#speaks: kinsley phillips.

[euphoriclusts]

closed starter for @caeruleums

"we shouldn't do this," an attempt to be firm - but the inflection in her tone makes it appear more like a question, than a statement. even the look in her gaze is practically begging them to contradict her words, to claim them completely unnecessary. after all, whilst they probably shouldn't - that wasn't to say she didn't want to. after all, the attraction was powerful, palpable and she could feel it in every inch of her body. it made it all the more challenging to ignore, when it almost felt instinctive to step closer. to get closer. "it'd be - i'm old enough to..." she chuckles humorlessly, cutting herself off, hardly wanted to continue on with her thought. only then does she grant herself permission to look in their eyes. "--we shouldn't, should we?"

[lovecharged]

@melancholystories liked this for a spotify related starter song: hate u love u - olivia o'brien

"it hurts me everytime i see you, i realise how much i need you."

[lovecharged]

"because it's like you won't make a decision, like you're relying on me to make all the decisions and that's not fair, even if it's because you have the sweetest intentions." she's unaware of the double meaning of her words, entirely unaware that abel would ever actually have feelings for her. still, she doesn't see the harm in flirting a little. after all, friends could flirt -- flirting was just a more satisfying way of communicating. "...god, abe -- you have no idea how hot it is when a man makes a decision." brows waggle playfully, as she reaches to stroke her hand along his cheek. "then again, you're hot enough as it is, so i doubt that's something you really have to concern yourself over." she's carefully resting the blanket over him as she speaks, entirely fixated on the moment and wanting it to last and last. "oh yeah, i wouldn't put on one of those. they just don't do it for me, really. i prefer the second chance love ones, when they're out of high school and they're finding their way in the world." she's idealistic, and who can blame her really? all she wants it to live contently, and if that means being labelled as delusional for trying to see the best in the world, then so be it; she'd wear the badge 'delusional' with pride. "maybe tune in love? or friends with benefits? or…lady chatterley's lover?" she doesn't really know much about any of the movies, they just look intriguing. she gets all the more comfortable by resting her legs beneath her frame.

sometimes, abel couldn't help but wish he was a few years older. the gap between him and kinsley didn't bother him, but he thought if he was just given a few more years, he would have his life more put together. and maybe then he would believe that he could walk beside her. as it was, he was convinced that he was behind, that all he could do was watch her back and protect her from there. his career as a stand-up comic hadn't taken off like he'd hoped it would by now, and he thought he was still getting his shit in order. while kinsley seemed to be in a place in her life where she was seeking stability. and that could be him projecting something onto her that wasn't really there. "what? how is it annoying? i just want you to be comfortable!" abel insisted with a laugh of his own, following her to the couch and sitting beside her where indicated. anything that they did, he would be happy with, ecstatic that they were just spending this time together. "netflix it is!" he didn't suggest one of the many comedy specials on the catalogue though that would be his first choice. it was probably a good idea to not watch them with the older woman anyway, lest he risk laughing so hard that he snorted wine out of his nose or something equally as embarrassing. "love a good rom-com romp. their originals tend to be pretty good too save for the, like, high school setting ones. i feel like they milk those ones too long and the dialogue's a little clunky." he's rambling now, stopping himself from going further by taking a long sip of wine.

[euphoriclusts]

closed starter for @goxinsane

"is that your new girlfriend? she's -- she's really pretty."

[euphoriclusts]

"you might not mind, but i certainly do!" kinsley was hardly ever outspoken, leaving that particular trait to her twin sister, however right now it felt necessary and she felt certain in her argument. "we can share the bed...it's big enough for the both of us, i think. neither of us have to get a bad night's sleep -- it'll do us no good tomorrow, will it?"

Open: f 25+ Connection: friend/crush Muse: Eva Dempsey. 21-26. Law student. Inspo: f/f point 3 here

"Look, if you want the bed, I'm fine to have the sofa. Guess they stuffed up the room layout here." Eva gave a small shrug, pulling her hair into a ponytail as she eyed up their hotel room. The group had planned this months in advance and specified two beds in each room, but somehow, this one got missed. "I really don't mind."

[euphoriclusts]

"oh, i'm not attempting to get in your way, lovely." she exhales slowly, watching her student with authentic interest. "how would that benefit me in the slightest? i want you to succeed, i want you to reach the highest of heights. i know what you're capable of. i haven't seen talent like yours in a long, long while, i don't want it to go unrecognised, unnoticed." god, she hopes that she's correct, that she's the one in a billion capable of changing an industry that has been stuck in its ways for thousands of years. she won't display disbelief, it won't make her any bigger, smarter or stronger to do so. "i hope that you're right, believe me. the younger me is cheering you on, as she was unable to change anything-" she cared a great deal about all of her students, and whilst she did push them, certain they were always capable of moremoremore, that wasn't to say she wanted to break them - she wanted to make them stronger, prepare them for what she deemed the inevitable. "you're a strong woman, a capable woman. who knows - maybe one day you'll be in the history books, and i'll be sure to cheer you on once you get there, but i only know what i know, and if that's the way you feel, maybe i have shown you all i can. maybe you're treading lines that i was unable to cross."

“then let them try to break it, madame,” peyton’s voice was steady as she approached the teacher, never wavering in the confidence she exuded, filling the room whenever she was allowed. even when instructors attempted to diminish her, her flame fought harder. “far too long this sport has been run by bureaucrats that cling to outdated guidelines, desperate to dig their claws into young talent and take advantage of them. knowing my limits is a strength that few dancers believe they possess. i can be successful without bowing to their every command — the fight will just be harder.” she’d already exceeded the expectations her sister left behind for the youngest kimura, flawlessly executing variations at a faster pace than her sister had, amongst other achievements. she fought every step of the way, everyday, putting in the hours to become the brilliant dancer she fancied herself to be. peyton only saw the real world of ballet as another challenge to overcome, with or without her instructor’s private assistance. “i’ll get it because i work for it, and anyone who gets in my way will be stepped on and tossed aside if necessary. that’s a promise.” eyes narrowed up at her, making it evident who the last comment was aimed at.

[lovecharged]

"life has a tricky habit of flying by without you realising it...doesn't mean we can't do that now, does it?"

''i don't wanna be twenty-somethin' and still in my head about seventeen in my bedroom talkin'. you said that by now we'd paint the walls of our shared apartment.'' / @stormbrews

[lovecharged]

kinsley is more than relieved that andrew feels the same way that she did. for a long whilst he had tried her utmost to refrain from exposing her feelings, attempt to quell them entirely but it was impossible. especially when he was still such a significant part of her life. they had grown so much since the end of their relationship, things were different now, they'd be better. "i would love that," the woman admits, her smile warm, bright and fond and entirely for him. "you want to pick me up or should we meet there?"

"you're right, kels. how are we supposed to be friends when we still have feelings for one another?" andrew asked with a tilt of his while leaning against the wall. it was the first time in years that both were going to rekindle their relationship. he thought that it wasn't going to happen, but it did. and the male couldn't be any happier. "how about we start all over again tonight? like when we met the first time at that bar."

[euphoriclusts]

""i'm sure." she argues on determinedly, hardly leaving eva room to speak. "i wouldn't be able to sleep knowing you were somewhere uncomfortable, eva. sleeping in the same bed is the best choice." it's confirmed softly, with a gentle smile to match. she has no qualms in sharing with the other women, none at all. in actual fact, the real problem might be how eager she is to do exactly that.

Cont. from @euphoriclusts || Eva and Kinsley (x)

Eva faltered slightly when Kinsley spoke up in objection to her suggestion, not expecting such a strong response. "Are you sure? I don't want you to have to lose space because of me. I promise I don't snore but..." She was a little anxious about being so close to the friend she had been harbouring a crush on for some time.

[lovecharged]

"oh! you didn't have to do all this -- i'm sure you have much better ways to use your time, abel." still she smiles, appreciation evident by the way she clasps her hands together. he really was a god send, whilst she might know her way around a dancefloor, she was pretty useless when it came to anything else...whatsoever. she didn't particularly mind any errors he'd made, either. it was just nice to have the company. it could get awfully lonely living in an apartment alone and he never failed to make her feel seen and remembered. "oh, yes. he's asked me too many times and i can't conjure up any more excuses." she barks out a laugh, as she continues to check her hair in the mirror, like she had been before he'd stepped through the threshold. "i figure if i pay for my half, i don't have to feel too guilty about not seeing him again though, right?"

open to women & enby ( 35+ ) muse: abel gibson. twenty-eight. struggling comedian. plot: abel is your muse's neighbor who helps out with errands, repairs, etc. note: made using beta editor. if you use legacy, please let me know in your tags and i will switch.

“hey, so i think i have this all figured out," abel said in way of greeting when he arrived, holding up a bag of things he'd grabbed at the home improvement store. "i watched a few tutorials on youtube last night and i realize what i've been doing wrong. is the toolbox in its usual spot?" as he asked, he walked in the general direction of where it was usually kept so that he could get to work. "i promise that i will be out of your hair in a couple hours." so long as he didn't screw up again. "you got those big plans tonight, right?" a smile was planted on his face, contradicting the sinking sensation rooted in his stomach.

[lovecharged]

kin's happier than she should be that her date ended up being a total failure. being here with the younger man is almost definitely all she'd wanted since the moment he'd shown his face beforehand. she couldn't help but compare the other man to abel. wondering how differently the date would've played out had she been on it with him instead. of course kinsley knew that was a waste of her time and energy, abel was a gorgeous guy, he was smart and capable and kind -- she figured he had a long, long like of potential suitors and she shouldn't ever get it in her head that she even stood a chance. sure, he'd dropped everything to save her from her villanous date, but that just went to show what a good man he was. "oh, that's such an annoying answer, abel!" she teases, laughter flooding the words to make it clear that she absolutely did not mean them, scrunching up her nose cutely as she takes a seat against the couch. "hm. yes, let us put on a movie. maybe on netflix?" as she speaks, she reaches the the blanket that's thrown over the back of the couch, resting it over her legs and folding it gently to show him where he should sit. she turns on the television with that and clicks onto netflix, ready to scan for a movie that they could watch that wouldn't be too intense and need their undivided attention. she didn't want to give anything her undivided attention. only abel. "do you like rom-coms?" she asks then, looking over at him with a playfully curious raise of her brow.

"i got us some garlic breadsticks! damn. should have thought to nab us a chocolate cake too," abel snapped his fingers, regrettable, feeling as if he's already failing on his best friend duties even though he has only just been assigned the title. all that he ever wanted to do was live up to her expectations, not knowing that, really, kinsley didn't have any for him. she just wanted him, and he just wanted her, yet they were both so oblivious to realize something that was so obvious. all that was keeping them from incandescent happiness was themselves. "but i can always run to the corner store if we have a sweet tooth after our carb load." now this was how he wanted to spend a weekend night, a much better alternative to his original plan of moping around. pizza still would have been involved, but kinsley only would have been in his thoughts rather than in his presence. though admittedly the circumstances were not optimal considering why it was that her date had been cut short, he was going to make the most of it, nodding his head as she excused herself to get changed. while he had been in her home plenty of times, this felt somehow different. like he didn't need an excuse to be there, didn't have to come up with some home project work on in order to steal some time with her. once she reemerges in her nightwear, his heart tugged, as if he was looking at a stripped version of her. one that was more comfortable, not bare in the physical sense but more so in the emotional one. grabbing the glass of wine, he thanked her and took a long sip. "i'm up for whatever you want to do," he emphasized that it should be her choice, "we could always cozy up on the couch, put something on low, and if we aren't entertained, we can just chat about whatever?" he assumed that's ultimately what would happen, as no script of a tv show would be more captivating than whatever the older woman had to say.

[lovecharged]

a smile; warm and content stains her lips as he confirms he too views her as his best friend. she won't ever wear a badge with quite so much honour nor pride. "good, glad to hear it..." trailing off, she really feels like a teenager with their first every crush, that's the intensity of her feelings for abel. "...that sounds like a perfect choice to me. do we get sides, too? a dessert?" she's excited and she's not even attempting to hide that fact, either. fact was, abel bought her out of her shell. with him, she felt safe. with him, she could be herself wholly and truly and not be all too concerned about any judgement. of course one, distinct and entirely too potent fact needs to be hidden from view, but she does that to protect this, what they have now. what she can't be without anymore. after all, him being here is what counts, not any special label, not more intimacy no. his presence is enough. is more than enough. more than she's even sure she deserves. "i won't be long," she assures, shifting from the room to quickly change her outfit. she tugs herself out of the all too tight dress that the other, creepy man had claimed had her 'asking for it' and steps out of her tights and underwear, unclasping her bra and replacing it all with a simple nightie, choosing to tug pyjama shorts on underneath, as to not be entirely inappropriate. exhaling softly, she feels a little shy when she checks herself in the mirror, before exiting the room and rejoining him, getting their glasses of pinot grigio prepared. "there you go," she hands it over, as she takes a small sip of her own. ah, exactly what she needed. "should we put something on the tv? or i can play some background music if you'd rather just…chill and talk?" there's a high chance she's rambling. it's not intentional, not really -- but it's equal parts finding it far too easy to talk to him and nerves, biting her in the chest.

"please. it's an honor to be your best friend. i will wear that as a badge of honor." the last best friend that he'd had had been lost to him. abel's last friend group had deteriorated after a horrifying incident, and he's been chasing after that kind of closeness with someone ever since. always trying to find someone that he truly felt like he belonged with. he had found that with kinsley, but the mistake had been when he'd taken it a step further and his platonic feelings for her had evolved into something far more amorous. "you're totally my best friend. are you kidding me? i don't spend this kind of time with anyone else, okay. you're my favorite." he can't help but gush because her calling him her best friend hit him straight in the chest and made his fondness for her swell to the point that it overflowed and leaked out all over the place. it truly was a wonder that the older woman hadn't caught onto the nature of his affections for her. they both were so oblivious to what was so obvious. "white wine, gotcha. you won't hear me complain considering what i normally drink is like the equivalent of piss water." he trusted her judgement. he trusted her in everything. "stuffed crust is a must. i think i'll just get us a supreme. that's a safe choice, yeah? and we deserve to feast on the goods. and of course, make yourself comfortable. it's your home, kin." too busy pulling his phone out of his back pocket, he didn't notice the way that she watched him with adoration gleaming in her eyes. it's only after he's ordered their pizza and garlic breadsticks that he looked up and walked into the house with her, only then letting her go so that she could move freely. "uh. pinot grigio." he went with the one that sounded the coolest.

[lovecharged]

"good friend, yeah…" she agrees, attempts to disguise her disappointment over the word being used. it felt almost purposeful, as if a part of him was privy to the knowledge of her inappropriate feelings, embarrassed tears threatening to fill her eyes; aching behind them. "you're a very good friend, abel. the best i've ever had." she means that and she appreciates that that's all they'd ever be. having that itself made her a very lucky woman, though she kicked herself for wanting more when he would most undoubtedly rather be with a woman far closer to his age. "do you think all forty year old women know the ins and outs of the perfect wine combinations?" a brow is cocked, feigning offence, attempting to distract her wicked brain from it's ridiculous disappointment. "i'm not sure, my usual go to with everything is chardonnay or pinot grigio." what had occurred before has almost left her entirely, despite the slight shake in her limbs that remains. she's more focused now on forcing her feelings back, aware that her current state of mind could easily have her ruining everything between them. that was something she couldn't stand the thought of. that was something she couldn't even fathom surviving.

making peace with kinsley going on this date had been hard enough, having convinced himself after a lot of agonizing that she was better off investing her time in people closer to her age and levels of success. now that this had happened, abel was plagued once more with the very idiotic desire to speak up about his feelings for her. the moment even felt right, like a moment of movie magic as they gazed into each other's eyes with obvious affection gleaming between them. yet he refrained, using his last drop of self-control, smile blooming onto his maw that shone bright under the lights of the night posts. "i don't know about all of that," he attempted to be dismissive of her praise, shoulders shrugging even as his grin only continued to grow and bloom. "i just did what any good friend would do." friend. a verbal reminder to himself of all that he could be to her. keeping her tucked close as she latched their arms together, he continued down the path toward their neighborhood. "it's really the best way to salvage a saturday night. so i know nothing about wine...is there any particular kind that goes better with pizza or...?" he kept the conversation flowing, wanting to leave what had just transpired behind them.

[lovecharged]

"hey now! i get to choose who my best friend is - not you. i don't have to be your best friend, but you're certainly mine." maybe that was embarrassing, a fact she shouldn't disclose. it didn't change the accuracy though. never in her life had she met anyone who made her feel like he did; so safe, so secure, so able to be vulnerable without fear of consequences biting her on the ass. abel meant more to her than she knew she could expose so, for now, and potentially forever, he'd be her best friend and he would accept that, hopefully liking it. "they're both white wines. i prefer white wines. i think red is better with meat, so unless we're getting meat feasts or something, i'd say going with white wine might be our best bet." white wine was also her achilles heal, but she'd try her best to not drink too much and make a resounding fool of herself. unlocking the door is easy, opening it to let him in first. "i think we have to get a stuffed crust. don't you think tonight feels like a stuffed crust sort of evening? i might get changed into my pyjamas too, if you don't mind. this dress is as uncomfortable as that asshole made me feel. apt, really." and pyjamas were comfortable, and that's exactly how she feels when she's with him. there is a certain excitement though, even if she knows nothing can or will come of it. closing the door behind them, she locks it and snorts as she does so. "i'm glad we can agree on that. or else i'd have to revoke the best friend card already." resting her back against the door, she merely watches him for a brief moment; appreciation activated within her sparkling gaze. "thank you," she knows she doesn't have to, but she wants to state it firm. "you have no idea how much you mean to me, abel." the words are heavy and weighted, exhaling slowly, she pulls away from the door and moves into the kitchen, "you want a glass if pinot grigio or chardonnay?" she teases then, biting into her painted smile.

it's humbling to be designated with such a high distinction, with the title of her best friend. the sentiment of all of it welled in his throat and abel could only supply a wobbly smile in response, coughing forcibly in an attempt to clear his airway before the bombardment of emotions tumbled out of him. "well i don't know about the best." then he's laughing, cheeks flushing sheepishly as he tried to backtrack and defend himself even though he knew that she was just being playful. "no, no, i just thought...y'know...you are more of a wine-o than i am, at any rate. i know nothing. i don't even know if, like, the ones you just mentioned are red wines or white wines or whatever." he would never really assume anything of her regarding her age. other than the fact that at this stage of her life, he's convinced that she's not looking to be in a relationship with a guy who's going nowhere fast like him. that's why the lines had to be drawn in the sand, why they could never be anything more than this. but this? this was comfortable, finally arriving back to her home and stopping at the door. "so what are we feeling like for toppings? i feel like we should splurge, get stuffed crust, go the whole nine yards. i have no request on exclusions other than the obvious. no anchovies or pineapple. or onions."

[lovecharged]

dating was hard at the best of times, made all the more difficult by men who often believed the were owed something. what made it even worse was that she knew who the perfect man was, what he looked like, how he acted -- but she couldn't possibly have him because he was younger than she was, and would surely never see her the way she saw him. it's a blessed relief he's her friend however, and the fondness and genuine appreciation in her gaze and her grin cannot be disputed or go unnoticed. the touch is a welcomed one, and she leans into it, whilst maintaining eye contact. after all, why would she want to look away from him? particularly right now, when she can tell his words hold weight that she needs (and wants) to listen to every last word. her head tilts, and her hands raise to cup his cheeks briefly, smile gentle; eyes focused, "you're my hero, abel," she wants to make that clear. that he really did save her, though she's not entirely sure what might've transpired if he hadn't shown up, she now doesn't have to concern herself over the notion whatsoever. "yeah, me too. it's what i wanted to do since we mentioned it," the confession falls quietly, looping his arm with her own, feeling safer the closer she is to him. "wine and pizza sounds like an ideal night, really. the company just amplifies it entirely..."

he's not a guy that's prone to violence, but when his anger had been ignited, a switch went off in abel that morphed him from an easy-going man who always wore a smile on his face to a man who snarled, scowled, and could bite hard when provoked. and seeing how affected kinsley still was as they walked away, he wished that he had bee able to land even more blows. how dare someone bring this beautiful woman to the point of tears? how dare someone strip away her agency and leave her this rattled? only pausing once he felt secure in them being safe and far enough away that he wouldn't be tempted to run back after the guy, the younger man held tightly onto kinsley's hand as if he was a lifeline. as if he could ground her back to him, back to feeling safe. as if he could act as a shield to the dangers of the world around him. "hey, hey, you don't have to apologize, do you hear me?" his free hand cupped her chin, tilted her face upward so that he could stare intensely down at her, voice firm but mindful of his volume as to not further spook her. "you did nothing wrong. you did the right thing. i'm so glad you called me...that i made it on time." his head shook away thoughts of what might have transpired if he had arrived even minutes later. "let's just get you home now, yeah?" his hand dropped from her face so that he could gently tug her along. "did you even get to eat? i can order us a pizza...wish we would've just done that to begin with."

[lovecharged]

eyes widen when abel appears, and she's not sure she's ever felt quite so much relief in her life. fear had filled her to the brim and whilst she wanted to believe the man wouldn't do anything to inflict serious harm onto her, she really couldn't have been sure about that. watching intently, all she does is blink now she's fallen into freeze mode, exhaling sharply when he does what he does, saves her from whatever else it was the man in mind for her, wanting to make her pay for being as rude as she had apparently been. anxiety remained inside of her, and she felt sick to her stomach for a multitude of reasons. embarrassed, shocked and entirely guilty, she follows the other man's lead without a word, reaching to take abel's hand. "thank you," she struggles to get it out; throat tightened as a result of the entire situation. thank god she had him, or who knows what could've happened. thank god he really did care the way he did. she doesn't even know how to thank him, doubts he'll even let her but she has to try somehow. "thank you," she says again, as tears form in her eyes, picking up a faster pace as she walks down the road with him, trying to let all those horrible feelings settle, even if they won't dissipate right away. "i'm so sorry for that, i really-i really am, that was...i hadn't..." she can't breathe very well, and she swallows thickly, squeezing at his hand, not willing to let go anytime soon.

as soon as kinsley picked up, abel felt like he could breathe again, and he greeted her with an enthusiastic, "hey, you." but the air was stolen from his lungs just as quickly as it was made apparent that the man was not leaving her be. abel's face quickened into a run, unable to get any other words out as he rushed to get to the restaurant. adrenaline and fear pulsed through him like a second heartbeat, wishing that he could yell through the phone to tell the man to fuck off but not wanting to further escalate the situation when he wasn't there in-person to serve as kinsley's backup. shivers bumped through his spine, her date's tone that he caught through the phone ominous. this fucking entitled prick. his feelings for the older woman aside, the way the other man was acting was despicable and abhorrent. abel wasn't someone that was quick to anger, easy-going in most instances, but the behavior of kinsley's date had ignited the switch. by the time that he saw the two of them in the distance, his temper was flaring, and he grabbed the man by the collar as soon as he was within arm's reach. "you fucking bastard, you have no right to talk to her that way." he pushed the man up against the wall of a nearby building, fingers clenched around the fabric of his jacket. jaw clicking, he folded one of his hands into a fist, and without thinking and acting only on instinct, he hit the man straight across the chin in a vibrating punch before he stepped back, standing between him and kinsley before turning to her. his anger deflated at the sight of her. "c'mon, let's go..."