#spending a whole evening with two young children who barely know me even tho they’re my nieces

[aro-aizawa]

everytime i wait with baited breath for exhaustion to hit as i lay in the pitch black, an eye mask covering the top of my eyelids, i watch the clock tick ever further and know i just wrecked a perfectly good sleep schedule for no reason other than my brain was too wired to sleep

[vidimillion]

Jasico in Atlantis/Treasure Planet &/or Pirates AU?? Mostly just thinking about that fantasy treasure huntin' adventure flavor...

it took a while for me to get the time to write this and even longer to get the inspo for it. honestly was a blast to think up tho. thanks for the req!

jason grace is the son of the king, groomed to one day be the one to take the throne. whether he liked it or not.

the young prince was the king's ideal son— handsome, smart, athletic, kind... the picture perfect image of a leader. a young man who liked to read stories about adventure and ride horseback into the kingdom, where he'd look at the other kids his age, playing around.

look. look, and never join.

his older sister thalia, the ex-crown princess, has not been seen since jason was a little kid. at least, not officially, because in reality she had been visiting her baby brother in secret for years. she'd been on the run the whole time, but always found a way to come back to her brother.

jason loves her, he does, but he resents her a little for leaving the pressure of the kingdom (and their father) on him. though every time he asks her, she only smiled at him and whispered, "don't worry about anything. I have a plan."

he never understood what she meant. he wanted to believe her, but as his eighteenth birthday and thus his coronation grows closer, he still doesn't even know what he's supposed to be believing in.

a few weeks shy of his coronation, thalia asks him to meet her at the beach three days before the big day. he never expects her visits, them being few and far between, so her setting a schedule was a surprise to him. he worries about being caught, with their father doubling down on security as the coronation draws closer. she insists though, and jason yields. three days before his coronation, he sneaks out to go to the beach, but she isn't there.

he walks around for a little while, trying to look for her, and for a second he worries that she was caught by someone while she was waiting for him. before he can begin to freak out, he hears a low hum in the distance. he walks around the beach, by the rocks, and decides to try the cliff to find the source of it. by the time the cliff is in view, the humming starts to sound like a baritone song. his mind doesn't think to question it, doesn't recognize anything amiss, and before he realizes it he's running for the cliff's edge and he's staring straight down into the sea.

when he wakes up, it takes his hearing a while to come back, and the first thing he notices is the moon is still high in the sky.

"—lure him into the water, I didn't want you to make him jump off a cliff!"

that voice sounds like thalia, jason thought, the first coherent thing he's conceptualized in a while.

"I can't help where he goes, I just tell him to go!"

that sounds like the voice he heard before he jumped.

"hey, he's awake."

that voice sounds... hot.

jason's eyes open to a black-haired, olive-skinned boy with a jawline that could cut fucking glass. he mumbles groggily, "Did I die?"

Hot Guy smiles like jason told him a half-funny joke, "Why do you think you did?"

jason groaned like he was both in pain and was immensely tired. "You look like an angel."

that was definitely not the answer Hot Guy expected, because he immediately flushes red and sputters. jason's eyes focus behind the Hot Guy and sees thalia wolf whistling at him, and a fucking siren with a long sea-green tail bursting into laughter. "You're not dead Jay," thalia says, "but we're definitely very far from home."

(more under the cut. like a lot more.)

apparently, his beloved sister became a fucking pirate after running away. jumping from ship to ship, she’d been gaining a reputation for herself before pledging her loyalty to one of the most formidable pirate crews on the seven seas (and the only one that's all-female). the 'plan' she'd had, that she'd foreshadowed for almost years, was just to get her half-siren friend percy (who can apparently go from siren to human form at will, which jason thinks is awesome) to lure jason into the sea where they could get him.

jason politely admits that it sounds super stupid. thalia does agree, but enforces the fact that it did work.

the ship jason is currently on is apparently, percy's. he's the captain of a crew of five, six if you include him, named hazel, frank, leo, piper and annabeth. thalia just likes to visit sometimes.

they're tiny, and they're all very young, but jason's doubts about their capabilities vanish once percy tells him that people call them the six. jason's heard of them, obviously— his father has been trying to catch them for months now. his father was already furious knowing he wasn't able to capture a crew so small in size, imagine what would happen if he found out the oldest one of all of them is nineteen.

jason, on his first few days on the ship, feels numb. thalia had percy set him up in the med bay, at the back of the ship where the only thing he can hear is the crash of water. he thinks about his kingdom, his father— what was he going to do without an heir? what was the kingdom going to do without a king? he feels relieved, he feels guilty, he feels like he's failing the one thing he was born to do and feels like he has a chance to pick what he wants to do.

jason closes his eyes, thinking, and doesn't notice someone had come in until a cold hand lays on his forehead. he jolts his eyes open and it's nico, the Hot Guy who was with thalia and percy. nico tells him he was just checking jason's temperature and he turns to leave, but jason stops him and asks him to stay. there was "no" already on the tip of his tongue, but jason didn't stand for it. nico desisted, only to wonder why jason was so adamant about making him stay.

jason asks why percy didn't call him a part of the crew. hesitantly, nico tells him it's because he isn't. he's not an official pirate of any crew, and instead runs around ship to ship and coast to coast, either striking deals with the more reasonable pirates or taking out crews of them all on his own.

jason asks him why he keeps moving around like that. as a short answer, nico tells him it's for his father's work. jason feels like there's more to it than that, but he doesn't push.

the medicine thalia insisted he take was making him a little loopy. he barely recalls what he was saying, but apparently it was stupid enough to make nico laugh and respectful enough to make him stay. the medicine doesn't make him too loopy for very long, just a few hours, but the next night when jason found himself wanting company again, he played stupid so nico would stay with him.

(hazel, nico's half sister and apparently the only reason he sometimes travels with their ship for a few days, was the one in charge of taking care of him while he was forcefully bedridden. he realized she knew what he was doing when all three of them were talking one day and she gave him a thumbs-up behind nico's back.)

nico leaves once jason's off bed rest. he asks hazel whether or not she knows when they're gonna pick him up again, and she tells him the week and a half he was there with them was actually the longest time he's ever stayed.

he keeps asking for a while after nico's left. after four weeks, he stops asking.

six months later, they pick nico up again at a bustling port. it's also the same port where jason decides to leave.

jason spends the first night off the ship in a warm little inn, but he doesn't sleep. he thinks he really should sleep more when he didn't realize a fucking intruder got into his room until he heard the soft thump of their feet on the floor. he gets into a melee battle with the black-hooded figure, still quick on his feet even though he hasn't slept in weeks, but eventually the intruder has him pinned down to the nearest flat surface. jason almost bites them before the figure rips off their mask to reveal— it's just nico.

somehow, they end up sitting on the roof of the inn, sharing a bottle of wine nico denies he stole but jason absolutely knew he did.

nico asks jason why he decided to leave the crew, even after getting so irreversibly close with all of them— which he knows jason did.

jason answers that by telling him about his kingdom, back across at least three seas by now. he tells nico about how the town square shines gold almost all hours of the day and glows even at twilight, but the further you get from the kingdom gates the more you see filthy alleys and dirty children. he tells nico about the times he'd go into town in disguise and see how many horrendous things are happening, then eavesdrop on council meetings and figure out why.

he also tells nico about his father, and he keeps it as brief as he can but nico understands what he means.

he tells nico he has to go back, get his kingdom and his crown no matter what chaos he knows would've erupted. he thinks of the councilmen, of dukes and lords he knows will be doing anything for a chance at the throne, now that the crown prince is missing. he tells nico about them, then he tells nico about his people, and he doesn't need to tell nico the rest to know he gets it.

nico still asks why he has to be the one to go back, when on the sea he has percy, piper, leo, thalia, freedom. in return, jason asks why nico is always running.

because i have to, is the answer to both their questions. maybe i'm wrong, but i think i have to.

three days later, after additional goodbyes and promises to write, they start a journey back to jason's kingdom. jason tells nico he shouldn't come, that it'll be a journey of peril that won't get any easier when they do get to the kingdom— nico just glares at him and continues to pack two horses even more aggressively. jason relents.

so now it's just the two of them, both running back and running away, but at least this time they've got a friend.

[tcpimpabutterfly]

DATING SHIP MEME

Status: Accepting

@bulletballet​ said: 😭 for whatever ships of ours that u feel like writing out!

where they first met and how: In English class at school. Nick bothered her for homework one day and the rest is history.

how long their ‘flirting’ phase was before feelings got involved: The entirety that their class read and did work relating to The Great Gatsby, so I’d say for a good 2-3 weeks maybe even a whole month.

who fell for who first ( if applicable ): Janie always thought Nick was cute, but I feel like Nick was the one who actually developed feelings beyond a silly crush but Janie wasn’t too far behind.

where their first date was and what it was like: I forgot the name of the restaurant you sent me with the pretty decor, but it was there! The date was honestly really awkward and that was mostly because of Janie. She sat there stiff as a board the whole time and hardly talked because she was so nervous. They most likely already had their first kiss at this point too, but the butterflies in her stomach kept her from acting out.

who asks who out and how ( with a sign? spelled out on a cake? just a simple ‘will you go out with me’? ): Nick definitely asked Janie out first and it definitely happened when he was walking her home one day. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was right after their first kiss.

who proposes first: Nick! Matter of fact he’s probably the only one who ever brings up marriage in their relationship.

if they keep / kept their relationship secret or let everyone know right away: Flash forward to endgame Nick and Janie, Janie wanted the relationship to stay a secret just incase things didn’t work out between them again, but of course Nick had to announce it to his whole family and next thing you know the women in Cassandra’s salon was congratulating her on her new relationship. 

where the proposal happens and how ( kiss cam at a baseball game? on a hillside surrounded by ducks? at a disney park? ): I can see Nick being a little extra and setting up a dinner with his whole family and proposing to her then. Would she say yes??.....idk!

if they adopt any pets together: Why adopt when chowder can have more puppies that’ll go on to harrass Nick and Jerrold?

who’s more dominant: Please, power play is a big thing between these two. 

where their first kiss was and what it was like: It happened the night Janie met Nick’s whole family for the first time. He walked her home like the true gentleman he is and she felt bad for telling him that she didn’t talk to her mom about him, so she gave him a kiss goodbye to make up for it.

if they have any matching couples stuff ( mugs? sweaters? pillowcases? ): Besides those gold necklaces Janie bought them all those years ago, I feel like they had matching varsity jackets or something like that when they were younger too. Something tells me young Janie would get Nick’s initals tattooed somewhere like on her leg or wrist.

how into pda they are: Janie hates it. She can barely stand private affection so she tries to avoid pda at all cost, but of course Nick just has to give her little pecks or hugs every now and then when they’re out.

who holds the umbrella when it rains: Nick cause he’s a gentleman like that.

where their usual ‘date spot’ is ( if applicable ): I feel like even as adults they still visit that restaurant they had their first date at often.

who’s more protective: Nick 100% homeboy was ready to deal with another anchor just for disagreeing with and dismissing Janie’s opinion.

how long it is before they sleep together ( can be as in ‘had sex’ or as in ‘shared a bed’ ): If Nick wasn’t in and out of jail as a youngin it wouldn’t have been that long, but I feel like they really honestly didn’t have sex with each other until they were in their early 20s. As for sharing a bed, not until their recent age of 40-something which is kinda crazy to think about.

if they argue about anything: Any and everything. 

who leaves more marks ( lipstick, hickeys, scratchmarks etc. ): Nick. When then leads to arguments early in the morning at 3am with Janie screaming about how she has to cover them up for work now.

who steals whose clothes and how often: Janie did a lot back when they were younger. I just know she has a bootleg Bart Simpson shirt in the back of her closet til this day.

how they cuddle ( spooning? facing each other? ): Janie likes to lay her head slightly on Nick’s chest with his arms wrapped around her torso. It makes her feel safe, she won’t admit that tho!

how long they stay mad at each other: I mean the longest has been years, but with Nick out of jail and constantly bothering her even if she is mad at him; her tangents only last for a week or 2 now.

what their usual coffee / tea orders are: Something tells me they both like dark roast coffee. Something strong that helps keep them up.

if they ever have any children together: Heh, Letita and Levi are cannon in some verse of theirs.

if they have any special pet names for each other: Though it’s not a nickname mutually exclusive to Janie, sometimes when she’s feeling particularly fond of him (which isn’t too often) she’ll follow the footsteps of his family and call him Nicky.

if they ever split up and / or get back together: PLEASE, do I even need to go into detail?

what their shared living space is like ( messy? clean? what kind of decor? ): Neat with a side of messede up whenever Janie lets Nick lounge around for too long, but even he knows better and cleans up behind himself.

what their first christmas / hanukkah / etc as a couple was like: Technically they didn’t spend New Years or Christmas day with each other, but they did hang out around that time to make up for it as teens. I’d say it was pretty magical and one they’ll never forget even as adults since that’s when Janie gifted him their necklaces and made a little Nick tear up from joy.

what their names are in each other’s phones: Nick’s number isn’t even saved in Janie’s phone because she’s terrible like that LMAO. but I feel like Nick has her name saved under ‘Janie G.’ with a heart by it or something.

if they have any ‘couple traditions’ ( buying a new mug for their collection every year? baking every friday evening? ): 

who falls asleep first and who wakes up first: Even though Janie wakes up way earlier for work, Nick is always falling asleep on her early! She’s the first one to wake uo because work requires her to get up really early.

who’s the big spoon / little spoon: Janie prefers being the little spoon. It makes her feel safe.

who hogs the bathroom: Janie. She has to make herself look presentable for tv!

who kills the spiders / takes them outside: They both kill spiders because they’re kinda evil like that. I feel like Nick tries to turn it into some learning lesson and talk abt how the spider trespassed on territory that wasn’t his and got killed in the end and Janie is just like “....Shut the hell up 😐”

[shima-draws]

Remember that one episode in Gravity Falls where Stan loses a bet to Mabel and does that stan-wrong-dance?? Can you write a drabble where Ford finds the footage pls the imagery is so freaking funny lmao

[[Send me a fandom/ship/prompt and I’ll write a drabble for it!]]

I’M SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG BUT I FINALLY FINISHED…I had a total blast writing it tho!!

I kinda took your prompt and went way beyond the original concept anjsakbnda so there’s some angst in here because Stan’s a self-sacrificial idiot and Ford almost loses his shit, but I hope you like it nonetheless :’)

Also this ended up being nearly 4k words so. Yeah. That’s why it took so long LOL but hopefully you got more than what you asked for!

This is also on Archive, if you’d rather read it there!

——————————————————–

Ford is absolutely furious.

Now, he’s no stranger to anger, having fallen victim to it many, many times throughout his life. His bouts of rage usually result in catastrophe if he isn’t careful. A prime example: letting Stan get kicked out of the house forty years ago. Or, when his irritation caused a fight between them that ended up in Stan’s permanently scarred shoulder and his own thirty year trip into the multiverse. It’s never simple and it usually doesn’t end well, especially if Stan happens to be on the other side of the argument.

This time, however, is a bit different.

It’s one thing if his brother has done something to piss him off. It’s another if Stanley does something so unbelievably stupid it scares the absolute shit out of Ford. He doesn’t like being angry. He doesn’t like being angry as a result of him being terrified even more.

And so, he’s taken to pacing in his study, trying to let off some steam. He’d separated himself from Stan after lecturing at him for twenty-five minutes about the very many reasons why Stan shouldn’t have charged right into battle against a particularly violent group of bullasps (an enormous wasp-bull anomaly hybrid, helpfully named by Mabel). Stan had come this close to being pierced by one of their enormous stingers—and if he had, well. The venom they secrete works so quickly Ford doubts he would have been able to do anything about it in time. And that is what had triggered his hysteria.

Mabel sits on one of the oversized chairs in the room, munching on a bag of popcorn. She’d followed him after his frustration had shot through the ceiling, needing to get away before he said anything he’d come to regret. Dipper had stayed behind to admonish Stan further, but not as harshly as Ford originally had.

It’s been almost a year since Ford and Stan left Gravity Falls to travel the world together. They’ve had plenty of arguments and heated late night discussions on board the Stan O’ War II, but they’d never escalated to this level. The two of them hashed out all of their past history and mistakes, and they’ve been attached at the hip ever since—but Stanley’s always had a bit of a reckless steak, and Ford will never admit it, but he’s unbelievably overprotective of his twin, especially after the whole shooting-him-with-a-memory-gun thing. (They try not to talk about that, much, mostly because it makes Ford feel so guilty it brings him to tears, and Stan hates seeing him like that.) This sort of takes the cake for every previous situation where Stan has willingly put himself in danger on their journey out at sea. Ford can’t remember the last time he’s felt so high strung.

“I just can’t believe him,” Ford hisses, his fingers tangled in his hair. His heart is still pounding, fear spiking through his veins and making him as taught as a bowstring. “Out of all the reckless, most monumentally moronic—”

“I know you’re upset, Grunkle Ford, but we took care of it!” Mabel points out, trying to be helpful. She does sound worried, though, if her expression has anything to say about it. “Those things ran right off after I used that cannon to shoot that t-shirt into the woods! Who knew bullasps are actually attracted to red things? I thought regular bulls hated the color red!”

Ford can’t help but smile a bit at her observation. “Actually, regular bulls are red-green colorblind, Mabel. It’s not that they particularly dislike the color red, it’s the action of a matador moving their cape that stimulates hyper aggression in—wait, wait, that’s not the point!” He heaves out a sigh. He turns to her and frowns. “Do you—do you even know why I’m so furious with Stanley right now?”

Mabel makes a funny sound with her mouth, her legs kicking back and forth, and then she answers. “‘Cause he shook his butt at them and told them to shove it where the sun don’t shine?”

Ford groans and pinches the bridge of his nose. Could Stan have any less tact? The children are almost 14 now, but still.

“That’s part of it,” he grumbles. “But it’s his insistence on constantly throwing himself headlong into danger before even considering the consequences of doing so. Stanley is—he’s ridiculously defensive of his family, which isn’t a bad quality to have at all, but…it gets him into unnecessary trouble. A lot.”

Mabel looks truly concerned now, which is good. “Is that why you looked like Dipper in the middle of a Wendy crisis when Grunkle Stan almost got hit by one of those super giant sharp and pointy stingers?”

Ford considers telling her that the venom would have killed Stanley in minutes, but then decides he should probably spare her those morbid details.

“Yes. It would have been…very catastrophic if he’d actually come into contact with one.” Ford slumps, suddenly feeling exhausted. “I’ve come this close to losing him once, I…the mere thought of possibly losing him again, and him ending up somewhere I couldn’t ever possibly reach…”

His throat tightens and he feels pressure building behind his eyelids. Emotion makes his heart feel like it’s being constricted, squeezed tight, and he swallows. He’d gone half his life without his brother and he regrets every single minute he didn’t spend by Stanley’s side. Almost losing him to Bill was a huge wake up call, and Ford’s barely been without him since then.

“So that’s why you’re so frowny,” Mabel chirps. Ford can’t tell if she’s totally oblivious to the seriousness of the situation or if she’s just trying to act upbeat for his sake—but he appreciates it either way. “You were pretty scared for him, huh, Grunkle Ford?”

Ford wipes his eyes and nods wordlessly. In the past he might have brushed her off but he knows better now—his family is the most important thing he has, and confiding in them when times are difficult is usually the best course of action.

The young teen hums thoughtfully, scratching her chin, and then her eyes practically light up.

“Wait, hold on! I have an idea,” she says excitedly. Her smile turns wicked. Oh, no. Ford knows that look. He’s been on the receiving end of it many times before.

“Grunkle Ford, have you seen the Stan Wrong Song?”

Ford tilts his head. “The…what?”

Mabel giggles insanely. “The Stan Wrong Song! It’s a song we forced Grunkle Stan to sing after he lost a bet to me.”

“Stanley lost a bet.”

“Uh-huh!”

“To you.” If Ford didn’t know her so well, he’d think she was lying. It’s extremely hard to believe, knowing how brilliant his twin is in the conning department.

Her grin becomes wider, if that’s even possible. Her braces glint in the dim light. “We bet to see who could make more money—me, taking over Grunkle Stan’s position as a morally ambiguous tour guide, or him on vacation. And I won the bet by a dollar! A dollar, Grunkle Ford!”

“Incredible,” Ford breathes, shaking his head.

“We made him sing it at least thirty-six times,” his nibling tells him. She really could give Stan a run for his money with how mischievous she is.

“Or, wait, maybe it was thirty-eight? Anyway, it was a whole lot! We were all singing it for weeks. The power of catchy made up songs prevailed! Grunkle Stan says he hates it, but I hear him singing it in the bathroom sometimes when he thinks I can’t hear him!”

The older man chuckles at that, amused.

“Anyway,” Mabel sing-songs. “Since Grunkle Stan was a dumb-dumb and almost got speared today and scared the bejeebers out of all of us, I think this is a good opportunity to bust that video out and give him a good ol’ dose of shame!”

“You truly are a peculiar girl, Mabel,” Ford says in wonder.

The brunette beams at this, her smile almost blinding.

“Come on,” she says, grabbing his wrist. Her grip is surprisingly strong, and so is the way she tugs him along with her. “It’s payback time! Revenge tastes sweet, like gummy worms!”

——————————————————–

Ten minutes later they’re seated together in the living room, prepared for the show. Mabel has already plugged her phone into the TV, which can broadcast anything she wants, thanks to a helpful little device Fiddleford had made for the family a while back. (It definitely helped when Ford wanted to show off all the videos he’d taken while he and Stan were out at sea on a larger screen for the whole family to watch.)

Stan is nowhere to be seen—which Ford supposes is a good sign as any. He’d rather not have Stan confiscate Mabel’s phone before Ford even gets to watch whatever the young girl is intent on showing him. Dipper’s probably still keeping watch over Stan, so that’s reassuring. He’s sure that there’s nobody more capable of watching his twin, except maybe Soos.

Mabel is practically vibrating in her seat, posture tense with excitement, and Ford fidgets. He’s honestly not sure what to expect—but when the video finally loads and the first thing he sees is Stan in a neon orange track suit covered with sparkles, Ford blinks in shock. He definitely didn’t expect that.

His twin looks like he’d rather be chased by a horrendous monster of the deep than perform in front of the camera, and the deadpan expression on his face has Ford releasing an amused snort.

Stan glances offscreen, gruff and irritated. “Ugh, l-look, I’m not gonna—”

Mabel’s voice interjects before he can finish protesting. “Do it!”

Stan begins to bounce as a song plays in the background. He looks so goofy doing it that Ford starts to giggle a little, the stress of the day rolling off his shoulders.

“I’m Stan and I was wrong.” Stan sings, dryly, with all the emotion of a desert cactus. “I’m singing the Stan Wrong Song.”

Something in Ford breaks, then—and he’s laughing, incredulously, sort of struck dumb by the whole situation. Mabel sniggers beside him. Stan starts to swing his arms, and Ford wheezes. His brother looks so foolish. Ford is absolutely reveling in it. (He’s so using this for blackmail material later.)

“I shouldn’t have taken that chance. Now here’s my remorseful dance,” Stan finishes, pouty and clearly embarrassed.

“Do the kicks!” Mabel’s voice calls out again, and Stan makes a feeble attempt at performing a kick, to which she demands them to be “Jazzier!”

It’s when Gompers comes in and starts a tug of war match with Stan that’s one for the history books that Ford loses it completely. The entire thing is just so wild and hysterical that he can’t help it, clutching at his side as he laughs and laughs and laughs. The video resets, going back to the beginning, and Ford happily sits through it again.

By the time the video loops for the fifth round Ford is howling with laughter, nearly bowled over by the force of it. His side has a stitch and it hurts and he’s pretty sure he’s crying but he can’t stop, too overwhelmed at the hilarity of his brother in a sparkly suit singing a song clearly meant to humiliate him—and maybe it’s the fact that Stan had had another close brush with death earlier and the built up tension from the incident that has him letting it all out through his chortles. Mabel is giggling madly beside him—whether she’s laughing at Stan or laughing at him laughing at Stan is unclear, but it’s contagious, and Ford can’t stop smiling.

God, how utterly ridiculous this all is. He loves his family.

The video is on its eighth loop and Ford is pretty sure he’s going to pass out from lack of oxygen when Stan bursts into the room, his eyes wide. Dipper follows close behind.

“What’s going on in—Ford?!”

Stan rushes over to him, his face drawn up in concern, and Ford’s heart melts a little. He might still be angry at his twin for scaring him half to death, but really, Stan’s mother hen tendencies never fail to make him smile.

“Ford—Jesus, you’re cryin’, Sixer! What the hell happened?”

Ford giggles and wipes the tears from his eyes, struggling to get his breathing back under control. “I’m—ahaha! I’m fine, Stanley.”

“With all the noise you were making, I thought you were dying,” Stan says with a worried frown. “It sounded like you were in pain or—”

Ford playfully rolls his eyes and nudges him in the shin with his foot.

“Now you know how I feel.”

Once he finally settles down, and when Mabel’s tittering fades, Stan finally registers the video playing behind him. His face immediately goes ash white, his expression quickly morphing into one of utter horror, and if Ford weren’t so wiped out by nearly laughing his ass into unconsciousness he’d probably start doing it again.

Dipper sees what they’re watching and he snorts, covering his mouth to hide any further giggles from coming out.

"Mabel, pumpkin?”

Mabel is the picture of pure innocence, her smile sickly sweet. “Yes, Grunkle Stan?”

“Either I’m having memory issues again or I swear I made you promise me in confidence that you would never ever show this video to Ford,” Stan says, slowly. His grin is wide and almost terrifying. If Ford didn’t know how much Stan loves Mabel he would have thought his twin was seriously considering strangling her. “And what did you do?”

“I showed the video to Ford,” Mabel says, looking shameful. She twirls a piece of long brown hair around her finger. Ford chokes back a bark of laughter at how well she’s pulling this off.

“Don’t be too hard on her, Stan,” Ford soothes in an attempt to curb his brother’s embarrassment. “She was only trying to help.”

Stan simply pouts, and suddenly all Ford can see is a young boy, cheeks bright red from the sun, childishly complaining about having to wear glasses because he thinks it’ll make him look like a nerd. Something warm blooms inside Ford’s chest and he bites his cheek, trying not to get lost in the memory of their childhood.

“How is this helping anything,” Stan mumbles, his cheeks flushing a charming shade of pink.

“It’s teaching you some humility,” Ford states, crossing his arms. “Maybe you should sing it again, Stanley.”

“What?!” His twin barks in outrage.

“He does have a point, Grunkle Stan,” Dipper provides helpfully from where he’s now lounging on the couch with Mabel. The video continues to loop, much to Stan’s chagrin. “You did do something wrong today.”

“Wh—are you still on about that? My god,” Stan groans, throwing his head back. “I was trying to be, ya know, heroic! Live up to my title.”

Ford is tempted to kick him again, but harder. His glare makes the other man wilt slightly.

“You already live up to your title, Stan,” Ford points out. “You don’t have to throw yourself in front of a beast with a toxicity level of 94 percent to prove that.”

“94? Holy crow, that’s high,” Dipper squeaks.

“You’ve already saved the world and paid the price for it once,” Ford continues. He slumps a bit in his chair, the exhaustion of the day finally catching up to him. “Please, Stan, you have to understand—there’s no point in trying to protect us if we lose you in the process. It’s just…just…” And he shakes his head, frustrated that he can’t put it into words properly.

“Okay, alright,” Stan says sheepishly, edging closer to where he’s sitting. “I get it. I didn’t mean to scare ya. It’s just habit for me to be self-sacrificial at this point.”

“That’s a terrible habit!” Mabel accuses.

“She’s right,” Ford mumbles. “If you hadn’t…if that stinger had come into contact, you would have…and then I…I…” He chokes up, his eyes watering. His heart clenches painfully, fear making his body feel like it’s encased in ice. “If I lost you…”

“Hey, easy there on the waterworks, Poindexter,” Stan teases lightly. He holds his hands out in a pacifying gesture. “I’m fine, see? Still in one piece. Mostly.”

“This isn’t funny, Stanley! How can you still refuse to comprehend—ugh!”

Ford is nearly tearing his hair out in frustration now, his teeth grinding together. Seriously, how can his brother still be such an idiot? He thought the lecturing and the clear distress the rest of the family is expressing would be enough to make Stan realize, but—

Stan folds his arms, huffing, and Ford notes that his face is coloring again. Mabel and Dipper gaze at him curiously, and before Ford can question his twin, Stan releases a soft, irritated noise from his throat.

“I’m Stan and I was wrong,” Stan mutters.

Ford blinks in shock.

The other man sighs, a deep-sounding one that slackens his posture. “I’m singing…the Stan Wrong Song.”

Mabel makes a high-pitched keen of excitement, and Dipper grins. Ford almost falls right out of his chair.

He isn’t sure what’s more surprising—Stan willingly putting his pride on the line, or begrudgingly singing about his mistake in front of the family, who he knows are more than capable of holding this against him.

“I shouldn’t have taken that chance…”

Stan edges closer until he’s standing over Ford, his cheeks the color of a ripe apple.

“I’m sorry, okay? Now will you please forgive me already?”

Something lodges itself in Ford’s throat, and his whole body feels as if it’s being flooded with warmth. Even after all this time, Stan still puts his want for Ford’s forgiveness over everything else. His heart glows.

“Stanley…”

“Don’t gimme that look,” Stan grumbles, refusing to meet his eyes.

The older twin beams and launches himself out of his chair, scooping his brother up in a hug.

“Wh—Ford?!”

Ford nuzzles happily into Stan’s hair, grinning wide.

“Thank you, Stanley.”

“What! You cannot leave me out of this family hug action!” Mabel cries, leaping off the couch to run over and throw her arms around her Grunkles’ legs.

“Squeeeeze!” She says, squeezing them tight. Ford laughs jubilantly and Stan rolls his eyes, but there’s a smile that refuses to go away on his face.

Mabel presses her nose into Stan’s leg for a moment, and then she looks over her shoulder at Dipper.

“Come on, Dippin Dots, you know you want in on this!”

Dipper rolls his eyes but slides off the couch nonetheless, coming over to circle them before ending up beside Ford in the group hug.

The young girl starts giggling, a happy, wonderful sound that makes Ford’s heart swell like a balloon. He feels all sorts of fuzzy, the euphoria of being with the people he loves the most—and with his twin, his other half, the person who almost gave his life for him today—making him burst into merry laughter as well. Soon enough Dipper joins them, and finally, Stan is roped into it, their laughter too contagious to ignore.

When they finally all calm down, Ford nudges his head against Stan’s temple. So maybe he’s feeling a bit clingy now, so what?

“Next time you do something like that again I will sneak horrifying body-altering concoctions into your coffee,” Ford tells him way too cheerfully for someone who’s threatening possible disfiguration.

“Yikes, Sixer. What sort of crap did you learn how to do on the other side of that portal?”

“I know how to disembody someone in a total of 103 unique ways,” Ford responds brightly while he rubs his cheek against Stan’s shoulder, hiding a grin into his shirt.

Much to his delight, Stan stiffens beneath him, and Ford almost laughs.

“Remind me not to get on your bad side,” Stan gruffs, patting him on the back. He pauses. “…Again.”

“Hey,” Dipper playfully elbows Stan. “Grunkle Stan, you didn’t finish.”

Mabel’s entire face lights up, and her smile is blinding—and devilish. “Oh, that’s right! You didn’t finish, Grunkle Stan! You have to commit to it all the way!”

Stan looks down at them, puzzled. He tries to squirm out of Ford’s hold but Ford just hums and hugs him tighter, his forehead pressing against the man’s shoulder.

Stan promptly gives up on getting free (because he knows from experience once Ford starts clinging it’s all over). Instead, he addresses the younger twins with an air of confusion.

“What are you gremlins going on about? Finish what?”

“Your song, silly!” Mabel chirps.

Dipper nods, his smirk matching his sister’s. “Yeah, you didn’t sing the entire thing. Or even do the dance! That was a pretty lackluster performance if you ask me.”

Stan’s face draws up in horror. “Oh, no.”

Ford leans back, but doesn’t detach himself from their interwoven limbs. Giving Stan another dose of shame, as Mabel put it, sounds thrilling right about now.

“You know, they do have a point,” he says, pretending to mull it over. He can’t stop grinning. “I’d love to see the most recent rendition of the Stan Wrong Song, from start to finish. Wouldn’t you, kids?”

“Abso-lutely!” Mabel almost screams. “I’ll have to go get my camera!”

Dipper nods, a hand on his chin. “Oh, yes, yes. Gotta have it.”

“You are the worst,” Stan hisses, his entire face matching the color of Ford’s sweater.

Ford laughs for the millionth time that day, his body feeling lighter than air.

��—————————————————–

After that, they make him sing it a total of seven times before finally giving mercy. Stan swears he’s never going to do anything super dangerous again until he does two days later. Then the whole process repeats. LMAO

I can never get enough of Pines family fluff it makes me weak in the knees and oh so happy

[purple-possibilities]

Hi :3 ✩ for Madara/Kakashi or maybe Sakumo/Orochimaru if You like that one :) Have a nice day! You're awesome!

Aww thank you!!! You’re too sweet!

I am contractually obliged to do this for MadaKaka lol. I don’t actually really ship Orochimaru with anyone, and Sakumo I didn’t ship with anyone until @sloaners started posting all that Kaguya/Sakumo stuff that I never knew I needed lol. But anyways, on to the answers!

This is going under a cut because it’s long af like jesus christ.

Disagreements:

Who is more likely to raise their voice?

Madara, 100% the man barely has an inside voice as it is.

Who threatens to leave but never actually does?

Madara did, only once.  Kakashi thought he was serious and it was a whole Thing™.  He has since stopped saying things like “why am I with you?” and “what did i do to deserve falling in love with someone as terrible as you?” because he realised Kakashi took that waaaayyy too seriously.

Who actually keeps their word and leaves?

Kakashi.  Not because of their disagreement, but because he honestly thinks Madara is better off without him.  Madara has had to chase the bastard down more than once to convince him that there’s no one else Madara could ever want.

Who trashes the house?

Madara, definitely.  He’s a table flipper when really angry.  Kakashi will let his ninken chew Madara’s sandals if Madara is being an asshole (because he’s passive aggressive like that).  Madara’s belongings might go missing, or end up in strange places as well.

Do either of them get physical?

I mean, they’re ninja, so yeah, totally.  But not in a domestic abuse sort of way.  Just, they start arguing and then it turns into sparring, which later turns into sparring, if you know what I mean….

How often do they argue/disagree?

about petty things?  All the time.  More because Kakashi likes to make Madara angry, and because Madara is kind of tsundere, so it’s just so easy for almost anything to get him mad.  But when it comes to serious matters, they’re both surprisingly good at talking that kind of stuff out.  Mostly because they both look at their problems from a strategic POV, and can separate their emotions from what’s going on.

Who is the first to apologise?

Depends on who’s in the wrong, and if feelings were hurt.  Typically, that means Madara, since Kakashi doesn’t really get angry.  Kakashi’s way of dealing with an argument is to disappear, so that means it’s typically up to Madara to hunt Kakashi down and bring him back home.  Even when Kakashi is mad, instead of banishing Madara to the couch, he’d probably go sleep in a tree somewhere (or hang out with Hashi/Tobi or Tenzou, depending on the era he’s at).

Sex:

Who is on top?

depends. Kakashi is less likely to care either way, but they’re both good with either position.  It depends more on who initiates, and the mood they’re in.

Who is on the bottom?

…this is essentially the same question.  Also depends.  

Who has the strangest desires?

like, kinks?  Idk they’re ninja they both get up to strange things, but nothing I’d consider too weird (tho like, I don’t really know how to measure what other people would find weird…)

Any kinks?

oh yeah.  Orgasm denial followed by over stimulation.  Maybe a bit of exhibitionism.  Kakashi likes to watch (and Madara realises he does too, when there’s a Kakashi!bunshin in play…).  Kakashi has a praise kink (tho he’d never admit to it) but luckily Madara’s dirty talk mostly consists of praise so it works.  Kakashi probably also likes to be degraded, but Madara does not want to degrade him, so that doesn’t happen.  Madara has a clothing kink too, and it’s all Kakashi’s fault.

Who’s dominant in bed?

depends!!! They’re more a ‘bring sparring to the bedroom’ couple; Kakashi likes to tease, and Madara feels like he needs to get the upper hand.  But once they trust each other more, they might be willing to indulge the other and submit a bit.

Is head ever in the equation?

oh yeah

If so, who is better at performing it?

that’s hard to say (no pun intended lol).  They have very different techniques.  Madara takes it as a matter of pride to see how fast and how hard he can make Kakashi come (and how loud he can make Kakashi scream).  Kakashi is a tease and will stay down there until Madara can’t take it anymore.

Ever had sex in public?

…define public lol.  In public spaces, sure.  Outside?  Definitely.  In view of someone else?  Nope, never, not allowed.

Who moans the most?

depends on what’s going down!  Madara is typically louder tho.

Who leaves the most marks?

Madara 100% no question.  He likes to know that under all the clothing Kakashi wears, he’s covered in love bites.  Tho Kakashi leaves his fair share (those high collar shirts are not just fashionable lol).

Who screams the loudest?

9/10 Madara (it takes a special something to make Kakashi loud).

Who is the more experienced of the two?

I like to hc Kakashi as a virgin before he gets into a relationship, so Madara, but only just barely (and that’s because I seem him as the kind of guy who would have been to a pleasure house or two…)

Do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’?

both.  definitely both.  both is good.

Rough or soft?

both again!  More often rough, at least at first.  Can be soft and lazy and loving tho, depending on how things are initiated.

How long do they usually last?

DEPENDS!  Both are busy, so lots of quickies.  But if they have the time to spare they can go for a looooong time.

Is protection used?

no, but that’s because they’re exclusive and clean and neither can get pregnant but if even one of those does not apply to you, use a condom goddamn it!!!! #safesex

Does it ever get boring?

nope.

Where is the strangest place they’d have sex?

mmmm, probably on the Hokage monument lol.

Family:

Do your muses plan on having children/or have children?

if this is taking place back when Madara is clan head, then yeah he needs to have kids.  If it’s in Kakashi’s time Madara might be pressured by the Elders to make more Crazy Eye Babies, but he prob won’t want to.  Kakashi is prob pressured into having kids by the council as well.  Tbh it’s a ninja village they’re all probs pressured into having kids but Madara and Kakashi especially.  Kakashi doesn’t really want kids, they’re a lot of trouble.  But if he somehow ended up with kids I think he’d enjoy being the biggest Troll Dad ever, of all time.

If so, how many children do your muses want/have?

I can see Madara wanting to have like four or five, just because he had so many siblings and he would want his kids to have that experience.  Kakashi wants only one, but then that one grows up a bit and he wants another, and then the second gets a little older and he wants another…

Who is the favorite parent?

Neither.  Madara is strict and Kakashi is soooo embarrassing omg he’s the worst.  Kakashi has his ninken help out with babysitting.  The kids prefer the ninken.

Who is the authoritative parent?

Madara is more likely to talk about the rules and give long winded lectures, but Kakashi will not let his kids get away with anything (tho he sees it more as training.  If you can trick me then you can get away with it sort of deal).

Who is more likely to allow the children to have a day off school?

Kakashi, definitely.  If the kids have a day off, Madara makes them train lol.  There are no breaks when your father is Uchiha Madara.

Who lets the children indulge in sweets and junk food when the other isn’t around?

Kakashi for sure, but only if they’ve had one healthy meal already.  No all day junk.  Madara thinks sweets make you weak, but he also can’t cook, so when he’s in charge of dinner it’s like, sliced veggies, sandwiches, or takeout (with sliced veggies lol).  Maybe cold leftovers, unless one of the kids is better at using the stove than Madara lol.

Who turns up to extra curricular activities to support their children?

both are pretty busy, but they both put aside time to train with the kids, and to do fun things

Who goes to parent teacher interviews?

Madara needs to go and always ends up frightening the teachers.  Kakashi will pretend he isn’t listening just to make the teacher mad.  Teachers hate them.

Who changes the diapers?

both, tho Kakashi will try to get out of it by saying his nose is too sensitive.

Who gets up in the middle of the night to feed the baby?

Kakashi.  He’s already up from nightmares, it’s soothing to see the baby.

Who spends the most time with the children?

depends.  If this is a Founders!AU then probably Kakashi since he’s less busy.  If this is in Kakashi’s time when he’s Hokage, then Madara since he’s less busy.  Tho I can see them both taking their kids to work.

Who packs their lunch boxes?

both.  They are very healthy lunches either way.  Kakashi will have to cook, but Madara is pretty good at making/arranging pretty bentos.  He’s good with a knife.  He makes the cutest food (but never mention it unless you’re his child he will show you just what he can do with a kunai).

Who gives their children ‘the talk’?

Kakashi hands the kids Icha Icha when they’re like, fourteen, and calls it a day.  Madara confiscates the books and gives the world’s most uncomfortable and confusing explanation of the birds and the bees.  Gods help everyone in the family if they have daughters.  Someone save the children!

Who cleans up after the kids?

Madara is the dad that will stand next to a mess and start yelling through the house until the person responsible comes by and cleans it up.  If none of the kids take responsibility, then they all have to clean it up.  Kakashi will tidy up almost unthinkingly, but the kids will get in trouble for it later.  Unless they’re really young and like, can’t, in which case both clean up messes when they see them.  They’re both neat freaks.

Who worries the most?

Madara expresses his worry the most, but Kakashi gets anxiety as soon as he can’t see his kids.  Sometimes he gets anxious if he can’t easily reach out to grab them immediately.  He hides it really well tho, and can come off as cold.

Who are the children more likely to learn their first swear word from?

Izuna. Or Naruto, if in Kakashi’s time.  Neither Madara or Kakashi really swear, but if I had to choose one, probably Madara after burning dinner lol.

Affection:

Who likes to cuddle?

both, tho neither will admit it.  Lots of standing really close to each other haha

Who is the little spoon?

Neither.  They don’t spoon.  Usually they’ll sleep face to face, tangled up in each other’s limbs, or pressed back to back if they don’t feel safe where they’re sleeping.  Spooning only happens if they were having sex in that position, but it doesn’t last.

Who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places?

Kakashi.  Such a tease.  Will usually initiate just to see Madara go red.

Who struggles to keep their hands to themself?  

Neither.  They both have great self control.  If there’s touching going on, it’s very purposeful lol.

How long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable?

Neither is good at just sitting and cuddling.  Unless you count leaning back to back as cuddles, in which case they’re good at that… after a while.  They can both fall asleep while holding each other too.

Who gives the most kisses?

they’re not casual kissers.  Kakashi might peck Madara on the cheek if he’s being a tease and wants to see Madara go red.  Madara is more likely to start a make-out sess tho.  Madara also likes to kiss during sex.  Something about Kakashi’s lips always being covered… Madara is a perv who has a clothing kink

What is their favourite non-sexual activity?

Kakashi likes to bother Madara until he gets angry.  Madara says he hates it but he loves the attention (since Kakashi is so stingy with it).  They both have problems, obviously.

Where is their favourite place to cuddle?

bed.  Almost all cuddles happen in bed or post sex (which could be anywhere but like, bed is where most of the cuddles happen).

Who is more likely to playfully grope the other?

Kakashi for sure.  Madara will try to retaliate but he gets more flustered by touching Kakashi than Kakashi gets by being touched haha.

How often do they get time to themselves?

both are pretty busy, but they often work together or in the same room.

Sleeping:

Who snores?

neither, they’re both elite ninja and if they ever did snore, it’s been trained out of them

If both do, who snores the loudest?

Do they share a bed or sleep separately?

they share a bed, no doubt lol

If they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart?

they’re touching, either front to front or back to back

Who talks in their sleep?

Neither

What do they wear to bed?

nothing no that’s a lie they’re paranoid and always prepared for anything, so Kakashi is wearing his jounin pants and the tight undershirt plus mask.  Madara is more likely to sleep in a yukata.  Both have weapons on them at all times.

Are either of your muses insomniacs?

mmmm, Kakashi wakes up a lot from nightmares.  Both have been trained to sleep even in terrible conditions tho so they can force their bodies to sleep.

Can sleeping pills be found by the bedside?

no way in hell these paranoid bastards are going to use sleeping pills

Do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side?

both

Who wakes up with bed hair?

BOTH!!!! So much bedhead in this relationship.

Who wakes up first?

Kakashi will wake up from nightmares but will fall back asleep.  Madara usually wakes up earlier in the morning tho.

Who prepares breakfast in bed for the other?

Madara would but he can barely cook.  Maybe he’ll bring some sliced fruit/yogurt/cereal/something that doesn’t require heat lol.  Kakashi is better at making breakfast but would never do something so obviously affectionate like bring Madara breakfast in bed (it’s so much more fun to do other things in bed…)

What is their favourite sleeping position?

front to front or back to back

Who hogs the sheets?

Kakashi will just to be a brat.  Madara will retaliate by stealing them back.  If they both end up tangled in the sheets and each other, well, I guess they’ll just have to sleep like that.

Do they set an alarm each night?

no need they wake up when they need to

Can a television be found in their bedroom?

nope.  If it’s the past then they don’t exist, and even in the future neither really watch tv.

Who has nightmares?

Kakashi more often but Madara does too.

Who has ridiculous dreams?

Madara will occasionally have a weird dream, but it’s rare for him to remember his dreams at all.  If Kakashi is not having a nightmare then his dreams are hilarious.

Who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed?

Kakashi will, just to be an asshole, but he actually takes up just enough space for his body to fit.  Kakashi will take up more space in the beginning of the relationship to force Madara to cuddle him or fall off the bed lol.

Who makes the bed?

both, usually whoever leaves the bed last.  

What time is bed time?

whenever they can be dragged away from work

Any routines/rituals before bed?

Kakashi reads.  Madara actually brushes his hair.  I know, I didn’t believe it either.

Who’s the grumpiest when they wake up?

Madara is always grumpier than Kakashi, but not any more grumpy in the morning than he is at any other time, does that count?

Work:

Who is the busiest?

depends! Past!Madara and Hokage!Kakashi

Who rakes in the highest income?

see above.

Are any of your muses unemployed?

Future!Madara might be

Who takes the most sick days?

Neither, tho Kakashi plays hookie a lot.

Who is more likely to turn up late to work?

Kakashi of course

Who sucks up to their boss?

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

What are their jobs?

ninja, obvi

Who stresses the most?

Madara tho he won’t admit to it.  He just gets increasingly irritable.

Do your muses enjoy or despise their careers/occupations?

yep.

Are your muses financially stable?

they’re rich, bitch!

Home:

Who does the washing?

they do their own washing

Who takes out the trash?

whoever sees it’s full

Who does the ironing?

idk if their clothing is ever ironed but if necessary they do their own

Who does the cooking?

Madara could burn air, so that means it’s up to Kakashi, or takeout

Who is more likely to burn the house down just trying?

Madara has exploded the kitchen multiple times

Who is messier?

they’re both neat freaks

Who leaves the toilet roll empty?

neither

Who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor?

neither

Who forgets to flush the toilet?

neither

Who is the prankster around the house?

100% Kakashi, Madara doesn’t know how to prank, he’s just mean.

Who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere?

neither tho if anything is “lost” it’s because Kakashi took it when Madara wasn’t looking

Who mows the lawn?

whoever is less busy

Who answers the telephone?

Madara, so long as he’s not working (and there are phones to be answered lol).  Kakashi will avoid all human contact if possible.  If you want to get a message to Kakashi, send an animal.

Who does the vacuuming?

both

Who does the groceries?

Kakashi, mostly because he cooks so he knows what they need.  Madara will buy things if he wants Kakashi to make him something in particular.

Who takes the longest to shower?

Madara, is this even a question??? Have you seen that hair?  Probably takes half an hour just to condition that b.  He can shower really fast if he needs to tho.  Ninja magic and all that.

Who spends the most time in the bathroom?

Madara, if he’s trying to tame his hair.  Or impress Kakashi.  Otherwise they’re both pretty fast.  

Miscellaneous:

Is money a problem?

they’re rich, bitch.

How many cars do they own?

none because there ain’t no ninja cars

Do they own their home or do they rent?

In the past, Madara owns the clan house.  In the future, Kakashi ends up in the Hokage mansion which technically the village owns.  They eventually buy a house together when his tenure is over.

Do they live near the coast or deep in the countryside?

they live in the village hidden in the leaves so… wherever that is.

Do they live in the city or in the country?

see above lol

Do they enjoy their surroundings?

both love the village, tho in the future, being there is bittersweet for Madara

What’s their song?

I don’t think I can choose one for them since they exist in a world where none of the music i listen to exists lol

What do they do when they’re away from each other?

if it’s for a mission or something, they both pine and pout and are typically grumpier/moodier/broodier. If it’s just by choice they’re both fine with alone time (they both need it tbh let’s be real) 

Where did they first meet?

on the battlefield (regardless of the time lol)

How did they first meet?

on opposite sides of a war (regardless of the time lol)

Who spends the most money when out shopping?

Kakashi is pretty frugal.  Madara likes nice things but won’t splurge (unless he’s showing off in which case he can go a little ham with his money).

Who’s more likely to flash their assets?

Madara is not afraid to show some skin.  Kakashi is covered head to toe but he knows that taking off even just one (1) glove is enough to get Madara sweating.

Who finds it amusing when the other trips over?

Kakashi is a little shit.

Any mental issues?

ohhhhh yeah.   Entire lifetimes full.

Who’s terrified of bugs?

neither (tho Kakashi has probably gotten fleas a few times lbr)

Who kills the spiders around the house?

both

Their favourite place?

Kakashi has his hidey-holes.  Madara likes to be where Kakashi is.

Who pays the bills?

both

Do they have any fears for their future?

they fear the other’s death

Who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner?

Madara will try.  If the food is edible, it’s takeout.

Who uses up all of the hot water?

Madara showers longer, but Kakashi will drain the hot water just to get on Madara’s nerves if Kakashi is upset with him.

Who’s the tallest?

Kakashi is 181 cm (so 5′11.25″) and Madara is like 179 cm (5′10.5′’) so Kakashi.

Who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other?

Kakashi.  Esp if Madara is taking a while.

Who wanders around in their underwear?

Madara for sure.  You can bet he’s trying to show off, or grab Kakashi’s attention (it’s working, but Kakashi has an amazing poker face/is great at hiding behind Icha Icha.)

Who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio?

neither sings

What do they tease each other about?

Kakashi will tease Madara about anything.  Madara is terrible at teasing (it comes across as threatening lol).  If Madara ever finds out how embarrassed Kakashi gets while reading Icha Icha out loud tho… RIP Kakashi.

Who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times?

neither, they both dress very professionally (and blandly tbh)

Do they have mutual friends?

HASHIRAMAAAAA lol.  That’s it tho that’s Madara’s only friend aside from his brother (and Izuna kinda sorta hates Kakashi for being an “eye thief,” tho they get closer later.  Still not really friends tho).

Who crushed first?

Madara for sure, though it took him a while to realise it.  Kakashi took forever.  Like literally ages.  Poor Madara…

Any alcohol or substance related problems?

nope!

Who is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am?

Kakashi, esp if he was out with Gai.  Madara if he was out with Hashirama.  Tho if it’s the two of them out together they’re probably both drunk.

Who swears the most?

neither really swears, but Madara will if he’s really frustrated.

Goddamn, that took waaaayyyyy longer than I thought it would lol!  This felt like a marathon.  It was fun tho!

Send me ✩ and a ship

[dontbeallupinmyfriesdawg]

Okay so I'm going to write these T'akia headcanons because I've been dying to and I need cheering up.

So T'Challa and Nakia grew up together from when they were children

Nakia's tribe has always been very prominent and close to the royal family she practically grew up in the palace.

I imagine they train children in Wakanda from a young age to be skilled in combat so the first time they meet T'Challa and Nakia are paired as sparring partners and Nakia wipes the floor with him.

Anyone present will tell you that Nakia won because she was clearly the more skilled and talented fighter, which is true

But the real reason T'Challa fell flat on his ass is because he spent the entire fight mesmerised by Nakia so she took him out effortlessly in a matter of seconds.

Imagine baby!Nakia towering over T'Challa scowling "You didn't even try!"

Meanwhile T'Challa's on the floor grinning like an idiot, look at her like she's the sun thinking "I'm gonna marry that girl,"

Naturally after that day T'Challa follows Nakia around like a lost puppy (something that everyone especially his mother finds hilarious). Nakia doesn't mind as long as he keeps up with her and goes along with her numerous schemes (or 'missions', as she likes to call them), whether it's scalling the tallest tree she can find or sneaking into the palace kitchens to swipe a snack. T'Challa is right behind her. Eventually the two become inseparable.

I like to think that spot in the movie up on the cliff is their spot and they go there whenever they want to talk privately for hours and escape T'Challa's security or their parents. If one of them is upset then the other all knows they can find them there. And it's the best place to watch the sunset. (One of their favourite activities)

Nakia has always expressed interest in becoming a war dog, reluctant to remain complacently in Wakanda and assume leadership of her tribe like everyone else.

This prospect terrifies T'Challa because he's not naive, he knows all about the outside world and that not everywhere is a safe and as peaceful as Wakanda. His uncle was a war dog and he never returned home. But he knows better than to try and discourage Nakia or patronise her (because she'd kick his ass and he respects her far to much, plus he knows it's her dream and wants to be supportive but at the same time he also wants to latch his arms around one of her ankles and beg her not to go anywhere)

Their first kiss happens under a tree in the palace gardens Nakia is 16 T'Challa is 17.

He's listening to her speak about the world and how much good she wants to do in it (that conversation in the market place in BP can't have been the first one they've ever had on the issue) she so passionate, her eyes light up and she gesturres contantly and he can't help but stare because she's so beautiful and brilliant and how can she not know how in love with her he is.

Caught up in that train of thought T'Challa forgets to actually listen to what Nakia is saying and earns himself a hard whack on the chest as she questions whether he is listening to her.

Instead of answering he just keeps staring with a weird look on his face and Nakia considers going to get Zuri or someone inside for help because T'Challa is possibly having a stroke.

Some magical wave of courage overcomes him, T'Challa's brain switches off momentarily and he leans in to kiss her.

It's so sudden it takes Nakia by surprise.

This kiss is so gentle tho, T'Challa holds Nakia's face like he's afraid he's going to break her and brushes his lips against her in the sweetest barely there kisses that leaves them both breathless.

For a split second after its over T'Challa goes into panic mode and thinks that Nakia might knock him out or worse never speak to him again but before he can explain himself (the coherent apology he formed in his head coming out as stuttered nonsense) Nakia reaches out and takes his chin gently in her hand brushing her thumb over his lip before kissing him back.

During that second kiss he holds her so tightly under that tree like he's afraid its the last time he'll ever get to do it.

The agree to keep their relationship a 'secret' because they're unsure if the King and Queen will approve and they'd rather not be under scrutiny anyway.

The tea is that they're both idiots because literally anyone with eyes knows they're a couple.

Ramonda's known since they were toddlering around in diapers long before either of them remember. A mother knows her son and Ramonda knows Nakia is going to be her future daughter in law as soon as a six year old T'Challa returns from sparring practice proudly bearing a bruise on his forehead given to him by Nakia.

Shuri's too young to notice anything at first (or care) but she catches on to T'Challa's crush real quick "For Baast's sake will you just tell her!?" (because the kid is sharp)

and she figures out his and Nakia's 'secret relationship' in about 0.5 seconds. "A war dog trainee and the future black panther and neither of you can keep a secret to save your lives"

Okoye definitely knows cus she knows everything but doesn't bring it up to the king because she had only just become general at the time and is a stickler for proper conduct and that would be inappropriate. However she's not above giving him those looks when he and Nakia are somewhere they're supposed to be paying attention (like being addressed by the king or something) making eyes at each other instead of listening.

T'Challa tells Nakia he loves her for the first time right before she leaves for her first war dog mission.

It is not customary for a royal family member to see off war dogs before they depart but T'Challa goes anyway.

He waits to the very last minute when Nakia is promising to write and email Shuri with her progress, to hit her with "I love you,"

She kind of just panics and kisses him before leaving

And T'Challa spends the entire two months she's gone worried sick a) for her safety and b) that he's embarrassed himself by saying I love you too quickly and ruined their relationship.

He's so miserable the whole time that Shuri can't even bring herself to tease him

Although she can't resist bringing him glasses of milk and gently petting his head while murmering "There, there kitty,"

When Nakia finally comes back he is obviously the first the greet her. She's actually bruised all over and covered in dirt when she returns but she's still the most beautiful sight T'Challa's ever seen including the Wakandan sunset

They both forget themselves and run to each other. T'Challa picks her up and they embrace and Okoye, Ramonda and Shuri just stand in the background and smile at the two idiots .

T'Chaka looks hella confused tho because he is literally the only oblivious one in the family. (Zuri has to lean over and explain)

When he finally puts her down Nakia cups his face and says she loves him too and that's she's sorry she didn't say it before and T'Challa's heart feels as if it's going to burst.

Like Danai once said in an interview it's kind of obvious who broke up with who (although like Lupita said it was less of a break up and more an agreement on difference). Either way Nakia definitely inniatiates and even though it breaks his heart T'Challa agrees because he just wants to make her happy.

You cannot tell me T'Challa didn't keep tabs on Nakia during her missions tho.

Like he knows she can handle herself but there are at least five war dogs dotted around the globe who's sole purpose are to keep tabs on Nakia.

Bonus points: if Nakia has identified each and every one of them and has warned them firmly to stay out of her way.

After the events of the film T'Challa proposes to Nakia under the tree where they had their first kiss with his father's ring.

[mstigergun]

OC Kiss Week, “marginalia”

OC Kiss Week, Day Five (a fluffy kiss, sort of? definitely dusty tho!)

(I don’t have any pictures of these two, since they are nerds in the University of Val Royeaux and not, you know, kicking around the Inquisition)

@enviouspride asked that I write something with Iona Trevelyan, who is the middle Trevelyan sibling. He’s mentioned in Leonid’s timeline fic, and in Alla’s, and also Leonid is really mean to Iona when he comes to visit for First Day one year. That is a formative and vicious little interaction, which makes Iona really take stock of his life and make a Big Change. Well, big for him!

So, in my little headcanon, Iona was sent off to be a Chantry archivist, but because of some ordinance about, like, y’know, not drafting the unwilling, young scholars are given the choice at some point to continue with their work for the Chantry or to go elsewhere. Most stay, because they’ve been shipped off by their families -- usually noble families with too many children and not enough coin -- and have no other means of surviving. Iona, because he is very clever and very handy with translations, gets head-hunted by the University of Orlais, who want to poach him for their own young scholars training program (tm) (also because he’s too good and clever to be an archivist; he would be wasted on the Chantry). Given the choice, Iona decides he’d rather work with the University, mostly because one time he kissed a girl in the Chantry and realized that a life of celibacy sounded pretty sad. He likes books, but not that much!

Iona would have joined the University at 18 in 9:33. This little piece is likely set around 9:39, when he’s 24. He and Sian would have met no more than a year earlier when she got her offer to study at the University. Sian is really into ancient codes used for old trade route manifests. And who knows? These two might someday come in contact with the Inquisition, who could need some translations completed of ancient letters or someone to parse out the specifics of some coded letters. No code can stand up to the intellectual fury of Sian Fields, while her tall and awkward fellow makes her tea and suggests alternate grammatical structures when it comes times to make those encoded sentences make sense... 

[~2600 words]

marginalia

He likely wouldn’t notice, except that he’s taking a break from poring over Durotti’s Anderfels manuscript because his eyes have started to burn. With his nose pressed against the paper, he can’t hear anything, like somehow reading makes him deaf. It’s a quirk that served him well when he was studying with the Chantry, where bells and songs and the distant echo of the morning service might break his concentration; it’s an even more useful oddity here in the University, where he’s certain the other young scholars in his cohort spend more time gossiping about one another than actually tending to their research.

One good thing about growing up a Trevelyan, he often muses: he’s gotten very good at ignoring unpleasantries.

But since he’s not currently lost in translating a strange dialect into a more modern incarnation, and because he is instead sipping on his cold tea and staring pointedly at nothing, even when the words dancing on the parchment before him call his name so loudly they’re practical a choir…

Well, they’re not a choir. Neither is the voice that echoes off the dusty domed roof overhead.

“Shit, you fucking bastard. I swear to the Maker and beyond I will dig up your blighted bones and set them alight, you Antivan arsehole!” The heavy sound of manuscripts being dropped furiously on tables, or else on the floor. Footfalls stomping their way up and down the narrow passageway, then, “Foremost fucking scholar on the Storm Age Drylands route, my arse.”

There’s only one young scholar in the whole of the university who swears quite like that, just as there’s only one scholar in all of Thedas who is so invested in ancient Antivan trade routes and their curious codes as to be there in the smallest and darkest hours of the night. And if anyone could use a break before she sets the library alight instead of an ancient historian’s bones, then it’s sure to be Sian Fields.

Iona picks himself up, rolling out the crick in his neck from too many hours with his nose to a manuscript, and heads off through the precarious passageway toward the curses he can still hear.

This library, crammed in a tower in one of the University’s remote eastern spires, isn’t well-frequented, which is why it’s full of dusty towers of papers long since come loose from their bindings. It is entirely unlike the orderly library that houses hundreds of years’ worth of Chantry scholarship, which is bright and sunny, with air as clean and cool as the best sort of autumn afternoon.

There, his fellow scholars breathe easily, waving down attendants for tea or cheeses or a different colour of ink for improved notation.

Here, in the dark, tangled mess of shelves and labyrinthine cataloguing systems, Iona has to be mindful that he doesn’t take too deep a breath, lest he sneeze his way through the stacks and inadvertently cause an avalanche of forgotten Antivan translations of obscure trade histories.

Which would be very, very unwise, Iona decides, as he sidles through a particularly narrow gap between Mollarch’s Treatise (the revised third draft) and Lady Fontaine’s exhaustive lists of everything she ever purchased that was, at least in part, blue. Swear as Sian might, if anything were to happen to this collection –

Well. Iona would need to write Alla, and he very much doubts she would arrive in time to save him from Sian’s wrath.

“Fucking worthless pile of dog shite. Can’t you have thought of one halfway clever thing to put to blighted parchment, or is it all piss?”

This time, it’s almost a plea. Tremulous and unsteady.

Oh dear. Iona picks up the pace, shuffling around corners and shimmying delicately past particularly precarious stacks.

Down one very narrow row, a little light glows.

Ah, that would be her. Iona pokes his head around the corner. “Hello, Sian,” he says.

He sees her, more a shadow than a woman, in the very farthest corner of the collection, hunched over a desk, her head collapsed against her arms. She doesn’t even look up, her shoulders slumping forward as she scrubs her hands hard across her face. “Iona Trevelyan,” she sighs, truly sorrowful. “I hate Antiva.”

“No you don’t,” Iona tries, wriggling his way down the aisle to try and offer some semblance of… comfort. Emotional and academic support. The like. How Sian managed to climb her way over some of these stacks when they pose a challenge even for Iona’s long legs…

He frowns, worry squirming in the depths of his stomach, slippery and familiar. “How long have you been here? You know we’re meant to take breaks at least once a day. The Proctor has been very clear…”

That gets her attention. Sian surges to her feet, whirling to face him. Her face is smudged with the distant remnants of kohl, her hair – usually coiled very neatly at the base of her neck – has come loose and makes a frizzy, red halo around her finely-formed features. And though the top of her head wouldn’t even reach Iona’s shoulder –

Still, the look she levels him with manages to make his shoulders draw to his ears. Like staring down the mouth of a lion, all golden fury.

“The Proctor can go fuck a plate of cheese, for all I care. Awhile, Iona, that’s how long I’ve been here sorting these fucking codes out,” she spits, casting an arm out at the mess around them. “Can’t you tell? Haven’t had a breath of blighted fresh air in days. And if the Proctor thinks I’ll take a break when everyone else is busy swanning their way through their parties and assisted readings and afternoon scholar teas, then he can come here and tell me himself!”

Iona swallows once, his eyes very, very wide. Wide enough that the dust swirling through the air actually makes them sting. “Right,” he says. “Well. Sian. Perhaps you’d best take… a very small break. I’ve tea over in my alcove, and it’s cold but my sister sent it from Ostwick, so it’s decent enough. And… I suspect – it must be Bianchi you’re reading, yes? He will certainly keep. What else has he to do, but be dug up and burnt?”

Sian’s jaw tightens. And though this library, all but forgotten by their peers who pursue flashier topics and whose collections are orderly and clean and well-tended by servants, is dimly-lit, particularly this late at night, Iona can still make out the glassy sheen to her eyes. The tension in her shoulders. The –

She’s going to cry, maybe. And Iona isn’t quite certain he can handle that.

“Sian,” he tries, stepping forward. He reaches and catches her ink-stained hands in his own. Smiles, even though his stomach is fluttering with a million different worries. “It will all be alright. You’re the cleverest person in the whole university. If anyone can make Bianchi fall into line –”

“I’ll be fine,” she says, voice thin. “And that was unkind of me. I’m sorry. You’re not like the rest of them, and I should – As riled as a hound come full moon, my mum likes to say. And you’re right. Tea would be good, and some time away from Bianchi, and –” Sian blinks rapidly, furiously, hands tightening against Iona’s. Her stare, sheened with barely contained tears, darts from shelf to shelf. “It’s only that there’s so much. But – yes. Yes, I’ll be fine. It’ll keep.”

Then, firm and declarative, her hands very warm and soft in Iona’s, Sian straightens her shoulders, the light from her lantern making her hair glint like burnished copper. She draws in a long, steadying breath –

Which catches in her throat. Sian’s hands leap from Iona’s and she sneezes, so violently that Iona jerks backwards.

A thud as his elbow jostles into something. He has enough time to register the fact, before he hears it: the sliding of parchment, the whispering rustle of sheafs of paper coming undone. “Oh!” cries Iona, whirling, his hands flying up to try and catch what’s begun falling, to try and right this wrong, but –

The whole tower, which soars so delicately toward the ceiling, tilts toward him. He watches it, the middle sagging forward, then the top, then the rest.

It falls, a roaring, fluttering waterfall. First the one stack, then another, then the one to his left and the one beside that. A crescendo of hissing papers, quicksand closing in over him –

Iona’s coughing and sputtering and stumbling backward, and Sian has grasped him hard by the back of his tunic and hauled him away from the imminent catastrophe. Before him, the air is rife with thousands of ancient pages, with plumes of dust and flaking mildew. And the moment the pages settle, pooling across the floor, more liquid than parchment, Iona’s heart comes to a dead standstill in his chest.

He can’t feel his fingers. He can’t feel his legs. He can’t feel anything.

Maker help him. Andraste bless and keep him and guide him to something that is not this.

Hundreds of hours worth of cataloguing, only to be undone by –

Beside him, a wheezing breath.

“Are you alright?” Iona cries, whirling once again to face Sian, because if somehow her lungs have tightened, and she can’t breath, well. He’ll have to find a mage, which means finding the Proctor, who will skin Iona alive in front of all of Val Royeaux, but he will do it so long as Sian is alright and safe and –

“Andraste’s blessed tits,” gasps Sian, tears streaking down her cheeks as she laughs and coughs and sputters, her mouth caught in a grin so very bright Iona is almost blinded. “The whole thing, Iona! All of it!”

“Oh.” He feels himself shrinking, there in the midst of the chaos. “Yes. All of it.”

“I know I was cross with Bianchi and his kin, but I didn’t need you to go ahead and destroy the whole lot!”

“Well.” His hands curl against his sides and he tries to slide them beneath the cuffs of his sleeves. “I didn’t – I would never intend to – But Sian,” as again he realizes the scope of the damage he’s done. “Your work! How will you cross-reference if it’s all –”

Sian waves a hand through the hazy air between them. The same pale hand rises, fingers threading through her dust-whitened hair. “Let’s see, shall we? As Bianchi’s contemporary Russo writes in her very poorly composed summary of the four dominant trading families of the Storm Age, published in 7:23 and available in that lump of manuscripts over there… Who’s ever going to come here to check my citations? I can put it right before the Proctor even so much as suspects a thing.”

That will hardly stand. “I’ll put it right,” says Iona, with a firmness that feels very unfamiliar, but one he feels in the marrow of his bones. To demonstrate, he stoops and picks up an armful of pages, clutching them hard against his chest. “Since it’s my fault. And you’re clearly very invested in your research!”

Sian’s stare, which is bright and unflinching and always reminds him that he must be even more diligent in his studies and even bolder in his theories, narrows, staring at the sheaf of papers he’s holding. Then, with a loose shrug as she brushes dust from the front of her dark sweater, “Well, sure, it’s interesting enough when Bianchi’s not being a total prick, but no one reads it, so I’m never in a rush. Which nobles want to read about what a turnip farmer’s daughter thinks is relevant? None of them. Don’t know why I didn’t just stick to writing about whether the Chantry used red or mauve tapestries in the spring of 8:41 like all of our esteemed colleagues…”

Someone else would point out that it’s unfair, to her own research and to the research of their peers, but –

Well. She’s not entirely wrong. Iona’s heard what people say: that the University should never have offered Sian a scholarship. That they certainly shouldn’t have given her free reign of her research. That she doesn’t belong, with her foul mouth and loud laugh and refusal to pretend work that doesn’t matter does.

Sian shrugs again and turns away, fussing with the manuscript sitting on her desk. Her notes to the side are a scrawl, as usual, as wild and unpredictable as her mind. When first they’d started classes together, their teacher had gone up one side of her and down the other about the state of her lecture notes. You are not in Ferelden any longer, the man – the world’s foremost expert on what sorts of ink were popular in Val Chevin in 7:81 – sneered. You do not make notes for dogs.

Their whole class, a handful of the best and the brightest, or else the richest and most well-connected, had been tittering and watching the strange girl, her clothes a little too well-worn, her mouth a little too quick to criticize. But instead of recoiling, Sian had straightened under the stare of their teacher, shoulders squaring up as she tilted that bright glare in his direction. They’re sensible enough to me, she’d said, even though her skin had flushed red and Iona could see her knees jittering beneath her desk, And that’s what fucking matters in the end, doesn’t it?

So Sian’s right. She doesn’t fit here, and that’s why Iona loves her.

His arms tighten around the papers, which rustle gently in his grasp, his throat tight – and not, he knows, from the dust thick in the air. “I read your work.”

Her stare, golden as a hawk’s, again lands on him. “No, you don’t.”

“I do,” he says, breathless. Iona takes a half-step forward, no doubt doing irreparable damages to very rare manuscripts, but – Well. This matters. He continues, feeling bold despite Sian’s skeptical gaze. “Your translations of the shipping manifests from the harbourmaster’s encoded diaries were breathtaking. I’ve never seen anyone work like that before, Sian, and –”

Her forehead creases, eyebrows crawling upward toward the dusty nest of her hair. “You really read my work?”

“Of course I do,” he says, certain now that he’s on the right path. That this is important. “You’re the only original scholar in this whole place, and – And –” Iona pauses and squares up his own shoulders, trying to think of Sian in those early days, or on any day since. Of all the times she’s dealt with how unfair so many of the people here are. She’s brave and beautiful and brilliant, and the very least Iona can do, Iona, whose place is never questioned, whose research isn’t called useless or boring or –

“And you remind me to be better, all of the time,” he finishes, ignoring the way his heart flutters in his chest, the way his words are too quiet and foolishly breathless and utterly beneath her notice. Onwards, he thinks, ever onwards. “So I’ll clean up, and you can keep on with your work. Or maybe – maybe you could take a break, Sian. You do seem quite frustrated, and –”

“You’re a ridiculous man,” Sian breathes, and then she surges forward, and Iona nearly trips backward again.

Except this time her hand has fastened hard on the front of his tunic and she hauls his chest downward and plants a declarative kiss, right there on his mouth.

He drops the papers, and decides – somewhere between the delighted laugh that breaks free of Sian’s throat when his hands find her waist beneath the bulk of her sweater, and the smell of dust and crumbling paper in her hair, and the feel of her mouth and the way her eyes sparkle that singular gold when he kisses the very tips of her ink-stained fingers – he just doesn’t care about the manuscripts any longer. They’ll keep until tomorrow.

[itsjayyyy]

September 18, 2018 4:53 pm

wow since it’s been a few days since an update, I had a lot of things to open this entry with, but of course only one topic can be the first i talk about. so, the most recent one: I was just laying in bed thinking about how I need to study for my bio exam tomorrow and also complete the next two modules for econ, but then I realized it’s tuesday and econ hw is due monday nights, and freaked out. I literally went through all five stages of grief, before I was like “it’s okay, it’s only the homework, the exam will pull my grade up” and opened my laptop to start reading for bio. but then I checked econ and apparently because there’s an exam this week, there wasn’t any homework due so HOLLA.

so this past weekend has been annoying, as always. I was at ioa for friday, but we only had three workers total (we normally have 6) for closing, so it was hell trying to close on time. and then saturday I went to usf, which is always hell. not to mention, hhn started so we had to spend an hour cleaning so the night crew would be set. and at the end of my shift, the usf manager has the nerve to say to me that she wants me to pick up some shifts this week. I tell her that I have four exams, and I’ll have to check my schedule, but she says “oh but your availability says you’re free after 4 on tuesdays, thursdays, and fridays” what the fuck!!!!!! don’t go looking at my availability when I’m not your employee!!!!!!! so I kept saying I had to study, I had to see, two of my exams are online, etc and she kept pushing for me to at least take shifts on friday afternoon and saturday, since I should be done with exams by then. I took the saturday shift because by this point my shift ended a minute ago and I wanted to leave, and told her I’d call her to let her know if I can take friday (I won’t.) SO SUNDAY I walk in to ioa (home sweet home), and we have a new coworker!!! And by new I mean he used to work at usf but transferred here permanently. What. “Oh jay we send you to usf because they’re understaffed and we’re overstaffed.” Okay. So I tell my manager that they’re stupid for accepting MORE workers when we have that issue, and she has the audacity to say to my face “oh it’s more than that, he didn’t like it at usf” as if I haven’t spent the last two months telling both ioa and usf managers that I hate usf. Okay. So Sunday, when I next work at ioa, I’m going to speak to my highest manager and tell her that she either tells the scheduler that I am not to work at usf again, or I quit. I have enough money in my savings account to last me a while.

wow. rose deadass drank 6 apple juice boxes out of the 8-pack we had. this bitch clearly doesn’t care if I starve huh.

so yesterday I met up with heather after class in the student union. did I mention how much I love cafe bustelo? I really love it. a good cafe con leche really warms me up. we talked for a while, then I walked her to class. In our conversation, our birthdays came up at some point (I think I said something along the lines of “you didn’t get me anything for my birthday this year! and she said “you didn’t get me anything either!”) and I was like “I bet you don’t even know my birthday” and she said april 22nd. and then later she was like yea well I bet you don’t know mine and i immediately said march 19, so she said she’d buy me starbucks today to make up for it.

today’s morning was really gr8 and also really un-gr8. like, I woke up at 7 thinking I had to leave the house at 8:30 for my ortho appt, and laid in bed for a while before finally getting up and showering. but when I stepped out of the shower and saw the time was 8, I realized that I didn’t leave the house at 8:30, my appointment was at 8:30. cue getting dressed while still partially damp, forgetting heather’s gov’t textbook, and going 75 in a 45 zone. I thank the gods daily that motorcycles don’t get red light tickets.

while driving down the main road leading to my university, I had this white car weaving between traffic. at one point he was behind me, but then when I slowed down in a turn he switched to the right, which ended up being right behind a campus shuttle (you know, the ones that drive 5 mph under the speed limit at all times and you can barely see around. and they’re diesel, ugh!). as he saw me speed up at the end of the curve, he switched back to behind me and sped up too, but as soon as I reached level with the front of the shuttle (and the pickup on the other side of me), I slammed on my brakes so he couldn’t try to go around. Definitely risked getting run the fuck over, but it was so worth it seeing the look of frustration on his face.

I got nearly instant karma, though, because he entered the university through the first turn, when I went for the second a little ways up since it’s closer to my garage. but the traffic light was down, so I had to merge into one lane with everyone else, and then they wouldn’t even allow left turns because it’s too complex for the person directing traffic, so I had to make a right then a u-turn. But it was made up for by the fact that the trike that normally parks in my spot was probably also deterred by the traffic, and I got to claim my righteous spot.

so when I got on campus, I went to heather’s class, or rather, the building it was in since I couldn’t find room 106 exactly. I remembered that my annoying coworker said that her classes were in that building + the one next to it also on tuesdays, but I thought that there was no way I’d actually bump into her considering there are over 60,000 students and the buildings are pretty large, plus I didn’t know what time her classes are.

well, now I know that her class gets out at the same time + same building as heather. we walked towards the starbucks (which is near her next class), and I introduced her to heather, we talked about how it was to work at universal, the sort. and then she was like “well I gotta go to class now, bye!” and i was like bye and smiled and when she was more than 20 feet away I turned to heather and said “that’s the coworker I told you that I hate.”

I love pumpkin spice season!!!!!!!! got a frappuccino tho, because it’s never truly fall in florida. heather got a mango dragonfruit refresher bc I recommended it to her, and it’s funny because the person ordering before us was also named heather and also ordered a mango dragonfruit. As a barista, that’s like my worst nightmare. Luckily they were able to tell it apart because the other heather got a grande. We sat in the starbucks for a while, I explained how weed is a lot more safe than cigarettes, talked about pine hills’ reputation, and how samantha’s mom is so damn disrespectful. This woman drove heather home one day when picking up samantha, and the whole ride was bragging about how samantha was going to be so successful because she’s majoring in some type of psychology and will be making over 90k a year. and then she turned the conversation to how teachers don’t make that much money, and she asks heather how she could do that, just take such a low-paying job. and lemme tell ya how MY GIRL HEATHER FUCKIN SNAPPED. she done said she tired of people saying teachers don’t make a lot of money yall. she said to samantha’s mom, “I don’t know how you’re looking down on my salary when you have three children from three different men with only a salary of $30k.” Y’ALL. the point that heather was trying to make the point that “people from working-class families act as if a salary less than 100k is unacceptable even for an unmarried, childless young adult despite working class families often having a household income of 50k while supporting children just fine,” but damn she really went there. goin off on this good catholic woman for having baby daddies. well samantha’s mom and samantha became very upset. and they told heather’s dad who would not leave her alone until she apologized. as in, he was banging on her door telling her she had to apologize. I said put headphones in and ignore it, she was like “girl you don’t understand haitian parents. my dad literally opened my door with a knife when I locked it.” so she had to apologize :/ but she also made it clear that she didn’t like the way samantha’s mom disrespected her. she tried to make it seem relatable, and be like, “oh what if i said that to your mom, wouldn’t you tell me to apologize” and I’m like???? no???? I would make my mom apologize for being disrespectful first the hell??? then I reminded her about how I literally lived on the streets for 3 weeks because my mom was disrespectful to me.

today after class I decided to take the city bus home, for 4 reasons: I wanted to stay humble and remember where I came from, I wanted time to be able to finish this book, not walking the last half-mile home every day this semester has caused some weight gain, and I really wanted to hold my parking spot against that damn trike, and it seems he comes too early in the morning for me, so I just left my bike there overnight. yea I’m petty.

The book was really good. It’s definitely a hard read, for sure. In the sense that it really will make you cry. At the end, it listed all of the school shooting victims since columbine, plus a small snippet about them (it was like 20 pages long). The one that really got me was an 8 year old, whose text read “shoot me first,” as he wanted to take a bullet so it wouldn’t be used against his classmates. Then, below that entry, a seven year old, who said “shoot me next.” Just typing that is making my eyes water again.

The walk home was super tiring. I’m super out of shape, it was hard for me to even imagine that I did this every single day the entire first semester of college. And I have to do it tomorrow morning again, ugh. Can you believe heather wakes up at 5:30 am???? I’m never seen out of bed before 7, and even then it’s only for things like appointments. But I guess I really should start waking up earlier, because whenever I get on campus around 8 I feel great because I have so much time to study and stuff. but that means I have to buy a coffee on campus, and I don’t know if I want to commit to that expense.

edit: so I originally posted this to my main, and when I saw that I copied it, then deleted it, then tried to paste it into a new post, but I guess I didn’t press ctrl hard enough because it didn’t copy. and I was about to cry bc this is close to 2k words, but then I realized I had a tab of my main open that still had the original post showing, so I copied from there.