#special boy tzi

[hihimissamericanbi]

oooh have you answered 8 + 10?? :)

Hello tzi!! Again, thanks for your patience 🥰🥰🥰

8. I answered 8 here 🐕

10. What memories would you hide in a Pensieve before giving occlumency lessons?

Depends on who I'm giving them to, but I think baseline is anything intimate with my partner, physical or otherwise. I love bringing pleasure to people through fantasies I create, and I'll talk frankly about sex and my personal experiences where appropriate, but our actual relationship is, ya know. Ours.

Thank you so much for the ask 💗

HP Hard hitting questions

[hihimissamericanbi]

Oh hell yes Snitch perfect opportunity to rec Tzi’s incredible piece for last year’s @rsbigbang

back to the old house

By @saintlupin

Rated: E

Word Count: 20k

Art by: @yesnoidkiguess

Summary:

During the first war Remus, Sirius, and Regulus find themselves stuck in 12 Grimmuald Place. Unable to leave until the two war-torn brothers make some sort of peace, Remus discovers a complex dynamic he'd never once thought much about. Coming to understand Sirius in a completely new light, Remus finds himself enamored with the pieces of Sirius he sees unraveling before him, falling deeper in love with his closest friend and only ally in a house haunted by the wounds of the past.

~~~

I finally finished this and it was worth saving for just the right moment. If you are scared of the tags like I was, I recommend going ahead and reading the very end of the fic first so you know where the arc is heading. Doing so helped me savor the complexity of the Black Brother relationship and also the truly beautiful love story between Remus and Sirius, without losing myself to a cute little spiral which would have happened if I were to have rawdogged it (sorry for the disgusting but appropriate pun).

BUT if those tags don’t intimidate you, definitely don’t spoil the end because the narrative arc really is just gorgeous and deserves to be experienced as written.

And Anya, I lick every drawing you ever make and you were the PERFECT pairing for this fic. Your quiet, understated yet unique style fit the haunting moment the house brought forth between Sirius and his mother. Just wow. Also Sirius’ pissed off little face I can’t 😂

TL;DR: wolfstar are in love, the black brothers are fighting their way back to each other, and while canon may not give them all the happy ending they deserve, this exquisite story brings us a shred of light our beloved characters could have possibly held amidst the darkness of the first war.

Reblog this with a Wolfstar fic rec that is (a) not written by you and (b) under 300 kudos.

I'll go first...

[sleepykittypaws]

A Sugar & Spice Holiday

Original Airdate: December 13, 2020 (Lifetime) Where to Watch?: Lifetime will re-air it in this, and likely future seasons, too; It’s also available to purchase on iTunes et al, or you can watch now, with ads, for a limited time, on mylifetime.com (cable login required)

A Sugar & Spice Holiday was another one of Lifetime's marquee 2020 holiday projects, and it shows. Great cast, great script and actual attention paid to telling a diverse, yet still cozy Christmas story. 

Lifetime's first Chinese-American Christmas tale (filmed, like most of these movies, entirely in Canada), it featured not only a main cast all of Asian descent—Jacky Lai, Tony Giroux, Tzi Ma, Lillian Lim and Cardi Wong—but also writer Eirene Donohue and director Jennifer Liao.

The diversity behind-the-scenes clearly helped shape some of the movie's best moments, like Lai's "Suzy" calling out the casual racisim of a co-worker, with a blunt, "I'm from Maine." Smart, funny and pointed, without feeling overly message-y. 

Wasn't really familiar with Lai before this, but she's sharp, funny and has great delivery, and the first 15-20 minutes of this movie was easily one of the very best of the season.

The movie followed a very traditional formula—successful businesswoman returns home and takes part in holiday baking contest with old crush—but turned it enough on its head to make it feel special, different and true to the characters. 

Introducing all the characters by comparing them to cookies was a genius move, that really worked, and I laughed out loud at the scone joke. There was tone of whimsy here that was incredibly charming, and truly endearing

Even the flashbacks, for once, really worked to help establish Nema as a real presence and influence in Suzy's life, though I'm not sure what we're supposed to think when she wakes up with the rolling pin in her arms. Is Ghost Grandma real? Was Suzy sleepwalking?

Even the ubuiqitious baking contest is improved with the addition of Grandma's recipe, and the metaphors about life and happiness. Plus, the rival baker, played by Sasha Hayden, was really making a meal of her villian role and I was there for every intentionally over-the-top moment. Not to mention that Prince Harry ginger cookies are a genius idea.

Unfortunately, love story was probably the least strong part of this story. Both actors were very charming, but they went from supposedly being annoyed with one another to absolutely in love with little expiation showed or given, and while I liked seeing a couple that actually gets together before the very end, and the recreating the Christmas Dance moment was extremely swoon-worthy (minus Giroux's white socks and tennis shoes with a tux look), just didn't see enough about how Suzy went from "Oh no, not him!" to "He's the one." 

The whole lost-my-project thing also really didn't seem to go anywhere, and was fairly unecessary. Not to mention unrealistic that she had so little frustration about it.

And, as with every Christmas movie, Sugar & Spice have used more Cardi Wong, here as Suzy’s underused brother. But do have to say the young boy cast as his son was spot in, at least in terms of resemblance, so much so that I tried to look up and see if they were actually related in some way. Anyway, the child actor is Micah Chen, and as far as I can tell, he and Wong aren't relatives, but it was pretty uncanny. I mean…

The ending, where (spoiler alert) Giroux's “Billy” decides to follow Suzy to Australia after she does, in fact, get the big Christmas promotion at work is perfect. A rare you-can-have-it-all moment in these movies that are constantly making women choose between success in their work or personal lives.

Honestly, the somewhat rushed love story is the only reason I'm not giving this one four-paws, but it was still one of my very favorite movies of the season, and if Lifetime could make a dozen movies a year like this and The Christmas Setup—with that quality, attention to detail and cleverness—instead of presenting 34 mediocre or worse movies of which only half a dozen are actually pretty good, they'd kick Hallmark's butt. Because when Lifetime movies work, they're a little fresher, a lot funnier and just the tinest bit more special than anything Hallmark has produced. A Sugar & Spice Holiday is one of those special movies, and well worth a watch.

Final Judgement: 3 Paws Up and now I'm craving pork buns

[chicagoindiecritics]

New from Jeff York on The Establishing Shot: “MULAN” CUTS THE PATRIARCHY DOWN TO SIZE IN A SHARP RETELLING

  Look past the controversies of how Disney released MULAN on their streaming service rather than in theaters, and star Liu Yifei’s political statements about Hong Kong, to concentrate on the actual movie. What you’ll find is an exceptionally well-done actioner with a lot to say about emancipation, prejudice, and fighting the good fight. You’ll also discover one of Disney’s very best adaptations of their animated classics, a re-telling wise enough to keep the best parts of its predecessor while largely making the film feel very much its own achievement.

In fact, the filmmakers weren’t precious at all about truly re-imagining the film, rendering it with more of a sense of CROUCHING TIGER, HIDDEN DRAGON than in the Disney style of animation. Gone are the musical numbers, various cutesy critters, and the dragon side-kick character Mushu (voiced by Eddie Murphy three years before he did Donkey in SHREK). What remains from the original 1998 film are the strong themes about loyalty, bravery, and being true to oneself, as well as the exciting battle sequences, and the unique take on what constitutes a Disney heroine.

Hua Mulan wasn’t a princess in that first film, nor in real life. Rather, she was a young woman trying to break out of the typical roles offered her during the feudal China of the Tang Dynasty. She’s struggling with such stakes in this 2020 version as well, only now her political convictions come through even stronger due to the film being told with a human cast and this era of too many women in power being dismissed as “nasty women.” Being strong, intelligent, and principled has never been so threatening to amoral men as it is during this election season, a perfect time for Mulan to cut such sexist patriarchy down to size.

In order for Mulan to join ‘the boys club’ in the film –  the army fighting on behalf of the Emperor – she must pretend to be a man. To combat marauding outsiders, a son from each family across the land is being drafted into service. Mulan’s family consists of two daughters, so the elder father (the estimable character actor Tzi Ma), already crippled from an old war wound, is tasked with answering the call. Mulan defies tradition and honor, disguising herself as a man to join up for duty and take her papa’s place.

At the training camp, she matches skills and wits with the boys, besting them in most instances. She even bonds with the other standout recruit, the handsome and ambitious Chen Honghui (Yoson An). Both fighters are characterized by their soldiering skills, not to mention their drive to succeed. Mulan views him as a potential love interest too, though the film’s B story isn’t given nearly as much time this go-round as you’d expect.

One of the smarter things that director Niki Caro and her screenwriters Rick Jaffa, Amanda Silver, Lauren Hynek, and Elizabeth Martin do in this version is to not overplay Mulan’s romantic leanings. Instead, they focus on Mulan’s relationships with the other characters surrounding her just as much, including Commander Tung (Donnie Yen), and most effectively, the enemy witch Xian Lang (Gong Li). Lang may be a baddie, a conjurer who can cast spells, morph into animals, and thwart the best battle plans, but she’s no heinous ghoul. Instead, she’s all but burnt out, beaten down by her own struggles within the world of men, a woman who’s both envious and protective of the young, female soldier going through similar skirmishes.

Amongst a strong cast and Liu’s prowess in the lead, Gong is the standout performance, bringing great gravitas to her part. She’s no cliched Disney hag here either, despite some snaggled fingernails that scratch and claw at various times in the story. Instead, her witch is all-too-recognizably human.

There are a dozen others in supporting roles who make vivid impressions, and Caro really spends time showing Mulan’s specific interactions with each of them. That’s all the more surprising, given that stars like Yen and Jet Li as the Emperor are primarily known for being martial arts movie stars. They get a chance to strut their stuff onscreen here too but excel at the dialogue and character interactions just as much.

Caro shoots all the action clearly and economically, and never glosses over missing coverage via jacked-up editing. There’s a LORD OF THE RINGS style of grandeur and intimacy to each set-piece. Cinematographer Mandy Walker ensures geography is king when it comes to the battle sequences, showing the armies in the context of one another, as well as their landscapes. David Coulson’s editing never rushes shots, choosing instead to hang on character reactions a beat longer than you’d expect to give more time to each performance. In its way, this is actually an actor’s action picture.

MULAN does have some flaws. The costumes are too colorful and pristine, some scenes are overlit, and, occasionally, Harry Gregson-Williams’ musical cues are rather on-the-nose. (He’s a terrific composer, but I did prefer the original animated movie’s score by the legendary Jerry Goldsmith). The special effects budget doesn’t quite match that of an Avengers movie either, yet all in all, this is one very-well produced adventure with so much location work, it’s breathtaking.

Many may dislike the decision, but I think Disney was rather shrewd to release MULAN on VOD as they’ve done. The grandeur and scope shine through no matter what the platform, the same with the intimacy. And for those families that fear venturing back into the theater during the pandemic, Disney has done their best to make this winning remake accessible. I hope this new MULAN reaches the large audience it deserves.

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[malte1mj-blog]

2006/2007 TV Awards

2006/2007 Best Drama Series: Battlestar Galactica Friday Night Lights Lost The Sopranos The Wire HONORABLE MENTION: Boston Legal, Brothers and Sisters, Deadwood, Dexter, Grey’s Anatomy, Heroes, House, Lost, Medium, The Riches, Rome, Veronica Mars Best Actor - Drama Series: Kyle Chandler, Friday Night Lights - "Eyes Wide Open" Michael Chiklis, The Shield - "Chasing Ghosts" James Gandolfini, The Sopranos - "Kennedy and Heidi" Michael C. Hall, Dexter - "Pilot" Hugh Laurie, House - "Words and Deeds" James Spader, Boston Legal - "Angel of Death" HONORABLE MENTION: Jamie Bamber, Battlestar Galactica; Matthew Fox, Lost; Eddie Izzard, The Riches; Anthony LaPaglia, Without a Trace; Denis Leary, Rescue Me; Kevin McKidd, Rome; Ian McShane, Deadwood; Christopher Meloni, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit; Edward James Olmos, Battlestar Galactica; Timothy Olyphant, Deadwood; James Purefoy, Rome; Kiefer Sutherland, 24; Sam Waterston, Law & Order; Barry Watson, What About Brian Best Actress - Drama Series: Patricia Arquette, Medium - "Be Kind, Rewind" Kristen Bell, Veronica Mars - "Spit & Eggs" Connie Britton, Friday Night Lights - "I Think We Should Have Sex" Minnie Driver, The Riches - "Been There, Done That" Edie Falco, The Sopranos - "The Second Coming" Katee Sackhoff, Battlestar Galactica - "Maelstrom" HONORABLE MENTION: Rachel Bilson, The O.C.; Sally Field, Brothers and Sisters; Calista Flockhart, Brothers and Sisters; Mariska Hargitay, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit; Evangeline Lilly, Lost; Sarah Paulson, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip; Ellen Pompeo, Grey’s Anatomy; Joely Richardson, Nip/Tuck; Maura Tierney, ER Best Supporting Actor - Drama Series: Zach Gilford, Friday Night Lights - "Eyes Wide Open" Aiden Gillen, The Wire - "Margin of Error" Walton Goggins, The Shield - "Haunts" Robert Iler, The Sopranos - "The Second Coming" Andre Royo, The Wire - "That's Got His Own" Jim True-Frost, The Wire - "Alliances" HONORABLE MENTION: James Callis, Battlestar Galactica; Justin Chambers, Grey’s Anatomy; Gaius Charles, Friday Night Lights; Christian Clemenson, Boston Legal; Jack Coleman, Heroes; Brian Cox, Deadwood; Michael Emerson, Lost; Omar Epps, House; Josh Holloway, Lost; Michael Imperioli, The Sopranos; Taylor Kitsch, Friday Night Lights; T.R. Knight, Grey’s Anatomy; Julito McCullum, The Wire; Gerald McRaney, Deadwood; Terry O’Quinn, Lost; Masi Oka, Heroes; Scott Porter, Friday Night Lights; Zachary Quinto, Heroes; Matthew Rhys, Brothers and Sisters; Jake Weber, Medium Best Supporting Actress - Drama Series: Katherine Heigl, Grey's Anatomy - "Time After Time" Mary McDonnell, Battlestar Galactica - "Crossroads, Parts 1 & 2" Elizabeth Mitchell, Lost - "One of Us" CCH Pounder, The Shield - "Baptism by Fire" Sonja Sohn, The Wire - "Know Your Place" Aida Turturro, The Sopranos - "Soprano Home Movies" HONORABLE MENTION: Rosanna Arquette, What About Brian; Candice Bergen, Boston Legal; Lorraine Bracco, The Sopranos; Linda Cardellini, ER; Alana de la Garza, Law & Order; Lindsay Duncan, Rome; Lisa Edelstein, House; Rachel Griffiths, Brothers and Sisters; Tricia Helfer, Battlestar Galactica; Yunjin Kim, Lost; Paula Malcolmson, Deadwood; Sandra Oh, Grey’s Anatomy; Adrianne Palicki, Friday Night Lights; Mary Lynn Rajskub, 24; Sofia Vassilieva, Medium; Polly Walker, Rome; Chandra Wilson, Grey’s Anatomy Best Writing - Drama Series: Battlestar Galactica - "Occupation"/"Precipice" - Ronald D. Moore Friday Night Lights - "Blinders" - Bridget Carpenter & Carter Harris Friday Night Lights - "Eyes Wide Open" - Jason Katims The Sopranos - "The Second Coming" - Terence Winter The Sopranos - "Soprano Home Movies" - David Chase, Diane Frolov, Andrew Schneider & Matthew Weiner The Wire - "Final Grades" - Ed Burns & David Simon HONORABLE MENTION: Battlestar Galactica - “A Day in the Life”; Battlestar Galactica - “Maelstrom”; Boston Legal - “Angel of Death”; Deadwood - “Tell Your God to Ready for Blood”; Dexter - “Pilot”; Friday Night Lights - “Mud Bowl”; Friday Night Lights - “Upping the Ante”; Grey’s Anatomy - “Time Has Come Today”; Heroes - “Company Man”; House - “Meaning”; Law & Order - “Fear America”; Lost - “The Man Behind the Curtain”; Lost - “Through the Looking Glass”; Medium - “Be Kind, Rewind”; Rome - “De Patre Vostro”; The Shield - “Baptism by Fire”; The Shield - “Chasing Ghosts”; The Shield - “Haunts”; The Sopranos - “The Blue Comet”; The Sopranos - “Kennedy and Heidi”; Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip - “Pilot”; Veronica Mars - “The Bitch Is Back”; What About Brain - “What About the Lake House”; The Wire - “Corner Boys”; The Wire - “Misgivings”; The Wire - “That’s Got His Own” Best Directing - Drama Series: Battlestar Galactica - "Exodus, Part 2" - Felix Enriquez Alcala Friday Night Lights - "Mud Bowl" - David Boyd Lost - "Through the Looking Glass, Parts 1 & 2" - Jack Bender The Sopranos - "Kennedy and Heidi" - Alan Taylor The Sopranos - "The Second Coming" - Tim Van Patten The Wire - "That's Got His Own" - Joe Chapelle HONORABLE MENTION: Battlestar Galactica - “Crossroads”; Battlestar Galactica - “Maelstrom”; Battlestar Galactica - “Occupation/Precipice”; Boston Legal - “Angel of Death”; Deadwood - “Amateur Night”; Dexter - “Born Free”; Dexter - “Pilot”; Friday Night Lights - “Eyes Wide Open”; Friday Night Lights - “Pilot”; Friday Night Lights - “State”; Grey’s Anatomy - “Time After Time”; Heroes - “Company Man”; House - “Words and Deeds”; Lost - “Greatest Hits”; Medium - “Be Kind, Rewind”; Rome - “De Patre Vostro”; Rome - “Passover”; The Shield - “Chasing Ghosts”; The Shield - “Haunts”; The Sopranos - “The Blue Comet”; The Sopranos - “Soprano Home Movies”; Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip - “Pilot”; Veronica Mars - “Spit & Eggs”; The Wire - “Corner Boys”; The Wire - “Final Grades”; The Wire - “Refugees”; The Wire - “Unto Others” Best Guest Actor - Drama Series: Charles Durning, Rescue Me - "Devil" Gregory Itzin, 24 - "Day 6: 6:00 P.M. - 7:00 P.M." John Mahoney, ER - "Somebody to Love" Kurtwood Smith, Medium - "Profiles in Terror" Pruitt Taylor Vince, House - "Que Sera Sera" Forest Whitaker, The Shield - "Baptism by Fire" HONORABLE MENTION: Ed Begley Jr., Veronica Mars; Chad Brannon, Friday Night Lights; Tim Daly, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit; Peter Dinklage, Nip/Tuck; George Dzundza, Grey’s Anatomy; Christopher Eccleston, Heroes; Judd Hirsch, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip; Arliss Howard, Medium; Eriq La Salle, Without a Trace; John Larroquette, House; Tzi Ma, 24; Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Grey’s Anatomy; David Morse, House; Ebon Moss-Bachrach, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit; Mark Sheppard, Battlestar Galactica; Stanley Tucci, ER Best Guest Actress - Drama Series: Kathy Baker, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit - "Sin" Kate Burton, Grey's Anatomy - "Wishin' and Hopin'" Sally Field, ER - "Graduation Day" Christine Lahti, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip - "The Long Lead Story" Lyndsey Marshal, Rome - "De Patre Vostro" Jean Smart, 24 "Day 6: 6:00 P.M. - 7:00 P.M." HONORABLE MENTION: Rachel Boston, Grey’s Anatomy; Neve Campbell, Medium; Leslie Caron, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit; Diahann Carroll, Grey’s Anatomy; Meagan Good, House; Lisa Gay Hamilton, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit; Lucinda Jenney, Battlestar Galactica; Margo Martindale, Dexter; Debra Monk, Grey’s Anatomy; Megan Mullally, Boston Legal; Rosie O’Donnell, Nip/Tuck; Parker Posey, Boston Legal; Franka Potente, The Shield; Charlotte Ross, Law & Order; Susan Sarandon, Rescue Me; Marisa Tomei, Rescue Me Best Ensemble - Drama Series: Battlestar Galactica Deadwood Friday Night Lights Grey's Anatomy Lost The Wire HONORABLE MENTION: Boston Legal, Brothers and Sisters, Dexter, ER, Heroes, House, Law & Order, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, Medium, Rescue Me, Rome, The Shield, The Sopranos, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, 24 Best New Drama Series: Brothers and Sisters Dexter Friday Night Lights Heroes The Riches Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip HONORABLE MENTION: Dirt, The Nine, Runaway, Shark, Six Degrees, Vanished Best Comedy Series: How I Met Your Mother It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia The Office 30 Rock Ugly Betty HONORABLE MENTION: Entourage, Extras, Gilmore Girls, The Knights of Prosperity, The New Adventures of Old Christine, The Sarah Silverman Program, Scrubs, Weeds Best Actor - Comedy Series: Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock - "Black Tie" Zach Braff, Scrubs - "My Musical" Steve Carell, The Office - "Business School" Ricky Gervais, Extras - "Orlando Bloom" Josh Radnor, How I Met Your Mother - "Brunch" Tony Shalhoub, Monk - "Mr. Monk Can't See a Thing" HONORABLE MENTION: Kevin Connolly, Entourage; Ted Danson, Help Me Help You; Kevin James, The King of Queens; Jason Lee, My Name Is Earl; Donal Logue, The Knights of Prosperity; Andy Richter, Andy Barker P.I. Best Actress - Comedy Series: America Ferrera, Ugly Betty - "Pilot" Tina Fey, 30 Rock - "Hiatus" Lauren Graham, Gilmore Girls - "Bon Voyage" Julia Louis-Dreyfus, The New Adventures of Old Christine - "Oh God, Yes" Mary-Louise Parker, Weeds - "Pittsburg" Sarah Silverman, The Sarah Silverman Program - "Not Without My Daughter" HONORABLE MENTION: Tichina Arnold, Everybody Hates Chris; Alexis Bledel, Gilmore Girls; Marcia Cross, Desperate Housewives; Teri Hatcher, Desperate Housewives; Felicity Huffman, Desperate Housewives; Eva Longoria, Desperate Housewives; Leah Remini, The King of Queens Best Supporting Actor - Comedy Series: Charlie Day, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia - "Charlie Gets Crippled" Kevin Dillon, Entourage - "The Resurrection" Glenn Howerton, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia - "Dennis and Dee Go on Welfare" John Krasinski, The Office - "The Job, Parts 1 & 2" Jeremy Piven, Entourage - "Sorry, Ari" Jason Segel, How I Met Your Mother - "Arrivederci, Fiero" HONORABLE MENTION: Creed Bratton, The Office; Terry Crews, Everybody Hates Chris; Donald Faison, Scrubs; Neil Patrick Harris, How I Met Your Mother; Justin Kirk, Weeds; Hamish Linklater, The New Adventures of Old Christine; Jack McBrayer, 30 Rock; Rob McElhenney, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia; John C. McKinley, Scrubs; Tracy Morgan, 30 Rock; Kevin Michael Richardson, The Knights of Prosperity; Michael Urie, Ugly Betty; Rainn Wilson, The Office Best Supporting Actress - Comedy Series: Jenna Fischer, The Office - "The Job, Parts 1 & 2" Melora Hardin, The Office - "Back From Vacation" Kaitlin Olson, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia - "Hundred Dollar Baby" Jaime Pressly, My Name Is Earl - "Very Bad Things" Cobie Smulders, How I Met Your Mother - "Slap Bet" Vanessa Williams, Ugly Betty - "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" HONORABLE MENTION: Kelly Bishop, Gilmore Girls; Sarah Chalke, Scrubs; Alyson Hannigan, How I Met Your Mother; Ashley Jensen, Extras; Rashida Jones, The Office; Kathryn Joosten, Desperate Housewives; Jane Krakowski, 30 Rock; Becki Newton, Ugly Betty; Elizabeth Perkins, Weeds; Judy Reyes, Scrubs; Phyllis Smith, The Office Best Writing - Comedy Series: Gilmore Girls - "Bon Voyage" - David S. Rosenthal How I Met Your Mother - "Slap Bet" - Kourtney Kang It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia - "Dennis and Dee Go on Welfare" - Charlie Day, Glenn Howerton & Rob McElhenney The New Adventures of Old Christine - "Oh God, Yes" - Jennifer Crittenden The Office - "Business School" - Brent Forrester The Office - "The Job, Parts 1 & 2" - Paul Lieberstein & Michael Schur HONORABLE MENTION: Desperate Housewives - “Bang”; Entourage - “One Day in the Valley”; Extras - “Orlando Bloom”; How I Met Your Mother - “Arrivederci, Fiero”; How I Met Your Mother - “First Time in New York”; How I Met Your Mother - “Monday Night Football”; It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia - “Dennis and Dee Get a New Dad”; The Knights of Prosperity - “Operation: Deliver the Case”; Monk - “Mr. Monk Can’t See a Thing”; My Name Is Earl - “G.E.D.”; The New Adventures of Old Christine - “Sleepless in Mar Vista”; The Office - “The Convict”; The Office - “The Negotiation”; The Office - “Traveling Salesmen”; The Sarah Silverman Program - “Not Without My Daughter”; Scrubs - “My Musical”; Scrubs - “My Therapeutic Month”; 30 Rock - “Up All Night”; Ugly Betty - “In or Out”; Weeds - “Pittsburgh” Best Directing - Comedy Series: Desperate Housewives - "Bang" - Larry Shaw Entourage - "One Day in the Valley" - Julian Farino The Office - "The Job, Parts 1 & 2" - Ken Kwapis The Office - "Traveling Salesmen" - Greg Daniels Scrubs - "My Musical" - Will Mackenzie Weeds - "Pittsburgh" - Craig Zisk HONORABLE MENTION: Entourage - “The Resurrection”; Extras - “Orlando Bloom”; Gilmore Girls - “Bon Voyage”; How I Met Your Mother - “Arrivederci, Fiero”; How I Met Your Mother - “Slap Bet”; It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia - “Charlie Gets Crippled”; It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia - “Dennis and Dee Go on Welfare”; The Knights of Prosperity - “Operation: Panic Room”; Monk - “Mr. Monk Can’t See a Thing”; My Name Is Earl - “Blow”; The New Adventures of Old Christine - “Oh God, Yes”; The Office - “Business School”; The Office - “The Convict”; The Office - “The Merger”; The Sarah Silverman Program - “Not Without My Daughter”; Scrubs - “My Best Friend’s Baby’s Baby and My Baby’s Baby”; Scrubs - “My Road to Nowhere”; 30 Rock - “Black Tie”; 30 Rock - “Up All Night”; Ugly Betty - “In or Out” Best Guest Actor - Comedy Series: Beau Bridges, My Name Is Earl - “Guess Who’s Coming Out of Joy” Adam Goldberg, Entourage - "Return of the King" Martin Landau, Entourage - "What About Bob?" Ian McKellen, Extras - "Sir Ian McKellen" Paul Reubens, 30 Rock - "Black Tie" Jason Sudeikis, 30 Rock - "Cleveland" HONORABLE MENTION: Will Arnett, 30 Rock; Ed Asner, Andy Barker P.I.; Orlando Bloom, Extras; Bobby Cannavale, The Knights of Prosperity; Dan Hedaya, Monk; Mick Jagger, The Knights of Prosperity; Nathan Lane, 30 Rock; Daniel Radcliffe, Extras; Stanley Tucci, Monk; Michael Weston, Scrubs; Dean Winters, 30 Rock; James Woods, Entourage Best Guest Actress - Comedy Series: Stephanie D'Abruzzo, Scrubs - "My Musical" Carla Gugino, Entourage - "Manic Monday" Judith Light, Ugly Betty - "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" Laurie Metcalf, Desperate Housewives - "Bang" Emily Mortimer, 30 Rock - "Corporate Crush" Isabella Rossellini, 30 Rock - "Black Tie" HONORABLE MENTION: Elizabeth Banks, Scrubs; Dixie Carter, Desperate Housewives; Zooey Deschanel, Weeds; Loretta Devine, Everybody Hates Chris; Salma Hayek, Ugly Betty; Tamala Jones, My Name Is Earl; Patti LuPone, Ugly Betty; Laura Marano, The Sarah Silverman Program; Stephanie March, 30 Rock; Roseanne, My Name Is Earl; Keri Russell, Scrubs; Amy Sedaris, My Name Is Earl; Elaine Stritch, 30 Rock; Kiersten Warren, Desperate Housewives Best Ensemble - Comedy Series: How I Met Your Mother The Office Scrubs 30 Rock Ugly Betty Weeds HONORABLE MENTION: The Class, Entourage, Everybody Hates Chris, Gilmore Girls, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, The Knights of Prosperity, My Name Is Earl, The New Adventures of Old Christine Best New Comedy Series: Andy Barker, P.I. The Knights of Prosperity The Sarah Silverman Program 30 Rock Ugly Betty HONORABLE MENTION: The Class, Help Me Help You TV Movie/Miniseries: Jane Eyre Longford Prime Suspect 7: The Final Act Tsunami: The Aftermath Why I Wore Lipstick to My Mastectomy HONORABLE MENTION: Angel Rodriguez, Broken Trail, Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee Best Actor - TV Movie/Miniseries: Jim Broadbent, Longford Robert Duvall, Broken Trail Chiwetel Ejiofor, Tsunami: The Aftermath Matthew Perry, The Ron Clark Story Toby Stephens, Jane Eyre HONORABLE MENTION: Adam Beach, Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee; Jonan Everett, Angel Rodriguez; William Hurt, Nightmares & Dreamscapes; William H. Macy, Nightmares & Dreamscapes; Tim Roth, Tsunami: The Aftermath Best Actress - TV Movie/Miniseries: Sarah Chalke, Why I Wore Lipstick to My Mastectomy Helen Mirren, Prime Suspect 7: The Final Act Samantha Morton, Longford Sophie Okonedo, Tsunami: The Aftermath Ruth Wilson, Jane Eyre HONORABLE MENTION: Debra Messing, The Starter Wife; Queen Latifah, Life Support; Gena Rowlands, What If God Were the Sun? Best Supporting Actor - TV Movie/Miniseries: Hugh Bonneville, Tsunami: The Aftermath Andrew Buchan, Jane Eyre Thomas Haden Church, Broken Trail Frank Finlay, Prime Suspect 7: The Final Act August Schellenberg, Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee HONORABLE MENTION: Jay Harrington, Why I Wore Lipstick to My Mastectomy; Gary Lewis, Prime Suspect 7: The Final Act; Wendell Pierce, Life Support; Aidan Quinn, Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee; Andy Serkis, Longford Best Supporting Actress - TV Movie/Miniseries: Toni Collette, Tsunami: The Aftermath Judy Davis, The Starter Wife Lindsay Duncan, Longford Laura Greenwood, Prime Suspect 7: The Final Act Anna Deavere Smith, Life Support HONORABLE MENTION: Tara Fitzgerald, Jane Eyre; Rachel Griffiths, Angel Rodriguez; Gina McKee, Tsunami: The Aftermath; Anna Paquin, Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee; Anika Noni Rose, The Starter Wife; Gwendoline Yeo, Broken Trail Best Variety Series: The Colbert Report The Daily Show with Jon Stewart Late Night with Conan O'Brien Late Show with David Letterman Saturday Night Live The View HONORABLE MENTION: Real Time with Bill Maher Best Variety Special: Comedy Central Roast of William Shatner The Light in the Piazza (Live From Lincoln Center) The 60th Annual Tony Awards Tony Bennett: An American Classic Wanda Sykes: Sick & Tired HONORABLE MENTION: The 79th Annual Academy Awards, AFI’s 100 Years…100 Cheers, Comic Relief 2006, Dane Cook: Vicious Circle, The 49th Annual Grammy Awards, Lewis Black: Red White and Screwed, The 2006 MTV Video Music Awards, Super Bowl XLI Halftime Show Best Male Performer - Variety Series/Special: Tony Bennett, Tony Bennett: An American Classic Stephen Colbert, The Colbert Report Andy Samberg, Saturday Night Live Jon Stewart, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart Justin Timberlake, Saturday Night Live HONORABLE MENTION: Fred Armisen, Saturday Night Live; Alec Baldwin, Saturday Night Live; Lewis Black, Lewis Black: Red White and Screwed; Jake Gyllenhaal, Saturday Night Live; Aaron Lazar, The Light in the Piazza (Live From Lincoln Center); David Letterman, Late Show with David Letterman; Prince, Super Bowl XLI Halftime Show; Jason Sudeikis, Saturday Night Live Best Female Performer - Variety Series/Special: Victoria Clark, The Light in the Piazza (Live From Lincoln Center) Rosie O'Donnell, The View Amy Poehler, Saturday Night Live Maya Rudolph, Saturday Night Live Kristen Wiig, Saturday Night Live HONORABLE MENTION: Drew Barrymore, Saturday Night Live; Joy Behar, The View; Beyonce, The 2006 MTV Video Music Awards; Katie Rose Clarke, The Light in the Piazza (Live From Lincoln Center); Ellen DeGeneres, The 79th Annual Academy Awards; Molly Shannon, Saturday Night Live; Wanda Sykes, Wanda Sykes: Sick & Tired Best Animated Series: Family Guy The Simpsons South Park HONORABLE MENTION: King of the Hill Best Voice-Over Performer - Animated Series: Alex Borstein, Family Guy - "Prick Up Your Ears" Nancy Cartwright, The Simpsons - "The Haw-Hawed Couple" Dan Castellaneta, The Simpsons - "Springfield Up" Seth MacFarlane, Family Guy - "Road to Rupert" Kathy Najimy, King of the Hill - "The Peggy Horror Picture Show" Trey Parker, South Park - "Go God Go XII" HONORABLE MENTION: Hank Azaria, The Simpsons; Seth Green, Family Guy; Mike Judge, King of the Hill; Tom Petty, King of the Hill; Harry Shearer, The Simpsons; Yeardley Smith, The Simpsons; Matt Stone, South Park Best Reality Series - Competition: The Amazing Race America's Next Top Model Big Brother Project Runway So You Think You Can Dance Top Chef HONORABLE MENTION: American Idol, Beauty and the Geek, Hell’s Kitchen, Real World/Road Rules Challenge: The Duel, Real World/Road Rules Challenge: Fresh Meat, Real World/Road Rules Challenge: The Inferno III, Survivor, World Series of Pop Culture Best Reality Series - Non-Competition: The Hills Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List Tabloid Wars 30 Days Wife Swap Work Out HONORABLE MENTION: The Real World, The Simple Life, Supernanny, Two-a-Days Breakthrough Male Performance: Gaius Charles, Friday Night Lights Zach Gilford, Friday Night Lights Taylor Kitsch, Friday Night Lights Julito McCullum, The Wire Scott Porter, Friday Night Lights Tristan Wilds, The Wire HONORABLE MENTION: Jermaine Crawford, The Wire; Jonan Everett, Angel Rodriguez; Jesse Tyler Ferguson, The Class; Mark Indelicato, Ugly Betty; Jack McBrayer, 30 Rock; Alex O’Loughlin, The Shield; Jesse Plemons, Friday Night Lights; Michael Urie, Ugly Betty Breakthrough Female Performance: Dana Davis, The Nine Becki Newton, Ugly Betty Adrianne Palicki, Friday Night Lights Aimee Teegarden, Friday Night Lights Ruth Wilson, Jane Eyre Shannon Woodward, The Riches HONORABLE MENTION: Sophina Brown, Shark; Kerris Lilla Dorsey, Brothers and Sisters; Julie Gonzalo, Veronica Mars; Minka Kelly, Friday Night Lights; Eden Sher, Weeds

[aion-rsa]

Mulan Review: Loyal, Brave, and True Enough

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In Disney’s 1998 animated film Mulan, the titular heroine’s mantra is that she will “bring honor to us all,” even if she must do so by unconventional means. The line is so tied to that movie that no doubt you now have the matchmaker’s musical number stuck in your head. And when the trailer for the live-action remake was first revealed, star Liu Yifei’s intonation of those same words were audiences’ first indication that the new movie would honor the spirit of its predecessor. However, the 2020 film expands that mantra into three specific virtues: loyal, brave, and true, which guide Hua Mulan (Liu) from the family in which she is a misfit, to the Imperial Army in her father’s armor, to a showdown with the encroaching Rouran threat.

It’s also a handy metaphor for how Disney approached remaking both the beloved (if imperfect and Westernized) animated film, as well as the Chinese legend itself: by building out the more simplistic themes from the 1998 adaptation into a multifaceted dilemma for today’s Mulan regarding her place in the world. After all, while our protagonist is clearly brave and loyal, her subterfuge bars her from being true—lending a surprising yet welcome solemnity to the live-action film, while still capturing some of the whimsy for nostalgic audiences. It’s a difficult edge to walk, updating the story while satisfying those who still belt out “I’ll Make a Man Out of You” at nerd karaoke. Mulan doesn’t entirely succeed, but the fact that, like its heroine, it tries is invaluable.

The “Chinese-assisting production” has already stumbled, Disney falling prey to its own Western biases again in placing Mulan in both the wrong region and time period. With that in mind, the bones of the story are much the same: As the Rourans (replacing the Huns) threaten to invade China, the Emperor (Jet Li) calls upon every family to produce one man to join the fight. Blessed as he is with two daughters, disabled veteran Hua Zhou (Tzi Ma) is ready to take up his sword again, knowing he will not return. Instead, Mulan steals his sword and armor in the night and goes in his place. Her father, fearing for his daughter’s life more than the family’s honor, sends their ancestral phoenix after her for protection (replacing Eddie Murphy’s wisecracking dragon Mushu).

Disney made it clear from the first announcement that this Mulan would not be a musical, which automatically takes away a lot of the levity. Without those breezy numbers to break up the narrative, this is a rather grim tale of the looming threat of war as well as the more immediate danger of what will happen to Mulan if she is found out. An interesting dimension that the remake adds is the notion of qi: a special power that Mulan learns at a young age to hide, even moreso than her tomboy tendencies. It makes Mulan doubly unconventional, while setting up fascinating parallels with her true enemy: Gong Li’s warrior witch Xiannang, rather than the all-bark-and-no-bite Rouran leader Böri Khan (Jason Scott Lee).

But before that inevitable confrontation, they have to make a man out of her.

The absence of the musical numbers is felt more keenly in some places than others. This version maintains some of the irreverence of the training camp, the dark suspense of the Rourans’ approach, the somber strings of Mulan pondering how to be the perfect daughter and the soaring strains when she figures out how. But there is not the same musical framework, so that these moments feel like they occur in a vacuum. This is especially the case for the reiterations of “Reflection,” animated Mulan’s “I want” song (which live-action Mulan never sings) yet so recognizable that the audience has a Pavlovian response whenever it scores Mulan’s especially daring moves.

Loyal, brave, and true are the characters etched onto Hua Zhou’s blade, and the standard to which Mulan holds herself while at the Imperial Army’s training camp. Knowing that she can never be true and making her uneasy peace with that dishonesty—even as Commander Tung (Donnie Yen) reminds the trainees that the penalty for deceit is expulsion—she pushes herself to wholly embody the other two. This focus sacrifices some of the Mulan-failing-as-a-man slapstick of the animated film in favor of a nobler arc; unfortunately, all the focus on her being loyal and brave makes it less important for her to be true. At one point, the movie seems to shrug and basically quote Meat Loaf: Two out of three ain’t bad.

This partly manifests in the decision to split the character of Commander Li Shang into two personas: father figure Commander Tung, who encourages Mulan’s use of qi; and love interest Honghui (Yoson An), a fellow recruit who seems ready to follow her into battle from their first meeting. Splitting Mulan’s attention between two men she wants to impress for very different reasons ultimately undercuts the stakes of her disguise, because even when one doubts her sincerity, the other will still see the truth.

The most exciting addition to the story is Xianniang, who coolly shapeshifts from falcon to Imperial Army soldier to herself, wielding fearsomely sharp talon-nails and mastery of the forbidden qi. She is a clear foil to Mulan, down to how she embraces her magic where the other woman has always hidden hers; there is literally a “we are not so different, you and I” scene between them. Xianniang brings the much-needed fury that Mulan has always lacked, the ire of a woman trapped within what men determine is her proper place—mustering her own power within those limitations, but still constrained.

It will likely come as no surprise that the strongest scenes between the two women, which allow the live-action film to suddenly pass the Bechdel test with flying colors, occur during their early showdowns. By the time Mulan is racing toward the destiny we already know she will fulfill, Xian Lang’s story unfortunately reverts to familiar, ultimately undermining, tropes.

Alternatively, Mulan also has a sister in this version: Xiu (Xana Tang), whose sole purpose seems to be to represent the “perfect daughter” that her parents want, but also the physical manifestation of who Mulan is fighting for. Except Xiu is hardly in the film except in the start and end, and she and Mulan talk of little other than matchmaking and (charmingly) spiders. Ultimately, keeping Mulan an only child was the better bet.

That advice applies to the film overall: In adding in so many extra characters while still following the general throughline established by the animated version, this remake hinders itself with the need to leap from plot beat to plot beat. Often that makes for a faster-than-ideal narrative in which we see Mulan overcome sexism (except that we got too few first-act examples of such) and gain the respect of her fellow soldiers and her emperor (only, she doesn’t seem to have done much more than be a woman with a sword who refuses to back down).

And yet, those are the moments that best distill the live-action Mulan to its essence. The dazzlingly choreographed fight scenes are a marked improvement over the animated film’s stylized sequences in that they better highlight Mulan’s cleverness and resourcefulness. Her fighting may be amplified by qi, but she would not succeed as often as she does if she were not constantly observing surfaces upon which to jump, or objects to turn into weapons—finding new uses for everything within her reach.

The live-action Mulan easily stands on its own, and earns its way into the Disney canon less through inventive musical numbers and more through a very 2020-appropriate interrogation of how women can break out of their traditional roles. Yet it’s still not as subversive as it could be, and still represents a Western movie studio’s blind spots about Chinese culture. Hopefully improving both of these aspects will be the destiny of the inevitable 2040 remake, but for now, this new retelling without a doubt presents a worthy role model for young girls and boys.

Mulan premieres on Disney+ on September 4.

The post Mulan Review: Loyal, Brave, and True Enough appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[disneysnuff]

Do not read if you do not want it spoiled roof skye swim bye

                             UGLEE

A Jarryd Robertson film

McBain 83rd co.

0474 810 323

The overture: classical music plays 1 minute

Appears-

    “This film is an apology for calling Angela a jew in year 7 and for referring to my mother as a kyke.. Also I looked at Pauls nose weird twice. - For the dead.” YELLOW FONT

the ocean FLOWS in, a red— filtered shade is composed over the water.

Scene 1- int/ext- Day- ‘The Six Nose’

An anti-jewish propaganda circa 1939

Narrator: (in german)The Jew is a plague. These physiognomies immediately refute the liberal theories about the equality of all who bear a human countenance.

four jewish man stand in a room smiling bearded dressed in robe and yamachas.

Narrator: (in german) the beard. the skullcap.  and the robes make the jew easily recognisable to any person. should he remove them we risk polluting the purity of our species being that only the sharp-eyed can spot their racial origins. the jew alters their outward appearance, and leave there polish haunts for the rich world. when a jew is around the non-jewish you see him hide, you see him remove the beard and skull cap prepared to infiltrate and destroy western civilization. The jew in kaftan.. Now.. the concealed jew in western european clothes.

the four jewish men stand without beard, skull cap and robes dressed in suits. smiling.

Narrator:  as you can see the jew may be able to conceal there heritage an infest our country. An essential trait to spot the Jew is the 6 nose.

a special circular ruler is placed against a Jews nose

Narrator: The shape of the nose is an involuntary revelation of the racial origins of the Jew. The phony dogma that tricked a healthy instinct of a nation. A plague that threatens the health of the aryan people. Richard Wagner, once said: “the jew is the demon behind the corruption of mankind” and these pictures prove it

The jews are shown smiling in the street. talking. some smoking. attending a synagogue.arguing

Narrator: instead jewish morality is in crass contradiction of the aryan concept of ethics, proclaims an unrestrained egoism of every Jew to be divine law. His religion makes cheating and usury a duty. In the fifth book of moses it is stated that “the lord may bless all thy dealings” for the jews doing business is something holy. there youth see only money and do not share the idealism of our german youth.

ADOLF HITLER drives through a parade

our fuhrer once wrote:

“The personification of the devil as the symbol of all evil assumes the living shape of the Jew”

Jews are shown in the street haggling and trading. and a Jew is shown sideways in a near silouette that fades into a silloutte

Narrator- Remember The six nose!

the nose is zoom in upon and an accent charms

-note: roman iconography and nazi flags is spliced throughout along with jewish paraphenallia.-

Scene 2- ext/int day- pond- Gold residence- the family man

A quiet rocky village in the country.

A pond occupied by ducks swimming harmoniously. The sun is going down and the world is laced with golden sunlight.

Bread is thrown into the water by families and kids. People are playing. The Jewish are living. the pond i and stills by a village that is occupied by only The jewish. a family is throwing bread into the water.

Jacobny: broyt (bread) broyt!

the ducks comp up the bread quacking about.

two kids begin skipping rocks. the rocks skip across the water in two pads/plops.

KEBETT: (in yiddish) Do you think you could hit a duck? hahaha

CORDEN: i could sell and feed rocks to this duck!

Corden nods firmly. he throws the rock and hits a duck. the ducks stammer and goes into panic fleeing about flapping the wings squawking about.

Kebett and Corden laugh and keep throwing rocks

Kebett: the ducks fly off north from here. hahaha

they skip more rocks and hit the ducks again causing them to fly off but no more ducks are hit.

kebetts mother lucille wanders towards the pond

Lucille: kebbett!! its dinner time come home

Corden: id do fu-fuck your mother because she cooks so well. Kebbet: “Abi gezunt dos leben ken men zikh ale mol nemen.” stay healthy because you can kill yourself later.

corden: tomorrow youll awake to her squeling “corden fuck me!!”

Kebbet: what did you say to me?

kebbet raises his hand to his chin and flicks his hand off of it with a click of his fingers

Gey strashe di gens (go threaten the geese)

the two boys leave the pond to go home.

you see corden arrive at his house. the house is made of round rocks as is most of the village. corden goes into his house and sneaks past his father who is tossing salad with wooden utensils. The Father HUMBA mixes up the salad. Humba is a good father and doctor. and now lives with his wife and four children.

Humba Gold: Sofia! giyani! Corden!

Humba pops a cork of a glass bottle of purple drink/juice. the four children come from their rooms as Humba pours them all a glass at the setted up dining room table. the children enter and sit at the table quiet. Corden is wearing a red peter pan like hat instead of his yamacah. Humba serves the dinner. the girls enter laughing. Humba silences them.

Humba: Sofia! have extra today. you’ll need to eat, you look very skinny!

Sofia: im trying to papa

Humba: did you catch the butterfly yet my butterfly?

Sofia: no they do not stand still for me

Humba:Because you are not a nice little girl i think

humba grins

sofia: i pray and worship every day  yes i am a nice girl. can you help me to catch it papa

Humba: perhaps tomorrow.. but.. you need only to look in the mirror my butterfly

humba reaches out to her and touches her nose.

Humba:hold hands everyone

they hold hands

Humba:BA-RUCH A-TAH A-DO-NOI

ELO-HAI-NU ME-LECH HA-O-LAM

HA-MO-TZI LE-CHEM MIN HA-A-RETZ. (blessed are you, Lord our God, king of the universe, who brings forth bread from the earth. )

Humba: we may now eat

the family eat away for a minute or so untill it becomes apparent that Corden is chewing with his mouth open

Corden: Chomp! Chomp!

humba becomes irritated. and bangs he table loudly. BANG.

Humba: Do not eat like an animal Corden!! if you want to eat like a goat! you can piss and shit like a goat, sleep like a goat FUCK LIKE A GOAT!!

Corden: Goat?..!!!

Humba: take that stupid hat off now

corden: Goat???

Humba slaps the hat off his head

Humba: mouth closed

the daughters sit silently eating quietly

Humba: BEHEYME (fool)

Corden: you work me like the goat

Humba: different… You a person!! what would your mother think? oh this boy is no person he pees with his feet!! what is this on your head?

Corden: hat.

Humba: TAKE THAT STUPID HAT OFF NOW

Corden stares at his father now hatless. they continue staring at eachother Corden grabs a handful of the salad with his hands and stuffs it in his mouth

Humbert:BOY!!!

Corden takes off his hat picks up his weapons/cutlery and begins using them.

-END SCENE-

Scene 3- ext/int-day- village street. The arrival of evil

the rocky made village is filled with jews all inside there homes. three SS gestapo vehicles drives upon the outskirts of the village slowly but surely approaching. birds eye. approaching from a few miles from the village two of the vehicles are jeep-like and the third, the car at the front, is a german vehicle of luxury. three gestapo are having a conversation in one of the military style jeeps.

VIKOR: whats the best type of jewish?

SOLO: mhm, a poor jueden.

They laugh.

solo: have good one da

vikor: how many jews does it take to ruin a nation?

solo: ein (one).

solo ashes a ciggarette.

vikor: again with.. whats the best type of jewish?

a nazi untilts his hat and begins speaking.

LUKIN: that is very simple.. one that is not of breath

solo: i prefer a jew that looks like he needs a jacket in winter. and is as still, as an oil painting.

all together: hahaha mudhahaha

lukin: soon they all be

lukin ashes the ciggarette.

nazi flags of the car float in the wind.

the cars are driving along a windy road.

-the second car to the front.-

a german named FANG shines his luger singing

a second named KLAUS is driving whilst behind the wheel, and another nazi gordon sits setting up his photo camera

FANG:

A, B, C, the cat ran in the snow,

And as she went out of it,

She had on white booties,

O jiminy, O jiminy, O jiminy, O gee!

GORDON: stop singing i cant deal with it

fang: (LOUDER)

oh !!A, B, C, the cat ran up high,

She licked her cold paw clean

And also cleaned her booties,

And went no more into the snowwww.

                          fang. whats wrong ?

gordon: its a melancholic day.

fang: da? holes for all, our last automatic death!

fang plays with his luger shining it faster getting off on it and then aims

fang: chu chu splat splash chu

gordon: system. they have a system now.

fang: makes our job prettier

gordan: our last pop pop. goodbye jew.. heil furher.

they exchange looks

fang:it is the last time we see the naked, idiotic, weak drop.. you get to take more pictures . (in german) and i get to play play  

gordon holds his camera to his eye

fang: lets make it the most beautiful massacre ever, okay?

gordan: Käsekuchen” or (cheesecake)!!

gordon takes the picture

gordon: last day..

fang: LAST. day.

the lineup of the car are approaching

-the luxurious first car-

the hood ornament gleams in vivid dominance a swatstika

ss gestapo officer grim is singing and conducting in his car as german classical music plays (voices of spring by erna sack)

Grim: ooo i love this party

conducting madly behind the wheel as they are close to the village. for some time.

he sings along a little.

they arrive at the village.

all cars pull up slowly as gravel crunches

the music gets quieter. the nazis exit there car

the trunk of the car is opened.

the nazis gather together.

shovels rattle

grim:ready gentlemen?!!

they nod.

the nazis begin stir up the houses and banging there shovels on every door of the one road village.

a little boy comes to the door.

gordon takes a picture

gordon: Käsekuchen”

fang: hello little one

banging on doors is heard throughout the road.

an old lady HOREZ hobells to the door

Horez: well. yi yi ! get away?

fang: get out. where taking you on a permanent vacation

banging is heard throughout the road.

gordon:system.

fang corks his luger.

the world goes silent.

jews are marched out of there house one by one.

is about to begin.

GRIM: a symphony of death, is about to begin

as he waves his arms conducting

-narration-

goebells :. In the evening I had a look at the Polish-Yiddish motion picture, The Dybuk. This film is intended to be a Jewish propaganda picture. Its effect, however, is so anti-Semitic that one can only be surprised to note how little the Jews know about themselves and how little they realize what is repulsive to a non-Jewish person and what is not. Looking at this film I realized once again that the Jewish race is the most disgusting one that inhabits the globe, and that we must show them no mercy and no indulgence. This riffraff must be eliminated and destroyed. Otherwise it won't be possible to bring peace to the world.

whilst this narration takes place the jews are forced out of there homes some in a struggle others go willingly the faces of the children and women are in terror and dismay crying, screaming.

the gestapo arrive at Humbas. vikor and solo bang on the door. humba answers the door

humba: who are you?

solo corks an mp40

Grim: Dr gold my i am ss Gestapo Grim. welcome.. i have a surprise for you.. i hereby invite you to a really really big funeral.

the family come to the door.

humba:

corden: *hapuet*

soflet: papa

solo forces the family out.

grim begins waving his arms conducting again

corden refuses but is eventually dragged out to the street

HUMBERT: please dont hurt my family.

corden is thrown for uncompliance with the ss. his hat falls to the ground

grim: uh-uh uh. no. dont do that. you might wreck his face!!!!!

grim continues conducting

the family is worked out to the center of the street to join the rest of there neighbours they stand 23 strong.

grim stands at the center and front of the line in which a small field is behind. by his car smoking, still waving his arms

the village continues to scream. becoming a herd of jew. nazis with automatic guns stand on every side and corner

humba and his family hug, each jew is individually in fear. screaming crying. children the elderly.

a little boy named RAMIYA runs away from the herd.

grim shoots him in the back. he drops

the village screams and gets closer together.

grim: you run!!! you wont get any last words like this worthless kyke got!!!!!!

scene end.

title appears- Ramiya

aunty islez: can i?… this is the first time he hears it, i want it to be from me!

mum of ramiya: nooooo

Ramiyas father: oh if he wants to hear it let him hear it.

mum of ramiya: okay go

the aunty walks over to the crib

aunty of ramiya:(in jewish) i love you! I LOVE YOU!

ramiya: who rama

scene end. black still

the herd is walked further into a field surrounding the village

crying like as they say there goodbyes in frequent terror.

SCENE ENDS

fang: strip

KADER takes of his brown and navy clothes

untill his underpants

Lukin:all the vay jew, naked

he takes off his underwear exposing his penis

a shovel is handed out. the line up is 22 strong.

fang: walk. filth!

he taps him with the gun on the bum.

kader walks to the field and begins digging

a girl named” anne “ walks to the front of the line up. the nazi at the end exposes her breast.

anne quivers in fear

after pulling her shirt open he touches her breat with a gun. she takes the rest of her clothes off breathing heavy tears she is handed a shovel

solo: walk!

two male jews are stripped and given shovels one by one being told so, they are handed shovels.

grim: dig you swine

grim: dig

soflet starts crying in the lineup.

Humba: its going to be okay my butterfly just looking for buried treasure.

humba kisses her holding her hand they walk together

Humba: corden take your sister corden

corden is handed soflet.

soflet: cordy whats papa going to do?

corden:keep us together

humbert looks closely at sofia

=humba: sofia if the bad men takes papa do not be still=

humba forces himself through to the front of the line up  breaking formation

vikor: out of formation! i’ll kill you if you move another centimetre jueden!

the guns of the ss click and the father is still. humbert raises his hands

humba:you dont have to do this? -in yiddish-

grim keeps conducting

they stand in silence for one second there eyes balling eachother

grim keeps conducting

humbert : i want to know if you are going to let..

grim stops conducting

grimm: talk

humbert : i want to know if you are going to let any of us live

grim smiles exposing a gold tooth

goebels narration: this is grim our finest killing machine

grim smiles and a gold tooth outline shines

humba: why are you doing this?

grimm: whats the problem? you disagree with nature?

humba: nature? death?

(*perhaps*grim:feral air questionnaire?)

grim: the purity is mere fundamentals. the second most important aspect to nazi Germany. there will be no flowers at your grave.

humba:I beg you. do not do this?

grim: frankly your race is the rape of our country.

humbert doesnt understand.

humbert: water?

humba makes a drinking motion to his lips.

grim: soon we will drink.

humba: adank (thank you).

humba returns to his family.

grim returns to conducting.

rumba hugs his family tight all together

lukin solo stands at the back if the herd.

grim and fang at the front. grim is conducting once again

fang: clothes….. strip!! clothes!!

the ss stand at each corner. amput is at the front of the line

amput:get away from me

fang: strip or die now

amput: hmmmph (sexily)

she takes off her clothes then takes her white grandma forties panties down. fang hands her a shovel

fang: go dig

fang smiles psychotically exposing his teeth closely.

amput walks to the field and begins digging with the other girls help along with the other girl.

japil is now at the front of the line

fang: do you have any silver?

japil:no

fang: strip

he takes of his shirt and he has brass on his belt

fang touches the belt

fang: gold?

japil:no no onn ono

fang: brass?

japil: take. you have?

fang: almost.. pants

japil lowers his pant

fang hands him a shovel

japil: how deep?

fang: china, go

WOLFEE appears a cartoon wolf

a wolf is on a flying carpet dressed in ss uniform blowing bubbles  a red flying carpet, a nazi swatstika is the center piece garment of the hood he crashes into a phat yodelling lady dressed in Traditional Bavarian Tracht and bursts into swatstikas that turn into love hearts and bubbles.

the cartoon ends and film burns out

the street is in still terror

japil eyes fang

fang eyes japil

japil: forever in fin

fang:go move

japil stands still. fang points the luger to his head

fang:go now

japil stands still

japil:fuck you and your fuher.

japil spits

the spit lands on fangs face.

japil refuses shaking

japil: El Maleh Rachamim

fang hits him with the pistol japil drops

grim: get up get up

japil: El Maleh Rachamim

fang then grabs him by the hair and lifts him

grim: salute the fuher

japil salutes with a gun to his head

fang: now kiss it

jappil kisses the luger

fang: again twice

japil breaksdown in tears

japil: no no

grim kisses the air

fang kisses the air

gordon laughs and kisses the sky

vikor kisses the air three times

solo kisses the air and laughs manically

lukin kisses five times

fang: now kiss it

japil kisses the luger and begins peeing on the shoes of fang

grim: this is the most attractive you’ve been all day hahaha

the ss all clap

grim: look at him pee

japils piss creates a puddle

grim: swein vermins everybody! cut it off

fang exposes a knife and grabs japils penis and cuts it off

he drops bleeding out. japil lies on the ground surrounded by the living

grim: what was the roaches name?

grim: who OWNS this child!!

a jew named ANNETE in the herd breaks out

annete: japil was his name!

TITLE APPEARS- JAPIL-

scene int day village

a classroom full of teenagers

japil: whats your name girly girl

amput: amput

japil smiels. amput smiles

narration japil: that was the first time i saw the love of my life naked.

amput digs away. the life leaves japils body

i lost my dick and my life.

japil is lieing dead in a pool of blood by the herd.

village street-

amput: what is yours? mr bad haircut

japil: haha japil. i do need a new hair cut miss beautiful

amput: long on top .short on bottom.. like a soldier

japil: yes MAM!

amput giggles and smiles

japil is lieing dead in a pool of blood by the herd.

japil: death was a turn on, even dickless. i got to see my girl naked. regardless i was taken. as i layed in a pool blood i thought of our first kiss.

japil and amput meet

amput: see, i knew it would look good.

she kisses him on the cheek

japil smiles all over his body

amput diggs naked extrenously.

gordon drags japil dickless to the hole leaving his dick in a puddle of urine. his body is placed near the hole

gordon: i like how you dig girly

gordon takes a photo. she looks cold and disgusted

amput: uh fuck you

the herd stand trembling and hugging.

a small girl named gloris is now at the front

grim: naked now

gloris:-ahhhh

she flaps her arms like a duck

she takes her clothes off

fang: walk to that  man in the corner sweety pie

dad:you cant have my daughter

grim: uh uh uh

grim waves his finger

fang: she will be gods. naked, Now

he reaches out to choke fang

grim: naughty!

*pop* grim shoots him in the shoulder

dad:GLORIS! meyn lib(in yiddish) my love subtitle

AZIK falls to the floor

fang stomps his head out till blood flys like popping bacon

title GLORIS FATHER appears

gloris dad ties glorises shoes

dad:rabbit stew rabbit hoop under do the two roll like dough and then make whole

the bloody boot is removed from a puddle of slushed brains and skull fang spits on the body

gloris father: and there we go

sweetheart shoe tieing finishes

gloris: love you papa

they kiss

the wife is standing at the dooorway

gloris’ mother: i still remember why i married you

glorris father “i am good at knots too! hahaha

mum: you two going out?

jacobny: yes allday arent we glorpy

the mum smiles

GLORIS MOTHER

*pop* grim shoots him in the shoulder

dad:GLORIS! meyn lib(in yiddish) my love subtitle

the mum is in a cupboard she hears the gunshot from the top floor she jumps out.

mother: oh my

she looks out the window.

mother: JACOBNY!!

TITLE APPEARS -JACOBNY- with an old time cash register sound effect or timer sound effect or bell.

lieing mashed on med unrecognisable

solo: jew jewwww they open fire \ the herd scream

humba: lucille DROP NOW!!

a bullet goes through the window and puts a hole in the glass and lucilles head killing lucille

LUCILLE APPEARS:

lucille is reading gloris a bed time story

lucille:…..

“And it is such a ‘gift to G-o-d’ which I embarrassed today, for which I am so sorry. And now that this ‘gift’ returned and came to me, shall I not shower him with love?”

lucille closes the book

jacobny enters

jacobny: bedtime now.

glorpy: love you father

lucille: night glorp

lucilles kisses her head strongly

the body of lucille drops to the floor

Humberts family is now at the front of the line up

fang: clothes

she strips her body is vulumptulious

he hands a shovel to giyani..  

fang: dig

she walks two metres to the hole and digs naked along with the others

LuKIN: PUT YOUR BACK INTO IT, FASTER JEWS

grim lights a ciggarette. humba reaches the front of the line

grim: ahh dr gold

humba: water? you promised water

grim: i promise death

humba: you cannot do this my family is too young

grimm: clothes off now it will rain soon.. you will not leave to see the third reich cleanse the planet of the rodents of such

humba: for it was you. i would show mercy

grim: clooooothes

humba spits on grims face. he wipes it off

grim: do not be so difficult doctor, please.. i think your health may be at risk

he raises a luger to humberts head

humba: i will do gods work and put you in the ground

before i let you treat me and my family like animal….

grim: my apologies doctor gold but you jueden will not live to see our haven

grim puts the gun to his forehead

grim: 3,2,

HUMBA: DO NOT BE STILL MY BUTTERFLY.. RUN

grim: ein

gunshot

HUMBERT appears

hot air ballon proposal, humbert is with his wife in a hot air balloon

humbert: if you say no ill fall.

he pops open the ring box

humbert: will you marry me?

mrs gold: yes my love

humbert gets up and they kiss and then humbert places the ring on her finger

hardcut

back to the horror

corden picks up soflet and runs.

he gets 25 metres in 4 seconds when he is punctured in the head by a bullet fired by vikor. soflet drops and tumbles  a little but parrys to her feet quickly

-CORDEN- appers

ext flower field

two boys in a field of white blossom trees as the blossoms fall from the sky.  corden is with johla

corden: race me turtle

johla: you are the one who is slow

they run in slow motion through the white blossom trees

they fall down laughing

the two look at eachother

they coontinue looking at each other

johla: i told you i was faster

corden goes in 90

johla goes in ten

they kiss passionately

EXT by the hole

soflet keeps running and looks back

slow motion: soflet: cooooorrrrdy

johla peers out forty five degrees breaking internally forever

MUSIC

GRIM: LITTLE GIRRRRLLL?

vikor keeps shooting

grim: stop. vikor, do the opposite of let her go

she hides behind a tree

grim: fetch, retrieve her

vikor nazi sprints after her

the nazi quickly catches up and soflet is hiding behind a tree

she throws a rock at him it hits his helmet and bounces off

ext jump cut

a cat chases a butterfly playfully playfully catching and then viciously eating.

he smiles like a smug then charges her like a hungry leopard

a man strips and takes a shovel.

the nazis laugh together, they all dig

humbas body is rolled in as the hole gets bigger amput giyani and and now a man are digging the body flops in naked, corden is also rolled in.

vikor piggy backs soflet on his shoulders and walks back to the hole.

grim: nagi nagi nagi no more running kitty

she squirms and squirms

he laughs vile

vikor: drop lot vici vici kitty

vikor holds up soflet and makes kissing faces at her

he strips her and places her on the outskirts of the hole.

ext

the butterfly lands on the white kittys back to which the kitty plays with

stel steps towards fang

stel: do not hurt my sister. please dont hurt my soflet sausage please

fang: if you are lucky you wont be breatheing to watch her perish .

stell pulss fangs gun to her gut and slams the trigger destroying her insides

Grim: the odds were so. and so and so it is, we lose another contestant hahaha

he pulls off stells dress and holds it holey and dripping blood

fang picks up stel and hungs her walking her on his torso and squeezes her cheeks

he squeezes the cheecks and puppets her  like a ventriloquist

fang:“ do not hurt my sister” hahaha

grim snickers sneering

he continues dragging her

fang:i love sausage

grim: your so funny

he walks her all the way to the hole

she flops into the now three metre hole row wide and half a shovel deep ragdoll flopping into the grave like a tetris piece

STEL APPEARS

playing with a dradle

stell: I was the first born in my family, my job was to inspire and take care. i died when i saw no posibillity of escape or life. i died when i smelt the germans breath

grim beathes smoke in slow motion. conducting with a ciggarette

stel playing with a dradle

stel: lehiyam

grim:to the hole?! clothes, roach..

you are not the digging type, frail.. disgusting.. you are with god i see.

the lady is praying to a star of david mumbling jewish prayers as she takes off her clothes

grim: to the hole we’ll save the eldest till last

the nazis strip the elderly and have her stand with the children

fang returns

she walks over to the hole shaking with a star of david

a child approaches grim handing grim a flower

grim: you are so polite i love when they dont speak. there almost cuter

veros: pleas let me live. i need yogurt sir! i need biscuits. i need dolly

grim: oh, her voice! she’s cuter than honey pie, yes! where is dolly?

veros: with my heart, but in room.

grim: lets go get dolly?

veros:pardon

grim: dolly! lets go and get her shall we, take my hand!

veros: ump

she takes grims hand

grim: watch these. try not to kill any

fang nods

grim and vera walk quietly and wholesomely. three jewish men are at the front of the line up

fang: strip now

pattering footsteps as grim and vera happily walk to veras house

grim opens the door

grim: oh dolly!

the wooden door creaks

veros: dollyyyyy!

grim: where is your dolly !

veros: come this way take my hand this time!

grim: ok..

they walk into the house and upstairs into her bedroom

veros: heres my heart, its where my invisible friend lives too his names mickey

we’re going to get married hehe

grim: hello dolly

veros: hello dolly!

grim:now darling, sweet, sunshine daisy?

im going to kill dolly  and your entire fucking race!!

grim takes out his luger and shoots dolly in the head.

vera screams

the window is opened and he throws the dolly out .

the dolly falls out the window near floaying from its lack of weirght it hits the floor and thee with a plop that sounds like a gatorade bottle on cement.

the girl veros starts crying

veros: why did you do that to dolly? WHY!?

grim: dolly is worth plenty more than you and your kyke moustache.

grim lifts veros by the hair

she squirms and screams he walks her to the window

vera: ah AH AHHH

grim: todaaa

she is thrown out the window hear hair pulled out

she is have way through the air when it pauses.

title appears- Vera

velos: this is how i died in my head.

vera is flapping her arms and soars into the sky after picking up her dolly

she kisses the dolly, and the dolly bullet holes sparkles to perfection. as she happily flys away into the clouds hugging her dolly.

velos: but in reality…..

a still of veros halfway through the air  

velos: i only flew two seconds

vera (velos) falls and her head splats on the floor

the door to the house closes and grim struts like disco back to the line up. two more jewish men are now digging at the hole along with 5 others.

GRIM: put bubbles on a shovel and take her to the hole . and uh her dolly too.

birds eye as they shiver by the hole vera and the dolly are thrown into the growing grave one by one vera first followed by her dolly

annette is next in line wideshot right of frame.

ANNETTE apears.

int- room- candle lit

writing in her room a love letter to japil by scrunched up pieces of paper. she puts it in a letter box

japil reads the letter.the letter, yiddish, reads

narration: japil i have a secret. my heart is warm at sight, my hand quivers in silence, my heart beats for thee, my chase to compel you, intercept me at the rocky street my lips have been waiting to meet. love, me (its a secret).

japil runs to the roof and screams

japil: AMBER

Japil smiles and puts the note in his breast pocket

annette along with the golds overhears

humba wakes up

humba: ohp

annette: my heart is ashamed. doooooo

amput: yiptuhhhh!?hahaha

annette punches the mirror and holds it to her throat

annete: discourse of my love. i am not alive.

she puts down the shank and cries

annette: a who who who

grim returns to the formation

grim: ah knower of japil? for breast take attraction, it would please if i fed you…?

does your interest peak? are you eager..

annette: what is that you want?

grim gets down to the puddle of piss and picks up japils severed penis

approaches annette

grim: second meal of the day. i take it?

annette: number one..

annette sucks the dick passionately

grim: on knees..

annette gets down on her knees and sucks the severed cock

grim: the swan performs!

annette: gluh gluh gluh

she throws up vomiting on the severed dick

grim:well done ! fine swan! for that you now get to live an extra 15 minutes, for your victorious lap of celebration.

take this shovel. dig. grim spits

annette: RAAAh ILL KILL YO/UU..

grim trips her

grim: now youve lost the attention of the audience the golden earring and lead trophy will not be in your grasp. im going to dig, LITTLE SCHLAMPE

SUBTITLE APPEARS: little slut  

he puts the luger in side her pussy an blows her mind twice she squirms orgasmically the bullets pop out her head

annette: japil

she falls in slow motion

grim: doo doo doo doo

grim: how could a swan fall without wings

violins exume

grim plays with his belt

grim : 2 LITTTTLLLE PIECESSSSSS!!!!….

fang: this is deaths symphony a corpsely arrangement of worthless vermin

grim: uhh. do not interupt.. i was about to break into song

solo: grim fancys her showmanship

grim breaks her neck

?the nazis throw coins annette?

she bounces like a coupe deville ragdoll the nazis sneer and gawk. the line near now 7

scooj is at the front of the line. a father

grim: seven left to face there doom was peggy looping new, my power to the funeral of undesirable.!

annette is dragged away in the backround

nazi:hurrah

the nazi heil hitler

solo: HURRAH!!!

vikor moves in from the back of the line PASSING SCOOJ A SHOVEL

grim: OK

vikor: dig

scooj walks to the body filled hole

an old man A young lady with a small boy and  another young man are at the front of the line

grim: ok little vones..

grim:take off your apparel and take in the trees the birds cheeping andthe wind that talks for soon you will be very very grave..

they strip the old lady and the little boy

maree: you do not know what you are doing? eternal damnation will be your fray, devil.

the devil has you by the soul and swallows you whole.

they all walk to the hole where 10 stand naked surrounded by nazis

they are lined up in a row by the 3 metre wide and one metre and a half deep mass grave

gunther starts crying

maree: think of pretty girls and stand with god gunther laughter is the best medicine, laugh at them!

gunther has a gun to his head

gunther laughs at the nazis

vikor: his laugh is so cute

solo: cheesecake

solo takes a picture of the little boy

grim: i like him..

kill him now

gunther: laughters is fond of my remembers ha hahaha

he begins to cry

*pop*

the boy IS SHOT IN the forehead he falls into the grave as the blood pours like a garden hose without a nozzle

GUNTHER (appears) in a synagogue

rabbi: keep these words inside your head gunther

Gunther looks the rabbi hits him with the book

rabbi:no matter how gloomy things seem, everything can turn around, talking to god can turn things around.

amput narration: the blue eyed man looked like a jungle man i spoke to him

amput: feeling good?

grim: not just yet

amput: on with you ! spits. where is your god?

grim: goodbye foul breathed kyke tata

amput:talatata monkey

*pop*

she falls like christ

AMBER appears

amput: suck your mother!

lights a ciggarette and blows a spit bubble.

amput brushes her hair three times in the mirror prepared for bed

amputs body is dragged to the whole she flops in indecently and flumpy.

a jew stands naked jumpin about

desdett: hows it going?

grim: what do you mean, it?

desdett: i could go on and on about. it. im in my birthday suit and im about to find out.

solo: gut weiter nackt sein (good, continue being naked.)

grim: any last words smart mouth?

desdett: knock knock

grim: your not there

grim drags him by the hair AS HE SQUELS fang holds the few alive at gun point like a super spy comically. desdett is now at the grave and holds him at the cusp of the dirt

desdett: ahh ahh ahh (squel)

grim: I DO NOT FANCY FORTUNE TELLING although

grim: death rules here, death rules the land

whilst he conducts some more

grim has his foot on his head.

he shoots the naked dessert

DESDET appears

desert is jumping on his bed singing

desdet: two little monkeys jumping on the bed the little one fell off and bumped his head

-back to the horror-

Grim : step right up

giyanyi is at the front of the line and is quick stripped

giyani is shot in the face falling flopping into the mass grave

-giyani appears

giyani in youth covering her face in lipstick circullly

and smiling childishly

giyani: i am now beautiful

she runs into the living room and the fmily laugh

stel: what have you done to your face?

they laugh

polonaise no.4 plays

9 more are shot and fall one by one

there last words in silent shot portralisticly higher res then the rest like a heat camera but less black. over a minute

grim: old jueden. you are the last.. old saggy vitch

marlot: UGLEEE!!!

*bang*

UGLEE appears. subtitled:(of god)

the sound of the body drops. in black.

grim: lets get out of here

intermission appears ray anthony room 43 plays out

soft fade MEANWHILE IN JAPAN appears announced by american.

6 sumos sit on a caroseul eating apples the apples are red and one is dropped falling to pieces.

54 minutes later appears -

polonaise no.2p plays

the naked corpses lie like a plate of jelly and the music gets louder. they hobble and wobble like meat, skin rubs

red

humba emerges

-the creshendo-

gasping for air

he picks up the sticks biting down on the stick he uses the second to pull out a bullet shard lodged in his cheek.

“butterfly” he shakes in terror especially his legs

“annneta”

he shakes annetes body she doesnt have any life

humbert: please

blood spills from his head

the village is still wakefully it rains

a town destroyed

humba:the street runs with my blood.

HUMBERT appears

hava nagila plays

he walks awkwardly back to his home to get a coat

and some pants

end scene

a tear rolls down humbas face as he breaks his house and he grabs a pair of scissors

the havas become humba as the choir returns in a disney fashion.

ACT 3 appears

“the monster custom, who all sense doth eat of habits devil, is angel yet in this, that to the use of actions fair and good, he likewise gives a frock or livery that aptly is put on”

appears-

scene int grims home.

grim: last day today

grims wife: i dont not want to have sex with you reak of *beep*

and your eyes smile of death

grim:no?!

grim rapes his wife he takes her as she comes

grims wife : uhh

fade to black

grim redos his belt buckle

grim: hitlers showcasing the german athlete before we introduce the final solution, fine athletes..

grims wife: hmm

grim: i do the death circus gladly and the fuher expects me to admire this jarra’s ability to run quickly quickly quickly. un

grims wife: i want you to race him? show this jarra

grim:i feel so useless darling

grim: the death circus continues da

grim:  more of use  i figure, fuhers all in a fuss cause he drinks almond milk da

grim: we will race him with the jueden and the winner will live to tell of the triumph

grims wife: dont count these frighty able out da  

scene end

scene ext/int brothel dusk

humba finds his horse in a field. he slowly appraches him and places a saddle on her back.

scene ext/ day running track

mengele: good morning to you all. today we pit the ability of our fine german against the dead

trumpets sound

cameras are rolling.

mengele:the first of many tests. welcome jarra!!

the crowd hurrahs

jarra takes to the starting line

mengele: and the jews

three jews walk to the starting line

mengele: on your marks!

the runners ready for a sprint

a gun is fired as a starting of the race and one of the jews drops after being hit by the bullet

jarra runs taking an early lead making ten paces ahead of the jews that follow suit

the swatstikas wave in the wind

jarra wins

mengele: a fine experiment!

the trumpets ring

the nazia file out of the stadium

two jews are placed up against the wall and shot at the same time their brains splatter the wall.

the trumpets echo with the gun shots an empty stadium

…

jarra flakes appears in cartoon

a cereal commercial

voice over: hey kids do you want to be big strong and fast? then you need jarra flakes

jarra: everyday i strive for perfection

(crunch)

…

grim approaches jarra who is still at the stadium dusting off his shoes

grim: hey i want to race you? my wife she wants me to race you

jarra: hmph

grim: please

jarra: ya

grim marks a starting line with his foot creasing the dirt

grim: this the de start.. to that pole

they run symphonically

…

grim looses by a nose

grim pulls out his gun and plugs jarra in the knee

jarra: coward. i won.

jarra flakes appears comically

grim: i drink jew blood

grim shoots him in the other knee

and then the head quickly

…

grim picks up the body

grim:believe it. you are very dead. very fast.

the body is lumping around feet dragging

grim:so it is so

lump

grim: ..you are no more

lump. grim enters the change rooms dragging the dead body

grim:so fast you were early for your own funeral

lump. drop

grim: artherrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr hhahahani

…

ext/int afternoon dusk

humba stalks the road on his horse through a street florished with nazi propaganda he dismounts the horse by a neon lit brothel. he walks in with a nod the girl working the brothel perks up

nancy: hello

humba walks straight past.

nancy: oh

you can hear nazis fucking an orgasmic lust of paid flesh.

a german is in the toilet whistling “ the way you make me feel”

humba walks in wand kicks open the cubicle the nazi pulls out a luger and is stabbed in the chest with a pair of scissors then slicing his throat in the chaos the toilet roll spills on the floor

…

humba exits the toilet now dressed as gestapo

humba:va

the man sits dead on the toilet covered in blood

…

“THE DEATH CIRCUS” appears

a train passes a live classical band full of chellos and violins is at the gate

grim: i formally welcome you! to the death circus !

the band intensifies

a tattoo gun rings

grim: this is how we count you

three jews wrists are marked with numbers

the jews stand naked and lifeless

3 tattoos are done

the number reads

2476.759

and the second

1865.7999

grim: haircuts!

one jews head is shaved

the jews stand lifelessly  but now bald and thinner

grim: heres where you eat!

the food slops from the laddle of the kitchen hand

twenty jews stand lifelessy

grim smells the gruel paste of food

grim: yum yum

…

grim: heres where you sleep!

jews stand naked priceless

quick cut to the jews lay in the hard wooden bunks

grim: no standing on the roof, okay? if you get on the roof the only way to get you down will to be to shoot you down

…

…

grim:and thhis, this, is where you clean

hundred jews in the  shower vomiting there last breath as the chemical seeps in the shower dining together

sclub 7 plays- bring it all back begins playing

gold is ripped out of the jews mouths 1 by 1

some have three gold teeth

14 floppy dead

the nazis dance in formation as theatrical as thriller but like puppet masters

and birds. a small musical number as teeth are pulled out in a gory display montage

…

a german circus takes place outside the walls of the camp

goebells watches smoking a cigarette and clapping at the wonderful quirk of circus

the clowns take photos

and a bear is in a car

grim enters the high room in which goebells sits a high viewing point

goebells: uhh grim

grim: i mine blinded by light they will not see

goebells: thats not going in the new picture

goebells: the word of your brutality is outstandingly unpopular

grim: are they calling me, the gollum?

goebells racks a line of coke

goebells: no there calling you the….

goebells whispers in grims ear (inaudible)

grim:??

goebells: your supposed to have a line?

grim: WHAT! goodbye

grim exits

goebells continues watching the circus

grim leaves

goebells: hitler faggot pshh

goebells associate: what of grim

goebells: he thinks he is a supreme killer i know

associate: hmm

goebells: “i know but look at him clutch the teet”

scene ext/int beach

australias sunsets as a ship breaches the horizon

an aboriginal drops a spear

100 years later appears

aussie kids smokes a homemade bong

i skrag were the fucks me weetbix

fucking oven ya lost it

oh fuck me with your weetbix

mum: tyler

tyler: yeah ?!!

mum: whens fatal attraction on?

tyler:  aw shove a weetbix up ya cunt  !!

mum: ya oven fucking lost it

scene end

scene ext/int desth camp

the speaker adresses the camp

mengele: appointment for torish haim

torish: donpupalay

family hug

torish enters a grey drab room

mengele: good day

torish shakes

mengele: were going to see if you have a spine. lie down here for me (in german)

grim is sitting in his office bored chewing bubblegum like a pregnant man with his hands on his belly

he hears screams from the next room

grim: do do do do

*chomp chomp*

he blows a bubble

pi- monkeys fucking by the twos for pi seconds

grim: youll fly when the world convinces you too

ext- dusk-

humba shines a luger on his horse. entering the death camp met with salutes from two officers

humba humba screams the choir

alma-santa sangre plays

naked jews are lined up for the shower shaking in cold

humba walks pass not batting an eye

the choir sings to drums

humba dismounts the horse at the office

the music stops

he enters the building trenchcoat flapping in the wind

humba knocks on the door that reads grim.

grim answers

accent

grim: I..

HUMBA lunges at him puting a pistol in his mouth

grim gets on his knees

         grim: dr gold pleased to see you what a surprise

humba: my life

grim: uhh

humba: are you my corden?

grim: (pistol in mouth) no

humba: my neighbour .. lucille

grim: put the gun down i dont want to have to kill all these people again

humba: my butterfly?? are you my butterfly? ARE YOU

ooo ooo my butterfly

grim: you will fall. you will die. and they will all be like your butterfly

humba: my butterfly? maybe line humba: im not here to save my people i cannot be saved

grim: my name is grim hölle leben Nimm mich jetzt g i am forever grateful

grim smiles and takes his hat

grim blows a big bubble with his bubblegum till it pops

-grim- appears

grim appears- 2 ii loved music, erna sack in particular  i’d never heard such a woman sing, such a voice, i imagined her killing power to be on par with my own

grim imagines erna sack singing to a audience of sorts and there heads explode one by one in slow motion to the height of her opera vocals its a real performance bar similar to a comedy club, red curtains circle tables in seats of two

humba fires one bullet

grim is hit once blowing his skull out and the second bullet

mengle looks up hearing the shots midway through cutting out a spine

mengele: oop

mengele walks out with a bonesaw in hand and is shot in the shoulder stapling him to the floor by humba.

pow.

humba walks slowly out

the boy screams in visceral terror

humba exits the building hiding from two nazis at the staircase

…

humba tips his hat

humba mounts the horse and exits the death camp slowly

nazis look on in confusion

MONTAGE:

one loaf of bread

kid in class recites : 6 million, NOW, aw get them extinct, you stink jueden, The war is worth nothing, we have nothing?, we have love (in yiddish). what did the stars say

act iv- turnover

int boardroom

goebells is in a meeting

GOEBELLS: i have the perfect idea for the new picture.. were going to make a spectacle of this Humbert the killer of our Grim

as his appropiates i wish you to star in it. find the reichs pest wherever he hide. were going to catch that little devil.

fang solo and gordon stand.

GOEBELLS: COSTUMES!!!

salsa music plays

goebells queerly runs through his studio costume department flying like a bird. playing with the coat hangers

gaffer: mark scene 7 take one

Goebells: action

the three stand in uniform and enter the car

- death squad- or -terror squad- appears to a jazz tune

solo sits at a chair smoking a cigarette

fang: my name is private fang: and i am here to do gods and the fuhrers  work

i like reading and making love.  

gordon: i take photos. my name is gordon. im here to cure the the german people from undesirables.

two flags fly a german and a nazi party flag

solo: My name is solo. im a gestapo i kill vermin!

solo shoots a disabled jew

narration goebells: a devil is among us.. a vile jueden determined on espionage and economic turmulence and death of the german people.. we will struck him out!!!

iconography of the nazi party.

fang: we are sharks..

solo: and we will catch ze fish swimming in our destitude.

goebells: schneiden! okay solo can you come here? can you just say “i will kill every jew, every last jew”

solo nods

goebells: rolling!

solo: i will kill every jew, every jew.

goebells: now fang say this with more att-ti-tude than solo

goebells

goebells: fang, every jew will die by my hand, or die by the hand of my species

fang: every jew will die by my hand, or by the hand of my supreme race

goebells: perfect

goebells: rolling!

gordon: there will be no smiles till every jew has parished.

goebells: good schneiden! love what you did with it gordon beautiful. now we tulgen to the seen of the crime

a swatstika appears a nazi

narration goebells: anywhere the deficient breathing jueden still lurks some hide under floor boards.

jews are marched out from underneath floorboards and herded up from houses.

goebelss: others.. in wardrobes. they could be in your home? in your backyard??. at your dinner table????!

a swatstika flag flys in the wind.

narrator: they will meet DEATH

-death squad- appears

jazz trumpets horn out.

scene-ext/int-day

humba rides his horse by the horizon untill they find a lake

the horse stops to drink he gets off and cleans blood from his hands.

for sometime

looking at himself seeing the monster in himself

the water ripples and a red filter is placed over the water fading in over one second

the water waves place upon the shore in echoing with the crys of the dead neighbourhood

“shlikenshaaa”

“Ugleee”

“mahunsha”

humba trembles

-the death squad-

appears again

goebells: MAKE UP people MAKE UP. i want you killers to look like true german sex cuisine, okay lighting.

this is when we kill the scoundrel; lets find the jew, put another hole in his head.

solo:this man killed germans

fang:one jew is to many jew

gordon: i will have no remorse for a jew corpse

goebells: yes, i like that one alot

scene end

humba is loading his luger in nazi uniform by the lake

he counts on his fingers ,

humbert: eyns

humbert:tsvey

humbert: dray

humbert: fir

humbert: finf

humbert mounts the horse and rides into the landscape

they track humba in a landscape montage

as humba rides quietly

-gordon solo fang killed off possible bygun fire luger

pop pop pop

they drop a ?bullet pops goebells camera?

humba fires one moe to find an empty clip

a shot of gordons camera

gordan: appears: first camera flash and first photo, world war 1 is over newspaper

a shot of solos nazi arm band and name reading Q.Solo

solo: with nana “your my man of the house” “

Fangs dead face shot

fang:eating an apple while seeing his first girl naked ala once upon a time in amez

birds eye and close up of eye then nazi arm and then distorted face

the trigger goes click

goebells prances

goebels: oh….

humba: How did our eyes get so red?

goebells: i think the present owner.. cant count.. silly silly jew

humba: i am the holy

humba reloads the luger

goebelss: you are the dead. goose egg.

humba pushes goebells

humba: walk

goebells: uhh! i am supreme to these, hitler faggots pshh

humba: WALK!

GOEBELLS hands are raised

GOEBELLS: “nigger rape jew” “fuckin spit on you” !

goebells spits at humba

they march over the hills

(goebells is in fur coat)

goebells: all you prayer given slugs ever wanted

goebells falls over from a push

goebells gets to his feet

goebells: i am the man of the century.

humbert: hent royf

subititle: Hands up

GOEBELLS raisies his hands

HUmba:goodbye.

goebells: Kill away… kill me like the good abortion you are…

humba: it is i who deliver you to the devil. (yiddish)i am the angel of death.

GOEBELLS : i am the man of the century! fuck you and your jew mouth.

pop

ARHHHHHHHHHHH

goebells is shot and falls to the floor his blood translates with the lake

Goebells appears:

narration-

History may claim there ‘is” a solution in which we only killed forty maybe 50 but the pretty pictures speak not only a thousand years for all that of a thousands years of the third reich.

goebells: goebells plays with a toy car by a chess game his father sets up chess game. the wheels spin. german): the apple does not fall far from the tree, it is our legacy.. our wit our charm in victory and our legacy my son, sit, play with me.

goebells how do you play

blood drowns the chessboard. frame locked on the chessboard

a bird flys through the window and smashes a framed picture of a young goebells

a german family is eating dinner three girls and a man

knock knock

the father gets the girl to open the door

crate: get.. door!

a girl answers the door

girl: heil hitler

crate: come in sit down

humba enters still dressed as a nazi, the girl sits back down

the father is eating with his mouth open

crate: heil hitler

humba: heil hitler

crate: oh, pull up a chair, have a plate

the family eat there steaks

the man chews

the daughter chops her steak

another daughter burps

the man chews

THE MAN CHEWS

humba looks blankly disgusted and out of reason

THE MAN CHEWS

THE MAN CHEWS

crate: where are you from

humba: listal

THE MAN CHEWS

crate: lovely place

humba: da

crate: what brought you here

the daughters chew

a daughter cuts the steak

THE MAN CHEWS

crate: say something

the man chews mouth full and open

crate: what brings you here

THE MAN CHEWS

humba: funeral

THE MAN CHEWS

the man chews

humba bows in disgust

THE MAN CHEWS

flashbacks appear screams of the flashbacks

                      crate: ahhh terrible news. not like our good germans killing them softly, gods work. the MAN CHEWS

the man chews

the man slices his steak

the man chews

THE MAN CHEWS

the man chews

THE MAN CHEWS

THE MAN CHEWS

humbas eye drops one tear

the man chews

THE MAN CHEWS

a car drives past exposing humbas nose

synths charm and the candles from hannukah appear ala exorcist when the demon face appears

crate: jewish!?!!

humba pulls out his luger and pops the father in the centre of his head

the girls pull out of there seats

silence

Humba puts the gun in his mouth

Humba: Life. A groyser tzuleyger

he blows his brains out, his head smacks the empty plate on the table below him breaking it. `

UGLEE appears

YELLOW SUBTITLED: of god

the girls scream as there chairs pullout

…

humba is at a hospital bed his wife is giving birth. a baby is born the mother lives..

humba: this is the happiest day of my life

humba pokes his babies nose

she is crying then he touches her nose and she stops crying

baby:ooo

humba: “butterfly”.

los lobos-we belong together plays

fin

notes:

-rewrite how humba finds where the camp is

rewrite-

escape of jews- maybe did a runner* conversation conversation conversation escape naked

thank you: Rebecca, Nagi and Emily ,

[chicagoindiecritics]

New from Al and Linda Lerner on Movies and Shakers: Mulan

Mulan is exquisite and packed with action, destined to become a Disney classic, because it tells the tale of a fierce female hero. Does it have the depth of emotion of other Disney favorites?

New Zealand film director, Niki Caro, has created an epic film, with meticulously choreographed stunts and battle scenes shot with precision on both geometrically defined and lush locations. Australian cinematographer, Mandy Walker (Hidden Figures) uses all the angles which Carol shows in rapid succession to show Mulan’s extraordinary prowess as a warrior. 

Caro makes Mulan a driven young woman who is eminently relatable. Yifei Liu’s portrayal of Mulan succeeds because she is shown as both beautiful and strong, powerful still vulnerable. But at the same time, it also depicts her respectful relationship to her father as being traditional and eventually, progressive. Will she be able to follow the inscriptions of being loyal, brave and true on her father’s sword? 

This story is based on legendary versions of Mulan about young girls who turned warriors.  “The Ballad of Mulan” has been traced to the Northern Dynasties of China from 386 to 581 AD. There have been several versions in addition to Disney’s 1998 animated Mulan. But instead of being voiced by big name actors who were not all Asian, this film has an all Asian cast.

Liu as Mulan makes for a good role model for young girls. She trained for 3 months, 7 hours a day to get the moves right for the action scenes. But she was already a quadruple threat who beat out 1,000 other young actresses who auditioned for the role. This accomplished martial artist, already knew how to wield a sword, ride a horse, and she sings “Reflection,” Disney’s signature Mulan song in Chinese over the end credits.

Magic plays a central role. Characters, both good and evil possess “Qi” (Chee), believed to be a vital element forming part of any living entity. Qi means “air” but can also be thought to be “material energy, life force”, or “energy flow.” Mulan shows right from the first entertaining scene of her as a child on a chicken-chase through her village and leaping fearlessly over roofs that she possesses special powers. Her father, honored warrior Zhou (Tzi Ma), recognizes that the Qi is strong in her. When the Emperor decrees a male from each family must serve in his army to defend the kingdom, Mulan steals her father’s sword and armor and pretends to be a boy to serve in his place.

Mulan is challenged by Xianniang ((Li Gong) who recognizes the young woman as force equal to hers. Xinniang had good intentions as a young girl, but after being rejected and discounted her whole life, just for being a woman, she turned bitter. Referred to as a witch, she is able to shape shift, and transform to attack as a predatory bird. This is where the script really stands out in giving us a feminist take on how Mulan and Xianniang are not all that different. They are both fighting to be recognized for themselves. 

But Xianniang uses her power in her alliance with the evil Böri Khan (Jason Scott Lee, The Jungle Book, Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story) whose back-story explains wanting revenge on the Emperor, (Jet Li, Forbidden Kingdom). Lee plays a frightening and formidable villain well who will stop at nothing to avenge his family.  

The power of the movie is that the script keeps the audience enthralled and involved. Usually, epic action movies lose their mojo during the non-battle sequences, but Mulan’s journey pretending to be a man, learning how to be a warrior and the interactions with her fellow soldiers never lag. 

Mulan’s her rapid transformation from a dutiful, obedient daughter forging a new path of strength and leadership as a full-fledged member of the battalion moves a little too quickly. We do think there could have been more of a light, Disney touch interacting with her “fellow” soldiers. There isn’t much comedy in this film. It’s all very serious. 

But the battle scenes really pay off delivering abundant thrills. Dozens of warriors in colorful, especially red, detailed costumes with swords, spears and arrows flying everywhere make for epic battles. No worries about it getting too brutal for kids. In true Disney style, even though there is death and destruction, there is a minimum of blood seen on the screen. It’s certainly more tame than many video games. 

Disney films usually bring a tear to your eye and Mulan comes close with it’s emphasis on family. Director Niki Caro has translated the animated Mulan well into an elegant, exciting and well executed live action version. This is a female centric film, both in front and behind the camera. There’s plenty of “she” to go alongside the Disney “Qi.” 

Walt Disney Studio Pictures         1 hour 55 minutes           PG-13

Available on Disney+

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