#spencer reid x comfort
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hi i saw you take requests⌠could you write about established relationship reid and reader fluff for like a party or gathering where she sneaks behind his back and puts hands over his eyes whispering âguess who?â and like really lovey dovey?? please
guess who | s.reid
summary; after spencer was away for a few days, you get to see him again when he asks you to come to a afterwork gathering at rossiâs.
warnings; fem reader, literally none?? pure fluff, establishment relationships
an; im so sorry this took so long!!
The room hums with the gentle murmur of conversation, laughter threading its way between clusters of people. Soft lighting casts a golden glow over everything, making the gathering feel intimate, warm despite the autumn chill outside. You drift through the space, greeting old friends and acquaintances, your eyes always searching for one person: Spencer.
Heâs on the other side of the room, deep in conversation as usual, the serious expression youâve come to adore furrowing his brow. Heâs talking animatedly with some colleagues, but your mind isnât on what heâs saying. Your lips curl into a smile as you think of a playful idea, something to surprise him. The excitement of seeing him after the long week bubbles up inside you, making your heart flutter.
You weave through the room with practiced ease, avoiding spilling anyoneâs drink as you maneuver behind him. The laughter around you fades into the background. Youâre close enough now to smell the familiar scent of himâclean, a hint of his cologne, and something uniquely Spencer.
Your fingers twitch, and without a second thought, you gently place your hands over his eyes. He stiffens for the briefest second before your voice reaches his ears. âGuess who?â
The words are soft, whispered just beside his ear, playful but tender. You feel his body relax beneath your touch, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips even though you canât see it. You know him too well, the way his shoulders lose their tension when heâs with you, how he tilts his head slightly, leaning into your presence.
âHmmâŚâ His voice is a low, thoughtful hum. âWell, considering the overwhelming amount of literature and research on tactile memory and voice recognition, Iâd say my chances of guessing correctly are quite high.â He pauses dramatically, and you can practically hear the smirk in his tone. âBut Iâd rather play along. Is itâŚEinstein?â
You laugh softly, pulling your hands away but keeping close, standing right behind him as he turns to face you. Thereâs a spark of something mischievous in his hazel eyes, but it quickly melts into something much softer, something meant just for you. His lips quirk up, that smile youâve always adored.
âNope. Not even close,â you tease, sliding your hands down to rest lightly on his arms.
His grin widens as he looks down at you, tilting his head as though heâs examining you for the first time. âWell, I guess Iâm terrible at this game.â
You roll your eyes, tugging him a little closer by the sleeves of his shirt. âYou knew it was me the whole time.â
He chuckles, a sound that vibrates through his chest and warms you from the inside out. âMaybe,â he concedes, his hands gently settling on your waist. His touch is light, casual in the way of someone completely comfortable with you, and yet thereâs always a certain reverence in how he holds you, like heâs afraid you might slip away if he doesnât keep his grip just right.
You sway slightly, the distant sound of music filtering through the room. Itâs not the kind of party where people dance, but with Spencer, you can turn any moment into something more, something that belongs only to the two of you. You smile up at him, enjoying the way his eyes linger on your face, like youâre the only person in the world who matters right now.
âSo,â he says, his voice soft but tinged with amusement, âhaving fun sneaking up on me?â
You shrug playfully. âItâs one of my favorite pastimes. I have to keep you on your toes, Dr. Reid.â
His smile softens into something more affectionate. âYouâre the only one who could.â
For a moment, the world around you seems to fade. Itâs just the two of you, standing in the middle of a crowded room, but completely absorbed in your own little bubble. The laughter and chatter around you are nothing more than a distant hum, the soft light casting a gentle glow over the sharp lines of his face, softening his features in the way that makes your heart skip a beat.
You lean into him, resting your head against his chest, feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath your ear. His arms wrap around you, pulling you closer in a quiet, protective gesture. The scent of him, the feel of him, itâs all so familiar, so comforting.
âI missed you this week,â you whisper, your voice barely audible over the ambient noise.
He tightens his hold just slightly, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of your head. âI missed you too. Itâs always too long, even when itâs only a few days.â
You close your eyes, letting yourself sink into the moment. Thereâs something about being with Spencer that always makes you feel like everything else fades away. The worries, the stress, the noise of the outside worldâit all disappears when youâre here, in his arms, wrapped up in the quiet certainty that heâs yours and youâre his.
He shifts slightly, leaning back to look down at you. âI was actually thinking about sneaking up on you,â he says, his voice playful, âbut Iâm not sure I could pull it off as well as you.â
You laugh, shaking your head. âI donât think you have it in you, Spencer. Youâre tooâŚearnest.â
âToo earnest?â He raises an eyebrow, pretending to be offended.
You nod, your smile widening. âYes. Youâre terrible at sneaking. Youâd give yourself away in two seconds.â
He hums thoughtfully. âIâm not sure thatâs true. But I think Iâll leave the sneaking to you, then.â
You grin, leaning up on your toes to press a soft kiss to his cheek. âGood choice.â
He smiles down at you, that gentle, loving expression that never fails to make your heart melt. âIâm glad youâre here,â he says quietly, his voice sincere in the way only Spencer can manage.
âMe too,â you reply softly, feeling the weight of the words settle between you.
And in that moment, with his arms wrapped around you and the world spinning on outside, you realize just how deeply youâve fallen for him.
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Loving the Boss's Daughter
- Spencer Reid x Reader!Hotch's Kid
- Thank you so much @fallout-girl219 for the suggestion and thank you all for 800 followers!!!!
- Fluff, Worried Spence, WC: 1,458
"Oh, he's gonna kill me. Why didn't I think of this before?" Spencer says as he places back and forth in front of Hotch's office.
"Spence, Honey, please calm down. He's not gonna hurt you." You reassure. Ever since you decided it was time for your dad to know about your relationship with Spencer, he's been freaking out.
The thought of Hotch disapproving of your relationship made him feel like a kid needing a parents permission to do something. Safe to say he's not anxious to get this done.
"Easy for you to say!" He exclaims in a whisper, "He's your father, he can't fire you."
"He's not gonna fire you!" You put your hands on your hips and shake your head softly, "I promise there is nothing to worry about. We're both adults, there's nothing he can do anyway."
Spencer goes to respond but you cut him off.
"Before you start with the firing you nonsense, and yes it's nonsense, he can't fire you for a relationship in your personal life. And he wouldn't want to." You stand in front of him to put your hands over his shoulders. You place a swift kiss on his lips and smile at him.
"I know." He tells you, voice soft. He places his hands around your waist and pulls you closer.
"Then why worry?" You ask him gently, brushing a few strands of hair away from his face.
He doesn't respond immediately. You take notice of the growing nervousness on his face and biting the inside of his lip.
"Spence, c'mon." You feel a matching amount of nervousness the longer he takes to respond."
"I don't want him to be disappointed." He finally explains, so quiet you barely hear it. You furrow your brows in a mix of confusion and upset.
"Disappointed?" you repeat, "Why would he be disappointed?"
His dark eyes meet yours, "I don't know if I'm exactly the kind of guy your dad would want you to be with."
"What? Spence, that's insane." You regret your words as he frowns, "No I mean-" you take a breath, "Spence you're incredible. I mean you're a genius, you have a great job, and you are kinder and sweeter than any other man I have ever met. You're exactly who any father would want their kid dating."
"That's really sweet." He places his forehead against yours.
"I mean every word." You smile brightly, moving back an inch or two to mess with his tie.
"You're the best thing that's ever happened to me."
"Stop, you're gonna make me blush." You joke, pulling all the way back and grabbing his hand. "Let's not keep the big man waiting."
Spencer laughs behind you as you lead him to your dad's office. You walk in without knocking and go to take a seat in front of his desk, all without him looking up, therefore, not noticing Spencer trailing shyly behind you.
"Dad. I have to tell you something." You announce, plopping down in the chair directly in front of him. Only once he hears your voice does he look up and see the lanky boy inches behind you.
"What do you need, Kid?" He asks you, pushing his work to the side to try and give you his full attention, "Reid." He nods to him in acknowledgement.
"Oh nothing. I just thought I should let you know that Spencer and I are in a relationship." You say plainly. You see no reason why you should drag out this conversation, with Spencer being as nervous as he is. You feel his hand on your shoulder and smile at your dad.
"Reid." He turns his attention. "Sit."
If Spencer wasn't nervous before he was now. You're not entirely sure what your dad's goal is at the moment. You know he feels fondly of the guy and he knows better than to do anything to hurt your relationship. You observe them both as Spence sits in the chair beside you.
Having a father in the FBI can be difficult, especially in a split home. Getting to this point in your relationship took too much time for him to throw it away.
"I hope this isn't a problem, Hotch." Spencer finally speaks, clearing his throat quickly once he finishes.
"Not at all." Hotch confirms blankly, "However, I do have some questions."
"Really?" You chime in. "Nothing about marriage or babies or anything else I don't approve of."
Spencer reaches over to hold your hand, placing them both comfortably on your thigh.
"Fine, I have one question."
"Okay, what do you want to know?" Spencer asks. Better to get it over with sooner. The sooner he can be out of this office and back in the comfort of his own home, with you, the better.
"Is this going to affect the quality of your work?" He doesn't allow either of you to respond before continuing, "You have made it quite obvious that something was going on and while I didn't expect my kid to be the cause of it, it has been noted. Getting distracted or basing more decisions off your partner isn't accepted, no matter who they are." You swallow harshly. It's a speech you have to hear now and will most likely hear more in the future, but it's not great thinking you might be the cause of someone's job ending.
Of course Spencer won't lose his job and if he does you won't be the cause of it, but overthinking is a bitch.
"I know, Hotch. I've really only been distracted because of this conversation but it won't happen in the future." Spencer replies, voice full of professionalism, if that's even a word.
"I don't think it will but it is something that needs to be said. This job is important-"
"Lay off a little will you." You interrupt. "I know for a fact you don't give this lecture to Morgan every time he gets a girlfriend. And you didn't lecture JJ when her and Will got together."
"You're my kid, it's different."
"I am, Spencer's not." Spence leans a little back in his chair as you and your dad talk. He rubs him thumb along the top of your hand but otherwise stays quiet and still. "Telling him how important his job is has nothing to do with our relationship which is the only reason we're here to talk."
He sighs deeply. "Fine you're right. I guess I got a little off track but only because I don't want anything to affect anything."
"You're too high strung. Stop worrying for a couple minutes and congratulate me and my boyfriend for our relationship." You instruct him. You don't blame him for the way he is, having such a tough job and all. But relaxing a little is good for everyone. And he has all the time in the world for a lecture.
"Congratulations on your relationship," he says with a small smile, "Neither of you could've picked anyone better."
You look over just in time to see your boyfriend's smile and a soft red tint coat on his face. He grips your hand just a tad bit tighter as his nervousness disperses.
"Thank you dad." You smile and stand. Dragging Spencer's arm up with you.
"Thanks Hotch." Spencer says, giving your dad a firm handshake. You walk hand in hand out of the office and with a click of the door behind, a deep breath makes its way out of the tall man beside you.
"Wasn't so bad was it?" You ask him while you both begin walking away from the office. You run your hand along his arm in a successful attempt at comfort.
"I don't know, for a moment there I wasn't sure what he was thinking."
"I did. He just worries too much and doesn't know how to put his feelings into words."
"Yeah I've noticed. He's very stone faced 99% of the time." He recalls all the years they've worked together.
"He cares a lot."
"He does. And he was right."
"About?"
"I really couldn't have picked anyone better."
"Oh, Dr. Spencer Reid, ever the sweet talker." You laugh, heat rising up your cheeks.
"It's true." He exclaims.
"I couldn't have either. Guess that makes us perfect for each other." He grins widely and kisses you cheek.
"Guess so. Even if you are incredibly cheesy."
"Hey you started it! Mr "I couldn't have picked anyone better." C'mon now." You try your best to imitate his voice but fail miserably with your words broken up between laughs.
"That's not how I sound at all!"
"Oh whatever you say sweetie." He grabs your wrist to stop you from walking.
"You bully me." He whispers with a light chuckle, pulling you in for a happy kiss.
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smut's fun. have you ever read soul crushing, heart aching, head throbbing comfort that makes your eyes burn out of your head to the point where you just have to crawl into a ball because your inner child feels so safe? haha... yeah smuts fun.
#ellie williams x reader#carl grimes x reader#jason todd x reader#dick grayson x reader#anakin skywalker x reader#daryl dixon x reader#rick grimes x reader#jj maybank x reader#vi arcane x reader#rafe cameron x reader#cole walter x reader#steve harrington x reader#eddie munson x reader#frank castle x reader#conrad fisher x reader#alec lightwood x reader#spencer reid x reader#aaron hotchner x reader#jinx arcane x reader#smut#comfort
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how dare you think it's romantic, leaving me safe and stranded
A/N: if i stared at this any longer it would never see the light of day...so here she is! this is the longest fic i've ever written and i'm kinda gagged about that but i really hope you like it and if you don't that's okay too this is just silly angsty brainrot anyways thanks for reading this my inbox is open if you wanna yap more summary: in which your kidnapping forces you and spencer to face the fallout following your recently ended relationship cw: angst, hurt/comfort, reader is kidnapped/held hostage, implications and mentions of SA to reader but nothing happens, cm type violence, ex!spencer, lowkey lovers to enemies back to lovers, cat adams, medical jargon, miscommunication trope, the bau team is family, afab!reader, pet names wc: 5.1k
Every case you and Spencer have been on has been insufferable for the rest of the team since your falling out, if it had to be given a name. Everyone always had to deal with your constant bickering and harsh words. It was the same in every case, a difference of opinions that led to incessant fighting between you two, Hotch would have to separate you both and use your joint intelligence separately for the sake of keeping everyone alive.
This last case was nothing different, a serial killer in Athens, Georgia who was religiously sacrificing young women in the name of a cult. Both of you fighting over what you believed the other to be wrong about in their part for solving the case. Spencer thought the unsub would have struck in a zone closer to his home, you assumed he was only going after women who resembled someone in his life. The real problem was that you were both wrong.
And it ended with you being held hostage.
It all happened so fast. You were in the car with Spencer and Rossi driving out to the unsubâs house to check for new evidence when you had stopped at a gas station about 15 miles out from the house to refuel. Rossi got out of the car to pump the gas, Spencer sat in the passenger seat, and you went inside to use the bathroom and grab a quick snack.
You quickly washed your hands after finishing in the bathroom and wiped your hands on your pants, still slightly damp as you turn the handle of the door. As youâre perusing the aisle looking for a snack, you can feel the presence of watchful eyes on you. Casually, you slowly look up and around at the source and clock a figure an aisle over with a cap turned downward blocking their face.Â
Your gut was sending flares up, telling you that danger was near. You nonchalantly walk over to the aisle heâs in, pretending to look at the nuts and dried fruits while attempting to get a look at his face. In a (maybe not so) bright idea, you think to knock a bag of nuts on the floor next to the lurkerâs feet in the hopes heâll bend down to pick it up for you.
With a push of your hand, the bag knocks off the shelf and onto the floor and you both bend down to pick it up.
âIâm so sorry about that,â you chuckle lightly, âIâm such a clutz.â
âNo problem at all, Missâ.â He stops talking all of a sudden, youâre unsure why. You follow his gaze to your left hip where your FBI credentials are peaking out.
Shit.
He draws a weapon faster than youâre able to react with getting your own out, and by the time yours is out the barrel of his is flush with your forehead.
âDrop it.â
You quickly recognize the man as your unsub, miles away from his hunting ground and about to stray from his victimology with you.
âCome on, up. Weâre going for a little ride.â He snarls, glancing outside at the black SUV with your colleagues. He grabs you by a hairful and drags you out the back door, shooting the gas station clerk before making the escape with you to his pickup truck. Youâre shoved against the car door, back facing him, as he place a zip tie on your wrists and opens the door to sit you in the back seat. The unsub gets in the driverâs seat and starts the car, glaring at you through the rear view mirror, âIâm gonna have fun with you, fed.â
Meanwhile, back in the car Rossi stands at the pump waiting for the tank to fill and Spencer remains in the car looking over the case details once more. He canât help but feel something is wrong, but canât place his finger on it. He looks over the details again meticulously, searching for a fault anywhere in your, or even his own logic. Rossi closes the tank and hops back in the car, âSheâs not back yet?â he pondered.
Spencer hadnât even realized you werenât back yet, âI guess not,â something wasnât right, âShe went ten minutes ago right?â
Rossi nods, opening his mouth to speak when a gunshot coming from the gas station cuts him off. The men look at each other, eyes widened and rush out of the car, weapons drawn.
âFBI!â Rossi enters, looking for any sign of you but coming up empty. Spencer takes note of the disheveled store, produce and cans lying astray. He steps around the mess to find an out of place bag of sour gummy worms on the floor in the middle of an aisle only filled with nuts and dried fruit.Â
Sour gummy worms were your favorite.
A sinking feeling settles in Spencer as he tries to fight the reality his brain is trying to tell him. He looks to Rossi with a pained expression, and Rossi matches it back.
âHe took her.â
___
The next few hours are a blur for Spencer.
Rossi called the team to meet them at the gas station, already telling Garcia to hack into the security cameras to find any clue of where heâd taken you. Emily and Derek were checking out the crime scene, Hotch and Rossi talking to the sheriff. JJ finds Spencer staring off onto the one road connected to the station.
âWeâre gonna find her, Spence.â
He whips his head up at the sound of her voice, âI shouldâve realized sooner. I knew there was something off about his MO, aâand I just couldnât place it. And now sheâs gone and itâs all my fault and I neverââ
âSpencer,â JJ interrupts softly, âYou couldnât have known. None of us did, even her.â
âI should have,â he laments, âAnd if sheâŚif something happens to her because I wasnât paying attentionâŚâ He trails off, too afraid of what his brain thinks is the ending of the sentence.
JJ offers him a sympathetic look, understanding the conflicting emotions, âWeâll find her, sheâs strong. You know that.â
He stares back at her hoping, praying, that sheâs right and youâre going to be okay. You have to be.
Heâs pulled out of his head by Morgan calling him and JJ over, telling Garcia on the phone to repeat her findings.
âOkay, I think I have a lead based on the security camera footage on the car he has and where itâs been last seen. Iâm sending the last known coordinates to your phones now.âÂ
An idea springs to him, âGarcia, can you also check the gas station records and see how much he filled his tank?â
The clacking sounds of her keyboard ring through the phone before she speaks again, âHe didnât fill a full tank, only like, fifteen miles worth of gas.â
Everyone looks up at each other in realization of what the new information means. You had to be close by. Morgan walks over to tell Hotch, who immediately talks to a state ranger about setting up a 15 mile radius around the gas station with monitored roadblocks, no entry or exit without inspection.Â
After Hotch finishes he walks back to Spencer and lays a hand on his shoulder, âGood job, Reid,â He nods back with a thin lipped smile and fiddles with his pen anxiously, âAre you okay?â. Spencer canât tell if heâs genuinely asking him or if heâs asking him for the sake of him being able to do his job properly considering the circumstances. Ever the profiler that man is, he thinks. He nods again nonetheless and walks over to meet Derek at the car.
Spencer and Derek get into the car and set the route for the coordinates Garcia gave, ETA 14 minutes. He swallows nervously, do you even have 14 minutes? What if heâs too late? What if youâre not even there? What if he never got to tell youâ
âReid. Are you even listening?â
âWhat?â
Derek raises his eyebrows as he glances at his friend, âGot something on your mind?â
âNothing.â
âYouâre a shit liar, man.â
âIâm not lying.â Even he doesnât believe himself.
âSpencerââ
âIâm just worried! Okay? Weâre all worried, itâs not a big deal.â he snaps.
Derek stops at a red light and looks over the console, âIâm going to ignore whatever that was,â guilt sweeps over Spencerâs face as he continues, âIâm not stupid kid, I know how youâre feeling. But you canât let whatever turmoil you got in that big brain of yours affect this case. Not now.â
âI know that, Morgââ
âNo, you donât. I know youâre thinking about her, we all are. And we all wantâneedâher to be okay too. We will find her, but we canât let the unsub get away too.â
Spencer sighs outwardly seeing the truth in his words. As concerned as he was about you he needed to remember this was still an active case. He couldn't let your past with each other cloud his judgement, even if the fallout still haunts him every day of his life. He needs to save you, but he also has a job to do. He just wasnât sure if heâd remember that when they finally found you.
ââ
A pounding in your head stirs you awake, the bitter taste of metal flooding your senses as you come to. You blink a few times adjusting to the lowlights of the unfamiliar environment, hoping to find something distinguishable to ground you back to reality. It doesnât help once you realize the blood crusted over your eye is the reason for your obscured vision. You attempt to rub it off on your shoulder ignoring the sharp pains shooting up from the abrasive contact.Â
Once you think youâve cleared enough you blink a few more times registering your surroundings to be a house, a cabin more accurately. Your memory is a little fuzzy as you try to recount what happened before you were knocked out cold.
Gas station. Unsub. Unsub at the gas station? But where was IâŚI went to the bathroom⌠and was gettingâŚgummy worms?⌠But Rossi and Spencer were just outside⌠now Iâm hereâŚso does that means the unsubâ
âOh good, youâre awake.â
You jolt at the voiceâthe unsub youâve come to rememberâand you realize your hands are tied up behind your back, quickly coming to the second realization that you are rendered both injured and immobile.
âWhat do you want, Jason?â you say hoarsely after a minute.
He chuckles, âI didnât know they made them so pretty at the academyâŚâ he walks over and kneels in front of you, gripping your chin between his forefinger and thumb to move your head, âThey probably kept you around forâŚentertainment right?â
You whip your head, âDonât fucking touch me.â
âOh, youâre feisty. Thatâs good, keep it up. Makes this more fun.â he walks back over to the table and fiddles with something, you canât really tell from the floor, âSo howâd they make it work back inâwhat is it calledâQuantico! They take turns with you or? Thereâs so many of yâall, probably had a system.â
The pounding in your head makes it more difficult to process anything heâs saying, âThe hell are you talking about, take turns with what?â you ask, wincing through another wave of pain.
He turns around holding a metal rod and walks over, angling the rod under your chin to tilt your face up to meet his as he snarls, âI canât wait to see how it feels to fuck a federal whore.â
All the color drains from your face and you kick into whatever gas is left in your autopilot. Your feet are flailing in every direction, body thrashing violently to prevent Jason from getting a good grip on you. You quickly learn the purpose of the metal rod hearing the clang! first, a millisecond passing before the pain and threat of unconsciousness spreads through your brain.Â
The hit takes you out long enough for him to pin you down on the floor, the weight of his body landing on you before the metal rod goes for your limbs. Itâs then you realize the throes of death have wrangled you for what appears to be the last time, and itâs probably wise to start sayingâthinkingâ your final words.
To my parents, I love you. To Derek and Penelope, thank you for letting me third wheel with you. Emily, Iâll miss our weekend Sin City excursions. JJ, please give your boys the biggest hug from their favorite aunt. Rossi and Hotch, you always cared for me like I was your ownâI am so grateful for you.
And SpencerâŚOh, Spencer. How I hoped I would have the time to say Iâm sorry for what happened, I hope youâll forgive me in due time. I wish I told you that nothing about us ever changed for me. You were and will always be, My Spencer, I just wish I could tell you one more time how much I lovââ
âFBI, Drop your weapon!â
A clattering sound of something dropping rings directly next to your ear and the weight that was on you alleviates at the same time. You groan out and instinctively curl up on yourself, the pain spreading throughout your body. The sensory overload is so much you donât hear the approaching figure crouching next to you.
âHey Hey Hey,â Spencer stutters, quickly making work of the ties on your hands and holding you gently as he lays your head on his lap cradling you close, trying to hide the forming tears when he hears your whimpers of pain, âYouâre okay, itâs okay. The medicâs coming.â He looks back to where the unsub was and watches Derek put him in cuffs, nodding at Spencer before walking out with Jason.
ââŚSpencer?â you whisper out weakly. You think youâre dreaming honestly, that in the wake of death you learn heaven isnât a place but only his arms.
âYeah, honey, itâs me.â he chokes out looking back down at your bruised face. Heâs unsure how you still look angelic even when youâre hurt, but it doesnât surprise him that you do. You were always good at defying the laws of nature, he prayed it extended to your immortality.
âIt hurts.â you pout pathetically.
He brushes a strand of hair out of your eyes gently, âI know it does, honey I know. Iâm sorry, Iâm so sorry this happened. I shouldâve been there. Iâm sorry, baby.â he whispers tearfully.
You cough out and whimper in pain, âIâm sorry too.â
Spencer shakes his head vehemently, âNo, donât apologize. Donât do that, just keep your eyes open for me, okay? Iâm right here, I wonât leave you.â
The tiredness soon wins and your eyes flutter close. Before Spencer can even panic and beg you to open them again the medic finally comes and asks himâpulls himâ to move so they can start working on you.
He reluctantly backs up and watches on with glossed over eyes, barely registering all the things they were sticking in you to wake you up. The medics stabilize your neck with a C-SPINE and lift you onto the gurney, wheeling you back to the ambulance. The same medic who asked Spencer to move comes up to him again, âWeâre taking her to Georgetown Medical, youâre allowed to ride in the back with us if you want.â
You slowly come to again on the gurney and Spencer meets your open eyes before you even realize theyâre on you. Without hesitation he says, âYeah, Iâm coming.â
The medic team lifts your gurney inside the rig, and right before Spencer gets in he feels a hand on his shoulder. He turns around to find Hotch, âYouâll be okay?âÂ
Itâs a loaded question. Heâs not asking if Spencer is okay at this moment, because it doesnât take a profiler to see that heâs the farthest from it. He says it as a grounding reminder knowing how Spencer gets about you. It didnât matter to the team if you both fell out, the pair of you never faltered in your subconscious for each other. Both of your actions always moved faster than your brains, especially when it involved the other.Â
Thatâs what worried his Unit Chief.
He nods and Hotch gives his shoulder a light squeeze, âKeep us updated,â the concern clearly etched in his eyes breaking through his usual stoicism as he looks inside the rig, âWeâll meet you there as soon as we can.â
Under the bright lights of the ambulance heâsâunfortunatelyâable to really take inventory of the injuries you sustained. The blue and black bruising scattered your limbs, the congregation of it on your stomach telling him you have at least two broken ribs. His eyes trail further down your body before abruptly stopping, but not on an appendage.
Spencerâs face pales even further than it already has staring at the glint on the undone button of your trousers shining in the reflection of the light.
If they didnât get there when they didâŚIf he got to you a second laterâŚHe canât even fathom to think about what wouldâve happened.
Heâs broken out of his spiral by the EMT sitting next to him offering a tissue, which is when Spencer feels the tear and snot streaks rolling down his face. He takes it and wipes his face mindlessly before muttering, âCan I justâŚâ hands reaching out to you before his words come out. Spencer doesnât notice the EMT tearing up as he gently buttons your pants.
ââ
You were a fighter.
At least, thatâs what the doctors told Spencer when they came and updated him in the waiting room. He blanks out for most of the conversation, eyes unfocusing and ears on low lest your name be spoken.
âSheâs stable and awake now, the nurse can take you back to see her.â
He shakes his head to recenter and mutters a thank you before following the nurse through the double white doors. His senses are heightened as he walks closer to your room. The scuff of his shoes on the linoleum floors, the pedantic beeping of machines in the rooms he passes, until he hears the only voice thatâs ever been enough to calm the warzone in his mind.
âHi, Spence.â
His feet move on their own accord right next to your bedside, hands hovering awkwardly at his side. Heâs silent for the first couple minutes, just a faint sniffle here and there before he takes a seat near your bed and hears you speak again.
âYou can touch me, Spence. I wonât break more than I already am.â
âDonât say that,â he chides quickly, âItâs not a joke.â
âWell, someone should be the comedic relief here.â
He lays the tips of his fingers right on top of the tips of yours, âYou could have died.â
Your face softens, âI didnât though.â
âYou could have.â
âSpencerââ
âStop down playing it. You donât know what it was like finding you like that.â
âI mean I have some idea, âcause like, I was there.âÂ
Spencer deadpans at your poor attempt at lightening the mood, a faint smile peaking through while he shakes his head, âInsufferable even at your deathbed.â
âYeah, the Grim Reaper heard me yapping and said âkeep herâ.â
He chuckles softly as his hand moves further up to rest the front of his palm on the back of your hand, âHow are you feeling?â
âIâveâŚbeen better. The doctor said one of my broken ribs punctured an artery, a big one apparently,â you flip your hand over so both of your palms are touching but not laced, you softly continue, âTold me I was lucky I came in when I did. Any later the internal bleeding wouldâve spread to my lungs.â
Spencer feels the tears springing again and a lump forming in his throat, âIâm so sorry, sweet girl,â the pet name slipping out before he could realize, âI shouldâve gotten there sooner, or realized something was wrong at the gas station.â
âHey. Donât do that. You saved my life.â your fingers intertwine with his and squeeze with whatever strength you can muster, which isnât a lot and it makes his heart clench tighter. âIâm here.â
He lets out the breath heâs been holding since he walked in, âYouâre here.â
âI didnât forget what you promised me when weâŚbroke up,â God you wish it didnât sound so terminable as it did, âI knew youâd find me. You always do.â
Another sniffle leaves him as he rubs his thumb soothingly on your hand, âI always doâŚLook, thereâs something I need to tell youââ
He doesnât get to finish his sentence as Penelope & Company burst into your room bearing balloons, chocolates, and many, many stuffies.
âHowâs our girl doing?â Penelope huffs, hauling an entire Hallmark catalog worth of gifts in tow.
âSheâs doing fine, Penny.â you chuckle lightly, trying your best to hide the wince of pain from your side, âYou did not need to do all this.â
âNonsense, everyone knows bear stuffies are the real medicine of the world.â she gleefully ignores the nurse onlookers, âI also brought you this, of special request by someone who shall not be named.â From her back she produces a bag of your favorite candyâsour gummy worms. A fact that you knew only one person was privy to.
You act surprised nonetheless, âMy favorite! Thank you, Penny. And all of you, for coming to see my crippled self.â
Spencer watches the team take turns doting on you. Emily, JJ, and Penelope sit with you for about four Gilmore Girls episodesâanother lost relic of modern medicine, according to Pennyâafter which Morgan, Rossi, and Hotch keep you company for a little bit before bidding you good night with forehead kisses and well wishes. Spencer stays with you the whole time, never once leaving your side.Â
You are so loved, he thinks. He didnât realize how much he liked watching you be loved. It makes him miss the times when he could do that for you too.
ââ
Weeks pass since the day of your kidnapping. You still find it weird to call it that, even though itâs literally what happened. Youâve been on house arrestâbed restâbegrudgingly, and while Penelopeâs very glittery visiting schedule has kept you entertained, itâs been hard when the only person you really wanted to see has refused to come visit since you left the hospital.
Youâve asked Penelope why Spencer hasnât come, and all she can offer you is a sad smile and a âHe said something come up sweetie, sorry.â. Texting him seemed even more daunting, more because you werenât about to beg for his attention if he obviously doesnât want you to have it.Â
The doorbell steals your attention and you glance over at the schedule before you walk over to open it, not expecting a visitor at this time.
Spencer looks up from his shoes hearing the door open, âHey.â
A minute passes, âWhy are you here?â you ask bluntly.
He looks confused, âI came to check on you, brought you takeout from the Indian place you like.â The food in his hand smells heavenly but you canât seem to enjoy it yet without getting an answer.
âWhy are you here, now?â you ask again with an addendum.
He either really wants to piss you off or his ear blew out on the way over but he chooses to ignore you and enter your apartment, âYou having nightmares again?â
âWhat? NoâŚâ you lie poorly, straightening up your back, âJust tired.â
He chuckles, âGood to know youâre still a terrible liar. Did you know you wear Doctor Who shirts when youâre feeling anxious?â
Your brows fuddle in confusion but he elaborates, âItâs probably subconscious, something you find comforting and naturally gravitate to in times of distress. Itâs a normal stress response butâŚyouâre wearing an Eleventh Doctor shirt.â My Eleventh Doctor shirt, he thinks.
âThat doesnât mean anything.â you feign.
âMaybe it doesnât,â he nods, âBut you are anxious arenât you?â
âSpencer, what the fuck is going on, why are you here, really?â your eyes narrow, arms crossing defensively.
âI told you, I came to check on you.â
âYou just woke up this morning and decided it was convenient for you to see me today?â Spencer opens his mouth to speak but nothing comes out. You stare at him with tearful eyes and the emotion spills out of you before you can stop it. You speak again after a few moments, voice barely above a whisper, âYou left me. Again.â
He tilts his head, âNo, I didnât.â
âYes, you did.â you grit out, âYou were rooted at my bedside the entire time I was hospitalized, and the second I was discharged you were nowhere to be found. I thought, maybe with Pennyâs schedule youâd come by, but then I came to find out that you didnât even put your name down.â
âYou almost died!â he retorts, âYou almost died, because I made a mistake and you got hurt because of it!â
âSo, that gives you the right to abandon me for the second time?â
âI didnâtâŚâ he sighs out roughly, âI didnât abandon you. I just, couldnâtâŚface you.â Face you, in pain, as a result of his actions.
âIs that what happened the first time you left?â you bite back.
His eyes steel over, âThat was different.â
âI donât see how.â
âYou know why I left.â
âI donât think I do, Spencerââ
âI left because I was putting you in danger!â he yells cutting you off, âI left because loving you meant dragging you into all the messed up stuff that happens to me, stuff thatâll keep happening to me.â
Tobias. Mexico. Cat.
A single tear rolls down your face, âThatâs bullshit, Iâm sorry. We work the same damn job, the risks are the same if weâre together or not.â
âYou donât understandââ
âThen fucking enlighten me, Spencer.â
He stares at you, fighting an internal battle of whether he was really willing to admit his truth to you, one that he knows you deserved to know but wasnât sure if it would put you more in harm's way.
âCat had details about your family.â
Thatâs not what you were expecting to hear. Your face drops, âWhâWhat?â
His eyes dart around the room nervously, âAfter I got out of Millburn and we went to see Cat, she was trying all these tactics to get me to break. I was doing fine, until she started talking about you. She was saying things that only you told me, stuff thatâs not even on record.â
You remember that day. You were supposed to go with him and JJ to the correctional facility but ended up stuck at the BAU because your skill set was more valuable in helping Penelope locate Mr. Scratch. You remember how he came back to you that day, distant and glassed over. It was easy to chalk up his behavior following it to his recent release, but when you woke up a few weeks later to an empty bed and a throwaway note saying âIâm sorry.â, you couldnât figure out for the life of you why all of a sudden you didnât exist to him, like you didnât matter.
âI made a choice, one that I knew would protect you.â
âThatâs not a decision for you to make.â you snap.
âI had to,â he says lowly, taking a step closer to you, âIf being with me puts your safety at riskâŚâ another step, âIâd rather live in a world where you hate me and are still hereâŚâ one more step, âThan one where you loved me and died because of it.â he manages to choke out, taking one final step towards you.
Itâs quiet for a couple minutes, save for the soft whistle of the breeze coming from your open window. The resolve in you has long faded, leaving behind nothing but the skin on your bones to weather the damage. It makes sense to you why he did what he did, and you donât know if the roles were reversed would you do the same thing. But you knew that you loved him and he loved you, and that alone should have been enough.
You canât help but let out a whine, sounding like a petulant child, âThatâs not fair, Spence.â
âWhatâs not fair, baby?â he softly whispers.
Your whine turns into a cry, âThat, all of this. The fall on your sword act in which you decide whatâs best for me is to leave me stranded, thinking I did something wrong that made you stop loving me.â
He steps forward a little more, his face mere inches from your own, âYou think I stopped loving you?â
âWas I supposed to think otherwise? You couldnât even stand being in the same room as me.â
His hands raise to gently cup your face, thumbs positioned under your eyes to wipe the fallen tears. Heâs missed looking into your eyes as close as he is. For a man who doesnât believe in religion heâs pretty certain the gates of heaven lie within your irises.
âI was selfish,â he swallows, âI wanted to keep you safe but I did so in a way that I felt was most logical, which turned out to be so fucking wrong regardless since you still got hurt.â
He brings your face impossibly closer, the warmth of his breath gently hitting your face.
âThere isnât a waking moment where I donât love you. Even when we werenât together, I still looked out for you and I made sure you were safe in ways I couldnât tell you. I meant what I said. I told you Iâd find you in every lifetime. I love you, in every lifetime, angel girl.â
The ache in your heart only grows with his words, reminding you that he always was and will forever be, Your Spencer.
âYou canât do that again,â you stutter out through tiny sobs, âYou need to tell me whatâs going on, whatever it is. We figure it out together.â
He nods softly, the hair on his forehead faintly brushing up on yours, âWe figure it out together. Iâm so sorry for everything, baby.â his lips press a long kiss to your forehead, âIâm here now, Iâm not going anywhere.â
You rise on your toes to meet your lips with his, the missed time and unspoken words flowing silently between you both. His hands wrap gently around your waist and pull you flush to his chest, with yours entangling with the brown curls you had missed so much.
Finally back in his arms, you sigh with exhaustion and relief, âYouâre here.â
âIâm here, honey.â
#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid hurt/comfort#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x you#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfic#spencer reid x fanfiction#spencer reid x self insert#spencer reid criminal minds
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Hi!! Could you please write something for Spencer where r is used to men being like really loud and rough and all that (maybe bc of her father or smth) and just her getting used to how gentle Spencer is and almost thinking itâs too good to be true?
Thank you for requesting angel <3
Spencer Reid x fem!reader ⥠905 words
It happens when youâre still half asleep. You fumble for your phone on Spencerâs nightstand, your alarm chiming, and knock a picture frame off instead. Youâre fully awake by the time you hear the sound of glass shattering against the floor.Â
You mumble a curse. Spencer hums questioningly into his pillow.Â
You get down from the bed, managing to step over the glass, but youâre not thinking clearly enough. When you sink onto your knees, little shards prick the skin. You pick the frame up carefully. Itâs a picture of Spencer and his mom. An old one, of her chasing a three or four-year-old Spencer around someoneâs yard. Theyâre both laughing, her arms outstretched towards him and his face turning to look over his shoulder. Itâs obviously a sentimental photo.Â
Your cursing intensifies, though you keep it internal now. You feel awful.Â
Spencerâs head appears over the edge of the bed as youâre scraping the glass into a pile. His eyes are half-open, expression still weighted with drowsiness.Â
âWhat happened?â he asks.Â
Thereâs no accusation in his tone, but you feel suddenly teary. You havenât fought with Spencer yet, and you werenât expecting to be yelled at first thing this morning. You suppose youâve earned it, though.Â
âSpence, Iâm so sorry.âÂ
âWhat are you doing?âÂ
âIâI knocked over your picture. The frame broke. I feel awful, Iâll get you a new one oâor I can replace the glass if the frame is important to you.âÂ
âWhat?â Spencer blinks, brows furrowed as though heâs having trouble grasping this. âNo, itâsâstop. Donât do that.âÂ
You still, looking up at him hesitantly with your hands cupped around the glass pile. âWhat do you want me to do?âÂ
âYou canât clean glass up with your hands.â He shuffles his way out from under the covers, taking a big step over the class to stand behind you. His hands wrap around your elbows. âGet away from there.âÂ
His tone conveys some upset, but not nearly as much as you were prepared for. And his grip on your arms is gentle. You canât make sense of it.Â
You let him guide you into the bathroom, sitting up on the counter when he prompts you. Spencer takes your hands in his, looking them over and brushing his fingers lightly across your palms before determining thereâs no glass in them. His eyes skim you over. When they land on your knees, his expression pinches.Â
âWhy did you do this?â You expect him to grasp your knee roughly, but his fingers wrap around it with care, thumb rubbing over the soft underside as though to soothe you.Â
âI wasnât thinking,â you say softly. âI feel so bad about the picture with your mom, Iâm so sorry.âÂ
âItâs okay.â Spencer sounds surprised. His eyes flit up to yours, soft brown, curious. âI can get a new frame. You didnât need to hurt yourself.âÂ
âWell, I didnât do it on purpose.â Your voice drops to a murmur as Spencer bends down, opening a drawer to take out first aid supplies.Â
He pulls each tiny piece of glass from your knees with heart-aching care. One hand stays on the back of whichever knee heâs working on, to steady him and to comfort you, and itâs a slow, attentive, tender process. Gradually, a realization seeps into you.Â
Spencer isnât going to blow up at you. Maybe someday, but not about this, not over just anything. Youâre not sure how you could have been so expectant of someone whoâs been nothing but kind and gentle with you turning harsh and forceful at the first upset.Â
You donât even wince as Spencer cleans up your knees. Heâs careful to give you no reason to, every touch considerate and sweet. He straightens after smoothing bandages over the cuts, still holding your lower thighs in his hands.Â
âThat wasnât a very nice way to wake up,â he says. âAre you okay?âÂ
âYeah,â you say, but you hold your arms out for a hug anyway.Â
Spencerâs happy to oblige you, his hips fitting between your legs and palms sliding across your back. He smells like sleep. You hook your chin over his shoulder, contentment filling your belly like warm honey.Â
âYou seemed upset,â he murmurs, a question if you choose to answer it.Â
âI was nervous,â you admit. âI thought youâd be mad.âÂ
âFor knocking the frame over?â
âMhm. I still feel really bad.âÂ
Spencer draws a line between your shoulders. âDonât feel bad. You didnât do it on purpose.âÂ
You hum. âYouâre a lot less loud than most guys, do you know that?âÂ
He pauses. âIs that a bad thing?â
âNo.â You pull away from him, cradling his face in your hand. âIâm just not used to it, is all. I keep expecting you to yell at me, but that doesnât seem like itâs really your thing.âÂ
âI guess I donât think of it as my thing,â Spencer agrees, mouth curving as he repeats your words. âMy mom says I was always a quiet kid. I guess I just never thought yelling would get me anywhere.âÂ
âDonât start.â You grin, and his cheek dimples under your palm. âI like you like this.âÂ
âOkay, Iâll try not to.â He tilts his face into your touch. His hands drop back to your knees, skimming down the unharmed sides next to the bandages. âAnd you shouldnât get angry at yourself on my behalf anymore, either.â
#spencer reid#dr spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x self insert#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fic#spencer reid hurt/comfort#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid scenario#spencer reid drabble#spencer reid blurb#spencer reid oneshot#spencer reid one shot#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds fanfic#criminal minds fic#criminal minds x reader
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hard times â s. reid x reader
in which spencer reid doesnât follow through one time, and you really hate that he has a psychology degree.
pairing:Â spencer reid x fem!reader genre:Â hurt/comfort tags:Â daddy issues. shoutout to the girls with inconsistent fathers this ones for you. established relationship. readers mentioned wearing makeup, a dress and heels. rational bf!spencer reid fuck i would hate a profiler bf. word count:Â 1.8k a/n:Â not a trauma dump fic not a vent fic do not read into this fic at all don't even start to speculate on my life and where these emotions came from they're all fake made up not real make pretend. no photos no aesthetics just me, a tumblr account, and a dream for this baddie.
In all your months of dating Spencer Reid, he had never forgotten anything. Not a date, not a work event. Or, at least, he's never forgotten to call. Even when you had been so busy one week you could barely spare him more than a ten minute phone call a day, he remembered what was going on in your life enough to be there for you.Â
A false blanket of security draped over your relationship, is what it is now.Â
A blanket he seemingly had no trouble ripping off you a random Friday evening, throwing it in a fire and watching it â and your trust in him â burn into dust.Â
Perhaps a tad dramatic for what was happening, but you were always one for theatrics when it came to your emotions. Usually, he welcomed it. He was (abashedly) similar, after all.
Not that he was even here to welcome it.Â
You'd looked pretty. You'd felt pretty. Past tense, for your shoes were strewn somewhere across the floor after throwing them in frustration, and your makeup was ruined after unwelcome tears had streamed down your face an hour ago. You had been ready for a dinner date you and Spencer had scheduled in only three days ago â penciled in, for you never knew what his work schedule was going to end up being.
You're not sure how long you sat in that one spot on the couch, mind going through every single possible scenario that could've happened between the text he sent you that morning saying he was excited to go out tonight, and the lack of his appearance this evening.Â
The logical conclusion is that he got too busy, and he forgot. But Spencer Reid's whole thing is that he doesn't forget. Oftentimes he considers it a curse. You never really agreed with him. Until now, it seemed.Â
The less than logical, emotionally driven conclusion, is that he actively chose to stay at work to avoid coming home because he didn't want to see you. Or he didn't actually want to go to dinner, and he didn't know how to tell you. Or his team offered to go out and he'd rather hang out with them instead of you.Â
Really, the reasons are endless, and any rational conclusion was lost on you. Mind swallowing you whole as you continued to stare off into space, visibly shaking and head beginning to pound from the crying.
A glance at the clock told you it was near midnight by the time you heard the door handle rattle and twist open, tired, puffy eyes blinking to adjust to the light filtering in from the apartment hallway.Â
"Hey. Why're you out here? It's late. I thought you'd already be in bed," Spencer rambles absentmindedly, voice so disconnected from you it only made the ache in your chest worse. As he flicks the light on and assesses the state of the apartment, he asks, "What're your shoes doing on the floor?"
You blink a few times. Was he pretending to be dumb on purpose?Â
You stand on cramped legs, stretching them for the first time since you'd sat unknowingly on the couch nearly six hours ago, dress bunching around your waist. You didn't bother to fix it.Â
Like a switch, he clicks, his bag sliding off his shoulder and falling to the floor with a thud, realisation settling into his features.Â
"Our date. Oh, God, I'm so sorry, angel."
"Yeah. I'm sure," you croak, voice hoarse as you pick up your shoes pathetically in front of him, the heels clacking together as you walk towards your bedroom door.Â
He calls your name, and after you make no effort to return to him, you hear his feet against the wooden flooring, carrying himself to you.
You're in the ensuite, beginning to take makeup off you probably should've removed four hours ago. It was stupid hope you held on to, anyways.Â
"You're upset. I know. It was awful of me to forget our date," he stands in the doorway, staring at you through the mirror. Even indirectly, you can't make eye contact with him.Â
"You forgot," you repeat back to him, almost dumbfounded. "You forgot?"
"Forgot isn't... the best word," his fingers dig into his eyes for a split second, and you watch him think. "I got caught up at work. We had a case, then we didn't have a case, then we did, so we started looking into it, and time just... escaped. From all of us."
"Time just escaped."
Your parroting wasn't doing much to further the conversation, and you watch as Spencer averts his gaze to the floor to take a deep breath, before his eyes land back on you again.
"It isn't the best reason, I know. But it's the truth," he says.Â
"Uh-huh," you mumble, discarding your cotton pads stained with your makeup into the trash.Â
"Can you stop being evasive?" he catches your wrist before you can return to the sink. "Talk to me."
"What do you want me to say?" you ask, almost earnestly. "It's okay that you forgot, Spencer. I won't take it personally at all, and things between us are just dandy!"
"I want to know what you're actually feeling," he replies, voice flat with his irritation, before he forces himself to soften it. "I can't reassure you if all I know is that you're angry."
"Hurt. Forgotten. Disregarded. Disliked. Irritated we're doing this in our fucking bathroom."
At that, he leads you into the bedroom, turning the ensuite light off. "Forgotten and disregarded are synonyms, so I'm assuming that's what you feel the most."
"You're the psyche expert," you mumble, bitterly.
"I'm not trying to be your psyche expert," he quips, and your heart sinks. "Why're you feeling forgotten?"
You stare at him, dumbfounded, for a beat. "Because my boyfriend quite literally forgot about me?"
"I didn't forget about youâ"
"âNo, you're right. You just forgot about the date that you literally fucking texted me about this morning!" you snap, voice rising in a way that makes you cringe. Yet, you can't stop it. "You! Spencer Reid! Forgot!"
"Don't yell at me, please," he takes a step towards you; you take a step back.Â
"Why did you forget? Did you choose to? Are you pretending that you forgot about it all to save your ass?"
"No," he pinches the bridge of his nose. "I didn't. I told you what happened. You're choosing not to believe me."
"How am I meant to believe that? It's a shit excuseâ"
"âIt's the truthâ"
"âGod, you can lie, Spencer! Men lie!"Â
He goes silent, as do you. You become trapped in an uncomfortably intense staring contest with him, as you watch his brain slowly tick over and decipher what you were saying, and come up with a response. Yours, however, splits open with your own self hatred. Disdain for what you had just said to him.
"Okay," he exhales, very slowly. "I'm going to tell you what I think, and you can tell me how right I am."
"You're going to profile me?"
He pauses. "I'm sure it'll come off that way. I'm not trying to," when you don't protest again, he continues. "I think you're less upset about the fact that I didn't come home for a date, and more about the fact that I didn't message you about it. I've not shown up for dates before. I've always contacted you prior to let you know. And I've promised I would always contact you if something came up that interfered with our plans. Ultimately, I said I would do something, and I didn't follow through. That is on me, and I'm sorry. What isn't on me, is how you're reacting. Which is childish, honey. You're acting like a petulant child, and I don't mean that as an insult, because I'm almost certain I know why."
Your silence is his cue to continue, but he pauses to collect his thoughts. Your lower lip is beginning to wobble, and he feels awful.
"You know how our childhoods affect us," he says, and the second what he's about to say to you clicks in your brain, your teeth clamp over your lip, and your eyes drop to the ground. "Reactions from parents to things we do, things others do, things they do, all builds up in our subconscious. Having a parent who didn't show up for you time and time again, built up in your subconscious. So yes, you're reacting to me not following through with something childishly. I will not take that back. But that reaction is not your fault. It's in response to a trigger, and the person in control of that emotional response is not adult you. It's the little girl who got let down by her father. I won't ever hold that against you."
Your sniffle breaks the deafening silence that follows his tangent. You allow him to envelop you into a hug, at which you break down into a fit of sobs akin to the ones from earlier.Â
"I hate you," you stutter out in between sobs, voice muffled by his chest.Â
"You can't say that while hugging me," he counters. It was true, as your hands had wrapped around his waist just seconds ago.
"I hate you," you repeat, punctuating your words with a poke to his back.Â
"I love you," he replies, instead. His fingers thread through your hair as he cradles your head with his other hand. "I'm sorry I didn't contact you about being busy."
You swallow the lodged sob in your throat with a hiccup. "I'm sorry I acted like a petulant child. And I'm sorry that my dad sucks."
"I'm sorry your dad sucks too," you feel him kiss the top of your head. "Have you eaten?"
"Mm-mm," you shake your head, and he pulls back, hands slipping down to your cheeks, catching the tears.Â
"Do you want to eat?"
"The restaurant we were going to is closed," you mumble.
"Maybe. But the Thai place isn't."
"I'm pretty sure it is," you counter, and his eyebrows furrow. "It's past midnight now."
His face falls, he waits a beat, before his hand drops to your own, and he's tugging you towards the door of the bedroom. "Okay. Fine. Well, the Spencer Reid Kitchen is never closed."
"I asked for pasta last night and you said the kitchen was closed."
"You asked at three in the morning," he deadpans, as you make yourself comfortable on one of the stools.Â
"The Spencer Reid Kitchen is never closed," you mock his voice from earlier.
"The Spencer Reid Kitchen rules are made by Spencer Reid."
"The rules should be lenient of Spencer Reid's girlfriend."
"Do you want pasta or not?"
"Yes," you quickly say with a firm nod. "Sorry."
He spends the first hour of that Saturday making you pasta; and making up the missed date.
your reblogs and replies are always appreciated âĄ
#liaâs fics âĄ#spencer reid#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fic#spencer reid imagine#spencer x reader#spencer x self insert#spencer reid x reader#criminal minds#criminal minds fic#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds imagine#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid angst#spencer reid x reader angst#spencer reid hurt/comfort#spencer reid x reader hurt/comfort
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Be So Stupid - S.R
a/n: this has been sitting in my WIPs for so long and i finally finished it! now going to reward myself with online shopping xoxo
kind of inspired by when jj and reid split up in season 2 i think? when morgan was kinda being rude to her but i picture like season 12-13 spence
masterlist
pairings: spencer reid x gn!reader
summary: you make a mistake while on a case nearly getting spencer killed, morgan has some choice words and spencer is ready to beat his ass over it
warnings: morgan being a little shit simply for the plot, mention of spencer almost dying, spencer being a protective king pussy boss
wc: 1.4k
How could you be so stupid?
Those were the words that had been on replay, a constant loop, for the past two days. It's because, somewhere inside, you knew Morgan was justified in what he said. How could you have been so stupid to split up with Spencer at the unsubs house?
He was taken by the unsub, a trigger pull away from death. But the team got there, and he was okay. He was alive and breathing and healthy, and you tried to focus on these facts when your chest tightened with that familiar agonizing twinge.
It was a relief not to face anyone afterward. As soon as you got home from the case, you holed yourself up in your apartment, obsessively dissecting the events until the recollections twisted your insides with a nauseating sense of dread. You had run through every potential scenario in your head, agonizing over the grim outcomes if you hadn't arrived when you did.
You would've never forgiven yourself.
So here you were, hiding out in Penelope's lair, doing your paperwork. You convinced yourself it wasn't hiding; rationalizing it as a need for more peace and quiet than the bullpen could offer. You knew it was bullshit, and so did Garcia.
"Just so you know, I'm fully prepared to kick his ass on your behalf," she announced, swiveling to face her monitors, the ribbons in her hair trailing her movement like colorful comets. "It was totally uncalled for. Everyone agrees."
"Everyone?"
"Well, okay, not Spencer, but that's only because he doesn't know," Garcia continued, her pen tapping a silent code against her cheek, followed by the clack of keys. "If he did, he'd definitely kick his ass."
"I don't know about that," you said, repeatedly stretching and releasing the hair tie around your wrist, each snap a self-inflicted reprimand.
"He called you stupid." She was shaking her head so vigorously her blonde locks tumbled into her eyes as she paused her typing to look at you. "And you, my gorgeous friend, are anything but."
"Generally speaking, sure, but this time, Pen, I really screwed up."
"Who called you stupid?"
Spencer's voice was incredibly hard to ignore, distinctâyou would recognize it anywhere.
Garcia and you stopped dead, your eyes growing impossibly large as she gave you a look as if to say, Morgan is screwed.
"No one."
"Morgan."
You and Garcia blurt your words out at the same time, your voices clashing in the air. You whipped your head to Garcia, the betrayal written on your face as she only shrugged her shoulders.
"Why would he say that to you?"
Spencer's steps towards you were measured, but each one amplified your unease, you hands wringing together as you looked away. He could read you like a book, and most times that was a good thing, but today it was definitely not.
"It's really not a big deal, Spencer," you insisted, pursing you lips as you dragged your gaze up and over him. "But how about you? How are you holding up?"
You were on your feet in an instant, a little too quickly, wobbling on your heel just a tab before Spencer grabbed your elbow. You ignore his touch, or at least you try, and press the back of your hand to his forehead.
He wasn't warm, but you sure were.
"You know, I don't think you should be back at work so soon."
You weren't lying when you said that. It seemed to soon. Was he looking a little pale? You couldn't tell. He should be home.
His hand was suddenly around your wrist, soft but firm, easing you away from his forehead, his eyes narrowing at you.
"Hey, I'm alright." He was trying to be assuring, offering a faint smile that only served to make your stomach do backflips. "Really, I am."
His fingers frapped around your wrist, not quite letting go, as he directed his attention to Garcia. "Why did he say that to her?"
"I'm right here," you grumbled under your breath, but Spencer was paying you no mind.
"I'm aware," Spencer answered without looking at you as his hands found their way to your shoulders, thumbs tracing absent patterns on your skin. "But you are not providing any answers."
Garcia cut in, folding her arms over her chest as her eyes pinned you with an unspoken accusation. "He said it because you two split up on the case."
Her words seemed to thicken the air itself, snatching away the previous ease as Spencer's expression darkened. It was a new and unsettling sight--the tightness in his jaw, the faint crease in his brows, and the steely sharpness in his eyes.
Without uttering a single syllable, he spun on his heel and strode out the door. You didn't hesitate to chase after him, an inkling of his destination propelling you forward. The look on his face had planted a seed of fear about what he was going to do.
Sure enough, there he was, just as you anticipated, in the middle of the bull pit. His gaze locked on Morgan with a laser-like precision, like a hawk eyeing its prey.
"How could you say that to her?" His voice was jagged, hands thumping against Morgan's shoulders in a way that you frantically looked around for Hotch. "What? Were you trying to make her feel bad? What's the matter with you?"
"Easy, Spencer, what are you getting at?" Morgan's hands went up defensively. But when Spencer's eyes flickered to you, the puzzle pieces clicked into place. "Oh..."
Morgan's eyes found yours. "Come here, sugar."
Morgan was your friend, a good one at that, and you really didn't blame him for what he said. He had good intentions. But here in the bullpen being open and exposed you found yourself stalling, glancing towards Spencer.
Only after he gave you a nod did you take that tentative step forward, clammy palms running down your pants as you stood in front of Morgan.
"Look, I was out of line. Calling you stupid was stupid of me," he started, hand grabbing on your upper arm as he spoke. "We've all been in tough spots and I was an asshole for adding to the pressure instead of helping you through it."
And you knew he meant it, even if it took Spencer nearly coming to blows to bring it about.Â
"It's okay, I know you didn't mean it, Morgan. And it was my fault really, for not staying with Spencer."
"First off, we made that call together, so if anyone's at fault, it's both of us," Spencer reminded, his hand settling on your lower back as he moved closer to you. His gaze then drilled into Morgan. "And second, Morgan, she's too nice. I say you owe her a month's work of paperwork at least."
You opened your mouth to object, but Morgan cut you off, his hand on your shoulder stopping me mid-breath. "After what I said? I'll do you one better--I'll handle your paperwork for two months."
He was gone before you could even thank him, making his way towards the break room, leaving you and Spencer.
"Hey, look at me." You did, raising your eyes to meet his. "What happened on that last caseâit's not on you. We made a call, and we did it with the best intentions. It's not your fault."
He regarded you so... softly. It stirred a flutter of goosebumps across your skin, your hands rubbing up and down your arms as if to smooth away the sensation.
"Seeing you in that situation, so close to..." You paused, drawing in a ragged breath as the sickening memories came flooding back. "I can't help but feel responsible. It's a tough guilt to shake."
He rearranged a lock of hair behind your ear.Â
"It's a cognitive distortion to assume sole responsibility, but that's just your brain tricking you." Taking your hand he pressed it over his heart. "A human heart beats over two billion times in a lifetime. And every beat right now is telling you, I'm all good."
You could feel his heartbeatâthump, thumpâagainst your palm. You caught yourself wanting to know what it would be like to fall asleep to the sound.
You were so close to each other now, the distance, or lack thereof, slightly overwhelming. "You're all good?"
He gave your hand a squeeze. "I'm all good."
You remained motionless, hand pressed to his chest, wondering if your heart could ever beat in sync with his.
taglist: @hotchhner @khxna @readergf @sarcasm-and-stiles @edencherries @aurorsworld @princess76179 @malindacath
#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x fem reader#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid angst#spencer reid hurt/comfort#spencer reid#dr reid#criminal minds x reader#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid fic
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like a lover
he doesnât answer. he doesnât even look at you again. he just shakes his head and walks into the bedroom. by the time you follow him, heâs sitting on the edge of the bed, elbows on his knees, staring at the floor like it holds the answer to whateverâs boiling inside him. fine. If he wants to ice you out, two can play that game.
pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader (second person, no y/n)
genre: hurt comfort
content: student!reader gets drunk after a brutal final and spencer is beyond mad. very brief mention of abduction. lowkey spencer is in the right bc #safety but he made reader cry n for that he is found #guilty!!!
word count: 3.1k
note: based off this ask! random fact the last line of this fic was the inspiration for empty my soul but idk why i just couldnt fit it in there, anyways i hope you guys like it! (pls tell me if u do i was struggling with a resolution for this)
a line: Spencer thinks, for a split second, that heâd rather die than ever have to see you cry like that again.
I give you an onion. It is a moon wrapped in brown paper. It promises light like the careful undressing of love. Here. It will blind you with tears like a lover. It will make your reflection a wobbling photo of grief. I am trying to be truthful. - carol ann duffy
You probably shouldâve stopped five drinks agoâmaybe four if you were feeling merciful. That last Vodka cran? A spectacularly bad idea. But whatever. You earned this. Youâre young, youâre fun, you look good, and for the first time in weeks, you have no deadlines clawing at you. The final had been a nightmare. You knew your fate was sealed the second you flipped to question three. What the hell is textual and symbolic environmentalisation? But itâs over now. Thatâs all that matters.
The wind bites at your bare legs as you stand by the curb, aimlessly kicking a pebble. You hug your arms close, fighting off the chill. Maybe you shouldâve brought a jacket. Spencer had suggested it, but youâd waved him off. Heâs usually right.
You frown, glancing up at the street sign. He said heâd be here. Right? Your phoneâs dying battery blinks at you in its final moments, mocking you before shutting off completely. Definitely shouldâve taken his offer of a portable charger, too. You sigh, shifting your weight from one foot to the other.
A man stumbles by, reeking of booze. You donât need to look to know.
"Hey," he calls out, voice slurred and gravelly.
You keep your eyes down, pretending not to hear.
âHey,â he says again, louder this time.
Where the hell is Spencer?
"Dâyou know when the bus starts running again?"
You hesitate, half-relieved that heâs asking something semi-coherent. "IâIâm sorry, Iâm not sure."
He nods to himself, swaying on his feet.Â
"I told you to wait by the bodega on 3rd," a familiar voice mutters. Spencerâs hand closes around your arm, already steering you away.
"Oh, hey," you say softly, relief washing over you. "Is this notâ" You glance at the street sign overheadâ4 Maple Drive. Shit. "Iâsorry, I thoughtâ"
"Itâs fine," he says, but the sharp edge in his voice tells you itâs not.
The car ride is suffocatingly silent. When he pulls open the passenger door for you, thereâs no trace of his usual warmth. No soft smile, no gentle tease about your perpetually dead phone. Just a click of the door and the quiet thud of it shutting behind you.
You hate this. Hate the tension humming between you, the way his jaw is set tight as he drives. He was so different this afternoon, greeting you after your final with those cupcakes he knows you love from the bakery on the other side of town, his lips brushing yours in endless, giddy kisses. This Spencer is nothing like that.Â
"They played âDancing Queenâ tonight," you venture, voice tentative. He knows itâs your favourite. Knows it always pulls you to the dance floor, no matter how tired or tipsy you are. "It was so funnyâsome guy bought us a round of shotsâ"
"And you drank it?"
The question lands heavy. His first words to you since heâd started driving.Â
"Well... yeah?"
"What else did you drink?"
"Not a lot," you say quickly, tripping over your words. "Just vodka, tequila, a bit of wineâ"
"You mixed?"Â
The way he says it makes you bristle. Thereâs a hint of disbelief, maybe even disappointment.Â
"Spence," you say softly. "Iâm not that drunk, I promise."
Nothing.
His knuckles tighten on the steering wheel. The silence in the air is almost tangible, a crackling, oppressive thing. When he pulls into the driveway and kills the engine, he doesnât move to open your door. He always does that. But not tonight.Â
Youâre pretty sure heâs mad at you, though youâre not entirely sure why. Itâs not like you go out that often, and you canât even remember the last time you let yourself get this drunk. Tonight was an exception, a celebration. He understands, doesnât he?
You follow him inside, trailing behind like a shadow. He doesnât head to the kitchen like he does after you get back from a night outâno tea, no toast, no quiet ritual of making sure youâre okay. Instead, he walks straight into the study, his back to you. Yeah, heâs definitely mad.Â
"Youâre mad at me," you say, standing in the doorway.
He doesnât answer. His hands grip the back of his chair, his head bowed like heâs trying to gather himself. Youâre not one to push, usually giving him the space he needs when he gets all broody like this, but the alcohol thatâs running through your system is making it hard to practice patience.Â
"Why are you mad at me?"
Still nothing.Â
When he finally moves, itâs only to brush past you, heading for the bedroom without so much as a glance. "Weâll talk about this tomorrow," he says, his tone flat, clipped. "I canât talk to you when youâre like this."
This. The word hits like a slap, sharp and dismissive. It irks you.Â
"If you didnât want to come, then you shouldnât have come," you mutter under your breath, the words slipping out before you can stop them. "I couldâve gotten a rideâ"
"You were slurring on the phone." He stops in the hallway, turning just enough for you to see the tight set of his jaw.Â
"Yeah, no shit, Spencer. People slur when they drink," you fire back a little too harshly, the alcohol fueling your irritation as you cross your arms defensively.
"Donât," he warns, his voice low, dangerous in a way that makes your chest tighten.
ââYou glare at him, heat rising in your cheeks. "Donât what? Donât point out how ridiculous youâre being right now?"
He doesnât answer. He doesnât even look at you again. He just shakes his head and walks into the bedroom. By the time you follow him, heâs sitting on the edge of the bed, elbows on his knees, staring at the floor like it holds the answer to whateverâs boiling inside him. Fine. If he wants to ice you out, two can play that game.
You head to the bathroom without a word, your movements jerky as you swipe at the remnants of your makeup. You grab your moisturizer, fingers fumbling with the cap. A sharp tug and it goes flying out of your hands, clattering to the floor.Â
"Fuck," you mutter, bracing yourself for a bout of instability as you bend down to retrieve it.
Before you can grab it, Spencer moves. He scoops it up, straightening with an ease that feels almost mocking. When you meet his eyes, theyâre unfamiliar. Itâs not the Spencer you know. Not the Spencer who covers your eyes during scary movies or kisses your forehead when youâre half-asleep. No, this Spencer feels distant, cold.Â
"And Iâm supposed to believe youâre not that drunk," he says flatly. Your chest tightens, a lump forming in your throat as heat flushes your face. He offers a hand as you steady yourself, trying to rise to your feet, but you brush him off, snatching the bottle from his grip with a bitterness you donât try to mask.Â
"What the hell is your problem?" you snap.
"My problem?" he repeats, incredulous. "Iâm not the one blackout drunk on a Wednesday night."
"Iâm notâ"
"Would youâwould you just stop!" he barks, the words sharp enough to make you flinch. "Youâre slurring your words. You got the streets wrong. You couldnât even get the damn moisturizer open," he snaps, gesturing toward you harshly with a mixture of frustration and exasperation.
Your knuckles whiten as you cling to the edge of the sink, unsure if youâre holding on for balance or just to keep from breaking. You spin back toward the mirror willing yourself not to cry. The frustration, the confusion, the ache in your chestâeverything wells up at once.
"God, youâre being soâ"
"So what?" he interrupts, his voice rising as he steps closer. His eyes bore into yours, daring you to say it. "So concerned? So worried? Soâ"
"So fucking mean!"
The silence that follows deafening. For a moment, he freezes, the hard edges of his expression softening into something elseâshock, regret, guiltâbut itâs fleeting.
"So what if Iâm drunk?" Your voice cracks as the words tumble out, your frustration too overwhelming to contain. "And yeah, maybeâ" You shake your head, swallowing the lump in your throat as you glare at him, "Maybe Iâm slurring a little but forgive me for wanting a drink after the final Iâve been stressing over all fucking month."
He exhales sharply, running a hand through his hair, his frustration barely contained. "Itâs not about you having a drink. Itâs about you not knowing your limitsâ"
"Oh, for fucks sake," you interrupt, throwing your hands up. The movement makes you sway slightly, and you hate how it only seems to prove his point. "Newsflash, Spencer, Iâm a university student. Sometimes we get drunk. You donât get to make me feel like shit just because you donât drink.â
You push past him, your shoulder grazing his as you move to sit on the edge of the bed. The mattress dips under your weight, and you grip the edge, willing the room to stop spinning.
"You were being reckless," he bites back, the word hanging heavy in the air. "You donât see what I see. Youâre out alone, you donâtâ"
"I wasnât alone," you say, your voice rising to meet his. "I had friendsâ"
"Yeah, friends who left you alone on a curb at 3am," he shoots back, cutting you off. The words land with precision, a calculated jab, but you refuse to flinch.
"Because you said you were on the way!" you fire back.
His voice is cold now, practically seething. "And what do you think wouldâve happened if I hadnât reached you just as that guy was coming on to you?"
"He was asking for the bus!" you shoot back, the words ringing out louder than you intended. You hate everything about this fight. You hate how unfamiliar he feels, hate the part of you that wonders if youâre the one who brought this out of him. "Nothing wouldâveâ"
Spencerâs expression darkens, his gaze narrowing. "Nothing?" He scoffs. "Tell that to Nina Radha. To Caroline Wrenley. To Mindy Denver. They were all âjust waiting for a ride homeâ last week. And now? All abducted. All dead."Â
The room goes silent. Your chest tightens, and the fight drains out of you as his meaning sinks in.Â
"Youâre being cruel," your words are barely audible, trembling on the edge of your lips. The tears come faster now, streaking your face, but you donât bother wiping them away. "Whyâ" you whisper, weak and watery, "Why are you being like this?"Â
When Spencer finally turns to look at you, the sight of your tears stops him cold. They streak your face in uneven paths, and he feels something inside him splinter. Spencer never likes seeing you cryâhe hates it, actually. Itâs not just discomfort or unease; itâs a literal, physical ache. But knowing heâs the reason for your tears tonight? Thatâs pain in its most visceral form. Itâs failure in its purest state.
"Iâ" he starts, his voice faltering. It cracks mid-sentence, and he stops, swallowing hard. His breath shudders as he exhales, trying to find the words, but all that comes out is a quiet, broken, "I was scared."Â
Your tears have momentarily slowed, caught off guard by the sudden shift in his tone. The anger in his voice has faded, replaced by something softer, something rawâfear, tangled with guilt, with regret. He takes a tentative step closer, then hesitates, unsure of what to do.Â
"I thought that⌠something couldâve happened to you, and IâI didnât know how to handle it."Â
After a moment, he lowers himself to your level, crouching in front of you. He lifts his hand, reaching out to wipe away the tears that stain your face. But the instant his fingers near you, you flinch, turning your head to avoid his touch. The movement is small, but Spencerâs heart shatters at the rejection all the same. He hates that heâs made you cry, hates that you wonât let him near you, hates that you wonât even look at him.
"Iâm sorry," he says, the words low and weighted with sincerity. He knows itâs not enough, but itâs all he has left to give.Â
Your tears fall, dripping onto your hands that rest limply in your lap. You shake your head, your shoulders tense, refusing to meet his eyes. The rejection stings, sharper than he expected, but he doesnât blame you. He knows he deserves this. The room is still except for the sound of your quiet sniffles.Â
Spencer tries again, his voice quieter now, almost pleading. "I justâ" His breath catches as he exhales, his hand running through his hair in agitation, the movement more to calm himself than anything else. "When I saw you standing there aloneâalone and with that man, I got scared. And I lashed out. I shouldnât have. You didnâtâ you didnât deserve that."
The silence that follows is thick, but finally, you break it. Your voice is quiet, bitter.Â
"Iâm not them."
Youâre still not meeting his eyes, still keeping that distance, but at least itâs something.Â
"Those girls⌠Iâm not them, Spencer."
"I know, I know. I wasâ", his voice is low, the regret weighing heavily on every syllable.
ââ"That case was tough on you, I know it was," you interrupt, "And what happened to those girls, it was horrible. But I'm not them, Spence. I'm notâŚ" Spencer watches helplessly as you furiously wipe away a tear from your cheek.Â
"I'm not dead. I'm here."
âI was projecting, Iââ His voice catches, âI shouldnât have taken it out on you,â he admits quietly. You nod, grimly. Another single, heavy tear slips down your cheek and Spencer feels his heart break all over again.Â
"I know youâre scared. How do you think I feel every time you go out into the field?" You take a deep breath, and say bitterly, "I get it."Â
Each word is a struggle, but you say it with conviction. He can see how much youâre holding in, the effort it takes for you to keep your voice from cracking.Â
You pause, swallowing hard as you steady yourself, "But youâYou donât get to talk to me like that." When your eyes meet his, they flash with both anger and sadness. "You donât get to take that out on me."Â
"I know, IâThat wasâI was being horrible, I was an ass," Spencer admits, his voice small. "You didnât deserve that, honey. God, Iâm justâIâm so, so, sorry."Â
You look at him for a long moment, searching for any sign that heâs being sincere. All you see is regret, raw and heavy. And something else, something softer. Love. He reaches out, and this time you donât pull away. Just getting to touch you is a brief, bittersweet, blinding relief. Spencer lets his fingers graze your cheek as he wipes away your tears gently, his thumb brushing over the wet path theyâve left behind.Â
A soft, almost bitter laugh escapes you. "An ass is putting it lightly."Â
Spencerâs chest tightens, a small breath of relief escaping him, though itâs quickly replaced with guilt. "Mâso sorry sweetheart," he breathes out, comforted by the familiar bite in your tone. It lightens the air between you, just a little.
He shifts to sit next to you on the bed. "I didnâtâI really didnât mean to," he says quietly. You rest your head on his shoulder, letting out a soft sigh, the fight slowly draining out of you. Spencer gently takes your hands, cradling them in his.Â
"IâI never want to hurt you, never want to make you cry. Ever." Spencer's voice cracks slightly as he talks, fingers tracing your palm. "You know that, right?"
You nod, your voice small but steady. "I know."
Shifting, you tuck your legs beneath you, turning to face him fully. Your hands lift to cup his face gently, your thumbs brushing against the faint stubble on his jaw. The touch is tender, almost protective, as you guide his face to meet yours. His eyes canât hold your gaze for long, shame clearly written across them.
"I was justâI wasâ" He stumbles over his words.
"Scared," you finish softly, filling the silence for him.Â
"IâIâm sorry," Spencerâs voice falters, "Iâm really sorry honey, I shouldâve neverâThat wasâ"
Your hands guide his face back toward yours, coaxing him to meet your eyes. This time, he doesnât resist, his breath shaky as he clings to the comfort you offer. "Sâokay, baby. Mânot mad anymore," you murmur.
"Sad?" he asks, his voice barely audible, like heâs afraid of what youâll say.
"No," you smile faintly, shaking your head, "Not sad, baby," you whisper, leaning closer. Your thumb traces the curve of his cheek in silent reassurance. His shoulders relax just a little. "I justâ" you sigh as you let out one last, quiet sniffle, "I really hate fighting."Â
Carefully, he coaxes you into his lap, his arms wrapping around you. "Me too, honey," he says, his voice thick with emotion as he shifts closer. You donât resist, letting your head rest in the crook of his neck, your breath warm against his skin.
"Sânot nice," you murmur against him, your words muffled.
"I know, I know," Spencer whispers, his fingers tracing slow, soothing circles along your back. You let out a shaky sigh, sinking further into his embrace. âWas awful, wasnât it?â he says, quietly.
"Mhm," you mumble quietly, your voice soft but pointed as you lean into his touch. "Made me cry," you say, looking at him through wet lashes to prove your point. Spencer thinks, for a split second, that heâd rather die than ever have to see you cry like that again. After a beat of quiet, he tilts his head just enough to press a soft kiss to your temple.Â
"I love you, you know that?"Â
You hum softly, nuzzling your face into his neck with a contented sigh, "Love you too."
"Love you so much, sweet girl," he says again, quieter this time, like itâs a truth meant only for you.
"Sap," you tease, lifting your head just enough to meet his gaze, the faintest hint of a smile on your lips.
Spencer grins, soft and boyish. "Always for you," he mumbles fondly, and before you can respond, he leans forward, pressing a playful kiss to the tip of your nose.
You stick your tongue out at him in mock protest, but heâs already chasing the moment. A kiss lands on your cheek. Then another on the other side. Each one dripping with easy affection.Â
"Spenceâ" you laugh, the sound bubbling up. It spreads a warmth through Spencerâs chest.Â
"My sweet girl," he says quietly, almost to himself.Â
His smile only grows as he drinks in the sound of your giggles, tears long gone. He presses a fluttering series of kisses across your form until youâre laughing into his lips, each kiss softer than the last.Â
One on your cheek, two on your shoulder, a thousand on your lips.
ââ´ď¸Ë・â hi if you're here! thank you for reading! feel free to like or reblog or comment or reply!
áŻâ
song recs if you feel like it: false god by taylor swift moon river by frank ocean
#spencer reid#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fic#spencer reid imagine#spencer x reader#spencer x self insert#spencer reid x reader#criminal minds#criminal minds fic#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds imagine#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid x you#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid x reader fluff#spencer reid angst#spencer reid x reader angst#spencer reid x reader comfort
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You write fluff and flangst absolutely amazingly and Iâm in awe every dang time!
Buuut since youâve got spring break coming up, a little fic idea thatâs in my head that Iâll never do justice! (If youâre interested)
Fem!reader finding out an adorable way to tell Spencer sheâs pregnant. I donât care if theyâre dating or married or what - but like she puts together a crossword, or a puzzle and he just doesnât get it. (If you wanna throw angst in, he leaves without getting it for a case and then realizes it in the middle of the night.)
puzzling | S.R.
trying to tell Spencer you're pregnant, but he's too concerned with your well-being to fill out your custom crossword puzzle
who? spencer reid x fem!reader category: fluff content warnings: pregnancy and misc. symptoms., talk of fainting and blood tests. word count: 1.69k a/n: welcome back to the spencer reid dilf agenda! i hope this does your request justice and thank you for entrusting me with this idea!!!! <3
you
It was your pride and joy, the collection of folded papers that sat on the kitchen counter, next to a cup of coffee that you had already filled for him.
On your fake newspaper, you had created a custom crossword puzzle. With four very important clues.
Across: âEarly stage of lifeâ
Across: âAmerican actress Frances _â
Down: âMust be finished byâ
Down: âVeteranâs Day monthâ
You smiled softly to yourself as you heard Spencerâs footsteps coming down the staircase. Padding over to the kitchen counter, you sat on one of the stools, a cup of tea in front of you.
Before he even looked at the newspaper, Spencer leaned over to kiss you good morning, âYou look tired,â he whispered, hooking a finger under your chin as if he were investigating the dark circles underneath your eyes.
âWay to make a girl feel good about herself,â you teased lightly, even though you knew he was right. At least you felt tired.
He rolled his eyes, âYou know thatâs not what I meant.â Turning to grab his mug of coffee off of the counter, he observed you again, âAre you sure your doctor said nothing was wrong?â
Smiling, you gave him a brief nod. You had gone to see your doctor a few days ago for nausea and fatigue, and Spencer wouldâve gone with you had he not been on the other side of the country on a case. âTheyâre running some tests, but they didnât see anything blatantly wrong,â the doctor was running a few blood tests, checking your iron levels and HCG.
Using his free hand, Spencer reached over and moved a lock of hair out of your face, âThey said your blood pressure was low?â
Low blood pressure, as it turned out, was a pregnancy symptom that was most common in the first trimester. âYouâre freaking out over nothing, Spence,â you told him. Really, it was something. A rather large something â or small, depending on how you wanted to look at it. âCome on, itâs crossword time,â you told him, using the end of the pen to tap on the newspaper.
âI worry about you when Iâm away. You do know that low blood pressure can cause syncope, right? Did they prescribe you anything for it?â He asked, ignoring your wishes to move on and do the crossword.
There was a small part of you that just wanted to tell him, but frankly, you had worked too hard on the crossword puzzle to give yourself away like that. You couldnât tell him that they didnât prescribe you anything because they didnât know how far along you were. A larger part of you knew that if you just got him to work on the puzzle, he would have his answers in about seven minutes.
Then his phone rang, he pulled the device out of his pocket, and the Caller ID on the screen caused you to slump your shoulders forward. It was Garcia. âHey Garcia,â he greeted on the phone, âat the tarmac?â
You set your head on the counter and sighed in defeat as Spencer hung up the phone.
âAre you alright?â He asked you softly, tenderly wrapping an arm around your torso.
Humming, you sat back up, ignoring the stars in your field of vision as you did so. âIâm fine, you should go,â you insisted.
Spencer shook his head, âNo, youâre sick. Iâll call Garcia back and tell her I have to stay back.â Acting bewildered at the idea that he had been so remiss as to agree to do his job while you were unwell.
You reached out and set a hand on his, âItâs alright, love. I can take care of myself,â you reminded him. Besides the fact that you were wholly self-sufficient, the only reason why Spencer would be asked to meet the team at the tarmac was if they were headed toward a particularly gnarly case â they needed all hands on deck.
âPromise me youâll check in? Call your mom if you need any help, please,â he requested, pleading eyes following you as you got up to hug him.
Nodding, you wrapped your arms around him, âYou should take the crossword with you.â Pulling away, you haphazardly refolded the newspaper and handed it to him.
Furrowing his brow, Spencer inspected the paper that you had given him. âWe always do the crossword together on Saturdays,â he found you incredibly helpful on the pop culture clues. âWe could save this one and then have two for next week,â he offered.
God. No. Your eyes widened at the idea of having to keep your secret for another week, shaking your head, you shrugged, âNo, you should take it. Itâll make me look forward to next week even more,â you insisted.
He folded, and with a sweet kiss to the forehead, he was off to go save lives, remaining entirely unaware of the one growing inside of you.
him
The judgmental Italian behind him was proving to be a distraction, âDid you find something?â Spencer asked, eyeing the evidence board with frustration. Something bugged him about the case, and he couldnât figure out exactly what it was.
âNot right now, but itâs three in the morning,â Rossi said, joining Spencer by the evidence board. âWhy donât you give that big brain of yours a break?â
Shaking his head, Spencer crossed his arms in front of his chest, âI tried. I canât stop thinking about the case.â Men were popping up dead in a small Missouri town at an alarming rate, and he felt so close to a breakthrough.
Dave nodded like he understood the feeling, that was probably why he had emerged from his hotel room so early, returning to the precinct before the sun peeked over the horizon. âWhat do you usually do to wind your brain down?â
Raising his eyebrows, Spencer shrugged, âCrossword puzzles,â he admitted, any word puzzle would do the trick.
The chuckle from the older man next to him startled Spencer, âNow, why doesnât that surprise me?â Rossi looked around the precinct, âIâm sure we can find one around here somewhere.â
âNo,â Spencer said, âI have one in my bag, actually.â He refrained from including the detail that you had given him the crossword puzzle, or else heâd never hear the end of it.
Clapping him on the back, Rossi lifted his coffee cup, âThen I suggest you go take the thirty seconds to fill out that puzzle and then get some rest.â
Once he was back in his hotel room, he changed before pulling out the pile of papers that you had sent him off with. Sitting on top of the bed, he filled out the puzzle in approximately six minutes and forty-three seconds. Once the letters were filled in, he skimmed the puzzle â just to check it over.
The only one that mightâve given him trouble was about an American actress â usually he had you to help him with pop culture, but he recalled having the same last name as an actress in Days of Our Lives.
It was interesting that the words âBabyâ and âReidâ were right next to each other.
Wait.
Quickly, he calculated the odds that the words âBabyâ âReidâ âDueâ and âNovemberâ were all in the puzzle and when the numbers were put together, they made your anniversary. Spencer just as quickly called you, listening to the phone ringing.
His heart was racing as he waited to see if you answered the phone. âHey,â your groggy voice came through the receiver.
âWhere did you get this crossword puzzle?â He asked you, flipping through the rest of the newspaper for the first time.
You hummed softly, âYouâre doing it right now?â
Looking at the alarm clock on his bedside table, he dropped his face into his hands. âIâm sorry, love. I didnât even think about the time,â it was just past four in the morning now, making it just past five in the morning in Virginia. âI just thought thatâŚâ his voice trailed off. What if it was just a coincidence?
There was silence on your end of the call, and he wondered if you had fallen asleep. You hadnât been feeling well, and heâd woken you up with his phone call. âYou thought what, Spence?â
The teasing lilt in your voice had given you away to him immediately. He knew. Every one of his suspicions were confirmed, âY/N Reid,â he breathed.
âSpencer Reid,â you countered.
He took a deep breath, âAre you pregnant?â
âYeah,â you answered simply, with about as much enthusiasm as he expected from you at five in the morning.
It all started to make sense to him. The low blood pressure, the drowsiness, and even the slight caginess when it came to him asking about your doctorâs visit. He swiped away a few stray tears, âI donât know what to say.â It wasnât a feeling he was overly used to.
You cleared your throat, âAre you happy?â Nerves clouded your voice, and he could hear you becoming more awake â more alert.
âI am,â he searched aimlessly. Elated. Thrilled. Ecstatic. âIâm so happy,â he told you, at a loss for words. âI donât know what to say, I just⌠God, are you okay?â Dread washed over him, you were alone, sick, and pregnant at home and he was halfway across the country.
Sighing, he heard a ruffling on the other end of the call. âIâm great. Iâm exhausted, I had no idea being pregnant was so tiring. I mean, I knew, but I didnât know.â You sighed again, âIâm not making any sense.â
He laughed lightly at your rambling, âYouâre making perfect sense. Chances are your energy will return during the second trimester.â
âDonât get my hopes up.â You paused again for just a moment, âIâm sorry if I scared you. With the whole doctorâs appointment thing. They really are keeping an eye on my blood pressure and whole slew of other things, but they know the root cause.â
A giddy smile grew on his face, âItâs because youâre pregnant.â
A soft hum came through the phone, âItâs because Iâm pregnant,â you concurred.
#criminal minds#spencer reid#criminal minds fanfic#spencer reid fanfic#criminal minds fanfiction#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#written by margot#criminal minds fluff#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fic#criminal minds fic#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid angst#criminal minds angst#spencer reid hurt/comfort#criminal minds hurt/comfort#margot's requests#mindfullymutual#spencer reid dilf agenda
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they really told us to trust the process
#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid oneshot#spencer reid scenario#spencer reid x oc#nerdy spencer reid#spencer reid angst#spencer reid smut#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid criminal minds#doctor spencer reid#dr spencer reid#spencer reid cm#spencer reid comfort#spencer reid core#criminal minds moodboard#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds smut#criminal minds fic#criminal minds fluff#criminal minds imagine#criminalmindsedit#derek morgan criminal minds#criminal minds fanfic
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look after you
an: this my first x reader fic LMAOO, i needed to write smth and this spencer was on my brain :// i am in the middle of a rly long donna fic but i cba this was much easier. also i absolutley have not proof read this sorry
synopsis: you get hurt while hunting down an unsub, after some reluctance (and kind words from papa rossi) you let spencer take care of you, 1.7k words
cw: descriptions of violence, panic attack, spencer swears and can drive (the most un-canon thing abt him) umm italians..., the rest is just fluffy, hurt/comfort, x reader but no y/n
masterlist
The unsub had his gun pointed at you, the cold press of the barrel against flesh. He was ranting and raving about needing to be seen and understood, having spent his childhood in emotional neglect. Teachers and parents failed him at every turn, itâs not his fault that this happened but he can fix it if he just drops the gun. Rossi tried to tell him this over and over, but he only got more angry, pushing the gun in harder and harder.Â
If you were to open your eyes, you wouldâve seen JJ and Luke there too, guns trained on the unsub. Their eyes glancing between you, the unsub, and the gun. But you didnât. Not until the bang went off and you could breathe again.Â
The flashing lights of the ambulance do nothing to dissuade the pressing headache you feel coming on, the movement of people helps even less. You watch as the EMTâs cart the unsub away on a gurney, sheet covering him.Â
âYou okay, kid?â Rossi asks from beside you, he had been hovering ever since the ambulance arrived.Â
âIâm fine, just need a good night's rest. Iâll be good as new.â You hummed half-heartedly.Â
David Rossi always knew when someone was lying to him, part of that talent comes from his job as a profiler, but itâs mostly because of some ancient Italian magic. âIâm gonna pretend you didnât say that to me. Look, Hotch is on his way with Reid and Emily. Theyâre gonna be taking some witness statements, but I imagine Boy Wonder will be a little distracted. I want you to let him take care of you, ok? Youâve been through hell tonight kid, let him worry.â
Italians never lie, although you wish they did. Spencer had very obviously caught feelings for you, everyone on the team could see it. Unfortunately, so could you. Spencer Reid was one of the kindest, most genuine people you had ever met, always putting other people's needs before his own. A voice in your head kept telling you that there is nothing you have done to deserve someone like him doting all over you? You had only brought trouble to the people who loved you. Eventually you learned that it was better to just keep everyone at a distance; if you donât let them in, they canât get hurt. Which worked well, up until Spencer.
He had such a wormy way of getting into your brain at the worst times; whether it was when you were alone in your kitchen, or at slightly dangerous, very inappropriate times on a case. You couldnât stop thinking about him and his stupidly cute (and sometimes ill-timed) facts. Some part of you wanted to let him in, in the end the stubborn side always took over.Â
Before long, you heard the worried cries of Spencer trying to find you in the chaos. Rossi called his name and gave you a pat on the shoulder, âRemember, you deserve to be looked after too.â and left to find Hotch.
âOh my god, are you okay? We tried to get here as soon as we could, but they managed to take down the unsub right? What happened, did he hurt you? How did you get so close? Talk to me are-â Oh, how he rambles.Â
âSpencer, Iâm fine. I just need to⌠rest, you know. He didnât hurt me that bad, just a sprained wrist, couple bruises. Couldâve been worse.â
He spluttered, âCouldâve- you know, that doesnât make this any better, I was so worried about you. He had a fucking gun to your head, I was going insane thinking about what couldâve happened. What did the EMT say about your wrist?â
âJust to rest it, and use an ice pack if it starts to swell or hurt.â You couldnât look him in the eye, he was so worried about you. It made butterflies dance in your belly, but there was a twinge of guilt there too. He was so busy, he worked so hard and then went home to look after his mom. He had too much on his plate, how could you add more to it? âSpence, Iâm really sorry about worrying you. I should be fine to leave now, so Iâll just head home and sleep it off. Have a good night.â You pushed yourself off the ambulance, eyes focused downwards, restless fingers fidgeting with the already frayed bandage.
âNo- wait what are you talking about? Youâre gonna drive yourself home in this condition? I canât let you do that, even thinking about it makes me feel sick.â He lowered his head to yours and spoke softer this time, âPlease let me take you home. I donât have to stay, I just want to make sure youâre ok, ok?â
Fuck that voice did things to you. Leaning from side to side, you thought about what Rossi had said earlier. Maybe, it was ok to let someone in? It would be cruel to let him suffer more, not knowing if you were ok or somehow got in a car crash with 5 other vehicles on your way home. Just this once, you think.
Looking up into his soft eyes, you give a small nod. His lips immediately turned up into a smile, his hand comes up to cup your head, fingers stroking your cheek. It felt⌠nice. His thumb was calloused but he still moisturised enough for it to feel smooth, and he smelled like lemongrass and ginger. His hand fell to the small of your back as he guided you to his car. Ever the gentlemen, he opened your door and softly placed his hand over your head as you got in. Manoeuvring himself into the driver's side, he pulled out his phone and typed something, then quickly stuffed it away into a pocket and turned on the engine.
The sky was dark when you woke up. The unsub had a gun to your head at dusk, and Spencer was walking into your apartment when the moon was out. He took off his shoes and the door, and walked into your living room.
âIâve never been here before,â he mused. âI like it.â
He looked at ease wandering around your apartment, his shoulders had relaxed and he let out soft musings as he perused your photo collections.
âOh Spencer, not that one, itâs embarrassing!â You tried (with not a lot of effort) to pull him away from the frame.
âNo this is cute, was this when you were at University?â He asked, wrapping an arm around you.
Oh my god. âYeah, um- those were some of my friends at the time. I try and keep in touch but, you know.â
He hummed, pulling you closer into him. Finally content, he looked down at you. âHowâs your wrist?â
âItâs ok,â you shrugged, âjust a little tender now.â
âWhereâs your kitchen, I can get some ice.â
âSpence-â you wanted to tell him no, to go home and look after himself. But his body was so warm, having him so close to you melted your brain, leaving you unable to think of any good reason as to why he should leave. âItâs the first door on the right.â
His grip tightened for a moment before he swiftly navigated you to the sofa, and turned to leave for the kitchen. The cold of the apartment rushed to get you as soon as he unraveled his arms. You hadnât been alone all day since the unsubs attack, it somehow felt more claustrophobic. His hand on your throat, squeezing the air from your lungs. The way he grabbed your arm, contorting it so he could throw you to the ground. The gun, pressed into your forehead. The knowledge that the only thing between you being alive, and you being in a ditch, was a madman's finger on the trigger. Reality faded as each memory pressed further and further into your mind. You werenât in your apartment anymore, you could feel the cold concrete beneath your hands. The thick air in your lungs, Rossi and the unsub shouting.
A hand on your knee, a soft voice bringing you back. There was no unsub, no gun to your head. You were alive. You were alive and Spencer was in your apartment, wiping the tears that had fallen down your face.
âYou with me?â His voice was so soft, you couldnât recall ever hearing Spencer raise his voice in anger. He was so gentle when he touched you.Â
The floodgates burst, choked sobs made their way past your lips. Your shoulder shook as you cried, pressing yourself into Spencerâs arms. âOh honey,â He murmured, pressing his lips into your head, softly rocking you back and forth as you sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. It was too much. You could have died today. Very nearly did. You werenât ready to die, not yet at least.
As your cries softened into hiccups, you pushed yourself back from Spencer. âIâm sorry, that was so disgusting. It just all- I donât know.â
 âHey, you donât ever have to apologise to me ok? What you went through was really scary, Iâd honestly be more shocked if you didnât cry.â His hand moved to draw soothing shapes along your back as you leaned back into him. âYou want to watch something to calm down? I brought you some water and an ice pack for your wrist.â
He would be the death of you. You nod and push yourself back into the sofa, moving your wrist to rest in your lap. Spencer gently places the ice pack across your wrist and grips the tips of your fingers. He leans forward to push your cup of water towards you and grabs the TV remote, then turns and leans back so your side is pressed into his front. Truthfully, Spencer didnât seem like the type to watch cable TV but he navigated the menu with somewhat ease.Â
âLook at whatâs on! Itâs your favourite isnât it, you want me to put it on.â He said as he nudged your shoulder.
He remembered your favourite film, of course he would remember it he has an eidetic memory. You hummed a yes as you relaxed your body further into his, finally content. Maybe Rossi was right, having Spencer close really wasnât so bad after all.
#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#criminal minds#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds imagine#criminal minds fluff#spencer reid one shot#fluff#hurt/comfort
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together | s.reid
summary; open and safe communication about sex is important, especially for spencer since all he wants is for you to be comfortable.
warnings; 18+, comfort,(no hurt) and fluff, talks about sex, openly communicating, talks about things being a little too fast, they are sweet and in love, fem reader, established relationships, later season spence and kind of references soft dom spencer
an; remember its sooo important for discussion about sex and boundaries to happen regularly and healithy. you should never feel (or be made to feel) guilty for needing something more or less.
You lie next to Spencer, your limbs tangled beneath the warmth of the blanket, your bodies naturally falling into the closeness of familiarity. His chest rises and falls steadily, and you feel the heat radiating off his skin as you adjust yourself, settling into the curve of his side. Itâs a Saturday night, and youâve spent the evening as you often do, binge-watching a half-finished series you started together months ago. Now, the world outside your bedroom is quiet, the streetlights casting a faint glow through the curtains, and the only sounds are your soft breathing and the occasional rustling of the sheets.
Youâre both still giggling from a silly joke Spencer had made, something about the ridiculous cliffhanger the show left you on. His sense of humor is dry, but it always gets you. Heâs the kind of person who says things in a completely deadpan tone, and sometimes it takes you a second to realize heâs joking.
âGod, youâre such a dork,â you tease, your voice soft as your fingers trace absentminded patterns on his arm.
âAnd yet youâre still here,â he says with a grin, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.
âYeah, well⌠youâre lucky youâre cute.â
Spencer chuckles, his hand brushing a lock of hair behind your ear as he looks down at you. His eyes are warm, filled with that quiet affection youâve grown to rely on, the kind of look that tells you everything without a word. It makes your heart skip a beat, even after all this time.
You sigh, a contented sound, your body fully relaxing into him. âI really do love this, you know.â
âLove what?â
âJust⌠being here with you. Like this. Itâs nice.â
He shifts slightly so that heâs facing you more directly, his eyes meeting yours. âI love it, too,â he says softly. âI love you.â
Thereâs a pause, a comfortable silence that settles between you like a soft blanket. You close your eyes for a moment, letting the weight of his words wash over you. Youâre not sure what prompts it, but your mind drifts to a thought, a question thatâs been hovering at the back of your mind for a while. Itâs not something youâve ever really talked about before, not in depth at least, but you know you can with him. You know Spencer would never make you feel weird or uncomfortable.
âHey, can I ask you something?â you say, your voice quieter now, a little more serious.
âOf course,â Spencer replies without hesitation. His hand rests gently on your arm, a small, reassuring gesture.
âIâve just been thinking about⌠us. Like, physically,â you start, trying to find the right words. Youâre not nervous exactly, but itâs still a vulnerable topic to bring up. âI feel like⌠we donât really talk about it that much, you know? Like, what we like, what we need. I donât know, does that make sense?â
Spencer looks at you, his expression thoughtful but still warm. âYeah, that makes total sense,â he says after a moment. âI guess weâve always just gone with the flow, but⌠itâs important to talk about. I want to make sure youâre happy. That youâre comfortable.â
You feel a rush of relief at his response, but you shouldnât be surprised. Spencer has always been like thisâattentive, caring, never making you feel like youâre asking for too much or that your needs are a burden.
âI am happy,â you say quickly, wanting to reassure him. âI just⌠I guess Iâve been wondering if thereâs anything we could do differently. Or, you know, better.â
Spencer nods, his thumb rubbing soothing circles against your skin. âI get that. I want the same thing. If thereâs anything you need, anything you want more of, just tell me. I want you to feel comfortable being open about that.â
You hesitate for a second, your mind swirling with all the little things youâve thought about but never voiced. You know heâs sincere, and yet thereâs still a tiny part of you that worries about how heâll react. But then you look at him, at the gentle expression on his face, and you know youâre safe.
âWell,â you begin, your voice steady but quiet, âI think sometimes I just⌠need more time. Like, I love when weâre together, but there are moments when I feel like we could slow down a little. I just⌠I like it when things are a bit softer, more gradual, you know?â
Spencer listens intently, nodding as you speak, and when you finish, he doesnât hesitate. âYeah, absolutely. We can do that. I want to make sure youâre enjoying yourself. Iâd never want you to feel rushed.â
The way he says it, so calmly, so easily, makes your chest ache in the best possible way. Thereâs no awkwardness, no discomfort, just a genuine desire to understand and make things better for you.
âAnd itâs not like I donât enjoy it,â you clarify quickly, not wanting him to think youâre unhappy. âI just think sometimes I could use a bit more⌠patience?â
Spencerâs lips curve into a small smile, and he nods again. âI can do patience. I want to do whatever makes you feel good, whatever makes you feel loved.â
You feel a warmth spread through your chest at his words, and you realize how rare it is to have someone who listens like this, who cares so deeply about your experience, about your needs. It makes you love him even more, if thatâs possible.
âThank you,â you say softly, your voice barely more than a whisper.
Spencer leans in, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. âYou donât have to thank me for that,â he murmurs. âThis is a partnership, right? We figure things out together.â
You nod, feeling a surge of emotion well up in your throat. âYeah. Together.â
Thereâs another pause, a moment of quiet understanding between you, and then you feel the urge to ask, âIs there anything you need? Anything you want that we donât really do?â
Spencer looks thoughtful for a second, and you can tell heâs really considering the question. âHonestly? I think just⌠more moments like this. Where we can talk about stuff openly. I donât want you to ever feel like you canât tell me something, whether itâs about sex or anything else.â
You smile, a full, genuine smile, and you shift closer to him, resting your head against his chest. âYouâre really good, you know that?â
He laughs softly, his chest vibrating against you. âI try.â
You stay like that for a while, wrapped in each otherâs warmth, your conversation lingering in the air between you like a promise. You know that things wonât always be perfect, but you also know that with Spencer, you can always talk about it, always find a way to make it better. Thereâs a comfort in that, in knowing that youâre with someone who values your happiness as much as their own.
Eventually, your eyelids grow heavy, and you can feel sleep tugging at you. But before you drift off, you hear Spencerâs voice, soft and steady in the darkness.
âI love you,â he whispers.
And with your last waking breath, you smile,
âI love you too.â
#spencer reid#reidmania#criminal minds#criminal minds show#criminalmindsfans#spencer reid x reader#spencer criminal minds#criminal minds x reader#spencer reid x oc#criminal minds one shot#spencer reid edit#spencer reid angst#spencer reid smut#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid criminal minds#doctor spencer reid#dr spencer reid#dr spencer reid mm#dr spencer reid x you#dr spencer reid x oc#spencer reid x self insert#spencer reid x fem!reader smut#spencer reid x comfort#Spencer reid comfort#spencer reid hurt x comfort#spencer reid hurt/comfort#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x fanfiction
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sweet creature ~ s.r.
âWherever I go, you bring me homeâ
Summary: Spencer calls you when heâs missing home.
Warnings: pregnant!reader x husband!spencer, reader is in her second pregnancy and they already have a 3 y/o daughter, spencer is, again, a huge softie, calls you sweetheart, he's called away on an urgent case and misses you, reader is almost in third trimester, they fall asleep on the phone, cuties, inspired by sweet creature by harry styles, fluff and comfort
Category: Fluff x Comfort
Word count: 1.1k
Author's note: Spencer Reid deserved to get married and have children but he has to be a girl dad and I don't make the rules. I just know he would be the most sweet, caring and loving husband/dad in the world. Anyways I kind of had to do something to this song because I saw it live (Wembley N4 Iâll miss you forever). Enjoy!!
You were exhausted, both emotionally and physically. Being 7 and a half months pregnant and taking care of your 3 year old daughter alone had never been part of the plan. In fact, Spencer was supposed to be working either in office or from home during the later stages of your pregnancy, but a serious case meant that he was needed urgently by the BAU. With only 8 hours notice he was in Florida, and suddenly he was approximately 920.4 miles away from you.
It was around 9pm, and youâd been eagerly awaiting a phone call from your husband. Youâd blame your anxiety on the hormones, but you knew it wasnât just that. Youâd always been like this whenever he was away, and you never quite managed to properly adjust to how much travelling his job required. Lizzie, your daughter, was laid next to you in the bed you and Spencer shared, asleep on his side of the bed. She was the same as you whenever her dad was away, even if she didnât quite understand his job. She was a daddyâs girl, and if sleeping on Spencerâs side of the bed helped her to feel that little bit closer to him when he was away, you would let her. Her curly light brown hair was sprawled across the pillow which she drooled on, unconscious.
Your phone was on silent so the ringer didnât wake her up, but as soon as you felt the persistent buzzing and Spencerâs name appeared on the screen, you stood, stretching slightly before leaving the room and quietly closing the door behind you, simultaneously swiping the button to answer the call.
âHi.â You whispered softly, cautious not to wake up your sleeping three-year-old who was in the next room.
âHi sweetheart. How are you?â Spencerâs sweet voice spoke over the phone.
âHanging on. I managed to settle Lizzie after she cried because you couldnât tuck her in tonight.. Little one has been quiet for now, but I just know that sheâll start getting active as soon as I attempt to sleep.â You spoke with a soft smile on your face at the thought of the little life growing inside of you whilst you tiptoed down the stairs and into the living room, sitting down on the sofa with a hand on your round bump, rubbing it gently.
You heard Spencer sigh over the phone. âI miss you. I saw the three of you this morning and it feels like I havenât seen you in months.â He chuckled. Spencer was alone in his hotel room, and it felt strangely quiet. Unfamiliar. If Spencer was home, youâd be asleep in his arms by now, your soft snores echoing in the darkness of your bedroom. Pregnancy was tiring, after all. But you struggled to sleep without each other, and you knew that. Your house may as well have been cold and empty to you without him there. Your house wasnât your home. Spencer was, and you knew that he felt the same way about you. That was why heâd called.
âAny new symptoms? At around the seven month mark, you should expect to experience some shortness of breath, discomfort which may lead to difficulty moving, frequent urination, lightheadedness caused by the baby putting pressure on your blood vessels which can slow blood flow, fatigue-â He began to reel off pregnancy symptoms until he was cut off by your sleepy laugh.
âSpence, youâve been gone for less than a day. You donât have to worry about me. I feel the same as I did earlier.â You giggled.
âAnd that is?â He questioned. You could picture him furrowing his eyebrows, and the thought of it made your heart warm.
âAchey, tired, like a whale, hungry..â You listed, and you already knew he was going to give you advice on how to deal with your symptoms. Heâd done more than enough research on pregnancy when JJ was first pregnant with Henry, and since then heâd unexpectedly found himself helping a woman give birth on a case.
âYou need to rest. Itâs late and thatâs one of the only things that could help with your symptoms right now apart from physical activity, but I doubt youâd want to do any exercise at the moment,â He instructed, and you knew that he was being serious, even with his light tone. Youâd think that youâd know more about pregnancy than Spencer, with you being mid-way through your second pregnancy, but he knew everything. Whilst anybody else might have been surprised by that, you werenât. Heâd done extensive research on the topic, after all, and he continued to. âAnd I can also guarantee you that you donât look like a whale.â He added, and you could hear his smile in his voice.
âThatâs what you think. I can hardly move, and when I do I waddle. I waddle, Spencer!â You pouted, and you could hear him laugh.
âWell Iâm sure you look beautiful whilst you waddle.â He teased.
After a few quiet conversations between the two of you, 9pm turned to 11:30pm, and you could feel your mind wanting to drift off as your conversations slowly turned into Spencer spouting off random facts whilst you listened, his voice soothing you as though he was there with you. You decided to go back upstairs and tuck yourself into bed whilst he talked, placing your phone on the nightstand. He wasnât really next to you, but it was close enough. You knew Lizzie wouldnât wake up between Spencerâs soft words, the low volume your phone was on and her tendency to be a heavy sleeper. However, Spencer soon realised you were responding to him less and less.
âSweetheart?â He said quietly, and you hummed in response, already drifting off. âDo you want me to hang up?â He asked, and your eyes snapped open. âNo. Uh, I mean, Iâd like it if you could just⌠stay on the line.â You said quietly, and he understood what you meant.
âOf course,â He responded, âGood night. I love you.â He said, and you said it back.
Soon enough, you fell asleep, and if he closed his eyes, he could picture you there next to him, your soft snores echoing around his hotel room. That was all he needed to relax, and Spencer soon found himself drifting off to sleep, feeling like he was at home. Feeling like he was with his home.
You brought him home.
#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid comfort#fluff#comfort#spencer reid#criminal#minds#criminal minds#pregnant!reader#husband!spencer#fem!reader#dr spencer reid#fanfic#fanfiction#harry styles#sweet creature#inspired#i just love soft spencer reid#he calls her sweetheart#they have a daughter#oneshot#spencer reid oneshot#criminal minds oneshot#criminal minds fanfiction#phone#long distance
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đ°đĄđđŤđ đđđđŤ đđđđđŹ | đŹ.đŤđđ˘đ
đŹđŽđŚđŚđđŤđ˛: when you were accommodated in such a shabby hotel, the last thing you needed was a power outage. and upon learning about one of your colleagues' fear of the dark, you can't bring yourself to not help him
đđ¨đ§đđđ§đđŹ/đŠđ¨đđđ§đđ˘đđĽ đđ°: spencer reid x newbaumember!femalereader, spencer is afraid of the dark and the reader comforts him, they comfort each other tbh, elle&morgan my fav duo, glasses reid obvi.
đ°đ¨đŤđđŹ: 4.7k
đ/đ§: these are my official apologies for all the recent stories đŤśđź i wanted it to be so much shorter but i just love writing conversations between characters so that's how it turned out. @mggslover i'm so sorry for not adding spencer falling off the bed but i didn't want to ruin that subtle ending :(( maybe next time
"Please, Iâm begging you, Iâm really begging youâbegging in the name of a god I donât even believe in. Tell me weâve got the wrong address," Morgan said, squeezing his eyes shut the moment you all crossed the threshold of the motel where you'd been assigned to stay while working on the case in another state.
You noticed Elleâs expression falter as well. From the outside, the place hadnât looked that bad. Well, perhaps it only seemed that way because the street it was on was so dark you couldnât make out much of anything. Midnight must have been approaching; the first day of the investigation was officially over.
âWe didnât get it wrong,â Reid declared, stepping inside as the last of you, quickly scanning the interior. âI memorized it perfectly. Besides, there arenât any other accommodations in the area, so this has to be it.â
âDo you remember that one case,â Elle started, âwhere the unsub killed women in hotel rooms and decorated the interiors with their intestines?â
You glanced at her, curiousâor as curious as you could be under the circumstances. Youâd only joined the team fairly recently; this was your third or fourth case at most, and none of them had been quite that⌠gruesome. Of course, you were well aware cases like that happened. It was only a matter of time before one came your way. Unfortunately.
âThis motel totally looks like the kind of place where something like that happens on a daily basis,â Elle continued. âMy advice? Donât look under the beds tonight. Or in the closets, if there even are any.â
âI just hope thereâs hot water,â Derek sighed, his voice carrying a tone of resignation. âWe once ended up in a place that didnât have any. I almost handed in my resignation.â
âYou deal with gruesome murders every day, but no hot water is too much for you, Princess?â you raised an eyebrow, glancing at him out of the corner of your eye as you made your way toward the reception desk to pick up your room keys. The motelâs walls were yellowânot the cheerful sunflower or sunny kind of yellow, but more like dried-up cat pee yellow.
âHeâs got a point, though,â Elle chimed in, taking the key from an elderly woman at the reception desk. âThink about it. You come back after a long, grueling day, from dawn to midnight, just like today. Youâre exhausted, barely standing, and you canât even take a hot shower.â
Morgan pointed at her and nodded in agreement. You shrugged.
âCold isnât that bad,â you muttered. Honestly, you hadnât expected anything luxurious from the place youâd been sent to. It was just a few days, after all.
âOh, are you one of those people practicing that millionaire morning routine?â Derek teased. âYou knowâwaking up at three, cold shower, steak for breakfast, daily planning, self-help bookâŚâ
I just grew up poor, you thought to yourself, but aloud you only let out a short laugh.
âIâd kill to have time to read a book before work. Any book. Not to be yanked out of bed by Hotch at five, like today, and scrambling to get out the door.â
Elle and Morgan exchanged a very brief look, almost secretive. You narrowed your eyes, suspicion suddenly welling up inside you. Before you could ask about it, someone else spoke up.
âHe called me at half past six,â Reid said, tilting his head in mild confusion.
Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed the others silencing him with a look.
âHey, whatâs going on?â you stopped in your tracks, demanding an explanation. âHe called me half an hour earlier than the rest of you?â
âYou live farther away.â
âWeâre practically neighbors, Elle Greenaway.â
âIâm about to drop,â Derek suddenly interjected with theatrical exhaustion. A change of subject. A not-so-subtle change of subject. âIf I donât lie down soon, Iâll fall asleep standing up. See you all tomorrow, folks.â
âYouâre absolutely rightâsleep well.â
With that, he and Elle headed up the stairs to the third floor, where theyâd been assigned rooms. You and, as it turned out, Reid were staying on the second floor.
You turned to him slowly, arms crossed over your chest.
You didnât even need to say anythingâyour stern gaze alone made it clear you were waiting for an explanation. Reid looked like he was about to throw his hands up in a defensive gesture, clearly regretting that heâd brought up the topic at all.
âOkay,â he sighed nervously. âWhat Iâm about to say is not meant to offend you in any way, not even the slightestâŚâ
âOffend?â you repeated, furrowing your brow. âJesus Christ, Reid, donât look at me like thatâIâm not about to punch you in the faceâŚâ
âItâs justâŚâ he began, a little calmer now. âAll of us, including Hotch, I assume, are aware of the fact that, occasionallyâjust sometimesâyou have a slight tendency toâŚrun a bit late to work.â
He looked at you, and a telling silence fell between you.
"Yesterday, you were fourteen and a half minutes late."
"Fifteen minutes doesn't count as being late. And have you heard of a grace period? It's allowed to arrive within that time frame, without any consequences."
"Fine. What about two days ago, twenty-one minutes and seventeen..."
"Metro malfunction. I had no control over that."
"And six days ago, on Tuesday? Twenty-four minutes and..."
"I donât remember such a situation, because, Mr. Big Brain, not all of us have such a memory. But I assume there was a reason..."
"Alright, fine," Reid interrupted you calmly. "Iâm not saying there wasnât a reason. But still... it happens quite often, and that's a fact. So itâs no surprise that Hotch, when the situation especially calls for it, prefers to call you a little earlier than the rest. Just out of caution."
You sighed, no longer able to argue about it. Maybe he was right; you did sometimes lose track of time in the mornings or fail to wake up to the sound of your alarm, closing your eyes for an extra five minutes... which resulted in small delays. You had never been directly reprimanded for it, so you were unaware that it had become such a big issue. Slightly embarrassed, you pressed your lips together.
"As usual, I guess you're right. And by the way, Iâm heading to my room. I had thirty minutes less sleep than all of you, Iâm exhausted," you said in a lighter, joking tone. A brief smile crossed Reidâs face. "Good night, wise guy.â
"Good night. And donât look under the bed."
"Believe me, I wasnât planning on it!"
With those words, you both disappeared into rooms directly opposite each other. The sounds of doors closing synchronized. You started your usual evening routine, placing your suitcase in the corner of the room. It was really small, narrow, and rectangular. The walls had that same awful color, the light was too bright, causing a headache. So you decided to just turn on the night lamp on the shabby nightstand next to the single bed.
It turned out that the only bathroom was in the hallway. You almost cried; you didn't want to take all your things with you and then come back with them. You remembered that you'd taken a proper shower that morning, so maybe a repeat wasnât absolutely necessary. You were too sleepy for it, so you just set the alarm for fifteen minutes earlier to do it in the morning. After changing into comfortable clothes, you immediately lay down on the bed. Following Elleâs advice, and then Reidâs too, you didnât check what might be hiding under it.
You werenât hiding it, you were a terrible sleeper. Falling asleep in new places usually wasnât a problem for you, even if it was a place that looked like a dive where someone could stab you in your sleep. But that night, something was bothering you. After giving it some thought, you realized it was Reidâs words.
Of course, it wasnât that you held it against him. He was just stating facts; he had no intention of offending you, as he assured. And you didnât even feel offended. More like unpleasantly confronted with a certain fact. You had only been part of the BAU for a short time. Well, just a week ago Derek stopped calling you the new girl. Although on the outside, you came across as very confident, on the inside, you were preoccupied with the teamâs opinion of you and what they might think about you. Mainly because they were all older and more experienced.
You were especially worried about the fact that your tardiness and chaos had drawn the bossâs attention. Being on good terms with your superior was incredibly important, in case something ever happened, in case you made a more serious mistakeâŚthose small things could influence how the rest of your career would unfold, and the decisions made about you.
But above all, you wanted everyone to like you. Simply like you. So you wouldnât walk around every day with your heart in your throat, praying for the day to end, constantly overwhelmed by a sense of misfit and loneliness.
You turned to your side, not sure how long you had been lying there, thinking. Suddenly, you realized you had to pee.
With great reluctance and sleepiness, you reached for the bedside lamp to turn it on and go to the bathroom. However, when you tugged at the cord, it... didnât turn on. The room remained shrouded in darkness. You tried once more, then blindly made your way to the light switch in the room. You pressed it, and nothing.
What was going on, a power outage?
You shook your head in confusion. Whatever was going on, it didnât change the fact that you had to go to the bathroom. You remembered the flashlight in your jacket pocket, and in the darkness, it took you a while to find it. When you finally had it in your hand, you felt ready to complete the mission. To pee, that is.
The moment you stepped out into the hallway, a light source flared up right before your eyes. You let out a muffled exclamation, partly from surprise, partly from being almost blinded.
âDamn, sorryâŚâ Reid hissed, equally confused, turning his flashlight downward, away from your face.
You rubbed your eyelids, turning off your flashlight. Two light sources were unnecessary.
âIs there no power for you too?â you asked.
Reid nodded. It was only then that you really looked at himâhe was wearing very loose pajama pants and...
âCute,â you clicked your tongue, pointing at his white sweater with a bear wearing glasses. He had them too, worn very low on his nose. He must have put them on absentmindedly, in the dark, right after getting out of bed.
âI got it from Penelope for my birthday,â he said in a tone as if he were giving a statement. His hand briefly touched the fabric, right at the center of the brown bearâs face. âItâs really comfortable and soft. Perfect for sleeping...Anyway, I was heading to the reception to find out what the issue is and whether anything can be done about it. You too?â
"No, I just really need to pee. Do you really want to go there at this hour?" you asked, raising an eyebrow in surprise. "I mean, outages happen, and they'll have to fix it, but it's the middle of the night. We don't really need the lights right now, and if you want to go to the bathroom, you have a flashlight, as I can see."
You kept your gaze on him, realizing that since he noticed the lack of light, he must have been either heading somewhere himself or keeping the light on. Or maybe he had been sleeping with the light on. He did seem a bit tense. One of his hands was still resting on the half-open door, nervously gripping it. The other was pressed tightly to his body, his chest rising in an odd rhythm. Not a quickened pace, like with a panic attack, but more unnatural, like he was trying to control it.
"Are you afraid of the dark?" the question slipped out of you directly. After a moment, you realized it might have been a little too blunt. You had asked it carelessly, suspecting there might be another reason behind his behavior. For some reason, fear of the dark didnât seem to fit his rational character.
Reid quickly shook his head, firmly denying it.
"No. No, of course not. I was just... reading when the light went out."
Oh, you didnât even need to be a profiler to see right away that he was lying. You crossed your arms, a little amused by how stubbornly he was denying it.
"You were reading? At this hour? When weâre back to the investigation first thing tomorrow morning?"
He shrugged, shaking his head again.
"I couldnât sleep."
You sighed. In the end, neither his fear nor his shame were your concern, so you didnât see the point in interrogating him any further. You signaled that you were dropping the subject, and some expression passed across his face. Gratitude. Gratitude for not pushing the issue or mocking him. You felt a bit offended that he had even thought you might do that.
âIf you still plan on going to the reception, wait for me, Iâll go with you. I just need to quickly stop by the bathroom.â
Reid opened his mouth, clearly surprised by your suggestion.
âWell, what?â you replied with a shrug. âI canât let something eat you on the way. A demonic hand emerging from the darknessâŚâ
âVery funny,â he commented, rolling his eyes. However, the corner of his mouth twitched, and his breathing seemed calmer.
ââŚThe ghost of Richard Ramirez haunting the walls of this hotel. Or some other bloodthirsty maniac.â
"Didn't you really have to pee badly?"
"The team wouldnât recover from losing you, Reid!" You threw that line over your shoulder as you walked toward the bathroom.
Of course, there was no light there either, so you had to use your flashlight. He was waiting for you, and together, in silence, you headed down the stairs toward the reception. Given how small the motel was, it wasnât open 24/7. You had to wait a while before someone came to assist you.
âThat happens sometimes,â the employee shrugged. âWeâre not sure where the problem is exactly, but someoneâs supposed to come check it out tomorrowâŚâ
âCanât anything be done about it now?â Reid asked, a trace of frustration in his voice that he was trying to maskâespecially when he glanced at you from the corner of his eye. âMaybe itâs just a simple overload? Where are the fuse boxesâŚ?â
âReid,â you said gently, placing a hand on his elbow to draw his full attention. He turned his head toward you, surprised by the tone of your voice. You gave the employee a discreet signal that you didnât have any further questions and he could leave.
âYouâre not fixing the electricity in some rundown motel. That would just be⌠ridiculous.â
âIâm not talking about fixing it,â he clarified quickly, though it was clear he hadnât let go of the idea. âBut in most cases, itâs just a simple short circuit. I could just take a lookââ
ââOr you could just sleep in my room.â
The words left your mouth, surprising not only him but also yourself. Yet, it wasnât as though you regretted them or wanted to take back the offer. On the contrary, the moment you said it out loud, it felt even more fitting. When you were a little kidâlike most children, probablyâyouâd also been afraid of the dark, and running to someone elseâs room always helped. Curling up beside someone, just knowing someone was there, made all the difference.
You watched his reaction, the way he shook his head slightly from side to side, a small frown creasing his forehead.
âYouâre joking, right?â
âNot at all. Come on.â You grabbed him by the wristâthe hand not holding the flashlightâand pulled him along. He moved hesitantly, but he seemed too caught off guard to plant his feet and stay put.
He stopped only when you reached the door to your room, pulling his hand free from your grasp.
"How do you even imagine this working? There's... there's only one bed in there."
"If that bothers you, grab the mattress and some bedding from your room. Youâll hardly notice the differenceâthose beds are unbearably uncomfortable anyway."
He lowered the flashlight slightly, letting the surrounding darkness of the hallway creep over his face. It was barely visible now, but the hesitation etched on it was unmistakable. Standing across from him, you held his gaze without saying a word, silently reinforcing the fact that you werenât joking.
The thought of him struggling to fall asleep for the rest of the night and then suffering through another day made you feel genuinely sorry for him. Besides, even though you hadnât known each other long, you already considered him a sort of friend. If there was anything you could do to help, you wanted to do it.
"It's no big deal, Spencer," you reassured him one last time, hoping the words would finally sink in. "Really. And if you want... we don't ever have to talk about this again. Tomorrow, or ever."
His chest rose as he drew in a deep breath.
"Th-thank you," he said at last, cautiously, as though he'd packed so many thoughts into the single word that saying it out loud was an effort.
You smiled gently and understandingly. Before stepping into the room, you briefly placed a hand on his arm.
"Oh God, that sweater really is soft..."
He let out a short laugh, perhaps releasing a bit of the embarrassment heâd been holding back. You both disappeared into your respective rooms, and you lay down in bed, waiting for him to show up. Well, the moment dragged on a little too long.
You were almost certain heâd only agreed to your suggestion to get you off his back and had no intention of actually following through. Propping yourself up on one elbow, you debated whether to go to his room and drag him over or just let it go. They say you shouldnât force help on others. Maybe there was some truth to that.
Shortly after that thought, your door creaked open slowly. You heard it but couldnât see muchâthe room was too dark, and he wasnât using his flashlight. Perhaps he assumed you were already asleep and didnât want to risk waking you.
Either way, he moved around your bed to lay down a pillow and blanket on the floor, skipping the effort of hauling over an entire mattress.Â
"Your back is going to hurt," you remarked softly, your voice adjusting to the rhythm of the night, blending with the surrounding darkness.
You lay on your side, facing the spot where he had set up his makeshift bed. All you could see was the outline of his figure, his hands clasped loosely over his stomach, head resting on the pillow. You even caught the slight shrug of his shoulders in response to your comment.
"Actually, sleeping on the floor can have health benefits. It helps maintain a neutral spine position," he replied.
âSeriously?â you scoffed. âDo you really have to come up with a counterargument for everything I say?â
âSuch a curse of mine. If you donât like it, well, you invited me here.â
âAnnoying bastard. I guess itâs too late to kick you out?â you wondered aloud, of course, rhetorically. But you quickly added, worried that he might take it seriously, âSleep well. You and your spine.â
An amused sigh escaped him.
 âYou⌠and your spine too.â
Well, you guessed that's enough of the chit-chat. You felt a bit disappointed, but you had brought him here for a reason. To let him sleep, not to entertain you with conversation. To your surprise, you didnât feel sleepy, even though you had struggled with it earlier. You had been thinking about... hard to even pinpoint what, there were a few things. The little worries typical of the night, suddenly growing to some huge proportions.
You were still lying in the same position, some time had passed. Your cheek was almost touching the edge of the bed, on the same side where Reid slept. Well, actually, he wasnât sleeping. You could see a faint, barely noticeable gleam of his open eyes. They were cast downward, trying not to stare into the empty blackness above his head.
âHave you always been afraid of the dark?â you decided to ask, with no sarcasm.
âIâm not afraid,â he replied, though he could always pretend to be asleep. But the answer came out automatically.
âAlright, brave guy.â You didnât even scoff, you just said it calmly and accepting. Maybe later heâll tell you, when he stops being so embarrassed about it. âSo, I guess you came here to get to know me better. And you know, I think youâve got the chance. Could you... could you tell me something? Just honestly?â
"Me?" he asked, surprised, even sitting up slightly. "I mean... sure. But what?"
You suddenly sighed, regretting even bringing up the topic. God, that was so stupid...
"Just remember, honestly. Do you think the rest of the team likes me?"
Reid was silent, a strange feeling gathered in your stomach. Instead of answering negatively, he propped himself up on both elbows, and you saw a slight movement of his head. A nod.
"Are you asking this completely seriously?"
You shrugged, not sure if he noticed, so you confirmed out loud in a slightly hoarse voice. And then, to your absolute surprise, he just laughed.
"I donât get it," he confessed after a short moment during which you stared in silence at his silhouette. "How... how could you think it could be any different? Youâre always joking with Derek and Elle, and... we get along well too, I hope..."
"Youâre right. But... but thatâs not what I meant, I just... ugh, seriously, I canât explain it. Fine, you know what, never mind."
You turned onto your back, as if that would completely sever the conversation. The one youâd stupidly started. You hoped he wouldnât mention it to anyone. Another stupid thought, after all, he wasnât like that.
Silence again, broken only by breaths. A new sound joined them, a slight rustle of the sheets. When Reid spoke again, his voice sounded somehow higher, and you were sure he was sitting on the floor as he said it.
"It might be a little surprising, but when I was a kid, I wasn't afraid of the dark," he began, completely changing the tone of his voice. He wasn't surprised like before; it was lower, gentler, despite the topic he was addressing. "I mean, I wasn't afraid of it more than any other kid my age. That... that serious fear, the real fear, started later. I don't want to say it was when I started working for the BAU because that wouldn't be entirely true. But it was around the time I started taking everything seriously. Seeing it with my own eyes, every day."
You didn't even realize when you had turned back onto your side, just to look at him, listening to his words.
"Do you have nightmares?" you asked.
"Sometimes. Actually..." he sighed, swallowing. "All of it, the fear and the nightmares, it's like they don't exist when I'm in a place I know. A place I trust. I can sleep just fine with the lights off in my apartment, the same in a jet. Everything starts in places like this. â
There was silence from your side, and you felt a bit⌠touched that he decided to tell you this. No beating around the bush, no lying, and, most importantly, no overwhelming embarrassment. It was a normal topic after all; everyone has their fears.
"And you?"
"What about me?"
"Do you have nightmares?"
In the first few days after starting the job, you did. Then they stopped. Thatâs just how things go, you suppose.
"Not anymore," you admitted, letting out a small laugh. "But that doesnât mean I sleep well. Now I just worry at night."
"About whether the team likes you?"
"Okay, I know it sounds childish, but itâs really been bothering me lately. They might⌠they might seem to like me, but deep down, they might not think that highly of me. I⌠I'm new, not that experienced, Iâm always late, and I donât think Iâm bringing anything new to the table..."
"Of course, youâre bringing something," he interrupted you. You hadnât noticed when, but you were both sitting up now. Your voices werenât sleepy whispers anymore, you were having a real conversation. "Each of us brings something different, something characteristic of ourselves. That's how it works in a team. Thatâs why youâre here. Without you⌠okay, you might not know this, but since youâve been here, these last four cases have gone much more smoothly."
"Do you really think so?"Â
"Well, you asked me to be honest. Completely honest."
You've always had a bit of imposter syndrome, doubting your abilities, and approaching others' positive comments about you or your achievements with skepticism.Â
Something in the way he spoke, his quick words, his engagement in them... made you believe him, somehow.
"Reid," you began, surprised to find that there was less weight in your chest, in your body. "I know, I just know, that you'll refuse, but still, I'll ask. Do you want to lie down with me?"
You didn't even know what exactly prompted the question. Caring about your back, you could answer. But was that really all it was?
For a moment, he was silent, thinking you were joking, but when it dawned on him that you weren't, he scoffed.
"Well, you were right, I'll refuse..."
"Sorry, but I doubt you'll fall asleep any other way. I was watching you, as creepy as that sounds. You were lying there with your eyes open, you were scared."
"I'm an adult man who's afraid of the dark. That's pathetic on its own, without being tucked to sleep by a coworker."
"I never mentioned anything about tucking you in."
He hesitated, embarrassed.Â
"You took the least important part of my statement..."
"I took what I wanted. The rest is nonsense. Your age doesn't determine what you can or can't be afraid of. I'm a grown woman, and I'm afraid my colleagues don't like me. Which sounds more pathetic, huh? Fear of the dark or that?"
âI think itâs a point we could argue about for hours.â
âWhich we donât have. Itâs late, we should go to sleep. Quick question, are you lying down with me, or are you fooling yourself into thinking youâll fall asleep without it?â
A heavy, resigned sigh escaped him. Without adding anything else to his words, you turned onto your side, your back to him. You heard the rustling of the sheets, and for a moment, you froze, surprised. But no, he hadnât joined you.Â
You werenât sure how you felt. Disappointed seemed like too strong a word. It wasnât as though he had refused some incredibly important request of yours. It was just⌠perhaps the best explanation would be that, once you had convinced him to sleep in the same room for the sake of helping him, you wanted him to take something comforting from that night. You wanted it to be one of those good nights, like the ones he had in his apartment or in the jet, the ones he had mentioned. Not one of the others, filled with fear.
But then, the mattress beside you dipped, as someone else settled onto it.
You turned to the other side, and suddenly your faces were right across from each other. Reid swallowed, almost nervously. He seemed to be adjusting to the situation, to the sudden closeness, the small space you shared. You propped your hand under your head, observing him discreetly. It hit you that he always had a bit of an issue with contact with others. A doubt crossed your mind: had you made him uncomfortable?
Minutes passed, though, and his body seemed to sink more comfortably into the bed. His arms were no longer stiff, his hands resting freely, no longer clasped tightly across his chest. You could also hear his breath, and the more peaceful it became, the calmer you felt too.
And even though no words seemed necessary anymore, he decided to speak once again.
"Thank you."
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close to home | s.r
pairing: spencer reid x reader
a/n: this has been rotting in my brain for days now i hope you enjoy the angsty comfort this brought me <3 my requests are open (guidelines in pinned!) or if you wanna just chat hop in my ask box :) gonna hopefully work on a smut fic in the next week so keep an eye out hehe
cw: angst, hurt/comfort, protective!spencer, afab!reader who uses she/her pronouns, non bau!reader, cm type violence, reader sustains injuries from unsub, vague description of injuries, maeve mentions, derek being a good friend, spencer being so in love with reader, this takes place probably a year after maeve, inconsistencies with tls and characters but who cares
wc: 2.4k
summary: the bau is working a local case when their unsub strikes again mid investigation, hotch tells reid and morgan to go check it out but spencer finds the address of the crime to be a little too familar
_______________________________________________
Whenever the BAU has a case based in the D.C. area, itâs always a little easier on the team. Familiar stomping grounds, ease of resources, no major time difference, and everyone can sleep in their own beds. The hard part about home cases is knowing thereâs a serial killer in the place they know deeply, with people they cared about deeply.
Spencer and Callahan are in the middle of the bullpen staring at the giant white board with all the evidence they have so far. The unsub has been killing women in their mid 20s in the local dc area, with the mo currently unknown. there had already been two victims, both killed in their homes. Spencer was currently trying to analyze all the information the case had alongside with what Garcia was able to provide, and he was still hitting a dead end. Morgan had joined them at some point too, trying to offer what he could remember from the crime scenes but to no avail. He felt his eyes straining and dropping so he decided to get more coffee, but was stopped by Hotch and Garcia entering the bullpen.
âPolice just got a 911 call about a break in, but thereâs a witness this time. She was home when it happened and it looks like he didnât expect that and tried to knock her out before escaping. I think it sounds like our unsub. Morgan and Reid, I need you to go check out the scene and interview the witness, see what she remembers.â Hotch explained.
Morgan and Reid nodded as Garcia spoke up, âI just sent the address to your phones, itâs a house on Hillcrest so it's not that far from here.â
Spencer froze. he had to have heard wrong, she did not say Hillcrest, âDid you say Hillcrest?â
âYeah, Hillcrest Drive. Itâs like, a 15 minute drive, not that far.â
He felt his heart drop to his feet, a sinking feeling building in his gut. That was the street you lived on. He tried to ground himself with logic, the probability of it being your house is only 10%, but he was dreading asking the fated question.
âGarcia, whatâs the house number?â
âReid, I already sent it to your pho-â
âGarcia, what is the house number,â he spoke again.Â
Please donât say 1159. Please donât say 1159. Please donât say-
â1159.â
Fuck. The color drained from his face, and the nausea was building to a head quickly. Spencer hurriedly tried to think through the last time he spoke to you. Last night? This morning? He doesnât check on you as much as he does when heâs not on a case, but oh my god why canât he remember the last time he saw you.
âReid,â Hotch bellows, finally breaking spencer out of his trance, âWhat is it? What do you know?â
He shook his head, âNothing. Morgan, letâs go.â he grabbed his jacket and booked it out the door.
Morgan, Garcia, and Hotch all looked at each other in concern, before Morgan spoke up, âIâll see whatâs up.â The latter two nodded softly, though the worry didnât let up in their eyes.
Morgan walked up to the car to find Spencer repeatedly trying to call someone on the phone, clearly unable to get through and getting really frustrated.
Spencer was alerted by Morganâs presence hearing the car unlock but he didnât even look at him, just immediately got in the car and strapped his seat belt. Morgan joined him in the drivers seat giving him a wary look before turning the car on and pulling out of the bureau.
âOkay Reid, spill it. Itâs obvious you know who lives here.â Morgan speaks up.
âJust drive, please.â
âBecause if you know something, something that could help the case, it would be helpful if we knew.â
âMorgan, just drive.â he borderline yells.
He raises his eyebrows at his raised voice, âListen kid, iâm just trying to help you. I can see youâre upset but weâre on the same side, you know that.â
Spencer takes a shaky breath, feeling another shade of guilt at yelling at one of his friends, for something he didnât even know about. Heâd kept you a secret for many reasonsâ your relationship with him was still new, and he just wanted to keep you to himself for a bit. After what happened with Maeve, he felt especially more responsible at keeping you safe and making sure you didnât get tangled up in his line of work.
Some job he did of that.
The one thing he regrets about how he handled the Maeve situation, was not asking for help until it was almost too late. For not doing anything about her stalker when he was part of one of the most famous fbi teams built to find people like that. Heâd always live with that guilt, but he vowed not to do that with you.
He loved you so much. You were so kind, and smart, and beautiful. A breath of fresh air after feeling lost in a dark tunnel for so long. You were so understanding when he explained what he did for a living, and what had happened to him and people he cared about as a result. He still remembers what you said to him when he told you that you could have an out, if you wanted.
âAny risk is worth taking if getting to be with you is the consolation prize.â
Tears welled up in eyes thinking about the memory. If you were willing to take any risk, then he should be able to as well.
He cleared his throat, and Morganâs ears perked up, âMy uh, my girlfriend lives there. Where the unsub, at- attacked.â he voiced softly.
Morgan looked at him for a beat while driving, Spencer missing the way his face dropped. He tightened his hands on the wheels, and without hesitation he turned the lights and siren on and shifted gears to speed up.
__
The car pulled onto your street and the first thing Spencer sees is the flashing light of the ambulances. Morgan doesnât even put the car in park before Spencerâs bolting out hoping he can find you quickly.
Heâs asking all the paramedics heâs passing if theyâve seen you or know if youâre being treated, were you transferred to a hospital and he didnât know. The tunnel vision slowly overtaking him until he hears a voice breaking through like sunlight call out his name.
He whips his head in the direction he heard it come from, and heâs never been more grateful to be met with the beautiful sight of you. You watch his eyes widen and let out a sigh before running over to where you were sitting in the back of the ambulance. Heâs definitely not thinking when he goes in to hug you, not even knowing the extent of your injuries. Heâs overtaken by the desperate need to hold you in his arms so he knows youâre safe and okay.
âHi,â you choke out muffled, âFunny seeing you here.â
He pulls back to inspect your face, taking note of a small cut above your left eyebrow and the beginning splotches of a bruise forming on your lower jaw. His heart aches so much looking at you, knowing what happened to you and who did this to you.
âHi, honey,â he lets out tearfully, âAre you okay? I mean, of course youâre not. But what did the paramedics say? Did they give you anything? Are you sure they checked all your injuries? You know what, let me go call the guy over. Iâll be two seconds.â his panicked ramble fading off as he rounds the truck youâre sat in to find the emt.
Upon his extensive questioning of the man who treated you, he found out that you had sustained a minor concussion from when the unsub swung at you with an umbrella, superficial cuts caused by a broken vase you threw to defend yourself, and a dislocated shoulder from getting shoved into the wall.
You were okay, but at what cost.
The EMT leaves you two and Spencer sits himself next to you on the rig. He wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you as tight as he can and the other hand cradles your head into the crook of his neck, holding you so tight heâs hoping he can squeeze the bad memories out of you. Itâs at this moment of feeling safe and sound in his arms when the adrenaline of your attack wears off.
Spencer hears a small whimper and feels a few hot tears trickle down his neck, your breathing gets faster as youâre attempting to beat your bodyâs fear response. The slow build up of sobs starting to rack your chest, and he immediately holds you tighter.
âItâs over, baby, they wonât hurt you anymore. I promise.â
You sniffle, âI know, I just canât believe this happened. To me. To us. Itâs not fair to you.â trailing off the last two words.
âTo me? Wh- what do you mean?â
You take a deep breath, âI donât mean to bring it up again, I just know how eerily similar this is to a past experience youâve had. and I hoped that I wouldnât be in a position to make you feel that way again. I donât know why this happened, I'm sorry.â
He looked down at you incredulously, genuinely unable to believe that you were sitting next to him on an ambulance, beaten up with bruises and scars after a home invasion attack, worried about how he would feel when he got to you. It was enough to finally let the swell of tears saved up in his eyes fall.
âOh sweetheart,â he chokes out, realizing youâve been trying to be brave for him this whole time, âWhat happened is not your fault, do you understand me? My job is to always worry about you and your safety. When Garcia said the address IâŚI couldnât even process it, I donât even know how I got to the car,â he shook his head, âBut I am the last person you need to push your emotions down for. I will always take them in stride and love you even more for that, okay?â
âOkay,â you take a shaky breath, âI love you.â
âI love you.â he leans down to press a kiss to the crown of your head.
Both of your heads look up at an approaching figure, who you quickly recognize to be SSA Derek Morgan. You knew Spencer hadnât told the team about you yet, so you tried to sit up independently as fast as you could before he came over and suspected something.
Spencerâs grip didnât let up when he bent down and whispered, âItâs okay, he knows.â You look up at him with wide eyes when derek finally reaches you.
âReid, I already talked to the detectives and weâre good to go when youâre ready,â he turns his body to you and gives you a comforting smile, âHi sweetheart, Iâm Derek Morgan, itâs nice to meet you.â
Spencer rolls his eyes at the nickname while you giggle softly, âHi Derek, Iâve heard so much about you. It's nice to finally meet you too.â
âI wish it were under better circumstances,â he sighs, âListen, I know itâs all still really fresh for you, but it might help the case if youâre able to come in for a cognitive interview, or even talk to a sketch artist.â
Spencer doesnât miss a beat before protesting, âAbsolutely not. We can do it later, itâs fine.â
âReid-â
You look up at him placing your hand on his chest, âSpence, Itâs okay. I want to help, please.â
He rests his hand on top yours and gives it a light squeeze, âOkay, but iâm not leaving you alone for a second.â
âI didnât think you would.â you smile.
âAlright lovebirds, you can have your private time later, we should go now.â Derek teases.
Spencer groans, âSee, this is why i didnât say anything.â
âYou think Iâm bad? Wait till Penelope meets her.â
__
The three of you pile into the car before starting the drive to Spencerâs apartment so he could get you a change of clothes and other things you might need. You end up falling asleep in the back seat, the final stage of your shock sinking in like a rock. Spencer checks on you from the rear view mirror and sees you passed out, and smiles.
âSheâs cute,â Derek starts, âCan I ask how long?â
âNine months.â he replies, fishing for something out of his pocket.
âPretty boy hid a girl from all of us for nine months? Maybe weâre not as good profilers as we thought.â
âImagine that,â he laughs, and gestures to the item in his hand, âLook.â
Spencerâs holding out a well loved photo booth strip with three pictures, of you and Spencer from the time you went to a local county fair. Youâre sitting in his lap, mostly due to the cramped space and the expansive limbs. The first picture is the two of you holding up finger guns attempting to be as back to back as you can. The second picture, you intended it to be a normal one where you both smile at the camera, but spencer couldnât take his eyes off you and the picture captured the love struck gaze he had on you. The last one you were about to tell him the idea for it, when he grabbed your face and pulled you closer to kiss you, neither of you knowing when the final picture snapped.
The edges were worn out and frayed, clearly broken down by the oils on his fingers from pulling it out frequently. It was his most treasured item, a constant reminder of what was always waiting for him when he got back from grueling cases, and how lucky he was to have you in his life.
âYou look really happy, kid.â Derek says, thinking about the many times heâs seen his friend at rock bottom, the things that have been so brutally taken from him, and the suffering heâs had at the hands of his job. His heart warms for his friend, who seemed to finally catch a break.
âI am.â
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Out of Sunshine
Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader
Summary: Having forgotten your dinner date, Spencer comforts his usually sunshine girlfriend Trope:Fluff & Comfort w.c: 1.2k a/n: been very overwhelmed with responsibilities and wants lately that I just needed to write a self-indulgent fic. Comments and reblogs are highly appreciated! đ masterlist
Spencerâs knock on your apartment door was met with silence. It was a starry Friday night and he had arranged a dinner reservation with you, his girlfriend for a year and a half, to the newly opened French restaurant along the main street. With a certain spring in his step, he settled with Hotch, and by extension the team, that he couldnât be disturbed unless an emergency case comes inâsomething he silently wished not to happen. He had also picked up a bouquet of your favorites from the local florist. An array of whites that reminded him of the dress he first saw you wearing at the park.
He knocked again, ears straining to hear anything behind the dark wooden door. There was nothing. He balanced the bouquet on one hand and reached for the phone inside his satchel. It was quite unlike you to not answer the door.
The number you dialed is either unattendedâ
âStrange,â he muttered under his breath. During his morning phone call with you, a much needed routine to tide him through the macabre of his job, you sounded so excited about the dinner heâd planned and had even promised to wear the same white dress that had plagued his eidetic memory. He chuckled in reply before asking any plans for the day. There was a slight pause on your end, no doubt thinking of ways to pass time before night winds down, and you answerâ
The studio, he remembered. You mentioned passing by your art studio to occupy time. He sighed in relief as he enters his vintage blue car parked on the the sidewalk, bouquet placed securely on the passenger seat. The clock on the dashboard tells him thereâs still time to make it to the reservation, granted he wasnât sure if you were ready to go.
A non-descriptive tune played from the radio as he turned left to enter the designated parking space of your studio building. It was a mixture of soft piano keys that sounded like spring and sunshine, both adjectives he loved to use to describe you.
When he finally found the courage to fumble his way in asking for your number, the smile that flashed on your face was blinding. It was as if he stared directly into the sun with little to no protection for his vision.
Over the course of multiple dates, he found himself waxing prose about you in his head. The pinking of your cheeks reminded him of strawberries ripening, so tempting to touch with his own pair of lips. The twinkle in your eyes, full of adoration and trust, made him feel strong and protectiveâlike he was some kind of crow guarding his loot of sparkling treasure. And the bounce in your step wherever youâd go had him envisioning a sprig of wildflowers growing from each footprint, the nymph of his very own Spring.
He let himself in the studio, grateful youâve trusted him with a spare key. âSunshine,â he called out.
The light inside the four cornered room was on, windows all open for the paint fumes to escape, and there you were, hunched over an easel, furiously painting without any care of your surroundings.
He called your name, softer this time, as if to slowly ease you out of the artistic trance. The timber of his voice and his sudden presence led you to squeak in surprise, paintbrush dropping on the wooden streaked floor.
âItâs me, sunshine,â he raised his hands in front of him in surrender. âItâs me.â
Your nose scrunched up in question, a streak of blue dried paint on your cheek, adorable. How adorable you were in his eyes.
âWhat are you doing here?â you bent down to grab the brush before resuming your old position.
âItâs 7:50, love.â
You swiveled to face him, eyes wide in distress. Hands promptly reaching to turn over the faced down phone. âNo, noâoh my god, I am so sorry!â
âItâs alright,â he tries to placate you but his words of comfort seem to fall on deaf ears. âReally, itâs alright. It happens to everyone.â
Tears were starting to build up in your eyes. Your hands were wrangling with the apron tied around your waist as you mutter a series of apologies again and again. âIâm sorry. So sorryâwe canât make it to our reservation now, canât we? Spence, Iâm so so sorry. IâI forgot,â a sob escaped from your throat. âI donât know what to do.â
He puts down the flowers on the nearest available space, your stool, and steps into your space. Filling it with his perfume and warmth meant to comfort you. He could see how distressed you wereârocking on your heels, hands unable to stay put, and lower lip sandwiched in between your pearly teeth.
âBreathe. Itâs completely fine, love. No harm done. Really, itâs alright.â
The tears come rushing down, staining your flushed cheeks with its tracks. âItâs notâhow could I forget?â
âSunshine, itâs okay. It happens to all of us and I know youâre quite busy, itâs understandable.â
You burrow into his chest some more, afraid of separating from him and the haven he brings.
He continued on. âI also know youâre overwhelmed, the exhibit is just around the corner and I know how important it is to you, I understand.â
Laying your cheek near his beating heart, you mutter a reply. âItâs really notâI donât want you to think youâre not important to me too.â
His hands cupped your face to stare into your saddened eyes. Spencer couldnât see the warmth and brightness that was always present in his sunshine. There was a cloud of rain and doubt covering itsâ greatness. He understood no one could always be happy all the time but it bothered him to see you breaking down from stress.
âShouldnât I be the one worried about that?â he lightly joked. âIâve cancelled on dates so many times and did those ever make you feel less important to me?â
âNo. Never,â you sniffled.
âThen what makes you say Iâd think that, sunshine? I would never, I promise.â
The corners of your lips lifted up to a small smile. There it was, the rays of sun peeking behind the clouds, bringing warmth back to the dark crevices of his being.
âIâm sorry about your shirt,â your lower lip jutting out in a pout. The air of anxiety slowly dissipating around you.
Spencer laughed, noting the tear stained marks littered on his purple button down. âThatâs alright. Why donât we order from your favorite Indian place down the block? We can get your favorites and have our dinner date here instead?â
âYouâd be okay with that?â
He leaned in to kiss your temples, taking in the twinkle back in your eyes framed by your wet long lashes and the flush on your cheeks from emotionâgood and bad.
For Spencer, you had never looked more beautiful. The reason behind of your breakdown was raw, intimate, and it made him see you in a new light. Heat bloomed in his chest, like a series of red roses, filled with love for you.
âAnywhere with you is good for me, sunshine.â
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