#sparklyone

[kite62]

Rattray Head Lighthouse by SparklyOne on Flickr.

[whcottonsiu]

there's this guy.

I saw him before around the faculty for years and always found him very attractive. But that's it.  One year ago I discovered he was a very good friend of one of the guys of my generation at the museum (and I don't get along with that guy very well..)

This August we met at almost three classes (because I passed on the third one) and I see him on the class room for 4 hours straight. For that reason I didn't want to like him or even get to know him, because I knew it would be awkward if he noticed and we ended bad, also because in one of the classes the teachers insisted on pairing us as a team for the whole semester.

So I kept it cool, never looking at him too much, never more than greetings, but then he came to the museum requesting to make his social service there. And just WHAT FUCK. In the museum too?

My friends noticed something and went on about how he resembled Benny, the love of my life. I denied it. And they said he looked like Sherlock. I said they were nuts. And that I didn't like him. So one of them asked me if it was really like that, because SHE WANTED TO GIVE IT A TRY. And I said go ahead but inside I wanted her to back off. In the end he came no longer and I kept it cooler because I was angry at who knows what.

Time passed, almost 2 months and he says he's going to be absent for 2 weeks on a trip. And that's when I felt it. I felt something crushing in my chest. I didn't wanted him to go and I stalked him on the internet and realized he's in a whole different world than mine.

He went and left me missing him for more than 16 days. And I dreamt of him, and I was afraid to jump, and I started writing and singing and longing and pining.

When I knew he'd be back was a monday and we have no classes together that day. I hurried out of my last class to catch him because they always end early. But no, a little of magic helped to make his class a bit longer and I was panicking because I knew not what to do. I used to be cold with him, to act indifferent and most people though I disliked him, and here I was outside his classroom just to see him and tell him I missed him. 

I didn't, I hugged him as soon as he was out and asked for his trip, told him I was very glad he was back and hugged him once more, I was shaking with nervousness. I could barely talk and kept mumbling, he smiled politely and went his way.

BECAUSE REALLY THIS IS THE GIRL WHO SPENT A GOOD TWO MONTHS TRYING TO INGORE YOU, WHO BARELY KNEW A THING ABOUT YOU AND NOW SHE WAS ACTING LIKE SHE MISSED YOU.

The very next day you're at the museum and it gets awkward and awkward and I just knew it. We don't know each other, we've never chatted before and I almost confessed to you. Then our curator sent you to the library and that was no good. I had not a proper look at you and you had chores. In the evening I tried to keep it the same as before your trip but failed and some people noticed. A bit.

But on Wednesday I followed you to the library with a friend just to stalk you and you caught us and I was so embarrassed, I came back to the exhibition an pretended nothing happened, but you came up and requested some paper and there I go, I was about to let you to yourself but you insisted I stay so I did. Finally we had our first proper chat. 

You have that gaze that keeps me captive, that smile that makes the world shine. I like you. I like you.

And you probably already know. 

Just don't hurt me alright? It's been almost 5 years since I fell in love the last time, so if I ever get that screwed, please don't hurt me.

And that's the thing. I though I couldn't like someone so much ever again, because I tried and tried and never could.

And now I'm liking you. I get it, you like the attention, just don't mess me up.

Because I can't stay away.