#speaking to much can be a liability and he can't have that

[nyc-pizza-rat]

an idea came to me in the middle of the night. picture this: dean and cas out on a case, somewhere post s13, i would say, sans michael problem, effectively post canon in the sense that there is no real big bad left to fight they're just sort of doing their own thing. anyway. yes. dean and cas, on a case. and cas is near human now btw! his grace has been sort of..drying up, for the lack of a better word. and he's out hunting with dean alone. and they take a case somewhere close enough to home, but not too close, and turns out it's a witch. and everything goes more or less according to plan, but then cas gets SHOT because he's reckless and stupid, and it happens in front of dean and he goes panic mode crazy but somehow they deal with the witch. and then dean like. helps cas back to the car, stitches him up in the motel room, and he is soooo mad he just gives him the cold shoulder.

and they're driving home, and dean's looking out at the road, but he's not really seeing the road, he's remembering cas getting shot, and it's like the worst kind of memory, sth that catapults you into the past and brings the awful, terrible feelings up to the surface, and really, it's good that dean's been driving since about the time that he could reach the pedals because it's only muscle memory that's keeping him on the road. and then cas sighs, loud, and dean falls back into himself, and he's so unbelievably pissed he doesn't know what to do with it. he clenches his hands around the steering wheel and locks his teeth together.

cas shifts, and says, are you just never going to speak to me again? and dean says nothing and then cas goes, can we atleast turn on your tape, and this really fans the flames inside dean because he keeps calling it dean's tape and it's not dean's tape, it's CAS' tape because dean GAVE IT to him! when dean doesn't respond to that, cas tries to reach over to the console, and dean slaps his hand away.

says, sth along the lines of how reckless people dont get car music privileges, and cas rolls his eyes heavenward. Says, i wasn't being reckless! and i'm fine, dean.

and dean shakes his head and is like oh so that wasn't you that bled all over me back at the motel?

and cas is like. squinty glaring. dean goes, that's what i thought.

and then cas glares more, takes a breath. goes: you know, you are so much worse at being calculated in the field. you're the one who's always running into places without forethought. and dean's like well i'm not the one who went and got himself shot. and cas is like IN THE SHOULDER. it's not even a bad wound. i'll heal in no time! and dean scoffs and shakes his head and cas goes you're being a real assbutt right now. and dean goes your face is being a real assbutt and cas goes what and dean goes what? shut up.

and then cas goes back to staring out the window and dean goes back to replaying the fight in his head and driving and they don't really talk more and when they get to the bunker cas just gets out the car the moment it's parked and slams the door on purpose and dean is like great. just great. watch it, you dick! and he grabs the stuff from the trunk and then when he drops everything at the map table, he sees that sam and jack are fussing over cas about the injury (his arm's like in a sling and everything) and sam asks are you okay and cas is sooo annoyed he's like you guys are the worst im literally fine. and dean goes sure you are. and cas goes don't you start with me right now. and dean is like what? like you can't be doing this shit you're not invincible like you used to be you're gonna get hurt and when you get hurt you're gonna get in trouble, and you're gonna get everyone with you in trouble and it's gonna be a bitch of a situation!!!! and cas goes FINE then I'll just go hunting on my own then you don't have to take me with you and you don't have to worry about me bring a liability and dean goes shut the fuck up you're not going on cases ALONE are you not hearing me about you being vulnerable now and cas throws his hands up or tries to and then winces and dean grabs his arm to look at it and cas goes let go and dean goes shut up and let me look at it and then he does and cas has fully pulled at dean's crude stitches and he's bleeding a little through the bandages and dean says well shit.

so sam brings dean some real suturing supplies and then looks between them but decides he values his own mental health more than maintaining deancas peace (he's been working on his affirmations lately and he's realised that he's living like a child of divorce in his own house bc of these two) and fucks off. and dean's taking care of cas and cas is silently letting him but he's also fuming. and as dean's working on redoing the stitches he's kind of also losing it a little bit and again, it's really good that he's been doing these things since before he hit the teens bc the practice is really the only thing keeping his hands steady. and he goes. fuck. cas. it's just -- it's scary, alright? you don't wanna be in the field watching your partner go down -- that's just -- and cas interrupts him and goes i wouldn't have let anything happen to you and dean goes i'm not talking about me! i don't care about that! and cas is like quiet. chastised, almost. and dean's mind is going brrrr bc he's just saying things before he can think them right. and he's telling him hunting IS like this I know that but it doesn't change that your stomach just drops when you see someone you love get hurt in the field and cas goes what and dean goes, i mean i still panic when it's sam but it's just -- it's so much worse when it's you. and cas goes what. and dean is just babbling but cas is not hearing him not really and then cas says dean. and dean stops and looks up and cas goes it's worse when it's me and dean goes wide eyed like O-O and cas goes is that what you just said? and dean goes sure. ye-yeah. and then he looks down and he's done w the stitches. so he quickly sterelizes the skin and goes. well. rest up, sleep and cas is just dial-up modem rebooting mode right now and dean books it out of there and then they don't talk about it for like two weeks until cas' modem reboot finishes and then he just jolts into his senses and then he goes to find dean and kisses him stupid THE END

wholeheartedly believe that the first time dean drops the L word on cas, he’s scared and desperate and angry, and as he’s yelling at/pleading with cas (same thing to dean), “you’re the love of my life” just slips out. and dean doesn’t even think about it, because it’s just an obviously true fact to him.

meanwhile cas is totally blindsided making dial up noises and having his entire understanding of the world rewritten in an instant

[alotinone]

bruce is somehow both the loudest and quietest muse i have bc he will 100% have an option on anything and everything and when i ask him to talk he just goes .... " no."

[morallygreychaoticneutral]

Astarion doesn't ask for affection because he can't..... yet.

Ah, more tea steeping in this seeming endless sea of thoughts. This brew is a bit strong on the heart. Read with caution.

Warning for game spoilers and talk of abuse.

This perspective is from game content only. How anybody cannons their relationships or behaviors is perfectly right. No blame, no shame, it's your game.

I was always miffed at the lack of initiated affection from Astarion as a partner. YOU ask him for a kiss. YOU ask him for a hug. YOU ask him to tell you thank you after being an amazing partner and killing a massive beastie just for him! Brat...

But then I had a sudden realization. Given his past, affection is probably insanely hard to ask for. Like it can be for a lot of us.

Stay awhile and listen. (nerd)

Now when I speak of narcissistic abuse I am only speaking from what I know about it. I have no academic or phycology degree on the matter. Just good ol' tossed in the pond and forced to sink or swim experience.

Astarion spent 200 years under the crushing weight of narcissistic / psychopathic abuse. One of the things these types of abusers love to do is take what you love and make you hate it and then make you hate yourself for ever having liked it to begin with. All very nasty business that. But it's one of the main corner stones for the cage they build to control you.

They make you feel as if the request of a simple hug is the most pathetic thing you could ask for. Or the most selfish thing as it inconveniences them. They don't want it, why should they give it to you?

Shame, belittle, degrade, devalue..

200 years with a master who used him like a tool. 200 years with siblings that fought amongst each other so much comfort was a liability. Nights coming home assaulted only to be mocked for your tears. Insulted for your need of comfort.

"Pathetic! Weak! Disgusting! "

Shame, belittle, degrade, devalue..

Affection was nowhere to be found there, I assure you.

And for a Narc. anything given is expected to be "earned" in any way they see fit. And if you were "rewarded" with anything, it comes at high price.

And how dare you not find it fair. You ingrate!

Shame, belittle, degrade, devalue..

Hugs are pathetic. Kisses are an intrusion. Or they become gateways to other unwanted behaviors. To be held...what are you? A baby? The only way you are going to get held, is down.

Shame, belittle, degrade, devalue.. The pattern continues.

But you ask HIM for a kiss. And he says..

"There is nothing I'd like more."

And he means it.

I'd bet a mountain of gold he wants to just ask you himself. But years of conditioning to expect pain when seeking pleasure probably keeps him in a choke hold. Like rats that are shocked every time they try to eat food out of a dish. They learn it is safer to starve.

"I want to ask Tav for a kiss or a hug, but they might think i'm weak. But if they ask me first then it's them who wants it and they can't degrade me for it because they asked, not me. It's safe then."

"I want to ask Tav for a kiss or hug, but they might reject me for being too needy and shame and berate me for being so selfish or demanding of their time and person. But if they ask they have time and want me to kiss/hug them."

"I want to ask Tav for a kiss or a hug, but my primal brain keeps telling me they might demand more than I want to give in return for it. But if they ask, I have the power of negotiating the outcome."

This leads me to believe he would view sex and affection very differently as well.

Where most find affection safe and nurturing, it's anxiety educing and unsafe. It means there are feelings and if there are feelings there is the risk and fear of rejection or judgment. It's much scarier.

Where most find sex to be connecting and intimate, it's been used so much it's lost any meaning. Something you can do a thousand times over and walk away the second it's done and feel nothing afterward.

This may even be a part of the reason why he wants to stop having sex.

He wants to connect with you in ways denied to him. He wants the experience of being courted, treasured, nurtured. It means so much more to him than sex. It is so much more connecting.

Feeling this way is wretched and lonely. The most basic instinct is to want to seek comfort in the arms of those who love us. But it's broken. The risk is too great.

And it's hard. Because you could be the sweetest most honorable Tav in the whole of Fearun. But after being fed poised apples one too many times, all apples appear poisonous regardless of if is true or not.

I have no doubt that this prickly elf soaks up every second of non sexual affection you give him. And truly is grateful for your patience while he slowly and carefully disarms the safety measures he put in place to survive. The fact that he even allowed you to touch him like that at all was a monumental act of trust. And why not? You are incredible after all.

I'm going to go ask my elf for a kiss now. And then cry in my cup.

[wordsinhaled]

The things Charles touches in Hell

Everyone run and look at @qwanderer's amazing gifset of the things Charles touches in hell that inspired this meta!!!!

TL;DR Charles' journey to get Edwin is not just retracing Edwin's steps following the maps in the notebook but also on some level specifically reflects the doubts Charles holds about his own capacity to be a good person (and, extrapolating from Edwin's confession, a worthy romantic partner for Edwin in the future). Everything Charles touches in Hell (the mirror in Limbo, the bell, the lock, the claw machine + Maxine grabbing him on the stairs) is designed to sow doubt in Charles - incidentally, much like Orpheus experiences doubt on the journey out of Hell with Eurydice.

-

The mirror

The mirror shows Charles his reflection, which he hasn't been able to see since he died. Jayden said in a Cameo that when he acted in this moment he was embodying Charles giving himself a pep talk about saving Edwin - so he's thinking about whether he is different enough from his father to be able to pull off this rescue, whether he's capable of it.

The mirror also reminds him that, being corporeal in Hell, he doesn't have the capacity to mirror-hop to Edwin, which would have been the easiest way to get to him. It's a tool he'd have had as an incorporeal ghost, a tool that he lacks in Hell. The mirror highlights Charles's need to be Useful to his loved ones and the doubt that if he isn't capable of being useful (especially in rescuing/protecting them), he isn't loveable. Later he says to Edwin "Well, I'm here now," and is able to use the tools in the bag of tricks to distract the doll spider and get Edwin to safety.

And though I don't think Charles is as consciously aware of this bit, the mirror's also a bit of a metaphor for Charles' people-pleasing and how Charles effaces himself in favor of his loved ones. Charles isn't able to be seen in reflections normally, as a ghost, just as he puts the comfort and mood of others above showing his authentic feelings/frustrations, so he isn't "seen" in those relationships. In the mirror in Hell, he can see himself, for the first time in over three decades, and it echoes a fear/doubt that if he shows up fully present in a relationship, romantic or otherwise, he will take up too much space for himself, or people won't like what the see when he is visible.

The bell

The bell speaks to Charles's doubts about impulsivity and its unintended negative consequences. Charles' on-the-spot impulsive decisions are a theme throughout the show - he identifies himself as "the one who does shit like this" in the pilot when possessing Esther. And he compensates for or offsets these things really successfully with resourceful thinking (see: the enchanted jar to replace the sprites' smashed vessel, etc.), and his quick thinking is a huge strength. But the bell here is an example to Charles of a time his impulsivity hurt others, even without him realizing.

Charles and Edwin have an exchange about it: "What about the bell?" "No - it hurts them." Charles experiences direct proof that his impulsive action caused harm to others that he can't fix or soothe, and this moment leads directly into Charles slowing down to take time to process/figure out his feelings for Edwin during the staircase confession rather than impulsively saying he was in love back right away. The bell reflects his fear of how his impulsivity could be a hurdle or liability in his relationships. The bell can also represent the fear that even something that typically makes Charles an asset to Edwin, a strength or a positive, can become something harmful if Charles isn't careful. It's the doubt that Charles' quick thinking, which complements Edwin's more regimented nature and desire to always "have a proper plan in place," could have an unintended harmful shadow side if Charles allows it to, so that he can't trust himself.

Also, the ringing of the bell that is meant to summon someone, much like the mirror, also speaks to Charles' desires to take up space and be perceived by others, and ties back to his doubt that he might take up too much space in a dynamic with someone else. Charles has missed being visible and living, wished to be "seen by someone his own age who's alive." The 'attention' piece might reflect Charles' occasional showiness - which became comfortable over years with Edwin, but which while alive he probably used to associate with negative consequences for himself for taking up 'too much space' or otherwise putting himself in a position where his dad or his peers would 'cut him down to size,' so to speak.

The ringing of the bell at a counter is, in theory, used to seek attention or service from someone, which would also mean Charles knowing what he wants in order to ask for it - and, in a relationship, being able to articulate his desires and needs. It would mean Charles subverting his usual way of being where he makes sure others have everything they need, to prioritize his own wants and needs. It represents his doubt of his ability to be vulnerable in a relationship.

The lock

Irene's phrasing "manipulate for access" about the lock got me thinking about the idea of Charles being able to pick any lock, having confidence in his ability to do so, and even others having confidence in his skill at it ("Big lock" "I'm sure you can open it"). It parallels Charles being good with people, being the one who "everyone likes […] eventually" because he's a "good sort of chap" - but also makes me think it reflects a fear that others will be taken in by the façade of affability he takes care to put on for others' comfort, and make themselves vulnerable to him only for him to hurt them. The classic sort of not-wanting-to-continue-the-cycle-of-abuse type fears.

The bell also highlights Charles's differences from David (who Crystal says "must have lied to [her]" to get her to "let him in" to possess her, as Edwin put it in that same scene). Charles doesn't actually manipulate people for access to their bodies, but it calls back to the doubts he experiences in 'The Case of the Two Dead Dragons' about being compared to Crystal's ex/Brad and Hunter in how they exploited women. The lock also speaks to the doubt that once he has actually gotten someone to like him, or if he were to enter into a relationship with Edwin, they're only there because they've been 'taken in.' Charles knows how to be a "cute distraction" to others or a temporary fling, he doesn't think people should be let in to see the dark emotions at the depths of him that he suppresses. The lock is a bit tied into the claw machine, I think.

The claw machine

The claw machine is associated with grabbing prizes and reflects Charles' self-doubt in general and the ways he seeks praise. It speaks to his issues with feeling fundamentally deserving of love and the fear/doubt that he doesn't actually deserve the "prizes" he gets (being praised by others, or receiving Edwin's love without any expectations or conditions).

It's also a game, and in those types of claw games there's usually a lot of maneuvering the claw, trying over and over and failing to grab the prize, "falling short" if you will, even despite having skill at the game; the prize might slip free and be lost, etc. - much like how Charles always felt he was falling short of his dad and never reaching making him happy/proud ("no matter how nice I was, or how good at sports I was"). When it comes to Charles + games: Cricket was a game Charles excelled at and yet never quite made the mark of his father's approval no matter how many trophies he got, etc.

The claw machine can also be a metaphor for the cycle of abuse. It speaks to the idea that Charles was caught up in a sort of 'rigged game' - an endless cycle of abuse in which his abusers held physical, emotional, social, or systemic power over him and he would inevitably end up 'losing' the game with its uncertain rules and would be hurt (by his dad/his peers or by society). While alive he was playing the assimilation/likeability game with his friends for the prize of feeling belonging, only for them to turn out to be the ones to kill him.

(Notably, the way out that Edwin ended up taking was a hole smashed in the wall behind the claw machine, bypassing the game entirely - and Charles retraces the path Edwin took. This shows how Charles doesn't need to actually keep trying and failing to reach an unattainable/shifting goalpost in order to be loved unconditionally or be deserving of love. It also foreshadows he can take a different path that would break the cycle of abuse, that indeed he is already breaking it.)

+ Maxine

Bonus, since this one touched him and not vice versa - Maxine grabbing Charles on the stairs and knocking him off-balance. In life Maxine was a stalker, an abusive person who was invasive towards and controlling towards her romantic interest. Ultimately she became physically violent and tried to kill Jenny. This has been spoken on in other metas, but much like the Devlin House reflected his fears of becoming like his dad, Charles encountering Maxine on the stairs reflects Charles' basic fears of continuing the cycle of abuse in a romantic relationship and emotionally or physically hurting his partner by being overbearing/controlling/violent. Maxine being present on the staircase during the confession also underscores this doubt in Charles.

[ponyosmom35]

Simon Says

Simon Ghost Riley x reader smut

Liability series!

synopsis: it's Simon's birthday and he wants to play a game

warnings: SMUT, oral (f receiving), face sitting, backshots, p in v

MDNI

Link to master list:

https://www.tumblr.com/ponyosmom35/733401347573088256/simon-ghost-riley?source=share

MDNI

“There you are, I’ve been waiting”

She chuckled, a mischievous glint in her eyes. "And why is that, handsome?"

Ghost chuckled, crossing the room to stand in front of her. "Well, I have a little game I'd like to play with you," he said, his voice dropping to a low whisper.

“What is it?”

He smirked, his eyes locked on hers. "It's a little game called Simon Says. You ever played?"

Her body stills as a blush moves over her face and neck. Shivers run down her spine and she doesn’t look into his eyes. 

He notices her reaction, the way her body stills and her face flushes. He can see the effect his words have on her, and it makes his heart race.

He steps closer, his hand coming up to gently tilt her chin up so that she's forced to look at him. "I take it you've played," he says, his voice gruff and amused.

“Once or twice” she says quietly 

He smirks, his hand still on her chin. "I thought so," he says, his voice a low rumble. 

He steps even closer, his body almost pressed against hers. "You like it when I tell you what to do, don't you?" he murmurs, his breath warm against her ear.

He notices the way her hands grip his arms, her fingers digging in slightly. It's like she can't help herself, like she needs something to hold onto.

He grins, his hands moving to rest on her hips, pulling her even closer. "You're not saying much," he says, his voice teasing. "Cat got your tongue?"

“Please” she whispers weakly, her body was on fire and he’d barley touched her. The pulsing between her legs was nearly too much to handle. 

He feels a surge of desire go through him as her words reach his ears. He can tell how much she wants this, how much she's affected by his words.

He leans in close, his lips hovering just millimeters from her ear. "Please what?" he asks, his voice low and raspy.

“Please touch me Si” she says 

He grins, his body thrumming with desire at her words. He knew she wanted him, just as much as he wanted her. But he wasn't going to give in that easily. He shakes his head, his hands still resting on her hips. "Oh no, sweetheart. We're playing by my rules. And you don't get what you want until I say so."

The air crackles with electricity as they begin to play Simon Says. Ghost's voice is commanding and firm, with a hint of menace that sets her blood ablaze.

"Simon says, put your hair down," he orders, his eyes watching her intently. He stares hungrily as she takes the ponytail out of her hair, his eyes following the waterfall of hair as it cascades down her body.

"Good girl," he says, his voice rough with desire. "Now Simon says, take off your shirt."

He watches as she obeys, his eyes fixed on her as she strips off her shirt to reveal her bare skin. He feels a surge of desire go through him at the sight, the primal need to touch and possess her almost overwhelming.

"Beautiful," he growls, his eyes roving over her body. "You're being such a good girl for me."

He steps closer, his body now almost pressed against hers. He reaches out and runs his fingers down her bare skin, enjoying the shiver that runs through her at his touch.

His mouth is right by her ear as he speaks, his voice a gravelly whisper. "Now Simon says, take off your pants," he orders, his hand snaking around to the small of her back.

He feels her shiver under his touch, her body responding to his command in all the right ways. He can see the flush of arousal on her cheeks, the way her breathing has become ragged with desire.

He leans in even closer, his lips brushing against her earlobe as he whispers, “simon says, kiss me”

He grins, his lips hovering just millimeters from hers. He knows how badly she wants this, how desperate she is for his touch. As their lips meet, it's like a spark igniting a flame inside them both. He kisses her fiercely, his hands roaming over her bare skin, exploring every inch of her body. He deepens the kiss, his tongue delving into her mouth, tasting and claiming her. He can feel her respond to his touch, her body arching into his.He pulls her even closer, his hands gripping her hips tightly. He can feel her body trembling beneath his touch, the evidence of her desire seeping through her.

"You're doing so good," he murmurs as he kisses a trail down her neck, his mouth leaving small marks on her skin. 

“Si” she whimpers, desperate for more

He smiles against her neck as she whines his name, the sound sending a shiver down his spine.

"Yes, sweetheart?" he asks, his mouth moving down to her collarbone, leaving a trail of kisses in its wake. "You want something else?"

He chuckles as he feels her trying to get closer to him, her tiny frame no match for his 6'4 stature.

"Eager, are we?" he teases, his arms encircling her waist and pulling her flush against him. "You're too small to reach me, love."

She huffs in annoyance and pulls back.

He grins down at her, his hands still resting on her waist. "Don't pout, sweetheart," he says, his voice teasing. "It's not my fault you're so tiny."

He lifts her up with ease, his strong hands holding her effortlessly. She wraps her legs around his waist, her arms snaking around his neck as he holds her against him. He smiles, his eyes dancing with amusement and desire.

 "Much better," he says, his voice rough with need. He holds her against him, his arms wrapped firmly around her, their bodies pressed together intimately. 

"You feel good like this," he murmurs, his lips brushing against her neck. "Sitting in my arms, all wrapped up. It's like you were made for me."

His lips find hers once more, devouring her like a man starved. His tongue explores her mouth, tangling with hers in a desperate dance. His hands roam over her body, touching and claiming her like she's his to possess. 

He smirks against her lips as he feels her moan against him, the sound sending a thrill through him.

"I love the sounds you make," he huskily whispers, his hands moving to her thighs. 

He chuckles as she whimpers as he sets her down, her body clearly eager for more.

"Patience, sweetheart," he says, his voice gruff. "We're playing my game, remember?"

He lies down on the bed, his eyes watching her intently as he continues.

"Simon says, take off my shirt."

He watches as she slips off his shirt, her small fingers running over his chest. He feels her exploring him, her touch sending shivers down his spine.

"Good," he murmurs, his eyes locked on her. "Now Simon says, take off the rest of my clothes."

“You’re beautiful” she says 

He grins as she calls him beautiful, the way she's looking at him making his chest swell with possessive desire. He leans back against the pillows, letting her take in the sight of his bare body.

"You like what you see, sweetheart?" he asks, his voice a low rumble.

“Si” she whimpers

He feels a surge of desire go through him as she whimpers his name. He reaches out and pulls her onto the bed beside him, her body flush against his.

"I can tell," he says, his hands roaming over her body. "You're practically trembling with need."

He places his hands on her hips, bringing her closer to his throbbing dick. Both of them moaned at the feeling after all of this buildup. She closes her eyes as her hands reach for his neck, pulling him closer as she breathes heavily. She wraps her arms around his neck, pressing her large boobs against his bare chest,  not wanting to waste any more time as she grinds against him. He growls at the feeling and grips her hips tighter. 

“Not yet love” he says holding her still

She looks at him as though she could cry and he places a hand on her jaw, stroking her cheek gently. “Simon says, sit on my face”

Her lustful eyes widen as she snaps out of whatever trance he’d had her in and she pulls back slightly. He can see the hesitance in her eyes as she pulls back slightly, her expression one of uncertainty. He knows he's just thrown a curveball, but he's been wanting this for a while now.

He sits up, resting on his elbows as he looks up at her. "What's wrong?" he asks, his voice gentle but firm.

“I don’t know Si- I don’t want to make this about me”

He reaches out, his hand grasping her wrist and pulling her closer.

"Sweetheart, it's my birthday, and I want you to do this for me," he says, his voice leaving no room for argument.

"I want to taste you," he says, his fingers tracing a path up her arm. "To feel you quivering for my touch."

“I’m too heavy” she shakes her head

He lets out a deep, guttural chuckle at her words.

"Too heavy? Sweetheart, I can lift 300 pounds. You're not going to hurt me," he says, his hand moving to grip her hip, pulling her onto his lap. “I want to feel you, all of you."

“Si I don’t wanna hurt you”

He chuckles, shaking his head in amusement. "You couldn't hurt me if you tried."

He pulls her closer, his other hand resting on her hip. "I can handle you”

He rolls his eyes, his patience starting to wear thin. "You're not going to hurt me," he says, his voice firm.

 "I've been in war zones, sweetheart. I've taken bullets and bombs, and you think you're gonna hurt me by sitting on my face?"

He pulls her towards him, his hands gripping her wrists and tugging her onto the bed. “If anything this is a reward for my service” 

He lays back against the pillows, his hands resting on her thighs. He looks up at her with an expression of hunger and desire. 

"That's it," he says, his voice rough with need. He could feel her body shaking as she hovered above him.

"Just relax, sweetheart. I'll take care of you."

She exhales at the feeling of his gentle caress on her hips. She allows him to pull her down, and she breathes heavily as he begins placing kisses on her inner thigh. He notices her hovering above him and grows tired of waiting, he pulls her down to hit flush on his face and begins devouring her. She gasps sharply as pleasure shoots through her body. Her core tightened at the intensity. 

Simon keeps a tight grip on her thighs and continues his starved man assault on her pussy. Her body shakes and convulses as she reaches for the bedframe, desperate for something to hold onto. After another minute she’s whimpering, feeling herself getting closer to her high when he taps on her thigh. She sits up in an instant and looks down at him in concern. His face was slightly red and evidence of her excitement was all over his face. He smirks up at her and grabs her torso, he lifts her slams her back against the bed of their massive California king mattres. He pushes her forward, so her head was on top of the storage seating at the end of their bed and lays on his stomach. 

Before she had time to react he dives back in between her thighs, determined to finish his favorite meal. She arches her back, mewling in pleasure as her core begins to heat up. The lewd sounds of his mouth on her bring her close. He keeps her thighs tight in his grip as she arches off of the bed, body spasming uncontrollably. Tears fill her eyes as her body tightens continuously and her pleasure builds and builds until that familiar coil snaps. Her orgasm shoots through her as her body falls limp against him. She closes her eyes in ecstasy as Simon gently swirls his finger around her clit. She whines as she grows overstimulated and he chuckles. 

Simon wipes his mouth and crawls over to her, pinning her beneath him once more. He slams his lips against hers, staying like that for several moments before he pulls away. 

“You’ve done so good for me baby” he whispers in her ear “but we’re not done yet”

He sits up and stands tall, looking down at her menacingly. “Simon says, turn around”

“Si” she whipmers 

"I said turn around" he repeats, the girl breathes heavily and moves so that her ass was facing him and stares at the wall in anticipation. His hands grip her and pull her back to the edge of the bed, he caresses the skin before placing his hand on her back and forcing her face down into the sheets, her ass now up in the air. She breathes out in shock and grips the sheets as he rubs her folds with his hardened penis. 

"what do you want?" he asks gripping her ass in his hands as he continues to tease her, the girl's breath quickens and her throat tightens. She does not respond and he pulls back from her and leans down to her ear.

"I asked you a question, what do you want?"

"you" she says softly

"good girl" he smirks moving back up to his spot behind her. Simon aligns himself with her entrance and slowly pushes himself inside of her, she tenses at the slight pain and he stop allowing her to get used to his length. After a few moments he begins to go faster and grips her hips pushing them against his own as he moves in and out, She moans as he hits her in all the right places and arches her back. She'd never felt better. 

"does it feel good?" he asks in a horse voice 

"yes" she squeaks out, he takes that opportunity to quicken his pace once more and begins ramming into her. She moans loudly and grips onto the comforter beneath her for support as he absolutely rails her. 

"you feel so fucking good baby" he says. He continues moving against her roughly for what felt like hours, but in reality was most likely a half hour. Her legs were shaking and her body was tired as he begins to slow down, his thrusts becoming sloppy. 

He could feel her tightening against him and he knew that she was right there with him. Her moans grow higher pitched as he reaches between her legs and rubs fast circles against her clit, making her nearly scream as tears fall down her face. She moves her body pressing her ass further into him, shaking madly. He grits his teeth and grips her ass tightly. She inhales sharply as she finishes, her body easing into the mattress, her grip on the sheets lose as she works through it. 

"I'm close" he says, the girl lifts her face up from the sheets and whimpers as he thrusts into hard one last time before pulling out and finishing on her back. She remains in her spot, tired and unable to move as he quickly rushes to her bathroom and gets toilet paper to clean her up. He returns and wipes the liquid off of her and she sits up staring at him happily. 

"How do you feel love?" he asks seriously 

“Good” she rasps “I love your birthday” 

He chuckles loudly and wraps his arm around her, pulling her body flush against him as they law wrapped in each other’s arms. Basking in one another’s love as he whispers praises in her ear

 “You did so well”

“Always so perfect for me”

“I love you so much sweetheart”

[on-a-lucky-tide]

I ken she isn't a character you typically focus on, but my curiosity is biting ma baws so I may as well ask just in case.

What do you think of the dynamic between Kate and John? And possibly the dynamic between her and Nikolai. Apologies, I ken there's about a bawhair of dialogue to work with on Kate and Nik but you're smart and I'd trust that if you do have an answer, then it'd intrigue me.

If you don't, fair enough, I completely get why. I'm just, to my core, a nosey bugger. And I fear an obvious one because Christ, the way I type isn't subtle and it really fucks the anonymity bit of this, I just cannae be fucked asking on my main blog.

I think their dynamic is pretty great but obviously complicated by the fact they're working for, and loyal to, different nations. Until very recently, UK and US geopolitics has been pretty aligned. I think John and Kate, if they existed today, would be struggling like fuck with how the rest of the world is turning its back on the US. All of Kate's avenues of information are being cut, MI5 and MI6 view the US as a liability, etc.

But, anyways, in fiction! First meeting and I think Kate probably thought "aw an upstart baby", because Baby Price with his shaven chin and serious eyes probably looked comical to someone who had a twelve year headstart on him. And then he proved himself to be a truly formidable operator, she realised she needed to build a strong link; he was clearly brilliantly intelligent and also gay as fuck ("aw repressed gay murder kitten").

It started off as a relationship of necessity. Then they shared a whiskey and a smoke after a particularly grizzly op, and it snowballed into actual friendship. John did wacky shit like use a gorilla costume as a decoy, and wasn't afraid to bend, and sometimes completely break, the rules. She liked that. He's smart, witty, funny, and so is she. If he was a woman, he'd be her wife. Luckily, she found someone just as good, but without John's temper and fixation on duty (read: someone healthier), so he gets "best friend" instead.

It's still characterised by their roles though. Sometimes Kate has to keep things from John and she hates it. But it's just the way it is. She hates it when their mission objectives don't align, she hates it when she can't provide him all the intel because she just doesn't know, and the fact that he'll go in anyway... Sometimes she wants to choke him with her bare hands. She'll take his growls and his snarls when he's frustrated because she knows it's coming from a place of deeply seated duty, an honour code that pushes him constantly forwards.

John is loyal to Laswell as much as you can be to a foreign agent; again, there are just some things he needs to keep to himself. He'll go in and risk his neck to save her arse. He respects her highly, would follow her into the maw of hell if needed. Over the years, he's started to see her and her wife as part of his extended family. I think he's probably slept on their couch while injured a few times. I wrote "Kicked Into Touch" initially because I wanted to write that domestic time between them. John values Laswell's opinion of him and he enjoys sharing hobbies/time with her outside of work. He's been to BBQs, the occasional family function; she'll likely officiate his wedding to Nikolai.

Speaking of Nik, I think Laswell adores him and him her, even though he finds her exasperating. "Why do you want to go there you crazy woman, what is--fine." He doesn't understand the American mind, probably finds it more than occasionally frustrating, but he knows Laswell is good and just, working within a straight jacket as best she can. She's not your standard, cookie cutter capitalist. She finds him eccentric but brilliant. She knows she can count on him to achieve the impossible in most situations; acquiring specific weapons, flying into hostile territory, accessing the inaccessible meetings and gangs. Nik is one of her greatest assets.

It was Laswell that gave MI6 the idea to use John to get Nik to turn. She had known Nik for a while by that point as a potential informant but her guys had failed to entice him over. Their offers just weren't hitting the mark; he didn't trust them. She had enough intel to know he was gay, and in an exceptionally vulnerable situation, so she had to play it carefully. Honeypotting him outright was cruel and it would only damage the working relationship later on. She needed someone that sat in the niche of hot and interesting, but not a blatant appeal to his prick.

She told MI6 to put Baby Blue himself right in Nik's path; intense, honest, brave and handsome in a unique, roguish kind of way. Laswell knew the way John spoke, the way he carried himself, his expressive face, would hook their Russian in. So when Price turned to Nik in the bar and said, "Come work with me, Nikolai. We'll change the world", Nik damn well believed him.

[carnalcrows]

YANDERE GANGSTER

☆ name: Felix Marino (Феликс Марино | Félix Marino) → "Fortunate and Of the Sea"

☆ ethnicity : Italian-American

☆ age : 34

☆ gender : Male

☆ mbti : INTJ

☆ his story : [click to proceed]

Once just a regular blue-collar worker with a simple dream—build a good life for his wife and their unborn daughter. But fate had other plans. A tragic misunderstanding led to his wife's brutal murder at the hands of a gang seeking revenge for a crime he never committed. Grief turned into vengeance, and vengeance turned into power. One by one, he eliminated those responsible, leaving no stone unturned, no soul spared. But revenge wasn’t enough—it never is. By the time the dust settled, he had built an empire from the ashes of his pain. Now, he rules one of the most feared mafia syndicates in the world, his name whispered in both reverence and terror.

He’s a ghost of the man he used to be, his heart long buried with his wife. He tells himself love is no longer for him—his wife would have hated the monster he’s become. But in a world of blood and betrayal, the past has a way of creeping back in when least expected.

☆ appearance:

Dark brown hair, always neatly styled but never too perfect—like he doesn’t care, but somehow, it still looks effortless.

Dark green eyes with brown flecks, almost black in the shadows, but strikingly green in the sunlight—if he ever lets himself stand in it.

6'2" with a lean but powerful build—every move he makes is calculated, every step, deliberate.

A face that looks carved from stone—strong jawline, sharp cheekbones, an expression that rarely changes.

Wears expensive but understated suits, always in dark colors—nothing flashy, just powerful.

Tattoos: His wife's name on one wrist, their unborn daughter’s name on the other, the only softness left in him. He has various other tattoos of flowers and snakes running down his arms and his back.

☆ personality:

Cold, calculating, and terrifyingly efficient—he doesn’t waste words or emotions.

A master of control—of himself, of his enemies, of the entire underworld.

Speaks in a quiet, measured tone, but when he gives an order, it’s absolute.

Loyalty is sacred to him—betrayal is met with ruthless consequences.

His patience is legendary, but once it runs out, there’s no going back.

Haunted by his past but refuses to show it—his grief is a private wound, one that never truly heals.

Believes emotions are a liability, yet can't fully extinguish the ghost of the man he used to be.

☆ with a lover:

He doesn’t do casual—if he lets someone in, it’s serious, but that’s a rare occurrence.

Overprotective to a dangerous degree—if you’re his, no one touches you. Period.

Doesn’t believe he’s capable of love anymore, but if it happens, it’ll be deep, intense, and consuming.

Shows love in subtle ways—protecting, providing, making sure you’re safe before you even realize you’re in danger.

Will never say "I love you" easily, but his actions will speak louder than any words ever could.

Doesn't do jealousy—he does ownership. If you're his, he makes sure you know it.

☆ strengths:

Unmatched strategic mind—he sees five moves ahead at all times.

Ice-cold under pressure—he never panics, never loses control.

Deadly with both words and weapons—he can end someone with either.

Inspires fear and loyalty in equal measure—his presence alone is enough to command a room.

Never forgets a debt—whether he owes one or is collecting one.

☆ weaknesses:

His past—no matter how much he buries it, it never truly stays dead.

Love—he tells himself he’s incapable, but if he ever lets someone in, they’d become his greatest weakness.

His wife's memory—she is both his strength and his curse, the one thing that can still make him hesitate.

He doesn't know when to stop—revenge, power, control—he always wants more.

Has built his empire alone and trusts almost no one—loneliness is his own prison.

☆ relationships:

Wife (deceased): The only woman he ever loved, the only person who ever made him truly happy. Her memory haunts him, and he wonders if she’d still recognize him now.

Unborn Daughter (deceased): A life that never got to begin, but one he still mourns every single day.

Right-Hand Man: The only person he trusts, the only one who dares to speak freely in his presence.

Enemies: Too many to count, but they all share the same fear—crossing him means death.

Potential Love Interest: If someone ever manages to break through his walls, they’ll find a man who is both terrifying and deeply, painfully human.

☆ extra:

Speaks fluent Italian, English, Russian and a handful of other languages (for business reasons).

Has a soft spot for old jazz and classical music—not that anyone would dare comment on it.

Never lets anyone see his wrists uncovered—those tattoos are the only vulnerability he has left.

Keeps a single photograph of his wife tucked inside his wallet. No one has ever seen him look at it.

[abbysimsfun]

Sims In Bloom: Generation 2 Pt. 146 (Rafa Confronts His Sister)

Conrad made his way to Brindleton Prison after work, smiling when he found Rafa waiting in one of the interrogation rooms. "Don't take this the wrong way, but you look great for someone who's spent the last few months in prison."

"Thanks for being here while I face her." Rafa forced a smile. "I know I asked for this meeting, but I've been dreading it. Can't call Mel because we still don't have a phone. Other than you and my lawyer, there's not many people I want to talk to, especially in prison."

"Speaking of Felix, he'll be down soon. Lilith called to say she finally found a copy of Theoretical Electronics by Nikolai Volt, or something. It's about time travel."

"They're really going to do it? Jump through time just like Marco."

"That's their plan, but I don't think their plan includes trying to get themselves killed."

Rafa frowned. "I don't regret what I had to do, but I knew Marco, you know? I never thought I'd end up killing him."

"You didn't get him killed. He was working for Ximena, doing what she wanted him to do."

He nodded slowly. "But we changed things, right? Now she'll be in prison for forty years and won't get out to chase time travellers?"

"Chase who?"

Their stomachs dropped as the door to the interrogation room opened. Ximena had always moved quietly, which helped her get away with so much for so long. Conrad pushed his shoulders back. "No one. It's a joke. You've probably watched the news since you've been in here."

Ximena shrugged. "Why watch what's going on in a world I'm locked away from?"

"You deserve to be in here just as much as I deserve to be behind bars in San Myshuno," said Rafa sternly.

Ximena glanced at the brother she raised from the time he was small, but a coldness burned from her amber eyes unlike any look she'd ever given him. "Aren't you looking for a plea deal?"

Rafa turned to Conrad with a frown. "Could you leave us? I know the room is recording us, but what I want to say, I need to focus on her."

"On me?" Ximena scoffed. "You betrayed me!"

"You betrayed him, Ximena."

With the last word, Conrad left them in the room, greeting Felix next door in the observation room. They watched as Rafa and Ximena took seats across from one another at the small table, listening to the speakers pouring their conversation through the walls.

"Why did you have Jimmy killed?"

"That's not even what I'm in here for. You told them about the BriteU job that got those freshmen killed. And the cartel won't be happy when they learn you gave up half their weapons stockpile in San Myshuno."

"They can get more guns. And what do you know about the cartel these days? They dropped you, Ximena. They left you in here with no one to rescue you this time. Because you killed Jimmy."

"He was no one. He only meant something to me, and I got what I needed before he talked to the cops. He was a liability. I did what the cartel does with liabilities."

"I followed you for years even as you got more and more erratic. I was too young to say no to you and you knew it. You took advantage of me."

"I was protecting you," she insisted. "If you weren't in with the cartel, as close as you were to me? They would have killed you."

"I just wanted to live a normal life and be a normal kid."

Her stare bared no obvious emotion. "We both wanted that, Rafa."

"I'm sorry I kept you in here, but I'm not sorry. I hope you understand that."

Her eyes narrowed into slits and she glared at him with vengeance. "I'll never understand you, Rafa. I'd curse you myself, if I ever believed any of that old witch magic from Selva."

Inside the observation room, Felix and Conrad were growing uncomfortable as the Bonillas confrontation escalated, interrupted when the San Myshuno detective who'd escorted Rafa to Brindleton Prison walked in with his phone out.

"I just got off the phone with the judge," he announced. "She accepted Rafa's plea and he'll be released as soon as next week."

Rafa scoffed in the next room. "Fine. Curse me. But you lost me, Ximena. Remember that."

Ximena jumped up and raised her hands to her face in anger. "I didn't lose you, Rafa. I know exactly where you stand. You chose to stand against your own flesh and blood, who raised you when the world would have let you die, and as long as I live I'll make you regret it."

"I only regret everything I did because you encouraged me."

"I regret saving you from Selva. I should have left you there and run away on my own."

Conrad walked back inside the room followed by Felix, breaking up Ximena and Rafa once and for all. "I think you've both said more than enough."

Guards took Ximena back to her cell, leaving Rafa to cool down with his attorney and Conrad, the man who cared for him like a brother. "Are you alright?"

"I'll be fine." Rafa pushed back his shoulders. "Tell the detective I want to go back now."

"No problem," said Conrad. "But Felix and I want to talk to you first."

"The judge called while Ximena was in here," said Felix. "She accepted your plea. It'll take the paperwork less than a week to be processed because I'm the one who's going to do it, but once the county rubberstamps everything, you'll be a free man!"

"Are you serious?"

"As serious as death from a laughing fit!"

Rafa glanced between them in disbelief as weight lifted from Conrad's shoulders. He looked away, composing himself. Ximena was behind bars and Rafa was a free man; the saga of the Bonillas was supposed to end this way. Ximena was out of his life for decades, at least, but he wouldn't let reconnecting with Rafa go to waste.

"Promise me you and Melissa will move into a real place and get out of the abandoned ship. You don't need to hide anymore."

"Ximena's right that the cartel might still try to find me," admitted Rafa. "But I can take care of myself. Melissa, too."

Felix nodded plainly. "I'm quite sure that's true. But let's hope you'll never get the chance to show how good you are. For their sake."

The attorney sensed Rafa wanted a minute alone with Conrad, excusing himself with a smile. "I think I'll get started on that paperwork now!"

When the men were alone, Rafa looked ominously at Conrad. "Can you turn the mics off?"

Conrad nodded, flipping a switch on the desk lamp as he waited for Rafa to speak.

"I didn't tell you everything Marco told me before he died. I didn't know how to say this in front of everyone, but he told me Ash... In the future, people feared and followed him. He said, 'You don't know what he's capable of.'"

"Ash will barely be twenty in a little over a decade," shot back Conrad. "You met him. He loves homework and his sisters - how dangerous could he be?"

Rafa shrugged. "He didn't say how before we got back to the shack. But we can hope we changed enough that he won't be dangerous now. Right?"

Conrad nodded, refusing to believe anything different about the boy he loved as a son. But he went home that night wondering how to tell Heather, while Rafa was soon released from prison in San Myshuno.

With his newfound freedom, he returned to Melissa in Sulani. Elated and in love they made up for time apart, finally free to build a life together. ->

<- Previous Chapter | Gen 2 Start | Gen 2.1 Summary

Gen 1 Start | Gen 1 Summary

WCIF Poses: Ximena and Rafa posed in conversation at the table using @herecirmsims' Desk Conversations. Dimensions not quite right but I'm pretending Ximena sat backwards in her chair because I wanted the positioning and expressions, and Rafa fit! Rafa and Melissa are posed on the beach with @simmerberlin's The Kiss posepack, looking adorably carefree before their waterfall romp!

[finisnihil]

Hello pookies let’s talk about Aventurine and Topaz

Penacony spoilers+Analysis ahead

Let’s start off the bat, I personally like Aventurine more than Topaz and the main reason is because Topaz willingly works for the IPC while Aventurine doesn’t. Some people have pointed out in other posts of mine that Topaz didn’t voluntarily join the IPC. Her planet was dying and the IPC bought it, she joined because it was required of her, but here’s the difference. She chooses to stay.

She emphasizes in her talking with Bronya and the Trailblazer than she doesn’t stay with the IPC just because she has to or because she needs a paycheck. She stays because she likes working for them.

Also, she sees what was done to her planet as a good thing. In her eyes, the IPC saved her planet, in her eyes it isn’t exploitation. She tries to force the same thing on Jarilo-VI to the point she attacks the Astral Express for trying to stop her after Bronya declined the contract. She felt entitled to Jarilo-VI and when she was told no she ignored it. To her, the IPC are the best. It’s no wonder either, as far as we know she hasn’t seen the truly ugly side of the IPC yet because the IPC need her. In her character stories other IPC constantly hype her up, she’s a prodigy, she makes the IPC more efficient. She raises the success rate from 63% to above 80%. Even in her early days we see her breaking rules and getting away with it because the IPC value her too much to lose her.

They don't even question her calculations. Adding to this, when Aventurine is first introduced, it's after she's punished for her actions on Jarilo-VI.

He gives a lot of context about Topaz's power in the IPC. She "dodged a bullet there", implying she theoretically should've got a stronger punishment than being demoted a rank and losing some bonuses she's mentioned she doesn't care about. He even mentions that somebody is "looking out for her". Topaz has backing. He also mentions Jarilo-VI was a high-risk low-reward situation and that her "kind heart" was a liability. Topaz has the room to take on such cases and exercise her "kind heart" because she isn't at risk of losing everything if she screws up. There's little consequences to her actions, there's powerful people protecting her, and the IPC need her. Topaz can leave at any time, she choses not to because she likes the IPC. You see this power dynamic in her character trailer.

A throne is strong imagery and she's surrounded by money, the real representation of power in the IPC.

So let's talk about Aventurine and why I think he's interesting and why I like him more than Topaz.

Let's start with his power dyanmic within the IPC, or more so, his lack of one.

Aventurine has a serial number on his neck and Dr Ratio specifically calls him a "thrall". The term thrall in this context seems to imply he's a captive of some sort of the IPC*, to them he's a product. We can feel his lack of power in the way people talk to him.

Sparkle speaks to him in a super derogratory way and belittles him by implying he had to humiliate himself to influence Sunday. Meanwhile Dr Ratio writes him off as ruining everything before he gets to really do anything.

He gets power by gambling for it. Power is fleeting and he can lose it easier than most.

At one point he talks about how much money he loses wasting ten minutes. Ten minutes is nothing for Topaz but to Aventurine it's lost money and if he's not making the IPC money he's useless and viable to be cast aside. He can't afford it because he has no power. Compared to Topaz, he can't leave. He has less room for screw ups.

Onto friendship.

When friendship comes up, he keeps the idea at a distance. He asks how friends benefit him. Sparkle says he treats friends like bargaining chips and when he's talking with Dr Ratio he says that "Friends are weapons of Avgins". To him, friends are used for or against you.

He doesn't have any real friends, he's always on his own. He has no backing. He can't trust anybody because he's in such a vulnerable state and everyone around him looks down on him because of his heritage. Dr Ratio even tells him he causes too much trouble to have freinds, likening him to a peacock with a jarring call.**

Finally I want to analyze this conversation between him and Topaz. When asking for her help, he calls her old friend, implying he's planning to use her. The thing about Aventurine is that compared to Topaz, he's more ruthless because he has to be, he doesn't have the wiggle room she does, even Black Swan notes this saying he'll go to extreme lengths to maintain an advantage. Right now, that's what he's doing because he's being thrown to Penacony as a sacrifice. For the reasons above he seems to be the most expendable Stoneheart. He notes Penacony is a lost cause and Topaz is shocked that the mission isn't given to a higher ranking Stoneheart. He eggs Topaz into being his project manager with the idea she'll recover what she lost on Jarilo-VI. What he's really doing is using her to shield himself. With her involvement the IPC will be less likely to cut their loses with him, because they need Topaz and if he puts his eggs in her basket to care for they're less likely to be left to break by the IPC. If things go wrong he takes the blame… unless he has Topaz to sofen the blow. He's gambling on her power in their dynamic.

*My personal theory as of 2.0 is that the Sigonians and Avgins had a war and the IPC backed the Avgins for a benefit of their victory, assuring it. Aventurine was a captive or some sort of "war prize" hence the serial number and Dr Ratio calling him a thrall. It also explains the negative view of Sigonians and the very favorable view of Avgins among other lore we've gotten about it. I may do a seperate post of this theory.

**Sparkle and Dr Ratio liken Aventurine to a peacock frequently. Male peacocks use their feathers to attract the attention of female peacocks. This matches Aventurine's very flamboyant and charismatic character and his place in the story.

Feel free to add discussion, have a great day, mwah!

[missvelvetsstuff]

The Situation Room

Bucky Barnes x reader

Summary: After a mission almost gone wrong, Tony brings back Bucky's former assistant, who is also Bucky's ex. Can they work together without hurting each other? Will the whole truth about their break up finally come out?

Previous chapter

Maria looked at the floor "A background check was done by someone I thought I could trust but was apparently a double agent. When I did some digging I found that her real name is Emily Megan Pierce. I think Radar is in real trouble."

Chapter 11

Notes: I had this chapter half done on Monday and my mother in law passed early Tuesday morning so I've been helping my husband go thru her things and make funeral arrangements. I didn't think I'd finish this chapter but my insomnia decided to rear its head and here I am. We have a lot going on so idk when the next update will be but I've already started writing so hopefully not too long.

Warnings: swearing, angst

A week later the Avengers were still coming up empty in their search for Radar. Bucky and Maria had barely slept or eaten, both wracked with anxiety and guilt. They barely spoke except to go thru any leads they found and fight with each other over who was at fault. Each went from blaming the other to turning on themselves.

Bucky looked like Hell. Greasy hair, red rimmed eyes with dark circles. His face was gaunt from lack of food, he just couldn't eat it sleep no matter how he tried.

Maria was worse off since she had no enhancements. Every time she dozed off at the table in the situation room, she startled awake and downed more caffeine pills with a coffee chaser.

Nick Fury had been offsite for a few days, trying to connect with some of his informants to see if they had heard anything. When he arrived he was shocked to see the terrible shape they were in.

"Hill! Barnes! Get up and go to bed before I have a sedative administered and you're dragged back to your quarters."

His voice allowed no disagreement.

Maria clumsily stood up and shook her head "Boss, I can't. We have to find her." Her eyes filled with tears "She's, she was. Fuck" she wiped the tears away before they could fall. She held back a sob "I have to find her".

Nick grabbed her arms and ran his hands up to rub her shoulders, speaking softly "Maria. I know and we will find her but you're no good to me, to her, like this. You know there will likely be a fight to get her back and right now you would be a liability in a fight." He quickly hugged her. "Get something to eat and get some rest. I promise you'll be the first person notified when we get a lead."

He looked over at Bucky "I didn't forget you, Sargent. Go hit your rack and you'll be notified as soon as we have anything."

Bucky grumbled something but headed back to his room.

Fury sighed "Friday? Tell Rogers and Romanoff to come man the situation room while they sleep."

"Yes, Director Fury."

Two more weeks passed with no sign of Radar. There had been a couple of leads but they didn't pan out.

Bucky was feeling desperate. After being miserable for two years he had been hopeful, happy even and she was torn away from him.

After 6 long months the entire team was ready to give up but Bucky and Maria wouldn't stop. Both of them ended up being suspended because they couldn't focus on missions.

2 weeks after he was suspended, Bucky went to Radar's room, with flowers, as the sun was starting to rise. It was her birthday and he needed to feel closer to her. It was still dark in her room and he left the lights off, setting the flowers on her dresser and sitting on her bed.

He heard a yelp and jumped back up, shouting "Who the Hell are you? What are you doing in here?"

The lump mumbled and pushed the blanket down "What do you mean, Barnes? It's my room." She sat up "I know we've been getting along and all but letting yourself into my room without knocking is too much." She yawned "Besides, I'm sleepy. Come back after noon."

Bucky stared at her in shock then multiple questions rushed out "Y/N? When did you get back? Where have you been? Are you ok? What's going on?"

Radar yawned again "What are you talking about Barnes? I'm fine and haven't been anywhere. I dozed off after our talk and you carried me to bed." She looked up at him, confused "Didn't you? Maybe I was just too tired to remember coming to bed?"

Bucky couldn't speak for a moment, trying to figure out what she was saying "Y/N are you talking about the night you told me all about your past?"

Radar sighed "Yes, last night. What else would I be talking about?"

Bucky took a deep breath before speaking again "Doll, that was almost 7 months ago. Today is your birthday."

Radar scoffed "I don't think so Barnes, I'm not falling for your tricks. Was it Sam's idea?"

She climbed out of bed and put her robe on "I feel like I haven't slept at all and you have to come in with some prank."

Bucky stammered. "N n no no no, sweetheart, it it's not a joke. You went missing the morning after our talk. I've, I mean we we've been losing my I mean our minds trying to find you."

Radar shook her head "Seriously? Then why don't I remember anything after our talk last nite? I'm impressed with your commitment to the bit but I'm not buying it."

Bucky sighed "Fine, don't believe me. Friday, what day is it?"

Friday gave the date and that it was Radar's birthday.

Radar scowled at him "Then Tony's in on this too, he could have reprogrammed Friday to say that when you asked."

"Friday, when was Radar last in the compound"

Friday replied with the date Radar had disappeared including "6 months, 2 weeks and 3 days ago."

Radar sighed "Bucky, please. I'm too tired for this."

He grabbed her hand "Come on, I'll show you." And pulled her out of the room. She followed him into the hallway and towards the kitchen where she could hear the muted sound of people talking and moving around.

Radar saw Sam exit the kitchen and walk down the hall towards them, distracted by his phone until he ran into Bucky.

Sam looked up and smirked when he saw Bucky but his face dropped when he realized there was a woman who ran into Bucky's back when he stopped.

Sam looked back to Bucky and frowned "Who's your little friend here, Robocop?" When Radar pulled away from Bucky, Sam's jaw dropped "What the-" before his face broke into a huge smile as tears filled his eyes.

He reached for Radar to give her a hug and squeezed her tight "Holy shit, you're back. And in one piece. Damn, we've missed you."

Radar coughed and wheezed out "You're crushing me."

Sam let her go "I'm sorry but we thought we'd never see you again."

Radar shook her head and scowled at him "Of course you're in on this stupid prank. You just saw me yesterday. I haven't gone anywhere and I'm not falling for it."

Sam looked at Bucky with a question in his eyes "What is she talking about? What prank?"

Bucky shrugged "I went in her room to leave flowers for her birthday today, sat on her bed and there she was. Insisting that she never left. Thinks it's some elaborate prank since Friday confirmed what I told her. I thought seeing the rest of the team would convince her I was telling the truth."

Radar rolled her eyes "I have to give you both props for your commitment to the gag but I think I'd remember if I had left the compound or been kidnapped. So I'm still not buying it."

Bucky tried to calm her down "Ok, doll, calm down. Lets just get you some water and you can go back to bed, ok."

Radar shrugged "Whatever you want, I just need more sleep."

As they walked towards the kitchen, the voices became clearer. It was Steve and Nat joking around about some mission but Radar could feel that something was wrong, their voices had a sad lilt to them.

Steve looked past the breakfast bar and saw Bucky "Hey Buck, you want some eggs and bacon? I'm just getting started so can throw some extra in for you."

As Bucky came closer Steve saw someone behind him "Who do you have there? Is that Wanda? Does she want some food?"

Bucky stopped and pulled Radar out from behind him "What do you think, doll? Hungry for some eggs?"

Steve dropped the bowl he was mixing the eggs in, not even noticing when it hit the floor, broke and splashed eggs everywhere "Radar? When did you? But how? Where was?"

While Steve couldn't get a whole thought out, Nat jumped over the breakfast bar and pulled Radar into a hug. Nat started crying and babbling into Radar's shoulder "You're here, ohmygawd, you came back we thought-"

Radar interrupted "I know, I know, I was kidnapped and you thought I was dead or you'd never see me again. Damn, Nat, I'm disappointed, I didn't think you were into these dumb jokes that Sammy loves so much. I'm still not buying it."

Nat pulled back and looked at Radar, confused, then she turned to Bucky "What's she talking about?"

Bucky shrugged "Last thing she remembers is the night before she disappeared. She thinks we're playing a joke on her."

Radar shook her head "I'm impressed with your commitment to the gag but I'm supposed to believe I've just lost the last..." She turns to Bucky "what did you say today was?"

Bucky sighed "It's your birthday. You've been missing for over 6 months."

"Right. I've lost the last 6 plus months with zero memory. I mean really, would you believe it?"

Steve sighed "It's true but I think we need a team meeting. Friday, please call the team to the common room, asap. Fury and Hill too."

"Of course, Captain."

Radar walked into the kitchen and poured herself a cup of coffee, leaning against the counter as she sipped at it.

Multiple footsteps and voices came up the hall until Bruce and Wanda stopped in their tracks when they saw Radar.

Wanda squealed "Radar! You're back. Are you-"

Radar looked around at her friends with growing fear in her eyes "Ok guys, that's enough. You can let it go now, nice attempt to prank me but it's getting old."

Wanda looked at Bucky with questions in her eyes.

Radar heard Tony and Nick chatting in the other direction before they came into view and stopped dead when they saw her. They stared for a minute before looking at the team.

After a moment of tense silence Maria arrived and started crying as soon as she saw Radar "Radar? You're here? You're ok? I th, we thought you were-"

She couldn't keep talking as she sobbed and ran up to hug Radar.

Radar eyes grew wide and she went from nervous to terrified, knowing that Maria never took part in any of the teams pranks. She felt her knees buckle under her and Bucky barely caught her before she hit the floor. Nick grabbed Maria and walked her over to a chair.

Radar felt her heart racing and started hyperventilating, she tried to speak but couldn't catch her breath as Bucky whispered soothing words and rubbed her back. He helped her to the sofa and sat her next to him.

Tony was the next person to speak "This is not what I was expecting when Friday told me Cap wanted the team here but finding our wayward angel is the best surprise I can think of so does anyone want to fill me in?"

Bucky nodded "I went into her room because it's her birthday and when I sat on her bed, she yelled, scaring the shit outta me. Insists that she wasn't gone and accused me of pulling some prank. She didn't even believe Friday. I figured I'd bring her out so everyone could tell her but she didn't believe any of us." He looked at her "She seems to believe now."

Radar felt tears running down her face "I swear, the last thing I remember is having a hard time sleeping and talking to Bucky. I think we fell asleep on the couch watching tv. Then I woke up in my bed a few minutes ago when Bucky sat on me." She looked at him "What's going on?"

Bucky kept rubbing her back and told her about Meghan coming to her room and leaving the compound with her, how they discovered Meghan was Alexander Pierce's daughter. How they had been searching for her or any clue what had happened but every lead was a dead end and how she definitely wasn't there last night.

Tony spoke up "I don't know what happened but the first thing we need to do is wake Helen Cho and have her perform a complete physical to make sure you're ok and see if there are any clues to help solve this mystery."

Radar nodded "Yeah, uh ok. I don't know how anyone could wipe my memory like that but I can't remember a damn thing." She tried to focus and concentrate but it made her head ache and the harder she tried, the worse the pain was until she cried out.

Bucky pulled her into him "Hey, doll, it's gonna be ok. Don't hurt yourself trying to remember right now. I'll take you up to see Helen and we'll figure this out, ok?

I'll be right by your side for as long as you need me. I promise."

Radar looked at Bucky with tears in her eyes "Ok. I'm scared of what she will find but I need to know what the fuck is going on."

Steve started over with breakfast and Radar sat quietly, picking at her food until Friday told them that Helen was ready to see her. The team followed them to the medbay, Bucky holding her hand the entire way.

"Don't worry, doll. I've got you and I won't let go for as long as you need me."

Radar nodded and followed him into an exam room.

Chapter 12

@unaxv @calwitch @buckitostan @cjand10 . @vicmc624 @sandrab02

[enrichment-time-in-my-enclosure]

Chapter 4 - Liability

<-last-masterlist-next->

!!Written portion under the cut!!

Izuku lays on the bench next to you as you carefully pluck a soft feather from the back of your wings. You'd need one big enough to wrap his forearm, so it took a bit more effort as you strained to pull it out from the root.

"Does that hurt?" An expression of concern covers the green-haired man's face as you cringe at the sore feeling following the removal.

"Just a bit. I've been off duty for a while due to all the backlash and stuff... so my feathers grew in a bit thicker, and I'm not used to taking them out anymore. Quirk still works like a charm, though."

You carefully wrap his arm, and within a few seconds, it's as good as new.

"holy shit..."

"I guess it takes less time than I expected now. huh.."

Just as Izuku is about to start his energetic tirade about how awesome and helpful your quirk is, a cold hand rests on your shoulder, and a familiar stoic voice speaks in your ear.

"As I said, I need to talk to you. I can't keep this a secret any longer."

Shoto guides you out of the tent and into a more private storage room within the training facility. His face is unreadable, but he has an air of uncertainty that makes you nervous. Shoto is rarely worried like this.

"I'm talking to you here because I know the commission has your phone tapped, and you technically aren't supposed to know about this."

You weren't new to your government-assigned guardians at the commission hiding things from you. Ever since you were a little girl, they kept you entirely out of the know. They proclaimed it was for your own good, but you knew the truth. Like everyone else in the hero world, they saw you as an asset. One that must be kept in perfect order. That meant not informing you of certain important things to avoid stressing your mind...

...or prompting you to think for yourself.

"Is my brother in danger? Or you and the other students?" The words of Mr. Takahashi echoed in your brain.

You'll only become a liability to these people.

"No. Actually, this time, it's only you."

You stiffen at his response.

"Me?"

"Last night, when I was on the phone, I was getting exclusive intel from my father. We have confirmation that All for One and the League of Villains plan to ambush the school with the goal of taking you hostage."

"So what, they want to hold me for ransom or lure in my brother to take him out?"

"They want your quirk."

A chill runs through your body at the thought. The league was extremely powerful. Each member had a quirk that could take you out in seconds. All for One, taking your quirk would be detrimental to the heroes.

The League of Villains would be practically invincible.

"You weren't supposed to know because the commission thought you'd try and surround yourself with us. The way my father was talking about it made it seem like they were more concerned with bad publicity for hero students than your safety."

That tracks.

"So what? They were just gonna let me get taken?"

"Most likely. I'm not sure what the plan was from there. Just be prepared. I'll try to stick by you when I can, but when it happens, I'm not sure what I'm allowed to do."

Great. So the commission was planning on using you as human bait to get the League right where they want them.

This whole plan sounded half-baked to you. All for One could steal a quirk in a matter of seconds. How could they guarantee he wouldn't execute his own plan before you were taken to safety?

"Fuck. Shoto, I don't know what to do now."

"I know. I'll be here. I won't let anything bad happen to you."

Overcome with the need to be close to your dearest friend in your moment of need, you wrap your arms around the tall, split-haired man's neck in a much-needed embrace.

Cautiously, he wraps his around your back, resting his chin on your head as he attempts to soothe your worry.

His heart nearly beats out of his chest at your touch.

"Y/n?"

"Yeah, Sho?"

"I promised to protect you when we were children... you're always looking after me when I overwork myself and get injured. It's time I put those words into action again."

You look up into his two-toned eyes and feel your heart slow with his breathing.

"To hell with what the commission tells me to do. Anyone who tries to bring harm to my...

...my best friend...

...will meet my flames."

A/n- Finally conflicttttttt!! I'll reveal more of your backstory as we go along!! Obviously the whole Hawks backstory has a massive hand in all of it. Plussssss more todoroki family interaction coming soon (in unexpected ways)

-----Taglist-----

@lunamoonbby

@themultifandomgirl

@r31h4

[megabuild]

as a bdubs fan, what are your thoughts on his team kill in last life/how that affected his relationships going into later seasons? 🎤

i think the reason a lot of people struggle with this is that many of us (myself included!) are still deeply into the idea of the characters being wholly separate from their creators, but you can't really talk about bdubs' killing of tango without acknowledging bdubs the man's love of doing whatever will tell the best story. it's why he doesn't kill etho as the boogeyman, and it's why he kills tango and lizzie when he does- those decisions are conscious choices as a narrator that he knows will make more drama and incentivize people to react in more interesting ways. this carries onto other controversial decisions of his, like "betraying" impulse at the end of 3rd life, and his behaviour in double life.

a lot of smarter people than me have made commentaries on how this sort of decision-making would relate to c!bdubs and i'm not going to attempt to try and get on their level but it's something that i feel the need to mention, because otherwise bdubs' decisions (particularly in last life) are often confusing and unstrategic to those who don't watch him. because yes, obviously, looking at him as purely a character with no awareness of what's going on outwith the story of a closed death game is going to make him look callous and uncaring. if you strip away all of the overarching narratives that lead to his decisions- for example, impulse being disloyal and betraying others all throughout 3rd life only to get his comeuppance at the end, or much of tango's story throughout the whole series being tied to him being dehumanised, objectified, and treated unfairly- then they do appear cruel and unwarranted. but at the same time, looking at bdubs' character purely as a narrative force with the omniscient ability to further other storylines doesn't lend to a lot of interpretations (even if this was done very literally in limited life by not having individual episodes and spending much of his time doing "boring" tasks to assist his team).

something particularly interesting about bdubs is how his behaviours aren't really called out except by those who perceived him as having wronged them (impulse and tango), as opposed to say, bigb and pearl, who despite only having "wronged" a select few people have worse reputations across the server. i don't know enough about bigb or pearl to hazard a guess at why this is but it could be due to the people they've crossed having more respect or influence- i can't speak for impulse but tango in particular is not taken very seriously, so the last life kill within the series is almost a joke, not a genuine threat. couple this with, for example, pearl having won and placed highly in dl/sl respectively, while bdubs' pvp is often not fantastic (though again this could be a choice on his part- see the liml skizz fight) and it can be easier to see why she could be perceived as a threat while bdubs is not.

so how does it affect his teams going forward? well, from last life onwards, one could say that the only people bdubs has teamed with are those who either a) have good reason to trust him regardless due to prior experience (cleo, etho) or b) those who have little other choice due to being perceived similarly as untrustworthy (scar, pearl). one could also say that it hasn't actually affected his teamups that much because bdubs was already dismissed as a liability from the get go (see: widow's alliance in 3rd life) and so, coupled with tango's habit of making bad decisions and being dehumanised, his kill in last life was seen less as his fault and more tango's fault for making the foolish decision of continuing to stay in the alliance. so bdubs' reputation remains as poor as it was initially and doesn't take the hit that bigb or pearl's did! it's a similar situation to scar or jimmy, but with the difference that bdubs is seen as just that bit more capable, along with the fact that rather than being an inevitable danger to himself (though he is fully capable of that) he's an inevitable danger to others, whether he wants to be or not.

this is all a bit of a nothingburger ramble not least because most of his alliances repeat (the only standout one being the mounders in secret life which has been wiped from my memory entirely) but i hope it at least makes sense.

[ratt-king]

"I want them DEAD!!! I hate Pidbit so much!!" I say as I write the meetings between Tim and Darry for Pidbit mafia au. . . more under the cut!

☆

Darry fixed his tie about five times as he spoke, clearing his throat a dozen more. It was clear that he was nervous. He was handsome too, and although he was nervous, he was firm and quick when negotiating, strong arguments, and strong arms. So maybe Tim was a little more interested in Darry than the alliance... He likes strong leaders, sue him!

"Mr Shepard, you haven't said a word since I came in. Is there something on your mind?" Darry asked.

You. Tim clasped his hands on the desk. "How does this show you know what you're doing, Mr. Curtis?"

Confusion filled Darry's face. The performance, territory, and the enemies clearly showed that they were doing well for themselves. Tim gave him an expectant look. But the Shepards had neighboring circles of influence, so it's not as though he doesn't believe Darry.

"Mr. Shepard, the facts dont lie. It's not whether or not you think we aren't. We are more than-"

His voice was smooth, the only hint of emotion being the slow rise in speed. It would be easy to have him coming back, but Tim has to play his cards right. He can't afford to offend the man despite not wanting to work with him. These meetings could be a source of entertainment.

"I don't make assumptions. But this is from when, and I hate to say, your father was in command." Tim leaned back against his chair. Hook. "You may be just as efficient or more, but there is no proof of that yet, Mr. Curtis."

Tim knew that Darry would have no arguments against this. Its true, his rise to power was sudden, just as this offer. Infact the word of Darrel Sr. dying still had yet to reach many others. Even Tim was expecting to see the older man, not the son of his.

Darry wasn't just going to give up though, this alliance could be crucial to running Bob Sheldon and his help out of Tulsa.

"With due time, I can prove my efficiency." Darry fixed his tie once more. Line, "Would you be amendable to recurring meetings? If proof is what you want, I can provide it-" sinker.

"Well, aren't you persistent?" Tim let a smirk spill onto his face. "I would be willing to review your methods, I'll see you again in two weeks. Mr. Curtis"

"Of course, Mr. Shepard." Darry said as a younger woman, who looked like Tim shooed him out.

She gave him a kind smile as she walked him out. They always had strict security, but walking him to his car seemed excessive. She gave a knowing smirk, having practicallly sniffed out Darry's worries.

"Don't fret, since you're coming back, we're making sure we know what vehicle and where you're coming in from." Her assurance was laced with something threatening.

Although she went back to the sweet smile as he drove away, Darry couldn't shake the feeling of danger being just over his shoulder...

...

Tim watches as Angela crept back into the room with an evil look on her face. He could never keep a secret from her, seeing how she manages to force the truth out of him. At least it made her a good spy and an even worse pain in Tim's ass.

"Angela."

"Tim?" She giggled, "Is there a reason you're dragging this out? You said you didn't think we should work with them."

He can always trust her to use his words against him. It was obvious that Tim was just keeping Darry as eyecandy, but he wasn't just going to admit that. He has a reputation after all.

"His father was an exceptional leader, and Mr. Curtis seems to be a promising leader." Tim stated.

It was sterile, avoiding any emotion giving him away, but lack of emotion is emotion, and it speaks volumes. Angela decided not to press for more information, likely going to gossip with her friends. And Slyvia, god Tim really didn't want to work with them. If the stories Sylvia tells about her 'mystery man' from the Curtis territory are any bit accurate, they're sloppy and reactive and a liability for Tim's reputation.

☆

Tim decided to venture into the Darry's territory this time around. He didn't want a repeat of Angela's nosiness. Slyvia already side eyed him. He didn't need or want her raunchy jokes about cowboys and musclemen. When Tim came in, two guys playing with, hopefully unloaded, guns, were laughing like it was normal. One of them directed him in the right direction. His name was Soda, and he was also easy on the eyes like his brother but with fewer muscles.

Tim got himself trapped in a conversation with him, finding himself nodding along despite not knowing what he was saying. Something about cars, maybe his brothers? He wasn't really paying attention.

"I won't hold ya much longer," He said with an infectious chuckle, "Tell Darry I need him to approve Steve for working on the cars while you're there wontcha?"

"Okay- I suppose...?" Tim said as Soda gave him a playful shove in the right direction.

...

"Sorry for my late arrival, Mr. Curtis." Tim said as he took a seat across from Darry. "I got caught up with your brother. By the way, you have to approve some guy Steve for cars."

Darry looked a little embarrassed, likely from his brothers brief run-in with tim. He just hoped Tim didn't recognize Soda as the guy who threw a molotov at his brother. Or run into Dally, Dally had messed with their stuff about a million times.

"That's more than okay, Mr. Shepard. I know how he likes to talk," Darry's chest rumbled with laughter, "I'm surprised he let you go so quick! Now let's get into business, yeah?"

The facts didn't lie, Darry was a promising man, and they were only getting more power, and even though their influences were few, they had an iron grip over them. Even being a direct competitor to the Sheldons for weaponry and hits. It still bugged Tim that they were so casual about everything.

"So tell me, does this soothe your worries?" He said.

Tim figured it was an easy way to drag this out, "You are promising, but sloppy. You're effective, but there's countless mistakes along the way. I think my worries have just been replaced with new ones." So why don't you soothe it with your lips instead?

Darry took a deep breath, irritation deep in his body as he spoke, "Mr. Shepard, mistakes are bound to happen, and we always come out on top."

Irritation was the first step. Soon, Tim would bring him to fondness it was important to let Darry down on a negative note and pick up on a positive one. Keeping him on edge kept him aware, which allowed him to be easier to read.

How about you get on top of me? "Coming out on top means nothing if the towers is a strong wind away from collapsing." Tim hummed, taking a sip from the water offered.

Darry tapped his finger impatiently. "And about the alliance? Does this change your answer?"

Tim shrugged, "Why dont I come back every couple weeks, on Thursday, to see about the behavior of your boys?"

A car engine began in the background, then a loud explosion right after. Tim and Darry sat in silence for almost 5 minutes until the same brother burst in.

"Uhm, Dare... I might've busted an engine..." He said, holding his side. "and a rib."

Oh god. This was the group that he was going to ally with. Tim definitely did not want to work with them. It helped that Darry also looked mortified at the situation.

"I'll see you on Thursday, 'Dare'. At least pretend you have some control by then."

☆

So what do we think guyss??!??!?@,? I'm actually going crazy i hate writing (false) i think literacy shouldn't exist and people shouldn't have ever invented it.

[19blackbutterfly97-blog]

A/B/O - Belova Part 2

This is a very early work in progress I don't even have an actual title for it yet (I'll accept suggestions). I'm working on a part 3, let me know if you want to be tagged. Either way, hope you enjoy!!!!

Word Count: 1119

Warnings: Arguing, swearing(use of the word F*cK like twice), broody Bucky

Part 1

>>>><<<<

Bucky stood on the side of the room, leaning against the window sill. He's pretending to ignore the argument Steve and Tony find themselves engaged in. It's been a week since Sam decided to play matchmaker and submit multiple endorsements for Alice as the team's analyst.

"I don't get how out of all the analysts in that department this is the one that keeps popping up." Tony complains, looking over the Omega's file again.

"She's qualified and she's worked with us before." Steve reminds him.

"I don't care. This job requires field work. We're not dragging an Omega to a Hydra base with us."

"Why not? She can take it." Sam pipes up from his front row seat on the couch. He looks like he's watching the Superbowl rather than the top Alphas of the pack arguing. Meanwhile, the other Avengers are staying silent and simply observing the chaos.

"Sam." Natasha warns. Tony shakes his head and grumbles under his breath about liabilities. "The point is that her designation literally isn't allowed to be freely put in danger."

"S.H.I.E.L.D is trying to change that." He argues back. "Besides, it's not like we're asking her to fight. We're just asking her to gather intel while we're fighting off the bad guys. We can pair her up with Bucky and -."

"No." Bucky interrupts, finally speaking for the first time since this discussion started. "I won't be responsible for an Omega. On or off the field."

"You're the most qualified."

"I said no. What part of that did you not understand?"

"He has a point..." Steve mutters, staring at the photo of Alice.

"No, he doesn't." Bucky retorts and cuts a glare at Sam. "I'm refusing whatever stupid idea he has cooked up this time. We don't even know if she'll fit the pack dynamic or not."

"What do you want us to do? Bring in another Alpha and hope we don't overload the pack?"

"No, I'm just saying there's options."

"Who?" Tony asks.

"I don't know. One of the Betas." Bucky answers, waving his hand dismissively. He's already had enough of the arguing and Sam in general. This answer only sparked more of an argument around him, not that he paid any attention to it.

In truth Bucky was terrified of meeting Alice. The moment he saw her picture he felt something he hadn't felt in a long time - desire. That feeling only got stronger when he read further into the description included in her personnel file: 5'2", 120 lbs, green eyes and black hair. Fucking perfect. For the first time in seventy years Bucky felt a physical reaction to a woman, even if it was just her picture. The Alpha in him awakening, silently begging him to track the Omega down and attempt to lay a claim. He pushed the thought away, very far away, reminding himself that he's a broken Alpha. She would have no interest in someone like him.

"At least meet with her first." Sam says, pulling Bucky out of the depraved thoughts starting to spiral around his brain.

"I can't believe you're serious about this." Wanda huffs. "She's a liability."

"There's ground work we need to do before we can even go on this mission."

"I think what Sam is trying to say is that we work with her before the mission." Steve interjects, trying to keep control of the discussion before it erupts into another argument. "We let her move up here and do office work. It'll give everybody time to get used to each other. We can use the time to train her a little so she's not as much of a liability and-."

"Who's training her?" Bucky asks suddenly, annoyed by the possibility of someone like Sam or Clint training Alice.

"Funny you should ask. I was thinking you, actually." Tony smirks. "Or do you not want to be responsible for an Omega in a training room either?"

A few of the others laugh which makes Bucky bristle. "If you're all set on this I just want to give her the chance to not die." Steve and Sam share a knowing look, both trying to hide smirks. Tony and Bucky both see through the façade, everyone now curious what the pair is secretly planning. "If she gets hurt or can't keep up, she's done."

"That's fair, but if she can you're watching her back on the mission."

Bucky huffs and gives a curt nod before turning back to the window. Great job, Barnes. That's the best way to make your life easier.

"I'll let Fury know we made our decision. Tony we should make sure one of the den rooms is cleaned up and ready for her."

Tony nods. "Yep, I'll get her set up and get her added to the system."

"We should probably get her an office space or something too." Nat says.

"I can get one of the spare spaces close to medical for her." Bruce offers quietly.

"That's sweet honey, but I'm afraid she'd be overwhelmed with that. She's not used to the chaos and scents like you." Natasha smiles at her Beta mate. "But I'm sure we can find an empty space around here somewhere... Maybe across the hall from the gym?"

"Why there?"

"So we can keep an eye on her when we're busy."

"That tracks." Bruce smiles and stands up, ready to get to work.

"Alright, guys, I think we all have an idea of what we're doing. I'll go talk to Fury." Steve stands as well and motions for Sam to follow him before walking away.

"What's up, man?" Sam asks just before Steve pushes him into an empty room and slams him against the wall.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"Just making sure the team is well equipped for the mission." He says, flashing a cheeky grin.

"I swear to God I'm not saving your ass when he figures out what you're doing and decides to beat your ass over it. I told you to stay out of it."

"I can't watch him spiral like this anymore, Steve."

Steve sighs and release his hold. "I don't like seeing it either but Buck... Bucky just isn't there yet."

"Neither is Alice." Sam mutters. "She isn't loud or bubbly. Honestly, if I didn't know any better I'd say she's depressed sometimes. This isn't just for him. It's for her too."

Steve shakes his head and sighs. "I can't really be considering this..."

"Two weeks. Give it two weeks and I promise you if nothing happens I'll drop it."

Steve starts at him for a moment with a raised eyebrow. "Two weeks." He repeats and pokes Sam in the chest. "But if either of them get hurt I'll personally let Bucky know who scratched his bike last month and sell tickets to the show. Do I make myself clear?"

"Crystal. Thank you, st- hold on. Bucky's bike? That wasn't me."

"No, I know it wasn't. But he doesn't know that."

[estiebestieban]

omg your tags were ABSOLUTELY PERFECT! you understood exactly what i was trying to say in my post and i truly appreciate that.

of course no one HAS to like esteban but whenever i see someone hate on him i just want to ask "why?". because pretty much 99% of the time their reasoning for hating on esteban is based off one of the narratives that has been thoroughly disproved, not just in my post (i don't think that highly of myself lmao) but in many testimonies over the years. i've even seen people say they don't really know anything about him and then just write paragraphs of lies to justify their dislike of someone they OPENLY ADMIT they could be wrong about! and if their whole basis for hating on a driver is based on a bunch of lies, then what's left once the falsehoods are deconstructed you know? (and if you're one of the 1% then go ahead - i can't stop you lmao!)

also i actually had written a line about how esteban's teammates, who have all been VERY TALENTED when it comes to getting the media on their side, have absolutely used this negative perception of esteban to boost themselves (i even had interview quotes from fernando and pierre at the ready and was trying to find some from checo) but i ended up removing it because i didn't want to be accused of using my post to hate on the aforementioned drivers. because of course my extensively researched and cited 1000+ word essay that i spent hours on and collaborated with multiple blogs was all written for a single line in which i "hate" on two drivers...

there are definitely times where i wish that esteban would play the media game and speak his truth (and i think he's actually testing the waters a bit with very reasonable statements). but that's not how he wants to approach things and i have so much respect for that. and considering all the team principals (including his very likely future team principal ayao komatsu) and other paddock members have vouched for him over the years, i think it was the right decision.

anyways sorry for another mini-essay in your ask box but i just wanted to say thanks again for your tags <3

You're so right for your post and you're always invited into my askbox for mini (or full length tbh) essays because you get it!!! (As do all other esteban stans I've seen on here cheers to like all five of us.

As a Dutch fan, the one question I get asked most is "Oh you must be a Max fan, right?" and when my answer is no, people go down the list of possible drivers I could be a fan of, but somehow they never say Esteban. When I say I'm an Alpine fan, the gut punch response is always "Oh, Fernando/Pierre, I get it."

While there is nothing wrong inherently wrong with assuming favourites, it's wild to me that even when I narrow it down to three possible drivers, Esteban still isn't even considered.

Even when I'm surrounded by major fans of the sport, the concept of Esteban having a genuine fan is foreign to people. I understand that most people around me view the sport through the lens of the Viaplay vision (and previously ZiggoSport) which favours Max to the extreme, and who couldn't give less fucks about other drivers. Esteban is hardly mentioned during broadcast, and when he is, it is always in a negative way (that's what happens when you take out the golden boy once I guess)

I've had this discussion time and time again, where I point out that Esteban drives in a similar style like Fernando - but where Fernando is praised for his balls and his attitude, Esteban is shoved aside as reckless and a danger. Where Max is hailed as the second coming of Christ, Esteban is deemed as a liability on track.

Why? Because he isn't considered charismatic enough? Even when he has countless fun and endearing interviews?

The media continues to cut Esteban out of the narrative wherever they can. An example would be people pushing the Pierre/Charles friendship for a dramatic tale of childhood friends turned competitors, but they leave out Esteban time and time again - like we don't have various images showing their closeness during their karting days.

Also, we forget way too often that Esteban and Max were rookies together in f3 in 2014 who both skipped f2 to go straight to f1. Only one of them won f3 that year, and it wasn't Max

[ponyosmom35]

sisters

Simon Ghost Riley x reader

Liability series chapter 8!!!!

synopsis: reader has a long-awaited conversation with her sister

warnings: angst, cursing, sisters fighting, ghost mentioned

link to liability series: https://www.tumblr.com/ponyosmom35/733401347573088256/simon-ghost-riley?source=share

MDNI

The medic hurried out of the cafeteria and followed after Emma once the conversation with Ghost had come to an end. She was tired of the silence, she needed this to be resolved so she could clear her head. No matter how much she hated swallowing her ego, she knew that the only way to get Emma to talk to her was to be the first to apologize. She opened the door to their and noticed Emma reading a book on her bed. Their eyes meet and rage fills the older sister's body instantly. 

"was I not clear when I said I have nothing to say to you?" Emma asks 

"that's fine, that means you can keep your mouth shut and listen to me" she says 

"I don't wanna talk about this right now just-" Emma starts, the younger sister cuts her off determined not to let Emma shut this down. "we are talking about this right now because I'm tired of the silence, I miss you" 

Emma's gaze softens slightly and she puts the book down, crossing her arms awaiting the apology. She sighs and sits down on her own bed, crossing her legs. "you were right about my behavior, I acted like a fucking idiot and I regret it. I put you in a compromising situation all because I let my ego get the best of me and that wasn't fair. You've done so much for me, and I'm sorry that I couldn't recognize that at first. After being here I see just how wrong I was, I'm so grateful that you got me this job, it's truly changed the way I view medicine"

"thank you for saying that" Emma says "It wasn't fair of Ghost to treat you like that, he can be a dick sometimes, so I can see why you were upset"

"speaking of, I apologized to him as well after you left. I thought about what you said and I don't want any bad blood between you and the team because of my words. He said it was forgotten but you know him, can't be sure" she smiles 

"he's a character thats for sure"

"I don't think I've ever met anyone like him before" she admits 

"I think he'd say the same about you"

"I doubt it- that man hates me"

"If he hated you then you would've been gone a long time ago" Emma says "I think he likes you a lot more than he lets on, we can all see the two of you"

Her breath hitches and she stares at her sister wide eyed "what?"

"it's obvious babe, you like each other!"

"what makes you say that?" she questions in shock 

"the way that he watches you, he's its like he's constantly checking on you. And don't think we didn't all notice how you stare at him when he's working out in the morning"

"I don't like Ghost! he's a dick Em!"

"a sexy dick" Emma points out

"he is undeniably sexy but that means nothing! a guy like that would never spare me a second glance, don't feed my delusions" she jokes 

"deny it all you want" Emma shrugs 

"I'm not here for sexy military men, I'm here to prove to you that I can do a good job"

"you have nothing to prove to me, I know how extraordinary you are"

"you mean that?" she asks

Emma moves over to her side and grabs her hand "I know how talented you are, that's why I wanted you here with me, I knew how many lives you'd save. we need you. I need you, and I'm sorry for my behavior this past week as well. I've said many things that I don't mean. I love you little sister, you're my best friend in this world and I'm so grateful to have you here with me" 

"I love you to Em" she says leaning her head on Emma's shoulder 

"I know that Ghost is packing at least 8 inches" Emma says breaking the sweet moment, she lifts her head and stares at her in shock as a blush creeps over her face. 

"oh my god you're blushing! I knew you liked him!" Emma says pushing her sister back "just imagine those arms lifting you up" she taunts 

"oh my god stop!" she laughs 

"don't tell me you haven't thought about it"

"obviously I have" 

"he's like a fucking greek god" Emma says 

"since when do you like men?" she asks 

"I don't but just because I'm a lesbian doesn't mean I'm fucking blind, that man is gorgeous, god took his fucking time on him" Emma says, causing the pair to laugh loudly. 

"his tattoos..." she trails off 

"he's stunning" Emma agrees

"I wonder what he looks like underneath the mask" she muses 

"I don't know, only people who've seen his face is the team. he won't even share his name with the rest of us"

"I wonder why"

"I'm not sure, all I've been told is that he's the real fucking deal, he's a living legend, a real ghost story. Most aren't even sure if he exits." 

"what do you mean?"

"anyone who's ever gotten close enough to see the skull mask is a dead man walking" Emma responds. the thought sends chills down her spine, goosebumps arise on her arms.

 "yet somehow you've yelled at him and managed to walk away unharmed, that means something"

"yeah I guess it does"

"all I'm saying is that you shouldn't ignore your feelings, just because he hasn't given you any signs that you'd expect doesn't mean he doesn't care. expect the unexpected with him, notice the little things" 

"I will" she nods 

Chapter 9: https://www.tumblr.com/ponyosmom35/734013605561974784/friendly-debates?source=share