#special sunny party? more like eternal waiting party—

[deus-ex-mona]

help i want my money back </3

[vahntares]

//This is a small 𝐍𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐗𝐢𝐚𝐧 for a very dear friend, @kabybaali I hope you enjoy it! 🥳🎂❤️

Wei Ying tried to keep his eyes open until he reached his apartment door. Between the nausea and the headache, it was hard to find the right key.

The party had gone on so long that dawn rays were beginning to irritate his eyes. Damn keys, quick, open the door!

The trembling in the young man's hands caused the keys to fall from his hands. Perfect, now he would have to deal with having to put his head down and feel like he left his brain was nailed to the ceiling.

"Here."

Wei Ying was slow to realize that a handsome young man was holding out his keys to him.

Not knowing if it was because his blood was 80% alcohol or if he was actually having a supernatural moment, when Wei Ying's eyes met the stranger's, time stood still.

The young man smiled at Wei Ying with a sweetness that melted his heart.

Even as the young man said goodbye with a tender gesture, Wei Ying froze, immersed in some kind of internal debate in which his physiological needs to let the hangover ruin him were falling far below the new blush that took over his cheeks.

From that moment on, Wei Ying radically changed his habits. He gave up the eternal nights and began to get up early, eager to cross paths with the person who turned out to be his neighbor, Wen Ning.

He had to dig here and there to find out the name of his neighbor, inconceivable that he lived next door to such a beautiful person and they had never crossed paths before! (Probably because of the mismatched schedules they had).

It was torture to get up early, but Wen Ning's soft smile and silky voice at the beginning of the day made it all worthwhile.

Those mornings began to be special. Polite greetings quickly turned into small talk.

Wei Ying noticed the time from the high position of the sun: "Ah! Sorry... I kept you waiting and you must be late!"

Wen Ning denied before thinking, "N-no, I'm not late anywhere."

No? Then why did he get up at that time every day?

And as if Wen Ning had realized his own mistake, his face quickly turned very red.

Wei Ying remained motionless. It couldn't be, he didn't have that much luck in life... or did he?

"A-Ning..." Wei Ying tried not to swallow at this moment, "What do you do in the morning?"

Wen Ning held his breath. He was cornered.

"I-I..."

Wei Ying continued to push, "Why do you get up so early?"

What Wei Ying didn't know was that Wen Ning had also changed his routine. Every morning, Wen Ning got up early, before dawn, hoping to meet Wei Ying.

Wen Ning did not need to say anything more for Wei Ying to understand him. So many conversations together had been enough to know his gentle and innocent nature.

Wei Ying smiled broadly. Every morning, as the sun rose in the sky, their encounters became the best thing that had ever happened to him. Glances, smiles, warmly chosen words. A few morning talks and they had already discovered that they had much in common.

And now, they were discovering that they held something they hadn't told each other, a comforting feeling that was driving them to have those /unexpected/ shared mornings.

With a voice full of sorrow, Wen Ning admitted that he had been getting up early those weeks to see him. That first meeting had been because Wen Ning had gone to visit his sister who was finishing her shift at the hospital very early (or late).

This confession made Wei Ying's heart beat even faster, and it was then that Wei Ying invited Wen Ning to his apartment to share some coffee and talk some more, not thinking that it was time to say goodbye.

Wen Ning accepted Wei Ying's invitation with a look that spoke of a love he had silently guarded.

What began as a chance encounter in a hallway turned into a love story where kisses tasted like sunrises and caresses were promises of a future together. On their sunny mornings, Wei Ying and Wen Ning found the right person to share their dreams with.

Of course, after learning that they were both nocturnal creatures, returning to their usual schedules was a great relief (though Wei Ying preferred to spend his nights by Wen Ning's side rather than partying).

[prapasara]

Birthday Wishes for Your Daughter

Heartfelt birthday wishes for daughter

You are as sweet as the icing on a cupcake. Happy birthday!

The love I have for you is immeasurable. Wishing you the best birthday ever.

Being your [mother or father] has always been a dream come true. Thank you for being such an amazing daughter, year after year.

You are truly the best thing that has ever happened to me. That’s what makes this day so special for me, too!

Happy birthday to the best daughter in the whole wide world. I love you!

Your strength and vibrant personality inspire me every day. I cannot wait to watch you grow and reach all your dreams!

Wishing you a birthday filled with love, laughter, and fun. You deserve the best day and year ever.

Happy birthday to a girl who is so strong, kind, and inspirational. You impress and surprise me year after year!

I remember when you could fit in my arms, and now you’re taller than me! Time is moving fast, but you’ll be my little girl forever.

Wishing my sweet daughter a wonderful birthday. I love you more than anything!

Since you were little I’ve told you to shoot for the stars. Now that you’re older, I say go even farther and shoot for another galaxy!

Wishing you a birthday that is as amazing and wonderful as you are. I love you!

Cheers to the girl who is a ray of sunshine. You’re always brightening everyone’s day, and I hope this year is filled with more happy, sunny days for you!

A parent’s job is a lifetime commitment. I’d be your [mom or dad] for eternity. I love you!

Happy birthday to the girl who means the world to me. Every day I strive to make you happy and I hope this year is even better than the last.

Nothing makes me prouder than telling people you’re my daughter. You’re the best!

The day you were born, everything changed. Life got even better and I’m so grateful to be your parent!

I know you’re an adult now, but it feels like you were just coloring in books and learning how to read. I’ll love you through every stage of life!

Happy birthday, kiddo. Thank you for being such an amazing daughter—it makes being a parent the best job in the world!

Happy birthday to a gem of a person. Thank you for all the smiles and wonderful memories.

Funny birthday wishes for daughter

This day is just as celebratory for you as it is for me—I deserve a trophy after raising you!

Happy birthday to the most beautiful girl in the world (you’re welcome for the good genes, by the way).

Stop getting older! We’re running out of room on your cake!

Happy birthday to my favorite family member. The cat’s out of the bag!

Is it too late to return you to the storks? The return policy wasn’t too clear.

When you’re cutting everyone’s slice of cake, just remember who was in labor for hours with you.

There’s no set of instructions for raising a daughter, but we’ve made it this far!

I hope all your birthday wishes come true—except the ones I don’t want to know about.

Every year that you grow older, I somehow get shorter than you!

Wishing you a year filled with fun memories. Just don’t have too much fun, or I’ll start worrying!

Now that you’re older, can I follow you on Instagram? No? Please?

You may be one year older, but so am I. The tech issues and questions are only going to get worse. Sorry!

I know you’re an adult now, but all I could find was Dora the Explorer party decorations. Your friends won’t mind, right?

Happy birth-slay to the daughter who keeps me up-to-date on all the trends and slang words.

Now that you’re older, we can finally admit that we had no idea what we were doing. Cheers!

Happy birthday to my mini-me! About that, can we pick out clothes at the store as your gift so that you stop stealing mine?

I’ll wish you a happy birthday if you tell [mom or dad] that I’m the favorite parent.

Now that you’re a bit older, can we all address the elephant in the room? I know I’m the favorite parent, it’s okay to admit it!

I remember when you were just a little girl. Now you need reading glasses. Wow, time flies!

Happy birthday to the only person whose birthday I can remember without a reminder. That day was too painful to forget!

Birthday wishes for daughter quotes

“To become a mother is the choice to become one of the greatest spiritual teachers there is…I know for sure that few callings are more honorable.” –Oprah Winfrey

“A mother’s and daughter’s love is never separated.” –Viola Shipman

“Every birthday is a gift. Every day is a gift.” –Aretha Franklin

“A birthday is not a day to fear. It is a day to celebrate and look forward to the coming year.” –Byron Pulsifer

“My daughter introduced me to myself…the connection I had with her when I was giving birth was something that I’ve never felt before.” –Beyoncé

“There is a point where you aren’t as much mom and daughter as you are adults and friends.” –Jamie Lee Curtis

“Age is whatever you think it is. You are as old as you think you are.” –Muhammad Ali

“A mother’s treasure is her daughter.” –Catherine Pulsifer

“No daughter and mother ever live apart, no matter what the distance between them.” –Christie Watson

“The love between a mother and a daughter is forever.” –Patricia Wayant

“Do your dance, it’s your birthday.” –Usher

“Go on, take on this whole world / But to me you know you’ll always be / My little girl.” –Tim McGraw

“Don’t just count your years, make your years count.” –George Meredith

“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.” –Helen Keller

“There’s two things I know for sure: she was sent here from heaven and she’s daddy’s little girl.” –Bob Carlisle

“The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.” –Oprah Winfrey

“Your birthday is the beginning of your own personal new year. Your first birthday was a beginning, and each new birthday is a chance to begin again, to start over, to take a new grip on life.” –Wilfred Peterson

“I will not be a mystery to my daughter. She will know me and I will share my stories with her—the stories of failure, shame, and accomplishment. She will know she’s not alone in that wilderness.” –Viola Davis

“It is admirable for a man to take his son fishing, but there is a special place in heaven for a father who takes his daughter shopping.” –John Sinor

“Raising an independent daughter feeds my soul with hope.” –Ali Flynn

Birthday wishes for a daughter-in-law

Cheers to another year of making it through this family’s chaos!

Thank you for being an amazing wife to my child. Happy birthday!

One of the best gifts of my life was welcoming you into my family.

I couldn’t ask for a better daughter-in-law. Cheers to the birthday girl!

I knew you were a good egg from the moment I met you. Thank you for being such a stellar addition to the family!

You’ve given me the gift of having an amazing daughter. I can only hope my birthday gift to you can match up to that!

You make family gatherings worth attending (don’t tell the others!).

I’ve always wanted a daughter, and bonding with you has been such an amazing experience. I love you and happy birthday!

You didn’t know any of us a few years ago, but now you’re stuck with us for every birthday for the rest of your life! Cheers to that!

Marrying into this chaotic family can take its toll. That’s why I got you a gift card to the spa for your birthday. Oh, and I’m coming too!

Birthday wishes for someone like a daughter

Family runs deeper than blood, and I hope you know I see you like a daughter! Happy birthday!

I may not have been there when you were born, but I’ve loved being there with you for all the following birthdays. I love you!

Happy birthday to someone who’s like a daughter to me. You deserve the best day ever!

Watching you grow over the years personally and professionally has been a highlight of my life. Wishing you the best year yet.

I hope you know how grateful I am for our bond. I love giving you advice and being a shoulder to cry on when you need it!

They say there’s nothing like a mother-daughter bond, but I think ours is even stronger! Happy birthday!

I see so much of my younger self in you, and I hope I can be a source of wisdom for you as you grow older. Cheers to another year!

Happy birthday! Don’t tell my kids, but you’re really my favorite!

Every year that you get older I am even prouder of everything you’ve accomplished. I cannot wait to see what you do next!

We may not be related, but you’re stuck with me for life. Happy birthday!

Meaningful birthday wishes for daughter

I hope you take the time today to reflect on how amazing you are. You deserve the best birthday.

Growing older can be scary, but you will always have me to lean on whenever you need me. I’ll support you until the end.

Being your [mother or father] was the best responsibility I’ve ever had. I always wondered who you would grow up to be, and I couldn’t be prouder of you than I am right now.

You inspire me to be a better person every day. Your strength, patience, kindness, and joy are contagious to everyone around you.

As you get older, I hope you never lose your spark and joyful personality.

As a parent, I’ve tried to protect you from any danger or harm. I know that’s not entirely possible, especially as you get older. Just know that you are stronger than you think and I’m here when you need me!

Your birthday is the most important day to me because it was the start of one of the best chapters of my life.

Watching you grow year after year is the best gift a parent can ever ask for. Happy birthday, my beautiful daughter!

Happy birthday to the light of my life. You are a ray of sunshine even in the darkest of times.

Each year that you grow older is another year of happiness. Your positivity is inspirational and we all are so grateful for you.

This year, I hope you get everything you want and more. You’re such a hard worker, and I know you will achieve all of your dreams.

It’s easy to blend in and make yourself small as you get older. I hope you never stop marching to the beat of your own drum. Happy birthday!

I know that I’m the parent, but I look up to you just as much as you look up to me, if not more! You’ve grown into a wonderful young woman, and I know you’ll continue to do amazing things.

Happy birthday to my little girl who has grown into such a wonderful woman. You inspire me year after year.

I wonder how the universe knew that we would be the perfect parent-daughter match. Our bond cannot be broken.

Since you were little, you had a heart of gold. Wishing you a birthday filled with just as much kindness as you have for others.

Everyone who knows you is so grateful to have you in their lives. It’s an honor to be your [mother or father] because I get to have a special and close relationship with such an amazing person.

I hope you never stop fighting for what you believe in. Happy birthday!.

I cannot express how much you mean to me with just words. I am beyond grateful to call you my daughter.

Happy birthday to my little angel. I am so blessed to have you in my life.

Short and Sweet Birthday Wishes for Your Daughter

Happy birthday to my favorite (and only) daughter!

Wishing my sweet baby girl a fabulous birthday

Happy birthday! You are the absolute best daughter any mother could ever have!

I hope your special day is as special as you! Happy birthday, daughter.

Nothing lights up my world more than you! Wishing you the happiest birthday ever.

Wishing my sweetheart, a very happy birthday. I love you more than you’ll ever know.

May all your wishes come true today and every day. Happy birthday!

You’re the best thing that ever happened to me. Happy birthday!

I admire the strong, independent woman you’ve become. Happy birthday!

You’re my biggest inspiration. Happy birthday, dear!

Happy birthday to my darling daughter!

May you be surrounded by love and all your favorite things today and forever! Happy birthday!

Wishing you a fun and memorable birthday!

Happy birthday to the sweetest girl I know!

You’re the brightest jewel in our family. Happy birthday to my precious daughter!

Happy birthday, daughter! The world is a better place because you’re in it!

You’ll always be the apple of my eye. Wishing you a fantastic birthday!

Happy birthday to the one who makes me see life in full color! You add sparkle and pizzazz to everything and today we celebrate the fun firecracker that you are!

Happy birthday, to my one and only daughter!

I took a poll, and the results are in: You’re the absolute best daughter in the world! Happy birthday!

Hugs and kisses for you today and always. Happy birthday!

Happy cake day!

Happy birthday to my greatest dream come true!

Wishing my forever mini-me a fabulous birthday!

You’re my everything! Wishing you a happy and memorable birthday!

Let’s eat cake! Happy birthday to the sweetest gift I’ve ever received.

Funny Birthday Wishes

Happy birthday to the most beautiful girl in the world. After all, you get your good looks from me!

From the moment you were born, you’ve ruled our lives! It’s good to know that nothing has changed. Happy birthday, daughter.

Cake should be the only food we eat today! Remember, mothers always know best. Happy birthday, my sweet!

Wow, we’re starting to run out of space on the cake with all these candles! You’re catching up to me. Happy birthday!

I should be the one getting presents today. After all, I’m the one who brought you into the world! Happy birthday!

Seriously, finding a gift for you gets harder and harder every year. This year I’ve finally found the best one yet: hugs and kisses. Happy birthday!

Happy birthday to the person who decided to put me through hours of labor and even cried about it for months!

May all your birthday wishes come true — except the illegal ones. Happy birthday!

I suppose it’s too late to return you to the stork, right? OK, I guess I’ll keep you! Happy birthday!

Since you’re a year older, does that mean you can now pay us back for all the expenses you’ve incurred?

Even on the days when you test my patience (there are many!), you always find a way to make me smile. Happy birthday to my spunky daughter!

I wouldn’t trade you for the world. Well, maybe if the price is right! At any rate, happy birthday, daughter!

Happy birthday to the girl whose birthday I’ll never forget. It’s impossible to forget such a painful day.

As a thank you for all those sleepless nights I had when you were a baby, I think I’ll take up drumming and stay at your place for a week! Happy birthday!

Birthday Blessings

I thank God for granting me another wonderful year with my super sweet, intelligent, and gorgeous daughter. Happy birthday!

There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t pray for you. Today I’ll pray even harder because it’s one of the most special days of the year. Happy birthday, beautiful girl.

May God grant you all the desires of your heart. Happy birthday.

You’re my biggest blessing and I never take that for granted. May all your hopes and dreams come true. Happy birthday!

God blessed me with the greatest gift: You! Wishing you the best birthday yet.

I pray that your special day brings an abundance of happiness to you today and always.

I’m so grateful to God that He chose me to be your mother. There is no greater love. Happy birthday, daughter!

You’re truly an angel on earth. God sent you to bless us with your love and for that I’m tremendously blessed. Happy birthday!

It’s my prayer that blessings shower down on you today. Happy birthday!

As you blow out your candles, stop and give thanks for all of life’s blessings. I pray for you daily. Happy birthday, my angel.

My prayer is that you remain the sweet and kind person you’ve always been. Wishing you nothing but the best today and always!

Today we’re celebrating you — the biggest blessing we could ever receive. We love you so much. Happy birthday!

May God continue to keep you happy and healthy. Happy birthday, sweet daughter.

As long as you remember that every birthday is a blessing from above, you’ll never fear getting older. Happy birthday!

Meaningful Birthday Messages

You bring out the best in everyone you encounter. Your spirit could light up the darkest sky. Never stop being you. Happy birthday, precious daughter.

No one on earth can make my heart smile the way you do. Simply hearing your voice brings me peace and serenity. Thank you for being the absolute best daughter anyone could ever have.

Today, I hope you take the time to reflect on how much you’ve impacted our family. You truly make our lives better. Happy birthday!

You’re the greatest gift that I’ve ever received. Happy birthday to the person who made me a mom. I love you!

Being your mother is an honor and privilege. I’d do anything for you today and always. Happy birthday!

You’re such an inspiration to those around you. Keep shining like the star that you are. Happy birthday!

When I look at you, I see an incredible woman who knows what she wants out of life. Your ambition is admirable and I’m so lucky to watch you blossom. Happy birthday!

There’s so much about you that I love. From your warm smile to your kind heart. You’re truly a gem. Happy birthday, baby girl!

As your mother, I know you’ve always looked up to me. But now as you mature into an outstanding woman with children of your own, I admire you. It brings me so much joy watching you raise my grandchildren. Happy birthday!

You stole my heart the day I stared into your bright eyes. I’ve been in awe of you since day one and that will never change. I love you. Happy birthday, daughter.

You’ve made me a better person. Your birth was truly a rebirth for me, and I am forever grateful. Happy birthday.

I can barely remember my life before you entered it. That’s how much you’ve impacted my entire existence. Happy birthday, my love.

Witnessing you grow into a responsible young woman is all I could’ve asked for. Happy birthday!

You deserve everything this world can offer and more. I hope you get it all because you’re beyond worthy. Happy birthday!

Nobody is as kind and compassionate as you! May this day bring forth all the good that you give. Wishing you the best birthday!

Thank you for being an amazing daughter. My heart beats for you! Happy birthday, my sweet daughter.

You’re the icing to my cupcake. You make everything sweeter! Happy birthday, sunshine.

When I look at you, I see a remarkable woman who doesn’t let anything get in the way of her dreams. You’re truly an inspiration. I hope you enjoy your special day to the fullest!

Happy birthday to the little girl who has grown into an outstanding young woman. You make me so proud!

I don’t know what I did to deserve a daughter as caring, thoughtful and loving as you. I really hit the jackpot when you were born. Happy birthday!

No one can make me laugh and smile like you do. You’re such a joy to be around. Happy birthday!

I’m so honored to call you my daughter. I wish every person on earth would experience this kind of love. Happy birthday, sweetheart.

Just when I think you can’t brighten my life even more, you continue to do it — year after year. Cheers to another birthday!

You’ve always had a heart of gold. That’s why I hope this year you get everything you’ve given others tenfold. Happy birthday, my sweet and kind daughter.

You illuminate the lives of everyone you encounter. May your warm spirit continue to shine and touch others. Wishing you the best of everything on your special day.

Happy birthday to the best daughter on the planet. Nothing comes close to the love I have for you. You’re simply the best!

Birthday Wishes for Your Tween / Teenager

I love that you’ve always marched to the beat of your own drum. Always stay true to yourself and you’ll never go wrong. Happy birthday, sweetheart!

As I watch you blossom into a gorgeous young lady, I’m simply overjoyed. You bring so much love and happiness to our family. Happy birthday, pretty girl.

Never stop being yourself because you’re the coolest person I know. Happy birthday, baby!

I hope this doesn’t embarrass you, but I love you to infinity and beyond! Thank you for always laughing at my corny jokes. Happy birthday!

Your positive attitude will take you far in life. Keep your promising outlook and the world will be your oyster. Happy birthday, beautiful.

Watching you blossom into a beautiful young lady has been one of my biggest blessings. Wishing you a wonderful birthday.

You shine brighter than any star in the sky. It’s a pleasure watching you soar. Happy birthday!

No matter what you decide to do in life, just know that I’ll always be your biggest cheerleader. Happy birthday, to my favorite girl.

Happy birthday to my smart, fierce and funny young lady.

Your infectious laugh lights up every room. I admire your humor — never change. Happy birthday, sweet girl.

You’re my motivation. Thank you for being a wonderful daughter. Happy birthday, sweetheart.

You stole my heart from the moment you came into my life. My love for you is unconditional and I’ll always be by your side. Happy birthday!

I hope this birthday brings you joy and happiness because you’re more than deserving. I love you!

Watching you grow into an independent young woman brings me so much joy. Happy birthday!

I’m the luckiest mom on earth because I have you as a daughter. Happy birthday, to my special girl!

May your special day be filled with love, well wishes, and of course, cake! Happy birthday.

You’re wiser than I ever was at your age and that makes me one proud Mama Bear. Happy birthday!

You’re going to change the world. There’s nothing more satisfying than watching you accomplish your dreams. May today be the best birthday yet!

The world is a better place because you’re in it. Continue shining like the star you are! Happy birthday!

When you were born, I knew that you’d grow into a strong and fearless young woman. I was right! Happy birthday.

I marvel at your confidence and desire to make the world a better place. Happy birthday, my future leader.

Even though I can no longer hold you in my arms, you'll always be my baby. Happy birthday, sweetie!

Happy birthday to the coolest kid in all the land! Mommy loves you more than you’ll ever know!

As you grow into adulthood, never lose your sense of wonder. Happy birthday, to my favorite girl.

It’s a privilege watching you blossom into a beautiful young woman. Happy birthday!

It would take an eternity to express all the love I have for you! You make my heart burst with pride. Happy birthday!

Wishing you everlasting joy as you celebrate another year around the sun! Keep shining and lighting up our lives.

Watching you succeed in life is beyond satisfying. You make me proud in so many ways. Happy birthday, sweet girl!

Since it’s your birthday, I guess I’ll forgive you for stealing all my clothes! Happy birthday, to my favorite fashionista!

Your compassionate spirit is admirable. You’re an inspiration to me and everyone who knows you. Wishing you an amazing birthday this year and always!

CR   ::       https://www.prevention.com/life/a45158090/birthday-wishes-for-daughter/  ,  https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/relationships/a39801355/birthday-wishes-for-daughter/

[cloudstrife-bbs]

Updates and Preparations

I haven't written in a while, but the days spent waiting to pick up Cloud are going by agonizingly slow.

Which is ironic considering his breeder has commented multiple times that they're growing up so fast. Cloud is already three-weeks-old. He still hasn't been chosen out of his litter, and I'm trying my absolute hardest to not get attached to a single puppy. It IS inevitably happening. But only DK and I know which one that is. We don't wanna set ourselves up for disappointment; we trust his breeder will select the right one for us. But, I DREAMED of this specific puppy. My dreams are incessant. Every night, the Spirits bring me messages. Recently, I dreamed of SoCo and Applejack, and we had brought them to a Summer Camp for Dogs to stay. I can only ponder what that meant. They were happy, and they were together, in an eternal Summer Time full of Sunny Days. And all the other humans and dogs there adored them.

We have been preparing the house as much as we can. We have done a lot of spring cleaning and straightening of this old farmhouse. We've thrown so much of my grandparents' clutter away, but also found some lovely little treasures that we've tucked upstairs in Pop's office. We bought Cloud a brand new, but very expensive, Impact dog crate. His breeder wants us to bring it to her to start crate training when we go up to meet them all for the Puppy Party on March 30th.

All the spring cleaning feels like nesting pregnancy behavior out of me. I am not ashamed to say that my pets are my children, and I already feel love and bonding towards this fuzzy little polar bear cub that will turn into my majestic, heroic dog. I don't think it's wrong to feel this way. I have all the same anxieties about making sure Cloud is set up for success as a worried mother might feel. I want the best for him.

I have lots more pictures and video I screenshot from the breeder's Instagram, but since I don't know which one is Cloud, it's hard to post them appropriately. I just collect them and when I know which one is him, I will pare down my hoard of imagery. They've opened their eyes now, and all eleven puppies look good, healthy, and wiggly. I love them all. I will be happy no matter what.

DK and I bought special T-shirts to wear when we pick him up. They have Bolt on them. Mine is red and says "I {Heart} My Dog" with Bolt and Mr. Carrot in the heart. DK's is blue and says "My Dog Is My Hero" with the movie's brave White Swiss Shepherd racing across the front. DK also got another adorable shirt with a Hipster Berger Blanc Suisse on it. I also want to buy him the one with the Gamer WSSD on it. We are going to be THOSE types of Shepherd owners.

I am listening to How Stella Learned to Talk on audio book from the library. I am learning a tremendous amount. In fact, I want to finish this journal just so I can go back to it. We bought Cloud a beginners set of four talking buttons. I really want to teach Cloud to use AAC to communicate. My love for Applejack could have only been enhanced by a stronger ability to communicate. I want Cloud to be able to tell me what he's thinking, or what he needs. The cognitive ability of dogs has always fascinated me. I want him to express himself. Truly, I want my dog to be able to tell me that he loves me just as much as I love him. I have confidence in myself as a dog trainer and a pet parent to give him the education he will need to be happy. Knowledge is power. And I want Cloud to show everyone just how smart he is.

He has some chew toys, and plenty of soft squeakies. Many are inherited from his brother- and sister-in-spirit. I have to have faith that SoCo and AJ are happy to share their toys with him, because I believe they are happy to see DK and I so excited and happy again.

I keep having mixed feelings about missing our Angel Dogs. On the one hand, I believe that moving forward from grief is an excellent step, but on the other hand, I worry about not fully honoring their memory and acknowledging the indelible mark they have left on our hearts. Cloud is his own person, just as SoCo and AJ were their own persons. Our family is growing, and no one is being replaced.

We, as a human race as a whole, don't deserve how wonderful dogs are, but aren't we lucky that we get to share our lives with them?

To help the days pass, DK and I have been watching a dog movie every night. So many good, and so many cheesy titles. I'd love to share the list at some point, but 60 dog movies was a little difficult to pick out. There are plenty I have seen, and many I haven't. If you can name it, it's probably there. I tried to avoid "Hallmark-esque" movies, though. I can only handle so much schmaltz.

DK and I are committed to doing better by Cloud as a tribute to SoCo and Applejack. We already have a new vet appointment, and I hope that the vet is a good one. The horror stories that The Cat tells me from her work is just... it's like that particular vet office she's employed with is filled with high school drama and zero professionalism.

It makes me happy that all my friends and family are excited to meet Cloud. My own mother is thrilled and can't wait to show off her grand-dog to her coworkers. In fact, we're going to label my mom as "Nonna", Italian for Grandma. My father is indifferent, but he always has been towards animals. And DK's mom, dad, and brother are looking forward to the day they meet him too. The Cat is my oldest and dearest friend at this point, is apparently making him a gift bag. She'll be known as "Auntie Lee" which is how SoCo and Applejack knew her. Her children are Juniper the Calico and Jasper the Black Cat, whom I may refer to in later entries as my niblings/niece/nephew respectively. I love them very much too, and I always look forward to seeing them.

The days are definitely dragging. I am staying home some days and going to work on others, but the job we are on now is dragging badly because of poor worksite management by the builder. The more distracted and occupied we are, the better, I think.

The more I read about canine cognition, the more I am assured of what I've always known: They are way smarter than most people give them credit for. They display a sentience that seems so "like us" that it feels undeniable that they possess an eternal Soul and a Spirit that will transcend the boundaries of Life and Death.

Dogs are teachers. Pets are teachers. I'm confident in this statement. And my dogs are here on Earth to teach me how to be the best I can be. They are my love, my passion, they are my reason to be. Nothing makes me happier than being with my husband and my dog.

[hecatart]

A Special Day for you two.

Yesterday sure was a strange day for you, filled with so many emotions but of course, one was taking more place there... Love. You could often find yourself staring at this ring on your finger and having that smile each time you'd remember this.....

- ” Today is a day that I wish to never forget. A day marking a new start and, the accomplishment of something bigger ! “    The Prince was now joining Lucifer's hands and yours together. Feeling yours completely shaking and you were absolutely sure you could feel The black haired demon slightly trembling as well... Of course you'd keep this to yourself...

One thing you had no doubts about, was his Prideful and loving stare. His crimson eyes almost piercing your soul as he'd never get them off of you. The only thing you could do was to do the same. He was way too magnificent to even dare looking at something else. His white and blue suit, decorated with colorful feathers was absolutely fantastic. Maybe even done with the help of Levi and Asmo... You just kept on thinking about your Lover, squeezing his hands as your eyes were carefully watching at every details of his attire as a voice dragged you out of it :

- ”(Y/N) ...” Your eyes were suddenly looking at the Prince as you're now taking a deep breath.

- ”Do you pledge to love and devote your human life and soul to him ? Do you promise to honor and tenderly care for your lover, cherish and encourage him, stand by his side no matter what ? And most importantly, to cherish the bond between humans and demons ? ”

Clearing your throat, your shiny eyes made their way back to Lucifer's. Staring at you with a slight grin as he was impatiently waiting for your answer. You could feel all the eyes on you now, the room completely silent.

-” I  do !”  You said with as much confidence as you could show. Your voice shaking with the emotion.

- “ May a kiss seals the Eternal bond between the two of you.”    Diavolo said. Almost all emotive as the two of you already were.

And there you remembered the first kiss the two of you shared as One. The most passionate and beautiful one you could give to each other... It felt as if a completely new feeling was traveling into your whole being.

And then you've been remembering the long party after the Ceremony... The impressive amount of people who were here today... After all, it was an extremely important event so you weren't surprised. You also remember the stupid games the other brothers were doing together.

A giggle ends up escaping your mouth at the thought... But... There's also something you've been suddenly remembering. Your now husband suddenly disappeared during your wedding night and, that was barely possible for you to find some time to even look after him as demons, angels or humans would come to you, telling how happy they were for you and how honored they are to be there today....

Later in the night, a voice took you by surprise.

-”Boo.”   Lucifer whispered in your ear. That same smirk on his face as his hands held your waist, planting a kiss on your temple. You jumped a bit but as soon as you recognized his voice, you immediately leaned into his kiss, smiling and finally reassured he would be there with you.

-”I'm truly sorry for leaving you so suddenly... I had something very important to finish and it couldn't wait any longer. Now that I'm back, How about a dance together, my Love ?”

-”Well, I'd absolutely love this, Dear husband ~”

And the two of you kept on dancing, laughing and spent a good part of the night together. Showing to the world how in love you two were. Lucifer often reached your ear, whispering sweet words to you. But during your last dance, the emotion on his face grew more intense.

-”If only you could feel my heart at this right instant... Beating only for you...” His fingertips playing with the ring on your finger as he gives you a fond smile.

-”I guess calling you Mine would only be a logical thing now, don't you think ?”

-”I completely agree. Call me by this name forever.... Lucifer...I love you...”

-”(Y/N)....”  He leaned down, capturing your lips over and over again, not allowing you to go for a few minutes.

A long moment later, both of you decided to discretely leave to your room. Both falling on the mattress, exhausted. Yours eyes met, appreciating the peace around you as Lucifer suddenly rushes to a desk there. He was now holding a piece of paper in his hand, slowly leaning with a smile :

-”Please, (Y/N), read this when you have a moment for yourself, Understood ? “

-”As you wish my Love” ~

Carefully holding the letter and leaving it in your bag so you're making sure to know where to find it once back home. You were walking back at him, showering his face with kisses before the both of you ended up getting ready to finally get the rest you deserved.

It didn't took long for you to fall asleep because of the amount of energy you've spent that day.

The next day, finally on your way back home after taking care of a few last important things. The both of you were completely tired after last night and the road back seemed so long to you... Seeing the House from afar fulfilled your heart with so much joy and you just wanted to crash on your bed and to be in peace...

You quickly make your way to the main door with Lucifer, your husband. Just the idea of it gave you a huge smile on your tired face. Giving him a quick peck on the lips and both going to different rooms as he apparently had some work to do. As always, you thought... But you were clearly too exhausted to say or do anything. You then burst into your room, walking to your bed and leaving your things at the end of it. And there... This comforting cloud that is your mattress....

Taking a deep sigh and staring at your ceiling for a while, you suddenly remember the little conversation between Lucifer and You.... ”Please, (Y/N), read this when you have a moment for yourself, Understood ? “ Mmmhh..... That was probably the moment after all. Crawling to the end of your bed and eagerly burying your hands in your bags, you finally find it... A letter. It was rolled and held by a beautiful blue ribbon.

You couldn't wait any longer and quickly start to untie and unroll it.

« (Y/N),

Well, here I am, surprised since I don't really know where to start, but I suppose I shall make it simple and quick since you must be looking for me now.

This wedding, our union is the greatest thing I could have ever imagined. This is a thought I've been leaving behind during this long lifespan and, if I may be honest, I never thought this would even happen with a human. But, Who would have thought a human like you would stir up these feelings within me ?

The moment I've asked for your hand was finally the day where, the fog and doubts in my heart and soul completely drifted away. You took its place, filling my being with joy and with a beautiful sunny summer I haven't seen in so long now. But also with more curiosity and the most important ones... Love and Passion.

(Y/N), if you could have felt my heart the right instant I saw you walking towards me this day, I swear it could have bursted out of my chest. You've completely captivated my eyes. A true work of art if I may say. And I sometimes wish you could see yourself as I see you.

All of this, is making me more and more happy to know your thoughts, heart and everything are completely Mine.

Thank you, for reanimating that fire in me (Y/N). I plan on  cherishing you for the rest of your life and for Eternity.

Keep this in mind : I'm proud to know you'll be forever be part of our family and also proud to know I'll now keep you by my side.

(Y/N), I love you, truly and deeply.

Forever Yours,

Lucifer.”

You just noticed the smile that grew on your face while reading those words from your now husband. And you couldn't help but mumble to yourself.

-“So that's why you disappeared that night mmhh.... ?”

Now holding that piece of paper as if it was the most precious treasure you have, you're laying down on your bed, a happy tear running down your face.

You knew now, it was time to write the most beautiful story that ever existed, together.

[dopescotlandwarrior]

Sinners & Saints-Chapter 17

                 A special thanks to @statell​ for all your help

Previous chapters at AO3

Chapter 17

Sebastian Meyer spun his desk chair around in time to see his secretary drop a newspaper onto his desk. She had the paper folded back to the society section where Danny’s face was beaming as she shook hands with Boris Johnson, the Prime Minister of England. He felt like someone punched him in the stomach and lowered the receiver to its cradle without warning to the caller. “What in God’s name is she doing?” He looked up in time to appreciate the swinging ass of his secretary before the door closed behind her. Sebastian read every word associated with the story and decided his mother was having a last fling before she surrendered the reigns to him this year. Let her have some fun, he thought, a nostalgic party to remember her glory days when she was the seat of power and reigning queen of the socialites. He could give a shit because nothing could stop him now. The purchase of a sizeable chunk of stock was in the bag after his manufactured bromance with a major investor. Sebastian did his best to undermine his mother’s stronghold and convince the man she was suffering from dementia. He was sure this sale would put him close to majority shareholder, so his take over was within reach. Still, the picture gave him an unsettled feeling because she had not surfaced in almost a year. Why now? The crew had worked all night to put the boat right after the party, with orders from Darius not to report for duty until noon the following day. Jamie took advantage of the quiet morning and trained Danny and himself in the gym before swimming laps to cool off. He hated the weather in London. Hot, sticky, and draining.

Adso’s loud purring cut through the fog of Claire’s dream and she felt him head-butting her face. He stretched out beside her and kept his paws on her face until she opened her eyes. Claire rolled to her side and with a finger under his chin pulled his head up to look at her. “Ok my darling, I’m up. Is it food you want?” The door to their deck slid open for some fresh air and was closed immediately to keep humid air from filling the room. Tonight they will weigh anchor, set a course for Paris, and her intimate time with Jamie would be on hold again. She stretched and smiled at their glutenous sexual pursuits over the past week and figured she would survive the three days apart. She couldn’t wait to get to Paris and see Javier and Joseph again. They were invited to the party and would stay on board to Athens and then fly home. It felt like an eternity since they were together. Darius called a meeting of the crew and ran down the teams, shifts, and duties on their three-day trip to Paris. Maia was the last one onto the bridge and noticed Cici did not move away from Darius when she came in. She stood across from them and quietly listened to the meeting, however she remembered not a word. When the crew muttered “aye, captain,” Maia was deep in her memory, adding up the lingering looks and odd behaviors observed in Cici. “Maia? You’re a million miles away.” Maia looked around at the empty bridge and blushed. “I’m closer than you think. I gotta go.” Black Rolls Royce automobiles pulled up to the offices of the Harbor Master all day long so someone in the employ of a party guest could deliver a handwritten message thanking Danny for a lovely evening. When Darius requested permission to make way, he was told a boat was coming to deliver mail. Eighty-five guests sent a thank you note, and Danny read every one of them. The anchors were raised just as a thunderstorm ripped open to soak Ethan and Steven, who gripped the slippery hull ladder with one hand while they guided the chain with the other. Darius watched the CCTV monitors closely until they were back on deck. The other crew members were pulling furniture and lounge chairs under the deck ceiling and snapping waterproof covers over everything. When all of them were back inside, Darius and Jamie turned the yacht away from London toward open water. Danny looked out the expansive windows at the squall coming in on the port side and told Claire and Maia to close all the windows. Claire ran to her rooms and called for Adso, usually on her lap at this time of the day, getting more frantic by the second. She ran around her room calling for him and spun around to see him sitting on her bed yawning. She picked him up and carried him out to the table where they were working. Darius looked at the color of Jamie’s face and decided he finally found his friend's weakness. “You look a bit green around the edges, friend. The trash can is empty if you need …” Jamie ran for the head and over the next two hours, purged his system, in one way or another. Darius was waiting to give him a patch for seasickness, but Jamie couldn’t spend more than a couple of minutes on the bridge before dashing back to the head. On one of his brief visits, Darius pressed something sticky behind his ear. Jamie made a run for the bathroom again and Darius chuckled. After four hours of being tossed around on an angry sea, Darius could see the margin of the storm and pushed their speed to get out from under it. When Maia and Steven arrived to take their shift, Jamie almost crawled out of the elevator and got to their rooms to lie down. Claire was reading and jumped off the bed when she saw her green-faced love stagger in. She pulled his clothes off and propped him up on pillows, then went to the galley for soup and water. The chef was preparing food for the next day when she told him how sick Jamie was. He smiled and fixed up a remedy for seasickness and suggested broth to restore him. “He won’t like the taste of the remedy, so tell him to pinch his nose and swallow. Best to have a bucket nearby, just in case.” Claire carried the tray to their room and Jamie did whatever she told him to. Then he laid down and passed out. Jamie reported to the bridge the next morning feeling much better except for sore stomach muscles. He kissed Claire as they exchanged places and the familiar rotation was back in full swing. Claire worked with Danny during the day, getting her to remember the faces that would board in Paris, and Maia did research on the guests. When they dropped anchor in Paris, it felt like they had hardly moved. The night of the party, Claire and Maia flanked Danny again at the entrance to the grand saloon and fed her information about guests who were approaching. When Claire saw Javier and Joseph in the greeting line, she broke away to throw her arms around them. Javier held her at arm’s length and smiled at her gown and hair. He was bursting with pride, as was Joseph. Claire introduced them to Danny and Maia and walked them into the saloon to find Jamie. Jamie’s smile was brilliant as he shook hands with the men. Claire promised to catch up in a bit and went back to Danny greeting guests. It was a stifling evening and even with the air conditioners blowing Danny was perspiring in her jacket, so she took it off to reveal the sleeveless gown underneath. Jamie caught sight of her and beamed with pride at her smooth and shapely arms. Danny looked in his direction and smiled back. At one o’clock in the morning, Claire dropped onto the couch between Javier and Joseph and sighed. Danny smiled her gratitude at the three of them. “I owe you a big thank you for talking with the French-speaking guests. I never saw any of you sit down all night and you were all so charming!” “I left you to fly solo tonight and you knocked it out of the park Danny.” “I wasn’t alone, I had the darling Maia with me much of the night.” Claire put her hand on her heart and lipped ‘thank you’ to Maia. She noticed Ethan and Steven had changed into their day uniforms and were standing by. “It would appear we are moving the boat to our mooring so it’s time to change and be useful.” She kissed Javier and Joseph goodnight and then Danny, telling her to rest well. Danny looked up at Maia and tapped her other cheek for a goodnight kiss and they all went to their rooms. Claire clipped the radio to her shorts and heard the crew members give their location and readiness to the bridge. She pulled a t-shirt over her head and pushed her hair into a ponytail. “Claire, are you close? You’re on the aft deck to catch the stern ropes.” “Yes, had a devil of a time getting that dress off, but I’m almost there.” “Thank you for the visual now move your ass, we’re ready.” Claire rolled her eyes and jogged to the aft deck to catch the enormous ropes used to tie the yacht to the dock. When the anchor chains were quiet again, Steven popped up on the ladder and helped with the remaining ropes before descending again when they dropped anchor at the mooring. Claire was grateful for the hard-working crew who would put the boat in order before morning. She was exhausted. “Good job everybody, captain out.” Maia came to the bridge in her pajamas, eating dry cereal out of the box. Darius was writing in his log and kept looking over at her soft pants riding her hips four inches below her belly button. When she lifted the box above her mouth, he watched her breasts bounce under her pj top. “Done!” Darius picked her up as she threw the empty box into the trash on the way to their rooms. As before, Danny held a brunch the next day for Javier, Joseph, Danny, and the four friends. It was a beautiful afternoon in sunny Paris, and Darius did the unthinkable. He gave the crew the day off, postponing their departure until the next day. In New York, Sebastian took the folded paper from his secretary and his eyes bugged out at the picture of Danny in a sleeveless gown toasting a major stockholder and oil investor. “What the bloody hell is going on?” “Get Marvin on the phone, interrupt him, tell him it’s an emergency!” “Marvin! Tell me Johnson is ready to sell before I lose my mind! My mother is up to something and I don’t like it.” Sebastian listened for two minutes, heard his financial manager say Johnson had taken his shares off the table, and the phone slammed into the cradle so hard it shattered. “Goddammit!” He unplugged the phone base and threw it against the wall. The next morning, Jamie and Darius prepared to weigh anchor as the crew covered deck furniture and stowed planters in the plant garage. Ethan and Steven raised the anchors and the mighty engines came to life. Javier and Joseph sipped cold champagne on the deck and marveled at the teamwork required to get them underway. Claire, Danny, and Maia joined them to watch the historic sights and beautiful buildings glide by on their way down the Seine. Claire had mixed feelings about anchoring off Greece again because so much had happened there. Thankfully, there was no party to prepare for and they could act like tourists for the three days Darius and Maia would be onshore visiting family. She told herself to relax and enjoy the time with her godfather. The third night at sea, Danny planned a special dinner on the upper deck for Claire and her family, Jamie, Darius, and Maia. They were served by the crew, and the chef prepared a glorious meal for them to enjoy. Many stories were shared after dinner, and Claire watched Danny talk animatedly with the others. Her jawline was still defined and her neck showed no drooping skin, in fact, she was aging quite well but no one would know it because her shoulder-length hair kept her best parts hidden. She decided it was time for Danny to emerge and wished she had thought of this while still in Paris. She would talk to Danny at her first opportunity, which was later that evening when she was reading in the saloon along with Javier and Joseph. “Danny, I would love to treat you to a new hairstyle. What do you say to a girl’s day out in Athens?” “I am quite comfortable with my hair, as awful as it is. I’m not comfortable risking a bad haircut. How about facials and pedicures?” “Okay, that would be fine, I guess. I’m on shift in the wheel room in two hours, so I’m going to lie down for a bit. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Claire needed Jamie’s help for this and found him watching a rerecorded game in their room. She snuggled up to him and whispered she needed a favor. The game flicked off before her sentence was finished. “I am trying to talk Danny into a new hairstyle, something more modern, but she’s afraid of having a bad haircut until it grows out. You could draw her face and put different hairstyles on her, right?” “There is a very high price for such a service Sassenach, but I’d be happy to break it down into installments if you like.” He pulled her down on the mattress and kissed her until she forgot who Danny was. Through the night, while Claire was on shift, Jamie sat in his studio and rendered Danny’s face with three hairstyles he found on the internet. He jogged to their bed to grab four hours of sleep before his last shift of this leg. Darius was getting more uptight by the minute as they cruised toward Athens. He and Maia would visit their family for three days, so Jamie assumed this mood was family-related. “I’ve been wanting to ask you, it’s none of my business, but I’ll ask anyway. When we were at the jewelry store in Jamaica buying the necklace for Maia, you said you had two grand to your name, remember?” Darius shot him a dark look. “What did you do with your earnings then?” “You couldn’t be more right, it’s none of your business.” “I think I know the answer, but I’d like to hear it from you.” “Me and Maia have all we need while on the yacht, so I send the bulk of my pay home, to my family and hers. The economy is poor, very few good jobs, low pay, no assistance. My two brothers live in the same house as my sister, her husband, and their baby. They need every penny.” “I always knew you were a good man, Darius. What are you forty, forty-five years old?” “I’m twenty-seven asshole, and I don’t need a lecture about robbing Maia from the cradle. ” Jamie ducked as wadded paper was launched at his head and the bantering took the edge off of Darius’s mood. The anchors hit the seabed close to Athens, where the fishing was good for both pole and speargun. Darius and Maia said goodbye and got into a boat brought by Darius’s brother and it sped away. Javier and Joseph were gleefully setting up their fishing lines and sipping beer in chilled glasses. They now had a partner in crime. The chef was crazy about fishing and kept the men within arms reach of food and beer while they enjoyed the day. Jamie felt soft arms come around his waist from behind and twisted his body to put Claire under the shower water. He kissed her under the stream and felt a ravenous hunger ignite in his groin. They could take their time today, he realized, and broke his kiss to wash her hair. “It’s time for a whisky, love. Be a good girl and stay here, I have some things to discuss with you.” When Jamie left to fetch the whisky bottle, Claire went out to the deck with her nail kit and put a fresh coat of polish on her fingernails. Jamie set a whisky in front of her and watched the process with mild interest. He stood behind her and pulled the string holding her bikini top on, letting it fall to the deck, then he carried her to a lounge. Claire kept her hands in the air so he wouldn’t smudge the polish, and Jamie smiled wickedly at her. “Let me pamper you, love. Give me your foot.” He found all kinds of creams and scrubs in her caddy and settled on a soothing gel that he applied to her feet, calves, and thighs, covering an inch at a time very slowly. He massaged her inner thighs until she was panting, taking care not to touch her most intimate places. This was about seduction, and that required a soft touch. Pulling her foot into his lap, he sat down on the deck and held up bottles of polish until she picked one. The hours he had watched her manicure her toes paid off when he brought out each tool for cuticles, filing, and smoothing. When the paint rolled onto her toenails, he could see her thighs quivering slightly and smiled with his bowed head. When the first foot was done, he licked from her knee to her core, pulling her bikini bottom to the side and pulling his soft, wet tongue up her fold. The fabric was returned to normal and he grabbed the other foot for the same treatment while she panted and tried to slow her heart rate. It took an excruciatingly long time to paint five toenails and drink two shots of whisky. Claire was growling with need and gave her love a warning look to finish what he started. It took another hour but finish he did and they curled up on the lounge for a happy siesta. By mid-afternoon, Claire found Javier, Joseph, and the chef, drunk, sunburned, and deliriously happy. To her surprise, Danny had joined them and was holding two of their poles with lines in the water. She greeted Claire with a happy smile, so excited to be fishing. “Claire! Look, I am fishing for my supper, isn’t that fantastic? I haven’t caught a single fish yet, but I am determined.” Javier looked at Joseph and asked if he baited the hooks to which Joseph raised his shoulders and giggled. “Oh, for heaven’s sake. Give me a pole Danny so I can check your hook.” Soon there was a spinning lure attached to the line and cast far into the water. Claire handed the pole back to Danny with a warning that the fish were large and might pull the pole out of her hands if she wasn’t ready. Danny squealed with delight and watched the water with anticipation. Claire baited the other hook and sat next to Danny, trying to ignore the loud snoring of the three men who were now sleeping in the shade. Claire’s pole jerked violently, and she heard the line running out as the fish dove deep to get away from the hook. She counted five seconds and pushed the lock on the reel, almost losing the pole when it jerked back hard. Danny dropped her pole in her excitement to help Claire, and it jerked on the deck when another fish swallowed her hook and then tried to get away. Fortunately, the pole was pulled along the deck sideways and got caught by rail mountings so they didn’t lose it. Both women were screaming and laughing, trying to reel in the first fish. Jamie’s head jerked up hearing the chaos outside. His book forgotten, he ran to the deck and watched Claire and Danny pull the same pole, losing themselves in laughter. He grabbed the other pole and demonstrated how to reel and pull the fish, but they were hopelessly lost in their fun. He felt the fish release his line and swim to freedom while he reeled in the hook and set the pole aside to help Claire. From behind Claire, he moved her hands, holding them still while the fish ran the line out again, and then pulling up sharply to set the hook deeper. Danny held onto the pole like it was a lifeline while she bent over laughing. When the fish was exhausted, Jamie had them walk the pole and fish along the side deck where he could net the beautiful sunfish that would feed them that night. Claire and Danny jumped around the aft deck, lost in their celebration. Jamie made quick work of gutting the fish and cutting away the parts that were unusable. The chef roared from the side deck to stop as Jamie was about to throw the head far from the boat. “That head will make the best fish head soup!” The chef took command of the fillets and head and left them for the galley, very excited at their catch. Danny showed Claire how to wash with soap and then cut lemon sections to rid the skin of the fishy smell. Danny went to lie down until dinner and the crew was cleaning the main saloon, so Claire went outside to fetch her godfather and Joseph off the deck. They went down to their rooms to tend their sunburned skin and nap. Jamie pulled Claire to their rooms and closed the door before pushing a button that pulled the blackout shades down the massive windows. He pulled Claire to the bed and suggested a movie to which she happily agreed. “This is a classic that I found in the video library upstairs. I think you will really like it.” Claire cuddled up to Jamie when the movie started and was well into the story before it suddenly heated up with erotic scenes between two lovers. She couldn’t pull her eyes away as the characters showed body parts she didn’t expect to see. Jamie watched her face flush as the scenes became more erotic and he chuckled, suggesting they watch something else. “No! I mean, don’t you want to see how it ends?” “As you say, love.” Claire lost herself in the beautiful actors and for the first time, watched a woman making love as her breasts bounced with the pounding. The woman’s inner thighs looked so soft as she spread them for the man’s mouth moving toward her core. When the sex got rough, Claire’s panting was giving her arousal away. “Should we find another, sweetheart?” Jamie pulled her in front of him, between his legs, and pressed her back against his chest in a relaxed posture. Claire was hypnotized by the sex scenes and hardly noticed Jamie pulling her feet to the sides to open her legs. When he touched her, it was like a firebomb to kindling and he gave her all the thrills she had just seen. When they collapsed, gasping for breath, Claire was panting out “how” and “why” and certain unintelligible words making Jamie chuckle. “It takes a bit of work the second time in the same day, love.” “Wow, that was… wow.” After another shower, they finally stumbled to the table for dinner and Jamie was still chuckling at her deer in the headlight eyes. She needed help to come back to the here and now, even though he loved her expression and blush. “Sassenach, how do you like the fish you girls caught today?” “Hmm?” “The fish, how do you like it?” Claire looked at her plate like she just realized she was chewing food. “It’s wonderful! I really love it.” She and Danny started talking about the next party, and Jamie knew she was back on earth. He missed his starry-eyed wife instantly. They shared a closeness for the rest of the evening and he cuddled her in their bed that night wanting to hold her close all night long, but that was not going to happen. Jamie’s eyes would not close, his breathing would not deepen, and his mind felt like a pinball game in play. He rolled quietly out of bed and made his way to the studio. A painting was clamoring to get out, and he felt the crushing responsibility to get it right.   Sunrise filled the studio with light as the third canvas was sent to the failure-closet, so named that very night because it had not happened to him before. He went to his sketch pad to work out the dimensional issues and used colored pencils to test the color differences. If he couldn’t find the skill to paint it accurately, he wouldn’t do it. It was that important. Jamie knew Claire would be up soon and he wasn’t ready to share this picture yet, so he put his drawings away and put the five-lads on the easel, then he went to snuggle with his wife. Claire hugged Javier for a full minute, and then Joseph. She wiped a tear off her cheek and smiled bravely wishing them a good flight back to Paris. They both turned in their seat and waved as the taxi pulled away. “Darius and Maia return tomorrow and then we weigh anchor for strange places Sassenach. Perhaps the three of us sit on the deck today and fish. What do you say?” Danny jumped to fetch whatever Claire needed that afternoon. She could feel her melancholy, and her maternal instincts took over. At least until the first pole nearly bent in half from a monster fish that latched onto Jamie’s hook. The women abandoned their poles to render aid that was not needed, and Jamie tried to reach his pocket when he felt his phone vibrate. It was hopeless reaching through the women’s glee, so he held his pole out to the side with one hand and clicked to answer the call. “What the hell is going on over there?” “Two excited women helping me boat a fish, but it could be long gone by now because I can’t feel the pole move anymore. What’s up?” Jamie listened to the instructions given, “on my way.” Handing the pole to Claire, he excused himself to tender Darius back to the yacht, and Claire looked confused when the pole was no longer bouncing. It was obvious Darius was hurt and Jamie helped him into the tender without commenting on his bulging eye that was swollen shut, his bloody mouth, or his arm held tightly to his side. “Hospital?” Darius shook his head, “boat.” Darius crept into the saloon hoping to make it upstairs before anyone saw him but the stairs were impossible. He turned around to use the elevator and heard Claire’s voice as he winced from his broken ribs. “Don’t you fucking move, Darius.” She led him to the galley by his good hand and pulled his sunglasses off while he voiced his complaint. Claire grabbed the emergency kit, a frozen steak, and led him up to his rooms. He couldn’t lay down because the position drove the broken ribs into his lungs so Claire cleaned the wounds as best she could. “I didn’t know you had such a crush on me, Claire.” “Shut up, you idiot. What happened to you?” “I don’t want to talk about it.” Jamie found Danny cleaning up the fishing gear and looking worried. “He probably told you to leave him alone, and while that works most of the time, it will not work today. Maia knows what to do so get her back here so she can help him. Jamie, please do this.” Jamie was naturally resistant to Danny’s gift, but he heard the edge in her voice and reached for his phone. Twenty minutes later, a wide-eyed Maia was climbing into the tender asking how bad the injuries were. She interrupted his explanation saying she could swim faster than he was going so he pushed the tender to its limit and soon they were flying across the water. Maia could hear Claire arguing with Darius as she approached their rooms and kindly asked Claire to wait downstairs. She glanced at Darius and saw his tears of pain and frustration. So she helped Claire exit the room and locked the door behind her. Claire could hear them talking and ripping packages of emergency supplies. She was terrified and crying, having never seen anyone fresh from a brutal fight. Jamie put his arm around her and led her downstairs where the three of them waited in the saloon to hear more about his injuries. Maia cleaned the wounds, wrapped his ribcage, and slapped his good hand when he tried to loosen the ace bandage constricting his breath. She pushed a pain pill into his mouth and moved her finger along the base of his teeth searching for a loose wiggle. Ten minutes later he could lie down, gingerly. She knelt next to the bed and put her head down, fighting the tears she didn’t want Darius to see. His good hand stroked her hair, and he whispered to her that everything was alright. When she gave in to the sobs, he held her as best he could and reminded her he was the captain with a job to do and she was expected to help him for a little while. “Darius, of course I will. I’ll pull the boat with my bare hands if you ask me to!” She held his hand against her cheek and searched his face, feeling relief when he smiled at her. “It’s alright,” he said, stroking her hair. “My face scared you, but you patched me up with a steady hand, and now you need to cry a bit. It’s okay to cry, and then I wonder if you might tell the others what happened so we can all shake it off and depart in two days.” Maia could see he was asleep and covered him before going downstairs. Her eyes were puffy from crying and nothing would change that, so she walked into the saloon and told them what happened. “Darius sends most of his pay to his family and mine. His sister lives in a small house with her baby and husband, and Darius’s two brothers moved in a year ago because they were homeless. Darius said the house was a horrible mess. The front door had been kicked in, glass was missing from windows, the baby was crawling through filth. His sister is afraid of the brothers who spent all the money Darius has sent. Her husband leaves on Monday to work on Mykonos and he is gone all week. Darius ordered them out of the house and called the husband, telling him to walk off the job and come home to protect his family. Darius said he would cover his pay. They jumped him and beat the shit out of him.” Maia looked up, “sorry for my language. He has a job to do and I will help him. We leave in two days, nothing has changed.” Danny held her hand up to stop Maia and seemed to struggle with the right words. “I know it’s hard for the four of you to accept my gift, and I don’t talk about it much, but I have to tell you something. Darius suffered an impact to his abdomen, a kick I think, and his spleen is bleeding. I can see it bleeding and it might have to come out. If I could get close to him I will know for sure. This could threaten his life, so we shouldn’t wait. Please wake him and ask if I can see him, Maia.” “C’mon.” When Darius didn’t wake up right away, Maia got scared and shouted at him. She squeezed his hand and apologized. “Is the boat on fire, sweets?” “No. Darius, were you kicked in the stomach?” “No.” He closed his eyes again and Maia muttered about Danny being wrong as she walked to the door. “Maia, yes, I was kicked in the stomach, several times. Why?” “Danny needs to see you. Something about your spleen is bleeding. Can I let her in, please?” “Yes.” Danny entered and reached for his hand, looking concerned. He watched her. “I can’t tell if it’s going to stop. We can go to the hospital now or I can check you later.” “Check later if you would, I don’t like hospitals.” “Alright, dear Darius.”   Danny left and Maia sat on the floor and put her head near his on the mattress. She stroked his arm until she was sure he was asleep again. “I love you so much, Darius.” “I love you too, sweet one.” Jamie and Claire finally said goodnight and Danny went to the elevator and her rooms. All through the night, she monitored Darius, sneaking into their room to lay her hand on his foot. On one visit, she put a blanket around Maia and pulled the covers around Darius. Her last visit was at five o’clock in the morning. She kept her hand on his foot because she wanted to be sure. “You did it, young man,” she whispered, “no splenectomy for you, so kindly put your cape back on, and save the day… when you’re ready.” Danny was exhausted and desperately wanted to lie down on her bed. She rode the elevator down to her floor and held the wall as she walked. She was proud of Darius for his decision to heal. Later, Jamie spent some time with Darius and he was particularly sarcastic and funny because Darius begged him to stop making him laugh. Jamie decided that was enough painful levity for one day and left, grabbing Maia in the hall. “Maia, I have spent too much time with Darius and I don’t want to wake him up. He asked me to alert the authorities that his sister should be alone in the house waiting for her husband, but he didn’t give me the address.” Jamie pulled a notepad out of his pocket and had a pen poised to write it down. He started to move down the hall like he was in a hurry and raised his eyebrows at her. She gushed the address out and then went into their rooms. Jamie pushed the pad into his pocket and went downstairs with a face that could murder a man just looking at it. After dinner, Jamie pulled Claire into their rooms and made passionate love to her. She mumbled something about her jello legs as she slipped into her dreams. He waited until she was deep enough not to feel him roll out of bed or hear him dress. He jumped in the tender and paddled halfway to shore to avoid waking anyone. He had a mission to complete before they left in the morning. Danny stood in the dark saloon and watched Jamie paddle the tender. She was conflicted about raising the alarm or letting it happen. She whispered, “forgive me, Jamie,” and went back to bed. Jamie leaned against a large tree and dozed for half the night, waiting for the brothers. He would bet his last dollar they hadn’t left and Jamie knew the husband would not be back until the next day. His head jerked up hearing the drunken laughter of two men approaching. They staggered toward the sister’s house and Jamie cleared his throat to make them turn around.   One of them addressed him in what sounded like gutter slang and Jamie smiled like an altar boy and pulled his wallet out. The men approached so Jamie lowered the wallet so they would see the large bills he thumbed through as he talked about paying them off to stay away from the sister. He was not getting through to them so he said, “Darius,” and waited. One of them shoved a fist in Jamie’s face.   “We take your money and drop you in the deep ocean. No worry, you be dead.”   Jamie’s eyes were wide with fright and he backed into the tree with his hands in a defensive position. They were smiling at each other coming toward him when Jamie suddenly stood upright and laughed, stopping them in their tracks.   “Oh! I.. I know who you two are, you beat the shit out of my friend, your own brother!” He was still laughing while the men shot glances at each other. “You know, Darius said you guys fight dirty.” More laughter. “What a relief! Because so do I.”   Jamie jumped up and grabbed a tree limb, driving his feet into one man’s face. He dropped to the ground and pulled his jacket off showing the second man his sleeveless t-shirt and the bulging muscles in his arms. Before the man could run, he grabbed his long greasy hair, and drove his knee into his back, flipped him around and pummeled his face until the man collapsed on the ground.   Jamie grabbed the last of the rope he brought and wound it around the man’s legs. Both of them were tied to different trees with no possibility of escape. Jamie hoped the husband would be the first to find them. He pushed a note under the ropes and put his jacket back on. He had a naked wife waiting for him in a big warm bed. He headed for the tender. Danny thrashed in her bed, having one hell of a nightmare. She saw men fighting and one of them run away. Suddenly, the man stopped and looked directly at her, “it’s alright Danny, I won, rest now,” came the echo of his disembodied voice. Her eyes flew open and she sat up in her bed, gasping for air. She felt the presence of Jamie above her and sighed her relief as she dropped back to her pillows, feeling much better.

[etlunainmorte]

"I have,... something for you." He said as he grabbed something from his bag. You eagerly waited as he searched, and when he finally handed you a pack of popcorn, you couldn't help but smile.

"You bought this, V?" You asked him as the smell of butter reached your nostrils.

"Yes. We haven't finished Endgame, have we?"

"Come to think of it, no, we haven't." You admitted.

V smiled as he reached for his bag once more, producing a stuffed tiger from it and giving it to you, reminding you of,...

"Is this,... did you win this at the carnival?"

V proudly hummed. "I have,... quite a skill with,... should we say,... sniping?"

Oh, God, he remembered! You happily thought. He remembered I have a really bad aim and couldn't win the stuffed tiger at the carnival.

"And that's not all." V said.

"Hmm?"

"I went fishing."

"Oh, you did?! What happened?"

"I caught a boot."

"YOU DIDN'T!"

V laughed, the sound of his low voice sending warmth all throughout your whole body. In fact, you have never felt so warm in your entire life. And when he handed you a single boot from his bag just for laughs, you fell in love with him all over again.

"I - I never thought this is possible, oh my!" You confessed through fits of laughter, however, at this point, the smile on V's face vanished. You noticed this and went silent as he took the boot from your hands and upended it, making a small velvet box the color of your eyes fall from it. Then, he went down on one knee and opened the box, revealing the most beautiful ring with an emerald attached to it.

"(Y/N) (L/N)," V declared. " ... will you marry me?"

***

I See My Future Before Me - The ENDing

***

***

There really was a wedding, yes. And a most memorable one, at that.

All of your friends and loved ones came to the small, and yet special, event. Together, you celebrated the most important day of your life.

The wedding took place in a small, charming garden where V's favorite flowers bloomed. Kyrie, Lady, Trish, and Patty all helped you to choose the perfect wedding gown. Unfortunately, the ones they chose for you didn't feel comfortable on your skin ( Kyrie's being too covered, Lady's being too flashy, Trish's showed too much skin, and Patty's looked a bit too modern for your own taste ). Nico, Alicia, and Cagliostro all helped with the decorations. Petya supervised the buffet, even helped you and V choose the perfect menu ( from the sumptuous appetizer down to the luscious dessert ), and Natasha volunteered to be the wedding singer ( she made it sound like you don’t have any choice and she even refused to say she's hyped up about being a first - time wedding singer ). Dante, by the way, was thoughtfully shoved to the side by Nero, who knew full well that his uncle would only mess things up and destroy everything should he decide to help with anything, at all. The younger Devil Hunter, on the other hand, was tasked to usher the guests to the venue. Morrison graciously volunteered to call for one of the Ministers from Swan Lane, the neighboring city of Red Grave, where most of the state's churches were. Griffon ( who still swore too much ) and Shadow ( who looked far too old carrying around an Elmo plush ) were forced to take literacy, manners, and etiquette one - oh - one crash courses, courtesy of the haughty Miss Natasha, herself, for the social event. Little Eva was chosen to be the flower girl, and Sister Christina was chosen to be the Matron Of Honor.

And so, on the eleventh of May that one, bountiful and beautiful year, you and V were married.

V, who had his waist - length snowy white hair cut for the special event, waited for you at the arc of azaleas and white roses, his Best Man, Nero, who was wearing his grandfather's coat and tie ( which he honestly detested ) for the event, standing just next to him.

A few moments later, the bride, on the arms of the Best Man, Dante, who was forced to wear his father's coat and tie ( which he honestly detested ), finally came, making heads turn around in awe and wonder.

Dressed in a sheer, form - fitting immaculate, white gown with floral patterns made of silk and lace, and with a long chiffon train that brushed the carpet of flowers that led towards the arc, you walked towards your one, true love, who was waiting for you.

His eyes wide with love and adoration, and his heart pounding with excitement, V watched as you walked, your serene movements and perfect poise catching the eyes of him, and everybody else.

His breath was,... simply taken away. And no one could blame him.

For, now, standing next to him and lovingly looking up at him was the most beautiful bride he has ever seen.

And she will be together with him, at last!

Dante reluctantly, and with a visible pout, gave your hand to V's waiting one, and the ceremony finally began.

Vows of eternal love and devotion were exchanged, rings were exchanged, heavily rogued cheeks were stained with running mascara, manly sobs were heard all over the place, teary eyes were wiped with handkerchiefs of all forms and colors, noses were sniffed unto handkerchiefs of all forms and colors, even the Minister tried so hard to conceal his emotions.

And with that much awaited kiss, the crowd went all wild and emotional with celebration.

There was dancing ( Trish and Lady took the center stage and wowed the audience ), partying ( Nero isolated the pouty Dante and drank whiskey with him, instead ), games ( Patty and Nico managed to beat Griffon and Shadow in almost every game, except for the paper dance, where the familiars cheated and used their powers to win ), photo ops ( strangely enough, people were all drawn to Nightmare because they thought it was a very realistic - looking sculpture, and chose to have selfies with it instead of the newly wed couple, making its multiple photos viral on social media ), and, of course, the much awaited feast ( Petya fed the guests until they were satisfied and beyond, making sure that they would leave the event with bulging stomachs ), and the amazing five - foot ( not five – tier ) wedding cake decorated with fondants of azalea and white roses ( which V, who was secretly a huge cake and sweets fanatic, was gladly able to fully take home with you, the guests being so full because of Petya that they weren't able to partake of the dessert, at all ).

Ahh, truly, it was the most amazing day ever.

And that amazing day was followed by weeks of blessedness, months of fruitfulness, and years and years of prosperity.

All beside your dear, darling, and faithful husband.

However, those years, despite being happy and full, took a toll on your body.

"Happy anniversary, my love." V greeted you that one, sunny morning, kissing you on the forehead and offering you your breakfast in bed.

"What a surprise! Thank you, V." You answered as you allowed him to hold your wrinkled hand.

"Anything for my one, true love." The man whispered to your ear.

However, no matter how happy you looked, no matter how many times you showed him your smile, he knew you were anything but.

And he knew why.

Standing in front of a mirror after that hearty breakfast, the two of you looked at each other's reflection, just like what you've always done every morning since the beginning of your married life.

"You,... look so handsome." You said as you gazed at your husbands features.

"And you, my dear," V exclaimed as he lovingly took your hands in his and placed a tender kiss on them. " ... you are the most gorgeous person I have ever seen."

To this, you chuckled and simply shook your head. "You're lying."

"I'm not!" V chuckled as he tried to kiss your cheek. However, his face fell when you took your hands from him and turned away. "(Y/N)?"

"Yes?" You asked monotonously as you took away the dishes and placed them on the sink.

"Tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing's wrong - "

"(Y/N), I know something has been bothering you." V urged. "Tell me, please."

You chuckled and turned to him.

But, your eyes,...

... they didn't look cheerful, at all.

"There is nothing wrong, V."

There was a moment of silence after those questionable words you just uttered, and after those tense seconds, he walked closer to you, tried to hold your hands, and touch your face.

But, still, you wouldn't let him.

With your back still turned away from him, you finally let out those thoughts, those,... fears,... that have been crushing you all those years ago.

"Leave me, V." You simply said.

And this alarmed the poet. "What?! I'm not going to leave you, (Y/N)! I promised you! I will NOT,... LEAVE YOU!"

With tear - stained eyes, you finally looked at him. And this only confirmed V's worst fears.

"Look at me!" You said to him in such a broken voice that wrecked the poet's heart. "I'm old! And wrinkled! And,... not me!"

"But, I love you, (Y/N),..."

"And look at you! Still,... s - still so young and strong and,... "

"(Y/N),..."

"We don't look,... okay together! You can't go on loving,... a grandma like me!"

"Listen to me, please,..."

"V, I love you too, I really do. But, I have to let you go. You still have a wonderful and long life ahead of you."

In a futile attempt to make you listen to him, V tried, once more, to hold your hands.

And you still refused. And this made him beyond depressed.

So, just like that, he left.

And you haven't seen him in three days.

Of course, you were sad upon this separation but, you have to accept that you can't be together with V now. He has a life ahead of him. He could even move on and be with another person should he decide it.

V,... deserved so much more.

But, being all alone,...

... it made you so, so sad,...

And as you woke up that morning without him by your side, you couldn't help but let out the tears of sadness and heartbreak.

Wiping your tears away with your fragile hands, you cried, "I miss you so much, V,..."

"Mom!" The door suddenly opened and in came your daughter, Avery ( now a very proud mother of twins who looked exactly like Dante and Vergil when they were little ), who looked so, so happy despite this dreary situation. She noticed your pitiful state and came forward, giving you a tender hug and a pat on the back. "Oh, mom. Don't cry. We're here for you."

"Oh, dear,..." You went on, letting your emotions out on your sweet daughter. "It's just that,... I missed your father so, so much."

"Oh, mommy,..." Avery sighed. "Alright. You should get dressed. We're going somewhere."

"What? Why? Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise!" She said, taking your hand and making you get out of bed. "Come on!"

And so, you let yourself be led by Avery and her husband, Roman, towards that old garden where you and V got married many, many years ago.

Thinking it was a really bad joke, you said, "You two are gonna give me a heart attack. Please, tell me what's going on."

"We have a surprise for you, mom." Avery said excitedly.

"This way." Roman said, gesturing towards the gazebo where you and V danced on your wedding day.

"What is this, really?" You, being an old and cranky person, asked one more time.

Avery simply rolled her eyes. "I told you! It's a surprise!"

"It's our gift to you." Roman, who was the softer of the couple, answered. Then, with tender hands, he gently led you towards the gazebo.

"Dear, I'm too old for these surprises." You told Roman along the way. "Won't you have any mercy to me?"

"Haha! Well, I'm pretty sure you'll love this." The man made you turn towards the gazebo, and what you saw there made you feel really strange. "Happy anniversary, mom."

The moment you heard the simple greeting from the young man, another man, who looked the same age as you ( or even older ) turned towards you, smiling at you as if you were his long lost lover, or something. It seemed as though he has been sitting there inside the gazebo, waiting for you for a while.

In fact, his gorgeous green eyes never left yours.

"Ahh, can I,... ahh,... help you with something?" You asked the old man as you entered the gazebo.

However, he didn't answer you. Instead, he stood up from his chair, leaning against a metal cane, and took out a very familiar – looking, worn out book. He opened it, and smirked,...

"I,... have no name." His voice, despite it cracking a bit, sounded clear and beautiful. And oh so heartbreaking. "I' am,... but two days old,...

“Just kidding. You can call me, V.”

You giggled at the poem, finally realizing who this man was.

Of course! How were you able to not notice?!

"Y - you're anything but two days old!" You laughed, feeling your tears leave your tired, burning eyes.

The old man chuckled, his beautiful green eyes gleaming with so much mirth and gladness. Then, he went on reading.

"Little Lamb,... who made thee,... dost thou know,... who made thee? Gave thee life,... and bid thee feed. By the stream,... and o'er the mead. Gave thee clothing of delight,... softest clothing,... wooly bright. Gave thee,... such a tender voice,... making all the vales rejoice! Little Lamb,... who made thee,... dost thou know,... who made thee?"

The old man, still relying on his old metal cane for support, walked towards you and softly laid his hand on your face.

To him, you were still,... the most beautiful woman on earth,...

You were crying so much but, still, he went on reading despite his blurry eyes. "I went to the Garden of Love,... and saw what I never had seen: a Chapel was built in the midst,... where I used to play on the green. And the gates of this Chapel were shut,... and thou shalt not writ over the door. So, I turned to the Garden of Love,... that so many sweet flowers bore."

"Azaleas." You said as you laid your hand on his. "And white roses."

"Yes, azaleas and white roses." The man answered as he wrapped you in his arms. "You remembered my favorite flowers, my love."

"Why would I forget about that, V?"

"Ahh,... I'm such a fool,..."

You shook your head as you let the old and wrinkled poet wipe away your tears. Just like how he did it whenever you cried from watching your favorite sad movies. "You're not a fool, V! Never. But,... why? How did you - ?"

"I gave the Sisters to the twins." V answered your obvious question.

"Dante and Vergil?"

"Yes. It's about time I pass them on, after all."

"But, what about you? You'll - !"

"Ssh. It's alright." V hugged you as he rubbed your back. "Power,... means nothing me,... without you by my side. I'd rather wilt away like an old rose in the Garden Of Love than live without you, (Y/N). I love you,... so much,..." Gently touching your cheeks, he, then, said, "May I have the honor of this dance,... my lady?"

And dance, you did. Just like the first time you met in that Grecian balcony.

Now, could you honestly deny this feeling of happiness with him by your side?

You and your beloved poet lived a few more years after that sweet and heartfelt reunion. And during those sweet, and yet short, years, you did everything you could think of to fill your days with happiness and adventure. And love, of course.

The two of you went to the carnival and ate junk food ( meaning popcorn, caramel apples, cotton candies, and such ). V tried so hard to win that stuffed tiger for you again by sniping ( he didn't win the plush, he won the Complete Elvis Presley Album Collection, instead ). You traveled as much as you can to many places ( with Griffon and Shadow as your two personal assistants, always there to remind you should the two of you forget where you last placed your dentures ). You went out fishing ( the boot myth was real ). And you binge watched all of your favorite movies, from LaLaLand, to Titanic, to Dracula ( you purchased digital copies of these and V kept them in his trusty one terabyte USB where he kept all of his poetry audio and eBooks ).

Those few years were simply,...the best years of your life.

But those few years,... were sadly too short,...

For there came a time when V started to forget some things. Little things, yes but, really noticeable ones, nonetheless. Not to mention his already deteriorating body. And this worried you.

Especially during that one particularly cloudy day when, out of the blue, V asked you to watch a movie with him.

"What movie would you like to see, my love?" You asked.

He opened his mouth to answer but, no words came out. You knew he has forgotten. He has forgotten his favorite movie and he was aware of this, as well but, he tried not to show it. And you couldn't blame him. He,... just aged faster than you after giving up the Sisters Of Fate's powers. 

He simply took your hand and said, "Anything you wish,... my love."

As much as it worried you, you did nothing but to lead him straight to your humble living room in your small Swan Lane house where you and your family spent a lot of time watching all of your favorite shows and movies. But, not before calling Avery, Roman, Nero, Kyrie, and Nico ( Dante, Trish, and Lady were not able to come that day due to an emergency in Red Grave that they must attend to ). Even Griffon and Shadow were present.

Taking Griffon's hand, you told the loyal familiar, "Come with us, please."

Without a word, the demon nodded and followed you and V towards the living room. Griffon closed the door, but not before seeing the worried faces of your friends and loved ones.

"Come on, Dante and Vergil." The familiar heard Eva, Nero and Kyrie's daughter, say to the little twins as she took their chubby hands, leading them to their play rooms along with Shadow. Griffon turned away and finally closed the door. It was then that he saw you and V already huddled together on the sofa as the poet's favorite movie started playing on the old television.

As carefully as he could, the thoughtful familiar placed the wool blanket, which he has been carrying around since morning for his master, over V's body to protect his body from the cold.

“Thank you, Griffon.” The familiar barely heard V say. “For,… everything.”

Just from the other side of the room, Griffon could hear the weather forecast being broadcasted on the radio. Apparently, a storm really was coming, according to the reporter. And according to the same reporter, the storm came from Red Grave, of all places, where Dante, Trish, and Lady were taking care of something.

But, he's not involved in it this time.

For he,... was needed by the two most important people in his life, one of them needing him the most,...

And so, the movie ensued, despite the bad weather outside.

"There was a boy,... a very strange, enchanted boy. They said he wandered very far,... very far,... over land and see,..."

"Don't be fooled! Evil!"

"A little shy,..."

"Turn away from this village of sin!"

"And sad of eye,... but, very wise,... was he,... And then, one day,... A magic day he passed,... my way,... And while we spoke of many things, Fools and Kings,... this he said to me:

"The greatest thing,...

You'll ever learn,...

Is just to love,...

And be loved in,...

... return,..."

"I - it's Moulin Rouge!" V wheezed as he grabbed your hand in his excitement. Just like the sixth or twenty - third time he's seen it. "My favorite movie. (Y/N), dear, you remembered!"

"Of course, I do, my love." You answered.

For a few more minutes, V's green eyes watched, in awe and wonder, the wonderful colors jumping before him on the screen. He tried to say along the lines he could still remember, and sing along to the familiar tunes of the musical.

However, there was one song you knew V truly wanted to hear.

His most favorite song,...

"On Opening Night, I have to sleep with the Duke. And the jealousy will drive you mad."

"Then, I'll write a song - "

"Christian - "

" ... and whenever you hear it, or sing it, or whistle it, or hum it, then you'll know it'll mean we love one another. I won't get jealous."

"Things don't work that way, Christian. We have to end it."

"I,... want to sing it." V muttered. "Could you,... please,... sing it with me?"

"Yes, of course." You answered without hesitation.

"Never knew I could feel like this. Like I've never seen the sky before. Want to vanish inside your kiss. Seasons may change, winter to spring, but I love you until the end of time.

Come what may,...

Come what may,...

I will love you until my dying day.

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place. Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace. Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste. It all revolves around you. And there's no mountain too high, no river too wide. Sing out this song, and I'll be there by your side. Storm clouds may gather, and stars may collide.

But I love you,...

I love you,...

Until the end of time,...

Come what may,...

Come what may,...

I will love you,..."

"The greatest thing,..."

"Oh, God, V!" You held your beloved's hand in yours as your tears flowed out of your eyes. "I love you,... so much,..."

" ... you'll ever learn,..."

"I,... love you,..." V weakly sang, his voice getting softer and softer, his eyes never leaving yours for even a second. "Until the end,… of,… time,..."

" ... is just to love,... "

Griffon's eyes widened at that exact moment. He, then, looked down and took one of his master's hands in his as he heard your heartbreaking sobs.

" ... and be loved in,... "

It was,... cold.

" ... return."

It was then that his own tears fell,... for the very first time.

Griffon, a Demon, cried,... for the very first time.

"Rest well," He whispered as he wrapped an arm around his master's body. " ... Shakespeare."

And there's no mountain too high, no river too wide. Sing out this song, and I'll be there by your side. Storm clouds may gather, and stars may collide.

But I love you,...

I love you,...

Until the end of time,...

"He,... wasn't able to see his favorite scene." You whispered to Griffon, who, like you, refused to leave V's side after the movie has long ended.

"It doesn't matter, sweet pea." Griffon answered, his voice raw with emotion. "He was able to tell you how he felt, and that's what's truly important."

And it truly was the most important thing. V was able to tell you how he felt. You cherished those words from that day onward, always remembering how V lived as a man of honor and dignity, as a loving father, a very supportive grandparent, and as a truly devoted husband.

The mysterious man called V, who was so fond of poetry, of flowers freshly blooming in the morning, of artful grace, and of the simplest things in life,...

... was never forgotten, his name forever etched into his loved ones' hearts.

His smile,... forever in your memory,...

... until the next storm of the following year that finally brought you into his loving arms,...

At last.

***

🖤 @la-vita and @clevermentalitybeliever . 🖤

***

Many years back, in an Alternate Universe,...

"Miss Edwards,..." V called the woman's attention, slightly running to catch up to her before she could drive away.

Avery fortunately ( and finally ) noticed him and removed her helmet, turning her gaze towards him and appraising him from head to foot. In fact, she looked so surprised that a man such as V was trying to have a conversation with her.

Was it his unusual appearance?

"And you are - ?"

"V." The poet answered, taking a deep breath and leaning on his metal cane for support. He, then, straightened his back and tilted his head to the side. "You can call me V."

"Oh. What can I do for you, V?"

"About the commission - "

"Stop. Right. There." Avery pointed at V, cutting him halfway through his sentence. "If you're planning to take on the Poltergeist at my home, then you're making a HUGE mistake."

Huh? "And may I ask,... why?"

"Furniture floating and smashing about. Disembodied voices in the middle of the night. And your skinny, princess ass begging to be fed and given vitamins. Are you goddamn sure?!"

"I would like,... to see myself try." V simply told her.

The woman raised a scornful eyebrow. She knew that Dante was her one and only hope and choice. No other person in Red Grave could do it but him.

But, this man?

"So, will you take on the job, or not?"

"I would like to,... if you would allow me."

Avery furrowed her eyebrows and regarded him like he was some suicidal maniac begging to be fed to the lion. "Alright. I'll expect you tomorrow, then. Move into the house for a week. Bring whatever or whoever you need. You know my address."

"Would a cat and a bird do?" V innocently asked as he playfully twirled his metal cane in a display of confidence. This woman,... must be taught a lesson.

Avery pursed her lips and wore her helmet once more. "Sure. Whatever. I don't care. Just,... get rid of the ghost for me. I'll pay you. That I can assure you."

And with those words, she finally drove away.

Despite the question strangely bugging him, he was, in fact, feeling excited of this new mission. Yes, Dante might consider it as "small fry" but, facing Poltergeists was definitely a welcome change compared to his boring Devil Hunting routine. And he wanted so much to prove that woman wrong about him.

He was about to go back to the shop to pack what little belongings he have when he noticed Nico staring at him with wide eyes and open mouth. Apparently, she has been standing near the door for quite a while and must have heard the conversation between him and Avery. She almost dropped her groceries as she attempted to close her mouth and control her drooling.

Wait, did she look,... excited?

"Whoa, a paranormal investigation!" The Artisan gasped. "Can I tag along?"

"I don't - "

"Come on, man! Ya gotta let me!" Nico strode closer to him, flailing her arms about and almost sending her groceries flying everywhere. "This is like,... a dream come true for me! Okay, how about this: we'll split the pay 70 - 30. But, I'll be happy with nothing, though, if you don't want 70 - 30! But, come on, that's good deal, yeah?"

"Nico, I - "

"Please? I'll drive you on the way there. I will not be a bother."

V felt cornered. The woman looked really excited that he would surely feel guilty if he refused her.

Him, Griffon, Shadow, probably Nightmare, as well, and finally, Nico.

What could go wrong with this simple task of driving away a single evil spirit from someone's home with some comrades? After all, Avery did say he could bring just about anyone.

And what does her house look like, anyway? And what was the reason behind this Poltergeist's ceaseless haunting?

***

THE END

***

🖤🖤🖤

***

[lunawings]

King of Prism Rose Party 2019 Orchestra Concert (10/13/2019)

So as usual I like to talk about the entire experience of the event to keep a record/help guide people who want to do stuff like this in the future, so if you only want to read about the parts of the show with the voice actors please skip to the end. 

This was intended to be a 2-day event with a concert by the stage actors on the 12th and an orchestra concert on the 13th, but typhoon Hagibis cancelled the live show for the 12th (although it was streamed online) and delayed the 13th. 

I woke up on the morning of the 13th waaaay too early, partially from excitement and partially from adrenaline from the typhoon probably.... 

Also it was a beautiful frikkin day. I don’t know the science of it, but the day after any typhoon is always sunny and just gorgeous. 

If it weren’t for the elderly folk cleaning up the stray leaves and branches from the street you’d have never known what happened the previous night. 

The original plan for the merch was that they would let us line up by 7, hand out tickets by 8, and start selling by 10 so I was planning to get there by at least 6 am originally. But, after the typhoon they announced merch sales would be from 12. Still, I ended up getting there at 8 since it was just so nice outside, I felt like I could use a walk, and because there was no other info I couldn’t help worrying about how things would really go down. The trains weren’t running that morning (or at least JR wasn’t) because they had to ensure the safety of the tracks or whatnot, so the only other people around were also fans that had decided to stay close to the venue. We loitered around awkwardly, every so often asking the staff what was going on only to be told that sales would start from 12 and still no other info. 

But it was dangerous to stray too far away because we all knew there would be that “OK go” moment where we could all get in line, and where you decided to randomly loiter around would determine your position in line. That “OK go” moment finally came at around 11:15, and I ended up in the middle of an incredibly short line of only about 40 people or so. Is this really all there is? We wondered until about 11:30 when the line suddenly quadrupled and we realized ah, I guess the first train got in ahah. 

Waiting in the line was really funny because this event took place during the Rugby World Cup, so there were a lot of bewildered middle-aged white people in rugby shirts just walking by and getting caught up in clouds of King of Prism fangirls. They would always stop and look at us like ?? then casually try and keep walking but then stop again for longer and look at us like what. Haha. Baby boomers were peeking in the windows to see what the heck all these Japanese girls (and one white girl) were lining up for and walking away more confused. 

We thought they would just open sales at 12 like they said and go in order, but actually they handed out tickets anyway so the people who came by train had no disadvantage. (Still, even though it was random I got number 42 which was incredible.) The tickets ended up being kind of a joke though! Usually they call in large groups and you check online to see when your number would be coming up. But instead the guy was like. 

“Okay, ready? Number 1... 2.... 3...!” Hahaha like WHAT! There was an awkward moment where someone had to admit to being number 1 in front of everyone or we couldn’t go in. (People looking around like OK WHAT BITCH PULLED NUMBER 1...)  So I got into merch in roughly the amount of time it takes to slowly count to 42. They had so many registers and so much merch (and less people than usual) so everyone got in and out in like 30 minutes and bought everything they wanted. Incredible. 

I think the only thing that sold out early-ish was the Torachi and Dorachi plushies and they weren’t even event exclusive. 

When the doors opened for the event, people who had the “special” two-day tickets were given the special bonuses that came with them for both days of the event.

I put “special” in quotations because literally everyone there seemed to have the two-day tickets because there were zero people in the other line ahah. But I also guess maybe people with the two-day tickets were more likely to come on Friday like I did and avoided trouble with the trains? I dunno. Anyway.

The bonus for the orchestra concert was a coaster and some rose tea. The bonus for the stage show was a file with some cards in side (I guess they are supposed to be Edel Rose IDs?) one which reveals the stage actors when you turn it a certain way. 

Holding the bonus in my hands which I would have received at the live stage show was the moment it finally hit me what could have been if only the show hadn’t been cancelled... ahhh..... hdldksjf.................

So, the concert. 

It started up with just the orchestra, playing the background music from the movies/anime. Something I never really thought about before was about how the music from the first two movies is kind of non-specific. Like, although I definitely recognized all of it, I had trouble remembering exactly which scene(s) it was from. Meanwhile, although I am less familiar with the background music from SSS since the CD only just came out, there are a lot of songs which are specifically associated with certain characters and certain scenes. Like the music which plays during Leo’s flashback to his childhood, or the music that plays when Minato talks to his parents and decides to go back to Tokyo. 

I used to go to orchestra/wind ensemble concerts all the time as a music student, but somewhere along the way I stopped. (WHY DID I STOP) Still, I haven’t been to many professional orchestra concerts, so I’m not used to things sounding so.... how should I say.... perfect ahah. There were a few times I had to stop and remind myself that this was actually live and not a recording. 

There were a few times when I didn’t feel that need though. Like during the performance of the music which plays during the Schwarz Rose bath scene in SSS episode 1. That violin.... oh..... my...... lord........................... 

As a flutist I have always been eternally confused at how string instruments work. Well I mean, I have held a guitar in my hands and been taught how to make chords so like I know... but still I just don’t know how it is possible to do... THAT...... 

The Schwarz Rose music in general really shook me. I noticed for the first time how few instruments they use compared with the background music for Edel Rose, and yet that makes the mood so much heavier. In addition to the Schwarz Rose stuff, the music they played which really gave me that full body chills experience included the piece from the scene where Hiro becomes Prism King, and all the Rinne/Shine stuff... that was..... oh wow...... I actually gave myself goosebumps again thinking about it.......... (I can kinda understand why they didn’t do a live viewing for this. It probably wouldn’t have been the same.)

So we were allowed to cheer it, but quietly with only one light in each hand. As you can imagine, the atmosphere was quite different with this being an orchestra concert and all. I tried to change colors as little as possible since the clicking just seemed SO LOUD. So I was just gonna keep red the whole time, but then I remembered the DVD so I tried to match everyone to make it look pretty for that. 

But I realized after they will probably show the evening performance on the DVD anyhow because the theater was probably fuller then. Since the trains were down for most of the morning, there were a good amount of empty seats. It was about 85% full when it was supposed to be sold out originally. (But they did offer refunds for people who couldn’t make it.)

So about the voice actors.

Junta Terashima (Shin), Shouta Aoi (Louis), Tasuku Hatanaka (Taiga), Taku Yashiro (Kakeru), Masashi Igarashi (Minato), and Takuma Nagatsuka (Leo) were scheduled to attend. Originally it was just gonna be Shouta and Junta and the others were kinda tacked on later, so they had less to do (they only got to sing once) but of course it was wonderful to have them. 

They first came out on stage while the orchestra was playing but of course we couldn’t cheer or react to them because the orchestra was playing so it was this like silent screaming until we could finally cheer for them hahah. 

They were all wearing suits themed to their character colors except for Shouta Aoi who was wearing this elaborate suit/wedding dress combo with a huge train that kept getting stepped on and caught onto things several times during the show hahah ha.... 

(+one more special guest I’ll talk about later)

When they introduced themselves and we got to Masashi Igarashi, he made such a huge, overblown reaction to the crowd and was like FINALLY! I CAN HEAR YOU! 

(This is because he’s the only one of the voice actors to be in the stage show cast as well, so yesterday he’d performed to an empty concert hall.)

I laughed..... but then felt this intense pang of inconsolable sadness. I hoped the stage actors were all backstage and would come out at the end just as a surprise so we could cheer for them. I WANTED TO CHEER FOR THEM THEY DESERVED IT SO MUCH. WHY.

But they never did..... 

Huaaahhh........................

Well. 

When it was Taku Yashiro’s turn he called out “WANBANKOOOO” to both the girls and guys like Kakeru would do. When it was time for the guys to repeat it I was surprised the response was a lot heartier than I was expecting! Despite being about zero men in the merch line, there were more than I realized at the show. How nice! It always makes me really happy when they call out to girls at Love Live events, so I was really happy for them. 

In the middle they all did a talk session where they played and discussed scenes from the SSS anime where the music was significant. 

And it was weird because.... while they were playing the scenes we all automatically cheered them like we would do in the theater. Except several of the voice actors were RIGHT THERE watching us react to their work. Come to think of it, it may have been a little strange for them to see us cheering for their work as if they weren’t there. It was almost like all walked in on each other naked for a second. I have been trying to think of the best way to describe it and that was all I could come up with ahaha....

When they showed Brilliant Oath I wasn’t sure if we were supposed to sing or not? I think they really wanted us to sing but people were afraid to. So I was mouthing the words really exaggeratedly and probably looked like such a weirdo haha.... I’m not going to jump to the conclusion that Junta Terashima was actually looking at me during this part, but I was singing to him and he was kinda looking over in my direction ///// The scene ended right before “Chikai no ring....” so there was this little “Chi--” from the audience when we didn’t know the scene was going to end and they all laughed at that. 

While the orchestra was tuning up they joked about tuning up their characters. Takuma Nagatsuka was like “Saionji Leo Leo Leo”. Junta Terashima bragged about not having to tune, but they were all like nah you should really tune your Shin so he made a bunch of Shin yells in various pitches ahaha. 

In the second half of the performance just Junta Terashima and Shouta Aoi came out and performed their songs. Shouta was up first, so when Junta left the stage he wished him luck as Shin. 

Shouta got all flustered about it, and turned to the audience like “I wasn’t ready for that.”  

AhhHHhwwrrgh I really want to see that again. But like I said I’m afraid the DVD will be ust the evening performance.  (This and many interviews have shown he’s in love with Shin the character and it’s adorable.)

It was right at this moment, when Shouta Aoi was on the stage by himself, that it suddenly hit me all at once that this was my first time seeing him live. (Since he wasn’t at MRS and I wasn’t able to make the lottery for the 2018 Rose Party or the first SSS theater greeting. Since I have seen the other boys multiple times, and I have seen him at live viewings, I guess somehow it kind of slipped my mind.) 

When he announced the first song (”Moonshine”) there was like, an audible gasp from the audience. Like actual SHOCK at the idea that he was ACTUALLY going to sing for us... (at an event where we already knew he was going to sing for us).... THE VERY IDEA..... 

And when he announced his second song, I know Shangri La, same thing. 

It’s so hard to describe what it’s like to be in his presence. He’s just so different from the other boys. It’s a whole other level. He’s just... I can’t.... I can’t even believe he exists. I felt this same sense of awe even at the live viewing for the 2018 Rose Party but now he was actually HERE only 24 rows away from me!? It did not seem like this could be possible. How could this be allowed. All I could think about the entire time he was singing was just: Angels are real and one of them is named Shouta Aoi.

And what’s even more amazing is he doesn’t even seem to fully realize??? Like how all these girls are just so in complete awe and entranced by him??? He has no ego at all!?! When he finished his songs he was just like “Ohhh I was so nervous!” after singing with a flawless voice from heaven. NNghghghg. 

So after that, Junta Terashima came out to do Platonic Sword. As you may have noticed in the photo above, there was a special guest: Mitsuki Saiga (Shine)

She was supposed to be a surprise, but I knew since I saw her name in the pamphlet. (And I’m glad I did, because it gave me a couple hours to emotionally prepare.) So I was just waiting. Then suddenly the light came on and there she was.

So this was basically the first time I (or anyone?) got to hear Shine sing solo. I know Shine sings on the soundtrack version of Platonic Sword, but he sings together with Shin so it’s hard to separate his voice. Shine has.... a beautiful, deep voice. I’d.... I’d like to hear more of him.  (But now I hear a bit of Hibiki from PriPara in it, which is another complex I have ahah.)

Seeing Platonic Sword Live was something I really needed. I’d been both dreading and looking forward to for a long time. That song/scene has always terrified me. But am I afraid of these two people?

Of course not. 

The dissonance created by seeing Shin(e) on the screen with Junta voicing it below was incredible. As I hoped it would, it made me feel ready to deal with something I have been avoiding dealing with for a while: And that is that even though Shine made him do it, Platonic Sword is still a part of Shin and I need to accept that. After the concert I went back and listened to the full version from the soundtrack for the very first time. It still creeped me out but, I’m getting there...

So, I have seen Mitsuki Saiga before, at the Pretty Live, but it was a lot different seeing her so much closer vs. in the giant Makuhari Messe. Also she definitely seemed a bit more comfortable wearing a blazer instead of Hibiki cosplay ahah.

Her speaking voice is so naturally deep. Like, noticeably deeper than Junta Terashima and Shouta Aoi. When she left the stage after the three had a talk session, Junta and Shouta agreed on how much cooler she is than them hahahah.....

But the best part was how she said that when she voiced Shine, apparently no one told her what kind of a character he was because he was still secret or whatever. They were like “Just do it” and she was like “.....what!?” Then later when people told her how much Shine scared them she was like “Really!?” HAHAHAH.

Before this session ended they did a Shin/Louis duet of Silent Promise. So for people saying the photos looked like a wedding.... basically it was. 

After all that they made the big announcement of the King of Prism era Prism Show Best 10. Masashi Igarashi made an increasingly frantic bid for us to vote for Minato which really hit me and made me actually give him my vote when I got home. If you bought the soundtrack CD and got the serial code I’d encourage you to also PLEASE PLEASE vote for Minato as well. He really needs a break. 

Also Taku Yashiro did promise natural gas if you vote for Kakeru, so there is that too. But. 

At the end of the concert when they were saying their goodbyes, I was holding up my big Shin fan and neso plush while Junta Terashima was talking. I don’t think he saw me though, because I was kinda too far back to be noticed easily and he was concentrating on talking. I think Tasuku Hatanaka might have though, which would be really funny if true. Because he looked in my direction and kinda made a face like “heh”. It made me want to bring some Taiga stuff for next time. I re-remembered the best way to get their attention is when they are not talking, because they will be kinda aimlessly scanning the crowd and if you do something (tasteful) to attract their attention during that time (like holding something up) it might actually work. 

The last thing they did was an orchestra backed version of Dramatic Love and it was..... the near definitive version, the most beautiful Dramatic Love I have ever heard and it changed the song for me forever........... I.... I feel bad because it wasn’t all of them but. BUT! They gave Yukinojo’s lines to Louis and it just... it just sounded so good. Since Yukinojo usually sings before or after Shin (since SePTENTRION sings in order a lot since they are like that) I kinda want to hear Yukinojo replaced by Louis in more SePTENTRION songs. I mean I like Yukinojo’s voice fine but... BUT!!! For Yu’s lines they split them among the other characters. There was one point where Takuma Nagatsuka had to sing two lines in a row and he seemed to maybe have a little trouble stringing them together because he wasn’t used to it. (Like *finishes phrase* *split second of oh crap I have to sing again* *next phrase* eheh I love him.) 

Music Ready Sparking was great and the next concert is going to be great too. But there was something really special about this one to me. I think I probably enjoyed the orchestra-only parts a bit more than your average attendee because of my music background, but that combined the smaller venue really made it magical. I really, really hope they do more of these. 

[tothelasthoursofmylife]

August 8: Sneak Some Zucchini onto Your Neighbour’s Porch Day - Part 2

London, England, United Kingdom – August 1867

  For days and weeks, he had fought with himself, unsure whether or not he should do it.

But when Vincent woke up today, he knew that he had to do it: Today was a day that wasn’t special to anyone else but Vincent’s mother, and if he and his sister didn’t honour it, who else would?

With excitement and a little bit of nervosity flowing through his veins, Vincent got up and dressed. When Tanaka came, he started to wish him a “good morning” before he cut himself off the instant he saw Vincent done and ready.

“Oh, was I late?” Tanaka asked.

“Not at all. I only felt like dressing myself today,” Vincent replied and went through his hair with the brush one last time before putting it down. “And good morning. Is Franny already downstairs? I suppose she is; she always is. Is she?”

Tanaka smiled. “As always.”

Vincent nodded. “Well, then, let’s not make her wait any longer.”

  ***

  Vincent and Francis’ parents had been rather sporty people, especially their mother had always exercised whenever she could whereas their father had been fit, but had preferred to stay inside and do something else. In this regard, Vincent was an extreme version of their father: He knew how to fence and ride, but he had never been very interested in either or in any other sport. Standing up to refill his reading snacks or picking up his fallen-down bookmark without getting up was all the exercise Vincent needed in a day. On the other hand, Francis had definitely come after their mother: Every morning, she woke up hours before her brother, went for a run, practised fencing a bit with dummies, had early breakfast with Tanaka, and burned through a novel even before it turned quarter past seven. Still, Francis would always keep Vincent company when it was time for him to get up and have breakfast.

“Franny!” Vincent said when he threw open the doors to the dining room. Tanaka entered right behind him. “What day is today?”

Francis looked up from the book she was reading, Thérèse Raquin by Émile Zola, and frowned. “Thursday?”

“It’s ‘Sneak Some Zucchini onto Your Neighbour’s Porch Day’!” he exclaimed and sat down.

Francis put her book away. “Don’t say that you want to do that now.”

“You won’t hear me uttering these words, then.”

“Vincent…”

“It was one of Mother’s favourite days of the year, Franny,” Vincent replied. “We should cherish it; we should celebrate it in her honour.”

“It’s the most ridiculous thing in the entire world. I still wonder how this annual nonsense even started.”

“But she always laughed on that day,” he said.

Francis sighed. “I know, but this does not make it less ridiculous.”

“And we didn’t leave any zucchinis on the Lincolns’ porch last year,” Vincent added, “because we were at the manor. We already missed the date once; we cannot miss it twice.”

“I cannot believe that Mother did something like that to them for almost two decades, and the Lincolns are still living next to us,” Francis said, shaking her head. “It’s as if they like mysteriously getting a bunch of free zucchinis every year despite letting servants patrol their porch.”

“But what if we do not continue Mother’s tradition and they start becoming loud again? You know that after a few Sneak Zucchini Days the formerly incredibly noisy Lincolns started to calm down. The Viscountess once entrusted Mother that she believes that their house was built over an old graveyard and that they are disturbing the eternal peace of the persons buried there which is the reason why their ghosts send them a message on the same day every year. She still doesn’t know why the message is spelled out in zucchinis though.

“Also you are forgetting the fact, Francis, that the Viscountess is a lover of riddles, and this should be, by far, the greatest she has ever encountered. She would never move without finding out the riddle’s solution first.”

“Mother didn’t even properly try to hide that she’s the Zucchini Distributor, and the Viscountess isn’t even trying to solve this mystery. Especially after Mother’s passing and the lack of zucchinis a month later should have made Danielle Lincoln realise that there was never a ghost – only a very bored and annoyed Countess.”

“Perhaps it has become so normal to her over the last years that it would be strange to move now and leave even the memory of it all behind? Or, perhaps, the Viscount and Viscountess found out last year, and they are never going to move because they know very well that the haunting is over.”

“Yes, the haunting is over, Vincent.”

“The haunting is never over, Francis!” he said, standing up. “We have no idea what the Lincolns know, what they thought about the lack of zucchinis last year – but we have to preserve Mother’s tradition for the sake of our silent reading hours and our ears.”

“Can’t we find another way to honour her tradition? This is too ridiculous, Vincent.”

“Not as ridiculous as pirates.”

Francis groaned. “Don’t remind me of that.”

“What would Edgar think if he heard you trying to forget him?”

“He would probably laugh it away.”

“Well, anyway, if we could have a little pirate adventure because of Father last September, we can have a little zucchini adventure because of Mother now. It’s only fair.” Vincent headed towards the door. “Lettuce go, sister.”

Francis stared at him. “Did you just say what I believe you have said?”

He craned his head to grin at her. “Today is Zucchini Day, Franny, that’s why I have decided to make suitable jokes throughout the day.”

“Zucchinis are fruits,” Francis pointed out. “Not vegetables like lettuce.”

“I know that, but as zucchinis like tomatoes or pumpkins are fruits eaten as vegetables, I have decided to make fruit and vegetable jokes today. That was only the beginning, Francis. You have no idea what my brilliant brain will come up with – what colourful jokes will jump out of my head like Athena.”

She rolled her eyes. “Just leave me alone.”

Vincent’s grin widened. “Leaves aren’t exactly vegetables but they are green and, to some extent, edible, so good one, sister.”

“Just go die in a ditch, Vincent.”

“Why? When I love you from my head tomatoes? When olive you so much? I am speachless because of your cruelty.”

Francis sighed. “Where do you even want to go?”

“To the pantry, of course. We need some zucchinis for our first mission as the new cereal culprits.”

Tanaka cleared his throat. “May I intervene? I propose to go to the pantry for you and get the zucchinis you need, twenty-two if I remember correctly, as long as you sit back down, Vincent. Even cereal culprits need their breakfast.”

  ***

  “Mother wrote her messages in the front porch,” Vincent whispered to Francis on their way to the Lincolns’ house after he had finished his breakfast. “But, I, to cause some extra drama and confusion, am going to spell ‘Silence’ in the back porch while you distract Cosmo. You can see the back porch from his room; without a distraction, he may spot me and everything will have been in vine. That’s what I’ve plant.”

The Honourable Cosmo Lincoln was the only son of the Viscount and Viscountess of Middalanoware. When they had been younger, his mother Danielle had tried to arrange playdates for her son with Vincent and Francis as they were about the same age. Exactly once, Cloudia Phantomhive had agreed to it. Thankfully, she had quickly realised that Francis and Vincent did not like Cosmo at all and had diligently rejected the Viscountess’ other playdate requests. However, as they were neighbours whenever they were in London, Francis and Vincent still knew Cosmo very well – far too well if you asked them. Cosmo even attended Weston College as Vincent did; at least, he was in a different house, and Vincent rarely ran into him.

While Cosmo’s parents were lively and used to be very loud, Cosmo never smiled and was always gloomy. At least, he wasn’t too much of an obstacle for their mission; and to their luck, Danielle and Arlington Lincoln were at a party, and the servants were easily controlled.

Francis still glared at him for his latest pun when Vincent knocked on the door. It flew open after a minute – and in front of them appeared a small, wrinkly, wicked woman.

  Mother had told us that Gisela, the Lincolns’ housekeeper, had already looked like that when she had been seventeen. Now, twenty years had passed, and Gisela should be long dead – but she wasn’t.

Because twenty years ago, she might have looked the same as now, but she had been only twenty-five.

This fact alone made her scarier than she actually was.

  “Two Phantomhives coming uninvited, unannounced. Like mother like children, I see,” Gisela said in this terrible voice of hers.

Vincent forced himself to smile. “Oh, Gisela, what a pleasant surprise! Isn’t it chilli outside?”

“It’s a sunny day.”

“‘It’s a sunny day, Mylord.’ You must have forgotten that I am a titled nobleman, but I wouldn’t have awaited more of you. Furthermore, I think that it is quite chilli outside. Weather, juiced like everything else, is only a matter of opionion after all.” Vincent passed by Gisela as she was far too small and lean to obstruct the door, and walked into the entrance hall as if he had entered his own home.

“Where’s Cosmo?” Vincent asked, looking at the paintings hanging left and right in the corridor. Judging from their… interesting composition, Cosmo must have created them, and like other proud parents, the Viscount and Viscountess had put them up for everyone to see. Even if they did not go well with the entrance hall’s overall aesthetic.

“Cosmo is studying,” Gisela answered him, scowling.

“‘Cosmo is studying, Mylord.’” He glared at the housekeeper. “Instead of judging other people’s manners you should take a look at your own. You did not even greet my sister.”

“You are the ones invading this…”

Vincent turned away. “I can find Cosmo’s room on my own. I have been here often enough,” he said, and Francis followed him.

“I wasn’t too harsh, right?” he asked his sister when they were far enough that Gisela couldn’t hear them anymore.

“Not at all,” said Francis. “I think that you were too soft.”

“I didn’t want to extend our conversation unnecessarily. After all, chatting with Gisela isn’t our raisin for coming here.” Vincent grinned at his sister, and she scowled at him. They walked the rest of the way to Cosmo Lincoln’s room in silence.

“Cosmo!” Vincent cried out and strutted into the room. Cosmo put down his pen, stood up, and turned around to face his uninvited guests.

“Oh, Lord Vincent, Lady Francis,” Cosmo said, his face showing no expression. He was like a porcelain doll that had come to life in a wicked experiment. “May I inquire what you are doing here?”

“I’ve bean thinking of you, Cosmo.” From the corner of his eye, he could see Francis rolling her eyes. Vincent pouted. “I cannot believe that you are still as expressionless as ever, Cosmo. Usually, I take people’s breath away when they see me.”

  I was certain that if we weren’t in company, Francis would have scolded me for my words. To my luck, we were with Cosmo which meant that I was safe – for now.

  “Nobody ever thinks of me, Earl,” Cosmo said matter-of-factly.

“Why? Everyone likes you berry much. You should be snoozing and hiccupping all day. That’s how often people think of you.”

“I may have misheard you but have you just said ‘berry’ instead of ‘very’?”

“Oh.” Vincent laughed. “You haven’t misheard me. You see, I am currently learning Spanish, and in Spanish, you pronounce a ‘v’ like a ‘b.’ I must have accidentally mixed them up.”

“I thought you meant the fruit.”

“Why should I do this? I should be punished if I ever dared to make silly fruit jokes. Francis would be kiwing me if I did! Right, Franny?” He turned to his sister. “She makes sure that I don’t make a fool out of myself by making ridiculously bad puns. I am an Earl after all. I cannot make bad puns. That would be against every raisin. Durian all social gatherings, all pear gatherings, I would be laughed at. Where did we stop before this little misunderstanding?”

“That nobody likes me, that everyone thinks I’m odd.”

“Peachy! Thanks a bunch. You aren’t, Cosmo; you aren’t odd. You are only swimming against the currant.”

“I doubt that anyone thinks like that about me,” said Cosmo. “And now, no matter what the reason for your visit was, I ask you to leave as I have to see after Carrot in the garden and continue stu…”

“Could I use the powder room for a secornd?” Vincent asked.

“Excuse me?” Cosmo said.

“I asked if I could use your powder room?”

“You live right next to me, Lord Vincent – why do you want to use mine?”

“Because ours is currently broken down.”

“Don’t you have several? It’s such a big townhouse…”

“They all broke down in the Big Powder Room Crisis. Someone thought that operating the flushings in all of them at once might lead to the house jumping a centimetre or two. All it did was breaking them all down,” Vincent told him, and Francis raised her eyebrow at him.

“It wasn’t me,” he added.

“Then who was?” asked Cosmo.

“Our cook, Armstrong. He’s a rather odd playfellow who can get bored very easily.”

“I thought Armstrong has died.”

“Boredom is an acute problem for ghosts. They can, after all, not touch anything, and if there is nobody in the house they are haunting for too long, they get bored. An unhabituated house is simply unappeeling to them. Speaking of ghosts: Fran and I could tell you quite a story surrounding some. We may do it – but only after I have returned from the powder room. Beetween you and me, your house is a bit of a maize; I forgot where it is. So, where was it again? I will be grapeful if you answer me.”

“When ghosts cannot touch anything, how did Armstrong’s ghost manage to operate the fl…”

“Oh, I remembered where the powder room was again! Oat’s about thyme that I go!” Vincent exclaimed and hurried out of the room.

  While Francis was distracting Cosmo, all I had to do was placing the zucchinis in the back porch. Then, we were ready to go. Nothing was as easy as that.

  Vincent sneaked out of the back door and hastily placed the zucchinis, carefully spelling out “Silence” with them. Tanaka had been right: Twenty-two were enough. Smiling at his creation, Vincent stood up. He was about to head back inside when he heard growling behind him.

  “I ask you to leave as I have to see after Carrot in the garden,” Cosmo had said earlier, but in-between all my puns, I had not quite registered that he had not been talking about carrots: He had been talking about his dog.

  Slowly, Vincent turned around, and there he was: the Lincolns’ Rottweiler, and he did not look very pleased to see Vincent.

“Good boy,” Vincent said, reaching for the door handle without looking behind him and finding nothing. “Best boy,” he continued when Carrot growled again and jumped at him.

  ***

  Vincent felt like he had been run over by at least half a dozen carriages when he woke up.

“What happened?” he groaned, struggling to sit up, but giving up almost immediately.

“Oh, you are finally awake,” said Francis who had been sitting at his bed reading Thérèse Raquin. “The Lincolns’ dog chased you through their entire garden. At some point, you ran straight into their rose bushes – and as the Viscount cultivates roses, they have a lot of rose bushes in their garden. It took ages for Tanaka to remove all the thorns. After you ran into the roses, you tried to escape by climbing over the wall which separates the Lincolns’ estate with ours. As you have never been particularly skilled with climbing, you fell down, lost consciousness, and Carrot licked your face until we finally got to you. I think you misinterpreted him. He only wanted to play.”

“What a fine game! ‘Eating Vincent Phantomhive!’ Very entertaining,” Vincent replied and groaned again when he rolled to his side. He must have bruises all over his body. “Also, it’s not my fault that I am not secretly half-monkey, Miss I-Climb-Around-the-Kitchen-to-Find-Biscuits. Are we even siblings?”

Francis blinked at him. “Trust me, you are half-monkey in other areas. You may even be a full monkey from all I know. Mother and Father may have found you during one of their escapades and decided to raise you as their own.”

“Very funny. What even took you and Cosmo so long to get to me? Did I run very fast and manage to knock myself out in a minute or two, or were you simply slow?” Vincent waved around with his arms, trying to sit up. Francis put her book away and stood up to help him. “A bit of both,” she said. “Cosmo and I were a bit shocked about what was happening – well, I guess that he was shocked; his face is a blank slate and you never know for sure what he is thinking or not thinking – but you were also spectacularly fast to nearly get yourself killed. At least, I did not have to think of a believable reason why you were in the garden and not in the powder room because of that.”

“You enjoyed the show, didn’t you?” said Vincent when he was propped against his pillows, and Francis was back in her chair.

“Thoroughly. I have never seen anyone make a fool out of himself as quickly as you did. You are lucky that we do not have many neighbours and that Cosmo is not a chatterbox. Otherwise, I would have fully embraced the monkey-tale to deny being blood-related to you. I would not want to be known as the sister of the ‘wall-climbing Earl.’”

“And being known as the sister of a monkey Earl is better?”

“Definitely.”

They were silent for a while before they burst into laughter.

“I cannot believe you did that,” said Francis.

“I cannot believe I did that,” said Vincent, and they giggled. “We are surely a ridiculous bunch. A pirate father. A cucurbit-vandal mother. Two monkey children: a wall-climber and a biscuit-climber. We would have made a fine wandering circus.”

Francis shook her head, smiling. “We are impossible.” She stood up again and walked to the door. “Now, this ‘biscuit-climber’ will climb for some biscuits and milk and tell Tanaka that you are awake.” She opened the door and stepped outside. “We will make ourselves a calm, comfortable afternoon and evening because I do not think that I can stomach more ridiculousness today. For that, we have next year after all,” Francis said, turning around one last time before she walked away.

Vincent leaned back against his pillows and smiled. “Until next year, then.”

[star-trekkin-across-theuniverse]

Spooky

The mission has been straight forward enough - get in, eliminate the target, get out. It was idiot proof. Or so you thought. You’d begun to learn that where Clint Barton was concerned, nothing was ever idiot proof.

Wait. That sounded cruel. But it was true. If a mission could be fucked up, Clint was at your side for it to happen. Maybe that said more about you than him? Maybe you were just a doomed partnership. He didn’t seem to have the same problems with Natasha.

Now, Eastern Europe was filled with anxiety-inducing former-Soviet-bloc horrors that honestly gave you nightmares, but being assigned to track down and eliminate a human trafficker who liked to go by Vlad Dracul made the whole thing creepier. October in Romania, Clint’s shitty-ass vampire jokes, and your own self-sabotage by being far too big a fan of the genre was not helping. 

And the rest of the team had thought it was hilarious that you were tracking a vampire. Because they don’t exist, right? You laughed and played the dupe, but you weren’t so sure. All the intel on the guy made him sound disturbingly like the actual Dracula of legend. Which scared you even more. Which made Clint ride you even more. Which, when the chips were down, made the whole goddamn scene an even bigger shitshow.

Turns out vampires do exist, by the way. And you were now sporting a nice hickey from the truly-from-legend-goddamn Dracula. Clint was knocked out at your feet, apparently not Drac’s type and you were just. so. fucking. done. Weak from lack of blood, mad at your partner, and tied to some kind of freaky-ass altar, you just couldn’t even. You were praying for a cavalry. Your extraction wasn’t due for 72 hours, and you were over 100 miles from the extraction point, as near as you could figure, so you really didn’t have a lot of hope for the cavalry, but you were opportunistically praying to every god you’d ever heard of, whether you knew they existed or not, hoping someone would show up.

The walls of the crypt you were in were damp and caught the dim light from the stereotypically bleak candles in a way that emphasized exactly how spooky the whole scene was. It felt like the set of an old black and white B-movie where they’d blown the budget on the dressing the scene. Too bad you were the world’s shittiest actress. And your so-called leading man was on the ground, down for the count.

There was a hollow dripping than echoed throughout the chamber, making you wonder if there was a well nearby. And the wind howled outside, and there was an occasional flash of light followed by a loud, booming crack of thunder. If you weren’t feeling so weak, you might have been more frightened. As it was, you were dehydrated enough that no one was going to be able to scare the pee out of you if they sprung out of one of the dark corners. 

You resumed your quiet muttered prayers, wishing the bastard vampire had at least shackled your hands together. But spread apart, you couldn’t even hope to break free. 

“Why the fuck do they always send out unpowered teammates together? Could I get sent with Steve? Or Bucky? Or Wanda? Nooooo. Me and Clint. Every goddamn time.” You stopped praying long enough to soliloquay before starting back up. A low moan from near your feet informed you that Clint was finally rousing.

“Try praying to Thor, dumbass. He’s at least on our side,” Clint grumbled. “And we know he fucking exists.”

“Look dipshit -” you started, and then realized he was right. Thor might not hear you, but maybe Heimdal would. You hoped Asgardian hearing was supersonic because you didn’t want to risk yelling through the castle walls and alerting your captor. A clanging of metal on metal sounded from the stairs and your breath caught. Had it seriously worked? Your eyes strained in the low light, only to be disappointed by the appearance of Dracula. It must be feeding time. 

“My flower, your cheeks grow wan,” he commented, brushing his hand along your face. “Soon, you will be drained, and you can join me in the afterlife.”

“I’d rather not. I have this thing about enjoying the sun. I get really bad seasonal affective disorder, so living in darkness might not work for me long-term. And I was thinking of becoming a vegetarian. Pretty sure people are off the menu if I go that lifestyle,” you rambled, nervous and frightened. He leaned down and inhaled deeply near your throat.

“The fear makes your blood so much sweeter,” he commented.

“Really? Because I would think I’m burning through my stores pretty damn fast at this point. Like, my blood sugar has to be down in my boots, and my hemoglobin, after your last drink? I’m like when your gramma thinks you’re looking chunky so she waters down the fruit punch at Auntie Donna’s birthday party. I bet Clint is way more delicious at this point,” you were starting to panic and your words were coming as fast as you could form them.

“Hey!” Clint protested from the ground. Dracula just smiled and shook his head.

“Your humour makes your sacrifice all the more determined. How could I resist such wry commentary? For eternity? No, darling, you are my chosen consort,” he laughed softly, his breath cool against your skin. You felt his lips against your neck and stiffened, bracing for the snap of teeth into your skin.

“Oh please, oh please, oh please, oh please.” The words were a rapid litany under your breath, your eyes clenched shut. “Thor, please, Thor, please, Thor -”

“He is not coming, my dark princess. No one is. Submit. Submit and this fool will be your first meal,” Dracula interrupted, kicking Clint in the ribs.

“I don’t want to eat him!” You protested weakly. “He’s my friend.”

“And not your lover?” Dracula asked, crooning an eyebrow. “A shame. It’s always sweeter when there is love between you.”

“Aww, dude. No,” Clint moaned from the floor. If you could have shrugged, you would have. He was only saying what you both felt. Lightning flashed in the room again and the thunder was just seconds behind it. In any other circumstance, you would have assumed it was Thor, but the storm had been raging for hours, and hadn’t shown any sign of letting up.

“You will still provide nourishment to your partner, despite the lack of amorous feeling,” Dracula explained, looking down at Clint. The thought of digging your teeth into your friend’s neck was enough to turn your stomach. Or at least, it would have been, if there was anything in there to turn. You’d been running on chocolate covered almonds and caffeine for half a day when you’d been caught. You doubted you had enough substance in you to even create bile to toss up. 

Dracula turned back to you, and resumed the weird scenting ritual he seemed to be performing along your neck.

“Quick question?” You asked. He paused, as though waiting. “Why me? What makes me so special that you want me to rule by your side?” You asked, mocking his accent in the process. And suddenly were hit by a fit of the giggles,  at the sheer ludicrousness of the whole situation.

“For a human, you are remarkably gifted,” he admitted. “And there is the concern of you wanting to eliminate me. What better way to remove my enemy than to turn her to me?”

“Okay, Clint is just way more talented than I am. Much better if you’re looking at skills. More agile, braver, definitely a better shot. Nicer physique too, I have this whole weak upper body thing going on, but check out the dude’s guns. He’s packing some serious heat, I mean, he could rival Steve almost, I think. And if you’re wanting a companion that can lure in more victims, he’s pretty cute as long as he keeps his mouth shut. You could bounce a fucking quarter off his ass and -”

“Enough!” Dracula snapped, effectively silencing you. 

“Thanks, Y/N,” Clint grumbled. “Way to chuck me under the horse drawn vampire carriage.”

“I can’t help that it’s true. And this is where the whole you’re braver thing comes in. I know you’d just suck it up, pardon the pun, and being the hero and die, but I’m not brave like you. I got to where I am by being sneaky and sly and -”

“I said enough!” Dracula’s voice boomed through the room and you startled silent. Everything startled silent, it seemed, the storm finally quieting down, the wind no longer howling down the stairs. He leaned down to you again and this time drew his tongue across the bite marks he’d previously left. “When you waken, my love, you will hunger. You will thirst as you never have before. And you, and your friend will be locked down here until he is drained. And then you will join me in death’s embrace.”

His teeth grazed your neck and you could feel your heart rate accelerating, and cursed it, knowing the damn muscle would just pump you down his throat that much faster. You drew in a deep breath, and forced yourself to go to the happy place the team shrink had forced you to build after your first bad mission. 

“I’m in my happy place, I’m in my happy place,” you mumbled. “I’m on a beach, and it’s sunny, and Thor and Steve are playing beach volleyball with Tony and Sam and Bucky and no one has shirts on, and there’s sweaty glistening muscles and I have a frosty, slushy drink with loads of booze in it to lower my inhibitions and OH FUCK THAT REALLY FUCKING HURTS Thor’s shorts have little hammers on them like some kind of joke, and even Loki is there and his shirt is off too and it’s like a fucking hot dude calendar filled with guys I’d totally screw and OW OW OW OW OW, happy place, happy place, happy place.” Your mind grew grey and fuzzy and you couldn’t stop yourself as you lapsed from consciousness as a huge crack of lightning lit the room.

You drowsed back into consciousness and felt a warm hand on your cheek. “Tell me more about my shorts, ástin mín.” The voice was warm, and rich and you tried to open your eyes, but the room was too bright and you flinched, closing them again. Your stomach rolled at the onslaught and you groaned and turned your head into the hand cupping your face.

“What shorts?” You asked. Your mouth was dry and your voice cracked with disuse. It was so fucking bright. You must be dead. You must be dead, and this must be heaven. Or maybe hell, because that sounded a lot like Thor and if he’d heard about his shorts and your happy place, this was your worst nightmare.

“My shorts with the hammers. And my brother, did his shorts have that cow horned helm of his?” It was Thor. And he was teasing you. You were in hell.

“Am I dead? If not, can you kill me? I would like to be dead,” you moaned.

“Is there a theme to our beach attire? Does Steve have shields, and Tony -”

“I really hadn’t got that far into the fantasy,” you turned your head away from his voice, suddenly warm with embarrassment.

“But you knew of my shorts? Does this rank me higher on the list of guys you would screw?” His teasing was gentle and there was a soft huff of laughter from him at the end of the question. You turned your head back to him and forced your eyes open enough to glare at him. 

“I nearly died, Thor,” you pointed out.

“You did,” he nodded, sombrely.

“And you’re teasing me about my stupid crush on you,” you complained. He lifted the hand you hadn’t realized he was holding and kissed your palm.

“I nearly lost you, ástin mín. Forgive me for trying to forget it by teasing you.” You curled your fingers against his face and felt the rough scratch of his beard, and forced your eyes open again. There were tears at the edges of his eyes and he looked tired, and drawn.

“How did I not die?” You asked. He laughed.

“I am a god, it would seem,” he smiled.

“What?”

“I heard your prayers. We had been looking for you and Clint since you’d fallen off the grid. We’d been following your trail, but you’d disappeared. We knew we had to be somewhat close, and then I found your tracking beacon where you’d dropped it near the castle. And then I heard your voice in my head. And I could see you, as clearly as though you were in front of me,” he explained. “I wasn’t quite in time to stop him from draining you, but he didn’t feed you, and we were able to transfuse you in the quinjet. Dr. Cho thinks there may be some side effects.”

“Why?” You asked. There were so many words, and most of them boiled down to you nearly dying.

“Steve was the only blood type match on the team,” Thor explained. “I, of course, am a universal donor to all humanoid creatures. Between Steve and I, we donated nearly four full units.”

“Side effects like?”

“It’s possible you may experience some serum-induced changes,” he hedged.

“And from you?”

“You were already kona í hjarta mínu. I’m afraid if those feelings were unrequited, they no longer will be,” he explained. 

“Kona -” you trailed off, as the words suddenly translated in your mind. Your eyes widened, blinding you for a moment, and you blinked and looked back at Thor.

“Eilífur elskaðir,” you murmured. “I think I can handle that.”

[allacortedikamijo]

∼Eternal Twilight∼ Saturday September 15th 2018

Tickets sales for Eternal Twilight started at 3:00 pm on April 8th. Long before 3:01, VIP tickets were sold out. I could only manage to buy a Regular ticket. Luckily, in July Mana decided to offer upgrade tickets and I was able to also buy the Meet & Greet. Back in April, I had not yet decided to go to Helsinki. I knew DSVI would be very expensive, but once I learned Mana and KAMIJO would be in Helsinki on the same day, I had no choice. I expected surprises, and I was right.

On September 15th at 9:00 am I walked to Gloria with my friends, who patiently remained in line all day for KAMIJO’s concert. Around noon, I left for Paasitorni Congress Center and the magic started. The location was beautiful: huge, elegant, with big stairs and tall ceilings. VIP were already there and I waited for my turn with my new friend Nami.

Once Regular tickets holders were let in, I noticed the stage, the blue catwalk and the several exhibitors desks. Surprisingly VIP tickets holders had decided to sit in front of the catwalk and not under the stage. I could not believe it. So Nami suggested to immediately take those empty seats. We ended up just in front of the four chairs for the guests.

The room was getting crowded, everybody was wearing incredible outfits. It felt like a movie set or a star wars summit (some Lolitas were rather exotic). The Lolita Tea Party in Milan (2013) and Eternal Twilight in Helsinki (2018) will always remain my best Lolita memories.

Once all the participants had arrived, the presenter walked the stage and the event begun. Mana was invited onstage. He wasn’t backstage, he entered from the back of the room like a God or a Goddess, you choose. He was wearing the new green blouse and very high platform shoes. I could not believe how often I had seen him this year. He walked past us and sat onstage. He was joined by a lady from Hellocon and a lady from Moi Meme Moitié. One chair had remained empty, but even “I” had no idea about what was going to happen. DSVI had let me hopeless about any public interaction between Mana and KAMIJO. The presenter announced the Q&A and she said that, for the occasion, a special Guests would join the stage to be Mana’s voice for the day. She then said KAMIJO’s name. Even then I wasn’t sure I had heard it right. It was only when I noticed his blond hair approaching behind the Lolitas that my brain processed what was really happening. I started screaming, just as the rest of the audience. KAMIJO was warmly welcomed by everyone. I turned towards Mana and bowed to thank him. He was looking my way and he noticed I was on top of the world. I certainly didn’t expect it. I texted my friends at Gloria “He’s here!”.

KAMIJO set next to Mana and they both seemed perfectly at ease. Occasionally speaking in each others ears. The Hellocon lady started making questions to Mana in English, the Moi Meme Moitié lady whisper them to Mana, to which he responded by whispering in KAMIJO’s ear, then KAMIJO would tell the answer in Japanese and the Moi Meme Moitié lady translated it into English. Mana was asked more or less 30 questions and more came in the second Q&A that took place after the Moi Meme Moitié’s fashion show. I only remember 23 of them though. Too much excitement affected my memory. If you are interested, you can find them below. All participants had been asked to submit questions for the Q&A. I was very happy to find out Hellocon had selected 4 of my questions (14, 16, 21!!, 22)

What inspired you to start Moi Meme Moitie? He basically said he had noticed that the Lolita scene in Japan had many different styles except a darker and gothic version, so he came up with the idea of creating Gothic Lolita style. He found great inspiration in Gothic architecture.

Why is blue your favorite color? He said that when he was a child he has a blue snoopy blanked and, as he liked that blanked a lot, blu became his favorite color.

What is your favorite flower? Cherry blossom.

What is your favorite country? He luckily (and wisely) replied Japan. It could be absolutely true though.

Do you prefer rainy weather or sunny weather? Sunny weather because on sunny days it is possible to walk and enjoy nature, take walks in the park…

What is your favorite season? Summer.

Is there a country you would like to visit? He said Greece, because of the beautiful sea landscapes, even though he does not swim.

Do you prefer coffee or tea? Coffee, from expresso machines, as the one he has at home.

What is your favorite type of bird? Planes, though I am scared to fly.

What is your favorite animal? Hattiwatters from Moomins.

If you could have a super power what would it to be? See spirits. I have never seen one and I wish I could.

What is your favorite food? Okonomiyaki (I am not sure of this answer. Can anyone confirm this?)

What is your favorite fruit? Pineapple.

What is your favorite book or what do you like to read? Scientific readings, especially about planes, and cookbooks.

Have you ever had a pet? I am not good in taking care of animals, but I once had fishes and enjoyed watching them.

What is your favorite pastime when you have free time? Go to shrines and wash my hands in the (dragon?) fountains. It makes me feel great.

If you could go back in time in which era would you like to go? My late childhood/early adolescence. He mentioned games, ruffles and candies. He said it was a very happy and peaceful moment in his life and largely misses it.

What is your favorite Lolita item? Crosses necklaces.

Is there any chance for a new picture book such as (I’m sorry I don’t remember that name, could have been Bara No Rondo, Livre Ros’e Blanche, Bara No Higeki, Merveilles or Philosophy)? Maybe.

And now, the spicy moments…

20. You have accomplished a lot with your fashion brand. What could be the next step for Moi Meme Moitié? Mana whispered to KAMIJO’s ear and KAMIJO said “Really?!”, sounding shocked and surprised. It turned out the answer was: “Lingerie”. I applauded enthusiastically and made sure Mana noticed. How could I not want to wear Lingerie designed or approved by Mana?!

21. What’s your favorite place in Japan? Again, Mana whispered to KAMIJO’s ear and he replied in English with a super sexy voice “My bed!”. I thought I would faint. Of course he meant his own bed, but the double meaning implied was powerful (as they had skipped the regular process of waiting for the translator to answer). Some girls in the back giggled. I though it was really nice. A bit of humor and naughty jokes felt good. An informal moment out of the cages of cautious schemes.

22. What is your biggest dream? Moi Dix Mois World Tour (how can this be if he hates flying?)

23. What is your favorite drink? (And here we go with the most shocking reply of the day). I thought he would say Jack Daniels. Instead he replied “Pineapple juice”. Another innocent answer? I wanted to disappear from the face of the Earth.

After the Q&A KAMIJO kneeled in front of Mana and left the venue to reach Gloria. I could not stop but wondering whether Mana would make a surprise appearance during KAMIJO’s concert that night. Unfortunately he didn’t.

However, the two of them looked very close and amused, exactly the opposite of what they looked like at DSVI. I wish I knew why. Is it really so mind bothering to them the idea of playing together? Why? Is this really the last frontier now?

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Moi Meme Moitié fashion show followed. I loved it. I counted at least 30 girls. They walked the stage in couples. The couples were selected in such a way that each girl would have the same height. Some held hands. They all looked like goth sisters, very powerful. The soundtrack included a different Moi Dix Mois song for each couple. I lost contact with reality.

After MmM fashion show, there was a second Q&A to Mana. This time he would not need a voice, because he would draw the answers on a piece of paper. The audience was asked to guess his replies and after that he would show his drawings. I enjoyed a lot this part of the event. It felt informal and funny. Very useful to learn something more about Mana. Concerts are great but they leave short room for surprises nowadays. The double Q&A was pure fun. I am so glad the organizers came up with this idea.

After the second Q&A we could enjoy the second fashion show with many different Lolita brands (I do declare, AliceHolic, Puvithel and probably others I can’t recall now), and I must say I deeply enjoyed this one as well. The outfits were stunning and the soundtrack very inspiring (Cosmic Storm by A. Himitsu).

In between all these incredible moments, we had time to visit the exhibitors desks and buy lolita items. I wish the day would never come to an end, but in a while we would be in line for Mana’s Meet & Greet, just before rushing to Gloria for Kamijo’s Meet & Greet, Concert and Checki. Doesn’t this sound too much for a human being to endure in a single day?

When it was my turn, I entered the room where Mana was waiting. My 3rd Meet & Greet with God. I handed him my present and thanked him for DSVI. I was so grateful: he had invited KAMIJO as vocalist, he had cross-dressed and let his beautiful black hair down, all things I had hoped for. I was relaxed until he shook my hands twice and so firmly, with both hands that I started to panic. He was staring and I could tell he realized I took part to almost each event he had organized this year, even thought they were so far away from home. Or at least, this is the impression I got. But as I said before, these kind of days make you lose contact with reality. So I happily walked away with the red rose he gave me.

The best thing about DSVI and Eternal Twilight is that now (new) KAMIJO’s fans know something very important about him: who his Master is.

Report: bellemoitie for Alla Corte di KAMIJO

Photos in the slideshow: Bellemoitie, all rights reserved

Photos in the article: KAMIJO Official Instagram, M_d_M Official Twitter,

  [Report] ∼Eternal Twilight∼ ∼Eternal Twilight∼ Saturday September 15th 2018

[castlehead]

: LITTLE MILE,

PART ONE : : [live for the weekend and buy grams of blow with your paycheck.

see section A. feel good about going for walks. work thru a long distance relationship and get through the suicidal shit okay. then

break promises but also keep a few, not to keep up appearances but you wish rather to keep the purity of your word, which is hard fucking work. wait till she comes for a visit after super long time

apart and spread some roses on the bed because she likes that sort of thing. leave oreos on the pillow as oreos are delicious. ride her later in the night about that time you smoked six cigarettes in five

minutes as she was blowing xanax to prove a point. go to sleep crying but remember a few special moments as well and base your memories around that. see GOD for awhile but then decide it was

bullshit and perhaps just your conscience given a literal voice. see section A. hear nobody text you for days and understand some weird nonsensical ehrebung at really enjoying a smoke for the first

time in the morning as you look out the window. it is brisk and sunny and the bricks of the buildings look beautiful. think what a day what a day etc. then actually try to accomplish something with friends in

PARK SLOPE. understand finally that the general agreement is you whack as shit. then find a letter from your girlfriend from awhile ago and feel uplifted all over again for some reason but as for positivity

you do not discriminate. drink horn of sun to fierce last dregs. think about whether you are actually thin or just think you get thinner when you are really just used to how fat you are. talk to your girlfriend at

a certain point mentioned in section A. while on break for way too long.

sweat out a cluttered subway ride every morning forever. decide to jump off the BROOKLYN BRIDGE then decide not to. look meaningfully at a

church because you are reading twilight of the idols. repeat a lot of different stuff at irregular intervals. repeat stuff at regular intervals. learn that those statements are an acceptable example of an irregular repetition: or is

irregular as regards time only, not difference: an irregular life has less to do with fiber than we think. an irregular life can be as varied as disposition to pate : : as feeling to brokenness, as alteration altered to fear of change

might comfort one back into the nest of ignorance : it doesn't have to mean as regards, well, anything : it itself can be fiber, a fibrous fiber: so: we scrounge for something burred underneath the soft netting: crack up: put way too much

weight in your presence at social events : leave social events early or go to sleep in front of everybody pretending to be passed out : see social events as a total stressor : don't kno what to do : never know what to do ever: social

events. assume yourself a negative, discomfited person thereby. lose all friends because you dig deep into stupidity to find a reason for it, think about it until you go blind, rectify and rectify till all's a mess: is that what you want: yes:

friends are lost based upon too many simpering blasted apologies. really wish that you will leave a good looking corpse and do leave a good looking corpse. wonder why you don’t think about childhood very often, as in the concept.

see section A. come to the conclusion that fuck yes it is too late to have a happy one but really come to understand that that doesn’t matter as all things are for a time anyway but then get pissed off about this because you then realize as well

that you are mere mortal and still fields of open grass and oak away from describing something beautiful or whatever but then also wonder that you are infinite wherein the moment is concerned: and then think about your ex

for some crazy reason because all that matters is the past as regards what you’d want to retain in some eternal rolodex of spite or some shit, or maybe it’s just you but you can’t reimburse your mom because of all the infinite

you’re feeling and tell her you can’t and she says that is okay but doesn’t mention that it is ok because the advent of your twenties was mainly depressing, and you there, in room, gnawing at psyche like some useless ape as usual say, WELL

OUT WITH IT, and there she goes finagling a fart out of her ass your mom we are speaking of your mom and her aggravation and her remnant pain from a lost job years ago because oh certainly to fail once is to fail forever

and then you as you are young realize the moment is forever and you can make it a failure and you can make it a wonderful revealing of some big thickened BLEAR asking for property, asking for sense to be given it but you

can’t you can’t justify the dread nay [beckett] nor the odd ghosts in your bathroom that time you spoke to yourself for days and and and so then so then the weekend promises at least an end to this damned ineradicable

gloom and empty state as in empty and taxing but no state of emptiness no state of gloom yet here is gloom here is the reflections of a man refusing too long to look in the damn mirror and see himself is it you or is it i or is it all

the damn farts from the woman who birthed you wanting to be the final whiffing sound as to all of your gutsy failures and drudges through fields of stone and grass and oak you paint out of a backpack and some green

carpet in your room that one time you tripped balls on a tuesday on mushrooms and the razor talked to you and proved by its unassuming nature a very grill to the face that damned long face of a son too burnt

into his own damned house and wired by the damned eternity that sounds like some resilient, grand tocsin, some priketh ye some don’t but ya know it’s all just plain forgotten and happy at that, I’d live in codes wordless

more than explain this meaninglessness and/or stain on the life of time, that is humanity: that is growth: that is the paradigm of something written, written, scratched along the judgments of your mom’s farting fucking

asshole, your grown ass self, so proud to put on pants, so good at that one joke made riskily at a party and relished ever afterwards, so good at failure, happy failure, happy, happy to enter that small crack in the sadness too, happy

to bloom out of dismissal, shunning, happy to mature past the point of needing a single reason for a fart, an end, or a waste of mind. turn 30.

repeat. [etc] see section A.] ?? . . . .

RAGE on rage on, collapse into morning day like something of a storm, at least Frightful mist, some thunder bloom / glass incipient of the troubling harrowing: Some awful precondition. Out its frightful bells: wetly dew paints grass lucent-

-And I rise away from all that in my small cave in my state an eye half open, My knuckles are red from cracking them on my own jaw very a lot that night And some banging head i.e. sleep deprivation considered itself and made it

Worse. I thwarted myself continually mind whanging useless and thickly, like Sometimes i feel like that hamster I had when I was in middle school, wasn't, That i never named - - - uh, worth, it, wasn't worth it . S'ok it's ok for things

To no be worth it. Don't cry well then here's a fucking cookie Tard. I literally Just spat up phlegm right on my computer / no joke / I am freakish, & loud Also re hamster-mortality: I kno it is tragic, my girlfriend lost HAMSTERR

Named peanut. An entire quadrant of space specking thru eyes of that thing All day . Dont think ive evr done this much speed in one night (lol) i dont think i should be able to backtalk : this quick speed = religious,

[chalk dust molars fanatical facial people crunch 'em with 'em to dust. be sure to drudge up spume in the foggy brume some master floater or for sake of interracial justice an inanimate image of justice untarnished by opinion

or blaspheme. vulgar just for sake of cashing in on the weird honey : dip in there : of big politics etc anticipatory raging, prolepsis, summoner say : ARiSE ! ! !! : my girlfriend: she is sleeping right next to the and oh like a lamb she is, right

next to the voodoo-man, shepherd, making us all fly thru the honey right into some strict objective eye, truly naked vision, making commune with image and self. - - ] She goes on dozing into me and snoring soft like a, like subtle universal truth, or

Somethin. My snot is stuck in the bakc of my skull, i feel, i feel like waking up my Girlfriend with my hands all over like tidal waves : : i know hamstermortality, to let The reader kno : it is the wave of arcanum 17 : it is, it is waft of hope, like random

Prescience. Iit is the great like space etc of all, or some completely lazy encompassing. Kewl things only exist cuz hm i guess they exist for — — time, like hamsterts, Hamsters = meaning of universe, it’s like classical semantics or fuzzy logic:

Supervaluationists predicting borderline cases!!! How many hairs must i lose before You can call me bald : for the hairs will exist alway / they will, they will scream out : They will be a thing that is they are the very fuxxx god calls logic

Slash these words apart, greet blame and slash that, grab the bags: Run from the rage then, drum up some possibility for fuel, beat legs For leagues. ‘Message’ after ye with a bat, won’t get a thing so. But

Kicked up dust he’ll cough on, sweat drooling, finally fatigued: marigolds Fooling in the wind around him, agh, long day: we run into the ‘Pome’ Later: find it sucking on a sugar lump in some coffeeshop, well, money:

Who knew, who but the pivot finally: as drain groans a fable like a job to Do. Shit twists with flood and the seagulls berating lend belief at it all with Solid statement, caw, caw, wishing, duh, To Be Done With Message

Of course, especially one that some brine of heart sloshed up: some Reticular wisdom like as hair, hateful : some weird gloss over shadow Dims the bald head, the bald ‘Message’ - the crested ol’ bigot furious

Yawp yapping damnable in that there roast for the father: big squeeze, Squeeze of animus. Finally, down the block of stillness, down dug into The brig, obstructed color, rigid air, manic doors, kids laughing at him:

Little Mile : : feel it all over again : what answers can we get to as regards You fully: an elliptical, maybe? Or trash, or earthy disarrangement, dirt, Particles resulting in flipflop, wages made but unfulfilled for good? Or

Maybe marigolds !! Breezes coming out of their loops into wiggling weight Themselves, hulking as cathedral tunes, heavy with ambiguous threadiness, And that holy torment of an ever-figuring progenitor, professor of the

'Message'—black & bleak—against the righteous curiosity, ol' puff-head, ol' Apoplectic, Sorry For The State Of - - and dese homeless parties of the Sad. The sad chase, the chase as I must do is still solo. But grand, the

Hemophilic fire, the rusty brigade o’ pleaches o’ daffy hair, dummy cunt To stake on cosmic sex, just a blowoff: still. Then. Little dragoons whiffed It up anyways and blessed the fakery past mythos into real, made a great,

Big sepulcher for all 'em fathers: all the risks at tacky jive: lagoon: great, Great swoon of fibrous living out the ducky’s little murmuring in the mud, Tump-a-tump with buckles o’ swash : #dgaf : yet is we da pirate , as in ,

We is , we ah make anything magnificent and say it is that and leave it So. We. Croon and wait for that swell damned music’s dish to punch big and soft into the pillow : we: meet poetry POETRY POETRY POUR IT ALL

And soft into th. pillow. We. Down a side-street : have a baffled-eye ‘a sec: Din in the den gets closed the sisters ears : think some nature-shit: stfu: Bucolic site there wispy girl : pencil neck : root , , , for Image-Pleasant:

For you that is : root for the Panjundrum not, in his anger-yells all daffy, Deadening reasons for the noise, amplified like a big [bracket] to the side Of something, past declaration, past the final honesty and towards some

New squeamish chuck of ew-grease out of my bad throat : 'Message' Attempts to toughen with - providence, it feels, it knows - of mere scraps Of itself, and then I emit new strings for my shoes, frayed knot, couple

Stoners ranting in a parking lot when one sees a human innim and flees, From eye of him : one states the [bracket] as annotation even though it Supplies nothing : mere notation is as much enclitic for an infidel sense

As rhyming to behead borders of rhythm with timing , adding meaning Like chaff at the end while a sprocket ebbs out then 'splodes at once, a Gathering of mite and fingernail and bedding shod in the cracks under

The bland couch then sets aflame, burning down the garbage, which is Everywhere : police police : fuck da : : whelp : lost musings only whelm As much as one is willing to go rapidly , that is, will be as quality as the

Quicken, enacting some different statement thru defensive natures of style Like Declension : Logoaedic : parse the thought, then let it run before the Jello melts, food gets cold: picnic raped by ants. Premise of the rule. So the:

Uh: bracketed, shuffling fragged things dole more out for the warmness, As in, have something mean what it means, leave it at notation , make the Final well and, "End like a spear, not like a broom" - - Well, who knows

About honor: maybe just to prove myself I will right something really for Awhile too messed for the husbandman to mould with his ass: drop the Incisive manacles, they get my wrist bit with copper: write to right a thing

You never mention: madden out copper tongues: make demands about Stuff you have no idea you are actually talking about: but that's not going To mention itself either and is perhaps what is missing for the right reasons:

So why yell out proper tongues if that is all tongues want is their own voice To hock a spray of legit logey sniffed up the nasal psg. and out into the World. Well. Garbage burns itself to slew. But you like that. You enjoy

The mesmerized epiphanic trumpeting, priketh, prike prike : nasty uncle, He was , and a bald head a sunshine away from DEATH-LAZER. Stun, But be stupid as brick. As was said, I speak to reflect mirrors in darkness.

Should be obvious. Maybe this inkling of finding a new way to speak'll Dart straight for the first reason to pant and wave commodities at the sullen Sucker-tourist upon losing his next day's provender at the hands of silly kids.

DeMand: Wring rungs out proper tongues, lick pompous, drone on in thatt Stat o’ thing: status of thing: state of things: rut t tt t t t tt t tt t t tttt tt t t t t tttt Guts me : feeling in’t I feel nothing but in hole: & & & & & & & & & & & & &

Still the great compilers edge more into the fantastic, learn to eat it along with The tragic as one happy meal. Eventual blossom, hoping Mary and Ed ride fine Off into the sunset, cans tied to the bumper clicking like cliché: Jesus is sick :

He tells me so much is at risk here : then again, who could harbor such a feel But Big J or Yeezy : : well he’s a prick : that’s why you shouldn't music so much: I don’t listen to music nomores: even you’re tarnished bc of all this harlot noise

Attempting heaven, & whatnot : WHAT? WHO THN ?? WHAT THEN ?? So Fortunately, I’m Done. Getting into ye head. I’m already there. Felt random & Also, tortuous pressure spread keen thru label after label, waiting for sustenance,

It was given, as if words could ugh the body with ugh : feed me with 'don't' is What the character 'Message' means. This sentence means it is myself declaring A sentence. That is what it means, and the Myself in it shines out of that part of

It like some beautiful renegade oxygen, a distillation more perverse, a naked way, A death of all that damnable stuff we got our heads warped around in like some Exquisite Fucking Turban [tho false] tho, maybe drunk off picked points smacking

Of defeat, well : : : such's to give up meaning at all - - MESSAGE _a t_ _a l l_ [?] As if words could damage the body : does language uh have one string it can plukk To stop the heart?[.] Or does it all. Well. Uh, lose weight: is it a fascinating receptacle,

Or mere extensiveeverything: ” Do You Believe In God.” – – – – – – I wouldn't be Able to give you anything for jesus, much less Jews. HAve little idea what I believe. Belief is odd. I think I believe in, just, being chased, you know, for thievery. It's a

Saturated L.A. sun like in this song by [The National] it is called "Pink Rabbits." it Is really damn good I remember feeling like the string to my heart almost cut that one Time. But I couldn't tell you anything a medium in some spooky curtained shop

Wouldn't be able to perform with a bit more erggh 'flair' well damn I despise flair write To construct a core or write to DeMand to write or write to right something wrong w. Your sister's [hairdo] or write about strings. Write about all the strings. What all of

Them would do if connected THE WORLD IS POME across the globe. Don't think There'd be much room else for people. Well no worries then, you’ll steal hunches till you Can’t even breathe a thinnest wisp of sister-air. Enjoy never figuring out anything. I

Like to tip-toe but that's no way to run , I gotta say the world is fucked w/o a point , , , The drain is really sick [!] w. all this flood it might as well be the guts of garbage And the rightness of wrong , of the failed and of lineage thru language do we bring

Our own booze do we sing some amped version of the obvious soullessness everybody Gets to grate all over everybody else like some annoying sadness too small for this World, too inscrutable to be anything bt what it is, what it is not anything, as POME

Is words, not ideas, get subjugated by need to buddy up with certainty by corroborating This or that line with another, breaking another, letting pennies go slipshod thru da Grate, while all the while mighty confusion rends a new surprise in plain polished sight,

But o the bees in my gut wig out more folly but as plain to live and hope by their ruin To bring the ties untangled, yes, state the statement-as-goal, martyr a few mirrors thru Indelible mistake, ending Kierkegaard at Democritus' river etc. NO WE NEVER

STEP THRU THE SAME RIVER TWICE NO NOR PERHAPS ONCE, anyways, The bees escape nathless from a pirson-prison. In spite of all this floppy flotsam, Like some weird torture. The stingings bless, the robust yellow flow mitred across

De backs uf'm. And I still considerable, a regular pill for the unagog men still seeing Me unsightly, some lack, some twit, some spook : er something as like, as what god Makes of his leftovers in the afternoon between jobs: but me young boss: HOSS:

What?, zooks, gain, what gain 'questionmark' nothing an adorable steeple could not Bring together as all us wonderful people together rise them, these middle fingers- -Pointing up UP UP, run with lacking, then, fuck, huh?, shut up, suited only to

Sslipped phrase, the bank account gets canceled & yr out on the streets with only Luck and Fucks to feed you. Wiring runoff, shattered, wrecked, fetid, but all of it So Human that nobody seems to mind: neither of those three words can understand

My theosophy, nor gainsay, I'm too cryptic: : fault fault, fault fault, thwartedness- -But still continuance, shorn but not straight dead. Lucky but suffering. What a bore, To get brought in by force, to the party, snatch a few lichen, press against petri dish

To make dialogue unheard of or no at the party what this is about, this sleight of hand, This emotional screening we seize up and clench our asshole to forget about, rot in it I Say, row those sewage tentacles, mandibles, new legs from the mess, new smack to

The veins, new shot, lessening as day and eyesight, NARCAMNARCAM. Ruin stake [valuesystem] bless me achoo gradient risen sceptic collide me w truth,

Ruin stake dress me up in my garters and delirious falbalas at table, valuesystem,

Run to the ruin: make stand up puppetry the rotary: vast tracts of time enable the- -Child to believe he is infinite. Child god goes wishing-wishing at peak, wishing To see: you flee from definition like that stoner guy from earlier all the time, you

You let the questions mysteries bleed out thru yr fanciful cufflinks: drat: quaint: Wanna bleed staid blood. Want to create the hurt that must hurt, that must come: Just to have some control, as elusive blood, got to pour lopsided from a precious

Wound : : we gaze into ourselves and do not speak, wondering what batty thing Happened back there: we go wishing to dash away performance with a little more Laze: 5-year-old Genius. But yea. But, with you I shuffle into someone free. You

You see the curtain and you know the pianist is behind it nodding off into overdose: You are knowing what curtains mean and that curtains rarely help to cover meanings: You realize there is nothing to peek at nothing to see so you shrug and go home to

Your death, ever-approaching some more-appropriate redness , , , but the redness in The West , tho. What's with that haze that looks like the hoarsest GLARE of all: It is the shot in the arm taken too breezy, brought you to the finale, the glimpse then

Recession into embedding blank blankets of so-and-so upon your life, weighty big Deaths greeting you with comfort, delicious sating of the lorn, and raggedy willful Bravery so long perceived like an animal, that is, now seen so much to salute. So I

Have access now into your maze : it is dangerous here : bees go grinding against the Gut. Entrails that trail haphazard underneath everything forever : the flighty frolic Of your hair, sister : good on you for nvr doing hoarse/horse. Your hair that speaks

In looks looks like the bigger maze, the bigger harder hug to give one day when just , When things get better: just so one don't get bitter, what from examining all sides of The same pipe dream. DeMand, and makes thus bigger dissonance w. me. Say me,

Of your aspect, at base, nothing less, your talent is my name and sister-curse, my uh My name is one to have in spades, you gotta have it so it radically disappears under A veil mentioned elsewhere in full wherein the chase is always and never the point

As your legs, extremities exist by the disappearance of a prior location, or some Name, some name called death we get into other ideas 'bout. But it is a lost name. Bu I cannot bless more than I bleed. Whatever that means. Perhaps I tell

This to others, they do not offer but stares and blinking : oh alienation : what an Easily dismissible thing : REAL PROBLEMS hah : in that case, those girls Kidnapped in Nigeria're having real problems : suffering is subjective & hell

We, as In I, Race Towards It as anything the wiser, wise as answer, jus cast answer, Jus cast ANSWER:- whatever happen to be, jus quake out a few inappropriate Inabilities in front of anyway, including meshing: hear aspersions there, here

And there: I say, if one feels pathos then uh                              you know the whitest lash fuck express it, fuck!, don’t you                        painful on your brow                                                                              loose the snow came, bother with a perfect shape as the                   clad in crammed houses families shape you have is naturally a very          frown at homies, themselves children, improvisation, imperfect as a sky                made random and the same                                                                                 as all storm, asleep flakes or something, like, one sky, just                        made like me to feel like an actor one. i guess, uh. that is what i                                       make like to me guess. that nothing happens if we                                     within the thin walls,                                                                   while bruised dads glimpse the hood are indifferent or something. give           in rochester,   barely guap to eat, to obsession, passion etc. then uh                       my father runs into a grand jizz what follows’s a thing the greater                                  on the way back                                                                        captures it and puts it in a safe . for therapy. write on for therapy?                               his father was a vato, well fuck yes. do it and do it and                           gift-wrapping raining down do it. i like channeling whitman , ,           on christmas, wanting to capture fame                                                                                       and getting the pink slip . cuz it’a means wealth, like, iduno                    it was majestic, slowly he i guess like, [vulgate,vulgate] it    drowned in throat cancer, later. my dads hates is freewheeling all over the place                christmas, but at least he caught                                                                                     a good fuck in childhood and without regards -blank- see yu kno, i cant write on tumblr atm bc something is wrong with my uhhhhhh

keyboard. it doesn’t allow me to , ,          delete the space between one anddd             another line. so i am writing this

                                   to you. it’s probably not really i guess to interesting just see that infinitesimal cube understood so , ,

uh, distantly, as me here, in this room, hanging out with whitman! as in i see ‘im, right here. he is in

the corner smiling to himself bout some private meditation, mostttttt likely. have you figured out this

is a msg in enjambments yet?, you are really cool and ring out , , , , , , despite, right?, whether or not or

            maybe regardless. PART II : : : : ERHEM: fast sadness folds in a toilet like down it you know like those soothing squares, gulls take to the particles after response to command goes lagging, and the aqueduct explodes filter to filter after longing for more than garbage could recall, prideful trash–

garbage i done made myself blind blabhah i done made a bad hither, done dash right into the fount of degrading. i feel very such things as i feel and call them detritus still. i am monstrous i am - big eye, i can fuck myself without any charity-help from anybody.

i am to call myself things like topaz once the giddy girth sloshes within a pictureframe's modest dimensions, and the sharks while snapping snapped alive by the implied sort of movement given only to starkly imperishable images that lighten you up at the art

show. well its time t-to start from the start and start a movement founded on a ginger ignorance of other movements. is i-t: is time to start from the beginning of focus way past bemused glance, ripe glare, teeth beside themselves w cavities of roe and garlic:

it’s time to inaccurately anticipate something, like we knew it was coming and wanted our surprise to look nice. anticipate the perfect slur, find a wide audience for that: it is, uh, time to enact maelstrom considerably, like, lofted above the saddest cloud's

drenching of itself: clouds they are clowns : be sure to recognize the hidden voice, what rattles us is not the mystery of how and logical wherefore but in transmuting some odd warfare of a distant crud's finding, that is - - - it is not what links but what is explained,

which for me is the distance crud, or clod, i call planet : am i a part of it or do i depart from its frequent accusings, importances, rudeness, and flat commodity, material, or just shattered booms hailing the demise of precept got so infrequent that one, less

righteous, is more thru the confessional of the lessness, a lesson : us, , rule, , : the sea like an antelope’s stride is, that is, like the picture purely between man, shark, and sea, of slopping sides over the frames of the picture: something by movement not volume,

by not expanse but a few flits of eye - big eye, - regardless of bigness it is, is and will be there for when the ranting stays, crucial delectable bizarre 'mischance of machinery' while the self goes further out, taken by the turning tides, and then yet this is a bit more

than mangling the heart by placing it on sleeve; this will always be here, distant, or like, remote!, yeh, better word!, you will disassociate whatever

from whatever, [edittttttttttt ttt ] from your blinding clarity [edit] : : you will take an eye out for the bossman cannot : since

wills black as char make the crud, clod, dusty clod, a piece of crud: "shouldn't be so hard to have a nice day." Mutter and grimace. wake up to totally remove yourself in the only way possible, that is, from the world of dreamstate: and piss dole me a new

self of yuck and maelstrom. PART III : : drying the die out of to play craps . or somethings like pinochle of life itself, shouted madman. made anterior who wants the soul who wants it made outside of use I see. something— / something digs for a very hinting it goes like something as must to stop,

as much to save the world as self by saving declamatoriations [!!!!!] declarations yeas, declaiming . / well go ahead and rue the ensuing bratty corps of lifer’s whom stake much on image / nada -rtiet- [edit] editwrite made something is^^^ within that words

them words something letters inverted salamander-language seen spanking new by breaking every rule, ruling over breaks like you had more time. / discovering the body, etc. and it all makes you want to imprint on the wise world some attmept, to do more

by removal of sense if sense is not snuffed out already by now in this senseless world, just going on and on!!!! to the creakiest hints shuffling under floorboards like captives from the bad!! quite the soul search. make more inklings, don't harry yourself, I say,

to discover a bunch of cool shit, also, uh, master it. master thinking in language. maybe i always never did nitpick and nitpick only yeup that is me I knit together the nits the nits are scratchiness, a scratchiness. then I think about how nice honesty is as re the slow

deliverance or rather sparing of us all by the most high / as by and by,, we grope for some bigger socket to launch a sensitivity of me I we errybody into, and me and ha and ha. ALERT. cannot diverge ALERT ALERT ALERT!!! Whoop show./Whopp whoop

whoop, can’t but take it down I wsiwiwsh i wish i was blind, i wish the rails weren’t so sharky : : so bloome [!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!] 5$%uh September 13, 2014. Leave a comment Edit POME34 there is language to report, a monster essence. hammer away

and believe till the growth gets funnier and then throw it away handsomely / feel it run like sand thurr rthru your thru thru you[edit]hrought your fineger.s ample tome, im ean time, to write, requite certain disposable nothings like a big random power/ mind goes

and glowers at itself again. ah you kno. broken triangle. anything broken becomes an angle or many. a ziggidy line or somesuch. / so break a whole, rift it to life as some ziggidy line. some sorta line that breathes with uncaring for anything like information

but retaineing formless form as if your occupation was with something else/ let relax the

strands in you ankel, let the angel fall my dear / dont deny it / yur a good person, dammit. all the se facile blunders. all this. these stupid years of making. in the making,

or just making, about too. etc. greqat. great magnificent quiet [edit] is that which i search for and make and build into the most complex geometric shape for good / only to rift it and - - make what people would holy-fy even more bettr than the more better it was /

bby oh how you go on concealing pleanty of plaintiveness. am i nice ?? so what if you are. youre a stara special star . . . yr starved, strande line you ssay you are a bulk of issues you say you dance like a man made

of things .. light as wing . dwindle. wind. light as wind. so much so much to destroy sitll. my eyes need more blurs t[edit] to in order make everything wrong rightwise. foreget aspbergers. or any label / speak pretty

mane’s ruffling sinousity in wind. / a bloke with flow / gnarly [edit] speak charlie stude the sirfur, charlie stud is he who rides the wave, rides wthe wave in /by just meeting

wit ha hello and a hahaha at ripe ombustive ripe combustiveness at / a large offense

[firenationskydominion]

Chapter 5: The Distortion of Ozai

A few days later Ozai was on the terrace feeding peanuts to the crow, which finally decided to sit on his arm. He had a content smile on his face. The crow reminded him of his grandmother. Ozai felt happy and relaxed, but something still didn‘t feel right. Mya came and hugged him.

  M:        You look worried.

O:        I am. I had to think about Azula. My

girl is still in the looney bin. Such a waste.

M:        Why don‘t you write her a letter?

O:        That might be a good idea, actually...

  Ozai wrote:

  Dear Azula,

all days here are pleasantly sunny. I feel

good and am in good spirits. Please

don‘t hope for my return anytime soon. I

worry about you. Let go. You have

lots of talents, don‘t waste them out

of thirst for revenge. Go out and find

love, be merry and ignore your brother.

Your father Ozai

  We sealed the message and sent it to Zuko, who read it first before taking it to Azula:

  Azula was tied to the chair, when Zuko entered. He held open the scroll. Azulas eyes read the message and she looked abhorred.

  A:         This is a lie! Father would never write something as touchy feely as this.

Z:         It‘s his handwriting, clearly.

A:         They drugged him! They made him write this. This is not our father! We have a hidden code. All first words spell out the real message:

All good, don‘t worry, lots of love.

He would never say something like that. Something is wrong!

  Azula kept kicking and screaming.

  Zuko was in thoughts and asked timelord Mya to send in a new recording and to interrogate Azula.

  Azula was tied in a straightjacket and on her chair. She watched the door with contempt. Why did they want her to meet with her fathers captor? The door opened and a beautiful woman in a black uniform entered

  A:        Who are you?

M:        I am Mya.

A:         So you’ve taken my father?

M:        He came by his free choice, Azula.

A:         So did he fuck you already?

M:        You know your father. I have traveled numerous worlds, but he is special. Handsome, mean but in a very sexy way... Have you?

A:         What kind of question is that?

M:        (shrugs) Just wanted to get my facts straight. Tell me, would you take me seriously if I hadn’t fucked your father?

A:         You fucked him?!

M:        We’re all adults, Azula. I am honest with you. I’ll never treat you like a child, like your father does. You’re 19 and you know the ropes.

A:         Did you fuck my father?

M:        Are you jealous? It must be hard with a powerful, handsome dad like him. He’s cruel, but soo hot. No boy matches up to him. You idealize your father. But at the end of the day he’s just a man. A man who means a lot to me.

A:         So did you?

M:        Yes, I did. I will give you total honesty. He sent me with a message for you.

A:         He fucked hundreds of slaves at court, so don’t think you’re special.

M:        I don’t think I am. I hope not!

  Mya laughed and sat down facing Azula. Azula tried to move her hands, but panic crept into her eyes.

  A:         What’s wrong with me?

M:        I am a time bender, I am stronger than you or your father, my love. You can’t bend unless I permit you to. Now look at this.

  She held forth a tablet which showed Azula the footage of her father.

A:         What did you do to him?

M:        ???

A:         He looks... calm and relaxed... almost happy. You have drugged him!

M:        No, he’s just fine. He’s at peace, he spent his day training and teaching forms. We had tea and a nice day. We even ate fruit cakes and he taught his pet a new trick.

A:         This is not my father!

  Azula started to scream. The wardens sedated her and brought her away.

  Zuko heard about the scene and demanded to see the clip together with Aang, Katara, Sokka and Iroh.

  Z:         Azula said you drugged father?

M:        Look at the film yourself and tell me what you think.

Aang:   That face! He looks peaceful and even kind.

Iroh:     I haven’t seen him like this in years!

Sokka: He’s tanned and buff like if he was on a holiday!

Katara: He looks so... nice!

Z:         He looks happy. This can not be. I demand to see my father. And I want Azula to come along.

M:        It might be a painful experience for you two.

Z:         Why that?

M:        Ozai has changed very much - to the better! He‘s still mean, but his good side is stronger than his evil one. He reflects upon his actions and he is experiencing mercifulness, kindness and altruism. But seeing him with me might outrage you and Azula.

Z:.....    elaborate.

M:        He and I have been spending a lot of time together and we are very ... close.

Z: .       ...???

M:        Azula didn‘t take it very well...

Sokka: Wait... you‘re banging Ozai?

Aang:   I‘m sick...

Iroh:     He always had a great choice in women! I envy him for his luck!

Katara: He is your prisoner! You can‘t sleep around with him.

M:        Says who? It was part of his tantric healing therapy to unblock his heart and kundalini chakras. He is so fragmented that we celebrate tantric oneness to reassemble this Ozai puzzle until we have a pleasant picture. And it worked out fine!

Sokka: Can we please stop discussing Ozais sex life? I‘m going to puke.

M:        We successfully evened out his rough edges. He‘s a different man now.

Z:         It seems you have become prey to his manipulations. I want to see him and if I don’t like what I see I’ll put him back in his cell.

  A party with Zuko, Azula, Sokka and Katara joins me in the pod. Azula is contained in a straightjacket and force field. Aang can‘t join us as his place as avatar is within his world.

M:        You might all get sick upon arrival. Please puke into this bags, will you? Interdimensional travel gives you hard migraines.

Z:         Whatever it takes.

  A few seconds later we land. Sokka and Katara puke into the bags, Zuko looks sick but controls himself. Azula pukes into the bag I hold out for her.

  We exit the pod and walk to the house. Ozai is sitting on the terrace. He smiles and rises to greet us:

  O:        Daughter, it‘s good to see you. And my traitor son and the avatars two watertribe friends! You brought in reinforcement!

  Then everything goes superfast. Azula tears open her straightjacket and cries out: “You will not hurt father!!!” while pointing a strong lightning strike against me. Ozai jumps in front of me to take the hit. Azula screams: “Father!!!” At that moment I stop time. I tear Ozai away. The lightning has struck him just with it’s tip. I check on him, worried. He has a burn mark on his chest, but is not severely injured. I unblock his time.

  O:        Aaah...how is this possible? Why isn’t she in a force field?

M:        The force field takes a while to recalibrate in another dimension. This is why you didn’t wake in the pod... Then I unblock Zuko and Katara.

Z:         Father, are you alright?

O:        You’re just too soft, son. It burns like hell, but you know that well yourself...

Z:...

M:        Katara, do you have your healing water?

K:         It pains me to part with it for HIM. You apply it. I will not touch that man.

I put some of the healing water on his chest.

Then I unblock Sokka, who was a statue for 15 Min.

M:        What shall I do with Azula? The force field is on. If she uses her power and I open her time, she’ll fry herself.

I decide to move myself into her time.

M:        Don’t bend lightning or you’ll hurt yourself.

A:         What happened?

M:        You’re in a cage now. Your father tried to save me and took your hit.

  Azula looked horrified and started to cry. She totally broke down.

  M:        Don’t worry my dear, he‘s fine. I understand you well. I was just like you when I was young. He’ll recover, he’s strong. My poor love Ozai... I only wish for him a life without stressful women, but I think he just has bad karma...

Azula had to laugh. It wasn’t a mean, but a real albeit cynic laugh.

  A:         He‘ll never forgive me for this.

M:        He loves you. His love was buried, but now it‘s exposed. He‘s learning new ways, and so will you.

A:         You love him. I hear it in your voice.

M:        You love him more than I ever could. Let our love for him be stronger than all obstacles. I am reaching out my hand to you. Will you take it?

A:         Do I have a choice?

M:        You always have a choice.

  I held her hand.

  I took us forward in time to catch up with the others.

  M:        And we’re back. You guys didn’t fight in the meantime, I’m proud of you all. Azula and I had a good talk. I think we’re OK here.

Zuko:    I have seen enough. I did not agree to send Ozai on a beach holiday. He will return with us to his cell at once.

M:        Firelord Zuko, please honor our agreement. My world, my methods.

Z:         No, he is a prisoner, not a prince in a sunny beach exile.

I went to Ozai and held him. Tears flowing down my cheeks.

O:        I will be alright, love. I love you. But you need to forget me.

He embraced me and kissed my head.

M:        Ozai, please forgive me. I love you, please never ever doubt that, even if everything falls apart. I told you that I am a person with flaws, just like you are. Please, forgive me. All I did and all I have to do now was just because I love you. Please forgive me. I’ll always be yours and yours alone.

  Zuko and Azula looked alarmed. Katara was heartbroken but ready to fight. Sokka had his boomerang ready to strike.

  I held Ozai tight, closed my tearfilled eyes and said:

  “Computer, stop simulation.”

  One by one the elements of reality disappeared. The house, the pool, the terracotta tiling of the terrace. The birds, the cats. At the end they were all in a gigantic empty glistening white and completely empty hall. Finally, Mya disappeared pixel by pixel. Ozai screamed Nooo and stood there shattered in an empty embrace. A computer voice and pleasant background music appeared: “Welcome back to the simulation bay of the starship Vega Eternity. You will be joined shortly by our commanding officer and acting timelord of the Vega Multiverse Mya Moonseeker. Please relax and breathe in and out if you experience anxiety or sense of loss. This is very normal after such an immersive therapy session. We sincerely wish you betterment. May you rise up and dwell with the angels. Enjoy your stay with us, live long and prosper!”

  Far away a tiny door opened and a small figure in a black uniform appeared. About thirty soldiers in white uniforms accompanied the figure.

The soldiers created a cordon in which the figure approached. It was Mya. She looked different. She seemed very powerful and in control. But when she arrived, they saw that she had been crying. Her voice was shaky.

  M:        Sorry for this confusion. I need to apologize to all of you. Zuko, Ozai never left this cell. I never broke my promise to you and the court. He was and is confined under maximum security as you can see. This ship is manned with ten thousand soldiers under my command. All of our moves are recorded.

And Ozai, I am deeply sorry for all that I did to you. My love for you is true. This is a healing chamber. We use it to heal illnesses of the mind, broken hearts, anger issues and to cultivate empathy and love.

Zuko:    Where are we?

M:        This ship travels the worlds and times to fix temporal anomalies. Will you permit all of us to exit this hall and take a quick tour of my vessel?

Zuko:    Yes, ...

M:        Ozai, Zuko, Azula, please don’t firebend or you’ll be immediately executed by our security system. Katara, waterbending will result in a very nasty alarm going off. So please no bending, ok?

They moved through a long hallway with adjacent hallways and chambers. Then they passed a gigantic open hall, itself as big as the center of Ba Sing Se, full of lightened windows in which thousands of pods were flying from one point to the other. They had never seen anything like that.

Another door opened and they all entered a broad passage. Bird noises were playing, they passed a singing janitor robot.

  At the end of the hallway they arrived at a dining hall with a huge window outside which several galaxies were visible. A view of open space. Several soldiers were present in the room entering, leaving or serving tea.

  M:        We are in deep space at the rim of two touching universes which are called the Vega multiverse. Your world is a habitated planet in one galaxy in the universe on the other side, we are now in my universe near my home galaxy and planet. The shining gap there is the wormhole between both galaxies. The blue dot there is my home enlarged. Please. Sit down, drink this marvellous white tea and listen.

  Planets, which contain intelligent life at the same time, are very rare in the multiverse. Millions of years ago, our universes collided and created the Vega multiverse. Two universes which did partially melt together. Your civilizations and the ones of this universe are closely interdependent. Each of the universes contain thousands of galaxies in which you have again thousands of star systems. Our cluster of galaxies is called Laniakea.  Millions of years ago, this collision of Laniakea with your universe threw many galaxies from one universe to the other which means that they still are entangled on a quantum mechanical level with the other original universe. Bluntly said, they switched places. We can travel from one to the other through a wormhole.

  My home planet is called Earth. Earth is entangled with your world. In three weeks, a very big asteroid will appear over your planet and within a year will be sucked into its atmosphere. The impact will burn your whole planet. All life will perish. As my planet is closely entangled with yours, it will cease to exist at the same time. We are powerful. We have big space ships, but all our vessels are too heavy to land on an asteroid without breaking it into small pieces. The Asteriod we are talking about is as big as the whole fire nation, but its brittle and icy with huge parts of iron ore in its center. If it breaks, its parts will still destroy the planet. We need to slowly melt it away during several weeks until it is small enough to be smashed into tiny pieces. The only thing light and yet powerful enough to do something like that are firebenders, waterbenders and earthbenders.

  The audience was mindblown, only Ozai seemed unimpressed.

  M:        And this is why I need the best benders of your world to save both our worlds. If you decline to help, we‘ll all die. Even time itself will stop. I am asking a lot of you. And instead of rotting in a jail and looney bin these two firestarters could help to save two worlds and vindicate themselves.

Z:         How do I know you’re telling the truth?

M:        You will see the asteroid in about three weeks in the night sky above the water tribes northern pole. Please go there and see for yourself and in the meantime let me work with Ozai.

Katara: I know where we can go to see if anything of this is true.

Sokka: We’ll meet up with the northern water tribes. And if you’re lying we’ll know that you’re a fraud.

Zuko had a gloomy look on his face.

  They left the presentation room and proceeded to the pod bay as Zuko had wished to depart. The pod bay was a platform at the edge of the inner open core of the ship where pods were landing and taking off.

  M:        So shall we meet in three weeks then at the noth pole? I could get far with Ozai in these three weeks.

Z:         I will not allow father to stay here. You command 10000 men and you have carnal relations with my father who is a state enemy. I will not risk him to take over your ship and use it to conquer back the Fire Nation. He will come with me.

M:        Please, Firelord Zuko, respect the legal ruling. If you want him back, bring a court order and I will comply.

Z:         I need no court ruling. I am the Firelord, I decide.

O:        Finally you’re owning up to your crown. I told you about this, remember? Your word is law. Finally one lesson you learnt from me. I am proud of you, son. Mya, I love you, but my place is with my people. I will think of you every waking moment, my love. And in my dreams too.

M:        You can’t just leave, Ozai. I love you, I need you here, by my side.

Z:         You should have a better choice in lovers. But don’t fret, I have a gift for you. You can keep my sister instead. I heard she also likes girls...

A:         Zuko! You can’t do this! Father!

O:        Azula, I am sorry, my hands are bound. I will think of you both, my dear girls. Azula, I am so sorry, but seize the chance. You’re young and fierce, you’ll thrive on these stars! Make your mark, make me proud like always!

Z:         ??? I never saw you being so... supportive, kind and ... emotional.

O:        People can change, son.

[alia15]

THE day. Part 2.

Peacocks.

My wedding venue is swarming with them. 

Well, those, and chickens and turkeys. And roosters.

The Milleridge Cottage is on a larger property on Long Island that’s been around for many, MANY years and also has a restaurant, an adorable little village (shops, a bakery, a florist) and yes: a farm. 

When our limo bus pulled up to the cottage on Friday, November 15, my bridal party was greeted by all the wildlife which I’ll admit is an interesting and hilarious scene on your wedding day. Also, not mentioned in Part 1? The weather. Bright, sunny, and warm for mid-November. I refused to check the weather the entire week of the wedding (you can’t control it so why bother looking?) and it ended up being an absolutely perfect fall day. I greeted the turkeys, walked into the venue and the scene immediately took my breath away: I loved The Milleridge the second we stepped foot inside to look at it as a potential option for our big day, and loved it even more each time I visited after that. Now? Seeing it all set up for my wedding day? It was everything I envisioned and more. I made my way up the beautiful staircase and waited in the bridal suite for my groom and his groomsmen to arrive. 

There were those butterflies again.

There was so much commotion downstairs that I wasn’t able to be a part of as I was in hiding (#FOMO), but the time finally came for me to head down those stairs and meet my soon-to-be-husband at the bottom. Remember the crazy thoughts in my head from Part 1 of this post? They came back as I imagined myself tumbling down those stairs after tripping over my very long, large dress. 

I walked REALLY carefully. And slowly.

Leo was at the bottom of the staircase and in front of him stood a crowd of our family and best friends; standing there like paparazzi with their iPhones up and the biggest smiles plastered on their faces. Our photographers and videographer captured my every move. What a scene. I eventually made my way down (without falling! win!) and tapped Leo on the shoulder to, ya know, say what’s up before the biggest moment of our lives. 

We both joked that while we loved this moment, it certainly wasn’t a private one. This was some of our audience (plus about 30 more people, lol):

The next few hours (yes, plural) were spent taking all our photos and thankfully, we were able to do so outside. If you know me or follow me on social media, you know how much I love a good sunset, and the universe did me a solid and gave us an amazing one that night. 

It was crazy to think at this point -- after SEVERAL hours -- that the main event hadn’t even started yet. After wrapping up pictures with everyone, we headed inside. 

I went back up to the bridal suite to hide for the second time that day. 

The venue got louder and louder as it filled up with guests, and all I heard were the sounds of a large CROWD. My heart raced. I fixed my hair and re-applied my lip gloss 37 times. I stood up. I paced. I sat back down. I didn’t want to look at my phone because I knew it would overwhelm me, so it was just me up there with my restless thoughts. The day had been so perfect already; I just wanted it to continue. A few things swirling in my mind:

Would the reverend show up? (He did)

The venue was confusing to find; were people going to know to go to the cottage and not the restaurant? (They did) (And whoever didn’t, eventually figured it out)

Did anyone in my life get incredibly sick that day and have to miss the wedding? (No)

Were our young nieces and nephews going to have meltdowns and not walk down the aisle? (quite the opposite; they were amazing)

Was there any drama? ANYONE WHO CRASHED OUR WEDDING? Is everything OK down there? WHAT’S HAPPENING??! (shut up, crazy)

Eventually, it was time. All of our guests were situated for the ceremony and our bridal party was lined up downstairs. And things could not have gone smoother: no one tripped, no one objected to our nuptials (lol), the kiddos were perfectly behaved and cooperative, and our reverend was a HUGE hit (shout out to the hilarious and charismatic Rev. Sica!). It was a beautiful ceremony complete with an amazing string quartet, and I swore I felt the love in the room before I even entered it.

We were officially husband and wife. And it felt fantastic.

After our relatively brief ceremony, I felt like I was floating on a cloud. We headed back up to the bridal suite to get a quick breather before cocktail hour began; something my bridal attendant had recommended we do and I am SO glad we listened. Normally if I’m anxious I lose my appetite, but Leo and I enjoyed our own private cocktail hour and ate the INCREDIBLE spread they provided for us. Every few seconds it would hit us.

Holy crap, we’re married! 

My bridal attendant bustled my dress, and it was time to join the party. I could NOT wait to see everyone.

The magic continued as we greeted everyone at our cocktail hour and took in the whole scene. It was surreal and a total out-of-body experience. You spend SO much time and energy planning a wedding and you focus on all the details -- large and small -- and then you’re there just seeing it all come together and come to life. I can honestly say without a shadow of a doubt that EVERYTHING looked and felt the way I wanted it to that day. I was overjoyed and overwhelmed, in a good way. So many people had given me the advice to “take it all in” and “enjoy every moment” and I’m really happy to say I did exactly that.

The good times intensified as we did our official entrance to our reception (”Let’s Dance” by David Bowie....come onnnnn now!) followed by *THE* most epic dance party of all time. One of my best friends, Carl, was our MC and he and our DJ, Eddie, brought the house down the entire night with an amazing mix of songs old and new. I did not leave that dance floor except the one time I changed dresses -- you know I had to do a costume change on ‘em! 

I could go on and on with the details but instead I’ll just share some incredible highlights from our reception:

Our first dance: Leo was nervous about it (it’s nerve-racking to have all eyes on you and he doesn’t exactly love to dance) but in the moment, nothing else mattered and no one else was even in the room. (Song: Precious Love by James Morrison) 

After that, I danced with my Grandmother; a really special moment that I will cherish forever. It was really emotional and beautiful; especially as the whole family (and Leo!) joined us at the end. 

The speeches! My brother Mike was my “man of honor” and Leo’s sister Rina was our “best woman” and both of them gave GREAT and hilarious toasts (with cameos from all my brother-in-laws). My dad gave an amazing one, too: let’s just say he made a joke about getting to second base that got a huge laugh (Leo’s a baseball coach. lol). 

Birthday celebrations! It was my brother’s 40th birthday that day and my mother-in-law’s was the following day, so we were able to sing to them and give them their own special cupcakes and candles to blow out. 

The father/daughter & mother/son dances.

Our live painter! He set up shop in the corner of the room and painted our first dance and added our families to the portrait (I’ll include the photo at the bottom of the post!). I waited until the end of the night to go look at it and was genuinely stunned.

Ending the night with two perfect songs: (I’ve Had) the Time of My Life -- from one of my favorite movies of all time, obvi -- and then my friend Pat requested the grand finale/encore: “Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays” by ‘NSYNC. (This is his trademark and is known to play this song when we’re out even in the summer)

Speaking of the end of the night, we had a McDonald’s cart rolled in around 11:15 and the guests went crazy for it. Nothing like stuffing your face at a wedding and then ending the night with a greasy cheeseburger and fries. Leo had it for breakfast the next morning.

Aside from the hotel’s fire alarm going off around 4am (yes, really) it was a perfect day from start to finish. Now, almost six months later, I find my mind wandering to the memories of November 15 when I’m feeling especially low or down in the dumps. I look at the pictures often and the various videos make me instantly happy. People told me during/after the wedding how insanely happy I looked, and it was genuine. I was. I am.

It’s not hyperbole: my wedding day was the best day of my life. I got to marry my perfect match while surrounded by every single human in my life that I love endlessly. I got to have a great dance party, eat incredible food, all while surrounded by a beautiful venue with all the personal touches we had worked on for the nine months prior. 

The pandemic might have prevented us from going on our Italian honeymoon, but that’s okay. We’ll get there someday. I’m just eternally grateful and relieved that we were able to have all our other big wedding moments (engagement, shower, bachelor/ette parties, rehearsal dinner, wedding!) all in the same year -- making 2019 really hard to top. 

Thanks for letting me share the story of our big day with you all! 

[hemsworths-chris]

some tag games

stuff is under the cut

tagging: @tcrtarus, @ctaeth, @fleurrdelacour @jilys, @blcise, @nargles, @pctter, @infaernal, @petrichovr, and @franciskinloch; you don’t have to do these if you don’t want to 

first one:

was tagged by @asoftdante!

if i were a month, i’d be: june or may or september if i were a day of the week, i’d be: tuesday or saturday if i were a planet, i’d be: mercury if i were a sea animal, i’d be: sea slug seahorse if i were a god/goddess, i’d be: hestia or athena  if i were a piece of furniture, i’d be: a beanbag lmao if i were a gemstone, i’d be: turquoise or sapphire if i were a flower, i’d be: blue columbine corpse flower if i were a kind of weather, i’d be: sunny day with few clouds if i were a colour, i’d be: the color of the tropical sea if i were an emotion, i’d be: almost drunk happiness if i were a fruit, i’d be: strawberry if i were a sound, i’d be: laughter if i were an element, i’d be: fire if i were a place, i’d be: bookstore if i were a mythological creature, i’d be: phoenix if i were a taste, i’d be: spice if i were a scent, i’d be: vanilla/coconut if i were an object, i’d be: a laptop or a gel pen if i were a body part, i’d be: fingers, lips, eyes if i were a song, i’d be: non-stop / hamilton (oops) if i were a pair of shoes, i’d be: black low converses

next:

tagged by @njmphadora (whose formatting i borrowed oops), and a similar one by @stagpotter and @ohpottecr 

rules - put your music on shuffle and list the first ten songs, then tag ten people!

  1.   miss jackson // panic! at the disco feat. lolo   2.   96000 // lin-manuel miranda + obc of in the heights   3.   i’m so sorry // imagine dragons   4.   something wild // lindsey stirling feat. andrew macmahon   5.   in your pocket // maroon 5   6.   gold // kiiara   7.   galway girl // ed sheeran   8.   young and menace // fall out boy   9.   smile // mikky ekko 10.   angel with a shotgun // the cab

also some other songs i’m vibing to (as @stagpotter had in their tag): location // khalid; heaven in hiding // halsey; fourth of july // fall out boy; all i want // kodaline (yeah my taste is Basic)

next:

i was tagged by @ilithiyas! 

RULES: Using only song titles of one artist/band, cleverly answer the questions and then tag 20 people.

Artist/Band: Fall Out Boy What is your gender: You're Crashing But You're No Wave How do you feel: Where Did the Party Go / The Mighty Fall / Honorable Mention If you could go anywhere: Saturday Favourite Mode of Transportation: Moving Pictures / Reinventing the Wheel to Run Myself Over Your Best Friend: Golden / Miss Missing You Favourite Time of the Day: Eternal Summer / Calm Before The Storm If Your Life Was a Tv Show: Disloyal Order of Water Buffaloes / Champagne for My Real Friends, Real Pain for My Sham Friends Relationship Status: From Now on, We Are Enemies / Alone Together / Caffeine Cold Your Fear: Growing Up / The Mighty Fall

next:

tagged by @alrightevains and @asoftdante <3

you must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people (damn)

THE LAST: 1. Drink: tea

2. Phone call: don’t recall

3. Text message: group chat of friends on hangouts

4. Song you listened to: apparently run away by chase atlantic

5. Time you cried: don’t remember

HAVE YOU EVER: 6. Dated someone twice: single always

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: never kissed anyone

8. Been cheated on: not in a relationship

9. Lost someone special: y e s

10. Been depressed: sorta, depends on how you define the word

11. Gotten drunk: off happiness? yeah. out of alcohol? no

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS: 12-14: aqua, the color of the hawaiian sea; navy blue, almost black; lime green

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: many online, some irl

16. Fallen out of love: sorta

17. Laughed until you cried: ofc

18. Found out someone was talking about you: far too often

19. Met someone who changed you: loads of my friends

20. Found out who your friends were: almost

21. Kissed someone on your fb list: wha

GENERAL: 22. How many of your fb friends do you know irl: don’t use fb

23. Do you have any pets: I WANT A FUCKING CAT SO BADLY OML

24. Do you want to change your name: maybe idk prob not

25. What did you do for your last birthday: sleepover with friends

26. What time did you wake up: depends - 7:15 on schooldays, 10:30 on weekends/summer

27: What were you doing at midnight last night: snoozing

28. Name something you can’t wait for: the rest of season 4 of turn; fob’s new album; the start of high school

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: a minute ago

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: my mediocrity at everything

31. What are you listening to rn: distant conversation

32. Have you talked to a person named Tom: i don’t think so

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: slow wifi

34. Most viewed website: prob tumblr rip

35. Mole/s: a few

36. Mark/s: a few

37. Childhood dream: becoming an astronomer or a writer, and it’s still the same

38. Hair colour: black

39. Long or short hair: medium

40. Do you have a crush on someone: nope, i don’t Get crushes weirdly enough

41. What do you like about yourself: nothing, mainly? i can write decently sometimes and occasionally i get my shit together in debate

42. Piercings: one per ear

43. Bloodtype: i don’t know and nor do my parents rip

44. Nickname: more like mispronounciations 

45. Relationship status: single, thankfully

46. Zodiac: sagittarius

47. Pronouns: she/her

48. Favourite TV show: turn: washington’s spies and the late show with stephen colbert tbh

49. Tattoos: none

50. Right ot left hand: right

51. Surgery: none yet

52. Piercing: again, one per ear

53. Sport: volleyball, used to swim

55. Vacation: i’m on vacation in india rn

56. Pair of trainers: nikes

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: something i wanna do rn - i like pasta lmao

58. Drinking: nothing

59. I’m about to: finish this freaking ask meme

61. Waiting for: july 11 when we get back, and aug 23 when school starts

62. Want: to go back to california

63. Get married: hopefully not

64. Career: astrophysicist? lawyer? writer?

WHICH IS BETTER ? 65. Hugs or kisses: haven’t gotten any kisses on the lips, but hugs

66. Lips or eyes: eyes

67. Shorter or taller: taller bc i’m tol

68. Older or younger: idk? younger prob

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: arms

71. Sensitive or loud: loud

72. Hook-up or relationship: er? idk?

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: t r o u b l e m a k e r

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a stranger: no

75. Drank hard liquor: no

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: never had either

77. Turned someone down: probably on something

78. Sex on the fist date: i’m fucking 14

79. Broken someones heart: maybe prob not

80. Had your heart broken: on a shallow level

81. Been arrested: yes i’m secretly on the run bc i was arrested for murder wtf

82. Cried when someone died: no one i’ve known has died yet, thankfully

83. Fallen for a friend: not rly

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: not rly

85. Miracles: sorta

86. Love at first sight: sorta

87. Santa Claus: nah

88. Kiss on the first date: perhaps, depends on circumstance

89. Angels: no, not rly

OTHER: 90. Current best friends name: elena

91. Eyecolour: dark brown

92. Favourite movie: i love the now you see me series, and wonder woman was incredible

[notesfromthepen]

THE MAKING OF AN OUTLAW

THE MAKING OF AN OUTLAW

I was five years old when I smoked my first cigarette. 

It took me and my best friend john a week of planing. Which is an eternity when your five. A few days in and we seriously considered just waiting until we were adults. But the plan was already in motion.

We lived in military housing for enlisted men with families in Fort Campbell Kentucky. Military brats. We stayed just a few houses from one another. Initially you might think that growing up on a military base would provide the much needed structure and discipline to otherwise deviant youths. You'd be wrong. In a way we were all children of single parent households. The patriarchs were gone all day, at the same time, creating a "Lord of the Flies" free-for-all for the hordes of adolescents that swarmed the base. Many firsts in my life happened on military bases. Where men are men and kids are heathens.

John and I were best friends, more like co-parented brothers actually. We spent most of our time at his house. He had all the cool shit, namely a Nintendo game system. Our households were very different. Both with macho, old school, fathers who believed a good ass whooping trumps a good talking to every time. But that's where the similarities ended.

My house was what you'd probably expect of a decorated military man and war hero. The air of a no nonsense authoritarian rule filled our dwelling and my psyche. However that was only when dad was there. Mom was the complete counter balance to dads energy. A punk rock chick that spent her teens partying with bands and madman like the Ramones, MC5, and Patti Smith. Mom has always been a free thinking, tough, rebellious, and completely loving woman. It was a completely odd paring but the balance of the two extremes worked well. 

Johns house was a completely different vibe. Where my house had two strong personalities that competed for control. Johns had one clear ruler and his agenda was decadence and fun. They had all the newest toys and implements of entertainment. Big TVs, calico vision, VCR's and...... A Nintendo Entertainment System!.. The N.E.S! For those of you who were born in to a world with preexisting gaming systems I cannot over state the mind blowing affect of the first Nintendo system.

Johns parents smoked like chimneys, drank competitively and had a knee high stack of playboys next to the toilet.. A fucking wonderland for a kid. I wasn't aware of the term "white trash" at the time and even of I was, if that's what they were, I would have thought of it as high praise. 

All the houses on the base were the same. Bare bones, two bedroom houses with a flat roofs and a wooden sheds towards the back. 

Much of the neighborhood debauchery took place in or around those sheds.

Its rare to be able to pin point exactly when and where you became a man. For me it was the first time a caught a glimpse of the inside of johns dads shed. Every inch was plastered with the centerfolds of adult magazines. Vixens with giant breasts, startling tan lines and even more startling bushes (it was the eighties). It might sound tame now, in the post internet world of porn hub but trust me when I tell you it was life changing. Im pretty sure that I sprouted a single pube right there on the spot.

Neither me or John were saints before our latest plan. We'd both sipped the last swigs in our dads beers before, took part in petty vandalism, had been into our fare share of fights, and we were now both veterans of perusing adult magazines, and so we decided the next logical step in our initiation into adulthood was to start smoking cigarettes. Again...We were five!

It wasn't a complex plan, however it was high risk. Since we were practically men now a lil risk was nothing to be afraid of. 

We made a list of the implements necessary to accomplish our goals. It was a short list: A lighter, two cigarettes, and that's pretty much it. We would get the supplies in stages. We decided to get the cigarettes first. They would be the least likely to be missed. If we made it through phase one unnoticed and unscathed then we would proceed to phase two operation "fire grab". Which was just the stealing of a lighter.

The heist would take place at johns house because, well, my parents didn't smoke. We staked out the area, the players, and the goods for a full day. Johns dad was a "no-go" for several reasons. one: he wasn't there during the day. Two (and far more importantly): was the real threat of physical violence. Johns mom, on the other hand, was there all day, left her cigarettes in the kitchen, and we were confident that we could out run her if shit went sideways. She would be the mark. 

The next day we would snag one cigarette from her pack, stash it,.and repeat the process the following day, as to not arouse the suspicion that two missing cigarettes might cause.

John showed up at my house right after breakfast. We walked to his place and formulated our plan of action. Since his mom was never stationary for too long we'd need a distraction. That would be johns job. Leaving the thievery to yours truly.

We approached his front door. My heart rate began to increase as we closed in on the threshold to the little square house. Upon entering, the kitchen was immediately on the left. John pointed a the table at the far end of the kitchen. He mouthed the words "right there". A soft pack of cigarettes sat under a red lighter perched atop the table. I tip toed into the kitchen as he went to run interference on our unsuspecting mark. His mom sat on the couch in the living room folding laundry in front of the TV. Between the laundry and the soap opera drama she was completely enthralled. In hind sight our "distraction" was not only completely unnecessary but it almost did us in. As I approached the table and silently lifted the lighter off the the pack of smokes, John said "hey mom whatcha doing?" 

There were two doors leading into the kitchen. One in the entryway of the house and the other, at the other opened into the living room, where johns mom sat with her back to me and the table. If she turned around she would have immediately saw me handling her pack of cigs.

Johns question startled her out of her soap induced trance. She briefly looked around. I froze with lighter in one hand a her pack of smokes in the other. My heart had never beat so fast. Just before her head swung around far enough to witness the crime in progress John picked up the remote and changed the channel. "Can we watch Space Balls?" asked my codefendant. She stopped dead in her tracks “Goddamn it John!! Go out side and play!" To this day I've yet to meet more than a handful of people more capable than a five year old John in that moment.

As quick as a magician I pulled a single cigarette from the pack, placed it back on the table and positioned the red lighter on top, exactly as I found them. 

With the contraband secured we shot out of the house like two bottle rockets. The screen door slammed behind us partially trapping the string of obscenities that followed.

Once far enough away we slowed to a walk. My heart still pounding but in a different way. 

So began my true addiction. An addiction to that special mix of adrenaline and chaos brought on by the subverting of rules. An addiction that has followed me like a shadow for my entire life.

It wasn't the first cigarette that I'd ever seen but it felt like it.I rolled it between my fingers examining its details. I looked the little brown filter with the tiny imperfections in the coloring. I noticed the horizontal lines, so thin that they were almost invisible, on the white paper of the cigarette. I stuck it under my nose like a fake mustache and inhaled the aroma. it smelled so much nicer that the ones in he ashtrays at johns house. I looked around before letting it hang from between my lips like I'd seen the neighborhood teens do at the park. John was less enamored by the spoils of our heist. He'd probably already done this foreplay to smoking a few times.

We made it to the shed of a uninhabited house on my street. I went in and stashed the cigarette on one of the two by fours in the dark wooden box. Step one was now complete.

The plan was to let another day pass before going back to snag the remaining implements of our delinquency.

The next day, our day of inaction, crept by at a snails pace. We bull shitted around trying to distract ourselves from the single cigarette waiting to be smoked in the empty shed. 

There were two parks on the base: Sunny park and Shady park. At that age things are clearly defined, either black or white. There aren't many grey areas when your five. The two parks on the base were perfect representations of this hard line. The parks gained their nicknames obviously enough; one was sunny and the other shady. But the meanings ran deeper and its taken years of perspective to fully appreciate the depth and meaning of the two parks.

Sunny park was designed by convince. The block of houses in the center of the neighborhood created a huge field in their collective backyards. In the center of this sea of green sat the makings of a playground: swing sets, monkey bars, a slide, a merry-go-round and a big dome of interconnecting metal bars that created a geometric contraption to play on or bash your shins against. Not a single tree or bush grew in the field. Every inch was bathed in unobstructed sunlight and every action visible from the rear windows of the surrounding houses. Windows constantly manned by the bored and nosey housewives of the enlisted men. 

No one under the age of twelve used Sunny park for anything other than a short cut to the other park.

Shady park, on the other hand, was designed by no one.

Shady park was tucked away in a wooded area, on the outskirts of the neighborhood, hence the name. Dirt paths leading in and out of the park cut between the towering trees. The occasional few rays of sunlight that made it through the foliage created islands of light on the park floor.

I'd walked past Shady park everyday on my way to school. From the side walk you could hear the older kids in the park skipping school. The crash of breaking bottles, foul language, and general teenage revelry was the soundtrack to my walk. Every few steps I'd catch a glimpse of the forbidden playground and its inhabitants. A mixture of fear and excitement gave goosebumps to my skin.

So in an attempt to burn through the rest of our day, while we waited for tomorrow to bring us phase two of our heist, we decided that we were ready for a romp through the darker of the two parks. After all, we were just a few days and a couple of puffs on a cigarette away from becoming men.

I remind you that this was the eighties. A decade where the, now cliche, douchebag bullies from eighties movies really existed. 

Around the same time one of my cousin Judy's "friends", complete with long ratty hair, fingerless gloves, and a single dangly cross earring, flinched at me like he was gonna punch me in the face and said "Fuck you pussy!" Again, I was five! He must have been seventeen going on forty. I was so young, small, and Asian that he had to flinch down at me.. This goon was completely serious too. A hundred percent unaware. It was so par for the course at the time that only after entering adulthood did I realize how ridiculous it was. 

Man I miss those days and that specific brand of asshole. And I only mention this to give reason for our trepidation of Shady park and the characters we were likely to meet up with.

John came over and we walked towards the park. We approached the foot path that lead into the park. A path that I'd walked past a thousand times, always knowing, in the back of my mind, that the time would come when I was meant to follow it. Today was that day. Ten steps in and we were in a different world. It was oddly quiet and noticeably darker. The thought that we'd interrupt a group truant teens knee deep in some sort of unholy communion made me queazy. John was the silent type but I knew he felt the same. 

About ten yards in, the narrow dirt path split in two, then three, then four paths, before opening up to the Shadiest of parks.

Huge sections of concrete tubes, big enough for us to walk through, littered the park at random intervals and angles. The left over artifacts of some unfinished drainage project. Each cylinder with its own custom smattering of spray painted obscenities and vulgar pictograms. Some familiar others confusing. On one tube, a giant red dick seemed to be assaulting some sort of hairy clam standing on end.

The park felt and sounded empty. 

We huddled in the first tube that we came to, the one with the clam, to get our bearings. The bottom of the tube glittered with jewels. Diamonds, emeralds, and gems of every color crunched under our feet. At the opening of the other end of the tube sat the biggest gem id ever seen. An emerald with part of a 7up logo on it. Some of the smaller shards had been there so long that their edges were dull and rounded. We picked the best ones and put them in our pockets, to build our fortunes with later.

We exited the concrete tunnel and made our way into the heart of the park. An old swing set was the center piece. Large chunks of green paint had been chipped away exposing rusted metal. The stillness and the silence made for an eerie setting. John kicked one of the swings. The chains creaked and rattled forever. It was like time stopped. Like we were un-welcomed visitors. We were technically [in] the park but something was off. We were tourists. Sightseers... Trespassers. 

We walked to the decrepit merry-go-round and sat down. It groaned under our insignificant weight. I don't remember what we said. Probably nothing. John kicked at some pebbles. The chains of the swing set eventually went silent. 

Finally, I said "let's get outta here." 

We walked home in relative silence. I knew that things would be different once we smoked those cigarettes. The forbidden part of the world would finally open up to us. We'd be adults. We'd be enlightened.

I could hardly sleep the night before the next phase of the heist. It was like Christmas morning. I woke early, poured a bowl of cereal, and sat down in front of the TV. Before I could drink the pink tinted milk from the bowl John was at the door.

"Bobby, John's here." I jumped up, tossed the bowl into the sink, and ran outside.

When I saw john he was already smiling. "You ready?" he asked. 

Now, the plan was to grab the last cigarette today and the lighter tomorrow. So I assumed he meant "was I ready for phase two?" When in fact he meant "Are you ready to do this?" 

He looked around before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a a single cigarette and a red lighter! What i did to deserve such a sneaky, conniving, grab the bull by the horns, type of best friend like John I'll never know, but I was grateful.

My palms started to sweat. Hesitation and fear fought for control. Reasons to abandon our plan suddenly flooded my mind. However it didn't take long for another kind of fear, the fear of looking like a pussy, to override my better judgement. Such is life. 

With chests out, strutting like roosters we walked to our shed of inequities. Some of the neighborhood kids were gathered in a driveway. They couldn't help but notice the confidence. Or maybe it was the cigarette that dangled from my lips. I pretended not to notice them as we neared, feigning a conversation with John. 

One of the kids, I can't remember his name, ran up and asked "John, what you guys doing? That ain't a real cigarette is it?" 

To which I smirked at him. 

"Nothing" said John and we kept walking. John flicked the lighter as we made our way down the street.

We made it the house, up the side and to the shed out back. John struggled to open the door. He had to lean with all his weight to force it open. 

I followed him into the dark and musty wooden box. I grabbed the cigarette that we'd stashed away and tried to hand it to John. His back was to me as he leaned his head out the door.

"Get outta here, we're busy!" 

"Here" I said and handed him the cigarette. As he took it I glanced out the door. The two boys we walked past were coming up the side yard. I pretended to be pissed but was secretly glad to have an audience. I mean what was the point of being an outlaw if no one was there to witness it? 

At this point the cigarettes were merely symbolic. 

"Forget them" I said.."Gimme the lighter." 

I grabbed the lighter and flicked it several times before it sprung a flame.

This was years before burn stop cigarettes and child-proof lighters that infuriate the drunk and elderly smokers of today. 

I held the lighter out and lit johns cigarette before lighting mine. 

I need to make this perfectly clear. At the time I had absolutely no idea how to inhale. The idea alone would have confused me. As far as I was concerned you just puffed on the cigarette by pulling air into your mouth. But none of it really mattered. This wasn't about smoking anymore. It was about rebellion.

We both stood there puffing away, filling the small shed with smoke almost immediately. I did my best impression of an outlaw who had done this a thousand times. But the fact that my eyes were starting to water from the smoke almost gave me away for the rookie I was. 

As I fought back the tears two more nosey kids made their way up to the shed. It was the two black girls that lived next door to me. They were sisters (I mean that in their relation not color, though I guess both could apply). I don't remember their names and any attempt to guess would probably just come off as a tad "stereotype". 

I do remember that, of the two, I liked the younger one. She was sweet and funny. Her older sister was an asshole, already jaded by the ripe old age of seven. She was mean and spiteful. I was actually glad that she was there to witness my bad-assery, maybe now she would give me the respect that I deserved. 

The entire time the onlookers said nothing. They just stood witness, looking dumbfounded. 

We finished our cigarettes, left the shed, and walked through the kids gathered around the shed. The older of my neighbors, the jaded seven yr old, said "ewwwwww" in a admonishing tone as we walked by.

John and I walked home together. The only words spoken were his":I gotta get this lighter back." I nodded and we parted ways. 

I got home and went straight to the bathroom to brush my teeth. I went to my room and sat on my bed. I sat there staring at my Hulk Hogan poster and realized that I didn't feel any different. I wasn't more mature. I wasn't more bad-ass. I wasn't an Outlaw..

Some time passed, it felt like hours but I can't be sure, when my mom opened my door a crack and said "don't go anywhere your dad wants to talk to you when he gets home." My heart sank. I knew it was a wrap. Right then and there I knew it was over. A mixture of panic, embarrassment, and fear set in.

I wasn't a tough guy. I was a scared kid afraid of an ass whipping.

It turns out that as soon as we left the shed the neighbor girl ratted me out. My dad came home, promptly threatened to hand me a sore ass, reminded me that I was anything but a tough guy compared to him, and grounded me for a month.

So there it was: my life as an outlaw had started and ended in a single afternoon.

Life has a strange way of giving you, not what you want, but only what you're ready for in that exact moment. And there's no way of cheating life. No way of speeding up the process.

And so for the time being, Shady park and my life as an outlaw would have to wait...