#specter-thin
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cherub014 · 1 month ago
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luke triton on the memo pad ^^
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more memo pad doodles
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asuiru · 1 year ago
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cw-s-4 skadeknights 9-op
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thewriteadviceforwriters · 4 months ago
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100 Vocabulary Words for Gothic Fiction | For Writers
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Hello Writers! I've put together a list of 100 words to help you expand your vocabulary for writing gothic fiction in October. I categorized the words for easy reference. I did some research using thesauruses and dictionaries to compile this list for you. I hope you find it helpful! 👻🎃
Atmospheric Words
Tenebrous - dark and gloomy
Oppressive - overwhelming and unpleasantly powerful
Ominous - suggesting evil or harm is imminent
Eerie - strange and frightening
Uncanny - mysterious and unsettling
Nefarious - wicked or criminal
Malevolent - having evil intentions
Sinister - giving the impression of evil
Melancholy - deep sadness
Lugubrious - mournful or dismal
Sombre - dark and gloomy
Dreary - dull and depressing
Desolate - empty and lonely
Bleak - cold and depressing
Dank - unpleasantly damp and cold
Character Descriptions
Pallid - abnormally pale
Gaunt - thin and bony
Haggard - looking exhausted and unwell
Cadaverous - corpse-like
Wan - pale and sickly
Spectral - ghost-like
Enigmatic - mysterious and difficult to understand
Brooding - appearing darkly thoughtful
Tortured - suffering mentally or physically
Macabre - disturbing due to focus on death or injury
Architectural Features
Gothic - relating to medieval style architecture
Dilapidated - in a state of disrepair
Decrepit - worn out or ruined due to age
Crumbling - breaking into small fragments
Decaying - rotting or decomposing
Ramshackle - in a state of severe disrepair
Crypt - underground room or vault
Turret - small tower on a building
Parapet - low protective wall along the edge of a roof
Buttress - structure built against a wall for support
Supernatural Elements
Apparition - ghost or spirit
Phantasm - figment of the imagination
Specter - ghost or phantom
Wraith - ghost or spirit
Revenant - person who returns as a spirit after death
Ethereal - extremely delicate and light
Otherworldly - belonging to an imaginary or spiritual world
Paranormal - beyond normal explanation
Preternatural - beyond what is normal in nature
Occult - supernatural or magical
Emotions and States of Mind
Dread - great fear or apprehension
Foreboding - fearful apprehension
Trepidation - fear or anxiety about something that may happen
Anguish - severe mental or physical pain
Despair - complete loss of hope
Melancholia - deep and long-lasting sadness
Hysteria - exaggerated or uncontrollable emotion
Delirium - state of confusion and hallucination
Madness - state of severe mental illness
Obsession - persistent disturbing preoccupation with an idea or feeling
Gothic Settings
Moor - area of open, uncultivated upland
Wasteland - barren or desolate area
Labyrinth - complex maze-like structure
Catacomb - underground cemetery
Dungeon - dark underground prison
Mausoleum - building housing a tomb or tombs
Sepulcher - small room or monument where a dead person is laid
Necropolis - large cemetery, especially an ancient one
Citadel - fortress that commands a city
Monastery - building occupied by a community of monks
Weather and Natural Phenomena
Tempest - violent windy storm
Miasma - unpleasant or unhealthy smell or vapor
Fog - thick cloud of tiny water droplets
Mist - cloud of tiny water droplets in the air near ground level
Gloom - partial or total darkness
Twilight - soft glowing light from the sky when the sun is below the horizon
Umbra - the fully shaded inner region of a shadow
Penumbra - the partially shaded outer region of a shadow
Crepuscular - resembling twilight; dim
Tenebrous - dark, shadowy, or obscure
Literary Devices and Narrative Elements
Foreshadowing - warning or indication of a future event
Omen - event regarded as a portent of good or evil
Portent - sign or warning that a momentous or calamitous event is likely to happen
Harbinger - person or thing that announces or signals the approach of another
Presage - sign or warning that something will happen
Doppelganger - look-alike or double of a living person
Grotesque - comically or repulsively ugly or distorted
Gothic double - character representing the duality of human nature
Unreliable narrator - narrator whose credibility is compromised
Frame narrative - story within a story
Liminal Spaces and Concepts
Threshold - strip of wood or stone forming the bottom of a doorway
Liminal - occupying a position at, or on both sides of, a boundary or threshold
Betwixt - in between
Interstitial - of, forming, or occupying interstices (small spaces between things)
Twilight zone - undefined or intermediate area between two distinct states
Purgatory - place or state of temporary suffering or expiation
Netherworld - imaginary subterranean world of the dead
Abyss - deep or seemingly bottomless chasm
Void - completely empty space
Chthonic - concerning, belonging to, or inhabiting the underworld
Miscellaneous Gothic Terms
Sublime - of such excellence, grandeur, or beauty as to inspire awe
Ineffable - too great or extreme to be expressed or described in words
Eldritch - weird and sinister or ghostly
Atavistic - relating to or characterized by reversion to something ancient or ancestral
Numinous - having a strong religious or spiritual quality; indicating the presence of a divinity
Happy writing, and Happy October! 📜🕯️- Rin T.
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theglamorousferal · 6 months ago
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The Anti-Ecto Acts have been repealed.
War with an infinite army of the dead and concepts of existence has been avoided.
Damian was glad. On opposite sides of the battlefield is not where he would have wished to reunite with his twin.
She was stubborn enough to become a ghost.
To have to face her, still so small, because she never had the chance to grow would have wrecked him. To have to explain to the family why he hesitated with that once ghost would have wrecked the rest of them too.
Damian was glad the war was averted. Maybe he could ask the ambassadors for the Infinite Realms to pass along a message to his sister’s spirit? Maybe he could help her find peace?
The five ambassadors were coming to the Watch Tower today, and Damian had convinced his father to let him come. He had agreed mostly because the five appeared to be around Damian’s age. This admittance had made Bruce’s mouth form a thin line of displeasure at the thought of young adults being the party chosen to speak on behalf of an entire dimension. Damian knew the displeasure is at the thought of the responsibility thrust upon the shoulders of ones so young, not at having to face younger people on even footing.
They had zeta’d in earlier that day and Robin was making use of one of the training rooms when Batman came to get him for the meeting. He will admit to himself that he was nervous about this meeting. He wasn’t sure if it would be appropriate to ask to send a message to his sister, but he did want to at least try.
The door to the larger meeting room swished open in front of him and he took a seat to Batman’s right. He sat there trying to collect his thoughts when he felt his hair stand on end more than usual. The temperature dropped and a bright green tear in reality formed at the other end of the room.
White fingered gloves appeared at the center of the tear and seemed to pull it wider, large enough for them to fit through with their armor. They floated about two feet off the ground and stood seven feet higher than that. They cast an eerie white glow and their eyes glowed the same bright green as the edges of the tear. Another being floated from the tear, this one just as tall with bright yellow eyes and a teal glow. Another wore a helmet to prevent anyone from seeing their eyes, but they had a red glow to them as they glided in on a hoverboard, they were still nearly six foot tall. The next was shorter, with a pair of goggles that glowed an unnatural blue and had glowing circuitry with hieroglyphics running along that arms. The last entity stepped out.
Damian knew that face. He had mourned it the last ten years.
Purple eyes, a genetic anomaly, but ones he would never forget. The same dark hair as him, thoughts flowed more like Mother’s. She had gained Father’s complexion, always fit to burn if out for too long.
There was just one thing. That face never reached that age. That face never grew to be a teenager, yet alone an adult. Why was this specter wearing his sister’s face?
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bucketofpaint · 1 year ago
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Dp x Dc Bad parents with a twist.
The Fentons find out about Danny being Phantom. Either from Vlad or just randomly. They take it badly. They think Phantom is possessing him, but they think they can "save" him. Unfortunately, the GIW think otherwise and want to destroy their son. So what do they do? They erase all signs of their existence in Amity and wiping every article and study they ever had on ghost. Then they packed up and moved to Gotham in the middle of the night. Cutting Danny off from his friends and Jazz (due to her being at college and disagreeing with them). Vlad and the Fentons become business partners. Publicly, the three work together making and marketing inventions. while privately trying to 'fix' Danny on the side.
Danny has to wear an upgraded specter deflector, which is a thin metal bracelet.
Having half of himself offline for a long period of time has been causing his physical health to decline. That and the experiments his parents have been performing on him. No full-blown vivisection. He also gets anesthesia because they believe the Danny can still feel.
It wasn't long for the people of Gotham to start to talk about Vlad Co's new business partners and their sickly son. It wasn't long after for Bruce Wayne to gain some interest as well.
The first time Bruce met the Fentons was at a gala with Masters introducing them. Jack, Maddie, and Their son. He was also able to observe that he looked more sickly in person. With deep eye bags, pale skin, and how thin he was. It made Bruce's heart ache thinking what the boy about Tim's age had been having to endure.
The conversation contuied. Danny nervously fidgeting, only giving curt responses. Mr Fenton laughed, joking about how Danny didn't like fancy events. He excused Danny, telling him to grab something to eat. Danny nodded and rushed away, grabbing food and settling down in a nestled in a far back conner.
Bruce continued talking to the enthusiastic pair, talking glances at the boy occasionally. He felt some of his tension relax when spotting Tim taking a seat near Danny.
After the gala Tim and Bruce got together and compared notes. They both came to one conclusion.
They needed to find out more.
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bitchlessdino · 4 months ago
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boo-ty call 👻 (m)
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Pairing: perverted ghost!jeonghan x cute neighbor!seungkwan x afab!reader Genre: supernatural comedy, smut Word count: 11.1k tags: a lot of puns, human body possession (con and dubcon), threesome by definition if you count a ghost, mention of food, cunnilingus, some degrading (slut), light spanking, unprotected sex Summary: As far as unwanted roommates go, your ghostly companion was one you never anticipated. But when this specter began to assert himself and meddle in your dating life—or lack thereof—you started to reconsider your stance; maybe having a roommate wasn’t so bad after all. Especially if he's helping you get laid. author note: it's sluttober! when did i last write anything and have it posted. that's crazy sorry about that yall, but i'm really trying my best to be more active, but ngl its hard. life really gets in the way and we have to remind ourselves to take a back sometimes, even from our hobbies. Thank you to @multi-kpop-fanfics and @seokgyuu for beta reading and helping me perfect this masterpiece and thank you to you guys for your patience. Enjoy! Tag: @shiningstar-byulxx @misssugarlips @tommolex @hoeforhao @dkakapizzaboy @junhui-recs @svtup @buffhoshi @meowmeowminnie @caratochan @lovebot4han @camisun93 @emmmui @toruro @jeonride @novalpha @nvmrljk @feat-sun @tinkerbell460 @aaniag @tacosandbitch @kyeomiis @wonwooz1-blog @horanghaezone
You should’ve known better than to find an apartment listing in the same place where people get lied to about the types of dogs they’re buying. To this day, your aunt is convinced her Chorkie is supposed to be pure Maltese.
Meanwhile, you’re about 99.999% sure your apartment is haunted, and whatever ghost this was, they really liked stealing your underwear. It should’ve scared you. It should’ve driven you away and rushed you out to find a newer, less haunted place to live. But it was cheap, fully furnished, and came with a walkable laundromat and a family-owned market with homegrown tomatoes. Nothing could beat that.
You could tolerate it. It was better than mooching off your parents, who ask every five minutes when you’ll get a 'real' job. Living away from your parents was necessary for your sanity and a dead pervert is much preferable to a live one.
“Can you fucking stop leaving the bathroom light on? I get that haunting is your job and all, but you’re not the one paying the electricity bill.”
If anyone could see you talking to thin air right now, they would’ve had you committed.
“And while we’re at it, could you stop stealing the lacy underwear? They’re gifts, and I don’t wear them, but I might someday, so leave me the option!”
The hallway light flickered before it finally stopped and swift air breezed past you in response, but no returning underwear. You let out a frustrated sigh and shove the rest of your dirty clothes into the hamper before proceeding with laundry day. 
You’ve never seen any part of them, yet you’re always aware of their presence. It was creepy at first, but that quickly turned into annoyance when you realized how limited their grasp on the living world truly was—just a bit of theft and light tinkering. It was manageable, but you still felt uneasy knowing you couldn’t change without feeling watched.
“I’ll be back. Don’t piss me off more when I do. It is not my week.”
Not a day had passed since you two became acquainted that he didn’t find some way to bother you, but there were definite perks to living in hell’s best apartment lease. As your feet scraped across the tiled floor, the afternoon sun briefly flushed your skin, and a familiar flutter stirred in your chest as the thought of something popped into your head. Instead of the usual contempt, longing filled your chest as you made your way to the machine.
“What do we have today, m’dear?”
Your ears perked up at the sound of his voice, and you pretended to nonchalantly turn around, as if you hadn’t just spent several minutes hoping for his appearance. “Oh, you know, the usual—interview clothes, some sweatpants, and a few coffee-stained rags.”
Seungkwan’s lips curled into a soft chuckle, his laugh warm as he tossed his own laundry into the machine beside yours. “Sounds spicy. Mrs. Whirlpool is in for a gourmet meal today.”
He said the weirdest, most ridiculous things, but the real mystery was how you still ended up wanting to kiss him anyway. There was something about his easy smile, the effortless way he tossed his dress shirt into the machine like it was some kind of party trick.
He had a knack for brightening the atmosphere as if he possessed a magnetic otherworldly charm. Whenever you arrived, you couldn't help but wish he would be there, transforming the ordinary task of laundry into an intimate little affair—just the two of you amidst a heap of dirty clothes.
You observed him from the side, noting that his stack of clothes was noticeably smaller than usual. This made you question why he would wash such a small load. “Today isn't your regular laundry day. It’s usually Fridays and Mondays, isn't it? Today’s Thursday.”
The second the words left your mouth, you cringed internally. Great. Way to sound like a total stalker. Creep much?
Seungkwan cocked a smile. “I’m flattered you’ve memorized my laundry schedule.”
You laughed awkwardly, scrambling for cover. “I pass by here and just happen to have a really great memory.”
He chuckled, shaking his head. “Well, this might sound kind of gross and embarrassing, but I found these abandoned at the back of my closet. They’ve been there forever, and I had some extra change, so I figured, why not? You know, especially since I’ll be gone at the end of October.”
“You’ll be gone for Halloween?” Well, don’t sound too disappointed.
“Yeah,” Seungkwan said with a soft chuckle, glancing your way. “Family traditions. Can’t miss them. You know, the usual—handing out candy, our neighborhood haunted house contest, all that.”
“That sounds like so much fun. Way better than my Halloween growing up.” 
“Aw, thanks, but trust me, it’s way more chaotic than it sounds. Kids screaming, neighbors going overboard with decorations—it’s a lot." He shrugged as he folded his laundry, a hint of nostalgia creeping into his tone. “What about you? Got any plans?”
“Um… I’m not sure yet. Still figuring it out, I guess,” you answered earnestly, suddenly feeling like a loser with no plans–which you were by definition.
Seungkwan hesitated, his hands stilling mid-fold, the fabric dangling loosely between his fingers. You could see something flickering in his eyes—a jumble of thoughts swirling in his mind like a muddled cloud, visible in the furrow of his brow. “Oh. Well, um…” His voice trailed off, and he shifted his weight from one foot to the other, as if he were battling whether or not to say what was really on his mind.
"What?" Your curiosity spiked, your heart quickening as you waited for him to continue. For a moment, the only sound was the rhythmic ticking of the clock on the wall, stretching the already lingering silence.
He quickly shook his head, offering a faint, almost apologetic smile before turning back to his laundry, his hands moving again, but less sure than before. “Nothing. Just—never mind.”
“Oh, okay.” The disappointment weighed on you, heavier than you wanted to admit. You glanced at the washing machines, trying to focus on the steady hum of the cycles, but your eyes kept drifting back to the numbers, slowly counting the seconds until the minutes ticked over, all while the silence between you grew louder.
You finished your load long before Seungkwan could wrap up his, the awkward tension of unfinished business hanging in the air like a thick fog. You glanced at him, hesitating for a moment before mustering a tight smile, trying to shake off the discomfort. “Well, that’s it for me. See you around, Seungkwan.”
He looked up from his laundry, the corners of his lips tugging down slightly. "See you, neighbor," he said, his tone laced with a hint of regret. The moment lingered in the air between you, thick with unspoken words, making it even harder to walk away.
With one last glance at his face, you stepped back, the soft chime of the door ringing behind you as you passed their glass doors.
As you walked  back toward your apartment, you couldn’t help but drop in confidence, thinking to yourself that maybe you didn’t deserve good things like cute laundromat boy. The hallway felt more confining than usual, the walls seeming to close in, echoing the insecure thoughts making rounds in your head.
You leaned against the cheaply painted walls of your cramped apartment, sliding down to sit on the floor with your head in your hands. It was just a childish crush—fleeting and meaningless—yet the thought of him going away scared you more than any real-life danger you'd ever faced. He was the only upside to moving to this part of town, the one thing that made the mundane feel even remotely worthwhile.
As you sat on the vinyl floor, you could still picture the sparkle in his eyes when he first opened those double doors, the warmth of his voice as he introduced himself. What had once been just laundry had turned into something to look forward to, a small break from the routine and a chance to brighten up your day in this sparse town. 
Maybe, if you were lucky, it could turn into a little small-town romance. But now, you couldn’t help but wonder if he even saw you beyond the casual pleasantries. Did he just see you as another neighbor, or maybe just a friendly face? 
The familiar flickering light in the kitchen pulled you back to the reality and up from the ground of your haunted apartment. With a frustrated sigh, you turned your attention to your unwanted roommate. “Yeah, yeah, I’m home,” you muttered, trying to shake off the feeling of melancholy.
As you walked toward the living room, the flickering lightbulbs in the lamps followed your path, their erratic dance a reminder of the presence that lingered in your space. Maybe getting rid of them wouldn’t be such a bad idea after all. It could be a way to finally cut ties with the ghost that seemed determined to remind you of your solitude. You chuckled softly at the thought. Perhaps an exorcism could clear out both the ghost and all the pointless overthinking.
But that was a problem for another day. Rotting in bed sounded far more appealing right now. You shuffled into your room, the soft glow from the streetlamp spilling in through the window, casting faint shadows on the walls as the evening deepened. The coolness of the night crept in slowly, the faint hum of the city blending into the background.
As you sank into the familiar embrace of your blankets, the exhaustion in your limbs finally settled, but your mind lingered for a moment longer. You glanced outside, the dim light catching in the leaves of the trees below, and for a fleeting second were at peace. No ghosts, no old washers or dryers, no obsessive crush. Just sleep.
You sighed, pulling the covers tighter around you, letting the hum of old furnishing–and probably the old pervert ghost–as you drifted off into sleep.
Your rest was cut short by a full bladder, ready to burst. With heavy eyelids, you stumbled toward the bathroom, barely aware of your surroundings. As you relieved yourself, everything felt normal—the creaking of the bathroom door, the sporadic running of the faucet, and the occasional flickering of the lights above, indicating his restless presence.
You groaned, rubbing your eyes with your fists. “This wasn’t an invitation, Casper,” you muttered, irritation creeping into your voice.
As if to taunt you, the faucet suddenly turned on full blast, running wildly before shutting off completely, leaving you with nothing but the simmering annoyance bubbling inside of you. With a frustrated huff, you quickly flushed the toilet and turned to the mirror. The lone reflection staring back at you looked as tired as you felt.
With dark circles under your eyes and a complexion that could only be described as dull, it was starting to feel like you were one bad hair day away from getting "gave up" tattooed across your forehead. And suddenly you were wondering whether you looked more dead than the ghost.
Instead of wallowing more self-pity, you washed your hands under the running faucet. If the ghost wanted to bother you, it certainly wasn’t going to be about your hygiene. You kept that on lock.
You glanced back at the mirror and no longer were you alone. Instead, where your reflection should have been was the unsettling visage of your ghost, staring back at you with a smirk that sent a shiver down your spine. His pale features were striking, almost ethereal, with an undeniable charm that twisted your gut. Those mischievous eyes sparkled with a playful malevolence.
Your ghost was attractive–strikingly so–and for some reason that made you dislike him even more.
You shot your shared reflection an unamused smile. “Was that supposed to scare me?”
His reflection chuckled, leaning over his sink to give you an unfiltered view of every extraordinary detail etched into his face like a sculpture. “What? I thought I could finally introduce myself.”
“After months of me already living here? I feel the moment has passed,” you shot back, crossing your arms in defiance.
“Well, I had to pass my own judgment, didn't I? Do you know how many coke-huffing, cheese puff-grubbing, athlete-foot-walking slobs I’ve encountered in my place of residence?” He leaned closer, his expression mockingly serious, the flickering light casting playful shadows across his sharp cheekbones.
“May I remind you that those people were renters? If they paid to be there, who were you to deny them that?” You raised an eyebrow.
“Like I didn’t pay when I was alive? Plus, Muriel definitely wasn’t paying, nor was Monty. They were beyond sketchy.” He rolled his eyes dramatically, clearly relishing the chance to air his grievances from beyond the grave. “Now that I think about it, there was definitely some laundry going on around here—and I’m not just talking about your underwear strewn all over the place.”
“Thanks for the reminder. Would you please leave the undergarments alone?” you replied, trying to keep the irritation from creeping into your voice as if you didn’t sound crazy enough talking into a mirror.
He shrugged nonchalantly, the flickering light casting shadows across his smirking face. “I will once you learn to toss them in the hamper like a normal humie. Upside to being dead: no laundry.”
“I don’t have to take this from someone who can’t even wear underwear anymore.”
“So you assumed I died without any on? How morbidly perverted of you.” His playful smile widened.
You scoffed, incredulous at the absurdity of the conversation you were having—with a ghost of all people.
“You know I’m right…I could sense your heart racing the moment you laid eyes on me,” he teased, a playful grin dancing across his lips as his jaw hung slightly slack in intrigue. His gaze swept over you, lingering on the way your breath caught in your throat, as if he were drinking in every detail, alive in the way his eyes glowed with mischief despite their soulless depths.
His ghostly figure was lean and toned, the contours of his form faintly visible like a lingering shadow, brimming with an energy that felt both alluring and infuriating. The flickering light cast an ethereal glow around him, highlighting the sharp angles of his jaws and the way his seemingly wet hair fell carelessly over his forehead. He leaned closer, the air thickening with a mix of annoyance and something dangerously enticing as if he relished the effect he had on you.
“Are you…flirting with me?” You couldn’t believe you had to ask, but the glint in his eye was undeniable.
“It’s not illegal. Not in the afterlife, anyway. Anything goes here.” He leaned back against the sink, bloodless veins pulsing against his forearms, enjoying the encounter more than he should.
“I…need sleep.” 
You peeled yourself away from the mirror, shaking your head in disbelief, and headed to bed without looking back. You slipped through the sheets, found comfort in their familiarity, and sighed, thinking you escaped.
“You know—”
“Jesus!” you burst out, your heart racing as you instinctively clutched your chest. Opening your eyes, you found the ghost looming above you, his expression a mix of amusement and annoyance. “What now?”
“Walking to a different room isn’t exactly a proper goodnight,” he said, crossing his arms over his spectral chest as if he were the arbiter of etiquette in the afterlife. His expression was mock-serious, and the playful glint in his eyes suggested he found the whole situation amusing.
“As if ghosts even sleep?” you shot back, rolling your eyes.
“No, but it’s polite,” he replied, feigning indignation, the corners of his mouth twitching upward in a barely contained grin.
“Is this going to keep happening? You annoy me until I scrape together enough money to move out, or, if I’m not fortunate, end up penniless and homeless,” you lamented, your voice dripping with sarcasm as you threw your hands up in frustration.
“You tell me.”
With a sigh, you shut your eyes again and threw the blanket over your head, seeking refuge. “At least save it for the morning.”
And the ghost did just that—he saved all of it for the morning, better yet the afternoon. Since that’s when you woke up anyways.
“Do people always eat breakfast past two p.m., or is that a recent trend from the last two decades?” his voice called, cutting through the haze of your half-sleep as you started to eat 
“How old are you even?” you mumbled, cereal gnashing between your teeth.
“Old enough to know that you need more than cereal to sustain a healthy human body.”
“Riveting,” you muttered sarcastically, sipping the milk from the bowl. “Next, you’ll tell me that ‘ghosting’ is a real thing in your realm, too.”
“Actually, it is,” he retorts, his presence somehow stronger than it was in front of a mirror, “Happen to be doing it right now. Having some fun.”
“Is that your idea of fun? Stalking me from beyond the grave?”
“Call it what you want, but I’m just trying to keep you company,” he replied, his voice low and smooth, like honey dripping from a spoon. “Besides, who else is going to breathe some life into your dull existence other than someone who’s already checked out of theirs?”
You rolled your eyes, crossing your arms with a playful huff. “Great. Just what I need—my own ghostly life coach. What’s next? A seminar on the benefits of double-scrubbing the bathtub?
It was meaningless stuff, really. The kind of chatter that filled the air like background noise, a gentle distraction from the world outside your walls. Yet, for someone who was supposed to be dead, he had an uncanny knack for conversation, it only made you assume the type of person he was alive. He could turn the mundane into clear images, painting vivid pictures with his stories about the afterlife—or, more accurately, his gripes about it. Not that you asked for it, but, it was like being told a grand story. Stories you could not for the life of you stop listening to for some reason.
“Okay, ghostie—”
“Jeonghan,” he corrected. “Say it with me slowly. Jeong. Han.”
“Mmh, ghostie! I’ll be back after the laundry is done.”
“No way you’re saving money with how often you—”
“Bye bye, poltergeist!” You cut him off with a wave, stepping out with a load full of laundry.
You had noticed how quickly the days were slipping by, how time seemed to blur when you shared your space with someone—or rather, something—that could actually respond to you in real-time. It was a strange kind of companionship, one that made you forget just how much solitude had weighed on you before.
The passing days also reminded you just how much you needed a breather, to clear your head from this bizarre living arrangement. And somehow, your laundry had piled up, more than it ever should have for someone unemployed who barely left the house. It was odd. Almost like time itself was moving faster, dragging the mess along with it.
“Hey, right on schedule—Thursdays and every other Monday and today’s Monday..”
You almost forgot about Seungkwan amidst all the supernatural nonsense swirling around you, but seeing him brought back memories of your last encounter, and you quickly put on a smile. “Hey there! Look at you, recognizing my laundry schedule too.”
“Thought I’d return the favor since you were kind enough to remember mine. Hope that’s okay,” he replied, his tone light.
You piled your laundry into the machine, carefully measuring out some freshly opened detergent. “It is.”
“Okay… I just want to apologize for being weird the last time we talked,” he said, shifting slightly as he leaned against the machine, his expression turning a bit more serious. 
“There’s nothing to apologize for,” you assured him.
“I just… I don’t know.” He glanced down at the floor, his brows furrowing slightly. “My mind went blank, if I’m being honest.”
You smiled reassuringly. “I get that. Don’t worry your pretty little head over it.”
He looked up, a playful grin spreading across his face. “So you think I’m pretty?”
Fuck. “It’s… just an expression.”
He leaned against his machine, his gaze fixed on you. “Didn’t deny it, though.”
You chuckled, feigning exasperation and mirroring his posture against your own machine. “You’re a lot more cocky than I realized, Mr. Seungkwan.”
“Do you like that?”
The question caught you off guard, and for a moment, you were left speechless. Your mouth dropped open in surprise as your thoughts bounced from one corner of your mind to the other until finally, they found themselves running down between your legs in a new form of discomfort. “Umm…” 
You turned away for a moment, breathing to steady yourself, gently patting away your very alive heart.
“I made it weird again, didn’t I?” he said, his voice laced with a hint of regret.
You spun back around, shaking your head. “No. No! It just took me by surprise.”
“Sorry about that.” Not sounding all that sorry.
“That’s…more than I’m used to,” you admitted, a slight heat creeping onto your cheeks.
“Thank you?” he replied, a grin tugging at his lips.
You let out a soft laugh, the sound brightening the air between you and making the moment feel lighter and more vibrant. Just then, the machine beeped, a sharp sound signaling that your clothes were done, pulling you away from the heated exchange.
A comfortable silence enveloped you both, but this time it felt different—like the crackling of kindling in the perfect moment when fireflies come out, illuminating the night as brightly as the stars in the sky. You exchanged a quiet glance, catching a glint reminiscent of those stars in his gaze, and for a second, it felt like the universe was telling you, ‘Hey, maybe there's something here.’
When you finally turned to leave, your smile was the biggest you’d ever had. And when he matched yours, it was like you had just won a bizarre lottery. You probably looked a bit unhinged, standing there grinning at nothing while swaying in the damp weather, but you didn’t care. The butterflies in your stomach danced happily, and you found yourself wishing you could hold on to this moment just a little longer, savoring the warmth it brought.
“You look happy.”
Not even the Ghostbusters’ final boss could ruin that for you.
“Cram it, Beetlejuice Lite,” you shot back, because although you’re in a good mood, you relished finding new names to call Jeonghan besides his own.
You hummed to yourself as you folded and neatly put away your clothes, feeling his cool, lingering presence behind you. He watched, like always—probably thinking up who put sugar in your cereal this morning for you to be in such an uppity mood.
“Well, I’ll be. You’re actually putting your clothes away like a functional human being?” His voice oozed mock surprise, but today, it just rolled right off you.
“Yep! Just felt like it,” you replied cheerfully, sliding the last of the shirts into your drawer with a satisfied nod.
“Strange. I thought laundry was your natural habitat now, seeing how often you’re in there… but I guess that’s thanks to a certain ‘living,’” 
You snapped your drawer shut, the sound echoing through the room as you whipped around to glare at him, immediately pulling you away from the happiness you felt not that long ago. “You—”
“Seungkwan, wasn’t it? Cute kid. Didn’t quite peg him as your type, though.” He leaned against the wall, arms crossed, a self-satisfied smirk playing on his lips.
Your eyes narrowed, heart doing an involuntary somersault. Of course, he’d noticed. He seemed to notice everything, like some twisted version of a nosy neighbor, only this one didn’t have the decency to keep his opinions to himself. You wanted to fire back, but your brain was moving a step too slow, still caught up on the casual way he dropped Seungkwan's name. How long had he been watching you both at the laundromat?
“You’re stalking me outside of the apartment now?” you asked, raising an eyebrow.
“My spirit may be bound to this place,” he replied with an air of nonchalance, “but my soul can roam as it pleases.”
“Spirit? Soul? Aren’t they the same thing?”
He tilted his head, giving you a patronizing smile. “Not quite. My soul travels freely, observing everything within a reasonable distance—it’s not tethered to the apartment like my spirit is. My spirit stays here, out of my control.”
“So, you spied on me just because you could?”
"Call it research. Gathering intel." He shrugged. "Besides, it's not like you were doing anything interesting."
"Oh, I'm so glad I could provide you with such riveting entertainment.”
You shook your head, leaving the bedroom and closing the door behind you, only to have Jeonghan pass through it. "You know, for a ghost, you're surprisingly annoying."
"For a flesh-and-blood mortal, you're remarkably unfazed," he observes, his ethereal voice echoing slightly. "Most wouldn't last a day with my...unique brand of housekeeping."
You paused, a small smile tugging at your lips. "Yeah, well, I'm not most people."
“So,” he began, “about this Seungkwan guy…”
You stiffened, feeling your cheeks heat up. “What about him?”
“Just curious,” he replied casually, though there was a glint in his eyes. “He seems... nice.”
“He is,” you mumbled, suddenly finding your laundry far more interesting than the conversation again.
“And you like him?”
Your heart raced in your chest. “I don’t know,” you admitted, the words almost sticking in your throat. “Maybe.”
“Does he like you?”
You hesitated, fiddling with the edge of your sleeve. “…I don’t know yet.”
There was a beat of silence before he offered, “Want some help with that?”
“No. What? How would you even do that?” You narrowed your eyes, already regretting entertaining this conversation.
He started circling you, wearing a grin that screamed trouble, like a cat ready to pounce. “The only time my soul and spirit are truly joined,” he began in a low, conspiratorial tone, “is when I possess a body and take control of their flesh.”
You rolled your eyes. “Where is this going, Bloody Maury? Skip to the part that makes sense.”
He stopped directly in front of you, arms crossed. “Well, if you’re interested in ‘skipping to the good parts,’ I could possess your body. Help you say what’ll win over Seungkwan in no time.”
You stared at him, dumbfounded. “Why in the hell would I be dumb enough to let you do that?”
He snickered, leaning in with a smug look. “Because you’re desperate and haven’t slept with anyone the entire time we’ve lived together.”
“…You talk too much.”
“Think about it,” he continued, unbothered by your glare. “You’ve already got a foot in the door with him. You just need a little boost. I can help.”
You crossed your arms, narrowing your eyes. “This sounds like some high-level scheme to take over my body. Then I’ll end up stuck sharing it with a ghost, screaming into the depths of my soul for eternity. Thanks, but no thanks.”
He chuckled, shaking his head. “You’ve been watching too much supernatural TV. And besides, if I wanted to possess your body for good, I would’ve done it a long time ago. I do have some principles, you know. Consent and all.”
You shook your head, unimpressed. “Nope. I still can’t trust you, ghostie.”
Jeonghan, ever the persistent undead, didn’t know the meaning of giving up—and by now, you should’ve expected as much. And maybe, just maybe, his constant, incessant persuading was starting to wear you down. Sharing the same space day in and day out gave him the upper hand. He knew your quirks, your weak spots—the best and worst parts of you.
These past few days, you weren’t sure if you were going insane by agreeing with a ghost, or if he was actually starting to make some sense.
As you stared off at him, basking in the cool autumn air slipping through the balcony, you started to wonder if his intentions were not as venomous or malicious as you initially thought. There was a strange, quiet sadness in his eyes as if he longed for something he couldn’t put into words. Something that you couldn’t understand even if you tried.
“Am I really so pathetic that the ‘phantom reject’ is willing to help me with my love life?”
Jeonghan glanced at you with mild interest, noticing the way your curiosity had piqued. You sat comfortably on the couch, your elbow propped on the armrest, cheek nestled in your palm, as you observed him. He quietly approached, given that his feet were intangible and didn’t reach the ground, the silence was deafening and he lowered his head to level with you, staring back at you with so much intent it burned to feel his gaze.
He titled his head, brimming with pride. “Well, let’s just say I’ve never been rejected in my life. So.”
“You really think this’ll work for me?”you asked, skepticism lacing your tone.
“Of course,” he replied, with a grin. “You’ve got me.”
You were really considering it—letting a ghost help with your love life. Was this truly insane? Maybe. But it felt like it was worth a shot.
God, this was pathetic. And for once, you had something to be genuinely afraid of. And funny enough, it wasn’t possession. Until, well… maybe it was.
Life had never quite prepared you for this. Standing in your bedroom, surrounded by the overflowing pile of dirty clothes in the corner, you realized you’d put this off long enough—both the laundry and the body possession. You let out a shaky breath, glancing nervously from the mess to Jeonghan. 
His presence loomed, just as insistent as the neglected chores, and you had to steady yourself, mentally sorting through how you’d ended up in this bizarre situation. Laundry? Fine. Ghost possession? Not something you thought was possible. You took a deep breath, forcing yourself to assess the ridiculousness of it all.
“Okay, Grim Peeper, let’s do this.”
Jeonghan chuckled softly as you tried, and failed, to shake off the nerves. His movements were deliberate as he approached, eyes narrowing in focus. He watched how the tension gripped your shoulders, the way your breath quickened despite your best efforts to stay calm. His presence felt heavier, and as he took his position in front of you, the air around him seemed to still. 
You could feel the weight of what was about to happen, the looming absurdity of it all. Jeonghan, who usually exuded a kind of careless charm, now looked oddly concentrated, as if he were preparing for something he rarely had the chance to do. His expression, though still smug, carried a certain gravity. But in all honesty, he wasn’t really sure what to expect.
“I’m about to make contact,” Jeonghan said, his tone unusually serious. “It’s going to feel a bit disorienting at first—like a cold shiver running down your spine. But after a few seconds, your mind will adjust, and it’ll feel like nothing ever happened. My voice will echo in your head, almost like it’s your own thoughts. I’ll let you know when it’s me taking control.”
His hands hovered over your shoulders, a ghostly chill brushing against your skin. For a split second, there was something oddly reassuring in his dead, sullen eyes. "You'll be okay. I promise, nothing will go wrong."
You sighed, feeling the weight of the moment pressing down. "Alright, I trust you." Then you glanced at him, a small smirk forming. "But seriously, what do you get out of all this? Helping me, I mean. I won’t judge... Boo-dini."
He let out a short laugh, tilting his head slightly as if considering how to answer. “I…want to remember what it’s like to feel alive again. See what I missed out on.”
“That’s fair,” you nodded, understandably.
“Expected more from me, humie?”
You shrugged. “Thought you’d have a deeper back story, but that’s fine.”
Jeonghan scoffed softly, giving you a teasing smirk before he began. In an instant, he was there—and then he wasn’t. The shift was so sudden it left you reeling. Just as he’d predicted, a shiver rippled down your spine, cold and unsettling. But what he hadn’t mentioned were the flashes of unfamiliar images that flickered behind your eyes, moments you’d never lived but somehow felt were real.
They came and went so fast, you couldn’t make sense of them—fleeting fragments of his past, perhaps, or echoes of something even older.
‘How are you?’ he voice said, interrupting your thoughts.
You quietly nodded, reassuring him.
‘Very well then. Your lead, dear host.’
You wandered into the laundromat with your overstuffed hamper, feeling a bit like a laundry pirate hauling treasure—or dirty socks—across the high seas. You’d made the executive–and rightfully cowardly–decision to skip your usual laundry day, and now it was leading up to this very moment. Jeonghan stayed mostly dormant in your body as you claimed an empty machine, the back of your head itchy knowing another being was sharing your body that has led you this far. And now it was going to lead you to get laid.
It was like clockwork. Any minute now, Seungkwan would stroll in, and Jeonghan would take over, handling all the nerve-wracking nonsense you'd rather avoid.
‘Don’t be nervous,’ his voice echoed, ‘I almost thought it was my own heart racing, then I remembered I’m dead.’
“Sorry,” you muttered softly under your breath, ignoring the supernatural’s attempt at a joke.
‘It’s fine. Everything will be fine.’
“I know,” you sighed.
“You know what?”
You spun around, facing Seungkwan, who’d entered with that casual, friendly energy you always admired. He smiled, raising an eyebrow at your startled expression.
"Seungkwan!" you blurted out, trying to push the embarrassment down as far as it would go.
“Hey, neighbor,” he greeted, already moving toward his machine, gently separating colors from whites. “How are you?”
“Good—Great! Why do you ask?”
He gave you a light shrug, glancing up with a playful grin. “Just sounded like you were talking to yourself.”
“Well, who doesn’t?” you quipped, trying to play it cool. “Sometimes thinking out loud helps clear the head noise, right?”
“Right,” he said, stretching with an amused smile, clearly entertained by your odd, jittery energy.
‘Wow, thank god you have me.’
You quietly cursed Jeonghan in your head for making this harder than it needed to be, before mustering up the nerve to approach Seungkwan, fingers nervously fidgeting.
"Hey, so... you mentioned you were going to be out of town for Halloween, right?"
Seungkwan looked up, surprised and then grinned. "You remembered! Yeah, what’s up?"
You hesitated for a second, feeling Jeonghan’s smug presence lingering somewhere in the back of your mind. "I thought..."
Seungkwan leaned casually against the now-humming washer, hands tucked in his pockets, his curious gaze fixed on you. "Yeah?"
You tried to keep your cool, but the moment the words "we could do something" left your mouth, your brain started to short-circuit. Seungkwan turned to you with that easygoing grin of his, waiting for you to elaborate, and you could already feel the awkwardness creeping in.
Jeonghan’s voice chimed in, ‘You’re fumbling. Let me take over.’
Before you could protest, the familiar shiver ran down your spine. Suddenly, everything felt distant—your limbs moved, but you weren't fully in control anymore.
Jeonghan’s smooth voice came out of your mouth as if it were the most natural thing in the world. "I was thinking, maybe we could hang out before you head out of town? You know, catch a movie, grab a drink, something low-key, say my place?"
Seungkwan's smile widened, surprised but clearly intrigued. "You want to hang out with me?”
Jeonghan, still in control of your voice, replied effortlessly, "Of course." Before you could even process what was happening, your feet began to move on their own, gliding across the floor like a spy on a secret mission. Jeonghan closed the distance between you and Seungkwan, and suddenly, your hands were fidgeting with the hem of Seungkwan's shirt. “I figure it’s a good excuse to steal some of your time before Halloween hits."
Your heart raced, and you mentally screamed at Jeonghan, Okay, okay, that’s enough! I can take it from here!
But he was on a roll. "Tomorrow?" Seungkwan asked, leaning casually against the washing machine, though the way he shifted his weight from foot to foot betrayed his nervousness. His cheeks were flushed, and his eyes sparkled with a mix of curiosity and uncertainty.
"Tomorrow’s perfect," Jeonghan responded smoothly, maintaining the effortless flow of the conversation. "I’ll text you the details."
With each word, your body felt like it was moving on autopilot, and while you were horrified by the lack of control, a part of you couldn't help but feel a rush of exhilaration. Jeonghan was nailing it, but the closeness to Seungkwan was almost too much to handle.
Suddenly, Seungkwan playfully entwined his fingers with yours, his touch sending a jolt of warmth through your hand, as his grin graced his face. Your eyes fluttered shut for a brief moment, savoring the warmth of the connection. When you opened them, you found an unreadable expression on his face—intense and smoldering. “Sounds like a plan,” he said, his voice slightly softer now. “Looking forward to it.”
The way he held your gaze made your heart skip a beat, and for a moment, the world around you faded into a soft blur. Even though Jeonghan was in control, your thoughts tangled with the heat of the moment, coursing through you like a fever. 
As soon as Seungkwan turned away to his laundry with a lingering grin, Jeonghan released control, and the reins were back in your hands. You blinked, still a bit disoriented from the possession.
‘See? Easy,’ Jeonghan’s voice echoed smugly in your mind.
‘You’re impossible,’ you shot back.
‘But effective.’
That night, you tackled all the prep work you knew you needed to get done. It had been a while since you’d done anything like this, and you definitely had some dust bunnies and spiderwebs in your attic.
“Humie–oh.”
“Jeonghan! What the hell?” Your eyes flew open as you scrambled to pull the shower curtain over your bare legs, the chill of the water sending a shiver up your spine from the products strewn haphazardly at the edge of the sink. “Do you fucking mind?”
“Well, well. Look at you, all cleaned up. At least yourself, anyway. Can’t say the same for the bathroom floor—or that mountain of grooming products over there.”
You gripped your makeshift cover-up a little tighter, groaning in frustration. “Privacy, please! I barely have any as it is.”
“I’m just saying, I’m proud of you. Now, if you manage to sweep up after, I might even give you a round of applause.”
“Out!” you snapped, glaring.
He shrugged, turning to leave with an impish grin. “Hey, roommates catch each other with their pants down one way or another.”
If you weren’t already a bundle of nerves, Jeonghan was getting far too comfortable for your liking. Leading up to that night and the big day, he had been dishing out advice on everything from what to wear to what movie to play, right down to critiquing the meager food stock in your fridge.
“That’s it, you need to go grocery shopping.”
“I can't afford that right now!”
“Just get Instacart. I don’t care. This apartment is as bare-bones as it gets.”
“I have popcorn, soda, and some chocolate for Halloween when I'm giving them out.”
“First of all, popcorn isn’t actually food. Second, prebiotic soda doesn’t count as real soda. And if you can get chocolate, then you can definitely manage to buy some real groceries.”  
But just as you were about to respond, luck decided to abandon you with a sharp knock at the door. “No time!” you hissed, “now scr—oh, you’re already gone.”  
One moment he was there, and the next, he had vanished. Now, it was all on you, and nothing felt more nerve-wracking. You tugged your shorts down just enough to cover the rest of your bottom, anxiety buzzing in your chest. Your hand hovered over the doorknob as you took a deep breath, trying to muster some confidence before swinging it open to reveal who was waiting outside.
“Seungkwan, hey!”  
“Hey!” he grinned, his Halloween-themed vest adding a playful touch to his outfit as he juggled a couple of bags in his arms. “You didn’t ask, but I thought I’d surprise you with some food. Pumpkin-spiced spaghetti and meatballs.”  
“Oh, uhhh…”  
He burst into laughter, his eyes sparkling with mischief. “I’m just messing with you! It’s actually butternut squash gnocchi and some stuffed peppers that look like pumpkins.”  
“Oh, thank God! That sounds amazing.”  
“Yeah, it’s festive without going overboard.”  
You nodded in agreement, feeling a warm rush of relief. “Come in.”  
As you stepped aside to let him in, you couldn’t help but notice how wholesomely he was dressed compared to your casual attire. Suddenly, you felt a pang of self-consciousness.  
“I like your sweater,” you said, trying to mask your growing insecurity.  
He looked down, a hint of modesty crossing his face. “Yeah, I think it’s just the right amount of festive, but—”  
“It’s festive but not overboard,” you responded, playfully tossing his words right back at him.  
He grinned, “Exactly!”  
You smiled back, feeling a wave of warmth as Seungkwan's presence began to calm your nerves. As he settled into the familiar space of your apartment, you couldn’t help but discreetly scan the room for any signs of your ghoulish roommate. Half-relieved to find nothing, half-disappointed that your spectral “backup” was nowhere in sight, you let out a quiet sigh. And now it was just you—and the human you actually invited in.
Hesitantly, you eased into the spot next to him on the couch, feeling a knot tighten in your stomach. Your hands were jittery as you picked up the remote, scrolling through the movies you’d lined up, your mind racing to figure out what to do next. 
You glanced at him, hoping for some sort of sign or direction, but the words caught in your throat. The longer you scrolled, the more painfully aware you became of the silence, as if it only heightened the nervous tension taking over your body, weirdly missing Jeonghan and how flawlessly he executed what he did yesterday.
"So, movies," you said, aiming the remote at the TV.
"Movies," he echoed, mimicking your tone.
“I mean,” You raised a brow. "What do you have in mind? And there is a right answer."
He chuckled, scratching the back of his head. "Alright, I love Halloween, but..."
"But?" you pressed, leaning in slightly.
"I... really can’t handle scary movies. Halloween Town is probably my limit."
"Halloween Town? The kids’ movie?"
"Hey, don’t knock it. They had great graphics!"
"They had awful graphics!" you shot back, incredulous.
He grinned, half-joking but clearly standing by his point. "Yeah, now. But for its time?”
You shook your head in playful disbelief, unable to hold back a smile. “You’re ridiculous. But fine, your choice.”
You were left with very few options. Seungkwan had suggested a few festive, family-friendly titles, but you managed to persuade him to consider a couple of mild thrillers—some stupid but perfectly on theme.
“The zombie version of Twilight? Seriously? Zombies?" he repeated, stressing the idea with disbelief.
You shrugged, smiling from his reaction. “You might like it.”
He dropped his head in defeat, cute little whines escaping his pursed lips. “Fine, but you’d better be my shield for this, okay, neighbor?” 
The movie began to play, the take-out boxes popped open, and your nerves were on high alert, vibrating like something else does on a normal Friday night for you. Except now, it was just you and the incredible realization that the man you're very much interested in was mere inches away. You were a fucking wreck.
Surprisingly, Seungkwan was genuinely enjoying the film, finding unexpected humor and charm in the cringeworthy blockbuster. His laughter was soothing and infectious, gradually easing your nerves until you started to feel normal again. Why were you like this?
Wait, you felt normal again, but what was normal?
Before you fully grasped what had happened in that fleeting moment of clarity, your hand made contact with Seungkwan, trailing lightly up his forearm. He immediately turned to face you, and your eyes locked, but suddenly they felt as if they belonged to someone else as if you were watching a different kind of film—a film where you were a separate character, experiencing everything from an alternate reality.
“Seungkwan,” your voice spoke, sounding foreign and distant as if someone else were taking control. Jeonghan? 
‘It was so painful to watch.’
Jeonghan guided your hand to brush against Seungkwan's ear, teasingly grazing the tip and relishing the warmth that bloomed between your fingers.
“Hey,” he replied, his nerves speaking for him. “Is something wrong?”
A low chuckle escaped from the depths of your throat, echoing Jeonghan’s playful menace. “You didn’t think we were just going to watch a movie, did you?”
Seungkwan audibly gulped, his eyes darting around as anxiety crept in. “We aren’t?”
“What’s the matter?” Jeonghan leaned in closer, your lips brushing against Seungkwan’s ear. “Where’s that confidence you had yesterday?”
Seungkwan suddenly tossed a pillow onto his lap, speechless and blushing fiercely. “Sorry,” he stammered, caught off guard. “I never anticipated—”
“Oh, really? You never expected to do something other than watching movies?” Your hand gently cupped his cheek, and you could feel Seungkwan melt into your touch with a gentle whimper.
A delighted sigh escaped you, fueled by Jeonghan’s newfound confidence coursing through your veins as your thumb traced the curve of Seungkwan’s Adam’s apple, feeling the rapid thrum of his pulse beneath your fingertips.
“You didn’t think for a second, I’d–you know–keep the night as is, did you?”
He softly groaned in his throat, feeling the tension seep inside him. “Are you suggesting?”
“I don’t want to just watch movies with you, Seungkwan. It’d be more fun to make our own. Isn’t that right?”
“...yes. God, yes.”
He leaned in, cradling your face in his hands, and pressed his lips to yours in a swift, hungry kiss, sending a surge of electricity through you as your tension unraveled in waves. His weight dipped against your body, pinning you against the rough tweed of the couch. His soft moans mingled with your breaths, muffled yet threatening, as if he were desperate to let loose and explore the desire in his heart while you were within reach.
‘That’s it.’
Your hand held the back of his head, catching strands between your fingers and tugged, ravaging his lips as if it’d be the last time you’d get a chance. You weren’t sure when Jeonghan gave you back your control, but in the heat of the moment, none of it mattered.
He tasted like a life force, fueling the fire burning in your loins and the fire kindling in your stomach; he had you wanting more with every passing second. His hands grabbed you recklessly, throwing his weight against you and squeezing your flesh until it was tender and malleable in his hands. This wasn’t something to unfold on the couch, you thought—not when a big, inviting bed lay just a few steps away, calling for you.
Your feet regained enough feeling to guide you off the couch, and before you knew it, you were stumbling toward your room, feverish and driven, with no thought of turning back. Your hands found his clothes, teasing beneath his holiday vest and up his torso, admiring the smooth flush of skin that graced your senses. He gasped, succumbing to your excitement and leaned into it, falling seamlessly into your rhythm.
“Didn’t want to stretch this, but,” he pulled the vest and shirt beneath over his head, tossing them aside in the corner. You let your hand linger longer on his body, running along the curve of his spine as he pulled you closer.
Seungkwan grasped your waist, savoring your lips with gentle strokes of his tongue before lifting you from the ground and onto the bed. Your bodies crushed against one another, peeling off articles of clothing one piece at a time until you were almost bare, expertly taking you apart to have you whole. All to himself as far as he knew.
“Seungkwan,” you called out in pleas, hands cradling the back of his neck as his hair fell over his eyes. “I want you so bad…”
“You’re telling me,” he managed to breathe out,  gripping your underwear at its hem and scrapping it over your hips as he pulled them down. “I’ve thought about you ever since I met you.”
Your heart bloomed in your chest, pleasantly startled by his confession. Your hands ran through his hand, pushing them over his forehead despite knowing they’d only fall back in place. “You were always so…friendly.”
He smiled, pressing it against the corner of your lips and decorating your cheeks and jaw with kisses. “Yeah. I always hoped that we’d be more than just friendly.”
“Well, mission accomplished.” You pulled him back into a lip lock, parting your legs to give him access.
‘Look at all the fun you’re having.’
Jeonghan was like a wandering whisper, weaving through your thoughts as Seungkwan enveloped your senses. Seungkwan’s hands were on your body, touching what’s yours and making it his, where Jeonghan could feel it as much as you could, and you knew it. He got off on this just as much as you did.
‘Feel him rubbing that pretty pussy of yours.’
“So wet…” Seungkwan said with ache, sounding like he was pleading.
His digits found your sensitivity and thumbed over your clit, stimulating you until your voice rang but the last thing you were doing was speaking. You became fluent in moans, fluid in body language, and perfect in Seungkwan. Your breath dragged on, panting against him as your leg hooked to his side, holding him with urgency.
‘So fucking horny…you were begging to be fucked, hmm?’
You couldn’t help but nod, hand lowering to find Seungkwan’s raging erection just within reach. He softly gasped, thrusting into your touch as you held his shaft, stroking his length that felt so full in your hands. So stiff, yet warm to the touch, almost tasting the tension on your tongue. 
‘Look at that size, huh? Imagine how that feels in you. Stretching your pussy and making you feel so full? Doesn’t that sound amazing?’
“I need you in me Seungkwan.” You begged in desperate pants, gripping him by the forearms. “I want to feel you inside me.”
There was a certain eagerness in his eyes, the kind that said he would do anything and everything for you in a heartbeat and succeed. You weren’t dealing with any average guy that wanted to get off. “Fuck,” he whispered, before lifting his upper body, putting himself on full display.
His physique was magnificent in every way, tantalizing and captivating like nothing you’ve ever encountered. You had an inkling of what he looked like under all his clothes, the veins always so prominent on his forearms and hands when he strained to reach something on a shelf, the line of his back when his lifted shirt revealed just a sliver of skin, or his wide hips, baring an ass so round and full they look like they came straight out of the oven. Never have you ever wanted to run your hands over something, nor have you ever wanted to sink your teeth into something. Yet, here was Seungkwan: utterly delectable.
Seungkwan dragged you by the ankles, moving you effortlessly as he angled himself between your legs, your molten heat practically dripping at the sight of him. His groan bounced off the walls, hand coming over your inner thighs and gently massaging your skin. As his kisses started to pepper over your legs, you felt your pussy physically throb, damned to eternal craving.
“You look like heaven,” He cried against your thighs. “Any protection?”
“It’s right–oh.” You picked up a rubber conveniently left at your nightstand, then handed it to Seungkwan. ‘You‘re welcome.’
He set it aside with a smile and instead of putting it on, his face fell on your heat. He tasted you like it was worship; the dance of his tongue was his prayers, while your response flowed like a cascade of blessings. You whined when you felt him pursed around your clit, teeth barely grazing you as he sucked down like you’re the last bit of syrup in a dessert.
At the same time, his eyes glazed over to yours, a hand hovering over your chest, inaudibly asking permission, and when you gave him a wordless nod, he grabbed handfuls of your breasts. He kneaded you between his knuckles, rolling your buds between his fingers, and having you surrender to his chase.
“Seungkwan, please…”
Seungkwan’s eyes glimmered with pride, a sultry testament to the depth of his exploration. The longer he ventured, the more you found ogasmic relief, feeling every ounce of his efforts and every ounce of his pleasure. You held him by his hair, leg anchoring over his back, feeling his tongue massage your inner walls. His voice vibrates inside you, somehow stealing your breath, and filling you with utter euphoria. 
‘You feel that? How much he wants you? How much he craves you. He’s been waiting for this day. And you should reward him. Don’t you think?’
You tugged him up, watch him gasping for air, replace one pair of lips with another. You flipped him on his back, gaining momentum, and relishing in the power of control, and swallowing his gasps. You aligned the hilt of his cock towards you, ensuring you wrapped it protection before it sat between the slit of your folds. 
Seungkwan tilted his head back, his eyes glistening with desire as he admired you, his gaze revealing his thoughts like an open book.  "You're so sexy," he murmured, the words spilling out without hesitation. While his look said it all, hearing it felt like a heated rush of affirmation, and it made you want him more.
You pushed his length in you, feeling his size pulsate through you, and a moan managed to pass through your lips. Shivers ran down through you, goosebumps pebbling your skin, and you realized the raging presence of Seungkwan was going to be the death of you. As he rocked inside you, he held your hips in place, guiding your form up and down on lap, adjusting to your squeeze, and adjusting to how it contracts. “Oh my god, please, you’re driving me crazy.”
“Just like I wanted,” You teased. 
Your lips brushed against his neck, grazing your teeth over his skin before making passionate kisses to his neck, grinding down on his body until there isn’t a hint of space between your bodies. You were growing weary–albeit needy–chasing a high that was so close to be conquered. You felt it, Seungkwan felt it, and damn well Jeonghan felt it. You needed more, just a little more.
Suddenly, the air was knocked out of your lungs, as if something vital had escaped from within you, and your movements were put to a halt. 
“Sorry,” you apologize, pushing the hair way from your face. “Not sure what happened. I promise–”
“Don’t apologize to me, Humie.”
You heard his voice—or rather, an echo of Jeonghan’s voice—calling from below you, and as you met his gaze in Seungkwan’s eyes, your expression widened in shock. “Jeonghan,” you declared menacingly.
“In the flesh. Well, not my own, but you get the idea,” he quipped.
You nudged at the body beneath you, careful of not hurting the host. “Get out of this poor human’s body right now! What happened to consent?”
“Oh, he’s very much consenting to the thrill of this level of intimacy,” Jeonghan replied, a teasing grin spreading across his face.
“Not when it involves a literal ghost!”
“Relax, he won’t remember a thing. My spirit won’t let him. All he’ll recall is the good time he had,” the body thief winked playfully.
“Bullshit! Do what’s right and let the boy go.”
“But I am doing what’s right.” His grip tightened around your hips, pushing Seungkwan’s cock deeper in you as if it was possible and ebbing weak moans from as he pulled you closer, a wicked smile dancing on his lips. “So right.”
“J-Jeonghan,” you stammered, your pulse quickening.
“I just couldn’t take it anymore, Humie. You looked absolutely ravishing. I had to experience you for myself.”
Your head was screaming all kinds of denial, but your body thrived off his confidence, his energy was flowing through you, splitting through you and hitting a spot of pliancy. This was so wrong. “This…this is violating…for him…”
“But you love it, don’t you? It’s like a wicked thrill, a tantalizing pleasure that feeds your deepest, most tumultuous desires.”
You scoffed, trying to ignore the pulsating cock rocking your very core. “And what kind of desires is that?”
“You want us both,” he answered plainly. “The human and me.”
You shook your head, fingers tightening around Seungkwan’s shoulders in a desperate bid for security as you fought against Jeonghan’s seductive temptations. “You’re out of your mind.”
“Then, why don’t you get off of me?”
“It’s Seungkwan I can’t get off of,” You clarified.
You could recognize Jeonghan’s smile, even though it was plastered on Seungkwan’s face—so conniving, so devilish. It exuded an intoxicating power that was inhumane, but irresistible. “But it's me you’re riding–and fucking hell–you look so good doing it.”
“Jeonghan…” You whimpered, pleading for release from his coercion, but as you feared, mercy eluded you entirely.
“Yes,” His palm rode up your body, his lips parting in haughty confidence. “Beg for me, beg for me to fuck you full.”
“...Fuck it. I want you to fuck me full.” You accepted him, feeling the tension of the cock inside you, ripple waves straight into your heat. 
Mindlessly, you accepted his domineering hand that landed on your mouth, feeling it travel past your lips, parting way with his thumb. You wrapped your lips around his digits, sucking them like candy, and the shame that once enveloped your paradoxical feelings dissipated, leaving only a deep hunger in its wake. 
Whether it was Jeonghan or Seungkwan beneath you, it was all true to its very core. You had an undeniable infatuation for your cute neighbor and a strange fascination with the handsome ghost. The connection you felt with both was more than palpable, leaving you with an unexplained frenzy of emotions that would require extensive therapy. You knew the logical choice was the one who was alive, but you had never considered that you could have both—especially not in such a chaotic, unorthodox three-way.
“Look at what a slut you are for us, your lips so perfect wrapped around these slender fingers of his.”
“What the fuck is wrong with me?” you quietly muttered to yourself, grinding harder, sucking Seungkwan’s fingers deeper, and gradually succumbing to Jeonghan’s demands.
Jeonghan let out a deep, rolling laugh that resonated from Seungkwan’s core, a sound so rich and dark it sent a momentary unease through you. “You’re simply giving into your desires, why fight it?”
“You damn well know why,” you spat out his fingers and gritted your teeth.
“Now that’s not nice,” His hand covered the shape of your ass, cupping them in his palms, “Do I need to show you how to be nicer to me?”
“Jeonghan,” you groaned, feeling his digits dig into your flesh as he spread them apart. 
“What’s that, baby?” he experimented, “Looks like I have to make this a teaching opportunity after all? Because you can’t show your gratitude?”
“Jeonghan, please.”
“Well, if you insist.” With an unexplainable, arcane, supernatural force, the dynamics were switched and Jeonghan had you on your stomach, ass conveniently placed in from of him. 
“Jeonghan!”
"I always knew you looked good from every angle, but wow—this one is something else." His hand glided over your curves, Seungkwan’s cock splitting down your divide, you grasped your thirst.
Anticipation was wreaking havoc on your sanity, leaving you in a deafening silence as you waited for Jeonghan to make his move, impatience following. “Will you just–”
A hand clashed against your backside, your skin stinging from impact, and relieving you from a ched yelp. Jeonghan braced you against a groin, the erection nudging at your skin. “So needy,” he chuckled. You felt the tip tease along your slit, eventually filling you up in that familiar way.
You whimper, the size still enticingly foreign, and back into his weight, feel yourself travel all the way down to the base.
“And impatient,” Jeonghan softly groans, grounding himself to you in careful, yet sharp thrusts.
You balled your sheets into fists, your voice muffled as you buried your face in a pillow.
He chuckled against his skin. “That good?”
“Y-yes,” you helplessly whispered.
He slammed down on you, releasing a squeaky spring sound from the bed, both embarrassing and strangely arousing. “Even when I do that?”
“Yes…more please…”
Jeonghan repeated the move, finding a steady rhythm, and watched as your skin and flesh recoiled back against him. He could feel his host basking in the intensity of this pleasure, tears swelling his eyes as your moans echoed in his ears, memorizing from the decibels your voice reached, to the way you looked from behind, and even how the flesh of thighs spilled when you collapsed wearily on the mattress.
“Insane,” He said in hushed whispers.
“Stop it,” you whined.
“Stop what? Showing you how fucking perfect you are taking my cock?” He grunted.
You pressed your lips in a firm lip, clawing down on the bed as your core tightened, every pound drilling into you, giving into his indulgence and taking you along with him. He made every thrust count as the echo of skin slapping faded into the background.
“Oh please, help me cum.” You begged. “Please, please, please…”
His pace quickened, his rhythm erratic. “Yeah, you want your cum to coat around my cock like a good little whore.”
“Yes, Jeonghan please, just give it to me.”
“You asked, and you shall receive.”
Finally, he bottomed out into you, unleashing the reins he held to prolong this moment and cut them lose. Your body was no longer yours, weakened by the spirit draining your energy. Your jaw fell slack, unable to close, a waning moaning stretching for miles, ecstasy coursing through your veins. 
You said one name, then another, and then again. This was really confusing but you were here, pounded into oblivion for what it seem endless eternity, until you realized you were full and not with what you had initially anticipated. In the remenance of fatigue from the sex, you fail to notice the lack of protetction seeing as proof of you supernatural rendezvous was seeping out of you like a slow river.
“Jeonghan!” 
“What?” he drowsily answered as he claimed the side of the bed besides you, evidently using the extent of Seungkwan’s body.
“What the fuck happened to the condom?”
“Please, that’s my own cum.”
“Excuse me?”
“Ectoplasm, you know. Comes from all sorts of places.”
“I hate you so much—am I gonna get pregnant with ghost kids?”
“Relax, and no you aren’t. It’s as effective as…something really ineffective–fuck, I’m tired.”
“And Seungkwan. What about Seungkwan?”
“He’s fine and his release became as good as mine when I possessed his body. His soul is asleep right about now, having a catnap. Now come here.” he pulled you towards him, throwing your covers over you and keeping you away from the draft into to room, slipping you into his arms. “Stop tiring yourself out any further and rest. Everything will be fine when he wakes up like a man that got laid: amazing.”
“Fine,” you muttered with heavy eye lids, “but only because im really tired.”
And from that moment sleep was easy.
You woke up to those same arms, now only asleep and less “ghost-like” and snuggled up closer to him, a newly acclaimed heat source. A soft chuckle escaped him, holding you tighter in his embrace as a kiss fell on the top of your forehead. “Hey there.”
You smile, cupping the side of his face in your hand. “Hi.”
“That was amazing, you’re amazing,” he said, planting another kiss on your nose. “Is it weird to say it felt so good I kinda blacked out?”
“Ha,” you shook your head, knowing the truth, “No, but thank you for the massive compliment.”
He grinned, a flush of red coating his cheeks, before pulling you into a deep and wonderful kiss, entanging his legs with yours. He seeped into realization when he found the mess between your legs, untouched since sex. “Oh shit, I did that, didn’t I?”
“It’s okay, I…have some sort of protection.”
“One moment.” Seungkwan came up naked from the bed, momentarily left the room, and with a noticeably wet hand towel. “I usually have an extra clean one on hand for after my workout. Glad I brought a backpack for no reason today.
As he inched closer, he sat between your legs, uncovering you from the blanket, and politely asked if he could help. When he received your consent, he brought it up to the mess, gently swiping between every crevice, ridding any remnants of cum that might have been left over. 
“You didn’t have to do this,” you reassured, visibly gushing.
“Of course, I do.” He insisted, a sincere smile gracing his features. “It's my pleasure taking care of you.”
It was so disorienting going from the original to Jeonghan’s version and back to the original Seungkwan. As if you were once looking through a window of an alternate reality. Still a lot to process what happened.
“I don’t usually do this,” you try explaining yourself, “I just…I’ve been into you for a long time and I just thought, maybe, you felt the same.”
“I do,” he pressed his lips to your inner thigh. “A lot.”
“So you wouldn’t mind seeing me again?”
“I wouldn’t object to the idea,” he grinned, “especially if we get to do what we did to make me black out in the first place.”
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esthercore · 5 months ago
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Genshin Men & Their cum ૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡
The 3 am horny strikes again | HSR Version
Albedo - Oh, quite controversial if I may. It's a bit chalky, not in taste, taste is just fine but in texture. A bit grainy, with a consistency on the thinner side. Even the color is bit too translucent. Definitely something that take to time to grow on your, if you're picky with textures like me. Maybe try and compare his cum with his clone's for scientific purposes...
Al Haitham - It's...cum flavored, but the taste is a bit amplified, strong. And it's thick and globby too. The scholar isn't a big fan of jerking off, since it's too much work and too unproductive, so full balls just for you <3
Ayato - The taste is quite pleasant, fresh, and smooth in texture. It falls in the can't complain category, it isn't the best, but there is also no bad features, though the quantity is a bit low due to constant work stress.
Baizhu - Same as blade, his body is working overtime, and his health is fucked, it's very thin, but don't tell him, it break his poor heart.
Childe - Thick thick, really like seeing you struggle to swallow his load, patting your head as you choke a bit. It takes just fine, though leans a bit on the bitter side.
Diluc - Sweet and delicious! Grape fruit really do wonders, he easily top in the taste specter. The consistency is average not to thick or thin, and quite a pleasurable amount. Nice and warm, thick gooey cum.
Itto - The taste is slightly addictive, and metallic. Also has some thick globs. It's quite distinguishable if you ask me. Perhaps a hit or miss for some people, but you should definitely give it a taste, especially for that shy grin he pulls, quite pleased with your actions.
Kazuha - He has the a healthy amount globs in between, the taste, the texture, the amount all are satisying. Especially the way he refuses to look you in the eyes, getting all shy after you swallow.
Kaeya - The most amount in Tevyat, and the best texture, and he sure as hell knows it. Gets so smug at your cock drunk face, a bit of his cum dripping down your neck, a bit spilled on the
Neuvilette - Fresh, like water from a mountain lake, very cold too, so good on a hot summer evening. Plus this man is a 500 year old virgin so you get a glorious amount. The only downise is the consistendy running on a bit thinner side.
Thoma - It's cum, plane, basic, average everything. Unless you're talking about his flustered expression, as you lap up his cum, that's a solid 10/10
Wriothesley - Another one that likes to see you choke trying to swallow, he loves the humiliating aspect, calling you names while tenderly petting you. His cum itself is pretty normal but makes up with the foreplay. Loves bukkakke.
Zhongli - Thick and creamy, taste sweet too! He gets so shy when you swallow, he's to old and modest for this, so grandpa's pulse immediately go haywire.
Bonus!!!
Dottore - Thick and the amount is in excess. He's so perverse during the foreplay, intentionally making sure to drench you, making you open your mouth and inspect it after you swallowed, and making you lick the cum you spilled on the floor
Capitano - The best overall in Tevyat, thickest, most yummy, the most amount, yet he's modest regarding everything. He simply likes you doing your own stuff, and indugle yourself in him. Will pet your head when you swallow, happy you're enjoying yourself. Maybe give you some sweet pecks if you tell him, his cum is the best.
(Reminder, Genshin is a fictional game, hence the unrealistic descriptons. If i missed any of your favs, which i probably did, just tell me and i do a part 2.)
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novaursa · 5 months ago
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Cregan Stark Masterlist
main list
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- NSFW Alphabet - explicit 18+
- The Silent Game - When your family took the side of King Aegon II, the usurper, you felt the need to support the rightful Queen and your husband, the Warden of the North. No matter the cost. - mature 16+
- The Weight of Ice - You try to lift Cregan’s ancestral greatsword which he wields with ease. It doesn't go as planned. - mild 13+
- The Wall - Cregan takes you to see the Wall, and Silverwing comes with you. - mild 13+
- The Wolf's Desire - After the Dance, Cregan took position as the Hand of the King until the realm under your younger brother’s rule is stabilized. But Cregan's thoughts today are far from establishing order and justice to the capital. - explicit 18+
- Fox in Wolves Den - You were instructed by Larys Strong to spy the northerners, to thin their ranks. But today you faced the Warden of the North himself. - mature 16+
- Winterfell's Warmth - Cregan takes you to be his wife, a fire to his ice. And it's not long until smallfolk notice just how much Lord Stark is devoted to his Targaryen bride. - mature 16+
- Daisy - Heavy with your and Cregan’s first child, you get suspicious when your husband starts to sneak out to see Daisy. - mild 13+
- The Cold Embrace (1/2) - When your older brother, Jacaerys, promised you to the Warden of the North as an alliance offering, your world crashed. Because you knew one thing: dragons die in the North - and not even honorable Lord Stark could change that fact. - mature 16+
- The Cold Embrace (2/2) - As time passes, snow begins to melt. - explicit 18+
- Valyrian Bride - When your older brother, Jacaerys, promised you to Cregan to be his bride, the Lord Stark did not expect what he got - a trueborn dragon. - mild 13+
- Valyrian Bride (Continuation) - mild 13+
- Valyrian Bride (Final Chapter) - mature 16+
- Valyrian Bride (dragon eggs) - Cregan was expecting a quiet day. But nothing is ever truly quiet with his dragon-blooded children. - mild 13+
- Valyrian Bride (dragon's bath) - You invite Cregan to join you in a warm bath. - mature 16+
- Valyrian Bride (nameday) - Cregan notices his wife and children doing strange (well, stranger than usual) things for him throughout the day. - mild 13+
- Winter's Solace - Specters of the past came back today once more to hunt you, but Cregan holds them back. - mature 16+
- The Cycle - Cregan leaves with his duty to the Wall and you are left alone with a choice Larys Strong brings. - explicit 18+
- The Cycle (one for the price of two) - alternative scenario - Explicit 18+
- The Cycle (justice) - Cregan delivers justice for your son and Grey Ghost. - explicit 18+
- The Frozen Throne - You and Cregan win the Dance. - mature 16+
- The Gullet's Price - The day you received the news about the death of your brother, another life was lost. - explicit 18+
- Dreams of Fire - You brought gentleness to the harshness of the North, and Cregan finds himself warmed by your presence. - explicit 18+
- The North's Fiercest Catch - You challenge Cregan to hunt down a dragon. - mature 16+
- Fire meets Ice - A short story about how you challenged Cregan to bring more fire into your bedchamber. - mature 16+
- Winter's Eve - A short story for Christmas Eve. - mild 13+
Works (velaryon!reader/Cregan Stark) below are listed in chronological order:
- The Dragon and The Wolf - Rhaenyra sends her daughter instead of her son to fly North. You. - mature 16+
- A Union of Ice and Fire - After your mother, Queen Rhaenyra, approves of the marriage between you and Cregan Stark, you marry under watchful eyes of gods of old. And one week later, a raven arrives carrying dark news. - explicit 18+
- The North Remembers - You return to Dragonstone, where you mourn with your family as you receive the message from Cregan. - explicit 18+
- The Heir of Ice and Ash - A little less than a year into your marriage with Cregan, you give birth to your first child. - mature 16+
- Fires That Never Freeze - You receive the news about Rhaenys' death at Rook's Rest, before Jace arrives as he secures the Twins. - explicit 18+
- The Wolf's Flame - When you take your son flying, Cregan keeps fires warm for your return. - mature 16+
- Hour of the Wolf - Cregan keeps his promise to you, and delivers Northern justice to the South. - mature 16+
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sarahsinferno · 6 months ago
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I am a specter in the glass,
an echo of longing trapped
in the thin light of morning.
While I dissolve in the quiet of rooms,
a silence heavy with the weight of wanting.
Each moment you pass is a blade,
cutting through my stillness,
leaving a mark that never heals,
an unspoken confession of my hunger.
I am the hollow shell,
the empty gaze that follows,
burning with the cold flame
of what I cannot grasp.
In the mirror, the truth is unspoken,
a color I cannot name,
a shadow I cannot escape,
an endless loop of never enough.
Poem: Envy by S.T. 2022
Painting: Ophelia by Henri Lehman
Oil on canvas 1847-1847
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literaryvein-reblogs · 1 month ago
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Writing Ghosts
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Astral projection - The process of separating the astral body, the body’s spirit or consciousness, from the physical body. It’s an out-of-body experience. Deriving from the Latin astralis, astral projection can also be called astral travel, because it’s believed the spirit traverses the entire universe. Spiritualists use astral projection to communicate with those beyond the earthly realm.
Bogey - another word for evil spirit. The word probably traces back to the Middle English bugge, “frightening specter”.
Boggart - Related to bogey and bugge, boggarts can haunt domestic or geographic areas. Boggarts are always mean.
Channeling - In spiritualism, it is communicating with the paranormal in a state of trance or meditation. Spiritualists describe the action as “plugging into a switchboard” or a “grid frequency” to receive information from the ‘other side.’
Clairvoyance - Any ability to perceive psychic phenomena. In spiritualism, clair (“clear”) can be prefixed before any of the other four ‘normal’ senses, resulting in terminology that applies to a medium’s super-sensitive perception of a spirit: clairaudience is “clear hearing,” clairsentience “clear feeling,” clairalience “clear smelling,” and clairgustance “clear tasting.”
Cold spots - In the paranormal world, cold spots are indications of spirit activity. They aren’t sensed by everyone; the ones that do feel the chill are said to be more sensitive to the preternatural.
Doppelgänger - In the ghostly realm, a doppelgänger is an exceptional spirit, possessing the unique ability to appear in more than one place at once. This talent is reflected in its German name, which means “double goer” or “double walker.” Usually, a person’s doppelgänger appears as a sign of something bad to come, or as an omen of the viewer’s impending death. The poet Percy Bysshe Shelley is said to have seen his doppelgänger a week before he drowned.
Ectoplasm - Adopting a biological term originating in the late 1800s, spiritualists define ectoplasm as a cloudy mist, “usually a milky white vaporous color,” that halos before an apparition appears. From Greek ecto (“outside”) and plasma (“something developed or created”), this mystical mist is like a protective skin through which the specter shimmers into view.
Eidolon - In Ancient Greece, eidolons were spirits of the dead who possessed the living. Not always menacing, they would inhabit a living individual to convey a message, carry out an action for one of the gods, or tie up loose ends leftover after they died.
Kobold - Meaning “hut goblins,” kobolds can be kind or conniving depending on their mood. They’re also entirely changeable in appearance, with the option to materialize in human, animal, or object form.
Lemures - (also called larvae) The unequivocally bad ghosts of Ancient Rome, whose violent tempers and deeds in life mean eternal punishment to roam the limbo between worlds. To keep lemures at bay, Romans would fling spit-soaked black beans into the night shouting, “Be gone, you specters of the house!”
Manes - Romans believed people’s souls were demons, which were categorized in the afterlife. Good souls were called lares, bad souls lemures, and the in-betweeners were the manes. These are “the thin or unsubstantial” souls.
Necromancy - Whether you converse with spirits the old-fashioned way or by exchanging telepathic thought-waves, communicating with the deceased is an example of necromancy. The word traces back to the Ancient Greek nekromanteia, where nekros meant “dead body” and manteia “divination” or “oracle.” In effect, a necromancer is divining or discovering information from the deceased about the past, the future, or the world beyond.
Poltergeist - In German, poltergeist means “noisy ghost,” the ‘noise” in question produced by the sounds objects make when hurled and smashed against walls, ceilings, other objects, and screaming human beings.
Psychokinesis - Another paranormal power is psychokinesis or telekinesis, where objects are moved without physical contact with them. In Greek, kinesis means “movement” or “motion.” The psycho– prefix highlights the “mental,” “spirit,” or “unconscious” force behind the movement (movement with the mind), while tele- references the “distance” between the mover and the thing moved (movement without being close to or touching the object).
Revenant - One that returns after death or a long absence.
Vortex - Just as a natural vortex is a whirling mass of water, fire, or air, a paranormal vortex is a spinning swirl. But it’s composed of supernatural elements, which can apparently only be captured in photographs—they appear as refractions or corkscrews of light.
Wraith - In Scottish lore, doppelgängers or fetches were called wraiths. The wraith can be a water spirit portending a sailor’s death at sea, or a more general prophesy of demise, taking shape in the exhalation of a dying person’s breath.
Sources: 1 2 3 ⚜ More: Notes & References ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs
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thedensworld · 8 months ago
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Sweet Truth | C.Sc
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Pairing: gangster!Seungcheol x reader (ft. detective!Mingyu)
Genre: angst, fluff, action
Summary: The relationship become unstable and lot of things happened. It's time for truth to be revealed
Read Sweets Macaroons for the reference.
Seungcheol's head spun with dizziness as he tried to process the sudden turn of events. The revelation that one of his trusted people was actually a cop, spying on his every move, sent shockwaves through his organization. Now, they were forced to retreat and hide in a secretive location, while the authorities scoured Seoul in search of him.
Amidst the chaos and danger, Seungcheol's thoughts were torn. On one hand, he had to ensure the safety of his people, protect his organization from crumbling under the weight of betrayal. On the other hand, tonight was his anniversary with his girlfriend, you. He had promised to be there, to celebrate your love together.
But as the pressure mounted and the stakes grew higher, he realized that fulfilling both promises seemed impossible. His heart ached with the weight of responsibility, torn between loyalty to his people and love for you. He wanted nothing more than to be by your side, to hold you close and forget about the dangers lurking in the shadows. Yet, the reality of their situation loomed large, forcing him to make difficult decisions.
Seungcheol found himself holed up in their secret sanctuary with Jeonghan and a handful of trusted allies, their presence providing a thin veil of security in the midst of uncertainty. With only a burner phone in hand, he refrained from reaching out to you, knowing the danger it could pose if the authorities traced any connection between you and him. His heart weighed heavy with concern for your safety, yet he couldn't risk putting you in harm's way.
He trusted Jun to check on you, knowing that you would likely still be at your bakery, preparing to close for the night. Jun, once a trusted member of your staff, had been tasked with a different mission—keeping you safe without your knowledge. After you discovered this, Seungcheol had swiftly ordered him to cease all surveillance on you and resign from his position. It was a bitter pill to swallow, realizing that he couldn't get any updates anymore about your daily activities.
For four agonizing months, Seungcheol had been living in the shadows, cut off from any information about you except what you shared directly with him. The void of not knowing gnawed at him day and night, tormenting him with thoughts of your safety and well-being. His life had become a constant dance with danger, ever since the fateful transaction with the Chinese drug seller that had put him squarely in the crosshairs of the law.
The constant threat of being hunted by the authorities cast a dark shadow over every aspect of his existence, tainting even his most cherished moments with you. Gone were the days of carefree meetings and stolen kisses. Now, every interaction was tinged with the heavy weight of survival, as Seungcheol remained on high alert, vigilant against any sign of danger that might threaten both himself and you.
The once vibrant connection between you now felt strained, suffocated by the secrecy and paranoia that enveloped his world. Seungcheol longed to hold you close, to share in the simple joys of your love without the looming specter of his illicit industry hanging over them. But deep down, he knew that exposing you to his dangerous world was a risk he could never justify. The thought of putting you in harm's way was unbearable, and so he kept you at arm's length, shielding you from the darkness that consumed him, even as it tore him apart inside.
"Hyung, Jun has sent an update about Y/n," Jeonghan said, passing Seungcheol his tablet so he could read the message for himself. Seungcheol's breath caught in his throat as he scanned Jun's message. It hinted that you might be returning home earlier than usual, prompting Jun to head to your apartment. Frustration twisted his features as he absorbed the information, a knot of anxiety forming in his chest.
The thought of you potentially arriving home earlier, expecting to find him waiting there, sent a pang of guilt coursing through Seungcheol. He cursed under his breath, torn between the desire to see you and the fear of putting you in harm's way. With each passing moment, the weight of his double life pressed down on him, suffocating him with the knowledge that his actions could endanger the person he loved most.
As he awaited further updates from Jun, Seungcheol couldn't shake the gnawing sense of unease that gripped him, knowing that every decision he made could have devastating consequences for both himself and you. As Seungcheol and Jeonghan calmly discussed their next strategy, a sudden interruption shattered the peace—a phone call from Jun. Seungcheol's heart leaped into his throat as he swiftly abandoned the conversation and answered the call.
His eyes widened in shock as he listened intently to Jun's words, every syllable sending a jolt of adrenaline coursing through his veins. "Kim Mingyu took her," Jun's voice crackled over the line, each word striking Seungcheol like a physical blow. He felt his muscles tense involuntarily as the gravity of the situation sank in. Mingyu, a rival in their world, was not to be underestimated, and the thought of him having you in his grasp sent a chill down Seungcheol's spine.
With a sense of urgency gripping him, Seungcheol rose from his seat, his mind racing as he processed Jun's report. Mingyu's actions threatened not only you but also the delicate balance of power within their underworld. As he listened to Jun's account of the events unfolding, Seungcheol's emotions roiled within him—a potent mix of fear, anger, and determination.
In that moment, everything else faded into the background as Seungcheol's sole focus became the safety of the person he loved. With a steely resolve hardening his features, he knew that he would stop at nothing to ensure your return, even if it meant facing off against his most dangerous adversaries.
"Kim Mingyu, the stupid cop!" Seungcheol's voice seethed with anger, his fists clenching at the mention of his rival's name. The audacity of Mingyu's actions, resorting to kidnapping to further his agenda, ignited a fierce determination within Seungcheol. "So this is how he wants to play the game? By kidnapping her?" Seungcheol's words dripped with disdain, his mind already calculating his next move. Mingyu had chosen the wrong opponent, Seungcheol vowed silently to himself, his resolve hardening with each passing second.
Seungcheol's heart plummeted as Jeonghan's phone rang, the sudden intrusion breaking the tense silence that hung in the air. With a sense of foreboding, he watched as Jeonghan's expression shifted from confusion to alarm upon seeing the caller ID.
"It's Mingyu," Jeonghan announced, his voice tight with apprehension as he answered the call. Seungcheol's grip tightened on the edge of the table, his knuckles white with tension as he waited for Jeonghan to relay the message.
The air seemed to grow heavy as Jeonghan's eyes widened in shock, his breath catching in his throat as he listened to the voice on the other end of the line. Seungcheol's heart pounded in his chest, the anticipation of Mingyu's words gnawing at him like a relentless predator.
"What does he want?" Seungcheol demanded, his voice edged with thinly veiled hostility as he leaned in closer, desperate for any shred of information.
Jeonghan's hand trembled slightly as he held the phone to his ear, his brow furrowed in concentration as he strained to make out the words. Suddenly, his eyes widened in horror as he held the phone out for Seungcheol to see.
"It's a picture," Jeonghan whispered, his voice barely above a whisper as he turned the screen to face Seungcheol. The color drained from Seungcheol's face as he stared at the image displayed on the screen—a chilling snapshot of you, lying unconscious in the back of a car, your face pale and lifeless.
The world seemed to tilt on its axis as Seungcheol processed the sight before him. Mingyu's sinister message was clear—your safety hung in the balance, a pawn in his twisted game of cat and mouse.
A surge of fury coursed through Seungcheol's veins as he clenched his fists, his nails digging into his palms with barely restrained rage. Mingyu had crossed a line, and there would be hell to pay for his audacity.
"Where is he?" Seungcheol's voice was low and dangerous, his eyes blazing with a fiery intensity as he fixed his gaze on Jeonghan. Every fiber of his being screamed for retribution, for swift and merciless justice to be served.
Jeonghan swallowed hard, his own expression mirroring Seungcheol's steely resolve. "He didn't say," he replied, his voice tinged with frustration as he relayed Mingyu's cryptic message.
Seungcheol's jaw clenched as he processed the information, his mind racing with possibilities. Mingyu may have thought he held the upper hand, but Seungcheol was not one to be underestimated. He would stop at nothing to ensure your safe return, even if it meant facing off against his most formidable adversary yet.
With a sense of grim determination, Seungcheol knew that the time for waiting and hesitation was over. Mingyu had made his move, and now it was Seungcheol's turn to play the game. And this time, he would play to win, no matter the cost.
*
You are innocent, that's what Seungcheol needed Mingyu to know. As his mind divided into two, his people and you, Jeonghan approached him with urgent news – Mingyu was on the line. Seungcheol wasted no time, seizing the phone and pressing it to his ear, the weight of impending danger bearing down on him.
A scream, muffled yet unmistakable, pierced through the phone, seizing Seungcheol's heart in a vise-like grip. Mingyu's laughter followed, chilling and sinister, as he issued his ultimatum: "Come to me or I kill her."
Seungcheol's eyes squeezed shut in anguish as he uttered his defiant response, his voice trembling with a mixture of fear and resolve. "No police should harm an innocent citizen."
Mingyu's laughter grew more derisive, his taunts cutting deeper with each cruel word. "She dated you, Seungcheol. How can you be so sure she's innocent?"
Seungcheol's jaw clenched, his resolve hardening as he fired back, "She doesn't know anything about my job."
But Mingyu's retort was swift and cutting, a cold reminder of the tangled web of deceit they were ensnared in. "Oh, she may not know now," Mingyu sneered, "but she'll lead you straight to me soon enough."
A desperate cry tore through the phone, your voice echoing with terror and pleading. "No! Don't come find me!"
Seungcheol's heart clenched at the sound, a swell of guilt and anguish washing over him. What had Mingyu told you about him? Had he already poisoned your mind against him with his lies?
As doubt gnawed at his resolve, Seungcheol knew one thing for certain – he would stop at nothing to protect you, even if it meant confronting the darkest shadows of his past.
"Can I talk to her?" Seungcheol pleaded with Mingyu, desperation lacing his tone. Jeonghan, who watched the whole scene unfold, gasped in surprise. For the first time, he witnessed his formidable superior pleading to someone else.
"Seungcheol..." he heard you whimper his name breathlessly. "Don't you dare come to me..."
Seungcheol sighed heavily, his heart twisting with worry. "How can I not come to you? You're in danger, baby."
"I'll be fine," you said, but Seungcheol didn't buy it. He could hear the tremor in your voice, the underlying fear that threatened to consume you.
"Kim Mingyu..." Seungcheol's words were cut off as the phone call abruptly ended. Kim Mingyu was a menace, a ruthless cop who stopped at nothing to achieve his goals. Seungcheol knew that all too well.
Mingyu's vendetta against Seungcheol stemmed from one simple fact – Seungcheol held a crucial piece of evidence, a file that exposed Mingyu's ties to the Russian organization, Klinok. This organization was notorious for its involvement in drug trafficking and human exploitation, and Mingyu would go to any lengths to protect his secrets.
Seungcheol clenched his fists, frustration simmering beneath the surface. Mingyu's interference threatened not only his own safety but also yours, dragging you into a dangerous game neither of you asked to play.
As Seungcheol paced the room, his mind raced with thoughts of how to outmaneuver Mingyu and protect you from harm. But with Mingyu holding all the cards, Seungcheol knew he had to tread carefully.
Jeonghan watched his superior with a mixture of concern and admiration. Despite the dire circumstances, Seungcheol remained steadfast in his determination to keep you safe. It was a side of Seungcheol that few had seen – vulnerable yet resolute, willing to risk everything for the person he loved.
With Mingyu's threat looming over them, Seungcheol knew that time was running out. He needed to find a way to outsmart Mingyu and rescue you from harm's way before it was too late. But as the minutes ticked by, the weight of uncertainty pressed down on him, threatening to crush his resolve.
"Jeonghan," Seungcheol called out, his voice tinged with urgency, "I need you to help me with a big favor."
Jeonghan turned to face Seungcheol, his expression reflecting a mix of curiosity and concern as he awaited further instruction. "What should I do?" he asked, ready to lend his support in whatever way necessary.
"I need you to handle everything," Seungcheol began, his tone grave and serious. "I need you to choose your assistants carefully."
Jeonghan's brow furrowed in confusion. "What?" he mumbled, struggling to comprehend the gravity of Seungcheol's request.
"I need you to cover for me," Seungcheol clarified, turning to face Jeonghan directly. "I can't do this anymore."
As the weight of Seungcheol's words settled over them, Jeonghan couldn't believe what he was hearing. Seungcheol, the formidable leader of their organization, was entrusting him with the responsibility of leading in his absence. It was a momentous decision, one that Jeonghan never anticipated.
"Seungcheol, are you sure about this?" Jeonghan asked, his voice filled with uncertainty. "I mean, I'm honored, but..."
Seungcheol placed a reassuring hand on Jeonghan's shoulder, his expression grave yet resolute. "I trust you, Jeonghan," he said firmly. "You have the strength and the wisdom to lead in my stead. I wouldn't ask this of you if I didn't believe in you."
Jeonghan felt a surge of emotion welling up inside him. To be entrusted with such a significant responsibility by someone he respected and admired meant more to him than words could express. He nodded, determination shining in his eyes.
"I won't let you down, Seungcheol," Jeonghan vowed, his voice filled with conviction. "I'll do whatever it takes to protect our organization and keep our people safe."
Seungcheol nodded, a small yet appreciative smile gracing his lips. "I know you will, Jeonghan," he said, his tone filled with confidence. "Now, go. Our people need you."
With a final nod of acknowledgment, Jeonghan turned and set off to fulfill the daunting task that lay ahead. As he stepped into his new role, he knew that he had big shoes to fill. But with Seungcheol's faith in him as his guiding light, Jeonghan was ready to rise to the challenge and lead their organization into a new era.
*
Seungcheol drove to the address Mingyu had sent him, his knuckles white as he gripped the steering wheel. He couldn't believe that a police officer could stoop to such despicable acts. Not that Seungcheol hadn't done his fair share of questionable deeds, but he had never crossed certain lines. Yet, here he was, forced to confront the dark reality of Mingyu's actions.
As he navigated the streets of Seoul, memories of his past deeds weighed heavily on Seungcheol's mind. He had never claimed to be a good person – far from it. But seeing you, with your unwavering love and adoration, had stirred something deep within him. It had made him question the path he had chosen, and whether he could ever truly leave behind the life of crime he had embraced for so long.
Before the chaos ensued, Seungcheol had been meticulously planning the organization's future, laying the groundwork for a smooth transition before he announced his retirement. It was a decision fueled not only by his desire to settle down with you but also by a newfound sense of responsibility and a longing for redemption.
As he neared the address Mingyu had provided, Seungcheol's heart raced with a mixture of anticipation and dread. He knew that confronting Mingyu would be dangerous, but he was willing to risk it all for the chance to rescue you from harm's way. With each passing moment, the weight of his decisions pressed down on him, threatening to consume him with doubt and uncertainty.
But as he pulled up to the designated location, determination hardened in Seungcheol's eyes. No matter the outcome, he would stop at nothing to ensure your safety and bring an end to Mingyu's reign of terror. With a deep breath, he stepped out of the car and prepared to face whatever lay ahead.
Seungcheol entered the old building, his senses on high alert as he scanned his surroundings. The dimly lit corridors were eerily quiet, save for the occasional creaking of floorboards beneath his feet. His heart pounded in his chest as he took in the sight of several unconscious bodies strewn across the floor, a chilling reminder of the danger that lurked within.
With each step he took, Seungcheol's worry for your safety intensified. He couldn't bear the thought of anything happening to you, not when you were so close, yet so far from his reach. Determination flared within him as he pushed forward, his mind focused solely on finding you and bringing you back to safety.
As he ascended the staircase to the floor above, the sound of voices grew louder, mingling with the unmistakable echoes of struggle and conflict. Seungcheol's instincts kicked into overdrive as he hastened his pace, his muscles tense with anticipation.
Seungcheol froze in his tracks, the sound of the gunshot echoing through the corridors like a thunderclap. Dread washed over him, threatening to paralyze him with fear as he contemplated the possibility of Mingyu harming you. His heart pounded in his chest, each beat a painful reminder of the stakes at hand.
For a moment, Seungcheol's mind raced with a million possibilities, each one more terrifying than the last. His breath caught in his throat as he braced himself for what he might find on the other side of that door. But amidst the chaos of his thoughts, one thing remained clear – he couldn't afford to hesitate. Not when your life hung in the balance.
With a steely resolve, Seungcheol pushed open the door, bracing himself for the unknown. But what greeted him was far from the worst nightmare he had imagined. Mingyu lay on the floor, wounded, while you stood beside him, gun in hand, your eyes reflecting a mixture of relief and urgency.
Beside you stood Seungkwan, your baker, his expression mirroring yours as he held his own weapon tightly. Seungcheol's mind reeled at the sight, trying to process the unexpected turn of events unfolding before him.
As your eyes met his, you wasted no time in rushing to his side, gripping his hand firmly and gesturing for him to follow. Seungcheol's confusion gave way to a deep sense of trust in you, and he followed your lead without hesitation, his instincts telling him that you knew what needed to be done.
"We're just gonna leave Seungkwan?" Seungcheol's voice trembled with uncertainty as he glanced back at the injured baker.
You nodded reassuringly, motioning for him to get into the car while you took the driver's seat. Seungcheol's mind was spinning with questions as he settled into the passenger seat. Since when could you drive? It was just one of the many revelations that tonight had brought.
As you drove with determination, Seungcheol's thoughts raced, trying to make sense of the whirlwind of events. How had you survived? How had you managed to shoot Mingyu? And why was Seungkwan there?
Lost in his thoughts, Seungcheol barely registered your voice as you spoke beside him. He turned to you, his eyes filled with a mixture of disbelief and concern. "You okay, baby?" you asked, your words cutting through the chaos in his mind.
Seungcheol was taken aback. Wasn't it supposed to be his line, reassuring you that everything would be okay now that he had saved you from Mingyu? But the roles seemed to have reversed, leaving him bewildered and uncertain.
You guided Seungcheol to a building, and he followed you inside, his senses on high alert. Once you were safely indoors, Seungcheol pulled you into his embrace, relief flooding through him as he held you close.
"I'm glad you're fine," he whispered, his voice barely above a murmur, feeling the tension drain from his body.
You chuckled softly, your breath warm against his chest. "Didn't I say it on the phone call that I'll be fine?" you murmured, tightening the hug as if to reassure him once more.
Seungcheol couldn't help but smile at your words, but his curiosity gnawed at him. "What happened?" he asked, his tone gentle yet demanding, a silent plea for the truth.
And as you began to explain, Seungcheol realized that he wasn't the only one with secrets.
*
"Welcome to Sweetie..." Your cheerful voice faded once you realized who had entered your shop. Your former superior, Hong Jisoo, and your colleague Seungkwan stood there, exuding an air of calm and collected confidence. It was clear from their composed demeanor that they had expected to find you here.
"It's been a long time, Agent Sweet," Director Hong said, smiling as he took a seat at one of the tables.
You were relieved that the shop was empty, with Jun out on an errand to the market, getting your weekly stock filled. The timing, at least, was fortunate.
You sighed, maintaining a polite smile. "Is there any sweet that you prefer? We have the viral Cromboloni here," you said, trying to keep up the pretense of normalcy, as if he wasn’t someone you had worked with for half of your life.
Seungkwan walked to the door and flipped the open sign to closed. You opened the drawer under the cashier machine, reaching for the box inside where your gun was stored. Jisoo cleared his throat and signaled Seungkwan to join him.
"Can we have two Americanos and two of those Cromboloni, please?" Jisoo asked, his tone deceptively casual.
You silently took your gun and tucked it into your apron pocket. Noting their order, you began to prepare the coffees and desserts. As you placed the desserts in the microwave, the reflection in the microwave's door showed Seungkwan moving towards you. Reacting instantly, you dropped the dessert, pulled out your gun, and pointed it directly at his forehead.
The sight made Jisoo smile with satisfaction. "Still got those instincts, Y/n," he remarked, standing up from his seat. He gently lowered your gun from Seungkwan's forehead. "Let's not make a mess. Your boyfriend wouldn't like it."
Your gaze shifted to Jisoo, eyes narrowing. "You've been tracking my boyfriend?"
Jisoo shrugged nonchalantly. "He's not exactly hard to find. A bit popular, isn't he?"
There was a pregnant silence before Jisoo finally confessed the true reason for their visit. "We want you to come back," he started. "Our team needs you. We’ve been in a state of emergency since you left."
You put your gun back into your pocket, then bent down to clean up the dessert you had dropped. "You’re the only person who knows why I’m not coming back, Director Hong," you said, your voice laced with frustration.
Jisoo sighed and gestured for Seungkwan to sit back at the table while he spoke to you. "Listen, Y/n, we all need you. The country needs you. You were in the field for 15 years. You’re the only one who can do this."
"Why? Why am I the only one?" you demanded, standing up and looking Jisoo directly in the eyes.
"Because you’re S.Coups's lover," Jisoo reasoned.
You sighed, "That's the exact reason I left this job," you whispered, ensuring Seungkwan couldn't overhear your conversation.
Two years ago, you were assigned to investigate Yoon Jeonghan, a man rumored to be running the largest illegal weapons industry. This bakery was a front, strategically placed near their operations. During your investigation, you discovered that Yoon Jeonghan was just a right-hand man. Then you met Seungcheol, who frequented your bakery a little too often. He asked for your number and managed to distract you from your mission. Soon, you learned that Yoon Jeonghan worked for Choi Seungcheol, the real S.Coups.
You were assigned to capture them, but you refused and left the job before officially dating Seungcheol. Despite leaving the agency, you sensed someone was still spying on you. Boo Seungkwan, your junior, had been watching you under Jisoo’s orders..
"We don't want S.Coups," Jisoo exclaimed. "We need Klinok." He began to explain, his voice grave. "Klinok has been taking over the industry for years, and if they get their hands on weapons, we'll be in big trouble."
"Klinok has been targeting S.Coups since earlier this year. We need to save him; he has the critical data we need to bring Klinok down."
You were baffled by the revelation. "Are you serious?" you asked Jisoo, your mind racing.
Jisoo nodded solemnly. "That's why I said you're the only one who can do this."
"Seungkwan will help you. He'll apply as a baker here. He's quite good at it," Jisoo added, glancing at Seungkwan.
Seungkwan scoffed, "Excuse me, I'm not 'quite good.' I'm very good at baking."
Jisoo chuckled before turning his focus back to you. "It's your choice, Y/n."
You stood there, weighing your options. The peaceful life you had carved out was slipping away, replaced by the dangerous world you had tried to leave behind. But if Seungcheol was in danger and you had the power to help, how could you refuse?
Taking a deep breath, you looked Jisoo in the eye. "Alright, I'll do it. But remember, Seungcheol's safety is my top priority."
Jisoo nodded, a look of relief washing over his face. "Understood. We'll do everything we can to protect him."
You glanced at Seungkwan, who gave you a reassuring nod. "Guess we're in this together, then," you said, a determined glint in your eye.
*
"Baby..." Seungcheol brushed a strand of hair away from your face as he listened to your explanation, his voice barely above a whisper. He struggled to process all the revelations. "So you knew I was hiding my work from you?" he asked, feeling a pang of guilt.
You nodded, reaching for his hand. "It's not like I wasn't hiding something either. So we're even," you said with a gentle smile, trying to ease his heavy heart.
He pulled you into his embrace again, rubbing your back and whispering, "I'm just glad you're okay. That could have been so dangerous, baby..."
You chuckled softly. "I've been doing this for half of my life, love. Danger is nothing new to me."
"Still," he insisted, "what if Mingyu had done something to you?"
You smiled at his concern and pecked his lips. "It was anticipated. Kim Mingyu has been working with Klinok for a long time, and he's been seen around my bakery this month. He was definitely trying to get to you by using me."
Seungcheol cupped your cheeks, rubbing them softly. He kissed your forehead with so much affection before pulling you into another embrace. "Thank you for saving me," he said, his voice filled with emotion. "And I'm sorry that I've been hiding all of this."
You held him tightly, feeling the warmth of his body against yours. "We're in this together now," you whispered. "No more secrets."
He nodded, resting his chin on your head. "No more secrets," he echoed, his voice resolute.
In that moment, despite the chaos and uncertainty, you both felt a sense of peace. You had each other, and that was all that mattered. Together, you could face anything.
Ring
"That must be Seungkwan," Seungcheol said, pulling away and ending the make-out session you were enjoying before the night could end.
You groaned and picked up the call. "Agent Sweet speaking," you answered, your tone clearly upset. Seungkwan could easily detect your annoyance.
"Klinok is on his way to the harbor. He expects Kim Mingyu in an hour. Let's catch him," Seungkwan informed you, and you immediately ended the call.
"I'm sorry, baby. But work is calling," you mumbled while buttoning up your shirt and ensuring you had your weapon and necessary gear.
Seungcheol watched you from the couch, a smile playing on his lips. "You look hot like this," he remarked.
You smiled back, "Baby," you called him, "I look hot whether I'm wearing an apron or carrying a gun." You leaned in and kissed him on the lips.
"I'll be back. Wait for me, okay?" you said, your voice filled with determination and affection.
Seungcheol nodded, his eyes filled with pride and concern. "Be careful," he whispered, knowing that you were about to step into a dangerous situation, but also knowing that there was no one more capable than you.
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scary-grace · 2 months ago
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if my heart was a house - a shigaraki x f!reader fic
It's been nineteen years since Tomura was sentenced to death, and you've built a life in the space he left behind, braced each day for the worst. You're prepared for everything - the questions your daughter asks, the memories that sting a little more in the winter, the specter of the news you've been afraid of for years. But of all the things life's thrown your way, it's the one you haven't dared to hope for might be the one thing you can't handle. (cross-posted to Ao3) The prequel can be found here: what I can't remember now written for @pixelcafe-network's Challenge Friday event! Banner/divider by @cafekitsune
Chapter 1 Chapter 2
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Chapter 1
You know even before you open your eyes that it’s snowed overnight. The world always sounds too quiet afterwards, and you used to have so many words to describe it – almost comforting, almost eerie, almost serene. But that was when you were young. Now you’d replace all those words with a different one: Empty. You used to love the winter, the first snowfall of the year, and you still do. But it always reminds you of him. And he’s gone.
He’s been gone for years now. The length of time you spent with him has been swallowed six times over by the time you’ve spent alone, and you’d like to think that even in the beginning, you wore your sadness well. Now, nineteen years in, it barely shows. You keep it buried through spring, summer, autumn – until the first frost, the first freezing rain, the first icicles on the eaves and the first drifts of snow on the ground, when it crawls free of the grave and sprawls on top of you at night. You met Tomura in the winter. Fell in love with him by spring. You got two more winters with him after that, and then he was gone, and nothing can fill the space he left behind.
But even if one chamber of your heart is frozen open for good, the rest is still alive. And there’s room for a different kind of love, a way for you to translate your grief rather than buckle beneath its weight. There’s a knock at the door to your room, and your daughter’s voice slips cautiously in. “Mom? Are you awake?”
“I’m awake,” you say, and you blink away the tears. “Come in.”
Even at eighteen, Chihiro still hesitates before she steps across the threshold, but once she’s made the choice, she throws herself onto the bed with abandon. “We got half a meter. That’s even more than the forecast said.”
“And we’ve still got power. Lucky us.” You wipe your eyes, just in case, and turn to face her. “Good morning, kiddo.”
“How long do I have to be kiddo? I’m almost done with high school.”
“Okay, you’re right,” you compromise, even as your throat tightens. She’s never met her father, never will, but the tone in her voice when she’s putting her foot down reminds you painfully of him. “What should I call you instead?”
“My name. You’re the one who picked it out.” Chihiro’s dressed in her pajamas with a hoodie thrown over them, and you can see her phone lighting up through the front pocket. “Don’t you like it anymore?”
“I love it,” you say, “Chihiro. Did you sleep okay?”
She nods. There’s something on her mind. You can tell by the way her brow furrows, and the way her mouth thins tells you that she’s planning to keep it quiet. Or that she’ll try. Chihiro has a hard time keeping her feelings inside. She and Tomura have that in common, but while you always gave Tomura space to figure out how to say what he needed to, you always let Chihiro know you’re aware, and listening. “What’s going on up there, Chihiro, my daughter who’s almost done with high school?”
She rolls her eyes, but a smile is pulling up the corner of her mouth. Her smile’s always been a little lopsided, but so has yours. “There’s only one morning of the year you ever sleep in,” she says. “The first time it snows. And then you’re different all day – not mad or depressed or anything. Just different. I was wondering why.”
“I’m sorry,” you say at once. “I’m not upset with you. It’s not anything you did. You could never do anything that would –”
“I know, Mom.” Chihiro’s crimson eyes are intent on your face. “It’s one day. You get to be weird if you need to. I just wanted to know – is it because of him? My dad?”
When she was little, you’d lie, and tell her the snow is so pretty that you can’t help but get emotional about it. There was a while where she didn’t ask. But she’s old enough now that you can admit it. You think. “Yeah,” you say. Your voice is steady. You’re proud of that. “This is around the time of year when I first met him. It brings back memories.”
“Good ones?” Chihiro settles into the pillows the way she used to when she wanted a bedtime story. “Tell me.”
You hesitate. “Not the gross stuff,” Chihiro clarifies. “I don’t want to know about that. Kaori’s mom tells her all about that stuff. And she bought her a vibrator for her birthday.”
“Huh,” you say after a second. “That’s sex-positive of her.”
“You’re being nice. What do you really think?”
You think she reminds you of Tomura. He never let you duck behind the niceties; he always wanted to know your real reaction. “I think it’s weird. Especially if Kaori didn’t ask.”
“She definitely didn’t. She’s really shy.” Chihiro grimaces. “I’m glad you’re not weird like that.”
Not weird is a good thing. Maybe. “You know I’m here if you need to talk about –”
“No, Mom. Gross.” Chihiro buries her face in the pillow. “Tell me about my dad.”
“Okay,” you say. “Your dad. He, um – there was something about him. I never met someone like him before, and I haven’t since. He told the truth about stuff, even if it wasn’t pretty, and he said what he thought even if it was a bad time. One time we went on a double date with one of his friends and their new boyfriend, and the first question out of your dad’s mouth was whether the boyfriend had drawn his facial hair on.”
Chihiro wheezes. “That’s awful,” she says, but she’s laughing – just like you were. “Had he, though?”
“We never got an answer,” you say, and Chihiro laughs harder. “Your dad could be a jackass sometimes, even to people he liked, but when it really mattered, he’d –”
Kill for them. You swallow the words. “He was there for people when they needed him,” you say instead. “He was always there for me. Even if he didn’t know the right thing to say, I could count on him to listen. And he never gave me a hard time for standing up for myself. Not even when we argued about things.”
You were sort of a pushover early on. You were worried that saying no would make you difficult, and being difficult would make him want to leave. It wasn’t how you were most of the time, or how you’d been before you and Tomura got together, and he wasn’t scared to call you out. You remember the grin on his face the first time you really put your foot down about something, set a boundary and held it. I knew you were in there somewhere, he said. This is how I like you.
That was something you loved about being with Tomura: You were good for each other. You made each other better. “It sounds like you were happy,” Chihiro ventures, and you nod. “Do you think you’d have gotten married sometime? Did you guys want kids?”
Married, maybe. Your friends and his all used to joke that the two of you were the old married couple of the group, but while you talked about the future, you almost never talked about marriage to go with it. Not until it was almost the end, and you never made it to the discussion, any discussion, about having kids. Your pregnancy was catastrophic because of what happened before it, but even if it hadn’t been, it would have raised a lot of questions that neither you nor Tomura knew how to answer. “We were really young,” you say. “I was only twenty-two. We hadn’t had that talk yet. But I think we’d have talked about it if –”
“Yeah.” Chihiro’s voice is muffled by the pillows. “Did he know about me? Before he died?”
Your stomach clenches in a tight, guilty cramp, one that’s been getting steadily worse over the years. “I didn’t find out until after he was gone.”
“Oh.” Chihiro’s voice goes small and wavering. “Do you think – um – do you think he would have liked me?”
There’s no way to know. That means what you say next isn’t technically a lie. “He would have loved you,” you say. Her shoulders shake, and you rest your hand on her back to settle her, the same as you’ve done since she was a baby. “Just like I do.”
Chihiro turns her head to look at you, her eyes glassy with tears. “Sorry.”
“No, it’s okay. Everything’s okay.” You rub her back in slow circles. “Ask about him whenever you want. I’ll always try to answer.”
“Do you miss him?”
Other than your daughter’s ragged breathing and your own steady, shallow sips of air, there’s no sound in the world. When you open up the blinds, you’ll see an empty snowfield, unmarked by human footprints for a little while longer. Footprints in the snow will be filled in by the next storm or melted away in the thaw, but the marks Tomura left on you are indelible. There will never be room for someone else where he stood, because he’s still standing there, somewhere you can’t reach.
Sometimes you’ve thought, selfishly, that it would be easier if he really was dead, just so you wouldn’t have to cope with knowing that he’s still out there, knowing exactly where he is with no way to get to him. You’ve let Chihiro think he’s dead. You tell yourself it’s easier for her this way. It’s better that she doesn’t know what really happened to Tomura. The fact that you know is bad enough.
“Mom?” Chihiro asks, and you realize you never answered her question. “Do you still miss my dad?”
You still love him. That’s the same thing. “I do,” you say. “Every day.”
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Chihiro cries herself out, and then it’s time to get moving. Her school has a late start, not a snow day, and you still have to go to work. You make a special breakfast anyway, play the music you and she used to dance to when she was little, and soon your daughter’s smiling again. Chihiro doesn’t have trouble being happy, not like you and Tomura both did. Still do, probably. Your depression was just that, but the sheer weight of Tomura’s past regularly threatened to crush him, and you doubt the nineteen years he’s already spent in prison have done anything to improve things.
But Chihiro knows how to be happy, and you know, because she tells you when she’s not. You’re not naive enough to think your teenager tells you everything, but she knows she can talk to you. And she does talk to you, getting steadily back to herself as you eat breakfast and clean up and get ready, her for school, you for work. Then the two of you crunch your way to the car and start digging it out of the snow. The snowplows must have been out last night and early this morning, because the road doesn’t have much in the way of accumulation. You’ll have to be careful of ice.
You’re both a little sweaty under your winter coats when you get in the car at last. “I’m already gross,” Chihiro complains. “Why can’t we get a garage or something?”
“Where would we put it?”
“In your room,” Chihiro says. You snort. “Or in mine. Since I’m going to uni soon.”
Your heart sinks whenever she says that, but you’ll be damned before you let it show. “You’ll still need somewhere to stay when you come back,” you say. “Maybe we don’t really need a kitchen.”
Chihiro rolls her eyes. “What? You’re not planning to turn my room into, like, a sewing room or something once I go to school?”
"No," you say. "My parents did that when I went away. I hated it."
Looking back, you took it way too personally. They weren’t saying they were done with you, or that the place you’d grown up wasn’t home anymore. You were just hurting, and looking desperately for a reason why. Coming back on school break to find your room cleaned out was a good one. “I’m not going to do that,” you say to Chihiro.“Even when you live somewhere else, you’ll always have a place with me.”
Chihiro glances sideways at you. “Kaori’s mom is freaking about her moving away.”
“Kaori’s mom freaks out a lot,” you say. You and she should have bonded, because you’re the only single moms in this small town, but Kaori’s mom makes you nervous. “How does Kaori feel about it?”
“Her mom will be fine. She’s not worried.” Chihiro pauses for a long moment. “I am, though.”
Your grip on the steering wheel goes white-knuckled. “About Kaori’s mom?”
“About you,” Chihiro says. You reach a stop sign, come to a full stop, and turn to look at her. There’s a stubborn set to her jaw that’s all too familiar. “Kaori’s mom is crazy. But Kaori’s mom has a life. She goes out some nights and her friends come to visit and she has parties and hobbies —“
“I have hobbies,” you protest.
“Yeah. Your hobby means you hang out in the house all day,” Chihiro says. “You can't carry your sewing machine and all your fabric to a craft party. Maybe if you learned to knit or something —“
“I’m not going to knit.”
“Something,” Chihiro says firmly. “Something that means you’re not alone all the time. I’m excited to go to uni. I’m worried about what’s going to happen to you when I leave.”
You’ve fucked up, big-time. “Chihiro, I understand why you —“ No, you don’t. All you understand is that you were stupid to think your damage didn’t show, awful for making Chihiro think she has any responsibility for your mess of an internal life at all. “It’s not your job to make sure I’m okay. I can take care of myself.”
“It’s not about taking care of yourself,” Chihiro fires back. “It’s about being happy. You want me to be happy, right?”
“Of course I do,” you say. “I love you.”
“I love you, Mom.” Chihiro says it bluntly, unashamedly. “So I want you to be happy, too.”
You don’t know what to say. It’s quiet, and it keeps being quiet, until a car pulls up behind you and honks its horn. You refocus on driving in a hurry. With you distracted, Chihiro pushes the point. “You barely even talk to people, Mom. Kaori’s mom thinks you hate her because you never say yes when she asks to hang out.”
“I don’t hate her,” you say. Chihiro’s skeptical look skewers you to the seat. “Look, she’s just not — it’s complicated.”
“No it’s not,” Chihiro says. “Next time she asks to hang out, say yes.”
No. “What if I sign up for an art class at the community center instead?”
“Do that, too,” Chihiro says. You grimace. “You want me to be happy. I’ll be happy if I know you’re talking to other people and doing stuff that’s not in the house. I don’t want to come back on a school break and find out you’ve only been talking to the trees or something.”
She pauses. “I guess you can talk to them a little. As long as you don’t start thinking they talk back.”
“Got it.”
You drop Chihiro off at school less than a minute before the bell rings, but she still makes you get out of the car and hug her. She hugs really tight. She got that from you. Tomura used to complain jokingly that you were a boa constrictor in a girlfriend suit. You kiss her forehead and send her on her way, then get back in the car and drive to work, feeling even worse than you did when you opened your eyes to a snowy silence this morning.
Chihiro’s wrong about Kaori’s mom. It is complicated — not because you hate her, but because she’s the nosiest person in town, and because you’ve got a lot to hide. You didn’t mean to have a lot to hide. It was just something that happened, and as the years since Tomura’s conviction have unfolded, you’ve gotten steadily more attached to the lie. It’s not about you. It’s about Chihiro, who shouldn’t have to live with the knowledge that her father’s a convicted murderer awaiting execution in supermax prison, who shouldn’t have to deal with people looking at her differently. It’s about Chihiro. It’s not about you.
Or so you tell yourself. But there’s a reason you fled from Tokyo in the aftermath of Tomura’s sentencing, why you cut off contact with his friends and yours, why you dyed your hair and changed your phone number and nuked your social media along with every email address you ever had. People hated Tomura. And because you were with him, they hated you, too. It didn’t matter that you knew nothing. That the murders he was accused of committing took place before you met him. Even if you’d dumped him the second he was arrested, you’d have been called stupid for not seeing it all along. You couldn’t hack it. You were headed for a breakdown at high speed. But you would have stayed, if Tomura hadn’t told you to go.
The last time you spoke to him was after his sentencing, as they were taking him away. You seized his hands, already cuffed, his wrists chafed raw, and for a split second, he held on so tightly that one of your fingers broke. Then he looked up, hopeless fury in his eyes. Get out of here. Don’t come back. I don’t want you to watch.
You thought he meant he didn’t want you to watch him being shoved into an armored truck for transport, but when your letters came back unopened, when he refused to let you visit or even call him, you realized the truth. He wanted you gone, just as completely as he was gone from you. That moment in the courtroom was the last one you’d ever have with him. And that was what tripped the breakdown at last. You were throwing up too much to overdose and you were too chicken to try another way, so you went to the doctor to figure it out so you could kill yourself with your chosen method. You just wanted anti-nausea pills. The doctor did bloodwork, made you give a urine sample, and gave you a diagnosis.
“Hyperemesis gravidarum,” he said, and you looked at him blankly. “You’re pregnant.”
He expected you to get an abortion. Everybody and their mother probably expected you to get an abortion. If Tomura had been there, if your accidental pregnancy had been something the two of you were dealing with together, it probably wouldn’t have even been a question. And for any other pregnancy, it would have been the only viable option in your mind. But when you thought about it, about this pregnancy, your mind rejected the idea so violently that you threw up again. You couldn’t get rid of this baby. You needed it. Looking back, you know your reasons were terrible. You had a kid so you wouldn’t be alone. So you’d keep some memory of Tomura close to you always. So you’d have a reason to keep getting up in the morning, a reason to eat and sleep and exercise, a reason to find a new job in your new town and work hard at it. So someone would need you. So you could do something with your agony at losing Tomura, grab it with both hands and twist it back into love. Deciding to have the baby was the most selfish thing you’ve ever done. And raising Chihiro, loving her, is the most important thing you’ll ever do.
She’s right about you. You do live for her. And if that means signing up for a pottery class at the community center and agreeing to grab tea with Kaori’s crazy mom so she won’t worry, that’s what you’ll do.
You work in the combined billing/records/HR department at your town’s medical clinic, with occasional ventures to the front desk when a receptionist is out sick. You spend a lot of time staring at the computer, a lot of time on the phone, and very little time talking to your coworkers — but you’ve been here for seventeen years, longer than almost anyone else. You were working here before some of your coworkers were out of primary school.
Dr. Kawada is your age, though. He greets you as you walk in. “Glad you made it. Anybody who lives past the town limits is staying home.”
“They should. The roads are terrible even with the plows out.” You hang up your coat, then sit down and power up your computer. “How many patients do you think we’ll get?”
“We have a ton of cancelations already,” Keiko, the nurse-practitioner, reports. She would be the one to make it in — Kawada would crawl here with his teeth if he had to, and she’s his wife, so of course she tagged along. “And there was a call for you, bright and early.”
“For billing? Somebody must have been losing sleep.”
“Not for billing. For you,” Keiko admonishes. “I forwarded it to your phone. It seemed kind of urgent.”
You log into your computer, then decide to check the message while you’re waiting for it to perk up. The voice on the other end of the line is completely unfamiliar. “Hi there. My name is Midoriya Izuku, and I’m a lawyer with the —" There’s a really loud sound on the other end of the line, completely obliterating whatever he was about to tell you about the organization he’s part of. “Due to confidentiality I can’t share much over the phone, but it’s really important that I get in touch with you! Please call me back to arrange a meeting —“
You hang up and delete the message. You don’t like lawyers, and this guy sounds like he has prosecutor written all over him. Or else he’s a reporter lying to you about his credentials to trick you into giving him a quote. The twenty-year anniversary of Tomura’s conviction is coming up, and there were articles at the ten-year mark, too. You’re more concerned about how this Midoriya Izuku got your number in the first place. You’re not easy to find. You made yourself tough to find on purpose.
It’s a quiet day at the office. Almost all the appointments are canceled, which means that the walk-ins get seen almost immediately, and you have time to start on your end-of-the-year reports. And time to talk, because Keiko and Dr. Kawada are in talkative moods, and you’re the best and only target. “How’s Chihiro?” Keiko asks. “Has she picked a school?”
“Not yet. Still weighing her options,” you say. And then, because you’re tired: “She’s worried about what will happen to me once she leaves.”
“Tell her not to worry. We’ll take care of you!” Dr. Kawada says with a grin. “What’s she worried about, anyway? You seem fine.”
“I am fine. But I’m signing up for an art class so she’ll stop worrying that I’m going to wither away alone,” you say. Dr. Kawada snorts. “How I’m doing isn’t her responsibility. She didn’t ask to be born and I didn’t have her so she could take care of me.”
“Nobody thinks that,” Keiko says. She gives you a weird look, but then she changes the subject. “Hey, but even once she moves out, you don’t have to be alone! Me and Shogo know lots of people we want to set you up with!”
You’re pretty sure your face goes dead white. “What?”
“I mean, I know you haven’t been seeing anyone since you moved here —"
“Because it’s not about me anymore. It’s about Chihiro.”
“Yeah, but if it’s about Chihiro, shouldn’t you want her not to worry?” Kawada’s not helping. You feel like you might be sick. “I moved here right around when you did and I’ve never seen you date anybody. Things must have gone down real bad with your ex —"
“Shogo!” Keiko swats him, mortified, then looks at you. “Sorry. He should know better.”
“Chihiro’s dad isn’t my ex,” you say. “He’s — gone.”
It’s the same trick you’ve been pulling on Chihiro since she was old enough to ask, and it works on adults, too. Kawada backs off, chagrined. “Sorry,” he says. There’s an awkward silence. “I’ve known you for seventeen years. How did I miss that?”
“I don’t like to talk about it.” You don’t even like thinking about Tomura, but every winter, it’s unavoidable. Every winter the sadness curls up around you, and although time is supposed to heal things, it’s never gotten any easier to throw off come spring. “I wouldn’t wish it on anybody.”
“Yeah,” Keiko agrees. Her eyes are sad. “Still. Tell Chihiro not to worry. We’ll keep an eye on you.”
You force a smile, force your eyes to brighten. “Thank you.”
It’s the clinic’s slowest day in a while, and you spend a lot of it screwing around on the computer. You sign up for an art class, one that meets the same night as Chihiro’s choir practice, so you can pick her up on the way home. You google therapists, too — maybe she’ll feel better if she knows you have one. And maybe you need one. Chihiro’s your daughter, the most important person in the world, the one you’d sacrifice everything to care for. Caring for her takes up most of your thoughts, distracts you from the pain of losing Tomura. Once Chihiro goes away for school, there won’t be anything left to keep your sadness at bay.
Tomura’s been on death row for nineteen years. They could execute him at any time, and you’d never know until his name was released by the government. During his trial, when you realized the death penalty was on the table, you looked up how it would happen. It still haunts you sometimes. You don’t want to think of Tomura with his neck broken, his eyes open and staring, dying with feet chained together and his hands bound behind his back. You want to remember him before it all went wrong. Back when you still believed he was the best thing that ever happened to you.
You met him at university, on a day when the campus was iced over. Your on-campus job started early, which meant you had to make your way to the library on paths that wouldn’t be de-iced for another hour. Tomura had an early class. He was headed the opposite way from you, and you were both so focused on not slipping and falling that you walked headlong into each other and fell on your asses anyway.
Your backpack slid from your shoulders, and the papers Tomura was carrying scattered across the path. Fuck, Tomura said, with feeling, and you laughed. What’s so funny? You fell down, too.
I know, but — An image popped into your head and set you off all over again. We look like we’re in a cartoon. Except without the stars and planets around our heads.
No stars and planets? I want a refund, Tomura said, and cracked a smile that opened up a split in his lower lip. Damn it —
Here. You retrieved your fallen backpack and a packet of tissues, then started gathering the papers Tomura had dropped. Sorry. It looked like you were in a hurry to go somewhere.
Comp-Sci building. I’m never signing up for a 7am again. Tomura’s phone buzzed, and he yanked it out of his pocket. And now it’s canceled. Motherfucker. I have to walk all the way back —
Maybe not all the way, you said, and he looked at you. I work at the library. It’s definitely open. You can hang out there until they get the paths salted.
Tomura looked at you, the tissue still pressed to his bloody lip. You didn’t know his name yet, didn’t know anything about him, but there was something you liked about his face. Something you liked about how he still got in on your joke, even though he was pissed about the fall. Something about the fact that he hadn’t gotten up yet, even though you’d gathered all his papers and were holding them out for him to take. I’ll level with you, he said after a second. I’ve never been to the library.
I get that a lot, you said, and you stood up. The plan was to hold out your hand to help him up, but you moved too fast, and your feet slid out from under you again. You managed to hang on to Tomura’s papers, but you went down hard. Fuck!
Tomura didn’t ask if you were okay. He just lifted the papers out of your hands, set them aside, and helped you sit up with hands that shook ever so slightly. I’m surprised you swore, he said, and you raised an eyebrow. You look like the type who says fiddlesticks instead.
Fuck off, you said, and he laughed. Making him laugh felt like an achievement, one you were proud to win. Looking back, that was when you knew you were in trouble. Maybe we should just crawl to the library.
It’s cold. Walking’s faster. Tomura got shakily to his knees, then his feet, and you copied him. I bet we can make it.
He stumbled twice on the way there, and you stumbled once, but neither of you fell again. You were leaning on each other to balance, more contact than you ever made with guys you weren’t dating, and nothing about it felt tense or awkward. It was just the only thing that made sense to do.
And that’s how everything was with Tomura. It just made sense, and you were so happy — and you think Tomura was, too. You fought sometimes, sure, but everyone does. Sometimes you didn’t know the right thing to say, but neither did he. He had a rough past, and you didn’t push him to talk about it. You just let him share what he wanted to, when he wanted to, and towards the end you had something close to the whole picture. It just didn’t have the murders in it.
No. You don’t want to think about this. You know what you believe about this, and going in a circle won’t help solve anything. You decide to redirect your feelings of frustration by looking up the lawyer who called you. Sure enough, he’s a prosecutor— or he was. Looking at the profile on his law firm’s website, you’re not sure what he does. He was in the news a year or so ago. Some case involving the yakuza.
The bell rings, and since Keiko’s on break and the receptionist got snowed in, you hurry up to the front to check the new patient in. It’s a good distraction. It helps to stay busy. When you’re busy, you don’t have to think about any of it — not Tomura, not the fact that he’s gone, not the fact that your daughter is leaving soon, too. And you don’t have to think about how it won’t be long before all your distractions run out.
Chapter 2 ->
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phoenixkaptain · 1 year ago
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I love Luke who is beloved by his students, but I also, at the exact same time, love Luke who is feared by his students.
Master Skywalker whose reputation precedes him. The galaxy as a whole believes that he killed Darth Vader and the Emperor both. The tales say he faced them both, entirely alone, and then got out unscathed.
Master Skywalker who floats through the halls, appearing like a specter, invisible to all but the most proficient at finding Force signatures. He speaks to Jedi of old and meditates unmovingly for hours and his stare pierces through to the soul of whoever receives it.
Sometimes, Master Skywalker vanishes into thin air without a trace. His students either find themselves faced with Leia Organa, a fearful person in her own right, an older student, or some random, wandering Jedi that rumours have claimed to be long dead. Master Skywalker vanishes and reappears without explanation, only offering a smile when asked where he was, his responses always vague.
Master Skywalker who is always fully covered, only one hand remaining bare. Nobody has ever seen him look disheveled. Nobody has ever been able to catch him unaware. Whenever anybody knocks on his door, no matter what time it is, he is always sitting in pristine robes, ready to scare off any troubles that find his students.
Just. Master Skywalker who once faced a black hole and won. Master Skywalker who killed a rancor. Master Skywalker who blew up the first Death Star. The most terrifying man in the galaxy, and he’s only more mysterious the more time one spends around him.
The comedic potential of this scenario is unparalled.
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kinda-super-hot · 5 months ago
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I Want More. (2)
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3
Pairing: Harvey Specter x F!Lawyer!Reader - friends to enemies to lovers <3
Part 2 Summary: Well, (Y/n)'s first day doesn't go as she had planned. She learns that she is office neighbors with Harvey Douchebag Specter. Luckily, she makes quite a few gal pals + Louis. Harvey brings her what might be a peace offering, and she learns they will be working closer together than she thought.
Warnings: overthinking - I think that's it but if you noticed something I missed, please let me know.
Word Count: 4038
I wake up from my first night in my new apartment to the sound of busy traffic and honking horns outside. “Blegh...” I mutter and force myself out of bed. Today’s the day- My first day on the job! “Ok, time to get hype.”
I hop to the bathroom and poke at my eyebags for a moment before doing light, office appropriate makeup. I’d picked my outfit out the night before and I had to squeal just at the sight of it laying on the bed. A hot pink dress shirt that I planned to leave more than a few buttons undone towards the top- just enough to not get written up! And a black pencil skirt for the shirt to get tucked into with some pointy, black pumps.
The way I see it, this is my first impression, and I need them to know not only do I mean business but I’m bold.
I take my time curling my hair and even make myself an egg to really soak up my morning. And finally, just as my toast pops up, I snatch it and walk out the door with my thin suitcase.
It’s a short walk towards the firm and I can’t keep the smile off my face. I beam at people walking in the opposite direction and occasionally get a smile back! Nothing could ruin this perfect morning. My optimism was not prepared for me to glance towards the building and catch sight of a familiar face, however.
 Time slowed, but my heart sure didn’t. Across the street and right in front of my new place of work was Harvey Douchebag Specter getting out of a limousine. I stopped in my tracks and let out an audible gasp.
I watch him walk until he disappears into Pearson Hardman. What. The. Fuck.
Ok, ok, don’t panic. He’s probably from another firm and just has a meeting with another lawyer. All I have to do is keep my head held high. Obviously, also actively avoid him if I see him, but otherwise, pretend I never saw him.
I take a deep breath and keep walking. My heart is RACING, but I won’t let him ruin this for me.
I walk through the glass doors and don’t see him. Good, he must have gone up already. I waste no time introducing myself to the lobby ladies, taking my employee picture, and getting my newly printed employee ID.
Ok, everything is going fine. We’re alright. I scan my keycard and make my way to the elevator. “(Y/N) (L/N)!” Shit.
I turn around, but thankfully, it’s a new face. “I thought that was you.” A beautiful, confident black woman glides over to me. She reaches her hand out, and I shake it with a smile, despite not knowing this lady. “Jessica Pearson.”
“Oh!” A real smile takes over my face and I shake her hand more enthusiastically. “It is so good to finally meet you. I must say, my first impression of the firm: very impressive.” I’m saying the absolute truth, but I also want to smooth talk her. “I’m thrilled to be working here, Ms. Pearson.”
She releases my hand and smiles at me, but her eyes say something different. I can tell that she’s a great lawyer just by this first encounter. Her face is warm and inviting but her piercing gaze says mischief in big, bold letters. “I’m glad to hear it. I have a very busy morning ahead of me, so one of our Junior Associates will be giving you the tour.” She looks over my shoulder and I turn to see a mousey, stout looking man. “This is Louis Litt. You will be working closely together on the same floor with both myself and one of our Senior Partners.”
I smile at Louis and reach my hand out, he beams at me, “Nice to meet you, Mr. Litt. I can’t wait to be working with you.” Once again, I try to flatter the person in front of me.
His smile grows wider, and he looks to Jessica behind me before his eyes dart back to mine. “The pleasure’s all mine.” He hesitates to release my hand, and I inwardly laugh at his awkwardness. “We can start the tour right away.”
We all get into the elevator and instead of getting off at each floor and showing me around, Louis pulls out some papers from his pocket. “This is a list telling you exactly what you need to know about each and every floor. What they work on, who manages it, and the phone number for the head receptionist if you ever have any questions.” I take the stack of papers from his hands, and find they are heavier than they look.
“Oof, thank you.” I have to re-straighten my knees from the new weight just placed on them. Jessica raises her brow in Louis’s direction. I flip through some of the pages. Everything he said was on here plus more. Something tells me he wants to show me the type of guy he is by giving me this surplus of paper.
“You’re welcome. Though, you won’t really need to travel to other floors,” He comments, “that’s what the lacky associates are for.” He nudges me with his elbow and lets out a laugh. I do as well, more to keep the cramped space from being uncomfortable than actually finding it funny. Jessica rolls her eyes, and I am obsessed with her refusal to put on an act for him. “No,” he clears his throat, “most of your work will be done…here.”
The elevator doors open, and I’m met with familiar sounds of clicking away at computer keys and phones ringing. I smile and step out onto the floor instantly. It’s everything my old firm was, but better. More advanced, more colleagues, more in general. I let out a pumped-up, “Yes!” and punch the air as discreetly as I can.
Jessica takes over swiftly by saying, “There’s more.” We follow her down a long hallway and pass an office with Louis’s name on it as well as one with Jessica’s name until I see one with my name. There’s a corner office directly to the left of it but I don’t bother looking at the name, I found what I was looking for.
“Oh, wow.” I breathe out to the furnished office that still felt empty. “I can’t wait to put my own flare in here. I can see it now,” I throw my hands out from my sides and walk through the office, I think out loud, “A vintage end table would be so cute here, maybe a fancy vase on top with some fresh carnations...” I ponder.
Jessica hums from the doorway and I turn to see a new person has joined my entourage. “Sounds cute, I can tell we’re gonna be friends.” The new woman is much more relaxed than Jessica and Louis. She has voluptuous, orange hair and a charming smile. “I’m Donna. I work for your grumpy colleague on the other side of this wall.” She knocks on the conjoining wall.
“Nice to meet you, Donna! I’m (Y/N) (L/N).” I look over her outfit. “And by the look of those shoes, we’re going to be the best of friends.” I give her shoes a pointed look and we laugh together.
“Oh, we needed a girly like you in the office.” She squeezes my shoulder. “You let me know if you need anything, and I will get it done. I’ll be your temporary secretary up until you get too many clients and we have to hire someone new. Though, I’m sure it won’t be long with a personality like yours.” She flips her hair and walks out.
“I love her.” I breathe out and turn to Jessica. She smiles before her eyes glance just above my head.
“What great timing!” I turn around, ready to greet whoever else I’ll be working with. “(Y/N), this is our Senior Partner, Harvey Specter.” My smile drops as I look at his face. He’s changed. There are lines on his forehead that weren’t there before. He wasn’t scrawny anymore, either, he’d beefed up. His shoulder width was probably double the size of mine. But when my eyes met his, I knew it was most definitely the same Harvey. “Harvey, this is our new Junior Partner, Ms. (L/N).” We both freeze in shock, looking each other over, analyzing what might have changed.
Tension. Unbelievable tension fills the hall, and I’m sure everyone has stopped what they’re doing to watch our interaction. Harvey’s face, that is usually so great at hiding how he feels, is failing him. His mouth is slightly agape, and his brows are raised the smallest bit. His big, brown eyes widen the more he looks at me. Stunned is the only way to describe him, and that doesn’t even begin to cover it. Though, I’m sure I don’t look much better.
The silence becomes awkward. I clear my throat, “Nice to meet you, Mr. Specter.” I reach my hand out sharply and remove my gaze from him, preferring the wall. What am I doing?!  “I’m sure we’ll work great together.” My tone is curt, and I have the best smile I can muster on my face. I look him in the eyes once more, silently urging him to shake my hand.
He recovers and clears his throat as well before shaking my hand. “I can’t agree more.” Oh god. I roll my eyes and remove my hand from his grasp. “If you’ll excuse me.” His face is back to being unreadable as he turns and walks into the office right next to mine.
No- I read the name on the glass: Harvey Specter. I clench my jaw; I have to get through this. I turn my head back to Jessica. “Well, what’s next?”
_
I received the grand tour of the floor and was then told by Louis to make myself comfortable. The company’s top paralegal would come to speak with me as soon as she was available. I gave him a tight smile before sitting in my office very distressed. “Fuck.”
I want to close my blinds so I can peacefully bang my head into the wall without anyone seeing, but I don’t want to seem closed off. I wonder if I should sit here any longer and wallow in self-pity. “Fuck it.”
I get up from my very comfortable, very expensive chair and leave my office. I can’t help looking over my shoulder as I walk away from it to see if he is still in his office, but all I see is an empty chair. Ok, that means I need to be aware. He’s probably prowling around here somewhere…
“Are… you alright?” I stop surveying my surroundings when a younger man with blonde hair and a skinny necktie talks to me from his cubicle. “You’re, like, scowling at the entire bullpen.”
“Oh, I-I’m sorry.” I fix my face before walking to the man’s cubicle. “I swear I’m not an a-hole, I’m just…” I stop myself as I continue surveying. I need a confidante. I stare right into his soul and bend down so we’re on the same level. “Can I tell you something you will never ever tell anyone else in your entire life?”
He retreats back in his seat a little flabbergasted. “You know, confessing to murder in a law firm probably isn’t the best idea.” I smile at his joke, cool kid.
“Oh, it’s much, much worse.” I stand straight again and lean onto my right leg with my hip jutted out. I smirk as he raises a brow, “So, there’s this guy-”
“You just got here and you’re already talking about guys you’re into?” A tall, tan brunette asks me with sass. Her eyebrows are raised, and her smirk tells me she’s my type of people. “I’m Rachel, top paralegal.” She reaches her hand out.
I shake it, “I’m (Y/N) (L/N), the new Junior Partner.” I smile at her before turning back to the associate I was talking to. “Gosh, sorry! I never asked your name?”
“You were going to confess murder to me, and you didn’t even know my name?” His brows furrow and I roll my eyes jokingly.
“I needed a confidante!” I joke though it’s not really a joke. “Trust me, I’ve had a really odd first day.” I turn to Rachel, “Though, I think I’ve found your replacement.” I return my gaze to the kid. “Sorry it didn’t work out; I’ve just met my match.” I shrug and nod towards my office, Rachel follows behind me as I walk in.
She giggles behind me. “His name is Mike by the way.” I sit in my new, cool chair and let out an exasperated sigh. I motion her to sit across from me. “I’m not a counselor, by the way, but I totally support a girl who needs a quick rant sesh.” She jokingly grabs a writing pad from atop my desk and clicks a pen that was formerly behind her ear. “And, trust me, you are way better off with me than Mike.”
I smile at her thankfully. She says nothing but nods her head, waiting for me to start talking. I groan dramatically and slouch in my chair. “Rachel- you wouldn’t believe what I’ve had to go through today!” She’s already writing on her pad. “My ex who I haven’t seen since law school is my office neighbor-”
Her pen drops from her hand, and she looks deep into my eyes as if making sure what I’m about to say is nothing but the absolute truth. “Harvey?” I nod and hide behind my hands. “Oh. My. God.” She breathes out in shock.
“Well, technically, we were never boyfriend-girlfriend,” she gives me a questioning look, “but we did kiss and go on dates.”
“So, boyfriend girlfriend?” She questioned and I could tell she got it.
“Exactly! But someone doesn’t like labels or commitment or head apparently.” I huff and sink deeper into my chair. When we were together, Harvey and I had the occasional heated make out, but had only just started having sex before we broke it off.
I look back to Rachel and her mouth is still wide open. “W-Well��” Her eyes are everywhere but me. She fidgets with her fingers in her lap, and I feel like I’ve traumatized the poor girl.
“Rachel, I know you’re not a counselor, but I expected more than this.” I can’t help but laugh as she gawks. “Don’t tell me I need to go back to Mike!” I joke and put my hands on my desk to lift myself out of my seat.
“No!” She yells and throws her hands out in front of her, urging me to be seated once again. I freeze before plopping back in my seat. “Mike is Harvey’s personal associate, he’s like his right-hand man.”
My lips create an O. If I told Mike, there’s a good chance he would have told Harvey. “Well, it’s a good thing you saved me when you did.” I smile at her and let out a sad sigh. “I’m really glad you’re here. You and Donna are gonna be my girls, I can tell.”
“Oh, Donna is the best.” She stops and winces before she continues, “She is also Harvey’s right-hand woman.” I let out an exasperated groan. “But! She’s all girl code! You can absolutely trust her so long as you’re not conspiring against Harvey… probably even then too.” I stand from my desk and move to her seat while giving her arm an appreciative squeeze.
“Thank you, Rachel. I’m super happy I get to work with you.” I pull her into a hug that she’s not prepared for which is evident when she lets out a squeak. She pats my arm awkwardly.
_
I get through the rest of the day, just getting adjusted to the system the company uses and setting up passwords for mandatory accounts. Only when it’s pitch back outside am I interrupted.
I sense someone at my office door, someone I’ve been expecting. “Ms. Pearson.” I smile but don’t look up from my computer. I’m not surprised by her dropping in.
“Ms. (L/N).” She greets back. I wait for her to continue but there is silence. My quick fingers slow their typing, and I look up at her, but she’s already looking at me expectantly. “Spill.”
I’m about to act like I have no idea what she’s talking about, but it’s like she reads my mind. She raises her hand to stop the lies I’m about to spew and squints her eyes. Scary. “I know him.”
“Well that much is obvious.” She glides to my desk before perching on the edge and crossing her arms. “But why were your reactions to each other so… hostile?” Her expression evolves from confusion to intrigue.
“I don’t know if I’d call it hostile…” Her expression doesn’t waver, and I cave. I can’t help but spill every secret I have when she looks at me like that. “…but I swear, when I applied for this job, I had no idea he worked here.” I finished my story out of breath and worried about what she would think of me and my character.
“Hm.” She thinks for a minute before standing. “Hm.” Again, she hums in thought before briskly walking out of the room. My mind is racing but there’s also not a rational thought.
_
I walk into the firm the next day wearing another pink top, this one more pastel. I refuse to cower down, especially to Harvey.
“Good morning!” I say to just about every associate in the bullpen. When I finally reach Mike, my smile grows tenfold. “’ Morning, you.”
He pulls out one of his earbuds. “Still don’t know my name?” He asks playfully but doesn’t look up from his computer.
“Mike,” I speak. He nods but still won’t look at me. If this is Harvey’s right-hand man, I need to be on good terms with him, and maybe get some info, too. “So, you work for Mr. Specter?” I try to be nonchalant while getting information. He stops clicking at his computer and gives me a weird look. “What?”
“Mr. Specter?” He pulls his only earbud from his ear and leans back in his chair. “That’s awfully formal.” I don’t like this. He gives me a quizzical look before he comes to some sort of realization. “That’s why you guys were so weird yesterday…”
“What?” I can feel myself start sweating and my voice is at least two, maybe three pitches higher than before. “We weren’t weird-that’s a weird thing to say- you’re weird.” I huff and can tell he’s not buying it. “Ugh, how obvious was it?”
He ignores my question. “How do you know him? One night stand?” I can’t help but grimace at the thought, “No? Oh, you must be the girl from France.” A pang of unexplainable hurt goes through my chest. He’s not mine, never was actually, it’s pointless for me to feel- “Jealous.” His eyes widen, “You loved him.”
My throat tightens and my mouth runs dry. “You have some nerve.” I fight to keep my voice level. “When you’re done making assumptions about me, and being an overall smartass, see me in my office.” I walk away from him.
I pull out my phone, contacting Louis to tell him I’m in the office so he can come talk to me about what duties would be passed on to me. As I do so, I see a figure out of the corner of my eye right outside my office door. One that’s awfully Harvey shaped.
I stop texting to make sure my eyes aren’t failing me. Sure enough, Harvey is leaned against the glass wall that separates me from the bullpen. In his hand is a drink carrier with what looks to be two hot coffees. He’s wearing a navy-blue suit and a… pastel pink tie that matches my shirt to a T.
He looks at me and pulls his body from the wall. His face is unsure, not very Harvey-like. “’ Morning.” He extends his arm with the coffee in it towards me. I can smell the delectable caramel macchiato that he knows I love. I eye the cup suspiciously, and then I eye him suspiciously.
“’ Morning.” I take the coffee and look at the familiar label. It was no Starbucks, that’s for sure. No, this coffee was from Samson’s Brewery. The same mom-and-pop coffee shop that we would go to during late night study sessions. This coffee place is on the literal whole other side of town, he didn’t go out of his way for this… did he? No, he definitely either door-dashed it or sent a driver.
His eyes don’t leave my face as I inspect the beverage. Once I deduce it’s not poisoned, I look up at him. For the first time since seeing him, I’m not a panicked mess. I just look at him, his gelled hair and puppy dog eyes.  I’m staring. I avert my gaze and mutter a, “Thanks,” before pushing past him into my office.
I stop myself from closing the door behind me. He won’t. He won’t walk in. I sit in my chair and put the coffee on my desk. I stare at it intently, trying not to remember the late nights we spent together. But I also stare at it, so I don’t look at the door, so I don’t look to see if he’s still there.
There are three quick knocks at my door. I look up with hope I can’t mask, only to be disappointed. “Hey, girly.” It’s Louis. I look over his shoulder, but there’s no one.
“G’morning, Louis.” I smile through the pain. “How are you doing?” I side-eye the coffee on my desk like it’ll disappear if I leave it alone too long.
“Same old, same old, I just convinced a major pharmacy company that they needed to break a deal with…” He drones on for a little bit, bragging to me about accomplishments I could do in my sleep. “But, anyway! I came to tell you about the workload you’ll be taking on. Seeing as Harvey is the closest Senior Partner on the floor, you’ll be shadowing him for the next few days. Just until you think you’re ready to fly solo.” He says that like it’s nothing, and I guess it would be for anyone else.
“So, like an associate?” My face scrunches up. “Why can’t I just shadow you, then? Aren’t you in charge of the associates?” I cross my arms.
He chuckles. “I wish, but we’re both Junior Partners, for the time being-” He winks at me. Poor guy, I’m sure he’s been waiting to be Senior Partner for a while. “So, you technically need trained by a Senior Partner.”
“Great.” I have a tight-lipped smile and unconsciously reach for the coffee on my desk. I bring it up to my lips and hum at the nostalgic taste before I even realize I’ve done it. I stop mid-sip and lick my lips guiltily.
“What coffee place is that from?” Louis gets closer and squints at my cup. When he doesn’t recognize it, he pulls away. “The best coffee around is Roaster-Roos right down the way,” He uses his thumb to point over his shoulder. A coy look flashes across his face, “I could go get you one if you want.”
“No. No, this is fine, thank you.” I say a little too quickly. I hold the cup closer to my chest and grip it a little tighter. He shrugs and I clear my throat, “When does this shadowing begin?”
“ASAP.” He snaps and turns his back to me to walk out the door. “Harvey’s in the office right next to yours,” He pivots outside the door to face me again. “He’s kind of cocky, so let me know if you need anything.” He smiles with raised eyebrows. I nod hesitantly in discomfort before he goes to the left and disappears from sight. A long exhale leaves my body. “Why me?”
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solarmorrigan · 8 months ago
Text
Open Doors, part 2
Part 1 | Ao3
Tags: POV Outsider, Steve Harrington Has Migraines, Protective Eddie Munson, Steve Harrington Has Abandonment Issues, Eddie Munson Has Control Issues, it's okay though they love each other and they'll work on it, Past Domestic Violence, (not between any of the main characters; does not go into detail), Arguing, the looming specter of period-typical homophobia, Happy Endings Only I promise
-
The walls in the building are hardly paper-thin, but they aren’t that thick, either. Gladys registers, if distantly, when the sound of raised voices travels from one of the other apartments down the hall. The sound of a door slamming not long after that is a bit louder.
She’s tempted to get up and see who it is that’s apparently storming out—just a quick peek—but she’s really hit a stride in her knitting and can’t be bothered to get up.
Of course, she has no choice when her doorbell rings about half an hour later.
Whoever she’d expected to find on the other side, it hadn’t been Steve – at least, she hadn’t been expecting Steve with his shoulders slumped and his eyes a bit red, trying to smile and give her a little wave like everything is completely normal.
“Hey, Gladys. Are you, um– busy?”
“Just knitting,” Gladys answers, peering at him carefully through her thick glasses. “What’s on your mind?”
“Nothing, really, I just– y’know, just thought I’d come say ‘hi’.” Steve shrugs; his voice is convincing, but his posture tells another story, his body holding itself tense and curled-in, like it’s trying to protect him.
Gladys steps aside. “Come on in.”
Steve lets out a little sigh, something almost relieved in it as he crosses the threshold.
“Something to drink?” Gladys asks as she shuts the door behind him.
“Sure, if you’re having something,” Steve says.
Gladys glances at the clock. It’s after eight, and Steve’s never said no to an evening cup of coffee, but something tells her he doesn’t need any caffeine right now. “I’ll make us some tea,” she decides.
They trade pleasantries while the water boils and the tea steeps, but once they’re both seated at her little kitchen table, mugs in hand, Gladys sees no reason in beating around the bush.
“Was that you boys yelling?” she asks.
Steve, his posture still tense, somehow goes even stiffer in his chair. “You heard that?”
“Nothing clearly, but the walls aren’t that thick.” Gladys pauses, considering. “Heard the door slam, too.”
Pursing his lips, Steve nods. “Yeah, we, uh… got into it a little, I guess,” he says quietly, eyes trained on the table.
“Over what?”
Steve sighs, letting his head drop for a moment as he rubs at the back of his neck. “Stupid stuff,” he says. “I think it started over whose turn it was to do the dishes?”
Gladys nods, taking a quiet sip of her tea and encouraging him to go on.
“It’s just– Eddie hasn’t been letting me do them,” Steve huffs, crossing his arms over his chest.
“You know, that’s not the complaint I expected,” Gladys raises a brow. “Most people are happy when someone does the dishes for them.”
“I mean– yeah, I was kind of enjoying it at first, but it’s been over a week and it’s just getting annoying. And he doesn’t do them right! He puts things in the dishwasher that don’t belong in the dishwasher!” Steve insists. “Which… I may have shouted at him about. And then he told me that I’m too fussy. I’m not goddamn fussy.”
He’s a little fussy, but Gladys keeps that thought to herself for the moment.
“He gets into these moods where he won’t let me do anything. Like, he just kind of takes over, decides for me what I’m capable of doing.” Steve reaches out and clutches his mug, though he makes no move to drink from it. “Like I don’t know my own body’s limitations, or like we don’t both know what my migraine triggers are. Doing chores around the house isn’t one of them.”
Ah. So that’s what this is all about.
It’s been nearly two weeks since Gladys had found Eddie caring for Steve and his migraine; he’d said that day it had been a bad one, and he hadn’t been kidding. Steve had been lain up another two days after that, and even then, when Gladys had next seen him, he’d still looked a bit pale. Eddie himself had looked drawn and tired, hovering much closer to Steve than he usually did outside the apartment.
“You scared him, I think, last week,” Gladys says. “He worries about you.”
“What, like I don’t worry about him?” Steve snaps. “He– There was… a few years ago, there was sort of a freak earthquake in our town. And Eddie, he– he was hurt pretty badly.”
Gladys has seen hints of scars on Eddie’s sides and arms when he’s been puttering around his own home in loose, loungey clothes, just the same as she can plainly see the faded scar wrapped around Steve’s neck, and some on the backs of his arms when he wears short sleeves. The more she gets to know her boys, the more she wonders about them – worries about them. But she supposes now isn’t the time to press.
“He healed up really well, like, all things considered. I made sure he went to all his physical therapy appointments and everything, but I know there are days when he still feels it, and he just pushes through, and he never gets enough sleep, and he just–” Steve leaves off with a harsh sigh. “I know he’s trying to help, but he just stresses me out every time he does this.”
He takes a sullen sip of his tea, and Gladys nods.
“You know, when Avery and I got married, my mother told me that when we fought, we should never go to bed angry–”
Steve’s eyes snap back to Gladys, startled and wide. “Eddie and I aren’t married–”
“–but that’s just bunk.” Gladys catches herself, shaking her head. “Both bits. The bit about not going to bed angry and the bit about you and Eddie not being married. I’m sure you would be, if you could be.”
Letting out the most forced laugh Gladys has ever heard, Steve shakes his head. “Why would we be married? I mean we’re both– and even if that was possible, Eddie is just my roommate. I mean– he’s one of my best friends, obviously, but we’re not–”
“Steve,” Gladys cuts in dryly, “how dumb do you think I am?”
Steve grimaces. “I don’t think you’re dumb,” he mutters.
Taking in the way his shoulders are drawn up around his ears, the way he’s let go of his mug and has pushed back just a bit from the table, like he’s preparing to get up and leave—to run from her, of all people—Gladys places a gentle hand on his arm before he can draw away entirely.
“It’s okay, dear,” she tells him. “You’re safe with me.”
“I– You don’t… care?” Steve asks carefully.
“Why should I care? Are you two hurting anyone?”
“Of course not.” Steve shakes his head, frowning. “But a lot of people have shitty stuff to say about– people like us. How we’re disgusting, or how we should be illegal, or– stuff like that.”
Gladys snorts. “A lot of people are ridiculous.”
Steve shrugs, sitting back in his chair. “At this point, I just… don’t assume anyone is on our side. And I know that sounds awful, but it’s kept us safe.”
Gladys blows out a long sigh and takes a deep pull from her mug. She doesn’t drink anymore, but some conversations still feel like they should be had over glasses of liquor; she supposes the tea will have to do.
“You know, Avery and I grew up together. We lived down the street from each other, but we spent more time at my house than at his. He didn’t like being at home. His mother was the sweetest woman you’d ever meet – kind and soft-spoken and gentle. But if she was the sweetest, then his father was the meanest.” Gladys pauses, lost for a moment in her thoughts. “He hit her. He screamed at her, belittled her. He took that good, kind woman and ground her down and used her up until there was nothing left, and no one did a god damned thing. I remember being so baffled as a child, why everyone just let it happen. I still don’t understand.
“That should have disgusted people. That should have been illegal,” Gladys says sharply, looking back up at Steve. “There are men out there hitting their wives, women screaming at their husbands, but the relationships everyone feels the need to stop are the ones with two men kissing each other? That’s the great evil?”
Steve gives her a tiny, sardonic smile. “Sometimes it’s the ones with two women.”
“Oh, of course, how could I overlook that?” Gladys rolls her eyes. “People need to gain some perspective. You and Eddie love each other, that much is clear. You’re good to each other. Why should I care about anything else?”
Slowly, Steve shakes his head. “I guess you shouldn’t.”
“You guess right,” Gladys says, nodding. “Now, about my mother’s advice.”
“My mom used to say that, too. About not going to bed angry,” Steve says. “Used to wonder how she got any sleep, then, considering how much time she spent being mad at my dad.”
Gladys hums. “Well, like I said: bunk. Not every little fight can be resolved before bedtime. Sometimes you need to sleep on it. Sometimes you need time to cool off. Sometimes you need a little space. The important part is that you’ll both be there in the morning,” she says. “The important part is that you don’t give up.”
Steve only seems to wilt at that, staring into his mug. “I’m not sure Eddie will be there in the morning. He left. I ended up coming over here because the apartment just didn’t feel right without him there.”
“I can sympathize,” Gladys says, and Steve winces.
“Sorry,” he says, glancing up. “This must seem kinda petty to you.”
“I said I understand.” Gladys reaches out and grips Steve’s wrist, giving it an affectionate little shake. “I don’t think it’s silly at all.”
Steve manages a twitch of a smile, but it falls quickly. “I just… What if I managed to chase him away? I’m really not sure what I’d do if he didn’t want to come back.”
“Well that’s silly,” Gladys declares. “Steve, you couldn’t chase that man away if you tried. He looks at you like you hung the stars. You’re the sun he orbits around.”
This time, Steve’s smile lasts more than a moment, small as it is. “You’re starting to sound like him.”
“Good, then maybe you’ll listen to me. Mark my words, he’ll be back,” Gladys says.
Steve nods; he still looks uncertain, but Gladys figures she’s sure enough for the both of them. She’s seen the way they look at each other, the way the act around each other, now that she knows what to look for. They’re more than just smitten; there’s a sort of baked-in trust and understanding there that doesn’t come easily, and she doubts if it will be shaken by a single shouting match.
All the same, she lets Steve change the subject after that, following along as he relays some gossip about some of his classmates, and they keep talking until some time later, when Gladys’ doorbell rings for a second time that evening.
She and Steve exchange confused glances before Gladys gets up and moves to the hallway to answer the door. And there, looking just as worn and worried as Steve, is Eddie.
“Hey, Gladys,” he greets, lacking his usual charming grin. “I just wanted to ask if Steve had been by here at all? He wasn’t at the apartment and– uh…”
He trails off, his gaze snapping to the hallway behind Gladys, and she doesn’t have to turn around to know that Steve is standing there.
“Hey,” Steve says quietly.
“I’m sorry,” Eddie blurts. “For yelling. And for leaving. And for other stuff. But especially for leaving. I’m really, really sorry about that.”
Gladys shuffles a bit to the side, since she’s apparently been forgotten, anyway.
“It’s okay,” Steve says. “I’m sorry, too. For yelling, and for other stuff that we should probably talk about.”
Eddie nods, biting down on the tiny, hopeful smile that’s tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Can we go home?”
“Yeah,” Steve agrees quickly. “Let’s go home.”
Eddie’s hand twitches at his side, like he’s fighting the urge to reach out, but Steve goes to him anyway. Before he’s out the door, however, he pivots and turns to Gladys, wrapping her up in a quick hug.
“Thank you,” he murmurs.
“Any time, dear,” Gladys says, patting him on the back before he releases her. “I’ll still expect you both on Sunday.”
The boys exchange a quick glance.
“We’ll be here,” Steve says, and Eddie nods along.
“Neither wild horses nor our own stupidity could keep us away,” Eddie declares, and Steve snorts.
They walk close together as they head back to their own apartment, their knuckles occasionally bumping between them. Gladys hovers by the door just long enough to hear Steve as he tells Eddie, “So she knows everything.”
“I knew it,” Eddie hisses.
Gladys shuts her door with a laugh.
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