. Four weeks before he’s shipping out to TopGun. Four weeks before the very case DiNozzo and Mcgee are coming to get you for, ends up being the case that gets you shot for the very first time. Four weeks before Bradley Bradshaw is having an existential crisis over how fucking terrifying your job is.

“Why do you have a key to Junior Gibbs’s place and I don’t?” Tony questioned with a frown as he stepped out of the car he’d haphazardly parked in your driveway. “Seems a little off—“

“Seems like a question you’ll have to take up with her don’t you think?” McGee smirked as he casually jogged up your set of stairs, coffee in hand as he shoved the key to your townhouse into the lock on your front door. “Y/n? Hey it’s us! We got a—“ McGee didn’t even get to finish his sentence before he was staring down a sight in the living room of your home he wished he’d never had to bear witness to.

You were his boss's daughter, his partner. The sight of you sleeping on the couch in what he could only describe as one of those sheer babydoll dresses, wrapped in a mess of legs and muscular arms. Bradley Bradshaw who was still very much exposed. His junk still pressed against your ass as you slept. One wrong move and he’d be on full display for the entire world to see. Sleeping soundly with his face a mess in your hair. Still damp. Cheeks squished against the junction of your shoulder.

Since the moment Bradley decided enough was enough after having watched you aimlessly drift around the Carlton looking for your room, he knew he wanted you in his life in some way shape or form. After having spent the majority of the afternoon guiding you around the carrier—you exchanged numbers, emails, socials, everything. A friendship un like any other he’d ever known quickly bloomed out of thin air.

Bradley Bradshaw was happy to have you in his life as just that, a dear friend he’d walk across a burning hell to get to if you called. If you needed him. But let’s be honest here—Rooster didn’t have a lot of people in his life. His father Nick had died when he was three, his mother Carole had passed only a few short months before he was accepted into the Naval Academy, and the only father figure he’d ever really known had done the absolute unthinkable. Pulled his Naval Application. So when he started to realise you held a bigger place in his heart then he’d initially anticipated? Bradley knew he was down bad. He’d never had a best friend that was so effortlessly easy to love in so many ways.

And as for you? Bradley Bradshaw had managed to weasel his way into your heart from the moment he stopped you in your tracks on the Carlson. You weren’t a love at first sight kinda girl—but you quickly became the ‘My best friend is the love of my life but I’m too afraid to admit that to him or even myself bitch’.

So, as the years went by—mutual feelings developed fast, quickly and became increasingly fucking noticeable. The line between friendship and relationship blurred to something nonexistent and you and Bradley went about your lives perfectly happy with that. Until you both decided enough was enough—someone had to give, crack under the immense sexual energy that constantly radiated off the two of you.

It was Bradley. He was the one to crack first. He’d come to visit the week before he started his TopGun training. He’d always been very careful to keep his life with the navy, his aviation career and his colleagues and friends separate from the life he lived with you. Domestic, loving. Call him selfish but he wanted you all to himself. Bradley didn’t want to share or inadvertently collide his two lives. He had an irrational fear that maybe wasn’t all that irrational when you think about it, he was scared the moment he finally accepted the friendship and love you had always given him wasn’t a fever dream he’d lose you to some higher power. The same higher power that had taken everyone he ever loved away from him.  

“Hey woah, hold on a second—“ Bradley didn’t know what to make of the situation unfolding before him. What the actual fuck were you up to. “I was walking by but this caught my eye.” Pushing the bathroom door open more as he walked in. “What’s going on in here?”

“Stop—“ You beamed at Bradley through the mirror as he stood behind you. A cautious hand coming to rest gently on your hip. The silk fabric of that dangerous white babydoll you wore under his rough palm.

“What’s this?” He asked again with more interest, a shit stirring grin evident on his face as he beamed back at you. Trying to make out what the fuck you were trying to achieve.

“This is—“ You tried to explain before Bradley cut you off with a chuckle full of glee.

“Oh yes, yes please do tell—“ Bringing his other hand up to play with the hair that was twirled tight around the legging of the pair of pants currently on your head.

“I’m curling my hair!” You couldn’t help but to laugh as Bradley eyes you down with shock in his eyes. That was not what he was expecting you to say, sure he didn't really know what to expect but it definitely wasn't that. “I’m serious it’s a legit thing Bradshaw—“

“With pants!?” God Bradley couldn’t believe it. In all the years he’d known you, this was never something he'd imagined you do. “What the fuck, is this something new?”

“It’s better for your hair because there’s no heat—“ That was a legitimate fact. Heartless curls were in fact in. A trend that had a chokehold on you.

“Where did you see this?” Bradley’s tone was quick to change as he asked more pressing questions. Who had filled your head with stupid hacks like this. But more importantly how was he supposed to control himself when you were wearing something as scandalous as a goddamn babydoll with such ease around him. Were you trying to kill him? He understood he was in your home, your safe haven. But were you honestly just unaware of how much of an affect you had on him? Or were you doing it just to fuck with him?

“I saw it in TikTok.” Oh. Yep. There it was. That’s just blatant stupidity.

“Oh my—“ Bradley threw his hands up dramatically. You missed his touch instantly. “In the year of our lord and savour twenty twenty two, we’re using pants to curl our hair now?”

“Yes!” You beamed, still working to twirl your hair around the pant leg.

“What is this! What even is this?” Bradley once again taunted you as he played with the loopy pant leg that hung by your neck twisted in your hair. The side you’d already done. “What’s going on here huh?”

“Rooster stop, I'm trying to get it all done right.” You only ever very rarely used his call sign, but when you did it melted Bradley’s top worlds together just a little more. His eyes on yours, looking at you with lust and need and all the admiration in the world through the mirror of your main bathroom.

“I’m so invested—when do I get to see the curled hair?” Watching as you finished the side you were working on. His hands coming to rest on your hips again, a wave of electricity racing through your body at his touch. Your skin hot with need.

“Are you ready for the finale?” Turning in Bradley’s grip that never faulted, you leaned against your bathroom countertop as he trapped you between strong arms like just looked way too fucking unreal in that plain black T-shirt. Biceps about ready to burst the hems open. He’d gotten noticeably bigger over the past few months, so noticeable you were even able to pick up on it via zoom. He’s been training a lot, preparing for TopGun. You were not opposed.

“Oh please, please show me—“ Bradley begged. He couldn’t wait for whatever stupid thing you were about to show him.

“You have to tuck the ears.” Pulling the two separate pant legs that held your hair in curls behind your head before folding them up and into the waistband that covered your head. “And then plop—“ You looked as if you were wearing a bonnet from the mid eighteen hundreds. Bradley Bradshaw had never laughed harder at how ridiculous you looked. But in the most beautiful way possible. For a brief moment, he wondered if you’d marry him one day. Because a life with you seemed not only one he’d wake up and pinch himself about every morning, but it seemed like fun. A life with you seemed fun and exhilarating because you were fun and oh so exhilarating.

“Oh you are just adorable.” He cooed, hands needing at your flesh under the silk that adorned your hips. “You are my favourite person. This right here?” Letting go of you as he circrled his hand around your face. “Is my favourite version of you ever— hands down.” Before bringing his hand back to you, your arms wrapping around his neck casually as he glared his way.

“I invite you into my home and all I get in return is taunted and teased for my beauty routine.” You snickered softly as the gap became smaller and smaller. Bradley had even gone as far as to gently pick you up and sit you down on the countertop. Your exposed thighs on either side of him as his sweatpant clad legs. “You’re so rude to me—“ It was just so natural to be like this, act like this. Nothing felt out of the ordinary. To you anyway.

“Am not.” That was all Rooster could really muster as a coherent response because he was so lost in your eyes, so lost in the moment, so lost in the fact he was one hundred percent committed to the fact he was about to kiss you for the first time that there was no brain power left to formulate anything else but a two word answer. His mind flooded with the possibility of rejection, but how could he ever really know unless he went for it.

“You just wait, these curls are gonna be show stop—“ Before you could finish, Bradley had his hands cupping your cheeks. Keeping you close as he pulled you towards him. His lips crashing into yours with so much passion behind his cry for love that you forgot how to breathe. It felt like tears but it was only mere seconds before he was pulling away to read the room.

“I’m sorry, I’ve just really wanted to do that since like—“

“Carlton, since the Carlton.” You finished Bradley’s sentence seamlessly because it’s the exact way you felt. Crashing your lips back against his you both fell into a needy state of just wanting to be close to one another in a way that had yet to be explored. Fuck the consequences. To know what it felt like to touch one another, to love one another even just for a moment in such an intimate way was worth the risk of losing it all.

“Hey! McGee! What’s taking so long?” That's what led to this very moment. Anthony DiNozzo didn't want to disrespect a boundary you had obviously set. He didn't want to step through the threshold of your townhouse if you weren't expecting him to be there. There was an obvious reason you had given Mcgee a key but not him. He just didn't know it.

He had tried his best to wait by the car, but time was precious and you were already running late. Hence the house call. Running up your porch stairs DiNozzo clapped his hands together as he entered your home, rounding the same corner mcgee had a few moments ago.

“C’mon people—chop chop! What happened to rule number three?” To his shock he stood beside Tim who was still trying to process the sight before him. Anthony pealled his sunglasses from his eyes as he scoffed aloud. “Holy fourth of July weenie roast, what the hell am I looking at?” Stirring awake shortly after your eyes fluttered open as you tired to stretch out. Bradleys body stopping you from moving too much as his arm splayed over your waist, holding you flush against his chest. “Good Morning–” DiNozzo smirked as your eyes bugged out of your head at the sight of him and McGee standing in your living room.

“Jesus Christ!” An audible gasp left your mouth as you flailed in shock, rolling off the couch onto the ground with a thud. Leaving Bradley totally exposed.

“Oh my–” DiNozzo was quick to quip as Mcgee looked up at the roof. Raising a horrified brow as Tony  looked at you with concern. Gesturing to his own forearm in pure jealousy. “We may need to take a detour to the emergency department Mcgee.” Bradley Bradshaw was definitely blessed, but DiNozzo was over reaching just a tad. “Get the man something to cover up will you Y/n.” You were quick to throw a decorative pillow at Bradley’s junk trying to preserve whatever modesty he had left. The Thud it left against him jolted him awake with a quick snore.

“What the hell are you two doing here!?” You hissed as you gathered the nearest throw blanket, wrapping it around yourself as you threw another one Bradleys way as he stirred awake. “It's sunday!”

“Gibbs called, we got another case.” Mcgee answers as he stepped towards you, handing you the coffee he’d ordered you from the cafe downtown. “We’ll give you a moment to uh, change. meet us in the car?”

“Uh, like hell we will.” Tony scoffed again as he stepped forward, Bradley had woken up enough to realise what was going on although he stayed quiet. “One, this man who is very genetically gifted mind you has your federally issued handcuffs cuffed around his right wrist.” Fuck you’d forgotten about that. “Two, who are you and what are you doing with our Gibbs?” You could not have rolled your eyes any harder than you did as you worked to unlock the cuffs on Bradleys wrist with the key that was sitting on your coffee table.

“Uh, Yeah I’m Bradley.” You tried to say he didn't have to introduce himself like this as he rubbed his wrist, kissing you gently on the forehead. God you were so fucking embarrassed, and after such a good night too. But Tony beat you to it. His eyes wide and a cheshire cat grin evident on his face.

“You’re flyboy!” Tony bellowed through your townhouse. So enlightened with the situation that was unfolding. “Oh this is amazing, you finally made a move on flyboy!”

“Who?” Bradley turned his attention back to you as you huffed out a sigh of disbelief. Squinting your eyes shut in embarrassment as you felt the heat in your cheeks rising. Sitting beside him as he beamed your way. “Whose flyboy–?”  

“You are, well, unless there's another Bradley who she drowns on and on about.” Tony taunted as he looked around your living room. “We started calling you flyboy before Junior here slipped up and gave us a name, does not shut up about you man– we even put a jar on her desk that she has to put a dollar in everytime she mentions you or somethin about you.”

“I think that fund is single handedly paying for the staff christmas party this year, right Tony?” Mcgee just had to jump in on the fun even if just for one small jab.

“Flyboy huh?” Bradley chuckled as you hid your face in his shoulder. “That's kinda adorable.”  he’d never really known, but that was and always had been his name in your cell. Flyboy Bradshaw.

“Tony, we should go wait in the car.” Mcgee tried to be the voice of reason, but DiNozzo was having the time of his life. He never really had any dirt on you, but now? Oh this was his time to fucking shine baby. He liked you alot, as a colleague and friend. But god did he like to taunt you. It had to be fair game though, simply because your father would slap him upside to head if it wasn't.

“I'm telling Gibbs.” You stood with a look of horror as you held the throw blanket under your armpits. Coffee in one hand.

“I will shoot you in the fucking foot!” Pointing a finger DiNozzo's way you gritted your teeth. “I will tell my dad, myself.”

“I vote we don't, like at all.'' Bradley smiled nervously as he wrapped the blanket around his waist. Standing with a groan because much like you, he’d been curled up on the lounge all night after having gone another round after an impromptu snack. “Not until we at least talk?” Kissing the top of your head as he pulled you into his side, Bradley glared down the two NCIS agents that stood before him. “How about instead of flyboy you guys call me Rooster?”  sticking his hand out the shake Tony’s, Tony was quick to reciprocate the gesture by taking Bradleys frimley. “Or Lieutenant Bradhsaw.”

“There a story behind that callsign, Lieutenant?” Although you always spoke highly and alot about Bradley Bradshaw, you never really spoke all that much about Rooster. To you he was two different versions of the same man you loved. You respected him too much to go about your day telling anyone and everyone who would listen about all the nitty gritty details about his life. You would of course drown on about how much he made you laugh, his smile, activities you would get up to, if he was visiting. All that jazz. But never would you out his private life.

“Perhaps over a beer sometime?” Bradley smirked softly as he shook McGee's hand. “Although it's good to finally meet you both I feel like the circumstances could have been better and less exposing.”

“And less rushed, Gibbs we really have to go–Older, more frightening Gibbs is blowing up my cell.” Mcgee gave you a worried smile. “We’ll be in the car.” Watching as th two agents that had taken you under their wings left your home, you let out a sigh as you let your head fall into Bradleys chest. His arms came to wrap around your shoulder as you both dropped your blankets.

“I am so unbelievably sorry about that–about them.”

“Don't be.” Bradley chuckled to himself softly as he kissed your head over and over. “Just uh, promise we’ll talk after you get back?”

“Yeah, uh yeah of course, I don't know how long I'll be but my keys are in the bowl at the front door and there's gas in the tank so please feel free to do whatever.” You mentioned to Bradley as you pulled away, sipping the coffee that was just perfect. “I'm going to go get ready really really quickly and I'll be right back.” You weren't kidding, Rooster probably counted a whole three minutes before you were racing down the stairs again.

“Don't forget these.” Throwing you the handcuffs you’d used to cuff his hands behind his back last night. “I won't lie, that was a little embarrassing.” He’d managed to find his sweatpants in the time you were gone. Standing to meet you mere the front door as he handed you the key to the cuffs. “But I wouldn't mind doing that again.”

“You wanna maybe get dinner tonight? There's a really nice place a few streets down that serves really nice fusion.” Nodding, Bradley was careful as he placed the stray hairs that had fallen across your face behind your ear.

“I'd like that, yeah.” He was trying to downplay it, but his heart was doing fucking backflips right now. “It’s a date.” The horn of DiNozzo’s car interrupted before you could stay in the moment any longer.

“Alright I'm coming!” You shouted. “Don't get your knickers in a knot!” Turning back to Bradley you kissed his cheek. “See you later.”

“Bye honey, have a great day–” Bradley beamed with a tasing smirk as you ran down the stairs. You didn't know it, but the second Rooster shut your front door he was cheering. He had gotten the girl of his dreams.

“Hey, why does Mcgee have a key to your house and I don't?” Tony asked as he looked at you as you slithered across the backseat.

“I forgot he even had one honestly, he watered my plants the last time I went out of town.” You answered the all pressing question as you clipped in. “But you can sure as shit give it back after that fucking invasion of privacy.”

****~****~****~****~****~****~****~****~****~****~

Tag: @auroraboreallisfine @tigerfan24 @atarmychick007 @rosee-sensuelle @unhingedhousehold @daisyhollyxox @luckyladycreator2 @86laura11 @justanothermagicalsara

[ragingduststorm]

Love's not a competition

No, I didn't like Rebel Moon. Yes, I still wrote about 20 pages of self-insert fanfiction. I just love Atticus Noble and Kai too much, so yeah. I don't know if I'll ever post the rest, but I loved this threesome scene from the second to last chapter so much. Enjoy!

What happened so far: Y/N used to be a smuggler and in a relationship with Kai, she got imprisoned by the Imperium and both thought the other was dead. Y/N was later "found" by Atticus, he developed an unhealthy obsession with her, it was all really toxic tbh. A lot of stuff happened, now the war is over, the Imperium is no more, Atticus and Y/N live a quiet life with Kai as a frequent visitor.

Word count: ~2,1k

Warning: absolute smut fest, 18+, threesome, oral (male receiving), p in v, polyamory, a bit of voyeurism, a bit of praise Y/N uses she/her pronouns Atticus Noble post redemption arc so he's actually kinda nice (still a bit obsessive though)

Atticus arrived back at the cottage in a good mood. He’d bartered their excess of eggs and mushrooms away successfully and none of the people in the village had given him a dirty look or a mean comment. The first time in the four months he’d lived on this planet. This way of living, stationary, surrounded by nature and community, was still strange to him but it was necessary. It was either this or a cold prison cell on a distant moon. And this way, at least she was here to greet him when he came back.

His mood soured though as he saw the ship that had landed on the landing strip. Kai was back. Of course, Atticus’ luck had run out. He’d wished so hard for the ship to crash, for Kai to be stranded on an icy planet, freezing to death. But then, Y/N would have been sad and grieving. And as much as he didn’t want the other man here, her happiness was more important to him. He braced himself as he entered through the main door, reminding himself that he’d agreed to this. This way, Y/N was his. It didn’t matter that she also belonged to someone else. What he hadn’t been ready for, were the lewd noises emanating from one of the bedrooms. Moans, wet skin slapping against wet skin, the creak of the bed. At least they’d been nice enough not to use the bedroom he’d shared with her most nights. But now he just stood there, in the middle of the living room, unsure of what to do with himself. Should he just go out, take a walk? What if they still weren’t done when he came back? Atticus remembered the hours upon hours they had spent together. And even when he’d been spent, her ravenous appetite had kept them going until he was ready again. His cock throbbed with the memories.

For a second, he thought about spending the night in the barn. But he had no idea how long Kai was planning to stay before flying off into the universe again and Atticus could hardly sleep with the animals for weeks. Well, he could. He imagined it would be similar to being back in the barracks at the academy. But he really didn’t want to. This was his home too, after all. So, he quietly made his way to his bedroom and sat on the bed. His bed, their bed, it was all still very new and complicated to him. And the bad thing was, he could still hear them going at it. From her hoarse screams he could deduce that she’d come at least once and that she wasn’t anywhere close to being done. He knew that he really, really shouldn’t, but he closed his eyes and imagined she was making those noises because of him. She’d only done it last night, so it wasn’t hard to conjure up the image. When she’d sat on his face and come on his tongue. He’d practically begged her to do it. Nothing compared to her taste. And then she’d slid effortlessly onto him, all wet and tight. With some embarrassment he realized he’d been stroking himself through his pants. Yesterday he’d appreciated these loose garments for how easy they were to take off, now he hated them.

Air. That’s what he needed right now. He stood up a little too fast, too eager to escape these sounds and he felt lightheaded. His cock was still hard and throbbing, but he was determined. Until he left the bedroom and saw that the door at the end of the short hall was slightly ajar. Her screams were now muffled. Was she biting into a pillow? Into his flesh? Atticus touched the bruise on his neck she’d left last night, right at the end. Surely, they were so enraptured with each other, they wouldn’t notice if he took a quick peak. But what was he hoping to see? She would be filled by another. Someone who, admittedly, was slightly larger than he was, in more ways than one. Would he break when he saw Kai thrusting into her, his huge arms wrapped around her? Would he even see her under this hunk of a man? Still, he was curious. To see her taken by someone else. Was she different with him? More demure? Submissive? Or was she unapologetically taking what she wanted?

He'd taken a few silent steps toward the door without thinking. She screamed Kai’s name over and over. She must have been close again. Another two steps and he could see the light through the crack. If he focused hard he could make them out, two shapes made into one, Kai thrusting into her from behind, her face buried inside a pillow. Now he could make out Kai’s grunting and see the glistening beats of sweat trailing down his muscled form. Would he be able to hold on a little longer or would he come? Inside or on her back? Atticus thought of his white ropes on her. Her face, her breasts, her ass. All marking her as his. He had to palm himself through the pants because the aching was unbearable. His cock wanted nothing more than to break out and join. To hammer into her. Y/N came screaming Kai’s name. As she did, she looked up from the pillow. Right into Atticus’ eyes. He'd inadvertently made another step towards the door. He froze, unable to think of anything to do as she held his gaze with a smirk. She licked her lips absentmindedly. Kai followed her eyes as he noticed her attention was no longer on him, not completely at least.

Atticus had expected the man to be angry, to shout at him to leave them alone. Instead, he had the biggest, laziest grin on his face as he slowed his pace, now pounding into her slowly, savouring every movement. “You know you’re free to join us, right?”, he was a little out of breath but his voice was calm, like Atticus hadn’t just interrupted them during the most intimate moment imaginable. Kai’s one hand played with her backside, her ass, the spot where he disappeared into her, her asshole. Atticus felt a pang of rage and jealousy. That sweet spot he’d caressed so many times with his tongue felt, more than any other part of her, like his. Kai’s other hand slowly made its way up her body. Along her smooth skin, now slightly wet, kneading her breasts, caressing her face. Atticus realized Kai didn’t try to be possessive, he was inviting him in, showing him all the places on her that were still empty.

“I…I couldn’t, I”, Atticus stammered eloquently. Never before had he felt so much like a fool. He wanted to run, to hide away from the shame he felt. Until she said his name. “Atticus.” It was barely more than a whisper, but the need in her voice drove him crazy. He'd never been able to say no to her when she’d said his name like that. She could have anything she wanted when she said his name and he would forever give her anything he had, anything he was, just so she’d never stop saying it. “Look at that pretty mouth. All empty.” Kai’s voice was an irresistible purr now. As if in a trance, Atticus walked towards the bed, towards their eager, hungry eyes. Y/N’s gaze darted from his eyes down to the obvious bulge in her pants and she licked her lips in anticipation. She was so hungry, so desperate for him, to fill her up. As he stood at the end of the bed, Y/N reached out to cup him. His eyes closed involuntarily. And when he opened them again, she’d taken him out. His cock looked huge in her small hands and it twitched like a wild animal. He gazed along her body toward where the other man was buried inside her. The gap between them was shorter than he’d anticipated. If he’d wanted, he could hunch over and kiss him. But he lost his train of thought as Y/N’s mouth slowly descended onto him and her hand kneaded his balls. “Oh, you’re going to love this.”, Kai said, as he began thrusting into her. Slowly at first, matching the pace she set working on devouring Atticus’ cock.

He was right. Of course, Atticus has had his fingers in her mouth several times when he’d thrust into her. Or his cock in her mouth as she came on his tongue. But this was something different altogether. This was heaven. He could feel her moans reverberating from his tip all through his body. Every one of Kai’s lazy thrusts sent another wave of pleasure along her and into him. Y/N had always been good at taking him, but now it was like she didn’t even want to breathe. Again and again he hit the back of her throat, burying himself in that wetness, her teeth lightly crazing his sensitive skin. She chased him every time he moved back, her tongue greedily licking his shaft whenever he took a short break. He’d thought she’d been ravenous before, but this was something else. Saliva mixed with his own slick coated her throat, her lips, fell down in drops before she could swallow them. After a while, he realized it wasn’t her setting the pace anymore, neither was it Kai. It was Atticus. Every time he thrust back into her mouth, the other man followed. He wasn’t even sure, if Y/N had any breaks between her orgasms or if she only felt one gigantic bout of extasy. “God, you’re so tight, princess. You’re doing so well.” Kai’s words unexpectedly sent Atticus over the edge. He exploded into Y/N’s mouth before he could stop himself. He couldn’t even scream her name, his thoughts were so jumbled. And she swallowed every last drop of him without complaint. The only thing he could see in her glazed eyes was pure bliss. Once he was completely spent, she let him go with a lewd pop that sent shivers down his spine. But instead of letting him go, she caressed the top of his legs, kissing and biting his abdomen.

“I think our little princess is spent.”, Kai said with a small laugh. Y/N didn’t speak. She just hummed in agreement. Kai stopped thrusting and just stayed inside her. “Don’t you want to-“ Atticus was surprised by how exhausted he sounded. His voice almost didn’t feel like his own. “No need. I’m sure I will have ample opportunity to fill her up over the next two weeks.”, Kai said with a wink and Atticus could feel himself blushing slightly. What? Atticus Noble didn’t blush. Slowly, Kai slid out of Y/N, who commented with a mumble that sounded exhausted, but a little disappointed. “I need a shower. She climbed me the second I got off the ship.” He slapped her ass and she winced. He got off the bed with a groan and Atticus hoped he hadn’t noticed how Atticus’ stare had lingered on his still hard cock for a second. “You take care of her for me until I get back.” Kai patted him on the shoulder hard, like they were the best of mates, like they hadn’t just shared the same woman, and left for the bathroom.

Y/N was on her knees and visibly shaking from exhaustion. Atticus went to the bedside table and gave her a glass of water from the carafe that had conveniently been placed there. “Thanks.”, her voice was so hoarse, he could barely understand her. Then he helped tuck her into the bed since she was shivering. But he didn’t join. That was for Kai to do when he came back. Instead, Atticus went to his knees on the side of the bed and stroked her hair. He pressed a soft kiss on her temple and wiped some of the saliva away that was still coating her jaw. The weak smile she gave him made him want to crawl right up in bed with her. Another time. Still shaky, she put a hand on his cheeks. “I love you, Atticus.” “I love you, Y/N.” She had been right. The first time he’d said these words, they hadn’t been true. He had been obsessed with her and the way she had made him feel. But now, after everything they had been together, the war, the pain, he meant it. If this wasn’t love, then he didn’t want whatever the hell it was.

[pumpkinprice]

how about read dad john price? or older brother soap? or maybe maybe re2r leon x mother reader? 😭

okay i went with leon because im a pussy and still too scared to write the cod boys especially price 😭😭

tw: incest, leon is 22, lots of nipple sucking, jerking off, orgasm (leon)

You're watching tv when you hear the back door open and shut. Leon was home late which was getting to be the norm. “Hey, Leon.” You call out. He doesn't join you though or answer. Instead you hear him head up the stairs and shut his door. That's also the norm. Him being in an awful mood and ignoring you when he gets home.

Your son is a rookie cop at the Raccoon City Police Department and for whatever reason things have been going to shit in this town. Leon had been so excited when he joined five months ago but now he just always seems drained and angry. Guess this wasn't his dream job after all.

You hear water running and figure he's gonna take a shower and head to bed. Another norm. When you hear the water stop, you turn the tv off and head upstairs to get some sleep yourself. However, when you get upstairs, your feet lead you to his room instead. You can see light coming from the bottom of the door so you knock. “Leon? Can I come in?”

He doesn't answer and after about a minute you step into his room. He's just standing at the end of his bed with only a towel wrapped around his waist, staring off into space. “Leon, are you okay?”

He looks over at you, blinking a few times. “Yeah, Mom, sorry. Just been a weird day.”

“Do you want to talk about it? You haven't been yourself in a few weeks.” You walk over and brush a few stands of damp hair from his forehead. He stares at you and you smile, moving your fingers to his cheek. He was so damn beautiful, he took your breath away. “I miss you.”

His hand moves to your breast, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I miss you too.” His thumb brushes back and forth against your nipple and it hardens instantly. “Missed these.”

You take your shirt off, wishing you had worn a better bra but it didn't matter. Your tits look good no matter what bra you have on. Leon wastes no time pulling the cups down and cupping both of them in his hands, massaging them. You moan, eyes falling shut for a brief second. It has been months since he's touched you. “I know what my baby wants,” you whisper.

You take off your bra and toss it aside before moving over to his bed, laying down. You hold your arms out to him and he smiles so sweetly at you. “Come on, baby. Let Mommy take care of you.”

He lets his towel fall to the floor and gets onto the bed. His mouth wraps around your nipple, sucking gently. “There we go,” you whisper, putting your arms around him and running your fingers through his hair. “Take what you need.” He whimpers and sucks harder, looking up at you with those perfect blue eyes. You can feel the tension leaving his body and see his brain shut off as he suckles. This whole thing started a few months after Leon got into the police academy. It was supposed to be just a stress reliever for him but naturally it ended up leading to other things.

After spending a few more minutes on your left nipple, he moves to the right. His eyes close as he sucks it blissfully. He spends an equal amount of time on that nipple before switching back. He alternates back and forth for awhile, sometimes having you squeeze your tits together so he can suck both. You murmur encouragingly, wishing so bad that you were swollen with milk so you could really take care of him.

But when you see his hips start to move as he humps the mattress, you give his hair a small tug. “Are you going to cum? Where does your cum go?” You ask softly, but firmly.

He pulls away from your nipple and his smile melts your heart. “On mommy or in one of her holes.”

“That's right, my love.” You squeeze your breasts together and Leon grins before quickly straddling your waist. He gives his cock long firm strokes, his tip looking angry and red. “There we go. All over Mommy’s tits. Just how she likes."

“Mommy, fucking feels so good.. fuck- fucking love your tits so much.” He pants, fucking his fist faster.

He groans loudly, both of you watching the thick ropes of cum land on your nipples and breasts. He runs his tip in it, smearing his cum so your nipples are completely coated. When you let go of your breasts it's less than a second before Leon has his greedy mouth back on your nipple.

He will do this for hours if you let him. And you will.

[darkestspring]

Hello. Yandere is a yandere for husband Viserys 1 and childrens, mother. Maybe we should add Velaryons and Daemon to this team, even Hightowers. Suppose Viserys1 never married Aemma. Dear Reader and yandere Viserys' children, Baelon (born before Rhaenyra), Rhaenyra, Aegon, Halaena, Aemond, Daeron. (Alicent and Viserys never married and all their children were born to the beloved wife.) Readere is just when I think about how all of these children will be obsessed with their mothers. I wish Reader luck. Do you think Viserys would have loved Aegon, Helaena, Aemond, and Daeron and would have been good fathers, since they were born from a beloved wife? Would Aegon be normal?

i cannot tell you how much i absolutely love concepts. as much as i love yandere parents, i also love kids going yandere to protect their mother.

Your marriage to your cousin Viserys, had been arranged by the time you were both teenagers, he had always been a good person towards you, caring and comforting.

You marriage went smoothly, you worked well together but there were those instances were you had doubts. Maids went missing when you got very close to them, so you tried not to anymore.

With the birth of you birth child, Baelon, the second of his name. He was your joy, the realm rejoiced.

When your grandfather died, a few months after Baelon was born, it had been decided by the council that Viserys would be king, you felt bad for Rhaenys, you think she'd make an excellent queen.

You welcomed your second child only a year after, Rhaenyra. A beautiful girl that had cried everytime she was away from you. Something that made you laugh.

You had been so busy, you didn't have you next child until over a decade later, much to both of your childrens disapproval. Viserys had been overjoyed, he spent his time talking to your swollen stomach.

Even his hand, Otto Hightower and her daughter seemed to be overjoyed and they congradulated you greatly.

"My, My. You grow big." Daemon had mused when he saw you with a playful tone, making you swat at him in jest. "Oh no! Viserys! Physical abuse!"

"You're the worst." You had laughed at Daemon as Viserys laid his hand on your nearly bursting stomach, his eyes filled with mirth.

You had welcomed twins shortly after that. Aegon and Helaena, your lovely babies. You had actually hissed at Viserys when he tried to take Aegon from you. It was amusing later on.

Aegon and Helaena grew up to be children who followed you everywhere, much like Baelon and Rhaenyra had when they were babies.

"Mama! Up!" Aegon would declare when you got close enough. He likes to be held so he could lay his head on your chest and sleep.

"Me too! Up, Mama!" Helaena would always join in, not letting her older twin brother best her.

It wasn't even a year later that you were pregnant again and it had made Rhaenyra roll her eyes.

You urged Viserys to start thinking of Baelon and Rhaenyra's future. To let them choose who they wanted to marry.

You had the same conversation with your children, as you had finally escaped your husbands grip.

"You must choose brides and grooms, but ones you like, ones you will choose to spend the rest of your lives with, like your father and I."

"I want to marry Alicent!" Rhaenyra had protested and you had smoothed her hair back. You knew of her affection for her dear friend, the daughter of the hand.

"I know, my love." You soothed her. "If you wish to keep her close, perhaps marrying someone who would not mind is best. Your spouse will be a prince. Think on it."

Baelon had already made up his mind, asking Rhaenys and Corlys for their daughter, Laena's hand in marriage. Laena would be the queen, that thought made her feel more easy. Laena was a lovely child. Wise and kind.

You gave birth to another boy, your beloved Aemond. He had been such a small thing. With his valyrian features and his attachment to his egg.

You had loved all of your children from the second you knew of them, they were your prides and joys. Aegon grew up to prefer being with you than attending his lessons. You had settled on teaching him everything he could learn from his teacher, your sworn protector, Ser Atlas.

Rhaenyra had married Harwin Strong and you had watched as Alicent, Rhaenyra and Harwin exchanged gazes, a smile on your face.

You last child, you beloved Daeron had been born the same year as your daughter's eldest son Jacaerys.

You were somewhat used to protectiveness but your children took it to a whole new level, at least one child was with you at all times, it was usually one of your four younger children but sometimes the dark glares that rhaenyra and baelon set on lord who got too close were not lost on you.

Viserys had all the love in the world for his children, never depriving them of anything they wishes. When Aemond's egg had not hatched, you both had taken him to dragonstone to claim a dragon. He had claimed Vermithor and you had never been prouder of him. His proud smile as he looked back at you still makes your heart swell.

Even after Baelon was crowned, after your dear viserys decided he wanted to retire on dragonstone with you to live out the rest of your lives. He demanded you be addressed as Queen Mother, the respect you deserve. Of course, your four youngest demanded to move with you, pouts on their faces as Helaena held onto your arm and how could you say no.

It was easy to look past their obsessiveness over you, you would always love them. they're your babies. your pride and joys. Your loves.